#yeah yeah it’s SO easy to talk shit on your high horse

[llulabeee]

Sometimes I forget that my old coworkers are raging conservatives, but then I see shit like them trashing on the students protesting the war and I’m brought right back to

[resident-gay-bitch]

🌚 Fem Fridays 🌚

Girls Play Quidditch Too (Marlene centric)

Marlene is sick and tired of this shit. Always second best to every man, boy, wanker, just because she’s a girl. 

Growing up at home with three older brothers was never easy. Everything’s always a competition, she’s always trying to prove herself, to be recognised as something wonderful just like them. 

Every time she does anything remotely cool, everyone always coos at her and suspects she’s just trying to be like her older brothers. And it’s not fair. Nothings fucking fair. Everything they do will always be better because they’re boys. Men always have a leg up in this stupid world, and Marlene thinks that’s utter cow-shit. 

Here she is, age thirteen, teeth bared, and hungry for blood. 

Quidditch try outs. 

Last year she didn’t make the team because her stupid fucking brother was captain and “didn’t think she has what it takes”. And he had the “evidence” to back that up, because he stuck her on goal keep. She was twelve and tiny and he stuck her on goal keep when she was trying out to be a beater, because he didn’t want his little sister on the team. She hates her stupid brother. 

But Nick isn’t on the team anymore, he’s finished school now, and the captain is just some random Gryffindor. She doesn’t really care where she gets put on the team, so long as she gets on it, even though she’d prefer beater. She’s nasty with that bat. 

All she has to do is beat one of the other beaters on the team and it’s all smooth sailing from there out. Her competition today is a second year named Thomas Yates who looks like he might shit his pants the next time someone talks too loud, that stupid wanker Sirius Black who keeps flirting with Mary, and Marcus; her fifteen year old brother. 

She can’t wait to take him down. 

Marlene looks around the pitch, assessing the team so far. A bunch of boys aren’t even taking this seriously, but they’re all already on the team, so she suspects that’s why. 

There’s one thing she notices though, one thing she doesn't like at all. 

She’s the only girl. 

“Are you lost?” Fredrick, the new captain, said, looking down at her over his clipboard. He’s very tall, and very skinny, and Marlene already doesn’t like him. He has a stupid mustache that he clearly can’t grow any thicker. 

“Nope.” She said, glaring at him. 

Fredrick laughed, “Sweetie, this isn’t makeup club.” 

Marlene smeared at him, “Obviously. I’m here to try for beater.”

“Beater?” Fredrick asked, and he, and all his mates behind him began to snicker and laugh, “Not worth it. You’ll never make the team, look at yourself, you’re tiny. Besides, we don’t want a stupid little girl on the team.”

“I’m not a stupid little girl, you wanker!” She spat, stomping down on his foot, making him cry out in pain before storming off over to the pack of younger boys. With her approach, they all went quiet. She glared at them all. 

With a quirk of her eyebrow and a stupid, smug smirk, Sirius spoke in his posh little accent, “McKinnon… trying out?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged, twisting her broom beside her, “I’m going for beater.”

Sirius laughed, “Ooh, against me and your brother?” He shook his head, “I reckon Yates’ got a better chance than you.”

“You sure about that, Black?”

Sirius shrugged, up on his high horse, “Well… yeah. Look at you.” 

“Willing to bet on it?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge. 

With a snicker, Sirius nodded, “Why not. If you make the team, I’ll give you ten galleons, if you don’t make it, you give me twenty.” 

What. A. Prick. 

“Deal.” Marlene said, sticking her hand out to shake. Sirius shook it, his hand so much bigger than her own. But that didn’t deter her, boys have such stupid ideals about what makes you good at things. They think they’re better beaters than her because they’re bigger, stronger, better simply because they’re men. But Marlene’s more agile, she’s ridiculously fast and her aim is near perfect already. She puts in the work, training whenever the pitch is free. She’s determined to prove herself. To prove them all wrong. 

They all take to the sky, broken up into teams of red versus yellow. Marlene’s playing red, saddled up beside Black, which is perfect. This way she can prove she’s better than him by hitting more bludgers, and she can go ham on her brother on the opposite team. She can’t wait to beat him, honestly. She can already feel the victory. 

Fredrick blew the whistle, sitting off to the side on his broom to watch and take notes. And Marlene thanks Mary for tying this great big red bow into her braid this morning, it’s sure to keep his attention. 

They were off, zipping around the pitch and playing. Marlene hit the bludger hard, managing to stop it from flying right into Potter's head and straight towards her brother. He barely dodged it in time. 

“Fuck!” He screeched, gripping onto his broom for dear life, looking at her all the way on the other side of the pitch. 

“Watch out, Marcus, bludgers are dangerous! Are you sure you’re equipped for this?”

“Bloody hell.” She heard Potter snicker from behind, “I reckon you’re out ten galleons, Sirius.”

“Shit.” 

Marlene laughed and was off again, diving for a bludger as it shot straight towards the seekers head.  

The game went on and Marlene played ruthlessly, sending bludger after bludger straight at her brother, keeping him on his toes. It only serves him right after all these years he’s spent picking on Marlene for being so small. And he always gets away with it, their mum just says “oh, boys will be boys, Marlene, it’s only in their nature.”. Sometimes she wants to stomp on her mum's foot too, but she knows she’ll get in big trouble if she does that. 

Black is pretty fast, and pretty strong, so his hits fly faster, are harder. But he doesn’t have her agility, and certainly not her aim. She reckons, out of all her options, Black would be the best teammate. Poor Thomas hasn’t gotten very involved at all, shies away from bludgers when they shoot his way, so Marlene knows he won’t make the team. Honestly, he’d probably prefer that outcome by the looks of things. 

Her brother, on the other hand, is playing pretty tough too. He’s clearly a little shocked by Marlene’s abilities and is determined to be better than her. Marlene is not a very cocky person, but she’s certain she’s doing better than her brother. She’s definitely getting on the team. 

Back on the ground, Potter was giving her shoulder a good jostle, keen to keep playing beside her. James is a very quidditch focused lad, she’s come to notice. It’s pretty much all he talks about, besides Lily Evans, so she knows he’s thinking strategically more than anything else. He wants her on the team because having her there will bump up their chances for a win. Marlene is pretty chuffed with that. 

Black seems to be dreading handing over his ten galleons. 

“Right, now the beaters.” Fredrick says, announcing who has, and hasn’t made the team this year, reading from his clipboard, “Black, you’re safe, McKinnon- Marcus, you’re safe… And welcome to the team Yates!”

Marlene’s smile dropped. 

“Right, that’s that. See all of you who made it at training tomorrow, the rest of you, see ya!”

She didn’t… No, no this can’t be right. There must be some mistake. She can’t have this, it’s…

She storms over to Fredrick, stopping him in his tracks, “Oi, what about me?”

“What about you?” He asked, glaring down at her. 

“I’m on the team, right?”

“Did you hear me call your name? Don’t think so, sorry. Better luck next time.”

Marlene is furious. “Why? Why aren’t I on the team?”

Fredrick looked around and leant down to whisper, “No one wants a stupid girl on their team, do they? Now fuck off.”

♢♤♡♧

Marlene practically busted down McGonagall's door with how aggressively she was knocking on it. Her fist slammed into the wood, over and over and over until the door swung open and she was met with the professor's scowl. “Miss McKinnon, what can I do for you that is so urgent that you feel the need to break down my door?”  

“They won’t let me on the team cause I’m a girl.”

“Now, that’s a rather heavy accusation to throw-“

“It’s true Miss.” Mary backed up, “We watched the whole thing.”

“Yeah, she was better than half those blokes!” Lily agreed. 

“It’s sexist.” Mary nodded. 

“Really misogynistic, Professor.”

“It’s fucking stupid.” Marlene added. 

“Miss McKinnon, watch your language.”

“It happened last year, my brother didn’t let me on the team. I told you how he set it all up and everything. But Fredrick didn’t get clever about this, I proved I was good. Ask anyone… except maybe my brother. Ask Yates!”

“Yeah, he made the team and he was proper useless.” Mary said.

“Miss McDonald.” McGonagall tutted before taking a heavy sigh, “Yes, well, there hasn’t been a female on the Gryffindor team in nearly twelve years. I’m not surprised to say the least, however Fredrick is the captain and has the overall say. Unless there is evidence that he has malicious intent I can not intervene.” 

“But Miss!”

“Now, now, Marlene. I’m sorry, but I really cannot get involved, I haven’t the jurisdiction. I can’t tell you that all you’ll need to fight this would be a simple petition signed by majority of the team requesting your recruitment. I’m simply not allowed to get involved.” She said with a little smile, “Now, I have essays to mark, good day, Marlene.” She said and shut the door. 

“Brilliant!” Marlene grinned, and the girls set off on their mission. 

Mary drew up the petition, used nice colours and everything. Real proper looking, and everything. They headed straight for the Great Hall, since it was lunchtime now and the quidditch players surely would be eating their fill. Marlene was quite hungry herself after all that, but she had priorities. 

Her first stop was Potter and Black. 

“Oi, McKinnon, shit luck.” Sirius grinned. 

“Hey, leave it. She did good, I think it’s bollocks you didn’t make the team.” Potter said.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Black nodded, “Honestly, I’m willing to call off the bet, you should have made it.”

“If you really think so,” Marlene grinned, slamming the petition down between them, “Sign this. I swear I’ll keep the bludgers as far away from you as possible, Potter, secure your path straight to the goals.” 

“What’s this?” He asked, peering over the page.

“A petition to get me on the team. Imagine it, Black, we played so well together. I’m better than my stupid brother and you know it.”

“A lot faster, that’s for sure.” Sirius nodded.

“It’d be nice to have a girl on the team, new perspective and all.” James shrugged, “Plus, we’re the only team without one, we’d be able to even out the competition, it’s not really fair, otherwise. Girls are a lot smarter than us, no wonder we never win.”

“No, we never win because you’re always trying to show off.” Sirius retorted with a snicker. 

“Just sign it, will you?” Marlene sighed. 

James shrugged, taking the quill to write his name, ”How many do you need?”

“Most of the team.” She said, "A few of you will be easy, it’s the older ones I’ll have a problem with.”

“I reckon Yates will sign it, easy.” Sirius said, taking the quill from James to sign it himself, “I don’t think he actually wanted to make the team, he was just trying out because his dads crazy about quidditch.” 

“The older ones will be harder to persuade, they’re all friends with your brother and he chats a lot of shit about you, I mean, some of the stuff he said after practice today was really rude-“

“Shut up, James.” Sirius hissed, “Don’t hurt her feelings.”

Marlene rolled her eyes, “Oh, ease up, I know he hates me because I’m better than him. He’s so insecure.” 

“Sorry.” James winced. 

“Maybe you could help?” Mary suggested, and Marlene was about to butt in and shut her up, she’s capable of doing this herself. She wants to do this herself. Mary lent down, right into Sirius’ space and locked eyes with him, “Come on, Black, help her out. Get the other blokes to sign it and let her on the team, and if she makes it, I’ll give you a snog.”

“Mary!” Lily gasped.

“Oh, it’s just one snog, no big deal.“ Mary grinned. “I’ll probably give him one eventually anyway.”

Maybe their help wouldn’t be the worst, Marlene thought. Boys did tend to listen to boys more, and if she gets on the team, she can prove to them that she’s totally worth it. That girls are worth it. Maybe, if she makes the team, other girls will want to join too. That would be pretty cool, Marlene thinks. 

“Yeah, come on, I heard you talking about your dumb snogging competition today, you’ll win.” Marlene said. 

Sirius was quick to agree, “Absolutely, I’m in!”

“No!” James gasped, “Lily, snog me, it’s an emergency!”

“Absolutely not.” Lily shook her head, “But it would be cool of you if you helped. It would be so nice of you…” She said, strategically curling her hair around a finger. 

James went bright red, nodding his head, “Y-yeah, absolutely. Yes, I’m- of course. I just wanna help Marlene, you know, she deserves a spot on the team, I totally agree. Definitely.” He said, trying to act all heroic and nonchalant. 

Marlene rolled her eyes. Honestly, boys are so daft. 

“Wow, that’s so cool of you, James.” Lily continued.

“Yeah…” James replied, shrugging, clearly trying to hide how bashful he was, “That’s me, you know? Cool, I’m cool. So cool, just… cool and-“

“I think they get it, James.” Sirius said, monotonous, “Wanna tell them how cool you are again, cool boy?”

“Shove off.” James mumbled, a little embarrassed. 

“Go on.” Mary said, literally shooing them away, “You have things to do. Go do them.” 

James and Sirius scrambled to do as they were told, both eager to impress the girls and inflate their egos a little more. Marlene will never underhand boys, she thinks. They’re all so dimwitted and girl crazy. 

Over the rest of the afternoon, Marlene managed to rack up enough signatures, thanks to the help of James and Sirius convincing a handful of the older boys to sign. Merlin knows how they managed that, but Marlene suspects foul play, James and Sirius are known to get up to no good. 

This doesn’t bother Marlene though, she’s just chaffed she’s got enough signatures. Mary, Lily and herself managed to nab the majority of them, wandering the castle and hunting down the younger, nicer, more alone and easier to intimidate Gryffindor players, so she’s rather proud she's done most of it herself. She did think it was very smart of Mary and Lily to use the boys' crushes on them to their advantage. Marlene wonders how easy it would be to make boys do anything if you promised them a snog or something. Though, Marlene doesn’t think she’ll ever put that to the test. Even if some boy finds himself attracted to her, rather than repulsed by how boyish she is, she would never promise them a snog. 

She really doesn’t understand Mary’s desire to put her mouth anywhere near one of those things. Marlene suspects it’s because she doesn’t have any brothers. 

The three of them marched their way back to McGonagall's office, declaring the petition with a wide grin. Fixing the little specs on her face, Minerva reads it over before giving Marlene a rather proud smile. 

“Give me one moment, girls.” She says before shutting the door in their faces. 

They wait in anticipation, Marlene’s nerves radiating off her like some nuclear fuse, spreading onto Mary and Lily, who are now buzzing with anxieties of their own. When their Professor steps back out, she requests Marlene’s follow behind, so the three of them race right after her. They approach Fredrick in the courtyard, and Marlene puffs out her chest proudly. 

“Mr. Fredrick,” McGonagall says, handing the petition over to him, “If you have any further issues, you may take them up privately with me, in my office. If you have such a severe issue with Miss McKinnon here being on the team, perhaps we should have a chat about finding a new captain for the season. You know where to find me, good day.” She said, and off she went. 

Marcus snatched the petition from Fredrick, snarling down at his little sister. 

Proudly, Marlene stuck her hands on her hips and grinned, “What’s the problem, Marc? Are you and your mates here intimidated by a little girl?” And with that, she turned to walk away, “See you at practice tomorrow.”

Marlene felt pretty fucking good when one year later, five whole girls came to try out for the team. She couldn’t wait to make captain one day, that’ll really show them. 

[albertserra]

"thrifting my car" yeah buying used cars, esp older ones, makes it way easier to do repairs without having to interact with a dealer.

"mending my computer" prioritizing repairability in a computer is also huge. I have a 12yo laptop that I've been repairing and I can still run games on decent settings. in a few more years if it finally dies for real I'm getting a framework which is almost indefinitely repairable

1) I don’t have a car so this isn’t an issue for me. My sister’s twice handed down car finally gave out recently and she isn’t a fucking mechanic nor does she have the spare time to be able to dedicate time to learn to fix it and the dealer said they aren’t making the parts she needs anymore. Get off your high horse

2) I literally own a framework laptop for the exact reason of right to repair and upgradability. They don’t have the kind of market share to be huge on the used market so if you don’t have the initial funds to buy one outright you’re probably shit out of luck and left with the used macs and windows laptops that simply aren’t built to last

3) I don’t need a wii or a sewing machine

You’re inventing someone to be mad at. I never said workarounds aren’t possible but that doesn’t mean they’re accessible (time or money or knowledge wise) or easy to pick up and start doing. Hating the trends in place (planned obsolescence) is what drives me to find these workarounds but why can’t I talk about how evil those systems are in the first place? Lmao

[shindeyukichan]

FUNNY ASS THING HAPPENED TO ME

so the other day i friended someone on smit bc we talked after a match was done and i was being encouraging about their gameplay on a god they were learning and they were like you're so nice :) do you wanna play more and so we friended each other and hopped in a party yk regular stuff

TODAY, i hop on smite and get an invite again alright cool we play our game

they start complaining about the jungler who is "selling their lane" and being bad and fucking them over or whatever, alright sure

and then they start doing like. TEXTBOOX TOXICITY right. like doing the keyboard commands "You Rock! Cancel That!", spam pinging her on the map, just some real obnoxious shit, and then to another teammate too like "zzz" and shit, getting in arguments with them. and clearly looking to me for sympathy or whatever

and im just like silent for most of it like. you approached me saying i was nice and now its like what. you only want me to be nice to you? yeah no. if youre being a dick im not gonna condone it idc

so at some point after i like, basically turn a fight from a loss to a tie by myself and die im like OH MY GOD SHUT UP YOU GUYS STOP ARGUING AND PLAY THE GAME ITS NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING in all caps

which, actually does work. they stop arguing (though my friend still like throws out some jabs a bit until suspiciously due to my character being a late game one and coming online we start winning the game...) and then we fight together and we win and its good and yeah

and after the game its like. my party member comes to me like obvs still lookin for sympathy and kinda peeved that i scolded them (seemingly forgetting i was scolding the other people who were arguing too) meanwhile ive just typed out like i know you were mad and stuff but it's kind of toxic of you to spam sm1 like that for being bad

and THEN we get into a whole thing about that because theyre like so offended by this like "but she was selling my lane" and "its easy to get on your high horse and say dont be toxic when youre not the one having your lane sold" and "i think you need perspective" and "if anything you were being kind of toxic because you used all caps and told us to shut up, using all caps is kind of toxic" and "youre gaslighting me" (i said smth like, youre joking with me. youre yanking my chain and apparently thinking im being trolled and asking to confirm that is gaslighting now. i mean thats a trolly thing to say right i was like genuinely in disbelief that these were real reactions and i still kind of have doubts tbh)

so anyway im not willing to put anymore time into talking to someone who cannot own up to doing something obnoxious and slightly shitty in any regard so im like good luck with your meeting, bye and then i block them on both the accs they friended me on

its not over yet bc i forget they got my discord too so itd be easier to talk n stuff and theyve sent:

I LOVE IT WHEN THIS STUFF HAPPENS TO MEEE ITS SO FUNNY ITS SO FUNNY I GENUINELY LOVE IT SO MUCH MY FUCKING TRICKSTERS GAMBIT GOES INSANE

[themurderofcrowscollective]

Because I'm a bit angry right now, I'm going to rant. Sorry in advance, but not sorry towards the fuckers who deserve this. As far as you can tell, I got heated in a reblog post of this one fucker who said something along the lines of 'If you can't handle criticism, don't write fanfiction' and to this particular cocksucking motherfucker, fuck you. I don't know if yall have noticed but every fandom has their toxic folks who love to ruin the fun for everyone else because they think their opinion matters above all else and should be treated as such. Wanna know my dead-honest opinion on that? Every motherfucker who thinks they're important because they have a following of people who think just like them and firmly believe that everything should be criticized should be kicked in the stomach by a horse. It's like none of these assholes have learned from the past mistakes of other morons like them, and what am I talking about? The constant 'criticism' that has lead many people into deep depression, suicide, and death. In this day and age there's no happiness to be seen because everyone focuses on the bad shit and criticizes everything that is the direct opposite of the doom and gloom, expecting everyone to be angry or gloomy just like them. Don't start bringing that into fandoms, period. I swear I'll start throwing hands so easily like the way you guys believe it's so easy to criticize and too hard to be nice. 'bUt YoU'rE tHe OnE bEiNg AnGrY' YEAH I HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO BE ANGRY IF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY EASILY WITH CRITICIZING OTHERS' HAPPINESS. MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE YOU STOPPED US FROM WRITING FANFICS, FROM SHARING ART AND SHARING A PIECE OF HAPPINESS WITH OTHERS. I swear on my fucking life I will defend others who were just like me, like us, by saying this now. Your opinions do not matter on someone's hard work that brings them happiness, and it never will be as groundbreaking or as important as you think it is so get the fuck off your high horse and get your head out of your ass. I swear you fucking dickheads need to get humbled first before spreading your 'opinions' on the internet like you're the son of god.

[beef-brisket]

Adam groaned as he tried to reposition himself. The cage floor was about as comfortable as he remembered.

The room was eerily silent. Only Adam's breathing could be heard. His body still ached from the blood, letting Seth do to him. Thankfully, his chest was mostly fine.

He wasn't sure how long he had been here. It felt like weeks, but each passing second, Adam missed Lucifer more and more.

At least with him ruling Hell, Adam shouldn't be able to do anything that'll put him in danger.

Adam: Or ruin his life... I'm such a fucking idiot... s-should of let him kill me in that basement...

Michael: Already with the self-pity? Oh, Adam. You haven't even been here for a day yet! Though, it is fun watching you struggle~.

Adam jumped when Michael started talking. He looked out into the room but couldn't see anything. The darkness was too thick.

Michael: I, for one, am glad you're still alive. After thousands and thousands of years of watching you abuse your power, I finally get to see you at your weakest, your most pathetic. Which was a very low bar for you to reach, by the way. You could have benefited Heaven, Adam. If only you didn't get on your high horse when that offer was made to you.

Adam groaned as his shoulders started cramping: I-I'd never would have said yes to you-.

Michael laughed: And there's that pride again. Even when you're nothing but a useless ape, you still think you're better than us. Do you know my official title, Adam?

Adam: I don't give a fuck.

Michael: I am the Right Hand and Sword of God. The Greatest Enemy of Hell. I protect Heaven from all dangers, and that would usually include you, but look at you. Captured by Satan of all demons and humiliated by a sinner. Ha! Even my father couldn't write something so hilarious!

Adam: ...The fuck do you want with me?

Michael: Hm. Good question. Retribution. Have fun, Adam. I will return shortly~.

Adam squinted as a bright light filled the room. It was only for a few seconds, but it was strong enough to blind him long after the light had died out.

The cell's door creaked open, but by the time Adam registered it, there was a hard kick to his face.

Adam: F-Fuck...

Raphael: Easy, you almost broke his jaw.

Cas: Like I give a shit.

Raphael rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. A chair appeared in the far corner of the cell. Sitting down, Raphael smiled at Adam.

Raphael: Don't mind me, I'm here to heal you. Wouldn't want you dying yet, would we?

Adam heart clenched. He never thought he'd be terrified of Heaven's healer. But here he was.

Cas: That would really ruin the fun, but-.

Adam gasped as the angel grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back.

Cas: It would be a sight to watch your corpse he paraded around the streets of Heaven~. Who knows, maybe we'll do that while you're still kicking.

Raphael: Please do, we don't need the smell of death polluting the streets again.

Cas rolled their eyes and dropped Adam, unfolding his wings. They made sure to stand where Adam could see them.

Cas: Do you know how many angels you've killed? The destruction you've caused? With that fucking axe of yours?!

Raphael: Language~.

Cas: Seriously? I'm about to torture a dude.

Raphael: Hm. Fair enough, continue.

Adam: Y-You captured me- locked me away- I wanted to fucking leave.

Cas was silent for a moment before looking at Raphael: Oh, so he can swear, but I can't?

Raphael: He's Adam. Who cares about him?

Cas rolled their eyes. Adam winced as they snapped their fingers, and an axe appeared in their hands.

Cas: Oooh FUCK yeah-! Such my ass, Raph, I. Swearing while I do this. Recognise it, Addy~?

Adam jumped as the axe slammed into the floor next to his head.

Cas: I can see why you liked this thing so much! How many have you killed with it? How many have you ruined? But you don't need an axe to do that, do you?

Cas knelt down in front of Adam's face and leant against the axe that was buried into the floor.

Cas: You're the worst of us, you know that? Worse than every sinner in Hell, worse than the commander of our army. I'm honestly surprised you didn't turn this thing on yourself!

Raphael: Oh, now that would have been funny! Hunting you for so long, only to find you with your axe embedded in your chest!

Cas: Exactly what was thinking!

Adam stayed silent as Cas grabbed the axe and pulled it from the floor. He could hear the angel walking around the cage. What Adam didn't expect was a sickening pain shooting through his arm and back.

His ears were ringing, and warmth flooded through him in the worst way. He's not a stranger to pain, but dealing with his weakened state and his body trying and begging to run from the pain was something horribly new.

Adam could hear the angels talking and was that laughter?

His whole body lurched, his muscles tensed, trying to fight for an escape. His mouth watered, drool mixed with tears he didn't know he was shedding.

Cas: Don't heal him, not yet.

As his eyes slowly started to focus, he weakly watched Cas kneel in front of him, but something else was in his hand other than his axe.

Cas: Look, bud! You're waving!

Adam would feel sick, but it felt like his whole body froze as Cas smiled and waved a disjointed arm in front of him. It looked so familiar but foreign at the same time.

He flexed his fingers, and he felt sick all over again. Only his right hand responded.

Cas: Hm, we don't want him running again, do we Raph?

Raphael chuckled: It was a real waste of resources, not to mention angels. We could all tell how much you loved killing them, Adam. It was... despicable. No, Cas. We don't want him running again.

Cas grinned and dropped Adam's arm. The bloody limb landed in front of his eyes. Adam wanted to watch Cas, but he couldn't. His ears throbed as the sound of his axe dragged along the cell floor released a piercing noise. He could only focus on the arm.

Over the next hour, Cas removed Adam's legs, taking at least three hits to cut through his femur. He doesn't know if it was mercy, but he left him with one arm. Maybe it was more of a joke than anything.

Even as his whole body was feeling nothing but blinding pain, Cas continued to insult him. Reading a letter from the new Devil that sounded so much like Lucifer. Demanding his death and his head as repayment for a life of hiding and fear Adam had forced him in to.

At first, he thought it was fake. He wished it was fake. But Raphael was turning a black ring around in his fingers. Adam recognized it immediately. It was Lucifer's ring.

Even now, he hopes it is a trick. A trick that made him cry till he had no tears left.

He didn't acknowledge any angel that came in. Only Raphael was a constant presence. He healed his wounds but only to the point where he stopped bleeding. And he only started to heal him when Adam was starting to lose consciousness.

Adam wasn't sure how much time had passed. All he knew was that his skin and the cage floor were soaked in his golden blood. His had long gone hard and cold, drying and clumping together on his skin. The feeling only added to his frustration.

He heard another voice enter the room, but he couldn't focus on it, even if he tried. But he did recognise it.

Michael.

Maybe he was he was here to end him. It would be mercy at this point. He couldn't beg Lucifer for pity, not after everything he's done to him, not after those letters. And the ring Raphael didn't even have the courtesy to show him.

He was speaking to someone, though Adam couldn't completely focus on what he was saying.

Michael: He was meant to be an angel... oh, please, he's a fool. He wasn't even meant to be created. It was only by accident that his soul went to earth... I don't care what he is now or what realm he's ruling. He's nothing... powerful, yes. He nearly gained his true form when he had this fool raided Heaven thirty plus years ago... True. Now leave me, I have a guest to see to~.

Was he talking about Lucifer? He had to be. He was the new Devil, so it would make sense. And if what Cas read was true, Lucifer wasn't communicating about him, which stung.

Michael: My my. Look at you. Looking a bit light, aren't you~?

Adam couldn't respond, only being reminded of the situation again.

Michael: Raphael. Leave.

Raphael looked hesitant, but he walked out without saying another word.

Adam screamed as Michael kicked him, pushing him onto his back, and his missing arm and the deep cut into his back.

Michael: I know about you, Adam. About your little... affliction. And, now that you're officially divorced-.

It happened so quickly, and the next thing he knew, his wedding ring was pulled off his finger and thrown somewhere in the cell.

Michael: You're free to fuck around~. Well, not that you have a choice. This is what you were made for.

Adam wanted to kick Michael away as he pulled off his pants off.

Michael: You must be begging for it at this point! And you're lucky I'm so merciful~. It's not often someone gets an archangels cock~.

He wanted to beg for Lucifer, but he's doing better without him. He won't be able to hurt Lucifer from here.

He deserved the worst of whatever Heaven did to him.

I miss our God!Adam Au

Sequel 👀

In Canada Eh! Lmao

CANADA FOREVER

Yes plsss! I miss our stupid, power-hungry boy 😫😫

[sgt-morgan]

Of Cowboys and Daisies🐎

Summary: Jack is assigned to watch over a mother and her adorable little girl. As they get closer and closer to taking care of their problem, Jack worries he won’t be able to let go.

Warnings: AFAB! Female identifying reader, talks of cannon typical violence, death of a spouse x2, really a fluff piece.

A/N: I wrote this because I have that stupid Tik tok edit song stuck in my noodle.

Masterlist

Follow up fic

Agent Whiskey wasn’t sure he was going to survive this arrangement. Champ said it was temporary, but his idea of temporary passed about two months ago. It was a fairly simple assignment, and with everything that’s happened, an easy assignment is a lot kinder than getting kicked off the team. So he took the job, even though the rapidly approaching end of it made him want to drink until he couldn’t see straight.

“It’s a simple protection detail.” Champ had shrugged, pulling the file out of his desk and smacking it down in front of him with a sigh. “She’s a youngin’, at least to me anyway. She’s CIA, talented too, once her life is out of the red zone, I’ll probably recruit her. Sharp as a tack, quick as a whip, and she’s got the mouth of a sailor, she’s right up your alley.” Jack studies the files with interest, running a curious finger over the picture of you that was attached to the file. You were a looker for sure, he listened to champ go on, reading over your impressive and extensive file, until he ran across a bit of information that shocked him half to death.

“She’s got a baby?” He huffed, incredulous.

“Yeah, little girl, her names Daisy May, she’s three. She’s sweeter than a peach, got Tequila and Ginger wrapped around her little finger already, and Momma is just as bad.” Champ chuckled, pouring them both a glass of Statesman’s finest while Jack stared at him intent on hearing every detail Champ was willing to offer. “Her late husband was a SEAL. Top ranking, special ops, very high up on the food chain. One day she goes out to grab dinner with the baby, comes back and he’s dead with a note pinned to his chest with her cover details written all over it. Tried to deal with it on her own, then after about two months she pulls the bottle her daddy- former agent Brandy god rest his soul- left her and called us up asking us to make her disappear. So we called our buddies at the CIA, got her cleared, and we’re doing it. She’s our-specifically your- problem until we can take out whoever blew her cover.”

Jack stared at the amber liquid in his glass and thought long and hard about that one. It’s a dark story, indicative of his own. “Where are we keeping her?” He sighs, swirling the liquid once more before shooting it.

“Well son, that’s up to you. If you wanna do a safe house, that’s fine. We can radio y’all in and use satellite to do the rest, or you can use the ranch. Familiar territory for you, plenty of security, and it means we can all look after her and the little one when necessary.” Champ sighs when Jack slides his glass back over to him.

“Where abouts they from?” Jack questions, “They gonna be ok living in a ranch or am I working with city slickers?”

“Oh no, She’s originally from Prestonsburg, she’s Floyd county born and raised. They were living in Texas though. Her husband was a Texan, moved to Austin to be closer to family and all that. She ain’t got anybody but an Aunt back home, but she’s an Eastern Kentucky girl. She grew up riding horses.” Jack’s eyebrows shot up to the brim of his hat at Champs little interlude.

“Well Shoot Champ, you really shot the shit with her huh?” He laughs.

“Her daddy was a friend, and she’s just like him. She’s a good girl, you’ll like her.” Champ nodded him to the door, and Jack took the dismissal in stride. Champ had high hopes, and Jack just hoped he was right.

Reflecting on it now, it’s laughable how skeptical he was. You were a picture of perfection. When he first met you, he knew, and Daisy put the bow on top of the package.

Funnily enough his horse introduced you, Tequila and Ginger were walking you around the distillery grounds, and had stopped to let you show Daisy the horses. He found you standing outside of a stall, specifically the stall of his horse, Coke. Coke is an Appaloosa with a blanket with spots. He’s not normally friendly with newcomers, having a stubborn streak a mile wide, but Jack was shocked to see you stood in front of the Horse’s stall with no issue. You had the baby propped on one hip, with her head on your shoulder and a thumb in her mouth, and Coke’s muzzle resting on the other. You were casually talking to Ginger while Tequila stared on shocked as you fondly stroked the horse’s muzzle. Normally, everyone knew not to turn their back on his horse, unless of course you were him. Coke was known to be a jester, and liked to nip at your hair or push you around with his muzzle, but there he stood, cozying up to a woman he just met today. He stood back and kept watching, seeing what the horse was up to. He heard the horse nicker and huff, moving his head to push towards the baby and you laughed, letting the curious animal nuzzle at the girl.

“Yeah big boy,” you patted his crest as he moved his head off your shoulder to let the baby stroke his muzzle, “yeah- gentle Daisy May, be nice- yeah big boy, that’s my Daisy, you like her? Yeah, that’s the baby, are you a good boy? hmm?” You talked to the horse and he watched as you pulled a sugar cube from the shelf next to the stall and let the girl feed it to Coke. The big horse oh-so-gently took the cube from the girl, tickling her palm and she giggled. The horse huffed through his nose and threw his head a bit and you laughed. “Oh ho ho! Well, you liked that huh? I’d give yah another big boy but I don’t know if your rider would take too kindly to me fattening up such a pretty stallion, bet you make all those pretty broodmares happy huh? Yeah.” You laugh as he whinnies.

“Well, He took a liking to you quick.” Jack called, making himself known and getting closer to the stall. “Ol’ Coke here is usually a temperamental fella.”

“Who, this guy?” You smirk as the horse huffs again at Daisy’s hair making her giggle. “Why no, he’s a sweet fella. Ain’t yah big boy?” The horse bobs his head as if nodding in agreement and Jack chuckles.

“Don’t let him fool yah,” Tequila grumbled, eyeing the horse warily, “That menace picks on anybody that ain’t him.” He pointed at Jack with a glare and Jack chuckled.

“Now don’t be bitter sunshine, you’re just mad that he pushed you into the water trough last summer.” Jack grinned at you with a wink and you laughed. Then the girl on your hip tugged at your hair a bit and whispered in your ear. Like most children though, Daisy was not a good whisperer.

“Mama, wook, Cowboy.” She mumbled around her thumb, pointing to Jack’s Stetson. Oh how his heart melted, he knew he was a goner then and there.

“Oh man,” you gasped, “you’re right! I bet this is his horsey.” You nodded and the girls eyes twinkled with wonder.

“Horsey pwetty.” She nodded sagely, “Ask him mumma, wanna ride him.” She had the biggest eyes, her tiny curls were barely contained by the pigtails her hair was in. She was a pretty little baby, and a carbon copy of her momma, dressed in little denim overalls and a pretty flowered shirt. She was cute, almost too cute, he didn’t know how he’d survive the next month or so with those big eyes pleading with him to give her anything she wanted, he knew he would be too weak to say no, he has a hard time picturing anyone saying no to her, not even her momma. Speaking of the mom, she was beautiful. She had on a beat up Vietnam tiger stripe jungle fatigue with a patch reading ‘Brandy’ rolled up to the elbows. Her T-shirt read ‘Kentucky Strong’ and he recognized it as one of those charity shirts that raised money for the flooding in Eastern Kentucky. She had aviators perched on her nose and two dog tags around her neck, one that was clearly older than the other, one for dad one for her husband if he had to guess. The best thing about the outfit though, was the shorts, those beautiful legs on full display, so good looking he had to pry his eyes off of her with the strength of ten men.

Jack jumped in all at once, “Am I a cowboy sweet baby? What gave me away? Was it the belt buckle?” He playfully tugged on it and gave an exaggerated frown, the girl giggled a no, and he pointed to his boots. “Oh, must’a been my boots!” He kicked up a heel to show off the worn brown leather boots. The girl squealed and laughed again, and you watched delighted that your baby was having so much fun.

“No!” Daisy laughed again clutching her hands together while she giggled. “No it was the hat!”

“Oh! Why silly me!” He breathed a fake sigh of relief, “I forgot it was up there sugar! Can’t be a cowboy without the hat!” The little girl laughed again in delight and he grinned back. Tequila and Ginger stared on shocked, Whiskey hadn’t been this carefree in a while, this little girl was working miracles. “Oh but I’ve gone and forgotten my manners,” Jack smacks his forehead dramatically “I never got your name Little lady! My name is Jack, what yours?” He extended a hand to the girl and she beamed, tucking her tiny hand in his.

“I’m Daisy!” She grinned, shaking his hand.

“Well, ain’t that just first class, you’re as pretty as a flower, so you must be Daisy!” He grinned at the delighted little girl, then whispered to her conspiratorially, “And who’s this?” He pointed at you and Daisy nodded, her mouth an ‘o’.

She introduced you and Jack smiled, tiling his hat to you, “Pretty name for a pretty lady, I’m Jack Daniel’s, code name Whiskey ma’am, pleased to make your acquaintance, and this here’s Coke.” He patted the horse’s flank as he stepped closer to you.

Your smile was just as magnetic as your daughter’s, and Jack felt his knees buckle, “Pleased to meet you Whiskey, Jack and Coke is my favorite combo, so I got high hopes this’ll be a good arrangement.”

And it was, y’all got on like a house on fire, and now he was very used to having you in his home. He hadn’t invited anyone into his space like this since his wife died. He couldn’t find the appeal in it, but there was something about you and this little girl he couldn’t seem to shake.

You were more than willing to tackle any task, and it was one of the things that he enjoyed most about you. In the months you had been there you helped around the Ranch any way you could. Jack had gotten used to doing the chores on his own, but he was suprised by how easily you worked yourself into his routine. It wasn’t a big Ranch, it was near the distillery in Oldham county, right smack in the middle between Louisville and La Grange. The ranch hosted his three horses, six chickens, two barn cats, and about 10 or so cows. In the mornings, you were up just as early as him, you alternated putting on the coffee, then he would deal with the horses (Coke, Julep, and Sazerac. You got a big kick out of their names, and he loved how you chuckled anytime he mentioned them.) and the cows, and you fed the chickens and the barn cats (Tom and Jerry, all the whiskey themed names). When you finished gathering eggs and greeting the cats, he would come back to you bouncing the baby on your hip while cooking breakfast.

“Well, you feed my animals and make my eggs, aren’t you handier than a pocket on a shirt.” He grinned one morning and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle.

“Well Cowboy, someone’s gotta feed you, black coffee and a Marlboro red aren’t breakfast, and they never will be.”

You were also a brilliant agent. Once you were settled, you and Jack started digging into anything you could find about the people who killed your husband, and you proved yourself an invaluable asset in intel gathering. You dug up more in a single hour than some men hoped to find in a lifetime, but it took its toll on you for sure. Day in day out combing over your husband’s files and trappings, staring at the inner mechanisms of his whole life and wonder what it would be like if he was here to finish all of his loose ends. He understood, and he hated that he couldn’t just take the pain for you, but it was a comfort to the both of you to have someone to talk to.

“Oh, the first week after his funeral was hell,” you sighed, playing with your daughters curls as she slept peacefully on your lap in the evening sun, “I kept trying to call him, to vent with him about how scared and tired I was, only to be reminded this wasn’t a deployment or a buissness trip, he was just… gone. Daisy was a mess too, cried for him every night, wouldn’t sleep until I showed her this video of him saying he loved her that he made her when he went on deployment. It broke my heart.” You sniffled and Jack felt his heart ache with sympathy.

“I know all about that hurt,” he sighed, handing you a beer and settling next to you on the big wrap around porch, “I’d keep rolling over and reaching for her in the middle of the night, I’d touch the cold sheets and I’d remember and it would hurt me every time.”

“Oh god yeah, took me weeks before I could truly sleep on my own again, I used to put one of his shirts on his pillow and sleep with it, it was the only way I could get myself to bed.” You sighed, nodding and sipping the drink.

“I used to spray her perfume on her pillow,” Jack nodded, “When I ran out I forced myself to sleep without it, It was months before I could get a full nights rest again.”

“I couldn’t imagine having to deal with all that alone,” you grimaced, “I at least had Daisy, I hate that you’re alone.”

“Well, I was alone, but I’m not anymore, I got you.” He slung an arm around your shoulder and you basked in the sun together until Jack felt you go lax in his grip. You had fallen asleep in his grasp, and he was shocked at how good it felt to have you be so vulnerable around him. It melted something in his chest. What was he gonna do with you.

You and Daisy just kept growing on him. His life was no longer just solitude and shoot outs, now it was a little more tea parties and tag and it was a very welcome change. You both had him wrapped around your fingers, every moment he wasn’t spending working on the project with you, or with Ginger and Tequila at Statesman, he was with you and your little girl.

One evening you were playing a game of tag, when Daisy just about caused them both a heart attack. You were running around and chasing each other in the small creek out the back of the ranch. Daisy was a doll in her little floral one piece, her wet hair plastered to her forehead and her little feet splashing away. You were a sight too, a black bathing suit with a cut out under your breasts showing off an ornamental tattoo that he really just wanted to-

“Come on Dada, catch me!” Time froze when the little girl said it and your jaws dropped, when you finally met each others gaze, you snapped out of it and turned to your daughter.

“No sweetie, that’s-“ you tried but the little girl cut you off.

“I know mumma. It’s otay though, Dada is no here, so this is my OTHER dada. It’s otay to have two dada.” She smiled and meandered to Jack, squeezing him in a hug. The little girl was barely knee high to a grass hopper, but she had hit him with that bombshell so hard she might as well have been a giant. Then, she just toddled off, finding interest in the stream once more, gathering rocks.

“Darlin I’m so sor-“ he began and you waved it away.

“Don’t worry Jack, she’s three. She adores you, and her only other frame of reference for a consistent male presence is her dad. Besides, if she had to pick another father figure, I’d want it to be you.” With that, you went to go stop her from tormenting a frog, and he stood there like a statue. The way you so casually said that amazed him, you put so much unwarranted faith in him, and it made the hardened cowboy turn to mush. Whatever this turns out to be though, one thing is for sure. He would do anything in the world for you and that little girl, and this just drove it home.

Weeks passed and you all just continued to get closer. Daisy asked for him as often as she did for you now when she’s upset, and he was now totally attached to their evening ritual of snuggling on the couch and watching Bluey. Every day you got closer and closer, and every day you found out more and more about your husbands killer, which ultimately led you to today.

Jack had left early, sun not even being up and the morning dew had just barely settled over the grass. Jack had gotten the mission from Ginger last night, and you had prepped and planned with him until he swore the plans were tattooed on the back of his eyelids.

It was over quick, he took them out and got his necessary intel and now you were safe. No blown cover, no second attempt at murder, just efficiency.

You’re free. You could go anywhere you want and you’d be safe. Where would you go? Your aunt was in Pburg, not too far off, a couple of tolerable hours away. Your late husband’s family though… they were in Texas, and that was more of a stretch.

This was miserable, thinking of all the ways you would leave him, though you weren’t even his to begin with. You were never his, you were just his charge, someone he was meant to protect, you and that perfect little girl. He got so caught up in it, he forgot to protect himself, and now he was faced with an old companion he never wanted to see again, loneliness.

He finally pulled up to the ranch, and Coke and the others were grazing in the first paddock near the front of the house, until the clever horse sees him and trots over with something in his teeth. It was a little stuffed rabbit, Coke had it by the ear and dropped it in his outstretched palm. It was like another painful reminder of what comes next. What would he do when his life was no longer bows and bunny rabbits. How would he go back to the way things were before. He sighed and made his way into the house, he was somewhat confused to see the front room totally empty. Normally, you’d be feeding the baby at this time, she would be sat in in the booster seat he’d bought for the kitchen table, in the little pink bib she always wore, probably making a mess, but then she’s squeal and wave at him and tell him to ‘come sit cowboy! I share!’ You’d laugh and tell her he had his own to eat, and she would frown and say ‘mine better!’ Today though, the kitchen was quiet and he felt his heart hammering in his chest, had you already gone? Were you so excited to be rid of him? But no, there was the sound of a shower, his shower specifically. He wandered into his room, and the sight there strengthened his resolve and told him that he needed to buck up and tell you how he feels, because he never wanted to sacrifice this.

Daisy was laying on his pillow, the stuffed horse toy that was an exact replica of Coke was tucked up under her chin, and she contentedly snored away on top of his quilt. The only light in the room was from the lamp on his bedside table, and a sliver leaking out from the cracked door to his bathroom. He carefully tucked the little girls blank is up over her chin, and listened to you humming from the shower. He was used to sharing his bathroom with you, normally you used the one near your room, but when you needed to shower and Daisy was napping, you preferred to use his so you could hear her if she cried. The warm smell of your shampoo was wafting from the bathroom, and your clothes were laid out on his bed. He ran a hand over them with a soft smile, the whole thing just felt so domestic. The sleeping child, the woman in his shower, the three sets of boots by his door, the pictures on his fridge. They all just felt so natural, filling his empty space with the feeling of home.

“Jack? Cowboy? Is that you?” You called from the bathroom.

“Yeah Sugar, it’s me.” He called back softly, padding his way into the bathroom and leaning up against the sink.

“How’d it go Whiskey? Did all go to plan?” He heard the hopefulness in your voice.

“Yeah sweetness, we did it. You’re free.” He could hear you pause at the melancholy in his voice and he was kicking himself. ‘Don’t ruin this for her Jacky, she should be happy.’ He heard the water kick off and handed you your Terry cloth robe and a towel. Once you were decent, you opened the curtain.

“You say that, but why does it sound like you just signed my warrant?” You asked curiously, squeezing the ends of your hair with a towel. He hadn’t realized how comfortable you had gotten around each other, but he supposed he shouldn’t be all that shocked. All the small touches, the snuggles, then tender moments. He was addicted to them now, and he never wanted to kick the habit.

“Well, I reckon you’d wanna get back to your life now there ain’t a target on your back.” He sighs, removing his hat and running a hand through his hair.

“Oh Jack,” you chuckled and his head whipped up when your palms came to rest on his cheeks. “These past few moths have been some of the happiest moments of my life since my husband passed. My daughter loves you, you are so good with her, she’s had nothing but smiles and laughter. You make my days better, you make me happy.” You caressed his cheek and he was hanging on to your every word, staring into those beautiful eyes he dreamed after these days. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it clearer baby, you’ll have to pardon me for that, Lord knows I’ve been a little scattered, but I have my life, it’s right here, with you. That is, if you’ll have me.”

He was stunned, here in his arms he held everything he never thought he’d have when his wife died. A beautiful woman, a sweet baby, laughter, light, and maybe even love. “Oh honey,” he gasped, pulling you in and finally kissing you like he’s wanted to since he saw you that first day in the stables. “Wild horses couldn’t drag me from you and that little girl.” You giggled and kissed him again, and again. When you finally broke away, you grinned up at him, and in this moment if you had asked him to kill an army of a thousand, he would have asked you what time you wanted him home for dinner.

“Well then cowboy? Why don’t you get gussied up and we can celebrate our new beginnings. Together.”

[moody4world]

Real rider

A/N(?): i am !!NOT!! a writer, everything i write and post is simply for fun and not to be taken seriously

equestrian y/n teaching jack the basics of horse riding for churchill downs mv

this is fluff

Jack had just dropped his brand new album called home the kids miss you. He had already recorded a music video for first class but he was mostly excited to film his music video for churchill downs with THE drake himself.

He had proposed his idea of what he’d want to include in the music video to his directors and one of those scenes included jack riding a horse. Only problem with that was that Jack had never ridden a horse in his life. But he was dead set on having this in his music video.

“Come on Neelam there’s gotta be someone you know that can teach me, I mean how hard can it be right?” “Oh you’d be surprised, I do know someone and it’s definitely not as easy as you think Jack, you want to learn how to ride a horse at a high speed in the span of a few days when you’ve never even sat on a horse before, be for real.”

Jack stared at Neelam looking very offended but he knew she had a point. A really good one at that. But the last thing he was going to do is give up. “Okay okay that’s true but if they’re such a professional i can at least learn the basics right? I just really want this to look cool as fuck.”

“Fine i’ll give her a call later and see what I can do for you.”

“This is exactly why I never fired you.”

“Jack what the hell?”

“I’m kidding i’m kidding…wait did you say she?”

“Uh…yeah is that a problem?”

“No of course not I just thought it’d be a guy”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve just never seen you hang out with a horse girl before.”

“Oh god please don’t call her that or she’ll flip her shit. She hates it when people call her that.”

“Gee thanks for the heads up.”

Later that day you were watching a random movie that was recommended to you by a friend on netflix when your phone started ringing. You picked it up to see it was Neelam and you accepted the call. “Hey Neelam what’s up?” You said while stuffing your face with popcorn. “Hi y/n! just work and more work, you know how it is.” “Yeah that’s literally all you do, why’d you call though? is everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah everything is great..but”

“Uh oh what is it?”

“It’s nothing bad but I just need you to do me this one favor for the next two weeks and I promise i’ll pay you and everything just please help me out or this boy won’t leave me alone.” Neelam rambled

“You had me at the word pay but what do I have to do for the next two weeks? thats a lot of days.”

“Can you teach Jack how to ride a horse for his music video?”

You paused your movie at the mention of Jack’s name and put your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of you.

“Uhm yeah..yeah sure that’s fine I can do that. When do we start?”

“Are you available this friday?”

“Yeah that’s perfect, i’m sure you remember where the ranch is so i’ll see you then.”

“Thank you so so much y/n i’ll text you a time and more details later okay?”

“Okay byee”

You let out a heavy sigh after you both hung up. “I haven’t seen Jack in person in years…will he even recognize me? okay he probably will you haven’t changed THAT much y/n come on. Yeah that’s true…ugh i really hope he’s nicer now cause that dumpling joke was so annoying….it was kinda cute tho. Girl snap out of it. I’m literally having a whole dialogue with myself about this and I haven’t even started teaching him yet jesus christ.”

Everyone talks to themselves….I just happen to do it a lot more than usual and there’s nothing wrong with that. I knew Jack since middle school, we always had the same classes and he would sit near my lunch table and our friends usually hung out together. He never bullied me or anything like that cause i’d refuse to let a young jb look alike who raps to bully me. He just always pointed out things that made me feel slightly embarrassed. Like that one time he called my kermit and mrs. piggy socks cute which made his friends laugh about it. He apologized afterwards and said he really meant it but I mean who knows.

Friday comes around and I made sure I got to the ranch early to set everything up. I got the horses ready and even had enough time left to have a quick snack. A few minutes after I was done, I saw Neelam walking in with Jack. I walked over, meeting them half way. Neelam gives me a tight hug swaying us side to side as we always did when we see each other. “y/n!!!! hiiii” “It’s been way too long Nee” “I knooow this guy keeps me way too busy.” She says pointing towards Jack who’s standing there all awkward with his hands behind his back. He puts his hand forward and I do the same shaking his hand “Jack” “y/n” there’s an awkward silence between the three of us until Neelam clears her throat and breaks the silence “Oh..kay uh i’m gonna go and leave you two to it then. y/n good luck with this one.” “I think i’m gonna need it so thanks” “I’m standing right here…you guys realize that right?”Neelam laughs and walks towards the exit of the ranch. Once Neelam was out of earshot Jack turns to me and goes. “Long time no see y/n l/n” ugh here he goes with the last name. For some reason he could never just say my first name like everyone else. “Yeah long time no see…clearly not much has changed.” “I don’t see why that’s a bad thing dumpling.”

There it is..that old nickname. I didn’t want to have feelings for this guy but the butterflies were unavoidable at this point. He’s taller now, he has a nice beard, his hair is curlier, his voice is also deeper but his cute goofy smile is still the same and clearly the nicknames too. “I was hoping you’d forget about that name.” I said awkwardly. “I did until I saw your chubby cheeks again.” “Stop pointing it out” I said defensively but in a joking way, he laughs and puts his hands up in defense “I’ll stop…no promises.”

“Okay enough talking let’s get started or we’ll never get you to ride a horse in time for your music video.” “Okay let’s go”

Getting Jack to even get on a horse was harder than you expected.

“Pay attention to what I do so you can do it after me.” I get on the horse making sure to do it at a pace that he can follow and once i’m seated i turn to him and tell him to do what I did. Since he’s tall you would think its much easier but nope. This guy took like 5 minutes to even get on the horse, to be fair I didn’t pick our nicest horse for him either but he got on eventually. I got a good laugh out of seeing him struggle with something that was so easy to me though, no regrets so far.

After we did a little bit of trotting we took the horses for short walk before calling it a day. “So..how do you know Neelam?” he asked me out of no where “Uh…we met through a mutual friend” “Why are you lying?” “Who says i’m lying?” I was definitely lying, but how did he know that??? did Neelam tell him how we met?

No probably not cause he didn’t even know I was his instructor. “You did that awkward smile you used to do when you lie….so how did you guys really meet?”How does he even remember that?! i’m feeling those stupid butterflies again too get it together y/n. “Okay fine, I used to date her cousin a few years back and we got really close.” “Used to?” I don’t remember Jack being this nosey damn “You sure are nosey Jackman.” he shrugged.

“Not nosey just curious. I’d hate to be your ex, I know he feels stupid.” “You don’t even know what caused the break up.” “By your body language i can tell he’s the one that fucked up though.” “Yeah he did but i’ve been over it for a while now.” “Any new dudes in your life?” “No, just enjoying life as it comes these days. How about you mister rapper? new groupie every night or what?” “Who’s the nosey one now huh?” he says with a smirk. I know he did not just flip the script on me. “You asked a bunch of questions and all I asked is one and now i’m the nosey one?” “I’m just messing with you. But no i’m not like that… not anymore at least.” “Oh wow” He looked offended at my reply but can you blame me? he’s so popular now.

“What do you mean by oh wow? do I look like a manwhore to you?” I give him the look of “do you really want me to answer that?” “Okay don’t answer that” and we both started laughing. “Do you wanna do a small race to the stalls?” he looked at me as if i had grown two heads “ A race?!? are you trying to kill me? I thought we were getting along.” “You’re so dramatic it’s like 7 feet away” “Are you forgetting that you’re the real rider here and not me? I’m just an intern” “Okay prospect, no race this time. You’re such a party pooper.” “If you’re a good teacher and I get the hang of this by the end of these two weeks i’ll race you. Deal?” “Deal” We shook on it and continued our way to the stalls. Unlike getting on the horse, Jack had no issues getting off of it and he was quick to offer me his hand to help me get down.

Of course I didn’t need it but I decided to entertain him and accepted the help anyway. For whatever reason my horse, Talula felt like it was good moment to push me off and of course it had to be like one of those cliché rom coms. You know the ones where the girl falls into the guys chest and their faces are so close they’re almost breathing the same air and they look into each other’s eyes like its the prettiest thing they’ve ever seen?

Well that’s exactly what was happening between Jack and I. Until Talula decided to push me again and we both snapped out of it. His right arm was still around my waist and his other hand was still holding mine. I frantically pushed him away and stepped back brushing my clothes off from the invisible dust and possible horse fur.

“Sorry about that.” Jack apologized “No no it’s fine.” I started nervously laughing.He started walking backwards towards the exit “Tomorrow same time?” “Yeah, same time” “Alright, see you tomorrow dumpling.” He turned around now walking to the exit with his back towards me. “Stop calling me that.” “Not a chance dumpling.” He glanced at me over his shoulder with a smug grin on his face. I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t hold back my smile. After a full day of teaching Jack some of the basics and catching up a little bit I can say that he’s definitely the same goofy Jack that he was when I first met him in middle school. Maybe these next two weeks won’t be so bad after all.

[efingart]

hehehehehee "would you kiss them?" "..." "there's your answer." a discussion about bell between frank and alex

Go All Night - Part Two

Frank Woods x Bell

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ao3

Author's note: This chapter is safe, the previous chapter had sexual themes and the next chapter will definitely be NSFW.

______________________________________________

“You’re late,” Mason said when he heard Woods enter the van. 

“Yeah.”

“Why are you late?” He turned around, away from the cameras he had been reviewing, “You give me so much shit when I’m late-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Woods walked over and turned Mason’s chair around for him, “You figure out the cameras yet?”

Mason looked over his shoulder so he could narrow his eyes at Woods.

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Mason said. He had that knowing look on his face. Then Mason added, “Yeah, Park and I handled them- because we were on time .” 

Woods ignored the dig. 

Mason was fishing.

 He knew something was up. 

Hard to keep secrets from someone you’ve known for decades. But this wasn’t exactly the time. 

Woods got on the radio and let everyone know they were in position.

“See anything?” He asked as he leaned on the back of Mason’s chair.

“No,” He flicked through the feed on various rooms, “Park and I haven’t been able to find anything on the cameras.”

Woods surveyed the screens as well. It looked like a good time, not necessarily his cup of tea, but it was always fun running missions with Mason at one of these fancy parties. 

They could always find someone easy on the eyes to swing around the dance floor for a minute too. 

“You ever miss being on the inside of one of these?”

“Ha, no way. Though the view is usually nice,” Woods said as the camera panned over the ballroom. 

“Yeah, lots of beautiful people,” Mason looked at the screens again. He pointed to a group of dancers, “The dancing, now that’s what I miss.” 

“And the food.”

“Oh yeah, the food,” Mason smirked, “Remember that time walked out with a whole tray of hors d'oeuvre?”

“Needed to keep our energy up,” Woods grinned.

“Oh, those were good,” Mason patted his stomach, “Maybe Bell can sneak us some.”

“The only problem is the portions are too small.”

“Yeah, well, if you had a fancy party, you’d probably get Burger Town to cater. And Bubby to do the ceremony.”

“What are you getting on your high horse about?” He punched Mason in the arm, “Remember I was at your wedding.”

Mason laughed at this. 

“You know I’d actually pay money to see you in one of these getups again.”

“You’d pay money?”

“Yeah, it’s always so funny, and they get you to comb your hair and trim your beard. You clean up good, Woods.”

Woods chuckled.

“Whoa, wait, a second, speaking of cleaning up good,” Mason adjusted the camera, “Is that our Bell?”

“Looks like.”

“What do you mean looks like? Didn’t you drive her here?” Mason hit Woods in the chest with the back of his hand, “Woods- is that why you were late?”

“She needed some help.”

“Help with what ?” Mason’s eyes were wide and questioning.

Woods groaned. He knew Mason wasn't going to tell anyone, but it was Bell’s business, and he thought it best to not explain it. Anyway, it was one of those things that had seemed like a good idea at the time, but maybe he shouldn’t have been so hands-on . Maybe he shouldn’t have told her so much about his personal experience. Probably made her think he was another asshole who fucks around. He didn’t mean it like that. 

But then, in the car, when she had seemed like she felt so out of place, he wondered if his words had something to do with it. She looked stunning, in his opinion, better than most of the people there, and he was surprised she couldn’t see it. 

“Look, she needed help. I helped her. She’s not-” Woods waves his hand in the air over the screens, “-she’s not one of these people. She’s used to sitting behind a desk.”

Mason gave him another look. 

“Mason, come on.

“So what,” Mason narrowed his eyes at Woods, “You had to give her a pep talk?”

“Something like that.”

“And you couldn’t tell me because-”

“If Park had been there, Park would have helped her.”

“Woods-” 

Bell came over comms, “Can you check the ground floor, southeast side, corner.”

“Hang on,” Mason flipped through the cameras as Woods scanned the rest of the screens. He looked at Woods, who shook his head, “Coming up with nothing over here, Bell. Just looks like an office.”

“Then I think I’ve found the room.”

“Meet you there.”

Mason and Woods used the surrounding trees and greenery for cover and began moving to the location. 

They positioned themselves just under the window.

Bell came back on the radio coughing, “I’m opening a window for you. Wait, hang on. Patrol. Stay low.”

“All right, they’re gone. Quick.”

Mason and Woods made their way through the window and into the room where Bell was pulling the window coverings closed. Her hair was disheveled, and her mascara was running. Blood splatter across her chest.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just had a run-in with a guard,” She pointed to a body on the ground, “You know how it goes. Glad I’m wearing black.”

Mason picked up the body and hauled it to a closet. 

She rubbed her neck, “He leave a mark?”

“You’re good.”

Woods handed her his medkit, from which she grabbed some gauze. She peered at her reflection in one of the glass bookshelf doors and cleaned herself up. 

“I think the access panel is hidden,” She said, looking over the bookshelves, “But it would have to be easy to get to in an emergency.”

Woods pulled out a blacklight and scanned the wall. The top edge of a book lit up as well as a painting. Mason pulled the book aside to reveal a button, which he pressed. Something behind the painting clicked.

“Elaborate setup,” He said.

“Should I leave you both to it?” Bell asked. Bell made her way to the door and opened it a crack. Then she closed it. She put her ear to the door. There must have been a guard patrolling just outside.

“Yeah, I think we got this,” Mason moved the painting, revealing a panel. Fingerprints glowed bright blue under the light. A metal plate with six grooves on it, and a pin in the center was just behind it.

“What is this?”

“I’ve seen this before. Biometric scanner,” Mason frowned, “We need his hand.”

“How the fuck are we supposed to get his hand? Cut it off?”

“Park, Adler,” Mason radioed the rest of the team, “We need Desjardins’ hand.”

“His hand?” Park’s bewildered voice came over the radio. 

“We’ve got a Biometric scanner here.”

There was a momentary silence on the line.

“Easy enough,” Adler’s voice buzzed, “Someone’s going to have to make friends with him.”

“Sounds like a job for Bell,” Park added quickly.

Bell turned her head towards the room, looking stunned. 

“Ok, I’m on it,” She said with a wooden voice. And then to Woods and Mason, she said, “She just told me to do it because she doesn’t want to do it.”

“Seems like.”

Bell’s mouth was a line. 

She paced in front of the door, thinking things over. She was clearly frustrated.

Woods empathized with her. Bell was already way out of her comfort zone with this one. 

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Of course, I’ll be ok,” Her tone was sharp, annoyed, but she quickly softened it, “I’m sorry. I’ll be fine. I just have to figure this out.”

“You mean you don’t come to fancy parties and hit on arms dealers every day?” He nudged her shoulder, “Could have fooled me.”

She gave him a small smile, “Please, I couldn’t even get dressed for this on my own.”

They both laughed at that. 

“Bell, what’s the status?” Adler’s voice buzzed in their ears. 

It wasn’t really a question, more of a get your ass moving, Bell . 

Or a- what was it he always said to her? We’ve got a job to do.

Had to be some kind of inside joke. Adler said it to her so often.

They both knew he had finished his part and made his way to the van. He was looking at them through the cameras. 

“Duty calls,” Bell’s shoulders dropped, and she sighed, “On my way Adler.”

“Still holding it together?” She held her arms out to the side for assessment.

“Yeah, you still look great.”

Bell took in a deep breath and checked the hallway, and left.

Now there was nothing to do but wait. 

Mason and Woods sat behind the couch, hidden from view from the door.

“Are you going to be ok with this?” Mason teased.

“Ok, with what?” Woods looked back at him.

“Bell coming in here flirting with another guy-” 

“You like this?” Woods looked at Mason doubtfully.

Mason shook his head, “No, of course not. But sometimes, it’s part of the job. It’s not like she has to do anything. Anyway, we’re here to make sure things don’t get out of hand.” 

“Yeah.”

Mason kicked Woods’ boot, “But don’t think we can be friends for as long as we have, and I can’t tell when you’re interested in someone.”

“Yeah, well,” Woods rolled his eyes, “I may have already screwed a few things up today.”

“What when you were helping her ?”

“Mason-”

“All right, all right,” He threw his hands up, “What did you do?”

“I may have,” Woods paused, “ Overstated some things.”

“What things?”

“I may have implied ,” He flipped his hand over, holding it palm out, “That I’ve been with a lot of women.”

“You told a woman you were interested in that you’ve been with a lot of women ,” Mason said, his tone completely deadpan. 

Woods sighed and leaned his head back against the back of the couch, “And then I told her that I found her attractive- in a friendly way. ”

“In a friendly way?” Mason was incredulous, “Like as a friend? ”

Woods nodded. To his surprise, his friend was quietly laughing.

“Wow, you really pulled the wool over my eyes,” Mason shook his head, “I was over here thinking you just thought she was hot. Should have known after that Burger Town date.”

“That wasn’t a date.”

“So you’ve said.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, I knew Bell had a thing for you-”

“You what? ”

“But you,” He pointed at Woods, “I had no idea. You usually steer clear of workplace romances. Unlike everyone else.”

“Things get messy,” Woods interjected.

“But,” Mason went on, “You also have a habit of saying the wrong thing when you’re interested in someone. It’s almost like you’re trying to destroy your chances before anything even happens.”

Woods exhaled heavily, “I don’t know if it’s like that.”

“Okay, say you didn’t completely blow it-” Mason grinned at him now, “Would you kiss her?”

“What? Mason-”

“Come on, if you got the opportunity , would you?”

Woods said nothing.

“Yeah, there’s your answer,” Mason pointed at him again, “If you weren’t really interested, you would have laughed that off.”

Woods considered this. Maybe that’s why he had been so quick to help her. She had always seemed so reserved and guarded. It had surprised him a bit when she was so open to letting him touch her. Especially so intimately, standing there in her underwear while he ran his hands over her legs, her hips. In that button-up that just hinted at what was underneath. Her attitude about It threw him off, and that’s probably why he had been so eager to joke around. 

Would he kiss her? Hell yeah he would. 

“Bell’s on the move,” Adler’s voice crackled in his ear, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

Through the door, he could hear somewhat exaggerated laughter. The kind that women usually used when a guy wasn’t really all that funny but always worked to stroke an insecure ego. 

No one had ever used it on him, of course. He was just familiar with it.

The door to the room burst open, and Bell and the arms dealer, Maximilien Desjardins, walked in.

“This doesn’t look like a bedroom, Max,” Bell said, laughing. She might be playing a little tipsy. Her voice was higher than usual.

“Astute observation, it is not.”

Woods peeked over the couch. Desjardins made a twirling motion with his finger implying that Bell should turn around. She complied.

“I wanted to show you something. You said you were interested in new tech,” He confirmed Bell wasn’t looking before pulling the book off the shelf. Then he pressed the button to open the panel behind the painting. 

Woods and Mason exchanged looks, both ready to jump in. 

Bell signaled them to wait. 

She had this.

“Ok, turn around now. You don’t want to miss this.”

Bell turned and leaned against the desk, letting her leg casually slide out from the slit in her dress.

With a hydraulic hiss, one of the bookcases began to move along the wall revealing another room. 

Bell put her hands to her mouth in awe. Woods knew it was put on. 

She wasn’t impressed. 

She saw cool stuff like this all the time.

“Wow, it’s like a movie.”

Laying it on thick, Bell?

But Desjardins only chuckled. He stood in front of her and placed his hand on her exposed skin.

What a creep.

“Isn’t it something?” He was looking over his shoulder at the opening to the room, “It’s a panic room. State-of-the-art. ”

“Oh wow,” She smiled at him admiringly and touched his upper arm, causing him to turn back to her. Then she leaned in, and in a conspiratorial tone, she said, “You wouldn’t- let me see inside, would you?”

She flirted with this guy with surprising ease. Gone was the discomfort. She seemed to have settled into this role. But of course, she had. She was a professional. Desjardins looked her up and down while tracing circles with his hand along her thigh. She made a soft sound at his touch. 

He cupped her face in his hand, bringing it up to meet him.

“Just a peek?” She said softly before he kissed her.

“Yes, all right,” Desjardins said after pulling out of the kiss.

He placed a hand on her lower back and led her into the room.

In the panic room, their conversation was muffled. 

Woods felt a tap on his knee and looked over at Mason.

“Would you chill out?” Mason mouthed.

It was then he realized from Mason’s perspective that he looked like he was about to pounce. Of course, he hadn’t been, but he hadn’t realized how tense he had gotten watching the interaction between Bell and the arms dealer.

“I just want to be ready.”

“She’s fine. She’s got this.”

Woods nodded. He knew. He just didn’t like the way Desjardins was pawing all over her.

“You know I don’t like it either,” Mason said as if he could read Woods’ mind.

Bell’s laughter traveled from the panic room to their ears.

“We should move up.” 

And just as they did, the door to the panic room closed, locking Bell inside alone with Desjardins.

“Fuck,” Woods hissed, “We can’t even get her on the radio while she’s in there.” 

“Adler,” Mason got on the radio, “Can you see inside the room?”

“No, that’s on its own system,” Adler said, “We just have to wait it out. Bell can handle herself.”

Just then an alarm blared through the mansion. Large shutters slammed down over the windows. They were trapped. They had expected triggering the panic room would set off alarms. Which was why the plan had been that they would be handling it, and Bell was supposed to be on her way out by now.

“Shit, shit.”

“Hostiles heading straight for you,” Adler said, “Park, leave with the other guests.” 

Mason tipped over one of the bookcases in front of the door. Then Woods wedged the desk on top of it. They tossed another bookcase on that and propped the couch up, waiting for the door to be breached.

“That’ll hold them off for a minute.”

“Hopefully, we have a minute.”

They could hear the door begin to splinter as it was fired upon.

“Good thing rich folks love their hardwood.”

Woods chuckled. 

“Hope they don’t have a battering ram.”

He looked over at the bookshelf that hid the entrance to the panic room. Bell could hold her own, but why hadn’t she exited the room yet?

“They have a battering ram,” Adler said, “There’s six of them. But it looks like more are on their way.”

“There were two in the security room trying to override the window shutters,” Park’s voice this time.

“ Were? ” Mason repeated, grinning.

“Good work, Park,” Adler said, “You should get out of there.”

Something heavy slammed on the main door to the room.

The battering ram.

The door began to bend under the force being applied to it.

They both readied their weapons and aimed at the door. In an instant, the door broke off its hinges, and the force sent the furniture braced in front of it back a few feet. 

They had breached the door.

Woods and Mason both fired. 

Shell casings littered the floor. 

The guards returned fire. 

Woods ducked behind the couch to reload. At that moment, the panic room door slid open. The doorway was empty. 

“I’ll cover you,” Woods said to Mason as he reloaded and returned fire. Mason took the opportunity to slide to the open door firing as he went. 

“Woods, come on!” Mason shouted as he fired from the doorway of the panic room. Woods unloaded another round and dashed for the door. Bell was sitting on the floor, leaning her arm on a desk just inside the room. Her finger poised over a button just on the desk.

“Mason, move!” Bell wheezed as she hit a button on a computer console, and the door slid closed. Then it was quiet except for a fan and a computer hard drive whirring.

They all took a minute to catch their breath. 

“You ok?” Woods asked Bell. Her face and neck were bruised. Lipstick smeared. One strap of her dress was torn, and the skin of her knuckles was scraped.

“If you could see yourself, you wouldn’t be asking me that,” She laughed. It had a bit of a cough to it. And then, using the desk as support, she stood up. 

“What the hell happened?”

Bell kicked something on the floor, “This fucking creep.”

That’s when he realized it was Desjardins’ body. 

He looked over at her. She was tying the two pieces of her shoulder strap together. That’s when he noticed a scrape on her shoulder. 

“Asshole tore my dress. I don’t know when he figured out who I was. Must have given myself away somehow.”

She touched her chin absently. Three tiny red cuts contrasted against a forming purple bruise. 

“He tried to knock me out, but we got into it. I shot him. Good thing I had that gun, huh?” She gave Woods a soft smile, “Anyway, we gotta get out of here.”

Mason said, looking around, “How? Unless you’re hiding a door in that dress- it’s a dead end.”

Bell shook her head and pointed at one of the camera monitors set up just inside the panic room.

“No, look. That’s an elevator. But I think it will only open to this room with a command from this computer console,” She pointed on the monitor to what looked like a tiny closet. It could easily have been an elevator. Then she moved her finger down to another monitor, “And I think that’s an underground garage. Look at all those fancy cars. Might be our way out. Might also be how they got in to do the upgrades on this room without us noticing.”

She grabbed a book that had been sitting on the desk and flipped it open. It was the same one that hid the button for the access panel outside. Desjardins must have brought it with him. 

“Then what’s the book for? Doing some light reading?”

Bell grinned, “It’s just a hunch, but I think this is how we get in there.”

She pointed to a blank space on the wall.

“Are we supposed to be seeing something?”

“I think it’s another hidden door,” She flipped open the book and placed it on the desk just below the security cameras, “Desjardins was paranoid. He wouldn’t just trap himself in a room- he’d have a way out. And said he just had the room updated, right? State-of-the-art . Maybe he changed some security codes and needed to keep a reminder around just in case.”

“Suppose you don’t want to be waiting on the line with IT support in one of these,” Mason joked as he looked around. 

“Exactly,” Bell chuckled, “Hey, Woods, do you have your blacklight?”

He stood next to her, switched into the blacklight, aiming it at the open book. Bell started flipping through it.

She stopped when a page lit up with fingerprints. 

Placing her hands on either side of the book, she studied the page intently. Her face was so serious. He liked watching her work, her brilliant mind putting the pieces together. It was like she was in her own world. It was amazing some of the things she could do in her head.

As she reviewed the page, she unclipped her hair and combed it with her fingers.  She gathered it in the back in a low ponytail and put the clip back into place. 

Then she glanced at him briefly and grinned before she sitting down on the stool and sliding the book over to the computer console. She started typing furiously.

“Got something?”

“Yeah, I think this book has the code or is the key to it. If you need to move the book to gain access to the panel, it’s easy enough to bring it with you,” She continued typing, “Or this could just be a favorite book and a favorite passage.” 

She shrugged. 

“Long password,” Mason observed.

“Yeah, it’s good and secure. I mean, he’s not going to use password for his panic room,” She laughed, “Could you imagine using password as your password? Sure would make my job easier.”

Woods gave Mason a look, but his friend pointedly looked in another direction.

A hydraulic hissing sound filled the room, and a door popped open from what once had been an empty wall.

“Damn, this is right out of Star Trek,” Woods said in awe. He touched Bell’s shoulder, “Good fucking job.”

“Thanks. I’ll grab the list as well,” She began typing at rapid speed again. Mason studied the monitors above her head. 

“Looks like they’re making their way downstairs.”

“They’re going to be waiting for us.”

“Nothing we can’t handle, right?” Bell said optimistically as she read through the files.

Woods exchanged a look with Mason. She wasn’t supposed to have been here with them. The plan had been for her to leave as a guest. She had no gear and a tiny gun with minimal ammo.

He removed his pistol and set it next to her.

“You’re gonna have to be careful down there.”

Shooting him a look, she said, “Do you expect me to be careless?”

“Bell-”

“Which one of you has the disk?” She interrupted, holding her hand out.

After copying the list to a disk, they took the elevator down. It was an uncharacteristically quiet elevator ride. It’s not like he and Mason had never had to escort someone who was under-armed before. Bell was capable, but she was likely annoyed at the idea of being considered a liability. 

The elevator opened up into a small room. Double doors lead out into what they thought would be the garage. Mason opened one door lightly, looking around the room. 

He crouched as he entered the garage. Woods approached the door to watch Mason’s progress. He signaled to Bell to stand close to him and stay low. She exhaled heavily, not hiding her irritation, but complied. Woods couldn’t blame her. He would probably feel the same way. 

The room was a giant garage filled with rows of cars. All of them were bright and gleaming under the garage lights. All well-maintained. Some Woods would have very much liked to drive under different circumstances. 

As they entered, Woods noted that the garage floor sloped upward into the ceiling as they entered. 

It was a strange design, but this wasn’t exactly the time to critique modern interior architecture.  Just in front of them was some kind of maintenance setup. It looked like some of the cars were being serviced. A large van stood in front of these.  

Someone fired on them. They dashed to cover behind the van. Bell reached for a rolling cart and searched through the drawers as Woods returned fire. The van lurched as the tires, riddled with bullets, deflated.

Bell fired at the lights surrounding them, dimming this section of the garage. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting us out of here,” She put her arm up as the van window exploded a few feet above her head. 

“Trust me, ok?”

She shot out a few more lights just behind them.

“You don’t have any C4, do you?”

He stared at her, mystified, but handed her his bag all the same. 

Mason began to fire on the guards from behind a car up ahead.

“Come on!” He shouted. 

“Distract them, ok?” Bell said and ran in the other direction. He debated following her, but Mason kept the guards occupied enough that it didn’t seem like they had noticed her. And him running in the same direction might only serve to draw their fire to her. So Woods headed for Mason.

He stayed low and moved as quickly as he could. Shattered glass rained around him as windshields were torn apart by bullets. 

“We need to get the hell out of here!” Mason shouted, “Where’s Bell?”

Suddenly one side of the ceiling began to open up like a hanger door turned on its side. 

A black Pontiac GTO Convertable peeled up the ramp stopping short just beside them. At first glance, it looked like it was driving itself.

“Get in!” Bell shouted from the driver’s side. She had slid down deep into the seat to avoid getting shot. 

“You hotwire this car?” Woods asked as he jumped in back. 

“What like it’s hard?” Bell laughed.

Woods and Mason continued shooting at the guards from the backseat. Bell gunned it, but the large door had begun to close again. 

“Oh fuck,” Mason exclaimed when he looked over his shoulder, “Don’t look ahead, just don’t.”  

“Bell, the door-”

“I got it! I got it!” She attempted to assure him.

Though neither of them seemed to feel particularly comforted by her words. 

Just behind them, an explosion rocked the garage.

“The C4?”

Bell grinned. 

The door still loomed ahead. It was a tight squeeze, but she was able to get the car through before the door slammed down on them. As they drove into the night, Bell pulled herself up into a sitting position, and both Woods and Mason settled into the backseat.

Mason looked around the car, “This was a convertible before, right?”

____________________________________________________________________

They met Adler and Park at the exfil point and hopped into the van. 

“I’m still sad we couldn’t keep the car,” Bell said, looking out the window at it as they drove off. 

“First the APC and now this?” Woods settled into his seat across from her.

“It’s a souvenir.”

“You can’t pin that to Adler’s evidence board,” He joked. For a moment it was quiet. The sound of hushed conversation floated to the back of the van drawing their attention. Mason, was up front leaning over the seat and talking to Adler and Park. 

“You know,” Woods tapped Bell’s knee, “I was pretty impressed back there.”

“With what- my driving skills?”

He laughed, “Yeah, you’re a little crazy, but you got the job done.” 

She made a dismissive sound and shook her head. 

“No, I mean,” He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and spoke quietly, “You were so nervous before. I knew you had it in you. And then getting Desjardins to show you the panic room-” 

“Oh god,” She ran a hand over her face, “Yeah, that was- I think I’d have preferred you both not see that.”

“The flirting? Yeah, you did great. It surprised me.”

“Oh well, one-on-one isn’t so bad,” Bell tucked her hair behind her ear and looked around before speaking again. 

She had a strange look in her eyes. She seemed to be debating something in her mind.  

Then she looked up at him and said, “I just imagined I was talking to you.”

[xtinyslip]

lcvenderhcze​:

“AND YOU THINK SHE’S GOING TO STAY THERE FOR LONG? have you met hope van dyne, detective? if so - tell me if you think she is not doing everything in her power as we speak to get her out? maybe even… telling a certain agent perez where to find her long lost partner. or maybe she’s not. if not… maybe i will, because.. hear me very clearly when i say this. you don’t matter to me. your boyfriend doesn’t matter to me. amanda does. and if i have to throw you both under the bus to save her? SO BE IT.” he would have absolutely no regrets to do so, as mark hoffman meant nothing to him and never would. not as far as will was concerned. “she’s not in love with me. she’s my sister. my family. don’t suppose you’d know much about that, because… didn’t you let the only one that you have ever had die? YEAH. THOUGHT SO.” he rolled his eyes. acting childish, maybe, but he couldn’t stand the other and his high horse and right now, he didn’t believe that he ever would. nope. fuck him. “she’s not going to die. i won’t let it. hope won’t let it. maybe you think she’s alone, but.. she’s not. she has people backing her up. more than you do, at that.” was he feeling particularly bold? or did he not care about what the other thought anymore? either way, this worked and would continue to, as far as he was concerned. “AND HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU’RE ALONE. and i can begin to think of a looooot of people who would be interested in knowing where strahm is. perez. jill tuck. kramer. decker. the list goes on and on and on and once they found out you lied? it might just be YOU who ends up in a cell, but.. unlike amanda, you wouldn’t have people lining around the block to come and see you. nope. it’d just be you.. alone.. for good. SO.. CAREFUL, DETECTIVE. MAYBE IT WILL BE YOU WHO GOES DOWN.” @xtinyslip

"her reach has its limits. why else would she come to me for help?" hoffman imagined it hadn't been easy for hope to do that, just like it hadn't been easy for him to call her up on the favor she had offered him all that time ago. the last thing they needed was anyone doing anything stupid, anything drastic that would come back to bite any of them later. sure, as long as it wasn't back on him he wouldn't normally care but this situation was different. everything was too tightly tangled together for this shit. "if throwing me under the bus for this was that easy? you would have done it by now." no, he wasn't stupid and after all the years he'd been doing this by himself. well, he knew how to cover this tracks and usually, he did. strahm was different, it was fucking stupid but it was. "guess you can relate, hum? letting your own sister be charged with multiple murders. you think they'll just stitch her for this? no, they'll get that bitch with anything that sticks." harsh reality but true. "admit it, you don't know what or who i have." sure, he knew about strahm -- it was a gut punch that he found out so early but it was bound to surface eventually. everything and everyone else? well, he kept that to himself. of course. "how's anyone ever going to prove it? people come back from the dead here all the time. doesn't mean i lied about shit." not being able to help but talk through gritted teeth because that's what this guy did to him. "i don't know who you and van dyne are going to pin this on. i just know it wont be me 'cause if it is? go right ahead but young comes straight down with me and van dyne knows that. seeing as you're her little bitch? i know she won't be giving that order." it was more than what hoffman was saying but he didn't want this prick to know that. the truth was that push came to shove, she wouldn't be the one he chose to shove either. @lcvenderhcze

xtinyslip

"THAT'S WHAT YOUR GOING WITH? what you think was right? who gives a fuck? 'cause when she's rotting in prison or worse? i'm sure the last thing that's gonna' be on her mind is thanking you for being respectful." the kid didn't have to like it, it's how mark saw it and he was trying to be practical about the situation. they wouldn't be here right now if he'd stopped young from falling out of line. well, there was falling and then there was falling flat on her face like young had. "whether she's in love with kramer, van dyne or you. it's not going to matter if we can't pull a fucking hail mary and get her out of here." which didn't seem likely. this time no one was screwing around and could hoffman blame them? no. garza was in charge and she was riding this all the way to town and again, he wasn't sure he could entirely blame her either. "the problem?" if he truly wasn’t aware of the problem then he was being left off easy. “think i’m losing sleep over matthews? that’s not the problem. the problem is he’s not gonna’ be the only one who dies for this? young? she signed a death sentence with what she did.” and normally, he would have been smug and sitting back letting it happen. however, thanks to van dyne, he couldn’t have that approach. “my --” mark pressed his lips together, realising exactly what the other meant. “he finds out from you, through you in any way, shape or form? SHE ROTS.” and he meant it. “i said i would do my best. if you think i’m going down for that bitch? you’re all wrong.”

"AND YOU THINK SHE'S GOING TO STAY THERE FOR LONG? have you met hope van dyne, detective? if so - tell me if you think she is not doing everything in her power as we speak to get her out? maybe even... telling a certain agent perez where to find her long lost partner. or maybe she's not. if not... maybe i will, because.. hear me very clearly when i say this. you don't matter to me. your boyfriend doesn't matter to me. amanda does. and if i have to throw you both under the bus to save her? SO BE IT." he would have absolutely no regrets to do so, as mark hoffman meant nothing to him and never would. not as far as will was concerned. "she's not in love with me. she's my sister. my family. don't suppose you'd know much about that, because... didn't you let the only one that you have ever had die? YEAH. THOUGHT SO." he rolled his eyes. acting childish, maybe, but he couldn't stand the other and his high horse and right now, he didn't believe that he ever would. nope. fuck him. "she's not going to die. i won't let it. hope won't let it. maybe you think she's alone, but.. she's not. she has people backing her up. more than you do, at that." was he feeling particularly bold? or did he not care about what the other thought anymore? either way, this worked and would continue to, as far as he was concerned. "AND HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU'RE ALONE. and i can begin to think of a looooot of people who would be interested in knowing where strahm is. perez. jill tuck. kramer. decker. the list goes on and on and on and once they found out you lied? it might just be YOU who ends up in a cell, but.. unlike amanda, you wouldn't have people lining around the block to come and see you. nope. it'd just be you.. alone.. for good. SO.. CAREFUL, DETECTIVE. MAYBE IT WILL BE YOU WHO GOES DOWN." @xtinyslip

[thefanficmonster]

Unlucky

Part 2: ‘Lucky Me’

Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Corpse decides to email back a person who has sent him quite a few creepy stories. She never seems to run out of scary encounters of both sorts: paranormal and stranger-danger. He gets suspicious that the stories are all made up so she can grab his attention, but he’s in for a surprise.

U/N - username

Requested: No

Corpse’s POV

I’m looking through my most recent emails from fans. They are all of scary encounters they’ve allegedly experienced. By now, I’ve read so many, it’s easy to decipher which are real and which are just made up nonsense. Some, I must admit, give me chills. Big props to the people who write those, especially if they are made up. If you can make someone’s skin crawl with your twisted, frightening imagination, you have one, for lack of a better term and in the most positive way, fucked up mind.

My cursor lands on the familiar username I see almost every other week. U/N. They have been sending stories consistently for about three years now. They, and I’m saying they cause you can never be sure who’s hiding behind the username, are either the most unlucky person to walk the planet or the one with most twisted imagination and story telling skills. I’ll admit, sometimes I narrate a story just because it’s well written. Believability is not the only thing I go by, I also reward creativity. And this person, U/N, has had their spot in many of my videos in the last three years. I’m honestly hoping they are made up, or at least some of them, because not only are there too many of them, but none of them fail to give me that eerie paranoia after I read them or the chills while I read them.

Once again, they have submitted a downright terrifying story. It would be a shame if I didn’t narrate it.

It would be a shame if I....

If I never actually meet them.

This many run-ins with people with malicious intent, always getting away by some miracle, what if they one day don’t make it out alive to tell it.

My heart sinks a little at the thought. I feel like I know this person, like we’ve known each other for three years now. They know the things the whole internet knows about me, and I, along with my regular watchers, know their stories. That’s by no means enough, now that I think about it.

My next action is really out of character for me. I decide to reach out to them. My fingers fly over the buttons on my keyboard too fast for my rational side to try and stop them. Deep down, I know I’m doing the rightest wrong thing I’ve ever done. My previously sunk heart is now in its assigned spot again, beating quickly.

You don’t know what you’re doing

I maybe don’t, but knowing isn’t what’s important right now. I just wanna do it.

~ Hey, this is probably, what, your twentieth story so far. I’m just curious, how many of these are made up? By the way, your stories are amazing and I’ll probably keep narrating them even if they aren’t real. They’re just that good.

I send the email before I can talk myself out of it. I get up from my chair immediately afterwards, putting as much distance between me and the computer as possible, silently promising myself I won’t be checking my mail every five minutes.

Y/N’s POV

I anxiously refresh and refresh my email inbox, waiting for the dreaded email back from my professor. Being halfway through the college experience, I know how tough this professor’s class is and how much I suck at it. I sent him my completed assignment last night, barely making the deadline mind you, so now I’m sweating hardcore, staring my computer screen down.

After refreshing for the millionth time, I’m met with a new email which makes my heart stop for a second or two, my stomach dropping. Then I take the time to read the sender’s name, the subject and the first sentence of the email, and all the previous changes in me reverse. My heartbeat picks up speed, going faster than a galloping horse and my stomach turns, making me feel the sensation everyone calls ‘butterflies’.

Nah, man. This shit ain’t real. It can’t be.

But then again, what if it is. What if I’m about to full-on ignore my favorite youtuber because of my paranoia. Well, it’s not exactly unsupported. My life has been a shit show of unfortunate event and situations I’ve literally had to claw my way out of in order to stay alive. Now, when something of the sort happens, it’s just another weekday. However, I still wanna share these encounters. Not only because they are proof of the dangers girls have to deal with on a daily basis, but they also get narrated by one of my favorite people ever. What more can a girl ask for?

~ Listen, I’m really not looking forward to getting catfished. Please leave me alone

It’s short, not sweet, and to the point. It’s easy to understand, and it clearly states that I’m not falling for it if it’s a scam, but if it’s real....someone call 911 cause I think I’ll faint.

~ I get it, you have trust issues. But that’s understandable. From the creepy guy messaging you on all your social media. To the stalker you had from you high school, or even that teacher that turned out to not be a teacher at all and just a pedo, I see where the lack of trust is coming from. But I assure you, they only thing I wanna do is chat.

The shock and happiness overwhelm me when the reply arrives not even ten minutes later. 

Holy shit, this is him.

I start typing and then erase the typed half-sentence at least three times before receiving another email from him. From Corpse Husband. Corpse freaking Husband. How the fuck am I supposed to compose myself enough to reply to him, let alone sound cool and leave a good impression.

My hand shakes as I click the newly received email.

~ You probably don’t know what to say. Either that or you just don’t wanna talk to me. If you’re just baffled and surprised, reply with your name. If you want me to fuck off, ignore this email completely.

The smile I didn’t realize was there grows into a grin as small bursts of laughter escape me. Laughter caused by disbelief and shock. The type of laugh you let out when you score a good mark on the test you thought you completely fucked up.

~ Y/N. My name’s Y/N. 

PS: The stories are all 100% real. All happened. In the order I sent them too. And before you ask, I guess I’m just unlucky, but you are proving me wrong right now.

I don’t know where that confidence at the end came from, but I don’t care really. All that matters is that this might just actually be happening and it might be the best thing to ever happen to me.

~ Man, you’ve had it rough. Tell me, is there an easier way to access you than email. Like Insta DMs? I feel we have a lot to talk about and email is not the most convenient.

At this point, it feel so much like a fever dream that I decide to treat it as though it is. I just go with the flow.

~ Yeah, but first.....am I really not being catfished right now?

The email I receive as a reply to this message is empty of text but there’s a file attached. Not gonna lie, I am a bit hesitant to open it, but I decide that if this turns bad, I’ll just have to deal with it. In the meantime, I’ll believe it’s not a scam.

It’s an audio file: “No, Y/N, you are not being catfished.”

That voice. That god damn voice. It could convince me of anything. 

And now it’s convinced me into believing him. And finally letting out that squeal I was holding back before sending him my Instagram username.

[sslutf0ryel3na]

COMPLICATED — S1-E4: Woof woof

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem! Reader x Jean Kirstein

Word count: 6.4K

Series summary: Two boys, opposites you could say with a troubled past, fall for the same girl. You to be precise, but one falls head over heels at first sight, and as for the other, won't dare to admit his feelings. With the first guy, you had a not-so-welcoming encounter with. And well, the same goes for the other play boy as well. Are you a competition to them? Maybe. Will you fall for one, or both? Definitely. But how will everything play out in the end?

Chapter summary: You and Eren are forced to put your hatred aside when the both of you are paired up for a project. Things get interesting when You and Noah spot Jean and Connie up to no good

Content warning: mild foreplay

Previous chapter | Next chapter

｡･:*˚:✧ 𝖢𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 ｡･:*˚:✧

𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆, 3:00 𝗮𝗺

𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

The desire to have someone only to myself. For no one to look at them but only me. For her to not look at anyone but me. The impulse of wanting to keep them safe, and only in my arms. Bull-shit, right?

Is she really the reason why I can't fucking sleep?

.....

Sleep deprived and deep in thought as I took a late night shower. You could say I'm an early bird, I like to start off my day bright and untimely.

But this night was different. I couldn't get a wink of sleep. My rage, despair, was slowly building up inside of me. Which was the cause for this late bathe.

I thought the cold droplets of water drenching my locks, face, and bare body, would soothe my dispersed thoughts.

It didn't really play in my favor though.

There were multiple thoughts running around my mind. My mom being the main point, Reiner and his fucked up motives, horse face just existing which was enough to annoy me like hell... and you.

I couldn't get you out of my head, and it's driving me crazy.

I guess you could say I'm not the type to show emotions, and in consequence, I always try to vanquish them. But it's been hard for me to do that lately when I'm around her. It's—it's weird, because I keep telling myself that I don't like her in that way of any sort...

And I don't, for sure.

"She's.... irritating, stupid, and talks back to me with such confidence. So why is she always on my mind? Yeah, fuck no."

I let out a breath of frustration before I tilted my chin up with my eyes shut right below the shower head, so I could let the frigid drips of pressured water completely run down my heated face.

The pads of my fingers were massaging my scalp and I let out a puff of relaxation, seeing my exhale in the cold air around me. I wasn't anywhere near relaxed though. Who the fuck decides to take a shower at three-am?

School has always been easy for me, and I can thank my photographic memory for that. Cam, my nickname, short for 'camera' is what Armin call's me as an outcome from my gift. I didn't really mind it, it was actually pretty smart of him.

The fucking high-tempered grown ass— nah, short ass history teacher decided to call Aunt Faye, because of me throwing his tea cup down the trash on the first day of school.

I mean, the fucking rules should apply to everyone, right? I can't have a drink, then you can't have one either... midget.

Mikasa and I have been taken under the care of my Aunt as a legal guardian for us. My no-show sick old man, decided to run back to his second family—or travel the world on his own, my Aunt had presumed. I really don't know.

I could care less, he was never the father figure I thought he would be. He was just a web of twisted lies.

He left us with seven-hundred grand though, the only useful thing the bitch did for us.

After my mother passed away, me and Mikasa had to learn five languages due to the both of us traveling with my Aunt through foreign countries. French was a big hit with the girls, it was a one up for me for being bilingual I guess.

My mom shaped me, and nurtured Mikasa and I to be the best we could be. Even though I was hard to work with and... pretty stubborn and selfish, she still put up with my existence.

My mother's last words to me, were—

Fuck, I'm just going to hurt myself even more if I think about this.

....

I didn't even get to say goodbye. She never came back.

I miss you, mom.

-

Two hours of sleep was definitely not the move.

Five-am, I need my caffeine. This brain of mine doesn't function unless I have a cigarette and a coffee cup in my fingertips.

"Schedule the meeting for this evening, Anka. Okay, I'll call you back later. Well, good morning to you Eren. Can you at least put a shirt on? and why do you look like you pulled an all-nighter?"

"Aunt Faye, it's too early for all the questioning. Where's Mia? I really need a cup of coffee."

Mia is our house maid. She did most of the cooking, and cleaning if Mikasa or I hadn't already. She's the only woman I trust with my espresso.

"She's been fired." Aunt Faye spoke like she didn't matter at all. She sighed and took a seat on the living room couch with her eyes staring down at her phone screen.

You're fucking joking.

"WHY?" I couldn't take in the sentence that left her mouth. I stood in front of Aunt Faye all tongue-tied until she noticed me, and answered my confusion.

"Look," She finally tore her face away from her phone, and peeked up at me. "She hasn't been very punctual for these past two days."

Wow. That's the best excuse you got, huh?

I roll my eyes in disappointment, and say: "You do realize that her and her family relied on us financially, right?"

"And I relied on her to be here on time everyday." She told me with a scoff, making me even more irritated.

"She's dead-ass the only person in this world who knew how to make a decent cup of coffee!" I exclaimed. I was being serious, but her face took me as a joke.

"You're overreacting, Eren."

"I got two-hours of sleep."

"Ever tried Starbucks? heard the place makes the coffee your addicted to like weed."

....

Damn, so I got her smart mouth.

"We're done discussing this, I'm late for a meeting." Aunt Faye lifted herself off the couch, grabbing her Coach hand-bag from the table in front of her, and shoved right past my shoulder.

My widened eyes followed her movements. I was pissed, but she clearly ignored it.

"If you want, you can skip school today." She shrugged with no concern, then left the house without waiting for my response.

She's no different from her brother...

I yawned, and peered at the square glass clock ticking above my fireplace.

"IF yOu wAnT YoU cAn SkIp sChOoL tOday, tsk."

-

8:30 𝗮𝗺, 𝗠𝗿. 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻'𝘀 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀

𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗢𝗩

New faces. Two new faces to be exact. Tweedle dee and tweedle dum, sitting at the front of the column of desks to the left. Mullet sits at the desk right in front, and baldie sitting right behind his bestie.

You've got to be kidding me. Did they get a schedule change? Great.

Then you have Mr. Anger issues looking all sleep deprived at the front of the row of desks in the opposite corner from mullet.

I swear... bad luck is always on my side.

When you entered the class, Jean and Eren both witnessed your face of complete shock from the sight of BOTH of them now being in your first period.

You just stood by the front door, dazed with a hand gripping your backpack dangling from your right shoulder. Jean strangely took his gaze off you, while Eren looked untroubled from your usual self.

Why does Jean seem... mad?

You didn't notice how odd you looked just eyeing the two boys left to right, until you glanced at the browbeat teacher patiently waiting for you to take your seat.

Don't look at me like that Mr. Ackerman, or you're gonna make me act up lol.

You slowly suspire, finally breaking out of your frozen position to walk to your shady seat at the back of the classroom.

But a stony voice stopped you in your tracks. You obeyed the man, and turned around.

"Y/n. Since I have to keep an eye on you due to your idiotic decisions from last class, you'll be switching seats with Historia."

HAHAHA. He's acting like I'll have a problem with that. Please, I'll just get a better view of you now, sir. Wait.. but then I'll be in between the two bozos.

You see Historia stuffing all her belongings back into her backpack before she gets off her seat to switch positions with you. Historia gave you a half smile as she swept past your shoulders towards the back, and you mirrored her same look as well when you sauntered towards your new seat.

Everything about this whole situation was quite embarrassing. Because the whole classroom was dead silent as they watched you take your new seat in the middle of their boyfriends. Envious for what?

I'm sitting between a cloud of tension. Wonderful.

I wish Mikasa was in this classroom.

"I hope you're all ready for your first test. For those of you who aren't ready, you have ten minutes to get your life together." Mr. Ackerman hissed, and most students started to panic from the announcement. You studied hard beforehand, so you didn't break a sweat.

But Connie sure did, and you couldn't help but overhear baldie bothering playboy with his frustration.

"Bro, we have a test?! How come nobody tells me anything?" Connie frantically spoke, leaning over his desk towards Jean's shoulder.

"I told you. Five times, idiot." Jean flicked Connie's big head away from him, making Connie pout and slump back onto his desk. He glared at the back of Jean's head.

"I was expecting you to drop my Ps4 in the Pacific Ocean to help me focus. Where were you when I needed you, dude?"

Connie agonizing was the funniest shit you ever heard. You almost even felt bad for the poor boy.

"Just study now..." Jean muttered over his shoulder, rolling his eyes and pulling out his textbook from his backpack.

"I'm just gonna drink away all my problems." Connie sighed, as he sipped on a non-alcoholic-beverage.

Baldie sure is a hell of a comedian. They will keep me entertained until the testing starts.

Jean rotated his upper body back at Connie with a puzzled expression, and said: "That's... literally a caprisun, but go off."

"I am not taking this test, Jean."

"Yeah, because that's how it totally works..."

"No. Watch and learn, horse-face." Connie snickers with a crafty smile etched onto his face, and swaggered towards Mr. Ackerman. Who was standing in the front of the classroom going through his paperwork on his desk.

Oh, lord. What the hell is he up to now.

Eren tilted his head from his textbook, to Connie in front of the classroom. He let out a low chuckle as he took notice of Connie taking out a dollar bill from his back pocket, and then smoothly sliding the bill onto Mr. Ackerman's desk.

He better not be doing what I'm thinking... is he trying to bribe the teacher? PLEASE.

"How about I... don't take the test today?" Connie purred with a big grin. The piercing look Mr. Ackerman gave baldie, could basically paralyze anyone on the spot. It even frightened you.

"Get your dumb-ass back into your seat, I don't condone bribery. And this is a dollar, Springer." Mr. Ackerman was about done with Connie's bull-shit.

"But, AREN'T YOU GUYS UNDERPAID?!"

...

Yeah, Connie got kicked out of class after that.

...

After a good ten-minutes, everyone was quiet and focused on their test in front of them. You knew you shouldn't be meddling in other people's business, especially since you'll look so suspicious if the teacher caught your wandering eyes, but your curiosity got the better of you.

You peeked to the right, over your arm at Jean first.

He was purely focused, and absorbed on his test out in front of him. One side of his face resting on his palm, and strands of his grown-out hair were tucked behind his ear to avoid getting in the way of his view.

You didn't want to admit it but, it was honestly cute to you… seeing a different side of him instead of his usual cocky self. He made a little smile grow on your lips.

Your eyes then blinked to the left, over at Eren. Everyone had less than an hour to complete the test, but somehow, Eren simply got up to turn his test in after... fifteen-minutes.

Huh? The dumb-ass probably guessed on every question...

-

Lunch went by in a flash. Mikasa was worried sick about you the whole time since you missed school yesterday, due to the stupid circumstances that happened at the party.

She wanted—no in her words, she needed to get her hands on Reiner for what he almost did to you. She kept on blaming herself, saying she should've never left you all alone at the party. Her voice was coated in pity towards you, and you hated it.

None of it was Mikasa's fault. If only you used your literal brain and remembered to never take a drink from a hot—scratch that, UGLY STRANGER...You wouldn't be in this position right now.

Anyways, where the fuck is Reiner?

The bastard wasn't anywhere to be found.

-

8𝘁𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗱,

𝗘𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗰𝘀

One class with Eren Yeager is enough, right?

But no, let's make it two!

All seats had asses sitting on them, except the desk by Eren. You really didn't want to place yourself next to the douche, but you had no other choice. It was either the floor, or the seat by Eren in the back of the classroom.

Floor it is! Just kidding...ugh.

Eren gave you an eye roll in disgust as he watched you stepping closer and closer to his presence. You tried to ignore his face by pretending he wasn't there as you then sat down on the seat next to him.

"Why?" Eren asked all annoyed, even though he clearly knew there wasn't any other seats besides the one next to his. You cross your legs, and turn to him with a scowl.

"Because, all the other seats are taken. Get over yourself," You answer.

Eren leaned close to your ear, and whispered: "There's a lotta room on the floor." You felt his mischievous grin grow within his voice.

"Then you go sit on the floor." You pushed him away and shoot back a sarcastic smile. He went quiet, and turned away to read the opened textbook he had out in front of him.

You could tell Eren was trying so hard to stay awake. It was quite amusing. His hair was fully down this time, rather than tossed up into a messy bun. And the dark shade under his eyes made it very evident he was sleep deprived.

His black hoodie had: 'Antisocial-social club' plastered on the back of the sweater.

Pfft.

Yeah, you had to fight back the laughter, but a few chuckles still escaped your mouth and Eren caught them by returning a look at you.

"Something funny?" He cocked a brow.

"Yup, those dark circles really compliment your eyes." You cackle as Eren then narrowed his eyes on you, trying to throw daggers with his oh sooo ominous look.

"Your first grade will be a presentation. You and the person you're seated next to must prepare a presentation for chapter one. You will be presenting on Monday." The male teacher with broad shoulders who was basically IDENTICAL to Captain America announced to the whole class.

Why are all the teachers here either hot Milfs, or Dilfs. I mean... I'm definitely not complaining.

You turned over to Eren who was currently on the verge of falling asleep. He sent you a dirty side glance because he knew you were deviously smirking towards him.

"I'm sorry, did I disturb your slumber?" You sulk sardonically.

"Your presence alone is a mistake."

"anddd I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that... We can work at my place by the way." You suggested

"Why, so you can bury me alive in your backyard? No thanks. We can work at my place." Eren remarked, but you really didn't care cause your house was by his anyways.

"Fine by me, I don't want you contaminating my house anyways." You grinned.

"Be there at five-am." Eren spoke like that wasn't EARLY at all.

What crack is he on?

"Tomorrow's Saturday. Normal people, like me, sleep in on the weekends, Eren."

"Okay? Well I guess I'm not normal."

This GUY. Enough is enough.

"Clearly. You must be some extraterrestrial creature who doesn't need to sleep. Should I call Area 51? Or are you gonna turn yourself in?"

Making fun of Eren was something you were very good at. You could tease him all day...actually, no. Why waste your time on a moron like him?

"Look, unlike you, I have shit to do. I start off my day early." Eren conferred, playing with the stool he was sitting on as he faced you. Tilting back like he was asking to fall off from his seat.

"Well, I start my day right. We can meet at three-pm!" Your words were supposed to be the last and final sentence for this little argument. But the dick still wouldn't agree with you.

"Can't, Y/n."

"Why? Is your UFO scheduled to pick you up and take you back to Mars for lunch?"

"Haha, very funny. And no, I have a boxing tournament."

Oh? He boxes...

"Fine, how about seven-pm?" Now THAT was your final suggestion, you couldn't take it anymore.

"Nah. My place. Five-am. Final." Eren crisply stated. Before you could open your mouth to interject, Eren got up and left the classroom as soon as the school bell went off.

I'm officially jumping off a cliff! I'll see you in heaven, mom.

-

𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴,

5:30 𝗮𝗺

You set your alarm for four-thirty last night, but constantly smacked the snooze button a bunch. So as a result, you're about an hour late to your study-fest with the jerk.

"SO. FUCKING. TIRED. Resist the urge to go back to sleep, Y/n!" You gave yourself a pep-talk before you yanked yourself out of bed, and threw on an oversized grey sweatshirt. Pairing the top with regular Jean-shorts.

You desperately needed coffee, but there was literally no time for that.

You know what? Screw Eren. I'm making a cup of my caffeine.

Uh... Okay! Never-mind! You actually had some time to chug on some overly sweet caffeine you made in a hurry. Then afterwards, you finally rushed out your front door towards Eren's place. No like, you literally sprinted like a track star.

After a couple of rhythmic knocks on the ass-holes front door, it finally decided to open. You were in the midst of catching your breath though, because of your sprinting. But you lost more of your breath when you see Eren's appearance in front of you.

What the fuck. It's like...5:30 in the morning? And he doesn't look tired at all?? This shit isn't fair at all.

He was only wearing a white hoodie with grey joggers, yet he still looked like he was about to shoot an ad campaign for some big clothing brand. Every move he makes looks like a magazine pose. God has favorites.

"You done checking me out? Or are you actually coming in?" You could hear a visible smirk in his tone of voice. He needs to keep his ego in check, because you were definitely not checking him out...

Okay, maybe a little.

You shoved past his shoulder in aggravation, and Eren closed the door behind you. He followed you just wandering off like his house was your own.

"So, where's Mikasa. I need to give her a morning kiss." You propose, eyeing your surroundings.

Everything was colorless like how you remembered. Either white, black, or grey. His house was lifeless, for what? Everything look and felt.. sad.

Maybe it has to do with his...

"I didn't know you go both ways." Eren caught up to you and turned to you with perplexity written on his face.

"Yeah, I do. Mikasa was my first." You joked, but it startled Eren. It was like jealousy covered his whole aura. Which was a sight for you to favor.

"What? Are you serious?" He interrogated.

He's so stupid.

"No, Eren. I'm only kidd- OW!"

You tripped, on his fucking rug. You wanted to die, right then and there. This is why you hated waking up early, because you would never be fully awake.

Eren rolls his eyes, but you don't miss the small chuckle he tried to hide under his breath. Instead of helping you up, he took in the view of your body on his floor.

"My floor doesn't deserve such treatment." He taunted, Eren found the perfect moment to make fun of you. This is why you hate ~men~.

You helped yourself up, and brushed off the dust from his dusty floor that was caught on your knees. You really made the wrong decision to wear shorts, because you then felt a painful cut on your kneecap. But you ignored it.

"Fun fact, Eren. My body wants sleep!" You spoke with excessive excitement, and Eren took it as a jest.

"Fun fact, I don't really care!" He mocked.

"It's going to take at least a billion swear words to satisfy me right now..." You groaned, already tired of the bull-shit that was happening to you.

"And it's going to take me at least a trillion. Stop whining." Eren ordered, and you sent him a fearsome glare.

"Quadrillion!" You pointed your finger in the air, making Eren scoff while he raised a brow at your conclusion.

"Quintillion." He argued.

"Sextrillion." Your sentence faded as you realized how wrong it sounded after the made-up word came out of your mouth.

Eren took that as a chance to cleverly say: "You wanna have sex with me? Don't flatter yourself, I still hate you. But you do know what they say about hate and- never mind."

He cut off his sentence, and just walked away towards his kitchen ahead of him. Leaving you with your jaw dropped.

I- Did he just?! I'm just gonna pretend like he wasn't about to say what I think he was...

"Can you get your ass over here already? The food is going to get cold..." Eren's order echoed from the kitchen.

Food? BREAKFAST?! Omg, yes. But who does he think he is ordering me around like that?

You still accepted his command anyways, and strolled to the kitchen with eagerness since you were starving.

As you entered the huge kitchen that had every appliance made in either marble or stainless steel, You see Eren sitting at the dining table patiently waiting for you.

You guessed a maid had prepared a breakfast table for Eren, since there's no way in hell the guy knew how to cook food like THAT. Scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, fluffy pancakes, and muffins sure do look good when you haven't had anything.

The food smells like heaven...

"Sit." Eren's set of tone was like he had all authority over you.

Okay, why is he speaking to me like I'm a dog?

"Sit." He says once more, and that was enough to annoy you.

"Woof."

"Uh, what the hell Y/n?"

"Woof, woof." You waited till he treated you as a human, instead of ordering you like you were some puppy dog. He sighed and rolled his eyes at your stubbornness.

"Will you please have a seat, Y/n?" Eren finally acted like the gentleman that was deep down inside of him, and you had to applaud for his politeness. You finally took a seat next to Eren.

But Something about eating in front of him made you feel uncomfortable and humiliated. Maybe because you actually eat like a whole pig when you're alone, and now you had to pretend to chew on the food like you were a royal or something.

"Can you actually eat? You need me to look away or something? I get it, I know I'm intimidating."

I swear I will leave a crack on that ego of yours, Yeager.

"Shut up, let a girl savor her food properly. Whore."

You were actually fighting back to devour the whole table though. Eren's menacing eyes never left yours as he took his last bite on his muffin. He then proceeded to leave, and you assumed he wanted you to join him once you were done.

You were actually waiting for his ass to go away... So you ate the entire table when he did. Your pant buttons were on the brink of popping off. You were basically pregnant from the food.

𝗔 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿....

You couldn't find your way to Eren's room, since his huge house was literally a maze. You assumed that you were currently at the office room since there was a bunch of paperwork and Apple computers in each corner.

What caught your eye though, were pictures.

You were looking at family pictures scattered around a wall in the room. Eren, Mikasa, and an older woman? The frames took up most of the space.

The resemblance between Eren and the woman was uncanny, you knew she had to be his mother. You couldn't even describe her beauty, Eren definitely got his eyes from his beautiful mother.

They all look so... happy.

You spot a few baby pictures of Eren, and damn how he was one ugly toddler. He still looks the same...Yup, no glow up whatsoever.

While your eyes were scanning through each memory in a frame, you also notice a small Polaroid picture laying on a desk.

What's this?

You glanced down, and picked up the small photo gently. When you were examining the picture, You saw something you actually hadn't really seen yet; Eren smiling beside his mother.

It wasn't his usual condescending and devilish smile. No emotion was forced, he looked innocent, pure, and genuine. The light left Eren's emerald pupils in his current state. You wished you met Eren before he went all dark and-

"What are you doing?" A deep cold voice interrupted your snooping.

Oh shit.

Eren stood five-feet away from you with his arms folded over his chest, eyeing you skeptically.

Instead of waiting for you to explain yourself, he took your silence as being guilty right on the scene, and trudged like a threat towards your motionless self.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" He says once more, and your face goes blank. He was centimeters away from you, and you were desperately praying he wouldn't see the Polaroid that was still stuck on your fingertips.

lol I want to disappear.

"Err, I got lost in this big ass house of yours." You admit, looking into Eren's narrowed eyes which were still dreadfully studying you. His pupils then moved lower and lower until they came across what they were examining for.

"Oh, really? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were snooping around." He says as he caught the Polaroid in your hand, and arched a brow from the view. You knew what he was looking at, so you had to come up with an excuse.

"Oh this?" You finally lifted up the picture at his gaze. "This just... fell." Yeah, that was the best you could come with, and Eren didn't take it as an honest confession.

"It just fell? Sheesh, some people's kids I tell ya." He snatched the Polaroid out of your fingertips, and feathered away towards his bedroom with a gusty sigh.

I- I'm so stupid...

-

Thirty minutes passed by and you were sitting on top of Eren's master bed, immersed in your Economic book you had out on your lap. While you were doing that, Eren was twisting himself on his twisty chair across the room like an idiot.

Are you kidding me, did he even do anything for this past hour?

You had to scold him. So you groaned and pushed yourself off of his bed, strutting towards the idiot who was still trying to make himself dizzy from the constant spinning on that stupid chair of his.

"Ahem." You stopped the spinning with a touch of your hand, and Eren glowered into your eyes like a little child.

"Can I help you?" He peered above at you standing before him with your hands placed on your hips, and your brows knitted together.

"I want you to stop REVOLVING dipshit, and get to actual work instead." You demanded, and a sinister smile makes it's way to his lips from your anger.

{𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗟𝗬 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱| 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝘁 - 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗲𝘅}

He boosted himself off of his chair, and started walking towards you, "I am done." He said with a cocky smirk. You were backing away as he kept drawing near and near with each step towards your presence.

"You can't write an entire presentation in thirty minutes..." You counter, and you didn't notice how your back-tracking from Eren, ended up with you falling back onto his bed.

Eren took that as an opportunity to whisper in your ear as he was now on top of you, locking you from escaping with each brawny arm he placed beside each of your shoulders. You sharply inhale the expensive scent attached to his sweatshirt as he leaned towards your ear.

"How about we do something else instead of studying..." Eren's minty breath crazed your lobe.

His towering body was dangerously close to yours, but you couldn't just let him tease you like that. Two can play the same game.

Idiot.

You grab his arms before kicking Eren off of yourself, and rolling him over to the position you were in seconds ago. You were now on top of him, gripping his wrists above his head.

He was completely stunned from your quick action. It was way too hot for him, no literally, he was sweating beneath his hoodie. You stared into his sinful eyes.

"Eren, I get it, I turn you on. But please control yourself, I need to get an A on this presentation." You purred slyly, then got off of his groin and stepped back before you could feel his dick go all hard from you.

Eren chuckled, lifting his upper body up to face your cunning self. Everything escalated so fast, but you had no problem with it. You knew how to handle situations like those, to avoid your lust and instead use your brain.

You stood there smirking.

And he sat on his bed, trying to hide his loss of breath.

"We're out of time, Eren. Thanks to you... I have to go now, and I suggest you actually memorize your part for the presentation. This is for a grade. I know we don't exactly like each other, but don't risk a grade for us, please."

𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃- Little does she know I have a fucking photographic memory.....wait, is her knee bleeding?

Before you grabbed your belongings to head out of his room, Eren stopped you. You turn around to see Eren eyeing your... legs?

"Wait, Y/n. Your knee, it's bleeding." Eren softly murmured. It was hard for you to believe he actually cared for something like that.

"It's not a big deal, it's just a cut. From when I tripped earlier... It's no big deal, really. And it's not your problem either. You don't have to act like you care, I won't sue you." A chuckle left your mouth, but Eren looked serious, like, a bit too serious.

He returned an eye roll and an exasperated sigh from your utterance, lifting himself off the bed to walk towards you.

"You are so infuriating, come here." Eren took your hand and led you to the bathroom across his room; You didn't really have a choice to deny his care.

You hoisted yourself on top of his marbled bathroom countertop. Eren took out his hair tie to put his hair up into a fresh messy bun. He was deep in thought, trying to figure out what to do with that cut of yours.

He looks really cute when he's serious... wait, no. don't fall for the sweet act, Y/n.

Eren throws you a disapproving look when he catches you smirking at him. Your cheeks were tinted crimson and that also annoyed Eren.

"This is really... unnecessary, Eren."

"Shut up."

"I- How can I when you're playing nurse? Do you think I could also have some milk and cookies?" You teased, and Eren gives you a look of pure hatred, causing you to stop giggling.

"Don't push it." He sternly spoke with a sigh.

Damn, why so serious?

Eren left the bathroom for about two-minutes, and then returned momentarily with some bandages, wipes, cotton, and Neosporin.

"Woah. Hey, Meredith Grey, it's just a damn cut." Eren ignored you, and crouched towards your knees. He used a small antiseptic towel to clean the cut. Eren was so fixated on your injury— it was almost as if nothing could distract him.

He had an oddly delicate and gentle touch when he was cleaning your cut; it was almost comforting. Eren bit his lips in frustration when he realized he was out of antiseptics. He actually looked....kinda cute to you when he was frustrated.

After a minute, he finally covered up your cut with a bandage. You exerted from his countertop, trying so hard to hide your flustered cheeks.

"Um. Thanks, Eren." It was so awkward for you to thank him for some reason.

"Whatever." He replied without a care.

Weird, didn't you just go out of your way to heal my little cut Eren? Don't act like you don't care now.

"Anddd you ruined the moment... Don't forget to memorize your part of the presentation!" You give Eren a little salute as a goodbye, leaving before you could see the little smile that you made him form on his lips.

A rare smile.

As you quickly exited Eren's house, you crashed into someone trying to enter it. A certain blonde to be precise, and you just so happened to recognize that blonde—It's the girl who's always with Eren.

You wondered if Historia and Eren were seeing each other. Not that it was any of your business, but the thought has been lingering in your mind for a while. She is absolutely gorgeous, the blonde looked like one of those models you would see on those sport illustrated magazines.

Historia analyzed you from bottom to top. You couldn't tell whether she liked what she saw, or not. Because her face showed no sign of emotion.

"You must be the girlfriend." You broke the awkward silence with the one question you needed an answer for—for some reason.

"Ew, no. I'm just a friend, and you are?" She questioned with a little sass.

Hmmm a friend, that's what they all say...

"Econ project." You answered.

Historia makes eye contact with you once again. The silence between you and her was unbearably uncomfortable. You needed to get out of her way...

"Yeah, uh it's nice meeting you!" You say with a warm smile, the corners of her lips lifted a bit as you brushed past her.

"Likewise....."

-

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁

9:00 𝗽𝗺

You were in your bedroom, fighting over a spring-roll with your brother because it was the last one. And, like, you had to have it because you're a fat-ass.

"I'm eating it, it's mine. Back the fuck off, Noah."

"Shut your fat-ass up, you're the one who literally ate the whole box, so let me at least have the last one."

"Wanna half it?" You suggest, because it was pointless to argue with a dimwit like Noah.

"Fine, deal."

You were sitting by your bedroom window, sharing a spring-roll with your annoying brother. You turned your head over to the window beside you which gave you a full view of Eren's house. But what caught your eye, was an unfamiliar red corvette parked across from Eren's place. The car was shiny and classic, definitely your type.

Guess who stepped out of the car though?

Jean fucking Kirstein. Leaning on his corvette as he waited for... someone to come out of Eren's place?

What the hell was he doing outside of Eren's house?

....

"Connie, hurry your ass up. Why are you at Eren's place anyways?" Jean questioned Connie as he saw him trying to catch his breath.

"What??? Don't bring me in your little situation with Eren. I was practicing the drums with Armin and him."

"Whatever, and what are you wearing? I told you to wear something discreet. What part of a Cookie Monster onesie is discreet?" Jean was completely mortified.

"Okay? You're wearing camo." Connie tried to defend his beloved Cookie Monster onesie.

"Thanks for the observation idiot. The goal of camo is to hide from people. And guess what Cookie Monster, we can't afford to be seen tonight." Jean rolled his eyes.

"I'm a ninja, dude. Don't worry about me, I'll blend in with the night." Connie tried to give some hope to Jean.

"Fine, fine, fine. Do you have the spray can bottles?" Jean asks Baldie with a crafty smile.

"Yeah, everything is in my Jeep."

"Great. Showtime. The mother-fucker is going to pay for what he tried to pull with Y/n....."

....

"Where are tweedle dee and tweedle dum going out this late dressed like that?" You were baffled, especially because Connie was wearing a whole Cookie Monster onesie...

"I don't know, but they look like they don't want to be followed." Noah shrugged in front of you.

Noah gave you a look, and you gave him the same expression. Twin-telepathy, except you and him weren't twins. But you both were thinking the same exact thing...

"In the mood for some snooping, lil bro?"

"Say less. Get the keys."

"On it, Sherlock!"

Tailing Jean and Connie....What could possibly go wrong?

_______________________________________________

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗝𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝘁𝗼?

𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗡𝗼𝗮𝗵 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁?

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗻..

Next on Complicated- Things heat up between You, Eren, and Jean. But everything complicates when Reiner becomes your foe.

[therapardalis]

rpmemes-galore​:

the last of us … sentence starters

[Cut for length.]

“Pffft, that’s stupid.“

“Man, you hit hard.“

“Endure and survive.”

“None of that is on you.“

“Okay, don’t be a dick…“

“You’d just come after her.”

“Holy shit. We actually made it.“

“There is no other choice here.“

“You have no idea what loss is.“

“You listen to me, you little shit…“

“I’m scared of ending up alone…”

“Come on. Make this easy for me.“

“Yeah, well, I was trying to kill you.“

“I shot the hell out of that guy, huh?“

“How is it that you’re never scared?“

“I’m scared of that happening to me.“

“But, man… you can’t deny that view.”

“They’ve been gone a long, long time.“

“We’re not murderers. We just survive.“

“I will not turn into one of those things.“

“Well, is that everything you hoped for?“

“It’s called luck. And it is gonna run out.”

“Our luck had to run out sooner or later.“

“I could give two shits what you’re up to.“

“What are we doing here? This is not us.“

“I struggled for a long time with surviving.”

“They sacrifice the few to save the many.“

“Do I need to remind you what is out there?“

“I’m just saying, I’m glad you’re on my side.“

“Just take it easy. Drugs are still wearing off.“

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that bullshit.“

“You see? Everything happens for a reason.“

“I’m not going anywhere. This is my last stop.“

“You’re treading on some mighty thin ice here.“

“Yeah, well, just try not to let your guard down.“

“That was plan A, B, C, all the way to fucking Z!”

“You’re gonna be really happy you didn’t kill me.“

“(Name) saw the world one way, I saw the other.“

“I’m sure your ‘friend’ will be missing this tonight.“

“Why didn’t you just hang back like I told you to?“

“Still trying to save the world? Good luck with that.“

“I pretty much lost everything. And then you show up.”

“I’m so tired. I’m exhausted and I just want this to end.”

“Hold your horses, I wanna see what the fuss is about.“

“No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for.“

“Ssh, ssh! It’s okay! It’s me, it’s me! Look, look… it’s me.“

“Hearing them talk, it’s good to know they’re scared of you.“

“Well, I guess we’re both disappointed with each other then.“

“Swear to me… swear to me that everything you said is true.”

“Y'know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together.“

“I’m getting you outta here, girl. I got you… I got you. Come on.”

“I guess no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape your past.“

“Now, I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but it’s — “

“Guess what, we’re shitty people. It’s been that way for a long time.”

“And just so we’re clear about back there… It was either him or me.“

“You wanna know the best thing about my job? I don’t gotta know why.“

“You’re right. You’re not my daughter… and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.”

“Running off like that, putting yourself at risk… it’s pretty goddamn stupid.”

“And in this world, that sort of shit’s good for one thing… getting you killed.“

“Okay, first of all, we’re a team now, okay? We’re gonna help each other out.“

“Listen to me, if I get in trouble down there, you make every shot count. Yeah?”

“Whoa! How the…? How the hell would you even walk around with that thing?“

“After all we’ve been through, everything that I’ve done… It can’t be for nothing.”

“So you know what I did? I wisened the fuck up. And I realized it’s gotta be just me.“

“I can’t imagine losing someone you love like that. Losing everything that you know.“

“Everyone I have cared for has either died, or left me. Everyone — fucking except for you!“

“You know, as bad as those things are, at least they’re predictable. It’s the normal people that scare me.“

“I get it. But, whatever it is you think you’re going through right now is nothing to what I have been through.“

“Really? Just gonna leave me hanging? All right. I see how it is. It’s just a high-five. It takes like 5 seconds.”

“Is this really all they had to worry about? Boys, movies… deciding which shirt goes with which skirt? It’s bizarre.“

“You know what? No. How about ‘Hey, I know it wasn’t easy, but it was either him or me, thanks for saving my ass.’ You got anything like that for me?”

“Everyone I have cared for has either died, or left me. Everyone — fucking except for you! So don’t tell me I would be safer with somebody else, because the truth is, I would just be more scared.”

[ragingbookdragon]

You Light The Spark In My Bonfire Heart

Kyle Rayner x Batbro One-Shot

Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: I HAVEN'T HAD ANY WIFI ALL DAY BUT NOW I DO AND this is my new obsession and pair and you can tear it from my cold dead hands. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Kyle had an easy morning routine: get up, eat breakfast, brush teeth, workout, shower, drink protein shake, and draw. It was simple and effective, and helped him maintain a sense of normalcy that he didn’t always have when he was up in space. He typically started out with sketching small things, mostly faces and limbs from memory, the occasional suit redesign, then he’d get into the bigger works, drawing comic panels and the commissions he had. And while Kyle loved to be up in space, to be a Green Lantern, drawing felt like coming home to him, like it was the natural state. That being said, he didn’t love being interrupted when he was in the middle of something important—it was bad for the groove.

***

As the second round of knocking sounded on his door, Kyle grunted and stood from his desk, padding through the hallway to his front door; he flicked the lock and pulled open the door, surprise etching across his face when he saw the eldest Wayne leaning against the door frame—rather cockily, Kyle added, because the soldier’s arm was propped on the frame, the other stuck in the side-pocket of his dark tactical bomber jacket.

“Good morning, Kyle,” he greeted with a smirk. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

The Lantern blinked, shaking his head. “Uh, no, you’re not, (Y/N).” he looked at him. “What are you doing here?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Had some business to take care of for my dad, and since I was in the area, I figured I’d drop by and see if you wanted to get some lunch with me.”

Kyle took a moment to lean out the doorway slightly, looking down the stretched hallway. “How’d you know where I live?”

“Please, a magician never reveals his secrets,” he deflected coolly, gazing at Kyle. “What do you say? Wanna get some lunch? I know a really good sports bar that serves great food.”

He looked back at (Y/N) and smiled. “Yeah. Let me go get dressed.”

The soldier merely winked in return and with fumbling hands, Kyle managed to shut the door before his cheeks burst into flames, hurrying back to his bedroom to pull together an outfit that would impress the man.

***

Kyle almost dropped to his knees when he saw the car parked outside his apartment building, and (Y/N) knew it too, because he chirped, “Gorgeous, isn’t she?”

He nodded dumbly. “Is this a McLaren 720S?”

“Mhm.” He opened the doors and slid into the driver’s seat, looking through the passenger door. “Coming?”

“Am I ever,” Kyle breathed, climbing into the seat, immediately running his hands along the dashboard and seat. “I’m in love.”

“Wait till you hear her purr,” (Y/N) said, closing the doors, and pushing the ignition. The sports car roared to life and he grinned at the way Kyle’s face melted. “Yeah, she’s a beauty.” He put the car in drive and looked through the side mirror, then pulled out onto the street.

“Is this one of your dad’s cars?”

“Nah, I bought this for myself a couple months ago.” He pulled the sunglasses from his t-shirt and put them on. “This and an Audi TT.”

Kyle huffed a laugh. “Jesus, you billionaires live it up, don’t you?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Hey, I live life in the fast lane. Might as well drive in it too.” He pushed a button on the touch screen and music filtered through the speakers, and Kyle’s face pinched in confusion. “What?”

“This isn’t—James Blunt isn’t the music I figured you’d play.”

“What’d you think I’d be listening too? Rock?” he chuckled, turning the volume down a bit. “Don’t get me wrong, I listen to all kinds of rock music, but I figured you’d want something easy rather than head-bang your brains out rock.” (Y/N) stopped at a red light and glanced over. “You can look through the artists on my phone if you want.”

Kyle shook his head, relaxing into the seat as the melody flowed through him. “No, I like this artist.” The soldier merely smiled in return, pressing the gas pedal again, and Kyle suddenly remembered something. “Speaking of artist, I saw the canvas in your bedroom the other day. Do you draw?”

(Y/N) hummed. “Not like you. It’s more of a pastime than a lifestyle.”

“You’re good at it. You’re painting your family in their suits. Details and designs included.” The artist regarded him with impression. “That takes skill.”

“I’d like to think I just have a steady hand and a lot of patience for stressful tasks.” (Y/N) turned the wheel, coming up behind a line of cars. “It’s an easy way for me to relax and mentally run through past events.”

“Like what?” Kyle questioned curiously.

(Y/N)’s eyes narrowed, but not in a loathing way, more of a thoughtful one. “Missions, conversations, things I could’ve done differently, things I will do differently.” He shrugged again. “Painting for me is just a time when I think about everything and nothing.”

“Well, you’re great at it, (Y/N).”

He snorted. “It’s just a bunch of paintings of my family and friends and military shit.”

Kyle blinked and leaned over. “Wait, is that painting in the den—”

“The one of the F-18 Super Hornet?”

“Yeah. You painted that?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Yep. I got Hal Jordan to take me up in one a few years ago and decided to commemorate the trip.”

“Wow,” the Lantern breathed. “I stared at that canvas for at least an hour the first time I saw it. I was just so blown away by how amazing it was.” He chuckled and shook his head. “And to find out, you drew it and not some world-famous painter.”

“Hey, I could be world famous if I wanted.” (Y/N) shot back, turning onto a less busy backstreet. “I just choose to retain my talents for family and friends.”

“Because of your job?”

“That too.” He agreed. “My squad and I take careful precautions to avoid our faces being seen during any missions for the safety of our families.” His face turned as solemn as his voice. “We do what we do to make the world safer. To keep our families and friends safe. It’s imperative that we’re not seen.”

Kyle cocked a brow. “But you’re Bruce Wayne’s son?”

“I am,” he nodded. “But I’m not as…out as the rest of my siblings. You’d be able to recognize them from press photos, but me not so much.” (Y/N) pulled into a parking spot outside the bar. “People only recognize me when they see the name on the credit cards. And I prefer to keep it that way.” A goofy smile crossed his lips. “The high life isn’t for me.”

“Says the man that drives a 710 horsepower sports car.” Kyle shot back with a grin of his own and (Y/N) stuck his tongue out as he turned the car off and opened the doors.

“Okay, I’m not actively in the high life but that doesn’t mean I don’t like luxury.” He closed the car doors and opened the front door to the bar for Kyle. “After you.”

“Thank you.” He replied, and walked inside, only stopping to turn and ask, “Do you want to sit at the bar or a table?”

(Y/N) tipped his head to the side. “I’m down with both, but I like the bar more.”

“Bar it is,” Kyle said and slid into one of the chairs, (Y/N) the other, and an older man wandered over.

“Well, I’ll be damned, is that (Y/N) Wayne I see?”

He turned, expression morphing into joy as he reached out and shook the older man’s hand. “Jack, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you son. How’ve you been?”

“Ah, you know me, sir. Nothin’ changing but the weather.”

Jack snorted. “And the desert where you dig sand outta your ass.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Damn straight.” He looked at Kyle. “Kyle, I’d like you to meet Jack Dagher. He’s an old CO of mine.”

Kyle shook the man’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“It’s all mine,” Jack replied. “It’s been a while since (Y/N) brought anybody here.”

At that, Kyle turned to the soldier who was busy looking anywhere but his face. “Is that so?”

“Oh yeah. Sonovabitch doesn’t bring his dates here unless he really likes ‘em.”

(Y/N) coughed, glaring at the man. “Alright, we get it. Aren’t you supposed to be taking orders?”

Jack gave him a smug look in return. “What can I get you boys to drink?”

“I’ll take a beer,” Kyle said, and Jack rolled his eyes.

“No shit, kid. What kind?”

(Y/N) snickered as Kyle flushed. “Uh, a Heineken.”

Jack sighed. “And he had such potential. (Y/N)?”

“Gimme a strawberry daiquiri then water after.”

“Still ordering fruity drinks, huh?”

“Hey, they get you drunk faster than horse piss does, you old fart.” He shot back and the old man chuckled.

“Touché.” He slapped the bar. “I’ll bring those to you with an order of chili fries.”

“Thanks Jack,” (Y/N) smiled, watching the man walk off before turning to Kyle who was watching one of the baseball games. “You like sports?”

He tipped his head side to side. “I don’t not like them. I was never a sporty kid in school, but I like watching them.” He looked at the solider. “What were you like in school? Jock or prep?”

“Probably a bit of both,” he answered. “I played sports and had the highest grades.” Shrugging, he added, “And being a Wayne boosted me into the top tier of schools, so, there’s that. To be honest, I think all of us Wayne kids were and are a mixture of every stereotypical category.”

“I can see that,” Kyle laughed. “Especially with Jason and Dick.”

“Shit, I was talking about Timmy.” (Y/N) said. “That kid’s a grade A nerd.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

The two of them laughed and a woman placed their drinks in front of them, both giving their thanks as they took sips.

“Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?”

“My muscles are one hundred percent real. Especially my abs. Which you’re allowed to feel on in envy if you want.”

Kyle snorted into his beer, wiping his mouth. “No!” a few more chuckles passed his lips as he wiped the bar. “Are you…you know…?”

“A Leo?” (Y/N) offered with a smile, but his eyes told Kyle he knew exactly what the Lantern was asking, and he said, “I like the liquor, but I don’t care what label it has on it.”

The other man smiled. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“But if you want the technical term, I am pansexual.” He regarded Kyle a moment. “You?”

“Bisexual.”

His lips pulled in an impressed fashion. “Pretty fly for a bi guy.”

Kyle gaped at him for a moment, then shoved (Y/N) in the side as he buried his face in his arms and laughed. “You’re so stupid.”

“Ah thank you,” he grinned. “I get it from my old man.”

“You,” he cut himself off with a cackle. “do not get that from him.”

“Look, you know the big man in the suit. You don’t know the complete goober we live with,” (Y/N) chuckled, smiling at the waitress who placed menus in front of them; he picked his up and flipped through it.

“What do you recommend?”

“Hmm…anything with bacon on it.” He showed the menu. “If you like salads, get the steak and blue cheese one, it’s fantastic. Or if you’re more into tacos, they’ve got these awesome shrimp carnitas with chili peppers.”

Kyle’s brows furrowed as he looked the menu over. “What are you gonna get?”

“My usual. Tomahawk steak with garlic butter and mashed potatoes.” (Y/N) groaned and rested his head back. “I haven’t had a good steak in months, and I can just taste it already.”

“So, you’re a meat and potatoes kind of man?”

He grinned, keeping his eyes closed. “Unlike the cup noodle and Hawaiian roll man beside me.”

“Ouch. Hit me where it hurts.”

“C’mon Kyle, hit me with your best shot.”

“Better watch it, (Y/N),” he grinned. “You might be the next notch in my pencil case.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

***

“Holy crap,” Kyle breathed, hands resting lightly on his stomach. “I’m stuffed.”

(Y/N) moaned. “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”

“Done?” their waitress laughed. “You haven’t even finished your desserts yet!”

“Oh God, don’t make me,” the Lantern whined. “I’ll explode.” He looked over. “(Y/N), take one for the team.”

“Pass,” he replied. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds just looking at the rest of the cheesecake.”

The woman laughed. “I’ll wrap the leftovers for you boys.” She wandered off, leaving them alone, and a blaring ringtone filled the space between.

(Y/N) jumped a little, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Do you mind if I get this really quick?”

Kyle shook his head. “Go ahead.”

He slid his thumb along the bottom and rested the phone on the bar. “This is Wayne.”

Captain! Finally. I’ve been texting you all afternoon.

“I know,” he snorted. “I’ve been ignoring it.”

Yeah well, the longer you ignore me the slower it takes for the radar dish to get replaced.

“What are you talking about?” (Y/N) asked. “I thought you’d procured one.”

I did. Then the buyer told me I wasn’t registered for official military hardware.

He frowned. “That’s odd. You did contact Thomas, right?”

Yeah. Beady eyed looking motherfucker who serves on the George Washington, right?

“That’s him.” (Y/N) hummed. “Tell you what, I’ll call him later this evening and get it all sorted out, yeah?”

Sounds good. Hey, did you take that guy out yet? Your little brother won’t stop texting me about some twinkie you’re into.”

(Y/N) froze as he felt Kyle’s eyes drilling into the side of his head and he stuttered, “Uh, Nadeen, now’s not the best time.”

What do you mean best—oh…ohhhhhh. I, uh, I gotta go, Captain.

“Yep. Bye.” He locked the phone and shoved it back into his pocket, refusing to meet Kyle’s eyes. “So…you catch the baseball game?”

“Which one of your brother’s thinks I’m a twink?” Kyle asked. “Wait, don’t tell me. It’s Jason, isn’t it?” he grunted in his throat, deadpanning, “I can’t believe my best friend thinks I’m a twink.”

“It’s Dick, actually.” (Y/N) grinned, turning to face him and he reached over, pinching Kyle’s cheek. “It’s just ‘cause you’re so cute and perky.”

The Lantern merely glared at him, griping, “I’m not as strong as you, put I can punch pretty hard.”

“Ooo, those are fighting words,” he shot back with a smirk, letting Kyle go. “Careful, I’m ticklish.”

“I feel like I’m talking to Hal.”

(Y/N) whined, all but collapsing onto Kyle who started snickering. “I’ve just been murdered.” He buried his face in Kyle’s shoulder. “Can’t believe I was just compared to Highball. The world must be coming to an end.”

“Oh, come on, you big baby. You’re not dying.”

“I am!” he turned his head, gazing at Kyle. “You’ll have to carry me to safety.”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough to carry you.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I did not say that.”

“You did, but in more words.”

“Alright, now I’m talking to Guy.”

“THAT’S SO MUCH WORSE!”

***

He leaned against the door frame as Kyle unlocked his front door and pushed it open, turning to look at him. “I had a lot of fun today, (Y/N).” he murmured. “Thanks.”

Winking, he replied, “I’m glad you did. I’d like to do it again soon if you want.”

Kyle nodded. “I’d like that.”

They stared at each other for a few moments and (Y/N) smiled, patting the door frame. “Well, I’d better be heading out. Have to get home in time for dinner.” He paused, giving the man a warm look. “Thanks for having lunch with me, Kyle.”

He’d not gotten two feet from the door when Kyle’s hand wrapped around his wrist. “Wait.” He turned and the Lantern leaned forward, pressing his lips to (Y/N)’s cheek. “Be careful on your way back.”

“I will,” he murmured, watching Kyle wave and disappear into his apartment, the door shutting behind him.

[dumb-hat]

Prompt #7: “Pawn” - FFXIV Write 2022

"I just like them more is all!" The boy shrugged and fidgeted with the pieces on the game board that sat between him and his older brother. "Like, I don't get what's so special about the King anyway. He's dumb. The pawns are better."

Lysander furrowed his brow. "It's not about which pieces you like more, Evander. It's about using what you have at your disposal to keep your king safe. Every piece has a part to play in the greater strategy."

"Okay, but... yeah, but... Lysander, if the king dies, I lose, right?" Evander picked the king off the board and held it in one hand, comparing it to the pawn he held in the other.

"I mean, I don't know that I'd say the king dies, but..." Lysander paused while he tried to figure out how to best get the lesson across. Evander's tendencies to overanalyze and personify the things that drew his attention weren't doing him any favors here. "But yes, if you lose your king, then you lose the game. That's why you have to protect the king at all costs. All the other pieces are expendable."

Evander scrunched up his nose, in response, which Lysander had learned long ago meant his little brother had thoughts on the subject at hand, and he wasn't going to let them go unvoiced. "So... that's all he does? He just... dies? And then you lose?"

Lysander Winsome made a straight face. "That's not all he does, Evander."

"Does he get cool moves? Like, can he go anywhere on the board? Can he beat up the other pieces?"

Lysander laughed. And then he sighed. "The king can capture other pieces, sure, but only if that doesn't put him in danger."

"So, the king doesn't just die, but he mostly dies?"

"...Yes." Lysander was pretty sure he didn't like where this was headed. Or rather, he was pretty sure that he liked it a lot, but being the closest thing Evander had to a parental figure, he was even more sure that he wasn't supposed to like it.

"So it kinda sounds to me like the king sucks. He's just there to make you lose. He can't do anything but sit around and get beat up, right?"

Lysander flopped backwards with a groan. "I don't think—" He was almost thankful to be cut off by Koriah's laughter from nearby. It meant he didn't have to figure out what the rest of that sentence was going to be.

"Everyone knows the queen is the best piece anyway. She can go anywhere, do anything, capture anyone. Way better than either the king or the pawns," she teased.

Evander scrunched up his nose again and turned his face up to the Elezen woman as she took a seat right behind his brother and began running her lily-white fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe the man's ego.

"I dunno, Koriah," the boy said, rubbing his thumb along his jaw in imitation of his older brother. "It sounds to me like the queen just does all the king's dirty work. Besides, Lysander said you can turn a pawn into a queen, so like... she's kinda replaceable, right?"

"The boy's got a point, Koriah." Lysander seemed suitably soothed and temporarily smug.

"Does he now, Lysander?" She tousled his hair. "Is the queen replaceable?"

"Hey, she doesn't have to be replaced, you know." Lysander's usually easy grin had gone absolutely shit-eating. "You can just, you know, have multiple queens."

Koriah made a disgusted noise in response. "Careful, maybe the queens just decide they don't need a king, unionize and toss his ass out."

Evander squinted. They were doing that thing where they talked about stuff that they wouldn't want to explain to him. He hated that. "Anyway, the pawns are also better because you get a whole lot of 'em, so it's like they have friends. Friends are way better than, like, a dumb ol' horse, or like, a castle or a church hat or whatever."

Their conversation was cut in twain by a harsh, high whistle from across the warehouse. Shanksy, one of the older boys in the gang waved frantically. "Hey, Lysander. Boss says quit loafing. He wants you to explain the timing on the next shipment."

Lysander rolled over and faced Evander again. "Friends are great, kiddo, but trust me... You don't want to be a pawn. Trust me." He hopped to his feet and let out a long, irritated breath as he made lanky strides toward the man who kept this roof more-or-less over everyone's heads.

A long moment passed between the two who remained before one of them got sick of the silence. "Koriah? Can we play checkers instead?"

The Elezen woman nodded while she put away the chess pieces and started setting colored stones on the board. "Sure thing. Checkers is a little easier to get, isn't it?"

"Yeah... But..." Evander grew quiet. His gaze settled on the bag of chess pieces, then on the makeshift checkers on the board. "I just like it better because everyone's the same in checkers. No one's better than anyone else." ← Previous Prompt |Master Post| Next Prompt →

[crazy56u]

Currently batting two for two in the “Have to watch the new episode after the fact due to work” category, yay for me!

We open in on a pregnant woman in a parking lot.

Ben legitimately almost had a panic attack when face with having to deliver a baby.

The quickest, cleanest baby delivery.

Now if only the rest of the Leap was this easy.

And Addison decided to just rip the bandaid off and say the episode’s title.

If only Ben leap into the grunge scene instead of the ER scene…

I don’t know how to feel about the asshole she’s talking to being a Stephen…

Dr. Turk. …so, basically, this is Scrubs.

“Why are you here past your shift?” “I delivered a baby! :D” “Yeah, get off the high horse, pal…”

“You can’t save everyone.” That moment they telegraph the moral three minutes in.

And as Ben learns he has to save multiple lives, the sound department decides to crank the knockoff Creed!

Nurse Carolina, not to be confused with Nurse Nebraska.

Thank god for that white coat, otherwise Ben would be looking shifty right now.

Annnnnd they ain’t in the system yet, so in about 10… 9… 8…

“Code trauma.” Ding!

What if those two ambulances did a head-on collision just then?

Okay, so question: Why didn’t they have Ben leap in to stop the train crash?

“If they can walk, they can wait. If they are currently standing, fuck ‘em!”

Ben was about to black out then and there.

“Ziggy says there’s a 100% chance all three were on that train!” Tell Ziggy “No shit.” for me.

Okay, not for nothing, but if they said she had shrapnel in her fucking heart, I don’t have high hopes for her…

Watch as Nurse Carolina decides to brush off the fact that the resident, from her perspective, predicted three of the train victims prior to them arriving.

…is Dr. Harper’s first name “Stephen”, by chance?

In the 90s, hospitals were just playgrounds for mad science experiments, I guess…

Ah, so this hospital sucks, glad to know!

Addison, so what if they “didn’t know” Respiratrex was dangerous. People didn’t know Thalidomide was dangerous in the 50s, and look what happened there!

50/50 odds on her survival, glad to know God’s about to flip a coin in this bitch.

Ben’s logic: “Fuck it, I’m a better doctor than Harper, and I’m a time traveler, fuck his paper!”

“If Dr. Harper finds out you changed his script, he’ll Nike your career!” “Dr. Turk, you won’t understand this saying for a couple decades, but ‘YOLO’.”

[Okay, legit, Peacock crashed after I did that.]

…I think she forgot the actual line, and just ad-libbed that “Bold”…

Meanwhile, in 2023, everything is somehow worse!

I still stick to my theory that they locked Janis in a broom closet last week, her being in the interrogation room changes nothing.

I love how Magic is just playing the Sam card right out of the gate, he is done with her shit.

Okay, I half expected Janis to immediately make a break for it once the cuffs came off.

“I wanna talk to Ben, and I don’t care if he’s currently doing hospital resident train crash victim shit.”

“Hey, you, I have a working memory, did you predict there was a train crash?”

It is in my strongest belief that the second Carolina learns of the third victim, she is going to punch Ben in the arm.

Okay, cool, so the episode’s depressing depressing, got it.

Being told you have a concussion is the shittiest way to learn you have a tumor, goddamn…

And Eli just wants to die, okay, what a fun episode to enjoy immediately after a long night of work, yay me…

Oh! Goody! He’s Sandra’s dad!

It feels weird having barely missed the pager era…

“Okay, look, I’ll keep your tumor a secret, you fucking stay put.”

[I just paused. Why are they not showing the right half of Louis’s head?]

[OH FUCK]

“Hey, audience? Tell me? Do I got something on my face?”

Ben must engage in casual chit chat, or Louis will fucking die.

Ben, this is the worst time to forget you are supposed to be a woman…

Okay, cool, one out of three so far…

And so Janis and Jenn get crunk.

About fucking time we remember the cowboy existed…

Again, why didn’t we have Ben try and stop the crash?

Why does it look like Ben is trying to invent Wikipedia?

“Got a patient with a brain tumor?” “Yep, and it ain’t your dad, so don’t worry a thing about it.”

“Man, I sure do have a patient with a break tumor, so, hey, on an unrelated note, wanna talk about your dad?”

So, in other words, Eli is the Saul Goodman of Quantum Leap.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you suck at being a dad, you will create doctors.

Okay, in another life time, Ben is the guy who does the quick side effect reading during medicine commercials.

“Look, I know this drug has bad side effects, but the FDA helped me pay off my car, so I say you’re wrong.”

“Look, I know I can’t prove how I know she has an undiagnosed medical condition, but fuck off.”

I love how Dr. Harper thinks he’s the hero in this story.

Okay, at this point, I hope Dr. Harper slips on a banana peel and falls on his ass.

And there’s the rub: In order to stop the use of a shit drug, a daughter must make amends with her dying father.

“Look, I know I said I’d stay, but fuck it, I’m out.” “Eli, if you leave, the FDA will win!”

I really want to see the “Better Call Saul”-style spin off involving Eli…

“Maybe this cancer is the way the universe wants my story to end.” “Look, I already changed one script today, don’t you worry…”

[Okay, I was joking earlier, Ben legitimately practically told Eli “if you leave, the FDA will win”…]

…and now we have a character being declared brain dead… … …okay, I know that coincidences exist, and I am reading too much into this, but how in the fuck is this the second Quantum Leap story this month I have experienced involving this shit?

Man, Ben, this week just sucks for you…

BOY DO I LOVE HOW LIGHT HEARTED THIS EPISODE IS BEING RIGHT NOW, BOY OH BOY

“Hey, good news, the depressing scene is over!”

Episode, why are you insistent in turning the screws on Ben right now?

Okay, it’s defibrillating time.

Why am I now hearing “How To Save A Life” in the back of my head?

And speaking of depressions going back to baseline!

“Hey, are you psychic, tell me now!” “So, about your dad’s tumor-”

“So, what do you think?” “Man, Jenn, I dunno, this episode’s fucking depressing…” “Magic, I was talking about Janis.”

Is the endgame of Janis’s plot arc just hiring her onto Quantum Leap?

Wait, was Ian even in the episode yet?

Also, calling it now, the dead wife’s gonna be the heart donor.

“FUCK these papers!”

CALLED IT

I choose to believe that this is Ben himself admitting he should’ve been allowed to prevent the train crash.

Now watch as Dr. Harper tries to fuck up the heart transplant…

CALLED IT.

Is Ben about to fist fight Dr. Harper, please god say he is…

“Look, I’m still processing my dad has a tumor-” “TOO BAD, DR. HARPER IS ABOUT TO KILL KIMBERLY”

“FUCK THESE CROWDED HALLWAYS!”

WHAT THE FUCK, BEN?! “Look, if you don’t hear us out about the murder drug, THE IV BAG GETS IT!”

Just fucking saying, Sam Beckett never fucking held a person’s life hostage in order to save the day, so that’s how you know Ben has bigger stones.

Ben got so pissed off with the sexism, he forgot the plot.

“Look, if she had that stupid disease, we’d know by now!” “(practically slaps him in the face with the chart) Bet.”

“…okay, fine, fuck it, use the other drug, I give. Now, just let the IV Bag go.”

Honestly, Ben should’ve been allowed to keep the scalpel, he earned it.

What if Eli already left?

I love how Ben didn’t leap yet, so now he’s chilling in an ambulance.

“What if all of this was for nothing, and I let you down?” Ben, the show got renewed, you’re fine.

Also, calling it now, the situation with Addison is revealed in the season finale.

“Stop being afraid.” “Oh, okay. (leaps)”

“Okay, look, I just got done with helping Ben stop the FDA, so this better be good.”

“Look, I ain’t happy with this situation either, Addison, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with this shit.”

“Tell Ben to shut up, or the Secret Leapers will get us all. Yes, I know this sounds like conspiracy theory bullshit, but I am being legit.”

And now Ben is in the elevator from Speed, I already saw the promo, I know the punchline.

…is Ben in fucking Chernobyl?

So, just to reiterate: Ben defeated the FDA by holding an IV bag hostage, and Janis is a borderline conspiracy theorist.

It is a legitimate crime we have to wait three weeks for the next episode…