#yeeah idk LMAO

[pixelatedraindrops]

A blush/cry template but its of a higher temperature...

...brilliant hehe 🌡️😈

I had to try it.

Template

[catcze]

HELLO IF U SAW MY LAST POST NO U DID NOT MOMENT OF DRUNKNESS I JUST REALIZED THAT W8 IM GONNA BE BUSY & WEARING LOTS OF CLAWS IN THE UPCOMING WEEKS NO WAY IN HELL CAN I DO COMMS 😭😭 IM FORGETFUL & DRUNK PLS IGNORE HAHSDJANKS

[genericpuff]

maybe this is just me being cynical of webtoon readers but i need to say that some of them really are that dumb and lacking media literacy that i can in total honesty say they would have screamed in the comment section about perse being dead - not LO readers specifically actually, but the top comments i see on some other webtoons.. phew. In some webtoons it is also made very clearly and explicitly by the creator that X is happening and then i scroll to the comment section and people are all asking 'wait is it just me or might X be happening???' 'omg guys i have a theory that X is happening'. And while that's frustrating the way RS tried to pre-emptively avoid that is honestly so hilarious to me, i am just in awe of it. It immediately undercuts all the tension of how the chapter ended and yes it's condescending as hell but it's sadly a sentiment i actually understand (tho i never would have actually done it that way.. like i think if she really wanted to make that author's note, maybe write it in a comment IF seeing there really was confusion among readers) but that chapter ending is just peak comedy to me, 5 out of 5 stars, no notes.

yeeah i don't wanna be a dick to the kids who are reading these comics and just having fun in their respective fandoms, but i've also made it a general rule of thumb to stay the HELL out of the webtoon comment sections because they're a whole other level of unhinged that i don't wanna touch with a ten foot pole LMAO

an LO-specific example that was so freaking hilarious to me wasn't even in the webtoon comment section but had the same vibe - someone in the main subreddit (the one that's closed now) asking in the season 2 finale discussion thread, "wait when did persephone eat the pomegranate???" like. that was literally the cliffhanger from the week before my guy. as much as i dunk on rachel's work for being visibly rushed, it's gotta suck to put in all the effort it takes to release comic episodes on a weekly basis just for your fans to not even stop and look at the art you've created. like damn it's no wonder the fans don't notice the glaring plotholes going on in the writing, they aren't actually reading it TT-TT idk if the way these communities engage with these comics is the cause of this, but it definitely makes it feel like some of these comics are being written like buzzfeed articles whose only goal is being as 'consumable' as possible without any actual depth, just "keep people fastpassing". which they absolutely do u.u

[lake-lady]

Some guy with the strongest fucking Chicago accent is yelling directions at someone outside my window

[moved-heating-your-rubbish]

Yeeah

drawing muscular people >>> drawing any other bodytype

her tattoos killed me I'll never recover (the texts are random Latin prayers , E Nomine's songs , random words and polish creepypasta rap lmao)

somehow my scanner from 2003 didn't die on her

y'all ain't getting uncensored version because no

idk what to add I may colour it in digital one day but I still have that Iscariot piece to finish (I hate my tempo fr)

[tommystonsils]

@awesomgrlgr8job tagged me DAYS ago and i kept forgetting to reply omg sorry!! ack thank you!!! 💗💗💗💗

some songs i’ve had on repeat lately!

Barbara Manning - Joed Out

The Church - Metropolis

Björk - Big Time Sensuality

Dr. Feelgood - She Does It Right

Teena Marie - Lovergirl (LMAO)

Talking Heads - Life During Wartime

CCR - Green River (and Sinister Purpose lol)

Also the Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy theme?? I’ve been listening to it back to back to back the last couple days. ((luxury comedy oooh yeeah))

Since I’m so late to the game I’m tagging whoever wants to do it bc idk if everyone’s already done it lol!!

[ditttiii]

🦔 they’re Ancona bantams they’re meant to flighty birds but mine are pretty friendly (they run FAST though) the parent don’t like being touched but they will follow me their father is the one who escaped today I’m now considering naming him Julius Caesar cause he needs to explore everything the mums name is Daisy, the other chicks are white and black standard size Aussie Langshans we have bantam black ones but their eggs weren’t fertile this time so no chicks

okay i had to look em up coz i m dumb but woah they look goodd. (also yeeah their long, thin feet look like they’d movee quickkk) 

lmao, i remember reading that play in English class and trying to not doze off 🥱 i can’t with classics. and oo daisyy! that’s a bright, pretty name. sounds fitting!! nd oo i looked up d Aussie breed too and dey look badass~ (idk y all this time i was imagining the chicks to be yellow 😂 i m an idiot)

[anarchyarson]

About Me Meme

Last beverage: Raspberry Tea Last phone call: Alllstate Last text: sent - “i see where your priorities lie. that’s fine” received - "i’ll send you birthday money next week, sorry!” Last song: Loch Lomond by Frank Tichelli Last time you cried: oh shit idk

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: Nope Been cheated on: yes Kissed anyone and regretted it: yes Lost someone special: yes Been depressed: manically lmao List your three favorite colors: black, gold, lime green

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: Yep Fallen out of love: Nah Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah Kissed anyone on your FB list: Yes How many people do you know on your FB list: All Of Them Kissed a stranger: Yes Drank hard liquor: Hell Yes Lost glasses/contacts: Yep Had sex on a first date: Yeah Broken someone’s heart: Yeah Been arrested: Not yet Turned someone down: Yeeah Cried when someone died: Yeah but like weeks after the fact Fallen for a friend: Nope, but like all my friends are attractive so they all cute 

Do you have any pets: Tortie cat named Casserole and a German Shepherd named Luka Do you want to change your name: I’ve changed it like three times, i’m good with the current one What did you do for your last birthday party: party? i don’t remember, i think it was at the skating rink. my last birthday I went to see Us and got a guitar

What time did you wake up this morning: I work overnight so i technically went to bed at 6;30am, woke up to kids screaming outside my window around 1pm.

What were you doing at midnight last: working lmao Something you can’t wait for: Blerdcon 2020 Last time you saw your mother: Oh shit IDK lmao. Christmas?? One thing you wish you could change about your life: EVERYTHING, my hair color rn? Where i’m living What are you listening to right now: mentally i’m listening to an Everything Everything song, but also my friend talking Have you ever talked to a Tom: Multiple What’s getting on your nerves: Life, the world, everything lmao Most viewed webpage: Tumblr, “Where’s My Tax Refund” Nickname: Jas, Lyric, Bitch, lmao Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Aries College: nope Hair color: Dark Brown, hints of Burgundy, right now i’ve got greenish-blue tips that are growing right now Long or short: Long Height: 5’8″ Do you have a crush on someone: I m lowkey always crushing platonically cause all my friends are hot What do you like about yourself: Personality Tattoos: one on the inside of my right forearm, my left forearm, overwatch tattoo on my right thigh, Grimmjow tattoo on my back, aries constellation on my tiddy,  Right or left handed: Right-handed First piercings: Ears First best friend: @jrcupid​ First sport you joined: Soccer  First vacation: The beach i think?? First pair of trainers: i don’t remember Eating: Don’t know what that is? Drinking: a liter of Strawberry Kiwi Snapple About to: type, go back to bed lmao Waiting for: something to happen, i guess

Your future: Want kids: N OPE Get married: Nope Career: Artist/Designer

Which is better: Lips or eyes: Eyes or Lips Hugs or kisses: Kisses Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: older Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous  Nice stomach or nice arms: ARMS OR STOMACHS THEY’RE BOTH GOOD SHIT Loud or sensitive: Loud Hook-up or relationship: Hook-Up  Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble Maker

Do you believe in: Yourself: NO but also fuck yeah Miracles: yes Love at first sight: yes Heaven: something after death but idk what Santa Claus: Never did Kisses on first dates: Yeah i guess

Randoms: Age: 24, 25 in two days Favorite song: Loch Lomond by Frank Tichelli Favorite fandom: Horror fandom tbh Favorite animals: Whalesharks and Black Bears

[pr0misejm]

{tagged by @rosytteok } im bored so lets get it babey

favorite season: idk how to describe it but like the transition between spring and summer when its not too hot but its still beautiful outside and the flowers are blooming

hair color: light brown

favorite animals: dogs because my boo boo tucker is the chunkiest sweetest boy eVer

favorite fictional characters: oOoh uh all of the characters from howl’s moving castle, the main three from strong girl bong soon (yeah they’re people but they’re not Real snsnsn), and carswell thorne aka the biggest shithead but also a softie from the lunar chronicles

do you have a crush on tumblr?: YEAH @yoonsgiggle I WUV U

played any sports: i mean like..... i did track...... but thats it lol

describe yourself in aesthetic: oh girl...... im a contradiction so i vary between soft pretty things (soft pastels, picnics, the ocean when it sparkles in the sunlight, those aesthetic pictures of uneaten food that literally look so good) and grungy shit (streetwear, late nights out, the stars in the countryside where you can see them so clearly, tattoos, piercings)

put your playlist on shuffle and list the first five (four but i didn't count lol) songs: i have So many playlists so i’ll just do my k-pop one -- piece of peace by our hope, our angel, try again by d.ear and jaehyun, touch by nct 127, tempo by exo, begin by bunny boy

ever had a song or poem written about you?: lmao nOpe

when was the last time you played air guitar?: probably 10 minutes ago are u kidding

celebrity crush?: besides the Obvious (the love of my life park jimbleton), I rlly like tom holland, dylan o’brien, park hyungsik, jisoo, zendaya..... hell yeah

what sounds do you hate? love?: i deTest the sound of forks scraping against teeth, the sound of drills and the train whistle, and i love soft pianos, haechan’s beautiful high notes in beautiful time, my best friends laughter, and the wind in the trees

do you believe in ghosts?: hell yeah babey, my best friend is the shane to my ryan

do you believe in aliens?: yeah !! if we exist here and theres hundreds of other galaxies, why wouldn't there be some kind of extraterrestrial life?

do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?: yeeah and no thank goodness

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: uhhhhhhhhh????? maybe when i pulled my hamstring after running the 200 in track???

do you like the smell of gasoline?: sometimes yes actually which is weird

do you have any obsessions right now?: besides the obvious (literally a blog dedicated to what im obsessed with), ive been re-watching a bunch of jenna marbles, I've been getting a little more into fashion, and theres this youtuber that i like named ondo and she has these real cute vlogs that she does and idk its cute and i love it

do you hold grudges?: it kind of depends ?? like it really depends on the situation

alright bröthers let us go and esketit @yoonsgiggle @sjtual @mikrokosmo @birthofvcnus @rainyymaybe @lumarkle @trash-tzar

[crying-over-supersoldiers]

tag games

As usual, I’m a piece of  💩 and was tagged for tag games and i just keep saying ‘oh these are fun! I’ll do it later!’ and here we are...

Also, someone tagged me to post lockscreens? I know because I remember seeing it on my dash but never got a notification??? so yeeah (it’s a pic of me with my sister so I aint posting it lmao) 

Pretty sure @colonelshootingstar tagged me for a music thingy so I’ll randomly pick 5 songs I’m currently listening ashjdasd I’m sorry:

1. Mars-Sleeping at last

2. Breathing oxigen-Zayde Wolfe (tbh that name is stupid but it’s a good song)

3. Revolution- Unsecret

4. Attention- Light Years Away

5. Listen- Beyonce

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Answer 20/Tag 20

Rules: Answer 20 questions.Tag 20 people you’d like to know. ✨🖖😊✨

I was tagged in this one by the sweet  @agent-sousas yaay.

Name: Mariana

Zodiac Sign: I’m a self proclaimed Aries

Height: 160, I aint got time for inches

Languages Spoken: Espanish, English, I know random words in German and I’m proud so I’m saying it.

Favorite Fruits: Grapes, tunas (?? idk if there’s an english word)

Favorite Scent: Clean laundry, sweet smells overall.

Favorite Color: Black, navy blue

Favorite Animals: Dogs, bears? I guess?

Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate: Coffee

Favorite Sweets: Chocolate, I’m a chips and snacks kinda person. OOOHHHH GUMMY BEARS! 

Dream Trip: Idk man anywhere is good as long as I travel

Favorite Fictional Characters: this is so hard! but like... you can see that on my blog? Bucky, Steve, Namor, Shiro. I can’t think of anyone else.

When Was This Blog Created? like,... 2015? I think?

Last Movie I Saw: Ocean’s 8

Song I’ve Had On Repeat: Mars-Sleeping at last, 

Favorite Holiday: CHRISTMAS. YEESS SAMEE!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

This or That

@insert--sarcastic-comment-here tagged me so now she’s contractually obligated to do the previous games asjdhsd

1. Summer or Winter

2. Pizza or Pasta

3. Black or White

4. Comedy or Horror

5. Hugs or Kisses (idk man both can be good/awkward)

6. Shorts or Pants

7. Night or Day

8. Bath or Shower

9. Cats or Dogs

10. Plain or Patterned (i’ve been wearing a lot of graphic tshirts tho)

11. Beauty or Brains (I’ll admit i’m a superficial person but BOTH are good)

12. Coffee or Tea

13. Concert or Play (I’ve never ever been to a concert)

14. Fiction or Nonfiction

15. Elevator or Escalator (elevators are my one fear)

16. Pork or Chicken

17. Sleeping or Eating

18. Hot or Cold

19. Formal or Casual

20. Pen or Pencil

21. Sweet or Spicy

22. Jet or Ship

23. High school or College

24. Walking or Jogging

25. Alone or in a Crowd

26. Love or Money (imma be honest with you here)

27. Mammal or Reptile

28. Bills or Coins

29. Straight or Curly Hair

30. Drunk or High (???? drunk?? I guess?)

31. Married or Single

32. Ninjas or Pirates

33. Zoo or Aquarium

34. Flowers or Chocolate

35. Lawyer or Doctor

36. Car or House

37. Angels or Demons

38. Christmas or Halloween

39. Slippers or Barefoot

40. Pool or Beach

41. Truth or Dare

42. Blond or Brunette

43. Slippers or Sneakers

44. Debit or Credit

45. Quiet or Loud

46. Sun or Moon

47. Thunder or Lightning

48. Bed or Sofa (I sleep most of the nights on the couch askdj)

49. Weird or Normal

bruuuuuuhhhh this was long but fun :D The people that tagged me now have to do the other two tag thingies! I’m sorry I don’t make the rules, but you can pretend you can’t read and ignore this ;) 

I’ll tag! @melsmarvel, you’ll never be free, @the-introverted-photographer, @subsilvernight @that-otp-life, @sharingsharoncarter, @the-garnet-rain.

You can do all 3 or only one! OR NONE AT ALL, don’t worry, mah dudes, I love you anyway.

[lobotomiez]

ok i was trying to avoid this but ive been tagged for it like 6 times i dont even remember everyone who tagged me

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink water

2. phone call my friend eden bc joya and i went outside but she didnt have her swipe card to get back inside and i dont have access to their dorm so i called eden to come let us in but she didnt actually need to bc some ppl came by and opened the door

3. text message one of these 🙌🏻 to my class group’s chat abt our paper

4. song you listened to “my old ways” by dr. dog

5. time you cried WATCHING LOVE, SIMON

ever

6. dated someone twice? not even once

7. kissed someone and regretted it no ive only kissed 2 friends when we were drunk

8. been cheated on nope

9. lost someone special not,, really? ive lost ppl but i wouldnt call them special

10. been depressed lol

11. gotten drunk and thrown up yeeah only once tho i think?

fave colours

12. peach

13. forest green

14.  probably lavender

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends uhh i think so?

16. fallen out of love nope

17. laughed until you cried yah

18. found out someone was talking about you nope

19. met someone who changed you i guess so 

20. found out who your friends are yeah

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list not in the last year

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl all...

23. do you have any pets my kitty!

24. do you want to change your name no

25. what did you do for your last birthday uh.. i think nothing.. one of my friends brought me an arizona and stopped by for like 5 mins.. at least i think that was my last birthday?

26. what time did you wake up today first alarm went off at 9:00 but i didnt get up until 9:36 or so and then was late to class but the professor was later so it didnt even matter 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night probably sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for spRING BREAK IM GONNA GET A TATTOO IN SEATTLE AND HANG OUT W JOYA AND EDEN!!!!

30. what are you listening to right now ladada by dr. dog !

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom uhh my cousin’s name is thomas does that count?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves my finger wouldnt stop bleeding so i put a bit of tissue and tape on it and its kinda annoying in a more general sense my skin is annoying as hell these days its so dry on the lower half of my face but kinda oily on the top and im breaking out rly bad rn!! even tho im on an acne med!!

33. most visited website probably this hellhole

34. hair color boring brown

35. long or short hair short but im gonna grow it out to a bob length which is still short but long for me

36. do you have a crush on someone idk if its a crush but i think this guy in my music class is really cute his name is sam

37. what do you like about yourself uhhh not a lot my guy but i guess my music taste

38. want any piercings? i would love a bunch of ear piercings all over and maybe a lip piercing 

39. blood type red

40. nicknames uhh none exactly one (1) person is allowed to call me tess and its None of u

41. relationship status single and unloveable 

42. zodiac gemini

43. pronouns they/them or she/her irl 

44. fave tv shows its always sunny in philadelphia, the office, psych, monk, i also rly like ap bio so far idk if its a fav yet but i enjoy it 

45. tattoos soon!!!! it’ll be a hand holding a flower

46. right or left handed right but i can do stuff w my left too 

47. ever had surgery uhh wisdom teeth

48. piercings norm ear piercing and septum 

49. sport what the fuck is a sport

50. vacation i went to the netherlands and then germany in like 2013 that was really fun 

51. trainers shoes? i almost exclusively wear boots namely my docs or converse or birks if its warm out

more general

52. eating nothing rn but i just had dinner which was a sad tasteless pad thai, broccoli, a slice of pizza, an eggroll, and some cereal (welcome to college) 

53. drinking water

54. i’m about to watch probably something on youtube but i also need to look at the course schedule for next semester bc i have an advising  meeting tmrw and i have no clue what i want to take 

55. waiting for ?? spring break

56. want a slushee sounds so good rn

57. get married yeah probably

58. career a psychiatrist hopefully or something similar

which is better

59. hugs or kisses i love hugs but i also havent had a Real kiss so idk but also im weird abt mouth hygiene so there are very few ppl id be ok w kissing so anyway hugs i guess

60. lips or eyes uhhh both? nice lips are important if ur gonna be kissin em

61. shorter or taller i dont care actually

62. older or younger this question is creepy, cancelled

63. nice arms or stomach all arms are nice and all tummies are nice

64. hookup or relationship relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant usually hesitant but i can be a troublemaker if im in the right mood

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger lol no

67. drank hard liquor helllll yeah

68. lost glasses dont wear them but never lost sunglasses or anything

69. turned someone down yeah

70. sex on first date lmao

71. broken someones heart i highly doubt it 

72. had your heart broken nope

73. been arrested no

74. cried when someone died yeah,,,

75. fallen for a friend nno

do you believe in

76. yourself lmao

77. miracles no,, i believe some wild shit happens coincidentally??

78. love at first sight i mean u could be attracted to someone at first sight and then fall in love w them if u develop a relationship w them but its not love if u’ve never even talked to them

79. santa claus i wish

80. kiss on a first date ??? how does one “believe in” this it either happens or it doesnt 

81. angels nah 

other

82. best friend’s name emma + a lot of others i consider best friends

83. eye colour brown/hazel

84. fave movie oh shit,, maybe love, simon 

85. fave actor hhh... charlie day??

i tag whoever wants to do this bc its rly fuckin long

[daizyjonson]

Day 19 for inktober was sling • I wasn’t sure what to draw, the inspiration in this prompt wasn’t the most powerful lmao, so I went for a sling chair kinda thingy, yeeah idk, but there you go • #inktober #inktober2019 #inktoberday19 #sling #art #digitalart #sketch #sketching #ink #watercolor #digital #digitalpainting #lineart #procreate #drawing #digitaldrawing #artoftheday #skyeandart https://www.instagram.com/p/B3zo6tbHM89/?igshid=nb9lcgyz16f

[emeraldgreengoddess]

Its rant time

Alright idk wtf is happening here but i keep accidentally linking up w bitches who dont have any freedom lol. No but literally its not even funny. I used to chat w this girl from my old job while we were at work & it was fine cause like we were at work but nooow the more im talking to her this bitch never hanging out w| me. She wants to talk ontp allllll the time cause she cant ever get away. I hate talking ontp. Like can we have this conversation over alcohol like 2 twenty something year olds no ohkay. She got 2 dependent kids & her bf isnt really fucking w| them. Hes so goddamn insecure i just cannot. Hes the nigga you get w when all your other options dry up 😒. She talking about leaving this nigga but shes already got somebody on deck for if they break up 🙄. Shes the type of bitch whos neeever single & thats on purpose lmao. She talking about "i wnna go out & have fun" like bitch you can't do that w| a man shut up. Then shes like i really dont want anymore kids. But your fertile ass didnt get your tubes tied youre not on bc & you're scared to have an abortion wtf you think is gnna happen bitch. I said "thinking about doing a girls trip next summer w some of my other friends. Would you wnna join in?" This bitch goes " yeah id have to bring my sister though so like my bf doesnt trip out or whatever. So i can sneak & be like yeeah Im bringing my sister dont worry." Like on some chaperone type shit. & she giggled. That was the final staw for me, like don't laugh bitch nothing about that is funny.

[chaoticantaloupe]

rules: answer all the questions and tag 20 other blogs

tagging: @solondonmyownstyle, @aceluz, @wsoldiers, @vikanderrps, @girlofsteelwrites, @valkyrianwriter, @opalwrites, @khaleesiplots, @sweetpandarps, @kensrpt, @deleteitrp, @slytherin-writes, @narcissaxwrites, @binawrites, @tribbicnnis, @poldrk, @cindykimbrly, @hathncfury, @disappointedwrites, @britawrites​

tagged by: @loriiwrites​  💕

LAST:

1. DRINK: peach iced tea 🍑🍑 2. PHONE CALL: my brother 3. TEXT MESSAGE: it was me complaining to shabs​ about emails i get 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Can I Be Him by James Arthur 5. TIME YOU CRIED: today??? a few hours ago? 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nah 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nah 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: super nah 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: 😊😊😊😊 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: it ain’t fun kids.

3 FAVORITE COLORS 12. a very soft pink, i think it’s called millennial pink 13. burgundy!!!! 14. pinkish-yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yup  💗💕 💓 💓 💗💕 💗💕 💓 💗💕 💗 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: i mean... if im being bitter. (it wasn’t love but i’m dramatic) 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yup 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: no 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: idk, i guess. shabsie has brought out my inner hoe so... 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yeeea 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: nah

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: all of them, i think??? 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: LOVES OF MY LIFE!!! two puppies and my little kitty cat! 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: naahh 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: my birthday just pasted and i spent the actual day w/the fam and then had an amazing lunch w/shabsie. i loveee her 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 12, but then i took a nap and woke up again at 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: eating grapes and watching makeup tutorials 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: college to be O V E R and go to europe with shabie 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: five minutes ago 30. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: a playlist on spotify and my fan 31. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: yea he was weeeird 32. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: my emails 33. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Tumblr 34. HAIR COLOR: Blonde 35. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Long 36. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: nah i’m getting played 37. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: everything?? i’m a delight 38. PIERCINGS: two on the ears, hopefully more soooooon 39. BLOOD TYPE:  O something idk 40. NICKNAME: shabs calls me a lot of wonderful things 41. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: i’m trying. 42. ZODIAC: cancer 43. PRONOUNS: She/Her 44. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: i don’t really have one. i use to be a supernatural fan (im so sorry on their behalf) but now i’m in between 45. TATTOOS: S O O N. 46. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: Right 47. SURGERY: only wisdom teeth which isn’t really surgery 48. SPORT: baseball!!!! nothing else makes sense 49. VACATION: anywhere out of california; i just wanna G O 50. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like tennishoes? like converse??

MORE GENERAL 51. EATING: everything pizza with white sauce 52. DRINKING: dr pepper. (or hot chocolate but im a slut for dr pepper) 53. I’M ABOUT TO: put on lord of the rings 54. WAITING FOR: my waiver to go through 55. WANT: to eat chicen tenders with SHABS!!! and some of that crack juice 56. GET MARRIED: IT’D BE NICE 57. CAREER: pleeeease if college is nice to me

WHICH IS BETTER 58. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS!!! especially long long hugs aka cuddles 59. LIPS OR EYES: fuck me up. 60. SHORTER OR TALLER: Taller 61. OLDER OR YOUNGE: lmao older 62. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: ARMS  63. HOOKUP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship 64. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: gesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 65. KISSED A STRANGER: nah 66. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yeah 67. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeeah 68. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yup. 69. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nope. 70. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: ???  71 . HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: it just got a little hurt 72. BEEN ARRESTED: nah 73. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes 74. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: nope. i’m in love with shabs but we all know this

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 75. YOURSELF: theoretically  76. MIRACLES: yeah 77. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: no???? idk 78. SANTA CLAUS: suresies 79. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: nope 80. ANGELS: Yes

OTHER: 81. EYE COLOR: Brown 82. FAVORITE MOVIE: i guess lord of the rings??? or phantom??? i have no clue don’t ask me this

[chimchams]

I know you're doing this recurring themes thing and I haven't really been down your blog so you might of mentioned it but have u seen the repetition of the use of lilies in their mvs? Sometimes it's in the form of petals like at the end of the new Japanese version of bs&t when he glass breaks. Idk just thought it was interesting!!

yeeah!!! lillies. and most of the time the flowers are around seokjin and they’re also burning a lot of the time (like in the bg of the i need u jpn mv). i actually have a much longer list of RECURRING THEMES/IMAGES that i kind of gave up one bc there was so much lmao i might take it up again tho!

[acest-of-them-all]

Y'all update on this, yesterday the guy came over again after school, since he was there while I was trying to print my papers and my other friends had already left. I ended up giving up with the printing bc something was wrong with the computer/printer but anyways, he just kind of walked with me out of the school and he asked if I was going to the dormitory and I was like yeah bc that was what I was going to do. He asked if he could come over for a while and I was like yeeah sure go ahead. Idk I was feeling slightly nervous about it, bc last time he came over I was painting and he just sat there on his phone bc I was focusing on the painting and idk if it was awkward for him or something.

We went into my dorm room, and I just kind of tidied up a little bc I like never make my bed so I made it and so on. He came up to me and pushed me towards the bed(which I was facing) and he was like "okay now lie down good night" and like it wasn't anything weird, I just flopped down on the bed and was like goodnight and yeah. Again it wasn't anything weird or uncomfortable, we were just joking and stuff, and he laid down next to me. We were both just lying there on our backs and talking and stuff(I was on the wall-side of the bed, he was on the other side.). At some point I got up to take my necklace off bc I don't like to wear it while lying down, and I didn't bother to climb over him to go back to the wall side, so I just kind of told him to move over and laid down on the other side. We ended up in a position where he was kind of spooning me, and we were talking and stuff.

We had previously joked about all the porn on my phone, referring to all the pictures and files I had moved on my laptop bc the storage was full and stuff. He kind of went back into that like "so you moved all your porn on you laptop huh", jokingly, and I was like lmao haha yeah, to which he asked me what kind of porn I watch. And I was internally like wHOOOA BOI but was like yeah I don't exactly watch porn. Then he was like "haha oh yeah well what kind of fantasies do you have?" and I was like I don't have any. And he was like "hmm really" and tHEN I was like "yeah. It's because I'm... asexual? And it makes me kind of uncomfortable?" and now the part which I was kinda surprised about; he didn't mind. At all. Like he was like oh okay and asked some questions like if the fact that he was spooning me and basically holding my hands(my hands were super cold so I think he was trying to warm them) was making me uncomfortable and I was like no this is fine, which it was. At some point I told him that I was also aromantic.

Then he asked if I had been uncomfortable with the kissing and I just told him that the situation itself wasn't extremely bad, but more like the feeling after was very uncomfortable. And he apologized for not knowing!!! To which I was like no no it's fine I didn't tell you about it so I couldn't expect you to know about it and that my reaction most likely wasn't because of him, just because of my sexuality.

He asked how I felt about sex and if I had tried it or wanted to try, to which my answer was that I find it repulsing and it would make me anxious, and that I would most likely never try it. He asked what exactly was it about sex that was repulsing. I didn't have an answer to that, it just is. He also asked what I thought of sex scenes in movies, to which I said I usually skip them, but if I'm in a theatre and can't skip it, I look away.

He was really really cool about it. At some point he asked if I could pleasure myself, to which I answered that yeah, I could, but did it in very rare occasions. He asked if I found that repulsing, and I told him that I wasn't sure. Kinda neutral, maybe.

He had like the best reaction I could have imagined, he was so cool about it and really accepting.

I don't know if it relates to that but he asked me how I felt about him and I was like "??? do you mean if i hate you or what i think of your personality or what? Be more specific" and tbh I don't remember what he said but I just told him that obviously I currently don't mind his existence bc we were lying on my bed, that I didn't know him that well so I didn't really know what to say about his personality, and that I found it difficult to tell differences between acquaintances and friends, and thought of him as something between an acquaintance and a friend.

We continued cuddling, which is seriously the most complex thing ever, there is too many limbs and finding a good position takes detailed planning and teamwork and breaking a few bones to get your arm in a comfortable position, and IT WASN'T AWKWARD, and then he had to leave. I was kind of relieved. Part of me had expected him to be a Nice Guy™ but he wasn't and that was awesome. Luckily people are more accepting these days.

I know some people have really bad experiences with coming out or cannot come out because of the people around them, so remember to only come out if you know you're safe!!

So now story time bc today is the day I became extremely sure I am asexual

So. Let’s go waaay back to when I was a kid and had no idea there was other sexualities than straight. Obviously I assumed I was gonna have a boyfriend sometime. I didn’t really think about it, though. It wasn’t relevant because I was a kid and I had other worries like what will I play with my friends during the breaks between classes.

When I was about 13-14, I had discovered the fact that there were not only straight people, but also gays, lesbians and bisexuals. I was like hey, girls are nice, I would date a girl as well as a boy. So I labeled mhself as a bisexual. Now, I hadn’t had any real crushes(I now have realized), only a few people I had taken interest in, so I didn’t really know how attraction to another person felt like.

When I was about 14 years old or when I was turning 15, I wasn’t so sure about my gender anymore. I didn’t feel good in my body, and I hated it so, so much. I had more knowledge of sexualities and genders, so I began to wonder, if what I was experiencing was me being transgender. I was kind of suspicious though, because the feeling came so late, and not as a child already. But I knew that the gut-wrenching feeling that made me want to throw up I got when someone called me a girl, was very real. I was convinced I was a transgender, and I was fine with that. It still hurt though, when after two years of feeling horrible dysphoria with my body I told my mom that I was pretty sure I was trans, she still would address me and my sister as “girls” when talking of both of us. I never got the chance to tell my father, though. At some point, I realized that I might not be able to go through the surgeries, as the places I could do that were quite far away, and I didn’t know how expensive it was gonna be. Soon, I was fine with that, too, because I realized that my discomfort in my body being female was fading. I was so confused. I had felt like a boy for the last two years and now I suddenly felt like wearing more makeup and dressing more femininely?? I was like huh. I was a fake after all.

At the same time I started to realize that I didn’t feel the desire to become close to people. I thought I was somehow incorrectly developed, that it would come to me later, so I didn’t really pay attention to it.

Now, in the spring, this year. My first year of vocational school was almost over. We had photography, and I was sitting at my computer on my phone, because I had already edited all the photos I had taken and nothing else to do. There was this guy, that I knew my friend knew, sitting at the computer next to me. He wasn’t in our class(he was on his second year). He asked about what we had been doing, which I found weird, because I didn’t know this dude, but I just awkwardly answered him. We conversed for a while, and he offered to show me how the studio lights and flashes work. I accepted, because yeah, I had nothing else to do. Well. He showed me how they worked, I was quite awkward all the time, and he asked about stuff. One thing he asked was if I had ever kissed anyone. I obviously hadn’t, so I answered no. He asked if I wanted to try. I was confused and I kind of panicked so I accepted. I was tense and nervous and confused, and he told me to relax and close my eyes. I slapped my hand over my eyes, because I couldn’t bring myself to close them, I was so nervous. I was just standing there, tense as hell, as he kissed me. Or tried to. It didn’t go well, as I kept my lips tightly together and I was panicking. He told me I had to relax, to which I repeatedly told him that I wasn’t capable of that. That was followed by him letting it go and us both apologizing for making things awkward. The whole thing was like straight out of a fanfiction. Except that if it was a fanfiction, I wouldn’t have been an already suspecting ace, I would have magically been able to kiss him back and we’d have banged in the studio. Yeah, no. I didn’t really see him after that, which I was pretty relieved of, because now I wouldn’t have to deal with awkward shit! At that point I was almost completely sure I was ace and aro, because I didn’t feel like romantic relationships were really my thing and the idea of me having sex with someone, to be completely honest, disgusted me. I had also found a term that I felt like it fit my gender: genderfluid. My preferred gender tends to change quite slowly, I can feel really feminine for months, or really masculine for, apparently, years. Sometimes it’s one of those, but in between happens too. Currently I am leaning a little bit on the feminine side.

Anyways. This fall. Summer was over, my second year of school started. And I get to live alone, which is super awesome! One day, after like two weeks of school, the guy texts me(we had exchanged our numbers back then), asking how I’d been. We talked about stuff, it was casual and cool. He’s pretty nice, since he likes memes and listens to good music. I told him that I lived alone, and he joked about coming to ruin my peaceful isolated life. I was like yeah, you can come over sometime if you want to, because sometimes some company isn’t too bad. The next monday he came to hang out, and it was cool. We listened to music, showed each other memes and all, and I was relieved it wasn’t awkward(I had done research on the internet on how to carry on with a conversation before he arrived lmao). Then he left and everything was well in the kingdom. A week or two went by, he would occasionally text me and yeah. It was cool and I was like whoa did I manage to make a friend.

Until.

The day before yesterday(saturday). He texted me like usual and asked if I wanted to hang out on sunday, but because I wouldn’t have had any time, we agreed to hang out on monday. A.k.a. today. And then he asked if I still couldn’t kiss. And I was like ooohh nooooo, and said that no, I can’t because who the hell would my ace ass I have been kissing? He was like well do you want to try on monday and internally I was like WHY??? DON’T YOU REMEMBER HOW AWKWARD IT WAS??? And because I figured that the sooner he realizes I’m a hopeless case, the sooner he leaves me alone with the kissing stuff(and because my idiot brain is like BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE A FAKE ACE??? WHAT IF YOU DO LIKE IT HMMM?!? and I wanted to be sure), I was like uuuhhh sure I guess. I warned him that I was most likely going to be awkward as hell AGAIN, but he just told me to “relax and enjoy”. Which confused me because I simply do not see the appeal of having other person’s tongue shoved down your throat, but I let it be.

So he came over. We conversed for a while, then browsed memes again(which meant we were both sitting on my bed). Soon he was like sooo about the kissing and I was like oh god oh god what do I do, so my brain switched into “scientific experiment” mode, and I was like yeah, I only need to think of this as an experiment on what kissing feels like and everything would be fine. So he told me to get in his lap and I was just confused as hell and was like uuhhh do I have to like do something, to which he answered that not really. And then he kissed me. And his tongue was in my mouth. It didn’t taste like anything, it felt weird and I was just kind of trying to not be too awkward, trying to somehow respond to it. He asked how it was and I was like weird, not the most unpleasant thing but nothing special either. And we ended up lying down and kind of cuddling on my bed, which was okay. I was just making random comments about like how babies have more bones than adults and at some point I was like do you wanna take a nap, naps are nice, to which he agreed. It wasn’t a nap though. He kissed me some more and yeah. At some point though he had to leave, so he did. And that’s when it really hit me. I felt really unhygienic and weirded out. I still could taste his tongue, which is why I brushed my teeth twice in a row. The taste wouldn’t go away! I ate, and I noticed I was terribly aware of my own tongue in my mouth. I could still smell his deodorant or whatever it was, and now it wasn’t even nice anymore, it was disturbing and overwhelming. I couldn’t even drink from my bottle normally because of the way it feels! I brushed my teeth one more time and put my clothes at my window to air out, I don’t want them to smell like him. I went and scrubbed myself under a practically boiling shower, I think I’ve never been so thorough when showering. I’m still confused. Why do I feel so disgusted and unclean, when clothes weren’t even reduced? Apparently it doesn’t need much. But if mere kissing makes me like this, I can’t even imagine myself in even a slightly more intimate situation. Just, no. If he wants to do that again, I gotta tell him that kissing definitely isn’t my thing, maybe just straight up tell him that I’m asexual. At least now I’m sure about it lol