#yeah i could write it myself but I haven't gotten his voice right yet

[sparkling-shamrocks]

this is a total shot in the dark but does ANYONE have any Jin Sakai x reader stories with a male or gn reader??? ill take anything i just love him and cannot find ANYTHING

give me Jin who fell in love with one of the straw hat ronin. give me Jin who had something secret going on with a peasant boy back home. Jin reminiscing over a fellow samurai he lost on the beach. having a fling with one of the trappers he keeps running into. dreaming of the farmboy he promised he'd return home to. the possibilities are endless please someone send me something my crops are dying and they wither everytime i read one where you're his wife

[moiravim]

The Sacrifice Chapter 1

Bucky Barnes x yn

Zombie Apocalypse au

Warnings: zombies, death (not yn or Bucky), weapons, mention of hydra, scary themes

875 words

@doingyourmom069 helped me write 💖💖

Only two years ago, the infection had started. It makes no sense that I'm one of the few people left alive.

There's not much to do other than walk around,hoping you'll find somewhere safe. Just in case I always have a weapon in hand.

I let out a gasp as I hear clanking footsteps somewhere near. I look around, searching for a lifeless creature, one we've been calling 'an infected'.

I see it in the corner of my eye. I sharply turn around to see it staring back at me. It quickly charges towards me. I run as fast as I can while creating a logical idea in my head.

I see a fence that most likely had belonged to an abandoned campsite. I jumped the fence and continued running, not realizing it had followed me inside.

Since when could zombies climb? It didn't matter because it was getting closer, and I was running out of time. I quickly pulled a long knife out and turned around, preparing to face the undead creature.

I stab it in the neck as it runs into me. Right when it's about to bite me, I hear loud gunshots. I look down at its lifeless body.

I quickly back away, turning around to seeing man my age staring back at me. He lets out an annoyed breath of air before shaking his head.

"Holy shit, thanks, man." I spoke, voice slightly trembling. In an attempt to catch my breathe I perch down. "Yeah sure, no problem. Were you bit?" He asks in a serious tone.

"No, I haven't been bit." I respond, sounding startled. I roll up my sleeves, showing him my arms to prove it. He seems to have believed it, so now I ask him a question. "Have you been bit?" My voice laced with suspicion.

"No if I was bit I wouldn't of saved your ass." He stated with annoyed eyes squinting slightly in the process.

After he finished taking the silence that took over was so awkward you feel yourself almost struggling to breathe, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Instead of letting the silence grow I choose to introduce myself. "So... I'm y/n, and you are...?" I look him in the eyes awaiting an answer. He responds "Bucky."

He dosent even attempt to smile so you figure you should at least attempt to crack a joke.He laughs loudly before returning back to his stotic self. I chuckle before asking "Have you eaten yet?" He responds "No I haven't, have you?" You answer "I haven't, let me cook dinner. I got some new supplies earlier today that I can use."

He goes to sit down on an awkward block of wood while I begin preparing the food. I pull out a gas burner and a soup pot I had recently found. Opening my backpack, I grabbed the grocery bag containing vegetables I had found just a few hours prior.

I had started making the broth last night, so now all I had to do was cook. I sit patiently, waiting for the food to finish. I turn my head to look at Bucky, preparing to ask him a question. "Can you look around the campground for some bowls? Maybe spoons?" I ask him slightly annoyed.

"Sure thing." He says in a ambitious tone. He walks away as I turn back around to continue cooking out food.

I hear the sound of someone stepping on leaves, I turn around to see him returning with a box filled with bowls, plates, and silverware. He helps pour the soup into each bowl before handing one to me. I grab a spoon, thanking him and then tasting the soup I prepared.

I begin attempting to spark up a conversation. "So... You've been traveling alone this whole time?" I curiously ask him.

"No. No, I haven't. Only for a month or so." He responded dismally. I nodded, showing sympathy for him. "What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

He looks at me with an annoyed face before responding, "My friends Sam, Steve, and I used to survive together. Sam... Sam's gone. Dead. After Sam's death, Steve and I had gotten separated."

I noticed tears starting to pour in his eyes so I decided to change the topic. "Me and my friend Natasha lived together when all of this started. We got separated, too..." He looks at me pitifully and rubs my shoulder, attempting to comfort me.

I slightly smile at him sadly, and he smiles back. "You can stay here for the night if you'd like." He offers.

"I'm leaving this site in the morning. You can choose to stay here or come with me." He adds before putting his finished bowl of soup down. I nodded, letting him know I heard and understood what he said.

When I finish eating, I begin to get ready for bed, laying down on my sleeping bag, I almost immediately feel a wave of exhaustion hit, practically passing out right when my head hits the sleeping bag.

A/N: This first chapter was sm fun to write 🤣🤣 I already have chapters 1-6 planned so expect more parts coming soon!!

[elle-rosewater]

Hello! I am actually so curious after that one post — do you have a favorite scene from Argonauts that you could give a behind-the-scenes commentary on? Your series is amazing and so well researched!

Thank youuuu for this question, I am going to explode!

You must understand how much I hated CA:TFA when I first saw it lol. Thought I was so clever when Bucky saved Steve in the alley at the beginning and I said out loud to no one, "This guy isn't making it out of the movie." When I convinced myself to give Cap another shot and watched TWS, it made me hate TFA even more.

Those Smithsonian scenes were great! I wanted more of those! Who the hell were those guys in the murals? Those missions Peggy was talking about were Steve's legacy! Those acts were the stuff of legend! WHY WAS THERE ONLY A 30-SECOND MONTAGE OF IT IN TFA?? WHY WASN'T THERE ALREADY A LONGFIC TO FILL THIS MASSIVE OBVIOUS GAP?

So I put to good use the knowledge I already had of the European Theatre of World War II. It's been an interest of mine for a long, long time, way before I heard of Captain America. Never, ever, ever will the comments about The Argonauts being well-researched not make me feel proud.

To date, I think Chapter 6 "Novara" is one of my best. The balance of action with character and emotional development was about as good as it gets for me. All the guys got to demonstrate their competency as individuals — which was very important to me when I first started writing. Everyone needed a distinct voice, personality, and their own development or emotional arc within the overall story. Told myself the readers needed to care about and be invested in at least one of the Commandos outside of Bucky. Pretty sure this is when I really found the right voice for Jim Morita. It's here where the very first seeds of doubt are planted in Jim's brain, where he thinks maybe he should say something about what he knows and what he's seen. You can see the growth in him when you compare how Jim talked with Bucky in "Novara" to the way they talked in "Plasma" (that's the chapter with the "it is your duty to be my family" speech). Jim (and Monty) used physical distance and pessimism a bit like defense mechanisms. He was relieved when Gabe took the lead when they found Bucky in the belfry. He leaned away from Bucky when he was sick. He stood aside when Steve showed up in the church. In "Plasma," Jim didn't do that. He was hands-on starting the drip and knew the right things to say. He didn't hesitate to do what needed to be done and to speak up for what he needed in return.

Cripes, Jim has endeared himself to me so much since I started The Argonauts. His story is for all the people that keep others at arm's length because they're scared, the people that have had their defences up for so long that they don't remember how to take them down.

But, yeah, the setting and tone of the Novara battle was influenced by the final battle sequence in Saving Private Ryan, right down to the belfry that I put Bucky in. Luckily, Bucky makes it out of there, unlike Jackson in the film. The medic in Saving Private Ryan was my favourite character; find "Wade" in The Torture and Rescue of Prometheus. The medic in Band of Brothers was also my favourite character/person (are you seeing a pattern in me yet?). We haven't gotten any references to him or the "Bastogne" episode yet, but we will get them.

I'm sure I've said it before, but: Let it not be a secret that the emotional climax of The Argonauts will look a lot like the scene from "The Breaking Point" episode of Band of Brothers. Thanks a lot, Neal McDonough. /s

[treahollow]

Watch over me ~ Part 1/2

(A ganqing fic)

Hi! This is my first time writing a fanfic so it’s probably not that good... Also I don’t know how to name this so the title might change.

Summary: Ganyu realises that she likes Keqing and adorableness ensues.

—————

Ganyu was sitting on Mt. Aocang, looking over the sea of clouds stretching through the distance, covering the world below. The only indication of said bustling world below even existing, were the mountaintops reaching just above the clouds. Up here it almost seemed that time itself had stopped.

The sun was low and a hint of gold still remained in the sky. Calling the view breathtaking wouldn't do it justice, and yet, it didn't feel complete. It felt somewhat… lonely. Though Ganyu assumed that she simply had gotten used to the liveliness of Liyue harbor over the years.

“Is there something on your mind, child?” Cloud Retainer's voice pulled Ganyu out of her thoughts. 

Ganyu quickly turned to the Adeptus sitting at the opposite end of the table from her. She didn't know for long Cloud Retainer had been looking at her and maybe it was better not to think about it too much.

“Oh- no I was just admiring the view, I haven't had the chance to visit in a while.” Ganyu looked back at the seemingly infinite blanket of clouds “I forgot how peaceful it is up here.”

“Mhh,” from the corner of her eye, Ganyu could see Cloud Retainer turning her head to where she was looking. “I’m sure that this is quite the change from what you are used to. I know that you are usually quite busy, so I do appreciate that you made time to visit me on your birthday.”

“Ah, well you should thank one of my co-workers for that.” Ganyu said while fidgeting with her hands. If it wasn't for Keqing, Ganyu would’ve been at her desk as usual right now. “I believe you’ve met her before, actually.”

—————

It was the day before Ganyu’s birthday and the setting sun casted a golden glow through the window into Keqings office. She was finishing up the last of her paperwork for the day, something about treasure hoarders assaulting a traveling merchant, nothing out of the ordinary, really. 

A knock at her door made Keqing look up from her desk, her eyes met Ganyu’s and she felt a small smile settle on her face. 

“Come in.” Keqing said and Ganyu did just that.

“I finished reviewing Yanshang teahouse’s financial report, where would you like me to put it?” Ganyu asked, papers in hand.

“Oh, you can just set them on my desk right there,” She gestured to an empty corner of her desk. 

Ganyu laid the papers down on the appointed spot and turned to look at Keqing. “That should be all for today, do you need any help finishing up?”

“No need. I’m as good as finished myself.” Ganyu noded and was ready to leave. “Uh, there is one more thing, actually.” Keqing grabbed a small, neatly wrapped package from her drawer and walked over to Ganyu. “Since it’s your birthday tomorrow, I made sure that all of your tasks for the day were handed off to other people.” 

“Y-you really didn’t have to, I worked on my birthday plenty of times, I really don’t mind.” Keqing saw that She was getting a bit flustered, as she often did in these kinds of situations.

“Well, everything has already been taken care of and you deserve to properly relax on your birthday. Plus you can see this as my gift for you.” She reassured. Keqing was set on giving Ganyu the day off and none of her arguments could change that.

“But…” Ganyu looked slightly defeated. “Well if you put it that way, I can’t really refuse.” 

Keqing was pleased at how quickly Ganyu accepted and handed her the package she got from her drawer. “I would also like to give you this,” Ganyu took the package for Keqing, “I wasn’t sure what to get you, but I hope you like it.”

It was silent for a moment, Keqing met Ganyu’s sunset coloured eyes, they almost seemed to be glowing in the sunlight. Keqing felt her face warm up slightly. “Thank you again. Uhm, I’l be going then.”

“Yeah, yeah right,” Keqing was pulled from her thoughts, “happy early birthday then.” 

“thanks, goodbye.” she said, looking back as she walked towards the exit.

“Bye.”

And just like that, she was gone.

—————

“lost in thought again?” Cloud Retainer asked curiously.

Ganyu jumped a bit “oh! sorry.” she felt bad for zoning out so often in their conversation. She couldn't help it, really, her work usually kept her from being alone with her thoughts until she was back home. Though, at that point her brain was too fried to think properly and she’d just doze off. 

“It’s alright, were you thinking about her, perhaps?” The question was genuine, though Ganyu couldn’t help but sense the slight tease in her tone.

“Uhm, yeah.” She paused, being somewhat embarrassed to admit it. “I guess I was thinking about Keqing.” A gentle breeze rustled through the few trees on the mountain, when Ganyu looked up, she could see Cloud Retainer was considering what to say.

“So are you two together or…?” Cloud Retainer asked somewhat hesitantly.

Ganyu immediately felt her face flush up “Uh! Oh no no, we're not.” Together? They were just friends, right?

“But you like her?”

Ganyu was silent for a bit, liking Keqing? She never properly thought about it. “Ah, I’m not sure...” She was looking down, fidgeting with her hands. “Honestly I have no clue about relationships.” And she didn’t, though the idea didn’t bother her, it was just that she never really considered it.

“Well, it would be dishonest of me to say that I have any experience to share. Though you might be able to ask some of your friends for advice.”

“Yeah that's a good idea, I'll think about it.” though not right now, she didn’t want to zone out again. 

Cloud Retainer nods, “Just don’t spend too much time thinking, time can fly by if you are not careful.” 

Ganyu felt a slight sadness come over her, though she didn’t quite know why “Yeah… thank you.” 

Ganyu spent the rest of the day catching up with Cloud Retainer. Shenhe also came by to wish Ganyu a happy birthday, since she was staying at Mt. Aocang at this time of year anyway.

By the time Ganyu makes it back to her apartment, the sun had already set past the horizon. Being back in Liyue harbor, she remembered the still unopened package that Keqing gave her the day before. She turns on the lights and walks to her room.

It’s still sitting untouched on her desk. Ganyu goes to sit down by it and slowly unwraps the package, she can tell that Keqing wrapped it with great care. The wrapping paper reveals a snowglobe with a miniature of Liyue harbor in it, at the base of the snowglobe there’s a short text that reads ‘Adepti watch over us, year after year.’

The tiny trinket gave Ganyu a warm feeling. It’s not like she wanted or by any means needed this, but it’s the thought that made her smile. Despite Liyue being mostly at peace and going into an era of humanity, Ganyu makes sure to look out for the people as part of the Liyue Qixing. Having Keqing acknowledge this, it put her in good spirits.

She had to make sure to properly thank Keqing tomorrow. As well as think about what Cloud Retainer said…

Tomorrow.

—————

Cold autumn wind was brushing through Keqings hair as she strolled through Liyue harbor. Trying to think of a nice gift for Ganyu made it apparent how little she actually knew about her co-worker’s interests. 

Sitting inside pondering wasn't getting her far, so Keqing decided to try her luck outside, maybe the various shops in the harbor would give her ideas. The change of scenery was nice at least, Keqing could look at the orange leaves floating down from the trees all day. The colour reminded her of Ganyu’s eyes…

“Keqing! Good to see you here today!” A friendly voice pulled Keqing from her thoughts. Turning towards the source of the voice, she saw Xiangling walking towards her. Her smile was barely visible above the mound of various ingredients she was holding. At least, Keqing assumed that they were ingredients, though some, if not most, did not seem edible. 

“Hi there Xiangling, it’s been a while.” Keqing greeted her with a small wave. “Do you need help with carrying all of that?” she offered as Xiangling seemed to somewhat struggle to not let anything fall from the pile.

“Nah I’m good, I was just bringing these to Yun Jin’s for our weekly ‘experimental tea brewing extravaganza!’, as we like to call it.” The silly name made Keqing laugh. “So, where are you heading?”

“Actually I was just strolling around. Ganyu’s birthday is coming up soon and I want to gift her something nice, but to be quite honest: I’m not sure what she likes.” Keqing wasn’t one to quickly share her troubles, but she knew that Xiangling genuinely cared.

“Hmm, there's this store by the main bridge that sells all kinds of little trinkets. I think it’s supposed to be a souvenir shop for tourists, so I don’t know if Ganyu would like anything that they sell there, but it might be worth taking a look.” she suggested.

“Thank you for the suggestion, I guess it won't hurt to see if they have anything Ganyu might like.” It didn’t sound like the store Xiangling mentioned was too promising, but she appreciated the help either way. It was not like she had a better idea herself, anyway.

“No problem! I should be off now though, I don’t want Yun Jin or Xinyan to get worried or anything.” She gave Keqing another smile as a goodbye, since waving wasn’t an option at the moment.

“Bye then, have fun.” And they parted ways.

Keqing made her way to the bridge in front of Liyue Harbor’s gates and found the shop Xiangling was talking about. It sold all kinds of trinkets: from hairpins, to keychains, to miniature figures, supposedly of the Adepti. 

None of it was really anything you’d give to someone who was from Liyue, much less an Adepti who dedicated her life to protecting the nation, Keqing thought when her eyes caught a shelve housing snowglobes. Inside were mini versions of Liyue Harbor and the text on the base read ‘Adepti watch over us, year after year.’

Keqing only realized how sappy the text sounded after buying the snowglobe, but if nothing else she could just brush it off as the fake snow reminding her of Ganyu’s cryo vision. She was unsure if Ganyu would buy that but at least she had something to give her.

Maybe she could get to know her colleague properly this year and get her something better on her next birthday. The thought of spending more time with Ganyu gave her a warm feeling, despite the autumn cold brushing against her skin. 

She should really bring a scarf next time.

—————

Keqing was in her office, the day was like any other, though she felt more tired than usual. Probably a result of her essentially working for two people the day before. It was a slight annoyance, but worth it to give Ganyu a nice day off on her birthday. 

Speaking of the blue-haired Adeptus, Keqing hadn’t seen her yet, this wasn’t necessarily unusual. It was only midday and Keqing knew that Ganyu skipping a day of work was less likely than Rex Lapis coming back from the dead. Nonetheless, Keqing missed her since they hadn’t seen each other the day before.

Keqing managed to focus back on her work before completely getting lost in thought. She was busy reading through some report on suspicious activity in the chasm, something about a tall, blond figure, wearing dark clothing who was snooping around in the underground mines. 

She figured that something like this might need Ningguangs attention, so she left her office to go and find her. Moving up the short staircase of the Jade Chamber, she saw that Ninguang was sitting by her desk and discussing something with Beidou.

Keqing walked up to the archway leading into Ningguangs office and knocked on the frame to notify her presence. 

Ningguang looked away from her conversation with Beidou to greet her “Keqing, please come in.”

Keqing walked a few steps closer “Lady Ningguang, I hope I am not interrupting anything?”

“Not at all, I was just about to leave anyway.” Beidou answered for her. She got up from her seat to see herself out of the Jade Chamber. “See you at Wanmin tomorrow then!” Beidou said while waving goodbye.

Ningguangs cheeks were slightly more red than usual and Keqing could tell that she was a bit annoyed at Beidou for sharing details about their weekend plans so openly. When Beidou was gone she started: “So there’s this report about a mysterious figure lurking in the underground mines of the chasm.”

“Is there any description of their appearance?” Ningguang asked, probably to make sure it wasn’t just someone she asked to investigate down there.

“It says here that they were tall with blond hair, dark clothing and presumably male. They also had an, and I quote ‘ominous presence’.” she recalls from the statement.

“I see.” Ningguang thinks for a moment before answering. “Thank you very much, you can set the report on my desk and I’l have Yelan look into it.” Keqing nodded and set the report on Ningguang’s desk as instructed. “I also heard that you scheduled a day off for Ganyu yesterday.”

Keqing wasn’t surprised that Ningguang knew about it, though she wasn’t expecting her to suddenly ask her about it. “Oh, yeah that’s correct. I thought that she deserved a proper day off since it was her birthday and she always works hard, you know?” 

“I see, in that case you could have asked me to hand off her work to other people, instead of doing all of it yourself.”

Keqing knew this, but this was her gift to Ganyu. “Well, I didn’t just want to hand off all the work to other people, it was my idea after all. Plus, I really didn’t mind.” 

“I suppose I can understand that, I do think that was very kind of you to arrange this for her and I’m sure that she appreciates it as well.” 

“I hope she does.” Keqing figures that she should probably head back to her office before Ningguang notices the slight smile that was on her face, if she hadn’t noticed already. “I’ll head back to my work then.”

Ningguang nods and lets her go.

Still a bit embarrassed by Ningguangs comments, Keqing makes her way back to her office ready to crawl back behind her desk. As she bridges the gap between the staircase and the entrance to her office, a hand gently taps on her shoulder. 

“Uh, Keqing, do you have a moment?” A soft and familiar voice asks and Keqing turns to meet Ganyu’s gaze. 

“Oh, yeah. What's up? I hope your birthday was nice.” Keqing tries to not make her nervousness show, to avoid too many questions.

Ganyu gives her a bright smile, one that seemed more genuine than the others. “It was great! I was able to visit Cloud Retainer and the other Adepti joined us as well.”

“I’m happy that you enjoyed it.” Something Keqing probably didn’t need to clarify with the wide smile now growing on her face.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Keqing could see her face turn a slight red. “I wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me, I really like it.” 

If Keqing wasn't blushing before, she definitely was now. “It was nothing, I honestly didn’t know what you liked, but I ran into Xiangling who gave me some suggestions.” She noticed herself fidgeting with her hands. “I saw this and it made me think of you, so...” 

Ganyu was silent for a moment, the smile on her face growing even wider. “Well, I'll be sure to thank her as well if I see her.” 

They stood there, in the Jade Chamber, suspended a kilometer or two above the harbor. Both of them smiling with genuine happiness, neither of them knowing what to say to break the silence that was now becoming slightly awkward.

“Uh, I should uh-” Keqing said while gesturing towards her office.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too…” Ganyu quickly said.

Keqing walked a few steps towards her office. “Uhm, well, bye then.” She gave her a quick wave.

“Bye.” Ganyu smiled.

[tinatribeca]

The Situationship Guy Prayer

So 3 weeks ago I made a post about the situationship guy: How he came back into my life and I wasn't sure what would come of it, how of course he wanted to come over but I couldn't allow it because I knew it would hurt me.

I left out some vital information that I never want to forget and decided to write tonight: because something happened prior to us meeting that made me realize how my relationship with God never ceases to amaze me... How for a very long time I've spoken to God and have seen the signs of him listening. But today I decided I need to write this down to remember specifics. I'll share what happened:

The week before my date with situationship guy I said a very specific prayer. I spoke to God and said "God, if this man is not the one for me show me an orange car."

I spent the week walking around Brooklyn/Manhattan and not seeing anything. I started thinking well, I haven't seen the car so maybe it is meant to be. Maybe he came back into my life because it's the right time. Maybe this will become more than what it was before.

The day of the date I went into Manhattan to run some errands. I left the train station and as I walked up the street, I saw it. Driving in my direction was a bright orange car.

I was supposed to see him that night.

I knew I was meeting him later, I had my confirmation. I knew now... This guy is not the one.

Coincidence? I questioned it. Yes, I questioned God after seeing it knowing he waited until the day I was supposed to go on this date to show me an orange car.

I went on the date anyway. Situationship guy told me word for word he wasn't looking for something serious. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I even gave him grace when he didn't care to text me often, or at all. I allowed the inconsistency knowing it was bothering me.

I found myself falling into the same routine I fell in before:

Believing in the potential even though I knew it felt wrong, things weren't the same, I saw the orange car. Something wasn't right. A lot of things were not right.

We spoke on and off, he became distant and one day I decided to text him to ask if we were good. Something along the lines of "hey are we good, haven't really heard from you its been a few weeks"

He replied within a few hours: Yeah we're good how's your day going rah rah, he was picking up where we left off... Knowing the communication just wasn't consistent. Wasn't meeting my expectations. Yet here he was acting like everything was fine.

We dated. We weren't just two people that hooked up. A situationship means we had everything except the titles that come with a relationship. We had everything except the words I love you. But I knew what he was capable of: I knew he was capable of consistency. The bare minimum. Yet, for whatever reason... he wasn't giving me that.

I stared at the text for a while. I left my job in midtown to go on my lunch break and instantly stopped in my tracks.

Parked in front of the building was an orange car.

I never responded to the text. Part of me was spooked. Like, okay God I see it. I hear you. I could feel God saying:

Well, I told you twice. Do you need to see another one?

As much as I was scared, I was also hit with a feeling of awe. God was speaking to me in a way he used to, in a way where I knew deep down lately I wasn't hearing his voice anymore. I felt like I used see him working in my life all the time, especially when I first came to my faith. As I had gotten older I became not so sure. I was living my life wondering what God was trying to tell me. I was confused, I even went back to church thinking: I used to be so much more in tune with my spirit.

This nugget made me realize that maybe God has been trying to reach me but maybe I just haven't been trying to reach him.

A gift. A nod from the highest power.

I realized to pray "If he isn't the one..." is to mean maybe deep down I wasn't sure. God not only gave me confirmation but made me realize, to receive a head nod/signal is a gift.

And I could never take that lightly.

So I never replied to the text, I never will.

And, life goes on.

[peachyfnaf]

18 whole years, huh?

18 whole years of existing on this shitty planet filled with shitty things and shitty people.

18 whole years of existing on this beautiful planet filled with wonderful things and beautiful people.

i am.

terrified.

i don't like my birthday. i hate it, actually. not only does it mark a point in time every year where i have to be around the ""family"" that i don't really care about or even like; but to me, the passage of time is a terrifying- if not the most terrifying thing- and now i'm an adult. gags. i am an adult in the eyes of society. i am a person who can own a house on their own, get any job, start a family, have kids.

that is terrifying.

i feel like i haven't really changed much since i turned 15. i mean, i've gotten more mature, that's a fact. but i feel just as unprepared to grow up now as i was then. i don't know how to drive. i don't know how to do taxes. i've never had a job. i literally got my first debit card like a month ago and i've still yet to use it.

so yeah i'm fucking scared!!!!! i feel like the second i take a step out into "adulting" i'm going to blow up from lasers in the sky shooting me down!!!!!!!!!!

but. (yes there's a "but", bare with me)

but, i still want to do it.

i want to grow up. i want to get a stable enough income doing art where i'm able to get out of this fucking house and move in with someone i love. i want to cut off all the horrible people in my life, and get away from them. i want to be able to walk around my own house without having to mask. i want to be able to fill up the walls with anime posters and buy merch of all my hyperfixations without being scolded for "wasting money" or "acting like a child".

and now, i'm one step closer to being able to do that, just because i was able to convince myself to survive this long.

am i gonna do all that right away?? oh-ho-hooo hell no. i still have no fucking clue what im doing, and i don't even have the option to yet cause. mr. krabs voice. money.

BUT. but, it's actually possible now. it's not just the dreams and ideals of some scared little girl wishing she could be anywhere but here. it's something i can actually do, if i bust my ass to do it.

and if you've happened to read this far, first off, tf you doing here? second off, thank you. thanks for acknowledging i exist, on this app full of millions of people, that you downloaded on this planet of 8 billion people. i appreciate you more than you know.

i am also going to use this yap and ramble and hide this wayyy at the bottom, so that i can be less worried n embarrassed about it being seen, but i've made a lot of friends in the past year the sams fandom that i never expected to make. some of them were literally people i idolized, and now we chat in discord dm's all the time. i still can't wrap my head around it.

if you see your name here, know that in some way shape or form, you've made me smile when i thought about your existence. some of you i know pretty well, and some of you i wish i could get to know more, but im a pissbaby with anxiety who cant initiate conversation fjkhsdf

drew. star. mothy. creesa. juno. sunny. dana. ceph. ken. sam.

polaris. alex. haven.

(those last 3 are separated because they're the names of people who i've actually stopped crying before over cause they said hi to me or some shit dfjkhsdf)

and THERE'S PROBABLY A LOT MORE PEOPLE I'M MISSING BECAUSE WRITING THIS OUT MADE ME TEAR UP SO NOW MY MINDS A BOWL OF SOUP. BUT IF WE'RE FRIENDS AND YOUR NAMES NOT ON HERE IT'S NOT BC I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU, IT'S BECAUSE I'M A DUMBASS DFSJKHSDF

aaand this is long enough, dear lord.

so yeah. i'm 18, i'm scared, but i'm alive, and i love my friends. and i think that's pretty neat.

let's see if i can reblog this post again when i turn 19 with some good news, yeah?

yeah.

(and yes, future me, in case we forget we did actually draw a celebratory piece this year. yippee to us.)

okaysoitisntactuallymybirthdayuntillike40minutesfromnowbutimgoingtobedso

Today is the day I first escaped the cold, cruel clutches of the First Spinjitzu Master and I've been making it EVERYONE'S problem ever since!!! I have no intent of stopping, either, I assure you. <3<3<3

[amaya-writes]

hi!

if you have time do you think you can make a L from death note scenario where you teach him how to kiss? that’ll be great! thanks :))

Notes: okay first off this request was so cute! And I wanted to write it earlier but y'know life lol but yeah I was super excited for this one

Warnings: n/a, just pure fluff

Characters involved: L

Gender-neutral reader, you/yours

The office was consumed with a peaceful silence as you lounged on the sofa, watching as L shuffled his gaze across the sheets of paper and monitors before him, occasionally letting out a small contemplative hum or clinking his spoon against the ceramic plate his cake sat on.

The two of you had been like that for quite some time, with L working away while you did as you pleased, waiting for him to finish.

This certainly wasn't the first time you had spent your afternoon like this, however, something about this time seemed different. Almost off even.

Like L was different.

The thought had you glancing up in your partner's direction, coincidentally catching him just as he turned to look at you.

"Something's bothering you."

It was more of a statement than a question, but L still chose to respond as he completely spun his chair to face you.

"I wouldn't say bothering, no. But I have found myself contemplating something for the past couple of days."

"And what would that be?"

L's personality seemed to do a complete 360 at your question, with his usual self-assured demeanour being replaced with a more hesitant one that wasn't quite like him.

Almost as if he was contemplating whether or not to reply truthfully.

However, he seemed to finally give in to his curiosity and eventually voiced his concerns.

"As a couple, I have come to understand that there are some things people in relationships normally do, such as kissing."

"And?"

"And I can't help but wonder why we haven't done it yet."

You didn't know why you felt so surprised at his bluntness, after all, you had gotten used to L's tendency to speak his mind with no filter over the past month or so.

Yet somehow you found yourself feeling slightly flustered even as you replied.

"Come here."

He lingered beside his desk for a moment or two before rolling his chair towards the sofa, only coming to a stop once he was directly in front of you.

However, you were quick to tug him closer to you, causing his legs to drop to the ground so that he could lean down to your level.

"If you wanted to kiss that badly, you could have just asked."

L seemed to get a little flustered at your comment, with a light blush dusting his cheeks as he noticed the way you shifted so you could easily lean into him.

"Think of it as more...research based. I would like to learn how to kiss rather than just kiss."

"Oh yeah? Well-"

You couldn't help the smile that formed across your lips as you leaned in to have your foreheads touch, noticing how L turned impossibly redder at your proximity.

"-I'm happy to help you out."

You finally sealed your lips with his as you spoke, softly tugging on his bottom lip as you guided L through the kiss.

Your hand almost automatically moved to tangle in his hair as you tugged him closer to you, with the action prompting L to rest his hand right below your jawline as he slowly began experimenting with the kiss.

He seemed to get the hang of it after the first few pecks, choosing to break away for a quick second before leaning back in for another kiss, this time with him taking the lead.

His kisses tasted of the strawberry cake he had been munching on, with the sweet flavour only adding to the soft way he caressed his lips against yours.

L was quite the natural when it came to kissing, something you shouldn't have been surprised by considering your partner was a certified genius and a quick learner.

However, as his kisses got bolder and his other hand dropped to your waist, you found that it was you who had to pull away before you got too flustered.

"So, did that suffice your research?"

L let out a contemplative hum at your question, moving his chair back and forth for a moment or two before he finally stopped and returned to his previous position, this time leaning a lot closer than before.

"Hmm, I think I need a little more to go off of. For research purposes, of course."

He might have had his signature detective face on as he spoke, but you couldn't help but feel like L had some ulterior motives, however, you were more than happy to oblige.

After all, it wasn't every day you got to teach the world's best detective how to kiss.

[thesunmeltedthegrayaway]

The Twin Snakes Chapter 1: Daniel Larusso x OC

ANY IMAGES, GIFS, And Karate Kid Characters used in this series DO NOT belong to me.

Certain plot points will be altered...

Warning: I did write Sid into this story so... yeah. He's going to be mentioned a lot lol.

Chapter 1: Jade Meets Daniel

I was woken up by a hard and unrelenting knock on my door. It was something I had grown accustomed to ever since mom had met our stepfather Sid.

"Alright, I'm up!" I yelled, the pounding on the door was beginning to give me a headache.

"Watch yourself Jade before I give you something to yell about!" My stepfather yelled back.

His booming footsteps echoed down the hallway probably going to give my brother the same wake-up call. I didn't dare lay back down, I instead slinked out of bed and hurriedly got ready so I could get out of the house as quickly as possible.

I ran down the steps, tripping over the last few. I jogged into the kitchen to grab something quick and then get out the door.

"Morning mom," I greeted breathlessly.

"Morning Jade, you look nice."

"Thanks, I uh gotta get going," I replied.

"What? But you haven't even had breakfast yet." Mom argued.

I began to back out of the kitchen. "I know but, Ali is expecting me down at the beach and-" I bumped into a body, a hard hand smacked itself on my shoulder making me wince.

"Sit down," Sid ordered.

I wasn't going to argue with him so, I listened to his request. Johnny sat across from me looking just as reluctant as I felt. He had pulled on the tiny headphones his walkman came with. A slight whisper of the music he was listening to echoed distantly toward

"Smart move." I mouthed.

"Good morning honey," My mother greeted Sid in her usual lovesick tone. Sid smirked at her deviously before pulling her closer to him. His hands roughly groped at her making my face twist in disgust. My face of disgust dropped quickly once I saw his focus had shifted off of her to us. He slowly walked around the room, he stopped behind Johnny and just stared at him for a second. Before he suddenly whipped his hand back and smacked it against Johnny's head.

"Take off the headphones shithead."

I could tell Johnny had gotten pissed off but he bit back the urge to smack Sid back. Sid then sat at the head of the table, Johnny and I looked at him just waiting for him to speak so we could get the fuck out of here.

"Alright listen, if you two, take a step out of line this school year. I'm gonna lose it." Sid always said stuff like that to try and intimidate us. It was his go-to.

"We know sir." Johnny and I said in unison. I fought the urge to roll my eyes... he always said the same thing at the beginning of the school year.

"And I don't want to hear you nag me about signing you up for karate classes either Jade."

"I wasn't going to, I get it you don't think it's something a girl should do," I said blankly.

I pushed around my food with my fork trying not to focus on the annoyance that was slowly rising. There were countless times I wanted to tell him his ideologies were completely tasteless.

"Really, you're not gonna ask me?" Sid asked, his voice laced with humor.

"Nope."

Here he goes again, always trying to start a fight. He'd always want Johnny or me to get pissed off at him first so he felt like he had a right to be an asshole.

He scoffed before sitting back, it was like he was in disbelief I didn't argue with him.

"Can I go now, mom? I really have to meet up with Ali and Susan."

She gave me a nervous look before saying. "Ask your father."

"Can I?" I asked turning my head over to Sid.

He groaned out in annoyance it was as if I asked him to do something strenuous. "Fine, get the hell out of here already."

"Thank you," I said in relief, I pushed myself out of the chair and eagerly left the kitchen. I ran back upstairs to my walkman since I planned on using my bike today. As I walked back downstairs I heard the voices of my mother and stepfather echoing to me.

"Laura, I'm tellin' you, that girl is becoming a real bitch."

Ah, his next trick... talking about me behind my back.

"Oh Sid lay off her, it's the last day of summer vacation she just wants to be around her friends. Johnny's going to be heading out soon too."

"She gets her attitude from you, you know that right?" He asked completely ignoring her previous statement.

Mom sighed before replying. "Yes dear, I know."

I heard a dining chair screech across the floor. A low, flirtatious chuckle could be heard in the room.

"But, I trained that attitude out of you. Maybe she'll find someone to get it out of her too. I don't know though, with the way she's dressed. She ain't going to find anyone when she looks as cheap as she does now."

I didn't want to hear his voice anymore, I walked to the door slamming it behind me. I quickly made my way over to my bicycle, I peddled as hard as I could. I tried to calm myself down, I didn't want to shed a tear due to the vile words that the evil man spoke. But even despite the music I was playing they began to leak through the dam I built.

"I will never be with a man like him, I will never become as subservient as my mother. I don't care how much money a man might give me. I will never prioritize money a man gives me over any kids I may have." I muttered tearfully to myself.

I would never do that to a kid...

~~~ It took a bit to bike down to the beach, but I didn't mind. The time gave me an opportunity to calm myself down. Ali and Susan were just setting up when they saw me. Excited smiles made their way onto their faces. Ali lifted her hand up in the air to wave me over. Her wrist was still adorned with the pink jelly bracelet my brother had given her for valentines day a few months back.

As I walked down to join them I saw a lot of familiar people running around. Of course, there was Ali and Susan but there was also a boy that I shared the same biology class with last year, Freddy. He had a group of friends with him as well but, I couldn't help but notice one I hadn't seen before.

He was tall, had tanned skin, dark black hair, and a cheerful smile. In the midst of my observations of the beach, I was suddenly hit was a force to my chest. I groaned and fell down to the ground, a soccer ball revealed itself as the culprit of my discomfort. I could hear some people laughing at my crumpled state on the ground.

"Oh god, I-I am so sorry." A nervous voice stuttered out.

I brushed my hair back, my eyes locked with a pair of dark brown ones. "I-it's fine, I'm sure you didn't mean to." 

He stuck a hand out to help me up. I of course took the offer...

"T-thanks." I brushed the access sand off my clothes trying to look a little more presentable from earlier. "You got one hell of a kick."

"I'm really sorry..." The boy said in a guilty tone again.

"It's fine I'll live." I decided to change the subject in hopes of making him feel better. "You new around here? I don't think I've seen you around before."

"Oh yeah, I just moved down here from Newark yesterday actually. I'm Daniel, Daniel Larusso." He stuck a hand out as if he was in a business meeting.

"Nice to meet you, Daniel, I'm Jade Lawrence."

I took his hand shaking it slightly before releasing it. We smile at one another just staring into each others eyes. It would've felt awkward if this was happening with anyone else but, for some reason, it just felt natural.

"Aye, Larusso's got moves!" Someone shouted from afar. Daniel's head whipped over to where the voice was echoing from. His eyes widened in embarrassment, his posture looked timid and uncomfortable.

"You should go back over to your friends," I said as I picked up the soccer ball that was near my feet. "You guys were in the middle of a game." I tossed the ball back over to him.

"Y-yeah I should... s-sorry again."

"Don't worry about it," I said as I walked away to join Ali and the others at their spot.

~~~

"Aww, that so sweet, isn't it Jade?" Susan asked me in awe.

Ali was telling us about the date she had been on with Johnny the night before.

"It would be sweet if it wasn't her with my brother." Ali laughed and pushed me playfully. "But since it is my brother I am thoroughly repulsed."

"Oh shut up and take your marshmallow," Ali ordered in faux annoyance.

Ali's eyes looked behind me, her small smile growing wider at whatever she was looking at. She nudged my ribs making me wince back.

"I think the new kid has a thing for you, Jade," Ali said teasingly.

"Yeah right," I muttered skeptically, I winced at the burn I got from my roasted marshmallow.

"I don't think he's taken his eyes off you since the second he sat down over there," Susan added making Ali laugh.

"Oh please, I'm sure he isn't-" I paused as I looked across from me, Daniel sat there looking over me nervously. His friends were all talking to him as if they were trying to convince him to do something.

"He isn't what, Jade?" Susan asked teasingly.

"Oh shut up..." A soft "plop" noise made me jump, the soccer ball that had hit me earlier rested near the blanket Ali had laid down. I smirked and picked up the ball when I saw Daniel walking over toward me.

"Lose something?" I asked as I tossed the ball up in the air before catching it.

"Yeah, I hope we're not bothering you..."

"You aren't don't worry," I tossed the ball up into the air again. "Hey, how do you juggle?" I asked as I handed him the ball.

"It's pretty easy. You start on the knee." He explained as he bent one of his legs. "You just go one. One at a time. Then you try two. One, two." 

He began juggling the ball making it look so easy. "And then three and four... You try it." He bounced the ball back into my hands.

I attempted to bounce it, I could only do it one time due to me losing my balance.

"Good!" He said cheerfully making me smile shyly at him.

"How do I do more than one?"

"You just gotta try to keep your balance, here just..." Daniel got behind me as I began to juggle the ball again I had juggled it twice when I suddenly lost my balance making me fall back. Daniel's hands ended up holding onto my sides to cushion the fall.

"Sorry," I said with a laugh turning my head to look at him.

I could hear the familiar roar of my brother's motorcycle in the distance. I didn't think much of it, I just figured he would hang out with Ali and leave me be.

That was a funny thought... it really was.

"Hey! Get off my sister you weirdo!" Johnny shouted out.

"Uh oh," I muttered as I quickly got up making Daniel look at me in concern.

"What's wrong?"

"My brother is a little overprotective... Johnny cool it everything's fine!"

That only seemed to agitate him more, by the time he and the rest of our friends walked toward us his face was red with anger.

"Jade get away from him."

I scoffed at Johnny's order before responding. "You don't get to tell me what to do, I can hang with whoever I wanted."

"Oh don't get all-"

"No don't you get all pissy with me!" I interjected.

"Jade just-" He grabbed my arm yanking me toward him. "Get over here already."

"Ow." I hissed out, the pressure on my arm felt bruising.

"Hey get off of her, you're hurting her." Daniel jumped in.

Oh shit...

"Daniel it's fine," I said quickly wanting to diffuse the situation before it escalated.

"Stay out of this punk." Johnny hissed out as he pushed me toward Ali.

"Are you okay Jade?" He asked ignoring Johnny's statement.

"Y-yeah I'm fine."

"Are you deaf, stay out of this runt!"

"No," Daniel replied in disbelief.

"No?" Johnny laughed and turned as if he was going to walk away but suddenly he pushed Daniel down on the sand making him grunt. Daniel got up and tried to charge after him but he got tripped twice by Johnny.

"Johnny stop it!" I ordered tensely.

"I didn't do anything," Johnny answered innocently.

Daniel at this had gotten back up, he got into a fighting stance of some kind. Johnny simply mocked him making Daniel angrier. He then spun around giving Daniel a nasty-looking kick to his stomach.

"Stop it! He didn't do anything! I fell on him!" I yelled out referring to the position Johnny found us in. Ali was holding me back preventing me from stepping in.

Johnny turned to me, "Bullshit!" He hissed out.

When he turned back around to focus his attention back on Daniel. He was punched right on the nose, blood slowly trickled down his face.

Damn it... I really liked this boy too.

"C'mon man bring it!" Daniel challenged looking fired up from the punch he threw.

"You're done man... no mercy... no mercy."

In quick succession he kicked Daniel twice on his sides making him hunch over, he then punched him in the face making him fall face-first into the sand.

He didn't get up after that.

I finally managed to get out of Ali's grip. I pushed Johnny with all my might making him stumble back. I began to beat him on the chest in fury.

"Why, why in the hell do you always gotta fight!? Huh? Answer me!" I huffed out.

Johnny stared at me blankly before walking off. His friends followed him they all got on their bikes and drove off making sure to splash sand in Daniel's face. I turned my attention back over to Daniel who was struggling to catch his breath. I knelt down onto the sand and gently patted his back.

"Oh god I am so sorry... are you okay?"

"I'm fine just give me a minute." He replied, he struggled to get the words out. "I'll be alright just leave me alone." I could tell he was embarrassed, he didn't want anyone else to mess with him.

"Ali, could you take my bike back to your place and bring it down to school tomorrow? I am not leaving him here like this."

She nodded before walking to where my bike was, Susan followed closely behind her.

"Jade just-" Daniel started breathlessly.

"Daniel, I am not leaving you here... look it makes you feel better you can be pissed off at me on the walk to the gas station near here. You need ice, your eye looks really bad."

To be continued...

[niksixx]

Plus One

FINALLY!!! After a few months’ hiatus, I am proud to announce the ending of Plus One. It has been a pleasure writing this for you. Please enjoy part 7, and don’t forget to leave feedback. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pia’s POV

I take one look at Josh and Jackie, and I can feel the love on every level. It’s the kind of love that can make you shake with envy and question whether everyone can find it.

And when they kiss for the first time as husband and wife, the church erupts into applause from the guests, hoots and hollers from the wedding party. There’s a few tears sliding down the apples of my cheeks and before I can flick them away with my finger, I feel the gentle touch and warmth from Nikki’s finger brushing away the salty tears. He gives me a small smile before turning his attention back to the bride and groom.

He hasn’t spoken much to me today despite being my plus one to my own cousin’s wedding. I question whether he’s just in a mood, knowing I haven't done anything to cause this distance between us. It’s Josh and Jackie’s day after all. I don’t want to be preoccupied with my own drama, if that’s even what you could call it.

The reception hall gleams with silver, white, and gold for their Christmas wedding, and it looks like something out of a Hallmark movie. Cocktail hour, luckily, isn’t as awkward as I’d imagined it would be. I took the time to introduce Nikki to my distant relatives and close family, and he managed to charm each person he met. Whether his hand was entwined with mine or lightly resting on the small of my back, he sold our relationship, especially to Aunt Rita, who made Nikki promise her a dance.

We made small conversation at dinner, not as much as I would have liked. There was definitely something going on with Nikki, and I vowed to get to the bottom of it before the night ended. Even with his hand resting on my inner thigh under the table, I wasn’t satisfied.

After dancing with Aunt Rita, Nikki had found me and guided me to the dance floor. With his hands linked around my waist, my own entwined around his neck, we slowly swayed to the song. I should have kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the feeling of being safely tucked in Nikki’s arms, but the words came out before they’d registered in my brain.

“Are we okay?”

I wasn’t surprised by the confusion on his face. It was clear he didn’t want me to know something was wrong, so the confusion was quickly replaced by a look of neutrality. “Is there a reason we shouldn’t be?”

For some reason, I can’t look him in the eye. “Something is off with you, Nikki. You’ve barely spoken to me today. Actually, forget today. The past few months have been more awkward between us than anything I can remember, starting after Janielle’s party. So, I’m asking you, are we okay?”

“Pia--.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Pia,” Nikki says firmly, fingers digging into my back to grab my attention. His eyes bore into mine, and for only a split second my breath is caught in my throat. “Not now. Please.”

My jaw ticks angrily, and with as much subtlety as I can master, I break away from Nikki’s hold and excuse myself from the reception. Frustrated tears cloud my vision as I quickly race outside the reception venue into the dark night.

“Pia.” Heavy footsteps chase after me.

I bite my tongue and keep walking, not willing myself to answer him.

“Pia!”

“Fuck you!”

It stuns us both. Nikki retracts, mouth pressed together in a hard, thin line. My chest heaves with every strangled breath, and I will myself not to let the tears fall. There’s no chance I’ll let Nikki see me weak.

“What is your problem?” Nikki suddenly asks defensively.

“My problem?” I spit, crossing my arms. I look like a child, feel like a child, but hell if I’m not the angriest I’ve been in a long time. “My problem is that I don’t know what your problem is. For months, you’ve barely said a word to me. And then I confront you about it, and you have the nerve to try and shut me up?”

His jaw ticks, mirroring my anger. “I have a lot to say, but I don’t know where to start and I don’t want to do this here.” He grabs my hand and pulls me with him. I want to protest, but I’m finally getting some type of answer from him, so it’s best I keep my mouth shut.

The walk feels like forever, but when I finally glance up from my shoes, my brows furrow. We’re right smack in the middle of the garden behind the reception hall. It’s brightly lit and quiet with the exception of the soft drops from the fountain. It’s an oddly romantic setting for a somewhat hostile situation.

And he hasn’t let go of my hand yet. In fact, his grasp seems to have gotten tighter. Not that I mind. It’s the first genuine gesture he’s shown in weeks.

“Nikki, what are we doing here? I want to go inside.”

“Not yet,” he says softly, eyes dodging my gaze. “Just...not yet. I have so much going on inside my head right now, and there’s no starting point. Just scrambled thoughts that don’t make any damn sense to me.”

I sigh, pursing my lips together. “Then start with the most important thought.”

No hesitation, just honesty. “I’m in love with you.”

My spine straightens. Blood rushes to my cheeks, my ears, all the while my brain fails to process the words. “I--You...what?”

He laughs a little, dropping his hand from mine. It’s not followed by anything else, just silence. He stares at me instead, hoping I’ll say something, or do something, but the only thing I can do is channel all my pent up feelings into strength, and before either one of us realizes it, Nikki flies backward into the fountain.

I’m dazed myself, looking from one outstretched arm to the other as Nikki resurfaces from the icy water. He stands, teetering a bit, before flicking his hair from his eyes. “Part of me thinks I deserve that.” There’s a wicked gleam in his eyes. “And the other part thinks you’re entirely too dry.”

The cold water sloshes over me as I’m pulled into the fountain. I flail my arms wildly when I’m met with the cool December air, and I manage to push myself to a stand. Fists balled, I use my knuckles to wipe my eyes, no doubt resembling a drenched raccoon. “I could kill you!”

“You started it!” Nikki retorts, throwing his arms in the air. It’s the truth, so I say nothing back. All I can do is stare, and when I stare long enough, a smile breaks through. And a laugh falls from Nikki’s grin, and soon we’re laughing at each other, laughing at this fucked up situation we’ve found ourselves in.

And when the energy between us settles into calmness, I speak. “I remember the moment when I first knew I was in love with you.” Nikki’s eyes narrow, daring me to go on. “Junior year. When I first started making my own lipstick. You sat with me for hours and let me try them on you.”

The corners of his lips tilt slightly at the memory. “The purple one stained my mouth for days.”

I cringe. “Yeah, not my best formula. Sorry about that.”

Nikki laughs, and then it’s silent all over again. I tug my lip between my teeth anxiously. I wait and wait and wait for him to say something. Minutes later when I turn to step out of the fountain, I hear a strangled voice. “We should have been together from the start.”

“You never gave me a chance, Nikki.” I say, hurt. “And to this day, I don’t understand why. What did Charlotte, Viv, and Amanda have that I didn’t? What is so wrong with me that I wasn’t worthy of your love?”

He closes the space between us, chest just inches from mine as his hands cup my cheeks. “There has never been a damn thing wrong with you. I never thought I was worthy of you, so I settled for less. We come from two different worlds P, and I’ve always known you deserve everything good in this life, but I don’t know if I am capable of being the man that gives it to you.”

I reach out to hold his cheeks instinctively. He relaxes under my touch, but he can’t look at me. “It doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he answers defeatedly.

“Well, you’ve been doing a damn good job over the last few months with the exception of ignoring me for the last few weeks,” I chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. I bite my lip nervously. “I know the fake dating was fake to you. But...it was real for me.”

“It was fake at first,” Nikki says truthfully, hands coming up to his face to cover mine. “And then when I started falling, shit I fell hard. And the only way I knew how to deal with it, was run, hide, and try to ignore what I felt. But I can’t do that anymore. I am in love with you, Pia Jane. I am so in love with every piece of you. And maybe if you’re up for it,” he nudges my nose with his, “We can try again. For real this time.”

We’re still in the fountain, standing in chilly knee deep water in the cold December air, but I can’t feel a thing except the warmth that comes from my heart that is so full of love.  

[julyarchives]

Meant To Be

You didn't think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

→ Pairing: Hongseok x Female Reader

→ Genre: Angst to fluff.

→ Words:  1.7K

→ Contains: very light angst; low key cheating; Unrequited Love

→ A/N: Thank you so much for the anon who requested this story. The writing process flowed so easily that it was really nice writing it. We hope you like it!

When the anxiety was too much to handle, you decided it was time to gather with your friend and ask for her advice.

You've been in a steady relationship for two years, and your boyfriend is not a bad person - you like his company and he's always treated you well. But when he proposed to you last night you couldn't bring yourself to say yes.

"It's not a 'no' either," you told him "I just need some  time to think"

He wasn't too happy about your response, you could see his disappointment, but he agreed on giving you space.

And that's how you end up with your best friend in your living room, drinking mimosas made of the champagne that was supposed to be celebratory from last night.

"What?!" She asked when you showed her the wedding ring resting perfectly intact in the little velvet box. "Why didn't you say yes?!

"You  know me since high school, you can take a guess" you said, sipping your drink

"It just doesn't make sense" she shook her head "you seemed happy with him."

"I am, I guess." You bit your lip, struggling to put your feelings into words "but don't you think it's too soon?"

"If you love him and want to keep the relationship, it's not." She shot straight back. "Do you?"

"He's a nice guy, there's no downside to being with him." You wondered out loud.

"Yes, but do you love him?" She insisted, realizing you were dodging her question.

"I like staying with him"

"The way you are avoiding the question says it all, y/n."

You kept quiet, not really sure how to answer that. She was not wrong, the relationship was good and there was nothing bad about it. Except for that little something that is missing. There weren't butterflies on your stomach when you thought of him. You missed that euphoria of being with someone, that good anxiety before a date where you wonder if he will like your new dress. There wasn't that sparkle.

"What if I say no and regret? I don't want to realize too late that I like him, and end up alone with 12 cats"

"Y/N," put her glass down and straightened her back "you are a wonderful woman and you will not be a crazy cat lady, I'm sure of that. But you can not marry someone you don't love."  She took the ring from your hand and placed it on the coffee table.

She was about to say something else when the doorbell rang, interrupting her.

"Did you order food or something?" You asked her, confused.

"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that Hongseok texted me he's in town and I invited him over because I didn't know your love life was in a crisis?" She smiled a little too sweetly

"You what?!" Your eyes widened "why?!"

"I don't know, I missed hanging out with you two, and he's never in town anymore, so I thought it was a good opportunity for a reunion." She babbled nervously. "Surpriise…?"

The doorbell rang again.

"Okay." You took a deep breath "let's do this."

You stood up and fixed yourself, thinking that you would have dressed up a little better if you knew he was coming. You weren't ready for what you saw when you opened the door.

He was looking way more handsome than you remembered, and the gentle smile that lit up on his face when he saw you threw you off guard

"Y/n, hey" he said shyly.

"Hey!" Your voice came out softer than you intended. You two just stared at each other for a while, not really sure how to proceed "y/f/n told me you were coming, come on in."

You stepped aside to make room for him to go through the door. It's been years since you last saw him, and the awkwardness of it showed a little. He entered and received your friend with an enthusiastic hug.

You watched him, not helping but noticing his strong muscles showing through his shirt as he held her tight.

"I missed you, you little devil." he said to her, his eye smile always so charming, then turned towards you again "I hope I'm not intruding."

"No way," you said promptly "it's good to see you, it's been so long."

"Too long." He said, eyes fixed on yours'.

Your breath got caught in your throat, and you felt your heart beating a little too fast. You definitely weren't ready to see him.

The morning was spent catching up. Mostly your friend asking questions about Hongseok's busy idol life and you listening, but it was a good distraction to all of your current problems. The only issue is that seeing him brought back some past problems that you didn't think you would have to confront again.

Eventually, the drinks ended, and you headed to the kitchen to grab some more, but it was really an excuse to catch a breath. You leaned against the counter and checked your phone, noticing there was a lost call and a voice message to it

" Good morning, beautiful. " Your boyfriend was saying " just reassuring that I'll give you as much time as you need. Are we still up for our lunch date tomorrow? Love you! "

"Is that your fiance?" Hongseok's voice startled you, even though he was soft-spoken "sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine, I just didn't see you coming in" you turned around and got yourself busy making more drinks, but really just hiding your embarrassment.

"I just came to warn you that y/f/n got a call from work and had to leave. She asked me to tell you."

"Oh. Okay." You said, putting things back in the fridge. "Do you want anything else to drink?"

"Nah, is fine." he stepped into the kitchen and leaned on the counter by your side "and I swear I wasn't prying on you. I saw the ring on the coffee table and assumed…"

He didn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah, that." Was all you managed to say.

The room fell awfully quiet.

"I missed you." He blurted, voice so soft that you almost didn't hear it.

You bit your lip again, dreading the words you've been thinking all morning.

"I missed you too." You confessed.

"I swear I'm not trying to break you and your fiance up, but I haven't stopped wondering what we would be like if we had never broken up."

You took a deep breath, not having the guts to admit out loud you've been thinking the same.

"You would have never gotten to fulfill your dream." You said. "You were born to be an idol, and you did what you had to do."

He turned around and held your waist delicately, silently asking permission to hold you. Your hands automatically fell on his shoulders, and the next thing you knew your foreheads were pressed together, both of you having your eyes closed just feeling each other so close.

"Then why do I still feel like there is something missing?" He whispered. You couldn't bring yourself to answer, nor to hold back a single stubborn tear running down your cheek. "You should've been mine, not his."

You two were so close together that you could feel his warm breath hit your face and all you could think of was how much you missed feeling his soft lips against yours, but you had to stop yourself.

"Is not that simple." You said, stepping back. "I have a whole another life now. You have another life. Everything is different"

You turned around, trying to hide your small sniffle and composing yourself.

"You're right." He took a deep breath. "I don't know what's gotten into me, I'm sorry."

At that moment your phone started ringing, the screen lighting up with a picture of you kissing your boyfriend's cheek, with his name right under it. You saw Hongseok noticing it, and you couldn't deny the clench in your heart at the sad expression on his face.

"Anyway, you should take that call and I should get going. I can show myself out. It was good to see you again, y/n"

You froze in place, torn and frozen at the same time. Everything was clear, yet you were so scared of making a decision, but you knew what you had to do. You turned your phone so the screen was facing down and you couldn't see it anymore, and ran towards the front door.

Hongseok was almost closing it behind himself when you arrived.

"I didn't say yes." You said it loud enough to catch his attention, making him stop on his track.

"What?" He turned to face you, stepping into your house again.

"I'm not engaged, I didn't say yes to him." You exclaimed

"You didn't?" The shy smile peeping on his lips was the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

"I couldn't bring myself to accept the proposal. I told him I needed some time to figure myself out and now…" you stepped closer, and he received you in another hug, holding you close to him, but looking into your eyes this time. "I think now it's clear why."

Hongseok didn't say anything. He pulled you into a passionate kiss, you two pouring all the bottled-up feelings, all the need for each other into it. You held each other close, trying to end any space between you two. All you needed and wanted was to be together.

"How is this going to work?" You tried to bring yourself out of the bubble. "We can not do this like it never ended. Though I…" you gulped, gathering courage "I loved you so much"

"I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

You couldn't find words to respond, choosing instead to put your feelings yet again on another kiss. You felt like you were in the clouds and you could spend the rest of the day just kissing him like this.

"We'll make it work." Hongseok didn't seem to be trying to let you go, still holding you tight.

You finally felt like you found the butterflies you were missing.

[karlajoyner]

Edge of Great (Luke Patterson x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so this is my first imagine on tumblr. I know it’s pretty long but my fingers just kept typing.🙃 Definitely let me know if I should make shorter ones or longer ones or even a series! Also let me know if you guys have any requests or plots that I could write and for who! Finally finally let me know if you like it in a first reader POV or if i should try a third person POV! Oh and if I should post them in a book on wattpad or keep the content strictly on tumblr!!!😁 (Ps. I’ll most likely be adding a song to every chapter whether it goes with the chapter or not!) Check out my last post for more information on my writing.

Warnings: None

————

I sat in the studio along with my bandmates tuning my guitar. We were currently waiting on Julie to return from school so we could begin to practice for tonight. Her dad got us a gig playing for a couple of her friends to start a following. Which made a lot of sense when Julie explained it to me. Right after Luke sent me into a frenzie of confusion.

"Hey y/n/n you think you could help me with these lyrics for tonight?" Luke called from the couch. I stood up from my comfortable spot on the chair under the loft and flashed myself onto the spot right next to him.

"Sure Lukey" I said taking his writing journal in my own hands and sitting back to scan over the words.

Y/n- I believe, I believe that we're just one dream

I mumbled hearing Luke start to strum on his six string the melody of the song.

Away from who were mean to be that were standing on the edge of

Y/n, L- Something big something crazy our best days are yet unknown that this moment is ours to own

He joined in.

Y/n- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Great

L- (On the edge of great)

Y/n- Cause we're standing on the edge of

We sang to each other back and forth with smiles plastered on our faces.

Y/n, L- Shout shout. C'mon and let it out, out. C'mon and let it out, out. Don't gotta hide it. Let your colors blind their eyes. Be who you are no compromise. Just shout, shout. C'mon and let it out

We paused running out of lyrics. My mind racing searching for the next line.

Y/n- What doesn't kill you makes you feel alive

I sang softly as he leaned in closer with a smirk plastered on his face.

Y/n, L- Ooh-oh. I believe, I believe that we're just one dream. Away from who we're meant to be. That we're standing on the edge of great

We finished out of breath. My smile grew as Alex and Reggie began to clap.

"That was great"

"Yeah we’re gonna rock Julie's garage tonight" Reggie said making it sound less cool than it actually was.

"Definitely" Luke said standing up.

"Thanks for the help boss" He said sending me a smile.

"Anytime" I grinned before turning around to go take my previous seat to finish tuning my guitar.

"I'm gonna go find Julie and let her know we've got the song ready for tonight thanks to our amazing rhythm guitarist"

"Sounds like a plan" Alex said.

"Don't forget to mention how beautiful I am as well" I teased earning a smirk from Luke.

"I never do baby" He winked at me before disappearing. A small laugh escaped my lips before going back to my guitar.

"So" Alex said catching my attention.

"So?" I repeated looking up at the drummer boy.

"So you and Luke?"

"Me and Luke what?"

"You and Luke are like in love each other"

"We are not. Well I'm not. Can't say the same about pretty boy" I said teasingly.

"Yeah sure you're not. Reggie back me up here. Please tell your best friend that she's totally in love with Luke"

"You're totally in love Luke"

"I am not. Reggie your supposed to have my back"

"And I will. Once you admit you have a thing for Luke" He said smirking at me. I glared at the two boys in front of me who weren't as oblivious as I had thought they were.

"Okay so I have a thing for Luke. So what?"

"So you should tell him"

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"So he can admit he's in love with you too"

"And why would he do that when he's clearly not"

"Seriously? Didn't you see the way he was looking at you when you were singing? It looked like Reggie when he sees pizza"

"Pizza?" Reggie perked up excitedly. "There no pizza" Alex said a frown appearing on the bassist face.

"Just because looks at me a certain way does not mean he loves me"

"Really because last time I checked constantly touching each other means you like each other, constantly flirting means you like each other, and when was the last time you wore one of your own shirts" Alex said pointing at my outfit. I sunk back into my seat. He was right about everything down to one of the many shirts Luke had let me have.

"Come on y/n just admit it after we died something more changed with you two. We all see it. Even Reggie sees it and that's saying something"

"Yeah. So it's not like he's ever gonna say anything. So why should I put myself out there to possibly get rejected and heartbroken by my best friend? I mean how do we even know for sure if he's in love with me. Or even likes me for that matter?"

"We don't. Yet" Alex said smirking.

"Oh that's his thinking face. I haven't seen that since 94" Reggie said backing up slightly.

"I think we're in trouble"

It had been a couple hours after Julie had gotten out of school. Yet her or Luke were nowhere to be found. I groaned walking out of the bathroom in the back of the studio.

"Seriously Alex. This is your great idea"

"No my great idea is to have you and Reggie flirt like there's no tomorrow. This is just small details" He said fixing the fit of the flannel on my body. It was Reggie's lucky flannel that took a lot of convincing to get off his body.

"Okay but why'd I have to change my shirt" I said looking down at my own crop top that I hadn't worn in a very long time.

"Because it was Luke's. We need him to think that you don't need his clothes anymore"

"Why did I let you drag me into this?"

"Because deep down you want him to say something about it don't you?"

"Well yeah but-"

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice popped into the garage.

"Luke" I spoke pushing Alex away from me.

"Hey man what happened to practice?" Alex asked casually.

"Julie had some stuff to do after school so I went along. But she's on her way so we should get a few runs in-" His words slowly came to a halt sending me a strange look.

"Isn't that Reggies lucky flannel?"

"Uh yeah. He let me barrow it. For good luck. Here's your shirt back by the way. I don't think I'll need it anymore" I said trying to hand him back the shirt I was wearing previously.

"You know you don't have to give it back. It's yours" His lips simpered.

"I know but Reggie said if I needed to I could just barrow his"

"Oh" was all Luke before taking the shirt out of my hands.

Suddenly the garage door opened and in walked Julie.

"Hey guys" She smiled.

"Ready for tonight?"

"Definitely"

"Flynn's coming over before to help me get ready. Girl time?" Julie asked looking at me.

"I'll be there" I smiled.

"So are we ready to rehearse?"

"Where's Reggie?"

"He went out said he would be back in a bit"

As if on cue the other ghost popped in with a smile on his face.

"Luke" He said his eyes going wide.

"Your back"

"Yeah I am. Who are the flowers for?" Luke asked eyeing the bouquet of roses in his hand.

"They’re for y/n. You know she deserves the best" Reggie said nervously sticking his hand out for me.

"Thanks Reggie" I smiled lightly.

"She also deserves her favorite flowers. Sunflowers in case you were wondering"

"Luke" I scolded him taking the bouquet.

"I think it's a sweet gesture Reggie. Seriously thank you"

"Your welcome" He smiled pulling me into a light hug.

"I think we should rehearse before it gets any later" Alex suggested trying to ease the now very notable tension in the room.

"Sounds good" Julie said awkwardly stepping past Reggie and Luke who were standing a few feet apart. I looked at Alex who gave me a small nod.

"Uh Reggie can you come here for a sec I need your help" I said pulling him away to my guitar stand. I placed strap around my body waiting for the brunette to turn his attention to me.

"Uh sure. Cutie?" He spoke in a questionable tone before looking down at me.

"You need his help with guitar?" Luke asked clearly confused.

"Well yeah"

"But I always help you with guitar" "He offered earlier if I needed help to come to him"

"Yeah. I did that" Reggie said trying to act tough.

"Whatever" Luke scoffed.

I watched as he swung his guitar around his shoulder aggressively. I glanced at Julie who was sending me a confused look so I quickly shrugged my shoulder not knowing what else to do.

It was mere minutes before we were heading out to perform. The tension in the air was now overpowered by excitement.

"I'm so nervous" I said bouncing my leg up and down anxiously.

Suddenly I felt a hand land on it stopping my movements. I looked up to see Luke smiling down at me.

"Don't be nervous your gonna do amazing out there"

"Thanks" I smiled back.

"Yeah. Your always amazing. Did I mention you look beautiful tonight? Wearing my flannel. My lucky flannel" Reggie said with a pestering smile as he swung an arm around my shoulder.

"We get it. It's your flannel" Luke interrupted immediately removing his hand from my leg. I looked at Alex who was stifling a laugh.

"Uh thanks Reg. You look good too"

"Oh I know. And I'm gonna look better singing up there with you. It'll be like old times. You and me. And a microphone"

"You and me. And a microphone" Luke mimicked him. I almost laughed only to be startled by someone walking in.

"Hey guys are you ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be" I spoke. Julie simply nodded her head walking out.

I stood up pacing around as I heard Julie begin the opening notes on the piano outside.

"Hey your gonna do great out there" Luke said stopping me from walking anymore.

"Thanks. You are too. You and Julie have great chemistry"

"Well yeah. But I think we have great chemistry too" He said taking my hands in his.

I finally looked into his eyes see him staring into mine in. A small smile forming on my face.

"Guys!" Alex called knocking us out of our trance. I panicked immediately flashing outside with Luke. Landing beside Reggie with my guitar at hand. Luke only a few feet away in his own place.

J- I believe

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of

Y/n- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

I joined in singing into Reggies microphone beaming with excitement. I scanned the crowd seeing smiles on people faces. This is all we ever wanted.

J- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of great

L- We all make mistakes

But they're just stepping stones

To take us where we wanna go

It's never straight, no

Luke sang sending me a wink before continuing to sing with Julie.

L,J- Sometimes we gotta lean

Lean on someone else

To get a little help

I giggled as Reggie leaned on me. Back to back. Both of us playing our guitars to the same beat.

J- Until we find our way

I believe

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of

Y/n- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

J- Cause we're standing on the edge of great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- Great

All- (On the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of...

J- Shout, shout

C'mon and let it out, out

Don't gotta hide it

Let your colors blind their eyes

Be who you are no compromise

My heart rate picked up. The scene from earlier replaying in my head as Julie sang the next lines. Taking a chance I looked in Luke's direction to see him already looking at me with a grin on his face. I smirked walking over to the piano.

J- And Just shout, shout

C'mon and let it out, out

J, Y/n- What doesn't kill you makes you feel alive

Ooh-oh

J- I believe

Julie sang as Luke and I let off a similar guitar riff making me laugh.

I believe that we're just one dream

Away from who we're meant to be

That we're standing on the edge of great

Making my way over to Luke I let out a giggle as I pulled his beanie down slightly messing up his look. Before making my over back to Reggie. I looked back at the brunette to see him grinning from ear to ear.

All- Something big, something crazy

Our best days are yet unknown

That this moment is ours to own

Cause we're standing on the edge of great

(On the edge of great)

J- On the edge of great

All- (Great, on the edge of great) On the edge

All- (Great, on the edge of great)

J- 'Cause we're standing on the edge of...

L- Running from the past

Y/n- Tripping on the now

J- What is lost can be found

It's obvious

Luke, Julie, and I finished singing towards the audience.

Making eye contact with a few kids before flashing out myself back into the garage where Alex and Reggie were already waiting. Adrenaline coursing through our veins as another presence poofed into the room.

"That was amazing!" Luke shouted excitedly.

"I can't believe we just did that. Did you see how pumped they were?" I asked falling back onto the couch besides Reggie.

"Yeah. They loved us!" "Remind me to thank Julie for playing our CD later"

"Tonight it's her garage tomorrow it's- it's clubs, dances, and worldwide tours" Luke said eagerly. Taking the free spot to my left.

"God I wish we could feel like this all the time" I said leaning into Luke.

"Me too y/n/n" He said placing an arm around me. A sudden fake cough erupting from Alex's lips. I looked over to see him staring at me with a look.

"Oh uh- Reggie you were great out there" I complimented the boy sitting up.

"Thanks. You uh- you looked hot" He tried to sound cool but failed miserably.

"You think?"

"Oh yeah- I mean the sweat on your forehead and like the heat and-"

"What are you going on about?" Luke asked confusion plastering itself on his face.

"I think what he means is y/n is attractive. Right Reggie?" Alex asked.

"No, no don't answer for him. Reggie be straight with me do you like y/n or not?" Luke asked standing up.

"Why does it matter if I do or don't?" Reggie questioned standing up as well.

"Because you out of everyone know that I like her so why are you letting her wear your clothes, buying her flowers, and calling her hot. I thought I made it clear she was off limits" Luke said my mouth widening in shock.

"I'm off limits?" I asked looking at him.

"How many people did you make it clear to that I was off limits?" I asked not really wanting an answer I was expecting.

"A few"

"A few? Micheal Brookes?" I asked remembering a guy I began to talk to at the beginning of our senior year who randomly stopped talking to me one day. I watched as his head dipped in a short nod.

"Jacob Miller?" I continued watching his nod once again.

"Grant Dean?" Nod.

"Nick Harper?" Nod.

"Derek Johnson?" Nod.

"Seriously Luke? Your the reason I never had a boyfriend my senior year. To make it worse I died a virgin. You asshole" I shouted standing up. I was fuming at this point. He had no right. And he still did it. My head whipped towards the garage door heading it creak open.

"Hey guys" Julie and Flynn smiled walking it.

"You guys did great out there" Flynn said happily. Julie immediately noticing the tension in the room and the frown upon my lips.

"Are you okay y/n?"

"I don't know why don't you ask Luke?" I spoke before flashing out.

I landed in the only place I could think of. A single tear escaped my eye as I sat on the marquee of the Orpheum. Our dream. His dream. I stared out onto the lit up street of Sunset Boulevard. If he didn't want me seeing anyone he could've said something. For the longest time I wondered why guys were such assholes. It wasn't them. It was Luke. It was always Luke.

"I know your mad" I heard his voice speak from behind me.

"I think I'm beyond mad Luke. How could you?" I asked standing up and turning towards him.

"I came crying to you all those times wondering why guys didn't want me. And-and you made me think that it was all me when it was really you. Telling them to back off. Why? Why would you do this to me?"

"Because-" He was at a loss for words. Looking like a kicked puppy.

"I-I wanted you" He finally spoke up.

"You what?"

"I wanted you" He spoke more confidently.

"I wanted you to myself. I- I every time you came and told me you were talking to someone new it hurt because I know it should've been me who asked you out. Who got the courage to just tell you that I-" He went silent the anger in me evaporating in a matter of seconds.

"That you what?" I asked quietly.

"That I love you. I know I'm late but I can't hold it in anymore. After seeing you and Reggie today I got jealous just like I used to back in high school. I know this'll probably ruin our friendship but I don't want to lose you so I really need you to say something right now before I go insane not hearing your beautiful voice" He finished off finally looking at me. The look in his eyes was as hurt. And I wanted to be mad. But I couldn't be. Not when he just admitted what I had been wanting to hear for so long.

"Your 25 years late. But I think we have an eternity to make up for that" I said his eyebrows flying up in surprise.

"Really?"

"You really think I wanted to wear my own shirt today Patterson? Alex told me that if I kept wearing your clothes I'd only fall deeper in love you" I spoke a smile reaching both our face.

He quickly made his way towards me. Leaning forward until his lips attached themselves onto mine. I giggled as he lifted me in his arms holding me close. Our lips molding perfectly like they were made for each other.

"This isn't real" He whispered putting me down.

"Your mine. God your mine" He mumbled pressing open mouth kisses down my neck before connecting his lips back to mine.

"It's definitely real Lukey"

"I love it when you call me that" He mumbled into my lips.

"Don't get all soft on me now Patterson" I laughed pulling away.

"I'm sorry for what I did before I really am. For making you upset and I'm gonna spend an eternity making it up to you"

"It's okay Luke. It's in the past now. I just would've preferred if you would've not scared away every guy that tried to talk to me"

"I promise I'll never hurt you like that again" He said holding me close by the waist. As I began to suck on his neck to begin leaving a hickey.

"And I promise you won't be a virgin for much longer" He whispered reattaching our lips again.

[the-writers-bookshelf]

For fab Friday! I just started a new WIP (horror/romance) and I am obsessed with the main couple. Their names are Blair and Alex, and I haven't gotten a chance to write much for them yet (I'm only on page 46) but I did get to write a few scenes of them. This is my favorite so far :)

(Sorry it's so long)

It’s two weeks before Halloween, and I’m eighteen years old, frowning at the list of colleges on my laptop. The screen is too bright in my dark room, and there’s no end to the names and choices, and I don’t know if I’m smart enough for any of this. For any of these schools.

“Knock, knock.”

My head snaps up as my laptop screen snaps down. Force of habit. I don’t want my parents to know that I’m looking into college. Not because they wouldn’t let me go, but because I’m not sure I have it in me to disappoint them when I inevitably choose not to go.

The voice came from my window, though, not my door.

When I see him, grinning at me through the glass, I hop up immediately and yank the window open – because being cool is overrated and I’m glad for the distraction. “God, it’s cold out,” I say, pulling him inside. His fingers are chilly when I grab them. They’re always chilly. He has ice water instead of blood, I always say.

“Yeah,” he puffs, sticking one frozen hand under the hem of my shirt so the cold makes me jump.

“Dick!” I laugh.

He grins. “Wasn’t this song in Twilight?”

I pretend to listen to the music coming from my phone speaker, as if I’m not sure. (I am sure.) (It is from Twilight.) Then I shrug. “It’s a good song.”

He snorts and collapses on my bed, uninvited. “Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?” he asks, grabbing one of my pillows and stuffing it under his head.

“I’m team ‘don’t mess up my bed’, actually.”

“Ha-ha.” He looks at my laptop, then gives me an eyebrow. “What were you looking at?”

My pause is probably suspicious, but really, I’m just not sure I want to talk about college again. Not to my genius boyfriend who thinks I can do whatever I set my mind to – because I can’t. Some things just aren’t achievable, and that’s life.

Clearly, his big brain doesn’t automatically go to ‘college applications’ when he sees his boyfriend snapping his laptop shut. He bolts upright, a scandalized look on his face. “Blair Zachary David!”

“Oh, no – I wasn’t—” But before I can even finish my sentence, he’s got the laptop open. I cross my arms and wait for him to look at me. At least if I look mad, he might have the decency not to mention it.

When he does look at me, though, he takes in my frown and my folded arms, and the fact that I’m still standing here instead of crawling into the bed next to him, and he sighs.

“Can I just say one thing?” he asks, closing my computer and pushing it away.

I press my lips together but nod. “One thing.”

“If you do decide to go to college…” he says, enunciating the ‘if’ so I know he isn’t pressuring me. “It won’t change anything.”

I make a face. “Isn’t that what college is supposed to do? Change everything?”

He rolls his eyes and tugs at the bottom of my tee-shirt. “With us, I mean. It won’t change anything about us. We’ll still see each other. It won’t hurt us.”

“I never said it would.” Even as it comes out of my mouth, cold and clammed-up and far too angry, I know I’ve screwed myself. He reads me so well I might as well be one of the millions of books in his room. And that wasn’t exactly subtle.

He tilts his head down and looks at me from the tops of his eyes, like, ‘caught ya.’

“Blair.”

“What.”

“It won’t. It won’t touch us.”

“How do you know?”

He stands up and pulls my shirt again. He’s always doing that, doing these little pestering things. Pokes, and pulls, and touches. He’s all hands, I swear.

“I know,” he says seriously. “Because it’s us. You and me. And nothing touches us, Blair. We’ll be okay.”

I step around him and climb onto the bed, grabbing my phone and scrolling further down the playlist. “Anyway, that’s not why I’m not going,” I mutter. And it’s true. My fears about our relationship are only a drop in the ocean of reasons why I can’t go to school. In a way, I know he’s right about us. We’re time-tested. We’re fireproof.

“Then why not?” he asks, sitting on the floor by my legs.

“You said one thing.”

“Blair, come on…”

I shake my head and look at the ceiling, at the fake popcorn ceiling and the familiar crack that’s been there my entire life. If I look anywhere else, if I look at him, my resolve will crumble and I’ll tell him it’s because I’m not smart enough or confident enough to do this, and we’ll have to go through the whole argument again, and I don’t want to. I don’t want him to look me in the eye and say I’m smart, and talented, and amazing. And I don’t want to see how much he believes it himself.

I can’t go. And that’s that.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I say. “Please.”

He exhales deeply, and then I feel him climbing into the bed and laying down beside me. “Okay,” he says, giving in. (For now.) “Okay.”

“Thanks.” I grab his hand and squeeze it gratefully. Cold fingers.

He rolls over to face me. “Oh. What happened in gym today?” he asks, like he just remembered something. “I wasn’t there, but Cath told me you almost got into a fight?”

Ah, the other thing I don’t want to talk about. It’s like he has a gift for this. “Almost being the operative word.”

“Blair!” He pokes me in the rib. I swat his hand away and rub the spot where his bony, little finger jabbed me.

“What?” I huff. “Nothing happened.”

“Luckily. We’re eighteen, you know. Adults. Fights can be serious shit now.”

“Tell that to Jamie Buck.”

“Jamie Buck?” He wrinkles his nose like he just smelled something rotten. “The homophobe?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Oh. What did he—”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Oh.”

We lay in silence for a while, both of us pensive and frowning at the ceiling. The song changes again. Lana Del Rey. One of her slow ones.

Out of the blue, he blurts out, “I wish I had been there when Jamie opened his dumb mouth.”

I actually laugh. It’s probably rude, but I can’t help it. “What are you going to do, five-foot-five?” I ask, still giggling. “Bite his ankle?”

His mouth falls open in offence. “Et tu, Brute?”

“What?”

“Et tu brute. Julius Caesar?”

“What?”

“Julius Caesar, the—the Roman dictator? Got stabbed like a thousand times—”

“I know who Julius Caesar is.”

“Well, when he was dying, he said ‘et tu, Brute’ to his best friend, Brutus. Who also stabbed him. It means like, ‘even you, Brutus?’ Like, I can’t believe you, of all people, would betray me.’”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How do you even know that?”

He stares at me. “It’s—I don’t know! It’s a thing! Even if it wasn’t a thing, it’s a meme. How do you not know?”

I shove him. “I’m, like, two years behind on memes. You know this about me.”

“That’s because you spend all your time in here, brooding. And anyway, Julius Caesar was stabbed to death, like, two thousand years ago. So…”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.” He pauses. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” But he doesn’t say anything. Not until I turn to look at him. Our noses are almost touching. I wouldn’t even have to move to kiss him.

I’m seriously considering it when he says, “We would be okay, you know. If you decided to go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He kisses my forehead then, and his lips are warm and soft. How can his lips be so warm when his fingers are so cold? “We could be that annoying couple everyone hates but is secretly jealous of. The ones who are always on video calls, even in class, wearing headphones so the professor doesn’t notice.”

“That’ll be easier for me than it will be for you,” I point out. “I wear hoodies every day.”

“My point exactly.”

It hasn’t escaped my notice that we are, most definitely, talking about it again. But I’m looking at him now, at his shaggy hair, and his button nose, and his pink mouth, and my resolve has crumbled. As I knew it would.

“Just think about it,” he asks. “Please?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.”

When he smiles at me, I swear my heart is an electric thing trying to zap its way out of my chest.

HALLOWEEN???

HORROR/ROMANCE??

SIGN ME UP!!! TAKE MY FIRST BORN!!! I'M SO DOWN FOR THIS!! :D

fantastic job!!!!

[toomanyfandoms02]

Kisses // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

This is a request for both @boiled-onionrings and @aberrant-annie ! I ADORED writing this!!!

Summary - Reader is an artist with serious art block. So she decides to kiss her best friend all over and turn it into art.

Word Count - 2.2k

This is based off of THIS gif from @nationgubler

I loved being an artist, but with any career in the arts, there is a time where you have some kind of block.

And I was having artist block, right now.

I sat in my studio, my back laying against the floor of the cold tile. As if the ceiling was going to spark some kind of Vincent Van Gogh idea in my head. I lightly brought my hand to my face, slapping my forehead.

"Come on y/n! There's something in there, anything, anything!" My head lolled to the side in frustration, eyes closed. I let out a loud groan of frustration, very grateful in this moment for choosing the most soundproof room of my apartment to do art. This was out of courtesy of my very kind neighbors. I opened my eyes slowly, hoping that something would come soon so I wasn't so damn angry. That's when I saw it.

The book Matthew had gotten me for my birthday a few months ago, sitting right next to my painting of lips, one of my best selling prints.

"Hmmm." I sat up slowly, contemplating if I should even ask this favor of him, but Matthew really cared about my career. Maybe I was in luck, so I dialed his phone number. He answered within 2 rings.

"Hey y/n, what's up?" He sounded out of breath, making his voice slightly raspy. This caused my heart to beat a bit faster.

"Uh, I have a favor to ask you, are you okay? You sound out of breath." I could hear him huff another deep breath.

"Yeah! I'm on a run in the park right now."

"Oh! Well don't worry about it then, I can save this-"

"No no! What do you need, I'm on my way home." This was honestly the most nerve-wracking thing ever, asking my best friend And someone I'm slowly falling for to do a kind of scandalous pose for a painting for me.

"It's kind of, weird. It involves art. I can't come up with any ideas and this one came into my head, you can totally say no, I won't-"

"Honey, good lord, I'm not gonna judge you, just tell me." He laughed in the end, easing my stress only slightly at the sound of it.

"Alright, it would be a portrait of you from waist up, but, also, I would, ugh. I feel weird about it!" I paused momentarily, sighing into the phone and making a pouty face that he *thankfully* couldn't see. "Then I would put kisses all over you, to like, I don't know."

"Spice it up?"

"Yes."

"I'll be over soon, I'm gonna take a shower. See you soon sunshine!" And that was it. Nearly no hesitation and he agreed to it.

*Why did I worry so much?*

Probably because you like him so much, *dumbass*.

I tidied up my studio as a distraction, waiting for a knock at my door. My wooden easel clicked on the floor as I set it near the big window in the room. I set a stool in front of it for Matthew, facing him towards it for good natural lighting. I plopped a 24x16 canvas onto the easel. My heart nearly jumped from my chest as I heard the knock at my door. I almost slipped running to it.

I opened the door to see a smiling Matthew. He was leaning against my door frame dressed in a white button-down and some regular jeans.

"I don't see you wearing any lipstick, how are you gonna manage putting kisses all over me without it?" He teased with a smirk.

This man really knew how to make my heart stop, it was almost insane how much of an effect he had on me. But I was surprisingly good at hiding it.

"I haven't put it on yet you nerd." I hit his chest lightly, moving out of the doorway so he could come in. "You can still back out if you feel weird about this. And also, this is gonna take a while." I looked up at him nervously. He grabbed my shoulders, looking right into my eyes.

"I love helping you with art, stop thinking you're such a burden." He shook me a little, bringing another smile to my face.

"Fine, go sit on the stool back there and unbutton your shirt a few buttons," I ordered him as if I had any confidence when it came to him. I walked to the bathroom adjacent to my studio, grabbing my red lipstick and applying it in the mirror.

"I love the color!" Matthew shouted from the doorway of the bathroom, almost causing me to drag the makeup across my face. I pulled it away from my lips slowly, looking over at the idiot who was constantly scaring me. I gave him the death stare. He quickly brought his hands into a surrender position and backed from the room and into the studio. But not without giving me a wicked smile. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

"Sit!" I shooed him onto the stool I set up for him.

"Yes ma'am!" He saluted, sitting gracefully onto the wobbly seat.

"You promise this won't be too weird?" I asked a final time, a very *very* small part of me hoping that he would think it was too weird so I didn't have to torture myself even more with this horrible crush of mine. He just stared at me with one eyebrow raised, as to silently say.

*Do I really have to assure you again that I don't care?*

"Alright! Let go then." Another wave of anxiety shot through me as I leaned down to his level. My hands parted his hair to where I wanted it. I then kissed my thumb to make sure the lipstick was still wet enough to transfer, and sure enough, the red pigment was smudged onto the finger. Here we go.

I grabbed his face with both hands and brought my lips to his left cheek, leaving a kiss slightly above his cheekbone. I then left another kiss lower on the same cheek. On his right cheek, I put one right in the middle and one more near his chin.

I backed away from his face, pulling the lipstick from my pocket to reapply it. I watched his eyes as I put it on, seeing something I'd never seen in his eyes before.

"You okay Gubler?" I giggled a little, recapping the tube, I smacked my lips, ensuring that I got it everywhere. He blinked several times before shaking his head a little bit.

"Yeah! Uh, yes. Just zoned out." He nodded curtly, now venturing his eyes out the window.

"Okay weirdo." I chuckled. "I'm gonna kiss your chest now." I chuckled again, much more nervous than the previous one. He simply nodded and looked down at me with a small grin.

I got on my knees and opened his shirt a bit. Hopefully, he couldn't feel how much my hands were shaking, because let me tell you, I was *trembling*. I placed my hands on his shoulders and placed a kiss on the side of his neck first. I watched as Matthew sucked his lips into his mouth slowly tilting his head back. His hand was brought to his face and he left it there for a moment. I raised an eyebrow at him but quickly shrugged it off, I wasn't going to let this lipstick dry again.

I leaned down further, kissing his collar bone and then a final one near the center of his chest. At this point, Matthew was looking down at me again. He let off a loud breath and ran his tongue over his lips.

I stood up dusting my legs off, Matthew's eyes following me.

"Are you seriously okay? You're acting kind of funny." I came close to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. He looked like a puppy dog looking up at me from the stool.

"I've got a small headache I think." It was a quick answer that seemed like a lie.

"We can stop-"

"No!" I jumped back from him, startled. "No, it's seriously fine. I'm just gonna get ibuprofen from your cabinets." He stood so quickly and turned toward the door.

"I can get that for you!"

"No it's fine I got it." His voice was farther now, almost completely in the bathroom. Even from this far his voice sounded strangled.

*Was this weirding him out? It really seems like it was.*

I gathered my colors from my oil paint box and brought them to the small table next to my easel.

Just a few minutes later Matthew emerged from the bathroom, looking like he felt better.

"Looks like the ibuprofen is working fast." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He snickered, sitting on his stool with a suspiciously large smile. I just shook my head a walked up to pose him. I turned his shoulders slightly toward the window, opening the shirt to see the kisses. I frazzled his hair a little to give it a bedhead look and once I was happy with everything, I went back to my seat.

"Just look wherever is comfortable. I'm giving you free will on that." Of course, he chooses to look directly at me.

"You sure you wanna look at me during this whole process?" I joked, starting with some skin-colored paint on the canvas.

"Well yeah, you're the most interesting thing in the room." I could feel the tips of my ears burn at the comment, not bothering to hide the smile that formed on the face.

"Well, thank you." I kept my eyes on the canvas, partly because I was painting, and partly because I thought that if I looked in his eyes I might melt into a puddle.

-

I was finally done with the base of everything. I pretty much had an outline with the correct colors.

"Okay, I'm taking a break. Do you want to snack with me?" I stretched my legs as I stood from my chair, my arms flailing high in the air.

"Yeah, what are you getting?" His hands rubbed together like a mischievous fly.

"I made chocolate chip cookies last night. I'm gonna heat them up so they are melty." I excitedly padded my bare feet to the kitchen. I slipped 3 cookies onto a plate and placed them in the microwave for 20 seconds. My back leaned on the counter as Matthew peered over me at my cookies.

"Someones excited about cookies." I laughed, grabbing them for the microwave and setting them on the counter, eating half of it in one bite.

"And you say *I'm* excited." He replied with a mouthful, clearly poking at the way I ate the cookie.

"You just ate yours in one bite!" I shot back.

"Whatever." He grabbed another, eating that one whole as well, as melted chocolate, slipped down his chin. He raised his hand to wipe it off and I was not quick enough to stop him.

"I'll just touch it up when we go back." He looked at his hand that was a mixture of brown and red and made a pouty face at me. "It's fine, here." I handed him a rag to wipe his hands and we went back into the studio.

On the walk back I was already reapplying my lipstick so I could fix the smudge on his face. I slipped into the bathroom quickly, grabbing my makeup wipes to fix the smudge as well. He sat in the stool once again.

Much less nervous this time, I grabbed his face the same way I did before and kissed over the same spot, making it darker and more defined again. As I was about to pull away from his face, Matthew's hands grabbed my wrists, stopping me from leaning away.

"What are you doing?" My heart hammered against my ribs, and at this moment I was hoping he couldn't hear it.

"Do you think there's anything else that needs to be fixed up?" His voice came out in a whisper, I could feel it against my face. "Do you think my *lips* should be red too?"

*Was he saying what I think he was saying?*

Apparently he was, because we both leaned in with closed eyes, connecting our lips. He pulled me into his lap on the stool, grabbing the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. I was sure that I was getting lipstick on much more than his lips at this point.

After quite the makeout sesh, we pulled away, both panting.

"What was that for?" My brain was in a complete haze. I realized I was still on his lap and began standing up, only to be pulled back down by his hands.

"I decided to finally make a move." He chuckled, leaning his forehead on mine.

"You mean, you like me?"

"No, I make out with everyone, all the time." He deadpanned. I giggled, running my thumb across his lips and showing his all the red that had transferred.

"Totally worth it." He smirked, kissing the tip of my nose sweetly.

*I'm not gonna get anything done with this man around.*

[callemreine]

It hurts a little bit too much

'It’s time to grow up. I’m finally doing something that people enjoy! Something that people take time to pay attention to! Why can’t you understand that!'

Au August

Day/Prompt: Day 2 - Acting

Ship: Prinxiety, brief platonic moxiety

Word count: 1780

Cw: swearing / yelling (I'm sorry) / self-deprecation / crying / La la Land spoilers? (some people haven't watched it)

A/N: This is solely based on La La Land but I changed a few things that may change the direction of the story than what was actually in the film and this is my first time writing something angsty so forgive me angst gods </3 Also, Roman wants to be a Broadway actor but signed as a pop band singer instead. Virgil is still like Mia but not as headstrong

@tsshipmonth2020

Virgil has been with Roman for quite a while now. Roman has recently signed a contract for a pop band with his old friend, Janus, despite their doubt about the guy. Virgil wasn’t exactly pleased with what he witnessed when he was invited to one of his partner’s concerts. With the single confused tear left on the venue floor, Virgil has been worried since then about what Roman has gotten himself into.

~*~*~

Virgil was returning home after his dinner out with his friend, Patton; the only person keeping him stable since Roman left for… Boston? Maybe Dallas? He stopped keeping track a while ago.

When he reached the porch of their apartment, he hears the faint instrumental of ‘Only Us’ playing inside. He continues inside to see his partner setting up the table, his back facing him. “Roman?” The man suddenly drops the pot he’s holding on the table and turns to him. Roman let out a sigh of relief before flashing a small endearing smile to Virgil. “Surprise?” The taller man says in a small breathy voice, almost a whisper. “I have to leave in the morning but, I just had to see you,” he continues.

Virgil freezes for a moment before rushing to Roman, dropping everything he’s carrying, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck to kiss him. Roman wraps his arms around Virgil’s waist to keep them steady.

~*~*~

“I’m so glad to be home,” The taller man says with a smile. “Stay,” Virgil replies with a hopeful look; only to be returned with the same look from the other.

The pair are now seated at the dining table across from each other, instrumental music playing in the background.

“How’s your play? Hope you’re not too nervous,” Roman breathes out as he notices the other’s mood shift as he mentions the play. “You know me. I’m nervous about everything,” Virgil jokes with a chuckle. “Plus, what if people show up? I’m gonna perform in front of them. They’ll think I’m terrible,”

“Fuck ‘em” They laugh a little before Roman continues, ”They should be lucky to see it. It’s gonna be incredible. YOU’RE gonna be incredible. I can’t wait.” Virgil looks down on his food with a sad smile.

“I have to leave early tomorrow,” As much as Roman thinks that the statement sounds wrong when it left his lips, he doesn’t want Virgil to worry. “Boise, right?” Virgil inquires still looking at his food. Roman hums in agreement and continues, “You should come,”

“Wish I could. I still have to rehearse cuz’, we’re not all gifted in acting like a certain prince-like man I know,” Virgil teases with a smile. Roman chuckles, “Well, if you wanted me to help you, you could’ve just said so, darling,”

“I guess it’ll have to wait until you’re done with the tour,” Virgil replies with a forced smile. Roman’s face falls. “When are you done?” Virgil continues. “Uhm. Well, we’re only touring so we can make the record. After we’re done, we’re gonna record then, we go back to tour that record…” He trails off.

Virgil processes this information and decides to just let his brain talk. His heart is too soft for this conversation but, it can’t continue hurting for months. Or years.

“Do you like it?” Roman was caught off guard with the question and was confused with what Virgil meant. “The music, the band, the tour, singing on stage. Do you like it?” Virgil clarifies.

“I…” he trails off. “I don’t know how it matters,” Roman doesn’t like where this is going. All this time. All this touring. He thought it was what Virgil wanted him to do. Roman looks Virgil in the eyes, “Do you like the music?”

“I do. I just didn’t think you did…” The pair fell in uncomfortable silence, letting Virgil’s last statement linger between them.

“Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted me to do this. This is what we’ve been waiting for,” Roman is deep into confusion at this point. He’s been in this band for a while, he just wants to know why Virgil hasn’t anything before he signed on the dotted line that would seal his life.

Virgil sighed, “I just wanted to know where you’re theatre is gonna fit into all of this.” He said in such a small voice that, Roman wanted to just sweep Virgil off his feet to make everything better again. “There’s a reason why there are no theatres here because no one is like me. No one likes musicals here. Not even you,” Roman explained.

Virgil can’t take how pathetic Roman thinks of this entire situation. Yes, it’s Virgil that usually overthinks these things and, it’s not entirely impossible for Roman to as well but, this is just pure non-sense to Virgil. “I do like them now, because of you!” He blurted out with a slightly raised voice.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Wait for you to be successful only for me to build something no one likes? It- It’s time to grow up. I’m finally doing something that people enjoy! Something that people take time to pay attention to! Why can’t you understand that!” Roman exclaimed, determined for Virgil to understand his point of view, not bothering to look at the other.

“Since when did you care about being liked? Why do you care so much about being liked-”

“You’re not an actor! How would you know?!” Roman immediately regrets his statement, knowing he doesn’t mean it. To him, Virgil is the greatest actor he has ever seen and, nothing would ever change that. He glances at Virgil and, sees the destruction his statement has caused slowly unfolding.

“No. No- I- I didn’t mean that, Virgil. I’m sorry. I promise it’s not true-” he tried to reverse his mistake but, to Virgil, the destruction has always been always there, this was just what he needed for everything to fall apart.

“Maybe you just liked me because I made you feel like a better actor,” Virgil stated blandly in a matter-of-fact manner. Roman knew that he was never better than Virgil, as an actor or not. He was heartbroken to hear that his partner thinks that he was just being used. His statement earlier was just a slip-up but this… What Virgil’s feeling is all his fault.

“Are you kidding?” Roman can’t bear to lose someone that he loves so much. Tears well up in his eyes, tempting to let them fall.

“No,” Virgil calmly replied, keeping a stern face.

Both of them, heartbroken, stared at each other, not letting go of what’s left between them.

But before any of them could say anything, Roman’s phone, which he left in the kitchen, rang. His ringtone echoing through the apartment. Roman sighs at the sound but doesn’t stand up. However, Virgil does and eyes for the door. Roman stays frozen for a moment before going after Virgil.

“Virgil, wait-” before he could continue, Virgil had already slammed the door.

~*~*~

You guys can use your imagination to fill in what happens after the argument up to before the next part.

But, if you haven’t watched La La Land, basically, Virgil did the one-man play and Roman didn’t show up and only a few people show up then, he goes back home to his parents in a different state, leaving everything behind. I think that’s all you need to know??

~*~*~

It’s been a few weeks since Virgil came home to his parents. He was devastated to see his old stuff and how hopeful he was to become an actor. Yet, he can’t bring himself to take it all down.

Virgil had abandoned his phone and his laptop to the very back of his closet and sticks to using his mp3 in the meantime. He has been needing some time to rethink his life decisions before facing the real world again. Leaving Roman to pick up whatever he left in Los Angeles.

He was finally enjoying peace and quiet for the first time in a while, until…

HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

~*~*~

“The fuck are you doing here?!” Virgil whisper-yelled as he walked towards the man, wondering what’s so important that Roman had to follow him all the way to another state.

“Thomas Sanders. The casting director. He was at your play-” Roman began. Just at the mention of the name, Virgil had become more troubled but hopeful at the same time.

“And he loved it so much, he wants you to audition for this HUGE-” Roman stated as he slammed his hand on his car for emphasis, startling Virgil a little. ”-huge movie that he’s got,” He continued with visible excitement.

Virgil shook his head with a little chuckle before running his hand over his mouth, “I- I can’t- I’m not going to that- That.. will kill me,” he continues to shake his head.

“WHAT?!” Roman exclaims, startling Virgil again. “What?! Shh shh! You have to be quiet cuz’ if my neighbors don’t call the police on you, I will,” He attempts to calm Roman down. “No. You have to make sense. You can’t stay here and be miserable for the rest of your life. You need to be reasonable here,” Roman persists.

“Because it’s just another goddamn audition!” Virgil explodes with all the hurt and anger he’s gathered through the years of auditioning for shows. “I’ve been to hundreds of auditions and it’s just the same thing over and over again! I’m sick of it! Yeah, sure, I get callbacks but, where does it end? Another fucking rejection! All of those countless hours of waiting for the phone to ring. Be- because maybe I’m not good enough,” Virgil pauses.

“I’ve been wanting this for years. And, now... Now that I don’t want it anymore. Now that I gave up on it. Another one fucking presents itself to what? Another rejection? I’m- I’m not giving myself another heartbreak, Roman. It hurts a little bit too much,” Virgil admits, already crying. It hurts Roman to see Virgil this way. He’s seen Virgil become so passionate about his play, he needs to let him see that this is not ‘just another audition,’ it’s the reward his hard work is all for. He needs to know.

“You’re a baby,” Roman bluntly states. “Maybe I am,” He couldn’t continue arguing anymore. “But, you said it’s time to grow up. And, I’m doing that so, why won’t you help me?” Virgil continues.

“You have an audition at 5:30. I’ll pick you up at 8,” as much as Roman wants Virgil to grab this chance, he can’t force him to if he doesn’t really want to. He loves him too much for that. At least he tried. “You’ll be out front or not. I don’t know,” Roman continues as he gets in his car and drives off, leaving Virgil standing in the middle of the road, staring at the library in front of him. The library that once helped him set his path to acting.

~*~*~

Perhaps Virgil was out front at 7:30 and got accepted in the audition.

Perhaps he wasn’t.

Told ya I'm not good at angst ;-;

[crystallizedkingdoms]

tmw u write a very self indulgent fanfic of johann braiding (inuk) avi’s hair... cuz what else would u do with ur time <3

word count: 1,548

“Hey, be careful.”

Johann pulls his hand away from Avi’s hair. “Sorry,” he says almost immediately. “Won’t start from there then. Can I try again?”

“Yeah.”

…

“Hey, don’t tug too hard, man.”

“Okay, now you're just lying. I haven't even touched your hair yet!” Johann huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Though Avi faces away from him, focused more on his phone rather than much else, Johann can practically feel the smug grin growing on his face when he says that.

“I could feel you thinking really hard about it!” Though Avi tenses slightly when Johann takes the ends of his hair into his hands, he plays it off by shifting his position on the floor. “So what’re you going to do? Just my usual ponytail or something?”

Threading his fingers through Avi’s hair to rid it of any knots he might’ve missed with the comb, Johann hums in thought. “Not sure. Just a simple half up half down braid, maybe, if that was okay with you,” he says when he's finally sure that he has gotten rid of any tangle in Avi’s hair. Not that he had many to begin with. He’s careful with that sort of thing, Johann has come to notice.

“What’s that look like?”

“Fuckin’ Google it or wait for the results. You've got your phone right in front of you. I can't project the image into your brain.”

Avi laughs, and it's a sound that makes Johann feel hot all over his skin every time he hears it, no matter how many times he's experienced it before. “All right, all right. Just give me the vibes of it or something, at least?” he asks, his head twisting to the side to look over his shoulder. There's a big grin resting on his lips from what Johann can see, and he wants nothing more than to lean in and kiss him.

But Johann simply pushes Avi’s cheek away to face where he was looking before. He has braiding to do, after all. “Think Pinterest wedding vibes. I might put an Inuk spin on them though. What I have in mind will look really cute on you.”

“You're giving me a Pinterest hairstyle? That's practically sacreligious.”

“...Are you being serious? I won't do it if you are.”

“No, I'm not being serious. You can do it! I was just kidding,” Avi’s grin can be heard when he says that, which gets a small smack on the arm from Johann. “Ow! I said I was kidding!”

Kissing his teeth, Johann gathers a section of hair from the right side of Avi’s head, near his temple, “You kid too much. Now, do you want it to be tight or not? It needs two small braids around the side of your head, around the length I'm holding right now. Is that fine? Do you want more or less hair for these braids?”

When Johann asks these questions, he notices how Avi’s body finally relaxes from its tense state from earlier. He leans a little closer to Johann and his shoulders slump into a more comfortable position. “The amount of hair is fine. Try not to make it too tight or too close to the scalp or whatever? Whenever I try to braid it myself I always go too tight and it sucks,” Avi explains with a sigh.

“I don't think I've ever seen you with braided hair. Is that why?” Johann attempts to make conversation as he segments the section of hair in his hands and begins to braid them in a simple manner. He intentionally left some hair loose and kept the braid from growing too tight. His hands move in a swift and calculated pattern, but he occasionally slows down to admire just how soft Avi’s hair was in between his fingers.

“Yeah. The ponytail I usually do is a lot easier to put on and manage than a braid,” Avi says. His voice grows quiet when Johann ties off the braid he was working on, then moves to the other side of his head to grab another section of hair. If Johann were to strain his ears just a little, he would hear the hitch in Avi’s breath when he begins the new braid.

Even though Johann would’ve preferred to talk while doing his braiding, he allows the silence to continue when he notices that Avi is completely relaxed. He even places his phone to the side when Johann begins the second braid, and instead lets his hands rest on his lap.

Johann weaves the new braid with a rhythmic motion. He splits the section of hair in his hand into three, smaller sections, then works to thread them together into a simple braid similar to the one he made before. Over the middle, over the left, crisscrossing down the length of Avi’s hair. Not once is Johann rough— his fingers smooth down the rest of the hair that isn’t being braided when he must, he allows the braids to be loose, and he never tugs Avi’s hair, not even playfully.

What is it about this that feels so intimate? It slows Johann down. Only by a little, but it slows him regardless. Why do the tips of his fingers buzz when he threads between the silky strands of hair that Avi took great pride in and maintained to the best of his abilities? Perhaps it’s the utmost trust Avi places in Johann to care for his hair, and knowing he’s trusted to that degree sends a thrill in his chest. Or perhaps it’s simply due to how soft Avi’s hair is. Either way, Johann embraces the intimacy.

The second braid finished in nearly a minute, Johann ties it off at the end and lets it drop. He has to pick it back up anyway, but he gives himself the time to take it in. Not the braids, those are fairly simple and Johann doesn’t quite find pride in them because of it. No, he takes his time admiring Avi, from his hair to the movement of his back as he took in deep breaths.

Avi takes this pause as a sign of completion. He looks over his shoulder at Johann, his eyes twinkling softly. “Are you done already? Most of my hair isn’t braided,” he points out. Aside from the sections of hair near his temple, the rest of his dark hair flows freely down his back.

Johann shakes his head and takes the rest of the unbraided hair into his hands. He begins to weave it into one big braid, in the simple pattern as the other two, “No, I’m not done. Sorry, I was just looking over it.”

That makes Avi turn back around, but not before Johann could catch a bashful smile on his face as opposed to the wide grin from before. “Like what you see, eh?”

“Duh. Your hair is really nice. Really, really soft. Also really thick, it’s a bit tough to braid this big one.”

“See what I’m talking about?? It’s too hard to put it into braids,” Avi sighs and slouches his back.

In response, Johann pauses the braiding and pushes one hand on the centre of Avi’s back to force him back into a straighter position. “It’s not too hard for me. It just takes a few seconds to get used to, that’s all. If you want me to do it more often, I can,” he says when he continues his work.

As he completes the final braid, Johann takes the two smaller braids and tucks the ends of them into the larger braid, creating a distinct loop to them. Once he’s finished, Johann props the large braid over Avi’s shoulder, then places a kiss on the nape of his neck. “Okay, now I’m done. Your phone is right next to your ass if you wanna check it out.”

“Check out my hair or my ass?”

“You do the first, I’ll do the second.”

Avi takes his phone and swipes to the camera. As he props the phone up towards his face, Johann is surprised to see that the corner Avi’s eyes are swelling with tears. He doesn’t ask about it— he knows it’ll only embarrass Avi.

“Hey, you actually did a really good job,” Avi mutters in awe, his free hand moving to feel at the larger braid.

“You doubted me?”

Avi shakes his head and places the phone back on the ground so he can turn and fully face Johann. “Of course not! I just wasn’t sure what it’d look like on me. I really like it though.” His hands are fiddling with the braided loops by his temple when he says, “Thank you, babe. I really mean it.”

Johann rolls his eyes and presses a kiss against the bridge of Avi’s nose, right up against the line of tunniit on his skin. “Oh, you’re such a sap, but you’re welcome. I wouldn’t mind doing it more often if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Yeah, I think that’d be nice,” Avi admits with that sheepish smile. Then he kisses Johann’s lips, and Johann throws his arms around Avi’s neck with one hand on the base of the braid, until they’re both smiling and giggling into their kiss for god knows how long.

[thedragonslibrary]

I'm having problems communicating with my spirit companion. Like, I just can't do it. Maybe it's because I'm new, maybe I'm rushing it. But, opening my third eye and telepathy are things I don't know how to do. And everything I've seen so far is either too vague or something I haven't even heard of. So, could you help me? You could link me things or just write it out. P. S. Astral travel is scary but if I had more info and more real life stories I feel like is be more comfortable. Thank you.

Hi there!  I know this is an extremely belated answer, and I really hope you were able to resolve this situation.  But I’m going to go ahead and answer it anyway, since it may be helpful to someone now!

If you’re new to the idea of witchcraft, opening yourself up, astral travel, and the like, it can be really scary and overwhelming.  If you’ve already gotten yourself a spirit companion, it may be the first time you’re introduced to any of these things.  But there is no rush - your companion likely knew this going in, and they are not desperately trying to batter through your natural psychic barriers!  They are on the other side, being just as patient, waiting for you to be ready.

One of my all-time favorite books about opening yourself up psychically, which has exercises I still use to this day, is You Are Psychic by Debra Lynne Katz.  The book preaches an end goal of clairvoyance, but I find that even its first few exercises teach a lot about visualization, and its importance in energy and spirit work.  I recommend starting there.

The thing about spirit and energy work is that it is often going to feel like it’s “all in your head,” especially when you are starting out and don’t yet have the skills to tell the difference between yourself and “the other.”  But the most important thing for me is being able to explain this in a way that feels logical, even to those who might never have touched any kind of new age thing before.  So, yeah, I’ll say it - sometimes it feels weird and out-there.  It doesn’t make the most sense in a real-world context.  It doesn’t always feel real, you don’t always see visions clearly or in real-time, most people can’t hear the voices of their spirit guides in their physical ears.  Almost none of it is physical, actually.  A lot of it feels internal.

Telepathy can feel like you’re talking to yourself in your head.  Astral travel can feel like daydreaming.  Witchcraft can feel like saying silly words over silly items.  What brings it gravitas and power is what you bring to the table - how seriously you’re going to take it.  How frequently you’re going to show up.  I consider it to be a lot like this: I played in bands and orchestras for years.  Before, all instruments sounded the same to me, or I didn’t care to differentiate, even if I knew what they looked like and what they were supposed to sound like.  But I showed up every day and participated and listened for years, and now I know what each instrument sounds like, what it sounds like combined with others, and how that differs from my own instrument’s timbre.

So, if you’re just beginning to develop your psychic skills, start here.  It will take time, and practice, but your patience will reward you in time.

Learn how to ground:

Visualize a cord, or roots, stretching from the base of your spine and down into the earth.

Breathe deeply.  As you breathe in, imagine energy from the ground pulling up through that cord, filling you with light.  As you breathe out, imagine that light washing away any darkness or blockages with you.  

Work from your toes to your head.  Take your time.  If you feel you need to spend more time on one section, stay there for a while.  

When you feel you are done, imagine the cord detaching painlessly from your body.

Learn how to stimulate your third eye:

The third eye cannot be forced open (or if it can, it’s not extremely beneficial for you).  When doing the grounding/cleansing exercise I outlined above, take time to focus on the point in the middle of your forehead.  

It might naturally tingle, and one day you might feel its sensations come naturally to you.  But very few people can physically see with their third eye.  It’s going to be more about spiritually seeing - not with your eyes, but with your non-physical sense.

Throughout the day, imagine energy swirling around your third eye, like one of those twirling loading circles.

Interact with your third eye.  Press it with your thumb.  Think about it casually.  Put your palm over it and imagine giving it a warm glow of energy.  Put diluted oil blends on it (and be sure to wash them off later, if your skin is sensitive).  Take time to take care of it.

Repeat this often.  This is an elongated process with no specific end-point.

Create a psychic space for yourself:

Learn to enter and craft a space inside yourself.  This is especially helpful as a meeting place for you and your companions.  A good friend of mine calls her “The White Room.”  Mine looks like a treehouse.  Allow yours to fit your needs, and your personality.  Let it change and evolve as you do.

Find some quiet time to meditate.  You can use free, guided meditations on YouTube to help with this. Once you’ve gotten yourself into a meditative position and a quiet mindspace, imagine going somewhere in your mind.  Open a door, go down or up stairs, climb a ladder - whatever feels right.  Once you have done this, you will find yourself in a space.

This will feel like daydreaming, and it may not be entirely solid.  But you can make it your own place, and over time, with practice, it will solidify.  Fill it with furniture, paint the walls, fill the pantry with food.  Invite your companions over.  They may not feel tangible or may look/feel fuzzy.  That’s okay - they’ll get more solid over time.

Ah - whoops!  Surprise!  You just did your first astral travel!  Really!  It was inside yourself, but it was real.

And since you were looking specifically for other people’s astral experiences, this blog is pretty cool, although it’s not active anymore.  

Practice telepathy with your companion:

This is not going to be like telepathy in the movies at all.  It’s a subtler form of communication, and if you struggle with it, you can always try other communication techniques like pendulums, tarot cards, and automatic writing.

Notice your thoughts throughout the day.  If you have unusual, stray thoughts, if you catch your thoughts responding to themselves, if you have strange urges to look at or interact with things you might not normally interact with, these are all signs that your companion may be attempting telepathy with you.

Like meditation, sit in a quiet space and let your thoughts drift.  Invite your companion to join you, and just let your mind go.  Are there any ideas or thoughts that feel out of place?  Anything that sounds like not your own internal voice?  

This can be a very hard process, especially if you’re not using any other communication method.  I personally learned to perform telepathy with my companions by first using a pendulum and alphabet board to talk with them.  Eventually, I was able to recognize what voices sounded like “theirs,” and differentiate them from mine.

You can read my post on communication for more info on this!

Above all, I feel I need to emphasize this: Your practice does not have to look like anybody else’s who has written their experiences on the internet.  It is allowed to be imperfect, unfocused, messy, and fun.  A lot of people, myself included, sometimes go to great lengths to make it seem as though when they are astral traveling, they feel as though they are physically there.  That level of immersion is very difficult to reach and can take years after years of practice.  I am not even there, I promise you.

Anyway, now that I’ve written an Entire Novel, I hope this was helpful to you or to somebody!  Thank you for asking!