#yeah i think some of the Anxiety is the awareness that while this is a performance - it is inherently one to be judged rather than simply

[possibly-evil]

it's disability pride month so here's some npmd disability/medical condition headcannons :3 these are in no particular order.

(if this does well I'll do some for tgwdlm and Black Friday)

(also feel free to send me asks with specific characters and I can tell you my headcannons for them)

IMPORTANT: if I get any information wrong please tell me!!

Max Jagerman

all of his are undiagnosed because his father would rather die than have a disabled kid 💔 (also I hc that his dad is an anti-vaxxer so they probably don't go to medical professionals very much)

he's got discalcuila (its kind of like dyslexia but for numbers and math)

he has ADHD as well! because of this he has bad memory (I dont know why but I love the idea of Max having bad memory)

Grace Chasity

she has OCD! a lot of her obsessions have to do with religion and sexual desire, and her compulsions are usually in the form of things like praying or quoting the Bible (forgive me if these aren't how compulsions or obsessions work).

autism. she likes wearing sweaters and sweater vests because they give her something to pick at/stim with. (whaat?? me? projecting onto grace? I would never!)

NPD. this literally fits her character so well, im surprised I dont see people headcannoning her with it more often.

also for all of these her parents are vaguely aware that she might have them but they just pray and hope that god with "fix" her. grace has no idea at all.

Richie Lipschitz

he's got a speech impediment (SEMI CANNON) it's not super noticeable so he's never had to try and change the way he speaks.

autism. he has a lot of trouble with eye contact (I get it bro 😔 eye contact is scary).

hyperhidrosis (CANNON). yeah he. he sweats a lot. (also kind funny while I was looking into it a little it was like symptoms: sweating, having sweat on you, being sweaty. never would have guessed it)

asthma (CANNON). he uses it as an excuse to never run in PE.

Ruth Fleming

allergic to: fragrances, shellfish, milk, cats. (NOT lactose intolerant, just allergic). she has pretty severe allergic reactions if they're ingested, she breaks into hives if they make contact with her skin.

autistic. she picks at her skin and nails a lot as stimming.

anxiety. her headgear helps a little with making her feel safe (CANNON).

nearsighted. she got contacts because she hated how she looked with glasses.

has hypermobility and PoTS. She gets easily fatigued by dancing, which is why she can't really be in musical dance numbers (yes, continuing to crush her dreams. I love torturing my blorbos).

Peter Spankoffski

he has diabetes, and he often forgets to take medication and eat well, meaning his blood sugar drops low a lot.

nearsighted. he's had to wear glasses ever sincee he was a toddler.

his family has a long history of colorblindness (deuteranopia).

AUTISM. pretty much all of hatchetfield has autism. nobody's surprised. he's more masked than the others, mostly because his parents teased him/were rude to him about things like t-rex arms and being bad at conversations. (what? me? projecting onto peter?? omg I would neverrrr....)

Stephanie Lauter

autism (SEMI CANNON)(Confirmed by Mariah but not the Langs). she's heavily masked, though she tries to unmask more around the nerds, specifically Pete, because she feels safe with them.

persistent tic disorder. she only has motor tics, and they're usually not super noticeable.

anxiety. her dad doesn't believe her when she tells him she has it, he just thinks she's exaggerating. her tics get a lot worse when she's anxious, and her hands shake a lot. she wasn't able to help dismember max much because of this.

[miryum]

☆ miryum's dc universe☆

Neighbour!Jason Todd who wasn’t home when you first moved in. If he was, he would’ve offered to help with the heavy furniture. Alfred raised a gentleman, of course. But no, he was off in a safe house, nursing a wound from last night's patrol. A bullet had grazed his side and it was leaving a nasty ache

Neighbour!Jason Todd who then didn’t mean to wake you when he crashed into his apartment that night, via window. How could he know that someone had just moved into the apartment next door and was startling at every bump in the night?

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was very surprised when he, still in his Red Hood gear, heard someone knock on the door soon after. A very sweet voice called out, “hello? I just want to check that you’re okay? I know it’s not my place and you might be a serial killer, but just wanted to make sure you’re not having a heart attack.”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who threw off his helmet and voice modulator before clearing his throat and calling out, “nope! No, I’m fine. Uh… thank you?” 

Neighbour!Jason Todd who breathed a sigh of relief when the voice responded, “oh, okay. I- I’m sorry. Good night.”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who stood up, even though his bullet wound cried out against it. He wasn’t sure why he stood, for he could already hear your footsteps departing. His face twisted into one of confusion, both at his reaction, and the fact that someone had come to check up on him. The majority of his neighbours didn’t care

Neighbour!Jason Todd who next met you when he was going to get the mail. He saw you outside the lobby door, crouching down. His curiosity got the better of him and he stepped outside during dusk in Gotham, something no citizen should ever do

Neighbour!Jason Todd who found out that you were feeding the street cats. You were fucking feeding the street cats. There were at least six cats surrounding you, weaving in between your legs as you set down a bowl of milk and some cat food. He cleared his throat and you looked up at him, already smiling. How could someone in Gotham smile? At him? His long sleeves, while hiding his physical scars, surely couldn’t cover the anxiety and trauma embedded deep within him. “What… what are you doing?” he asked softly

Neighbour!Jason Todd who simply stared at you as you responded, “I’m feeding the cats.” After a pause, you added, “they were meowing at me when I came home from work so I picked up some cat food from the store and brought it back to them. Aren’t they just adorable?” You reached out to pet one who gladly turned on its belly for you

Neighbour!Jason Todd who asked, “you know, they do that to everyone? They’re smart enough to know a new face that’ll feed them.” And then he mentally kicked himself because now this girl thought he was pessimistic and didn’t feed the cats. Then you shrugged and everything seemed better. “Yeah, I know, but they look so hungry…” The way your lips tilted to the side made Jason want to stare at them forever

Neighbour!Jason Todd who almost offered to adopt the cats because that meant that you would come over to his apartment to see them

Neighbour!Jason Todd who then rubbed the back of his neck and announced, “my name is Jason.”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who melted when you laughed lightly and introduced yourself. He knew he had found the one

Neighbour!Jason Todd who then became much more aware of your presence in the apartment building. It wasn’t hard to piece together your routine (which you should think of changing regularly because it would be too easy for a criminal to figure it out) and if that meant Jason went to go on runs every now and then that coincided with your grocery trips, then it was a coincidence. He would grab his mail the same time you did. He would take more care to not make as much noise when he returned after vigilante nights, as to not wake you. It was the little things, he reasoned, that would make you notice him

Neighbour!Jason Todd who didn’t know what to do when the power went out. Of course, he had his survival kit ready and stocked with a flashlight, provisions, a blanket, a portable charger, and numerous weapons. He was ready to wait it out, but he didn’t know what to do when it came to you. Should he go over and check on you? Or would that seem like he thought you couldn’t handle yourself? 

Neighbour!Jason Todd who didn’t have to worry for long because a soft, rapid knock came at the door. He wasn’t surprised when you were there, small flashlight in hand. “Does this happen often?” is the first thing you asked. Jason huffed a laugh and replied with his own question, “is this your first time in Gotham?”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who invited you into his apartment. He wasn’t sure whether or not to count this as a first date, but you were soon bundled in his blankets and asking questions about his personal life, so that was like a date, right? He hadn’t been on many and didn’t intend to now that he met you

Neighbour!Jason Todd who did not know what to do when you fell asleep on his couch. Holy shit. Fuck. What should he do? He didn’t want you to think he assaulted you while you were sleeping, so for a couple minutes he sat in his kitchen, watching you wearily and putting as much distance between the two of you as possible. But then he didn’t like the distance between you, so it was a real conundrum

Neighbour!Jason Todd who instead sat awkwardly on his ottoman, watching TV with the volume muted and subtitles on

Neighbour!Jason Todd who didn’t even leave for patrol when the other members of the Batfam asked for help. The blackout was causing Gotham to run wild, but Jason was content with locking the doors and making sure you were comfy

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was still sitting on that ottoman when you woke up in the morning. He carefully evaded your questions on whether he slept and instead decided to make you breakfast. When you complimented his breakfast over and over, joking how you would have to come over more often if it meant his cooking, Jason agreed maybe a bit too quickly

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was the neighbour you then called on if you had a package arriving during work hours and needed someone to sign it. He was the neighbour you didn’t mind seeing in the halls because a chat with him wasn’t seen as uncomfortable. He was the neighbour you asked to help repair the sink (you got a very lovely image of his shirt riding up as he laid underneath your sink and maybe it was because you were ovulating but oh god did you want to jump his bones). He was the neighbour who, when he found out you liked similar movies, stumbled over his words to invite you to watch them with him

Neighbour!Jason Todd who actually didn’t love the genre of movies you did, but would like them if it meant seeing you

Neighbour!Jason Todd who wasn’t sure what your relationship status was with him and it ate away at him almost every moment of the day. You were always in the back of his mind, always making his heart warm 

Neighbour!Jason Todd who tried to coax you back to your apartment after you returned home one night, stumbling and intoxicated. But you didn’t want to. You were firmly standing in his doorway and kept blabbering about meaningless things. When he finally convinced you to rest on his couch, you declared, stumbling over your words, “see? This is why I like you Jason. You- you’re a- a very- You’re a very good person.” You then reached up and patted his cheek. “Love you, bye-bye.” And you promptly fell asleep

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was then in a state of shock of the next three hours

Neighbour!Jason Todd who ended up calling Alfred at four in the morning, prompting the older man to think the ex-Robin was kidnapped and needed help. As it turned out, Jason needed help, but with a girl; not a crime lord. Alfred sent Jason off with a few words of wisdom and luck, the most notable being, “Master Jason, if the girl does not return your feelings, then you can simply move out of your apartment and back into the Manor.” Jason thought that was a worse fate than you rejecting him

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was very patient the next morning, giving you painkillers and a large glass of water. When you remembered the previous night, mortified, he tried to calm you down, eyes worried that you would leave him. He wasn’t sure what he would do if you left his life

Neighbour!Jason Todd who, in a mess of panic and embarrassment, managed to blurt out, “no, wait! I- I want you to stay. Please. I know you didn’t mean your words last night, but I really like having you in my life. Can’t we… be friends?” It broke his heart to suggest it, but he’d be willing to keep that platonic bond if it didn’t drive you away

Neighbour!Jason Todd who waited, heart in his throat, when the seconds ticked by and you didn’t answer. “But I did mean them,” you finally whispered out. “I like you, Jason. And I wanna do something about that.”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who stammered and spluttered, “well, then, let’s do something.”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who took you out on dates every week and didn’t know what to do when you found the Red Hood gear in his closet when you were searching for a hoodie to steal

Neighbour!Jason Todd who wasn’t expecting you to laugh, of all things. “I guessed,” is all you said. And that’s when Jason kissed you for the first time

Neighbour!Jason Todd who became a staple in your life, not only because you two lived in the same building, but because of how amazing he was. There were no other words to describe it. It was like the man knew your needs before you did and fulfilled them just because he wanted to. He was the epitome of “princess treatment”

Neighbour!Jason Todd who was scared for you to sleep over for the first time because of his nightmares but found out that when your head was on his bicep (cutting off circulation to his fingers), and your body was tucked into his, hair messy and lips slightly parted, that he didn’t have nightmares. It was like you scared them all away, just by being there

Neighbour!Jason Todd who wanted you to sleep over much more frequently

Neighbour!Jason Todd who made it a habit to buy cat food at the grocery store because you still insisted on feeding those damn cats after months of living in Gotham. Nevermind that the cats had found which apartment you lived in and climbed up to the window via the fire escape. Nevermind that the cats realised that when you weren’t in your apartment, you were most likely in Jasons. And nevermind that he now had cats outside his window almost 24/7 that he begrudgingly fed because who was he if not subject to you or Damian’s rants about feeding the fucking cats

Neighbour!Jason Todd who just liked to touch you. He liked to be reminded that he was much bigger than you and his body could swallow yours up whilst cuddling on the couch. He liked to put his arm around your shoulder and trace patterns on your skin. He liked to hug you tightly from behind because it reminded him that you were there and you were his. He liked to do this in public too – not huge amounts of PDA, but a hand on the waist or slipped in your back pocket. A hand on the small of your back when crossing streets. Reaching out behind him to grab your hand while walking through large crowds

Neighbour!Jason Todd who, a year later, signed the lease to your apartment, so that now you were neighbours who shared a bed and a bathroom and a home

[cherrygirlfriend]

─── YOU'VE GOT MAIL .ᐟ

...or him dreaming of you.

★ pairing.ᐟ frat!rafe x nerd!reader

★ summary.ᐟ rafe cameron is the golden boy of kildare university; certified frat boy, captain of the football team, relentless party animal with lines of girls to sleep with.

reader couldn't be more different; while she has the best grades in the whole school, she suffers from social anxiety disorder, and her social life is limited to her three best friends and the cat she secretly snuck into her dorm room.

both of them decide to join the anonymous chatroom for their campus, and start talking to one another, a friendship starting to form between the two; but neither of them know how different the other is.

★ author's note.ᐟ this is a bit of a fluffy filler… i have something exciting coming for them it makes me giggle!!

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

the fall break was coming up, and so far, the only plan you had was to crash over at vivian's place, fully aware that you were less than welcome to go home to your parents. you were on your laptop, your messages with MalachiConstant open on KildareUChats.

YOU: you got any plans for over the break?

MalachiConstant: yeah, a bunch of us are going to our buddy's lakehouse.

YOU: geez, i'm jealous.

MalachiConstant: well i'd invite you to tag along but i'm pretty sure your response would be 'i'd rather die'

YOU: you know me so well, vonnegut. YOU: nah, my plan is to go to my friends' place, we're just gonna spend the entire week playing video games and watching really bad romcoms while eating half our bodyweight in junk food.

MalachiConstant: and is the cat coming too?

you chuckled, looking to angel who was currently munching on her dinner, before turning back to your laptop.

YOU: nah, i got a catsitter. my friend's mom is allergic.

MalachiConstant: damn, cat-free and everything. MalachiConstant: don't do anything i wouldn't do poe

YOU: i don't think there's much you wouldn't do. YOU: i still remember you telling me about diving off a roof into a pool.

MalachiConstant: hey, i used to take swimming lessons. i was a pro at work

YOU: and also under a nice amount of promilles.

MalachiConstant: someone's just jealous because she doesn't have the balls to dive off a roof.

YOU: let's not get it twisted. i'm smart enough to not dive off a roof.

you and vivian were studying in the library for an exam, when she suddenly spoke up. "so… i have some news." vivian looked at you with pursed lips, making you instantly aware that whatever her news was, it would not be good.

"what is it, viv?" you asked, trying not to show to the girl how nervous you were. "come on, spit it out."

"soo... topper kind of invited me to come hang out with him over the break..." she tapped the rubber end of her pencil against the desk. "alright...?" you questioned, your brows furrowed. "what's so bad about that?"

"it's for the whole week." vivian cleared her throat, "at his family's lake house..."

"viv!" you groaned in exasperation, "we have plans. you told him no, right? that we were hanging out for the break?"

"well..." she looked down, doing everything to keep her eyes anywhere but on your face, "i kind of said i'd talk to you about it..."

"i can't believe you." you scoffed, "you're ditching me. you know the crap i go through when i go home and you're-"

"no, it's not like that!" your best friend interrupted, putting her hand on your arm as a way to calm you down. "i told him that i couldn't do it because i was gonna hang out with you, but then he told me to bring you along. and he said i can bring zainab and emilia along, too. zainab said she couldn't make it, but em is fully in."

you shook your head, letting out a soft scoff, "vivian, you know how bad my anxiety is. spending a week with a bunch of strangers sounds like my worst nightmare."

"hear me out." vivian insisted, "most of the football team is gonna be there. which means that your online boyfriend is also likely gonna be there."

"so?"

"so you have a chance to finally find out your mystery guy's identity! then you'll fall in love, get married and have a bunch of babies who'll call me auntie viv and i'll secretly buy them beer when they're too young to buy it themselves."

"i'm seriously starting to think that you don't have any morals."

"i'm dead inside." the pink-haired girl shrugged her shoulders, "so? are you in?"

"what makes you think i want to know the identity of the dude?"

"the fact that you get all giggly whenever your damn phone lights up like you're a middle schooler passing notes with your crush. you wanna be with him, don't you? you're so much more open, so much happier than you were BFB."

"BFB?"

"before frat boy." vivian grinned at her own wit, softly nudging your arm, "you totally have the hots for him."

"no one says that anymore." you rolled your eyes, fiddling with the edge of a sheet of paper, "i'm nervous. what if he doesn't like me?"

"girl, shut up." vivian let out a frustrated groan, "i've seen the messages you send each other. it's like the online version of eye-fucking someone. seriously, you two might as well be sexting, and that would somehow be less couple-y than the shit you have going on now."

"we're not that bad!" you exclaim in feigned offense, making vivian lift her brows, "not that bad? what did the message he sent you last night say again... something about dreaming about just staring into your eyes. him asking you to describe how they look just so it could be accurate?"

you couldn't help but feel your cheeks starting to burn as you thought back to the messages you'd been exchanging the night before.

YOU: i'm currently looking up at the stars. YOU: i actually took an astronomy class a while back!

MalachiConstant: of course you did, nerd. MalachiConstant: you know what'd be nice?

YOU: i'm sure you'll tell me!

MalachiConstant: ha ha. MalachiConstant: i wanna look at the stars with you, poe. i can picture you womansplaining all the constellations and shit.

YOU: aww, that's weirdly kinda sweet. YOU: who are you and what have you done with vonnegut boy?

MalachiConstant: really appreciate how seriously you're taking this MalachiConstant: i dream of you sometimes, you know

YOU: oh? YOU: what do you dream about?

MalachiConstant: all kinds of sappy shit MalachiConstant: i dream of just staring into your eyes MalachiConstant: i'm pretty sure your eyes are gorgeous

YOU: good theory. you don't even know what they look like. does that line seriously work on any girls?

MalachiConstant: maybe you should describe them to me.

you bit down on your bottom lip, vivian looking at you with an expectant look on her face, "he likes you, sweetie. and he's still gonna like you when he finds out who you really are. if he doesn't, then he's a fucking idiot."

"viv-"

"say yes. say that you'll come. what do you have to lose?"

letting out a sigh, you shook your head, vivian looking at you with a pleading look in her eyes. "i hate you, viv."

"is that a yes?"

"yeah." you rolled your eyes, "it's a yes."

TAGLIST: @yktayy9669 @tinythebunni @dywho @melalsworld @akobx @samwinchesterisawhore @st8rkey @jjasmiineee @ltristessedureratoujours @a-lovers-card @uselessnewt @lunaleah @letstryagaintomorrow @cinnamqnnlatte @papapoy @kay133sposts @wtfisastiles @butterfly1c @emmiesummers @melodyyybubbles @toomanywhitelies @littl3loveydovey @scne-vampire @alwaysmaybank @mysticbby2009 @luna443 @drewstarkeyswife-7 @flowerluvr @kisselxoll - cont. in com

[tranquilreign]

competitive much? | oneshot

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

🗒 details

pairing; jungkook/reader genre: fluff, angst, rivals to lovers, tattooartist au! warnings; swearing, lustful thoughts and slight lustful actions, jungkook's an ass, mental health, anxiety attacks and mentions anti-depressants. word count: 2.9k

🖋 synopsis

competitive (adj.) kuhm·peh·tuh·tuhv having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others.

nothing boils your blood more than your co-worker jeon jungkook. both of you competing to be the best, and he always comes out on top. but this time, he takes it too far.

🖇links

jungkook masterlist main masterlist request | request rules prompt list

Today might be the worst day of your life. You had finally had a female client who was more than happy for you to tattoo her. She had explained her idea. A snake, but as you went further down its body, it slowly formed into a trail of flowers. It was your clients' way of showing the representation of beauty and danger.

When she first arrived, she was uncertain about what she wanted. However, after a few sessions of conversation and design work, you both agreed on a final concept that she loved. Now, she sat not in your chair, but in your co-worker Jungkook's chair.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jungkook had emerged from the back just as your client arrived for her appointment. He glanced over your shoulder and scoffed at the design in your hands.

"Fuck off Jungkook," you muttered. "Afternoon! It's good to see you again, Clara."

“It’s great to see you as well! I’m really excited for this,” Clara exclaimed enthusiastically.

You smiled, turning the iPad in your hand to face her. Clara gasped, looking at the design in awe.

"I know we initially agreed on a final design, but if you take a closer look here," you said as you zoomed in on the tail, "I've modified some of the flowers into wilting roses and thorns to further emphasise the balance between beauty and danger."

"It looks amazing! I think this is such a good addition to the design!"

"Great! When you're ready, I can take you through the back to help you get set up with the stencil," you smiled, opening the small door that connected the two registers.

"If you don't mind me butting in." You let your head fall back at the voice. Jungkook. You spun on the spot, a fake smile evident.

"Yes?"

Jungkook held out his hand, silently asking to look at your design, even though he had seen it earlier. Reluctantly, you shoved the iPad into his hands. Clara looked at Jungkook, her eyes filling with desire. This happened every time a female client walked into the studio. And to say it pissed you off would be an understatement.

"You see, changing the snake's mouth from closed to open transforms your tattoo into something far more menacing. While snakes are captivating in their beauty, it’s the moment they prepare to strike that they become truly terrifying," Jungkook explained as he confidently handed back the iPad.

"Yeah, thanks for the advice, we'll think about-"

"That is truly amazing!" Clara praised. Jungkook smirked, glancing at you for a moment.

“I’ll get this stencil printed for you and tattoo you myself,” Jungkook stated firmly, as if your presence didn’t even phase him.

"Yes, please!" Clara beamed, allowing herself to be escorted through the back and into Jungkook's chair.

You stood there in shock, aware of how competitive Jungkook was when it came to clients. This felt like a low blow, even for him. You moved to the back and stood beside him, prepared to help as he set up. You hurried around the room, gathering any inks Jungkook needed for the upcoming tattoo. Once you finished, he sent you back to the front desk.

Sitting in the chair at the first register, you tapped your stylist gently against your iPad, having lost motivation to create any new designs for the studio. A few hours had gone by when Clara was ready to leave. She had bid you a farewell, handing over a decent tip for Jungkook.

"Well, how much did she leave me?" Jungkook asked smugly, emerging from the back.

Without saying a word, you slid the money along to him, staring out the window. He slid the notes into his hand and counted each one slowly, trying to rub it in more. Typically, you would bite back, arguing with him for stealing another client from you. But this time, you felt defeated.

"I'm going to go for my lunch," you muttered, pushing past Jungkook and grabbing your worn leather jacket.

Jungkook's smile faltered for a moment, finding it strange you hadn't begun to argue with him. He always liked it when you started yelling at him. There was something about you being angry that really turned him on.

There was no denying Jungkook found you extremely attractive. When you first walked into the studio with your job application, Jungkook knew he was going to hire you immediately. He was truly mesmerised by your work, finding how you viewed art inspiring.

Yet despite his huge crush on you, he would tease you as if there was no tomorrow. Riling you up until you exploded, yelling at him. You'd sometimes even throw a book or two at him.

But you both knew this type of stuff was only banter. Right?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Without saying another word, you left the studio and crossed the street. You slowly made your way into the coffee shop, sitting at an empty table and ordering a cup of green tea through the cafe's mobile app.

You sat, questioning whether or not you really should be working at the studio when you were barely getting any work done. At the moment, women are the ones mostly looking to get tattoos, which means that it was game for Jungkook.

He was attractive. Very attractive, and he knew he was. Every opportunity, he would flirt with any potential female client who walked through the door. That made sure they would choose him as their artist.

You were so torn. The whole reason you wanted to work with Jungkook is that you had seen his work all over Instagram. And he was good at what he did. An added bonus was that he was incredibly hot. You could have screamed when you first saw him in person. His long hair fell in front of his face, and as he read your application, he gently played with his lip rings.

You couldn't help but stare at his muscular arms. His right arm was fully covered with tattoos that extended down to his knuckles. You noticed the way the muscles tensed slightly as he turned the page of your application. He sat lazily in his chair, his legs spread open slightly, giving you a full view of him. You bit your lip, as dirty thoughts began to creep in the longer you stared. With a clap of his hands, he pulled you out of your fixation.

"This looks really good. But I do have other applicants. I'll get back to you by the end of the week to let you know if you've been given the job or not."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Your lunch had flown by, dreading going back into the studio. Yet, you walked in and completely ignored Jungkook, sitting back down at the register across from him.

Jungkook watched you walk right past him. His brows furrowed in confusion. He was unsure how to take your sudden silence. But he had decided to not take it too seriously. Jungkook was about to speak when you suddenly spoke up.

"I'm not feeling too great all of a sudden," you whispered, your face scrunching in discomfort.

"Oh, well, if you aren't feeling well, go home," Jungkook suggested.

"I think that may be best." With that, you gathered your belongings and stepped out the door, leaving Jungkook behind to look after the studio.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

It had been a week since you had gone home, and Jungkook was growing worried. You had messaged every morning, mentioning how you were feeling worse with each passing day. By the end of the week, Jungkook had decided he was going to check up on you.

He sat at the register, watching as the clock slowly ticked by. He began to grow impatient at how slow the days had been since you weren't in.

It was as if you not being here was making the days drag on for longer. They were boring. With no one to tease or wind up it was truly lonely in the studio.

"Fuck it," he muttered, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling on it. He stuck it to the window and locked up shop early. He walked to his motorcycle, getting ready to head to you.

"I should get her some snacks and medicine."

Jungkook put his jacket and helmet on, speeding off down the busy street to get to the pharmacy before it closed. Luck, however, just didn't seem to be on his side. Every traffic light turned red as he approached the crossings. He grew more frustrated as he drove to his destination, having arrived just a few minutes too late to the pharmacy.

He cursed, thumping his fist down onto his thigh. He spun around, heading back in the direction he came, deciding to just head to the corner shop across from your house.

All he could think about was how unwell you seemed. It was strange of you to be off sick for so long. Even when you were sick with the flu, you'd force yourself to come in until Jungkook had to physically push you out the door to go home.

Now here he was, standing in front of your apartment door, snacks in hand. He was nervous, and he didn't know why. Still, he knocked. He waited for a moment until you opened the door. Jungkook frowned at you. You didn't look sick at all.

"J-Jungkook," you stammered, shocked at his sudden appearance. "Why are you here?"

"You're not sick!" he exclaimed, forcing himself into your apartment.

You closed your eyes, knowing you were caught. Shutting the door behind you, you slowly spun around to look at him. And Jungkook was furious.

"Yes, I'm not sick."

"I've had to look after the studio the whole week, without you! And you've been fine. I should fire you for this."

"Then do it!" you challenged, catching him off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"Go on, Jungkook. Fire me. Honestly, I don't think I care anymore," you continued, crossing your arms over your chest.

"What?" Jungkook asked, more confused than before. You laughed bitterly.

"Oh, come on, Jungkook. Ever since I started working with you, all you have done is make me feel like I am worthless. You sit there and belittle my work, stealing my clients."

Jungkook stammered, not knowing what to say. He stood silent, watching as tears welled in your eyes. You attempted to blink them back, but instead, they ran down your cheeks. It broke Jungkook's heart to see you so upset, especially because of him.

"I'm sorry, princess. I didn't realise-"

"Of course you didn't realise. Because if you're not busy treating me like a slave, you're trying to fuck every female client that walks through the door!"

You had begun to hyperventilate, anxiety taking over you. Jungkook watched as you slowly sank to the floor, eyes widening at your state. Jungkook dropped the snacks in his hands and immediately knelt in front of you. Gently, he took his hands in yours.

"Y/n, try to look at me okay?" he spoke softly. "Hey-hey. Look at me."

Chest heaving, and eyes bloodshot with tears, you attempted to look at him. He guided one of your hands to his chest, allowing you to feel his heartbeat, his breathing.

"I want you to focus on me and try to copy what I do, okay?" You only nodded.

You watched as Jungkook slowly inhaled and exhaled, his grip tightening slightly around your hand, reassuring that everything was okay. Your breathing slowly began to ease as Jungkook's grip tightened gently around your hand, and you slowly started coming back to your senses.

"Good. Good girl," Jungkook soothed, moving his other hand to stroke your hair.

Having your breathing under control again, you pushed yourself forward into Jungkook's arms, crying silently. Jungkook took this moment to hold you close, looking around the room, noticing the bottle of antidepressants sitting on your coffee table.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I know an apology isn't good enough for all the shit I've put you through. But truly, I am sorry," he whispered, gently planting a kiss atop your head.

You pulled back, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away your tears. You didn't look at him, ashamed of your vulnerability. Jungkook sat patiently, waiting until you were ready to speak.

"I'm- sorry," you spoke in barely a whisper. Jungkook leaned back, surprised at your words.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, princess," he cooed. "If I were aware of how you were feeling. I wouldn't have continued. I guess my way of conveying my feelings didn't come across as intended."

You rubbed your eyes, looking at him, surprised. You hadn't expected an apology or a confession from him. You had expected him to be angry. Furious that you had been skipping work. Yet here he sat, his hands in yours, looking at you with gentle eyes.

"Yeah, you have a funny way of showing it," you spoke, choking out a laugh. Jungkook chuckled slightly.

"You take all the time you need, okay? I don't want you feeling like you have to come into work now because of this conversation."

You smiled.

"I know, I was going to come back in a few days anyway."

"I see," Jungkook muttered. "I know this may seem like a bold thing to ask. But can I stay the night? I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'll be fine-"

"I'm serious, Y/n," Jungkook cut you off. "I want to make sure you're drinking plenty of water and eating, even if it's a little bit."

You paused before finally nodding. He smiled, standing up, holding his hand out for you to take. You slid your hand into his, allowing him to pull you up into his arms. He was quick to let you go, though, not wanting to smother you. Jungkook watched as you walked off into he bathroom.

Only then had he noticed you wearing a pair of short baggy shorts and a cropped tank top. He bit his lip, trying his hardest not to lose himself at a time like this. Instead, he followed behind you, watching you closely as you brushed your teeth. You spat out the toothpaste and looked at him in the mirror's reflection.

"You know you don't need to monitor me. I'm not going to run away," you teased.

Jungkook hummed, simply leaning against the door frame, watching you with arms crossed. Rolling your eyes, you went back to brushing your teeth. You glanced at him in the mirror a few times, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Y/n," Jungkook spoke suddenly.

You had just put your toothbrush in its holder when you turned to look at him. He was closer than before, but still respected your space. He silently asked to hold your hand, which you agreed to with a nod.

"I love you," he whispered. "Since the day you walked into my studio. I knew I wanted you to work, not for me, but with me. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and you are all that's on my mind to this day. You drive me crazy. So much so I can hardly contain myself when you come into work wearing your cargo's and a t-shirt. It's so simple, but you pull it off like it's nothing. You are simply... perfect."

You didn't say anything. Instead, you pulled him in by the collar of his t-shirt and crashed your lips against his. He was shocked for a moment, then regained himself, allowing his lips to mould with yours. Passion burned inside both of you, as hands began to wander to places one would expect. You only stopped when you felt his hand begin to slide underneath your top.

"Sorry. I got caught up in the moment," Jungkook responded quickly. He stepped back, removing his hands from your waist. A sensation which you missed.

"Next time, we'll go there," you teased moving towards him and running your hand along his chest. He shivered at your touch, something you were enjoying very much. You gave him another quick kiss, leading him into your bedroom.

"I love you, too. Now, let's get some sleep."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

hello there! thanks for taking the time to read this one! i wanted to write this, in hopes it brings some awareness to the seriousness of mental health. i, myself, am currently suffering with anxiety and depression, and have found that, as of recently, writing had been a way to help put me as ease. i hope with me writing this I have not offended as it was not my intention, but to show that people experience anxiety and depression in many different ways, and no one should be judged on it.

tranquilreign~

[clarkeybabey]

Hi! This is my first time requesting anything so I hope I'm doing this right, was wondering if u could do some george hcs of being his gf while he plays in the charity match? Thank you xx

thank you so much for the request!! I hope you enjoy:)))), a bit suggestive at the end..... more coming soon;)

poor baby is so nervous in the weeks leading up to it

"i would've rather them ask me the day of." "you wouldn't have been prepared." "I genuinely couldn't care less about preparation; the suspense is killing me."

He's dialled in every second, whether that be the sidemen Instagram or the whatsapp group chat

"you do know they've already announced you, right?" "yes, darling, but what if they change their mind or something???"

and you better believe when the fellas streamed discussing the lineup, he had it, volume blasting, on your bedroom tv, knee bouncing.

"you're going to be riding that bench mate," "shut the fuck up, Christopher."

chris and arthur give him so much shit for how he's acting

"arthur, you weren't even invited. you're not a part of this!!!" "Bit harsh, mate, no?" "They're scared they'll hurt your ever-so-fragile ego if they don't invite you back." "alrighty then..."

practically begs them and you despite your plans with the other wags to let you be there on training day.

"she'll be well behaved, simon, i promise." "i don't think I'm the one they're worried about..." "we'll bring the leash just in case," "STOP FORCING THE PET PLAY NARRATIVE, GEORGE CLARKE."

he has an eye on you the entire day, introduces you to everyone you haven't met yet, and makes sure you see all the defending he does or the goals he makes. Clearly in search of much-needed validation

"is this your missus, clarkey?" "oh yeah, ginge, this is [name], my wife." scoffing, you hold up your ringless hand, "that's news to me."

"did you see that, holy shit," he says in a pile of limbs on the grass, "I did, yes, but lets not kill ourselves before you've even touched the pitch."

all of a sudden, the morning of match day, he wakes you up dressed in his Sidemen FC zip-up, feeling scarily indifferent about being in front of millions, playing with some of the biggest social media stars.

he kisses your cheek before stepping out for team breakfast. "are you sure you're okay?" two nights prior he was quite anxious about the crowd or disappointing anyone, but now he's just chill.

"im fine, baby, excited but im not freaking out anymore," he shrugs toying with his vlog camera settings, "Well, I've got breakfast with liv and sab in a bit, text me okay?"

You receive a kiss on the corner of your mouth, followed by a salute, and he's off

Throughout the time before the match, you're shooting him endless messages of encouragement and well-wishes, he's quick with thank you's and assurances that he's okay, just footie with his mates, he insists

The crowd erupts with screams during their walkouts, you're aware of the amount of support your friends and boyfriend receive on the internet, but the energy in the stadium seemed to be something otherworldly.

He was benched for a bit, but when he was out there, he made his presence known. Anxiety and pride are the only things you find yourself feeling

especially the ladder when he scored his goal, despite his doubts that he'd be able to do so.

Once the celebrations calm down, one of the girls speaks up, "Someone's getting it tonight," with wagging brows. you don't answer, but the irrepressible smirk on your face says everything you refuse to.

Before you know it, it's over. The match goes into penalties for the first time ever, unfortunately, Sidemen FC loses because of one missed penalty.

There are no hard feelings as 4.7 million pounds and counting was raised and split among three charities. Unless Chris, Deji, and Danny's bragging rights are brought up

You find him in the showers after most everyone's left to change and freshen up for the afterparty. He's a sight with his towel hanging low on his hips, seemingly typing up a text; it takes a lot of restraint not to jump on him right there.

your phone chimes with his notification, he smiles when he finds your eyes, "Don't go getting any ideas, i don't think i'd like to be banned from Wembley." you scoff, jokingly offended, "how dare you assume I'm thinking inappropriately, just wanted to see my man,"

"told you id meet you in the lobby. you're very impatient," simple words, his pretty eyes, and a hand squeezing your hip have all words dying on your tongue

They quickly return when his wet hair soaks both your neck and top. "George," you gasp, doing your best to put space between the two of you, not really caring when you fail and are lifted up onto the communal sinks, "Now whos getting ideas?"

[cokoladasljesnjakom]

WHEN YOU’RE LOST IN THE DARKNESS

summary: the world went to hell. to say at least. a man lost his daguhter, the only person that kept him alive, and then? boom! all of the happines he had? thrown in the water. same happened for the two young girls. lost both of their parents to infection. what will happen when the man and two young girls meet the paths? will they kill eachother or somehow get closer? guess we'll find out.

joel miller x platonic! reader, ellie williams x older sister! reader

word count: 18k (im sorry)

warnings: outbreak!, zombies, heavy angst, major character deaths, PTSD, panic attacks,guns, knives, a lots of blood, gore, attempts of su!c!de, se*ual ab*se and attempts, tears, cann*ball, anxiety and lots of it.

a/n: first off i wanna say, that i made myself cry with this, let alone watching the gameplay AND the show itself. i had this on my mind lately and it irked me so much i had to get it off my chest. this is a series if you havent noticed! i put my soul and my heart into this. putting myself into their shoes and tbh? i felt it. anyway! enjoy reading.

masterlist next part

BOSTON, NEW YORK, AUGUST 2006.

Two years had passed since the outbreak, since the world as they knew it fell apart. That was the day everything changed. The day Anna made the decision that would alter the course of her life—she chose to keep her baby, Alex.

When Anna told others, their eyes turned cold with judgment. How could anyone even think of raising a child in such a world? Why would anyone bring a baby into the chaos that had engulfed the world? The whispers were relentless, but Anna never wavered.

Instead, those whispers only fueled her love for Alex. And when Alex was born, Anna’s heart swelled with a love she hadn’t known was possible, even in a world that had been reduced to dust. Despite the chaos, Alex was the one thing that kept Anna grounded, the one thing that made the world feel like it still had some light in it.

As Alex grew, she became aware of the sounds that filled their nights—loud, haunting screams that pierced the silence, the growls of infected just outside their door. And every day, she'd wake up to find her mother’s arms wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe from the horrors outside.

But being a Firefly, especially with a child, was never easy for Anna. Even with her boyfriend Kyle by her side, she often felt like the only parent in the relationship. Kyle and Anna would argue almost every night before one of his missions. The fights weren’t always about big things, but the little things—the words, the harsh tones, the way they shouted at each other—it all cut deep. It hurt more than either of them could admit.

Before the outbreak, their relationship had been simple. Yeah, they had their disagreements, but they never felt like this. There was a tension now, a weight to every word they said, and it was taking its toll.

One evening, while Anna was putting Alex to bed, the shouting began again. Alex, clutching a small, worn-out toy in her tiny hands, heard the voices raised in anger. The sound of her parents’ fight made her chest tighten, and tears welled up in her wide eyes.

Anna’s heart broke as she saw Alex’s tears. She immediately knelt down in front of her, scooping her up into her arms, murmuring softly, “Shh, baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s here. You’re safe.”

Kyle froze, his eyes meeting Alex’s with a flash of guilt. He hadn’t realized how much his anger affected her, and the shock of seeing his little girl so scared hit him harder than he expected. Without another word, he grabbed his jacket, walked to the door, and slammed it behind him as he left the apartment. The loud bang of the door closing made Anna jump, and Alex flinched in her arms.

Anna looked down at her daughter, her heart aching as she saw Alex’s small hand reach up to gently touch her cheek. Despite the tears that still clung to Anna’s eyes, Alex smiled up at her, a small, innocent smile that broke Anna’s heart all over again.

“Mama no cry,” Alex whispered, her little hand brushing away Anna’s tears. “Make mama happy.”

Anna smiled through her tears, pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead. “I’ll always be happy with you, baby,” she whispered, her voice barely audible as she held her close, the weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders but, for a moment, forgetting everything except the warmth of her daughter in her arms.

--

Three years later, not much had changed. Anna, Alex, and Kyle still lived together in the Boston QZ, in the same apartment Marlene—Anna’s childhood friend—had secured for them years ago. But this time, something was different.

Anna, now six months pregnant, waddled carefully toward the kitchen, one hand resting on her belly. Another baby. They didn’t know the gender, but it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that the baby was healthy.

“Mama! Dada!” Alex’s little feet pattered against the floor as she ran toward them, gripping a squeaky toy in her small hands. Her face lit up with excitement as she waved it around. “Got new toy for baby! Now baby and me play when she come!”

Her toothy grin was infectious, and Anna and Kyle couldn’t help but exchange a glance before laughing together.

“Wow! That is so cool, baby!” Anna said, crouching down with a hand on her belly. She steadied herself by holding onto Kyle, then reached out to gently run her fingers through Alex’s hair.

Kyle noticed Anna struggling, so without hesitation, he scooped Alex up into his arms, settling her into his lap before helping Anna sit down beside him.

Alex giggled, wrapping her little arms around Kyle’s neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. “Love Dada so much!” she announced before turning to her mom with a bright smile, waving her hands excitedly. “And love Mama too!”

Anna’s heart swelled. She leaned in, kissing Alex’s forehead as Kyle held them both close.

For a moment, the outside world didn’t matter.

TWO MONTHS LATER -

Night had fallen, and with it came the same routine. Another mission. Another night where Kyle had to leave with the Fireflies. And another night where Anna had to stay behind, waiting.

"Why do you have to go?" Anna whispered, her arms tightening around him as if holding on hard enough could make him stay.

Kyle sighed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before resting his forehead against hers. His hands cradled her face like she was the most fragile thing in the world. "You know I have to. It’s my turn to do the shit we volunteered for."

Tears welled in Anna’s eyes as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Gunpowder, grime, and leather—his scent. The one thing that made her feel safe. The one thing that told her he was still here.

"But you don’t have to," she murmured, her voice barely above a breath. "There are others now. You don’t have to go." She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, pleading. "I need you here. Alex needs you here. The baby needs you here. You can’t just go. What if something happens? What if the smugglers get you? What if—"

Kyle cut her off the only way he knew how. His lips crashed against hers, desperate and deep, like this was the last time he’d ever get to taste her. Because maybe it was.

He memorized the way she felt in his hands, the way her body fit against his. But even as he lost himself in her, his mind drifted—to Alex. To his little girl. God, he loved her so much it physically hurt. If he could rip his own heart out just to make sure she never had to cry, he would.

Tears streamed down his face as he pulled away, his hands still cupping Anna’s cheeks.

His voice was raw, shaky, but sure.

"I love you." His thumb brushed away a tear trailing down her skin. "I love you so much it makes my heart hurt. I love you so much it drives me crazy. To the point where I’d tear myself apart just to be near you."

A small, broken smile tugged at his lips. "I love you on your bad days. When you throw shit at me, when you scream at me over stupid things I did. I love you because you’re you. I love you because you’re the mother of our children. I love you."

looking at him with the purest pook she ever gave him, she broke down. sobbed so much it hurt her to breathe. her chest felt so heavy, it felt like her lungs were caving in on itself, and every breath she took, felt like it was last.

the fear of loosing him, coiled in her stomach making her feel sick everywhere. 'what if he hurts himself? what if he gets stuck alone and there is no one to save him?' the last thought on her mind, god, it hurt her to even think about that. she hated every second of it. she hated how they joined the fireflies in a hope that, maybe, one day, everything could go back to normal.

despite the pain in her chest and heart, a broken smile got on her face. kissing him softly, she said while caresssing his face. "you are such an asshole, you know that, right?" Kyle smiled teasingly, bringing her closer to him, while kissing the crown of her head, softly whispering. "well, you are dating this asshole. so tehnically, not my fault."

now looking at him seriously, Anna whispered out. "I love you. so much its making my head hurt just thinking about you. i love you when you have that deep frown on your face every time you think about something. i love you when youre trying to do something, youre doing it with a passion and not like youre forced to do that. i love you even though it makes my sides hurt and when I want to put myself next to your soul."

kissing him softly, she smiled, despite crying, again. "I love you when youre playing with Alex, making sure she gets all of the happines in this cruel world. i love you when im mad and youre still here, next to me, trying to make me forget about my problems. i love you for the way you are. i love you."

Kyle opened his mouth trying to say something, but then a little voice broke him out from his thoughts and he turned his head around to face the little voice. Anna saw his head turning away, so did hers. and when it did, they saw their little babygirl standing, with a blanket in her one hand and her toy in the other.

Alex’s voice now sad, and her eyes full of tears, seeing her parents crying, she cried too. "Mama? dada?" when she saw their heads turning and seeing the tears on her moms face, she runed towards her amd cried. "mama no cry. dada no cry."

kyle picked her up and wiping his tears, his voice now full of happines, because he was truly happy. his two best girls and the baby on the way, made him the richest man on the world. "hey lexie. how's my girl doing?" kyle asked trying to keep his voice calm and steady, but the crack in it made Anna cry silently. watching her little girl and the man that she loved made her heart full.

Alex’s hand wiped his tears and kissed him on the cheek, while doing the same to her mom. "me sad. mama and you crying. have bad dream." hearing her words, splitted their hearts apart, making them beat fast aganist their chests. when she had nightmares, both of them would curl up next to her and hold her like they wanted to protect her from everything in this world. Anna clearing her throat said, while wiping her tears away, ner hand now on Alex’s cheek. "oh, my little girl had a bad dream. you want kiss to make you feel better?"

Alex nod her head and both of them, Anna and Kyle, kissed Alex on her forehead, cheeks, nose, ears, neck and whenever they could do that. giggling, Alex said during the kissess she was reciving. "that tickles! no more kiss!"

both of them now grinning, Anna and Kyle kissed her once again, before Anna asked Alex, her voice quiet not to startle her. "what was the dream about, lexie?" Alex looked over her mom and her lips stared to tremble, before speaking. "monsters screaming. dada saved me and you kiss me on cheek. then i was happy."

locking eyes, Anna and Kyle looked at eachother and nod their heads, Kyle speakijg up first. "dada will always save you. i will be next to you whenever you want and i will always love you."

his hand slowly dragging over Anna’s now 8 months pregnant belly he noded down, pointing at her belly to Alex. "I will always protect you, your baby sister and your mama." kissing Alex slowly on forehead, his voice cracked before speaking up again. "Im always going to be right here." he pointed to her heart.

Anna cried softly, before speaking up after Kyle. "mama is going to be here, too. im always going to be here. to kiss your boo boo's away. to make you feel better. to make you feel the happiest in the world." caressing her cheek, Anna spoke again. "you, your baby sister that im sure it is now, and your dada, are the most important people in the world. i will always love you."

in their little moment, everything felt like it stopped. the time. the cruelness in this world. it felt like just four of them exsisted. Anna, Kyle, Alex and her little baby sister.

before Anna could say something more, a knock on the doors stopped her. the doors opening, it revealed Marlene. Kyle looked over his shoulder and his stomach dropped. he felt sick and so scared. leaving his family was the worst thing he could ever do. he didnt wanted to be on that mission. he wanted to be here, with his little family. god, if there was a chance to change the situation he was in now, he would do it without missing a beat.

Marlene watched the scene unfolding in front of her, and it made her heart feel heavy. watching her best friend and her boyfriend with a daguhter in his hands, with a upcoming baby, it made feel like she was the bad guy in here.

clearing her voice, Marlene called out, her hand gripping the door handle. "its time." and with that she closed the doors and walked out.

Anna, now looking at Kyle, her eyes full of tears, shaked her head no at Kyle, trying to make him stay. "no, please. dont go. Kyle dont go." and Kyle watched her in silence, his tears now sliding down his face. "Im sorry. Im so sorry."

Alex watched her parents cry and it made her cry too. "dada, dont go. stay." even being a kid, Alex was smarter than anybody ever could be. kissing Alex on the crown of her head, sniffing her scent in, trying to memorize the feeling of having her in his arms and then finally kissing Anna, like its the last kiss hes ever going to have feel. he leaned his forehead on hers, sobbing, and said his voice shaking, saying the words so quietly so that only she could hear them. "I love you. so much. i love you guys so much."

turning his head around to face Alex, he whispered out to her. "daddy loves you too. so much." and then finnaly he dropped Alex down on the ground, before he himself dropped on his knees, his forehead pressing aganist Anna’s belly, pressing a kiss on it, before softly whispering. "I love you kiddo. so much. be careful with mommy."

getting up from the ground, he once again pressed his lips on Anna’s, like he was saying goodbye. kissing Alex once again too, he whispered out to her. "I love you 3000." before picking his stuff from the floor and with one last glance he called out. "wait for me." and then he got out.

watching him leave, Anna felt something inside her shatter. her vision blurred, her breath hitched, and without thinking, her knees buckled. she collapsed, slowly sinking to the floor.

Alex, noticing her mother’s distress, didn’t hesitate. she ran toward Anna, throwing her small arms around her in a tight embrace. “Dada come back. Don’t worry.”

she said those last two words with such certainty, like they were a fact, like there was no other outcome. and that only made it harder.

because hope—God, hope had killed more people than Anna could count. hope was dangerous. it made people believe there was something better waiting for them. it made them believe they could survive just a little longer, just until things got better. But things never did.

still, Anna pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s face, her voice gentle, careful, as if she was trying not to break a promise. “yes, baby. daddy’s going to come back. and then it’ll be just me, you, your sister, and dada. just like before.”

and for the first time in a long time, she let herself believe it. because maybe, just maybe, he really would come back.

THREE HOURS LATER -

it was a late night, something between 3am. stars covered the clear sky, making the moon shine. Kyle had his riffle on his shoulders and a gun in his hands, just in a case. walking on a rooftop, where it was hard to be noticed, he thought about them.

his chest hurting and his breathing shallow, the photo in his fingers made him calm. him, Anna with a 4 month baby bump and Alex in his hands. the pogotovo was taken not long ago, when Anna found out that she was pregnant.

he remebers that day so clearly, like it was yesterday. the shock on his face when she told him the news and when he hugged her so thightly, Alex came in a view. her big doe eyes, stared at them in confusion, asking her dad, her head tiltling. "why dada hug mama?"

looking away from Anna, Kyle crouched down to face Alex, took her in his arms and spun her around, while yelling with a big smile on his face. "mama's pregnant!" and Alex, now giggling, when her dad spun her around, her little eyes were so wide, that it looked like they were going to pop out. "YAY! ME HAVING A BABY SISTER!" while yelling with her dad, both of them having big smiles on their faces.

Anna watched them, her hands on her belly, with a big smile on her face. she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, even though everything fell apart. the chance of being happy in this time, made her feel like she was the richest person ever. having a boyfriend, who actually loves her, no matter what argument they had, he always looked at her with so much love.

"why are you so sure its a girl?" Anna asked Kyle, burrying her nose in his neck, while he bringed her closer to him, kissing her hairline softly. "I just do. its like i have this tingle everytime i touch your stomach. its like shes responding to me, look." putting his and Alex’s hand on Anna’s stomach, he gently caressed it, before he felt a slight kick on his side. Alex now grinning when she felt the baby kicking too, whispered like she was not trying to scare off the baby.

"baby kicked mama. baby loves Alex and me loves baby sooo much." she said, her eyes twinkling, and Anna could feel a bonding moment between her and the baby. its like she knew, that one day, Alex will protect her sibling no matter what.

Anna had laughed, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she watched them. Kyle closed his eyes at the memory, pressing his lips into a tight line.

his chest ached. his throat burned. God, he missed them.

kissing the photo softly, and putting it back in his pocket, the tears in his eyes stinged so much it hurt him. his throat closed up making it hurt to breathe or to say something. because he knew, that if he said something, he could break right here.

too lost in his thoughts, his walkie-talkie ringed back to the life. a male voice called out. "kyle? come in kyle, over." quickly takjng his walkie out from his vest, kyle whispered out, his voice slightly shaken up.

"Im here. whats up?" his hands shook slightly, while gripping the walkie-talkie in his hands.

"Jason said that someone has to go to check the mall, to clear out the area." the voice called out. the words hit Kyle like a punch to the gut. "didn’t we lock down the mall for a reason?" he muttered, glancing up at the empty streets. "the place is crawling with infected."

the voice sighed and Kyle swore that he could hear the annoyance behind the voice. "I dont know man, ask Jason. he gave the orders not me." the voice paused for a second, then called out again. "and the last time we checked, the mall was empty. not a single soul was in there, so youre safe."

Kyle’s chest tightened, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. his breath, once steady, now felt too fast, too shallow. the thought of facing the infected again—the thought of dying and leaving Anna and Alex—sent a sickening churn through his gut.

he didn’t fear death itself. he’d always known it was coming. but leaving them alone... that was a thought he couldn’t shake. it made him feel weak, vulnerable.

with a deep breath, he forced himself to focus, his grip tightening on the walkie-talkie. "roger that. I’ll check it out." but as he took another step toward the mission ahead, the image of Anna and Alex lingered in his mind, a haunting reminder of what he had to lose.

--

after a few minutes of walking, Kyle found himself standing in front of the mall. he remembered this place—once bright, alive, filled with people carrying shopping bags, laughter echoing through the halls. friends chatting, families smiling, voices blending together in a hum of normalcy.

now, it was nothing but a hollow shell, its walls crumbling, its windows shattered, the silence pressing down on him like a weight.

he let out a slow breath, adjusting his grip on his rifle. his other hand held a flashlight, the beam flickering as he stepped forward. careful, quiet. the entrance loomed before him, sealed off for a reason, but orders were orders.

the doors creaked as he slipped inside, darkness swallowing him whole. dust clung to the air, and each step felt heavier than the last. he knew where he had to go—the electrical room. if he could get the lights on, he’d be able to see what he was dealing with.

navigating the ruined corridors, Kyle reached the door to the electrical room and eased it open. or at least, he tried to.

the second he let go, the universe decided to turn against him. the door slammed shut behind him with a deafening thud.

his breath caught, his heart hammering in his chest. his grip on the rifle tightened as he froze, listening. nothing. just the sound of his own pulse in his ears. he cursed under his breath, shaking his head before turning to the breaker panel.

his fingers traced over the worn-out wires, his eyes scanning for the right one. a second later, he found it. exhaling softly, he applied pressure to the loose connection, then reached for the switch.

with a flick of his wrist, he pulled the handle down.

the mall flickered back to life. lights buzzed overhead, casting long, eerie shadows across the broken floors. the silence that once suffocated him was now replaced with a low hum, the kind that made his skin crawl.

his eyes flickered to the empty storefronts, once bursting with life—shoppers darting in and out, their hands full of bags, their voices blending into a constant hum of conversation. now, the windows were shattered, dust-covered mannequins stood frozen in time, and discarded clothes lay strewn across the floor, faded and torn.

then, his gaze landed on the arcade.

for a moment, he swore he could hear it—the distant echoes of game machines beeping, the laughter of kids as they raced from one game to another, the rhythmic clatter of tokens falling into slots. his lips twitched into a faint smile.

this place—it was where he met her.

eighteen years old, desperate for an escape, he had found solace in arcades. the flashing lights, the familiar weight of a joystick in his hands—it was the only way to quiet his mind. that day, he'd been focused on setting a new high score when he noticed her.

she stood by the claw machine, blonde hair tied back in a loose ponytail, a few strands escaping to frame her face. despite the neon glow of the arcade, her eyes were the brightest thing in the room. and that smile—god, that smile—lit up everything around her. her freckles stood out in the dim light, scattered like constellations across her cheeks.

he remembered how she had huffed in frustration when the claw dropped the stuffed animal too soon, hands planted on her hips in defiance. he had laughed, unable to stop himself, and she had turned, eyes locking onto his.

"what?" she had asked, brows raised, though there was a teasing lilt in her voice.

"nothing," he had shrugged, stepping closer. "just thinking I could probably win that for you."

she had smirked, arms crossed. "oh yeah? big talk for a guy who’s probably never played this thing."

that was the start of everything.

standing there now, in the ruins of what once was, Kyle swallowed hard. the memory felt like a punch to the gut. he could almost see her—eighteen again, laughing, rolling her eyes at him.

Kyle stepped into the arcade, the faint neon glow still flickering against the walls, casting eerie shadows across the dust-covered machines. the air was thick with silence, but if he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the echoes of laughter, the chorus of game soundtracks blending together, the rhythmic clatter of buttons being mashed in excitement.

his gaze landed on a claw machine near the back.

a stuffed elephant sat among the pile of toys, its fabric faded but still intact. his heart clenched at the sight of it.

it was just like the one he had won for Anna on her birthday. he remembered how she had clutched it to her chest that night, smiling so wide it made his entire world feel lighter.

swallowing down the ache in his throat, Kyle started searching the room for coins. he moved cautiously, sifting through the dust and debris until his fingers brushed against something cool and round. a grin tugged at his lips as he picked up the scattered coins, dropping them into a small plastic bowl he had found along the way.

making his way back to the claw machine, he took a deep breath and slid a coin into the slot. the machine hummed back to life, its colorful lights blinking as if waking from a long slumber.

Kyle cracked his knuckles and placed his hand on the joystick, maneuvering the claw toward the elephant. he pressed the button, and the claw descended, gripping the toy by its ear—only for it to slip through and drop back into the pile.

"are you kidding me?" he muttered, brows furrowing.

determined, he tried again. and again. each time, the claw teased him, lifting the elephant just high enough to give him hope before letting it go.

frustration bubbling in his chest, he exhaled sharply, shaking out his hands. "alright, one more time."

he lined up the claw, eyes locked on the prize, and pressed the button with full force. the claw lowered, latched onto the elephant’s ear again, and— It held.

Kyle barely breathed as the claw inched toward the drop chute. his hands clenched into fists, his heart pounding as he silently begged the universe not to screw him over this time.

and then— the elephant tumbled into the prize slot. Kyle let out a breathless laugh, fist pumping the air in triumph. "hell yeah!"

reaching into the machine, he gently pulled out the stuffed toy, brushing off the dust before carefully tucking it into his backpack.

just the thought of bringing it home to Anna and Alex made his chest feel lighter, even in a world that had long since forgotten what joy felt like.

for them, he would always find a reason to smile.

walking out of the arcade, Kyle adjusted his rifle and flashlight, moving quickly but quietly, trying not to draw attention. the silence was suffocating, broken only by his own breath and the faint crunch of debris under his boots. his heart pounded hard in his chest, making it difficult to focus.

he checked another store, sweeping his flashlight across the dark corners. empty.

another sigh left his lips as he stepped out, gripping the walkie-talkie from his vest and pressing the side button.

“Aaron? come in. over.”

static crackled before a familiar voice responded. “Aaron here. you clear the mall? over.”

Kyle ran a hand down his face. He was exhausted. “yeah. nothing. place is dead.”

“copy that,” Aaron replied. “head back. Marlene’s gonna lose her shit if she sees you’re not in your spot.”

Kyle stopped mid-step, brows furrowing.

“…what do you mean ‘if she sees’?” his grip on the walkie tightened. “you didn’t tell her I was sent into a sealed-off building? alone? ith fucking infected crawling around?”

Aaron sighed. “look, man, not my call. Jason said it had to be done. I just passed it along.”

Kyle let out a humorless laugh. “had to be done?” his voice rose. “Aaron, are you fucking serious?”

his knuckles whitened around the walkie. “for fuck’s sake—I have two girls waiting for me. a baby on the way. and Jason just threw me into this shit without telling Marlene?”

a beat of silence. then Aaron muttered, “I didn’t have a choice. you know how bitchy Jason gets. you don’t do what he says, and suddenly you’re pulling double shifts.”

Kyle exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples. “I don’t give a shit about him. he knows I have people waiting for me. and he didn’t even clear this with Marlene?”

Aaron groaned. “Kyle, I know. but don’t put this on me, man. I’m just doing my job. not like I’m getting paid enough for this shit anyway—”

Kyle barely listened as Aaron kept talking. his focus shifted to the exit, quickening his pace, eager to be done with this place. he didn’t notice when the picture and knife slipped from his pocket, hitting the floor with a soft clink.

the noise sent his heart hammering against his ribs. he spun around, scanning the darkness, only to realize what had fallen. “…shit.”

rushing over, he snatched them up, stuffing the picture into his vest for safekeeping. he wasn’t risking that again.

Shaking off the nerves, Kyle adjusted his pack and strode toward the doors, Aaron still rambling in his ear. gripping the handle, he pushed— nothing.

Kyle frowned. tried again. the door didn’t budge. his stomach twisted. “you have to be kidding me.” cursing under his breath, he yanked his backpack off, rummaging through it for supplies. the next few minutes were a blur of failed attempts—pulling, prying, shoving. his patience wore thin.

then, with a sudden snap, the handle broke clean off. Kyle stared at it in his hand, then at the door. then—

“mother fucker!” his voice echoed through the empty mall.

frustrated beyond belief, he made a decision. fuck it. If the door wouldn’t open, he’d make it open. bracing himself, he threw his weight against the door. hard.

BANG.

Again.

BANG.

the noise was too loud, way too loud, but he didn’t care. he was so close. just one more— CRASH.

the doors burst open, slamming onto the ground with a deafening clang.

Kyle barely had time to grab his bag before— a scream. blood-curdling. echoing from deep inside the mall. his blood ran cold. every muscle in his body tensed. slowly, he turned his head.

eyes. empty, dead, and locked onto him.

one infected. emerging from the shadows, crawling over debris, snarling, its hunger razor-sharp. Kyle’s breath hitched. then they ran. and so did he.

his walkie-talkie clattered to the floor, forgotten.

--

pacing the room, Marlene glanced at the map, then the clock on the wall. 5 AM. still no sign of Kyle. no Aaron bursting through her door with a stupid grin, cracking some half-assed joke to break the tension.

something was wrong. with a frustrated sigh, she pushed up from her chair and stormed out of her office, boots thudding against the floor. her mind raced. what if something went wrong? what if they’re stuck? what if— she clenched her jaw, forcing the thoughts down. she needed answers.

reaching Jason’s office, she knocked— three sharp raps. a voice called from inside. "come in." taking a breath, she pushed the door open and stepped in, shutting it firmly behind her. Jason was at his desk, flipping through a file, barely sparing her a glance. too casual. too at ease.

"what's up?" he muttered, eyes scanning the papers like she wasn’t standing there, burning holes into his skull. Marlene folded her arms, stance rigid. her voice came out sharp. demanding. "where are they?"

Jason didn't react. didn’t even blink.

"it’s five fucking in the morning, and they’re not here. What did you do?"

Jason laughed. a quiet, dismissive chuckle, shaking his head. he still wouldn’t meet her gaze. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

wrong answer. Marlene saw red. she was done. done with his smirking, his arrogance, his bullshit. in a flash, she moved—circling the desk, grabbing his collar, yanking him up from his chair.

Jason staggered, hands gripping her wrists, but she didn’t let go.

Marlene sneered, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "don’t bullshit me, Jason." she tightened her grip. "tell me where Kyle and Aaron are. now."

Jason’s breath hitched. he grabbed at her wrist, struggling, trying to pry her off, but she held firm. he gasped, his hands dropping limply to his sides as the oxygen left him. his eyes darted wildly, fear creeping into them. finally, in a ragged, desperate breath, he choked out, "okay, okay—I’ll tell you, just please—"

then— BANG. the door slammed open, rattling the walls. Marlene’s head snapped toward the entrance as Aaron stumbled in, panting, chest heaving.

"Marlene..." his voice was raw, urgent. his hands trembled as he tried to catch his breath. "Kyle—he’s in trouble."

for a split second, everything stopped.

Marlene’s grip slackened, and Jason collapsed back against the desk, coughing violently. but she didn’t look at him. she was already moving. her boots pounded against the floor as she rushed to her office, ripping open drawers, grabbing weapons, supplies—anything she could carry. Her mind screamed at her. this is your fault. you shouldn’t have let him go. you should have stopped him.

Marlene shoved a pistol into its holster, slung a rifle over her back. her hands were shaking. she swallowed the fear, turned to Aaron, and barked, "get what you need and come with me." her voice wavered. she didn’t have time to pray.

but still, under her breath, she whispered, "please. just let him make it."

--

breathing heavily, he clutched his side of ribs, trying to stop the bleeding. the blood gushed through his hands, the color now grimson red. cursing he looked down at the huge cut and hissed. "fuck... this shit really hurts huh?" kyle spoke up between the quick breaths looking at the infected, now dead, talking to himself.

scoffing and turning his head around, the sight making him gag. the sight of blood always made him like this, and yes he knows its stupid. six years into the apocalypse he saw a lots of blood and the stuff anyone was supposed to see.

sighing he thought about the times when the only problem in his life was how to get a girlfriend without making a fool out of himself. the time when he got to see his mom's homemade meals and the times when he argued with his dad over stupid things. the time when he met her. the love of his life. when he first told her that he liked her and the time he got the chance to kiss her. the time when he told her that he loved her. god, just thinking about that made him smile like a highschooler.

over years he thought about one thing. spending the rest of his life with her. growing old with her, their children next to them while their grandchidren ran around the yard, screaming and playing together. and yet he didnt got the chance to ask her the only one thing he always wanted to. to marry him.

every day he saved his money, hoping that maybe one day, he would have the balls to ask her that. and every time he had the chance, he chickened out. what if she doesnt wants to spend her life with me? what if she doesnt loves me anymore? what if im not good enough for her? those thoughts were driving him crazy. made him wanting to rip his own heart out and yell out how much he loved her. how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

and the time when he actually got the courrage to ask her that question, the world went to hell. he remebers the day so clearly, like it was yesterday. the time when she called him, her breath stuck in her throat, sobbing violently and begging him to come and save her. "kyle- something is happening, something bad. people here are screaming and-." static. the line cut off. so he ran. he ran like his life depended on her. thats because it was. he couldn’t do this alone. not without her.

the ring in the box, hidden from her for months was laying down on the ground, forgotten in a rush. to this day, hes always cursing himself for forgeting the ring. if he only had the chance to go back to time and ask her sooner, he would do it all over again.

too bussy reminding himself of his past, the veins on his side grew. bit by bit, his whole side was covered in spores. right. the bite. he knew what was coming. and he wasnt running away from it. for the first time in his life, kyle accepted his fate.

crying softly taking the picture out from his vest, he smiled at it. bringing the picture closer to his lips, he kissed the picture, imagining his little family. his Anna, his Alex and his his unborn baby. it hurt knowing that he wont be there to watch his baby girls grow up. to watch the love of his life spending her life alone. without him. "I love you guys so fucking much." he whispered to the photo, as if they were here, next to him.

he imagined the way that Anna would wrap his side trying to make the blood stop from seeping away. the way that Alex would prepper the kissess on his face, blabering about anything to make her dada feel better. the way that his hand wouldnt leave Anna’s pregnant belly, feeling the little kicks on his hand.

the pain on his side was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. the hoolow ache making his breath heavy, his heart pounding in such a cruel way. to remind him that it was over.

hearing the faint sound of footsteps, Kyle’s hand instinctively reached for the gun at his side, his fingers tightening around the grip, preparing to defend himself. but the voice that broke the silence made him exhale sharply.

"you don’t have to shoot. It’s just us. just me and Aaron." Kyle’s shoulders slumped, exhaustion weighing him down as he lowered the gun, grunting in pain.

“could’ve said that earlier,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his head tilting back against the wall. the world felt distant as the room seemed to tilt. blood pooled around him, and for a moment, he forgot where he was. the pain was nothing compared to what was coming.

Marlene’s voice broke through the fog of his thoughts. "what happened? Why are you here? how did you get in here? Kyle—"

he raised a hand, cutting her off. "stop," Kyle rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. "you know what happened. you know how it went down. it just… happened." he stared at the ceiling, his voice quiet. "i tried to stop it… but my mind kept drifting to them. to her. to them… and I couldn’t… I just couldn’t fight it."

Marlene’s eyes filled with tears as she took a step closer, her face pale in shock and disbelief. “Kyle, please… we can stop the bleeding, I can help you, I just need—"

Kyle’s laugh was bitter, the sound rasping in his throat. "help me? Marlene, you and I both know what’s coming. there’s no helping this. I’m gonna turn. I’m gonna be one of them. and there’s nothing anyone can do about it." his voice cracked, the tears slipping down his face as he struggled to hold it together.

"please," he whispered, his words pained and desperate. "please, just—" but Marlene wouldn’t let him finish. she cut him off, her voice shaking. “don’t you dare say that. don’t you dare ask me to—” Kyle’s eyes snapped to hers, his voice cracking with emotion. "you think I don’t want to go back to them? you think I don’t want to hear their voices again? feel her touch? hold them just one more time?"

he was shaking now, his chest rising and falling rapidly as the emotion spilled out. "God, Marlene, I would do anything to go back. anything. but I can’t. it’s too late. it’s too far gone." tears mixed with the blood on his face as he reached for her. "please," he begged, his voice hoarse. "i need you to do it. i need you to kill me before I turn. you promised—" he choked on his words, barely able to speak. "you promised you’d protect them if something happened to me."

Marlene recoiled, horrified by the request. “i can’t… i can’t do that. i can’t end your life. not like this. not like you’re asking me to.”

Kyle’s hand fell weakly to his chest, his breath shallow. "Marlene, please." his voice was barely a whisper. "you promised."

Marlene hesitated once again, her hands shaking and her mind racing. the thought of killing her best friends boyfriend made her sick. "what about her? what do I tell her? what do I tell to a three year old, whos asking for her dad, waiting to come back?"

she choked up on her words, she wanted to take them back, she wanted to change everything. "what do I tell to Anna? do I tell her that i killed you? do I tell her I killed you juat because you wanted that? huh?"

kyle sighed out, a slight smile on his face just thinking about them. "you tell them i love all three of them so much. you tell my Anna i wished that if the things were diffrend, that i would make her mine forever. that i would marry her with no hesitation."

tears were framing his face now. the breaths he took were fast and ragged. "you tell my Alex that daddy loves her so much. that she is going to be my baby forever. you tell her I love her 3000."

even through his tears, talking about his family made him happy. it always did. but then he remembered the baby.

“you tell our baby I’m sorry,” Kyle whispered, his voice breaking. “for leaving. for not being there. for making her grow up without me.” his fingers trembled as he clutched the photo tighter, pressing it against his lips. “tell Anna to name her Ellie. our little Ellie.”

with a grunt, he reached for his backpack, fumbling through the blood-soaked fabric. his breath hitched as he pulled out two things: a small stuffed elephant and a knife. “you give these to them.” he held up the elephant first, his voice shaking. “Alex gets this. she loves elephants.” then he looked at the knife. “and this… this is for Anna.”

Marlene watched, frozen in place, as Kyle kissed the picture one last time before carefully stuffing it inside the elephant’s worn fabric. his bloody fingerprints stained the toy as he pressed it to his chest, his body wracked with sobs.

“tell them I’m sorry,” he choked out. “for everything. for not listening to Anna. for not being there when it mattered.” his breath came faster now, his body trembling violently. “Marlene.” he met her eyes, desperate. “do it. now. please. this is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”

she shook her head, her grip tightening on the gun at her side. “I can’t.” Kyle let out a broken, guttural sob. “please! Ppease, Marlene! kill me before I—” his words cut off in a strangled cry as his body jerked, muscles seizing, his eyes wild and unfocused.

then, he moved. It happened fast—too fast.

“DO IT!” he screamed as he lunged toward her.

the shot rang out before she could think.

a body hit the floor. silence.

Marlene stood there, her breath ragged, her hands shaking so hard the gun nearly slipped from her grip. the room was suffocatingly still, except for the quiet, broken sobs that fell from her lips.

she had done it. she had killed her best friend’s love. she had killed Alex’s father. she had killed Ellie’s father.

and now, she had to tell them why.

--

Anna paced the room, her arms wrapped around herself, her breath uneven. the lump in her throat made it hard to swallow, the tightness in her chest making every breath feel shallow. worry gnawed at her, twisting in her gut like a knife.

she stopped abruptly, pressing a hand to her stomach as sharp kicks jabbed at her side. the baby was restless—just like her. A soft smile tugged at her lips despite the anxiety weighing her down.

"hey, you," she murmured, running her fingers in slow circles over her belly. "you feeling okay in there?" another kick. a stronger one. Anna chuckled, blinking away the sting in her eyes. "sorry for making you upset. I'm just worried about your dad."

as if in response, the baby kicked again.

"you love your dad, huh?" another kick. "okay, okay, I get it. you love him more than me."

the small moment of warmth settled over her like a fragile blanket, but it didn't last. her eyes drifted to the bed where Alex lay curled up, wrapped in a thick blanket, her tiny fingers gripping the teddy bear Kyle had found for her. that bear was her lifeline—but not as much as her father was. Alex adored Kyle, always trailing after him, laughing at his silly jokes, teaming up with him to tease Anna.

Anna smiled, brushing a few strands of hair from Alex’s peaceful face before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. her heart ached with memories. she remembered the first time she told Kyle she was pregnant with Alex—how terrified she’d been, how she had braced herself for disappointment or fear in his eyes.

but his reaction had been nothing like she expected.

she could still see it so clearly—his wide-eyed shock melting into the biggest grin she had ever seen. and then, before she could even say another word, he had grabbed her, kissed her breathless, and spun her around like an idiot.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" he had shouted to anyone who would listen. "do you hear that? I'm gonna be a dad!" she had laughed, embarrassed, but his excitement was infectious. that whole day, he wouldn’t shut up about it, telling everyone in the QZ, beaming like he had won the lottery.

but she also remembered the looks they got—pitying glances, quiet murmurs. a baby in this world? what were they thinking?

and honestly, she had wondered the same thing. when he caught her growing quiet, he had cupped her face in his hands, pressing gentle kisses across her cheeks, her forehead, her lips.

"ignore them," he had whispered. "fuck 'em all. this? what you're carrying? it's a goddamn miracle." he had kissed her again, softer this time, and rested his forehead against hers. "and I love you for it. I love us."

now, sitting beside Alex in the dimly lit room, she wished she could hold onto that moment forever. but the ache in her chest reminded her of reality. Kyle wasn’t here. and the waiting was killing her.

Too lost in her thoughts, Anna barely noticed the soft murmur that came from Alex. "Dada... miss Dada." Her heart clenched. The ache in her chest sharpened, spreading to her sides. Just hearing those words made her mind spiral. She tried to steady her breathing, to push down the storm building inside her, but it was useless.

Leaning down, she pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s forehead, whispering into her ear. "Love you so much. I’ll be back."

She slipped off the bed carefully, making sure not to wake her, then moved to the door. Her fingers trembled as she turned the key, locking it behind her.

With each step down the dimly lit hallway, her breathing quickened. She ran through everything she wanted to say, everything she needed to ask—but no words felt right. By the time she reached the other side of the building, she wasn’t even thinking anymore. Just moving.

Anna stopped in front of Marlene’s office and knocked—three times, sharp and deliberate. Silence. Her pulse pounded in her ears. She tried again, rattling the doorknob harder this time. "Marlene."

Nothing. Her chest tightened. Panic crept up her throat. She slammed her fist against the door, her voice breaking. "Open the goddamn door, Marlene. Just—please, open it."

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Anna’s breath hitched as she pressed her forehead against the door.

"Marlene." Her voice wavered now, quieter, but no less desperate. Still no answer.

Her hand curled into a fist, nails digging into her palm. She tried to breathe through the anger, through the grief clawing at her throat. But it was useless. With a sharp inhale, she stepped back and slammed her fist against the door again.

"If you don’t open this fucking door, I swear to God—" The lock clicked. The door cracked open just enough for Anna to see a sliver of Marlene’s face. Tired. Hollow. Eyes heavy with something Anna couldn’t place—regret? Guilt?

Anna’s breath hitched as she met Marlene’s eyes, stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. Marlene didn’t turn, her gaze locked on the window, hands trembling at her sides. That didn’t go unnoticed.

"Hey," Anna murmured, stepping closer. "You seem shaken up. What’s wrong?"

When Marlene didn’t answer, Anna pulled her into a hug, her limbs aching with every movement. The second their bodies touched, she felt it—Marlene was stiff, barely holding herself together.

Something was wrong. Anna pulled away, searching her face. "Hey, hey, what’s going on? Did something happen to you? Are you okay?" Marlene’s breath hitched—and then she crumbled.

Her shoulders shook as she broke down in front of Anna, sobs tearing through her. Anna froze, her heart slamming against her ribs. Something happened.

Her mind raced, possibilities running too fast to catch, but one name lodged itself in her throat. "Did—did something happen to anyone? To Kyle?"

Marlene flinched. And then she sobbed harder. The floor beneath Anna may as well have shattered. A sharp gasp escaped her as her vision blurred. No. No, that wasn’t right. Kyle was fine. He was safe. He was coming home. Just like he promised.

"Kyle’s coming home, right?" Anna whispered, desperation clawing at her throat. "He’s on his way to me, to Alex. Right, Marlene?" Marlene shut her eyes, her entire body trembling. "I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry."

The world cracked open. Anna’s breath turned ragged, her chest caving in on itself. "No—no, you’re lying. You’re fucking lying." She stumbled back, gripping her hair with one hand, the other clutching her belly. The kicks against her ribs sharpened, a cruel reminder of reality.

But she refused to believe it. "Kyle—he’s coming back to me," she choked out, shaking her head violently. "He’s alive."

Her voice wavered, but her anger did not.

Something inside her snapped. "STOP FUCKING LYING!" The scream tore through her, raw and broken. "HE’S COMING HOME TO ME! DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"

Then the punching began. Her fists slammed into Marlene’s face, her sides—anywhere she could reach. She wasn’t holding back. She couldn’t. The pain was unbearable, and this was the only way to let it out.

Marlene caught her wrists, pinning them to her sides. Their foreheads pressed together, hot tears mixing between them.

"He’s not coming home," Marlene whispered, her voice cracking. "And I am so, so sorry." Anna’s body trembled, her head shaking weakly. "No," she sobbed, fresh tears spilling down her face.

With every tear that hit the floor, she felt herself breaking further.

Her insides ached, but nothing compared to the agony in her chest. God, her heart.

It felt like someone had taken a knife to it and twisted, over and over again. The baby kicked, grounding her, but all it did was remind her—Kyle was gone. Alex and the baby would grow up without him.

Without their rock. Without the man who made them feel safe.

And she—she would have to live without the love of her life. The man who showed her what love was. How it could make her the happiest in the world and, at the same time, completely destroy her. She sobbed, the sound ripped from her soul.

Marlene slowly pulled away, her face twisted with sorrow as she reached into her bag.

Anna barely registered her movements until something soft and cold was pressed into her hands. She looked down. A bloodied stuffed elephant. A knife. Her breath hitched. Her fingers trembled as she lifted the elephant to her chest, clutching it like a lifeline. The knife—God, the knife—her lips pressed to the blood-stained handle, where his hands had once been.

He was still here. Just for a moment, she could still feel him. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

“He told me to give you the knife and the elephant to Alex.” Marlene’s voice wavered, thick with grief. “There’s also a photo inside the elephant.”

Anna barely registered the words. Her fingers tightened around the stuffed toy and the blade, both stained with his blood. They still felt warm, like he had just been holding them.

Marlene took a shaky breath and stepped closer, cupping Anna’s face in her trembling hands. “He said he loves you,” she whispered. “He loves Alex, too. And… he said to name the baby Ellie.”

Anna let out a laugh—sharp, broken, and soaked in tears. It bubbled up from somewhere deep, somewhere raw. “That idiot,” she choked out. “That absolute fucking idiot.” Her voice cracked, betraying the ache in her chest.

She flipped the elephant over, hands unsteady, and pulled out the photo. And god—god, it hurt. Kyle’s face stared back at her, frozen in time. His wide, stupid smile, his face smudged with dirt, his hair a mess. Alex was in his arms, grinning just as big, her tiny hands clutching his jacket. His other hand rested on Anna’s belly.

A life that was theirs. A life that was supposed to be theirs.

Anna’s breath hitched as she pressed the photo to her lips, squeezing her eyes shut, as if holding it close enough could bring him back.

Anna’s breath caught as she pressed the photo to her lips, squeezing her eyes shut as if holding it close enough could somehow bring him back. “I love you so much,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I promise, I’ll keep an eye on them, no matter what.”

A shaky smile tugged at her lips, though the tears kept falling. She could barely speak through the sobs. “And I promise... you’ll be the only man I ever love, for as long as I live.”

14 YEARS LATER -

"Ellie, for the love of God, stop! You're going to break your arms off," Alex muttered, her voice a mix of frustration and disbelief. She was sitting cross-legged on the dusty floor, surrounded by piles of debris, while Ellie—being Ellie—was still trying to force her way out of the handcuffs with all the determination of a bull.

"No," Ellie snapped, her short response enough to explain everything. The 14-year-old tugged again, her brow furrowed in concentration as she yanked on the cuffs, refusing to give up.

Alex rolled her eyes, slumping against the wall with a resigned sigh. She closed her eyes for a moment, her mind drifting back to three weeks ago. Back when their life—at least the little bit of peace they'd managed to find—felt somewhat stable.

She could still picture it clearly: the cramped room they had shared, the excitement in Ellie’s eyes when they'd gotten the new bunk bed. It wasn’t just about the bed—it was a piece of normalcy they hadn’t had in years. Ellie had jumped at the chance to sleep on top, her laughter echoing through the small room as she declared victory in their little sibling battle.

"Top bunk’s mine," Ellie had grinned, practically bouncing as she climbed to the top.

Alex had tried to argue, of course. She was the older one. "No, I’m the oldest! I get the top bunk."

Ellie had looked at her, giving that defiant grin that Alex knew all too well. "Doesn’t matter. I’m going up there. You can deal with it."

And so, Alex had huffed, crossing her arms in mock frustration, even though a small part of her had been relieved. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with Monica’s snoring anymore. That alone made the bottom bunk more bearable. But now... now those simple moments seemed so far away. The bunk bed, Ellie’s defiant grin, the moments of peace—it felt like a lifetime ago.

Ellie was still tugging at the cuffs, but this time Alex just watched her for a second longer, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She remembered what it felt like to fight over something so small, something so... normal.

"You're impossible," Alex muttered, not with real anger but with that familiar affection. "You know that, right?"

Ellie shot her a quick glance, grinning despite the situation. "Yeah, I know. But you love me anyway."

And for a brief moment, Alex did love her. Maybe a little more than she had before. Because, despite everything—despite the madness and the loss—they were still here. They were still fighting. And that, for Alex, was enough.

-- 

It was a late night, rain falling from the sky, the sky was pitch black, just perfect time to sleep. At least that's what Alex thought. Climbing the window, the poles were wet and impossible to hang on. After a while she finally reached the top, her hand landing on something sticky. She raised her hand to see what's on it and she cursed under her breath. It was a shit from the bird.

The white, sticky substance made Alex's stomach churn. Deciding to ignore it for right now, Alex took one final reach to the window, opened it and got quietly inside. Opening the window, Alex got inside, first taking off her shoes and her wet jacket that had sticked on her like it was her second skin. ‘ew.’ just the thought of having the jacked on her frame a bit longer, made her feel like she wanted to throw up.  

Turning to the wall, Alex took off her jacked and her boots, while changing her clothes. huffing out breath when shirt stuck on her face, she cursed once again and, well, tried get her head out from the damn shirt. After a minute of fighting with a shirt, Alex took off the shirt and sighed out when the shirt finally came off from her. Ready to go to her bed, she turned around and then- a figure screamed out, their knife close to Alex’s face. Alex defended herself, twisting the knife from the person’s arm and grabbing them by their arms and put their head on Alex's bed. “You do that one more time, I swear to god, I am going to throw you out the window.” Alex spoke out, her breath catching in her throat and adrenaline radiating in her veins. 

“Yeah, well you should announce yourself when you're back, not getting in like you're trying to kill me.” Ellie sighed out, her breath quick and her heart pounding in her ears. “Plus, if you throw me out from the window, who's going to annoy your ass?” Ellie winced from the pressure, Alex was pressing to her head, and she tried to get away from her grasp, but Alex only glared at her and smirked. “Yield, then I'll let you go.” Ellie shook her head no, pride filing her voice. “No fucking way, ‘ll rather die than do that shit-” Alex pressed harder on Ellie’s head, and then finally, Ellie yelped and chocked out “okay! Okay, Jesus fine! I yield! I yield!”  

Away from her grasp, Ellie straightened up, her back cracking with each move she made and then she glared at Alex. “You're stupid, you know that right? You wannish for like a week, and then you decide to show up again, like you’re some sort of magician.” Ellie starred at her while Alex starred at her, worry and regret filling her eyes, for leaving her little sister lone. “I'm sorry, I thought it was going to take just a day, and it was going to, but then Jason told me that I have to go on another location and I just-” the next thing that Alex felt was Ellie's pair of arms around her frame, pulling her in a tight hug. The hug that could heal deepest wounds and make you feel like you're safe in someone's arms.  

Alex had no hesitation and circled her arms around Ellie, their limbs pressing onto each other's. She felt horrible for making her little sister worried. Whispering in Ellie’s ear, Alex spoke out, kissing Ellie’s head. “Sorry for worrying you, I promise that for the next two weeks, you and I are doing whatever you want.” and the look that Ellie gave it her made her want to take that back, because the grin on Ellie’s face? Oh yeah, Alex was in deep shit.  

“Really? Anything that I want?” Ellie giggled, stepping away from Alex and looking at her with an evil twinkle in her eyes. “Oh, I want to take it back so bad right now.” Alex whined while Ellie just smiled.  “Can I take it back? I'll take it back. You’re impossible to talk. I swear to God Ellie, if it's something stupid, I am really throwing you out the window-” 

“Don't worry, it's her way on convincing you that there is nothing to worry about. Right Ellie?” then a figure spoke up behind Alex. Turning around, Ellie and Alex saw Riley climbing up the window and with few huffs and puffs, Riley got in the room and closed the window. “Hey, what are we talking about?” Riley now stood tall with her hands on her hips and smile framed her face. Being next to window made her freckles shine under the light, making Ellie blush slightly and looking away. 

That didn't went unnoticed by Alex who was now grinning from ear to ear, teasing Ellie. She wanted to tell Alex to fuck off, but Riley beat her to it. “What? You’re not going to say hi? Or at least say that you’re glad to see me?” Riley asked, her hands dropping on her sides.  

Ellie just glared at her and turned around to go back to her bed. “Why would I? You decide to just sneak away for a night and then never come back.” turning around, Ellie faced Riley, her eyes stinged at how much she had tried to keep them away from falling down her face. Ellie paused, her voice barely above a whisper. “Everyone is leaving me. You, Alex. If you guys just want to leave forever, then fucking say so.” 

Alex’s eyes widened and a pang echoed in her chest. She didn't know that leaving her alone made her feel this way. She hated being the reason when her sister was sad. Looking away, Alex spoke in a slow voice, guilt filling every part of her body. “I'm sorry for making you feel like that, Ells. I swear, fuck- I'm sorry.”  riley on the other hand looked to the ground, avoiding Ellie's eyes, shame filling her entire body. If she knew what Ellie was feeling now, she would be mad too. Just the thought of Ellie or Alex disappearing out nowhere, made her worried. “I’m sorry for making you feel that way. It wasn't my intention. I was just trying to surprise you.” 

Ellies eyes were now full of anger, sadness seeping out of them. “Surprise me? How Riley? By leaving me alone? By making me feel like an idiot? Like I'm some toy, you decided to throw away?” Ellie’s voice was louder now. Loud enough to make an echo in their shared room; the room that Ellie, Alex and Riley had shared.  

Riley paused and then spoke up, her voice thin and quiet. “Surprise you by making you have the best night of your life. With me. With Alex. Nobody else, but us.” tears were sliding down Riley’s face, her eyes red and filled with guilt.  

Ellie’s face fell. Her face before angry, now it was shocked. She was angry at herself for bursting so easily for taking her anger out on her sister, the person who was always with her, who was always on her side, no matter what. On Riley too, she was the person who made Ellie laugh so hard, her stomach filling with butterflies, sending her on the cloud nine. She was the one who Ellie felt seen but not exposed. She was the person that Ellie finally realized that she is in love.  

Ellie’s breath caught in her throat. Her heart was at war with itself—anger clawing at the edges of her chest while something softer, more vulnerable, tried to break free. She wanted to scream, to run, but she also just wanted to be held, to be understood. 

Sighing Ellie rolled her eyes and wiped them dry, because the tears were falling down her face. Punching Riley’s and Alex's shoulders, she told them, her voice slightly cracking. “Yeah, I'm sorry for lashing out, I guess.” Alex’s face grew in a smile and riley just laughed her face stained with tears. “Yeah, you're sorry because you want to see the surprise.” Alex spoke up.  

Giggling, Ellie threw a pillow on Alex’s face and before she could catch it, it was already on her face. “Well, then, take your big girl pants on and follow me, my lady.” Riley spoke up, her voice now playful and teasing. 

--

Waking up from the short nap, Alex opened her eyes, and she saw Ellie, who was pulling on the chains an hour ago, now fast asleep on her shoulder. Being stubborn in this world carried a lot of consequences, but Ellie being Ellie, she loved that. She loved having control of her own actions, even if it meant that she is going to get in trouble for whatever reason. But having an older sister was even better. Ellie loved Alex so much, that even if having an absolute control of her actions wasn't even enough, because it means that Alex was, the one who always reminded her that she is going to be her sister forever and ever. It meant that Alex was going to annoy Ellie about how dangerous it was to be reckless, to be stubborn, to not accept that people come and go, whether we like it or not. 

Feeling Alex's stare at her, Ellie grumbled in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes. “You know its disrespectful when you’re starring at people like that? You’re scaring them off like that.” Alex just shrugged her shoulders and said with sarcasm dripping in her voice. “Well, that makes two of us.” 

Rolling her eyes, Ellie got up from Alex’s shoulder and stretched out. “How long was I out?”   

“Don't know, maybe like an hour?” 

“And you didn't even bother to wake me up?”  

“Why would I wake you up Ellie? To watch you pulling on the chains?” 

“Exactly! Because unlike you, I'm trying to get us out!”

Alex rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something, but the sound of the doors opening stopped her. Glancing on the other side, she saw a woman in her thirties, the same woman who has been ‘testing’ her and Ellie to see if they are going to turn. Ellie, however, got up from the floor and glared at the woman who was 6 feet away from them, as if she was keeping her distance from them. Ellie looked at the plate she and Alex had from the other day and pushed with her foot, forcing it away from her.  

The woman looked at her papers, a pen in her hand, writing down something. Then she spoke up. “Count slowly and steady.” Ellie rolled her eyes and began counting fast. “onetwothreefour-” the woman looked up from her papers, her voice annoyed and clipped. “Slowly and steady” Alex, now enough of her shit, got up from the floor ang began to count instead of Ellie, because she knew that if she began to say something, she’ll have to deal with it, and she wasn't in the mood for that.  

“One, two, three, four, five” with each number she recited she stared at the woman, her eyes sharpening with every move the woman made. “Six, seven, eight, fuck you.” and then a smirk appeared on Alex's face, her middle finger raised at the end of her sentence. Ellie who was next to her, smiled so big Alex could swear that the heaven above blessed her. “Fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about!” Ellie high fived Alex, who had the same smile on her face.

The woman rolled her eyes and grumbled something under her breath. Writing something down, she spoke up again. “Now hold up your ha-” and there stood Ellie and Alex, their hands extended out, their posture still. The woman wrote again something in her file. Sighing woman shook her head slowly and spoke up, her voice clipped and short. “State out your names. Slowly.” 

Muttering under her breath, Ellie spoke up annoyed. “Veronica. The same as today, the same as yesterday, and the day before and the day before and the-” Alex cut her off by speaking up. “Alex Williams. Something else?” and she swore, Ellie's eyes fell out from her head, her mouth opening in a shock. “Dude! What the fuck? Why are you stating out your real fucking name?” Ellie whisper shouted.  

Alex turned to face Ellie, and she shrugged her shoulders. The woman wrote something gain and then she closed her file, clutching it to her side. And then she turned round and got out from the room, while them man appeared behind the woman and took the plate from the ground, his back now facing them as he slammed the doors behind him, getting out from the room.   

“Hey!” Ellie shouted and her voice muffled when the doors closed. “HEY! People are gonna come looking for us. People from FEDRA.” her voice cracked with every word she said, breaking Alex's heart. She hated to see Ellie broken apart, her face once filled with smiles, now with nothing else but guilt and anger. “You hear me?! Let us go or you’re gonna pay motherfuckers!”  

Alex saw Ellie's distress and she called out her name. “Ellie, leave it.”  Seeing tears falling her face, she pulled Ellie in a tight hug. The kind of hug that healed all the wounds, the kind of hug that made Ellie forget about all the problems she faced. “Why won't they let us go home?” Ellie said, her voice cracking with every word she said.  Alex could feel her heart breaking in pieces. The tough of Ellie carrying all the problems alone, made her feel uneasy. It made her chest feel like she can't breathe.  

Taking Ellie’s face in her arms, Alex said, wiping away Ellie’s tears. “Hey, hey, Ellie. Hear me out, okay.” Sniffing, Ellie raised her head and looked Alex right in the eyes, when she did, she saw a smile on Alex’s face, like it was the only thing that grounded Ellie from going insane. “There you go. Listen- maybe one day, the day that we are going to escape from this hellhole, we are going to have our own place. The place to live together, to laugh, to eat, to make new memories and the place where we are going to pretend like everything is okay.” tears were dropping on Alex's face, her mind wandering to her dad, to her mom. The time when everything was perfect, even though the world went to shit.   

She can remember her mom’s laugh, it sounded just like Ellie's, her face scrunching up and the way her teeth were showing up every time she smiled. She looked at Ellie one more time and she nodded her head. Yep, just like their mom. She could also remember her dad. She remembers the way his face would scrunch in confusion, his eyebrows making a weird shape that she had. She knew that because Ellie told her so, million times. She remembers the way that he would cackle and the way his eyes would shine so bright, lighter than a diamond. Both of Ellie and her had his eyes, but Ellie had the shape of her mom’s, while Alex had the shape of her dad’s. 

Ellie is energetic, just like their mom, while Alex is calmer, just like their dad. While Ellie is the sun, Alex is the moon. Ellie is sharp on her tongue, she does not care what other people think about her, she's her own person. While Alex is the kind of that will search for comfort in the people that she's closest with. She will run away from her problems, not wanting to face them. Not wanting to remind herself of them. She will pretend like they don't exist. Ellie was like mom, brave, sharp and stubborn, while Alex was like dad. She will protect her loved ones even if it meant that she will be the one who will be gone at the end of a day.  

“We can go to the moon; we can go back in time and see all the dinosaurs you're interested in. We can explore various of books we want to read, the songs we want to listen. We can have monkeys as pets.” hearing that, Ellie laughed, her chest shaking and her smile so wide that could heal all Alex's wounds. “Can we have Captain America as our neighbor?” Ellie asked her tears shining with tears sliding her face, the happy tears. Alex's eyes were so wide and the sound that she had just made, it was hilarious. It gave comfort to Ellie. It gave her hope, that maybe one day, everything could be perfect.  

“We can even have Thor as our teacher about space.” and with that Alex hugged Ellie ono more time, but this time it felt like the darkness, the ugliness and everything in this world didn’t exist. It felt like everything was just like it was supposed to be.  

Alex sighed out a breath she was holding, and she whispered out to Ellie, like she was the only person she was supposed to hear, and no one else. “I love you 3000.”  

Ellie grinned and whispered out. “I could say the same about you too, sis” and with that Alex punched Ellie in the shoulder, while both sister’s laughs echoed in the room. 

--

After many hours and how Ellie would say it ‘more like thousand years later’, a knock interrupted their peaceful sleep. Alex's eyes fluttered open, the sun blocking her view. Ellie jolted awake and as if on command she began counting again. “One, two, three, four-” and then Ellie was the one who saw the woman in her thirties, her skin dark and her curly hair wrapped in a low ponytail, few strands of her hair framing her face.  

On her sides, the woman carried two backpacks. One was Ellie's and the other was Alex's. Nudging Alex, Ellie whisper-shouted to her. “Hey, Lexie wake up, man” With heavy sigh, Alex craned her neck and looked at the woman. The woman looked skeptically at the girls, her eyes widening with every move they made. Finally, deciding to give the girls their backpacks, she threw them on the floor. Ellie was the first one to pick up her own backpack, her fingers opening the zipper and then finally- she sighed out and took the knife and held it closer to her chest, her fingers fiddling it with it. Alex on the other side, looked at the woman and then took her own backpack and slowly opened the backpack, her eyes scanning the inside of it. When her eyes fell on two things, she sighed out and she closed it, clutching the backpack so close to her.  

“You're not scared.” Alex voiced out, her breath slow and her eyes sharpening with every move the lady made. She really didn't look scared, and it made Alex uncomfortable. 

“Then unlock us” Ellie voiced out both for her and Alex. She really hated the feeling of the cuffs on her hand.  

The woman just scoffed and said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “How about we start with thank you?”  

Alex and Ellie said at the same time, their faces confused. “For what?” 

The woman cocked her eyebrows and told them, her voice loud enough for them to hear. “For saving your lives? For telling them not to shoot at you girls? That was me, just in case you didn't know.”  

“And who are you?” Alex asked, her curiosity winning. 

The woman smiled and shook her head. “I'm Marlene.” and Alex swears, her eyes never widened so fast. So, she is the woman who was the leader of the fireflies. Alex thought.  

However, Ellie didn't care for Marlene's name, so she asked her the question that been bugging her since she came in here. “Why did you stop them?” Marlene just shrugged and answered. “We’ll get to that.” 

Deciding to unlock the cuffs from the girl's hands, Marlene leaned forward causing for Ellie to raise her knife away from her and Alex to grab the broken glass from the floor and pointing to Marlene's way. Marlene leaned back and raised her hand, revealing the key in her hand. When the girls saw the key in Marlene's rasp, they looked at each other and nodded their heads. Marlene unlocked Ellie's cuff and then did the same to Alex.  “So, Veronica... Alex” Alex just glared at her while Ellie just giggled at Alex's face. “How do ya feel?”  

“The same.” Alex answered for both of her and Ellie.  

“Is it gonna happen?” Ellie asked, fear filling her voice. The thought of turning in one of them, scared her more than she thought. 

“So, can we go?” Alex asked.  

“We won't tell anyone about any of this, I swear.” Ellie slowly said, her voice full of hope, that Marlene would let them out and they could go back home. The thought of being in this hellhole for one more day, made her feel insane. It made her skin crawl with fear.  

Marlene leaned backwards, her arms crossing and her eyebrows cocking in confusion. “And where are you gonna go?” her voice was now loud and sharp. “Back to FEDRA military school? Are you that desperate to be a solider?” then she turned to Alex and asked her the question that made Alex's heart stop and her breathing gone.  “And you Alex? Do you want to kill your sister, just because she has to kill you? Because you want to make sure that the world one day everything comes back to normal?” Marlene spat. 

Just thinking about that made Alex curl up to herself and never wake up again. Just the thought of her little sister not being here anymore because of her, it made her stop and think about what Marlene just said. ‘Kill Ellie?’ the thought ran around Alex's mind like an echo, her mind glitching and imagining every worst-case scenario. No, she couldn't, she can't, Ellie- she's her little sister. The person who she loves the most, the person whom she promised that she is going to be next to her forever and ever. She promised her mom that she is always going to protect Ellie, no matter what, that its always going to be Ellie and her to the edge of the universe.    

Snapping back in the reality, Ellie's voice broke Alex out of her trance. “You think we chose that place? That we want to be a part of their shitty community that just-ruins the humanity more than it does?” Ellie spat out, her voice trembling with every word she said. “They put us there when Ellie and I were barely old enough to stand on our own. It's for orphans.” Alex continued, her voice small and quiet.  

She can remember the time when she and Ellie just got in there. The weird stares and the hushed whispers with fingers pointed in their direction. She held Ellie closer to her chest, whispering out the soft words to Ellie because she noticed how upset Ellie has gotten. Day after day, week after week, counting turned into years, the stares stopped, but the judging grew. The kids who were surrounding them made them feel like they didn't belong here, like there was no place for them. 

Marlene watched the girls, and a smile appeared on her face, making Ellie frown. “They didn't put you here.” she paused and then said again “I did.” 

Ellie watched Marlene with a shock on her face while Alex just stood there. She felt like something, or someone was telling her that, maybe, Marlene knew her parents. She knows that there was a woman who was her mom’s best friend, and she remembers that the lady had the dark skin and curls, but she couldn't remember her face. The feeling irked her, it made her want to claw out her yes and to remember the lady, to know who she was to her parents.  

“... are you my fuckin mom or something” Ellie asked, a chuckle in her voice.  

“Do I look like your mom?” Marlene asked with a small smile on her face.  

Ellie turned to Alex as if she was searching for answers and i almost made Alex laugh, but instead she just shook her head no and then Ellie turned back to Marlene “no, you're not” 

“As I told you, my name is Marlene. though you probably already know that.” she turned to face Alex, and she saw the stare Alex was giving her. Like she as trying to find the lost piece of her memory in her eyes. A shook of wave ran in Marlene's veins, and she looked back at Ellie, though she could still feel Alex's stare at her. “I'm the leader of the fireflies in the Boston QZ.” 

Ellies eyes widened at the sudden confession, so she asked. "Why would terrorists dump us with FEDRA?”  

Marlene sighed out and she leaned forward.” because its where you'd be safest, and you were safe until you decided to sneak out and-” Marlene paused and thought about the next words she’s going to say, because she knew that they were going to hurt. “Terrorists? Was Riley a terrorist?” 

The words that she said fell like bomb. The grip on the knife Ellie held was so strong, Alex thought her hand would bleed out, so she held Ellie close to her, while she could feel the tears dropping on her face. “Why won't you let us go home?” Ellie asked while the tears swelled up in her eyes as well.  

Noticing the tears of the girls, marine's heart dropped to her knees. She knew how much Riley had meant to the girls. Just like Anna has to her. Being her friend since the childhood mad it harder for her to process her death. even now, she grieved, but she hid it so well. “Because you, Ellie, gave a greater purpose than any of us could ever imagine.” 

Alex looked at Marlene so wide, she thought her fuckin eyes were going to pop out from her skull. The purpose? What purpose? Why is Ellie special to them? What are going to do with Ellie? Are they going to take her away from Alex? No. No no no no no- they- they couldn't. They shouldn't. She swears that the day they take Ellie, is the day that she will burn the whole world just to find her, just so her little sister could be with her again.  

Ellie looked at Marlene, confusion written so clearly on her face. Wanting to ask about more, Marlene interrupted her.  “So, we’re leaving tonight, and we are taking the two of you with us.” 

The knock interrupted the heavy tension in the air, the tension that was hard to swallow. “He's here.” the same woman who tested out Ellie and Alex if they ever turned, and Ellie being the menace she is, she stuck out her tongue at the woman and the woman rolled her eyes and closed the doors. “Five minutes.” Marlene said.  

When the doors shut close, Marlene spoke up, the seriousness in her voice clear than ever. “What I'm about to tell you, cannot be repeated to anyone. Because if you do-” Marlene's words were firm and short. “I assure you; you will die.” 

FEW HOURS LATER -

Looking back, Ellie wished she wasn't born. She just wished that Alex, her mom and dad had a happier life. But no, the universe had a dumb way of saying ‘hey! So, this is the life you’ll live from now on. Have fun!’ and she hated it. She hated the fact that her and Alex had to live in this world, the world that's consumed by murder, by hope. Hope. Fuck that shit. She hated that feeling. she hated when it got the best of her, only to let her down.  

Her thought interrupted the talking of a man and woman, probably Marlene fighting with some jackass. Then there was the real fighting, the wrestling and then- gunshots. She looked at Alex and her eyes were wide. Alex knew what is going to be the next thing Ellie's going to pull off, so, she shook her head no at Ellie and tried to grab her arm from walking out from the door. Ellie got her arm out before it could fall into Alex's grasp and she slowly waled to the doors, her footsteps quiet. Finally, she reached the doors, and she pressed her ear against it. Hearing the faint footsteps, she told Alex to quiet it down and he pressed herself harder against the doors. Alex, now sick of Ellie, she stepped closer and tried to get her away from the doors, but then a voice spoke up behind the doors, making her stop in her tracks. The voice was gruff and heavy, looks like it was a man’s voice and then she heard a soft-spoken voice, the woman’s voice.  

Now Alex did the same thing as Ellie, she pressed her ear against the doors, making Ellie grin widely. Opening her mouth to say something snarky, Alex's hand stopped Ellie, and she glared at her. Then the footsteps stopped. Why did they stop? Did the man and the woman found out that they are behind the doors, listening to them? What are they going to do? Are they going to hurt Ellie? The thought run around Alex's mind like a mantra, making her breath stop.  

And then Ellie decided to do something stupid. In a moment of a haze, Ellie threw herself at the doors, and got out falling against a man who was probably in his 50’s. Her eyes wide and her breath quick, Alex cursed loudly and called out for Ellie.  “Ellie! What the fuck are you doing-” and the next thing Alex saw made her stop in her tracks and takeout the gun from her waistband she hid from Marlene. A man pushed Ellie against the wall, making her drop to the floor, his gun pointed at her. A switch turned in her head and she stepped closer to the man and put her gun on his head, nudging his head with her gun. The man craned his head to look at Alex who stared at him, her eyes burning his skull.  

Then a voice interrupted her interaction with a man, her eyes snapping to the voice. Marlene and Kim-the woman whom she just met. “Joel?” her eyes snapped back to Ellie’s; her concern bigger than the awkwardness in this room. “Marlene?” the man spoke up. How do they know each other? Alex wanted to ask Marlene, but her attention was on Ellie, who was having a hard time breathing, a man's gun pointed at her. Seeing that Alex spoke carefully. “Put the gun down, or I'm gonna blow your brain out.” the man looked at Alex once more and scoffed, his gun still pointed at Ellie.  

Marlene looked at Ellie and pointed out, her voice annoyed. “Jesus, Ellie, you can’t be stupid like that.” 

Joel scoffed and then the woman behind him spoke up. Her face stitched up, probably because, well, she was injured. “So, this is who Robert screwed us over with?” her face showed a sign of annoyance, and she continued. “The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean the war must be going shitty for you to buy merch from scumbags like him.”  

Marlene sighed out and she held her now bleeding side “Yeah well it has been. The merch was bad, and he obviously didn't take ‘fuck off’ for an answer.” 

Ellie listened the conversation and her hand flied to her pocket, where her knife was hidden. The knife was safely tucked in her pocket- wait. Her knife.  where it is. Ellie patted her pockets, and her eyes met Alex's as if she was asking her for help. Alex took a deep breath, and her eyes scanned the hallway, and then- the knife. It was next to Joel's leg. Finally seeing it, Ellie reached for the knife, only to be under Joel's foot, away from Ellie's grasp. “Give me my knife” “Give her, her knife.” Ellie and Alex spoke up at the same time.  

Joel only ignored the girls, and his head turned to Marlene. “What do you need a car battery for? "Ellie did the stupid move again, making Alex's heart stop. She stuck her hand out to grab the knife, and Joel pointed his gun again at Ellie, his voice now threating. “Don't.” 

Alex just pressed her gun at Joel's head harder and she sneered at him, her voice full of venom. “Drop the fucking gun.” while Marlene pointed her gun at Joel and said, carefully, her voice filled with worry. “Not at her. Point at me.”  

Then Marlene decided to tell Alex the thing that she didn't even dare to do. “Alex, drop the gun.” Alex just scoffed and pressed the gun to his head. “Alex for the love of God, drop the weapon.” and then with a final glance at Marlene, Alex dropped the gun down, her hands dropping to her sides.  

“To answer your question, I need it for better reason than you do. No offence, but tommy’s just one man.” Marlene clutched her side.  

“how's he just one man-” Marlene interrupted Joel. “it's our business to know things.” 

“To know things?” Joel asked. “you're the cause of it.  you turned my own brother against me.” 

God damn, this guy had it all, Alex thought.  

“That was a lot of gunfire. FEDRA’s gonna be on the way.” Kim pointed out, the women who was on Marlene's side. 

“We were gonna move Ellie and Alex outta the zone tonight, but we won't make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway.” Marlene pointed out. “So, I think you're gonna do it.” Marlene pointed to Joel and Tess.  

What? Why them? No, not a way in a hell, Alex thought. She was going to take her alone in there, even if it meant that bunch of FEDRA officers are going to be on her for that.  

“We are not going with them” Alex and Elie said at the same time.  

“Let me take her.” Kim said. 

“Kim, you don't have a fuckin ear on your head, don't you dare to take her.” Marlene pointed out. 

“Tess, we don't have time for this.” Joel and Tess were ready to walk out from the hallway, their missions now dropped in water. “You don't have time?” Marlene asked the pair.  

“Who are they to you?” Tess asked Marlene. It really irked her off, the thought that they must take the girls.  

“To you, they're cargo.”  

“We don smuggle people.” Joel pointed out. 

Marlene sighed out. She wanted to bang her head against the wall until it falls off from her shoulders. “there's a team of fireflies waiting for he two of them at the old state. I know what's out there. We are going with an entire squadron for that very reason.” Marlene spoke up. Looking at Ellie and Alex, their faces twisted in confusion, she continued. “But now I don't have a truck, I don't have a squadron. FEDRA’s five minutes away. What I do have is you. And I know what you guys are capable of. For better or worse.” Marlene finished; her breath quick at the speed she spoke.  

Ellie was, at least to say, surprised to what Marlene just said. Jesus that's a lot of work. Ellie thought. “What are they capable of?” 

“You need to get her and Alex safely there. They will get you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole thing. Fueled up trucks, guns, supplies all of it. I swear.” Marlene said.  and the second Ellie head the word guns coming out from Marlene's mouth, her eyes widened in excitement. Alex just shook her head no and she mouthed out to Ellie ‘no fucking way, stay where you are, Ellie.’ and then with a swift of his leg, Joel kicked Ellie's knife away, making Ellie to curse at him. “Asshole.” 

Joel paused and then he turned his back, and he pulled Tess to the side, the two of them talking it out. The second he did, Alex rushed to Ellie's side and engulfed her in a tight hug. “What is wrong with you. I told you to stay back, you shithead.” Alex whispered out to Ellie.  

Then Tess broke out from Joel's distance and spoke up. “Okay here’s the deal. We'll get them to your crew at the statehouse. But before we hand her over.” she pointed to Ellie. “They give us everything what we want. If not, we kill ‘em there and then.” Tess finished talking.  

“Deal.” Marlene just nodded.  

What' oh hell no. Alex will kill them before anyone touches her little sister. No way in hell. Just the thought of handing Ellie to someone Alex didn't believe in made her feel like Shes trapped in a trap.  

“Really, that fast?” Ellie spoke up, her face offended.  

“you two are all that matters.  my team will not jeopardize that.” Marlene told Ellie and she looked both girls. "Remember what I told you. Now go get your backpacks.” Ellie hesitated while Alex didn't wait a second, before marching off and taking her backpack with her. “Now Ellie.” Alex voiced out to Ellie.  

Ellie got up and took her backpack from the room they were once in and then she got out, looking back at Marlene and then she knocked her shoulder against Joel's, making him slightly stumble from the impact.  

Joel, who was already walking away from Marlene heard a soft spoke voice, coming from Marlene. “Joel. Don't fuck this up.” and with that he walked out from the hallway into the streets.  

-- 

After few hours passed by, Alex and Ellie were still sitting in the chair. Suddenly the snore snapped them out from their conversation and Ellie spoke up. “You mumble in your sleep.” 

Joel just rolled his eyes, and he got up in a sitting position, facing the girl. Ellie continued with her rambling. “I've ever been on the other side of the wall. Look at how dark it is.” Ellie glanced at Joel and then at the window again. “you guys go there a lot?” 

Joel just sighed out and spoke up. “I guess.”  

Alex just stared out the window, listening to their conversation. She got out a lot. She seen the city, the last bits of the fallen Boston. She seen the infected a lot of the times. She killed them too. Not just infected, but the people too. it's not something she’s proud off. After all she was forced to do that. she can hear the screams of the people begging her not to take away their lives. 

“When was the last time?” Ellie asked, looking out the window.  

“I don't know, maybe a year. Why ask?” Joel questioned.  

“You know where to go. So, we are gonna be okay.” Ellie whispered out. Alex noticed the discomfort in Ellie’s posture, so she did something that she knew would calm Ellie down. The though f losing Ellie over something stupid, made he feel like she wasn't worth her. Ike she wasn’t worth of being Ellie's sister. “Hey, hey, it's okay, c'mon.” Alex whispered out to Ellie, her arms circling around Ellie.  

Joel noticed the sudden change between the sisters, softly called out to the girls. “Yeah. So, what's the deal with the two of you anyway? You some kind of bigwig's daughter or somethin’?” his eyes never leaving Alex's.  

“Something like that.” Alex spoke up, her voice quiet before turning her attention to the window once again. Joel raised his eyebrows in shock. So, the girl can speak. 

“The radio came on when you were sleeping.” Ellie spoke up, making Alex grin slightly, knowing what she was planning to do. And like on the sign, Joel's back stood up straight and the panic in his voice, made Alex grin even more under her palm. “What? What was the song?” Joel asked. 

“Something like-” Ellie continued, her eyes now turning to Alex's waiting for her to finish the sentence. “Wake me up before you go-go?” Alex finished out. And just on the cue, Joel sighed out and cursed under his breath, not before running the hands on his face.  

Ellie grinned and opened her mouth to say something more, Alex interrupted her. “Gotcha. 80’s means trouble. Code broken.” Alex finished out and hen looking over to Ellie, her hand raised out to high five Alex.  

Then a switch turned in Joel's had. Damn it. The girls guessed the code.  Joel who was sitting on the couch, he stood up from it and he walked over to the girls, his footsteps heavy and his voice shuddering.  “Listen-” and then the rattle of the doorknob interrupted him, Tess getting inside the room and locking it behind her. “The spot under Lancaster looks good. "Then she turned Alex and Elie and asked them. “you two got a jacket in those backpacks?” 

Alex was the first one ho nodded her head yes and answered “yeah.”  

“Okay, get it. It's time to go.” Tess pointed out to the girls.  

The girls, Alex and Ellie. Goth their jackets out from their packs and put the jackets on and their backpack on their shoulders. The sudden change in the air made Alex take a deep breath and to prepare herself for the worst-case scenario. Joel, Tess, Alex and Ellie got out from the doors; the apartment now empty.  

-- 

To say that the rain wasn't still falling, Alex could only lie to herself. Yep, she still hates the rain. While Ellie is enjoying the feeling of the droplets of the rain in the fucking tunnel they were in. Alex could handle guns, knives, blood and even maybe a pair of infected, but water on her skin? Ugh she hated that. Stuck in her own thoughts Ellie broke her out from it, and she told her, a smile on her face. “Ahh the water. You love this part, right Lexie?” and Alex just shoved Ellie's shoulder, making her stumble against the wall.  

Finally, after what it felt like a decade of walking around in the tunnel, Joel stopped and began climbing up the stairs. Wait, what? The stairs? Like the one who are stuck to the wall? Alex gulped and began slowly climbing up after Ellie her breaths rushed. After a while Joel stopped once again, and Alex swore that she never had a tight grip on something. Finally, once again, Joel lifted the cover and slowly got out, then Ellie and Alex following her and Tess being the last one. After checking if anyone got safely out, Joel placed the cover back. And then Ellie deciduate up from the floor and look around, shouting. “Holy shit, I'm actually outside!”  

Alex's eyes widened and she took Ellie by her hand and pulled her down to crouch once again, before whisper shouting “what are you doing? are you out of your mind?!” then the light flashed out in their direction, Alex pulled Ellie on the ground, her breathing uneven at how much stuff was happening right now.  

“Okay we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead. Got it?” Tess whispered out to the girls, but mostly to Ellie. Because she noticed how much she wanted to see around her. Alex and Ellie nodded, and Tess spoke up again. "Let's go.” 

The group finally moved Tess leading again and Joel checking up if anyone was following, while the girls just followed Tess, their hands brushing lightly. Alex watched the way Tess walked towards, and her mind started to wander. She remembers this way. The time when she was sent on the mission, she was only 16 years old. sent off alone in the mall. To see if the mall was empty, if there were any signs of infected. She had spent the whole night in there, checking the corners around. luck was on her side, even tho she didn’t believe in it.

The group finally moved Tess leading again and Joel checking up if anyone was following, while the girls just followed Tess, their hands brushing lightly. Alex watched the way Tess walked towards, and her mind started to wander. She remembers this way. The time when she was sent on the mission, she was only 16 years old. sent off alone in the mall. To see if the mall was empty, if there were any signs of infected. She had spent the whole night in there, checking the corners around. Luck was on her side, even though she didn’t believe in it. She remembers the time when FEDRA used to hang people just because they wanted to have a touch of a freedom once in their lives. The screams, the sounds that people made, it engraved in her brain. Ellie being curious didn't make it any better. She wanted to see what's like out there, to see why everyone is going outside the walls. Ellie and Riley wanted to see what's like out there. Alex fought with her blood, sweat and tears for Ellie not to go there; she tried the same with Riley. But Riley didn't listen. So, she left, she left and explored the walls, the malls, the areas that were restricted trespass into. And then she joined the fireflies. While Alex left the fireflies, Riley joined them.  

The shuffling of the footsteps broke her out from her trance, the voice sharp and horribly familiar. Before she could have a chance to take Ellie by her arm and to run away, a voice stopped her. “What the fuck? Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Don't move! Don't move!” Tess and Joel immediately stopped and raised their hands up, while Alex just shoved Ellie to the side. The officer just gasped and whispered out to Joel and Tess “You gotta be shitting me.” 

“Okay let's just talk this out.”  Joel said his hands shaking, trying to find a way to get the hell out from here. The officer just scoffed and pointed his riffle to the group. “Turn around.” Joel tried again, his voice still. "Wait, hold on-”  

“Get on your knees! Get on your fuckin knees!” the officer yelled out; his patience thin while the light on his riffle flashed out and revealed Tess, Joel, Ellie and Alex. And just on a cue, the officer starred at Alex and chuckled out, pointing his riffle now on Alex. “So, you're the famous Alex Williams, huh? Wanted to follow your daddy’s steps, right?” Alex’s throat bobbed and her hands shook, her mind rewinding the time when everyone from the fireflies used to make fun of her, just because her dad was in there. All the stares she got, the pitying looks, it made her feel weak, and she didn't like that. So, she closed herself up and just did the tasks she needed to do. Plus being an older sister to a newly born sister was a hard thing to do. Even when growing up, Alex used to tell her all the memories she had from her parents. Ellie loved that and even if she never met their parents, Ellie learned to love them. 

 The officer saw how uncomfortable Alex looked so, he just continued “guess that didn't work out, huh? Man, I wish my dad was now next to me-” Joel stopped the officer, yelling out and noticing the way Alex's tears started to swell up in her eyes, her breath shaking and her lips trembling, like she was in some kind of trance. “Hey! Focus on me. Not her alright?” 

The officer just smirked and spoke up, his voice filled with nothing, but venom. “Why, so she could escape? Yeah man. Keep fuckin dreaming. Now get on your damn knees!” 

Tess sighed out and she got on her knees, her back facing the officer now, and Alex, Ellie and Joel got down and did the same thing as Tess. “Just get on your knees. Just get on your knees, c'mon.” Tess told them.  

The officer now dropped his rifle and walked over the group, while Tess spoke up. “Listen, you let us do this run... we'll split the cards with you.” the officer just scoffed and spoke. “Oh, will you?” Tess nodded her head “yeah!” 

Sitting on their knees, Alex and Ellie looked at each other as the officer took out the device, their eyes wide and Ellie’s eyes starting to sting. That was it. The officer is going to kill her for even finding out. Alex is going to be alone, and she is going to grieve Ellie to the rest of her life. Alex took out the knife from Ellie's pocket and hid it in her sleeve, ready for the attack.  

“Oh, I'm so blessed. Hands on your head, eyes forward. Hands on your head!” the officer just yelled out.   

The group interlocked their fingers and put them behind their heads, ready for the scanning. Ellie looked at Alex and whispered out to Alex. “I'm scared.” and when Alex looked at her, she could feel thousands of emotions flooding through her eyes. So, she just whispered out to Ellie, her voice filled with worry. “It's okay, we’re okay.” and Ellie just nodded her head.  

Tess saw the device and she grumbled, her voice annoyed. “Really man?” 

The officer just nods his head. “Yep. we're doing this by the book.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Tess grumbled. 

The officer put the device on Tess's head, and it beeped, showing the green screen, meaning she is not infected. Then next was Joel and the officer did the same thing with Tess. The device beeped and it showed the green screen, making Joel sigh out.  

“Unauthorized exit. They'll hang you for that.” the officer said.  

Joel rolled his eyes and spoke up, craning his head to look at the officer. “Fine! Everything off this run and half of the pills!” 

The officer just scoffed and spoke up. “Half of? No, all off!” 

Next up was Alex, and the officer stood behind her, grabbing her by her hair, making her wince out and he scanned her neck. “Risk my job for half of the fuck-” the officer stopped and spoke up the grip on Alex's hair tighter now. “Oh, I'm so going to get rich for this girl right here. Isn't that right Alex?” 

 The officer took the device out from Alex's neck, and he looked at it, then the screen got orange, making the officer furrow his eyebrows and ask Alex, his voice curious. “What the hell is this supposed to mean?” and Alex just shrugged, her smirk wide and dangerous. “Don't now.  why scared I might kill you?” and the officer ignored her stepping closer to Ellie and scanning her neck. The next thing Alex pulled happened in a blur. She got the knife out from her sleeve and jabbed it into officer shoulder making him grunt and yell out, while she just pounced on him, moving Ellie out of the way. 

“Fucking bitch! I'm gonna fucking kill you-” the officer got up from the floor pointing his gun at Alex, her stance still, only for officer to laugh in a mocking manner and he spoke up. “Oh! Look at that! Joel Miller being the protective daddy that he is.” then the officer said again, his voice full of hatred and will to kill Alex. “Get out of the way!” 

Joel stood in front of the officer, his hands raised in front of him, trying to stop the things from going south. “Wait! We can fix this!” his hands hook and his mind wandering off on the memory he didn't want to remember.  

The officer just stared at Joel, and he yelled out. “Move! Move you fucker! MOVE-!” and then Joel pounced on the man, and hitting him with his fists clenched up, bruising the man’s face, and Joel’s knuckles filled with the officer's blood. He continued to punch the officer until he was unconscious. Then he turned around and saw Ellie and Alex, looking at him in shock and then the man who was probably dead.  

Tess however saw the device and looked at it, screaming out to Joel. “Joel! JOEL LOOK AT THIS” and Ellie noticed that and raised her sleeve, revealing the wound to Tess, trying to convince her otherwise. “No! No, no. Look! I'm not sick!”  

Alex saw the encounter between Tess and Ellie, and she stepped in, her voice shaking.  “No- Tess, she's not- she isn't infected-” Ellie just yelled out, her hands shaking. “I'm not sick! Look! This is three weeks old! Nobody lasts than a day! Does this look like a day old to you?” 

“i should fucking kill you! When did it happen?” Tess asked, sneering at Ellie. Alex heard what Tess had said and stood in front of Ellie, and she got into Tess's face, her voice threating. “You do that, and I'll make sure you have the slowest and the most painfull death ever-” 

Elie shrugged Alex's arm of her and spoke up again. “It doesn't matter! You have to trust me! They're gonna catch us if we don't run!” 

Joel looked at Tess, Alex and Ellie and he spoke up. “The pipsqueak is right. We have to move.” he looked at Tess and he spoke up, picking up the riffle officer had and flung it over his shoulder. “We gotta move Tess. C’mon.” he looked at the officer, who was on the ground, now definitely dead from Joel's powerful punches on his face.  

He turned around and followed the girls and Tess, going through the fence, the sharp edges scraping his skin, burning him. 

While they walked, Alex wondered how will everything turn out after Ellie saves the world?  What will happen to her? Will there be any consequences? Will Joel and Tess be there when the situations get ugly, while they travel all the way to the fireflies. The ones that Alex gave up from long ago, before becoming her own person and doing everything on her own. Only the universe will know. 

Until then, she will make sure that nothing happens to Ellie. Ever. Or that's what she thought. 

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

How to train your pet Human pt.2 (Yandere!Alien X GN!Reader)

part 1, part 3

CW: Abduction, imprisonment, yandere themes, death, pet/owner relationship, tickle torture, humiliation, sexual themes, angst

"There they are~" Kirtch bent to pick (Reader) up, lifting them easily like a child and carrying them with one hand under their butt. (Reader's) face scrunched up in embarrassment. They were wearing an ugly shirt, both baggy and synched tightly, flowy around the body but locked in place like a neck corset at the top and wrists. When Kirtch first presented the tacky gift, (Reader) had ran to hide, forcing Kirtch to wrestle the outfit onto them.

With all of the unnecessary buttons and ties, (Reader) was incapable of taking it off themselves, and was now sulking.

"I have a lot of duties today that cannot be completed in my office, so I thought you might enjoy coming with me so you don't have to be couped up alone." Kirtch gently knocked his forehead into (Reader's).

'Escape chance, escape chance, escape chance-' "Yeah, that sounds nice." (Reader) tried to contain their excitement, consciously aware of their heart beating loudly in their chest.

"Wonderful! I've packed a couple of toys to keep you occupied if you get bored, as well as snacks." He replied happily, seeming so pleased with himself as he briskly walked down the hall from his bedroom towards the main hall. The two passed by many other aliens walking up and down the corridors, none of whom seemed to be the same species as Kirtch. Everyone wore the same cloak, standing them out from the creatures in the shopping district, a uniform slightly lighter in color than Kirtch's. Most would pause while walking to rub a hand over where their noses should have been, and Kirtch would raise a hand in response.

"What are they doing?" (Reader) whispered.

"It is a sign of respect. I am their superior, so if they are not in a rush to get somewhere they are greeting me."

Fear tickled (Reader's) spine. "Are you guys in the military?"

Kirtch laughed, a high pitch clicking sound that almost sounded like a broken music box. "No. I'm just an upper level leader in our trading company."

They arrived in front of a decorated wall, and Kirtch squeezed (Reader) a little while smiling. "Now this is a very important meeting, I need you to be as quiet as possible, okay?"

(Reader) huffed. "I'm not a child."

"I know you aren't. You're a very sweet pet, who is most definitely a grown adult human."

They felt humiliated. It had been almost a month since they were bought by Kirtch, and they did everything in their power to not anger him or appear as though they needed "release". (Reader) constantly watched and waited for the perfect escape attempt, while fighting off Kirtch's affections in as non threatening a way as possible. Like they were emulating a cat. (Reader's) skin burned, but they held back their tongue.

The wall opened, revealing a board room (at least that's what (Reader) assumed it was), a bare room only decorated with a long table surrounded by stools. Kirtch sat (Reader) on the floor and pulled out a sack from the inside of his cloak. While they didn't want to immediately act the part of a good pet, (Reader) was curious as to what was in the bag. The first thing they pulled out, however, was a taxidermied cat. (Reader's) eyes widened, and they couldn't contain their anxiety, shaking as they stared into the cat's glass eyes. Was this some kind of threat?

"Do you like it? I've been meaning to buy you more human toys, so I thought you would appreciate a stuffed animal." Realizing that the 'gift' was not malicious, the nervousness immediately dissolved into mental fatigue.

"Oh. I get it. Stuffed animal. Yeah." They put the animal back in the bag, hoping Kirtch didn't think their exhausted smile was permission to buy more dead bodies.

More aliens entered the room, greeting Kirtch before taking their seats. (Reader) couldn't understand what the meeting was about, since they were all speaking in Kirtch's native tongue, but their voices and faces were tense. The meeting went on for well over an hour, but (Reader) found it surprisingly entertaining, dubbing over their conversation inside their mind like Mystery Science Theater, chuckling with how wild their hand movements were. It was very human of them.

(Reader) fucked up, accidently snorting at one of the angrier aliens. Although they didn't understand the language, one of his sentences sounded awfully like "Pineapple farts", and with how intense his face was, it made it seem like he was describing how his ass felt. Their sound was so quiet it was almost inaudible, but the alien still noticed and spun his head in (Reader's) direction so quickly his exoskeleton creaked. (Reader) bit their lip to hide a smile, turning away from the conference to pretend to munch on their fruit (?) slices.

The irate alien began ranting louder, and (Reader) caught a word they had heard from a few of the underlings they had been introduced to. Bah-blk. Human.

Shit.

They snuck a glance towards the group very slowly to view Kirtch's expression, worried they may have angered him by interrupting the meeting. And indeed, his almost perfectly flat face was pulled into a scowl, but it wasn't aimed at (Reader).

"(Reader), pet, could you come here for a moment?"

His voice was light and smooth, as it always was when speaking to (Reader), but Kirtch's face was grave as he refused to break eye contact with the alien in front of him; said alien's shell glistened like he was sweating under Kirtch's glare. (Reader), not wanting to be punished later, left their spot on the floor and shuffled over to their owner. Kirtch pulled (Reader) into his lap the second they were within his reach, still staring daggers at the poor alien across the table.

He spoke to the offender, holding (Reader) lovingly with one arm as if to make a point. The man was panicked, waving his arms and sweating profusely, sounding apologetic. It wasn't enough, whatever it was he was saying. He referenced (Reader) as Bah-blk again, and then he was dead.

Before (Reader) could understand what it was that Kirtch had pulled out of his robe, a soundless shot was fired across the table, green blood splattering across the wall as the alien's head was pierced by some kind of projectile.

Everyone turned away, unsurprised by the killing. It was a lukewarm reaction, as though this wasn't the first time they witnessed someone die at Kirtch's hand. The body fell, head slamming into the table with a wet thud.

(Reader) didn't know what he had said, but to kill him... It was jarring. The young adult hadn't payed any attention to the tears dripping down their chin until Kirtch wiped them off. The roughness of his hand startled (Reader), making them flinch away from his touch.

For the rest of the meeting (Reader) couldn't pry their eyes away from the dead body lying across from them. It was a nightmare seemingly without an end, staring at a corpse while his murderer held (Reader) tenderly, rubbing his thumb on their side absentmindedly while discussing business with colleagues like it was a regular Tuesday.

If (Reader) was more aware, they would be disgusted with themselves for not fighting Kirtch as he picked them up to go back to their room, but they just wanted to go back to the safety of their *bed*, and couldn't force their brain to focus on anything else.

The bed was more like a twin sized pillow nestled in a metal cage, but it was soft and felt secure, like when (Reader) was young and thought that hiding under their blanket would protect them from the shadow people in their closet.

"Are you alright, (Reader)?" Kirtch asked, his voice full of concern.

(Reader) curled up, pulling the blanket tight over their face.

Kirtch sighed, and crouched down by (Reader's) bed. "(Reader), please don't be upset with me. If this is about my colleague, please know that what I did was necessary."

"Murder is never necessary."

"He tried to accuse me of not being.. as invested in the job as I should be. And that the reason for my lack of dedication was you. He used very strong language." Kirtch placed a hand on (Reader's) back. "I told him not to disrespect you. Yet he continued."

(Reader) began crying, shaking under Kirtch's touch. "Are you saying that I'm the reason he's dead?"

"Oh, pet.." Kirtch sighed again, pulling (Reader) out of the fetal position and into his arms. "I've always been incredibly interested in humanity. When I was a young child, there was a 'book' in my father's study about primitive species, and that's how I learned about humans. Did you know that you and I experience life differently from one another? Our brains function differently. We have different pain receptors; our brains' physiology are almost nothing alike; the diseases humans are capable of developing simply for existing are concepts we've never had to worry about. Even how we perceive the color spectrum, humans are so unlike any other sentient species I have met."

"I was so fascinated by Earth, especially by humans. We are not allowed to visit Earth as it is a restricted area, so much of what we know is recorded knowledge from captured defectors. My chances of meeting a human were next to none. Then, we had to dock in Dol-Hu, a shady planet only inhabited by criminals and those in hiding. And wandering through the market, I saw you."

"The one thing I've always wanted, for the past seventy years, I recognized you as a human immediately, even though you were so much cuter than I could have expected. You're so soft, and fragile, in comparison to my armoured flesh. You were bent over, but I knew from descriptions I had memorized what you were. As one who has always loved Earth, I am fluent in every Earth language we know of, so I was excited to communicate with you. I was so eager to have a piece of humanity. And now here you are."

(Reader) rolled over, their heart clenching painfully as they looked up into Kirtch's sadly smiling face. "I wonder what I look like through your eyes."

Their heart began doing somersaults in their throat as the tears continued flowing.

"You may have been the only human I've ever known, but I can say with confidence that you must have been the best humanity had to offer. I only want to give you the best life possible."

(Reader) wrapped their arms around Kirtch's midsection, sobbing loudly. His body didn't bend or squish under the full strength of (Reader's) embrace. And that was how (Reader) fell asleep, crying themselves into a nap.

When they awoke, they were alone, lying in the bed with the cat tucked into their arms. (Reader) left the room to find Kirtch at his desk, working on paperwork. The giant heard (Reader) behind him, and turned his attention on them, smiling as he held out his arms in an offer to pick them up. And much to his surprise, (Reader) willingly entered into his embrace, and allowed him to set them on his lap without pouting or making a fuss.

"I have a few more documents to look over, then I can play with you, okay?"

"Okay." Their voice was quiet and monotone, (Reader's) mind still fuzzy from crying so much before falling asleep.

"Are you still upset? Is there anything I can do to make you happy?"Kirtch laid down his work, trapping (Reader) in his arms.

"No.. you can continue working."

"You're more important than my work. I consider your unhappiness to be a crises."

Worry began to prick at (Reader's) skin. "I'm really fine, we don't need to play!"

"Need?"

Memories of the day (Reader) was bought flashed through their mind, causing them to go red and hot as they started to squirm in Kirtch's embrace. "I-I- didn't mean it like that!"

One hand left (Reader's) body to grab something from Kirtch's desk. "Don't fret, I recently purchased a new toy I thought would bring you joy."

(Reader's) eyes bulged out as they froze in anticipation, their heart hammering in their chest. But what Kirtch retrieved did not appear safe to go near any genitalia, a strange contraption formed of multiple thin prongs on a handle. Embarrassed that they had assumed something sexual was about to happen, (Reader) bit the inside of their cheek, puzzling over the strange discomfort they were feeling. "What's that?"

Kirtch raised (Reader's) shirt, and dragged the device across their skin, causing an involuntary shudder. It tickled.

"Ah! No!" (Reader) accidentally laughed, trying to push Kirtch away. He trailed the toy from their pelvic area visible above their pants to their left armpit. The light tingling sensation forcibly clenched their stomach muscles as they let loose a howl of laughter.

They couldn't breathe correctly, laughing so hard that their spasming abdominals made it feel like they were choking. But they couldn't stop, begging Kirtch to "knock it off" while their cheeks hurt from the smile they had. That damn toy tickled every inch of their body, not even noticing when Kirtch removed their pants. They kicked futilely, unable to break free from the assault. Their sensitive skin was almost becoming painful to the touch, but the laughter only got louder.

"pleASE! KIRTCH, stop!!" (Reader) heaved. Their whole body felt tender, highly reactive to each touch. Which made them aware of the fact that the only thing separating them from Kirtch's lap was a thin pair of underpants. With how they had been writhing on his lap, they were relieved that Kirtch didn't seem to have a dick that could become aroused from such movements.

(Reader's) smile fell. I have no idea how Kirtch's species reproduces. Maybe he can get erections, but he won't get one for me because he sees me as a pet. An animal. Their heart turned to concrete as it dropped out of its cage.

Kirtch halted his attack when he saw (Reader) go limp. "Are you tuckered out, pet?"

(Reader) tried to slide off his lap like jelly. "I'm done playing. I want to go back to bed."

"Alright, my stubborn little grump, what is it now? You were all smiles but a second ago, so what is it plaguing your mind?"

They tried to scrunch up their nose to prevent more tears from sheepishly forming. "I'm not a pet. I'm a human. I want to be treated like an equal!"

Kirtch's smile was replaced by a hurt scowl. "Is it so unpleasant being my pet?"

"No!" (Reader) interjected, not understanding why it pained them so much to see Kirtch upset, "I just want to, I just.. I don't know. This is confusing, and it feels.. weird. You're really nice to me, and sometimes it feels like... but then other times you treat me like I'm a cat. This isn't what I want. Either be a bastard and treat me like an animal or treat me like-" Their words caught in their throat. Treat me like what?!

A fearful kiss was placed on their forehead, ghostly with hardly any pressure. Kirtch's hands trembled on (Reader's) sides. "All I wish is to adore you for the rest of your life."

He pulled (Reader) into his chest, petting their back in a comforting manner. "I'll give you anything you ask for, I'll do anything you ask of me. Just to keep you happy, with me. You are all that I've ever wanted. All I wish is to care for you, and spend all my attention on you. If there is anything you want, please ask me. I need you to love me."

(Reader) felt so confused. Like a squid was destroying their gut, everything was uncomfortable and scary. They knew that Kirtch viewed them as a pet, he loved them how (Reader) loved their family dog as a child. But when they heard him begging for their love, it made them wish for an odd moment that he wasn't an alien. That (Reader) was sitting on their boyfriend's lap right now, a strange human man who sometimes infantalized them but only out of affection. Why couldn't this be simple? Why did (Reader) want him to kiss them right at that moment?

"I want to go home. I want to meet someone kind and fall in love." (Reader's) words stabbed Kirtch in places he never knew could hurt.

"I can't do that, (Reader)..." Kirtch's embrace constricted almost painfully tight. "You're all I've ever wanted. You can't ask me to let you go. I'll take such good care of you, you'll see. I have the rest of your life to make you fall in love with me."

They sat there, holding one another in agonizing silence, both loving each other in a way that they couldn't explain. The way their brains functioned didn't just mean that Kirtch could see a wider range of colors than (Reader), but the way their species experienced love was too vastly different for the other to comprehend. Despite Kirtch wanting to own (Reader), that was the greatest love he had ever felt, since his species did not pair bond and only mated when two beings agreed amicably that they wished to procreate. He knew that humans felt many forms of love, love for a mate, love for their offspring, love for a friend.. but to something that never felt any of those forms of love, Kirtch couldn't understand the difference between them.

"I love you, my little pet. And I will always love you."

[karikarasuno]

part ten | part eleven | part twelve

the library is hosting career week this week, so cora invited law to speak with some of the kids. law agreed even though he's not really good with kids. they kinda scare him. they're unfiltered and often times loud and law has a difficult time understanding them when they talk too quickly.

law has never even held a baby besides his little sister. and that was a very long time ago. but he agrees to it anyway. especially because cora is sneaky, conniving, and manipulative. he purposely asked when you were around. that cunning son of a bitch.

"so, law, i have a favor to ask," cora says as the three of you lounge in law's patio late one evening. you're playing some game on your phone beside him while cora stretches out in a lounge chair.

"no," law says without hesitation.

"that's not very nice. you don't even know what it is," cora pouts, but not really. he's a faker. and definitely up to something when his eyes quickly flick over to you.

"babe, just hear the poor man out," you say, eyes still locked on your phone screen. you always pity cora for some reason. you have a soft spot for him that law doesn't really understand. he should appreciate that you two get along so well. except for when it doesn't work in his favor. which is often, much to law's frustration.

"yeah, listen to her, she knows what she's talking about," cora nods slyly. law could strangle him.

"fine," he begrudgingly agrees. "what do you want?"

cora smiles, close-lipped and smug. like law has already agreed to whatever favor this is.

"so i was wondering," cora starts slowly, carefully picking out his words, "if you could stop by the library for career week and speak to the kids about what its like being a doctor."

law groans. cora is aware of law's discomfort around children. cora thinks it's funny. law doesn't understand the joke.

"no," he reiterates with a tone of finality. but his no doesn't last long. not when you gasp beside him and set down your phone to look over at him.

"why not?" you complain. "that would be so cute!"

"i don't think i'd ever describe it as 'cute'," law huffs in his seat, refusing to look at you because he already knows the face you're making. one that he has a really hard time saying no to.

"aw, come on!" you place both of your hands on his forearm and lightly shake him. he glares at cora. "just think about it. all those little kids sitting around listening to you talk about how cool it is to be a doctor. it'll be fun."

"again," he reinforces, "not exactly a word i'd use to describe this particular situation."

he feels you scoot closer to him and you prop your chin on his shoulder. his resolve is in shambles right now. he cannot stand his brother. "if it makes you feel any better i'll go with you."

"why would that make me feel better?" he grumbles, glancing down at you from the corner of his eye.

"because i'll be there for moral support. just say yes, i promise it won't be that bad."

"i don't know." this is a yes disguised as a no with an air of indecisiveness. law is losing. and he's annoyed by it.

"don't be such a grouch." you lightly slap his chest before turning your focus to cora. "we're going."

the look on cora's face is triumphant. he didn't even have to work for it. law makes a silent vow that next time they're alone, he's going to punch his brother.

and that's how he ends up at the library at 10am on a saturday. the last day of career week and therefore the fucking busiest as families crowd every corner. it's also hot outside. law's sweating and he wants to blame the sun, but he knows what it really is. anxiety.

"thanks for coming!" cora's voice rings out in the busy entrance. his arms open wide as he greets you two. he's wearing the glasses chain you bought him for his birthday, and law doesn't miss the flash of excitement on your face.

"well thank you for the invite," you say, offering cora a quick hug before reaching back to grab law's hand. you don't recoil when you feel how sweaty it is which he appreciates. you just drag a soothing thumb over the back of his hand and pretend as if you cannot feel the wave of nerves that's surely emitting from law. he feels radioactive. especially after he takes one singular step further into the library and a child that barely reaches his knees runs straight into him.

"ope, careful there," you say with a light laugh, reaching down to help the young boy from the floor. he giggles and you smile and then his mom comes to collect him. but law doesn't miss the look on your face. it could be longing or appreciation or something else entirely. something he's never felt before.

"we're in a place where you have to look down," you whisper to him. "tiny people walk amongst us."

you wink. he rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. however small it may be.

it doesn't go as horribly as law thinks it will. the children are actually well-behaved as they sit criss cross applesauce in front of him. he's managed to squeeze himself into a chair that's far too small for him. he doesn't know how cora lives like this. and when he's done talking about his job the children ask questions.

"is it icky cutting people open?" the boy is no more than 6 and he's missing his two front teeth.

"sometimes, yeah, but you get used to it."

"is there a lot of blood?" a young girl with a head of chunky curls asks.

"well, yes," law answers, confused because it's an obvious one.

"blegh." she sticks her tongue out with disgust. "what happens if you're a vampire? can you still be a doctor?"

law looks around for you. you're sitting in the back beside a mother and her baby. positively amused. he doesn't know if he should burst the young girl's bubble and tell her that vampires aren't real. but what if that's like telling her santa isn't real? the last thing he needs is a crying child. but he can't fight the urge to be honest. so he goes with "in books and movies, sure they can. in real life i think that would be a health violation."

you snicker behind your hand when he glances at you. and his chest fills with fondness. so maybe he answered the question correctly. the young girl seems satisfied enough.

and when it's over he almost misses all the innocent curiosity. but he can't ignore the relief he feels when he sees all the kids file out of the room and onto the next fun activity cora has planned for them. you're speaking with the mom who was sitting behind you when it ends. and instead of disrupting your conversation he decides to go to the bathroom while he has a free chance.

but law doesn't expect to see you, alone in the center of the entryway holding a baby and a diaper bag, when he exits the bathroom. you're cooing at her. fussing over the bow in her hair. bouncing her slightly in your arms until she giggles.

law also doesn't expect something akin to yearning that fills his chest. that makes his heart race. that unlocks something strange and unfamiliar in his mind. he can't approach you just yet. instead he stands out of your view and watches you. the baby plays with the pendant on your necklace. and you whisper something to her that law knows she doesn't understand. but you say it anyway. and you smile all the same.

well, law can't stand the sight. and he realizes that it's because it's a temporary one.

“where’d you get that?” he asks when he finally approaches you. the baby decides she's tired and rests her head on your shoulder. it's cute. and also weird how natural it looks. law's uncomfortable.

“are you referring to the baby?” you laugh incredulously. it shakes the baby but she doesn't seem to mind.

"yes," he says slowly accompanied with a single nod.

"her mom had to go sign some paperwork for her son. she's somewhere around here with cora and i offered to watch her until she was done," you answer easily. like it's a normal occurrence for you to be holding stranger's babies.

"and she trusted you?"

"i'm not gonna kidnap her!" you say with another laugh. "even though, she is cute enough to steal."

the baby reaches for law. her hands are tiny and chubby and she's trying to grasp his necklace. she seems to be fascinated by them.

"aw, she likes you," you gush but feeling his tension you angle her away from him. he's grateful for it. but he doesn't stop staring at you. he can't. since when are you so good with babies? this one hasn't even cried and she just met you.

"ah, thank you so much!" her mom returns, scooping her child from your arms and offering you a relieved smile.

"it was no problem. she was an angel," you grin, leaning over to tickle the baby until she giggles. "we're kinda besties now."

and the whole way home, law thinks about you. the baby. you and the baby.

you with his baby.

that's his last thought before he pulls into the driveway.

"i was thinking pasta for dinner," you say flippantly as you get out of the car. he can't answer because he's distracted.

"maybe pesto?" you ask as you unlock the front door to your house. you two spend most of your time here because of chopper. but he doesn't mind because he likes the smell. and being surrounded by you.

what would you look like pregnant?

he stops abruptly behind you and you don't even notice. you just flit around your home like everything is normal. and for you it is. but law is somehow dying inside? or maybe this is the most alive he's ever felt...

"you alright, weirdo?" you finally notice how he's just standing there as you set your purse down on the dining room table. and he looks at you, glances down at your belly, eyes your hips, and suddenly his thoughts are vulgar and wholly unnecessary.

"do you want kids?" he blurts out, hands balling into fists before his fingers flex.

"what?" you say stunned, pausing your approach towards him. you blink up at him as if you're stuck in a glitch. and your lips are stuck somewhere between a smile and grimace.

"today," he starts, taking a measured step towards you, "when you were holding that baby you looked happy."

"i like babies," you titter.

"do you want one?" he asks again, but closer to you this time.

"i'd prefer a ring first," you reply shrewdly. "but i'm not opposed to practice."

"i wasn't coming onto you," he shakes his head amused, backing you up against the table.

"just in," you whisper, delighted with yourself. "at least you were thinking about it."

"and what gave me away?" his hips press into you, his hands finding your waist and bunching up the fabric of your shirt.

"well for one," you glance down, "you're hard."

"and two?" he slips his hands under your shirt, splaying his fingers across your stomach.

"you're asking me about babies." you hop onto the table, lifting your skirt to rest above your knees and spreading your legs. "and we've never talked about babies before."

"maybe not," he says, leaning over to bury his face in your neck. "i've never really thought about them. about having kids."

your hand cards through his hair as he breathes in the scent that's sunken into your skin. and for as turned on as he his, he can't stop his muscles from relaxing into you. he bears most of his weight down onto you. and he knows he's heavy. but you seem to hold him up regardless.

"and what's different now?" you're breathless. he hasn't even begun touching you the way he wants.

"you, obviously," he taunts, kissing your collarbone and you tug his hair at his tone. he nips at your neck in retaliation.

"no, i wanna know what you're thinking." you pull his face out from where he was so comfy against your shoulder.

"tell me." your hand covers his where it rests on your stomach. your lips ghosts his when you whisper, "please."

he kisses you, but not because he has a choice. but because your pull is too strong. he'd do anything you asked. it would be an issue if this was one sided, but law knows how infrequently you say no to him.

"i want to have kids, but only with you," he says between kisses. "want to get you pregnant. want to see you holding our baby."

you gasp and your head falls back. "do you want that too?"

"jeez, law," you whine, "you can't just spring this on me. not like this."

he's referring to the hand that's traveling up your thigh. to the hand that's gripping your skirt and shoving it over your hips.

"i think this is the perfect time to discuss children," he smiles against your lips, wiggling your underwear down your thighs until it drops to your ankles.

"fine," you admit, "your babies. i'll have yours, but i expect a good push present."

he chortles despite himself. laughs as he unbuttons his jeans. "whatever you want. its yours."

he kisses you harder as he frees himself and lines up with your entrance.

"wait, you're not gonna-" you break the kiss to stare down between your legs. there's not much to see since your skirt is covering up the real view.

"no, we're practicing." he pushes you onto your back, bringing your hips to the edge of the table. and without a second thought. without an ounce of regret. he sinks into you for the first time without anything separating you.

god, he's not gonna last. you pulse around him and you're so wet. so warm. he nearly chokes. a dam has been broken. thoughts flood his mind. he needs to fill you. he needs to cum inside you. to see you round with his baby. to see you coo and giggle and fuss over his baby.

perfect. you're perfect. he can't imagine life without you. and as his thrusts quicken-- as his strokes deepen-- a future he's never considered but now consumes him flashes through his mind. you. a wedding. a pregnancy test. building a crib. watching as you babble over tiny clothes.

you. here. with him. moaning as you fist his shirt and grind down on him. begging for more. locking your ankles around the small of his back.

"wanna feel you." you smear the words slurred and moist across his cheek. "want you to cum inside me."

his grip tightens on your hips. you don't wince, even though he knows it's gonna bruise in the morning.

"yeah?" he replies, not thinking properly. just needing to give you exactly what you want.

"yes, yes, please," you nod. you're whinier than you've ever been. desperate. clawing at his clothes.

"oh-k," he stutters when you clench around him. "i can do that for you."

the air gets knocked out of him. or maybe it gets stuck in his chest. maybe he's suffocating on it. as he comes inside of you hard and hurried and hopelessly.

he doesn't know how long it takes for him to calm down. to feel his toes again. to get rid of the tingles that ripple down his body and then back up again.

all he knows is that you're fluttering around him and squirming beneath him. releasing short, yet satisfied noises directly into his ear.

"every time i think i know you," you simper, still catching your breath, "you go and surprise me."

he's confused. law didn't really think of himself as unpredictable. "how?"

"i mean, underneath all that seriousness and bravado, who would've thought you'd be into this?" you slip your hand down between your thighs. you lift your skirt. showing him the mess he's making. he's leaking out of you. and he's still inside of you. he's almost impressed.

"i should start tracking my cycle, though." you gather some of his cum on your fingers. "wouldn't want any accidents."

and then you lick them clean. law has no idea what he's gonna do with you.

part thirteen

[tradgedyinwaves]

First Choice - Part 4

Part Four of this Poly141! x fat!reader tw: social anxiety, self-doubt, drinking, more touchy-touchy, reader thinks about sexual acts

In celebration of 200 followers, this part has way more than 650 words. More like 1600. :)

Conversation flowed easily with them despite their sole focus being on you. At some point, Kyle’s hand had drifted onto your thigh, fingers pressing into the flesh gently. John’s arm had slipped from the back of the booth and now rested around your shoulders. You couldn’t be sure, but it seemed Johnny couldn’t keep his feet still and kept tapping yours under the table. The only one who couldn’t seem to relax was Ghost, sitting almost across from you. 

His eyes never left you and he mainly seemed to communicate in grunts. At least, he was drinking this time, his glass now empty of his own whiskey. You were careful not to drink too much, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of these beautiful men. But it didn’t keep you from relaxing and feeling the warmth of the two next to you. 

Pulling out your phone, you checked the time and groaned. “I really should be going. It’s been great,” you announce, looking to Kyle to move so you could slide out from the booth. “Aw come on. We’re having so much fun. Just a wee longer?” Johnny asks and you turn to him, finding yourself giving in almost immediately. Damn the puppy dog eyes. 

“Only a bit longer,” you concede and relax back into the seat. This time when Kyle’s hand lands on your thigh, it’s higher and the heat is searing through your jeans. You let out a soft sound, biting your lip as his hand starts slowly caressing your thigh up and down. He’s not even looking at you when you look up, already deep in conversation with Johnny about some sports game you had no clue about. 

John’s arm settled back over your shoulders, pulling you slightly closer so his hand hovers over your breast and you can feel the hair of his arm on your bare collarbone. Your breasts jiggle slightly with your laugh when Johnny makes a joke and you don’t miss the way his pupils dilate ever so slightly before darting back up to your face. He, at least, has the decency to blush, the faint pink color tinging his cheeks. 

When the crowd in the bar starts to thin out and you realize even your friends have left for the night, you’re yawning in your seat and now leaned completely against John with his thick arm draped over your shoulders. Kyle’s hand is now tucked between your thick thighs, the side pressed as tightly to your core as he can get it and you hope to whatever higher powers that be that he couldn’t feel the radiating heat or the damp spot that had soaked into your panties. 

“Okay, okay. I really do need to go now. My friends aren’t even here anymore and that’s saying something,” you chirp, suddenly very awake and aware that you’re in an almost empty bar with four men you’d only met that night. They all look at you like they’d rather eat sawdust than let you go and you feel a warmth creep over you. 

“Ahw, bonnie, we couldn’t let you go home on your own. Let us take you home,” Johnny chimes in, soft smile and kind eyes that hold a hint of something else in them. You swallow, looking between each of them. Your gaze lingers on Ghost for a while, noticing the man’s eyes had almost never left you.

“Yeah, alright. Let’s go. It’s not a far walk,” you reply, biting your lip at the reckless decision. These men could be serial killers and you were just inviting them to know exactly where you live. “Why don’t you let Johnny and Ghost take you home? Kyle and I can follow in our truck so they’re not stuck walking back here,” John offers, a warm smile curling up the thick mustache. 

At this point, you’re ready for bed and just want to get home. “Sounds good to me,” you reply though the words are manipulated by a yawn. All of you shuffle out of the round booth, both Kyle and John kissing the top of your head like they’d known you for years before disappearing out the door. You wrap your jacket around you again, pulling the zipper together over your belly and getting a little frustrated when it gets caught up on your shirt. 

“Lemme,” Ghost grumbled, stepping up to you and taking hold of the jammed zipper. It’s the first time he’s spoken all night and it almost stuns you how deep and growly it is. Your breath hitches as he grabs the zipper, yanking on it and subsequently making your breasts bounce as he accidentally pushes against them. He gets it undone and you mutter a bashful ‘thanks’ before turning on your heel as you finish zipping it up to your throat.

You know they’re meant to be escorting you home, but you’re out the door so fast the two men have to jog to catch up. Johnny’s arm wraps around your waist, fingers pressing into the pudge of your stomach in a way that makes you want to shrivel up. You don’t like anyone touching your stomach, but you’re warring with yourself on whether or not to move his hand, to show that kind of discomfort in front of these men. 

You choose to do so anyway, wrapping your fingers around his and lifting his arm up over your head and ducking under it, dropping it at his side. Johnny looks down at you with a furrowed brow. “Don’ like it when people touch you, do you?” he asks as he shoves his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t look bothered that you’d removed his arm, but your anxiety rears its ugly head and makes you worried you’d offended him. 

“It’s not that I don’t like being touched. It-It’s…complicated. I-I don’t want to talk about it,” you manage to stammer out before picking up your speed. It’s not like you’re going to shake off your two guard dogs whose legs are easily longer than yours by several inches, but you take off anyways. 

When your building finally comes into view, you slow your pace and breathe a soft sigh of relief. Your bed was so close, just a few more yards and you could get rid of the guard dogs and curl up in bed. “Well, this is me. Thanks for bringing me home. I really appreciate it.” You were grateful that they’d walked you home. It wasn’t safe this time of night to be wandering around in this part of town. 

“We’re walking you to your door, bonnie. Wouldn’t want someone to snatch you up between here and there,” Johnny stated, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the scent of him, warm and tingly to the nose like oranges and nutmeg, but you shook your head and backed up to the door of your building. “There’s really no need. My neighbors are great.” Lie. Absolute fucking lie. Nestor at the end of the hall on the first floor would, no questions asked, rip you from the hallway if he saw you alone. A chill went down your spine and you conceded the moment you looked into Ghost’s eyes. You didn’t have a choice if they were escorting you all the way up. 

You turned and opened the door to the building, looking down the hall to make sure Nestor was in his apartment before slipping in and letting the boys in behind you. You headed to the elevator and punched the up arrow, biting your lip as you tried not to wither under the intense stare of the man in the mask. The elevator had been the selling point for you. It was the only place within your budget that had an elevator and you weren’t about to walk up five flights of stairs multiple times a day. 

The lift dinged and you stepped inside, Ghost and Johnny slipping in behind you just to stand with their bodies pressed against your back. Unintentionally, you leaned into them before your eyes widened at your own movement and you straightened so your body pulled away slightly.

The doors dinged and opened allowing you to step out onto your floor. You headed to your unit, digging for your keys in your purse. With a ‘aha!’, you pulled them out and shoved the key into the doorknob, unlocking it. “Would you guys like to come in? I might have some whiskey left?” you offer, turning to look at them. You didn’t know why you were inviting them in, but the sense of safety you had around them had you desperate for them to stay. 

“Sure, lemme text Price and Kyle where to come. Go on in, Si-Ghost. I’ll come in in a minute,” Johnny stated, already pulling his phone out and going to stand next to the window at the end of the hall. You opened the door and allowed Ghost in, leaving it unlocked so the others could join once they arrived. 

Heading into your kitchen, you stood up on your tippy toes, reaching up so you could pull out five of your good glasses. You were looking for the last one, but it was just out of your reach. Suddenly, you felt what could only be Ghost against your back, pressing you against the counter as he leaned over you to grab the glass. 

The heat of him against your back has your thighs clenching together while you watch his thick digits wrap around the glass and you wonder briefly what they’d feel like inside you. He takes a step back once he has the cup and holds it out to you. 

You turn back to him while trying to fight off the blush coloring your cheeks. You murmur a thanks and wrap your own fingers around the glass. 

Of course, that would be when the other three burst loudly through the door.

I wasn't intending for this to become a whole story, but it's really stuck with me over the last week or so.

<- Part Three Part Five ->

[aayakashii]

Okay so. The new Sho cards pushed me over the edge and I'll just publish this in multiple chapters because I can't contain it anymore and I kinda wanna know what people think to get some motivation skfhskdjhd

TW: sexual content, a bit of angst. Usage of the word senpai because I think it's kinda hot sorry. Sho is bad at feelings. MDNI

objects in the mirror are closer than they appear – ch. 1

Sometimes you could feel when things had to come to an end - a subtle shift in the atmosphere and then, suddenly, your gut knew of what you had to do, even before your mind could catch up to it. The realization settled uncomfortably in your lungs, like words begging to be said. It was interesting, even if a bit cruel: your body knew what you needed even if you tried, tirelessly, to turn your gaze away from the glaring truth. But you just couldn’t pretend not to see it anymore.

You were laying under the thin sheets of Sho's bed as you have done before time and time again, feeling the dried sweat stick to your skin uncomfortably. By your side, he was scrolling through social media on his phone, oblivious to the conflict brewing in your chest.

After a while, it all began feeling empty – that age-old dance of limbs, and lips and tongues. At least to you. You knew men could stick their dick into anything and they'd be plenty satisfied.

And for a little while, you thought you could be satisfied with only that too.

When he said he wasn't looking for a relationship, but couldn't deny the attraction you both felt for each other – when he asked you to be his friend with benefits, just pleasure and no strings attached – you thought you could do that too. You thought you'd be fine. You were grown, right? Life isn't a fairytale after all, you weren't granted a primce charming, much less to have your feelings reciprocated by the one person you liked.

Still, this wasn't even that bad. It was easy. Simple. No commitment. You could do easy. You could do that.

Right?

It wasn't your fault, really. You just weren't aware of how much you wanted any kind of connection with Sho to understand that a relationship as loose as that was the last thing you needed from him.

But neither was it his fault.

You were the one who had fallen for him, entering an agreement while already breaking the one rule you two had: no strings attached.

Your mind kept racing back and forth, anxiety wrenching your stomach, until it became too hard to keep the thoughts to yourself.

"Sho." you called, throat hurting with the swell of all the words that have spent way too long unsaid.

"Yeah?" he replied, staring at his phone.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

“You still don't plan on getting into a relationship, do you?” You murmured, fiddling with your bitten nails.

Sho blinked, stopping his doom scrolling to look at you.

“What?” He had chucked his bandana elsewhere at some point, too focused on what you two were doing to care much about the neatness of his hair. You hated how you still thought he looked gorgeous even when he was messy like that.

“You don't want a relationship. Right?” You raised your voice, even though it sounded weak to your own ears. “You still don't want one.”

He ran his fingers through his damp hair, sighing as if he was bracing for a conversation he didn't want to have.

“Yeah, no. I don't want a relationship right now. Why?”

You gave him a crooked smile and shook your head.

“Nothing. I was just thinking.” You picked up your discarded clothes from the floor. You didn't miss how his eyes raked over your body as you dressed up, but instead of feeling flattered, you could only pay attention to the deeply rooted bitterness in your core.

“Gonna go home.” You announced with a sniffle, grabbing your bag.

“Not gonna eat with me?” He asked with a small pout, sounding genuinely disappointed and it made you want to scream.

You just shook your head instead.

“No, I have some things I gotta do at my dorm.” You walked out, awkwardly evading his eyes as you did so. “Bye, Sho.”

“Oh… okay. Bye. I'll text you later.” You heard him say before you could close the door.

And when you got back to your dorm, right before entering the shower, you deleted his contact number.

You didn't harbor any type of hatred towards Sho – if anything, at least he never lied and made promises he would never fulfill. He was straightforward. He didn't want anything else from you that wasn't your friendship or your body.

But even if your rational, objective mind knew that, it didn't stop the hurt. You couldn't stand to see his face at all.

His messages were deleted as soon as they arrived on your phone (you couldn't just block him, you WERE the inspector after all) and you were doing a great job of avoiding him at any cost. You weren't ready to see him so soon after you decided to get over him. It was only fair.

And you still liked him. You missed him – his friendship, how easy it felt to be with him, his gentleness towards you, his hands on your body and his lips on your skin. But you couldn't just keep on torturing yourself with unrequited love.

Loving without getting anything back was tiring, taxing. The subconscious expectation of him finally falling for you after yet another fuck was always there, no matter how hard you tried to shoo it away. No matter how much the display of intimacy meant to you, it just wasn’t the same for him.

No one would come to swoop in and save you, nor did it seem like he planned to change his mind.

You had to save yourself, once and for all – and it all had to start with you cutting him off.

Maybe it was a bit harsh to just stop all contact all of a sudden, but as much as he didn't owe you his feelings, you didn't owe him excuses. It was easy – it was over. As smoothly as it had started.

And you hoped the healing would come as easily as well.

It had been, what? Almost a week? And Sho had yet to catch the littlest glimpse of you.

He wasn't one for dramatics, but he was pretty sure he was almost going insane. He went over all of your last interactions in his head, trying to find the culprit for your disappearance as he aggressively diced vegetables.

What happened? Did he say something? Did he do something? Why weren't you replying to any of his messages? Why weren't you visiting him at his work? Where the fuck were you, for fuck's sake?

“Careful. You're gonna cut a finger off.” Leo said in a sing-songy voice, right beside him. Sho gasped, the tight grip he had on his knife faltering and almost nicking his skin.

“What the fuck, Leo.” Sho barked the words harshly. He pushed himself away from the counter and ran a hand over his head. “I almost actually cut myself.”

Leo shrugged.

“Not my fault you're jumpy lately. What's going on, by the way? Did honor roll dump you?” his amber-like eyes glinted as he smirked, already eager to watch his reaction to his calculated nudges.

Sho only eyed him with a raised eyebrow.

“Dump me?” He grabbed a napkin, mindlessly wiping his hands as he began to feel restless at the mention of you. “We were never dating.”

At that, Leo widened his eyes, much to Sho's own confusion.

“You weren't dating? Fuck off.” he scoffed, in disbelief.

“No? We weren't dating. I said I didn't want a relationship. It was just some fun from time to time.” He murmured, the words feeling awfully bitter in his tongue. When he said it so plainly and out loud, it all felt so hollow. It felt cheap.

Leo's jaw dropped.

“Oh, so– Ohhh... Oh, damn. So you were just fucking them? Damn.” He whistled. “I kinda expected that from you, but not from them.” Leo giggled. “That's some humiliation kink if I've ever seen one.”

Sho furrowed his eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes, explicitly aggravated by how dense Sho could be.

“I mean… To accept to be your fuck buddy just to be around you and get a little taste of you. That's pathetic, don't you think?”

Sho blinked, breath suddenly hitching in his throat.

“What– that's– no. We're just friends.”

Leo laughed humorlessly.

“Maybe you think like that, but they definitely want more. They're always looking at you with that stupid little lovesick look, like this "hi sho~ yes, oh fuck, yes, right there, don't stop sho~" Leo faked a loud moan, one hand moving up and down in a jerking motion, with his tongue out.

Sho pushed him without a second of hesitation, Leo's back hitting a shelf full of pots and pans that rattled loudly. He laughed, even though a grimace painted his features at the ear-splitting noise.

“Fucking stop. That.” Sho warned through gritted teeth, stabbing one finger on Leo's chest.

Leo swatted his hand away, rolling his eyes again.

“Not my fault you're slow and blind. But maybe it doesn't matter now.”

Sho's eye twitched, watching as Leo moved through the mess of his kitchen, making his way to the door.

“What do you mean by that?”

Leo sighed as the breeze of the outside air hit his face as soon as the truck's door was opened. He turned to face Sho.

“They haven't been around right? That's why you're so stressed. I guess they're probably trying to move on since you're doing the whole ‘dont wanna date’ thing”.

Sho is silent, indigo eyes stormy with poorly contained anger.

“I mean.” He shrugged, turning back to descend the dangerous stairs of the food truck. “You'd do better with someone hotter anyway. But find someone else soon so you'll stop being so hissy. It's pissing me off.”

Sho flinched as Leo slammed the door shut.

And alone, in the silence, Sho began to be haunted by his thoughts.

He wasn't stupid. He knew there was something there, brewing silently inside your chest, but he also chose to ignore it.

He saw it in the stolen glances and how you held his hands when he hovered over you. He saw it in the way you refused to kiss him; in the way you explained that you’d reserve your kisses for someone who actually loved you, not a fuck buddy.

He remembered quite well the pang he felt in his chest when you said that, reverberating through bones with the same grimness of a death knell.

And he ignored it as well. There was nothing good that could come out of making things more complicated. Why should he? Wasn’t everything already too hard, being a fucking ghoul, being his brother’s dog, being in Darkwick, being a business owner… Why should he add another layer of complexity into his days? Wasn’t it okay to keep things easy?

But if Leo was right, then maybe you breaking the agreement was for the best – you were merely following the rules you two had set, back when he proposed it to you: no strings attached, no feelings. You were being responsible with your emotions and his boundaries.

And even knowing all that, Sho already fucking missed you way too much.

'No, scratch that', he shook his head, thinking to himself. He wasn’t missing you, per se. He was missing your body: the way his fingers sunk in the plushness of your flesh; the arch of your back when he hit a good spot; your breathless moans when he set a pace that was too overwhelming for you – yes. That's what he was missing. He was just missing the sex – having abstinence symptoms.

Right? Right. Yes.

He just had to suck it up like a proper man. Jerk the edge off and move on with his days.

He wouldn’t deny himself, however, of at least properly breaking things off with you. He thought he deserved that, at least.

The next time Sho saw you, he had to corner you before you could spot him and run away, like you two were in some weird game of cat and mouse. You were leaving the bathroom, and he all but pounced right next to you, grabbing your arm firmly.

“Senpai. We need to talk.” he blurted out as you turned around on your heel, gasping.

“Sho! Holy shit! You almost gave me a heart attack!” you panted, placing a hand on your chest. He frowned.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to spook you, but you’ve been avoiding me so my only solution was cornering you.” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

You looked away, opening your mouth as if you were about to retort his words, but nothing came out. Instead, you just sighed.

“Look-”

“I know you want to break off the agreement.” Sho interrupted you, words stumbling on each other as if he was afraid you’d disappear in any given moment, despite how firmly he kept holding your arm. “I- I know you don’t wanna… keep doing all that. And I just wanted to say I respect your wishes.”

At that, you blinked, widening your eyes. He scowled, looking away.

“No need to look so surprised. I’m not some monster, you know.”

You chuckled for a moment, and Sho swallowed thickly, eyes locked onto your lips as he realized how much he had missed hearing your voice and your laugh.

“I know you’re not.”

He frowned, an unwanted bitterness blooming inside his chest and seeping through his words.

“Then why did you disappear?” He said, a bit more sharply than intended. “You’ve been ignoring all of my messages. You haven't stepped foot in Vagastrom in a week. You aren't even eating lunch at my truck. We could have just talked in person, instead of you straight up ghosting me.”

You slowly pulled your arm from his grasp and he let go, albeit hesitant.

“I just…” you stared at him, gaze boring into his eyes. Sho noticed the pain in your expression and it made him suppress a shudder. Maybe Leo wasn’t wrong.

“I just realized we have different goals, I guess? I… I actually want one. A relationship, I mean. And you don’t. So I guess- I guess it’s just not gonna work anymore. Our agreement.”

He nodded slowly.

“Okay… but still, we could have talked. I thought we were friends.”

You laughed humorlessly, shaking your head. The pit inside his stomach grew with each second.

“Sho, I– Um.” you licked your lips, looking away “I don’t know if that’s gonna be possible for a while. Us being friends.”

His breath hitched on his throat.

“Why?”

“Because I have– I have feelings for you...?” you tilted your head, as if you were searching for the proper words, then nodded. He felt his heart stop at your words, but you just continued your spiel, none the wiser.

“Yeah, I guess I could put it this way. I entered the agreement already being in–" you cleared your throat, cutting your words off, but Sho knew all too well what you kept yourself from saying.

"I entered the agreement already having those feelings. I did it all just to be close to you. But it began hurting me, the ‘no strings attached’ thing. It was my fault, really. I knew nothing would come out of it. You made your boundaries very clear, but I kept on pushing. I just can’t push it anymore.”

The ground seemed to have disappeared from under his feet. He felt like his body was floating – unmoored, helpless, aimless – drifting through the space that surrounded you two. His thoughts were like cotton in his head as your words reached his ears.

You were doing what was right – you were respecting both of your boundaries. Things were askew from the beginning. Snipping the sickness in the bud was the right thing for you and for him.

Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he was losing a lot more than he bargained for.

“To heal, I need to get over you. I can’t be your friend right now. I can't spend time with you, I can't see you otherwise all of this–” you gestured to your chest, smiling sadly. “–will never go away. Sorry. Maybe when I’m over it, we can be friends again. Right now… I’d like to ask you to only talk to me in case of emergencies, please.”

When he just kept staring at you, silent, you sighed. You squeezed one of his arms and muttered a goodbye under your breath, quickly walking away and into a classroom, before he could grab you again.

Before he knew, Sho was alone and you were nowhere in sight. For good, this time.

Hi please comment or rb with tags letting me know what you think and if you like this idea, I really need the motivation to write again because the block has been AWWWWWFUL

Also yes, this little snippet here is supposed to be from this fic! Something that will happen later on :3

Thanks for reading and again: please interact with me (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

[catssluvr]

sensitive, natalie scatorccio

natalie scatorccio x fem!reader (1k words) (request)

in which you go out hunting with nat and have to kill an animal for the first time

warnings: panic attack(?), killing an animal, soft nat, too many kisses, fluff <3

⭑.ᐟ ⭑.ᐟ

Your hands shake slightly as you zip up the backpack in front of you, regretting your earlier choice by the second.

The reason is appealing, you want to spend more time with Nat and it’s something that’s getting harder and harder.

But hunting is anything but appealing to you. It was a bad idea, you know it for sure now. All this time you’ve doing all the things the other chores available, not being able to stomach the thought of taking an animal’s life.

Nat’s fingers slide up your arms, pulling a gasp from you at her sudden appearance. They slide up to your hair, pulling it away from your neck to give access to her lips.

“Hey. Ready to go, doll?” She asks, smiling against your warm skin.

Natalie had been the first to be reluctant about letting you come with her, having observed the way you avoided the sensitive topic. But the confusion had quickly turned into excitement at the opportunity to be alone with you.

“Sure.” You answer with a tight smile, thanking the fact that she can’t see your face properly.

She turns you in her arms, humming lazily. “If we’re quick to find dinner we can… i don’t know, maybe find a nice spot and hang there.”

You nod approvingly, pressing a quick kiss to her nose before pulling the backpack to your shoulders.

“Let’s not waste another second, then.” She smiles teasingly, pulling your hand to drag you into the forest.

You both walk for a while, chatting about whatever comes to mind. You speak a bit louder than you usually would, feeling bad for sabotaging the hunt on purpose. You're glad Nat probably doesn't have the heart to tell you to tune down.

At the point you've settled that you are not coming again, thinking of a good excuse to tell to Nat as to why you wouldn't want more time alone with her.

Suddenly her palm presses to your mouth, "Shh, look."

She points ahead silently, your eyes landing on the rabbit nibbling on some plants a few feet ahead. And fuck, you might actually tumble to the ground.

"Want to do the honours?" She asks in a whisper that you hope is loud enough for the sweet animal to hear. It isn't.

She's just trying to be nice, you know it. Showing you she thinks you're capable of doing it and definitely not aware of the anxiety creeping up your chest at the sight of the gun in her hands.

"I guess so." You reply shakily, accepting the gun into your hands. "Of course." You repeat as reassurance.

You point it up, pulling the safety trigger with fingers slippery from the sweat building up in your hands. You angle it carelessly, silently hoping the training was no good to you and that it runs as soon as the shoot misses.

"Here, grab it a bit more firmly." Nat reaches to steady your arms, helping you settle your finger against the trigger.

She knows your nervous, you realize. Just doesn't notice what the real motive for it is.

You pull it, stomach sinking as you do the perfect shot. The rabbit squeaks quietly before falling the ground, but it’s enough for the sound to be engraved in your head.

You try not to hyperventilate, adverting your eyes from to the rest of the surroundings in hope of forgetting it.

"Good job. Fast learner, huh?" Nat squeezes your arm before brushing past you, picking up the rabbit.

"Yeah." Your voice feels chocked as you speak, like at any moment the words will get stuck in your throat.

"Come on, maybe we'll be lucky enough to find a deer soon." She says, the idea of having to help her carry a deer makes your stomach do flips.

You close your eyes for a moment, trying to tell your legs to move as Nat starts walking. But you seem to take too long as her steps falter quickly.

"Baby?" She asks, confused. "What's going on?"

You turn to her, eyes filling up with distressed tears and chin wobbling as your lips move into a pout. You try to say something but even your own breath feels stuck, air not enough to fill your lungs.

"Hey, hey. Look at me." She drops everything, holding your cheeks between her hands as she helps you concentrate in her. "You did great." She repeats.

Nat tries to look calm, eyes searching for an expression that will help her understand what you're feeling.

She pulls one of your hands to her chest, right above her heart. Her breath guides your, taking deep exhales to make it easy for you to speak.

"I killed it, Nat." It comes out as a sob, your frightened face finally making sense to her.

The tears fall freely down your face, but it's now more of a post scare than the anxious feeling from before speaking up.

"Sweetheart." She breathes, tucking your face into her neck as her arms wrap around your frame. You feel bad for the tears (and probably snot) that sweep to her shirt, but Nat doesn't seem to mind, pulling you as close as possible.

"It's okay, i got you." Her own breath fans your ear, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your cheek.

"'M sorry." You croak, starting to feel embarrassed for what feels like an outburst.

"Don't apologize." She asserts, "You don't have to do this, you know?"

"I want to- i mean i don't." You huff, rubbing at your cheek frustratedly, "I wish i wanted to." You decide.

"It's not a problem if you don't. I'm right here, baby." Natalie smiles, helping your troubled mind calm down.

"Just wanted to spend time with you." You mumble honestly, making her smile turn giddy.

"Well, no one has to know i'm the one getting the job done. It's not usually a problem." She jokes, successfully making you giggle as you lightly punch her shoulder.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't think you'll ever catch me wanting to not spend time with you." Nat speaks, tucking your hair behind your ear and wiping the stray tears left on your cheek.

"Come on, i think they can manage with doing something else for dinner tonight." She intertwines your fingers as you start walking. "Besides, we have a lot of kissing to catch up on."

"Dork." You shake your head with a smile, the heavy weight on your chest completely dissipated.

[pyrodolls]

YANDERE! RE2 LEON KENNEDY X READER

WARNINGS: stalking, sub leon, ooc leon, slightly nsfw but not smut, leon is a creepy masochist, kidnapping, no use of y/n or name, gender neutral reader, not proofread bc it's 2 am for me rn

SUMMARY: you were never very close to leon, but you harbored some feelings for him. but your entire view on him changes when you get invited to his place and you find out how he truly feels about you...

A/N: remember when i used to be a havik account? good times. also it's been a hot minute since i played re2 so if it's ooc i apologize.

leon thought you looked so pretty in your sleep. you looked completely peaceful and unbothered. your bedsheets covered your entire body except for your ethereal face, which he could stare at all day. the moon provided a dim glow through your window, giving leon a clear view of your entire bedroom while you slept. sure it may be creepy or a bit stalker-ish of leon to watch you sleep, but he couldn't help it! you were just so irresistible. if only you knew how much he loved you, and how he was capable of protecting and providing for you. he has the potential to be the best boyfriend to you. but you didn't even know him that well, and he was fully aware of that fact. so that's why he suddenly got an idea while he watched you sleep that night. it was a brilliant idea. he could invite you to his place and gain your trust! leon didn't want to waste any time, so he would immediately ask you first thing in the morning.

when you woke up that morning, you got a call from leon a few minutes after you got out of bed.

"i know it's a bit early in the morning, i hope you weren't sleeping... if so, i'm really sorry. i mean, i didn't know when to call you because i didn't want to bother you but at the same time i just really wanted to ask you something." leon rambled.

"no worries, leon. you could never bother me. besides, i just got out of bed. this was so perfectly timed, it's almost as if you memorized my sleep schedule." you joked.

"oh, yeah, that's crazy. imagine that," leon chuckled nervously. "um, anyway, i was just thinking... would you like to come over to my place later? i just thought that we know each other a little bit, but i'd like to get to know you more, since i think you're pretty cool and stuff, so, uh, yeah..." he trailed off, waiting for an answer.

upon hearing his proposal, you lit up in excitement. you always thought he was cute and wanted to get to know him, but you were too nervous to make the first move. this was a great opportunity.

leon was nervously fiddling with his fingers as he waited for your response. the longer you took to respond, the more his anxiety grew. he could feel the sweat forming on his skin and his chest tighten. what if you weren't interested in him in that way? was he being too forward? were you too busy?

you took a deep breath before you finally responded, mustering up the courage to say something. "i'll visit in a couple hours. i'll see you then, leon." you responded quickly, hanging up the phone and getting ready to see him.

leon's heart almost jumped out of his chest when you finally responded. he dropped his phone and immediately got to work, cleaning his place and hiding the pictures of you sleeping and your old clothes in a box under his couch.

he worked very hard to tidy everything up, wanting it to be perfect for you. only the best for you.

when he finished cleaning, he sat on the floor in front of his door like a puppy waiting for its owner. he patiently waited for you to knock on the door and come in, even though it would be a couple more hours until you arrived.

after a few hours of leon not moving a single inch, you finally arrived. as soon as your knuckles grazed the door to knock, leon swung it open with superhuman speed.

"thanks for coming! i hope the weather wasn't too harsh on you." leon greeted, stepping aside to let you in. he didn't actually know if the weather was harsh or not, he just said the first thing that came to his mind to start a conversation with you.

"thanks... and uh, the weather isn't bad at all. it's just a bit windy." you responded, awkwardly standing by the door.

leon was trying his hardest to act calm, but his heart was racing and he could feel his palms getting sweatier and sweatier. you were standing right next to him! and you were alone together! he could've just died right then and there. instead of watching you through your window, you're right in front of him! instead of breaking into your house and stealing and sniffing your clothes, he can just smell you right by him! he was in heaven.

for a couple hours, you both spent time together by watching movies and chatting, getting to know each other more and more. leon even ordered dinner for you both, and somehow he got your favorite food, and he claimed it was just intuition. it didn't even feel like hours had passed, since you were both enjoying yourselves.

"so, uh, do you like this movie?" leon awkwardly spoke up, as you both sat on the couch in front of his tv. you simply smiled and nodded, too tired to respond. it was a random film that you weren't familiar with, and you watched it in silence next to him. you were both clearly tired after that long day, but leon didn't want you to leave just yet. so he started awkwardly starting new conversations or asking you questions, hoping to keep your attention on him. he loved the amount of attention you already gave him that day, and he was still giddy that you agreed to visit him in the first place. all he needs to stay happy is for you to look at him. but you were literally sitting on his couch and spending time with him, and it just made him so overwhelmed with joy. it gave him hope that you could work as a couple someday, and you would never know about his unorthodox antics to get to this point.

or at least that's what he thought.

at some point, leon excused himself to the restroom and left you boredly swinging your legs back and forth on the couch. but you felt your leg kick something hard underneath the couch. when you decided to investigate, you found a hidden box. curious as to why it was hidden, you decided to open it and look inside.

big mistake.

you found some old clothes and underwear that you thought you lost, pieces of your hair, various pictures of you sleeping, a few grocery lists and paperwork that you thought you threw away, and even pages ripped out of leon's journal describing his dark fantasies of you. some of it had some mysterious white stains on it. it was disgusting, and it made you sick to look through it. you thought leon was just a cute sweetheart, but it turned out he was a stalker and a creep. you were so shocked, that you didn't know what to do. should you run? call someone? but it was unsafe, because he clearly knew your address and a lot of your personal information. you had no idea what to do, so you stayed frozen in shock.

when leon returned, he saw the horrified look on your face and saw the box in your hands. his heart dropped. you knew his secret.

"shit. oh my god, uh, it's not what you think. i swear, i just, uh, fuck..." leon stammered, dropping down to his knees in shame.

"what the fuck is this? how long have you been stalking me, you fucking creep?" you yelled, standing over his shaking form.

"haah.. i... uh.." leon seemed to be breathing weirdly, and you weren't sure if it was out of anxiety or pleasure.

"and this," you picked up one of the pages from his journal and waved it in front of his face. "what the fuck is this? you are so fucked up... are you in love with me or something? or is it just some weird ass sexual obsession?"

"i.. i do love you! of course i do! this isn't how i wanted you to find out, but i really do love you! please don't take it the wrong way. i don't want to hurt you, i just want to be with you. i want to feel you and- and spend every waking moment of my life with you.. please don't hate me." leon begged, grasping onto your leg pathetically.

"you're sick in the head. and you're nothing but a pathetic stalker." you scoffed. all the trust and affection you had for him went out the window after you opened that box. there was no way he can get your trust back. hell, you were willing to cut contact with him and move to another country at that point.

"fuck... okay, maybe i am.. but, uh... shit." leon struggled to get his words out, as he felt aroused by your degradation. he never thought it would feel so good to have you yell at him. he could barely even speak, it just felt euphoric for you to scold him for his actions. you expected him to panic, but he seemed to have mixed feelings about the situation. he was still horrified that you discovered his dirty secret, but he had stars in his eyes the more you screamed at him.

"oh my god... you're a masochistic freak, huh? you like it when i yell at you? god, you're so fucked up." you spat, grabbing his collar and lifting him up to your level.

leon whimpered at the sudden contact, not responding to your degredation and simply squirming at your touch.

you sighed. "are you going to explain yourself? or are you just going to keep babbling nonsense?"

after getting no response, you dropped him and started to grab your things and leave.

"i.. i love you so much!" leon blurted out. "please don't leave! i promise, i can make it up to you! i'll do whatever you want! i can uh... i can provide for you! you won't have to lift a single finger for the rest of your life! and uh... i can cook and clean! sort of. i'll learn how to take care of you. i'll show you that i can be a good boyfriend if you let me! please, just love me! i did all these things for you and i promise i will stop if you want me to! please, don't leave."

leon stood in front of the door and desperately held you in place, not wanting to let you leave.

if you chose to stay, leon would be overjoyed. he would keep his promise and make it up to you, spending the rest of his life protecting you from harm and doing anything to keep you happy. your well-being is his number one priority, he'd make himself look like a fool if it meant getting a smile out of you. just let him love you. you don't need to give him anything in return!

if you chose to leave, leon would be a sobbing, sulking mess for about an hour or two before he decided on what to do. he still had all of your information. he knew pretty much everything about you. he would probably do something to force you into being with him, such as faking your death and kidnapping you. you have nobody else now. you have to be with leon now. he is the only one that still loves you and will keep you happy. even if you're mad at him now, he has hope that someday you will warm up to him and be willing to have a relationship with him. he'll wait patiently for that day to come.

[mia-maybank]

I Have A Feeling You Got Everything You Wanted: Part 4 - George Clarke

George Clarke x Fem!reader (2.8k words)

The sidemen charity match , a gorgeous ex-boyfriend with a mullet and his entire friendgroup scattered around the stands to avoid ... what could ever go wrong?

warnings: talks of poor mental health and depression, but mostly a very fluffy chapter (potentially the happiest piece of fiction I've ever written I fear)

series | masterlist

It's finally here and my longest part yet!! I'm so so sorry it took so long and I don't like how this part turned out but I hope y'all like it, I promise I'll get the next few parts out quickly to make up for vanishing for like a over a week <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing I register when I wake up is the pounding of my head and the deep ache that weighs down my limbs. The second thing I become aware of is the manly scent in the air as opposed to the usual floral aroma my incense produces. The third thing is the fact that I am not in my own bed, but rather a larger and much more comfortable bed that I recognise all too well; George's.

I sit up in panic. What the fuck am I doing in my ex boyfriends bed? Luckily, I don’t have to wait too long to find out, because the door gently creaks open, George peeking his head into the room and smiling fondly when his gaze lands on me.

“Good morning lovey” he greets me, sitting down on the edge of the bed, keeping a respectable distance between us that makes me love and hate him all at once. He’s already dressed in blue jeans and a soft purple cardigan that compliments his pale complexion and sits well on his toned muscles.

“Morning” I whisper back shyly, forcing myself to stop looking at his muscles and to focus on the more pressing problem. “What happened last night? I don’t remember much” I break the silence that had settled once more, my anxiety only deepening as I watch his smile falter at the question. 

“Do you remember how you ended up here?” he questions gently, and I shake my head. Oh fuck, did I try and seduce him or some shit? I internally panic, wondering if I have managed to majorly screw up things once again, despite the fact my reunion with George and my old friends quite literally began less than 24 hours ago.

My internal panic must be clear in my expression, because he shuffles closer, placing a hand on my duvet-covered knee and drawing soothing circles with his thumb. My breath-hitches at the sudden contact and I freeze, terrified to make one wrong move and scare him off, but he seems undeterred by my reaction, his hand remaining a grounding presence against my skin.

“Don’t worry, it’s not nearly as bad as what you're probably thinking - in the words of Arthur the alcohol ‘hit you like a truck’ and you threw up, but me and Chris took care of you and brought you back here” he explains. Well, at least I didn’t try to sleep with him.

“I’m so sorry” I flush, embarrassed at the fact I let myself get into that state in front of them. It’s not like they’d never seen me drunk before - my relationship with George had consisted of frequent pub-golf and clubbing nights that usually ended in me and Arthur Frederick being carried home by George and Isaac - but I hadn’t intended for the night to end that way last night of all nights. “I haven’t drank for a while, I guess the alcohol hit me harder than I thought it would’ve”.

“Yeah, you mentioned that last night” George says, and there’s an edge to his tone, bitter and filled with sadness, almost like he knows more than he’s letting on. I narrow my eyes at him, glad the distance between us hasn’t eradicated my ability to read him like an open book.

“Did I say anything else? Last night, I mean” I probe, desperate to know if I embarrassed myself any further. He hesitates, which pretty much answers my question.

“George..” I begin, not sure how to broach this when I’m not sure exactly what I said to him. If it’s bad enough for him to be hesitant to tell me, it means he either got hit with a brutal trauma-dump or a drunken love confession, and I’m not sure which one is worse. 

“That was pretty much all you said, don’t worry” he interrupts, albeit softly, like he’s handling fragile glass that could shatter if he speaks any louder. Which, to be fair, he may not be too far wrong about. Before I can call out his obvious bluff, he holds out a hand to me and offers me a pleading expression, almost like he’s willing me to drop the subject. “Breakfast? I’ve made your favourite, scrambled eggs and hash browns in star shapes just how you like them”.

“You remembered” I exclaim excitedly, momentarily letting our prior conversation be shoved to the side at the thought of experiencing George’s cooking once again. Seriously, this man is annoyingly talented in everything he does, to the point that me and Arthur Hill made it into a game of taking George to different activities to find anything he’s bad at, with bowling being our only success. 

“Of course I did” he grins, guiding me out of his bed and towards the kitchen.

~~~

“Eat your own hash browns you gremlin” I grumble playfully as I wack Chris’ hand away from my plate for the 4th time in the last 5 minutes. We are crammed around the slightly too-small table that everybody complained about since its purchase over a year ago but secretly nobody wanted to replace it as the proximity to each other was comforting. Especially in times like now, where the warmth of Chris and Arthur Hill’s elbows on either side of me and George’s knee touching mine were the only things tethering me to reality right now.

“But mine aren’t star shaped” Chris pouts dramatically, only sulking further as I let out a slightly smug “too bad Chrissy Pie” with a giggle. Falling back into the rhythm of bantering and bickering relentlessly with Chris covets my heart in a blanket of familiarity and a sense of home, warming my insides and putting me into a giggly state. 

“So, when are you moving back in with us?” Arthur asks me, causing me to nearly choke on my coffee out of pure shock, although Chris and George both look like they were expecting the question to arise soon or later. His tone is entirely casual, like it’s an expected thing, like I’m allowed to just slot back into my old life with them. 

“Moving-moving back in?” I stammer out, a storm of disbelief and anxiety swirling in my stomach. Moving back in with them would be like a dream come true; but exactly that, a dream, a fantasy rather than something that I deserve to actually happen to me.

“Only if you want to of course, but we were talking last night and figure why not” George adds on softly, clearly catching on to my hesitation.

“Plus we kept your old room as you left it, you would only have to move your clothes and cosmetics back in…unless you wanna go back to sharing with George of course-“ whatever pun Chris was about to make is cut off by George whacking the back of his head playfully, and I sit there in disbelief, choked up at how casual they are about adopting me into their dynamic once more, almost like I never even left.

“Y/n?” Chris probes more seriously now, looking at me with a little concerned furrow in his brows that breaks a half-laugh, half-sob out of me.

“You guys are sure?”

“Of course we are dummy, we love you” “absolutely” “positive”

“Well I suppose my days of peace and quiet are over” I joke weakly and all 3 of the boys break out into relieved grins before sandwiching me into an impromptu group hug. I let the tears flow freely now, sandwiched between 3 boys that I love unconditionally, despite the fracture between us the last 2 months.

~~~

“Okay…I think that’s the last of it.” Arthur breaks the tense silence that has encompassed use ever since we set foot into the barebone flat. When Arthur and George had insisted on coming with me to help me pack my things (Chris claiming he had “better things to do with his time than help us losers”) , I had warned them the flat was minimally decorated, but the vague description certainly didn’t do justice to the depression pit I had previously been living in; majority of my belongings still sat abandoned in boxes from procrastinating packing when I first moved in, the furniture is basic and only what I had deemed necessary (a singular sofa, basic kitchen equipment, one small coffee table), the fridge is stark and my clothes are thrown in messy heaps on the bedroom floor.

We had barely spoken since George had questioned what I had been eating and my response of “I ordered takeaway sometimes” didn’t suffice, all 3 of us lost in our own thoughts. The drive back is void of conversation too, the silence only being broken when we arrive back and Arthur suggests we start unpacking my things.

“Uh-yeah, sure” I respond, thrown off by the demand of living with people once again and therefore being expected to tackle responsibilities straight away , rather than procrastinating and bed rotting to the maximum. My weariness must show on my face despite my attempts to mask it behind a smile, because George’s expression softens with concern.

“Is it okay if I speak to y/n for a second first?” George asks, side-eyeing Arthur pointedly until he finally clocks on to George’s less-than-subtle hint and walks away, muttering vaguely about going to unload the rest of the boxes from the car.

George sits on the sofa, patting the spot next to him and waiting until I am settled against the cushions before he speaks.

“Are you okay? You seem really tired and y/n - I am the last person to judge but your apartment just seemed so empty and messy and - well, unlike you” I almost flinch away from the concern in his gaze, having grown so familiar to isolation and internalising my problems that his concern feels foreign.

“I’m finally, probably just still a bit hungover from last night, don’t worry” the lie falls flat and lands stale in the air between us, and I can tell he doesn’t fall for it for even a second.

“Y/n” his tone isn’t strict but rather imploring, like he’s pleading with me for the truth.

I sigh gently, trying to emotionally regulate myself for the conversation I’m about to have. “I guess - I’ve just been so used to living by myself since everything that happened that I’ve gotten used to just laying in bed all day and it feels weird to actually have to be doing things and - god I sound so lazy I’m so sorry” my explanation is shaky and full of self doubt, and I only realise I’m near tears when George cups my cheek with a gentle hand, brushing his thumb under my eye soothingly.

“You’re not lazy at all my love and you never need to apologise…you’ve been through so much shit mostly because of me and I’m so so sorry for that-“ I cut off his ramble with a small shake of my head, not letting him blame himself for my mental state any longer.

“George you're not responsible for this, I promise you” I reassure him, and he surprises me by leaning forward and placing a lingering kiss on my forehead. Heat instantly tingles up my spine, and I bury my flushing cheeks into his chest as he cradles me tightly, rocking rhythmically. 

“I hope you know that you're not alone anymore, and I will sit with you through your depression, your bad days, your good days, each and every single one of them” he promises, and if he notices how my breathe hitches at his use of the dreaded d-word, he doesn’t verbally acknowledge it but rather just holds me tighter.

“Thank you, G” I whisper, feeling his shoulders drop as we both relax fully into the embrace. 

“Always darling” he breathes back, neither of us in a rush to break the sacred sort of peace that has settled in the quiet room.

The universe has other plans however, as Arthur Hill chooses that moment to loudly cough in warning before coming through the door with Chris and Arthur TV barrelling behind him. 

“I brought some strays back with me, hope you don’t mind” Arthur Hill grins. We quickly separate from the embrace, but neither of us miss the barely concealed smirks adjourning the 3 boys’ expressions. Bach follows behind them, immediately cracking jokes about breast milk to lighten the mood.

Arthur TV immediately bounds to the sofa, resembling an over-excited puppy, and settles beside me with little concept of personal space. I can’t help but snuggle into him, the ache of being severely touch starved hitting me full force. He starts rambling to me about evolution and the podcast episode he filmed this morning with Bach, and soon enough we are giggling like teenagers. 

Chris settles down at the end of the sofa, pulling my legs into his lap and rubbing circles into them as he joins in with our conversation. I am so engrossed in the conversation and the healing amount of human contact I am receiving right now that I completely miss George and Bach watching us with fond eyes.

“The angel babies of the group are finally back together” Bach murmurs to George, gesturing between me and Arthur TV, unbeknownst to the pair of us. George nods in agreement, allowing Bach to pull him into a hug and for himself to sink into the comforting atmosphere that now took up the room. He wouldn’t dare admit it, not yet at least, but the flat had felt wrong without you.

We sprawled out on the sofas for the remainder of the day, shit-eating and watching crappy movies until the day began to draw to a close. George padded up to me, smiling gently before sitting down where Arthur TV had been 2 minutes prior before going to the bathroom.

“Wanna come get some ice cream with me and watch the sunset? Your favourite ice cream place is still open and I promise minimal talking if that’s what you feel like right now” he proposes, rather nervously, as if expecting me to say no.

“Of course” I grin and he lets out a high-pitched “wehe” that makes me giggle at his childish glee. He picks me up bridal-style and practically skips to the door with a dramatic flourish, only stopping to allow me to slip my air-forces onto my feet.

“George” I half laugh, half groan as he insists on carrying me right out of the door, although I have no intention of really stopping him as his boyish giggles radiate pure joy, like that emotion has been locked away and left to rot for a while, and from the other boy’s expressions I suspect it might’ve been. Maybe he took the breakup harder than I expected after all.

We walk the short distance to my favourite ice-cream place, the one that we had discovered on our very first date, and then settle down on the river bank with an ice cream cone each and happy smiles lighting up our features.

“Hey George?” I break the comfortable silence after a while, glancing at him fondly.

“Yeah, lovey?” He replies back equally as gently, leaning in closer to me.

“Thank you. For this, for letting me move back in, for everything you’ve done for me in the past 2 days” I tell him, the quiet and the warmth of the spring air loosening my tongue, allowing my vulnerabilities to come rushing free.

He doesn’t reply instantly, his eyes flickering over every detail of my face before his expression shifts into a rare, more vulnerable state.

“I really missed you, y’know” his voice is hoarse and thick with emotion, making me want to just reach out and engulf him in my arms. “I never thought I would get a second chance…and now that I have it I don’t want to ruin it.”

“You won’t, I think we’ve both realised how much we need each other now” I admit, not being able to help my eyes from flickering between his eyes and lips where his face rests a mere 3 inches from mine. “I think I’m going to need to take it very slow though” I admit, my face burning with embarrassment.

“That’s understandable, and perfectly okay” he is quick to reassure me. "I’m willing to wait as long as you need”.

2 inches.

“I do have a question, though” he switches to a more playful tone, his eyes flickering down to my lips so swiftly that I swear I imagined it.

1 inch.

“Is the question to do with the fact you can’t keep your eyes off my lips? Because if so, the answer is yes, yes and yes” I flirt back, breath hitching as I pray that I haven’t misread the situation.

My doubts are swiftly silenced as his lips crash onto mine, reprieve, relief and the feeling of home hitting me all at once. It’s soft, patient and yet frantic and yearning all at once-like we are conveying each singular emotion through one kiss. He eventually pulls back, breathless, and I can only smile up at him, speechless.

“Well I guess I got my answer loud and clear” he finally speaks, and I collapse onto his chest in a fit of giddy laughter.

Yeah, I think we will be just fine, me and George.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

@the-internets-girlfriend @madforgeorge @happyclifford @sidemenslver @heyitsmefall @bbygrlllllll @mothersversiononly @dopeysunflowers @kwonhoeshi @ooostarwarsfandom501st @liz140569 @tyna-19 @livvymd @clarkeyscvntymullet @swizzlemynizzle @whorteshawsx @madsclarkey @bibissparkles @mdhillclarkey @bowielovesyou @kneelforloki

[ms-demeanor]

I appreciate you starting a conversation about the harms of homeopathy, and I just want to mention that homeopathy/alternative medicine is also largely BS when it comes to treating our pets. A lot of essential oils and herbal remedies are toxic to cats and dogs even in small quantities, but people still try using them as flea and tick prevention because they don’t want to use “toxic” medicine that actually works. CBD isn’t FDA approved for dogs because it’s not been proven to be effective and safe, but a lot of folks have pushed me to try it for my dog because he’s on medication for extreme anxiety. Some folks will seek out animal chiropractors to “treat” their dog’s IVDD or hip dysplasia instead of pursuing pain management or surgical treatment. People think that vets look at their pets and see dollar signs instead of an animal needing treatment and turn to snake oil salesmen instead. It’s maddening.

Yeah that makes me fucking crazy.

@drferox and @why-animals-do-the-thing are great resources on tumblr who have spent a ton of time discussing animal woo in the past; both have slowed down on posting because life is hard and tumblr is tumblr, but both have done a lot of excellent writing about things like animal training, raw pet food, vaccination, and how to be a good human to your pets. If you've got questions about animals, search their archives and you're probably going to find a ton of useful information.

Folks, I swear veterinarians aren't coming for your wallets and they are generally criminally under-compensated for the work that they do. They're brilliant professionals who are driven by passion and fucked by the market.

Sorry i went to go find some studies on dogs and cbd and i ended up finding a reprint of a small study from the american holistic veterinary medical association and I found this on the pdf and i'm going to murder somebody

for those who are not aware young living is an essential oil mlm largely targeting mormon housewives that was started by a man whose child died being drowned at birth in an at-home-water-birthing incident and who himself likely died of cancer he tried to treat with essential oils.

This is one of those things that's like a big flashing neon sign that the study/journal you're looking at is a hot pile of bullshit.

Anyway. Yeah. Research supporting the safety and effectiveness of CBD on dogs is pretty thin on the ground. Your pets depend on you. The choices you make determine their health and wellbeing.

Listening to woo-peddlers who tell you not to vaccinate, or who hype up untested "healthy grain free diets," or who promote and sell cbd in absence of evidence of its effectiveness is putting your pets hands in the health of someone who doesn't care about your pet, they just care about profit.

Also, while I'm here: don't feed your dog grain free foods unless they have a diagnosed allergy, grain free foods can lead to liver and kidney problems, dogs are more omnivorous, not obligate carnivores like cats and grain is not bad for their diet nor unnatural for them to eat, and there are very few brands that have done decades of feeding tests on dogs (Royal Canin, Hills Science Diet, Pedigree, Eukanuba, and Iams) and none of them are Blue Buffalo.

Appeals to nature are extremely common in online woo discussions of pet food and vet care. Your dog is not a wolf and does not need to eat like a wolf. Your cat is not a lion and does not need to claim territory like a lion.

Vaccinate your pets, don't let them wander, feed them tested diets, and listen to your vet's advice on their care.

[bweeeb]

"GIRLFRIEND"

Carmen Berzatto x Reader (you)

( @softmullet : i want me some tender love from carmy 😩 ) Notes: I believe that if things had gone well in the last episode of the second season, it could easily have gone something like this, I hope this story is enough for you, and i hope u like it. Thank's for the request

Summary: When Carmen's "girlfriend" comes up at the opening of The Bear, at the end of the night they both realize something

It was family and friends night at the restaurant, the first service at The Bear, and Carmen couldn't be more anxious about it. He wanted everything to go well, to serve good service, good food, a good place, he wanted it to be perfect. You went with your friends, Melissa and Isis, to the opening of The Bear. Although Carmen was aware that you might be there, since he was the one who invited you, he hadn't thought you would actually go.

— Cousin, your girlfriend is at table 29.

Richie, who was in charge of the dining area, approached Carmen working in his station. — She's your girlfriend already, right cousin?

— She's here? Carmen asked, not stopping his food preparation.

— Damn, man, figure it out and make her your girlfriend quick. That's what Richie said before leaving the kitchen, leaving Carmen thoughtful

You and Carmen started going out frequently four months ago. Your confidence in what you did, your smile, and the unusual comfort you transmitted to Carmen made anxiety spread through his body. But for the first time, it wasn't the bad kind of anxiety—it felt good to be near you.

Sitting at table twenty-one, you smiled towards Richie, who approached the table with a bottle of wine and a smile on his lips.

— Y/n. Richie said your name as he stopped beside you before continuing; — Excuse me, girls, would you like some wine? I know it's what you like.

— Hi, Richie. You greeted him and your friends smiled.

— Yeah, I’d love that. Isis smiled at Richie following Melissa’s confirmation beside her.

— How sweet, thank you.

— Thanks. — you thanked politely as you saw him filling your glass. — Things are really good around here, dude. Carm didn't tell me it was all so fancy.

— What do you mean, cousin didn't show off with those fancy cutlery?

Richie teased Carmen, causing laughter from your lips and two mischievous smiles directed at you by your friends.

— Yeah, I don't know, I guess he didn't want to involve me in this. You said shrugging your shoulders as you took a sip of your wine.

— I think he wants to involve you in everything, Y/n Bear. He’s just not good at it... — the older man nodded and started stepping back — Now I’ll let you enjoy the night, if you need anything, I’ll be at your disposal. He said before disappearing into the dining area.

— Oh no, stay. Isis murmured watching Richie leave while biting her thumb distractedly.

— He's too old for you. You said laughing out loud and snapping Isis out of her daydreams.

— Regardless, sister. Your boyfriend’s friend is hot.

— Carmen is not my boyfriend. You huffed looking at the glass in your hand.

— Oh really, you’re still at this? You sleep at each other's houses, fuck like rabbits, and I feel like the loneliest person in the world when I see you two. What are you? Friends? No way. Melissa said rolling her eyes before laughing and drinking her wine.

— We’ve never talked about it. He didn't grow up with a good image of relationships, I don't want to force anything, sometimes he just wants a fling.

— Right, a fling of a hundred and twenty-one days. Wake up, baby, you heard the hottie, he wants to involve you in everything. Isis said sighing.

— But what if he doesn't want to... he probably didn't even want me here. You said laughing nasally, remembering Carmen’s vague mention a week ago, saying you could come if you wanted to.

— Believe me, Y/n, you have enough personality for him to want you! — Melissa smiled leaning back in the chair — I bet twenty bucks he’ll come here just to bring your dish because he’s totally in love with you.

— As if he had time, this is a restaurant and it’s full, Mel...— You said laughing again.

— I think he’ll come, I mean, would he really not? Isis shrugged drinking her wine again.

— Alright, let’s see...

Not long after, the conversation that you three had started was interrupted by the huge smile on Melissa’s face. The dishes were placed in front of you and Carmen's eyes fell on you like a magnet.

— Hi.

— Hi, everything is really good, Carm. Congrats.

— Thanks. Uhm, yeah...— Carmen said and at that moment he was grateful not to have anything special to present on your plate because you were too beautiful for him to focus on anything other than you at that table. — You look beautiful and I hope you all have a good time. Enjoy! He said stepping away from the table with a glance before disappearing back into the kitchen.

— He’s obviously busy and still came to say hi to you. Melissa smiled and groaned while throwing her head back.

— You look beautiful, that’s the compliment I’ve heard the most on all my dates and this was the first truly sincere one I’ve heard, my god. Isis said smiling while looking at you, smiling at your plate.

— hmm, yeah, he’s sweet.

— I want my money. Melissa said before starting to eat like you and Isis.

°°°

The end of the night had come, the place was less noisy, the last customers were leaving, the kitchen was starting to be cleaned and that meant Carmen was less hectic if everything had gone well.

You had left Isis and Melissa behind in the dining area with Niel and Richie while you looked for Carmen.

Passing by Sydney who was leaning on the counter, you stopped to look at her for a while.

— Hey, Syd. Are you alright? You asked and received a nod from the girl who seemed tired.

— Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just...you know...all of this was crazy and it was my first night working like this for real, so... it’s a lot. She vented and you sighed agreeing.

— I could say I understand but in reality, I don’t understand the pressure you guys have in the kitchen, but I can guarantee you did a great job, everything I ate, the service, everything was great. You said and Sydney smiled at you, understanding why Carmen liked you, it was simple.

— Thanks, Y/n. I think you should tell him that, he’s a bit worried.

— Where is he? You asked, twisting your lips.

— Office. Sydney gestured with her hands, showing you the way and with a grateful smile, you went after Carmen who was found by you sitting in the office, now Natalie’s, with his hands on his head.

— Hey, Chef. You said, standing at the office door waiting for him to let you in.

— Hi. Carmen responded, adjusting his posture and freeing his lap for you to sit on his thighs. There was the confirmation you needed.

— What’s wrong? You asked, sitting on him and wrapping your hands around his neck.

— I think I could have done better. He murmured

— You can always do better, Carmy, but what you guys did here today was great. The girls were delighted even with the damn glasses on the table. You murmured and saw Carmen close his eyes, closing his arms around your waist. — You know I wouldn’t lie to you if I had any complaints about this place, and I can assure you that things, at least out there, were great. How were they here?

Your voice was calming for Carmen who forced himself to open his eyes and look at the beautiful thing in his arms. — We should be more organized.

— Hm, things like that always happen, you guys will get the hang of it, this was the first service, my love.

And there was the nickname that made Carmen feel like a prematurely lovestruck teenager.

— I’m really happy you liked it, beautiful. Carmen murmured, bringing a hand to your left cheek.

— You. Should. Relax. — With each pause, you planted a peck on Berzatto’s lips. Once you felt him still tense.

— Why are you so perfect, fuck. Carmen whispered, sucking on your neck and pulling you in for a longer, more heated kiss. — Did you like the wine you drank? He asked, pulling your body closer to his.

— It was you who chose it. Now it makes sense. You laughed softly, playing with the curls of the man below you. — I loved it, thanks.

— I'm happy that you came, I thought you wouldn’t. Carmen admitted, which made you make a confused face.

— I almost thought you didn’t want me to come. You murmured, embarrassed, and Carmen frowned, pulling your face to look at him.

— I love when you’re near me, please, stay close. He asked with conviction in his words.

— Okay, I will.

— Listen, I-I want you to be my girlfriend, Y/n. But I want to do this right...— Carmen started and before he could finish you stopped him, agreeing.

— I love you, Carmy. You asking me to be your girlfriend or not, it’s okay, we don’t need to do this like it’s a race. You agreed softly, looking into his eyes until the mood was broken by Richie shouting from the other side of the kitchen:

— Allright, cousin, enough of the mushiness. We need to close this restaurant. The older man appeared in the doorway and looked at you two with a bored face. — Didn’t know we could have sex at work.

— Shut up. Carmen said while you got up from his lap and Richie disappeared from your sight.

— Hey, want to sleep over? I’ll finish quickly. Carmen offered and you smiled, nodding your head gently.

— Sure. You said watching him leave the office and come back in a second.

— And hey, I love you too.

---

Requests are open ✨

[glimmeringwinchester]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 – grace winchester has spent her life searching for approval from her father. when she and her brothers find themselves up against a nest of vampires, she realizes its okay to let bridges stay burned.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒) – canon typical violence, ptsd, mention of anxiety, implied panic attacks/anxiety disorder, mentions of childhood abuse, additional violence, protective dean and sam, gracie finally stands up for herself, dean is serious when he says john will never hurt his sister again, fluff/comfort f you squint and really take it in, oc au

series: love was the law

Grace Winchester hasn’t been the same since finding her father, or, her father finding her. Even with him gone again, she flinches at every loud noise, recoils into herself at any innocent touch, and has somehow gotten quieter than she already was. She sits beside her brother at a small table, scrounging for another case to work and monster to kill. Sunlight falls into the diner from every angle, and it catches in her tousled hair somewhat angelically. She’s not paying attention to anything around her, entirely absorbed in the newspaper clippings she has between her fingers. 

“All right, dude, not a decent lead in all of Nebraska.” Dean’s voice is gruff and gravely, but it hardly breaks through the focus Grace has found. “What do you got?” 

“Well, I've been scanning Wyoming, Colorado, cd.   Dakota. Here – A woman in Iowa fell ten thousand feet from an airplane and survived.” Sam read off of his laptop, though even he didn’t sound too enthusiastic about that lead but it's all that he’s been able to come up with since opening his web browser. 

Dean shakes his head, hands clasped together as he abandons his paper for a while. “Sounds more like ‘that’s incredible!’ than the twilight zone.” 

“Yeah.” Sam sighs, and his fingers move against the keypad, evidently beginning a search for something else; something real. Grace stays locked into her newspaper, green eyes scanning the pages intently. 

“Hey, you know, we could just keep heading East – New York, Upstate. Could stop by and see Sarah again. Huh? She’s a cool chick, man. Smokin’.” Dean taunted, his smile broad and jesting. “You two seemed pretty friendly. What do you say?” 

Sam laughed, scratching at his head as he kept his eyes down and on the new webpage he’d pulled up. “Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe someday. But in the meantime, we got a lot of work to do, Dean, and you know that.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Dean sighed acceptingly, turning his head to Grace who hadn’t shared any potential leads, but looked too interested in the paper to have not found something. “What’d you get, Gracie?” 

Both brothers sigh when they realize she’s not even listening to them, and tenderly Sam reaches out to put a hand on the newspaper. His heart breaks when Grace flinches, eyes wide and alert as she looks between Sam and Dean before eventually shrinking into herself and setting the paper down entirely. “Yeah?” She asks softly, not even slightly aware of why they want her attention. 

“Find anything? Sam and I got squat.” Dean asks again, only this time his tone is softer. He hates that for nineteen years, this was the only version of his sister that he’d ever known. He didn’t think she was capable of being any other way, but then she’d come back from Stanford and she’d been situationally bubbly and sharp witted. He hadn’t had the chance to realize that John drained the life from her when they were kids, but he knows now, and he hates that he can’t have everything. He can have John, but then he loses Grace. He can have Grace, but then he’s out of the only parent they have left. What Dean Winchester hates the most, is that he’d trade his father for his sister any day. 

“Oh, um, yeah. Daniel Elkins of Manning, Colorado was found mauled in his home. I know the name, I just can’t figure out from where, but it looks like the cops don’t know what to think. At first they thought it was some kind of bear attack, but now they found signs of a robbery.” Grace explains what she’d found, her voice as quiet as a whisper but she hasn’t been much louder since they’d connected with John. 

Dean rummages through his bag to find John’s journal, the name apparently sounding familiar to him too. Grace watches him intently, not because she’s interested, but because she’s been on edge for days now. “Here. Check it out.” Dean hands the journal to Grace once he’s found something relevant, and the youngest Winchester takes it into her hands with narrowed eyes. 

“It has to be the same Elkins.” Grace mumbles after a beat, looking up at Dean who nods agreeingly. 

“How can you be so sure?” Sam questions, pulling the journal into his own hands and out of his sisters. He misses the way that Grace’s eyes flicker downward with uncertainty, but Dean doesn’t, and he sighs internally. Grace hadn’t questioned her capabilities as a hunter when it had been just them out on their own. The eldest Winchester hates that someone he still needs can ruin everything good in his life just by being around. 

“It’s a Colorado area code.” She explains hesitantly, and Sam’s eyes soften when he realizes that she’d interpreted his genuine confusion as critical doubt. This had been the version of his sister that had shown up on his doorstep over a year ago. This was the version of his sister that he’d left behind without looking back. He doesn’t know how he left her so easily back then; not when he can finally see just how broken down she’d been. He misses the way she rolls her eyes whenever he questions her, and how she used to contribute to their conversations. He’d spent nineteen years not knowing that his baby sister could be somebody entirely different, but now that he knows that, now that he’s seen that version of her and had gotten to love her, he doesn’t want this. He hates this. 

“Alright. Manning, Colorado. Let's go.” Dean threw a crumpled up napkin on the table, beginning to pack away all of the books he’d pulled out from his bag. Sam doesn’t hesitate to follow his action, closing his laptop and reaching for the leather crossbody he refused to wear correctly. Grace grabs the paper she’d been reading, folding it in half before she stood up, waiting by the corner of the table for Sam before she turned to follow Dean. 

He held the door open for Grace, and the youngest Winchester whispered a soft ‘thank you’ as she passed. Dean shook his head, making eye contact with Sam before they followed their sister to the Impala. Daylight was precious and quickly fleeting, so after bags had been thrown into the trunk, all three siblings piled into the car and headed straight toward Colorado.

-

By the time they reached Manning, darkness had fallen over the town. Grace Winchester fought off a yawn as she crawled out of the backseat of the Impala, evidently not having won any measure of rest despite her prolonged silence that left the backseat quiet and still. She stumbled into Sam unintentionally, and her entire body seized with fear instinctively. Her firm-chested brother stepped away from her sadly, wondering what it was going to take to pull her out of her shell again. He hadn’t been much help the first time around. He knew too much, felt too much about her to ever think of intentionally provoking her. Jessica had been the one to breach her bubble of solitude. She’d been the one to drag Grace to parties and study groups. She’d been the one to spend hours in Grace’s room in silence, but eventually that silence became lively conversations that kept Sam awake when he was trying to get rest in before an exam. He might’ve had a little sister for the last twenty years of his life, but he doesn’t know the first thing about girls in general. 

“Gracie.” Dean calls for her quietly as he stands in front of the open trunk. He’s scrounging for weapons, but he has a flashlight already extended toward her. Grace takes it quickly, testing the battery before she nods and steps away, putting unnecessary distance between them. 

Dean throws one at Sam, not as cautious about his brother's reaction as he was about his sisters. If it was two weeks earlier, he would’ve thrown one at Grace without warning her, but it’s not two weeks ago, and his sister isn’t the same as she was then. It’s a realization that keeps hitting the Winchesters like a heavy punch, and each time it crosses their mind is as devastating as the first. 

They creep through the blanket of darkness with precision that only comes with practice. Grace is sandwiched between her brothers, the shift in attitude not enough to derail their routine. She stops behind Dean when they approach the front door of Elkin’s house. Insects chirp from all around her and her skin crawls, but at the very least she takes their presence as a sign of good things. At least it's not eerily quiet. They cross over the threshold with careful footsteps, shining their lights against surfaces in the distance. There isn’t much on show in Elkin’s property, but Grace supposes that fits the script of any hunter that she’s known. They all have a lot of things, but most of those things aren’t sentimental or personal. For a moment, Grace considers what her own home would look like if she ever found a way to have that small privilege. She thinks, at the very least, she’d display all of the childhood pictures they have. 

They creep further into the house until they find what was once Elkin’s study. Grace grimaces at the evident signs of a struggle, the sight unsettling given Daniel Elkin’s capabilities and knowledge. Something had happened here, that much was obvious. 

“Looks like the maid didn’t come today.” Dean commented sarcastically, sweeping his flashlight against the desk to his left. 

Sam peels away from his siblings to kneel by the door, his fingers trailing over whatever was thrown across the floor in a thin layer. Grace trailed farther away, shining her flashlight against the walls in the farthest corner. She craned her head when Sam called out, his voice even but laced with curiosity. “Hey, there’s salt over here, right inside the door.” 

“You mean protection-against-demon salt or ‘oops, I spilled the popcorn’ salt?” Dean didn’t even bother to glance back, too busy rifling through papers that Elkins had scattered around the place. 

“It’s clearly a ring.” Sam mused, brushing off his fingertips before he stood up, shining his light in Dean’s direction. “You think this guy Elkins was a player?” 

“Definitely.” Dean hummed with unmistakable certainty. His younger siblings frowned at his tone of voice and crept closer until they could look over his shoulder at the papers he was flipping to. They weren’t just random papers like Grace had assumed they were, but rather a spiral ring journal that held a striking resemblance to something they all knew. 

“That looks a hell of a lot like Dad’s.” Sam noted, his flashlight shining against the paper, bringing the black ink to light that was otherwise near perfectly concealed by the darkness of midnight. 

“Except this dates back to the ‘60s.” Dean informed his younger siblings of what he’d read on a page toward the front of the journal. There wasn’t time to waste. Whatever attacked Elkins could very well still be in the general area, and with that in mind, Dean grabbed the journal before he backed away from the study, crossing over the salt-lined threshold to find another area of the house. 

All of the other rooms held the same level of physical distress, which had the baby hairs at the nape of Grace’s neck standing up straight. Furniture was broken, glass was shattered, salt was scattered – it wasn’t a good sight, and all three of the Winchesters knew that. 

“Whatever attacked him, looks like there was more than one.” Dean muttered beneath his breath, creeping toward one of the far corners in the room while Sam and Grace crept toward another. “Looks like he put up a hell of a fight, too.” 

“Yeah.” Sam agreed, sounding breathless as he swept his gaze across all of the destruction that had occurred. Grace could remember what their motel room looked like at times when John got too involved in a case, and she couldn’t help but wonder if some of this had been a result of that same all-in dedication. It wasn’t the farthest fetched theory in the world, but it didn’t take away from the obvious struggle, so she kept it to herself. There was no point in sharing if what she had to say didn’t add any value to the case, John had taught her that when she was seven. 

Grace was rummaging through a pile of papers that looked like they could be leads for a case when Sam piped up a few feet behind her, his attention aimed on Dean. “Got something?” He inquired hopefully, and Grace’s head snapped to her brother immediately, her full attention on whatever it was that Dean was looking at. 

“I don’t know. Some scratches on the floor.” Dean mumbled, his fingers ghosting over the scratches that from where Grace was standing, looked to be surrounded by pools of blood. 

“Death throes maybe?” She questioned lightly, and Sam nodded in agreement, looking back at Dean who was already considering the possibility. 

“Maybe.” He agreed, but there was something beneath his eyes that had Grace looking in a different direction. She made a soft sound of understanding when Dean reached for a blank paper on the desk, grabbing a pencil and lowering it to the floorboard. She hadn’t even considered that as a possibility. Maybe she was getting dull, losing that only thing that made her valuable. “Or maybe a message.” Dean’s eyes widened as he pulled the paper away from the floor, the sliver of light that brightened the room falling against it at just the right angle. He held it out to Grace, “Look familiar?” 

The young woman reached for it curiously, familiarity crossing her features within the first handful of seconds. “Three letters, sex digits – the location and combination of a post office box. It’s a mail dorp.” She breathed the realization, her eyes wide as she trailed her gaze to the door. 

“That’s just the way Dad does it.” Dean didn’t think before he said it, but it’s as if he can see every wall his sister has let slip come right back up into place. He sighs with conflict that can’t be resolved right now, dusting off his hands as he makes his way back toward the Impala. Grace followed quickly, her footsteps falling into step with Dean’s unintentionally. Sam’s lips curved slightly at the sight. Their lives had been anything but traditional, but in his sister there was still an innocent little girl. For years she had followed Dean around everywhere, emulating his attitude, mimicking his movements. Their lives might’ve changed, but somewhere within them all were the kids they’d once been. 

-

 Grace stayed in the car when the boys ran in to retrieve whatever had been stashed at the post office box. She hadn't wanted to travel too far from the car in paranoid fear that they’d been tailed to the location, and neither Dean or Sam had been willing to fight her on the subject. It wasn’t really a three person job anyways, but as they rushed back to the Impala with a semi-crumpled envelope in hand, Dean couldn’t help but feel like something was missing; someone. He hopes whatever rut Grace had fallen into would end with time and patience, because he doesn’t know how to lead a hunt when she isn’t behind him keeping him in line. There might’ve been hunts when she was away at Stanford, but even back then he’d missed her. 

The door slammed as the eldest Winchester fell into the driver's seat of the car. Sam was hardly any different, and Grace swore her bones rattled at the force of metal meeting metal ahead of her. “J.W. – You think? John Winchester?” 

“I don’t know. Should we open it?” Dean questioned, his voice gravely with concern, but their attention was short lived as knocking on the window shattered their found sanctuary in the leather detailed car. Grace flinched into the farthest door, her eyes wide as they looked up to meet the reflection of her father. She’d known that they weren’t alone, but her heart still hammers in fear as she sweeps her gaze over the man she’s least expected to show up midway through a hunt. “Dad?” Dean called out, breathing heavily as he pulled away from the window just enough to see out of it clearly. 

John didn’t say anything, instead, he peeled open the back door and slid in right beside Grace on the leather seat. The youngest Winchester tried to remain unbothered, forcing her shoulders to drop and her hands to remain uncurled, but there was no way for her to completely rewire the instinctive reaction that happened whenever her father was close enough to touch. 

“Dad, what are you doing here? Are you all right?” Sam craned his neck to look back at John, but his green eyes found his sister instinctively. Grace was settled as close to the passenger side door as she could get without looking like she was trying to escape her fathers reach, and her shaking hands lay upright on her thighs like she’d been taught all of those years ago. He can still remember the first time John had backhanded her because she’d clenched her fingers into fists when he’d been ragging on her ‘disobedience’ and his heart lurched at the violent memory of blood dripping from her cheek after John’s ring had sliced her skin. He’d do anything to switch places with her, get her out of armshot from John, but he can’t. Instead, he can only hope that their fathers not here to antagonize her further. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” John nodded, keeping his eyes on Sam, not allowing himself to even glance at Grace. The youngest Winchester doesn’t know what to make of the situation, but she knows that it's too early to rest entirely. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d flipped at the drop of a hat with no warning. “Look, I read the news about Daniel. I got here as fast as I could. I saw you two up at his place.”

Dean’s eyes trail to Grace, her insistence that she stay at the car while they went inside making more sense now than it did only moments ago. For once, she’d had a right to be on edge, and he hates that he hadn’t trusted her instincts more, but it was hard to know when her anxiety was trustworthy. She’d spent the better portion of the last week away from John looking over her shoulder without reason. “Why didn’t you come in, Dad?” Sam frowns, pulling Dean’s attention back to the conversation at hand. 

“You know why.” John huffed, his voice even and without any care for the wellbeing of his children. “Because I had to make sure you weren’t followed… by anyone… or anything. Nice job of covering your tracks, by the way.” Grace could scoff at the excuse. They would’ve been safer had he been in there with them, even if she wants nothing to do with him, he was the one that taught them that there was safety in numbers, and yet he’s always the first to be missing from a fight. 

“Ah, that was Gracie.” Dean shook his head, knowing he’d caught John in a trap. He wouldn’t take back what he’d said, no he was far too interested in keeping his pride intact to backtrack on his words so obviously, but the sour grimace that crossed his expression said everything that he wouldn’t. Had he known that Grace was the one to cover their tracks initially, he never would’ve praised her efforts, but he’d already done it, and for once Grace Winchester was getting validation for her efforts, even if it was muddled by the disgusted expression that fell upon their fathers browline. 

Unconsciously Grace pulled at the seam line in her black leggings, her bottom lip caught between her teeth tightly as she tried not to focus on how her father was so close she could feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. “Knock it off, girl.” John snapped when he became aware of the anxious movements his daughter was making to his left. The young woman, who still hadn’t even celebrated her twenty-first birthday and was really only a kid pretending to understand an adult world, stiffened at the reprimand, stilling her fingers on her thighs and straightening out her posture. 

“Wait, so you came all the way out here for this Elkins guy?” Sam frowned, and all three siblings bristled at the realization that they would never be enough for their father on their own. Something else always came before them, whether it was a hunt, or apparently a fallen friend. It shouldn’t sting anymore, they should be used to it, but Grace’s eyes still flickered to her lap in a moment of weakness. 

“Yeah.” John sighed, but there was no ounce of apology in his whispered words. “He was – he was a good man. He taught me a hell of a lot about hunting.” 

Grace frowned at that, knowing that most everyone John crossed paths with was brought up in some capacity. Whatever John learned, they learned to, and Daniel Elkins was not someone that Grace remembered from passing conversation. “You didn’t tell us about him.” Not everything had gone back to the way that it had been, because if it did, Grace never would’ve opened her mouth at all, let alone to question John’s relationship with another hunter. 

“I don’t gotta tell you shit, girl.” John’s eyes were ablaze with anger as he snapped his gaze toward his youngest child, and Grace didn’t hesitate to push herself closer to the door, her eyes wide as she stared back at her father whose short temper hadn’t gotten any better since she’d left home. “You better watch who you're talking back to. You got that?” He seethed, leaning closer until his breath fanned across her face and she was effectively pinned between the car door and his body. She wouldn’t be able to bail before his hands caught the fabric of her shirt, but her hand reached for the handle regardless. 

She nodded frantically, her breath hitching when his hand shot out to grab the fabric of her top. He pulled her closer, close enough to tell that he’d definitely had a drink sometime recently if the stench of beer on his breath was any indication of his alcoholic habits. “I said. You got that?” 

“Yes sir.” She forced the words off of her lips, hating how they felt like a mouthful of dry sand, but evidently that was enough to break through some of the anger that clouded his eyes with something dark and unwelcoming. He didn’t release the tight grip he had on her shirt however, and nervously Grace glanced down at the crumbled fabric that was one sharp tug away from tearing. 

“Dad, hey–” Dean called for John’s attention, and suddenly that anger melted away into something else, his gaze softening once it fell upon his boys. He shoved Grace away from him with more strength than what was necessary, and the young woman's head thumped against the window from the unexpected force of her fathers hand shoving her backward. She winced, but pursed her lips together to stop the audible pain from passing into the air and giving him another reason to put his hands on her. She was getting restless, anxious, her eyes were darting between all three men in the car, and whether she noticed or not, tears blurred in her waterline as her breathing hitched to something familiar and worrisome. “What happened with Elkins? Why did you never mention him?”

“We had a– we had kind of a falling out. I hadn’t seen him in years.” John’s voice softens, his eyes only on Dean as he speaks. Grace hates that even after years, he can’t even look at her without inflicting harm and pain. She doesn’t know what happened between them, can remember sparing moments when he hadn’t been horrible, but that was as far gone as Mary Winchester. It was like one day, he’d suddenly realized he hated her and had never tried to reframe his way of thinking. Even if she hated him, wanted nothing to do with him, it hurt to know that the only parent she has left doesn’t love her the way he was supposed to. “I should look at that.” He nods toward the envelope in Dean’s hand, and the eldest child doesn’t hesitate to hand it back to him. 

John peeled the envelope open carefully, unfolding the paper with a level of cation that he’d never applied to his own flesh and blood. With his gruff hands occupied, Grace raised her own to the collar of her shift, rubbing against the wrinkled fabric and where the neckline of her shirt had rubbed against sensitive skin harshly. She’d almost forgotten what it felt like to have fabric burns on her body, but as she presses her fingers over the reddened and irritated skin, every memory comes rushing back to her at once. “‘If you’re reading this, I’m already dead.’ That son of a bitch.” 

Dean’s eyebrows furrow, and Sam leans closer to the backseat, curiosity evident in his own green eyes. “What is it?” He questioned carefully. John had never treated him the way he’d been quick to treat Grace, but he’d taken his anger toward them out on her, and so the middle Winchester acted with caution. 

“He had it the whole time.” John shook his head, but that didn’t give any of his children anymore insight. 

“Dad, what?” Sam asked again, and Grace was already sick of them having to ask the same questions multiple times just to get some semblance of a straight answer from him. She doesn’t know why he still treats them like they’re not good enough to be involved in the hunts that he’s chasing, but with every passing second it gets on her nerves more and more. He was the one that dragged them into this life unapologetically. He was the one that had sent them coordinates and essentially led them on a wild goose chase, and yet he’s the one that keeps that an arms length away whenever they're together. 

“When you searched the place, did you see a gun–” 

Grace’s posture straightens even more, and despite everything she’s come to learn about avoiding John’s anger, she finds herself speaking up, filling in the blanks of his sentence the same way she’d fill in Dean’s. “An antique colt revolver?”

John’s gaze snapped to her, his hard eyes filled with anger and violent passion, but he didn’t comment immediately. Instead, he inclined his head, demanding more than what she’d already given; giving her permission to say more. “The gun wasn’t there, but the case was.” 

“For the love of god, girl!” He bellowed in frustration, and within seconds his hand was jutting out to make contact with her face. Grace squeaked when the stinging pain registered in her mind, her fathers handprint warm and throbbing against her cheek, but she didn’t recoil into herself like she wanted to. That would only fuel his anger more, and it seemed like in the years since she’d run away, he’d lost any kind of handle on it at all. 

“Dad, what the hell!” Sam yelled, his eyes looking straight at Grace who only shrugged off his concern. Dean’s nostrils flared with anger, his jaw locked with a protectiveness Grace remembers being more controlled, but he didn’t comment, didn't want to test the theory that John would still punish her further if they intervened in any way. They weren’t children anymore, him especially, but somehow he thinks John will always treat them like they are. 

“They have it.” John didn’t even bristle beneath the heated glares his sons were throwing at him, and realizing that harboring any ill feelings wasn’t going to get them anywhere tonight, Dean drew in a deep breath, trying to push the protective anger out from his rough exterior. 

“You mean whatever killed Elkins?” He asked calmly, but his eyes stayed on Grace, not unaware of how she was falling into a panic attack the longer John sat beside her. Her eyes that had once been so clear and green were glazed over with a dark fear that sent a chill down his spine. He still needed his father, still needed advice and direction, but he’d spend the rest of his life lingering in feelings of uncertainty if it meant keeping her safe and unharmed. 

“We got to pick up their trail.” John’s eyes flashed with urgency, and before any of the siblings could unpack the use of ‘we’ in his sentence, he was climbing out of the backseat and into the cold Colorado air. The youngest Winchester let out a sigh of relief she hadn’t even realized was collecting in her chest, deflating into the passenger side door as she finally brought her hand up to hold where her father had struck her. The skin throbbed and burned beneath her touch, and without even seeing the damage that had been done, she knew her eye would bruise from how his fingers brushed right beneath her waterline. Her lip quivers in an automatic response, but she refuses to cry in front of him – refuses to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d just broken yet another piece of her slowly dying heart. 

“Wait.” Sam called through the open window, both him and Dean leaning toward it. “You want us to come with you?” 

“If Elkins is telling the truth, we’ve got to find this gun.” John sighed, leaning into the window so that he could see both of his sons; the only two people he even cared about just slightly. Grace was just another box to check, or at least, that’s how she felt a majority of the time as she sat in her brother's shadows. It was hardly fair. John expected perfection from her, and yet he never gave her an ounce of what he did her brothers. The odds were always stacked against her, but somehow she’d survived this long. That had to count for something. 

“The gun? Why?” Sam continued to press for information, for a reason to put his life on this line for just another weapon, but John refused to give into the valid questioning. 

“Because it’s important, that’s why.” John argued, but for once, Sam wasn’t backing down to his bullshit excuses. If Grace wasn’t terrified of being dragged out of the car and beaten into a bloody pulp on the gravel road, maybe she would’ve said something too, but the sting against her cheek kept her firmly where she already was. 

“Dad, we don’t even know what these things are yet.” Sam tried to make their hesitancy known, but John was never the kind of man to take excuses of any kind. He’d give them just enough information to assure they weren’t going in completely blind, but nothing entirely helpful. Grace thought it must be some kind of sick game to him. There was no other explanation for his secrecy. 

“They were what Danny Elkins killed best… vampires.” All three siblings visibly recoiled at their fathers words, a combination of shock and fear filling their eyes as they craned their heads to look at their father. 

Dean’s eyes widened considerably, his gaze set on John firmly. “Vampires? I thought there was no such thing.” 

“You never even mentioned them, Dad.” 

“I thought they were extinct. I thought Elkins and others had wiped them out.” John hangs his head for a second, accepting his son's disbelief and concern. Grace doesn’t even want to consider what John’s reaction would’ve been if she’d been the one to question him on this. “I was wrong.”

Grace sighed quietly to herself as she sank deeper into the backseat of the Impala, itching to grab the blanket that was crumpled into a ball on the floor, but fighting against it. Instead, she listened to John prattle on about everything that he knew about vampires, her brothers giving him the same attention. “Most vampire lore is crap. A cross won’t repel them. Sunlight won’t kill them and neither will a stake to the heart. But the bloodlust – that part’s true. They need fresh human blood to survive. They were once people, so you won’t know it’s a vampire until it’s too late.” 

He didn’t say anything else other than that he’d tail them to the motel they’d scouted out a few miles West. The thought of him spending the night with them in a cramped motel room made her skin crawl, but there was no getting out of this. This is what Dean pulled them away from Stanford to do – find John – but Grace hadn’t realized just how much she’d begin to sacrifice just to see through these endless hunts. When he was far enough away to no longer hear the way that rocks and leaves crunched beneath his boots, Dean rolled the window up, starting the car with evident irritation in his posture. 

He didn’t pull away from the post office immediately, instead he turned toward the backseat, ushering Grace to come into view where the lights shone brightly over the center console. “Come here, Gracie. Let me see you.” 

“I’m fine, D.” The youngest of the trio whispered, tears still prickling her eyes as she cradled her cheek protectively. She sounded small, scared, and Dean hated that this was his fault. He dragged her back into this, he brought her into the search for John. Even if he hadn’t been the one to strike her, it felt like he did as he sat with the guilt of being the reason she’s here at all. 

“Gracie, let me see.” He insisted, reaching out for her. He hates that she flinches, hates that her eyes that aren’t so soft anymore pinch together in fear of another strike, but eventually she caves, leaning closer until her face is illuminated by the glow of the lights inside of the car. “He got you good, huh?” His thumb strokes across the visible mark of where his fathers palm had clapped against her soft skin, and Grace sucks in a breath between clenched teeth at the sting that comes forward with the continuous prodding and poking. 

“When doesn’t he.” Grace hummed humorlessly, and both of her brothers seem to deflate at the reminder that she’s used to this. They know that she is, know that she can handle constant pain and soreness, but that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow when they’re essentially helpless in the situation. “I’m fine, Dean. Nothing that hasn’t happened before.” 

Dean, for once in his life, doesn’t see John as being his entire world, and softly he tries to make that known to both of his siblings, but more so Grace who seems to only be holding on by a thread. “I can tell him to get lost–” 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Grace huffs, pulling away from his touch to slouch against the backseat. Dean wants to say that she’s handling this well, that she’s coming back out of her shell now that John’s no longer in sight, but he knows that it's only the adrenaline of having to be on her a-game that’s fueling this conversation right now. He knows that the second they pull away from this gravel road, she’ll become nothing more than a shadow of herself as she tries to keep everything that wants to come falling out inside. “Just… don’t try to get between us if something happens, okay? It’s not worth it.”  

“I sat there and did nothing for nineteen years–” 

“Yeah, because the one time you did say something, he held a machete to my throat and said he’d kill me!” Grace snapped, tears falling down her face as she finally broke. “This is not about you, Dean! This isn’t about either of you! It’s about me! About how he hates me so much that he’d rather threaten to kill me than apologize for hitting me so hard he fractured my ribs! You wanted him back, well guess what, here he is. Now can we please stop acting like this isn’t normal. Like you didn’t know this is exactly what would happen when you showed up at Stanford asking for help finding him!” 

“Gracie, I didn’t–”

“Yes, you did. Don’t even try to say you didn’t think this would happen again. It’s fine, Dean. Can you just drive, please? Before he comes out here again.” Grace melted into the leather seats beneath her weight, her arms crossed over her chest as she let her tears fall silently, not possessing the energy it would take to shut out her overwhelming emotions entirely. Sam sank into the passenger seat with a sigh, his eyes trailing to Dean who held the wheel tightly, tears glimmering in his own green eyes. Truth is, he did know this would happen, at least some buried part of him did. He’d been hopeful that things wouldn’t end up like this though; been hopeful that for once he could just have his family together without violence. He was stupid to think that grudges and anger would be so easily overcome, and he hates that he pulled Grace away from something good just for her to end up where she’d started. 

The engine revs as he pulls away from the post office, tension thick in the car as neither of the siblings say anything else, nobody knowing what to say. 

-

Despite the motel that they’d rented a room at, Grace hadn’t gotten so much as a wink of sleep in the hours that had elapsed from night to early morning. She couldn’t rest knowing that her father sat only a few inches away from the end of the bed that she shared with Sam, and she knows that he knows that despite doing her best to act like she wasn’t wide awake with her eyes closed. She shifts slightly beneath the heavy blankets, curling her hands into fists beneath the pillow as she hears the faint static of the police scanner hum to life and him grab his jacket that had been thrown against the chair he pulled away from the table. She barely keeps her body from flinching when his hand bats at her ankle that's beneath the covers, apparently mistaking her body for Sam’s as he calls for her brothers to get up. 

“Sam, Dean, let’s go.” He demands, but all her brothers do is groan in response as they try to cling onto sleep. Grace doesn’t have the same privilege, and quickly she slips out of bed, putting her sock-covered feet into the tennis shoes she’s had for nearly two years. Her heart hammers in her chest when she remembers how Jessica had skipped an entire day of classes near finals just to drag her to the mall and take advantage of all the year-end sales that were going on. It had been so long ago now that the laces that were once a shade of pink, were now muddied and twinged brown. Grace would do anything to go back to a time when she could tell that they were pink. “Picked up a police call.” 

“What happened?” Sam questioned, his voice filled with exhaustion as he peered up at John. Instinctively his hand reached out to feel Grace beside her, and when he came up with only warm sheets, he sat up fully, searching for her until he found her beside the nightstand separating the two beds, reaching for one of Dean’s jackets that she’d stolen weeks ago. 

“A couple called 911. They found a body in the street. Cops got there. Everyone was missing. It’s the vampires.” John explained gruffly, his gaze trailing to Grace when her realized that she was the only one ready to go. His posture stiffened, his eyes hardened and every last piece of Grace’s heart nearly broke as she watched him throw daggers at her. She would never be able to please him, but a small part of her still tries to show up her brothers hoping for scraps of his validation.  

“How do you know?” Sam questioned, finally throwing his feet over the side of the bed, meanwhile Dean still hadn’t moved an inch, his sleep-filled eyes riddled with conflicting emotions. 

“Just follow me, okay?” John huffed, already heading towards the door. Dean groaned, swinging his legs off of the bed and standing up finally. Grace didn’t avoid his quick glance intentionally, but it still cuts Dean as he sighs to himself. 

“Vampires.” He tries to downplay his obvious hurt, chuckling beneath his breath as he stuffed his bag full without any rhyme or reason. “It’s funnier every time I hear it.”

Grace and Sam rolled their eyes, both throwing their duffles over their shoulder and heading toward the door. Grace’s cheek wasn’t as inflamed as it had  been the night prior, but beneath her eyes was a purplish bruise that ached deep in her bones. Sam grimaced as the light caught on the undertone of yellow in the wounded flesh, and comfortingly he slung as arm over her shoulder once they passed through the threshold of the motel room. 

“Get any sleep last night?” He asked her softly, aiming his words for her alone to hear and take in. 

Grace sighed, shrugging his arm off of her and stepping the slightest inch ahead of him, creating distance that only isolated her breaking heart further. Regardless, she looked over her shoulder, a smirk of indifference resting against her bitten lips. “Nope.” She threw her ponytail over her shoulder as she continued toward Baby, not willing to let her father read any kind of emotion in her appearance. 

Sam sighed, craning his head to look at Dean when he finally emerged from the hotel room. “She’s gonna be fine, right?” It felt like a cheap question, one that undermined the severity of Grace’s experience with John, but Sam was desperate to hold out hope for his little sister bouncing back the second they could cut ties with John… if they ever cut ties with John. 

“This time Sammy… I don’t know.” Dean admitted with a reluctant sigh, hanging his head as he stepped forward, leaving Sam to follow after both of his siblings who were beginning to lose themselves into the roles that John Winchester had demanded they play over a decade ago. The soldier and the shadow. Sam knew exactly where he fit into that, and nausea pooled in his stomach at the thought of ever falling into the mold that John Winchester had crafted for him. 

-

“I don’t see why we couldn’t have gone over with him.” Sam rolled his eyes as he leaned his weight against the Impala, watching their father stalk back across the dirt road after what looked like a hostile chat with the town's local officers. Grace wasn’t all that bothered by essentially being benched from the game, but she stood at full attention beside the hood regardless of her personal feelings. It didn’t matter what she wanted, only that she was perfect and quiet. 

“Oh, don’t tell me it’s already starting.” Dean rolled his eyes in the same exasperation that Sam felt, turning his back to the crime scene as he addressed his little brother and willed his gaze not to trail to Grace who still hadn’t uttered as much as a word to him; not that she’d even said more than five words since climbing into the backseat of the Impala. 

Sam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, both hands stuffed into his pockets as he looked at Dean. “What’s starting?” 

Grace rolled her eyes with a silent huff of annoyance, knowing exactly what Dean was referencing even if Sam was otherwise clueless. Neither sibling had time to fill their brother in though, stiffening their shoulders as John approached with his hands shoved into his pockets despite how he’d always reprimanded Grace when she was trying to seek warmth in the biting cold. She can still remember how he’d sliced at the seams of her coat pockets with an army knife when she was eight, rambling on about how he’d cut her hands off if she was just going to waste their usefulness to him. He’d shoved a shotgun at her seconds later, and she could grimace at the memory of being forced to shoot her first spirit with frozen and trembling fingers. 

“What do you got?” Dean questioned, stepping just slightly in front of Grace when he turned back around to face John. It wouldn’t do much if he tried to step toward her, but it was something at the very least. 

“It was them all right. It looks like they’re heading west. We have to double back to get around that detour.” John didn’t beat around the bush, but like always, didn’t give his children anything of value to hold onto and make their own conclusions about. Grace dug her toe into the dirt, not taking her eyes off of John as she listened to more of his bullshit with an expression of neutrality. 

Sam frowned, tilting his head to the side as he tried to unmake John’s reserve. “How can you be so sure?” He pushed, not willing to back down on getting the specifics. Grace was glad at least one of them had the gall to question him, because it certainly wasn’t going to be her, but she couldn’t help but think this was only making the situation worse for them as his questions started to chip away at John’s willingness to be civil. 

“Sam–” Dean sighed, trying to stop a fight from brewing so soon, but before he could try and disarm his younger brother’s irritation, Sam was raising his voice to be heard over the interruption. It seemed that both of their brothers didn’t know how to act around their father, but she didn’t either, so the insult that was forming at the tip of her tongue stayed unmoving and half-formed and she kept herself a silent observer to the chaos. “I just want to know we’re going in the right direction.” He clapped back at Dean and not so subtly made a dig at John, something that definitely would’ve gotten Grace into hot water with their old man. She’s surprised he hasn’t called her out for something already, but she doesn’t think he’s stupid enough to get on her case with the police just a few feet away. For now, she’s safe. 

John, surprisingly, didn’t bristle beneath Sam’s weak interrogation, but a quirk in the corners of his lips told Grace all that she needed to know. He thought this was funny; though dragging them around in the dark was some kind of power move. Over a year later and he really hadn’t changed all that much, if he did at all. “We are.” He assured in an unreasonably condescending tone, and thankfully, Sam wasn’t quick to take the bait of his reassurances. Grace couldn’t stand the slowly rising tempers, or more specifically feared the consequences of rising tempers, but a small part of her was glad that somebody was finally trying to stand their ground to John Winchester.

“How do you know?” Sam fired back, his eyes hard and slitted into thin lines that didn’t hold as much malice as he thought they did. 

“I found this.” John sighed, pulling his hands out of his pockets to hand Dean what looked to be a fang. Even though she still stood behind Dean, the glimmery of something white caught in the corner of her eye, and she knew enough about the case to make an educated assumption of what had her father so certain of where their next destination should be. 

“It’s a vampire fang.” Dean frowned, looking down at the tooth that was pinched between his thumb and forefinger. 

“No fangs – teeth. The second set descends when they attack.” Grace took the words in carefully, slightly disturbed by the mental image of an entire set of teeth emerging from what was once a human's gums that second they attacked their chosen victim. She’d been in this life a long time, had grown a thick stomach to a lot of things, but that mental image was beyond what she could stomach so early in the day. “Any more questions?” He directed his gaze to Sam, who looked to the ground in defeated annoyance but didn’t say anything else, letting his silence speak for itself. 

“Let’s get out of here. We’re losing daylight.” John took control like he always did, and Grace was the first to follow that order. She shuffled to the car door quickly, placing her hand on the silver handle as John walked back toward his truck. “And, Dean, why don’t you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn’t have given you the damn thing if I thought you were gonna ruin it.” 

Grace couldn’t help but roll her eyes, wondering where her father got the nerve to think so highly of himself and so horribly of them. She didn’t say anything in Dean’s defence, but when John had his back to them, still stalking toward his truck without even inquiring to gauge Dean’s reaction to his criticism, she looked toward her eldest brother with a grimace of sympathetic understanding, silently clearing the air that had grown tense and cold between them. Dean hadn’t done a lot of things right leading up to this moment, but at the end of the day he was still beneath their fathers thumb just like she was. 

Sam, however, smirked in amusement, not quite realizing the true sentiment of John’s words and what they were armed with. He never had understood how the petty digs cut the deepest for his overlooked siblings, but Grace was simply glad that he’d never learned to question his worth based on materialistic accomplishments. She’d deal with his crooked smirk if it meant sparing him the pain of coming to terms with how you're not good enough for the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally without something to show for it. 

John pulled out around them, his engine revving as he pulled off onto the road. Sam was on his tail within seconds, one hand resting on the wheel as the other fell beside him. This wasn’t like old times, that much rang true, but Grace couldn’t decide if it was any better than their childhood had been when they weren’t even talking to each other like they used to. She wanted to talk to them, wanted to just be with them, but the paralyzing fear of it somehow getting back to John kept her silent and anxious in the backseat – the perfect little shadow. 

The car was silent for a while before Dean piped up from the passenger seat. “Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent out to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest, where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks. I wonder if that’s what happened to that 911 couple.” 

“That’s probably what Dad’s thinking.” Sam hummed critically. “Of course, it would be nice if he just told us what he thinks.” 

“So it is starting.” Dean craned his head to look at Sam, his eyebrows raised in recognition. 

“What?” Sam looked back at him, his jaw clenched as he flickered his gaze between the road and Dean’s exasperated expression.

“Sam, we’ve been looking for Dad all year. Now we’re not with him for more than a couple of hours and there’s static already.” Dean didn’t comment on the silence falling off of their sister, but nobody was going to breach that conversation when this was how it had always been. Sam considers himself lucky to have gotten to know who Grace is without John’s influence in any capacity. 

“No.” Sam denied, “Look, I’m happy he’s okay, all right, and I’m happy that we’re all working together.” He admits, his words hanging heavily in the air before Dean ruins the stretched thin silence with a petulant mumble of ‘good’ beneath his breath. Grace shifts uncomfortably in the backseat, knowing that Sam’s words are only true to an extent, but she’s still unable to shake the uncomfortable weight of knowing that her brothers are enjoying this time spent with John in any capacity no matter how small. She hates that she can’t enjoy it too, hates that she’s so filled with fear she never fully leaves fight-or-flight mode. She’d love to sit here and say that in moments where things are good, or at least tolerable, she’s happy to be a family again, but that’s not the truth for her, and it never has been. She’d be perfectly fine never seeing John Winchester again and the weight of that breaks her heart for the little girl inside of her that worshiped the ground he walked. “It’s just the way he treats us like we’re children. He barks orders at us, Dean. He expects us to follow him without question. He keeps us on some crap need-to-know deal.” 

“He does what he does for a reason.” Dean defends their father like he always does because at the end of the day, it’s the only way he knows how to keep them all safe. Grace’s heart hurts for herself, but it hurts for her older brother who has always had to carry the responsibility of making sure they all come out the other side alive and relatively unscathed. She knows how much he’s sacrificed for them, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to inflict the most unimaginable pain on him when he gets into the mode of ‘Daddy’s Soldier’. Two things can be true at once, Grace knows that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. 

“What reason?” Sam scoffs. 

“Our job! There’s no time to argue. There’s no margin for error, alright? It’s just the way the old man runs things.” Dean’s correct to an extent, but so is Sam, and Grace can see both sides of the battlefield as she lingers on the sidelines. She hates these fights, hates when neither of her brothers' sides are the right one to pick. Dean’s an extremist, but Sam’s too eager to find defiance. John Winchester is a horrible person, but at the end of the day he taught them everything they know, and he does know a thing or two that they haven’t ever needed to consider. 

“Yeah, well, maybe that worked when we were kids, but not anymore, alright?” Sam shook his head, his voice softening as he kept his gaze bouncing between Dean and the road ahead of them. “Not after everything we’ve been through, Dean. I mean, are you telling me you’re cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show?” 

“If that’s what it takes.” He admits, and even if Grace knew that he’d say that, it still hurts her to think that he considers her being slapped for something out of her control as ‘what it takes’ to complete a hunt. 

-

There hadn’t been much discussed between the siblings in the hours that had elapsed since the sun was positioned in the sky to when it had fallen beneath the trees to touch down on another piece of land somewhere far and hopefully less haunted by evil. But the silence that was becoming normal was abruptly dismantled by Dean’s phone ringing in his jacket pocket. Grace didn’t have to crane her neck to look at the caller ID to know that it was John, and with evident disinterest she sank further down in the backseat, listening to Dean’s end of the conversation. 

It was short, but her head perked up as he nodded in the passenger seat. “Yeah, Dad. Alright, got it.” He pulled the phone away from his ear, flipping it closed before he turned his head to Sam. “Pull off the next exit.” 

“Why?” Sam questioned, and this time Grace couldn’t help but sigh out loud as she let her head hit the window. 

“Cause Dad thinks we got the vampires trail.” Dean filled in the blanks, but there wasn’t really much information in the explanation. Grace understood the frustration Sam felt, but she was getting real tired of his sour attitude toward them both. 

“How?” There was a venom in Sam’s tone that Grace didn’t think Dean was blind to, but rather didn’t feel the need to play into anymore. 

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.” Dean shrugged, and Sam’s jaws locked as he revved the engine, speeding around the truck and jerking the wheel until both cars were stopped in the dead center of the road. Grace sighed, sinking further down into the seat as Sam charged out of the car seething with frustration that he couldn’t suffer through anymore. “Oh, crap. Here we go.” 

The car jerked with the force of her brothers slamming the door seconds after one another, and despite every instinct telling her to stay in the car, to let them hash this out on their own, she couldn’t just leave them to face their father without her, so she stepped out of the car seconds later, ensuring that distance was kept between her and John. 

“What the hell was that?!” John came storming out of the truck, his nostrils flared and chin raised as he stomped his way toward Sam who didn’t back down at the show of confidence. 

“We need to talk.” The middle-child seethed, his chin raised all the same as Johns. 

“About what?” John spit, his eyes filled with a fire that was usually directed toward Grace. The youngest Winchester took a step back instinctively, stumbling into the Impala with a near soundless thud. Dean reached out tentatively, pulling her closer by her elbow if only to offer the smallest semblance of comfort. It didn’t do much to settle Grace’s nerves, but she appreciated the sentiment of it regardless. 

“About everything.” Sam’s voice was filled with fury, and Grace can’t think of a time when she’d heard him so beyond mad. She’s always hated conflict, but there’s something about seeing her calm, always level-headed brother so worked up that has her reeling for something to ground herself to. “Where are we going, Dad? What’s the big deal about this gun?” 

“Sammy come on, we can Q&A after we kill all the vampires.” Dean stepped forward, his breath fanning across the air as it dawned on Grace how truly cold it was. The mountains didn’t care about seasons, and the near frozen temperatures only showed that fact. 

“Your brother’s right. We don’t have time for this.” 

“Last time we saw you, you said it was too dangerous to be together. Now, out of the blue, you need our help. Now obviously something big’s going down, and we want to know what!” Sam was seething with anger, his jaw clenched and every muscle in his body rigid as he refused to back down. Grace shifted on her feet, inching closer to the chaos despite every instinct in her body telling her to stay away and keep distance between herself and her fathers fists. 

“Get back in the car.” John demanded, nodding toward the Impala. 

“No.” 

“I said get back in the damn car.” John stepped closer to Sam. Maybe it was seeing her brother in the position that she’d always been in, or maybe it was just finally her breaking point. Whatever the reason, Grace found herself pushing past Dean, pulling at Sam’s arm until she could position herself between her father and her brother. 

“He said no.” She growled, adrenaline rushing through her body as her fingertips buzzed with a sudden energy she hadn’t possessed before, or ever. “You cannot keep doing this! You cannot keep treating us like children and expecting us to act like soldiers! We’re not soldiers, Dad! We’re grown adults! Adults that are only here to help you! So why don’t you get your head out of your ass for one fucking minute to tell us what the hell is going on?!” Grace flinched when John’s hand came hurtling toward her already bruised face, but in a moment of confidence, or maybe stupidity, she caught his wrist between her ice cold finger tips, her hard eyes narrowed into thin daggers that looked a lot like his. “I am not a child that you can manipulate and abuse. Not anymore.” 

Grace doesn’t know when his wrist slipped from between her fingers, but she recognizes the sting of pain before she even realizes he’s reeled back to hit her again. Her nose pulses with every beat of her racing heart in her chest, and a trail of something warm and thick dirties her upper lips. She doesn’t have to wipe at her nose to know that it’s blood, and even though every part of her wants to fall to her knees and cry about how she’s back in this position when she’d promised herself the night she ran away that she’d never come back to this, she doesn’t so much as bristle as the breeze trails past her damp face. 

“I’ve had enough of your damn mouth.” John seethed, stepping forward to strike her again as Grace becomes increasingly aware of Dean’s raised voice beside her; the ringing between her ears finally dwindled down to silence as the shock of his previous blow ebbs away. 

“That’s enough! That’s enough, Gracie.” He pulls her back by the loose fabric of his jacket around her torso, but before she can shrug his hands off of her and step up to John again, the satisfaction of finally standing up for herself an addictive sensation, Dean is slotting his body between them, his shoulders squared and rigid. “That goes for you too. And I swear, if you ever put your fucking hands on her again, it won’t be her that fights back. You hear me? Do you hear me!” He raises his voice, but John doesn’t answer. All he does is scoff and shake his head, already making his way back to the truck. 

Grace huffs, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand. She barely flinches at the blood that smears across her palm and the sleeve of Dean’s jacket, retreating back to the car with pent up anger weighing her down. She slams the door behind her, grumbling beneath her breath as she leans between the seats and sets her eyes on Sam. 

“Set my nose.” She demands gruffly, her eyes glazed over with residual anger and stinging pain. She’s not fully here with them, that much Sam can tell as he searches for glimpses of sweet green in her dark eyes. He doesn’t know how to handle the situation when he’s never seen her so… Sam doesn’t even have a word to describe Grace’s attitude at the moment, but it scares him to no end to consider how after an entire lifetime of abuse, tonight was her breaking point. Pride ripples off of his shoulders – pride in her, pride in himself – but he’s otherwise frozen as he looks at the young woman who bears no resemblance to his little sister at this moment. “Sam, set my fucking nose!” 

“Come here.” Dean’s voice is gruff as it washes across his two younger siblings, and Grace snaps her gaze toward him instantaneously out of learned instinct. She hadn’t heard him get in the car, hadn’t registered the door slamming shut or his presence in the slightest, but as the seconds pass her by and the engine in the truck revs beside them, she’s beginning to fall away from the front of disassociation that had tried to save her active mind from the trauma of confronting the man who scares her more than any monster or spirit ever could. She leans her head into Dean’s hands, already knowing what lies ahead of her as she pinches her eyes shut and nods her head in acceptance of the pain that’s to come. Dean doesn’t give her a countdown, but he feels around her nose for a couple of seconds before he’s gripping both sides of it and straightening it out. She groans, recoiling backward instinctively as another stream of blood falls above her lip. “You okay?” 

“Peachy.” Grace huffs, but as Sam straightens out the car and lets John pull out in front of them on the road again, she deflates entirely, suddenly feeling the weight of her exhaustion as she rubs at her swollen eyes. “You stuck up for me.” She muses softly, pulling at the tips of her fingers with anxious uncertainty, the invincibility that had washed over her when adrenaline was coursing through her veins slowly dissipating the longer she sat with the memory of recent events playing like a highlight reel in her head. 

Dean scoffed out a breath, but he nodded his head regardless after a handful of seconds passed by. “Yeah, yeah.” He shrugs her comment off, but her eyes are burning holes into his shoulder, and he can’t avoid the conversation despite how he wants to. Dean Winchester had never been good at emotional displays, but Grace very rarely gave him the choice of backing away from them. “I meant what I said Gracie, I did think this time would be different. The way he talked about the both of you when you were at Stanford – I just thought he’d at least try to turn a new leaf. Can we cut the chick-flick shit?” 

“No, because I am a chick. That rule only applies to Sammy and you know it.” The youngest Winchester huffed, uncrossing her arms only to drop them at her sides like they weighed too much for her to carry. “You know that wasn’t the first time he broke my nose?” 

For once, Dean didn’t try to shut down the conversation. For once, all he did was try his best to actually listen to Grace as she opened up her heart to him. He craned his head to peer into the backseat, comforted by the sight of her sprawled against the leather seats. She hadn’t sat like that in weeks, she’d been keeping herself closed off and small, but a piece of Dean’s heart heals as he keeps his eyes on her now. 

“I don’t remember him ever breaking your nose before.” Sam frowned, evidently paying more attention to the conversation than either Grace or Dean had first thought. Frustration and anger was still rolling off of his shoulder in waves, but he’d always been good at keeping his feelings away from Grace. Even if she wasn’t aware, she had been both of her brother's soft spots for as long as they could remember. 

“Because you weren’t there.” Grace says softly, her eyes saddened and brimming with tears. “Whenever Dad took me on hunts… they were never as long as he told you they were. Sometimes we’d be gone a week, but the hunt itself would only take two or three days. One time–” Grace looks down, her hands beginning to tremble at the memory that plays at the forefront of her mind like it had been burned there by someone sadistic and cruel. “One time, when I had the flu, he took me out to South Dakota to kill some pissed off spirit. Shit went wrong, and he just– he just flipped; finished the hunt himself and dragged me back to Bobby’s. He must’ve hit me a few hundred times. That was when he was the worst. When he didn’t have to worry about you asking questions, when he didn’t have anyone there to stop him. At, uh, at one point he punched me so hard that I fell over, and then he just kept kicking me. I don’t remember much honestly. It’s like… glimpses, flashes. All I really remember is that he kept throwing rocks at me, telling me to get up, yelling at me to get up. I tried, but I couldn’t and I puked all over myself. That pissed him off even more, he grabbed me by my shirt, pulled me up to my feet. He, uh, he had his hand around my neck. It was one of the first times he said he’d kill me and I actually believed him. If Bobby hadn’t gotten back from his own hunt, I really think he would’ve killed me that night.” Grace, despite herself, smiles sadly at the memory. She can’t look up at her brothers. She doesn’t want to know what they look like. But, she’s not done. Somehow, there’s more to the story that isn’t really a story at all. It’s her life. The tragic and twisted existence of Grace Campbell Winchester. “Bobby brought me inside. I didn’t think anything was broken, I tried to tell him that, but he wouldn’t leave it alone. I’ve never seen Bobby so scared, so terrified for anyone. The way he looked at me… I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. He looked at me like one wrong move would be enough to finish what Dad didn’t. He set my nose back in place, but I can’t even remember how Dad broke it. If it was his fist or his foot or one of the rocks he threw, I– I don’t know. I just know that I stayed with Bobby for a couple of days after that. Dad went off to do another hunt, or I don’t know, maybe he just got wasted at a bar and got a motel room somewhere. I just– all I remember is that four days later he showed up, told me to get in the car, and we drove back to that crappy ass motel he left you at. Before we got inside he told me not to tell you, that if I said anything, he’d have no problem killing me for real and making sure it hurt.” 

“Gracie, look at me.” Dean pleaded tenderly, his voice thick with tears as he searched for the only pair of eyes that could make him question doing something stupid and reckless but she refused to look at anything besides her blood stained hands in her lap. She doesn’t know what had changed her mind about sharing that specific encounter, but she doesn’t think she feels any lighter in the aftermath of its exposure. “Look at me, sweetheart. Please.” 

Grace’s bloodshot eyes trail up to meet Dean’s after a beat of thick silence, and her bottom lip trembles as she sets her gaze on his crestfallen green gaze. The green gaze that they share. The green gaze that is so entirely Mary it almost hurts Dean to even look at his sister and see someone so broken down they're hardly even recognizable. Mary would hate what they’ve become. Hate what John simultaneously made of them and unmade of them. Sometimes, he doesn’t even feel like a person. He’s got such a misconstrued sense of his own autonomy that life or death doesn’t feel like such a weighted gamble of cards. What Dean Winchester hates the most is that the two kids he gave his own childhood up for – to raise and nurture when nobody else was around to do it –, have the same troubles embedded deeply in their instincts. “You don’t have to say anything, Dean.” Grace deflated sadly, wanting to just move on, to focus on the hunt and maintaining pleasantries with their father who is undoubtedly stewing in his wild anger only a car ahead of them.

“No, I do. I do, Gracie. I should’ve said something to both of you a long time ago.” Dean shakes his head, so often forgetting that he hadn’t willfully been a silent observer of the abuse. Grace hates that he blames so much of her suffering on himself, but she’s guilty of the same fate when there’s nothing else to keep her mind busy. “I’m not going to let him lay another finger on you, and if does, if I’m not there to stop it and shit happens, you come and find me, and I’ll deal with it. You hear me, sweetheart? He so much as grabs you too tight and I’ll handle it. I’ll finish him.” 

“You know I don’t blame you right? Either of you.” She asked softly, her voice wavering as she breathed through her mouth, her nose still throbbing at the center of her face. She’d need ice and Advil whenever they had a chance to dig through their duffles, but for now, she could live with the reminder that she’d finally stood her ground in some capacity. “The only one I blame is Dad, and it looks like we’re stuck with him for the foreseeable future, so can you stop trying to dig your own grave? And can you please stop looking like you’re going to tear his head off? This is what you wanted, and maybe it didn’t turn out the way you hoped, but we still have a job to do and I cannot be the only one thinking straight. I mean, we’re up against fucking vampires, you should be bouncing off the walls and you should be stressed beyond belief because halloween came early.” 

“Halloween did not come early.” Sam huffs, a small smile cracking his stoic expression as he threw a glare at Grace over his shoulder, his grip on the wheel loosening just slightly as he let her words wash over him. He couldn’t promise his best behavior, but he could certainly try if it meant keeping her happy. 

“We’re literally up against Dracula and his evil family, Sammy. Halloween basically came early.” Grace rolled her eyes, feeling more like herself as she taunted her brother and his eternal hatred for anything related to the tail-end of October. 

“Freaking vampires, dude!” Dean bellowed, and that was all that it took for peace to be restored amongst the siblings, John’s presence no longer so daunting now that Grace knew they had each other's back in any circumstance. 

-

Grace stood between her brothers in broad daylight, concealed by only a couple of overgrown and intertwined branches as they scooped out the vampire nest from a distance. John stood only a few inches away, his eyes memorizing the terrain that they’d stumbled across intently. Dean grumbled at her side, shaking his head as he watched two vampires engage in a rushed conversation before slipping into the abandoned barn. One lingered by the doors, sweeping his gaze across the expanse of trees and shrubbery before he disappeared too. 

“Son of a bitch.” He muttered beneath his breath, “So they’re really not afraid of the sun?”

“No, direct sunlight hurts like a nasty sunburn. The only way to kill them is by beheading them.” Grace’s nose scrunched at the violent nature of their only true weakness, and subtly she was reminded of her reset nose when an ache ran deep through her bones. She stepped just slightly to the left, her forearm brushing against Dean’s as she created distance between her fathers body and her own. She could talk a big game about carrying on with the hunt and letting the past take up residence on a back burner, but instinct was something harder to control. Dean nudged her with his elbow, nodding just slightly to convey his watchful eye. He meant what he’d said. John Winchester would never lay another hand on her if he had any say in the matter; and he’d make sure he got a say this time around. “And, yeah, they sleep during the day. It doesn’t mean they won’t wake up.” 

“So I guess walking right in’s not our best option.” Dean assumed, and Grace was inclined to agree that walking right into a vampire's nest was a dumb play, but John’s reaction insinuated the very opposite. 

“Actually, that’s the plan.” He mused, nodding toward their cars parked a few feet away in a clearing not visible to the barn doors. They followed him cautiously, stepping over twigs and branches that would give away their position if even one of the creatures heard something suspicious. 

She pulled the trunk of the Impala open, her eyes training over the stuffed bear she’d taken possession of all of those weeks ago in Kansas. A saddened warmth spread through her chest at the memory of Mary burning before her own two eyes, but she pushed it aside. Now was not the time nor place to unpack her boatload of parental traumas. 

“Dad, I’ve got an extra machete if you need one.” Dean called over his shoulder as he looked to John who had his own trunk open and was scrounging through his collection of weapons for something specific. 

“Think I’m okay. Thanks.” He replied drying, unsheathing a machete that glimmered beneath the overcast sky. Its blade was impressive, not something that Grace had seen before, and the irony that he suddenly had a weapon of that nature in a hunt like this didn’t leave her entirely. For someone who said he’d never hunted a vampire and thought all they were all extinct, he certainly had the weapons and knowledge to disprove that. 

“Wow.” Dean hummed, turning back to the trunk. Grace’s fingers were curled together in a pattern that Dean hadn’t seen since his teenage years, but a broad smile broke across his lips as he shook his head. Years ago, they’d created a silent code for the times when their father was being nothing short of an arrogant dick. It was one of the only ways that they could get anything beneath his nose, and still Dean found humor in it, even if this time his smile was drawn from the stirrings of nostalgia that blossomed in his chest. 

“So… you boys really want to know about this colt?” Grace could only roll her eyes at the fact that her father refused to acknowledge her, but she didn’t say anything. Truth was, they did want to know, and she was willing to sacrifice her pride if it meant gaining precious insight. 

“Yes sir.” Sam replied, his attention snapping to John instantaneously. 

John sighed, and for a second his eyes lingered on Grace angled between his boys so perfectly that it looked like something natural. John couldn’t remember a time when his kids had been so at ease around him, and even if their shoulders were still rigid with tension, there was something about their closeness that struck him deeply. “It’s just a story… A legend, really. Well, I thought it was. Never really believed it until I read Daniel’s letter. Back in 1835, when Halley’s comet was overhead, the same night those men died at the Alamo, they say Samuel Colt made a gun… a special gun. He made it for a hunter – a man like us, only on horseback. The story goes he made thirteen bullets. This hunter used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. ‘Til somehow, Daniel got his hands on it. They say– they say this gun can kill anything.”

“Kill anything like supernatural anything?” Dean questioned, astonishment laced within his tone. Grace stood straighter at the realization, her gaze falling upon that hidden corner of the trunk where she’d tucked her precious bear in between a pocket knife and the first aid kit Dean kept. 

“Like the thing that killed Mom.” Grace whispered as she trailed her gaze back to John, looking at him with so much confidence he almost didn’t have a clapback for her direct mentioning of Mary. Almost. He opened his mouth, probably to threaten her into silence, but she stepped up closer, her voice even and calm as she raised her chin. “You do not have the right to take her away from me. Maybe I don’t remember her, but she is still my Mom. The only one I’ll ever have. So why don’t you just get on with it instead of wasting any more time that we don’t have.” 

John, for once in his life, listened. “Yeah, the demon.” He licked at his lips, shifting his gaze to Sam who stood in the same state of shock as Dean. “Ever since I picked up its trail, I’ve been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun… we may have it.” 

Grace nodded, looking directly at her father, no longer afraid to so much as meet his eye without explicit permission. “Well let’s go then. I’d say it's about twenty years overdue.” 

-

Grace climbed through a window after Sam, standing on piles of hay that sank beneath her weight. Dean was right behind her, and softly he closed the boards up after he’d climbed through, drowning them in near complete darkness before their eyes adjusted to the change in light. John was ahead of them, but what else lay ahead of them was incredibly daunting. At least four vampires laid asleep in makeshift hammocks, their arms folded over their stomachs as they assumed the same near identical positions. 

She kept close to Sam, and Dean kept close to her. They had each other's backs, and that was as much comfort as Grace was going to get before they managed to secure the gun. As they stalked through the barn, it became evident that it wasn’t just four vampires that surrounded them, but over a dozen, and chills crawled up her spine as she grimaced internally. She snapped ehr gaze to Dean when teh toe of his shoe clashed against an abandoned bottle of beer, his shoulder jostling the hammock that a vampire rested in soundly. Their eyes widened, and both siblings froze to gauge the reaction that was to come, but when nothing happened and the vampire settled back into sleep, Grace breathed a silent sigh of relief. 

“Dean, Gracie.” Sam whispered for their attention, crouched beside a woman that Grace could only see half off. She crept closer, blood stains coming into view. Sam was already busy trying to untie the ropes that bound the woman, but Grace and Dean snapped their gaze to the far corner of the room when they heard a muffled sound. 

“There’s more.” Dean whispered, and Grace nodded, already back on her feet and heading in the direction that they’d heard the slightest commotion from. Dean grabbed onto a metal lever, putting both of his hands around the cold material to dampen the noise, but a clanking squeak still echoed around the barn and Grace kept careful watch of the vampires surrounding them. One of the guys shifted in his sleep, but thankfully he remained that way. 

The quiet didn’t last long, and Grace flinched into Dean when a near demonic sounding scream came from the woman bound to the pole in the center of the barn. All at once the other vampires woke, bouncing to their feet as they took in the sight of intruders around them. 

John smashed a window in the corner of the barn, his eyes wild as he looked over his shoulders to locate his children; all three of them. “Kids, run!” He threw out the order, and they listened, but Grace faltered when her eyes caught something silver in the distance. She stumbled on her feet, but didn’t go back for the gun that caught her attention. There would be another opportunity, their had to be.

When sunlight broke across her face, she squinted at the intrusion of bright light, running through the wooded area where the calls of her brother's voices created an audible path. “Gracie! Dad!” 

“I’m right here. God, I’m right here, stop fucking yelling you idiot!” She groaned, batting her hand against Dean’s shoulder when she got close enough to reach them. Dean rolled his eyes at her attitude, but stopped calling for John, realizing that he was essentially giving their covered position away. “They have the colt.” She told her brothers, confirming that they were chasing the right lead for more than just a police scanner call. 

“They won’t follow. They’ll wait till tonight. Once a vampire gets your scent, it’s for life.” John panted as he came running up to them, and Grace could only roll her eyes at the fact that he was only thinking to tell them that small detail now. 

“What the hell do we do now?” Dean threw back at their father, evidently less than impressed with that simple answer. 

“You got to find the nearest funeral home, that’s what.” Dean reared back at the cheap solution, his eyes widening for a brief moment before he schooled his features. 

-

Grace stood beneath the cover of nightfall only a few feet away from where Dean had parked the Impala. There’s a crossbow at her side, arrows from John already loaded into the weapon. She doesn’t know what they are, but she doesn’t really care. All she knows is that he’d sent her and Dean out as bait, but not without shoving the weapons into her empty hands, demanding that she prove she hasn’t lost her worth in the years that it had been since they’d seen each other. She doesn’t want to think about how his eyes had flashed with something genuine as she nodded to the instruction, but she can't help but consider that maybe she doesn’t know him as well as she’d thought. Regardless, his sudden care for her wellbeing doesn’t change her opinion of him. If anything, it only pisses her off more. She doesn’t need him anymore; doesn’t want him. She’s long since abandoned the desire to win his affection and praise. All that she cares about is doing her part in keeping her brothers alive. 

She waits for the perfect moment before she reaches for the weapon, letting the arrows cut through the darkness of night only when she’s certain that she has the perfect shot. Both arrows pierce through the hearts of the vampires, and they crane their necks to face the expanse of trees behind them. Her heart is hammering, unable to recall the last time she’d even held a crossbow, but the knowledge that after all the time that had elapsed and she was still a perfect shot had her jogging toward her brother without concern. Sam and John were right behind her, and Grace couldn’t pinpoint when they’d arrived, but she smiled cheekily at Sam over her shoulder, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly. For a second, she was just the girl he’d started to know at Stanford, and Sam had never been so glad to see that stupid smile in his life. 

“Barely even stings.” The woman calls over her shoulder, looking straight at Grace who still holds onto the weapon of choice for the night. She can only shrug, but John has more to say.

“Give it time, sweetheart. That arrows soaked in dead man's blood. It’s like poison to you, isn’t it?” Grace’s gaze trailed down to her fingers, suddenly aware of the fact that she’d touched both arrows to lace them into the weapon. She could roll her eyes at John’s inability to ever be truly transparent, but she pockets the complaint for a later date. The woman’s eyes began to grow heavy, and in second both vampires dropped to the ground. “Load her up. I’ll take care of this one.” 

The last thing Grace saw before she turned to help her brothers was John slicing the head of the vampire off with one clean blow. 

-

“Toss this on the fire. Saffron, skunk, cabbage, and trillium – it’ll block our scent and hers until we’re ready.” John hummed, a fire burning bright beside Grace as she stood in the middle of the woods beside her brothers. 

Dean coughed, pacing the rough terrain with understandable restlessness. “Stuff stinks.” He commented, and Grace could only shake her head at his reflection. 

“Well, that’s the idea. Dust your clothes with the ashes and you’ll stand a chance of not being detected.” Grace didn’t have to be told twice, mostly because it wasn’t her jacket she was ruining by spreading ash across her chest and sleeves. She shot Dean a cheeky smile, flaunting his ash covered jacket in a silly spin that had him chuckling and shaking his head. She’d never been so light in the presence of John, had never been so light in the presence of Dean, but new leaves had been turned since he’d punched her, and fear was something she muddled through so intensely. She could only hope it lasted, but if this was all that she ever got of ‘peace’, she’d take it as a win. 

“You sure they’ll come after her?” Sam questioned, looking back at John. 

“Yeah. Vampires mate for life. She means more to the leader than the gun. But the blood sickness is gonna wear off soon, so you don’t have a lot of time.” 

“Half-hour outta do it.” Dean hummed, stepping up to the conversation with Grace on his heels. 

“And then I want you out of the area as fast as you can.” Grace frowned at the ultimatum, or, direct order. She’d been thrown enough orders in her life to know when something was optional, and John’s direction to leave town was definitely not that. 

“Woah, Dad. You can’t take care of them all yourself.” Dean fought back, but John shook his head. 

“I’ll have her and the colt.” He tried to reason, but all Grace heard was bullshit masculinity and its inability to let anyone else help. She hadn’t thought for a second that things with him would be any different, but somehow she didn’t expect this. 

“But after, we’re gonna meet up, right? Use the gun together, right?” Sam questioned, his voice laced with something that Grace couldn’t determine. His words were pointed, level and directed, but there was still something else lingering in his civil tone. “You’re leaving again, aren’t you? You still want to go after the demon alone? You know, I don’t get you. You can’t treat us like this.” 

John looked toward the fire before his gaze swept back to Sam, who’d thrown his promise to the wind, but for once, Grace was right behind him, not bristling at the conflict that was beginning to rise between them. “Like what?” 

“Like children.” Sam snaps, the same argument eating away at him each time it slips away from focus unsolved and unaddressed.

“You are my children. I’m trying to keep you safe. All of you.” John looked right at Grace, and there was that genuinity again. She stepped back instinctively, her body partially concealed by Dean as she tried to make sense of his sudden care. She hated this. Hated that she’d finally been ready to cut her ties with him and this is how he acts; like the father she’d wanted when she was seven.

“Dad, all due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” Dean sighed, not willing to stand out in the cold and let their father lie to their faces to save his own ass another time. He’d endured this treatment for years, but he’d finally reached his limit.  

“Excuse me?” John recoiled, and both Grace and Sam turned their gaze to him, jaws hanging slack as they watched Dean make good on his promise that wasn’t solely aimed at the youngest Winchester. He’d meant what he said about sticking his neck out; not letting history repeat itself. But, he hadn’t meant it only for Grace. He’d meant it for Sam too, but more importantly, he meant it for himself. He didn’t want to be a soldier anymore; he couldn’t be. Not when he’d finally seen what could become of him if he just acted on his own impulses every once in a while. 

“You know what Gracie and Sammy and I have been hunting. Hell, you sent us on a few hunting trips yourself. You can’t be that worried about keeping us safe. I mean, fuck Dad, you’ve never been worried about keeping Gracie safe at all. That was my job. My responsibility. So why don’t you let it stay that way.” He prattled on, and Grace could only dip her head down at the mention of her name. She knows what he gave up for her, but she desperately wished he hadn’t had to. It’s not her fault that it happened, but that doesn’t lessen the guilt she carries. 

“It’s not the same thing, Dean.” John shook his head, but that only further frustrated his children who were damn near fed up with being kept in what seemed like eternal darkness. 

“Then what is it? Why do you want us out of the big fight?” 

“This demon… It's a bad son of a bitch. I can’t make the same moves if I’m worried about keeping you alive.” He relented, but even with his spoken word, little was actually revealed to the siblings. John Winchester just had a way of being elusive without even batting an eye. 

“You mean you can’t be as reckless.” Dean snapped back, going toe-to-toe with their father, tired of just being the little boy that listened and obeyed blindly. He’d played that role for twenty-six years, he couldn’t stand to fill the shoes for another second. 

“Look, I don’t expect to make it out of this fight in one piece. Your mothers death… it almost killed me.” Dean looked away at the mention of Mary, and John shook his head, growing teary. “I can’t watch my children die, too. I won’t.” 

“What happens if you die?” Dean’s voice wavered with the slightest indication of vulnerability before it grew cold and detached, his jaw clenching as he spoke. “Dad, what happens if you die and we could have done something about it? You know, I’ve been thinking. I think maybe Sammy’s right about this one. I think we should do this together.” He was pleading at this point, begging with John to let them see this through with him. Grace couldn’t admit it, but a piece of her yearned for the same thing as her brothers. She may hate the man, may despise his presence next to her, but she couldn’t be an orphan. She still can’t even begin to handle the fact that she’s already down one parent. “We’re stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it.”

“We’re running out of time.” John nodded, entirely bypassing the point that Dean had been trying to drive home. Grace deflated behind her brother, taking a step away in wild defeat and discouragement. She hates the thought of being around John, but she wants to have a hand in righting her mothers death. It’s not fair that even after all of this, John still dangles any kind of closure over her head. Every part of her knows that he’s incapable of change, but a piece of her heart breaks as she realizes that nothing about them will ever be enough to get him to stay. “You do your time, and you get out of the area. That’s an order.” 

She scoffs as she shakes her head, turning her back to her brothers and her father as she made her way back to the Impala wordlessly. She’d fought for John to love her for years, she wouldn’t let herself waste anymore time on someone that had never been what he should’ve been for her. 

The door slams behind her, and she sinks into the leather seats wearing a pout of frustration. When Sam and Dean sink into the seats up front, a beat of silence passes before the engine roars to life and Dean pulls out onto the road like a bat out of hell, the timer already running out of time. 

-

Grace crawls through the window after her brothers, silently landing on the bails of hay that are stacked up against the boarded wall. She brushes her blood stained clothes off, grimacing at the hay that still sticks to her and sends prickly sensations down her spine whenever she moves. She creeps through the hallways wordlessly, grinning beside Dean as they sweep a coin off of the desk and listen to it clank as it hits the floor. She slips into the hallway, gripping tightly to a machete that conveniently is perched against the wall of the barn. She doesn’t let herself think about the irony of this nest of vampires housing the very weapons that can kill them, focusing instead on the plan at hand. 

She holds her breath as a vampire stalks through the barn searching for the cause of the sound, and when he’s just a few steps ahead of her, Dean pops out from the sideroom, a grin on his lips as he whispers, “Boo!” The vampire didn’t even have a chance to spin on his heels and search for Grace before she was wielding the machete with practiced ease, slicing his head clean off in a second. 

“That is either the coolest thing I’ve ever done on a hunt or the most disgusting.” She grimaces as blood drips down her face and further stains her clothing. She can’t tell what’s her blood or his anymore, but the satisfaction in knowing she’d killed the evil they stumbled across eased the disgust pooling in her belly as warm blood began to cool on her skin. 

She wiped a palm down her face, wiping the blood into the fabric of her pants as she followed Dean. When he had what he was searching for, he nodded toward the window where Sam was waiting with a machete from the trunk, having taken the role of lookout reluctantly. 

“We’re going back for him, aren’t we?” Grace questions as she lands on the ground, brushing off her clothes again as dirt and hay stick to her. 

“Obviously.” Dean retorted and Grace nodded promptly, not having it in her to argue about what their next move should be. Their father couldn’t handle what was coming his way, even if he didn’t know that, Grace did, and despite herself and every self-preservation tactic she’d learned since childhood, she couldn’t get herself to be the kind of person to walk away when showing up mattered most. 

-

The headlights from John’s truck shone brightly in the expanse of darkness as Grace and her brothers rushed through the wooded area toward the gravel road. Grace wielded a crossbow with elegance, hardly bristling as she aimed for the chest of a woman and shot blankly, the poison coated arrow piercing directly through the vampire's sternum. Sam was only steps ahead of her, but before Grace could make a move to shoot the approaching vampire, he’d gained the upper hand and wrangled Sam into his grip. 

“Don’t! I’ll break his neck.” He warned dangerously, hooking his arm around Sam’s neck with a threatening tightness that had Grace lowering the crossbow just slightly. Grace’s gaze trailed to Dean as leaves rustled beside her, and she found her brother gripping at the handle of a blood soaked machete with genuine fear shining brightly behind his green eyes. “Put the blade down.” He only tightened his grip when Dean looked to contemplate the ultimatum, and Sam began to gasp for air as his windpipe was crushed ruthlessly and slowly. 

“Dean!” Grace called, shaking her head as she dropped the crossbow fully, allowing it to dangle at her side as she looked back at Sam whose cheeks were beginning to redden with the lack of oxygen. 

The vampire, a man that Grace had no interest learning the name of, stared straight at Dean as the machete clanked at the impact of thin metal meeting the rough ground. “You people. Why can’t you just leave us alone? We have as much right to live as you do.” 

“I don’t think so.” Grace hadn’t even noticed her father pick himself up from the ground, but her gaze snapped to him at the sound of a gunshot firing. The colt glistened beneath the moonlight, one of its carefully crafted bullets slicing through the air before it embedded itself in the creature's head right between his deep eyes. Grace didn’t take another moment to take in the sight of blood slowly slipping from the wound, instead, she rushed to Sam, the crossbow forgotten in the clearing of brittle grass as her sneakers padded against the ground bringing her closer to where Dean held Sam upright by his shoulders. 

Sam shrugged Grace’s concerned hands off of him as he turned to fully watch the vampire succumb to his injury. Light flickered from the hole in his head before he dropped to his knees on the gravel, groaning in pain before everything became still.

“Kate, don’t!” Another vampire called when a girl cried out in distress, attempting to rush toward her fallen leader before she was held back protectively. It was only a handful of seconds later that car doors were slamming shut and the vampires that remained sped away, their headlights shining bright in the darkness before they ebbed away. 

Grace Winchester took one look at her father before she shook her head, abandoning the fight and turning toward the direction of where the Impala was parked in the near distance but out of earshot. The leaves crunched beneath her feet, but she said nothing as she sought out escape. 

-

Grace’s hair was damp as she sifted through clothing that her brothers had somehow strewn across the room in the few hours that they’d actually occupied the motel room. She’d finally washed the blood off of her body and traded in her soiled clothes for new ones, but even with the seven minute shower she still felt heavy and out of sorts. She sighed as she threw a flannel at Dean, deciding against stealing it for herself when she noticed the grease stain smeared along the left side of the thin article. She stood in only pink pajama pants and a Stanford t-shirt when the motel door creaked open again, her father finally making his presence known. 

“So, boys…” Grace could only shake her head in exasperation when her father entirely bypassed her existence, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care that much as she continued to sift through the random garments within reach. She threw a t-shirt on top of Sam’s duffle bag, wondering how they’d created such a mess in the first place when all they’d done was steal a handful of hours of rest. 

“Yes, sir.” Dean cleared his throat, turning around to face John fully. Sam stepped up beside him, unintentionally shielding Grace from John’s sight. The youngest Winchester didn’t notice, but the eldest did, and John squared his shoulders at the realisation that he was being barred from looking at his own daughter. 

“You ignored a direct order back there.” John continued, deciding that now wasn’t the time to breach any kind of conversation pertaining to Grace. 

“Yes, sir. But we saved your ass.” Dean made sure to highlight what mattered, and Grace could only manage a smirk as she settled into the realization that it wasn’t just a one time promise. Even if it would take time to truly separate himself from everything that he’d been blindly following for years, Dean was putting the effort in where it mattered. 

“You’re right.” John relented, and Grace frowned at the simple resolution, turning around to witness the conversation as she pulled an old hoodie over her head. She can’t even remember the last time she’d seen Dean wear a hoodie, but now wasn’t the time to question why he was still holding on to the tattered thing. 

“I am?” Dean questioned skeptically, taking a step closer to Sam when he caught the slightest glimpse of Grace moving in his peripheral. All three Winchesters were on edge, knowing exactly what kind of treatment Grace would be subjected to taking had this occurred only two years ago. Dean wasn’t going to let it happen now, but still he worried about not being able to prevent it. 

“It scares the hell out of me. You…you three are all I’ve got. But I guess we are stronger as a family.” Grace bristled at the words rolling off of John’s tongue, unable to picture a reality where her father ever admitted that she was worth bringing along. She hates that this is what she’s wanted for her entire life, and now that it's falling at her feet laced with sincerity, it feels wrong and misplaced. She hates that John is willing to step up, be the man he should’ve been albeit still with faults and ridged edges, but she’s already moved on. It’s too little too late. “So… we go after this damn thing…together.” 

“Yes, sir.” Dean and Sam nodded but Grace couldn’t just let that be all that was said after years of torment and abuse; after he’d just broken her nose and backhanded her like she was just an insignificant child. He’d burned the bridge to her heart a long time ago, and there was no way to restore scattered ashes. 

“I’ll help you, because she is my mom, and this is my fight as much as it is yours, but you are not my family. You will never be my family.” She spat uncaringly, slinging her dufflebag over her shoulder and heading for the door, stepping around her father and her brothers. The light from the lamps fell upon her face, catching on the swelling around her eyes and the bruising to her cheek bone. 

John Winchester might be ready to finally accept his only daughter, but Grace Winchester has no obligation to forgive the years of anguish he’d inflicted on her.