#yeah vhbjdsnk

[sanshine]

this is a half vent half "what should i do" ask so sorry for the length,, you dont have to read it all hhh ---

one of my irls is being rly shitty rn. im so angry at her to the point where im considering ignoring her/not being her friend anymore.

basically what happened was she was making some jokes abt my triggers (which ive told her makes me uncomfy quite a few times) and then when i was like "hey what you said made me uncomfy" and "its tiring constantly bringing up how x makes me uncomfy and you always forgetting" later, she got rly defensive, saying things like "you know i have a shit memory" and "i still care but...". and gave a shit ass apology (she said "sorry it bothered u so much" like its my fault?). so when i said that her apology didnt seem genuine, she got rly defensive again and said stuff like "i dont want to walk on eggshells" and "i like to laugh at things that bother me". like 1) im not asking her to walk on eggshells and 2) its hard for me to laugh at things that bother me bc of my trauma, which im pretty sure ive told her abt. AND THEN she fucking played victim ("maybe just once can i please not be given shit for making one mistake").

and to top it off, shes giving me the silent treatment and said "ive just been trying to take a break from talking to my friends as much bc its depressing" when i told her giving me the silent treatment is gna piss me off even more. like?? no??? thats super fucking shitty????

anyways: i dont know what to do anymore. im so so angry at her and im just. tempted to not be her friend anymore. she also usually only talks to me to vent so. im tired of her. should i just? cut her off? shes one of my only three irls and shes the one ive hung out with the longest... shes said im her only friend at our school too so ill feel horrible if i do cut her off... sooo any advice? hhhh im just,,, rly angry and upset im sorry - ian

lmao i dont want to be that person but if she’s pissing you off this much, not respecting your boundaries, only comes to you with her own issues why are you still even talking to her hfjvdnkc

absolutely do not feel horrible if you do cut her off, does she feel horrible about saying those things to you?? does she feel horrible about bothering you all the time? doesn’t seem so to me. if you want to try and save the friendship i think maybe having one serious talk with her could help, but only if you make it clear that you’ve had enough of her behavior and either she realises she’s been acting like a bitch or she’s not worth your time, imo. if you’ee really her only friend and has a few functioning braincells, she’ll realise that she’s about to lose you and if she cares one bit, she’ll try to make a change. 

i actually helped 2 of my friends with a very similar situation, friend A was acting super shitty and moody towards friend B, she’s really been treating the other like shit and friend B always complained to me about it and asked for advice. i basically told her the same thing i just told you and eventually they talked it out because they’ve been friends for a long ass time and still cared for each other, so once friend B told friend A that her actions have been hurtful and annoying and made her not want to talk to her anymore, friend A got kinda... scared? of losing friend B, sincerely apologised for everything, said that she knows she’s a bit too much at times but that she genuinely cares about friend B and that she’ll try to be a better friend from then on. im not exactly sure what happened afterwards or how they’re doing now, but i know talking it out helped them both a lot. 

i also dont want to generalise at all and i dont know your friend, but maybe she’s having some kinda issues herself? thats the only way i can explain her being defensive, maybe she does feel bad about it but doesn’t know how to deal with it and gets defensive as a response? i dont know. my suggestion really is to talk it out with her and see where that goes 💕 and if you do please let me know! <3