#yeah i'm binary. yeah i'm a guy. but like i don't identify with cis maleness. being trans is part of my manhood

[sheogorad]

is passing a win for my safety and security? yes. is passing also a fat L for how people view and treat me in the world when it comes to making friendships with women/femmes? yes! like literally i'm one of the gworls. LET ME HANG OUT LET ME IN!!!

[matoitech]

it’s obviously important for ppl to criticize misogyny particularly transmisogyny in trans male communities since thats a trans community issue but if ur also tme and the only thing u ever exclusively talk about trans men for is talking abt us as bigoted misogynists (usually there’s a ‘binary’ slapped in front of it) i genuinely think you need to put the phone down go outside and remember that whatever insane misogynist guys online are saying is not a necessarily a reflection of like things adult men outside of a weird fringe group of freak transmisogynist dudes on tumblr who think the boys should get our own word JUST like the GIRLS or its NOT FAIR!! or whatever (and one coined by a fucking terf at that..) are saying, or justification for behaving weirdly about an entire diverse community of trans people.

again i do not say this to like dissuade ppl from discussing legitimate problems but like a couple points- 'binary' trans men r capable of talking about it ourselves, and we do, and we’re not the ones whose posts get shared about it. and second: if you’re only bringing us up to talk abt how shitty particularly TRANS men are you might have a problem you need to deal with? this is not a shocking statement. like at some point someone has to point it out to you and sit there and take the shit and patiently explain to you it’s that the problem comes when its literally the ONLY thing you bring us up for and act like we're not capable of talking abt this ourselves, and that its a problem how comfortable ppl r for letting ppl speak over/for us if the only similarity they share w trans men is.. an agab and not being cis (yikes!). or if theyre transmasc and male aligned in some capacity but dont have any interest in engaging with or considering themselves a part of like trans men, THEYRE the ones who need to talk abt it, bcuz the (usually 'binary') Trans Men wont (not saying those ppl cant or shouldnt but they may be treated differently for doing so)

first ppl liked using transmeds existing to throw up justification for treating us like a bigoted monolith you (uniquely) Just Dont Feel Safe Around and its normal to make assumptions abt us being transphobic especially if we don't identify by labels deemed 'safe' and Inherently More Radical, and now its pretending we all collectively cant recognize our privilege thru our intense blinding hatred of women and its up to you to save us from ourselves and beat some common sense into the inherently bigoted stupid about gender patriarchy dicksucker boys. like i dont know im tired of it when trans men being accused of only existing bcuz we want to be patriarchy bootlickers i guess is always what radfems have thrown at us, so its not like this negative perception of trans men filtered thru a supposedly progressive lense is new. a lot of adult trans men dont talk abt like particular hot shit thats discussed a lot on here rn (the 'trans misandry' shit for example) bcuz its was not a problem in the spaces we're in and we knew it was stupid as fuck right away and barely worth talking about to say 'yeah you know that thing we all know is stupid and bullshit? its stupid and bullshit'. bcuz we're not fifteen years old or weird misogynists. we have brains, don't hate women, and we dont all know and hang around the same people.

anyway dont take this post as a stand in for serious discussion and calling out misogyny (again especially transmisogyny) w other men, those posts do need to exist, i am not trying to say this stuff shouldnt be talked about. what i'm specifically pointing out is a frustrating pattern in the perception of and discussion of trans men that ppl probably dont realize theyre participating in. i do think it is very important to talk abt community issues and criticisms but if its literally the one thing you bring up trans men for i think being aware of that behavior has no NEGATIVES here. also do have to bring up i specified other tme ppl early on bcuz this isnt smth ive experienced or seen from transfems and their position as like the affected party of transmisogyny is automatically like .. if they have issues w trans men it is pretty inherently coming from a different place than like, a cis womans, or a tme nonbinary person, or a transmasc person with issues with trans men, or a cis mans, etc. tme ppl who are on a very different ground here, whose behavior is straight up different anyway

[sunnylittlebisexual]

Had a 🎊Gender Crisis🎊 at 2am and You All get to Witness it!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪

but anyway i realized I never feel male??????....EVER. like it's been months and months and I haven't felt male once???? Have I felt masculine? Definitely. Have I bound my chest to be flatter? Sure. Have i been a Little Guy but not a Man?? YES!! Have I felt genderless? Yeah. Have I felt female and also less female? Yep. Have my pronouns been he/him at least once in the last while too? Absolutely!! I'm so confused!!! I don't feel totally non-binary though...Am I a demigirl? CAN i be a demigirl and use he/him pronouns on occasion??! Am I just some Cis who likes to wear baggy/comfy clothes???? Wtf!!! Have i been lying to myself (or others) about feeling male??? Am I an imposter?? Would it be bad or wrong if I'm unlabeled for a time??? Fuck!!! 😰😰😰

TL;DR: I don't identify as genderflux anymore because I don't ever feel male

[catbountry]

I'm still thinking about this, and really, I think the biggest reason I don't identify as enbie is that I'm fine with my pronouns and my name. If I changed either, I'd probably forget and be confused and I'd go back to normal because it's what I'm used to. Practically nothing would change and I really wouldn't see the point as openly identifying myself as such if I don't have a preference towards using "they/them." I mean, I guess if you want to use it for me, that's fine, but I'm used to she/her. I have absolutely no problem with it. People have used "he/him" on me in public, mistaking me for a trans man, or perhaps a very shapely cis male child. I feel bad when people use those pronouns for me because I know they're trying to be supportive and they're usually very polite and seem very sweet, but it was something I preferred to smugly correct people who came across as more sheltered or conservative when they saw me presenting all androgynous or butch, and have a little giggle afterwards. Now, it's not fun, even if they're still making assumptions about my gender identity. Christ, I can see why some people have those pronoun pins now.

So really, I'm thinking what's the point of changing my label if my name, my pronouns, and my presentation all remain the same? I don't have any kind of body dysphoria. I just feel most comfortable presenting butch, and I present butch so hard that I get clocked for being a lesbian or a trans man. But I kind of vibe with the idea of being nonbinary because regardless of whether I continue to identify as cis, or change to being enbie, I am most comfortable when I'm seen as androgynous. I'd rather have somebody have a crush on me because they like me as a person, rather than observing my appearance or the shape of my body and seeing it as female and just being like AWOOGA A GIRL??? I don't mind being seen as a woman or a girl though, but I think I might have some hesitancy to allow myself to be seen as sexually desirable... but most of that boils down to anxiety. If I could somehow be assured that every single guy that flirted me was not some sort of weird creepo, I'd probably be more comfortable with it, but given just how badly I feel I've been burnt over my previous relationship... I'm kinda scared. And I don't want to always be fearing the worst and potentially pass up on somebody that could make me happy, but only if I found just the right guy that just... I dunno... clicks.

Sorry. This is something I have been thinking about lately, my relationship with my own gender. I don't really know if there's a clear-cut answer. I've pondered it several times, but also it doesn't feel like something I want to proclaim to the world and slap that on my chest as my label because I still very strongly identify with the female experience. Also, a part of me really likes it that cis people are comfortable enough to break rules with gender roles and presentation. I think that's based, actually? Especially if they're also straight. It kind of holds up a lot of these cultural norms and expectations as just a thing we made up, and that there aren't any rules. There shouldn't be any rules about who gets to do what with their body. It makes me feel comfortable continuing to just say I'm a cis, straight woman, even though I don't look like one. But I guess that's the point... what does a cis, straight woman look like? What does a lesbian look like? A trans man? A non-binary person? Yeah, obviously the trans men are the ones with the highest likelihood of having beards. But if you're nonbinary and you have your breasts removed but never take any hormones... that's gender affirming care, isn't it? Sometimes I think about how I'd like a breast reduction. That I'd probably feel more comfortable with myself if my tits were smaller. Not gone. Just smaller.

It's a lot to think about, but I think I'll land on something eventually. For now, I'm going to turn it over in my mind. I've always been the type of person who does certain things out of practicality or utility, and I'm more thinking of the function of the label itself, and how much it would affect my day-to-day life, or my interpersonal relations. I'm not transitioning to anything. I have just always been like this and I'm wondering if that alone is enough where I could be like "hey, I'm enbie!" But also I don't want to have to try and explain what a nonbinary person is to my mom because she's going to act all weird about it, and even if I did decide to have that label, I don't really see much point in telling her. It'd be something that I'd be open about with my friends, or the sister who lives with me. I don't think I would buy pride-flag pins. I dunno, I'd rather have dumb pins that are referencing things that I like or things I find funny. I don't know. I think I'm probably overthinking this.

Gender is a fuck.

This is the third time I am writing this post because I feel like the idea I'm trying to convey keeps slipping away from me as I keep piling on context, and really, all it is... is just making excuses. I held transmed beliefs and questioned the validity of nonbinary gender identities back on Kiwi Farms. Now, I feel like if circumstances were slightly different, I probably would identify as enby.

Honestly.

The only reason I don't is because my feelings towards being a woman are pretty neutral. All of my problems I had in regards to gender growing up was not so much being a girl, but being constantly told by other girls and older women that I was being a girl wrong. Being a woman is perfectly fine with me; it's the sexism and policing of what is acceptable gender expression I have a problem with.

I don't think I can fully identify as queer, even though most of my friends are and I feel like they get me, so I feel perfectly at home. At the end of the day, I am fine with being a woman, and I am exclusively attracted to men. And I hate to say it, but it's cis men and maybe AMAB enbies who are okay with presenting more masculine. I just really, really like dicks. I don't really like vaginas, even though I imagine most people who would look at me and how I dress myself would assume that I am. And I know this, because I have been called homophobic slurs in public.

Is simply being gender nonconforming enough to be queer? I'm not sure, because I don't know if I'd ever be in a relationship that would be in danger because of legislation being passed. I could, however, see myself getting shit for my gender presentation, because I get people trying to clock me as either a trans man at the start of their transition or genderqueer. I'm in a pretty blue state, in a college town, surrounded by a lot of people younger than me who are overall much more accepting than I had been at their age, though, so realistically, I'm probably not in danger of being targeted for possibly being queer. Would that make me queer adjacent, though? I don't fucking know, but at the same time... I feel at home hanging around a bunch of queer folks. One of my friends joked that I'm straight, but I'm pretty gay about it. There are a lot of times where I will feel like one of the only cishet people in a group. Maybe it's because I've refused to give up the general subculture aesthetic and have been wearing graphic tees, ripped jeans and Chuck Taylors since high school, and I'm not going to stop anytime soon. I still get mistaken for being in my 20's so I am going to ride that shit into the ground, baby.

Things have changed a lot. Culture has changed. The internet has changed. I've changed. Everybody's on the goddamn internet now, including a lot of people who seem utterly clueless about its culture and history. I don't have anybody in my circles of friends that would ever identify as "anti-SJW" anymore. There is no debate in any of the circles I'm in on the validity of trans people at all, or nonbinary people. I look to those who I might have either associated with loosely or engaged with their content, and they just seem like they spiraled into increasing extremism, and for many of them, it doesn't seem like it's just to keep the grift going. They're true believers. And a part of me finds it kind of sad, actually, because they're going to just be miserable fucks for the rest of their lives if they keep their current trajectory. The momentum of the trans rights movement is not going to stop. Normies are getting sick of politicians focusing on transgender people. And within the trans community itself, the infighting has pretty much stopped because of just how tight the screws are being turned as conservatives go all out on the last socially acceptable group they can go against. They're being much more blatant about their bigotry in a way that's so flagrant, it would have been unthinkable ten years ago. We've got bigger problems.

Why am I even writing all of this out? I don't know. It's not like these posts are going to show up on Google when people look me up and see "callout" after my username in the suggestions. But it's important to me to map out these thoughts, I suppose, because actually changing means a lot more than grovelling and saying sorry to be accepted by people who wouldn't be willing to hear me out in the first place. I don't even think I fully regret being on Kiwi Farms; I more regret sticking around as long as I did, and if you've been paying attention to me posting about major life events I've been dealing with recently, you may have noticed I kind of have a problem with sticking around toxic people or places out of some misplaced sense of loyalty.

I guess I'm just stubborn.

TL;DR I feel pretty bad about not believing nonbinary identities weren't valid because I feel like I almost kind of sort of feel that? Also trans rights forever and ever,

[genderqueerdykes]

This is going to be a weird way to phrase this, but why does gender feel like a scam sometimes?

For context, I've been on T for almost 7.5 years, lived socially as male for over nine years, and I'm chipping away at my transition goals. I've been confident and comfortable with things for a long time, but I'll have the occasional thought where gender just feels fake sometimes.

Like, if you were to ask me how I identify, you'll get a different answer depending on the day. Sometimes it's "yeah, I'm a guy", other times it's that but with a bit of a shrug. My personal favorite is "man, I identify as being a tired trash gremlin" and I leave it at that. When I sit with myself to think it over, the most I know for sure is that I'm not cis or a woman. It's just the rest that's a pain in the ass and tiring.

I've heard some people describe the feeling as gender apathy, which kind of makes sense to me. But, dang. Really? We're doing this again? I went to the gender store and I got some weird items in my mystery grab bag.

i think there's a point after that initial honeymoon period where transition really isnt exciting or thrilling anymore, it just has become a mundane part of your life, and i definitely get what you mean- I reached a point where i went. maybe i did waste my time, this doesn't make me anywhere near as happy as it used to. i don't feel 100% like a guy so i think i wasted all that time

but in reality, what was happening was my identity was maturing with me, and changing slowly over time. now that you've been on HRT for a while, you may feel confident playing around with gender presentation a bit- I only got confident in feminine clothing once i was consistently read as a guy. you may just not be satisfied with where things have taken you, and that's okay, too

honestly I only started thinking hard about my identity after i started T- i realized i wasnt a binary guy after the hormone finally took its effect, and what i mean by that is that i was in love with what changes it brought me, but i didnt identify as a binary dude. luckily testosterone gave me the opportunity to explore my nonbinary identity in a way that feels safe to me, as im no longer being perceived as a cis woman

i think it's okay to get into a bit of a rut with that part of yourself, and not know where to go from there- i get what you're saying and i hope you're able to figure out what's the root of that feeling. take care! hope you have a good one

[pride-and-flags-47]

Nonbinary November, Again!

Last year i answered the 22 questions @letters-to-lgbt-kids made for november, and I think it’s a good idea do re-answer them!

1.Which labels do you use?

At the moment, my gender labels are trans guy, nonbinary and demiboy, my gender isn��t exactly three gender but also isn’t exactly only one. For other non gender related stuff, aroace and gay (gay as in mlm, nblm, nblnb and mlnb).

And Ive named my gender but don't actively use the term, but it's still my gender, boyenbyflux.

2.What are your pronouns?

Only he/him!

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary?

Had to look in the older answers, but ye, in 2017 I used the label demigirl but never really thought of myself as not cis at the time, and in december of 2018 was when I realized I was trans, and started using demiboy, but as far as using the label nonbinary itself, around the middle of 2019.

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self?

I always have a hard time with things like this. I think I’ll focus this on Alec on early 2020 for this: you’re not faking or cis for having weird gender dysphoria/euphora/apathy days, and a part of these weird days is because of the nonbinary part being louder than the male part of your gender at that moment.

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most?

Not really a myth, but the wrong belief that nonbinary genders are only one thing and that they can’t sometimes lean towards one or both binary genders.

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to?

Not really? I’m not really big on following celebrities.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out?

Haven’t come out to most people I know irl. But I did come out to a colleague, it went well! I came out through WhatsApp and just said that I'm trans and aroace and gay.

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like?

non-bee-nary

Also not really a pun but none gender with left boy XD

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too?

Nbfbsbsnn yeah basically most of my transmasc friends are also on the nonbinary spectrum.

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character?

My characters fndnfsnn

But also my friends’ ocs.

As for more known media I forgot everything right now.

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use?

All of them but also LGBTQ and LGBTQ+ and many other alternatives. Depends on the day.

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means?

A gender that isn’t entirely a binary gender (aka man and woman), basically almost any gender that isn’t 100% man or woman.

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!)

I’ve been drawing everyday this year so far!

14.How did you find your name?

OK now that I have more names, I’ll go through each one XD

I chose Alec because two months before I realized I was trans I created an oc and called him Alec and I thought it was the closest to the male version of my deadname (it’s honestly not that close) and then I started using it! And it's my main name still.

As for Arthur, I just like it! Same for Alexandre, besides the fact that I though of a hypothetical scenario where I’m called uncle Alexandre and it makes me soft :3 and I had already been thinking about using Arthur or Alexandre instead of Alec or as my legal name while Alec would be a nickname, back in 2019 but I forgot about this until like, august/september of this year. And its AlexandRE, not AlexandER, Alexandre is more common here in my country + I have an oc with the name Alexander and he’s a horrible person and I couldn’t ever use that name for me XD

And Alex, it’s because I ended up starting relating a lot with my oc with that name, and there’s the bonus that is very similar to Alec and it’s a nice name.

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out?

I don’t have a partner.

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else?

I don’t want a romantic relationship but if I enter a QPR I’d like to be called boyfriend :3 I also like the term joyfriend :3 I’m ok with partner but isn’t my prefered one.

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids?

Take your time, there’s no pressure to find out as fast as possible. Also gender and orientation is weird so it’s normal to end up going through a lot of labels, to settle with the first one you think about, to change between labels and go back to the first one and even to never really always settle. Life is weird and labels are too, and you have my full on support on your questioning journey.

18.Which flag(s) do you use?

I've been also looking for other gay man flags but haven't settled with another besides the rainbow one, but Ive been looking at the one libragender made and it's pretty nice.

And these last two i made them! It's the mlm + nblm flag and the flag about my gender!

19.Any tips for bad days?

Drink water, eat something, if you’re able, socialize and/or take a walk and get some sunlight. It wont help everything but somethimes that’s what is what is wrong and if it’s not the case, at least it’s less things making you feel worse.

And this blog is always open to listening and supporting, althought I may not always have advice, I can lend an ear for vents and stuff.

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr?

@finley-myself

Their comic is great and they’re honestly a really nice person!

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things?

I call my presentation soft masc. It’s definetly masculine, with a tinge of androgeny but without anything feminine, Or I take something feminine and make it androgenous. And it’s soft because it’s not overly masculine, it’s masc light.

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself?

1- My sense of humor

2- My knowledge of random things

3- My attention to small things

And that’s it! be sure to check Oliver’s blog out too! It’s a really nice and positive place and his letters always cheer me up!

[kinkymagnus]

Hey I've read a lot of your posts, where Magnus is a trans boy and I like that a lot, but I was wondering if you don't like the canon cis male Magnus? I'd ask you non-anonymously too, but I'm honestly scared of some people's hate messages for a question like this... sorry

long answer long answer lmao

hmgmgmnggg ok so i, hm. ok, i don’t think this was meant in a rude way at all, and i promise im in Education(TM) mode not Kill The Malicious Evil Transphobe(TM) mode like im not, accusing you of anything here, at all 

but i do have a few Issues with like, the way this was asked i guess

i will answer your question just--give me a sec, im a little uncomfortable here

also like, ok, i get why you’re sending it anonymously, it’s cool--personally i’ve never seen anyone get hate on behalf of trans magnus headcanons (rather than against them) but i mean, hate can come in all shapes and sizes i guess? and anxiety, so. whatever, it’s fine, i get it

but anyway moving on: first, “canon” cis magnus. my dude... my guy... did at any point magnus say I Am Cisgender or pull out his dick.... like... neither trans or cis magnus is really “canon” just as like, you know, izzy isn’t confirmed straight or bi or pan. we know she likes dudes and personally i think the way she looks at clary indicates she sure do like girls, too, but that doesn’t seem to have been intended so it’s debatable, and that’s basically it. 

also, in the context of just like... historical shit, realistically magnus isn’t cis. is he trans in the way i write about (like afab, “pre op”)? no, not necessarily in canon (although he isn’t... not that either i guess--we do see his flat chest, no scars, but HYPOTHETICALLY that could be a glamour, or the scars are magically healed. we know he has an adams apple, but there ways to do that without magic, let alone with magic. so like. i’m just saying.) 

but like, he wouldn’t be cis how we understand it either by the simple virtue of being much older than the western gender binary as we know it. even if he was born with a penis and all of that and identified as a Man(TM) And Nothing Else that wouldn’t mean his idea of masculinity/manhood would be the same as ours, or that it wouldn’t at least be shaped by very different factors. so like. even if my version of trans magnus isn’t confirmed canon, cis magnus certainly isn’t either i think. that might be slicing hairs or getting finnicky with language, but it’s how i feel about it. 

and just assuming that he’s canonically cis rubs me the wrong way, like, characters aren’t cishet by default, you know? obviously the writers probably weren’t intending to make him trans, and cc certainly wasn’t when she stole his character from dark hunters and made it “her own”, or else there’d be a bunch of transphobic tropes in there, but like, you know, death of the authors, we make sense of canon now. intentions arguably don’t matter, we do with the story what we will, especially when working within it.

again i don’t think you were necessarily being like “well magnus is canonically cis so :/” but it rubs me the wrong way and is something i’ve seen before so like, yeah

secondly, “trans boy” magnus versus “cis male” magnus. why boy, anon. why boy

(god why does “why boy” sound like a bizarre t-shirt slogan or a mbmbam segment--NO, BRAIN. WE ARE ON SERIOUS BUSINESS.) 

but seriously tho like the sort of infantilization of trans men is really a thing (seeing them as “soft bois” and “uwu cute boys” and feminine/soft/small/delicate) and like, specifically calling magnus a trans boy versus when he’s cis he’s a “male” (which technically can refer to any age but has those like, Connotations) sits wrong with me. like, magnus isn’t a boy, you know? i mean i get making jokes like “aw my boys <3″ or whatever, but with this it’s not that say memey context AND specifically it concerns a trans man (not to mention him being asian) so like, it feels, yikes? like just. he isn’t a “trans boy”

im sorry i realize it seems like im just like harshly picking apart your answer and i really dont mean to sound like a bitch here but like, again. Education(TM) mode not Anon Hate(TM) mode. just for learning, it’s cool, i’m not angry at you, it’s chill. 

to answer your question with the yikes language gently nudged to the trash chute: do i dislike cis magnus? 

simple answer: yes.

complicated answer: not really. i already stated why i don’t like Cis(TM) magnus as it feels unrealistic and dumb and also he just doesn’t have cis energy lmao, but if you just mean like... well this isn’t really “cis” but kind of what people mean in this context, AMAB magnus (meaning he was “assigned male at birth” aka has a penis and all that) and he’s canonically gnc so like, he’s “cis” even if his understanding of masculinity might be different than ours and obviously we’ve seen him be gnc and all that.... i don’t really hate that, and objectively, i have no issues with it, but personal taste wise, i basically only read/write trans magnus as you see on my blog now. because i’ve kind of absorbed it as “canon” in my head (fanon, i guess, lmao) 

plus, just generally trans magnus is really important to me because like, a) he is #goals i too want to be a muscular gnc hottie, b) he’s relatable and i project all my shit onto him lmao, c) it just feels very validating, in a lot of ways--with the sexual preferences i write about, his insecurities, just the way he looks, and him being trans is just kind of reassuring, you know? also d) i honestly think it fits him/his character/his backstory and he just has the vibes u kno 

so basically, Cis(TM) magnus? no-go. cis magnus as in AMAB/identifies as a man full stop even if it’s wibbly wobbly compared to current times and lbr no one is going to really explore that much beyond him being outwardly gnc sometimes? fine, whatever. trans afab magnus still being gnc as hell? yessssssss

ldkgjfgh anyway im glad you like my posts!!! and hopefully ive Inducted Another Into The Trans Magnus Cult (thats a joke, but seriously, im just like,,,,,maam do u have time for ur lord and savior trans magnus?? maam blease)  

[catcatb0y]

On a different side of things (which I do sincerely hope no one following me genuinely believes), but this is also relevant when it comes to conservative bullshit logic- a common tactic they (and by they it's Matt Walsh like fifty percent of the time) have adopted where they divert the conversation, specifically using, "What is a woman?"

You can define woman as someone corresponding with a majority of female sex characteristics, but that erases cis (and intersex) women who do have more male sex characteristics than female ones.

You can't say "someone if the female sex" because there are many different categories that make up (generalized sex).

Women aren't always "feminine aligned people" because some of them are tomboys and mascs and butches.

A "woman" is anyone who is comfortable and prefers to be called a woman. I'm not a woman- I don't like identifying with the term, I don't like being called one, so I'm not one.

There are people who are actually bisexual who prefer to use "gay" or "lesbian" or, yes, "straight," because they lean more towards (one gender/sex) or because it's more comfortable. You can't walk up to someone and say, "Well, you're ACTUALLY:" it's fucking rude! Right or not, maybe they do like both genders, but prefer to stick to one. That's their business and their identity.

There are sex repulsed allosexuals who identify with asexual, so that they don't have to explain their sexual based trauma to justify not having sex.

There are sex positive or sex neutral asexuals who call themselves allosexual or don't disclose their identity as ace, because there can be so many reasons.

There are a LOT of people who misidentify, too! Bisexual and asexual communities joke about this a lot, but (I see all people(sex/genders) equally) can be really difficult to read- especially when it comes to: Does that mean I'm attracted to all of them? Or none of them?

A bisexual person whose never heard the term ace might say, "Oh, yeah I like both genders, but I would never have sex with either of them..." maybe they're ace! Maybe they're not!

You don't fucking know. Butt out.

A lot if trans people identify as nonbinary as a safe way of exploring the boundaries of their gender without the heaviness of transitioning.

A lot of nonbinary people realize that they thought they wanted a binary transition because they felt uncomfortable in their bodies, but they realized it was actually just the expectations placed on their bodies.

Neither of these are "stepping stone" communities or whatever bullshit. Even if they ARE for some people that's their goddamned business.

He/him and nonbinary lesbians exist!

She/her and nonbinary (mlm)s exist!

Bisexual, pansexual, and omnisexual all exist- they vastly overlap, yeah, but they're different to people who use those labels.

Nonbinary and genderqueer both exist. They both have huge overlaps, but they are different identities!

Genderfluid and bigender both exist! They both overlap at a great margin, but there is a different to people who (are both genders) and people who (flow between both genders)- and that matters to them!

Agender and demigender both exist! They look the same to a lot of people, but they're very different!

And all of these LOOK different for different people. A "cis presenting" person that perfectly matches their agab can still be nonbinary or agender. People us use exclusively she/her or he/him can be genderqueer or demigender.

It really breaks down to: do you want to be seen as [label]? Are you comfortable with it? If people refer to you as it, how do you feel?

I knew a guy who used to call me a lesbian, because when we met, I identified as a they/them lesbian- and it always made me uncomfortable.

"What is a woman?" Well, not me that's for sure.

And the moment you take these things outside of these sorts of spaces, you realize how stupid it is!

Someone on Twitter responded to one of the "Define woman" eye rollers with "define chair, while including everything that is a chair and excluding everything that is not a chair"

The hoity toity ass said something about it being "a device with four legs and a back, primarily for sitting" or something like that, and someone responded with a picture of a horse, saying: Behold, a chair.

Is a horse a chair? By that definition yeah.

But what about stools? They usually don't have backs, are they no longer chairs?

Does a couch particularly count as a chair or is it a separate entity? What about beds? They're used as chairs a lot.

Is a sleeping bag classified as a bed? Many people use them as beds-

The point is language is an increasingly complex discussion, and yeah "words have meaning" meanings that are often left with a huge amount of extra space and the overlapping of other meanings.

Sometimes you just have to accept that some shit is like "every square is a rectangle, but no rectangle is a square"- the difference is that we are living creatures with different experiences and worldviews. We have the ability to say 'I'm kind of a chair, but not a couch' or 'I'm sort of a stool and sort of a chair' or 'actually I'm [insert hyserspecific peice of furniture that was used by a hundred people worldwide before it fell out of disuse]'.

- a transmasc enby; he/they.

"Word have meanings!!!!!!"

You sound like the fucking Royal Academy of Spanish, my dude. Have some cool water and meet a bulldyke who uses bisexual to describe their gender. It'll change your life.