#yeah....anyway...i sure do love this anime that emotionally destroyed me

[always-a-joyful-note]

I was watching this review of Idolish7 and the reviewer's closing comments got to me because, yeah. Idolish7 tells you that it's fine if your interest or love for something like music or media doesn't last forever while acknowledging also how sad that can be. But it tells you that you're allowed to be obsessed with a show or a song for a short period and you're not inconstant or evil or disloyal for it, nor that your love for it was fake because it didn't last in intensity as it started.

I don't know but I'm a big fan of the way i7 tackles topics about change and goodbyes (especially after pt 4 to 6.9), both on the audience's side and on the artist's side.

[solxamber]

Can I get baker boy Trey realizing that his S/O is a super secret spy for another country. Yet, when confronted, said S/O admits that they faked their death to be with him.

Cocoa Conspiracy - Trey Clover x reader

He knew you as his partner, the love of his life, but he didn't realize your real identity: a spy vying for pastry destruction

Trey Clover wasn’t ready for this. He thought he was just dating you—the quirky, adorable, slightly unpredictable person who occasionally knew way too much about the inner workings of a high-tech security system. Sure, sometimes you went missing for a week without warning, but he figured you were probably just... really into nature hikes? Who was he to judge?

But now here he was, standing in the middle of his beloved kitchen, staring at a government-issued spy dossier that read like something out of a James Bond fever dream. The worst part? Your face was plastered all over it, right next to the words “Top Secret Agent: Wafflia.”

Wafflia.

He had to read it three times before it clicked. “Dear...” he began, holding up the papers like they were a particularly burnt batch of cookies. “Why does it say you’re an undercover agent sent by the nation of Wafflia to... sabotage the pastry industry? What is this?”

You, who had just casually walked in, munching on a muffin like it was a normal Wednesday, paused mid-chew. “Oh. Right. That.” You glanced at the folder in his hands like it was an old grocery receipt. “I, uh... meant to tell you about that.”

Trey blinked. “Tell me? You meant to tell me?”

You shrugged, your voice a little too nonchalant for someone who’d just been outed as a literal international spy. “Look, babe, I can explain—”

“Explain? You’ve been sent to ruin all pastries in Twisted Wonderland!” Trey threw up his hands, a little more animated than usual, which was saying something. “Pastries! My life revolves around pastries! Why didn’t you tell me you were some kind of... dessert assassin?!”

You chewed thoughtfully for a moment, as if considering the best way to let him down easy. “Well, first of all, ‘dessert assassin’ makes it sound way cooler than it actually is. I mean, it’s mostly paperwork. And second of all... I didn’t really take the mission seriously. I was distracted.”

“Distracted? By what, the buttercream frosting?” Trey snapped, incredulous.

“No, by you.” You rolled your eyes like it was obvious, casually finishing the muffin. “You know, because we’re dating. Thought that was kind of important.” You flicked a crumb off your shirt, as if this entire conversation wasn’t wildly absurd. “I couldn’t exactly go around destroying pastries when you bake this good. Do you even know how hard it is to sabotage a cake when it tastes like it was baked by an angel? It’s basically sabotage-proof.”

Trey blinked. “Wait. So, you’re telling me the only reason you haven’t followed through with your evil pastry-destroying mission is because... my desserts are too good?”

“Yup!” You gave him two enthusiastic thumbs up. “Honestly, if Wafflia tasted your cupcakes, they’d probably call the whole thing off.”

Trey’s eye twitched. “...Wafflia?”

“Tiny nation. Mostly waffles. A little maple syrup industry on the side. Really not a big deal.”

“You are literally a government agent from a country that declared war on bakeries!”

You sighed dramatically, as if he was the one overreacting here. “Yeah, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is that I faked my death to be with you.”

Trey stared at you like you had just slapped him with a pie. “You what.”

“I faked my death. Big explosion. Very cool. It was like something out of a Michael Bay movie, except with fewer explosions and way more sparkles. It’s kind of the Wafflian signature. Anyway, I’m legally dead now.” You leaned back against the counter, looking incredibly proud of yourself. “Did it all for you.”

Trey was about three seconds away from emotionally combusting. “You... faked... your death... so you could—”

“Ditch the life of a spy and bake tarts with you, obviously.” You grinned like this was all completely reasonable. “It’s called love, Trey.”

Trey had to sit down. He dragged a chair across the kitchen floor, the sound screeching in the sudden silence. He sat down heavily, trying to process the information bomb you had just dropped in his very innocent, pastry-filled kitchen. “So, let me get this straight. You were a secret spy for a country that wants to destroy desserts—the thing I care about most in the world—and you faked your death to... retire?”

“With you,” you corrected, grabbing a tart from the tray and taking a huge bite. “I mean, why else would I fake my death? Have you seen how good you look when you’re rolling out dough? I’m not giving that up.”

Trey blinked at you, his brain malfunctioning at the speed of light. “You—what—I just—how are you—”

You waved a hand dismissively. “Look, babe, relax. All I’m saying is, Wafflia thinks I’m dead, I think you’re hot, and your strawberry tarts are so good that I’ve basically retired from espionage to live out the dream with you. Problem solved.”

Trey opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, resembling a fish out of water. “...I don’t know if I should be flattered or horrified.”

“Why not both?” You waggled your eyebrows, licking the last of the tart crumbs off your fingers. “I’m flexible.”

Trey buried his face in his hands, groaning. “I just wanted to bake some bread. I didn’t sign up for all this—secret spy, faked your death, sabotage the pastry world—what even is this.”

You patted him on the back, still munching. “Hey, look on the bright side. At least I’m not sabotaging your desserts.”

Trey peeked at you from between his fingers. “And... what about other people’s desserts?”

You smirked. “Well... no promises. But I’ll probably keep it to a minimum. For you.”

He groaned louder.

I didn't know if you wanted it serious or silly, but i made it silly. let me know if you wanted it more serious!

Masterlist

[daimonhalos]

Appreciation post for the eggpire and more during the red banquet cause I'm not seeing enough love for how well they organized and delivered and because I'm so proud of cc!Bad for how far the Bloodvines arc has gone ♥ (this stuff is from Bad's vod btw)

Also something to cheer people up a bit in case the lore got u hard like it got me cause I'm still not okay bestie <3

The starting soon screen being an animation (with glitches to show another frame!!) plus the jazzy electro-swing soundtrack underneath. Just such a good intro, I felt like I was actually in the waiting line for an event, just awesome.

Ponk. Just Ponk, dapper man, handsome Ponk just standing there. Gorgeous, thank you, standing ovation, I love him.

Just everything Bad and Ant did with the building of the room, the stairs!! The coat room!!! The statues right in front of the table, everything looked SO pretty.

ANT MY BELOVED LOOKING HANDSOME AS ALWAYS I just loved all their outfits. The banquet's skins just SLAPPED HARD.

The little moment where Bad changed view of his character and we could see him, Ant and Ponk cwc

Bad singing >>>>>>>>>>

Everyone getting lost despite the oak signs

THE ARC ABOVE THE DANCEFLOOR, WHAT THE HELL YOO

Bad complimenting everyone on their outfits and giving out some gapples here and there

Bad also always repeating the same catchphrases

Sam just drinking copiously and the dumpy situation

People actually dancing + HBomb being the dj

Puffy walking around Bad to see his outfit and complimenting him, just felt like their old friendship cwc

FOOLISH GAVE BAD A FLOWER <3

Bad scolding George for not wearing an outfit (Sam's "his name is Gogy and he is beautiful")

"It's almost time for the feast. It's gonna be delicious." the foreshadowing

Everyone dancing together cwc

"minecraft dancing is speed squats" eret ilu

Bad and Ant complimenting moment ♥

The eggpire all on the same side of the table. Them

Ponk's little "Hello!" after Bad said he made the soup, plus everyone going "good job!!" just twt

When Bad started asking if anyone wanted to give a toast, I realized eventually that this was more of a disguised "Want to say your last words before death?" and it now sounds s o freaking cool. ye s

P O N K 'S S P E E C H

"you look beautiful right now" sam i will cry

When in the middle of his speech, Bad turns to Ant who's already looking at him, nods, Ant nods back, and as Bad turns around again we can see Ant walking away from his seat. I am OBSESSED with this scene, like you already know something is about to go down and oh gosh it was delivered so good

THE LAVA COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING AS BAD KEPT TALKING, NONE NOTICING, HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THE BANQUET WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE. SO HOT

"And yeah! Thank you for coming everybody" the little mischievous giggles right after "And prepare uh ... yep. Prepare to die." AND THEN HE FUCKIGN DRINKS FROM HIS GLASS LIKE COME ON YOU CANT BE ANY COOLER THAN THAT YOOO

"The leaf is staying the way it is" you can hear the laughter in his voice like HAH GOTTEM that's so good

Bad still giving Hbomb gapples cwc

"Where you looking for this perchance?" AND THEN EQUIPS THE ENTIRE ARMOR AND WEAPONS E Y E when the twists started dude. this si where the twists started and never ended

HANNAH CROSSING SIDES AND SIDING WITH THE EGGPIRE. QUEEN SHIT that was such a cool moment for her i'm so glad she's getting her moment

The eggpire laughing, just pure villainy, love them

"Time to get on the main event" the nonchalance. The way they equipped the crossbows and readied the arrows at the same time. B r u h fucking awesome they are

The eggpire faking being afraid when Sam was talking about blowing the egg up. Sad that we already knew about the obsidian thing, but still made it a very cool scene. Especially right after when they started laughing at them again. I don't know what it is about it but I love them being so sassy.

FREAKING EXECUTIONS THEY WORKED FOR MASS EXECUTIONS they were able to trap all those freaking people!! And trick them and counter attack all the time! what the fuck, I'm so impressed

Thank you Fundy for sounding super terrified /gen ♥

Wait ahah they really said EGGSECUTION-

THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES im not saying IT but im saing Velvet

"Follow me! Follow me!" HANNAH SOUNDED SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love

"We trusted you!" "Well, that was your first mistake-" THE WAY BAD WAS ABOUT TO LAUGH. DUDE they definitely had so much fucking fun making this

sassyboyhalo

Foolish acting thank u ily. Also the thunder not working what the heck i wanna know what was going on inside his mind right then he sounded so lost. THE ACTING

"Sacrifice!" Hannah idk how to say this but I love you

ANT MOMENTTTT

When puffy called them selfish i was expecting bad to just do a huge double take. I wanted him to snap immediately PLEASE SNAP-

BAD DELIVERING AGAIN WITH THE AMAZING ACTING

"Not just for the egg but for what the egg is going to give us" he's so desperately trying to make them udnerstand it promised him his friend back he literally mentions it every single time but everyone calls him selfish because they think he wants power when he just wants skeppy's friendship back in this essay I will- Anyway yes I love that he never explicitly says it because it kills us viewers with pain cause we KNOW and then the reveal will be 100 times more powerful. This is so awesome

"I can't stop Quackity and you know why I can't stop. If I stop I can't get what I need." his voice grew so much lower like he's just holding back MAN I HH IT WAS SO GOOD

SECRET RETREAT ROOM YOOO

Ponk giving Bad some food and telling him to stay safe, Bad telling both Hannah and Ponk to stay safe too. My tears

And now the solo Bad lore part, where we actually see the true part of him that's absolutely devastated and makes me cry, the way he acted all confident and then saw everything crumble in a few seconds and now he's destroyed again because what if they find a way to destroy the egg what then? what if he never gets skeppy back? dude, you can just read his emotions it's so sad and i love how it was portrayed

"I know where I can go. I know who I can see!" BDI REF BDI REF FOR SURE I have a feeling that's going to be explained in the next lore stream with Skeppy and I'm so hype. I love the little crumbs of references here and there.

"But now they have it.." he sounded so broken??? bad your acting please ill cry

"I didn't really want to hurt anybody" his true self trying to get back cwc especially because he's farther away from the egg. I just love the transition between the guy Bad portrays who's so sure about the egg when it's in front of others and the doubts and anxiety he actually has when he's alone. Just so cool

"Did I screw up?" im just pointing out everything that moves me emotionally cause these people's acting is so cool

Ending the stream with simple black background my beloved

Okay but really I'm so so so proud of the ccs for making this happen and it's only going upwards, I'm literally so in awe, they really said go big or go home

Free space for Ant's villain speech I wasn't able to hear yet, but they said it was v cool, so I'm trusting people on this

Thank you for listening, stan Bloodvines arc /hj

If I made typos no I didn't

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement:  (the weight of words):

 Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it.  “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

[makeste]

BnHA Vol. 29 Cover Reaction Post: Emergency Can't-Wait-Till-Tomorrow Edition

so thanks to reddit, which has a spoiler-free post dedicated to the volume 29 cover leak, I was able to check out the cover image without being spoiled for anything in tomorrow’s chapter. now, I knew chapter 285 was going to be in this volume, so I was expecting something Bakugou-centric from the get-go. I was not, however, expecting Horikoshi to launch a fucking grenade of feels at me without warning! but that’s just how the man rolls I guess.

anyway, the cover isn’t a spoiler for anyone who’s read up to chapter 285, but I’ll put the image and the rest of this post under a cut just in case.

rarely have I witnessed such a casually devastating flex of one man’s ability to annihilate an entire fandom with feels. simply brutal. set phasers to ‘curled up in a fetal position’

I cannot believe he chose this scene. this scene, again. I didn’t sign up to have my weaknesses so viciously exploited like this. oh wait but actually I did

imagine taking a dozen years to figure out that your best friend literally just wanted to help you and make sure that you were okay because he loves you, and that in response you were all “IS THIS THE ULTIMATE AFFRONT TO MY HONOR?” and spent the next decade wanting to kick his ass. smdh

and now imagine that the dumbass who did all of that is also your favorite character, like seriously he is your favorite SO MUCH, and his relationship with that other kid is also your favorite ever. so what does that say about you. congratulations, you stan the world’s most emotionally dense person!!

but also imagine how proud you would be of said emotionally dense dumbass for finally figuring it out though. jfkdk I need to hug him, STAND ASIDE

there is just. so much regret in this one image that it’s just insane to me?? look at his face??? just imagine how much he must be berating himself. “why couldn’t you have just accepted it when it really mattered. why did you have to go and ruin everything. he just wanted to help you.” ffff

and that’s ten years they can never get back. ten years of pain he caused. ten years he can never undo. look at him. he’s not four anymore. Deku is still a child in this image, but Katsuki is sixteen going on seventeen here. all grown up. because he can’t turn things back no matter what. he can’t undo it. the child Katsuki never accepted Deku’s hand. and now the almost-grown Katsuki wants to more than anything, but it’s too late. he can still take the almost-grown Deku’s hand! but this child Deku’s hand, it’s forever out of reach to him. this child Deku will grow up lonely and sad and hurting because of the person who should have been his friend. and Katsuki cannot take that back, and I cannot get over this, this is fully destroying me right now. jesus.

but there is also hope there! because there is growth! there is maturity! there is acceptance! he knows what he’s done. he’s trying to change. he’s trying to be a better person. and he’s trying to be a better person for Deku’s sake. flkdslkhl I am really out here letting myself be murdered by some cover artwork because I can’t stop being dramatic about it. wouldn’t choose any other way to go

no amount of words can begin to express the array of feels that I have over the fact that “Bakugou Katsuki: Rising” -- his moment of becoming a true hero, his moment of ascendance where we catch a glimpse of that person he is going to be someday -- is now forever linked to this image of him looking with regret at Deku’s hand. the two of them are just so... intertwined. Horikoshi never gave us that “you’re my image of saving” moment with Kacchan like he did with Deku and his image of victory, but it’s there all the same, isn’t it

basically what I’m trying to say here is that yet again, Deku is at the core of it. just like he’s at the core of every other fucking thing Katsuki ever does. this is my all-time dynamic folks. this here is what it’s all about. STEP ONE: “BAKUGOU KATSUKI: RISING.” STEP TWO: [PUTS DEKU ON THE COVER]. STEP THREE: PROFIT/UGLY CRYING

I’m almost mad that there wasn’t a scene like this in the actual manga now. I need Bones to make sure this makes it into the anime somehow. maybe in one of the opening or ending themes. but they gotta do it. make it happen

notice that for these really dramatic moments, Horikoshi is clearly aware that the grenade gauntlets are too ridiculous, and so he’s gotten rid of the one on Katsuki’s left hand for no reason. yeah that’s right, I see you there. just do it permanently you coward

and he’s not wearing the mask either for that matter. Horikoshi you clearly understand aesthetics then, so why?! such a fucking troll

Deku’s lil four-year-old cheek is so chubby... gotta pinch it. it’s a primal urge. wittle cheeks

he also needs a hug. fuck. it’ll be okay baby Deku. you’ve just gotta wait TEN WHOLE YEARS and then All Might will show up and it’ll all be good. nothing to worry about but all of your bones being broken and the League of Villains trying to murder you and all of your friends. :’) why did I start reading this manga again

anyway so this is ROUGH. I AM SWEPT UP IN IT. I AM DESPAIRING lmao. oh man. but it’s like... it’s a deep sorrow, but it’s also a good, cathartic sorrow as well. powerful, soul-cleansing feels. that’s the good stuff right there

anyway so I’m in ruins, but it’s nice. Crust gives this cover two thumbs up. bless

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hi! I don't really know if you're still doing httyd analyses, but I can't stop thinking about how httyd1 seemed to walk this thin, perfect line between logic and emotion that appealed to such a large audience, but when the sequels came out, we split into like/dislike fractions. Imo, Httyd2 + 3 have the same problems. But 2 was great for thinkers, while horrible for feelers, and 3 was that same thing turned upside down. And it's just so incredibly interesting to me. Care to comment, awesome dude?

Hey there! Good to hear from you! Interesting thoughts!

I’ve been sitting on this because, to me, those haven’t been the observations I’ve made about the latter two movies myself. And I’ve found that fascinating. You mmmmmay have something to it, you definitely may, but I’m not sure I’m ready to make that generalization of fandom reaction myself.

I’ve seen several of my closest friends, who are feelers, draw deeply into HTTYD 2, whether it was relating to Toothless like their pet dog, loving the angst of Stoick’s death, or something else. And several other of my closest friends, logical to the max, dug in deeply to THW. I’ve seen logical criticisms against HTTYD 2 (plot structure, amount of time spent with villain, etc.) and against THW (how THW might not effectively write a call-to-the-wild due to the embedded romance suggestions in there, whether or not the ending of the movie justified the size of the danger). I’ve seen emotional comments balking against HTTYD 2 (too dark for children, felt too different from original) and THW (didn’t like the dragons leaving, didn’t feel emotional connection between Hiccup and Toothless). I think I’ve seen more emotional rejections of THW than I have HTTYD 2.

Ultimately, from my angle, I don’t get the same delineation that you do. For me, any correlation I’d try to draw with your observation would be anecdotal and subject to my self-confirmation biases. I don’t think 2 was objectively great for thinkers and 3 great for feelers. Now, it’s true I am a “thinker” and HTTYD 2 was my jam when it came out, but that’s because it struck a deep emotional chord with me, something that gnawed at me for days because of how character death got handled in the film and how close it mirrored the pains I was going through in my own life at the time. But yeah, I mean, I analyzed the music themes “objectively” too. And it’s true that when THW came out, my lukewarm response to it was because of logical criticisms. But it was also because I didn’t feel much emotion out of it and I’d gone into the movie specifically to feel something. Anyway... my personal response hasn’t been anywhere close to universal with how I’ve seen fandom members react to the trilogy, either. I think that lots of what draw people to/away the latter films are things like whether you can relate to the themes, what sorts of tropes you like, what sorts of plot holes or contrivances you don’t mind versus get bothered by, what sorts of emotional messages resonate with you most, what’s going on in your life when the movie comes out, and the like. While emotion and logic play into it, I definitely agree with you there, I think those factors are more prevalent than the emotional/logical-driven sides of us.

Still, I really like what you’ve say about the first movie being the perfect line between logic and emotion. I think the first movie got everything right. From the theoretical side, HTTYD got all its structural properties concrete. It hits the nail on the head from the analytical “thinker” side. The music has endless analysis potential with its interweaving, information-nuanced leitmotifs. The narrative structure is perfectly paced. There’s balance between moments of silence versus dialogue. Dialogue is clever; themes are well-accounted for; what’s introduced in the beginning comes back later. Animation, art stylistic choices, how the dragons got animated, there’s tons to talk about. It’s a masterpiece from the angle thinkers like to go by. To this day, I think this is still one of the most solidly paced films like, freaking ever, and I marvel at it.

But HTTYD is also, at its heart, a story about a boy, his father, and his best friend. Its major plot points are the emotional beats of the story. What we’re invested in is how a boy’s relationship with his father will or won’t strengthen. What we’re invested in is whether the boy’s growing love for a dragon will destroy his sense of belonging in the world he once strove to be recognized in. What we’re invested in is if the boy can both receive the love of his dad and the love of this dragon. It’s a story of acceptance, belonging, being different, being loved, finding love, hiding who you are, being accepted for who you are, etc. It’s not an “action” movie. HTTYD is a story of relationships and heart.

I believe that the best stories marry the structural properties with the emotional beats. They interplay with each other. One informs the other. One elevates the other. One makes the other exist properly. Without animation technique, we couldn’t have good chilling scenes or heartwarming scenes because the visuals wouldn’t evoke it. Without characters struggling with love, no one in the audience would care about the plot. Without knowing how to write plot, we wouldn’t be able to demonstrate the characters loving each other. Without creators caring about the story, everything would feel emotionally dead. And so forth.

[lemonwrld]

Just reblogged @macden-byebitch's very interesting gif set. It shows Mac's change of mind/growth re. child-rearing and gender roles.

Anyhow, it's left me thinking about the gang's personalities. I'm interested in hearing what other people feel the gang's individual best qualities are? Sometimes it seems like their better natures are swallowed whole in the tight and not-exactly-loving embrace of the gang. So I'm thinking of them more in the context of their solo attributes.

For me, I find Mac most endearing when he demonstrates his child-like over-estimations of himself, Dennis, and his parents. It's a kind of ridiculous optimism in the face of cold hard reality, and I just think it's sweet. He's also generous and protective. He wants to take care of the people/animals that he considers to belong to him. See basically any interaction between him and his parents, Poppins, and Dennis... When the latter are in trouble or distressed, Mac is surprisingly empathetic and self-sacrificing. For someone who is otherwise self-centred and typically lacking in compassion, he shows a different side around his chosen loved ones.

To me, Charlie's best trait is his creativity. Obviously with respect to music. But he's also just a talented s.o.b. in general. Look at him play every sport on the show. He kills it. And he either doesn't fully recognise the talent in himself or he doesn't care. And that's almost more admirable to me - the 'not caring' part. It's like a rejection of status. He doesn't attribute meaning and value to his talents and skills in terms of 'what other people think'. He just wants to do things his way for his reasons. He's like the ultimate rebel. But cooler, because he doesn't care about shit like that.

Dee's best quality for me is her self-sufficiency. Of all the gang, I feel she's the most able to strike out on her own and try new things (even if they don't go to plan). I mean, she got that job at the high school as a substitute drama teacher; she was visiting the comedy club by herself (just to gag on stage, but still); she lives on her own and prefers it that way (arguably none of the others would manage this so well). Maybe she's had to be more independent because the rest of the gang are much less inclined to indulge her? I think it's also a self-protection thing, which is wise. She'd be an idiot if she didn't hold some of her stuff back. I'm pretty sure she opted out of sharing everything with the gang a long time ago.

Dennis... I've been turning Dennis' character over and over in my mind and the one thing that keeps hitting me is like... his palpable vulnerability. And I'm not 100% sure that this is a legit character trait of his, or just me projecting/imagining it. But I feel like he's so obviously powerless and so easily wounded. For some pathological reason, that appeals to me. (I guess maybe in the same way it does to Mac? Cos you instinctively want to protect and fulfil the meaningful role of care-giver?)

Anyway, when I try to think of Dennis' other positive traits like charm or occasional intelligence, they just seem to be so erratic. Like he's not always charming, sometimes he's downright repulsive. And he's not always smart, he's pretty frequently a dumbass. You could apply that to his vulnerability as well, but I feel like even when he's groping for power and control, he's really just emphasising to me how vulnerable he is. Because he thinks he has to do that to be okay. Resilient people don't have to control their lives like that, imo.

It's like peeking through a keyhole. His vulnerability exposes his underlying humanity and all of his deep (big) feelings. And deep feeling is also attractive to me, because it means that you care about things. And it might also mean that you have an authentic internal life that you are afraid of other people destroying. (👀Me too, babe.)

Lastly we have Frank. What to say about Frank? To me, he's the least emotionally developed character. But not in an obvious way, because Danny DeVito fleshes him out so well. Frank could feel a lot more one-note if he wasn't played by such a talented actor, imo.

Frank is probably the most straightforward of the gang. He's a simple man with simple needs. I suppose I like his connection with Charlie? And the fact that he's totally non-judgemental. Yeah, let's go with that. I like how Frank practises unconditional positive regard towards himself and Charlie most of the time. He's an upbeat feckless kinda guy who's just doing his own thing. And he knows how to enjoy himself. ☠

[semi-imaginary-place]

the weight of time, the other side, enemy 6. webtoons up to the other side 10

alright back to kubera, timey wimey shenanigans and maruna growing a conscious.

so kuberas one of those series where spoilers dont change the experience so i knew yaksha was going to show up but ah im so excited yaksha and og airavata??? thank you currygom. oh yeah and we got more on brilith's soul's past i guess.

huh so the ancient human cycle of reincarnation is breaking down. ptsd is being inherited across lives. humans were suppose to regain memories of their past lives when their minds and bodies were fully matured but violent deaths are leading to them regaining their memories before their minds are ready to deal with the trauma and as a result instead trraging each life seperately like we saw with the humans maruna interacted with, the humans ran meets there is no seperation between one life and the next its bluring together and thr grudges are growing as people life out the past. I love it!

...thats ananta. damn currygom is going HARD this arc, all the big names are here. also i just love ananta, yaksha, and og airavata having a breakfast club. ananta is half way to having the dead anime mom hair but joking aside the two foofy braids are super cute. currygom.... why you keep killing off all the nice ones... oh no yaksha has bad regeneration doesnt he... ok i just spent a week with a literal toddler and yeah gandharva

ok i cant tell how much of this heart talk is metaphorical and how much is literal ie yaksha physical heart is effecting ran emotionally. now that i think about it why is hanuman in their female form in the current timeline. wait maruna couldnt interact with another alive in the current time but ran can? i love yaksha why are all my favorite characters doomed. LET ME PROTECT THE CUTE OLD MAN. he's even white haired, has a tail, and is fluffy! fluffy! ran is watee attribute like yaksha too. wait i just remembered samphati told maruna that ideally a natiska parent would mentor a 5th stage rakshasa since 5th stage vigor and what not works more like a natuska and isnt that what yaksha is doing for ran. oh so this is what they meant by suras natures are to destroy. natiskas take of their attribues and astika create

ah so ran's half phobia isn't just trauma from the cataclysm but being afraid of himself. yeah where'd the wind transcendendal come from, ran is water water water

oh wow that experiment was more important than i thought. everyone is there

ooh naver commenter pointed out how sura sometimes scheme names their kids and raltara's parents name might be taraka the natiska name kali took to make yuta

this cute old man is bad for my heart. also ananta is precious. maruna continues to underestimate people but i will say him mistaking to most powerful being to have ever exisged in the universe for a 4th stage rakshasa ia pretty funny.

yaksha is basically a catboy. that explains a lot actually.

im enjoying the characterization of sagara. to sagara power is everything. ananta just wants everyone to be happy, he's uncomfortable with exterminating the ancient humans but he'll do it for sagara. this isnt true to himself or what he wants but he'll be what those around him want him to be. oh wow so the name/role of ananta was designed to take on a portion of every sin ever in the universe. also callback to brilith's conversations on whether its better to have gods that are too weak to do anything or have the power but choose not to help. oh shit and by brahma asking his consent in the destruction of the ancient humans (and ensuring it via sagara) she ensured the sins of killing them would fall on to him.

oh and somethings up with tilda but we dont know what yet. shes going to be important

where is marunas coat? mmmm head hurts... so gods forget things so that they arent weighted down by desires and reach the top/enlightenment. but once they reach the top the dont have to keep forgetting? about doomed willarav(??) all the deaths are turning point in which the characters didin't choose compassion. this is also the outcome that kali averted. ok im with maruna ran is giving me bad vibes. oooooo the maruna ran raltara gandharva situation! the tension! the drama! i was so caught up if the eye of punishment was going to be used by maruna or shess that a couple years ago i didnt even consider the possibility of a new character.

we also see the payoffs of the weight of time and the other side as well ran and maruna have come to see things from the other side (sura and humans). as others have pointed out maruna has spent several millennia among humans and discarded the sura cultural mentalities taught to him (obey superiors, no compassion etc which we see directly in his confrontation with samphati but everywhere after this time adventure) and taken a mentality closer to that of the first ancient humans. if humans using silent magic is said to lessen their humanity and make them more like sura ruthless calculating and cold, the maruna has become more human. the opposite is true of ran having spent many years living as a rakshasa and living far beyond a human lifespn. literally he has become more in tune with his sura side coming to terms with his grand parent being hanuman, yaksha's heart within him, and his power which killed his mother and he attacked the two next most important people to him lutz and rana. silent magic was said to need a desire for power, a lack of compassion for ones enemies, and a willingness to give up everything for one's goals. and mentally his mindset has been shifting from that of a humans to the one we usually see in sura. remember when he was introduced ran was the nicest character in the cast after leez.

so god kubera put the konchez party in a transcendental to stop their minds from merging with the maruna and ran of the current chapter. but thats what made them too late to stop taraka dying and 4th stage yuta. unless they wouldn't have made it aahhhhhhhh my head hurts i infinite possibilities gah! time travel! anyways but im still not sure what god kubera wants to begin with. wait no the mental transcendental preserved the minds of their former selves. the merge did happen that's how the clothes got "restored". oh yeah i forgot former kubera drew the sword of re before giving it to leez.

one of the currygom afterwords or something mentioned it but there's many more characters recently that do not neatly fit into the established boxes. perhaps its because at the beginning and and ending of the universe reality is looser. we have confirmation that yaksha clan bunny girl petupan that ran met has a chaos attribute but other sura we have met has chaos-ish aspects to them like other bunnygirl sona who maybe could be petupan's daughter? curiosly hanuman has a weird left arm when ran met him but doesnt in the modern day. then there's taraka that maintained their minds and forms like samphati and makara. then we have ran whos a human rakshasa (hanuman wondering if they forgot about a child with yaksha is still funny)

3-195 the other side 13 is the last we see maruna with his red fluffy coat in a flashback with raltara. it isnt seen until maruna goes to the abandoned timeline or n23

its probably intentional on currygoms part that yaksha's source attribute is water and that the inheritor of his heart ran was born with 3 water attributes. the interesting part is when ran starts using wind transcendentals and hanuman's source attribute is wind. so its almost as if he were a rakshasa with light as a clan attribute and water and wind as heteditary attributes. what im not sure of is in the fight with maruna ran seems to use some sort of lightning based attack and i cant quite remember so he either mixed partial surification with divine magic, has a sky attribute???? or there's sky transcendentals that dont require an attribute?

the abyss is the water channel of th sura realm?? omg and maruna cant remember the thing in the abyss that was chasing them because its existence has been replaced with yuta.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Decided To Watch The Walkthrough Of Deltarune Chapter 2

I was really happy that Chapter 2 was finally ready, but because of reasons... I wasn't able to play it, I mean I wanted to.

but whenever I clicked on it, it ended up showing that small blue message. saying that it might put the PC at risk.

I don't know if I should try to play it or not, maybe nothing will happen and it will just play the game with no problems.

but that message did pop up before,

when I wanted to play that Undertale Kissy Cutie fan game.

the Undertale Don't Forget Fan Game, it works just fine.

those two games didn't have that blue message pop up,

when I clicked on them.

so something must be causing it to happen,

I want to know if it will be okay to play those games.

if others have been having the same problems, but were also worried about playing it because of the blue message.

maybe someday they will have a update for those games where that blue message wont pop up and everything will be fine.

also I wonder if my seeing Toriel as a off-white purple colors, might of been a trick of the eyes...?

what I mean is, that maybe it was....I don't know.

also ya know like the Pie Was Canon, cause  someone's fan animation ended up predicting what was gonna happen in Deltarune.

turns out that Kris really did eat the whole pie.  and by the looks of it, from what I have seen in the walkthrough of Deltarune's Chapter 2.

I think that one of the Comics of Deltarune, might of predicted the future......

well Semi-Future.

so what happens at the school in Deltarune, is canon in the game.

of course there are still some differences from what happens in Chapter 2

and the AU-Comic.

maybe it is me that thinks that a comic predicated what was going to happen in the very start of the Chapter 2....

it took some hours, but I was able to finish watching it.....still wish I could of played it.

but like I said, that blue message that pop up made me decide not to at the moment because it says it might put The PC at risk.

so I'm not sure if it really would, but I don't want to risk it.

so I still have chapter 2 of the game, but I just can't play it right now sadly.

I got to say that the romances in the game was sure interest...

can't wait to see the ships.

well with any hope, all the chapters of Deltarune will be on a Nintendo Switch Game Card someday, maybe in a few years.

hopefully the Cuphead Game will be on a game card too, I still haven’t beaten that game sadly....I really need to try to get one of my family to be my player-2

so that I can maybe beat the hard bosses.

yeah know, Cuphead and Mugman should have common sense not to go into a casino that is run by the Devil.

well them and the debtors, the debtors should of had some sense not to make a deal with the Devil.

I wonder if it’s weird to have thoughts of flipping off the Grandpa Watchers and Nephilim.....? 

or the whole having thoughts of flipping off the Devil himself too...?

and in case there is any confusion, the “Watchers” were Angels....

well I think I would have it in my right to do a double flip the birdy off of them...

for some odd reason a little bit of the song “it’s my life” pop into my head just now....

guess you could say history repeats itself lol.

I mean, if what those mortal men wrote about it is true....

but it is likely one of their fibs.....maybe?

the song it’s my life, it’s by Bon Jovi.

as soon as that song pop into my head, I just had to listen to it.

  even though I might not be able to play Chapter 2 for a while because of the issues that prevent me from playing it.

I did enjoy watching the walkthrough of the chapter 2.

it was worth watching it for hours, plus I was surprised by what happen in the start of the chapter 2....well it happen when Kris went to school and there was something that happen there, which reminded me of well Paper Trial.

I do plan to read more of it on here, of course there is still differences.

but a certain thing that happens at the start of the Chapter 2,

reminds me of it but I wont say what....but what happens in that game that reminds me of Paper Trial, also reminds me of the The Pie Is Canon.

cause of that fan animation that had Kris saying that they were going to eat the whole pie, and it turns out the Chapter 2 Trailer shows that they did in fact eat the whole pie.

so The Pie being ate by Kris at the very end of Chapter 1, is 100% Canon.

 if there was fight between Susie from Deltarune and Cuphead from the Cuphead series.

I think Susie would win, at least I think she would.

plus Cuphead would have to be out of his mind to pick a fight with Susie.

I’m also starting to wonder if Asriel (the one from Deltarune)

might be a bit of a perv...? ^_^;;

if that book he borrowed from the library is a clue and him NEVER returning it.

well, I say it is possible.

Flowey: Has He Have No Shame!?

after finishing listening to it’s my life, I started to listen to some other music.....I’m listening to Equestria Girls songs now.

the magic of friendship is a wonderful thing, but like Sunset said before....

it can be turned into something else, and with how most of the problems in Equestria was solved by turning the “Bad Guys” to stone,

instead of just talking with them and trying to understand their point of view...

I think Sunset and her friends are a bit more better in reforming the bad guys.

I know that not all bad guys from a movie or cartoon or video game series

can be redeemed, that is because they are too far gone or have been really dark from the start.  

  but sometimes a villain, is just a tragic villain who has been hurt by someone either physically, psychology and or emotionally......or all of the above.

it might not be very easy to heal from the wounds.

it might even make you, not as happy as you use to be.     

and when you see a picture of how happy you seem before,

you can just tell that the you that is now, isn’t as happy as the you that is in the picture.

does that make sense...?

but you might still have happy moments and still be okay, and at some days

I don’t believe it is good or right for a Hero or Main Character,

to cross a line when it does not need to be crossed.

like making Magic the scapegoat, and having it be destroyed.

I mean Star Butterfly’s family had been the ones to misuse the magic,

so the magic itself was NEVER the problem....it was her family that was the problem because of their misuse of it.

and Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis could of been reformed if they were spoken to and asked why they were doing it....I still think the “Magic of Friendship”

did cause Chrysalis some trauma, and that is why she broke out of the feeling good bond she was forming with Tirek and Cozy.

I get it, she was hurting, what she’s been through made her distrustful towards friendship and the ponies that took her family away from her.

even if she does have trauma, she might still care about Cozy and Tirek deep down.....well that is what I believe anyway.

 cause in a way, those three are a adoptive family and they need each other.

 what Discord, Celestia and Luna did to them,

I will not agree was the best course of action.

at least in Steven Universe Future, they solved the problem with Steven the right way....and like it was pointed out in that video I mention from Youtube.

the problem started at the VERY beginning in the Steven Universe Series.

even if Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet love Steven,

they still Semi-Neglected him, but not as much as Greg had.

and the video did point out some very important facts.

all the stuff that happen in Steven Universe, was going to erupt in time....

and when it did, it started to in the Steven Universe Future.

we can’t pretend that there was nothing wrong with Steven,

or like after he got back from space and after the whole Lars dying and coming back to life....

Connie didn’t try to see that Steven was trying to act like everything was fine,

and she shouldn’t just make it about herself, yes she had a right to her feelings and to wanting to be there for Steven, but Steven had been through a lot and he was hurting too. it is still good that they made up at some point.

and it is good that Connie finally figured out that there was something wrong with him, and they ended up as boyfriend and girlfriend at the end of Steven Universe Future.

maybe there is a lesson in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.        

if we re-watch Steven Universe, we might can see why he ends up the way he does in Steven Universe Future and how it ended up causing him extreme emotional pain that would at some point make him view himself as Monster to the point of transforming into a type of Gem-Kaiju. 

it took everyone of his friends and family, to get through to him and give him what he needed, for them to hug him, and to be there for him when he was at his lowest.

Steven was at his lowest, it is possible the breaking point might of started at the first episode of Steven Universe Future or maybe in the Movie...who knows.

but at least he is seeing a therapist, he did say that he is seeing one now.

we can’t pretend the problem that Steven was having, didn’t first start at the early series....we just need to try to understand that it was going to break him past the breaking point and that it was gonna become too much for him.

even if Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst did technically  live with him

(and Amethyst became mature enough at some point to comfort him a bit more, and not just act like the teasing older sister.)

they still were half the cause of what happen to him, even if they made sure to help him with his gem powers and with other stuff.

they still ended up not taking care of him when he needed it.

and he might of thought it was normal, at least until he learned later on in Steven Universe Future, that it wasn’t.

even what his Dad did wasn’t okay, I get that Greg’s relationship with his own parents wasn’t perfect, but he is just as bad as them.

yes there could be reasons why Greg never got his way,

like one of the theories being that one of his parents had very sensitive hearing and couldn’t take really loud music.

another theory I have is that Steven might of went to go live his Grandparents when he left Beach City.

even if his Grandparents could be disappointed with Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst, they might still see them as a bit more responsible than their son Greg.....who could end up having their full disappointment.

  Greg ended up with so much money, and yeah he could of still treat himself.

but he could of send Steven to the hospital, and even hire a tutor for Steven.

but no, he doesn’t do that at all.

and we know what happen in Steven Universe Future

when Doctor Maheswaran points out some very important facts to Steven.

and Steven ends up getting really mad at his Dad, which I don't’ blame him for getting mad, plus the wreck wouldn’t of happen if Greg had stop being so insensitive to Steven’s feelings of wanting to have what he had and took for granted.

Greg only made things worse, with his talk of “freedom”

and even the whole “Gem” thing....

being a Gem, is only half of who Steven is.

and all his life, he was made to think he was only made to be like a replacement for his Mother....and even question what he is for, like with the whole Nora episode.

I still love Steven Universe, as well as the Movie and the Steven Universe Future. 

even if it takes myself and other fans to finally realize that Steven’s problems didn’t first start in Steven Universe Future, BUT in the first series.

and over time during Steven’s childhood it was only getting worse.

we want to believe that Steven’s life was perfect in the first series,

and the bad times he had in most of them, he got through with a smile on his face with no problems at all.         

who knows what the next show will be that Rebecca Sugar will make next,

but I know I wouldn’t mind seeing what comes next, just got to keep a eye out.

also you know how I believe the Darkners from Deltarune

are Tulpa, and from what we see in Chapter 2,

the new Darkners we see in it, are also Tulpa

and there are many different type of Tulpa.

well, I can’t help but wonder if Chara might be a Tulpa.

it is possible that the Red Soul in Undertale and the one in Deltarune,

are one in the same and are Chara.

and when the Player meets Chara after a Geno-Run....

they are really meeting them inside of Frisk’s Head.

I think it is possible that in Undertale, memories have been rewritten by the Man Who Speaks In Hands.

and the human that Prince Asriel befriended and became family to,

wasn’t Chara......but Kris.

with no soul, the Chara-Soul was placed inside the empty body that was buried under the bed of flowers.

 that is possible, but it might just be a theory that might not end up being true.

unless it is....well I do have a theory that Undertale will be one of the chapters.

if that happens that means Crossover, or not....it is just a theory after all.

it be really awesome if that turn out to be true.

a future Chapter having a Crossover between those two games would be really interesting.

I think it might be possible that the two games could be cleaved worlds, once being one in the same before splitting and breaking apart.

we can think about what was originally going to be in the original version,

as the original world before splitting into Undertale and Deltarune.

Chapter 2 was Awesome, well even if I could only watch a walkthrough of it and I couldn’t play it because of what I spoke about before in this....

but I hope that I will be able to play it sometime.

but for now, I am happy with just watching it until I am able to play it myself.

[ghostmartyr]

Are you still watching RWBY? What did you think of Volume 8 overall

VOLUME 9 NEVERLAND SAGA WHERE NO ONE CAN HIDE FROM THEIR TRAUMA OR THEIR FRIENDS BY TRYING TO STOP IRONWOOD FROM BLOWING UP HALF THE KINGDOM HE’S SUPPOSEDLY PROTECTING WHILE ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS AND ALLIES THINK THEY’RE DEAD.

POGCHAMP.

I enjoyed Volume 8, but I think it stumbles at the end enough to look back at its time management and feel not totally great about it.

Cinder’s development is solid. I’m still not very attached to her, but she has attained my interest at long last. Good for you, Cinder. Solve your emotional problems with murder. Kill Watts. Give Neo a reason to go back to trying to kill you. Make yet another mortal enemy. I support these actions.

Emerald’s flip means she won’t have sad eyes over all the atrocities she’s playing witness to while the timer goes down on her defection anymore, and that’s cool.

Ironwood’s everything is... well. Yeah. Great. Nothing like watch someone destroy themself. Oh, and everything else around them in the process. Once he got started, it was pretty clear where he was going, and that’s just sad. He goes from hugging Qrow and finding relief in his allies to shooting all of them. Shooting Jacques along the way does not even that out.

The Ace-Ops felt too cluttered for the final parts. They’re the cautionary tales, obviously, but I don’t think we get enough time detailing them for them to be on the same stage as Winter coming into her own and RWBY falling into oblivion. Qrow and Robyn get the slow burn and then the panicked call to immediate action, but for the Ace-Ops, Marrow and Harriet are the only ones who the narrative actively does something with. Marrow’s problems are obvious from the start, and Harriet’s emotional heat hints, and then reveals, a depth of trauma that this system has been crap at handling. But Vine and Elm, the critical pieces in talking her down, and centerpieces of keeping Mantle from blowing up, aren’t prominent enough in the narrative for their place in its resolution to feel quite earned. I think if we’d gotten an extra episode it would have worked a little better. As it was, I was left wanting more focus on the central cast.

Which is kind of why I’m so thrilled that RWBY+J are maybe stuck spending some quality time together. The macro plot matters, obviously, but they’ve been moving so fast. Atlas feels like a speedrun of a kingdom falling, and a little more interplay between my faves would be very welcome.

Then there’s the obvious.

Oh, Penny.

I can’t feel good about Penny’s handling in the end.

The Winter Maiden, as soon as we’re introduced, is waiting to die and offer her power to the next one in line. Winter was intended for that, but Penny interrupts.

Two days later, Winter has the power, and Penny’s dead.

This is necessary so that Winter has time to center what she actually believes before she’s upgraded to demigodhood. Winter as the Winter Maiden leading into Volume 8 would have kept her on Ironwood’s script. The disruption of expectations that leaves her vulnerable forces her to respond to what is going on, not what her side believes should be going on.

It makes sense to delay Winter’s ascension, because it gives Winter perspective that she can’t access as long as she’s in her chain of established command.

Making Penny’s value tie entirely back to supporting someone else’s story. She’s allowed to be a real girl, she’s allowed to fight for what she believes in, she’s allowed to have friends, but becoming the Winter Maiden serves Winter’s storyline more than it serves Penny’s.

Which isn’t to say they do nothing with her. Obviously, the virus making the vault look good creates a variety of opportunities. Sure, they could have filled in another domino without Penny specifically, but she’s an instrumental part of getting them inside that vault in how the story goes.

Creating a new body for her is a complicated thing. Penny’s a real girl no matter what her form is, but if you say that while cutting out the nuts and bolts -- it’s a little mixed. In the most benign way I can put my preferences, I like Penny being a robot. I’m thrilled she knows how warm a hug can feel (Pietro, patch notes, get on it), but...

Before Watts causes problems on purpose, Penny shows a little hesitance about not being your standard model of girl, but unless I’ve been worse about my watching comprehension than I thought, she doesn’t have any burning need for flesh. Changing her body is the best solution they can up with in response to her agency being violated.

It’s not my favorite thing in the world. I don’t think it’s entirely good faith to pin all of the possible unfortunate implications on it, but they exist, and they are there. And on the flip side, being granted a body that is created through nothing but who you are is a sentiment that I’m sure resonates with a lot of people. I think there’s a lot to observe in what Penny’s going through, and it’s worth discussion more than angry words.

Except before there’s a chance to collect opinion polls on that, we once again have her asking for death before she hurts her friends.

I believe there’s a post on LotR somewhere that explains why people are okay with it being a mood shift from The Hobbit. People aren’t huge fans of media they consume invalidating media they previously invested in.

Penny dies, then she comes back. Then she dies.

Penny interrupts the inevitability of Winter becoming the Winter Maiden. Then Winter becomes the Winter Maiden.

It feels like a zero sum game, but a zero sum game where our emotions were torqued around for the sake of it, and the object of said torquing is being utilized as a plot object prior to being a character.

Penny obviously has a lot of personality, and a lot of established emotional ties. She’s not just a lamp standing in a corner.

But to use the apt metaphor, you can see the strings. Penny’s trajectory seems to be moving under its own velocity -- but then that ending hits. Despite going through all of the steps to make sure that Penny doesn’t have to sacrifice herself to keep the people she loves safe, despite actually being really creative and clever about doing everything possible to keep her alive --

The plot demands her death.

It isn’t good enough to fix the pressing issue that made sacrifice look good. Sacrifice is still the ultimate answer.

Thematically, that doesn’t jive with the story we’ve been getting.

Emotionally, what the fuck, could we not.

(What’s better than the cute robot girl begging for death? Doing it twice!)

People who are in a more optimistic state about fiction at the moment have noted that Pinocchio does do a lot of dying, and I do like the read of Penny as Jiminy Cricket. Considering the full context of the world, there’s more to justify a return than a lot of characters get. It wouldn’t be the most shocking thing ever.

It’s still kind of fucked up. Penny doesn’t kill herself, but she asks others to kill her, and that’s her being a good girl.

The National Suicide Hotline gets its number placed in the summary of the episode.

Obviously there’s more to it than that, but the implications are there, and a very painful thorn when looking over the rest of her. Creating an environment where it makes sense for this character to kill themself, it’s noble, even --

I don’t think that’s a route of story that the available material handles gracefully.

It’s the “twice” that really hammers the point down into the coffin. It creates a pattern of behavior in Penny. Once, and okay. Heroic sacrifice plays are always a major source of drama, exemplifying how Good the person making the sacrifice is, and how Tragic it is that we’re losing such a good person, all because they have principles and just love these other people so much.

Only if you have a character asking someone to kill them twice in relatively quick succession, the callback isn’t to feats of heroics. It’s suicidal tendencies.

If you’re not prepared to deal with implications of that magnitude, you’ve got to make the link a lot less suggestive. Otherwise you’re telling a new story whether you like it or not, and it’s not one you’re ready for, drastically upping the odds that it’s not going to be the most polished thing ever.

What the issue becomes then, in my personal opinion, is pacing (’hey self why is the answer always pacing’ ‘because shut up’). Penny’s joy of life is a blip in between her asking for death. The heroic nature of her desire for death mixed with the awful despair of her actual death makes this endpoint of her story saturated with a darkness that sours the entire experience.

Complicating it further is the issue of trust.

The writers killed her and brought her back just to kill her again. If they do bring her back again, the faith is kind of broken. Once you show that you’re willing to move a character around like a piece on a chessboard, your audience isn’t going to trust the story enough to invest. They’re going to be looking for the strings. For a complicated special effect that takes a lot of strings, that’s a pain, because the agreement with stories is supposed to be that yes, there are strings, that’s our medium.

If you don’t trust the writers, you are not going to believe in the story.

For my personal taste, if the writers are doing something more with Penny, their presentation has made it difficult for me to see value in the journey, even if the destination happens to be something I ultimately approve of.

Anyway Robyn needs to officially adopt Qrow. He has been a bad guy bandit, now he can be a good guy bandit.

He can be the Happy Huntresses’ cute animal mascot.

That is all that matters.

That is my one, solitary thought on the entire volume.

Thanks for the ask!

[hyperfixationtimego]

I'm interested in the killing game au of all three games you mentioned! Tell me more! I c r a v e this kind of content, there's simply not enough of it and it's a crime!

AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE!!!!!

okay okay okay okay okay so

Like I said, it involves every character from the main three games. So obviously it’s a lot of people. Not for long but shhh

None of the anime is canon because I don’t have enough patience to watch it nor do I care

Technically the kids from sdr2 still got to be considered alive after their game, but like I said the anime isn’t canon so basically what happened was the survivors escaped the simulation and began waiting for everybody else to wake up. And then boom now they’re here. Everybody who died just….suddenly wakes up here and it sucks <3

Anyway

The survivors are clearly,,,,,,not enthused to be back in this bullshit. Some are taking it better than others. (Makoto & Toko are both hit with a huge wave of depression and it manifests in different ways for both of them, Hajime is simultaneously PISSED OFF but also relieved to see Chiaki alive and well. They have a very tender reunion when they see each other again for the first time items very sweet there’s lots of hugging and crying and brushing each other on the cheek to make sure the other is real and OUGH I just love them so much. Kyoko is the “this is fine” meme personified, Togami is also pissed but doesn’t let it show, Hiro is predictably scared out of his fucking mind, yadda yadda yadda. Also scared is Kazuichi, but he and Sonia, who is disheartened to have to go through all this again but confident that everybody can make it through, are finally reunited with Gundham so that’s something!!! Akane is abt as carefree as she was during the neo world program, but seeing all her friends again, ESPECIALLY coach Nekomaru, makes her so fucking excited that she just. Punches a wall and screams /pos HDBWMDB FUYUHIKO AND PEKO REUNION REAL!!!!! UGHHRHEJ GOD I LOVE THEM??? Maki is silently stewing in her own rage, Himiko is both bawling her eyes out while simultaneously Feeling Nothing (which, honestly, that’s a vibe), and Shuichi is in emotionally unstable wonderland because OH THANK GOD KAEDE AND KAITO ARE BACK AND REAL AND HE GETS TO HUG THEM AND HOLD THEM but also there IS the looming threat of possible death again so. Yeah. Fun.)

As for everybody who’s died, they’re all experiencing a lot of phantom pain in relation to however they died. (For example, Sayaka frequently feels a sharp pain in her abdomen, and her wrist aches if she moves it too quickly or suddenly. Leon’s entire body consistently hurts all over, and he sometimes feels as though he’s choking or being restrained. Chihiro gets headaches every so often. Etc. etc. etc.)

They’re also adorned with some nifty new scars, too, which a lot of them are pretty pissed about because it serves as a constant reminder of the traumas they suffered but w/e (suicidal thoughts tw - Nagito in particular has some trouble with this one. Literally every single scar is a reminder of the horrible things he did, both in the simulation and out of it - a reminder that he was so close to not having to be alive anymore, a reminder that he is dangerous and that he is tired and everything is fucking bad) (he’s getting impromptu therapy from Hajime “done with this motherfucker’s shit” Hinata so they’re. working on it HSNSBDDN dw dw)

Haha memories are also an important thing, too, actually!!! It’s used as a motive (whoever kills someone will receive the memories of their forgotten school life or, in the case of the ndrv3 kids, their forgotten identities)

BUT obviously that puts Mikan in a weird position - she REMEMBERS having the remembrance disease, and she REMEMBERS what she learned, but the memories are distant and hazy. As if they aren’t really hers. (Monokuma is able to fuck with people’s emotions the same as memories - this was mostly done to actually give Mikan a fighting chance at Not Being Found Out As a Murderer Within the First Three Seconds HDNWMEHDN anyway Mikan recovery rights ❤️) ✨it’s the trauma✨

The building they’re in is HUGE + also includes things like Ultimate labs & an outside area like in ndrv3. The Thh kids are like “still hate it here but thank GOD at least there’s sunlight. no I don’t give a shit if it’s fake or artificial or whatever”

And how was Monokuma able to bring people back from the dead???? Why is the cast of ndrv3 here???? Well to answer the first question, it’s because he’s spicy like that. And to answer the second question idk I think he just likes ‘em. He thinks they’re neat ❤️

Tsumugi and Mukuro are both here and they’re treated like normal participants! They have no special ties to the mastermind of this new and improved killing game, but that does not make their peers any less suspicious of them! (Is junko alive??? Where is she???? Is she masterminding this shit??????? 👀)

And nobody is safe from death. Not even protagonist squad, there i said it. Every single protag goes Through Some Shit and whether or not each individual one ends up surviving is 👀 *wiggles eyebrows*

I. THINK that’s it for the general gist of the circumstances, but I absolutely can and will get more specific about things if u would like me to. There are character dynamics + plot points + motives + unresolved pining + resolved pining that is very quickly immediately destroyed + psychological horror and MORE baby we haven’t even scratched the SURFACE yet

[crossdressingdeath]

(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC 

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

[incorrectbatclan]

Hiiiiii I'm new!!!!! Could you please explain who's who? Who's in the Bat Family, and their backstories please?! ❤️❤️

For this I’ve only done Bruce’s actual like genuinely adopted family (and Alfred) because it was getting really long!! Let me know If you want to hear about the rest and I’ll either make another post or reblog this one and add onto it. I tried my best lol!!

Alfred Pennyworth - Bruce’s batler and kind-of-dad rolled into one, tired, old man who just wants his family to be safe. The best baker, cook and costume creator of the group, absolutely no one can touch him or I Will Cry. Used to be in Her Majesty’s Secret Service before moving to America, so he can kick some ass - I’ve heard different code names for him, the most popular being Agent A or Penny-One, both very good at keeping secret identities secret. 👨‍🦳 /10

Bruce Wayne - This one should be obvs, he’s Batsy. Son of Martha and Thomas Wayne, he was orphaned when they were shot in an alley on their way home one night. He’s also a multi-billionaire due to his company Wayne industries, which you never hear anything about bc all he does is run around dressed in his fursona costume and punch people. Emotionally constipated, but he does love his kids a lot, even if he doesn’t show it. He’s 80 years old this year (2019), what an old man. Get some therapy. Around 40-45? 🦇/10

Dick Grayson - The original Boy Wonder/Robin. An absolutely feral child, and a slightly calmer adult. Was probably responsible for Batcomputer, Batmobile, Batarang, and many others due to his Holy Puns Batman! Born and raised in a circus as a trapeze artist/acrobat until his parents fell and died at any age between 8-12; it changes regularly. After this, he was taken in by Bruce and destroyed every chandelier he had by swinging off of it. When he’d outgrown Robin, he became Nightwing, a name he got from the Kryptonian legend and moved to Bludhaven (Gotham’s little sister city). He’s known as the funny one in the family, but in any other group, he’s the serious one so take that as u will lol. He’s the Robin you’ll see in pretty much any show about DC that has sidekicks in. Has a temper, don’t let fanon fool u. Was also Batman when Bruce died for a little bit before he was found again. Also “””””died”””””” for a bit, worked as a secret agent, back now. Absolutely amazing appalling sense in fashion. Around 24-27? 🕺/10

Cassandra Cain- Daughter of two of the best assassins in the world, and was raised to be a human weapon until she ran after her first assassination at age 8 and lived on the streets until 17 where she became one of Oracle’s agents, and later Bruce took her in and adopted her too. Due to her father’s training, she’s unable to speak with words well, and instead can read peoples body language and movement, often uses sign language to speak instead if the writer’s not a coward. She’s highly skilled in many different ways and is also my fucking child, I love her a lot. She went by Batgirl for a bit, before going by the code name Black Bat. Sometimes Orphan is used but I’m not sure why or in what comics. The cool one. She’s around Jason’s age, maybe younger, probably older. 🥰/10

Jason Todd - The second Robin, now Red Hood. Died angry, came back wrathful. Jason was living in Crime Alley, one of the dingiest places in Gotham, which is where he saw the Batmobile one day, and just decided to rob the wheels. Right there and then. Not only that but when Bruce caught him doing it, he started smacking him with a tire iron. He’s the passionate one, to say the least. Anyway, Bruce saw this kid robbing him and he was like ‘I have to have him’. So he did. For about 3 years maybe, then he died. Bc, he ran off, and the Joker killed him in a warehouse oop-. Anyway, he came back maybe a few years later to find another Robin in his place, and the clown who killed him still kicking, so he went on a murderous rampage, taking the mantle of Red Hood until he calmed down a bit. Now he’s like that angry brother u only see on holidays because Alfred makes him. Under all that anger he’s a sweetheart though, and I’m pretty sure he loves Classical Lit. Sometimes runs around with a group called the Outlaws, members changing regularly, but you have to be a redhead. Bizarro is the exception bc u can’t say no to him. Around 21? 😠/10

Tim Drake- Tim was the son of Bruce’s next-door neighbours, Jake and Janet Drake, often depicted as assholes, bc they literally just leave their kid to go do whatever they want ig????? Anyway, Timmy was like super smart, and when he was young, managed to figure out who Batman and Robin were bc he stalked them and took pictures of them every night. Sneaky. Then Jason died, Bats was like all sad and shit and wasn’t coping well so Tim just knocked on his door and was like ‘Yeah okay make me Robin’, and after maybe the 10th attempt, Bruce did. Anyway, his parents died somehow (the ‘how’ varies) and Bruce was like, yeah okay I’ll have another one. Tim’s a master hacker and he’s all-around baby, mainly bc he doesn’t fucking sleep. Was Dick’s first Robin when he was Batman, before Damian came along and got Robin instead, so he named himself Red Robin because he’s creative and petty like that. Not that I wouldn’t be tbf. Went off to find Bruce when he “died” bc he didn’t believe he was dead, and he wasn’t so like? Anyway, he changed his name to Drake recently, which is stupid so just ignore that. Needs to stop drinking coffee. Around 17? 🐉/10

Damian Wayne-Such a precious little shit. Blood son of Bruce Wayne and the assassin, Talia Ah Ghul, daughter of one of Bruce’s frenemies. He was trained all the way through his childhood to be the perfect sidekick for Bruce, so some of the things he was taught fucked him up a wee bit, but he’s slowly learning that not everything has to be difficult and he is allowed to have fun sometimes. In his eyes for a while, he was Bruce’s only son, because he was the only blood related one. Soon got told to shut up and shown that that wasn’t true. Now secretly loves his family but would die before admitting it. A baby. Became Dick’s Robin after Tim and they ended up being really close and I love them a lot. Absolutely adores animals, and adopts every animal he sees. Just like his father does with kids. Around 13.  🐈/10

The others are Kate Kane, Duke Thomas, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon and Selina Kyle. A villains list would be quite fun actually too!

Second Post! - Rest of the vigilantes

[carewyncromwell]

((Prevously on “Quest for the Quidditch Cup”...))

[It didn’t take long for Carewyn to track down the “witness” Rita Skeeter had mentioned. Murphy had apparently caught wind of the same rumor not long after Rita, and so he, Orion, and Carewyn followed up with the student called “Face Paint Kid” (Carewyn would’ve preferred to call him by his name, but given how stubborn he was about it, she decided there was no real reason to argue the point).

Face Paint Kid confirmed Carewyn’s initial suspicion -- it had, in fact, been an accident. Although Carewyn was glad to know that Rath hadn’t injured Skye on purpose, however, she could tell Orion was anxious. She doubted anyone else would be able to tell, given that his voice never rose out of his usual relaxed, laid-back tone -- but she could still feel something faintly tense coming off of him. Sure enough, when Murphy, Orion, and Carewyn headed to the Quidditch Pitch, Orion passed the time by balancing on one leg on his broom, rather than sitting down in the stands with Murphy and Carewyn.]

‘If he’s trying to find his center, he must be worried..’

[Right on time, Skye hobbled up into the stands to meet them. Her arm cradled the left side of her chest as she walked.]

Orion: “I’m glad to see you’ve recovered, Skye.”

[Despite his detached, dreamy voice, Carewyn could see the softness in his dark eyes. It kind of reminded her of her mother Lane when she was happy -- even if Lane had never been a loud or animated person, her eyes always deepened that same way when they were happy.]

Murphy: “Try not to scare us like that again, all right? I don’t think our hearts can take it!”

[Skye grinned confidently at Murphy.]

Skye: “Don’t worry, a Bludger can’t keep me down! Not for long, anyway.”

[Carewyn offered Skye a small smile.]

“It’s good to see you back on your feet again.”

Skye: “Thanks...Madame Pomfrey won’t let me play in the match, but I can still help our team with the Quidditch Cup! And destroy Rath in the process...”

[The mention of Rath seemed to drain the relief right out of the space. Murphy, Carewyn, and Orion suddenly all looked a lot more solemn.]

“About that...”

[Carewyn glanced at Orion out the side of her eye grimly -- the team Captain took over for her very quickly.]

Orion: “Face Paint Kid saw what happened between you and Rath.”

[Skye clearly had not “read the room,” for her face burst into a big, triumphant grin.]

Skye: “Smashing! Can’t wait to show everyone what kind of witch Rath really is...”

Orion: “He says it was an accident.”

[The grin slid off of Skye’s face. Carewyn felt as though the air had abruptly chilled ten degrees.]

[Carewyn straightened up, her shoulders locking into place in her most assertive posture.]

“He’d been on the opposite side of the Training Grounds as you when it happened. He said that Rath hadn’t noticed you at all, when you walked up behind her. When you first got hit, Rath even looked surprised at first...as if she hadn’t know anybody else was there.”

[Skye took in the explanation silently, but there was no sense of acceptance or relief in her expression. Her eyes were burning with an indecipherable emotion.]

Skye: “...You think Rath hit me with a Bludger by accident.”

[Carewyn could hear upset and anger burbling under the surface of Skye’s voice like lava.]

“That’s what Face Paint Kid said.”

Murphy: “He didn’t want to tell us, which increases the likelihood that he’s telling the truth by...87.6%.”

[Like Carewyn and Murphy, Orion had kept her voice as level and patient as possible -- Skye, however, reacted as defensively as if he’d accused her of a crime.]

Murphy: “(quickly) We didn’t say that!”

Orion: “(gently) Telling the truth as you saw it is not ‘making things up.’ You merely reached a conclusion without considering alternatives. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Skye: “(belligerently) I’m not ashamed of it! Why should I be the one to be ashamed, when my own teammates won’t support me? Whatever happened to us being a family, Orion?”

[Orion’s eyes became a little smaller as his lips came together silently. Before he could come up with a response, however, Carewyn cut in sharply.]

“Family doesn’t mean never disagreeing about anything.”

[Memories of her mother telling her and Jacob about her abusive family rippled over her mind.]

“I know you’re upset about what happened, but don’t take it out on Orion -- ”

Skye: “(bitterly) Yup, here we go -- swooping in like a knight-in-shining armor and making me out like I’m the bad guy, just like before...”

[Carewyn crossed her arms reproachfully.]

“And here I thought you’d acknowledged starting those rumors about Rath was wrong.”

Skye: “(snaps) Who cares?”

“Not you, from the sound of things.”

[Skye got right up in Carewyn’s face, lording over her with her taller height.]

Orion: “Skye -- ”

Murphy: “Skye, take it easy!”

Skye: “(harshly) Yeah, well, maybe I don’t! It’s because of her that I can’t play in my last Hogwarts match ever -- the last chance I’ll ever have, to win the Cup for Slytherin! Why should I care?”

Orion: “Skye -- ”

[The Quidditch Captain’s voice sounded a bit pained in how he tried to talk Skye down, but Skye determinedly ignored him, which made Carewyn if possible even madder.]

Skye: “Just because you’re a little Fairy Tale Princess who can’t imagine having any enemies -- !”

[Rakepick’s smirking face flaring through her mind was the straw that broke Carewyn’s back. She didn’t either cower or get up in Skye’s face in return. Instead she rather coldly raised a hand and poked it right into Skye’s collarbone as she took a step back, so as to regain some personal space without looking like she was retreating. ]

“Just because you don’t care how much you hurt both Rath and your team’s reputation by starting up false rumors doesn’t mean nobody else does. Just because you don’t care that you mouthed off to Rita Skeeter about how terrible Rath is knowing it could end up in print doesn’t mean nobody else does. Just because you think Rath hit you on purpose doesn’t mean anybody else does. You are not infallible, Skye -- otherwise you’d see that we’re trying to help you...but all you can do is ignore everyone else’s feelings in favor of your own ego!”

Orion: “(forcefully) Carewyn, please!”

[Carewyn looked up at Orion. The Quidditch Captain’s usually clear face for the first time betrayed some anxiety.

Carewyn’s righteous anger flickered and died. Skye’s glare bore very coldly into Carewyn’s face.]

[Orion’s attempt at soothing, however, was met with no softness.]

Skye: “Yeah, well...suppose we aren’t much of a team, then.”

[Her voice dripped with passive aggressiveness as she turned on her heel, grabbing her side gingerly.]

Skye: “Have fun at your match. Bet you’ll win...now that I’m not there to muck everything up, like I always do...”

[Carewyn watched her go. Once Skye had left the stands, Carewyn closed her eyes, bowing her head and exhaling heavily through her nose.]

Murphy: “She doesn’t mean it -- winning means far too much to her for her to really bow out. (lowly) ...She’s just upset.”

[He gave Orion a reassuring look. Orion interlaced his fingers in front of him as he balanced on his broom, his dark eyes very dark and unreadable.]

Orion: “I’d hoped the truth would allow Skye to heal emotionally -- that it would bring our team together...”

[His eyes absently rested on Carewyn’s bowed head.]

Orion: “...But instead...our team’s been torn apart.”

[Carewyn felt a cold pit in her stomach as she opened her eyes, staring down at the floor of the stands.

She wanted to feel bad for Skye -- but in order to do that, she felt like she’d have to give Skye credit for how she felt -- and Skye was just too objectively wrong for that. Even so...Carewyn knew how much the situation hurt Orion. Orion and Skye had played together nearly from the beginning...and Carewyn knew how much Orion loved his team. Orion had told her about his home life -- how he’d been raised in an orphanage with no structure and little affection, and how Quidditch had become the home he’d so longed for.

With some difficulty, Carewyn forced herself to look up at Orion and meet his eyes.]

“(softly) ...I’m sorry, Orion.”

Not for what I said...but I know I could’ve said it better, if I didn’t lose my temper.

[Orion’s dark eyes softened slightly.]

Orion: “As always, your inner fire dwarfs that of a Fire Crab. It’s merely that, right now, that blaze was the last thing we needed, in a field already on fire.”

[Carewyn fixed Orion with a sharp look.]

“Maybe...but I couldn’t stay silent while Skye hurt you -- even if you are a good enough person to turn the other cheek.”

[She was again reminded of Ben’s words in Jacob’s room.

“ -- putting everyone else’s needs and feelings before your own, even when it clearly hurts you – blaming yourself for everything, letting your friends hurt you and never making any move to hurt them back – I’m grateful for it, Carewyn – but I hate it! I hate it, because I’ve seen how much fear and pressure all of that’s  put you through – and I’m sick of having to watch you suffer, silent and alone, especially when it’s pointless!”]

It’s something we have in common.

[There was an odd, startled flicker in Orion’s usually detached dark eyes -- something deeper and almost a little more fragile. Before Carewyn could try to get a fix on his feelings, however, the gleam had vanished and he gave her a more usual wry smile.]

Orion: “...It’s little wonder your name includes the word ‘care,’’ Carewyn Cromwell.”

[His face then grew much more serious again.]

Orion: “Nonetheless...”

[Carewyn got to her feet.]

“(firmly) I’ll go. I set Skye off, so I’ll take responsibility for this.”

Hopefully I’ll have better luck smoothing things out with Rath than with Skye...

((OOC: Carewyn’s always been closest to Orion out of the three Quidditch-exclusive characters -- and honestly, given that Orion’s philosophical bent reminds Carewyn of her brother and the lack of love and support in his childhood reminds her of her mother, it’s little wonder why. Orion’s always nurtured a soft spot for Carewyn too, even after she left the team -- she remains one of the few people he’s ever told his life story to, alongside Skye and other select players on his team.

I tried to keep Skye’s overall attitude pretty close to how she acts in the game despite the changed timeline and relationship dynamics...but I’m sorry, Carewyn’s sentiment is the same as mine: Skye doesn’t deserve sympathy right now. If you’re more fond of Skye as a character than I am, I totally understand -- but I guess from a personal perspective, Skye just reminds me of some very toxic people I used to know, in how she disregards other people’s feelings and attacks anyone’s attempts to “check” or “correct” her, even when the person is being as sensitive as possible. There’s no reason that Murphy, Orion, and MC had to walk on eggshells about telling Skye this, or that this revelation should’ve ended with Skye being upset -- there is no sympathetic reason at all for her to be upset that it was an accident. She thinks her team thinks she’s a liar? No, they made it clear they don’t think that. She’s upset because she was wrong? No reason to shoot the messenger. She’s upset because Rath can’t get shunned and/or kicked off the team for hurting her? That would make Skye the sort of person who’d want to punish someone for having done nothing wrong. If you feel sympathy for Skye being wrong, I can understand that, and I truly am a bit sad Jam City has so effectively robbed Skye of character development -- but the way Skye’s written, I just can’t justify Overly-Sensitive!Mama-Bear!Empath!Carewyn being friends with her. Just like in the game, the two ladies will come together to figure out a way to deal with Rath and the Ravenclaws, and I do plan on writing Skye as a gray character rather than a completely one-dimensionally awful one -- but she will not be counted as one of Carewyn’s friends.))

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #370

“breakdowns, obscenities, it’s all i wanna be”

Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? Downloading music, for one. I really should just start using Spotify... but my iPod has over 1k songs on it and I just seriously don't want to got through all the trouble. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? Hm. I dunno. What kinds of videos do you like to watch on YouTube, if any? I watch SO many different kinds. It used to be pretty strictly let's plays, but I've definitely expanded my watching interests. Now I'm really into watching educational reptile and tarantula husbandry and keeping channels, I watch one woman who is like my weight loss idol (Jordan Shrinks, she is amazing), there's a few vloggers, I enjoy some World of Warcraft channels, and then there's a couple urban exploration guys I like. I also occasionally watch some beauty YouTubers just for their personalities and the art of it. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? Yes, but they were so busy that I didn't connect with anyone before I finally gave up and ODed. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? Ummmm I don't really know. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I care a lot about other people. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? The breakup. It brought me to the lowest of lows, where every day was a struggle to survive. It taught me I can endure through almost anything, even if it doesn't feel like I can. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Happiness, contentment, being in love, motivation, energy, activities, travel... There's genuinely a lot. IIs there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? I'm very bad at ignoring things. If something is bothering me, it's going to put up a beastly fight to be at the forefront of my mind. What is something you wish was different about your family? I wish we were closer and better off monetarily. What keeps you going lately? The hope for a happy, satisfactory future. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? if so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? I've been in a long-distance relationship with another girl. I think the hardest part was that there was not being able to physically be there for each other when one of us was really struggling, and sometimes communication was an issue, not being able to read body language when we voice chatted or hear the tone in which we "spoke" when texting, though I'm pretty sure that's an issue with any online relations. I also feel it's difficult to really build and experience your chemistry with one another when you're not physically with the other person. I still think all these challenges were worth overcoming, though. I in no way regret the relationship and got only good things out of it. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? I'm kinda torn between Jason and Colleen, but I think my bond with Jason was ultimately more unhealthy because it went beyond love: he was an obsession. Having him with me was the only thing that brought me joy, and I lit-er-a-lly could not imagine my future without him. Like that concept just didn't exist; it was entirely impossible in my head. On his end, he failed to communicate what he was going through emotionally, which only contributed to the damage. I never knew he was struggling because of me. Without realizing it, I put so much pressure on him to make me happy, so to answer the last question, no, we don't, by his decision - and I don't blame him. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? A neverending battle I have with myself is if how I treated Jason after the breakup was qualifiable as emotional abuse, specifically with messaging him things like "thanks for sending me to the ER" and shit. My therapist reassures me that it wasn't abusive because I wasn't being deliberately manipulative, but rather genuinely hurt and convinced I had been wronged and wanted him to know and acknowledge it. She agrees that it was wrong, which I entirely agree with, but sometimes, I'm still convinced I was abusive. I fucking hate answering this question, so hurrying up: I don't know if he's forgiven me. As for how others could reconcile, that's not for me to say. I know sometimes the answer is to NOT make amends and completely stay away from their abuser. It's not my right to tell others how to cope with their abuse. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? My former best friend Colleen was toxic as all fuck hell, and I let her back in way too many times. No, she never changed. I honesty doubt she ever will, given her pride. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? Hmmm... I know this was semi-recent, but whatever it was is evading me at the moment. I personally have zero issue with adults engaging in activities like that; let people do what they enjoy if they're not harming anyone, especially things as innocent as dressing how they think is cute, etc. I would far rather people "act like children" (not emotionally, you know what I mean) than run around the streets selling drugs and shit. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? When I was riding to the sleep study section of the health plaza, where the hospital is, my anxiety spiked quite a bit, recalling all of my ER stays for being suicidal. It didn't help that the psych hospital I visited most is also in that whole jumble of buildings. I dealt with it by reminding myself I was in that area for a very different reason, and Mom reassured me that where I would be staying was more like a small hotel room than a hospital bed, which was true, so that helped. Regarding the next question, I'm not gonna lie to ya, I have a stupid amount of PTSD triggers: certain music, shows, fandoms, places, smells, even tastes of certain foods. I tend to stay away from my major triggers, but I'll *sometimes* fight the tiny ones, because I want that sense of ownership of myself back. If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? Yes. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? I'm VERY sensitive to feeling anything in my nose, and it leads to me needing to blow it a lot. I also can't stand having holes in my socks, but since I wear flip flops essentially everywhere, I don't experience this much. Are you ever afraid to admit to liking something because you’re afraid other people will judge you for it? What is the worst that’s ever happened as a result of you liking something different from the crowd? What about the best thing that’s come as a result of a unique interest? Y E P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing really bad has happened because of admitting my interests, other than hearing things along the lines of "I don't get it." It's very odd, just how horribly receptive I am to judgment about things I like when I don't recall a time where I was ridiculed for anything. But anyway, the best thing to happen from sharing interests for me is making a new friend that likes the same thing, and I will IMMEDIATELY be closer to you than most people I associate with once you've helped me past that vulnerable spot of mine. Have you ever remained good friends with an ex? Yeah. Do you have a negative view of mentally ill people, or are you mentally ill yourself? Do you ever call others crazy, insane, etc? Do you ever call yourself those things? I'm mentally ill and empathize heavily with those who suffer themselves. I absolutely do not have a negative look on mental health sufferers; we don't choose to be victims. I'm definitely not a big fan of abusing terms like "insane," because I've fucking been there, and it's not a term to take lightly. I've thrown 'em around before, but I try to avoid it. I don't call myself any of those things nowadays, but in the deepest trench of my depression and PTSD, I honest to God think I fit the definition of "insane." Does it bother you to have people comment on what you’re eating, or do you not care? What are some comments that would bother you, if any? Do you ever comment on what other people are eating or make assumptions about their intakes? YES. JUST DON'T FUCKING COMMENT. I get EXTREMELY self-conscious when my mom does this sometimes when I occasionally need a small snack to hold me out overnight, and I absolutely never will say something to someone else. It's just rude, imo. Well, I guess if someone was really destroying their health and I was close to them, I would out of concern and be very gentle, but when regarding most people? I'm keeping my thoughts to my damn self. Do you like Redbull? I've never tried it and don't want to. I'm not an energy drink fan. Who is the last person you spent money on? My mom. I remember I bought us fast food when we were out once. What are you looking forward to in the next 4 days? G U Y S!!!!!!!!! I GET MY TATTOO TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!! :'''') Also on the same day, I start my TMS therapy, which I have high hopes for. Have you ever gone a whole day without eating? No. Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep? No, but I did that for years back in middle school. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? Haaaaaaaaa. If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick? I really wish I could cuddle my late pup Teddy again. :/ I was thinking about that recently. Are you tanned? God no. I never am. Do you try to wear dresses whenever you can? No. I wish I was in a shape where I was comfortable wearing spring dresses again... I had this floral skull one in high school that I adored. Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? No. Have you ever been called a bitch? Yes. Did you like the person you last kissed when you kissed them? I loved her. Who did you have a meaningful conversation with last? Sara. Do you have feelings for someone? Yeah, but they're like... on a leash, you could say. I don't let 'em run free and wild, and I know that even if nothing comes of those feelings again, it's fine. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? I think Jason will be this answer for a very long time, if not forever, given the trauma and all. I have to remind myself frequently that I love his memory, not him, because I don't even know him anymore. It's been YEARS since we spoke. Just like I've changed incredibly, I'm sure he has, too. If you saw life in black & white, would that be okay with you? I mean, it would suck, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, what kinds of things are you likely to do? How often do you find you have trouble sleeping? I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop. I'd say I most often get on WoW and refresh the auctions I have up because that tends to tire me out because I do that shit manually to avoid any addon mishaps, and I have a looooot to put up as a gold farmer. What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something to see if I qualified for a sleep study. Are you a patient person? What is one way you have a lot of patience? What about not very much patience at all? I am NOT patient, at least regarding more trivial things, like sitting in waiting rooms. I do have patience though with other people with more serious things, like getting someone to open up to me. At what time during the day do you tend to feel your best? What about the worst? When I first wake up. It's a "fresh start" and it's nice to feel rested. Plus, I open a fresh can of cold soda as my "coffee" for lack of better word, haha. I'm in my worst mood probably late afternoon/early evening, by which time I am incredibly bored and just dulled down. What was the last thing you did that you wish you could take back or do differently? The last thing... I dunno. How frequently do you stay overnight somewhere that isn’t your own home? What things do you miss about home when you’re away? Do you tend to get homesick easily? Pretty much never. I do miss my room and its privacy when I'm away from home, but I wouldn't say I get homesick all that easily, so long as I have WiFi, haha. Do you tend to eat more in the beginning of the day or at night? Do you have a tendency to snack when you���re bored? If so, what kinds of snacks do you normally go for? Not necessarily the beginning of the day, but definitely more than at night. I am BAD about snacking when I'm extremely bored, but at the very least I'm conscious enough to try and find something semi-healthy, like granola bars, fruits, a scoop of peanut butter, but I also sometimes just eat like... a slice of bread or a tortilla. Horrible choice. I'm a carb fiend and I hate it. If you have any dietary restrictions, do you ever miss foods you can’t have? If not, what’s something you haven’t had for a long time that you wish you could eat again? I thankfully don't have any. I've been craving cheesecake like a madman lately. :< The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, too. Is there something you still can’t do even though you’re an adult or might be expected to do this thing? I don't have my license, and my driver's permit is even expired. I'm terrified of driving. I also don't have a job, and I can't cook. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? Uhhh I think someone on Facebook had a baby. Of course I was happy for them. What was the last milestone you reached in your life (graduating, buying a car, starting a family, etc)? What milestone are you going for next, if any? Um... I haven't reached a true milestone in years. Hell, I don't think since I started recovery from the breakup. Do you enjoy getting comments or messages? How likely are you to leave comments or messages for other people? Yeah, it makes me feel cared about. It really depends on the platform on how much I leave other people comments, and I'm extremely shy about messaging, but I'll do it sometimes. When are you most likely to scream (either out of fright, anger, or whatever)? Do you scream or yell often? When was the last time someone screamed at you (or in your presence)? Frustration, for sure. I've screamed into a pillow more than once. I definitely don't yell or especially scream often. I'm sure the last person to yell at me was Mom, but I don't remember about what. What would you say is your STRONGEST emotion? Maybe not the most frequent, but the most intense? And what emotion do you feel most weakly, even if you might feel it more often? I'd saaaay... maybe love. When I love something/someone, I love HARD. I think I experience joy the weakest; it's very muted for me. And lastly, what are you listening to? Is this a band you listen to a lot "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot. I wouldn't say I listen to them a lot, but I have been more than usual lately.

[musekicker]

Core Burn

Korvo gets a parasite that causes a condition called core burn. The parasite is controlling Korvo, pushing him to destroy everything he loves.

Can his family save him before anyone gets hurt or because Korvo’s own core burns him alive from the inside out?

"Come on every one! The water park is going to open soon!" Terry called up the stairs.

Jesse, Yumyulack, and Pupa came down the stairs at speeds that could only be described as near sonic speeds. Nearly pushing each other down the stairs as they squabbled over who was getting downstairs first.

The replicates were dressed for having fun at the water park. Pupa even had on a pair of tiny water floaties on their arms and a inner tube around their waist.

Terry himself was dressed for the water park and had a stripe of sunblock on his face where the nose would be if he were human. A pair of goggles were nestled high on his forehead. He had no plans on using them. Terry just thought that was what people wore to the water park.

"Took you two awhile." Terry said.

"Yumyulack took forever picking out swim shorts." Jesse said.

"I needed to pick the right pair that send the right message. The message being that I'm cool and emotionally distant." Yumyulack said.

"How do you get that across in swim shorts?" Jesse asked.

"If you have to ask you would never get it." Yumyulack said.

Terry picked up the pupa who has gestured to be picked up.

The family was ready for the water park. 

Well, almost all of the family.

"Korvy come on! We're all ready to go!" Terry shouted.

Korvo came down the stairs, still dressed in his every day robes.

"Korvo! You're not even dressed for the water park!" Terry shouted.

The robed alien looked confused.

"What are you talking about?" Korvo asked.

"We talked about this last night! That commercial for the water park came on and I said we should all go there. And you said sure so here we are, getting ready to go to the water park." Terry said.

"You were serious about that?" Korvo asked.

"Yes, Korvo! I was serious. Since when am I not serious? ... About water parks." Terry said.

Korvo rolled his eyes.

"I don't know. The subject has never come up. Besides, why would you want to share the water with a bunch of humans who leave old band aids and who know what else behind?" Korvo said.

Korvo then glanced over Terry.

"And what is with those ugly looking shoes?" Korvo asked.

Terry gasped.

"I'll have you know these are named after a fierce earth animal." Terry said, gesturing down at his crocs.

Korvo was not at all impressed by Terry's claim. 

"Terry, we don't have time to mess around with going to water parks or wearing shoes named after Earth animals anyways." Korvo said. "We have a ship to work on fixing."

"Here we go again." Terry groaned.

"Do you even WANT to get off this planet before the pupa terraforms the planet?" Korvo cried.

"Yeah, of course. But we can't just focus on that all the time." Terry said.

"We could if you didn't hide the focus ray." Korvo said, crossing his arms.

Terry huffed and turned away.

"I'm taking the replicates to the water park. If you feel like being less of a grump you can come join us." Terry said.

Saying that, the rest of the family walked out the house, Terry slamming the door shut behind him.

Terry, the replicates, and the pupa gone,  Korvo stormed up to the lab portion of the house. 

He was fuming.

Korvo stomped the whole way to the attic section, intent on doing some work on the ship before he noticed there was a pile of mail set on the desk. Not that big a stack but still was clearly a couple days worth of mail.

Typical Terry. He hadn't even sorted through the mail.

He might as well do that now.

On top of the pile of mail was a package. Korvo picked it up and glanced at the shipping label. 

It was for him. 

That was very strange. Korvo didn't remember ordering anything though. And he damn well didn't know many people on this planet. So his getting a package was weird.

Who ever had wrote the address and name down did not have good hand writing. It was like a human child's scrawling crayon on a family restaurants kids coloring page.

More worrying, there was  no return address.

 Odd. That wasn't normal was it?

Korvo decided this could possibly some rude or gross prank by someone he or Terry had pissed off in the past. So without even opening it he tossed the package into the wire garbage can.

No need to risk opening what was something probably unpleasant.

The rest of the mail was just typical junk mail and bills. Nothing of great interest. 

"Back to being angry at Terry." Korvo said to himself.

He turned away from the desk to look for the ship manuals where he last left them.

The throwing away of the package was in fact a very wise plan. And if cardboard was a less porous material then maybe the trouble never would had began. 

Something, a red, gel like liquid dripped from the end of the package. Pooling at first at the bottom of the wire trash can it started to quiver. Then it started to ooze it's way out of the trash can. The across the floor. Inch by slow inch.

Korvo passed the gel twice, finding the manuals and needing to take two trips across the attic floor to bring the manuals to the desk.

It was on the second pass towards the desk that the gel latched onto his boot.

Korvo did not notice the gel begin to creep up his boot. He was too busy getting back to his work to even notice that the gel was there.

The moment the gel touched the skin of his ankle it seeped into his skin.

Korvo had not noticed any of this. He was trying to read the manuals. Key word was "trying".

He was getting distracted by thinking about Terry.

Sometimes Terry just made Korvo so angry. And sometimes he thought that they would never get the ship fixed in time.

Why did he let Terry indulge in all this foolishness when there were so many things that needed to be done.

Because he cared about him. Because he cared about all of them, that small inner voice said.

That didn't make his frustration with this whole ship situation any easier. Right now he was so mad he could feel it building in his throat. 

No wait, that wasn't anger. It was something else.

Korvo's eyes went wide as he felt a mass building up, ever growing. He felt the need to dislodge it. 

He broke into a coughing fit. For minutes he coughed and hacked, trying to dislodge the something that was stuck in his throat.

After all that coughing and hacking the mass finally, mercifully moved and ejected his body out through his mouth. 

It was a puff of smoke and ash that escaped his throat.

Korvo stared at the cloud in horror. He extended his hand, palm open to let the ash settle on it. Then he pulled his hand close to get a better look at the substance.

Yes, it was for sure ash.

At this realization he started to feel warm. Like his core was growing ever warmer. So hot.

Like burning.

Korvo's eyes went wide again.

"Oh, oh shit. Oh fuck." Korvo shouted

He understood what was happening now. 

But how?

A quick glance in the direction of where he had thrown the package away confirmed a suspicion. Someone with knowledge of what he was, had access to a sample of the parasite, and wanted to hurt him with it had done this.

Korvo was drawing a blank on who would have that knowledge and motivation. Right now it did not matter.

If smoke and ash was coming out it was too late. The parasite had taken root. And it soon would have complete control of his actions. 

He had to warn his family.

Korvo ran to the console to make a recording. A warning.

His fingers, inches from the record button. His hands were shaking and it took everything to get his fingers to flex. The parasite did not want him to warn his family. It would make it easier for his family to help him. To escape the parasites wrath.

He would not let the parasite hurt them.

With a burst of determination his palm smacked the button down. More then enough to start the recording.

Korvo gripped the console as he spoke, trying everything to stay standing. he spoke in a grave, tired tone.

"Terry, replicates, I have core burn. I don't know how but the parasite is there. I can.. can feel it starting to take hold. I don't have much time to record this message. So i'll get right to it."

Korvo shuddered, taking a breath before continuing.

"I will try to destroy you all. Not by my own choice. It's the parasite that is in control, I promise you. So whatever you do, do not trust anything I say or do. Do not get near me if you can help it. And be careful for any tricks or traps. It will try to kill you any way it can."

Korvo paused a moment to gather courage for his next words. But only a moment. 

"And.. if yo-you can't save me.... end me. " he said.

He ended the recording with another burst of determination. And then all his energy spent on fighting the parasite, Korvo sunk down to the floor. There was no more fight left in him.

Korvo breathed deeply and hacked up some more ash. It felt warm on his lips. Close to painful but not quite there.

There was nothing Korvo could do now but sit and shake as the parasite continued to become stronger and stronger. To use him like a puppet.

Korvo could only hope for two out comes.

Either his family saved him, or that his core would burn him from the inside out before he could hurt any of them.