#yeah this has been making so fucking angry

[snowysosturn]

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 13

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: angst, tension

The morning sun spilled through the sheer curtains, my head was still heavy from last night, and my body feeling sheer exhaustion of what had happened. I had barely slept, replaying the scene at the restaurant over and over in my mind. The embarrassment, the sting of Matt’s words, the way I had to walk away while holding back tears.

A soft knock at my door made me wake that bit more. "Hey, you awake?" I hear Nick’s voice from through the door. 

I remembered I locked it once Matt left last night so I pulled myself from my bed and unlocked the door letting Nick to come in. I turned and walked back to my bed, sitting up against the headboard, pulling the covers around me. Nick closed the door behind him before standing at the end of the bed. "Alright, spill. What the hell happened last night? You left, and then Matt stormed in looking like he just saw a ghost."

I exhaled, rubbing my temples before looking at him. "Your mom asked Nate if he was seeing anyone, and he said no, which was fine, right? But Matt decided to make it seem like that was some kind of rejection for me, like I was meant to be upset about it. Then, out of nowhere, he brings up to your mom and dad that Nate and I went on a ‘date’, which you know yourself wasn’t even a date, so then Nate tried to clarify that we were just friends, but Matt just kept pushing it. Then he said that I was a quick fuck and then friend zoned. Right in front of your parents." I swallowed, feeling the embarrassment all over again. 

Nick’s eyes widened slightly, but his expression darkened. "What the fuck?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah and I’m so embarrassed if your parents heard that last part because first of all, I had just met them, and second of all, it’s just not even true. It made me look bad, it made Nate uncomfortable, and Matt acted like he had some right to embarrass me like that."

Nick sighed, running a hand through his hair. "No I get why you’re upset like he was way out of line. But listen, when Chris and I came back in, our parents said you were lovely and that they hoped you felt better soon. I’m telling you they didn’t hear that part."

I let out a slow breath of relief. "Really?"

"Really" Nick nodded. "They just thought you weren’t feeling well and needed to leave early."

I sank back into my pillows, finally feeling like I could breathe a little easier. "Good. Because I swear, I was ready to dig a hole and disappear forever."

Nick laughed. "Nah, no disappearing allowed. But are you gonna talk to Matt about it?"

I frowned, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "We did last night kinda, but I’m still so angry. And the worst part is, I don’t even know why he acted like that. It was like he wanted to embarrass me."

Nick shrugged. "Matt’s an idiot. He says dumb shit, but he also knows when he’s messed up. I guarantee you, he feels like shit about it right now."

"Good" I muttered, still unwilling to entertain the idea of forgiving him just yet.

Nick sighed again but didn’t push it further. "Alright, well, the four of us are going out with my parents for the day. You coming?"

I shook my head. "I think I’m just gonna stay back here today, I just want things to die down."

"Thats cool." He stood up, stretching. "Try not to overthink it too much, alright?"

I gave a half smile. "Easier said than done."

As Nick left the room, I rolled onto my side, staring out the window at the pool below. I knew I wouldn’t be able to just brush this off, but at least, for now, I could breathe a little easier knowing that Nick’s parents didn’t hear Matt’s words. Still, the anger remained, simmering just beneath the surface. Eventually, I decided I needed some air, some sun, some quiet, and a break from all the tension.

I slipped out of bed and grabbed my swimsuit, opting for a tiny bikini that I knew would be perfect for lounging by the pool. The straps sat snug against my skin, the warm morning air already filtering through the open balcony doors as I pulled my hair up out of my face. After tossing on a loose cover up, I slid into my sliders and grabbed a towel before heading downstairs.

As I reached the foyer, the others were gathered, chatting and getting ready to head out for the day. The energy in the room was light, filled with laughter and the occasional clatter of sunglasses being thrown into bags. As soon as they spotted me, they greeted me, well everyone except Matt, who didn’t even glance in my direction.

Chris was the first to speak. “You coming with us?” His tone was casual, but his eyes scanned my face like he was checking in.

I shook my head, adjusting my towel over my arm. “Nah, I think I’m going to take it easy today. Just chill by the pool and relax.”

Nate nodded approvingly. “Honestly? Probably the smarter move.”

Chris shot me a small smile. “Enjoy the sun. We’ll be back later.”

I returned the smile, forcing the tension from last night out of my mind. “You guys have fun.”

With that, they all filed out the front door, their voices fading as they disappeared down the steps. The villa was suddenly silent, the only sound being the faint rustling of palm trees outside.

I exhaled slowly before grabbing an ice tea from the fridge and making my way out to the pool, letting the warm sun wrap around me as I laid my towel down on one of the lounge chairs. Finally, peace and quiet.

I stretched out on the lounge chair, letting the sun soak into my skin as I sipped on the cold drink. I had left the villa door open, wanting to hear when everyone got back, but after a while, another sound caught my attention. 

A knock.

Frowning, I sat up, adjusting my bikini top before grabbing my cover up and slipping it over my hips. I wasn’t expecting anyone, and the guys wouldn’t have knocked, they had keys.

As I rushed barefoot across the cold tile floor, I hesitated for a second before pulling the door open. 

A mailman stood there, holding a large box. He barely glanced up before handing it over. “Delivery for Fresh Love.”

I furrowed my brows but took the package, feeling the weight of it in my arms. “Oh, thanks.”

With a nod, he turned and walked back down the driveway. I shut the door with my foot and carried the box to the kitchen counter, setting it down with a small thud.  I smirked, realizing this must be the personalized samples Chris had mentioned, the ones he ordered for all of us.  I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture of the box before opening up my messages with Chris.

Me: Personalised samples just got delivered.

A few seconds later, the typing bubbles appeared.

Chris: Sick! You check ‘em out yet?

I glanced at the box, debating if I should wait for him or just open it now.

Me: Not yet. Was gonna let you do the honours.

Chris: Okay cool. We can do a shoot with them at sunset later.

I bring the box up to Chris’ room and set it on the bed so he can see everything when we get back in. If we’re doing a shoot I want to look extra radiant and glowy, and that won’t happen from standing inside the villa. I grabbed one of the body oils in my room before making my way back out to the pool. I poured a little into my palm, rubbing it over my legs as I stretched back out on the lounge chair.

Matt’s POV

We were halfway through the guided tour when Chris suddenly checked his phone and said, “Oh, the personalized samples came in. Y/n just texted me.”

Hearing her name wasn’t helpful. Not when I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind since last night, and god how she looked in that bikini earlier didn't help. I kept my eyes straight ahead, pretending I didn’t care, but my mom didn’t let it slide. “Oh, Y/n is such a lovely girl” she said with a warm smile, then turned to me. “Is she feeling better now, sweetheart?”

Before I could even begin to answer, Nick cut in smoothly. “Yeah, she’s fine. Just needed a bit of sleep.” His tone was light, brushing off the question like it wasn’t worth pressing. He knew me well enough to know that I didn’t want to talk about it, especially not here, not in front of everyone.

I kept my mouth shut and just nodded in agreement, though the truth was, I felt far from fine. Guilt sat heavy in my chest, chipping away at me. Last night, I had let my emotions get the best of me. I let jealousy, because let’s be honest, that’s exactly what it was, take control, and I lashed out in the worst way possible. I had said something cruel, something I couldn’t take back. And knowing Y/n, she wasn’t the type to just let it roll off her shoulders. She put up walls, and I had given her every reason to keep me on the other side of them.

The more I thought about it, the worse it got. I had no right to be mad at her, no right to act like what she did or didn’t do with Nate, or anyone else for that matter, was any of my business. But that hadn’t stopped me from taking a low blow, from making her feel small in front of people who barely even knew her. If she had done that to me, I’d be furious. So what did that say about me?

I exhaled, dragging a hand through my hair as I barely registered the tour guide’s voice. My mind was somewhere else entirely.

I had to make this right.

I knew I had a way to make it up to her, it was something I should've done ages ago. And now, I could only hope it wasn’t too late for her to forgive me.

Y/n’s POV

I was sitting outside on the patio, a plate of food in my lap as I watched the sun dip below the horizon. The sky was painted in soft shades of pink and orange, the kind of sunset that made everything feel a little quieter, a little more peaceful. It was one of those moments I wished I could freeze in time, just me, the sunset, and the distant sound of waves hitting onto the shore.

But then, the front door swung open, breaking the stillness.

The familiar sounds of shuffling feet and tired voices filled the villa as the guys returned. I set my plate aside and stood up, making my way inside to greet them.

“Hey” I said, leaning against the kitchen counter as they walked in.

They all looked exhausted, Chris, Nate, Matt, and Nick, their faces slightly sunburnt, their hair tousled from the slight breeze and even though they didn’t say much at first, their body language said it all.

Chris let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair as he took his cap off. “Long day,” he muttered. “We were out in the sun for way too long, and I think it’s catching up to everyone.”

Nate groaned in agreement, tossing his sunglasses onto the counter. “I need, like, ten hours of sleep.”

Matt didn’t say much, just nodded, his jaw tight. He looked at me for half a second before glancing away, like he was trying to avoid something, most likely me. I ignored the sting in my chest and forced a small smile.

“Yeah, we’re all wiped” Nick added, stretching his arms above his head. “Think we’ll just stay in tonight, order some takeout, crash early.”

“That’s fine with me” I said, realizing I was more drained than I thought. Between being in the sun all day and everything that happened last night, I could use a quiet night too. “I left that box in your room” I say turning to Chris.

“Cool I’ll have a look now, we can take pictures tomorrow evening instead, when everyones a bit more awake”

And with that, Chris, Nate, and Matt didn’t waste any time disappearing into their rooms, clearly eager to knock out for a bit.

Nick lingered behind, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m gonna shower first, but after that, I’ll come to your room? We can just chill for a bit, a movie maybe?.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

I walk up to my room, kicking the door shut behind me as I switch on the TV. The smart TV mounted on the wall was a lifesaver, especially on nights like this when there wasn’t much going on. I sink onto the bed, remote in hand, sifting through Netflix, too see if theres anything both Nick and I would like. The knock on the door wasn’t enough to pull my attention from the screen since I assume it’s Nick, I don’t even think twice before calling out, “Come in.”

But it’s not Nick.

It’s Matt.

He stands there in the doorway, looking uncertain, a silver metallic gift bag dangling from his fingers. Looking like the same one I spotted in his room next to my ‘Thank You’ card. For a moment, neither of us speak. We just stare at each other, the weight of unspoken words thick in the space between us.

My tone is blunt when I finally ask, “Are you alright?”

Matt doesn’t answer. Instead, he lifts the bag slightly, as if offering it to me. His expression is unreadable, something between nervousness and determination.

“What is it?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Just look in it” he says quietly.

I hesitate for a second before reaching out, taking the metallic bag from his grasp. Peeling back the layers of tissue paper inside, my breath catches in my throat.

It’s my locket.

The delicate chain pools in my palm, the pendant glinting from the sunset shining in my balcony window. My fingers tighten around it as I snap my gaze back up to Matt, my heart pounding.

“Where did you get this?” I demand, my voice barely above a whisper.

a/n : most of this is a bit of a filler soz

taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit

[blubunz]

What about older Leon wanting to breed his hybrid because he needs to calm his bunny's heat 😤

Been wanting to write this too oml🤩🤩❓️❓️ like imagine you being so needy that you can't sit still, and it gets on Leon's nerves so he just pins you down and gives you what you want :D

Anyways I wrote a little something based on this um hope u enjoy :³

Tags: degradation, breeding, riding, slapping, oral (m receiving), hair...uh– ear pulling.

You've been bothering him lately, hugging him and attaching to his side at all times. You keep rubbing your head on his thighs as you kneel on the floor and him trying to watch his movies, and when he gets you up to his lap, you sniff his neck and keep humping on his thigh.

He eventually has enough and pins you down, Leon promises you he'd get you pills to calm your heat down, since it's so late as of the moment, but you can't stay still. You promised him you'd be good, but you have limits too.

"Enough, brat." Leon pins you down and peels your bottoms off, he gives your ass a hard smack, the sound echoed in the living room as he repeats the motion over and over, making you cry and sniffle, yet your cunt has never leaked so much, the pain brings you a twisted form of pleasure.

"Wanna be bred, hm, bunny?" He sneers, grabbing your wet cheeks and pinching them together to pucker your lips. "Wanna be stuffed full? Want me t' breed you?"

You whine and nod continously, hips humping up to his bulge straining against his pants.

"You've been a bad girl, though." He grabs a fistful of your ear, dragging you over to his lap. Leon's aware your ears aren't meant to be played with, but he couldn't care more, fumed by your behaviors.

"Maybe if you do good, I'll fuck that tight pussy of yours." Leon unzips his pants and his cock springs out, standing tall with the tip an angry red.

You little bundle of fluff called a tail just wags so excitedly as you pump his cock, pupils blown wide and hungry. Your juices make a wet spot on the couch where you kneel as you swallow his cock down your throat.

You moan, eyes roll up and and drools running down your chin as you clumsily slobbering all over his cock. Leon groans, grabbing your ears and bobbing your head up and down on his cock.

You cry out more as Leon tugs on your ears so roughly, even though, you relish in it, throat tightening as you try to swallow some of your saliva mixing with his cum.

"Fuck, fuck! That's it, bunny! God, look at you drooling like a whore. Is it good, baby? You miss eating this cock?" He moves his hips up to sync with your head movement, his head tilts back against the couch.

Leon fucks your throat until he stops and forces your head down, shooting white hot streaks of his seeds down your throat, and you eagerly gulp every drop. As Leon lets go, you keep slurping his cock, cleaning up every drop of cum, that's enough to make him hard once more.

Leon slaps your ass, making you jolt and let go. Leon grabs your cheeks and pulls into a rough a kiss, tilting your head to dive his tongue deeper down, tasting himself on your tongue.

He pulls you seated on his lap mid-kiss, positioning his tip against your dripping heat, feeling your juices down his shaft.

He thrusts up into you without warning, elicting a gasp from you. Your eyes filled with lusts tongue sticking out as amyour hips move on their own, bouncing on his cock in no time.

"Yeah, ride it, slut—fuck, pussy's eating me s' good..."

Leon groans, his cock fits in your pussy just right, not too tight or too loose — it's just perfect.

It's crazy how wild you're acting at the moment, Leon knows about heat, but he never seen it go this far, how you're bouncing as if you belong in a porn film, how your tits bounce along with your movements.

It's too much for Leon, he's not that young anymore, but it also feels good how his cock is twitching painfully inside you, hard and slick enough for you to use like a toy.

You're babbling nonsense, and Leon can't make out anything except for his name on your lips. He grunts out your name too, eyes squeezing shut before opening to reveal his crossed eyes, just as lost in pleasure like you.

His hands tighten on your thighs, digging into the plump, thick fat of meat while you bounce and hump. You moan higher and louder when he circles your clit and bites your nipple, sucking it like a newborn baby.

"Oh god, Leon!" You whine, your hands groping his own chest as the clapping sound of your ass slap against his thighs grows louder and louder.

Your ear and tail twitch, keep muttering and pleading for him to cum inside you, and fuck, Leon couldn't agree more to that idea, chasing that sensation of filling you up.

"Yeah? You want it, bunny? You want me to shoot my thick cum inside, huh? Huh?" He huffs out, biting your shoulder enough to break your skin. "Want me to give you baby bunnies, hm? Give ya not just one, but hundreds of them." He's eggxatrirating, you may be a bunny, but he's not, but he plants that thought inside your head, down to your pussy and you gets tighter, gritting your teeth while you rut against his cock.

"Yes! Yesss! Want it sooooo bad, Leon! Need your cum! Pleasepleasepleaseplease—" The way you beg him like this looks so fucking cute, and Leon groans, shooting deep inside you with his babies, filling you up in no time.

You cry out in pleasure and cum too, then lying limply on his cock as your body twitches in pleasure.

Leon turns you both around, bending your body by pinning your legs on either sides of your head, he hasn't taken his cock out yet, his cum still warm deep inside your pussy.

"I'm keeping my words, baby, gonna pump you until it leaks out in chunks." He whispers, and resuming his pace. The night is still young.

[butchisrevolution]

dolly dog man readthrough #8

grime and punishment

THERE'S SOME INSANE SYMBOLISM IN THIS ONE

also yes i skipped a readthrough and yes it is in my drafts, im publishing it later bc i had problems with the image files

this is a metaphor for life and having the autonomy to choose your own path and this is probably gonna be the theme for the rest of the book

im guessing

all of grampa's experiences with others in life have been transactional, likely since childhood, to the point that he is unable to see others in any way other than a means to an end

while his son, petey, fits an NPD diagnosis almost exactly, grampa seems to fit an ASPD diagnosis almost exactly.

anddd

andddd

this is the most open he has been about his feelings. and its in an altered state

this is a metaphor for people who avoid therapy and medication, instead opting into dependence on recreational drugs to regulate and process their emotions

petey hangs onto the hate towards his father because it's the only thing he has left with him in relation to his father. giving up the hate would mean giving up his father, and deep down he still just wants to be loved, so he settles for what he's given

being a witness to abuse is really hard, especially when you're trying to explain it to someone who wasn't around to see it, someone younger. you want to protect them from the harsh knowledge, but you want them to understand your pain. it's even harder when you have to watch your other parent simply take it, settle with the abuse, because they feel like there's no escape. it makes you lose hope and really shapes your expectations for what life will look like for the worse.

OH FUCK. SHIT

side note: the composition of these frames is really nice... in the second frame, his son's speech bubble comes from behind him, as if it's sneaking up on him. the sizzling of the pan goes off the page to the right, continuing as his son talks, but it abruptly stops once he finishes the sentence. it literally shows the room going quiet.

in the last frame, petey is super far behind him. there's a divide between him. it's as if li'l petey is fading into the background and an invisible barrier, petey's memories, is brought to the foreground. a divide between them, really showing how different their experiences of life are.

i also appreciate how the color changes of the background went through these panels, starting a deep angry color, fading to a more neutral, some tension with the yellow, and then desaturating as the question is asked.

silhouette comes in clutch every time. this entire scene is genuinely a cinematic masterpiece

i appreciate that they took the time to show that even when there's tension between them he still makes sure to take care of li'l petey

sickening page

this was created so beautifully.

the third panel is absolutely stunning, the symbolism managed in the imagery in such a simplistic comic is incredible. the bottled weeds from earlier in the book on the counter, the weeds that li'l petey specifically referred to as dying, which ended up symbolizing resistance in struggle... in this scene, it means both of those things at the same time. there's a duality.

also, the buds of the weeds being white i assume symbolizes grief and loss. outside, it's dark, the world is a dark place, but they've made a loving home together, which is why the walls are still multicolored. petey is struggling with issues from the past, but this time he's not alone and he can't give up. it's a lot of mixed feelings, just like the mixed colors on the wall.

he has a point, the little anarchist has a point

ACAB chief my beloved

he just does it for the fun of the game

i feel like im witnessing a Socratic seminar in comic form

to hate or not to hate

or smth

YEAH TELL EM LI'L PETEY SET THOSE BOUNDARIES

bro needs to stop parentifying his child !!

I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA COME BACK.

shitt bro...

let go of your baggage or it will only weigh you down

also i rlly liked the artistic decision to make petey's outline glow more when hugging his son so cute

fun fact this is actually a DBT crisis skill called "Pushing Away"

when there's nothing else you can do to make a situation better, you're allowed to give yourself the benefit of retiring from it. you're not required to stick it out for every problem in your life. you are allowed to have peace of mind

and now grampa has no choice to accept the situation for how it is. it's settled and boundaries are set. he can't wriggle out of them. it was a direct, neutral statement with no judgement. when you're in the wrong, sometimes that's the hardest thing to sit with. if someone tells you something you did with no judgement and you feel ashamed because of it, you can't blame it on the way they said it, you can only blame it on what you did.

PERFECT DBT SKILLS. PERFECT BOUNDARIES SETTING.

yeah this is essentially what people are saying when they try to make you explain your boundaries

if you fight enough with someone they may forget their footing and adjust their boundaries, but you don't have to fight, you don't have to explain your boundaries, you can just set them and leave it.

real shit bro real shit

IM FUCKING TWEAKING HOLY SHIT

that bottle again,,,,

after years of struggle he lets his inner child finally feel and see. he travelled his path and now he's ready to share his resilience with the rest of the people in his life, ready to reconnect in a new way, instead of hiding his resilience in private, ashamed, as if it's a show of weakness. he's learnt the strength of being open

YOU CAN COLOR IT ANY WAY YOU WANT......

FIEND! FIEND! FIEND! FIEND!

so THISSS is the sauce they put in this book...

EACH BOOK KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND ALSO MORE HEARTBREAKING

IM GONNA GENUINELY START TWEAKING

DAV PILKEY WHAT ARE YOU

[blacklegsanjiii]

Okay this is so random but Zeff and Sanji getting saved by FREAKING Kaido out of all people and he gives them permission to have their restaurant but declares Sanji as his second son and basically Sanji is the back up heir in case Yamato is still having his Oden phrase when they're both adults. I feel like Sanji is extremely protective of his big brother because Yamato while extremely Standish off towards Sanji at first, the duo do get along and Sanji actually gets Kaido to chill with Yamato by bringing up how his father doing that with him didn't work or something. Sanji keeps in contact with Yamtao and Kaido after he and Zeff are able to get their restaurant. He still joins the Strawhats and the story plays out basically the same with Sanji being more ruthless towards his enemies. However when they meets Ace in Alabasta, he's like This guy is the one who wants to kill my dad and bone my brother and is on guard the whole time. But he does soften up to Ace. He ends up having Kaido save Ace and Whitebeard by saying that Ace would be better to grow stronger and maybe he would be the one who could be the opponent that Kaido has been waiting for but Luffy still feels useless because he couldn't save his brother by himself. And then they all train for two years.

Sanji meets Sabo and K during the two years and they become a throuple. Sabo wanted to thank Sanji for helping to save Ace and suddenly they're flirting and now Sabo has a girlfriend and a boyfriend.

Doflamingo recognizes Sanji as Kaido's younger son and freaks out and runs away from the Sunny because he's not about to give Kaido a legit reason to hunt him down.

WCI happens differently because Big Mom also Sanji as recognizes Kaido's younger son and it's Reiju who's being forced to marry one of Big Mom's children (ethier Katakuri or Bruelle) but Sanji has to attend as a guest to represent Kaido which is when the Strawhats finds out that he's Kaido's adopted son. And he feels like he doesn't belong with them anymore. Luffy quickly makes sure that Sanji knows that he absolutely belongs with them. Also Big Mom genuinely wants an alliance with Germa here. Sanji wants his sister to be Free.

Finally in Wano, Yamato and Ace reunite first and then Sanji reunites with Yamato and is extremely angry towards Ace for dating Yamato Sanji's big brother and when Zoro points out that he's dating Sabo, Sanji claims that it's 100% different.

Okay so that's terrifying. Imagine Kaido rolling up, taking them to Wano, and then just dealing with that. Sanji has so much trauma and then just dealing with Yamato being standoffish and peak Oden phase and Kaido treating him like Judge treated him? Yeah Sanji's not having a great time. Sanji is straight up suffering and you add in Queen? Everyone knows but Kaido isn't letting Queen do anything. Yet. There's a threat of it but like with Yamato's cuffs which is wild. Yamato is standoffish towards the newcomers, the child especially. Sanji is avoiding him, he's loud and he doesn't him and Sanji already knows what happens when kids don't like him. It's this weird dynamic for a while when they first arrive. It's this weird and daunting revelation when Sanji starts feeding Yamato that he's just this kid like him in a shitty situation neither of them want to be in but are forced to be in. Also the food Sanji and Zeff make is so fucking good and Yamato feels like crying every time he eats their food.

They grow up together for a while. They're all a little more comfortable with each other and Sanji talks to Kaido about his dad, what he did to him and how it doesn't help anything to constantly be antagonistic. It makes things worse actually, Sanji should know because his dad had a funeral for him despite not being able to kill him and Kaido listens intently and earnestly which is very unusual because he drinks so much and is rarely sober and doesn't listen to things he doesn't want to hear. He adopts Sanji by saying if Sanji ever needs killed it won't be a problem for him, he's not weak like the King of Germa. Sanji nods and it feels like a weight that settled in his chest has been weirdly Iifted. He feels freer despite being captive, even more so after Sanji and Zeff head to the East Blue to open Baratie. Sanji keeps writing letters to Yamato, keeping in touch with his older brother and sends sparsely to Kaido who responds even less than Sanji sends. All Sanji knows if he's needed he has to go back, to rule Wano in his adopted father's stead because that's part of his deal with cooking at Baratie and being the second son of Kaido.

Not that he thinks Yamato would be a bad ruler it's just the whole Oden thing and Kaido being Kaido about it. Yamato eventually writes about meeting Ace and his crew, the fight and the vivre card and Otama, they admits to liking Ace a lot. Sanji writes back about the warlords, the East Blue, other pirates and the Navy. Sanji is also known for ruthlessly kicking people out of Baratie. Literally. If they drown, they drown, everyone knows they technically are Beast Pirates even if they don't fly the flag. Still, when the Luffy and the others show up Zeff tells him to leave and Sanji does. He smirks at the fishmen to take back Cocoyashi. He probably killed a few too many to stay under the radar but Kaido would not want anything else from him. He still writes to Yamato and when he meets Ace he gets to listen to everything Yamato didn't say, which he regrets. Let it be known he regrets it. Ace is fucking WHIPPED for his older brother and it's gross. Sanji has never seen love or adoration like that and he rolls his eyes and gags. Ace playfully shoves his shoulder and says he'll understand one day, the bark of disbelieving laughter is enough to make Ace frown at him. They go their separate ways and Sanji keeps getting closer to his crew even as it grows. Nobody recognizes him as the second heir to Kaido, which he's thankful for. He lets Robin read some of his letters to and from Yamato, he makes desserts from Wano that delight Chopper. He barbeques with Franky and lets Luffy climb him and cling to him after breaking his back and takes care of Nami's trees.

So when they're separated on Sabaody, when they're on the way to the execution out of pure desperation calls Kaido and begs him to help Luffy save his brother. And maybe he accidentally kicks a few Okama a little too hard. Still, when he meets Ivankov he finds out Kaido did help his captain, as did King. They were a big enough distraction to pull most of the attention to them and save Ace. Both still heavily injured but it's good. They're safe. Sanji spends the first few weeks training when he's accosted by a man in a top hat and suit and a girl racing after him trying to get him to stop and Sanji reflexively kicks the guy away. He looks dazed and confused at Sanji and Sanji is being cautious. That's it. Just cautious. Iva is chastising them for scaring the boy and they're apologizing rapidly and it's so fast Sanji doesn't understand it. He's just staring at them and Koala eventually stops as Iva inches closer and just claps their hands around Sanji's waist which makes Sabo stutter to a stop and have his nose start bleeding. Koala runs away, bright red and stammering an excuse. She's gone. She has fully abandoned Sabo and Iva is losing it. Sanji is looking at the man whose nose is just pouring blood and looking at Iva who just pinches the dress a little tighter on his waist before Sabo just fucking bolts away. Sanji doesn't know how to react to that so he just shoves Iva off and goes back to training.

It's a couple weeks later when the two revolutionaries come back and start flirting with him in full force, which confuses Sanji. A, because they're draping over each other and using sweet words and touches on him. And B, who the fuck would look at Sanji and decide they wanted him? Sanji is pretty sure Zeff and Kaido only kept him out of some sick sort of obligation, which is laughable. Kaido feels no obligation to his own blood child and is actively trying to take himself out and it's not working. Still, Sabo and Koala are flirting with him and Sanji is smoking his cigarettes while watching them, they're going all in. They are petting his arms and hands, lighting his cigarettes, calling him pretty. Sanji is repaying the kindness but damn. They're down bad for the cook, and Sanji agrees to a couple of dates with them. They go well and Sanji thinks it'll stop but then they keep going out and Sanji watches them kiss and then they'll kiss him and wow. Okay. He's also sold. He loves this and he thinks he's starting to love them towards the end of his training. He doesn't say it, wants to give it time. Even if Sabo and Koala are staying with him whenever they're in Kamabaka, they're adults, no one asks but the deliveries Sanji gets are well meaning and used. Kamabaka is nothing if not free, in more ways than one. They're goodbyes are sweet and long and they're so sweet. Sanji promises to write them.

And he does when he sets off again with his crew and Ace now, back to writing Yamato and now Sabo and Koala as well. His crew notices but Sanji mentions he started dating a couple of people and no one fucking believes him. Even when they pick up Law, he doesn't believe it. Then when they're in Dressrosa Sanji keeps getting looks from the members of the Donquixote family. Law is flabbergasted to show up when Sanji is strung up by Doflamingo and is back tracking quickly. No apologies or anything but Sanji is released and Law sends them off. When Law and Luffy demands answers for Doflamingo's cowardice he just starts laughing at them, they don't know who they're traveling them. He's not about to piss of Kaido for fileting the heir to the Beast Pirates, or one of them. Law and Luffy don't believe him at all and then kick his ass. Sabo and Koala meet everyone after when they're in the cabin. Sabo is happy to meet most of the crew and Koala is whining about Sanji not being there. When Zoro, boldly and mildly scared, about why Luffy's brother and his girlfriend are asking for the shit-cook.

They're the ones dating him. Law has absolutely lost it. He's not with it. Zoro is staring at the ceiling in wonder as Robin giggles about it. Sabo thanks them for watching after Luffy and Sanji, ruffles Luffy's hair, then they dip. Law just wants peace from this damned crew and he is not getting it, especially as Ace is confused his dead brother isn't dead and is dating the cook. They head off to Zou to meet up with the other half the crew and then they find out the Cook is gone. Kidnapped by someone and Nami is crying because they couldn't stop it. Sanji meanwhile is sitting with his family that he hasn't seen in years to prepare for his sister's wedding. Linlin had said Sanji can't marry her child and the Vinsmokes don't know why. Until it's stated he's there as on behalf of another emperor, Kaido. It isn't until the wedding is ruined by the rescue team, the assassinations fooled by his crew and some minks that Sanji hesitates going back.

"You're going to help us kick Kaido's ass right?" Luffy asks.

"Well yeah, he might be my dad, but he's still a piece of shit. Wano doesn't deserve him." Sanji says like it's obvious. "I just don't think I deserve to be on the crew."

"You're my cook, nothing's changed." Luffy assures. Sanji nods and Nami hugs him. "Also, Ace says you're dating Sabo?"

"And Koala." Sanji nods. Luffy bursts into laughter as Nami and the others look confused. Luffy says Sanji is dating his brother and his girlfriend, but he and Ace thought that Sabo was dead. Sanji is now realizing he's dating Luffy's brother. He's not happy Sabo didn't tell him but he'll deal with that later. When they make it to Wano they're separated, but Luffy winds up with Ace and Otama, who is climbing all over his older brother. Luffy says not to worry he brought Sanji with him, that he's willing to help the fight.

"Oh, Kaido's son?" Otama asks. "He hasn't been back in so long, I've only ever heard stories about him."

"He's one of the best people I've ever met, kind to his core." Ace smiles.

"Really? He's so cool from what I've heard!" Otama yells. "Yamato tells us all about Sanji's travels, he sends letters here!"

"Wait, Sanji writes letters?" Luffy asks.

"Well, since nothing gets into or out of Wano, the letters are the only exception." Otama explains.

"Oh, Sanji never mentioned those." Luffy says. Still things carry on, mostly as normal. Everyone talks about Sanji being Kaido's son as he looks at them all with just this defeated look. Most of everyone is staring at him like he's insane. He brings up that everyone should have known. Law is mumbling to himself about Doflamingo and everything. Hiyori is demanding answers about Kaido from him and Sanji is saying he doesn't know shit and that he was only allowed to leave with like the promise if he died and Yamato wasn't fit he would come back. But personally he would like to see Queen dead, he doesn't care what happens to King. He wants Yamato to experience freedom though, like he has. Hiyori looks pissed, rightfully so, but it still hangs in the air they were traveling with Kaido's youngest.

During the raid Ace and Luffy run into Yamato. Ace is wrapped in Yamato's arms as the taller smiles down at him. Luffy asks if he's Sanji's older sibling and Yamato says they are. Luffy laughs because yeah, he is Sanji's bigger sibling is BIGGER. Yamato is huge and strong as they make their way through Onigashima. Sanji is doing his level best with Queen and the raid suit he did get. Like it's all still following and then after the raid, Yamato finds Sanji for the first time and just grips their little brother to them and holds him.

It's been years. Years since they've seen each other, years since they've hugged, years since they've been safe in Wano. Ace is laughing at them, even if Sanji says to fuck off, he's still pissed at him for dating Yamato, kind off, not really.

"Don't you date Sabo and Koala? Wasn't that what I heard in Dressrosa?" Zoro deadpans.

"I don't know, I wasn't there. Also I don't see how that matters." Sanji argues.

"I can't believe you guys date each other's siblings." Nami sighs.

"Only would our crew manage this." Usopp sighs along.

"That's different, we have a girlfriend too." Sanji says. Yamato laughs loud and boisterous and free.

[sparklyfaerie]

God, the way Joyce handles Buffy being sexually active pisses me off. Like yeah the way she found out wasn't ideal (being taunted by your daughter's psycho ex-boyfriend is probably one of the worst ways) but my God, woman, can't you tell that your daughter is clearly traumatised by the whole experience??? Read the fucking room! She has been showing obvious signs of heartbreak for weeks. Stop badgering her!

I know it's symptomatic of 90's attitudes when it comes to sex, but jesus christ that is your child. Shaming her for making a mistake (and, let's be honest, she was groomed by an older man, she is the victim, here) when she is now suffering extremely for it is not the way to go.

Joyce has a complete lack of empathy in the early seasons. God, it makes me so angry.

[regulationhottie7905]

Back on my bullshit analysis, now from Will’s pov!

From a young age, Will knew he was Different in some way. I think a lot of his pain comes from the fact that it’s something about himself he couldn’t figure out, at least for the first 13/14ish years of life. There’s something about the way he is inherently, something about the very state of his own existence, that makes other kids, his own FATHER call him a fag.

Honestly, for a long time, I don’t think Will even had a concrete idea of what he was actually being accused of. And when he met Mike in kindergarten, he had made one good friend, and that was really all he needed. Then, he made more friends in Dustin and Lucas, and everything was perfect for awhile. He could get through the bullies and everyday little insults with his friends. (This goes for all the group and ties into ST’s overall theme of friendship).

Him and Mike were a team. They always were. Mike rescued him from the Upside Down, and Mike slept by his bed to protect him from nightmares, and if Will went crazy, Mike said he would go crazy with him. They’re a package deal. They’re Best Friends.

But in s3, Mike begins spending more time with El and Will barely sees him anymore. Dustin goes away to summer camp. Little by little, his friends begin drifting apart. After all, Mike is the one who introduced them. He was the DM. S3 is the first time in the last year-ish that Will has been in commission, able to engage with the world around him and play with his friends. He just wants to play D&D. He just wants some normalcy. Dustin is back from summer camp, why don’t they just play like they used to? And there’s a part of him that’s angry. So angry.

Mike is busy. He won’t stop leaving with El, but when they’re not together, when he’s with the guys, he COMPLAINS about her (as evidenced by Mike’s bitching post breakup with El in s3). El’s fine, but she causes a lot of drama, and Mike doesn’t seem to like her that much anyways. They should just play a game together. Like they used to.

So he does. Will spends the time and effort to get everything ready, and he knows it won’t be as good as Mike’s. But Mike is even more annoyed, and god-fucking-dammit, Will just wanted some normalcy with Mike, but if he can’t have that, he’ll just go home. So he tries. He tries to leave, but Mike chases after him, and he doesn’t know what Mike wants. Mike tries to get him to stay, but for what? So he can scoff at Will’s every word? Every movement? Every breath?

So Will is honest, just like he’s always been. Mike’s been being an asshole anyways, and usually he sees sense. Back and forth and back and forth, and then Mike says it.

“It’s not MY fault YOU don’t like girls.” As if this is Will’s fault. As if HE’S the one who’s been being a dickhead all summer. As if it’s Will’s fault that him and El are fighting, and Will was just trying to help. As if Will has an issue with El. But there’s no point in fighting, and Will’s never been a fighter anyways. It was Mike who usually defended him anyways. There’s no point in having this conversation.

When Mike asks him if he thought they were just gonna play video games for the rest of his life, Will just shrugs. “Yeah, I did. I guess I really did.” Because they’d talked about it, hadn’t they? While Dustin mooned after Nancy and Phoebe Cates and Lucas mooned after Max, it’d been the two of them. It had been the two of them first and it was going to be the two of them forever… or so Will had thought. And so Mike had said.

He thought Mike understood that they were a party first. Him, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin. And Max. They’d survived the Upside Down together. They’d barely seen each other all summer. They had been a team, and Mike was ripping it apart.

He wants to play D&D and have fun and enjoy himself for just a little while. He wants the old Mike back. The old Mike who ran D&D campaigns like it was nothing, and was getting into trouble in middle school for cussing out teachers, and slept by his bedside when he was sick, and helped him on Halloween.

He smashes Castle Byers. Where he’d hidden in the Upside Down from the Demogorgan. Where this all started.

“FUCK!”

He misses Mike.

Is this the part of him that’s so repulsive?

Is this the reason his dad called him a fag?

Mike and Will don’t talk about the fight. The Mindflayer comes too quickly, and the Byers moved to Cali soon after that.

During these 6 months between s3 and s4 is when Will sorts through everything and figures everything out. He is not repulsive. He knows what he is. He knows who he is. Now, it’s just a matter of how people will respond to the information.

And Mike. He knows he’s in love with Mike. But El and Mike are still together, and he can’t ignore the twist in him every time he sees a letter for El and not him. There’s probably a perfectly logical explanation that Mike give him when he visits on spring break. Him and Mike were friends, weren’t they? Weren’t they?

So he makes him a painting. He pours all his time and effort into it, trying to remind Mike of his roots. Trying to remind Mike who. he. is. He’s done hiding anyways. He rolls up the painting and brings it to the airport, and he can’t help the way he smiles when he sees him for the first time in what feels like years.

But Mike can’t even look at him. He pats his back awkwardly and moves to El without a second glance.

Will doesn’t even bother to hide how upset he is this time around.

MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

I think Will’s longing gazes in s4 are on purpose. I don’t think he cares enough to hide anymore now that he’s figured himself out. Mike’s already been a Grade-A Asswipe (a sympathetic asswipe, but an asswipe nonetheless) and I think this is Will’s reaction.

Will is many things, but he is not a liar (“friends don’t lie”). He is a genuine, sincere person. It’s only an escalation of his s3 actions.

So fine. Treat me like this. But this is how I feel, and I’ll say it regardless of your discomfort with emotion. Take it or leave it.

I think the scene while they’re digging the grave in s4 really exemplifies this- everyone can see that Will is just standing there, staring directly at Mike. If Will was shy, or genuinely trying to hide it, wouldn’t he look away the first time Mike noticed? But he keeps looking. Even once Mike does a triple take, then begins digging again, he keeps looking.

The rink-o-mania fight is also a great example of this! It’s Will who brings up genuinely how he feels about the way Mike’s acted. “We’re friends! We’re friends!” Mike insists, but he’s defensive, the same way he was in the garage last summer. Will brings up the contradiction in all of El’s letters, and only a few for him. And for just a minute, you can see Mike falter. “I don’t know. Maybe you should have reached out more.”

When I first watched ST, Mike’s, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” immediately struck me as him projecting. Like anyone, I’ve read a lot of analysis and I’ve seen a lot of takes, but let me explain mine.

In my opinion, until s4, there’s more evidence to support the idea that MIKE is the one who doesn’t like girls, rather than Will. He only has 3 close (guy) friends. He never remarks on girls he finds pretty, he shows zero interest in any girl but El (which I honestly think is just him trying to hold on to a veneer of heterosexuality). In s2, Will, Lucas, and Dustin wants to be friends with Max- it’s Mike who dislikes her.

I think Mike and Will have always had a different kind of friendship. Even if they don’t have the right words for it, it’s kind of like the codependent homoerotic teenage friendships people make memes about. I mean, honestly, Mike won’t properly apologize to his own girlfriend but he runs with his tail between his legs to apologize to his ‘best friend’. Mike has always known he was Different, but he didn’t have the support system Will has, or the time to try and figure it out.

In s3, Mike is going headfirst into his relationship with El. He’s copying everyone around him and doing what he thinks he should do, which (imo) is why he spends SO much time making out with El (living up to the red blooded American male fantasy) than establishing a genuine relationship with her. Something about it is Off, but I don’t know if he’s even admitted that to himself. And Will made him stop (with the “day without girls”). Will made him hang out with him, and Will made Something Happen.

They’ve always had Something between them, but verbalizing it is too dangerous in a town like Hawkins in the 80s. They just knew that they were… different. Best friends in a way Lucas and Dustin weren’t. But Mike crossed the line during the fight (“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”) and after he says it, you can see him pull back. He felt guilty and weird and he didn’t know why, and he felt defensive and felt like he was backed into a corner so he said it. Will was being earnest and honest in a way he wasn’t ready for- but he doesn’t know that. He just knows that he felt sick and needed Will to stop. So he blamed Will. Because it’s Will’s being weird, right? Will is the one who’s making him feel weird, because HE’S the one being weird about it.

“It’s not MY fault YOU don’t like girls!” As much as we like to joke about it (Mike accusing Will of being gay whenever they argue) a lot of byler fights make a lot of sense in this vein, and I think it’s a really interesting insight into his character imo. Will is being honest and genuine in a way Mike isn’t ready for. Pushing Will away and attacking him in such a vitriolic ways really ensures that Mike’s masculinity is protected while Will is shamed (in Mike’s mind, at least.) The Byers moved to Cali so soon that the events of the rain fight were never truly discussed.

Mike REALLY hurt Will and I think that’s why he didn’t reach out- because he didn’t know what to say. He avoided his feelings and thinking about Will as much as possible and wrote El letters. But seeing Will at the airport changed something. He’s taller. He’s grown. He’s confident now (I’ll get back to that later). And when he sees him, Mike’s stomach does something it’s never done before. And he doesn’t know why. But despite that, he goes to hug his girlfriend. He doesn’t hug Will.

I firmly believe that Mike is gay (again, imo. Bi Mike people, ily, I love ur analysis, ur cool asf, this is just my opinion). I don’t think he’s ever felt a genuine attraction to El. He’s mimicking his parents and his friends and comics and fairytales- he will be her knight in shining armor, her Superman. With El, it’s friendship and the anxiety of a facade, but he mistakes it for the butterflies of a crush. With Will, it’s the only time he feels something REAL. I just don’t think he’s used to feeling genuine feelings, especially powerful feelings (let’s not forget he’s a teenager, the hormones are RAGING) and while he likes it (even though he has trouble admitting it… I think he gets better as s4 goes on though) it’s overwhelming and scary. I think he interprets those feelings as some kind of threat (especially considering that he’s been bullied before) or at least, he subconsciously does.

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[vaguely-concerned]

in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this

[risingsunresistance]

sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck

i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"

[thedreadvampy]

unfortunately the world is too fucking messed up so I am currently unable to give a shit about how messed up everything is because it's all too big and if I get upset about any of it my entire ability to be a person will come crashing in

normal service will resume as soon as possible

[brittlebutch]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

[eschynite]

Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

[american-neurotypical]

i think the reason why i almost had 3 mental breakdowns each night for the past 3 days is because this was the month that all the friend drama bullshit started, and all the emotions from that is hitting me again now.

it doesn't help that i'm actually getting triggered from unrelated friend stuff irl. nothing is even happening! the most minor conflict of all time, and i go into a panic attack and feel nauseous. shit sucks

[kjzx]

I've been playing slitherio these past few days, and after some time messing around with nicknames and my own experience with the stuff, I've realized anger is something very easy to weaponize. On my second attempt of having "trans rights" as a nickname I killed a huge ~5k point worm as a teenie tiny 200 point worm simply because it was so desperate to kill me specifically. Anger makes your life harder, but it also makes people really unwise. I fucking bet this is in "the art of war", even though I haven't read it.

[skitskatdacat63]

I really hate how twt makes it impossible to rly look back at your acct past a certain date. Like when I wanna re-live the glory days of some past fandom on tumblr, I can go back on my archive. On twitter? You're fucked imo.

Man, I just wanna look back at my acct to see the fanart I reblogged when some specific genshin pv came out, but it's basically impossible. It makes me wish I downloaded a lot more art/fanart in general, bcs its so hopeless atp :/