#yeah its fucking scary and terrible sometimes

[crabussy]

hi I’m going to get sappy for a second because I love my headmates snifle sob

yesterday night something Really Bad happened. I’m safe now but it Fucking Sucked and by the end I was completely dissociated and shut down. then moon, wonderful thoughtful moon, asked me if he could be in front because I was 20 minutes into a panic attack and kept accidentally hurting myself. so we hugged (in headspace), I forced a switch with their consent, and goddamn he was incredible. He stopped the body from hyperventilating, looked after himself, and even resolved the situation a bit in a way I could never have done. goddamn I love that robot, thank you moon (((,: @lunar-android

[scarycranegame]

listen i'd go skinny-dipping in the dead of winter before i ever even consider becoming an anti but sometimes the proship community makes me sigh very deeply and take a very long and exaggerated sip from whatever alcoholic beverage i have on hand at the time

[valfeathers]

OMG YOUR ART IS SO GOOD! Gonna go on a reblog spree tomorrow or something <3<3<3

Anywho, care to share some (more) of your opinions on Wammy's House? Saw a few text posts and they caught my interest 👀

Like, how do you think L feels about his successors or something. Or just rant about why you hate Watari and Roger (omg or more BB talk LOVE that). I dunno I can just ell your opinions/takes are *chef's kiss*

i'm so sorry this took so long but!! i had no idea where to start lmao

i spend so much time just thinking about L in any capacity,, i mean it, he occupies a scary amount of my waking thoughts (blame the autism)

so for starters, as much as i shit on wammy's and its terrible negligence, i find myself putting L & the successors into little found family scenarios & i often draw them all together

(eg. here's some older sketches of L & the kids)

now i know that canonically they probably (definitely) weren't like this but,, i want them all to be loved

i can understand why/how other people would have a different interpretation of their dynamic, but portraying L as a mentor/brother/father figure is very near & dear to my heart :'))

(this is also partly projection as i'm an eldest son who loves their sibling & wants the best for them, who also deeply relates to L so do with that what you will haha)

most of my wammy family art is for comfort! and maybe it can comfort other people too :')))

maybe one day i'll come back & explain the extent of my hcs about this dynamic but i'm not confident in my ability to like. word my thoughts coherently yet so !! for now u get art & some surface level stuff :)

but anyways, sometimes i question what being at the centre of a program like that must feel like. i try not to overanalyse L's backstory and dictate what he must have thought because i know that he's a complicated character and a lot of his morality/actions are up for debate but like,,,

having your guardians look for a replacement for you while you're still alive? that's like saying 'we're just waiting for you to die/mess up/become useless to us and then when that happens, we can instantly replace you with a new & improved version'

even if they were trying to do a classic 'heir' system where a person inherits L's position and this wasn't meant to send that kind of message,, the environment that was produced is still incredibly toxic. that still isn't good. they used children. malleable, vulnerable orphans. that's no coincidence.

and idk that's a little messed up to me.

i don't really know how else to word my thoughts on this situation rn? i just acknowledge that that's no way to treat a person and move on bc,, what else can i say? :'/ it's a terrible situation for everybody involved and watari (& roger) are fucked up for creating a cycle of abuse and putting L right in the centre of it.

and a prime example of how damaging this system was is B. he wasn't born hateful and vindictive and violent, something made him that way. we are all products of our environments, and his was inhumane by definition.

this post is getting long as fuck, jesus,,, okok i'll wrap this up by saying that i'll expand on B at a later date

and reminding u that this is my interpretation and you're free to disagree! we all read into characters & their relationships differently

but yeah a lot of my thoughts about them tend to be really sad so i pad it out with sweeter stuff like above!

[thegeminisage]

i decided to make a list of 15 of my favorite plot devices

i think they're mostly in order but all things are subject to change. time to explain my passions

1. asexuals - self-explanatory. the best number one joy of all time is when there is an asexual person, canonically, and not just in my mind palace. so far no show has managed to do this except fucking shadowhunters (and bojack horseman ig but it's not my thing). i know there are people out there who can write way better than the shadowhunters writing room but i don't know why they aren't getting on this. tick tock. example: raphael shadowhunters

2. amnesia - notably different from dementia, which is depressing and bad (thinking about you, dean winchester). amnesia is only good because eventually they get it back. the best thing about amnesia is that it shows you who your Little Guy (gender neutral) is with everything stripped away from them including their sense of self. do they still go for the same kind of coffee? do they still click with the same people they used to love? can they still fight? what do they stand for? it's very rewarding when your little guy acts the same way without knowing why. it's also especially cool for action heroes bc they'll still be able to win a fight and it's like wow <3 fight scenes with emotional stakes!! also i love that it gives us a mystery to solve. sometimes a partially amnesiac character is amnesiac because they did a terrible crime. and they've got to solve it while accidentally working against their past self. fun! examples: fang from ff13. wolverine. why, who did you think i was going to use

3. brainwashing - for the same reasons as amnesia. it's the same concept: take away everything and who is your little guy? the real little guy is in there and they are working so hard to get out. also they will be sooo sad about all the crimes they did later. example: fenris dragon age. d'avin killjoys. and okay fine one other guy we're not talking about

4. enemies to lovers - what's better than two people wanting to murder each other until they don't......always a good side of bickering with this as well. main draw tho is the process of simply two people getting to know one another in the way that you can tell strangers things you can't tell your friends. it's more work to love someone when you hate them and with more work comes a better reward. also, sexual tension. example: so many. fenris/hawke. fenris/anders. botw link/zelda. john/aeryn. bonnie and damon if the cw weren't cowards and i don't even like damon i think he's unforgivably horrible (derogatory)

5. monster under the bed character - i don't know if this has a real name. it's like the One Guy (again, gender neutral) who has shaped the protagonist's whole life who is threat number one in any given situation. Primal Fear of this guy and all they represent is similar to how little kids are scared of the monster under the bed hence the name. it's not JUST an arch enemy or an antagonist it's like. the only enemy that matters. not a bad guy but THE bad guy. if you can boil someone's issues down and stuff them all into a single person and then also make that person scary. and then also they can fight!! fuck yeah fight scenes!!! if you're really lucky this will overlap with either somebody's parent or somebody's ex. examples: AUGH SO MANY. for dean winchester it's yellow eyes. for sam winchester it's lucifer. for fenris it's danarius. for jace wayland it's valentine. for dutch killjoys it's khlyen. for anakin skywalker it's palpatine. for derek hale it's kate argent. going nuts just thinking about it

6. reluctant assassins - crucially if they don't care about being assassins it doesn't work for me (sorry kassandra asscreed). i went into this in more detail here but your assassin simply Must be compromised in some way so they can regret all their little crimes later. otherwise what's the point?? this overlaps so thoroughly with brainwashed iedk if it should count as its own entry but whatever. examples: fenris dragon age. dutch killjoys. d'avin killjoys. elliot leverage. and the other one

7. two-person love triangle - this is a very specific sub-example of secret identities in general which ARE good except they're usually in superhero media and i am really just so totally fucking over the entire CONCEPT of superheroes. anyway it's when one person has a secret identity and the other person forms a relationship with their "real" identity and their "secret" one. and then they feel conflicted about loving two people at once and having to choose but SURPRISE it's the same person! i like this because it has anti love triangle energy. lots of romantic tension and none of the dumb fucking YA bullshit. (apologies to YA.) example: arthur and merlin (who is also "emrys" at least in fanfic)

8. 4th wall shit - when the piece of media is in your house with you. i don't feel i need to clarify further than this because dr gaster is probably spying on me as we speak. examples: everything toby fox has ever made. s*pernatural, sometimes. i also had a deeply haunted experience with final fantasy x.

9. last guy (gender neutral) standing - part of a team or group that got tragically mcmurder prior to the start of the story and this person is so terribly sad about it. crucially this has to be a side character whose relationships with dead people are more important than or equally important to their relationships with the current living cast members. character deaths you almost agree with because then at least they can be with their fallen buds. examples: auron from ffx, noel from ffxiii

10. immortal characters - for the same reasons as above but also they CAN'T DIE EVER so they don't even have that to look forward to. also sometimes they wind up being science experiments. examples: jesse turner from @cambionverse (sorry jesse)

11. evil doppelganger - usually this is in video games where they just take the sprite or the polygons and recolor them to be black but also you have some mirrorverse/au shit going on sometimes and then there's evil twins, and shapeshifters, and clones...i love when everybody gets tricked into thinking somebody is doing crimes but actually theyre just out here and it's their evil double causing problems on purpose and not even being the one to go to jail forever because of it. also, when the evil double has mind-reading powers or whatever b/s to 1. make them a better trickster 2. to make them better at precision-point roasting of whomstever they look like. also acceptable: when you little guy just suddenly turns fucking evil and/or gets possessed and you have to cure them to get them back. idk maybe that should go under brainwashing. examples: dutch and aneela. link and dark link. zelda and the puppet. soulless sam. demon dean. hullen johnny.

12. fire powers - WHO doesn't love a little arson...i feel like this is the same concept behind werewolves which boils down to "fear of anger" bc with anger comes the loss of control and the devastating fallout... your fire guy (gender neutral but idk any fire girls) has to have a lot of self control or they'll fuck everybody up. they're very dangerous! not unlike assassins. also, fire is pretty. bonus if they have done crimes before either on purpose or on accident. examples: jesse turner again, roy mustang aka the OG fireguy, prince zuko

13. big damn reunion - when two people are split up with little to no chance of ever seeing each other again and then they do anyway. this is why i'm never mad when they bring characters back from the dead. examples: i'm actually totally blanking on these, i feel like it tends to happen in fic so much more often. also i've been writing this list awhile

14. time travel - i love! time travel! i love when people see an apocalyptic future and go back and fix it (chrono trigger, ff13). i love when there's a stable loop (tears of the kingdom) or a paradox (song of storms in ocarina of time). i love visits to the ancient past (skyward sword). i love when there's just an actual fucking timeloop (s*pernatural). it's really good!!! examples: oops i just listed them all

15. body swap - last but not least i think it is so fun when two people wind up living each other's lives. it's more fun in tv when people get to switch which character theyre playing but it's good in any form because what a way to get to know someone and also the endless potential for shenanigans. examples: dreamless (webcomic), your name, various episodes of tv shows many of which are bad (s*pernatural's was extremely bad).

ok, that's the list. originally it was 10, then 13, then 15, so i think i'd better stop here.

[evilgabe29]

OC Interview

Thanks for the tag @illarian-rambling

i had to go on a manhunt for this post, but i found it! (im doing Lan for this one btw)

Are you named after anyone?

"dude i fucking wish, i have no idea what was running through my parent's heads when they named me fucking Lanyard. i got made fun of so damn much."

When was the last time you cried?

"i don't remember if it was necessarily the last time or if it really counts as crying but i pinched my finger real good on a door, it was terrible"

Do you have kids?

"no, nor do i really want any, they sound like a pain. Nell has talked about wanting some though."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"yeah, all the time. it backfires sometimes but i can deal with that"

What's the first thing you notice about people?

"i try to notice Kenek stains but if im honest its probably height"

What's your eye colour?

"like a brownish green i would hate it but i don't spend long enough in the mirror"

Scary movies or happy endings?

"whats a movie? oh like a book? uhh it depends i can go for both i don't particularly have a preference"

Any special talents?

"other than being able to say fuck you to physics? im pretty good at picturing things in my mind, at least compared to Nell, that guy is hopeless"

Where were you born?

"Othin, born and raised its one of the smaller porthos cities. it was pretty alright living there. but be and my brother had a bit grander aspirations"

Do you have any pets?

"like a rat?, im almost certain there's at least one whose snuk on the ship, maybe ill have Vik demonstrate their amazing cooking abilities"

What sort of sports do you play?

"whats a sport?"

How tall are you?

" i think about like 12'4ish i haven't measured in a bit"

What was your favourite subject in school?

"probably history class, i just found the subject captivating"

What is your dream job?

"this, what im doing right now, scouting on a ship of my own making with a coffee in hand and a skeleton crew to run it"

ima tag @kaylinalexanderbooks @theeccentricraven @leahnardo-da-veggie if yall haven't already been tagged in this

Blanks under the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What's the first thing you notice about people? What's your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

[meet-at-tycho]

sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞

[streaminn]

I’ve been playing Dredge, that eldritch fishing game and it got me thinking

When you first start playing the game, catching the fucked up versions of the fish is a little idk not quite scary but something like it. Apprehensive maybe.

But after a while it just kinda becomes a new normal.

Like yeah sure this fish has bloodshot eyes that ooze black sludge but the guy at the market will pay extra for it so win some lose some

I’m wondering if something like that happens with Enid and Yoko in Eldritch Farm AU

Like yeah sometimes Enid’s crops drip blood and the newborn animals occasionally have horns when they shouldn’t but the food her wife makes taste better than anything she’s made and the wool from the sheep become blankets and sweaters that keep her warm on cold night so really it is what it is

And sure Yoko’s wine has flecks of gold and an addictive quality that its never had before, sure sometimes the juice that flows from the press looks suspiciously like blood but Yoko has repeat clients and a steady income and a loving wife who cares for her and looks after her so you just gotta take the good with the bad

Enid and Yoko have a new normal and maybe it isnt normal at all but they also have each other and their wives so it can’t be all terrible

Right?

Literally what happens!! Also I love dredge, such a lovely game

Just you wait until some royal tax person comes to check up on the farm, then you'll see some things are obviously wrong.

[yanderu-deredere]

Gawain Dubhán Byrne, Gavin Ciarán Byrne, Eun-jeong Yoo, Ryuunosuke Yamamoto with a reader who is extremely afraid of the dark, who can cry and always grabs the yanderes as his lifeline.

a/n: i feel like i always say this but this is literally me as fuck, esp with my night blindness loool neway, thank you for the request! and hopefully this is what you were asking for!

warning: gender neutral reader

gawain dubhán byrne ★ profile

goddamn coward when it comes to horror movies, haunted houses, things that go bump in the night

i wouldn't say he's as bad as you when it comes to being in the dark but i'd like to say that he comes pretty close

but guess what? he becomes the bravest man in the world when you get scared

he has an overprotective streak a mile long and he wants nothing but to take care of you so when you give him the opportunity?

he eats that shit up

so its safe to say he absolutely lives for this

lowkey is super terrible at hiding that he's not scared sometimes tho and it's kinda funny

like he's really bad at not flinching at small noises but he'll be as stiff as a board, trying his hardest not to let it show that he'll probably piss his pants if the noise gets any closer

thankfully, gawain would be the overly prepared type to like have a flashlight at all times, phone always at 100%, there's batteries in every drawer, etc

if you start crying, he'll get even braver. he'll get super serious and all of the fear in his body like literally evaporates and disappears

there's nothing he takes more seriously than you crying becos the last thing he ever wants to see is you sad and scared and crying

the kind of nerd that carries and embroidered handkerchief in his pocket for times like this!

Gawain wrapped an overprotective arm around you, his hand firmly yet gently cupped over your shoulder. His other free hand held his handkerchief, carefully dabbing the corner of it onto your cheeks to wipe away your tears.

"There, there." His voice was soft, soothing, calm in a way that made you feel calm too "Don't worry, I'm here too, I won't let anything happen to you, my love."

gavin ciarán byrne ★ profile

unfortunately, this mans lowkey loves scaring the shit out of you

the type of boyfriend to sneak up behind you and grab your side and make you scream

it's a bit different when you're like really scared tho like when the two of you are already in a scary situation

if the two of you are at a haunted house for halloween or when the two of you are watching a horror movie and it's really dark, he'll be hesitant to try to scare u

like yeah, he wants to surprise you but he doesn't want to terrify you

the most unfortunate part about this whole debacle is that this stupid idiot can sometimes have a bit of a difficulty telling between when you're just a little bit surprised and when you're downright terrified

honestly, the type to just hold you and not really have much else useful he'll do cus he'll be too panicked to think of anything else

if you start crying, he'll feel like an absolute jerk and he might try his best to make it up to you by trying to make you laugh or by bribing you with your favourite sweet treats

Gavin practically crushes you against his chest, one of his hands gripping onto any piece of clothing you have, the other cupping your neck and pressing your head into his chest.

"I'm so so sorry, baby, oh my god, I'm so sorry!" He babbles almost nonsensically, the panic and guilt eating at his heart "Please don't cry! Please don't cry!"

eun-jeong yoo ★ profile

approaches this with the most logic out of everyone on this list

also out of everyone on this list, eunjeong is the hardest to scare? he's seen the scum of the earth in the slums of lovelock so things like horror movies and monsters that go bump in the night don't really send a shiver down his spine

so he'll be calm and collected for you loool

he's not as ready as gawain but he'll definitely keep in mind that you have such a terrible fear of the dark. the worse your fear, the more he'll be prepared for it

he always has a lighter with him becos he smokes when you're not around is just always prepared so, if you feel safe, he'll flick it on for you and see if that makes you feel better

or he'll just hold you close if his lighter doesn't work

eunjeong also has the nicest calmest voice out of everyone on the list so he could talk you down very well i think

if you start crying, i think it'll fluster him a bit and he'll panic just slightly (definitely not as badly as gavin) but he'll recover fast and try to comfort you as quickly as he can

Eun-jeong cradled you in between his legs, your back pressed tightly against his chest, his knees on either side of yours, his arms caging you in. In his hands, in front of you, he flickered his lighter on again, the flame dancing like ballerina in the dark.

"It'll be fine." He muttered against your ear in that calm yet almost monotone voice of his "The light will be on when they fix it. I'll be right here while we wait. It will all be okay."

ryuunosuke yamamoto ★ profile

a lot like eunjeong except way more emotional loool

like eunjeong, he's kind of seen the worst of humanity so there's not a lot that can scare him

like what can be in the dark? a monster? baby, youre in love with the worst monster in lovelock!

i'd say jokes aside but unfortunately that's not a joke

neway, that aside, in my humble opinion, ryuu would be the best to have around when you're in the dark

he'd do his best to make light of the situation, maybe make you laugh a little bit, maybe make fun of himself so you can giggle at his expense

he'll try to get your mind off of the fear so to speak

if that doesn't work, he'll just point out how big and manly and strong he is and what kind of monster could win against someone like him? not any kind that exists, that's for sure!

if you cry, he'll panic a lot like gavin. he's not very good against you crying becos he's weak against stuff like that. it makes him wanna cry too but, of course, he has to be strong for the both of you!

he'll comfort you the best he can and try to make you laugh or maybe even try to find the closest light source possible if making you laugh doesn't work!

"Oh no! Don't cry!" Ryuu suddenly screamed out, making you flinch and ramping your anxiety up even more.

He quickly noticed that, of course, and felt even worse. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, his hand cupping the back of your head and pressing your face into his neck "Ohhh, nooo, if I see you cry, I'll cry! Please don't! Ahhh, dam'it!"

[pulsedmaggot]

reclaim myself ☣ chapter 1/??

the transitional period between sexart being a thing and korn scooping jd up like vultures is something that can be so personal. i made a whole post about the idea of munky feeling things™ seeing jd in drag for sexart and then i was like oh you could make a fic out of this. but i fucked around and now it's gonna be a multichapter! scary!!! | ship: jd/munky | words: 992 | warnings & tags: internalized homophobia, 90s-typical language, munky falling siege to jd's terrible flirting | summary: korn is in its prophase, and munky has a thing for their new singer that he doesn't have an excuse for. he'll find a way to cope. somehow.

for 18+ audiences only, minors dni.

munky knows what a drag queen is.

with that being said, he can't exactly tell if jonathan is or isn't.

not that it'd be a problem either way, because this is california and there's certain stuff you just can't have a problem with here. unless you're loud enough to express otherwise. munky wouldn't consider himself the other, he doesn't think. all he knows about the guy is that he can sing, that they need a singer, and the singer that they need just so happens to be something of a drag queen. he thinks. he might not be, but munky wouldn't know.

if jonathan dressed up just for shows then yeah, munky would tell you with a straight face that creep's- toy's, korn's, whatever- new singer is a guy who dresses up as a chick when he performs. therefore, that guy, is a drag queen. plain and fucking simple. except it's not plain at all, and it's far from simple, because some days munky'll see jonathan in dark red lipstick and a skirt that flows all the way down to his feet, and other days he'll see him in a tracksuit three times his size wearing sneakers with holes in them. on or off stage, too. pre and post sexart, too, if he can remember right. the days are starting to blur together, honestly, and it's fine because that means that they're doing it, that the days between doing shows are getting smaller, that they're so used to being on and off stage that maybe everyday's just one venue after another.

still. still.

munky has to figure it out soon, figure him out, because it's normal to see someone in short shorts and heels and hoop earrings and think 'wow, fuck me right now'. it's encouraged, even. he's pretty sure he's been taught to oggle girls before he was taught how to ride a bike. he's also pretty sure that he was taught to not even look twice at a boy, much less a boy that you and all your friends knew liked to dress up as a girl, in the way that he tends to look at jonathan from time to time. so he has to find out. he has to ask him- has to ask jonathan if he's a him who wants to be a her, or a him who's a him in a way that's unique to just him, or a him who used to be a her and is playing some type of longform psychological horror genre 4d chess just to fuck with everyone.

because it's fine if he's actually a she, because that means munky's looking at a girl with chest hair and broad shoulders and hey, so what, it's the 90s. sometimes girls have that.

but if jonathan's a boy, and just a boy, who just so happens to dress the way he does, then munky is so, so, majorly fucked up.

-

"hey, no problem, thanks for coming."

"no, really, you were great, uh-"

"jonathan."

"-jonathan. right. you guys were great, jonathan, really. i had a great time, uh- watching."

"oh yeah? liked what you saw?"

"okay, i'm- shit, that came out wrong. that came out wrong, didn't it?"

"nope. i think you were being honest…"

"munky."

"that's your name? munky?"

"well, no, technically it's- my real name's, uh, james. everyone calls me munky though. it's, like… it's whatever, y'know?"

"yeah, totally, i get that."

"don't fuckin'- laugh- c'mon. i'm- i came here to compliment you! cut it out!"

"you came to my band's show to compliment just me? that's fucked up, mr. munky. and here i thought you were honest-"

"jeez, okay. i really- i'm- i'm so fucked up right now-"

"-a gentleman, even. wow. where has chivalry gone."

"alright, well- i guess… i guess you're right because i didn't come here to just compliment you. someone wanted me to give you this."

"i'm- uh-"

"it's not like that, i promise. we're a band and we need a singer, and this guy- reggie- he's our bassist and he couldn't make it tonight but he's seen you before. says he knows you, or something. he wanted us to give you this."

"i mean… yeah, sure, i'll call him."

"you will? for real?"

"i guess i have to, right? if i wanna keep seeing you."

"i- yeah. okay. you- okay. okay."

"don't tell me i got you with that one, james."

-

admitting it to himself isn't easy, so he doesn't.

if he did admit it to himself, that jonathan happened to fit the requirements for the type of person that he's into, then that means he'd need a word for it. and really, as far as he knows, he isn't queer, or gay, or into dudes, like, at all. he'll have moments where he lingers on local bands as they decimate an audience, or someone at the skatepark, or the liquor store, or the street where him and brian used to smoke cigarettes, but he doesn't do anything about it. he just looks. and looking at a guy doesn't make you gay.

and jonathan still might not be a guy, so he's still in the clear, except…

everywhere they go, they introduce themselves as brian, munky, reggie, david, and jonathan. every time they end a show- a korn show, as they've all decided- some girl shouts 'i love you, jonathan!' at them when they're carrying their gear off stage. everyone they know, or meet, because now that they're korn they've been meeting up with a lot of people, calls jonathan he. even when he has eyeliner and lipstick on. even the guys from sexart, as hazy as they were in munky's memory, called him a he. and every day, jonathan comes to practice in an oversized shirt and jeans and listen, so what, it's the 90's, everyone dresses like that, but…

jonathan just might be a guy. a guy that munky wants, badly. and that might be a problem.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII MAC! i don’t listen to tma (podcasts r hard :[ still working my way thru nightvale) but whatever an avatar of the extinction is sounds very intriguing 👀 giggling kicking my legs twirling my hair. would u like 2 perhaps. explain what that is and how it relates 2 knives perhaps??? i am holding out a microphone 2 u the floor is yours

OH FUCK YEAH. HI HI IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT KNIVES AND VASH IN THE LENS OF TMA ENTITIES. SORTING SYSTEMS AND HORROR THEMES MY BELOVED.

ok in basic terms. The Extinction rules over. obviously the fear of going extinct. (alt names for it are. The Terrible Change, The Future Without Us, and The World Is Always Ending. which. hello. slaps.) it deals with catastrophies, large forces of change, the human race dying out and being replaced with something else. you know that feeling when you think about how the sun is going to expand and swallow the earth in millions of years and theres no way the planet or anything on it will survive that, but time will keep passing anyway without us? yeah. that.

there werent ever any actual extinction avatars within the show, so its given more as a vague concept instead of given human form (which i think is very fitting) but if it was given a form i think that would be TEXTBOOK knives. thats his Whole Deal.

the extinction IS however manifested physically in different ways in the show, mostly in the form of different technology. and sometimes it gives visions of what humanity could potentially become or be replsced by.

ALL THAT TO SAY. holy shit. extinction avatar knives. he is distinctly Not Human, but appears human. he's actively working toward the destruction of all humanity, planning to replace it with plants. plants are vaguely humanoid in shape, but also distinctly Not Human. horrifying and eldritch and scary. the first time any of the humans see what a plant actually looks like its often met with disgust and horror. now imagine seeing those and being told "one day all of humanity will die and be forgetten about, and youll be replaced with these. nobody will be left to miss you." knivescore.

this post is getting sooo long but i have so much more to say. namely regarding not only knives' need for the destruction of humanity but ALSO his destruction of everyone he used to love. the people on the ship. rem. vash. etc.

BUT. i woudl also like to talk about desolation vash :]

The Desolation is the fear of losing things dear to you. losing everything you own in a house fire. family members and close friends dying unexpectedly and out of your control. everything you love being cruelly ripped away from you in an act of senseless and unstoppable violence. natural disasters. etc. you see what im talking about here.

Desolation is often represented by fire and melting wax but thats really only because the only canon representation we get is very fire-heavy. personal hc is that it can manifest in ways other than that.

normally i would call vash a victim of the desolation (victims are people whose lives are ruined or are killed by the fears, but avatars are people who either embody or serve the entity. instead of being afraid (or sometimes in spite of being afraid) they are also drawn to their fear and have a sick fascination with it) BUT. even though he has VERY much been a victim. vash has also CAUSED desolation. its not always his fault and its never intentional, but it still Happens. he doesnt want it to. and thats why hes unwilling, he would never choose to torture people in that way, but it still happens and because of his actions the entity is still being fed. look at the people who want revenge on him because of july. look at augusta and the fifth moon. it might not be his fault, but hes still the catalyst.

look at vash standing in the ruins of july and tell me that isnt desolation incarnate.

[qqueenofhades]

I’m always baffled when people imply that people in foreign countries are so fundamentally different… it’s so weird….

LOOK, I HATE THAT FUCKING CLICHÉ FOR SO MANY REASONS. Frankly, I think my explanation was very nice and reasonable, but Lord, it makes me see RED. BECAUSE:

Exactly as you point out, it implies that not only can we never learn anything about the past, we can never learn, experience, go to visit, exchange ideas with, or recognize the fundamental humanity of Scary Foreigners either;

Obviously the past is not possible to physically visit absent a time machine, but the principle is the same;

It is so lazy! It is so dismissive of the work that so many people have done across the world, in past and present, to preserve their experiences for posterity! It acts like there's this terrible lacuna of knowledge ("stop telling everyone I'm dead!" / "sometimes I can still hear its voice...") and we just have to throw up our hands and accept ignorance!

Look, I know people on tumblr can say any old shit and lie and make up any old whatever, but I think my initial response makes it pretty clear that I'm coming at this from an educational or professional background. So thanks for explaining to me how to do my job and that I should always assume I haven't learned anything? Or that I need randos on tumblr to tell me to Check my Privilege or... whatever?

This cliché has endured past all useful application and doesn't actually represent what anyone in the field thinks. Yes, we have to be careful not to overstate or exaggerate or universally generalise or extemporize our conclusions, you know, like I was doing. But it passively (and indeed actively) encourages anti-intellectualism and that every interpretation is just as valid as any other, because Hey, We Can't Know! Guess that's the end of that! Shut down all the history departments, boys and girls, we're done here.

But truly, yeah. Foreign/different countries and people aren't unknowable, even if they start out that way. Foreigners and people in the past aren't some scary unknowable part-human entity that we have to stretch and strain to recognize any kinship with, or constantly caveat that they are Not Like Us. I think it comes, as do most of tumblr's critical thinking fails, from some misguided attempt to be Progressive wherein they reiterate "they're nothing like us and we can't know anything" from a supposedly more enlightened perspective, and just.

Argh.

[theendofuno]

okay….haii tl;dr: i want to throw myself from a reactor nuclear and besides loving this page dearly keeping it daily isnt helping me with these kinda of thought so ill start a god-knows-who-long hiatus

now *puts a music box version of meltdown by iroha for dramatic purposes* *cleans throat* pretending im talking to an audience its easier for me okay dont judge me :(

i dont know how to write texts but ill try my best to explain everything without going into too much annoying stuff but the text may have a few suicide mentions here and there

okay

i created this page in a very dark period of my life that never went away, it actually worsened everyday. it was supposed just to be fun and games, "oh this character didnt got released this month, maybe drawing him everyday for a month until he gets here will be very funny!!!" *stares at 2 years*

as you can see, i didnt had ANY prepare to keep going for the long we did, but this is 100% not a complain

i really love this page, i really do love everyone i've met, i love having this project with my best friend, but i cant and wont lie: it made me VERY worse than i already was. it made me feel good, it made me feel loved, it made me feel human again, and at the same time it absolutely killed me

having to keep this consistence everyday, having to do good drawings, not allowing myself to do what it was better for my own health just because i didnt wanted to disappoint people with silly drawings when the first week was all cool drawings full colored with a bunch of details, references and etc

i really lost my count of how many times i had a terrible breakdown or even an attempt and my first thought was just "yeah that sucked. anyway i have to work so people will have some art tomorrow!"

and to be honest i dont think starting this page with my friend was…..that of a good idea. i know youre here just for their art. you dont need to lie i know theyre better than i am and you would prefer to see their art everyday other than mine. dont worry the feeling its mutual

but well theyre a slow artist and i wont be the one forcing them to draw everyday, i am the one that can do it and thats what i did for 300 days until now!

but that was something that kinda broke my feelings also cuz im very harsh on myself and keeping comparing their drawings to mine, not only the quality but also the different attention it all got (and sometimes it was almost a 20 likes difference so..sucks to be me ig) isnt doing good for my little damaged brain. its 100% not their fault tho and im not saying it is KJGDKFDK but if im going to be honest then i will

i dont know how to keep going the text tbh,, so,, my point is that im havent felt well since i started the page, and i love it with my whole heart, and these feelings have nothing to do with uno, grand chase itself, or the community (maybe a 2% fault go for annoying people from twitter /hj), im just being a little egoistic and doing this for myself or otherwise i can go completely insane and well. psych wards dont look funny :(

i really feel nasty, an HORRIBLE human being, absolute egoistic trash by abandoning the page, i feel SO FUCKING BAD for not drawing my son, by not updating here everyday and allowing people to see the silly stuff i do, but i guess i got to my breaking point where i just cant keep ignoring my suicide attempts by drawing and keeping my mouth shut (really, my last attempt was so scary i didnt fully recovered from)

yeahhhhhhh

i guess that was it

i pinky-promise i'll try my best to keep drawing and posting everytime i can, but it wont be daily, and it may not be weekly also, but i didnt gave up and i WONT gave up, this page is my absolute pride and joy and i cant just let it go away for a bad mental day. i still love and forever will love uno and drawing him, and i'll be forever happy for everyone i've met and helped me even without they knowing, just by liking or commenting on my stuff

i hope you guys can forgive me for abandoning stuff right now and i hope y'all dont forget me. i wont be mad if you forget me. i'll just be a little sad. maybe cry a little *stares at you like that ( ◕_◕)* but dont worry. its okay.

i'll be trying my best to get back posting daily at least around day 330, but dont put high hopes. please. dont expect much. bigs chances i'll be just dropping a stick man with a heart ahoge saying haiiiii and go back to posting silly ugly art

[ifeltfree]

Yeah, of course I'll talk with you about it. I'm sorry to hear you're recently diagnosed. I'd say it gets better, but I'd be lying. What does change is that you get tougher, more resilient. If you're lucky, you have people around you who understand and support you well. The seizures never stop being terrifying.

It's an awful disease and one that is extremely misunderstood. Isolating is the right word, for sure. I was diagnosed at 16, so I know how hard it can be to have it as a teenager/young person as well. It feels like it's stealing from you. It is. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Your feelings are justified.

As far as how I cope? Poorly, for a long time, but recently things have been looking up. I was seizure-free for about five years before a recent set of breakthrough seizures (I crashed my car too, lol what a time), so I'm relearning how to deal with the fear and paranoia.

Logistically, I've done a few things:

I was able to get my job to let me work from home 3/5 days of the week.

I sleep. A lot. I still hang out with people and I have a lot of friends, but I had to accept there are things I can't do.

I spend a lot of time in quiet. Overstimulation doesn't help. I found this out the long way - took me forever to realize shutting up one or a few of my senses cut down the brain activity (I'm dumb).

I don't drink. I used to drink - probably too much. Substance abuse and epilepsy don't mix. That wasn't the reason for my breakthroughs, but I do have a little sobriety app. Kinda fun, honestly.

I talk to my friends about it.

That last point is something that I'd never done before this year. It's hard, of course, but I think it's helped that my friends now know I'm having crises of sanity, faith, philosophy - whatever - every day of my goddamn life. It's impossible to live with this disease and not think about what's real, what's not, if I'm losing time, what exactly is a soul...you understand.

Also, seizures are impossible to describe, but I try. That helps as well. Horrifies my friends, but they've said it's ok to talk about.

Every seizure I've had (barring these last ones, or I'd have killed myself) has stolen my personhood from me. I'd wake up as a different person, and then I'd just...live in a stranger's apartment, wear a stranger's clothes, wake up in a stranger's bed. After about a week, the feeling starts to fade but nothing ever goes back to that first reality. That disorientation is, for me, one of the worst parts of epilepsy. It's fucking scary. And if you go through that, I am so, so sorry.

If you want to talk about this more, let me know. I'm much less serious than I seem, and I write like this because I'm overeducated after being scared shitless by my brain. So.

Anyway, feel free to publish this and I hope you feel better soon.

Also, tell your tattoo artist what happened - they'll thank you for not coming in, and they also need to know you're not a flake. Don't want to make them responsible for an unconscious body when they don't have to be! :)

thank you for talking to me more about this. you worded a lot of this really well and its reassuring to know its normal to feel that way that i do about it all. my family thinks im exaggerating it so sometimes i question if im blowing things out of proportion.

anyway, thats terrible that you crashed your car. thats such a huge fear of mine and i cant imagine going through that, im so sorry. its so unfortunate that you have to miss out on things, but im glad you figured out what works for you to keep you in better shape. im gonna try and be mindful about the things you mentioned and see if they make a difference for me, thank you

i dont have much of a support system, most of my friends stopped talking to me after college and i find it hard to meet new people where i live. its significantly harder to cope with shit like this when youre on your own. im sure you get it. and i totally understand what you mean by losing your sense of self. it feels like everything is foggy, all the time but even worse on days i have seizures. it almost makes me mad cause its not fair that after everything else that comes with it, i have to have a diluted watered down personality too.

again thank you for this. ill definitely reach out if the urge arises and you definitely can too. im always open to talk, about anything

[hotxcheeto]

Hii could you do poly vi and sevika headcannons please if you have time :))

━ 𝐕𝐈 / 𝐒𝐄𝐕 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Vi x G/N!Reader, Sevika x G/N!Reader 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing?, Mentions of fighting,

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - Gifs weren't working >:( but I always have time for them and for you <3 sorry this took so long lovely!

They, even after everything that's changed and Silco no long dividing them, still fight

Like cats and fucking dogs

You gotta break them up at least twice a day because they're just bickering back and forth at each other

But they have their moments, talking quietly back and forth while you lay across them both

Head in Vi's lap with your legs strung along Sevika, busy doing something while they actually share a common interest or topic to talk about

Those are the best moments

They're both so protective over you its insane

You're not allowed to walk home alone at night, they're very strict about that and you don't mind, Zaun is scary at night and don't get me started with the depths of the Underground

Vi loves to look at the stars with you, sitting on rooves after roof running even if you're terrible at it and she has to patch your knees up while you do it

Sevika prefers just being in each others presence, she's better at sitting still then Vi is as much as you love her

She'll have you sit in her lap when she plays poker

Drinking and laughing with her buddies with you sitting nicely on her lap is her favorite pass time besides laying in bed with you and Vi

Sevika rarely, almost never gets days off and when she does she loves laying in bed in the early mornings with you both

You're so used to just Vi being there and cuddling you that waking up with them both there literally makes you want to explode

They train together 100% and more than half the time argue after

You love them though even though sometimes they make you want to rip your ears off

They're both cocky little shits though

Especially when someone is flirting with you and they intervene, their smirks

They are very easily intimidating to other people I mean look at them they're scary to everyone but you

The duo is hot... big scary lady and slightly shorter fists of fury over here

Oh my God

Vi doesn't really come to the bars Sevika hangs out in, the people there are annoying in her mind, prefers walking along the shops in the streets with you

They love when you sit on their laps as I already mentioned with Sevika

Literally, just having you there makes them both feel better

Especially Vi, she likes to play with your fingers when she's antsy, and Sevika always notices

As much as her and Vi fight, she cares for Vi a ton even if it doesn't seem like it much

She doesn't like when you or Vi are upset or uncomfortable in any way even though you both can handle yourselves especially Vi

She's got a soft spot for the both of you

And Vice versa with Vi to Sevika, Vi cares... a lot

And sometimes Sevika does get jealous of Vi, Vi is so much better at showing affection in her opinion

Sometimes, just sometimes it makes her heart ache and you always notice because you can read the two like an open book

And you always make sure they both feel loved, because you love them both more than anything

Even if they have different ways of showing you the same

But they do have their issues, everyone does

Vi is very insecure especially about her scars as is Sevika, one on one time with you is very much needed from time to time and the two have a very clear, yet silent, understanding of this

You're this very peaceful presence to them, sometimes just sitting with you as you trace their scars, it's a healing thing, mentally

As much as Sevika and Vi argue and turn things into silent competitions, they know when it's time to be serious

Speaking of that, they fight amazingly well together

They also teach you 100% how to protect yourself, at least hold your own in a fight if needed

It's something they both also agreed to do

look at them making progress

You're their safe space and they see each other more as close 'friends' then anything

Work partners that share the same love for someone

Two bees liking the same flower

You get the idea

A/n: MY MOUSE PAD IS WORKING AGAINNN

[the-devils-girl94]

Distracting Thoughts

Prompt: Stranded On A Boat

Characters: Beelzebub x Fem!MC

Content Warnings: Masturbation, MC has thalassophobia(a fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water), MC fantasizing about Beel, lots of smutty good times with Beel

(I like how there is a word for how I feel about large bodies of water. Did not expect it to be this long ass word though.)

Another fic for @voltage-vixen ‘s Summer of Smut challenge! Enjoy!

“How on Earth did I end up in this mess?”

A heavy sigh left your lips and you buried your face into your hands.

Right now, you were stuck in the middle of the sea on a boat that Lord Diavolo had outright purchased. Not everything was going so bad, but you wouldn’t be feeling so slighted if everything was going good either.

Oh no, no. It was simply terrible.

For one thing, while you weren’t in immediate danger, being stuck in the middle of the freaking ocean was downright terrifying! All you could think of was scary scenarios of you drowning in this never-ending sea. Like the boat could sink and you could drown, you could fall over the edge and drown, or you could fall over the edge and a nearby shark could see you as a tasty snack and that could be your end. Your mind just kept coming up with the most exaggerated and impossible one-in-a-million chance scenarios that really did no good for you.

You hated being anywhere near large bodies of water, but there was one thing that kept some of the thoughts at bay. And that was you weren’t entirely alone.

You sat on the back deck of the boat Diavolo had purchased, far away from either edge that you didn’t want to be near, and before you was the ever-so lively Demon Brothers of the House of Lamentation. In short, your lively roommates who just make everything so much better...sometimes. Lord Diavolo and Barbatos was there as well but they mostly kept to themselves with Diavolo mostly sunbathing.

Your mind felt more at ease with the guys around since you knew if any of the scenarios did happen, they would not hesitate to immediately step in to save you. Though you still hope it would never have to come to that in the first place. You felt most safe around Beelzebub, the sixth born. 

Your eyes caught him in the pool that was several feet away from you. He was joined by his twin and locked in a fierce game with the second and third born. Well, you say fierce but its clear that Beelzebub is the victor. Mammon and Leviathan were no match against Beel’s pure strength. And had Belphegor been with anyone else besides his twin, he definitely would not have stood a chance against a team up of his older brothers.

You weren’t too interested in their game play, however. Your eyes were trained on Beel. Even before this boat fiasco, your eyes have never strayed far away from the gluttonous demon. For a long time, you didn’t know if it was a crush or if you’re just naturally drawn to his sweet nature.

“Or maybe that chiseled body of his.”

The tips of your ears grew hot as the thought crept in, replacing your previous anxiety-ridden thoughts. Your mind soon became riddled with images of Beelzebub’s torso. Mostly of his glorious pecs and washboard abs because this demon was built like a freaking Greek God. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made him, but him being a demon made his appeal so much greater! It was, in every sense of the word, sinful.

You were brought back to reality when you heard a large splash and some yelling. You looked up in time to see Levi and Mammon getting flung out of the pool by Beel, all while Belphie napped out on a floating donut. The whole thing brought you to tears as you laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Mammon had caught you laughing and scolded you.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Don’t laugh, it ain’t funny!,” he yelled, but you continued to chuckle. You felt a little bad, but it was so unexpected as Beel had grabbed them by their feet and literally threw them out.

“(Y/N) witnessed our defeat...how uber lame,” muttered Leviathan as he rubbed his now aching back.

Wiping away your tears, you let out an amused sigh and went off on your own to explore the boat. You were unaware of Beel calling after you as you walked away.

________________________________________________________________

You thought it would be a good idea to explore the boat since Lord Diavolo had bought it and anything he buys is always luxurious. And it was but...

As you wandered the halls, you suddenly understood what sailors meant by sea legs. Although the boat was mostly steady, there would be an occasional gentle rocking of the boat. And had it been anyone else, it would have been fine but no! It completely unsettled you and your thoughts once again became filled with disturbing scenarios of that all ended in you meeting your end in some extreme way or another.

“Oh why did I think it was okay to go off on my own?,” you thought.

Feeling sick to your stomach, you thought it best to just retire to your room and calm your incessant thoughts. You flopped onto your bed and buried your face into your pillow. You hope this day would end so you could finally get off this nightmare. You tried to refocus your mind on something else, because even with you running through every possibility of drowning in every way possible, you were aware that you were in safe hands. None of the brothers would ever let you meet such an end in this never-ending sea full of wonders and mysteries.

You thought back to earlier and found yourself thinking of Beel once more.

The images from earlier made you kick your legs as your face became hot and flushed. You groaned into your pillow with frustration.

“Fuuuuckkkk!,” you screamed internally, feeling slightly ashamed for thinking about Beelzebub in such a manner. But thinking of him did make the other thoughts fade away to the background. Plus you may have a crush on him, so..was it totally wrong to fantasize about him showing up to your room, body dripping with water and looking at you with lust filled eyes?

....Okay, hold up, that actually is kinda hot.

It was the most prevalent image in your head. It made you wonder if you would have the chance to actually have Beel in your room and let him take you. Or maybe have the courage to be that daring?

You felt a tingling sensation between your legs and rolled on your back, blushing. You dwelled on the thought a little more to the point that it became a fantasy. And you imagined Beelzebub crawling towards you on your bed until his face was a couple inches away from yours. His rough hands were on your thighs, lifting them up so your clothed sex could feel the hardness of his bulge clothed from the thin material of his swim shorts.

The heat within your core began to grow and before you knew it, you were already trying to calm the growing heat with your hand. You were craving for the imaginary touch that only existed in your mind. Rubbing against your clit, the fantasy progressed into Beel removing your clothes and pushing his shorts down to free his hardened member. You imagined him stroking his cock against your sensitive slit that was getting wetter and wetter in reality.

Your breathing became heavy and you brought up a free hand to go under your shirt and bra to twist at your nipples. The fantasy continued as you imagined Beel dipping his fingers inside of you, stretching out your pussy to prepare you for him.

Moans started to escape from your lips as your hands worked on your body to bring you the stimulation and release you desperately searched for. You weren’t aware of it but you were also moaning Beel’s name. Apparently you were being a bit loud, because you failed to hear the knocking at your door and the sound of it opening until...

“(Y/N).”

You snapped out of your fantasy-filled haze when you heard your name. Suffice to say, you were extremely embarrassed to find a blushing Beelzebub in your room, half-eaten snacks in his hands. You quickly covered yourself up with a shout, but it was much too late. You were sure that he had saw everything. He probably even heard you too.

“Waah! I’m so fucking embarrassed! Oh my God,” you cringed, trying so hard to fold in on yourself so you could disappear. 

“Ah, (Y/N)! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in like that,” he apologized profusely. He saw your covers move a bit but no sign of you poking your head out. You whined as you stammered out, “It’s fine! I should have locked my door. I didn’t mean for you to see me...like that...so.”

Ahhh, if anything was more worse than drowning in an ocean where your body likely won’t be found, it was definitely having your crush walk in on you masturbating to him. Ok, maybe not that much worse but still! Tears began to well up in your eyes and you fully expected for Beelzebub to walk out as this situation must have been a bit awkward. But instead you felt your bed dip in a bit as another weight was added. A hand was placed on your back and started rubbing in circles. Your lip trembled as your tears fell, because WHY WAS HE SO FREAKING SWEET!? 

Yeah, you were definitely crushing on him. This is why he was the only one on the crush list.

Beelzebub could feel you trembling and his face was still red from walking in on you. Though if he had to admit it, seeing you like that really turned him on. And to hear you moan his name so wantonly was like music to his ears. But he still felt bad because it was your private time that he interrupted. All because he wanted to hang out with you since he wanted to do so earlier, but you didn’t hear him calling after you.

But now there was a massive elephant in the room and neither of you knew how to bring it up without it becoming more awkward. Or your in case more embarrassed.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Beel?”

“I’m still sorry for earlier. I wanted to hangout, but do...do you want me help you a bit?”

You shot up like a rocket and turned wide-eyed to face a startled Beelzebub, who was feeling a bit pervy for asking you that question. But to you, he didn’t need to feel like that because this was the moment you were thinking of earlier! You started to laugh at the irony, causing Beel to become confused which you noticed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, Beel!,” you chuckled out. “It was just that earlier I was thinking of what would I do if I had you in my room all to myself.”

At that, the gentle giant smiled at you, understanding why you were laughing. He crawled towards you, his face a few inches from yours. You were smiling but your face grew warm.

“So is it a ‘yes’?,” he asked, though his lips were drawing in close to yours.

“Y-yes-mmph,” his lips had closed in on yours and you felt his hands come up to your shoulders. Sliding off the covers from your body, Beel gently laid you back on the bed. You wrapped your arms around him as he coaxed your mouth open with a bit of prodding from his tongue. You could taste the sweetness of the snacks he had earlier as your tongues became entangled. You gasped when he pulled away.

Beelzebub set his focus on leaving kisses on your neck, starting a trail. He got to your breasts and cupped them in his hands, firmly squeezing them. A squeal escaped from your lips when you felt his wet tongue teasing your nipple. He sucked it into his mouth, pulling before letting it go with a pop.

"Ahhaaa, Beel! Please," you pleaded as he devoured your chest. You couldn't take it with him pulling, twisting, and sucking on your sensitive nubs. Your hands had moved to his forearms and you held a firm grip on them as Beel sucked away.

With a final tug, he left your poor nipples alone, going back to his task of leaving butterfly kisses on your body. Your body trembled with ecstasy but soon jolted from a shock when you felt a wet appendage lapping at your swollen clit.

Once Beel had finished leaving you kisses, he came across your pussy, still wet and glistening from when you were masturbating to him. His eyes darkened as his mind drifted back to that scene of you pleasuring yourself, seeing your delectable juices dripping your core.

He just knew that he had to taste you. To devour such a pretty, pink platter that was meant for him to sample. As soon as his tongue made contact with your clit, he felt you jump but he continued to lap at it, enjoying the taste and fragrance you gave off. You squirmed and your pants started to fill the room. Your toes curled and your feet had a hard time not slipping off your sheets as you encouraged Beel to keep going.

His tongue parted your puffy, pussy lips and he noticed your legs trembling. So he hooked his hands underneath your knees, spreading them further to her better access. He let your legs rest on his shoulders, all the while keeping his mouth on you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you chanted over and over as your back arched, wanting to rub your sex over his tongue. You could feel yourself coming undone and on the verge of cumming. Beel's member twitched against the thin fabric of his swim shorts as he could tell your release was imminent, but...

Reluctantly, he pulled away from your pussy. He really wanted you to release all your tasty juices over his cock. He wiped away the mix of his saliva and your own cream from his chin.

You groaned but it turned into a squeak when Beel crawled back on top of you. Your legs were still over his shoulders and so you felt your body being folded in half but it wasn't too uncomfortable. But it aroused you more as you could feel his bulge heavy against your sex. You wanted it inside, for it to stretch your walls as you take every inch Beel gave you. For you to cream all over it so you could lick it off him and he could do it all over again.

Beelzebub's lips pressed against yours and you wasted no time parting your lips so his tongue could share the taste of your pussy. You could feel Beel's hands fumbling to pull down his shorts to let his cock finally breath. His lips never left yours, even as he guided his cock to your hole. You had braced yourself but was pleasantly surprised when he sanked into you with ease, but it still raised a moan out of you as your wall stretched to accommodate him.

Beel broke the kiss to let out a hissing sound as your pussy took him in so smoothly. He could feel you clenching around him, wanting to greedily take in more. But he was fully seated inside you, his balls pressed firmly against the plumpness of your ass.

"Shit...(Y/N), you feel so fucking amazing," he said as he recaptured your lips with his and rocked his hips to get a little friction going. He pulled back until only half of his dick was inside and slammed back into you. He repeated the action a few more times, drawing out moans that ended up getting swallowed up by him.

You pulled away from the kiss to cry out freely as he set a hard, quick pace as his hips connected with yours repeatedly. The slapping sound of your skin colliding overcome the sounds of your moans and cries. Beel couldn't help but groan at the way your pussy tightened around him with every thrust. Your body trembled against his as the heat became overwhelming. Your hands scrambled to grip at something, changing from scratching at Beelzebub's back or balling up your sheets into your fist, as you feared that the pleasure was going to take you away.

The seams were tearing and Beel could feel you were close as your pussy convulsed around him. So he sat up, holding your legs up, and pounded away at you. Your moans turned to screams and chants of Beel's name as his cock wrecked you.

"Beeeeel! I'm cumming, cumming!," you screamed, but it didn't deter him even as your released overflowed on his cock. The consistent clenching of your pussy finally drove him over the edge and his seed coated the inside of your walls, a deep growl erupted from him as he pressed his cock deep inside you.

With the both of you spent for the moment, Beel slipped out of you and collapsed beside you. However, he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer. You sighed contently, feeling very much satiated as well as Beelzebub.

You felt lips pressing against your forehead and giggled before giving Beel a chaste kiss on the lip.

"That was amazing," you smiled. You saw his cheeks redden and the hug tightens.

"I-I would like to do that again...maybe sometime," spoke the blushing giant as he looked into your eyes.

The tips of your ears turning red as you agreed.

You figured this boat nightmare wasn't too bad as you snuggled up to Beel's chest, wondering if you had the courage to say you like him.

You saved the thought for another day to ponder later.

[loomis-maxima]

''𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬''

Word Count: 1.5k+ Warnings; Haechan x fem!reader, 18+, big dick Haechan, explicit language, the usual shit <3 (I wrote this a longggg time ago and I haven't posted in a while so I'm posting this- pls I know it sucks ass but it's better than nothing)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ‘’Hyuck, open the fucking door’’ you said to your best friend on the other end of the phone. You heard him groan, along with the squeak of his bed as he stood up. ‘’Fine, fine, fine, I’m coming’’ he said with a tone of annoyance to his voice.

You loved him, but sometimes he was the biggest pain in the ass. You slipped your phone into the back pocket of your jeans as you heard him approach the door, opening it up to see him before he cracked a smile. ‘’Gee, thanks for actually letting me in.’’ you said, rolling your eyes.

The boys dorm was oddly quiet, you looked around for his two dorm mates. ‘’Where’s Jaemin and Mark?’’

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows at the question. ‘’Why? Are they the real reason you came?’’ he said with a fake pout, crossing his arms. You chuckled slightly at how cute he was, although you’d never admit it.

‘’You know movie night is my favourite, shut up’’ you replied, hitting his arm slightly as we walked to his room.

‘’So, what are we watching?’’ you asked, plopping down onto his bed, sitting up against the headboard after kicking your vans off. He shrugged and sat next to you, grabbing the controller and turning on Netflix. After about 5 minutes of him scrolling and you disappearing to make some popcorn you were both back on the bed, a large bowl of popcorn between you as you laid on my side, watching whatever shitty horror movie Haechan chose.

You couldn’t help but lose focus on the movie as he reached for another handful of popcorn, your gaze slowly following his hands, his long fingers adorned with silver rings, the veins in his hands prominent even in the dull red light of his room, thanks to the strip lights that encased the room.

Of course, Haechan being Haechan, wanted the room ‘’scary’’, for this terrible movie, but something in your mind switch looking at the sight before you. Unknowingly your eyes travelled up towards his face, the light casting a glow on his perfect-

‘’What?’’ he said with a chuckle snapping you out of your thoughts, chewing a mouthful of popcorn with the goofiest grin on his face. You shook your head. ‘’Just wondering why you chose a shitty movie again’’ you said fixing myself slightly on the bed to look at the tv once again.

Praying deep down that your lie was good enough to cover the thoughts that had intruded my mind, you were quickly distracted by your phone buzzing on the bedside locker causing you to lean over and pick it up.

You sat up a little bit straighter upon reading the name, but not enough to draw attention to myself.

Jeno.

You sighed internally to yourself, talk about bad timing you thought, swiping up on the homescreen to access the message.

Jeno : ‘’You free?’’ ‘’nah, at Haechan’s. It’s movie night.’’ Jeno : ‘’too bad. I could really do with your tight pussy right now.’’

His blunt words shocked you, not sure why. You should’ve been used to his ways by now. ‘’if it wasn’t movie night, sure, but im not ditching Hyuck for dick’’

Right on que, you felt the phone being snatched out of your hands, the sudden act wasn’t anything new for the pair of you, that’s just how you were, especially on movie night but something about his clenched jaw and the slight red tint to his ears let you know this wasn’t something usual.

‘’What the fuck is this?’’ he asked, his voice dripped with venom.

‘’What?’’ you asked, voice shaking.

‘’Why the fuck is Jeno texting you?’’ he bit back. ‘’You’re really fucking around with him? The biggest fucking asshole?’’ Hyuck’s sudden anger sent a chill down your spine, but deep down I knew it wasn’t just fear. The slight flare of his nostrils, the clenching of his jaw, his eyes narrowing as he typed a quick ‘’fuck yourself’’ and sent it to Jeno.

You didn’t even have the time to process anything, let alone say anything before the bowl had been moved, the phone had been thrown to the computer chair that had sat infront of the computer desk. All of a sudden the feeling of his lips almost knocked the air out of your lungs. His kiss was full of anger and hunger, his tight grip on your face sure to leave bruises. Haechan’s hands travelled down, pulling you onto his lap. With his lips moving down to your neck, you took the opportunity to take a breath.

‘’H-hyuck.. what are you doing?’’ you asked, your voice shaking as he sucked dark marks onto the sensitive skin.

‘’What? You’d rather be with Jeno doing this than me?’’ he said between kisses. Moving back up to your lips, he kissed you again, hands knotting in his hair.

‘’I asked you a question’’ he spat, grabbing your hips and pressing your down onto the growing bulge in his jeans. You gasped at the sudden action, ‘’No..’’ you mumbled, going back to kiss him but the feeling of his fingers gripping your hair, pulling your head back before resuming his attack on your neck.

‘’No what?.. You don’t want me?’’

You couldn’t help but whimper as he placed more marks on the skin.

‘’Don’t lie to me, or yourself. I know how you look at me, what goes through you’re head.. the same goes through mine.’’ He breathed into your ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

‘’so I’ll ask you again, me or Jeno?’’ he spat into your ear, biting down on the lobe.

‘’fuck… you Hyuck ..please’’

He released his grip on your hair, smirking. He had the darkest look in his eyes, making his already dark eyes look almost black.

Haechan quickly flipped the pair of you, letting himself be on top as he quickly pulled your shirt off, leaving wet kisses on your chest before tearing off his own.

You sat up to attach your lips back to his before you felt his hand wrap around your throat, pushing me back down, his own strength too much for you to fight against. Not that you wanted to. ‘’I didn’t ask you to sit up, did I?’’ his stern voice was a harsh contrast to the Haechan you were used to.

You only managed to shake your head, his hand never leaving your throat as he pressed his lips back on yours but this time more gentle.The sweet action didn’t last long as you felt his hand leave your neck travelling down to your jeans before pulling away and making short work of pulling them off. Haechan smirked while looking down at you, leaning back over as he dipped two fingers into your underwear slowly grazing your clit.

‘’You’re fucking dripping’’ Haechan said breathily before shoving one finger in slowly.

‘’Hyuck please.. fuck me’’ you whined, your mind blank except for that one thing

The statement triggered a low, deep groan from his throat.

‘’Usually I’d wait a bit longer but..’’ he said, standing up and undoing his belt, quickly discarding his jeans and boxers before climbing back onto the bed.

Anticipating his impressive length, your legs spread on their own accord only to be met with him grabbing you and quickly flipping you over onto your stomach.

Haechan’s hands grabbed your waist before slowly guiding his hard length into your dripping folds. He groaned as he wasted no time in fully pushing in before completely bottoming out.

The quick action making you drop your upper body onto his bed, moaning at the fullness. ‘’You’re so fucking tight’’ he muttered, slowly pulling back and thrusting back into you harder and faster than you expected. ‘’Jeno mustn’t have been doing too good of a job if you’re still this tight’’ Hyuck smirked while speeding up his thrusts, his hips slamming off your ass, filling the room with all sorts of sounds. You couldn’t bring yourself to form a sentence, the stretch and the speed causing too much pleasure for words in your head to have any meaning behind them.

‘’You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited to do this and to think you’ve been going to him’’

his thrusts only became sharper, hitting that spot inside you making almost scream.

Hyuck wrapped one hand in your hair, pulling you back before pulling your back up flush with his torso, his speed never letting up. The hand that was wrapped in you hair made its way to grip your throat, the other travelling down to rub circles on your clit.

‘’f-fuck.. hyuck.. don’t stop’’ you whined, eliciting a sinister chuckle from him.

‘’Fucked dumb already? You gonna cum for me?’’ he groaned into your ear, nodding and whining in response. You could tell by how uneven his thrusts became he was close too.

As if reading your thoughts his hand that was once wrapped around your throat pushed you headfirst into his covers, he kept it there, the other hand never letting up is abuse on your clit. Before you knew it you were seeing stars, clenching around his dick almost screaming in pleasure. You heard a soft ‘’oh fuck’’ from behind you, your own orgasm triggering his as he filled you up with his cum. Haechan quickly pulled out, collapsing beside you as both of you tried to catch our breath, pulling you into his arms.

‘’No more Jeno, yeah?’’ . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .