#yeah i know its not a porch the vibes were so them
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buckthefutcher · 6 months ago
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themyscirah · 1 year ago
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Wait omg..... Jessica Cruz probably did rifle... my specialized sports knowledge coming in CLUTCH
Okay so I barely practiced and made it to regionals like once so im NOT the expert here but uh headcanoning that Jess did air rifle when she was a teen. Like idk if it would be as part of a team like with a high school (what I'm familiar with) vs like an individual thing vs like a travel/competitive team (it depends on the sitch in her area growing up) but she definitely went to some national matches (probably including JOs/JO quals like i think she was GOOD). I think she probably would have quit competitively following a bad shot at nationals (relatable) along with anxiety about competition (ALSO relatable) but still kept up with shooting casually for fun and relaxation and to hang out with friends etc.
She definitely would have shot smallbore competitively too but I never did that bc I was lazy so idk to much abt it competitively
#and by bad shot i mean a 0#it hurts me to even think abt doing that during a match actually esp at fucking JOs#a girl on my team did that and im sure it was devastating (we never let her live it down after too) but like dang. i feel that pain#im just saying she would vibe sooooooo hard with rifle. like canonically they just said she did it but im talking air in particular#also in the panel they said six which first off. humphries bro thats TOO young ik youre trying to be impressive but youre talking abt rifle#here. if someones let their kid have a gun at 6 theres actually smth wrong with them. and not even a bb or smth wtf#ANYWAYS you guys haveeeee to understand this. jess would go so hard for rifle she would fit right in w every competitive shooter ive ever#met istg-#she would be out there on the porch 35° weather in full gear mid match crying w the rest of us it would be great#wait wait shoutout to the time i had to get smth from my car and there were like 4 ppl out there crying during the middle of standing#like i literally FEEL THAT SO HARD (weve all been there) but also like... awkwarddddddd#4 is an unusually large amount though. normally its like 2 ppl at a time first relay. with more 1st relay ppl crying after than during#gosh rifle omg this is making me miss it#<<<<freshman/sophomore me would kill me for saying this btw. i HATED practicing so bad then omg#OH and Jess would be a kneeling girlie. fave position. why ? bc i said so shut up#no but bc its my favorite position (yes i know its the worst okay. im aware of all the reasons kneelings sucks and why everyone hates it.#but you know what? kneeling hates everyone equally and i respect that) no but uh yeah ✌️✌️✌️✌️#top 10 posts that are 80% jargon and only i care about 😘#anyways this is canon to me now actually#like idc what you say she was down in the trenches (the range) w the rest of us#also ik she almost certainly would have shot paper but in my mind she practices mainly w electronic bc thats what i used (even if its super#uncommon and is only used at the nice ranges) if she was super competitive she would probably have driven to shoot electronic. lets just say#there was a paper nearby and an electronic scoring range a bit farther or smth#anyways yeah#WAIT OMG SHE DEFINITELY MET HER FRIENDS FROM HER BACKSTORY THROUGH RIFLE#and the dating drama too omg rifle drama was INSANE. like i was almost always out of the loop bc i never practiced and didnt have snapchat#but like the drama was INSANE. fucking wild. at least to my nerdy ass self. so her relationship drama makes total sense now okay babe fr#jessica cruz#blah
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mochinomnoms · 5 months ago
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Ok si for the small snippet requests- ptm jadeyuu, but it's at the point where yuu starts getting a little downbad and just starts playing into jades lil scenarios more and he freaks out cause his day is going SO MUCH BETTER now. Thank you!
🦩
Having a crush when you're a mind reader can have its cons...but also some pros~
Also I wrote this while listening to Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey, I very recommend listening while reading for the vibe
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You blew hot air against your hands, rubbing them as you watched the snow fall outside the window.
Winter had come early this year and your dorm members had taken to playing in the snow. Everyone was enjoying themselves, even Aspen was smiling, though yelping as he was smacked in the face by a snowball.
You laughed as he chased after Tony, tackling him into the ground as they both cackled with a red flush over their cheeks.
Ramshackle had very little traffic, even with the students in your care, which left it rather pristine and ideal for making snowmen and fights. Plenty of students from the other dorms were hanging around between classes, some even in your kitchen making warm drinks and snacks.
Which is why you weren't surprised when a mug of hot chocolate appeared in your peripheral vision. Looking up, you softly smiled and gave a small 'thank you' as you took the mug from Jade, who took a spot next to you, leaning against the porch railing to watch the small group of students playing in the snow.
He was in the winter version of the school uniform, which just came with a thicker jacket, a scarf, boots, and snow gloves. Though, you're positive that Aspen mentioned that none of them needed it, as they were well acquainted with the cold. It was mostly to keep up appearances, Floyd being the exception as he forwent the gloves and jacket.
My pretty pearl, you look radiant against the snowfall. I feel like I'm falling for you all over again…
Your cheeks warmed, despite the biting cold, and you masked your smile behind your mug as Jade stared at you from the corner of his eyes. When you dared to look at him, his gazed immediately darted back to the others. He had a red flush over his cheeks, which could be due to the cold, but you knew better.
Both of you chuckled as Silas, holding a giant snowball over their head, jumped and slammed the snow on top of Yaqub's head with a shit eating grin.
“They seem to be having fun. I know Floyd is coming over to have a snowball fight with Tony in a bit, will you be joining?”
You shook your head, watching the marshmallows swirl in your mug.
“Nah, I'm probably gonna head in here in a few. My hands are freezing, and I don't have gloves anyways.” You sighed, drinking your hot chocolate and relishing in the warmth flowing to your belly.
Jade tilted his head, watching as you lifted one of your hands to blow on it again.
“Would you like some help warming up?” You weren't surprised at the flash of an image of Jade and you 'warming up' in front of the lounge fireplace under a lush blanket. “I'm happy to assist.”
You know what response he was waiting for. You know that he'd come to expect your flustered and panicked stammering, putting as much space between you two as possible. It's a very 'you' response.
I can do this, I can give the same energy! Yeah! No more playing around with me, Jade! It's my turn!
“Hmm? And just how do you plan to 'warm me up' Jade~” You cooed, batting your eyelashes and smiling up at him.
You're surprised just how…sultry that came out. I didn't think I could sound like…like…something out of Jade's daydreams! Jade seemed surprised as well, snapping his head to stare at you.
His face still had his same polite smile, though you swear his cheeks turned a bit more red.
“…Pardon? Could you repeat that?” Jade asked, though there was a bit of breathlessness to his voice.
Did you…no I must have imagined…
“Well, there's lots of ways to warm someone up,” You shrugged, looking down at your drink and tracing the edge of the mug. “You caaaan…start a fire…get me a blanket…skin to skin contact…”
Haaaah, is this real?
“Human lovers will cuddle with each other, and do more...intimate things together to warm up.” You finally turned to face him, watching him visibly swallow.
Now I'm just being mean.
“Is…that so? That's good to know.” Jade's voice sounded strained, though his face betrayed very little. If it wasn't for the screaming echoing through his mind, you wouldn't be able to tell this was effecting him.
“Mmh, so, Jade~” You slowly crept closer to him, your still free hand doing the same along the rail to inch closer to his fingertips.
“How do you plan to warm me up, Jade?”
You had to crane your head to look up, causing a creak in the back of your neck, as there was barely an inch of space between you two. Frankly, though, it was worth it to see the wide-eyed surprise on his face.
It's real! Bless the Seven! It'srealIt'srealIt'srealIt'srealIt'sreal—
“Well, I—”
“Can watch everyone while I warm up in the kitchen!” You chirped, quickly backing away and smiling. “I'm sure it's plenty warm in there with the others running the oven!”
W-what?
Hmph, that's what he gets. You started walking away towards the front door, a smug smile on your face. Just a taste of what he puts me through every day—
You swallowed a shriek as Jade caged you against the wall with his arms, dropping your mug in surprise. You could hear it clatter against the wood floor and the hot drink fizzle against the cold surface.
Curling in on yourself, you looked up at Jade, who was giving you a smile and narrowed glare, his sharp teeth visible. He had a glint in his eyes and his flush was growing down to his neck.
“Now, now my dear,” he leaned down, speaking softly as he hovered his face closer and closer to yours, until you pressed your hands against his chest, stopping him.
“It's not nice to be a tease, stunts like that would get you eaten up in the sea.” Jade's nose brushed against yours, his smile growing as you grew more flustered.
“Unless, you're trying to be a tease~” Jade's right hand moved to graze your cheek with his finger.
This is going too far, I should…
Your skin felt tingly as he ghosted down to your chin, tracing the tip of his thumb against your bottom lip.
“Talking about lovers, acting coy.”
…I should make him…stop…
He pulled it down, ever so slightly, making you release a breath you didn't realize you were holding.
Cute…
“You shouldn't play around with things like that.”
“I'm…not…” you let out a whimper as his breath mixed with yours, lips hovering over your own. You could hear his breath hitch at the sound.
“No? Then prove it, unless you want me to 'warm you up' in front of everyone?”
Swallowing another whimper and feeling your cheeks and body warm from something other than your drink, you licked your lips. You felt him shudder as your lips just barely brush, moving to press them together—
“Ooooh, how scandalous!”
You shrieked, out loud this time, shoving Jade away as you accidentally smack his face to get some space between you two.
“Ack!” Jade covered his face with his hands, wrinkling his nose from the sudden pain.
You stared in a mix of embarrassment and bewilderment at the small group watching you two at the railing.
Silas was grinning, fulling leaning his body over the railing as he kicked his legs behind him like a child. Yaqub and Tony looked just as amused, the former hiding his giggling behind his hand. Aspen, to no one's surprised, had a sour look on his face, disappointed even, while Wynfred was pouting. Marion had the decently to look embarrassed that he was caught staring, looking down at his feet like they were the most interesting things he'd seen all day. James, sweet James, just looked confused.
“…I didn't know you two were dating?”
“We're not!” You waved your hands in a panic, laughing nervously as you stepped away from Jade, who was now glaring at the group with an annoyed frown.
“Then, why were you two kissing—” James jumped, as did the rest of the group as you screeched.
“HE WAS JUST BLOWING HOT AIR ON MY HANDS, THAT'S IT! NOTHING ELSE!”
You laughed manically as you clapped your hands, inching closer to the door.
“You know I'm still cold! Are you guys cold? Yeah, you are!” You continued nervously laughing as you turned and practically bolted to the front door, the snow on the ledges falling from the sheer force of your slam.
The group and Jade stared at where you disappeared, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop in the snow.
“…So you two were, like, totally making out, right?” Silas asked, letting out an 'oof' as Marion smack that back of their head, making them fall face-first into the wooden patio.
Jade gave his signature smile, bowing his head.
“Perhaps you all should go back to playing, I should check on the poor Prefect, though might I advise not interrupting a pair's private conversation next time?”
Yaqub scoffed, elbowing Tony as he teased, “Conversation, sure. Maybe next time you two should have your next 'conversation' in the bedroom?”
The two snorted, Tony choking into a cough at Aspen's glare.
“Thank you for the kind suggestion, I'll be sure to consider it.” Jade called out as he entered the dorm, determined to continue from where you two left off.
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thetxtdevil · 4 months ago
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ok this might be a dumb request but ughh please bear with me bc I had this dream of it and oof it was hot ✨️😂 ok so yeonjun being lucifer, the big devil man finds out he has a soul mate, who is yn, and he like commands her to give him all of her and live with him in the underworld and during their sexy time she said yes 😅 it was spicy! But yeah I'd appreciate it in your writing style lol
This gives me Hades and Persephone vibes, love this idea.
also this has some religious themes so be aware!
--nsfw--
Yeonjun is a king, an evil barbarian that rules the hells, feeds off people’s fears of one day ending up in his kingdom being his faithful servant. Standing on a porch of his crumbling castle, he looks over the fiery fields finding the screams... boring. Yeonjun needed something, was it blood? revenge? no, it was sex! His blood curdles more than usual thinking about taking time for the devil himself. He had all the supplies and people to please him but he wanted something more.
Thats when he decides to travel up to the mortal world. Amongst the transportation, dark hues of red changes to earthy browns then Yeonjun is hit with the aching brightness of God's creation, the sun. Yeonjun's burgundy skin turns tan, his crisp hair into raven black silk, black eyes turn into softer brown ones, and his usual exposed body was covered by a black suit. It was time, time to find his soulmate.
Walking around the town he was transported to he finds humans entertaining, and weirdly crime increases since he's been there. Yeonjun laughs at the innocent people being controlled by evil something they're not used to so they end up doing a poor job of stealing a car, throwing rocks that miss, being caught in their lies. Yeonjun's attention from the dreadful sight was caught when he sees you. You were dressed in all black just like him standing in front of a church. He watches closely to your expression, it was full of disgust. Yeonjun was surprised, a beautiful angelic women like you in distaste looking at such a holy thing.
Yeonjun glides closer to you, "Disliking the view?" you chuckle at the man's question.
"Uhh yeah, is it that obvious?" you stop to look at the man and fall embarrassed, he was devilishly handsome.
"I was never one for God's good deeds and begging for them." You quirk an eyebrow at the man's comment. "I'm Yeonjun, what brings you to this sickening church?" he asks but already knows why when you shake his hand, he saw your uncle arrive in hell not too long ago.
"My family member died and well, I don't have a good background in the church"
"That makes two of us" Yeonjun's smiles warms your heart, slight flutter fills your stomach when you see a hint of his fangs from the toothy grin.
This is the girl, this is his soulmate, now how to make her to go to hell with Yeonjun, he's going to have to figure that one out in his own terms.
---
The cold air envelopes the town as the sun fades away and the night is in full bloom. After the funeral, you spent the rest of the day doing errands but sulking about not asking out the beautiful man.
You twist and turn in your bed not being able to sleep, but you must have drifted off when you lift your head to see a shadowy figure. The moon's rays in your room usually shine cool blues but right now the room was illuminating red. The color takes over your vision in a haze suddenly feeling hot. Paying no mind at the sleep paralysis demon you start to take off your clothes stopping yourself from getting overheated.
You look over at the shadow once more too comfortable with its presence, "What, are you an incubus or something?"
A dark chuckle escapes the shadow making you shiver, "Oh y/n you know exactly what to say."
Yeonjun gets closer to your area of vision, crawling on the bed to hover over you. You lost all common sense, you felt no reason to ask how he got in your house, you didn't stop his hand from caressing your naked skin, you even failed to care that he was undressed this whole time. His feature were so close to yours, admiring his seductive eyes, the curve of his cheeks, his plump lips that were so close to yours. You try to lean in for a kiss but he backs away.
"Before you can have me, you have to give me all of you and live with me in the underworld for eternity."
Conflicted, you stop for a moment, giving up your whole life for a man you just met? You weighed the pros and cons but the longer you let the devil wait the more you mind begins to fog. His hands explored your body, lightly pinching your nipples, digging into the plush flesh of your thighs, lips turning into bites against your neck. You have forgotten your place on earth, Yeonjun wasn't heaven he was lustful hell that you fully have given into.
Yeonjun relaxes your body down into your sheets kissing you passionately. You open your eyes to look at him again only to find that your weren't in your room anymore, you were in hell. Blackened cobblestone walls surround you, with arched windows that look down to a world like looked like you were inside lava.
Looking back at Yeonjun his tan skin was now red, cheek bones heightened, forehead adorned with long sharp horns. You accepted you fate with your soulmate as you wrap your hand around his big cock lining it along your wet aching hole. "For eternity." The devil smiles pushing into you, deliciously stretching you while biting deep into your collarbone as a sign of claim.
A nuisance,
TxT's Devil
taglist: @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling
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phxntomsdusk · 10 months ago
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Saw the event, Congratulations!!!! Do you think I could request cc!Ted with the Friends to Lovers trope? Or! Reader is Charlie’s sibling? Either way have a wonderful day!
Totally friendly way - CC!Ted
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summary: ever since Charlie introduced you to his friend, Ted, the two of you became best friends! Except.. do friends look at each other that way?
warnings: none <3
tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog , @idontreallyexistyet , @pheliiaa , @rqvii , @ivvees-blog , @haunted-headset , @average-vibe , @vibestillaxxx (ask to be added!)
word count: 712
Having a famous content creator for a brother was interesting, to say the least. Constant screaming from the other room, cameras shoved in your face, your own name trending on Twitter. And of course the infamous nickname; slime-sib. It was possibly the dumbest thing, but it wasn’t the worst, besides what else would they call you? You were Slimecicle’s sibling!
Being his younger sibling had its ups and downs, growing up with a free at home comedian, constantly having something to watch on YouTube. And of course new friends.
When he was on the DSMP you knew some of his friends, such as Tommy, Wilbur, Phil. You never spoke to them outside of Charlie’s streams, but they were extremely nice to you either way. When he met up with Tommy, you were there. The QSMP, you knew some of them, but struggled to communicate because of language barriers outside of the server.
There was one friend that always stood out to you though, Ted. Ever since he had introduced you two, you grew practically inseparable. Ted quickly became your closest friends, spoke about you on the podcast, and would honestly talk about you more than Charlie ever did.
Charlie was aware of the fact that you and Ted were so close, he would even make sure to tease the both of you as much as possible. Whether it was calling you two partners, taking secret pictures and acting like you were on a date, or straight up posting about how you two were dating. Even though you weren’t.
It had been around two years since you guys first met, and honestly, it felt more like it’s been two years since you had gotten together.
Everyone treated you like a couple, even random strangers who saw you in public!
If you happened to go to a restaurant together, with Charlie, the two of you were treated like you were dating. If you were just out shopping, you could get a random comment about being a cute couple. The two of you were quick to deny these claims, but there was always the same comments every single time.
“You know, it’s so annoying lately.” You sighed and looked up at Ted, who was currently walking you home. “What is?” He chuckled softly, his arm wrapping around your shoulders.
“The constant looks! That old lady in the store asked when you were proposing, Ted. Can people not be just friends anymore?” You sighed as you made your way onto your porch, grabbing your keys from your pocket and turned to look at him. “I mean.. you get where I’m coming from, right?”
He was hesitant for a second, sighing under his breath and shrugged. Now, it was no lie that Ted had gained feelings for you. It was quite obvious at this point; but you were oblivious.
“Yeah, but— do friends look at each other like this?” His voice had gotten quiet, furrowing his brows as he moved his arm from around your shoulders. “What do you mean?”
He got caught up with his words, his hands moving around a bit as he struggled to think. “I just.. Y/N, listen.” He sighed and placed his hands on your shoulders, looking down at you with a more serious expression.
“We look at each other like we’re a couple, we hold hands, we cuddle on the couch, we go on practical dates. And you’re trying to tell me that you don’t feel the same way?” He had leaned down a bit closer to you, your lips merely inches apart as his gaze diverted down to them.
Was he being serious? Did he actually feel that way? “Never said I didn’t.” You spoke quietly, your gaze doing the same as his and went down to his lips.
Within a moment he quickly kissed you, his hands going down to gently hold your sides. Your own found their way to the sides of his face, smiling into the kiss as you leaned into it. It only lasted a few moments, before he pulled away and smiled at you.
“Can I spend the night? In a totally friendly way?” His tone teased you, earning an eye roll and a nod.
“Yeah, yeah. You can in a totally friendly way.”
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lulutaylorsimaginarium · 5 months ago
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The Chain
Summary: When the guys get stuck in a situation and hunted down by a drug lord. Frankie makes a call he really doesn’t want to make to the only person that can help them
Words:1441
Warnings: “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the right age to handle mature themes. We handle our own triggers with kindness and grace
AN: Mind any grammar mistakes even though the story has been checked. The author is dyslexic and it is the wonders of her brain.
THE CHAIN MASTERLIST
Chapter Seventeen
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Chapter Seventeen
She knew that the house was basically going to be empty today. Benny left the night before for the first trip over the border. Will and Santiago were leaving this morning to buy a van for the next trip. So, that left Gabby and Frankie. She was hoping that Frankie would be too busy in the garage. As much as she didn’t want things to be weird between them.   She didn’t know how to fix it either and she didn’t want to face it.
 
Not knowing what to do, wasn’t really in her nature
 
Gabby heard footsteps and movement in the house. She couldn’t bring herself to get up. She wanted to disappear, and she couldn’t quite understand why.
 
The bedroom door opened, and she rolled over as Santiago walked in quietly and placed a cup of coffee on the bedside table.
“I know you’re not sleeping”
“No, you don’t”
“Always so argumentative” he teased as she rolled back over on to her back laughing “Will and I are leaving in an hour”
“Did you put me to bed last night?”
“No, we left you on the sofa”
“I don’t remember coming up”
“Well, you didn’t take any meds last night. Maybe you were sleepwalking again”
“At least I’m tucking myself” she joked
“You going to be okay?”
“Babe, Its Frankie not Hannibal”
“It’s not just that”
“Santi, you’re sweet but it’s only for a few days. We’ve got it locked down. Just take care of you and watch Will’s back” she chuckled “If anything happens to Will. I’ll kick your butt”
“Yes ma’am”
He kissed her one more time and looked back before he walked out the door.
Gabby had already fallen back asleep.
 
#
 
 
The house was quiet and still when she finally made her way downstairs. She didn’t think he was inside by the feel of it. She couldn’t normally feel if someone was in the house. She’d wake up from a deep sleep even if someone opened the bedroom door. It was a side effect of living in tents and the middle of nowhere. Maybe that’s why she craved peace so much.
Gabby washed the coffee mug that Santago had given her. That coffee, although amazing, just wasn’t enough. She felt it. It was going to be a four or five coffee day. She wasn’t quite recovered from whatever had decided to kick her butt the day before. 
She looked around the living room, no sign of life.
Gabby made her way to the front door, opened it and found him on the porch.
“It’s freezing out here” she said quietly
“I thought you were going to sleep in”
“If I sleep anymore I’m going to get a headache”
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea to take it easy though”
“I used to be stronger then this”
“Yeah, well” he smirked cheekily up at her “You’re getting old”
“You’re older than me. You turd”
“Yeah, I’m getting old too. We’re not kids anymore”
“No. We are not”
He got up at of his chair and stood closer. She had forgotten how much taller he was then her. Which only showed how distant they had been.
“You wanna go out from breakfast?” he asked before she looked over at the storm shelter, worried “We won’t be gone long”
Wasn’t that the same offer that she made him a few days ago. Perhaps this was an olive branch. An apology, even.
Gabby nodded her head before he opened the front door for her and they walked back inside 
 
 
 
They sat by the window, in a booth in an old-style diner with waitresses dressed in short colourful dresses and white aprons. There was still a vibe between them. The tension had eased slightly but they still weren’t themselves, but they went through the motions. Said all the right things, it just didn’t feel right.
She sipped her second cup of coffee and played with the fires on her plate. Dipping it in the yolk of her egg,
“Do you think they will be okay?”
“They have been in worse situations”.
“That’s not what I asked” she chuckled sweetly.
“They’ll come back; I promise”.
There was silence across the table as they behaved like two teenagers on an awkward date. Suddenly but softly something snapped within her. Whether that be out of annoyance, confusion or loss something out of nowhere snapped quietly.
“What’s going on, Frank?”
“Not quite sure to explain it”
“Try”
He looked out the window for a few seconds and she let him have the space, Gabby kept quiet and waited patiently
“Things aren’t good at home”
“That’s just distance. It will all work out once you get home”
“No, it was like that before I left. Maybe I’m not cut out for the white picket fence. I don’t even know what I am doing when I am there. All I can think about is what I shouldn’t be doing”
“There are a few good groups into town. Maybe you just need a meeting. Bounce some ideas off other people who have been there” he nodded his head “What about us?”
He was quiet again and she let him take his time again. They sipped their coffee and people watched for a minute or two.
“I guess I don’t like sharing you”
“I’m not a tonka truck, Frankie”
“I don’t mean like that” he sighed “I mean you were a name everyone knew. People heard stories about you and you had meet Pope and Benny but you were in this world. You weren’t in this side of my life”
“The dangerous side?”
“That’s another thing. I didn’t want you to get involved in the first place. Pope, made me call you”
“Because you needed help”
“Not from you”
“Why not?”
“Because look what’s happened. No job and you’re slipping back into old habits”
“Frank, this. What’s happening to me is, are things that I had pushed down and never figure out. I never fixed the cause of them. My problems were always going to be there”
“Sebastian”
“Seb knew what he was signing up for and to be truthful so did I. Do you really think I came into this blind? I knew if you were calling. If I was flying out of Europe to help you. I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk down the yellow brick road. Especially if Santi was leading whatever mission you were on”
“Since when do you call him Santi. That’s another thing”
“Frank, he’s been sticking it to me. I’d just be weird if still called him Pope. Don’t you think?”
“Ugh” he said screwing up his face
“I’m not a babe in the woods anymore”
“You’ll always be a babe”
She smiled at him. Playfully screwed up her napkin and throw it out him.
“You know what I mean”
“I know what you mean”
“Can we just?” she asked
“Yeah” he sighed “Yeah”
“It doesn’t have to be prefect. It just has to be okay”
He reached over and stole a fry off her plate as she smiled and shook her head.
 
#
Gabby let him drive back to the house. She hadn’t let him take care of her in the past few weeks and she knew that he wanted too. She relinquished a tiny piece of her pride and sat in the passenger side with no arguing.
Not out loud, at least.
He parked in front of the garage as they both hopped out Frankie noticed the strange look on Gabby’s face
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. Something feels off”.
“I’m sure it’s nothing”.
“Yeah” she chuckled as he walked up the front steps “I’m just going to check around the back”
“Gabs” he laughed
“Humour me, would cha?”
She disappeared around the side before he heard Gabby yell his name.
He bolted around the side of the house to see a big unkept man run along the house near the storm shelter. Frankie yelled out as the guy run around the back of the house. Gabby came out from under the house with a plank of wood in her hands.
She hit him over the back as he grunted before grabbing her by the arms. They both hit the ground and rolled down the embankment.
Frankie couldn’t understand why they seemed so far away still. He ran faster.
The guy was one top of Gabby as they both struggled for something.
He slammed her body into the ground so hard that Frankie could heard the air escape her lungs.
Then suddenly he heard it.
A gun shot rang out over the water and into the woods.
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notmuchtoconceal · 1 year ago
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bro, i really wanna talk about ian and mickey from shameless cause it's one of the only long-term onscreen romances which has ever felt viscerally real to me, tho also -- i have mixed feelings about shameless generally, for it's an americanization of a foreign property which hooked me for its direct proximity to and immersion in my local culture, though also -- that direct proximity highlights certain unrealities of the broadcast medium more generally, namely that like -- bro, these neighborhoods. these areas. they're not this fuckin white.
the southside of chicago has not been this white since my parents were kids. bro, i had to listen to my mother bitch on long car rides about how polish and irish the neighborhood used to be when she was a kid, before you know ... the mexicans moved in. meanwhile, my father is half-mexican. it's just his mother was as covert narc assimilationist bruja who ate his soul so he had to soak up all the racial inferiority installs in lieu of developing a personality. yeah, man. be a trumper. build the wall. that your own people work harder and cheaper than you is the problem, not the extant system of financial exploitation pressured you to be a work-drone over withstanding the battery of persuing an education.
bro, when you fucking live in these places and see how people are, and you're sitting there watching this enticing fantasy, it's like -- you're thinking about these white actors from some other place coming in, with a production crew, and you wonder if the crew is local, how much is out of sight, how is this exchange of labor taking place, blah blah.
like, there's one black character on the show. there's one black character, and sometimes you'll see black extras in the background, but they're not extras. they're the people who live in these neighborhoods, sitting on their porches, watching the show being filmed -- being included in the shot and not making too much of a fuss.
she's real good, don't get me wrong.
their next-door neighbor, she's great. i haven't watched the show in years, and I don't remember their names. i love her boyfriend, too. her boyfriend, he's perfect. i don't know where he's from, but he captures the same vibe as my childhood best friend and their dynamic is great. total southside vibes. it's real, like ian and mickey's relationship is real and it buoys you through what appears as a demographic anachronism.
so, yeah, the show is extra weird cause it hits so close.
like, it's deffo true that racial injustice is being more frequently insincerely weaponized to score purity points in a pick-me economy of abandoned children playing penance for the cameras to use your ego to distract you from the multiple concurrent genocides taking place rn, but like...
sometimes you're just trying to watch entertainment and how weird and fake it is is distracting in a way no good-faith suspension of disbelief can overcome cause it's baked into the economic realities of the production itself. you can see how it's trying to do good despite its limitations, but it can feel like an excuse in-defense of their complicity with the systems they're in and it would be complicity itself not to say so aloud.
like, when you live with people and see how the collective fantasy of white supremacy chops and dices their minds on the block, jiggling them into bits in a salad to be rearranged, oh my God bro.
i'm fuckin remembering when i was a teen and how all the cute lil brown boys and girls would attach themselves to me cause my gigantic towering pale tree body functioned like an apotropaic charm against the police, which they regarded not as protectors of their property rights, but state-controlled gangs who sometimes countered, sometimes collaborated with -- the local criminal gangs. it was as though i was a fanciful wizened oak or a maypole and the police were not guardians, but hostile elemental forces which at times were the lesser of two evils.
i don't think a white person can talk about white supremacy without it somehow being either a humblebrag or insincere fawning.
i think to frame this discussion as being about "white supremacy" is tricking you into thinking about the thing you wanna get away from.
don't know what this might reveal about differences in worldview.
remember other people are real humans with real feelings.
thank you.
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sugar-vi421 · 2 years ago
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𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 | 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯
Bus Ticket.
tw: strong language.
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  THE FIRST DAY IN ROSEVILLE
I Close my car door with my keys in hand, you could hear the jingling sound from them as I walk up to the front of the house. The House had looked a bit different than I remembered...there was fresh new paint on the front door and there was no chipping in the wood. I step up on the stairs to porch and to my surprise I didn't hear one creak. Mom must have gotten this place fixed up after Grandma Millie passed, who knows...maybe she wanted to sell it.
I take a breath in, smelling in the scent of cut grass making me want to sneeze a little.
It's kind of weird being back here, now that I've gotten older, I notice the house is a bit creepy, especially since the backyard is a big open space that leads right to the woods.
Grandma Millie told me to never go into those woods and that it was dangerous...
But I was a kid, and I didn't believe her-
"Hey excuse me ma'am!"
I turn around and see a moving service truck parked with the back open and 2 workers in their uniform, I ordered a service due to the fact I had a bunch of boxes, and I didn't feel like going back and forth on a 1-hour drive for a couple of boxes.
It was already 7 pm, and yes I decided to go later in the day because I forgot to pack all my stuff.
"All of your things have already been placed in the house, I just need you to sign here confirming we were here." He said in an annoyed tone basically shoving the clipboard and pen into my hands, I sign on the line, I gave him back the pen and he just walked away.
Rude much.
I went inside and like he said, everything was there. I look around and it looks exactly how I remembered it; I take a step back and I accidentally bump into something-
"Ouch"
-or someone...?
"I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention"- The man just let out an awkward laugh and scratched the back of his head,
He was a hot mess.
"Oh no its okay, I was just looking around the house. It looks the same, but the vibe is oddly different?" I smell the fresh paint on the walls, I look around the room one more time and in the corner of my eye I see an outline for a tiny door opening under the stairs.
Strange, that was never there before.
"Yeah, especially with that new guy in town...people think its not safe anymore and I agree. It's a bit weird that you decided to return to Roseville now with everything going on." He said while his smile faded as soon as he mentioned that it wasn't safe.
New guy? Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
"Wait what are you talking about?" If I knew about this, I would've said no and stood up my own parents that evening. I don't care if its mean or whatever you probably said behind that little screen of yours.
He laughed and I just stood there feeling left out which I was, when he noticed I wasn't laughing he slowly stopped smiling.
"You really don't know? I shake my head no and he gripped part of his sleeve, he went to say something but stopped. Almost as if he was trying to find the right words to say.
Been there, but he really needs to start explaining who this guy is.
                              - ??? POV
                              9:54 pm
I rummage through my purse looking for my bus ticket I had just bought earlier,
God, I need a car...
Wow Sabrina, only if you had listened to your sister and took her offer on getting a ride.
But no, of course not.
The bus pulls up and I still can't find my ticket, I stop digging through my bag and look around quickly, I see my ticket on the floor, I run to grab it and as soon as I did, I turned around to see the same bus I needed to get home on leave.
Just my fucking luck.
Groaning I start walking, its about to be 10pm already and I just walked out from this horrible first date, it wasn't even the place that was bad, He didn't even offer to pay...He just said bye and walked out to his fancy car. Hopefully I can walk fast and get home...with a nice warm relaxing bath waiting for me.
The streets were empty, no one is usually out at this time. All I can hear are my heels clicking as my foot hits the ground and the things in my purse moving around when I walk.
Then I hear a pair of footsteps walking behind me, I don't look back however because they are a bit far away and what if they missed their bus like I did?
The footsteps started to get louder meaning they were getting closer.
I turned around to look behind me and I see a man with a hoodie on, I couldn't see his face because he was looking down, but I did see something sticking out of his pocket, it was metal because I can see the light from the streetlamp reflecting off from it but when I saw the back handle connected too it my heart dropped immediately.
This was not happening to me.
Please no.
I quickly turn back around and picked up the pace which I was walking.
But so did the man.
I saw a few lights and see a building up ahead, but I needed to make a turn.
He was getting closer, and my heart was racing faster.
I started to run, I ran and went right, and I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, the building was about 2 blocks away and all the houses I've just past either had for sale signs up or the lights were off.
I slowed down and looked behind me to see the man was gone, I stopped to listen, and he was gone. I sighed out of relief.
I turned back around.
And there he was standing with the same knife I saw earlier, but this time he had on a hooded robe with a rubber white mask with black eyes, nose and mouth all black, the robe was black as well so all you could really see was his mask and the knife he was holding.
I started to slowly walk back, and he walked towards me,
Then I ran.
At this point I'm crying and running for my life in heels, I ran back to where the bus was and decided to go around so I can go to the nearest open building and ask for help.
However this is when my heel decided it didn't want to continue anymore, I tripped as one of the heels on my shoes snapped in half, I got up quickly as I saw the man getting closer as he was walking towards me, I take off the shoes and started to just run but he swinged his knife at me as I got up and slashed me in the arm. As a reflex I hit him with my bag in my other hand making him drop his knife.
He went to look for his knife as it landed somewhere in a bush, and I just took off.
Thank God.
I saw a police station up ahead; from any other view you'd see me just running with my hand on my arm bleeding with no shoes on and messed up hair. I looked crazy.
I got to the doors and opened it just shouting for help, the officers at the front saw me and immediately rushed to my side asking me what happened, and they saw the long cut on my arm and sat me down.
They patched my arm up and gave me some painkillers with a small cup of water. I had no idea of how I was going to get home or when for that matter since they wanted to ask me a few questions about what happened to me.
But I was just glad I was safe now.
"There have been multiple reports of missing persons over just this past month, and sadly the ones who were left have been found dead with numerous amounts of wounds, specifically stab wounds.
Earlier today there was a paper written by Jed Olsen, some of you may have read this paper already today but according to the article this new killer has been revealed with the video surveillance at what seems to be a victim's home, the camera was set by the killer and left there for the police to gather as evidence. The Surveillance shows the victim being stabbed while trying to escape the grasp of our newly town stalker. We have no more information for the killer now being named by the media as..."
...
"The Ghostface."
"Please remember to get home safely, lock all your doors and to be home at 9pm as the police have set a town curfew. We don't want any adults and children getting hurt. Be safe everyone."
I listened in on the news that was playing from the small tv in the corner, everyone's attention was on it and oh my god.
That's him-
I started to shout, and everyone looked at me.
That's the guy who just chased me and tried to kill me...
                                  - Luci's POV
"Wow I had no idea this town had changed from being the perfect place to raise a family into a place where no one is truly safe anymore..." I looked down and my hands just to realize how happy I was to return and now...not so much.
It's really shocking, a serial killer of all things?? Did I jinx myself-
I swear I need to stop doing that.
Even better that I work for the FBI investigating these types of people. How Fitting.
"Yeah, it's a shame really. I must go now but be careful out there! It was nice seeing a fresh face for once." The guy laughed as he walked out, halfway to the truck he looked back and waved and I waved back.
Speaking of serial killers and all of that...I wonder what I'll be working on when I start.
Should be totally unrelated to that stalker guy.
I hate saying stalker guy, he needs a name.
                      A FEW HOURS LATER
                                    10:32pm
I just finished a warm shower after getting all my boxes and bags unpacked and I settled in what used to be my old parent's room for when they used to stay over. I couldn't bring myself to take my old grandmother's room.
I sit at my desk and grab my laptop from my bag, I search up this infamous stalker only to see 12 people found dead either in their homes or in their own office within 2 months.
Wow this guy must have been doing this for a long time before Roseville. Not one clue to who he is except for those cheap videos he sends to the police.
I take out my phone and download an app linked to Roseville news reports so whenever he decides to strike again, I'll know, or for any reason I'll just get the notification. I scroll on random apps on my phone for a few minutes until I start yawning.
I look at the time and it's getting late I should get some sleep.
I put down my phone on the side table next to the bed and put it on the charger, I unfold the blanket I packed with me and set the bed, lifting up one side of the blanket I get under, turning to the side table turning of the lamp and getting in a comfortable position heading to sleep.
1:34 am
Ding!
"23-year-old, Sabrina Madden was found dead in her bedroom by her boyfriend, after reportedly being followed and attacked by a man with a white mask earlier that night. Swipe right to read more."
– ROSEVILLE NEWS.
- an
Finally I got done with this chapter and really I just wanted to point out something that may be a little confusing, when the guy is explaining about this killer that's out and about, the part where this girl getting chased didn't happen yet. To them Ghostface isn't revealed yet and its just been a few people who have been found yk. The chase actually happened when luci is unpacking her things and the notification is later that night so I just wanted to clear that up since I confused myself when re- reading this over lol. ANYWAYS give me feedback if you feel you want to share anything!! <3
TAG LIST :
@infinitewhore @mama-miya @m4gn3ziu @sleepyashe
note to be tagged again <3
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hannie-dul-set · 3 years ago
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PAIRING. huang renjun x fem! reader. GENRE. high school! au, suggestive. WARNINGS. attempted murder, mentions of blood and self injury, veryy descriptive kissing, mc has a few screws lost, swearing, depictions of unstable behavior. WORD COUNT. 1.8k GENRAL TAGLIST. @danishmiilk @wownajaemin @leejunini @astroboy-lele @unknown5tar @yunoyeol @w0nni3wrld @charm-art @bat-shark-repellant @keemburley @deliciouslyyellow​ (pls dm me to be added/removed!)
NOTE. ah yes, the only two genres: murder and making out. inspired by the dream i mentioned earlier. different events, but same vibe HAHA. disclaimer that no matter how much you hate your academic rival, never ever turn to attempted murder! thank you and enjoy
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huang renjun— with all his picture perfect smiles, prim and proper tucked in shirts, a pretty face enough to have you on your knees, and with a perfect gpa to top it all off— was someone you wanted.
wanted six feet under the ground.
“hey, congrats!”
speak of the fucking devil.
“you always do really well,” huang renjun towers over you in front of your desk as you sit down. you look up from the wrinkled certificate that have the abhorrent words second honorable mention printed on it's scented surface, only to face his fucking face instead. he beams at you with a smile. you feel convulsions wringing inside your throat. “congratulations again.”
you don't miss the first honor certificate tucked between his books in a measly attempt of concealment. it takes everything in your power to force out something of a smile.
“thanks. you too.”
with that, he quickly scurries away into his seat next to yours with red ears.
your first period teacher enters, beginning class with a greeting, but your mind is elsewhere.
it’s only midterms, you breathe out through your nose, hugging your arms above your desk while sketching out a study plan for the rest of the semester in your head. there’s enough time before graduation. the hold you had on yourself gradually becomes tighter.
still, you know that even if you worked yourself day and night until you bled cold and crimson, huang renjun would still be one step ahead. you bite down your lip, peeling off the dry skin with a sourness writhing in your gut, digging your fingers deeper into your arms. if only he were gone. you leer at the boy diligently taking his notes beside you. if only he were gone gone gone gone—
your eyes widen, ignoring the blood staining your nails.
if only he were gone.
after class, you walk up to his desk and asked if he wanted to work on the physics homework at his place tomorrow. he says yes with starry eyes in a heartbeat.
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the next day, renjun couldn’t wait for the final bell to ring. you, too, couldn’t remain in your seat— albeit for a different reason. so when the ringing occurs, the both of you don’t waste a second in finally heading out of the campus.
it’s a silent walk to his place, a standard suburban neighborhood, the sky slowly turning orange in the background. every time you turn your head to look at him, he looks back with a small smile, and you can’t help your hands from twitching at your sides.
renjun unlocks the door and meekly welcomed you inside.
“you can leave your shoes here,” he says, digging his keys into the back pocket of his school slacks with dangling noises. you look at him, smiling, and with a soft hum you leave your school shoes next to his, trailing behind him into the living room.
looking around, you ask him. “are your parents home?” there was an opening that leads to the kitchen, glass doors showing the backyard. the stairs that lead to the second floor are made of sleek, dark oak. it’s a modern interior. they have a fireplace inside.
“no,” he breathes out, wetting his dry throat with a swallow before turning back to face you. “they’re out on business. i don’t think they’ll be home until the weekend.”
the both of you stop right in front of the staircase.
“i see.”
he quickly muffles a cough and leads you up to his room.
the inside of renjun’s room is neat— organized books on the shelf and sheets neatly pressed. There’s a set of candles beside his bed. you hold back a scoff. as expected from the top student.
your eyes flit over from the window above his bed to look at him, instead.
“you don’t have to be so nervous around me, you know,” you muse, dropping down your bag to join him on the floor. worksheets littered with numbers and constants, gravity and acceleration, all scatter on the floor. they blow with the wind knowing that they wouldn’t even be filled in, anyway.
“sorry,” renjun sputters out, loosening his striped necktie with two fingers. his vision is kept trained on the wall behind you. “i’m not— i’m not doing it on purpose.”
you adjust your legs on the floor, skirt riding. “is there a reason?”
“a reason?” he gulped.
“why you can’t look me in the eye.”
renjun thinks he sees the corners of your lips twitching upwards.
“i’ll— i’ll go open the window, it’s a little hot in here, isn’t it?” scrambling to his feet, his knees sink into the navy sheets of his bed, reaching for the window in a nervous flurry to let the air in. “the news said that the temperature’s slowly gonna start rising but i didn’t think it would be—”
he bumps into you when he turned back.
there’s a click from behind him.
the wind stopped coming in.
“it’s not really that hot.”
the way your breath fanned against his lips makes his head spin in circles.
you have an arm out against the glass, your sleeve’s fabric grazing his tempered cheek when you went to shut the window down. renjun feels a ghost in the air where there’s a space in between you. “i— i guess you’re right,” he says, clearing his throat. “i never expected that you’d ask to work together.”
there’s syrup at the end of your sentence. “you seemed pretty happy when i did, though.”
he isn’t sure if it’s just him or if you’re slowly getting closer. “well, that’s— that’s because i—”
“you don’t have to say it.”
your voice digs deep into his bones like chains of velvet. he can feel your chest pressing against him now, crushing the sense of rationality that he was bestowed with from birth and is replaced with a warm lush of rabid, violent waters gushing into bit of him stomach,
it comes off a whisper yet it sends him reeling.
“i know.”
renjun swallows. hard. but he’s afraid you’d hear the manifestations of a tempered restlessness that had managed to crawl its way up to the tips of his fingers— which found themselves resting onto the curve of your back. stray strands of his swair sweeps above his eyes, obscuring the closeness of your face, and he wants to ask how. how did you know that he likes you.
he never got to.
the question doesn’t even get to resurface after the first hit of your cherry flavored chapstick, his bottom lip caught in between yours, teeth grinding against the plush, pink skin. the second hit has his decorum slowly peeling away from his skin when his tongue traces over yours in a hot mess of delirium, when you settle between his legs, a coarse groan vibrating in his throat. the third has him forgetting his own name.
his eyes are hazy when you pull back with a rough smacking of the mouth. with a short-winded voice, you ask him.
“do you mind if i make a call?”
renjun looks at you in a fit of breathlessness.
an airy laugh leaves your lips that he can’t stop staring at. you press a kiss on his nose. “my parents need to know that i won’t be going home tonight.”
dazed, he answers. “y-yeah, sure.”
he blinks a few times before letting you go.
“take your time.”
you send him a smile before fishing your backpack from the floor and leaving the room.
just like that, a switch was flipped.
upon closing the door, you quickly twist the knob, locking it with the keys that you’d snatched from him earlier. it’s convenient that he has each one labelled— a belated thank you to your school’s ever organized golden boy who never fails to make you sick in the stomach.
at each wall you pass, you make sure to seal the windows shut and have all the doors closed. the contents of your bag make steady pangs against your back as you shuttled down the stairs. you lock the back door shut, close all the windows, turn on all the lights, and throw a match into their fireplace, waiting for the fire to come to full bloom. all that’s left is the kitchen.
there’s no time wasted in turning everything on— the microwave, oven, and the stove until you can't crank them any further. embers fly into the air. it’s getting hotter. you duck down to the compartment under the stove to reveal a white painted propane tank, taking out a cordless soldering iron to seal the safety relief valve close. you place a rag over the opening valve and twist it halfway through. a hissing sound whizzes through the air.
with that, you leave through the front door, locking it for good measure. his keys disappear into the bush nearest to their porch.
it’s only a matter of time until huang renjun ceases to be a pest anymore. if not for good, then at least lethally injured.
you head home to finish your physics worksheets that were due tomorrow.
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for the first time in god knows how long, you wake up and head to school with a well rested air.
you take your things out of your backpack, humming a soft tune right before the bell rings for your first class. your other seatmate— donghyuck— notices your unusual cheery demeanor, and inquires about its oddities. you simply answer him with an allusion to finally being free. he laughs it off and turns his head to the chalkboard.
five minutes before eight. the doors creak open. you’re ready to stand and greet your teacher until you realize that it isn’t her.
it’s not.
it’s not.
it’s not.
something nauseating knocks into your lungs and stifles your throat, eyes wide and stinging. it squeezes your neck with poison prickling the surface.
huang renjun enters the classroom with his usual nods and smiles to everyone he passes.
“holy shit, dude. you look like hell.”
“i didn’t get any sleep last night,” he laughs, lightheartedly. “guess i’ll have to sleep through recess.”
your teeth grind against your lips, supple skin turning redder at each nip. your nails leave scratches on the desk as you rattle in your seat, thinking, thinking, panicking. each breath feels like choking on pulverized copper in sulfuric air. there’s a ringing in your ears and you hear nothing except your own voice screaming why is he here why is he here why is he here?
he doesn’t go to his desk. he’s standing right in front of you.
“you look well.”
it sears your fingerprints off your skin.
you don’t answer, don’t even look at him. he breaks into a small smile and leans forward, one hand pressed against your desk and the other reaching for a lock of your hair as he nears and nears and nears. “there’s something here,” he says.
there isn’t.
“you left my window unlocked, baby.”
his hot breath hits your cold cheek, tucking a strand behind with a smile. to everyone else, it would look sweet— heart fluttering. to you it was a death sentence. renjun breathes out a contained chuckle into your ear before letting his hand fall on your shoulder, a tight grip at the last second.
“better luck next time.”
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© HANNIE-DUL-SET. 2021.
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viking-raider · 4 years ago
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Southern Generation - Part VII
Summary: Some big things happen between Sy and Lily, before they had back home to Celina, where they build a nest for their growing family.
Pairing: Captain Syverson/OFC
Word Count: 11,617
Warning: M - Language, Fluff, Angst, Smut - intercourse and sorta exhibitionism and mention of bodily fluids, Domestic bliss, Traditions - new and old
Inspiration: Sy and the hunk of man he is!
Author's Note: Much love to @wondersofdreaming for being a stand up beta and friend.
Tag List Blog: @viking-raider-taglist
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“Where have the two of you been?” Lily asked, coming down the stairs as Sy and her grandfather came out of his study.
“Just having a chat.” Sy smiled up at her.
“Lily, I have something I need to say to you.” Davis said, looking up at his granddaughter.
“Yeah, you know what, I have something I need to say to you too.” Lily replied, planting her hands on her hips.
“Oh, lord.” Sy mumbled under his breath, knowing the look of this stance, and cleared his throat.
“All right.” Davis nodded, biting his lip. “You can go first, then.” He told her, motioning with his hand.
“Good.” Lily nodded back. “I don't appreciate the way you've been treating me since we arrived this morning. I understand that I hurt you by running off like I did, but Sy is right. I didn't have to tell you I was going or why I was going.” She told him, firmly. “I know that you were hurt and worried about me, because of the past trauma of what happened with my parents and my birth, but this and we-” She motioned between herself and Sy.
“Are not my parents and that situation, and you need not to treat it like it is.”
Davis bit his lip and looked at the dark and scuffed wood of the hallway floor, trying to hold back the smile that wanted to pull across his lips. Lily's fire reminded him so much of himself, and in a way, of his Daisy.
“You're right, Lily.” He finally spoke, looking up at her, taking a deep breath.
“I have been a down right jerk to you and Austin, and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me for it. I love you so very much, Lily. You are my granddaughter. You are the only thing of my precious daughter I have left and I don't want to lose that, or you. Let alone the beautiful great-grandbaby you have growing inside of you.”
Lily pressed her lips together, her bottom one quivering as her eyes shined with building tears. “I do forgive you.” She blubbered, sniffling at him.
Davis opened his arms to her and Lily rushed into them, colliding with his chest. He smiled and squeezed his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, trying to hold back his own tears. Sy stood beside them, grinning that the two of them had reconciled their differences and became close again, truly hoping that it remained that way.
“Dave?”
Letting out a disappointed huff, he let Lily go and turned towards the sound of his name, finding one of his work hands standing in the open doorway. “What is it?” He asked, lifting a brow at him.
“Mac thinks he found a way to save the York tree.” The hand replied, sheepish eyes darting between the three of them.
Davis looked down at Lily, a tinge of sadness in his eyes.
“I'll see you at dinner.” Lily told him, giving his hand a squeeze and gave him a reassuring look.
He smiled at her, kissing her temple, then followed his worker out the door. Lily turned to Sy and wrapped her arms around his waist, sighed into his chest, a mile-wide smile on her face as she thought about the good vibe she had after what had just transpired with her grandfather. Sy smiled and hugged her back, rubbing his palms up and down her back and resting his chin on top of her head, content and happy.
“Thank you.” She said as they entered her bedroom.
“For what?” He frowned, sitting down on her bed.
“All of this probably wouldn't have happened, if it wasn't for you.” She told him, motioning around her room. “I still would have been cowering at the house in Celina. Too afraid of my own shadow, let alone the outside world. You've given me strength and hope again.” She stood in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, tilting his head back to look up at her.
“Thank you, Austin Syverson.” She whispered, kissing him, softly.
Sy wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, nuzzling his face into her neck. “It was all you, Angel.” He cooed, his breath warm against her skin. “I just drove you here.” He told her, rubbing his nose against the spot just below her ear.
Lily narrowed her eyes. “You and my grandfather talked about me, didn't you?” She asked, connecting the dots.
“Whatever gave you that idea, sweet lips?” He asked, grinning into her jaw.
“The two of you holed up in his office for forty-five minutes.”
“Oh now, darling.” Sy chuckled, pressing his lips to her jawbone. “My dearest, sweetest, love.”
“Wyatt.”
“Listen to that tone.” Sy exclaimed, rocking back and looking at her. “That's the tone. You sound like such a mama already.” He grinned at her, licking his lips.
“It's so hot.”
“You're turned on by that?”
“Watching your tummy steadily round out with my babe inside of you; knowing my seed filled you like a water balloon.” His smirk turned into something far more sultry as he stared her clothed belly, like he was entranced by a snake charmer. “Thinking about having kids with you, about our kids and you being pregnant with them, is just so fucking sexy and alluring to me.”
“Lord, oh lordy.” Lily chuckled, shaking her head at him.
“I've always wanted a lot of kids.” He blurted out, semi-coming out of his trance. “I know what it's like to be an only child, and it sucks.”
“I know what it feels like too.” Lily agreed, biting her lip. “But, I never thought about having kids. I never thought I'd have kids.”
Sy frowned at her. “Why?”
“Jak doesn't like kids.” She mumbled, glancing down at her lap.
“Ah.” He nodded, understanding. “I love kids.” He smiled at her, softly.
“How many do you want?” Lily asked, tilting her head at him.
“Let's see how many the good Lord gives us.” He replied, gently kissing the corner of her mouth. “There's no rush.” He whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying a quiet moment with her, before they were called down to a dinner of Lily's favorite honey-lemon glazed salmon and asparagus.
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“They're sleeping in the same room?” Davis asked, watching Lily and Sy go into her room, after they all said good night to each other.
“Davis, they already have a little one on the way. What are they going to do, make a second one on top of it?” Violet chuckled, shaking her head at her husband, then rolled into their master bedroom.
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Sy stepped out onto the front pouch with a cup of coffee in hand, a grin instantly touching his face as he saw Lily on the lawn with Aika. She was wearing a knee length, cotton sundress with a floral design that accentuated her baby bump, the skirt billowing around her thighs in the warm morning breeze, ruffling her shoulder length hair and carrying her laughter back to him on the porch as her and the German Shepard played around on the lush green grass together. He cradled his cup in both hands and leaned on the porch railing to continue watching.
“You watch her, like you're watching through the gates of heaven.” Violet's voice said behind him.
“That's because I am.” Sy replied, not moving or looking away from Lily. “She's my slice of heaven on earth.” He said, eyes brightening as Lily turned and noticed him, smiling at him, and smiled back at her.
“Penny for your thoughts, Bear?” Lily asked, coming up to the porch with Aika.
“A penny is too poor for the thoughts I'm having, Angel.” He replied, grinning at her and pushing off the porch railing.
“I'm going to take my nap.” She said, standing beside him an intense exhaustion washing over her.
“All right.” Sy nodded, brushing the back of his knuckles across her cheek, before leaning in to gently kiss her. “I'll come lay with you.” He whispered, following her inside and upstairs to her room, setting his coffee cup on the table in her room, toed out of his boots and crawled into bed with her; Aika jumping onto the foot of the bed with them.
“Hm, Austin.” Lily whimpered, wiggling, as his hand found its way to her breast and cupped it in his palm, gently squeezing it.
“Does it hurt?” He asked, picking up his head to look down at her, concerned.
“No.” She sighed back, brow ceased. “But, you've been awfully attached to them lately.”
“They're bigger.” He grinned, laying his head back down.
“I'm pregnant with your kid.” She retorted with a snort. “They're prepping to start lactating, so I can start breastfeeding that caveman sized appetite they're going to no doubt have.”
“Both of us.”
“Uh-oh no!” Lily hooted, shaking her head and rolling over onto her back to look at his face. “You are not!”
“Why not?” Sy grinned at her, devilishly licking his lips. “Milk's good for you. Especially breast milk.”
Lily slapped both of her palms to her face, grinning and blushing wildly. “You are so weird.” She giggled, shyly.
“Am I weird, or are you just a sweet sheltered, little, home-schooled girl?” Sy teased back, pressing his hand to her thigh.
Lily looked at him, eyes holding a message that told him she wasn't as amused by his statement as she was, causing Sy to freeze his hand from it's adventure up inside her skirt.
“I'm sorry, babe.” He whispered, biting his lip. “That was too far and not what I meant.” He sighed, kissing her cheek. “I'll let you sleep.” He said, wrapping her up in his arms, feeling like a complete idiot.
But, once Lily was asleep he got up, tiptoeing around the room, before stepping out.
“Is everything all right, Austin?” Violet asked, as she encountered him in the hallway, pulling on his jacket and holding his truck keys.
“Yeah, I just need to go into town.” He replied, giving her a smile and headed out to the truck.
Driving into town, Sy found their store and ran inside, finding everything inside that he had come for, hoping that when Lily woke up from her nap that it would help cheer her up and show her that he was sorry for making such a narrow-minded and dumb-ass comment about how she was raised. He was driving back to the Warren's, when he was stopped at a red light and something caught the attention of his peripheral vision. He stared at it so long, he missed the light changing and the cars behind him started honking and screaming out their windows at him.
“Fuck.” He snapped, stepping on the gas and spinning the steering wheel sharply into a U-Turn, an illegal one at that, but Sy didn't care, as he pulled into the parking lot of the store that had absorbed his attention.
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“Sy?” Lily whimpered, sitting up in bed, after not feeling the warmth of his body behind her, and got out of bed in search of him. “Austin.” She called, peeking into the bathroom, but found nothing, before she went downstairs.
“Oh, miss. I was told to give this to you, when you woke up.” the servant said, handing her a note.
“Thanks, Mina.” She replied, taking the note and unfolding it, recognizing Sy's handwriting.
Lily, meet me under your favorite apple tree. - Sy.
“How does he know my favorite apple tree?” Lily frowned at the note, shaking her head, but tucked the note away and went outside.
Lily went out into the northwest orchard of the farm, to where her favorite apple tree was deep in the center of that grove of trees. She remembered going out there often as a girl, especially on cool summer nights, to read by the glow of fireflies or the moon, or if neither of them were out, she would sneak an old oil lamp out of the work barn and take it out to the tree, and read by.
She wondered what Sy wanted with it.
When she was a few yards away from the tree, she noticed a difference amongst the fallen apples and leaves that blanketed the ground, there were oddly shaped, cherry-red leaves. She stopped and examined them, when she realized they weren't leaves at all. They were rose petals. Leading up to her apple tree, that she continued to approach, finding Sy standing beneath it.
“What is this, Austin?” She asked, shaking her head, and motioning to the blue gingham picnic blanket he had laid under the apple tree; the gold plaque staked among its roots told the reader it was a Rall's Genet apple tree, the first planted on the Warren farm, in 1785, by Ambrose Cecil Warren.
“I was an ass.” Sy replied, taking a deep breath and biting his lip. “When you were falling asleep for your nap, and it wasn't right of me, or nice of me, to say what I said to you. I'm so sorry I said it.”
“So, this is my peace offering.” He told her, motioning to the items on the blanket.
Lily chuckled, stepping closer, and seeing her favorite Ben and Jerry's, Brownie Batter Core ice cream, a bag of pretzels, Cherry Punch, Sweet Tart ropes and two bottles of Voss water. “You really didn't have too.” She said, looking up at him, touched at his attempt anyway.
“You know that?”
“Be it as it may, I still want to make it up to you.” He replied, taking her hand and helped her sit down on the blanket, then joined her. “The ice cream might be a little melted. But, I know how much you love it that way.” He chuckled, pulling off the lid to the pint sized container.
“You know me so well.” Lily giggled, taking the white plastic spoon and the pint of ice cream from him. “So, how did you find out this was my tree?” She asked, spooning a mouthful of ice cream into her mouth.
“I remember you telling me about a specific tree on the property.” Sy replied, picking up a bag of shelled, sunflower seeds that he loved to snack on. “I also asked your grandmother.” He grinned, slyly.
“Smooth, Syverson. Smooth.” She chuckled, shaking her head at him.
It was serene and lazy as they sat on the blanket, enjoying their treats.
But, Lily put the lid back on her half-eaten ice cream and turned, laying back to put her head in Sy's lap, closing her eyes to the sound of the breeze rustling through the grass and tree branches over their heads, the chirp of grasshoppers and crickets, the birds singing and twittering, as they nested or flew and their wings fluttered through the warm and humid air. She sighed and smiled softly, her hand resting on her belly. Sy looked down at her and smiled too, ghosting his fingers through her bangs and against her forehead, he loved the soft and peaceful expression on her face and how relaxed her body was, obviously enjoying the tranquility around them, as was he.
He tipped his head back, seeing the little Blue Jay sitting on the branch above them, singing its little heart out and smiled at it, then glanced back down at Lily, his smile growing a little brighter. Lily stirred, not realizing she had dozed off a little bit, until she had felt Sy touch the hand she had on her belly, but he just smiled at her, a strange sparkle in his blue eyes.
“I love you, Lily.” He whispered to her, stroking the top of her hand. “I've loved you for such a very long time.” He told her, biting the corner of his lip “My sweet Angel.”
He grinned, brushing his finger down the bridge of her nose and over her lips, tracing her brows and gently touching her cheek. “There's no one in the world I want to be with. No one I want to bear and battle the world with, other than you, Lily Ana.” He told her, stroking her hair, the tip of his finger following the shell of her ear.
“You've become the purest love of my life and my Battle Buddy.” He told her and curved his hand around hers, lifting it from her belly and to her face.
Lily's face grew slack, her mouth dropping open and her eyes wide as he showed her what was on her hand, what he had put on her finger. “Sy!” She snapped, sitting up. “Wyatt.” She gulped and licked her lips, shocked, and looked at him.
“Austin.” She whimpered, her voice cracking as she stared at the ring on her finger.
“Will you marry me, Lily Ana?” Sy asked her properly, fidgeting nervously, scared out of his wits that Lily would turn him down, and her no would be worse than a gunshot wound to the heart.
It had been an utter impulse that he had been sucked into the sight of that jewelry store on the way back after going to the store, for the ice cream and candy.
At first, he had only meant to look at the engagement rings, but as soon as he saw the one he had just slipped onto her finger, it was like someone had stepped into Sy's body, pointing it out to the jeweler and pulling out his bank card to pay for it; watching him put it in the black velvet box and hold it out to him was surreal. It felt heavy in his pocket as he walked back out to the truck, but not heavy with the regret that he had fallen into the impulse to buy the ring, but heavy with hope that he would find the courage to present it to Lily and she would say yes, heavy with worry that Lily would reject his proposal.
“Yes!” Lily answered a split second later.
“Really!” He snapped back, shocked, but completely delighted.
“Yes, Austin.” She laughed at him. “Yes, yes, yes! I will marry you, you silly Bear!”
“Oh, thank fuck.” Sy let out in a huff, catching her up in his arms. “I am so glad you said yes. I was afraid you would say no.” He said against her cheek.
Lily smiled into his neck. “I would never.” She chuckled, hugging her arms around him. “Not in a million years.” She whispered, kissing his cheek.
“I know it's not much.” He said, touching the round, one-fourth carat diamond setting with his thumb.
“It doesn't have to be, Sy.” She told him, shaking her head. “You are enough.”
Sy smiled at her, cupping the back of her head and pulled her into a deep and tender kiss. Lily melted into him, slowly shifting into his lap and gripping his shoulders, rubbing down on him. Sy smirked into their kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressed them flush together.
“Lily.” He panted against her lips, his eyes dark and teasing.
“I need you so bad now.” She giggled, blushing and shy.
Sy's laugh rang out in the air, grinning. “Let's go back then.”
“I am not having sex in the same house my grandparents are in.” Lily protested, squeezing her knees to the outside of his hips. “That is a big double O negative, Captain Syverson.”
“Is there somewhere else we could go?”
“There's two places, the work barn and the garage, and both are busy this time of day.” She replied, pressing her lips to his throat, impatient and horny; a side effects of her pregnancy.
“All right then.” Sy chuckled.
He lifted her dress just enough to obstruct his access, then pulled open his belt and the button of his jeans, pushing down his zipper and lifted his hips enough to wiggle his jeans and boxers down his thighs to free his hardening cock.
“Your panties.” He huffed, annoyed that the thin material was in their way. “No!” He growled, as she started to push herself up onto her feet to slip her underwear off.
“We can't have sex with them on.” Lily groaned back, impatiently.
“We're not.” He scoffed, fingers curling around the band of her panties and with a loud rip, tore them off of her. “Problem solved, Princess.” He grinned at her, his face dark with desire.
Lily smirked back at him, rubbing against him and spreading her slick juices all over his manhood, making Sy's eyes roll in the back of his head, hands gripping her hips through the fabric of her sundress. Lily reached underneath the skirt of her dress and wrapped her fingers around the hot skin of his hard member, feeling the throb of the thick vein beneath it pulse against her fingers as she stroked him, thin beads of pre-cum coating his shaft and her fingers, making her grasp him firmer.
“Oh, Angel.” Sy panted, licking his lips and resting his head back against the rough bark of the ancient apple tree.
“Not bad for a girl that was sheltered and home-schooled, huh?” She huffed at him, swiping her thumb over the purplish tip of his head and brought it up to her mouth and licked off his juices.
Sy grinned at her though half lidded eyes. “Not at all, Angel. Not at all.” He cooed, then hissed when she wrapped her hand around him again and squeezed, rubbing his weeping tip against her dripping pussy.
“You're teasing me, Lily.”
“Am I?” She purred back, her voice deep and sultry, grinning at him.
“Is this you getting even with me?”
“It's possible.” Lily chuckled, just slipping his tip into her core for a moment, before pulling it out again.
“Oh, Lily Ana.” Sy laughed, his voice a little hoarse, sweat breaking out on his forehead. “You little minx.”
Lily laughed at him. “Coming from the man that would fuck me in any position and place he would, and probably thought he could, in.” She retorted, lifting a brow at him, finally letting his cock enter the canal of her core, sitting in his bare lap.
“All better, Bear?” She cooed at him, pressing her hands to his chest and leaned into him, kissing him.
“I feel like I've corrupted you.” He chuckled against her mouth, rubbing his palms up and down her back, letting her set whatever pace she wanted.
“It's possible.” She replied and gently rolled her hips, taking a deep breath and let it out in a soft moan.
Lily pressed her sweaty forehead against Sy's, wanting to be closer to him, needing to breathe the same air as him, one of her hands slipping behind his head, fingers carding through the short, damp curls at the nape of his neck. Sy held her eyes and bent his knees up a little bit, giving her a little bit of support and shifting his cock inside of her, making her grunt out a delicious moan.
“You always sound so sweet with my cock inside of you.” Sy cooed at her, brushing her wind swept hair out of her face and behind her ears. “My delicious little flower.”
Lily chuckled at him, smirking. “You're a sap.” She huffed, tightening her walls around him, causing him to growl deep in his throat. “You do feel so fucking good though, Bear.” She sighed, licking her lips and bouncing in his lap a little bit faster, while still keeping herself tight around him.
“Lily, I'm gonna come.” Sy grunted, gasping and panting.
He felt the tell-tale tingle in his sack and the pit of his stomach, the way his cock swelled and throbbed against her already taut walls, the wet sounds from their coupling adding to the music of crickets, grasshoppers and birds in the hum of hot and humid air blanketing them, sweat pouring off of them, making almost every inch of their clothing stick and cling to their drenched skin, soaking the fabric. Sy grabbed Lily's hips and thrust up into her, burying himself as deeply as either of their body's would allow him to, his body stiffening as he pumped ribbon after ribbon of hot come into her, the muscles of his stomach spasming with each load.
“Ah, Austin.” Lily cried out, slipping a hand underneath her dress to rub at her clit, giving herself that last bit of stimulation to come, squeezing down on Sy's cock even harder, making him grunt and growl, the muscles in his neck tensing and his face twisting as she milked even more out of him.
“Fuck!” He barked out, breathing between clenched teeth. “Lily!”
Recovering enough, Lily collapsed on top of Sy's chest, listening to his heart thunder in her ear and the soft wheeze to his breathing as it slowly calmed down. Sy sluggishly wrapped his heavy arms around her, turning his red and sweaty face into her damp hair, while Lily watched the diamond on the engagement ring sparkled in the sun, a soft and content smile on her face. So many things were happening that she had given up on; seeing her grandparents again, finding a good and reliable guy, getting married and starting a family. It might all be a bit out of sync, but Lily didn't care, it was still happening and it was happening with Sy.
“Lily?” Sy frowned, alarmed by the painful sounding whimper she suddenly let out and felt her stomach tighten. “What is it?” He asked, sitting up with her.
Lily didn't reply for a moment, instead she reached out and gently cupped his face in her hand, while taking a few deep breaths until the discomfort in her stomach passed. “It's fine, Bear.” She told him, stretching her back. “Just Braxton Hicks. It's perfectly normal at this point.” She sighed.
“Especially after sex.” She assured him, caressing his face with her thumb.
“You're sure?”
“I am.” She nodded, smiling at him. “It's if they last more than two minutes, that we need to worry. But, it was barely thirty seconds.”
Sy nodded at her, but he was only slightly pacified. “I should get you back inside. It's boiling out here.” He said, getting up and pulled her up onto her feet, Sy corrected his jeans, before collecting their picnic stuff, jamming her torn panties into his front pocket and headed back into the house with her.
“Where have the two of you been?” Davis asked as Lily and Sy entered the house.
“We had a little picnic in the orchard.” Lily smiled up at Sy. “Mr. Romantic that Sy is.” She teased him.
“Is that what I think is it?” Violet asked, rolling into the hallway.
Lily froze for a moment, feeling the slickness of her and Sy's love making slowly creeping down the inside of her thigh and felt her heart start to pound, fearing it had become noticeable to her grandmother. But relaxed, when Violet lifted a frail and bony finger, pointing at the ring on her hand instead.
“Uh..” Lily and Sy instantly blushed, grinning like a pair of caught teenagers. “Yeah, it is.”
“You proposed.” Violet grinned at Sy, elated.
“I did.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around Lily's waist, feeling gratified. “It seemed right.” He said, looking into Lily's eyes, softly.
“So, when are you officially tying the knot?” Violet asked, looking between them.
“I don't know.” Lily replied, her eyes still on Sy. “We haven't discussed that yet.”
“We'll get around to talking about it.” Sy nodding back at her. “But, I think, I'm game for a nap right now.”
“Oh, that does sound really good, now that you mention it.” Lily nodded, tired from the heat and their sex. “We should be up in time for dinner.” She said, smiling at her grandparents, then went upstairs with Sy.
“How about a cool shower first?” Sy suggested after they got back upstairs to their room, seeing Lily was still a little sweaty and red. “Wash this sweaty grim off of us and cool off before we nap.”
Lily felt her drying skin and the stickiness between her legs from their combined release. “I think that's a good idea.” She agreed, then followed him into the bathroom.
Sy pulled down the zipper in the back of her dress, then got undressed himself, turning on the shower and making sure it was cool, but not cold, before letting Lily step in first and following in behind her, watching the water wash over her for a few moment. He picked up the bottle of body wash from the shower basket, the scent of white peaches and cream filling the small space as he opened the bottle, moaning softly at the scent he'd become familiar with on her skin of late.
Lily chuckled. “Do I need to change body washes, when we get home, Bear?” She asked, as he started washing the sweaty grim off of her.
“Definitely.” He chuckled, letting her rinse off, then quickly washed himself, not above smelling like peaches too. “Do you have a preference?” Sy asked, after they had settled into bed for their nap.
“Preference for what?” Lily replied, returning to the surface of being awake.
“For what gender you want the baby to be?”
“No.” She shook her head. “But, I do want to continue one thing, if it's a girl.”
“All right.” He nodded. “What is it?”
“The name.” Lily told him. “My great-grandmother's name was Jasmine, my grandmother is Violet, and my mother's name was Daisy..”
“And yours is Lily.” Sy smiled against her shoulder. “All flower themed.”
“Mmhm.” She nodded, starting to tip back off to sleep. “If we have a girl, I want to give her a flower themed name, to continue the tradition.”
“I'm more than all right with that.” He told her, sweet on the idea. “If we have more kids and they're all girls, we'll have a whole flower garden running around the house.” He teased, lightheartedly.
Lily chuckled and snuggled back against him. “The house will smell wonderful.” She teased back, her voice just a faint murmur, before she finally dropped off.
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“Is it really time for you to go?” Violet asked, clutching Lily's hands.
“Sadly, it is.” Lily nodded, gulping down a fresh wave of tears.
Lily and Sy had stayed with her grandparents for nearly a week, which wasn't enough for the three of them to catch up and patch five years of absence, but they all knew it was time. The couple had a life back in Celina, that's where they had started to plant their roots and where they wanted to raise their now expanding family.
“You promise to come back and visit?”
“Nothing can ever prevent that from happening again, Mee-Maw. You have my word.” Lily assured her, squatting down in front of her wheelchair.
“I want to meet my great-grandbaby.”
“That, for sure, is going to happen.” Lily chuckled, a couple of tears escaping. “I wouldn't let you miss that opportunity for anything in the world.” She sniffled, starting to lose the battle on her emotions.
“Vi.” Davis whispered, resting his hand on his wife's shoulder. “Lily has appointments she needs to make, so we can meet our sweet great-grandbaby.” He told her, giving Lily a soft smile, his own brown eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Call me, when you stop for the night, so we know you're safe.” Violet said, giving Lily and Sy a stern look.
Even though they had only known him for less than a week, Sy had become family to the Warrens. Violet had become very grandmotherly towards him, while Davis treated him almost like a son. The two men had really bonded over the fact Sy had been in the military, with Davis having served in the U.S Marine Corps during the Vietnam war, before being honorably discharged for a medical injury, at the rank of Master Sergeant. Sy had realized something as he and Lily packed up the truck that morning, he had driven to Virginia with her so shecould reconnect with her family, but in doing so, he had gained a family in more than just Lily, the baby and Aika. It wasn't what he had been looking for, it had all found him, the whole situation, from taking the contract to fix up Lily's place to the moment they were having with her grandparents.
With every aspect and event he found himself in with Lily, it only made him feel more like he belonged.
“You hear me, Austin?” Violet's voice cut through his thoughts.
“Yes, ma'am.” He nodded, smiling and biting his lip, feeling a hard lump of emotion in his throat. “I'll make sure of it.”
“Good.” She smiled at him, then held her arms out to him.
Sy smiled out even bigger and walked back up onto the porch, bending over and carefully closed his muscular arms around her thin body, hugging her gently. “It was good meeting you Ms. Violet.” He whispered into her ear.
“You too.” She whispered back. “And you take care of her and the baby.”
“On my life.” He replied, pulling back.
They winked at each other, chuckling and making Lily and Davis laugh as well. With their good-byes said and everything, including Aika, packed back into the truck, Lily and Sy got in too, waving until they lost sight of Violet and Davis. They weren't down the road very far, when Sy pulled off the side of the road and turned in his seat to face Lily.
“What?” She frowned back at him.
“You all right?” He asked, his eyes reading her.
“I'm fine.” She replied, but he could hear the thickness in her voice.
Sy turned and jerked open his door and moved around the truck and pulled open her door. “Lily.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Lily pressed her lips together for a moment, before taking a deep breath, her chin trembling as her tears crashed into her. Her seat belt wasn't off a moment, before she found herself in his arms and buried against his chest, sobbing into his Metallica t-shirt.
“You'll see them again, Angel.” He murmured into her hair, hands rubbing up and down her trembling back. “I promise, and you'll get to talk to them all the time. Mac even promised to teach them how to use Skype, so you guys can video call.” He told her, trying to soothe her pain and anxiety.
“We'll come back up after the baby's born, so they can meet.” He promised, cupping the back of her head and pressing his lips to her forehead, before wiping away her tears. “Okay?” He smiled at her, feeling the same anxious twist about leaving, but not even close in magnitude that Lily was.
“Okay.” She sniffled, rubbing at her eyes and collecting herself.
“Okay.” He nodded, but neither of them moved, but then Sy looked at her with a strange resolution. “Do you wanna get married?”
“What?” Lily squeaked, frowning at him. “You've already proposed to me, Austin.”
“That's not what I'm asking, Lily.” He replied, licking his lips, the sudden idea brewing inside of his mind. “Do you want to get married, right now?”
“Here?” She asked, looking around them. “In Virginia?”
“Yeah.” He nodded at her, his heart pounding as his adrenaline started to rush through his veins. “We can go back to your grandparents' place, because we'll need witnesses, then go into town and get married. We both know we don't want a massive wedding. I don't have any family I want, or even could, invite and...”
“My grandparents are the only family I have; other than you, Aika and the baby.” She finished his sentence, falling in sync with his thought process.
“So?”
Lily held his eyes for a split moment, then smiled softly at him, and nodded at him. “I think I like that idea, Austin.”
“All right.” He grinned back, kissing her, then ran back around to the driver's seat and hauled ass back to the farm.
“Is everything all right?” Davis asked, coming out of the house as he saw the truck flying up the driveway.
“Everything is fine and dandy.” Lily chuckled at him. “But, Austin and I need your and Mee-Maw's help with something.” She grinned, giggling, with a bubbly air of excited energy.
“What is it?”
Lily looked over at Sy, who grinned at her, then back to her grandfather. “We need two witnesses.” She said, the hint thick in her voice.
A smile instantly touched Davis's lips, understanding Lily's meaning and what she and Sy wanted from him and Violet. “We'll meet you at the Loudoun County courthouse.” He told them, feeling the giddy energy coming off of Lily and Sy infect him on the porch.
“I regret not having an actual wedding ring for you.” Sy commented as the two of them made their way downtown.
“I don't need one, Sy.” Lily told him, reaching out to take one of his hands off the steering wheel. “I told you, you are enough and the ring you already gave me is enough. I don't need anything more than that, Bear.” She said, threading their fingers together.
“Other than maybe...” She grinned at him.
Sy chuckled, bringing their hands up and kissed her fingers. “I'll get you a pretzel, Sweetness.” He grinned, shaking his head. “I feel like I should just buy a pretzel factory or something, the way you're going.” He teased her.
“That would be super nice.” Lily agreed, licking her lips. “Buy the property next door and set it up right there, with the production line ending right into the house.”
It was a good thing they stopped at a red light, because Sy lost it, laughing his ass off at the image of a conveyor belt of freshly baked pretzels coming in through one of the downstairs windows of the house with Lily seated in front of it, just power munching on them with her plump baby belly, happy as all hell. He still had tears in his eyes, after they parked in the county courthouse and were standing out front, waiting for Davis and Violet to show up.
“I'm glad you're loving it up.” Lily giggled at him.
Sy cupped Lily's face in his hands. “My little pretzel.”
“Oh good lord, Wyatt.” She laughed, gripping his wrists. “You're a mess.”
“You're going to marry this mess.” He grinned at her, pulling her closer to him and felt her rounding belly brush his abs.
“I am.” She nodded, smiling up at him. “I wouldn't have it any other way, with anyone else.”
“That's a relief.” Sy replied, feigning shock to know it.
“Lovebirds, no matter where the two of you are.” Violet's voice came as Davis pushed her towards them.
“When in love.” Lily replied, unashamed or moving away from Sy.
“Are we ready for this?” Davis asked, looking around at the group.
“I am.” Lily nodded, looking up at Sy.
“So am I.” Sy replied, smiling down at her.
“We are too.” Violet nodded.
“In we go then.” Davis said, and the small group went inside the courthouse.
“Here.” Lily said, slipping off her ring and handing it to Sy. “Just humor me.” She chuckled softly, when he lifted a brow at her in question.
“All right.” He nodded, slipping it into the front pocket of his jeans.
Going into the courthouse get a marriage license and giving the appropriate documentation they needed for it, then with the license filled out and official, they patiently waited for the couple ahead of them to have their moment getting married with the judge and all, before going into the little courtroom with the judge standing at the front, waiting for them in his official robe and a bible in his hand.
“Hello, I'm Judge Timothy Miller, I'll be marrying the two of you today.” He smiled at Lily and Sy.
“Sounds good to me.” Sy replied, nodding his head politely to the judge.
“Same.” Lily agreed, nervously licking her lips.
“Are these are your witnesses?” He asked, looking to Davis and Violet.
“Yes, sir. They're my grandparents.” Lily explained, smiling over her shoulder at them.
“That's lovely.” Judge Miller smiled at them all, plainly seeing the love everyone had for each other, especially Lily and Sy. “Shall we commence?” He asked, looking between the two of them.
“Yes, please.” They both nodded, feeling their nerves and jitters start to really increase.
“All right, I'll have the two of you face each other.” He said, motioning to space in front of him.
Lily and Sy stood before him, facing each other and holding hands, while staring at each other, Violet and Davis stood off to one side. Sy smiled at Lily, giving her trembling hands a squeeze with his, feeling his own hands shake. But, neither of them were going to back out, they honestly couldn't picture standing up there with anyone else.
They had found a home and a soulmate in each other.
“We are gathered here, on this fine day, to join Austin Wyatt Syverson and Lily Ana Moore together in the holy matrimony, that is marriage.” Judge Miller began speaking, regarding Lily and Sy in turns. “The bonds of marriage are untied with sacred love and the deepest respect, as should one spouse treat the other with that sacred love and respect.”
“Now, do we have rings?” He asked, looking at them with a lifted brow.
“Just hers.” Sy said, going into his pocket and pulling it out.
“All right, put it on her finger and repeat after me.” Judge Miller instructed him.
Sy slipped the ring back onto Lily's finger. “I, Austin Wyatt Syverson, take you, Lily Ana Moore, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.”
“Same with you.” The Judge said to Lily, nodding his head at her.
“I, Lily Ana Moore, take you, Austin Wyatt Syverson, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.” She repeated after him, letting out a relieved breath that she hadn't stumbled and missed any of it up.
“It is my pleasure and by the power vested in me, by the power of Loudoun County, in the state of Virginia, to pronounce you, man and wife.” Judge Miller grinned at them.
“Mr. Syverson, you may kiss your bride, Mrs. Syverson.”
“With pleasure.” Sy grinned with immense pride, pulling Lily against him and kissed her, intensely. “I never, in a million years, thought I would ever hear that.”
“What?” Lily asked, walking out of the courthouse with him, hand in hand.
“Mrs. Syverson.”
“I have to agree with you.” She replied, pressing her shoulder against his arm. “I always thought I'd be a Ms. for the rest of my life.”
“I guess you two are really back to Texas now?” Davis asked, coming up behind them with Violet.
“Yeah.” Sy nodded, looking at Lily. “Lily has a fourteen week baby appointment we can't miss.” He explained to them.
“But, we'll come back, when the baby is born so you guys can meet them.” Lily promised them, resting her hand on her belly.
“You better come back here with my great-grandbaby, or you'll have hell to deal with, Missy.” Violet threatened, wagging a bony finger at her, but the playful smirk on her face gave it away.
“You have my word, Mee-Maw.” Lily chuckled, bending over to kiss her on the cheek. “I wouldn't have it any other way. Mama isn't here to meet them, so I have to make sure you do.” She said, straightening up, a sad pang in her chest at knowing her own mother would never meet her grand-baby.
The group was somber for a moment as the fact settled on them, before they parted ways once again. But, Sy and Lily didn't hit the road as soon as they left the courthouse either.
“Where are we going, Bear?” She asked him, confused.
“Well, I promised you a pretzel, for one.” He chuckled at her. “And two, it doesn't seem right.” He said, wiggling the fingers of his left hand.
So, Sy got Lily the pretzel he had promised her, then they stopped off at the jeweler's he had bought her engagement, now wedding ring at, and after browsing for several moments, Lily stopped beside a glass display case, spotting a ring inside of it and pointed at it.
“If that doesn't scream Austin Syverson, then my name isn't Lily Syverson.” She said, staring at it wide eyed.
Sy laughed and crossed over to her, looking into the case at the ring she was pointing at and felt himself freeze, as it hit him, like seeing hers had. “I'm in total agreement with you. Both on the ring and your name.” He said, seeing the tungsten carbide ring.
“That's the one.” He told the jeweler, nodding his head at the ring.
“Fits like a glove.” Lily said, watching Sy slip it onto his left ring finger.
“Or in this case, a wedding ring.” He chuckled at her, turning it around his finger.
“Neither of us expected this, when we were driving out here.” She said, going back out to the car with him.
“Actually, I had been considering proposing to you for a while.” Sy confessed, finally getting them onto the highway back home to Celina. “Even before we found out about the baby.”
Lily twisted in her seat to face him, face slack in surprise. “Seriously!”
“Yep.” He nodded, grinning. “You're home to me, Lily. You've been a home to me for such a long time, before we slept together that night in the barn and everything.” He licked his lips and shifted in his seat. “I thought, maybe, even if we didn't have that sort of connection, we could still at least take care of each other and keep each other—company.” He told her, drumming on the steering wheel with his thumbs.
“I have a lot of baggage with my time in the military and people have a lot of trouble dealing with that and rarely stick around because of it. I honestly expected you to run me off that day on the porch, when I nearly took your head off.” He explained, babbling at this point.
“But you didn't. Even then, I expected you to tiptoe or be afraid of me.”
“But, I'm not afraid of you, Austin. I have no reason to be afraid of you or tiptoe around you.” Lily told him, hurt that he thought she would get rid of him or be scared of him, because of the things he can't really control. “Even when I first saw you, I wasn't afraid of you. You've never given me a reason to be. I sure as hell would never blame you for having PTSD for being in multiple war zones, as many times and as long as you had been.”
“I admit, if you ever did give me a reason to believe you'd hurt me, I would have told you to piss off.” She told him, honestly.
“I would have left long before that, if I thought I would do something to hurt you.” He said, looking over at her, the fear that he would do something, was evident in his eyes.
“I know that.” She whispered. “But, you're not, Austin. Not then. Not now. Not ever, and I'm not going anywhere either. I'm staying right with you, I'll always be there for you, especially in those moments.” She promised him, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.
“We're stuck together.”
“Now and forever.” Sy grinned, happy and relieved.
“Plus a day.” Lily giggled, laying her head on his shoulder.
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“I want to make a tradition of our own.” Sy said, breaking the quiet of the truck. “If we have a boy.”
They were only a few hours from being back home in Celina and felt the peacefulness of being so close to their own place again, their own space and bed.
“Okay.” Lily replied, settling her eyes on him.
“So, the girls on your mother's side of the family were named after flowers, right?”
“Correct.” She nodded back.
“Well, I was named Austin, because my parents met in Austin.”
“Oh, don't tell me you want to name our potential son, Celina.” Lily giggled, teasing him.
“Gods, no.” Sy laughed back, shaking his head at her. “But, I do want to name any would-be sons after cities. Like, Dallas.” He explained to her.
“Austin Jr.” Lily chuckled back. “But, I like that idea.”
“Can I make one more suggestion?” He inquired, lifting a brow at her.
“Of course.”
“If we do have a daughter, I know we want to give her a flower themed first name, but can I pick her middle name?”
“Of course, do you have one in mind?” Lily asked, tilting her head at him.
“I do.” Sy nodded at her, his blue eyes getting a far off look.
“What is it?”
“Let's find out, if it's a girl first.” He said, shaking his head and clearing his vision. “Then, I'll tell you.”
“Okay, keeper of secrets.” She chuckled.
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“Son of a—“
Lily paused as she carried the laundry basket up the stairs, hearing Sy's muffled curse from the guest room, turned nursery.
“What happened to good ol' fashioned, pure American made furniture?” He grumbled around his smarting thumb.
Chuckling and setting the basket down, Lily went down to the nursery. “Is that a grizzly Bear I'm hearing?” She asked, her voice light and playful as she smiled at him.
“Why did we have to buy the baby stuff from IKEA?” He asked, scowling at the mostly put together changing table.
“Because, their baby stuff is adorable.” She giggled at him, moving over to him, to check his smashed appendage.
Sy huffed, but let her take his hand in hers, watching her quietly and gently fuss over his swollen and multi-colored thumb. “If you like them, then it doesn't matter.” He sighed, frowning at the other unboxed baby furniture that was in the room with them.
“I do like them.” Lily nodded, assured he hadn't done any real damage to his hand. “That's why I got them. It goes with our neutral theme, since we don't know the baby's sex yet.” She told him, kissing his thumb, with a mischievous smile.
“Then, I'll get it done.” He replied, cupping her face and pulled her in, kissing her gently.
“Bob the Builder can eat his heart out.” She chuckled, kissing him back. “He's got nothing on Captain Syverson.” She proclaimed proudly, before standing back up and retrieving her laundry basket, to put away the clean clothes she'd spent all morning washing, in the master bedroom.
When she finished putting the clothes away, Lily paused in the middle of the bedroom, tapping her foot and chewing on her bottom lip as a sudden idea brewed inside of her mind. It wasn't a completely new idea, but the evolution of it was. Turning the upper half of her body towards the open bedroom door, listening to the bumps and curses coming from the nursery down the hall.
“Sy!” She called out to him, then winced hearing a crash and another curse.
“Yeah, babe?” He answered, sighing.
“You wanna distraction?” She asked, biting the corner of her lip and feeling bad.
Sy appeared in the nursery doorway, his bruised fingers pressed to his chest. “I would love one, Angel.” He replied, giving her a grateful, but pained expression. “What do you have in mind?”
Lily stepped into their closet for a moment, before coming back out and holding up her professional digital camera, a Panasonic Lumix, for him to see, and Sy frowned at her, head tilting in question.
“Baby book.” She smiled at him.
“What's that gotta do with me?” He asked, blinking at her.
“You silly Bear.” Lily giggled at him. “You've gotta be in the book too! You are the Daddy.”
“Okay.” Sy nodded, biting his lip and glancing around. “What do you want me to do?”
“Let's go downstairs.” She said, taking her camera and headed downstairs with Sy following after her. “This'll be a good place.” She decided, stopping in the dining room, where there was a clear wall by the bay window, where there was a lot of light.
Lily paused for a moment, then disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with a little whiteboard she would write little notes on, doctor's appointments, deadlines or anything else she and Sy needed to remember. Sy watched her bustle about, putting her idea into motion. Erasing the writing on the whiteboard, Lily wrote fourteen weeks on it, then carefully hung it up on the wall, then planted her hands on her hips and left the room again, making Sy chuckle at her.
“Perfectionist.” He teased, when she came back, with a short tripod.
“To the end.” She giggled back, setting the tripod up on the dining table and connected the camera to it. “All right, now.” She approached Sy, resting her hands on him and turned him sideways.
“Now, don't move.”
“As you wish, Angel.” Sy grinned, planting his feet in place.
“That's a good Bear.” She grinned back, patting him on the chest, then removed her shirt.
“Well, ya gotta see my tummy.” Lily giggled at him at his lifted brow.
“Well, if you're taking your shirt off, I'm taking mine off.” He replied, yanking his blue tank top off over his head.
“What, for your six babies?” Lily teased him, touching his fur covered abs.
“They're sympathy babies.” Sy chuckled at her.
“Sympathy babies?” She roared with laughter.
“You know what a sympathy pregnancy is?” He asked, grinning at her. “It's that, just six mini ones.”
“Well, that's the fast way to have a bunch of kids.” Lily joked back, thoroughly amused at his sympathy babies.
“Okay, back to what we were doing.”
“Right, what now, Mama?”
“I'm going to stand here.” She said, moving in front of him and resting her back against his chest. “And you're going to put your hands here.” She reached back, gripping Sy's wrists and moved them around to the front of her, so his hands cradled her growing baby bump.
“Like this?” Sy asked, making small adjustments.
“Yes, perfect.” Lily nodded, holding a small remote in her hand that would allow her to snap the photo, but before she could press the button, Aika came charging in and barked at them. “Oh my, how could I be so rude to forget you, Aika.” She cooed at the German Shepherd.
“Aika, sit.” Sy snapped his fingers at her and she instantly sat down before them, staring up at them, ears erect and head cocked to the side.
“That's so perfect.” Lily grinned at Aika. “So, I'm going to look at my belly and you can look at me.” She instructed Sy.
“Way ahead of you, Angel.” Sy replied, already looking at the back of her head, and just before she pressed the button on the camera's remote, he kissed her hair. “Let's see it.” He said, moving away from her.
Lily grabbed the camera off the tripod and pulled it up on the display screen, instantly grinning at it. The image of Sy cradling her baby bump, while she looked down at it, and kissing the back of her head, with Aika looking curiously up at her two and a half humans. She couldn't wait to add it to the baby book she had bought several weeks before and started putting together.
“You want to do a few more?” She asked, looking up from the camera.
“You're damn right I do.” Sy nodded, excited at the thought of doing an activity with Lily and anything that included their baby, still in her belly or not.
“Do you have any suggestions?” She inquired, tilting her head at him.
He bit his lip, then lifted a finger at her and left the room, coming back several minutes later with a worn, Army green shirt with two patches on the short sleeves, one for the U.S Army Special Forces and the other was the custom Special Forces patch for the team he was the leader of.
“I wore this a lot, while on tour.” He explained to her, looking at the garment in his hands.
Lily smiled at him, seeing and feeling how shy he was as he tried to explain his thoughts for what he wanted for a few shots. “I like that idea, Bear.” She assured him.
“Yeah?” Sy replied, lighting up.
“I do.” Lily nodded, eyes sparkling at him. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”
“Okay, um.” He looked around, he wasn't as good as Lily with setting up photo shots, but he had an idea in his head. “Here, put it on.” He said, handing her his shirt.
“All right.” Lily took his shirt and slipped it on.
“Can you..” He paused, biting his lip and glancing around. “Can you sit the camera up on the coffee table, like you had it here?” He asked, motioning to the tripod still sitting on the dining table.
“I very much can.” Lily nodded, grabbing the tripod and her camera, taking them into the living room and set them up on the coffee table as he asked.
“What next?”
“Lay down on the couch, sorta propped up on the arm.”
Nodding, Lily did as he asked and Sy fussed with the camera for a moment, making sure the shot would be wide enough, then moved around the coffee table, slipping onto the couch with her and positioning himself so he was between her legs, his face level with her belly.
“You have the remote to the camera?” He asked her.
“I do.” She nodded, grinning at him and held the remote up for him to see.
“Okay, good.” He gave her a short nod. “I'm gonna kiss your gorgeous belly and I want you to snap it.”
“As you wish, Bear.” Lily chuckled, gently patting his cheek.
Sy lowered his head, a soft blush on his bearded cheeks, that Lily hoped she could get in on the camera, and gently pressed his lips to her belly through the fabric of his old Army shirt. Lily waited a moment, admiring and savoring it for herself, before actually taking the photo of him doing it.
“How about one for just you and I?” Lily suggested, when Sy sat back up. “Not for the baby book, just me and you.”
“Oh?” Sy grinned, his brow going up in a suggestive manner.
Lily licked her lips and nodded her head. “Where are your dog tags?”
“My dog tags?”
“Well, I certainly don't have any.” She chuckled at him.
“Huh, I think they're upstairs in one of the boxes I brought over when I officially moved in.” He replied, brow creasing as he tried to recall which of the boxes it was he might have put them in.
“Then, go find them.”
“All right then, Miss.” He replied, getting up off the couch and going back upstairs.
“That's Mrs. Thank you!” Lily hollered after him, shaking her head and stood up, grabbing her camera and the tripod, then going upstairs after him.
“What is that beautiful brain thinking?” Sy asked, pulling out a box from the closet and setting it on their bed as she came into the room.
“When you find your dog tags, I'll tell you.” She smiled at him, setting the tripod and camera down on the dresser across from their bed.
“Ah-ha!” He let out triumphantly, smiling and pulled out his dog tags from the third box for Lily to see the two thin tags dangling from their chain, rimmed by black rubber to keep them from making noise, when they hit together.
“Nope.” He shook his head at her, pulling the dog tags away as she reached out for them. “Tell me what you want them for first, little lady.”
“I'm going to get naked and they'll be the only thing I'm wearing.” She told him, bluntly.
Sy gulped, his eyes widening at the thought. “Sold.” He squeaked, handing them to her.
Lily removed her clothing and slipped Sy's dog tags over her head, resting between the swell of her breasts and the top of her sloping belly. “Get in bed, Syverson.” She said, motioning to their bed with her head.
“As you wish, Syverson.” He chuckled at her. “You want me to get naked too?” He teased her.
“If you wanna.” Lily chuckled back, following close behind him.
“I do.” He smirked and pushed his shorts down, kicking them aside and got into bed, resting back against their pillows and the headboard.
Lily crawled into bed with him, nuzzling herself between his legs, making him moan a bit as her ass rubbed against his semi-flaccid cock. She hooked Sy's feet around, so she sat in the bowl in the middle of them and rested back against his chest, then had him rest his head on her shoulder, with one of his hands cupped the side of her stomach and she rested her hand on top of his there. She gasped softly, feeling his other hand gently cup one of her sore breasts, his face gently nuzzling her neck with a soft smile.
“I love you.” He murmured.
“I love you too, Bear.” She cooed back, resting comfortably against him, and snapped the shot. “It'll be better, when my stomach is bigger.”
“Oh, I really can't wait for that.” Sy admitted, rubbing his calloused hands over her stomach. “I can't wait for the moment when I can put my hands on your belly and feel the baby move against my palms.” He told her, fantasizing about it.
“I feel little flutters every now and then.” Lily replied, resting her head back against his shoulder. “But, nothing I can share with you yet.” She told him, comfortable in their weird little huddle.
“One day soon, Angel.” He whispered into her ear, hugging his arms around her and closing his eyes.
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“Sy!” Lily screamed, wiggling and panting. “Austin! Jesus Christ.” She huffed as Aika barked and paced around her.
Sy came pounding down the stairs, hearing her frantic yelling from where he was upstairs, still working in the nursery. “Lily!” He yelled, tearing into the living room, out of breath and scared out of his mind.
“What's wrong?” He asked, staring down at her as she laid on her bright purple yoga mat on the living room floor, she had gotten into pregnancy yoga, after trying it during one of the parenting classes they attended. “Is it the baby?” His eyes searched every inch of her body, watching Aika shove her nose underneath Lily's hips, sides and in the nook of her neck, making her wiggle even more and squeal.
“The baby is fine, Austin.” Lily huffed, out of breath and going limp on the yoga mat. “It's me, that's the problem.” She scowled, her face bright red.
Sy's face didn't change. “What is it, Angel?”
Lily bit her lip and huffed again, glancing away from him, knowing what was coming next out of him. “I can't get up.”
And there it fucking was.
Sy's head reared back and his laugh roared through the house like a boom of thunder, startling the daylights out of Aika, who barked directly into Lily's ear and bolted for the new doggy door in the kitchen and vanished into the backyard. His whole body shook as he continued to laugh at her for not being able to get up from her mat, even starting to wheeze.
“Good lord, Wyatt!” Lily growled at him.
“You're like a turtle!” He howled, bending forward, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Should I call PETA first? I don't want to get in trouble for endangering wildlife.” He cackled, rubbing her now pronounced belly.
“The only thing endanger is your sex life!” Lily threatened him. “Now, help me up! Your kid is squishing my bladder!” She begged, holding her hands out to him and desperately wiggling her fingers.
“All right! All right.” He chuckled, grabbing her hands and carefully pulled her up onto her feet. “Waddle faster, my little submarine!” He shouted after her, starting to laugh all over again.
“I hate you!” She shouted over her shoulder, just making it to the hall bathroom.
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“You ready, Bear?” Lily asked, squeezing Sy's hand as they followed the nurse back to the exam room.
“As I can be, Angel.” He replied, taking a deep breath. “As I can be.”
It was Lily's twenty-third week baby appointment and the moment of truth, when they found out the gender of their baby. They were both excited and nervous about finding out, having spent the last two weeks scouring names of cities and flowers and making their own lists for names if they had a girl or a boy, to then narrow down, once they did find out what gender they were having; and today was that day.
“Good morning.” Dr. Evers smiled as she came into their exam room. “How are parents and baby doing today?” She asked, sitting down on a stool.
“We're doing really well.” Lily smiled back at her, giddy. “Ready to find out the gender.” She said, glancing over at Sy.
“I bet you're just chomping it to bits to find out.” Dr. Evers chuckled, doing a quick regular exam of Lily, before setting up the ultrasound.
“I love hearing that sound.” Sy said, unconscionably as the baby's heartbeat filled the room.
“It's a precious sound.” Evers agreed, smiling over at him.
“Amen.” Lily nodded, gripping Sy's hand and staring at the screen.
“Let's see if I can get a better position.” Dr. Evers said, moving the transducer around Lily's belly, spreading more of the warm jelly with it, then went quiet for a few minutes, typing a few things on the keyboard.
“Is everything okay?” Sy asked, nervously.
“Everything is perfectly fine.” She smiled at him. “Just making a few measurements.” She assured him, before moving the transducer again. “Ah, there you are.” She grinned brightly, finally getting the right angle on the screen that she needed to tell her what gender the Syverson's baby was.
“Do you want to know right now, or do you want me to write it down and you can look when you get home?” She asked, regarding the two of them.
Lily and Sy looked at each other, a silent conversation going on between them for a long moment before Lily looked back at Dr. Evers and smiled, nervously, at her and nodded her head.
“Now, please.”
Nodding her head back at them, then pointed to the screen. “If you look right there.” She outlined what she was indicating. “You can just make out what it is. So, I'm happy to tell you, you are expecting a healthy baby girl.”
“A girl.” Sy echoed back, his voice weak with emotion and his eyes glued to the screen. “I have a daughter.”
“A daughter, Bear.” Lily grinned at him, reaching up and wiping away the silent tears that were starting to fall down his face. “We have a daughter, Sy.”
Sy wrapped his arms around Lily and hugged her for dear life, burying his face into her neck, soaking the shoulder of her shirt with his tears. “Thank you.” He sniffled and hiccuped. “Thank you.”
“We did it together, Sy.” Lily replied, emotional as well. “We both did this.”
“You guys are doing great and the baby is doing amazingly.” Dr. Evers complimented them, a bit choked up as well. “I'll have you set up your next appointment and you know to contact me, if anything happens.”
“Thanks, doc.” Sy smiled at her.
“It's my pleasure.” She assured him.
“All right, Bear. You said, if we had a girl you had a middle name for her, now out with it.” Lily said, as they drove back home.
Sy cleared his throat, still an emotional wreck that they were having a daughter. “Imogene.”
“Imogene.” Lily repeated, blinking at him. “Why Imogene?” She asked, tilting her head at him.
He was quiet for a long while, trying to get a handle on an old emotional lump that was trying to push up alongside the one already in his throat. “I want her to have the middle name, Imogene,” He started to explain, as they reached their driveway.
“Because, it was my mama's name.” He told her, softly.
300 notes · View notes
mrwinterr · 4 years ago
Text
Kissletoe
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Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader
Summary: You’re not a fan of mistletoes. You think it’s an outdated Holiday tradition and an excuse for lovesick fools to steal a kiss. Unlucky for you, college parties are riddled with them this year and someone’s been trying to meet you under one all night.
Warnings: College shenanigans (no one cares in the real world). Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration & fingering, oral [female receiving], handjob & attempted dirty talk/goofy sex?). Language. Mentions of drugs and alcohol. & bad Christmas pickup lines.
Title Inspiration: “Kissletoe” by 3OH!3
A/N: I’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe let alone attended a legit college party because I’ve been lame my whole life. 🔔 ‘Tis that season! 🎄 Happy Holidays, ya filthy, lovely readers! 🙋🏻‍♀️ Raise your hand if you’re on the naughty list this year! ❤️ Enjoy!
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It’s the end of the college fall semester and for the majority of students, the only way to celebrate surviving finals week is to let loose and party, especially right before you’re all forced to go back home to visit family for the Holidays.
“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” You hear your friend and roommate Natasha ask.
You stop stuffing your belongings in a box and pause at her question to look down at your current attire - black leggings paired off with an oversized University college-style sweatshirt. You had your hair pulled up in a messy bun, your face clear of any make-up, and lastly your feet were clad in funky, fuzzy socks. This is what you normally wore inside the dorm around her, and you certainly didn’t need to dress to impress just to go home. What was she on about?
“Uh, home? Where else would I be going at the end of the semester?” You reply, an obvious answer.
“Don’t be a smartass,” she retorts, and is quick to follow up when she sees the knowing look on your face and mouth open to retaliate with an even sassy response, “and don’t even start!”
She knew you’d say something like you were exactly that, smart. You in fact had amazing grades and excelled in every course you’d enrolled in. You were confident that you’d aced your exams, so you’re not checking the portal every chance you could get to see if the professor had uploaded your grades yet.
“You’re not supposed to be leaving until Monday,” she reminded you.
“I know, but I mean, there’s no rule saying I had to stay here until then,” you clarify, continuing to pack up more of your things, “I’d rather much get a head start.”
“You’re that eager to get away from me, huh?” She says, feigning sadness.
“You’re the only thing I’m going to miss about college,” you assure her.
College was a different experience for everyone. It was an introduction to the real world. Some used it to start anew, to buckle down and make something of themselves, others used it as an extension to repeat four more years of high school.
You took your studies very seriously, especially if you wanted to maintain your scholarship. It was a known fact college wasn’t cheap and you were fortunate to be here on one. With all that aside, you still knew when to have some fun. After all, all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy, right? You didn’t want to be that kind of person, you wanted to enjoy your college years, and luckily you had almost a polar opposite friend in Natasha to level you out.
“We just survived another week of finals,” she states, and grabbing your arms to stop you for just one second, “what better way to celebrate than partying?”  
She sees the conflicted look in your eyes, and can tell you’re weighing out the pros and cons. There were a lot of cons: you’d be surrounded by tons of people, most of which were going to be drunk as fuck or high out of their minds on whatever substance was passed around and the threat of getting taken advantage of by some stranger. The pros? You had some steam to let off and this was a chance to gather and see some of your other friends before the Holiday break. ‘Tis the season, right?
“I guess you’re right,” you start, beginning to compromise, “why not? It’ll be like a little send off,” you decide, throwing in a shrug, and that was it.
“We’re college kids, it’s our right,” Natasha shrugs, before digging into one of your boxes and pulling out one of your cute dresses. You could always count on her to help look good too.  
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When you both take the short walk to the house, where tonight’s party would be taking place, you abruptly halt at the end of the front porch steps, breaking your locked arms with Natasha.
“Jesus, what’s wrong?” She curses lightly as she almost trips backwards.
“This house…” you start, taking a step back and look up to inspect it, squinting, as if that would do you any good in the dark.
“Yeah?” She asks, a little too impatient, obviously hiding something.
“It’s familiar,” you continue, still trying to find out why it was so. Usually, that wasn’t a good thing...
“Come on. What are you talking about? It’s just a house. Don’t think too much and have fun tonight!” She says, stomping back down the steps and grabbing your arm to drag you up towards the front door.
“I guess you’re right,” you say, giving up again. What were you so worried about?  
“Aren’t I always?” She comments, and is, again, quick to shut you down when she sees you open your mouth. She presses her finger to the doorbell just as your mouth closes, and you both await the host.
You look off to the side and stare at the Greek letters tacked onto the wall. You knew you weren’t going to let it go on trying to find out why this house looked so familiar. Then, just when you’ve figured it out, your eyes widen in realization, the grip around your arm intertwined with Natasha’s tightens, feeling your attempt to slip away. The door swings open and the voice that booms out of the person, verifies your answer.
“Well, well, well...the weather outside sure is frightful, but this,” Bucky Barnes starts out singing before looking only in your direction, “oh, seeing you, is so delightful,” ending in a somewhat serious note.
“God, I hate winter,” you comment off to the side. It earns you a jab from Natasha, silently asking you to play nice.
He greets Natasha and easily lets her slip past him into the house. You call out her name, appalled that she left you alone with Bucky. Wasn’t that some rule? Never leave your friends alone at a Frat party.
“You look beautiful,” Bucky says sincerely when it’s just the two of you, to which you don’t respond, but roll your eyes. You didn’t come here to get seduced or hit on, but nonetheless shiver, and logically you could blame it on the cold weather and not the way that comment from him made you feel, then attempt to get inside the warm house.
"Excuse me,” he says, holding out his arms on either side of the door frames, blocking your entrance both ways, “where is my Christmas kiss?“ he asks, leaning in close to you.
“What the hell are you talking about?” You ask incredulously and back away. You owed him no such thing, but when you see the sly smirk on his lips, and his head signal for you to look up, you discover a traditional mistletoe hanging right above your heads.
Bringing your head back to its regular position, you look him dead in the eyes, “I’m not going to kiss you under the mistletoe, Barnes,” you scoff at his attempt to smooch you.
“Why not?” He presses, shuffling his weight from one leg onto the other, and before you can even give him an answer, you both hear your name being shouted from behind him. Bucky whips his head back and you do your best to look over his shoulder.
It came from your friend Wanda, who was excitedly waving you over to her. You smile and wave back at her, internally grateful that luck was on your side at this moment. Bucky turns back around and stares at you, wondering how to pick back up on your conversation, but when he doesn’t come up with anything, he sighs defeatedly, drops his arms and finally lets you in.
You make your way over to Wanda engulfing her with a huge hug. Natasha was close by, sipping on her drink. You’ll grill her later for leaving you alone with Bucky. She knew not to do that, but she did it at every chance she got. Now, you knew why she brought you to this specific house party.
“You weren’t planning on leaving without a proper farewell, were you?” Wanda asked worriedly. You immediately pieced together that Natasha had ratted you out on your attempt to leave campus and head back home early.
“It’s not forever, Wan,” you assure her. It was literally only for a few weeks, but while everyone would probably only be a few hours away from each other or a few states apart different, Wanda would be flying back to her home country to spend the Holidays with her family. You’ll admit, you could’ve been a little more considerate and sensitive.
“I’ll still miss you,” she says, the admission melting your heart, not even thinking about how the separation would be on others.
“She’s right, it’s not forever,” Natasha interjects, not allowing for any sad vibes on your last few hours of the semester together, “let’s make some memories tonight,” she says before handing you a drink.
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Bucky, as hard as he tried to cover it up, rejoins his group of friends, Steve and Sam, sulking. He’d gotten you alone again, but failed, and he vowed to never give up. He had a crush on you, simple as that, but you were playing hard to get, and all this time spent on playing cat and mouse when you could be doing other things.
“Man, just save yourself from any further embarrassment and give up,” Sam tells him while also handing him a drink of his own, which Bucky accepts and quickly takes a swig from.
“Never,” he said, determined and slightly winces at the burn in his throat, his body almost warming in an instant, “I’m gonna get my Holiday kiss.”
“Why do you even care? You’re usually not one behind this Holiday shit,” he asks, looking around the crowded room.
“I’m not, but it gives me a reason to get close to her,” Bucky admits pathetically, staring into the red solo cup before taking the last swig, crushing it in his hand and air balling it to the trash.
“Dude!” Steve chastises him about adding onto the mess they’d have to clean afterwards, to which Bucky shrugs at.
“You can’t expect her to just kiss anyone under the mistletoe,” Steve reminds him. He knew it wasn't an easy conquest for any guy to gain your affection.
“I’ve been a good boy this year, alright, I’m gonna get her to see what she’s been looking for has been in front of her this whole time,” Bucky says trying not to sound or look as predatory as he watched you disappear into the kitchen with your friends.
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You suppose the saying rules were meant to be broken, were taken a bit too literal by your friends, even college party rules because you’re left alone again. Wanda had abandoned the trio for some alone time with her boyfriend, who everyone dubbed Vision or Vis for short due to how outrageously innovative he was. Natasha decided to partake in a classic game of beer pong, something you incredibly sucked at, so there was no way she was going to recruit you as her partner nor were you interested in standing there awkwardly watching the game go on.
Surprisingly, the only place that seemed to be of a quiet enough spot to think was the backyard patio. You could see there was a fire lit and some other students scattered or sprawled on the grass. Quickening your pace, you manage to claim a vacant lawn chair next to the fire and hope you’d stay warm and at peace.
There you start to think that being in attendance tonight would’ve made no difference. Natasha was just good at persuading you into things. Call it peer pressure or whatever, but you put your faith and trust in her to not believe she’d ever steer you in the wrong direction, so why were you so bothered being here?
“You know, refusing to kiss someone under the mistletoe is bad luck,” you hear the voice of the reason why.
“I don’t believe in that bullshit,” you respond, watching as he plops down on the empty seat next to you.
“Really? Then why haven’t you been out on a date in so long?” he asks tauntingly.
“How would you know?” You ask a bit offended.
Why was he so concerned about your love life? You were never close with Bucky growing up and if anyone was of an impression you were, it was only because of Steve, who welcomed everyone, and that included you when you moved into the neighborhood when you were a little girl.
All throughout elementary school, until things started developing, puberty probably, it further separated you from Bucky. Steve blossomed a little later in life, so it helped solidify a good friendship with him, the same couldn’t be said for Bucky. You didn’t hate him, just got annoyed by his harmless teasing.
“I’ll have you know I have other priorities,” your attempt at an excuse was subtle, but you didn’t owe him an explanation anyways.
“Sure,” he says in a tone that suggests he didn’t believe you.
You watch as he lights up a cigarette, takes a small drag, and the cloud of smoke puffing out from his lips. He notices your stare and digs into his coat pocket, fishing out the pack before offering you one. You accept and pluck one out of the carton, he follows up with sticking out his lighter and you lean in closer to him to place the end of your stick against the flame.
You weren’t going to deny the relieving effect the nicotine had running through your body. College was stressful and while you weren’t one to abuse substances, a hit every now and then helped calm your nerves.
“So why is it you won’t kiss anyone under the mistletoe?” He asks, leaning back on the plastic chair, his head turning to the side, full attention on you.
He was enchanted by the girl, who grew up into a beautiful young woman, sitting next to him, slowly killing herself with every inhale and exhale of the cigarette between her lips, but you weren’t just attractive to Bucky, you were every bit incredible to him. You were smart, helpful, loyal to your friends and he was just misguided sometimes in life that led you to astray from him.
“It’s just an excuse for guys to steal a kiss from some poor girl...for lonely people to fake love,” you said almost bitterly.
Truth was, you had a bitter experience with a guy who’d led you on in high school after accidentally hearing that he could bet his friends he could get you to make out with him and he’d do so by using a mistletoe as a ruse.
Bucky detected some distaste in your response but decides not to interrogate you on it any further. There’d been a lot of growing up between the two of you since you’d both been estranged during your teenage years, and certain life events were missed on either party. So, where did you both stand in each other's lives now? You weren’t sure if you could call each other friends. It wasn’t easy to avoid Bucky, what with all the mutual friends and classes you shared, including the same street back home.
“I didn’t throw this party just to see everyone before they leave or to celebrate the end of finals,” he reveals, after several, somber minutes of silence, the cigarettes in your hands quickly burning out.
“Then why did you?” You ask curiously, meeting his gaze.
“To see you,” he simply admits. It was vague.
“How’d you even know I’d show up?” You quiz him.
“Because I begged Natasha to convince you,” he freely says, exposing his plan.
You were a smart person, but you couldn’t figure Bucky out. Why would he do that? Or for that matter, say something like that. What was his endgame here?
“Tis the fuckin’ season,” you comment offhand, getting up from the seat to leave. You stomp out your cigarette and prepare to head back inside and bid your farewells.
You’re just about to step through the threshold, when you feel a large hand wrap around your arm, halting you in place in the middle of the sliding screen door.
“Am I really that bad?” He inquires, and you know he’s not asking about just kissing him under the mistletoe anymore. Bucky always wore his heart on his sleeve, no matter how tough he appeared to be. It fooled a lot of people, sometimes you included, but in this moment, he seemed to genuinely be concerned about your perspective about him.
You were too grown to blame how the course of your relationship with Bucky had gone south on silly teenage phases. You knew it was much deeper than that, it was how sad it made you feel.
You’d harbored a small crush on him back then and it was cruel to see him grow into a handsome, charming guy and go out with other girls. He never showed an interest in you in the past and it was getting exhausting trying to get his attention, it was proving to be a distraction in your life, so it was then you’d vowed to focus on yourself and the life ahead of you, a life that didn’t revolve or involve Bucky.
However, a part of you, the risky and impulsive part of you, said you had less than a handful of months left before you were set to walk the stage and graduate. If you did what you were about to do, you could avoid Bucky for just one more semester, then you’d move far, far away and most likely never see him again. With a quick glance up, you give in to the idea of this side of you, lean in and plant your lips on Bucky’s soft ones.
Bucky is left dumbfounded, eyes still half closed when you pull away. He was shocked, caught off guard, and you by a totally different notion. You like him, you’ve always liked him.
It was a decent kiss if anyone would’ve caught it, at least you hoped it appeared it was, and that Bucky could convince you of it being so…
“You said kissing under the mistletoe is for lonely people to fake love...so then why do I feel so alive?” he asks you in a daze.
He doesn't succeed in convincing you.
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How you’d both managed to move past that scene at the doorway without raising suspicion was beyond you two. The fact you both found a vacant room was an even more impressive feat at the moment.
“You better have locked that door,” you say, attempting to make it sound like a threat, but with you underneath him, you were anything but.
Shoes scattered along the pathway to the bed, his thick jacket following in suit. You’d managed to pull your lips back from his, but he couldn’t keep his off of yours as they trailed from the corner of your lips, along your jawline and down your neck. You feel his tongue drag just along your pulse, causing your hips to thrust up. You let out a moan at what you felt through his jeans and how he started sucking and nibbling over the spot he’d licked.
“Why? Don’t want everyone finding out how naughty you actually are?” He questions back teasingly with a cocky grin, and as he tugs at the sleeves of his unbuttoned shirt.
You don’t have a comeback for him, but instead you lightly shove him back and try to escape from underneath, hoping to get through to him and show you’re in fact serious. The last thing you wanted was for any of your friends to walk in on you two in the act.
“Relax!” He says, also sitting up and reaching out and pulling you back to him, “I locked it,” he assures, leaning in closer, “not even Santa will know what we’re doing,” then his lips reclaim yours, his tongue delving in your mouth. You’re once more on your back, lips locked and heavy. Had you known kissing Bucky was this good, you’d have kissed him earlier.
Bucky’s hands run up your thighs, snake their way underneath, you feel his fingers ghost over your scantily clad pussy. The tingling sensation causes the feeling in the pit of your stomach to brew.
“You want me to touch you?” He asks huskily while still pecking your lips.
“Yes,” you almost immediately answer, desperate for his touch.
“How bad?” Oh, he knows how bad, but he had so much fun watching you crumble.
“Bucky,” you start to whine.
“Tell me...how bad do you want me to touch you,” he repeats slowly.
“Fuck you,” you bite back. He was really going to make you say it, “I want you to touch me so bad...please, Bucky,” you quickly give in.
Bucky rewards you with a deep kiss as you feel him hook a finger on the thin slit of your panties and pull them to the side. He runs a long finger between your folds, and he pulls his lips away to inhale sharply.
“You’re so wet,” he states the obvious, bringing that same hand up to his lips to lick the pad of his thumb so he could start rubbing circles on your clit. You bite your lip and stare at him, he’s watching you carefully, loving how hard you’re trying to hold back.
“You want to be a good girl?” He asks, and you nod, “then don’t hold back. Stop fighting me, and I’ll make you come hard with just my fingers,” he bargains. You want to call him on his bluff, but he’s the one with the upper hand - literally. “But first…,” he starts, sitting up on his knees, hands back at his sides so he could scoot down lower on the bed, “...I want to taste this pussy,” his voice deep, and almost dangerous.
He pushes the end of your dress up, bunching it at the waist, to reveal your cute underwear. He pauses for a split second, “Holiyay indeed” he says to himself, reading the embezzled design on the front of your thong. You don’t even roll your eyes in annoyance anymore, because maybe if you kept quiet and submissive enough, you’ll finally get to come.
When he rids you of the garment, Bucky uses his fingers to spread your wet lips before running his tongue flat against it, only narrowing out when it reaches your clit. He spends a little more time at your there, circling it with his tongue, lightly kissing and sucking at it. His fingers start rubbing you, tracing the rim of the opening, while his mouth was still busy at work.
You're all but writhing from the buildup, your chest heaving up and down, stomach clenching tight from his doing, not prepared for when he inserts a finger inside your wet hole. You audibly gasped and reached a hand towards him, but he swats it away. You dare pick your head up to watch, and you’re met with his eyes, full of lust, looking up at you, but his mouth still latched onto your pussy. You can feel his finger slide in and out of you slowly, your mouth open displaying how good he’s making you feel.
In fact, it’s too good you’re not in control of your legs anymore as they kick and squirm at the feeling he’s bestowing on you, so he removes his finger away from you only to maneuver into a position where he could hook his arms under legs and basically slam your back down on the bed. You unconsciously start chanting his name, like a silent prayer for him to touch you down there again.
Your head is a little fuzzy, body on fire; you want to burst. Unable to pick up your head, you cast your eyes down on him just in time to see him spit on your already soaking cunt. You watch as he uses his fingers to spread the wetness all over before slipping two fingers inside of you.
The intrusion causes you to groan and back to arch, and you can’t help but grab at any part of the arm that his hand going to work on you, just making sure it doesn't go away until it gets the job done. He chuckles lightly at your eagerness with your hips bucking up at his palm.
“I promised I’d let you come, right?” He points out, which you nod fervently, loosen your grip and attempt to keep your hips at bay, so he could fulfill his promise. You feel his finger push in about knuckle-deep and curl inside, causing you to choke out a dry sob. You begin to bite your lip, hard, when he does it again and again.  
Your hands are on autopilot, trying to heighten the pleasure your body was being coursed with, and they grab handfuls of your breasts, still confined in your dress. You squeeze and squish them together, anything to help you find that release sooner. Bucky’s gaze catches onto your moves and licks at his lips, the sight of your breasts threatening to spill out offers him a taste of what’s still yet to be unwrapped.
He speeds up his efforts, they’re proven efficient as you start clenching tight around his fingers, your arousal also coating the palm of his hand. He whispers tiny praises as you try to recover from the first orgasm. You swallow the lump in your throat and run your hands over your face, almost dazed and bewildered that Bucky was capable of pulling something like that out of you.  
Your legs fall limp on the bed, the silence broken by Bucky, “such a sweet pussy,” he compliments, and you take a peek between your fingers to see his fingers pop out of his mouth from sucking his digits clean.
“Do you want to unwrap your gift?” He asks, crawling over to you. You manage to sit up, your body supported by your propped elbows, so Bucky is slightly hovering over you. You nod at his question and he brings one hand behind your head to swoop you in for a sweet kiss. You use both hands to hold his face in place to make the kiss last just a little longer.
Bucky reluctantly pulls away though so he could grab at the bunched fabric of your dress and pull it over your head, leaving you completely bare in front of him. He swears, eyes running over every part of you before sitting upright on his knees again.
You lean in and reach with both hands to unbuckle his belt, the clinking of metal sounding loud, button popping off in haste, and dragging the zipper down. You yank down at his fitted jeans to reveal the imprint of his hard cock under his boxer briefs. Fuck, he was big, that much you could see. You couldn’t keep your grabby hands away as you palm him through the fabric, his cock twitching at the indirect contact.
“Take it out,” he instructs, and you look up perilously at him, eyes begging him to confirm, “...it’s yours, baby girl,” and it was all the assurance you needed to peel his boxers down.
You wrap your hands around his length and start pumping him languidly. He was already hard and no doubt fully erect, but you immediately found how good it felt in your hands. With every pump, his pre-cum pools at the head, and with each trip your hands make up to the tip, they travel back down with the substance, effectively lathering him up and making him slick enough for an easy entry.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he admits when you give his member an experimental squeeze, your fingers curl around him, the tips grazing along his balls.
Leaning in to place light kisses to his pecs, you look up at him, “well, you’ve been a good boy, so do it,” you say, hands retreating as you lie back down, “...fuck me, Bucky.”
Bucky lets out a low growl, kicks his bottoms away, and climbs back on top of you. He reaches down to grab his cock and starts running it up and down the length of your sex, causing your body to shudder. You could feel the ridges and just how hard he got before he slowly slid his cock inside. There’s a tiny sting on his entrance as his thick cock stretches your walls.
“Mmm, baby, it’s cold outside,” he starts playfully singing, “...but you, you’re so warm,” kissing your cheek, getting you to relax; not realizing you had held your breath trying to bear through the initial pain, “...and so wet,” he says pulling out with a lewd noise, before thrusting all the way back in, bottoming out.  
He starts off sweet and slow, and while you liked that on some occasion, now wasn’t one of them. Bucky’s cock probed at your spot almost instantly and you found out you didn’t want to prolong the euphoric ending. His hands slip around your smaller frame, pulling your body up, closer to his, while his hips moved in waves crashing harder and harder into yours.
His face buried into the mattress next to your face, you hear his breathy moans, and you love that he doesn’t hold them back the slightest. Who didn’t like to hear how good the other person was making them feel, right? You grip and pull at his hair, while the other gabs at his buttocks, feeling it flex with each snap of his hips, and your legs tangled with his. Sweat that had built up on your bodies make the movements sloppy, muscles beginning to ache, both of you were about to peak.
“God, you feel so good,” he says, picking his head up, his hair matted and messy, he still looked sexy, “...you gonna come all over my cock now?” His words fuel you and your hips start driving into his, making him eat his own words, “fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me cum!”
“Yes, Bucky,” you coo, your hands gripping his sides, loving the feeling of his hard body, slick and warm to the touch, “...come,” you try coaxing him, but one particular thrust rips right through you and your walls start clenching him tighter than the fit.
You only finish the command when you’re riding the waves of the aftershock, “come on, Bucky, I want it...inside, please.” You definitely picked up on the fact that he liked to hear you beg and be specific with your wants.
Bucky soon stills, spurts of his hot cum splatter your walls that continue to flutter around his cock. His climax spreads warmth all over your lower body. Your limbs, both arms and legs, wrap around his exhausted body. He carefully drops his bodyweight on you, mindful of not suffocating you in the process.
When he’s regained regular breathing, using one of his hands, he reaches behind him in search of yours before interlocking your fingers and just holding it, you hold onto each other. Bucky picks up his head and stares at your hand in his, you follow his gaze and join him. They fit with one another perfectly, and even so, the light squeeze he gives it, lets you know it also felt right.
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“Well, where have you two been?” Sam says loudly, announcing you and Bucky’s arrival, rejoining your group of friends. Wanda and Vision close to each other, his arm around her frame, Natasha standing in between Sam and Steve, a refilled cup in each of their hands.
“I have been trying to escape this crazed man all night,” you playfully exaggerate.
“And yet you’ve managed to keep failing,” Bucky chimes in smugly, a cute smirk running across his features. This unearthed feeling testing your willpower to keep up with appearance and show resistance.
“Yeah, no thanks to my so-called friends,” pinning the blame on the two females in the room. Wanda turns red, guilty and slightly awful for abandoning you, but Natasha has a different reaction. She’s got that knowing smile on her face. It’s small, but very strong.
You watch as her eyes divert to the ceiling, you follow her gaze and then when you both look back at each other, the smile on her face turns into a full-blown smirk. There’s a collective sound of “oh’s” from everyone, noting the mistletoe above you and Bucky.
Turning to Bucky, who looks like he doesn’t know what to do, just stands there staring at you, not knowing what to expect. You’re supposed to act like nothing happened or reveal anything to your friends just yet, so he mentally prepares for a rebuttal to your impending rejection or insult to kiss him. Nothing could’ve prepared him for what you do instead.
You place a hand on the back of his neck and pull him down to you and smash your lips together. Bucky’s hands immediately grab a hold of your hips, he’d have to get used to the lightheaded feeling when he’s close to you.
The kiss is slow and probably not appropriate to be deemed as a simple traditional mistletoe kiss, but you both can’t help it and continue to allow your lips to slide against one another’s before there’s a rise of cheers, whistling and howls around you, shattering the bubble.
When you pull apart, you reluctantly walk away from Bucky and head to where Natasha stood, steal the cup from her hand and finish off the remainder of her drink, all while staring straight at her. She knew. Only when you’re done with the last sip, you give her the same small, sly smile. There are no words exchanged, and none needed.
“Guess, you have been a good boy this year, Barnes,” Sam jokes, but regardless is proud of his friend.
“Third time's the charm,” Bucky says casually, shrugging like it was no big deal, as if he hadn’t been desperately chasing you all night. You shake your head at his silliness, but nonetheless smile at him, your heart skipping a bit.
Who knew what you’d been looking for was hanging underneath the doorway staring at you face-to-face this whole time?
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A/N: I can confidently say, I used one of these Christmas puns as a pickup line on a guy recently and it worked in my favor! Shoot your shot but stay safe in more than one way; these are them trying times. Also, the underwear thing is a real design I saw while looking through Victoria’s Secret sales…lol. 
🎁 Gift me a like, reblog, comment - anything, please! 🥺💖
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azucanela · 4 years ago
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FIRST DATE HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS
[FT. BAKUGOU KATSUKI, TODOROKI SHOUTO SHINSOU HITOSHI]
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SUMMARY: Your first date with a few some of the first year boys[Bakugo Katuski, Shinsou Hitoshi, Todoroki Shouto].
WORD COUNT: 2.9k
WARNINGS: kissing, pretty pg, wholesome, perhaps slightly ooc oops, bad writing, just a tad of spice
A/N: someone send tik tok related requests they make me laugh
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BAKUGO KATSUKI
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when he asks you out on a date for the first time hes not actually asking
comes up to you and tells you, “get dressed im taking you out.”
you are just there talking to mina and kirishima in your pjs like ???
“with your quirk?” like you dead thought he was telling you he intended to kill you 
“no idiot...” now he’s embarrassed oh no
mina and kirishima are like 👀👀
“on a date?” they’re really trying to help him get his point across bc playing matchmaker is fun
“SHUT UP EXTRAS”
probably takes you to like some sort of outdoor thing on the first date
has to to involve movement
stroll through the park, or through like a mall if you don’t like more athletic experiences 
take him on a date to a trampoline park. do it. 
COOKS FOR YOU ON THE FIRST DATE!!!!!!!!
ITS AMAZING 
YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED
is quieter during a date rather than his normal explosive self, he wants to listen to you, get to know you better
won’t kiss on the first date unless there’s a pre established friendship
your next date happens the same way, just tells you that you guys are going out, but you get it this time
lets you choose where you guys go that time
wants equal contribution to dates 
katsuki in street clothes is just beautiful, just ART, a masterpiece, he looks like a grumpy piece of ART
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Katuski had just asked Y/N on a date, completely out of nowhere. Katsuki had asked Y/N on a date. It was difficult to believe, and considering his loud tone, the rest of Class 1-A also found it shocking, the student who claimed to have all his focus on becoming the number one pro-hero was now seeking a relationship. Ironic.
Though Y/N herself initially didn’t understand what he had been trying to say, she quickly got the message, and off they went. She was necessarily shocked by his feelings for her, they had discussed it in the dead of night, when she couldn’t sleep so he decided to forgo his normal grandpa sleep schedule. He fell asleep shortly after that conversation though, in her arms, he’d likely deny it if she ever mentioned it though.
Now, she sat on the counter in his parent’s kitchen, though neither of them were home, and the kitchen looked mostly unused. Y/N had tried to assist him but he’d brushed her off, “I asked you out. And you’re a horrible cook.” 
Y/N hopped off the counter and came up behind him, “whatever.” She mumbled, half expecting Katsuki to shove her away as she wrapped her arms around his torso as he sliced vegetables. He didn’t, though he did freeze momentarily before grumbling something about how dumb she was, Y/N knew he didn’t mean it based off the blush on his cheeks. 
Katsuki placed the vegetables into a pot of boiling water, covering it with a lid before tapping Y/N’s hand, signaling for her to let go. When she did, he turned around, and Y/N’s brow was raised. “C’mere.” He pulled her closer with one hand, and placed another on the back of her necks, bringing their lips together. 
She hummed in response, hand tangling into his hair, this wasn’t the first time they’d kissed. But it was the first time they’d gone on a date, he’d been sure to hide the dining room from her on the way inside, and she couldn’t help the excitement that bubbled up inside her. 
Y/N’s free hand found it’s way to his bicep, nails digging into his soft skin, courtesy of his quirk. Meanwhile, Katsuki’s hand found its way to the curve of her back, pushing her body closer to his only for Y/N to pull away, “pay attention while you are cooking.”
Turning to look at the pot, he’d realized that it was boiling far too much for comfort and cursed, releasing Y/N to salvage his food, she began to laugh. Katuski glared at her as he turned off the stove and put the put the vegetables into a nearby plate. 
With a smile on her face, she pressed a kiss onto his cheek, only for him to roll his eyes as he picked up the plate and moved out of the kitchen, Y/N trailing close behind as he headed to the dining room. “Can I see now?” She asked.
After a moment of contemplation, he nodded, and together they entered the dining room. It was a basic set up for a date, but it certainly set an intimate atmosphere that was rare when you lived in a dorm with several other students, and Mineta. There were candles lighting the room, and a rose in the center of the table, along with more food that he had already placed on the table. 
Grinning at him, Y/N spoke, “god you are such a sap.”
His cheeks flushed as he responded, “shut up.” 
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SHINSOU HITOSHI
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lol cutie, he asks you out on a date, you two are probably close friends and he just really likes your personality and attitude and stuff
“you don’t have to- well you know that but-”
“no, i’ll go out with you.”
“it’s fine i understand- wait what?”
did not think he’d get this far so he had no plans, he was expecting to plan a funeral for your friendship
ends up being the basic movie and food date
he picks a horror movie because he wants to protect you!!!
it makes him feel useful and bb needs validation
hold his hand during the movie
give him AFFECTION
you guys end up skipping dinner because you filled up on popcorn and other snacks during the movie so y’all just walk around
gives you his j a c k e t if its cold
he’s classy like that
unlike other people, he would kiss you on the first date
it would be an AMAZING experience that probably occurs at your front door, super adorable, he asks if he can kiss you
“can i kiss you?” fully expects you to say no
“yeah you can.”
“its fine, thanks for going out with me- wait what?”
same vibes as asking you out, did NOT expect this
walks you home because he is a GENTLEMAN change my mind, Shinsou brought back chivalry 2020
treats you RIGHT!!! the entire date, opens doors for you, pulls out your chair if necessary, pays for you unless you try to split the check but he might propose if you do that and pay for you regardless
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When Shinsou asked Y/N out, he genuinely expected her to say no. His plans for the date included a funeral for himself and the friendship between the two of them. But, Shinsou was an honest guy and wanted to confess his feelings to her, secrets were a rarity between them, and this was no exception. They’d known each other for a while and his feelings weren’t something he could make disappear, no matter how hard he tried.
The last thing he expected was for her to agree to go out with him. 
She was still clinging onto his arm rather harshly as they exited the movie theater, having seen a horror movie, she exclaims, “I am never letting you pick the movie again.” 
Shinsou can’t help it when his heart skips a beat at her comment, looking over to her as he smirks, “again? So there will be a next time?” He asked, hoping that he hadn’t misunderstood.
Her cheeks warm, even though he asked her out, and Y/N looks away, “yes, if you want.” She mumbled, loosening her grip on his arm as they stepped outside. Cool air hits her, and Y/N can’t help the shiver that goes down her spine at the sudden cold. 
“I asked you out, of course I want a second date.” He replied, taking his arm from her grasp to remove his jacket, which he puts around her shoulders. “You still want dinner?” 
Y/N hums, taking his hand in hers and grinning as his cheeks turn red, “I’m not really hungry after all the snacks we had.” She replied, leaning her head onto his shoulder. “Let’s just walk.” 
They walked throughout the small shopping center, speaking with each other in regards to a variety of topics before beginning the walk home, when it started to rain. Thankfully, they were nearby Y/N’s home, and the laughs that consumed them as they ran didn’t stop as they ran up under the roof of Y/N’s porch. Shinsou’s hair was now matted onto his head thanks to the rain, their clothes soaked. 
Looking up at him, Y/N let another laugh escape her, “I like your hair.” She teased, bringing a hand up to ruffle it, though it had little effect.
Shinsou playfully glared at her, “yeah, yeah.” A smile found its way onto his face as he looked at her, the rain still hammering down on the roof, he found himself not wanting to let go of her hand as he asked, “can I kiss you? You don’t need-” He began to ramble, and Y/N was reminded of when he first asked her out as she watched him. 
Y/N’s hand released his and she grabbed his face, bringing his lips to hers, effectively silencing him as his hands fell onto her hips. They broke apart momentarily, only for Y/N’s arms to circle around his neck and pull him closer for yet another kiss.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He mumbled as they pulled apart.
Tilting her head, Y/N smirked, “you’re cute.” Shinsou ducked his head to hide the pink in his cheeks at this comment. “Be here next Saturday around 2 in the afternoon. This time I pick the movie.”
Looking back up, he raised a brow. “I happened to enjoy the movie, particularly the parts when you-”
“I don’t have to agree to a second date.” Y/N threatened as she playfully slapped his shoulder before heading to her front door, looking back at him as she walked.
Shinsou hummed, eyes meeting hers as he grabbed her hand and yanked her back. “I think I liked the way you shut me up the first time around better.” He presses a gentle kiss to her lips before releasing her hand so that she can head inside. 
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TODOROKI SHOUTO
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THIS BOY
you probably don’t know its a date he’s like “so how was the date”
and you there like “im sorry how was the WHAT?”
asks his siblings for help because he’s clueless, also asks izuku and maybe even bakugo during their remedial course, though camie is 10x more helpful
this is because shoto always spends all of his father’s money on you
while you two are just best friends, he’ll see you look at something and then he’ll just buy it
you guys already act like a couple. like stfu we get it, you have Class 1-A’s resident pretty boy wrapped around your finger jeez no need to brag
it because he’s in love with you already but he doesn’t know that its not his fault he is oblivious to his own emotions
this just amplifies on a date
tries to take you to a ridiculously fancy restaurant and you’re like???
settles for a cafe
you get lost in the convo and forget to actually drink your drink so he just reheats it or makes it nice and cool again ya know
super useful bb
give him validation
listens to you super intently 
intellectual conversations EVERYWHERE he is literally so fun to talk to like discuss any and everything with him
First date at a cafe, he’s rich, he stole his dad’s credit card, and he happens to love trying new things since he was sheltered as a child so he will buy EVERY S I N G L E DRINK for you two to try them all together
50/50 chance he kisses you on the first date
100% chance a kiss happens if you initiate it
he walks you home, and depending on if you are feeling hot or cold, you’ll stand by his side, preferably away from the road because shoto is a gentleman who gets hit by cars for his partner 
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When Izuku had suggested that Shoto take Y/N out on a date to help confess his feelings for her, he figured it would be a good idea. Except, he forgot the part where he asked her on the date.
Oops.
This didn’t really dawn on him as she led him away from the fancy restaurant he had tried to convince her to enter,  “we both know that neither of us would understand a thing on the menu because it’s probably all in french.” Though she had dressed for the occasion, and so had he. “Why do you even want to eat there?” Y/N asked, her hand still holding his as she dragged him along the side walk.
She knew very well how much he disliked such places. They reminded him of all the high end restaraunts he had been forced to go to as a child. And since his father was an infamous pro hero, and Shoto himself was one of the more popular Class 1-A students, it wasn’t uncommon for reporters to frequent areas he was seen in. Carrying their cameras as they tried to get a story about him or his father. He’d told Y/N numerous times how much he disliked the attention, which is why he avoided certain areas of the city. 
Shoto stared at their joined hands, that feeling of joy bubbling in his chest, “my understanding is that you take people to a nice restaurant for a date.” Came his response.
Y/N stopped walking, though Shoto didn’t, causing him to run into her and nearly trip her had he not grabbed waist to keep her from falling. “This is a date?” She asked, hands clinging to his arms as she tried to maintain balance. He’d been acting different, so Y/N felt as though she shouldn’t be shocked, but the fact that Shoto liked her?
He said nothing, releasing her from his arms before taking a step back, “I feel as though I should apologize-” Shoto began, realizing his mistake.
“I know a nice Café I’ve been meaning to visit that’s nearby, you want to continue this there?” She interrupted, extending her hand. Y/N wasn’t stupid, neither was Shoto, she knew he was inexperienced in the romance department and it was clear this was his attempt to woo her. 
It was cute. 
Looking up at her, he couldn’t help but give her a small smile, which she returned as he took her hand. Shoto was thankful that she hadn’t mentioned his poor preparation for the whole ‘date’ thing, since he failed to really ask her about it. Thankfully she was just going with it, “I really like you, Y/N.” It was blunt, but it was the truth, and it was Shoto, being himself. 
Y/N felt her cheeks warm as they approached the Café, “I really like you too, Shoto.” He moved in front of her to open the door, “and here we are.” She gestured to the small Café as they entered, it was a nice set up and she had been meaning to visit. The fact that it was Shoto that she was visiting with made it all the better.
“Why don’t you go find us somewhere to sit?” He suggested, small smile on his face. “I’ll save us a spot in line.” Y/N nodded, and it was clear that she had yet to notice that there was no line, and Shoto had Endeavor’s beautiful black mastercard in hand. 
Which is how they ended up with every possible drink on their table, some of which were going cold, and the cashier thanking Shoto for the $200 cash tip, laughing quietly side by side in their small corner within the Café. Y/N had chosen a more isolated part, though there were already very few people within the store. 
She looked up from her drink to find Shoto’s eyes on her, an unreadable look in his eyes, but she couldn’t help but smile at him, one that he returned. “I like this.” He said, his hand finding hers as he played with her fingers. 
“Me too.” Y/N replied, watching his movements. She found herself Y/N bringing her hand to Shoto’s cheek, and his eyes met hers momentarily, looking up at her in awe as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his lips.
Neither of them knew what they were doing, Shoto’s delayed reaction reminded them both of this fact as he finally kissed back after a few moments. The hand that had once been fidgeting with Y/N’s free hand, making its way to her bicep to rub circles in the spot. 
The moment didn’t last long, and when she pulled away, his lips were chasing hers, “we should do this more often.”
A small smile was on his face as he stared at her with what seemed like stars in his eyes, “yeah.” He pressed a kiss to her hand, “we should.”
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A/N: when i tell you season 4 made me CRY
2K notes · View notes
mrsalwayswrite · 3 years ago
Text
To Call Forth Love - Chapter 10
I’m sorry its taken me so long to update. I haven't had much time to write lately due to....well, life. But here we are and its long, so hopefully that makes up for the length. 
Side note- the Norwegian used is from Google translate so....
Warnings: swearing, mild sexual content, Lothbrok family dynamics (yes, its a warning), threats of violence
Words: 15,700 (yep, my longest chapter yet. I packed ALOT into this beast)
Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius @evelynshelby @pomegranates-and-blood @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @punkrocknpearls @love-all-things-writing @southernbe @ecarroll1978 @breezykpop @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie​
Series Masterlist
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"Where are we going? I thought we were going to your flat?" 
 Gyda slyly smiled at Kari, sitting in the passenger seat of her bright yellow Porsche. "Change of plans."
 Kari stared at her friend. "I'm scared to ask."
 "Torvi asked for female reinforcement. So, we are going to keep her company."
 "Ok…. But where is that?" 
 "At the brothers' house." The blonde answered nonchalantly as she made a quick right-hand turn. "It's tradition. Kind of a last family summer party before it's too cold to swim anymore. They have a pool in their backyard."
 Kari felt her stomach drop. Ivar had told her he lived with his three other brothers. Gyda had her own flat while Bjorn and Torvi owned a house nearby. Whenever she tried to ask Ivar about his home, he would shrug off the question or ignore it completely. Eventually she just stopped asking. Curiosity certainly reared its head when she wondered what his home was like. For how much money meant nothing to him, she guessed it was massive and expensive. Maybe he knew she would not fit in and that was why he never brought her? Even through his speeches of wanting her to be his girlfriend, he knew she would not fit into his lifestyle. Why else would he keep her away? It was a valid truth that she had come to terms with. Even if she found herself secretly desperate to ease into his life, she never would. 
 "Of course, they do…." Kari rolled her eyes at the notion that obviously, there was a pool in their backyard. It fit the stereotype in her mind. Then she thought about what Gyda just said. "Wait. Do you have a swimsuit with you?"
 Gyda raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at her while keeping her eyes on the road. "Don't worry, I've got you covered. Torvi brought an extra of hers for you."
 "You had this planned, didn't you? We never were going to your flat, were we?"
 "I don't kiss and tell."
 "Yes, you do. There was that guy you hooked up with two weeks ago that kept sending you dick pics after."
 "That guy was way too proud of his dick. I mean it wasn't even that big."
 "I don't want to hear this again." Kari groaned, tugging on her diamond earring. She enjoyed Gyda but she had learned far more about the woman's sex life than she had any desire to know. 
 "Okay, fine. And yes, Torvi and I planned this. Ivar doesn't know you're coming."
 "Why?"
 Gyda smirked. "Because he's been so secretive and only Hvitserk has seen you two together. Besides, the rest of the brothers want to meet you. We may be at each other's throats most of the time but we do care for one another."
 The brunette let her friend's words sink in. Hvitserk had mentioned the others wanting to meet her, but she had not fully believed it. Sure, she wanted to meet them and was curious after hearing Ivar talk about them, but why would they be interested in her? She glanced down at her clothes, the capri leggings and tank top that were practically a signature look for her. For once, she wished she dressed nicer regularly. "I wish you had said something before."
 "You wouldn't have come then. You'd have created some excuse why you couldn't come." Gyda pointed out the obviously painful truth without remorse. 
 Kari slouched in the passenger seat, butterflies doing somersaults in her belly. Slowly, she pulled her ponytail down, letting her hair hang loose past her shoulders, running her hand through it absent-mindedly in hopes it looked decent. 
 At a red light, Gyda looked over at her with a bright smile. "It'll be fun." 
 "I don't know…. isn’t it supposed to be just family?"
 "Ubbe sometimes brings his girlfriend but yeah, it's usually just family."
 There was another long silence before Kari spoke again, unable to fully conceal her nerves. "You should drop me off and just go. I don't want to intrude."
 "You're not. I'm bringing you because there is always way too much testosterone." Gyda groaned, then reached over and swatted Kari's leg. "What are you so worried about?"
 "What if they don't like me?" She whispered. The weight of her confession hung over her like a dark cloud. 
 "What?"
 She kept her gaze out the window. "The…. the others. What if they don't like me?"
 Gyda laughed. "Kari, don't worry. They will love you. I promise. And if they say anything fucking stupid, I'll slap them or Ivar will stab them. See? Simple."
 A smile grew on Kari's face. "That shouldn't make me feel better…. but for some reason it does." Maybe she had already spent too much time with various Lothbroks if the idea of people resorting to violence made her feel better. 
 "You aren't alone, if anything we'll steal Torvi and Asa away and have a girls' party."
 "Asa? That's her daughter, right?"
 "Right, and Hali is her son. I swear that boy is going to be a miniature version of Bjorn."
 "I've never been around kids much." 
 Gyda chuckled, waving a hand dismissively. "They are great, Asa is a sweetie who prefers to cuddle in someone's lap. It's Hali who is a bit wild but all his uncles love to play with him. He'll probably be swimming in the pool the whole time anyway."
 Still staring out the window, Kari thought about everything Gyda had said. Of course, she was still nervous about just showing up to a family event unannounced, even if she was sort of being kidnapped by Gyda. Some of her nerves faded away with the knowledge that Gyda and Torvi both wanted her there. She really would not be alone. She had friends. She had people that wanted to spend time with her. Hopefully Ivar would be pleased to see her. His potential reaction was the only real wrinkle in her fluctuating confidence. 
 "Okay. I can do this." She said aloud, wondering if she was trying to fully convince herself. 
 "Good, cause we're almost there."
 Kari stared out the window as they approached a gated community. Gyda showed her ID to a guard who chatted with her like they were old friends. As the yellow Porsche drove by the houses in the community, Kari just stared in awe. She had seen houses, mansions was a better term, like these before but it always amazed her that people lived in them. What did they do with all that space? All of the homes were set back from the road so Kari only caught glimpses of them but it was enough to remind her how out of her element she was. 
 Finally, they pulled up a long driveway to a massive two-story house. It was white with an insane number of windows, and a huge garage attached on the left side. On the right side looked like an expansive addition that made Kari wonder why they needed more space. The roof was made of some slate gray tiles, with a balcony above the front door and ivy draping elegantly over the corners. There were various sized potted plants and shrubbery around the front of the house and leading down the sides. Several European beech trees were strategically placed in the front yard to block most of the view from the road in an attempt at privacy. Whoever the grounds keeper was, for surely they had one, needed a raise. 
 Kari could only gape for a long moment, unable to move as she took in the immaculate, beautiful house. To think this was where Ivar lived and he always came over to her tiny townhouse. It was a struggle to tamper down the post embarrassment. 
 Gyda started talking as she parked in front of the house. The only other vehicle in sight was a silver four-door Audi, that Kari recognized as Torvi's. "Aslaug chose the house for them. When she isn't traveling for work or staying at their family home in Norway, this is where she stays. So, she insisted on this place. Something about the natural sunlight and old aesthetic blending with the new vibe. Or some other shit. I can't remember."
 "Huh." Kari said as she followed the blonde out of the car. She noticed there was no mention of the father, Ragnar, and wondered where he stayed but knew it was none of her business so she kept her question to herself. Maybe Ivar would explain it to her. 
 Gyda opened the solid, wood front door, waltzing in like she had done this a million times. Kari took two steps in and froze. The vaulted ceiling in the foyer was enough to stare at but it was the large chandelier that caused her to stare. The way it caught the afternoon light through the many windows and gently cast it about was truly gorgeous. This view was worth owning the house for itself, in her opinion. 
 A tugging on her arm made Kari squeak as she found herself suddenly being dragged along like a ragdoll. 
 "You can stare later, Torvi is waiting for us." Gyda stated, a large purse over her shoulder and her heeled boots clicking on the shiny, wood floor with each step. 
 Kari caught glimpses of other rooms as they passed down the long, straight hallway. A living room with a TV that took up most of the wall it was on. A kitchen that would make any celebrity chef drool. Pictures and awards displayed along the walls in the hallway that were obviously put up by their mother.  
 The two finally stepped out into a room with glass walls, where the pool and expansive backyard lay before them. Most likely what used to be a porch before being enclosed. Still being pulled along, Kari followed Gyda through a side door onto the stamped concrete that surrounded the pool and lounge area. A pool in a rectangle shape dominated the area, a diving board on the far end. A quick glance around showed a jacuzzi on the other side, closer to the house, the water bubbling like a cauldron. There was a large grill, several short tables and lounge chairs spread over the stamped concrete. At the far end was an adult size statue of the Buddha with two flowering pots on either side of him and some kind of cheap, plastic crown on his head. 
 The backyard was several acres wide and at least that many in length. Trees and large shrubs blocked the views of the neighbor's properties and made the place feel almost like a hidden oasis. Further down in a corner was a lovely gazebo with a cobbled stone path leading to it and gardens decorating the way. 
 "Gyda! What took you so long?!" A distinctly male voice called out. 
 "I had to pick up a package." She called back, pulling Kari into full view of the others. 
 The brunette gave a small, self-conscious smile at the many pairs of eyes that she could feel land on her. Before she could really get a good look at who was around, a shout of her name startled her. 
 "Kari!" Hvitserk jumped up from his lounge chair, wearing only dark green swim trunks, and walked over to her with a beaming smile. 
 "Hey…. OH!" She started to greet him only to be swallowed into a hug and spun in a circle. Unable to deny him, she hugged him back and laughed. It was funny since last time she saw him, he was in business attire, coming to check on her per Ivar's instructions. Now she could not help but notice his toned body. His form reminded her more of a runner, while she was used to seeing Ivar's muscular torso. A couple tattoos on Hvitserk caught her eye and she wondered if all the brothers had them. 
 When he finally set her back on her feet, he kept his hands on her shoulders, green eyes twinkling with a mischievous glint. "I didn't know you were coming here."
 "Yeah, I didn't know either until Gyda told me on the way."
 He chuckled, glancing over her head to his half-sister. "Yeah, not surprising."
 "Uh huh. Watch yourself, boy. I could still beat your ass if I wanted too." Gyda quipped. 
 "Maybe fifteen years ago. You don't have a chance now."
 "Keep telling yourself that, Hvitty." She teased, then yelled at Torvi. "You got it?"
 As soon as Kari was released by Hvitserk, she could sense a pair of sharp, blue eyes boring into her. Skin prickling under the sensation, she hesitantly looked up and immediately met Ivar's intense gaze right away, as if subconsciously her mind already knew where he was without having to search for him. 
 Reclined back on a cushioned, lounge beach chair, he wore loose black sweatpants, instead of swim trunks, under his leg braces, but without a shirt. His tattoos were a stark contrast on his skin and shamelessly on full display. Her fingers twitched with the urge to trace them again. It was his penetrating gaze though, the lack of emotion on his handsome face, that made her wonder if being here was a bad idea. 
 Before she could make a run for it, Gyda grabbed her arm as if sensing her desire to flee. "C'mon, let's get changed."
 With one last glance at Ivar, she followed behind Gyda and Torvi, who had joined them, back into the massive house. They headed to the kitchen and Gyda pointed out a bathroom across the way. 
 Placing the beach bag on the kitchen counter, Torvi dug in it for a moment before murmuring a quiet "here it is" and handed Kari something. "Here. I bought this forever ago but never wore it. Bjorn said he didn't like the colors."
 Kari took it, guessing it was the promised swimsuit, and peeked down at the two pieces of clothing in her hands. "Um…. where’s the rest of it?"
 Laughing, Gyda rolled her eyes. "Get in there and change or I'll do it for you."
 With a concerned look between the swimsuit in her hands and the two blondes staring at her expectantly, Kari finally conceded defeat and stepped into the bathroom. It was only a half bath, with a toilet and sink, but it was still roomy and felt fancy somehow. The mirror above the sink was large and there was a small, pretty flowering plant on the counter that upon inspection, turned out to be real. 
 Quickly, she changed out of her leggings and tank top and into the swimsuit, figuring it was best that way, like ripping off a band-aid. Plus, if she stopped moving, her nerves would get the better of her and she would somehow find a way to sneak home. Even if she had to crawl through a window. A smile grew on her face remembering Hvitserk's enthusiasm to see her. That had honestly surprised her but she found she did not mind. Hvitserk seemed like a good guy and the little bit of time they had spent together, she felt comfortable with him. He was funny and caring. 
 Then Ivar's blank face came to mind and all of her excitement slipped away like water down a drain. There had been no acknowledgement, not even the hint of a smile, only a hard stare that made her anxious and self-conscious.  
 Taking a deep breath, she tried to remind herself what Gyda said. At least the two Lothbrok women wanted her here, and apparently Hvitserk was happy to see her. That was what she needed to focus on and not Ivar's reaction.
 Once done changing, she finally took stock of what Torvi had leant her and gasped.  
 "Oh no. No, no, no. Hell no."
 She stared down at the wide-band bikini. The top and bottom both had alternating white and light pink stripes, strangely reminding her of cotton candy. The design was certainly something she would never pick out for herself but she did not hate it. The real problem was the way half her ass cheeks hung out of the bottoms and more of her breasts saw the light of day than they ever had before. Never had she been so exposed. Even swimsuits she bought in the past were never this revealing. Her gaze immediately zeroed in on her fuller hips and thighs, fully exposed. Faint whispers that sounded like her mother's taunts echoed in the recesses of her mind as she stared at herself. There was no way she could go out in this. She would rather wear her leggings and tank top than have anyone see her wearing this. They would all laugh at her. 
 "Kari? You done yet?" Torvi called through the door. 
 "I'm…. I’m not coming out in this!" 
 "Let us see it first!" Gyda shot back. 
 "But…." Kari tried once again, unsuccessfully, to tuck her breasts into the bikini top. "It's padded!" 
 "Open this door, Kari." Gyda demanded, suddenly sounding closer. 
 She took one more look at herself, feeling the embarrassed tears welling in her eyes. With a deep breath, knowing she could not escape Gyda just yet, she opened the door. Immediately her blue-green eyes scanned to make sure it was only Gyda and Torvi in the kitchen before she further opened the door so they could see. 
 "Shit, Kari, you look great." Gyda said after giving a wolf whistle. 
 "Half of my butt is hanging out and most of my boobs. I can't wear this out there." She said, almost panicking now. 
 "No, they aren't, you're overexaggerating."
 "Kari," Torvi said kindly, drawing the brunette's frenzied attention, "you're more curvy than I am and let's be honest, your ass and tits are bigger than mine. I'd kill to have a body like yours. You look beautiful. But if you're uncomfortable, I think I have a cover you can wear over it."
 "Please." She replied softly, hating how she sounded like a fearful child.  
 Torvi smiled at her. "I'll be right back."
 Swiftly, Kari stepped back into the bathroom before Gyda could say anything. Her nerves felt alight and not in a good way. Grabbing her phone, she scrolled through her Pinterest, anything to distract herself from this nightmare. If it was just Gyda and Torvi seeing her in this, she might have been uncomfortable but she could tolerate it. Even with Ivar she might have shied away some but he always made her feel so desirable that she doubted her nerves would have lasted long. It was the thought of prancing around in this in front of the other brothers, men she had never met, that made her stomach twist into knots and her breathing quicken painfully. 
 Finally, a gentle knock on the door and a quiet, "It's me," had Kari open it to take the cover from Torvi. It was a solid white oversized V-neck cover with a simple pattern around the neckline. Without wasting a moment, she slipped it on over the bikini, immediately feeling better. The hem of the cover touched the tops of her thighs, higher than she would have liked, but it was better than before. 
 She looked up, running her hands over the cover. "Thank you." 
 Torvi smiled softly with understanding. "I understand. I don't wear swimsuits that show my stomach anymore. Stretch marks." She shrugged casually, moving back to slip onto an island stool. 
 Kari trailed behind her with her bundle of clothes and purse. Without a word, Gyda slipped into the bathroom to change, leaving the other two waiting for her. It was now that Kari really took note of Torvi's swimsuit; it was a classy black and white one piece with thin crisscross straps across the back. The blonde could easily wear a bikini and look amazing in it, but it made Kari feel marginally better that she was not the only one self-conscious about her body. Perhaps that was why Torvi shared about her stretch marks?
 "Is it…." Kari started then stopped, leaning against the black marble countertop. Surveying the grand kitchen for a second, hoping to gather her thoughts, she took a deep breath before continuing. "Is it okay that I'm here? Gyda said this is a family event and I don't want to intrude."
 Torvi turned to face her fully, green eyes gazing at her before she shrugged again. "Normally we try to keep it just family, Ubbe sometimes brings Margrethe, but I doubt anyone will be upset you're here. Honestly, the brothers keep asking about you, so now maybe they will finally shut up and stop teasing Ivar."
 Kari fiddled with the hem of the swimsuit cover. "He didn't seem happy to see me."
 "Ivar?" At Kari's nod, Torvi snorted. "I don't think it's you he's upset with. He's a very private person, as I'm sure you know. If I took a guess, I'd say he was keeping you hidden."
 "But why?"
 "Look, I've known the Lothbroks for about ten years and during that time, I've seen Ivar go through some ups and downs…. well, as much as he lets anyone see. I mostly heard it from Bjorn. Point is, he's allowing you into his inner circle. Hell, you're probably at the center of his inner circle. I saw how he acted with you at the yoga studio. You mean something to him. It's no secret he wants you to be his girlfriend. Maybe he is worried that you'll meet his family and decide we're too much or that you find one of his brothers more attractive or easier to deal with? He pretends to be super confident but it wouldn't be the first time that a woman chose one of the others over him."
 Every time Kari heard that, her heart broke once again for Ivar. How many times had he been overlooked because of his legs? Or his harsh demeanor? Something that she was beginning to realize was just to protect himself, to keep others at arm's length. It made her want to hug him and never let him go, to remind him he was more than just his disability. That he was worth being cared about by more than just family. 
 Kari must have been lost in her thoughts for longer than she realized. Suddenly she was drawn out of her inner musings by Gyda coming out of the bathroom, having changed into a plant print cutout tankini. Of course, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine cover. There had to be something in the Lothbrok blood for everyone to be this damn attractive. 
 "Are we ready?" She asked, her large bag in hand, presumably with her clothes in it. "Kari, you can put your stuff in here for now."
 Torvi touched Kari's shoulder. "Don't worry. If anything, you are here to keep me and Gyda company, okay?"
 Kari smiled, finding herself reassured and grateful for the two women. "Thanks." She slipped her clothes and shoes into Gyda's bottomless bag. They stashed their bags in the glass room and then headed back out into the backyard. 
 Soon as they stepped out, a little girl came running over. Torvi swept her up into her arms gracefully. She turned to Kari with the little blonde girl on her hip. "This is Asa. How old are you, Asa?"
 The little girl stared at her mom before shyly tucking her face into the crook of Torvi's neck, while her blue eyes stayed on Kari. After a moment, she held up two fingers. 
 "You're two?" Kari asked. When the little girl shyly nodded, Kari's smile widened. "I wish I was that old. It's nice to meet you, Asa. I'm Kari."
 Torvi pressed a quick kiss to the top of her daughter's head. "Did daddy let you play in the pool yet?"
 Asa shook her head. 
 "Alright, let's go kick his butt. He did promise, didn't he?"
 That made the little girl giggle and Kari could feel her heart melting slightly. She was just too cute and most likely spoiled by all her uncles. Even her swimsuit was a purple halter top and green bottom with a little skirt that was very The Little Mermaid-esque.  
 A happy scream followed by a splash drew Kari's gaze to the pool. A young boy resurfaced laughing loudly. Bjorn, she recognized, was in the pool also, but turned to look up at Torvi as she approached with Asa on her hip. 
 "Let's go sit down." Gyda slipped her arm through Kari's and pulled her along to where there was a grouping of lounge chairs. Ivar, Hvitserk and a curly-haired blond reclined with beers in hand. 
 Kari could feel Ivar's gaze tracing over her form as she approached, like fingers trailing over her skin leaving a fire in its wake. She sneaked a peek at him, only to find his ardent gaze on her. She blushed and kept her eyes downward. At least he did not look impassive anymore, but she still felt hesitant. 
 "Hey boys. What are we drinking this time?" Gyda questioned. 
 Hvitserk turned the beer bottle to show the label. 
 "Ew. I don't why you drink that shit. I'm going to get some wine. Kari, you want some?"
 "Ah, sure." She murmured.
 "Good. You boys be nice to my friend, especially you Ivar." With that Gyda walked back towards the house but not before giving Kari a subtle wink.
 "Take a seat, Kari." Hvitserk gestured to an open chair next to him. 
 For a split second she considered slinking into the seat, anything for the attention to be taken off her, but realized that was not what she actually wanted. It had been two days since she had seen Ivar and the last time they hung out, it was when he returned from his trip to Italy. He had picked her up the next day to take her out to eat but he ended up spending the majority of the time on his phone, yelling into it in a foreign language and seeming on the verge of throwing his phone or punching a wall. She ended up ordering take-out for them that they ate at her townhouse but he was too wired to really relax and left soon after. The next two days he had been busy with work so they could only text. The one time they managed to Face-Time, she could not help but notice his bruised knuckles and when she asked him about them, he said he did some boxing to release stress. 
 With butterflies doing somersaults in her belly, she took a step closer to stand near Ivar's lounge chair. Tugging on the hem of her cover as she quietly spoke. "Hey, Ivar. Can I sit with you?"
 "Oh, you're acknowledging me now?" He snapped, never removing his severe blue eyes off of her.  
 She blinked owlishly, surprised by his sharp tone. Her stomach dropped to her feet and she could feel an embarrassed flush rising on her cheeks. "Yeah, I'm sorry." She whispered, dropping her chin, unable to meet his eyes anymore. This was all a mistake, she knew it. This only sealed her poor decision. 
 Shifting to look back at the house, she wondered if she should find Gyda and beg to drive her back home, or if she should find the closest bus stop. Before she could take a step away, a calloused hand snatched hers in a firm grip. Startled, she looked down to see Ivar holding her hand. Her eyes jumped up to stare at him in shock, confused by his conflicting actions. In those vivid, expressive eyes she could easily read the regret in them. Without her conscious decision, her heart softened. 
 "Sit." He said quietly, what most likely meant to come out commanding but sounded more as a plea. She nodded and allowed him to guide her onto the wide lounge chair next to him. 
 A furious blush warmed her cheeks when Ivar wrapped an arm around her waist, tucking her into his side and pressing a quick kiss to her temple. What she assumed was his nonverbal apology. 
 "Hey, this is Sigurd." Hvitserk said, gesturing to the unknown blond sitting with them. "I don't think you've met him yet. Ubbe had to take a call, so you'll meet him later."
 "Hi, it's nice to meet you." She said, looking at the other Lothbrok. He had light blond, curly hair in frazzled braids and brown eyes. At first glance she would not have guessed he was one of the brothers, but she figured genetics were always weird. He had a lean body similar to Hvitserk with a tribal tattoo sleeve and a Thor's hammer necklace laying on his bare chest like the other brothers wore.
 He silently raised his beer bottle at her, still stretched out in his chair like a lazy cat in the sun. 
 Thoughtfully she peered up at Ivar, keeping her voice low. "I'm sorry, I didn't know Gyda was bringing me here otherwise I'd have told you. She literally didn't tell me until we were pulling up."
 "It's fine." He murmured evenly, but Kari got the feeling that was not how he truly felt. 
 "Do….do you want me to leave?"
 He sighed, his grip around her tightening for a moment, before he seemed to relax. "No. I'm glad you're here. It won't be boring…." a wolfish grin grew as he slid his hand up her exposed thigh sensually, ".... especially if you take off this cover and let me see what's underneath." 
 "No!" She squeaked, grabbing his roving hand before it could migrate further. 
 He chuckled. "Come on, kitten…. just a peek?"
 "Ivar, no."
 "Why not?"
 "Its…. it’s scandalous."
 Hvitserk raised his hand, a devious smirk on his face. "I want to see."
 She covered her face with her hands, embarrassment flooding her. "Oh gods, this was such a bad idea." Then she had to rapidly grasp Ivar's hand as it slipped under the swimsuit cover to caress her hip and trace her bikini bottom. "Ivar…."
 "Fine." He slipped his hand back out but splayed it over her exposed thigh. "You can show me later."
 Thankfully, Gyda reappeared with a glass of white wine in each hand and another blond male in tow who carried the wine bottle. He had short, cropped hair and a muscular body that spoke of many hours in the gym. Kari wondered if this was the brother that Ivar regularly worked out with. 
 "Why are you sitting with Ivar? I brought you here! I'm even bringing you wine!" Gyda teased, handing a glass to Kari. 
 "You also dragged me here unknowingly. Wine is the least you could do." Kari said without thinking, making the others laugh. 
 "You know damn well you're happy to be here." Gyda winked then took the open lounge chair next to her. "Right, I'm guessing you've been introduced to Sigurd." She flicked a hand in the curly-haired Lothbrok's direction followed by vaguely gesturing to the last unknown brother. "Now this pain in my ass, over here, is Ubbe. Ubbe, this is Kari."
 Sitting between Hvitserk and Gyda, Ubbe rolled his blue eyes but leaned forward to shake Kari's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
 "Yeah, likewise."
 Ubbe sat back with an impish glint in his eyes. "So, you're Ivar's girl?"
 "Um…. we’re just..." She started, unsure what to say to his family. 
 Ivar broke in, his single word answer almost coming out in a growl. "Yes."
 She whipped her head to look at him, only for him to stare her down as if waiting to see if she could refute his claim. Logically, she knew she should say something, argue that they were only friends. Yet any rebuttal died on her tongue under his fierce gaze. Instead she chose to sip on her wine generously.  
 "Right." Ubbe finally said, watching the two with an amused look. 
 Sigurd scoffed loudly before taking a swig of his beer. 
 "Something you want to say, Sig?" Ivar turned narrowed eyes at his brother.
 The curly-haired brother smirked, seeming to debate saying anything. Finally, he sat up and his gaze zeroed in on Kari. "How much does he pay you to fuck him?"
 The reaction from those around was instantaneous. Next to her, Ivar tensed, ready to spring up and fight his brother. A sharp reprimand of "Sigurd!" came from both Gyda and Ubbe while Hvitserk pinched the bridge of his nose. 
 Something rose up inside Kari though. She understood enough to know about the animosity between Sigurd and Ivar. His comment felt more like a cruel jab at Ivar than her. She was just the pathway to try and cause torment between the brothers. But if no one else was going to stand up and defend the dark-haired Lothbrok, she would. 
 So instead of taking his words personally, she just smiled sweetly at Sigurd, placing a hand on Ivar's thigh as she responded. "He doesn't. I'm happy to do it for free. Besides, he has something you never will."
 "And what's that?"
 "A cock big enough to pleasure someone….is that why you go through girlfriends so quickly?"
 The rising tension evaporated in a flash. Gyda snorted so hard she almost dropped her wine glass. Hvitserk threw his head back laughing while Ubbe tried to cover his smile with his hand. Kari was sure her eyes were comically wide as what she said without thinking sunk in. Her face flushed and she pressed her face against Ivar's shoulder. Sure, she had meant to defend Ivar but she had not meant to be so crass. The statement seemed to fly out of her mouth before her brain could catch up. 
 Next to her, Ivar laughed as he nuzzled her. She squirmed under his onslaught but also at realizing she just insulted one of Ivar's brothers. Even if it was the one he liked least of all. For a fleeting moment, the idea she had just made herself an enemy crossed her mind. 
 When she sneaked a peek, Sigurd quickly drained the rest of his beer and walked away murmuring something about getting another one. 
 "I think you'll fit in, Kari." Ubbe stated, still trying unsuccessfully to hide his amusement. 
 Kari was unsure of that. She quickly took a large sip of the wine to settle her fraying nerves. What had she been thinking? It hurt to hear Ivar's brother being so blatantly cruel to him and if this was a regular occurrence, no wonder Ivar wanted to spend most of their time at her place. 
 "I didn't realize you liked my cock so much, kattungen." Ivar whispered salaciously into her ear, drawing her back to the present. His tongue flicked her earlobe, making her jolt. "I think I'll have to give you a reward later."
 She shivered at his tone, her core clenching without resistance. It was unfair how just at his husky tone alone, her body betrayed her desire. But they were in public though, in front of his family no less, so she willfully attempted to cool the heat warming her veins. With a smile, she tried to nudge him away from her but he was too strong, only tightening his grip on her and laying a quick kiss to her neck. 
 "I can't believe I said that." She whispered, hoping only he heard her. 
 He smirked, an unmistakable fire in his eyes. "It was sexy as fuck."
 Thankfully, Torvi came over to join the group, a welcome distraction for Kari as she was sure the fire in Ivar's gaze was enough to set her ablaze and further stoke her own heat. 
 Torvi settled into Sigurd's now absent spot. "What did I miss?" 
 "Kari said Ivar's cock is bigger than Sigurd's." Hvitserk stated smugly. 
 Torvi stared at Kari with a tilt of her head and an amused grin. "Really? And how did we get on the subject of dicks already?"
 Some of the group laughed as Kari covered her face once again, mortified that she was the center of attention because of what she thoughtlessly said. She had the sneaking suspicion none of them would ever let her live this down. 
 "Alright, enough. Come on, it's girl time now." Gyda grabbed Kari's hand and dragged her to her feet, much to Ivar's obvious chagrin. She scoffed, meeting her half-brother's gaze. "I'll give her back later."
 The three women wandered over to some open chairs further down from the guys and closer to the Buddha statue. Gyda carried the wine bottle and her glass while Kari carefully held her own glass. Torvi snatched a beer from a nearby cooler as they meandered over. Gyda settled on a single, lounge chair adjacent to a cushioned two-person seat which the other two sat on. 
 "Alright, we have a very serious matter to discuss. Your answer may or may not break our friendship." Gyda started, leaning forward as she pointed a single finger at the brunette. 
 Kari found herself straightening in her seat, hand clutching her wine glass tighter. 
 Eyes intent, Gyda's voice dropped conspiringly. "Who is sexier: Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes?"
 Shock rendered Kari momentarily speechless. At Gyda's serious tone, she had imagined a topic that would involve confessing a secret, not…. not a movie franchise. "Um…. Bucky." She hesitantly answered. 
 "Yes!!" Gyda shouted, throwing her arms up and almost spilling her wine. "I knew I liked you! Ivar, she is mine now!"
 Kari laughed at her enthusiasm; all concern having vanished instantly. "I take it you like him too?"
 "Hell yeah. I would willingly choke on his cock or he could pound my pussy to pulp and I wouldn't complain either way."
 Torvi shook her head, a hint of a smile tilting the corners of her lips up. "Something's wrong with you."
 "You prefer Steve?" Kari inquired, once she recovered from choking on air at Gyda's blunt statement. Her friend always had a way of surprising her, and giving her second-hand embarrassment.
 Torvi shrugged. "A tall, handsome blond. That's my kind of man."
 Peeking over at Bjorn who was still playing in the pool with both kids, Kari hummed thoughtfully. "Huh. Makes sense."
 "No wonder you are with Ivar if you prefer Bucky Barnes."
 "But we aren't…. together." Kari fixed her eyes on her wine, knowing her answer sounded lame even to her own ears. 
 Gyda patted her leg. "You keep telling yourself that."
 "We're just friends."
 "No, you aren't."
 "Kari, it's fine." Torvi shot Gyda a look. "It's between you two, it's not really our business."
 "She's our friend!" Gyda whined, throwing herself back in her seat dramatically. 
 "And she will let us know if something changes. Including telling us if Ivar does something stupid and we need to kick his ass."
 Kari giggled as Torvi tapped her beer bottle against her wine glass. "I promise. Hvitserk already made me swear too."
 "Good. So is Ivar really that good in bed?" 
 "Gyda!" Kari exclaimed but laughed at how shameless her friend was. 
 Torvi thankfully changed the topic of conversation to Ubbe's birthday coming up next month. Asa wandered over, wrapped in a green and brown towel with long ears sticking out that made her look like baby Yoda. When Sigurd eventually appeared, Hali dragged him to the pool where they jumped in together. Not long after, Hvitserk joined them, doing a cannon-ball with the splash almost hitting the ladies. 
 Kari chatted with Torvi and Gyda for some time, enjoying herself immensely. The topics varied, but she never felt unincluded. More than once, she glanced over, only to find Ivar's gaze already on her. After the third time, he tipped his head to the side and patted the spot next to him. A not-so subtle invitation or demand, depending on how you looked at it. 
 A smile teased her lips and she nodded. She started to rise, with her second glass of wine in hand, when the sound of a loud "shit" from Gyda distracted her. 
 "What is she doing here?" Torvi quietly asked with an undertone of frustration. 
 Curious, Kari followed their gazes towards the door leading into the glassed-in porch. She was met with the sight of two blondes emerging in matching, white swimsuits that barely seemed to cover anything. Both strutted as if they were on a runway, while chatting with one another. 
 "Kari, go sit with Ivar." Gyda encouraged, snatching her hand and leading her back without a moment's hesitation towards where Ivar and Ubbe were still sitting. The wine was left forgotten on the side table. 
 "What's going on?" Kari asked in a hushed tone. 
 "Drama. I can't believe that bitch brought her. What was she thinking?"
 "Gyda?"
 She clicked her tongue but hurriedly whispered back. "That's Ivar's ex."
 Surprise made Kari almost stumble but she managed to catch herself at the last second. Further explanations had to wait because they came upon the brothers at the same time the two blondes did. Soon as Kari was close enough, Ivar held out his hand, a sweet gesture, but she could see the tension and anger in the set of his shoulders and the thin line of his lips. Silently, he guided her to sit between his spread legs, arms banding around her waist and pulling her indecently close. For once though, she did not complain. 
 "Hey, baby." One of the blondes said in a sickly-sweet voice as she pressed a kiss to Ubbe's cheek. "Sorry we're late."
 "It's fine." Ubbe slowly answered as he shifted his gaze to the other blonde. "I didn't know you were bringing someone."
 "This is supposed to be family only." Gyda snapped, having dropped into her seat next to Ivar and Kari. 
 The blonde, who stood next to Ubbe still, narrowed her eyes at Kari. "Then why is she here?" 
 "That's Ivar's girlfriend." Ubbe answered.
 "Uh, hi, I'm Kari." She decided to speak up, hoping introductions would somehow break the rising tension. At her words, Ivar momentarily dropped his head to kiss her shoulder. Unsure if his actions were encouraging or reprimanding, she laid her hands over his, which were still wrapped around her. 
 "Hmmm…. Margrethe." She replied flatly, with a pinched look, as if talking to Kari was beneath her. "I'm Ubbe's fiancé."
 The other blonde smiled pleasantly as she looked Kari in the eye. "I'm Freydis. It's lovely to meet you."
 "Yeah, nice to meet you too." Kari managed to say around the suddenly tightened grip around her waist. She would be a liar if she said she was not intimidated by Freydis. While both women were beautiful, something that seemed required to be in the presence of the Lothbrok family, Freydis was a step beyond that. With her doll-like features, lovely blue eyes and flawless skin, she was gorgeous. Kari could feel all her own insecurities screaming at her in the presence of Ivar's ex. How the youngest Lothbrok went from someone as stunning as Freydis to as girl-next-door as Kari, she had no idea….and it made her uncomfortable. 
 "What the fuck is she doing here?" Ivar demanded, ignoring Freydis' presence completely.  
 Margrethe rolled her eyes as her hand slowly stroked across Ubbe's shoulders. "I get bored and wanted to spend time with my best friend, so fuck off." She turned her head to look at Freydis beside her. "Come on, let's get something to drink." 
 After a quick kiss to Ubbe, the two headed back towards the house but not before Freydis glanced back at Ivar and Kari one last time. 
 Once they were far enough away, Gyda rounded on Ubbe, not even bothering to contain her ire. "Fiancé? Really, Ubbe?" She sneered. 
 "Hell no. I haven't proposed. I damn well don't plan to and she knows it."
 "Why are you still with her? She's a greedy bitch."
 "Gyda, I know you don't like her but she's still my girlfriend."
 "Who the fuck knows why." 
 Ubbe turned his attention to Ivar. "I swear I didn't know she was bringing Freydis. I'd have told her not to come then."
 "As long as she stays the fuck away from me, I don't give a shit." The dark-haired Lothbrok growled at his older brother. 
 The residual tension in the air was painful to abide in. It felt like a caged animal, pacing, waiting, ready for the moment to unleash a terrorizing attack. 
 "Hey, I have a question." Kari blurted out, unable to take the way the tension made her skin feel like it was being sunburned. Once Gyda and Ubbe shifted to watch her, she posed her question. "Ah, well, I've been wondering for a while but why don't you guys have bodyguards or something?"
 Ivar snorted, brushing her hair over her shoulder to press his face into the crook of her neck, making her squirm although he did not relent his position. 
 It was Ubbe that answered with a wide grin. "Eh, we don't need them. We can handle ourselves."
 "But you guys have drivers, isn't the next step to have bodyguards?"
 "You worried for us?" Ivar whispered, nipping at her skin, only to soothe the spot with his tongue. 
 "I'm serious."
 "Let's just say we know how to protect ourselves. Besides, no one is stupid enough to come after us." Ubbe concluded, raising his beer in a mock salute.
 Gyda snickered. "This is why I stay out of the family business."
 "You've no issue spending Father's money though." Ubbe retorted in a jovial way. 
 She shrugged and sent Kari a playful wink. 
 A minute later, Bjorn, Torvi and Asa came over, taking open seats with Asa sitting in Torvi's lap. Even though Kari had met Bjorn before, it still shocked her to see how much larger he was compared to the other brothers, both in size and physique. Now sitting next to Torvi, he appeared larger. With his long, braided ponytail and shaved sides, a short beard and sharp, blue eyes, he seemed quite formidable. Kari wondered briefly if that helped with the family business. 
 "See Kari there, she is the one who teaches yoga." Torvi softly said to Asa. 
 Asa peeked over at Kari, shyly smiling, still wrapped in her towel but with a juice box in hand. 
 "I bet if you ask nicely, she might show you something." Torvi said then looked up at Kari. "Lately she loves watching me do yoga at home. It's cute when she tries to do it with me."
 Bjorn chuckled, slinging an arm over the back of his wife's chair. "And usually falls down onto her face."
 "Hey, she's trying!" Torvi defended, elbowing Bjorn in the side.
 Looking at the little girl across the circle of seats, Kari smiled. "Want me to show you something I've been working on? I'm not very good at it though, so if I fall over, you can laugh at me. I'll be laughing at myself too."
 Asa nodded fervently, eyes wide in anticipation. 
 "What do you say?" Torvi tapped her daughter's nose. 
 Asa looked up at her mom then back to Kari. "Please." Even though it came out sounding more like "peas".
 "Sure. I need to stretch some first." Kari stood up and immediately had to slap Ivar's hand away that prowled down the curve of her ass. She tried to glare at him over her shoulder, only to be met with a mock innocence. Overly aware of the eyes on her, she chose a spot nearby in the plush, green grass, trying to keep her nerves to a minimum. Carefully, she warmed up her muscles, doing a few simple stretches so as not to hurt herself. Honestly, she was nervous since she never did advanced poses in front of others. It was not that she was unable to, for she did them frequently at home on her own time. It just felt like she was vying for attention or trying to show off when she did advanced poses in view of others. Conflicting memories of her grandmother's encouraging voice fought with her mother's reprimand in her mind as she stretched. 
 "What are you going to do?" Gyda called over, returning from retrieving her wine glass and bottle. 
 The question pulled her from her mind's internal war, bringing her back to the present. "Um, it's called the super soldier."
 "Oooo, I like it already."
 Once stretched, Kari stood frozen for a moment realizing she was going to need to take her cover off to do the pose. 
 "Kari, you look sexy as hell, now take the damn cover off." Gyda called out. 
 Kari hesitated, fears and insecurities rising afresh within her. 
 "Do it or Ivar will get his ass up and help you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
 "I hate you." She mumbled but gave in. Slowly, she walked back over to the circle of chairs, pulling the white cover off and dropped it on the lounge chair Ivar still sat on. Her eyes briefly flickered up only to meet Ivar's smoldering gaze. Instantly, she could feel herself flush. Hoping no one noticed, she moved back to her grassy spot. A loud wolf-whistle came from the direction of the pool, most likely from Hvitserk but Kari ignored it, knowing if she thought about it too much, she would make a run for it. Mentally preparing herself, she pulled her hair back into a bun on the nape of her neck, then faced the group but kept her gaze downward, too scared to look at them. 
 After taking a deep breath, she bent over to lay her hands flat on the grass without bending her knees. Next, she hooked her right shoulder behind her knee and extended her left arm for balance. She took a long, deep breath before continuing onward. Then she lifted her left foot and grabbed it with her right hand, still tucked behind her right leg. After another deep breath, she pulled her left leg up until her knee was pointed towards the sky. She held it there for three breaths before slowly releasing her leg back down and carefully straightening back up. 
 A small round of applause greeted her when she straightened. 
 "Another!"
 "You go, Kari!"
 "Do another one!"
 Blushing furiously at the cheers, she leaned forward into downward facing dog. Carefully, she slid her hands forward until her elbows touched the grass with her ass still in the air. Taking a deep breath and hoping she did not make a fool of herself, she engaged her core and kicked her legs up so she was doing a handstand but still on her elbows. Once she felt stable, she pressed her legs together and slowly bent her knees until they were almost parallel with her forearms on the ground. Feeling the burn in her core and arms, she hoped she could finish the pose without falling on her face. Next, she lowered her legs, knees apart now and big toes touching until her feet touched the top of her head. She could not help the smile that stretched across her face as she held the pose for a couple seconds, making sure to breathe slow. Scorpion pose was one she was still trying to master on her own, let alone in front of others. If anything, this felt like a victory for her. Methodically she unfurled, bringing her legs up and then back to the ground. 
 When she finally stood up, brushing the grass off her forearms, it was to another round of applause.
 "That was amazing!" Torvi said. 
 "I was thinking sexy as fuck!" Hvitserk exclaimed, a smile on his face from where he now stood, leaning against Ubbe's chair. 
 Self-consciously, Kari tugged on her swimsuit, making sure everything was tucked into place, as much as it could be, before pulling her hair out of the bun. She walked back over to the lounge chair quickly and yanked the cover back over her body. 
 "I'm going to wash my hands." She said without meeting anyone's eyes, skirting around the group and heading towards the glassed-in porch. 
 Laughter erupted behind her as she approached the door but she ignored it as she walked inside. She padded through the porch, stomach twisting in knots, and turned into the kitchen. Her feet stuttered to a halt as she noticed Margrethe and Freydis standing there with bottles of something in hand. For a split second she thought about turning and heading to the bathroom but it was too late as the two blondes noticed her intrusion. 
 "Hi, I just need to wash my hands." Kari explained. After a moment's hesitation, she walked around the opposite side of the massive island from them and towards the kitchen sink.
 "So, you're Ivar's girlfriend?" Margrethe stated with a mocking undertone. "I didn't think someone like you was his…. type."
 "Margrethe…." Freydis chided. 
 "What? Look at her. I mean she's got tits and an ass, and I guess she could be pretty but that's it."
 "I'm sorry." Freydis apologized kindly. After a long, awkward pause where the kitchen was silent besides Kari washing her hands, she asked, "How long have you and Ivar been together?"
 "Um, we aren't…. we’re just friends." Kari found herself admitting, as she finished drying her hands and turned around to see them both staring at her. Though Freydis had a gentle smile on her face, Margrethe looked nothing less than the cat that caught the canary and planned on lording it over everyone. 
 "Oh?" 
 "See. Told you, Dis. He is still single." Margrethe smugly said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "He's just playing the game."
 "Game?" Kari muttered aloud. 
 Freydis set her glass down and came around the island to stand in front of Kari. Her blue eyes were bright as they met Kari's. "You seem like a nice girl and clearly the others like you too. So, I'll be honest because I don't want you to get caught up in the Lothbrok drama and get hurt. Okay?"
 "Okay."
 "Ivar and I are getting back together. We're just taking a break right now. Truly, I know we are destined for each other and he agrees. We had a bad fight and needed some space but he loves me just as much as I love him. So, I know he will come back to me when he is ready. I'm so sorry to tell you that you're just the rebound girl. I'm sure he likes you but that's as far as it will ever go. Gyda likes to try and mess with the brothers' love lives so I am sorry if she dragged you into this without telling you the whole truth. It's not your fault. I am sure Gyda lied to you and probably Ivar too. But it's good for you to know now. I don't hold it against you if you've have had sex with him but just know your time with him is limited, okay? How long have you two been 'friends'?"
 "We met last month." Kari whispered, dread and despair a writhing mess of snakes churning in her stomach. Air refused to fill her lungs, leaving her struggling for breath. 
 Freydis sighed. "It probably will be soon then. Just take advantage of the things he purchases for you, so when he leaves, you can have something to sell if you're in a pinch. Yeah?"
 "Ah…. sure."
 "Good. You seem like a nice girl. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this."
 "It's…." Kari choked back a sudden sob. "It's alright. Thank you."
 "Of course, we girls need to look out for each other. Is there anything I can do for you?" She inquired, sounding so genuine in her desire to help, her gaze imploring and lips in a faint, comforting smile. 
 "No…. no. I just need to check my phone. Have you seen Gyda's bag?"
 "I think she left it on the porch." Margrethe helpfully added, never having lost the smug grin on her face as she watched Kari with a hawk-like intensity. 
 "Oh, right. Thank you." Kari shifted back and forth on her feet, body primed to run, to flee before anyone could see the tears that welled pathetically in her eyes. 
 Freydis reached out and squeezed her arm, a brief exchange of understanding, then strutted back around to grab her drink and follow Margrethe to the porch and outside. 
 Once alone, Kari pressed a hand over her mouth to try and stifle the sob that lodged itself in her throat. She knew it. Everything Freydis said made sense. 
 Without a second thought, she rushed around the island and onto the porch, quickly locating Gyda's bag. She scooped her purse and clothes out only to hurry back inside. A quick check of the time and she figured she might be able to catch a bus, but in this gated community, there was no way buses came through so she would end up walking somewhere. Feeling the sting of tears in her eyes, she sniffled, trying desperately to hold them back. She looked up the nearest bus stop on her phone, pleased it was only a few blocks away from the gated community. 
 Once positive she knew where she was going, she stared down at her clothes on the counter, wondering if she should change before leaving. It would certainly look odd for her to be walking down the street in the swimsuit cover and sandals in such an upscale neighborhood. Then she thought about any of the Lothbroks finding her trying to leave and pushed the potential oddity of her attire from her mind. It appeared there was a gas station nearby when she found the bus stop, it would be simple to change there quickly. Somehow she could give the swimsuit and cover back to Torvi…. but not today. Right now, she needed to leave. 
 She tried to shove her clothes into her purse, only succeeding by making it look like an over-inflated balloon but it worked. Lastly, she reached to grab her phone off the kitchen counter but froze. Ivar bought it for her. Freydis' words came back to her about taking advantage of the things he bought for her. Bile burned the back of her throat at the idea. She promised herself she would not be one of those girls to him. Slowly, she retracted her hand, forming it into a fist by her side. Ivar could give the phone to Freydis or throw it in the trash for all she cared. Even with the feeling of her heart being ripped in two, she refused to take advantage of him or his money. She was a better person than that. Or so she hoped. 
 Worried someone would come in soon, she tossed her purse over her shoulder and swiftly headed towards the front door. She passed through the hallway she entered in, but the pictures and awards blurred before her eyes as the repressed tears threatened to make an appearance. Hastily, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand but knew it was ultimately futile. 
 "Kari?" 
 Her stride never faltered towards her escape, even after hearing Hvitserk call her name from what sounded like the porch. 
 "Kari? Where are you going?" His voice came from behind her, probably standing at the entrance of the hallway now. 
 "I have to go." Kari said, not bothering to turn around, unsure if he could even hear her. She could barely hear footsteps behind her over the sound of her sniffles and ragged breathing. It did not matter since she was close to her escape, just a couple more moments. Her hand touched the handle, just beginning to pull the door open when Hvitserk's hand appeared in her direct line of vision and slammed it closed. Although the sound was muffled, it echoed in her mind like a gunshot. 
 "What's going on?" Hvitserk stood directly behind her, his hand still firmly planted on the door as if to prevent her from even considering leaving without permission again. 
 "It's nothing." She murmured, staring down at her feet. 
 "I seriously doubt that if you are trying to sneak away while crying…. what happened?"
 "Nothing. I just…. I just want to go home."
 "Okay." He shifted to lean his shoulder against the door, ducking his head to try and catch her eyes. "Does this have to do with the yoga stuff?"
 "No. Just…. please, Hvitserk."
 "You need to tell me something. Look, I'll give you a ride, we can leave right now but you have to tell me what happened."
 She swallowed thickly, still refusing to look at him. It was taking all of her willpower to keep the tears at bay. At any moment she felt the tears would come forth with all the power of a hurricane, reducing her to a sniveling mess on the floor, nursing a broken heart. It was all her fault though. How could she have believed someone like Ivar Lothbrok would actually be interested in her for more than just a one-night stand. She was just a challenge for him, someone to pass the time. Then once she gave in, once they finally had sex, he would walk out of her life and back into Freydis' arms and bed…. where he apparently belonged. 
 "Kari?" Hvitserk softly prompted. 
 "It's…. I just have a better understanding now…. of where I stand…. of my purpose here."
 "Your purpose?"
 She sniffed, wiping her wet eyes once again before the tears fell. "I'm just a rebound girl….and that's alright. I get it. But I just want to go home now." 
 "Fuck. Freydis said that, didn't she?"
 "It doesn't matter. Can you please just take me to the bus stop, I can get home from there." She knew she was begging but she did not care anymore. 
 "Kari, give me that." He grabbed her purse from her and tossed it onto a wooden side table. His hands held hers in a manner that was comforting verse restraining. His thumbs rubbed along the back of her hands as he softly spoke. "Look at me, you know it's not like that."
 "It doesn't matter." She shook her head, even as her hands gripped his tighter, the feeling being the only thing keeping her from falling apart at the front door. "I shouldn't have let Gyda bring me here. I should have made her drop me off."
 "Kari…." He began but was interrupted. 
 "Hvitty?" Ivar's loud voice boomed from the kitchen. "You better not be trying to fuck Kari!"
 Kari flinched at the sound. The facade of strength she fought to maintain evaporated like smoke. The tears she had been trying so desperately to withhold slipped free, rolling down her cheeks like a cleansing rain.  
 "Over here!" Hvitserk called back, releasing her hands but not moving away. 
 Ivar's measured gait could be heard coming down the hallway like the footsteps of doom. 
 "What the fuck is going on? You disappear to find Kari and then…." His voice trailed off as he entered the foyer, piercing gaze zeroing in on her tear-stained face. What sense of jovial teasing transformed into enraged fury. When he spoke next, it came out in an animalistic growl that bespoke impending violence. "Who fucking hurt you?"
 "I'm fine." She mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself. Her chin rested on her chest, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I just want to go home."
 "Freydis….and I'm betting Margrethe also said something to her." Hvitserk snitched, leaning fully against the door. He watched both Kari and his brother as if ready to intervene at a moment's notice. 
 Ivar snapped, stepping closer. "What did they say?"
 She was unsure who he directed his question to but she still shook her head, refusing to look at either brother. Hearing his wrath, it only made her heart ache more. All of this was a show, it had to be. Why would he truly care? The sound of his heavy gait coming closer brought a fresh wave of silent tears. 
 Moving to her other side, he cupped her cheek. When she resisted looking at him, he shifted his hand to grab the back of her neck, forcing her gaze to meet his. A tempest swirled in his icy blue eyes. "What. Did. They. Say?"
 "Why does it matter?" She questioned, bottom lip trembling as a sob rose from her chest. 
 "Because they hurt you."
 "But I'm no one. I don't matter." She shook her head, pressing a hand over her mouth to contain the cries bound to escape at any moment. "You're just going to get back together with Freydis when you get bored with me."
 His eyes widened as if she had sucker-punched him. His mouth dropped open for a moment before he collected himself, the maelstrom rippling under his skin on the verge of breaking free. "Did they say that?"
 "Freydis said…. she said you two were just taking a break….and I'm the rebound girl."
 "Fuck. Fuck!" Ivar stepped away, running his hands through his loose hair. In an instant, he grabbed the decorative bowl off the entrance table and threw it. The shattering against the wall reverberated in the foyer followed by Ivar's guttural shout. "FUCK!" 
 "Ivar." Hvitserk softly said, warily watching his younger brother. 
 "I'm going to kill her. Fuck! I can't believe she would fucking say that!" Ivar ran his hands through his hair again, looking on the verge of ripping the strands out. The ferocity in his eyes was unmatched as he glanced down the hallway, clearly wanting to go after his ex, then shifted back to Kari, who remained silent and unmoving. "What else did she say?" He barked at her. 
 "You're destined for each other." She confessed after a moment's hesitation. 
 Ivar stormed over to her, devouring the ground beneath his feet as he invaded her space. Standing before her, he cupped her face, eyes imploring her to believe him. "Freydis is a crazy, jealous bitch. She manipulates to get what she wants. Don't believe a word out of her fucking mouth. Fuck! Please, Kari, don't cry. I'm right here, kitten."
 His words seeped into her mind, slipping in through the cracks and delving deep into her soul. His words alone should not have reassured her like they did. Between his pleading eyes and his gentle touch, her few walls surrounding her heart crumbled, unable to fight him. She believed him, even before her mind fully recognized it. 
 She lightly placed her hands on his bare chest, one directly over his heart, feeling the rapid tempo under her fingers. "Promise?" She whispered wetly. "You're not just…. I’m not just a rebound girl?"
 Ivar groaned, pressing his forehead to Kari's. "I swear. I never thought that about you." 
 And she believed him again. The truth falling from his lips resounded in the very core of her being. It made no sense how she knew, but somehow, she did. 
 After a long second, Hvitserk pushed off the door from next to them. "I'm going to head back and keep an eye on them. Kari, if you still want a ride just text me, alright?" 
 "Thank you, Hvitty." She reached out and snagged his hand, giving it a quick squeeze. With a smile, he responded in kind before heading down the hallway towards the backyard. 
 Soon as Hvitserk started walking away, Ivar grabbed her hand and led her in the opposite direction. They hurried through a short hallway to arrive at a closed door. Impatiently, Ivar thrust the door open and pulled her into a room, slamming the door shut behind them. She had a brief moment to scan the new room and notice the two walls with floor to ceiling bookshelves packed full and the couple couches near a large window. 
 Before she could do anything, she shrieked as she found herself suddenly yanked back, her body colliding with the closed door. Immediately Ivar's mouth claimed hers in a hungry, feverish kiss. His body pinned her to the door, hands kneading her hips. It was all she could do to just breathe. Her hands clung to his broad shoulders, desperate to stay above the waves of passion-fueled desire that surged unchecked within her. 
 Ivar withdrew his mouth from hers, but only to place kisses over her cheeks, washing away her tears with his affections. "Don't listen to her. Her and I. We are through. I will never go back to her. She has been sniffing around but that ends tonight. I won't fucking let her talk to you again. I fucking swear it."
 "Ivar…." She whined, tilting her head. An open invitation which he took. 
 He swooped in, continuing to speak between leaving open-mouth kisses on her neck. "It's you. It's you I want. It's you I think about all the time. Fuck, kitten, you have no idea how much I want you. And seeing you do those yoga poses in that swimsuit…. fuck! You looked so goddamn sexy; I got a hard-on just watching." He grabbed her thigh, lifting it up and curling it behind him, pressing himself against her core. At the touch of his hardened length against her, she whimpered. "Do you feel that? That's for you, søte Kari."
 She could not help but roll her hips, grinding against his erection, body automatically seeking friction. 
 "Yes! Fuck." He growled against her neck. "Come here."
 She whined when he released her leg, letting it fall down to the floor. Her breathing was unsteady already, heart hammering away in her chest. A part of her knew she should stop this, open the door behind her and walk out to avoid the temptation. Yet when his hand latched onto hers once again, tugging her towards one of the couches, she followed willingly, unable to deny the sweet sin that was Ivar.
 He dropped onto the couch and settled her into his lap to straddle him. As she settled, he grabbed a handful of the cover over her and yanked it off, tossing it haphazardly onto the floor. Her first instinct was to cover her chest, but as her arms moved to do that, Ivar guided them behind his head. His gaze drunk in the curves of her body, an unashamed starved look in his eyes that made her shudder as it further ignited the fire in her belly. 
 "Kattungen min." He whispered reverently. "Fucking hell, so gorgeous. No one else gets to touch you like I do. Got it? You're mine." He started lavishing her chest and neck with his mouth, alternating between his lips and tongue. 
 She knew she should feel more self-conscious straddling Ivar's lap in only the swimsuit that barely covered all of her assets; but it was as if his touch banished the thoughts away. Instead she felt beautiful and cherished. 
 He palmed one of her breasts and the moan that escaped her was pure wanton. Hands tangled in his long locks as her hips ground harder against his erection in response. His leg braces were only an afterthought that did not impede her actions. 
 "Ivar, please."
 "That's it. Fuck, you're so beautiful. I can't wait to fuck you senseless."
 Suddenly he shifted under her, his hand fumbling between them. Her mind barely took notice as he sucked the skin between her breasts, something that would definitely leave a mark. Next thing she knew, his cock was freed, standing at attention between them. 
 Before she could protest, he spoke up. "I know you're not ready." He slid it under her, pulling her hips back down. At the sensation of his cock rubbing her slit with only the thin barrier of the bikini bottom between them, she threw her head back with a whine. Desire roared through her like a freight train as his cock rubbed against her soaking core. 
 "You like that, kitten?"
 "Yes." She sighed out, head tilted back as she rolled her hips. 
 "Good, my turn." He reached behind her and promptly untied the straps of the bikini top behind her back. 
 "Ivar!" She tried to cover herself but he swatted her hands away. 
 "Trust me."
 Once she relented, he laid a hard kiss to her lips then tugged the top over her head, the band behind her neck without a tie. She desperately wanted to cover herself, now before him feeling on full display. But it was the look on his face that stilled her movements. 
 "Guder. Du er utsøkt. Faen. Den vakreste kvinnen." He murmured with adoration and awe dripping off each word. 
 "What did you say?"
 Instead of answering her, he lowered his face to her chest and captured one of her perky nipples in his mouth. His other hand moved to grab one of her ass cheeks, encouraging her to keep riding him. 
 All breath vanished from her lungs. All thoughts and insecurities fled under his touch. Her hands tangled in his hair, keeping his mouth on her. All she could feel was him. All she wanted to feel was him. Gasps and moans slipped from her as she allowed herself to be overtaken and drawn into an ocean of pleasure. 
 She could feel herself rising higher and higher, riding the wave. Her mind was becoming delirious from fire in her veins and the motion of her hips rocking over his exposed cock. 
 To her surprise, Ivar grabbed a handful of hair at the back of her neck. "That's it, beautiful. Fuck. Let's see what that bendy spine can do." Carefully, he pulled on her hair, not in a painful way but as if to guide her. Willingly submitting herself, she bent her back, following his lead. When her chest was parallel to the ceiling, he stopped pulling, keeping her suspended with her back arched. 
 Ivar groaned loudly, thrusting against her. She met his action, too absorbed in the bliss to care about decency. 
 "All the dirty, fucking things this makes me want to do to you." He licked a scalding line up her sternum, only to swirl his tongue around one of her nipples, making her mewl as she continued to move her hips faster. "Come for me."
 "Yes, yes." She chanted. "Ivar, please."
 "Keep begging, kitten. Let me know how much you want my cock."
 As her climax hit, the tightening coil in her core sprung loose, her mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Wave after wave rolled over her. She could feel Ivar grunt and thrust a few more times beneath her before retracing his cock and spurting onto her exposed stomach. After he released her hair, letting her rise back up to face him. Their eyes fixated on one another, chests heaving as they struggled for breath. 
 Gently, she reached out and touched his cheek, a shy smile on her face. Then, when he made no move to pull away, she leaned forward, uncaring of his cum slipping down her stomach, and drew him into a lazy, slow kiss. He responded, lips melding to hers in a way that was full of softness and contentment. After a moment, she felt him reach behind him for the blanket laying on the back of the couch and wipe her stomach off, all the while never abandoning their kiss. 
 Once she was clean, he dropped the blanket to the floor and somehow managed to keep their lips locked as he guided them to lay down on the couch, their bare chests pressed together and his arm under her head, legs tangled. 
 "Do you believe me now?" He eventually asked, leaning back but only far enough so the tips of their noses almost touched. 
 "Mmmm?"
 "That it's you I want. Freydis and anyone else can go fuck themselves for all I care."
 She bit her bottom lip and dropped her gaze. "I don't understand why."
 "What are you talking about?"
 "I mean…. Margrethe said I'm not your…. type."
 He snorted and muttered under his breath, "fucking bitch".
 "But she's right." Kari pressed onward, her hand running up and down his side as if to ground herself. "I mean, I could never compare to Freydis…. or Torvi or Gyda or any of them. They are all beautiful and….and in perfect shape. I'm not. My thighs and butt are too big and I'm maybe pretty but that's it."
 "You're right. You're not my usual type. But those girls, I'd fuck them and then never look their way again. You though, fuck, I can barely take my eyes off you when you're around. And these," he reached down and grabbed a handful of one of her ass cheeks, making her squeak. "I love them. And these thighs, fucking hell, kitten, I want you to suffocate me with them when I finally eat you out."
 She gasped, a bolt of electricity shooting through her at the image. 
 A devilish grin grew on his face, his hand stroking her ass cheek. "You like that idea? My tongue teasing your folds before slipping inside of you. Your thighs wrapped around my head as I feast on your pussy."
 "Ivar." She whined, unable to stop the sudden roll of her hips. 
 "Soon, sweet Kari." He chuckled darkly, ceasing her movement by melding their hips together. "And your tits, gods, they are perfect. I could stare at them all day."
 She giggled even as she flushed under his praise. "I'm sorry for doubting you. I guess, I'm still just surprised you'd…. well, that you want me."
 "You are mine. You're my woman." He stated resolutely, gazing directly into her eyes so she could see how serious he was. 
 "But we aren't dating…."
 "Doesn't fucking matter. You're mine. And one of these days you'll change your mind and stop playing this game of trying to keep me away."
 She sighed, wishing it would be that easy. Before he could continue with that argument, she changed the subject. "You know, I think we exceeded our kiss quota for the day."
 He snorted. "I didn't see you complaining earlier."
 "That's true. Do you think we should head back out?"
 "If I see Freydis or Margrethe right now…." His voice trailed off, but the fury from earlier lingered in the unspoken threat. 
 "I know. We don't have too. I'm okay right here." 
 A grateful smile on his lips, he kissed her quickly then rolled her onto her back and laid his head on her chest. They relaxed like that for several minutes in silence, her hand running through his hair, just enjoying the feeling of complacency and peace between them now after their fight. If you could even call it that. 
 Finally, she spoke up in a hushed tone, a random question coming to mind. "Do you ever get in the pool?"
 "No."
 "Oh." Was all she could say after his sharp, barbed answer. Clearly it was a subject that was not open for discussion. Her mind wandered, wondering what happened to cause such a response from him. An uncomfortable tension hung over them after his response. Something she was not sure if she should try and dissipate or ignore for now. 
 After a minute of continued silence, he kissed her chest, letting his lips linger there as if using the extra time to mentally prepare himself. Before she could tell him it was none of her business, he spoke. His tone was quiet and, in anyone else, almost shaky. 
 "I…. I used to try when I was younger. They'd put me on one of those stupid floating things and pull me around or someone would hold me. Then, when I was about seven…. Sigurd and I got in a big fight earlier that day. He claimed I broke one of his toys. Fucking asshole. I was sitting by the pool, this in our childhood home in Kattegat, I liked to watch things float on the water. Sigurd walked by me and….and pushed me over the edge."
 She gasped. "Oh Ivar…."
 "Ubbe jumped in and pulled my half-drown ass out." He nuzzled against her skin; his tone having lost the insecurity as he reassured her. "I'm alright, Kari."
 She drew his face up and gave him a long kiss, their mouth connecting with a deeper need and alleviation. "Remind me to thank Ubbe when I see him next."
 He rolled his eyes. "Don't. He's never let me forget the fact."
 "Still."
 They laid there for some more time, wrapped up in one another and content in the peaceful stillness. She could not help but think about the memory Ivar shared with her. How far back did that resentment go between the brothers? Had there ever been a time where they cared for one another? And how bad was the animosity between them if one was willing to kill the other, even as children? If her arms tightened around him, neither one mentioned it as they continued to lay there. 
 A loud knock on the door followed by a yell through the door of "are you two done yet?" disturbed their peace. 
 "Hvits, fuck off!" Ivar called back, burrowing his face between her breasts. 
 "Do you have clothes on at least?!"
 "I do!" 
 Kari swatted the back of Ivar's head at his admission. Leaning up slightly, he gave her a cheeky wink before laying his head back down. 
 "Well cover up, I'm coming in!" Hvitserk yelled through the door. 
 "Ivar, get up." Kari softly said, a panic setting in at the brother coming in and seeing them in this suggestive position and her topless. 
 "No." He mumbled. 
 Before she could shove him off, he snatched the throw blanket off the floor and threw it over his head to cover her chest. As she began to protest, the door cautiously opened. In an instant, she tried to spread out the blanket over them as best as she could, keeping the blanket over her chest and spread it somewhat over their torsos. Although how much good it did was questionable. She peered over to see Hvitserk standing in the doorway with an amused look before shaking his head and stepping in, closing the door behind him. 
 "What the fuck do you want?" Ivar asked, muffled by the blanket and his face still pressed against her skin. 
 Kari raised her gaze to the ceiling for a moment then mouthed to Hvitserk, "I'm sorry."
 Hvitserk winked at her before answering. "Bjorn and Torvi want everyone together before they leave. Sounds like they have an announcement or something."
 "Are the bitches still here?"
 "Yeah." Hvitserk sighed. 
 "Then no."
 "I'll go." Kari softly said. "It must be important."
 "No, you aren't." Ivar nipped at the side of her breast, making her squirm. 
 "Well everyone is waiting on you two." Hvitserk pointed out as he watched, clearly entertained if his broad grin said anything. 
 "I'm coming."
 Ivar pulled the blanket back slightly to stare up at her. "Why the fuck do you want to see them?"
 "Is it….is it terrible I want to show Frey…. her that I'm still here. That no matter what they said, that I'm not going anywhere."
 A positively, feral grin spread over his face. He swooped in and pressed a devastating kiss to her mouth, not letting up until she thought she would suffocate from the intensity of it. "Let's go." 
 He started to rise up but when she squeaked and tried to clutch the blanket to her, he froze. 
 "Hvits, leave."
 "You sure I can't stay?" His smirk grew as he caught Kari's eye and watched her flush deepen. 
 "GO!" Ivar bellowed, glaring at his older brother. 
 "Fine. I'll wait out here for you. If you're not out in three minutes, I'm coming back in." Hvitserk stepped outside and closed the door behind him. 
 Ivar carefully slid off of her, standing up beside the couch, the blanket in hand. His predatory, blue eyes remained trained on her form, raking over her body like a sweet he wanted to devour completely. A familiar warmth awakened in her core, even as she shyly glanced away, covering her naked breasts with her hands. 
 "Fuck, you're gorgeous. On second thought, I think we should stay. I need another taste of you and to hear you moaning my name for everyone to fucking hear."
 She squealed, quickly skirting away from him before he could pounce on her. "Ivar, no!" Yet, miraculously, he managed to snag an arm around her waist and drag her back against his chest. 
 "Should we make an announcement of our own?" He asked, running his nose along the shell of her ear, chuckling under his breath when she shivered against him.
 "What do you mean?"
 "That you're my girlfriend. That this just-friends is shit."
 "I…." She balked, eyes wide and heart beating a painful staccato in her chest. “We…. we can't."
 "Why the fuck not?" He grasped her breasts, rolling her peaked nipples between his fingers. 
 She practically swallowed her tongue, biting back the moan lodged in her throat. When she was positive she could control her voice, she replied. "We've talked about this. I'm just…. I’m not ready."
 "But you'll practically let me fuck you?"
 At his harsh snap, she tried to push out of his embrace, unwilling to have this conversation in their current predicament or maybe have the conversation at all. The innate desire to flee rose up in her but she tried to force it down as she squirmed in his arms. He held her firm, not giving up an inch, her body flush against his own. 
 "Ivar!" 
 "What aren't you telling me?" 
 She hated both herself and him in the moment as she ceased her escape attempts. She hated him for continuously pushing her, for ignoring her words and trying to force her where he wanted her to be. Even more though, she hated herself. If she had kept away from him, however unlikely that was, if she did not have to hide, then none of this would matter. If she could be honest, truly honest, he would most likely reject her. And that was why she hated herself most. Because she was selfish and wanted his attention and affection, even knowing if he knew who she truly was, he would walk away. 
 Carefully, she turned her head to meet his stormy eyes. "I promise one day I will. I just…. can we please just enjoy this? What we have? I just need…. time."
 He stared down at her for a long time. She wondered what he read in her face when he finally gave a resigned sigh. "Fine. I'm telling people you are my girlfriend though."
 "You're unbelievable."
 "I think you like that about me." He matched her smile with his own before letting her go.  
 She quickly found her bikini top, noticing Ivar not-so-subtly adjusting his sweatpants. She slipped it over her head but when she went to tie the straps, a pair of calloused hands covered hers. Without a word, he tied it behind her back. Once done, his hand slowly prowled down her back to lightly smack her ass. 
 "Hey!" She whipped around, only to see a Cheshire grin on his face. 
 "That's my sexy ass."
 "Oh my god. Unbelievable." She muttered to herself as she snatched up the cover and pulled it over. She looked down at the blanket piled on the floor. 
 "Leave it. I'll deal with it later." He took her hand and walked with her towards the door. When they opened it, a still-shirtless Hvitserk stood leaning against the wall across from them. 
 "Took you two long enough. Damn. Almost came in and threw Kari over my shoulder to get you out." 
 Ivar spat something out in their language that made Hvitserk roll his eyes. Before they could move further down the hallway, Hvitserk reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, freezing her in place.  
 "Hey, whatever they said. Just try to ignore it. We all want you here. Hell, all of us would kick them to the damn curb if Ubbe would let us. But Ubbe and Bjorn have already approved of you."
 Ivar scoffed but Hvitserk kept his gaze on hers, letting her know he was serious. 
 "Just know, we're on your side."
 "Thank you, Hvitty." She squeezed his hand, warmth blooming in her chest at his words.  
 "Either one of them tries to talk to her, I'll strangle them." Ivar growled, starting down the hallway, towing Kari behind him. 
 "You can't kill them, Ivar. Mother said murder is wrong."
 Ivar laughed, looking over his shoulder at his brother. "Mother still loves me."
 "Yeah, yeah, we all know you're her favorite."
 "Can you blame her? Look at me. I'm far superior and more interesting than the rest of you."
 "Keep telling yourself that."
 Kari could not help but smile at their teasing, a mock argument that sounded like it had been executed many times before until now it was said out of fondness and mock sibling rivalry. 
 The three walked back outside through the glassed-in porch. On the way, she noticed her purse back next to Gyda's bag and wondered if Hvitserk moved it there for her. Outside, everyone else sat on chairs or lounge chairs that were grouped in a haphazard circle, obviously waiting for the remainder of the group to join.  
 "What took you so long? Thought we'd have to send a search party to find you." Bjorn called out as the three approached. 
 "I got 'em. The library reeks of sex though." Hvitserk said, dodging Kari's swing. 
 Ivar guided her back to the lounge chair they had been sitting in earlier, tucking her into his side with a hand laying possessively on her hip. Hvitserk sat on her other side instead of pulling a new chair over. She tried to ignore Margrethe and Freydis who sat across from them, keeping her eyes trained on her lap, fiddling with the hem of her cover.  
 "Ok, now that we're finally all here." Bjorn said, standing up with Asa in his arms. "We just wanted to tell our family the good news in person."
 "Torvi is pregnant!" Gyda blurted, staring at her sister-in-law in shock. 
 "Fuck! Gyda!" Bjorn groaned. 
 "Daddy said a bad word." Hali looked over at his mother from his spot next to Sigurd. 
 "Yes, he did, thank you, Hali." Torvi replied smiling then addressed the group. "I'm about two months along. So right now, we are only telling family, so please don't share this with anyone else yet."
 "Wow! A third! Congrats!" Ubbe started, others immediately echoing their own congratulations and well-wishes. 
 Kari jumped up and moved to give Torvi a hug after Gyda. "I know we haven't known each other long but I'm so excited for you. You're an amazing mother."
 "Thank you, Kari. Maybe your own time will come soon." She shooting her eyes over to Ivar for a second then meeting Kari's again. 
 "Oh, I don't know." She blushed at the thought. After another brief hug, Kari returned to her seat. 
 "How old are you?" Hvitserk asked suddenly. 
 "Um, I turned twenty-five this summer."
 "Ha! Still the baby of the group." Sigurd laughed, pointing his beer bottle at Ivar.  
 "Hey, nothing is wrong with an older woman. We're in our sexual prime." Gyda defended. 
 "She's not that much older." Ivar retorted, his hand skimming up and down Kari's thigh. "Just a year."
 "And a few months. You're turning twenty-four after the new year." Ubbe helpfully added with a grin. 
 "Fuck off." 
 "Mommy, Uncle Ivar said a bad word now."
 "Yes, he did, Hali. I think it's time for us to go. Say goodbye to everyone." Torvi said. After a round of goodbyes and hugs to all the uncles and aunt, the small family headed back through the house to head to their own home.
 "Did you know Ivar is younger than you?" Hvitserk asked conspiringly, once conversation started around them again. 
 She tilted her head as she looked at him, slowly answering his question. “Yeah…. we talked about this a while ago."
 "Good. Do you want kids?"
 "Hvits, what is this?" Ivar butted in. 
 "Just testing the waters to see how she feels about having my babies. You know they'd be beautiful." Hvitserk chuckled when Ivar glared at him. 
 "Be nice you two or I'm moving." Kari chided. 
 "Yes, mom." Hvitserk said, sneaking a kiss to her cheek before jumping away. He turned around and pointed at her as he walked backwards. "One day you'll have my babies!" 
 She laughed, shaking her head. She could practically feel the smoke coming from Ivar's ears. Before he could burst a vein, she leaned closer to him and laid her head against his shoulder. "He knows I'm yours."
 "He fucking better or I'll beat his ass to remind him." Ivar murmured, nuzzling her temple. 
 She relaxed against him, looking around the backyard. Hvitserk and Ubbe had started some kind of wrestling competition in the pool, both looking like they were trying to drown each other. Gyda and Ivar called insults from their seats. Sigurd was texting on his phone but occasionally looking up and making a comment. At one point he caught her eye and gave her a brief nod, which she smiled back, hoping any animosity between the two of them from her earlier comment was gone. She purposefully ignored the whispering between Margrethe and Freydis, taking a note from Ivar's book and acting as if they did not exist. 
 Looking at the Lothbrok family around her, she smiled at the group, still amazed she found herself in their midst and how welcoming most of them were. For almost two years she had been alone in a new country, thinking that was what she wanted. Now though, she wondered if she had just been missing a group that accepted her without question. 
 She peered up at Ivar, heart swelling with gratitude and affection. Without second guessing herself, she kissed his cheek and leaned back against his shoulder. He hummed, placing his own kiss to the top of her head. 
 She wondered if she should just give up fighting this, whatever this was between them. Maybe it would work out. Maybe everything would not fall apart as soon as the truth fell from her lips. Maybe he could accept her past and who she was. 
 Silently, she shook the thoughts away. It was still too soon to tell and if she was honest, she did not want to lose this. 
 Or lose him. 
109 notes · View notes
inskz · 4 years ago
Text
lucky charm - lee minho
pairing - lee minho x reader
genre - college!au, best friends to lovers, very cliche fluff (lucky girl starring lindsey lohan kinda vibes???)
words - 4k
note - this is just a cute little drabble i wrote while im still waiting for my covid test results to come back so that i can leave my room and see the sun again 🤪 pls be careful everybody take care of your health 💚 enjoy!!!
- - - - -
“You must be kidding me,” you sigh when you see Minho’s hand has turned into a fist, his rock crushing miserably your scissors. Once again, you lost at rock, paper, scissors. And once again, you’re the one that is going to wash your best friend’s dishes that have piled up in is tiny kitchen sink throughout the week.
“Fuck that. This is so unfair,” you grumble, throwing the dishtowel in Minho’s stupid yet perfectly chiseled face.
You make a beeline for his bed, which is actually only a few steps away from the kitchen. Being a broke college student definitely doesn’t allow him to rent a spacious studio, let alone a two-room apartment. You throw yourself headfirst onto his uncomfortable mattress, whose springs always poke your back at night.
“Life is so unfair,” your friend mocks you, dragging out every vowel of his sentence dramatically.
No doubt, you would be strangling him at that very moment if you weren’t so busy playing dead, hoping he would forget about your pitiful existence.
But there is no way mister Lee Minho would miss out on an opportunity to have his gross plates cleaned by someone else. Grabbing onto your ankle, he drags you out of bed until you plop down on the dirty carpeted floor (Minho has the unfortunate tendency to procrastinate vacuuming too). At this point, you are fake crying, throwing a literal tantrum, like a 6 years old child would.
“Life is unfair!” you yell, your feet kicking in the air in pure anger.
At least it is to you. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been lucky. The only instance you got remotely close to it was when you found a four-leaf clover last summer. Well, only if you disregard the fact you stepped into dog poop  on your way to picking it. Oh and that you were wearing brand new white Converse. 
On the other hand, it seems like the boy has the whole crew of the Olympus gods on his side. Not one day goes by without his guardian angel manifesting its presence. 
Minho has always been the lucky type. The type to get an extra nugget in his box of 10. To find 20 dollars bills on the ground. To win every single Instagram giveaway he participates to (and lord knows how much he likes participating to them). 
But how can you be mad at him when he always happily shares his food with you, invites you to the restaurant without you even asking, and gives you his prizes, pretending he doesn’t need them? You don’t believe him when he says he see no use in a panda onesie or a waterproof bluetooth speaker. Deep down, you know it’s his way to silently love you. 
But well, you can still blame him for occasionally taking advantage of your misfortune to make you do his dreaded house chores, just like right now. 
Everyone thinks you are a bizarre duo. Even you can’t fathom how in hell you two became best friends, considering how awfully your first encounter went three years ago. 
On orientation day, he asked you for the time, probably because his phone was dead (or maybe because he was dying to talk to you?)
Without hesitation, you lifted and rotated your wrist so that you could see your watch. Little did you remember; you never actually owned a watch and you were holding a fancy 7 dollars iced coffee, which, of course, did not have a lid on because plastic is bad for the environment (duh). 
Minho couldn’t help but burst out in hysterical laughter when the whole drink spilled on your jeans. For your defense, you didn’t sleep at all the night before  since you were terrified of being alone in your new dorm room the first few days (weird stuff happens all the time in dorms, okay?). If he had asked you for your name, you probably wouldn’t even have been able to tell him. 
But Minho thought you were the funniest person on campus, and he really needed a clown like you to entertain him throughout his endless college semesters. That’s what he told you anyways. Not that he thought you were the cutest human being he had ever seen. 
Why would he when you are the literal definition of a mess: always having toothpaste stains on your sweater, bags under your eyes, messy hair, tripping and falling, missing buses, breaking things, losing stuff. 
Most of the time, you just forget your keys and Minho lets you crash at his place since he hasn’t got any roommate and he isn’t used to sleeping alone, especially without his cats. It surely isn’t because he loves waking up next to a very groggy but adorable you every single morning, no.  
Minho manages to bring you back to the countertop despite your reluctance. Positioned behind you, his arms trapping your body to make sure you can’t run away from your duties, he dips your hands into the soapy water, and you can’t help but squirm at the touch of an unknown substance sticking to a plate that has probably been soaking here for a week. You despise doing the dishes and your friend knows it.
You hear him giggle in your ear while he is playing with your arms like you are some type of marionette, making you to take the sponge and squeeze dish soap onto it. 
You’ve never been the kind to like proximity nor seemed to be Minho, but for some reason, you always end up glued to each other. You hate public displays of attention and pet names a little less when it comes from him. Or maybe you don’t hate it at all and actually crave it every single minute that goes by.
Before he has the time to come up with the Machiavellian idea to soak your pajamas in dirty water (because you know he would inevitably have at some point), you yank his hands off of you and start scrubbing angrily the dirty cups. 
Minho stays behind you anyways, observing your every move, his chin propped up on your shoulder like a curious little bird. To be honest, his presence is kind of getting overwhelming. But whatever, it’s not like his slightest touch makes your heart warm up in comfort or that he smells like fresh linen drying out on the porch of a cottage house on a sunny Sunday morning or anything. 
“You missed a spot. Here” he murmurs teasingly, his lips almost touching your earlobe, while he points at the handle of his hideous ‘world’s greatest dad’ mug Jisung gifted him last christmas. 
You know he has noticed the way you shivered violently at the feeling of his breath tickling your skin because he starts snickering loudly. 
“I swear to god if you don’t shut up and go seat on the couch, I’ll slap you so hard with this spatula you’ll regret you were even born,” you say, turning around suddenly to menace him with the plastic utensil. 
Of course, he isn’t afraid one bit. Right now, you really wish you could make the smug, but oh so attractive, look on his face disappear. 
“Alright, ma’am” he laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’ll let you do your thing”. He lets himself fall onto his dingy couch. 
You can hear him humming one of his favorite songs above the sound of the water running. It would probably be getting on your nerves if his voice wasn’t so pretty.  
“Chan’s sick, so we’re not going to the gym tomorrow night. Do you wanna eat tacos? El Huero has even better deals than usual” he asks you, scrolling mindlessly through his phone. 
“Aren’t the deals supposed to be on Tuesdays?” You frown and scrub a little harder the frying pan Minho has burnt the night before while trying to make chocolate chips pancakes for diner, because why eat savory food when you can have dessert for every meal, right? It is one of the few advantages of living without your parents you both truly enjoy. 
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Tomorrow,” he yawns, probably exhausted after what you put him through last night. You forced him to catch up on the entire season of Love Island because you desperately needed someone to bitch with, and what better partner than Lee Minho.  
You take a quick glance at him and see him stretching himself across the cushions like a cat. You always thought there was something feline about his features. While you’re drying the mugs with the dishtowel, your mind wanders uncontrollably, thinking about his piercing eyes, his delicate nose, the corners of his lips that curl up a little… 
All of the sudden, your hands freeze. Minho is too immersed in TikToks to notice the stupor on your face. “Wait. Today is… Monday?” you stutter. 
Alarmed by the sound of your voice, his eyes finally leave his phone’s screen to look up at you. “Yeah” he repeats slowly as if you are the dumbest person he has ever encountered. 
And you truly are. You are pretty sure your heart has stopped beating. Minho’s “world’s greatest dad” mug you’re holding slips between your fingers and comes crashing on the floor with a deafening sound. The pieces are now scattered all around you, making you unable to make out what’s written on it anymore. Not a big loss, if you ask. 
“Y/N, you know that’s my favorite mug!” he exclaims, leaping up from the couch. “I’m sure you did it on purpose,” he mutters while he’s trying to collect the small fragments, in vain. 
But you’re too shocked at this very moment to pay attention to the glare your friend is giving you. To be honest, Minho has only two moods: glaring at you or teasing you.  
“My interview,” you finally manage to say, and Minho’s eyes go wide as he realizes the critical situation you’re in. 
You check the time on the microwave: 10:45. In 30 minutes, you’re supposed to be on the other side of town, being interrogated by boring businessmen that are going to decide whether or not you’ll be accepted for a paid internship in one of the most reputable music label of the country. Basically, decide whether you’ll live a happy and fulfilling life, working in the sector you’ve always dreamed of or end up miserable with a boring office job and a massive college debt. 
“Holy shit,” Minho whispers. You can see a wave of panic washing across his face for a split second, but, as always, he manages to find his composure back immediately. 
He has never been the kind to lose his cool, except to scold you when you forget the names of his cats and their respective coats’ color (which you unfortunately often did forget). 
“What are you doing? Get dressed!” He tells you when he sees you’re still standing there dumbfounded in the kitchen, like the famous Robert Pattinson meme, wearing an oversize Kermit the frog shirt with a dozen holes in it and his favorite Adidas sweatpants you always stole from him.
“No, it’s too late. I can’t make it,” you mutter, your breath short. You’re paralyzed, as if there is a 20lbs rock sitting at the bottom of your stomach, pinning you to the ground. 
This isn’t bad luck, you think. This is karma. This is what you get for skipping classes to watch telereality shows in your bed with your best friend and not even realizing it isn’t the weekend anymore.
“Miss me with that bullshit.” He runs to his closet and rummages through his drawers, throwing every piece of clothing that’s on his way to find an appropriate outfit that would fit you. 
“You’re gonna go do this interview even if I have to drag you all the way there.” He pushes you into his bathroom since you still haven’t moved an inch. 
You manage to brush your teeth and your hair, fighting through the nauseous feeling that is building up in your tummy. 
When you come back to the living room, Minho has found dress pants and a sweater that might not look utterly ridiculous on you. He lets you change in a corner, while he runs around the room collecting all your essentials. 
“You’re coming?” you ask him when you see he is already wearing his puffer jacket.  
“You really think I’m gonna let you go all by yourself when you’re literally not even able to put your shoes on properly”. You are, indeed, struggling with your laces, as if your fingers are suddenly made out of butter. 
Minho ties them up for you and you literally feel like he’s your babysitter. You know you’re gonna hear about this for months – what are you saying- years! But all you can think about at the moment though, is the fact that sneakers are definitely not appropriate for an interview. 
He throws your warmest coat at you, grab his keys, and by some type of miracle, you’re both out to the door in less than 10 minutes. 
You try to call the elevator, but Minho grabs your arm and leads you to the staircase. His hand never leaving yours, he runs down the stairs and you have no choice but to follow him as fast as you can. 
You can’t count how many times you missed a step and fell at this particularly slippery spot, between the 5th and the 4th floor, but weirdly enough, it doesn’t happen today. 
When you finally reach the ground floor, you exit the complex and Minho hops on his old and rusty bike that he had attached to nearest tree the night before.
“There’s no way I’m riding behind you on this death machine,” you laugh nervously. The memory of that one time Minho convinced you to seat into his bicycle basket (as if you could even realistically fit in it) and you both fell seconds after he started to pedal is coming back to your mind.
Sure, it was after a long night of drinking, you were both tipsy and it was the only way to get you home since you had spent all your uber money at the bar, but still! You’re pretty sure the bruise on your butt hasn’t disappeared to this day.  
“Hurry up,” Minho groans, ignoring your complaint. You unwillingly seat on his flimsy pannier rack and wrap your arms around his torso. 
You haven’t even left, yet you’re already holding onto his puffer jacket for dear life. A giggle escapes your friend’s mouth (which you think is very inappropriate in such a desperate situation) before he lifts his feet off the ground and starts pedaling. 
You try to ignore the loud squeaking of the bicycle drive by shutting your eyes tighter and rehearsing your introduction you have prepared over and over in your head. No matter how hard you are trying, you can’t remember what you are supposed to say just after your age (which, as you can imagine, isn’t really far into your monologue). 
By the way the wind is lashing your face, you can tell Minho has picked up the speed. His breathing is getting louder, his heartbeat faster and you can’t help but think you’re probably way too heavy for him to bike you around like that. Maybe he shouldn’t skip his gym sessions with Chan so often. Or maybe you shouldn’t have eaten the leftover pancakes for breakfast after all.
You find the courage to open your eyelids and are pleased to see you’re already halfway there, probably because every single one of the traffic lights you encounter is green, and your friend is going surprisingly fast. Is luck finally starting to smile upon you? 
Your mad race comes to a halt when you reach the address of your interview. You hop off the bike and so does Minho who, by the way, is a panting mess. He’s barely able to catch his breath, strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, but he’s beaming at you when he realizes you’re just on time. 
“Go” he gasps, pushing you in the direction of the building’s hall. 
You walk up to the glass door but as your hands are about to push it, you pull a 180. Your friend sighs loudly, already knowing what’s coming next. 
“Wait. No. I can’t do this. I’m not prepared” you tell him frantically. “I’m freaking out. I think I’m gonna pass out.” You are now walking in circles, mumbling incoherently. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 
Your heart is racing in your chest and your hands are getting clammy at the simple thought of failure. But guess what? You can’t fail if you don’t even try! One more good reason to just go back to bed and forget about your sad life for a good 8 hours, right? 
“Y/N, you’re the most talented person I know, you’re gonna do just fine” Minho catches you in his arm to stop your endless pacing. You would probably think this gesture is endearing if it wasn’t just meant to make sure you couldn’t run for your life.  
“No, I’m not. What if I throw up in front of everybody like that one time during the Romeo and Juliet musical?” You look up at him and his face is only inches away from yours. You’re sure you would be swooning at how beautiful he looks if you weren’t so terrified at this very moment.
“You were nine,” your best friend says, and you swear you have never heard him speak to you in such a sweet tone before. His voice is like honey and lavander but it doesn’t soothe you like it should. 
You manage to break free from his embrace to crouch down, in an attempt to slow down your breathing. If only you had data left, you could be watching those short relaxing videos on your phone. They always work. But no, you had to spent it all on online games, just one week into the month. You really are beyond help.  
“Y/N I know you’re scared, but if you miss out on this opportunity, you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life.” Minho is lowering himself so that you can hear him, even though you’re curled up in a ball. 
“And I’m warning you, I won’t want to hear you complain about it,” he adds, this whole situation obviously starting to get on his nerves. 
If you were him, you would have probably left a long time ago. But this isn’t your best friend’s way of behaving. You know he would never abandon you no matter how annoying you could be (and you could be very annoying sometimes). After all, he is always the one holding your hair while you puke in the toilets when you had a couple too many drinks.
It takes all your willpower to stand up but there is no other way, you have to do it. You can hear the time ticking dangerously in your mind, as if your brain had turned into a clock.
“You’re right. Slap me,” you say, looking at him straight in the eyes, dead serious. 
“Wha -“
“Slap some sense into me. They do that in movies when people are panicking. It’s like throwing a bucket of cold water in someone’s face. But clearly we don’t have a bucket and we don’t have cold wa- “ you start blabbering. 
“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not gonna slap you!” Your friend isn’t usually that horrified at the thought of beating your ass. In fact, he has felt the desire to rip your head off more than once, especially when you’d steal all the duvet at night, but at this moment he is just scared you might have actually lost your mind.  
“Just fucking do it Minho!” you scream, your hands clenching the front of his grey hoodie he always looks so divine in. 
Minho has never obeyed you, and this is not the day he is going to start. 
He puts both of his hands on the sides of your face and crashes his lips onto yours. 
You would be lying if you said you have never imagined the day your best friend would kiss you. It happens pretty much every single time you look at his cute pout a little too long. But one thing is certain, it isn’t like you pictured it to be at all.
You were convinced your heart would go so wild it would burst out of your chest and your head would spin so furiously you’d lose your balance. You thought your stomach would fill with butterflies to the brim and your whole body would be on fire.
But none of that is happening. On the contrary, every single muscle in your body relaxes under his touch. The way his soft mouth presses gently against yours makes you calmer, almost at peace amongst all this turmoil. 
Minho is kissing all your tension and stress away and you catch yourself letting a sigh of relief escape your parted lips.
As if you have kissed him already hundreds of times in your past life, Minho feels like home. He’s a safe haven you can always take refuge in during troubled times. Ever since the day you met, he has never left your side.
When he breaks away from the kiss, you notice your breath isn’t so ragged and your mind isn’t so foggy anymore. You’re serene. His cold hands are still cupping your face, slightly squishing your cheeks, and you feel like an idiot sandwich for asking him to slap you seconds before.
“That can work too, I guess…” you mutter.  
“You’re okay?” he asks, staring at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.
You just nod, unable to say one more word, and sprint to the entrance, not wanting to make your interviewers wait any longer than they already have.
“Good luck!” You hear him yell just before the door closes behind you and you can’t help but grin from ear to ear.
- - - - - 
Thirty minutes later, you finally step out of the fancy lobby to find a very bored Minho leaning against a tree, patiently waiting for you.
“You’re still here?”
“Of course, I am,” he says, his mouth full of croissant. He gives you a large iced coffee he probably went buying to kill time. Your lips unconsciously curl up into a smile when you notice it comes from the same chain that the one you spilled on your lap on the day you first met him. 
“How did it go?” he asks you, sticking his buttery pastry into your mouth so that you can take a bite.
“Way better than I thought” you answer, right after you swallowed. You hate the way flakes would always get stuck between your teeth. But Minho is always there to warn you about it before anyone else notices, and even pick them for you if you can’t manage to, which, when you think about it, is kind of gross. 
There are two things the boy knows about you: you’re the greatest pessimist on earth and you’d rather die than admit you were wrong (especially if it meant he was right). So for you to even say it wasn’t that bad, means it went phenomenal. 
“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ but I told you so.” He smiles so wide you can barely see his eyes anymore. You have to look away, otherwise you know you might become instantly blinded by love.
“Maybe I could use some more of your luck” you mumble, staring at your shoes and kicking the red leaves that were surrounding your feet on this sunny autumn morning. 
“Really? And what makes you think I’ll share it with you,” he teases you, leaning forward to incite you to look at him in the eyes. 
“That.”
Your hand finds the back of his neck and pulls him in, in order to close the space that is still left between your mouths.
At first, Minho stiffens, taken aback by your bold move. But soon enough, he caves into your touch. He kisses you back fervently, like he means it. 
His fingers entagle in your hair, his arm wraps around your waist and his chest presses against your body. You’re melting in his embrace, submerged by a wave of bliss which he alone seems to know the recipe. 
It feels new, yet so familiar. Like it was supposed to happen, like it was written in the stars. 
He tastes like croissant and Americano. Like fortune and fate. 
And you can’t help but think you’re the luckiest person on earth.
Who cares about winning the lottery when Lee Minho is your lucky charm? 
470 notes · View notes
penaltbox · 3 years ago
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j!!! omg. the party was a good time! we walked to my roommates friends house first bc she lives close by. she told me i looked great. so i had a confidence boost. and i said thanks and thanked her for inviting us. and she said “yeah i was told to bring some people and thought of you two. and dylan (thigh tat guy) said i should bring you two so that was perfect” and in my head i was like oh 👀 interesting. and anyway then we went to his house. and said hi to dylan who gave me a hug and his roommates. we talked for a bit and then we went to get drinks. and then we went to dance and whatever. and out of the corner of my eye i saw dylan talking to some girl. not that i was jealous i just didnt know what to expect from him yk. but then some guy started dancing with us. he leaned down to tell me i looked very nice and i said thanks. but he kind of had a weird vibe. and tried to offer me his cup that was totally full when i said i needed a new drink. i declined ofc. but when my friends and i tried to go somewhere else he followed us. so i found dylan and told him this guy was being sketch so he pretended like he needed us for something and took us to another room. and thankfully when we went back we didnt see that guy again.
but after we mentioned how that was kind of creepy, dylan made sure he stayed with us. and eventually i wanted to go outside for some air even though it was so cold out lol. but he went with me and my friends stayed with his roommates bc they didnt want to go out in the cold lol. i was sitting on the edge of their porch and he said “it’s good seeing you again” which made me smile 🙈 and i said “good seeing you too”. and he told me i looked beautiful. i blushed and tried to hide my face. but he got closer and moved my hair out of my face. and he goes “i still think about that one night with you” and then i leaned on his shoulder so he couldn’t see how red i was getting. and i mumbled that i did too. and idk what was gonna happen out there. but then there was a gust of wind and i shivered and he said we should go back inside so i wasnt cold.
so we went back inside and went back to our little group. eventually my friends wanted to leave to go to some other thing with people they knew but i didnt so i didnt want to go. and dylan told them he’d take me home later and they could go to their thing if we wanted. so they left. and it was me and the guys lol. but their party didnt last too much longer. and his roommates were like thank you for coming we’ve all gotta hang out soon. and i was like yeah ofc you guys are fun thanks for the invite. and they told dylan to made sure i got home safe and sound in one piece lol. so he drove me home. and we maybe made out in his car. but then he walked me to the door, told me to have a good night, and kissed me again. and i told him to let me know when he got home and he smirked and was like “is that you asking me to text you?” and i said “its just to make sure you make it home alive” and he stopped looking so smug and was like “i will” and he did. and now we have been texting all day 🙈
my jaw is on the floor ohhhh my gooooood! he-- you guys-- oh man. you HAVE to go see him again soon somehow! he followed you onto the porch?? after protecting you all night?? i am just screaming right now. and he still thinks about that night??? is he trying to kill us all? oh my gosh and he took you home and you kissed again. please please tell me you're still texting!!
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unstoppableforcce · 4 years ago
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a long december
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pairing: Santiago “Pope” Garcia x f!reader
masterlist
a/n: so she’s long, about 9.5k and I know that’s a lot but i really love it, i put a lot of heart into it and i don’t know, maybe i made it just for me but i really love it. WARNING of weed use, i’ll tag it but quite a few joints are smoked
also, the song is a long december by the counting crows !! enjoy, i really tried to get the vibe right so maybe listen while/before/ or after reading
I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving
The cold made everything worse. 
With the haunting blood orange sun dropping just below the back treeline of his yard, he inhaled a deep breath of smoke from the burning embers of the small joint between his fingers, desperate to take his mind off the lingering pain of a day’s work which settled in his knees, back and neck. That didn’t even include the seismic rift running deep through his hollow chest. 
The winter evening chill shifted from refreshingly brisk to painfully freezing in a matter of minutes as the sun disappeared but he held steadfast on the window seat in his bedroom, blowing his smoke out as the cold made its way in. 
A blanket would make it better, turning the heat on, closing the window… he was too stubborn to bring himself to do any of it. The cold hurt but the alternative was worse. 
He’d gone numb before. 
After a string of bad missions, he couldn’t come home with the boys, he had to go somewhere else, somewhere where no one could see the way the shit piled onto his shoulders and weighed him down until it crushed him into cold and dark oblivion. There were drinks, empty bottles and spilled liquor… There was more too, more he either couldn’t remember or more he couldn’t fathom remembering. All he knew for sure was that he didn’t feel anything and that he hated it. 
At least feeling the pain of his lingering injuries and the heartbreak tearing through him meant he was feeling something. All he wanted was to feel something. 
Inhaling the next deep hit from the joint and exhaling it out the window, he found himself desperate for warmth, warmth that not even the burning bud between his fingers could provide him. He needed a blanket, he needed the heat turned on, he needed a body next to him in bed, wrapped around his body… That just wasn’t an option anymore. 
You were gone. You had been gone for about four months now and it had been no one’s fault, but he was going to bed alone nowadays and the cold was becoming nothing but a familiar friend. 
Fuck. He smashed the butt of his joint into the ashtray by his side and stood up as fast as his crying joints would allow, shutting the window and abandoning his empty bedroom entirely. The weed was for the physical pain, but his hollow heart needed something more. He needed liquor, he needed a blanket, he needed to turn the heat on and warm himself back up. 
He couldn’t remember the last time he did a load of blankets though, his best bet was finding some in the laundry room but with each creaking step down the stairs, the pain got worse, doubling both in his weakened knees and in his chest as he walked down each dark, hardwood step. His laundry room was adjacent to his garage, one of the coldest rooms in his house, and as he shouldered open the door, he found it as much a mess as the rest of his house, spare the stack of neatly folded blankets atop the dryer. 
It must have been the last load you did before you moved out. 
Fuck…
It just hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. 
Taking two steps into the room, he grabbed the first blanket off the stack and moved to make a hasty exit only to turn back at the sound of the stack hitting the floor in front of the machines. It wasn’t just blankets in the stack, there was a pair of his jeans beneath it, and a sweater. 
Your favorite sweater. 
The fabric of the sweater felt all too familiar against the cracked palms of his rough and calloused hands, the cream color of it appearing bright even under the yellow-tinted light coating the small laundry room. And the smell of it… it wasn’t just the fresh smell of his detergent, it was you. 
The warmth it cascaded him with while his weak hands gripped tight to the thick stitching was not unlike the warmth he remembered you always filling him with. When you grabbed his hand and swung it between the two of you while you walked, smile shining brightly towards him whether it was just to your car or out for a date night. When you trailed kisses down from his chin to his hips, paying special attention to each of his jagged scars while your lashes fluttered against his skin. When you rolled over in bed, still half-asleep, and buried your head deeper into his chest, unconscious but desperate to touch him still.
He held it tight in his grasp, the blanket he had come searching for now the furthest thing from his mind. 
It was one of your favorite sweaters, perfect for when the weather got cold like this, perfect for when you wanted to sit with him next to the open window while he smoked, or out on the porch while he worked on the yard, perfect for nights out and nights in… It was your perfect sweater and you had left it behind, folded into his blankets. 
Given that it had been July when you left, he couldn’t exactly blame you for not remembering you left it with him, but it was nearing December and you must have needed it, you must have realized that you left it when you moved out, you must have--
You weren’t his to worry about anymore. 
Even with the warm fabric gripped so tightly by his weak hands, he had to remind himself that you weren’t his to worry about anymore. It had been four months. 
Nearly five actually, now that he really thought about it. Honestly, he had been trying not to really think about it, it never did him any good to get into it but now it was all that filled his mind even as the gentle lull of the weed began to calm him down. 
His head filled with the thought of you, not in your happiest moment by his side, but in your saddest. The day you left… 
He managed to pull one hand back from the sweater to rub his eyes as it all began flooding his senses, overwhelming his defenses. He could see the tears in your eyes as you held his hands and told him that the two of you could still be friends, he could feel his throat constricting as he agreed with you and stopped himself from wiping your tears away. 
It hadn’t been anyone’s fault. 
The guys didn’t believe him at first when he explained it like that, but there was no other way to describe it. No one cheated, no one broke the other’s heart, no one did something reprehensible or immoral or… there was no singular reason at all, actually. It had been piling up for the second half of the year the two of you spent living together and piece by piece, it just became too much. He didn’t blame you, you didn’t blame him, and the two of you steadfastly remained resolved in not allowing the other to blame themselves. 
He loved you. He hadn’t stopped when you left and holding your sweater now, after months of denial, only made it worse. 
He still took it with him though, as he threw his blanket over his shoulders and walked back out into the slowly warming atmosphere of his house. He didn’t know what to do with it, but he knew he couldn’t just leave it, he needed to get it back to you. He could pass it to Benny, get it to you without breaking his heart in seeing you again, it was only fair. 
Leaving it on his kitchen counter, he quickly moved for his liquor cabinet, filling up the empty hole you left behind with smooth amber without a second thought. 
He needed the cold to go away, he needed the warmth he hadn’t felt since you left, he needed--
The vibration of his phone on the counter next to your sweater stopped his thoughts before they landed him some place that was all too dangerous for him to end up in. It was a message, from Frankie. 
Then another. And another, a trio in quick succession. 
Are you coming tomorrow night? Will wants a headcount.
Are you alive Pope?
We haven’t seen you in a while man, it’ll be good to get out of the house
Tomorrow night. Benny’s birthday party. Right. 
He needed a response. Or at least, he needed to start thinking about a response. 
Frankie was right, it had been a while since he had gone out with them. After the breakup initially, the guys had tried to get him out as often as possible, saying ‘it’ll be good to get your mind off of things’ and ‘you’ve got to get back on the horse’. Santiago didn’t have the breath to argue with them, nor the capacity to truly explain what he was feeling, so he just went along with them. Besides, was there really a good way to say ‘hey, I don’t think it’s fair to date other people when I’m still not over the woman I planned to marry’?
But it was Benny’s birthday. There was no avoiding that. And if he was lucky, there would be too much party going on for anyone to realize he wasn’t having a good time. 
So as he threw his blanket over his shoulders and collapsed back against the couch with his glass in hand, he sent a quick text back to Frankie before he could send ten more. 
Yeah, I’ll be there
Frankie very quickly responded, as if he had been waiting by the phone for Pope’s response. 
Free beer too
Free beer, a Benny-centric party, and this big fucking hole in his chest. What could go wrong?
If you think that I should be forgiven, I wish you would
Elite tactical mind. 
That’s what his commander described him as. An elite tactical mind. 
Well how elite is his fucking mind if he didn’t figure out that you were going to be at Benny’s birthday party? Not very elite. 
You had been Benny’s friend first, Santiago had only met you when Will introduced the two of you at one of his fights, he had asked you out during Benny’s superbowl party. Every single sign was there for him to realize that you were going to be at Will’s house when he walked in that night, but his elite tactical mind just didn’t come to play when you were involved. 
If it was socially acceptable for him to put his coat back on and turn back to the doorway, he would’ve already done it, but instead, he stood frozen in place next to the coat rack and it had nothing to do with the jarring winter chill. Whatever game was happening in the kitchen had you throwing back shots in time with Benny right at your side, then laughing brighter than anything Santiago had seen in months. 
Four months actually. Maybe five by now. 
The way your hair was styled was all the same, the tight fit of your black top highlighted every single inch of your beautiful body, he had torn it off of you so many times, he knew it well. But there was something light about you now, a stark contrast to the image seared onto the back of his eyelids of your somber disposition as you pulled out of his driveway for the last time. There wasn’t just a hole in his chest, there was a faultline that was still shifting, quaking, decimating--
Was it warm or was he just not breathing?
The cold snap of the free beer thrust into his hand accompanied by the firm thud of the harsh grip landing on his shoulder was just enough to send his breathing back to normal, and as his stare was pulled from the sight of you in the kitchen, he found both Frankie and Will flanking him. But there wasn’t much in terms of comfort there as their party faces faded to looks of concern. 
“Oh shit…” Frankie cursed into the neck of his bottle as realization.
But Will was already a step ahead of him with the words Frankie couldn’t find. “I thought that you knew…”
He tried to shake his head, to wave it away as the first taste of beer met his tongue but as his stare found that of his two closest friends, he found their brows not just laced with concern but also with genuine sympathy. This was a party, not a pity-party but a real one, for Benny’s birthday… he wasn’t going to make a scene, he wasn’t going to ruin it or distract from him. Instead, he just waved his hands in a futile attempt to dismiss their concern and shook his head once more. 
“It’s okay, I don’t know why I didn’t know…” he waved his hands once more, even if he saw it was having no effect on their concern. “It’s fine, I’m fine, let’s just play some pool and forget about it.”
Maybe he was putting a little too much faith in the healing powers of a game of pool but if he faced away from the kitchen, he could nearly forget that you were in the same house as him. He could nearly forget the seismic rift through his chest and the way it burned with each and every thought of you. Fish was kicking his ass, which was not the way their matches usually went, but the casual banter and laughter was helping. 
Or at least, it was helping. It stopped helping when Frankie leaned towards him, rubbing the chalk on the tip of his cue and whispered, “She’s been stealing glances over here every few minutes.”
He missed his next shot pretty spectacularly after that. And it only got worse. 
“She’s coming over here, Pope.”
He couldn’t turn himself around. He knew he should, he knew that you deserved a face-to-face, he wasn’t avoiding you, you hadn’t done anything wrong… he just couldn’t. Not until he saw Fish and Will retreat a few steps to offer the guise of privacy. You had to be right behind him, he needed to turn around--
“Hey Santi…”
Fuck. He even missed the sound of your voice. 
The toes of his boots turned slowly, as if they were caught in thick glue, holding him in place, but the second his stare found yours, it was like he was standing on ice without skates, completely unsure of his footing. 
“Hi,” was all he could muster out as his hands gripped tight to the pool cue in his grasp, nearly tight enough to draw his tan knuckles white. 
But if you noticed, you didn’t say anything. Your hands just found your back pockets while your stare held his, neither one of you moving to break the silence at first, just soaking up the four months of difference between the two of you. 
And then, both at once, you tried to break the silence. 
“You look good--”
“I’m glad you came--”
Then a round of half-comfortable, half-uncomfortable laughter fell from both of your lips as you pulled your hand from your pocket and gestured for him to go first. 
His throat was tight, pinching around the words as they escaped his empty chest, “You look good.” 
He regretted them almost as soon as they fell from his winter-chapped lips, eyes falling to the wood floor beneath his boots as his head shook instinctively. He wanted to pull them back, to swallow them down like the beer he had been drinking heavily throughout the night, he wanted them to stop before they ever hit your ears but they were already out, lingering in the foot of stale air between the two of you. 
Yet, with his eyes to the floor, he missed the way your half-smile shifted into something more comfortable on your lips, something more genuine. And as he tried to recoil back from his own words, you stopped him. 
“I shouldn’t have--”
“No, no it’s okay…” you laughed again, this time with the warmth he normally associated with you filling the freezing air between you two, bringing his stare back up to yours. “Thank you, you look good too, it’s good to see you.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at that, the sound bouncing around as an echo through his hollow chest before falling from his lips in time with yours. He most certainly did not look good, he owned a mirror, he knew that much for himself. Bags under his eyes, in desperate need of a curl-controlling haircut, wrinkled shirt, worn jeans and the same boots he wore wherever he was, no matter what he was doing… he didn’t look good, he looked like he normally did but worse. You looked good. 
But he didn’t fight you on it. If he did, he’d have to admit exactly why he looked the way he did. He’d have to tell you that he looked as good as he felt and he didn’t need to weigh you down with that guilt, this wasn’t your fault. 
So he curbed his laughter and easily responded, “it’s good to see you too.” 
At least that wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t something he was saying just to be civil, nor was it something he was afraid to say, it was just what came out and it was true. It was like a breath of fresh air but freezing cold at the same time. It was good to see you, it would just make going home alone so much worse. 
Thankfully, you kept the conversation flowing as if you didn’t notice the sad turn of his eyes. 
“I’m glad you decided to come, Benny said he hadn’t seen you in a while and that you were debating coming tonight, and I thought it was because of me... I just... I’m glad you came, it means a lot to him.” You started off strong, but the longer you talked, the less confident you became in the words that left your mouth until you ultimately sounded as hesitant as he did, your stare dropping to your feet just as his had. 
The civil thing to do would have been to reassure you that you weren’t the reason he had been distant with the guys recently, it would’ve been the truth too. If he was being honest, it was the overwhelming sadness he felt whenever he did the simplest of things that was holding him back, and yeah, maybe that had only come about because you had left but it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. He wanted to be civil though, he wanted to be friendly no matter how bad it hurt, so he shrugged and offered a non-answer casual reply and hoped you went with it. 
“I’m happy to be here for him, and you know…” he trailed off, reaching back to the table for the bottle that sat there, “the free beer.”
The laugh you gave him back this time wasn’t in anyways forced. It was familiar, it was genuine, it was a break through the civil front you put up and it was real. That had to mean something, right?
“Free beer, yeah well, it tastes like free beer so...” you joked back, returning your stare to his as you did. And though he didn’t want to read too far into it, it also seemed like your shoulders released a tension as you spoke, like you were relaxing back into conversation with him. 
He couldn’t help but do the same, a genuine smile worming it’s way to his lips as he did. “Well, you’ve got a strange taste for expensive weird beers.”
“Strange taste? They’re good--” you chuckled as you tried to defend yourself but his laughter cut you off. 
“None of them were good, not even that pineapple one you loved so much.”
“I loved it because it was delicious, unlike the shit you drink.”
“Well the shit I drink is free tonight, so I guess I win.” He continued to fight with another laugh, all too comfortable with the way it was flowing out of him when it was you on the receiving end. 
He knew it was wrong to do, to get sucked back into your inescapable gravitational field, but he couldn’t help himself. Besides, it had been Frankie’s plan to get him to come out and forget you and even he wasn’t jumping in to stop him, so maybe it wasn’t as wrong as it felt like it was. 
Maybe it wasn’t wrong at all, maybe coming out and seeing you again was what he needed to bring you back into his life, maybe that was Frankie’s plan, maybe--
“Where’s my partner! I’ve got a game to win over here!” Benny shouted from the kitchen as he moved with wide arms and a following crowd towards the living room. And as you glanced over your shoulder and made eye contact with him, it was clear that you were who he was looking for. However, as he saw you with Santi, he toned down his volume and gave you some sort of silent signal that you waved off. 
“I should probably go deal with him…” you chuckled softly as you turned back to him, sticking your hands back into your back pockets nervously. “It was really good to see you, I’m glad you came tonight.”
“Yeah, good to see you too…”
With that, you gave him another smile and turned away, half-jogging back towards Benny and his obvious drunkenness. 
“You okay, man?” Frankie quickly asked as he came back to his side, Will rounding the table to do the same. 
He tried to wave them off, to dismiss the feelings bubbling in his chest and focus on the meaningless game of pool in front of them, and while the two lingering men clearly didn’t believe him, they knew better than to push it. There was nothing either of them could do to make it better, nothing they could say, nothing they could change, so instead, they gave him the distraction he was desperate for. They cracked a few jokes, lined up their next shots, and let him spend the rest of the night trying to forget the brief sense of warmth flaming in his chest when he was talking to you. 
It was the first warmth he had truly felt since the seasons shifted. 
The smell of hospitals in winter…
Not going to Benny’s fight the following week had been a conscious choice, not solely because he knew you would be there, but he couldn’t deny that it was a heavily contributing factor. The cold made going out worse, he had a long day at work and figured a calm night in would be healthier for him then a packed fight, and yeah, he didn’t want to see you so soon after Benny’s birthday. 
He wasn’t proud of hiding, but it was better for the both of you. Or, rather, it should have been. 
Just as a subtle pull of sleep was beginning to tug on his eyelids where he sat on his couch, alone, watching reruns of whatever crap cable show they were showing at 11 o’clock at night, his phone began to buzz beside him on the cold leather of his couch, just outside the blanket he had thrown over himself. He checked it almost mindlessly as his brain toed the line between truly awake and falling asleep, expecting to see a text from Will in their group chat saying something along the lines of ‘Benny won’ or ‘Benny lost’.
But the buzzing wasn’t singular like one message coming through, it was sustained, like a phone call, and the solemn voice on the other end of the line pulled a devastating sickness from his stomach. 
It was Will calling. Benny had taken a serious hit to the chest, he had to be rushed to the ER. It didn’t matter that you would be there, he really had no choice but to be there for his friend, and that meant changing out of his sweatpants and rushing to the hospital with a bag full of clean clothes for the two of them, as Will requested. 
Over the phone, he hadn’t really understood his request for the shirt and sweats for himself as well as for Benny, but as he walked into the ER waiting room and found the broad shouldered blonde waiting next to you and the small Santa teddy bear in your lap, he figured it out. 
His shirt and jeans were covered in blood. 
“Benny’s blood,” you explained as you stood up to greet him while he passed the bag of clean clothes to Will, “his nose broke too and he had to help the medic pull him out of the ring.”
It didn’t take long for Will to leave with the clothes to change, and even when he came back, there was a lot of paperwork there for him to sign, leaving Santiago with you in the waiting room, slouching uncomfortably against the plastic chairs in almost complete silence. The room itself had its own hum of noise; chatter from the elderly couple in the corner, hushed whispers from the mother and father trying to contain their toddler and keep their baby asleep in the carrier, the drunk college-aged kids on the far side of the room bantering back and forth… but between the two of you was nothing but cold silence. 
Cold silence and a teddy bear wearing a santa hat in the seat Will had occupied between the two of you. 
He just couldn’t take it anymore, the warm, stale hospital air was nothing but a small spark of warmth compared to the heat that naturally connected you to him and he was freezing beside you in silence. 
“Why the bear?” The voice that came out of his tight throat was one he barely recognized from himself, strained from the hour of night and the exhaustion blanketed over him, so he quickly cleared his throat and repeated himself. “Why the bear?”
The somber disposition that had coated your face since he first walked in faded slightly as you looked up from your lap and toward him, a half smile coming to your lips as your attention shifted from him to the bear and back to him. “It’s December, it was all they had in the gift shop.”
“It’s cute, he’ll like it.”
“Yeah, I think so,” you hummed, shrugging your shoulders as he leaned back to turn more towards you. 
With the silence broken now, it felt much easier to keep going as if nothing had changed in the past five months. “How was the fight, you know... before he ended up in the ER?”
“He would’ve won, but you know how he gets cocky, drops his guard…” 
“He shows off for you,” Santi mumbled with another shrug and you slowly nodded along with him. He almost took it back, he had never been jealous or weird about your friendship with Benny, he knew better than anyone that it was nothing more than friendship. And you always knew what he meant… “I mean--”
“I know what you mean.”
You always knew what he meant. 
After that, conversation flowed much easier. It was friendly, civil, and easy, catching up about work and mutual friends, day to day excitement, your mutual love for the local sports teams. Leaning forward on your elbows, cutting the distance of stale air of the empty seat between the two of you with an attentive stare, you followed carefully as he told the story of the night when Benny drunkenly broke Frankie’s wrist in two-touch football, long before Benny had ever met you, which resulted in a similarly long night in the ER.
It was just easy. As the conversation grew more and more effortless, he grew looser and looser, letting himself laugh, letting himself bask in the warmth of your full attention. It was a high he had nearly forgotten all about, going straight to his head and accelerating the beating of his heart. 
He missed you. 
Eventually Will returned, filling the seat between the two of you, but the conversation didn’t go cold, it just evolved. Naturally. Effortlessly. 
Santi couldn’t remember the last time anything had been this easy. 
And after another hour or so of waiting, the three of you were called by a nurse and pointed in the direction of Benny’s room where he laid, bruised, bandaged, and out of his mind of whatever pain medication they had pumped him full of. 
He liked the bear. He really liked the bear. And even if every laugh that bounced around his chest and out through his busted lips hurt like hell, it didn’t stop him from letting them flow freely enough to erase all the tension that had held in the three of you out in the waiting room. 
He was still Benny, and he was going to be fine. 
Knowing that made it a lot easier to say goodbye once the exhausted nurse pushed back the curtain to remind the four of you about family only visiting hours. It was nearly 3 in the morning and the four of you were not exactly a quiet bunch, so none of you blamed her, you just walked to Benny’s side, pressed a kiss to his forehead and bid him good night as Santi gave Will a solid hug. 
“Get home safe,” Will minded. 
And both you and Santi responded in unison, “Will do.”
It was too easy. 
So, of course, it could never last. 
It had snowed since Santi had arrived earlier, leaving the scarcely lit parking lot covered in a disgusting icy grey sludge, and as the two of you stepped out into the cold, he instinctively handed his gloves to you as he watched you shiver and stuff your hands into your coat pockets. You were dressed for the hot gym having come from the fight, your coat was warm but giving you his gloves was just what he did, what he always did. 
He didn’t even realize he was in the wrong until you turned and stared at them. 
“Sorry, habit…” He sighed, taking them back and slipping them on himself while you stifled a quiet chuckle blooming out of your chest. 
“It’s okay…”
The two of you couldn’t keep doing this. 
Crossing the parking lot in silence was simple, it was just the two of you, no prying eyes, no facades, but it wasn’t always going to be like this. You were going to be at every one of Benny’s fights, you would be on any guest list for any party being thrown, there wasn’t a way he could keep avoiding you, it just wasn’t possible. The two of you were going to have to find some alternative to whatever the two of you were, some version of your relationship where you could be… friends. 
That’s what you had said when you left his house for the last time, that the two of you could still be friends. He had thought it was just a nice gesture, something you felt you had to say. In all the mutual break ups he had ever been in, someone always said that to lighten the blow, just like you had, but now it seemed like a real necessity. 
The two of you were going to be in each other’s lives, you had to be some kind of friends. 
Again, out of habit, he found himself following you to your car, but the words falling from his lips were in no way practiced, tripping and stumbling out of his chest. “Do you think…”
Your boots stopped in the dirty, icy slush, turning to the sound of his rough voice cutting through the freezing air, waiting for him to finish. But as the next chilling wind blew past the two of you, making you shiver, he still hadn’t found the rest of his words so you took a step towards him and prompted him back. “Do I think what?”
He shrugged his shoulders tensely, “do you think… I don’t know, do you think maybe we could get coffee sometime next week? We’re going to keep running into each other, we should try to stay friends…”
Your smile was soft, warming the air around the two of you even as you shivered and wiped your hand under your freezing nose. 
“Yeah… Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
His chest swelled with a feeling he hadn’t felt in far too long. 
Another gust of wind tore past the two of you and you shivered once more, turning back to your car for a quick glance and then back to him, “Yeah, just text me and we’ll figure out a time.”
“Sounds good,” he hid his smile as best he could, taking a step backwards in the direction of his car across the lot. “Drive safe.”
“You too, Santi.”
Coffee was good. Coffee would be good. 
He repeated that to himself a few dozen times as he clambered into his truck, his eyes trained on your tail lights as you pulled from the lot and back out onto the street. Coffee would be good. 
Maybe if he repeated it enough times, he’d actually believe it. Maybe if he repeated it enough times, it’d actually be true. 
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
It was a mistake. He should have just burned the stupid sweater. 
Watching your face light up as you took the soft, perfect fabric into your hands tore his heart in two. Not right away, at first it actually sparked a raging fire in his chest, bringing an unfamiliar warmth to his cheeks. But that could only last for so long once he remembered that you weren’t his. 
He was just a friend returning a sweater over a cup of coffee. A friendly cup of coffee. 
You weren’t going to surge over the table and kiss him, he hadn’t bought your coffee even though he knew your order by heart, you weren’t going to go home with him once your mugs were emptied… you two were just friends. 
He was just a friend returning a sweater. That was it. 
“You know, I was looking for this the other day, couldn’t fathom where it ended up…” you sighed, hanging it with your coat over the back of your chair before returning to meet his stare with the same warm smile painting your lips. “Thank you, Santi.”
“Yeah, no problem… I found it in the laundry room, I was looking for a blanket.”
“It’s been freezing lately, I know…”
You easily carried the conversation away from any awkwardness pretty easily from there. It was strange to settle into, a relationship with you that was purely platonic, but after the first twenty minutes, the two of you actually seemed to be finding your footing even on the iciest slopes. 
The two of you each bought your own coffees, and when you later decided you wanted a muffin as well, he didn’t step up and offer to get it for you, he didn’t even remind you that this shop had the cream cheese you liked in case you wanted a bagel instead. When you began talking about a particularly sensitive topic, he didn’t reach over the table to hold your hand, and when he tried to update you on Tom’s kids, you didn’t reach across the table for his hand either. When he kicked you under the table accidentally, he apologized, and when the waitress bringing your muffin very clearly flirted with him, you didn’t say anything and neither did he. 
It was… platonic. Plain and simple. 
Except he didn’t watch his friends this closely. 
He didn’t notice when Frankie bit his lip and sip at his coffee to avoid overzealously laughing at one of his jokes, nor did his ears gravitate to the sounds of rhythmic tapping of Will’s fingernails against the table top. 
There were rules to friendships. One of them being that you weren’t supposed to watch the lips of your friends while they talked, or the way their tongue darted out over the drips of coffee which stained your bottom lips after a sip. 
He wanted to be your friend… he was just too in love with you still. 
Your phone buzzing on the table was the final nail in the coffin because it never hurt when other friends said they had to go. Sure, he’d give a friend a hard time for quitting a party early or leaving the rest of the group, and sure, he’d miss their company, but it never hurt like this when they left. It never broke his heart the way it did when you shifted your full attention to the reminder buzzing on your screen. 
“I’m really glad we did this…” you spoke almost absentmindedly as you began pulling your coat back on, him doing the same, pushing his chair back up to the table with his knee as his hand fixed his collar. “Thank you for suggesting it.”
“Yeah, I’m glad we did this too…” he sighed, his gloves weighing so heavily in his hands as he followed you out the door back into the cool winter air, not nearly as freezing as it was that night outside the hospital, especially with the bright sun shining down, not a cloud in the sky. 
“I’m parked over here…” 
He followed your finger and nodded, stuffing his gloves into his coat pocket, “I’m right in front of the pet store so…”
The two of you stayed shoulder to shoulder, walking along the sparsely populated sidewalk until you turned back into the neighboring lot, heading to where your cars were parked just a few spaces from one another. And yet again, without even thinking about it, he followed you to yours on instinct. 
He didn’t know how to say goodbye to you, not in a way that was acceptable among friends. 
This was where he would kiss you, wrap you in a tight hug and wish you the best for the rest of the day of work that you had ahead of you. That wasn’t an option here. Neither was clasping your hand in a tight handshake or hitting you on the back like he did with the guys, it just wouldn’t feel right, not with you. 
He didn’t know how to not be in love with you. 
“I’m going to hug you, is that okay?” You asked hesitantly as the two of you reached your driver’s side door, turning back to him. 
He couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly he wasn’t the only one still trying to work his way through this blatant awkwardness. “Yes… yeah, that’s okay.”
Your arms quickly moved to wrap tight around his neck and his settled so easily around your waist and up your back, holding you tight against him. You were slotted perfectly against him, fitting in along every ridge of his body like a pair of puzzle pieces, warm and perfect. His hands immediately moved to hold you in even tighter too, purely out of genuine habit, one hand around your waist and the other up your back, almost reaching the bare skin of his calloused fingertips up to the warmth of your neck. 
It was supposed to be a friendly coffee, now he was sure that if he turned his head, he’d catch your lips with his, incapable of pulling away. 
There was another fire lit in his chest, one he knew he had to extinguish. 
In the same instant that he pulled his hand down and almost off of your form, leaving them hesitantly at your waist, you did the same, pulling them slowly down from around his neck, lingering on his chest for a few seconds too long. 
He was hopeful. Your face was as somber as he felt, and hope was a heartbreaking thing. 
“Bye, Santi…” You pulled your hands the rest of the way back from him and maneuvered yourself out of his longing grip to step back towards your care as he got an equally weak goodbye out as well. 
“Bye…”
Hope was a heartbreaking thing.
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
The holidays had always been hard for Santiago. 
The first December he spent in the service was the same December that his parents died, making not just that Christmas unbearable, but every subsequent Christmas as well. He spent his holiday season out of the country, away from his friends, away from his brothers, it was the only way he could survive until he met you. 
And this was going to be his first without you. 
Frankie had been kind enough to offer Santi a seat at his table for Christmas Eve, and had even gone as far as to invite him over for opening presents the next morning at the crack of dawn with his little girl while Will and Benny were heading to their family’s for the whole ordeal. As much as Santi knew he was more of a grinch than he was a jolly old man, he knew that spending alone in his freezing house was going to be hell. 
He graciously accepted. 
Yet, now he was here, watching Frankie bounce his little girl on his knee as she giggled, the colorful stuffed cat that Santi had bought for her gripped tight in her fat little fist, he was beginning to think that there was no good way to celebrate. 
At home alone, here in the warmth of Frankie’s family, they were both bad for his heart. 
“I was talking to Benny the other day,” the sound of the fridge opening and shutting shook him out of his thoughts where he leaned over the kitchen counter, mindlessly spinning his empty beer bottle around in his hand. Frankie was grabbing another for himself, scratching at the stiff collar of his nice sweater, and watching his best friend with genuine concern. “He says she hasn’t moved on yet either…”
“I wasn’t--” Santi quickly launched to his own defense but Fish just rolled his eyes and continued uncapping the bottle. 
“He says he’s tried setting her up and she’s not interested.”
Santi scoffed into his bottle at that, trying for another sip and finding it as empty as it had been ten minutes ago when he used it as an excuse to step away from the festivities. 
“I’m serious--” Fish defended but again, Pope scoffed, releasing the hot air deep from within his chest. 
“Don’t do that, don’t give me hope like that.”
“It’s not fake--”
Frankie kept up his dismantling stare even as Santi tried to step past him, finally hiding behind the refrigerator door in pretend contemplation to avoid the daggers being sent his way. “We weren’t some casual fling Fish, we were serious, she’s just taking time.”
The refrigerator door ruse only lasted so long though, eventually he had to reach for one of the last beers and pull back out of the cool air to find Frankie’s awaiting stare. It wasn’t just concern laced in his stern brow, it was a flurry of emotions all jumbled together, as unsettled as his stomach felt even as he downed a soothing sip of beer. 
“I’m just saying… there’s no sense in getting my hopes up like that.” He sighed again, his fingers nervously twitching at the label on the bottle again. 
“I’m sorry,” Fish shook his head, leaning back against the counter as Santi took a similar stance at the island across from him, still tearing at the corner of the label. “I just… I just don’t like seeing you like this.”
“Yeah, well… it’s complicated.”
“You still have feelings for her?” Another scoff echoed out of his chest and Frankie immediately shot his hands up in surrender, “Alright, I get it.”
“It’s just… I bought a ring back in February, you know, it’s just… it’s complicated.”
Complicated was putting it gently. 
He never stopped being in love with you, he never stopped even for a second to consider that he wouldn’t be spending the rest of his life with you, even when your fighting was at its worst. He couldn’t think ahead, he couldn’t go on dates, he couldn’t move on, it just wasn’t an option. Maybe you were stuck in the same loop he was, but that didn’t mean anything for him. 
You weren’t ready to move on, that didn’t mean that you wanted him back. Getting his hopes up like that, entertaining any of the thoughts that flooded his head when you lingered on your hug after coffee, it was just cruel. 
He hated the holidays. He missed you. 
Last year the two of you had spent three days away from the world, locked away in a cabin up in the mountains, with nothing but each other and a warm fire, and the first night there was maybe his favorite night of his entire life. The pain from having been sat in a car for so long, even with you driving for most of the way to let him get comfortable in the passenger seat, was still debilitating, and as the vibrant sun began setting over the snowy horizon, he started smoking one of the joints he had somewhat illegally smuggled in his toiletry bag. 
After the first few puffs of smoke, you joined him on the windowsill, bracing the brisk air that poured while he blew his smoke out. Your arrival had been silently sudden, your fluffy socks padding your feet and dampening the sound of your steps until you sat down across from him. Even as you sat, you kept quiet, never once taking your eyes off the dense book in your lap as you mindlessly bit at your nail. 
There was nothing complicated about it, no words, no fighting, just silence and each other. 
The holidays were good when they meant just you and him, snow and simplicity. 
He got you to pull your stare from your book when he stamped out the embers that burned at the filter and leaned forward, seizing your lips. And as his hand found your chin, holding you in for a second, deeper kiss, you forgot the book all together, surging to your knees to hold him in a position that was better for his back. 
“I’m going to make dinner… want to help?”
You nodded, your nose hitting up against his a few times over. 
“I love you,” he sighed, stealing another kiss from you lips, “so damn much.”
“I love you.”
It had been a year. A year that left him in a very different place. 
And it’s been a long December
Getting out of the house had gotten easier. He knew you were going to be there tonight, not just because his elite technical mind anticipated it but also because Benny, Will and Frankie had gone out of their way to remind him. And he needed to get used to being your friend, he couldn’t hide. 
It was hard, hell, it was virtually impossible, but he was trying. 
It was New Year’s Eve and he was trying. 
The laughter was actually flowing from his chest when he forgot about the hole in his heart for long enough to immerse himself in the party atmosphere. The alcohol was helping, but it also hadn’t been lost on him that you were nowhere to be found yet. 
The card game happening at the table covered in snacks and drinks was growing more and more heated, but minute after minute passed, and you still hadn’t arrived yet. The hum of the new year’s broadcast played in the background but music played louder over it and he still couldn’t get you out of his thoughts. You weren’t his to worry about anymore, but he just couldn’t help himself, besides, friends worried about each other, right?
“Hey Benny?” He hummed as Benny rounded the table behind him to go grab more drinks, catching his attention and pulling him back before he could move too far away. “Where--”
The front door flung open, slamming against the neighboring wall with a clang that grabbed the attention of the table, Benny and Santiago included. Except, as violent as it was, the tension quickly dissipated as you reached for the door and shouted, “sorry!” loud enough for everyone to hear.
“You need something?” Benny leaned back down to double check with him, slapping his hand down hard on his chest, but Santi just shook his head, too engrossed in the sight of you at the door, stripping off your coat and shaking the snow from your head and shoulders. “Alright, good talk buddy.”
You were wearing that sweater. That perfect sweater. 
Benny grabbed you before you could make it to the table where everyone had quickly resumed the heated battle over cards, spinning you in his arms before he forced you towards the table so he could continue on towards the kitchen. 
“Hey, everybody,” you smiled, waving to the table as you approached but providing a separate greeting all together to Santi as you turned towards where he sat and smiled, “hey.”
“Hey.” He smiled back, lingering on your brightness even as you turned your attention back to the table searching for a seat to join the party. 
And join the party you did. 
You looked so… happy. Laughing with the surrounding friends, drinking what Benny brought to you, cheering when the crowd in Times Square did on TV following the musical acts. It was fun, he didn’t exactly jump head first with you into the dancing and the partying, but he was having a good time watching you have a good time. 
It was somewhat masochistic, but he couldn’t stop himself. 
He wanted to be happy, like you. He wanted to be happy with you, but that wasn’t an option, so he had to settle for just being happy. 
He drank, he danced a little, not much, but a little, and he even cheered with the group when the drinking game ended and the loser attempted to drink their way out of it. He was trying, honestly trying, and then he saw you again, laughing with Benny as he told another one of his terribly loud jokes and filled your cup with more champagne.  
Happy just wasn’t working. 
The small crowd in the living room was getting louder and louder and he knew it was because the clock was ticking closer to midnight, but the sounds were echoing in his ears, bouncing around in his head and driving him nearly insane with each second that passed. Louder and louder, louder and louder. The drink in his hand was doing nothing to calm his nerves, he needed something more, he needed fresh air and he needed it now. 
Fuck. He just wanted to be happy.
And there’s reason to believe
It was freezing outside, a thin layer of snow coating the entire back patio and dead lawn, the only warmth in his vicinity coming from the burning embers of the joint between his fingers as he sucked in a deep breath. It was freezing outside, but at least, it was better than inside. 
“How many of those do you smoke nowadays…” you interrupted his thoughts, stepping out into the blistering cold with nothing but your beautiful sweater wrapped around your torso. 
Another deep breath in and out and he stamped out the butt of it on the concrete beside where he sat. “No more than before.”
“Can I sit with you?”
“Let me grab you a coat--”
“I’m fine, Santi…” you hummed, settling down next to him, the length of your thigh pressed to his, your shoulder pressed to his, bringing all the warmth from inside back to him. He could almost forget about the snow and the cold, you were like a radiator all on your own. 
And that sweater… that perfect sweater.
The two of you sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither one of you making a move, nor a sound, just listening to the whispering wind that whipped around the two of you and watching the slowly falling snowflakes melt on the ground before you. Comfortable and quiet. 
“Do you regret it?”
His head fell to the side, but your stare stayed straight ahead as the words fell from your lips. 
“Do I regret what?” He asked back, coughing out some to the side opposite of where you were sitting before looking back at you. Not demanding an answer with his stare, but not turning away anytime soon either. 
“Breaking up.”
Your stare found his this time, mere inches from his face but neither of you blinking away from it. How could he, the alcohol and weed were nothing compared to the rush that your attention gave him, especially as it ignited the fire of hope deep in his gut. Hope was heartbreaking, but in this moment, he couldn't hold himself back from the path ahead of him, the path you were begging him to go down. 
“Breaking up…” He blew out a warm breath as he shook his head, “I don’t know… I know I hated fighting with you, all the pettiness and stupid arguments, it wasn’t how I wanted to be with you, I hated that. But we tried everything we could, breaking up was a last resort, so in that sense, no, I don’t regret it.”
“Is there a sense you do?”
“Hmm?” He turned back to you as you seemed to scoot infinitesimally closer to him, siphoning off some of his warmth. 
“You said ‘in that sense’ you don’t, meaning there's a sense where you do…”
He glanced down to your lips then back up to your careful stare. “I still love you, I’m always going to love you, if that’s what you’re asking, but I think you already know that.”
“Yeah…”
He hit his knee against yours, letting out a huff of a breath, currently using all the heart his chest wanted to put behind a chuckle to open up to you. “So, I regret it in that sense.”
But you didn’t just sigh and keep the silence. Nor did you get up and run away. You just collapsed your head down onto his shoulder and let the next easy words fall from his lips. 
“Me too.”
The silence was back now, neither of you willing to do anything to break it as his arm wrapped carefully around your back to keep in more warmth than your perfect sweater ever could. 
The party continued on inside, booming and echoing like the sparklers and fireworks from all the houses on the block, but the two of you just stayed quiet, breath after breath, the cold air burning deep in your lungs. And then came the count. 
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. The chorus of their voices chimed out inside, loud enough to burst through even the shut door and ring in your ears as you held your head still against his shoulder. Six. Five. Four. 
“Do you want to head back inside--”
Three. Two. One. 
You pulled your head up off his shoulder and wrapped your freezing bare hand around the warm skin under his collar, at the back of his neck, turning not just his attention, but his lips back towards you. He caught your lips in a soft, chaste kiss, hesitant even as you held tight to his neck, keeping him close. 
“What are we doing?” He hummed, nudging his nose against yours before moving his warm forehead to your freezing one. 
“I thought we’d figure that out later…” 
His lips recaptured yours, and as your hand moved up his neck, into his hair, his hands moved around your waist, one dropping down to maneuver your knees over his. The wind was freezing, the new year was seconds old, but your lips were just as he remembered them, warm and perfect, much like the sweater he gripped so tight, balling it up in his fist and exposing your skin and making you shiver against him. His other hand continued to trail up and down your thigh before ultimately settling in the bend of your knee and keeping you close as your lips grew fervent against his. 
“We’ll talk later…?” He asked, out of breath as your lips fell onto the side of his mouth.
“Yeah.” Your smile was soft as you nodded, knocking your forehead against his again. “Later.”
Maybe hope wasn’t heartbreaking.  
Maybe this year will be better than the last
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