#yeah imma post this on mondays

[seven-thewanderer]

oh yeah almost forgot, uhh

from this Sunday to Jan 5th (I believe next Sunday’s the 5th?) it’s my last week until I have to go again

[landososcar]

espresso ; LN4

pairing(s) ; lando norris x fem driver!reader

summary ; in which yn says fuck it and drops a song while soft launching her (possibly problematic) relationship

warnings ; flufffffff & like one mention of christian horner (🤮)

note ; i apologise for the one post in here where i basically just fan girl over ria but who wouldn’t. +this is pretty long and i got lazy towards the end and couldn’t be bothered making team announcement posts lol

twitter !

instagram !

liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton, and others

youruser my give a fucks are on vacation 😝 espresso is YOURS!!! tonight after i demolish these old men 🫶

view all comments

user1 oh she is HER

lilymhe WIFFEEEEE

youruser AHHHHH IMMA MARRY YOU

alexalbon …i’m right here??

lilymhe IRRELEVANT

user2 I NEED IT NOW

bestfriend MY GIRLLLL‼️‼️💓💓💓💓

youruser I LOVEEE YOUUUUU

user3 i say we wave the chequered flag early so we get espresso now

landonorris ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

bestfriend lmfao

youruser 🧡

user4 EXVHSE ME?????????

user5 i love how she just disses half the grid and then just calls it a day

maxfewtrell helllll yeah

user6 maybe she’s never on the podium because she focuses more or singing than racing

user7 or because she’s in a fucking ALPINE

user8 y’all were SILENT when lh44 released music but suddenly it’s a problem when y/n does it

maxverstappen im not that old

youruser yeah okay grandpa

imessages !

twitter !

instagram !

liked by landonorris, f1, and others

youruser i kissed @bestfriend in the club bathroom

view all comments

user1 IS THAT A MANNNN

youruser i sincerely apologise 😔

user2 guys do we think that’s mr espresso

bestfriend KISS ME AGAIN, FUCK *****

youruser omg don’t expose him😭

youruser but hell yeah come here gf😻😻😘

estebanocon my f1 teammate or my fav singer ?

youruser me when i’m both

user3 THE INITIAL NECKLACE ????? L?????

user4 omg y/n’s boyfie driving a mercedes ??? Y/N TO MERCEDES 2024‼️‼️‼️‼️

maxverstappen1 stream espresso

bestfriend yasss grandpa !!!

maxverstappen1 omg i try to do one thing nice and suddenly i’m catching strays

user5 IM WORKING LATTEEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGGERRRRR OH HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEEEE WRAPPED ROUND MY FINGEERRRRR

liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and others

landonorris can’t sleep

view all comments

user1 “SAY YOU CANT SLEEP BABY I KNOW THATS THAT ME ESPRESSO” LANDO NORRIS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

user2 THE SOFT LAUNCH IN THE SECOND PIC TOO OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

user3 oh hes definitely always streaming espresso

maxverstappen1 what kind of thirst trap post is this mate

landonorris for her eyes only😁

bestfriend but you posted on the main ?

youruser UHM

youruser 💓💓💓💕🧡💘🖤💖🩷💞💙💗🖤💗🩷💝🩷❤️💕💚🤎🩷💕💜💖🖤❣️🩷💕❤️💜🤍💚🩷🧡🩵💛🤍🧡❤️💕💛💚💕💘🩷💞❤️💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

landonorris what happened to the soft launch baby

youruser you’re too hot i need people to know your MINE😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😘😘😘💓💓

youruser do you think about me every night😁😁😝

user4 oh she’s gone insane

user5 THE EMOJIS IM PISSING MYSELF SOMEONE SEDATE HER

bestfriend girl get UP

bestfriend what have you done to my gf

landonorris MYYYYY girlfriend🥰🥰🥰🥰

bestfriend bite me bitch

bereal !

caption: my two fav f1 drivers (excluding estie ofc🫶)

instagram !

liked by landonorris, estebanocon, and others

youruser unfortunately, i was too hot for the car this week, we’ll get those old men next week 🫶

view all comments

user1 SHES FUCKING HILARIOUS

user2 maybe if she stopped making music and focused more on racing she wouldn’t have dnfed

landonorris the car had a issue with its breaks ? how was she gonna fix that. explain quick pls coz you’re an expert

user3 LANDO DEFENDING HER IMMA SOB

bestfriend babe you need a car that can handle hot sexy you are 😫😫 i don’t wake up at 3am on a monday morning to watch you nearly die 😝

youruser my sincerest apologies ma’am 🫡

bestfriend i love you tho🫶🫶

youruser if you really loved me you’d come to the race next week ??

youruser WAS I JUST AIRED

lilymhe we’ll ignore this week !! podium coming next week for my girl i can feel it

youruser 💓💓

user4 i can’t believe her and lando are dating, so unprofessional

landonorris GAHHHH I LOVE YOUUUUU

youruser STOP IT ILL CRY 💞💞💞 MY LOVE🥰

user5 surely her dating an opponent is bad for business

imessages !

twitter !

instagram !

liked by georgerussell, maxfewtrell, and others

landonorris apparently is bad for business? sorry y/n/n’s pr team ig 🙏🤷‍♂️ but stream my girl’s new song‼️‼️

view all comments

youruser RIAAAAAAAA

user1 two tit pics in a row omg !?

youruser BABY IVE MISSED YOU COME SEE ME

landonorris 💓💓

youruser GIRL NO I WAS TALKING TO RIA SKRJSKJDJFKS

riabish STOP I LOVE YOU

landonorris wtf😭😭😭

user2 if ria has 0 fans, y/n is dead

youruser RIA PLS COME TO THE NEXT RACE I AM BEGGINGGGGGGGG

youruser make up some sort of reason and pretend quadrant need to come but then i’ll send you (and only you��) an alpine pass 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

riabish my boss hasn’t planned a quadrant race visit for a couple more races babe😔

youruser JUST SENT YOU FLIGHT DETAILS ILL PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT WITH YOUR PADDOCK PASS

riabish MARRY ME

youruser FUCK YES AJDKSJAHHAHAH

landonorris guys i think i just lost my gf on a post i made dedicated to her

youruser yeah but you posted a pic of ria, so who was i actually paying attention to ??

youruser i love you so so sooooo much (im actually talking to you this time)

landonorris luv u 2 i guess

youruser nah wtf boutta unrelease this song

user3 what did we just witness

estebanocon you guys are insane

user4 omg bad for business is another banger

user5 when y/n can’t choose between f1 and singing so she just fucking EATS both

maxfewtrell when you ask y/n about her fav quadrant member and you expect her to say lando but you’re stupid and it’s ria without second thought

youruser you’re a close second place max🫶

landonorris wtf am i?? chopped liver?????

instagram stories !

landonorris & youruser added to their story

instagram !

liked by georgerussell, estebanocon, and others

youruser alpine ❤️ all 4 years that i’ve spent in formula 1 have been spent at this team and i now call everyone at the headquarters, garages, and races, family. thank you to everyone who’s made an impact to my life in any kind of way no matter how big or small, i appreciate it more than you will ever know. @estebanocon, thank you for being the best teammate i could ever ever everrrr ask for, you have grown with me and taught me so so many things. we’ve shared more laughs than probably any other teammates and moving to different teams will definitely not stop that.

there’s still the rest of the year until the end of this era and i know we’ll make the most of it. i’ll always remember alpine as the team that brought me in and made me the woman that i am today. the end of this season will definitely be tough but if it wasn’t sad then it would mean there was nothing to miss.

let’s have an amazing rest of the year, i love alpine and will never forget the time ive spent here 💙🩷💙🩷

view all comments

user1 IM SOBBING

user2 omg she loves alpine so much this is devastating why would they not re-sign her😭😭😭😭😭

user3 they couldn’t afford to re-sign both her AND esteban, mercedes offered her A LOT more money

landonorris so so so proud of you my love 💓💓

youruser 🫶🧡🧡

f1 never forget the first alpine driver line up after renault… keep pushing y/n!!

user4 ohhh she’s gonna EAATTT at mercedes

estebanocon going to send a mor private text to you now but thank you for everything y/n/n 🩷💙 (you’re also my favourite f1 driver)

lewishamilton ❤️❤️

lilymhe 💓

user5 omg the y/n to merc rumours were true

user6 it’s not even been confirmed yet lmfao for all we know she could’ve just got sacked by alpine and no one wants to pick her up

bestfriend soooo proud of you my girl 💞💞💞💞

riabish prouder than words can explain 🫶

twitter !

instagram !

liked by landonorris, bestfriend, and others

youruser HE FUCKING DID IT !!:!;&/&”!/!;”929/ MY BOYFRIEND IS A RACE WINNER AND IM SOBBING OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH LOOK HOW HAPPY😁

view all comments

user1 GIRL F1 AND MERCEDES JUST ANNOUNCED YOUR MOVE AND YOURE POSTING THIS LMFAOOO

landonorris WE DID IT BABY AHHHSHDHHAKA

youruser YOU DID IT MY LOVEEDJJRKEKR💓💓💓🧡💓🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰😻😻😻😻😻

user2 she’s so funny for just ignoring her merc move announcement 😭😭 she dgaf

user3 boyfie WON she doesn’t give a shit about mercedes rn, give her like 24 hours

bestfriend does this mean i can’t call him no wins anymore

riabish right!?? like, the one gp we go to and he has to go and steal our focus from our girl coz we gotta care about him at least a little bit

bestfriend exactly.. he’s so selfish like wtf

landonorris im so very very sorry

user4 FINALLYYYYYY

maxfewtrell 🧡🧡

youruser guys yes i know they announced my mercedes move! why are y’all acting like you didn’t know about it last week tho😭 i saw the tweets

[anime-grimmy-art]

You know, I actually did make myself an upload schedule, but I already promised myself to finally post that Trigun comic Ive been pushing back on Sunday, but at the same time I gotta drop this or Imma not be able to concentrate on that paper I hafta write til Monday.

And, so, here we are, my Paya and Tauro headcanons post cos my brain went into overdrive again. These two just fit perfectly in that “Important enough characters to get some background info and feel for their personality, but literally leaves enough open to just dump thousands of hcs on them” category. So, yeah, after thinking and flashing them out in my mind a lot, and eventually thinking about their relationship, made me think up a looooot.

Long rambling will be in a reblog

btw, leave doggie name suggestions

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 58 Welp Posting

Hello kind void. Short (for me) yap this time... it's mostly just pain this chapter, after all. So much pain.

Very rough TL of the editor's notes:

First page: 漆羽の命滅契約は一体…? [Uruha no meimetsu keiyaku ha ittai...?!, What in the world happened to Uruha's lifelong contract...!?] Last page: 信念のもと漆羽を殺めた座村を前に… [Shinen no moto Uruha wo ayameta Samura wo maeni..., Standing in front of Samura, who killed Uruha due to his conviction...] Google Translate or DeepL can probably do better than me on this one, so go ahead and copy/paste that text into one of those instead for a better idea. Just note that 漆羽 (Uruha) usually gets auto-translated to "Urushiba" and 座村 (Samura) to "Zamura".

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Pregame Mini Meta Rant: If I hear a SINGLE complaint about how many panels were reused this chapter Imma get heated. Yeah, there's been a lot of copy-crop-paste stuff going on in the past two weeks. This chapter alone re-used Hakuri's exhausted seal pose four times. But the major scenes still hit hard as fuck and the new art is holding up. Let the author do what it takes to avoid burnout and health issues just as his series is getting the major promotion treatment, okay? Dude's had to do a lot of extra work recently with the cover and colour pages in addition to the usual volume redraws and accompanying filler sketches/doodles.

These chapters were probably being written and drawn about the same time as the extra materials. It's not like the author starts drawing on Monday and sends the chapter out by Friday so it can be published Sunday- they're finished weeks in advance before they're released. I recommend checking out a short manga called The Right Way to Make JUMP! by Takeshi Sakurai if the practical details of getting manga out to thousands of readers in both print & digital simultaneously every week seem interesting!

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Uruha vs. Samura

I interrupt this ramble before it even begins to do a little celebratory dance. I got most of what I yapped about last chapter right for once! Yay! ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ I won't have to recap the Samura motivation/mindset yap with the new information! (This will probably never happen again.)

Anyway...

Let's start with this because fuck it was so cool and sad.

I love how every character in this manga holds fast to their convictions, man. But I didn't expect Samura to be so cold about killing his former apprentice y'know?! Not even a hint of remorse from this guy. Between this and the subdued greeting Uruha gave him, the lack of warmth in their dialogue together... I wonder if they had a positive relationship. Uruha certainly respected Samura's skills but the contrast between how he thinks about Kunishige and the man who presumably taught him everything he knows about fighting is striking, isn't it? He was pretty unemotional about having to duel his master to the death despite being such an emotive guy. Yet now we'll probably never know... (sigh).

Here's something I missed on my first read: Samura didn't use Tobimune to face Uruha; he was just the quicker draw with a regular katana.

His sword is closer to being sheathed, while Uruha's sword is still farther out.

In case anyone still wants to believe that Uruha is alive or can come back somehow after this... more power to you. The Sojo copers can probably give you some tips if you need them. But there is one small smidgen of comfort to be had, if one wants to interpret it as such.

Not using Tobimune can be read as respecting Uruha's determination and facing him on equal footing. I know he unnecessarily double-tapped Uruha when he was laying on the ground- he didn't need to slash the guy again with Tobimune to make the kill. I get it, the Enchanted Blades are tools of death. Just let me have this. I need it.

Uruha deserved better. He deserve to live, dammit. I didn't get nearly enough of him. But what a way to go. Standing up for what you believe, your dead (boy)friend's last words telling you to live no matter what running through your head. Fighting for your life to honor his wish even though it's a completely lost cause... fuck what a tragic character. He was such a passionate guy despite the losses he suffered. Uruha, man... I really wanted to spend more time with him, but I guess all we'll get of him are flashbacks about him from other people or during scenes recounting what happened in the war.

The worst part of saying goodbye is that it felt like we had so much more to see and learn about him. His story's incomplete but it's over all the same. That's what hurts most when authors kill these characters- the sense of real loss because of all the loose ends. Anything we learn about him will be retroactive for context. No more growth, no more silly faces... damn you Samura...! Fuck this author makes good villains in a short span of time.

Whatever incident was covered up 18 years ago has to be incredibly awful to drive Samura to become an avenger for the truth. I'm talking "establishing a whole fucking international court system to process it for over a decade" levels of bad. Which it may well be, if this flashback from Sojo's PoV in chapter 8 remains unchanged when we revisit it for context:

Hello, probable war crimes.

Yeah I'm banking on that mystery kid being Magatsumi's current wielder. Whether he was a child soldier or picked up the sword by accident somehow, this might be the clue to The Incident that turned Samura against his allies. The point about how anyone can use the Enchanted Blades is made repeatedly during and after the Sojo arc- why not a child? Covering up a massacre like that would be in a lot of people's interests.

Unfounded spitball theories aside, now that Hakuri and Chihiro are both clued in that some real bad shit went down, we can expect to learn more about it. Hopefully sooner rather than later because I'll definitely be judging the shit outta Samura based on how awful it is. I'm very interested in his moral dilemma but I've got unreasonably high standards as to what kind of event could drive someone to do something so awful (in fiction, at least). IRL people are messy, but fiction demands justification. And the way this incident is being hyped up makes me believe it's different from the other horrors of war sinking in and slowly driving someone to resent everything they did for the cause. Whatever the Bearers and the Kamunabi covered up is going to cast them all -Kunishige included- in an extremely unflattering light.

Burnout

He just looks so cute being carried like that even though he's so exhausted and roughed up…

... Yeah. Poor Hakuri.

I won't take up as much space here as I want to yapping about him because most of it's just retreads of things I've been saying for weeks already. But man. Man.

This guy awoke to his powers, killed his dad and brothers, put an end to his family's cruelty, saved a bunch of lives at great risk to himself, passed out, and woke up to try and do this crazy mission with Chihiro all in just over 24 hours. He's so fried he fell asleep while being carried piggy-back and can't even move any more! But he's still kicking himself for not summoning Kumeyuri for Uruha when he had enough adrenaline to sort of stand up on his own. Never mind the brain haemorrhage- he's got lives to save. Ms. Makizumi's words about pushing himself too hard being dangerous just go in one ear and out the other. These people want him to care about himself for the mission and because he deserves it but he just refuses to take it to heart...

Then the person he promised to protect is killed in front of him right after he made it his life's mission to prevent exactly this sort of scenario.

Fuck.

Can't even turn this into a ship moment I'm so bent out of shape. Someone strip me of my fudanshi creds.

It looks like Hakuri did summon Chihiro in a panic after all- he couldn't even call out to Uruha so reaching for Chihiro instead was his first instinct. He just wasn't fast enough because his body and mind are on the brink of totally shutting down. If he's truly unable to use sorcery again after finally gaining his own strength at long last... oh, that will hurt so bad. I'm not ready for how hard Hakuri's going to be on himself when he eventually wakes up despite doing his very best.

Hakuri's gonna be out of commission for sure after this event.

I'm close to 100% positive he'll temporarily lose his powers now. If it comes to be, then Kagurabachi will have passed my bullshit "don't say they'll die if the consequences don't match up to the risk" test. Being paralyzed and powerless for a while is good enough to convince me that death really was a possible outcome. See, it's really that easy. Totally not unfair and arbitrary.

Regardless, there's a lot of suffering ahead for Chihiro and Hakuri. Not only did all of this shit go down the day right after the Rakuzaichi, but there's still whatever the blood test will reveal hanging out there... the political and practical price of this failure with the Kamunabi... processing the guilt of not being able to save a life... coming to terms with how much they don't know... so much has happened to them in a short 24-ish hours, huh? And neither of them have anything good to look forward to in the short-term.

I gotta wonder what Hakuri will do this arc if he's literally unable to move for a while. His PoV gave us the info that there was a specific incident that was covered up, but that doesn't mean he'll be involved in that plot line. But let's save that stress for another time- gotta see how badly he fucked himself up and how things shake out between Chihiro and Samura first.

Chihiro vs. Samura

(Ch. 50) A long-awaited reunion.

What will go down next week? I'm sure as hell not gonna try to guess. Could be anything from casual conversation to an actual skirmish. At least one thing will definitely not happen though.

Neither Chihiro nor Samura are dying here. Chihiro cannot die until the last fight in the series is finished, so that's out (boo joyless nerd take no fun booooooo). Samura's simply too strong to go down to an exhausted Chihiro and we still have to learn the history behind his motives. So he's gonna stick around for a bit longer to cause trouble. Wouldn't be surprised if he's the arc boss! Hiruhiko's got his own training arc ahead of him and all (and some arms to reattach), so he'll be more of a recurring villain than someone to defeat as a character growth moment for now. It's looking like Samura vs. Chihiro for the foreseeable future IMO.

If I can reveal a selfish hope, I want Samura facepalming Chihiro and feeling the scar to be the means of getting insight on how he feels about Chihiro's situation. Samura's probably the one who tipped off the Hishaku about Kunishige's location thanks to accidentally finding out when Momma Shiba took Chihiro to the local festival. Oh boy, if Chihiro learns that Samura was the one that sold him and his dad out... that would be some incredibly potent angst. His hero, a monster? Say it ain't so. Would have told you sooner if I could, Chihiro.

Hm, Kunishige and the Bearers who were entrusted with his vision...

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 9)

(Chapter 58)

I feel confident in thinking that Samura is basically Bad End Chihiro now. He's been tormented by guilt for nearly two decades and has decided to do everything himself. He'll kill his former comrades and the Hishaku or go down swinging- and kill himself if he actually succeeds. He's on a doomed mission to scorch the earth and take out as much evil as he can. All scum go to hell! Including the guy who's so mired in grief that he does a lot of murder to cope. Those scars of his don't look like tear tracks in some shots for nothin'. (Wait, wasn't I talking about Chihiro for a bit there?)

Chihiro's well on his way to following Samura's path already... he's not the type to kill his comrades, but he's definitely got the "guilty sinning avenger" thing going on strong. So if Samura is Chihiro's "Bad End", what will he force Chihiro to realize? Every major foe reflects a part of Chihiro back at himself and forces him to answer difficult questions, after all. Sojo- forced him to accept that there are multiple ways to interpret and use his dad's legacy

Kyora- forced him to look at his own devotion to his dad's legacy and admit he doesn't know as much as he needs to

Hiruhiko (round 1)- forced him to admit that he thinks of himself as a monster for the lengths he's willing to go to

As for Samura, I think it'll be along the lines of "is it necessary or justifiable to sin and/or commit oneself hell for the sake of a cause?". Maybe "can I be redeemed at all?" (or if redemption is even necessary in the first place). Legitimately can't wait to see what goes down between them next week to get more clues! God I love this manga so much. I haven't been so consistently engaged week to week like this in ages.

...One last thought. This is probably looking too far ahead as an angst merchant and I was rightly rebuked for mentioning it. I should know better than to share the worthless depressing bullshit that goes on in my head. But these posts are supposed to just be some yaps into an ambivalent abyss so... sorry, kind internet void, but you get some of my depresso espresso.

"The least I can do is refrain from causing harm to others and take you Hishaku bastards to hell with me." - Chihiro (ch. 53)

With all the deliberate parallels drawn between Samura->Chihiro and Uruha->Hakuri, I wouldn't be surprised if our favourite protagonist/deuteragonist pair has the same exchange later down the line. Definitely not under similar circumstances! I can imagine scenarios where Chihiro is trying to kill Hakuri but they're so far removed from canon that they make absolutely zero sense.

But there could well be a time where Chihiro decides to leave because he really does need to bear this burden alone and Hakuri tries to call him out on the ridiculousness of that mindset. I think it would be a happier result for Chihiro and Hakuri compared to Samura and Uruha if only because Chihiro isn't as far gone as the blind traitor rat is. But yeah I'm just sticking that in my back pocket to see if it manifests in the future.

Time to write some hurt/comfort and hope canon eases up on the pain soon. It's either that or setting up a bingo sheet with all the angst scenarios I've got written down in my drafts and notes... I choose the one that I can create my own happy ending for. Until next time, dear void.

[scarlet-stu-dies]

23. 10. 2024

okay so i know i forgot to post for a few days 😭 so here's what happened:

19/10: saturday

first dissection!! AND I VOLUNTEERED AT OUR TABLE AND DID IT!!

20/10: sunday

...somehow i wasted the entire day

21/10: monday

more dissection. more wasting of time

22/10: tuesday

i TRIED to study, okay? but well...

23/10: wednesday

✓ woke up at 5 am

✓ read and made notes on erythropoiesis

✓ read a bit about the femoral triangle

? morning lectures were about stress management and interpersonal relationships? idk i read @athenaareia 's fanfic during it

✓ had a sdl class about erythropoiesis but they finished the q/a before they reached my roll no, :(

✓ more dissection!!! saw the femoral nerve, artery and vein and the profunda femoris artery. accidentally cut a vein and tendon (?) though that was my DT mate's fault, not mine

? came back to the hostel, couldn't study/do ANYTHING in the evening because of hostel stuff and also seniors dealing *ahem* ragging *ahem* with us

! one of the girls on my floor kept yapping for SO LONG and i, as usual, was to awkward to tell her to go so... yeah. yapped and vibe matched with her for 2 entire hours.

✓ finally found the time to read about the hip bone (a bit?)

✓ drew the anterior view and lateral view of the hip bone

? im wayyy too sleepy rn.

honestly, I can't help but feel that in doing NOTHING here. everything is going too fast and I don't understand half the stuff taught in anatomy classes. i adore biochem atp.

also there's a lizard above me. im scared to sleep.

but I am sleepy. i slept through the physio equipment demonstration and people NOTICED like they asked me after class if I was alright so... yeah.

this is despite the fact that I slept 8 entire hours yesterday

so what I've come to realise is that regardless of how many hours I sleep, I'm still gonna be sleeping during lectures

solution? imma wake up at 4/5 am and study. yoohoo. (it's about 1 am rn fyi)

nini <3

[slippinninque]

🍂Jatemme Manning x Blackfemreader🍁

In which Jatemme wants to hear you smile.

Warnings: fluff! Comfort! At work post, may be a few mistakes but I'll edit later!

You walked further into your cubicle, briefly taken aback by the cascades of oranges-reds-whites and browns bursting from your desk.

Monday was hard enough but after such a busy weekend tending to life's measures, you felt as if you had no break away from the grind before you were clocking back in again.

Here is was the last 15 or so days of the month and you haven't done a thing to celebrate....

You fussed to your man a bit but decided that it was best to just trudge through as normal. It sucked that October was the highlight of your year as a child but now that you've grown, business and life just didn't seem to make room for the autumnal wonder.

"That was here since this morning," Ida settled across from you at her own desk, eyes twinkling behind her glasses, "I wonder who's the culprit?"

You laughed a bit at her tease. You knew very well who it was and it was bold for his #1 partner in crime to pretend otherwise.

Your cubicle reminded you of a forgotten autumnal grove. Sparkling vases of dahlias, white and orange roses, purple and deep red pansies.

There were two baskets, one filled with ornate muffins and a wrapped apple fritter that filled the air with their pleasing, sweet scent. A candle that remained unlit and was surrounded by bath salts, bath bombs, and a pair of pumpkin patterned fuzzy socks you were tempted to slip into as soon as possible.

You pulled your chair from your desk and had to catch the thin bag seated there as it nearly toppled from your excitement. Inside was you're favorite wine and a familiar, slim container for another one of your favorite indulgence that you knew better than to pop open then and there.

The more you poked and prodded, the more you found. Handfuls of Hershey kisses, a pack of your favorite fruity gum, apple cider scented lip balm and hand lotions. There were even scented markers accenting the colorful sticky notes that would be perfect for your notes taking.

Your cell rang in your hand and with a quick glance at the clock, you took the call.

"You're entering the Olympic type of skill when it comes to surprising me," You smiled into the receiver as you settled down in your manmade heaven, "I don't even know what to say!"

"Sound like you're smiling, that's all I wanted to hear." Jatemme's voice carried the same tone, "Just wanted to let you know you got lunch coming, so don't get none of them nasty noodles--y'hear?"

Suddenly the day didn't seem so long or unfair as you felt your cheeks warm. "Yes, I hear you..."

"Mhmm. Still smiling. That's what I wanna hear." Jatemme praised softly, "I ain't gonna keep you, go do your thing and I'll see you at lunch. Yeah?"

"Yeah! I'll be waiting for you..."

"I'll be waiting for you too, baby."

Uncaring of the prying eyes, you angled the receiver to your mouth so Jatemme could hear all the kisses you were blowing his way. You only stopped when you hear him laugh and shoo you away from the phone.

"Keep it up and Imma come up there and get those in person, fuck them. They can't keep me out."

"No one said they could but I'll let you go since you're getting riled up."

Finally disconnecting the call, you held your cheeks as you looked around you. Heaven. You felt so loved.

Your cheeks were already starting to ache from how you grinned, looking though the splendor left for you. Others from the office meandered by as if fulfilling tasks but you met many a wandering eye through the petals and stems curling over you.

It felt silly to think of it like that, but it felt like Jatemme was right there with you. Evidence of his care wiped away all the weepy feelings that came with Monday.

Feeling stronger, you pulled up your database and cracked your knuckles. Looking over your treats and picking up a Hershey, you popped the morsel into your mouth and used the foil to block the time on the clock.

You were going to knock out these little hours with no problem at all....

----------

✨Ending notes✨: a little sweet for Monday!💖💕✨ Ive been feeling fluffy lately and I don't think I shower Jatemme any fluff love!🥹 More coming, promise ya that! 💕✨💜✨

💕Tag list💕: @cocochannelmoi @hunnishive @last-lost-one @yasminsqueendom @flydotty

@kindofaintrovert @satoruya @harmshake @miyuhpapayuh @ms-angiealsina

@megamindsecretlair @blowmymbackout @thadelightfulone @mysecertdiaryofableedingheart @sageispunk

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 5th

midnights anon, infinite anon (new), chickfila anon (new), outlet anon, Alabama anon (new), ⭐️ anon

Midnights Anon

Okay so I know I've gotten a couple messages from you in the past few days. I'm gonna try to answer all of them

For your oldest message- I'm so sorry your parents aren't very supportive. As far as your gender, remember that even if you choose to do nothing about it, it doesn't negate who you are. And it also doesn't change that you have time to figure yourself out. there's no rush.

For the message you wrote on Sunday - Honestly listening to your body and not listening to diet culture is SO hard. I still struggle with it every day. I'm proud of you for trying your best! And as far as your dad...he just sounds so picky! Did he ever work in the military? But yeah you're not stupid, that's....a lot.

And for the message you wrote on monday - you are NOT going crazy. But you do need help. Forgive me for needing a reminder, but is there any adult besides your parents you can talk to? A teacher, coach, therapist, anyone? I just want you to have a support system, you know? Also remember there a hotlines you can text and call, there's a list of them on my pinned post! And it's absolutely okay to vent to me, please don't worry about it.

_______________________

Infinite anon

Hi cas,

I really don’t know how to start writing this (it’s the first time I right an anon, idk why I’m so nervous, but either way).

So, imma give first some context cuz I feel it’s needed.

So let’s just say that I’m not the most affectionate person to exist. And well, we were having lunch, me and my family, and my father brings out that I’m not affectionate. I’ve listened to this just way too many times, normally I can control myself, but today I’ve just not been able to and I just get up and go to room and start crying. Then my mother comes and tries to console me and she doesn’t stop touching me. I’ve told her infinite times -emphasis on infinite- that I don’t like touch, I don’t know why but it just repulses me. And she doesn’t stop touching me, so instead of getting better, I’m worse. And through this, she keeps saying that I should be more affectionate, warm, loving and everything. But I think she should understand that she’s asking for me to be someone that I’m not. And I don’t how to communicate this more clearer as I’ve already done so and it has no effect.

Some time passes and suddenly she says. “Are you like this cuz you’d think that I wouldn’t accept you if I knew that you like girls?”

Ok, so this happens and I’m like, what? Like, ok, she accepts it, but how does she know? I mean, around the internet I’m really open so maybe she’s read a comment on a TikTok or something like that. Maybe she’s seen my Pinterest. But she doesn’t know what my TikTok or Pinterest accounts are. Does that mean that she somehow controls everything that I do? I more or less suspected it but I prefer to not think much about it. And also, anywhere that may say that I like girls it says that I’m pansexual. So she must know that. And I feel that she made the comment before with reluctance as if she didn’t want to admit that I’m pansexual. As if if she just said girls and didn’t say the word pansexual it wasn’t real. And I’ve spent a lot of time fighting with myself to come to terms with it. My family’s really conservative and I’ll never forget a New Year’s Eve that we watched first dates -idk if it airs anywhere else, but in Spain it is, as the title indicates, about first dates- and there was someone who was bisexual. So, point is, all of my family was making comments such as “all-terrain”, “2x1”,… And this now lives rent-free in my mind cuz if they thought that bisexuals were that, what will they think I am?

And I also just couldn’t feel more outed. I thought that one day I’d be able to say it and be brave, now I’ve lost the opportunity. I must admit that I thought that if people just discovered it it would be easier, it isn’t. Though I’m still not out to anyone else, so maybe I can do so to them. But that’s also a problem as my brother and my father make too many homophobic comments and then sometimes my friends, although they like to look like allies, they say things like “they’ve appropriated of many things that now I can’t use”, “why do they act like that?” and shit like that.

So now I’m just a pansexual-outed(I wouldn’t consider it outed but the fact that my mother knows and not because I told her makes me feel outed)-mess who also doesn’t feel completely aligned with being a girl, demigirl maybe, but I’ve never told anyone, except the internet. And I feel that if anyone knew, then I wouldn’t be supported in any way and I would lose everyone.

And I don’t know what to do cuz I already censored myself way too much around my family and now I’m doing it even more. Also, I feel that in the upcoming elections from my country my father'll vote to the equivalent of Trump here and I don’t know how to face that -i really hope he changes his mind-. And also, I’ve really started to doubt myself if I’m allowed to want to have boundaries regarding touch. Am I entitled to have sensory issues? I mean, I definitely don’t like having them, but there are parts of my body where I just can’t even fathom a light touch. I feel like my culture is too warm, and I just don’t enjoy it at all, sometimes I feel it too overwhelming.

So, all in all, I don’t know what to do with all of this and I just don’t know how to feel.

Just noticed how much I wrote. Well, if you just read it I’ll be forever grateful, I just had to write it somewhere and i feel that clicking the button ‘ask’ will make me feel much better.

So, thank you for reading.

Hi! First of all, you are ABSOLUTELY entitled to decide when and how you are touched, even if you didn't have sensory issues. You have a right to have absolute control over your body!!

But as far as what your mom said, that wasn't cool. Your sexuality is a separate issue. If you feel comfortable, I think you should tell her that upset you and you wish she brought it up at a different time. But if you don't, just know that that was not okay.

But YES please know your boundaries are ABSOLUTEY okay. Don't doubt that for a second!

_____________________________

ChickFilA Anon

am i a bad person for wanting to live (a little bit) ignorantly so i won’t feel guilty about giving money to not good people?

(ex. I watch Disney still and eat chick fil a and listen to Taylor swift)

My brother is like a super activist and always gets mad when I mention liking those things. I do what I can like buying book secondhand but sometimes it’s just so much work and I would rather order it on Amazon.

I feel guilty when my brother points it out to me, but other times I just don’t care.

Am I a bad person for that?

Here's the thing. I love the people who are able to have the time, dedication, and resources to be super activists all the time. But honestly...and this might be a hot take...activism is only a PART of my life. I try to make informed choices wherever possible, and I think other people should too, but I also have to do my job, take care of myself, be in a relationship, etc. I am a thousand percent supportive of people who can put activism first always, but I can't always do this and I don't just people who don't, either.

Also I think there's a difference between some of these things...like yeah Taylor Swift has a private jet but she also donates millions to food banks. Chick Fil A donates to charities that are anti-lgbtqia. So to me, I feel fine listening to Taylor so I do, but less great about giving money to Chick Fil A, so I actively avoid it. It's relative, ig.

__________________

Outlet Anon

Hey cas, outlet anon here. Man have I had an eventful day. So I ride horses, and today I was working a diffiult horse who's been on stall rest (bed rest) for a while due to some back and hoof problems. He did really well all things considered, and I'm really proud of him! I was able to give his owner a few pointers on riding him in the future and I might get to do it again next week. Anyway, I was riding in a western saddle, which is basically just the ones with saddle horns (the things cowboys hang ropes on), and I hit my thumb on the horn at just the right angle that a small piece got wedged under my nail (not at all the horse's fault) and fell apart when I tried to take it out. I put a bandaid on it anf finished my ride since it hurt a little bit but didn't constitute getting off early. My mother was with me (she likes to watch me ride) and she took one look at it and drove me straight to an urgent care. We waited for an hour (honestly, 'urgent' care? Please. The day those people are 'urgent' is the day I turn straight) before I got called back. Long story short, the doc couldn't get it out (he dug as far uder my nail as he was willing to) so he numbed up my thumb and cut a portion of my nail off (about a centimeter or so). I now have a bunch of shit wrapped around most of my thumb and have to replace the bandages every morning for a week. I get home and my service dog is like "wtf did you do? See, this is what happens when you leave me" so I let him sniff my thumb and the fucking maniac tries to EAT IT. Like... my dog is crazy, I've known that. That's why I bought him. But trying to eat my damn thumb, which is covered in some antibacterial shit that doesn't even smell like anything, is a new level. He chose my thumb over food. That dog loves food more than literally anything. I had to put his shock collar on so the gremlin would stop trying to devour me. So yeah, fun day :):

Honestly the fact that you managed to do that is impressive. I hope your thumb feels better soon! Also it sounds like your dog was rightfully concerned lol

______________________

Alabama Anon

you know that feeling when you’ve got something you really need to tell people? Like you’ve known something for so long and you just want to tell the people you love and get it out into the world. But you don’t. Because you don’t know what they’ll think when you tell them. How could you possibly know what they’d say? Or if they’d still stick around? You know how that feels?

I feel like this currently. The thing I need to tell my people is that I’m bisexual. I live in a sort of rural area in Alabama, so a lot of the people in my town are quite conservative. I don’t even know if there are other queer people at my school. There probably are, but no one has said anything and I don’t want to be the first. I really want to tell somebody though, so I’m telling you. 

I feel like I’ve got a pretty good group of people, but you just never know what people will think. If I came out to the wrong person they could tell the whole school. 

Some of the people at my school already make comments about me. And some of the things they say about the other girls are absolutely disgusting. I honestly want to punch them. 

I apologize for the length of this. It sort of turned into a rant. But anyways, I love your work. I really do like the stuff you write. It always makes me feel happy inside, if you know what I mean. Thank you for reading this whole thing, if you did. I really appreciate it. 

Ugh yes I definitely know this feeling and I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Could you kind of 'test out' your friends first by talking about queer celebrities or something and seeing how they react? Just so you can make sure you're safe.

I hope you have a support system in your family or in other people around you. It's absolutely awful having to go figure out these things alone, so I am sending you so much love <3

_________________________

⭐️ anon

so i came out to my dad. it was kinda weird because he came into my room and basically told me that my mom knew that i thought i was bi and wanted to talk about it, basically he told me he would love me no matter what but he just wanted to know (which i was really stressed out about because he’s a pastor) so i told him that i was a girl and i think i like girls too and it went so much better than i thought he just hugged me and we watched a tv show together. i just wanted to thank you for giving me the confidence to actually come out and now i don’t feel like im hiding this huge thing from my family. i probably won’t be publicly coming out soon just because of our current leadership in America but i just wanted to thank you so so so much for helping me.

-⭐️ anon

AHHHH I'm so glad it went so well and your family supports you! I really wish we could say the same about the government, but it makes me so happy to at least know your parents have your back <3 I'm sending you so much love!

____________

6 anon

WE MADE IT TO STATES!!!

Also, I agreed to meet my dad for lunch.

JEY USO WON THE MENS ROYAL RUMBLE!!

AHHHH congratulations!!! That's amazing!! Keep me updated (if you want) on your dad!

[a-fox-studies]

May 6, 2024 • Monday

Not many pictures today except for my journal. I really should start taking pictures of my little travels huh

Anyways I had a terrible terrible pain day which crushed any and all plans I had for a catch-up study day. And also a dentist appointment which had a waiting time of 15mins and a checkup time of 5mins. Ugh.

And yeah I came back home and basically binged a show while procrastinating on packing for my week trip to my native (yes I'm travelling again nobody is surprised)

Yep that's all for the update I guess. This is a pretty scattered post because I just wanted to put something out before I pass out okay my hand is cramping up imma sleep byeeee

(you could send me some asks so I can see them when I wake up!)

🎧 The Albatross — Taylor Swift

[lover-of-mine]

Your last post is funny bc just TODAY I watched that season finally. I’m literally 2 episodes into season 5 right now. As someone who just watched that for the first time (and hadn’t noticed it WAS the season finally when I started watching it) I was losing my goddamn MIND watching those episodes. Just constantly 😯😯😯. I began watching 911 when I started seeing posts circulating about Buck being bi. At the time I had no idea who he was other than the occasional gif set but it made me intrigued and I have been HOOKED. Literally trying to get through as many episodes as possible so I can watch the episodes live. Questions for you (since I have no one else to talk to about the show); when did you start watching? Have you had any predictions while watching the show that didn’t/ did come true? Like for me when I watched season 1 and Abby went to the fire department for the first time I SWORE up and down that her and Bobby were meant to be endgame (was clearly wrong lol). But also after Chris got stuck in the Tsunami I called it that something would happy to Harry later on (just a feeling that no one was safe lol, not even the kids). I’m just so curious to see what the fandom theories have been over time lol since I missed out on it!

Yeah, no, watching suspicion/survivors for the first time is WILD. Like, imma be honest and bit oversharing, I watched the show for the first time in a depressive episode, so I watched everything up to 5x10 in like, 6 days according to the posts I made on Tumblr about it, so I didn't realize theorize about anything, I was just hitting next episode like my life depended on it. But I didn't know anything about the show, like, at all, I had just watched 911 lone star in a weekend because it was on the tv and there were only like, 20 episodes of it out it at the time and a network in my country was just showing all of them on a loop, and I opened the Disney app fully intending to rewatch grey's anatomy, and 911 was the first show on my recommended to you list, and I had liked lone star enough, and was like sure why not. And I legit couldn't stop watching. All of this happened the week before 5x11 aired on the us, so 5x11 was the first episode I watched like "live" (the first episode I actually watched live was 5x16) but I watched it in the same week, I think I finished on a Tuesday? And the episode aired on Monday. I can't really give you any theories I have witnessed so far because they would be spoilers tho, but if you wanna come back once you catch up we can talk about some of the madness that goes around here. But I had the same thing happen to me, I didn't realize it was the season finale, and I didn't know anything about the show, so I had no idea what was happening, and I thought I had learned my lesson with the tsunami arc, because I watched 3x01 at like 3 am fully saying this is the last episode I will watch and then I'm gonna go to bed, and then the tsunami hit, and I was like well fuck and then Chris fell in the water and next thing I know is 5 am and Eddie is making me cry at the end there. But I saw the 13 and didn't realize the season only had 14 episodes and then everything kept happening. I seriously cannot imagine what it was like to be forced to wait a week between those 2 episodes it was SO CRAZY. When Eddie got shot I legit froze. Watching that for the first time not knowing it's coming is SOMETHING. I do remember thinking that they were gonna kill Shannon but I didn't expect to be right, I also remember clocking that Jason was Doug pretty fast. Something funny tho, I remember posting that meme that's like "I've had blank for 1 day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" with Buck and I waited until I had been watching for a day and a half, that means I posted it while watching the season 2 finale. I hit post and the truck blew up and I legit went like ????????? and that is still the most ironic thing that ever happened to me while posting about 911 kspskspkspakapkapa (here's the post, I actually came back to edit the tags because I was in shock lol) and I laugh every time I remember that lol but I'm glad you're enjoying the show, you can come back to talk to me about it any time!;

[keichanz]

Hi Keiz! I miss your posts so much and your fics❤️ I hope the job interview went well! Loyally waiting for your updates both in life and in fics🥰🥹

heeyyyoo. thanks for checking in with me precious anon~ right now i am eepy because keiz slept like ass and she is running on coffee and a prayer.

imma be honest, i dont even know what job interview it was because i've had so many lol but i can say this. the latest one i had went pretty well and i'm hoping to hear back from them this coming monday. fingers crossed y'all ❤️

anyhow. haven't felt motivated lately to write because i've just been so goddamn stressed. between job searching, my dad being in and out of the hospital because of some health issues, and my kitchen still being under renovation - among a few other smaller things - it's a wonder i can even function properly. you can thank the coffee i'm drinking rn that i'm even coherent right now lmao

sooo yeah it's been tough but i'm truckin', ya know. my bf helps a lot. he's pretty damn amazing and i'm lucky to have him. i got my friends too and my precious babies. although romeo is gonna give me a freakin' ulcer with how much freaking anxiety he gives me. right now he's showing signs of having another hairball and after what happened the last time lemme tell you mama is an anxious mess. i never wanna go through that again. i swear i have fuckin ptsd from it.

i'm hoping he'll just pass it sometime today and he'll feel better. my poor baby. i just wish i could do something for him.

thanks again dear for sending this and reminding me i'm still thought of and loved ❤️ it truly does mean a lot, especially since i'm on the struggle bus and the route has no end in sight. i'll do my best to come back and give ya'll periodic updates, but you're always welcome to shoot me a little message like this and inquire about anything.

love y'all. ❤️

[paisholotus]

Imma say this and leave it alone. If you don't like what I post, what I talk about, anything about my blog, SHIT ME IN GENERAL! Then block me!

It's literally so simple. You will never see my posts again if you just click that person figure at the top, and hit block. I know so amazing 👏🏾

But, yeah, I just wanted to say this ❤️ I hope y'all have a wonderful Monday 😘🩵

[achillean-knight]

Ok so, funny thing LMFAO

I made a post about 6 weeks ago stating that imma be getting a copy of Nimona from the library. Mmhm, it's been 6 weeks and they still haven't got the book

(you're only allowed to legally borrow a book for 3 weeks so istfg if I was on a waiting list 😭)

But funniest thing just happened. So my mum and I joked the copy I ordered would arrive before the library at this rate. Yeah. Yeah I just got an email that both my ITSV art book and copy of Nimona would arrive on Monday, a whole month early.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE LIBRARY COPY WHEN I GET IT LOL... Actually, I'll let my brother read the library copy BC he does wanna read it 👍

But yeah I'm baffled that my joking with my mum came true SHBSSB

[xxl1zardb3ansxx]

Kay so I lied imma just post chapters of my story when I can so here you go :) This one is kinda short

On the way

It was pretty much uneventful. Star flew over a majority of the Mud kingdom, which she did not particularly enjoy. Too many snakes and big scary Mudwings. It also smelled horrible, but she thought not to mention that in her journal just in case a Mudwing found it. It was quite peaceful in the open sky though. No noisy dragonets, no Astrion. Just clouds. They didn’t make very much noise so Star didn’t mind them. The mountains were a little less fun. Star had to be careful because there were random mountains sticking up everywhere. It also didn’t help that there were a lot of clouds, which made it even harder to see. Star only had to stop once when she needed food. She found a goat, who was relatively skinny actually, but Star didn’t really care. Meat wasn’t a huge part of her diet because she lived in the rainforest, with rainwings. And Rainwings are vegetarian so you get the point. Although, there were some interesting botany samples along the way. Bright blue flowers, a very folding looking pink flower, and a red round fruit. Which after looking it up in her botany book, found out it was a strawberry. Thus she tossed it into her mouth and picked a couple for the rest of the trip. Eventually, Star came across a large mountain with a sign reading “Jade Mountain Academy” across the top with a slogan underneath that said, “We wish you the power of the wings of fire!” Star guessed this was her destination and landed on a hill not far from the entrance. She didn’t want to go in quite yet, for she was nervous. Star took a couple deep breaths and went into the Mountain. There were a couple students in the halls, not many though. Probably because the actual beginning of the semester was on Monday. A Nightwing greeted Star as she walked in.

“Hello! And welcome to Jade Mountain Academy, or JMA for short. I’m FateSpeaker.” The Nightwing said in a very cheery and excited tone.

“Uh, hi. Star, nice to meet you?” Star said, not really used to talking to other dragons.

“Star, Star, Star,...Ah ha! Here you are! You're in the Jade Winglet. Which is down the hall and to the right twice.”

“Thanks.” Star said, and just before she walked down the hall FateSpeaker said, “Wait, here’s your library card, and map of the school. Okay, bye bye!”

Star took the map and a little pouch with the card in it. She began walking down the hall and noticed that everyone’s thoughts were really loud. *Okay, little thingamagigama here. Star inherited mind reading from Moon and Astrion got the visions and stuff. Ok! Toodles!*

Star used the trick her mom showed her and pretended to hear everyone's voices slipping away into raindrops in a storm. Star could still sort of hear them, but it helped quiet down the noise. Star also noticed that she was getting some weird looks. Oh no please don’t tell me they know my- A bright pink blur in her face broke her thought.

“Hi! *Gasp* It’s you again! Hi!” 

Star recognized that voice. It was the pink Rainwing from back home that wanted her mom’s autograph.

“Oh, hey.” Star said, stepping back. 

“I’m Rosey! What’s your name?” Rosey said, excitedly shifting between yellows and shades of pink.

“Star. Nice to uh, meet you.” Star said, trying to evade this giant ball of sunshine.

“Oooh, that’s a pretty name! Does it have a second part? Like the Moon does?” Rosey persisted, shining even brighter pink with a little yellow on the fin-like things on the side of her head. (I don’t know what their called)

“Yeah, um, it’s uh, StarGazer technically, but I like Star.” Star said, being pushed against the wall by Rosey’s energy.  “Ooooh, that’s so pretty! I wish I had a name like that! I would want to be like NightStalker or something cool like that! Hey, where'd she go?” Rosey said, suddenly realizing Star was gone. Star had used the time while she wasn’t paying attention to slip down the hallway and into the room labeled ‘Jade Winglet’. Star sighed when she got in there. Relieved to not have to deal with Rosey anymore. It wasn’t Rosey herself, it was just her mind is really really loud. Inside the cave were several different styles of beds. A hammock, a stone ledge, a very cold looking stone ledge, a heated stone ledge, another ledge covered with leaves, a silk web, a hive looking ledge, a kelp covered ledge, a ledge covered with a thin layer of mud, and a final one that looked quite bumpy and uncomfortable actually. Star decided to take the leaf covered stone ledge, as the hammock was probably for a Rainwing. Star was not very excited at that thought though. That meant she would be staying in the same room with other dragons! Although this mountain was clearly not big enough to have everyone have their own rooms. Star set down her satchel next to her and just laid down for a bit. The bed wasn’t quite as great as the one back home, but it was still comfortable. Star flopped her tail over her snout and just sat and thought for a while.

[springrls]

I have four doctors appointments this week which are all for different specialists. I'm freaked ok!! Tomorrow morning I get an MRI of my pelvis (again!) to check (we leave in 5 hrs 0-0) for inflammation. Which lol. Yeah. There's a 400cc breast implant of an ovary in there lollll. (It's hard to wrap my mind around that w/o panicking!)

So then Monday I go to a new eye doctor for an updated glasses prescription! Which is good as I can't fucking seeeee!! I finally have vision insurance (yay for medi cal!) but my glasses options will be mad lameee so also worried about my swag....

Tuesday I see my cardiologist, to go over the tests I had done in the past couple of months, him to be like "haha ok their fine let's figure out he next steps!" Which is POTS. HOPEFULLY I'll get a tilt table test (god why is this my life...!!) also he's gunna like "have you done the exercises?" And I started going to him BEFORE the insane endo stage 4 diagnosis.... so no Mr.Cardiologist I have been taking insane mid day naps to just FUNCTIONNNN!! Ahhhhh go crazy go stupid

Ok and THENNNN I talk to my obgyn Thursday morning (lol kill meeee) so 1. The new birth control is working well! 2. THE CYSTS GREW 22% DURING MY PERIOD IN SEPTEMBER. I got an ultrasound done sept 17th, 322.2cc - then another in the ER exactly 2 weeks later which it then measured 395.4ccs. I assume nothing was said because I went in worried about torsion and/or ruptureeeee...!! I got my period between these ultrasounds sept 24th-30th.

So now; I've had my October period - and I'm about to have a weird late November period bc I was switching & testing out birth control! Like how large has the cysts grown now? It's been 2 months OBGYN MAN. Guys I'm STRESSED. Fuuuuck.

So yeah. That's all my appointments this week. I have to call some other specialists offices (like physical therapy) to make appointments too. And. And. Talk to my insurance case manager to see if medi-cal will cover the medical group I've been going to my whole life.... like. I'm so fucking stressed. I need surgery. Complex surgery. Done by robots. I- I can't handle this being my life. That theres something very severely wrong with my body and I'm trying to switch to state insurance while the government is ,,,..!! YKNOW. Fuck dawgggg,,,,

I'm also going to try to stay on my families insurance as "a disabled dependent" WHICH I AM? My primary doctor isn't ..., keen on filling out that paperwork as she thinks I'll get better....? Idk. Imma try again bc 1. Government 2. I need more time to figure out my health before these cysts get bigger! 3. I'm home bound. I can't function without a 4 hour nap each day god save me;

I'm stressed ha hah! If any of my mutuals/followers read my vent posts thank you I love you even if we don't talk 😖❤️ if you wanna comment / dm me go crazy I'm just some dude ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3

[i-think-im-braindead]

"oh wow i'm feeling so motivated for starting a shitty blog it sure is giving me the motivation to keep on posting!"

well yeah, it was pretty motivating, but i've been busy. i guess publising stuff it's more a privilege than a need (if you don't work for things online ofc).

so let's see, i have been busy with studying and all that, napping too. i have been pretty tired recently, like all of my (i assume) non-existent energy was just taken right out of me.

i gave some cents to the gnome we have in the living room. i just put them with him. i'm not sure if that's supposed to do anything.

so uuhh... i went to class, monday and wednesday, i didn't write shit, but i'll write everything in my home. i doodled some stuff, bad idea, i didn't pay attention and i couldn't understand anything the teacher gave as a lil exercise lol.

i really like the teacher we got though, she teaches stuff great and is always so lively, she must really like her job i guess.

she wrote something on the blackboard, and when class finished she forgot to take a picture so an hour after class ended she sent a message asking if someone had a pic of it to send to her email. luckily i had one so i sent it to her.

now imma go watch some videos and idk.

and just as clarification, i don't like my teacher romantically, i just think that she's a great teacher, i really hoped i had one like her when i was growing up lol.

goodbye, take care.

[sublimeenemykryptonite]

I got a little song here imma sing it for #zacefron and the movie #firestarter are you ready I said are you ready @zacefron is ready for me to drop the song here goes " in the movie good things popping just like MVP says in the ring on Monday night raw about little things Poppin big things stoppin Poppin bottles of the song that goes back to posting taxi ran a flat tire rolling down the Hill like in the movie gonna be Poppin knockin kissin just for the love said she was kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin oh well shut the what up it looks like Nik gonna feel like runnin bad thing is never run from the popo see that girl in the hood she was getting out till she got hit building on fire next door all we know all we know is she better not be kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin oh well little girl inside the house hang on we're coming in we said we're gonna get you out she said liar liar pants on fire I knew we had to run out building on fire she started it Zac walked out of the house while it was on fire there's that same girl she's kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin yeah she's been kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin she's been kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin kissin"