#yeah i'll put this one in the tags. fuck it

[hugsohugs]

very funny to me that in pikmin 3 they didn't bring back creeping chrysanthemums but they DID bring back the flowers that it mimics so if you've played pikmin 2 you spend half the game being scared of harmless flowers for no reason

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

happy hodgvingdays <3

[ratcandy]

3 straight hours of drawing and editing through a horrid migraine for a whole THIRTY SECONDS of self-indulgence beyond your wildest dreams. we call this being extremely normal

song is Bernadette by IAMX

[devildarlindumbass]

guys when they hear frank sinatra or something

Alt versions bellow cut

Shoutout these songs for being on loop while I spilled my disgusting brains into some random drawing

[vanyafresita]

suspension of disbelief can only do so much sometimes lol

[lesenbyan]

I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim with I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not-

[fullmoonfireball]

y'know, since i've gained a lot of followers from posting those Pikmin 4koma translations, i have a few questions

do you guys prefer multi-comic posts (such as this one), or individually-posted translations?

should i start putting my URL on these? it'd probably go down near the artist's name if i did. i don't care if people repost my translations or otherwise spread them, as long as they don't pretend they did them. regardless though, it might be a good idea.

on a similar note. should i translate the lil credit footnote? the official translations do this, but i've just left them as-is.

any other feedback on them would also be appreciated!

[mcl-mia]

//zeus week day 6 - offering

to offer one's body and soul - is that not the highest form of loyalty?

[waywardsalt]

my recording of the mohg fight, very glad to say that his fight is extremely fun :)

[imagine-nerd]

The fucking disconnect is so real.

[tired-o-fighter]

So you may wonder

Hey tired

You made so many promises for propagandas

Why didn't you post a single one?

Wellp

I am not exactly in an alrighty ish mental state lmao (nothing bad or tragic or anything just used all my brain energy and I'm running low and can't actually function like a human being lol)

But more importantly

I made the decision to go get my nails done. And because i basically had no actual nails to work with i got poly gel nails annnnnd it's too long. I ACTUALLY CAN'T FUCKING DRAW.

Holding a pencil like i used to is actually not possible but I'm relearning so it'll be alright

But digital? Haha no way. I use my phone and finger for all the digital art you've seen. Guess what when you get long ass nails you can't use your fingertip to touch the screen.

Still haven't had my mental breakdown over this. But for now (the next 20 days) i gotta draw traditionally 90% of the time. Which is what I'm working on. As again, Holding a pencil the way I've been holding for the past like idk 14 years is actually not possible and a tad bit painful when i try to do it by force

I'm actually genuinely sorry for not posting the stuff i promised. Regardless of the results of the polls , I'll post all of them as soon as i can.

Right at this specific moment i have no creativity like none and I'm just trying to figure a way out to prepare for the last day of polls

If you still want something. Whether it's art ask or au questions or anything you'd like to tell me or ask me, my ask box is always open. I'll do my best to answer them. Especially the none art ones

Thanks for reading my rant.

I'll bounce back just gimme a lil bit of time and don't let me isolate myself please

[whysamwhy123]

Ain't done this in a while but it's sorely needed because I have had A Week. So, if anyone has any spare serotonin lying around and would like to share, through the form of asks, it would be greatly appreciated.

[seokmattchuus]

I saw an ask come in earlier but now I can't see it? Like, I can see the number in my inbox but when I click on it, it's not there??? But I remember glancing and it was like MTL about overstimulating them? I'm also like. 60% percent sure it was about who would let you? So imma just answer that here since today hates me and nothing goes right :))

But I'd have to say:

Zhang Hao

Taerae

Jiwoong

Hanbin

Matthew

Ricky

[elytrafemme]

okay i will actually stop the public breakdown sort of now because it's kind of embarrassing but i do need to point out that my girlfriend sent me a video which i do not find funny and like i'm already splitting right now and i really do not need this energy in my life where are the funny men like what are we doing here

[the-kipsabian]

ITS FUCKING DONE YEE