#yeah she's a MAJOR piece of shit
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seeing ppl praise a creator, calling them lovely and shit, when you know first hand that said creator is an abhorrent POS is 🤮🤮🤮 i and multiple other people have actual ptsd from how said creator (who we considered a close friend) treated us. i know she got all ya'll fooled and it's not ya'll's fault because she presents SO differently than she really is. and if you were currently considered a friend she'd be able to convince you to believe she did nothing wrong because she is an abusive manipulator and she is good at it. She is 100% why I don't engage in the community anymore. I cant go through anything like that again.
#if you're in my discord you likely know who im talking about#i dont wanna be vague but because i have no screenshots or anything for proof i dont want to directly call her out#since i cant present proof i cant truly prove it and like any random person would be in the right not taking me at my word without proof#oh also i know for a fact she steals meshes from “friends” and claims them as her own#:)#yeah she's a MAJOR piece of shit#sorry i dont post much here anymore#i miss it but i see her mentioned EVERYWHERE and i just cant#its literally triggering#which may sound dramatic but if you knew th efull story you'd know
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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christmas shopping, matching pajamas and family discounts
college!sukuna masterlist
"Why are we here again?" college!sukuna huffs from next to you for the umpteenth time.
"Stop acting like a little bitch. You asked me that 20 seconds ago, Yuuji is acting better than you," you hiss out, glaring at him. It's true though: the kid is trotting right in front of you two, not a care in the world, while his caretaker is currently dragging his feet on the pavement you're walking on.
"And you still didn't answer, fucker," he barks back, grimacing, kicking a little rock.
"Yes, I fucking did! I told you this morning we were going Christmas shopping! You never listen to me," you start, jutting your lip out and trying to play the victim. You know he hates it when you do it. "Maybe I should tell Yuuji how his big brother hates the idea of going shopping with him," you provoke, whispering so that only you and him know what you're talking about. He scoffs, offended.
"Liar. Don't you fucking dare-"
"Are you two fighting again?" whines Yuuji, turning around and pouting. You and Sukuna glance at each other before shaking your head at the same moment.
"No, we're getting along so well," you force yourself to smile.
"Yeah, she said she's so glad I'm accompanying her. Matter of fact, she said she's going to offer us lunch," Sukuna continues, an evil glint in his eyes when he hears you gasp.
"I did not-"
"Really?! Yippie!" screams Yuuji, coming to hug you violently. You stumble back, gritting your teeth, and reciprocate the hug while narrowing your eyes at the grinning tattooed man in front of you. He knows you're not able to say no to his brother.
When Yuuji runs inside the mall, you push Sukuna's shoulder, mumbling "bitch". He just chuckles, then boldly gets you close by placing one open hand on your lower back. You know he's just going to tease you, so you put both hands on his chest to fight back, trying to put some distance between you two, but the place is crowded and everyone is looking at you. A woman passes by you and looks at you weirdly, so you stop wriggling in his grasp, and he delicately pushes you even closer. You're chest to chest, his breath fanning over your features, grin ever present on his face, enjoying how you look pissed out of your mind. From the outside, it looks like you're hugging each other, when in reality he just puts his mouth on your ear to utter "Never play with me, baby. I know how to drive you mad," then frees you and walks behind Yuuji with his hands in his pockets, not turning back to see if you're following him or not. You're seething.
"Oh my God, Yuuji, look at these!" you swoon over a pair of pajama pants. They're a soft brown, decorated with little green Christmas' trees and little reindeers, a bright red Merry Christmas! on both knees.
"It's a set!" squeals the kid next to you, grabbing the sweater right on top of the piece of cloth you have in your hands. You both notice at the same time that the set comes both in adults' and kids' sizes. "Can we take it?" he asks you looking up, puppy eyes activated. Your heartstrings are pulled so tight you feel like you could implode if you look at his face for a second longer.
"Of course we can, I thought it was obvious," you say excitedly, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down with him in a circle while he laughs, smile on full display and brown eyes squeezed shut happily.
Sukuna, who has kept watching his phone for the majority of the time you've been inside the mall, raises his gaze when he hears your laugh mingled with his brother's. If you had been looking at him in that instant, you would've seen the brief soft glimpse that passed on his whole face when he took in how happy you both looked together. When you turn around, though, he's already schooled his features to appear bored.
"Are we done?" he yawns.
"Would you like to match with us?" you ask him, at the same time. You scowl and he scoffs.
"Hell no, girl. I'm not with whatever stupid shit y'all are doing," he says, trying to act tougher than what he actually feels like. Seeing you being kind to the only person in the world who shares 100% of his genes makes him feel things he doesn't want to acknowledge right now.
"You're a party pooper, 'Kuna," Yuuji mumbles, frowning. "Can we still match? I really want us to match," he adds, shily, looking at you. You're shocked. His cheeks are getting redder the more you gawk at him. "Sorry, you can say no-"
Your kiss on his cheek resonates all around the ally you're currently staying in. "Of course I want to match with you. We don't need your evil brother, Yuuji. Let's go try them on," you sweetly say, taking his hand and walking away from Sukuna, not before flipping him off. Yuuji is so giddy that he follows you like he's walking on clouds, his face slightly hurting from how hard he's cheesing.
Sukuna just stands there, baffled and even a little offended. He stiffens, noticing he still has his phone in his hands. He's so fast with it he's the first to remain shocked by his own actions: he hears the click of his camera and looks at the pic he's just taken, feeling his chest heavier than it's ever been. It's a beautifully taken pic, where you and Yuuji are squinting at each other, hand in hand, laughing. He turns off his screen, shakes his head and catches up to you. You're going to give him a headache if you continue being like this. Or a heart attack. Or both.
"Hello, what can I do for you?" the nice old lady at the checkout says.
"Hi, we'd like to take these two pieces," you kindly respond, handing her the pajamas you and Yuuji just tried on.
"Let me see... oh, we actually have a family discount on this! Is the daddy not going to take anything?" she innocently asks, looking over at your older roommate.
"Yo, I'm not his-"
Your eyes almost fall out of your sockets. "Ah ah ah! Silly us! We forgot his one! Just give me a second," you interrupt a scowling Sukuna, covering his mouth with your hand before he can finish his sentence, dragging him away. Yuuji gives the old lady a confused look, to which she responds with "Young parents these days," shaking her head.
"You're going to take the fucking matching set, Sukuna, and you're going to like it," you seethe, still dragging him away (well, it's more like he's letting you drag him away). You hear how he's trying to talk behind your hand. "Don't piss me off. I'm going to pay less to get more, and you're going to listen to me. Go." You ignore him and he raises one eyebrow, looking you up and down, before biting your fingers. You yelp and let him go, scowling. "I said go! And act like you care about me when we get there, we're a family until the discount tells us so!"
"Okay, ma'am," he grins down to you, wiping his saliva from the corner of his mouth with a slow movement, his gaze lingering a bit too much on the way you're panting.
"Move! Take your size and let's go! Yuuji is waiting for us!" you push him, rushing back to the cashier.
"Oh, you were really fast. I thought you were going to argue with the way you rushed away," she says when she sees you come back, surprised. You nervously chuckle, telling her how you were already planning on buying one for Sukuna, you just forgot. "That would be 20.99$."
While you're swiping your card, you suddenly feel engulfed by heat. Sukuna positions his hands on your waist, giving you a half hug from behind while simultaneously giving his best confident grin to the old lady in front of him.
"Yeah. I just like when she bosses me around a bit, if you know what I mean," he says, sultry, winking at the cashier who is chuckling behind her hand, embarrassed, waving him away.
What the fuck? You initially try not to stiffen, then relax and give her a shy smile, and he squeezes you a bit closer. You melt on his chest, feeling hotter than you've felt all day. He's so comfortable. He brushes his lips near your ear and makes sure you hear the way his raspy voice is all around you. "And I do, baby. I really do."
#college au#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk fics#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic
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butterfly knife
a tlou canon love story, a collection of ellie's memories, and a butterfly knife.
wc: 4k (fluff + major angst, brief vanilla smut segment)
reader referred to as ‘pretty’ and ‘ma’am’, major character death, mutual masturbation. just a sappy story.
─── ⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰ ───
“how long have you been collecting all this?”
she was astonished, gawking at the collection of daggers, folded knives, dual blades. your first knife, a typical switchblade, laid there neglected and rusty - you refuse to use it, she doesn’t ask why. “since i was.. twelve, maybe.” you answer, your singular karambit swinging back and forth between your fingers. “still waiting for my first butterfly knife.”
“butterfly? yeah.. good luck..” she scoffs, inspecting one of the daggers closely, her fingers gliding alongside the handle’s delicate intricacies. some are brand new, handcrafted with glory.
it was hard enough finding a serrated piece of metal that wasn’t blunt and rusted to shit, never mind a functional butterfly.
its habit, the way the karambit spins in your fingers; you’d spent years collecting knives, learning them until mastery. she watches as the metal swirls around your thumb, hypnotised under its beauty, she’d never seen one in person.
“which knife did you use first.. y’know, for your tricks..?”
“mm. this one. it’s pretty basic, but.. it’s a good starter knife.” you tap one of the combat knives, and when you do, ellie observes the rugged scars on your hands from practising over the years; the side of your hand littered with slices and morbid consistency.
“been going through infecteds’ pockets and everything.” you mumble, and she releases a breathy laugh under the impression you’re bantering - when she looks up and sees the earnestness in your gaze, her laugh falls flat. “oh.. you’re being serious..” she gawks.
she admired you. the tangible things, from the bruises on your shoulder blades to the indented scar on your collarbone; the intangible things, like how willing you were to clear a corner first incase you needed to bite a bullet, or how you made her stomach ripple whenever you returned a witty remark.
“look at you being a little garden gnome.” you hear her approach from behind. your arms are sunburnt and itchy under the blistering wyoming sun. and so you snap at her, a sour “not in the mood.” through the dehydration and empty stomach. “it’s boiling hot, i can’t breathe in this fucking greenhouse, and there’s spiders everywhere.”
“want me to come join? i can do the cabba-“
”even fucking worse. get out my face.”
she knew it was your relationship friendship. it was her ‘tsk’ing you teasingly, understanding the sarcastic dynamic between you both. you were partners in crime, rum and cola, two broken people who found comfort in eachother.
winter was nice though. she’d amble into her little cubby in jackson, hanging up her jacket with a spirited hey you when she’d notice your curled figure stirring under a blanket. the ground outside is crunchy with thick snow, the wind whipping against the windows and the wispy air barbaric against your skin.
she’d slide a vhs tape into the tv, gather some more sheets from her bed and cove herself behind you. body warmth intermingling as your back presses against her chest, her arm settling around your collarbone.
she’ll inspect your face, alarmed by the brutish graze on your cheek, fingertips impulsively feathering against the wound. “holy fuck. what’s this?”
“ow! don’t touch it!” you flinch, rolling on your back.
“sorry.. sorry..” she’d whisper yell, before you feel her wintry touch along your jawline, framing the abraded skin. you hear her tut, her verdant globes darting along your cheeks,
down to your lips,
and then to your eyes.
“your pretty face.. all ruined..” she sighs. she’s not sure what she’s doing, how to initiate; all courage in her stomach rotting to doubt when she sees your eyes nailing into her. you look confused, so she decides to play it off. “i’m joking. you’re not even that pretty.”
“ellie.”
“that was also a joke. you are that pretty.”
“ellie.”
“hm?”
“just stop talking, or i’m gonna beat your ass.”
“.. yes ma’am.”
it’s silent for half an hour, the occasional rubbing your legs against eachother like crickets or her fingers tracing circles on your arm. she wishes she could settle her hand on your waist, or your hip. but she struggles with establishing boundaries, the mere handshake or high-five is too awkward for her.
“have you ever liked someone?” you hear her murmur, her breath fluttering against your neck. you think for a little, eyes glued to the tv screen. “i guess.”
“did you ever tell them?” her nails are delicately feathering against your bicep, soothing patterns that heat your stomach with vim. you tell her a simple no, rolling to your back and maintaining eye contact with her.
she studies you, much like you study her. her cheeks are florid, peppered with subtle freckles that could be counted up close, pupils dilated and pooled with something you could only describe as adoration. “same..” she whispers, eyes mesmerised when they scan your lips. “sometimes, i wonder if i should’ve said something.”
you’re not stupid. and she knows you’re not stupid. you’re piecing the puzzle together, analysing the way her gaze softens with vulnerability, a sweetness which is such a stark contrast to her usual hostility.
“ellie..” you clear your throat, breaking her trance. it’s like she’s asking you, wanting your guidance, your permission. “if you want to kiss me, then do it. stop being such a pus-“ you’re interrupted as she leans in, tilting her head and swallowing your words.
her lips are weightless against yours, a years-in-the-making kiss, longing yet patient with you. her hands hold her up, one by your head and the other beside your waist; she parts her lips again, inviting you to connect with her, deepening it experimentally.
she wants to dart her tongue out and taste you, but the unknown boundaries of.. whatever this is.. is suspenseful and terrifying to her. so she’ll let you take initiative, her lips only smooching at yours with yearning, tilting her head to ease into it.
when you do part, her eyes are brimming with intimacy, as if she’s savouring you in this moment. you rub your lips together, and tastes like coffee, which makes sense. considering it has been all she’d been drinking this morning.
“.. ew..” you whisper, your hands cupping her jaw. she rolls her eyes, and she’s about to say something, but you pull her down towards you; your lips brushing together, feather-light and exploratory, before she kisses at the corner of your lips.
“m sorry-“ peck. “you’re just-“ peck. “too fucking-“ peck. “pretty-“
her kisses dot around your jaw, mindful of your tormented cheek, spreading to your neck. she was nurturing, taking your hand in hers, bringing it to her graceful lips and kissing each knuckle; each scar, each rugged slice.
the verdant shade in her eyes reminds you of the outside, the earth, the soil and the overgrowth; her pupils dilate as you maintain eye contact, bleaching that infected overgrowth with adoration. “can i..?” she whispers, fingers tracing the dips of your hips, dusting your stomach in circular motions.
“no. those are places you can’t touch.” you whisper, jokingly. but when she looks at you with soft brows and convincing eyes, you feel like siren bait.
“places i can’t touch.. yet?” she whispers back, genuine softness in her voice that seeps out like caring silk.
she’s a little bit of a loser. but it’s okay, because you’re wanting it just as much when you look down and see her slender fingers, admiring veins around her knuckles.
your legs subconsciously part at it, accepting her, inviting her. she takes the hint, manipulative fingers dipping under the fabric of your torn sweatpants.
it was essentially lovemaking, her obsessively pecking at your lips as your hands are nested into eachother’s underwear, mutually masturbating. you provided for eachother, blossoming pleasure when you feel her finger tease your swollen clit.
“feel good, baby?” she’d whisper against your cheek, lips lazily grazing your skin, breath hitching when you’d circle her clit.
at first, it was being careful around the edges, tracing each other precisely; then it was hips rutting against each other’s hands messily, the silent room filled with your heavy breaths and your thighs walloping sloppily against her hand as she’d fuck you with her fingers.
“fuck, more up. more up.” you’d whimper, core tightening as her dilated pupils look at you.
you wish you could make sense to her, but the stimulation is forcing your words to melt into difficult blether. “more up? like this?” she whispers, and you feel her fingers curl more, your clit pulsing with its own heartbeat as she does so.
“holy shit, you’re so good.. so fucking good, ellie.” your head would fall back, legs quivering as her fingers would twine inside and rock into you how she learnt you like it.
“that.. that was-fuck, you.. you’re incredible..” she’d swallow, trying to regulate her breathing, feeling your clit throbbing under her palm; your tight core and clenched hips relaxing post-orgasm. “you-you came so quick..” you hum, your hand gliding out from between her legs, her cum glossing your fingers seductively.
“can you blame me? you’re in my ear going mmph.. mm-mhm, mmphm..” she would mimic your whines, because your relationship friendship situationship was teasing. you’d roll your eyes, nudging her shoulder from embarrassment.
she loved you, to pieces.
but those pieces started to crumble after joel.
“didn’t mean to wake you..” you hear her mumble as she zips her bag up, consumed by grief. she’d been packing as you slept, which wasn’t totally out of character - ellie’s always been sneaky. “what are you doing?” you sit up, scanning the puce bruise under her eye through your blurry vision, framing her bloodshot and revenge-driven pupils.
she’s silent for a little, as you rub your eyes and try to regain consciousness from your heavy sleep. she’s wondering if she should tell you this truth, but she knows you’re not stupid.
“i have to find her..”
she seems cold, distant, too numb to remember everything you had both built. it’s hard to see her go down this route, this isn’t your ellie.
“so.. you were gonna.. what? sneak out?” you slowly rise to your feet, tilting your head in challenging. “you were gonna leave me here? i’ll be waiting here for months.. when i could just go with you?”
i think this was the first time where ellie found something she hated about you. your ambition, your selflessness, your urges to wrap her in cotton wool. she wished you could just.. listen.. please listen. even though she knew you were so capable, you took charge of the ground you were on, domesticated it.
but her gut feeling told her something was off. you can’t come with her.
“i just.. no offence, but.. you haven’t exactly been the most helpful recently.” she mumbles, and she hopes you don’t hear. she can’t bear to look at you, your narrowed eyes hammering into her relentlessly. “what are you saying?” you contest, “you think everything revolves around you, ellie.”
and it was a spiteful comment from you, you know that. but it gives ellie some courage to look back at you, eyes of conflict. “you’re not like me, you don’t have to do all this shit. you have nobody.”
you bite back your malicious words, eyes shutting to adjust your temper. “i’ve done this, ellie. i was just asking to go wi-“
“i don’t want you with me.” she interrupts, and it’s then that you find something you hate about her. ellie’s always blinded by rage, she likes getting her point across, cutting you off. “it’s just gonna slow everything down, i’ll be here qu-“
“slow you down? me?”
“fuck me. this is the thing, you think you’re something special because you’ve done this and that-“
“woah, i do not think i’m-“
“yes, you do! i see through all of..” she gestures to your body, and you look down at the scars on your arms, the slices on your hands. “all of that. you think it’s made you all strong and mighty, you aren’t shit.”
“ellie, respectively, you’d struggle making it there alone even if you had five hands and six legs.”
and when the insults bounced back and forth, you decided to sit out on the porch. it’s quiet, an owl hooting amongst the stifled streets of jackson, snowflakes settling on the ground.
after half an hour, you hear the door open, her bag shuffling against the wooden floor as she sits beside you. she’s not good with apologies, and you’d find it cute if she hadn’t annihilated your self-esteem just now.
her eyes are fixed to an invisible point in the floor, and she’s testing the waters, her breath misty with every exhale. you feel her reluctant eyes on you, as she bites her lip out of newfound anxiety. “i wanted to say sorry.. i said some nasty things..” she mumbles, looking ahead at the streetlights and the hushed streets of jackson. “you deserve the world. i wish.. i could give it to you..”
you look at her, feeling your insides marshmallow up inside with her endearing and sincere words. her eyes are overflowing with apology, and you nod at her, grateful. “i’m sorry, too. i didn’t.. mean anything i said.”
she processes your words, eyebrows peaked, as if she’s melting with your apology. “i know..” she whispers, shuffling beside you and her lips planting a remorseful kiss on your shoulder. “i love you..”
you feel sedated under her touch, your lids low as she brings her lips from your shoulder to your forehead, pecking it fondly. and so you whisper back that you love her too. it feels like home to her, confirmation that the relationship between you is okay.
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
idaho falls was stop number one. it’s hard to believe tommy had made his way through it alone.
ellie was focused on eastlake, that was the golden ticket. although she was affectionate enough to put her hand on your waist on horseback, or send you quick reassuring nods, she was rather inanimate. you can’t blame her, you’d be the same.
“bastard things..” you huff, trudging through the disarray of infected corpses, trying to retrieve your knife, lodged deep inside a clicker’s shroomy neck.
you’re both blood-soaked, heavy breathing from the ambush. you’d gotten used to shivving through large groups like this, but it was game over when you’d set off nail bombs. it was as if the whole town had came alive and started sprinting at you, screeching and cackling.
“what are you doing?” ellie mumbles when she sees you look through a dusty bag that had seemingly fused into the clicker. “there’s no way you’re actually looking.” she releases a breathy laugh, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
“you never know, it’s how i found one of my daggers.” you look at her defensively, fingers carefully diving into the bag, only to find a crumpled letter and a lighter. “i mean.. these guys used to be people, ellie. with hobbies, and memories and people who cared about them.” you mumble under your breath, “if someone ever found me like this, they’d have a fucking field day going through my pockets.”
“don’t say that.” she sighs, eyes softening as you rise to your feet. she’s trying not to imagine it. “besides, remember your whole i don’t die talk yesterday? if anything, it’s your ego that’ll get you killed.” she smirks, and you’re a little surprised. because it’s the first time in a while ellie’s taking intuition to lighten the mood with some playful banter between you.
you return a subtle smile when you remember the conversation from yesterday, wiping your knife clean against your shirt, watching the muddy blood smear the fabric.
e: “if you die, i’m gonna be so fucking furious with yo-“
“i don’t die.”
e: “whatever, fine. don’t disappear on me then.”
“yeah, i don’t disappear either.”
fuck, she loved you so bad. even the cockiness, the snark, the things that made you such a smartass. but as she watches you wipe the blood off the knife, her smile just.. suddenly drops. her usual barbaric eyes are blank and cluelessly staring at you all of a sudden.
you think she’s daydreaming, or maybe thought of a bad memory.
“what’s with you?” she thinks she’s seeing wrong, because it’s not possible. there’s no way.
denial.
“ellie..? what is it..?” you watch as her eyes start brimming, a glassy reflection of sorrow pinned to your hands. she approaches reluctantly, before she takes it in hers, and tilts it. whilst she’s used to seeing your usual scars and slashes, she’s not used to the fresh bite mark, fungal teeth that have torn your skin.
you stare, your hand piping hot and starting to tremor. because there’s not much for her to imagine anymore, it’s reality.
it’s nobody’s fault. you didn’t feel it, the adrenaline helped block it out. you hadn’t even realised one had gotten that close to you. “i didn’t.. but i didn’t feel it..” you blink in refusal, trying to remember if you’d felt it, when you’d felt it.
“i told you. i fucking told you to stay. and you just, don’t fucking listen.” her voice cracks, hands clenching into wrathful fists. she can’t believe you’ve been bulletproof all these years, untouchable, survived wounds from the neck; the head, every limb. yet a measly bite was all it took.
anger.
maybe you’re immune, you’re like her. maybe it’s a mistake, you didn’t get bitten at all. maybe if she’d fucking knocked you unconscious and left before you had woken up, you’d be okay.
bargaining.
“ellie. listen.. it’s not your fault.” you state bluntly to her, cupping her face in your hands. she struggles to hear through the stressful ringing in her ears, it’s as if she’s already screaming on the inside. “ellie.. can you hear me?” you ask when you notice her eyes go blank for a second, eyebrows furrowing with confusion. it feels as if she’s exiting her body, pretending it’s not real.
“ellie.. listen. i don’t know when this shit is gonna kick in, but when it does. i need you to think straight.. okay..” you explain to her, noticing the life in her eyes revive only slightly as she reads your lips. “you need to think straight, because i won’t be.”
and she slowly nods, blinking through the tears.
she decided to wait it out with you, she’s not sure why, it’s not like you were going to get better. by the second hour, your vision was pixelated, violet blurs that you try to blink away as you look at the sculptures around you.
it’s a museum, and you smile slightly.
“always wanted to visit one of these.” you slump into the leather chair, head aching and eyes feeling as though they’re being hammered from the inside. ellie kept her distance for the first hour, regretful eyes that scan you - your skin is glistening with sweat, and she doesn’t think you notice how your limbs keep twitching.
you look at her, eyebrows arched as you spin your karambit between your fingers. “talk to me.. please, ellie..” you plead quietly, noticing she hasn’t said a single word. she’s void, a mourning shell.
she ambles towards you, hands out as she delicately takes your arm, tilting your hand to inspect the wound. “let me look..” she whispers, as if she’s still trying to convince herself it isn’t real. but how can she, when your hand is ice cold, stripped of its usual warmth?
by the third hour, ellie could tell you were really struggling. really struggling. you had kept asking her to repeat what she said, when she hadn’t said anything - you’re hallucinating, it feels like you’re going crazy.
“baby..” you hear her murmur through the deafening ring in your ears. “please.. please tell me it’s a joke.. you’re fucking with me..?” she clears her throat, releasing a breathy laugh. “please.. i’m fucking begging you, say you’re just messing with me..”
her fingers intertwined with yours as she kneels infront of you, on her knees, helpless. “i.. don’t make me do this.. i can’t.” she can’t see through the puddles in her eyes, it feels like she’s talking to herself.
because she knows she has to stop this, your misery, your suffering. she has to walk away and make peace with the fact she did it for you.
“you’re gonna be fine, ellie. people like you always are..” you whisper breathlessly, your lungs feel useless, paralysed by something growing inside.
“ellie..” your lids are low, eyes morbidly rolling to her, feeling heavy and strenuous. you’re so fatigued, seeing ellie’s bloodshot eyes and her cheeks raw and worn from the constant rubbing of her tears. she maintains eye contact, shuffling closer until her forehead presses against yours.
her lashes are dark and thick, and she closes her bleary eyes. you used to cup her face when she’d press her forehead against yours, but you’re so cold, and limp, and lifeless.
“give those bastards hell.”
and it took until the fifth hour - until you were unresponsive, until you’d start begging her with pained tears to end it - that she’d muster up the courage to let go of your hands, give you a graceful kiss on the forehead,
“i love you..” she’d choke back a sob, lips against your forehead, “you.. you are.. the most magnificent person.. i have ever met..”
and shakily aim at your head, pistol quivering in her hand as her finger rests along the trigger.
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
jackson, wyoming. blissful summer, two years later, the grass dehydrated.
she’d be kicking at the dry ground, scraping her converse against the cracked mud simmering under the heat. she needed air, time to think, to dilute her thoughts. she’d cut her hair recently, it hurt. you fucking loved the half-up half-down, and she knew it.
it feels like she’s erasing you, which aggravates her. it wasn’t just the hair, or the sound the scissors made when she cut the tiny ponytail off, or watching the strands streamline down the sink. it was dina’s confession, and constantly taking out the roll bag you kept your knives in when she felt strong enough, only to quickly roll it back up and hide it in her drawers when she realised she wasn’t.
but she’s done well recently, she’s sleeping more, dreaming less; eating bigger portions, and she’s able to look people in the eyes. her dead rabbit lays beside the stream, bow slung over her lanky shoulders.
she kicks against something solid, slowly kneeling when she realises it’s caved in the ruptures of the ground. there’s a metallic glint as she tilts her head, digging into the parched earth and slowly dragging it out.
“still waiting for my first butterfly knife.”
“butterfly? yeah.. good luck..”
it clicks in her hand, her fingers trying to rub off stains of mud, and she sighs. she sees your face, pretty lashes fanning your cheeks, the echo of your laughter when she’d kiss at the ticklish areas of your body.
“so.. how does this work?” she looks at you, knife in hand.
“you see that red thing right there? you throw the knife at it.” you point at the target on the wall, crossing your arms as you inspect her.
“wow.. so helpful, baby..” she murmurs under her breath, before she adjusts her shot, and throws the knife at the wall. it lands beside the red bullseye, a decent throw.
“wow. that was..” you start, eyebrows arched as if you’re impressed. she feels a gratified smile pull her cheeks upwards as you walk towards the wall, clutching at the knife’s handle before pulling it out. “ass. go again.”
you were beautiful. she’ll never love like that again.
and so she slowly tucks the knife back into the ground, respectively concealing it in the soil, it feels as if she’s burying you within these meadows - letting go of you a final time.
acceptance.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#the last of us x reader#ellie williams angst#ellie williams fluff
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HUH YUNJIN x FEM!READER
Prompt: With Le Sserafim in New York and you coincidentally having a runway show, she makes the time to meet up with you
Warnings/Notes: G!p Yunjin, eventual smut, model reader, golden retriever Yunjin
“So I have a confession to make” Yunjin randomly blurts out during game night in some New York Hotel.
Sakura had just rolled the monopoly dice and took hold of her cat piece. “What is it?”
“You’re gay?” Eunchae sarcastically question, earning an eye roll from the American.
“We’ve established that already, yes, but no that’s not what I was gonna say”
“It better be worth pausing this Monopoly game because I am becoming richer by the second” Chaewon smirked and showed off her buildings in majority of the board.
“So I have a girlfriend” Yunjin breathed out, feeling the weight roll off her shoulders.
The red head doesn’t know why she felt the need to keep it a secret from her girls. It wasn’t like she was scared that they wouldn’t support her, it was more of the fact that she gets nervous about almost anything.
And Eunchae may also be a little of bit of a big mouth.
Once a small detail goes through the maknae’s ear, the whole kpop industry suddenly knows.
“Oh? Congratulations Yunjin!” Kazuha applauded excitedly, even giving her member a quick hug.
“I’m surprised you can even pull” Chaewon teased, feeling a wad of monopoly cash slapped in her face. “Ow!”
“Eat shit. Anyways, she’s super awesome~”
This particular side of Yunjin was an easy way for the members to bully her love struck puppy personality and Yunjin knew she wouldn’t be able to defend herself.
“What’s her name?” Eunchae was the one to ask, already planning on texting Kyujin about the news.
Yunjin fiddled with her fingers and giggled like a school girl. “Park Y/n”
All girls sat up on their knees with eyes wider than saucers. “WHAT???”
“THE MODEL?”
“THAT HOTTIE?”
“Kill yourself Yunjin, there’s no way you’re dating THE PARK Y/N”
Yunjin slapped Chaewon with the monopoly cash again, tired of her teasing. “If you don’t believe me, she’s having a runway show tomorrow night. You can come with if you’d like. She can get us front row seats”
The eyes have gone wider and jaws were dropped.
“FRONT ROW TICKETS TO A RUNWAY SHOW?!?!” Sakura jumped up and about, squealing so high that the windows shook.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll message Y/n and let her know” Yunjin said with a smile.
“It’s a coincidence that you both are in New York right now” The leader hummed and took her turn in rolling the dice.
She did a small fist pump when it landed on a double 6.
“Yeah I know, I’m just as surprised as you are. I’m planning to take her out on a date here soon and even introduce her to my family”
“Awwww our Yunjinie is such a good girlfriend~” Sakura smirked and playfully shook the taller member around.
Kazuha did a small applause. “I can’t wait to see her on the runway!”
The following night of the said Runway Show…
“Yunjin can you sit still?” Chaewon had hissed.
Chaewon could’ve been louder but she’d make a total fool of herself in front of the entire audience as the show was going. Well, not much of a fool as Yunjin right now.
The red head was fussing about in her seat, trying her best to get a clear view of whenever your turn was.
Which was literally in a second.
As you began strutting down with you beautiful model face, Yunjin squealed and started shaking her sign around that read: ‘I LUV Y/N <3’
“Wooohooooo! Go baby! You look so beautiful! Oh wow yayyyyy!~”
The Le Sserafim girls looked at their American member in disbelief. Did she suddenly forget she was an idol too?
“Huh Yunjin just how unprofessional are you gonna get?! Give me that and sit still!!” Chaewon growled, snatching the poster from Yunjin.
“Whatever. My girlfriend’s turn is over anyways” The red head grumbled before pursing her lips and waiting for the rest of the show to finish.
It felt like hours for Yunjin, but within minutes you had your bag over your shoulder and approaching your girlfriend and her group.
“Bebby!~” Yunjin made grabby hands and ran to you like an actual puppy seeing its owner.
Which was not much of a surprise for anyone.
“Must you be so loud whenever I’m on the runway? Be professional next time” You scolded but also melted into your girlfriend’s embrace where her large hands rested on your small waist.
She was squishing her cheek against your head and slowly pulled back with imaginary flat guilty ears. Her boba eyes grew wider and your body melted further. It was hard trying to maintain your nonchalant personality when your girlfriend was this fricking cute.
“I’m sorry bebby. I couldn’t help it. You look so pretty…I mean you always look pretty hehe”
You tried to be annoyed by her unprofessionalism but your smirk ruined it.
And Yunjin’s abrupt peck to your lips. “Mwah! Love you bebby”
“Ugh Yunjin quit being a love sap and introduce us to your girlfriend” You heard Chaewon hiss from afar.
“Right. Bebby, this is Kim Chaewon, our leader. Her temper is as short as her height-OW!”
“Piece of shit” The short blonde gritted her teeth when she slapped the back of Yunjin’s head.
“This is Miyawaki Sakura, the eldest. Then there’s me, your cute adorable girlfriend. And then Nakamura Kazuha, our Samoyed”
“Samoyed?” You repeated in question with a smile.
“Apparently that’s how my personality is” Kazuha shrugged and grinned, letting you slowly see why she got the title.
“Last but not least our baby girl, Hong Eunchae! We spoil her with love”
You softly pinched the youngest’s cheek and smiled at her giggle. “Definitely deserves to be spoilt. It’s a pleasure to finally meet Le Sserafim” you spoke calmly.
“Congrats on your runway event Y/n, you looked beautiful” Kazuha complimented sweetly.
“Thank you Kazuha, I’m glad you liked it. Yunjin told me you’d all be in New York so I thought it would be nice to get you girls a gift” you said with a smile and your manager instantly appeared with 4 bags of designer items that you collaborated with.
“Oh wow these are limited edition! Thank you so much Y/n Unnie!” Eunchae squealed with eyes as bright as the sun.
You would’ve thought she was Yunjin’s sister from how big her smile was. “You’re welcome Eunchae. Enjoy your time in New York”
“I will Unnie, I really will!”
“I’ll be going out with Y/n tonight for our date, I’ve already informed Manager-nim” Yunjin quickly reminded to Chaewon specifically in hopes she wouldn’t go ballistic but the leader hummed and nodded anyways.
“No worries. We’ll get going now. Oh and Yunjin-ah” Chaewon quickly called.
Yunjin’s brow raised in curiosity. “Hm?”
“Don’t stay out too late okay? We got content to film”
Yunjin saluted like a dork. “Ay ay captain!”
“Idiot. Take care and it was lovely meeting you Y/n!”
You waved at the girls but could feel Yunjin’s puppy eyes on you again. “What are you staring at?”
“Just how beautiful my girlfriend is. I love you bebby” she said and kissed your temple.
“Ugh. I love you too. Now where are you taking me tonight hm? You look so handsome” you smirked up at her and adjusted her blue button up long sleeve which was open at the collar.
“It’s a surprise bebby. This night will be memorable”
Well Yunjin wasn’t technically lying when she said memorable. She took you to a beautiful Italian restaurant, then surprising you with a bouquet of roses, and finally taking you on a walk by the beach where the moon shined bright.
Of course it wasn’t gonna just end there.
Because now you found yourself riding your girlfriend’s big cock in your hotel room. Both of your clothes thrown somewhere you’d have to dig through later but right now you were focused on milking your sexy girlfriend and the way she was STILL looking at you with those boba eyes.
“F-Fuck, stop looking at me like that” you moaned.
“Mmm, can’t help it. My girl is just so pretty riding me”
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you clawed onto her shoulder harder, feeling the tip of her dick reach deeper into your pussy. “You drive me crazy, baby”
Not needing to say another word, Yunjin quickly admired the hickeys she scattered all over your neck and collarbones, then giving into her cravings of your lips. She made the kiss slow, letting her tongue work around yours and felt the movement of your hips falter.
But your tone got louder, shamelessly moaning into your girlfriend’s mouth that some of your saliva went down your chin.
“Tired, Princess?” She whispered into your mouth.
You nodded at her, being enough of a sign for Yunjin to lift you up and make you lay face first and ass up. You supported your balance by leaning on your elbows and looking back at your girlfriend who rubbed your ass and inserting her fat cock back inside your sopping cunt.
“A-Ah!”
“Always tight for me aren’t you, Y/n? My good girl”
You moaned into the sheets from the use of your name instead of her usual nickname for you. One of the things you loved so much about Yunjin was how different she was during sex. She can be vanilla if she wanted to, but Yunjin thought where the fun was in that?
She loved making you wither under her touch. Hearing you cry for her name and beg for her to please you in all the right ways.
“Mmhm right there baby!” You screamed at the inhumane pace Yunjin was going at, the slapping sounds echoing throughout the room (and probably even outside the entire hotel).
Yunjin towered her body over your back and trailed kisses at your jaw, feeling her smile against your skin. “Your pussy is sucking me in so nice, baby. Gonna fill it up with so much of my cum. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
You nodded, clearly too tired to properly answer and the abrupt hold on your jaw made your eyes go wide. Yunjin squeezed your mouth open. “Open up and tongue out, darling”
Doing so, the red head spat on your tongue and forcefully closed your mouth before holding your throat. “Swallow.”
She hummed in satisfaction at your obedience, the knot in her stomach growing. “Hmm fuck, gonna cum Princess”
“Yes yes please cum in me, Yunnie” you mumbled with tears.
Yunjin was panting in your ear before releasing an aggressive groan, her hips snapping in a harsh but slower pace as she reached her peak. You felt the warm flood of cum fill your needy pussy to the brim, Yunjin then slowly pulling herself out to watch your creamy pussy leak.
“So hot” you exhaled, using two fingers to scoop the liquid and popping them into your mouth. “So tasty”
Yunjin guided you to lay your body down with your head on her chest, then pulling the covers over your sweaty bodies. She kissed your head and spent a few minutes helping you calm down by rubbing circles on your back. “You okay, bebby?”
“Yeah. We haven’t fucked in so long, I almost passed out”
“I missed you so much, bebby. Sorry we haven’t been going out lately”
You shook your head and placed multiple kisses on your girlfriend’s face. “Don’t apologise, my love. We still call all the time so just hearing your voice brings me satisfaction”
Yunjin smiled at your words. “Did you want to join us tomorrow? We won’t show your face on the cameras. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care about anything else”
“You know I have a photoshoot tomorrow, babe and plus I think your fans will go on a killing spree if they see us together”
Yunjin pouted. “I won’t let them touch you, bebby. I’ll use my magic force field to protect you”
You laughed into her neck and pinched her sides. “You’re such a dork”
“A dork you’re super in love with, am I right?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yes. A dork I’m super duper in love with”
#gxg#wlw#le sserafim x fem reader#le sserafim x reader#le sserafim#le sserafim smut#huh yunjin#yunjin x reader#yunjin smut
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the other woman
synopsis: y/n is the other woman who just wants to be loved
word count: 5.5k
contains: angst, not a super happy ending maybe it is depending how u see it idk, harry is kind of a dick, mentions of medication, mentions of mental health (anxiety, allusions to depression), harry definitely listens to the 1975 in this, smoking, friends with benefits situation, toxic relationship
. . .
"That's the ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen."
"Yeah,"
"I love it."
"You do?"
"I adore it."
"Good."
Harry sat against the headboard of her bed which took up the majority of his tiny bedroom in his even tinier apartment an hour train ride from central London. He was shirtless, his trousers were unbuttoned and his hair was a dishevelled mess. He had a cigarette between his teeth, Y/N hated the way the smoke made the room smell but she would never tell him that.
She sat up against the wall, her legs on top of his. She wore cotton underwear and his shirt, the buttons weren't done up, his gaze switching between his sketchbook and her breasts. Her eyes were fixated on the picture in the center of the white A3 pages.
She didn't know what it was but it was black and white and looked like skin. She wondered whether it was his skin but she wouldn't have called it ugly. She had seen every inch of his skin and the last forty-five minutes was proof of that. Her lips had pressed against the most intimate of places, she would know if it was his skin.
"What is it?" She frowned, tilting it to one side to see if a change in perspective would enhance its features.
"It's an areola," He responded, releasing a sigh, almost as if he was frustrated she didn't know he had taken a picture of a woman's breast.
"A tit?" Her heart began to race as she thought about him taking pictures of her without asking.
He chuckles and puts out his cigarette on her bedside table, leaning forward to throw it out of the window. "It sounds less artistic when you say it." He leans back again and reaches for a strand of her hair to play with. "But yes it is a tit."
'Who's is it?' She wanted to ask 'When did you take it?' 'Is she pretty?' 'Why not me?'
She could feel herself slipping away, wanting to cover herself up the more she questioned him in her own head. She glanced down at her chest briefly.
"It's not you." His words stung more than they should.
"I know that." She pushed the sketchbook away, not wanting to look at the picture of another woman's areolas. "What for?"
"We're doing the human form." He answers,
"Right."
"You're upset."
"I'm fine." She argued but the truth was she was upset and she hated the fact he knew that immediately.
He was good at hiding his emotions, he always had that sense of mystery to him, her not so much. She was sensitive and wore her heart on her sleeve. She was desperate to fall in love and when she did, she felt it to her very core, her chest would ache at the thought of being isolated from human contact. Sometimes she felt he took advantage of that but if she were to admit that, she would have to leave him and she couldn't do that.
She would rather die than be alone, especially if it meant being away from the one person to who she had developed an unhealthy attachment since they had met.
Harry's phone went off and he quickly reached across her to grab it from his side table. She felt like someone was pinching her all over as he bit back a grin at whoever had sent him a text. Suddenly being naked around him felt wrong so she quickly reached for her clothing that had been discarded on the bedroom floor.
"You're leaving?" He asks.
"Who is it?"
"It's nobody." She knew him long enough to know when he was lying.
"How long have you been seeing her?" Y/N wasn't going to cry, she wasn't, she really really wasn't.
Harry rolled his eyes, "You're being dramatic," He always tried to make it seem as if her feelings were too big for the space around them.
"You're a fucking jerk you know that?" She pulled her trousers up her legs and didn't even bother to button them up as she went in search for her shoes. "You show me someone else's tits as soon as we finish having sex? And then you get a text message and don't even tell me who it is?"
"I don't know why you're getting so upset we agreed long ago this was just a temporary thing."
"Oh I know you remind me that every time, I like to remind myself every day I'm just someone to pass the time." Y/N was used to being someone made to be used by someone else. She could be bleeding on the floor in the middle of the street and she wouldn't be surprised if someone took a plastic bottle and started filling it up with her blood in hopes it could save someone else before they even thought about rescuing her.
The problem was, she didn't even try to stop them. People entered her life and took pieces of her and carried them away with them, just to discard them later. Before she even thought about healing herself, someone else would come along and snatch another piece of her away.
That was the problem with people who were afraid of living with no love in their life, they were prepared to do anything for it. Y/N put too much faith in people despite the number of times she had been let down by the people close to her.
Harry was no different to that it seemed.
"What are you talking about? Hey," He grabs her wrist and pulls her into him, his eyes were sharp and for a brief moment, she thought she saw a flicker of emotion in his eye. Her heart pounded at the touch of his fingertips grazing her pulse. "What do you mean? You don't really believe that do you?"
"What does it matter? I know nothing about you Harry."
"You know more about me than anyone else does."
Sometimes it didn't feel like it.
Harry liked to make her feel special. He was good at it. He sent her texts during the day and brushed his hand against hers when they passed in the hallways. They'd come back to his place after a few drinks with friends in the evening, fuck, and be done with it. He'd send her away and act as if what they did didn't matter to him.
It mattered to her though. No one thinks that about a rebound or a person you had casual sex with but it always matters. She had never slept around until she had met him and now she was intoxicated by him because it mattered, right from the very beginning.
She closes her eyes and nods, "Please tell me who it was." She almost pleads with him.
"It's the girl in the picture, she's in my photography class." He admits.
"Do you like her?" Y/N almost whispers, she braces herself for the answer. She had been dreading the day he was planning to end this, she thought she would have more time.
Harry's head falls back like it kills him inside to give an honest answer to her question, "I really like her."
Y/N pushes him back and finally cries in front of him, "Go to Hell."
"Y/N-" He tries.
"No," She moves away from him quickly and reaches for the door, "And for what it's worth I lied, that is the ugliest piece of shit I've ever seen and I hate it. It's ugly and you are an awful photographer."
She was glad she got that out as she slammed the door behind her on the way out.
An hour later she called him.
"Harry, I'm sorry," She whimpers and sobs into the phone. It was an ugly, heart wrenching sob as she cried to him on the phone, "I didn't mean to upset you. I don't think it's ugly at all. I'm sorry,"
"Hey love, it's okay, it's okay," He comforted her.
"I didn't mean it Harry please forgive me I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please, please, please." She said the words over and over again. Pleading for something that seemed like more than forgiveness.
"Y/N I forgive you, I promise. Please go to sleep." He asks her, he was worried for her but she had done this often enough he knew it wasn't anything serious.
"Promise?" She cries, sniffling.
"I promise,"
"Okay, I'm sorry Harry."
"I forgive you."
The call ended and Y/N lay back staring at the ceiling, her eyes burning from all the crying she had done since she got home from being with Harry. She turned over and took half a miligram of xanax and a sleeping pill, despite her doctor telling her not to, and fell asleep.
"Who was that?" Harry turned to look at the girl in the photo who was now lying on his bed. Her hair was flipped to one side, exposing her entire neck and collarbones.
"Nobody." He forced a smile on his face and walked over to her with his camera, the sounds of Y/N's pleading echoing in his head for the remainder of the night.
--
The next day, Y/N walked into the art room for her first class of the day. She took out her portfolio and sat at her table where she had been working on her next project. It was a painting she had been working on for the past few days and she wasn't near to being finished just yet.
Her eyes were swollen and red from having spent the majority of yesterday crying her eyes out. She skipped her therapy appointment and turned her phone off as she thought about how lonely she really was and how she had no one but herself to blame for putting herself in that situation.
Harry was also in this class but he hadn't turned up yet. The thought of him made her stomach twist. Picturing his smile as he told her about the girl he had been seeing, 'I really like her.' echoed in her head and she wondered what it would be like for him to say that about her.
"How's it going?" Ollie, a good friend of Y/N's, sat down at the easel and stool next to her and placed his backpack on the ground at his feet. He pulled out his pens and watercolor paints as he set up his station to paint.
"Fine." She muttered, reaching for her headphones in her pocket and putting one in her left ear.
"That doesn't sound good." He chuckled, shaking his head.
"I'm fine Ollie." She repeated, a little more hostile this time.
"Did you go to Harry's place yesterday? I tried to call you but it went straight to answerphone."
"What makes you think that?" She looked at him, tilting her head in curiosity.
"You have this look in your eye." He seems as if he doesn't want to go on but she waits for him to carry on speaking, "I don't know how to describe it... It's like someone's put light in your chest just to then suck the life out of you." He motions towards her painting, "Kind of like that."
She looked at her painting and stared at it. A woman sat in an empty room, a stream of light hitting her face from the window. Outside were people celebrating amongst vines and trees and flowers. The painting was a mixture of beiges and browns and green but the woman's eyes were black and lifeless... they were the saddest pair of eyes she had ever seen.
--
"Fuck," Harry groaned and fell on top of her, sweat beading his forehead as he left her and fell to her side. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, her mind was blank and her chest was heavy.
Harry reached across her for his phone, "Shit." He muttered, shifting to the end of the bed and jumping to his feet.
"What?" Y/N asked, sitting up, the blanket falling to her waist.
"I didn't know what time it was, I'm late for my class." He pulled up his trousers and ran his fingers through his hair as he went in search for a shirt to wear on his bedroom floor.
"Hmm." She sighed and fell back, reaching for one of his cigarettes and fiddling with it between her fingers.
"Are you going to smoke that?" He nodded towards the cigarette.
"Would you like me more if I did?" She replied.
He frowned, "I'd like you just the same."
She stared at him, he was so pretty. He had just gotten out of bed and his hair was a mess, his shirt had a stain on and his trousers were undone but he was so beautiful. She wondered if he ever thought that about her, whether she was beautiful despite the ugliness and mess.
Y/N reached for a lighter, lit the end of the cigarette, and inhaled the smoke.
She didn't seem to mind the way it made the room smell this time because it was a reminder that he had actually been there in her presence even just for a brief few minutes. She stared at the empty room where he once stood.
--
Y/N remembered when she first saw them together. It was a Friday night and all the art students spent Friday night at a bar in Camden Town. Y/N and Harry weren't in the same friendship circle but they had friends that knew friends and that was really how they met.
She sat with Ollie on a couch as everyone else played pool. She had taken three shots of vodka and was on her first drink of the night. The door opened and they both walked in hand in hand. The girl was stunning, her legs were long and thin, her hair was thick and wavy, her eyes were innocent and shone underneath the lights of the bar and her hand was intertwined with Harry's.
They caught eyes for a brief second before Harry turned away from her and went over to the bar to order them a drink. Ollie was talking about something she wasn't paying much attention to as her eyes stayed fixated on them.
She noticed the way his hand pressed against her back at the bottom of her spine and how he brushed her hair behind her ear as they leaned against the bar waiting for their drinks. How she smiled as he whispered something to her and bit her lip as he traced the back of her hand with the tip of his finger.
Y/N realised the Harry standing in front of her was someone she had never met before. It was strange how we never really know the people we meet as they choose to present themselves as someone else depending on who they are with. It's only when you're with your person that you can truly be your authentic self. She wondered which version of himself was real. She even wondered which version of herself was real, who she was with him or who she was without.
"I'm going to go over there." Y/N slurred, moving off the couch but falling back again as the room began to spin.
"Oh no you don't." Ollie pulled her back. "I'm not going to let you embarrass yourself like that."
"Why would I be embarrassed?" He looked at her like she was supposed to understand what he was hinting to.
"You'll forgive me in the morning." He said like he had done her some kind of favour.
She did.
--
"When are you going to take pictures of me for your class?" She wondered, playing with the ends of her hair on his bed as Harry fiddled with the strings of his guitar.
"You want me to do that?" He asked.
"Why not? I think it would be fun." She thought for a moment, "What would you choose to take pictures of?"
Harry pondered on the idea, thinking really hard to come up with an answer to her question. She bit her lip to hold back a smile. She liked the idea of him scanning his memories for parts of her body he had seen. It made her happy knowing that pieces of her were ingrained into his mind like lyrics to a song or the colours of the rainbow.
"Your eyes." He answered after a while.
She frowned, not expecting the answer, "What?"
"Your eyes." He repeated.
"That's it?" Her eyes were the only part of her he thought worth photographing?
"Yeah."
"That's boring." She muttered, falling back against the mattress.
"What makes you say that?"
"You took a picture of that girls boob and you've probably taken a lot more pictures since you like her so much." He cringed and set his guitar down to look at her properly. Harry knew he had to be careful with what he was saying, he could tell by the tone of her voice she was getting upset.
"Those were the only pictures I took." He argued, "And besides, I like your eyes."
"You never look into them." She retorts.
"Of course I do."
"You don't."
A beat of silence rested between them until Harry spoke again, "Maybe when you're not looking."
"Why would you look at my eyes when I'm not looking?" She wasn't understanding anything he was saying.
"Because I love watching you watch the world." He replied. "If I don't know how I feel about something I look at your eyes and everything makes sense. Sometimes it feels as though I'm understanding the world through you."
Her face softened, her heart settled in her chest. She felt warmth spread through her like she had just received a warm hug. The corners of her lips tugged upwards and she crawled over to kiss his cheek. "That was possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." She confessed, her heart expanding.
"Then you need to be surrounded by better people." He reached for his guitar. "Come sit here." He patted his thigh and she rolled off the bed to sit exactly where he asked.
He began to play a song on his guitar, gently singing the lyrics in a low voice. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.
It was one of those moments she wanted to freeze and stay in forever. Nothing else existed outside of this bubble. Her heart was happy.
--
Ollie's birthday was January 23rd and he was having a house party at his flat.
"How many people are coming?" Y/N asked as she applied mascara in front of his bathroom mirror. She was crouched down inside the sink so she could get as close as possible to the mirror.
"I don't know, I invited about twenty and said they could spread the word to whoever was available." OIlie applied aftershave as he spoke.
"So everyone?"
"Possibly."
Y/N was excited to see Harry. Although they didn't speak much outside of the confinements of his bedroom, she was still looking forward to being in his presence. Ever since their intimate moment, they shared a few days ago, she had been longing for him. Her heart sighed in bliss at the thought of being near him again.
She wanted to wear something extra special that she thought he would like. Her hair was curled, which she never normally did, she wore black, leather trousers and a black corset to go with it and black heels to make her slightly taller than she really was. She accessorised with gold jewellery and had done her makeup in a much more simple manner.
"You look like that girl." Ollie spoke as soon as she walked into his kitchen.
"What girl?" She blushed.
"The one Harry was with at the bar the other night. I mean, the outfit is hot but you never wear your makeup and hair like that."
"Geez would it kill you to just say I look 'good'?" She mumbled, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. She never normally wore her hair down as it irritated her.
Ollie's face softened, she hated the sympathy on his face, "You look fucking hot." He said, pulling her in for a hug, "Don't let anyone change that." He whispered.
People began to arrive around 10pm. Ollie's apartment filled up rather quickly and Y/N was already on her third drink of the night. She was stood talking to a few of her friends from one of her textile classes until her eyes caught sight of the curly-headed boy she had been waiting for.
She smiled, excusing herself from the conversation and shifting through the crowd to get to him. "Harry hey," She beamed but then immediately felt her happiness slip from her.
"Hey Y/N," His eyes were wide at the sight of her, he was so used to seeing her in her natural form.
Y/N didn't reply as her focus was fixated on the girl talking to some other people. The girl he had bought with her. The girl in the photo. "Are you okay?" Harry asked when she didn't say anything.
"I'm fine." She forced a smile on her face.
"We're not staying long. I just thought I'd stop by to see Ollie." Her heart deflated at the use of 'we', they were a 'we' now.
"Right, I'm sure he'll appreciate it." She nodded, reaching for another drink.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He checked with her.
"I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom." Y/N pushed past him and made her way to Ollie's bathroom which was surprisingly empty.
"Are you okay?" Someone asked her from behind as she was about to step into the bathroom.
She turned around and came face to face with the girl from the photo. She looked even more beautiful up close if that were even possible.
"I'm fine." Y/N muttered, it seemed as though that was the only response she was giving anyone nowadays.
"Harry sent me to come and see if you were okay." She said, even her voice was soft and gentle, "He was worried about you."
Y/N scoffed, "What he couldn't come find me himself?"
"He was trying to find Ollie I think-" The girl sighed, "If you're okay, I'll go back and tell him."
"Before you go...Can I ask you something?" Y/N could hear the voice in her head screaming at her not to say anything but she had to know, she needed to know.
"Go ahead." The girl seemed irritated by Y/N, like she was wasting her time.
"Do you know who I am?" Y/N could feel her eyes burn as she asked the question.
The girl from the photo frowned, confused by her question, "What?"
"Do you know who I am?" Y/N repeated but this time more sternly.
The girl from the photo looked at her, really looked at her, narrowing her eyes as if to get a better look. "I have no idea."
Y/N's insides felt as though they were bleeding. It was almost like Harry was the only one who was keeping her stitched together but now everything inside of her had come loose from that one reply.
The girl from the photo hesitated before saying, "I'll go and tell my boyfriend you're okay."
Y/N looked at her as she walked away, completely crushed. She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her, falling onto her knees and sobbing into her hands.
She hadn't realised how much power he had over her until this moment. How much she relied on him and how she couldn't picture her life without him. She trusted him too easily and that was nobody's fault but her own.
Her breathing began to pick up and she felt a strange sensation like pins and needles trickle along her skin. She pulled off her trousers and her corset until she was in nothing but her bra and underwear. She crawled into the bathtub and turned on the shower so cold water could reach her skin, all whilst hyperventilating and crying her eyes out.
This was unlike any pain she had ever felt. She wasn't sure why it had hurt so much but maybe it was because another person had used her, maybe this time it was because she gave every inch of herself to him and she had nothing but skin and bones left.
"Y/N are you in there?" His voice was muffled from behind the door.
"G-Go away." She whispered, rocking backward and forwards with her head tucked into her knees and cold water wetting her skin.
"I'm worried about you, love." His voice sounded so sad.
"Go away." She carried on chanting like this was a nightmare she wanted to wake up from.
She felt soft hands touching her shoulders and immediately looked up into green, sad eyes. For once Harry was easy to read as his eyes showed nothing but remorse.
He reached past her and turned the shower off, she was shivering and he reached for a towel to wrap around her shoulders in hopes it would provide some warmth.
They said nothing, Y/N didn't get out of the bath as it helped in providing a separation between them. "Why don't you love me like I love you?" She whispered. Her eyes looking into his, they were red and her face was stained with tears.
There was no point in denying things anymore, he was one of the only people who knew she was too clever for that, "I don't know," His head fell forward, he felt defeated.
"Why did you put me here?" She cried, "Why did you put me here if you were just going to leave me?"
"I-I thought you understood what this was. I thought-" He lied.
Harry knew Y/N better than anyone in her life. He knew better than to hurt her like this.
"Why does everyone leave me?" She whimpered, "Why can't I be loved?"
"Y/N-"
"Please tell me you love me. Please, please, please," She was begging him, crying into his shoulder.
"I-I can't Y/N." Never had her name sounded so disgusting coming from his lips.
"I don't know what to do anymore Harry. I-I would rather die than be alone," She sobbed.
"Y/N you're never alone."
"You're ending this." She cried, "I'm alone."
He couldn't stand having this conversation and not being able to hold her. He stepped into the bathtub fully clothed and sat in front of her, reaching for her hand and holding it gently in his. The feeling of his skin seemed to ease some of the pain she had been feeling, but the loneliness still echoed throughout her.
"I don't know why I can't love you, Y/N, but it doesn't mean I don't feel anything about you. You have become my best friend—"
"I don't want to be your best friend. No, no," she shook her head. "You've killed me once by admitting you don't love me. Please don't send me to Hell by calling me your friend. Do you know how painful that is? I just want to be loved by you. Is that too much to ask? I have given everything, I have given everything to you. I rooted for you in every way possible. I have killed myself trying to get you to love me, and I don't think I even know who I am anymore because of it."
Harry didn't know what to say. He was selfish and a coward and undeserving of her love, and he wished she could see that.
"Y/N—"
"Please just leave."
His eyes watered at the thought of going about his life without her. He could feel the air around them grow thick, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe in. He felt like he was drowning at the thought of her leaving his life. Despite not loving her in the way she desired, he realized he would also be alone without her.
Maybe that was it.
All along, they had just been two people dealing with loneliness and coping with it differently. One used the other to fill the gaps in the spaces where they felt most alone, and the other fell hopelessly in love in hopes it would change them. That was the true nature of it, and even if they were meant to be together at some point, now was not the time.
"Listen to me," Harry whispered, collecting her hands and holding them to his chest. "I'm going to leave."
She choked on a sob.
"I don't want to do that." She shook her head. "I just want to be with you." The thought of the loneliness seeped into her pores, and she didn't think it would be possible for her to stay afloat as she drowned in it.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said softly, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I-I don't know what I'm doing."
She was taken aback by his tears and was unsure of what to do. It was the first time she had seen him cry, the first time she realized he was equally as afraid as she was. She leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug, allowing him to cry into her shoulder.
This was the end.
"I love you, Harry. I really do," she whispered into his ear.
He couldn't reply, so he just sobbed even harder.
--
The days hadn't changed so much when Harry stepped out of Y/N's life.
They didn't talk much during the day when they were friends so Y/N went about carrying on her classes and speaking to Ollie who she appreciated more than ever as he comforted her when she was feeling at her worst. It was Ollie who made the days feel... a little less lonely.
She missed his touches and texting him on her phone but she tried to come up with ways to cope with that by watching youtube videos or drawing so she wasn't tempted to unblock him and forgive him again.
The nights were the hardest. Y/N hadn't realised that the only reason she'd been sleeping was because of Harry. She had tried to not take sleeping pills to help her get to sleep but sometimes she'd spend the entire night just painting in hopes it would made her tired.
Since they had some of the same friends now, Y/N knew of Harry's ventures through word of mouth. He had broke things off with the girl from the photo the day after Ollie's birthday party. Turns out they weren't really in an established relationship and the girl did know who Y/N was because Harry never stopped talking about Y/N when they were together.
That made her smile.
He was an assistant to a wedding photographer on the weekends so that he could save up some money for his own studio. She was happy to hear he was actually making the most of his talent instead of wasting it like she had considered doing multiple times.
Other than that, the days went by rather slowly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. She had been on dates here and there and was in her first real relationship in her third year of University but that only lasted a few months. Turns out he was cheating on her the entire time they were together which felt like one step forwards and two steps back.
Y/N moved into an apartment in central London after she graduated and did some freelancing as an illustrator whilst working weekends at a hotel and the evenings at a bar in Soho.
Her life was mundane but she was okay with that. She had spent so much time focusing on others that she forgot to focus on herself. She had started going to therapy, the gym, and even became vegetarian for a little while. She was no longer taking Xanax as often as she used to and spent less time thinking about Harry.
She wondered what he was up to from time to time but in the end, she just hoped he wasn't alone.
#harry styles fic rec#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagines#harry styles imagine#fic rec#harry edward styles#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#one direction#writing#fanfiction#fanfic rec#angst#harry styles angst#harry styles one shot
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Text
Told you I’ll always come back
~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them
Word count: 7,772
Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around
Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)
Masterlist
When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.
That had been two weeks ago.
Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.
“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.
The sky was a visual of her emotions.
Dull.
Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.
“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12”
“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”
“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.
Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”
“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”
The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.
Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.
“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.
The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.
“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“
“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.
“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”
“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.
“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”
“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.
“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”
“Yes”
“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”
“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.
“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.
Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”
“Oh we will do sweetheart”
Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”
“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”
Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”
Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.
“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.
“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.
“No, I’m not staying here.”
“Where?”
“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.
Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.
After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.
It didn’t happen.
“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.
“What are you going to do huh?”
“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”
“Okay okay I’ll stop”
•••
“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”
“Sorry.”
“Can’t you just carry me?”
“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”
•••
“Y/n will you marry me?”
“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”
•••
“Natty get your bum out of bed”
“Don’t want too”
“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”
“Yess!”
•••
“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”
“Sam what’s happening?”
“Come!”
She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.
•••
“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”
“Y/n/n your drunk”
“I know”
“Why you sad for?”
“I don’t know”
•••
“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”
“Why do you want to beat him up?”
“Because… leave me alone”
•••
“Thor guess what?”
“What?”
“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”
“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”
•••
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-
Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.
The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.
Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.
Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.
“You could of come inside you know”
“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.
Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.
“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.
“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.
“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”
“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”
“Why? She’s a tra-“
“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them.
“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”
“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.
“We’ve got their location-“
“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”
“We need them alive so we can question them”
“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.
“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.
Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“
Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.
His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.
He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.
But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-
His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.
A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.
“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.
“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”
“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“
“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”
They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.
After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.
She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.
The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.
Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.
The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.
“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.
“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.
“She loves them though” He chuckles.
Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”
“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”
That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.
A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.
Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.
Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.
“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend.
Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.
“I-it’s ok-okay”
“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.
“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”
“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.
When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”
“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”
“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.
“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.
Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.
“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.
Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.
“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.
She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.
“No! N-no don’t!”
“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.
“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.
“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.
“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”
“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.
“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.
“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.
“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley.
The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.
“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.
“I need to le-leave”
“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”
“I’m leavi-“
“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.
“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”
“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.
“Bu-“
“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.
The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.
She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.
Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.
“-your concern Scottie”
“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.
“Friend” Bucky scoffs.
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“I see the way you look at her”
“Don’t be stu-“
“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.
“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”
“I’m fine”.
Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.
“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.
Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”
“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.
“…fine. It was Sharon.”
“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.
“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.
The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.
“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.
“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.
“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.
“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”
“I’m so-“
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”
Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.
*Four years ago.*
The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.
“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.
“Yeah I might”
And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.
“What the hell is that noise?”
Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“
“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.
“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.
It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.
“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.
“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.
“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.
Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.
The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.
Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.
*Seven months after.*
Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.
It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.
Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.
At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly.
It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.
“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.
“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.
“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.
Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.
Hydra.
She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.
Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.
For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-
“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.
Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.
“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”
“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.
‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.
“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“
Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.
“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.
Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.
“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.
One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.
She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.
“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.
“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”
“I’m coming in okay”
Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.
“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.
A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”
“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”
“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.
“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.
“Who the hell is Simon?”
“The leader, the first one you killed”
“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.
“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”
It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.
“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”
“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.
“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.
“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.
Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”
“No shit Sherlock”
“Whose is it?”
“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.
“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.
“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.
“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”
Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”
“Y-you’re having twins?”
“Yep”
Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.
It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.
Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“
The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.
“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”
“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.
“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.
The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”
“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”
“He wouldn’t do that to me!”
“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”
She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.
Her waters splashing onto the floor.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.
With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.
The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.
“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.
Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.
Even after the gun kept clicking.
“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.
Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.
Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.
“Hi love, we’ll b-“
“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.
“We’re on our way!”
“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.
Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.
Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.
“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.
“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.
Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.
It shouldn’t have surprised them really.
“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.
“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.
“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.
“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”
*two months before Fury rings her*
Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.
Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.
As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.
“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”
“Shut up”.
“Feisty”
After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.
When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.
“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.
“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”
“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”
The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”
“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”
“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“
“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”
“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“
“It pays the bills” She shrugs.
Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”
“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”
“We need to tell the Aveng-“
“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”
Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.
Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”
“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.
“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.
“About?”
“Your old team”
Her heart stops.
“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.
“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”
“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.
“Why aren’t they going after John?”
John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.
Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.
Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).
Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.
Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.
Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.
John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.
Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.
Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD.
That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.
“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”
“Oh…”
“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”
Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”
“No I know-“
“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.
“But that’s not tr-“
“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”
Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.
“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.
“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”
“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”
“Deal.”
Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.
*Back to the present*
The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.
“Hey”
“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.
“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”
Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.
“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.
“Of course. Hi babies”
“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.
“Guess what bubbas!”
“What” Logan asked.
“Momma loves you both, so so much!”
“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.
“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”
“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.
They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.
She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.
In dire need of sleep.
The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different.
It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.
“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”
“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”
“Yes boss” All answer.
“Well, good luck everyone”.
On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.
Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.
“Y/n can we talk?”
“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”
“We need to apologise Y/n/n”
The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”
The quinjet fell silent once again.
That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”
Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”
“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”
“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”
“We-I didn-“
“Awesome.”
“What?”
“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”
“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.
“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”
“There’s always a choice” He spat back.
“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”
“Why did you do it?”
“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.
“We’re nearly here Miss”.
“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”
The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.
Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.
They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.
After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.
“What the hell?” Tony asks.
The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.
As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.
She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.
“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.
Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.
The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.
Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.
When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.
“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.
Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.
“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”
Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.
“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”
“You won’t try anything stupid?”
“No, god no of course not!”
“Then yeah that can be arranged.”
For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.
His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.
Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.
He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.
The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.
He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.
“Hi babies” A warm voice says.
“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.
Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.
She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.
“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.
“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.
He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.
“I still love you Y/n/n”
“I still love you Bucky”
The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other.
Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.
“I told you I’ll always come back”
~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
#marvel#bucky barnes#bucky barns x y/n#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#marvel fic#bucky x y/n#Bucky angst#Bucky reader angst#avengers x fem!reader#avengers x y/n#avengers x reader#the avengers#avengers angst#james barnes x you#james bucky buchanan barnes#james barnes
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One More Night of Freedom
.... hey.... So this is another piece of filth! Stripper!Y/N and Bachelor Party!H with his one night of freedom. I hope you enjoy love bugs!
Check out our Patreon for early access and 150+ exclusive writings!
Warnings- infidelity (H cheating WITH Y/N), stripping, dirty talk, daddy kink if you squint, slight anal play. We don't condone cheating irl thanks
WC- 4.6k
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Harry knew it was wrong. So wrong, so against every normal moral compass he usually held, but there was something about the woman in front of him that enchanted him. Made him second guess everything.
It was his bachelor party and his mates had encouraged him- forced him, really- to go to the back room to get a private dance from the one he’d been eyeing up all night. It was hard not to, with her creamy smooth skin, breasts held up perfectly by her bra and those fucking garters around her thighs- it was a major weakness of his. She moved her body like water, smooth and rippling as she worked around the pole. Hair following her like a velvet curtain and a cat like grin, full of filthy promise. His head had been reeling as an unfamiliar feeling rose in his guts and his cock shamefully grew in his trousers.
The thing was- He’d been trying to talk himself out of having cold feet for months. Proposing was what felt like the next logical step. That’s what her friends had said, what her parents had hinted out. They weren’t wrong, he supposed. Savannah was a good girl, someone his parents approved of, and she was nice. The sex was alright, she didn’t complain, and she was beautiful. But there was something missing.
That passion. That lust he’d always thought he would feel when it came to his forever partner. Something he’d been convinced wasn’t real. And he was a piece of shit, because watching the woman in the skimpy get up approach him as he sat in the oversized cushy chair, his cock had more interest in her than it had in his fiancè in the last 4 months.
“Hello.” She purred, syrupy voice warming his bones. “I heard I was specifically requested and with quite a nice tip promised. I can’t help but be flattered.” He could see her skin sparkling, like there was body shimmer sprinkled all over her. The thighs, the chest, her breasts especially- he felt that guilt in his stomach start to dissipate as she got closer to him. She smelled sweet, like coconuts and vanilla, and she stared right back into his eyes. Her lips painted a cherry red, he nearly panted as she placed her knees on either side of his spread thighs and sat on top of him.
God, he felt like his heart could beat out of his chest. Her warmth went straight to his cock though she wasn’t sitting on it yet, her hair long and brushing his forearm as he kept it on the arm of the leather chair. It was oversized for this specific purpose, he thought.
“Well, I have to admit to you that the feeling is mutual. I could feel your eyes on me when I was on the stage and I was impressed. Such a handsome man.” Her fingers stroked his jawline, tilting it up towards her face as she moved her hips. He was hypnotized. Eyes dipping to her lips and back up to her heated eyes. “You’ve got me for an hour, now. I think you should introduce yourself.”
He could barely feel his tongue, but he had to get to talking. She almost intimidated him, sitting on top of him and touching him like she had all the rights to be there. Like he wasn’t about to get married. “Harry. My name’s Harry.” He rasped, managing to spew those words out without losing his tongue. Thank god, because he knew it wanted to do many other things.
“Yeah? Well, Harry… you can call me Angel.” She purred, slipping her fingers up and through his hair. It was embarrassing when he let out a soft moan, feeling her manicured nails against his scalp. It had been so long since someone touched him like this. His fiancè was sweet, but she didn’t really… do much for him. Not like this. She’d make a good wife, a good mother no doubt, but he wanted more than that. “I don’t usually take offers like this, you know.” The temptation moved from straddling him to standing in front of him, turning around and bending over to brush her ass against his crotch. “I don’t do private rooms but being blunt? I thought you were sexy. We can break a few rules tonight, can’t we?”
Her body laid on top of his as she rolled her ass on top of him, making him drop his head back against the chair. There was no way she couldn’t feel his cock, not with the way it was straining against his trousers. She moved perfectly against it, her arm coming back to tangle in his hair. Her temple was against his cheek, feeling the slight scruff as she took his hand from where it was clenching the arm of the chair with white knuckles, pulling it to run over her stomach.
“Usually… we don’t let people touch us. But I think I can make an exception for you.” Her hand was slow as she moved it up, trying to feel for any resistance. It was clear she wasn’t going to make him do more than he wanted- but that was the problem. He wanted. Fucking desperately. It was hard to hold on to the resolve, to remain faithful when the girl of his dreams was dangling herself like a cat going for a string. He wanted to touch and taste and feel. All the things he absolutely, positively should not do.
“Yeah?” His voice was dark and rough, trying to find his self control and ultimately failing as he let her drag his hand up and cup around her breast. The both of them let out a noise of relief as he squeezed without her urging, continuing her moving on him. “What kind of exception?”
“Well… your friends told me that you have one more night of freedom. That you didn’t seem like you were getting what you needed in your other situation.” Her thumb ran over his ring finger. “They told me that you needed to pull your head out of your ass and see that it’s a mistake.” Her body moved further up, lips ghosting his jaw. “To put it bluntly, Harry, they wanted me to show you that you could have the attention you want. Don't settle for the first pretty face that someone approves of. Sometimes….” She moaned as his fingers pinched her pierced nipple through the lace of her bra. “Sometimes you’ve got to be reminded of the things you could have.”
Harry was in a trance. He’d barely had a sip of his drink, having been too enthralled with her on the stage. His friends must have noticed it, and he hadn’t even been sure considering he had stared her whole set. Tipped most of his cash he’d taken out. At one cold sober, and he couldn’t even blame it on anything but his own mind. He hadn’t allowed himself to look at other women, tried desperately to make this work and be faithful but fuck, he was losing. Her supple ass moved against his cock, his fingers plucked her nipple as she was giving him an in.
“And how am I going to be reminded of that?” He was going to regret this, probably. When he woke up tomorrow and the adrenaline had faded… or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe his mind would be as clear like he had been dying to have it.
“Like this.” She hummed. “Let yourself do what you want with me, Harry. If you do decide to go through with it… if you cuff yourself to that woman, as lovely as she may be… you’ll have had one final night of freedom.” Her voice was a purr. “Let me take care of you.”
It scared him. Being locked into a relationship he knew he wasn’t going to be fully satisfied with… it wasn’t what anyone wanted, but he felt a little trapped. He’d settled, he knew that, but it hadn’t been so obvious to him until a woman he was truly attracted to came and ruined his plans. It wasn’t fair to put this on her, but it was like looking at his decision for what it was. A mistake.
He wished he could be stronger. He wished he had more resolve, that his prick wasn’t leaking in his pants as he palmed her tits, that he stopped her from sinking to her knees and undoing the belt his fiancè had bought him for his birthday, that he didn’t raise his hips and help her pull his pants down. He wished he could say he didn’t groan in satisfaction as her hot little tongue ran up the length of his cock, from his sac to his tip with a filthy little giggle, but he did it anyways.
“Fuck…” she cooed. “Such a pretty cock, Harry.” Her words were murmured as she lapped over the leaking slit. “I’m going to take care of you. Don’t worry about a thing, okay?” She took his hand and pulled it to her hair. “I’ll pinch your thigh if I need to stop for a second. Let go of all that worry and let me take care of you.”
The guilt that had still tried to roll around in his stomach began to dissipate yet again as she sunk her head down on his length. Taking him down, showing off her skills as he felt the tip of his cock in back of her fucking throat. His mouth fell open as he looked down, feeling her nose brush his tummy before she pulled up, saliva stringing to her lips as she sent him a filthy grin. Harry hadn’t felt that in ages, his fiancè more gentle with the way she gave oral- refined. She didn’t like to do it much anyways which- it was fine. Everyone had their preferences. But fuck, when she spit thickly on his cock and used her hand to stroke and smear it all over, he remembered just how much he missed a sloppy blowie. How much he missed the animalistic desire, when a person would be so eager to please that they’d put their all into it.
“Shit.” He hissed through his teeth. “That’s good.” The words fell from his tongue without a second thought and her eyes brightened as she sucked the tip back into her mouth. The soft squelch of her wet hand stroking him was audible, sucking firm on the ruddy tip and her tongue brushed the slit, making his breathing quicken. He was only a few minutes into it and it was the best head he’d ever had. “Take more.”
The Angel on her knees simply looked up at him, putting her clean hand on his on the back of her head and motioning for him to push.
Fuck.
“You- You want me to fuck your mouth.” He rasped, watching as she nodded, humming the best she could around him. How could he say no to that? When his prick was dripping for her and her hand was firmly stroking over the base. He held her hair in his hand, slowly pushing her down as he watched. Her red lips had smeared on his cock and his stomach and he knew he’d need to wash up before he got home and his clueless fiancè possibly saw, but it sent a thrill up his spine. Watching her stretched lips sink all the way down, marveling at how she took it with only a few gags- he was in his own version of heaven.
“Christ, you’re good at that.” He grit his teeth, pulling her up slightly before pushing her back down. “Let me know when you need to breathe. Fuck, it’s been so long.” His head rolled back on the chair, lifting his hips slightly as he felt her throat flex. She was drooling around him, letting out noises that vibrated against him and added to the pleasure. It was disgusting, filthy, so fucking wrong- and yet he was obsessed.
She sat like a good girl, even though she was being a filthy whore for him, her free hand gently dragging her nails over his inner thigh. It made him fucking crazy, hissing as he really fucked into her throat. She’d feel it tomorrow, she’d remember taking his spoken for prick into her mouth and changing his whole fucking world view. “Such a good slut for me. Can’t believe you’re taking all of this, fucking Angel.” He slurred, rutting up into her face as she let out little gags and fueled his arousal.
Giving her a chance to breathe, he relished in the choked sound she let out as he pulled out of her mouth. She panted, pulling on his length before spitting on him. The girl was a fucking wreck, eyes wet with tears and chin dripping with spit but she looked happier than he’d ever seen anyone else taking his cock. It made him think about how she’d never seemed this happy to pleasure him. It was done, of course, but it seemed like a chore. This girl, Angel, which he doubted was her real name- she was enjoying every bit of it. Loving it. “You like sucking me off, don’t you?” He thumbed away some of the mess.
“I love it.” She admitted, turning her head to press a kiss over his thumb. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to suck a pretty cock. None have been as good as yours.” The girl’s voice was wrecked and it did something to him, the most primal part. “Is this all you want, sir?” Her eyes gazed into his own. “Did you want to cum into my throat? Or….” She tilted her head. “Did you want to do more to me?” Her eyes fluttered as she gave him a soft, coy little look that made his prick twitch in her hand. “I’ll give you anything you want.”
The man didn’t even know that was an option. Honestly- he shouldn’t. This was bad enough. He was cheating, he was fucking up massively, but he couldn’t deny he was drawn to this woman. This beautiful stripper who had given him the most glorious head and let him fuck into her throat. It would be wrong to fuck her. So fucked up, so awful to do this and crawl back into bed with Savannah when he got home- but he couldn’t say no. He really, really needed this.
“I want to know your real name before I fuck you.” He decided, sealing his fate as an awful- but sexually satisfied- person.
“Y/N.” She mumbled, moving up his body. “But don’t tell anyone else, yeah? I like you…” her lips brushed against his own. “So I’m going to let you do awful, filthy things to me. The stuff the girl at home won’t let you do.” The side took the lead again and took his hand, cupping it over his cunt. “Don’t waste a tight, hot cunt that’s wet for you. Or… my ass.” She purred. “It’s all up to you. I’m open to anything with a cock like that.”
Harry moved in a blur. A double check she was okay with it, a condom being produced from the side drawer that she slipped on his cock and her body climbing on top of his, he couldn’t really find a way to stop himself when the mere sight of her had changed his plans, ruined his mental resolve. Her panties yanked to the side, her slick cunt wasted no time. He’d offered to prep her but she shook her head, telling him she wanted the stretch- and he wasn’t going to tell this girl no.
His mouth fell open as he groaned, watching her cunt spread for him. He had a front row seat as she sat herself on top of his cock, watching it fill her up. She whimpered, nails digging into his shoulders as her tummy jumped at the sharp breaths, but she never stopped. Slowly taking him in, she engulfed him and covered him in that tight, sopping heat that he had been desperate for. She was much tighter than the woman he had waiting for him at home, and the thought only spurred him on. “Fuck me… you’re so tight.” He hissed, hands gripping her ass tight. His marks would be visible on her. She’d stumble home and go to sleep, wake up with the reminder of his cock in her and his hands on her- but he couldn’t have the same. He wished he could, though he doubted he could ever forget this.
“Just for you.” She purred, pushing him to lean back against the chair. Fully sat on him, she began to grind over him. Whimpering as her clit brushed his stomach, looking at his face as his eyes were moving from where they were connected and her face. He looked almost like he was in pain, but she knew it was pleasure. Getting used to feeling her around him. The girl knew it was wrong to do this, but she never claimed to be a saint. A man as sexy as him should be positive about who he was marrying, because god knew he could get anyone he wanted. “Is that what you needed, Harry? Needed a tight cunt wrapped around your big cock?” She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Testing her limits.
Everything about this was wrong, but it had never felt so right being inside of a woman. Feeling her squeeze him as she rocked back and forth in his lap, her breasts brushing his chest and her lips nearing his. He knew kissing her would be the final nail in the coffin, the last straw, there would be no turning back or controlling his urges. But he knew she was the one in control at the moment and he was at the mercy of the beautiful woman and the needs of his leaking cock. “So fucking good, baby.” He panted. “S’all I needed.”
Y/N beamed, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling his head back before connecting their lips. And that was game over for Harry.
He gave in. Submitting to his desires, the last tiny droplet of guilt drying up like water on a hot pan. Sizzling away as the arousal burned hot in his gut, his balls tight and full as she began to lift herself up and down on his prick and her tongue entered his mouth. Sweet like cherry vanilla, moaning into his mouth as she fucked herself on his cock like she owned it. Hell- he had to admit that tonight, she did own it. She was giving him everything that he had been dying for, begging for, but couldn’t have. He’d settled without it for a while but this was the reminder that it could be better- he could have better.
She was so fucking wet. Harry’d never felt pussy like this before, not with it dripping down to his balls and smearing over his stomach as she whimpered against his mouth. Her hand held his hair and tugged, making him growl against her mouth as he began to fuck into her. Sinking down further into the chair with his feet firm on the ground, bucking into her welcoming, sopping hole as she let out little noises against his mouth.
“Take me.” She taunted through breaths. “Fuck me, Harry. Fuck me like you’ve been needing.” Lips dragged across his own and he could feel her smile. “She doesn’t give it to you like this, does she?” Her hand pulled harder at the nape of his neck, making him grit his teeth. “Doesn’t suck you nice and messy, doesn’t let you take her pussy like this? How could she waste such a gorgeous cock…” her other hand clenched down on his shoulder, a squeak leaving her as Harry’s hand came down roughly on her ass. “Oh, fuck. She doesn’t let you do that either, does she?” The girl had nerve to giggle against him, suckling on his bottom lip as he snarled. “Do it again, baby. Hit me.”
Harry felt like he could pass out. Fucking into her cunt without reservation, her filthy words fanning the flames of his arousal and dousing any possible guilt even just talking about her, she told him to smack her ass again. So he did. He didn’t hold back, feeling the sting in his hand but also noticing how she got even more soaked as his length pistoned into her, how she let out a string of low curses before tugging his hair harsher. “Again.” She growled. “Fuck me, Harry. Fuck me like you can’t do to her. Are you going to lock down this perfect cock on someone who can’t use it right?” Y/N was pushing boundaries but she was getting what she wanted, another rough spank that she was sure would bruise.
“Yes, yes- you know I’m right.” A giggle of disbelief filled the room, along with the slap of wet skin. “You could have pussy whenever you want. Don’t-don’t tie yourself to someone you can’t pound like a slut. That’s what you’ve been needing, isn’t it? Pussy better than that frigid bitch of a wannabe wife-“ the words were cut off as Harry took control. Turning them around, he stuffed her face into the cushy back of the chair and lifted her hips up, making her scramble to hold on to the chair as he slammed back in.
“Shut the fuck up.” He hissed, tugging her head to the side so she could breathe but holding on the side of her head so she stayed put. “Just shut up and take my cock like the good little whore you claim to be. Fucking slut.” He smacked her ass again, smiling to himself at the fucked out smile on her face. This was the nasty shit he’d been holding back, no outlet to put it in. It was pathetic, he knew it, not going after what he wanted- but this was a wake up call. Women like Y/N existed. Who wanted it just like he did, who taunted and craved and let themself get messy. Didn’t worry about bruises, who asked for it harder. This was his dream woman, if he was being honest.
“Sorry, Daddy.” She whined. “I’ll be good for you. Just don’t stop fucking me. I’m gonna cum.” It wasn’t a secret. He could feel it, feel her beginning to pulse around his length as he railed her. He was in her stomach, fucking her deep and she took every inch. The thought lingered in his mind, thinking about how an hour wasn’t enough. He needed more of this. He wanted to take his time, to make her whimpery and wobbly in the knees. Make her fall out of work the next day. It wasn’t something he thought she did, but if she would allow it he knew he was going to pay her for every second. He’d been depriving himself of everything he wanted for the idea of a picture perfect life, for what people thought he should have. “You’re going to make me cum…” the warning was higher pitched, her eyes watering.
“I can feel it. God, can’t believe how lucky I’ve got it. Perfect little slut for my cock.” The chair was hitting the wall but the pumping music outside muffled it. His balls smacked against her clit, getting wet with each thrust and making her legs quiver. The girl’s fingers held tightly to the chair he was fucking her into, body lax and giving him then ability to do whatever he needed. “Maybe I’ll come back and take this pussy again. Would you like that? Like being a nasty fuck like this, ruining my plans?”
“Yes- yes, don’t keep this dick away from me, Harry. I’ll do anything to have it again.” She was cockdrunk and he knew she may not mean it, but it was what he needed to hear. Y/N was doing what he’d needed to have months ago, providing him the mental clarity to see he was making a massive mistake if he went through with this. “She doesn’t have to know. I’ll be quiet, please- come back and see me. Shit.” Her hand hit the fabric, eyes hooded as he gave her what she needed in return. “Or don’t go th-through with it. I can give you what you need- oh my god.” Her words were interrupted by him spreading her open and spitting right over her hole, thumbing over her ass. “Yes. Yes- please, do it.”
Harry was in awe of her, pressing into the needy girl’s ass with his thumb and watching as her mouth dropped open. It was a domino effect after that. Pushing his thumb in and pulling it out only once before filling her back up, she began to shake under him before letting out a choked moan of his name- she came. Wet and hot, gushing slightly around his cock and making a mess as she came, slick and perfect for him.
He wished he had more willpower, but it had been so long since he’d fucked properly. Seeing her whine and reach back, finding his arm and digging her nails into his forearm and cumming like a mess around his cock, he was quick to follow. It surprised him how intense it was. Feeling her pulsating hole trying to milk him of every drop, he growled loudly and sloppily thrust into her, looking at the creamy cunt as he unloaded into the condom. His legs felt weak as he slowed his thrusts, breathing heavy and sweat covering his forehead as he looked down at the view under him.
His dick sheathed by the best pussy he’d ever had, her ass snug up against his body and her blissed out face looking back at him. He was a mess, one that he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain to anyone without making it abundantly clear about what happened, but this was the best he’d felt in months.
“You okay?” He asked softly, stroking the hair out of her face. “Went rough on you.” His knuckle brushed away the trail of tears. It did something for his ego, he knew, and this would be something he remembered forever. The most beautiful woman looking at him like he’d hung the damn moon. He’d done that to her. It filled him with pride. This was the feeling he was supposed to have after sex. That feeling he’d been going crazy searching for. Not the slight disappointment as soon as the lackluster orgasm faded. Savannah wasn’t a bad woman, not at all- but she wasn’t right for him.
“I’m fucking perfect.” She breathed out, shaking her head. “Just- don’t pull out yet. I need a minute.” Her voice was weaker now as she slumped against the chair, Harry following suit. Pressing himself against her back, he took the lead and kissed her again, humming at the taste of him and cherry vanilla on her lips. “Are you going to come back and see me?” She mumbled as he pulled back a bit.
“I’d like to, yeah.” He laughed breathlessly. “Have some things to break off but… I’d love your number, if that’s something you’d be comfortable with.” If he didn’t do this again, he thinks he may die. Dramatic, but his life was changed. “Mmm…”’she hummed. “I don’t usually do that, but I’ll make another exception for you.”
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Blackmail 2 | KTH
Pairing: Idol!taehyung x reader
Genre: smut, angst. Five shot
Synopsis: being part of their staff meant you had to be around them all the time, Taehyung has a checklist of all the girls he slept with and filmed and you were next on the list, as he lures you using several ways one of them being actually showing you the content he films, before you finally give in and he actually films you to tick you off of his list. Little do you know it’s the biggest mistake ever.
Disclaimer: events and incidents in this fiction are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. This does not resemble Taehyung’s character whatsoever.
taglist: @idkdudewhy @wisebouquetbarbarian @tan-veee @pookiej @xstfudaisyx @junecat18 @whipwhoops @mother2monsters @lil0u0
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“Put more on the grill.” You whine at your friends, you’re a little greedy at this point and a little tipsy. You and your friends were at a nearby barbeque restaurant in the city having pork belly and alcohol for your last night before travelling away to London for the tour.
“You need to stop eating.” Luna slaps your hand down so you drop the tongs and your pair of chopsticks. “You’re going to get sick and we have a flight to catch tomorrow night.”
You roll your eyes and hold the tongs again and put the last piece of pork belly on the grill, your group of friends were arguing over a major heated topic that you barely could hear when you’re sitting at the end of the table. “I can’t hear you.”
“She’s talking about her night with Kook.” Luna pulls your chair closer for you to hear Sona speak. “He’s incredible and charming and romantic. I’ve never had anyone like him.”
“He doesn’t film you nor do any weird shit does he?” One of the girls asks and right away you could tell that she’s talking about Taehyung which makes you scoff, and speaking of the devil he texts you at the exact second.
9:24 | KTH:
Wyd?
9:25 | KTH:
Wanna meet up tonight?
Your fingers type back immediately.
9:25 | You:
Can’t I’m out with my friends.
As if that’s the only thing stopping you from meeting up with him.
9:25 | KTH
We’ll hang out in your place when you’re done. Deal?
You’re a little too drunk to say no, so you actually end up on leaving him on read, knowing damn well he will join you even if you refused.
You get to your place and the alcohol is now running through your system and your body feels hot to the touch, you’re drunk, but not drunk enough to pass out or anything. You just feel loose and sleepy.
You don’t recall giving him your address but when you’re about to close the door to your place, the foot that stood in the way back in Osaka is now standing in the way again, stopping you from pushing the door further to shut it. Of course it’s him, this time you could easily recognize him with only a cap covering his head.
He doesn’t hesitate to invite himself in as he speaks. “I love your place.”
You eyes roll to the back of your head when you huff, and you close the door after him before putting your purse and phone down. “Did I tell you it was okay to come?”
“You didn’t tell me to come over.” He looks at you confused and you nod your head. “Yeah, exactly.” And he pouts. “I was done early with the rehearsals I thought I should drop by and say hi.”
“Hi.” You fake a smile before straightening your face. “Goodbye.” And as if that’s his cue to make himself comfortable, he yanks off his shoes and lands onto your couch. “I’ll have wine please.”
“We’re flying tomorrow we can’t drink.” You didn’t think this through before you said it, he laughs and tilts his head. “Honey, I can smell the Soju from over here.”
“Damn it, alright.” You go to your kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and one single glass for him.
“I thought you threw it away.” He calls from the living room and you rush out to see him holding the box that was near your apartment door, opening it with a smirk on his face and looking through the stuff. “I’m glad you didn’t, those are actually expensive.”
“I’m not into your weird kinky shit, Taehyung.” You put the wine bottle down and sit down onto your couch. He takes the seat next to you and puts the box down onto the coffee table, rummaging through the stuff inside until he fishes out the butt plug. Or vibrator damn it.
“Have you tried one before?” He asks as he turns on the little purple device and it starts vibrating into his hand, he keeps clicking a couple times to change the pattern before turning his head towards you. “Y/N?”
“No offense, but I think toys are pathetic.” You laugh, of course he’s offended, he even scoffs and shakes his head left and right, denying the fact that you actually just said that.
And to prove you wrong, he clicks once onto the device and now it’s pulsating in a different pattern, before he presses it against your vagina through the dress you’re wearing, the sudden contact of the purple device makes your entire body stiffen right away, you’re not sure if you felt like that before, you even hold the fabric of your dress into your fists.
Taehyung seizes the opportunity and wraps an arm around your shoulder as he leans his forehead against the side of your head, inhaling your scent and watching you suffer to hide that it actually feels fantastic.
He dares to click onto the device again and the pattern changes right away making you flinch in your seat, this pattern was stronger and more frequent and faster than the one before, your body heats up and you feel yourself clenching onto nothing in your panties. Your eyes expose you as they shut down and your head falls back against the couch, and as Taehyung’s head slips away from your face his eyes now lock onto your lips.
The lips he stared at all the time from a far are right here in front of him begging to be kissed and bitten, and he goes feral once you bite onto your lower lip trying to stop the little whimpers that are about to escape your lips.
You can’t control your body anymore, you press your thighs tighter against each other which makes the tiny stupid device press harder against your clit that’s now throbbing into your panties, you’re already soaked there and if you actually stood up you can see the damp little spot on the back of your sky blue dress.
And Taehyung can’t control himself too as he finally presses his lips against yours and kisses you, he feels himself finally getting satiated as he sucks onto them, he roams his tongue inside your mouth and you surprisingly kiss back, which again makes him seize the chance and moves the device under your dress and presses it against your panties. Your breath hitches and your head falls to the side, exposing your neck to him and he dives right in to lick all the way from your collarbone to the back of your ear.
Your body tenses and the grip onto your dress is getting tighter, your breath is quickening and your ears are starting to buzz, it feels so tight in your stomach and you know you’re about to let go. “Mmm.” Uncontrollably escapes your lips and you cover your mouth using the back of your hand. “Are you gonna cum?” His deep voice rings into your ear, his hand that’s holding the vibrator moves left and right to add friction onto your cunt, it’s too overwhelming to you and you feel yourself seconds from cumming, so you hold onto his wrist and try to stop him, your mind is telling you don’t but your body isn’t even listening, you could force him to stop but you physically can’t.
The orgasm takes over your entire body and you feel your lungs deflating, you gasp for a breath and dig your nails into his skin, your sharp breaths are driving him feral and he could go down on his knees right now and beg to fuck you. “Right there, that’s it, cum for me.”
“St.. stop.” You barely whimper, as if the alcohol wasn’t enough for your face to be flushed red and now the orgasm screws you up even more. Taehyung doesn’t even move his hand away as he sees your body shudder next to him, totally overwhelmed by the intense orgasm, your head turns towards him with your eyes half open, his glance meets yours with the dirty smirk on his face, biting onto his lower lip and switching his gaze to your lips.
And holy fuck you have no idea what went through you, your head no longer functions and you can’t comprehend anything but the fact that you’re willing to do anything he wants. The way this man stares at you made you feel like the true woman you are, it made you feel sexy.
“So a vibrator is pathetic but a makeup brush isn’t?” He steals a kiss from your lips and finally turns off the vibrator and throws it onto the couch between you two, you clear your throat and finally relax your legs still trying to catch your breath before you speak. “I’ll do it.”
Jackpot. Honestly he knew you’d agree at some point so he saw it coming, he thought it would take him more time but it happened a little sooner than he thought.
A satisfied grin lingers on his face and he finally gets up onto his feet. “Excellent, make sure you pack these in your luggage, we’ll need it.” He points his head towards the box that had the costume, you clear your throat and get up. “Can’t it happen without it?”
“Trust me, it’ll feel ten times better when you’re wearing it.” He sounds convincing as he pinches your cheek lightly. “I’ll see you in London.”
Let’s just hope you don’t regret this in the morning.
-
You spent your entire day packing because this trip was the longest, your stomach keeps constantly dropping and tickling you when you remember what you agreed on the night before, a part of you wanted to actually back away and call it off, but the largest portion of you was clearly careless since this is just a one time thing.
You grab onto the velvet ribbon and untie it to reveal what the box contains, even when the entire thing is catchy to the eye, but still the purple device is where your eyes lands first, you curiously grab onto it and twist and turn it in your hands, before pressing onto the little golden button and it turns on, you audibly gasp as if you did it by mistake, but clearly you didn’t.
Did he send every girl he slept with a vibrator or what? You scoff and turn it off before shoving it into your suitcase, along with the little piece of clothing before closing your bag and putting it near your door.
Getting to the airport has always been this chaotic, you honestly had no idea why’d they put up their schedule anyway but hey, to each their own.
Right when you get to the security and your suitcase goes in for inspection on the belt, your heart drops when the guards ask. “Ma’am, does this bag belong to you?”
A little dumbfounded and worried, but still you answer even when you’re about to choke onto your coffee. “Yeah, it’s mine.”
“Do you have something that’s battery operated in this bag?” The security guard asks as he’s taking the bag out from the belt, his hands barely touching the zipper.
And holy fuck you know what he’s talking about and fuck you Kim Taehyung for such stupid “Gift.”
Think Y/N, you better think fast.
Worst case scenario he opens the bag and it’s right there hidden between your clothes and you’re exposed in front of the entire staff that are right behind you waiting for their luggage to be inspected, what else could happen? Of course the security guards have seen these things before and you’re probably overthinking it, it’s just a toy for crying out loud, and of course he won’t just take it out and show it to everyone, or will he?
Fuck, okay you’re nothing thinking Y/N, because your suitcase is already unzipped and the guard is inspecting through it.
What else could be battery operated? How could you even convince him when he’s seconds away from embarrassing you in front of your coworkers and supervisors. Fuck it hurts more that another guard is standing right behind him and watching your bag being inspected. You watch their faces carefully waiting for them to show a reaction. God your walk through the gate will be a walk of shame.
“It’s an electric toothbrush.” Luckily he finds your toothbrush along with your water floss which makes the guard yell, “Next.” And close your bag.
Your face has already gone pale and you broke into cold sweat at just the thought of being exposed in public, your pounding heart in your chest feels like you climbed up 10 floors running and it takes a hot minute to calm down and you promise yourself that this can’t happen again.
You’re not even entirely sure that this is worth it to begin with.
Even when the long flight there was truly exhausting, with two stops and over 16 hours flying, it was more than enough for you to rest and maybe try and forget what happened earlier, you were insanely jet lagged and your body can’t buffer anymore, you can’t comprehend anything but the fact that you desperately need a bed to lay down on like right now.
And again you promise yourself that once you get to London you’re throwing away the stupid purple device in the nearest trash bin to avoid going through what happened earlier again.
Finally you get to the hotel room and you were lucky to have a king size bed all for you, you’re almost 9 hours behind your sleeping schedule so you quickly get into the shower and dive into the bed to catch onto some sleep.
Everyone was jet lagged and exhausted, the concert was still a couple days away so everyone had time to rest and time to take a walk around the city, you made sure to get enough sleep in order to go and explore London with your friends, and as you were having fish and chips on the streets your phone buzzes a couple texts.
5:53 | KTH
Done with the rehearsals, see u at 8 in my room and put the costume on J
It doesn’t take you seconds to reply with only thumbs up and sliding your phone back into your pocket, you need to head back earlier to your room to get ready, the man has slept with so many women that you feel the need to stand out in some way.
As for him? The usual routine before hooking up with someone nothing too special, a shower and a little clean up shave before wrapping the bath towel around his waist before he walks towards his carry on.
The sound of the zipper being opened is the only sound that’s heard in the room before he digs in to take out what he needs.
A couple Go-pros, handcuffs, blindfolds, his Nikon camera and a couple massage oils, and most importantly, his belt that he slides out of his jeans that he was wearing earlier. He takes one quick scan at the room trying to figure out where to hide the cameras.
The Go-pros can easily fit behind the table lamps on each side of the bed, and one near the TV, his Nikon camera hides pretty well in the closet that he leaves it’s door slid open enough for the lens to catch everything. He puts the blindfolds and handcuffs on the bed before putting his carry on back down onto the floor.
Taehyung doesn’t even bother to bring along condoms, he’s very hygienic and he knows you’re safe too, he did have to dig deep into your medical record that’s archived in the company to figure it out, but hey safety comes first. He never believed in condoms and he’s very careful when it comes to pulling out.
He takes one quick glance at the time on his phone and it’s already 8, so he takes one last spin around the room to click the record button on all the 5 cameras he set up.
He even sets up one last Go-pro near the headboard of the bed and finally hits the last record button, before scanning the room again to make sure that they’re all well hidden. And they really are, he’s been doing this for over a year now that he got so good at hiding them.
As for you, you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror admiring the way you look, your body is reacting upon your reflection and that douche was right. It already feels great to know that you look really sexy. In the back of your mind you were questioning yourself, are you really doing this?
You grab the bathrobe and put it on before leaving your room, you look around the corridor and the hallway is completely empty since everyone is either sleeping or having a night out. You had to take the elevator up in order to get to his room and you were on your tiptoes hoping that you don’t bump into someone when you’re wearing heavy makeup and a red lipstick, oh and in a bathrobe. You think it’s really obvious that you’re meeting up with someone and it probably is.
You make your way to his room and knock on the door, and there’s no answer. You look at the time and it’s a little past 8:30. You’re not that late and you’re pretty sure he’s in his room.
He is. He’s on the other side of the door watching you through the peephole and waiting for an entire minute to unlock his door, it was his sick way of teaching you a lesson to never be late, and when he says be there at 8, it means you have to be there by 8.
“Hey.” He opens the door and tilts his head inside. “Come on in, how are you?”
You’re fuming at the fact that you had to keep knocking on his door for a good amount of time and he knows you can’t be seen, specially that in the room next to him is probably one of the boys or one of their managers.
“What took you so long?” You get inside and rush to close the door behind you, the auto lock immediately activating and you hear it clicking shut. You don’t dare to look up from the floor when you clearly see him wearing only a towel around his waist, the idea itself was intimidating to you, you’re about to have sex with the man that millions of girls love and adore, and holy fuck he’s standing right there trying so hard to draw an image of what you look like underneath that little bathrobe.
“May I?” He stands behind you, his fingers fidgeting with the rope tied around your waist, and you clear your throat and nod a hesitant “Yes.”
He loosens it around your body and pulls it off of you ever so gently, you feel his breath hitting the nape of your neck and it sends shivers down your body that you shrug your shoulders up and shiver clearly making him laugh quietly. “You’re so cute.”
That wasn’t what you were hoping to hear when you’re all dolled up in the costume he bought, his eyes pierce down your shoulders and back, slowly taking his time to look down your ass, he cannot believe his eyes that it’s right there in front of him.
Now Taehyung doesn’t usually do this, he usually cuts to the chase and immediately gets to work but with you he took his time, he knows you’re new to this, your past experiences were considered quite trash to him, so he felt the need to butter up his bread and be gentle at first, before showing you his true colors.
“Did you get the rest of the stuff?” He asks.
“Yeah.” You hand him the stupid purple device that’s been giving you nightmares, he grabs it into his hands and walks inside to sit onto the bed, man spreading his legs apart enough for you to clearly see what’s under the towel. You take a couple steps towards the bed and he grabs onto your hands before pulling you towards him to sit onto his leg. “Come here let me kiss you.”
He cups your cheeks and pulls you in to kiss you once, the second time he licks your lips and bite onto your bottom lip and gently tugging it back before kissing you, his other hand running up your thigh and his fingers tracing the suspenders you were wearing softly.
Your hands stay onto your legs when you have no idea what to do, he pulls back and wraps one arm around your waist to pull you down onto the bed and getting on top of you. “Is this good?” He whispers, making sure that so far you’re okay and you are, and you barely whisper a ‘Yes’ before he continues, he spreads your legs apart to position comfortably between them, the big clear bulge in his towel now presses against your clothed core on purpose and holy fuck he’s rock hard.
He proceeds to kiss you on the lips again and you kiss back, hardly able to focus when he keeps poking and grinding against the stupid leather piece that you wish didn’t exist. “Mmm.” Your hand runs down his chest and the other wraps around his neck, your mouths merging together into wet kisses that are slowly turning into a sloppy make out session.
The pressure against your cunt also turns into grinding, and you’re pretty sure if he doesn’t stop you’d cum in seconds as this was really arousing to you. The pressure increases against your covered entrance which makes you hold your breath and pull back from the kiss, your head falling back against the bed.
He buries his face in the crook of your neck and kisses your ear, grazing his teeth against the shell as he whispers. “I’m going to fuck you senseless Y/N, you’ve never been fucked like this believe me.”
The man knows the piece you’re wearing like the back of his hand, he knows where exactly to unbutton it and pull it off of your body, this time he’s not teasing or going slow, he’s going all in and sliding it off of your body, leaving you wearing the stockings and the suspenders that are holding them up. A satisfied smug smirk sits on his face when his eyes burn through your entire body, wondering where to start? He cannot wait to put his mouth on you.
He carries you up using one hand and throws you to sit in the middle of the bed, you gasp when you feel something cold underneath your butt and you look there to find the pair of handcuffs that he had prepared. Your stomach drops when you see that not only he had the handcuffs prepared, there was a belt and a blindfold. You saw girls wearing something similar to it in the videos he showed you. “Taehyung no.”
“Baby I wasn’t asking.” The same smirk getting bigger, he does try a little hard to persuade you into it. “It will feel ten times better trust me.”
“I can’t put those on.” You argue back which makes him laugh. “Come on Y/N, we’ll have a safe word if you want me to stop, okay?”
“A safe word?” You scoff. “I’ll tell you to stop and that’s it.” And he takes that as a yes, he doesn’t waste a second as he grabs the blindfold and wraps it around your head, tightening it a little and asking. “All good?”
“Mhm.” You hum, your body tenses the moment your eyes get covered and you get anxious when you don’t know what he’s doing or the mere idea of when or where he’s going to touch you next. “I’m right here.” He grazes the side of your shoulder with what feels like the back of his hand as if he knew that you’re worried. “Give me your hands.”
It takes you seconds to put both your palms up towards him, he puts the handcuffs around your wrists and tightens them enough for you to not be able to rotate them enough. “Fuck.” You mumble when you realize you can’t see nor touch anything around you, and honestly you would easily panic but you had no idea what went through you, you were never into kinky stuff but apparently you’re willing to do it now.
“Fuck!” You gasp again when you’re suddenly pulled so your back fully lands on the bed, your breath hitches and your chest rises faster when you feel your legs being spread open. Holy fuck you can’t see anything, you can feel his hands on the back of your thighs and you can feel his hot breaths getting closer to your inner thighs too, but you can’t see his face and you probably won’t be able to see him savoring you.
You feel the wetness and the warmth of his mouth when he licks a long trail from your entrance to your clit, then moving lower to the inner of your thigh, kissing and sucking on your skin until the color changes into a dark shade of red. “Shit.” You start fighting the handcuffs and you can hear them clicking and behind that is the sound of him chuckling. “You’re doing good baby girl.”
He proceeds to wrap his mouth around your throbbing clit and flicks his tongue against it, moving his head to add more friction as he runs his hand on the back of your thigh. You taste so good on his mouth, he doesn’t waste a drop leaking out of your cunt and he licks you clean.
Your clenched jaw finally drops when he slides two fingers inside you and curling them against your spot, your legs automatically close and he forcefully spreads them back open and starts thrusting his fingers while using his thumb to rub your clit in circular motion as he kisses your inner thighs.
His eyes spot the Go-pro that’s been sitting on the nightstand and he reaches over to grab it and film your clit being fucked with his fingers up close. “Mmm, fuck.” The sounds you make are the cherry on the top to the clip he’s filming, he comes in closer to suck onto your clit and turns the camera to show it clearly.
As for you, you now know why he uses the handcuffs and the blindfolds. The element of surprise was really arousing, it felt insanely good to not know where you’re about to be touch, you had no idea what’s coming up next when your eyes were covered, and your restricted hands basically stopped you from either touching him or touching yourself, he wants to make you feel good on his own and he didn’t need help.
Even the second you started grinding your hips against his face he used his full strength to stop you and dive into your cunt deeper than before, which made your chest heave faster, you’re so near you feel your stomach getting tighter and your pussy keeps clenching around his fingers. “I need to cum. Taehyung please, don’t stop.”
“Mmm.” He savors every seconds he gets to taste you and his eyes even shut close at how fucking tasty you are, he pulls back to spit onto your clit and dive back in, you were a drenching wet mess in seconds when you cum, your head falls back against the pillow and your sharp breaths are now louder, your legs fight the urge to shut close so they start shaking. “Holy fuck.” Even when your hands are cuffed together, you were still able to reach his hair and tug onto it tight enough to make him go insane.
It’s all caught on camera and you had no idea, Taehyung was more than satisfied on what he got so far because you look like a fucking porn star and you sound like one. He hides the camera back behind the table lamp on the night stand and climbs up to kiss you on the lips.
You wrap your legs around him and you can feel that the towel is still on him, and you’re cheeky enough to fidget the top of the towel with your fingers and slide it off which makes you earn a spank onto your ass that resonates through the walls of the hotel room. “Look at my little whore being all greedy for my cock, you wanna taste that cock that’s going to fuck you until you pass out? Hmm?” You can only hear him and he’s already breathless.
And on regular basis you would’ve fucked up his face if he called you a whore, but in bed everything is allowed, including what you hear ringing right near your ear, is it the belt you saw earlier?
“Fuck.” Your entire body is turned so you land on your face, your arms uncomfortably sit underneath you and in seconds he realizes the problem and fixes it, lifting your arms up to sit above your head. You can feel the mattress sinking when he gets out of the bed and gets onto his feet but again, you being blindfolded meant you cannot expect what’s about to happen.
Him on the other hand grabs the same Go-pro again and gets closer to your ass, spanking it with his large hand and digging his fingers into it to jiggle it. His obsession with the female body had him go insane. He moves down to your feet and films them as he’s running his hands onto them and up your calves, slowly moving up to the back of your thighs and gets closer with the camera to film your swollen pussy and perked hole from behind.
He delivers another spank to your other ass cheek this time and moves up to your back, tracing his finger up your spine to the back of your neck, moving to your hair to collect it all into his hand and lift your face up from the pillow. “Look at that beautiful face, this is where I’m gonna cum.” And he spits onto your lips before stealing a quick kiss. “I’m gonna cum inside this big mouth of yours.”
You hear the belt again which makes your stomach clench, you’re high key scared and fucking ruined at the same time, do you really want him to spank you?
“Ha! Fuck!” You yell, squeezing the pillows into your fists when he spanks you with the belt onto your ass, it’s mixed feelings really, both painful and extremely arousing. “Again, please, do it again.” And now you’re begging him to do it again?
He delivers another spank right away onto the same spot and you cannot see it, but it’s already marked onto your ass and it’s dark red. “Please Taehyung, again.” And he goes right in, this time onto your other ass cheek and it feels so fucking good, you’re startled when he helps you get onto your knees to put your ass up with your face still down onto the pillow, and this time he spanks again, hitting your cunt with the belt and making you arch your back and moan his name off of the top of your lungs.
He finally puts the Go-pro down onto the night stand and positions himself behind you, totally proud of the marks he left onto your skin. He spits onto his palm and strokes his cock before pointing the head to your entrance, slowly teasing you by trying to push it in but you were clenching repeatedly. “Relax for me, will you?”
You try and obey but you can’t, especially when he keeps rubbing against you and touching you all over your body, it’s already making you seconds away from reaching another orgasm and your stamina wasn’t that good to begin with. He tries to push into you again but you’re way too tight when you’re all clenched. He grabs you by your hair to pull you up forcefully. “Do you wanna be fucked or not?”
“Yes please.” You cry out, he pushes you back into the pillow and this time pushes inside you even when there’s resistance to begin with making you gasp and arch your back right away. Your cunt swallows him inside and you feel him stretching you with every single curve of his cock, he’s fucking you raw and you were completely okay with it because it felt insanely good.
Fuck, your body is acting up on the stretch of his head inside you, your stomach feels tight and with minimal amount of grinding against him, you cum again and relax around him. “Holy fuck did you just cum?”
He doesn’t get an answer, but you being fucked up on the bed and fighting to catch a breath is quite the answer he needed. He takes one look to your cunt and pulls back a little, you’ve already creamed on the head of his cock and drenched him. “Fuck.” He pulls his cock entirely out and slides in one finger to taste your cum, he’s cursing under his breath because this has never happened with him.
“Fucking god please.” You cry out again when he pushes back inside you, this time pushing further more of his cock , the stretch is nothing like you’ve felt before and you’re not even sure you can take him full. You’re over stimulated and you haven’t even calmed down from your previous high and he’s not planning to give you any breaks soon.
“Fuck, look at that little pussy wrapped around my cock, it feels so good to fuck you Y/N.” He grits onto his own teeth, he pulls back and pushes back in making you arch your back again, he takes up his pace and in seconds you feel yourself chasing another orgasm, and the only way you can announce that you’re about to cum is using your mouth and you’re already choking up on words, so you slam your fists against the pillow repeatedly, which makes him move inside you even faster and fuck you’re cumming again.
It feels so good but holy shit it burns, you cry out his name with your tears that are absorbed by the stupid blindfold you have on, you sob out his name repeatedly and he can feel it, especially with your cunt constantly tightening around him and driving him crazy.
Your body no longer functions and your limbs start shaking, your lower body collapses onto the bed and his cock slides out of you, your legs shut tight to ease down your sore pussy and you’re still crying. “Give me a minute.”
“Shh, you’re okay.” He gets up onto his feet and pours you a cup of water, he sits near your head and helps you sit up to take the blindfold off. You squint your eyes at the sudden exposure of the lights and lift your hand up to try and grab the cup of water but your limbs are shaking nonstop. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” He helps you take a couple sips of water before putting the cup down. “Better?”
You barely nod your head, he inches closer to kiss you on the lips and neck, moving down to your chest and kneading it into his hand. “Lay down.” And you lay your back down on the bed, he adjusts you to dangle your head on the edge of the bed and gets up onto his feet, his enormous cock sitting in his hand while he’s stroking it.
He takes a step closer to your face and brushes the head of his cock against the side of your face and lips before pointing the tip to your mouth and with no words needed you open your mouth and it hurts your jaw when you try and take him into your mouth, the size on this man is incredible and you haven’t seen anyone this big before. “Good girl, let me fuck that beautiful face of yours.” And with no hesitation he thrusts his hips against your face forcing more of his cock inside your mouth.
Your gag reflex was something you weren’t so proud of, just as the tip of his dick reaches the back of your tongue you audibly gag right away and pull your head back. “It’s okay, you can do it.”
He forces his cock inside your mouth again this time the head hitting a spot deeper inside your mouth making you gag again and panic to catch a breath. “Taehyung—“
“It’s alright, don’t move.” He grabs onto your hair and pounds right into your mouth, the head now hitting your tonsils and down your throat, you start kicking your legs onto the bed and trying hard to pull back, but he’s got a good grip of your hair and he doesn’t stop and can’t stop. It feels so good to fuck your mouth and watching you struggle to breathe is arousing him even more. “That’s it, you’re such a good girl.” He breathlessly pants and pushes in one last time and holds inside, your face is already turning red and your tears are streaming down your face. You keep coughing against his cock but he doesn’t pull out, he delivers a slap to your cheek and pulls back. Your lungs inflate with oxygen again as you’re gasping for a breath and coughing.
“Your mouth feels so fucking good.” He leans forward to kiss you on the lips before climbing back onto the bed and turning you on your hands and knees again, positioning himself behind you and rubbing the head of his swollen angry cock against your clit and entrance. “I wonder what it feels like inside your ass.”
Your body stiffens again when you know you’re still not ready, your swollen cunt was still sore and hurting, your hands are still cuffed to each other so you won’t be able to support your upper half if you cover up yourself, “Taehyung wait—“ You panic when you feel the head of his cock pointing towards your hole, rubbing against it and wetting it with his own spit, he doesn’t give you time to object as he already tries to push in inside you, the tightness is killing him and his eyes roll to the back of his head when your hole tightens around his shaft.
As for you, you could swear you feel him in your back, it fucking hurts so good. Your back arches and you don’t realize it yet, but you’ve been holding your breath the entire time. “Holy fucking shit Y/N where have you been.” He whimpers, reaching for the massage oil to squirt some onto your ass, he gets really impatient and unscrews the lid before dumping the entire bottle on your whole body and throwing the bottle away across the room. “Don’t move.” Your voice so low, tears are accumulating in your eyes again at the insanely good burn, and with every grunt you let out, your hole keeps clenching around him in a stroke like motion which makes him grab the belt and wrap it around your neck to pull you in closer.
“Fuck-“ You gasp when he wraps the belt tighter around your neck, the closeness already pushing more of his cock inside you making you scream his name and throw your head back against him. He seizes the chance and bites the shell of your ear while whispering. “I’m going to fucking ruin you Y/N, no one will make you cum the way I can.”
You’re totally fucked you can’t form a sentence, only whimpers and grunts escaping your lips along with sharp breaths, your hard nipples grab his attention and he doesn’t think again before delivering a slap to your tits making you sob out his name, you’re fighting against the cuffs again when you feel them getting on your nerves, you have to use your hands, you need to pull onto something or touch him, your nails are already digging into the inside of your palm hard enough that you’re bleeding making it burn when it mixes with sweat.
You completely lose it when the purple device enters your vagina still turned off, you look at him over your shoulders in utter disbelief, you’re already over stimulated enough without the stupid vibrator. “Taehyung please—“ At this point you’re begging for him to stop, but he doesn’t. He presses onto the stupid golden button twice, knowing exactly what pattern to choose to drive you both insane, “Please, please..” Your eyes meets his, he’s more than satisfied when he looks at your face, all glowing and flushed red, tears are already messing your makeup and your lipstick is smudged. “Cum for me.”
It’s physically impossible for you to cum right now, but he insists on making you cum for the fourth or fifth time tonight, so he pushes the rest of his cock into your ass and starts jerking his hips up against yours, the sounds of your skin meeting fills the room, his thighs and hips meeting your ass cheeks and slapping them with each thrust, and before you know it you feel your orgasm approaching which makes you roll your eyes to the back of your head. “Don’t stop.” You want to reach your end now and you find yourself grinding your hips against his, he pushes you down to land back on your cuffed hands. “Fuck yourself, come on.” He delivers a spank to your ass, finally halting his thrusts, and it takes you a moment to gather some strength and start pounding against him.
Holy fuck this is like a dream coming true to him, he even laughs and keeps spanking onto your ass. “That’s it, keep going.” He throws his head back and clicks again to change the pattern on the vibrator, this pattern is strong enough even when it’s inside your pussy, he could feel it through your walls and it sends vibrations through to his dick. “Keep going.” He grabs the belt and spanks your ass again making you jump in your place and tug onto the bed sheets, crying even louder when you feel yourself seconds away from letting go, the overwhelming pleasure controls your body and you can no longer move against him, you collapse on the bed and fight against the cuffs again.
He loses his patience and holds your hips into his hand to stay inside you as he leaves the bed to get into his feet, he uses both his hands to spread your ass cheeks apart before pounding into it again, this time furiously and not stopping whatsoever, your walls clench around the vibrator once more and you push onto your own core when you finally release your orgasm, your squirt gushing against his cock and thighs making him call out your name. “There you go, good fucking girl.” He rubs your clit and keeps fucking you through your orgasm. “Fucking god, please Taehyung, please..” You gasp for a breath and your walls clenching pushes the vibrator out of you, finally.
He couldn’t fight the impulsive thought of pulling out of you and going down on you, licking every single drop that fell out of your cunt down your thighs, savoring every drop that sits onto his tongue and swallowing it, before sitting back up and pushing back into your ass making you whimper when you feel yourself stuffed to the brim. And he pounds right back into you until you feel his breath quickening and his grip tightening on both your ass cheeks. “Come here.” He pulls out and grabs you by your wrist to get down on your knees to the floor, he grabs the keys from the nightstand and finally takes the cuffs off of your wrists. “Hold your tits out for me and open your mouth.” And your fucked up and fogged brain can’t process anything he said until he man handles you and forcefully makes you obey what he said, sticking his fingers down your throat while he gives his cock the last couple strokes.
You throw your head back and fight the urge to close your eyes when you’re gagging just to look at him and watch him cum right before your eyes, he shoots the first white ribbon onto your face and his balls keep clenching while he’s shooting out the rest of his cum, some end up falling on your chest and the rest goes down your mouth and throat.
And it tastes fucking horrendous.
He looks down at you with his hair all frizzy and all over his face, with sweat dripping down his forehead and even the tip of nose, down to his neck and chest. “Swallow.”
And with his cum still in your mouth you shake your head, you need to spit it out quickly because you can’t handle the taste. People must be lying when they mentioned that it tasted good but that’s total bullshit. “I said swallow.”
You’re about to reject again but he forces your mouth shut and covers it with his hand. “Swallow Y/N.”
And you were forced to swallow even when you’re clearly gagging in front of him. “Good girl.” He grabs his towel from earlier and pats his face dry. “You can go back to your place.” And just like that he enters the bathroom and you hear his shower water running leaving you on his bedroom floor.
You crawl around the room looking for your bathrobe and struggle to put it on, before gathering enough strength to get up onto your feet and leave the room, luckily it’s still late so you won’t be seen around the hotel, and just when the elevator door closes you could swear you heard Hoseok shout. “Hold it.” From a distance, but of course you wouldn’t let him see you like this.
You click the key card to your hotel room and close the door shut behind you, rushing to the toilet and throwing up what you swallowed earlier. You were pretty sure it wasn’t staying in there.
-
You had to get room services twice so they can keep you nourished with soup and warm liquids, and 3 tabs of painkillers and couple hot showers away, you were able to go to work today but you had to walk slowly and get up slowly.
“Good morning.” Taehyung and Jungkook walk into the room with wide smiles on their face, Taehyung putting his phone back into his pocket before throwing his top off and taking his seat onto your station.
“Good morning.” The girls on the station next to you answer them both and you just get to work, nothing personal really, but your tonsils were killing you from what happened the night before.
“Good morning.” Taehyung repeats, looking at your reflection in the mirror and curving his lips up into a little smile, you mirror his smile and nod your head. “Morning.”
“She’s not feeling well today.” Your friend Leah elaborates while she’s working on Jungkook’s face. “Oh no what happened?” Jungkook snaps his head towards you, Taehyung of course knows why so he doesn’t ask.
“The weather got her and she’s having a sore throat.” She adjusts Jungkook’s face and proceeds to work, “I’m alright, she’s just exaggerating.” You force a smile and start dabbing some primer onto Taehyung’s face, while you’re too focused on your job he clears his throat and whispers. “You alright?”
“Mhm.” A simple answer that was more than enough. “If you need anything I’ll be glad to help.” He glances at your face, at this point he’s just feigning this caring personality just to get you to do it again with him when you two are back home. He regrets his promise that this is going to be only one time.
“And by the way, you forgot your uhm.. device, in my room last night.”
“Goodness, please keep it.” You argue right away before laughing. “I don’t think I need it anymore, and I don’t think carrying it around in my suitcase back to Seoul is a brilliant idea.”
He chuckles and leans his head back, “What do you think about last night?” And you nudge him when you feel Jungkook’s eyes on you, he absolutely heard him and now the two of them are waiting for your answer.
“The flight? It was exhausting.” You laugh awkwardly, clearing your throat and turning away to grab the rest of the makeup brushes.
But what you don’t see, is Taehyung smirking at Jungkook and winking him, making the younger nod and give him a thumbs up while mouthing him. “Good choice.”
Last night right after he was done with his shower, he looked around the room knowing it’s empty since he heard the door locking when he went in earlier. He takes a spin around the room to turn off all the Go-pros and collect them along with his Nikon camera, he calls room service and they’re up in seconds to clean around the room like it was never touched, of course making sure to hide suspicious things before any of the staff enters.
He takes a seat around the little coffee table near the window and turns on his iPad to download the videos of the several different angles he filmed. And of course this isn’t his first time doing it, a quick touch to the movie maker with his apple pencil before he edits the clips, cuts some and mixes some, to produce your own sex tape.
He clicks his tongue at his own dick that’s sitting in his boxers when it low key twitches at the sight of the movie, he can easily cum again if he wanted to, but now is not the time. The tape is around 38 minutes even after cutting some clips, and holy fuck he could watch it again and again.
And on their way to the stadium this morning, him and Jungkook started sharing their experience the night before, Jungkook mentioned something about sleeping with two locals from London, and Taehyung of course had to share his own experience and explicitly mentions you.
“So did you get it on tape?” Jungkook asks and Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Of course I did, I have it on my phone you wanna check it out?”
“I don’t mind.” It was 10 in the morning but the younger didn’t mind watching a sex tape in a car that had staff in it, Taehyung unlocks his phone and dims the brightness before handing it to Jungkook along with one of the airpods.
Jungkook hasn’t seen anything as animalistic as this, of course he did see other tapes before that are made by Taehyung too, but you weren’t like any of them. The sounds you made, your body, your crying and your whimpers. “She can squirt?” Jungkook’s doe eyes pierce through the phone.
“Hey, I made her squirt.” Taehyung of course takes credit for that. He lost count of the women he slept with, but none of them squirted, none of them gave Taehyung a boost of ego like you did. “How many times did she cum?”
“I don’t know, probably four, five? I lost count.” Taehyung carelessly shrugs. “It was insane.”
“That’s incredible.” Jungkook skips the video for his own sake, totally not the time to have an erection and it’s still too early in the morning. “Do you think I can get her to do anything with me?”
“She gets weird about me telling anyone about it, but I don’t know you can try.” Taehyung grabs his phone from Jungkook and locks it.
And as they both got into the stadium and Jungkook sets his eyes on you, he looks at you differently now, wishing he would spend a night with you and secretly thinking about offering you money to do it.
“Good choice.” He mouths Taehyung and throws his head back to finish his makeup.
The moment Jungkook looks at you, Taehyung asks you again. “But no really, what do you think about last night?”
You take one last glance at Jungkook who’s attention is finally averted off of you before you answer. “Not bad.” Taehyung knows you’re teasing, so he laughs and nods. “I’m glad you think so. But you clearly have a limb from all the pounding, and your throat is clearly swollen from all the face fucking.”
“Shh.” You hit his shoulder. “Someone could actually hear us.”
“Alright. But hey, you have to have your device back, I’ll carry it in my luggage if you want to and I’ll hand it back to you when we’re home.” And you totally don’t mind, as long as you avoid any possible chances of embarrassment in public.
#bts x fem!reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#kim taehyung#kim taehyung x y/n#kim taehyung x you#kim taehyung x reader#taehyung x oc#taehyung x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung#bangtan#bts
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 10] Late Nights
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
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Satoru’s behavioral change is something that you never really expected. It seems that he’s warming up once again, even though you’re not giving him the attention he desires. He wants you to be the sweet and loving woman that you were when you were in a relationship, but you aren’t that woman. But it’s fine with him, he’s still warming up and treating you like an actual human being.
The bar is low, but you don’t really expect much from spoiled little Satoru.
For some reason, you’re not liking this change though. You prefer him as the cold and mean boss that would snap and berate you due to a minor mistake. Maybe it’s because he’s molding and reminding you of the man that you used to love and you don’t want to see traces of the past relationship. Ren is the only reminder you need, and the best reminder because he reminds you how Satoru left you without an explanation.
You hate how he suddenly drops the mean act and is sweet; professional but still sweet. He tries to make an effort by asking how you’re doing, asking you to take breaks during work hours so you don’t tire yourself out so quickly (knowing that sometimes you have to run some errands for his mom), and whenever he orders food he asks if you want anything. You wonder what his mom said to him especially when you remember how he broke down and hugged you out of nowhere. She definitely said something to him.
“Have you started sending out the invitations?” Satoru asks, and you hum in response. Even though he knows you’re busy, sometimes you can’t get out of the task of working late nights. There’s so much to do in one day sometimes, and it’s especially busy with an upcoming charity event. It’s an event that his father would host each year but it consequently stopped when his mother got a hold of the company. Since Satoru is officially the president of the company, he’s honoring his father by bringing back the event– Additionally, it brings great publicity to the company, but that’s just an added bonus.
“Around one hundred people have said yes, a handful declined, and we still have a lot of people that haven’t opened it or are just thinking about it.” You inform him.
“Have the Zenins said anything? Any of them?” He’s curious to know their response, and you try to recall. You remember the Zenin name coming up a lot while growing up, you never really got to understand the relationship between that family and the Gojos. They’re in constant competition yet they still invite each other to big events.
“Yeah… They declined.” You answer when you remember. He feels relieved to know that. They’re the last group of people he wants to see… A bunch of complicated snobby pieces of shit. He quite literally doesn’t understand why his father insisted on inviting them to every major event. He remembers Naoya, mainly because they went to school together, and that boy was unbearable. Satoru was lucky that he was a year younger. “I remember one of the Zenins–”
You can’t quite remember his name, and you try to remember the name. It’s on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite get it. Until Satoru speaks up, “Naoya.”
“Yeah! He asked me out when I was like sixteen. Really awkward… He told me that I’d never amount to nothing and it’d be weird to see him and show him that he was right.” You share, and Satoru finds himself surprised at the information that you share. How has he never heard of that?
“Good thing that you rejected him. Suguru and I would’ve never allowed that relationship to happen anyway.” He responds, and you raise your brows. It’s weird why he’s bringing it up, but you’re more curious as to why Suguru of all people wouldn’t allow that to happen. You understand why Satoru would’ve been upset– But not Suguru. You chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously, wondering if you should ask the question that comes up in your mind. In the end you ask,
“Why wouldn't Suguru have allowed that relationship to happen?” And Satoru isn’t sure how to respond. He isn’t sure whether to dismiss the question and get back to work, or to answer honestly. Satoru’s eyes shift back to his computer before he says anything.
“He used to have a crush on you back then.” He clears his throat, grabbing his water and taking a sip of it. You find yourself a bit taken back, a stupid smirk on your lips and it pisses him off. You shift in your seat, adjusting yourself so your back is straight.
“Suguru had a crush on me?” You sound so fucking proud of it, and it takes everything in Satoru to remain his composure. You repeat the question, sounding even more proud than the last time.
“Yeah, he did.” Satoru says through gritted teeth. You’re way too ecstatic to even care about how he talks. His hands form into fists and he tries to hide them from you. “Why does it matter anyway? We ended up dating.”
“I’m just wondering… We all wonder how life would’ve turned out differently if we had made different decisions.” You answer, and he scoffs. When his hands are visible again, your eyes fall on your wedding band. “It doesn’t matter anyway, we’re here to work.”
“You’re right.” He nods his head in response. He focuses on what you have to do before you go back home. He’s sure you’re in a rush to go back home to your stupid cat.
“Plus, you’re married to someone else. It doesn’t matter if I had chosen to date him.”
He bites down on his lip. He guesses you’re right. He’s not allowed to get upset. After all, he did leave you without an explanation. Maybe he should’ve let Suguru get with you.
“Mommy!” Ren yells, the biggest smile on his face when he sees you. You always welcome him with open arms, picking him up from the floor and filling his little face with kisses. Even though you’re exhausted by the time you get home, you always manage to find energy to spend some quality time with him.
As you pay attention to him, brushing his hair out of his face with your fingers, the nanny collects her stuff and says her goodbyes before leaving. It’s your daily routine. While you greet him, she leaves without missing a beat. “Are you hungry, Ren?”
“No.” He answers, and while he says that, your stomach growls. Satoru offered to buy food but you rejected the offer since you wanted to leave as soon as you could. Ren, being the honest little boy that he is, points it out, “Sounds like you’re hungry, mommy.”
“I am. I’m gonna order something.” You say, definitely too tired to cook something up. You smile at him, tilting your head to the side, “Do you have any ideas?”
“Pizza.” He doesn’t waste a second, and you chuckle. You figured. You kiss the top of his head and you put him down on the floor before reaching into your purse to grab your phone. You find a couple of messages on your phone from different people. Mrs. Gojo telling you that you need to talk, a similar message from Shoko, and then Suguru checking up on you.
First thing’s first, you order your food delivery before you send a message to Suguru. You then call Mrs. Gojo, and within the first ring, she picks up the phone. She doesn’t bother greeting you before saying, “What’s up with Satoru?”
“I have no idea. I’m his secretary, not his babysitter nor his mother.” You respond, too tired to care about the way you speak to her. “You should know.”
“I swear to God, if you said anything to him–” She stops mid sentence and takes a deep breath. “Do you have an idea of what’s going on?”
“I have no idea. What did Satoru do?” You ask her. You hear her sigh.
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll call you if I need anything.” She says before hanging up the phone. You turn your full attention to Ren, deciding that anything else can wait until he’s asleep. You walk over to him and crouch down to his level.
“You wanna watch a movie, Ren?” You ask him and he nods in response. He follows you as you walk over to the couch to look for the remote control.
“Can we eat ice cream, mommy?” He looks at you with puppy eyes, and it’s hard for you to say no.
“After dinner, Ren.” You tell him, taking a seat on the couch. He takes a seat next to you, laying his head on your lap.
You will always hold some sort of resentment towards Satoru, but you will always be thankful for the little boy that rests his head on your lap. Ren is your whole world.
When Ren is sound asleep, you find yourself on the couch, finger hovering over Suguru’s contact. And just as you’re about to call him, someone calls you first. The man that you were just thinking of. You don’t waste a second picking up the phone and putting it to your ear.
“Hey, Suguru.” There’s a dumb smile on your face. It becomes bigger when he says your name. You don’t waste any time considering your eyes are shutting on their own. You’ve texted the entire night, talking about trivial things. You just have to come out and say it, “Satoru told me that you liked me back in the day.”
“Is that so?” Suguru responds, and you hum. You bite down on your lip, waiting for him to say something else. Any other time you would be embarrassed to just say that, but your brain is barely functioning, and your confidence is extremely high. “What do you think?”
“That if you had said something before Satoru then…” You swallow thickly. Would you have chosen Suguru over Satoru? After realizing just how immature Satoru is, right now you say you would’ve chosen Suguru. Back then though… It doesn’t matter now anyway. “Maybe Ren would’ve been your kid.”
“Is that so?” You hear how he’s holding back on laughing. Finally you hear a chuckle. “Is that your way of shooting your shot?”
“Maybe…” You respond, and you’re lucky you’re half asleep when you’re saying all of this. The silence would be your biggest embarrassment at any other moment. You smile as you hear,
“Do you wanna go on a date?”
#[changes]#gojo saturo#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x you#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jjk gojo#gojo angst#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#gojo fanfic
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❝ BY THE COFFEE MACHINE ❞ javier peña x reader
summary: Javier Peña doesn’t like you. You’re too nice, too bubbly, and you get on his last nerve. He didn’t get how anybody in this line of work could be so goddamn cheery all the time. Though aside from your, in his eyes, forced and fake kindness, you had no bad features, and perhaps that, added to your beauty, is what ticked him off so much. Could he learn to like you the more time passes, or would you do this dance of hatred forever?
pairing: javier peña x afab!reader
warnings, notes: EVENTUAL 18+ smut, r! has a bit of an established backstory, a few uses of y/n but only when necessary, r! has a dog, references to narcos and thus real life people and occurrences (pablo escobar, the cartel, dea, etc), ENEMIES TO LOVERS but it’s one sided because javier hates r!, r! has an established personality, grumpy x sunshine, workplace setting, javier and r! are coworkers, use of cigarettes
word count: 2.6k+
LYN SPEAKING! so this is the first chapter of, again, a finished piece that was written nearly a year ago. you can read the prologue here! and again, this is all from javier’s pov, but i’m going to throw in some nsfw chapters using second person for the economy so, yeah! enjoy! lyn out!
DO YOU WANNA KNOW? @bishtrouille @axshadows @troubledsoul-black let me know if you’d like to be added!
“Coffee,” I said simply. Her smile softened a little, and she raised her eyebrows in confusion. “What?” she asks. ❝ YOU'RE BLOCKING THE COFFEE MACHINE ❞
CHAPTER 1: FIRST IMPRESSIONS
COLUMBIA, SEPTEMBER 1982
For once in our lives of chaos, the madness had died down, and there was no new news regarding the man who had been the focus of our missions for months now.
Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria: A drug dealer, and a major pain in my ass.
In the years that I’ve worked Escobar’s case, the man has put the DEA, and the whole of Columbia, for that matter, through hell and back. A war of drugs has been going on under our noses, and the man behind it is an evasive ghost.
We haven’t found him because he doesn't want to be found.
Days in the office have been passing by slowly. With no new leads, and little for us to do, we’re at a loss here. Can’t tell you how much time I’ve used clicking my pens or looking through the same case files over and over again, just to see if something appears that wasn’t there before.
It hasn’t happened yet.
For the third time that morning, I got up from my seat to get a cup of coffee, since having drained mine. Murphy’s eyes snapped to mine from where he sat across from me, and he raised an eyebrow.
Murphy was the guy I’d been working with on the drug cases for a few months, and we’ve come to be pretty friendly with each other during that time. Thus, his first words when he sees me get out of my seat.
He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head at me. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack with all that damn caffeine,” he remarked, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair.
I shrugged, throwing away the paper coffee cup that I’d been drinking out of. “Murphy,” I scoffed, crossing my arms to mirror him. “If there’s a damn thing in this world that’s going to give me a heart attack, it’s going to be Escobar, not coffee.”
Murphy sighed in response. I could tell the guy was just as done with Escobar’s shit as me, even if he was better at not discussing it than me. He shrugged and rubbed his forehead before responding, “Yeah, fair enough. Drink away.”
I nodded at him, then made my way to the door.
As I made my third journey that day down to the coffee machine, I passed by the hallway where the ambassador’s office was. What was already a shitty day only worsened by the feeling I got in my gut only by looking at her door.
It was hard at the DEA, Murphy and I being the main people assigned to this case, the only two men in the world who knew as much about Escobar and his cartel as the man himself.
And regardless of that, what we knew was minimal.
While the ambassador wasn’t really our boss, just walking by her office was enough to remind me of the drug cases: And that we weren’t getting a damn thing out of them.
I shook off the feelings that crossed over me then and there, and just went on walking.
I was veering the corner to go to our break room, where the coffee machine was, when I heard and saw a view I surely hadn’t when I clocked in this morning.
“Where can I put my things?” a feminine voice rang out from down the hallway, the voice filled with a sort of cheer that wasn’t very common from those who worked here in the DEA building.
My eyes snapped to the speaker before my brain could even process it.
There was a woman at the very end of the hallway I was in, holding a brown box, presumably the “things” she had been referring to mere seconds ago. My eyebrows raised fairly quickly: I had never seen her in the office.
Because I’m sure I’d remember a face like that.
It was impossible to miss her. Her eyes seemed to mesmerize the man she was speaking to, because he was looking at her with an expression usually saved for old, married couples.
He wasn’t the only one.
I couldn’t take my damn eyes off of her: I was drawn to her appearance, and she wasn’t releasing her hold. There was a serious and assured, yet honeyed way about her. Her eyes and smile spoke volumes to what I assumed was a kind persona, but her attire, a white collared shirt, black slacks, belt, and tie, vouched for her professionalism.
It made me uneasy to get so much from her based on her appearance alone. So that was when I whirled on my heel, all but jogging back to where Murphy was.
I loped back to the room with a concerning pace, closing the door quickly behind me. Murphy’s head snapped up, and he looked at me with a concerned expression.
“Hey, hey, hey, Murphy,” I said in a hoarse voice, a little out of breath from getting here so quickly. I took a second to relax, then asked, “Who’s that girl?”
Murphy’s eyebrows raised up, and he looked at me like I’d just asked him to marry me. “What girl?” he asked as his face scrunched up in cluelessness.
I let out a huff and opened the door again to see where the woman had gone. Then, I came back in the room and waved to the window. “That girl there. All the way down the hallway,” I clarified.
Murphy got up and looked through the window that showed the hallway outside of it. His eyes landed on the woman’s, and a look of realization crossed over his face. “Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s the new girl. I think her name is Y/N,” said Murphy.
I looked at Murphy with a furrowed brow when he said that. “You knew?”
Murphy shrugged and nodded, walking back to his chair and sitting down. “I heard some folks whispering about her. She was pretty popular in her old job, I think, skilled in her field. That’s why everyone’s talking about her,” he shrugged, like the fact was common knowledge.
“And no one was gonna tell me?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Uh, no, I guess not. Why would it matter, anyways? She won’t be working with us that much,” he responded.
“She won’t? Why not?” I asked curiously. Why was she up here, then?
“No, she’ll be working with the coaches, training the dogs for drug sniffing. She’ll be around, but—” Murphy explained, but then he suddenly cut himself off. He cocked an eyebrow. “Wait a second, why does this even matter to you, Peña?”
That got me to shut up real quick.
For one of the first times in my life, I was at a loss for words. I licked my lips as I tried to pick my brains for a response that would make sense.
But my mind was abandoned, way too preoccupied to give him a reason. Sooner or later, I just shook my head, giving myself a way out of this conversation.
“It doesn’t,” I shrugged, walking over to my desk. I ruffled through the drawers for a second, before grabbing the final cigarette from the box that I always had with me.
I took a deep breath as I made a note to myself to get more, before saying, “I just wanna know who I’m working with.”
Murphy nodded, though he didn’t really look convinced.
But the good thing was, if there was one thing Murphy knew about me, it was to never push my words. He picked up the case file that he’d been working on when I walked in the room and simply mumbled, “Yeah, okay.”
I sighed in relief, glad that he had just dropped the issue; I seriously didn’t want to talk about this right then and there. Talk about a woman.
I left the room without so much as another word, perching the cigarette in my mouth before I had even made it out of it. I usually smoked in the office, not giving much of a shit to our boss’ wish for me not to.
But today, I obliged, making my way down the lift to go outside.
When I walked through the lobby and through the doors to exit the building, I mulled over the morning that I’d just had. Escobar’s doings may not be in plain view now, but a new sense of chaos was clearly ready to take the podium.
I lit the cigarette as I leaned on a pillar in front of the building, rubbing my forehead as a migraine began to form there. I exhaled puffs of smoke from my nose and lips, praying that it’d ease all the tension in my figure.
Fuck, what was even going on with me? Who was this girl, and why the hell was one glance her way driving me crazy?
She was just a woman. That’s all she was. And I’ve had countless experiences with women, an art that I knew like the back of my hand. I knew my way around them, and I wasn’t looking to get wrapped up in one at any point, at any time.
I’d just have to pray that this wouldn’t cause any problems in the workplace for me.
I’d have to have hope, and a hell of a goddamn lot of it.
I was walking back up to the breakroom after I’d got back to the building half an hour later. After all, I hadn’t even gotten that cup of coffee I’d been craving before leaving to have a smoke.
But when I walked in the room, I didn’t envision the first person I’d see inside of it.
The new girl.
There she was in front of me again, the same vibe that had emitted from her earlier in my presence once more: Only, it was closer to me now. She was conversing with a male coworker of mine, and they seemed to be engaged in some happy go lucky discussion, because the woman was grinning from ear to ear.
“Yeah, I figured, why not? My dog is my best friend, and I don’t want to leave her home all of the time while I’m working, you know?” she giggled as coffee poured from the coffee machine she was next to.
The man, whose name I didn’t even know, chuckled in response. “That’s crazy. So they just let you bring her, huh? And you’re gonna train her up with the other dogs?” the man asked her.
She nodded, flashing him a smile that seemed to glare off the walls. “Yeah! Pretty cool, isn’t it? I’m glad they let me. I wasn’t really sure they would,” the woman laughed, picking up her cup and taking a long sip out of it.
The man was about to answer, when his eyes finally met mine, acknowledging my presence for the first time since I’d walked in the damn room. This caused the woman to look at me too, only smiling at me.
“Yeah, well, I’m sure your dog will do well. Shepherds are pretty big, and the ones we already have do a good job,” he murmured, looking down at the ground. “Anyway, I should get back to work. You have yourself a good day, Y/N. And good luck.”
So that was her name. Guess Murphy didn’t lie.
“Peña,” he said with a professional nod and awkward smile. Then, he left the room.
When it was just her and I in there, we looked at each other for several long seconds. My eyes glazed over her, fully analyzing her appearance now that she was so much closer to me.
I furrowed my eyebrows.
I don’t know what it was about this girl that was seriously getting to me.
She was just different.
And I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Hi, I’m Y/N,” she smiled widely at me, putting her coffee cup down to offer her hand to me before giving me her last name. “I’m new to the DEA, if you couldn’t tell. It’s my first day. What’s your name?” she asked.
Her kindly demeanor unsettled me, being both refreshing and alarming. Most of the men and women on this job worked with somber faces. No feelings, small talk, laughs or smiles. Just work, work, work. It was bizarre to see someone in the DEA building beaming, like we worked in some candy shop.
Didn’t she have any idea what this job encompassed?
“Coffee,” I said simply. Her smile softened a little, and she raised her eyebrows in confusion.
“What?” she asks.
“You're blocking the coffee machine,” I clarified for her. Sure enough, she looked to her side to see that I wasn’t lying about that. She murmured a quick, “Sorry,” then moved out of the way.
“Yeah,” I groaned in response. I grabbed one of the paper coffee cups near the machine, then got to fixing myself a cup.
To my surprise, she didn’t leave the room. She crossed her arms behind me, and I could see her looking over me out of the corner of my eye. I could tell she had the urge to speak, but didn’t know how to do so.
Black coffee poured from the maker when she finally opened her mouth. “I haven’t gotten your name yet,” she murmured.
I let out a sigh, wondering why she even needed to know it. “What does it matter?” I replied without a care in the world, looking for creamer in the drawers below the machine.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t, I suppose. I just want to know,” she answered. Then, she perked up, looking at me with a new sense of hope in her eyes. I craned my head towards her for only a second, just to see that same pearly white smile she’d been wearing across her face earlier. “Do you work on this floor, too?”
I closed the paper cup with a lid as she spoke, not even realizing that I’d forgotten to add creamer to it. “Name’s Peña. Javier Peña. And I don’t do small talk,” I replied composedly, turning my body to face her. Clearly, I had yet to get used to her appearance. I’m pretty sure my heart dropped down to my ass when I laid my eyes on her again.
However much I didn’t want to talk to her, there was a fact that remained true, regardless of how it was I was feeling.
She was fucking gorgeous.
Even with my semi rude remark, she smiled at me nevertheless, giving me a little shrug. “Fair enough. It’s not everyone’s thing, especially early in the morning. I get it, Peña—”
“Agent Peña. And no, it’s not,” I said back to her. I was just about ready to leave the room, when she grabbed me by the arm, causing me to pause in my tracks.
“Wait,” she said, clearly doing her best to cling to this conversation for as long as she could.
“What?” I snapped. Though, I didn’t move her hand away.
“Do you know an Agent Murphy? I’ve been looking for him,” she asked very quickly, tilting her head. I raised an eyebrow: She had my attention with that one.
“Murphy? Yeah, he’s my partner. Why, what do you want with him?” I asked curiously, facing my body back towards hers.
“He was supposed to give me some case files on drugs, mainly cocaine. I’m going to be working with the dogs, training them on sniffing out drugs and things like that, so I kind of need them.”
I sighed, trying not to roll my eyes at her. “He’s in the office down the hall. I’ll take you there,” I annoyedly offered. That’s where I was going, anyways, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
“Great! Thank you so much. Lead the way,” she grinned in a brilliant smile, signaling to the door. I grumbled and nodded, before making my way down the hall to Murphy and I’s shared office.
What was it I was saying earlier about hope?
if you made it to the end of this, i really hope you liked it! please consider leaving a reblog, as they help my work immensely <3 kisses!
#javier peña#javier pena smut#javier pena narcos#javier pena x reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#narcos
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hi! big fan of ur maeve works omgg.. wld u consider writing a piece where maeve takes homelander’s wife? i can so see him bringing in his wife, supe or not, to fancy events as a trophy wife. maybe maeve steals her away at some point & realizes she’s 1) a lot smarter & capable than homelander plays her off as and 2) just as eager to get her hands on maeve as maeve is to have her.
just think of the messiest trio shit you’ve ever witnessed. homelander probably knows, too. I don’t even think he’d be mad. two of the hottest women in the world are linking.. he’d prob ask to watch <\3 but erm yeah also don’t feel like u have to write major homelander bits like this is maeve content I just think it’s funny he’s like “damn…. can I join u lovely ladies 🥺” - 🐠
queen maeve x homelander's wife!reader
I LOVE THIS IDEA! THANK U SM FOR THIS REQ!!
this is also over 3k words so brace yourself
warnings: smut - oral, fingering, strap-on, homelander being a dick
the seven is dumbfounded that anyone's agreed to marry homelander, let alone stay married to him, especially maeve who knows first hand how difficult he is. and they're absolutely astounded that he's landed a baddie like you, but there you are, his hot trophy wife, hanging off his arm at every vought function.
every person in america knows homelander and yours' love story (thanks to vought's relentless marketing team): homelander saved you from a bombing and as soon as he landed safely on the ground with you in his arms, it was love at first sight and the rest was history and blah blah blah.
the part maeve can't believe is that you--gorgeous, angelic you--would ever fall for that monster.
you were called a trophy wife for a reason; just looking at you would make most men cream their pants, maeve included. when you spoke, she just stared at your lips. when you walked away, her eyes shamelessly followed you. when you looked at homelander with all that adoration behind your eyes, she wished she had the power to pop his head like neuman. but of course, you were a distant, unattainable fantasy.
homelander had you on a tight leash, always keeping a hand on you at all times and jokingly threatening the life of any executive that even looked at you with a sign of lust. of course, he wasn't joking. he had killed men for simply touching your shoulder.
he also did the usual homelander things: talking over you, sometimes groping you in public, and constantly repeating the story of how the two of you met to anyone who would listen, especially stressing the part where you were a damsel in distress whose life he graciously saved.
because of homelander, maeve decided to admire you from afar. that was until one fateful night.
she was smoking alone in the bathroom after escaping another routine vought event where she was forced to keep up appearances. she had intentionally gone up to the 99th floor, knowing the bathroom would be empty since the event was taking place on a lower floor. that's why she was surprised when she heard another set of heels on the tiles behind her.
"can i get a drag?" you ask as she turns to face you. you're already smiling at her, but not that big, toothy smile you give to all the businessmen. it's a natural one.
she extends her arm to offer you the cigarette, so you walk up to her and accept it. she watches as you bring it to your red lips with ease that only a routine smoker could possess.
"i didn't know you smoked," she says, crossing her arms over her chest. it seems oddly out of character for homelander's perfect housewife.
"i shouldn't. and i didn't used to," you say, the smoke leaving your lips in a short puff. "not before i met homelander. i mean, i of all people should know how bad it is," you say, handing back the cigarette and turning toward the mirror to inspect your appearance.
"what's that supposed to mean?" she asks, her eyes never leaving your face.
"oh, i was a doctor. you know, before all this," you say nonchalantly, fixing your hair. maeve's eyes widen in surprise.
"wait, really?"
"yup," you say, as if you expected her surprise. it makes sense since most people assume homelander's wife is just a pretty face, not someone who once possessed one of the most difficult and esteemed careers. "four years of undergrad, four years of med school, four years of residency, only to practice for one year. what a fucking waste."
well that's why homelander never let you speak—he didn't want everyone to realize you were smarter than him.
"fuck," she says, still a little shocked as she diverts her gaze to look at you through the mirror. "what kind of doctor?"
"ER. shit was crazy but i loved it. and i was good at it. i was always good with the people," you say with a sad smile.
looking back, it makes sense to maeve. you knew how to talk to, but more importantly, listen to, any person that approached you and homelander. you were extremely emotionally intelligent. and obviously book smart as well, considering your profession. you really were everything homelander wasn't.
"because i really cared, y'know? i really wanted to make a difference," you say with the shake of your head. that thought seemed so trivial now.
"it's like looking in a mirror," maeve says, literally looking into the mirror at your reflection. she had never realized how similar the two of you were.
"but then he saved me and suddenly it was all gone."
"they made you stop when you got married?"
"well, he made me stop," you say. she can see the hurt in your eyes. "because you can't be a doctor and homelander's wife. no, that wouldn't be fair to him," you say, a hint of contempt evident in your usually sweet tone.
"asshole," maeve says, the hate far more obvious in her voice. "i never understood why you were with him. i don't think any of us did. and now i'm just more confused."
"well, i could say the same about you," you say, suddenly turning your head to look right at her. "why were you ever with him?"
"because i polled higher when we were together," she answers honestly, getting an endearing smile out of you.
"yeah, i assumed," you say. "although he's still adamant that you were once hopelessly in love with him. i don't wanna burst his bubble, but i always knew you were too good for him."
"we say the same thing about you," maeve says, the beginnings of a smile on her face.
"don't flatter me," you say, pulling your lip gloss out of your bag. "i'll get a big head."
"can't be bigger than his," she quips, relishing in the way she makes you grin.
"true." she watches the applicator glide across your plump lips and then watches you shove it back in the tube. "did i ever tell you you were my favorite?"
"what?"
"in the seven. you were always my favorite. i never paid too much attention to you guys but i was always watching when you were on the tv," you say. "i don't know, maybe it was the armor or something. or maybe the way you always stood like that with your hands on your hips. i don't know. you always did it for me though."
were you saying what she thought you were saying?
"wait," she pauses, turning her body toward you and resting her hip against the counter. "so you had a crush on me?"
"mmm...something like that," you say with a shrug, though the troublesome smile on your face answers her question.
"wow." she crosses her arms over her chest and smirks at you. "does homelander know about this?"
"does he need to know about this?" you ask, turning to face her.
"guess not." there's a beat of silence. "how long ago was this? that you were pining over me," she asks as smugly as ever.
"so i don't think there was any pining involved, actually, but i remember the news would always play at the hospital and...well, yeah, there you were, always distracting me from my work."
"and now here you are," she says, gesturing to your figure while her eyes not so subtly checked you out. "distracting me from my work now."
"oh, am i?" you say, feigning innocence as you take a step closer to her. she was left to wonder, was this your plan all along?
"yeah. now i'm just thinking about you staring up at the screen," she says, entertaining you. her fingers graze your chin. "drooling all over your scrubs. fuck, you'd look so cute in scrubs." you bite your lip, staring up at her with those devilish eyes.
"if only you were there that day instead of him. things would be so different."
"do you wish things were different?" she asks, dropping her hand from your face.
"sometimes," you admit. "little, naive me couldn't see him for what he truly was. but i think i can see you now," you say, your finger poking the skin of her chest as you move impossibly closer.
"yeah?" she mumbles, her eyes obviously flickering between your eyes and your lips as she leans in toward you.
she can't believe she's really doing this. she knows it's a stupid move. homelander's literally downstairs. but you're magnetic.
you abruptly grab her by the back of the neck with both hands and press her lips onto yours. her lips move hungrily against yours, sucking and biting your bottom lip so hard that you're moaning into her mouth. she attaches herself to you, her strong hands grabbing at the back of your dress and pulling your body into her cold armor.
in a second, she's lifting you up and onto the counter. she knows it won't be long before homelander's looking for you, so she needs to make the most out of your fleeting time together. you're well aware of this as you hike your dress up your thighs to save her a few seconds.
she kisses you so hard and feverishly that you're dazed and pulling her further into you by the back of her head. you barely register her hands sliding your now slick panties down your legs.
she pulls away for a moment and stuffs your panties into the breastplate of her suit. it's annoying how put together she looks, meanwhile you're out of breath with your legs spread embarrassingly wide for her.
she gives you a look, as if to verify that you still want this. your slight nod cues her to duck down and face your bare pussy. instantly, she's eating you out like a woman starved. she rapidly tongues your clit, only stopping every once in a while to suck on it harshly. your quiet whimpers are music to her ears, only motivating her to throw your legs over her shoulders and bury her face deeper into your cunt. but then she starts to push a finger into your wet hole.
fuck, you're tight, she thinks. his dick really must be as small as she remembered.
your noises grow louder, prompting her to lift her face from your pussy and shush you like a child. with homelander's super hearing, she can't take any chances, especially when his ears are specifically trained to listen for your honey-sweet voice. you accordingly lift your hand from where it was gripping the edge of the counter and firmly clasp it over your lips, muffling your sounds. just to be safe, you bite down hard on your bottom lip as you lean your head back against the mirror.
maeve leaves a few kisses on your inner thigh as you get used to the intrusion of her long fingers before her lips enclose your clit once more. soon your thighs are spasming around her head and you're crying into your hand as you cum with two of her fingers pumping inside of you and her tongue running circles on your clit.
she should stop your quickie there. she should let you run back to the party and into homelander's arms. but if this was the last time she was gonna fuck you, she was going to make the most of it.
"we got time for another, right?" she asks, though it isn't a question as she adds another finger to your throbbing hole and you release a choked up whine.
maeve really did think that would be the last of it. this was a dangerous game after all, why would you run the risk of playing it twice?
but suddenly you're prancing around the tower more often, whether it's to hand deliver homelander his lunch or attend a fitting for your next red carpet appearance. whatever the cause is, you always bump into maeve, and before you know it, she's guiding you by the waist into to her room to fuck you better than your husband ever could.
"he can't make you cum, can he?" she whispers into your ear, fucking you dumb in missionary. all you can do is shake your head with your eyes squeezed shut, her panties stuffed in your mouth as a gag. "yeah, that's why you keep running back to me, begging me to make you feel good. he can't fuck you like i can."
it carries on like that for a while, you sneaking in and out of maeve's room a few times a week. homelander's oblivious at first, mainly because he ignores your existence most days. but you make a deadly mistake when he rolls over one night, groping your tits in an effort to coerce you into fucking him, and you immediately push him off of you without thinking. that really shocks him, so much so that he just lies there motionless, staring at the ceiling as you drift off.
you never deny him of sex. even when you're not in the mood, you usually just let him use your body or at least rub one out for him. so he really knows something's up when you push him away not just once, but multiple nights, claiming that you're "too tired."
"too tired?" he asks one night, outraged. "you don't fucking do anything! i'm out there saving lives so you can buy all your designer clothes and shoes and jewelry and you can't even fucking thank me by taking my dick down your throat? i fucking made you!" you simply roll your eyes and reach under the covers to grab his cock through his sweatpants. your annoyance makes you grip him hard, just how he likes it.
one odd time, after maeve's just finished fucking the life out of you, you open the door to leave her room, your hair still a little disheveled and your panties missing, only to see homelander leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for you.
"well, she really did a number on you, didn't she?" he asks with an amused smile. you're stood in the doorway frozen and speechless. he looks over your shoulder and makes eye contact with a tense maeve who's standing a few paces behind you.
deep down, you knew you'd get caught eventually. that didn't mean you were prepared for it. "john," you say in an overly soothing tone, reaching out for him as if you're about to start talking him down from one of his tantrums. would this be his breaking point?
"that's why you won't let me touch you, huh? getting fucked too good by queen maeve over here," he says, that terrifying smile never leaving his face.
"i mean, maeve," he says, slow clapping while making direct eye contact with her. he knows she's pissed from the way her jaw locks and her teeth grind together. "just wow. i didn't know she could cum that many times in a row without passing out. you know, you're going to have to teach me that little trick you do with your tongue," he says, pointing at her as if she's just said something witty. "it just drives her crazy. i mean, i could hear her all the way from the first floor. maybe we can...practice on her together next time?" he says as if you're not standing right in front of him. he doesn't miss the way maeve's upper lip twitches in disgust. "what? i can't let my two favorite girls have fun without me," he says, suddenly looking back down at you and petting your cheek with his hand.
maeve wants to say something, anything to put him in his place, but she can't find the words. you're his wife after all, not hers. she doesn't lay any claim to you. but, for some reason, she feels like she should. especially when you belong to someone so disgusting and vile.
things get a little weird once homelander knows. you can tell it irks maeve. the thought of him touching you or even watching her touch you makes her skin crawl. she tries to stay away from you for a little while, but it doesn't last long. whenever she sees you around the tower, she can't help but remember how pretty you looked spread out on her bed, showing off your glistening pussy.
plus it's a bit of a power trip, knowing that she held this one little thing over homelander's head, that little thing being you. so at some point, her desire for you trumps all else.
you're on your knees on the floor, your chin resting on the edge of the bed as you push your face further into maeve's cunt. you can only moan into her, letting your tears mix with her juices as you're being overstimulated by the vibrator that's buried deep inside your pussy. "god, you're useless," she says, grabbing the back of your head and grinding herself on your face. she moans as your nose rubs against her clit and your cries cause vibrations to course through her.
"just want you to come all over my face," you whine, maeve looking down to see your lips and chin coated in her slick. she cums almost immediately, deliciously arching into you with a deep groan.
the mixture of yours and maeve's noises makes homelander cum in his own room with his dick in his hand, so horny from watching and hearing the two of you go at for so long through the walls.
he only settles for watching because you and maeve refuse to let him in on the fun. and he would try to force himself in between you two, but he knows maeve would hit him so hard she'd knock him into next week. so he's content on just observing for now.
that is until he notices something. once the two of you have finished, you're no longer leaving her room, with your heels in your hands, to return to his room. instead, you're lying on your side, your hand dancing up and down maeve's bare arm, with your body tangled in her silky bed sheets. you whisper to each other, noses practically touching, about nothing important in particular.
homelander watches you smile at something she's said and he recognizes it. it's one reminiscent of the smile you had when he held you in his arms for the very first time, landing you safely on the ground so far from the hospital that you couldn't think about the smoke that swallowed the sky and the wreckage littered with bodies. he remembers how in love with you he felt in that moment, the first moment he truly looked at you and knew he must have you. your smile is aged and a little sad now, but he can't imagine that it doesn't reflect the same love and adoration it did all those years ago. and he can't imagine that maeve feels any different than he did at the time.
he sits stoically on the edge of his bed after pulling his sweatpants back up, clenching his fists. he can't let you fall for each other. he may have let maeve have your body, but you are still completely his. and now he must prove it.
this is so juicy i might have to write a part 2...
#queen maeve#queen maeve x reader#the boys#queen maeve smut#queen maeve x fem!reader#wlw#queen maeve x you#the boys x reader#the boys x you#the boys smut#homelander#homelander x reader
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Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?
Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.
Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.
There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.
The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:
1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.
2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")
3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).
4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"
5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.
6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"
So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.
Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.
And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.
Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.
Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.
So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.
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AITA for threatening to become a girl's step dad to troll her into blocking me and stop dragging me in a group chat ? Jenny (23F) blew up because I (24NB) said she'd be a shitty social worker bc of her specific autism symptoms + class bg. My gf (45F) said it was warranted because of how overwhelmed i got by the wall of text with triggering details of my abuse. I never told my GF that the fight started because Jenny called me a gold digger. I also never mentioned that I ended it an hour later by posting pics of Jenny's mom in the chat, ignoring her ranting and discussing the vacancy left by her dead dad*, and how i could fill said vacancy. 😬😬😬 Might of gone too far with this one.
Backstory: I lived with Jenny when I was houseless indefinitely. She only let me stay for two weeks because it would be too "distracting" to her studies. Jenny was incredibly rich, didn't work, and her parents paid her rent for a 2 bedroom. She admitted she got rejected from every grad school she applied to except for the one her mom was in charge of. Her mom bought her a condo in the city the school was in. She kept asking me how she should decorate it, completely ignorant to how uncomfortable this made me and my other friends. Jenny was oblivious constantly to how she made others feel. She was actually the most incompetent person I've ever met in terms of comforting other, always tone deaf and completely absorbed with her own, single traumatic event. She made constant jokes about the abuser I was fleeing and even compared this stalked to a /serial killer/ documentary she watched, but never EVER showed any signs of internalizing how I almost lost my life to another person, how that might affect me or even just bum me out. Seriously, I've never met someone else who was so incapable of even being sensitive to issues that were /EXTREMELY SERIOUS/. Forget comforting, the stuff she routinely said to me and my other friends to try to cheer us up was beyond degrading. It was wearing on me a lot.
Jenny herself was neurodivergent. She often said her autism prevented her from understanding the feelings others had, reading their expressions, and tolerating crying or loud noise-- she forbid her musician roommate from doing both. None of those mean shes a worthless person, but all of those things would make someone a horrible therapist or social worker. Oh my God, literally every time I talked about my recent trauma, she would talk about herself and then blame her autism when I told her it just wasn't helping.
The final piece of this was I had a nervous breakdown and screamed at her over discord that she was a shit friend and needed to give up on social work, for like an hour. NOT MY PROUDEST, but I ALMOST DIED. I was living with her because SOMEONE WAS STALKING ME. and I would have liked to not have my abuse JOKED about. HOW DID JENNY RESPOND!? She began dragging me, through the mud, in the group chat, for, dating, an, older, woman, who, paid, for, my, air bnb, because, !!!she!!! wouldn't let me live with her for more than a week. I was HOMELESS. It became all about "OP you are such a b*tch, you are with a woman twice your age and she pays for everything now but you are still a miserable and angry person. You are so blah blah blah you are an ableist, you said I can't become a social worker bc of autism blah blah blah you have major major issues, Go back your rich granny and leech off of her you useless, fucked up little gold digger."
U_U Then, she started graphically describing how I deserved my abuse, so I shrimply began to troll. And yes, I pulled out my magnum oppus like fucking playing blue eyes white dragon, oh yeah I slipped her a pristine Jenny's mom facebook photo and said "Hey you never said your mom was so cute. Maybe, I could leech off her next and become your new dad." Yes, her dad died.* She blocked me immediately. Its OK. It was knives out for Jenny as soon as my GF gifted me a pair of $700 Isabel Marant shoes** , the most EXPENSIVE thing ive ever owned in my whole life, and Jenny saw me excited and called her mom to buy her a pair. It's, absolutely OK, if I am the asshole. I wear my crown of thorns, judas that I am, but I really, really think Jenny was being cruel. *he died 18 years ago ** the shoes are no more because i fell into my gf's rich friend's koi pond
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The Stolitz plotline didn't just "happen"...
One thing I will never understand is people complaining that the Stolitz plotline taking center stage happened randomly...
It didn't.
The plotline has been building-up since the very first episode of Season 2.
The only difference is the change of perspective.
During the start of Season 2, the Stolitz plotline has been solely focusing on Stolas' POV, while Blitz, the protagonist, was dealing with seperate shit.
Because at the end of the day, Blitz has a life outside of Stolas, he has people to worry about, and his own personal shit to deal with.
They had one episode together in Seeing Stars, but that's it.
Afterwards, whenever anything Stolitz related was put into focus, it would switch to Stolas' POV, while Blitzø was preoccupied doing something else.
Western Energy is a good example of this, an extremely controversial episode that divided the Fandom at large... and still does.
Major things happen to Stolas this episode:
Stolas, who initially didn't see the threat of Striker till he actually got stabbed, is made hyper-aware of his overall wellbeing immediately afterwards
Stolas is told of the class disparities between imps and royalty, and how much Striker despises them. However, Stolas doesn't get what the fuck Striker is talking about, he's too busy being cunty towards him (what a bloody legend)
This is the first time the audience is made aware of Stolas' overall lack of awareness, and his inability to grasp the class divide.
Stolas spends majority of the time hoping and praying for Blitz to save him, to fulfill that 'knight in shining armor' fantasy he puts him in
He's shocked and maybe even a little disappointed to realize that help came, not in the form of his suave knight he's been crushing on, but his crew
Meanwhile Blitz, was busy helping his daughter get a Hellbies shot.
I really don't want to argue about Western Energy right now, all I will say is that I don't hate Blitz for wanting to put his daughter first. Blitz, at the end of the day, is trying his damndest to be a good father to Loona, who has her own myriad of issues she's dealing with and that Blitz is aware of. Blitz is aware of the issues that Loona faces and her fear of needles. Blitz was not aware of Stolas getting hurt.
"He can get hurt?"
Western Energy is the only episode of Season 2 where Blitzø’s perspective in regards to the Stolas situation is ignored.
And I am hoping and praying that they will bring up Western Energy again before the season ends. Please...
Oops...
Stolas attempts to get his hands on the Asmodean crystal, and he reveals, for the first time, his growing affection towards Blitz.
Stolas, sweetie, I love you, but I hate your stupid fucking hat. Maybe Blitz would notice you more if you took your fucking hat off, he loves your feathers.
Meanwhile Blitz and Fizzarolli took center stage as they mended a friendship that's been broken due to a certain P.O.S.
Cash Fuckzo, I hate you.
Just Look My Way is the final piece of the puzzle right before Full Moon...
We are made fully aware just how much Stolas cares for Blitz. How much he wants to be there for him, how much he cares for him, etc.
So yeah, the Stolitz plotline taking center stage didn't happen at random.
It has been built up slowly and steadily throughout the entire season before everything imploded spectacularly in a great ball of fire.
We are just now slowly peeling back the layers of the depth of Blitzø’s feelings for Stolas, as their NOT-breakup, consumes a huge part of his life.
This is why I stress so heavily how much the Stolitz relationship, prior to Full Moon, is told in Stolas’s POV.
Prior to Ghostfuckers, all we had were assumptions to go off of when it came to Blitz's opinion on Stolas.
However, through Ghostfuckers we start to learn just how much Blitz truly cared for Stolas. Just how much he really meant to him.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#helluva boss blitz#ro rambles#stolitz#helluva blitz#stolas#blitzo x stolas#stolas goetia#helluvs boss meta#Oops#Full Moon#Ghostfuckers#Western Energy#Just Look My Way
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Let's Dance
A Story from The Boys Universe
~If there's one thing she knows, it's that she fucking hates Soldier Boy. If there's one thing he knows, it's that he can change her mind.~
Soldier Boy (Ben) x F!Reader
1,650 Words
Warnings: Show typical grossness and sexual situations. NSFW. Amazing Soldier Boy sex talk...
A/N: Written for @jacklesversebingo "someone gets punched"
Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist ~ Patreon ~ Published Works
There was moaning coming from the next room. Loud, sensual moaning, followed by a deep chuckle.
Butcher rolled his eyes and sighed.
Y/N and Hughie looked at each other with cringes on their faces. Even after all this time, after all the crap they’d been through, there were still things that shocked them, and what lay beyond the bedroom door would send them both into a tizzy.
For different reasons.
Butcher opened the door wide and groaned at the sight.
Soldier Boy was standing next to the big bed, bare beneath a silk robe. He had one muscular leg up on the frame, the other bouncing slightly as he jerked himself off. Naked women crawled on the bed before him, putting on a show that he was clearly enjoying.
Hughie immediately turned his gaze away, but Y/N was trapped. Something about the way his shoulder was moving, the way his back muscles flexed beneath the silk, had her captivated. She felt a wave of desire wash through her and she gasped.
Soldier Boy looked over his shoulder at the intruders, specifically Y/N. “Like what you see, doll?”
Her mind told her to hurl, but her body told her to hop onto the bed and join in.
“Fuck off!” she snapped, making a show of turning away while keeping one eye on him.
He winked. The son of a bitch winked and it was all Y/N could do to keep her knees from buckling.
“Yeah, yeah. You know you want some of this,” he laughed. “And you-” He turned a bit more and jabbed a finger toward Hughie. “Keep watching. You’ll learn a few things.”
Appalled, Hughie straightened up and shook his head awkwardly. “You- you’ll learn something, you- jerk.”
“Nice one,” Ben taunted. “Limp dick little bastard.”
Having had enough, Butcher stepped up and carefully but forcefully grabbed one of the women’s arms, tugging her up off of the bed.
“Excuse us, will ya lass?”
The women bolted out of the door, plump backsides and bare breasts jiggling as they went.
Ben huffed. “What the fuck, we were just gettin’ started.” He dropped his leg and turned towards the trio, fully exposed and unashamed. His cock was hard and long, hanging down between his legs and angled slightly to the left.
Y/N’s mouth watered and her pussy throbbed. Her stomach also churned, which she decided was a good thing since Soldier Boy was probably riddled with so many STDs that one drop of cum could wipe out a major city.
“You’ve been in here for hours,” Butcher corrected. “Time’s up. We’ve got shit to do.”
Ben smirked and shifted on his bowed legs, spreading them wide and tilting his hips forward just a bit. Green eyes honed in on Y/N and she stiffened.
“I think we can spare a few more minutes. Don’t you, Y/N/N?”
She swallowed hard and sucked in a heavy breath. “What? No.”
He grinned. “I don’t believe you.” He took a step closer. “In fact, I think your sweet little tutu is just soaked right now, isn’t she?”
Her brows raised in shock. “Excuse me?”
He moved closer, his dick swaying with each step.
“Got the love lube flowing. Your little clitty is throbbing. Pretty snatch just dripping for me.”
Her cheeks burned, fists clenched.
Soldier Boy puckered his lips, looking her over as he leaned in close.
“Betcha want me to fill up that juicy sausage wallet with my massive-”
Her fist connected with his jaw and he jolted back, more from shock than anything else.
He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender.
“OK, OK… I get it. Little Miss is a prude.”
Y/N seethed. “I’m not a prude, you jackass. You’re just a first class piece of shit. Shoulda left you frozen in that hell hole till doomsday!”
He laughed again and she lunged at him, ready to claw his perfectly beautiful eyes out.
Thankfully, Hughie grabbed her just in time, his skinny arm barring her from starting a fight she clearly couldn’t win.
Kicking and screaming, he lifted her off of her feet and out of the room, slamming the door closed behind them.
“I’mma kill him,” she warned, eyes shooting daggers through the door.
Hughie sighed. “We’d all love to, believe me. But we need him.”
“Yeah,” she barked at the door, “like a hole in the head!”
Streams of pale gray smoke curled in the air, wrapping around the lower branches and mixing with the aroma of the forest.
Y/N felt like she was following a skunk.
Half a mile in, she coughed and waved a hand in front of her face. “Do you really have to keep blowing that in my face?”
“Can’t help where the fucking wind blows,” he retorted, barely finishing the words before taking another long drag on his joint.
Disgusted, she pushed past him, deliberately knocking into his arm with her shoulder. “You could be less obnoxious about it,” she huffed.
Soldier Boy licked his lip and glared at her ass as she stepped in front of him to take the lead.
“What is your problem?”
She froze and spun in place, leaves crunching beneath her feet.
“My problem?”
He pursed his lips and deep dimples popped on either side. “Yeah. You’ve been riding my jock since the day I met you, giving me a hard time for fucking breathing.”
Again, her hands clamped into fists and she let out a seething breath.
“You are a disgusting, horribly warped, uninteresting, ridiculously clueless, sexist-”
“Whoa now.” He held up a finger. “I am not sexist. I fucking love women. All kinds of women. Old, young, fat, thin-” He paused, a slick smile creeping over his face. “Bitchy sluts like you…”
Something about the way he stared into her made her heart race. His towering height kept his eyes aimed down so that dark lashes fanned out over the green of his eyes. Freckles danced over the apples of his cheekbones; wet, pink lips puckered whenever he spoke.
She fucking hated him. He was absolutely, one thousand percent, the most… amazingly horrid… awesomely… handsome man she’d ever encountered.
Fuck.
“You could be hot,” he continued, lifting the joint to his lips. “If you gave a shit. Maybe get yourself one of those fancy push-up bras, put some fucking make up on; make an effort.” He took a pull and let the smoke out in a tight stream right into her face.
She cringed.
He grinned.
She reared back and took a chance, sending all of her strength into her arm and hoping to make some kind of dent, in his ego if not his face.
Ben grabbed her fist, completely covering her hand in his. He absorbed the blow and tightened his fingers around her hand.
“You really love doing that, don’t you?”
Y/N tried to twist her hand from his, but his grip was absolute. “Let me go.”
He laughed. “So you can hit me again?”
She glared. “Maybe.”
His hold loosened and he shrugged. “I could be into that.”
Slowly, his eyes swept down over her body and her pussy throbbed, betraying everything she was trying to hide behind her outward disgust.
“Fuck you,” she bit, wrenching her arm away.
“Yeah?” He smirked and dropped the end of his joint onto the dirt. “Come on, doll.” He opened his arms, crooked his fingers, daring her to take another swing. “Let’s dance.”
Another strike defended by his right arm.
A hard kick blocked by his left.
A slap to his chest; hot fingers wrapped around her wrist. A blow to his stomach, caught by his free hand.
She was locked in his grasp once again, but this time, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away.
She sneered, he growled.
She leaned in, he attacked.
His tongue was intrusive and wet. He tasted like whiskey and forty years of captive sexual frustration.
“You’re disgusting.”
He pushed her back into the nearest tree. She gasped.
“You keep saying that, but I don’t think you mean it.”
She spread her legs for his knee, parted her lips for his tongue.
“I can’t fucking stand you.”
He pumped his leg up against her, held both wrists tight in one massive hand locked above her head.
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m about to make you love me.”
She melted against him, pinned against the hard, sharp bark of the tree trunk and the solid, warm bulk of his imposing body.
“Doubt it.”
He pawed at her breasts, licked at the pulsing vein in her throat.
“You’ll be craving me for the rest of your fucking life after this.”
Her eyes rolled; her breath caught. Her cunt fluttered on his thick fingers.
The orgasm hit her so fast, she wasn’t prepared. Her mind blanked as she came, no snappy comeback formed in her head. She slumped against the tree and lifted her mouth to his, wanting more, needing all of him so suddenly that it should have scared her.
“See?” he chuckled. “Told ya.”
Her hips rocked against the bulge in his pants, and her body shivered.
“Please…”
He licked at her lips, swiped his thumb over her clit. “Begging already? You are a pathetic slut, aren’t you?”
“Yes…”
His voice dropped to a deep whisper that wound through her head like silk. “Want me to fuck you right here? Out in the open where anyone could walk by and see what a dirty whore you are for me?”
Every speck of will crumbled and her cunt tightened on his fingers. “Yes!”
He stared down and grinned. “I bet you would.”
Swiftly, he pulled away, leaving her an aching puddle against the tree. He adjusted his slacks and cleared his throat.
“Maybe later.” He turned away and started off back down the path. “We’ve got shit to do.”
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