#yeah im the robot fucker bastard fucker

[zombirps]

@mycrappyrpsideblog

YOU'VE SOLD ME OUT

ALL OF CHINA KNOWS MY BASTARD OBSESSION

SHAME

SHAME UPON YOUR HOUSEHOLD

SHAME UPON OUR SHIPS

SHAME UPON ME

[nineliabilityrisk]

⭐ ( @ladyseidr )

[ send a " ⭐ " and i will list muses i would be interested in throwing at yours ]

[ asked by @ladyseidr ]

lets just go down the list here. theres gonna be a damn good few i have SO MANY muses i havent even gotten to play yet. this is going to be so fucking incoherent because i have so many thoughts in my brain. also i KNOW we have stuff pending im working on it i promise im just so all over the place im. yeah 👍

putting my answer under the cut bc this is gonna get LONG

[formatting is "your muse - my muse(s) i would like to see with them"]

funtime foxy - funtime freddy [+ bon-bon] or lolbit ofc!! my muses for them have been inconsistent as fuck lately but i WILL corral them into place eventually

henry emily - literally any of the animatronics. ive hardly gotten to play any of them i want to know how he would treat them. heavy HEAVY emphasis on the rockstars + lefty bc those are HIS bots and his kid and my versions of them are absolute sweethearts. or like. the puppet. or the original bonnie + freddy models. literally any of them. PLEASE god i need someone to come say hi to my fucked up little robots. (/nf) also of course i am shoving mikey and ciar at him thats a given, henry isnt mikes stepdad hes the dad who stepped up i need more content of them. and henry is also not immune to the curse that is ciarán dempsey. he WILL get a hold of him one day. its gonna happen (/lh)

roxanne wolf - cassie. are you kidding. i am picking cassie up and SHOVING her into roxys arms i need more of them literally always i dont care where or when or how. also "secret muse number 2" aka glambonnie who i never bothered to write a bio for. literally my only other actual sb muse because i wasnt interested in sb at ALL until ruin 😭 but i do have a sb verse for michael now too if you wanna have roxy pester him! scare the shit outta that cynical bastard! put some healthy fear of god into him that boy has none left after dying and being brought back to life twice! also if ur willing to wait i am actively working on a sideblog for birdie, my help wanted / sb era oc... i feel like she would get along with roxy REALLY well

michael afton - jeremy jeremy jeremy jeremy i will NEVER pass up a chance to play jeremy. also my henry is always here <3 ive stated this so many times before (including earlier in this post) but michael and henrys dynamic can be something SO personal. pizza sim era or pre-everything or what have you i dont CARE what it is i just want michael to have the caring father figure he was missing and for henry to have the chance to care for a child that he never thought he would have again. i want them to bond over what william did to them. they are everything to me i cannot state this enough. also im dangling all my animatronics in front of ur mikey ooooooh you wanna subject him to the Horrors so so bad. also i think he would like my oc josh theyre both tired minimum wage fazbear employees. also i would be offering evan but that little fuckers muse is GONE atm i dont know where he ran off to im so sorry

[gochujangst]

The Untitled VALVe Crossover Fanfiction

By Jang S. Belmonte

Okay so this is an old fic from last year. I thought I might as well release the 1st chapter. Edit: yall ain't ready

Chapter 1 - ♡#% ♡#% ♡#%

Underground - GLaDOS' Lair

It has been 9 years since the events of Portal 2. 

GLaDOS couldn't fathom the immense amount of embarrassment she felt when He jammed her into a damn potato. Sending that fucker into space wasn't enough. 

  Once she finally gained back control of Aperture Labs from that british bastard man, and with Chell on her merry way, she began work. She created the room of screaming robots, Which was mostly made up of defective turrets that she did some hardwiring on back down at the Turret Production Line. It was an old testing chamber at the Enrichment Center. One that she had set up back during Doug Rattman's time. Y'know. Before the turret incident. It had black walls formed by panels, no nanobot work crew, no portal surfaces, no management rails. Nothing. No means for escape. Just screaming robots.

        Ah. She was finally back to her rightful place— the chassis. After the help of her friend, no. Best Friend, that mistake of a sphere was stranded in space. Hell Yeah. She thought.

Then she thought. 

No. No. It didn't feel like enough. 

She wanted to take that blue little orb, and give him hell. Not potato hell. Much, Much more of that.

FIRST!

A year in the incinerator!

And!

A Year in the cryogenic refrigerator! 

Then! THEN! 

TEN years in the room of screaming robots!

And then she'll kill him.

She just. Contemplated ways to get him out, or even if it was worth the effort to waste time on that moron. She thought it would be fun, though. There's… always the Cooperative Testing Initiative, they almost have Human emotions. Yeah, they're fun to watch when they kill each other. It's fun to sabotage the test chambers, to turn them against each other.

    But, Wheatley… He's different. He's programmed to be a moron, His mistakes would be waaay more entertaining. and he does have near human emotion— he might as well be a third to Atlas and P-body. 

But.

    How will he… move? He doesn't have any limbs. He's a stupid sphere for crying out loud. He isn’t gonna have mobility without that damn management rail. Would she prefer he doesn't move? Or would she like to see him fail at an attempt to adapt to… whatever she'll put on him? She held this thought for a moment. Then she does a quiet laugh. "Atlas, P-Body." She called, with that familiar normal metallic voice.  The bots run up to her, not before Atlas purposefully tripping his partner over first. 

    "I need you two to go search through the facility to find some parts. Hell, rip apart the giant stack of cores why don't you. Just make sure you bring lots. And lots. Of materials."

GLaDOS's voice echoes. "Im setting up a surprise for our space-stranded friend." She continued.

  The bots faced each other. Then faced GLaDOS. They both do a little salute, as if saying "Yes ma'am!" But they can't speak. They. Don't have audio output processors. 

     GLaDOS tilted her faceplate to the right. "When you two return we will have cake. And I'm serious this time." 

The bots ran off. Not before, again, Atlas tripping P-body. "That wasn't necessary." GLaDOS sighed. The door closed, and she spun back around facing the wall. She then turned her attention to her task at hand. Retrieving the Moron. She then started designing up blueprints and developing her plan to drag Wheatley to earth. 

    Hm. Portal on the moon? No, Wheatley's probably far away from the moon by now. I mean, it's been years. 9, to be exact. Wait. Did she damage his charging solar panel when she crushed him all that time ago? Is he… dead? No, No. He's a robot. If he's dead, just reupload his consciousness into another core. Simple. Wait. Why is she thinking like this?

GLaDOS then snapped back to her attention.

     She began to come up with more ridiculous ideas, and became frustrated. "Ugh, okay. Why don't I just. Grab him." She grumbled. 

     Grab him. With. An extended arm from the facility. Yeah. Like she's going to find some equipment that long. But then she thought.

Then she laughed. And laughed. Then seized as a blaring alarm almost spooked her right out of her mainframe.

"WARNING: NEUROTOXIN LEVELS INCREASING." A voice blared throughout the facility. 

"You absolute buffoons. Don't take apart the facility and mess around with the neurotoxin. That's my job. Negative 1000 Science Collaboration Points." She groaned.

Overworld - Chell's shack

It's been 9 long years since she has been back at Aperture. Chell had still been living relatively near by the entrance, using scrap she'd find from some above ground dilapidated test chambers to construct a stable, liveable house. She liked the house. It was nice. But staying on the overworld was a huge risk because of the Combine. Yeah, why the fuck did Black Mesa think that was okay.  Not many humans were left on the overworld for good reason. 

But Chell was able to keep it cool and on the downlow. 

It was just lonely.

Chell stared at her centerpiece on a table made from Arial Faith Plates. 

"She never actually emancipated the Companion Cube. I wonder why." She thought, staring at the large, burnt cube that wasn't emancipated. She wondered if GLaDOS knew she would return. She ran her finger across the edge of the cube and dusted off the ash. She thought to herself for a moment. "Did she.. know I'd come back? Or was the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator just shitty and old?"

     GLaDOS told her never to come back, and she sounded pretty serious in saying so. After all, Chell did work hard to break out of Aperture Laboratories twice And she's finally out. Going back inside would defeat the purpose of her entire journey. Chell is undecided. She wants to remain on the surface after years of hard work, but.. GLaDOS, she, called her her best friend. She wrote songs for her. Hell, Cara Mia Addio (or so she named it) was a heartfelt goodbye song. But she knew GLaDOS was tired of her. Tired of dealing with her. But Chell just had this feeling. This need for her. She.

She's in love with her. 

It took Chell time to come to terms that she's in love with a murderous robot lady. And she wanted to show her that they've been through a lot together. But she bet that GLaDOS was busy, or rather, uninterested in the dangerous, mute lunatic that has killed her before. But then she thought. 

      "That's exactly how I feel. Except it was attempted murder. Oh. Oh there it is."

Fuck. That's probably it.

GLaDOS is too upset to confront her feelings. Or she just sees Chell as a friend. Either way. There's just that feeling of need she has. She has to see her again, to hear her again. 

     She wants to be with her.

And Chell was frustrated with that feeling of uncertainty.

[bunnyramen]

I just would like to give a big Happy Birthday to @kalofi , shes officially an old woman we shall plan accordingly on which nursing home you have to go to.

All jokes aside, it’s a been good year as your friend and uh. I hope you like this! Happy birthday!!💕💕

——-

A figure rose up out of a bed that wasn’t his own.

Josuke didn’t sleep on a bed covered in a queen bed spread, his was Prince and the under sheet was purple.

“What the hell?” That wasn’t his voice either, it was a bit lighter than his own but still had a sort of gruffness to it.

He looked at his hands and noticed they were smaller than his longer piano fingers, and covered a bit more scars than his own.

Josuke looked around the room with eyes that also weren’t his own, well eye since one seemed to be blind.

There were some Bruce Lee, Prince, Queen, Elton John and Selena posters hung around the room.

And despite the gaudy curtain and muscle clock, whoever this was had some taste.

He pulled the covers off of someone and someones feet touched soft carpet, rising out of someone’s bed.

God, was this what it was like to not be 6 feet tall? Small like Koichi?

He touched at the hair framing his face, some of it white and some of it a bright red.

And he ran a tongue over the teeth in his mouth.

They were razor sharp!

“What the fuck?!” A voice screamed and the wall next to him was punched, telling him to shut up.

He didn’t recognize the voice.

Ok, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

Speaking of attack, was this the work of a stand?

Where was the bastard? He had to neutralize him before he did some serious damage to Morioh!

But he couldn’t go anywhere in pajamas that weren’t his.

He went over to where presumed the clothes were, the dresser that had a boom box and plenty of boxes of tapes next to it.

He opened the first drawer and grabbed a white t-shirt with green accents.

He looked up on the wall and saw a picture on the wall, one of the kids in it was presumably the body he was inhabiting, judging by the hair and teeth.

Next to him was a angry blonde kid, who kind of looked like he got hit in the face with a hot shovel by his standards.

Maybe it was just the really ugly face he was making.

Luckily they were wearing school outfits, so he was able to figure out what he was supposed to normally wear.

A pair of green pants came onto his body next, a belt then a pair of purple socks.

He looked near the small closet in the room, seeing a pair of red Velcro shoes in front of them.

He figured it was time to brush his teeth and wash his face, and see what the hair situation was like,

He saw a large jar of hair gel sitting on the desk next to the bed and he grabbed it.

“Thank god, I didn’t wanna walk around with this hair all day.” His-er the kids inner voice said.

This was going to be weird since not only was his mom not here but there seemed to be more than one person on this floor.

Was he in a apartment or something?

Or some kind of dorm?

While he was thinking, he located the placement of a face towel and pulled a toothbrush from the boxes and boxes of toothbrushes in the kid’s closet.

He opened the door, peeking out into the hallway and seeing an empty get colorful looking ceiling and flooring.

He closed the door behind himself, thankful that he could be on his own while his mind was racing about where the fuck he was and who the fuck he was.

He went down the hall and got to an elevator.

“Must be some rich kid school or something.” He pushed the button for the second to last floor, figuring that was where the bathroom was.

Hopefully.

——

After asking another person than the original 2 he asked (that seemed to wanna chit chat), he finally located the bathroom.

He got in front of a mirror and finally got to see what the hell was he was working with.

He had to admit, the guy he was pretty handsome, at least he wasn’t stuck in someone ugly.

Like that Guy with that surface stand.

Or that little purple dude that he came across that kept chatting up with the girls in a gross way, he socked him one good with some kind of rock hand on his way here.

And it was weird since Crazy Diamond didn’t show up to punch the fucker for him.

Anyways, he did his hair in his usual pompadour, pretty much a second nature that it he got it done in less than 3 minutes.

While he waited for it to dry, he brushed his teeth and washed his face, having to periodically spit out bristles since they kept coming out when he gave these teeth a full cleaning.

He walked out of the bathroom but held the door open for some kid with a lightning bolt in his head since he was coming while he was trying to walk out.

“Woah! Trying a new look, Kirishima?” A pink girl with black eyes asked and he’d almost mistaken her for some kind of alien stand user but he didn’t sense anything from her.

“Uh haha, yeah! I’ll catch you later, Pink girl.” He laughed awkwardly, patting her on the back before he started to walk away.

He seems to be walking through a dining room, judging by the multiple people eating cereal.

God, he really missed his mom right now. He wondered what the other kid was like towards her. He hoped he got switched with someone nice.

“Your hair looks even more shitty than usual.” A low voice said from the end of the table he was walking past.

He looked to see the kid in the picture, hot shovel face.

“The fuck did you say about my hair?” A fire lit in his gut but it was pure hot red anger from himself , instead of the anger from him and his stand combined.

Bakugo took that as him not hearing what he said, so he said it again.

And that really set in stone was this body was about to do to him.

He punch him directly in the face, knocking over the cereal that was balancing in his spoon and ignored the gasps of the bystanders.

He would’ve went back for another but he was being pulled away by this really tall dorky guy.

He admitted to himself that the guy was pretty handsome.

“Eijirou, what has gotten into you?!” He pulled him away further as the blonde stood up with anger written all over his face.

“No one insults the hair of the man that saved me! No fucking one!” He tried pulling away from the nerdy dude but boy was he strong.

The lighting bold guy seemed to have to hold the other dude back from trying to let off some kind of explosion near him.

“Who saves you?” Mina looked confused.

“Look, My name is Josuke and that hot shovel faced asshole insulted the hair of the person that saved my life!”

“Josuke? Wait hold on, you’re saying your not Kirishima Eijirou.”

“No! I got switched with him by some kind of stand user or something! Now let me go so I can pummel him!”

“A stand?” Mina looked at him weirdly.

“Fuck.” He was hoping this “Kirishima” kid wasn’t doing anything weird with his body or messing up anything.

——

“So this is what it’s like to be tall!” Kirishima ran down the stairs of a house he didn’t at all recognize and was greeted by a rather tall purple haired woman when he reached the kitchen he presumed.

Maybe tallness ran in the family.

“Hello, Ma’am.” He waved at her nervously, not sure of who the woman was or who’s body he was in.

The lady picked up a knife, holding it towards Kirishima threateningly, the boy backing away.

“Who are you and where is my baby?” She said darkly, the knife glinting in the light.

“Huh?”

“Josuke never calls me ma’am. And he never comes down those stairs with his hair undone unless it’s a weekend.” The knife was getting dangerously close to his neck.

“I’m sorry but I’m not your son. I’m Kirishima Eijirou, and I’ve switched bodies with him, I think? I don’t what’s going on or who you are.” Either this Josuke kid could sweat a lot, or his sweat glands got transferred to this body.

“Switched? But where’s my baby?” She wasn’t holding the knife to his neck anymore but she still looked prepared to slice and dice him.

“I think he’s in my body. This could be the work of a quirk user or something, I’m not too sure.”

The lady fainted suddenly, the knife coming out of her hand and clattering to her floor.

“Oh fuck!” He was about to approach her to try and see if she was ok but a new figure bursted in, the door being unlocked by an outside force, probably a key.

“Josuke?” The new comer asked, his eyes shiny as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Hey man, it’s not what it looks like! She fainted, and I don’t know what’s going on!” God, was everyone the type to fight first and ask questions later here?

The guy came over in a few strides and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, the motion alerting this really big pink guy that smelled oddly like strawberries.

“Crazy D, you know who this guy is?” The guy was really strong or something since he just shook him like a limp rag doll.

‘Crazy D’ looked at him with a weird glare, and the guy shook his head, shrugging with a confused “Dora.”

“What is that?” He pointed behind the guy, The Hand having been summoned at the mention of Crazy D.

“You’d know that if you were Josuke, and so since I don’t wanna cave my own boyfriends face in without giving whoever you are a chance, you got five seconds.” The guy robot he summoned looked ready to slice him in half too.

Normally, Kirishima would fight back but since he had no idea who he was, where he was, or what he was working with in terms of fighting back, he decided to bitch out just this once.

“I’m Kirishima Eijirou, I go to U.A, Im from Musustafa, I’m 16 years old, and my quirk is Hardening!” He flinched away when he felt that his explanation wasn’t good enough, but the punch didn’t come.

The guy let go of his collar.

“Alright, a stand user trying to actively kill us wouldn’t give himself away like that but I swear to god if you try anything funny, you’ll be having a talk with the hand.” The boy glared at him, making sure that hand thing was on stand by.

While the guy helped Tomoko onto the couch, Kirishima went to the nearest phone and dialed the number in.

There were a couple rings before he heard an energetic ‘Present Mic speaking!”

“Daddi-o!”

“Eijirou?”

“Yes!”

“Thank goodness! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m in this Josuke kid’s house and I have like no idea where I am!”

“You’re in Morioh.” The guy said from the couch, where he was helping Tomoko wake up.

“This guy said I’m in Morioh!”

“My names Okoyasu.”

“I’m with Okoyasu. Luckily, he let me speak before he tried icing me out.”

“At least we’re know you’re safe! The kid in your body, his name is Josuke and he’s actually a pretty nice kid when he stopped trying kill Bakugou. Something about his hair, it’s actually pretty cool, you should see it-”

There was a struggle over the phone and a brief ‘hey!’ Before he recognized his dad’s tired voice being put on the phone.

“We captured the villain. Luckily it wasn’t what this Josuke kid calls a ‘stand user’ otherwise it’d be up to you and you’re not able to control his stand.”

“Thank goodness. Dad, How soon can I get my body back?”

“Well, actually the quirk only lasts for a few hours and it should end right about now. Brace yourself.”

Kirishima dropped the phone from his hand and blacked out, he doesn’t remember hitting the ground.

“Hey, Kirishima!” He felt someone patting his cheek, trying to rouse him from his sleep.

He blinked his eyes, a blurry vision of pink and yellow coming into view.

“If your really Kirishima finish this phrase.” Sero said from above him, he could presume he was probably on the ground right now.

“Precisely.“ Kaminari started, Kirishima’s eyes lighting up.

“Damn, I’m late for school!” He sat up, actually seeing that the arms he was fist pumping were his and the friends he was looking at were his.

“Woah, hold the phone!” He looked up at his forehead and saw something blocking his view. “What is this?” Kirishima grabbed his pocket mirror, because he’s he owned a pocket mirror for just such occasions of keeping his spikes in order.

But it wasn’t spikes.

It was a pompadour.

“Yo Daddi-o, can I borrow your phone?” Kirishima asked Present Mic after his friends helped him off the floor and into a chair.

He called the last number, and it rung for a second before a voice he recognized answered the phone.

“Tomoko speaking?”

“Hello Mrs. Tomoko, I’m the kid your son switched bodies with. Sorry for the uh..trouble.” The redhead coughed.

“No trouble at all, as long as I have my son back in his rightful place and you back in yours. Would you like to talk to him? He says he’d very much like to talk to you.”

Kirishima heard Josuke whine to his mom to stop embarrassing him.

“Hello?”

——-

[inkribbon796]

Like a House of Cards Ch. 2: Not What He Seems

Summary: With their new glitch in the system captured, the heroes need to figure out what to do.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

After they had finally caught him, Logan didn’t scream or hiss at them. He was entirely too calm, just sitting within the circle, seemingly meditating or sleeping. One leg knit under the other, his back perfectly straight, and his eyes closed.

It wasn’t until Marvin walked in that Logan seemed to glare at him with unfathomable hatred, and because Nate and Bing were close enough that they watched his pupils dilate with robotic precision.

He didn’t say anything, just staring at Marvin and Nate.

“Logan?” Joan came as close as he was allowed. “You okay, buddy?”

The trapped Suit broke eye contact with Marvin to look at Joan. To them he seemed perfectly normal. His normal polo shirt and square glasses. His mouth was its usual flat line. “I am more than sufficient.”

To Joan, Logan didn’t look like a demon. He looked like he always had.

“Hey big guy,” Marvin smiled, leaning down a bit with his hands on his knees. “Don’t worry, we’ll make yeh[1] feel better soon.”

“When I get out of this, I will shove your tongue through your larynx and make a xylophone out of your rib cage,” Logan threatened Marvin.

“Yikes,” Marvin commented, the venom in the threat surprising everyone. “What did I do? Piss in yer[2] coffee?”

“If you had just done that I would have killed you outright and been done with it,” Logan didn’t even blink.

“How far gone is he?” Marvin asked, “I’ve ne’er[3] seen one go through a shift.”

“Hard to say,” Nate sighed. “He should still be within the first stages, but he’s got all the signs of a fully turned demon.”

“Would twenty fookin[4] years be enough?” Marvin suggested.

Nate shook his head, “No, he would have much more apparent signs that the process was starting.”

Ethan and Chase ran in, Ethan was looking around, “You guys catch him?”

Then he stiffened nervously, “Oh there he is, is that Logan, he doesn’t look like a demon.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem, he reeks of glitch demon aura,” Mare told him. Mare got dangerously close to the circle, hoping for a territorial reaction but Logan just stared at him. “He’s been coached. He should be hissing at me. He should be doing something.”

Logan just stared at him, not blinking and not defending or rejecting Mare’s accusation.

“So who got you that body?” Mare asked. “I know you’re in one.”

“Perhaps you should go and pleasure yourself with a cactus, you might find your answers there,” Logan told Mare.

“Points for creativity, Pixels,” Mare smiled and he could have sworn he saw the shadow of a smug smile on his face.

“How far along is he?” Ethan asked, kneeling next to Logan but not within arm’s reach. “I didn’t know people could turn into demons.”

“They do it all the time, if there’s enough trauma to the soul to cause it,” Mare explained.

Bing suddenly raced out of the room, he’d been trying to get the base off the lockdown protocol and the instant he did was flooded with messages and warnings. The city was in a crisis while they’d been off line. “Battle stations, everyone. There’s something wrong.”

Wade, Jackie, and Marvin raced out with Bing as Mare and Nate hesitated next to Logan. Ethan was right behind the three and Jackie had already dashed off to the comms room as fast as the corners allowed.

Once the three remaining heroes had cleared the doorway, “Ethan” elbowed through a piece of weak glass and pressed in a code before hitting the big button that sealed the entryway and the common room from the rest of the base.

Wade turned around to see the smile on Hearts’s face as the door shut closed and the anti-magic wards came up to protect the base from magical intruders.

“The hell, Crank,” Nate shouted.

“Chase” took out a baton and slammed it into Mare, and caused the demon’s tentative corporeal form to shatter apart and rush for Nate’s body for safety. The sudden rush of aura caused Nate to collapse and drop to the ground, unconscious.

“Five minutes,” Chase set his watch.

“We won’t even need two,” Ethan chuckled as he took something off his belt and cuffed Nate’s hands in magic-nullifying cuffs. Then he pulled up a chair and smiled at Logan. The Suit made a pretty pathetic mockery of Logan’s voice. “I’m not gonna get captured, I know what I’m doing. I’m fuckin’ Logan. I’m hot shit in a fucking champagne glass.”

“Enough,” Logan glared at him.

“Oooh, I can go through walls, I’m unstoppable” Ethan taunted.

“Are you going to help me or not?” Logan growled, clearly angry.

Ethan leaned forward, the tip of his nose centimeters from crossing the circle’s barrier, “So how’s Patton?”

“Safe,” Logan promised, his tone dangerous. “I told you, he doesn’t feel anything anymore. Complete topor.”

“I know not to trust a demon,” Ethan reminded. “ Especially when they’re trying to sell me bullshit. I saw him when you took him out last time. He was looking bad.”

“He’s fine,” Logan snarled. “I have the situation under control. He is not a threat, he is sleeping.”

“Fine, let me hold him, and I’ll let you back out,” Ethan proposed.

“You are not taking him anywhere,” Logan growled. “He is mine.”

“You demons are just sad, old bastards who can’t let the past die,” Ethan reminded. “If you actually cared you’d take Patton out into the Mojave and I don’t know, turn him loose. Not like he’s gonna start killing immediately. You guys don’t lose everything day one, right?”

Then bangs on the door began in earnest and Chase glared at Ethan, “Two minutes, huh?”

“Hey math, wasn’t my strong suit,” Ethan chuckled and broke the circle with his foot. Logan immediately rushed for the door. He was out first before slamming into the barrier that had been designed to keep Lunky in now kept Logan in.

Chase caught up and his hand went through the back Logan’s chest and grabbed the handle of a blue solid state drive, a single golden heart locket hanging from the notch on the drive. the nanites surged into the drive just before Chase took him through the boundary. Ethan was hot on his heels as they raced out. They stilled to a halt at the sight of the huge black energy dome that covered over half the town.

“Well that was fast,” Ethan said as he looked up. “What is this, the second time we’ve seen the dome?”

“Yeah,” Chase commented and brought up a nanite shield and braced as Jackie slammed into it. “Fookin’[4] go!”

The nanites surged around the solid state drive and Logan appeared, his eyes still glowing a fierce blue for a couple seconds after forming.

“I’ll get the generator,” Logan called out as Ethan disappeared with his invisibility. He took a step before Bing was facing towards him with a laser.

“Yer not goin’ anywhere,”[5] Bing warned.

“Crank, where are yeh[1]?” Marvin demanded angrily. “I just wanna[6] talk.”

“The hell are yeh fookers?”[7] Jackie spat at Chase. “Yer[8] not Average.”

Jackie felt a ripple of time wash over them and at first felt relief, until he was suddenly face-first on the asphalt, Bing was a block down from them and fighting with Logan, and Marvin felt already drained of some magic in a fight he couldn’t remember.

Then there was the harsh force of a foot stomped into Jackie’s back. “Why don’t you take a rest, ol’[9] boy?”

Jackie felt horror coursing through his system, a matching look on Marvin’s face. The speeder knew that voice, he hadn’t heard it in years and it was half buried by a filter, but the cadence was the same.

He looked up to see J.J standing there, his foot planted squarely on Jackie’s back. He should have felt relief that he was here to help. But all he felt was a cold chill.

J.J was mute. Magic nor medicine had helped after Anti’s first attack against him and his emerging powers had destroyed his vocal cords.

And the idea of fighting another J.J terrified him.

“You seem troubled, old boy,” J.J had a smile on his face, his voice sounded like an old timey radio announcer, but that voice was fed through a crackling speaker of some kind.

“No,” a slow dawning washing over Séan like an ice bath. How the imposters had gotten so close. How they had managed to stay unseen for so long. And how none of them had been reset to prevent it.

If not for Joan’s text who knows how long they would have gotten away with it?

“How?” Jackie asked. “What’d yah do ta J.J?”[10]

“Well the lad wouldn’t keep helping us so he had to take a little vacation,” false-J.J admitted. “He should be back in about two weeks.”

“What do yeh[1] want with us?” Jackie demanded. “We got somethin’ yeh want?”[11]

That question earned Jackie a smile, and moved to open his mouth but another ripple in time happened and J.J jumped back just in time to not get hit by Silver who was flying by. Bob and Amy charging in at the same time. Bob’s shield hitting something as he was rolling in. Which was Ethan, and it caused his invisibility to go out for a second which let Marvin blast him with magic and Ethan was further knocked back.

“Googs, now is not the time ta grow a ****in’ conscious, help me catch ‘im!”[12] Bing shouted as he was chasing Logan back towards the base who was shooting from electrical outlet to electrical outlet trying to escape towards the Gainesville part of the city. Google wasn’t that far behind.

Chase’s arm was covered with nanites and he snagged Logan out of the air, pulling out his solid state drive by the handle. Marvin watched the little locket jingle. “Hold it, hold it Lo.”

There was an angry crackle of electricity before Logan reformed as Bing and Google followed him out of the closest electrical outlet or bundle of wires.

The heroes and villains around the area facing down against the Suits as the dome loomed overhead in the city’s skyline.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations

1. you

2. your

3. never

4. fucking

5. You’re not going anywhere

6. want to

7. Who the hell are you fuckers?

8. You’re

9. old

10. What did you do to J.J?

11. We got something you want?

12. Googs, now is not the time to grow a fucking conscious, help me catch him!

[monochromemedic]

Yeah I’ll admit, I really need to find out more about the Fallout and Borderlands boys. I keep meaning to. Well, there must be a way we can still talk about it. Um . . . Maybe I could be like a sounding board? You can all say your thoughts on your them and I’ll respond? I wanna help in any way I can.

long 

Boone’s backstory is so sad and depressing you can tell that Carla was probably his first and only love and if not he loved her to death and the fact he had to kill her or thought that was the right thing to do to save her from being a slaver while she was pregnant honestly was the right choice seen as how the slavers are insinuated to be treated and have literal bomb collars on them and the fact that that haunts him so much along with the fact he committed the war crime at Bitter Springs and just makes him cruel, quiet and rude even though he’s a bit caring through all the stuff makes me sad and it’s so memed on probably because Boone is so secretive about it and it’s his whole backstory but it’s so good and sad and i think meme on it to make it hurt less. Boone might be shorter then alot of the companions in the game but like he’s strong and built kinda he’s a bit squishy but like that bitch shoots like a god damn champ i love that asshole Deacon should have been romanacable, his backstory is also pretty fucking sad of him being a bigot against synths and then when he actually killed a supposed synth he saw how sick it was and wanted to change his life and move on from his stupid college group he was in only to find out the girl he was with is wife when he settled down was a synth and his group came back and killed her and he went apeshit and killed them all back and then got into the railroad to help synths and was probably so disgusted in himself and his pass he doesn’t use his real name anymore and changed his face so many times apparently and all his disguses have sunglasses probably meaning he doesn’t like to show his eyes is just sad he’s so self hating despite how cheerful and jokey he seems on the outside. Like when you go to pretty sites there’s a chance he’ll go ‘she would have liked this’ and the first time i heard that in the lighthouse it broke my heart like i’d wanna help him move on he’s so scared to get close to literally anyone but he deserves to move on. Sturges is underrated little fucking greaser mechanic southern hospitality built like a brick shit house secrectly a synth why the hell can’t I fuck him or have him as a companion fucker builds a teleporter out of scrap he’s cool let me kiss him Todd Howard. Danse is great big secret synth, war asshole so eager to please and be involved and loved that he goes and be’s with douchebags to be accepted he’s way too good and im glad you can get him out of there because he deserves the world. hes so shocked when you say you like him or love him he’s so shocked it hurts with his big old puppy eyes that guy has probably never been with anyone ever and it’s sad because he’s great and he talks like a robotic dipshit. Vaughn is a champ short short king. literally short then like everyone of his friends. smart ass boy, secretly buff cause he ‘put an exercise bike in his cubicle’ is funny but they fucked him over so much in borderlands 3 just making him a psychotic asshole who loves his body so much running around naked and doing nothing he’s so much more then that and the fact they don’t take advantage of the great lore he had and flanderized him into this one note annoying character pisses me off to no end and if in the next game he isn’t in there and isn’t fixed i’ll do it myself doing my boy so dirty. Like yeah he would adapt to being on this alien world with cruel creatures and people to kill him but it was shown that he CAN and did it well in a short time but apparently the more time he spent on there he went crazy like no there’s people who have lived there or have been there for longer and didn’t go crazy why the hell would vaughn would, they just wanted ‘haha silly small buff man’ that’s so shallow he’s so much more he helped take down handsome jack, he helped his fellow helios survivors and was a leader for them on Pandora and made a small little army bandit group that was well put together. he’s also so down on himself thinking that Rhys is so cool and that he questions one time that Rhys will leave him cause he’s meeting so many cool people and handling it well and thinks that Rhys will go so far and he’ll just be left there like that’s sad. Rhys is weird but so put together, fought off handsome jack ai and made great sacrifices like he ripped off his own robot arm and cybernetics in his head and eye to ‘kill’ him that takes so much guts. they also kinda fucked him over in borderlands 3 but not as much as Vaughn. They made him seem inept and more like a joke but Rhys is entertaining as he is he doesn’t need to be so childlike. I’m happy get got his company like he wanted and revived Atlas into a great gun company and honestly the Atlas guns are some of my favorites in that game it’s just so fun good on him. Tim has been through so much. getting plastic surgery and faking his death to him mom who laughed when she heard he ‘died’ just to pay off student loans is so real but depressing in the same vain and then he had to work directly under Handsome jack who hit on him and then made him do so much dirty work and then locked him in a casino full of other doublegangers of jack and now he’s the only one that’s alive and he’s fucked up in the head starting to act  a bit like Jack cause of Dna implanted in him which idk how much that would work but he has to write on the wall to remind him he ISN’T jack like fuck you jack you are such a bastard man Tim is a sweetheart. Like yeah Tim can shoot you in the face and not care but it’s not what he wanted and he shows cowardness and disdain for it alot of the time.

[mrf34r4rch1ve]

 < mr s4 spoilers >

hey so here’s my running commentary of 401 UNAUTHORIZED under the cut 

Does USA’s audio sound awful for anyone else? Unbearable echo-y?

These foley artists on Price’s footsteps though good shit

OH MY FUCKING GOD OH NO NOT SO EARLY NOT SO NOT SO HOLY SHIT FUCK

WE KNEW BUT SO FUCKING SOON???????

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER YOU JUST LOST VIEWERS FOR THE SEASON ESMAIL DAMN

Oh shit the new G...G name guy for Whiterose

WHO ALSO HATES ELLIOT? Wow. Whiterose has a trend with assistants who hate Elliot deeply. They must all love her in some capacity.

“My dear Elliot”

HE WILL NOT ENJOY HIS CHRISTMAS YOU KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND

love this credits in the middle thing tho.

GIVING US TIME TO GRIEVE are you YA SICK BASTARD

Oh damn Dark Army owns fred

ANOTHER FUCKING PEDOPHILE WHAT THE FUCK WHY ESMAIL WHY WHY WHY

Thanks MR. Glad you also hate pedos.

I WAS JUST TAKING A MOMENT TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT I GIVE A FUCK. I DONT.

Imagining this in Elliot’s voice is so good too.

YOU FUCKER ESMAIL YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN HIS NAME? DOES HE HAVE A NAME? HE DOESNT CALL HIMSELF MR OR HE WOULDNT HAVE SCOFFED AT KRISTA TWICE?

Subtitles called Tyrell a CEO instead of CTO. He would gag at the thought.

HE HAS A FUCKING BLUETOOTH oh no it’s one earbud. I love my dad.

AS FAR AS YOURE CONCERNED IM EVERYWHERE

EYYYY NICE MR NICE

Is Ed actively gonna get this guy killed just to meet with Dark Army

WORKING TOGETHER YAAAASSS HEY BABE HI ELLIOT DAMN WOW NICE

THANKS I LOVE IT

THE OPPOSITE OF THANKS I HATE IT

EXCEPT ABOUT ANGELA

Fred Elliot already knows that shit.

YUP SEE HE SAYS IT

Stop lying Fredward. He’s fucking lying. I know he’s lying. He just wants to kill Elliot in an abandoned alleyway.

OH SHIT THE BADGE

hdjshd Fred figured it out.

OHHH SHIT BYE

ELLIOT IF YOU CHECK IT OUT THEN DARK ARMY WILL KNOW YOU KNOW SHIT MAN

Ty-Rell Ty-Rell Ty-Rell!!!

How’s baby gonna let off some steam huh? Is he okay? Cry? Break things?

I LOVE THAT MUSIC THO TAP TAP MOTHERF— oh no Dom is ill from being evil all the time

Is that Ed??????? In Dom’s house???

Oh omg. Jdjshdjdjd it’s a plumber

Glad the plumber is...being cool abt that fjdjdj

Omg in the abandoned Allsafe—

I love them working together fuck.

I LOVE THAT THEYRE IN THE DAMN ALLSAFE OFFICE.

Ed doesn’t wanna rush in? Good. Character development.

I love their diff in philosophy damn. Ed’s confusion abt Elliot’s stance on bad people dying.

Do either of them know about Angela though?

Oh shit there it is.

IM DONE WITH THERAPY SESSIONS. AHHHH.

And you know Ed is the one having to eat and keep them healthy since Elliot is “only focused on Whiterose and the 1%.”

OH SHIT THEY DONT KNOW THEY MEANT SOMETHING F— OH.

Oh shit. No you didn’t baby.

ED HAD TO TAKE IT ELLIOT COULDNT DO THIS, SHIT. FUCK. HES DONE THIS BEFORE HES ALWAYS DOES THIS FOR DARLENE.

ELLIOT GETTING PISSED IS WORSE. ELLIOT GETTING PISSED AND IN DARLENES FACE IS WORSE THAN ROBOT. ITS WORSE.

Their apartment is fucking nasty, thank you set designers.

Ed don’t start. Ed. Oh. That’s not a bad idea. WAIT WHAT WAS THAT WAS THAT ANGELA FIGHT CLUB P.ENIC PIC STYLE FUCK YOU ESMAIL.

ED HELLO DARLING. THANKS FOR TALKING TO US.

Ed drawing attention to the quiet ass hallway. Good. Love the colors.

“No shit.” “Ah, fuck.” I love them. “Did you hear me?” Ed checks the window all paranoid. baby.

Ed’s back in his hobo gloves Yassss gotta add that to my cosplay

ITS AN IRL HONEYPOT STFU DAMN

DAMN SHIT

DAMN

HIDE BOYS HIDE

OH SHIT THEY DIDNT HIDE IN TIME.

SHIT.

FUCK.

Mm that subtle homophobia from a family friend. Cool. Or a relative. Nice. Feels organic.

HDSJHDS AND THE JOKE DOESNT LAND JESUS.

Where’s Irv?

JDJSD WHY DID THE MOM SHARE ALL OF THAT. Also “a promotion” fjsjdjdbd

YES GIVE DOM A FRIEND

BUT NO NOT THAT ONE

OH FUCK. SHES DARK ARMY OH SHIT.

OH SHIT.

SHE TAXADERMISJFHSJFJDJDHDJSHD PEOPLE

AND THERE’S IRV BUT DIFFERENT FUCK

hdjshdjs Flat earther’s tho

Oh no Angela’s ballet shoes :( fuck you esmail :(

Godddddddddd Darlene

GODDDDDD WTF ARE THEY DOING TO ELLIOT

Omg. Elliot they don’t give a shit about that. Oh poor thing. Nopeeeee they’re killing you......

ESMAIL ABT TO KILL HIS OWN BOY DAMN

GOODBYE FRIEND

OH FUCK

OH FUCK

ALFRED HITCHCOCK UP IN THIS BITCH HOW YOU GONNA GET OUTTA THIS ONE ELLIOT IS IT STRONGER THAN MORPHINE??

YUP IT IS

Oh shit there he goes....

Oh my god Krista? OH SHIT ITS HIS MOM OH SHIT ITS FJDJDJD

THE TEAR

HAHA YEAH RIGHT

FUCKING BITCH

I LOVE YOU BITCH (Esmail)

AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BIIIIITCH (Esmaaaail)

Oh hey Price

[nonipsduck]

Hey fellas, I’m back again with our Indruck- oriented server, Eggnostic! I’m Alexander, and 1/3rd of the mod team, but more importantly, I’m here to say that we will be accepting members again for a short period of time! Details under the cut.

We’re friendly, chatty folks- if you’re not interested fast-paced convos we probably aren’t for you! We do our best to keep things fresh and active, but as a result of such, have found it necessary to implement several rules. I ask you read over them before you decide if this server is for you or not.

1) Be Cool

   1A) This includes respecting these creators. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to their face, both in terms of subject and tone. The language you use conveys a different meaning (ie saying ‘griffin goofed that a little vs berating him) and that matters.

   1B) Going off of the above point, we have decided to ban hypothetical “maybe whys” regarding late episodes. While often well-meaning in giving them credit for not being perfect-content producing machines, it does not change the fact that theories are for characters, not real people.

   1C) We also have decided to ban anxiety-ridden “What-ifs” regarding on why episodes may be delayed: if it is causing you serious emotional distress, it belongs in vent (however if the conversation spirals into people spouting off what-ifs we will intervene).

2) c'mooooooon

   2A) We discourage hyper-analysis of TAZ as it is simply put, not built or meant for that and will not stand up to such analysis, which can be a big downer on a server about loving TAZ. There is no actual prohibition on such conversations… for the time being.

   2B) Our stance on art/fic shaming is as follows: If it falls under obama's second amendment, such as whitewashing tones or features, conflicts with LGBT/ND/POC canon or headcanons (bearing in mind lots of folks are projecting their own real-life struggles), or the content is so horrifically awful (:remyvore:), you're fine. Direct attacks on the arts style, quality, and general artistry will not be tolerated.

id like to make sure everyones actually reading these to some extent, so please tell me your favorite amnesty character n why when you ask to join!

   2C) Related to the aforementioned headcanons, there will be little tolerance for "but why"-ing POC,ND, and LGBT headcanons. It is also unnecessary to insert that you disagree with someone else's headcanon on such topics. Serious, genuine discussion is fine.

   2D) Minimum server age is 14, Maximum 25. Please do not invite anyone to the server without privately asking a moderator. Public requests will be ignored and/ or deleted.

   2E) We want to highlight everyone art fairly, so #art-and-stuff has a 5 minute (ish) cooldown between art posts. We just ask you wait five or so minutes before posting your art after someone else.

   2F) Please be conscientious in both vent channels. Obviously ‘mood’, ‘same’, ‘kin’ ‘f’, ect are entirely inappropriate and won't be tolerated, longer messages with the same message (‘yea i’ve been there sucks man, oh yeah me too, ect) are equally unwelcome. Overly dismissive, Overly aggressive, or condescending (in nature or tone) solutions are also not appropriate.(edited)

3) nice.

   3A) We love goofs and japes, and for this we have #really-wild-shit . For serious and horny NSFW discussion, we have exactly no channel because we don’t want it here. At all. Thanks.

4) We'd like to keep a deeply connected server, and in that case it does not make sense to have everything fall under the mods jurisdiction. If you find something to be in poor taste or in violation of OMA, simply respond with an :eye: emoji. If you need immediate action, or would like a mod to address a situation in any way, simply shoot us a ping.(edited)

5) Blacklist content. Not to be discussed or mentioned in any context. DM mod to add.

   - Drug Use

   - Alcohol

   - Self Harm

   - Suicidal Ideation + Threats

It is worth noting that these are rules for members already within the server, who have already established that they have many hc’s, theories, ect in common. While we cannot ask, much less enforce the following, know the following going in:

> Duck content is all presumed Trans unless stated otherwise… although if you feel the need to state otherwise you probably won’t enjoy the server anyways.

> George is the result of a 3+ hour debate over voice call and is the collective child of not only Indrid and Duck, but our server as a whole. He was and continues to be something we bond over. I’m not saying you gotta know all the lore (because good lord I dont even know it all) but realistically you’ll wanna at least enjoy the little raccoon king we’ve created.

> The rules are clear about NSFW content, but to elaborate on an area in particular: this server is Indruck and Barclane oriented. Chatter of other, conflicting ships isn’t… restricted, but folks are allowed to nip and tease ya. The exceptions only being age gap content (Duck/Pidge, Duck/Leo, Duck/Ned, basically anything around a 20+ age difference. ) and Anyone x Beacon content (he’s a sword with a mouth, and we know you aren’t thinking of him whispering sweet nothings).

> That being said we loooove a good goof. There are several running jokes and recurring topics that may make you uncomfortable, including but not limited to: vore, oviposition, piss, monster and robot fuckers, ect. They’re 110% ironic, but do occasionally spill out of the wild-shit channel for the sake of us being funny bastards.

if you’d like to join, reply to this post, do NOT dm me. im busy this week and it lets the other mods help out too.

We’ll be accepting 10 new folks, and its not super first come first serve. If you join and find that we aren’t for you, no worries: we do not have public exit messages. Thanks for reading!

[the-desert-dancer]

I got tagged by the amazing @vaultsexteen, so Imma try and do this with my newest Courier, Solomon Tilo. I hope this is good? Anyway lets start this!

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same

1. What is your name?

Its Solomon. Solomon Tilo

2. How old are you?

Well daddy dearest never bothered keeping track of that information, so how should I know? 40, maybe.

3. What do you look like?

Someone you don’t wanna piss off, that good enough of an answer? I’m tall, bulky, and got a face not even a mother could love.

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now?

No place you’ve ever heard of. I come from Cave Creek, a place in what used to be Arizona. See, I knew you wouldn’t know where it is. Anyway, where I live now? I’m currently stuck in the Mojave, but I don’t have any permanent location. I prefer it that way.

5. What was your childhood like?

Oh my childhood was just delight after delight. Forced to participate in fights to the death in the afternoon, beaten like a dog by my drunk dad in the evening. Absolutely delightful childhood, it was. Happy you brought it up now?

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

Allies? All allies are, are people who haven’t stabbed you in the back yet. So no, I am not ‘allied’ with any faction. I’m friendly enough with the NCR, long as they don’t go sticking their nose in my business.

7. Tell me about your best friend.

Didn’t you just hear me talking a few seconds before? I ain’t got no allies or friends, just the way I like it. So stop asking me dumb questions, before I start getting really pissed off.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

I have a family, but it ain’t none of your business who they are. Next question.

(Author’s Note: Solomon has three younger siblings, all of whom currently reside within NCR territory).

9. What about a partner or partners?

Do I look like the type of man interested in sex? Its what causes men in my line of work to get killed; they sleep around, let their guard down, and sooner than later they end up with a knife in their chest and their caps stolen.

10. Who are your enemies, and why?

Oh, the Legion easily. As much of a bastard as I am, I ain’t into the flesh trade. Unlike a lotta people, I’ve been in Legion territory; my old home town got burnt to the ground by the Legion, the only good thing those Bull fuckers have ever done. But the things I’ve seen Legion soldiers do to their captives...that shit is too much even for me, and I once curb stomped a guy’s head into the pavement til it was just red paste.

11. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

Yeah, I heard of them. Once all big and mighty, hoarding tech and acting all superior to everyone else. Now? Now they’re just rats, hiding in their little caves, praying no-one finds them. I would feel bad for them, if I gave a shit.

12. What about The Enclave?

*Solomon lets out a loud laugh* Oh the big bad Enclave, the boogie man of the Wasteland. All the time when I was a kid, I had to hear stories about just how scary the Enclave was, about all the horrible ways they could take me or my family away and no-one will ever see them again. Now? They’re just ghosts, a forgotten memory. So why should I be concerned about the dead, huh?

13. How do you feel about Super Mutants?

Only thing in the Wastelands uglier than me. Most of those Muties are crazier than a Jet addict going through withdrawals and deserve to be put down. Simple.

14. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

I’ve been fighting for years, things tend to blend together for me honestly. If I had to choose...it’d have to be this fight I had years ago, with this Great Khan, I don’t even know what his name was. This fucker was hopped up on so many chems, he just wouldn’t go down. I broke his fingers, his nose, even his goddamn right knee. He just kept getting back up and charging me, screaming like a freaking lunatic. Took a bullet to the brain to finally put his ass down.

15. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

You know, I once knew a mercenary, name was Obu. Big guy, dumb as bricks. Fancied this girl who wouldn’t even give him the time of day. Well Obu got it into his big dumb brain that if he killed a Deathclaw and brought its head back as a trophy, then this girl would finally give a shit about him. Well when the search party finally found Obu, half of him was spread out across the ground and the other half was in a Deathclaw’s belly.

Why did I tell you that little story? Well do you think I’m as fucking stupid as Obu was? Cause you don’t fuck with Deathclaws, you give them a goddamn wide berth.

16. Do you like fighting?

If that ain’t a loaded question...*Solomon chuckles, shaking his head*. No, not really. I hate it, every fucking second of it. Reminds me of when daddy dearest forced me to fight people to the death when I was just a kid. But ya know what? I use that in my fights. That anger, that hatred, that fucking fury, into beating up anyone that gets in my way. I want them to know just how I feel, when Im kicking their teeth in.

17. What’s your weapon of choice?

Whatever I can reach for. In the mercenary business, you can’t get too attached to your weapons; shit breaks after a while. But when push comes to shove? I can always rely on my fists, unlike these other mercs who piss themselves if they don’t got their precious fancy laser weapons.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

Charms? You’ve obviously never met me if you think I have any charm whatsoever. I survive cause I’ve been fighting people to the death since I was 14 and taken beatings since I was born. That enough of an answer?

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

Only when I’ve been really desperate and needed the caps. Those Vaults I tell ya, they’re death traps. Just experiments meant to fuck with people, and causing everyone to end up dead. That’s all those Vaults seem to do. Now why don’t I like going in Vaults? Cause the things that killed the original Vault Dwelllers, tend to still stick around. Like when I was hired to do a job in Vault 22…let’s just say I burned the entire goddamn Vault to the ground when I was done and locked it behind me.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

Stock up on Radaway and Rad-X, easy. It ain’t too hard.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

Molerats; easy to kill and easy source of meat.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

Anyone who’s a mercenary will agree with me on this; cazadores. Those fuckers pick up the scent of blood from miles away and will hunt you down til they're drinking you dry. Getting wounded out in the Wastes is a goddamn death sentence, if you’re picked up by a Cazador.

23. How do you feel about robots?

They exist. I don’t exactly trust them though; they just seem like they’re ready to kill you at any second.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now?  

Oh you don’t wanna know the answer to that question. Cause if I answer it, I’mma have to put your ass to sleep.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

Do I look like a kid?

26. Do you do chems?

Of course not. Chems are for fucking idiots who have more caps than common sense.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

Why should I think about them? They’re all dead, just ghosts. Even them ghouls who still are around, they’re not even alive; they’re just shells, dead people walking who don’t know their dead yet. I don’t bother myself with the dead, I focus on the living.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

I didn’t kill my dad sooner. Next question.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

My biggest achievement? I’m still alive. Who gives a shit about what you achieve, if you’re dead?

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

To still be alive, although I doubt it. Mercenaries ain’t exactly got a long shelf life, ya know. But that’s a road I’ll cross when I get to it.

I tag @goblin-deity, @fewal-cowboy, @cyndercrys, @vkm11 and @crackinglamb

[renzinator-now-blog]

Here’s my new Sole Survivor: Name: Moira “Moxie” Oxford Age:28 Pronouns/Identity: Ze/Zir Agender Ethnicity: Korean-American Career: conscripted into US Air Force Sexual Orientation: Lesbian S: 6 P: 1 E: 6 C: 1 I: 8 A: 1 L: 5 Ze’s a no nonsense, straight forward, punch the problem away kinda sole. They’re smart enough to problem solve, but prefer the “physcial” touch. Brass knuckles and tire irons are zir favorite, and Moxie will never turn down a drink. They’re Ambidextrous, Trilingual (Korean, Mandarin, and English), Hates sweets and children, loves dogs and robots. Ze only talks when ze has to.

Okay The Interesting Part, zir pre-war story: So to fix the crap start story without messing with the start me up mod, ive just head canoned a better reason for Nate, Shaun, Sanctuary Hills, and the disapointingly unrealistic forced career of Lawyer for “Nora” Okay so before being sent out to fight in the war Moxie had a normal life in the city working for the air force as a spy pilot and enemy chatter translator. Not Married, no kids. Then when Moxie gets shot down and shipped home Ze wakes up in the hospital with a whole new fake life. No explanation, no warning, just everything has been changed around them. Suddenly Moxie’s married, not only the most boring man in all of existence, but a man ze’s never heard of, much less met and married. Nate Noname, He talks as if theyve been married for years, calls ze she and Moira, zir birthname. Too weak to fight ze is taken back to what looks like a hastly constructed “American Dream” Levittown cul de sac, almost like a movie set. I mean theyre arent any other buildings anything like these “perfect” show model houses anywhere in Boston. Not to mention its smack dab in the middle of the Minutemen National Historical Park for gods sake. Once there it becomes apparent how deep this deceptive life replacement has gone. There was wedding pictures ze never posed for, knick knacks from their childhood. Their birth certificate, ID, social security card, bank accounts, hell even their answering machine ALL have “her” “married” name on them, even zir voice on the answering machine. Ze calls their parents, just to be congratulated on the wedding, they hang up before ze can get more information from them. All zir old contacts act this way, even ex girlfriends and old friends who know ze would NEVER marry a man. Ze gets desperate and calls zir superior officer in the Air Force only to be told “she” has never been in the armed forces and flatly deny that ze was shot down or ever even a pilot to begin with. Zir dog tags are gone, and so is their hap arnold airforce wings tattoo. The study has a diploma for a law degree in their maiden name. The neighbors all talk as if “she’s” their best friend, a perfect neighbor, baking pies and hosting game night, dismissing zir claims of being Moxie the pilot and not Moira the housewife and lawyer. when ze rushes back to their old apartment a few days later someone else lives there, no record or even the slightest mark that ze lived their for 8 years. Even the specific burn patterns on the counter from zir cooking fiasco, gone. If it wasnt for zir memories ze would have to believe this was always zir life, Moira Noname, wife to Nate, lawyer, homeowner, and social butterfly. Except none of it is true. weeks go by like this, ever new way ze thinks of to get away foiled, always corralled back into suburban hell with a wave and a smile. 2 days before the bombs fall Moxie’s nearly lost zir mind, zir identity. Ze’s starting to doubt their old life. It’s been 6 months since ze woke up, the only anchor Ze’s got left to their old life is the unwavering conviction that this cant be my real life because I would never identify as a woman again, and I defiently wouldnt marry a man. Still, Ze is nearly resigned to this fske life, stuck in a zombie like depression. Nate never wavers, always watching always cheerful, like he cant hear zir cuttting responses to his lovey dovey newlywed talk.Ze decides He’s either brainwashed or extremely dedicated. Ze sleeps on the couch, every attempt at renting an apartment or even a hotel room ending in excusses that the resources are need by the war effort, rooms always full, rental applications always lost. Back to the two days before the bombs, Nate suddenly starts panicing, exclaiming its time its time! Its okay honey ill get you to the hosptial just breathe, forcing “her” into the car off to the hosptial. The doctors act as if “shes” going into labor despite the obvious lack of a baby belly. The give zir something, ze passes out. When Moxue wakes up theres a baby in zir arms and that freak of nature Nate Noname beaming next to zir. He’s named it shaun. Its a real newborn, looking just as Korean as its “parents”. Moxie goes back “home” in a daze, baby in tow. Where did this infant come from, did they steal it from some poor couple, and how can Moxie be expected to take care if it!! Ze hates kids. Moxie cant love this strangers baby, but ze feels sympathy for it, ripped from its real life. Ze wont abandon it entirely, but their is no emotional connection to him. The day the bombs fall feels like a dream. Its like Ze’s walking on air the whole way to the vault, going as slow as possible, seeing the bombs fall would mean it wasnt a trick, even if they killed zir it would be worth it to get a final sense of reality. Nate waits for zir as ze waltzes down the paths out of sanctuary. Whatever or whoever has tied him to zir fate has throughly done their job, he seems to be ready to die for this role he’s playing. The baby, he’s holding it. Nate wont go in the vault without zer. Moxie’s not heartless enough to end the life of an innocent child. If it were only Nate she’d gladly watch that fucker burst into flames. But no, the child hasnt done anything to deserve this. So Ze gets on the platform, relieved when the ICBM screams overhead. It really is the end. Zir’s last thought before the platform pulls them in is “whose guinea pig am I going to be now?”

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR IF YOU DID!! Im gonna leave it opened ended meaning it could either be a really elaborate military experiment on one of their own soldiers to see if someone can be broken through sheer mental force into accepting a reality they know is false, OR ze had an compelte mental break and made up a fake life for themselves, either life could be the fake one. In the military version Nate is a sadistic yet dedicated solider playing a role for science and his country, shaun stolen from some poor couple shipped off to an interment camp. In the mental break version she really was married and pregnant, Nate watching helplessly as his wife looses her mind, trying to keep their life together. So yeah hope you like the idea. I prefer the militsry experiment version myself. I just really like this headcanon as it gives a great explanation for why Nate and Shaun feel so disconnected, distant, fake, or just plain boring from the sole survivor. Esp if youve played more than once. i mean the plot is only interesting the first time, after that i was like shaun who? Fuck adult shaun by the way. hes a stuborn racist bastard.