#yeah this is the fic i made the self-indulgent edit for

[emily-ispirata]

Fifty years after a broken Gracie left the Gold Coast as a completely ordinary girl, she returns with her granddaughter. Haunted by her memories, she's terrified of what she will find waiting for her. But maybe it's not just the past she'll find there- maybe her future is waiting, too.

[healmydesires]

cross that line ꕤ (l.h)

part two

pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

summary: For a long time, you were content hiding your feelings, but lately, the longing for someone you can’t have has become unbearable. Despite knowing he could never be yours, you still cherished the sweet ache in your heart whenever he smiled or gave you a warm, platonic hug. Then, one day, everything changed.

genre: fluff + angst + smut (18+ mdni)

word count: 14k (14k on the dot to be precise but yeah uhm. sorry. I swear I'm normal)

warnings/tags: friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, thunderstorms, idiots in love, mutual pining, assumed unrequited love, jealous!reader, reader is described as shorter than logan, emotional!reader, miscommunication kinda, inexperienced/virgin!reader, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, piv sex, soft!dom logan, ok… just in overall bye, logan is soft for reader, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation, major size kink, praise kink, dirty talk, oral fixation. some daddy kink? breeding kink aaaaa sorry. I wrote this while ovulating. they’re both FREAKS. scent kink? lots of pet names. this is high key sweet and turns filthy. logan is worshipping his sweet girl ok! reader is a mutant. reader has hair, no further description though. this is not beta read sorry!

a/n: GUESS WHAT!!! user healmydesires is back with another self indulgent fic about a new blorbo! I’ve been having all random kinds of scenarios about logan in my head and I just didn’t know which type of story to go with. until I felt like there weren’t much of inexperienced/virgin reader fics for logan and tbh… that’s kinda my brand (I’m high key kidding but lowkey that’s what I love to write the most) if you’ve read my works so. I thought I’ll write what I WANT to read. so this is high key self indulgent. english isn’t my first language so pls bear with me <3 also ngl.. a lot of it is just smut 😭 I literally wrote this while ovulating… EDIT (19/09): I kinda edited it a bit because it had a lot of grammar mistakes and I'd often jump from present tense to past tense so ye

this goes without saying, but if you don't like it don't read it <3

AO3 • masterlist

Being roommates with your best friend had its perks. You were together almost all the time, sharing both the big and small moments. As fellow teachers, you could easily swap teaching tips, lend each other a hand with tasks, or offer guidance when you were feeling stuck. Your tall best friend effortlessly reached the top shelves, and you both enjoyed laughter-filled moments during movie marathons. Sharing responsibilities became more fun too—splitting chores like cooking and laundry felt easy and natural. Plus, there was comfort in knowing your best friend was always dependable, ready to support you whenever you needed it. And whenever you were in need of a hug, your best friend was probably already ready to envelop you in his warm embrace.

But it also had its disadvantages.

Especially considering that Logan Howlett, your best friend, was quite the menace.

Logan had always had a rugged handsomeness that effortlessly made people swoon all around him. It wasn't fair how pretty he was. He had always been lucky with finding partners—or rather, when it came to finding bed or sexual partners. He'd often bring those one-night stands or partners to your shared apartment only to have sex with them. Logan had never been the type to stick with one person, always preferring flings over long-term relationships. Or so you thought.

You, on the other hand, had always craved a long-term relationship. You dreamed of finding your true love—someone to share adventures with, to have fun with, and to dive into deep, meaningful and random conversations. You loved the idea of being with someone who let you be your true self, where you could spend hours talking about the most random things—discussing your favourite TV shows one minute, and passionately criticising capitalism and the world the next. You were all about affection, from kissing to being held, but you also longed to hold your partner close and make them feel cherished, just as much as you wanted to feel loved in return.

Unfortunately, you had never had the chance to experience anything like that.

It wasn't like you had never had the chance or had the opportunity to explore and possibly experience a potential relationship. You had just never been really interested in creating a relationship with a stranger.

Plus the thing was, your best friend wasn't just your best friend. You had been in love with Logan for god knows how long.

Charles Xavier was the one who had introduced you both, years ago. You remembered that day very vividly.

You had just arrived at the Xavier Institute, and the professor had offered you a two-sided job, to be a teacher at the school and be part of the X-Men.

You'd always done your best to keep your powers hidden, but being welcomed into a school designed for people like you—a mutant—felt incredibly liberating. That's why you hadn't hesitated when Charles Xavier invited you to his school. You'd always known you were powerful, with the ability to control and manipulate water, but you had kept your abilities a secret, not wanting to be treated any differently in a world that didn't really like or understand people like you.

As the professor took you around the grounds, you couldn't help but be impressed by how big and beautiful it all was.

You were so captivated by the mansion's grandeur and stunning architecture that you didn't even notice a guy casually leaning against the nearest wall outside of Charles's office. But the moment your eyes met his, it felt as if time itself stood still. Looking into Logan's eyes, you felt like you could drown in them. You had never seen anyone so effortlessly handsome.

Completely entranced by him, you almost forgot to introduce yourself. Your body heated up in the moment, and the professor definitely noticed. Logan Howlett gave you a knowing smirk, making the warmth inside you intensify even more.

That day you both became friends, though you still didn't quite understand why, given how different you both were. Logan was gruff and blunt, while you, though capable of being direct, tended to choose your words more carefully. He was passionate and strong-willed and opinionated, and sometimes he let that get the best of him. You were deeply in tune with your emotions, while he always seemed to hold back, keeping certain feelings tightly guarded. Logan was never one to be very straightforward with his emotions. He would rather keep most of them to himself, and didn't want to seem too vulnerable. Communication was something you valued and needed a lot, but Logan, by contrast, didn't seem to rely on it as much. You were an overthinker, always caught up in your thoughts, and he would often step in to ease those worries of yours.

You could say that opposites attract.

Over time, your friendship grew, and one day he asked if you'd like to move in with him into a new apartment near the institute. He craved a bit more peace and genuinely enjoyed your company. It seemed like a good idea, so you thought, why not?

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with your roommate. All you knew was that one day, you were suddenly overcome by an emotion so intense, it was unlike anything you'd ever felt before. It hit you all at once. Before Logan, you'd never really had a serious crush, never experienced feelings this powerful for anyone. You often told yourself it must have started shortly after you moved in with him, but deep down, you knew that wasn't the truth. This feeling had been quietly growing from the very first moment you met him, slowly building until it became impossible to ignore.

It was funny, you thought, how life had a way of bringing you things—and people—you never realised you needed. People like Logan, who became so essential that you couldn't help but wonder how you had ever lived without them. People like Logan Howlett, who somehow managed to be both your saving grace and your greatest temptation.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A few months into your roommate arrangement, you still couldn't get used to Logan constantly bringing one-night stands to your shared apartment. It was pure torment.

As you ate cereal at the kitchen island, one of Logan's many one-night stands quietly slipped out of the apartment. You rolled your eyes, as Logan routinely walked them through the apartment to the door, their faces often adorned with sly smiles as they fluttered their eyelashes at him. A knot of anger twisted in your belly as you watched them play with the collar of his shirt, their fingers lingering while he made no move to pull away. You'd never felt such intense rage before. He responded with a grunt as they would casually give him a goodbye kiss.

You hated experiencing feelings like these. It was a gross emotion, a heavy sensation that felt thick and tar-like, clinging to your chest and making you ache with its heavy weight.

Anxiety? Sure, you were often more anxious than most mutants, but that wasn't the feeling you had at this moment. Maybe it was jealousy? You disliked how that emotion fit so easily on your tongue, leaving a bitter taste.

Each time you witnessed these scenes unfold, jealousy and frustration would wash over you. Or how you'd feel utterly awful whenever you accidentally overheard them having sex.

As Logan reentered the apartment and closed the door behind him, you couldn't help but snort. “So, what number are we up to now?”

He stared at you for a moment, before chuckling and shaking his head with a smirk. “Not sure, lost count.” He shrugged, grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the kitchen island, and took a bite.

“What was their name?” you asked, staring daggers at your bowl of cereal.

Logan shrugged again. “I don't know, and honestly, I don't care,” he replied curtly before walking away.

You couldn't understand how he could be so nonchalant about this situation.

It wasn't just jealousy; you longed for any kind of affection or love from Logan, more than you ever thought possible. You were grateful to be his best friend and you knew it might seem foolish to hope for a chance with him, but you couldn't help yourself. Deep down, you feared you'd always feel this lonely, believing you could never fall for anyone but him. He was everything you craved and needed in life.

You felt foolish, constantly embarrassed and rejected. More than anything, you felt hurt, knowing that you were the only one to blame. It was your own feelings that had caused all this pain.

The thought of him one day falling in love with someone else made your stomach sink, but you pushed and suppressed your sadness aside daily. It didn't really matter—Logan was free to date whoever he wanted. He was your best friend, only his best friend.

One day, you'd have to come to terms with the fact that he would always be just your best friend.

You just hoped that one day it would become easier to deal with these feelings.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It was the middle of a cold winter night — the air cool against your skin, even with your large pink puffer jacket to keep you warm. The thick curtain of night enveloped the sky, painting it a deep midnight blue, with stars twinkling like the clearest diamonds. Despite the cool ambient air, you found yourself relaxing, your shoulders gradually easing.

“You see that there?” you pointed up at the starlit sky, leaning unconsciously into Logan's warmth as you both lay on the grass of the X-mansion grounds. “That's the Pleiades. People often mistake it for the Little Dipper, but it's just a star cluster.”

Logan hummed, but his eyes were focused on you, how you gazed up at the stars with an awestruck expression. A gentle smile tugged at his lips, as he enjoyed how you looked so endearing as you were so engrossed in the stars that you loved so dearly.

He glanced up at the part of the sky you were pointing to, located the cluster of stars you had mentioned. He studied it for a moment and thought he had seen something similar to the Pleiades before, but never illuminated in the night sky like this. Logan's gaze then returned to the earth, settling back on the grass where he lay beside you.

“Beautiful,” Logan whispered as he stared at you. “Truly beautiful.”

You were too busy gazing up at the sky to realise that he wasn't talking about the sky.

For as long as you could remember, you had loved the night sky, finding its dark embrace profoundly comforting. More than that, you adored the stars—coming out at night to bask in their radiance, with their distant coldness soothing your soul.

You had always felt so mesmerised about the universe, especially the stars and the moon. They appeared beautiful, glittering magnificently beside one another as they hovered in the upper stratosphere.

“Why did you bring me out here, Lo?” you finally asked, looking up at your best friend. You noticed him smirk down at you and saw a fleeting hint of hesitant insecurity in his green eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

He shrugged against you, still grinning. “I know how much you enjoy stargazing, and I'm aware you've had a rough week, so I wanted to give you a chance to relax for a bit.”

You softened as you gazed up at him. Logan was right—you had been having a rough week. The children had been sweet, but the workload had been overwhelming. You couldn't help but appreciate how Logan was always looking out for you.

“Thank you…” you whispered.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He winked before he looked back up at the sky. “Why don't you show me another constellation?”

You giggled as you pointed out another cluster of stars, but more often than not, Logan found it hard to focus on the stars. After all, he had a bright light of his own by his side daily that captured all of his attention.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A year had passed since you moved in with Logan, and autumn was already around the corner. The temperature was gradually dropping, and the air became crisper. The trees' leaves were starting to fade from vibrant greens to tamer shades of bronze and gold. You had always loved this time of year—it was that perfect season where you could bundle up in layers when you were outside, then retreat indoors in the evenings, getting cosy with a hot chocolate and a good book.

It was during seasons like this that you found yourself wishing you could cuddle up with someone, enjoying a movie or simply each other's company. But it wasn't just anyone you wanted by your side—it had always been Logan for you.

For the longest time, you were content in just keeping all your feelings hidden. Lately, though, the longing had been getting harder to bear. Wanting someone you knew you couldn't have was starting to feel unbearable, slowly eating away at you. And even though you knew he could never be yours, it didn't stop you from savouring the sweet ache in your heart every time he smiled or when he pulled you into a warm, platonic hug.

All the stupid fluttery feelings in your stomach every time his eyes would catch yours, or the way your heart beat fast whenever you were in close proximity to him. You knew it had been years since you'd known Logan, but you couldn't help the effect he always had on you. The way he left you yearning for more. But, of course, you tried to bury those feelings down deep, reminding yourself that Logan could never feel the same way about you as you felt about him.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

One lazy afternoon, with no classes scheduled for you to teach, you found yourself by the lake on the X-Mansion grounds, practising your water bending. The water flowed seamlessly around you as you moved your arms, bending it effortlessly to your will. As you went through each movement, you could feel a pair of eyes on you, observing every precise motion, your muscles tensing with each fluid shift. A light sheen of sweat formed on your brow, and your face held a fierce look of concentration as you focused on perfecting your stance and movements.

Several moments had passed, and the person watching you still hadn't spoken a word. By now, you were almost certain it wasn't just anyone—it had to be Logan. Anyone else would have said something by now, maybe greeted you or asked about your training. But not Logan. He had a way of lingering in silence, watching you in that quietly intense way of his, never feeling the need to fill the space with unnecessary words.

“Well, are you just going to stand there and stare, or do you plan on saying something?” you asked, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

Logan grunted, “I think I'll just keep watching. I quite like the view from here.”

A flush of warmth spread across your face, butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach at his words. You hesitated for a moment, pausing your movements before he spoke again.

“Don't stop on my account, sweetheart.”

You knew he was wearing one of his signature grins, and you so desperately wanted to wipe it off his face. As you grew more flustered, a wave of frustration built up inside you—how could this man always have such an effect on you? An idea sparked in your mind, a mischievous smirk tugging at your lips. Deciding to continue your water bending practice while he watched, you let the water flow effortlessly around you, fully aware of his eyes tracking your every move.

Once a peaceful stillness settled in the air, you saw your opening. Without warning, you spun around with swift precision, bending the water toward him and drenching him in seconds.

Logan stood there, completely perplexed as you broke into a fit of giggles. He was drenched from head to toe, and you knew it wouldn't be long before he sprang into action. Sure enough, just seconds later, he smirked again, though this time it carried a sharper edge. “You think this is funny, bub?”

“Yeah, I kinda do,” you replied between laughs, unable to contain yourself.

But then, Logan's grin turned devious, and with a determined march, he began closing the distance between you. Your eyes widened in realisation, and without thinking, you bolted away.

“You're not getting away with this, princess,” he called out, his voice low as he gave chase.

He moved swiftly through the gardens, but you were quicker, slipping just out of sight every time he got close. His eyes darted around, scanning the area, frustration slowly turning into determination. You could hear him muttering under his breath, his footsteps getting louder as he searched for you. Your heart raced as you ducked behind a tree, trying to stifle your laughter. The thrill of the chase had adrenaline coursing through your veins.

For a moment, you thought you had lost him, but then he sniffed and just as you peeked around the tree, you saw him spot you from across the grove. His eyes gleamed with mischief as a smirk curled at the corner of his lips. “I got you,” he muttered before he moved towards you with renewed speed. You tried to slip away again, but it was too late—he had you cornered.

Soon enough, two strong arms caged you in, trapping you between the tree and his chest. A startled yelp escaped your lips as you tried to back away, only to realise there was nowhere to go. “Gotcha,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, the familiar playful glint in his eyes making your heart race even faster.

You squirmed, trying to find a way out, but his grip tightened just enough to keep you in place without being overbearing. “Logan! Let me go,” you protested, laughter bubbling up in your throat despite your attempt to sound serious.

“Thought you could get away that easily, huh?” he teased, leaning in so close that you could feel his wet clothes and the warmth of his body. The heat from his proximity spread across your own, making you acutely aware of how close you were. You bit your lip, your cheeks becoming hotter as his smirk widened. The sight of your flustered expression seemed to delight him, his satisfaction evident in his playful gaze.

“Well, this is cosy,” you remarked, but your voice barely rose above a whisper. There was a tremor in your tone, one that matched the rapid beat of your heart.

“Hm, I think so too,” he responded with the same teasing tone. You gazed up at him with bright eyes as the golden hour of evening cast a warm glow around you both. It took all his willpower not to look away, not to acknowledge the tension that hung thick in the air.

You shifted against the tree, searching for a different way to elicit a reaction from him. Your touch light, almost accidental, but it sent a shockwave through him, his breath hitching in his throat. You could feel him stiffen, sensing the tension as he reacted to your contact.

He leaned in, just enough that he could feel your breath against his skin, just enough that the space between you became almost non-existent, and just enough to hear your breath hitch.

Logan closed his eyes, as he pressed his forehead against your own. Every time he tried to speak, the words got tangled up in the mess of emotions swirling inside him. All he could think about was how close you were, how your touch burned through him, how the smell of you, that unique soft scent of yours, filled his senses and made him want to lose himself in you.

“Lo—”

Before you could finish, Ororo's voice rang out, calling your name. You felt a wave of disappointment wash over you as you realised your moment with Logan was interrupted. You had forgotten about the promise to cook together with her and Jean, and your friend's timing burst the bubble of what you thought might finally be a shared moment with him.

He grunted in frustration, pulling away from you and looking off to the side. Ororo, Jean, and even Scott soon found their way to you, their presence drawing closer. As they approached, each of them wore a grin that suggested they had noticed the tension between you and Logan. The air was thick with unspoken understanding, and it was clear that your friends had picked up on the charged moment that had just been interrupted.

You cleared your throat and stepped reluctantly away from Logan, trying to regain your composure. You forced a smile as you addressed your friends, saying, “Sorry to keep you guys waiting.” You then walked away with Jean and Ororo towards the mansion, though you couldn't help glancing back over your shoulder. Each time you looked, a hint of longing appeared on your face as you cast a final, wistful glance at Logan.

As you walked away, you heard Scott remark, “You look wet.”

Logan responded with a huff, “Fuck off, Summers.”

You couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if your friends wouldn't have interrupted you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It had been Friday evening, and you were in your office at the institute, finishing up grading the last of the papers while waiting for Logan. The two of you had plans to head home together, but he had yet to come and find you. Growing impatient, you decided to look for him yourself. You grabbed your bag and jacket before going out of your office, closing the door silently behind you. The smell of stew wafted through the mansion as you jogged down the stairs from your office to the kitchen. You quietly approached and paused when you saw him with Jean. She was chopping vegetables, while Logan leaned against the island, holding a cup of coffee.

“I don't see why you don't just do it. Everyone can see how perfect you two are for each other,” Jean had sighed.

Your eyes widened and you bit your lip nervously as you instinctively hid behind the wall. You truly hoped Logan wouldn't smell your scent while hiding, considering his heightened sense of smell. You knew you shouldn't be eavesdropping, but your curiosity had gotten the better of you. Jean's words had left you intrigued about what they were discussing.

Logan huffed, “I've already told you—” he tried arguing, but Jean cut him off mid-sentence.

“Logan, come on,” Jean said pointedly. “You keep denying it, but everyone here has seen the two of you dance around each other for years. You can't honestly tell me that you're just friends. Friends don't act the way you two do with each other.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Logan asked, tilting his head to the side. Your stomach churned as you realised they were talking about the two of you. Silently, you pressed your back against the wall and shuffled further behind it, continuing to listen.

“It means that friends don't stare at each other longingly, or they don't flirt with each other, and they certainly don't cuddle together while sharing the same bed,” Jean said, emphasising her point as Logan began to argue. “Besides,” she continued, “you've known her for a while now. There's no one you've been more comfortable with than her. We all know you'll look after each other and be happy together. So why haven't you done anything about it? All we want is for you both to be happy,” Jean concluded.

You bit your lip at her words, feeling a mix of hope and nervousness churn in your stomach. With trembling fingers, you held your breath, waiting for Logan's response. When you heard him sigh, you felt your world begin to crumble around you.

“Yeah, but Jean, it's not like that. We are not like that. We're just friends,” Logan had replied. You had pressed your teeth harshly into your lip, biting down so hard you feared you might draw blood. It was the only thing keeping you from sobbing out loud. Logan's words replayed over and over in your mind. While you had always known he felt that way, hearing it confirmed so casually had left your heart breaking.

Not wanting to listen any longer, you silently turned and hurried toward the main entrance, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once outside, tears flooded your vision as you ran to the mansion gates, searching through your bag for your phone to call a cab. Since you hadn't brought your car and had driven in with Logan that morning, calling a cab was your only option.

When the cab finally arrived, you slid into the backseat and gave the driver your instructions. As he drove you home, you took a deep breath, struggling to swallow the lump in your throat. Your breath came in labored gasps as you fought to keep from breaking down in tears. Your mind was running a mile a minute as you tried to process his words. Silently you let the tears flow down your cheeks.

When you arrived at your building, you paid the cab and noticed your phone buzzing incessantly. You quickly silenced it as you entered your apartment, not bothering to look at who was trying to contact you.

Once you entered your bedroom, you broke down just then as you let out a choked sob while stripping off your clothes. With great effort, you managed to put on your pyjamas before climbing into bed. Soon, you would let your destructive thoughts take over. Deep down, you knew you shouldn't have eavesdropped on their conversation and jumped to conclusions, especially since Logan wasn't done speaking with Jean. But you couldn't bear to stay and listen any longer. You felt too vulnerable as you let his words echo inside your head.

You had been ignoring all the texts from your friends and the calls from Logan specifically, too drained to even hold a conversation.

Eventually, you felt sleep overtaking you, utterly exhausted from a long workweek and an emotionally draining evening.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

That same night, you had jolted awake to the sound of a loud rumble. Outside, storm clouds loomed ominously over the city, with thunder crackling through them every few minutes. The storm had been raging outside your apartment, with thunder booming so fiercely it shook the windows. Curled up in your bed, you had whimpered softly, clutching a thick blanket tightly around you—not just for warmth, but for comfort and a sense of protection.

You had never liked thunderstorms, and by now, you must have tried a thousand different ways to distract yourself from them. You'd put on headphones to drown out the noise, but the knowledge of the storm outside still fed your anxiety. Thunderstorms always had a way of making you feel small and utterly helpless.

You felt a tightness building in your chest as you trembled beneath the sheets. Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing and calm yourself down. In moments like these, you felt truly helpless. You knew you shouldn't feel ashamed for being this terrified, but you couldn't help it.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the song playing through your headphones, desperate to drown out the storm. Moments later, you felt the bed dip. Slowly, you opened your eyes and found Logan sitting at the end of your bed, his soft gaze fixed on you with a look of quiet concern. A wave of relief washed over you just at the sight of him. Part of you wanted to ignore him and continue being upset with everything that had happened earlier that evening, but you couldn't find the power to do so. After all, he probably didn't even know why you were upset and who were you even kidding, he was everything you needed.

He was sitting there shirtless, dressed only in a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was tousled from sleep. If it weren't for the sheer terror you felt because of the storm outside, you knew your cheeks would be burning at the sight of him like this. You noticed his mouth moving and, reluctantly, you slid one headphone off your ear to hear him.

“W-what?” you squeaked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Sweetheart,” Logan whispered cautiously into the darkness.

At the sound of his voice, the tears that had been brimming in your eyes finally spilled down your cheeks. “I'm so sorry, I feel so stupid,” you whispered, taking off your headphones and quickly trying to wipe your tears away, embarrassed by your emotions and the fact that you were terrified by the storm.

Seconds later Logan was climbing up the bed and he was lying right next to you. His strong arms wrapped around your shaking form almost immediately, holding you tightly.

“Shhh it's okay sweet girl, I've got you,” he whispered softly as he kissed your temple. Warmth spread through you at the action and you melted into his embrace.

“I hate being scared of them, Lo,” you mumbled into his chest as he squeezed you tightly.

“It's okay princess, I got you. I won't let anything happen to you.” His hands, surprisingly soft, were stroking your skin in a soothing manner as he continued to press soft kisses around the top of your head.

As Logan held you, you felt yourself slowly begin to calm down. Even though the storm showed no signs of letting up, his presence made you feel much more at ease and secure. Logan meant everything to you—he was your anchor.

“Please, stay,” you whispered as the last few tears slipped down your cheeks.

In the dark, Logan whispered your name and tightened his embrace. “I'm not going anywhere, baby girl.”

As Logan held you close, you felt your body relax gradually. He gently ran his hand through your hair, pulling the covers over both of you and adding an extra layer of warmth.

You reflected on how he often spoke to you and the way he treated you with such care. You couldn't help but overthink his sweet and gentle treatment. You knew you were more emotional and needed extra reassurance and patience, but you had never considered that he might actually have feelings for you beyond friendship. You often felt like a burden to your friends and especially to Logan. You were fairly certain you were the only one he treated this way. His teasing sometimes seemed like it could be flirting, and despite your attempts to deny it, deep down you sensed that you were somehow special to him. 

But another part of you couldn't shake what he had said earlier that night to Jean. You felt deeply conflicted and confused about everything happening between the two of you. The uncertainty and mixed emotions left you struggling to understand his true feelings, unsure of how to navigate the situation.

So you did what felt best to you, which was communicating. Even if you hated confrontation so much, you hated being unsure even more.

“Lo?” your voice trembled as you whispered against him.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” He said gently.

You took a little longer to respond, lost in your own thoughts, overthinking everything. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest. Sensing your hesitation, Logan spoke up again, breaking through your spiralling mind.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice lingering in the air as your eyes fluttered open. His head was tilted slightly, worry etched across his face.

“'M-am fine… I just—” you stuttered, your voice cracking. Logan stared at you, waiting patiently for you to finish. “I need to talk about something, or-or it will probably eat me alive if I don't.”

Logan's brow furrowed as his concern deepened, but he remained patient, waiting for you to continue.

“I- I overheard you and Jean earlier tonight…” your voice barely above a whisper.

Recognition settled over him at your words. He sighed shortly after. “What exactly did you hear?”

“You said…” your voice faltered, cracking slightly before you took a deep breath, closing your eyes. “You said we weren't like 'that,' and that we were just friends. After hearing that, I couldn't stay. It hurt too much.” You paused, your words tumbling out in a rush. “I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped, and I'm sorry... I just—” Your voice trailed off as you buried your face in his chest, your rambling finally coming to an end.

He let out a deep sigh, pulling you closer into his embrace. One of his hands gently cupped your cheek, causing your breath to hitch at the contact. “Sweetheart,” he said, his voice steady but filled with warmth. Slowly, you opened your eyes, tears welling up as you met his gaze. Logan's expression softened, and he let out a soothing sound. “Angel, if you'd stayed a little longer, you would've heard the rest of the conversation.”

“W-what?” You squeaked, your heart pounding against your chest as you anxiously waited for him to continue.

“First of all,” he began, locking eyes with you as he spoke, “I told Jean that I couldn't tell you how I felt because I never thought you'd feel the same way. I figured you were better off not knowing how I feel about you because…” His voice faltered for a moment, a heavy sigh escaping him before he continued, “I've always believed I didn't deserve someone like you. Someone so beautiful, so patient, intelligent, caring and so sweet.”

“Lo—” It was difficult to process everything he had said. You had been so sure that he didn't feel anything more than platonic for you, so hearing that he did was overwhelming and you needed to let it sink in. “I just thought... you know, with all the people you've had over in the past, you wouldn't feel anything for me,” you said, your sadness making it hard to finish the sentence and your nerves bracing for the words you had been dreading to hear.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

“I know it sounds stupid, but I kept convincing myself that if I would have meaningless sex with random people that I would get over you. That if I told you how I felt, I’d lose you,” he went on, his vulnerability tugging at your heart. “That’s the last thing I want. You mean too much to me to risk that. I love you, and the thought of losing you—even if it meant not having you the way I wanted—was unbearable.”

Tears welled in your eyes, slowly slipping down your cheeks as he poured out his heart, leaving you in disbelief. You hiccuped through your tears, “You... y-you love me?”

His expression softened further as he took in your puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Gently, he used his hands to wipe away the tears that were slipping down your cheeks, handling you with far more tenderness and care than you had shown yourself earlier.

“Of course I do,” he replied softly. “In every universe, there's no one I love more than you.”

“Logan, you deserve me. Just as much as I deserve you,” you said, cupping his cheeks as tears continued to stream down your own. “You don't have an idea how much I love you.”

Logan smiled softly before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. His arms tightened around you as he began to pepper your face with tender kisses. You couldn't help but giggle against him, feeling the tension between you both melt away bit by bit. The tears slowly came to a stop.

As the emotional intensity of the moment subsided, you felt a sense of relief and contentment. The storm outside seemed to fade into the background as you basked in the warmth of your newfound understanding. You knew that challenges would still come, but facing them together felt infinitely more manageable now that you had acknowledged your feelings for each other.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

After placing a final kiss on the tip of your nose, he pulled back, his gaze filled with such deep affection that it left you feeling overwhelmed—but in the best possible way.

Logan caressed your face with fondness as he admired you. “You’re beautiful.”

You’d feel flustered instantly. “You’re so handsome Logan.” You whispered timidly. 

“Really?” He’d smile down at you. 

“Yes,” you whispered, continuing to meet his gaze shyly, your heart racing as his touch lingered on your skin.

You felt his hand slip beneath the hem of your nightshirt, his fingers tracing the soft skin of your back. A shiver ran down your spine at his touch, drawing his playful gaze as his eyes glinted mischievously. Your breath hitched when his other hand brushed against your bottom lip, sending warmth flooding through your body as his touch became more intimate, exploring you with quiet intensity.

“Do I make you nervous?” he teased with a devious grin.

“I guess you do,” you admitted, biting your lip bashfully.

“And why's that?” Logan asked, leaning in even closer. You could feel his breath against your lips, his nose brushing gently against yours. 

There’s a moment of silence as Logan’s face moves closer and closer to your own, both unable to verbalise just how desperate either of you feel for each other.

His hands are warm as they wander all over your back, underneath the soft fabric of your pyjamas. Your eyes flutter close as you enjoy his attention. You feel yourself get lightheaded by his affection and by the close proximity of your bodies.

As your eyes remained locked with his, the intensity between you grew. You found yourself studying every detail of Logan’s face—the small moles scattered across his skin, his beautiful green eyes, the rough stubble along his jawline. Your gaze drifted from his eyes, down the slope of his nose, until you were irresistibly drawn to his lips. His mouth looks so inviting.

How much you’ve dreamed of having them on your own.

You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you resolved to reveal the truth. You didn’t want to keep it from him any longer, especially with him looking at you as if he was about to devour you.

“B-because I—” you finally spoke as you stumbled over your words. You felt weak in his presence, but in the best way imaginable. Heat spreads through your body, a feverish sensation overwhelming your senses. Your heart raced, refusing to calm down, and your limbs trembled uncontrollably. It wasn’t the kind of fever that came with illness, but a warmth—tingling, like anticipation coursing through your veins. You whimpered as the same warmth settled between your thighs. “I need y-yo—”

Before you could finish your sentence, his lips crashed onto yours, kissing you with an intensity and passion that left you trembling and helpless, while soft whimpers escaped your throat. He’d tug your body fully closer against his own as his mouth claimed yours.

All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Gradually, you leaned into Logan, melting into his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him back.

Logan groaned as he continued to kiss you with a fierce intensity, giving everything he had. You felt his tongue tracing your lips slowly. Knowing what he wanted you parted your mouth slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue inside and swirl it around yours.

You absorbed all his passion, savouring the warmth of his closeness and the sensation of his rough yet soft hands holding you tightly. You didn’t want to ask how this was happening, nor did you dare question whether it was real or just a dream.

One of his hands roamed over the bare skin of your back beneath your pyjama shirt, leaving goosebumps in his wake, while the other explored the tender curve of your neck. He held you with such tenderness as his mouth continued to move ferociously against yours.

You whimpered against him as warmth and wetness continued to pool between your thighs, your pussy throbbing as his voice rumbled with a chuckle. “You okay there, kitten?” he asked softly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your jaw.

You knew he could smell your arousal, knew he could hear how fast your heart was beating. You bit your lip, trying to stifle another sound, and you tried to bury your face into his chest, feeling the heat spreading across your face and body. Logan was having none of that, his lips quickly reunited with yours. He groaned softly, a deep rumble in his chest, as you trailed your tongue out to seek purchase in his mouth, and he opened for you without hesitation. His hands gripped at your waist and brought your body flush against his.

You wanted Logan to consume your very being. Claim you as his completely.

Soft little noises of pleasure kept leaving your mouth as he continued to kiss you. His lips pressed against yours, guiding the kiss with a gentle control that made you melt into his embrace. You surrendered completely, letting him lead as you revelled in the sensation. He was so good at kissing that all you wanted was to stay in this moment with him forever.

He pulled away after what felt like hours to breathe, his warm pants fanning across your heated face. He was still holding your face with one hand, and his thumb on your cheek moved a little, stroking your skin with so much tenderness. Murmuring against your lips, he said, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I love you so much.” before delving back in for more.

You whimpered as he nipped at your bottom lip, then gently swiped his tongue over it to soothe the sting. You gasped, and Logan seized the moment to explore the inside of your mouth with his tongue once again. As the kiss grew more heated, you moaned, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

Surprisingly, you completely forgot about the storm that’s raging outside.

Logan devoured you, pouring all his love into you and claiming your mouth and kissing you with so much passion, your body shuddered with want, from the need for him. He moved his lips with yours and swirled his tongue with your own. His hand then moved to tangle in your hair as he pressed his body to yours completely.

Your hands moved to bury in his hair as well. When you pulled at his hair it was a bit rougher than you intended to and it tips his head all the way back and he lets out a loud, wanton moan that makes your whole body flush with arousal. You whined as he finally pulled away, as he left your body flush and panting and craving so much more.

His mouth then moved from your lips to your cheeks as he whispered his love for you again and again. He started trailing long, hot kisses down your jaw and neck. You whimpered pitifully as he suckled lightly on the side of your neck, tilting your head back instinctively to bare more of your soft skin to him.

“Fuck, baby, you’re everything.” He groaned as he bit down gently on the junction of your neck and shoulder. You cried out, impulsively grinding your hips against his own, desperately searching for some much needed friction against your throbbing clit. “You’re mine.” He’d growl against your skin.

You gasped, your eyes flying open when you felt his erection pressing against your pussy. You moaned as your core started clenching around nothing, begging for some attention, his attention.

Logan groaned as you continued to grind against him, grasping your hips into his hands to halt your movements. You whined in protest, as he then rolled you both over, hovering above you as he pinned your arms gently against the mattress.

“So needy.” He chuckled as a devious smile would grow on his face. “Does your sweet little pussy want some attention?” He grinned when you whimpered underneath him, before he continued. “I can always smell how much you need me.” He growled before he rolled his hips against yours again. “This virgin pussy is always begging for me to fill her.”

You didn’t have time to become embarrassed as high pitched whimpers slipped past your lips as he continued to grind against you. You’ve craved this man so bad, and now that he was yours you didn’t want to hold back anymore. He intertwined your hands together as he moved his big straining and clothed cock against your now soaked panties. 

“Love those little noises you make for me, such a good girl.” He moaned against the skin of your neck as he pressed open mouthed kisses and licks across your skin. 

You whined as he gave you a particular hard thrust. You could feel how massive he felt as he rubbed his cock against your clothed folds. You couldn’t deny that it made you nervous but all you could think about was that you needed and wanted him to take you so bad. More wetness would pool down your heated cunt as you fantasise about him filling your tiny pussy with more than just his cock. “Ah, n-need yo-you Lo…”

Suddenly everything became overwhelming, the temperature in the room rising quickly, the feel of his thick cock thrusting against you, the feel of his touch as it wandered all over your skin and the fact that you were going into a foreign but intimate territory with your best friend had you feeling hot all over.

His features softened as he took in how overwhelmed and flustered you looked. He slowed down his movements and one of his hands would move to hold your face as he slowly leaned down to peck your lips. “You’re okay baby girl, I’ve got you. I will take good care of you.” He whispered against your lips. His low voice sent a new wave of arousal down your body. “Tell me what you need, kitten.”

“You, I need you, Logan. I've always only needed you,” you whimpered against his lips as you reconnected them. His hands gently caressed your thighs, and your mind became hazy with intense lust and overwhelming love for him. Your brain instantly turned into mush as you continued to kiss each other passionately.

The kiss then increased with an intensity that had you gasping for breath. You rolled your hips into his, rubbing your throbbing clit against him for some friction against your core. You moaned into his mouth as you rubbed against him. The front of his sweatpants strained as he moved along with you.

As you kept losing yourself in the kiss, you felt his hands wander up your thighs up to the hem of your shirt. His fingers brushed delicately over the sides of your ribs, moving up and down your skin repeatedly, his fingertips mapping out every dip and curve as they wandered all over your skin.

“You're beautiful,” he whispered against your lips, admiring you, making you glance up at him shyly from beneath him. He pulled away just slightly only for him to hold the hem of your shirt, and you could tell what he was about to ask before he opened his mouth. You bit your lip and nodded vigorously, causing him to chuckle breathlessly. “You want me to take this off?” He questioned as he tugged at the fabric gently. 

You nodded bashfully, unable to use or trust your voice during that moment. 

He smiled softly, his hands gently brushing under your shirt before hooking his fingers into the fabric. Slowly, he lifted it, and you raised your arms to help him slip it off.

You felt heat rising on your skin the way his eyes roamed all over you, taking in every little detail. The way Logan was looking at you, eyes filled with nothing but love, adoration and lust, made you feel so alive.

He discarded the piece of clothing to the side and began mouthing along your collarbone with affection. You trembled underneath him as he showered you with his attention. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered repeatedly as his mouth travelled all over your exposed skin.

His large hands moved to the curve of your waist where it met your hips and clutched it, holding you tight as he littered damp kisses and nips to your shoulders and any skin along the way down to your breasts. You whimpered as he traced the tip of his nose over the swell of your breast.

He smirked as he looked up at you, breathing in through his nose as he inhaled your scent and you couldn’t help but shiver when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “Fuck, baby girl, you’re so hot.”

Then, he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked with passion.

“L-Lo,” you mewl as you try to grind your hips against him, your cunt seeking friction as it throbs with need.

“Feeling good kitty?” He quipped back as he grins up at you. You felt your skin flush with heat as you just stared down at him. Lust was written all over your face and he had no trouble reading your expression. So he resumed licking, long, lavishing licks with the flat of his tongue over your pebbled nipple as the other hand which was occupying your other breast, travelled all the way down to your panties. 

As his fingers slipped underneath the band of your lacy underwear, down to where you needed him the most, his mouth fell open to unleash a loud groan onto your nipple as he felt your wetness, sliding his fingers between your soaked folds.

He explored your wet cunt patiently. Heat overwhelmed your senses as Logan continued to litter soft kisses all over your chest. Your hands found his head, running your fingers through his hair as his mouth continued to wander all over your naked skin.

Logan’s lips moved slowly down your body, kissing every little place he could find on your skin while his hands traced along.

Soon, he would retreat his hand from your heat, leaving you a whimpering mess. He then leant forward, his face meeting your sex, breathing in the smell of your pussy, running his nose against the damp patch on your underwear. You whimpered as he inhaled your scent. “Fuck kitten,” he growled as he couldn’t seem to stop smelling you. “This pussy smells so good, I can’t wait to taste ya.”

A devious smile played on Logan’s lips as he looked up at you through his eyelashes. “I am sure you taste just as good as you smell, if not better.” He groaned before taking your underwear between his teeth, while pulling it off your legs slowly. A shuddering breath left your lips, speechless as you watched him take off your lacy panties, becoming needier the longer you watched him. Logan kept looking at you as he slid down your body, pulling it off of you when it reached your ankles.

Once he took them off completely he gently pushed your legs wide for him, whimpering as the air hit your wet slit. He took a moment as his eyes took over you, your glistening centre clenching around nothing as he continued to stare at your wet hole. The man between your legs would moan at the sight. Not much later, Logan smirked as he kissed all the way up to your leg, taking his sweet time to give your body the attention you deserved. He pressed soft kisses from your ankles up to your knees, his hands moving along with his mouth, caressing the insides of your thighs as he gradually moved up your legs.

His lips lingered on your thighs, licking and sucking some kisses on your soft skin, Logan’s lips were so close to where you needed him the most yet he felt so far away.

“So pretty,” he murmured as he guided your legs over either of his shoulders.

You were about to beg as his lips detached from your thigh, only for moments later to feel him nuzzling against your pussy, smearing your juices across his lips and opening you up to his skilled tongue.

You gasp and squirm at the contact of his wet tongue.

He then pulls back for a second, “pussy tastes so good,” he moaned before his fingers moved to spread your outer lips for him. “But I think I'm gonna play with my girl for a bit.” Logan smiled as he slid a finger inside of you, watching the way your body squirmed at the sensation, moaning against the pillow next to you as you tried to muffle yourself.

You moaned as he moved his thick and long finger inside your tight walls. “So wet for me baby girl, you’re literally dripping on my finger,” he said before he pressed some kisses on your pubic bone, making you buck your hips in response. “Easy, kitty, we have all night.”

“L-Logan, please please I need more. Need your mouth and just. More. Pleaseeee need you so ba—” your whining got cut off the moment you felt his lips wrap around your clit, sucked it into his mouth, coaxing a loud but broken moan out of you. “F-Fuck!”

You felt like screaming, you didn’t know what to do with your hands, feeling so lost and overwhelmed with the pleasure Logan was giving you already. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance along with his finger before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet appendage before sucking your button into his mouth.

The whine that came out of you only drove Logan to seek out more of those heavenly sounds. As his one single digit pumped in and out of you, you couldn’t help but appreciate that his fingers felt so much more pleasurable and thicker than your own. As bliss overwhelmed your senses, you felt your whole body start to tremble. 

Your core began clenching around his finger, begging for more. He pumped his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace. Instinctively you tried moving your hips, slowly, grinding against his hand and mouth as he moaned. He gave you an intense look as he continued to fuck you with his finger. His eyes couldn’t seem to stay in one place as he admired how beautiful you were underneath him.

You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight, your mind turning hazy as he slowly slipped a second finger inside your tight channel. 

Logan moved them slowly at first as your pussy tried to adjust to the addition. The stretch was overwhelming but oh so satisfying. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucked you with his fingers. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

You gasped, his tongue slipped inside your mouth, kissing you with so much passion, giving you everything he had to offer. “That feels good doesn't it, princess?” Logan groaned as his thumb made contact with your clit. You bucked your hips and nodded quietly. “Use your words pretty girl,” he taunted while he curled his fingers inside you as he played with the sensitive spot inside you.

“Yes, please please Lo, feels… so good.” You moaned loudly.

Soon his lips travelled all the way down your body as whines and whimpers left your trembling lips, silently begging for more — all while he was still finger fucking you.

Logan inhaled your scent as soon as he leaned forward, but didn’t let you wait in anticipation much longer. He wet his lips before his head dipped between your legs, warm tongue licking a slow stripe across your outer lips, all the way up to your button.

“Ah, fuck!” You cried out, your hips bucking off the mattress. 

Squeaky, senseless noises bubbled up from your throat wantonly. Your hips stuttered against him and he just sighed like there was nothing in the world he'd rather do than this, eating you out on your bed.

You were a mess of his name, chanting and stuttering over and over again like a prayer. Your eyes squeezing shut to the point of tears, his mouth licked up your clit, as he continued to finger you while one of his other hands was holding your hip, pinning you to the soft sheets as you bucked into him, trying to urge him to do more.

The way he build up your arousal by pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling up ever so slightly to find the spongy spot inside of you. The familiar coil in your belly continued to build up as Logan suckled on your sensitive bud. Your abdomen tightened as he began quickening his pace again, his fingers hitting into that sweet spot with precision, had your toes curling as you clenched your thighs around his head.

Logan was lapping at you with determination, moving his fingers continuously as he slowly got you to the edge.

“Oh, my—”you whimpered, trembling digits sinking half into his brown hair and the other against your teeth, as you tried to silence yourself. “Fuck, aahh Logan, f-fuck…”

He moaned against you as his lips sealed around your clit and you bucked your hips at the action. Warmth spread throughout your whole body as he began talking you through it. “Fuckin’- you taste so good. Feels so good. You’re just… everything.”

You whimpered as he continued. “Come on,” he grunted as he pumped his fingers faster in and out of you. “Come on baby, cum for me.” 

“Ah, d-daddy,” You gasped loudly as your whole body trembled even more, the hot familiar feeling continued to spread all over your body, your body tingling, your hips moving at their own accord against Logan’s hand and face. Totally unaware of the word that slipped past your lips as your body tensed as he called you ‘a good girl’ and shortly after you came against his mouth and around his fingers. 

“That’s my girl.”

Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt so overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body still trembled as you felt yourself come down from your high.

As you slowly came back to your senses you felt him gently pull his fingers out of your pulsing hole. But you still felt Logan’s mouth on you, licking and sucking at your pussy and it didn’t feel like he was gonna stop any time soon. You whined as he moaned against you while he licked against your tight entrance, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your slick hole.

“‘S too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.

Logan ignored your pleas, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you adored so much between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises of ecstasy spurred him on, to move his lips back up to your clit, sucking the nub softly between his lips. 

“You love having daddy eat your sweet pussy don’t you?” He smirked, looking up at your flustered and embarrassed face as he continued licking your soaked cunt. “No need to be embarrassed, baby. I like it.”

The walls of your pussy clenched furiously, the empty feeling inside you intensifying with every lick, and as your wetness trickled out of you, your core practically begged him to fill it up.

“Oh sweet girl.” Logan tutted as you began grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling from your lips. “You’re so sensitive, kitten.” He chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your clit. 

Eventually he leaned down, finally slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraged him to do it again and again.

Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Your fingers moved once again, gripping onto his dark hair rather harshly as you pushed your hips against his face shoving his tongue deeper inside your hole.

“Please,” you begged. “‘M close.”

“Please what?” He taunted as he continued to lick your heat.

“P-please,” you stuttered and paused before finishing timidly. “Daddy.”

“Good girl,” he said before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. Moments later, the tension snapped inside your lower tummy, cumming with a loud whine, your hips stuttered as your vision blurred. You cried out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. 

Your hips stuttered until the final waves of aftershock pass. As you slowly came back down to reality again while you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently. You whined and nudged him away with your leg, only to react with a chuckle.

“Taste so good, baby. Could eat your sweet pussy all day.” He grinned as he licked the wetness off his mouth. Logan smirked, holding eye contact with you as he brought his glistening fingers to his mouth.

You giggled as he licked his fingers clean, feeling slightly embarrassed by the action. Trying to hide your flushed face, you lazily raised your hands to cover it, but Logan wasn’t having any of it. With a gentle smile, he placed tender kisses all over your hands, pulling them down slowly. Then, he leaned in closer, pressing sweet kisses to your nose, your forehead, and both your cheeks before finally capturing your lips. Each kiss was playful, filled with warmth, as laughter bubbled softly between you, his grin widening against your mouth.

He pulled away with a satisfied sigh, a warm smile spreading across his face as he reached to touch the side of your neck, tracing his fingertips up and down.

You exhaled as you melted at the feel of his touch and kissed his thumb as it came to trace across your lips. Your shaky legs wrapped around his hips, and with a playful gleam in your eyes, you gave his thumb a tender lick, holding his gaze as you rubbed your still sensitive heat against his clothed cock.

“F-fuck, you can’t just do that kitten.” He groaned as his hands came to hold your hips, stilling your movements.

You whined, pouting as you looked up at him. “Why not?”

“It’s hard to control myself around you.” He grunted as he started grinding his cock against you. Your gaze wandered downward, following the line of the vein near his V-line as it disappeared beneath his grey sweatpants. You couldn’t help but whine underneath him as he continued to grind his covered cock against your growing wetness. You gasped after giving you a particular hard thrust, that’s when you realised and felt he wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath them. He felt massive. “I’ve been trying to control myself for years. I think I’d have to control myself a bit longer.”

“W-why?” you hiccuped as he kept rutting his hips into yours.

“Don’t wanna hurt ya.” He mumbled, as his cock strained against his sweatpants.

“But I know you won’t.” You said, your voice steady, filled with all the confidence you could summon. You watched as his jaw clenched, his grip tightening slightly as he held himself back, resisting the urge to just take you like he always wanted.

“How are you so certain?” His breath hitched when you tightened your legs around him.

“I-I, because I trust you.” You continued to stutter as you both rolled your hips against each other. His eyes darkened with desire, but you could tell he was trying to restrain himself, fighting against what he truly wanted, even though the tension between you was nearly unbearable. Still, you held his gaze, unwavering. “Because you love me.”

Logan groaned, his eyes squeezing shut as he fought to keep control, every muscle in his body tense with the effort. You could see the conflict etched across his face, the battle between what he wanted and what he was trying to hold back. His grip on you tightened slightly, a sign of the restraint still lingering in him, though it was slowly slipping away. His breathing was ragged, and for a moment, you thought he might give in. But then, he swallowed hard, forcing himself to stay still, clinging to the last shred of restraint that hadn’t left him yet. “You don’t know how hard this is,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his voice thick with desire. “How difficult it’s been, every day since I met you, trying to hold back while being around you.”

“I think I do, Logan,” you whispered, gazing up at him. “Maybe not in the exact way you feel it, but I’ve struggled too, convincing myself daily that I could never have you. And now, realising I could’ve had you from the start—it’s almost unbearable.” You bit your lip, noticing how his expression softened. “That’s why I don’t want us to hold back anymore. I don’t think I can endure it any longer. Please, I need you, Logan. I love you, and I’ll always want you—”

Your words were cut off as Logan surged towards you, cupping your face as he kissed you passionately. His lips moved fervently against yours, as if he was trying to make up for every moment of restraint. Making up for any lost time. The intensity of his kiss made your head spin, your heartbeat quickening as you melted into his embrace. His hands then started roaming around your body, his hold on you tightening occasionally, pulling you closer, while his breath grew heavy as you felt every emotion as he kissed you. You clung to him, pouring out every feeling and emotion out with every heated kiss.

“I love you,” Logan murmured between tender kisses, breathlessly whispering your name.

Your own hands began wandering all over his body and eventually down his solid chest until your fingers met his abdomen, slipping momentarily underneath the waistband of his sweatpants. With a mix of urgency and desire, you tugged at them while whimpering underneath him as you continued to kiss him deeply.

“Just relax, baby. I’ve got you,” he whispered softly after pulling away from the kiss. He eventually took it upon himself to slowly peel back, shuffling a bit to rid himself of the last piece of fabric on his body. He tossed it aside, fully exposing himself to your hungry eyes.

Your breath hitched, your eyes wide. Fuck, he was massive. Long and thick in all the right ways. Just as you thought, the vein between his V Lines moved down to his cock. A spark of heat shot down to your pulsing core as you imagined how he would fit or fill you up. But it was also accompanied by a twinge of nerves.

Logan chuckled as he moved closer to you, his lips chasing your own as he enveloped you in another sweet but deep kiss. 

The two of you kissed languidly for a moment, treasuring the heat of each other's bodies as your lips slot together with ease, but soon enough the kisses become deeper, more frantic and hands start to grip tighter and legs tangling together. 

It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other. 

You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his thick cock. You whined as it turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You were so wet. Logan swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against you. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

He held his length in his hand as he kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you were squirming underneath him, and back down. The thought of his thickness finally entering your pussy made you wetter by the second, turning you more on. Logan swallowed your little mewls with his mouth, his hips rolling with yours.

You were trembling against him, full of anticipation. His body covered your whole body with his. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and consuming you with pleasure once again.

“P-please, Logan.” You stuttered, your body trembling underneath him as you waited for his next move. 

Logan hummed as he concentrated while circling your clenching hole teasingly. You arched your back slightly as you whined, silently begging to finally fill your pussy the way you’ve always wanted him to do.

“Relax, baby girl.” He whispered after he licked and kissed underneath your ear.

“Please d-daddy, I-I need you.” You whimpered in anticipation. Logan would grunt loudly before nudging the tip of his cock against your soaked hole. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. “Want you to fill this little pussy. Need you t-to fill it with more than your cock. N-need your cum.” You whispered seductively against his ear as his last bit of restraint snaps. 

At your words, Logan gradually put more pressure on your entrance making you whimper underneath him, once he finally slid his tip inside you, a gasp elicited from the both of you.

You’re aware this was just barely the tip of him, but you couldn’t help but feel the stretch burn already. Logan slid in so slowly it was agonising. You cried out as he gradually pushed more of his pulsing cock inside your own clenching hole. He was so big.

You tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly as you whined underneath him. He panted along with you, his warm breath fanning over your face while he kept his forehead pressed against yours. The stretch stung, but his pace kept it bearable. He guided himself a centimetre further, then another, another, until you were digging your nails into his scalp, a gasp spilling from your lips.

His hips stilled instantly once he heard the pained noises falling from your lips. Tears began to prickle at your waterline, a combination of discomfort and the overwhelming feelings that were coursing through you.

“Doing so good for me baby,” he praised as he peppered your face with gentle kisses. “You’re doing so good for me.”

“Please,” you whimpered as your eyes fluttered close.

Logan continued to move almost painfully slow, letting you adjust to every centimetre of him. After a couple of seconds you were able to relax more into it. You whimpered, clutching his shoulders at the stretch, the heat in your abdomen growing as your walls fluttered around him, pleasure beginning to bloom in your stomach.

“So full…” you whined.

“Such a good girl,” he grunted softly. You think there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he utters those words you felt your heat get even more wet. He leaned down as he kissed your lips gently, as he filled you up bit by bit. He hoped the sweetness of his embrace would soften the sting.

You’re trembling as you canted your hips up, begging for him to fill you to the brim, while you gripped the bedsheets between your fingers. “Please Lo, need more. I can take it, daddy.” You whimpered as you involuntarily and repeatedly tightened around his thick cock.

He groaned at your desperate whines, losing his composure momentarily as he thrust the rest of his length all the way inside your tiny hole. The head of his dick kissing your cervix once he bottomed out. You cried out as you were trembling underneath him, trying to adjust to his size while your pussy kept pulsing around his cock.

“Fuck, so fuckin’ tight.” He hissed as he let you adjust to his cock. 

His lips came to press soft and tender kisses all over your face as he let you relax. Tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes as you continued to adjust around him. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging fingernails into his shoulders. You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.

His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You needed more. 

You hadn’t even realised your eyes had drifted shut until you slowly opened them, gazing up at Logan with a soft, pleading look. “Please, Logan.”

“What do you need, sweetheart?” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated deep in his chest.

“Need more.” You whispered.

“Aww, does my sweet girl need me to move?” he teased, tilting his head with a playful smirk.

“Need you, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thick cock rather hard which made him groan above you. “Please, I need you to fuck me so bad.”

His breath hitched as he exhaled shakily, before nodding quietly. Slowly, he started moving inside you, gentle but deep. One hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other one went to intertwine your fingers together, holding your hand tightly. 

The sting hurt for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you was mixed between pain and pleasure.

He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it. Soon enough the pain would completely disappear and all you could feel was pure bliss.

Slowly, you were getting used to his girth, anticipating it every time he pulled out of you before moving forward. Your legs are splayed open on either side of his hips as he ground his cock into you. The angle was so good, gradually he would pick up his pace, leaving you a whimpering mess underneath him. As he fucked into you in languid strokes, the sound of slick skin and your noises of pleasure could be heard in your bedroom.

“How do you feel?” he whispered against your ear.

“Feels so good.” You moaned as you tightened around his cock, this time voluntarily.

You whimpered as he picked up the pace, angling himself in a certain way inside you. He finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action elicited a gasp out of you as you grab at the sheets around you, as he fucked you harder and faster.

Every time he’d thrust inside you, his pelvic bone would drag along your throbbing clit, making you cry out his name in pure ecstasy. 

“You’re taking me so well, sweet girl. Doing so so, good for me.” He whispered against your skin as he moved to nuzzle his face against your neck.

Soft grunts fell from Logan’s lips whenever he hit a specific deep spot inside you. You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a heated kiss. You melted completely against him, holding you close to him as he fucked you. He snaked one of his hands down between your conjoined bodies finding your clit as he rubbed two fingers over the sensitive nub.

At a certain point you felt him slide into a pressure point in your core and coupled with the way his fingers circled your clit, it had you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. The whimpers that fell from your lips became higher pitched as he picked up his pace.

“Feeling good, kitten?” He groaned, as his lips curled into a mischievous smile as he admired the way your face twisted in pure bliss. Too overwhelmed by the new experience. Filth and praise continued to come out of his mouth as he fucked you. “This pussy was made for daddy.”

His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed all your little noises of pleasure, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulls tighter with every movement and every touch.

Your whimpers, gasps of pleasure and pants increased as ecstasy and warmth overwhelmed your senses.

“Taking daddy’s cock so well, baby.”

His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You whimpered at the feeling of his speed, feeling another orgasm coming so close, eyes tightly shut and legs locked bruisingly around Logan’s hips. He could feel it too, in the way you clenched and squeezed around his length, and he began to drive even harder into your pussy as he tilted his hips gently, searching for the one place that he hoped would blow your mind.

“Ah, daddy—” you hiccuped as he fucked you so good you felt like a blabbering mess. “Need you to come inside my pussy...”

“Is that what you want?” He growled as you pulsed around him. “Can’t believe it… it’s your first time and you’re already begging for me to cum inside. So filthy. You’re close aren’t ya?”

You nodded furiously as your arms trembled as they wrapped around him, your nails digging in his back as he moaned on top of you. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, was tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “Bet you’d look even prettier with my cum inside your pussy. All full and messy.”

“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Lo, baby, daddy… please fill this pussy up.”

He grunted as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.

“You want to cum pretty girl?”

You nodded frantically at his words while your eyes fluttered close as you bit your lip harshly. You were bucking up beneath him, nails digging into his skin even more as his hand moved back to your clit as another came to intertwine your hands together, pinning them to the bed. He rubbed your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’ll cum around him.

“Cum for daddy.” Logan demands softly.

And when he finally nudged against that spot inside you coupled with his deep voice– you were exploding, shattering, and detonating all at once, as you cried out his name. Blood was rushing so wildly in your ears that you couldn’t possibly hear the way you wail and sob as he crashed his lips onto yours, swallowing all your noises. Your head lolled back, your back arching violently as you twist and contort in pleasure underneath him.

“That’s it, good girl.” Logan moaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Make it all messy?”

You were still in a daze but you were able to understand him so you nod vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”

“Fuck, take it baby.” It washed over him instantly, hips stuttering into you as he grew desperate, eyes squeezing shut when he felt his cock throb inside of you before hot spurts of his seed splashed along your walls, painting them in ribbons of white. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread inside your pussy. The feeling made you whimper, limbs limp on the bed as he shallowly thrust into you, making sure you took every last drop. 

His warm cum filled you up deeply, the mild heat of it settling deep inside you and causing you to squirm under him. Logan panted as he let his body slump against yours. He rested on top of you, trying to steady his breath. His cock was still nuzzled deep within you, still half hard as it kept his cum from leaking out.

It was a blurry haze when you came back to your senses, your whole body was aching whilst simultaneously feeling the most relaxed you've ever been, equally as exhausted as it was energised, and you didn’t bother trying to question why. Just pure contentment.

Once both of you caught your breaths, Logan leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

“That was…” He breathed, smiling tiredly at the complete dopey mess he's made of you; hair all over the place and eyes lidded heavily, heated skin glowing and your lips looking swollen from all the kisses you’ve both shared.

“Oh yeah, that was mind blowing.” Your voice came out hoarse, still recovering from the height and volume it had gone, and you cleared your throat gently before you smiled up at him.

“I love you.” He whispered before he captured your lips in a deep and lazy kiss. You could feel his soft mouth smiling against yours as you whimpered against him. You felt yourself melting against his embrace as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I love you too.” You whispered back against his mouth. 

You shifted slightly when you felt that he was still hard inside you. Biting your lip, you squeezed purposely around him at the realisation. Logan groaned at the feeling, his large palms sliding up your sides in a soothing manner. 

“Don’t do that.” Logan grumbled but you saw a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Why not?” You giggled as your hands trailed through his hair.

“Makes me wanna fuck you again.” Your boyfriend mumbled.

“Hm, that’s kind of the point.” You continued to giggle.

Logan chuckled as he pulled his head back, looking at you with a mirthful smile.

Before you knew it, he pulled out only to man handle your body in the position he wanted you to be. Manoeuvres your body until you’re on your tummy. His hands came to hold your hips, pulling them up, your ass in the air for him.

He kneads the flesh of your cheeks before spreading them apart for him. Your body slumps slightly forward with exhaustion but Logan is quick to grip your hips, holding you in the same position. “Oh kitten, I’m not done with you yet.” He tutted. 

Your cheeks flushed with heat as you prepared yourself for a long night filled with passion.

thank you for reading 🩷🩷🩷

[enluv]

bewitched

pairing: anton x mentioned gn reader! (pls lmk if there are any gendered terms I may have missed)

synopsis: in which anton has a not so tiny actually really big crush on reader.

genre: fluff that made me smile to myself so hard that I had to remind myself this was just a fic, idol!anton & idol!reader, angst if you squint, pouty anton & his hyungs love to tease him for it!

coco’s <3 note: this was something I wrote up after a really long day of studying for finals last week so if you hate it lie to me (I’m sensitive) and it’s completely self indulgent 😭 + not edited well…

small but important a/n: I am so happy people love this fic as much as I do but I unfortunately will not be making a part two for it! originally I didn’t plan one and still in my heart feel like it doesn’t really need one!! sorry my loves, ty for the understanding 🤍

anton who smiles to himself as he watches you do his groups dance challenge, he’s seen you backstage countless times now with your group and he swears you’re his soulmate.

loud and energetic, your personality compliments his usually timid and introverted one.

the first one to notice is seunghan, always the one with the keenest eye, he teases anton throughly when you walk past them in the music show halls, pushing his shoulders and tugging at the boys pink cheeks.

the next two to notice are wonbin and shotaro, having caught their youngest replaying your groups music video just after briefly being introduced to you, he claims it’s so he can learn your dance challenge but the boys can tell from the way his voice raises an octave, that he’s lying.

eunseok and sungchan take note as they watch his eyes sparkle up at the screen in their room backstage, there’s no hiding the proud smile he wears as he watches you move about on stage smiling and enjoying the time you have with fans, they can see just how much he admires you.

sohee is the last to know as he walks right up to you, laughing and joking like old friends do, anton goes through the five stages of grief so quickly the rest of the members laugh loudly at him.

first, he denies what’s taking place in front of his eyes, he can’t fathom how you know his friend, or why you two seem so close.

second, he’s angry. not at sohee or you, never you of course, but at himself for not seeing the obvious signs. you’d done their dance because you knew his friend, not just because you were interested in him them.

third, anton tries rationalizing with himself. this was okay, it’d be okay, and if you ended up with sohee it would be fine because technically he’d never admitted to liking you, and so technically you weren’t anyone to him, so really if he thought about it, he’d be fine, especially if you made his best friend happy.

fourth, he’s pouting, and not even on purpose in a cute way, he’s full on pouting at the scene taking place in front of him. he’s sad you’re so close to sohee, sad he isn’t the one making you laugh loudly or putting a smile on your face, sad that he has absolutely no chance with you at all. this isn’t fair, but he can’t do anything so he resorts to pouting and clinging onto his older brothers for comfort (as they laugh and tease his current state).

finally, anton thinks he’s over it. he’s been watching you and sohee giggle about back and forth for what seems like hours now (it’s been less than five minutes) and he thinks he can finally accept this reality. you’re into his friend and he’s chopped liver. yeah that’s totally fine, he’s totally okay with this outcome.

the older boys smile at one another as they watch anton bury his head deeper into eunseoks broad shoulders, seemingly shielding himself from the scene in front of him. they know when their maknae is upset and it’s a million times clear just how much he is right now.

“anton, are you okay? I want to introduce you to my friend.” sohee’s soft voice pulls him out of his depression, slowly rising his head he’s met with a pair of eyes he knows too well, and his ears turn red.

“this is my roommate, he’s the one I told you about, the one that’s a big fan of you,” his friend laughs after his words and anton isn’t sure what’s worse: you being madly in love with sohee or you knowing he’s madly in love with you.

“anton right? I’m also a big fan of you, if that’s not totally embarrassing to admit to you.”

and just like that he’s swooning again, all the thoughts and feelings from before melt away as he pushes past eunseok to stand in front of you. now this, this is just perfect.

sohee shoots him a smile and a thumbs up, and it all clicks, anton is almost ashamed of how he’s acted.

sohee knew about his crush, how could he not? they shared a room together, of course he’d caught him watching your content, laughing at things you’d said, and bashfully liking your pictures from his spam account, he’d done this on purpose, he’d introduce you to one another on purpose.

“do you want to maybe grab some lunch with me?”

so maybe that wasn’t what he’d planned to say to you first but at least he’d spoken…right? even if it was straightforward and not like him at all.

your laugh makes his ears even redder, and he’s instantly smiling as you nod, taking his hand and leading him to “a really good cafe” as you put it. anton isn’t listening fully, he’s just happy he can finally admire you in person.

yeah he’s definitely too far gone. he thinks he might be in love.

coco’s <3 note x2: I love love love writing for riize they’re honestly my favorite boys ahhh I love them!! hopefully now that I am on break I can write more for them :) thinking of opening requests for them too maybe? and like if you know me you know I don’t do that often so !!! hope you enjoyed this fic, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3

riize taglist — @palajae @txtlyn @rllymark @soheekisser @luvbinnies (can’t tag those in bold 😕)

Want to join the taglist? Find the forms here!

[mxltifxnd0m]

all maroon ∗∗ s. winchester

summary: your day was long but at least sam's here to make you feel better

pairings: established sam winchester x reader, stanford sam winchester x gn afab! reader

word count: 2.7K

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', mentions of periods, no mention of gender besides reader having a menstrual cycle, fluff, kissing, making out, kinda edited

a/n: this was purely a self indulgent fic from the shit show of a day i had yesterday and i wish it had turned out to be like this instead of what actually happened, title is a lyric from flume by bon iver

anyways enjoy! please like, comment, and reblog!! your feedback fuels me loll!

𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

From the moment you woke up, you knew today was going to be a rough one. First, you had gotten your period as soon as you woke up to your alarm, and it leaked through your underwear, and your sheets were stained with your blood. You cursed under your breath and swiftly tore off your sheets and threw them in the washer before you quickly grabbed new underwear and the outfit that you had picked out the night before and took a quick shower. 

After you were showered and changed, you maybe had fifteen to twenty minutes to make your breakfast and pack lunch and dinner before you had to leave your apartment to find adequate parking and before your class started.

You lived about fifteen minutes away from Stanford since you couldn’t afford housing after your first year there and found an affordable apartment for yourself. Your mom and dad helped pay half of your rent while you worked on campus to help pay for the rest of the rent. You were at Stanford on a scholarship that covered tuition. You had financial aid to cover the rest, like books, school supplies, and groceries, and you put the rest of that money into your savings account. 

You left your apartment on time, but as soon as you hit the freeway, there was traffic that seemed to stretch on for miles. Apparently, there was construction being done in one of the lanes, and you spent thirty minutes in traffic before you made it to the parking lot with only minutes to spare before your class started. You lucked out on finding a parking spot quickly, and you all but sprinted to your class. It didn’t help that today was your busiest day, having two classes before your shift at the library and then one last class that went until nine o’clock at night. 

You were grateful that you had some gaps in between your classes, so you had time to eat lunch and do homework. But today, it seemed like God hated you because you didn’t have enough time to eat lunch since you had to type up a paper that you forgot you had assigned for the class you had tomorrow. You barely finished the paper before you were off to your next class. Once your second class was over, you made your way to the library for your shift, and you scarfed down your lunch, which was just a plain sandwich you had made that morning before you left. 

It felt like you couldn’t catch a break. It didn’t help that today was also the day that your boyfriend was busy with class, so you wouldn’t be able to see him until you were done with your shift. Even then, you would see him for a few minutes before you were whisked away to warm up your dinner and him to his dorm, where he’d study for the rest of the night. 

You were lucky that your shift today was slow, and you didn’t have much to do besides sit at the front desk and help students who needed assistance. Time flew by faster than you could even imagine as you were working on some homework from another class when someone rang the little bell at the front desk, making you look up from your laptop. 

Sam was looking as cute as ever, grinning at you as he gripped one of the straps on his shoulder. “Hey, I was wondering if you could help me look for something?” He said, a playful glint in his eyes. 

Sam’s smile was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Yeah, what were you looking for exactly?” You smirked, deciding to play along with him. 

Sam leaned down and rested his elbows on the tall check-in desk, getting to your eye level on the tall chair you were sitting on. “Yeah, I need help finding a way out of your eyes.” A cheeky smile grew on his face as he spoke. 

You pursed your lips before snorting loudly. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you laughed, trying to keep down the noise in the quiet atmosphere of the library. You saw a slight red hue begin to grow on Sam’s cheeks as he snickered alongside you. 

“You’re such a dork, you know that?” You told him after you calmed down.

“Yeah, well I’m your dork.” 

You nodded. “That you are.” You leaned over the desk and pinched his cheek like a grandmother would her grandchild. “A really adorable one at that.” You cooed out before laughing lightly when he swatted your hand away and rubbed his reddened cheek. 

“I told you to stop doing that,” Sam grumbled out, acting like he was irked by it, but you could see a hint of a smile on his lips. 

“Awe, but it’s so cute seeing you all flustered.” You pouted before planting a quick kiss on the cheek you just pinched. “All better now?” 

Sam ducked his head down as a bashful smile grew on his face. You grinned at his shyness; you found it so endearing even after the two of you had been dating for a couple of months. 

“So, you’re here early.” You say as you sit back in your chair. 

Sam looked back at you and swiped the hairs that were falling into his eyes. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you before your shift ended.” 

“Well,” You glanced down at the watch Sam was wearing. “My shift is officially over now. But what’s up?” You asked him as you started to clean up the front desk of some of the homework you were working on. 

“I just wanted to know if you’re going back to your parents for the weekend?” 

You shook your head as you zipped up your backpack. “No, I’m swamped with homework and studying, so I told them that I’d visit next weekend.” Even if you were craving a home-cooked meal from your mom and wanted to see your parents, you needed to finish the work that your professors had assigned. 

You slung your backpack over your shoulders and rounded the desk to stand in front of Sam. You took a glance at the clock hanging on the nearby wall and winced. 

“I hate to cut this short, but I have to go and warm up my food if I want to eat before my last class.” You internally groaned at the thought of being stuck in a two-and-a-half-hour lecture. 

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but you had pushed up on your toes and pecked Sam’s lips before leaving him, clocking out, and leaving the library. What you didn’t see as you left was Sam shaking his head and smiling to himself as he went further into the library to study for a bit before heading back to his dorm. 

After speeding into the dining hall to warm up the leftovers you had from last night in the microwaves, you sat down at a table to eat but also worked on your homework. You were periodically looking at the time on your laptop to make sure you had enough time to eat and make it to your class fifteen minutes before it started. Once you had finished your dinner and most of the homework you were working on, you made your way to your next class. 

It was a short walk from the dining hall to the classroom where the lecture was being held. You went into the room, and it was empty. You felt your eyebrows furrow. There are usually some people in here already. You thought to yourself as you decided to leave the classroom.

A flash of white caught your eye as the door to the classroom closed, and there was a notice that today’s class was canceled. You let out a sigh of relief, but you could feel irritation brewing in your chest as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.  

The urge to let out a frustrated scream was at an all-time high, but you managed to turn away from the sheet of paper that seemed to mock you and left the building. The cool September air hit your heated cheeks as you walked through the quad, trying to tamp down the irrational emotions that were bubbling up to the surface. 

As much as you liked that class was canceled, you were mentally prepared to be in the room for a good two hours. Getting that heads up fifteen minutes before class was supposed to start was just the cherry on top of your already long day. You had a feeling that if you checked your student email, your professor would have emailed the entire class to say that it was canceled. If you were going to be honest, you just wanted to be put out of your misery. 

You were so out of it as you walked through the quad, and your feet led you to Sam’s dorm building. You were able to slip in with no problem, as someone had held the door open for you as they left and made your way to Sam’s room.

You tiredly knocked on the door. It swung open, and you didn’t even bother greeting your boyfriend as you brushed past him and into his room. You slung off your backpack, landing haphazardly on the ground with a quiet thud. You kicked your shoes off before launching your tired body face-first onto his bed. 

You felt the bed dip as Sam sat on it and placed his hand on your head. “Uhh, not that I’m not happy that you’re here, but I thought you had class right now.” 

You groaned loudly into his pillow, the noise muffled by the fabric, and you sat up on his bed, his hand falling from your head as you moved. You adjusted yourself so you were sitting in the middle of his bed with your knees pulled to your chest as you looked at your slightly confused boyfriend. 

“It got canceled.” You grumbled out as you picked at the hole in your jeans. 

“Hence why you’re here?” Sam moved his hand from the bed and wrapped it around your ankle, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the exposed skin. 

You nodded, and Sam hummed in response. “Long day?” He asked as he looked you over, seeing how exhausted you were. 

“You don’t even know half of it.” You huffed out before falling sideways on his bed, your head hitting his pillow. 

Sam frowned. He didn’t like seeing you upset. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I think if I talk about my day, I’ll need you to shoot me point blank.” 

Sam’s eyebrows raised high as he looked at you surprised. “Uh, I’m not going to do that. But talking about it might make you feel better.” 

You shook your head as you reached for his wrist and tugged him towards you. “I don’t wanna. Just want to cuddle right now.” 

Sam huffed a laugh through his nose as a small smile grew on his face. He let you tug him closer and climbed on the bed. Sam settled on the bed next to you as you kicked your feet out from their curled position and shuffled closer to him. Your legs intertwined with his as he wrapped an arm around your waist. 

“Lift your head for me.” Sam murmured to you. 

You did as he said, and he wrapped his other around your head, cushioning it as you laid on his bicep and his hand rested on your back. Once you both were settled, you let out a contented sigh as you stared at Sam’s hazel eyes. Your face was so close to his that you felt his breath fan over your face. 

“Did I interrupt your studying?” You asked him with a quiet voice, realizing that you very much could have distracted him because of your moody attitude. 

He shook his head. “No, I had just finished when you came in.” Sam gave you a half smile before tipping his chin up to kiss your forehead. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your day?” He muttered against your skin. 

“No, I’d much rather hear about yours.” 

Sam pulled back slightly and raised an eyebrow at you. “You sure?” 

You nodded. You felt marginally better from when you came in as you were in Sam’s arms. 

Sam’s expression was one of ‘okay then’ before he jumped into talking about his day, and you listened to your boyfriend with a slight smile on your face. You snuggled deep into his embrace and eventually moved your head to rest in the crook of his neck. 

“Are you still listening?” Sam asked as he felt you smile against his neck. 

“Mhm. Just keep talking.” 

Sam let out a small chuckle at your antics and continued to talk about what he had seen while walking to his last class of the day. You breathed in Sam’s comforting scent; the notes of citrus, mint, mahogany, and something that was just distinctly Sam filled your senses, and you could feel the tenseness leave your body. 

Sam was still talking, but you weren’t exactly listening, and you couldn’t resist kissing the small freckle on his neck. He suddenly stopped talking as you planted soft kisses on the warm skin of his neck. Sam let out a soft noise as you nipped at his pulse point, moved his hand that was on your back to your neck, and pulled away from you slightly. 

“What are you doing?” You could see the corners of Sam’s lips twitching as he asked you the question. 

“Kissing your neck.” You stated it as if it was obvious because it was. 

“What happened to listening to my day?”

“Can’t I multitask?” 

Sam laughed at the serious face you made as you said it, and you couldn’t help but break your serious facade and laugh along with him. Your foul mood was finally melting away. 

Sam rested his forehead against yours as he calmed down, staring deep into your eyes. “I love you.” He said softly. 

You couldn’t help the tender smile stretching across your lips. “I love you too.” 

Sam grinned before kissing you. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into the warm feeling of Sam’s soft lips against yours. The hand that was on your neck had moved to cup your cheek, and his arm tightened around your waist as he deepened the kiss. The world faded around you as you got lost in Sam as he moved his lips against yours. Sam managed to push you on your back as he was slotted in between your legs. Your hands found themselves in his hair as the soft kiss turned into a passionate makeout. 

Sam consumed your senses as his tongue swiped your bottom lip, and you let him in with a little fight as his tongue played and swirled with yours. A slight noise that was akin to a whine left your lips as his lips left yours. Sam didn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours, but you realized that you were out of breath, and the two of you were panting against each other’s lips.

A blissful smile was on Sam’s face as he hovered over you. His lips were slightly swollen and slick with spit from the two of you kissing, and you couldn’t help but kiss him softly. Sam smiled against you before melting into your kiss. The kiss didn’t last long as you pulled away, Sam chasing your lips for a moment, making you let out a little giggle. Sam’s eyes were alight with joy as he heard your laugh. 

Sam couldn’t hold back and planted soft kisses on your forehead, nose, and cheeks before giving you a sweet but chaste kiss on your lips and pulling away from you. You all but sunk into the affection that Sam was showering you in, but then you started to pout when he moved from on top of you to next to you and pulled you into his side. 

He kissed your temple before the two of you settled in comfortable silence, content with just being by each other’s sides. You had no clue how long you guys stayed like that until you dozed off in Sam’s arms. The last thing you remembered before you fell asleep was Sam's lips on your cheek and wrapping his arms tighter around you. 

[nina-ya]

Happy Birthday - Law Edition

A/N: this is single-handedly the most self indulgent fic Ive done in a while so uh yeah anyways bye Pairing: Law x Reader CW: None WC: 2k

“Happy Birthday!” 

The joyful shout rang through the room, jolting you awake from your mid-day nap. Your eyes fluttered open to the smiling faces of your crewmates who gathered around your figure with infectious grins. 

You blinked, trying to make sense of the scene before you. Streamers in vibrant shades of various colors draped from the ceiling, balloons bobbed merrily in the corners, and confetti showered down on you, all combining to paint the room in a riot of colors.

“What–?” you began, your voice thick with sleep, but your words were swallowed by the laughter and sound of a party horn. The atmosphere was alive and filled with excitement, the joy emanating a celebration that was crafted only with love and care.

Bepo, with his furry face beaming, bounced on his toes, eyes sparkling as he spoke, “We couldn’t wait for you to wake up on your own,” he said, voice filled with eagerness. “We’ve been planning this for weeks!” 

Ikkaku handed you a steaming cup of coffee as she said, with a grin stretching across her face, “We just wanted to make sure you felt celebrated.”

“And it looks like Law is waiting for you with your first gift,” Shachi said, excitement evident in his tone.

The mention of Law piqued your curiosity, and you quickly set down the mug, eyes darting around the room for him. “Law? Where is he?”

Penguin sat on your bed beside you, nudging your leg playfully. “He’s been waiting for you to get ready. He should be somewhere on the deck.”

Surprised flitted across your face, and you scrambled out of bed, dashing to the small bathroom of the Polar Tang to quickly toss yourself together. A few hurried adjustments later, you made your way to the deck, spotting Law standing near the railing. He turned as you approached, a shadow of a smirk playing on his lips as he watched your excited figure approach.

“Hey,” he greeted, voice as steady as ever. “I wasn’t sure what to get you, so I thought it would be best if you picked something out yourself. How about we spend the day shopping?”

You blinked, momentarily taken aback by the idea, “Really? You didn’t have to do that, but I would love to!”

Law nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. “I figured it would be more enjoyable if you chose something you really like. Plus, I thought it would be nice to spend some time together.”

With a nod, you fell into a step beside him as you left the Polar Tang, and made your way into the inner city of the island. The marketplace of the island was alive, filled with stalls that offered various trinkets and items. You meandered through the endless rows of vendors, each presenting their products with enthusiasm. Street performers drew crowds to their lively performances, the smell of the street food wafted through the air making you salivate with an eagerness to try everything. As you explored, you found yourself drawn to a smaller shop brimming with trinkets and Law watched as you admired all the handcrafted figurines and jewelry. 

The hours passed, the sun already inching across the sky by the time you both made your way back to the Polar Tang. The day had been nothing short but delightful. You carried a small bag filled with a few selected gifts, all paid for by Law, of course. 

You inched closer to the ship and you noticed the crew’s unusually quiet demeanor. You were curious, but brushed it off as nothing more than fatigue from the day’s tasks. Law walked beside you, his expression unreadable, though there was something in his eyes that suggested he knew something more than he was letting on. 

Upon entering the ship, you were greeted by darkness, and as you descended deeper into it, the lights suddenly flickered on, and a chorus of voices erupted in unison yelling, “Surprise!”

The crew transformed the Polar Tang into a vibrant celebration space, adorned with those same streamers and balloons that you had woken up to, along with a large banner stretching across the ceiling, reading “Happy Birthday!” in bold letters. You spotted a table filled with nothing short of a feast, and music began to play as the festive atmosphere was cranked up to a maximum. 

The party got underway and laughter and conversation filled the air. You were swept up in the festivities, moving on from one group to the next. At one point, you found yourself pulled into a less-than-graceful dance with Bepo. The two of you twirled and spun around the submarine, your laughter ringing out over the music as your fellow crewmates clapped along. It was a moment of pure unfiltered joy.

Everywhere you turned, there were reminders of the thoughtfulness that had gone into the celebration. The party soon moved to the deck of the ship, now laughing and enjoying the festivities under the moonlight.

As the night wore on, you felt a gentle tug on your arm. You turned to find Law standing there, his expression softened by your unbridled happiness. ”Mind if I steal you away for a moment?” he asked, voice raised to carry over the lively chatter. 

You nodded, and Law gently tugged you away from the buzz of the birthday festivities, leading you to a quieter and more secluded corner of the ship. The lanterns that hung off the side of the Polar Tang enveloped the two of you in a warm, ambient light as the laughter and chatter of the party grew distant.

You glanced around, every nerve in your body alight with happiness. “This has been the best birthday I’ve ever had, without a doubt,” you began your voice becoming thick with emotion as you spoke. “I’ve never had anything like this before. It feels… It feels like a dream. I never knew how much I needed this, how much I needed all of this.” 

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions as you continued, “It’s overwhelming. I don’t even know how to put it into words. This whole day, everything… It’s been perfect.” Your voice had cracked slightly, and you wiped at the corners of your eyes, trying to keep those tears at bay. “It’s as if I was drowning, and being with everyone, with you, is just like coming up for a breath of fresh air. I-I don’t even need anything more. This has been just a perfect day.”

Law watched you, a soft, almost wistful smile on your lips. The sight of you so vulnerable and so emotional just pulled on his heartstrings. You were absolutely precious to him and he couldn’t help but want to protect this version of you. To keep you this happy forever. “I wanted to give you something,” he said, his voice quieter as he seemed to dive into something more personal.

You looked up at him, curiosity panging at you alongside the rest of the overwhelming mix of emotions that were about to spill over. “Wait, wait, I thought the shopping spree was your gift to me.” 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t get you a proper gift?” he asked, chuckling.

“I- You… you didn’t have to get me anything,” you whispered, your voice breaking. 

Law reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box wrapped in a red wrapping paper with your name inscribed right in the center. As he handed it to you, your fingers brushed slightly against each other, the contact sending goosebumps up your arms. The sight of the gift caused the tears to start falling, the dam of emotions finally bursting. 

“Hey hey,” he said softly, a chuckle escaping his lips as he watched you with mild concern. “You haven’t even seen the gift yet, and you’re already crying. Am I really that bad at this?”

You laughed through your tears, embarrassment evident in your response. “It’s not you. It’s just… everything. It’s too much”

Law’s grin widened, and he shook his head, urging you to unwrap the gift. “Well, I’m glad I could make you cry, I guess. Here-- open it before you become a total mess.”

You looked down at the box and your tear droplets had stained the wrapping paper a deep maroon. Carefully, you began unwrapping the gift at the seams, revealing a small, black box. You opened the box to reveal a bracelet, its delicate silver chain catching the soft light and shimmering against the velvet interior. 

Law took the bracelet from the box with careful fingers, and you extended your wrist towards him. He gently wrapped the bracelet around your wrist, the cool metal contrasting the warmth of his fingers as he fastened the clasp, the charms tinkling softly as they settled into place. “Everyone got to help pick out some charms,” Law said, holding up your wrist and gently rotating it to show off the bracelet. You looked closely and saw the array of charms, each one a gift from your found family. There was a polar bear, a whale, a penguin - each representing some of the members of the crew - and others that you realized reflected your personal interests.

“These I picked myself,” Law continued, pointing to three charms that lay by each other. He grew a bit shy as he started to explain their significance. “The national flower of the island where I first met you,” he said, pointing at a floral charm. “A firework, for the night at that festival where I took you because you begged for days on end,” he added with a small smile, pointing to the second charm. Finally, he gestured to the last one, a tiny depiction of a moon. “The phase of the moon when we first kissed.”

You looked up at him, sniffling as confusion overtook your teary features. “First kiss? What? I’m confused.”

Law glanced up at the sky, prompting you to follow his gaze. There, hanging in the night sky, was the moon in its waxing gibbous phase, mirroring the smaller charm on your bracelet. The pieces started to click in your head as you looked back at him, realization dawning.

He spoke up, his voice soft yet steady. “Tonight. If you’ll let me.”

You blinked, caught between disbelief and the rising emotions that made your heart race in your chest. The realization of what he meant – what he was offering – washed over you and it was as if the universe had aligned for this one moment. 

His eyes met yours and there was a vulnerability present, the unanswered question hanging between the two of you. You found yourself nodding, and without breaking eye contact, Law took a small step closer, the space narrowing until you could feel the heat radiating off his body and the scent of him overcoming your senses. His hand reached up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing lightly against your tear-dampened skin. 

Law leaned in slowly, giving you time to close the gap if you wished, but you eagerly met him halfway, your lips lightly brushing against his in a gentle touch that sent shivers down your spine.

The kiss was soft at first, a hesitant exploration of each other. But, as you leaned into him, your hand having found its way to the nape of his neck to tangle in his hair, it deepened, the initial hesitancy giving way to something more fervent.

The gift box in his hand dropped to the ground with a thud, and he circled his arm around your waist, pulling you close. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, time standing still, as the kiss unfolded. His lips were soft against yours, moving with a gentle insistence that left you breathless and demanding more, the taste of him intoxicating, making your head spin.

When you finally broke apart, the need for air becoming unignorable, you both lingered for a moment, foreheads resting against each other as you caught your breath. The night was alive around you, the sounds of the party fading back into awareness, but for that one moment, there was only you two.

“Happy birthday,” he murmured, a soft smile playing on his lips as he leaned in once again, capturing your lips in another kiss that was more heated than the last. 

This certainly was the best birthday ever. 

[cheolhub]

YOU GET ME SO HIGH — VERNON CHWE ࿐

summary. smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.

wc. 6.2k

warnings. recreational marijuana use!!, dubcon (kinda? sex while high), bf2l + idiots to lovers, kinda fluffy!! weed is referred to as ‘green crack’ several times lol, fingering, hehe big d!ck!vernon, mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex, pet names (baby), brief tit worship, naked confessions, vernon is kinda shy, jealous, nervous & rlly likes boobs and reader is v needy lol <3— MINORS DNI 18+

note. havent seen anyone write for vernon in like 3 years so here’s my lowkey cringey, poorly-written, self-indulgent fic that i was supposed to post for his birthday 2 months ago ++ guest appearance from weed dealer!cheol bc yeah :3

if you had told vernon that his best friend was someone he’d met in a biology lab–one that he was accidentally put into his freshmen year– he’d say you were a liar. nonetheless, it’s true– you’re his best friend and you have been for years now. in your fourth and final year of university, you still sit on the balcony of your apartment with him like you have every other day for the past three.

“happy birthday, vernon,” you smile cheekily, passing him a snack-size ziplock baggie. “i got you an eighth since you’re always begging to smoke my shit.” 

he laughs and gives you a lazy smile, “Y/N, my birthday was over two months ago… plus, you know you didn’t have to get me anything.”

you scoff, rolling your eyes, “hansol vernon chwe, you are my best friend, of course i had to. and… i was waiting for a few of my checks to hit, that's why it’s a belated birthday gift.” you take his hand, placing the bag into it. “now take it and don’t smoke it all in a day, got it?”

he nods, eyes softening, “thank you,” he says. “must’ve cost your broke ass a fortune, though, so next time– don’t get me anything.”

you giggle at the joke that’s actually, not really a joke. “i really don’t think you have any room to speak– who here has a real job?” 

he rolls his eyes, “my job is real, thank you very much.”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “reselling limited edition vinyls for seven times what you bought them for isn’t a job, vernon, that’s called being a dick.” you tell him. “and actually, the prices weren’t too bad. cheol gave me a discount.”

vernon almost visibly clenches at the name of your awfully-sweet dealer. though he can attest, cheol is only ever sweet to you. every time he’s bought from your favorite supplier, he’s been a total asshole and upcharges him for no reason which is one of the basis’ why he’s always smoking your stuff. you always tell him it’s karma for selling records at such a high price, but vernon begs to differ. he knows that cheol just doesn’t like him and he has a gut feeling that it’s because of you. 

“oh yeah? how’d you get him to do that?” he asks, but he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. the answer being cheol has a thing for you.

you bite your lip, looking over your apartment balcony. “mmm, he showed up here while i was… you know…playing around…and…”

vernon knows you well enough to finish your sentence for you. “masturbating?”

“vernon, be modest!” you whine, hiding your face in your hands. “you knew, you didn’t have to say it!” 

he chuckles, “it’s normal, Y/N, we all do it. no need to be embarrassed over it.”

it’s true. everyone does it. but not everyone masturbates thinking about their best friend. he thinks that might just be him. 

“yeah, but you’ve probably never done it thinking you’d be finished before your hot drug dealer shows up at your apartment.” you blush. vernon doesn’t say anything for a while and you’re afraid you’ve made him feel uncomfortable (even though he claims you never have). you bite the insides of your cheeks before uttering, “can you pack a joint or something?”

truthfully, vernon doesn’t mean to be so quiet. he’s just trying to imagine you in that state without letting his dick get hard, though it’s proving to be extremely difficult. you probably looked so pretty in cute short shorts and a shirt that you could see your nipples through. or worse, you were wearing a tank top that was snuggly wrapped around your torso where you could see everything. he wants to be a gentleman, wants to be respectful… but, god, your tits are out of this world.

he hums trying to rid the dirty images in his head, taking your box of goods to grab the grinder and paper cones. “finish your story.” he urges.

you look at him, searching for signs of discomfort, but there is only that stoic look he always wore. with a sigh, you continue, “anyway, i was… you know… and he texted me and said he was here– i was a mess–”

he can imagine.

“–and i think he could tell ‘cuz when i got down to his car i was so disheveled and was about to start crying. i literally looked like i got edged or something,” you mumble, twiddling your thumbs out of embarrassment.

you’re painting a picture for vernon and he has to bite back a groan. 

it’s not the first time you and vernon had talked about sexual things. there had been several conversations on the topic. he knew almost everything about you except for… you know… what you tasted like and how tight you are– his vivid imagination couldn’t give him all of those pleasures. 

“and, vernon, i kid you not, he literally knew. he was all smug and shit,” you groan. “it was kinda humiliating.”

you remember how much wetter you’d gotten the moment you slipped into his car. he was calling you all types of things– all types of pretty pet names–and you’re genuinely surprised it didn’t escalate further because the sexual tension was heavy.

“and then i told him i wanted a quarter– an eighth for me and an eighth for you– and he told me he’d give me a special strain of sativa for half the normal price.”

vernon’s eyes widened, “half the price?”

“that’s what i said!” you exclaim. “pretty sure it’s because he could see my tits… i wasn’t wearing the best outfit …”

of-fucking-course he could see your tits. vernon holds back a groan, seeing as his suspicions about you in a tank top that night was right. instead, he chuckles airly. “now who needs to be modest.”

“stooop, just grind the weed.” you cry. 

vernon does as you ask, muttering, “maybe he laced it.”

“cheol wouldn’t, i’m pretty sure he just likes me.” you humbly reply, shooting daggers at your best friend for even suggesting that. “plus the strain was called ‘green crack’ or something like that… it was from the ‘st. patty’s day special.’”

“saint patrick’s day was like 4 weeks ago.”

“well then he was either trying to get rid of it or my tits must’ve made him feel generous.” you joke, giggling a bit at vernon’s poker face.

vernon is hiding it really well, but he’s filled with so much annoyance. your stupid dealer doesn’t deserve to see you like that. hell, vernon doesn’t even think he deserves to see you like that, but, fuck, he wants to. so badly. seeing you all hot and bothered with your tits on full display would be a dream come true. 

“would you fuck him for free weed?” he asks all of a sudden, making you blush furiously. he knows now that he doesn’t want to hear your answer when your mouth parts in shock. 

“vernon! what kinda girl do you take me for?” you put your hand over your chest as if it’s something you wouldn’t do. you break your facade when he gives you a knowing look, mouth cracking into a grin. “probably, i dunno. he’s kinda scary but i feel like he knows how to please a woman– i can’t say the same about a lot of other men.”

he internally rolls his eyes. cheol doesn’t know you the way he does. vernon could please you, he knows he can. 

he switches the subject back to the packed joint in his hands to keep from spiraling. “wanna spark it?”

you shake your head with a hum, “mmh-mmh, belated birthday boy gets the first few hits.”

he smiles, pulling the joint to his lips taking the lighter, igniting it with the pressure of his thumb. he lets the flame burn carefully through the paper, inhaling a large rush of smoke. he holds it in for a bit before he blows it out– away from your face– creating a white, potent-smelling cloud.

you reminisce while watching him. your balcony is like home to you and vernon. contrary to your neighbor's beliefs, smoking isn’t the only thing you do. you laugh and cry and talk for hours about people you hate and people you love. sometimes, you’ll do homework out here and when vernon is bored at his own place, he’ll come over to yours to keep you company. he provides a comforting presence and never-ending encouragement while reminding you to take breaks.

 it’s where you told him about your puppy crush on soonyoung from your statistics class and it’s where he told you about how he awkwardly lost his virginity to a girl during orientation week. it’s where the two of you are always together– it’s kinda like your place.

and watching him after all these years, you’ve never really realized how attractive your best friend was. well, that’s a lie. you’ve always thought vernon was likely one of the prettiest men to ever walk the earth, but if you truly admitted that, then you’d have to admit to the other things. things like how kind and considerate he is and how he’s boyfriend potential and how you totally don’t have any type of feelings for him whatsoever. it’s not a crush, you constantly have to remind yourself, it’s admiration for your best friend. there’s a difference.

but those admirable traits are things you can’t think about because he doesn’t see you that way. there’s no reason why you should see him that way if it’s not reciprocated. it only makes sense and prevents brutal rejection from the most perfect man on earth, aka your best friend. 

but your not-crush manifests itself sometimes. like when he smiles at you or when he randomly places his headphones over your head and tells you to “listen to this song” or when he spends the night in your bed because he’s too lazy to drive home. it gets harder and harder to hide every day. 

he passes the joint to you with an even lazier grin and you take it, parroting his actions. you let the smoke fill your lungs, hold it there, and exhale, shutting your eyes just as he did. 

and vernon thinks you look like a goddess. how could you make a simple action seem so attractive?

you take your hits, passing the joint back and forth till it suddenly hits you. all at once, you feel your body start to ache, your tummy flipping in anticipation, your mind fogging over leaving your entirety to buzz. you shift a bit and you feel your cunt dampen causing you to let out a sharp exhale.

“you good?” vernon asks, his deep voice filling your ears.

then you look at him. like… actually look at him. his face is a bit tired, his eyes red from the weed coursing his system, and his hair a bit disheveled from running his hand through it too much (this is why he wears the beanies)-- nevertheless, he looks fucking fantastic. 

your usual munchies are replaced with strong, burning sexual desire. just at the sight of your best friend, your pussy is soaking through your panties and your shorts.

“‘sol,” you murmur out the nickname. “do you feel… different?” you ask, eyes fluttering and lips parting.

you’re truly unaware of how seductive you look and how it’s slowly taking years off his life. vernon has been rock hard in his sweats for a solid 15 minutes now. and, yes, he feels extremely different. turned on to say the very least. 

“mmm, a little,” more like a lot. “maybe it’s the strain you got,” he mumbles, implying what he had said earlier was true.

it makes sense that cheol provided you with a strain that feels like you’re smoking a fucking aphrodisiac, but you’re starting to wish you were alone so you could at least do something about it. 

for a split second, you think you might be fine, then you’re hit with yet another wave of arousal, your core pulsing at the ideas that are incessantly popping into your head. ideas of him taking you right now, sitting on his face, sinking onto his cock– it’s too much. 

“vernon,” you say breathily and he freezes, pulling the joint away from his lips. “i… i think…”

you try to think about how to kick him out kindly so you can have some much-needed alone time, but you can’t– you can only think about having alone time with him. alone time that leads to shoving his hand down your pants. 

stop, you tell your hazy brain.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asks, scooting closer to you. 

his scent floods your senses– a mix of weed and his cologne causing sensory overload in your poor brain and aching core. 

he’s internally worried that you’re greening out. though it doesn’t happen as much as it did when you first started smoking, there are rare occasions when you take more than you can handle. 

“c-can… you do me a favor?”

“‘course, anything.”

“vernon… it… i…need your help.” you whimper, leaning into him. “please…feels like ‘m gonna die.”

you’re being dramatic. 

he furrows his brows in confusion, panic becoming apparent on his features. “what hurts, Y/N? how can i help you?”

you take his hand in yours, slowly guiding him to the ache in your body. you gasp when his warm fingers come in contact with your clothed cunt. “here… it hurts here.” you exhale.

vernon has definitely lost it. his hand is between your thighs and your smaller one has moved to tightly wrap around his wrist. you’re a mess– he can feel it. he can feel the warmth radiating from your core, he can feel how you’ve soaked through your panties and how it’s seeped through the thin pair of shorts. he’s holding his breath and he fears he may pass out before getting a chance to touch you like you deserve. 

“y-you’re not in your right mind, Y/N,” he whispers, afraid his voice may betray him. “you smoked too–”

“uh-uh, it’s okay– vernon, it’s okay, i want you… please,” you whimper, grip around his wrist tightening as you buck your hips slightly for more friction. 

you want him. you… want him. 

“but–”

you’re growing frustrated, “if you won’t… then i-i think you should go ‘cuz i need… i need to be alone.”

vernon takes this as an implication that you need to fuck yourself if he won’t fuck you and he’ll be damned if he’s not the one making you see stars. 

so, he asks one more time, “Y/N… are you sure?”

“yes… yes, ‘m sure. ‘m so sure, please, ‘sol,” you beg, using the nickname that makes him fold every time. 

he doesn’t hold back, putting out the joint in his hand and leaving it in the ashtray. his now-free hand cups your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. you moan, eagerly allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth as your hands needily fist at his shirt. 

despite having smoked, vernon’s lips are soft. softer than the lips of men you’ve kissed before. and he still tastes good even with the pungent lemony flavor lingering on his tongue– overwhelmingly good. it seems that he’s just as eager and turned on as you are, too, nearly devouring you whole. you can’t help but fall in love with the heated, now-sloppy kiss.

and vernon truly feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. he’s not sure if this is even real or if the weed has him hallucinating… it wouldn’t be the first time, but you biting down on his bottom lip has him coming back to earth and lets him know that you’re real. that you are very much real and very much grinding on his fingers desperately. 

“vernon,” you pant, pulling him closer by the shirt in your grip. “please, more— feels good, but i need more.” your hazy eyes look into his and you see how they’ve darkened.

“fuck, Y/N,” he groans and his voice has you clenching around nothing. “we need to go inside…”

you’re both sure that this might ruin your relationship, but you decide it’ll be a problem for tomorrow. right now, all either of you can think about is getting off on each other. 

that’s why you’re quick to stand on your feet, holding out your hand for him to take. when he stands, grunting, you pull him into your apartment and leave all of your goods on the balcony without a second thought. 

you drag him to your room before attacking him with another kiss and pulling at the ends of his shirt. you’re a bit disoriented, swaying and stumbling over your steps, but when your legs hit the bed and you nearly fall, vernon’s quick to catch you by the waist. 

“careful,” he murmurs, gently laying you on the plush mattress. you scoot to the head of the bed, laying on your back as you wait for him. 

he takes your expectant face as a sign to remove his clothing and he does so quickly, knowing how impatient you are at this very moment. his shirt comes off and then his sweats, leaving him in boxers where his bulge becomes… apparent.

you have to hold your breath at the dizzying sight of his naked torso and the massive tent in his underwear.

you make grabby hands at him, urging him to come take care of you on the bed. he obliges, getting on your bed, hovering over you while his own head spins. he’s truly unsure if this is actually his real life or if he’s having a dream sent from the gods above. 

he decides not to wait any longer, taking control of the situation by placing his lips on your heated neck. his lips trail down, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your skin, reveling in how you desperately whimper for him though he’s barely doing anything. 

his hands reach for the hem of your loose top– one that might actually be his– pushing it up and tugging it over your head and arms, leaving your chest bare before him. he groans before diving to your tits, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, sucking and tugging at the bud hungrily. 

you gasp at the sight. you’ve never seen vernon so eager to do anything in the time you’ve known him and now he’s making out with your tits as if it were his last day on earth. 

that’s hot, you think to yourself. so hot– you’re so fucking hot right now.

you can’t see it, but you feel his hand come down to your sleep shorts, digging in past the elastic band of both the satin fabric and your cotton undies. his fingers dip into your lips, running them through your soaked folds. 

“you’re so wet.” he hisses. 

you whine at the contact, apologizing softly, “‘m sorry– can’t help it.” 

his fingers find your hole, circling it before easing two of them inside. “don’t apologize, baby. it’s really hot.” he whispers, the pet name slipping past his lips without completely registering. 

you clench and moan at the domestic name. “fuck, ‘sol,” you whimper. “a-again… call me that again…”

his face burns, whispering out, “you like when i call you ‘baby?’” 

knowing vernon, it was meant to sound like a genuine question, but being in the state you’re in, it sounds so seductive… so enticing that it has your back arching. you nod your head, an even darker blush falling over your already-red cheeks. 

you let out a clipped, “yes.” and he just moans, thrusting his fingers in and out faster, digits stretching your tight, gummy walls out to prepare you for his cock. 

he wonders how you could be so tight because, holy fuck, you’re squeezing around his fingers like you’re trying to trap them in there. 

you whine softly, “vernon, please give me more…”

he definitely just fucking died. 

his cock twitches uncontrollably in his boxers, begging to be set free, but he decides to give you another finger instead. vernon knows he’s… a bit on the bigger side, and judging by how you feel right now, there’s absolutely no way he’ll easily fit inside of you. the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 

so he slowly pulls his hand out of your shorts and helps you out of them. he throws them to the side and has you spread open. he huffs at the sight before taking three of his fingers back to your hole. he pushes them in gently, groaning at the tighter fit. your moans are bouncing off the walls and vernon looks up to see your mouth hung open with your head thrown back against your pillow. 

he checks on you, throat dry at the sound, sight, and feeling of you. “i-is… are you doing okay?” and when you just whine, he bites the inside of his cheek anxiously. he remembers your fondness for the pet names from a few minutes prior, so he tries again. “baby… does it feel good?”

and he’s not sure what to expect, but when your body jolts and your hand's fist at the sheets, you get even tighter, clenching around his fingers desperately. you really do have an affinity for being called ‘baby.’ 

your brain is jumbled, intoxicated from the weed and his fat fingers stretching your cunt open. “‘m okay… f-feels so good.” you tell him breathily with a whine bubbling in the back of your throat at the feeling of his fingers pushing further into you. “fuck, vernon– it’s so good.”

and it’s true, you don’t think you’ve ever experienced pleasure this intense before, but you remember your senses are heightened by 10 because of the drug. that ‘green crack’ is insane.

he moans at the confirmation, curling his fingers up and fucking your messy cunt, the palm of his hand bumping against your clit with every thrust. he feels a rush of your honeyed arousal soaking his fingers and he swears he might cum before he can even get his cock in you. 

you gasp loudly when you feel his pace quicken, eyes squeezing shut. an array of mewls and high-pitched whines shamelessly slip past your lips. “oh! fuck, i’m close, i’m so close, vernon.” you warn, wet walls clamping around his curled fingers.

he exhales sharply, voice low when he urges you, “cum for me, baby.”

his voice and harsh thrusts are more than enough to throw you over the edge, stomach knots unraveling. you gush all over his big fingers, pussy pulsing as it’s doing its best to push his digits out, but he continues his ministrations to work you through your blinding orgasm.

feeling you cum may have been the best thing life has offered him. 

“fuck, that’s it– are you okay? did that feel good?” he asks breathily, pulling out his fingers, a string of arousal connected to your hole following them out. he bites his lip at the sight, keeping a moan bottled up. he wants to taste you so bad… and the cum on his fingers taunt him. 

you nod your head, still panting, “w-was so good, y-you’re really good… don’t usually cum that fast…”

“really?”

you shake your head, “t-told you that guys don’t really know what they’re doing most of the time.”

he shakes his head in disapproval, “well… you deserve the best.” 

“... like you?” your heart races and the weed from earlier still lingers like a cloud over your brain. you look at him, the soft light from the moon illuminating his flawless skin. your eyes trail down his torso, eyes landing on the big bulge in his boxers again. 

he chokes, masking the sound with a nervous chuckle, “me? i-i’m not…no.” your eyes widen, realizing you’ve completely misread him, feeling panic flood your body. you quickly shut your legs, arms coming to cover your bare chest. 

he’s quick to notice that you’re starting to spiral, though, so he re-registers what you said and then what he said and his eyes widen, too. his words come out rushed as he attempts to do damage control. “no! not no, as in i don’t see you in that way, but no because you deserve the best and…”

“but… you are the best, ‘sol…” you tell him softly, hugging yourself tighter. “and before you say anything, the weed is wearing off– think you finger-fucked it out of me,” you joke to lighten the mood, but when you see he’s still frozen, you internally cringe at yourself, continuing. “i’m being serious. i’m in my right mind and i’m telling you that you’re the best because you are. you always have been.”

he shudders nervously, “Y/N… don’t.”

you frown at him, turning your head away to look at your window instead, mentally face-palming yourself. “did i make it awkward again?” you ask nervously. you don’t even wait for his response, continuing your anxious ramble. “can you just forget i said anything? and that i made you do this? i…i don’t wanna lose you– i never want to lose you.” you whisper. “you’re my best friend.”

he shakes his head incessantly as if he’s trying to tell you something with the simple action, but you aren’t even looking at him, so he takes a deep, shaky breath. “no, you didn’t make me do anything. i just mean don’t say things like that if you don’t really like me because i…” he trails off and you turn back to look at him, concerned by his sudden halt. “Y/N, i… like you. so much. i have for forever now, but you were always talking about soonyoung or cheol and then there was that whole thing with that pretentious art kid– minghao, i think– i dunno.”

what!?

you look at him incredulously, eyes wide and lips parted in genuine shock, “why didn’t you tell me…?”

he sighed, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “it seemed like i never really had a chance… you’re my best friend, too… and i didn’t want to lose you either.”

you sit up, exclaiming, “but you’ve liked me this entire time and i didn’t even know?!”

he gives you a small grin and a shrug, “what can i say? i’m discreet.”

you scoff, sitting in silence for a few seconds before opening your mouth again. with your voice meek, you say.“i wish you would’ve told me.” you inhale sharply, continuing to hug yourself tightly. “i like you, too, you know… i just didn’t think you liked me back so i tried to not like you– which is really hard, by the way, because you’re annoyingly pretty.”

“sorry, i’ll try to stop being so pretty.”

you playfully slap his bare chest, “i actually hate you so much.”

he jokingly sulks, placing a hand over where you hit him. “aw, baby, you just said you liked me.”

you shudder, body naturally leaning into him as your mind gravitates back to your not-so-innocent thoughts. “i do… and i’d like you a little more if you kept calling me that.”

his breath hitches as you get closer and closer, “yeah?”

“mhm…”

he whispers against your lips, a cheeky smile on his, “you’re such a baby.”

“you’re so mean,” you hum, letting your lips graze his. “am i not your baby?”

he rests his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes for any sign of playfulness. you seem to be serious so he asks, “is that what you want?” he’s nervous you can hear the way his heart is about to pound out of his chest. 

“duh… idiot.”

“okay, cool.” he says nonchalantly even though he’s internally freaking out. “you’re my baby.”

your heart skips a beat and your cunt dampens again at the title, “okay, cool.” you parrot casually as if your heart wasn’t about to lurch out of your chest. “you can… kiss me. if you want…”

vernon utters a soft ‘right’ before finally closing the gap between the two of you. his lips mold to yours and you know for a fact that there is no one else on earth you’d want to kiss. his big hand comes to cup your cheek and you melt under the touch, mouth opening for him to slip his tongue into. 

naturally, the kiss heats up and before long, you’re whining into his mouth, hand blindly reaching for his clothed cock. he groans the second you find the aching hard-on, nimble hands stroking him through his boxers. 

“Y/N,” he pants breathily in between kisses. “are you… sure you wanna… do this?”

you think it’s sweet that he keeps checking on you, and sure, you’re still a bit fuzzy from the after-effects of the ‘green crack’, but you need him to give you what you want. so you nod, breaking from the kiss to lay back in your original position under him. 

“please fuck me, baby,” you beg in the most sultry voice you can conjure up. when he stays frozen, you pout. “hansol, please.”

he curses, quickly getting his boxers off and revealing the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. precum beads at the slit of his flushed tip and prominent veins run through the length. he’s so big, surely enough to have you see stars. you’re starting to feel grateful that he prepped you because his dick would have completely ruined you without it.

“‘s big.” you simply state, bottom lip finding sanctum in between your teeth as you gawk at it. 

“you think so?” he gives you a wobbly smile, stomach-churning at the subtle praise. he moves in between your thighs and spreads you out for him. “is it okay?”

you blush, nodding your head, “mhm, don’t worry,” you tell him. “i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.” 

he nods, huffing softly, “do you have any condoms?”

you chuckle breathily. “not for your size… but it’s okay, i’m clean and safe. you don’t need one. you can pull out if it makes you feel better.”

his throat runs dry– fuck, fuck, fuck. he’s fucking you raw?! how the hell is he supposed to last hitting it raw?! you were already tight around three of his fingers and he can’t even imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock.

he realizes he hasn’t replied in a few seconds when you say his name softly. he sees you growing restless under him and he apologizes and nods again dumbly. 

he runs his tip through your folds, moaning when he finds you’re just as wet as you were earlier. he aligns himself with your leaky hole, slowly pushing himself inside of you with a groan to find that you’re still so fucking tight.

you’ve found that, despite vernon’s laid-back and chill personality, he’s quite loud in bed. he’s nothing like you expected and you’re pleasantly surprised. 

when his cock slides in between your tight walls, the both of you are instantly a mess, panting and moaning in pleasure. your walls envelop him so snugly that you fear the thick veins that adorn his length will imprint into them.

“fuck, vernon.” you moan, praying the burn in your pussy melts to pleasure soon so he can fuck you the way you want it. the way you need it. . “your cock.”  

he hisses, pushing in past the resistance. “you feel so good, baby, oh my god.” he grunts, head falling back at the way you hug him. “god, i’ve wanted this for so long– wanted you for so long.”

you cry, clenching around his girth because, god, you’ve wanted him, too.

when he finally bottoms out, you both pause to take erratic breaths, positively going feral over each other. he attempts to recollect himself and check up on you again. “are you–”

you don’t even let him finish, nodding your head vigorously. “yes, vernon, just need you to move, please.” you plead. “need you to fuck me– please, need it so fucking bad.”

you’re so needy for him and he knows it’s because of the last bit of weed that looms, but he can’t help but wonder if you’re like this on a normal day. if you’re always begging for a cock to fill you up. not that it would matter– he’d do anything you asked of him. you’re so fucking pretty to him and his brain is constantly yelling at him to cater to every single one of your wishes. the chokehold you have him in is so tight. 

tight like your pretty cunt that’s now gracefully swallowing his cock with every thrust of his hips. your room is full of panting, moans, and the lewd squelch of your wet pussy taking him. it sounds better than any song he’s ever heard and, if he’s being completely transparent, he hopes to experience this for the rest of his life.

vernon unexpectedly comes down, craning his neck to latch his mouth around your nipples again, stimulating you there, too. you’re sure the position is a bit straining, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he moans loudly into your chest. his hand plays with the other nipple, switching every minute to give both of them love and attention all while his cock steadily rams in and out of you. 

your hands tangle in his hair, smothering his face into your tits while he moans and whines some more into them. 

and when he adjusts slightly and his tip hits that spot, the one that makes you crumble in seconds, a sob wracks through your entire body.

“there! shit, baby, right there, please.” you gasp, back arching into him. 

vernon asks breathily, removing his face from the comfortable spot on your chest, “there? that’s it?” 

and you nod, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as you feel the pressure build-up at the bottom of your tummy. he continues to hit the spongy spot inside of you, bringing you closer and closer. 

his own face is pinched and he can’t stop the soft whines that come out of his mouth. you just feel fucking amazing. 

“a-are you close? i’m not gonna last long.” he pants out. 

and you weakly sob out a reply of ‘yes,’ hand moving to toy with your swollen clit. the action immediately has the tightrope inside of you coming undone for the second time in the night. you mewl out his name, clamping around him tightly and coating his cock in slick cum. 

it’s like a chain reaction that has vernon cursing and pulling his dick out of you. he eagerly fists at his cock, jerking himself off till he releases all over your puffy pussy. he’s moaning softly, prettily calling out your name. his heart pounds rapidly and his entire body twitches at the feeling of release. 

his eyes finally open after a few seconds of trying to regulate his breathing. he sees the way your cunt is dressed in white and how you're slowly, but surely, coming down from both of your highs. 

“hey,” he whispers. 

“hi,” you mumble, eyes fluttering open. your hands reach for him and he can’t help but find you so cute. “c’mere.”

he smiles, leaning down to kiss you again. unlike your past few kisses, it’s soft and innocent. loving. he parts after a minute or so, hand moving to sweep the hair out of your face. 

“are you sure you’re alright?” he whispers. “i feel kinda bad…”

“don’t, ‘sol, i wanted it. i’m really happy.” you tell him sincerely. “are you alright?”

he sighs, “i’m really happy, too… i just wish i would’ve taken you out on a date or something before… fucking you.” 

you shake your head, “we did it kinda backwards, but, seriously, i’m just happy you’re here… happy that you’re mine.” he blushes, moving to hide his face in your neck while you giggle. “if you wanna, we can go on a date now?”

“where?” he mumbles into your neck.

“7/11– channie’s working so that means free big gulps and rollers… you know, since some of us can’t afford to eat real food because of their ‘job.’”

vernon scoffs, pulling his face out of your neck and giving you a stern look. “dude, it’s a real job–”

you laugh, effectively cutting him off. “okay, scammer– if it’s a real job, why are you always stealing my fucking weed instead of buying your own?” 

“because weed is scarce these days and your bitch ass dealer hates me– why should i have to pay $20 for a gram when you only pay $5?” he nearly cries. “and, since we’re on the topic, i don’t like him. he’s too friendly with you.” that’s code for “he obviously wants to fuck you.”

“you’re jealous of cheol!”

he groans, rolling his eyes, a tiny pout appearing on his face, “so what if i am?”

you coo, “aw, baby,” hand coming to cup his blushy cheek. “you don’t have to worry about him,” you relay to him, voice laced with sincerity. “you’re the only one i want.”

he goes a little bug-eyed at your words before clearing his throat and nodding. “good. that’s good.” 

you raise an eyebrow, “just good?” 

“no… it’s great…” he mumbles cutely. “you’re also the only one i want.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Being Wallace Wells' Trans Boyfriend

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

EDIT: Although this fic was written with a more binary trans reader in mind, I'm hoping this fic will also be suitable for AFAB nonbinary people who are masc or male adjacent, which is where I might be at. I'm currently working dating hcs for Wallace with a nonbinary reader (which will be suitable for both AFAB and AMAB readers).

Relationship(s): Wallace Wells x transmasc!reader (romantic)

Warnings/info: Trans typical stuff, like dysphoria, transphobia etc. etc., sexual remarks, he/him pronouns for reader, headcanons were written in one sitting, when I was feeling not great. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: I've been reading a lot of Succession fics over the last few days. Last night I read a Roman Roy fic and for some reason it gave me this overpowering wave of dysphoria that I still have yet to fully recover from. Annoyingly, I have yet to actually watch Succession so this could have been avoided; I just think Kieran Culkin's hot and very gender so I couldn't resist pretending that someone with his face was my boyfriend. Reading about Roman made me think 'oh shit. Maybe I'm a flawed and pathetic little guy on the inside. But I just look like a woman who likes to kiss women and everyone treats me like a girl and uses my girl name and girl pronouns and that feels super gross and makes me want to live in a hole. Now I'm going to feel bad about that for the next few days.' So, yeah, I'm having another transmasc crisis that I'm using fanfiction to get me through. I figured Kieran Culkin started this, so I might as well write something featuring a character of his that I can actually write for. This is a self-indulgent and self-explorative treat for myself, but I hope that transmasc readers can enjoy this, too. If you'd like more Wallace stuff, trans stuff or Wallace AND trans stuff, feel free to send in a request. I really want to provide more fics for transmasc readers because you guys are super underrepresented (and, y'know, Papa Gonzo-rella wants to explore his gender a little more). Also, I swear that I will get around to watching Succession, and I more than likely will end up writing for it when I do.)

Respectfully, Wallace does not give a shit that you’re trans.

Of course, he doesn’t flat-out ignore it, because it’s part of who you are, but it isn’t an obstacle in your relationship by any means, and it doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

If you’re feeling dysphoric and/or otherwise insecure about yourself, he’ll pinch your cheeks and tell you how handsome and sexy you are.

If you’re feeling especially bad, like ‘not getting out of bed and hiding from the world’ bad, he’ll keep you company and say what he can to reassure you.

Being mushy and sincere truly isn’t his thing, so whatever he says will sound either slightly insensitive (but still pretty sensitive as far as Wallace goes), facetious or like he wants you to get over how you’re feeling so he can fuck you.

But, he genuinely doesn’t want you to feel bad and you can tell he cares, because otherwise he wouldn’t be there for you when you're feeling your worst.

Wallace is very affirming, but in his own Wallace way.

He lovingly refers to you as his lameass boyfriend.

If Scott ever compliments you about anything, Wallace will call him gay.

He will shout ‘gay’, like the Senor Chang meme.

"Hey, man, I like your shirt-"

"Ha, Scott's gay!"

"I-I'm not gay! I just like his shirt."

"What's wrong with being gay, Scott?"

"Nothing! There's nothing wrong with being gay!"

"You really need to work on your internalised homophobia, Scott. To think, my gay lover and I share a bed with a bigot."

If you’re doing anything that he knows will make you dysphoric or exacerbate your dysphoria (for example, scrolling through social media and looking at cis dudes that give you gender envy) he’ll shut it down.

Using the aforementioned example, he’ll snatch your phone off you and close the app, saying: “Nope. Make better decisions.”

And, while you’d initially be annoyed at him for grabbing your phone, you will appreciate it in the long run.

If you have testosterone shots but you’re not a fan of doing them yourself, he’ll begrudgingly help you with them.

He will make a very Wallace comment, though

“Stabbing? I didn’t know you were that kinky.”

If anyone’s a dick to you about being trans, Wallace is always ready to go with a snide remark about the other person, because of all the things you could possibly mock his lameass boyfriend for, being trans is at the bottom of that list.

(He should know, as the person who makes fun of you the most.)

Also, he cares about you very, very much and he doesn't want people being transphobic to his boyfriend.

If you’re cool with it, he will make trans jokes, but nothing ‘attack helicopter’ or ‘attack helicopter’ adjacent, because he’s too clever for that and he can come up with better material that isn’t just derivative, transphobic garbage.

If you get your period and it makes you at all dysphoric, be prepared for this exchange:

“Don’t worry. Scott pissed blood last month and cried about it and he’s still a man.”

“Did-did he go to the doctor?”

“I don’t know. He seems fine now, though.”

If you still have boobs and don’t mind them being touched or otherwise acknowledged, he will use them like a pillow.

If you decide to get top surgery, he will make the following request:

“Well, if you’re not using them, can I have them? I need a pillow that Scott won’t steal. And, he wouldn’t steal your tits, because he knows I’d call him gay for it.”

“Why are you like this, Wallace?”

“Selfish.”

Being trans doesn’t make your relationship much different from any of Wallace’s other relationships.

You’re just, for better or worse, another one of Wallace’s boyfriends.

[majesticwren]

this took me weeks to complete. I am now exhausted. don't come at me, it might be poorly executed. it is 10k of plotless, self-indulging, poly smut and I am not ashamed, thank you, bye. it is a stand-alone one-shot for now but there might be more coming, I am not done with Fletch and Will at the moment I'm afraid. I'm unhinged. edit: it now has a part II and a part III a/n: hi :) me again back at it. I didn't like the first draft of this so I finally went back in and made it a little extra poly/gay with some more chemistry between kyle and will because I needed it. thank you bye 💕

Trigger Warning/s: threesome, smut, poly, unprotected sex (kids, don't follow the fics exaples), everyone is a little bit top and a little bit bottom, a whole lot of consent, chocking, swearing, everyone has a praise kink :)

part II -> | part III -> prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist

The apartment was now quiet save it for some still playing background music and some low chattering of the last remaining people. The party just ended was to be considered a success, but it had finally died out. However, none of the three remaining seemed to be overly worried about the time or the tidying up just yet.

“One of you should be dancing with me,” Erika teased, only pretending not to be paying any attention to the two boys sitting on the floor just a few feet from her.

“Why?” Kyle stretched his long arms across the edge of the sofa he was leaning on, “The view is so much better from here.” The way he looked at her, with his chin slightly raised, lips bent in a satisfied smile and pale eyes twinkling with a not-so-hidden desire somehow reminded her of something forbidden. A shiver crossed her spine, only prompting Kyle to wink at her. 

That’s how it had been between them forever. Endless flirting. Endless teasing. The way she felt for him always made her feel like she could do anything. He was her home. For him she would have fought the world, heck she would have broken it in half if needed. It was a strong feeling nesting into her chest and stomach, always feeding her with extreme confidence.

“And what about you?” She wondered as her eyes slid on the man sprawled on the carpet next to Kyle. 

His head rested on the sofa as he lazily looked at her. A small, confident but dumb smile crossed his lips. He didn’t seem at all bothered to be looking with interest at someone else’s woman. On the contrary, she would have bet he was intrigued. She dared a cheeky smile, hoping it would be enough to fish his interest. 

“Yeah, Billy,” Kyle started, leaning closer to him, though none of the two lifted their eyes from her, which prompted her to keep dancing under their eyes. “What do you think, mate?”

“I think she is gorgeous, bruv.” Will raised his bottle of beer first to her and then to Kyle, who clinked his bottle with it. “And she knows it all too well,” They both chuckled.

“If you are both so smitten by me, why am I all alone here?”  

Both the guys smiled widely, but it was Kyle who pushed himself forward. “Why don’t you come chill here with us instead?” He even offered her a helping hand.

As soon as he got a hold of her, Kyle pulled her down on his lap. 

The moment she realised she may have just fallen into his carefully woven trap was too late. She thought she was the one trying to tempt and tease them, but she was wrong. She wasn’t the only one fishing, clearly. And now she was in the wolves’ den. Not that she had anything against it, of course.

“You think you are so smart, Fletch?” She wondered crossing her fingers behind his neck and hanging off his shoulders.

His smile grew cocky. “I got you, don’t I?”

“That you do.” She bit her lower lip trying to hide a smile as she grabbed his bottle of beer off his hand, stealing a sip. 

With his now free hands, Kyle loosely wrapped an arm around her waist and with the other he fixed a strand of her hair behind her ear, studying her features with the sweetest look.

Sometimes Erika found herself so used to being by his side she would be immune to his prettiness. Other times his charm hit her so violently it made her stupid. And feral. Somehow, it made her want to smother and bite him. Not violently. Only to nibble on his cheeks, down his jawline, following his neck.

Her mouth was watering.

They looked into each other's eyes for a long couple of seconds. No words needed to be said to express the feelings connecting them. Erika was an open book to him, and Kyle had accepted for a long time to share his heart with her. Sometimes they pretended it didn't matter. Erika was used to replying “whatever” anytime he said he loved her. They brushed their love off like it was a joke. But they both knew it was endgame.

Will, next to them, finished up his beer in one single gulp and then he moved. “Right,” he began, “I better be on my way. Thanks for the party, bruv,” Will landed a heavy hand on Kyle's shoulder, giving him a strong shake, though his attention slipped on Erika, “You lucky bastard.”

His deep hoarse voice and thick British accent brushed on her skin. She felt it just as she felt his eyes burning on her. And she did nothing to stop it.

She liked Will. Always had.

He had been a good friend to her, but especially to Kyle and her brother Mark. Effectively, Will had led them through their leap into pro wrestling and she would have always been grateful to him for making the dream of the two people she cared about the most in the world become reality.

But now it wasn't only polite gratefulness or kindness that pulled her towards him anymore. She wanted his attention. There had been some harmless flirting between Kyle, her and Will for some time now. And it just made her hungrier and hungrier for something she never had before. A real craving she felt in her stomach and under her skin for something prohibited and so damn sweet.

She turned over facing Will, still hanging onto Kyle. Her smile was a tempting curve that only grew when she stole the glance Will was sending at Kyle’s lips. “Why are you leaving so early?” She wondered, purring softly, “We aren't done.” 

“You two might not be-”

“Don’t be a party pooper,” Erika wined, cutting through his words, “Stay a little longer. Do it for me,” she then poked Kyle’s chin, “Kyle gets so upset when you aren’t around. Don’t you baby?”

Will smiled softly, his unfocused eyes jumping from one to the other. “God,” a chuckle cut through his breath, “how do you manage to ever contradict her?”

“I never do.” Explained Kyle simply, “She gets everything she wants.”

“I bet she does,” 

“And I do get upset when you aren’t around,” now it was Kyle who was purring, sending Will a just as tempting look. His free hand dared to venture on Will’s knee as the Aussie synched with Erika’s intentions without needing her to speak a word.

Will held his breath, looking dazed for a moment as he looked at Kyle. However, his hesitation quickly melted away, leaving space for a warmer curiosity.

Will’s mile widened from amused to teasing. “And what do you suggest we do then, loves?” His attention lazily dragged back to Erika.

She had a few ideas in mind. A cheeky smile popped on her face, making her blushing cheeks pop.

“Well,” Erika played with Kyle’s shirt collar, pretending to be distracted and not at all with an end goal to reach. “We could play truth or dare.”

“What, like bloody teenagers?”

She nodded hopefully, “Yeah. It’s still fun.”

Both Will and Kyle exchanged a quick look. There was a silent interaction between the two, to which Kyle simply shrugged, prompting Will to chuckle. “Why don’t you just ask me something you want to know?” He wondered looking back at her. “Or tell me something you’d like me to do. To you or to Kyle.”

The way he looked at her made her stomach tremble even more than his words. 

“Ok,” Erika exchanged a quick complicit look with Kyle, before turning to Will once again, this time she dared to slide a hand on his leg, just above where Kyle rested his. “Do you like me, Will?” Her smile was now a weapon. Erika brushed her hand on Will’s strong thigh and would have stopped anytime if he had hinted at her to do so. But he didn't. 

If her words hadn't been clear, the dark desire sparkling in her eyes should have been hint enough. Will awkwardly hesitated turning over to Kyle. 

In response, Kyle shrugged, “Don't look at me, mate. She asked you a question.” He had a cocky, proud smile printed on his lips as he directed Will’s attention back to her.

Kyle was always her partner in crime. That was what he had signed up for. She was a wild card, always been since the day they met. There was no stopping her when she put her head on something. And he was always ready to support her. No need to keep secrets from him. No need to lie. She had her fill and learned her lesson when she almost lost him for good at the beginning of their relationship and then promised “never again”. And had never once let her down. Kyle was always in her corner, willing to give her anything she wanted. And now they were both looking at what she wanted. What they both wanted. 

“C’mon mate, don't leave the lady hanging,” Kyle continued.

Will’s eyes fell on their hands on his leg first and then he finally seemed to gather enough courage to look back at her. “I do,” a small smile finally broke on his lips. He hadn’t entirely defrosted yet, but he was surely game.

“And,” she gently propped Kyle’s chin so he’d move to face Will, “Do you like my pretty boyfriend, Willy?” She pressed her hungry smile on Kyle’s temple, waiting to see Will’s attention move on the Aussie’s face.

When it did, Erika ate up the way Will studied Kyle’s features. She watched avidly as his big eyes eventually landed on her boyfriend’s full lips. 

“I do,” he finally admitted. Not that it was news to anyone. Kyle still offered a massive victorious smile, blushing ever so sweetly.

 “So, I could dare you to do anything,” Erika looked at both boys biting on her lower lip.

“It all depends on how far you are willing to go, love.” Will teased her following with a quick wink. 

Erika was shaken by a heat wave that crossed her skin, into her flesh, gathering through her body just to nest into her abdomen. What has been a fantasy for years was becoming reality all too quickly.

She licked her lips, “I don’t know,” she didn’t lift her eyes from Will as she slid her hands over Kyle’s chest, playing with his shirt. Black was a colour that suited him so well. Not quite as good as green though. “How does all the way sound to you?”

Will’s attention moved on Kyle. He was serious now. “Are you fine with this, bruv?”

The Aussie met him with a cocky, compliant smirk. He hadn’t lifted his attention from Erika. On the contrary, if possible, his pride and affection seemed only to increase. “She does what she wants, mate. I don’t control her.” His eyes crossed her figure, “But I do enjoy the ride.” Once again, Kyle stretched on the sofa, opening his arms up, implying the freedom she had. “And if the ride involves you, that’s just the cherry.”

This time it was the Brit who blushed. The way Kyle winked at Will, meaning all the things always hidden in between their shameless flirting, made Erika’s chest tremble with anticipation.

Erika's attention slid back to Kyle. She melted into a soft smile. Gratitude and affection poured out of her gaze, right into his. She relaxed, sitting back on his thighs as her hands raised confidently across Kyle's neck and to his face. Erika cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer. Kyle was hanging into her touch and welcomed her kiss with a smile. He slid his big hands distractedly over her thighs, establishing contact but still not caging her into a hug.

This time Will looked at them closely. He was still slightly awkward, but his gaze burned with interest that he didn't bother to hide anymore.

Erika let go of Kyle only to turn back to Will, meeting his focused gaze with a teasing smile. Just because she liked to play under his attention, she licked her lips, tasting Kyle's kiss.

“Kiss me.” She finally said, inviting him to move closer.

Before he even dared to breathe, Will looked back at Kyle to check his reaction, only to find complete relaxation from the Aussie. Kyle was still smiling and just nodded at the Brit, laying back on the edge of the sofa. Now, he was the one watching.

Will was still hesitant in the way he crawled closer to her, though she was ready to catch him. Erika slid a hand on his chest, enjoying pressing her palm against his solid flesh. It was the first time she was directly touching him to feel him and they all seemed to react to it. She moved softly, never breaking eye contact with him, somehow afraid she would scare him away. Erika brushed her palm up to the collar of his tee, her fingers toyed with the feeling of its material for a moment before she decided to keep moving up and around the solid column of his neck. 

Will didn't oppose her. 

He may be frozen into hesitation, with his breath shaking and all, but it didn't mean he didn't want it. She could see it in his eyes.

Erika pulled him closer. Her hand moved to his jaw. “Hey,” she whispered, the closest she had ever been to his lips. Their noses were touching. 

“Hey,” he replied just as softly.

For a second it was only them.

Erika smiled. She tasted his breath on her tongue and shivered in anticipation. Her body ached under the need to be touched, even when Will didn’t seem comfortable enough with that just yet.

She was done waiting. She had decided she needed to take things into her own hands and be the one breaking that last small distance between them. So, she did, sealing it with a kiss. It was soft at first, she wanted to leave him the chance to back off. Will barely reacted as they both took a moment to feel each other's lips. She let them all get acquainted with that new dynamic all the while just enjoying feeling Will’s full lips pressed on hers. 

The desire Erika was feeling was undiscovered ground. There was something ravaging in the idea of wanting a man. Another man. Feeling her interest in Will becoming not so dormant anymore and rising, taking over her. But it wasn’t only about Will. It was also being aware that her own man was watching it happen. She wasn’t alone, Kyle was part of it and the freedom and trust he was offering her made her feel all-powerful. 

Just after a good second into that timid, tepid contact, Will seemed to finally defrost. He inhaled deeply her scent and moved forward, embracing her. He grabbed her side, filling his palm up with the material of her top as he clawed at her soft hip. His fingers dug into her flesh as he pulled her closer. 

To the brush of his tongue over her lips, Erika felt her stomach tremble and she was more than happy to oblige. As soon as their tongues crossed, she released a soft sigh. She crossed her arm around his wide shoulders, curiously sliding her fingers into his curly hair. Will’s flavour went straight to her head, whereas for their kiss, she felt it in her lower abdomen. 

Her other hand stayed firm on Kyle’s chest. She needed to keep solid contact with him, not willing to cut him out. And he seemed of the same idea. His hands were stroking her thighs, he had pushed his fingers under the edge of her skirt and was teasing her following the rhythm of her kiss with Will. Erika’s fingers fiddled with the edge of his shirt, loosening up a button just so she could slide her hand under its soft material and feel Kyle’s hot skin burn directly on her palm.

Will was quick to gain confidence. He caged her into his arms, pushing his other arm around her figure. At first, his fingers only brushed on her chest, studying her skin, then his hand wrapped gently around her neck, holding her. The way his thumb crossed her throat in a soft caress made her quiver. He then pushed his entire hand into her loose hair, grabbing it, and making her bend for him as he deepened his kiss.

Any thought Erika may have had was gone. Her mind was pure, hot vapour and she felt like she was melting away in between the two.

Kyle moved. He was done watching. He pulled himself up and got closer to her, enough to kiss the exposed skin of her shoulder. Feeling him, as if Will knew Kyle’s intentions, he moved to grant Kyle enough space to latch on her neck and rolled an arm around the Aussie, placing an open hand on the back of his neck, venturing his fingers in between his hair. 

Erika released a shameless moan into Will’s mouth, not even trying to hide how turned-on she was. Especially when Kyle pulled on her thighs, inviting her to rub against him. 

Erika broke the kiss with Will and turned to Kyle. Their lips connected in a savage kiss. She whimpered and purred tasting both men on her tongue. And she only wanted more. She was hungry. Violently shaken by a deep, dark desire she had never thought she would have felt. It was coming from deep within like a beast awaken. 

She felt Will close to her ear. His breath was hot against her sensitive skin, rippling on her neck, making her lower abdomen react. The small sigh he released, watching her making out with Kyle slid right through her, giving her goosebumps. 

“Fuck-” he whispered just as Erika slid a hand around his neck, squeezing softly.

Kyle, on the other hand, didn’t seem willing to show her mercy. He pushed her skirt high around her waist, grabbing her ass full into his large palms and guiding her firmly to roll her hips against him, bringing her to directly rub against the bulge in his pants. She was already a mess. Erika whimpered as her body was crossed by pure pleasure, only prompting Kyle to reward her with a moan of his own.

She pushed her free hand under the collar of Kyle’s shirt and across his wide shoulders, where she had no shame digging her nails. 

All too suddenly, Erika broke her kiss with Kyle and gently pushed both men off her, leaving them all breathless. Her hands slid on their chest, both to keep feeling them and to halt them, even if for a moment. She looked at them both, trying to soothe their puzzled looks.

“Are you ok, love?” Will studied her features trying to read an answer on her face. His attention then slid on Kyle, to check if he was ok too.

She nodded. “Yes, more than ok,” she stroked both men tenderly, offering a grateful smile. Her attention then moved on Kyle. “I feel we are going in a certain direction, aren’t we?”

“Too soon?” The Aussie wondered, stroking her legs, this time in an affectionate, encouraging way.

“Oh, well-” Erika chuckled, trying to catch her breath, she looked at him and then back at Will, “Yes. But, it’s good. I like that direction.” 

Both guys smiled bright and proud, just as if they had received a golden star. They looked at each other and, once again, they talked without words. 

“I guess we like that direction too, then.” Explained Kyle, finding confirmation in Will’s nodding. 

“We are talking about shagging, aren’t we? I am not misunderstanding?” Sometimes Will could be so strikingly smart. And sometimes he could be dumb as a rock and still, he’d just as easily win hearts all the same.

Erika rolled her eyes, struggling to hide an amused smirk. “That is such an ugly word, Billy.”

“Is it?” Will smirked, pushing a finger under her chin, making her look at him in the eye. “Is fucking any better.”

A shiver crossed her. “Yeah-” 

Will looked straight into her eyes and she felt like she was getting lost in his gaze. “Is that what you are talking about then? You want to get fucked by both of us?”

Erika tried to suffocate a whimper, which only caused Will to chuckle. Behind his eyes hid all his desire and she seemed to be able to see all the things he wanted to do to her. Another shiver crossed her. 

“I do.” She finally admitted, but before she could get lost in that statement, feeling both men closing on her, Erika held her ground, turning back to Kyle. This time, she needed to have his sole focus. “And I need to know you are with me on this.”

“Baby,” he looked up at her. He was so smitten by her, with his enamoured bright eyes and blushed cheeks, “I’d walk through fire for you. This?” He grabbed Will’s shoulder, giving him a shake, “This is just a fun night to me.”

“Tell me. Tell me you are happy to get into a threesome with me. With us. I need to hear it.” She wanted it desperately, but she had no intention of doing anything that could jeopardize her happiness with Kyle.

Kyle softly cupped his hands around her face, slowly nodding at her. “If this is what you want. And Will is down. Then I am more than fine with it.”

She nodded and then looked up at Will, looking for the same sentiment. “Will?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I mean this is not how I’ve planned my evening to go but I’ll be damn if I let the opportunity go,” he winked jokingly at them both, “I’m in it, loves.”

Erika melted into the widest of smiles and then she leaned in, kissing Kyle first and Will after. Only a quick one before deciding to move. They were done talking for the night.

She got up from the warm cocoon Kyle’s lap offered, holding both the boys’ hands and guiding them up to follow her. She didn’t even bother to fix her skirt or her top. To her, it was just quicker and better to get rid of her clothes entirely. 

Which was precisely what she did. Knowing she had both men’s full attention burning on her back, she decided it was time to give them a show. Erika slowly and sensually started to slip out of her top, moving her body fluidly, like in a slow dance. She then stretched lazily, as if she had just woken up from a nap. Her skirt was next. She let it pool at her feet and stepped over it swaying her hips.

Behind her, she heard Will making a noise so similar to a growl. And Kyle chuckled in response, as the Aussie heavily patted the other on the chest. “You are in for a treat, my friend.”

“No doubt.” 

Erika gave them a quick, cheeky look from over her shoulder, soaking up the worship in their eyes. Being almost entirely naked, save for her revealing panties, was something that made her feel extreme ease under her skin. She liked being naked.

She guided them both into the bedroom and finally faced them with a wide, victorious smile bending her lips. 

She kicked her heels off, finding extreme pleasure in the sudden height difference with Kyle. Will was quite tall too, just not as tall as the Aussie. He slid his hands around her hips, holding her as his fingers toyed with the elastic of her underwear. He looked straight down into her eyes. The pale blue of his irises was as bright as fresh, calm seaside waves. That’s what he felt like to her. Warm like Summer.

Erika pulled him down in a soft kiss and then turned her attention to Will. Kyle was still close enough for her to have her back pressed on his chest.

She wondered what would Will feel like. Would a night be long enough for her to find out what Will made her feel like? She had a suspicion that just like Kyle felt like Summer and fresh, clear seawater, Will would feel like a rainy day in Autumn.

Will’s eyes slid across her body, studying her curves. “You both are fucking breathtaking, loves.” His eyes were dark and glimmering, but what she found most attractive was the pink blushing his cheeks. 

Erika’s smile grew wider. Will’s voice caressed her and nested into her stomach, filling her up with confidence. “Yeah?” She wondered teasingly, sliding her hands across herself. She cupped her breasts, arching her back. Kyle, behind her, sighed in approval. Will’s gaze followed her movements closely. “Like what you see, Ospreay?” She teased.

He raised an eyebrow, “I’d be mad if I didn’t.”

She encouraged him to get closer and then moved her hands to his wide chest looking up at him. He met her with the softest of gazes, his lips bent in an encouraging smile as she felt his eyes crossing her features. “Have you been wanting this for a while, love?” He wondered playing with a lock of her hair, twirling it around his index.

Erika bit down on her lip and nodded. 

“Yeah?” Will pushed on, his hand slid on her face. “With us?”

“Yes,” she whispered, not for timidity but because her breath was short. “I have thought about this moment before.”

“Damn,” Will grinned, exchanging a proud look with Kyle, over her head. When he looked back at her he had a cheeky grin printed on his lips. She knew she was safe, and yet something about the way Will just looked at her made him look somehow dangerous. It gave her a shiver that crossed her from head to toe, only bringing her desire to grow. “Tell us about your fantasy, love.”

She looked at him for a long moment and then raised her eyes to Kyle, who was waiting for her with an encouraging nod. “Go on, we are here for you.”

Erika, for the first time, felt timid. It wasn’t her naked skin making her suddenly aware of being watched and seen, but the idea of revealing something so personal to them made her hesitate and blush. Even under the promise they would have done anything to her heart's desire, she still needed a moment to fight the knot rising in her throat.

They were gonna do it. She was about to give in to her deepest fantasy.

“First,” she said pushing both men off her just so she could climb on the bed. For the first time in her life, she found herself wondering if the mattress would have welcomed three people comfortably. “You both are wearing too many clothes.” Erika pointed out kneeling in the centre of the bed, patiently waiting for the two to undress. She bit on her lip, looking at them both. “And I am getting cold.”

Kyle moved first. “We don’t want that,” he kicked off his shoes and finished to undo his shirt, throwing it on the floor. His jeans followed. Since he moved first, her attention followed him and the skin he was uncovering.

She loved the way he moved, but it wasn’t only his confidence and effortlessness that attracted her like a magnet. It was the way his pale skin moved as his muscles stretched and contracted; it was the way his hair fell on his forehead, and it was in the quietness of his steps.

As he moved across the room she followed his body. Her hungry eyes crossed his entire figure. Erika knew his body well. She knew how his skin felt and tasted. She knew exactly what he liked. She knew what made him tick and assert dominance, and what made him whimper and beg. She knew how he liked to be handled but mostly, how he liked to handle her. And she knew how to behave to please him. He was surprising in many aspects and sex was one of those. Kyle was extremely open-minded. He liked to play and experiment and, especially for that reason, they had tried most things in the bedroom. Probably for that specific reason, she was extremely comfortable with him and also never tired of him. There was something about Kyle that kept her wanting, always, no matter how much pleasure he’d bring her in one sitting.

Agile like a cat, Kyle moved fluidly and reached her side. Biting down on his lower lip, he made her raise her face and look at him pushing only the tip of his index under her chin.

She was completely under his spell.

Kyle stole a kiss and then guided her to look back at Will, leaning his head against hers. 

Will stood stiff in the middle of the room, he was observing them closely. His gaze was hooked to them both, as his eyes didn't miss any opportunity to cruise on their bodies. And yet, some form of soft shyness seemed to hit him. 

Erika giggled, taken by surprise and nonetheless attracted to him. His rosy cheeks made her tremble with the desire to conquer him. She raised an encouraging hand, calling him to her. “What's the matter, Will?” She wondered as she gently pulled him to her. He hesitated as he moved closer to them, holding his breath. When he stopped at the foot of the bed, so close to her, he instinctively looked at Kyle, looking for support, not daring to move another inch.

She knew exactly what he was looking for, just as much as she knew how willing Kyle was, by then, to do his best to make everyone feel comfortable and give them all the night of their lives. She felt the Aussie moving behind her, but before he could do or say anything, she took control of the situation back. 

Erika smiled sweetly, like a doll, knowing exactly how to use all her assets to make men tremble. She dared to get as close to Will as possible and tapped his proud chin, making him look at her instead. “Do you need me to help you undress?” Her tone was low and tempting.

As soon as Will’s gaze fell on her, she felt all the weight of his desire hitting her. Her smile widened as her hands cruised across his wide chest. “Hey,” she whispered softly, “It’s ok,” she encouraged him, never breaking eye contact as her fingers hooked on his shirt and pulled it gently up his abdomen, prompting him. 

He finally seemed to defrost and slipped out of his t-shirt in one fluid move. 

When his chest was left bare, Erika looked down. She had seen him like that many times, but she had never been naked in front of him before. Again, her hands moved avidly on his torso, studying the solid edges of his muscles. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft under her touch and the more she touched, the more of his body she desired to explore and not only with her hands. She looked at her own fingers moving across his abdomen, tracing the edges of his abs. She felt her mouth water as the feral need to nibble on the soft skin on his belly intensified.

When her hands moved down to his belt, she looked back up at him. She whipped out a cheeky smile as she toyed with the edge of his jeans, following it around his hips. Will’s gaze hadn’t moved, he was studying her every feature, still not daring to move.

“You know what my fantasy involves, Will?” She wondered pulling a hand back to reach blindly for Kyle, who was ready to take her arm into his hand and guide her palm to his mouth, as he softly kissed her skin. She shivered.

“Tell us,” Will’s coarse voice was low and rumbled right through her stomach and into her lower abdomen. 

“Touch me.” She ordered, guiding one of his hands to her hip. 

Will didn’t need more than that. His other hand followed and as soon as both his big hands solidly caged her waist, Erika released a satisfied sigh. His hands were rough and yet his touch was careful and warm. 

Unable to keep herself at a distance anymore, Erika pushed herself against him and, pulling on his neck, kissed him. 

Will was quick to act. Every trace of timidity left him. His lips were nothing but welcoming, the taste of his tongue on her made Erika’s head spin. He caged her in between his strong arms and didn’t hesitate to grab her ass, solidly feeling her soft flesh with his hand. Holding her like that, he pulled her towards him, making her pressing herself completely against his chest. A satisfied, low growl left him, as he felt her naked skin and breasts against him. 

As sweet as the idea of letting go was, Erika resisted. She abruptly pushed Will away, breaking their kiss and then slipped off his hold only to fall back into Kyle's hug. 

As he welcomed her in his arms, she snuggled on his chest, sitting back on his lap and letting her head fall on his shoulder. Kyle’s arms moved around her hips as his lips cruised her shoulder. He followed up her neck, prompting Erika to turn and catch his lips, pushing a hand into his hair. 

Kyle’s hands moved across her abdomen and, as he reached for her breasts, cupping both of them into his large palms, she arched her back, pushing her chest out and her ass back into his crouch.

She knew Will was watching and it was inebriating.

“You are still dressed, Will.” She teased, looking back at the Brit and whipping a sharp grin. She leaned against Kyle again, from there, she had a good enough view of the other.

Taking it like a challenge, just like she hoped, Will raised his chin and let her watch as he removed his jeans. There weren’t many things able to make her lose her mind, but seeing such a big, strong, successful guy blushing for her was one of those.

His boxers followed and, once he was naked in front of her, Will raised his chin once more, proudly accepting her curious gaze on his exposed body. 

Erika followed his abdomen and had to bite her tongue not to bark seeing his hip dips. She wanted to sink her teeth in them and leave a mark. Her eyes then, with no shame or modesty, followed the dark happy trail under his belly button and fell on his erection. There was nothing to hide anymore, after all. And still, right there and then she found herself still not prepared to see another man in full, beautiful nudity.

“Is this what you wanted, love?” He wondered, wrapping his hand around his cock, massaging it slowly. “Is it as you fantasised?”

Erika couldn’t take her eyes off him and was so taken she didn’t realise her jaw had dropped. He was big. She had always suspected it, but seeing him for the first time made her suddenly feel empty and desperate. 

She released a giggle, pressing her face into Kye’s neck. “You both will be the ruin of me.”

Kyle softly kissed her temple and then cheek, moving to her ear, pushing her to look back at Will with his face. “Wasn’t that what you wanted, baby?”

“I,” Will began climbing on the bed, “want you to tell us exactly what you want us to do to you,” He got closer to them and softly scooped her face into his palms, capturing her eyes, “I want to know how you like to get fucked, love.”

She replied with a small whimper and just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, Kyle traced a hand to her neck, bringing her to look at him. “What are you in the mood for, baby?” 

Her hands raced to both men, as she needed to hold onto them. Her skin was hot and felt tight around her own body as she desperately needed to be touched, bit and licked. Just thinking about it made her abdomen ache. She felt her loins tortured by the heaviness of her desire.

Kyle kissed her and then looked at Will, exchanging a complicit look. His attention still focused on her. “Do you want to lead? Or would you like us to take care of you?”

Erika nodded, her eyes moved from Kyle to Will, nodding again to him. “You take it. The control, take it,” she said looking up at Kyle, giving him permission to do of her like he pleased and decide if and when to let Will do the same.

“Ok, baby,” Kyle whispered softly, rewarding her with another kiss. Then, his grip around her throat became more assertive. He pulled her against his chest, making sure Will had complete view over her.

“Shall we show Will how good you are, pet?” He wondered to her ear, switching from his more affectionate pet name to the one he preferred using when he was going to be dominant. His eyes still pointed at Will, teasing him, studying his reaction. “What do you think?” Kyle continued, softly nibbling at her neck. “I think Will would like to see what a good girl you can be.”

Her eyelids fell heavy on her eyes as she too studied Will reaction, feeling her skin quiver under the intense laser hot focus he had on them. His eyes followed as one of Kyle’s hands moved on her abdomen and down. When the Aussie pushed his hands in between her legs, they both were left breathless. “Shit, pet,” the way he kept gently and devotedly referring to her with her pet name made Erika’s lose her train of thoughts. “Mh,” Kyle smiled proudly, releasing a low moan, “you are so wet. Soaked your panties.”

Erika trembled under the attentive touch of his fingers, trying to move her hips and have more. “Kyle,” she huffed, digging her nails into his forearm. 

“You should have told us you were such a mess,” he still teased, raising his hand to show Will her juices sticking his fingers. “Do you want Will to touch you like this?” He wondered lowering his hand again, not giving her time to reply. This time, when he reached back, he pushed his hand under her panties, pushing his large fingers through her folds, finding her clit with ease. Kyle smiled like a wolf, moving his attention to Will, enjoying seeing the Brit breathless. 

“Do you hear the noises she makes, Willy?” Just to prove a point, the Aussie left space to the squelching noise her pussy made as he toyed with her. Her soft, sweet whimpers followed. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Will was gone, lost under Kyle’s spell just like she was. “She is. You both are.”

Erika trembled under Kyle’s touch. She was already a mess and he had barely started touching her. Kyle had no mercy either, he was determined to give Will a show. “Say it, pet. Tell me.”

The way Will was looking at her made her skin ache. “I do, I do,” she whined, “please,” 

Kyle took her words like an order and let go of her, looking at Will over her shoulder. A smile crossed them both and, after a nod of acknowledgement, Will took over.

He towered over her, his hands quickly tracing down her hips, gripping on her thin underwear. “You won’t need these, will you, love?” He wondered and, as she replied with a whimper, he ripped her panties unapologetically, giggling to himself. As he pushed his hand in between her legs, Erika climbed his figure, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and dragging him down into a kiss. 

Will pushed his rough fingers into her wet folds and welcomed her heat with a low, pleased moan that vibrated through his chest and straight into her belly. He didn’t give her anytime to get used to him, the pace of his strokes was unforgiving. “Do you want to come?”

Erika nodded, rolling her eyes in the back of her skull, already feeling her abdomen heavily contracting as waves of pleasure crossed her. 

“Nah,” Will wrapped his free hand around her throat and squeezed, “that’s not enough, love. Kyle said you’d be a good girl. So tell me. I wanna hear it.”

“Fuck-” She huffed, digging her nails into his shoulder, feeling herself already coming undone. “Make me come. Please Will, please,”

Will smirked. His grin made his lips bend in a dangerous curl. Merciless, Will stopped stroking her only to look down at her, amused. “Already begging?” He looked back at Kyle, “We haven’t even started with you. Are you sure you can take us?”

“I can take anything you guys have to give,”

“Careful, love, we might take you up on that.”

“Such a desperate mess,” Kyle started, dragging himself closer to her. The moment she realised she was squeezed in between them two it was like she breathed new life, and still, air wasn’t was she needed to stay alive anymore. Not as much as she needed them right there and then. Kyle kissed her shoulder, neck, ear, pushing a hand in between her hair and pulling them, making her raise her head forcefully. “So pretty,” he smiled, still looking at her with the upmost devotion.

“She is.” Will agreed, “Keep her steady,” he ordered and proceeded to go back touching her. Again, his touch was hot and skilled and his pace unforgiving. Kyle did as instruct and held her, ready to catch her as Will pushed over the edge. “Yeah, love, c’mon, come for us,” they both watched her in awe as she came. Kyle pushed a thumb into her mouth, trying to suffocate her loud moans, with not much success. As her orgasm shook her, Will pushed two fingers inside of her. She welcomed that invasion eagerly, moving her hips into his palm. 

“Fuck-” he groaned as her walls squeezed his fingers, “so fucking tight.” Will guided her through her high and then let her catch her breath, as both men held her. He then raised his fingers to his mouth, sucking her juices off his digits right under her eyes. Erika gasped, looking at the way the pink tip of his tongue danced on his fingertips. “so fucking delicious.”

Taken by a ravaging desire, Erika pulled herself up, capturing Will’s lips into a kiss. Tasting herself on his tongue made her whine and purr, feeling as she had just marked him. It was something primal, and she wasn’t ashamed of it.

The moment she caught her breath, Erika moved her attention to Kyle. Now distancing herself slightly from Will, she climbed on the other and found a comfortable nest into his lap. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you still have your boxers on.” She dared, pushing her fingers into his hair, only to move them back on his forehead.

Kyle smiled. “Why? Does it bother you, pet?” He teased her, only prompting her to move her hips on him, rubbing herself intentionally on his erection. 

Not satisfied, she then pushed her hand on the trapped bulge of his erection, grinning proudly up at him. He was so hard it made her mouth water. Knowing he wanted her so bad only fed her ego. “Yes,” she purred, massaging him and enjoying seeing how he moved under her spell. Erika watched his shoulder tensing and his Adam’s apple tremble in his throat. “Especially since I’d like to choke on your cock as Will fucks me.”

“Is that your little fantasy?” As Kyle wrapped his long arms around her, Will was the one who moved closer to them now. 

He softly kissed her necked shoulder, as his hands found her hips. He traced her skin all the way up to her neck with his lips and she could feel he was smiling. “Is it, love?”

Erika had to remind herself to breathe and when she did, she almost chocked, trying to regain focus. She nodded, rolling her head back just enough to look up at Will. “Yes. To begin with,”

Will raised his eyebrows and sent an amused look to Kyle, his smile only widened. “Did you hear your little girl? To begin with, that’s impressive.”

Kyle pushed her hair behind her ear, attracting her attention back to him. “She has stamina. Right, pet?”

Erika gaze became sharper. She looked at Kyle first and Will after and then she kissed them both. “You are driving me insane.” She confessed, “I have never craved sex like I am doing right now. Like a fucking animal. So,” Erika gave them both a soft push, only to get them to give her the space to position herself facing Kyle and giving her back to Will. “I want you both to fuck me until I beg you to stop. Until I fucking cry or pass out. Can you do that?” She wondered pointing both her indexes under their chins. “And I am not being a good girl right now,” she continued, lowering herself on all fours. “I am being very, very naughty and I want you to punish me. I want you to either shut me up or make me scream.”

Kyle grabbed her chin, making her look at him, purposely towering above her. With his thumb he pushed her lips open, toying with her, enjoying seeing how she followed his queue and flicked her tongue on his digit. “Heard that, mate?” He didn’d look away but wasn’t talking to her. 

“Loud and clear, bruv,” Will’s hand followed her hips, prompting her ass up. He wrapped one of his strong arms around her hips, pulling her towards him, rubbing himself against her ass. “You want me to fuck you while your boyfriend watches? So fucking dirty.”

“S-shit, Will,” she breathed heavily, “Kyle.” 

Calling for the Aussie only prompted Will to give her a push, bending her forward in front of him. He slid his hands across her thighs, first the outside and then, his fingers teased her, following her most sensitive skin on the inside, encouraging her. She felt his eyes burning on her skin, “Fuck me, you are perfect, love. Spread those legs for me, let me see your little pussy,” his hands moved around her glutes, spreading them and toying with her flesh.

She was blinded by desire by then. Her mind was fogged, everything she could think about was the cold feeling of air hitting her exposed skin and her aching, empty loins waiting to be filled. 

As she arched her back, in an automatic response, Will sighed in approval, rewarding her with a playful slap on her ass. Then, he pushed his heavy cock on her, sliding it on her wet folds, teasing her clit. Erika whimpered, trembling under him. “You want it. Such a bad girl so desperate for this cock, uh? Who would have thought,” He then proceeded to push a finger inside of her, and then a second, “Fuck,” he gasped, “You are even wetter than before.”

“Please, Will-” as she begged him, her hands opened on the mattress, her arms already shaking under the pressure. She licked her lips. 

A hot wave of pleasure crossed her, making her quiver. She released a soft moan, with her chin still in Kyle grab. She looked up at him, silently begging to get what she asked for. 

“What’s that, pet?” He wondered casually, pretending not to know what she wanted. Kyle pulled on her chin, making her bend between them. “You want my dick? What a dirty, dirty slut you are, begging to be filled both ends by two guys.”

In response, she simply nodded, releasing a choked moan, as her focus slid on his boxers. She was ready to drool, only seeing the underline of his cock pressing heavily in the soft material of his boxers.

Kyle let her go with a ruder push, granting her the freedom to do as she pleased and Erika finally reached for him. She took a moment to toy with him, rubbing her hands on his cock and balls from over his boxers. Erika followed his lower abdomen with her tongue until she reached the elastic of his underwear, it may have looked like she had some patience left, but truth was she was done, she couldn’t wait any longer. She eagerly pulled his boxers down his thighs and grabbed his erection with both hands. As she traced his length with her tongue, Erika looked up, making sure Kyle was enjoying the view.

He released a grunt, pushing a hand into her hair, grabbing a handful. His other hand slid around her throat, grabbing at her solidly. “Are you ready, pet?”

As she nodded to him, Kyle’s attention briefly moved to Will signalling to him the same message. “Fuck her,” he ordered. “Give her exactly what she asked. Be rough, she likes it rough, right pet?” Kyle’s attention slid back on her.

Erika nodded, now entirely submissive, “Yes, please. Please, Will, just give it to me,”

Will pushed a hand up her back, following her spine, pushing her down. “Then, put your face on the mattress, love. Give me a minute and then Fletch can fuck your pretty throat, yes?”

She obeyed and as she lowered herself, both men released a pleased sigh. 

Will positioned himself, prompting the tip of his fat cock against her entrance. He teased her a couple of seconds and then, with no warning, grabbing onto her hips, he pushed himself inside of her with one sharp thrust, making sure he hit her as deeply as he possibly could. He ripped a loud moan out of her chest that she suffocated in the mattress, only prompting him to groan in response. He stretched her completely, taking her breath away. They both moaned, as she melted in a victorious smile. 

Will then gave her take a moment to get used to him. As she welcomed his size, squeezing him, Erika almost lost strength, feeling the need to let herself go. She was already seeing stars. She felt him in her belly, so deep inside of her she was sure she had never felt so filled. 

“Good girl,” he rewarded her with a praise, before he started to move, slow at first in and out of her. “Such a good little girl with a good little pussy,”

Erika purred and whimpered, calling his name, as pleasure prevailed over her.

Every one of his pushes made her pleasure grow, bringing her to unashamedly moan for him, as the pressure of a new, rising orgasm nested across her stomach.

Will’s hands were solidly holding onto her hips as he fucked her from behind, guiding her to slide upon his cock. He was holding her so tightly it almost hurt, almost, because her pleasure was much greater, enough for her to forget about discomfort. Plus, she was hoping his clutch would leave bruises on her skin. There was something so profound, so intimate, about being marked during sex, and she loved to have her skin baring the traces of passion. 

There was a pause. Kyle waited patiently, giving her the chance to get used to Will first, before he too moved, pulling on her hair to get her back up. She was ready to welcome him as soon as he did. Keeping her by her hair with one hand and wrapping his other around her throat, helping her balancing herself, Kyle smiled dangerously to her, willing to give her exactly what she had asked for, nodding, as she opened her mouth for him. “Good girl, open wide,”.

Erika leaned in, sliding her tongue across his shaft, from base to tip, enjoying hearing his sigh of approval. She closed her lips around the tip of his cock, sucking on it and playing with it with her tongue, and then she pulled him deeper in the back of her throat. Kyle grabbed on her hair. And Will clutched on the soft edges of her hips, digging his cock deeper inside of her. So much she thought she felt his hit in her stomach.

Erika had never felt so filled up and she loved it. It made her skin shiver and her stomach tremble as pleasure buzzed through her entire being, making her arms and legs shake. She savoured the feeling of both their hands on her, as the warmth of both their bodies seeped through her skin. She was so lost in the pleasure Will was giving her and in the devotion she was determined to show Kyle as he fucked her throat, she didn’t even recognize the waves of an orgasm growing on her. To the point that, when she came, it was a surprise.

“Fuck,” Will grunted, “Yes, love, yes. Come for me. Such a good girl.” As Will praised her, guiding her through her orgasm with unforgiving thrusts, Kyle pulled back, granting her the possibility to voice her pleasure. He scooped her face up, making her look at him. “Are you coming, pet?”

She was only able to roll her eyes, nodding, unable to speak if not for convulsed whimpers.

Will didn’t stop. He kept pounding her trembling flesh. He guided her through her high and then right into overstimulation. Unforgiving and perfect. As her strength left her, he was ready to grab her a moment before she folded on the mattress. Will pulled her up, so her shoulders were pressed against his chest. He held her tight with an arm around her waist and a hand wrapped around her throat. “Oh, we are not done, love.” His whisper sounded so sweet and yet so threatening. She looked up at him, helpless, only able to whimper as her tired flesh was charging up again. She felt like she could break under such pressure. Will’s fingers slid around her jaw, holding her as he nodded proudly. “Go on, love, give me another, I know you have it in you.” He then pulled her chin, turning her towards Kyle, “Let your boyfriend watch you coming on my cock again.” 

Will slid his free hand between her thighs, easily finding her clit that he proceeded to massage, still pounding inside of her, breaking her breath with every hit. 

“Touch yourself, Kyle,” Will instructed, his hungry gaze falling on the Aussie. “I want to see it.”

Erika watched as Kyle gave Will what he wanted without hesitation, wrapping his hand around his cock, he pumped into his palm, letting the Brit curiously and unashamedly watch. Kyle released a small whimper, calling for Will’s name, only prompting the Brit to approve with a grunt.

Erika grabbed on Will’s arm, digging her nails through his skin, doing her best to find something to hold onto as a new wave of pleasure washed over her. This second orgasm was so powerful that it blinded her for a moment. She cried out loud, calling for Will’s name multiple times, as he guided her through her pleasure, this time properly, granting her the chance to catch her breath, indulging her satisfied body, supporting her. He whispered sweet praises into her ear, welcoming her pleasure with pure satisfaction.

As soon as Will loosened his hold on her, Erika thought she could fall, but Kyle was there to catch her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as Kyle took her away from Will’s arms and laid her on the mattress. He caressed and kissed her sweaty skin, praising her too, granting her the possibility to rest her quivering body for a moment. 

“Are you ok, baby?” Kyle checked on her. 

Erika’s eyelids still felt too heavy for her to open her eyes but she had enough strength to loosely raise a hand to his face and brush be back of her fingers on his cheek, grateful to his sweet attentions. She was only able to nod to his question. And yet a lazy smile crossed her lips.

She was fatigued, out of breath, maybe even tired, but not at all satisfied, besides the fact that her belly still vibrated with the echoes of the deep pleasure Will just gave her. 

Kyle softly kissed her chin and then her lips, to which point she had gained enough focus back to let her fingers wander free into the lose locks of his hair. At the same time, without looking, she raised her other hand to Will and was pleasantly surprised when he took it into both his, lowering himself to softly kiss her knuckles.

“Was it good, love?” Will wondered, laying next to her and daring to deliver a timid kiss on her shoulder.

Erika chuckled, still out of breath from before. Words were still difficult to be formulated. She suspected they had just fucked her brains out, which made her very happy. So, instead of trying to formulate some grateful praises, she turned to him and kissed him.

“That good, uh?” Kyle was ready to make a light joke as he pressed his smile into the crook of her neck, but before he could, Erika moved so quickly she surprised even herself.

“Mh, yes,” She rolled on top of him, grabbing both his wrists and pushing his arms above his head. Then she sat back, straddling him, looking down at him. Her eyes cruised avidly across his body, “But don’t think I am done with you.”

She then looked at Will too, just to make sure her message was clear. She meant every word from before. 

She pushed her index under Will’s raised chin, enjoying seeing how he moved, attracted like a magnet to her, following her as if she had been pulling him up. When he sat back up and was close enough for a kiss, she smiled evilly, pushing him back down on the mattress.

It was clear she had just decided to take control and both men were willing to give her what she wanted. Both acted following her. When she needed them to lead, they were there to handle her, but now, just as easily, they both submitted themselves. It made her feel all-powerful.

Her attention moved back on Kyle. She pushed her hands on his chest and down, across his abdomen, following the solid line of his muscles with her nails, just to tease him. He didn’t dare to move, keeping his wrists crossed above his head as if she had tied him up.

“Now,” she grinned, as her hand slowly traced back to Kyle’s neck. He bent under her, stretching just as she liked, releasing a soft pleasureful sigh. “It’s your turn,” she proudly announced, only bringing Kyle to nod, completely lost in her design. Erika turned to Will, raising her chin, enjoying to be the one towering over them both, now. “Are you going to watch me ride my boyfriend’s cock?” She wondered, knowing there was only one answer to her question, and still enjoying seeing how Will nodded. “Will you touch yourself as I fuck him? Pretending your hand is my little pussy?”

Will released a low hiss, nodding to her words. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Erika’s eyes widened as his words hit her right in the stomach. A shiver crossed her and then became hot pleasure melting into her. Her lips bent into a warm, wide smile as she stretched and purred. “Look at you,” she grabbed Will’s chin, giving him a soft pull, “you already know exactly how I like to be pleased. Good boy.”

Though as soon as she let him go with a push, her attention went back on Kyle and never moved off him. She smiled at him as sweet and as dangerous as poison. She soaked in the devotion in her eyes and rolled her hips above his, willingly rubbing herself on his erection. The shiver that crossed him made her purr once more. 

“You are such a pretty boy,” she praised him, her hands cruising across his torso. Kyle smiled to her letting her do her thing. She followed his arms and bent over him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down behind his head as she kissed him. 

He only pretended to try and fight her hold and resist her, but she knew if he actually wanted to break free, he could have easily overpowered her. The fact that he let her lead, especially after she had granted him the control, was intoxicating. She always liked to break the rules. Even her own.

“Did you like seeing Will fucking me?” She teased him sliding her nails across his chest, now deeper, making sure to leave marks.

Kyle gulped loudly and then he nodded. “I did.” 

“Do you want me to fuck you, now?”

“I do.” He pushed himself slightly up, only enough to catch her lips in a famished, desperate kiss.

She didn’t wait much longer. Pushing a hand between their bodies she positioned him to her entrance and slid above him, taking every inch of his length. She pulled herself up, pushing on his chest and let her head fall backwards, welcoming his size with a moan. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.”

She admired him as he welcomed her tight hold with departed lips and glimmering eyes fogged by desire. 

Erika looked over to Will, willingly rolling her hips on Kyle’s cock only to see him mirroring her movement with his hand clutched around his erection. God, those two men, lost in their pleasure, laying underneath her, were gorgeous. The two most beautiful men she had ever laid eyes upon. Both hers in that specific moment.

She stretched letting her head fall backwards, voicing her pleasure. Erika had absolutely no patience or desire to take it easy. She moved her hips up and down Kyle’s cock at a voracious pace and he let her choose the rhythm she more desired, giving her everything she wanted. Understanding her need to get off once more, and being more than supportive about her desires. 

The room filled with their moans. To Erika, it was like something had awaken inside of her. A wild, ravaging desire she had never had before. Something hidden and profound had woken a side of her she didn’t know. And she wondered if she would have ever been able to get back to the person she was and to the life she had.

Erika grabbed Kyle by the neck and squeezed his throat. A satisfied, complicit wide smile crossed her lips as she encouraged him. Pleasure started to build inside of her, firing up her nerves, gathering pressure around her stomach. The more she was given, the more she desired, it was like a sweet curse. And she started to doubt she could really reach full satisfaction.

She gave Kyle a pull, and, like driven by an invisible force, he moved, doing exactly what she wished him to, knowing what she needed. “What is it baby?” He sat up underneath her and caged her in between her arms, now guiding her to ride him, holding her safely. “Are you coming again?”

Erika held solidly onto his shoulders, digging her nails into his back. She suffocated a loud moan into the crook of his neck and then nodded, feeling the intense waves of pleasure mounting inside of her. 

“I need-” her breath was broken by a whimper as her fogged up eyes searched for Will. She reached for him and just as Kyle did before, he too was ready to move for her. 

He was quick to kneel by her side and took her hand into his, letting her palm nest on his chest. “What is it, love?”

“Tell us what you need, baby.”

“Just,” she whispered, “come with me, the both of you.”

Will’s free hand slid on the back of her neck, holding her head up as he pressed his lips on her temple and cheek, bringing her to first kiss him and then let her turn to kiss Kyle.

In the heat of the moment, she let go and came again. This time, as violent as the one before. Blinded by pleasure, her strength leaved her the second her body came undone. Erika abandoned herself between the two men’s arms, crying out their name. 

Both Will and Kyle followed her closely filling her up and marking her skin. 

Erika found herself thinking God, be praised, and had the impression she heard bells tolling, as the two men held her and their pleasure dissipated in the thick, hot air surrounding them. 

It was a funny thought. She wasn’t even religious. An innocent giggle rolled through her chest as both Kyle and Will laid her back on the mattress with care. 

“Good?” Kyle was short breathed and still leaned into her, only bringing her to roll and snuggle against him, rubbing her face against his neck, grateful. “So good.” 

Will, on the other side of her, fixed a pillow under her head and then softly kissed her shoulder. “You are something else, love,” feeling his smile on her skin made her stretch against him and turn, looking for a kiss, “how the fuck am I supposed to get over you two now?”

“Don’t,” Kyle suggested, “Stay.” 

“Yeah?” Will wondered hopeful.

“Check me in a loony bin if I’ll ever refuse you, mate.”

Will exchanged a soft look with Kyle, revealing some sort of gratitude hiding behind his blue eyes. It wasn’t only about stepping into another man’s bed, with his partner. It was much more than that, hidden in plain sight right in between the two boys.

As Will relaxed, Kyle smiled widely and welcomed him with an affectionate, soft slap on the cheek. “Good boy, Billy Goat,” then the Aussie leaned into Erika kissing her softly, “Let’s get you cleaned up, uhm?”

Before he could move away, she held him down making him look back at her. “I love you, Kyle Fletcher.”

“Whatever,” 

[senditcolton]

maybe this Christmastime, you'll realize

song inspo: santa doesn't know you like i do word count: 3k warnings: none, just pure holiday fluff (christmas centric)

a/n: i'm back!! and what better way to celebrate the conclusion of my graduate degree by giving you all a barely edited, written last night, self-indulgent fic to feed my delusion of Tyson Jost being madly in love with me. glad to be back and can't wait to write for you all again!!

The heat that blasts from the oven is a welcome sensation, considering that your old apartment often struggled to keep in the warmth from your central heating. You lean in, your oven mitt clad hand reaching and grasping the cookie sheet.

You’d be the first to admit that you weren’t much of a baker. That was never your ‘job’ during holidays with your family. But you figured you would try this year since you wouldn’t have the opportunity to enjoy the homemade goodies your family crafted.

That was the reason you chose to bake cookies. The reason you chose to bake almond butter cookies was because of someone else. Someone who also wasn’t able to enjoy the comforts of home this year.

As if he could hear your thoughts, a knock echoes through your apartment. You quickly finish transferring the cookies from the still hot baking sheet onto the cooling rack before wiping off your hands and running towards the front door. You swing open the worn wood and you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips when you see Tyson standing there.

“Hey. Happy Christmas Eve Eve.”

“Is that the official name?” he laughs, walking into your apartment like it was his own. Which considering how often he was over at your place, it might as well be.

“You haven’t seen that episode of Friends?”

“Guess not,” he shrugs, taking off his coat. “Smells nice in here.”

“Thanks. I tried my hand at baking.”

“And you didn’t burn the apartment down?” he smiles and you wish you could stop the way your knees weaken at the sight.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” you laugh, playfully shoving his shoulder. “You better be nice to me or else you won’t get any almond butter cookies.” This time, you didn’t want to stop the trill of your heart at the way his eyes brightened at your words.

“Almond butter?”

“Yeah,” you nod towards the kitchen, a silent invitation for him. He took your encouragement in stride, breezing into the other room and you were thankful that he was out of earshot when you said your next words.

“I made them just for you.”

You did. You also opened your home to him, welcoming him any day during this, the week of Christmas. But that was just because you didn’t want him to be lonely. That was all. That was the only reason.

It definitely wasn’t because of the crush you had been harboring for him since the first day you met.

No, absolutely not.

You take a deep breath before following Tyson into the kitchen, turning the corner only to find him already munching on a cookie, a grin on his face and some crumbs stuck on his facial hair.

“I know they’re probably not as good as Grandma Jost’s but –” Tyson cuts you off with a gentle call of your name.

“Stop. These are delicious. You did a really good job.”

“Thanks,” you say. It’s only then that you spy the backpack that he carried in with him, one that was now placed on your kitchen table. “What’s that?”

“Oh,” Tyson says, as if he just remembered it himself. You are even more curious when you see the blush spread on his cheeks, the rosy color having nothing to do with the lingering cold from outside. “I need your help.”

“Okay?”

“You mentioned that you were in charge of wrapping presents at your house for the holidays. And I’m really bad at it. I mean, usually I struggle through it or just put everyone’s gifts in bags…”

You gently interrupt his explanation with a laugh of your own, your brain goes over all the gifts Tyson has given you; mostly presented to you in gift bags.

“But since I can’t go home this year, I kind of want to – I don’t know – make more of an effort. Make it more exciting for whenever my family does get their presents. If that makes any sense.”

“That makes perfect sense, Tyson,” you reply. “Sit. Eat your cookies. I’ll get the wrapping paper.”

Only a few short moments pass before you find yourself sitting next to Tyson, wrapping the stockpile of presents he brought over and listening to him talk about anything and everything: details about the gift you were currently wrapping, his shopping adventures, the hockey season so far, friend and family updates, anything. You occasionally interrupt with questions about how he wants the presents decorated but he gives you a lot of creative freedom which you slightly admonish him for.

“Tyson, they should feel like they’re from you.”

“I’ll pick out the bows.”

That was how you continued, your focus on the folds and creases of the paper in front of you while Tyson talked.

You had gone through most of the gift he presented to you, your concentration entirely on the folding and taping that you perfected long ago. Tyson had gone quiet for a moment but you weren’t that concerned as you were still able to hear him rustling around in the bag that held all your bows, finding whatever color he chose for the current gift. You are just about to put the last piece of tape on when you feel Tyson’s fingers gently press against your head.

Your eyes snap back to him, only to see that adorable crooked grin on his face. You are pretty sure you knew what happened and your thoughts are only confirmed as you reach up and feel the paper of the bow pressed onto your hair.

“Is this the one you want for this gift?”

“It looks pretty cute on you,” he says and you once again have to force yourself to take a deep breath before your body acts of its own volition, revealing your feelings in probably the worst way.

“I’m sure it’ll look much better on the present,” you quip, taking it off your hair and replacing the tape before sticking it onto the silver paper. “Ta-da!” You push the present off to the side, adding to the slowly growing pile. “What’s next?”

You turn your attention to Tyson, but this time, he’s the one distracted. His fingers tap against his phone,  typing out few quick messages, a small grin appearing on his face occasionally. You wait for a few minutes, just watching him until he feels your gaze and looks up towards you.

“Huh?”

“Which present is next?”

“Oh, last one,” he says, pulling the final gift out of his backpack and handing it to you. “This one is for Kacey.”

“Was that who you were texting?”

“No um, that was Mikayla. She’s this girl I matched with on a dating app a little while ago. We’re just getting last minute details ready before our date tonight.”

His words give you literal pause as your scissors stall on the wrapping paper, your smooth precise cut turning into a jagged edge.  

“Tonight?” you ask, your question answered with an affirmative hum from him. You try to act nonchalant, a shrug lifting your shoulders as you attempt to focus back on the task at hand. “Seems a little odd – so close to Christmas.”

“Yeah, but it was the best day for her and I don’t have anywhere else to be, y’know?”

You try not to let his words sting, knowing he doesn’t mean them maliciously. He wasn’t with his family and you were just a friend. He didn’t have any commitments because he wasn’t committed to you. That was the simple truth.

“Yeah, I know,” you say, forcing your attention onto the cherry red wrapping paper in your hands; the one thing you could control. “I think a gold bow would look good on this one.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Tyson replies, typing out one last quick message before diving back into the bag to find the color you requested.

A few short minutes later, the presents are wrapped and placed back into Tyson’s pack, safe and ready for their return to his apartment. You watched from your couch as his throws his coat over his broad frame before swinging the backpack onto his shoulder.

“If you want, you can always come over tomorrow. I need some help finishing off those cookies,” you playfully tease, trying not to let your heart get too attached to the idea of spending Christmas Eve with him next to you.

“I might take you up on that,” Tyson says, shooting you a gentle smile before opening your door and leaving, the chill sneaking in from the outside and finding a way to wrap around your heart.

You know you had no right to be upset. Tyson wasn’t yours. He didn’t know the way you felt about him and there was no certainty that he would even share your feelings. He might only ever see you as a friend and if that was the case… he should be free to find someone who does love him.

But there was this stubborn part of you that couldn’t imagine anyone else loving Tyson as much as you loved him. You’ve been there through the good and bad. You knew his favorite songs. You knew how to make him laugh. And you would always pick up when he called.

Who else could say that?

You sigh, gently telling yourself that there was nothing you could do about it tonight.

Perhaps Christmas Eve might bring forth some holiday magic. Or maybe you should just throw in the towel, pray for New Year’s to come quickly so you could leave this heartache behind along with the holiday season.

You weren’t sure which to wish for so you just crawled into bed, feeling bluer that ever before as you fell asleep, trying not to think of someone else’s lips pressed against Tyson’s.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The lights in the tree blurred as you try to hold back you tears. You always seemed to cry during the holidays; you never really knew why. It just always came about this time of year. ‘Tis the season, right?

But this year, you could pinpoint the exact person that caused your tears to fall. Tyson Jost. The worst part about it was that it wasn’t even his fault that you were crying. It was all yours.

You woke up after a listless night of sleeping. When you went to check your phone, you hoped to see a message from Tyson but to your disappointment but not surprise, there was no notification on your screen. You managed to roll yourself out from underneath your covers and go about your morning routine before sending a text to him, saying that you hoped his date went well and that the offer to come over tonight was still on the table.

That was over twelve hours ago and all you received was radio silence from him.

Perhaps that is why you found yourself curled up underneath your tree, staring up at the lights in the boughs, trying to push back tears. It was a stupid reason to cry just like it was stupid to fall for your best friend. Stupid to think that he could ever see you as anything more. Stupid to think that maybe this Christmas would be the one where it all changed.

Stupid to spend your money on a new watch, wrap it up for him with a note documenting your feelings in the hope that he would open it tonight, here, underneath your tree while you both ate the cookies you made specifically for him.

Your fingers trace over the silk ribbon, fidgeting with the bow as the minutes tick by, your hope dwindling with them.

The receipt for it was still in your closet in one of your purses. You could return it on Tuesday, pretend like you never had this grand scheme and go back to being friends with Tyson. Give yourself another year to get over him. Maybe next year you finally would.

A heavy sigh escapes you as you spare one last glance down at the parcel in your hands before placing it back underneath the tree with all the other presents that your friends and family had sent to you.

It was a silly idea, an almost childish Christmas dream and now, you had to wake up. Tyson was dating other people and sooner or later, he would find someone who could give him everything you could and possibly more. Perhaps he found her last night and woke up this morning to her curled up in his arms and that feeling of love just struck him and if so, there was nothing you could do and –

The knock on your door startles you out of your spiraling thoughts, your hand hitting a few ornaments hanging down from the branches. You quickly grab them, stabilizing the fragile decor before you lift yourself off the floor, your blanket pooling beneath you before you wander to the front door.

You had no idea who was knocking at this time of night but you must have been too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to care because you opened the door without a second thought. It took you a minute to fully register the person standing on your doorstep but when you saw those chocolate curls and those big brown eyes, you feel a sense of calm sweep over you.

Tyson always pulled that feeling from you. Even when he showed up unannounced on Christmas Eve.

Although you were happy to see him, the expression on your face was one of confusion. Why was he here, now, without a word of warning, after ignoring you for almost a full 24 hours? You are about to ask those questions but before you could get a word out, Tyson speaks.

“I’m sorry.”

His words catch you off-guard, the meaning behind them not yet clear to you.

“For what?” you ask him. Your breath shallows as he turns his gaze to you and you are struck by the earnestness reflecting in his eyes.

“For not seeing you,” he replies, stepping over the threshold of your apartment and closer to you. “For not seeing how wonderful and amazing and beautiful you are.”

“Wha – what’s happening?” you question, his words sending shockwaves through your body.

“I think a part of me always knew; that you were the one. But I ignored it for whatever reason. Fear, indifference, whatever. But last night, when I was on a date with another girl, all I could think about was you. How you make me laugh, make me smile. Pick me up and encourage me when I’m down. Do silly inconsequential things for me without expecting anything in return.”

Tyson continues to speak, becoming more assured and confident with every word, punctuating each sentence with a step closer to you.

“How you went out of your way to make cookies that remind me of home so I would feel less alone this holiday season. No one else has done anything like that for me.”

You had to be hallucinating or dreaming or something. This felt straight out of goddamn Hallmark movie – it couldn’t be real life. It was a fantasy brought on by sugar and heartache. But when Tyson reaches out to you, gently grasping your hands in his, you can feel the warmth of his touch run through you, warm and as real as it ever was.

“And I realized last night, alone in my bed, that I didn’t need the cookies, the presents, the bows and ribbons to feel like I was home,” Tyson confesses, his voice becoming softer as he pulls you closer. “Whenever I’m with you… that’s when I’m home. You are home to me. And I’m sorry for not being able to tell you sooner. I’m sorry it took this long for me to realize it.”

Tyson silences, looking into your eyes and you know he’s waiting for your answer but you were still trying to fully understand this whole situation. Still trying to wrap your head around the fact that the man in front of you, the man that you had a crush for almost an entire year, just came to your house in the middle of the night and confessed his feelings to you.

Your body slightly jumps at the sound of your front door closing, the breeze pulling it shut but Tyson gently rubs his thumbs over the back of your hands, soothing you. A small jingle of a bell sounds from above you, brought on by the gust of air from the door. The noise pulls both you and Tyson’s attention away from each other towards the ceiling and you feel your cheeks warm at the sight of the green leaves with white berries, tied together with ribbon, hanging above you. The warmth intensifies as Tyson turns his gaze on you once again, that mischievous look in his eyes.

“Mistletoe? Really?”

“It’s tradition,” you mutter, your tongue finally being able to twist itself into words.

“Well, it is Christmas after all. I guess we shouldn’t break tradition,” he grins.

You force yourself to breathe as Tyson leans closer to you, your eyes fluttering shut when you feel his forehead press against yours. You can feel the warmth of his breath fanning over your cheeks but his movements stall and when you don’t feel the gentle press of his lips against yours, you slowly reopen your eyes.

Tyson is still standing there, his lips only mere centimeters away from yours. It’s only then that you realize you’ve never given him a response to his confession. Haven’t yet told him that it was everything that you had been hoping to hear from him. But how could you possibly respond when it didn’t feel like there were words in the English language to describe the depth of your feelings?

The answer was simple.

You respond by lifting yourself up those final inches and pressing your lips against his. You pour every emotion you felt into that kiss and you could feel a piece of you settle when Tyson kissed you back with as much passion.

And you knew that this – wrapped up in Tyson’s arms underneath the mistletoe, his lips against yours – was the best present you could have ever received this year.

[vind3miat0r]

reasons why i should be nominated no. 1 Avior and Porter fan :3

Avior

im literally his husband guys trust

people have literally come to me to ask abt his storyline

i have a good portion of his audios memorized

listened to his playlist the most :3

what kind of normal person makes a literal timeline from memory

i have my name as "aviors trans husband" in multiple discord servers

not to mention im literally Starlight

poetry from when the yearning got to me

last but not least, first thing in my description on yt

Porter

i was there when he was introduced‼️ been a fan since day one‼️

I LITERALLY HAVE HIS FIRST AUDIO MEMORIZED IM DEADASS RN IVE LISTENED TO IT THAT MANY TIMES

i wrote about him six consecutive times and have a series devoted to him + Treasure (+their friends)

who made a makeshift playlist because he doesnt have a playlist yet? ME‼️

i have actual brainworms abt him and Treasure they will not leave my brain im deadass :despair: (its genuinely becoming a problem)

edits of Porter and Treasure that i made

i think these speak for themself....

these also speak for themselves....

my tumblr bio

the amazing Jessie Milogreer, creator of the redacted blinkies, made me a Porter blinkie to match my profile :D (i have all of them saved too!!)

art from when the brainrot got to me (fun fact about the first one! i actually drew that the day that Blake's EA was originally supposed to come out. who got moved up in the lineup and his EA dropped later that night?? Porter. i manifested him. youre welcome /j /lh)

i loooove the complexity of his character actually and how he can be a bitch and then be a stone cold killer and then be the sweetest softest man imaginable and all the while hes grappling with himself still trying to find out who he is despite putting up a facade of having it all figured out and MMMMGHSKFHS I LOVE HIMMMM

bonus; nominating myself for the fanfiction category 👍

probably my favorite fic ive written for the fandom is i wanna be yours, wanna be mine. it was purely self-indulgent and i was riding a music high while writing it, and i honestly think its my best work to date :3

uhh yeah thats abt it 👍

thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫡

(@plaqying)

[scoonsalicious]

Reminder: I am on a posting break for new content until May 23rd so that I can focus on writing WFLT...

Today, I have something special for you for the final day of my break, lol. This is the first written chapter of a fic I started writing last year called The End of His Line. It's a Bucky x OFC that made it to about 70k words before I abandoned it for Unwanted. Maybe I'll revisit it someday. It's entirely self-indulgent, not edited very much, and takes place after TFATWS. The premise is that Bucky's been having some trouble since the events of the series, particularly hearing voices. Sam's suggested they contact a friend of his, someone known as The Archivist, who might be able to get them access to Hydra's records on the Winter Soldier program in an attempt to figure out what's going on with him.

Totally self-indulgent and NOT an author-insert, because her name is Sarah and my name is Sara, and they are two, totally different names! Yeah, okay, we both may have auburn hair, but both those elements are important to the story! Plus, our eyes are totally different colors! ;)

Enjoy!

Bucky sat at a table in a dimly lit diner in Midtown, just a few blocks south of Grand Central Station, where Sam had arranged for the two of them to meet this mysterious ‘Archivist’ of his.

Bucky pressed his back against the cold brick wall, feeling more alone than ever. The bustling city streets were a world away from him now, and it was as if he was completely invisible to the waves of people that walked by him. He peered out at them through the window, feeling every bit of his one-hundred-nine years old while all around him remained oblivious.

He glanced at his watch. He was early, having been far too anxious for answers to sit still in his barren apartment, just waiting. And frankly, he didn’t want to be alone. Loneliness visited him a lot more frequently now that Sam set up permanent residence back in Delacroix. Bucky was always welcome to visit, and he did, but after too long, the sight of Sam, surrounded by family and community, always seemed to weigh too heavily on Bucky’s chest, and he’d be reminded of how much he missed Steve’s presence in his life. 

A part of Bucky resented Steve’s choice to leave him alone in this foreign world, when Steve had been his only lifeline. Then Bucky would remember everything Steve had sacrificed to bring him back from the darkness, and Bucky would feel ashamed. How could he begrudge his best friend the chance to live the life that had been stolen from him?

Your life was stolen, too, the quiet voice whispered from the darkest corner of his mind. It’s not as though Steve had to go alone. He could have taken you with him. So much for the end of the line.

Bucky slapped his metal fist on the table in an attempt to force the voice back into submission. Instead, the napkin holder on the table shook with the reverberation, causing an older couple a few tables over to look up in alarm. He really needed to stop spending so much time alone. 

The sun had risen over the zenith of the avenues, the heat of its rays amplified through the diner windows and making Bucky uncomfortably hot in his leather jacket. He shrugged it off and tossed it over the back of his vinyl chair as the bell above the diner door cheerfully rang. Sam approached the table and took a seat next to him, placing a large round bag next to his chair.

“You brought the shield?” Bucky asked, puzzled. “I thought this was a friend of yours. Are we expecting trouble?” Sam fiddled with the zipper of the bag, opening it and arranging the flap just so, so that the unmistakable red and blue could be seen without being too obvious. 

“Nah, no trouble. Just…” Sam sat up and Bucky noticed his clothes were a bit… fancier than normal. “Doesn’t hurt to remind people it’s there, is all.”

Understanding dawned on Bucky. “You’re either trying to intimidate the shit out of this Archivist, or,” he smiled ruefully at his friend, “you’re trying like hell to impress ‘em.”

Sam laughed good naturedly. “I figure it can’t hurt to try a little bit of both. We’re going for a pretty big ask, after all.” He was right. They were asking for all known (and hopefully, any heretofore unknown) records related to the super-soldier serum that created both Bucky and Steve, and the Winter Soldier program that had turned Bucky into a mindless killer. It was a tall order and, depending on where those records might be and who might hold them, a potentially dangerous one. Sam swore, on his family’s boat, no less, that if there were any records out there to be found, The Archivist was the one to find them. Bucky had no problem placing his trust in Sam, but he was wary of involving any stranger, especially when it concerned the most vulnerable parts of himself.

A waitress approached their table, jeans suffocatingly tight and her top cropped entirely too high. She smiled at them both. “What can I get for you two handso—” Her eyes widened at the sight of the shield. “Oh. My. God.” She squealed at Sam. “You’re Captain America!”

Great. Here we go, thought Bucky, as the waitress began to gush and fawn all over Sam. His friend, of course, ate it up. If there was one thing Sam loved more than being recognized as the new Captain America, it was being recognized as the new Captain America by attractive women. She kept twirling a strand of shockingly pink hair with one hand and casually stroking Sam’s shoulder with the other. 

God, but these modern girls are forward. He was thankful her attention wasn’t directed at him, because Bucky never knew how to respond to brazen flirting girls were empowered with today, and his first instinct was always to run away. It was so much easier Before. The guy would take charge, make all the moves. He’d know where he stood from the jump. You’d ask a girl out, buy her flowers, take her dancing. There was beauty in the structure, in the process. But now? The whole thing seemed to be a damned free-for-all, where everything that came out of a woman’s mouth could be mistaken for a sexual invitation. It was unnerving.

Or maybe it’s been so long since any woman’s actually touched that you think everything they say and do is a come on. A voice. Not the dark one that whispered his greatest fears to him, but still, not his own, either.

“I’m ready to order!” Bucky cut in, loud and awkward, out of nowhere, to drown out the voice. Sam and the waitress startled out of their flirting.

“Yeah, of course,” said the waitress, giving him a cautious look. “What can I get for you?” 

Bucky stumbled, realizing he honestly had no idea– he hadn’t even seriously considered the menu. Well, great. “Uh… I…”

“Why don’t you just get us a couple of coffees for now, sweetheart?” Sam asked with a blinding smile, diverting the waitress’  attention away from Bucky and back on to him. “We’re still waiting on one more.” The waitress beamed back at him.

“Sure thing, Cap.” She gently brushed a hand across Sam’s shoulder before turning and walking back toward the kitchen.

Bucky’s eyes involuntarily rolled in his head. “You just can’t help yourself, can you, Cap?” he asked, grinning.

“Nah, nah– we’re not gonna sit and pretend you’re feeling all normal. What was that about?” Shit. The worst thing about becoming so close with Sam was that it was becoming next to impossible to hide things from him. This new Captain America was beginning to know him almost as well as the last. Almost, said a voice. But you’re keeping this from him. Some friend you are. Okay, that voice might have been Bucky’s.

He was spared from uttering a response by the tinkling of a bell, heralding the arrival of a woman through the diner's entrance. Bucky glanced up to catch her figure silhouetted against the afternoon sun, holding in one hand a massive frozen beverage. His breath hitched as she paused to inspect her phone, her teeth nibbling her lower lip in concentration. He had never met this woman before his long, long life, yet there was something so overwhelmingly familiar about her that it provoked an indescribable feeling of nostalgia within Bucky, as if he had been lost and suddenly found home.

As if in a trance, Bucky felt his eyes drawn to her clothes. The dress seemed like it had been taken from the same shops he'd visited with his sister before he enlisted. And it fit her perfectly - a sage green tea dress snugly clung to her curves and hugged all the right places, high-waisted with capped sleeves, a v-neck collar, and hidden pleats creating a skirt that cut off just below her knees. Below, cream kitten heels made her calves look defined and graceful. She looked as though she had stepped out of time and into this room, embracing him with an aura of beauty and history that was both familiar and captivating – so stunning it made Bucky’s breath catch in his throat.

His gawking was quickly halted by the raspy sound of a chair grating across the Formica floor. Sam leapt to his feet and yelled out “Hey, gorgeous! Right here!” Bucky felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him in addition to the shock he felt at his friend’s behavior. It didn't surprise him that he would act like a flirt; however, it was immensely inappropriate for him to catcall an unsuspecting woman like that.

But when the woman looked up at the sound of Sam’s voice, a wide smile broke out across her face and she headed toward their table. Her auburn hair bounced with each step, and Bucky was taken in by the way the late summer light through the window brought out streaks of warm copper in her flowing waves. He blinked. Did he seriously just think that? Yes, he couldn’t blame that thought on anyone but himself. Those clothes were messing with him.

You fucking idiot, he scolded himself. Get your shit together!

When she reached their table, she opened her arms wide and enveloped Sam in an embrace. Bucky watched as the two exchanged a hug, not really understanding why he was feeling so strangely… jealous, maybe? He’d known that they were close – after all, Sam had specifically requested her help in this endeavor – but he hadn’t expected his body to respond so aggressively to her presence.

The woman let go of Sam and held him at arms’ length, studying him. 

“You look good, Sammy. How’ve you been?”

Bucky cocked his head and mouthed “Sammy?” His friend either didn’t see or chose to ignore him.

“Can’t complain–  being Captain America and all that ain’t too bad,” Sam said with a flirtatious smirk.

And here we go again, thought Bucky, with more than his usual trace of annoyance. Where was this anger coming from?

The woman threw her head back and laughed, the sound of it like water tumbling over rocks. “I’m sure that line plays really well with the ladies, but you forget I’m immune. Captain America is, quite possibly, the least sexy thing I can imagine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam said with a good natured shrug and grin. “I keep forgetting you’re about the only girl on the planet who’s got her Avengers inoculations. Can’t blame a guy for trying his luck, though.”

She put a finger to her cheek in mock contemplation. “Come to think of it, I don’t believe I’m up-to-date on my Thor-vaccinations, actually,” she shot back with a grin of her own. “But I’m willing to risk it if exposure were to ever occur…”

“And that is why I will never introduce you to him,” Sam joked.

“And here I thought that was because he has no idea you exist.”

Sam grabbed his heart in mock pain. “Oof, you know where to hurt me, woman!”

Their banter was natural, effortless. Bucky wondered what it was like to be able to talk to someone, especially someone of the opposite sex, with such ease.

They’re friends, said the voice. He’s not tongue-tied because, unlike some people, he’s not imaging what it would be like to fu–

Bucky shot up from his chair and held out his hand. “Hi.”

“Shit, sorry. My manners. Bucky, this is Agent–”

“I’m retired, Sammy,” she interrupted as she took Bucky’s hand and shook it. “Sarah’s fine, for polite conversation. And you’re Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” The way she said his name rode down Bucky’s spine like an electric current. 

"Bucky's fine, for polite conversation," he managed to shoot back, smugly pleased with himself when he noticed one corner of her mouth ticked up into a ghost of a half smile.

“It’s so good to finally meet you, Bucky. I’ve heard so many stories about you, I feel like I already know you” she said, letting go of Bucky’s hand and nodding to their chairs. “Shall we?” The three sat down, Bucky shoving his hand under the table. He stretched out his fingers, focusing on the sensation of where their skin had touched. It was warm and strangely comforting, the way a forgotten song might linger in one’s memory. She’d heard things? About him? From who, Sam? God, what? None of it could have been good.

Their waitress returned then with their coffees, and if she thought she’d have the opportunity to resume her flirtations with Sam, she was sorely disappointed. 

“What can I get you?” she asked Sarah, rather brusquely, Bucky thought. It was as if she resented their companion’s presence as competition for Sam’s attention.

“Nothing; thanks,” Sarah said, and if she noticed the waitresses hostility, she gave no sign. “I can’t stay long.” Bucky wasn’t sure what he had expected from this meeting, but the idea that it would be over quickly was suddenly a disappointment. He watched her as she took a long sip from a straw plunged into a pile of whipped cream in her cup. He noticed her eyes were incredibly blue.

"Did you want some?" she asked, holding out her cup to him. Bucky realized she had mistaken his scrutiny of her to be an interest in her drink.

"Nah, man," said Sam. "You'd better not. Your old geezer system isn't used to handling that amount of sugar. You’ll get diabetes."

He was probably right– everything these days was so full of sugar that Bucky didn’t know how people could stand it– but he was emboldened by the offer, and didn’t enjoy the idea of her equating him with an “old geezer,” so he shot Sam an arched look and accepted the cup from her. He licked his lips as he drew the straw to him; there was something incredibly intimate about putting his mouth where hers had just been a moment before. He gave a hard pull.

And instantly gagged. The intense sweetness of it cloyed at his mouth and he took a swallow from his own cup of bitter, black coffee to cleanse the taste. Sam erupted in laughter, finding the entire thing hilarious.

"Gah!--" Bucky thrust the beverage back at her, "What even is that?”  As she took back the cup, Bucky flinched self consciously, realizing he had just returned the drink with his metal arm. He was relieved to see that she didn’t seem to notice, or at the very least chose not to acknowledge it at all.

"It’s a Pumpkin Spice Frozen Coffee. And maybe that makes me a Basic Bitch,” she cut off Sam, who was obviously on the verge of making some comment to that effect, “then so be it, because it’s fucking delicious.” She made 'fucking' sound both incredibly innocent and yet highly suggestive at the same time, and suddenly Bucky couldn't help but notice the slight inward cave of her cheeks as she sucked at the straw… He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Why was it so warm in here all of a sudden? 

"Well, now you got him all hot and bothered, Sarah." Sam casually draped his arm around Bucky's shoulders, and Bucky was mortified – was he so completely transparent? What was he even doing, thinking like that?

"Our guy here isn't used to ladies talking with the mouths of sailors."

Bucky let out a slow breath in relief. Yes, his discomfort was obviously over the profanity coming out of her mouth, and definitely not the intrusive thought of something else entirely going into it.

Sarah just shrugged. "Yeah, my Pops is a fogey about language, too." Bucky winced at being compared to her grandfather, but she gave him a playful wink and Bucky felt something low in his stomach turn over. But the comment seemed to shift something in her and her demeanor turned serious. "So, boys, to business, then? I'm afraid I'm in a bit of a time crunch." She pulled out a notebook, pen at the ready.

“We’re trying to locate some documents,” Sam began.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “No shit. I don’t expect you to call me when you’re looking to run guns, Sammy.”

Bucky blanched. “Is… that a thing you do?” 

Sarah shrugged a single shoulder. “Not so much anymore.” She was joking, clearly. He was sixty percent sure she was joking. Turning back to Sam, she asked: “Any reason why you can’t hop onto the library’s online catalog and start your search there, or do you need me to explain Boolean Operators to you again?”

Bucky had absolutely no idea what Boolean Operators were, but he didn’t think he’d mind having her explain them to him at all.

“Oh god, no, please,” said Sam, taking a sip of his own coffee. “Besides, I don’t think the New York Public Library’s going to have access to the kind of databases we’re after.”

Sarah groaned in frustration and closed her notebook. “I’m retired Sammy. You know what that means, right? I. don’t. work. there. anymore. Besides, Romanoff uploaded everything they had back in ‘14; whatever you’re looking for should be all over the public domain by now.” She said Natasha’s name with a trace of disdain that didn’t go unnoticed by either Bucky or Sam.

“Hey,” Sam began defensively, “she was just doing what she had to expo–”

“She exposed a lot of covers and it got a lot of good people killed, Sam,” Sarah spat back with an anger Bucky hadn’t anticipated. “There were better ways to handle it. Smarter ways.”

“Nobody thought–” Sam tried again.

“No, that’s the problem, isn’t it? None of you ever think. Avengers just do, right? And leave everyone else to clean up their fucking mess?” They were losing ground here, and quickly.

“Sarah, please,” Sam practically begged her. “You and I both know that what Natasha released was only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what S.H.I.E.L.D.’s actually got. What Stark had.”

“Well, someone’s been running his goddamn mouth,” she muttered angrily. “I can’t imagine he was lucid when he told you that.” 

Stark? Tony? That couldn’t be the he they were referring to– Tony’d been dead for two years. Hard to be running your mouth in that case. Sam seemed to know exactly who she meant, though.

“Not exactly, no,” he told her. “But it’s not like I went fishing for it, Sarah. He just let it slip, and that you’ve still got the clearance, if you want it; you just need the access. You know they’d piss themselves with delight if you walked your ass back in the door, and not a single person’s going to bat an eye if you just so happen to browse through the Archives when you did.”

“You think that ‘access’ is just going to come for free, Sam?” she asked. “There’ll be strings attached. There always are.” She stood up and shoved her notebook haphazardly into her bag. “I’m sorry, but the answer is no. I won’t do it.”

Sam stood up and reached out to stop her, grabbing her arm.

“Sarah, please. Don’t do it for me, or even Bucky.” Sarah glanced in his direction, but Bucky couldn’t meet her stare. “Do it for him,” Sam practically begged. “You know how much it would mean to your—” Sarah looked at his hand on her arm and forcefully tore herself from his grip before Sam could finish his sentence.

“That’s a fucking low blow, Wilson. Especially now.” And she turned her back to them both and walked out the door, leaving the bell clanging in her wake.

“Shit. Shit!” Sam slunk back into his chair, defeated. “I figured she wouldn’t like it, but I didn’t think she’d go full ‘Wilson’ on me. Maybe hit ‘Samuel.’ I at least thought she’d hear us out, let me persuade her.”

“Should we follow her?” Bucky asked. “Try to change her mind?”

“No. We try that right now and she’s likely to shoot us.” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Literally, man. Nah, she’s gotta cool off. We gotta re-approach from another angle, but the hell if I know what that’s going to be.” He sighed and ran a hand over his head. “I’m sorry, man. I pushed too hard, too fast. I should have eased into her.” Bucky deliberately shoved Sam’s phrasing out of his mind.

“What’s her story, Sam?” It was more than professional courtesy that led Bucky to ask. He found himself thirsty for any drop of knowledge about her Sam could give.

“Sarah Grant,” Sam said with a sigh. “She’s ex-S.H.I.E.L.D., was with them until the whole HYDRA fiasco thing,” he shot Bucky a look, as if to imply it was his HYDRA fiasco “thing.” Bucky scowled at him. “She transferred to the C.I.A. after S.H.I.E.L.D disbanded, but watercooler gossip has it she was running side missions for Fury while he worked on rebuilding. She’s never confirmed it for me, though. She was on assignment oversees when the Snap happened, and by the time she got un-dusted and made it back stateside, she decided to hang it all up and become a librarian, of all fucking things.” Sam’s tone belied his absolute disbelief that someone would transition from Special Agent to Librarian, and while Bucky did find it strange, he was also intrigued. What would cause a person to make such a drastic life change?

“So, if she’s retired, what makes you think she can just walk back in and get us what we need?” he asked.

“Man, if S.H.I.E.L.D. had royalty, she’d be their damn princess.” Sam took in Bucky’s confused expression and elaborated further: “Her family’s been top brass at S.H.I.E.L.D. from the beginning. She was practically raised with the expectation to run that place. Hell, she’s probably got tiny little S.H.I.E.L.D.s running through her blood. It’s in her DNA.”

“She didn’t seem very thrilled at the idea of a homecoming,” Bucky reminded him. “Why give it up?”

“Yeah, well… Things changed; S.H.I.E.L.D.’s not S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, is it? At least not the S.H.I.E.L.D. she grew up believing in; it’s got to bother her. She gave her whole life to that damn organization and had to watch it eat itself from the inside out, like a cancer.” He looked down at the shield, still lying in its case at their feet, and Bucky knew they were both thinking of the day they watched John Walker use it to bludgeon a Flag-Smasher to death.

“It was a symbol for her, of what could be possible if good people kept doing the right thing. Somewhere along the line, that stopped meaning something.” Bucky understood her reluctance to help them, then. If it meant returning to an organization that had betrayed her, why would she do that for him, someone she didn’t even know? He couldn’t fault her for that.

“We’ll figure something else out,” he told his friend. “It was a solid lead, though, and I appreciate you trying.” Then, because he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “So, how do you know her, anyway?”

Sam stared down at his feet, as though something incredibly interesting was going on with his shoes. “Oh, yeah… Um… Her Pops was a veteran I used to council, back in the day. We met through him.” Bucky could tell when Sam was being deliberately cagey, and while he didn’t really want to ask, he had to know…

“You two ever… ?” he gestured vaguely.

Sam barked out a laugh. “Oh, God, no! Her Pops would literally beat my ass! He’s old, but he’s still got an arm on him. Uh uh, she’s on the no-fly list, man. Damn shame, though,” he added, fondly. “Girl can fill out a skirt.”

“Sam.”

“What? A man can appreciate.” Sam grinned.

Bucky rolled his eyes as he grabbed the shield case. “Let’s get outta here.”

They stepped out of the diner and out into the early afternoon light, the sun casting a warm glow on the city around them. Bucky looked back as they walked away, though, he couldn’t help but think of the intriguing woman who had just stormed out of the restaurant and wondered if they’d ever find a way to get her to help them.

The voice in his head was telling him he hadn’t seen the last of Sarah Grant.

[thickenmyblood]

I don't know how to thank you. This feels like the end of an era. I can't believe it's been 4yrs since you started posting hiuh and I was instantly hooked. It literally got me through the pandemic. I learned so much from the story and felt I had Neo as a therapist(the best in the world). You must be flooded with asks now but I am really curious how the story formed in your head. It's hard to believe how consistent the story is as you posted chapter by chapter. Did you outline the whole story when you started? did you stick to all the original ideas? if you changed your mind what were they? It really is a master piece - much much better than many published books I read and I hope you will publish someday, if that's what you want.

I'd also offer you my first born to have an epilogue. hopefully lamen with their child(ren) playing on the beach and Nicaise being the doting big brother. they all grew so much and deserve all the happiness. oh and Kastor and Jo and Galen for big family gathering. I'm so proud of all of them.

thank you thank you thank you for all your patience and genius and mostly, generosity.

hello!!!! i'm so happy that my story resonated with you and got you through some tough times. it did the same for me!

It's hard to believe how consistent the story is as you posted chapter by chapter.

thank you!! it will never be as good as it was in my head or as good as I know I could have made it if I had spent more time on it, but for me the most important thing is that it is completed and at least 70% of what I wanted it to be. a win is a win!!!

Did you outline the whole story when you started? did you stick to all the original ideas? if you changed your mind what were they?

i got the idea for a modern au break up fic in 2020 while I was writing and posting wtsioa. i started the story as a 20k one shot and then realized 5k into it or less that it was not going to fit into that word count. the reason was very simple: i did not want a break up fic centered around "miscommunication" in a naive, fluffy way. i did not want to write a fic where the main issue was that one loved the other too much or that they thought the other was cheating when it wasn't true, etc. i wanted to write a break up that felt honest to me, and this meant giving them both issues that felt real, that i saw in myself and in the people around me irl. which meant that it would take them both considerably more than 5k to get over them (if they ever did).

i outlined the fic very roughly. my first drafts . . . they are not it, girl. like, anyone that has read wtsioa knows that. I'm a much better editor than I am a writer, so for hiuh i outlined the main beats (nicaise calls damen after months, damen goes to therapy, nicaise is out of control and some incidents happen, laurent is dating maxime, they get back together). then, i wrote the entire thing in . . . a year? maybe less? then, i made a mistake and got cocky: i edited the first three chapters and started posting on ao3. that's why the fic took so long to post. i had to edit each chapter a lot after the first three were released.

i edited out too many things to count. things you wouldn't believe if I told you now because they make no sense when looking at the finished version. idalia was a pretty big character, and so was jokaste. in the og outline, I debated between claude/heavy drugs for nicaise. i almost named dog NIKANDROS!!!! damen actually punched aktis at the party when he talks shit about laurent . . . which led to him also punching nik. laurent slapping nicaise once. aimeric and damen baking together. then, there were things I wanted to write but couldn't because they didn't feel very real to me, despite being the best self indulgent daydream scenarios ever: damen hunting claude down (yeah, ruth wanted this to happen), dog getting sick, aimeric's EVERYTHING lol, nik and nicaise talking, etc.

thank you for sending this ask and reading the story through all the ups and downs and... lack of updates on my end!!! it has been the best experience ever, knowing that someone out there is reading and cares about what I made. thank you!!!!!!!!

[quartzguts]

Writing Meme: First Line Patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @zanarkandfayth, i meant to do this when i saw the tag and forgor 😳 i even posted a new fic in between then and now... but thank you for the tag!!

most of these are gonna b vinsaga eheh.

Disinheritance (Who Made Me a Princess, gen) // It was Athanasia's worst nightmare.

In the Heat of the Moment (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // "Well," Askeladd said, rubbing his hands together, "it would appear that we're fucked."

Intertwined Fates (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // The slave market is a lively place.

Playing House (DC, Slade Wilson x Tanya Spears) // Tanya reminds him of Rose.

love is stored in the scent gland (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // Thorfinn wakes to sharp teeth digging into his neck.

Falconry (Teen Titans, Sladin) // Dick knows all the tricks.

Occupational Hazards (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // It was a chill, foggy day in Jutland, just outside the boundary of Gorm’s village.

shoeshine boy (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // Thorfinn bristles.

Pillow Talk (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // It was five o'clock in the afternoon and Thorfinn was starving.

Baby Blue (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // The outfit Thorfinn had picked out for this date was cute.

and here's my ongoing longfic, just for funsies:

11. how deep the bullet lies (Vinland Saga, Askefinn) // Blood stains the white snow a vicious red.

overall i think i'm good at picking out a starting line. i try to lead with something interesting, whether it's atmospheric, dialogue, action, set up, etc. i did think i used to over rely on dialogue starters but apparently that's not the case anymore?! one of my faves from this list is In the Heat of the Moment, so maybe i should go back to dialogue lol

as for how deep the bullet lies... i don't hate it but... yeah. you can tell that fic was written out of 100% self indulgence because i didn't edit it as much as i should have. why did i specify that the snow is white... what other color would it be QwQ

[johnslittlespoon]

fic/general updates bc i've been so quiet here, feel free to mute my yapping tag if ur just here for the brainrot posts idm one bit <3

dog coded fic ch4 is like 1/3rd done but it's a heavy one so it's taking me a bit aaa bear with me

I MADE MY FIC TAG SO SEXY i added moodboards to every single one. was this entirely self indulgent and unnecessary and an act of unintentional procrastination? yes. did it bring me joy while writing angst? also yes so

i have like 50 asks waiting for me again and I'VE READ THEM ALL OKAY and i've been losing my mind over them oh my god special mention to the anon leaving brainrot for my curtbuckbucky club au... you don't understand what you've done to me. i've almost opened a new doc so many times. i have Thoughts about what you've said and i will voice them and get back to as many other asks as i can soon!! just need an evening to lock in and sit down and reply, and there are so many fun prompt reqs to write too <3

i feel so fucking bad– i have not responded to ao3 comments or comments on my fics etc here for over a month and i reread them all so often and never want to seem like idc bc i DO they mean everything to me, literally the reason i stay motivated to write 😭💗 so i need to also sit down and go thru and reply to all of them, i just get overwhelmed by the love and sit there smiling like an idiot and then i feel the imposter syndrome and tell myself i'll reply later and the cycle repeats JDSGK <3

this week's gonna be pretty busy for me so i might still be a bit quiet, but after that i'm hoping i can get back to more regular brainrot in between writing my fic >:) me treating this like a job HSDGKJ jk i have so much fun here i rly do miss yapping all day :') anyway i think that's all, been making some edits too but i keep getting sidetracked before i finish them and i rly should be focusing on yad(iym) regardless smh! justice for pining bucky fr. but yeah if i'm ever not posting as much, just assume i'm either busy irl or focussing my energy on fic writing bc i'm so serious when i say every minute that i'm not busy irl is spent on these stupid men i'm literally plagued with thoughts of them 24/7 fml

[astraystayyh]

Eek more questions hehe I really like this new set

Really curious for #1, #7, #8, #10, #13, #21, #24, #28, #34, and #35!!

These were really good questions hehe

-💫

What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

it was i think my 3rd month of being a stay? and I really loved reading ff on here even tho I had no idea how this app worked LMAO I've already told her but @rachalixie's hurt/comfort drabbles were my fav thing to read, she was one the first ppl I followed on here, and so, tmi, I was feeling so anxious and I wrote a channie helping u through an anxiety attack drabble (that I never posted AJSNJSB) and I was like hold on! this is fun! i can write what I want??? and post it for people to read...... like I was already writing some poems for a couple of years now but they were just for me yk, so i got super ambitious and i posted a long ass OT8 saying ily for the first time as my first fic akssjnjb i was so nervous like actually shaking and refreshing the notif bar every two seconds, i still rem the very first two comments i got, i think that's when it hit me that people actually READ stuff I wrote.

short answer, i've always loved writing and then stayblr -mainly anny inspired me to start writing too hehe

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

wahhhh probably coming up with lines i'm proud of?? i also loveee weaving parallels into my fics and for everything to come full circle, I love the symbolic aspects of fic writing in a way, thinking of mundane things and giving them an important significance for the characters!!! someone commented underneath Orange that they cannot believe they're crying over oranges and that rlly made me giggle!! that's the point HEHEH

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

for me it's descriptions ;;;; especially when it comes to sceneries or clothes or omg PLACES like decor and all,, I can't envision these things in my mind so I always worry I'm not describing them well in my fics,,, also the little transition scenes where nothing MAJOR happens but that are still pivotal to the right flow of the story ;;; yeah these mess with my head the most

21. Have you ever used fanfiction as a way to explore your own emotions or personal experiences?

hiii heyyy ofc i did ZJKNJD i think a lot of authors will relate but art cannot be completely separate from the artist, every work u read of mine has a little (or big) piece of me in it, that's why it's so vulnerable for writers to share their works on this scary place because u are perceived and judged for them and u hope that someone will find solace in ur struggles or relate to ur worries,,, and this is really helping me mend back my rp with love!!!

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?

JUST DO IT!!!! seriously go for it, you'll 100% cringe at ur earlier works later on but u will also improve and learn and discover things about urself that u would've never known otherwise!!! be self-indulgent and write things for urself and there will be always someone who will appreciate them

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

im trying to think of smtg i never mentioned before mmmm.... oh I think that trying to include bits and quirks of the member u are writing about is always so fun and makes the story more enjoyable for the reader!! ofc we don't know what these idols are like irl BUT there are some aspects of their personalities that we know of (like their interests or small habits) and it's always fun to incorporate into ur story, also helps with the characterization hehe

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

THE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!! nothing beats the feedback for me it's literally what makes the entire thinking, writing and editing process worth it!! the feedback is what keeps me going and fuels my motivation, it is so so important for writers I can't stress this enough,,, I'm so so grateful and lucky to have such sweet readers who leave me the most THOUGHTFUL feedback, like with just one rb u could erase SEAS OF DOUBTS in the writer's mind. i always say this but the only way for me to know if my fic is good is by reading u guys' opinions,,, so yeah the feedback is my fuel ;;;;

7. How do you handle writer's block or moments of creative stagnation? 8. Do you have any rituals or habits that help you get into the zone? 28. What's the most ambitious or challenging fic you've ever written

i answered these here and here <33

[essayofthoughts]

7, 11, 13 & 17 for the writers asks!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Hm so. Two parts. Part 1. When, when writing something, I manage to solve a tangle of problems in a way which feels satisfying and ties up enough loose threads without seeming unreasonable and unrealistic. And Part 2. When I manage to write something that people connect to? Some of the comments on Ripley's Assistant and That Balance May Return and that people have sent me privately give me strong emotions.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

I hate killing my darlings, hate it, hate it, hate it. I've got better in recent years about deleting lines, but I still loathe it and prefer to rework things and rewrite it than just delete. And the problem is, my memory is terrible, so either 1. I delete it and forget it forever or 2. I remove it to a doc of notes and then forget I have a doc of notes. So generally, when I can, I try to move a line immediately to the relevant doc, or I rework it. I know sometimes it's necessary to delete things but I will never stop hating it and it's probably a good thing for me that I tend to get ideas of whole scenes. That way I can edit a great deal of it, but as long as the overarching scene is the same, I don't mind. (If I have to delete the scene... noooooooo 😰)

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

There is a very solid answer to the first part of that question but it's also complicated so I'd rather give you that answer in private, Mike, if you want to hear it. For another answer of something that's difficult for me to write - torture. I usually get around this by writing indirectly, letting the reader's mind fill in the gaps, because rather as with horror that's often the more effective way, but yeah. Not for me.

I also struggle to write the POV of outright malicious bastards just because I don't see the point of that kind of perspective? I don't see what is gained by being like that. I see it as deeply self-defeating and struggle to write it when I can't make out the goals of it or how it connects to other people.

As for easy - I mean, you've seen my fics. Manipulation, trauma, healing from violation. Angst and Hurt/Comfort in general, tbh. I struggle to write pure fluff, it feels deeply substanceless to me, but angst and hut/comfort have texture and I can always write those.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Mrrm. I don't know that there is much that won't make it in? Like, someone once commented about Ghost Cass something along the lines of how it can be kind of slow paced and... yeah. It's my self-indulgent "Take as much time as you like" fic in some respects, and while I do want to keep the plot moving it's also that... it took me ages to get from writing ficlets and oneshots to writing big fics! I am relishing it now. But also, because of this, a lot of the ideas for lore and history and details and stuff going on off-camera... we'll get bits of it anyway? Characters will inform others of lore, details of what happened elsewhere can be backfilled with other POVs, and for example with the Briarwood Arc part of Ghost Cass there's gonna be a downtime fic, and that's gonna cover Vox Machina, sure, but also some NPCs that are relevant, both within Whitestone and elsewhere, and help to provide some of that additional detail.

Idk. I don't like it going to waste? This is why I used to have such an issue of infodumping worldbuilding into a story. It's the whole reason I made monsterblog way back when, so I could infodump things in one place and redirect to it instead of infodump again in a fic. Instead I kind of work in background worldbuilding as information which a character has due to their background and it provides both worldbuilding and character information.

But I guess like, if I had to pick one piece of random background worldbuilding, lets go with my fave:

In my headcanon (shared with @blorbologist) - it starts with how Whitestone keeps bees. Snow Mead is a locally made Whitestone alcohol, and for mead you need honey. However, if you're making it in reasonable quantities you're probably taking quite a bit of honey, (not to mention honey just to sell as honey, and beeswax) and this is Whitestone, where it's cold and there's a shorter summer, so there's fewer flowers, so there's less for the bees to feed on. Mead was valued by the Norse because it used honey and honey wasn't cheap! It was a rarity, a treat.

But Whitestone makes Snow Mead enough that not all that long after the Briarwoods' occupation is ended Percy is able to obtain some Snow Mead amongst other local alcohols, which means the business has likely been continuing even during this occupation - an occupation which prevented trade between Whitestone and the rest of Tal'Dorei, I would note.

So the beekeepers need a way to sustain their hives, right? And IRL the way that's done is with sugar water. But sugar hasn't been cheap, historically, because it's kind of a pain to grow and refine and it was usually imported and made from sugar cane. We know trade was cut off for five years, so how are these beekeepers getting sugar for their bees? Given Whitestone climate, it can't be sugar cane imported or home grown, so most likely it's sugar beet, as grown in some of the fields near where I live.

And, if they've got hardy sugar beet growing, then they might well even have a surplus of sugar. Which would explain how, even as Tal'Dorei was rebuilding after the dragons, Vox Machina were able to set up a very prolific and successful bakery/pastry shop in Whitestone. Importing sugar, even with their money and connections would be tricky, and Vex doesn't like to waste money - if there's sugar locally they can get and use that at reduced cost.

And, further, it would be a source of income for the whole city even aside from the whitestone and refined residuum from the mountain quarries, which would help to explain why, despite it's small size, it hasn't just been subsumed into Tal'Dorei. Between it's isolated location and it's local sources of wealth, it's able to stay independent where other areas might find benefits in joining Tal'Dorei.

And... yes, that's a headcanon I came up with purely from Whitestone's climate and the fact they make mead.