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Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10
Series Masterlist | Previous | Next
ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI
Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed
Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)
Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.
thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy
Chapter 10
âHow was it?â Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that sheâs been crying which doesnât surprise him.Â
âWeird.â She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. âThey asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.â
âItâs not too bad.â He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. âI was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.â
âReally?â She looks at him surprised.Â
âYeah.â He nods his head. âI was homeschooled as a kid so I didnât socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.â
âGood to know.â She nods, frowning.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â
âI just realized I donât actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.â She whispers, looking at the floor.Â
âWell feel free to ask questions whenever, weâll be happy to answer.â He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.
âYou okay?â Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side.Â
âYeah, it was just a lot.â She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription.Â
The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that.Â
âIâm gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.â He moves her to look at him. âDo you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?â
âI-I donât know. Iâve never taken stuff like this before.â She stutters. âBut Iâm wary because of the injections.â She then looks over at Jisung. âDoes it help you?â
âYeah, I think so.â He smiles at her. âI feel like Iâm able to get through the day easier with it. And donât worry, itâs nothing like how the injection was.â
Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. âHey, you can try them out for a bit and if you donât like how they make you feel or donât think theyâre helping then we can slowly get you off of it.â He reassures her. âWe did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.âÂ
âOkay.â She whispers. âIâll try it.âÂ
Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home.Â
ââşââ âž ââşââ
âBaby girl.â Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. âIâve noticed youâve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.â He shuts the door after she walks in.
She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. âI just realized today that I donât actually know a lot about all of you.âÂ
âThatâs all?â He watches her closely as she nods her head. âBaby, all you have to do is ask us questions and weâll tell you anything you want to know.âÂ
âCan you tell me about your family and where you came from?â She asks shyly. âI remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.âÂ
âYeah.â He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. âMy English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbinâs dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.â
The omega nods as she listens. âYour brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?â
âLucas is our only omega in my family pack too.â He smiled at her. âMy dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.â
âWould we ever be able to go visit Australia?â She whispers.
âOf course.â He lifts her head to look at him. âAs a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.â
Y/nâs jaw dropped. âHow did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?â
âI donât know, baby.â He laughs a bit. âFelix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.âÂ
âJi said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.â She looks over his facial features. âHow did everyone else come into the pack?â
âWell, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.â He smiles as she listens closely. âHe was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.â
âMinho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.â
âMin was a backup dancer for BTS?â Y/n gawks. âI donât believe it.â
âLook up some of their live performances, youâll see.â And she makes a mental note to do so later. âHyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasnât about courting his student.â
Y/n couldnât help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. âSo how did it finally happen?â
âFelix.â Chan smirks. âChangbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.â
âThatâs all really cute.â The omega gushes. âBest story ever.â
âI donât know.â He grins at her mischievously. âI think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.â He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so sheâs straddling him causing her to blush.
âChannie.â She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n canât help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.
Y/n starts to wonder if theyâre gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.
âYouâre thinking too much, baby girl.â The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. âJust say it.â
âPlease.â She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.
âYouâve gotta say it.â She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. âCome on baby, I donât know what youâre wanting if you donât speak up.â
âPlease claim me, alpha.â She sounds disparate.
âFuck.â He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. âWasnât expecting that.â
The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines sheâs making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesnât try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.
He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders.Â
Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so sheâs on the bed and heâs hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt.Â
âAre you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, Iâm not stopping.â He looks into Y/nâs eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. âWords baby, I need you to use your words.â
âYes alpha, Iâm sure.â
âGood girl.â He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. âFuck, my little omega, youâre already so wet.âÂ
Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans.Â
âDonât hide from me.â Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. âThere she is, my beautiful girl.â
âChannie.â Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. âYouâre teasing.â
âAm I?â He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. âWhatâs wrong? I thought you didnât want me to tease you? So I stopped.âÂ
âChan, please.â And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. âNo bra? Tsk, naughty girl.â
âTook it off when we got home.â Y/n pants. âIt was uncomfortable.âÂ
âOf course it was.â He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple.Â
She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers.Â
Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.
âYouâre so beautiful.â He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. âYouâre so tight, baby. If you canât take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?â
âI can take it.â The omega moans as he starts to finger her. âPlease alpha, I can, I promise.â
âLet me prep you first.â
He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers.Â
âChannie, please.â Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.
âMmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.â He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. âThis might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.â
âOkay.â Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in.Â
When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check sheâs okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.
âDoes it hurt?â
âA little.â The omega whimpers before grinding against him. âPlease move.â
Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.
âYouâre so tight, baby girl.â He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.
âPlease alpha, more.â And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well sheâs taking him.Â
When he sees some blood, which shockingly didnât make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing heâs taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.
âChannie⌠ah.â Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.
âFuck.â He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. âYou close baby?â
She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. âPlease, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.â
Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.
He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isnât until sheâs milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.
Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. âYou did so good, baby girl.â
âWanna bite you too.â The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasnât softened, keeping him in place.
Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants.Â
Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. âMy alpha.â
âThatâs right baby.â He coos and kisses her lips. âI love you so much.â
âLove you too.â
______________________________________________________________
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Double Barreled MFK
(A/N - I've seen these around, and I enjoy reading them. Check out @arc-misadventures and Master Posts of Posts V and V.V for some really interesting and entertaining combinations. This is inspired by their collection of much better written posts.)
Jaune Arc and Coco Adel were seated on the edge of Beacon's fountain, examining and discussing the various apparel that was being worn by Beacon Academy's "Hottest Huntress/Huntsman" poll.
For reasons unbeknownst to them they were neither on the list, nor had they been allowed to participate in the judging.
Nora: Jaune-Jaune!
Jaune: (Without looking up from his Coco's scroll) No.
Nora: But...
Jaune: (Looks up at Nora) I'm not...
Coco: Is she doing MFK with you again?
Jaune: Probably... (Looks at Nora) No... definitely.
Nora: Please? Last one... I promise!
Jaune: You said that the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and...
Nora: Okay. Sheesh beating a dead-horse there Fearless Leader.
Coco: Who were the choices?
Jaune: Coco?
Coco: Don't look at me like that. I'm curious on who she was going to try and temp you with.
Jaune: You know she's only going to try and rope you into this frustration if you pry.
Coco: I'm still curious. Who are the choices?
Nora: Yeah! Okay... Mr Arc. Ms Adel... Marry Fuck Kill...
Jaune: I never agr...
Coco: Shush!
Nora: Bachelorette number one! Fearless Leader's one and only partner, the mascot of Pumpkin Pete's... Pyrrha Nikos!
Pyrrha: Hi?
Jaune: What is she blackmailing you with... this time?
Pyrrha: Nothing?
Jaune: Nora?
Nora: Bachelorette number two! She is the fantasy MILF for tens of thousands! Her origins are shadowed in Mystery... the Tarnished Spartan!
TS!Pyrrha: Ah... hello?
Coco: OMG!
Jaune: How?
TS!Pyrrha: Nora asked me?
Jaune: But...
Nora: Jaune-Jaune... I. Have. My. Ways.
Jaune: But...
Nora: Don't. Question. Just. Accept. Understood?
Jaune: ...
Coco: Can I ask?
Nora: No.
Coco: Okay then.
Nora: And finally Bachelor number one...
Jaune / Coco: KILL!
Nora: Huh? But? I didn't get to...
Jaune: You said bachelor. That means it's a guy. I'm not into guys. Kill.
Coco: I'm not either. Kill.
Nora: Should have seen that one coming. Oh well. Jaune?
Jaune: I'd fuck the Tarnished Spartan and Marry Pyrrha.
Nora / TS!Pyrrha / Pyrrha: Why!?!
Jaune: (Sighs) The Tarnished Spartan... has always been a fantasy and I'd like to see if what I dreamt up matches reality, but in the end I want to have a family and live out my life with the one person here who has lifted me up and given me everything of themselves. So I'd marry Pyrrha.
Pyrrha: YES! I'll call my mom and get the preparations started!
Jaune: Huh?
Coco: Looks like you're off the market! Congratulations!
Nora: Okay, so... Coco... who are you going to Marry, and who are you going to Fuck?
Coco: I'm not a homewrecker so I'd have to get my brother from another mother's permission to give his waifu the time of her life at her Hen Party, and then I'd marry the Tarnished Spartan... preferably at the same ceremony as the man who would be my best man! Besides, as much fun as Nikos looks like she'll be... I want someone a little more mature.
TS!Pyrrha: I accept!
Coco: YES!
Nora: So... hmmmm....
Jaune: Nora?
Nora: So you both want to fuck the other's would-be wife. Sounds like you both are into partner swapping! NICE!
Jaune: I am n...
Coco: I'm game if you are.
Jaune: What???
Coco: Ladies, what say you? You up for some consensual fun before the nuptials?
Pyrrha and TS!Pyrrha look at each other...
Pyrrha/ TS!Pyrrha: YES!
Jaune: WHAT???
(A/N 2 - The third choices was Pyrros Nikos a character from @arc-misadventures' Swap Au which can be found here IV. A very talented writer with some awesome ideas/stories. If you haven't give them a look.)
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Nothing Ever After
Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro
Chapter Fourteen
chapter warnings: tiny mention of implied smut?
team vinny we are so up for the next few chapters :) sorry for the delay on posting this one, the next chapter might also be a little late because I'm soo busy this next week and I haven't had a chance to even begin editing it but as soon as I can I will get working on it because it's my favourite chapter I've written for this story so far and i really can't wait to share it with you!! <3
âââââ ââ
ââ
â âââââ
âYou donât have to hide it from me, yâknow?â Noah says, his hair falling over his eyes, hand gently placed on your waist as he smiles down at you, âI know how you feel about him.â
âWhat?â
âVinny. Iâve seen the way you look at him, itâs okay if youâre in love with him, thatâs why Iâve told him to meet us here.â
âHuh?â You laugh, "I'm not in love-"
âLook, heâs on his way.âÂ
You look up and see Vinny walking towards the both of you, something looked different about him, but he was definitely still him.Â
âSo you finally made your decision.â Vin smiles, a sparkle was in his eye that you had never seen before.
âWhat decision?â You didn't understand what was going on.
âYou agreed.â Said Noah, his thumb drawing circles on your hip.Â
âTo what?â You asked.Â
âI wasnât too sure at first when Noah suggested it, baby,â Vinny began, âBut the more I thought about it, the more I realised I wanted it.âÂ
It finally clicked, and you understood why the both of them were here. A rush of excitement rushed through you, adreneline in your veins as you look between the two men in front of you. Your lips crashed into Vinâs as Noahâs found your neck, youâd had this thought many times before, but you never thought it would actually happen.
âGod, I need you both,â you moan, feeling Vinnyâs- or was it Noahâs hand cupping your breast, as the others' hand came down to your ass, âPleaseâŚâ
âWhat do you think? Should we play nice?â Noah asked Vinny, who nodded his head.Â
"I think she deserves it."
"Please..." You whimpered, feeling Noah's hot breath tickle your ear as he whispered,
"Get on your knees, princess. Vin's being too kind, I think you need to earn it."
You dropped to your knees in front of Vinny, palming him over his joggers, the ache between your thighs was becoming unbearable as you tugged Vin's boxers down.
âY/n.â You heard Vin pant as you took him in your mouth, your tongue dancing over his tip before you take him down your throat, Noah's voice whispering praises as he plays with your hair, ây/nâŚâ
âY/n! Rise and shine!â Vinny shouted, waking you from your nap.Â
âWhat the fuck, Vin!â You groaned, rubbing your eyes, âYou just woke me up from the best dream Iâve had in years.â
âOh yeah?â He smirked, âwas I in it?â
âYou wish.â You groaned, sitting up to stretch your arms, ignoring how your underwear felt slightly damp as you moved, making you feel rather uncomfortable. âWhat are you doing here anyway?âÂ
âI broke my charger and Jollyâs letting me borrow his. Which oneâs his bunk?â
âThe one on top of mine.âÂ
âThanks.â He looks, and then freezes. He stands there in silence for a moment. You panicked internally, wondering if you were moaning his name in your sleep, âCan I ask you something?â
âSure, I guess.â You say, reaching around to see where you left your phone when you fell asleep to hide the redness of your cheeks.
âItâs going to sound insane.âÂ
âOf course, itâs coming from you.â You smirk.
âY/n, Iâm serious.âÂ
âOkay, sorry. Ask away.â You wondered what could be that serious.Â
âItâs my parentâs 40th wedding anniversary this weekend and theyâre having a party, they're renewing their vows...âÂ
âOkayâŚâ You expected him to ask you for help to re-dye his hair or to find something to wear or-
âThe thing is... My parents think I have a girlfriend, Iâve never told them I do or donât, but theyâre expecting me to bring someone. I, uh, wanted to ask you because,â youâd never seen Vinny look this nervous in the entire month that youâve known him, âWell, I thought maybe you could bring your camera, I could tell them my âgirlfriendâ is a photographer. Iâll make sure I tell them that weâve broken up next week so they donât keep asking about you or asking about our plans for the future or-â
"So you want me to be your imaginary girlfriend."
"No- Well, I mean it's not like, I mean you won't-"
âVinny, it's okay,â you smile, âIâll do it. I donât know how Iâll explain it to the rest of the guys-â
âIf any of them ask Iâll tell them youâre coming with me just as a photographer, Iâve already thought this through.âÂ
âWow,â you chuckle, surprised he'd really thought about this, âYou certainly have.âÂ
âSo youâll definitely come with me?â He asked, âI think my dad might be calling me later so Iâll let him know.â
âWhat kind of friend would I be if I said no,â you gave him an innocent smile, âTell Mr Mauro I said hello.âÂ
âOh, I was just coming to wake you up.â You hear Noahâs voice, âWeâve checked into our rooms, Iâm so glad weâre here for the next few days, I have so much work to get done.â He sighed, reaching for his laptop that he left in his bunk.
âVinâs just told me his parents are having an anniversary party this weekend and theyâve asked me to be their photographer, isnât that right, Vin?âÂ
âYeah," Vin scratches the back of his neck, "Theyâve seen some of the pictures y/n's taken from the last few weeks and asked if she was free this weekend. Itâs on Saturday night so weâll stay there and come back on Sunday.âÂ
âOh thatâs great,â Noah smiled, rubbing your shoulder, and all of a sudden seeing Noah and Vin both stood over you, you got a flashback to your dream. âAnd there you were weeks ago worrying you wouldnât get booked.â You smiled back at him, agreeing.
"Anyway that's all I had to say," Vin smiled, spotting Jolly's phone charger. You had to look away as he reached up to Jolly's bunk, his sweater raising and exposing the trail of hair below his belly button- "See you guys!"
"Bye Vin." You give him a little wave as he walked off.
âââââ ââ
ââ
â âââââ
Once youâve checked into your room and searched through your suitcase you realised you didnât really have anything to wear for this type of occasion. You had party outfits, casual outfits, but nothing you could imagine wearing for an anniversary party.
You sent a text to Angela asking if she was busy in the next couple of days and wanted to go shopping with you, you knew her schedule and knew she had nothing going on during your guys' break. It was currently Thursday, and the party was on Saturday night, meaning you and Vinny would have to leave in the morning or the night before to make it to his parent's town in time.
Whilst you were sat on your bed looking online for outfit inspiration, you heard a knock at your door. You throw your phone down on the bed and get up to see who was disturbing you. Â
âEverything okay?â You ask, letting him in.Â
âYeah, I just wanted to see you.â He smiled, shutting the door behind himself.
âYou see me pretty much everyday, Noah.â You laughed, sitting back down on your bed.Â
âYeah, but like you pointed out the other day, the only time we ever get to spend together alone is when youâre under me or pushed against a wall.â He chuckles, sitting with you, his back against the headboard. âI donât remember the last time we had a proper conversation.â
âYou warned me about how busy the tour life is, this just proves it, doesn't it?â You smiled, âI still canât believe this past month has been real. Iâll never be able to repay Bryan or you guys for this.âÂ
âI can think of a few ways you can repay me.â Noah smirks, and you shake your head.Â
âI thought you wanted to spend time with me without-â
âYeah, yeah, Iâm sorry.â He held his hands up, thinking of a way to change the topic. âI donât know if I ever asked you how you and Bryan met?â
âThrough the photography club at school,â you explain, âI changed schools when I had just turned 14 and I had no friends, we had just moved to a new town, so at lunch I spent my time in the art classrooms and it just so happened they were starting a photography club in the class Iâd go to. I wasnât even that into photography or anything, but that's where I met Bryan. He was quite new to the school too and only had a handful of friends, so everyone who already had their friendship groups would sit together and because we didnât have anyone we were just put together on a separate table. So over the weeks we finally started talking to each other, and realised we had a lot in common, then we just became best friends from there.â You smiled at the memory, wondering if Bryan still remembered it as clearly as you.Â
âItâs weird to think if that never happened you wouldnât be here right now.â He said, âSo you didnât even want to get into photography?â
âNo,â you laughed, âI guess it just sort of happened.âÂ
âIâm glad it happened,â he smiled, âAnd Iâm glad youâre here.â
As you looked into his eyes, you felt nothing but pure guilt. How could you not tell him about you and Vinny? You were sure he was feeling more for you than heâd let on, and you were about to go to a party with Vinny and pretend to be his girlfriend.Â
âNoah, look... Thereâs something I need to tell you.â
*Buzz buzz*
âShit sorry I really need to take this-â Noah reached for his phone, answering it and rushing to leave your room.Â
You couldnât say you didnât try.Â
You groaned as he left, reaching for your phone to see if Angelaâs replied to your texts yet.
âOoh what kind of party are you going to ;)â
âIâm not doing anything this afternoon, I could come and pick you up if you want xâ
You thought for a moment before you replied to her. You knew whatever Noahâs call was about was probably important, but thereâs been countless times where heâs prioritised other things over you.Â
âIâm ready when you are xâ You replied, leaving your phone on the bed as you went to find a hoodie and a pair of shoes, and then your door knocked again.Â
âIâm so sorry that was one of the guys from our record label asking about-â
âAngelaâs coming to pick me up in a minute so Iâve gotta go, sorry Noah.â You snapped, not even bothering to look at him as you walk out of your room, shutting the door behind you and beginning to walk away.
âY/n? Have I done something?â Noah asked, shaking his head in confusion. You stop in your tracks, thinking before you open your mouth.
âEvery time I get a chance to spend time with you, or try to talk to you about something serious, something always comes up. I know things like this are out of your control but it happens too often and it pisses me off.â
âLike when?â
âLike when weâre occupied in bed and you suddenly get a call and you leave me laying there to answer it, like when we make plans and youâve just so happened to forget you had an interview to do, or when weâre out and you see someone you know and you forget Iâm even there. I donât feel seen with you, Noah.âÂ
âIâm not being funny, y/n, but we arenât even together. To put it harshly, you always knew the band comes first, and if I remember right you just wanted casual sex, no actual relationship. So why does it bother you so much?â
Your jaw drops in disbelief at his words, he really went there.
âSo I donât mean anything to you?â Your heart was racing in your chest, you felt sick, angry and upset.
âI never fucking said that, did I?â
âYou donât need to say it, I know where I stand with you, Noah.â You argue, and other hotel guests slow down as they walk past, clearly trying to listen in on whatâs happening.Â
âCan we not do this here?â Noah hisses.Â
âGood idea. Iâll see you later, Noah. Iâm going out with Angela, because she cares about me, to buy a dress to wear to Vinâs family party because guess what, I bet on anything that he cares about me a whole lot more than you do.â
âYou donât know how I feel about you, y/n.â Noah says, the sound of defeat in his voice.Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âIâll see you later, y/n!â He mocks, walking in the opposite direction to you.Â
âNoah? What the fuck!âÂ
He didnât answer, he didnât even bother to look at you.Â
You groaned, trying not to cry from the frustration, and made your way through the hotel to wait for Angela to pick you up.Â
âââââ ââ
ââ
â âââââ
âSo⌠Whatâs the occasion? You never told me when I asked.â Angela asked as you both searched through racks of clothes.Â
âVinny invited me to his parentâs anniversary party.â
âOh⌠So not anything slutty, okayâŚâ She giggled.Â
âBut get this, he told me that his parents think he has a girlfriend, heâs never told him that does or doesnât, so he wants me to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night.â
âWell thatâs a Vinny lie if Iâve ever heard one.â
âWhat?â
âHe totally just said that to get you to go with him so he can show you off. Heâs really close with his family, thereâs no way they would think heâs dating someone if he hasnât said he is.â
âWell weâll see about that then,â you smirk, âBut what if I do want to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night, that would definitely piss Noah off.â
âOh... Whatâs he done now?â Angela stops looking and turns to you, her hand on her hip.Â
âNothing, yet everything, heâs just really annoyed me." You sigh, "He turns up to my room to spend time with me but then he gets a call and he runs out, itâs not like I donât know his business, surely he should be able to take work calls around me.â
âIt sounds like he doesnât trust youâŚâ She frowned.
âExactly!âÂ
âOh my god y/n look!â She pulls out a gorgeous red dress, making you gasp, âTry it on! Try it on!â You claps, handing it over to you.
âI donât know if redâs my colourâŚâÂ
âThat's even more of a reason for you to try it on and see if it is!â She smirks, â...But I do know itâs Vinâs favourite colour.â
You give her a look, before taking it and heading to the changing rooms to try it on.Â
âI think itâs a little tightâŚâ You say as you walk out, and Angelaâs jaw drops as you do a little twirl, âWhat do you think?âÂ
âI think you're the most gorgeous girl ever!" She grins, "And I think Vinny's going to ask you to be his girlfriend for real when he sees this.â She suddenly gasps, giving you a serious look as she hands you your phone back. âSend a picture to Noah.âÂ
âWhy? He thinks Iâm only going as a photographer.â
âWhat?â
âVin came up with the plan to tell the guys I was only invited because his parents wanted a photographer, I thought it was a pretty good lie.â
âVinny came up with that one didnât he,â she laughed, âI guess theyâll believe it though.â
âNoah did.â You check yourself out in the mirror, and eventually pull your phone out from your bag and take a couple pictures in the mirror. Youâd think about whether it was a good idea to send them or not as you shopped for a new pair of shoes.Â
âââââ ââ
ââ
â âââââ
âItâs actually pretty fortunate for you that there arenât any shows this week,â you say as Vinny drives, âDid you plan the tour around this?â
âKinda,â he says, looking over his shoulder as he turns onto his road, you wish you knew how he even made driving look so hot, âIt's the longest tour we've done and knew we needed a break each month so we donât all completely burn out, and it just so happened this weekend was during that break.âÂ
Vinny thought it would be a good idea to hire a car from the city the guys were staying in for their break from tour to drive back to his house so the two of you could stay there for the night before taking his car and driving down to his parents town tomorrow.
âI donât think my roommateâs here at the moment.â He says as he pulls up, parking the car in his driveway.Â
âNot that it matters,â you chuckle, checking your phone. You had sent the pictures to Noah yesterday, but you hadnât heard from him since, he hadnât even seen the messages. âWhat time have we got to leave tomorrow?â
âProbably around 12.â He says, getting out of the car and unlocking the door.Â
You smiled as you walked into his house, it was just how youâd pictured it. Framed awards on the walls and tour posters, a massive tv on the wall and a bong that he made sure to clarify was his roomate's. You turn around to see him bringing both yours and his suitcase in from the car, rather surprised by his strength as you see him carry them both up the steps to his porch with ease.Â
âYour house is so cute.â You smile, and by his reaction, he seemed rather offended.Â
âCute?â He raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'seriously?' âY/n Iâm a guyâŚI live here with a guy⌠Our house is not cute!âÂ
âThen how would you describe it?â You chuckle as he shuts the door behind him.Â
âI donât know⌠Manly? Homely?"
You rolled your eyes, watching Vin put the keys away before he insisted on giving you a house tour, showing you around room by room.
âAnd this is where the magic happens!â He opens the door to the basement, putting his arm out as if to say âladies first!â
âDo you know how creepy that sounds?â You laugh, slowly descending the staircase to his basement.Â
âThis is where my drums are, I do my drum streams down here-â
âCan you give me a private show?â You gasped, but to your disappointment Vinny laughed and shook his head.Â
âIâve been playing basically every other night for the last month! Surely youâve heard enough.â
âPlease?â You plead, watching as he tries to hide the smile on his face.
âMaybe later.â He gives in, walking you back up the stairs to his kitchen after showing you around the room.Â
âCan I request a song?â
âDepends,â he says, shutting the basement door, âDo I know it?â
âHow am I supposed to know what you know, or donât?âÂ
âWhat is it?â He asked, reaching into his fridge, pulling out a sprite. âWant a drink?â
âYes please,â you smiled, âI heard you played âsomebody told meâ the night I wasnât feeling well and stayed on the bus and you haven't played it again afterâŚâ
âSo you want me to play it for you?â He asked, handing you a drink.Â
âPlease? Iâm coming to your parentsâ anniversary party as your fake girlfriend, donât you think you owe me something?â
âYouâve got a point there,â he acknowledges, âI need to shower first and pack for the weekend, but then Iâll do it.â
âYay!â You grinned, âCan I take a shower after you?â
âOf course.â He smiled softly, âAlso if you want my bed tonight Iâll sleep on the couch. I changed the sheets before I left for tour so theyâre fresh-â
âI canât kick you out of your own bedroomâŚâ You frowned, âIâll have the couch. I donât care!â
âI will not let you sleep on my couch.â He chuckled, and a thought crossed your mind.Â
âIf we were okay to share a bed the first night we met then Iâm sure weâll be okay again tonight, right?â
âIf you're comfortable with that then we can.â He smiled, âIâm gonna go get in the shower, then itâll be all yours. But in the meantime make yourself at home.â
âThank you.â You said, watching as he left, walking up the stairs.Â
You made your way to his living room, getting comfy on the couch and scrolling through your phone. You tried not to think about Noah, but you couldn't help but wish he'd text you back. Whilst Vin was in the shower you considered calling him, but you didn't want to come across clingy. Maybe he just needed to calm down.
"I left my fucking shampoo in my bag." You heard Vinny laugh as he ran down the stairs, a white towel wrapped around his hips as he threw his suitcase onto the sofa beside you and searched through it.
You took a deep breath to calm your mind as you tried to be respectful, but you couldn't help but look at him. His wet curls, his bare chest, the bracelet on his wrist, the veins on his arms... You blinked, trying to concentrate on your phone but he definitely seemed to notice you staring, smirking before he walked back up the stairs.
You already knew it was going to be a long weekend.
-----------------------------
@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah
#noah sebastian x reader#nothing ever after <3#vinny mauro x reader#noah sebastian fanfic#vinny mauro fanfic#motionless in white fanfic#bad omens fanfic
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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"Rick is the better scientist!" "actually, Reagan is the better scientist because-!!" shut up shut up shut up we all know the best fictional scientist is ALPHYS from UNDERTALE
#jeremy hater moment#hate hate HATE looking up reagan on anything and seeing her compared to rick like leave my girl alone !!!#STOP BASHING HER!!!#istg anytime i see rick and reagan in the same post i'll think ''god help me''. this is making me hate r&m fans so bad#where was i. oh yeah#in comparison to both of these characters i personally think alphys comes out on top both in a better written and better story arc stance#like don't get me wrong!! i love reagan!! but alphys will always be first in my heart#alphys is an amazing example of the ''good person who's done bad things and has to live with themselves'' character archetype-#what with the amalgamates and locking them away and hiring mettaton to stage stuff for the human just so alphys could be apart of it all-#and her arc about forgiving herself and finally giving the families closure and bringing their relatives back home and confessing-#what she had done and just. overall- everything about her story and her time interacting with frisk and undyne and everyone-#it's amazing how toby fox created this- this AMAZING little dino gal and wrote her with so much love and. just. AH!!!#alphys is. an amazing character. and i wouldn't have had her story go any other way.#(also if any of the details here are inaccurate please be nice đ i haven't replayed undertale in fuck knows how long)#like i said i think she comes out on top for any fictional (mad?) scientist in any media tbh. she's so sillay âĄ#(sorry to reagan. even if i love her character and overall just. her in general i'm giving alphys this one. she's the og đĽâź)#one last thing: outside of everything i've mentioned alphys is just SUCH a charming character overall !#alphys appreciation club 4eva *peace sign*#(also i think reagan and alphys should meet and become friends right... neow!!)#(should i tag rick and reagan??? i'll tag em for organizational purposes)#reagan ridley#rick sanchez#tw rick and morty#<- for blacklist#inside job netflix#im not tagging r&m LOL#alphys undertale#undertale#dr alphys#this is ok to reblog by the way
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Huwah...
I wanna draw something else...
#i've basically been drawing kun3h0 for a week straight#i love her she's my child but I NEED to draw something else#but whenever i try it's been coming out wonky...#i'm even having a hard time drawing 1010s#that's what hyperfocusing does to me i guess#i just lose the ability to do anything else#maybe i'll take a break by doing some writing#my account for ao3 finally got approved#but i want to make a lot more changes to heart and soul#1) fix the timeline issues#2) make it more clear why the floor tenten is on was abandoned#3) take out the song#yeah the whole fic was written just to get to that song#but even as i was writing it i thought:#'ya know putting all of the song lyrics in here is really making this drag'#i tried to fix it by updating what was happening around them in between sections#but it still drags so much#the song itself isn't that relevant anyway#they could be playing chopsticks and it'd have the same amount of relevance
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THE BOOTH - LN4
summary : The booth. A notorious club in the heart of london, where y/n and lando met again after two years of silence.
listen up : fewtrell!reader. She sits in his lap. no smut, just hot and suggestive. creepy guy in the beginning! Prob my fav short iâve written omg
word count : 1732
â・â§Ëâ
âNo.â I giggle out of uncomfortableness at the man getting closer to me.
âCâmon, let me buy you a drink.â the man reeks of alcohol and has fucked up teeth. Iâve seen enough. I pull down the bottom of my mini dress as I stand.
âNo.â I repeat, pushing past him. The club is crowded and sticky, I see my friends but a hand around my wrist pulls me back.
âReally? Too good for me?â He scoffs in my face but the next thing I know heâs being pushed away from me.
âShe is.â The voice comes from the man in front of me, the guy who pushed this dickhead away. âPiss off. Sheâs with me.â
The guy seems intimidated enough because he gives me a dirty look and leaves. âThank y-â I pause when the man turns around.
I pause because the man is my childhood crush, brothers best friend, and fucking formula one driver.
âLando?â Iâm genuinely shocked that the britt I havenât seen in two years is standing in front of me.
âY/n!?â He looks me up and down, his mouth open, âFuck⌠You look good.â I could say the same for him, in a navy button down, jeans, and his jewelry adorning his hands. Heâs ridiculously hot.
I laugh, âCareful Lan, my brother could be lurking.â I switch my weight onto one leg as he smirks.
Max loves Lando. Max loves me.
Therefore, Max HATED the thought of us even speaking. We were all friends in childhood but our teens hit and suddenly I was completely off limits. Iâm pretty sure he noticed how much I asked about Lando and swore that he would kill both of us if anything happened.
Someone walks behind him, causing him to get closer, his hand brushing against my hip, âDonât scare me, yeah?â
I bite my lip at the thought, we start walking across the room, Landoâs hand firmly on me now as he âguidesâ me. âDonât worry. Idiots in Monaco⌠which means we have free rein.â
I see his jaw clench, his drink slide onto his lips again, âIâd like to keep my friendship.â
âIâd like to lose my panties.â Iâm quick to reply, messing with Lando used to be my favorite thing.
You see, Lando is Maxâs best friend. He feels bad lying and this would definitely be considered a betrayal of trust.
But for me⌠Max is my brother. I can lie and do whatever I want with no remorse. Lando is something I could do easily and as much as it would make me happy to piss off my brother, Norris has always been that one guy in the back of my mind.
âChrist Y/n. Missed your remarks.â We make it to the wall, itâs a bit quieter over here.
âYou mean you missed my flirting?â I look up at him, he just bites his lip, hiding his smile.
âI missed you.â He surprises me with this.
âI missed you too.â I push my hand through my hair, âHowâve you been?â
âGood. Really good.â He smiles big and I know itâs because of his racing.
âWatched your win in Zandvoort.â I sigh, âSimply lovely was brutal.â He rolls his eyes, laughing and leaning his head back on the wall.
âNot you too!â
âIt was hilarious! I liked it!â I hit his arm and the way he looks at me⌠itâs like every emotion that I've tucked away and only opened up in the darkness of my bedroom after midnight, comes out then. âI like this too.â
My hand goes to the back of his neck, playing with his curls that shape his baby mullet.
âDonât do that.â He shakes his head, his eyes cut into me, his voice weak.
âWhat?â I say innocently.
âYou always do this.â
âDo what, Norris?â Lando never was that much taller than me, but something about the two passed years has changed that.
His tongue runs over his teeth, heâs about to say something but two guys appear next to us, âMate! Weâve been looking for you!â Another British man speaks, Alex Albon to be exact.
âFound a friend?â Carlos sainz eyes me, dressed in all black.
I smile at the drivers, Lando eyes Carlos. âMaxâs sister. Y/n.â They both nod and look much too interested in how Lando says it, âY/n⌠this is Alex and Carlos.â
âPleasure.â I smile wide. I am an F1 fan, itâs a bit weird seeing Lando on the grid but Iâll sit and watch with Max almost every weekend that weâre together.
âPleasures all ours! Iâve always wanted to meet Landoâs childhood crush!â Lando hits Carlos, making him grab his stomach, âWorth it!â The Spanish man chokes out.
Lando scratches the back of his neck, not looking at me. âAre you here with anyone?â Alex asks me, I knew he would be nice.
âYeah! Iâm not sure where they are butâŚâ
âThatâs okay. You have us now!â Alex and I end up getting a drink, Lando stays back with Carlos whoâs definitely teasing him.
I get a vodka lemonade and four shots. Alex and I are already best friends and laughing so hard that Carlos and Lando wonât stop asking us whatâs so funny.
They donât know that I showed Alex a photo of Lando and I as smurfs when we were five.
â・â§Ëâ
LANDO NORRIS
Describing Y/n is something iâve done many times. To friends, for context in stories, but if iâd really describe her⌠I donât think I would have an ending point.
Sheâs got long blonde hair. She cut it all off when she was fifteen and I almost fainted when I didnât recognize her. She loved it.
Sheâs confident, you can see it in her walk. Her hips sway and the click of her heels is something I'll never forget.
When she talks to you, all attention is on you, her eyes are hazel, appearing brown in the dark but if you get close enough⌠youâll see the green.
She never quite had an awkward stage, always been beautiful, probably always will be. I havenât seen her in years yet she acts like I talked to her yesterday.
Y/n sucks on a lime after her shot, smiling and clapping her hands together, âGod, I feel like iâm in highschool!â
I obviously didnât go to school with her. Sheâs a year younger and Max would non stop complain about her. She was more popular than him, going out, and was basically friends with everyone.
I remind myself again that Max is the reason why my arm is around the couch and not her waist.
â・â§Ëâ
Y/N
âNorris!â I stand, holding out my hand, âPicture time.â I smile as he stands with me.
âWhat?â Carlos asks.
âCalled the booth for a reason, Sainz!â I grin at the boys, gripping Landoâs hand tight and maneuvering us through the crowd.
Thereâs one photo booth in the back corner of the club. Itâs notorious for famous photos and making everyone look good.
I look back at the boys who all look confused. All except Lando.
We came to the booth when Lando was in town from F2, we were 17 and 18. Max had gone off with some girl and we found ourselves in this exact booth.
We swore never to talk about it.
But Iâm all for repeating history.
âFewtrellâŚâ He warns in my ear as we walk to the starred booth.
I glance back, dragging out his name, âNorris.â
He gets in first, unlike us as teens, only one person can fit. I smile and watch Landoâs face drop, I sit down on his lap, âPlaying with fire here, love.â he says in my ear.
âI donât mind getting burned.â He slips two coins in, his hand moving to my waist and holding me steady.
We smile first.
SNAP
I move a bit and give him bunny ears.
SNAP
Lando clears his throat, gripping my skin tighter as he looks at me. I move again, my skirt riding up a bit. âTrying to kill me?â
I smile and kiss his cheek, feeling something hard against me.
SNAP
âOf course.â I look at him, âThe memories in here⌠You remember?â
âIâd be an idiot to forget.â
His hand moves down my hip, closer to my thigh. I look at him again as the photo booth starts up for the second time, âI shouldnât.â He whispers, my face centimeters from his. I hear the whistles outside.
I shift once more, turning more to him. He groans, his head falling backwards and his eyes closing, âGive me a good reason.â
SNAP
He opens his eyes, meeting mine. I know I've got him. My hand rests on his neck, my rings pressing against his skin. He mumbles something but itâs too loud, âSpeak up, Norris.â
âNever spoken.â His eyes flick to my lips, trying to get me to promise this is a secret.
âNever ever.â He leans in closer.
SNAP
âCome on rule breaker⌠I believe in you.â I whisper in his ear and it breaks him. Iâm pulling his head closer to me, his lips on mine, a relief like no other.
He grabs ass, pulling me closer in the tiny space. I slip my tongue in his mouth, whimpering a bit. He bites my lip. Iâm melting into him. Itâs hot and needy but so much more than I could have ever wanted.
SNAP
Kissing Lando at Seventeen was scandalous and drunken. Kissing Lando at Twenty Three flat out sexy.
âNeed youâŚâ He whispers into the kiss which makes me almost come undone right then and there.
Someone bangs on the booth, âAlright Lovebirds!â Lando laughs but I'm the one to pull away.
âI canât leave this booth.â He says quickly, his face red and sweaty.
âYouâll be fine-â I understand what heâs talking about when I go to leave and something brushes against my leg, âOh.â
He looks away from me, blushing.
I smile, proud of myself for the boner and his pink cheeks, âAw come on! Iâll cover you.â I wink and he rolls his eyes, He walks out behind me, his arms firmly on my waist again.
The two drivers grin at us, âYou covering a boner?â Carlos starts but gets punched for the second time tonight by Lando. He holds his stomach again, âStill worth it!â
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#lando norris fanfic#f1 imagine#lando norris#lando x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#lando imagine#lando norris smut
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Pierced-Ellie Williams x AFAB!Reader
âĽPairing: loser!Ellie Williams x AFAB!Reader
âĽSummary: After playing two truths and a lie with your best friend ellie, you reveal you have secret piercings. things ensue...
âĽCW: smut, nipple play, reader has nipple piercings, fingering, oral sex (reader receiving), tribbing, ellie is a bit of a nervous loser in the beginning, top ellie, reader is sorta a power bottom, 4.2k words
âĽa/n: This was supposed to be a really short fic but i went crazy (horny) and wrote all of this lmfao. hope u enjoy! <3
The basement was dimly lit, the only source of light coming from a flickering lamp in the corner and the soft glow of the streetlights seeping through a small, grime-covered window. You could hear the muffled hum of the world outside, distant enough to feel like you were the only two people left in the world. The scent of old wood and dust filled the air, mixing with the sharp tang of alcohol from the half-empty bottle of whiskey resting between you and Ellie.
Ellie was leaning back against the basement couch, cheeks flushed and eyes hazy from the booze. You both were sprawled out on the floor, legs tangled as you reached for the bottle once again. Laughter bounced off the walls as Ellie threw her hands up in defeat.
âYou're really bad at this game,â you teased, shifting a little closer to her. âBut hey, maybe you'll catch me in a lie this time.â
Ellie cleared her throat, her nervous energy spilling over as she sat up straighter. âOh, yeah, for sure. I got you this time,â she mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck like she always did when she was flustered.
You smirked, knowing exactly how to make her squirm. âAlright, here goes. I've broken my arm twice, I can speak a bit of French, and⌠two years ago, I got nipple piercings that no one knows about.â
Ellie's face went bright red, her hand freezing halfway to the bottle. She blinked at you, then laughed nervously. âWait, what?â
You leaned in slightly, watching her face closely as you spoke. âYou heard me. Nipple piercings. Two years ago.â You let the words hang there, watching as Ellie shifted awkwardly, her gaze quickly darting to your chest before settling on your eyes.
âTh-that's gotta be the lie,â Ellie stammered, clearly flustered as she fidgeted with the label on the whiskey bottle. âRight? I mean, IâŚyou wouldn'tâŚwould you?â
You gave her a sly smile, brushing your leg against hers just enough to get her attention. "Guess you'll have to figure that out, huh?"
Ellie swallowed hard, her cheeks burning as she tried to come up with something witty in response, but all she managed was an awkward laugh. "I mean... y-you're messing with me, right?"
You leaned back, letting your gaze linger on her for a moment longer than necessary. "Maybe I am," you said with a shrug. "Or maybe you just don't know me as well as you think you do."
Ellie looked like she was about to implode, her mind racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out if you were hitting on her or just playing the game. You could see it written all over her faceâthe nervousness, the uncertaintyâand it only made you grin wider. She had no idea how into her you really were, and it was almost too fun watching her try to piece it together.
Ellie shifted nervously, clearly out of her element as her eyes flicked between you and the bottle, as if it might give her some kind of answer.
âIs that your final guess?â you asked, leaning in, your voice teasing as you watched her squirm.
Ellie swallowed hard, her mouth dry. âYeah⌠yeah, thatâs my final guess. The piercings, theyâve got to be the lie,â she said, but there was hesitation in her voice, like she wasnât quite convinced.
You smirked, biting back a laugh. âWrong.â
Ellieâs eyes went wide, her face an even deeper shade of red. âWhat? No way. Youâre messing with me.â
âNope.â You shrugged, acting casual as you leaned back. âThat was a truth.â
Ellie blinked, shaking her head like she couldnât believe what she was hearing. âThereâs no way. Youâre just messing with me to screw me up. I donât believe you.â
You leaned in, your voice dropping to a seductive whisper. âYou wanna check for yourself?â
Ellieâs eyes went impossibly wider, her throat bobbing as she swallowed nervously. âIâI⌠uh, what?â Her voice cracked, and she quickly looked away, fidgeting with the bottle in her lap like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.
You couldnât help but laugh, watching her completely unravel. âRelax, Iâm kidding,â you teased, though the glint in your eye said otherwise. âUnless⌠you really want to know.â
Ellieâs whole face burned, and you could practically hear her heartbeat from where you sat. She stammered, her words falling over themselves. âIâno, I meanâwait, are you actuallyâŚâ
You bit your lip, amused by how lost she was. âNah, Iâll just show you. Wouldnât want you losing sleep over it.â
Before Ellie could stammer out another response, your shirt was over your head and thrown across the room. Her eyes were glued to your chest as you reached back to unclasp your lacy red bra.
Ellie's breath hitched as your bra fell to the floor, revealing the small silver barbells glinting under the flickering light. For a second, she just stared, her mouth slightly open, completely frozen in place. You could see her trying to form words, but nothing came out.
"Believe me now?" you asked, voice teasing as you leaned in, your chest close enough to brush against her arm.
Ellie blinked rapidly, her face bright red, looking like she might pass out from sheer embarrassment. "Holy shit," she muttered under her breath, finally managing to say something, though it sounded more like a dazed confession than an actual response.
You chuckled softly, leaning back just enough to give her some space but still close enough to keep her flustered. "Told you it was the truth."
Ellie's gaze flickered up to meet yours, her expression somewhere between awe and disbelief. "IâI mean... yeah, l believe you now." She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, her usual nervous tic in full force as she fumbled to find the right words. "I just didn't expect you to actually... show me."
You grinned, clearly enjoying the effect you had on her. "Well, I'm not one to back down from a challenge," you said lightly, your voice still laced with that teasing edge.
Ellie let out a nervous laugh, her eyes darting away from you as she tried to regain some composure. "Yeah, uh... challenge. Right." She was flustered beyond belief, and it was almost too cute how lost she looked.
Ellie's eyes were still glued to your chest, her breath shallow and uneven. You could feel the tension between you both, thick and electric in the dimly lit basement. The way she looked at you, completely entranced, sent a thrill through you.
"You can touch them if you want," you said softly, the invitation hanging in the air between you.
Ellie's head jerked up, her eyes wide and unsure. "I-uh, what?" She stammered, clearly caught off guard by your offer.
You smirked, brushing her knee gently with yours. "You heard me."
Ellie swallowed hard, her face burning even brighter. "Does it... does it hurt?"
You shook your head slightly, your voice dropping lower. "It hurt when I first got them, but now..." You leaned in, letting the words roll off your tongue, "...now it just feels good."
Ellie's eyes flickered back to your chest, her hand twitching like she was debating with herself. She hesitated, nervous, her fingers hovering near her lap as if she wasn't sure what to do. You could see the uncertainty in her, but also the undeniable pull.
Sensing her apprehension, you crawled closer to her, swinging your leg over one of her thighs so you could straddle it. "It's okay," you whispered, reassuring her. "I don't bite... unless you want me to."
That seemed to snap something in Ellie. She gave a shaky laugh, her hand finally reaching out, her fingers brushing tentatively over your skin. Her touch was featherlight at first, careful, like she wasn't sure if this was real or not.
"See? Doesn't hurt," you murmured, your voice soothing, though your heart was racing with excitement.
Ellie's fingers, still a little shaky, began to trace the outline of your piercings, her touch growing bolder as she got used to the sensation. You watched her face, the mixture of fascination and nervousness playing across her features. Her thumb brushed against one of the barbells, and you couldn't help the soft gasp that escaped your lips.
Ellie's eyes flickered up to meet yours, her breath catching at the sound. "Did Iâwas that okay?" she asked, her voice low and breathless, like she couldn't believe what was happening.
You smiled, biting your lip as you nodded. "Yeah, Ellie. That feels good."
Hearing that seemed to give her a little more confidence. She exhaled slowly, her fingers moving with more purpose now, gently rolling one of the piercings between her thumb and forefinger. The sensation sent a spark of pleasure through you, your body reacting to her touch in ways you knew she couldn't miss.
Her other hand hesitantly joined in, tracing the other barbell, her eyes locked on yours as if she was watching your every reaction, unsure but so eager to please. You could feel your heartbeat quicken, the warmth of her hands sending waves of heat through your body.
"Does this...feel good?" Ellie's voice was a low rasp, her own face flushed, eyes wide with anticipation.
"It feels really good," you whispered, your voice heavy with the tension between you. You arched your back slightly, pressing into her touch as her hands grew more confident, playing with your piercings in a way that had your breath hitching.
Ellie swallowed hard, her gaze dipping to your chest again as her hands continued to explore, experimenting with different pressures, watching your reactions closely. Her nervous energy was still there, but there was something more-something hungry in the way her touch lingered now, the tension between you thick enough to cut with a knife.
You could feel her pulse racing, her breath hot and shallow as her fingers tugged gently at the piercings, testing the waters. Every touch sent shivers down your spine, your skin alive under her hands. You leaned in, lips brushing her ear as you whispered, "You're doing so good, Ellie."
Her breath hitched at your words, and she stifled a groan as her hands moved more boldly now, her fingers teasing and pulling in a way that had your body arching toward her, craving more of her touch.
The air between you was electric, the playful teasing long forgotten, replaced by something far more intense. Ellie's lips parted, her breath coming in ragged bursts as she leaned in closer, her body pressed against yours, her hands still playing with your piercings like she couldn't get enough.
Ellie's hands were still moving over your chest, her touch growing more assured with each passing second, but there was still a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. She swallowed, clearly trying to steady herself before she spoke again. Her voice was barely a whisper, thick with uncertainty and need. "Can I... can I try with... my mouth?"
You felt a surge of heat wash over you at her request, her shy stammer only adding to the electric charge between you. "Yeah," you breathed, your voice soft but encouraging as you straddled her thigh, the fabric of her jeans pressing between your legs as you ground down slightly. "Go ahead, Ellie."
Her gaze flickered up to yours, a mixture of nerves and excitement, before she leaned in. Her lips hovered just above your skin for a moment, as if she was gathering the courage, and then you felt the soft brush of her mouth against your nipple. Her tongue flicked out, gently grazing the piercing, and the sensation made your breath hitch.
Ellie's hands settled on your hips, steadying herselfâand youâas she grew more confident. Her mouth closed over the sensitive skin, her lips soft but eager as she took one of the piercings into her mouth, tugging gently with her teeth. You couldn't stop the moan that slipped out, your hands instinctively burying themselves in her hair, holding her closer as the pleasure intensified.
At the same time, your hips moved against her thigh, the friction of her jeans sending jolts of pleasure through you with every slow grind. Ellie groaned against your chest, clearly feeling the pressure of your body against her leg, her mouth working more fervently now, her tongue swirling around the piercing before she tugged again, harder this time.
You gasped, your fingers tightening in her hair, your hips pressing down harder on her thigh. "Ellie.." you whispered, your breath coming in shallow pants as the sensations built inside you, a delicious mix of her mouth on your chest and the steady pressure between your legs.
Ellie pulled back for just a second, her lips slick and flushed as she looked up at you. Her eyes were dark with lust, her breath ragged. "Is this... is this good?" she asked, her voice low and strained, like she was trying to hold herself together.
You bit your lip, your head tilting back as another wave of pleasure washed over you. "So good," you murmured, grinding down on her harder, urging her to keep going. "Don't stop."
With a renewed sense of determination, Ellie dove back in, her mouth working over your chest with more confidence, her hands gripping your hips tighter as you rocked against her. Each pull of her lips sent a jolt of pleasure straight through you, mixing with the rhythmic grind of your hips on her thigh. The heat between you was overwhelming, every touch and movement amplifying the tension until it felt like you might explode.
With a sudden surge of confidence, Ellie gripped your hips and gently pushed you back, guiding you to the floor beneath her. You gasped in surprise but quickly surrendered to her touch, your heart racing as you felt the cool floor against your skin.
Her hands moved with purpose, brushing up your thighs as she shifted to hover over you. The flickering lamp cast shadows over her flushed face, illuminating the desire in her eyes. "You okay?" she asked, a hint of uncertainty creeping back into her voice, but it was mixed with a hunger that made your stomach flutter.
"Yeah, Ellie. Just... keep going," you encouraged, feeling a thrill rush through you as her fingers slipped beneath the hem of your skirt, inching higher.
She hesitated for just a moment, her fingers brushing against your skin, and then she boldly lifted your skirt, exposing your thighs. The rush of cool air made you shiver as her fingertips danced closer to where you needed her most.
Ellie hesitated for just a moment before her determination surged back. With a swift motion, she shifted to kneel between your legs, a glint of mischief in her eyes. She leaned in closer, her breath warm against your skin, as she pushed your panties to the side and used her fingers to part you slightly, allowing her to find that sweet spot.
"Can I... try something?" she asked, looking up at you with a mix of eagerness and uncertainty.
"Yeah, please," you urged, your voice barely above a whisper, the heat pooling in your core.
With a teasing smile, Ellie brought her mouth back to your piercing, her tongue swirling around the metal as she simultaneously slid two fingers into you, pushing deeper as she began to stroke your sensitive spot. A gasp escaped your lips, the combination of sensations causing your body to arch instinctively toward her.
"Ellie!" you cried out, the heat of her mouth and the skillful movements of her fingers driving you wild. She watched you closely, her own excitement evident as she felt you tighten around her.
"Just relax," she murmured, her voice vibrating against you as she continued her exploration, her fingers working in and out while her mouth kept teasing your piercings. You could hardly keep still, your hips moving in rhythm with her fingers as waves of pleasure washed over you.
As Ellie continued to work her magic, she shifted her focus, her fingers moving more deliberately to target your clit while her mouth lavished attention on your piercings. The combination of sensations sent shockwaves through your body, making you writhe beneath her.
"Ellie, that feels so good," you gasped, lost in the bliss of her touch.
With every flick of her tongue and stroke of her fingers, the tension inside you built higher, the sweet pressure almost unbearable. "Just let go," Ellie encouraged, her voice low and sultry, her determination evident as she worked tirelessly to bring you to the edge.
And then, with a final flick of her fingers, you shattered, your body arching off the ground as pleasure washed over you in waves. "Ellie!" you cried out, your voice a mixture of ecstasy and disbelief at how incredible it felt.
Ellie didn't waste a second; she licked her fingers clean, a devilish grin spreading across her face. "Fuck, you taste so good baby," she said, her eyes dark with hunger. "I need more."
Before you could respond, she began kissing her way down your body, trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin until she reached your thighs. She quickly removed your skirt and panties, leaving your slick cunt bare before her. Her fingers gripped your hips as she pulled you closer, her breath warm against you as she settled between your legs.
With expert precision, Ellie took her time, her tongue swirling around your clit, teasing and sucking in just the right way. Each movement sent shivers down your spine, your body instinctively responding to her every touch. "Ellie, yes!" you gasped, the sensations quickly building again.
She worked you closer to another peak, her eyes locked on yours, filled with both mischief and desire. You could feel the pressure mounting, a familiar tightening in your core as she expertly brought you to the edge once more.
With one final flick of her tongue, you let go again, your body trembling and shuddering beneath her as another orgasm washed over you. "God, Ellie!" you cried, the intensity leaving you breathless.
Ellie pulled back, wiping her mouth and grinning widely. "You really know how to make a girl happy," she teased, but you could see the need in her eyes, an unspoken desire lingering between you.
"Please," you breathed, your voice a husky whisper, "let me get you off." You could feel the heat pooling in your core again as the idea electrified you.
She looked at you, surprise flickering across her face before it shifted to a playful smirk. "You sure?" she asked, her voice low, excitement dancing in her eyes.
"Absolutely," you replied, determination flooding your veins.
With a swift motion, you shifted positions, settling yourself beside her.
You locked eyes, a silent agreement passing between you as you straddled her thigh, your fingers dancing down her body.
You guided her to open her legs wider, your body buzzing with anticipation. As you began to grind against her, the friction of your bodies sent waves of pleasure radiating between you. "Just like that," Ellie encouraged, her breath hitching as you pressed down against her.
Your movements grew bolder, your hands exploring the curves of her body as you brought your lips to hers, kissing her hungrily. You could feel the heat rising between you, the thrill of the moment igniting every nerve.
"Fuck, you're riding me so good, baby," Ellie rasped, her voice raw with need as her hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements. You ground down against her, the heat between your bodies almost unbearable as your slickness coated her, making each slide of your hips easier, smoother, and more desperate.
The wetness between your thighs mixed with hers, the sensation of your clits brushing together sending shivers through your entire body. Each movement was electric, your hips finding a perfect rhythm as you ground down harder, the friction driving you both wild.
Ellie's hands slid up your sides, rough fingertips grazing your skin before she cupped your breasts. Her thumbs brushed over your nipple piercings again, flicking them just right, making you gasp. "You like that?" she murmured, her voice thick with desire as she tugged gently on the metal, your nipples hardening under her touch.
Your body trembled as you pressed your chest further into her hands, the pleasure shooting through you with every little tug and pinch. Meanwhile, your hips rocked faster, sliding your wetness against hers in perfect rhythm.
The slick sounds of your bodies moving together filled the air, each grind pushing you closer to the edge.
Ellie's hips began bucking up to meet yours, desperate and needy as your clits rubbed together again, sending sparks of pleasure racing through you.
"Fuck, Ellie," you moaned, grinding harder as the pressure between your legs built to an overwhelming peak. You could feel her trembling beneath you, her breath coming in ragged gasps, matching your own.
Your wetness coated her thigh, smearing across both of your bodies as you moved together, the friction just right. Every grind of your hips made your clits brush against each other, the pleasure intensifying with each slick, desperate slide. Ellie groaned beneath you, her hands moving back down to grip your waist, pulling you harder against her.
You could feel her arousal mixing with yours, the heat between you almost unbearable. "God, you feel so fucking good," Ellie groaned, her voice thick with lust as she bucked her hips up to meet yours, the slickness between you making each grind smoother, more desperate.
The tension in your core was building quickly, winding tighter and tighter with every movement. Ellie's fingers dug into your hips, guiding you as you rocked against her, the pressure of your clits rubbing together sending you hurtling toward the edge.
Your body trembled as you leaned forward, bracing yourself on her chest.
Ellie took the opportunity to reach up, tugging at your nipple piercings again, sending sharp pleasure shooting through your body. "I love watching you ride me," she rasped, her voice breathless as she pinched your nipples harder, making you gasp.
The combined sensation of her rough hands on your chest and the relentless friction between your legs was too much. Your hips bucked wildly, grinding down against her as your orgasm slammed into you. "Fuck, Ellie," you cried out, your body shuddering as waves of pleasure crashed through you, your slickness dripping down her thigh as you came.
Ellie groaned, her own body trembling as she watched you fall apart above her, your hips still moving, slower now, but still grinding against her, drawing out every last bit of your release.
As you came down from your high, Ellie's hands moved to your waist again, guiding your hips back into a steady rhythm. You could feel her need, the way her body trembled beneath yours, the slickness between you making it impossible to stop.
You leaned forward, capturing her lips in a heated kiss as your hips started moving again, faster this time, the friction of your clits rubbing together driving both of you wild. "You're so wet," you whispered against her mouth, your breath ragged as you rocked your hips down harder, desperate to feel her come undone beneath you.
Ellie groaned into your mouth, her hands gripping your waist even tighter as she bucked her hips up to meet yours. "Fuck, you feel so good," she gasped, her voice breaking as the pleasure became too much to bear. "Keep going, baby, don't stop."
Your bodies moved together, faster and faster, the slick sound of your wetness mixing with hers filling the room. Every grind of your hips made your clits brush against each other, sending sparks of pleasure through you both. The heat between your thighs was almost unbearable, the need to push her over the edge driving you harder, faster.
Ellie's breath hitched, her body tensing beneath yours as her orgasm built. "I'm so close," she groaned, her voice shaky as her hips bucked up wildly. You could feel her trembling, her body on the verge of release, and you ground down harder, determined to push her over the edge.
With one final grind, Ellie's body tensed, her back arching as she came with a shuddering moan. Her hands gripped your hips so hard it almost hurt, pulling you down against her as her orgasm washed over her, her body trembling beneath yours.
You slowed your movements, rocking gently against her as she came down from her high, her breath ragged and uneven. You pressed your forehead against hers, both of you panting, your bodies slick with sweat and arousal as the last waves of pleasure faded away.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the only sound in the room your heavy breathing. Then Ellie let out a breathless laugh, pulling you down into a soft, lazy kiss. "Fuck," she whispered, her voice still thick with pleasure. "That was incredible." You smiled against her lips, your body still trembling from the intensity of it all.
"You're pretty incredible yourself," you teased, pressing one last kiss to her lips before collapsing onto the floor beside her, completely spent.
#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#tlou smut#the last of us x reader#the last of us smut#the last of us fanfiction#ellie williams fanfiction
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Arranged Marriage â Hoshi x Reader
â Synopsis: In contrast to the tired old plots of arranged marriages where the couple can't stand each other, you and Soonyoung are childhood friends. It's not just like marrying a friendâno, no, actually, it is marrying a friend, no-frills and simple. â WC: 10k â WARNINGS: smut, fluff, fingering, oral (m. receiving), penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, choking, one single slap on the ass, hair pulling, aftercare, whipped!hoshi, hoshi teases reader until she almost cries for dick, mentions of alcohol, mentions of body fluids (cum, sweat), DIRTY TALKâprob the nastiest dirty talk i've written.
You knew this day would come.Â
Growing up in a world where luxury, money, stock exchange, and business were the pillars of existence, arranged marriages were just another part of the cycle. Two patrimonies merging into one for the benefit of both familiesâit was a tradition as old as time.Â
Some couples embraced the spotlight, showcasing their unity to the world. Others barely tolerated each other, living in separate homes to maintain a fake image. There were also those whose mutual disdain led to chaos both in their personal lives and in the family businesses.
When you saw Soonyoung in your home, dressed in a suit that clearly wasnât his style, you felt a hurricane of emotions. His usual vibrant, carefree energy seemed stifled under the weight of the tailored fabric. You greeted him and his family alongside your parents, both of you a shy mess, but something in his eyes told you things might not be as bad as you feared.
âHey,â Soonyoung murmured as you both found a moment away from the adultsâ formal discussions. âThis suit is killing me.â
You laughed softly, feeling a sense of relief. âYou look... different.â
âYeah, definitely not my usual style, you know meâ he grinned, loosening his tie. âBut I guess weâre both out of our comfort zones today.â
You nodded, memories flooding back of the two of you playing outside when kids, during business congresses, your parents inside discussing mergers and acquisitions while you and Soonyoung chased each other around the gardens. âDo you remember those days?â
âOf course,â he said, eyes lighting up with nostalgia. âWe had our own little world, didnât we?â
âWe did,â you replied. âAnd now, here we are.â
âSo, how do you feel about this?â he asked, shy, looking at your expensive dress, clearly set for tonight. âAbout us... getting married?â
âIâve been preparing for it my whole life, I guess,â you said honestly. âBut with you... it feels different. Less intimidating."
âI feel the same,â Soonyoung admitted. âI mean, if it had to be anyone, Iâm glad itâs you.â
You smiled. âMaybe we can make this work. Find a balance between our lifes.â
âYeah,â he agreed. âWe can create something new, something thatâs ours.â
You looked at him, seeing not just the boy you grew up with, but a partner. Someone who understood the complexities of your world and was willing to navigate them with you.
You looked around your house, taking in the scene. Soonyoungâs family mingled with yours, coworkers from your parentsâ firms exchanged polite conversation, and your and Soonyoungâs nephews were playing circles around the couch.Â
The weight of the day pressed on your shoulders, a burden that didnât match the elegance of the dress you were wearing for the marriage proposal.
Soonyoungâs eyes met yours, noticing your tense posture. âYouâre nervous, arenât you?â he asked softly.
You looked at him, sulking, and he recognized the same expression you had when you were eight.Â
He leaned in, whispering, âDonât tell anyone, but I brought a bottle of tequila. Itâs in my trunk. Would you like some to relax?â
You stared at him in silence before nodding with an exasperated look, feeling like it was exactly what you needed.
âDid you bring a shot cup?â you asked, following him outside.
He stopped, bottle in hand, and you both laughed. Taking the bottle from him, you leaned against his car, opened the cap, and poured a generous shotâmaybe a little moreâstraight into your mouth. Soonyoung watched, his mouth wide open in surprise. You handed the bottle back to him.
âWhy are you nervous?â he asked, taking a swig himself, looking comically exaggerated as he did. âIâm the one who has to kneel and propose today. My heart feels like itâs about to explode.â
You both laughed like teenagers getting away with something forbidden, hiding behind his car.
After a moment of comfortable silence, you broke it. âDo you have the ring here?â
He looked at you and nodded.
âCan I see it?â you asked, your curiosity piqued as if he had a rare PokĂŠmon card.
âIs that right?â he teased.
You made doe eyes and asked, âPretty please?â
He smiled, pulling a small black box from his pocket and opening it for you.Â
The diamond ring sparkled in your eyes, its brilliance captivating. âItâs beautiful,â you murmured.
Soonyoung nodded, grinning. âMy sister helped me choose it. I originally wanted a diamond shaped like a cat, but she said that wasnât appropriate.â
You laughed, the image of a cat-shaped diamond making you smile. âItâs beautiful, but a kitten-shaped ring sounds adorable. I wouldâve loved that too.â
His grin widened, a small, proud smile lighting up his face as you both admired the ring.
Your moment was interrupted by Soonyoungâs mom's voice, echoing from the house. âOh my god, are you already proposing?â
Soonyoung choked on his own saliva, his eyes wide with panic. The best thing to do now? Say no and face his motherâs scolding for showing the ring prematurely, or actually propose right then and there?
Before he could think it through, he found himself on one knee on the sidewalk, his heart pounding. You quickly hid the tequila bottle behind your back.
âSoonyoung, what are you doing?â you whispered, eyes wide.
âI... Iâm improvising,â he replied, clearing his throat. âY/N, will you marry me?â
The spontaneity of it all, made you laugh and cry at the same time, you needed to pretend you were actually emotional. âYes, Soonyoung. Yes, I will.â
You barely noticed the sudden crowd that had gathered around you, they'd appeared out of nowhere, all eyes on the two of you. Soonyoungâs hand trembled slightly as he slid the ring onto your finger, the cool metal contrasting with the warmth of his touch.
You smiled nervously at him, teeth gritted. âHug me,â you whispered urgently, your eyes darting to the tequila bottle that was precariously wedged behind your back. âPlease, put the tequila bottle inside your car. It's practically shoved inside my ass.â
Soonyoung blinked, processing your words before a grin spread across his face. He pulled you into a tight hug, the kind that felt both reassuring and grounding. As he embraced you, he expertly reached behind you, his fingers brushing against the bottle.Â
You could feel his body shaking slightly with suppressed laughter.
âHang on,â he whispered back.
He managed to grab the bottle and discreetly slid it out from behind you. Still holding you close, he took a step back towards the car, opening the door with one hand and slipping the bottle inside. The whole maneuver was so smooth that you doubted anyone noticed the clandestine operation.
That moment eased the tension of the night, but the tequila hadnât taken effect yet, and you knew you had to keep an eye on Soonyoung. His alcohol tolerance was notoriously low, and you didnât want him to embarrass himselfâor worse, get into trouble.
As the night wound down and Soonyoungâs dad started to lead him to the car, Soonyoung sulked, trying to resist. âI want to talk a bit more to my bride,â he protested, his voice slightly slurred. His words elicited good-natured laughter from both families, who were enjoying the unexpected turn of events.
You walked over to him, giving him a warm hug and patting his head affectionately. âItâs time to go home, Soonyoung,â you said gently.
He looked at you with wide, earnest eyes, the warmth in his gaze reminding you of why you felt less nervous than you should. Soonyoung had always been warm-hearted, and maybe thatâs why you felt a sense of calm amidst the chaos.
As you pulled back from the hug, Soonyoungâs hand lingered in yours for a moment longer. âPromise youâll call me tomorrow?â he asked, his tone earnest despite his tipsiness.
âPromise,â you replied, smiling as you squeezed his hand.
With one last affectionate look, Soonyoung allowed his dad to guide him into the car. You watched as the vehicle pulled away. Your parents approached, their expressions a blend of amusement and expectation.
âWell, that was quite a night,â your mom said, her eyes twinkling with delight.
âYes, it was,â you agreed, glancing at your dad, who nodded in approval.
âYou two make a good pair,â your dad said, his tone warm. âIâm glad to see you both getting along so well.â
Your parents were now expectant, believing you and Soonyoung were truly becoming a couple. And in a way, you wereâjust not in the conventional sense they imagined.
The next day, even though it was a promise to a drunk boy, you called Soonyoung in the morning. Like any typical business wedding, the preparations started swiftly, aiming to have the wedding happen as soon as possible. Today, you were going to choose the food and drinks for the event.
When Soonyoung arrived, he was all tidied up, but his face was clearly tired. You laughed a bit, âYou lookâŚâ
He completed for you, âFucked?â
You chuckled, âI wasnât going to say that.â
âLong night,â he admitted, rubbing his eyes. âBut Iâm here.â
âGood, because we have a lot to decide,â you replied, glancing at the event agent who was discussing the dessert options.
As you both looked at the event agent, who insisted on adding superfluous things to the sweetsâlike a layer of goldâyou exchanged amused glances. The agent was enthusiastically explaining the virtues of gold-leaf-covered desserts.
âGold? For us to... poop?â Soonyoung murmured incredulously.
You stifled a laugh and leaned closer to him. âCanât it be something more tasty?â
The agent looked slightly taken aback. âGold leaf is quite a statement piece.â
Soonyoung nodded, trying to be polite. âBut we were thinking of something simpler.â
âHow about churros?â you suggest.
The agent blinked, clearly not expecting that. âChurros? For a wedding?â
âWhy not?â you said with a grin. âTheyâre delicious, and everyone loves them.â
âBut they donât exactly scream luxury,â the agent protested.
âThey scream fun,â Soonyoung countered. âAnd isnât that what weddings are supposed to be?â
The agent sighed, making a note. âAlright, churros it is. Anything else?â
âMaybe some street-style tacos?â he added, enjoying the agentâs bewildered expression.
âTacos?â the agent repeated, as if the word was foreign.
âYeah, why not?â Soonyoung agreed. âLetâs keep it simple and tasty.â
The agent finally nodded, albeit reluctantly. âVery well. Iâll make the arrangements.â
Honestly, days flew by with Soonyoung by your side. Planning every little detail of the wedding together brought both fun and challenges, especially when your tastes didnât always align. It was a bit complicated at first, like when you two were choosing the destination for your honeymoon.Â
Soonyoung wanted an adventure-packed trip to the Amazon rainforest, while you preferred a relaxing beach resort in the Maldives. The negotiations were intense, but you eventually settled on a compromise.
Choosing Soonyoungâs suit also proved to be a task. He insisted on wearing a tie with a tiger print, a nod to his childhood love for tigers. You were surprised that his fascination with the big cats had persisted, but you drew the line at a tiger tie. âAbsolutely not,â you told him firmly, trying to imagine the looks youâd get. âA tiger tie is a no from me, and I think a lot of people would agree.â
âFine,â he conceded with a sigh, but you could tell he was already thinking about how to sneak a little tiger motif into his outfit.
When it came to choosing your dress, you were accompanied by your mom, Soonyoungâs mom, and his sister.Â
Soonyoung, the only man in the group, tagged along as well. The other brides at the boutique initially assumed he was either your brother or your stylist.Â
Their jaws nearly dropped when they overheard he was actually the groom.
One of the brides, adjusting her veil in front of a mirror, turned to you, wide-eyed. âWait, heâs your husband-to-be?â
âYes, he is,â you confirmed with a smile, watching Soonyoung fuss over a lace detail on one of the dresses.
Another bride laughed softly. âLucky you! Heâs so involved.â
âHeâs been amazing,â you said. âExcept for his obsession with tiger prints.â
Soonyoung, overhearing, grinned and walked over. âWhat can I say? Tigers are cool.â
âSoonyoung, youâre a unique groom,â his sister teased, shaking her head.
As you tried on dresses, Soonyoung offered his opinions with surprising thoughtfulness, balancing out his more quirky suggestions. He was genuinely invested in making sure you felt beautiful and confident in your choice.
Youâd tried on everything: the biggest gowns, the tightest silhouettes, dresses with endless layers of skirts, and others that hugged your hips so closely it felt like they were molded to your skin.Â
There were corsets that took your breath awayâliterallyâand fabrics that shimmered under the boutique lights.Â
But this time, when you left the dressing room, you were wearing a veil.
Soonyoungâs eyes didnât lie for a second. He liked this one very much. The women around youâyour mom, Soonyoungâs mom, and his sisterâfussed over the dress, adjusting it here and there, offering compliments. But Soonyoung was speechless.
If Soonyoung were to be completely honest, up until this moment, he had always seen you as his friend, the girl he was going to marry because of an arrangement. You were the same girl who used to run around the events, eluding the security guards with your mischievous giggles.Â
But now, you were different. You were a woman. His woman. And you looked stunning.
He couldnât take his eyes off you. The transformation was breathtaking. You stood there, looking radiant in your wedding dress, and for the first time, the reality of the situation hit him. You werenât just a friend anymore; you were about to become his partner, his wife.
He was so lost in the moment that he didnât realize he was gawking until you and the women turned to him, waiting for his response. He blinked, snapping back to reality, and managed to find his voice.
âYou look...â he started, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words. âYou look absolutely stunning.â
Your cheeks flushed at his earnest compliment. âYou really think so?â
Soonyoung nodded, still unable to tear his eyes away. âIâve never seen anything more beautiful.â
His sister grinned, nudging him playfully. âTold you sheâd find the perfect dress.â
Your mom wiped away a tear, âYouâre going to make a beautiful bride.â
Soonyoungâs mom stepped forward, adjusting a tiny detail on the veil. âThis is the one. Itâs perfect.â
You looked at yourself in the mirror, feeling a sense of certainty wash over you. âYes, this is the one,â you said, smiling at the reflection and then at the people around you who made this moment even more special.
[...]
The days leading up to the wedding were a whirlwind of activity. Every day brought something new to choose, and your creativity was running dry. You were worn out, and Soonyoung knew it. Today had been particularly exhausting.
As the realtor showed you yet another option for apartments in the Metropole, you responded with short answers, your enthusiasm long gone after visiting sixteen places that day alone.
âSo, what do you think?â the realtor asked.
Soonyoung noticed your hesitation. âCan I talk with my wife for a sec?â he asked.
The realtor nodded and walked off, giving you space.
âY/N-nie... are you okay?â Soonyoung asked softly, looking at you through his lashes.
You sighed, your shoulders slumping. âIâm so tired,â you confessed.
He took a step closer, his voice softening. âDo you want to talk about it?â
You breathed out heavily. âMy family is putting a lot of pressure on me, and Iâm working relentlessly at the company. I canât wait for us to get marriedâŚâ
Soonyoungâs heart sank a little. âYou want to get married just to get free from it?â
âNo, itâs not just that. Itâs everything. The wedding preparations, the constant decisions, the endless work... I feel like Iâm drowning.â
He reached out, gently taking your hand. âWe donât have to rush this, you know. We can take our time.â
âBut everyoneâs expecting so much from us,â you replied, feeling the weight of expectations.
âLet them expect,â he said firmly. âAnd I want this to be as much about you as it is about us.â
âI just... I donât want to disappoint anyone,â you admitted.
âYou wonât,â Soonyoung assured you. âYouâve already done so much. Itâs okay to take a step back and breathe.â
You took a deep breath, feeling a bit lighter. âAlright. Letâs look at this apartment one more time.â
Soonyoung nodded, giving you an encouraging smile. âAnd if itâs not the one, weâll keep looking until we find the perfect place for us.â
You laughed softly, the tension easing. âYou always know how to make things better.â
âJust doing my job as your soon-to-be husband,â he said playfully.
Soonyoung was doing an incredible job.Â
From what youâd heard from friends who had gone through the same situation, they didnât have partners like Soonyoung. You felt proud of him.Â
He was your rock, making sure you took a breath when you were overwhelmed by the slightest things. He even insisted you didn't move a finger during brunch, making you so relaxed that you found the apartment youâd been searching for on the very same day.
The drive home was quiet, the car enveloped in a peaceful silence that allowed you a moment to rest. You laid your head back as he drove, appreciating the tranquility. Once you arrived, you stayed seated for a bit, soaking in the comfort of the quiet.
Soonyoung looked at you, waiting patiently. When you finally looked up, he gave you a gentle smile. âReady to go in?â
You nodded, feeling a bit more refreshed. âYeah, letâs go.â
He stepped out of the car and came around to your side, opening the door for you. âTake your time,â he said softly.
You appreciated his patience as you slowly got out of the car. âThank you, Soonyoung.â
He smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked towards the house. âIâm just doing what any good partner would do.â
You leaned into him, feeling grateful for his support. âI donât think everyone is as lucky as I am.â
He chuckled softly. âWell, Iâm pretty lucky too, you know.â
As you entered the house, you felt a sense of relief. The apartment search was over, and you had found the perfect place. More importantly, you had Soonyoung by your side, making every step of this journey easier.
âSo, whatâs next on our list?â he asked, guiding you to the living room.
You sank into the couch, feeling the exhaustion of the day catch up to you. âI think a nap is next on my list.â
He laughed, sitting beside you. âThat sounds like a perfect plan.â
You closed your eyes, feeling the weight of the day lift off your shoulders. âWake me up in an hour?â
[...]
The days flew by in a blur with the whirlwind of wedding preparations. It felt like only moments ago you were choosing flowers, tasting cakes, and finalizing guest lists.Â
Now, as you stood at the end of the aisle, holding a bouquet in front of Soonyoung, the reality of the moment hit you with full force.
The weight of the dress and the pressure of looking perfect made your hands sweat like never before. You felt like a porcelain doll, perfectly polished and poised.
Soonyoung stood there, his eyes fixed on you with pride. He couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness. Here you were, a perfect woman by his side, and even better, an old friend he'd known for years.Â
The familiarity of your presence brought him comfort. Despite the fact that you hadnât really dated, the idea of having someone as pretty and cool as you with him every day made him feel at ease about the whole situation.
As you walked down the aisle, your eyes met his, and a small, reassuring smile played on his lips. He looked stunning in his suit, and the way he stood tall, waiting for you, made your heart flutter.Â
You could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes, mirroring your own, but there was also a calmness there, a silent promise that everything would be alright.
When you finally reached him, he extended his hand towards you. He leaned in slightly, whispering just loud enough for you to hear, âYou look amazing.â
You blushed, your nerves momentarily forgotten. âThank you. You look pretty good yourself.â
The vows were sincere, filled with heartfelt words that spoke more to your shared friendship than any romantic notion. Both of you couldnât help but giggle as you remembered all the crazy things youâd done together as kids.Â
Your minds flashed to the time you stole sweets from an event or when you both jumped into a water fountain during an important dinner with company directors.
As the officiant declared you husband and wife, all of these memories became a sweet reverie. You leaned in and whispered with a playful glint in your eye, âAre you going to kiss my lips or my cheek?â
Soonyoung blushed, clearly caught off guard by the question. A kiss on the cheek was typical in such moments since most arranged couples didnât share a romantic bond. He stammered for a moment, his face flushing a deep shade of pink.
âWell⌠uh⌠I suppose the cheek would be safe,â he mumbled, eyes darting nervously.
You couldnât help but chuckle softly, leaning closer. âBut whereâs the fun in that, Soonyoung?â
He looked at you, his eyes widening slightly. The playful challenge in your gaze gave him the courage he needed. With a deep breath, he moved in, his hand gently cupping your face.
âI think Iâll go for the lips,â he whispered back, his voice steadying.
The crowd held its breath as Soonyoung leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a soft, tender kiss. It was a simple kiss, not passionate, but filled with the warmth of years of friendship and the promise of a shared future. The applause that followed was thunderous, but all you could focus on was the feeling of his lips against yours.
As you pulled away, you both wore matching grins. âThat wasnât so bad, was it?â you teased,
He laughed, shaking his head. âNot bad at all. Actually, it was kind of nice.â
You linked arms, turning to face the crowd together. Your parents looked relieved and proud, while your friends were cheering loudly, clearly entertained by the spectacle. Soonyoungâs eyes met yours again, and there was a newfound spark there, full of possibilities.
As you both shared champagne with your parents, Soonyoung playfully asked, "No tequila tonight?" You were about to respond when his mom's voice cut in, "Tequila?"
Soonyoungâs eyes widened, and his mouth twisted into a frown as he tried to suppress his laughter. You quickly improvised, "Huh, h-he meant... tacos! We had tacos with tequila last time, remember?" You forced a smile, hoping it sounded convincing enough. His mom seemed satisfied with the answer, nodding along.
After mingling with guestsâaka talking with people from work about the next meetingâyou finally found a moment to escape the spotlight. You and Soonyoung crouched behind the kitchen, hiding from the crowd. The chefs chuckled at the sight of the newlyweds sneaking bites of food, but they made sure to hand you the best eats, knowing how overwhelming the day could be.
Soonyoung grinned, playfully nudging you. "We're so used to doing this at parties that we're practically pros now."
You nodded in agreement, a mischievous smile on your face. "Even though it's our own wedding party," you said, shaking your head in disbelief.
He chuckled, looking at the gold ring on your finger with a sense of wonder. "Our wedding... I still can't believe it. Oh my god, we're grown adults now."
You couldnât help but laugh, reaching out to pat his head mockingly. "We've been grown adults for... kind of a long time already," you teased, a playful glint in your eye.
He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, then leaned in closer, his voice softening. "Yeah, but it feels different now. Like, we're really starting something new."
You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. It was true. The reality of your situation was sinking in, but in a way, it felt comforting. You had each other, and that made everything seem a little less daunting. As you sat there, hidden away from the chaos of the celebration, it struck you how much you appreciated this momentâjust the two of you, stealing away for a breather.
âShall we follow tradition?â Soonyoung asks, a playful glint in his eyes. You frown, confused, as he reaches into the fridge and pulls out a bottle of tequila.
âShould tequila be kept in the fridge?â you ask, laughing at the sight.
âI hope so,â he replies, pouring the liquid into a cup. âThis one is expensive.â
You raise an eyebrow, taking the cup from him. âThe cheapest has the same effect,â you say, waiting for him to pour his own.
He chuckles, raising his glass. âBut todayâs a special day. We deserve the good stuff.â
You laugh it off, crossing your arms before taking the shot together. The familiar burn makes you both scrunch up your faces.
The wedding party was truly one of a kind. You and Soonyoung were a bit too excited, turning the waltz space into a wild dance floor.Â
At first, your parents were too embarrassed to join, especially at the sight of Soonyoung twerking on you. But soon, even the directors and business partners were on the dance floor, dancing and drinking extravagantly.
[...]
The next morning, you and Soonyoung were woken up by the buzzing of your phones.Â
Your makeup was smudged and stamped on the pillow, and you were still in your wedding dress. You scratched your scalp, feeling the bobby pins still tangled in your hair.Â
Soonyoung was no better; his shirt was unbuttoned to his belly button, his tie was loosened around his neck, and his hair looked like a bird's nest. He scratched his forehead groggily. Despite sharing the same bed, you both seemed unbothered by it.
You grabbed your phone and saw the company group chat flooded with messages:
âWow, last night was incredible! Congrats to the newlyweds!â
âI can't believe we all danced that much! My feet are killing me. :')â
âBest wedding party ever! So happy for you guys!â
âMy head is pounding, but it was totally worth it. ^^ Cheers to you both!â
âIâm still recovering from all that dancing. What a party!â
âNever thought Iâd see the CEO breakdancing. ă
ă
ă
ă
â
You couldn't help but smile at the messages, as Soonyoung peeked over your shoulder, a sleepy grin spreading across his face.
âMy head hurts,â Soonyoung complains, rubbing his temples.
You adjust the corset of your dress, feeling the tightness around your ribs. "My ribs are squeezed," you grumble, wincing as you try to get comfortable. "I can't believe I slept in this."
He yawns, glancing down at your leg. "You even kept the garter on," he points out, noticing the delicate band still around your thigh.
You crack your neck, feeling the weight of the long night. "Your sister gave it to me, so I put it on," you explain, lifting the voluminous skirt to reveal the bridal garter.
His eyes widen comically. "My sister?! Is there something I don't know?"
You frown at him, a bit confused. "You donât know about the tradition?"
Soonyoung looks a bit lost, scratching his head. "I mean, itâs my first time getting married."
You sigh, laying back down. "Traditionally, the groom is supposed to take it off when... taking the virginity," you explain, watching his face turn a shade of pink.
His eyes dart around nervously, processing the information. "So... my sister thought I was... a virgin?"
You shrug, teasing, "Probably. Are you?"
He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Definitely not. And you?"
You raise an eyebrow, smirking. "Nope. Sorry to disappoint."
He chuckles, finally relaxing. "Good to know. Not that it matters, but... it's funny to think about how everyone just assumes stuff."
âAre you going to take it off?â you tease, stretching your leg up and wiggling your foot playfully. Your eyes glint mischievously as you watch Soonyoungâs reaction.
He scoffs, but a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. âWhat, you mean right now?â His eyes flicker to your thigh, then quickly back up to your face, trying to gauge if youâre serious or just messing with him.
You arch an eyebrow, maintaining your playful expression. âWhy not? Itâs tradition, right? Donât you want to fulfill your husbandly duties?â You stretch your leg out further, making the garter more visible.
Soonyoung chuckles, shaking his head. âYouâre unbelievable,â he mutters, but thereâs a sparkle of joy in his eyes. He reaches out hesitantly, his fingers brushing lightly against your thigh. The touch sends a shiver to your skin, and you canât help but giggle.
âWhatâs the matter?â you prod, your voice dripping with mock innocence. âYouâre not getting cold feet, are you?â
He rolls his eyes, trying to suppress a laugh. âNot at all,âÂ
You bute your lip as his fingers graze the lacy fabric of the garter. His touch is feather-light, almost ticklish, and you squirm a bit under his hand.
Soonyoung smirks, clearly enjoying your reaction. âYouâre squirming,â he notes, his voice low and teasing. âDoes that mean youâre nervous?â
You scoff, shaking your head. âMe? Nervous? Please,â you retort, trying to sound confident despite the rapid beating of your heart. âIâm just surprised youâre taking so long. I thought youâd be an expert at this.â
He chuckles, sliding his hand a bit higher up your thigh, his thumb brushing against your skin in slow, deliberate strokes. âOh, I am,â he replies smoothly. âJust savoring the moment.â
âWell, donât take too long,â you murmur, your voice softening slightly. âWe wouldnât want to miss out on any other wedding traditions.â
Soonyoung grins, his fingers hooking under the garter. âRight, canât forget those,â he says, his voice tinged with a hint of naughtiness.Â
He gently tugs on the garter, slowly sliding it down your leg, his eyes never leaving yours.Â
As he finally slips the garter off, he holds it up triumphantly, a goofy grin on his face. âThere, tradition fulfilled,â he declares, waving the garter like a trophy.
You laugh, shaking your head at his antics. âCongratulations,â you say, clapping mockingly. âYouâve successfully removed a piece of elastic lace. Truly, a remarkable achievement.â
He bows dramatically, playing along. âThank you, thank you,â he says, flashing you a cheeky smile. âIt was a tough job, but someone had to do it.â
You canât help but laugh, the light-hearted banter making the moment feel even more special. Soonyoungâs hand lingers on your leg for a moment longer before he finally lets go.
As Soonyoung gets up, stretching his arms with a yawn, he announces, "I'm going to take a bath." He heads towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
You sit up, still feeling the effects of last night's festivities, and shout after him, âYa! Ladies first!â
From behind the closed door, you hear Soonyoung's laughter echo in the bathroom. âSorry, didnât hear you over the sound of me already starting the water!â he calls back, his voice filled with playful defiance.
You shake your head, smiling to yourself. Itâs these little moments that make everything feel so natural and easy with him. After a few minutes, you hear the sound of running water stop, and Soonyoung emerges from the bathroom, his hair damp and a towel wrapped around his waist.
âAll yours,â he says, grinning. âI left some hot water for you, too.â
You roll your eyes playfully, grabbing your toiletries and heading into the bathroom. The warm water is a welcome relief, washing away the remnants of makeup and the night's events. After a quick shower, you step out feeling slightly more human, though the hangover still lingers.
As you both finish getting ready, the thought of breakfast crosses your mind. However, just the idea of food makes your stomach churn. The hotel's breakfast spread is typically lavish, but today, the thought of greasy bacon and pastries is anything but appetizing.
Soonyoung, dressed in a casual outfit, catches your expression as you look at the food options. âYeah, not feeling it either,â he says, rubbing his temple. âLet's skip it.â
You nod in agreement, both of you opting for just a coffee to stave off the worst of the hangover. With minimal conversation, you gather your belongings, checking out of the hotel and heading straight to the airport.
But one thing you definitely didnât expect was Soonyoung falling asleep on your shoulder within the first thirty minutes of the flight. His head rested heavily against you, and his hand, seemingly by accident, was placed on your thigh.Â
As he softly snored, you couldnât help but chuckle at how comfortable he looked. Anyone passing by would probably think you two were an old married couple, so naturally attuned to each other.
His head's weight pressed down on your shoulder, a constant reminder of his presence. Every now and then, you felt him subconsciously moisturizing his lips, a small, almost imperceptible movement that somehow made the moment even more cute.
You glanced at the small TV screen in front of you, trying to focus on the movie playing. It was a romance novel adaptation, the kind with sweeping gestures and grand declarations of love.
Normally, you might have rolled your eyes at the clichĂŠ, but with Soonyoung sleeping peacefully beside you, it felt oddly fitting.
As the plane cruised through the sky, you found yourself getting lost in the storyline, occasionally glancing at Soonyoung. His breathing was steady, a gentle rhythm that added to the soothing hum of the plane.Â
You shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable without disturbing him, but his hand tightened instinctively on your thigh, holding you in place. It was a small, protective gesture that made your heart flutter.
What you loved the most was when Soonyoung finally woke up, blinking sleepily and then immediately apologizing. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, his face flushed with embarrassment. You chuckled, assuring him it was okay, that he had every right to rest. He seemed genuinely mortified, even offering, âYou can sleep on my shoulder too, I promise.â
You smiled at his earnestness, brushing it off with a light, âMaybe on the way back, then,â as the announcement came that you were about to land.
Once you arrived, Soonyoung was quick to grab the suitcases from the taxi, his efficiency a comfort as you made your way to the hotel's check-in counter.
The conciergeâs eyes seemed to linger on you a little too long, his gaze sliding over your sundress and perhaps admiring more than just the attire.Â
As you waited for the receptionist, the concierge leaned casually on the counter, offering a friendly, yet slightly flirtatious, smile.
âFirst time here, maâam?â he asked, his tone smooth and inviting.
âWell, yes...â you replied, keeping your voice polite but detached. You could feel the weight of his attention and tried to subtly stretch your hand, making sure the gold ring on your finger was clearly visible.
The concierge didnât seem to get the hint, or perhaps he chose to ignore it. âYouâre in for a treat. Weâve got some wonderful spots forââ
Before he could continue, you felt Soonyoung's presence behind you, a comforting warmth at your back. His body pressed lightly against yours, a subtle yet possessive gesture that didnât go unnoticed. His hand slipped around your waist, resting just below your belly, the touch gentle but unmistakably protective.
He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. âEverything alright?â he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity and a subtle edge.
You could almost feel the shift in the air. The concierge straightened up, his expression flickering between surprise and a polite smile. âOh, just making sure your stay is perfect,â he said, his tone now more professional, eyes darting between you and Soonyoung.
âThank you,â Soonyoung replied, his voice steady. His hand didnât move from its spot on your belly, and the slight squeeze he gave was enough to send a clear message. You leaned back into him, feeling a rush of warmth at his silent claim.
The receptionist finally returned with your room keys, handing them over with a bright, âWelcome to our hotel! We hope you enjoy your stay.â With the keys in hand, you and Soonyoung made your way to the elevator.
As the doors closed, sealing you both from the world outside, you turned to Soonyoung with a smirk. âLooks like someoneâs a little possessive.â
He grinned back, a playful glint in his eyes. âJust making sure everyone knows youâre taken.â
You tease him back with a playful smirk. âWell, itâs just a business marriage. You shouldnât worry about stuff like that,â you say, your tone light and slightly mocking.
Soonyoung scoffs, turning his gaze to the side with a dramatic sigh. âYouâre such an idiot,â he mocks, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
âAn idiot, hm?â you counter, crossing your arms with a smirk. âWell, Iâm an idiot you agreed to marry, so I guess that makes you twice the fool.â
He raises an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. âSharp tongue of yours, huh?â
You nod, feigning innocence. âWhat can I say? Iâve had years of practice.â
Soonyoung leans in closer, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. âYou know, itâs a shame. I was really looking forward to giving you something special once we got to our hotel room.â
Your curiosity piques immediately. âSomething special? Like what?â
He grins, clearly enjoying your reaction. âOh, just something thatâll make you remember tonight.â
You raise an eyebrow, trying to gauge his meaning. âSomething thatâll make me remember tonight, huh? Care to elaborate?â
Soonyoung chuckles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. âOh, I think you already know what Iâm talking about.â
You narrow your eyes, playfully challenging him. âDo I? Because youâre being awfully vague.â
He leans back, enjoying the game. âWell, I guess youâll just have to wait and see.â
The teasing glint in his eyes only fuels your curiosity further. You know exactly what heâs implying, but you play along, eager to hear him say it outright.
âSo,â you press, âwhat is it? Can you give me a hint?â
Soonyoungâs grin widens, clearly relishing the moment. âLetâs just say itâs something thatâll make you very excited. And not just because of the hotelâs decor.â
You roll your eyes, laughing softly. âAlright, alright. I get it. Youâre being all mysterious.â
You sulk, trailing behind Soonyoung as he walks down the hallway toward your room. âTell me, pleeeease,â you plead.
Soonyoung glances back at you with a mischievous smile. âNope, not telling,â he says, his grin widening as he enjoys your insistence.
When you reach the door, Soonyoung unlocks it and pushes it open, gesturing for you to enter. You walk in, your eyes scanning the room briefly, but your focus quickly returns to Soonyoung. He places the suitcases by the door and then hops onto the bed, sprawling out with a relaxed sigh.
You stay standing by the door, your arms crossed over your chest, giving him a sulky, upset look.Â
âSo,â Soonyoung says with a defiant glare, âam I forgetting something?â
You pout, trying to look as curious and frustrated as possible. âYouâve got me curious,â you admit, your eyes wide.
He laughs, brushing his hand through his hair with a playful sigh. âYouâre almost throwing a tantrum over this?â
Soonyoung slides his hand down his abdomen slowly, getting lower and lower, until he's wrapping his fingers around his cock through his white shorts. The outline is clear, thick, and perfectly defined against the fabric.
He gives it a little shake, a sly smile playing on his lips as he watches your reaction.
You stare at him in shock, your knees almost giving way as you take in the sight. Your mouth opens slightly, but no words come out as you struggle to process what you're seeing.
Soonyoungâs smile widens, clearly enjoying the effect heâs having on you. âAre you surprised?â
He chuckles softly, clearly pleased with your reaction. âWell, I figured it was time to give you a little hint,â he says, his hand still resting casually on his bulge. âSo, do you think youâre ready to find out what else I have in store for tonight?â
You stammer, unable to look away from the outline of his cock pressed against the fabric of his shorts. âDo we have to wait until nightfall?â
Soonyoung licks his lips, his gaze never leaving you. âOh,â he drawls, âbut you have to walk properly tonight, so we can go to the restaurant.â
Your eyes darken, a fire igniting within you. âYou think I canât handle all of this inside?âÂ
He raises an eyebrows. âYou shouldnât,â he says, his voice dripping with devilishness. âItâs just a business wedding, after all.â
You narrow your eyes at him. âJust a business wedding, huh? You really want to test me?â
Soonyoung chuckles, clearly enjoying the playful back-and-forth. âThatâs right. Letâs see if you can keep your composure while we enjoy a nice dinner.â
You take a deep breath, feeling a rush of adrenaline. âChallenge accepted,âÂ
Youâve never been so turned on by someoneâs mere presence before. The entire city tour was a cruel game of torture, all at Soonyoungâs hands.Â
In the taxi, his hand had wandered to your nude thigh, brushing against your skin like a feather. The way his fingers lightly caressed your inner leg made your heart race and your breath catch.Â
At the restaurant, the casual caresses continued. His leg pressed against yours under the table, his touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary.
The warmth of his skin against yours, the way he would occasionally let his knee slide up your thighâeach movement was like an electric current surging through you, leaving you squirming in your seat.
Walking through the jewelry fair was an exercise in restraint. As you admired the sparkling displays, Soonyoungâs hands kept drifting to the exposed skin of your back. His touch was light, almost playful, but each graze against your bare skin made you shiver with need.Â
You could barely focus on the dazzling jewels in front of you; your mind was consumed with the need for him.
By the time you were back in the elevator, you felt like you were on the edge of losing control. You could feel his eyes on you, sharp and hungry, as you pressed yourself against the wall.Â
You turned your face away, but you couldnât hide the truth from him. Your nipples, straining against your dress, betrayed your arousal. Your legs, pressed tightly together, were a clear sign of your desperation. Even your unsteady breaths gave you away.
When you finally arrived at the hotel room, you barely made it inside before your desperation took over.Â
You throw him against the wall, hands planted firmly on his chest. The sound reverberates through the room, probably making the neighbors wonder what the hell is going on. His usually small eyes are wide, staring at you flaggerblasted.Â
Your breath mingles with his as you lean in, letting your lips barely graze his. Your voice comes out breathy, almost desperate, âPlease. Stop teasing me.â
For a moment, he's stunned, caught off guard by the whininess in your voice and the look on your faceâlike you might break if he doesn't give you what you need right now.
It's a twisted scenario, considering you're his childhood friend turned wife is standing before him with an expression that borders on agonyâan agony only he can alleviate.
For a moment, he looks like he might laugh, but he knows he's on the verge of losing all sense of control, but a part of him relishes the idea.Â
âSay it again,â he murmurs. He knows he's playing with fire, but he can't resist the thrill. His lips barely brush against yours, teasing, taunting.
âSoonyoung, I'm going to fucking cry if you don'tââ
âHold it,â he commands,you shudder, your breath hitching as he lifts your dress. And you comply, bunching the fabric in your fists to keep it out of the way.Â
His hand slides down the front of your panties, and your head falls back.Â
Soonyoung leans in, his lips ghosting over your ear. âYouâre so fucking impatient,â he growls.Â
His fingers slide through your slick folds, finding you wet and wanting, throbbing everytime he rubs his fat fingers on you. âYouâve never even tasted my cock, and youâre already obsessed, huh?â He presses his thumb against your clit, making you gasp. âYouâre such a needy little thing, arenât you?â
You whimper, your hips bucking against his hand. You can barely think straight. âPlease, Soonyoung,â you beg again, your voice cracking.
He chuckles darkly, clearly relishing your desperation. âYou want my cock so bad, don't you?â His fingers slide inside you, curling just right, and you cry out. âYou want me to fuck you senseless? Make you scream my name?â
âYes,â you breathe, your voice barely a whisper. The words spill out of you, unfiltered and raw. âI want you to ruin me.â
âYouâve never had anyone fill you up like I will,â he says. âIâm gonna stretch you out so good, baby. Youâll be begging for more, even when you canât take it.â
The dirty talk, the sheer vulgarity of his words, makes you even wetter. You feel like you're on the verge of losing control, and it's rousing.Â
Soonyoung's fingers pump in and out of you, each thrust bringing you closer to the edge. His thumb rubs relentless circles on your clit, and you can feel the tension building, winding tighter and tighter.
âYouâre gonna cum on my fingers first,â he whispers. âAnd then Iâm gonna fuck you so hard, you wonât be able to walk straight for days. Is that what you want, baby? To be fucked so good, you canât even think about anything else?â
âYes, yes, please,â you pant, your voice high and desperate. You can feel the orgasm building, Soonyoung's touch is all-consuming, driving you wild with every stroke.
âSuch a good girl,â he murmurs.âSo eager to please. Iâm gonna make you feel so fucking good.â
Here and there, Soonyoung is driving you insane with his body affixed to the wall, one strong arm holding your leg up. His wrist swiveling to match his fingers as they explore your weeping cunt and his repetitive rubbing of the areas that cause you to roll your eyes.Â
You cry out, gasping as you roll your hips onto his fingers, the orgasm making you forget what would be appropriate at the time. Soonyoung's fingers work you through it, drawing out every last drop of you.
As you come down from the high, you realize you're still clinging to him, fingers deep on his muscular shoulders, your breaths coming in hiccups. Soonyoung pulls his fingers out of you, and you feel a pang of loss.
Your legs feel like jelly, and you can barely stand. Soonyoung catches you, pulling you close.Â
Soonyoung's eyes rake over you, his smirk widening as he takes in the sight of your trembling legs. âYou're trembling,â he chuckle. His gaze drops to the slick mess between your thighs, and he bites his lip, clearly reveling in the sight. âBetter than this... you're literally dripping,â appreciating.Â
He lets your leg down, holding you firmly as he guides you back onto the bed. The plush mattress sinks under your weight.
âGod forgive me,â he continues, âbut if our mothers weren't in that dressing room that day, I would've fucked you right there in the store. With that princess veil of yours... I would've pinned you against the mirror and made you scream my name.â
Your mouth falls open. The image of him taking you into that bridal shop, surrounded by white lace and satin, ââhitting you like a punch to the gut.
You're not sure what shocks you more: his bold declaration or the way your body reacts to it, growing wetter with every word.
He smirks at your reaction.
âWhat's the matter, princess? Cat got your tongue?" He teases. His fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly dragging them down your legs. âOr are you just too turned on to speak?"
He's right; you're completely at his mercy, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a response.
He strips off his shirt, revealing the sculpted lines of his torso, then shucks off his shorts. His erection strains against the fabric of his boxers, and he groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as he palms himself.
âI could've fucked you on that altar,â he visualize. "In front of all those guests. Just to show everyone that no matter how arranged this marriage was, you're mine. No one else's.â
He opens his eyes, locking onto yours. âI would've spread you open right there, had you screaming my name, showing them all who you belong to."
His dirty words, the way he claims you with every syllable, makes your head spin.
Soonyoung's hand moves over his bulge, his eyes never leaving yours. âYou don't even know how much I've wanted you,â he hisses. âHow much I want to fuck you senseless, make you mine in every way.â
He leans over you, his breath hot against your ear. âAnd tonight, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll forget about everyone else. Just me, and this cock inside you, filling you up until you can't think straight.â
You squirm, your body responding to his filthy promises. You can't tear your eyes away from him, your mind racing with the possibilities of what the night holds.Â
Soonyoung's fingers brush against the hem of your dress, and you shudder at the contact. âTake it off,â he orders, his voice rough. âI want you naked, spread out on this bed, ready for me.â His eyes bore into yours, and you know he's not just askingâhe's demanding.Â
You slip your dress over your head, tossing it aside as you finally catch sight of Soonyoung completely naked. His hand moves over his erection, the cockhead glistening with precum. The sight makes you lick your lips.
âCan youââ he starts to ask, but you cut him off, not needing him to finish.
âYes!â you nearly moan. His eyes darken, a smirk playing on his lips as you drop to your knees in front of him.
You take a moment to appreciate the sight before you. His cock is thick and veined, the head an angry red, glossy with precum. You can almost taste it just from looking.
Tentatively, you lean in and press a soft kiss to the tip, tasting the salty precum on your tongue. It's musky and slightly bitter, but it makes you want to choke on this cock. You swirl your tongue around the head, savoring the taste and the way his breath hitches above you.
Soonyoung's hand tangles in your hair, guiding you closer. âYes, baby,â he groans, his voice thick with need. âJust like that.â
Encouraged by his reaction, you take him deeper into your mouth, your lips stretching around his girth. The texture of his cock is smooth yet rigid, the veins pulsating against your tongue. You hollow your cheeks, creating a tight seal as you bob your head, taking more of him with each movement.
His hips jerk forward involuntarily, and you hear a strangled moan escape his lips. âShit, that feels so good,â he pants, his grip on your hair tightening. You look up at him through your lashes, your eyes meeting his. The sight of him looking down at you, his face twisted in pleasure, spurs you on.
You slide your hand up his thigh, wrapping it around the base of his cock to stroke what you can't fit in your mouth. Your other hand cups his balls, gently massaging them as you continue to suck him.Â
You hum around his length, sending vibrations through him. He shudders, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. âYou're so fucking good at this,â he praises, his voice breathless. âSo eager, so perfect.â
You moan around his cock at the praise. You take him deeper, pushing your limits as you feel him hit the back of your throat. You gag slightly but push through, wanting to please him, wanting to show him how much you want this.
âY/N,â he gasps, his hips bucking forward again. âYou're going to make me cum if you keep doing that.âHis voice is strained, you don't know if he's warning you or if he's desperate.
You don't let up, doubling your efforts. You suck harder, your tongue swirling around the sensitive head every time you pull back. Your hand continues to pump the base of his cock, matching the rhythm of your mouth. You can feel him throbbing, his cock pulsing with need.
Soonyoung's moans grow louder, more desperate. His breaths come in uneven pants, his body tense with the need for release. âFuck, Y/N, I'm so close,â he warns, his voice breaking.
You look up at him, your eyes locking with his as you take him even deeper. You want to see him come undone, to watch him lose control because of you. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, and with one last swirl of your tongue, he lets out a choked moan.
He comes hard, his hips jerking as he spills into your mouth. The taste of his release floods your senses, warm and salty. You swallow every drop, savoring the way he trembles above you. His hand in your hair tightens, holding you in place as he rides out his orgasm.
His hand gently strokes your hair after, a contrast to the rough grip from moments before. You pull back, licking your lips and savoring the last taste of him.
He lifts you up effortlessly, his lips crashing into yours. He doesn't care that his cock was just in your mouth seconds ago or that his cum lingers on your tongue. The taste of himself on your lips makes him moan, the sound vibrating between you.
After a moment, he pulls back, one hand wrapping around your throat, not tight but firm enough to make you feel his presence. His eyes bore into yours, as he licks his sensitive lips.
âYou were sucking me so good,â he rasps, âthat I almost said âI love youâ.âÂ
A laugh bursts out of you, hearty and genuine, and he watches you with a smirk.Â
âI swear,â he continues, his tone playful. âif I'd known marrying you would come with benefits like this, I would've done it way sooner.â âI feel like I owe you something after that blowjob,â he says, his voice dropping into a deeper, more sultry tone.
You bite your lip, a dirty thought flashing through your mind, and Soonyoung picks up on it immediately. Soonyoung's gaze narrows, reading the filth in your expression
âWhat is it? What do you want?â he asks excitedly.
âCan you fuck me⌠doggy style?â you ask.
âYes, I can,â The corners of his mouth twitch, barely holding back a grin.
You look up, pretending to be lost in thought, then say, âCan you fuck me in missionary?â
He nods again, biting his lip, his grip on your throat tightening just a little.
âCan you fuck me inside⌠the shower?âÂ
He presses you tightly against him, his hand gripping your waist possessively, but your gaze still eating him whole.Â
âI can fuck you upside down, sideways, any way you want, baby,â he answers, his voice steady and confident. âJust say the word, and I'll make it happen.â
You moan in response. Too early to say that you're already dumb for his cock?
âGet on all fours and lift that pretty ass for me.â
As you crawl up the bed, you make sure to put on a show. You arch your back, lifting your ass higher, giving Soonyoung the view he wants. You wiggle it a little, teasing him.Â
The motion makes your pussy lips part slightly, already slick and ready for him. You can feel his eyes on you, burning with thirst. Without warning, his hand comes down hard on your ass, the sharp sting making you gasp. You let out a yelp. You know that mark will be there tomorrow, like a postmark, like a stamp, like a reminder of this moment, and the thought makes you even wetter.
He moves behind you, the bed dipping under his weight. You feel his hands on your hips, gripping you firmly as he positions himself. You can't help but push back against him, seeking more contact.
âSo fucking perfect,â he mutters, running his hands over the curves of your ass, squeezing the flesh and kneading it roughly. He spreads you open, taking in the sight of your wetness. âLook at how ready you are for me. You're dripping, baby.â
You moan, pushing back against him, desperate for more. âPlease, Soonyoung, I need you.â
âFuck, you sound so desperate,â he taunts, positioning himself behind you. His cock slides against your folds, teasing you, making you whimper. âBeg for it. Beg for my cock.â
âPlease, Soonyoung, fuck me,â you whine. âI need your cock inside me, please. I canât wait any longer.â
He doesn't tease, doesn't make you wait any longer. He thrusts in with one hard, deep stroke, filling you completely. The sudden intrusion makes you cry out, a slight discomfort as your walls stretch around him. But it makes your toes curl.Â
âGod, youâre so tight,â he groans, gripping your hips as he starts to move. âSo fucking tight and wet for me. You feel that? Thatâs my cock stretching your pussy.â
You moan loudly, the pleasure building with each thrust. âYes, Soonyoung, I feel it. It feels so good. Fuck me harder.â
He picks up the pace, his hips snapping against yours, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. He reaches around, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing it in tight, fast circles. The sudden burst of pleasure makes you gasp, your body jolting.
He pulls back slowly, only to slam back in, setting a rough, punishing rhythm, making you roll your eyes back.
He's so deep, hitting spots you didn't even know existed. Each thrust makes you see stars, and you can't help but moan loudly, not caring if the entire hotel hears you. The stretch, the fullness, it's all so overwhelming, so fucking good.
âCome on,â he urges, voice a low growl. âCum for me, baby. Let me feel you squeeze this cock.â
It's all too much. The feel of his cock, his fingers on your clit, the dirty words spilling from his lipsâit all sends you over the edge. The second orgasm of the night making you feel already exhausted. Your voice hoarse, as you feel yourself sloppier between your legs.Â
There's no mercy in his movements; he's fucking you through your high, pushing you beyond your limits. Each time he hits your cervix, a sharp jolt of pleasure-pain ripples through you, making your arms tremble uncontrollably.
You try to hold yourself up, but your strength falters. With a soft cry, your arms give out, and your chest falls against the bed. Soonyoung lets out a low chuckle, a smug grin spreading across his face as he watches you crumble beneath him. Even with your body slack, you're impossibly tight around him, your pussy squeezing him like a vice.Â
Soonyoungâs hands grip your hips tightly, holding you in place as he continues to pound into you from behind. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, stretching you, making your walls clench involuntarily around him.Â
He leans over you, his breath hot against your ear, and you can hear the pride in his voice as he coos, âAww, look at you. So fucking helpless, so fucking wrecked. You canât even hold yourself up, can you?âÂ
You can barely muster a response, a breathy whimper escaping your lips as you feel the tears start to stream down your cheeks. Itâs an almost incredulous feeling, the tears mixing with the sweat on your face.Â
Youâve never been fucked like this before, never been pushed to the brink and then beyond, your body betraying you as it trembles under his control. Itâs a raw, visceral experience that leaves you gasping for air, your mind a hazy blur of feel.
Soonyoung notices the tears, and his smirk grows wider. âLook at you, crying for me,â he murmurs, his voice low and husky. âIs it too much, baby? Too fucking good? Love being fucked so hard you canât even think straight?âÂ
His hand moves from your hip to your hair, tangling his fingers in it and pulling your head back, forcing you to arch your back even more. The angle shifts, and he hits that perfect spot inside you, making you moan loudly, your voice cracking with the intensity of it all.
âYouâre so fucking tight,â he groans, his hips snapping forward with even more force. âGod, youâre squeezing me so fucking hard. Itâs like your pussy doesnât want to let me go.â He punctuates his words with deep, hard thrusts that leave you reeling, each one sending a jolt of pleasure-pain through your body.
âSo pretty when you cry,â he continues, his tone almost taunting. âI could do this all day, just watch you fall apart on my cockâ His words are filthy, degrading, but they ignite something inside you, a desperate need for more.Â
The way he speaks to you, the way he claims you with each word and each thrust, is addictive.
You canât hold back your sobs. âPlease,â you manage to choke out, not even sure what youâre begging for anymore.Â
More, less, anythingâjust something to ease the dizzying sensation coursing through you.
He laughs softly, a dark, knowing sound that makes your skin prickle. âPlease what, baby? You want me to stop? You want me to fuck you harder?âÂ
He pulls out almost completely, the emptiness leaving you gasping, and then slams back in with a force that makes your whole body jolt.
âYouâre so fucking greedy. Canât get enough, can you? You want this cock to ruin you, want me to fuck you so good youâll feel it for days.â
All you can do is moan and sob, your body shuddering with each thrust as he pounds into you. The bed creaks under the force of his movements, itâs dirty, raw, and utterly nasty.
âGonna make you cum again,â he murmurs, his voice a dark promise.Â
And as you feel the tension building inside you again, that familiar coil of pleasure tightening in your bellyâyou know heâs right.
He lays you gently on the bed, your back sinking into the mattress. Your face, flushed and glistening with sweat, looks completely wrecked, completely exhausted. Soonyoung feels a brief flicker of pity, but it quickly dissipates as you babble out your dirty words, barely coherent but dripping with need. âPlease... Soonyoung... more, need you so bad... fuckâŚâ
He smirks, spreading your wobbly legs apart, exposing the slick, swollen mess between them. âYou can barely form a sentence, and yet you still want more.â
He slides his cock back inside you, stretching you open once more.Â
Soonyoung's thumb finds your clit again, and he begins to work it in slow, light-touch circles. The sensation is maddening, a delicious contrast to the deep, methodical thrusts of his cock.Â
He watches your face intently, drinking in every expression, every gasp and whimper."That's it, baby," he coos. âLet me see that pretty face when you cum.â
You can barely keep your eyes open, your body overly sensitive from the previous orgasms, but he doesn't let up.
His other hand moves to your chest, fondling your breast, his fingers pinching and rolling your nipple before sliding up to wrap around your throat. This time, the grip is firm, real, and you can feel the delicious pressure as he chokes you just enough to make your head spin.
He leans in closer, his eyes never leaving your face.Â
You cling to him, your arms wrapping tightly around his body, pulling him closer as if you could merge with him, become one. The scent of sweat and skin mingling in the airâit all consumes you.Â
Your body is trembling, the tension coiling tighter and tighter in your core, a white-hot band of pressure that threatens to snap. Soonyoung's moans are louder now, but they seem distant, like they're coming from underwater, muffled by the roaring in your ears.
His pace quickens, and you feel yourself losing control, your mind slipping away from the physical world. The room, the bed, even Soonyoungâall of it fades into the background.Â
There's only the blinding, all-encompassing pleasure that fills every nerve, every cell in your body. It's like being pulled under a wave, the sensation crashing over you with a force that's almost violent.
Your thighs tremble uncontrollably, and you can feel the muscles in your abdomen clenching, the buildup to your orgasm reaching its peak.
And then, it hits. The climax rips through you, a white-hot explosion that leaves you gasping, the world narrowing down to the blinding sensation of pure, unadulterated pleasure.Â
Your back arches off the bed, your mouth opening in a silent scream as your vision goes white. The intensity is mind-numbing, erasing everything else from your mind except the overwhelming euphoria that pulses through you.
Your body shakes with the force of it, your legs quivering, toes curling as the pleasure radiates outward from your core. You can feel the slickness between your thighs, the way your walls flutter and squeeze around Soonyoung, pulling him deeper inside you.Â
Soonyoung's name falls from your lips in a choked sob, your voice hoarse and trembling.Â
You slowly come back to reality, feeling the weight of Soonyoung's body on top of you, his cum warm and sticky between your bellies.
Soonyoung pants loudly, trying to catch his breath. He lifts his head slightly to look at you, concern flickering in his eyes despite the satisfied smile on his lips. âYou okay, wifey?â he asks.
You manage a weak smile, still feeling the aftershocks of your intense orgasm. âIâm okay, hubby,â
His smile widens, and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. âGood,â he murmurs. âYou were amazing.â
You chuckle softly, the sound a bit strained. âYou werenât too bad yourself,â you tease, your hand coming up to rest on his back, feeling the muscles still taut from effort.
He laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against your own. âGlad I could satisfy my wife on our first night together,âÂ
âThink we should clean up?â Soonyoung asks after a while.
âProbably,â you agree, though neither of you makes a move to get up just yet. Youâre too content, too wrapped up in the warmth and comfort of each otherâs presence.
Eventually, with a reluctant sigh, Soonyoung shifts, carefully pulling away from you. The cool air hits your skin, making you shiver slightly. He helps you sit up, his hands gentle and supportive as you both make your way to the bathroom.
The weight of the wedding ring on your finger feels heavier now, more symbolic than ever. Itâs not just a piece of jewelry; itâs a constant reminder of the commitment youâve made and the life youâre building together.
Soonyoung, despite his own exhaustion, is kneeling beside the tub, gently washing you. His focused expression as he works to make sure youâre clean and comfortable. The sight of him, so dedicated and caring, makes your heart swell.
You feel a pang of guilt as you see the tiredness etched on his face, a reminder of how much heâs given for you, both physically and emotionally. Your legs, still trembling from the aftermath of the passion, had given up on you, leaving you reliant on him. The thought of him taking care of you, even in his weariness, makes you feel both grateful and a bit ashamed.
âHey,â you say softly, reaching out to gently touch his arm. âYou donât have to do this. I can manage on my own.â
Soonyoung looks up at you, his eyes softening as he smiles. âI want to,â he says quietly. âYou took care of me earlier, and now itâs my turn to take care of you. Besides, itâs kind of nice, being able to do this for you.â
You look him in the eye and sense the truth in his words. His warm, comforting smile belies the weariness that is evident in the lines on his face.Â
[...]
As you and Soonyoung lie together in bed, the room is quiet except for the soft rustling of the sheets and the occasional sigh from either of you. The memories of what just happened still lingers in the air, making both of you feel a bit shy and stunned.
As Soonyoung lays his head on your chest, you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. He sighs contentedly, his fingers lightly tracing patterns around your breast.Â
âSo,â he begins, his voice tinged with both surprise and a hint of playfulness, âwhen I hinted at what I wanted, I honestly didnât think you'd go for it. I was kind of... hoping, but also preparing for a rejection.â
You chuckle softly, your fingers running through his hair. âOh really? And why not?â
âWell, for one, youâre ridiculously hot. I didnât think youâd be that into it right off the bat.â
You giggle, feeling a rush of confidence. âOh, come on. Why wouldnât I? Youâre hot, and letâs be honest, you knew exactly what you were doing.â
âDamn, so you think Iâm hot, huh? And here I was thinking Iâd have to put in a little more effort.â He rises to look at you, but you make him lay again, your cheeks flushed.
âI canât believe we managed to go from âI doâ to âLetâs fuckâ in just a few days. We really donât waste any time, do we?â You say, grinning.Â
âYeah, I guess I underestimated how much Iâd resist you, but I knew I was in trouble from the moment we got married⌠I thought Iâd be a strong soldier, holding out a bit longer.â
He hums thinking.Â
âIâm surprised I managed to hold out for as long as I did.â he finishes.
You raise an eyebrow, a naughty smile playing on your lips. "Well, I guess youâre not as disciplined as you thought. Seems like you fell for me quicker than youâd like to admit.â
Soonyoungâs eyes sparkle. âYouâve got me completely hooked.â
You let out a dramatic sigh, your hand resting on his cheek. âPoor soldier. Captured by the enemy and all. What will you do now?â
He leans in, brushing his lips against yours in a tender kiss. "I guess Iâll just have to surrender to you completely.â
âEven the strongest can fall. And letâs be real, Iâm pretty good at making sure my soldiers surrender.â You shrugged, smirking.Â
He bursts into laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. âDamn, you really know how to make a guy feel like a total pushover.â
âI plan on keeping you hooked, you knowâwell, at least until the next time we have a âconversationâ like tonight."
âWell, if this is what marriage looks like, I think Iâm going to enjoy every minute of it.â
#seventeen headcanons#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt imagines#hoshi#hoshi smut#hoshi fluff#hoshi x reader#hoshi fanfic#hoshi x you#hoshi x y/n#kwon soonyoung#soonyoung smut#soonyoung x reader#svt soonyoung#soonyoung fluff#kwon hoshi#seventeen soonyoung#soonyoung scenarios#soonyoung imagines#soonyoung x you#soonyoung x y/n#soonyoung fanfic
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Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
#writing#creative writing#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#writing tips#writing advice#writers block#novel writing#fiction writing#writer#writers of tumblr
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â§Ë ¡ . đđđđđ đđđđđđ đđđđđđ
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
word count: 1.4k
summary: having a crush on a guy ten years older than you was already unconventional but him being your brothers best friend was the cherry on top
authors note: based of this request! please be gentle this is my first official written work on here so not everything may be accurate or perfect. feedback is appreciated and requests are open!
warnings: age gap (reader is 25, daniel is 35) brothers best friend, smut, unprotected sex, public sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, some dirty talk, oh and angst <3 â 18+ only minors please do not interact!
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You were twenty years old when you first started working for Mclaren as their social media manager. It was something you thought would never happen; neither was crushing on one of the drivers.
It was funny how you had met him first but he was now your brothers best friend and completely off limits.
That still didn't stop you from constantly flirting with him (which he would just laugh at) and after five years your crush has not gone away despite the relationships you have seen Daniel been in hoping one day that would be you at least to feel his lips on yours one time.
That would be a miracle to ever happen.
Now you were currently leaning against a balcony with Daniel pressed up against you kissing all over your neck while your fingers run through his hair, "Someone might walk out here, Danny." You manage to say as he spreads your legs placing you on his thigh.
"You want me to stop?" He asks genuinely pulling away, you guys may have ended up in this position after a few too many drinks but he was still aware of what was going on and didn't want to make you uncomfortable in any way.
I've been dreaming of this moment for years. Of course I don't want you to stop.
"NoâŚdon't want to stop." You whisper to him and his eyes look down at your lips, a look in his eyes that makes you think the feelings could be mutual. The next words to come out of his mouth were unexpected.
You thought it would always be you saying them first seeing as you dreamt of this moment a few times.
His forehead leans against yours. You could feel his breath on your skin, "I want to kiss you." He whispers close against your lips, his hands squeeze your hips.
You can't take your eyes off his lips when he asks that question so with a shaky breath you nod expecting the kiss to be fast but his hand caresses your cheek, his eyes falling on every little detail on your face: as if he wanted to memorize this exact moment.
His lips finally meet yours and you almost let out an embarrassing whimper after five years of finally feeling his lips on yours. Your arms snake around his neck while he presses your hips down onto his thigh causing you to let out a moan in which he groans wanting to hear more of you. And he would.
For a while the balcony is filled with sounds of your kisses and moans while you grind against his thigh and when you pull away you could swear there's a moment of sadness in his eyes, "Take meâŚright here. I need you Daniel." Your hands grab his jacket and drop it to the floor, "Do you want me?" You say softly pulling on his belt buckle.
I've wanted you for so long. Since the day we met.
"YesâŚfuck yeah I do." He groans when your lips find his neck and trail kisses down to his chest that had the first few buttons undone. He had to take control. He was putty in your hands but he wanted to taste you already.
Every single part of you.
He switches you back around so you are now leaning against the balcony again and he gets on his knees the sight alone has you wet and squeezing your legs only for him to separate them and lift your dress up, "Fucking hell, baby." He groans seeing that you have no underwear on.
Your hands grasped his hair, not caring if you were messing up the locks, âDaniel.â You moaned as he ran two fingers down your core, collecting your arousal.
He placed a light kiss on your thigh before slowly running his tongue through your folds giving you what you've been wanting. His tongue laps at your juices, circling around your clit as he sucks on it gently.
You were done for. You would never get tired of his lips and tongue exploring you and you hoped this would not just be a one time thing.
Your hands push on his head forcing him closer to you if that was even possible âFuck.â You groan as he inserts two fingers, pumping them slowly as he curls them inside you. Daniel would be the death of you the way his mouth and fingers were working on you. You need him inside you.
His mouth and fingers were working in sync, already bringing you to your orgasm; and you knew that you werenât going to last long. âShit, that feel so good.â You praised as his fingers sped up.
âOh God, Danielâ You whimper, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten as your pussy clenches around his fingers. âShit, DannyâŚI'm gonna cum.â You moan loudly as he increases his pace, sucking on your clit as if his life depended on it. He can't get enough of how you taste or how sexy you sound moaning his name coming out of your mouth.
It doesnât take long until you are a whimpering mess underneath his touch coming on his face. Your chest heaving as Daniel gently removed his fingers, sucking on them making sure to taste every last bit of you before coming up to kiss you, tasting yourself on him.
"Fucking christ." Daniel lets out a throaty chuckle as your hand rubs against his clothed cock that was clearly in need of some attention, âDanny please,â you whimper as you tug on his belt.
âPlease? What do you need, baby?â He teases as you undo his belt successfully. âPlease fuck me.â You moan into his ear and all his senses fly off the balcony finally hearing those words come from you.
He lifts your dress back up as you pull his dress pants down enough for him and he quickly lifts you up taking you against the wall beside the door that was at the entrance of the balcony. His hips slam against yours, giving you no time to adjust to his size but the pain quickly turns into pleasure quickly.
His large hand covers your mouth, muffling your moans as he grunts. âThis is what you've been wanting for five years?â He said in between breaths as your eyes rolled back into your head, head falling against the wall in pleasure.
âBeen dreaming of having my tongue all over your sweet pussy? Dreaming of me fucking you? Kissing you? Making that dream come true for you now, sweetheart" His words go straight to your pussy that clenches around his thick cock.
He pulls you in for a sloppy kiss muffling both of your moans as you hear footsteps inside the hall but they quickly disappear and Daniel pulls away, "I wanna hear you when you cum, baby. So fuckinâ perfect for me." He says pushing you harder against the wall with your legs holding him close against you.
âCum all over my cock, honey I know you want to.â
âDanielâfuck, Iâm gonna cum." His one hand supporting you and the other rubbing circles against your clit.
Your walls flutter against him as you come with a shudder, clenching around him tightly which has him groaning at the feeling, you bite down on his shoulder as his hips stutter against you before he comes inside of you.
Both of you stay that way in silence as you both try to catch your breaths before he slips out of you, he zips up his pants before helping you out with your dress adjusting it back to how it was.
Your heart was racing still trying to process what just happened but your mind had a million thoughts at the moment waiting in anticipation for what Daniel was gonna say or if you should speak up first.
This was your chance to tell him your feelings.
"Daniel, Iâ."
"This was goodâŚletting out all that tension. Took us five years but it was worth it and now we can move on, right? No one's gotta know about this. It'll be our dirty little secret. Yeah?" The words just spit out of his mouth so casually as if they werent a complete stab to your chest.
You wanted to cry. You swore the smile he had on his face was fake. His eyes looked distant. You want to see past this and just confess your feelings.
But before you can the door opens to the balcony and you both straighten up, "There you guys are!" Your brother Luka walks out and looks between the both of you.
"Everything alright here?"
You can't say anything so Daniel speaks up, "Oh yeah! Me and sunshine over here were just taking in the view from this place. What'd we miss?" He asks and your brother pulls him back into the party giving you one last look, guilt ridden all over his face but you couldn't see that as tears filled your eyes. He left you there feeling like what he had said earlier.
A dirty little secret.
#f1 amour works#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo smut#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo fanfic#daniel ricciardo one shot#daniel ricciardo blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x reader
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the one where ollie lives alone (cl.16 x bearman!reader)
pairing: mainly ollie bearman x oldersister!reader for this part but there's a plenty of charles leclerc x bearman!reader here and there!
word count: 4.2k
warnings: a whole lot of stupidity mentions of death, seemingly angsty in some parts (you'll see what I mean) this might be one of my favourite parts I've written for any series ever đ it's so dumb but so funny (according to the people who proofread for me!) as always let me know what you think! your comments are always appreciated. happy reading! mimi đ¤
taglist: @arieslost @iamapersonwholikesunicorns
âJesus Y/N, what the hell is in here?â Ollie wheezed as he staggered past you, arms straining under the weight of the box he was carrying. You rolled your eyes, âYouâre so dramatic Ols, itâs literally just makeup.âÂ
âIs that the last box ma belle?â You turned and saw Charles in the doorway, staring at you fondly. âMhmm! Everything else is in the van.â You held your arms out to him and he crossed the room, pulling you in by your waist and kissing you softly, âI canât believe youâre finally coming home with meâŚâ You smiled, looping your arms round his neck, âMe either,â He booped your nose with his own, a loud cough making the two of you jump apart as Ollie leaned against the doorframe, one eyebrow raised, âAre you two done being gross?â âShut up dummy.â You punched his arm as you walked past him towards the front door. You inhaled deeply, it felt strange but exciting to be moving out and into Charlesâ apartment.Â
Behind you, Charles watched Ollie stare at you, looking like he wanted to say something. He quietly padded up behind the younger driver and nudged his arm, âAre you going to miss her?â Ollie was startled but quickly scoffed, âHmm? No way!â Charles gave him a pointed look, âI get the whole place to myself! I canât wait!â Charles gave him a smile and punched his arm gently, âWeâre only ten minutes away if you need us.â Ollie laughed, âThanks but I can manage!âÂ
⯠incident 1 - the dishwasher âš.âż Â As it turned out, Ollie could in fact, not manage. Mere hours after youâd left him, you found yourself sprinting back up the stairs, cursing the old apartment building for still not having an elevator. You reached the floor of your old apartment and checked the door to see if it was open, turning the handle and entering you called out, âOllie? I got your text!â You poked your head into each room as you went, searching for him, âWhatâs the emerâŚgenâŚcyâŚâ You trailed off as you reached the kitchen, Ollie staring up at you with wide eyes, crouching next to the dishwasher that was⌠pouring out soapy bubbles? âOllie!â âI think I made a mistake.â He said dryly, suspiciously poking some of the bubbly foam next to his shoulder, âYeah, no shit Sherlock.â You said sarcastically, thinking of a solution, âYou put dish soap in didnât you?â He nodded sheepishly, âThere were no dishwasher tablets left so I just⌠thought on my feet?â You facepalmed and sighed, âOkay well, we need to- DONâT OPEN IT!â
You looked on in horror as Ollie pulled open the door and a torrent of soapy warm foam spilled out and all over the kitchen floor, creeping further into the centre of the room, was it⌠growing? You looked over at your brother to see him staring back at you with comically wide eyes. âSo thatâs why we donât do that.â You said, face deadpan. Ollie giggled nervously, âOops?â A snort from behind you had you turning round to see Charles filming the whole thing, âOh some help you are babe.â Charles coughed to cover up his laughter as he put his phone away and entered the foamy bubbly monstrosity that was now the kitchen. âSomewhere under here thereâs a bucket and mop.â âOllie?â âYeah?â âYouâre going in.âÂ
⯠incident 2 - french toast âš.âż A few days had passed since the dishwasher incident and you dozed in Charlesâ arms, enjoying the lazy Sunday morning sun slipping through the bedroom curtains. The previous nightâs activities had left you a little worn out and with no plans for the day, you had wordlessly agreed that a cosy day in bed was just what you needed. A shrill sound pierced the air and jolted both you and Charles awake. You scrambled to find your phone, as Charles groaned, hands rubbing his face as your hand came up to feel how quickly your heart was pounding. You glanced at the screen as your hand met your phone and you scowled, Charles rubbing your back and doing his best not to laugh as he saw who was calling you, âOllie Bearman, you better have a damn good reason for calling me this early on a Sunday morning.â There was a pause, âItâs eleven oâclock?-â âThatâs not the point!â You sighed, âWhat do you need?â âWell, you see⌠I have a question.â âGo ahead,â âSo I was making french toast right? And I followed the recipe exactly as you wrote it out! Right amount of eggs, milk and sugar.â âSo whatâs the issue?â Ollie sighed, âIt wonât cook but it smells a bit smokeyâŚâ You pinched the bridge of your nose, âThen turn it down?â âI donât know how!â âTurn the hob dial down dummy!â Ollie went silent for a second, âDid you say hob dial?â Alarm bells started ringing in your head, âWhy would I adjust the hob when Iâm using the toaster.â You froze for a moment before pulling your phone away from your ear and putting it on speaker, unable to believe what you were hearing, âIâm sorry, what did you just say?â Charles gave you a concerned look, sitting even closer to you and wrapping one arm around you while the other rubbed your knee comfortinglyÂ
âI said, Iâm using the toaster.â You stared at your phone, mouth slightly agape, âYouâre making french toast in the toaster?â âCorrect.â Charles snorted and choked back a huge guffaw of laughter as the hand heâd placed on your knee came up to cover his mouth, his face turning pink with how hard he was laughing, âOllie! French toast isnât made in the toaster!â âItâs called french toast!â You pressed the video button and changed the call to facetime. Your brother stared back at you, looking rather dishevelled, âThatâs a rather deceiving name if you ask me!â You groaned, facepalming, âYou make it in a frying panâ Charles was no help next to you as he wheezed silently, grabbing his own phone to record the conversation for later use and hilarity. âWell how was I supposed to know that?!â Ollie was indignant as he pleaded with you through the screen, âOLLIE! Youâve watched me make it hundreds of times!â He pouted through the screen letting out a little âhmmphâ âWell if you hadnât abandoned me, we wouldnât have this issue would we!â You rolled your eyes, âFor the last time, I did not abandon you! I live a 10 minute walk away!âÂ
You sighed before laughing at your brother lovingly, âAlright then silly, head over for lunch and Iâll show you how to make french toast the proper way.â Charles snorted once more and you both burst into giggles as your brother scowled at you, âStop laughing at me!â Ollie whined, you caught your breath and wiped your eyes, heart warm at the silly moment you knew would turn into a fond memory, âUhhhh Y/N?â You looked back at the screen to where Ollie was turning the camera round to show you a sparking, smoking toaster, âI donât think it should be doing thatâŚâ You cursed as Charles scrambled out of bed, pulling mismatching socks on as you grabbed a hoodie, âChange of plans Ols, weâre on our way!âÂ
⯠incident 3 - Gerald âš.âż Things were peaceful for a couple of days after the french toast debacle - something you were more than thankful for, wrapped up in your perfect little bubble with Charles. Of course you continued to text Ollie, but there had been no major crisis that required your immediate attention. Until there was.Â
It had been one of those long lazy days spent at home, until Charles had announced he was taking you to dinner and told you to get all dressed up. Youâd slipped on one of his favourite numbers and heâd shown his appreciation more than once, sliding his hands round your hips and squeezing while you waited to be seated, pulling your chair out for you to sit down and sliding his hands down your arms once you were seated, moving his chair round the table to sit closer to you so he could place a slow smooch against your neck. You hummed happily as he fed you a mouthful of his dish, âI knew youâd like it!â You smiled at him, âI like most things you suggestâŚâ He bit his lip as his eyes darkened slightly, âIs that so?â You nodded, eyelashes fluttering as your lids close, âWhat if I suggested something a little⌠more intimate?â You giggled, picking up your wine glass to take a sip and hide your face, too shy to keep the eye contact, âI wouldnât mi-â Your phone blaring cut you off and you gasped, rushing to put your glass down as other customers in the restaurant glared at you, Charles chuckling quietly next to you, his hand resting on your thigh and rubbing soothingly.Â
âOllie I swear to go-â âHeâs dead.â You heard your little brother sniffle and adrenaline kicked in, âOllie, whoâs dead?â You kept your voice as calm and quiet as possible, you heard him sniffle once more before a sob left his mouth. That was all you needed to hear before you were grabbing your clutch and nodding towards the door. Charles tilted his head and you mouthed your brotherâs name. He nodded understandingly and rushed to pay the bill before you were both scurrying back to his car. As soon as you were buckled in you put your phone on speaker, âOllie⌠Honey⌠what happened?â Charles also looked panicked as he heard Ollieâs choked sob, âHe was fine and then he just⌠wasnât.â âWho Ollie, whoâs not fine?â You pleaded, âGe-â You cursed as the call cut out, âItâs okay ma belle, his phone probably just died, weâre almost there okay?â You nodded, hands nervously twisting and wringing together in your lap. Charles eyes darted to your hands for a second before looking back at the road, one hand leaving the steering wheel to gently hold your hand in his. You looked at him and squeezed, a wordless thank you.Â
As soon as Charles pulled up, you were racing out of the car, slipping your heels off and carrying them in your hand as you sprinted barefoot up the stairs of the apartment building. You reached the door and rang the bell, knocked, called his name, anything you could think of to attract his attention. The door opened slowly and it wasnât Ollie that appeared but Arthuer Leclerc, looking ever so sombre, âArthur?â Your eyes were panicked as you looked him over for any injuries or obvious isses. He simply held his hand out to indicate to you to enter and you slowly stepped through the door, âWhereâs Ollie?â Arthur nodded, head down towards the ground and the panic rose in your chest again, âHeâs in the living room, saying his goodbyes.â âGoodbyes to who?â You paced down the hallway and burst into the living room, your jaw dropping at the sight you saw.
Ollie stood in front of the coffee table that was lit with candles, dressed in a suit and your brain suddenly registered that Arthur had been dressed the same way. You were even more concerned when you saw Arthurâs girlfriend fully dressed in black, standing next to Ollie with a comforting hand on his shoulder. You approached him slowly, arms opening and your expression softening as he turned to you with a red splotchy nose and red-rimmed eyes, he fell into your arms and you patted his back, gently shushing him, âWhat happened, Ols?â âHeâs gone.â Ollie croaked out, âWhoâs gone honey?â Your voice was gentle as you stroked his hair, the same way you did when he was younger and couldnât sleep, âGerald.â âOh.â You said softly, âWas he a friend?â Ollie nodded and you held back a wince as he rubbed his snotty nose onto your shoulder, knowing he needed you, âHe was such a good friend.â You led him over to the couch and sat down, his head falling onto your shoulder as you continued to play with his hair.Â
You were aware of Charles appearing in the doorway and you gave him a brief smile, before turning your attention back to Ollie, âWould I know this friend?â Ollie nodded, his sobs quieting to sniffles, âYou were his friend before I was.â Your stomach dropped as you frantically thought of who Ollie could possibly be referring to, feeling guilty that your mind was blank, âThe funeral was lovely.â Arthurâs girlfriend nodded solemnly, a hand over her heart as the other hand came up to dab her eyes with a tissue, âThe funeral has already happened?â You were confused as Arthur nodded, âJust before you got here.â Your eyes shot to Charles who was just as concerned and confused as you, âWait, the funeral was here?â Ollie scoffed, âWell where else would it have been?â âWait Ollie,â You held his face in front of yours, âWhy was the funeral in your apartment?â âHe wanted to be remembered in the place he was most happyâŚâ Ollie sighed wistfully, his head turning to look at the coffee table once more.Â
You squinted, focusing on a shape amidst the flickering candles and once more your mouth gaped as you stood up and stormed over to the other side of the room. âOllie. Bearman.â You gritted your teeth, âDonât tell me that this was all about a fucking cactus?â âSucculent!â Ollie snapped at you, wiping away a tear from under his eye, âHe was a succulent,â He whispered as he looked down at the floor. Charles broke first, snorting in the doorway and you watched as he did his best to choke down his laughter, coughing and shaking his head, you watched as he excused himself from the room for a moment to force a solemn expression back onto his face. He returned but you could see the laughter threatening to bubble over as he took in the sight before him. Ollie, his younger brother and his younger brotherâs girlfriend all dressed in black and in mourning for a succulent that sat sadly on the coffee table and looked like it had been watered a little too much.
âIâm glad you got here,â Arthur spoke up suddenly, âOh goodie, do tell me why.â Your tone was sarcastic. âWeâre about to do the funeral exit.â Charles was holding in his laughter so much that he now had tears streaming down his face and Arthur patted his back with a âthere, thereâ and handed him a tissue. âArthurâs girlfriend has agreed to sing the exit song and weâre so thankful she has.â âWho is we Ollie?â You brow furrowed as you looked around the living room, âI-IâŚâ You sighed. âGo ahead.â You all stood still, heads to the floor as Arthurâs girlfriend launched into a rendition of âMemoryâ from Cats, âMiiiiiiidniiiiiight, not a sound from the paaaaavemeeeent.â Charles quietly crossed the room to stand next to you, nudging you gently with his shoulder, âInteresting date night hmm?â You growled, âDonât you dare encourage him.â Ollie approached you, âDo you want to say your final goodbyes?â âOllie, why would I care about a succulent?â He gasped, âItâs Gerald!â âYes Ollie so you said, but why would I care that itâs name is Gerald?â Ollie shook his head, âDonât even recognise your own friendâŚâ Arthur tutted and even his girlfriend gave you a disapproving look as she continued wailing in the background, you mentally made a note to apologise to the neighbours the next time you were here during normal sociable hours.Â
You rolled your eyes at your younger brother and stepped forward to âpay your respectsâ to the succulent. Your eyes narrowed, âOliver. James. Bearman. Thatâs MY fucking succulent!â âIt was nice of you to wear black.â He continued, nodding towards your dress and Charles blazer and pants, ignoring your exclamation. âWe were on a date!â You screeched, Charles once again powerless to help in any way, instead just collapsing with laughter. You growled as you lunged for your brother, âOllie, I swear there will be a funeral tonight.â You hissed, âYours!â
⯠incident 4 - spiderman âš.âż After everyone had said their goodbyes to Gerald, he had been unceremoniously dumped into the rubbish bin and that had been the end of it. Ollie had promised to buy you a new succulent and had learned that they did not, in fact, require watering every day, and you now forever had âMemoryâ stuck in your head. Once more, peace had been restored but you doubted it would last much longer.Â
Your theory was proved correct when a few days later, your phone rang. An unknown number. You ignored it at first, all too aware of strange reporters and crazy fans who would do anything to get closer to Charles. You simply went back to reading your book, until your phone rang again. It was an unknown number still and you grumbled, rolling your eyes and answering quite snappily, âYes? Hello?â The voice on the other end of the line seemed almost taken aback, âUmm excuse me is this Y/N Bearman?â You sighed, âYes it is, no I wonât give you a quote and yes Charles is great in bed, goodbye!-â âNo wait please! Iâm from downstairs! You live in 10B yes?â You stopped as your finger hovered over the end call button and brought the phone back up to your ear, âUhhhh I used to, yes, can I ask why?â âOh, well thereâs a man trying to climb onto your balcony and I was concerned thatâs all.â Your stomach flipped, your mind rushing to thoughts of someone breaking in when your little brother was home alone, âIâll come over now! My younger brother still lives there.â You raced to grab your keys and jumped into your car, deciding to get there as soon as possible rather than walk. Who was stupid enough to break in in broad daylight? You briefly considered calling the police but you were sure the idiot would be gone by the time you got there. Your car pulled up and you craned your neck to look up at the balcony of your old apartment. Your eyes widened and you gasped as you spotted that there was indeed a man hanging off of your balcony, âHoly shit,â You mumbled, scrabbling to open the door and race towards the apartment complex. The closer you got you squinted as you realised the hoodie looked ever so familiar. âOllie?!â You yelled up and shrieked as your brother looked down at you, giggling nervously as his feet kicked back and forth as he desperately searched for a footing, âWhat the fuck are you doing?â âUhhh I can explain!â He yelled back to you, âH-hold on, Iâm on my way up!â You hurried up the stairs, once more cursing the lack of elevator as you finally reached your floor, unlocking the door and rushing through the apartment to french doors out onto the balcony.Â
âWhat the fuck were you thinking?â You screeched, leaning over the balcony and diving to grab him and pull him up, âOllie thatâs so fucking dangerous!â âLook!â You heard a kid shout from the street below, âItâs Spiderman!â You scoffed and rolled your eyes, "He wishes!" You paused for a moment to yell back, before resuming hauling your brother over the apartment balcony. âHow did you even get up here? Why are you up here?â Ollie chuckled, panting slightly as he finally threw one leg over the ledge, âFunny story actuallyâŚâ You raised an eyebrow, âWell please share,â âI forgot my keyâŚâ âI-â In your shock you almost let go of him and his scream attracted the attention of yet more passers by below, laughing and pointing at the odd sight they were witnessing. You smiled down awkwardly before turning back to Ollie once more, âWhy didnât you call me?â Ollie whined as you began to tell him off, âBecause I didnât want you to find outâŚâ âOh so this was a better idea- Ah!â You squeaked as Ollie tumbled over the ledge and onto the balcony. Landing on your stomach in a tangle of limbs, âYour foot is up my butt!â âYeah well it wouldnât be if you hadnât been being stupid! Anyway, get your elbow out of my eye!â âOh Iâm sorry, I was making sure I wasnât about to fall to my death!â You shoved Ollie off of you and led there on your back, panting, Ollie much the same,
âFor the record, you are the shittiest spiderman there is.â âThanks, thatâs really boosting my confidence.â âGlad I could help.âÂ
⯠the resolution âš.âż âWe need more protection.â You announced loudly, stepping into the kitchen âExcuse me?!â Charles choked on his protein shake, cheeks turning pink and you heard Max snort on the phone, âGod, no! You pervs⌠I meant like, we need protection from Ollie and his dumbass incidents.â Max cackled, âCharles has sent me the videos, I was dying at the dishwasher incident.â You groaned, crossing the room to stand next to Charles who sat at the breakfast bar. He grinned as you rolled your eyes at Max who you could now see was on facetime. âYeah, well Iâm turning grey way sooner than I should!â You joked. You chatted with Max a little longer before Charles signed off with the promise of joining him to game later.Â
You sighed, leaning against Charlesâ side, âWhatâs wrong ma belle?â You took another breath and paused, âIâm just⌠worried about OllieâŚâ Charles put his arm around you and rubbed your back soothingly, âWhat has you so worried mon amour?â His expression was warm and you knew he wasnât angry with you, rather genuinely curious, âI just feel like⌠maybe he isnât ready to live on his own yet?â Charles nodded at you and you took that as a signal to continue, âI mean, heâs always had me there to help him and I know someday heâs gonna have to get used to me not being there but I just feel like right nowâŚâ You trailed off with a sigh, âHe still needs you.â Charles finished and you gave him a grateful smile and nodded. âBut, I donât wanna leave you. I love living with you and having you around and I love just... living life with you. Am I selfish for not wanting to give that up?â You bit your lip, moving away from Charles to pace the kitchen floor. Charles shook his head with a fond smile,Â
âMa belle⌠Youâre not selfish for wanting to do something for yourself and Iâm proud of you for wanting to pursue that, especially since itâs me you want,â he slid his arms around you as you stepped next to him and dragged you backwards to him, making you giggle, âbut I also know that you want to be there for family and I can understand that, you guys are close, the same way that me and Thur are, probably even closer.â You hummed, leaning back against him, âThank you for being so understanding.â You sighed, âNow I just need to work out how to fix itâŚâ Charles smiled and turned you round in his arms, nudging your nose with his, âWell⌠we have a spare room?âÂ
Which is how you found yourself hauling boxes upstairs a week later, âJesus Ollie, what the hell is in here?â You wheezed out and Ollie simply smiled at you, patting you on the head as he walked past you, arms empty, âYouâre so dramatic Y/N, itâs literally just a few bits.â You poked your tongue out at him as he mimicked your words from just a couple of months ago. âIs that it mate?â Charles head appeared from behind the apartment door and Ollie nodded, as you finally conquered the stairs and planted the box down on the hallway floor. âNow letâs go over the rules one more time Ols.â He sighed, âFineâŚâ âRule one?â You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow, âNo dish soap in the dishwasherâŚâ He grumbled, Charles chuckled, âRule two?â âNo cooking without supervision.â Ollie recited as you nodded, âDonât worry, that rule applies to Charles too.â âHuh?!â âShush baby, rule three?â You turned back to Ollie, âNo watering the succulents unless instructed, no matter how sorry I feel for them.â You nodded, âI am not having a repeat of Gerald and the⌠funeral.â You shuddered, as Charles snorted before asking, âRule four?â âAlways call one of you two if I forget my keysâŚâ âAnd?â You raised an eyebrow, âNo climbing balconies under any circumstances.â You clapped your hands together and smiled, âGood! Well I canât think of anything else, can you?â
You turned to Charles who shook his head and Ollie who just shrugged, âIn that case, letâs go! Pizza for dinner sound good?â The three of you walked into the apartment and the door to the hallway swung shut, your arguments about pizza toppings muffled through the door, but the happiness and love you felt for each other not dulled in the slightest.
#mimi.writes#bear hugs series ËĘđ§¸ÉË#f1 fic#f1 series#f1 fluff#f1 crack#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#ollie bearman fluff#ollie bearman fic#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#f1 oneshot#f1 fanfic
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what do you think about brat!reader that has a fixtation on pulling jaehyuns hair during sex but since he enlisted, brat!reader couldnât do it because of his short hair and has been bugging him about it through the phone whenever he calls to check in on her and when he comes back home during his break, brat!reader is still pissed about it but jaehyun is in a loving way annoyed with her brattiness and puts her in her place ( if you donât mind could you write something along the lines of this too đ¤đ¤đ¤)
Completely Yours
SUMMARYÂ |Â Jaehyun gives you unconditional love before he enlists.
PAIRINGSÂ |Â Jaehyun x Reader
RATING | Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+
GENRE |Â husband!Jaehyun, soon-to-be-dad!Jaehyun, smut, established relationship
CONTENT/WARNINGSÂ | profanity/strong language, filthy dirty thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it up yaâll!), fingering, oral sex (female receiving/male giving), dirty talk, praise kink, pet names, vaginal penetration
LENGTHÂ |Â 3,543 words
TAGLIST |Â â
NETWORKS |Â Â @k-vanity @ksmutsociety
AUTHORâS NOTEÂ |Â Hi anon, I know it's not exactly what you requested but I did include a hair-tugging kink in there lol. I hope you still like it regardless. I finally managed to finish this and sure, it's not as long as the other Jaehyun fics I've written, I still hope you all like it. My brain has not been braining for this fic and it has drove me crazy but I really wanted to get this posted before Jae enlisted. I also want to thank @caelesjjk for the gorgeous banner! Please reblog, like, comment, I love you all and I'm gonna miss Jaehyun for the next 18 months. đ
"Come here, babe," Jaehyun's deep voice is sweet like honey. He's sitting up in bed, blankets over his bottom half and propped up against the headboard, relaxed. His fingers are crooked, signaling you over. "I wanna do somethin'."
There's a devilish curve to his lips, hinting at some mischief. With how hot and cold he's been this last weekâall touchy one moment, ignoring you the nextâit makes you hesitate in walking over. You eye him warily, watching him coo at you. "What's gotten into you? What do you want, exactly?"
"Just want my wife," Jaehyun replies.
You crawl your way between his legs, knees planted on either side of his thighs. "I'm still mad at you. I hope you know that."
"Still?" His hands fit themselves at your waist perfectly. A kiss finds itself placed right below your ear. Another at your jaw, then to the side of your nose. "Baby, it's only the military. You know I have to go. I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough," your tone is accusatory and petulant; he's aware of this as his fingers dance against the fabric of your silk slip nightgown, stopping just as the hemline hits the junction between your inner thigh and hip. You frown, running your hand through his now short hair. "I miss the longer hair already."
"Gonna miss tugging on it during sex, is that it?" he snorts, blowing raspberries into your neck as he squeezes the globes of your ass with his big hands. You jolt up in response, barely able to smother out the surprised noise from your mouth.
"Y-yeah! I like when it's long...and I get to yank on it and make you make pretty noises. No more stupid buzzcut," you groan, doing your best not to think about what you were going to be without for a whole two years.
"Taeyong's girlfriend didn't complain when he cut his hair," Jaehyun chuckled deeply, the sound vibrating through his chest. "It'll grow back real quick and then I can go back to giving you head while you hold it and tug on it however you like."
âThatâs Taeyongâs girlfriend,â you whined. "But you promise, Jae?"
"I promise," Jaehyun bites into the joint between your shoulder and neck and then soothes over it with his warm tongue. He hums, "Time will go by so fast. And, anyway..." his lips are brushing against yours. He still looks so good with the short hair. So handsome when he smiles. His words are full of sureness as he caresses your belly, "you have a piece of me already."
Your heart squeezes at this because he's right. Inside of you, there is already a small fragment of him living and growing, something physical for you to always cherish. "How did you find out?"
His arms wrap around you, snug and warm. Your lips mold against his and he's drinking you in. "I found the test when I was getting the emergency kit before we left for our trip. Why didn't you tell me, baby?"
"I don't know. I⌠I was nervous. Not about having a baby with you. I'm afraid of...afraid of being by myself without you," the grip around you grows tighter at your confession. "How can I get through the next 18 months without you? Who is going to help me when I get fat and angry with hormones?" You laugh, watery at the sudden sting of tears brimming behind your eyes. The words start to flood past your lips now that you've confessed. "Who will hold my hair back for me when I barf, or massage my aching feet at the end of a long day?"
"I'm always a phone call away, baby. All you have to do is reach out," he hugs you tighter, pressing his lips against the side of your throat. "The guys are always here too, Taeyong's girlfriend and our family. Don't feel like you have to go through any of this alone."
"Promise me you'll call every day? After your shifts? Come home during your breaks?" your hands fidget against his shoulders as they dip beneath your slip, gripping at his bare waist, eager for him. His hips buck into the air a little. You're breathless. "Please?"
"Whatever you want," there's a tentative motion as he strokes a line up your spine. His hands cup your cheeks. "I'll give you everything."
With the tip of his tongue, he nudges your lips apart and slips past. Jaehyun deepens the kiss by nibbling the corner of your lip, slipping into your mouth as you gasp at his little bites, swallowing his moans when you wiggle around in his lap, grinding down slowly.
One thing you and him do very well is kissing. You used to kiss until your mouths would begin to tingle with numbness and you'd have to separate to catch a breath before diving right back in.
Jaehyun tastes the same. His kisses are addictive, hot and demanding like the man himself. "Let me love you in the meantime. Let me spoil my gorgeous wife until the second I leave."
"Jaehyun, the guys are outside," your husband hasn't kept his hands to himself, palms drifting lower to hold the swell of your ass as you attempt to sit up and off him. But the man isn't having it.
"I'm sure the guys are all at the lake or goofing off somewhere," Jaehyun muttered, his lips dragging down the line of your throat to leave marks as he pleases.
"Can't believe you invited the guys on our trip...ah," your complaints weaken out as he gently teases your nipples through the fabric of the slip, touching the wet bud of the other until you start to squirm. "Ah! Babe, knock it off," you squeak, glancing at the door. Your knees tighten their grip at his sides.
"Can't help myself. Got a hot, pregnant wife sittin' on me," it's meant to be a joke but all it does is send your mind on an out-of-control tangent. His eyes drop. "Now, are you going to take care of the problem, or will I need to do it myself?"
"Not my problem that you popped a boner," a squeal of surprise passes from you when he rolls you onto your back, switching your position easily. There's something hungry, unbridled and impatient in Jaehyun's eyes as he regards you. You flush at his heavy gaze and spread your legs so he can nestle further between your thighs. "Jae."
"What does my sweet, gorgeous wife want?" his thumbs slide across your nipples as he takes a deep breath.
"I...fuck, Jae," you huff and grind up against his crotch. Your throat feels like it's tightening. Heat pools in your tummy as the flush moves further down, towards your tits, neck. "I want your mouth."
"Good thing I'm hungry, too,â he smirks.
"Jaehyun," you snap at his teasing, arching when he pulls down the straps and slides the nightgown down your frame.
 "Can't wait to taste you," the bottom hem goes as far as your middle before bunching. A bite to your nipple has you whining, trying to muffle the noises by biting the knuckle of your thumb. "Lift yourself up a little so I can get this out of my way."
Your panties join the crumple on the floor. Then, you spread your legs so that one wraps itself around his shoulder while the other is lifted up and set in the crook of his elbow. His hands lay flat on your belly, right above your pelvis. He nips and kisses all the soft, unmarred skin that he's familiar with. Your heart begins to flutter, making you tingle down below.
"I can't believe that I'll miss you being all round with my baby," Jaehyun murmurs against your stomach. Your body aches for him as the days he has to leave start to come close. There's still time, but that won't matter soon when the separation will set in.
"At least you'll be home during your breaks," you gulp and your head dips back. A light kiss is placed directly on your clit. "That'll make me feel a little better. We'll see you and you'll spoil the hell out of me with your undying love and affection."
"Exactly. The time will be fast, so let me enjoy the moments I still have with you," Jaehyun slides your labia apart and licks a broad strip from your clit to your core. "Mhm. So damn perfect, it tastes good, too."
You squeeze his arm tightly and gasp, his breath is hot and making your whole body tingle with sensitivity as you writhe against the sheets, and he takes this as a signal to keep eating you out.
The long length of his tongue darts inside your cunt as he swirls the tip over the sides. He goes deeper, spreading you wider for his convenience and flicks at a sensitive part that has your legs tensing. He watches, with pleasure, how you shiver when he curls his tongue upward. Then, he presses right under your hood, applying a relentless pressure to the aching spot that has you trembling. The muffled and delicious gasps and whines of ecstasy are music to his ears, as are the satisfied moans you make every now and then when his lips engulf your clit, the vibrations that shudder through the sensitive organ adding to the intensity.
His hand continued to caress your belly. The reminder that a life was slowly forming in you both warms him and makes his throat clench at the same time. He will miss it. Miss your swollen belly, your changing figure, your shifting moods, and cravings, and how his little spitfire will get all hormonal on him.
Jaehyun retracts the point of his tongue from inside and replaces it with two of his fingers. A continuous stream of arousal slips from his digits when he sinks in. He thumbs the side of your engorged clitoris as he pushes into you as slow as his body would allow. There were times he wasn't willing to take it slow, was almost rough, but now was not one of them. He only wanted to hear you fall apart before his departure and milk it for all it's worth.
Fingers moving expertly in you, he moves up to kiss your breast, taking the other nipple into his mouth. His tongue swipes across the protruding nub in a circular motion, pinning the pebble with the point, as his other hand continues to stroke you in perfect harmony. Jaehyun pinches your nipple, lashing the hard, reddening, little peak until you moan at him, back arching and your knees knocking his shoulders.
"What else do you want, my love?" Jaehyun breathes, curling his fingers. "Tell me."
"Jae," you breathed out.
âTell me, babe. Come on, use that pretty voice of yours,â Jaehyun coaxed.
âInside!â you gasped, your voice barely a whisper.
"Inside? Yeah?" he murmurs. He laps a bead of your cream from the corner of his lips. Aroused, your nipples stand firm as he thumbs them again.
"Put your cock in me," your nails drag a line over his shoulder. "Make love to me."
"Damn, my baby's so impatient," the tone in his voice, all rugged and husky from not saying a word until now, goes straight to the center of your core. The slight quaking that makes itself present in his legs goes unseen to you.
Jaehyun captures you with a brief yet searing kiss. You hum with delight, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, holding on as he presses his lips to yours. You nudge his nose with the side of yours, offering a smile when he looks into your eyes. The moment lingers for several seconds with him observing you as you catch your breath.
"Tell me," Jaehyun touches his forehead to your collarbone, nuzzling his head on your skin as he feels your pussy constrict around him. He flips his head and kisses where your shoulder meets the collar. "Tell me how you want it."
"Love me, babe. Please," you whisper, eyes meeting him. The head of his cock pushes into you just enough for him to rock deeper in and stretch you slowly. He drags his length through your swollen pussy, slipping in and out to coax himself hard again and again, always returning to his place inside of you, opening and filling your throbbing heat, molding your softness and wetness around his hard cock.
A ragged exhale leaves his lungs as Jaehyun runs his hand down the outside of your leg, clutching your ankle in order to wrap around him. You wiggle against his torso and then rest your leg higher up along the center of his back, knee nudging his tail bone, wanting him deeper inside of you, rolling your hips and chasing the high he knows that you desperately need. Jaehyun rewards you for it by sliding in more, up to the root.
"Oh, shit!" you curse and tighten around him.
He's silent; he loves having sex with you, but there is no room to talk when all you can hear are the squelch of his thrusts and the rickety noise made when his cock enters your throbbing sex and his heavy grunts.
"Almost there?" Jaehyun is quite close, breathing heavily as his skin starts to shimmer in the sunlight.
He pushes inside of you until his hips knock your own. He circles his pelvis, massaging your clit with his dick. The pressure on the swollen nub has you whimpering, struggling to meet his movements until it starts to sting and ache from the constant stimulation and you begin to move away, but he stops the motion with one of his big hands splayed on your hip and holds you steady.
âJae!â you cried out.
"Hm. Is this what you want? You want this?" he groans, rocking his hips, punctuating the word with another nudge of his cock against you.
A yes bubbles from you, the word leaving your mouth followed by the most desperate moan when the swollen glands hit just the right spot. The ridges on his pelvic bone brush along the top of your slit and bump your clit each time his hips rut forward. The thickness of his penis is evident as he repeatedly pushes and pushes until you take every inch inside.
"Gonna cum?" the man mutters in his most raspiest tone. "It's okay to cum," he grunts, pounding into you harder than before. "Gonna love you the entire time...even if it takes me all night."
You sob with delight as a flash of electricity moves from your pelvis to the very top of your scalp. It was white behind your closed eyes as a shattering pleasure moved down the middle of you. "Ah! Shit. Oh, Jaehyun!"
A single moan escapes his parted lips, sounding strangled and wrecked, before Jaehyun catches and swallows it. He moans it deep into your mouth with one last hard shove, the final shove of his cock. You feel the burst and heat spreading inside. He makes a beautiful face, gasping with the sensation that overtakes him and you catch his orgasm just in time. It's euphoria the way his expression, eyebrows upturned, lips slightly opened. He moans out a gasp and throws his head back, full and handsome, before tipping his chin and pressing his forehead against yours.
You touch his jawline lightly with a fingertip and he opens his eyes to look into yours, finding those crinkles in the corners. The sweat is coating his skin and you admire the red that paints his cheeks and lips. You reach up and run a gentle hand over the skin there, down his chest, before finally letting it settle over his rapidly thumping heartbeat.
"You've made me a complete mess," you huff out with laughter, full of warmth. The light-hearted sound makes a smile appear on Jaehyun's face.
âDonât worry,â Jaehyun chuckled, âI plan on fixing it for you in a minute. Think you can handle another round?â
"Definitely."
Some months later
"Look at my little princess getting all big," Jaehyun cooed from the tablet screen in your hands. "Daddy can't wait to be home."
"Oh, you care more about your daughter than your wife now, huh?" you situate the phone on the phone stand so that you could bounce the baby in your lap, wiping her chin after the last of her suckling your breast. It was close to time for her to nap, the lightness in the tone of her fussing notifying you.
"I love both my girls. I can't wait to see you both," he mutters, his gaze softening at the two of you.
"We both miss you," you coo, standing to pace about the room with the infant at your chest. There was no stopping the fond look that passed onto your face. He'd been a daddy for three months, was lucky to be there for your labor, and held his beautiful baby girl for the first time in the delivery room. From that moment, your heart had never been fuller. "Here, honey, say hi to daddy."
The phone was in position so the small baby girl could be seen in your arms, waving at the camera with her fist.
"That's daddy, yeah, that's him! That's daddy," you whispered sweetly, resting a kiss on the downy hair atop her tiny head as she babbled. "Say 'hi!'"
"Daddy will be home soon in a few hours," he says, his free hand raising in a wave to the phone. "Then, daddy can hug and kiss his little princess for real. All good in the nursery? Do I need to bring anything home with me?"
"No, the room is finally fully finished, thanks to the family and the guys. No toys needed, no blankets or clothes," you beam. "But... you can pick up her a few diapers."Â
You continue on walking the baby around until she begins to doze off, arms twitching in her sleep, her head laying on your chest, fuzzing and twitching like a kitten. A wide grin spread across the man's face, warm and genuine at the sight, feeling like something within his chest had been suddenly twisted in a pleasing way.
"Only a few more months and I'll officially be home, my love. Then we'll be together, our whole little family. My whole world," he smiled, making silly faces through the tablet. "Babe, I gotta get going now. Johnny is almost here to pick me up."
âHurry home, fast,â you urge.
âAs fast as Johnny can drive,â Jaehyun calls as a goodbye and winks at you.
âOh god. That might get you home quicker, but I am begging you,â you plead, âDon't let him speed.â
"No promises!" he calls as a goodbye and winks at you.
With that, the call is done and you situate the baby on the playmat, turning on a baby video with music as she snoozes away. You sit, with legs curled under you, waiting for his arrival.
Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, half an hour and still no Jaehyun. He should've been back by now.
After a couple more minutes, the door unlocks and you look over to the door, your husband comes barreling through as quick as his legs will allow. "Jaehyun!"
His feet carry him in an instant, catching your jaw gently, cupping it before dragging the pad of his thumb over your cheek with a love-sick and tired smile gracing his features.Â
"I'm home," he whispers softly, lifting you up in a bear-like hug and carrying you the short distance to the sofa before setting you in his lap. "God, how have you been, sweetheart? How's my baby girl?"
"Good and asleep. Tuckered herself out today, too," you lean over him, peering over the back to spot the infant sleeping. "We're both really glad you're finally home."Â
You breathe out, laying a loving kiss against his brow. "How long is this break? Do I get to keep you to myself for longer than a day this time?"
"This time is a week," he grinned and hugged you closer, hands going up and down the span of your back. "Just a week. You can keep me to yourself for a week. Plus my hair is a bit longer now for you to pull..." he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and making you swat at his broad chest.
"Quit! The baby is sleeping," you chide him. But, Jaehyun was quick to make up for his lack of brain cells by leaving open-mouthed, lingering kisses over your neck, not holding back while nipping gently here and there. Your breathless hush becomes a broken groan.
"Did I ever tell you," his voice dropped, turning rough, as he grazed his teeth over the shell of your ear. His smile was wicked and inviting. He'd never looked as handsome as in this moment to you. "I love you so, so much?"
You clear your throat with a chuff, fight a shiver, and narrow your eyes at your husband. "Many times, but remind me once again."
Jaehyun looks you in the eyes, giving your buttocks a hearty squeeze. "Let me prove it, instead."
#kvanity#ksmutsociety#nct#nct 127#nct scenarios#nct stories#nct fanfics#nct imagines#nct smut#Jeong Jaehyun#Jaehyun#nct jaehyun#jaehyun smut#jaehyun x reader
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Coloured Red
Summary: He likes you in his colour, just not that like that. (Jason Todd x reader)
Word Count: 2.1K
Notes: blood and injury. Hope everyone's having a good week so far! Not my favouriteeeeee Jason piece I have written but please enjoy anyways. xx
âââââââââââââŕźťâŕźşââââââââââââââ
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Never like this.
He had been working out of the manor for a few days, something he was already reluctant to do. However, you had sent him off to "work" with a bright smile and a kiss on the cheek, wishing him well for whatever convention Librarians had. Instead of your boyfriend being the gruff librarian sorting returns every night, he was in fact the red masked vigilante cooped up in the cave, pacing back and forth in front of the Bat computer while Tim tried to trace their latest suspect.
Dick had called him back for some extra firepower in the latest case, and if he hadn't owed him one Jason would be back with you in a heartbeat. "Get anything?" he grunts to Tim, who's fingers are typing strings of code into the keyboard.
"Not yet," he hums, the younger man's face twitching with annoyance as the firewall warning flashes across the screen again.
"Give it time, Jay. we don't want to let them know we're onto them." comes Dick, whoâs leaning against a railing and still fully suited up from his earlier patrol. "I've checked all through The Cauldron and Southside, no trace of them there. Penguin must have closed up shop around Cobblepot Steel when he started working with his new friend. Going through great lengths to gatekeep his new buddy from us." he hums.
"Well I want to get this meet and greet over with," Jason grumbles, crossing his arms while he scuffs his boots impatiently.
"Bee in your bonnet, Red?" Dick calls and Jason scoffs.
"You put it there. You wanted me to help take 'em down while the Bat is out of town with Superscout, but you don't even know where they are. I've spent a full night just waiting for boy genius here to get a lock."
Dick puts his hands up in mock surrender. "We'll be done soon, promise. Then you can go home to your sweetheart. Hey, you can even say you came back early just to see them. I'm helping you get brownie points." he grins, nimbly dodging the hand Jason had swung out to slap the back of his head. "Where are they anyways? Their place?"
"Safehouse." Jason grunts back. "Staying at mine while I'm helping you lot. Old Gotham, near the GCPD. Besides, I told them to mark down I'd be back tonight on the calendar anyways."
Dick whistles. "Didn't think you had a place that close to the cops."
Jason just shrugs. "They're not after me, and if they were it would be somewhere they wouldn't look. Plus it's a nice distance from you all." he grumbles.
Dick pushes off the wall coming to lean over a monitor near Tim. "Well if our mystery person is teaming up with Penguin, and he isn't interested in the drug business, what is he here for?" he hums, eyes focused on the map of Gotham that Tim has pulled up. He taps the screen after a second, zooming in. "Here. Dixon Docks. We haven't checked here yet. Penguin used to smuggle through here, but it also became a bit of a meet up spot. He might have gone back to old ground."
"Yeah, but Penguin shifted his focus into drug running. Bruce put him under pretty heavy surveillance, managed to shut down a lot of his operations for a while. You really think he'd be that stupid to start trying to smuggle firearms again?" Tim piped up.
"Maybe. But Maybe its not firearms. This spot used to be a mob meeting spot. He never visited the operation personally unless-"
"Unless he wanted to order a hit." Jason cut off his older counterpart, voice becoming modulated as he fixed his mask to his face. "Seems there's a chance his new play pal is a hitman."
"For who though?" Tim asks.
"Maybe the hit isn't one Penguin is ordering. maybe the Penguin's selling info." Dick calls, testing his in earpiece before giving Jason a nod. "Me and Hood are going in to take a look. Track our location and keep the cameras on."
Tim nods while Jason and Dick head for the bikes, mounting each of their respective vehicles.
"Finally something to do." Jason groans, stretching his arms above his head before catching the cocky grin from Dick speeding past him. "Show-off." he murmurs, his own engine roaring to life as he follows suit.
They had cleared the dock pretty easily, Dick's hunch being correct. Between the two of them the middlemen and thugs were strewn across the floor of the warehouse, and Tim had already called the GCPD to come pick them up for the arrest. "No sign of our flightless friend." Jason grumbled, stepping over an unconscious thug.
"Nor our new mystery visitor." Dick concludes, tucking his escrima under his arm as he goes through the stack of papers at the makeshift desk tucked behind some shipping containers. Jason has known the eldest robin enough to know when he was worried, and the tight way he now held his body was a clear sign. "You find something?" he asks, boots thudding as the come to stand beside him.
"You think Oz was beginning to catch on?" Dick asks quietly, turning the page to show Jason the blurry CCTV photo of Bruce, a crude cowl and ears drawn over the image in sharpie.
"Shit," Jason breathed, taking some of the papers from Dick and beginning to flick through it. "This is all of us." He confirms, worry beginning to gnaw at his bones. There were photos of Tim leaving the city library and entering the Wayne Tower. Photos of Dick back in Bludhaven in a police uniform, photos of him at galas. Photos of Damian at school and meeting with Alfred. The more he flipped through them the more his heart dropped. There was a photo for nearly every 'apprentice' of Batman, surrounded by question marks.
"Whoever is joining the dots isn't fully convinced of it themselves." he murmurs, blood freezing as he sees a photo of himself there. A photo with you on his arm next to him. Dick comes to peer over at it, cursing under his breath.
"Hood, don't panic-" he tries to soothe, but Jason is already pushing past him to tear at more of the documents on the desk. He rifles through the papers, the sound of approaching sirens and Nightwing's urging to leave the scene deafened by the ringing in his ears. In his tightly clenched hands there was a leger, with a list of addresses. In the middle, was his address. The address he had given you, highlighted in yellow.
"We need to go." Dick urges, hurrying him to mount his bike. Jason jaw clenches, and he shoves the piece of paper into his brothersâ hands.
"Yeah. We do." he grits out, but he hopes Dick can't hear the sheer fear held behind his teeth. His bike speeds off, roaring through the side street they came on as he reroutes for Old Gotham. Dick looks down, eyes wandering over the red written date next to the highlighted address, tonight date. "Jesus," he breathes out, quickly following behind his brother before he does something reckless.
Jason doesn't think that he'd ever driven that fast since he'd been on the run from Bruce, throwing the bike into park so violently outside his apartment that the tires burnt as they squealed. Dick wasn't too far behind him, calling out for him to wait in between talking to Tim on the other end of his earpiece. His heart is thudding in his ears, hands feeling cold as he scales the stairs to the fourth floor, knocking on the door rapidly. He didn't care he was in his full suit. He could make some bullshit excuse if you were fine, claiming some noise disturbance or the wrong door.
But if he wasn't?
Then someone was going to fear the fact he was already suited up.
"I told you to wait, Hood-" Dick snaps at him, slightly out of breath from having to run behind him. Jason doesn't listen, shoulder slamming into the door when you don't come to answer.
"Don't you have the key?" Nightwing hisses to him.
"Left it in my civvies." he grunts, stumbling slightly as the door gives way. "I wasn't really expecting toâŚ" he trails off, bile rising in his throat and blood draining from his face. Dick pushes in next to him, still scolding. "You can't just go in like this-" he cuts himself off, catching sight of what Jason was burning into his brain. "Oh no, Jay..." he whispers, but Jason is already moving to your side.
His hands come to your head, softly cradling it in his large palms. Two fingers come to press against your neck, his breathing evening out as he finds a weak pulse. "They're still kicking." He grunts out, other hand coming to cradle the back of your head. He closes his eyes trying to scrub the image of you lying there in the living room, sprawled on the carpet surrounded by the shards of the broken window and white rug drinking your blood.
Your eyes flicker weakly and you make a faint cry when he presses down on the wound by your ribs, a sound that tears him up inside. "Shhh," he tries to say softly, but the modulator makes it robotic, stripping the emotion from it. "I gotta put pressure on it. Did you see who did it?" he asks. He can faintly hear Dick calling for Robin on the end of the commlink, calling for paramedics to come to his address.
He hates how warm his hands feel, gloves heating up as if they were stealing the life force from out of you. Blood is flecked across your lips from the spray, faintly mumbling the words, "didnât see them."
He nods along. "Thatâs okay, thatâs okay." he murmurs, but he wasn't sure who he was telling that to.
"Red HoodâŚ" you groan out, hand coming the grip his wrist as he pushes firmer on the bullet wound. Your fingers are bloody, smearing the crimson across his suit. "You gottaâŚyou gotta find my boyfriend," you cough weakly. "They were here for him. Heâs justâŚhe's just a librarianâŚ" your eyes tear up, throat swelling with the weight of your words. "He was just coming back tonightâŚoh godâŚyou have to find him⌠what if they-" you sob, causing your face to scrunch up at the pain that ripples through your body. "I wannaâŚI wanna see him."
Jason's heart is tearing into pieces as Dick kneels to your other side, hands coming to your non-wounded side as he preps the area, Tim faintly heard giving instructions on how to stabilise you until the paramedics arrive. Jason shakes his head, fighting back tears. Despite the side glance he gets from Nightwing, he pulls one hand up to his face, feeling for the latch under his jaw to release his mask.
When he pulls it away his eyes are red, tears already built in the corners. His lips have a tremble that hasn't been felt since he was in the single digits on the streets, and his hairline is beaded with sweat from worry. He offers you a weak smile, unable to stop the shooting pain that wracks his mind watching the hazy confusion on your face.
"Jay?" you whisper, the word more mouth than sound. He nods reluctantly.
It wasnât supposed to be like this.
Oh god, it wasnât supposed to go like this.
He dreamt of the day that he could tell you his identity, of his real profession. He imagined all the best scenarios of you accepting him, of letting him spin you around the kitchen when he picked you up by the waist like he did so often. Of telling you while you both read together on the couch, your legs pulled across his lap. He never imagined the bad scenarios. He pushed those to the back of his mind. But as you reached up with bloodstained fingers, dragging the sticky red across his cheek in that oh so familiar motion, he knew right then that this was the worst situation imaginable.
He lets his tears wash the red from your fingers, trying to blink them out of his eyes so he could focus on saving you.
"Hold on, sweetheart." he murmured weakly, desperately praying for the wailing of the siren to reach his ears.
He had always said how much he loved red, loved you in the colour. Loved you in his colour.
Now he was thinking he never wanted to see you bathed in this much red ever again.
#dc#dc comics#dc fanfic#red hood#red hood x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#dc x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader angst#red hood angst#jason todd angst#angstober24#angstober 2024#day 03#day 3#messenger of babel#writing challenge
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spiced chai
pairing: carmen "carmy" berzatto x reader
summary: you've been living in chicago for about a year, and you're suddenly managing the coffee shop in the well beloved bookstore, nan's. you meet carmen berzatto on a not-so-good day. you're thrust into the everchanging societal landscape that is making friends in your 20s..
word count: ~9.7k
warnings: language, depictions of mental illness, barista!reader, afab!reader (but tried to be as neutral as possible), neurodivergent!reader, they don't kiss, could be read as platonic tbh but there's crumbs in there if you look, takes place over the course of a few months, probably doesn't follow canon fully (i'm not caught up yet forgive me)
a/n: *dumps this here and runs* but actually this piece of writing appeared in my brain and i've been picking away at it for a couple of months. i feel like i've put more of myself into this fic than with anything else i've written, so this is definitely more of a self insert (pls be kind or don't read if that's not your vibe). i'm queer, non-binary, and autistic and i just wanted to insert that into this space. i feel like there's more to explore here, so i might write more for this if i feel so inclined.
Meeting Carmen Berzatto was not on your to-do list for Tuesday morning.
Not that having to run down to the nearest corner store to grab milk - since the milk fridge was on the fritzâŚagain - at 4am was in your plans either. It always seemed like one step forward, three giant leaps back with the little shop on the corner you basically called home. It was weird, to be thrust into leadership as your manager made an abrupt exit.Â
The small bookstore, with an even tinier coffee shop, had been your place of work for the last year or so. You loved it. The people were great, and Nan, the shop owner, was absolutely lovely. She was getting up in her years, but the genuine care she had for the employees made all the difference. She put her trust in you to run the cafe, saying âYou have the experience, and the care you have for people shows. I know this. Everyone knows this. Now you just have to see it - have confidence.â
âConfidence my ass,â you mutter, carrying five gallons of milk around the corner.
What happens next might have been considered the beginning of a rom-com, but youâre a realist, and the world is shitty.
Thereâs a crash, and the distinct sound of three of the five gallons of milk dropping onto the sidewalk. You stare, watching in slow motion as the milk forms into a river, dripping off the sidewalk into the gutter.
The person who ran into you curses, âShit â fuck, sorry, IâI wasnât looking where I wasâŚdammit.â
You grip the other two jugs in your arms, blinking out of the haze to let out a hysterical laugh. âGreatâŚcool cool.â Cold plastic bites into your fingers, and you take a deep breath. âYeah, okay, what else was gonna happen?â You finally look up to see the one you collided with. The man looks extremely uncomfortable, foot tapping like he wants to bolt. Plastering on a smile you shake your head, âItâs fine. Iâm the one who thought carrying five gallons of milk would be fine.â You ramble on, trying to ease his nerves, âI mean â why would I drive, like, thirty seconds. Park, get the milk, come all the way back. Seemed stupidâŚbut now thereâs milk in my socks.â You grimace, fighting the urge to chuck the remaining jugs of milk in the street so you could also hurl your milk-soaked shoes and socks after them. It makes the ache in your chest sharpen.
âHere, where are you ââ
You cut him off, âNo, no, itâs okay. I got it, thank you.â You gesture to the door thatâs just a few feet away from you. âThis is me, anyway.â You adjust your hold on the milk, brushing past the man to pull open the door. You catch it with your hip, not daring to look back as you head behind the counter. You release a sigh, setting the bane of your existence on the black speckled marble.Â
âFuck,â you whisper, pressing the backs of your hands to your eyes. You shake out your arms, biting your lip. âOkay, asshole, letâs get your shit together.â You quickly put the milk into the small fridge below the bar and walk to the back. The squish of your socks curdles your stomach, and you breathe through your mouth to avoid the smell. You take off your shoes, throwing them into a plastic bag to take home. Tossing your socks into the garbage, you grab your replacement sneakers and socks from your cubby. It wasnât the first time youâve dropped something on your shoes, it wouldnât be the last.
You take your time in the back. You had gotten to the shop around 4am, unable to sleep. You were messing around with recipes, seeing if there was a possibility of baking some of the food in the cafe fresh, instead of outsourcing. It was something you put on your own plate, and you didnât want to disappoint Nan. You had shown up early, looking to try out some muffins, and noticed the fridge had been hovering at sixty degrees all night. Youâll have to grab some more milk before the day starts, but that could be a problem for 8am you.
Walking through the swinging doors, you jump as you see someone at the bar counter. Pressing a hand to your fluttering heart, you finally take in the man that had run into you earlier. A mop of curly hair on his head, white tee, very blue eyesâŚand standing behind eight gallons of milk.
âUmâŚâ you look between the milk and him a few times.
âTheâŚuh â the door was unlocked. Figured I owed you one.â He rubs the back of his neck.
âHowâd you even get it all here?âÂ
âMade two trips.â His gaze snaps back to you as you laugh, this time more genuine. âFridge go out, or somethinâ?â Youâre still staring at him like he has two heads, and he rambles on, âSorry for justâŚbarging in. I used to go to this placeâŚwhen I was kid. My sister and I would grab whatever pastries they had left for the day. And, yeah, weâd just sit, read random shit. I work at the restaurant just down the streetâŚâs why I ran into you. Wasnât paying attention â sorry, again.â
Suddenly, it all clicks. âYou own The Bear.â
âUh, yeah â yeah, I do.â
You feel nervous, out of the blue. Nan hadnât stopped talking about the Berzattoâs, and Natalie had become a regular while the restaurant was being remodeled. Youâre sure youâd seen other employees come in as well, for reading material. You vaguely remember talking to a very sweet man about baking, as he carried a ton of cookbooks in his arms.
You knew Carmen Berzatto, but only through the words of others â and the research you did late one night because you were nosey. To have him standing in the bookstore you worked at, for him to have gotten you milk, is sending you for a loop. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you begin to put the milk in their new home. You really need to call the refrigerator guy again.Â
âThatâs so cool,â the words fall from your mouth, others staying in your head.Â
It's insane that someone like him is even speaking to you. Heâs around the same age as you; He owns a restaurant and youâre barely able to run a tiny coffee bar in a bookstore. Youâre an idiot who dropped milk onto the sidewalk. Why didnât you just take the car? You shouldâve just taken the car. Now Carmen fucking Berzatto has bought you milk at 5am because he feels bad for you. How pathetic. Call the fucking refrigerator guy.
âThanksâŚfor the milk.â You back away from the counter, gesturing behind you, âLemme grab some money from the cash box real quick.â
âNo, donât worry about it.â
âItâs really fine, you didnât have to go out of your way. Iâll be right back.â The itch creeps its way up your spine, and you push through the door as a shudder passes through you. You shake out the twitch, going and grabbing the cash box. You do mental math, trying to see how much you should give him. Did he even need the money? âIdiot,â you chide yourself. Today was not the day for your brain.Â
Snagging a twenty and a ten, you rush back out to the bar, only to find the store empty. A groan escapes through your teeth, and you clench the cash in your hands, crumpling it. You walk to the front door, peering out to see if you can spot the chef. He mustâve made a quick getaway. As you turn to get prepped for the day, you spot a brochure on the counter, far away from its home of the stand at the front of the bookstore. Eat Your Way Through Chicago!Â
Scribbled on the front is a phone number, and the words:
Fridge Ask for Fak Say Carm sent you
âFucking fuck.â You whisper, a smile creeping on your face against your will, âAsshole.â
Itâs later in the week when you hear the bell attached to the front door â ding! You poke your head up from where you're arranging some alternative milks under the counter, seeing a familiar blonde.
âHey, Natalie!â You pop up, an easy grin appearing on your face. âHalf-caff?â
She nods, âPlease.â
âHow are you?âÂ
âOh, you know.â
You ring her up quickly, then grab a pitcher to steam some milk for her latte. Natalie walks away from the counter to browse some books. The steam wand whirs, and you watch the vortex inside the pitcher. You touch the sides every so often, waiting for it to get to the right temperature. Making drinks is all muscle memory now, and you tamp the espresso grounds into the portafilter with precision. Wiping the excess from the lip, you lock it into the machine and press the shot button. As the shot pulls, you wipe down the steam wand with a wet cloth.Â
âIs this any good?â Natalie has come back over, holding up a book with a half-naked man on the front.
You laugh, âItâs a Nan recommendation, soâŚâ The shots are poured into the paper cup, and you swirl the milk into it, doing a quick tulip design. You sprinkle a little cinnamon over the top, before placing it in front of the woman.
âSmutty then, for sure.â Natalie laughs, then does a little excited gasp when she sees the latte art. âIt looks so good every time!âÂ
âThanks,â you reply, âGets covered by the lid, but itâs fun to practice.â
âToo bad you donât have for-here mugs,â she says thoughtfully.
âEver the idea-haver! There'd be more spills to clean up â Nan would lose her mind if any books got ruined.â You point to the book still in her hand, âYou want me to ring you up for that?â It was early enough in the afternoon that the only other person here was a part-timer, Jack, somewhere between the shelves stocking books. You had convinced Nan to upgrade to a different register system (which ended up saving money in the long run), so youâre able to ring up both books and cafĂŠ products at your register.Â
She shakes her head, sighing. âI barely have any time to read, these days. I was thinking about trying out audiobooks? I used to listen to them at my old job, but itâs way too loud in the kitchen for that to work out.â The latte goes to her mouth, a pleasant hum leaving her as she takes a sip. âYouâre the best.â
âThanks, Natalie.â
She squints at you, âItâs Nat, câmon.â A big conspiratorial grin makes its way onto her face, âSo, I heard that you got some help with your fridge.â
A sharp pain twists in your chest. âOh, umâŚyeah.â You let out a soft chuckle, âItâs working, which is great. Neil was a big help.â
âHe said you made him the best hot chocolate heâs ever had,â Natalie taps the counter with her pointer finger twice. âSaid he didnât know how you got his number, though.âÂ
You shrug, wiping down the counter, âNan had it. And the usual guy wasnât calling me back.â Neil had told you the exact same thing, both about the drink and the number. Something had held you back from saying where you got the number from. Embarrassment, maybe? It felt weird, feeling like you owed anyone favors, or that things would be unbalanced. People usually never give without looking to receive.
âFrankie, right? Heâs an asshole. Overcharges for everything.â Natalie doesnât push you for answers, something youâre grateful for.
âRight! He disappeared one time and said heâd âbe right backâ and then was gone for like, two hours! And he added that to his hourly!â The two of you giggle at the shittiness of people for a minute, when a ping causes Natalie to pull her phone from her pocket.
âI should run.â She reaches into her purse, and puts a five into your tip jar. âThanks again!âÂ
As she turns to go, you call out her name. âWould you - maybe - I have some extra muffins. The place we get them from gave us some of the wrong onesâŚor theyâre a tad over baked, or something. I canât sell them. Would you wanna take them with you?â
âThatâs so sweet of you! Yeah, Iâm sure theyâll get eaten up.â
You grab the box of muffins, handing them over to her, âThanks.â
âThank you, babe.â She leaves with a smile, and you look down to brush the flour off your apron.Â
âHey, guys, I got some goodies!â Natalie sets the box of muffins on the table, where everyone is seated for family meal.Â
Neil immediately grabs the box, pointing to the sticker on the top, âYou went to Nanâs? Man, I could use a hot chocolate right now.âÂ
âIâm sure you can walk over there and order one, my love.â Natalie replies, waving for him to put the box back on the table.
Marcus snags two muffins, handing one to Sydney who is sitting on his right. Taking a bite, he stops chewing, eyebrows raised. âDude,â he nudges the girl next to him.
âDude,â Syd parrots, popping some muffin into her mouth. âWait, woah.â
âThatâs what Iâm saying!âÂ
âNat, where did you get these?â Sydney calls to the woman now sitting at the end of the table. The muffins are passed down the rest of the table.
Marcus has started dissecting the muffin, âMacadamia nuts, sick.â
âOh theyâre from Nanâs just down the corner!â She tells them how you offered them to her since they were the wrong ones from a vendor and possibly over-baked.
Syd snorts, âOver-baked? These are perfect!â
âWhatâs perfect?â Carmy walks out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.
âBear, come eat!â Natalie waves him over, pulling him into the seat next to hers. âYouâve been at it all morning, take a minute, okay?â She gives him a look that tells him not to argue, and he huffs in response, but does as she says.
âWhatâs perfect?â He asks again, taking the muffin box from Sweeps as itâs passed to him. As the cinnamon crumble topping hits his taste buds, he leans back in his chair. âShit.â
âThatâs what weâre saying!âÂ
Syd and Marcus begin talking over one another, the dull roar of family making its home in Carmyâs ears. He has another bite of muffin, thumb swiping over the sticker atop the box.
Nanâs Books & Brews
Simple lettering, surrounding a doodle of a coffee cup sitting on an open book.
âWhen did they,â he clears his throat as he leans closer to Nat, âwhen did they start doinâ stuff like this?â
Natalie purses her lips, âNot sure, honestly. They only had that small coffee machine and that plastic pastry case when we were growing up, remember? I think they added the actual coffee bar right before Covid?â Carmy nods, looking out the windows, a curdle in his stomach.
âA lotâs changed,â he murmurs.
âYeah,â Nat sighs, a hand over her stomach, âa lot has.â
A few weeks go by, as uneventful as they can be. You try out more recipes, and the staff of Nanâs is always sent home with one treat or another. Muffins, cinnamon rolls, croissants (which were a bust), and the like. Natalie is still a regular, and Neil has shown up to save your ass more than once. The brochure with his number on it taunts you from where itâs stuck up on the corkboard in the back.
Which is what has led you to standing in front of The Bear, a joe-to-go in one hand, paper bag in the other. An envelope burns in the inner pocket of your flannel jacket. Steeling your nerves, you knock on the door. Some yells are heard from inside, nicknames getting passed around like itâs a holiday dinner. You see a man walk towards you, in a nice suit, and he opens the door.
âCan I help you?â Itâs not said unkindly, but thereâs a look in his eyes thatâs making you nervous.Â
âCoffee delivery?â You say sheepishly, holding up the coffee traveler by its cardboard handle.
âRichie, whoâs at the - hey!â Natalie immediately smiles when she sees you, and you sigh a breath of relief. Things were easy with her; she had this amazing way of comforting you without even trying.
âHi,â you wiggle your fingers, still keeping hold of the objects in your hands. âWanted to say thanks for all the help Neilâs been giving me, and when Nan found out, she insisted I bring over some coffee for the team, soâŚâ
âYou workinâ at Nanâs?â The guy - Richie - asks.
âFor the past year or so, yeah.â You reply, thanking Natalie as she grabs the paper bag from you.
âLet them in, Richie, câmon.â She presses on his chest, causing him to back up with his hands in the air. âCome in! Iâve been meaning to ask if you wanted to come by for a tour.â You follow behind her, taking in the layout of the place. Itâs absolutely gorgeous, and a sense of awe falls over you. She has you set the coffee traveler on the bar, letting you take the paper bag from her hands. You pull out a cup holder with two cups in it.
âOne half-caff french vanilla latte for you andâŚa hot chocolate for Neil.â As if by magic, Neil pops through the door to the kitchen.
âFor me?!â
You chuckle as he pulls you into a hug. When he pulls away, he grabs his cup with a happy sound, rushing back into the kitchen when âFak!â is yelled.
âThe fuck Fak get a coffee for?â Richie frowns, causing you to bristle. Natalie swats at him, beginning to explain as you continue to walk around the restaurant. As you pass by a wood table, your fingers tap on it, the sound echoing in your ears. It sends a shiver through you, and a small smile appears on your lips.Â
Natalie calls out to you, tearing your gaze back to her. People have begun to swarm around the bar, placing food on it, and your coffee is suddenly surrounded by things that smell amazing. âDid you want to eat with us, babe?â Attention turns to you, and the itchiness in your limbs reappears with a vengeance.
 A tall man, wearing a beanie, grins, âHey, those muffins were amazing, by the way.â
You sputter, âOh. Umââ
âTell the chef, or baker â whoever,â he laughs at himself. âThey were fire.â
Warmth rises in you, âYeah, Iâll pass it on.â
âBabe, lunch?â Natalie says again, louder this time. More of the staff have begun digging into their meals.
âNo, itâs okay!â The corner of your mouth curves up in a small smile, this one less genuine than before. You begin to back up towards the door, a gnaw of guilt in your gut as Natalie frowns.Â
âCousin! Food!â Richie yells out, followed by laughter from everyone else.
âIâm coming!â A familiar figure bursts through the kitchen door, âYou donât gotta yell like an asshole.â
Carmen Berzatto stops in his tracks when he sees you; the envelope in your pocket burns hotter. You look down at your shoes, but they just remind you of the milk dripping down the sidewalk.
âCarm,â Natalie introduces you, âthey work atââ
âNanâs.â Everyone chimes in, and you have to stop yourself from flinching. You look over at Carmy, eyes meeting.
Thereâs a moment where you feel like youâre going to get swallowed whole. The pipes are going to burst and water will fill up the room and youâre going to drown.
You walked straight into a den of hungry beasts, and youâre just a measly rabbit.
âAre you sure you donât want to stay?â Natalieâs words are muffled in your ears, but you manage to shake your head.
âI have someone from books covering me, and they barely know how to work the espresso machine.â You force a laugh. It grates against your vocal chords. âIt was nice meeting you guys, though.â With a meek wave, you turn on your feet and speed out the door. Rounding the corner, you keep walking until youâre sure they canât see you. Veering into the alleyway behind the restaurant, you let out a shaky breath, leaning against the brick.Â
You press your thumb into the palm of your hand. Inhale, hold four seconds, exhale. Inhale, hold four seconds, exhale. Itâs over before it starts, but your chest remains tight. A reminder, which will eventually dissipate once you're back in the shop.
The coffee bar, your shield; apron, your armor.Â
A door opening causes you to jump, startled. Your eyes meet blue, widening like youâve been caught. âSorry! I was justââ You push off the brick.
Carmen seems just as surprised as you, âNo, sâfine.â He clears his throat, as the two of you settle into silence.
A fwip of a lighter. Four seconds. An exhale of smoke.
Youâre unsure if you should leave, but itâs like the bottoms of your shoes are stuck to the ground. âDid you-â He starts, lifting up his hand that holds a lit cigarette.
You shake your head, âNo, but - um, thanks.â Your fingers twitch, and you reach to pull the envelope from inside your jacket. Something that appears so insignificant, held out in the space between you. When he just stares, you wave it a bit, until he takes the envelope with his free hand.
âWhatâs this?âÂ
âCash, for the milk you bought.â
âYou didnât have to-â
âI did.â You bounce on your heels, âI should actually get going this time. Just wanted to give you that butâŚâ He doesnât respond, something youâre getting used to. You wonder where the man who rambled about reading with his sister at Nanâs went, but decide now is the best time to make your escape. As you start to walk toward the street, you turn, âThe restaurant looks great, by the way. Good luck with the opening.â
âGood luck with the opening.â
Inhale. Four seconds. Exhale.
"Let it rip, Bear."
Inhale. Four seconds. Exhale.
â-a complete waste of fucking time.â
Inhale. Four seconds. Exhale.
âIâm really sorry you feel that way, Carm.â
Natalie invites you to Friends & Family.
You donât go.
The next month flies by. Marcus, Richie, and Syd have joined your little group of regulars. Richie even brings his daughter, Eva, whenever heâs able. Sheâs a joy and absolutely hilarious to have around. Richie has grown on you, the rough edges of him softening after a few cortados.
One night, he had rushed into the shop, Eva in tow, all but begging you to watch her for a few hours. He was supposed to be off for the day, to spend time with his daughter, but theyâre understaffed at The Bear. A few weeks in, which confused you, but questions werenât asked. You said yes - obviously - and had Eva help you with little things around the shop, until you close. The two of you bonded over a shared love of Taylor Swift while making muffins. By the time Richie came to pick her up, Eva was tuckered out in a loveseat, patchwork blanket tucked up to her chin.
âI owe you one,â Richie had whispered, holding his daughter in his arms.
You shook your head, âYou deserve to have time with her.â
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, âYeah, bring it up with the Bear himself.â
You werenât planning on it. The man is barely on your mind. Except for every time someone from The Bear walks in. They look drained, more and more each day. Itâs a certain type of pain, to watch people â that once had so much life in them â lose the light that you felt so harshly the first time you walked into the restaurant. You hear inklings; mentions of a changing menu every night, nonnegotiables, and the like.
It worries you. Itâs not your place - youâre more than aware of that. But youâve come to care for these people. And by extension, some part of you wants to see how heâs doing. Itâs an odd - biting -feeling. How strange it is, to know someone through everyone elseâs eyes but your own. You have to fight back the urge to force yourself into the places you do not fit. Youâre resigned to watching from afar, providing comfort behind your coffee bar. Itâs what youâre good at. It might be all you're good at.
Some sick twist of fate decides to upturn it all one Friday night.
Carmy had stayed late, to nobodyâs surprise. Heâd been adjusting the menu, preparing it for tomorrow, when the flashes hit him. He decides to walk it off, popping another thing of nicotine gum into his mouth. He walks aimlessly, trying to push the overwhelming thoughts out of his head. The street is dark - most places being closed - but light pours onto the sidewalk, just a few feet ahead of him. Almost a reflex, he peers into the windows.
A laugh of disbelief - more a huff of air through his nose - leaves him.
Youâre dancing, headphones over your ears, as you mix something in a large bowl. Itâs unlike anything heâs seen - from you or otherwise. Thereâs a sense of freedom in your movements, so different from the few times heâd seen you before. The tightness in his chest lightens, some, at the sight of you so obviously in your element.
And you're looking right at him.
âShit,â he mumbles. You tilt your head at him, doing a little wave. He lifts a hand in reply, and you point haphazardly at the door. Before he can respond, or walk away â anything, youâre heading around the counter. A click of the door unlocking, and you pull it open part way.
âHey,â you say, a little loud. With a wince, you pull the headphones off to rest around your neck. Music can be heard â a muffled, upbeat song that he doesnât recognize. âHey,â you say again, quieter this time. Silence passes between you, and he watches your nose twitch. ââŚdid you wanna?â You jut your thumb behind you. Youâre almost unrecognizable from the first time you met, calmer, somehow.
âYeah, sure.â The words come out, easier than he thinks, and slips through the door you hold open. You lock it behind him, turning back around to slide behind the counter.
You grab a muffin tin, beginning to fill each one with a scoop of the batter you had been mixing. You make quick work of it, pushing them into the small commercial oven, wiping your fingers on the towel thatâs pulled through a loop in your jeans.
Leaning against the counter, you finally look at him, âOkay, Pick your poison.â
âWhat?â
âCoffee? Americano, latte, cappuccino?â Itâs like youâre trying to read him, wanting to crack the spine of a book and see whatâs inside.
âI donât really do theâŚcaffeine.â
You hum thoughtfully, tapping your fingers on the counter in some type of rhythm. âCan I make you something? Low-caffeinated, of course.â He nods. âAnything you hate?â A shake of his head.
You grab a cup and get to work. Youâre singing under your breath - the song thatâs playing from the headphones around your neck. With your eyes off of him, he takes a moment to actually observe the shop. Warm lighting, with dark wood bookshelves making it feel cozy without being too claustrophobic. Thereâs smaller tables, with different recommendations for certain genres. A sprinkling of string lights and hanging plants just adds to the homey feeling, one so different from the pristine, white kitchens heâs used to being in. So different from his own restaurant. The coffee shop portion is close to the front, dark marble countertops and a chalkboard menu - swirling letters describing monthly drink specials.
âAlright, order up,â you call out softly.
Carmy walks back up to the bar, eyeing the cup. Warmth presses into his skin as his fingers curl around it. You mention that itâs hot, to let it cool for a bit. Silence falls between the two of you - in a way he finds comforting. Your eyes flick between him and the counter youâre wiping down.
âDo you normally do this?â He asks.
âThe making drinks thing, or the staying at the shop way too late thing?â You give a wry smile. âCould ask you the same.â
He scratches at his nose, âNoted.â
The minutes pass; you go about cleaning the shop, rinsing dishes and setting things up for the next day. Itâs an art heâs well versed in. The muscle memory takes over for you, and Carmen becomes invisible. It feels nice, to just be in a place where nobody has anything to ask of him. He finally tries the drink. Itâs good, milky, if a little sweet, but it eases the last of the sourness in his stomach away. A timer on your phone goes off, and you tug on a flowery oven mitt to pull the muffins out of the oven. Chocolate and spice invades his nostrils, soothing him even more. You grab one, hissing a bit since itâs hot, and put it on a plate, bringing it back over to him. Leaning over the bar, you reach for forks that are in a metal cup, right near Carmy. Youâre close, with no care about being in his personal space. Itâs only for a second, and then youâre back in your previous position.
âYou can have some, as long as you promise not to be an ass about it.â You hold out a fork for him. The words cause him to cringe, but he takes the utensil from you.
He stares at the muffin, running his thumb on the underside of the fork. âHow much trouble am I in?â
You shrink back a little, âW-what?â
Heâs met you what - twice? Both times felt clunky, an awkwardness to the both of you. Here, itâs simpler. Under the cover of night, huh? A voice that sounds awfully like Mikeyâs says in the back of his mind. His family wonât stop talking about you. Or drinking your coffee.
âThe Bear,â he mutters. âThey talk to you, right?â
You laugh, surprised. âDo you actually want to know?â You hold up a hand before he can reply, âActually, no. They donât talk to me. I see things, sure. But Iâm not getting anyone in trouble with the boss.â Youâre on the defensive, not even for yourself, but for his kitchen.
âThey-Theyâre not in trouble.â One look from you and he deflates, sighing. âOkay, yeah. JustâŚjust say something.â
âI havenât even been to eat there.â
âYou should come,â he says.
Another laugh - a scoff, more-like, âYou think I could afford your place?â You bite your lip, pinching the bridge of your nose. After a moment, you continue, gently, âDo you have any fun?â
âFun.â The word is like poison in his mouth.
âYes, fun. I know that food service isn't the best, but itâs good to have fun, or to at least enjoy it.â You wave your hands around, âThat family meal stuff you guys do? Thatâs so sweet, and you have a whole family unit going on in that kitchen, or whatever. If this restaurant is supposed to be the rest of your life, you should like it, at least a little bit, right?â Your torso melts into the counter, and you rest your head on your arm. âAnd like, maybe? Donât change the menu every night, or something. Itâs new, right? You gotta work out the kinks first before jumping in all-â you blow air out through your cheeks.
A beat of quiet, then, âThe menu, huh?â
âEleven thousand for butter?â You parrot back. At his frown, you hold up your hands, âIâm just a barista, what would I know?â You say it without heat, and yet he feels guilt crawl up his throat.
âThatâs not-â
âI know, Carmen.â A sigh leaves your lips, âYou asked, so I talked. Again, take everything with a grain of salt.â The words get softer, as if youâre talking more to yourself than to him, âJust remember whoâs going down with you if it ends up crashing and burning.â
You stab your fork into the muffin, tearing it in half. He follows suit, lifting a bite of it to his lips. Spice floods his taste buds, and he grunts. You blink up at him, fork hanging from your mouth. Heâs suddenly starving, and he eagerly gets himself another forkful. âSâgood.â He mumbles through the food. Carmen watches as you process his words, pressing your lips together to hide a smile. You two finish the muffin, and thereâs an ominous sense of peace that covers him like a blanket. âThanks.â
âFor yelling at you?â
Carmy lets the chuckle spill out, âIf thatâs what you call yellingâŚâ He trails off, sobering, âDo you have fun?â
You hum, contemplating. âYeah. I mean, itâs coffee, at the end of the day. Itâs just nice to see people, to make their day a little better than it was. I like to try out new things, to create, to get recommendations.â You stop, seeing him staring at you, âWhat?â
âYouâre differentâŚfrom the other day, sâall.â
Youâre perplexed, scrunching your nose, âWell I had a bad day, the first time. And I donât doâŚwell, with new people.â
âUnless youâre behind the counter.â
Your eyes widen, something flickering behind them, like heâs seen something you didnât want him to. âTouche.â Checking your phone, you clear your throat, âAlright, we should probably get out of here if we want any semblance of sleep.â He follows your lead, as you flick off the lights, throwing you backpack over your shoulder. He waits while you lock the front door, small key dangling on a keychain. You turn, looking at him, before holding out a paper bag, âMuffin for the road?â
He grabs it, an odd feeling bubbling in his chest, âOh - uh, thanks.â
You suddenly look sheepish, fiddling with the strap of your bag, âAnd if youâre out late again, feel free to stop by. If you need a break, or something.â A beat. âOh, again, take what I said with a grain of salt, yeah? Just - maybe - try to take care of yourself a little.â You laugh nervously, and Carmy sees the truth of his earlier observation. Youâre still more relaxed, but the nerves have crept in as you step outside your comfort zone. Something he knows all too well. âAnyways, have a good night - morning.â You shake your head, blowing a raspberry through your lips.
âNight. Get home safe.â He murmurs. You turn on your heel, walking down the street. He tightens his grip on the paper bag.
Take care of yourself.
At least enjoy it.
You should like it, at least a little bit, right?
Carmy doesnât know if he truly remembers what liking cooking is like. Heâs found little bits of it, in moving back home. In Marcusâ eyes as he creates something new. In Sydâs determination to make amazing food. Thereâs a passion there that heâs lost somewhere along the way.
He sees it in you, and it calls out to him - the tide being pushed and pulled by the moon. A curious feeling, gnawing at his stomach. A hunger for something he canât make sense of, but he pulls the muffin out of the bag to eat on his walk home.
Carmy keeps showing up at Nanâs, usually late at night. You didnât expect him to take you up on your offer, yet a smile graces your lips every time he does.
He was right, when he said you feel most comfortable behind the counter. You knew it, but having someone else acknowledge it feltâŚweird. Like you werenât playing your part right. Yet it also felt good, to be seen.
Conversation between the two of you still feels stilted, occasionally, but you find comfort in the quiet moments. And the not-so quiet ones; with music playing at just above a reasonable level, you mouthing the words as you dance around behind the bar. The mask slowly slides off when he comes around, and itâs easier to be goofy.
You think it surprises him. Heâs not quite sure what to do, when youâre cruising on the linoleum tile you call a dance floor. But he never tells you that youâre weird, or too much. Youâve maybe even seen him bite back a smile. You swear thereâs dimples hiding somewhere â a fleeting thought that you let fly away before you linger on it too long.
âWhat do you think?â Youâve turned the music down, notepad on the counter, your favorite pen in hand. You click it a few times, sound satisfying the little itch in the back of your brain.
âNot sure if Iâm a matcha fan,â Carmy murmurs. You nod, writing down his response onto the paper. Itâs almost filled â youâll have to turn to the next page soon â with different drinks youâve had Carmy try, determined to find the right one. Heâs harder to pin than others, something youâre not necessarily surprised by.
That's partially on you. You're unsure of how much to ask. How much could you poke the both metaphorical and literal Bear until it breaks? You've been enjoying your time, but you've yet to ask him how work is going. He doesn't ask you about your personal life, so why would you ask about his?
There's a curiosity there, though. To see what makes Carmen Berzatto tick. You fear the two of you might be a little too similar.
You turn to go back to cleaning your mess â the reason being a fresh tray of cookies cooling on the counter, when he says your name. âDid you get a new tattoo?â
Gaze flashing to the wrap you have on your arm, peeking out from the sleeve of your shirt, you turn bashful. âOh,â you hum, âI did. Itâs been on my list for awhile. Iâm keeping it wrapped at work while it heals - god knows I spill everything all over myself.â
âCan I â What did you get?â Heâs just as sheepish as you, a boyish glow about him. Youâd never talked about tattoos before. His evidence is on his arms; yours are mostly concealed â easy to hide with the oversized button downs and jeans you wear.
You pull your phone from your back pocket, âHere, Iâll pull up a photo of it.â Placing your phone on the counter, Carmy grabs it, zooming in on the two-headed calf thatâs found its home on your bicep. The tattoo is fresher in the photo, line work popping out against your skin. âThe longest living two-headed calf lived 17 months. Her name was Gemini â a little on the nose, I think. Thereâs also this poem by Laura Gilpin, that just kinda struck me.â Your ramble tumbles off, a half smile pulling at your lips. âItâs sad, but the kind that makes you hurt in a nice way? If that even makes sense.â You wave a hand around, then reach to take a sip from his cup.
The matcha settles the nerves hiding under your skin, the earthy flavor dancing on your tongue. As you set the cup back on the counter, you point at his hand, âWhatâs that stand for?â Your own fingers twitch, fighting the urge to brush them across his own. âS.O.U?â
âAh, sense of urgency.â He says, fiddling with your phone.
You laugh, quickly covering it with a hand, âSorry, I â sorry, that just makes so much sense.â Before he can speak, you shake your head, âNot in a bad way, necessarily. Itâs just so obvious how little work-life balance you have.â
âWeâre literally at your shop in the middle of the night.â Carmen huffs exasperatedly, corner of his mouth curling up.
You hold your hands up, conceding, âOkay, I get it. Misery loves company - or whatever. God, weâre both crazy, arenât we? We should get out more.â
He hums in response, tapping his phone twice to check the time. Anxiety swells up in your throat, and thereâs something biting at your heels. The silence doesnât feel comfortable anymore.
You said something wrong, the little voice in your head whispers. You lost the script and got too close and now heâs pulling back. How can you fix it? You have to fix it.
âWhatâs your favorite one?â His blue eyes glance up at you. Invisible hand squeezing your lungs, you stammer, âTattoo. Whatâs the one you like most?â
His words come out softly, âA house boat. I, uh, got it before leaving Copenhagen. I stayed in one while I was over there, and put out water for an invisible cat.â Relief floods you as he talks. Itâs the most heâs spoken about anything, and you see a glimmer behind his eyes.
It feels a little too close to home.
âYou really loved it over there, huh?â
As if caught, he clears his throat, âIt was coolâŚdifferent.â
Different from Chicago, you donât say. âI get that,â you murmur instead.
You knew what it was like, to run away. The need for escape pushing you into flight as the metaphorical dog chases the rabbit.
You wonder what Carmenâs dog was. Or is. If itâs even a dog at all.
âWhat about you? Whatâs your favorite?â
Youâre pulled from your thoughts. âOh! Um, itâs silly.â You worry at your bottom lip.
âYou donâtââ
âNo, hold on, itâs just,â you push yourself onto the counter with the palms of your hands. Carmen leans back as you swing your legs over the bar, letting your feet rest on the barstool next to him. You lean over, pulling up your pants leg to show the tattoo on the right side of your calf. He stares at it for a moment, confusion clear in his gaze. âSee, I told you.â
âIs it a moth, or something?â
âMoth-man, Carmen. Mothman.â
âAm I supposed to know what that is?â
âHeâs a cryptid. Thereâs literally stories of a Chicago Mothman.â He peers up at you in amusement, causing you to scrunch your face at him. âI swear on my life Carmen Berzatto, donât be an asshole.â
âIâm not.â He laughs, and your chest loosens. You got Carmen Berzatto to laugh. âIt looks good, the style is nice,â he gestures to your leg.
You smile, âThanks.â
Nodding, he goes to sip from his cup. He makes a face, pulling it away from him, âYeah, I donât like this.â
He holds it out to you as you reach for it, laughter spilling from your lips, âMore grass for me.â You drink, and let the cup rest on your thigh, fingers tapping on the plastic lid.
âIâm notâŚâ Your head turns to look at him, watching as he runs a hand through his hair. âIâm not really good at this.â
â...at what?â You whisper, scared if you talk any louder youâll scare him away.
âTalking? Not working? Who the fuck knows,â his hand leaves his hair and passes over his face.
âIâm not either, really.â You pick at your jeans, âBut weâre trying, right? You come by more than I thought you would.â
âReally?â
You snort, âDude, the first time I was surprised you even came in.â Gently, you add, âAnd you donât have to be perfect at conversation to be friends with someone.â His eyes meet yours as you nudge his shoulder with your knee. âIâm weird, youâre weird, thatâs okay.â
Carmen rolls his eyes good naturedly. His legs are bouncing, and you can almost see him chewing the word around before it finally leaves, âFriends?â
âFriends.â You affirm. Silence passes between you, until a growl comes from your stomach.
The man laughs, looking all the prettier for it, âYou hungry?â
âStarving,â you groan.
He gets up from his seat, grabbing his denim jacket thatâs hung over the chair on his left, âCâmon.â
It takes a moment, but it clicks. âOh my god,â you gasp out, hopping off the counter. With a speed you only have during a lunch rush, you run to the back. You untie your apron, hang it up on a hook, and grab your tote bag. âWallet, keys, phoneâŚphone!â
âOut here!â Carmen yells. You grin, rushing back out to the front, bouncing on your heels. âYou good?â
âAs Iâll ever be.â You shake your keys with enthusiasm. He laughs as you both leave, and you turn to lock up. Thereâs excitement buzzing through you, like caffeine would if your brain werenât wired a bit funky. A thought cuts through the haze, âOh shit, I forgot toââ
âI got the trash.â The street lights reflect off his blue eyes.
Your heart twinges a little, âThanks.â
âNo problem.â He gestures with his head, âNow letâs go before your stomach eats itself.â
âHey Carm?!â
The man pokes his head into the office, one hand wrapped around the door, âYeah, what?â
Natalie raises an eyebrow, âYou busy?â
Carmy scoffs, âYeah, Sugar, Iâm busy.â
Itâs lunch time. Marcus has pastries, Tinaâs running prep. Syd is aroundâŚavoiding him. He tries not to think about it for too long. Richie is who knows where.
Fuck, donât be an asshole, asshole.
Deflating, he asks, âWhatâs up? Everything okay?â
âIâm spending my hour of alone time figuring shit out here, while Pete watches the baby.â His sister sighs, glancing down at the paperwork on the desk, âIâm managing. Anyways, thatâs not what I wanted to talk about.â
He wants to ask about the baby. His niece. But Natalie barrels over the topic to say, âWere you here late the other night?â He must have made a face because Natalie sighs, exasperated. âI know you stay later than everyone else, doing god knows what, but I got a notification on my phone the other night-â
âWhat notification?â
She rolls her eyes, âThe alarm system, dummy. I get alerts.â
âNo, yeah, I get that. But I turned it off.â
It could only be from the other night, when he brought you back to the restaurant. Heâs not sure why he did â he almost had a panic attack in front of you while debating what to make. It's strange, how much an environment can affect someone. Nan's feels so comfortable to him now, like nothing can happen to him when he's in those four walls. Where was the last place he felt like that?
You donât need to impress anyone, Carmen. Itâs just me, you had said.
Simple words that cut through him like a knife. You asked for comfort food, so he made you grilled cheese with tomato soup. The little dance you did every time you took a bite relit a fire inside of him that had been burnt out by years of working in kitchens.
âI know. Iâm asking because the alarm was set, and then you turned it off again a few hours later.â Natalie unlocks her phone, showing him her screen that has some app pulled up with timestamps on it. âAre you sleeping? Look, I know things arenât great right nowâ" Natalie cuts herself off with another sigh.
âItâs fine. Things are fine.â At her pointed look, he holds his hands up in surrender. âIâm working on it, okay? JustâŚare you good? Do you need anything?â
âAbout 48 hours of interrupted sleep would be great.â Her gripe falls off into a laugh, which he returns.
Stepping into the room further, he pulls the door closer, just a slim crack of clean white light coming through. âIâve been a shitty brother lately.â
âNoâŚâ Natalie snorts, âOkay yeah, a bit. I love you, though.â
He mumbles the words back, tapping out a rhythm on his thigh, âMaybe I could come by, sometime. See the baby.â Itâs a blessing and curse how his chest aches when he sees the way her eyes light up.
âIâd love that, Bear.â
âYo, delivery!â Marcus yells out, pulling the attention of the Berzatto siblings.
âThe fuck?â There isn't supposed to be a delivery today.
Natalie gets out of her seat, âOh thank god.â She ushers Carmy out of the office, pushing past him into the dining room. He follows after her, confused, only to stop in his tracks.
Youâre here.
You stand next to Richie, talking animatedly, albeit shy. Youâre wearing clothes he doesnât regularly see you in, the worn denim jacket catching his eye in particular. Itâs clear that you aren't working, yet you hold two cups from Nanâs in your hands, a few drink carriers littering a table.
âYouâre literally my savior, thank you.â Natalie pulls you into a hug, and you look at Richie with wide eyes. Carmy has to hold back a snort at your expression.
âYou should expect this reaction by now, kid.â Richie takes a sip from his drink when you gape at him in exaggerated outrage.
âShut up, Richie,â Natalie is barely paying attention, saying the words more out of habit. Grabbing a cup from a drink holder, she says, âYouâre coming home with me.â
Giggles bubble from your lips, and you go to cover them with the back of your arm. Thereâs a pull Carmy feels, instinctual, to urge your arm away from your face and hear your genuine laughter fill the room.
Your eyes meet his, finally noticing that heâs there. The smile you give him is earnest, a gentle hello without words. He forces his feet to move, closing the distance. Carmy blatantly ignores the looks both Richie and Natalie are making. You hold out the cup in your hand - the one you werenât drinking from - and he takes it from you.
Condensation clings to the sides, his name hastily written on the side.
ââşCarmy!âşËâ
Thereâs a heart in place of the dot at the bottom of the exclamation point, little stars doodled around his name. His stomach flips.
âIced?â He swirls the drink in hand, mixing it up.
You shrug, âThought Iâd try something different. Itâs hot outside.â
âYou off?â Bringing the straw to his lips, he hums at the taste. Youâre watching him eagerly, head tilted to the side as you wait for his review. âThis is nice.â
Squinting at him, you huff, âNot perfect, though.â You type something into your phone â most likely to add to your notebook later. âHad to run some more syrup by the shop. Saw Natalieâs car on the street so I texted her to see if she wanted something to drink. I have errands to run after this.â
âYou a regular too now, Cousin?â Richie barks, and Carmy watches as you remember where you are. Who youâre with.
A protectiveness rises up in Carmen, hating the way you recoil into yourself. âFuck off, Richie.â He looks over at you, âHungry?â
âDude, we got shit to do.â
âRichie!â Natalie hisses at the older man, shoving him back toward the kitchen. She calls back to you, âThanks for the coffee! I promise Iâll come by when I feel more like a human again.â
The customer service clicks into place behind your eyes, âTake care of yourself! Hope the baby is doing well!â Once it's just the two of you, you sigh, knocking the heels of your boots together. âI should get going.â
Carmen nods, âCan I grab you a sandwich, first?â
âGrilled cheese?â You tease, stifling a smile.
He huffs, shaking his head, âNah, but Ebraâs got window right now. I could throw something together real quick.â
âYou donât have to do that.â He glances down; youâre pressing your thumb into the middle of your hand. It's uncanny, the semblance of himself that is mirrored in you.
âI know.â He wants to, though. âGive me five minutes?â
A moment of hesitation, then, âOkay.â
âCool.â And heâs off.
Chaos erupts the minute heâs back in the kitchen.
âSince when did the two of you become buddy-buddy?â
âCan we please get back to work? Richie, respectfully, what are you doing back here?â Syd is working on pasta, flour covering her work service.
âI got shoved outta my space, so here I am,â Richie waves his hands around.
The overlapping voices turn into white noise, and Carmy inhales sharply, âFak!â
âYes, chef!â Neil appears out of nowhere. Sometimes Carmen thinks thereâs a series of underground passages that makes it so easy to get ahold of him. Itâs not that crazy of a notion.
âGo and say hello to them, okay? Iâm gonna throw together something, give it to them, and then Iâll be right back.â The last part is meant for everyone to hear, but is pointed more toward Richie. âSeriously, just leave it, alright?â
âIâm leaving it,â Richie snarks, but nudges Fak with his elbow. âThink thereâs a drink out there with your name on it anyway. Snag me another one of those apple-donut-things too, eh?â
âFritters!â Marcus calls out from his station.
Carmy sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. Heâs queasy; heâll have to take some pepto later.
Inhale. Four seconds. Exhale.
Let it rip, Bear.
Neil barrels into you, wrapping you in a hug. He talks your ear off for the next couple minutes; you smile when you need to, laugh when you remember.
The yells from the kitchen are playing on repeat in your ears.
Theyâre talking about you.
The urge to flee tickles the back of your throat. You thought it would be nice to stop by and bring Natalie a coffee, but then you had felt bad about not bringing anything for everyone else, which turned into you jumping behind the bar to make ten drinks. Itâs not like you were going to make Morgan, the barista on shift, make them all.
You always had a hard time not working on your days off.
âYou should absolutely come!â
âYeah, thatâd be nice.â You reply, still not fully checked back into your conversation with Neil.
He smiles, âGreat! Iâll send you the info!â
Before you can ask what you actually agreed to, Carmy pushes back into the room, to-go container in hand. âHey, uh, Fak, can you go take a look at the toilet for me?â You barely notice Neil leave, focusing more on how your chest releases as Carmen walks closer to you.
He hands you the container, and you murmur a soft, âThank you.â
âIâll walk you out, yeah?â
The thought is nice. Glancing behind him, you see Natalie and Richie watching through the window. âItâs okay, you really donât have to.â You take a step back just as Carmy reaches out to you. You canât run, theyâd see you. Ask questions. They probably see a caged animal.
âHey,â he whispers your name, âitâs just me.â Heâs repeating the words you said to him the night you were here. You tear your eyes away from the kitchen, looking at him. âLemme walk you out?â
With a nod, you let him guide you out the front door. The warm summer air washes over your skin, and you take in a deep breath. You count the lines in the sidewalk as you pass them, sipping at your iced latte. âIt was cool of you to come by,â Carmy says. âAnd your jacketâs dope.â
Heâs trying to make you feel better.
âDid you just say dope?â You peek over in his direction, catching his shrug. âYouâre so old.â
âFuck off,â he laughs, and your smile widens.
You make it to your car, a little thing that has a new problem every other week. Itâs been with you for years, moved with you to five different states. More of a sentimental object, than a real mode of transportation. You mostly used CTA these days if you were able, but it was nice to have a car for when youâre running errands all around the city.
âSorry if they bothered you,â he apologizes, shoving his hands in his pockets.
âNo, no, no,â you push out the words, throat tightening, arms hugging your middle. âI thought I was going to try to be a human today. May have jumped the gun on that one.â Fiddling with your keys, you continue, âIt was nice to see you. Thought you might be a vampire or something, since I only ever see you at night.â
The joke causes Carmy to roll his eyes, âIs that considered a cryptid?â
You perk up at the word, âOh, donât get me started.â
He smiles big enough for his dimple to appear, âOh, yeah?â
âUnless you want me to talk for hours on end. Iâll make a power-point presentation and everything.â You might already have one in the works, but he didnât need to know that.
âYou could - I mean, it wouldnât bother me. If you did, you know?â
You blink a few times, frozen in shock. He looks shy, almost. Like the first time you met him, but thereâs something between you now. A plant that will keep growing - might even bloom - if the two of you keep watering it. He keeps pecking away at your carefully crafted walls that let people see exactly how much you want them to.
Carmen Berzatto keeps seeing you. Whoever that is.
He coughs, scratching the side of his head. âIâll see you later?â
âYou know where Iâll be.â
âYeah.â
You walk around to the driverâs side of your car, opening the door. You slide in, turning the key to let your car sputter to life. You roll the windows down, and music starts to blare from your speakers. âKick ass tonight!â You yell the words as you pull away from the curb. You spare a glance in your rearview, watching Carmy wave before he starts walking back to his restaurant.
When you're parked outside your apartment, it hits you. You dig into your tote bag, pushing aside old receipts, chapstick tubes, and fidget toys. You cheer to yourself as you pull your notebook out, favorite pen hooked over the cover. Flipping to the back, you stare at the list of drinks you've had Carmy try.
You think you want to keep seeing him, too. Whoever that is.
You scribble at the bottom of the page, circling it twice.
Spiced Chai ~ HOT, xtra cinn
#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear fanfic#neurodivergent!reader#â moth writes
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To Lean On You | Spencer Reid
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Content Warning: post prison!Spencer, mentions of addiction, prison talk (typical for the prison arc), gun use, mentions of death, suggestive themes, idiots in love, angst, so much angst.
Word Count: 8.6K
Summary: You and Spencer wasted years, truths hidden, feelings uncertain, and a fear of the unrequited. It took ten weeks, isolated, silent, and broken, for the realization to strike. There was no life, if you didnât have each other.Â
A/N: Itâs finally here! Wow, writing this was a wild ride, honestly. Over a month of writing, blood, sweat, and tears poured over it (there were in fact some tears). This is also the first thing Iâve written in 3 years and I'm very happy to finally be out of my slump. It's probably the angstiest thing I've written ever, and at the same time, I feel like it's not the greatest, but deep down, I still love it, haha. Let me know if I've missed any warnings. And, enjoy and any feedback is appreciated. <3
Here are some of the songs I listened to while writing this if you want to get into the mood:
Hearts by Jessie Ware
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift
Lost Without You by Freya Ridings
In This Shirt by The Irresponssibles
masterlist
79 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes - thatâs how long itâs been since he got arrested in Mexico.
70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes since you saw him being pulled out of the courtroom after he was deemed a flight risk and denied bail. 70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes have passed since you last saw him.
65 days, 7 hours, and 11 minutes, since he was transferred to Millburn Correctional Facility, and this whole nightmare, had started.Â
Per Penelopeâs carefully crafted schedule, every team member has made numerous trips to visit Spencer - every member except you. Youâd only made one trip out, and that had been 3 days after heâd been transferred.
March 4th, 2017
Itâs been 8 days since you saw him led in cuffs out of that courtroom, where Penelope had broken down in Lukeâs arms, everyone too shocked to make a sound. Heâd looked back, his eyes meeting yours briefly, and it had been as if youâd almost seen your reflection in the mirror, every emotion had run between you both in a matter of seconds.Â
Shock, youâd almost been sure they would grant bail, and youâd be able to take him home. Almost.Â
Fear, for his future and his well-being. Fear of the uncertain.Â
Desperation, the desire to run to him and take him into your arms, finally, and to not let go.Â
Except youâd held his gaze for as long as you could before youâd looked down and turned your head to save him from seeing you break down in tears. Youâd made a hasty escape after that, not sparing any of your teammates a glance, and walked out of the courthouse, stopping by a tree outside. The urge to curl up into a ball and hide, pretending none of this had happened, was strong, and then a hand wrapped around your shoulder. You had turned around, only to see Rossi and one of his sad little smiles, the ones you rarely saw.
âItâs going to be okay,â heâd said, squeezing your shoulder. âThe kid is strong.â
Youâd sniffled, trying to hide the tears in your voice. âYeah, well, Iâm not sure I am," youâd whispered in despair.Â
You were better than you had been 8 days ago, calmer. Although still heartbroken, you were looking forward to seeing him, seeing with your eyes that he was okay. Garcia had seen him, 2 days ago, before youâd been sent out on a case. Â
âHe looks good. I mean, as good as that big genius brain of his can look in prison. His eyes were sad though, really, really sad.â Sheâd paused as if to assure herself it would be alright, âIâm sure heâs looking forward to seeing you, sweetness.â Sheâd squeezed your hand, but her statement hadnât rung true.Â
Your hands were shaking, you werenât sure what from. The anticipation youâd felt? The nerves? Or the words you had a hard time coming to terms with.
âIâm sorry, but your name isnât on Spencer Reidâs approved visitor list,â the guard at the checkpoint had said after rechecking the list.Â
âThere has to be a mistake, I made an appointment,â you insisted, feeling yourself unravel. It wasnât possible, you knew for a fact you were on that list, Emily had made sure of that.
âLook, lady. There are only 10 names on that list, and yours is not one of them. Now, you need to move, because there are people here waiting to see their loved ones.â youâd hiccuped and turned around, walking to the lockers to unlock your gun, badge, and phone.Â
âIâm here to see a loved one.â Youâd wanted to scream, but you knew it would have been futile. There wasnât anything you could do at that moment.Â
You walked to your car, dialing Emilyâs number, âThis is Prentiss.â Â
For a second, only your breathing could be heard over the sound of the wind, and then a tiny sniffle. You wiped at your eyes and nose, and then spoke up, barely, âWhy am I not on Spencerâs approved visitor list?âÂ
âWhat do you mean? Every member of this team is on the list. So is his lawyer and Diana, even Derek,â you could hear the surprise in her voice, yet you couldnât keep calm any longer.
"They refused to let me see him! I made the appointment, Emily, and I came, hoping Iâd finally see him hear his voice, and ask him-â Your voice broke mid-sentence, and after taking a deep breath, you continued, âAsk him if he was okay, and I was denied because out of the 10 names on that list, it seems mineâs not one of them.â You finished defeated, barely above a whisper.
All was silent for the moment, save for what you could hear was Penelopeâs voice on the other end of the line, quietly asking what was going on, âLet me call Fiona and the warden, and Iâll see what happened. Meanwhile, I need you back here, because we just got a case.â Her voice wasnât leaving anything up for discussion. Still, you couldnât go, not until you saw him.Â
âEmily-â she cut you off.
âItâs not a discussion. Iâll resolve this, but I need you here and your head in the game. Am I clear?â Her voice was stern, but maybe thatâs exactly what you needed. Maybe.
âYeah, clear. Iâm on my way back.â You took a deep breath and started the car and the journey back to Quantico, but your mind stayed right there, on the bars that kept you away from the one thing you held dearest.Â
As it turns out, there was nothing the warden or Fiona could do. Even Emily Prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, couldn't âresolveâ the situation. Days, weeks, and months passed, and for 70 days you couldnât see him, isolated out, not even knowing why.
â-to be in the courthouse in one.â You snapped out of your thoughts, only catching the end of the sentence, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes. You were tired, and it had little to do with the fact that you had been up all night, going over all the evidence with the team and tracing Lindsey Vaughanâs steps to a T in an attempt to exonerate Spencer and finally bring him home.Â
You were exhausted, both physically and mentally. Youâd been up for more than 24 hours now, but then you hadnât been sleeping all that well to begin with. Every single night was spent wondering how Spencer was doing, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw him in that cell in Mexico.Â
His eyes were red, high out of his mind, barely coherent, dirty, and injured - a far cry from the person you were used to seeing every single day - energetic, passionate, and brilliant. After 12 years, if there was one image you wished to erase from your memory, it was this one. Not all the blood youâve seen spilled, every victim, be it men, women, or even children, all the horrors of the job, but this. Maybe it made you a bad person, but there was nothing worse than seeing the one person you held dearest at their lowest and not being able to do anything to stop it.
Every waking hour that you werenât on the job was spent wondering how he was doing and if he was okay. If he was healthy, unharmed, and safe, or as safe as an FBI agent could be in prison. But most of all, the one thing that had kept you up at night, slowly destroying your sanity and making you question everything, had been the one question you couldnât seem to get an answer to.Â
âWhy doesnât he want to see me?â
Youâd asked everyone and had waited with battered breath for an answer, a clarification on the matter, and it never came. As shocked as you had been at the notion that you wouldnât be seeing Spencer for an indefinite amount of time, your team had been even more shocked. They knew the kind of relationship you and Spencer had, how close youâd become over the years, and how much you relied on each other.Â
Youâd asked every team member, youâd asked yourself, youâd even asked Spencer in a few of the letters you wrote to him, and then there had come a point where you just stopped.Â
You were torturing yourself more than enough, day after day, and every single night, asking yourself a question you wouldnât get an answer to. Not as long as he was locked up in that hellhole and you were out here, trying to keep together the pieces of something, that was on the verge of breaking.Â
You felt a hand taking hold of yours, and for a second, you tensed up. Pulled out of your thoughts, you looked up and were met with chocolate brown eyes, full of worry - Emilyâs eyes.Â
You glanced around the room, only to realize it was empty, save for the two of you. You hadnât felt when the others had left, thatâs how deep in thought you had been.Â
âWhere did you go? Iâve been calling your name for a while now,â she spoke gently, squeezing your hand. If you were honest, thatâs the first time she asked you anything about the situation. Youâd spent weeks suffering in silence and trying to pretend that you werenât slowly dying on the inside.Â
You briefly thought about lying, it wouldnât be the first lie youâd told since Spencer had been incarcerated, but you didnât have it in you to hide anymore.Â
And so, for the first time since Spencerâs hearing, you told the truth.
âNothing makes sense anymore, Em,â it left you in a whisper, âIâm barely holding it together. I feel like Iâm drowning sometimes, and just when I breach the surface, Iâm pulled back in. My mind, itâs...I question everything, all the time. My mornings start with thoughts about him, and my nights end with tears over him, over this entireâŚthis nightmare. I keep waiting for my alarm to go off, to wake up and realize that this has been a plot of my imagination, some cruel joke my mind has conjured, designed to show me... "Your eyes welled with tears, prepared to admit something you should have long ago. Emily gave your hand another squeeze, prompting you to continue, and so you did, admitting it for the first time aloud.Â
âDesigned to show me that I canât live a life that doesnât have Spencer in it.â You wiped at your eyes, willing your tears at bay. When you dared to look up, you were met with the eyes of the only other person besides Spencer who has been a constant rock in your life for the last 11 years. What you saw in her eyes then wasnât surprise like youâd thought, but relief. It took you a moment to fully read her, but it was like a switch had gone off when you finally did.Â
âBut youâre not surprised to hear this, are you?â you smiled sadly, a light laugh leaving you.Â
âI wouldnât be a good friend if I didnât have my suspicions, and Iâd be an even worse profiler,â she smiled at you, âPlus, there are some feelings that you just canât hide,â you blinked, and then you blinked again. You hadnât come right out and said it, and yet she knew, she somehow knew.Â
âI didnât mean it like that.â you tried to backtrack, but you knew it was a losing battle. Emily knew you well enough to smell your bullshit from miles.
âThatâs exactly how you meant it, and donât even try to deny it. I see it every damn day. Itâs how you leave the room whenever you hear someone talk about visiting Spencer. You donât want to hear how heâs doing because you wouldnât believe it, not unless you see him with your own eyes. But you canât, so youâve resigned yourself to the torture of not knowing instead of giving yourself the smallest amount of peace by asking. Youâve been suffering in silence for almost three months, too stubborn to say anything, thinking you were doing yourself a favor. And what for? Youâre crying yourself to sleep every night and coming to work the next morning, pretending everything is fine when clearly itâs not. You think youâre fooling everyone, but the only person youâre tricking is yourself. And howâs that working out for you?â she had a point, and itâs not like you werenât aware of that fact. You knew what you were doing wasnât okay or healthy. You had the most stable support system imaginable to get you through the hardest parts. It was hard, though, especially when the person who was suffering the most was the person whoâd taken your heart with him.Â
âWay to call me out, boss.â you were just about ready to end the conversation, you couldnât take any more of this. Youâd promised each other long ago that you wouldnât profile each other but you had a feeling that was exactly what Emily was doing right now. Maybe not on purpose, and with every good intention imaginable, but you didnât want that. You didnât want one of your best friends to try to understand you based on behavioral analysis right after youâd spilled your soul out to her.Â
âJust calling it the way I see it, someone has to,â she smiled, but then she shook her head a little before continuing. âWhat I want to know is why you didnât say something earlier. You know I would have been there to listen, and so would have the team.â Damn, Emily Prentiss.
You didnât have to think hard about it, youâve been ruminating over everything for days. You were trying not to, but whenever your mind wasnât focused on a case or the many drinking nights spent in Penelopeâs purple adobe, that was where your mind would take you.
âOut of fear, I think,â you started, unsure for a second, still nervous to admit it. It wasnât exactly what she was asking, but it was a start, âI was afraid, and I still am. Iâve been baiting myself into thinking it was just some sort of fondness, a little stronger than that which you feel towards a friend, and far lesser than what it actually is. I thought that if I didnât say anything, I could go on lying to myself, and nothing would have to change, we wouldnât have to change. Because words hold meaning, and an admission like that holds weight. What would I have done if it was just me who felt like this? I would have ruined the one thing weâve both cherished for over a decade.â It felt good to finally say all of this out loud instead of holding it inward. But then again, Emily always knew when you'd had enough.Â
Sheâd told you time and time again the same thing Hotch had asked of her when she returned to duty after faking her death: âLet me know when you are having a bad day.â. Honestly, youâd held off long enough, and so had she. It was a whole miracle she hadnât pressed you about your behavior earlier.Â
âThatâs not what I was asking,â you said, shaking your head with a smile to let her know that you werenât done speaking.Â
âEveryone was suffering as a result of what happened in Mexico, what I was feeling wasnât any different, Emily.â You were flippant about it, you always have been. You preferred isolating yourself and hiding everything instead of seeking a shoulder to bear the weight of what you felt.Â
âOur sadness came from the fact that our friend was framed. And yours? Thatâs different.âÂ
âIt isnât,â she scoffed, getting up. Now you really felt like you were about to get scolded like a child.
âYes, it is. God, you and Spencer are the same. Itâs like Iâm looking at his doppelganger without the whole⌠IQ of 187. You share some of the worst qualities a person can have,â you laughed at that, âYou are both changeophobes-â you cut her off
âMetathesiophobia, fear of change.â She only raised her hand at you, as if to say, âSee, you even sound like him,â which made you laugh even more.Â
âYou close yourselves off after a sad or traumatic experience, silently hoping youâd be able to get through the worst of it on your own. Most of the time, itâs evident thatâs not the case. You only ask for help when youâve reached rock bottom or have no other choice, but youâve had a choice from the get-go. Your stubbornness even stems from the same anxieties, itâs infuriating,â she seemed to calm down then, in defeat maybe, or she hadnât been mad, to begin with, she sat down again.Â
âMy point is, it shouldnât have taken you learning that he might be coming home today to tell me all of this. Iâve known for a long time that there was something far more than platonic friendship on your end. You shouldnât have tortured yourself since his trial to try to put the puzzle pieces together. You arenât late, you have all the time in the world to say what you feel and what you want, and rejection shouldnât be a factor, believe me. You need to make peace with that fear because Spencer is coming home today. And whether you are ready or not, you both need to have a serious conversation.â You appreciated her determination about Spencer being released, but then again, you had more than circumstantial evidence to support the fact that he was innocent. But, as always, Emily was right. He was coming home today, and after months of not seeing each other, there were a lot of things you needed to say.Â
âI know. Thank you, Emily, for everything,â you whispered, squeezing her tight.Â
Spencerâs POV
The first breath of fresh air after being on the inside for months felt far more overwhelming than he thought it would be. Being in charge of your being and your responses and emotions felt almost unnatural like the feeling of it didnât belong to him. The sound of the wind and the traffic, peopleâs voices, and even the simple act of getting comfortable in the leather seats of the jet overwhelmed any ability to concentrate and think straight.Â
In itself, it was strange. The prison was loud, the prison commissary at breakfast, lunch, and dinner was a cacophony of prisoners talking, cells being opened, and guards barking orders. The yard was loud too, although, in the middle of nowhere, nature could still be heard - the sounds of trees and the lone birds, if he had to guess a mix of Mourning Dove and Field Sparrow. Their songs were soothing most of the time, a welcome distraction from the usual noises around him.Â
Without the atmosphere heâd gotten used to and subjected to all of those sounds and people whose presence he found comforting before, he now felt almost out of place. He wanted to feel at peace, he wanted to feel free, and although he technically was, his mind was more trapped than heâd actually been in that 2 by 2 cell in cellblock C.
He kept replaying some of the hardest moments from his time in, every threat, every punch heâd gotten, and the phantom feel of the fists connecting. Luisâ blood on his hands, the smell of bleach incorporated with the drugs, the tip of the sharpened toothbrush embedding into his thigh. All heâd done to survive, harm, and more harm, only to make it out alive.Â
He barely recognized himself. Heâd deliberately ignored looking at himself in the small plastic mirror in his cell, for fear of seeing what heâd had to become. Gone was the Spencer whoâd use his brain to get out of situations, whose obliviousness more often than not helped to balance his intellect with the socially acceptable. Gone was the bubbly personality of a kid excited to share a plethora of facts with his friends.Â
In his place sat a man, tormented by the reality of the hatred felt towards him. The reality of being a pawn in a game whose complexity could have been his downfall. A man whose genius, as much of a blessing, could sometimes be a curse. A man who had felt too much and was made to experience far more loss than his quaint heart was able to take. In the end, he kept losing, be it his father, by no choice of his own. His mentor, at the hands of a killerâs insanity. His friends and loved ones, hoping for a better life or his freedom, made to rot in a place he didnât deserve to be in.Â
Some would doubt that he had anything at all left to lose. All in all, how much more could the scrawny twelve-year-old child prodigy, left to survive in a public high school, take?Â
His mind had been plagued by that question for years. Heâd thought about that more than heâd like to admit. After every loss, thereâd been a split moment where heâd asked himself what was next. What would be the next thing life would take from him? And every time, heâd had to wonder if, next time, life wouldnât reach for the one thing he couldnât allow to be taken from him. The one thing that, were he to lose, heâd never recover. He had hoped, sometimes prayed, that after everything heâd seen, everything heâd lived through, this would be the one thing thatâd be spared.Â
Locked in that cage, heâd tried even harder to ensure that there wouldnât be another loss in his life - not anymore. Be it good or bad, heâd done everything. For 70 days, heâd had to assure himself he was doing what he thought was right, and what he wasnât saying, heâd be forgiven for. Heâd had to dodge questions and see the disappointment in his friendâs eyes, and when that wasnât enough of a burden to bring all of his anxieties to the surface, heâd resigned himself to reading the words of the person he was doing all of this for - you.Â
Heâd reread every letter to the point where the edges of the papers were worn out, even though heâd known the contents by heart on the first read. He tortured himself by looking at your handwriting, analyzing the slanting of the words and the pressure of the pen. The little stains on the paper, he didnât have to be a genius to know, were your tears. It broke his heart, to know he was causing you this much pain. He didnât need to be there to see it, he felt it through your words.
He often questioned if it was worth it, if he was protecting you, or himself, or maybe even what you were or werenât.
Even now, the weight of your words sat heavily on his mind, and right by his heart, in the pocket of his jacket, he felt the weight of the 9 letters you wrote.Â
As he looked over from the little window of the jet, he couldnât help but wonder if, in his desire to shield you from everything, he hadnât gone too far. Ultimately, was he going to be forgiven, or be forced to pick up the pieces of the reality broken by his own doing?
âDonât do that.â JJâs gentle voice startled him from the overwhelming nature of his thoughts. Sheâd spent the last 30 minutes since they boarded silently observing him, waiting for him to pick up a conversation. But heâd decided to stay num.Â
In every twitch of his fingers, in his desire to get comfortable but being unable to, she could see that he was restless. If she had to guess, his mind was much the same.Â
âDo what?â
She gave him a look, one, had he not known her long enough, he might have been offended by. Clearly, she was offended herself, watching him play the clueless card.Â
âSpence, I donât need to profile you to know that your mindâs running a thousand miles a minute, contemplating your decisions, and I donât think you should. You did what you thought was right, and no one blames you for that, not for Mexico, and not for what you did after,â she spoke evenly, gathering even Penelope and Alvezâs attention from where they sat. He looked over, receiving a smile and a nod from both before focusing on JJ again.Â
Rationally, he knew she was right about everything. He didnât need to run himself ragged with everything he could have done differently, or search for the perfect way to explain, or overall, the perfect outcome of his own decisions. He knew there wasnât one, there was no perfect way to say what he needed to, no perfect words to pick so he could fix this and erase the pain he knew heâd caused.Â
Perfection wasnât something you could strive to achieve, because thereâs no such thing as perfection. The term was diverse, everyone had a different perspective on what that might look like. If for JJ, perfection was the family that waited for her at home every time she returned from a case, for Spencer, perfection was vastly different.Â
For him, perfection was the rich aroma of coffee that could cause someoneâs insulin to spike because of the amount of sugar in it. The softness of a book page between his fingers, or the familiarity of a book heâd read before but needed to revisit.Â
Perfection was the sound of your laugh whenever he was the one to prompt the sound. The way your eyes lit up every time you listened to him babble on. Perfection was the time he got to spend with you every day, every hour, and every minute that he could remember with almost scary accuracy.Â
He could sit and wonder what the perfect way to go about this was, but there simply wasnât one, there was only the truth. And as painful, hopeful, or even a little dumb as it was, that was the best he could give.
And maybe thatâs what his mind should focus on instead, the truth, in its simplest form, at its core the truth heâd hidden for months, and then the truth heâd hidden for years.Â
He had wondered long enough if heâd made the right choice. He spent plenty of time focusing on the shame heâd felt, prompted by the disappointment heâd seen in his friendsâ eyes whenever they brought up your name. How heâd sit, silent, or give an answer so short and angry, itâd add even more shame to the one he already felt.Â
Beyond his time in prison, where he spent most of his time questioning his decisions, he spent years before that questioning himself as a person. His place on the team, his intelligence, even his failings. His inability to form relationships where heâd be seen as more than Dr. Reid, or the skinny kid, pretty boy, or a genius. A relationship thatâd make him feel like simply Spencer, without the added adjectives, that sometimes made him feel like a circus clown.Â
Only when heâd been locked up, had he started to realize that heâd finally built a relationship with someone with whom he could be himself. The most basic, boring, and peaceful version of himself, and slowly, all had started falling into place.Â
How content he felt whenever he was around you, the desire to tell you every good or bad news he received. How when you asked about his mother, it warmed his heart, or how worried he felt when you acted stupid in the field. How out of control heâd felt when youâd gone missing last year. Or even, at the time, the unexplained jealousy heâd felt seeing you talk with another man.
Morgan had asked, once, twice, a lot, if maybe he didnât have a crush, but heâd denied it, every time. And every time heâd question himself, he'd dismiss the idea just as quickly.Â
Yet, upon being forced away from you, the pieces had started mending into one.Â
Every realization heâd had was like a new broken piece being glued to the overall mosaic. And every new piece added built everything he felt about you. And it was a lot, and it was overwhelming, and so, so right, it sometimes felt wrong. Because he was inside a prison of his own doing, and you were out there, made to wait for him, for an explanation, for the truth.Â
And heâd vowed to himself that the moment he was out, heâd put everything on the table, no matter how much heâd fucked up or how much heâd hurt you. Heâd sit there, and heâd let it out, and if necessary, heâd even beg for your forgiveness.Â
Because there wasnât a moment in this life, he wanted to live through, without you there with him.
Your POV
You pulled the trigger, your eyes focused, and your hands steady. Three consecutive shots were fired, each one hitting its intended target. Three more followed, and then as many as it took to empty the magazine.Â
You put down the gun and took a deep breath, steadying your heartbeat, trying to rid yourself of the deep-seated anxiety you felt. An odd sense of calm overtook you whenever you found yourself at the shooting range. Maybe it was the everpresent scent of gunpowder or the quiet only disturbed by the firing of a gun. Or even the possibility of escaping your rising thoughts, the desire to run or scream, sometimes both.Â
There was a sense of solitude there that almost made it easier to breathe. The repetitive motion and the weight of the gun in your hands felt like second nature.Â
Front sight, trigger press, follow through, just like Hotch had taught you all those years ago. As long as you held that gun, your mind was quiet, and you focused on something other than the worry you felt.Â
It made sense you found yourself there shortly after Emily had shared the long-awaited good news - Spencer was finally free, and JJ, Penelope, and Luke were on route back with him. For a short moment, youâd felt the weight being lifted from your chest, and then it dropped again, now tripled.Â
Suddenly, your earlier conversation with Emily had gotten as real as the target before you. Even with the sense of peace, youâd felt after, your thoughts on the matter clear, you still felt a sense of dread at the idea of seeing him.Â
As if he wasnât your best friend, the man whoâd long ago won your affection and captured your heart, but rather a stranger who held your future in his hands. And he might as well be, because whatever the truth to the questions you wanted answered was, one thing was for sure.
Itâd either make or break you both.
You picked up a new magazine, and loaded the gun, aiming at the target before releasing the safety. Before you fired again, you released a breath, and with it, all the feelings within you - fear, uncertainty, yearning, and the sense of madness, which, although mild, was persistent.
You fired once, twice, your aim impeccable, and then, out of nowhere, you missed.Â
The hair at the back of your neck rose, your heart rate quickened, and the feeling of anotherâs presence in the room was unmistakable. It took you just a second to put the pieces together, the intrusion felt like anything but that.Â
Instead, for a brief moment, the person brought with them a familiar feeling of calm. In the next instance, though, reality came crashing like a tidal wave, and you knew youâd run out of time.Â
Your hands shook as you put down the gun. You could feel him watching you, probably standing next to the door, as if he couldnât will himself to move closer. The anxiety was palpable in the air, although you couldnât really say if it was yours or his, most likely, it was a mix of both.
You went to reach for your protection but hesitated. Once you took it off, thereâd no longer be an excuse for you to ignore him, youâd finally have to meet the reality heâd so carefully crafted for you.
Even though you felt like you could barely breathe, the desire to finally lay your eyes on him won out.Â
Without missing another beat, you took off your earplugs and then your eye protection. You could faintly hear the sound of shoes squicking against the floor. He could never stay still when he was nervous. Â
You picked up on the sound of your own breathing too, the beating of your heart was almost erratic. You were waiting, what for, you werenât sure.Â
He was waiting too, for you to turn around, to lay his eyes on you. Like a sadist, waiting to see the pain heâd caused, or a masochist, wishing for his own in turn.Â
70 days of slowly killing you both.
When you finally dared to turn around, it took you a moment to fully take him in. He looked like the Spencer you knew, yet there was something different about him too. Dressed in his usual suit and tie outfit, he didnât look comfortable. His posture was rigid, almost defensive. It wasnât a conscious decision, that much you were sure of.
His hair was longer, pushed back, curling at the ends, and heâd lost some weight. Not much, but enough to make an impression after all this time. He looked pensive, like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders, but maybe it was just the weight of the consequences he had to face.
Your eyes ran over every inch of him multiple times, intentionally avoiding his gaze for as long as possible. Seconds and minutes passed, and you werenât really sure how much exactly.Â
Spencer knew, though, of course, he did. If his fear of meeting you eye to eye was as great as yours was, you knew he was counting until the torture of the act itself was over.Â
89 seconds heâd counted, although now with you there, they felt longer than the days without you did.Â
When you eventually met his gaze, you felt a part of your heart chip on the inside. What people said about the eyes being a portal to one's soul couldnât have been more right in that moment. Spencer, a man who excelled at hiding his emotions when he really wanted to, had let them out as clear as day for you to see.Â
His eyes sparkled with so much sadness and guilt that it threatened to take you apart even before he had the chance to talk. Something softened within you at that moment, but in the next instance, it was like someone else took over.Â
One moment you wanted to cry for him or with him, and the next you felt like your whole being needed to be let out.Â
âIs thatâŚis that all you can offer me right now? More of your silence? Donât you think Iâve had enough of that?â The questions, a few of many to follow, had a bite to them.Â
His face fell a little, taken aback by your tone. He fidgeted with his fingers, unsure what to say, or where to start. How could he answer your question? He pictured a scenario where his words flew freely, where he gave you an explanation worthy of forgiveness and a confession, so earnest that it ended with you in his arms.Â
Try as he might, the words didnât come to him, just a barely audible accusation.Â
âThatâs not fair.â
You scoffed, as if in outrage. A madness, one born out of so much heartbreak, took over, it was blinding. If someone had asked you to explain yourself, youâd say that wasnât you. Youâd never be so forward, almost cruel, to him, but at that moment, being mad sounded so much better than being vulnerable. Like a shield, you werenât ready to let go of yet.
âHow exactly is this not fair, Spencer? Itâs the truth!â you yelled, and you felt free, finally letting it all out. âYou want to know what isnât fair, though? The way you isolated me OUT of your life! For three months, Iâve had to stand on the sidelines and beg for scraps, just to know you were okay. Every pitiful look Iâd get from the people I consider family felt like another stab to the heart. Thatâs whatâs not fair!â You were screaming so loud. It was a good thing the range was soundproof, otherwise, the whole of the BAU would have been deep in your business by now.Â
If he looked surprised by the accusation, he didnât really show it. His posture took a turn, though. The rigidity disappeared, and in turn, it opened, as if the need to comfort you overpowered the uncertainty or the mask heâd had to hold while imprisoned.Â
You didnât want his comfort, not right now. Maybe later, when all was said and done, youâd get to have a normal conversation without the frustrations of the past. At that moment, you just wanted everything out of your system. You wanted the questions, the answers, and the truth.Â
His silence continued as he started closing the distance between you. You wanted to move, to create more distance, but there was nowhere to go. You were squeezed between the range, and him. Whatever else was left than to continue begging for clarity.
âItâs not fair being sent away the first time I came to see you. To learn you didnât want to see me! Each time it was my turn to visit you, do you want to know where I was? I sat outside that fucking prison, wishing for a glimpse of the person whoâs been my rock for 12 years! Holding back tears, thinking you didnâtâŚyou didnât care like I did. Is this what I really deserve after 12 years by your side?â You almost slipped, you almost told him, and maybe you should have, it might have prompted him to talk or to say something. But no, he stayed silent. Step after step, he limped, his cheek twitched, and his brows furrowed, but like a coward, he remained quiet.Â
He was meters away from you, three more steps, and heâd completely close the distance, and meet you face to face.Â
âSay something, Spencer, damn it!â Your throat burned from the strain, and he advanced even more. âAnything,â you finished in a whisper, and all of a sudden, all the fight left you, and your eyes watered and your vision went blurry.Â
He was just a step away then, and when you looked into his eyes, you couldnât help but see how they shined.Â
He reached forward, one hand taking hold of your arm while the other went to hold your waist, but you shook your head. âNo, Spencer, please,â you whispered. You didnât want to find yourself in his arms, because that would be the last of your composure, gone. Youâd surrender to the feel of him like you even had a choice not to.Â
He didnât stop, not until you were snug into his arms, one of his hands at the back of your neck, holding your head tenderly, but the arm around your waist held onto you as if he was scared youâd slip away from him.Â
Once in his arms, you finally let go, breaking down into pieces, hoping heâd be able to hold them all from crumbling to the ground.Â
âHey, shh, itâs okay. Iâve got you.â He kept repeating, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your pulse point. All the while, you could only stand, your arms at your sides, as if paralyzed.
Being in his arms felt like being home somehow. It felt so right after having been deprived of the feeling for so long. It felt like there was nothing wrong, and nothing could go wrong at that moment.Â
Even though you hadn't initially wanted his comfort, somewhere deep inside, you craved his tender touch. You craved the feel of his body near and the faint scent that was so uniquely him - a mix of coffee, fall, and old paper, books. You realized then that you craved the sound of his voice too, another part of him youâd been deprived of.Â
The voice of the always rambling boy that never failed to bring a smile to your face, even when you couldnât understand him sometimes.Â
And the more he whispered, his voice broken and shaky, the harder you cried. Youâd thought nothing could match the heartbreak of his actions or the anger of his silence, but the reality of being held against him brought the realization that your suffering mirrored his own.Â
If youâd been dying on the inside for months, heâd been on the other side of the link holding you tethered to each other, dying just as much.Â
And you couldnât hold yourself back any longer after that. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, and your arms finally circled his waist underneath his suit jacket, fisting the back of his shirt as if it were your one lifeline.Â
You felt him exhale when you finally returned his touch, most likely in relief, before he dropped a light kiss on your head.Â
You cried for the relief of having him back and close. For unspoken truths and time wasted, years of figuring out feelings clear as day. For all the anger, for all of his silence, for all you felt for him.Â
He cried for all the pain heâd caused you and for all the time heâd wasted being alone instead of being with you. He cried for himself, he cried for you, and he cried, overwhelmed by his feelings for you.Â
You clung to one another, crying, and minutes were passing and neither of you cared. Not when you had each other.Â
After a while, when both your tears dried out and your cries quieted, but you still felt the need to hold each other close, you dared to murmur a broken âWhy?â hoping heâd hear, hoping heâd understand.Â
It didnât take him long to mumble a reply, no longer silent.Â
âAll the words in the world available, and I wish I could explain.â it came out just as quietly, both of you scared to break the little bubble youâd found yourselves in.Â
You pulled back from him, wanting to look into his eyes, red-rimmed and still sparkling when you felt yourself begging again.Â
âThen try, please, because Iâd rather know, and not understand, than not know at all.â And it was the truth. He could speak in riddles if he wanted, but you needed to know why heâd made that choice.Â
You looked at him expectantly before he pushed a piece of hair back, and his hand once again settled at the back of your head, gently cupping it.Â
âI wanted you safe from a world you didnât belong in,â he admitted on an exhale, like a lifelong secret heâd gotten tired of holding onto.Â
You looked at him in wonder, and it was on the tip of your tongue to tell him he didnât belong in that world either, but just as you opened your mouth to speak, he shook his head.Â
âI was ashamed when I had you removed from the visitorâs list. I didnât want you to see me like that, like a criminal,â he started, pulling you into his arms, not wanting to admit it to you eye to eye, out of fear of being right. Of course, he was wrong, but that didnât stop him from wondering.Â
âThe first time JJ visited me, they leered at her like they were being fed fresh meat, taking her in, committing her to memory. A cage full of animals. I knew then that I didnât want that for you, and any guilt I had at keeping you away disappeared that day. It hurt me, knowing I was failing you and whatever trust you had in me,â he whispered, wishing to keep the reality of his thoughts and his feelings in a little bubble as if you only existed in it.
âIâm not the same person I was before, I couldnât be him, even if it meant losing a part of myself in the process. I couldnât really be a decent human being without bearing the consequences. Everything I saw, everything I did, and everything that was done to me, I donât think Iâd ever fully be the person I was before. And that too, Iâm thankful I spared you from seeing.â It would explain his rigidity, a defense mechanism heâd had to get used to.Â
And while everything heâd said thus far was true the biggest truth, heâd had yet to say. He had yet to really explain why heâd done what heâd done in the first place. He was stalling, still afraid, but the longer he held you, the longer he felt your heart beating in time with his, the more sure he became.Â
To hell with the consequences, to hell with whatever happened after, he was right here in the now, alive, breathing, his arms around you, finally at peace.Â
He pulled back, took your face into his hands, and finally whispered.
âMost of all, though, I knew I loved you enough to risk us if it meant keeping you safe.â It left him in a rush, a confession waiting to be let out for months. A feeling heâd had for years, and a moment where he could finally be open about it.Â
âWhatâŚ?â you licked your lips, shocked that you might not have heard him correctly. âWhat does us mean?â This part of the conversation felt like you were daydreaming about it, it just didnât feel real.Â
âIt means whatever you want it to be. Whatever you want us to be.â All of a sudden, it was that simple.Â
âSo, you love me?â You had a hard time taking it all in, yet your heart fluttered in pure happiness. âAnd youâŚyou want us?âÂ
"Yes.â Even before you were done speaking, he was already answering. He was desperate to finally admit he was absolutely smitten by you.Â
Months of figuring out your feelings, years of hiding them, a conversation to finally prompt a confession out of you, and all this time it was reciprocated. You could have cried, happiness like no other coursing through you, pure bliss.Â
You wanted back into his arms, you wanted to kiss him so badly that your blood was burning from the need to feel him like you'd never been able to before. And yet, you knew there was something else you needed to do before you could finally do it.
âSpence, you donât push away the people you love, no matter the cost. You rely on their love to help aid you when youâre at your lowest.â You gave his sides a light squeeze before you looked back into his eyes, only to see them hopeful and uncertain at the same time.
He looked hopeful, for the possibility that you might actually love him back, but uncertain because it felt like you might be pushing him away this time.Â
âI canât go through this again. Having to watch you wither away, in prison, at home, or by your own thoughts, I wonât be able to handle being pushed away again,â whispers, cries, pleas, memories full of heartbreak intertwined with present confessions full of joy.Â
His eyes watered then, his lips trembling. Any sign of hope was gone, and in itsâ place stood the realization of a man whoâd maybe gone a little too far. Heâd pushed you away, and now, it was your time to be the one sticking and twisting the knife deep, breaking his heart in the process.Â
If someone were to ask him at that moment what his biggest regret was, heâd say this. This was his biggest regret, his own choices.Â
A tear escaped him, and you reached up, wiping it away gently before you spoke again.
âIf..if this is going to go anywhere, you need to rely on me. You need to believe that I can handle anything and everything, just as long as you are by my side. All those years of being pushed away - your addiction, Maeve and Gideonâs deaths, your momâs diagnosis, Cat Adams - you werenât alone then, you arenât alone now, and you wonât be alone in the future. Youâll always have me by your side, youâll always have my support. Most of all, youâll have my love, but when things get hard, I need you to lean on me, and trust that I can help you because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together.â You finished on an exhale, full-on crying now. You could barely see him, but from the little you could, you saw tears streaming down his face, and a smile that grew wide, happy.
Those words, he knew them word for word. For 13 days, heâd repeat them, no longer needing to see them written down, he had them engraved in his brain. Your letters he could recite, but your final one heâd remember as long as he lived.Â
âI promise to lean on you and trust that youâd help me because together we can pull through everything, anything is possible as long as we are together,â he whispered back, his eyes searching yours for just a moment before he pulled you in, and finally, his lips met yours.Â
He kissed you, tentative at first, testing the waters. He wanted to take his time, commit your lips to memory, gentle, and plump, exactly how heâd imagined theyâd feel. The more he kissed you, the more he couldnât stop. Passion, urgency, desire - his kisses turned desperate like he wanted to swallow you whole and never let you go.Â
He bit your lip gently, asking for access, before his tongue intertwined with yours and he pulled you flush against him, closing any gap left between you. Chest, hips, there wasnât an inch where you werenât touching.Â
It felt so familiar, even though you hadnât kissed before. So right, like no one's kisses had felt before. As if your whole lives, kissing each other was the missing piece in a complicated puzzle, waiting to be put together. Coming together as one, it felt magnetic, a feeling of euphoria, pure ecstasy, no one else mattered, no other feeling mattered at that moment, other than your hands on each other and your lips locked together.Â
Time was passing by, and you didnât care. Years of missed opportunities, hidden feelings, and long-awaited realizations all led to this moment. Starved for each other, a kiss full of fervor and even the taste of tears was present. Unimaginable, but very real.
When you finally pulled apart, he wiped your tears, and you wiped his in turn, before he gathered you back in the comfort of his arms, laying a kiss on the side of your head.
And between the four walls around you, nestled in each otherâs arms, the place where no one could touch you, in a shared breath you both whispered.Â
âI love you.âÂ
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