#years ago?? i wouldn't believe me if i said that we got better about our time and tumblr.

[allthingsfangirl101]

My Archenemy – Tyler Owens

All anyone can talk about is Tyler Owens. My students are obsessed with his videos. They idolize him.

I, on the other hand, would love to go a day without someone bringing him up. After high school, I stayed in town and went to the nearby college. I remained here and ended up teaching science at my old high school. Tyler only reappeared when tornados came to town.

I tried not to think about him. I didn't want to. We were childhood archenemies. Tyler and I were constantly competing. From spelling tests to reading competitions to science fairs. I was better at biology. Tyler was better at environmental science. We were always going head-to-head.

Whenever one of us won something, the other jumped up and won at the next thing. It got tiresome for me, but Tyler loved the competition.

After a long day at work, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home. I roamed the aisles, grabbing things here and there. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that there was still one box of my favorite granola bars left. I went to grab it but someone had the same idea.

"Oh. I'm sorry. . . I was just. . . Tyler Owens?"

"Well, I'll be," he chuckled, instantly smirking his famous smirk. "If it isn't little Y/F/N Y/L/N."

"I'm surprised to see you back in town," I said, resisting the urge to look him up and down.

"Did you miss me?" He smirked.

"No," I didn't hesitate. "But now I miss the peace that was here when you weren't."

I started to reach for the box of granola bars, but Tyler snatched it. "Really?" I mumbled under my breath.

"I seem to remember you always had several of these in your backpack in high school," he chuckled as he pretended to read the nutritional facts. He smirked at me before dropping it into his handbasket.

"And something tells me you're not going to give me the last box," I scoffed, grabbed my shopping cart, and started walking the other way.

"We could make an exchange," Tyler said after he jogged to catch up with me.

"You have nothing I would want," I scoffed.

"Not even in exchange for the only food I've ever seen you eat?" He chuckled.

"Nope," I said, grabbing some cereal.

"You're no fun," he pouted.

"Yep."

"You haven't changed, have you, Y/L/N?"

"You shouldn't change perfection, Owens."

* * * * *

After my weird run-in with Tyler, I went home and instantly ordered my favorite granola bars on Amazon. I then used a bottle of wine to help me forget about our town's hero.

When I went to work the next day, the students were all buzzed. I had no idea why until I heard a certain conversation.

"Can you believe he's here?" One of my female students giggled.

"Isn't he from here?" Her friend asked.

"He is!" Another one of their friends added. He did a video a few years ago, and they talked about how he grew up here and even went to this school!"

"Wait," the first girl said, "didn't Ms. Y/L/N go to this school when she was our age?"

I kept my focus on my computer, hoping they wouldn't do what I thought they were about to do.

They did.

"Ms. Y/L/N, we have a question."

"What's up, girls?" I asked.

"Is it true that you went to school here?" They started with a warm-up question. They did this all the time.

"I did," I nodded, leaning back in my chair and embracing myself for the question they really wanted to ask me.

"Is it true that Tyler Owens, the Tornado Wrangler, went to school with you?"

"He did," I sighed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes when they squealed.

"We know he's gorgeous, but what was he like in person?"

"Is he sweet?"

"Is he funny?"

"Was he always the 'risk his life to save others' type?"

"He is basically the town's hero! Did he ever save you?"

"Girls," I cut them off, "I'll answer your questions if you answer mine."

"Sure!"

"Have you finished your assignment?" I smirked when they looked at each other. I almost laughed when they sighed and walked back to their desks. Luckily, the bell rang before they could come back and ask me those questions.

At the end of the day, I finished a few things before heading out. By then, it was raining. I pulled my jacket over my head and ran to my car. As I got in, I debated whether driving home in this weather could be unsafe, but there was no sign of it letting up.

My need for comfy clothes and a glass of wine convinced me to risk it. I carefully pulled out of the staff parking lot and headed home. I got to a red light and looked at the clouds, wondering if this would turn into a Tyler Owen's Worthy Storm. When the light turned green, I didn't hesitate to go.

I should've hesitated.

Right as I went through the intersection, another car ran the red light. I didn't have time to react before they hit my back tire. My car started spinning but there was nothing I could do to get out of it. Suddenly, I heard a large bang and my car stopped spinning.

I looked around but nothing made sense. I couldn't recognize any landmarks. I couldn't even remember what light I was at when I got hit.

"Y/N?!"

I couldn't respond. My head was spinning too much. I reached up, gasping in pain when I touched something wet.

"Y/N, are you alright?"

When I brought my hand back down, there was blood on my fingers. I leaned my head against the headrest, waiting for the spinning to stop.

"Shit, you're bleeding," the voice said. "Y/N, unlock the door."

I could feel my hand shaking as I hit the unlock button. As soon as I did, the door swung open. Someone knelt next to me, gently putting their wet hand on my knee. I could feel the rain hitting my face.

"Y/N," they said, their voice softer this time. "Look at me. Please?"

When I did, it took a second before I realized who it was. "Tyler?" I stuttered.

"Oh good," he joked. "You didn't hit your head so hard that you forgot about me."

"I wish I had," I mumbled as I looked away.

"You wanna know something, Y/L/N?" He chuckled. "I don't think you actually hate me. I think you pretend to hate me so I don't find out that you have a crush on me."

"You wanna know something, Owens?" I repeated his question, slowly lifting my head and looking at him. "I would. . ."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest when it got too painful to try and focus on his face.

"We can bicker later," he said lightly. "Right now, let's get you some help. He grabbed my hand as he stayed squatting down but called 911.

Tyler stayed with me the whole time. He was right by my side, getting soaked in the rain, as we waited for the ambulance. Even as they put me in the back and took me to the hospital, Tyler stayed in the rain, watching.

* * * * *

I was only in the hospital for a night. I called the school and let them know what happened. They didn't hesitate to cover my classes for me and reassure me that they could handle things until I was better.

When I got home, I instantly collapsed on the couch. I put on a show I was binging before the accident and soon fell asleep on the couch. I woke up about an hour later to someone knocking.

"Tyler," I gasped when I opened the door. I subconsciously wrapped my cardigan tighter around me. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were released from the hospital earlier this morning and I wanted to see how you were feeling," he said, shoving his hands into his back pockets.

"I'm fine," I sighed.

"Are you sure? It was a bad accident," he shrugged. Something in his eyes changed. "Your car spun out and you ended up hitting. . ."

"I know," I cut him off, looking away from his weirdly soft eyes. "It was just a concussion."

"But it must've been scary," he said softly. I looked back at him, my heart feeling like it was in my throat.

"I don't remember it much," I mumbled.

"You don't?" He asked, taking a small step toward me.

"I remember my car spinning out," I recalled slowly. "And trying to turn out of it. Then. . . nothing."

"Y/N," he said softly.

"What are you doing?" I snapped, breaking this weird tension.

"What do you mean?" He chuckled.

"This," I said, gesturing between him and me. "You coming and checking on me. Being sweet. Saving me."

"Y/N," he gently cut me off. "Do you really think I'm the kind of guy who'd watch you get in a car accident and not help you?"

"You did it in high school," I said, dropping my voice.

As I stared at him, I remembered the day in high school when I got rear-ended on my way home from school. I still remember being on the phone, waiting for my dad to answer, and seeing Tyler drive by in his truck.

"Y/N. . ." He stuttered.

"Thank you for checking on me," I said, clearing my throat, "but I'm fine. In fact, I should probably get some rest."

Before he could say anything else, I shut the door.

* * * * *

A few hours later, I sighed when there was a knock on the door. I stood up but had to stop because I felt dizzy. When it passed, I slowly made my way to the door.

"Tyler," I stuttered. "What are you doing here? Again?"

"I wanted to apologize," he said. "I know we had our weird back-and-forth growing up, but I want you to know that I didn't hate you when we were younger. I've never hated you, Y/N."

I smirked as I folded my arms and leaned against the doorframe. "So the time you stole my science notes and spilled soda all over them? Or the time you wrote swear words on my notecard for our biology exam? Or the time you almost tripped me at graduation?"

"Don't you notice flirting when you see it?"

"Bullshit," I scoffed a little too soon.

I saw the look on his face drop. Only for a second though. He quickly recovered his annoying smirk. My heart jumped into my throat when he took a step closer, instantly feeling like he was towering over me.

"Clearly, I need to take a more direct approach."

"Direct approach?" I repeated. "Tyler, what are you. . ."

He cut me off by grabbing my face and pressing his lips to mine. I wasn't sure what to do. My mind was racing and all I could focus on, besides Tyler's surprisingly soft hands holding my face, was the feeling of his lips on mine. Sooner than I would've liked, he broke the kiss.

"I may not have stayed," he whispered, "but I called the police."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, matching his tone.

"That day," he continued, dropping his hands from my face, "in high school. When you got into your crash, I froze. I kept driving because I didn't know what to do. When I got home, I instantly called the cops. I didn't even tell my mom until after I had gotten off the phone."

"Why are you telling me this?" My voice was now under my breath.

"Because when I saw your accident yesterday, I didn't freeze," he said gently. "I knew I had to do something. And fast. I couldn't drive away again."

"I shouldn't have brought that up," I stuttered.

"No, it's okay," he cut me off. "I was wrong not to do anything in high school. I should've stayed around. I should've helped you."

"You did tonight," I said, my voice dropping again. I couldn't help but smile when I thought about the girls in my class the other day.

"What?" He asked, his playful smirk returning.

"It's something my students said the day of the accident."

Tyler smiled as he reached up and moved some hair out of my face, his hand lingering on my face. "What did they say, Ms. Y/L/N?" He lightly teased.

"You really are this town's hero."

Tyler laughed, slightly shaking his head. "I only care about being one person's hero," he said, slowly leaning in.

"Who's?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yours."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I ignored all the doubts that flooded my brain as our lips started moving in sync. I grabbed the front of his flannel, pulling him closer to me. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Oh!" He broke the kiss suddenly. "I almost forgot."

Confusion flooded me as Tyler stepped slightly out my front door and grabbed something from the ground. When he turned back toward me, he was holding a box of my favorite granola bars.

"I believe I owe you these."

[rottenache]

i feel like i should put a disclaimer that on weekends i usually try to not be here, and spend my free time after the workweek to just get my apartment in order, get super zooted, and use the time to get back into my other hobbies like pottery, sewing, etc!

[gyuarchives]

wrong timing, right nor wrong person.(?) | a choi yeonjun oneshot. (good ending)

sypnosis: this is the last time. you told yourself this is the last time that you would let yourself fall in the arms of love and catch feelings for a person. you don't even care if it was the right thing to do or not. but maybe, just maybe, your shot would hit the bullseye this time.

genre: happy ending (yay!), fluff, gn!reader

word count: 894 words

warning: none!

note: if you're seeing this before the original story, click here to read the intended ending (the bad ending)! there is no particular order of how you wanna read it but just to let you know that this is a different ending from the OG one! enjoy!

"can i talk to you?"

"yeah sure! i still have some time left before my next class, what's up?"

you hate it. you hate this smile on his face that makes you feel like the whole world will be okay and that there is nothing to worry about, but your mind was filled to the brim with worries, concerns and your heart was screaming for you not to do this; however your mind said that you should, because you wouldn't have another passing chance like this again.

"no like, in private."

he looked around the lecture theatre as the other students were taking their leave after the boring class ended a few minutes ago, only the nerdy, studious ones stayed back, but none that you would even care about.

it felt like he did not want to budge from the spot he was standing between the seats, so there wasn't much choice but to do it then and there.

you took a deep breath, and dived right into the deep end.

"yeonjun, i know we have been friends for so long, and school has been so much fun with you around. classes were more tolerable, lunch breaks were so full of shit-talking about groupmates and professors.. there was never a dull moment since we worked on that project together and got closer. you came around quick every time i needed help, and you never fail to cheer me up on days when i couldn't move a muscle to smile. you really make me feel much better about life."

at this point you weren't halfway through your confession, and you were already choking up on words as your vision starts to get bleary. yeonjun looked like he knew which direction this was going. you exhaled strongly through your nose for an inch of relief.

"all those moments made me feel somewhat...attracted to you. and i couldn't ignore those feelings. every day i get to school, the only thing i would look forward to was seeing your face in classes we shared.. p-point is, i like you. so much. and i know our final year is already ending, but i feel like i need to get this off my chest before the end, or else i will never lay it to rest. and i don't really care if you don't feel the same, this was mainly for me. okay?"

you stopped talking and finally looked up from the ground to watch his face unfold into a look so mellowed, yet shocked. he couldn't even fathom his words right, and you could see his brain turning to match your words into coherent sentences that he could register.

he rubbed his mouth anxiously, a subconscious self-soothing gesture as he tried to process your confession. he didn't know how to take your words in, but he knew he has to say something anyway.

"hey yn look-"

"if you are going to reject me or say that you're seeing someone please save i-"

"i-i like you too."

your mind stopped working. for the first time today, you looked into his eyes in search of some genuineness. is he being for real?

"r-really? did- did you just say.. that??" you stumbled on your words not believing the first time he said that.

"yes.. yes i did, yn."

he smiled at you sweetly, eyes formed into crescent moons, letting you know that it is sincere. yeonjun gently pulled your arm and you let yourself drift closer to his body, hugging him in the process. he wrapped his arm around you as he caressed your hair lovingly.

"well...this is nice."

you giggled after making a sudden comment, hearing his heartbeat strong and rhythmic on his chest, reminding you of how glad he was to finally let you know what he has been feeling for a couple of weeks now; all those moments of stealing glances during lectures, babbling to the other 4 of his best friends of how he feels towards you everyday (and slightly annoying them with how often he talks about you and the rest having no such game), wandering around beaches and parks alone to properly think about the situation, if it was really a genuine crush or just a passing feeling he will get over.

you weren't any different either. it was hell for a few months ever since you realised you developed feelings for your project mate and you couldn't look at him the same after the discovery. you didn't go about a day without asking your friends if it was the right choice in crushing on him and them supporting you in the decision, but you couldn't help but question if he's already taken on the down low, or he was just being very kind to you and that is just his personality to everyone else. it is safe to say that none of those are true now.

you heard his giggles reverberate through his chest that made you smile much wider, encouraging you to be glad that the last time you gave love a chance was the first time you struck jackpot.

"let's go on a date right now then."

"now?! jjun, i literally look so ugly right now.."

"hey noo don't say that! you look cute. no one else will see you but me, so let's go try that new cafe down the street yeah?"

a/n: hope you enjoyed the good ending :3 feel like ive been writing alot of bad endings these days so i figured hey maybe i should write a nice one so yall wouldnt leave this app heartbroken </3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for intentionally giving someone bedbugs?

So, a few years ago, I (17 at the time) got bedbugs. I'm still not sure where from because it was only me who had them. Maybe from visiting a friend's house, maybe from the hotel I went to for a convention, or maybe I was just unlucky and picked them up off someone in public. Regardless, I had bedbugs and was the only one in my house that did. Because of my relationship with my parents and a very intense fear of getting in trouble, I was convinced I'd be scolded for having them/seen as gross, so I didn't tell anyone I had them. I just killed them on sight and every other day used the vacuum on every side of my mattress.

Now, while this was happening, my parents were arranging for a family friend's daughter "K" (15 at the time) to move in with us. Her and I really didn't get along. She was generally rude to me, shittalked my little sister constantly. My friend had told her about something that happened between me and a family member where I was abused, something that I didn't tell the rest of our family, and K was threatening to tell them about it. The issue is this would cause a LOT of unrest and stress on my family that I thought would be worse than keeping the event a secret, so I told her not to. She said she wouldn't, and then went back on that and told my parents anyways. I barely managed to convince them she got it mixed up with something else that happened, and everything was mostly fine.

Anyways, point is, I REALLY did not like K. She was moving in with us because her parents are, frankly, terrible people and don't really take proper care of her. So, my parents wanted to give her a better environment for a little while. I wanted to give her a chance because I knew she didn't have the best background or anything, even if I didn't like her.

She got here and didn't have a bed get (we set up an air mattress and the plan was to get a new bed for me and give my old one to her since it was still a really good bed, but I was due for a new one because of growing). I was trying to figure out how to come clean about the bedbugs before the switch.

That is, until she started being a jerk while at our house. She was stealing from the fridge and then blaming it on me. She was lying to my parents and sneaking out. She was lying ABOUT me and my parents to hers, telling them and her friends that we were abusing and neglecting her. She cut the screen of the guest room window to sneak a boy into our house in the middle of the night. She refused to help me and my sister with chores, which got ALL of us into trouble when they didn't get done.

I don't know if it was just the cumulative stress of the situation, school, and the bedbugs or if I just really felt like being terrible, but I didn't tell anyone about the bedbugs.

Then, we put my old bed in the guest room, and I got a new bed after a while. She started getting bug bites and after maybe two weeks my parents found out about the bed bugs. We deep-cleaned the house and had to get rid of the whole bed set.

To this day, my family believes K brought the bedbugs because of her home situation. I have only told a few of my friends about this. In hindsight, I feel bad because bedbugs are terrible and I made it seem like she'd brought them herself. I'm conflicted because I generally feel guilty over lying about it, but I also feel a little justified for my little bit of revenge. AITA??

[lovrsm]

ɢᴏʀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ

sum: in which your brother invites you to a party, and oh god, you're so glad you accepted.

word count: 2.4k

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

warnings: drinking, curse words & insinuation of cheating.

Spotify - Apple Music

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪ - ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪɪ - ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ ᴀᴜ

"you should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk"

Monaco was such a lovely place, when my brother had told me about it I thought he was exaggerating. I mean, it wouldn't be that weird if he had, he's always excited about everything, he's the kind of guy who makes you see as if the world is made of bright rainbow colors, and I believe him.

I arrived from the airport about 2 hours ago, I was on my way to the hotel where Lando was staying, he told me he got another room for me. How could I say no?

He called me yesterday at about 3pm

"No, I'm telling you, IT WILL BE THE PARTY OF THE YEAR!" he screamed over the phone, making me laugh.

"Lando, I just came from signing with my sponsors, they expect me to write more songs in a 4 months period, you know how complicated that's going to be?" I exhaled, taking off my heels, tossing them across the room as I lay down on the couch. I was exhausted.

"C'mon, you'll have plenty of things to write songs about, look, I can already hear it!" he started to hum a catchy tone, making the corners of my mouth go up. "Lando... Jake won't be able to be there, god, I don't even know if he'll want me to be there, you know?"

I could already see him in the doorway telling me where am I.

Sure, he was on canada filming, but what if he finds out?

"I'm not even letting you say no, I'm already booking tickets, get all you need, you can even shop here if you want, I just want my sister with me tomorrow night with me"

"You better go get me at the airport Lando Norris."

"I wont let you down peanut" He chuckled and hung up on me.

Well he kinda let me down, he couldn't come get me due to some last minute meeting he had. I don't really mind, I know having a busy life is exhausting.

I thanked the taxi driver giving his a generous tip, my bodyguard helped me get out my suitcases, I had a hoodie and black sunglasses, he had a casual outfit so we wouldn't stand out.

For being a top artist in the whole world, I did not like having that much security. But it was an obligation, not an option, I had to stick to what my manager and team asks me to do.

_

After a busy day of shopping and walking around the streets, I could barely feel my feet. I had gotten a beautiful short red dress. Perfect fit for the occasion. It was just 7p.m. and Lando had texted me he was on his way to my dorm.

The door opened to reveal my very festive brother in the other side "You're here!" "I'm here!" I screamed back jumping into his arms.

We catched up, he was telling me about how he checked the track, for the next season, since we were in December. Although I never really understood racing, when we were kids our parents would take us out to the karts, and I'd always crash while he was beating all of us who tried to play.

He focused on sports and I focused on music, since I was 12 years old I learned to play the guitar. My mom used to tell me that I was a genius at writing songs, I guess many people think the same.

Time passed by too fast, with him I felt like an hour were just 5 minutes.

After hating each other all our childhood, we became closer than ever after my career and his took off. I think it was because we were twins, we hated it when people said we acted the same, because physically we are not alike at all. I am so much prettier, obviously.

it was already 8 o'clock "I'm leaving, I should get ready, do you wanna come with me?"

"I'd stopped talking to you if you let me get there alone, I know none of these guys Lando."

"I'm sure you'll know somebody miss famous." He bumped my shoulder and left my room, entering to his which was next door.

I took my time getting ready. God, I love being a woman. I took a bath, fixed my hair, put on my make-up and finally there was the dress, hanging on the bathroom door. I think it is one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen in my life.

How did I manage to put on the mini dress correctly by myself? I don't even know, but I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. God if only someone could look at me.

Oh wait! There is someone, I grabbed my phone to click his name, my phone started to ring. I waited patiently, but he did not answer. So I called him once more, this time he did answer.

I heard loud music and singing in the back. "What do you need?" he asked, I could hear the irritation in his voice. "I wanted to hear from you, we haven't talked-"

"We talked last Monday, wasn't that enough? I'm busy." He interrupted me.

"Where are you?" I asked intrigued this time.

"Uhm... I'm in the bar with some friends"

"Oh and that's just more important than your girlfriend?" I raised my voice at him, I was now sitting the edge on the bed.

"Look, I don't want to fight, just call me later." He said, basically hanging the phone. "Jake..." I said before he could do so.

"What?" He sounded desperate. "Take care." I said.

"Ok" He hung. I felt disgusted, why? not idea, I just felt dirty, as if I was forcing him to talk to me. I took some deep breathes so I could calm my nerves down.

I don't even want to go out anymore.

I tried hard not to cry, I wasn't going to ruin my makeup over some small argument, I'm sure tomorrow we'll be alright, we always end up alright.

It felt as an eternity till I heard a knock on my door, I quickly grabbed my bag, looked in the mirror once more to fix my dark wavy hair, and rushed to the door. I opened it, in the side was Lando, his back on the wall while he was looking at his phone.

He turned it off and looked at me, I smiled "Ready to go Peanut?"

"Lets go"

_

We finally got to the club, electronic music was blasting off, people were already drunk, and boy they didn't even tried to hide it.

We had to basically run to the VIP area, I didn't said anything to my bodyguard about this, besides, he can use a break.

Lando was immediately greeted by everyone who was in the room. "LANDO!" A man screamed to him "Ayee, we're here!" He said hugging the man, and patting him in the back. "you're so late, you were the only ones missing!"

"we're here Pierre, I'd like to present to you all my sister!" He hugged me by the side and I waved with a smile on my face. It seemed that most of them recognized me, because some of them just stood there in shock "Hey everyone, ready to get wasted?" I laughed, that made them less tense and cheered, lifting their cups.

Lando gave a me a sweet kiss in my head, "see, you'll be fine, have some fun peanut!" I let go and we both went our own way.

I started to talk to a girl, her name is Kika, I learnt she was the girlfriend of a guy named Pierre Gasly. I've heard about him but no one ever told me how fun his girlfriend was!

"Girl, you should try this margarita, the most wholesome thing you'll have in your life!"

She was not kidding with that. In a few minutes, I had asked for... about 5 of them, or maybe just 13.

I had talked to everyone in the room by 10 pm, they were all so fun, and the energy was of another planet.

"Yeah, and then Max would make that grumpy face. I swear he looks like and old man!"

"very mature Lando, so mature." I bursted out laughing. "LECLERC HAS ARRIVED!" I heard someone scream in the entrance, and in seconds half of the group was there greeting the guy.

I decided I was going to take something else than a margarita. I walked up to the bartender, who definitely did not understood me. I don't know if I was speaking too softly or if I was just way too drunk to talk, but I decided to leave, I turned around and bumped into someone.

I was about to loose my balance till his arms were wrapped around my waist, I was able to stand straight. "are you alright?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes, green eyes "what?"was all I could manage. "Are you alright?" He asked again, I now noticed a thick accent, I bursted out laughing for that.

He looked so confused, he let go and chuckled with me. For a second it was as if the whole club was quiet. I looked again at him, and I immediately looked down at the floor. He grabbed my hand, the lights went out for a second and my world spun. My legs were about to give up.

His touch was... it was, god I can't even say it.

"I'm Charles, what's your name?"

I bit my lip, what went out of my mouth was definitely not what I wanted to say. "Do you always talk like that?" I asked a bit to seriously, I chuckled so that I wasn't that rude.

"Yeah, my first language isn't english."

"Huh." I said, I felt as if he had a goddamn magnetic field and it was pulling me towards him, I couldn't stand it.

I ran off to the other side of the room, leaving him standing alone next to the bar.

_

All night.

All night I couldn't stop thinking about him, his hand touching my hand in the darkened room...

and I made fun of the way he talked.

I'm never drinking again.

Yet there I was, in the bar once more, asking for whiskey. Mature, so mature.

I kept bouncing back and forth between the people there, once I saw Charles walking to my way, I would ran to the other side of the room.

I have a boyfriend for gods sake! I can't be thinking these unhealthy things about him.

But, I mean, can you blame me?

Look at him.

His first two buttons were unbottened which made him look so attractive. And you should see his dimples, he's so gorgeous it actually fucking hurts!

"So you're not going to talk to me?" I heard a voice behind my ear. His chest touching my back. I didn't move, but I did answer.

"Who said I wasn't going to?" I asked playfully, with a grin on my face, knowing he couldn’t see me.

He hummed in my ear, before he turned me to look him in the eye, he grabbed my neck, but he didn't kiss me. Instead, he brought his lips back to my ear.

"Then why do you keep running, huh?" His hot breath sent a shiver down my spine. I was dumbfolded by his actions, he took a step back to look at me.

I looked into his eyes, I was absolutely taking him in. I looked at his dimples because of the grin he had in his face. His eyebrows, his slightly sweaty hair, with pieces of it falling into his face.

I couldn't help myself, I noticed how he looked into my eyes, and then to my mouth.

What if..?

I asked to myself, I closed my eyes and got closer to him, waiting for a kiss. But he grabbed me by my hips pulling me back.

"You're far too drunk, ma chou" I heard and opened my eyes, he gave me a sympathetic smile. I felt dumb for a second, but after seeing his face... I think I might be falling.

"Why don't we leave, would you like that?" I hugged him, my head in his neck. I nodded as fast as I could. He grabbed me and in a second, we were in his car.

For sure the alcohol got to my head that night.

_

Taglist

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023: 25-Plain Clothes

Marinette sat on the hotel bed, easing her nerves.

'This is a simple mission; a test. Best outcome: we find ShadowMoth. Worst: Zero progress.'

Robin knocked on the door, startling her.

"How are you?" He questioned "Are you ready to leave?"

"Nervous." She answered with a sigh.

"Why? It's a simple mission, is it not?" he replied.

"It's my first mission, as myself. No one but Batman and Wonder Woman knows who I am." She called out.

"We can use an alias." Robin declared.

"Can't." Mari groaned, "I know people at the event. I was going to be here, one way or another."

"I take it that you are well known, then." Robin spoke.

"Yes and you?" Mari asked.

"Correct." he answered.

"Okay." Marinette said, before taking a deep breath.

Tikki shook her head a flew through the door, startling Robin. He quickly put his emotions back in order and glared at her. Tikki giggled.

'He reminds me of Plagg.'

"I am Tikki. I am the Kwami or Goddess of Creation." she spoke, "I am what makes the girl behind the door, Ladybug."

He nodded in response and looked back at the door.

"We will have somoene looking out for us in the shadows." he called out.

"Batman is here?" Ladybug asked.

"No, Superboy. Apparently, he saw your tiny companion here through a door once. His X-Ray vision works on her. Superman couldn't see her, at all." Robin declared, "I know his identity and he won't say anything, unless they have proper clearance. So far, that consist of you, me, Superboy, and Batman. We will have earpieces on and he will be able to communicate with us, if he notices anything."

"Meaning if ShadowMoth is in the crowd-" she stated.

"He should sense it." Robin answered, "If he tried to leave, he is capable of following him and giving us directions to his location."

Marinette walked out of the room, full of confidence and hope. Robin couldn't believe his eyes. Ladybug was a leader. She was strict. She reminded him of his parents, at times; dedicated. This girl in front of him didn't look deadly or commanding. She looked small and shy; she looked like an angel.

"You look.....beautiful." he spoke.

Mari smiled and tried to fight off her blush, "Thank you. How did the suit fit?"

"Um, well. Thank you for the suit." Robin replied, "Where did you get it?"

"I made it." she spoke, "I'm a fashion designer."

Damian looked down at his clothes. He hadn't appreciated them until that moment. He thought it had just been another suit. He looked back up before bowing to her.

"Damian Wayne." He announced.

She smiled back and curtsied, "Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

Marinette walked in on Damian's arm.

"I can see you both. I am still able to see Ladybug. I can see your earrings glowing and your little friend in your bag."

Mari gripped Damian's arm after hearing the voice speak

"Thank you, Superboy." Damian whispered, squeezing Marinette slightly, "He's on our side."

She just nodded. Soon, everyone crowded around them.

"I can see two other people with glowing items in attendance, aside from her."

Damian felt Marinette tense up again.

"Where?" Mari asked, "Who?"

"An older gentleman."

"Must be ShadowMoth." Damian inquired.

"The other?" Mari pressed.

"Our age."

Marinette bit her lip confused.

'Could Felix be here? No; Hawkmoth got the peacock miraculous back from him two years ago. That's why I used Kalki to get into the Justice League's headquarters in space.'

"Heads up. Incoming fast!"

"Hey, Marinette!" Adrien cried out, "I didn't expect you to have a date."

"Watch him."

Damian felt the tiny Ladybug grip his arm like her life depended on it, but on her face was plastered a smile.

"F-Felix?" Mari whispered.

"Uh, no." the blonde answered, "It's Adrien, Adrien Agreste. Did you forget about me?" 

"Why wouldn't my girlfriend have a date?" Damian demanded, moving his arm from to her waist to stabilize her better.

Marinette turned to him and smiled.

"His ring is glowing and he has a creature in his right breast pocket."

Marinette glanced at the familiar ring he wore throughout middle school. An image of it painted black with a neon print came to her mind.

'Adrien is Chat Noir!'

"There's something else. There's a....it looks like a feather inside of him. It looks like it branching out, like veins."

Marinette buckled, feeling faint.

"Mari!" Adrien shouted.

"Angel!" Damian cried out, catching her.

Adrien held her hand as Damian checked her over quickly.

"Are you okay?" Adrien asked.

"Do you think we can get some air?" Marinette questioned, "Still not use to these heels."

"Of course." Damian chuckled, "Did you remember to pack the bandages that Selina recommended?"

Marinette nodded, struggling to get to her feet. As she got up, she slipped the ring off of Adrien's finger, using her Guardian powers. Unfortunately for Adrien, Plagg was asleep and unable to warn him.

Once outside, Marinette burst into tears.

"Marinette?" Damian prodded, confused.

"Adrien is...was my partner." Marinette sobbed, showing him the ring.

"Why did you take it?" he questioned.

"The feather he saw." Mari declared.

"What about-"Damian began.

"He's a sentimonster! That's not the real Adrien and if it is.....who is to say he hasn't been helping Hawkmoth since the beginning?" she stated.

Marinette looked at the ring and placed it on her finger.

"Hey, Kid. What-" Plagg demanded, but once he saw Mari he changed his mind, "Where is he?"

"Did you know?" Marinette questioned.

"Know what?" Plagg asked, confused.

Tikki flew out of Marinette's bag, "Adrien is one of Duusu's creations."

Plagg's jaw dropped, "No!"

He floated down onto the Guardian's hand and sat down.

"You couldn't sense it?" Tikki asked.

"No." he answered shaking his head, "How big were the branches?"

"Large." answered Damian, "According to the half-alien who has x-ray vision and can see through people."

"It is possible that Adrien was never real." Tikki spoke, "For small times, it wouldn't be that much."

Tears poured down her cheeks. Adrien not being real opened up so many possibilities. She wiped her tears away.

"Bug?" Plagg questioned.

Marinette took a deep breath and reached into her bag. She quickly fixed her makeup and grabbed Damian's hand. The ring change from its once silver color to a dark metal with a large emerald.

"You are my partner for this mission." Mari declared, "It is only fitting that you now wear Plagg."

"Will he not notice?" Damian questioned.

"No." the Guardian answered, "The magic of the miraculous will keep him for recognizing it."

"Are you coming?" he asked.

"I need a moment." she whispered.

He nodded and walked back into the venue.

"Marinette?" Tikki whispered.

"I may have to kill Adrien." she answered.

"I have eyes on another."

Marinette stood up and walked back into the gala.

"Male, 40's. Maybe 50's. White suit and glasses."

Marinette looked around and spotted Gabriel Agreste.

She took a deep breath and asked, "Where is it?"

"Under his tie. It's red and white."

'Yep. That describes Gabriel Agreste, perfectly.'

Before she could make her way towards him, Adrien jumped out of the crowd, in front of her. From his eyes, she could tell he was panicking.

"Mari, hey, did you see me drop my ring?" He pressed.

"Ring?" Marinette asked.

"The one I always wear. The silver one!" Adrien stated.

"No." she answered, "I'm sorry. I didn't notice it. We can go back to where we were and see if It fell off. Maybe, someone kicked it under a table or something?"

Adrien nodded and followed her towards where they had been. He looked through the crowd.

"Where's your boyfriend?" he asked.

"Talking with other people about his father's business." Mari shrugged.

"Oh." he answered, "So, uh, how long have you guys been a thing?"

"Oooh, maybe he likes you. Robin, you need to step you're game up. Someone is trying to steal Ladybug from you."

'Yeah, right.'

"Be silent. This isn't a commentary show."

'Thank you, Robin.'

"Two years." Marinette answered, quickly.

"Nice save. Using how long you have been coming to the League, I'm assuming."

"Oh, that's nice." Adrien replied.

"Incoming."

"Miss Dupain-Cheng." Gabriel spoke.

"Hello, Mr. Agreste." Marinette smiled back.

"I couldn't help but notice that you came in with young Damian Wayne." he declared.

Mari answered back, "Yes. He is my date for tonight's event. We figured since we were both coming, why not announce our relationship?"

"I see." he spoke, not noticing his son wilt at her answer, "I was hoping you would come work for Gabriel. I understand Audrey still has an invitation open for you, as well."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Agreste, but Damian has offered me my own studio." She announced, "Not an internship. He will be paying for the building and I will take care of the rest. My boyfriend has confidence in my work."

"Well, Miss Dupain-Cheng, good luck to you." Gabriel stated, "Will your studio be here in Paris?"

"No. I'll be leaving Paris at the end of the week to Gotham." Marinette declared.

Adrien quickly turned to her in shock.

"You're leaving?" the model exclaimed, to which she nodded, "Why haven't you said anything?"

"Adrien." Gabriel growled.

"I've been so busy and my apartment can't really contain my designs and equipment." Mari answered, "I've been working out of my place and have been so focused on my commissions."

Damian created a distraction by throwing five silver platters at the giant windows, as if they were shuriken. People began to scream when all the windows shattered at once. Many believed it was the work of an akuma and started to scream. Many began to push people out of the way to get towards a door, faster. Marinette took notice of Gabriel leaving during the middle of the chaos, leaving Adrien behind. Quickly, an akuma appeared out of one of the scared party-goers.

"I have him."

Adrien began to look around the room, after he lost sight of Marinette. He spotted her again, hoping to see her transform into his Lady.

'She had to of taken the ring!'

Adrien noticed bits of the ceiling beginning to crumble above her head. He watched through the chaos as the ceiling began to collapse overhead.

'Transform!'

Damian grabbed her arm and pulled her to his chest, as he dodged the debris. Marinette sobbed into his chest. Damian picked her up and ran out of the building with her. Watching his friend cry in the arms of her lover, he realized it wasn't her. She wasn't Ladybug.

'Shit! Where the fuck is my ring?'

Marinette jumped out of Damian's arms, as he moved them to the side of the building.

"You're positive you have eyes on him?" Marinette questioned, getting into Ladybug mode.

"Yes."

"Spots on." Mari spoke.

"Claws out." Damian whispered.

"Can you creep up on him and knock him out?" Ladybug asked.

Damian smiled, evily, "I was trained in stealth."

"Do it." she replied, "I'll deal with the akuma."

He nodded and followed Signal's directions. There stood Gabriel Agreste in another room of the building, transformed as Shadowmoth. Damian quietly snuck up on him and used one of the techniques his mother had taught him to temporarily paralyze someone. Shadowmoth was caught off guard as he collapsed to the floor.

"My apologies, Shadowmoth," a new cat like figure spoke, taking the brooches off of him, "but the hunt is over. I have acquired them, Ladybug."

Ladybug quickly destroyed the akuma and announced, "Shadowmoth has been defeated. This plan has been in the making for along time."

Paris began to cheer in happiness.

With help from the Batfam, they were able to clear out certain evidence out of Agreste Manor. They placed Emilie and Natalie into a hospital. Gabriel was still paralyzed on his right side; the doctors believed he had a stroke. Adrien was temporarily staying at the Bourgeois hotel. Gabriel lay in the hospital bed upset. At the foot of his bed was Ladybug and Chat Noir's stealthy replacement.

"Your days are over." he growled, "I'll come back!"

"The miraculous will be out of Paris, tonight." Ladybug replied.

"You-" he hissed.

"Do you realize I have to kill your son, Adrien?" She asked, causing him to freeze, "I know he's a sentimonster. The question is was he always a sentimonster or is the real one hidden away like your wife?"

"My wife wanted a child!" Gabriel declared, "We couldn't have one and that was all she wanted. I jus wanted her to watch him grow up."

"Adrien is sucking the life out of her." The Guardian stated, "It's one or the other; not both."

Gabriel paled at the news.

"Will you kill her son, who she did everything for, just to bring her back? Or will you give him the life she wanted for him?" Ladybug questioned, "She will remember everything."

"We will find them again." Gabriel stated.

Ladybug sighed, "No, you won't. I've asked the Justice League to take them off planet and onto another. They could bury it on the center of Pluto or send it to another planet that Earth could never reach. No one will ever find them again."

Hawkmoth sagged in defeat.

"Adrien doesn't know." he spoke, "He had nothing to do with this."

"Then, let him live his own life, like your wife would have wanted." The Guardian whispered, "Spend time with him. The Justice League will be keeping an eye on you and your movements from now on."

Ladybug walked up to Adrien Agreste.

"Ladybug, I had no idea-" he began.

"Chat, I'm sorry." she whispered.

"Huh?" the model stammered, "Did you steal away from Plagg? You replaced me?"

"I had too." She answered.

"When did you find out?" Adrien asked, "Did you-"

"You know we've been getting help from the Justice League." Ladybug spoke, "At one point I had to recharge and someone was able to sense Tkiki. They came along hoping to sense ShadowMoth's kwamis. I had to take him from you; they sensed you were in danger."

"I don't understand!" he cried out.

She sighed, "Your father was Hawkmoth."

"No!" Adrien exclaimed, "We ruled him out!"

"He got smart. He threw us off his trail." Ladybug continued, "He won't go to jail, but he will be under Justice League surveillance. They will know every keystroke on his computer and be able to listen to every phone call. You can still have your father; be thankful you are not losing him too."

Adrien sagged in defeat, "What happened? Did he really have a stoke?"

"The temporary chat snuck up behind him and knocked him out. We think realizing he lost the miraculous caused the stroke." Ladybug declared.

"Why?" Adrien asked, "Why did he-"

"Your mother is very ill." She admitted, "He wanted to heal her."

"That's it?" he shouted, "All these years? All of Paris' pain and suffering, the nightmares.....it was for my mother?"

"I'm sorry." The Guardian apologized.

"Can I know who you are?" Adrien questioned, "You promised."

"I wish I could, but you're too close to him." Ladybug answered, causing him to pale, "Plagg is in good hands for now. I will be giving up my mantle today. I won't even remember you; I don't want to cause you anymore pain. Can you really handle seeing me everyday when I won't be able to remember my own name?"

Adrien's eyes began to water.

"I wish you a good life, Chat." She smiled, "Find love. Be happy. Your father can no longer design. Gabriel will likely fall so you won't have to model anymore."

He smiled through his tears.

"Do what makes you happy." Ladybug declared, before leaving.

"Are you sure that was a wise thing to do?" Damian questioned.

Marinette nodded, "He deserves to be happy. The Justice League will have him under heavy surveillance and if he starts to follow in his father's footsteps, I'll use the Peacock to undo him."

"I thought I was meant for the Kwami of Destruction." Damian smirked.

"Oh, shut up." Mari scoffed.

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events @animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[livwritesstuff]

more more more divorces dads steddie!

ask and you shall receive and all that jazz :)

part 1

If someone were to have asked Eddie even just one year ago if there were any downsides to dating his ex-husband, he’d…well, he’d actually have a lot of follow-up questions because, seriously, Eddie did not put getting back together with Steve on the Bingo card of his thirty-fifth year of life (not because he didn’t want it, to be clear, but because it was so goddamn unlikely that it would be like throwing away the whole space).

Once he got through those follow-up questions though, he’d have an answer.

There is one sole downside to dating his ex-husband and it’s that Eddie still splits custody with this guy, and because he and Steve are trying to take things slow for Rozzy’s sake (and for their own, a little bit), they haven’t let her know yet that they’ve rekindled things, which means following their normal custody schedule like it’s business as usual, so finding child-less time together isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Eddie really only ever has a free night when Steve is busy, y’know, being a father to their kid, and the daytime, when Rozzy is at playdates and summer camps, is a no-go too because even though Eddie’s job is flexible, Steve’s nine-to-five is not.

Thank fuck for sleepovers, honestly, and for Rozzy being old enough to really enjoy them (and not need to be picked up in the middle of the night), because that’s been their only saving grace.

Eddie actually finds it kind of funny that there’s more logistical challenges with dating his ex-husband than with dating, like, any other person.

Eddie commented on this to Steve (in the shower together, because Rosalind is away at one of those aforementioned blessed sleepovers), and when Steve replied, “I’ll have to take your word for it, man” Eddie finds himself gaping at him because what the fuck does he mean?

It’s been nearly a decade since they split – of course Eddie’s dated since then. Sure, no one all that serious (certainly never serious enough to introduce to Rozzy), and no one he wasn’t secretly measuring up to Steve in one way or another, but still!

There's no goddamn way the same isn't true for Steve.

“The fuck does that mean?” he asks, pressing a little harder against the way Steve is leaning against the tiled wall of the shower.

Steve only shrugs.

“Steve. You can’t honestly think I believe you haven’t dated anyone since we split up.”

“I mean,” Steve shrugs again, “If someone tried to set me up I wouldn't say no, but I never really…I dunno. Nothing really ever felt right, I guess. For me, anyway.”

“But…why?” Eddie can’t help but ask, because he's feeling kind of baffled about this, to be honest. Like, for as much as Steve’s been going on about how good Eddie looks or whatever (and he can keep that up – Eddie doesn’t mind), Steve too has only gotten better to look at over the years (which, frankly, Eddie didn’t even think was possible). It's basically a statistical anomaly than someone else hadn't already swooped this guy up while Eddie was too stupid to realize what he was missing.

“C’mon, man,” Steve says, “Obviously I was hoping there was at least a ​​small chance we’d sort out our shit.”

“Oh, obviously?” Eddie repeats, but he knows there’s a big, dumb grin on his face because he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t spent the years wondering what would happen if he never got over Steve, wondering if it’d always be this dirty secret in whatever relationship he ended up in that he was deeply, madly, painfully in love with his ex.

He is deeply, madly, painfully in love with his ex, for the record, except Steve's not exactly his ex anymore (fine – it's sort of a weird grey-area at the moment), and with him it doesn't need to be a secret. With Steve, it's not a secret because it's reality, crazy as that still kind of is to him.

It's real though, and to prove it Eddie reaches up to flop Steve’s soapy head of hair over to one side and then he kisses him long and slow, except it's only kind of a kiss, because they're both smiling too much for it to really be a kiss, and Steve's hands are cool on his waist compared to the heat of the water, and Eddie can still sort of feel the sting of a hickey Steve left on his collarbone that made him feel like he's twenty years old again, and the solidness of Steve's chest beneath his hands is reminder enough that they aren't twenty anymore in the best way, and even though they lost their way a bit back there, the day is still young.

And they've got nothing but time.

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟕: 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐀𝐘

𝐂𝐖: more blackmailing lol, minor mentions of anxiety from both aphmau and reader, reader’s dad suggests self defense with a pocket knife but he’s not serious, possible bad translation of spanish pls if anyone is fluent let me know if it's wrong lmao i only know beginner level

𝐀/𝐍: next chapter is finally out guys!! i hope the obnoxiously long word count makes up for how long it took to come out lol

𝐖𝐂: 7,300 +

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

despite your better judgment, you didn't mention a thing to your mom about gene when you got home yesterday. what were you supposed to tell her?

"oh, hey! sorry i'm late today, i went to buy cigarettes with a delinquent from school who holds the outcome of the rest of my high school career on his phone! no biggie, mom!"

yeah, that would go insanely well.

you did text aphmau about it, and she reacted exactly how you expected—reaffirming exactly why you weren't going to say anything.

aphmau: we have to tell our moms!! that's awful!!

you: no!!

you: i already know it was bad, i don't need the biggest lecture of my life and possibly being grounded on top of already knowing it was a bad idea.

you: i usually tell my mom about these things but not this time

aphmau: :(

aphmau: well we can't just let him get away with it?? what if they get us in more trouble

aphmau: that would be just as bad if the pictures got out

you: i know i know

you: i don't have a plan yet but we'll work it out.

you: sorry that's not super reassuring but

aphmau: no it's okay

aphmau: i don't want to tell my mom either

aphmau: knowing her she might pull me out to be homeschooled again

you: the good thing is we at least are with each other on this

aphmau: yeah, that's true :')

aphmau: okay, i'm going to try to forget about it and get some sleep

aphmau: good night!

you: good night aph

laurance also texted you later that night—of course—with how observant he is and how loyal he's made himself out to be you'd be shocked if he didn't ask you more about it.

laurance: hey :) how are you?

you: hii! i'm good :) 

you: how are you? did you win against o'khasis? 

you: sorry i didn't come back to see the game after school 

laurance: not gonna lie i was a little sad you weren't there :,) but it's okay

laurance: T-T and no

laurance: but i already knew we wouldn't

you: that's why you lost!! 

you: you should've believed you'd win!!! 

laurance: hey!! tell that to my teammates lol i know i'm the best

you: wow cocky much

laurance: nuh uh it's not being cocky if it's true :P

laurance: hey

laurance: can i ask a question?

you: what's up??

laurance: i just was thinking about the whole thing that happened at lunch

laurance: i know i can't tell you who to hang out with, but i genuinely really don't think you should hang out near them at all

laurance: they can be very

laurance: influencing

laurance: i know cause when i hung out with them i ended up getting into some bad stuff

you: bad stuff? 

laurance: just stuff i'm not proud of

laurance: like pressuring me into vandalizing and smoking and drinking

laurance: i thought they were cool so i didn't say no when i should've

you: i know you said you had a history with them but i had no idea 

you: they made you do that? 

laurance: technically i had a choice??

laurance: i just made the bad ones

laurance: i really regret not saying no to them sometimes

you: well i can tell you're nothing like that now laurance 

you: it was a year ago but you were also a freshman 

you: i think it's really respectable that even after that you choose to be a really good person now who makes the right decisions 

laurance: that means a lot actually, thank you.

laurance: but that's why i wanted to ask you about it

laurance: cause i know you're also nothing like them so

laurance: i just wanted to make sure they weren't like, pressuring you or trying to threaten you to do something?

...shit. you can't go around or avoid the question now. should you really lie to him about this?

you: yeah i get why you're worried now 

you: i promise i haven't been pressured into anything and if they try i'll completely drop them 

laurance: hey if something bad happened and they're making you hang out with them

laurance: everyone knows by now that you're a good friend and a good student

laurance: so don't be scared to say something

the thought is comforting, but he doesn't know that it involves one of the most influential girls in the school.

you: it's just, complicated

you: i don't want to get into it right now but i just think i can handle the issue on my own

you: for now 

laurance: i really don't like this

laurance: but if you think you're fine then i won't stop you obviously

laurance: just know that i'll trust you over anything they try to hold over your head, okay? you can always come talk to me

you can feel your heart painfully twist in your chest.

you: thank you. you're an amazing friend laurance 

you: if i need help i promise i'll let you know 

laurance: okay, if you say so

laurance: and i know i'm pretty cool B)

you: the coolest B) 

you: good night laurance! see you tomorrow 

laurance: good night :)

while laurance was pretty popular, how much clean up work on rumors could he do compared to ivy and gene's influence? not everyone would believe him, and who's to say he wouldn't be affected by the rumors for sticking up for you?

you've already been friends for a few months now, but you don't want him to suffer because of you. and who's to say he won't get tired and drop you because of it? he seems like a super loyal friend, but would he die on a hill for a girl he just met this school year?

the walk to school with aphmau was quiet. you could practically feel the anxiety looming in the air around the both of you, zapping any urge to start a conversation. you hadn't felt like this since the first day of school here, your fingertips and cheeks feeling like pins and needles while your chest felt heavy with a sense of dread.

maybe a part of you was hoping that if you simply acted like it didn't happen, everything would blow over and be dropped. after all, messing with you couldn't be that fun, right? right??

wrong.

"leave us alone." aphmau says, her voice surprisingly quite firm as she glares up at the three delinquents, who had blocked the two of you off in the empty hallway.

how did you always manage to end up alone in the hallways?

"nuh uh." zenix quips back, laughing with a teasing smile at your friend.

"aw, c'mon. after our bonding walk you're already mad at me again?" he directs his question at you, mocking fake sadness. "tell the smaller kitty that we're friends now, kitty."

"don't call either of us that!" she protests, her grip she had on your hand tightening. a quiet comfort to you, but probably mostly her.

"why not? kitty's a cute nickname. when people give you a nickname it means they have a special affection for you."

"oh, so you like us?" she sarcastically raises a thin eyebrow, lips forming in a frustrated line.

"hm," gene hums, seeming to seriously consider her question, dark eyes darting between the two of you. "you? not really. i kinda like her, though."

aphmau huffs. "then why did you go out of your way to bother us?"

"i just like messing with people. thought that was pretty obvious, no?" he scoffs. "and you two, especially you little missy, make yourselves the perfect targets."

you suppress a tense sigh.

"which is exactly why you two are skipping with us today," gene says simply with a shrug, face smug as he leans on the wall, hands shoved in his pockets.

"excuse me?" you ask incredulously.

"you heard me. let's go." he lifts himself from the wall, not opening the conversation up for any more questioning as he leisurely walks away from the classrooms.

aphmau sends you a panicked glance, amber eyes round. the trio walks ahead of you once they see you both uneasily following along, beginning to whisper among themselves when a looming tall boy nearly runs into the two of you from around the corner.

you recognize him as that aaron guy, who outside of aphmau's stories had gained an even larger reputation of getting into fights and winning. he gives you a once over, making you tap your thigh nervously before you watch his nearly black eyes dart down to aphmau.

the short girl gives a very direct "hmph!" before turning away from him, grabbing your arm, and dragging you closer to the group. her distaste for him seemingly was much larger than what she held for the shadow knights.

you glance back to see aaron watching you two walk away from him, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape in shock. truthfully, it was an amusing sight, and you have to stop yourself from laughing at his expression when his eyes dart back to yours.

his mouth snaps shut and he rolls his eyes, quickly turning away and stalking off down the hall without a single word being muttered.

gene huffs out an amused laugh. "see? that's so funny. no one but you of all people is able to look that guy in the eye. now c'mon."

you and aphmau stare at him, faces unamused.

"if not, i'm sure your friends and the rest of the school would love to see my photography skills!" he grins, raising his eyebrows challengingly.

soon you find yourself following the group down the sidewalk, with aph clinging onto your arm. you could feel her hands tremble nervously against your blazer, and every once in a while her head would dart around with a guilty look in her eye.

"if you get us into any more trouble than just skipping—" she starts, only to swiftly be cut off by the leader ahead.

"relax. you're both just going to get to know us better. we're gonna hang out and then get some coffee later. no biggie."

"you drink coffee?" aphmau questions.

"yep. dark and bitter."

"calm down, edge lord. drinking black coffee doesn't make you any cooler." you grumble, earning a tiny chuckle from both aphmau and surprisingly zenix.

"after our last little walk together and you still don't like me?" gene sighs, shaking his head and clicking his tongue.

"i can't say buying cigarettes is a fun bonding experience for me, sorry to say." you quip back.

"...you know what, fair enough, kitty. i get both of your little goody-two-shoes attitudes—well i don't really get it, but—i'll strike you both a deal." gene turns to look at the two of you as you cross the street, walking towards an older park. "if you two still don't like us after skipping today, i will never ask you two to skip class again."

"you promise?" aphmau stutters, leaning forward with hopeful eyes.

"i promise!" he concurs. "i just want you to know us outside of the rumors you've heard."

you think you'd believe laurance's "rumors" over these three's catty smirks any day.

"we're not all that bad." gene shrugs, before turning to see sasha and zenix ahead going off the path into some shrubbery.

aphmau glances up at you, before looking back to gene with a resigned sigh. "ok, fine. deal."

"great!" he grins before waving a hand towards the shrubbery. "ladies first."

you stare at him as aphmau walks forward, raising an eyebrow. "and what if this is an elaborate plan to get us alone and murder us?"

"oh, kitty, if i wanted to do something to you i would've done it when you walked home with me." he scoffs, throwing an arm around your shoulder and guiding you with him after the rest of the group.

"uh-huh." you deadpan, earning a carefree chuckle from the boy.

when the shrubs part for a clearing, you look up to see an old brick bridge for a train track. it was likely abandoned a long time ago based on the trees and plants overgrown on the top and the layers of graffiti plastered on the sides. under the bridge ran part of the large river that goes through the whole city, though this part seems to be a thinner and slower-moving part of it.

gene releases you from his arm, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walks ahead a few steps.

truthfully, it was a really cool spot. you'd even hang out here alone to draw or read in your free time if you had come across it on your own. you doubt that's what the shadow knights did here, though.

suddenly, your phone buzzes, and you look down to check the notification.

kate: hey, you're not in homeroom today?

kate: you sick?

you curse under your breath, looking to aphmau who was distracted by something sasha was saying, before looking back down. your fingers hover over the keyboard as you contemplate what to say.

you: ugh yeah sorry i didn't tell you 

you: probably just ate something bad, i'll be better by tomorrow 

kate: ohh alright then

kate: i'll see you tomorrow then, hopefully?

kate: feel better! and rest up!

you: thanks kate! i will!

guilt eats at you from the inside of your chest, screaming at you how wrong you were, how you need to tell your friends the truth.

you slide your phone back in your pocket.

"alright, you two. make our new friends here feel welcomed. they'll be joining our group here pretty soon." gene muses, holding his hands out to prompt zenix and sasha to actually talk.

"join? they said yes?" sasha raises her eyebrows, eyes shifting to aphmau and you in mild surprise.

"not yet." gene shrugs. "i'm not gonna force a good thing. they'll join on their own, but they've got to get to know us, first."

"ah, i see." sasha's eyebrows relax to rest in their usual unimpressed position.

zenix scoffs. "neither of them are hardcore enough."

"shut up, zenix."

the boy comically huffs in response and crosses his arms, like an annoyed kid who just got told off. aphmau seems pretty uneasy by his aggressive demeanor, slowly shuffling to stand closer to you again.

"i swear zenix has the same temper as that zane kid. speaking of him, why don't we let him in the group?" sasha looks over at gene.

your eyebrows furrow at her words, the middle ro'meave brother popping into your mind. he was rude to you last time, for sure, but him? in this gang of kids? the thought of it makes you feel strangely... protective over your friend's bratty younger brother.

"zane is just a poser. plus, he's no fun to play with. he was so eager to join us it made him look pathetic." gene rolls his eyes, and you can't help crossing your arms. "i'll give him until next semester to see how he does on his own, then maybe i'll think of it."

you look at aphmau, who is also looking at you with an unappeased expression on her face.

"make him work for it, huh?" sasha muses.

"what's the point of us having an exclusive group if we just let any emo kid in?"

"we're not emo, though," sasha says, dark purple fingernails ironically raking through her chopped side swoop bangs.

"not us. zane."

"oh, whoops. my bad."

gene ruins his fingers through the mess of dark curls on his head as he starts walking back where we just came from. "anyways, i'm going to get the stuff. i forgot it. keep them entertained."

"kay. hurry up." sasha says, stretching her arms out before sitting down on a soft patch of grass by the river.

the stuff?

"stuff?" you repeat, lip curling up and eyes squinting in accusation.

gene snorts. "don't worry, kitty. it's not drugs if that's what you're thinking."

he walks off, not giving any further explanation before he's gone.

"it's stuff for our art. you'll see." sasha looks over to you and aphmau, waving you both over to sit next to her as zenix stalks off closer to the bridge.

"i don't think i like the sound of that." aphmau whispers before you both settle onto the grass.

sasha turns to look at you both, a small amount of interest shines in her deep purple eyes. you want to laugh at how cliche it sounds in your head, but they really looked like someone had carved out two amethysts and stuck them into her eyes. black eyeliner lined her eyes, one side a little smudged on the corner. she managed to pull it off, somehow still looking like a little doll with her smooth porcelain skin.

"so, what kind of grades do you two get?"

"huh?" aphmau blinks.

"are you a straight-a student? average? dumb?" sasha presses.

"oh, uh..." your friend stutters, picking at her fingernails. "so far i've gotten all a's and some b's. i'm not that great at math though."

sasha hums, her eyes lazily drifting over to you.

"...pretty much all a's." you say, curiously looking back at her. why did she want to know? was she gonna try to get you to do her homework?

"cool. good to know we're not letting in anyone with bad grades."

"you mean you guys don't?" aphmau unashamedly asks, her face baffled.

sasha doesn't seem offended by this, the corner of her lip lifting. "nah."

"but you guys skip almost every day? that doesn't make any sense, i don't get how that works." she insists.

"we're not dumb. we get bad grades because we miss class and tend not to listen to the teacher, so that obviously reflects on our records. it's an attempt for the "man" to control us with these letters that we find such validation in." sasha returns.

so they do make bad grades.

"huh...? that was really a mouthful."

oh, aphmau.

"just words, sweetheart." sasha returns with a tiny smirk. "honestly, gene, zenix and i are very smart when it comes to our studies. we're just bored because nothing challenges us in academics anymore. hence why we skip class. if i'm going to be bored, i don't want to be bored in that building we call school."

"oh, i see. well, that doesn't make any sense." aphmau says.

sasha hums with a raised eyebrow, prompting her to elaborate.

"it's just... if you're so smart that you don't feel challenged, why sacrifice your good grades to do nothing? why not go the extra mile and challenge yourself by making a presentation? or writing a report on how the teachers can help you more?"

sasha quietly stares at her, expression blank—though eyes seemingly deep in thought.

"the teachers don't know everything, they're trying to figure life out, too. so if you're super bored, why not teach them back?" you add, bringing up your knees for your chin to rest on. "not caring and being lazy every once in a while is fun, but i think everyone should have a goal. otherwise you'll find yourself stuck in the same place."

"hm. i can see why gene took an interest in the both of you." sasha looks out to the river as she says this, lips pursed.

suddenly she reaches out a hand, the dark metal rings and bracelets she wore clinking together. "give me your hands."

"what, why?" aphmau asks cautiously, watching as you place your hand on the older girl's one.

"i do palm readings as a hobby. just a little thing i like to do." she says, her thumb already tracing over the lines in your hand as she brings it closer to her face.

"you're not going to do something weird are you?" aph leans back.

"just give me your stupid hand." she flicks her free hand demandingly.

aphmau goes quiet, nervously giving up one of her hands to the girl. sasha brings both of your hands side by side, pursing her lips as she compares the two.

"interesting." she says, a few moments passing before she continues. "both of you have lots of creativity. i'm not shocked by the lack of openness for feelings and emotions on your hand—" she nudges up your palm. "—but apparently aphmau is more open. which isn't a lie if we were comparing you both together... but neither of you are open. otherwise you two wouldn't be here in the first place."

you and aphmau make the same little noise of surprise.

sasha's eyebrows furrow, as she stretches out both of your hands. she focuses on yours, humming in stumped confusion as she mutters to herself. "that's weird. i haven't seen a fate line like yours. it's all... broken up. what does that mean? interesting..."

"quit holding hands with them, sasha!" zenix suddenly shouts from where he had scaled up to the top of the bridge, looking down over all three of you.

"quit being emo, zenix!" she shouts back without a second of thinking, looking up at you with an eye roll. "so glad there's girls now. he's—"

"don't tell me how to live my life!"

sasha ignores his response, looking at aphmau's palm. "your life is pretty dull. according to your palm."

"uhh..." aphmau's shoulders slump.

"i don't need a fake palm reader who learned all her lessons from the internet to tell me how to live my life!" zenix continues.

"ignore him." sasha rolls her eyes again. "he's just yelling to yell."

"i like yelling!"

"i like when you shut up!"

"come make me!" he challenges, puffing out his chest.

"kitty." sasha coos at you, batting her eyelashes. "be a dear and go shut zenix up for me? i want to relax and take a nap before gene makes you do the hazing initiation thingy."

aphmau flinches. "hazing? initiation? what initiation?!"

sasha lays down, closing her eyes and ignoring both of your protests.

"what—are you serious?" aphmau huffs, as sasha continues to ignore her words. "great. we didn't even agree to join and they're talking about an initiation. what even is the initiation?"

aphmau looks up to zenix, before her round eyes slowly drift back to you. "...can you go ask him?" she whispers.

"huh? why can't you?" you cross your arms, hushing your voice back

"because he scares me! you go talk to him!" aphmau complains back.

"i'm not gonna talk to him. you do it."

"no, you!"

"you!"

"oh! suddenly i'm feeling really sleepy..." aphmau fake yawns, lying down in the grass like sasha and closing her eyes.

"oh my—whatever! he's not even scary, you baby!" you quietly shout, standing up with a huff and ignoring the quiet snickers from sasha.

you turn to march over to the bridge, looking up to the top where zenix was kicking stray rocks into the river. "um, zenix?"

"what do you want?" he looks down at you, eyes narrowing. "did sasha get you to do her dirty work for her already? of course you'd listen to her." he snorts.

"no. i was just wondering what this initiation thing was about?"

"i can't spoil the surprise." he grins, and you deadpan. "just know that if you do it, you'll be super hardcore in my book."

"right, because i'm so desperate for your approval." you raise your eyebrows, resting a hand on your hip. "what, skipping class isn't hardcore enough for you?"

zenix huffs, flustering rather immediately at your words as he turns to kick a rock rather harshly into the water. "skipping class isn't hard. it's whatever."

"why are you so huffy and angry?"

"why are you so calm and happy?"

you shrug. "cause it's better."

"says who?" he quips, tilting his head at you in a challenge.

"says me."

"well aren't you important." he sarcastically huffs.

"so are you."

he looks down at you with a strange look.

"yeah? says who?"

"says me."

the shrubbery rustles and leaves crunch, signaling gene was back from wherever he had gone off to.

"looks like you all are getting along well." he says.

"she's weird," zenix says, still looking at you with a confused expression.

"well we like weirdos, don't we?" gene raises an eyebrow with an amused chuckle.

"...i guess," zenix says, walking along the bridge to find a way down.

"you two, come here," gene says, the bag in his hand rustling as he waves you and aphmau over.

"so," he starts when you're both standing in front of him. "how do you like our group so far?"

you glance at aphmau, before speaking up first. "you guys are fine, but we aren't into the whole skipping school and breaking the rules thing."

gene raises an eyebrow, looking over to aphmau when she pipes up.

"yeah, we're not interested in joining. i just want to finish this day of skipping and leave."

he hums quietly, looking off in thought. "...alright. i'll let you two go."

"really?" aphmau eagerly says, eyes wide and hopeful. "and you'll delete the pictures?"

"who said anything about deleting the pictures?" gene shoots down the second request in a heartbeat, snorting in amusement. "i'm keeping them, i just won't make you two skip school again, is all."

aphmau scoffs in displeasure.

"now now, no need to get too worked up." gene tsks, waving the bag in front of you two. "there's still something else i need you both to do for me before i let you go."

"what is it?" aphmau huffs, crossing her arms.

"you're going to tag a wall with the shadow knights logo."

"what?!" she squeaks, jaw dropping in horror, and you feel your face drop.

"you heard me." gene snickers watching your eyes drift to the hidden bridge that had a ton of graffiti on it already.

"no no. not there." gene smirks, nodding his head for you two to follow him.

your group walks back to the more polished part of the path, where gene points to a clean concrete wall that would most definitely be seen by people going by on their walks.

"here." he grins, gesturing to the wall.

"no way!" aphmau stutters, stepping closer to you with that same horrified look on her face.

"we're not criminals. that's illegal." you say, glaring up at gene who merely widens his smile, leaning down by his torso and tilting his head at you.

"you're a criminal as long as you're mine."

you wrinkle your nose. "you don't own me or aph just cause you have those pictures."

"oh? then i'm sure garroth and the rest of your friends would love to see said pictures of the school's precious sweet ivy getting the shit beat out of her by two rando new girls." he shrugs, straightening his back and dangling the bag in front of him. "it's up to you..."

you snap your mouth shut, before yanking the bag from his hands. "just shut up."

gene ooh's in amusement, stepping aside with a smirk as he watches you march to the wall, crouching near the bag as you drop it and pulling out the spray paints from inside.

"...if i do this, does it mean i'm part of your group?" aphmau nervously asks from behind you.

"nope, it just means that you're doing the work of tagging this place for me. plus, if you do this one time, i'll never ask you to tag this place for me again."

"tag any place." you interject, looking back to send a harsh glare at him.

gene looks you up and down, before quietly chuckling and raising his arms. "any place." he concedes.

"okay, fine." aphmau shakily agrees, coming up beside you to help.

you've never spray painted before, and neither had aphmau, but surprisingly the logo ended up looking pretty good. if it was done in a place you were allowed to tag and not vandalizing, you'd probably be proud of it.

but you were vandalizing, and you felt the opposite of pride as you and aphmau backed up from the wall, smelling like spray paint as some of it dripped from your fingers.

"not bad." gene grins, hands on his hips as he observes your handiwork.

"looks pretty great." sasha's voice pipes up, she and zenix appearing behind you two.

zenix crosses his arms as he analyzes the logo. "...maybe you two are hardcore enough." he admits.

"you're both free to go home now. we're gonna go to the coffee shop down the road if you two want to join us." gene says, snagging up the bag and cans to likely use later.

you and aphmau shake your head no at the same time.

"no thanks..." she stutters quietly.

gene shrugs, leading his two accomplices along the sidewalk. "suit yourselves. let's go."

you and aphmau silently watch as the group leaves, glancing back at the graffiti you both did with dejected looks on your faces. aphmau suddenly snatches up your hand, quickly walking away.

"i don't wanna be caught next to that." she mutters and you agree, keeping in pace with her if not speeding up.

you both walk in silence for a bit longer before you feel aphmau's hand tighten on yours and hear a quiet sniff. glancing over in surprise you see her round eyes filled with tears, her nose red as she looks away from you.

"i'm sorry i'm crying, i just feel so awful that we did that and so mad too..." she stops talking when her voice shakes a bit, burying her face in her hand with another sniffle.

"me too..."

your nose tingles as you rapidly blink to make your own urge to cry go away, breathing in a frustrated sigh. suddenly your feet stop on the sidewalk and you're tugging onto aphmau's hand, bringing her in for a hug.

"it's gonna be okay." you reassure when she hugs you back. "i'm sorry i let it get this far—"

"it's my fault, too." she interrupts.

"—we can go back and clean off the paint tonight. then we'll tell gene we're done with him and deal with the consequences." you finish, patting her back and pulling away from the hug. "we shouldn't let people like him make us cry, right?"

she looks up at you, blinking away the mistiness in her eyes and gulping down her urge to cry as she nods. "yeah! we can go clean it! that's a good idea. then no more shadow knights and... we can deal with the rest later."

you smile at the optimistic look in her eyes, patting her shoulders as you both continue to walk home.

☆

cleaning concrete without a pressure washer or at the very least a strong hose is extremely hard. you honestly wouldn't force a prisoner to do this as work.

you and aphmau had been at it for ten minutes already, and you'd barely even scrubbed off a layer of the graffiti.

"dang it. i should've brought paint thinner." you groan when your hand slips and you scrape your finger against the rough surface. "this sucks."

"we're gonna be here all night," aphmau whines, focusing in on one spot and groaning when there's no difference under the sponge. "but we have to get it off. this is horrible."

you hear quiet footsteps nearby, and before you can react to it a bright light shines over the two of you, blinding the two of you.

"hey!" a man's voice calls out, the tone so stern and aggressive that you knock over the soapy water bucket and drop your sponge with a gasp.

"uh!" aphmau startles, before she realizes who it is, her words tumbling out of her mouth. "oh, officer! we—"

"we've been looking for the kids who've been tagging this place with that logo." he cuts her off, tone completely accusatory.

to be fair, you both decided on wearing black hoodies and sweatpants, making you look much more suspicious than you already did. but didn't he see the sponges and literal soap bucket next to your feet?

"wait! that's not how this happened! we didn't—"

"save it! the criminals always return to the scene of the crime. come on, you're both coming with me." he says, pacing over to you both and snatching you both by the arms, likely thinking you'd both run away.

you find yourself at a loss for words, mouth gaping and eyes filling with tears as you're dragged along with the cop. you couldn't even defend yourself, completely in shock that you were getting in trouble in the first place.

being in the back of a cop car on a tuesday night was never a possibility in your mind. yet here you are, at the ripe age of sixteen, being escorted to your parents on a school night.

aphmau hasn't stopped sniffling, the only thing keeping her from bawling her eyes out was likely the fact that you were in this with her.

to aphmau's relief and to your chagrin, the cop stops at your house first, marching you right up the sidewalk to your door and knocking, looking down at you like you had kicked a puppy and laughed. you knew nothing would change this guy's mind, so you merely watch your front door and hope it was your mom who opened it.

it wasn't, and dread fills every fiber of your being when your dad's figure stands in the open doorway. he looks at the officer in confusion, then down to you, his eyes blown wide open. his jaw clenches as he whips his head to the staircase where you were supposed to have retired for the night, before looking back at you with an immense amount of disappointment.

you shrink in on yourself when he doesn't say a word to you, turning to look at the officer who greets him. eyes drift and zone out on the floor as the officer explains why he's here, only to be startled by dad's deep voice.

"do you have any proof?" he asks, stopping the officer in his tracks.

"i... sorry?"

"do. you. have. any. proof? or do you like throwing around little girls into your car for a little power trip instead of catching actual criminals?" your dad grits, making you lean back against the doorway.

"that is not—sir, i—" the officer stutters, taken aback by the sudden accusation.

"let's talk." your dad yanks you inside as he steps outside next to the officer and shuts the door.

oh shit.

you hear a call of your name and turn to see your mom staring at you in confusion, her arms crossed over her robe.

"um..." you start, looking to the ground in shame.

"was that an officer?" she asks, eyes wide as she shuffles over to you.

immediately you burst out crying, leaning in to hug her while every emotion you had kept in about the situation tumbled out in fat tears that dripped down your face.

"i'm sorry! i didn't mean to do anything wrong!" you hiccup as mom shushes you, wrapping her arms around you and rubbing your back.

"just take a deep breath and tell me what happened."

and you do. from what you told her about ivy to the things she didn't know about gene, from the pictures to the gas station and the vandalism. the disappointed look on her face stings as you talk, but at least she was listening. with how distressed you were behaving and the fact you had never done anything like this before, mom clearly was open to hearing your side of the story on this.

as you finish your spill and calm down from your hysterics, the front door opens. aphmau comes in first looking uneasy, with your dad following behind.

"call sylvanna to come over here." he says, huffing and giving you a stern look as aphmau sits next to you on the couch.

"...what did you tell the cop?" you ask, eyebrows pinched together as you glance at the window to see the cop car not even parked in your driveway anymore.

he huffs. "don't worry about it."

...that's incredibly unsettling.

mom makes the call as you two wait in tense silence on the couch, and it's probably only a minute later tops that all hell breaks loose.

"¡aphmau!" sylvanna bursts through the door, hair a mess and pajamas crooked as she hops on one foot, sliding her flip flop off of her foot. "¡te juro que si estuvieras besando a un chico te golpearía con mi chancla tan fuerte que volarías hasta el año que viene!"

aphmau squeaks, shrinking into you like she was planning on using you as a shield.

"sylvanna, calm down. while what they did was disappointing, they weren't rebelling against us or being deceitful." mom says, interrupting sylvanna's heated rant and placing a hand on her shoulder. "actually, let me explain it to you in the kitchen."

aphmau sighs in relief as both of the moms and your dad go into the kitchen, voices quiet and hushed.

"she is so terrifying." she whispers to you, staring at the coffee table and tapping on her leg. "this day has been the worst."

"yeah..." you sigh, wringing your hands together. "i wonder how much trouble we'll be in when they're done talking about it."

"i don't want to be grounded." aphmau groans.

"me neither."

more tense silence passes, hushed voices barely heard from the kitchen before they all return to the living room.

sylvanna steps forward, arms crossed. "mija."

aphmau tenses. "yes ma'am?"

"i am," she inhales. "very disappointed that you didn't tell me about this when it was happening—"

the girl's head drops.

"—but. you did try to fix your mistake. and for that... i'm proud. pero si esto vuelve a ocurrir te juro que estarás castigado hasta el día de tu muerte. there will be no next time!"

aphmau cringes, before nodding. "yes ma'am..."

the two soon are out the door and on their walk home, seeming as it had already transitioned from late tuesday hours to the early hours of wednesday.

after a good talking to from both of your parents and truthfully some more crying on your end, you found yourself lying on your bedroom carpet, arms spread out as you tapped your feet on the ground.

it was just difficult to sleep now, your mind racing with what to do when gene will inevitably confront you again. your phone buzzes.

aph: are you still up ;-;

you: yeah, can't sleep 

aph: me neither...

aph: i'm so glad my mom didn't overreact

aph: i was sure i was a goner

you: yeahhh 

you: good thing my mom talked her down 

aph: yeah she's a life saver

aph: speaking of which i think both of them are talking to zianna on the phone right now about everything

you: what!! 

you: oh no i really hope garroth doesn't overhear the details or anything if they're talking loud 

you get halfway up from your floor, crawling over to your door and pressing your ear against it, straining to listen while glancing down at your phone again.

aph: oh crap i didn't think about that!

aph: hopefully not

aph: if he hears it from his mom i think he'd take it well, but that's still kinda awkward

you: yeah no kidding

you: then he'd probably tell the rest of our friends too

you: which wouldn't be the worst if they believed us

aph: yeah

aph: surely they would

aph: right???

you: i think they would 

you: the thought of drama with ivy veleno being public knowledge in the school makes my stomach hurt though 

aph: ugh i know me too

aph: i guess our faces look extra victimy to the bad kids

aph: because why are all of them out for us

aph: literally what did we do T-T

you: that's what i'm saying!! like since day one 

the conversation outside of the door is too muffled, so you slowly crack open your door and crawl towards the staircase to get a better listen.

"i swear if any boy puts a hand on either of my girls i'll go up to that school myself so help me!" you hear zianna shout over the phone.

"he didn't put his hands on either of them or trust me my husband would be in jail right now for murdering that little boy." mom says.

"i would be too!" sylvanna shouts, sounding the most heated of the three.

you: omg did you hear that??

aph: yeah

aph: we're zianna's girls ;p

you: and your mom is completely down with murder it seems

aph: i feel like we knew that already though

"oh, that just makes me so mad! they're so sweet and innocent, they shouldn't be having to deal with that punk ass kid! i swear i'll murder him too!" zianna huffs.

you: zianna cusses?? hahaha

aph: out of our three moms she seems the least likely lol

"well all i know is that if i find out either of them, especially my mija was covering up the fact that she was smooching with some boy i swear!!!" sylvanna gripes.

"i know when my daughter is lying and she would've told me if something like that happened. and i know you know aphmau was telling us the truth, too." mom sighs.

sylvanna sighs loudly. "yeah, you're right. i just worry about her!"

you: your mom is still stuck on the boy thing?

aph: yeah :/ she's kinda crazy about that stuff

you: my mom is protective over that kinda stuff too

you: but geez

aph: i know right?

you flinch as the door across from you opens, revealing your dad from behind it. he stops when he sees you hunched by the stairs, raising his eyebrows at your behavior.

"what're you doin', kiddo?" he asks, taking a step forward and sighing when he faintly hears your mom on speakerphone.

"...i couldn't sleep." you whisper back, clutching your phone to your chest.

he sighs again, pointing to your bedroom door. "well, sitting at the top of the stairs on your phone won't help. go to sleep."

"...okay..." you mutter, getting up and staring at the floor as you scurry back to your room.

a gruff call of your name stops you, and you turn back to see dad's contemplative face.

"and put away that phone."

"yes sir..."

"and..."

you stare at him, rocking on your feet. "...yeah?"

"...i put a pocket knife in your backpack."

"wha—" you guffaw. "dad, i can't bring a knife to school?!"

"says who?"

"oh my—says me! dad, that's illegal!"

he huffs. "not if no one knows."

"i just got in trouble for illegal stuff now you're encouraging me to stab people?"

"just one, possibly."

"dad, i am not taking a knife or weapon of any kind to my tenth-grade english class that is insane."

"i did it when i was picked on."

"you stabbed someone?" you ask in horror.

"no... but the threat worked well enough."

"okay well, i am a lot more likely to go to jail for that now than when you were a kid."

he sighs. "alright. but i won't be mad if i get a call from the school saying you kicked that boy in his balls."

"okay, dad! i'm going to sleep now." you back up, eyebrows raised.

dad's hardened eyes soften to amusement as he chuckles. "goodnight, baby girl. i love you."

"love you too, dad."

you shut the door behind you with a sigh.

you: got caught eavesdropping

you: gonna go to sleep before i get in more trouble

you: and before my dad suggests another torture method or weapon to use on gene

aph: your dad is so scary

aph: that seems like something he'd suggest

aph: and good night!

you: haha well he was just kidding

you: i think

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[justxtalking]

my thoughts on this hxh ABCD mess

Being a Togashi fan is such a roller-coaster of emotions. I think I went through all the stages of grief in only one day.

Half of me believes he's trolling.

To be honest, it's better to just take it with a light heart. Togashi is known for joking around about himself, his health and his own story. (I wasn't in the fandom at that moment, but I wonder how everyone reacted when he said everyone was going to die). I consider ending D to be so uncharacteristically him for so many reasons I could talk for hours about it. I find it ironic how he gave a stereotypical-shonen-like ending when he talked several times (even in this interview) about how he likes to surprise himself (and his readers) when he writes. Some other times he explained he likes to play with these shonen stereotypes and just do something different. I mean, he's been doing it since the beginning of his career.

And I'll be honest, ending D sounds like a mockery of shounen.

(And I feel a bit dumb taking this so seriously if he's joking.)

(Though, this also may be the case of "the boy who cried wolf" and he's actually saying the truth this time.)

The other half of me thinks he's being honest.

If he is actually giving us a back-up ending, I find it incredibly sad. Not only because of his health, but also because he felt pressured enough to give us an ending, no matter its form and no matter if it's an ending he doesn't even consider anymore. He shouldn't have been on that position.

It is important to take into account that this is not an ending he wants or even considers anymore, it is an ending we can take if he's not able to finish HunterXHunter. We need to realize there's a lot of circumstances we don't know about or may not be considering for him to give us this ending as an option at that moment. And what type of ending too.

I seriously want for him to be able to finish Hunter X Hunter the way he truly wants, not worrying about anything else. He's thinking about three plausible scenarios that may see the light of day or not. And no matter what he ends up choosing, he should choose whatever he wants. It's his story, no ours. And it may even be his last story (I know it's sad, I want him to keep on writing forever, but it's true). Honestly, a part of me wants him to choose the A scenario because that's where seems to be less drama, but actually I want him to choose the C scenario. Even if that ending is Gon married to a lizard with beautiful lizard-babies in the Dark Continent. And that's because that ending is what he would actually want to do with the story.

(I really am curious about it, though. I know I wouldn't be able to guess even in a million years, but I'm still curious. And I so want to read the whole interview and see the whole episode, since there were more questions about other things.)

For the shippers

I know this feels like a punch in the gut or something even worst. I felt it too. And it's totally valid to feel like we do and not agreeing with ending D. Even as a non-shipper because what do you mean, Gon did what?

Everyone who follows me knows I'm a proud Killugon and Leopika shipper. And I will keep on being one even if Hunter X Hunter transforms into Boruto and I have to see Grandpa Gon (the more I say it, the more it sounds like a joke).

Honestly, I always considered the gay ships were never going to be explicitly canon.(Kishimoto traumatized me). Not because of lack of material, but because there's a whole context and a lot of external circumstances we sometimes forget about (and Kishimoto traumatized me). There was a reason why Togashi couldn't make his queer manga in the 90s, which, I'm sorry, I don't consider it to be that long ago. And there is a reason why he can't explicitly say that characters like Pouf or Hisoka are gay (despite being totally obvious and them being villains).

I still find it admirable how Togashi included so many queer elements in his stories and got away with it. And he's a mangaka that does shonen. And not just any shonen, a battle manga in Shonen Jump. (He included a trans man in Level E and made him transition. The way Togashi explains some things about this character may be a bit problematic, but Togashi still did this). And those queer elements are still there and are still as canon as when he wrote it the first time. Pouf is as gay as he is dramatic. And Ging and Pariston still have that sexual tension (and I'm 100% sure they fucked or they are going to fuck in the near future or both). And Killua is still the queerest boy I've seen in the longest time.

Sometimes, I think there's a possibility of Killugon being canon. But only because of Togashi's history and tastes. He may feel a bit rebellious and just go with it, he's so unpredictable that I'm always expecting anything and everything from him (I mean, he did what he did with Hisoka and Illumi and so many other things). However, he's an introvert, I'm not sure if he actually wants the attention he would get if he actually goes with it. And that is something we should also respect. (I do think the most plausible option is Killugon to be as ambiguous as they are now.)

In relation to ending D, I don't think we should worry that much. At the end of the day, it is an ending he doesn't consider anymore. (At least we can sleep well knowing that the ending he wants to do doesn't have to do with Grandpa Gon). What's important is what he writes and does in the manga. That is what speaks louder than anything.

Though, I do think it's going to be a pain in the ass interacting with other fans. I'm not looking forward to it. (At least they are going to stop saying that Kurapika will die, I hope!). What I'm looking forward to is the new Killugon content in the fandom.

My personal take

Gon =/= Ging. I could say a lot about this, since one of the things I love the most about Hunter X Hunter is what he did with these two and Gon's arc, but I think this is clear enough.

So!

After saying all of this, I think the only thing we should consider as canon is the manga. If he doesn't write it, it didn't happen.

If he's saying the truth, he may be thinking about how to finish Hunter X Hunter sooner or later. Even though so many fans say that they want an ending, I feel like we are not ready. Not even for Gon marrying a lizard and having beautiful lizard-babies in the Dark Continent.

I hope I was coherent enough. I have no answers, only thoughts and thoughts! I feel like we can only speculate and ending D is so confusing because how did we even get there?

I may be going through all the stages of grief again tomorrow, but I wanted to share my thoughts (at least partially). I may erase it if I feel too uncomfortable, but yeah!

Conclusion: Let's just take it with a light heart and wait to see what happens! (I know it's hard).

[pines-eyes]

An early statement from my TTRPG game

I'm going to start posting my statements here for funnies, I'm also attaching the audio recording to them. Enjoy reading these, I suppose! I promise they get better as time goes on, lol

"Fog of memories"

Edit: It won't let me add an audio file, so I'll let you know when I post everything to Youtube

[Click]

The Missing (statement)

Statement #0830905 Silas Bell. Regarding the Road trip, he took to see his brother in Bristol—audio Recording by Pine -ing. Personal-..... Personal recording. 

Thank you for agreeing to see me. I know this is hard to believe- I mean. I don’t have PHYSICAL proof, but I know what I saw. I know what happened in that car ride. I did not imagine that. Sorry, let me start again.

My name is Silas Bell. I’m a student at the University of Dundee School of Medicine. I’ve been living in Scotland with my Fiancée, Daphne Lunckenbill, for a few years now. For reasons I would rather not say, she and I don’t keep in touch with our immediate family, but we do keep in touch with my older brother Geroge Bell. He has been working at a hospital in Bristol. When I say “keep in touch” I mean, “I send him a letter on every major holiday, every birthday, and every major life event” but he seldom responds. My beloved Daphne thinks that I should stop writing to him. “He never responds darling, why waste the ink?” she would say to me. But he’s my brother! My only family. How could I NOT keep him in my life?

 Oh, how I miss the times when we were children. I often think about how I wanted to return to when we were young. He taught me the insides of the human body and I would listen intently and practice on a feedal pig in my dress that I could find. Oh, how mother was so cross when I would study. But George would always support me. Well, he did until I told him I was a boy. After that, he wouldn’t write and he wouldn't teach me when he came home from school. But I still would write to him, even when Daphne and I ran away, I wrote to him and only he telling where he could find me. 

About two months ago now, I finally received a letter from Georgie. The letter said that his wife was going to have a baby, and he wanted me to be there. I was ecstatic! My brother, my only family wanted me to be there. So I kissed my fiance goodbye and got onto a carriage to make my way down to Bristol. Distance be damned I thought. On the way I thought about everything I was going to tell Gereogre. But that's when I noticed the fog. I remember looking out into the blue sky, counting the white fluffy clouds I see, blinking my tired eyes, and seeing nothing but dense fog surrounding the carriage. I shouted to the footman, wondering if the fog would impact the journey and if we had to stop for the night. But I got no response. The silence made my ears hurt. It shouldn’t be this quiet. So, against my better judgment, I opened the door to the car, and stepped out, intending to what I was looking for or find out what is going on. But what I came across, will stay in my nightmares. 

When I stepped out my boot sunk deep into the mud surrounding the carige. Stuck to my trousers, it was wet, icy cold, and thick. The cold and foggy air stuck to my bones as I tried to investigate the footman. I called out to him again, but still nothing. I so started to fear the worst and began to feel myself hyperventilate. I called out once more and forced my way to the front of the carriage. But there was no one. Now that I think about it, I can’t even recall the footman's name. All I knew was, was that I alone. Alone with no one to call to, no one to lean on. I tried to move, to scream, to cry. But I was stuck, and sinking deeper, deeper into the mud on my boots, on my clothes making me squirm with discomfort. I called for my mother, my father, or my brother. But the fog grew thick and filled my lungs more with every call. It was suffocating, and I felt like that little girl once more. 

Not the little girl who taught herself the insides, or who found joy in dressing in her brother's clothes. No. The little girl was shut into a small room, without food, without warmth, without her brother, all because she wanted to be like him. She wanted to learn, she wanted to be a boy. But it wasn’t allowed. I thought about my family as I sat there in the wet mud. 

When I was a child, I told myself that my family would have loved me more if I was a boy. I saw how they treated my male cousins. How they held them to the light, how they could do no wrong. “They were honorable,” they said. “They would fight for this country, like a man should. He must take care of his family. To Love his wife and his sons. To care for their every need. But it is a woman's job, to be silent and bear those sons for her husbands. To create the next generation of men to run this country.” I was told that every day until I met my fiance. I had no sisters, no female cousins that I could meet. I had only my mother, but she always looked at me with those cold, unforgiving eyes. I thought when I told her I was a boy, that I was the second son she and father wanted they would too love me. But they beat me and sent me to a reform school. There I was allowed to meet my Fiancée. They told me his name was Edward. But she told me, her name was Daphne. And with a sob, I told her my name. My name. It was the first time, I felt I was truly seen. Truly wanted, Truly loved.

With the fog in my lungs, and that memory of Daphen, I cried out to before succumbing to the darkness. I cried her name out loudly, hoping she could hear me. Then nothing.

When I came too I was lying in a hospital bed In London. I was hypothermic, dehydrated, malnourished, and was missing for 7 days. My carriage was found about 2 miles away from where I was found. Daphne was the one who found me, but she won’t tell me how, just that “she felt her heart break and had to hold me close, to find me,”.  It doesn’t matter, I want to be close to her. I want to never let go of her. The doctors told me it was a robbery gone wrong, but they didn’t believe me when I told them about what happened. The day I went missing, it wasn’t foggy, in fact, it was a cloudless night. “You could see the stars”, they said. Daphne says she believes me. That’s all that matters. One of the nurses told me to come here and tell you my story so that you would be able to explain what happened. So here it is

Thinking about it now, I suppose I got what I wanted. I wanted to go back and be young again with my brother. Turns out Geroge never sent me a letter, in fact, he’s not even in this country. But I think. I think I’m happier this way. Alone with my wife and without him. And I don’t want to change that.

Statement ends.

      The Missing

This is one of the statements I found in Elais’s office. I just grabbed it without thinking. The date says it was written in 1883, so this is one of the first statements, ever, for the archives, or the isnuite. It's kinda crazy to think about. This is over 200 years old.

 I don’t think Mr. Bell knew who if anyone was going to read this. I think he just wanted a way to tell his story. And I can respect that. I- I mean I, don’t work at the institute anymore. So, follow-up was tricky. The body of the footman was never found so, I’m thinking maybe he was some avatar of the lonely. Or Mr. Bell could have simply wandered into the pocket of fog. Fog of memories I guess.  But this is all Gusse work, I mean, this statement is over 200 years old and everyone mentioned died. Although…..

[a static is heard, and the answer comes out of her mouth]

Silas Bell died one week after his wife Daphne Bell. They are now buried together in Schottland. In a grave that will never be lonely, so long as they have one another,.....

[The static stops, she is confused]

…Family is a tricky thing. They either support you wholeheartedly or die before they can see you succeed in life. My..own family was the latter now that I think about it. I can’t say they didn’t support what I wanted to do, just that. No one lived long enough for me to figure it out. Good lord I’ve been here for about five years now and the ONLY worthwhile thing I've done is join bloody a cult. Would they even be proud of that? Would they even still want me?

[She snickers]

I mean, I don't have it all bad. At least, my mother had the decency to abandon me and not turn me into some pet project of perfection. I do remember telling someone that my folks died of cancer. It wasn’t a COMPLETE lie, my dad DID die, my mom left and I was left with my little sisters to raise. At least they loved me when they died. 

End recording

[Click]

The Missing

[The missing coughs with something stuck in her throat]

It…been a month now. Since I ran away. I’ve found I can go about a month without reading one of these, without repercussions.  And I only have a handful. Maybe three or four I didn’t really count. Luckily I’m not TOO reliant on these yet. Not like Gertrude was. It's an odd feeling. This change is interesting, maybe I’ll finally be wanted.

But, I have to keep moving. I think I saw policemen asking for me the other day. I’m not really safe until I find what I need. I just wish Gertrude would have left me that list like- wait

[Static grows as she begins to understand]

I- don't, I don’t need the list. I know Who to ask!

[Click] 

Soon, these will all go on my YT, I'm first posting them here to get comfortable with people reading/ hearing my writing. Like I said, I do improve as time goes on, this was the first one I have written.

Characters in this statement belong to Andrew Joseph White, as a thank you for being a big inspo for me

[jellyfishjuliet]

WELLS: Eventually, Impulse gave way to Kid Flash and Kid Flash, in turn, morphed into an adult Flash. Do you think those changes necessarily served Bart Allen well? WAID: Nah. Listen, Geoff Johns and I made our peace about this. I love Geoff. Geoff's one of my best friends, and Geoff is an incredibly talented writer and is the only writer alive who loves these characters as much as I do. And I don't blame him for paving over the Impulse identity. The shoehorning of Impulse into Kid Flash was, as I understand it, not his idea. It was a wrongheaded edict passed down by an editor that never got the character and has made it his mission to purge DC of anything even remotely fun and lighthearted. But even as Kid Flash, he was still largely recognizable as Bart. And then he became the Flash, and a more boneheaded move you couldn't have made with that character. Geoff and I fought against it, we fought like you wouldn't believe. Steve Wacker, who was slated to be the original editor, Geoff, me...we all fought the good fight, knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that squeezing Bart into that costume would go against absolutely everything about that character. And we lost. We lost every step of the way. Ultimately, someone else's ego outweighed my opinion about what Bart would and wouldn't do, but that's how it often goes with corporate-owned heroes and is the price you pay dealing in them. Ask Keith Giffen sometime how many lectures he's had to endure about what Lobo "would and wouldn't do." So, in their infinite wisdom, DC Editorial made Bart The Flash, and that relaunch was one of the greatest critical failures in all of DC publishing history. WELLS: Really? WAID: In terms of sales they had on the first issue and the sales they posted by the fifth or sixth issues, it was just a crashing, crashing disaster. It was one of the most disastrous, embarrassing launches in DC history. And we were all " I'm not trying to sound all "I told you so," because it broke our hearts because we loved that character " but we warned them. We told them, "Don't do that, it won't work." Sure enough, six issues in, they realized they had a mess of a series they couldn't make work, no matter what. At that point, Dan DiDio called me up, a courtesy call, and said, "So we're going to kill Bart. I just thought I should let you know." My honest feeling at that point was like, "Dude, you killed Bart years ago." [mutual laughter] "That's so not Bart in that suit. I don't care. Everything in comics is cyclical. Bart'll be back eventually at some point anyway so, sure, go ahead and put the bullet through his head. I don't care." I figured Bart would be better off dead than misunderstood and mishandled.

Thinking about one of my favorite Mark Waid interviews of all time. Bro really said, my son is better off dead than misunderstood and mishandled 😂😂😂

[soraviie]

in the public eye.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader ━ navigation

━ about: crack, fluff, not so mildly suggestive - the holy trinity

━ a/n: requested by anon, hope you like it :) This of course greatly varies who the hypothetical MC is. If a familiar figure obviously there's more freedom in pointing them out in public but I'll go on the path that MC is ya know a normie. Also, this sits sort of borderline on realistic meaning privacy is essential so obviously the guys wouldn't be extra chatty

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: The thread itself started relatively innocuous with only a comparison of two pictures found in an absolutely godless place where all voices shrieked into a void - Twitter. But then unfortunately it went viral and soon the internet was flushed with conspiracy theories with hats more frazzled and shinier than those professing that the Earth was actually donut shaped. But it garnered eventually so much traction that the veil of the ocean, one between I-army's and K-army's was like a miracle in the night breached and soon weverse too was caught by a storm.

"He's in love he's got to be," writes a lovely person underneath the brief username of min_yoongi_has_no_business_being_this_fine

"Yeah, with that wife and seven children of his kekekekeke," writes cutiepiemomo.

jijinjung: take a look at the picture year ago, it's the same setting! meaning joonie went there twice now but he's so much happier in this latest picture

jwehopeshoe in reply to jijinjung: it could be the break...

furryspecialist: you mean to tell me that the ultimate boyfriend material is a boyfriend? shocker

chimspuppykitty in reply to furryspecialist: naurrrr we're not going to ignore how big of a player Namjoon looks like? that man better call himself pro pitcher cause he's throwing it out ToT

seokjinslefttoe in reply to chimspuppykitty: dude collects little shoes what player please??? T-T player of our hearts only

Personally with having nothing else to do it was amusing to scroll through this madness but then one specific comment catches your undivided attention.

a_nameless_stan: Whether or not, Namjoon is dating we must still be respectful. That said, I have to say he looks in love because he IS in love. It's quite a shame he is not free to share the pictures of the gorgeous person who captured his heart. I can only imagine that this person glows brightly like a sun. These pictures must be the only way he's able to share this person even if it's his face taken by them. But I believe that love like this is shared, you can see the feelings in his eyes as he's looking at the photographer and the photographer clearly values him as all the pictures are warm and visibly adoring. I wish them only the best and hopefully one day we'll be mature enough to see a picture of them together without the one-sided wall of anonymity.

seokjinslefttoe in reply to a_nameless_stan: say, you don't happen to be Namjoon himself do you 0_0

a_nameless_stan in reply to seokjinslefttoe: don't be ridiculous. My name is susan. I am clearly 17. Also what's up with your username?

"Ugh, it's been such a long day," Namjoon sighs the second he's one step inside the bedroom, dropping his entire weight on top of your legs.

"Oof! Hello, Susan of clearly 17," you tease. "Does that mean that I'm taking advantage of you?

He glances up through the hood of his jumper, leaking light water. It must have rained on his bike ride back home.

"So you saw that?" he gives an appeasing smile, one he pulls to be forgiven almost immediately.

"I did," you answer and grasp his cheeks planting a light kiss on his forehead. "Though I must say one of these days you'll let my name slip by."

He nuzzles into the blanket and quickly you sink your fingers into his hair. He was growing it out and you had become particularly fond of tugging at it.

"Don't remind me. I nearly shit myself last week when they asked me the whole thing of whose moans were those in the song's background," he whines, voice muffled as his face pressed into the duvet.

"Yes, that was rather risque," you admit. "Though I guess those seven children of yours won't just make themselves."

"Shut up," he mutters with an audible smile.

furryspecialist: so that was totally namjoon right?

seokjinslefttoe in reply to furryspecialist: yeah, gonna delete my whole account now this is too embarrassing :')

YOONGI: He moves in silence. Like a cat. In an absolutely firm statement of his nature, no one can ever expect what Yoongi is up to, where is he? What is he doing? So it's fair to say, you're more protected with him than behind the wall of the Pentagon. There are no slip-ups, no mentions except the happiness that radiates from within him. The soft smiles are accompanied by glances to the phone to read a message of yours. It's as much of a cryptid hunting as any to find if Min Yoongi is dating. And if yes, then who? The most dedicated proof is most often cited in the form of a peculiar vlive made in the middle of a late evening on an unsuspecting Wednesday. No picture, no explanation, just thirty minutes of a black screen and Yoongi's soothing voice coming through - to talk, to discuss what's in store, to calm down people whose mental wellness hinged on this peculiar cat man.

As you knew better, being the infamous cryptid themselves, you saw him hunched over a kitchen table, talking absent-mindedly on his phone. Moving about as quietly as possible you remained as much as a mystery as you always had been but Yoongi who'd been nursing a drink the whole night had worked himself into a delighted mess. He tries to be serious but sees you and giggles. And then worse begins to ask you questions.

Someone wonders whether he's been working out lately and with a shy yet simultaneously cocky chuckle, he meets your eyes and you know the shameless gleam in his eyes. You fear it. He's being too aware of his own power, it's no good for your strength.

"I dunno, why don't you check?" he answers with a giggle and a faint flush to his cheeks and invites you greedily to grope him. You only shake your head with a smile of your own as you continue making tea.

He reads another question.

"What's beautiful to you?" he reads and then lifts his head once more to pin you down.

"What I see in front of me."

You snort.

"Shameless," you mouth at him and he gives a demure, blushing smile, partially hidden behind a palm.

"You still love me though," says he and ends the live stream. To most people it remains just as another addition into digital mishaps of drunk BTS but for the dedicated folk, the lone sailors to whom your existence was their personal white whale, this was the one single harpoon they could wield. All to no avail of course given how when asked about it and whether or not he was hiding away a whole partner, Yoongi merely graces them with a polite, inscrutable dryness.

"You're imagining things," annoyingly, he smiles.

JIN: To the larger public they are but trifle comments.

"You want to marry me?" he speaks out loud whilst reading a question simultaneously occupying himself with eating rice. "I'm sorry, you'll have some stiff competition. You won't survive."

"Mr Kim, what would you like to say about the rumours of you starring in a k-drama?"

"I'd say I have my hands full. Being a romantic interest sure takes a lot out of a guy."

They're so offhand and weird and spoken with such a tone of amusement that inevitably they get brushed with him being himself. Exactly how he wanted.

"You're making me look like a crazy jealous person," you glare at him lowering the phone to see him rush into the private room in a restaurant.

"Dearest Kim Seokjin, if you don't accept ARMY's love, I'll fly out to personally present it to you T_T," says an anonymous commenter an hour ago. Jin levels the screen with a cool sarcasm.

"How fast can you run?" he asks. "Someone might chase you back where you came from."

This is, of course, the incident you're referring to though it could be any other hundred little remarks.

"Well, you are very protective of me," he shakes his shoulders, innocent, a man never done any wrong as he shakes out his umbrella. "Let's eat?"

You scoff with no malice.

"I don't plan on sharing you with millions of other people. What would I even get? A single strand of your arm hair?"

He winks and gives a flying kiss before eagerly diving behind a menu.

"If you're lucky."

But as they always do the tables turn and in a family event, Jin clings to you like a plastic wrap around a sandwich, his palm never leaving the small of your back, body heating your side like an ambulatory radiator.

"Mr Sir, what is this?" you whisper, navigating the social maze of his relatives.

"My cousin," he sneers with an angry pout. "Keeps staring at you. Have some people lost their shame?!"

"Look who's crazy protective now," you nurse the champagne glass with a slimy sense of satisfaction. He rolls his eyes but the corner of his lips quirk.

"I don't plan on sharing you either."

"Not even a clone?"

"Not even a clone. There's only one World Wide Handsome."

HOSEOK: Expensive. Expensive is all the world sees. The frequent gifts of luxury, mostly of clothes and lingerie, a single comment observing that his own fashion seemed to gradually involve a part of couples set - a jumper, a hoodie, a belt. But beneath it all, you're in his music, he needs to mention you, needs to show you discreetly to the world. You're a mention, an abstract form of lover he's both chasing and running away from. Perhaps it's an apology, a symbol of guilt for not spending enough time, for all the limitations you have to endure.

If he could, all his pictures would be of you but he can't. Though you're always present. Your laugh in the background of his Instagram stories, a part of an apartment whose decor is clearly not his own can be partially seen in the photos, he can be seen laughing with someone in the background, taken by an unsuspecting person. And when people question him - how he feels, what are his worries - he always ends them with "a friend convinced me", "a friend helped me through". One would assume that "a friend" is an inappropriate term for a partner. How does one friendzone their partner, some would even ask but "a friend" means so much to him, it means he has a wall to lean on, his fortress of comfort for when perfection surrounds him whole.

"Mr Jung, that is a very interesting bracelet," an interviewer remarks and Hoseok immediately twiddles with the hematite, recalling the moment of purchase, a rainy, overcast day but possessing the rare moment of being able to walk with you around the city.

"Thank you," he bids politely. "A friend and I got a matching set."

Namjoon shoots him a light glare. He was always pushing it.

"Must be...an important friend," the interviewer chuckles awkwardly, sweating about whether or not he'd be in the middle of a torrent scandal the next morning.

"They are," Hoseok beams with a bright smile.

JIMIN: Hides you away like a pearl in a seashell. He himself reveals little of his private life and being forever protective, it naturally extends that no one knows about you, except for very few people. In a perfect world, he'd get to flaunt you but the world is flawed and he tries to keep those flaws far away from you.

The only things to notice are shifts in his demeanour, his hobbies, and his likings. More than once he's been asked of sporting perhaps a colour you professed you liked on him, eats your favourite candy, has your favourite dolls hung on his bag, your gifts he wears like a badge of honour (and your clothes as well) but it is one shared between the honourable - you and him (and Taehyung most likely).

"Can I post this?" you ask him as he lays his head in your lap, purring if he could.

"Lemme see," he squints at the picture of two shadows against the wall - a tightrope between anonymity and publicity, one he walks quite well. "Sure, it's cute."

For a while, he goes back and you assume he's sleeping but then he mutters into the slowly warming apartment air.

"Do you feel bad that I hide you away?"

"Not particularly. I'm not an idiot, I know what I got myself into when I agreed to date you."

"Thanks," he grumbles dryly. You lean down to kiss his head.

"I just mean I appreciate your efforts of shielding me from all you endure. To have #Jimin come after me," you shudder. "Thanks but no."

"Still, it's normal for couples to post their pictures online..."

"And it's normal for some to not post anything at all. Don't stress about it too much, we have everything here. No need to parade it."

He hums and hugs your legs tighter.

"There is something I would like us to do," he mumbles, forcing your hand to glide over his hair. "I'd like to make a movie."

"A movie?" you echo, confused.

"Yeah, the kind where you have no clothes on."

You click your tongue and flick him on the back of the head.

"Ah, you pervert."

TAEHYUNG: Wants to scream your name from every rooftop in the world and wants to gatekeep you forever. Occasionally posts a weird picture of a piece of your hair or an eye or a hand, awfully cropped and extremely blurry. He's a blurry sort of guy.

"Taehyung-ah why are you going around photographing random people kekekekeke" writes user tete._.tata on weverse.

"I'm crazy lol" he responds.

"Taeyung-ah what's with the random body parts??" writes user StreamHobiYouCowards

"Beauty. P.S. I like your username."

And while the rumours surrounding his love life are incessantly flowing like the Niagara waterfall this is by far not the most suspicious he's been or to be frank, the weirdest thing he's said.

But miracles do happen, old dogs learn new tricks, a river changes its bed and Kim Taehyung shares what he feels, though still sufficiently obscure.

"It's a horrible feeling to miss someone and be able to do nothing about it," he remarks nostalgic on a short v-live. "You know I need to have some right here," he gestures as though putting you by the waist in front of him. "To know they're safe and healthy. Not let my eyes off them one bit."

"Wouldn't your eyes get tired," writes user YoongiMarryMeIfTaehyungAllows.

He sees the familiar username and blooms into a broad smile.

"Hello, good to see you," he bows in front of the camera. "You haven't stopped by in a while. I must say I do not allow the marriage to happen. Nope! Not going to happen!"

"Aw shame," responds user YoongiMarryMeIfTaehyungAllows. "But wouldn't your eyes get tired? To have them always on a single person...What about blinking Mr Kim?"

"I can always use eye drops," he explains sweetly.

"Mr Kim you are incorrigible," writes the same user and he nods, fluffy curls flopping like clouds in a breeze on his head.

"I am," he agrees. "But since I didn't give you permission to marry Yoongi, I guess I'll have to do it instead."

The chat goes absolutely berserk but user YoongiMarryMeIfTaehyungAllows remains cool and composed shooting only a clearly well-thought-over proposition -

"What if we both marry Yoongi?"

He thinks about it for a second.

"That would be agreeable."

JUNGKOOK: You're like an optical illusion or a spirit. Always there in the mirror or the reflection. When he's working out you're (forced to be) there, when he takes a selfie you're in a stray reflection. Memes are made that this could be the new sight test opticians could use but at least it doesn't go much further than that.

What they don't know how cemented you are into the streams of trusted few who can see his hidden posts or videos set to private. Has memorized your dates in full 10-minute videos and your face is permanently etched in the database of his secret Instagram account. He views them as small pieces of art, one shard of a diamond that makes you you. More than once has sent the wrong stupid couple selfie to the wrong person. Bang Si Hyuk being the first victim, Yoongi being the second. He's happy for the two of you, he is, but seeing yet another picture of Jungkook's hand on your ass as he's cuddling makes him throw up a little bit in his mouth, he's not going to lie.

"Please don't tell me you sent that picture to Bang PD again," you whimper face pressed against the bedsheets. He just had to be so menacingly cute about taking a picture of himself kissing your neck. He just had to be too god damn convincing for anyone's good so now you're facing the mortifying chance of being asked should HYBE be concerned about a possible existing sex tape.

"Nope," Jungkook frowns at the phone. "Worse. Sent it to Namjoon."

"Well it's not that bad," you sigh with some relief.

"It's the worst!" he groans.

"Oh, because your boy crush will have a certain proof of you cheating on him?" you tease and he flushes with a pout playing on his lips.

"He's not my boy crush," denies he looking like, you know, a liar.

"Sure, Mr "my happiness started when I met Namjoon"," you roll your eyes. "It's unfair you're putting such unattainable body standards on me. How can my thighs compare?" you lament the harsh reality poking him accusingly in the chest and he smiles, crossing his arms behind the head.

"I like your thighs very much," he coos, hooking a finger around the band of your underwear and letting it snap into place. "Especially would like them here," he then points at his mouth.

Unseen go Namjoon's various responses.

"wrong chat bro"

"please tell me you didn't send me this on purpose T.T"

"Jungkook hello? You were just here a second ago what the hell are you suddenly doing right now?"

"oh I know what you're doing"

"ew that's gross brb bleaching my eyes"

"also blocking you. goodbye."

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[lbulldesigns]

r/offmychest:

My little sister assaulted me but I'm somehow the bad guy because she ran away from home rather than face the consequences of her actions.

Posted 24th of May, 2021

I (20M) was recently assaulted by my (18F) sister, and rather than face the consequences of her actions decided to run away from home. And now I'm being treated as the bad because I said that it would be better if she never returned.

For context, me and my twin brother Big C were raised by our father (40?M) after our mother gave up her parental rights after giving birth to us. I have never met my mother, and this is fine because who needs someone that flakey in their lives.

Up until we were about eight it was just my dad, brother, and me. Until one month or so after our eighth birthday, our dad decided to adopt two girls. V (23F) and Jinx (a fitting name, trust me).

At first I was confused but after learning that V was biologically my sister, I got excited. At the time I mistakingly thought that Jinx must have been my biological sister also, but it turned out she had a different father. I remember asking why we were taking her in if she wasn't actually related to us and my dad growled at me to never say anything like that again, it was the first time he ever growled at me and over an innocent question no doubt.

I knew better than to ever say something like that again, I tried to be welcoming to her and although V was engaging and friendly, Jinx would not speak to anyone. She always stayed quiet and whenever our dad would go near her she would cower away and get teary eyed.

I hated how she acted like my dad would hurt her, and fully believe that this is why her therapist thought that my dad was abusive. The poor woman ended up losing her job because of Jinx's dramatics.

The sad thing is that I seem to be the only person who truly sees Jinx for what she is. Trouble.

For a while, I thought everyone else was starting to see also but nothing was ever really done about her behavior. Except to send her off to her rich uncle (maternal) who would shower her with praises for her art and grades, and give her gifts. This only made her spoilt.

I tried to counter this by reminding her that she wasn't special so that she wouldn't get a big head and all she would do was start crying and then lock herself in her room and I would be the one getting chewed out.

well, you basically get the idea.

Coming to the true crux of this post.

A few days ago, I was at home minding my own business, and trying to enjoy my gap year. When Jinx comes in and is crying, yet again.

Maybe I let my annoyance get the better of me and called her a crybaby. She stops and just stares at me, and then her face contorts into this really ugly way and she screams loudly, before launching herself on me and starts beating me up.

I was taken completely off guard and tried to defend myself as much as possible, but she is surprisingly strong despite being a skinny ass.

And she just keeps saying "I hate you, I hate you" as she beats me.

My dad came in and pulled her off of me, whilst I cradle my bloody nose (literally bloody) and I catch dad telling her to get out and I felt elated for a minuet because I thought that he FINALLY saw sense.

But after she bolts from the house my dad drives me to the hospital to make sure nothing is broken (nothing was broken thank Janna), and as we are driving home I ask if we are going to the Enforcer station. Dad looks confused and asks why, and I say to press charges. My dad states that I will not be pressing charges because an ass whooping was long overdue.

I felt shocked and betrayed and got angry, I kept asking why he's always going so easy on her.

She wasn't his daughter, not really

She was constantly causing problems with her outbursts and "trauma"

She emasculated him by getting her uncle to pay for her studies

And, she just assualted your flesh and blood.

My dad stayed silent, and I thought this meant that I won the argument. But as soon as we got home, he kills the engine and turns to me. Looks me in the eyes and tells me in no uncertain terms.

"I have tried being patient with you OP. I have explained to you again and again that your little sister is not this monster you make her out to be. Her trauma is real, she watched her parents die in front of her, and that's enough to affect a grown man let alone a small five-year-old girl who didn't know the concept of death. She experienced some shit in the foster system before finding her way to us. And I have done everything I can to help her the way she needs, whilst raising the rest of you kids. I tried to be understanding of you when you were a kid because you didn't know better, I tried to be patient with you when you were a teenager because Gods know I was a real shithead when I was younger. But you are an adult now, my patience is extremely thin. You need to start figuring your shit out because your sister doesn't, and never did, deserve the hate you throw at her"

I won't lie, this hurts. Despite how Jinx is, I do love her I just feel like I'm the only person trying to set her straight.

I pointed at my face and stated that I wasn't the one who hated her, on the other hand she saw no problem with hating me.

Dad asks why she attacked me, I said I didn't know (I didn't want him to twist my words around on me) he just looks at me and says "You're sister wouldn't just attack you without reason".

At this point, I tried to get out of the car, but my dad grabbed my arm, held me in place, and demanded again what I did.

I finally relented and said I called her a crybaby and he groans at me, I said "see she completely blew everything out of proportion". He says that Jinx shouldn't have attacked me, but then asks why I felt the need to insult her.

I lost it and said that she's always crying.

I can't walk past her room without hearing her cry, SHE IS A CRYBABY.

Dad just looked at me, and disappointment was written all over his face. Not at Jinx, but at me.

He takes a deep breath and says to me that I had two options.

I agree to go to family and individual therapy because I am an adult now, and this "petulant child" and "victim complex" is not healthy for anyone.

I continue to act the way I am, but I need to move out and start standing on my own two feet and learn what actual struggle feels like because I've had it pretty easy with life, and hopefully gain some empathy in the process.

Either way, I was never, ever going to bully Jinx again.

I spent the rest of the night in my room stewing over everything, I ignored V when she started banging on my door demanding what I did to "her little sister" before C-Man convinced her to leave me alone. But afterward, he asked me, through the door, when I was going to grow up before leaving himself.

At some point the three of them, Dad, V, and C-Man. left the house to work at the family bar. I refused to leave my room and Dad told me to take the night off to 'lick my wounds'. I fell asleep at some point and woke up briefly because I thought I heard someone walking past my door but just chalked it up to one of the others and went back to sleep.

I didn't leave my room the next morning, out of protest, but saw Dad leaving to go over to Jinx's BBF's house no doubt to continue coddling her.

However she wasn't there, and after searching the whole day, didn't seem to be anywhere.

It's been several days now, Enforcer's can't go looking for Jinx because it was proven that she left voluntarily. Apparently, that person I heard that night was Jinx scurrying off with her belongings and paperwork.

Honestly, I'm glad she's gone. But my dad is still holding up the ultimatum, he says that when she returns I will have my shit together and that he's disappointed in how unaffected I'm acting.

So long story short. My little sister beats me up, and somehow, I get in trouble instead, she runs away from the consequences BUT DAD'S ULTIMATIUM IS STILL IN EFFECT.

It's completely unfair. I'm the victim here.

Honestly, I'm considering going no contact with everyone because I'm done with JINX getting all the support.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

This is a fan fic, please read tags

[alcoh0lica]

GUILTY AS SIN

￫ summary: you lost in Silent Hill and found a pretty handsome guy, James Sunderland.

￫ word count: 3.5K.

￫ warnings: kisses, good feelings, bad words and fluff.

￫ authors notes: I ended up getting inspired by some imagines from @decay-1, @kiyokowastaken and @theawfuledges. Hope u liked!

*** I can't believe I'm here. What did I come to do in this decaying, foggy city? If it weren't for that letter... The letter. Then I remember the real reason I ended up here. A 3-hour trip because of a damn letter I received from my sister. From my dead sister.

3 years ago we came to Silent Hill to get some stupid documents of hers that she had forgotten in that hotel... What's his name again?

It turns out that on the way back we were arguing about something, it had to do with our house and our parents, her going to college and her leaving me alone with those two crazy people who only got into trouble. Well, our family relationship was quite the opposite: daughters take care of their parents. Funny, isn't it?

At first it was just an argument with silly accusations, but suddenly something changed... the mood got heavier and the fight started to get really serious. She was yelling at me, wishing she had never had a sister, blaming me for our mother going crazy. “It was because of your birth, you know, the doctors did something and she freaked out,” she said. All I know is that the fog started to form right in front of us and it started to get thick, almost as if you could cut it with a knife. That's when everything changed. Someone appeared, a creature that was just skin... but what nonsense, that doesn't exist. A person appeared in front of the car and she didn't see it, I turned the steering wheel so as not to kill whatever was there and then...

Then the car fell into an abyss. It fell several meters and flipped over, spinning and spinning and spinning. I woke up a week later in the hospital with the news that my sister had died. And it was all my fault. I started the argument and I pulled the steering wheel. If I had stayed quiet and let her run over that thing on the road, she would still be here. Marina would still be here and I wouldn't have to face the looks of disappointment and unspoken hatred from my parents, who silently blamed me for the accident.

And then, just as I'm about to leave all this behind, I get a letter from Marina calling me to Silent Hill, saying she's waiting for me at our special place, the one we used to go to on vacation when we were kids. It was crazy, of course it was crazy! How could a dead person send a letter? It was a bad joke, from some unfortunate friend of mine. But if I was so sure of that, why was I here? Why did I come back to Silent Hill?

***

I don't know how many hours have passed or how many days I've been here. I'm covered in the blood of creatures that I can't even explain what they are and so far there's no sign of Marina. I think I'm starting to go crazy. I just killed a creature that was just skin and legs, no arms, that crawled on the ground and vomited acid, or whatever it was. It almost got on my skin. The fog started to get thick again and I don't even know where I am anymore. I just passed Toluca Lake and I'm in the middle of the city. Luckily, I managed to get an axe from one of those shops where bearded lumberjacks wear red flannel. I better run.

As I turn a corner, my first reaction is to raise the axe as high as I can and prepare for a sure blow, but... it's not a creature. It's a... man. A tall, blond man, with a green jacket and blue-gray eyes. He looked to be in his 30s and very tired. He stops a few steps away from me, with a gun in his hands - which was previously pointed at me and is now above his head, telling me that everything is fine. But still, I can't lower the axe, which covers half of my face.

"H-hi... I'm James..."

I can't find the words to answer him, my voice simply won't come out. Could it be my imagination? How can there be another human being here? He looks at me with astonishment, amazed, but with a certain... admiration? That's what I can see in those eyes.

��DOWN”

He yells as he points the gun at me again. But not at my body, but at what’s behind me. Again, that skin creature. The bullet hits its shoulder, destabilizing the creature. I seize the chance, stand up and swing my axe at the chest of that horrible thing. Once on the ground, I aim for its head and split it in two. I didn’t even realize that the guy... James, was right behind me.

“Nice shot” - he says and I turn to face him.

“Are you... real?”

“Yes... yes, I’m real.”

It seems like a stupid question, but he doesn’t let it show on his face. He just answers me with a smile in his eyes. But still... still I can’t help but believe that he’s a figment of my imagination. I barely notice when I’m close enough to him to smell sweat and woody perfume. My hands slowly reach his face and I gently place my palm on his stubble, feeling the texture and warmth that he exudes. To my surprise, he doesn't react. He just stands there, looking at me and letting this complete stranger touched him. The strangest thing is that he… liked it. When he felt my touch, he closed his eyes and let the weight of his face fall on my hands. It seemed like he hadn't known what this was for a long time. What was a touch, a gesture of affection. I quickly took my hand off his face, realizing what I had just done.

“Sorry.”

“It's okay. See, I told you it was real.”

“Yeah… you are…” – we stood there staring at each other for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. There was something in those ocean-blue eyes that hypnotized me. He snapped me out of my trance.

“What are you doing here?”

“I'm looking for my sister – DEAD,” I added in my thoughts. He didn't need to know that I was half crazy with ideas. – “and you”?

“I'm looking for my wife… dead. No… look at me like that, I'm not crazy! I got a letter from her telling me to come here and find her, but it's been 3 years since…”

“Since she died…” – I added for him. Contrary to what he imagined, my expression of astonishment wasn't because he was looking for his dead wife, but rather… because of our compatible history. There was something wrong in this city… Something that drew us here. He kept looking me up and down, but without saying a word. “I believe you, James.”

“That cut must be bad,” he said, looking at my belly, where there was a blood stain over a tear. A guy with a pyramid head showed up and did that…

“No worse than the one on your face,” – a red mark with dried blood accumulated on his right cheek. This provocation drew a shy laugh from his lips.

I heard more footsteps and, automatically, I put myself in front of him – something in that pathetic expression of his made me want to protect him. I raised my axe, but he pulled me back, by the waist. It was a woman… Marina? It was… my sister!

“Marina?” - I whispered...

“James, I found you, I was looking for you, my dear… who is this little thing?” – she looked me up and down. My God, she is just like my sister, but at the same time she is different from her. She came and grabbed James.

“Little thing?” – even the way she spoke…

“Mary, this is…” – he looks at me and realizes that I never introduced myself, we just stood there lost in each other’s eyes.

“Sydney. Sydney Redfield.”

“Nice to meet you… Who is Marina? Anyway, it’s starting to get dark and I’m a little cold. Can we go, please?”

“Sure… are you coming?” – he says looking at me. But the question seems more like a command, you’re coming with me. I just nodded, feeling the letter from my sister in my pocket burn.

We walked a few more meters and, JESUS, this Mary was unbearable. The way she wouldn't stop chattering and kept bumping her hand into James's, finding a reason to touch him. Seriously, it was desperate. Just like my sister when she wanted to get a boy's attention. It was annoying me, but I couldn't say why. Sometimes I would glance at her out of the corner of my eye, but all I could see was James studying me.

We stopped on a street so he could look at that stupid map of the city again, until I saw a flower shop across the street. Everything was so calm, quiet and fog-free, that I just walked over there. I didn't expect to find so many flowers still alive in a place like this. But there was one there, almost purposefully placed in the middle of the table and alive, one that reminded me of a date… November 29th… my birthday. Hydrangeas that Marina had given me. I put my fingers to it, I needed to see if they were really real. There were colors, shapes and textures proving their truth there, haunting me and reactivating part of the story I wanted to forget. I didn't even see James coming in and looking at me.

“Syd… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Or take you out of your own… world.”

“It's okay” – that same goofy look – “I'm glad you did.” He came closer and touched the flowers that were there, but with a little more force than necessary, making them bloom. He looked sad… more than usual for him.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched… it seems like everything I touch… dies.”

Without thinking much about it, I took his hand and guided it to another bouquet that was there, gently placing his fingers on the petals.

“Don't stoop so low, James… you just need a little more delicacy and patience.” – When I looked up, he was there, just standing there looking at me with those eyes and, once again, time stopped! We stood there for seconds that seemed like hours. My God, what was it about this man that made me so paralyzed?

An electric current ran through James's body the moment I touched him. He shivered and closed his eyes, breathing a little harder through his nose. Trying to stay calm. But of course, we had to leave, so Mary shouted from outside that she was cold and wanted to go to the hotel right away, breaking us out of our hypnotic trance again. He blushed, cleared his throat and said, "I found a way to the Lakeview Hotel… we better get going."

He left the store and I was right behind him.

Lakeview Hotel… So that was the name of the hotel my sister had left the documents for. We found three keys on the counter, one room next to the other. James in the middle. Again, something that seemed intentional. But anyway, it was so good to enter that place and realize that there were no monsters or fog. Just a bed and a shower… that magically worked.

I cleaned most of the blood off my body, half of it not being mine, and decided to go out to look for… I don't know, supplies or bandages. That's when I saw Mary throwing herself at James again, they didn't even notice my presence there behind them… I just left them alone and went into all the rooms, digging up a beautiful first aid kit.

There was a little staircase and a little door too, which led to the roof. And God, what a beautiful view of the starry sky. Now everything was clearer and almost fog-free. The lack of power in the city left the stars and the light reflecting strongly on my skin. I just took the opportunity to lie down on the roof and look up… a breather amidst all the chaos outside.

“Ah… there you are, thank God” – James appeared on the roof, looking relieved to have found me – “I looked for you in all the rooms and couldn’t find you, I was… worried”. – he climbed up on the roof and sat next to me.

“Do you and Mary have something?” – I don’t know why I asked that, it just came out of my mouth like bullets from a revolver. Even I was surprised by the question I asked… He also seemed surprised.

“With Mary? No… She’s just a friend I found…” – he was still analyzing me with those eyes… I just wanted to know what was going on in that head. A desire to use my axe to open his skull and unravel his brain, unraveling every part of his troubled soul…

I was looking at him too. I was going to say something, but a hallucinating pain knocked me out of orbit. It was a tearing pain, as if an axe had been stuck in my skin and ripped half of it off. Which was what had actually happened, but I no longer remembered it. A groan left my mouth, followed by my hands going to my belly. James looked scared. He came closer to me.

“Can I take a look… at this wound?” – he seemed doubtful about his own ability to take care of someone. But I didn’t have much of a choice. I sat up with difficulty and lifted my shirt, exposing my belly and the cut… ugly, very ugly.

He came closer. He sat with one leg bent behind my back and the other open, underneath my bent legs. Again, I smelled that woody smell – only stronger. An intoxicating smell that took me out of orbit. Gently, he dipped the corner of a faded towel in cachaça and passed it over my wound. I couldn’t help but groan, but I added a “see, you can be gentle” between breaths cut off by the pain. This seemed to amuse him, after all I saw a hint of a smile.

For some reason, we were whispering, as if we were telling each other our dirtiest secrets.

“Okay. I think you can hold on until we get out of this hell and I… take you to a hospital.” – Wow, did he really care about me that much? He took care of me, he took care of my wound. Now it was my turn.

“Your turn… come here” – he was a little startled, but didn’t react. I held his face with one hand and, with the other, I wiped the dried blood from his cheek.

Once again, he seemed to let himself be carried away by the touch. He closed his eyes and I felt his breathing change, becoming faster and his pulse stronger.

It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together: a man who hadn’t seen his wife in three years… but could it be that he hadn’t seen any woman at all? How could just one touch be able to turn him off? Anyway, I looked at his face and wow, he was handsome. He was a little over 30, but he still looked young. His eyes were tired and there were red circles under the skin, his lips were dry, but they looked soft.

What was he doing to me? I had only known him for a few hours, but I felt a huge need to have him for myself, just for me… to feel his skin on mine, his lips on mine, him filling my entire being. I noticed that my breathing was also accelerated.

And now, we were staring at each other. And this time there was nothing and no one to stop me.

Without thinking much, I just kissed him. I felt his warm lips on mine.

Suddenly, a hand on the back of my neck pulled me to deepen the act we had begun. Our tongues danced in sync and our heartbeats were rhythmic. Out of breath, we pulled away and I could see in his eyes doubts about what had happened and guilt…

Guilt for a sin that was not his. It was mine. Once again, it was my fault. But this time, I didn't care one bit. I would bear this guilt to my grave.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you, you're married, you're after your wife, everything is so crazy, I don't know what got into me, I s… – I was silenced by another kiss. This time, led by him.

“Don't worry, it's okay.”

“Why do you act like this?” – again the question escaped without me even thinking about it.

“Like… how?” – confused… goofy look… I think I'm starting to fall in love with goofy men.

“Like… as if you've never been touched before. I just slide my hands over your face, and you switch off, surrendering to your world of thoughts.” – I leaned against him to prove my point, but this time, he kept his eyes wide open, looking at me. He grabbed my wrist and brought it to his mouth, leaving a kiss on it.

“I guess I'm not used to this… being taken care of… being… loved.” That broke my heart. Three years without a wife, who knows how he relieved himself or with whom. Mary definitely didn't captivate him, so…

“Why me? Why do you only act like this with me?”

“I don't know… you give me peace, around you I feel like I can be myself. I feel like there are no judgments or resentments. There is no fear or pain. There is only you in front of me, no fog and no monsters. If this is my personal hell… I guess you are my paradise.” – he declared this in one fell swoop, catching me off guard. I could still see guilt for his confused feelings, for his wife and everything else. But it was a sincere feeling.

“James…” – I pulled him onto my lap, made him lie on my thighs and he… cried. He cried for the death of his wife Maria, he cried for Mary, he cried for me, he cried for every damn animal in this city. He cried and I just stayed there, taking care of him, running my hand through his blond hair and telling him that everything was going to be okay.

He confessed his dark sins to me and I confessed mine to him.

There we made a pact that no matter what happened in that city, whether we found our relatives alive or not, we would leave together. We would live together, each one broken in their own way trying to fix themselves.

We spent the night together, in his room. He confessed that he hadn't been able to sleep well for a while and asked me to sleep with him. So I did. He hugged me, as if I were going to run away. He held me in his arms, preventing me from running away. And he slept. He slept, snored and dreamed of his Maria. Just like me, who slept peacefully for the first time in 3 years and dreamed of Marina.

And my dream was yet another revelation.

It wasn't my fault. I wasn't the one who caused the accident. It was Marina.

She had decided to steal a medal from a hospital. A haunted medal. She also tampered with the car, said that the fan chain had broken and decided to change it herself, without any technical knowledge of mechanics. I tried to save us, but she tried to kill herself. She even told me that she wanted to die. That she wanted to die and let me live a free life. A flash came to my mind, revealing that while we were upside down in the car, she told me a secret: he turned the steering wheel towards the abyss, she tried to kill herself and take me with her, but she was happy that I was alive. That's how she died.

I woke up sweaty and shaking.

The sun was streaming in through the broken window. James was still hugging me. Mary was at the door of our room, looking around with doubts about what was happening. She didn't look anything like Marina. The room was different. It was normal, without that rotten smell and without the blackened blood of someone who had died there.

It was then that I understood. Guilt was a sin. A sin that attracted people to Silent Hill to die. Or to heal, as in my case. I understood that my guilt was not a sin. Now I needed to help James understand the same. I needed to show him that there was a way out.

He needed me.

And I needed him.

[dumbasspimpster]

Katherine

Back then. "You make me sick" said Katherine. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I squirmed and looked down at the table. I pushed my used napkin back and forth. I wanted to die. "I can't help it."

"It's hard enough that everyone wants me to *lose* weight! And now... this? Do you have any idea what that's like?!" she shouted. Her mascara was starting to run. She folded her arms as if she wanted to shrink into the booth.

"But you're beautiful, and I am telling you that I think so!"

"No! You can't find *this* attractive!" she said, gesturing over her body with her hands for emphasis. "I just... can't!"

But even as I sat there watching her slip away from me, puffy eyes, mascara running, tears soaking her shirt, I considered her the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Such a beautiful face, such lovely skin, such luscious hair, such pretty eyes. She was perfect in so many ways. And yet she couldn't overlook the one flaw that everyone attributed to her, that I had told her wasn't even a flaw to me, that genuinely made her even more attractive and worthy to me. And I was going to lose her for it. Why did I ever have to bring it up?

"You're wrong" I said. "You're perfect to me."

She looked back at me and her face contorted in anger. "I don't want to be perfect to you!" she shouted. "I just want to be perfect... period!"

I said nothing. We just glared at each other.

"I'm going to lose the weight" she said finally.

"Fine" I said. "You'll still be beautiful." I honestly believed that she would be.

"Yeah right!" she said. "So go find yourself an actual fat chick!"

"I guess I will" I said. "Because you have some real fucking issues."

"I have issues?! You're the one who LIKES FUCKING FAT CHICKS!" she shouted. The whole restaurant went quiet. Everyone was looking at us, the teenage couple having a fight.

"I'm going now" I said, summoning up my dignity. I got up, took a 20 dollar bill from my wallet, and put it down on the table. "To find myself an actual fat chick, without all the issues" I said cruelly. "Goodbye."

I started walking away. "No" she said. "Wait Bry! Bryan, wait!" she cried after me. But I was out the door. I kept my back turned so she wouldn't see that I was crying too.

---

Present day. I am successful and married with two children with my wife Alyssa.

Alyssa is my best friend. We met at a sales seminar back in our mid-twenties. She was a chubby blonde with a sweet smile and a sunny disposition. We hit it off instantly and have got along famously since. We have pretty much all the same interests. We have a loving, trusting relationship.

A few years ago, Alyssa discovered running. It's gone great for her, and she's slimmed down considerably since. I love her and support her and am happy that she feels better about herself and is healthier. I hope she lives long and we raise our kids and grandkids and die in the old folks' home together.

But our sex life has suffered. We've gone from having sex three or more times a week to once every week or two. We're busy parents so it's difficult already. Things just aren't what they used to be for us.

There is an urge growing inside me to stray. It's everywhere I go, in crowds of people, my eye is drawn to attractive women and their bodies. Searching for opportunities that I can't act on. Fantasizing about what it would be like.

Alyssa and I talked about it, years ago, about having an open relationship. On one hand, she said of course we shouldn't expect to have sex with the same person for the rest of our lives. On the other hand, she was crying. We never talked about it since. It's too painful to think of.

I'm on a trip back to my hometown for work. I haven't been back since high school. I ring up some of my old buddies and we get together for beers. We get right hammered and the conversation turns from our careers and our families to our past conquests.

"Hey" says Mark. "What was the name of that chick you were dating in Grade 11?"

"Which one?" I reply. "There were a couple."

"The chubby one. With the pretty eyes" said Mark, drunkenly. "The one who broke up with you."

My heart sinks. It's painful for me to remember. "Kat" I reply.

"Yeah, her" says Mark. "Pretty face. Too bad she was so chubby."

"Broke my heart" I say.

"You should call her up" says Mark.

"No way!" I say.

"Yeah way!" he says. "Wait, I can find her on Facebook."

Facebook. Shit, I thought. It's impossible to just forget someone and leave them behind anymore in this day and age.

Mark plays around with his phone. "Aha!" he said. "Found her! See, pretty face."

He shows me the phone screen. My heart drops on seeing Kat again. The photo is old, she is young and beautiful and as I remember her.

"She doesn't want to hear from me" I say.

"Don't be a pussy" says Mark. "Here, I'm going to message her for you."

"No!" I say, and I reach for the phone but Mark turns away and taps at his screen. I hesitate. A part of me wants to go with the flow.

"There!" he says. He shows me the message he sent with the friend request.

"Oh God, Mark. I'm married, don't you know?"

"Yeah, to a woman 1000 miles away" he responds.

Mark taps away at his phone some more. We order another round of beers. The bar is starting to empty out.

"Oh shit!" says Mark. "She replied!"

"Why do you gotta do this" I ask him, taking his phone. The reply is short and includes her new phone number. I pull out my phone and start texting her.

"Kat?"

"Its been a while"

My judgement is impaired and my inhibitions are gone. Over text, we pick up on the page we left off on.

---

One hour later, I take an Uber to Kats apartment. My nervousness is palpable. Every minute I am in the car feels unbearable. Every step up to her apartment feels like an undertaking.

I reach the door. I take a few minutes to gather up my courage, and then I knock. I hear her footsteps, then the latch of the door. Over a decade later and she could have become anything, and I am about to find out in moments. The door opens.

Kat is just as beautiful. And she's become massive.

"Kat..." I stutter, still drunk.

"Hello, Bry" she replies. I gawk at her for a moment. "Surprise!" she says, sardonically, "I got fat!"

"You're just as beautiful as I remember" I say. "More beautiful."

"Shut up and come inside" she says. "You're drunk."

I step inside. Her apartment is small but clean, with no sign of any cats. She leads me to the living room and sits me down with a tender touch on the shoulder. "Sit down" she says, "I'll make you some coffee."

She leaves to the kitchen and I watch her go. I am floored by the sheer size of her. She catches me watching over her should and my face flushes. I sit there and try to compose myself for the next few minutes. When she comes back with the coffee, I smile at her, but she doesn't return it. She pours the coffee without looking at me and sits down next to me. As she sits down, the couch creaks and the floor groans and the fat of her hip expands towards me, leaving very little space between us. She crosses her arms and seems to want to shrink into the couch.

"Thanks for the coffee" I say.

"Why are you here?" she asks.

"I'm meeting a client in town" I respond.

"I don't even know what you do" she says. "No, I mean, why are you *here*?" Meaning in her apartment with her.

"I wanted to reconnect" I say.

"Reconnect?" she says.

"Yeah" I reply. "Why did you invite me here?"

"I don't know" she says, twirling her hair. It's a gesture of vulnerability that I wouldn't have recognized from her when we were younger. She was so confident back then, so insecure at the same time. Putting up a façade all the time. She has changed over the years.

She looks at my ring. "I see you're married."

"I see you're not married" I replied.

"Well, shouldn't surprise anyone." she says. Meaning her body. There is an awkward silence and we say no more on the subject of marriages.

"Why did you break up with me?" I ask.

"Break up with you? Why did you break up with me?" she replies.

"You told me I disgusted you" I reply.

"Well I wonder why?" she says. "You told me I would be more attractive if I gained weight."

"No" I say. "Not exactly."

"Yes!" she says. "I said I was worried about gaining weight, and you said, 'Don't worry' because I will only be even more attractive."

"Okay" I say, "What's wrong with that?"

"I had body image issues!" she says. "It messed me up."

"I didn't know that" I say.

"Yeah!" she says. "It took me a while. But I'm over it."

I sip my coffee for a while. She waddles over the to kitchen and returned with a baking dish full of brownie. She picks out a square and started eating it, spilling crumbs down her shirt and between her breasts.

"I eat when I'm upset" she says.

"So do I" I say, stupidly. She gives a mirthful laugh at this.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask.

"Sure" she says.

"Did you love me?" I reply.

"Love you?" she replies. "Love you?" as if it is a joke. "Look at me, Bry. I am disgusting. I absolutely ruined myself because of you."

"Wait, are you actually laying that on me?" I reply.

"Bry" she says. "Look at me. Look at me. No seriously, look at me." I look down at her enormous curves, she is exploding with soft fat. "You told me you like fat chicks. You told me you find this attractive."

"I do" I said.

"Then what don't you get?" she huffs, exasperated.

"What do you mean?"

"Yes, Bry. I loved you. I fucking loved you! Don't you get that?!" Kat burst into tears. She grabs for a box of Kleenex on the table but it is empty. At this, she cries harder.

I reach out and stroke her arm to comfort her. She doesn't react. "Do you want me to get you some Kleenex?" I ask.

"No, Bry. You know what you can do for me?"

"What's that?"

She picks up and offers me the dish of brownies and I take it, confused. There are still several left. Then she grabs my thigh and leans in close to me and says "I want you to shove those brownies in my fucking face."

I nearly pull away but I hesitate for just a moment. It's enough. She works her hand over and grabs my cock, already hard, and starts massaging it through my pants. I take a brownie and stuff it into her open mouth and she chews away, sobbing. I reach over and grab a roll and start feeling around her body. Everywhere I go there are soft crevices to explore.

I feed her the rest of the brownies as I rub her tummy and tell her what a disgusting fat pig she has become. She is crying at the same time and tells me how much she hates me. When she is done, I make her get down on her hands and knees and lick the dish clean. I get behind her and pull down her pants and start to finger fuck her. She moans loudly.

She turns over onto her back and pulls me down on the floor with her. We kiss passionately and she takes my hand and places it somewhere in the softness of her underbelly and jiggles it. "Jiggle me, Bry" she says. "Jiggle my fat fucking belly."

"You fucking whale" I say. "You're fucking huge."

"Am I bigger than your wife?" she asks.

"You're way fucking fatter than her. You're like, three times her size."

"Am I the biggest woman you've ever been with?" she asks.

"You will be" I say. "By far."

"You did this to me" she says. "You made me ruin myself. Do you like it?"

"Yeah" I said. "I want you to be my disgusting fuckpig."

"Good" she says, "You break it, you bought it", and reaches down for my cock.

We fumble around for a bit and try with different positions to get me in. In the end, she has to lift up her belly and I have to mount her at an angle and she pulls me in.

Her fat pussy is tight and I struggle not to come instantly. I grab at her belly, her breasts, her pillows of upper arm fat, the softness of her chin, whatever I can. She jiggles like a waterbed.

I manage to restrain myself, and she comes first. "Oh, Bry!" she says. "Oh, Bry! Fuck me! FUCK ME!" She squirts all over my dick. "Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck HOLY FUCK!" she screams.

"Holy fuck" I say.

"Did I squirt?" she asks.

"Yes" I say.

"Holy fuck" she says. "Did you come?"

"No" I reply.

"Okay" she says. "Here." She pushes me and I pull out and roll off of her and onto the floor. She struggles and rolls over onto her hands and knees, then turns herself around and straddles me and backs her enormous ass up until my face is engulfed. I struggle to ask "What...?" but I am muffled between the fat of her thighs. I lick and taste the sweetness of her cum.

She lowers herself down and I can feel her two huge globes of breast fat spread out over my lap on either side of my dick. Her belly engulfs my torso, spreading out over my sides. She takes me up in her mouth and goes to work.

I come quickly, within only a minute or two, and she moans and sucks greedily and swallows. "Mmmmm" she says, "your cum tastes good." She collapses forward onto me, freeing my face from between the fat of her legs. She is breathing heavily. I can breath again, but it is laborious beneath her weight. We lay there for a while.

"Kat?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"How much do you weigh?"

"Bry" she says back. "I don't want to talk dirty anymore now."

"OK" I reply.

"Bry?" she asks. "Can we cuddle?"

I help her to her feet and she leads me over to her bedroom and she flops down on her back on the sheets and I plop down on top of her. We lay there like that, holding each other without saying anything. There is music playing quietly from a CD player on her dresser. We stay there and listen for a while until the songs start repeating. I am calm and breathing slowly but somehow too excited to fall asleep.

"Bry?" she asks, after a long time. "Do you still love me?"

I don't respond for a while. I think about Alyssa and the connection we share. I think about my kids with no small amount of guilt. I reflect back on my relationship with Kat in high school and the difference I have been searching for in every relationship since. I am sober enough now to know the answer confidently. "Yes."

"I still love you too" she says.

We kiss and make out and she climbs on top of me and inserts me and wraps her arms around me and we make love like that, her on top smothering me with her softness, pulling me deeper inside her amidst her thigh and pubic fat with each thrust of her hips. I explore and caress and jiggle and worship all of her soft parts, which is to say every part of her body.

"Oh, Kat" I say. "You're a goddess. A fucking sex goddess."

"I'm your sex goddess" she says. "These curves are for you."

"You're beautiful" I say. "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful."

She just moans in response. She gets off me and I sidle up next to her and spoon her and she parts her legs and pulls me in, with some considerable difficulty due to her enormous ass between us pushing me away from her. We barely achieve penetration, but it is worth it. We climax together. "Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK!" she screams, and I feel her hot cum well up in my crotch.

It takes us both a while to catch our breath. There is another long moment of holding each other. But this time, it feels different.

Kat turns around and faces me and her face is full of sadness and dread. "Bry" she says. "I don't want you to leave me again."

"I don't want to leave" I say. "But I have to."

"Bry, don't go. Please." she says. "I'll do anything."

"I have to" I reply.

"No you don't" she says. "Leave your other life behind. You can stay right here with me and love me and feed me until I'm the size of the fridge."

"Kat" I reply, "you don't know what you're saying."

"The size of the fridge, Bry" she says. "We can have sex like this every day, only it will just keep getting better."

"Kat, stop."

"100 more pounds. 200 more. 300 more. Whatever you want."

"Kat, please stop."

"Don't you get it, Bry? It's because of you! There is nothing I want more than to keep wrecking myself, just for your pleasure. It's all I have."

"Kat, you'll eat yourself into the grave."

"Oh fuck yeah" she says, and she reaches down around her belly and starts touching herself. "Oh fuck yeah, say it again."

"You'll eat yourself into the grave." I repeat. "Is this what you want?"

She is fingering herself intensely and grabs me tightly by the bicep. "Fuck yeah" she says, "I want to eat until I fucking explode."

"You won't explode," I say, "you'll have a heart attack."

"Fuck. Yes" she says, jiggling and quaking with exertion. She is struggling to keep fingering herself so violently and so I reach down and help her.

"Is this what you want?" I ask as I work with my fingers to get her off. "To be a fat fucking blob? To die young?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!" she screams. She contorts and adducts her thighs together and my hand is trapped in soft fat for a moment as she comes. She jerks and quakes as she comes down from the orgasm. "Oh, Bry..."

I am up and putting my clothes on. "I'm leaving" I say.

"Bry, wait" she moans, but I leave her there, a soft quaking orgasmic mound of fat on the bed.

[zenonaa]

idk if anyone has noticed the number of tofu fics (or fics in general) that i write/post has gone down in the past few years, but i want to kind of talk about that. i love togafuka. i love writing. my love for them has not diminished.

in early 2022, my mother was hospitalised and soon diagnosed with cancer. she came to live with me for the next 5-6 months during her chemo treatment and such. as well as helping look after her (and seeing her ups and downs) i was working a full-time job and looking after my younger brother a lot who is autistic and epileptic (the latter was diagnosed this year). my father worked and helped how he could, my sister helped my mum a lot but my sister and younger brother were in their early twenties at the time so i felt like a lot of the responsibility fell on me.

i appreciate the time i spent with my mother in that time, i would not change that, but it was very traumatic for me. my relationship with her wasn't always the best growing up, and i think she had mental issues that she refused to get help for that caused a lot of it (and i was a troubled kid too, well-behaved but depressed/socially anxious. also prob have autism). everyday i would see my mother get stronger, or weaker. i remember one night, my brother woke up crying (mum was in my bed, i was downstairs on a sofa bed and bro was on a beanbag bed) saying he was scared she'd never get better. i had to comfort him and support him a lot, all the while trying to be optimistic and keep myself together.

she was meant to have surgery to try to remove the cancer in october 2022, but it was cancelled due to her thyroid. in early december 2022, she went to have fluids drained and i went too. a nurse told her in front of me how they wouldn't resuscitate her which wasn't... great. anyway, she had to be moved to the hospital because she wasn't draining, and a bit before christmas, she told us that she was terminal. on my last visit to her (23rd), i forced myself not to cry and as i left, i said i loved her and i'd see her on xmas.

on xmas day, she passed away. the hospital had lost our phone number, so we found out when a friend who had been with her phoned us. can't describe how surreal that day was. she was supposed to come home after the hospital stay. she told me to make her bed at home. we were going to visit her on xmas. she was going to have chemo again in january. who's going to eat all her favourite foods in my fridge? what do i do with this walking stick? her clothes? her medications? how could i have saved her? why didn't i realise she was sick and get her checked out earlier? why couldn't i have been a better daughter? why must the radio sing christmas songs about this being the most wonderful time of the year, why must people get excited for this one day when my mother died? then i had to help with the funeral, choosing her flowers, choosing what she was going to wear when she was cremated. she won't see me get married (assuming i do) or her first grandchild. it's... a lot to process.

i've had other life events happen after this. i broke up with my ex after 7 years. i was ousted from my job and got a new one. i've resumed driving lessons, even managed to get the same instructor my mother found me 10 years ago when i first tried driving and stopped. so yeah. busy.

also i have been working on a novel. my mother when she was still alive was my biggest fan, she would sit with me and we'd go through editing together. my novel has changed a lot since she was alive, as my writing has improved etc. i've recently been considering self-publishing it. which is daunting because i have the charisma of a potato but i believe in this novel and most importantly my mother believed in it, even in its early stages. but that costs money - i should be getting a pay rise from work soon, but i might open writing commissions again to help fund this as it's not cheap lmao.

soooo my fic writing has gone down because i'm usually exhausted, busy with work and irl stuff, and still recovering mentally from life events. i still need to write my last tofu week fic, which will either be a mastermind au or little sequel story to elusive/mermaid au.

i don't really talk about my personal life here, but even if no one reads this, it was therapeutic to write at least haha.