#yeesh I’m rambling now lol

[krysmcscience]

It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)

Yeesh, this took forever. <:)

There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D

(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)

anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao

Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:

I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL

Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:

The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.

They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:

In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:

Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:

Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)

Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:

And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D

what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)

And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:

It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.

Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD

Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.

Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…

Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D

They’re also 100% a sub, obviously

Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic

The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO

Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:

Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:

Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)

Last but not least, have these shittens:

~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.

The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ

Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES

First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.

I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.

All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).

(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)

Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔

Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.

He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)

I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.

So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.

Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…

Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)

They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.

(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)

But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.

He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.

Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.

The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c

And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯

oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it

Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)

[mywonuderful]

redamancy

Summary: You were preparing for an upcoming literacy exam but as much as your boyfriend tried to refrain himself, he had the sudden urge for your lips, but you weren’t much help being too clueless by his actions

Pairing: optional male bias (H/N) X female!reader

Genre: wholesome fluff

Warnings: cringing from my poorly written fluff due to my lack of experience LOL no srs tho

A/N: hello everyone! I’m back after a long period of inactivity. Academics has been keeping busy which explains my extended absence but with my semester coming to an end, I can hopefully get back into writing again! Here’s a request for the anon! This is inspired by the 2 assignments, 3 tests and 3 labs that I have upcoming hehe good luck to everyone who are preparing for exams!

main masterlist

“You literally have a week to study for it.”

“That isn’t an excuse for me to slack off. You know how important this course is to me.” You opened your laptop and sat down on the couch, placing your feet on top of the coffee table. You saw your boyfriend in the corner of your eyes, taking a seat beside you. He was awfully quiet which made you glance up from your screen and was meet with his pouting face. “At least let me study for 1 hour .” You giggled as you pinched his soft cheeks.

“Ha ha, very funny. Your definition of 1 hour is more like a day. I’ve fallen for it too many times already. Don’t think you could fool me this time.” He groaned, rolling his eyes before an idea popped up in his head like a light blub lit up. You were focused on the screen, eyes narrowed as your hands endlessly pressed onto the keys of the keyboard. He quietly shifted over, his face leaning close to yours.

“You know that I’ve fallen for you way too many times to be counted too, right?” He whispered, a smile slowly appearing when you looked at him, head tilting back from his close approach.

“Mhmm. Isn’t that so. Could your head a bit, you’re blocking my screen.” You replied half-heartily, making your soulmate sit back on the couch, arms across over each other. He finally left you alone as he went on to do his own things, as you were able to focus in peace and quiet. Just then, he jumped on the couch, making your laptop falling out of you hands before you got a grip of it.

“Y/N! I think there’s something stuck on my lips! Could you get it off for me? I can’t see it but I can feel it.” You let out a sigh, and turned your attention to the you boyfriend who was sitting on the couch on his knees, pointing at his pouting lips. You narrowed your eyes, trying to spot the thing that was bothering your lover but he inched closer and close to your face, particularly your lips.

“Stop moving! How do you expect me to help you check when my eyes are crossed?” You held his face steady, and seriously took a look. “I don’t see-” 

“No no! It’s there! I can feel it” He exaggerated. You grumbled and took at look again, but he kept moving his lips, wiggling it back and forth. “Well, I don’t see it. Now let me get back to studying.” You lightly pushed his forehead before placing the laptop back on your lap. He sat there, giving you the stare because of how oblivious you were at he fact that he wanted nothing but kisses from you. But then again, that only brought up more ideas for your playful boyfriend.

“Let’s play a quick game. It’ll only take like 5 minutes max. It’ll be like a short break for you.” He was glued to your side once again, as your tried to shake off his arm that was wrapped around yours while you where trying to type. In defeat, you place your laptop on the coffee table like earlier, waiting for the game he suggested. “Okay you have to guess the sentence while I act it out.” He have a childish yet devilish smile. You chuckled at his lovable actions before he started acting out the sentence. He pointed at you, then himself, then him hugging himself very aggressively and then pressed his lips together. You furrowed your brows, trying to hold in your laughter.

“Me... You.... Hugging?” You answered in a confused tone, not really catching on his actions. He tilted his head in thought be then nodded.

“Aw, you wanted me to hug you?” He was about to explain but was cut off when you pulled him into your embrace as you heard him muffle into your shoulder. “You could’ve just said so, love. I’m almost done right?” He opened his mouth before he saw you focused on your laptop screen, typing away as he sat there in defeat once again, feeling more annoyed by the fact that you couldn’t take a hint. He stared at your working figure for a solid couple of minutes before your laptop fell off your lap, onto the couch as H/N has his hands on either side of your cheeks, his eyes staring into your enlarged pupils from his sudden movements.

“Yeesh?” You manage to say from having your cheeks squished. H/N was looked directly into your eyes before they slowly trailed down to your lips, as he bit his own. “H/N...?”

“After all this time...” He spoke in a soft yet serious tone. “You just can’t seem to figure it out, can’t you?” You blinked a couple of times. You felt his face inching closer to yours, but you couldn’t tell if he actually was or was your blinking making you hallucinate when your ringtone broke the silence between the two of you as you pushed hands away and leaned towards the coffee table to answer your call.

“Hello?” one of your friends called in need of your help on the upcoming exam. In the corner of your eyes, you saw your boyfriend stand up from the couch before storming into the bedroom as you watched in confusion, not giving much thought as you started explaining to your friend one of the lectures. After the call, you got to finish up with your study session and closed your laptop, letting out a long heavy sigh. You stretched your arms over your head, glancing over at the couch where your boyfriend would normally be found, scrolling through his phone or playing video games. You found the seat beside empty, as you sudden sensed loneliness. Standing up, you make your way to your shared bedroom. As you opened the door, H/N lifted his head at your appearance before he turned his body to face the window, covering his body with the blanket, letting out a rather loud sigh. You stood at the entrance of your bedroom, confused before softly chuckling at yourself and made your way to the opposite of the bed, crawling on it. You tried lifting the blanket that was covering your boyfriend’s handsome face when he tugged on it. You sat on your knees, confused on his behavior.

“You alright there?” You questioned as you heard a mumbled “hmmph” from under the blankets. “Hey, I didn’t go over the time I promised you, I don’t understand why you’re ma-”

“YOU’RE SO CLUELESS” he yelled from under the covers, making you stop at your words. “You can’t even take a hint.” He spoke at a lower tone. 

“Hey, hey, whatever it is that I did, let’s talk it out okay?” You nudged his shoulder and attempted to lift the blanket to see your pouted boyfriend with crossed arms, lying under the covers as you covered your mouth from bursting into laughter on how adorable he looked. “Okay love, what did I do wrong?” Scooting closer to him, he glanced at you before letting out a whine throwing his arms in the arm in frustration.

“Seriously Y/N? You can’t even notice?” He sat up, eyes narrowed at yours as you shook your head, not understanding his words. “Was it not clear?”

“What isn’t clear?” You slowly asked as he rolled his, turning his back against you as he sat facing the window. “I don’t get-”

“I just want you to kiss my lips!” He confessed in a groaned manner as you tried to make sense of the whole situation. A smile creeped on your face from his cute attitude. You got off the bed and walked over to the side were he was sitting with his eyes closed and pouted lips. Smiling, you hugged him, making the two of you fall onto the bed as his back hits the mattress with you hovering over him. 

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t notice.” He brushed out the hairs that was covering his eyes as you smiled softly at him. You could see his lips curving up into a smile before he frowned. 

“Of course you didn’t notice. You’re always busy studying you don’t even pay attention to me. Not even all the signs I’ve sent.” You let out a silent ‘aw’ as your boyfriend rambled on how you were too focused on your studies. 

“How about I teach you a new word? I think you’ll like the meaning of this. I promise.” His eyebrow raised in anticipation. “It’s called redamancy.” you spoke, eyes glancing down at his lips.

“What does that mean?” you eyes travelled back up, locking eyes with his

“The act of loving in return.” smiles were formed on both of your faces as you leaned down to kiss his nose, a cheeky smile plastered on your lover’s face.

“How about I show you?” You chuckled before getting kisses on his lips and ticklish kisses all over him, as the room with filled with laughter, shrieks and love. 

[flame-shadow]

deltarune chp 2 ramble, tl;dr- mixed impressions, though overall, i ended up enjoying more than i initially thought i would

okay so i finally watched some playthroughs of the different routes. probably still missed smaller details but eh. you might, as one friend brought up, be wondering why i didn't play myself since the game is free and all that. well, i wanted to give the story and characters a chance, and DR as a game doesn't jive with me. The playstyle isn't my thing, as I learned while playing chapter one way back when (lol, it wasn't that long ago), so if i played the game and had to deal with bullet hell and the other tediums of this style of game, my overall sentiments would be worse.

So um, impressions: more engaging overall than chp 1. (of course, chp 1 was necessary to lay the groundwork, but still.) queen was very amusing. im glad lancer was a minor character. fuuuuuck berdly. i know he was better by the end, but dear god, he annoys the fuck out of me. noelle... meh for the main route, im curious what shared history she and Kris have, and she was interesting in the weird route. i have next to no investment in romance in general, so her and susie's stuff was tedious to get through. the ending with kris was veerryyyy interestingggg.

yeesh, that above paragraph makes it sound like i don't like any of the characters. that's not true. in the moments and their interpersonal interactions/dynamics were often quite amusing or at least interesting. i definitely smiled and chuckled at a lot of things.

um, other things i liked- many of the character designs and musics! "A Cyber's World?" especially. groovin' 🎵 I like the designs for Swatch and the swatchlings as well as the werewires. Lots of the goofs and gags were funny.

things i didn't care for as much: spamton.. his story is interesting, but he has the unfortunate aspect of being a ventriloquist dummy and.. well.. human-like dolls aren't my thing, nor characters designed with similar aesthetics. and his dialogue is very challenging to read. alas. anyway- what the FUCK was up with berdly's nipple fixation????? i don't actually want to know (no NOT try to explain it to me), but like. wtf i am not okay. uhhh other things. ralsei. forgot to mention him earlier. i wish he'd put his hat back on. I liked that version of his design better. also, for the record, i don't trust him.

i won't talk about game mechanics since i intentionally avoided playing because i know what i don't like. however, i will express my utter boredom at the mecha queen fight (except for the music). that looked like no fun to play, and it certainly wasn't fun to watch. I skipped through most of it. went on for too long without anything worthwhile happening.

so what's that mean for me now? well, i will draw some things. i can talk with my friends about it now that i know things. i might reblog the occasional art, but i doubt i'll go looking for anything. In general, I'm gonna stay out of the fandom cuz wow, i can't match that intensity or dedication lol. but y'all have fun! I ain't here to make you feel bad for liking a quirky game.

[shirtlesssammy]

15x14 Bullet Point Rambles

The recap catches us up like NO TIME DURING A TERRIBLE ENDLESS PANDEMIC HAS PASSED

Also, hi! We missed this, bbys <3 

Dean’s in an apron, which brings me joy. Jack’s in his room brooding, which is what one does with a soul! VALID

The bunker’s air system goes down, and Dean heads off to handle some pipes, wink wink? (Sorry, Cas isn’t in this episode, which takes some of the fun off of our endless joy in innuendo.)

A random lady pulls out some Scooby Doo underwear Dean owns and folds it. YES GOOD. “Mrs. Butters” is her name, which is delightful and makes me crave butter cookies. Is she a Lady of Letters?

Boris: Ooo I prefer “Lady of Letters” to “Woman of Letters”

Mrs. Butters whooshes into the runes of the bunker when it goes into standby! She’s like a woo woo mystical version of a mysterious spaceship AI found drifting around a desolate planet.

The Men of Letters incorporating Mrs. Butters’ magic into the bunker is so very misogynistic, colonial, etc. and we hope there will be a reckoning and freeing later on in this episode because we are squicked out

Boris: We love how Jack has aged in this show even though, as a 30-some year old man, the actor CLEARLY has not actually aged significantly

This episode is actually perfectly timed for right now, so close to the holidays. Thanks, global pandemic?

“Enjoy the world you’re fighting for!” is a wonderful sentiment for Mrs. B to tell Sam! #End of Season Goals

We’re over Dean wearing this nightgown when he’s not a cartoon but ALSO he’s adorable? Help us

We love the race to head out on a hunt like they’re Ghostbusters. ADORBS

Jack’s alone with Mrs. B and we ARE concerned for him since she seems both judgey and mysterious. Her weak “oooooh” when he confesses to killing Mary just made us both LOL IRL though

“Life gives us second chances and it’s our obligation to hold onto them.” BRB waving a lighter at this statement

Look at these well fed, easy hunting babies! This…is how the series ends, right? With this musical montage?

MJOLNER!!! Sam “Worthy McWorthypants” Winchester

Boris wants to know why Jack keeps getting fed smoothies. We are VERY SUSPICIOUS

Hey we’re still pretty grossed out by the Men of Letters indoctrination of Mrs. Butters into their mission. AAAAND now we’re thinking Mrs. B sees Jack as a threat

SAM WANTS TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH EILEEN AAAAAUUUUUUGH

Whoa Mrs. B. is calling Jack out on his all powerful being thing. (But is Mrs. B concerned about the same for herself? Inquiring minds would like to know - give me your codas)

BORIS IS RIGHT ABOUT THE SMOOTHIES winner winner chicken dinner. Mrs. B wants to get rid of all monsters and that is some properly strong brainwashing

Dean looks at Mrs. B and his sandwich…and prepares to kill her while mourning sandwiches in general. Dean bby

Sam gets home past his “curfew.” Is it the morning after? WE NEED TO KNOW

Aw, Dean’s being a good wing man for his brother, even mid-capture. Good Bean

Jack asks Dean is he thinks he’s a monster. Dean admits that he’s trying to forget what Jack did, but he has let enough rage go to want to save Jack

Sam gets trapped by Mrs. B. (Boris, sidetracked: Mmmmhmmmm Sam always looks good in a V-neck)

Mrs. B now has Dean AND Jack AND Sam trapped…oof. Sam argues for Jack’s life to Mrs. B.

“Mister Cuthbert taught me that pain can be a wonderful teacher.” UGH I’m concerned for Sam’s safety but also feel for Mrs. B. AND THEN SHE PULLS OFF SAM’S NAIL never mind kill her

Dean hits the reset button on the bunker instead of standby, and Mrs. B runs free. She tries to take out her crazy traumatized past on Jack

Dean pleads for Jack: “He can save the world!” No pressure, Jack!

Mrs. B breaks down, her conditioning shedding. And I’m glad this episode really DID come around to recognizing that she was used by Cuthbert! Good job, show!

PHEW we are glad Mrs. B healed Sam’s hand, otherwise he would’ve had to wait for Cas to get back and we would’ve had to think about it some more....yeesh

Mrs. B heads back to the beautiful woods! Back into the world!

“It’s an interdimensional geoscope,” Mrs. B finally explains to Dean about that random giant telescope in the library. (He says he doesn’t see anything when he looks through it, and she’s gently concerned. SEND US YOUR CODAS)

Sam and Jack connect at the end of the episode. Jack’s worried that if he was trapped by Mrs. B then he may never be able to kill God. UGH sorry Jack this pressure is rough bby. I’ll send you some chocolate

Dean MAKES JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE and we want to squish Dean’s wittle cheeks. (Think how many bonus points this will buy him in Cas’s estimation EYEBROW WAGGLE)

We’re in the endgame now! Hold us!!!

[yakocchi]

(I’m the only one who knows Akihiko in this way...)

first i was like ...well i have 100+ tickets saved from that reading promotion so i was like might as well do the sebas route bc i’ve done everyone else’s but now i feel compelled to try rly hard on the election 😔 but the kiss avatars aren’t as cute as the hug ones from last year imo

i did one run on the first day in a hurry to get them all spent before the story fever was done (before i realized all the story fevers will be x3 whoops) so looking back through that rush... this route is not so bad esp. versus the others on the second half (dazai and count) 

further rambling behind the cut bc woops i realized i started typing a whole lot omg tried to keep the spoilers (for sebas’ route) as pretty vague but in terms of spoilers for dazai, count, etc. it’s all over

sorry if you don’t like reading run-on sentence hell, but that’s how my stream of consciousness works orz

but i couldn’t help feel like this route was kind of trying its best in getting the reader interested in faust. isn’t as bad as it was in dazai’s route where i feel like some ppl end up just sitting there going “i’d much rather be with charles wtf” lul to me it was like they’re trying to invest some interest in him but are delicate in trying to make him not seem too irrational in his motivations and antagonistic or else they get into a Will situation in which nobody likes him... and then when the route finally comes out ppl are too mad to change their mind lol.

i just feel kinda bothered with the second half routes bc at times they feel like parts of them only serve to introduce the new characters. which is fine, but like... it takes time away from the actual love interest and it’s like “beh this didn’t happen with a good bit of the other characters” u know. i actually think sebas’ route is the best in finding that balance. i mean with the count it’s justifiable that vlad consumes a lot of “space” bc he is a convenient vehicle (a childhood friend) to further understanding why the count is the way he is. charles essentially appears out of nowhere and takes a pretty active role as a rival, which is new for a ikevam route... but as mentioned before has the unfortunate effect of readers perhaps siding with charles instead of dazai. whoops

well thinking about it there’s probably people who read the count’s route and went “well i think vlad might have an actual case here” in terms of the terrible future he foresaw or w/e .......but the writers probably caught on to that and that’s why they threw in the part where he throws the mc through the door where she could’ve died a terrible death. WELL people still choose to stan. somehow. I MEAN with charles he essentially tried to “axe” dazai by trying to “help” him so mc will be all alone for charles to love or w/e but at least that wasn’t violence. honestly i thought charles was going to go apeshit given how the route took a good chunk having charles toil about his past as a killer (as he was an executioner) and how he’s worried that mc will judge and dislike him if she ever finds out about that

ok well with faust and sebas, faust takes up more of a “devil in plain sight” role where you know he’s gonna do something sketchy as shit and either sebas and mc will fall for it. and it’s sebas who really falls for it first but it was for loooooove man. it was very dramatic (given how sebas has that dumb cliched backstory but i like that dumb cliche) but i mean the man’s gotta have a plot somewhere

i’m surprised that vlad doesn’t actually have a proactive role in this route, granted that his route is the very next one in the schedule. i guess writers knew people would be interested in him regardless so they essentially left him out. which is good, more time for faust. 

but what really put surprised me is that they threw in another leo and count gay dads moment like the older routes have where the two of them are used to keep the plot moving so the main charas can go ichaicha try to take care of shit in the bg. i thought this one for this route was esp...... a choice. it makes me realize that their bond is something that’s really beyond a simple friendship? probably bc they’re both old purebloods, but even with that... the very few times the readers get to see the friendship between vlad and the count imo it’s always... strange. like i can’t really tell that they’re that close of friends? like yea clearly they were close somehow given that they built the magicke door together but still, it always gave me the “crazy friend but you stick with him bc he’s known you forever” vibe. 

like that scene (in the sebas route) where the count finally comes back and leo is the first and only one to greet him at that time... it was very heartwarming in that “old bros” way. you can tell that they really have each other’s back, like that time in the count’s route where the count embarks on vlad’s castle and leo is like “(i’m not going to stop you but) if you don’t come back by dawn... i’m going to go get you. because i, too, cannot die” whew powerful. it’s a nice contrast from when the count was very down after an event in the past and vlad doesn’t really comfort him and actually is more like “you’re weak because of things like this” (not the actual quote but it’s the same gist) lol. like i know why he didn’t support him emotionally because at that point the count was totally not down for vlad’s plans but yeesh

another vague thing from the route... i like how while the count is unavailable, leo more or less takes the helm as the caretaker of the mansion residents. like it’s only a minor part in the grand scheme of things in the route but it’s clear that leo does have great compassion in his heart. in the dazai route too, he’s like the only chara that tries to set dazai straight (albeit for a single scene). 

ok thats all i really wanted to say before this becomes some dumb leo woaw we love him essay thanks for reading this garbage lol

[katieskarlette]

Shadows Rising: A Reaction Post

Short, mostly non-spoilery version:  I liked it overall.  I give it a solid B, maybe a B+.

I was disappointed in how little Nathanos and/or Sylvanas content there was, but I think proclamations of the ship’s doom are premature.  

I’m intrigued by the first rumblings of new character development for certain characters, especially Anduin, Alleria and Turalyon.

I was rooting for Talanji so much.  She’s great. Zekhan is a cinnamon roll too pure for this world.  Sira was kind of boring. Fairshaw is so darn heartwarming I can’t stand it. I like Bwonsamdi more now. The lack of Wrathion is unsurprising but unfortunate. Nothing new with Tyrande but she’s already poised for major development in Shadowlands.

Much longer, spoilery version below.

This ended up being more of a ramble than an essay, but there’s a lot of disjointed thoughts pinging around in my head, so let’s dive in.

Overall, I enjoyed Shadows Rising.  Was it the best book ever?  No.  Not even the best Warcraft book ever.  But it was an enjoyable read.  It’s always a treat to get into the heads of characters we mostly know in passing from in-game events.  There are internal, emotional beats that cannot easily be explored in the game, and the books are a way to build the world and the characters in a more introspective, slow-paced manner.  I like that.  (That’s not to say there are no action scenes, because there definitely are.)

Talanji, Jaina, Zekhan, and Anduin were all written well and sympathetically.  Maiev’s only in a couple scenes, but she felt off to me.  Nathanos was very in-character, in all his snide, sour glory.   Flynn and Mathias are great together.

The pacing was fine.  The descriptions were good, and it all felt grounded in the game world (i.e. landmarks, ambiance, the ridiculous amount of stairs in Daz’alor...)  Each of the Horde leaders got a moment or two in the spotlight.  Despite a fair amount of chapters about Anduin, Alleria, Turalyon, and Jaina, it still felt like a Horde-centric book to me.  Not that that’s a bad thing.

Prologue:  Gayness detected on page 8!  And it’s even something I kind of inadvertently predicted.  In my reaction post for Before the Storm I wrote, “ In this book alone, it would have been so easy to have that blacksmith bringing a helmet as a gift to his long-lost Forsaken husband instead of friend.”  That’s basically what we have here.  I don’t know if they were married, and neither were blacksmiths, but the Westfall moonshiner describes one of the Forsaken slain in Arathi as “the best man I ever knew and loved.”  Tada!  See how easy it was?  Add Jago x Wilmer to the growing list of LGBT rep in Azeroth.  (Even if they’re super minor characters in the long run, it’s still great to see.)

There might be some kind of parallel to be drawn between Alleria failing Anduin (by not finding/killing Sylvanas) and Nathanos failing Sylvanas (by not killing Bwonsamdi) but my brain is too overloaded from binge-reading to articulate it right now.  Both failed their king or queen, but both were also given nearly impossible tasks. 

Alleria and Turalyon are definitely being set up as antagonists.  We are clearly supposed to side with Jaina on this, and be uncomfortable (if not outright horrified) at their torture methods.  It’s especially disturbing how they use their respective void and light powers to accomplish their goals.  I mean, on one hand it’s great that both sides of the great cosmic divide can work together, and their marriage seems stronger than it was for awhile there, but yeesh...can you not torture people?  I know, ends justify the means, slippery slope, greater evil, blah blah, but still...that’s not okay.  It’s yet another sign that the Light is not necessarily good (or the void necessarily evil).

I welcome conflict within the Alliance, though.  That’s been the Horde’s thing for long enough.  Time to see how the blue side deals with its rifts.

In chapter 2 Nathanos is annoyed when a dreadtick flies by his head.  What, was it too similar to a bird for his liking?  Heh. 

All that time in Nazmir, and we didn’t get to see a single crawg!  Harumph.

It took three chapters and 39 pages to finally get something from Nathanos' perspective, and he was much more scarce going forward than I had hoped.  The bits we did get from his perspective were great and in-character, but I wanted to get into his head more.  Most of his scenes were from the POV of Sira or the troll villain instead, and while Apari was a good character I find Sira to be pretty one-dimensional. 

I kind of got paternal vibes from Nathanos toward Sira, though.  He was like, “I’ve been undead a lot longer than you; I know how to handle the bloodlust and such.  Get it out of your system at appropriate times but learn to control yourself.  There’s more to (un)life than slaughtering people.”  She herself, though, was just “Rawr, I hate everything and want to kill anything that moves.”  I mean, I get that she’s been through some traumatic stuff, but I didn’t find myself invested in her at all.

Page 42, as a bunch of trolls are about to be slaughtered:  "Hungry birds circled, expectant of a big meal, and Nathanos so hated to disappoint."  WHAT?  Nathanos wanted to do something nice for BIRDS?  I know, the phrasing fits with his dry, sarcastic sense of humor, but considering the running joke about him hating birds, it still made me go, “Huh?”

Chapter 5 (and later on, as it turns out):  Zekhan having a soft spot for kids is too precious for this world.

Page 51:  Thalyssra's eyes were "sparkling as she gazed across the room at Lor'themar."  Awwwwwww.   There was a surprising amount of ship fodder in this book overall, with Lor’themar x Thalyssra, Turalyon x Alleria, Fairshaw, and Zehkhan x Talanji all getting a moment or two (or more.) 

Chapter 6:  Anduin says, "Turalyon, take Alleria Windrunner and investigate these deaths."  You know, Alleria...YOUR WIFE?  I don't think you need to say her last name there, genius. 

While I’m being snarky about the editing, there were at least two times where the word “grieves” was used instead of “greaves.”  I spotted a couple other little things that a better editor (or one with more time, maybe it was rushed, I don’t know) would have caught.

Chapter 7:  More matter-of-fact LGBT inclusion for minor characters, this time a lesbian troll couple who want to marry.  Yes, thank you Blizzard, keep it up.

Chapter 8:  If you’re going to make the “Zappy Boy” nickname for Zekhan canon, having Bwonsamdi be the one to wink at the camera and use it was a great decision.  I can totally imagine him saying it.

We learn the name of Varok’s wife/Dranosh’s mother:  Remda.  Although I read elsewhere that the vision Zekhan saw of the Saurfang family in the afterlife was just Bwonsamdi’s B.S., it was still cool.

Chapter 13:  Nathanos wearing cologne?  Love it.  And it’s not even to cover up the rotting smell, because apparently his new body doesn’t stink like some undead; it just doesn’t smell like a living person, either, and some find it unnerving.  So he wears cologne.  That’s such a delightful little detail, and surprisingly considerate of him.

Sira complaining about bugs:  "We'll be eaten alive."  Uh no, you'd have to BE ALIVE for that to happen. Tsk.

Nathanos being called "the pale rider" makes me think of old cowboy movies.  Like, “You greenhorns better clear out; the Pale Rider is comin’ to town and there’s gonna be trouble.  Go wake up the sheriff.”  

Sira says that while on the voyage to Zandalar the dark rangers liked to tell the tale of how Nathanos was promoted to Ranger Lord by Sylvanas.  I'm surprised he lets them gossip like that!  His quests in vanilla made it seem he wanted to keep those parts of his past on the down-low, at least from the player.

Chapter 14:  Thrall's second kid is Rehze.  *blink*  Reh-zee?  Rez?  Ruh-zay?  I guess she’s not named after anyone.  After he named his son Durak (sort of after Durotan) I assumed he’d continue the pattern with kid #2.  Maybe she’s named after one of Aggra’s relatives.  (Later I read on Wowpedia that the author actually said she dislikes the “fan service” trend of naming children after other characters so she just picked a random orcish name.  I don’t think it’s fan service, because lots of real-life people do it, but okay.  Fair enough.)

Speaking of orcish names, there’s an orc page helping out the council named Gunk.  Like, what you clean out from under your fingernails after gardening.  Gunk.  LOL

Aww, that’s no fun...Maiev's wearing a cape trimmed in white fur, not daggers.  What happened to her impeccable/deadly fashion sense?

Chapter 16:  Zekhan starting to clap at Talanji's speech and then stopping and shrinking back when he realized no one else was applauding was so freaking adorable.

Chapter 17:  Fairshaw, full steam ahead!!!  Their chemistry is everything I hoped it would be.  Learning a little about Flynn’s tragic past was both fascinating and heartbreaking.  (We learned his mom’s name: Lyra Fairwind.  R.I.P.)

Chapter 18:  Proodmoore keep has a gallery with floor to ceiling oil paintings of the Proudmoore family, extended family, and beloved friends.  It now includes Anduin.  I can’t help thinking that, in a different timeline, Arthas’ portrait would have been there.

Will wonders never case?  Ji Firepaw actually gets to do stuff!!!  GASP!

"Thrall understood that to other humans Wrynn was said to be pleasing-looking, but to the orc, Anduin simply looked like a small, pink boy swallowed by clunky armor."  So it’s canon that Anduin is good-looking in-universe.  But LMAO at Thrall’s description.

Chapter 22:  From Shaw’s POV, "These odds ranked pretty low...  Maybe just above the time he had relied completely on a shoddy network of spies embedded in a cheese business."  OMG leave Elling Trias alone!  He did his best!  LOL

Shaw wanting to hang out in a mountain meadow and whittle bird calls (perhaps even with a special someone) was so touchingly normal.  That’s the kind of characterization that the books are so much better at than the game.

I actually like Bwonsamdi more after reading this.  Not that I disliked him before, but I didn’t have a strong sense of him due to not playing Horde as much in BFA.  He’s a well-done gray character:  not good, not evil, insightful but a smartass, part of the great cycle, out for himself but also taking his duties seriously (saving troll souls from the Maw.) 

I’m not entirely sure that we needed as much from Thrall’s POV as we got.  I mean, sure, he’s a familiar character with ties to a lot of others, so it was easy to drop him into situations, and his ties to Jaina made cross-faction communication easier, but he didn’t seem as relevant to the lore of Zandalar and the Shadowlands as some other characters.

Maiev seemed OOC, especially in the Stockades scene.  I know one of the themes of the book was “people change,” and I suppose I should be happy that she has a more moderate viewpoint nowadays, dialing back the Lust For Vengeance Meter from eleven to maybe a five or a six, but it didn’t feel like Maiev.  Especially because her message of “maybe don’t go overboard with this vengeance thing” was aimed at Tyrande, of all people, someone who Maiev has had quite legitimate reasons to dislike for a very, very long time.  I could see her maybe mellowing out a little in front of fellow Wardens, but Tyrande?  Eh, it didn’t feel right to me.

No surprises from Tyrande in this.  She’s still steely cold, vengeance-obsessed, consumed by anger.  Not that I blame her, but it’s not healthy.  I know we’ll be exploring her situation more in Shadowlands, so this was more of a reminder/reinforcement of where she is right now.  It was kind of funny how Thrall, Baine and Calia tried to talk to her and she just gave them the stink eye and the silent treatment, though.

I’m fine with Anduin exploring his dark side a bit more, as long as they don’t go overboard with it.  I like him as an earnest, good-hearted character.  It’s only natural to test your limits, though, especially in times of crisis.  Power corrupts, and he’s got plenty of it, both politically and magically, so I can understand Jaina and Mathias being a bit uneasy.  Add to that the increasing themes about the Light not being as benevolent as we originally assumed, and there’s potential for interesting plot there.  In the end I want Anduin to stay firmly on the side of good, empathy, compassion, etc., but a deviation into the shadows along the way isn’t a bad thing for the story.

I imagine every single person who read about Anduin sneaking off to the Lion’s Pride Inn in Goldshire smirked about that place’s reputation on certain RP realms.  I was surprised he didn’t find scantily-clad elves and draenei dancing on the furniture.  And then it turns out Jaina was there, too.  Awkward!

Why, oh why couldn’t we have had a scene with Anduin and Wrathion hanging out (incognito, of course) in a tavern?  That was their thing in MoP, and now with Anduin desperately wanting to get away from his duties for awhile and soak up some tavern ambiance it would have been perfect.  Let Anduin show off the best taverns Stormwind has to offer.  Even though Wrathion was as much a guest at the Tavern in the Mists as Anduin was, he acted like he owned the place and Anduin was his guest, so let them turn the tables and have Anduin play host.  There could be jokes about how he better not punch Wrathion again or they’ll get kicked out for starting a bar fight.  They could have still seen the young recruits, ran into Jaina, etc.  But Anduin really needs a buddy to hang out with right now.  

And you can’t tell me after Nya’lotha fell Wrathion just disappeared again and never at least visited Stormwind to tell grandiose tales about how he stabbed an Old God, it was so heroic, and he wasn’t scared at all, and those mean adventurers were so quick to believe he’d been corrupted, but he hadn’t, and did you know Azshara was there?  And then N’Zoth almost won but KERPOW LAZERS and oh Anduin you should have seen it, etc. etc. etc.

I should be used to being disappointed about Wrathion’s absence by now, but there are SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!

Sigh.  Moving on.

Being exposed to spoilers meant I wasn’t fooled by it, but it was still a deft bit of writing to have the dark rangers drink poison when cornered by Horde soldiers, then mention Nathanos having a vial in his coat, which he drinks when defeated--making the unspoiled reader assume he’s killing himself--only for it to be a kind of liquid hearthstone attuned to Sylvanas.  Had I not known that he survived the book I would have freaked out there.

So, like, was Bolvar just sitting there on the ground awkwardly eavesdropping while Sylvanas and Nathanos talked/argued?  Or did he use that time to sneak away unnoticed?  LOL

Which brings us to the epilogue that’s caused so much hand wringing and wailing from my fellow Blightrunner shippers.  It wasn’t the openly sentimental interaction between them that I had hoped for, but I honestly didn’t read it as the doom of the ship.  A bump, at worst.

[If you’re not interested in the relationship between Nathanos and Sylvanas, or if you’re one of those people who simply hate his character, you can skip the rest of this post.]

First of all, Sylvanas had just broken the Helm of Domination.  That was a hugely significant thing to do, both for her personally and in the cosmic scheme of things.  Her state of mind at that moment had to have been in a turmoil.  So if she was a little distracted and tense, I think that’s quite understandable.

Second, I saw other fans being upset that she threatened/wanted to strike him.  That’s not how I read it at all.  “Sylvanas could strike him, scream and hollow out his soul, but it would not correct the failing.”  She’s not saying she wants to do that, just that she could.  The instinct to lash out in violence is ingrained in all the undead; death knights have to do it or they go mad.  So for her mind to go there in a moment of high emotion seems natural to me.  She doesn’t actually attack him or verbally/physically threaten him.  People say things like “I could have killed my brother for eating the last slice of cake” or “I could’ve strangled my co-worker when she spoiled the ending of the movie” and it’s not literal.

Third, she doesn’t say “go away, I never want to see you again.”  She says “Go where you will, Nathanos, but do not be idle” and “I expect you will return to me with means to prevent [Bwonsamdi’s] meddling.”  So essentially she’s saying, “Fine, go home, regroup, come up with Plan B, and if it’s not possible to destroy Bwonsamdi at least concentrate on countering him.”  Also note that she still considers the operation to be theirs, not just hers:  “This was a blow, but one she felt sure they could overcome.”  That tells me she expects to work with him in the future.

Fourth, and granted this is before she learns of his failure, but she’s clearly happy to have him there when he first arrives.  “’My champion,’ Sylvanas purred.  ‘Your timing could not be better.  Tell me of your victory as we take these first steps together.’”  She wanted to cross into the Shadowlands with him at her side.  Hell, that’s bridal imagery...crossing the threshold together, and all that.  The only reason she tells him to go is because his work isn’t done and she still needs him on Azeroth.  But she explicitly says “I expect you will return to me.” 

Fifth, in the line from her POV about how “the unjust ladder of their lives must be dismantled,” the “they” she’s referring to is all of the denizens of Azeroth, true, but I think there’s also a tinge of bitterness there as she looks back on her own life, and her life with Nathanos.  Destiny has not been kind to either of them.

Sixth, she says “My path lies ahead” as she prepares to cross into the Shadowlands.  It’s a reminder of the scale of the forces she is trying to manipulate.  When faced with the potential fates of all the souls in the universe, her own regrets are insignificant.  She can’t stay on Azeroth any longer, even if some part of her does want to just chill out on a beach somewhere with Nathanos and watch his blighthounds chase seagulls.  She thinks “It would not be easy, but then, her mission required great sacrifice.”  Like leaving him behind.

Even this part can be interpreted different ways:  “She heard the note of hope in his voice, fragile as a fledgling dropped from the next.”  Putting aside the humor of comparing bird-hating Nathanos to a fledgling, we don’t get a value judgment about the comparison.  Sylvanas doesn’t think about him sympathetically, wanting to protect him in a vulnerable moment, but she also doesn’t think, “Geez, what a pathetic weakling.”  It goes back to that bit in Warbringers about how she can’t kill hope.  And she can’t.  Here, again, no matter how bleak things are, no matter how displeased she is at his failure, he still has hope.  And she needs that, whether she believes it or not.

When she “flicked her fingers, as if ridding herself of a speck of muck” that can be interpreted as her thinking of him in a derogatory way, but she was also talking about Bwonsamdi in the same breath so I can choose to believe that’s who she was being dismissive of.

I don’t know.  I get that some of the language is discouraging.  She describes him as having “blubbering lips” and she’s definitely not happy with him.  But these two have been through a lot, and their bond has remained strong.  I’m sure this isn’t their first fight, or the first time he’s disappointed her.  This isn’t the end for them.  Just another bump on a very long highway they’ve traveled together.

...

OMG this has turned into a monster of a post, rambling all over the place.  I hope it’s coherent enough to follow.  I’m just in lore overload at the moment (and enjoying every second.)  I know I’m forgetting things I wanted to talk about, too, but I’m going to go ahead and post it as it is.

[guerrilla-operator]

I’ve followed you across a number of blogs and i’ve noted there’s a constant theme of your love life being a bit of a wreck. Is there any particular reason for that or is it just bad luck or something?

Lol yeesh, it’s that apparent yeah?

Yeah it’s not a strong suit of mine. I have a bad habit of giving too much when I shouldn’t and when I should just focus on myself I focus on others. I’m also just an incredibly insecure person and usually just get fucked over so I do what my fellow Irishmen do, which is retreating and bottling my emotions up.

A lot of it stems from this girl screwing with my head for years in late high school and most of college and I just stopped taking that kinda thing at face value after I got over that. I’ll fall down the hole every now and then but it’s usually just doomed and it’s me putting too much faith in it. I go nuts, i get constantly wrecked for a month or two, then I stop drinking for an extended period and the cycle usually starts all over again once I find someone new and go through it. Half the time I just overthink and ruin shit by being a small souled bug man about to whip out a sniper rifle on the telephone pole. Whatever I guess.

I’ve kinda been going through it currently because I’m again convincing myself somehow that the girl I’m seeing isn’t actually into me and I kinda saw something that I probably shouldn’t have (again, I’m a deep insecure weirdo and I open Pandora’s box too often) so I’m probably gonna stop initiating conversations and see if she even cares because life is good when you stop caring. This is after a string of shit going wrong with one girl who ghosted me because she didn’t feel a connection (and I had to force that out of her) and probably losing the girl I love forever due to being that small souled bug man on the telephone pole with the sniper rifle and worrying about her and not giving her space when she needed it, but hey, ya live and learn I guess?

This is long and rambling, but basically relationships make me want to put a bullet in my head for the most part because I’m never sure if I’m doing anything wrong or if it’s just the people I’m into.

[kneekeyta]

Nikita! Fellow Emu who writes for the fandom here (we're mutuals actually) and I just have a few things to say. 1. Loving all the new works you've been dropping and very excited for the previews and sneaky peeks. Thank you for keeping my shipper heart alive! 2. Wanted to say good luck with your surgery and hope your family drama improves. xx 3. And lastly, a serious question: where, oh WHERE, do you get your inspo/ideas for all your wonderful fics? I have major writers block. Seriously, where?

Hello, my dear RINN shipper! 

Firstly, I am happy you are enjoying my latest ramblings about these 2 dickheads in love! As well as the sneak peeks, which I’m hoping to make some sort of progress with those. LOL it’s hard when my mind is fluttering about from one idea to the next, or remembering a fic that I left abandoned and try to get back into that one! yeesh rinn is tiring ;) 

 that abandoned fic is about rockstar finn and his secret kid with Rae. 

As for my surgery I’ll let you guys know how it goes. As of right now they said they wont have to shave my head, but I’ll wait to see when its all over. I might be rocking an undercut in the near future. *shrugs* And thanks, yes, the only drama I need is in fic! If only life were that simple, eh. lol. 

Now as for where I get ideas, and inspiration from, well.... sometimes it comes from reading other fics, sometimes I’m blow drying my hair and something will come to me. (and i say blow drying my hair because that is exactly what I was doing when I thought of the Twin!Finn fic which I can’t remember the name of sadly) lol

For the most part I will say its usually a specific line of dialogue. For instance, my fic, Like Animals in the Dark, that came about because I had this one line of dialogue “You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” and as I was like right, that sets a specific tone and environment, so I just thought about instances where it would get to the point that, Finn would say that, and well, that’s how that fic happened. 

So, yeah, most of my fics are built around one specific line or scene and usually its not even an important part in the fic, like at all. It’s just something one of them say or something that happens, like the fic could live with out it, but in reality I would have never written the fic with out it. If that makes sense. 

I find that with writers block looking through prompts help. Sometimes I’ll read through several until I find one that jumps out at me. Then I’ll create the world around that one particular line or scene depending on the type of prompt it is. 

Also, if you prefer a specific trope, i.e. friends to lovers, bed sharing etc.. 

I suggest reading fanfic with those elements, so you can get an idea of what to do different or make it more exciting. Maybe you read a coffee shop fic where A adds an extra sugar to a customers coffee and B sees the oops face A makes and teases them about it later. But in yours when that happens the customer develops some insane super power and now A and B are trying to figure out how in the HELL that happened. 

I’m just rambling now, but I’m always here to chat! Bouncing ideas around with someone helps me a lot! Ask @lily-pop-2 I’m always sending her messages about ideas for fics and such. Its a big help to talk things out, helps me see clearer. 

I hope you are well, fellow emu! And thank you for asking me how my crazy fic mind works! I feel honored! I hope I helped a little?

xx

[starvinbohemian]

The Rooftop- Revisited

Paulson’s dance scene... yeah, I transcribed this one, too lol.

Their chemistry was perfect. They were them in the exact way that I love them best. Romantic, sweet, nostalgic, and just a bit sappy. And full of staaaares.

Though, now, it’s official: Paul and Sonny each have terrible taste in music. Combined, they have THE WORST taste in music. I already knew this about Sonny, but Paul, my man, you let me down.

But it’s okay, because I am always here for hearing more about that San Francisco rooftop, and we now know that these romantic nerds both remember the damn song that was playing when they met.

(Never mind that the song was terrible, and Sonny even knew that at one point. Paul actually managed to make Sonny’s music taste worse.)

Paulson, dancing:

Paul, pleased: “Did you ask them to play this song?”

Sonny, teasing: “When would I have done that?”

Paul, laughing: “Do you remember this song? Right? You remember?”

Sonny: “Mmn-hmn.”

Paul: “It was playing that night on the rooftop in San Francisco. First night we met? We talked about how much we loved it.”

[Paul humored Sonny as he rambled about aliens at Machu Picchu, and Sonny humored Paul about his music taste. God, Sonny actually judged someone else’s music taste. Yeesh. The thirst had to of been real, because wow, guys.]

[Also never mind that the party has now become a “rooftop party,” which kinda, uh, complicates how these two managed to steal away to make out on the roof, if, well, everyone else was up there, too.]   

Sonny: “How much you loved it. You played it constantly.”

Paul: “It grew on you. Come on. Admit it.”

Sonny, adorably: “Uh... okay. I do like it now. I do like it.”

Paul, also adorably: “See? You like it. I’m a good influence.”

Sonny: “The best.”

[Intense, sweet Paulson stare.]

Paul: “I mean, that moment feels like such a long time ago. I never would have thought that we’d be here together... as a couple. Nothing else I could have ever asked for.” [Aw, Paul.]

Sonny: “Me either. There’s no place I’d rather be, than with you, right now.” [Suck it, Will.]

Paul: “Actually, there’s one place I can think of that I’d rather be.”

[Another intense, sexy Paulson stare.]

Paul: “Come.”

[ADORABLE exit, where they’re grinning and trying to hold hands but can’t because Paul wants to open the door for Sonny, and Sonny rushes passed but looks back as he goes with an excited grin.]

[Yaaaassss.]

[trashtfcanons]

MTMTE Rodimus, Swerve, and Brainstorm coming to realize they have a crush on a human? How do they react, and what would they do after realizing?

Truth be told anon I’m a person who believes first encounters are the key to any crush - update: oh boy these are such trash anon I’m sorry LOL cri;; - update update: THESE ARE TERRIBLE WHAT TO HECK

Rodimus

Rodimus could not and still cannot process it properly to this day. When he saw you for the first time, you were caught after days of cat and mouse with the crew. Upon being informed of your condition, Rodimus rushed with Megatron and Magnus to the med bay to question you and to plan their next steps. You were dishevelled and dehydrated from going days without food or water, yet to him somehow you seemed to glow, like you were made of fiery energy, radiating pure light. He stared at you in awe for what seemed like an eternity, every other sound and sight out of focus and distant, as if in a trance. He remained like that, fixated on you, until a large hand on his shoulder snapped him out of it. Megatron gave him a questioning look, but Rodimus just waved him off, too confused himself to explain. He had encountered many humans before while on Earth; he had observed them, hid amongst them in disguise, but never in his time there had he encountered someone like you.

He avoided you for weeks, and if you were around wouldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t understand why, but when you were around he felt extremely aware of himself; his posture, his mannerisms, the way he spoke, it was terribly overwhelming. Rodimus went to the only other bot on the ship that could offer any wisdom on this situation without judging him too harshly. He told Megatron about everything, the weird glow, the weird feelings, theorizing that you were not in fact a human but another species in disguise with ulterior motives. At first Megatron was shocked, and the next thing Rodimus knew he was watching the former warlord laugh until tears ran down his face as he fell from his chair.  

Swerve

Swerve liked you from the start, he had so many questions he needed answers for. About Earth mostly – ‘Friends’ had so many references he couldn’t understand, and seeing you walk into the room on off-world cinema night at Rewind’s after hearing all the rumours about you? You were a Primus-send. Halo and everything. He approached you very excitedly, and began speaking at the speed of light without warrant, which made you jump, startled by the sudden encounter. Chromdome, who noticed your distress, walked over and put a hand on Swerve’s shoulder; “Maybe try not to scare the only other life form on the ship that has the potential to like those terrible shows as much as you, Swerve?” he said, gesturing to you. Chromedome having spoken in Cybertronian, you stood confused as the foreign words seem to function like an off-switch, immediately calming the rambling bot down. Swerve turns to you doe-eyed and at a much more understandable pace, apologizes. He looked so much like a scolded puppy, you couldn’t help but smile and giggle a little bit behind your hand before accepting his apology and introducing yourself. Swerve found your smile oddly contagious, and a wide, lopsided grin took over his own face as he introduced himself to you in return. 

You both stood there after a couple moments in awkward silence before you mustered up the courage to finally speak: “I-I was going to ask Chromedome or Pipes… but um, would you mind if I sat with you? I figure with this audience I’m going to need a little boost to see the screen.” And at that moment, Swerve knew he had a terrible crush on you.

Brainstorm

Brainstorm could definitely explain why he was feeling this way about you, it was science, pure science, nothing but science. He had already created a new equation to explain it, and tested it 42 times… 43 now.

^ ^ ^

You had entered his lab the other day, accompanied by the mood board of crossness that was Ultra Magnus, who had been extra grouchy lately thanks to being assigned to ‘babysitting’ duty. Brainstorm had asked to see you, upon hearing that none of his traps had worked but they still managed to catch you, he wanted to take this rare opportunity to make updates to his holomatter avatar software using a live model subject. You looked around with wonder at the vast lab, every tabletop you could see perched on Ultra Magnus’ hand littered with interesting looking contraptions and devices. Brainstorm smirked under his mask as he watched you wear an expression like a “kid in a candy shop” as had heard in off-world cinema. 

Before he could even introduce himself, Magnus pointed a very large and very stern finger at his face. “Brainstorm, you know I don’t have to tell you that your certainly NOT allowed to experiment in any way on them, you gave Rodimus your word that this would be exclusively a scan for program updates and accuracy–“ Ultra Magnus was cut off as the scientist threw up his hands exasperatedly “YEESH Big M I haven’t even looked at them for more than a nano-klik and you’re already locking me up for murder.” Brainstorm says, gesturing wildly as he spoke with dramatic inflections. 

Ultra Magnus’ face seemed to scrunch up even more in annoyance, opening his mouth to release all of Primus’ fury upon the cheeky mech when he was again interrupted, but this time by a small laugh coming from his open palm. Brainstorm leaned around the giant hand to watch you giggle, which quickly turned into a gut-splitting cackle. You don’t know why you found it so funny, but the whole situation seemed so ridiculous to you that you just didn’t know what to do besides laugh like you were mad. Ultra Magnus stared, dumbfounded as you wiped away a tear and mumbled something inaudible to yourself before he gently placed you on the tabletop. Brainstorm snorted and rested his servos on his hips “At least someone appreciate my top tier humour around here.” Ultra Magnus made a noise of disagreement, pointed two fingers to his own eyes, then to Brainstorm and back. “No funny business Brainstorm, I’m watching you, and so help me Primus if you–“ 

You pick up a box with a metal rod on the end of it and hold it up for the two to see “Hey, what’s this do?” you ask, Brainstorm turns to you and in a panic reaches out to grab it as you press a large red button on the side of the cube. “NO NO NO OH MY PRIM–“

You spent what seemed to be a half-hour in Brainstorm’s lab, hearing him talk about his accomplishments as galactic-class scientist and his mutterings about perfecting hair as a full body scan was performed on you while you stood in a small glass chamber, arms outstretched. Between his boasts and Ultra Magnus grunts as he stared at the charred remains of an incinerated door on the side of the lab, you ask questions about Brainstorm’s work. You left no stone unturned, you asked about every device on the table near you, you asked about the “time-traveling incident” as Rodimus referred to it, you even asked about his theory work. He paused and turned away from the terminal he was working at to face you, his expression quizzical. “Why are you so interested in all this? I mean I totally get that you humans have super primitive technology and all of this must seem super –” You furrow your brows at him, clearly offended. He holds up his hands in surrender and turns back to the console as you mutter something he doesn’t quite catch, he turns back with an eyebrow raised “What?” he asks, watching your face, for a moment matching Ultra Magnus’, soften a little. “Because iscooegues…” you mumble. Brainstorm leans in real close, the visible part of his face clearly smug. “Speak up you–“ You’ve had enough of his teasing, when he gets close enough you yell: “BECAUSE IT’S COOL YOU GIANT METAL NERD.” The bot started with a surprised yelp and fell backwards onto the floor. You snicker in triumph.

Ever since then Brainstorm has been trying figure out why he can’t stop thinking about you with …oddly amorous feelings, rather than ones of distaste

[shirtlesssammy]

15x1 Bullet Point Rambles

We’re BACK! Kisses!

A Bob Seger intro? Thanks for making us melancholy already, show

Welcome to the end, babes. I’d cry but I’m too busy watching this zombie fight interspersed with Jack’s empty eye sockets (yeesh)

They make for a crypt as a temporary safe haven. Good plan!

HEY look at that intro art! Was that an eyeball in there? Goo? Faaaascinating

It’s an odd mourning scene in the mausoleum with fighters outside and a body to mourn inside. Sam asks if Cas can heal Jack (Boris: Sam just…no bby)

Dean ranting about Chuck and his tendency to breaking into song is golden

Sam hears water and they plan to head underground to the sewers. Alas, there was another monster there.

Jack STANDS THE FUCK UP in the middle of the room. He’s got empty eye sockets… Cas realizes that Jack’s body is controlled by a demon. OH MAN

Belphegor the demon puts on Weekend-at-Bernie’s sunglasses to cover his empty sockets. OMG

There are newspapers in Hell? Because that’s a delightful thought. I bet they’re nothing but opinions pages.

Belphegor is a by-the-book lackey who just wants Hell to return to the way it was (Reminds me of some angels.)

“We are not twinsies” intoned in Cas’s voice is pretty much all I need

Look at Cas, always happy to bleed for the Winchesters

Belphegor’s spell…worked? It falls quiet outside and the bodies are all prone again. (What kind of spell was that really?)

Cut to Bloody Mary trying to tear her way out of cell phones and mirrors, to kill a young girl. Way to be tech savvy now, GURL

During the break we talk about Chuck’s vengeance against the Winchesters. Bringing back ghosts they’d destroyed is a way for Chuck to show how futile their efforts have been, when they usually lean on the people they saved and the baddies they defeated as a way to justify their lives

“Ghostpocalypse ™”

Contain the ghosts to buy some time. USE GHOST BUSTER PACKS and a firehouse containment system is my hot tip

They find the Woman in White murder scene. Sam flashes through it and realizes it might be the one they sent to Hell. Sam looks so stressed, poor lamb

Cut to the creepy clown hunting a mom and her child and my KID IS THIS AGE AND I FIND THIS VERY STRESSFUL

Cas is so creeped out by Belphegor wearing Jack’s body he has to leave the car. I feel for him.

People in the past worshiped a giant rock that looked like a huge penis. I can’t EVEN with this show. Everyone’s handsome, Belphegor notes. Especially Dean. IKR????

Belphegor asks who Jack was. “He was our kid. Kinda,” Dean replies. ;_;

We are appreciating Andrew Dabb setting up the dominoes in this episode

OH THANK GOODNESS the kid and mom made it

Sam gets to kill a clown so we’re pretty excited about this

Don’t worry, Cas whips out the ol’ shotgun and blasts away the clown. MMMMMMMmmmm noice

“Move your exquisite ass, please,” Rowena makes Dean say. LOL that’s our queen

Hey, is anyone else really suspicious about this demon with all these convenient spells ready to go? Demon ex machina?

HOLY SHIT Belphegor compliments Dean on his torture skills back in Hell. “It was art.”

Fuck

Emotions

Apparently Michael’s cage is open and traumatized Michael is just sitting there.

Cas heals Sam in front of these poor civilians. Sam introduces himself as “just as a guy” who, you know, “shot God.”

Oh no, Sam’s still having troubles with his equalizer gun bullet hole. There’s an energy Cas has never felt before and he can’t heal it. OH NOES

The woman in white finds the sheriff. The clown’s ghost is still around. This is….tricky business

(Does this mom remind anyone else of Jennifer Gray from Ferris Bueller? And Belphegor’s a nod to Weekend at Bernie’s? Just me?)

Sam accidentally shoots Cas while they’re fighting ghosties. “You shot me,” Cas complains about this minor inconvenience

Belphegor starts the spell while they fight off this little gang of ghosts. The barrier’s erected around the town and then it’s time to run

Sam tells the clown to shut up from the safety of the other side of the barrier. I feel that that was very cathartic to him!

HEY speaking of clown cars, there are six people in the Impala right now. Who else can we pick up and jam in there?

The little girl thanks Sam (a reason for our team to continue and not give up, mayhaps?)

Dean is SO COLD to Cas, though he DID ask how he was. Belphegor is….not helping. (Also I kind of love him? So snarky.)

Sam tells Dean that the bullet doesn’t hurt. SAM you dirty liar. Dean calls back to their childhood and tells a knock knock joke. Awww look at these brothers.

Dean questions his free will. “We were just rats in a maze.” Dean bby. He questions saving people. He no doubt remembers his past torture, the literal hell he endured

Sam thinks that Chuck is out of the picture now and that he cut ties with not only the Winchesters, but the whole universe. He thinks Chuck headed off to go make a NEW universe (which explains this whole multiverse / multiple authorial drafts concept)

Trunk closes. “We’ve got work to do.” NICE SYMMETRY we approve

[sorrowsflower]

Okay, I finally got around to making this. Well, this’ll be a long one, ‘cause anyone who’s seen my posts knows I tend to ramble. I was tagged by these awesome peeps: @francesca-wayland, @equusgirl, @thestorywelovebest, and @adler-holmes

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1: Are you named after someone? According to family legend, I was named after a cute little girl with blond pigtails that my Mom saw in a magazine, which is why I am a Filipina with a Russian name. My middle name is from a saint, whose birthday was supposed to coincide with mine, but I came out early (story of my life: I never do what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to).

2: When was the last time you cried? Too personal, sorry. Moving on...

3: Do you like your handwriting? Yeah. Sometimes looks like handwriting from an old-timey journal. Some people say it should be a computer font type.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? I never really adjusted to the American diet (’cause I’m a picky eater), so given the choice, I will always eat rice and Filipino dishes for lunch.

5: Do you have kids? No, but I do have a baby girl I loved in the orphanage I used to work in whom I still consider “mine” in a way. Even though she has forever parents now, I think of her every now and then. Also, I have a baby cousin that I am co-parenting with other cousins. It takes a village!

P.S. If I do have a son, I shall name him Nero. So, if you come across a weird kid named Nero in the future, he’s probably mine.

6: if you were another person, would you be friends with you? I honestly have no idea. I like to think I would, but given how weird I am, I probably wouldn’t.

7: Do you use sarcasm? What do you think?

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yup. They’re probably somewhere back in there. Wait, let me look. Aaaahhh...

9: Would you bungee jump? Lol, I get dizzy just riding a roller coaster. Once, maybe. Just to experience it.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? I don’t really eat cereal (again, picky eater), give me a traditional breakfast of garlic-fried rice, eggs, and Filipino sausage, yum.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? If we’re talking sneakers, nope. I like to slip them on and off quickly.

12: So you think you’re a strong person? I think everyone is strong, in their own way. There are many kinds of strength and each are tested in different ways. So, yes.

13: What is the first thing you notice about people? Usually the eyes. Eyes can tell a lot about a person. Then facial expression.

14: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? My stomach rolls. Sometimes I feel like the Michelin tire mascot when I sit down, yeesh.

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Pink shorts and bare feet. I’m in bed.

19: What are you listening to right now? Magic Man by Heart, and Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf. I love both, one is so undeniably 70′s rock and roll twisted sexy, the other is a warbly classic.

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I have no idea. Maybe something in the turquoise or teal department. 

21: Favorite smell? As a kid, it was the Dama de Noche (night-blooming jasmine) from our backyard, I always stayed out late just so I could smell the flowers. Even now, my favorite scents are jasmine-based. Or citrus-based.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Um... the apartment manager. Glamorous.

23: Favorite sport to watch? Do cheer squad competitions count?

24: Hair color? Jet black.

25: Eye color? Looks black from afar, but up close, dark brown with dark rings.

26: Do you wear contacts? My eyes are too sensitive and get irritated by them, so I’m stuck with my glasses until I can get LASIK or something

27: Favourite food to eat? Filipino home cooking, no question. Though Vietnamese food is a close second, and Italian, mmmm. Cajun cooking is also excellent.

28: Scary movies or comedy?

A healthy dose of each. 

29: Last movie you watched? 

A double feature of The Passengers and Underworld Blood Wars. Semira is my new baby and her wardrobe is my wishlist.

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Pink with ‘Hollywood’ in fuschia letters. I swear, I don’t usually wear this much pink.

31: Summer or winter? I prefer summer in the winter, and winter in the summer.

32: Hugs or kisses? Both.

33: What book are you currently reading? Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Both are exquisite in very different ways.

34: Who do you miss right now?

My Mom.

35: what is on your mouse pad? I’m using a laptop right now.

36: what is the last tv program you watched? Murder, She Wrote with a client. Angela Lansbury is a gift.

37: What is the best sound? Off the top of my head, I love the violin, the cello, the electric guitar and the sax. Can’t think of anything else right now... Oh, wait! Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice! And Lara Pulver’s!

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? ... Led Zeppelin. Lol. Actually, I don’t subscribe to just one band or just one genre. I listen to whatever appeals to me: classical, rock, gospel, indie, Broadway, jazz... except country (not too big on that).

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Well, I traveled from the Philippines to the States, but hopefully that’s not the extent of my travels. I have extreme wanderlust.

40: Do you have a special talent? I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades (though I’m really not, I’m just pretentious ;p).

41: Where were you born? In a cinema (lol, almost). Which would explain a lot.

Thanks for tagging me!

Okay, I’m terrible at tagging people, and I don’t know who’s been tagged already, so I’ll just tag @elinorx, @lyrangalia, @randombiochemist, @bitchlettearyamaryne and anyone else who wants to do this :D