#yeah theres some stuff that hasnt aged well

[beastly-boy]

I am a slut for great dialogue. Most Popular Girls in School is my baseline for excellent dialogue. I want Than & Brittany's mixed messages back & forth from season 2 tattooed on my body.

[vampvelvet]

i think the most important thing to realize as a trans man when it comes to misogyny is that instead of thinking/saying/acting like "misogyny directed towards me sucks because im not even a woman!" you should instead be looking at it like "misogyny directed at me sucks, nobody should have to endure that. the fact that im not a woman doesnt matter to these people. people of all genders can be impacted by misogyny, and its not right for any of them"

its a subtle change and although it is just a matter of words, i think its an important distinction so that your defense of your gender doesnt get in the way of recognizing the root of the problem. obviously transphobia is another issue in its own right but both things do exist and need to be confronted

[matoitech]

i havent fully rewatched gravity falls as an adult like i did w adventure time uhh last year maybe? but ive been kinda surprised w eps ive seen of gf as an adult how much stuff actually aged more poorly than it did in adventure time. from what ive seen  not like.. a LOT of stuff or anything but like. its noticeable that it exists at all

[shoezuki]

cracks knuckles. i promised to elaborate and i will.

the one common perspective that everyone seems to be able to agree on is that techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo are just genuinely funnier than the dteam, and honestly yes it's because if the popularity. if you go back and watch the dteams older (im talking before 2-3mil subs) videos they are funnier than their current ones and i think it's because they're trying to shift their humor to a broader audience?

the minecraft community has always been mainly queer/poc/ndv kids because it was exiled away from "acceptable society" for so long that only the people who had already been "exiled" continued to enjoy it. I, as an example, stopped playing when it became a cringy thing because I was so worried about being seen as weird. now that ive discovered, come to terms with, and enjoy my queerness, i realize that if i had known i was queer back when mc was exiled i wouldve continued to play because i alrwady would have known what it was like to be part of that seperate society. (Please keep reading i promise I have a point)

but then minecraft came back. minecraft became mainstream again, and it came back HARD. watching it go from something that you would be bullied immensely for to something that you would be bullied for not doing was an extreme experience. in all honesty im still angry about it, but that's another topic. when minecraft became mainstream it brought with it all of the people that hadn't been part of the exiled societies yk? including... the dream team.

dream blew up. we all know how much he blew up. i personally dont believe he cheated on the speedrun but to each their own (although after reading your stuff and becoming more critical of them im realizing i might need to reexamine that), and the speedrun controversy brought even more people to his base (cough drama loving straight white girls cough).

when they were brought into the fanbase that's when it started to go downhill. they shifted their humor to fit that, or maybe their humor was always that and they just got more confident in showing it after they had gotten a fan base to back them up. which is also why techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo (who ill refer to just as techno&co now because he's the main one but also that's long as hell lmao) are funnier than them!

for one, their fanbases are smaller. now 5 mil is by no means a small number, but compared to dream's 16 mil? yknow. especially with techno's wack upload schedule he's never had to worry about having a stan fan base because the only people who stay are people who genuinely enjoy his content the way it is.

two, techno&co are mostly ndv. techno has adhd, tubbo has dyslexia, wilbur had and maybe still has depression, ranboo has anxiety, tommy hasnt confirmed or denied his adhd but im betting he at least has borderline. i am in no ways saying that being part of one minority (in this case ndv) gives you free range over another (queer), but all minorities have this understanding about what it is to be part of an exiled community (if that makes sense).

philza and schlatt, not so sure if they're ndv, but they're also older and generally more mature and esp in philza's case, theyve had their chance to make their bad jokes and pull stupid shit and theyve grown out of it (if they ever had that phase at all). techno&co have that understanding and even if they dont know where the boundaries are they know that queer humor (and all humor! other than techno, sbi doesnt really make gay jokes) going to have boundaries, and they respect that.

three, techno is the funniest bitch because he has adhd. i dont take criticism on this point because im right.

i probably missed a lot, probably got some stuff wrong, but all in all i think i hit my mark. i can come off anon to chat anytime if youd vibe w that. no pressure to respond to this! have a good day, etc etc, it was fun getting to tear into the dteam in a safe space. respect for them and their fanbases, their humor is a little off but i still gotta respect how well theyve done. btw i woke up and rolled over and started typing I haven't proofed this at all so yeah. :) - andy

And your brain is fucking massive yo like u must got chronic back pain too from holdin up all these Thoughts in ur head

I really like. Minecraft fans is So varied cuz like u said it was so very 'cringe' before. I got into mc again n playin it w my siblings years before it Popped Off again entirely cuz i stopped Giving a Shit that it was 'weird' or any a that. N sbi have been goin strong through it So Long both when it was hotshit and when it was "cringe"

N definitely like minecraft ive always noticed has a Massive ndv community. I dont know entirely what it is like definitely part of the 'cringe' factor like u said and also cubes make our brains go brrrr? The aspect of self expression in it? I dont know but we Been Here

I do think dteam's content and shit like. It obviously moved in sync with perceptions of mc to garner a Big General audience. Dream blowing up entirely had to do w the Trends and how mc got popular. Therefore hes audience is Huge and Varied

In contrast w techno n like. He has blown up quite a bit too. But i feel its fair to say he Hasnt altered his content significantly. Or at least like. How its presented, what he does, etc. For fucks sake he doesnt have a stream schedule. And although his content is Still garnering a Large and really varied audience it feels more like. Isolated and homogeneous almost

Like. I can go into the technocord right now and say 'dont forget to take your meds' and at least 20 or so ppl would be all like Oh Fuck Whoops. Theres SO many of us adhd ppl in there. I always goof bout techno jus sayin pspspsps and the neurodivergents crawling up from the floorboards but honest to god. His content and jokes and i suppose Personality jus appeals to us So Much. Same goes for sbi pretty heavily honestly altho i feel its most evident in techno's most Dedicated fans

Also. Lbr. The people who stay through technos schedules and content Droughts are the ones who be hyperfixating Abskfvdkdsjsjsl

BUT going into sbi as a Group like. They are friends. And together they are fucking hilarious. N i feel it strongly like. The fact theyre all such Varied people of different ages and such helps w that shit. It Works So Well.

Long story short being neurodivergent makes you funny as hell letsgo

[coolgirl]

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell  

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well. 

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly. 

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too. 

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um  covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA! 

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions 

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :( 

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… &  while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia 

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it. 

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment. 

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so 

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation 

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development..  n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh. 

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

n 

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton. 

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there.. 

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone. 

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.  

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :( 

[drmazel]

hey, if it helps at all, i feel similarly about that stuff as an ace lesbian. theres a lot of lesbophobia that ive experienced from that community since i first entered it (age 17, 10 years ago now). and it hasnt changed as much as ppl claim. i recently saw a post claiming that ‘the most virulent aphobia comes from gay ppl and lesbians” and ofc the OP was neither of those things. it just sucks. i want to share in the positivity but not if it means putting up with that shit.

yeah that sounds about consistent with my past experience. sorry that you have to deal with that, friend. I hope it's at least some comfort that my post means that there's at least one other person that shares your experience and opinions, as well as anyone else that has messaged to agree with me? it's hard to build a community since by design we have alienated ourselves, but at least for me it's nice to know I'm not alone.

[halohamilton]

Idgi whats the big issue with t*ylor? Why do people get upset and not like her ? You also ?

See, heres the thing, right; i dont like her and i dont see myself ever liking her... there was a time where i enjoyed her music but her whole attitude change is frankly off-putting and immature. That aside (because it isnt anything new --- it happens with a lot of artists in the industry) theres stuff shes done that have offended, hurt and made people upset. Especially poc. Including myself. Her representation of africa during that music video of hers for example? Yeah, not cool bro. And i hate when i or any other person for that matter are mocked about the way we feel for it. Our feelings towards her are valid. Its so much more than "oh youre just hung up on what happened with her and harry years ago" (even though shes still profiting off it to this day but anyways), the criticism towards her runs much deeper and the way some people are playing it off as if its nothing is so upsetting and disappointing.

I dont care if she has friends that are poc or part or the community. Does that make my feelings and tons of other people's automatically invalid? No.

Millions of people still support musicians like Chris Brown, so does that make him innocent in what he's done then? No it doesn't. People are still hurt by what he's done. They're still upset. And they have every right to be.

By that same token, what she's done in the past can and will affect people, regardless of how you feel personally. And to play it down or mock people or call them "problematic" for calling her out on doing that shit... well, then maybe it's time you take a step back and reflect on what you're doing.

She hasnt apologised for anything. I don't see her changing. Her making a song telling people to calm down is not redemption to me nor is it to a lot of other people. I don't care if she's actually gay, it doesn't make any difference to anything she's done or doing wrong.

You can argue with me again, saying she has friends part of the community or that are poc and i still wouldn't care because that's not the fucking point.

And it's like people conveniently forget the amount of power white women still have in the industry.

If you are someone that in any way tries to make a poc or someone thats part of the community feel like shit for not supporting a white feminist then you are honestly just like every other white person out there and it makes me sick to the stomach.

The fact of the matter is that white people will never understand what's it's like. I'm not being mean or nasty, that's just a fact. You can't look at something that a poc is upset by and go "Oh but that happened ages ago, move on"

News flash, a lot of things that happened years ago to a poc still affect them to this day.

In conclusion, like who you like but dont make me feel like shit for not liking them back. My reasons are valid, regardless of what you say.

[wing--it]

If you don't mind me asking, when did you find out you were asexual? - a questioning ace

hi!! ofc i dont mind you asking!

okay im gonna tell a little story which has come to be known as ‘the burger story’

under a read more bc its long as heck

so during high school i was super super shy and awkward, and i didnt like anyone to ever come near me. when the other people in my year starting dating and stuff i was just really Not Interested and in all honesty, i felt way too immature to be doing some of the things that i knew other people my age were doing. i knew i didnt want to date anyone but i always just put that down to being shy? and i figured i’d just find someone later in life and that was okay

and then i went to uni, and i finally got my glow up (!!), learned how to do my makeup properly and started slowly getting more confident talking to people. more guys started being interested in me, which was kinda confusing to me bc in my head im still an awkward teenager with zits and a bad sense of fashion lmao. so i had a few people here and there asking me out but again i just really wasnt interested and would much rather be on my own instead. i did try and get close to guys (usually when i was drunk lmao) and that was fine but not like ?? just not exciting like it seemed to be for everyone else. i think half the time i was just doing it because that’s what everyone else was doing, and i didnt want to be left out

so then i was like huh maybe im gay?? and i thought about that for a little while and even though i feel more comfortable around girls, i didnt actually feel attracted to girls anymore than i did to guys

by this point i was bored of wondering about my sexuality so i just decided to go with the flow for a while. and then i found out that this one guy i’d been good friends with for a few months liked me, and for once i didnt feel like i needed to reject him or push him away, i was happy with letting him be closer. he was really kind and gentle with me, would answer the phone at 4am when i called him even though he had to get up early for work and he’d carry me home when my heels were hurting, just an all around good guy

he wasnt my boyfriend or anything but we’d spend time together and make out and i felt pretty comfortable with him which is a rarity bc like i said, most of the time i’d just rather be by myself. i wasnt feeling the ‘spark’ that you hear people talk about in movies and i didnt want to, like, rip his clothes off when i saw him but i liked him and we got on well so that was enough for me

so this one night me, him and all our pals went on a night out together and as per standard on the way home we stopped at good old maccy d’s and i got a 99p cheeseburger like the queen that i am. and we all got a taxi back to our student halls and everyone started heading inside but he pulled me back and the two of us stayed outside

now i was still drunk at this point but i have a really clear memory of this moment in my mind lmao.we started to kiss and i put my arms around his shoulders, still clinging to my lil cheeseburger in one hand. i started to get bored of the kiss after a few minutes so i opened my eyes, and all i could do was gaze at my cheeseburger over his shoulder and i had this moment of ‘wow i’d so much rather be alone eating my cheeseburger than doing this right now’. a cheeseburger epiphany, if you will

so i pulled away from him and gave him the fastest ‘see ya pal’ of my life lmao and tottered up to my flat. i didnt think much of it on the actual night but i thought about it a lot afterwards, about how little interest i had in having sex with him. i thought that if i didnt want to sleep with this guy, who i liked and had a lot in common with and felt comfortable with, did that mean i’d ever find someone i’d want to sleep with?

i’d seen the term asexual floating around on tumblr and it seemed to fit in with everything i felt so i rolled with that. im not a big fan of putting labels on myself though; i dont want to close myself off to romance or sex completely because theres still a chance that in the future i will meet someone whose clothes i want to rip off, but it hasnt happened yet and for right now im happy with the way that things are

so my advice to you would be to find someone nice to kiss, treat yourself to something off the mcdonalds saver menu and see what happens next (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lmaoo but yeah in all seriousness, its taken years for me to decide on and come to terms with maybe being asexual (i’ve only actually told one person irl that im probably ace). if you think you might be asexual too then i hope i’ve been able to help in some way, all i’d say is dont try to rush the decision and just let yourself decide over time using your own experience

and if you do end up learning something about your sexuality then great!! pls keep me updated, i’d love to chat some more!

[fightingsobriety]

Sun in the Morning

i was so proud of myself. when covid hit i was only 6 months into my sobriety and so many people thought i was gonna relapse but i proved them all wrong, even myself. Instead i kept myself busy by cooking or baking, theres something about cooking, that brings me a peace of mind. Food in general makes me happy. i love going out with no real destination in mind and just finding a new spot for food and ive come across some of the best food in the smallest of spots, i was part of my best friends wedding, celebrated so many happy moments and fought thru the tough ones. i would go bar hoping with co workers or friends and i never had a trigger. people would continue to offer me drinks but i would kindly turn them down. i had my addiction figured out! when things seemed blue and my depression would get the best of me, i would get in my car and go try some new food or i would go buy stuff to make something new at some. cooking/food were my savior from alcohol, my outlet. 21/2 years of working on myself and watching me grow not only in age but in my soul, healing myself from this inner darkness hasnt been easy but the progress feels amazing. about 2 months ago i was diagnosed with a hereditary illness that has no cure. So it was tough news but i stayed strong but as i found out more about my condition the more depressed i got. the one thing that brought me out of the grey is now being taken from me. this illness requires me to dramatically change my diet, normal to most but its what i do for a living. i cook food, i taste food, i create food! i just love food and now its being taken from me as it was a punishment! its not fair, what have i done to deserve this!? never did i ever imagine that food would be taken from me in such an aggressive way. I can continue eating whatever i want, wont live long tho. i forgot how good it feels to talk about it, maybe if i wouldve just came on here and vented everything i wouldnt of relapsed. or maybe i wouldve, maybe this was meant to happen. oh yeah i relapsed and hard, oh well. Talking about it really helped. 

[edsbrak]

some Stozier hcs

bout to do some writing but wanted to warm up so here, my first round of Stozier hcs feat. dumb boys being dumb >:D (feel free to always send me stuff omg pls, im lonely) and I have to thank @stonedzier for legit getting me into this pairing I am in love

★ so, okay, it’s senior year for the losers club right

★ and it’s nearing prom time, and almost everyone is the group seems to be going with someone (bill and eddie; bev and ben; mike and a lovely boy named steven)

★ and basically everyone in the group KNOWS rich and stan wanna go with each other, it’s so fuckin obvious like?? smh

★  but these boys are stubborn, alright? richie hates talking about feelings, even more so with romantic ones (he’s scared of rejection okay?)

★  and it’s unexpected, but stan also closes up when it comes to admitting who he likes (he had a rough time coming out to his family as it was) and also is 98% sure richie could never like him back and that boy is such a damn flirt?? 

★ so cue stan fuming off to the side whenever they’re all together and richie starts going off about some hot babe he wants to plow (spoiler: there is no hot babe, not unless u count stan)

★ the rest of the losers are sick of being stuck between this weird sexually fuelled tension and just wish they’d both get their heads outta their asses but also dont want to pressure them into admitting it (its a tough life for them)

★ “so what, you wanna lose your virginity at prom? how cliche” snaps stan when richie wont shut up about the hotness of his supposed ‘date’

★ “please staniel, i lost that ages ago” says richie (no he didnt)

★ “whatever, trashmouth. id be forever surprised if she even agrees to it, considering your dick has been ‘all around the school’”

★ “fuck dude youre just jealous” richie grunts and looks away

★ and stan just?? breaks?? cause “yeah, you moron, youre right. I am jealous, congratulations. so fuck you and your date, i hope you two have a magical night” and he just storms away, hot tears prickling his eyes and mouth turning down with each step

★ and richies just watching him go, eyes impossibly wide behind his glasses, and the rest of the losers are just like “well shit”

★ richie cant bring himself to move, watching hopelessly as stan finally disappears, and theres an eerily silence that follows

★ eventually he turns to see all of his friends looking at him expectantly like “well, what are you gonna do?” and richie has no goddamn idea, still too shocked to believe that actually happened

★ days later, its finally prom

★ stan decided hes not going, and he hasnt spoken to richie since his confession at the barrens

★ it hurts too much to think about, but he cant help it when images of richie dancing with some bimbo babe flash in his mind, and stan turns over in bed and groans irritably at himself, trying desperately to ignore the weight of dread lodged in his stomach

★ and then theres a pebble thrown at his window

★ he almost ignores it, figuring its one of the losers trying to get him to come outside. but the pebbles dont stop and stan doesnt want the window to be damaged so he gets up to yell at whoever is there

★ of fucking course its richie

★ “what are you doing here trashmouth? want me to embarrass myself even more in front of you? i dont have time for this--”

★ “stan, please,” richie says, and gives him a small smile “can you come outside? it wont take long”

★ stan stares long and hard, before closing the window and pacing around his room. he closes his eyes and figures, nothing else he could do could make things worse, so he makes his way down the stairs and cautiously opens the front door

★ his friends are all there, and stan looks aroud in suprise

★ eddie and bev release several party poppers, covering stan and his front porch (stan wants to clean it up immediately)

★ ben is holding up a boombox and playing some cheesy shit stan doesnt recognise

★ and then richie appears from around the corner and looks incredibly nervous, and stan didnt even notice before that hes wearing a very stylish blue suit - almost like the one he wore to stans bar mitzvah 

★ “richie...?” stan almost whispers

★ “h-hey...” richie clears his throat and pulls anxiously at his bow tie. he looks unbelievably gorgeous. “um... this is... me trying to win you over”

★ and then stan sees bill and mike hoist up a banner that has the words ‘wanna fuck shit up with me?’ written in red

★ “...what?” stan asks, confused

★ “richie see i knew that was dumb” says eddie as he gestures to the banner

★ “ugh, just,” richie sighs, shaking his head before laughing “basically, stanley uris... will you go to prom with me?”

★ and stan feels his insides turn hot and nerves creep along his skin. was this actually happening? surely not

★ he must have freaked out for ages because richies face has gone pale as he bites his lip in wait

★ “oh my god...” stan finally breathes “i am the hot babe”

★  and theres a pause, everyone blinking at each other, until richie starts to laugh hysterically and then everyone is definitely going “????”

★ “god, yes,” richie exhales, looking so fucking happy “youve always been my babe, babe”

★ and stan flushes so hard at how casual richie is acting, but doesnt want it to stop, ever?? and then richie is stepping closer and they both reach for each other and hold on so tightly and stans heart is beating so fast oh my god

★ richie kisses lightly along stans neck and whispers “its always been you”

★ and stan wants to cry, holy shit

★ richie turns back to their friends as says “thanks for your help guys, i got it from here”

★ and the losers all grin and roll their eyes and say theyll see them tonight at prom

★ and then richie turns back to look at stan, and stan cant look away as his fingers grip even tighter on richies shoulders

★ “you never answered me,” richie says cheekily

★ “huh?” stan is still recovering

★ “you wanna fuck shit up with me, forever?” richie asks

★ and stan needs a moment to catch up, and then hes giggling and rubbing at his eyes, and he feels richie step even closer

★ “yes, i wanna fuck shit up with you” stan says, and richie beams “as long as we do it safely. i mean, id be happy to write out a list of things we could do that dont have too many risks, like, im not gonna steal for you or involve any authority figures because--”

★ and richie cuts him off swiftly with a kiss, and stan completely forgets what he was saying

★ “oh,” richie grins “this is gonna be fun”

★ they end up hacking the music at prom to play dirty as fuck songs and richie somehow releases a hoard of pigs onto the dance floor and its total chaos 

★ and stan has never been more in love

[thesoundofmadness]

Memory Loss (Lloyd  Reader oneshot)

"LLOYD! WATCH OUT!" Y/n calls out as she jumps infront of him to take the time punch for him. She feels something like a intense shock and flys backward onto the hard concrete of the road. Her head hits the ground first, then her arm. "Y/N!" Everyone calls out. Lloyd runs over and picks her up. Tears fill his eyes. Her vison blurred. Everyone else just stood there, stunned and not knowing what to do. She starts to whisper into his ear. "Lloyd....please defeat the Time Twins. For Ninjago, for Master Wu, for your Dad, for me....please" She then looks the blonde boy in his eyes. He places his hand on her cheek and kisses her. It was a way for him to tell her he loved her before she fell unconscious. She realeses the kiss and hugs him again. "I love you....." She says quietly before she falls limp in his arms. Tears continued to fall as her hugged her tightly. "Y/n...no.....you're the most important person to me. More important than anyone else. Please....no! He sat there and cried into her shoulder fora few minutes. Everyone ran over. "Oh no...." "Y/n!" "First Zane, then Dad, then Master Wu and now Y/n. Why? Why? What did I do to deserve this?! Why?! It should have been me! Not Y/n! Why?!" He then wiped his tears away. "No. We have to stop the time twins. I have to stop them. " He handed the (h/c) (hair colored) girl over to Kai, drew his sword and pointed it at the time twins. All he could think about was Y/n. All he could feel was anger He ran towards the time twins. Aderinline was pulsing through his body. As he fought, flashbacks played infront of him like a movie. For about 3 minutes (pretty much as long as the song is) he fought the time twins. He then finally knocked them down to the ground, took the timeblades, used the reversal one on Y/n to get her to stop rapidly aging, then opening back the time portal and everyone went through it.

*timeskip*

Lloyd woke up in his room. He got up from the light green bed and stretched. It has been 5 months since Y/n got knocked unconscious and put in a coma. Those past few months hadn't been the best for anyone, more specficly Lloyd. He just felt like something was missing. He knew what was missing was Y/n. Ever since the accident with the time twins, his world just hasnt been as bright and colorful as it was when Y/n was there. It just didn't feel right at all. He then walked out of the room to the kitchen, made some cearal and ate it. There was this lingering feeling that this whole thing, was his fault. He felt this before. He first felt it when his dad died and then when he got possessed by Morro. This time it was different. This time it was stronger than before. When he feels like this, he distracts himself from the feeling untill it goes away but he just couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Y/n. It sucked thinking about it all the time and feeing like that but he just could not shake it.  He got up from his spot, washed out the bowl and put it by the sink. He then walked over to Y/ns room. He's been avoiding going in there since the accident. He took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in. He moved her legs and sat on the bed next to them. Y/n was asleep peacefully. It was adorable. It was like looking at a flower ready to bloom, even though this flower wasnt ready to bloom yet. He missed her smile, the way her hair smelled after a shower, how they would always stay up 'till like 3 am watching MLP on netflix (If you dont like MLPm screw you. MLP is awesome), them training together, everything. He hated not being able to do anything. He felt like he should have done something. He didn't know what but just something to let her know he was there. It wasn't right without her there. There was no one to tell him the most insteresting things at dinner, no one to joke around with, no one. When he does it with someone else it just doesnt feel right. He sighed. "It sure is weird without you here Y/n." He says. " I know you cant hear me and I dont except you to hear me, but I just need to get this out." He went on to explain some stuff about how much he misses her, how when she wakes up, he would tell her his feelings for her and that kind of things. Y/n stirred. Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Must be because she's been stiff for the past 5 months. He thought. She stirred again and slowly opened her eyes. "Y/N?!" Lloyd tried not to yell but accidently yelled. She grabbed her head. "Agh. Please d-dont be so loud. My head hurts really bad." "Uh.. s-s-sorry! I was j-just surpised thats all." He says with a chuckle. "Its okay. Um..forgive me for asking but who are you and who is Y/n?" He was shocked at first but them remember she got a pretty bad concussion so got over it quickly. Shit what do I say?!  "You look and sound familer but I just cant put my finger on it." He started playing with his fingers. "Uh...you are Y/n and i'm Lloyd. We were uh...." I could tell her that she was my GF and save having to explain my feelings to her. Nah that wouldn't be right. "We were what?" She asks. Her beautiful (e/c) (eye color) eyes were looking at him with confusion. "We were uh friends. Yeah! Friends before you lost your memory." "Ohhh. That explains some stuff. Alright Lloyd. You seem trustworthy and I feel like I should trust you so I'll believe you. Now where are we?" "Uh we are in your room in the Airjeztu Temple. Come on,lets go to the living room so I can explain some stuff that you need to know. Let me help you up." He says with a smile. She smiles back. She swung her legs over the bed and tried to stand. She just fell back onto the (f/c) (favorite color) bed. Lloyd put his arm on her lower back and pushed her up. She leaned onto Lloyd for support. "Try to take it easy okay? I dont want you getting hurt again." "How long was I out?" "5 months" Her eyes widened when she heard that. "5 months?! Must of been a pretty bad accident" "Y-yeah it was. Just be glad you didnt die. If you did I wouldn't know what to do." "What do you mean by that?" He blushed. "N-nothing! L-let's go to the living room. She gave him a 'are you sure about that?' look but then brushed it off. They just met, or re-met, she didn't want to get to deep into his bissnus.

"So you're telling me, we are ninja. We have these 'elemental powers' that allow us to do certain things. You're the Master of Energy and I'm the Master of (element)?" "Yep. We go around protecting Ninjago from bad guys. We're actually pretty good at it." "And we defeated alot of people using them?" "Yea." "Apart of me is telling me not to believe you, while another is telling me you're saying the truth. Are you really telling the truth?" Lloyd made a little energy in his hand.  "Woah. You arnt lying." "I'm not one to lie. How is your head?" "It still hurts but not as much as it did at first" Y/n took a sip of her tea. "Are there any other elemental masters on our team? Or in general?" "Yeah! Theres Kai Master of Fire, Jay Master of Lighting, Cole Master of Earth, Zane Master of Ice and Nya Master of Water. There's also our sensei, Master Wu and my mom Misako but they arnt elemental masters." "Oh. Okay. Where are they?" "Well, you see. We help run a tea shop in Ninjago City. They are there now. I stayed back because there needed to be someone here to make sure something doesnt happen to you." "Do they know i'm awake?" "No, not yet. I still need to tell them." "Why dont you do it right now? I dont mind." "Well, i kinda wanna make it a surpise. I have not idea why I just do." "Okay! I'm okay with that!" She smiled at him and he smiled back. You have no idea how much I missed your smile (n/n) (nickname). Lloyd sighed. "Is something wrong Lloyd?" He shook his head. "It's nothing." "Are you missing the way I was before the accident you wont tell me about?" He looked at her with a shocked expersion. "H-how did you know that?!" "You just seemed like you were missing something. I know that look on your face, I just dont know how I know." He looked at her with a smile. "You'll figure it out. And yes, I'm missing you before the accident but I'll through it. Dont worry. I'll do everything I can to help you get your memory back alright?" She nodded. He pat her head as he heard voices outside. She blushed alittle. "Lloyd! We're home!" Cole called out. Y/n raised her eyebrow (if you cant just pretend you can) "Guys guess what!" "Did Y/n- HOLY CHRIST SHE DID WAKE UP" "Hi!" She waved to everyone. They all had there mouths open. "Why didnt you tell us?!" "I wanted it to be a surpise." "Okay okay, before anything. Y/n do you know who we are?" Kai asked. "Uh...you look familer but I dont think I know you. You guys are the rest of the Ninja right? Lloyd told me about you guys but I wanna make sure" They all nodded simultaneously. After re-introducing themselves, Zane did a check to make sure nothing was wrong/ broken. At dinner, the ninja caught you up to everything that happened. The snakes, the nindroids, the ghosts all that stuuf. (Except Nadakan. Only Jay can remember. He doesnt like talking about it.) They also explained how you lost your memory. "Wait what? We went back in time, I got hit with one of the 'timeblades' and got knocked out?" "Yeah pretty much." "While you flew back, you hit your arm and your head pretty badly. Your arm is fine now but your head, not so much. You got a concussion. That's why you lost your memory Y/n." "Ohhhhh okay. I understand now. Anything else I should know?" "Lloyd has a crush on you." "I DO NOT." Lloyd yelled after Kai said that. "Why'd ya kiss her right before she passed out then?" She blushed. Hard. So did Lloyd. Both of your faces where redder than Kai's gi. "Hahahhahaha. I'm just kidding. Lloyd never did that." For some reason, she felt like they were lying but just shrugged. "Uhhh......" "WELL IMMA GO TO BED NOW GOODNIGHT" Lloyd quickly got up, cleaned off his plate and left, still with the blush on his face. "Did he really kiss me?" "Yep. Dont tell him I told you that though." "Okay. I wont. Well, im gonna head off to bed too. Night Kai" "Night Y/n"

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Im gonna be posting alot of these. Hope you enjoy them!!!  

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

[barblebapkins]

99 to 1 boi les'go

okay FINE ILL DO IT BACKWARDS99: Do you miss anyone right now? miss anyone in particular?? no, but i do wish i was with someone rn98: Whats your favorite color? green97: Do you want kids? idk? maybe?96: Do you have kids? no95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? no?? like who over the age of 6 does that94: Who was your HS crush? haha that stays in the vault!93: If married, how long have you been married? not married! yet!92: Do you want to get married? yes hehehahehehea91: Best room for a fireplace? the living room of course90: Can you knit or crochet? nope!89: Which are better black or green olives? i dont like olives in general88: Ever have plastic surgery? nope and doubt i ever will87: Ever won a contest? nothing worth remembering86: DJ or band, at a wedding? probably DJ85: Are you patient? depends, with people i think i have a lot of patience, but with other things i can lose my temper kinda quickly84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nope, i panic83: Can you swim well? not well at all82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? sugar81: Tea or coffee? tea80: Hot tea or cold tea? i prefer cold tea, though i havent tried much hot tea. i feel like i’d prefer hot honestly79: What was the last concert you saw? none! that aint my style78: Who would you like to see in concert? see above77: Ever been in love? yes! i am right now!76: Regularly burn incense? nope75: Own a record player? im not THAT old74: Own any record albums? NOT THAT OLD!!73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes heaehe72: Ever won a spelling bee? no, i probably could have though71: Can you curl your tongue? yea70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? dhedhehde shes currently in graphic design but she can do whatever she wants!69: Ever take dance lessons? nope! i cant dance to save my life and im fine with that!68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no?? i feel like someone else put this here67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? not a fan of either but probably sunflower seeds if i had to pick, cos i HATE peanuts66: Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos without a doubt65: Nike or Adidas? nike64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart is always a disaster every time i’m there, and kmart, while a nostalgic liminal space, is an awful shopping experience too63: First concert? already answered this twice haha62: What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and shorts, or just shorts, depending on how cold/hot it is61: Wear a bath robe? nope, i just wear my towel until im ready to get dressed60: Wear slippers? i own a pair but i dont really use em59: Take a vitamin daily? no but i wish i did58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? all the time, like something specific will happen irl and ill feel like i envisioned this exact moment YEARS ago57: Do you believe in ghosts? yeah, i’ve had more than one weird experience that i cant explain any other way56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? i kinda wanted to be a chef until i realized i cant cook for SHIT55: Favorite type of fruit pie? probably cherry54: Ever eat a pierogi? yes and it WASNT GOOD53: Is Christmas stressful? now that i actually buy stuff for everyone yes it is52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? not really, i still have a bit of a soft spot for les mis51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? in school probably50: Ever used a gun? yes, and i didn’t like it.49: Do you dance in the car? i am the most introverted person in the world, you’re lucky if you can even get me INTO a car48: Do you sing in the shower? no but i hum sometimes47: Do you sing in the car? nope46: Are you afraid of heights? deathly yes. if i even look UP at like a skyscraper i get nauseous45: Ever watch soap operas? not willingly44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? i dont really watch late night stuff but ive heard letterman is a bit of a dick43: Are you stubborn? i can be with some things42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? what the FUCK is a lincoln log41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? my brother keeps renewing my gamestop subscription so i keep getting gameinformer magazines and i want it to STOP40: Are you horny? no39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? dog bork bork38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? i honestly dont remember?? like i think back on it but cant visualize any of it37: Are you lazy? haha YES36: What is your usual bedtime? whenever i WANT it to be leave me alone35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? sadness34: Favorite kind of sandwich? i rly like cold italian subs33: Ever ran out of gas? i dont rly drive so no32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? see ^31: Can you change the oil on a car? no lmao30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? youre livin in the past grandpa, these days we project our brainwaves directly into other peoples heads from across the globe!29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? AAHH what the fuck no28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? for a little while but circumstances made me have to leave27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? haha hasnt happened!26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? my favorite movie ever is probably Up25: What is your favorite food? grilled shrimp pls GIVE24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? bbq sauce mm23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 30 x 2922: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? haha nice TRY pirates21: Whats your least favorite movie? cant think of any off the top of my head but im sure ill think of one later20: Do you still watch cartoons? i admittedly still keep up to date on steven universe and cant wait for the next episodes19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? of course!18: What is your Song of the week? sweats17: What size is your bed? i dont know and im too lazy to check, but its TOO SMALL16: How many people have you slept with this week? none, and i wouldnt ever just sleep with someone but thanks for asking i guess!!15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? yes if im nervous14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? i dont dance13: What about pooped in the woods? ew WHAT12: Have you ever peed in the woods? only cos we were camping and it was like 2 am11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? sometimes actually yeah, not for any good reason though10: What is your biggest pet peeve? nothing gets on my nerves more than dishonesty and/or uncalled for disrespect9: Do you always smile for pictures? no cos i have a BAD smile8: Do you have freckles? no but i have a lot of birthmarks7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? you cant outrun a swarm of bees6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? no wtf how old do these people think we are5: Do you like to use post-it notes? this is the FUTURE, DUDE!!4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? what the fuck who does that3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out, but not usually on purpose cos my sheets are very loose2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? no1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? i dont have closets only dressers, soo

[darkicedragon]

(Conversation with @o-c-o-c-o and @madameazzure)

darkicedragon tao just like ;-; over muzakas casual clothes 'u have so much money but you just get joggers?' 'i roll abt in the dirt all day?' m21 also just like 'yeah, so?' 'ILL GET TO YOU IN A SECOND, M Q-Q' ococo Muzaka in casual cloths will straight look he is in his late 20's or early thirties Him walking down with adult trio and being mistaken to be their age XD And yesss darkicedragon sob, yep XD ococo He wouldn't bother wearing fancy clothes since he would ends up in dirt XD darkicedragon only for work. ;-; suits are so damn restrictive muzaka walking around with rips in his clothes and frankenstein like, 'yes, this is why he doesnt wear suits casually'

ococo Plus it would be a fortune to spend over suits that would end up in the garbage XD darkicedragon absolutely XDDD even though theyre stinking rich. its still better for muzaka to buy his casual clothes in bulk, ahahhah tao trying to take m21 and muzaka shopping, and m21 and muzaka are inadvertently bonding over 'okay, we'll try out the clothes, but also, we're not interested in buying them' tao tried, okay q-q ococo

> absolutely XDDD even though theyre stinking rich. its still better for muzaka to buy his casual clothes in bulk, ahahhah

Being stinking rich isn't an excuse to waste a good suit XD darkicedragon XDDDD truuuuue ococo

tao trying to take m21 and muzaka shopping, and m21 and muzaka are inadvertently bonding over 'okay, we'll try out the clothes, but also, we're not interested in buying them'

tao tried, okay q-q M and Muzaka are like "you know our size, you pick" Tao is like OwO✨ darkicedragon XDDDDDD WOLF DESIGNS, EVERYWHERE ococo A day later M and Muzaka are dressed like K pop singers Or That darkicedragon aahahahahahah yessss ococo XD darkicedragon both two different sets XD ococo Yesss XD darkicedragon tao cries when muzaka comes back with dirty clothes the next day 'i DID tell ya im rollin around in the dirt a lot' ococo XD darkicedragon 'the silk was pretty good protection against the raptor talons though!' 'it held up pretty well, considering' ococo Ohh noo XD Muzaka in something made of silk thou >w> darkicedragon yussssss ....yeah, muzaka would have zero care for fashion. 'it changes too quickly to keep up, and then you end up with a room of clothes that don't get used up anyway' 'you destroy your clothes quickly too' 'well yeah, so all the more reason ta not keep up with trends' 'but sometimes theres a resurgence of 'retro' clothing, so then frankenstein can dust off his old clothes, heh' aZure honestly... I think he just wears Franken's stuff XD bc 1. smells like Frankne and 2. smells like Franken darkicedragon when hes worked through his current batch and hasnt bought a new bunch yet and ehehheheh yesssss though frankenstein def keeps the -fancy- clothes elsewhere. muzaka can stretch out his casual clothes though aZure XDDD imagine if at some point, Franken just buys and wears clothes around the house that are in Muzaka's size darkicedragon ahahaha yussss frankenstein keeping to the pull on tops, bc muzaka kept popping the ones with buttons ;w; muzaka eventually avoided them, bc he didnt want to keep wrecking frankensteins clothes, but frankenstein also switched bc he also likes muzakas scent on his clothes aZure XDDD yesss that and snuggling Muzaka when he's wearing new clothes to get his scent on them really just an excuse to snuggle and cuddle darkicedragon cardigans also means muzaka doesnt have to button them up, ahah yessss aZure Franken coming home to find instinctual Muzaka curled up on a pile of his clothes ... tho if Franken wasn't home, instinctual Muzaka would go find him darkicedragon eheeeheheh yessss. 'my den >w<' could depend, because if he's home, he feels safe, but yeah, needs to find partner as well aZure Franken working on somthing, and suddenly, he sees Muzaka with his face squished against the window like OwO 'hiiii' darkicedragon AWWWWW frankenstein opens the door and muzakas just content to just lay his head on his lap, ahahah ^=w=^ aZure YESSSS XDDD that's adooorableee back in the past, there was word about a frightening man that on full moon nights can summon a giant wolf darkicedragon yussssss aZure and yesss, Franken working and petting Muzaka bc awww yisss mothereffin pets =w=

“Come on, that outfit makes you look 50! Instead of the… 500 year old… that you actually are.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Least I Can Do (Part 3)

Summary: Jensen takes the reader on their second date where she experiences her first con...

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,100ish

Warnings: language

A/N: They just keep getting longer somehow...

“Morning sunshine,” said Jensen when you opened your door, a small carry on by his feet.

“Morning,” you said, waving him in. “There’s coffee if you want some.”

“Already made some,” he said, holding up a thermos. “You ready to go?”

“You texted me like three minutes ago saying to pack some clothes and whatever stuff I wanted,” you said, walking past your couch and into your bedroom where your empty backpack sat on the unmade bed.

“Was that not enough time?” he teased. 

“Do I need a dress? Nice shoes? A parka? I need to know what this con weekend thing is. Or where it even is,” you said.

“Are you that obsessed with clothes?” he asked and you scowled. Oh, if there was one stereotype you hated as much as the sleeping around underwear model it was the superficial clothes and makeup obsessed thing. “Y/N, relax. It was a joke.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you said. “We really don’t know much about each other and-”

“If you don’t want to go, then that’s fine. But please don’t change your mind because I tried to tease you and touched a nerve. I don’t think you care about name brands and crap like that really,” he said. 

“So,” you said giving him a smile. “Jeans and tees?”

“That’ll be fine. We’re going to a concert tonight too,” he said and you raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, give me ten minutes?” you asked and he smiled, pulling your door shut before you stopped him. “I’m not worried about you seeing my underwear drawer.”

“I don’t want to see my presents early,” he said with a smirk. 

“Oh don’t try this cocky flirting game with me Ackles. You’re gonna lose,” you said, watching him hold up his hands.

“I’ll behave for the foreseeable future,” he said. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

“Alright. Oh and Jensen?” you asked, watching him whip his body around after heading into your living room. “How much do I owe you for the plane ticket and hotel and stuff?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I didn’t have to pay for it so don’t argue that you should have to.”

“Wait, this is a show thing?” you asked. He nodded as he sat down. “Awesome.”

“Awesome?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I may or may not have binged like four episodes last night...” you said, walking back into your room to pack.

“So, are you a Sam or Dean girl?” he asked.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“Which one are you attracted to,” he said, a laugh in his words. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Oh, I like John,” you said. “He’s got that hot older guy thing going on.”

“You realize I’m currently older than he was when the show started, right?” asked Jensen.

“You’ve got that hot older guy thing going on ya know,” you said, popping your head out the door with a smirk. “Although you were an adorable baby boy back then. Your voice was so much higher.”

“Is this that flirty tease thing I’m getting now?” he asked. “I’ll give it right back sweetheart.”

“That’s a very Dean thing to say,” you said, walking into your closet and pulling on your airport outfit. A pair of leggings, the first tee in sight and a light hooded jacket. You slipped on your throw away shoes, the ten dollar sneakers that you didn’t give a crap about but held up amazingly well and threw your hair back in a ponytail. You tossed a pair of jeans, three shirts, pajama shorts, some underwear and your to go zip up with all your personal care crap in it. You quickly grabbed headphones, charger and a book before you were zipping it up.

“That was fast,” he said when you walked out after only a few minutes. “You sure you don’t want your laptop?”

“We’ll be busy probably,” you said. You glanced over to your dinner table covered with a few sheets of paper and your computer. 

“True. Okay. Everything off, and-”

“I have travelled before,” you said, walking over to your thermostat and turning it down.

“Thankfully it’s not across country today. Only a couple hours down to Arizona,” he said, stepping out before you so you could lock up behind you. 

“You still haven’t told me about what a con is Ackles,” you said, testing your door before walking with him.

“If you’re already binging the show, you’re going to have fun.”

“What?” you asked the front desk when you were checking into your hotel early that afternoon.

“We never received a request for a second room. Unfortunately we’re booked up,” they said and you sighed before heading over to where Jensen was talking to Jared in the lobby, waiting to go up to their rooms.

“Um, they don’t have a room for me,” you said, looking out the front doors. “I can try the hotel across the street.”

“Seriously?” said Jared. “They normally don’t screw up stuff like that.”

“I’ll bunk with Jared and you can have my room,” said Jensen, offering a smile. Jared seemed okay with that but you definitely weren’t.

“It’s your room, you should keep it,” you said. 

“I mean, you guys could share too. Not like you’re dating or anything...” said Jared, bumping his arm into Jensen.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours,” said Jensen.

“I’m okay with sharing. We wanted to spend more time with each other. That’s the reason I came in the first place, right?” you asked. 

“If he annoys the crap out of you just kick him out and send him to my room,” said Jared, patting your on the back. “Want to meet up in a few hours and grab dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,” you said. “Apparently there’s a concert tonight he’s taking me to so we should be back in time for that.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’ll be fun for you,” said Jared, sharing some sort of silent look with Jensen. “Later guys.”

“What was that about?” you asked. Jensen threw his arm over your shoulders and started leading you over to the elevators. For a moment you forgot all about the conversation were absolutely focused on all the warm muscle around you. 

“Y/N? Hello?” he asked, waving a hand in front of your face. Whoops. 

“Um, sorry, zoned out. What’d you say?” you asked, Jensen’s arm moving away to press your floor button and you wished he’d put it back.

“I may or may not be part of the concert tonight. I haven’t decided yet,” he said. You tilted your head up at him to see his green eyes staring back. 

“Yes you have you little flirt,” you said.

“I have to make you think I’m cooler than I actually am. I’ll use this to my advantage in any way possible,” he said, bumping into you playfully. 

“Right, because tall blonde and handsome isn’t cool,” you teased. Jensen was about to spout off something flirty back but a hand caught the closing doors and his arm quickly fell away. Two young women around your age stepped in, their eyes a little wide. He must not have wanted to draw any attention to you yet.

“Hi,” one of them said to Jensen. 

“Hi,” he said back. “You guys here for the con?”

“Yeah, it’s our first one,” said the other women. Jensen seemed genuinely happy as you realized they were both a little nervous to be near him.

“Y/N’s too,” he said, pointing at you. “What floor you guys on?”

“Fifth,” they said, Jensen hitting the button for them. 

“Are you going to sing at the concert tonight?” one asked as they got to their floor.

“I was planning on it. Have fun this weekend,” he said, returning the wave they gave him as they slipped out. 

“You handled that really well,” you said when you were alone. He shrugged.

“I’m used to it. Most people are super nice. We don’t really do bad stuff or get in trouble so no one bothers us on a day to day basis. No one follows me around or takes my picture. I’m boring. This is the most attention I get really,” he said.

“I like that about you. You’re normal,” you said.

“Let’s see how this weekend goes first and see if I’m worth keeping around.”

“Hey,” said Jensen, hopping backstage after finishing up a song, covered in a thin layer of sweat. “Having fun?”

“I wish you could have seen the exact moment her jaw dropped,” said Jared with a laugh.

“Oh my...you’re like fucking amazing,” you said, not sure where to look at him first. “You look like a rockstar and sound like one and play guitar, not to mention all the acting stuff and-”

“Told you I had to make myself seem cool,” he said, grabbing a drink of water.

“Mission accomplished,” you said, still in awe over him.

“I wonder how long that’ll last,” said Jared, Jensen whacking him with his bottle. “Hey, you got to tease the shit out of me when Gen and I got together. Payback’s a bitch.”

“I was totally in favor of you guys!” said Jensen. “I didn’t do it the second day you knew Gen.”

“I’m making up for lost time,” said Jared. “I mean, I don’t see you saying anything to Y/N for saying how cute your butt looks in those jeans.”

“Jared! You were sworn to secrecy,” you said, slapping his arm. 

“I need protection from you two,” he joked. “Besides, we don’t have secrets in this family.”

“He’s right. We don’t. Seriously though, you think I have a cute butt?” asked Jensen with a wink.

“Your cool guy factor is going down you realize,” you said, crossing your arms.

“Twenty seconds. That was longer than I thought,” said Jared, standing and stretching. 

“Shudyup,” said Jensen. You listened to a few more songs before the show ended and you stood up to head back to your room. “Woah, where do you think you’re going?” he asked, catching your arm.

“Bed?” you said back.

“If you want to we can. Or we can go out for a few hours,” he said. 

“I’m game. Not sure about an old timer like yourself,” you said, Jared raising his eyebrows as Jensen squinted.

“Oh, we’ll see about that.”

“Why is your alarm going off. We went to bed three hours ago,” you groaned.

“Sorry. Morning panel,” he said, his voice thick with sleep but willing himself to get up from the other side of the bed. “You can go back to bed if you want and just see the afternoon one.”

“No, I wanna,” you mumbled, stretching out and slumping back into bed. 

“Sure about that?” he asked, pulling off his shirt and walking to the bathroom. 

“I’m sure,” you said. You flashed open your eyes and quickly shut them before your eyes started wandering all over him. “Why are you so perfect?”

“I’m really not,” he said. “Something’s obviously not right.”

“Hm?” you asked, sitting up and opening your eyes.

“Forget it. I’ll shower quick then you can have it. Panel starts at 8,” he said.

“Jensen?” you asked. You watched him take a long sip from his coffee just before his and Jared’s panel was supposed to start.

“This one is only thirty minutes or so. Then we can grab breakfast,” he said, offering a smile.

“You just didn’t meet the right person,” you said, his smile falling away. “I don’t think you should feel bad about not having met that person yet.”

“I didn’t say any of that,” he said. 

“You didn’t need to,” you said.

“Hopefully I finally met her. Even if she thinks I’m old,” he said, Jared rolling his eyes behind him, mouthing ‘idiot’ at him. “What is Jared doing?” he asked, turning around in his seat to see Jared walking away.

“Oh, just being a good friend,” you said. “Come on, I want to see my first panel.”

“This one is smaller so it’s a good place to start I hope,” said Jensen, standing and holding out a hand for you. You followed until someone pointed out where you could go so you could sneak into the audience. You were surprised at how informal the whole process was, how a simple question led to a story and then another but somehow they always seemed to stay on track. You found yourself wanting more by the time it was over.

“You two are adorable,” you said to the guys when you saw them after they’d finished. “No wonder you play such good brothers.”

“We spend a lot of time together. As you can tell by how much Jared’s been hanging out on our second date,” said Jensen. Jared didn’t take offense and asked if you’d met any of the other people at the con yet. “We’ve been hanging out so not really.”

“Do it before we head home. Everyone’s interested in meeting your new girlfriend,” said Jared.

“I haven’t even asked that yet,” said Jensen, his face heating up the more Jared teased.

“Jared, can you give us a minute?” you asked. You waited for the two of you to be alone in the hall.

“Thanks,” he said. “I know this is probably overwhelming on it’s own and-”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” you asked, looking up at confused green eyes. “Yeah, I was talking to you.”

“This isn’t scary or weird to you?” he asked. 

“I like you. You like me. We’ll be going on more dates. I think we check off those criteria for boyfriend and girlfriend,” you said, reaching out and taking one of his large hands in yours.

“You’ve got a point,” he said. “I guess we’re together then.”

“I guess we are,” you said back.

“Can I go show you off to my friends now?” he asked with a smile.

“I’d love to.”

“This weekend was a lot of fun,” you said, yawning as you opened your door to your apartment that night. Jensen nodded and yawned in turn. 

“I’m really glad you came,” he said. “Maybe you can come to another one if you want.”

“Uh, duh. Those panels were awesome. I’ve definitely got some catching up to do,” you said, tossing your bag down and walking over to your phone on the wall showing a message.

“You are so going to be a Dean girl,” said Jensen, watching you tilt your head curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you said. “It’s just I haven’t given out this number in ages. The only people who have it is my modeling agency and even then they always call my cell or email, never this one.”

“Well now I’m intrigued. Let’s take a listen,” he said, walking inside and taking a seat on your kitchen counter.

“Let’s hope it’s fast. Walking Dead comes on in like ten minutes,” you said.

“Do you mind if I hang out and watch with you?” he asked, kicking his feet softly.

“No ya little cutie,” you said with a giggle. “Does someone like that show or something?”

“Yeah. Papa Winchester is on it now so of course I gotta watch,” he said.

“Now that’d be a hell of a crossover,” you said, remembering how to listen to your voicemail. It took a few tries before the message came through.

Hi Y/N. I don’t know if you remember me from Friday. I was the director in that orange baseball hat. I just wanted to say thanks for stepping in and helping us out at the last minute.

“That’s nice of him,” you said, turning to Jensen who looked skeptical.

We saw your resume from your agency and the producing team was wondering if you could stop down Monday at 10. We’re obviously doing this by the seat of our pants but if you could come in and read a few lines just to try for us we’d be forever grateful. Your agency said you just finished a contract and this might be a great opportunity for us all if you’re interested. I understand if you don’t want to, this is pretty far out of your normal realm of work. Thanks again.

“Oh,” you said, turning to look at Jensen.

“It’s your decision, not mine,” said Jensen. “Have you ever acted before?”

“The last acting I did was Girl #4 in my fifth grade play,” you said.

“Do you want to try this?” he asked, offering a soft smile. You had enjoyed the three seconds of doing it before. That really was getting to pretend to be someone else, kind of like when you modeled. But it was different. There was a story to it and you were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to at least go and try in the morning. 

“Yeah, I do,” you said, nodding your head.

“We’ll watch zombies another night,” he said. “You’ve got other homework tonight,” he said, standing and moving over to your couch.

“What homework?” you asked, watching as he turned on your TV and quickly got into Netflix.

“Supernatural silly. If you’re going to read for Dean’s love interest, you should watch some more of the show,” he said, patting the spot next to him.

“Do you...want me to get this part?” you asked, walking over and joining him.

“I get to act that I’m falling for a girl while I’m actually falling for the girl that plays her? Why would I ever want that?” he teased.

“I guarantee I’m going to be awful at this tomorrow,” you said, feeling his arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into him.

“You won’t know if you don’t take a chance,” he said.

“When it comes to you and chances they’ve worked out so far. I guess we see what happens tomorrow,” you said. Jensen kissed the top of your head and your face began to hurt from the wide smile that had formed. At least until you started paying attention to the episode.

“Are those kids playing Bloody Mary? That scared the crap out of me as a kid,” you said, snuggling a little closer to Jensen.

“This one still creeps me out,” he said. “Obviously we should watch with the lights off.”

“If I get nightmares I blame you Ackles,” you said.

“If you get nightmares, just call me and I’ll pop down and sleep on your couch. Make sure nothing bad gets you,” he said, wrapping both arms around you and squeezing you gently.

“You can always just crash here just in case,” you said, letting him decide if he wanted to stay over.

“Good idea,” he said with a nod. “Now we should be quiet seeing as there’s a ridiculously good looking man on the screen,” he said.

“I’ll let Jared know you think so fondly of him,” you said.

“Shudyup and learn how cocky but good of a guy Dean Winchester can be.”

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

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[buckykingofmemes]

ice cream man answers

(you guys sent in so many asks im posting all my answers to the ones you asked at once, so i dont take up your whole dashboard.)

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy? not sure about brands, but i tried pop rocks and they changed everything i knew about reality and what food is

peach: how do you relax? sometimes i fight nazis. thats a nice way to vent steam. petting dogs or cats or birds or literally any other animal is a winner every time. making food is a good because its constructive and at the end i get food. sometimes steve and i go running. but not early in the morning because mornings are terrible.

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands? i dont wear much makeup but pepper breaks out some sephora stuff when we have to go on tv? i like OPI nail polish.

birthday cake: favorite books? i recently read and loved the harry potter books. im a hufflepuff, just so you know.  (Mod Hell loves the Dresden Files, pretty much everything by David Webber or Robin McKinley or Tamora Pierce)

french vanilla: how old are you? buddy, i dont fuckin know anymore. a little under 100, by the books, but how the heck am i supposed to count the cryofreze?

(Mod Hell: I regularly forget my own age, but I’m pretty sure I’m 24)

fudge: turn offs? nazis. really not into nazis. 

chocolate: when was your first kiss? i was…7, probably. grade school sometime. me and stevie saved this girl mary from a real jerk of a bully and she kissed both of us, one right after the other. sent stevie straight into an asthma attack, poor kid. but she was both of our first kisses.

neapolitan: things that stress you out? public speaking. steve inside any aircraft. trains. not having any weaponry. bad hair days.

bubblegum: books or movies? totally depends om my mood. movies, maybe, because they can be more of a group activity, but dont require a ton of social interaction.and the novelty of being able to watch films in your own home hasnt quite worn off.  but i do like to read a lot.

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool? my beach experiences involve either a lot of 1. storming +fighting nazis or 2. sand in my cool robot arm,  which is not fun. so pools. even though im not buoyant enough to float anymore so i wear swim fins on my left arm.

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors? outdoors, when the weather is right.

moose tracks: favorites for manga? orange sherbet: favorites for anime? i read fullmetal alchemist.and then watched the anime. all of it. it was really good, although i feel like clint only showed it to me because of the robot arm thing. its the only manga or anime ive experienced so far, but i really liked it!

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs? i love @iguanamouth‘s crazy animals, and i follow a couple knitting blogs, as well as @dailybadjokes, just so i have some really terrible puns to use when nat breaks out her dad jokes.

superman: do you like sweaters? do i like sweaters. friend, i live in sweaters. i haveta knit em special though so they dont have a left sleeve because otherwise the plates in my arm catch on the knit.

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yes. the first time steve tried out the vibranium shield he missed the rebound and hit himself in the head with the flat side. he flew a good six feet through the air, knocked himself clean out. it was beautiful. i was crying. howard fell over, he was laughing so hard.

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee? yes. it is how i am alive. 

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music? i have a hard time with this one because im still learning so much about modern music. me and thor like listening to heavy metal, and i like tonys classic rock n’ roll, but im also really fond of the music of the 30s and 40s, the stuff i grew up with. 

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet? i havent gotten to game of thrones yet. people keep telling me such and such a character is gonna die, but im not sure how they can have that many dead characters and still have enough people for a book.

(Mod Hell has not, and never will, read Fifty Shades of Grey)

toffee: a card game that you’re good at? so far, all of them. but rummy is my game, friends. i will kick anyones ass at rummy.

(Mod Hell has an inexplicable affinity for Up the River/Down the River. And Irish Poker, if you wanna count that as a card game)

mango: when and why did you start your blog? my therapist recommended i write about things that were happening in my life, and mentioned that blogging was a good way to do so. i dont think this was quite what she had in mind, but here we all are, so... anyways, this blog was started on october 10th, 2016.

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment? can i count the entire discography of pink floyd? tony recently introduced me to them and they’re pretty great.

(Mod Hell has been enjoying Down Like Silver’s Wolves, because my taste in music is very very morbid)

butter pecan: favorite songs for life? this is a hard one. lately i have been enjoying fleurie’s ‘soldier’ because im a cliche sonovabitch 

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

dog. do dogs talk? not sure but if they do i want in.

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now? uhh... silver on the left, none on the right? except for my right pinkie, which is black because thor accidentally set his hammer down on my fingertip. so theres a blood blister there. gross. but they were red last week. me an nat had a nail night. 

(Mod Hell is rocking a matte black and gold french manicure. I’m getting good at those!)

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?one time me an the howlies were having a night on the town and i drunkenly forgot steve was huge and i tried to pick him up (i mean literally lift him. i wasnt hitting on steve) because i thought he was still tiny.  i failed. steve did not budge at all.  and in the process of trying to regain my balance i overcompensated and fell into the thames. which wouldnt have been so bad if all the howlies and the girls we were with hadnt been right there laughing at me. its probably not the most embarrassing thing ive ever done but its the first that comes to mind.

 (Mod Hell accidentally flashed a lifeguard once, so quickly I was never sure if he actually saw or not. Still super embarrassing.)

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream? yes. all of them. now, please.

(Mod Hell:  chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?  If you’re counting this blog, the “new years resolution: 1080p” post got picked up by a couple bigger blogs and is the frontrunner at 21,000+ notes. Original posts at hellenhighwater usually fade out at like 20 notes. So there’s a bit of a gap there.

Mod Hell: black raspberry: do you have any pets? Oh man yeah. I have two cats, Nimitz and Yamamoto. Nim is small and black and puffy and made primarily of homicidal urges. She is the Terror of the Underbrush; the Reaper and Eater of Souls. Yamamoto is 23 pounds of superbly useless cat. Her favorite activity is slowly petting the stair banister post with her paw. I also have a mated pair of domestic Violet Ringneck doves named Vexation and Vendetta who live in my bedroom, though I’ll be building them an outdoor coop to vacation to in the summer. Vex and Ven are the most wonderful idiots. They live life like it’s a spanish soap opera. Everything is very dramatic and seductive and not in a language I understand.)