#yeah that'll do lmao

[dreamwriter]

Freedom!!!

This is hardly related to my writing journey, but also kinda sorta? Or maybe I just want another topic so I can make a separate post to make up for over a year of inactivity here xD

So I've been reading this book (not gonna name it, but it's a classic) for the past... 2-3 years LMAO. It was part of the reading list for one of my uni classes but I never actually read it back then (hehe). During our move to a new apartment, there was barely anything set up in my room: no computer and no books EXCEPT this novel because it was packed separately with my uni stuff. Boredom and guilt (from never having read the book for class back then) plus the realisation that I could hardly call myself a literature major if I didn't read it made me pick it up.

And thus began a many-year-journey of torture that quite literally killed the reader in me and wiped one of my biggest hobbies right out of my life.

Reading has always been my greatest hobby and I'd always been a bookworm. The librarians at all my schools knew me, and I was rarely ever seen without a novel in my hand between classes. I could spend entire school holidays cooped up in my room reading because that's how much I loved it.

But it is no exaggeration when I say I hated this book so much that it literally made me distance myself from my hobby for years, even after I'd gotten a hold of new books I wanted to read. I told myself I wasn't allowed to read anything else until I finished this one, thinking that it'd be motivation enough for me to finish it quickly, however much I disliked it. But the result was that I just stopped reading altogether.

If I thought about reading, it had to be that book. And since I didn't wanna read that book, then I may as well not read at all. And so days turned to weeks turned to months turned to years, and the girl who adored the world of books all her life barely read more than a few short chapters in 2-3 years because she idiotically locked herself into this miserable spiral.

The book isn't even objectively bad. I'm aware that it's a huge classic. But on a personal level, I just did not enjoy it one bit no matter how hard I tried.

However, over the last two days, I grit my teeth and blasted through the remaining 60% of the book. No, it did not get good later on! xD I still very much disliked every chapter I forced myself to read, but I knew I had to get through it if I wanted to read all the new novels I'd bought during my recent trip back to Australia.

And as of today? I AM FREE. AT LONG LAST.

The relief and joy I felt when I finally closed that book and placed it onto my shelf (forever! D:<)... and the sheer happiness as I immediately reached for a book that I wanted to read.

And with a book that I actually want to read? I'm reading again! I spent the afternoon and evening reading alone in my room, just like old times! I've missed the smell of the paper, the excitement of stepping into a new world, and the momentum of turning a new page ;___;

It really feels like I've resurrected a huge part of what made me who I am. Rediscovering a hobby and rekindling my love for reading has washed away the guilt and sadness I've felt for the past two years every time I said that reading was my hobby but then remembered shamefully that I couldn't even finish a short novel.

But now it's finally over!!!

I've found the reader in me again, and with that, my love for the magical worlds that can only be found within the pages of a novel.

Does this relate to my writing journey? Not really LOL this blog is dreamwriter not dreamreader. But I'm hoping that rediscovering the joys of reading will help me rediscover some of my passion for writing, too.

Anyway, this post is more like a long ramble or a diary entry. But this is significant enough to me that I want to put it somewhere, and what better place to choose than the place where I document my own journey of creating stories that can hopefully also bring joy to fellow bookworms out there? ^^

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[kalitheinksimp]

I am ruining this post by self advertising. Commission me

[soupmanspeaks]

Michael Ao3 author AU walk with me here

"hey guys sorry I havent posted much on the Immortal and the Restless fic, I had to do this one errand my father sent me on, its actually a funny story; my dead sister actually possesed this big robot clown that killed her, and I had to like, put her scattered parts back together again, it was a whole thing, but yeah, her murder AI kind of just took over and she tricked me into being a meat suit, so that kind of sucked, and im actually organless atm, so sorry for slower updates, but it is what it is yk"

And then wayyyy later "heyyyyy what's up superstars, sorry for the long hiatus, my soul got put into a robot bear, but that's all taken care of, so chapter 27 soon :3"

[f-imaginings]

in terms of inspiration and such does it feel easier or more difficult to write as you inch closer and closer to weirdmageddon? or has it made no notable difference? you’ve been working on this story for so long so i imagine it must feel kinda strange to be getting so close to what might be the end of it!

-----------------

Another wonderful question!! You are so good at these!

I think my inspiration to write is more closely correlated to the comments and feedback I get for the story, so the more people who tell me they enjoy it, the more it inspires me to write, and I've had a wonderful abundance of attention since BOB so I am being spoiled every day by nice words. I think my drive to finish the fic is pretty sustainable at this point, and I'm already getting ideas for a sequel haha. Finishing the fic was my new years resolution (even though judging by past chapters, it's been taking roughly a month to churn each one out since they're so long and intricate) so it looks like sometime in the new year I'll likely finish the story, maybe around April or June depending on how I balance writing with my workload and social obligations. I'm determined to finish it though (so I can start a cathartic sequel hahah)

I think in terms of us being towards the end of the story though, I have noticed it's made a difference on how I plan out the chapters. In the past I had all the time in the world to build the story and relationships and take things in new imaginative directions, but with the end of the story on the horizon we're left with a limited amount of time to tie up all the loose plot threads. I am being a lot more deliberate with how I plan the chapters. I write notes about plot direction and what details to include for every chapter, and I find that with every chapter approaching the end I've been writing three lots of plot notes corresponding to each 'episode'. So there's the general overview of events from the show and what I want to include from Ford and Bill's perspective, and then there's the refined version where I drill down into what factors I want to explore for each POV (for example the notes for the next chapter include Kryptos' storyline, Ford's storyline and Bill's storyline) which really breaks down what plot beats happen in each POV, and then there's the order of the different plot points, so I can weave between the different POVs in a way that flows thematically and brings out the best contrast between the characters journey.

I try to pull together similar themes in each chapter too, so for example the last chapter had overarching themes (lmao I made myself laugh by saying the themes of chapter 61 were 'dogs' and 'what if my family secretly hates me' hahah) and then I try to place story beats from different POVs together in a way that the themes compliment or contrast each other - so for example in the next chapter the themes of finding purpose after being stripped of it will apply to characters we encounter during Kryptos' POV and during Ford's POV. I've got this planned out meticulously all the way to the end, but before I start each new chapter thats when my second and third plot plans come into place. There's just something about reading the work through again once it's been posted on ao3 that makes me realise what threads I want to pull into the next chapter and that means my second and third plots happen once the last chapter is posted. I also rewatch the show's episodes about a million times lmao and add to my notes about what little details I want to highlight and bring back from the old chapters, since this fic is technically canon divergent, not fully canon adjacent.

I get inspired all the time for this story though, from all kinds of places too. Lots of times from my work (since I work in a mental health org) or from therapy or my own reading. I attended a DSFV training session through work a few weeks ago and what I learned there gave me inspiration for how I want to tackle a possible redemption arc in a sequel, especially around cycles of violence and how it can relate to perpetrators. I'll talk about healthy relationships in my own therapy sessions, and I'll get inspired to work in stuff about relearning independence after codependency. I'll read a baller fanfic (usually from other fandoms since I've been saving myself to read all the billford fics after my fic is finished, because of that one time someone accused the fic of plagarism - but since most ppl have wised up to the fact that those claims were just one person being a big meany I've read one or two fics and there is some gold out there in the fandom!!! Like Theseus' Guide To Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat by @stump-not-found theres a few chapters out but I am loving the characterisation and how punchy the prose and stakes are!) and reading fic is a great inspiration, same with published works too, I'm currently reading Youthjuice by E K Sathue which does very interesting things with description.

Anywho sorry for the essay in response haha! You always ask such great questions jada! I just finished doing my second plot through for chapter 62 today too, what timing!

[ishikawayukis]

obviously they won't say anything about it because they only comment on things that are nonsensical, but even kcarats are mad about this collab so i do wonder if they'll end up saying anything or will just act stupid lmfao

[todayisafridaynight]

i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive

ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is

[flowerbloom-arts]

Some low-effort doodles because I've been thinking about Mymble Jr alot and just how much they watered her down in the 90s series. So I tried 'fixing' some scenes to make her atleast more expressive.

She and the Inspector would've been such a fun relationship if they just let them be themselves like in the comics (and books in Mymble's case), just, I dunno, they made her distinctly boring while they made the Inspector just a little extra silly and I think that's deeply unfair to Mymble. This is especially upsetting when they never shared the same panel in the comics besides 2 of them, and in one Mymble Jr is just standing there while Moomintroll does the talking.

[gomzdrawfr]

the agony of imperfections and lost

a prodigy once soared, melody adored with perfection now suffers with pieces and symphony left unfinished a silent pain with wrist betrayed each notes falter, with the end replaced by sniffles and pain

☾⋆⁺₊♫✩°｡

AU: pianist!Raven and piano technician!Price

between classes and lectures I've been doodling an AU for my cod oc Raven :] it's the first AU I've ever thought of for a very long time and I didn't start writing and drawing a few things until recently (my friends are huge enablers ah ha)

this AU is heavily inspired by the anime Your Lies in April so if this familiar that's why

Prodigy Raven who used to swoop every piano competition stopped participating one day due to various reasons.

She can no longer finish any pieces.

It starts off with pain, and then progresses into fits of spasms and shakes on her wrist.

That was however, not the main issue.

As she will herself to play more to overcome the issue, another problem raised where notes and tune muffles out as she approach the end of any song, rendering her unable to map out the tempo and the feel of the piece, which was the most crucial aspect in performance((and also hence why the art wrote "when will the sounds return"))

again and again, she attempted to play and only met with tears and pain at every end, and so she stopped playing.

It wasn't years later when her friend invited her to a concert hall that she would attempt playing again, and met a man with an unmistakable beard she thought she will never meet again.

here is a fic I wrote below, you can listen along with the spotify song linked below, and as always I hope you enjoy this lil blurb ⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝

tags: a lil angsty and mentioned of struggles with chronic pain

𓍢ִ໋. 𝄞 ✧˚ ༘ ��� ⋆｡˚.�� ݁ ˖♬ ♪₊ ⊹

Raven found herself at the concert hall, involuntarily dragged there by a close friend who was settling some business with the hall owner. Having no interest in the conversation, she idly wandered around.

Eventually her attention was drawn to the main hall, the area was dimly lit with only one light shining above a magnificent grand piano on the stage, when was the last time she had even seen a grand piano?

The golden words that etched on the front of the piano captivated her, "Steinway and Sons", and she ran her fingers delicately along its shiny polished surface, despite promising herself not to touch it.

how could she resist when such a beauty is in full display within her reach?

Perhaps there was a lingering wishful hope within her that pulls her through the haunting echoes of her past struggles.

Perhaps this time it would be different, after all, it's been so many years.

As she took a seat and opened the fallboard, she knew she had to play something.

Little did she know she was not alone in that hall.

John Price, a famous piano technician was scheduled to carry out his tuning services on the grand piano, has arrived earlier than the expected time in order to explore the place.

It gives opportunity for him to figure out the environment, and to assess the condition of the place.

To him, a piano was like the heart of the human body, requiring care and love with every factor taking into account, such as the air moisture content, exposure of sunlight, humidity, temperature...the list goes on.

As he walked onto the area from the backstage, he was surprised to see a figure seated at the piano. When he wanted to call out, the tune of a song stopped him.

A familiar melody, a classic.

He recognizes this song, however, with the way the sound and notes were played, it felt as if he was listening to it for the first time.

Liebesleid. Love's sorrow.

As he pause and listens, watching as the fingers of Raven danced around the black and white, he felt himself washed by the emotions of the piece.

remorse, pain, emptiness and cheery? was it hope? yet he can't help but felt bittersweet.

Each note was played with perfection, the pauses, the tempo and the timing were accurate, and with the sway of the pianist, he could feel the emotional depth infused into the piece.

And yet as the song approach the second half of the song, something in the air shifted.

The tempo increased, the intervals between notes were shorten, and slowly wrong notes emerging as well, with some keys played with more force and vigor.

Eventually the song stopped, and only the sound of stifled sniffles filled the air as the figure slouched forward.

((if you're curious and still listening along on spotify, the errors starts around 2:42 she stopped around 2:57))

"It happened again"

Raven thought as she struggled to control the shaking of her hands, and the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"it hurts....it hurts so...so much"

She lets out a shaky breath; it wasn't the pain of her wrist that was eating at her.

It was the act of not being able to complete a piece.

She pressed her palm up her eyes, a weak attempt to stop the shaking of her arms and the tears that kept flowing.

A hand on her shoulder was what brought her back to reality.

Startled, she looked up into a pair of blue eyes, with gentle gaze that melted away her panics.

"You alright, luv?"

The man asked, and Raven composed herself, wiping over her tears as she gave a weak nod.

She apologizes for the state she was in, gingerly stepping up from the bench, only to be met with a chuckle and another reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"It was beautiful"

He complimented, nodding his head towards the piano as Raven pauses.

"no, it's not", she thought internally, but just gave another thankful nod.

"thanks"

John raised a brow at that, taking note for her answer.

"something tells me you disagree, hm?"

She wonders for a good moment if she should speak her mind, and after deciding that the chances of meeting this man again is slim, she gave her comments.

"I didn't finished it"

She spoke, glancing back at the piano as her eyes soften as the echoes of her instructor came to mind.

"you're not worthy to even be in the same room as the piano if you can't finish the piece. It's not just about the techniques and music theory only, you need to focus on the flow and the dynamic of the piece, honor the composer, bring the composer's vision to life." "alright, play it again Raven, how bout putting your body into it this time huh? I've seen others played better than that" "you know you need to win, make me proud dearie"

"well, a song doesn’t need to be complete in order for it to be good"

His voice brought her back as she frowns slightly, the older male simply smiles as he goes on.

"what matters is how much you put your heart into it"

He takes a step forward to her.

"and you, certainly poured your soul into that song, hell, felt like I was listening to Fritz Kreisler himself, ha!"

She could only blink as she chuckles, a warm feeling embrace her heart as she hummed.

"you flatter me...uh-"

"John. John Price."

He extended his hand out as he smiles.

"Raven."

She smiled, shaky hands now no longer tremble as she gave the firm handshake. Something tells her that this will be the first of many more meetings.

[shvdowsdrowned]

Yippee !!

[elitehoe]

EXCUSE ME DID YOU SAY BRYAN DANIELSON VS KYLE FELTCHER ON COLLISION?? YEA I WILL BE SEATED.

[byanyan]

I really can't seem to hold it together for more than a couple days at a time, huh

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Okay okay so. Thinking.

I've mapped out how I want to pay off my credit cards, which means I'll only be getting new stuff pretty sporadically, which means I need to appreciate the zero cost things in my life, like:

- the 2.5 foot tall stack of unread books I have

- the violin I might finally actually pick up again

- the 500+ drawing prompts I've been hoarding

- the list of anime I still need to watch

- the 3000+ songs in my watch later playlist

- the stickers I've been neglecting to cut

- yarn??? I have a lot of yarn

- all the pink fabric leftover from moth cosplay

- the candles and incense I also already have

In short, time to actually use the stuff that I have ���

[pierswife]

Good night and casual reminder that I fucking love my husband--

[seventh-district]

.

[emypony]

it has come to my attention that I probably forgot to post my Yuumi sketch dumps in here and honestly? That's a crime. Anyway, magical cat be upon ye.

Some of these are made in MSPAINT :P but they were lots of fun

I'll add the other ones in a separate post haha