#yeah the picture is blurry its a part of the aesthetic

[egoistars]

PROJECT PARTER HCS (he wants you so bad) haikyuu

ft: aran, kita, atsumu, osamu, suna

ATSUMU:

HES TRYING!!! but is it successful? (no)

literally cannot shut up the entire time you two meet up but it's ok because he's funny

"hey you wanna see pictures of my teammates" "yeah sure" he pulls out a blurry .5 of suna's nostrils

offers you protein bars and osamus leftovers as snacks

compliments you on literally everything

you wrote two words? he starts cheering and clapping his hands like you're shakespeare presenting a new play

loves pretending to be your strict teacher whenever commenting on your work

makes up for his lack of preparation by making you laugh and flustered

"i think you can add a little more to this part" "you look so sexy calling me dumb"

if you two meet up at a cafe he ALWAYS!!! pays for you

started off as a mistake because he asked you for your order in front of the barista

but he thought for a moment and decided you're worth an extra $5 out of his wallet

always loses his pencils but has dozens of erasers?????

SWEARS by wooden pencils. he sees a mechanical pencil and jumps 5 feet into the air and starts screaming

last few days of the project he looks constipated every time you two are together

"do you need a diaper" "I WANT YOU"

you accept his confession because you unfortunately like him back and because you want a good grade

also because you don't want him pooping his pants

ARAN:

the sweetest!!

always asks how you're doing before pulling out his notes

digital note taker 100%

loves loves loves writing with erasable pen and only uses pencils for exams

is a "let's work on everything together" kinds guy

he says it's to make sure there aren't any disagreements in content and aesthetic (he just wants to talk to you)

if you guys aren't at your house, always offers to walk you back!!!

great academically but if you're making a poster or slideshow do NOT let him decorate it... pls watch out

"does this look good!" "i'm gonna hold your hand when i tell you this..." "omg you want to hold my hand 😍"

starts giggling to himself in his head whenever you guys accidentally touch

you catch him staring at you one day and you don't know what to say so you just stare back

he thinks its so romantic

you're just confused but go along with it

after presentations you think you guys are gonna go back to being friendly classmates but he finds you after class and asks you out :)

KITA:

ACADEMIC WEAPON TEACHERS FAV EVERYONE LOVES HIM

"do you want to read my notes?" he pulls out 5 notebooks with everything color coordinated, sticky tabs, perfect handwriting, and factually correct

he can sit and work for 5 hours straight and still somehow have perfect posture

first time you asked him for help on something you were about to piss yourself because you thought he would call you stupid and send you to hell

he gave you a small smile and started walking you through it with an unmatched level of patience

that was the moment you folded and had to physically restrain yourself from grabbing his cheeks and kissing his face

always offers you tea when you come over and brings out a small tray of snacks

"are you comfortable? do you need any help?"

is suuuuper meticulous but kind with his 739273 different corrections

he swears by the sandwich method of compliment-critique-compliment

"your analysis is amazing in this section but i think you can expand a little bit after because..."

you're the one who confessed first because you thought you would explode from cuteness aggression if you didn't

and also because you thought even if he did reject you, he'd do it in the most painless way

was super happy and bursted into a bright red face but shy smile!!

still told you to go back to the assignment though...

SUNA:

menace i hate him (no i don't)

literally doesn't understand anything that's going on and probably doesn't process what you're saying at first

realizes you're serious about this assignment and forces himself to lock in

asks a BUNCH of questions and jots them down on a google doc

loves to make random conversation when you two are working

actually insane gossiper

nosiest birch you know

allergic to minding his own business that mf has shit on everyone

are you slightly scared of what he has on you? yes. do you still want to hear everything he knows? yes

"i'm taking this info from page 175 of the textbook" "got it, but did you hear that kato is trying to get with his exs best friend??"

leaves notes on your project that are both unserious and encouraging

"omg u are literally einstein"

folds origami when bored

will give you paper cranes, frogs, foxes, and cats whenever you see each other

you discovered that there's small doodles in the posts it's he uses to make them

one day there's your name and his surrounded by hearts like the corny mf he is

confronted him and it and he was just like "oh you found that? well, do you want to go out with me?"

he was NOT SLICK with the way he skipped home and whistled to himself that day after you said yes

OSAMU:

HES TRYING HIS BEST!!! (pt. 2)

can only meet up after school because of volleyball so he offers to cook for you before starting to work

takes notes in class but doesn't understand half the stuff he jots down

writes actual bullshit but half a page in decides to abandon his pride and ask you for help

leans in a little too close whenever listening to what you're saying

tries to make sure your knees are touching and that it's all an accident when your fingers brush (he prepared each scenario in his head before sleeping the night before)

down bad LOSER

spends his time doing his portion of the project while sneaking glances at you

doesn't know how to decorate presentations for the life of him so he is on doodle duty

gives surprisingly good suggestions and takes your corrections to heart

one of the best project partners because of how willing he is to learn and contribute!!! (also because he wants to impress you)

talks shit about his brother to you

atsumu has walked in while osamu was telling you an embarrassing story

they start fighting

osamu gets super embarrassed when you laugh at him

then gets overly confident when you tell him you were rooting for him

will not stop dumb smiling whenever he sees you after that

asks you out after the project is turned in with his hands in his pockets with how they're shaking so much

[orionc0re]

some things i made recently:

number one -------------—

i don't have a before photo of this skirt (because i get too immersed in the making process that i just forget to take progress photos most if not all of the time)

buuut it was a pencil skirt before (very unflattering on me), and what i did was:

- cut skirt in half

- cut a bunch of triangles out of the bottom half of the skirt (the half that didn't have the waistband (important)

- cut slits in the top half of the skirt equal to the amount of triangles (that part was eyeballed lol im not even gonna pretend i measured anything)

- attach one edge of the triangles to one side of the slit (very shit diagram below)

- repeat that step until all triangles are attached and the skirt should start to flare out (yes this is to mimic a circle skirt

- then attach lace trim (i don't remember where i got mine, pretty sure it's just craft store stuff, nothing special)

honestly this process is pretty easy if you know how to cut triangles and operate a sewing machine

QUILTING CLIPS ARE A LIFE SAVER FOR THIS OMG GET YOURSELF SOME QUILTING CLIPS

number two --------------—

this one i actually had a few pictures for:

this is a thrifted ragged priest sweater, obviously i rarely dress in brighter colours so i had an idea to replace the patches of fabric with scraps i had to fit more with my aesthetic

okay maybe i didn't have as many photos as i thought-

and in hindsight this idea just gave me more fabric scraps that i don't have anything to do with

anyways what i did was:

- cut out a panel that wasn't black from the sweater

- pick out some scraps from my fabric bin

- cut scrap according to shape of the original patch

- sew back onto the skeleton of what the sweater once was

- repeat until the sweater is done

like that

a couple more detail photos (i had to zoom in as my ceiling light doesn't look great, so it'll be a bit blurry)

number three ---------------—

i nearly forgot i even made this, but i did! i made this for a festival i was going to

and yeah i didnt get any progress photos as i was in the timest of crunches (yay procrastination)

yes this was also made of two thrifted items of clothing!!

1 was this faux leather tunic t shirt dress thing (i got it with the intention of using it as spare fabric bc the price was cheaper than just getting it by the meter), i cut about 2/3 of it for this skirt, admittedly it was more than i would've liked to use

2 was this pair of faux leather shorts which i wanted to use for the waistband and to make the fake d-ring garter belt thingys layered over the skirt itself

i did just use the process i used for number one so go and read the process for that

and then i just punched a few holes in the outer layer for the chain detail (its my favourite part of this skirt), and added studs!

--------------------—

i am pretty sure these three were all done within the last month of november, i do take very long hiatuses between projects bc my creative energy works in bursts unfortunately

future projects ----------------—

i have one distinct idea in mind:

i have this very tattered "fabric" i got from the halloween section, and i think im gonna make a top with an open back, fitted look, and flared sleeves (if i have the materials for it)

---------------------------—

i am very inconsistent on both what i am creating and when i will be creating them so as much as deadlines are very helpful i wish i had the drive to just make

it's one am i am sleep

ori

12/12/2022

[mahi-does-some-art]

Yeah those definitely look ai generated, there's some spots around the stairs that are weirdly blurry/fuzzy/pixelated

Yeah they've gotten a bit better at things like reflections and stuff but it'll always be AI generated and will look as such. I really wish these people would drop the AI scene and dive into making art with their own hands so they can know how cool real art is and experience the satisfaction of creating something.

I think it would do a lot of them good and the ideas they're trying to put into these generators are genuinely good and interesting; I believe that a lot of these people would be great artist/architects and interior/exterior designers! They're just not tapping into it and trying to get code to do it for them and it is a real shame in my eyes.

Anyways, I'm going to use this as an excuse to talk about what living aesthetics I think the Servamp character's would like the most! Since that Anon's post got me thinking. (And lately I've been extremely interested in architecture and the like myself, even done a couple arts trying to incorporate it more)

For now I'll just be talking about Lily; while the generated pictures fit his character design to the point, I do not think that's what Lily would like himself. Lily is far more a fan of what the Alicein's have going on.

Which is to say: Rococo!

Of course, as an artist, I like taking some liberties and amplifying what canon has given us so humor me. The Alicein are very Rococo in style and since we now have a starting glimpse into Lily's backstory, I think it's well safe to say that the origin of the Alicein bloodline is very French which is where the style of Rococo was born from the hands of craftsmen and designers.

The entire concept is very Lily-suited in my eyes with its lighter colors and creams with gold-- a pinnacle of wealth, art and design that looks straight out of a fairytale. Lily is likely a french man who was able to see the whole movement's rise and fall.

Rococo is very detailed with its signature designs being based off seashells and the popular acanthus leaf.

Which is this guy right here! Familiar, right? It's been very popular in many designs through history from what I know, including in Rome.

But yes, Lily's aesthetic is far more this than whatever the AI stuff was trying to do. Here are more examples;

Again, very detailed, very art heavy and intricate. I myself am a huuuuge fan of this movement. This is what I see in regards to Snow Lily and it's hard to think of much else for him. Consequentially, this is part of what I think when I see Misono too!

Sorry I nosedived off your ask Anon, thank you for sending me something!

[museeofmoon]

𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒚, 13𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒆𝒃• last week was nothing but me chilling with mum by going to shopping, crying over ray optics, talking a new-old friend again trying to catch up w so much good music that my friends recommend and falling in love with this coat I bought

🎧: 𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒊𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆_𝒆𝒏𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒏

[thefanficmonster]

Stranger In The Crowd

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently ended the process of moving, Y/N is rightfully very tired but also very excited for the new chapter of her life. Funnily enough, this new chapter includes a newly formed long distance friendship/crush with a very special person from San Diego.

Requested by @boiled-onionrings Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long for it to be posted but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

I let out a heavy sigh, relieved to finally be at home after such a long day of standing around in the Georgia heat with only a thin layer of fabric to protect my eyes and head from the scorching sun. Yeah, anyone who says that tent did well at protecting everyone under it today is nothing but a liar. I was in a short, strapless white summer dress, the fabric of which barely had any weight and consistency to provide heat of its own yet I still damn near melted. Ok, I’ll admit, some of the roasting heat probably came from the energy and force I put into singing the songs of my band’s new album ‘Starting At The End’. 

The mini concert we held in this large open field was meant as an introduction to the city of Savannah where all the band members - myself included - are actually from but we all moved to the West Coast to pursue our music career. And now that we’ve grown, and the majority of us are married, one of us is a father now as well, we’ve decided to return to our hometown. The decision was so spontaneous and was executed so quickly due to no one objecting to it that it still hasn’t me that I’m no longer in LA. The heat isn’t helping my ‘processing’ process but I’ll get to it eventually. Do I miss LA though? Not sure I do - I think I more miss the people I was closer to while I was there.

Suddenly, as if perfectly timed, my phone dings, notifying me that I’ve received a message. I don’t have to look to know it’s from - there’s only one person I actively text and his name is....

C ~ Your virtual buddy Corpse here, making sure you didn’t die of a heatstroke today. If you did indeed survive, just reply to this message, if not....don’t do anything, I guess.

I can’t help but giggle at the sight of the message. I promised Corpse I’d text him after the concert to let him know I was ok, but the even dragged out for longer than anticipated so I’m guessing he got worried.

How cute.

Me ~ Alive and well, but I do feel like a popped tire of an overloaded truck. Hope that’s a visually appealing description

Corpse and I met on the charity livestream Jacksepticeye organized and invited our band to so we could play Among Us with some of the best gamers and streamers on the internet. It was a huge honor and a ton of fun, definitely an event I’d like to repeat in the near future because I had such a good time and I know all my bandmates did too. We all got acquainted and even became official friends with the gamers that were practically our hosts, Corpse becoming the closest friends I’d earn. That livestream happened months ago and we still text just as consistently.

C ~ Oh I know EXACTLY what you mean. Anyway, as to not exhaust you further to force you into typing, how about you send me pictures to sum up your thoughts and emotions and plans for the evening

This is OUR THING trademark, mine and Corpse’s and no one can take it away from us. It’s a significant element of our friendship that enables us both to understand one another when one of us feels the way I described in my message - a popped tire or a deflated balloon. I’m usually the exhausted one - blame the many shows we do and the many meet-and-greets we organize for our lovely fans. It’s the type of exhaustion none of the band members mind at all, but we definitely need some time to recover from it.

As I go to sit down on my couch, the flower crown I’ve been wearing slips off the top of my head, falling on the floor, creating a soft noise that attracts the attention of one of my many cats - Sasha. She’s the youngest and most curious kitty in the family, always protected by the other four - Luna, Cassie, Silver and Lynn. Those four are far lazier and a lot more disinterested in comparison to Sasha who immediately runs over to see what’s fallen.

I smile to myself, taking the flower crown and undoing it to lessen it by a few stems to make it smaller, all the while being watched by the curious Sasha whose interest is rewarded in the end when I put the now adorably tiny flower crown on her head.

While she still hasn’t shaken the thing off I manage to snap a pic which I send to Corpse who opens it mere seconds after it was delivered. 

C ~ Sasha’s pulling off your aesthetic better than you. Sorry, someone had to let you know

I burst out laughing for two reasons - 1.The message itself, damn it! It’s hilarious; 2. Corpse has learnt the name of each one of my cats and never mixes them up - not even Luna and Lynn who look almost identical. That amount of attention to detail is astonishing and very meaningful to me, it genuinely warms my heart and that may or may not be dramatic but it’s definitely not exaggerated.

Me ~ You think I haven’t caught on yet? 

C ~ Well, if it makes you feel any better you pull off my aesthetic better than I do

He’s referring to the e-girl look I did for one show the band had in downtown LA one night. I was drunk and looking forward to trying new things so I improvised the hell out of my outfit but I apparently looked presentable enough to leave a good impression on Corpse despite the pic I sent him being a bit blurry and being a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the very bar we were performing in. It goes without saying that the mirror was dirty too - had a bunch of writing on it which Corpse said only added to the aesthetic. Looking back on it now I kinda agree, and luckily so did the fans in the comments of that same photo when I posted it on Instagram.

Me ~ Means a lot actually. Nowhere near enough to aid the burn of having a cat pull off cottagecore better than I do, but still helps XD

As if sensing that we’re talking about her, Sasha hops on the couch, poking her head over my phone to look down at the screen.

Now this is gonna be golden.

I take a selfie with my phone in my lap, the camera capturing both me and Sasha at a rather unflattering angle which has me losing my mind laughing when I send the picture to Corpse who immediately sends back a string of cry-laughing emojis.

C ~ I can’t tell which one of you is cuter

Me ~ If that was a compliment, I gotta say I appreciate it greatly

C ~ Just telling the truth ;)

It’s times like these that the butterflies in my stomach remind me just why I’ve started catching feelings for this man despite all the distance between us and despite barely knowing him - he knows me more than I know him but I don’t mind it, oddly enough.

I’m fond of our connection and though I sometimes dream of something more, I’m also content with what we already have considering that ‘something more’ seems rather unattainable as of now.

My phone dings again, clearing the fog of thoughts and presenting me with a new message from Corpse.

C ~ Oh, by the way, look what I got....

That message is followed up by a picture of a ticket. A plane ticket to Georgia! 

While I’m still busy stomaching this and dealing with my quickly rising excitement, he sends another message.

C ~ I hope to catch a The Silver Rays concert while I’m there. Heard they had an adorable frontwoman ;)

My breath catches in my throat as a wide grin spreads across my face. The thought of having Corpse so close to me sends those aforementioned butterflies in my stomach into a raving mood and they practically explode my insides with excitement and joy like I’ve never felt it before. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that we’re about to go from having an entire country between us, to being just some ways away - him in the audience and me on stage without a single clue of who to look for. That’s part of the excitement though, I guess, part of the guessing game that’s gonna make our meeting all the more interesting.

He’ll be a stranger in the crowd and I’ll be a performer on a stage - seemingly two people who have no relation whatsoever. But damn does it go beyond that: No one has to know how hard I’m falling for that stranger in the crowd.

Me ~ I’ve heard so too, can’t confirm it though

If this is gonna be a guessing game, I’ll flip the tables a bit - I won’t take any guesses. I’ll let the answer come to me. I’ll give the first move over to the stranger in the crowd, let’s see what he does.

C ~ I’ll check and let you know, don’t worry

Not worried whatsoever, Corpsie. I’m not worried at all.

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[rein4r1]

Mr. Artiste

Wc: 2.7k

Warning/s: Mentions of possessive behavior

Pairing/s: [Titanic AU] Jean x F!Reader, Floch x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Synopsis: Meeting him was like breathing fresh air in her already suffocating life. (Titanic Au)

MINORS DNI

“What is it? A sapphire?”

“A diamond. A very rare diamond, called the Heart of Ymir.” She watches Jean as he examines the exorbitant jewel. “I want you to draw me like one of your Maria girls.” He continues to examine the diamond, clearly finding it’s luxury unbelievable. “Wearing this.” She stared at him and smiled, “wearing only this.”

He did this many times before, drawing different kinds of women not only in Maria but in Rose as well, the place of his hometown. As an artist, women’s bodies were one of the greatest subjects to draw, they were intricate to draw but not intricate to understand. This kind of artwork is often shunned upon by the simplecrowd who were too fickle to understand, viewing this kind of art as licentious. Jean begged to differ, whenever he draws women, their eyes bore into his soul, as if whispering to him a secret that they can only emanate through their nude form.

Jean waited patiently, sharpening his set of pencil with a knife. His sketchbook open, ready to feel each stroke of Jean’s gifted hands. Seeing her withdraw from her room, he can’t help but swallow a lump in his throat; completely enamored by his lover in front of him, he could only look away. Wearing only a nightrobe and The Heart of Ymir underneath, she teasingly spins the tie of her robe, only to worsen the forming bulge in his pants. No matter how alluring and charming the woman is, he knew that as an artist, he must keep everything completely professional.

“The last thing I need is another picture of me looking like an oriental doll. As a paying customer, I expect to get what I want.” Quickly tossing him a silver coin. Jean could only watch as she parted her nightrobe in a teasing manner, the article of clothing slowly drops from her body to the floor. ‘Ah shit’, he can’t help but feel the tightening of his already harden bulge. Poor Mr. Artist, trying so hard to ignore the aroused pain in between his pants.

“Sit down, uhh yeah there on the… yup.” He awkwardly point for on the chaise lounge. She happily obliges, eyes never leaving his brown orbs. “What now Mr. Kirstein?” He then proceeds to give instructions on where to place her hands. “Keep your eyes on me, and try to stay still.”

“I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste. Do you like what you see?” He could only chuckle, the deep tone of his voice resonating the quiet room. She watches as he starts drawing on his sketchpad, looking at his seriousness adoringly. She cannot deny the affection she holds for this man, to her, Jean became the fresh air in her already suffocating life.

She spent her entire life conforming to her mother’s standards, doing anything to please the woman. Becoming the perfect Marleyan lady, she grew up in her mother’s strict surveillance, from hiring the best of the bestgoverness in Liberio to sending her to the most exclusive boarding school in Marley. She grew up a life of servitude to her family’s glory, she felt no different from a luxurious porcelain doll; handled with care for her expensive value.

After the death of her father, they were left with nothing but numerous debts under a glorious name. Needless to say, all of the wealth her family has accumulated throughout generations are gone, they were just a penniless family with a noble name.

The widower then met a young wealthy man and heir to a mining company in Paradis, Floch Forster. Since he had the money to salvage whatever dignity they have left, she immediately forcibly subjected her daughter to an arranged marriage with the young heir.

You see, Floch and her mother weren’t any different, treating her like some beautiful garment to parade in gatherings and parties, she secretly came to loath whatever her life became. And in order to please her mother and save her family’s face, she begrudgingly accepted the proposal. They were set to marry in winter, after their arrival to Paradis.

“So, this is the ship they say is unsinkable” Her mother noted as her eyes glanced at the large ship, taking its aesthetic and magnificence. “It is unsinkable. God himself couldn’t sink this ship.” Floch said condescendingly and bumptious. In front of them is the largest ship known to man, the Colossus. The servants proceeded to handle their possessions as Y/N could only marvel at its glory.

She couldn’t accept her mother’s selfishness and her fiancé’s possessive behavior any longer, leading her to the edge of the ship’s deck in a break down. She reluctantly looks at the ocean below with tears cascading her skin, she could only hope for a life where she isn’t treated less than a luxurious property.

“Don’t do it” She whips her head to see a young brunette man in white shirt and brown slacks. Glaring at the young man, she turns her head away, her sight getting blurry of the tears.

“Stay back! Don’t come any closer!”

“Take my hand I’ll pull you in.”

“No! Stay Where you are. I mean it. I’ll let go!”

“No, you won’t.” She whips her head back to the man, looking at him with an unbelievable expression. “What do you mean I won’t?” She noticed how calm this man was, but unbeknownst to her, the man internally panics and fears for the girl’s life. He could only retort her that if she really meant what she said, she would’ve jumped without having second thoughts.

She noticed him taking his boots off one by one. Carefully threading near her as to not scare the girl. “I’m a good swimmer” he said, “but I’m more worried about the water being cold. You see I grew up in Trost somewhere in Rose, and God the winter there is cold. I went ice-fishing with my father, well… Ice-fishing is where you-“

“For God’s sake, I know what an ice-fishing is!”

“I apologize, you don’t come off as an outdoor kind of girl. Well, you see, water that cold,” he points to the dark ocean below, “It hits you like a thousand knives all over your body. You can't breathe, you can't think... at least not the freezing pain that welcomes you.” He proceeds to offer his outstretched hand on which she could only look with a bemused expression.

“I know I look crazy, but I don’t really look forward to jumping with you… That’s why can you take my hand?” She reluctantly reaches for his hand, “My name’s Jean Kirstein, and I promise I won’t let go.” He pulls her away from the railings, resulting in falling together onto the deck with Jean below her. She could only wrap her arms tightly as she whimpers on his neck, he then brought his hand to pat her head, hoping it would stop the tears that continuously descend from her eyes.

Jean knows of the girl, well not her name, but how could he forget such an ethereal lady that managed to entrance his artistic eyes, ‘the lady from the upper deck’ as he dubbed her. Just a few moments ago, he was just lounging around some bench, smoking as he thought of the winsome girl from the upper deck, clearly a place that penniless folks like him could only dream of.

After a couple of minutes of sniffling on his shirt, she looked up to Jean. And in an instant, she quickly stood up, failingly brushing off the creases that already formed on her dress. They quietly studied each other’s appearance, feeling as if there’s something there. Their moment only lasted a short while when Floch came in running towards her, dragging her away from Jean.

“Who are you? And what did you do to her?!”

“Floch stop! He saved me! It was silly actually; Mr. Kirstein was there when I almost slip from the deck.” She had her arm around Floch, tugging him to appease his anger. He eyed at him suspiciously, as he took her hand to drag her off the deck, she could only look at his retreating figure, hoping that he could see the man in the morning to thank him properly.

She saw him again, at the interior part of the third-class general room, talking to some fellows she assumed he’s acquainted with. “Hello there Jean” she glanced at the two men beside him, they quickly stood up to leave the both of them to converse alone, clearly not wanting to intrude. They quietly walked along the deck, her eyes wondering at the laughing faces of the children who passes them.

“Uhh, so you got a name by the way?”

“Y/n, Y/n L/n” She paused for a bit, as she completely turned to Jean to look at him. “Jean... I feel like such an idiot. It took me all morning to get up the nerve to face you.”

“Well, here you are.”

“Look, I know what you must be thinking! Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery?”

“That's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was... what could have happened to hurt this girl so much she thought she had no way out.” She could only smile at his statement. Truthfully, she ranted to him how tiring it is to stand still like some wired doll, how disrespected she felt when they used her. She truly felt used, but this man didn’t invalidate her feelings, rather, he listened to her attentively. This was the first time she was able to talk to someone like this, it felt refreshing. Conversing with Jean brought comfort she didn’t knew existed.

“That turnip yesterday, is he with them?”

“Turnip? Oh, Floch! Ugh he is them.” She displayed her engagement ring, symbolizing the beautiful prison chain on her finger. “God he’s much worse than being just them.”

“So, you felt trapped in a loop ‘cause you’re marrying turnip?”

“Yes! Exacty!”

They continued to converse, more about how she should just run away and not marry the turnip looking man. If only it was easy, then she would’ve been away from those snobbish people, away from the circumstances that led her to this. The feeling she felt with Jean was… different, she spent her whole life being dismissed by the people around her. Having someone to listen to you in a genuine manner was stimulating.

“What’s that on your hand?” Glancing at the brown envelope on Jean’s hand.

“It’s nothing…”

“No let me see.” She then snatched the envelope away, revealing a sketchbook with sublime artwork. With her already existing fascination in art, she can’t help but feel astonished.

“These are really beautiful Jean…” she continues to flip the pages of the sketchbook, “you have a gift.” As she flipped to the next page, she saw drawings of women, wearing nothing but themselves.

“Amazing… are these drawn in, you know, real life?”

“Yup, that’s what’s great in Maria girls, willing to take their clothes off.” She then noticed a reoccurring subject in his artwork.

“This woman, you used her as your muse several times.”

“Well, she really did have beautiful hands.”

“If I may presume, you must’ve had a love affair with her.” She looks at him playfully at his rather defensive demeanor.

“No! I swear, just with her hands.” He laughs. Jean feels the erratic beating of his heart as he gets lost at the depths of her eyes. He felt it, this woman, no matter how imprisoned she felt, is a someone strong who can handle even the harshest of waves and the most blinding light from sun. He could only stare at her elegance, feeling the heat rising up to his cheeks, Jean felt different from this young lady, like he knows her all along. He wanted to take her away, no he didn’t want to save her, because he knew that the only one who can save her is herself. But he wants her to depend on him, become her solace and provide her the serenity she deserves.

They spent their days together in the Colossus; learning about each other and teaching each other knew things. They could not deny the growing feelings that’s starting to form, she knew it was wrong to fall in love with him, considering her engagement to Floch. But she doesn’t love Floch, how could she grow to love such a chauvinistic man. Floch viewed her as a possession, but Jean viewed her as a person. It wasn’t long when they acknowledged their feelings for each other, sharing a kiss on the bow of the ship, the setting sun becoming a witness to the couple’s profound love.

“It’s finished” He gestured her to see the finished artwork. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder as she studies the intricacies and pencil work on the drawing. They turned to look at each other with loving eyes as they shared a slow but sensual kiss. They pulled away from the kiss as Jean’s hand found place on her face, rubbing his thumb on her cheek affectionately, as their foreheads press together.

In fear of Floch and his lackey learning Jean’s presence in their cabin, they quickly ran away to God knows where. They arrive at the ship’s luggage room as they saw a car parked at the middle. Jean pulled her hand towards it as he sat on the driver’s seat, and she sat the passenger’s seat just at the back of Jean.

“Where to Ma’am?” He playfully asks as his hands are placed on the wheel, pretending to drive her to places. She wrapped her hand around him, as she whispers to his ear, “to the stars.”

She pulls him inside, sitting on the backseat of the car, they stared at each other with a loving but lustful gaze. With a growing desire to embrace each other, Jean felt her hands travel to his already bulged member, rubbing it slowly as if to tease him.

“Fuck Y/n don’t tease me.” He proceeds to kiss her full of thirst, like a starved man, starved of her. She sat on top of his lap, she knew she needed him now, she guided his hands to her breasts as she slowly grinded on his clothed dick. “Want you know, please Jean, I want you to make love to me.” He instantly discarded their clothes as he left wet kisses on her neck, treading his hands slowly on her back to her already wet core as he rubbed small circles on her hardened nub, she could only burry her face on his neck, face contorting in pleasure as she continues to grind on his hardened cock.

“Feels so good, your cock feels so good” Grinding to their high, Jean shoots his cum towards his stomach. He lifted her up to position his member on top of her core.

“Are you sure you want this? With me?”

“Yes, fuck, Jean hurry!” He then proceeds to enter her throbbing core, feeling her walls tighten around him. Placing his hands on her waist, he slowly began to buckle his hips. “Fuck Y/n you’re so tight, so fucking tight around my- ugh” he holds her hips only to slam it back down on his cock, eliciting a moan from her pretty mouth. He started to quicken his pace, her hands around his shoulders as she they traveled towards his chest. His thrust hitting that one spot that made her drown more in pleasure.

“Baby you feel so good around my cock, fuck.” He felt her tighten around him, signaling the coming of her second high.

“Jean ‘m coming! I’m coming!”

“Cum baby, don’t hold back,” As his thrusts getting faster and deeper, she felt the height of her sex and she came around him. He continued to thrust into her as he chased his own high and he shot his load of cum inside her. Jean then slowly removed his member, as he places her once again in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her figure while he kisses her temple, embracing her like it’s his last day on earth.

Not knowing that their first night together will also be their last.

An: I had to rewatch some of the clips from the Titanic aaohaoigha anyway I'm still trying to learn how to write smut sooo

[paradife-loft]

Close reading all the Jin Guangyao scenes: episode 24

Episode 10 | Episode 11 | Episode 22 | Episode 23

The title of this is a lie, actually, since the first half? two thirds? of this is going to be finishing up with episode 23, but ah well.

So, I left off with the previous episode right after the deeply unfortunate clusterfuck of a conversation between Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangshan, followed by “sometimes war crimes can double as grooming your extremely emotionally vulnerable son, and that’s terrible”. Which means now, it’s time for…

Swearing an (extremely ill-advised) oath of holy fratrimony!

This is a bit of speculation, since we see almost no detail on what went into the decision to become sworn brothers, but my read is that it at least partially reflects a political motive – tying prominent members of three clans together, rebuilding the rather demolished state of firm alliances and power left in the wake of a major war – while also reflecting a personal desire I think on Lan Xichen’s part to repair the rift between his two good friends, and offer them each a promise that they won’t be left isolated in the middle of larger forces trying to break them down.

The political aspect becomes a bit more apparent when considering the wording of the oath itself, actually: “We are liable to the immortal sects. We are to bring peace and stability to the commoners… If there is a change of heart, one will be faced with a thousand accusing fingers, and the wrath of Heaven and men!” – While this reflects a shared set of values, certainly, it also strikes me as relevant that these three, two of them current sect leaders, are swearing essentially not to become like the Wen clan that they’ve just deposed: they’ll be accountable to others, they’ll work for the benefit of those living under their authority, rather than capriciously throwing their weight around for personal gain.

Oh, and also - I’ve mentioned before, the dramatic irony here in how the consequences they invoke for failing to uphold the principles of their sworn brotherhood are in fact exactly what happens to Jin Guangyao in the end – given what’s to come, the oath he’s swearing ends up being more like a curse. Don’t swear oaths, kids, it never works out well. Of course, at the time, I don’t think he has any intention at all of betraying those principles – the “bring peace and stability to the commoners” part is certainly something he makes an effort to follow up on, once he has the power to do so! Still, for something that starts out with an explicit declaration to not be the sort of evil that Nie Mingjue so straightforwardly abhors, it’s… a very sad outcome.

Moving forward, we have… the most awkward set of greetings in the entire world, I swear. Mingjue shows up to the post-victory banquet and gets offered the world’s most politically-fraught location on the seating chart; Lan Xichen then reminds Jin Guangyao in front of the assembled members of three(!) separate sects to call him da-ge instead of Chifeng-zun. Jin Guangyao redoes his greeting/offer with the most intense deer-in-headlights look (pictured above), pretty clearly aware that Mingjue is not about to be happy with him. (This little exchange, including the encouraging nod also from LXC to NMJ, is further evidence beyond simply their general personalities I think, that Xichen was the driving force behind the brotherhood oath, especially in a personal sense.) But also, it serves as another piece of foreshadowing future events: knowing Mingjue is unlikely to be happy with the offer of Wen Ruohan’s old throne, Jin Guangshan hands the actual task of offering it off to Jin Guangyao. Here at least, Mingjue doesn’t get distracted from who’s really behind the offer, and addresses Jin Guangshan in vehemently refusing the seat; but it nonetheless continues establishing the pattern where JGS uses Jin Guangyao to be the primary face of his own less-than-savory political maneuvering.

(Which in general, makes me think it’s kind of interesting that he does have Jin Guangyao there greeting guests with him in the first place, and not Jin Zixuan? It’s a bit difficult for me to read what the status of co-greeter is supposed to be – second-in-command, or glorified servant? I think there may be a little bit of both, if JGY is there on one hand because he was the one setting the banquet up, but on the other hand also, because JGS wants to parade him around as his very own hero of the Sunshot Campaign, as Sect Leader Yao is so kind to remind us.

And then there’s... the one-on-one chat with Wei Wuxian.

First off, I’d like to link people to this post by @hunxi-guilai​, which honestly just goes over… a lot of what I probably would have liked to say about the implied meanings in this conversation. Essentially: Wei Wuxian is interested in what’s going on with this other Sunshot hero who also seems to be not carrying any sword (in a scene where we even see Jiang Yanli carrying hers!), and who had previously used a somewhat unorthodox weapon for his Wen Ruohan stabbing. Jin Guangyao though, is… not really interested in drawing attention to either of those facts (and I’m sure not in a way that would see him in solidarity with WWX), considering “unorthodox and outside the standard set of accepted behaviours in cultivator society” is the opposite of what he’s trying to look like right now.

Relevant to this, honestly, is the question of “what the fuck exactly even is a soft sword,” which CQL does approximately nothing to explain on the face of it, and only very implicitly does so if you’re obsessive like me and try to take blurry screenshots to compare the sword we see stabbing WRH with the sword that Jin Guangyao uses when fighting WWX’s paperman in episode 41.

Which do appear to be the same sword, inability to get a good clear look at it in either context notwithstanding. Oh, and JGY seems to have either repainted or swapped out the hilt, at some point in the intervening years – perhaps to better match the Jin clan’s aesthetic of white & gold sword decoration that we see on Jin Zixuan’s Suihua?

Anyway, for context on the “what’s a soft sword” issue, I am going to quote a relevant portion from the (EXR translation of the) MDZS novel, even though in general I’m trying to keep the canon cross-pollination in these meta to a minimum.

Back then, when Jin GuangYao worked undercover at Wen RuoHan’s side, he had often hidden the sword at his waist, wreathed the sword around his arm to use during critical moments. Although the blade of Hensheng seemed to be soft to the extremity, attacking with lingering motions, it was in reality both sharp and haunting. Once the blade had wrapped around the opposition, Jin GuangYao would apply it with a bizarre spiritual power, and one would quickly be severed into pieces by the sword, despite its tender appearance. Quite a few famous swords had been battered into piles of scrap iron just like this. At the moment, the blade of the sword attacked as though it was a serpent with silver scales, biting at the paperman without any hesitation.

So yeah – it’s an uncommon weapon, a sword with a blade that can bend and thus works very well for things like being sneaky and unassuming, and not fighting “fairly” in a way the vast majority of other cultivators would have any experience countering.

And... oh my god. Now we’re finally onto episode 24 properly.

The first input we get from Jin Guangyao this episode is this charming smirk as Wei Wuxian walks up into the center of the hall to interrupt JGS’s unpleasant “hey let’s renew this betrothal~” play. Personal amusement about a rather dramatic individual showing up to do something undoubtedly also dramatic? Entertainment about how a person not known for his skill at subtle political maneuvering is probably about to come in and make a mess that the Jin clan will be able to spin to their own advantage? Ehhh, why not both?

Though of course, the Jiang clan members function very well as a unit here once Wei Wuxian comes in to shake things up, and it’s not nearly the uncomplicated win for the Jin clan that he was probably expecting. Meanwhile, once that’s over, he takes the next opportunity to introduce his father’s next order of business, the invitation to the Phoenix Mountain hunt - and in fact, he does so with an absolutely seamless transition from Jiang Yanli’s rejection of the proposed marriage plan renewal:

“Everyone. For the previous Clan Leader Jiang to have such a daughter is already a great comfort to his soul. And not just Jiang Clan, but after the mess with the Wen Clan, every clan has experienced losses. This is a crucial time for us to rebuild and we critically are in need of manpower. For the past days, Father has spent a lot of time pondering over this matter. Luckily, he’s found a countermeasure. I dare to represent my father in inviting everyone back to Jinlintai during the fall. Jin clan will be putting all efforts towards reorganizing the round-up and hunting event at Hundred Phoenixes Mountain.”

It’s easy to overlook, I think, but the amount of rhetorical skill to put that together on the fly? It’s really not for nothing that Meng Yao was first introduced as being impressively sharp and well-spoken. He’s taking what starts as a loss of face for the Jin clan, redirecting it to focus on the virtue of Jiang Yanli, and then tying that in to the losses and worries that every sect now has in the wake of the war ending. And having reminded them of their own interests and present worries here, he steps in to offer a solution that slots the Jin clan in back at the top, looking extremely good, due to the wealth and comparative manpower advantage they have over everyone else after entering the war relatively late.

(Also, to clarify since it’s only ever implied rather than stated outright in the show, via the dialogue here and then another piece during the hunt itself – the Hundred Phoenix Mountain hunt, from what I can tell, is a regular event held for the purpose of showing off each clan’s skills so that they can attract new prospective disciples, hence why it’s a solution to the sects’ manpower being depleted by the war. Additionally, given the use in particular of reorganizing the event, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that ordinarily, this event would be one put on by the Chief Cultivator. So with the Wen sect demolished, there was nobody readily available to step up and take over handling this event until now. Jin Guangshan may be fooling none of the viewers about his intentions in adopting a seat right next to Wen Ruohan’s old chair, but he’s certainly making good use of a-Yao’s rhetorical talent to get yet another instance of stepping into the role vacated by the Wen sect looked upon as praiseworthy benevolence.)

…And then what thanks does he get for it? Some dispassionate praise, more work, and no appreciation for the tea he’s made.

It’s a bit telling (and painful) the way he responds to being asked if he’s found the location of the Yin metal yet, also: “Not yet; I’m incompetent.” I think he’s definitely the sort to feel, even as he’s very aware of the worth of his skills and what sort of areas he’s good with in some respects, the foundation of his belief in himself is nonetheless incredibly rocky and it’s easy for a reminder of any sort of failure to loom suddenly very large over his self-assessment in the moment.

At the same time though, Jin Guangyao is very much an adaptable person, and we see that on full display with his next explanation: that the one who has the last piece of Yin metal may very likely be Wei Wuxian. It’s both an exercise in political savvy, pointing out a powerful and disruptive influence likely to cause problems for Jin Guangshan in the future if his interference in the marriage proposal is any indication, and a significant sewing together of information from several different sources: Wei Wuxian’s opportunity to be in the same place previously as Xue Yang, as he explains to JGS, but also the front-row seat for WWX interfering with the power of Wen Ruohan’s Yin metal using Chenqing and his new Yin Tiger Seal.

I don’t think he holds any particular animosity toward Wei Wuxian at this point? This reads to me like a calculation based pretty essentially on: his father is clearly invested in expanding the power of the Jin sect and diminishing the interest or ability of other sects to oppose him, and also in (instrumentally to that goal) getting his hands on the last piece of Yin metal. Jin Guangyao has been explicitly tasked with working on the latter concern, and probably implicitly at least with the former - at some point, and some point soon, he’s going to need to produce results on that front, or else be dropped from JGS’s incredibly conditional regard for not being useful enough. Given the confluence of circumstances, lining up suspicions (which for all he knows are likely even true!) against Wei Wuxian serves both goals, and gives him another safe place to rest for a day or two before having to continue worrying how to be helpful enough to keep deserving his newfound status.

And that’s it for Jin Guangyao in episode 24! Poor kiddo. Looks like you can climb another rung higher on the ladder, sure, but it doesn’t mean you’ll make it free of being used for quite a long while still.

[dumbbitchnumberone]

Maybe its one of their birthdays,,,

Okay so this ficlet… kinda got away from me. It’s 3500 words. That’s longer than 2 of the full fics in TVG, but I just started writing and couldn’t stop. without further ado, enjoy:

Truth be told, the only reason Wade looked the kid up on Instagram in the first place was because he needed to figure out where he’d be and when to prevent him from getting assassinated, but even after the hitman situation was dealt with he found himself checking the kid’s profile every now and then.

Peter posts pretty frequently, but when he does it isn’t like there’s any sort of strongly curated theme. He doesn’t just post aesthetically pleasing pictures of coffee and designer clothes—he posts what’s going on in his life.

There’s a picture taken from a hospital bed in Avenger’s Tower. There’s a picture of a cool looking pigeon. There are multiple pictures of cute dogs he passed on the street and some dumb selfies with his friends. The thing is, those aren’t the ones that catch Wade’s eye.

The ones that catch his eye are the off-guard ones of the tall girl he hangs out with. The pictures of the city that had to have been taken while the kid was webbing his way around the city. A shot of the kid’s aunt (she’s his aunt? Is she old enough for that?) drinking coffee and sitting on the fire escape. Peter has quite the eye for what makes a good picture, but it’s obvious he doesn’t have anything to take pictures on other than his phone that’s quite a few generations out of date.

Wade has money. Granted, he’s been known to spend it all on plastique explosives so that he can build himself a throne out of them, but right now he has money. He’s also spent a lot of his life being poor—both regular poor and power shut off in the winter, breaking up bits of furniture to burn in a grate in the floor so you don’t freeze to death poor—which is why he knows that the kid won’t accept a gift from him without a good reason. Peter hasn’t talked about being poor exactly, but Wade has heard some of his epic rants about how annoying it is that Stark is always throwing money at his problems and trying to give Peter a new phone or laptop because “this one still works just fine—why would I get rid of it?” That along with the way he hardly ever goes out anywhere (if his Instagram stories are anything to judge by) and wears the same worn but well taken care of clothes almost every time Wade sees him as a real person is enough context for him to get a grasp of the kid’s attitude. It helps that Matt mentioned the kid’s aunt is a nurse and the uncle is dead. Living in New York on a nurse’s salary with a kid? That can’t be easy on the old wallet.

It isn’t until he’s leaning out of Matt’s bedroom window so that he can smoke without bothering the guy that he finally thinks of a time the kid might accept a gift. Peter always says that he’s almost sixteen, but there haven’t been any sweet sixteen posts on his Instagram, meaning his birthday is still coming up. The only question is when.

Wade stubs the cigarette out on the brick outside Matt’s window before dropping the butt to the street.

“Hey, when’s the kid’s birthday?” he asks, turning to look at where Matt is lying on his stupid, wonderful silk sheets.

Matt raises his eyebrows. “Considering what your heart just did, that is not the question I was expecting.”

Wade snorts. “Very funny. Seriously though, do you know when it is?”

“August tenth,” Matt answers. “Why?”

Thank god—still a week or so out. “Cause I wanted to get him something. Sixteen is a big deal and all.”

“That’s true,” Matt agrees, pulling himself up into a sitting position. “I’ve been trying to think of something to get him, but I’m not sure what he’d like.”

“I want to get him a camera—one of the really nice ones. You wanna go in together on it for him?” Wade offers.

“Sure—but why a camera?”

“If you could see his Instagram then you’d know,” Wade teases, and Matt snorts.

“Asshole. Well, I don’t know anything about cameras. Do you?” he asks, and shit, Wade doesn’t know anything about cameras.

Matt must be able to read that realization in his pulse or whatever, and the smirk it puts on his face is so incredibly annoying.

“Shut up,” Wade says.

“I didn’t say anything,” Matt replies with the smirk still on his face.

“Yeah, well you didn’t have to.”

Matt must take pity on him for once, because the smirk fades away to a much nicer smile. “Put your clothes back on and I’ll help you track down Jess and get her to tell us about cameras.”

“You really want me to put my clothes back on already?” Wade tries, because he is but a man and asshole-ish smirk or not, Matt’s got it goin’ on.

After a second of consideration Matt says, “No, I guess not.”

-----

“Okay, seriously, let’s go find Jess and get this figured out,” Matt says eventually as he’s doing up the buttons on his stupid fancy shirt.

Wade gets that matching clothes can be hard—but a suit every day has got to be some form of penance because no way in hell would anyone other than a Catholic willingly do that to themselves.

“Ugh, fine. Give my healing factor a second,” Wade groans.

Matt snorts and throws Wade’s shirt at him. “Don’t be a bitch. I’ve seen you walk off stab wounds quicker than that.”

“Haven’t seen anything,” Wade mutters under his breath, getting his pants thrown at him as well for his efforts.

Once they get down to the street looking like the world’s strangest yet most fitting couple (seriously, a horribly scarred guy and a blind guy—the perfect combination), Wade realizes that he’s the one blindly following after Matt.

“Hey, where are we going? Did you call Jess when I wasn’t looking?” he asks even though he highly doubts that’s the case. With Matt it’s almost always something stranger.

Wade’s hypothesis is proven once again as Matt shakes his head. “I know where she is.”

“… why do you know where she is?”

Matt shrugs. “We were hanging out last night and she mentioned she was getting lunch with her sister today around now. I know the general area she’ll be in, and I can find her from there.”

Freak.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Wade says, and Matt just smiles brightly at him.

He follows after Matt for another two blocks before the man stops abruptly and turns onto the next street then into a café that Wade doesn’t recall seeing the last time he was in this part of the city.

Matt heads straight for a table near the back, and Wade takes his arm so that it at least looks like the blind guy is the one being led.

“Jessica,” Matt says as they come to stand at the edge of a table tucked into a corner.

Jessica looks up from where she had been talking to a blonde lady who looks absolutely nothing like her yet still strangely familiar. Jess groans, and the blonde one just gapes at the two of them. Wade’s used to it, so he just waves at her. She looks embarrassed and immediately tears her eyes away from his face.

Jessica gives them a scrutinizing look and wrinkles up her nose. “Really? You couldn’t even bother taking a shower before you came and tracked me down?”

“We tried,” Wade replies, putting his arm around Matt’s waist and yanking him closer even if it does get him an elbow in the ribs. “We just got distracted.”

“Gross. What do you want?” she says, though she doesn’t actually sound all that grossed out.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends, Jess?” the blonde one asks, but it’s really very clearly a demand.

Jessica sighs. “They aren’t my friends, they’re a pain in my ass. The blind one’s Matt—my lawyer. You’ve met him once,” Matt smiles his charming smile in the blonde’s general direction. “The burn victim is Wade. Assholes, this is Trish. Now, tell me what you want.”

“We need to know about cameras,” Wade chimes in.

“What about them?” she asks.

“What’s a good one for someone who’s new to photography,” Matt asks.

“Sorry Murdock, but no matter how fancy a camera you buy, the pictures are still gonna come out blurry.”

Matt gives her a very flat look. “It’s for Peter. His birthday is coming up.”

Jessica’s demeanor softens a little bit at that, and it’s precious—not that Wade would ever say that out loud. But he’s noticed that at least he isn’t the only one who has a Peter-shaped soft spot in his heart.

“How much are you guys willing to spend?” she asks.

“I just took a job,” Wade says.

Jess nods in understanding. “Foreign or domestic?”

“It was in Brazil.”

“Ah, thought that one might’ve been you. Usually you’re more obvious though,” she says.

“This one called for subtlety. Made the paycheck higher, so I can’t complain too much.”

Trish looks like she’s just dying to ask what Wade’s job is, but she must be smart considering she doesn’t.

“Well, if money isn’t an issue, you can’t go wrong with a Sony Alpha A7 III. It’s around 2000, very beginner friendly, but if he has any trouble with it then I’ll be more than happy to show him how to get started with it,” Jess replies, taking out a pen from her pocket and scribbling something down on a napkin. “Get this lens with it—it shouldn’t be more than 500.”

“You’re a godsend,” Wade says, taking the napkin from her and blowing her a kiss.

Jessica rolls her eyes. “Save it for someone who’ll put out, Wilson.”

“Wonderful talking to you as always,” Matt says. “Nice to meet you properly, Trish.”

“You too,” Trish says with a smile.

Wade and Matt leave the restaurant and trek all the way up to the nearest Best Buy to get their hands on the camera and lens Jess recommended. The sales associate looks at them a bit strangely, and when he asks what they’re going to be using the camera for Matt somehow knows to slam his hand over Wade’s mouth and answer himself. Good choice; Wade’s answer would’ve been nudes.

“Do you know how to wrap presents?” Wade asks, looking at the boxes the camera and lens are in and then looking back to Matt to see the bitchiest look on his face.

“No, I don’t know how to wrap presents, Wade.”

“Well do you know anyone who knows how to wrap presents?”

“Yes,” Matt says with a defeated sigh.

-------

Half an hour later, Wade finds himself in a rundown apartment building with a two thousand dollar camera in a bag on one arm and a roll of Spider-Man wrapping paper from the dollar store with Matt standing beside him and knocking obnoxiously on the door.

“I know you’re in there, asshole,” Matt calls out, thumping his fist against the door again. “Stop calling me a bitch under your breath and say it to my face.”

“You’re a bitch,” comes a response that’s loud enough for Wade and his sad, normal hearing to pick up.

“To my face,” Matt repeats.

“I’ll shoot you!” the voice calls back.

“That’s a lie!” Matt says.

There’s silence for a moment followed by the sound of heavy footsteps and the door opening.

“What the hell do you two clowns want?” Frank asks, pinching the bridge of his nose much like a put-out parent.

“We need help wrapping a present for Peter’s birthday,” Matt says.

Frank looks like he just might shoot them both. “And why the hell did you decide to come to me for that?”

“You were the nearest fully functional adult I could think of. Take it as a compliment. Help us wrap the present and we’ll put your name on the card too.”

Frank stares at them for a moment but eventually loses the stare-down with Matt and lets them in.

While wrapping the present, he interrogates them on their choice of gift. Once he gets an answer that he deems suitable for that, he moves on to giving them shit about the choice in wrapping paper. Then he gives Matt shit for something Hell’s Kitchen related that Wade has very little interest in.

“Are you two done flirting?” Wade asks when Matt and Frank are still talking long after the present’s been wrapped.

“Why? Eager to be alone with me again?” Matt shoots back.

Frank gags.

Matt punches him in the shoulder.

They leave after that, and it’s determined that Matt should be the one to keep the camera safe until Peter’s birthday. Wade gets to keep the definitely-not-officially-licensed Spider-Man wrapping paper though, so it’s a pretty fair trade.

----

Peter’s apparently got his hand full with a combination of school, his internship, and dealing with the lowlifes of Queens, so Wade doesn’t get a chance to see the kid—either as himself or his alter-ego in the next week. In fact, it isn’t until he’s scrolling aimlessly through Instagram that he sees a picture of a poorly-made cake on the kid’s story and realizes that it’s the tenth. One frantic flurry of text messages to Matt later, he confirms that Matt hasn’t had the chance to see the kid either thanks to being up to his non-functional eyeballs in lawyer work for the entire week.

Matt isn’t a fan of texting, so he elects to call Wade instead of suffering through any more grammatical errors and excessive punctuation.

“Should we bring it to him tonight?” Matt asks.

“I mean, it’s his birthday. I doubt he’s going out as Spider-Man on his sweet sixteen,” Wade points out. “Come on orphan, at least pretend you have a functional knowledge of childhood milestones.”

“I’m flipping you off right now,” Matt says.

“Glad to hear it—wait, he just added to his story again.” Wade taps on the gradient circle surrounding Peter’s profile picture and sees a short video of the kid, his aunt, and the two friends he’s always with at a restaurant. Wade’s pretty sure he actually knows that restaurant, and that’s confirmed when he checks Peter’s location on Snapchat. “He’s like, six blocks from your place. Carmine’s—you ever been there?”

“Ugh—yes. Worst date of my life,” Matt replies, and Wade makes note of that comment so he can wheedle out all the wonderful, cringeworthy details at a later date.

“Great, meet me there. Don’t forget the camera.”

“Don’t forget the card,” Matt shoots back before the line goes dead.

Wade won’t forget the card. He put way too much effort into the card to forget it—including hand-done illustrations and glitter. Rather than bother Dopinder or, god forbid, take the subway, Wade just gets an Uber and talks the poor driver’s ear off the whole way there.

When they pull up outside, Wade sees Matt standing casually outside the restaurant and the driver is more than happy to have the weird, rambling burn victim out of his car.

“Matthew!” Wade calls, pulling Matt into a half hug. “You’re here!”

“Of course I’m here, dumbass,” Matt replies in that charming way of his. “Peter and his people are still inside—let’s go give him the present. Oh, by the way, his aunt thinks I’m his Spanish tutor, and I don’t think either of his friends know who I am either. Let’s keep it that way.”

“Um, well, his friends definitely know who I am, so how are we gonna explain how Deadpool knows his Spanish tutor?” Wade says, and god bless poor Matt for having to keep all these different stories in order. Super-secret identities are a bitch.

“I’m Daredevil’s lawyer, I met you through him,” Matt answers.

“Wow, you had that one prepared. Have to use it a lot?”

“More often than you’d think. Come on, it smells like sewage out here,” Matt says, putting his free arm through Wade’s and dragging him towards the restaurant.

Even with Wade on his arm, Matt still manages to charm the maître d’ into escorting them to the Parker’s table.

“Hey, kiddo!” Wade says, loud enough to get the attention of everyone at the table, but not so loud as to draw unwanted attention. Contrary to popular belief, he can manage some sort of subtlety on occasion. “Thought you could ditch out on us on your birthday?”

Peter looks shocked at first and then pleasantly surprised by the two of them. That adorable smile spreads across his face, quite the contrast to the unreadable look on the girl’s face and the awed one on Ned’s. Peter’s aunt is doing a pretty good job of not staring at his general appearance, so props to her.

“Wade—Matt, hi!” Peter says. “What’re you guys doing here?”

“Wishing you a happy birthday. And giving you a reminder—what did I tell you about Snap Maps the first night we met?” Wade says.

“Hitman’s best friend, I know, Wade. You’re one of, like, six people who can see where I am,” Peter answers in a very exasperated ‘yes, dad’ sort of way.

Wade is touched by that, and he puts his hand over his heart.

“Hi, Matt. It’s good to see you again,” the kid’s aunt says with a smile that Matt can get from any woman on the planet. “And Wade, was it? I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you before,” she adds on with a very deliberate look at Peter.

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Wade says. “I’m a friend of Peter’s. From work.”

May’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline and she gives Peter another look.

“Um,” Peter says, looking over at Wade who gives him a big ole thumbs up. “Deadpool,” he whispers to his aunt.

She looks shocked, and Wade speaks up to fill the silence.

“Anyway, sorry DD couldn’t be here, but you know how much of a bitch he is about his stupid secret identity. He sent his lawyer to serve as a proxy. We come bearing gift.”

Matt sets the nicely wrapped gift onto the table. “Courtesy of my clients.”

Wade sets the card on top of the box and pushes both towards Peter.

Peter picks the card up off of the box and admires Wade’s doodles on the front of it before opening it up to read what Wade wrote inside.

Hey kid, happy birthday! You might be sixteen, but I’m sure we’ve all stressed you out to the point your heart is in its mid forties. We might be a bunch of dysfunctional alcoholics with the emotional maturity of thirteen year olds, but here’s hoping you’ll be the first of us to break that cycle. With so many examples of what not to do, how hard can it be? Anyway, we’re proud of you for sticking (ha! Get it?) with us. I like to think I’m pretty observant, so I think you’ll be able to put this gift to good use. You can thank Jess for lending her experience in the area to DD and me, and Frank for being the only adult we know who can wrap presents.

Happy birthday, webhead.

–Wade, DD, Jess, and last but not least Frank.

Peter smiles up at Wade after reading the card. “Thanks, Wade, and tell DD thanks too. And Ms. Jones, and Mr. Castle.”

“I’ll be sure to pass it along,” Matt says with a smile of his own.

Peter sets the card aside very carefully before taking care in opening the package. As soon as he sees the box, the kid just gapes up at Wade.

“This is too much,” he says, and Wade is reassured in his choice of waiting for a special occasion to give the gift.

“Baby-child, there’s nothing I’d rather do with my paycheck from murdering a druglord and burning down his empire than get you something you’ll undoubtedly put to good use,” Wade replies, earning himself a rather horrified look from the kid’s poor aunt.

Rather than being disturbed by Wade’s declaration, Peter gets up from his place at the table and flings himself into Wade to hug him.

“Thank you,” Peter mumbles where his face is smushed up against Wade’s chest.

Wade smiles down at him.

“You’re welcome, kid.”

[opheliathedreamer-blog]

OKCryptid // Pt. 3 { Ghoul }

You decided to linger over one of your lower percentage matches out of curiosity. It consisted mainly of nighttime stills of the graveyard at the outskirts of the city and sound bites of popular Gothic rock bands. He didn’t post a photo of himself. The only hint you received as to his identity was that he was a male non-human of unspecified age whose name was Grindel. The tone of his profile description (Location: The Void. Occupation: Feasting on corpses overlooked by the machine) would have given you cause for concern if it weren’t for rare glimpses of his sardonic humor (Mood: Wake Me Up Inside).

You debated whether you should message him for a few moments before deciding to take the plunge. If he seemed a bit too off, you could always block him.

         You: Evanescence fan?

         Grindel: Unironically? Never

You snorted.

         You: Given the spooky aesthetic, I thought you would be

         You: Which I like btw

         You: There are a lot of gravestones on your profile

         You: Are you into history?

         Grindel: Of a sort

         You: It a secret?

         Grindel: Yes

         Grindel: I wouldn’t want to have to kill you

Although you rationalized that he must have meant it as a joke, a shiver raced up your spine. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Hell, your neighbor was married to an ogre that was at least twice his size, but, much to your chagrin, you couldn’t help but remember your parents’ stern warnings— Monsters can wear their masks in public but nothing’s changed. Our ancestors made us wary of them for a reason.

         Grindel: Where do you live?

Of course his next question didn’t alleviate your anxiety in the slightest. Icy tendrils slithered around your heart, and you debated following your plan B and blocking him, before your fingers typed a message of their own accord. Curiosity killed the cat, or so they say.

         You: The abyss. It’s right next door to the void. Can’t miss it

         Grindel: Nice

         Grindel: I see you too work in the food industry?

         You: A bartender, yeah

         You: Crappy job but it’s temporary

         You: I’m still looking for an artifact restoration position someplace local that doesn’t call for thousands of years of experience

         Grindel: Are you interested in history then?

         You: Of a sort

Two can play at this game, you thought. After he didn’t respond for five minutes, you pocketed your phone and started to load your washer before you felt it vibrate. He had responded by attaching a photo of a dilapidated mausoleum. A cracked stone family crest displayed a raven holding a chalice in its talons.

Your tension concerning his previous comments gradually melted away. This was an area in which you thrived. The carvings had to have been at least three centuries old, possibly older. It was, however, hard to tell due to the copious amounts of lichen and ivy decorating the tomb.

         Grindel: This belonged to the Korbin family. The last heir, Emelia Korbin, died in 1876. Since then, no one seems to pay attention to it.

         You: That’s a shame. I bet it was stunning in its hay day.

         You: Is this from the cemetery in town?

         You: I never knew it housed anything this old

         Grindel: There’s a lot of things people can overlook

         Grindel: Past things often fade away in the dark

         Grindel: I look after them though

Your ears all but pricked. Was that a clue?

         You: So, you’re a groundskeeper?

         Grindel: Undergroundskeeper

You mentally repeated the word, brow furrowing. Undergroundskeeper. Did he help construct coffins? Did the mausoleum vaults descend that far?

Or did he live underground? You knew some bat people and cave fae who were particularly sensitive to light. That would explain why all his photos were taken well after the sun had gone down.

Before you could offer a possible answer to the mystery, you glanced at your phone’s clock and saw that your shift started in half an hour. Cursing under your breath, you ran towards the door.

         You: Sorry shift starts soon

         You: I’ll text you later

         Grindel: Thank you

Although you hadn’t the time to reply, the odd nature of his statement kept your thoughts turning. Not “okay. Not “all right, ttyl.” He said, “thank you.” A part of you started to feel sympathy for the secretive monster. It seemed that not many took the time to get to know him.

You went through the motions at work, chatting with the regulars and painting on a smile whenever someone outstayed their welcome. The bouncer, a minotaur named Frank, was pretty good at looking out for everyone, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t experienced a few lewd comments and wandering hands.

You normally brushed it off and went about your night, head down and ears closed, but that night one of the patrons, a troll who had one too many, was far too insistent for comfort. You had told him you weren’t interested for the sixth time that evening and politely excused yourself in order to go wave down Frank before the troll’s calloused hand shot out and wrapped around your neck. Your breath caught in your chest as he pulled you forward. The scent of vodka and whatever trollish mead he had been pouring into it stung your nose. You weakly struggled as his tusks scraped against your face in an attempt at a kiss. 

You sent a silent prayer that someone would intervene and, a few seconds later, a few orc bikers that were regulars pulled him off. The troll growled something in his native tongue and threw a few punches. You watched in relief as Frank ran over and got him in a headlock from behind. One of the bikers—Zadok, you thought it was—bellowed at you to call the police.

The troll paled, blurry eyes rapidly blinking. He stopped struggling. “Whateva.’ Ah’ll leave. Jus’ let go o’ me.”

Zadok looked at you. “You want to press charges on this asshole?”

You looked at him, hand over your racing heart, and remembered a news headline from days prior. There was a robbery at a convenience store. Just some teenage kids sneaking around and trying to pilfer some booze. The elf got off scot free. The troll with him was sentenced to five years in prison because the police insisted that the necklace he wore, a collection of claws and fangs from kills starting after his coming-of-age ceremony, was a weapon.

You thickly swallowed and shook your head. “He’s drunk. Just let him go.”

Frank escorted him out, yelling after him that if he saw him in there again, he would call the cops. You glanced down at the counter and realized your splayed hands were faintly trembling. Glaring, you clenched them into fists and wrapped your arms around your middle, breathing deeply, in and out.

“Hey,” Zadok softly began.

You turned your head so sharply that the orc winced. “You okay?” he asked.

You exhaled roughly through your nose, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

“It’s almost closing time, and the boys and I ain’t got nowhere to be. Want us to help you home?”

“Nah. I know you have to work tomorrow, and Marnie’ll be worried. I’ll just call an Uber or something.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.

He didn’t look convinced but let any budding arguments die with a sigh. “Kay. Take care of yourself, all right, Y/N?”

“You too, Zadok. Thank you.”

Those who had witnessed the altercation went out of their way to leave extra tips and, when the Lagoon finally closed, Frank volunteered to drive you home himself. However, despite your previous promise to call an Uber, you found that the crisp night air was clearing your head. Your body was also so full of adrenaline that you feared if you were driven home and tried to sleep, you’d stay up all night thinking about it.

You thought back to the old cemetery. A foolish thing, perhaps, but your hobbies had always done wonders in alleviating your stress. You had your phone, and you had pepper spray hidden in your back pocket. And, with how taut your muscles felt, you thought you could outrun anything. Besides, you wanted to see the mausoleum for yourself.

Frank thought it was a terrible idea once you told him but, knowing how stubborn you were, he made you promise to text him once you arrived and once you were safely home. If he didn’t hear from you in twenty minutes, the time it would take for you to walk there, he said he was calling the police. You reassured him that you would and then set out for your walk.

The chilly weather caused you to huddle inside your hoody for warmth, but you appreciated the full moon and the scarce stars that could be seen through the haze of light pollution. The more you walked, the more you relaxed. As you texted Frank updates, you actually felt your eyelids droop. It had been a long night. After a few moments of looking, you’d head back home.

Upon reaching the cemetery, you drank everything in—the languid shadows birthed by the yellowed moonlight, the mournfully swaying weeping willows, the damp grass and time-stained stone, the scent of decaying flowers, incense, and overturned soil. You were surprised to notice how many prominent non-human families were there. You even saw a Baron or two, one an elf and the other a goblin. You silently wished you had brought a notebook so you could jot down dates and try engraving some of the more battered headstones, but you promised yourself you would return in the daylight.

You were leaning downward, poised to take a picture of the late Yera Offley’s stone, featuring her battle-ready relief, when you saw an approaching shadow out of your periphery. Remembering the previous events of the evening, you ducked behind a nearby mausoleum and waited. The quadrupedal creature drew closer. You hid your phone’s bright screen against your chest. No sound heralded its coming, and that somehow frightened you more than its actual presence. 

“You should have known better than to loiter in graveyards at night,” a throaty rasp announced. “Didn’t I warn you? If I found one more of you children defacing the graves, there would be the Underworld to pay.” 

You fumbled with your back pocket. 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” 

When you finally retrieved the pepper spray, you struggled with the safety release and dropped the can.

“Shit!” you hissed under your breath. 

You reached for it and saw another hand emerge. Its elongated, emaciated fingers were tipped with ivory claws, and fine hair grew on its knuckles and what you glimpsed of its palm. Your breath caught in your chest, and you reeled back with wide eyes. It was gangly and faintly humanoid, even though it seemed to prefer traveling on all fours, and was clothed in a tattered button-up and trousers. Its ears were large and tapered into points, and its red eyes were a stark contrast to its colorless skin. Its nose, which consisted of two raw slits, flared and its mouth, filled with sharp, yellow teeth, shut with a snap.

You barely registered that you were hyperventilating until your head grew light and black spots danced in your vision. The creature retreated and held out up both its hands placatingly.

“Calm down, Y/N. I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else... I won’t hurt you.” It slowly retrieved the can of pepper spray and offered it to you. “Here. It’s all right.”

Seeing that it wasn’t going to eat you outright, you slowly accepted the proffered can and forced your breathing to slow.

“How do you know my name?”

It canted its head to the side. “The same way you know mine.”

You tried to organize your scrambled thoughts until it hit you. Undergroundskeeper. Cemetery pictures. Past things often fade away in the dark. I look after them, though. Grindel, one of your matches on that ridiculous dating app, was a ghoul.

“You’re not supposed to be real,” you said. Ghouls were a legend, a myth, a creature that humans and monsters alike referenced in scary stories to discourage rebellious teens from disrespecting the dead. 

“And you wonder why I don’t advertise what I am,” he snorted. “There are monsters that even monsters fear.”

You thought back to his listed occupation status: Feasting on corpses overlooked by the machine. You had thought it was a grunge reference, but he meant it literally. You shakily chuckled. A living myth was in front of you, one who killed grave robbers and could supposedly travel to and fro between the mortal realm and the Underworld.

And you had matched with him 65%. The incredulity of it wasn’t lost on you. 

He blinked, seemingly confused. “What?”

“I’m tired, terrified, and in disbelief at the fact that the cryptid among cryptids took the time to install a dating app.”

He glanced downward. “Tch, All the other ones have emerged. I thought…” He waved his skeletal hand vaguely before he shook his head. Thin, cracked lips frowned. “Ah, what was I thinking? If the others face persecution, the guardians of the dead will only face that much more.”

You grew silent at his morose tone, and a part of you felt sympathetic. You remembered how he thanked you when you told him you would talk to him again. 

“Maybe... but I think if there are people brave enough to get to know you, minds will change.” You paused and added, “Like mine. I... I’d like to get to know you.” 

He surveyed your face in disbelief before his eyes landed on your neck. He slowly reached forward a hand. You gasped, more out of surprise than fear, as you registered his cold hands. His claws, which could most likely rend bloated flesh like a scissor could paper, rested on your skin as softly as a breeze.

“Who did this?” he murmured. His breath smelt of carrion. You tried to ignore it, but your stomach still instinctively curled. 

“What?”

“There’s a bruise here.”

“Oh.” You exhaled. “Just some drunk asshole at work. It bad?” 

“It depends on your definition of bad.”

You cracked a smile. “You’re always so damn cryptic.” 

His sharp teeth winked in the shadows as he returned a roguish grin. “Mysteries are no fun if they are solved right away.” His grin faded and he withdrew. “Still, I apologize for that. You weren’t kidding when you said it was a crappy job.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I told you it’s only temporary.” 

You placed the can back in your pocket and slowly rose to your feet. Your legs briefly wobbled. Grindel reached up to help you stabilize.

“Are you all right?”

You nodded, barking a short laugh. “It’s been a ride. My body’s still trying to catch up.” After texting Frank another reassurance that you were all right, you turned to your newfound companion. “Grindel?” 

“Yes, Y/N?”

“The initial reason I came here was to see the Korbin mausoleum. Could you take me to it?”

“Of course.”

Pictures couldn’t do it justice. The Romanesque carvings were breath-taking, and Grindel showed you a secret passage into the tomb, where you were able to read walls of names and observe countless bas reliefs of the harpy family.

“You like it?”

“I love it. I’ll have to come back with some of my notebooks. I’d love to do research on them. They must have so many stories to tell.”

“You’ll come back?”

The fragile hope in his voice tugged at your heart. Before you realized what you were doing, you knelt down and wrapped your arms around his neck. His skin was still as frigid as you remember, and it was disturbing how you could feel every rib and bump in his spine. However, your sympathy outweighed every other thought when Grindel carefully returned your embrace, hands hovering just above your hoody. If you were still a little frightened, then he was terrified of this fragile tie between the two of you.

You mustered up the courage to turn your head and gently press your lips to his sharp cheekbone. He sharply inhaled. His breath still testified to his unorthodox diet, but you found you could grow used to that, too.

“I promise.”

@thetravelerwrites, @ban23

[i-stan-too-much]

Sope Fic Recs

Here are some of my favorite Sope (Yoonseok) fics, because I’ve read a LOT and I’d like to share some of them with you :-

[ these are in no particular order and there are also some others I’ve wanted to share but unfortunately, they’ve been deleted :( ]

* - omg, this is very good

**- wow, this is a work of art

***- this is so good to the point that I’ve reread it so many times and yet I still fall in love with it just like the first time

1. Darling!*** By margotty (orphan_account)

— Hoseok is an aspiring writer who keep notes about a certain boy with soft black hair, lashes that feather in the wind and a nose that twitches when he's pissed.

Hoseok wakes one day to find that boy, the one he'd so often referred to as "Darling" is in his kitchen, making pancakes in Hoseok's pajama clothes.

(Basically Yoongi is a figment of Hoseok's imagination and he's come to life.)

//

This fic is one of those fics that when you just read the first sentence, you know that it’s going to be a good one. The plot is especially well thought out, the idea behind this fic is really cool, from the way that Hoseok first deals with the fact that there’s this ‘stranger’ that’s come to life from his notes, to how he learns to welcome Yoongi pretty soon after and learns to love him in such a short period of time. I also really like this fic’s ‘soft aesthetic’ like when Yoongi and Hoseok ride on Hoseok’s bike all over town, and how Yoongi is described with a certain delicacy. The first time I read this fic was on a school night - or shall I say day, at 3:00 am and after I was done, I had to go and reread it.

2. i can be ur pretty boy (i’ll wear a skirt for u)** By ohh

sugarmin, from what Hoseok gathers, is a goddamn tease. His profile picture is the lower half of his face, dewy cheeks, button nose, and a dangly earring hanging from one of his ears visible, but what puts the icing on top of the cake is this: his pretty pink mouth, suckling delicately on a heart-shaped lollipop. i have a gun in my bag, his bio says. Angel or devil, Hoseok doesn’t know, but he craves.

And oh, how Hoseok craves.

or, a story of new neighbours, boba teas, hidden identities, and riding the penny board under the summer sun.

//

This fic has two stars because it incorporates smut with a nice plot. Again I love the ‘soft aesthetic’ vibes that Yoongi gives off. I also like how Yoongi shows a more feminine side, and how both characters aren’t subjected to toxic masculinity. The fic itself is great, Hoseok kind of has a crush on this instagram model, the model being Yoongi, and Yoongi ends up moving to be Hoseok’s next door neighbor, and the rest is history.

3. Canvas** By Daebon

The paintbrush is poised above skin, ready to continue its work, but Hoseok finds that he's suddenly in far too deep. Now, the man beneath him has become the artist, coloring Hoseok’s world in vivid shades of passion.

His trembling hand lets go, brush clattering to the floor, splattering paint.

“Yoongi, I want you,” he whispers, voice low.

The elder stares back at him with a peculiar expression. “I already agreed to let you paint me.”

“No,” Hoseok rasps out, shaking. “Yoongi, I want you.”

———

Haunted by strange dreams, Yoongi begins to question the blurry line between right and wrong. Hoseok has the perfect life, but yearns for a muse other than his provocative boyfriend. Unfortunately, these troubled men find each other before they find themselves.

//

This fic has the potential of getting three stars, but the reason I gave it two was for the ending (this fic contains angst.) Now that being said, this fic is on a whole other level of literary techniques, the writer could even be a bestselling author, with how well this is written. Even if you don’t like angst, I’d recommend you give this one a go, because of how well written it is.

4. Love Yourself*** By endearings

It begins when he’s ten.

“Yoongi-ah,” his brother says, eyes glinting meanly. “You look a little chubby these days. Maybe don’t eat the ice cream, yeah?”

Yoongi puts the spoon down; curls into himself, drawing his knees to his chest despite the countless times he’s been told to sit properly at the dining table. “It’s just--just one bite, hyung; It’s not a lot.”

“Suit yourself.”

//

This fic will make you cry!! I put this one on here because of the message. You can tell that Yoongi has been insecure, and his family didn’t really help him feel better about himself, but Hoseok did. And maybe I put this one on here because I can relate personally to it (my best friend has been dealing with insecurities and body image for a long time now) but I still think that you should read this. I feel like it will really open your eyes. Disclaimer 99.9999% you’ll cry when you read this, so I don’t advise to read it in a public place.

5. The Diner** By psychojimin

"He tried really hard not to stare when that new employee came out of the kitchen for a second time. He tried really hard not to sniff when he passed by. There was just something about the man that made something stir inside of Hoseok, that made a comforting warmth grow in the pit of his stomach. The coffee in his mug had seemed to be cooled down enough and he took a sip, but the still scorching drink almost felt refreshing against his heated tongue."

//

I kind of debated putting this one on here, because I know a lot of people aren’t really interested in a/b/o, or are uncomfortable with smut. If you are, then you can go ahead and skip this one, but I put this one down for the people that have been looking for good ‘Alpha Hoseok’ and ‘Omega Yoongi’ fics. Not to mention, the smut in this is really good, but there’s still a plot.

6. Under the Same Sky*** By Lastwhalien For Mia95 [on going]

"The sky he wakes up to is not his sky."

One night ends as another begins.

Yoongi and Hoseok are half a world a way, living very different lives and yet they are intertwined when they begin to share their senses, irreversibly connecting their worlds.

Hoseok is the son of Durumi, not just a criminal empire but the empire, it is the machine that turns the world, manipulating money, world leaders, crime, and the rise and fall of power. He's good at his job, he was born for it, raised for it, but a coup has given his father the perfect chance to remove Hoseok from power, trapped in his apartment he's restlessly waiting.

Yoongi has escaped his past carrying the guilt of his mistakes he has rebuilt his life near the sea where he works on recreating the world as best he can, His life is calm, removed from the chaos it once held, but it still follows; a name he can never have, a family he can never truly be a part of.

One day they start to share their worlds, to see, to hear, to touch, to smell, to taste, to be two souls, two bodies, bound.

//

This one is so good!! Yoongi and Hoseok start off as complete strangers who appear in each other’s dreams. Then they realize that they can communicate with each other, and read each other’s thoughts. This one isn’t complete yet, but it’s so interesting and I can’t wait for the next chap. The plot is very interesting and the writer knows how to thicken the plot without dragging it out too much. The suspense will eat you alive!! Whether you want to start this fic right away or wait until it’s completed is totally up to you though.

7. wake up (to the sound of your fleeting heart)*** By inkingbrushes

Yoongi walks into Hoseok's dreams and it's surprising, sure, but it's a surprise that Hoseok welcomes.

//

This one too, is one of those that makes you wonder, how do people come up with such things?! This one is one of the older ones, and yet I still remember the first time I read it and how in awe I was, that someone wrote this and that they were THAT GOOD. Ever since, this writer has been one of my favorites and go to for bts fics.

8. stay (a little longer)** By ineedmygirl

That part of Hoseok that shut down when Yoongi left, that huge gaping space left in his brain and in his chest - it shut down to protect him

It was the part of Hoseok that knew, deep down, all along, that he was in love with Yoongi. And it knew that if Hoseok realized it back then, the heartbreak would devastate him beyond repair.

And now, that part of Hoseok is awake again.

or, Hoseok's best friend disappeared two years ago without a trace. They run into each other again in a seedy hotel in the middle of nowhere, and somehow Hoseok convinces him to join him and his friends on a road trip.

//

This one is a more recent one, so if you’ve read the ones I’ve listed above there still might be a chance that you haven’t read this one. This one is perfect for when you just need a casual fix to read when you’re home alone on a weekend and you’re bored and just snuggled up in your bed all warm. When I read this one, it just made me go aww. And when I reread it, it also made me go aww.

9. we’ll be looking for sunlight* By inkingbrushes

Yoongi thinks Hoseok's got a smile that can rival the sun.

(Or: the one where they meet during a cold winter night and Yoongi has no idea the boy with the million-dollar smile can turn everything he touches into ice.)

//

This one is the Jack Frost au you didn’t know you needed. I love all things Disney and Dreamworks and this fic was no exception. After typing all of this out, I questioned whether this one should really be on here, but why not. Who doesn’t like Disney or Dreamworks am I right?

10. The Things Worth Going To War For*** By softlyblue

“Spice and silk and trade and cloth. These are the things one goes to war over, but in my heart of hearts, I know they are not worth it.”

- quoted from a letter penned by the Crown Prince to his lover, at the end of the Southern War

*

“It’s got ears,” says the man that’s choking him. Hoseok. “Look, look. It’s got - like a cat.”

“Let me-” Yoongi wheezes, phlegm in the back of his throat, stars in his eyes, “Let me-”

“So Jungyoo wasn’t lying.”

Hoseok pushes harder. Yoongi realises faintly that he isn’t even touching the ground; Hoseok is holding him against the wall, Yoongi’s feet dangling uselessly a foot from the floor. “Why are you here?”

“He’s got the house markings,” Seokjin stretches over Hoseok’s shoulder and presses a thumb to the centre of Yoongi’s forehead, smearing the makeup there. The warpaint. “Maybe-”

“But why’s he got ears?”

Yoongi claws ever-more desperately. (Oh, if Jeongguk could see him now - he’d be a disgrace.)

“Hoseok-ah, I think you’re choking it.”

//

This one is also really good. I really like the relationship between Yoongi and Hoseok. Both start off hating each other at first, but slowly turn to acquaintances, then to friends, and finally to lovers. I remember this fic used to get updated every Sunday, and I would look forward to the end of the week just for this one. Disclaimer though, there are A LOT of ocs (original characters) so if you get confused a lot or are a little slow, you may want to at least skim through the previous chapters for names to have an idea of what’s going on (trust me this is from experience, I had to reread the entire thing)

11. Ripped At Every Edge, But We’re A Masterpiece** By superrunnaturall

Min Yoongi and his muse, Jung Hoseok.

//

I really like this fic, because you can really see the contrast between Yoongi and Hoseok’s background and where they came from. This one is also pretty old, but there might be a chance that you haven’t read it yet. The fact that Yoongi is a painter is a really good bonus might I add.

12. the prince’s vivisected* By cherryfluffyfuzzysocks [ongoing]

while the rest of the household worries over namjoon's strange behavior following prince jungkook's birthday, yoongi sets his mind on a different task.

he wants hoseok back in the house, whatever that takes. five years of enslavement together was horrific, but one month apart is unbearable. as yoongi prepares to work himself dead, the past continues to haunt the present.

**second work within a continuous series

//

This fic isn’t even my favorite of the series, but I added it because I think that this entire series is SO COOL. The idea of a kind of dystopian universe, where all humans are controlled by aliens has been overdone, but not when Jungkook’s the alien, that’s controlling everyone. I think that kind of adds a special touch especially when you see that even though the rest of bangtan are slaves to Jungkook (minus Hoseok) each one of them is kind of struggling with something different, and this series is covering exactly that. Each member (or two) will cover a fic and even though not all the fics will be sope I think that this one is still a must. Disclaimer, Jungkook is a huge asshole, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

[kastlenetwork]

Thank you so to everyone who participated in secret santa for kastle christmas this year! every time an event takes place in our group, i’m always completely blown away by the effort that takes place out of everyone involved. there were a lot of really wonderful things this year; beautiful edits and gifs and art and fic. i always feel like a really old proud grandma during these and all events and how much everyone does to put their all into it! and also a big thank you to everyone who decided to not sign up for still enjoying and showing that you enjoyed all of their work, with reblogs and likes and comments and kudos  ♡❄♡❄♡

if you haven’t gotten your gift yet, i’m doing my best to find out why and to get that to you -- and i’m so sorry that it’s late and hasn’t been posted. until then, [under the cut, so i can add in the pieces that came in afterwards] here is a list of every posted gift this year! and again, thank you all for participating ♡❄♡❄♡

@allmyfuckingobsessions for @carry-the-sky Road Trip aesthetic: “Things you said while we were driving”

@benmendelsohns for @ejunkiet something entirely different [ao3] | rated: general audiences nothing could be seen outside the window either, just blinding whiteness that shook the very foundations of -. The blizzard began in the afternoon, continued all day and well into the night.

@benmendelsohns for @kenobios “frank and karen, when i ain’t got you”

@bisexualmicro for @hot-pink-mess “(maybe) this tired world can change” a kastle playlist [playmoss]

@carry-the-sky for @itsybitsylemonsqueezy my head is filled with ruins (most of them, i built with you) [ao3] | rated: general audiences She keeps the roses. They brighten up her room and sometimes, without thinking, she finds herself running a hand over them, the petals soft and smooth between her fingers. She plucks one from its stem, tucks it under her pillow and sleeps without dreaming. There’s a petal hidden between the pages of the book she’s reading, another slipped down into the pocket of her coat. It’s not enough, it’s not enough but it’s something.

@chelseamischief for @punisherpage “you always have a home, frank.”

@clarkebellamy for @nxtyourfirstrodeo put me on trial

@cllairetemples for @granpawesley heaven’s got a plan for you, child

@eklixio for @thevampirecat “for the window”

@favrielle for @whentheskylequakes the winter king [ao3] | rated: not rated Karen Page is tired of being hurt and threatened. When Wilson Fisk threatens to claw his way back into civilisation, Frank Castle steps in to offer her a safe escape.

@fioredi for @benmendelsohns and so we touched, and maybe our breathing together was some kind of heavenly conversation in God’s delicate and magnifying language, the one we don’t dare speak out loud, not yet. -mary oliver

@frankcastle for @wasleichtes Kastle + making each other smile/laugh. Kastle + talking about each other when the other’s not there.

@goddamnitkastle for @robbieamell It involves Karen’s relationship with her brother Kevin [one, two, three, four, five]

@harrumphandhuzzah for @c-sand color me winter [version two]

@hot-pink-mess for @showerdownbonanza merry christmas kastle art

@itsybitsylemonsqueezy for @harrumphandhuzzah a frank discussion [ao3] | rated: general audiences Karen hasn't seen Frank since the elevator. When he finally comes round to her place, she doesn't know whether to scream, cry, or kiss him. Probably all three.

@karen-pagee for @mm8fic “stay” a kastle secret santa playlist [8 tracks]

@kastleandcoffee for @goddamnitkastle desiderata [ao3] | rated: mature She hasn’t seen Frank since the elevator, since that damned day when she stumbled home, bruised and bloodied and bone-Fucking-tired. She dreamt about him, about that moment, him looking at her like that, like his entire world was there in that elevator; her breath stuttering in her lungs, her leaning in, lips parted. His forehead against hers.

@kastlenetwork for @mapleymood shades of grey: a kastle playlist [playmoss] a kastle christmas outtake edit.

@kastlequill for @thefudge merry christmas appetizer 

@kenobios for @fioderi  I really can’t stay. But baby, it’s cold outside.

@mapleymood for @favrielle you know i just can’t let you be [ao3] | rated: teen and up “Lie still,” he growls.“I’m doing my best here,” Karen grits out. “But you’re no Clara Barton.”[Or, Frank and Karen have an old argument that, this time, turns into something new.]

@mm8fic for @j0n-bernthal unspoken, a kastle network christmas 2017 fanmix [spotify]

@nxtyourfirstrodeo for @sincerelydayyy Me Without You is Like a Present Without a Bow [ao3] | rated: teen and up Frank makes plans for his first Christmas as a 'free' man and they involve Karen. But he can't do it alone so he recruits some help from people.

@obeyyourheart for @sail-not-drift warm me up [ao3] | rated: explicit Frank warms Karen up on a cold winter evening.

@ohmypreciousgirl for @ughhhlarryshippers when our lips touch I can taste the next sixty years of my life [ao3] | rated: mature Karen finds it hysterically ironic that it’s Frank Castle who taught her to appreciate romance. Frank manages to pull off quiet intimacy that feels genuine. Probably because Frank believes that actions show he cares and proves he wants her, instead of doing it for the sake of a social expectation. So, Karen learns she loves being romanced, but only if it’s by Frank. He’s just ridiculously good at it.--- (Or five things Karen wasn't expecting from a relationship with Frank)

@porpentinygoldstein for @allmyfuckingobsessions wishful thinking [ao3] | rated: general audiences Another Christmas Eve where Karen Page is all alone, but for some reason, hopes for Frank Castle to show up.

@sail-not-drift for @devilbunnyking being again [ao3] | rated: teen and up Weeks after Frank left her shaken and devastated in a hotel elevator, Karen finds herself in need of a friend. What follows could mean a new beginning for both of them.

@shipsabound for @spacefoxen  i can hear your gentle call [ao3] | rated: teen and up Karen just catches the elevator before the doors close, someone from marketing and two of the writers from the political section nodding in greeting to her, when her phone chirps again. The last thing she expects Frank to send is a picture. A giggle bursts forth before she can clasp a hand over her mouth.A tiny gray pit bull pup, no bigger than five pounds if she had to guess, stares with a line of sight directed just above the camera with bright eyes and a blurry, half-open mouth. Caught mid-yawn or mid-yap, she can't be sure. Not that it matters, though, since the dog is the most adorable thing she's seen in weeks. Maybe months.

@sincerelydayyy for @porpentinygoldstein and a spot of mistletoe [ao3] | rated: teen and up On the 24th of December Karen Page receives a note, not sure what she's expecting from Frank Castle she follows the address and ends up spilling truths featuring a spot of mistletoe.

@spacefoxen for @clarkebellamy “you have it. You have everything. So hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?”

@thefudge for @eklixio  your hands are cold, your hands are warm [ao3] | rated: teen and up There’s also nothing to do in the summer, no momentum, no purpose. She feels adrift in this tiny apartment, typing words into a document that very few will actually read. Fighting the good fight is long and arduous and thankless.

@queensofthekastle for @karen-pagee after all not so alone [ao3] | rated: general audiences Frank and Karen find each other on Christmas Eve, following the events of The Punisher. 

@thevampirecat for @frankcastle what we find in the shadows [second tumblr post] [ao3] | rated: mature He doesn't know what he did to deserve her; what she sees in him that makes her love him almost as fiercely as he does her. There are times that it doesn't feel real and then there are other times when it feels like it's the only true thing in the world, and the thought of losing her is too much for him to bear. But she said she'd stay. She said she'd stay forever. And that has to be enough. It has to.

@wasleichtes/ @wasleichtesdraws for @obeyyourheart  two dead men

@whentheyskyequakes for @ntasharomanvs where I can sing you to sleep all night [two] [ao3] | rated: not rated "Don't bother with the sheets," she calls out, gaze not leaving the porcelain of her sink. "We can just . . . share the bed, huh? Just one night. I don't want you being uncomfortable." — Or, it all sort of happened and now Karen can’t really get rid of Frank even if she wanted to. Spoiler: she doesn’t.

@ejunkiet for @uncledefender wide-eyed (and so damn caught in the middle) “We’re going to take these, yeah, and I’m going to show you how to use ‘em. All of ‘em.”

@kastlenetwork for @queensofthekastle Go tell that long tongue liar Go and tell that midnight rider Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter Tell ‘em that God’s gonna cut 'em down Tell 'em that God’s gonna cut 'em down

@sarma for @bisexualmicro “How far down this road of violence, of revenge, do you go before you’re ripped apart?” 

@raquel-draws for @chelseamischief Frank’s after consists of visits to his family, a puppy named max and coffee dates with Karen.

@tacosdecanasta for @kastleplease I try to hide it but I’m only lying to myself.

@kastlenetwork for @ohmypreciousgirl and I know that I feel better about myself when you look at me like I’m pure gold and I know that I believe in myself when you say that I’ve inspired you because I, I inspire you?

@sarma for @kastlequill she’s got the sun in her eyes

[prixmiumarchive]

Rosemary, Verbena, Winona :D

Rosemary: what cartoons did you grow up with?

I watched reruns of things that came on Cartoon Network mostly. The first show I remember really “discovering” that had a major impact on my life was the Sailor Moon dub. After that, it was Digimon which was the first show I had Higher Than Original Rating headcanons for. The Lion King was the first film I saw in theaters and I was really into it.

Verbena: playlist for your life? 

Wow this is an ambitious question. I guess I’ll go with things that have been most important lately? Other than the DCTV and Expanse OSTs which I listen to a lot. I’m gonna pick like 10 in no particular order.

1. Hoodie - Hey Violet - I’m obsessed with this song for some reason? My friend @thethirteenthhouse​ made me this great playlist of music recs recently, and I got to this one and just listened to it like 200 times this month. I’d heard of the band before, but listening to this song made me start listening to that album a lot. Also, like fuck, the aesthetic of their music videos gets to me (although I don’t know why because it feels very idealized high-school-y at times and I am sort of horrified by high school now more than I was as a teenager lol). Link to the video.

Favorite Lyric: I can’t keep your love / I can’t keep your kiss / Gave you everything and all I got was this --

2. Praying - Kesha - I already talked about this song in my last ask from this ask meme. I just fell in love with this song the first time I heard it, and it has never faded. I just think it is such a powerful and important message about forgiveness and moving on and what to do if what something did to you was unforgivable. It is beautiful because it never equivocates about what it’s about, and the way Kesha performs it is just so raw and honest. It reminds me of several fictional characters I love which is often high on my criteria list for reasons to like something, but this song is also deeply personal for me.

I guess I talk about it less than I used to, but a lot of my life story so far (and, you know, more uncomfortably what feels like a lack of one) stems from the aftermath of a very short-lived but life-altering and worldview-shattering relationship with a boy in high school. Then more recently, the first hope I’d had of that kind of realigning itself and healing in terms of a romantic prospect was pretty casually and quietly shattered in a way that, in some sense, hurts more badly than abuse and coercion at the hands of what I now recognize was a disturbed and neglected teenager. I’m angrier about this more recent experience even if it was technically “less” abusive. It was a stronger break in trust that was negotiated and given, so I’m still this boiling kind of pissed off when I think about it, which is a mood I think really shines in this song and its performance.

This song just.... grapples with this really complicated feeling of caring about someone who abused you but learning to do so in a way that is no longer justifying, no longer equivocating, no longer excusing, and no longer hoping that it will ‘get better’ with you in the picture. It is acknowledging that you have a right to your experience and to tell whatever truth about it you want because you know the truth and won’t let them trick you out of your own perception anymore. It acknowledges that maybe you loved this person, maybe you currently love or currently hate them, but you can still find a way - either way - to wish the best for them and not to let a wish for vengeance make you bitter. This song is bitter and vengeful, but it is also triumphant. The revenge it seeks is simply in being honest about an experience and the person someone currently is. It doesn’t demonize or dehumanize the abuser, which might seem like a kindness undeserved, but it is an important kindness for the sake of one’s own humanity and one’s own perception of other people going forward. It doesn’t let the person get a cop-out because they were a monster. It doesn’t let them hide behind a boogie-man mask. It lashes out in a way that is perhaps even more frowned upon because it doesn’t excuse a person’s (or a man’s, let’s be honest about the context but it could apply to women too) villainous and wicked actions because of something innate to them which cannot be changed. It allows for the possibility of forgiveness, for change, and therefore insists that it is the abuser’s job to take responsibility and to change their ways, and at the same time it does not place the onus on the abused to be the one who enacts or grants that forgiveness. It just just one of the most powerful things I’ve ever heard on coping with being an abuse survivor of abuse that, at the time, felt voluntary or asked-for, and I love it with all my heart. It will probably be one of my favorite songs forever. This video is also the bomb.

Favorite Lyric #1: I’ll bring thunder / I’ll bring rain / When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

Favorite Lyric #2: Sometimes, I pray for you at night / Someday, may you’ll see the light / Oh, some say in life you’re gonna get what you give / But some things only God can forgive

3. Break My Heart - Hey Violet (again, sorry for patterns) - This song feels like a silly favorite when I’m not in the right mood for it. It’s a break-up song, so the literal interpretation of the lyrics is pretty exclusively for fictional characters for me, but it also feels like this song that speaks to a certain kind of frustration and anger that I feel sometimes that it touches in a way that other songs don’t. It’s cathartic. It’s fun and sort of punk-pop-y in a way that makes me feel like I’m letting it out without hurting anything.

Personally, I can’t help that it reminds me of a relationship that was more platonic than romantic but which was really complicated and blurry for a while, then was nonexistent. This relationship has since healed back into something that is kind of doable. I’m glad it didn’t end forever, but I also fear that it’ll never feel as big and real as it once did. I love the person I’m talking about dearly, but it’s still a part of my history in the past couple of years that also colors my emotional health and worldview, so yeah. Also the night I realized we were probably going to have to let Rudy go back (which we did), I listened to this song over and over to block out or at least buffer the absolute tidal wave of misery that seemed relentless a few weeks ago.

On a relating-it-to-characters or just aspirational things for myself, I also think that it’s really cool that it sort of has this dissonance between its sound and its content. It also seems like it has a speaker/singer who’s not being entirely honest with the person she’s addressing. It has this very puffed-up kind of vibe that seems a little childish, endearing, defiant attitude of “Well fine, if you want to go ahead,” that is clearly not entirely genuine but that is no less a little bit brave. Even the ways in which this attitude seems doomed when looked at from an objective and calm standpoint are part of what make it a bit precious. Basically, it’s this steeling oneself, ripping the bandaid off, fake-it-til-you-make-it anthem for me and fictional people whose angst I find cathartic. Also this is the video that made me think all of Hey Violet’s stuff was probably not for People My Age, but I still love it. Kind of has this Sofia Coppola vibe to me without all her bullshit? That heart-shaped pinata and the baseball bat bit is like one of my favorite Aesthetic things I’ve seen ever. Also I love how she literally looks like she’s sobbing sometimes and it matches up with the sound of her vibrato.

Favorite Lyric: It’s like a test, it’s like a game / To see how much I can take / I’m curious to live and learn / So light me up and let me burn / Tell me you’ve never loved me / Tell me that it wasn’t real / Just say you found somebody else / I want to know the way it feels / Tell me you’ve never loved me / Tell me it was just a lie / I want to feel the pain / I want to see the light

4. Fuqboi - Hey Violet (let’s finish with them I guess, haha) - This song needs to be required listening/reading for every single girl on the planet who is even slightly romantically oriented toward boys/men. It is hilarious, but it has some really stinging truths about boys/men who are the products of their culture/toxic masculinity/etc. It’s really fun to feel like you’re insulting and condemning the right subsection of men without writing off men who are willing to grow, learn, empathize, and feel unfairly in a way that only furthers a stereotype and agenda of painting men as heartless and entirely useless and incapable of the previously-listed things. That kind of “misandry” literally has become, in my opinion, almost a movement that does only deepen the mire of toxic masculinity. This, however, is exactly the right type of #misandry that is cathartic and beautiful and fun. A lyric video here that maybe contains one or two errors.

Favorite Lyric: There’s this cute guy down my street / I always wanted to meet / So I went creeping around on his socials / In all the selfies he takes, his head is tilted the same / Oh yeah, and his favorite hashtag is #beastmode

5. She Used to be Mine - Sara Bareilles - This song is much more melancholy than the songs on this list so far. It’s hopeful but kind of feels a bit more like a self-pity song. That’s not to say that the lyrics themselves are self-pitying in their conclusion. Lately, my job is kind of hurting me, and my best friend’s job worries me on her behalf, so I really relate to it even though the Waitress references occasionally make it highly specific. It also is a really beautiful song, I think, about the transition between being, like, in your early 20s and feeling enchanted by adulthood and the challenges of it even if they hurt and then getting in your late-20s and beyond and feeling a little bit afraid of the loss of youth and stuff. Here’s a lyric video. 

Favorite Lyric: It’s not easy to know / I’m not anything like I used to be / Although it’s true / I was never attention’s sweet center / But I still remember that girl / She’s imperfect, but she tries / She is good, but she lies / She is hard on herself / She is broken and won’t ask for help / She is messy, but she’s kind / She is lonely most of the time / She is all of this mixed up and based in a beautiful pie / She is gone, but she used to be mine

The songs after the above on this list are less deeply personal (and Hoodie just is because I feel it so viscerally even though I don’t super relate to it - maybe it’s envy of people who can) and more, like, “this reminds me of a fandom thing” right now or “this sounds cool” so the tone will change.

6. Haunted Heart - WILD - Some random song I found on spotify that is #reylo and several other shippy vibes. It’s more ambient than anything else, but it can literally apply to a lot o fictional relationships we obsess over. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: As the shadows dance across the room / I pretend that in the dark it’s you / It’s all I have

7. Go - Grimes ft. Blood Diamonds - Honestly this song has been lowkey in my head for days, and I wanted an excuse and reminder to listen to it again. I just recently fell down another fiction/fandom rabbit hole in The Expanse, and the only part I could hear in my head was the chorus before the dub-steppy drop, but my brain for some reason was summoning and suggesting it as a song that would fit my vibe about this show. Sure enough, I am feeling it for The Expanse, and it makes me wish I could still make fanvids. The actual verse lyrics are more Miller @/Julie than anything else I’ve seen so far, so if you ship that a lot then maybe this is even more your song for this than it is mine, but for me what I like about it is the sense of this personal connection being very important but kind of interrupted by all of this noise. Maybe that’s me reading too much into the design of the song, but I love that the chorus cuts itself off until its last repetition. “When I go can I go with--” and then finally “--you?” Audio video here.

I don’t need to do a favorite lyric because it’s got so few but it’s the way they parse “When I go can I go with you?” through the music.

8. Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld, Alesso (ft. Florida Georgia Line) - I honestly feel a bit conflicted by how much I like this song given that it’s got heavy involvement from bro-country artists Florida Georgia Line, but I like what I like. As far as an association goes, it’s like my sort of heartbreaking Lauriver song honestly. I really like the idea that they could have been happy together, might’ve been soulmates in another world as is implied, but that it’s sort of irrevocably fractured in DCTV Earth 1. Now, if only they had let me have that, Olicity, and Merlance, I would have been happy forever. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: Chased that high too far, too fast / Picket white fence but we paint it black

9. The Night We Met - Lord Huron - The first time I saw some lyrics to this song it was on this edit for this sort of maybe American Civil War Era fandom I have never identified or known what the heck it was. But when I saw them, I had to know what this song was, and I knew we’d be in love forever. And indeed, I love this song. It’s just so simple and sort of that new-folksy thing that my kind of a hipster ass loves. I love it for fandom and shippy reasons because it touches on one of those hard-to-quantify and only slightly less-hard-to-qualify things that I love fanfiction and headcanon to tackle. That thing is this messy, awful (and awesome - we’re focusing on the word awe here, sublimnity) feeling that comes from having loved someone in an intimate, sexual way but then watching that totally and completely vulnerable bond erode into something where you can no longer touch that person in any sense of the word. It’s a terrible topic full of angst but it’s so much a human thing that happens and I love it. (Of course, in my fanfiction and roleplay and shit, I want it fixed, but give me all of it.) It also does that thing with unconventional but technically comprehensible syntax that I love.

Favorite Lyric: Take me back to the night we met / And then I can tell myself what the hell I’m supposed to do / And then I can tell myself not to ride along with you / I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you / Take me back to the night we met

10. Ophelia - The Lumineers - On the topic of folksy-or-something feeling music that feels like it’s touching on weird, underbelly human emotions that no one knows how to describe or wrestle with, there’s this song. It is one of those songs that makes you want to dance in the rain life throws at you. It sounds happy or melancholy depending on when you’re listening to it and what you’re bringing to it, and that is probably why it has been on Spotify’s “Your Top Songs” compilation it makes for me at year’s end for two years in a row. And gosh the instrumentation. I know nothing about instrumentation technically speaking, but gosh. It feels like going to church, driving down a country road, being in a bar, and crying your heart out in a bathtub all at once. This is probably the most playlist-for-life song on here because it is just really one of those songs that it feels like you could carry in your pocket to soundtrack a lot of moments in your life when you’re quiet, observant, and just paying attention to it. It’s not really about anything, but it kind of feels like it’s about everything. Lyric video.

Favorite Lyric: And I don’t feel nothing at all / And you can’t feel nothing small

Winona: favorite quote? 

I actually answered this one earlier, but let’s see if I can come up with another answer. My friend @morethanprinceofcats​ did a cute thing I forgot to do where she talked about text posts that come to her mind and sort of get stuck in her head, and I’ve got those too.

One I really should refer to more often is this one: http://burninglianyu.tumblr.com/post/169380411461/angel-ani-setheverman-what-is-the-january

And for the part of me that occasionally wants to become a surreal, non-human entity that dwells in the space before the alarm clock goes off and never has to move past it, this one: http://burninglianyu.tumblr.com/post/167821073666/sarah531-the-first-time-i-ever-heard-take-me-to

Oh, and I have no idea how it didn’t come to mind earlier but, like, the entire novel Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov? I always feel like there is a certain kind of shame-narrative attached to genuinely liking that book. Sometimes it’s for good reason like people who are using it to romanticize CSA beyond what the book already does as a means of justification. However, when I think the text is really read honestly and compassionately it does a lot of those things that I was saying above the song “Praying” does for me. It does so in absolutely gorgeous prose that certainly is worthy of a murderer with a fancy prose style.

I think I love it because of the way it shows the villain as protagonist and gives him this beautiful way with words that forces you to understand his point of view while conscience and even the foreword charges you never to condone it. I also think that its aesthetic quality and attention to detail of, I guess, mid-century (1900s) America and the trappings of suburbia and the places that live alongside interstates just enchants me. There’s something about that part of the description that reminds me of feeling some kind of visceral mix of pleasure and discomfort that comes from just existing in the summertime for me on a day spent outside. It reminds me of something and some time I lived through in the last 90s that I think has since passed into oblivion -- the experience of living in an America before the internet and cell phones’ prevalence or something. Suburban anonymity and the creepiness of that but also the strange, transient beauty of plastic, neon, and trying to get anywhere in a car across this absurdly big country.

The quote that came to mind this time was this one (warning for mention of child sexual abuse):

We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing. And I catch myself thinking today that our long journey had only defiled with a sinuous trail of slime the lovely, trustful, dreamy, enormous country that by then, in retrospect, was no more to us than a collection of dog-eared maps, ruined tour books, old tires, and her sobs in the night — every night, every night — the moment I feigned sleep. 

Basically it just encapsulates that vibe I was talking about for me except, of course, for the banal horror of that list item.

Also, pairing the words “rust and stardust.”

[itsnebulous]

BOND THROUGH BANDS

Well I know when you're around ‘cause I know the sound I know the sound, of your heart... bzzz bzz bzz

I woke up by the annoying vibration of my alarm, I checked the time and good lord my alarm has been buzzing for about half an hour now! I don't remember snoozing it off but damn my train for London leaves in 20 minutes. My earphones are tangled all over my neck. I could literally hear my mum inside my head saying “You should not sleep with your earphones on Bailee!” I'm sorry mum but your loving daughter just did. I must have fallen asleep again while on my phone last night. It has become my habit now to pass out while scrolling through my socials, I mean that's just pure talent. Music is my thing but not in the way that I'm great at instruments. It's just that I love listening to bands.

As I hurry to the bathroom to take a shower, I tripped over my sketchbooks. I don't remember my flat being this messy. Dirty clothes are piling on the chair beside my disastrous closet, books are everywhere on the dusty carpet. The only thing in order are my shelves of books and music albums which is also now getting dusty. Surprisingly the kitchen area is clean, maybe because I am always out at the city to eat out with my classmates after school. I got out of the shower with ten minutes to spare. I have no time for my indecisiveness on what clothes to wear so I pulled off my go-to outfit. I tucked my favourite yellow sweater on my jeans and put on my worn out Converse then grabbed my coat that is hung on the back of my door before sprinting to the elevator.

As I got out on the streets, tourists are everywhere, typical for Brighton though even if it's freezing cold. But today is warmer, the sun is actually out which is very unusual for December. I'm almost near at the station when Lily texted me:

“BAILEE WHERE ARE U?!”

But before I can even type my answer, she called

“Sis the train is about to leave in two minutes” I can imagine with her tone how pissed she is at me.

“I’m almost there. I’m like twenty steps away”

“That better be not a lie”

“I swear it's not- and oh she already hang up”.

We made it to London without having a fight. She is already used to my shenanigans on my morning routines which always make me late. Lily is just pressed that I missed breakfast with her at the cafe.

“Why on Earth are you late this time my beloved friend? Bet you had your concert again while in the shower”, she said sarcastically.

“Oh stop it, you know I can't miss my singing ritual whilst in the shower”, I teased her.

“Also, I'm not late duh I made it exactly at 8 am”. Lily has always been the early bird kind of friend during meet ups and I am most certainly the buzzer beater type.

Roaming around the city of London is always my favourite. I have lived here three years ago when I first came to England yet every time I walk along its streets and pass by its shops, I keep falling in love like it's the first time. The telephone booths are still class even though no one uses it. Everything about this city is so aesthetic. Lily and I spent half of the day going through some of the places London is known for as if we are tourists.

“It's ridiculous that I've lived in London most of my life but still haven't ridden this until now". We are now inside a carriage on top of the London eye.

“ I can't say the same. I mean I lived here only a few years back and I even barely go out then but it's never too late to be a tourist you know”.

The view on top is amazing, cityscape and sunset is picture perfect. I just wish that I am seeing this with Matty right now if he hadn't left me. I guess this is it again, I have fallen on my whirlpool of grief that keeps dragging me down. It's been years but why didn't I learn to handle the pain.

2 years ago...

London street is busy as ever yet the holiday spirit is very alive. Every one on the city is on their layered coats as it is freezing cold. It's two more weeks until Christmas and the shops are all packed with those who are gift shopping. I am probably the most loneliest person in London because I actually have no one to celebrate Christmas with as I just moved. I have Lily and our friends but they’re all going home for the holidays.

Today is the last day of school before our Christmas break so we planned a night out at Winter Wonderland.

“Here's the thing Bailee, a Christmas holiday of a typical London resident wouldn't be complete without a night here", Millie said as we walk toward the entrance of the giant Christmas carnival. Millie is my street smart friend who always got my back the first time I got in London.

“Really?”, and as I ask this I confirmed what Millie just said, the place is crowded and sparkly with its lights. The people are in their high spirits as they are in queue for the rides. I could never be that person who is excited for the rides. Before I even know it, my friends are already in line calling me to join them.

“BAILEE AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US?”, Josh screamed.

“ I'D RATHER WATCH YOU FROM HERE. I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.”, I answered. The music is getting loud now from what I hear from the people passing by is from the beer tent.

“ARE YOU SURE???” asked Lily looking concerned.

“YEAHHHH, MEET YOU AT THE BEER TENT MAYBE?”

I barely heard their answer but I'm sure I heard Millie say “oh she'll do just fine, she can manage now". Thanks Millie for your confidence but I am actually anxious going alone inside the beer tent. But I am eager to see what's going on in there because I can hear a band playing.

There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls ‘Cause I'd fall again.

“Holy cow they are singing a Blossoms' song" , I whispered to myself out of excitement.

I made my way in front of the crowd. The people inside the tent are all chattery and loud but I could only hear the song playing, my favourite song. I caught the vocalist' attention maybe because of my aggressiveness to get in front. I got lost on his gaze, his deep blue eyes melted me, the curls of his hair is so soft. It is their last song to play. After they played, he went to sit beside me which is weird because we don't even know each other.

“Hi” he said shyly.

A cute band vocalist who is a stranger just talked to me, how am I supposed to reply. “Hello?”

“You sound so confused" he said giggling.

“Uhmmm yes? I am confused because a stranger who just sung my favourite song is talking to me out of context”, I blurted out.

“Oh I actually approached you because of your reaction while we were playing ‘your favourite song’ "

“Why so?”

“Because it's so obvious that you really like the song and you were the only one here who seems to appreciate it. Does it remind you of someone?”

“Honestly no, I just really love it. The tune, its lyrics is just perfect for me.”

“Guess we are the same then".

After my weird moment with that guy, my friends finally came to have a beer. Mr. Stranger was about to leave when I asked his name.

“It's Matty”

That's how Matty and I started. After that night, he invited me to watch shows and gigs. The drive back home is always my favourite. We take detours just to spend more time talking about each other with good music on the background.

“Cityscapes are just beautiful, aren't they?” I said while looking out the window.

“Not as beautiful and bright as you”

“Stop being so cute please”, that's the only reaction I could do with his smooth cheesy lines.

As months of hanging out together goes by, we fall deeper and deeper with each other. Matty gave my room a make over. Ever since I moved in London my flat doesn't look like home so he gave it an artistic touch. He painted the walls, built me a desk and shelves. We also hung posters of our favourite bands. After redecorating my room, it now feels home and cosy. He stayed until midnight so that we could listen to the new album of the 1975 together.

“I guess this could be our new jam then" he said with enthusiasm in his eyes.

“I love the idea", I answered.

I knew he was already sleepy when he said goodnight before driving back home. I didn't want him to drive anymore because it's already late but he insisted because he's worried about his sister so I let him.

“Call me when you get home ok? Drive safely”

“Ok I love you” he said.

I don't recall the next months after. It is as blurry as when my tears won't stop falling for him. Matty have left me. Matty never returned my calls not because he's scared of falling again for me. He never returned my calls because he's gone. How I wish we could've said our goodbyes. I should've said I love you too while I still can. But it is all too late now.

Matty is the reason why I moved to Brighton. Everything about London reminds me of him especially at this time. He once asked me to ride the London eye with him but I refused because I was scared and anxious.. What I did not know is could never see this view with him anymore. I should have said yes back then but my anxiety ate me. Up until now his memory still haunts me even in Brighton. I never had the courage to clean up my room because I keep remembering when he decorated my room. Now I can finally say that ‘There's a Reason Why (I Never Returned Your Calls) by Blossoms reminds me of someone.

Before I even get drowned by my whirlpool of grief, Lily brought me back to reality.

“Bailee are you alright?”

“Yeah I think I am"

I still find parts of you. In the corners of my bedroom. Someday comes too soon. The radio plays our favourite tune again.

[thesinglesjukebox]

ALY & AJ - TAKE ME [6.54] Poptimist high school reunion...

Tara Hillegeist: I wish I could say I enjoyed E•MO•TION; I found it flat and unengaging as a whole experience, but I'm really digging this new b-side from those sessions anyway, now that I've got some time and distance and it's not attached to a whole album -- wait, why are you giving me that look? [7]

Joshua Copperman: Considering Aly and AJ are totally different people than they were a decade ago, it's better to treat this as a new artist than as a Potential Comeback Song. Verdict: in a vacuum, it's a lot of fun! I'll even admit that it's a better Carly Rae Jepsen song than "Cut To The Feeling," if not quite to the level of something transcendent like "Your Type." To be fair, the production on "Take Me", by Mike Elizondo, is much more complicated than much of E•MO•TION, which is both a great thing (love the random drum fills that pop up everywhere) and sometimes unnecessary (that whole delayed-beat gimmick gets very repetitive). The lyrics are a lot of fun, but moments like the distorted "first you gotta ask me out" at the bridge are needlessly edgy for what's mostly a casual bop.  [7]

Katie Gill: "But Katie," you say, "this is just a generic electropop jam that's yet another retread of 1980s synthpop! Every electropop group out there thinks that they should use this 1980s synthpop aesthetic!" To which I say, yes, you're right, this is treading water and not bringing anything new to the table, but I'm a sucker for this nonsense, at least it's a well-crafted retread, and I've had "Potential Breakup Song" stuck in my head since 2008 so WHO GIVES A DAMN, new Aly & AJ, let's all celebrate. [7]

Alfred Soto: The point at which rattling synth-pop curdles from pastiche to parody, some might say. Yet "Take Me" is to Carly Rae Jepsen (or Tegan and Sara) what "The Glow of Love" was to Chic. Once again, I credit the charisma of the performers. So they almost get away with it. [6]

Will Adams: There's no chorus. There's no chorus! Just a sinkhole of windswept '80s lite rock that, no matter how explosive it is here, has reached a saturation point amongst so many bubbling under pop acts. St. Lucia's "Dancing On Glass" managed the beat-late drop better, MUNA injected the modern flourishes better, and Carly Rae Jepsen conveyed the emotion better. [4]

David Sheffieck: Not only is this better than a reunion song from a mid-range Radio Disney contributor has any right to be, it's an easy qualifier as one of the best of the ongoing, apparently-inexhaustible '80s (or "'80s") trend. Aly & AJ's synths may be a bit familiar, but if the opening chords start them at a deficit then the Tears for Fears chime of the guitar and stadium-filling echo on the snare are inspired enough to make up for it. And the lyric would manage if they didn't: it's a demand, a plea, an unsuppressed urge that erupts into the over-driven, staccato shriek of the song's hook. That hook is unique, and uniquely arresting; I'll happily sit through another year of MOR synthpop for a bit like the pseudo-Clearmountain Pauses surrounding it. They're vertiginous moments, as if the song needs to regain its balance before pushing forward, pulsing and distorted and sparklingly irresistible. [10]

Claire Biddles: Love it as I do, this warm '80s synth template has been filled by so many acts in the past year that it takes real charisma, or a banging chorus, or preferably both, to keep me interested. "Take Me" doesn't have either, and the screeching, try-hard vocals of Aly and/or AJ are at odds with their chill surroundings: a juxtaposition that's grating rather than subversive. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: Wandering synth pads over limp drums and a suddenly sliding bass slipping through the ghostly parts of a decently written song about going out with someone cool. [5]

Katherine St Asaph: Closest thing to a new Sky Ferreira single it looks like we're going to get. [6]

Ashley John: "It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others. So it happens that when I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and the hunger for it ... and then the warmth and richness and fine reality of hunger satisfied ... and it is all one." (The Art of Eating by M. F. K. Fisher.) "I know that you would want it/ If I could sink my teeth into you" ("Take Me" by Aly & AJ.) [7]

Stephen Eisermann: Aly & AJ won me over so many years ago with their iconic "Potential Breakup Song," so I came in ready to enjoy this. Thankfully, these two didn't disappoint. The interesting structure of the song -- one that relies primarily on the sisters' delivery and the music to sell the story of a woman's internal monologue during a far too long "talking phase" -- tries its best to carry the song all the way to excellence, but the lack of any concrete details do make it difficult to fully immerse in the song's universe. Still, their delivery is cold enough to fell their hurt and see the resentment on the horizon; a beautiful, heartbreaking picture is painted, however blurry, and sometimes filling in the details with pieces from your memory is  more cathartic anyway.  [7]

Alex Clifton: As one of maybe thirty people who have obsessively checked Aly & AJ's Wikipedia page for the past, err, nine years to see when they were ever going to release a new album -- yeah, we got the gorgeous, haunted "Hothouse", but that never led to an official LP -- I was ecstatic to hear that they'd be returning this fall. I tried so hard not to get my hopes up unnecessarily, but it turns out I needn't have worried at all. "Take Me" is fully engrossing. I can't focus on anything else as I listen to it. Aly & AJ have taken a page out of Carly Rae Jepsen's 80s-inspired E•MO•TION songbook rather than Taylor Swift's glossed-over pop, which pays off tremendously. The verses are lyrically Spartan, but as soon as AJ yells "WHEN YOU GONNA TAKE ME OUT?" I'm caught up in the moment, shot with the same desperation. Like Jepsen before them, the girls cut right to the feeling and leave me needing more. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Is there anything quite like the process of courtship? No, not with a person, but with a song. When I first heard "Take Me," its chorus genuinely surprised me -- the constantly shifting synthesizers and dramatic drum fills were technicolor lights flashing before my eyes, compounding on the shock I had already felt from the go-for-broke "WHEN YOU GONNA TAKE ME OUT!" It was a good first impression to say the least, so I decided to investigate further. In an effort to fully understand what the song had to offer, I spent numerous hours listening, dancing, and singing along to it in various settings. I've become less obsessed recently, primarily listening to it during my work commute. Those listens have become crucial, though, and it's only now that I've begun to really appreciate it. If there's anything I've learned from my time spent with perfume, it's that I need to be willing to submit myself to art, to let it become a part of my identity beyond a mere signpost of personal taste. And as such, listening to "Take Me" has become an essential part of my morning ritual. And the joy that overflows from "Take Me"'s coquettish vocals and lyrics have shaped how I (want to) act throughout the day. Last Friday, I was standing near the back of my classroom and inadvertently started singing the first lines of "Take Me" while doing a little dance. One of my students looked up and said, "What are you doing Mr. Kim?" "Oh you know," I chuckled, "I'm just in a really good mood." [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[wnmwork-blog]

Finally getting started

Stream mix up:

Well the start to this semester was honestly a mess. From stream switching to making a group to that group breaking up then unsuccessful stream switching Its been an interesting start to this semester for sure. I originally was in Wednesday stream but tried switching to Tuesday steam, but that was unsuccessful so now I’m back at square one with Wednesday stream. I think?

This semesters definitely been more self taught from the start. First week was for sure something I didn’t expect. And in terms of what I want to do I think I have a fair idea of exactly what that is. When I was part of a group we wanted to focus on lights and the human psyche and how it works and how we could play with it. So I guess I still would like to incorporate that but focus on mental health and social media whilst dwelling into the human psyche. But deciding how I would like to deliver has been a challenge. For me to develop an idea I like to ask myself questions just to get the ball rolling. Like whats the purpose and how can you help other with this? Because I always find myself doing projects that don’t have that much depth as I prefer to be on the more visual side of things.

So what is it exactly I want to do:

After looking at pinterest, and continuously looking through multiple projects a couple in particular stood out to me. As I’ve mentioned before playing with light was something I wanted to particularly emphasize on. And I guess through looking at projects similar to light i came across holograms and different projects to do with it. I still remember going to a communication design exhibition years ago and seeing a holograms through multiple pictures on display. For some reason it stood out to me more than the other projects on display. Its a media that I haven’t really thought about working with in the past but it is for sure something I would like to play with. 

SO in saying that I would like to to a project that revolves around self awareness when it comes to social media and our mental health. I would like to take this opportunity to really bring to our attention how harmful social media can be as I personally think I have fallen victim to it and its affects on my own mental health. So yeah I intend to look into the effects social media has on our mental health as well as dive into the human psyche and really dwell into what makes us or what provokes emotions or feeling on top of that but that’s more minor thing but still connects to my main focus i think. 

I guess after getting more of an understanding of the topics I can incorporate how we can treat it in a form that’s both visually and aesthetically pleasing to suit the taste of our generation  and maybe looking into relaxing soothing alternatives that make us look at what we’re doing and what we are feeling as well as why.  

I want to create mental health awareness and its connection to social media with holographic or light media. 

I hope through looking at examples I can get a grip of if i want to work with something holographic or work with a light display show. Both sound really ideal in terms of the “how” i would like to touch the audiences with. It’s just a matter of which can deliver my “why” more. And i know for now my why, what, and how all seem blurry. I think I'm on the path to having something quite different that I've never worked with before. Specially with the media i have in mind.

I know It’ll be challenging and hard especially since I’ll be working on this alone. But i guess that’s the challenge with BCT. is that sometimes you get to be able to work in a group, bring minds together and really bring something to life. Or sometime u plan something but that all goes to the bin and you end up having to work alone fourth week into the semester. That’s alright its still quite early that i can pick myself up and make something amazing.

[reimaginebykteodesigns]

Hello everyone so its been a while since I wrote on this but since i started it I might as well keep up with it. So The reason I haven’t posted each project on this like I usually do is the projects we do are quite consistent and we have to write a book on it anyway so I thought I would do a short run down of what ive been doing during my time at gsa.

So for starters we did 3 projects of the gradual course of 4 months this consisted of a “cloud project” which involved literally making or designing something which fits the description “head in the clouds” and getting people to relax… yeah conceptual but fun. We ended up making an app that creates sounds of hat the weather would be according to your mood.

weather playlist

Next we did a photography project which was fun as each group had different themes our team had Arcades and Amusements and we visited a location and made relationships with the owners and observed activity and interaction. The last project we had to minimise the passport and again each group had a different topic surrounding passports or border. The order of weeks were 2-4-7. Since I haven’t worked in a group in a long time it was strange to adjust but you tend to get into it. Since thi was the first officually international group I worked with it was intresting to map out locations of amusements and arcades and structure thm in a “police map” i feel like this was a great way to traget our location ticking off what location works and what doesnt and also if arcades exist in this area.

We visited a lot of amusement such as bowling arcades and it was interesting talking to the people who enjoy gaming as they say it gives them a sense of place, and escapism and some people have came for a night or just to hang out with friends were as there are some who have been going everyday for 20 years. This was rather interesting

!

However unfortunately we ere unable to go back their due to security reasons of Hollywood Bowl behg a chain brand and we needed permission from higher management and ethics forms were just too much faff! So we began to search eventually we managed to find a place called R-cade who were super cool super friendly and speaking to them and learning about what they were about seemed interesting as well. However linking back to our “journalistic” task the idea was to create this story naturally we took this literally and listened to the people who told us this story of a girl who felt very anxious and new to the city of glasgow, so in order to make friends she decided to join this cosy place play games and meet people creating a sense of home. Therefore we latched onto this story anf through photography we thought to re-act this. The photos turned out great but perhaps being conceptual was not the way forward especially ethnographically.

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After doing this we consulted as a group all the images we had an re visited the place until we had our defined story as we learned perhaps it is not about random,y taking pictures its about physically talking to the people their and the bonds they share with each other through retro gaming which spans over generations as they take their kids to this R-cade but also meets other parents who have experienced this way of life. So maybe pictures can enhance the experience we tell to provide this vibe and if its done naturally then even better so we decided this was a better direction because of going to events and talking to the parents and perhaps being part of the furniture which is pretty tough but after the 3rd week of interacting with this location i guess it becomes a second skin.

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Overall this project has taught to take a step back an observe the surrounding are, have a chat and understand their perspectives and perhaps see the world through there eyes.

Lastly for our very long and final semester 1 project was all about the passport pacifically for our group it was about the minimising the passport. Now i can see how this can be interpreted in a way like getting a ray gun and physically making it this passport microchip but for us it was so much more than this. For me i found it a slower process as this project certainly involved individual work of reading and desk research. Looking into things like the history or perhaps brexit or the security aesthetics all these things were very considerate or us to look into. Moreover on top of our individual work a lot of ethnography research and using actor network diagrams were discussed to enhance our research knowledge giving us perhaps a bit of depth in our studies… after all we are masters students. What was helpful sorting out reseah ws using EMT or swot analysis map separating things into History, Live/ experience, Opportunity, controveries

I find this a helpful way to organize your research even though it does look it but and organize mess it better out than in kinda like visual brain vomit!

Furthermore we had to interview people on what they think about privacy and trust as this was huge factor with the passport die to the amount of security features surrounding the passport like biometric data and uv threads and security chips. Perhaps its the case the government does not trust us an therefore we don’t trust them! We found mix in the area of having a digital passport since we have things like cloud technology and privacy policy and blockchain. A Lot of people complained about the system wanting something tangible and “real” and wanting to get through as quickly as possible and not look at “a blurry image of themselves” in the scanning machines!

Using this information and more mpas like an infinity or knowledge map helped us to narrow down our project

in the end we made a wearable tangible product which could be also a app on your phone if wearables dont tickle your fancy but essentially you import your passport details and just like magic it uploads onto the system eliminating your time on app,yking as well as passing the borders. So your details we found out is also kept for 3 months for security purposes but if your passport could make you aware of this in a terms and conditions for privacy similarly like a smart contract for blockchain would this make it more likely for passengers to travel like this?

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Overall I apologize if this seemed short but i just wanted to let everyone know what has been happening and perhaps providing a slight educated expernec. This semester i have learned a more doing approach in a more co-ed callabar learning off others and my experience be it pros and cons good and bad experiences working in groups and growing together as collaborative designers. I do believe everyone has different opinions on what design is or ehras how it should be but maybe this is a way of life, an experience an our job to enhance this experience and subjectively believe what we can do to change it through observing, understanding an acting upon those actions. These three steps is something i believe can be a way forward for us as designers but again it is entirely subjective to everyone.

Kimmy xxx

Life update: Doing Innovation and Service Design @GSA Part 1 Hello everyone so its been a while since I wrote on this but since i started it I might as well keep up with it.