#yeah hes genocidal but boy is he a CUTIE!

[vannss4206980085]

nomad my problematic fave

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 15)

Chapter 15

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,459

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

              Catalina was nervous. She had changed her outfit almost ten times and was already pulling a sweater out of her closet for an eleventh. She eyed her suitcase in the corner of her room. No, don’t open it, you’ll have to repack, she told herself. Her phone buzzed from her bed. It was a text from Jungkook.

JK: I’m on my way

              “Shit,” Catalina mumbled. She looked between the sweater in her hand and the one laying on the floor. The one in her hand was a bit nicer so she pulled that one on. She tucked it into her skirt, then slipped into her ankle boot heels. As she was checking her hair and makeup in the bathroom mirror for the last time, she heard her front door open. Rounding the corner, she saw Jungkook standing in the hallway, tapping the snow off his boots on the rug. Catalina grabbed her coat.

              “You look so cute!” he said as she came over for a hug.

              “I always look cute, what are you talking about?” she said. He grinned, his nose scrunching up and his eyes turning to crescents. He looked good too, in a turtleneck under his peacoat. It was amusing to her, knowing that he still had a few lingering marks on his neck. They had both dealt with enough teasing from their friends over the past few days, they definitely didn’t need Jungkook’s family on that train as well.

              “Ready to go?” he asked. Catalina nodded and followed him out the door, locking up behind her.

              The car ride was short, only a minute or two since they lived a block away from each other. There were two other cars in the driveway, which Jungkook parked behind. As they got out of the car, Jungkook said, “So, my brother is kind of annoying. Just warning you. He’s in law school and he’s a bit of an asshole about it.”

              “Be an asshole about your film major right back to him,” said Catalina, making him laugh.

              “Easy,” he said. “I’ll just start talking about my favorite directors and artsy films.”

              His house was warm and inviting, as it always was, but today, it was cleaner than Catalina’s seen it in a long time. Maybe ever. A small Christmas tree stood in the corner, decorated with mismatched bulbs and ornaments.

              Jungkook’s mom came out of the kitchen, pulling oven mitts off her hands. She saw Catalina and her eyes lit up.

              “Catalina! It’s so good to see you!” she said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m glad you could make it.”

              “Yeah, me too!” Catalina said. “I never get to see you guys, so I’m glad to be able to spend some time with you all.”

              “Of course, you’re always welcome,” she said. “My husband and I are always so busy with work, I feel bad. Anyway, come into the kitchen. The food’s almost ready. Jungkook, go help set the table.”

               Dinner was beautiful, and Catalina had fun listening to Jungkook’s family try to embarrass him by sharing childhood stories. He wasn’t embarrassed though, always laughing with the table and sharing his own details about the experiences. It sounded like the family hiked and camped a lot while the boys were growing up, so there were plenty of adventure stories to go along with that. Catalina asked about his parent’s jobs and they told her about what they do at the hospital during their overnight shifts. They were both nurses, but they also did volunteer work every chance they got. Jungkook’s brother was indeed a bit of an asshole about being a law student, but Jungkook cracked everyone up by talking about his favorite film, “Persepolis”, pronouncing it “Pear-say-po-li”.

               Catalina had a great time, but she didn’t stay too late since her and Jungkook had a flight to catch in the morning. Jungkook dropped her off at home that night, kissing her softly in the car before she got out.

               “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

               “I can’t wait,” she said, pecking his lips once more before getting out of the car. “I love you.”

               “I love you too,” he said.

               It feels so good to say that, Catalina thought as she took the stairs to her apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The airport was crowded with people rushing to travel for the holidays. Catalina was thrumming with excitement. She hadn’t seen her mom since before her first semester. She had never lived away from her home before, never away from her mom for so long. She couldn’t wait to see her, and to introduce Jungkook to her. They found their flight easily enough in the giant building, and soon enough, they were in the air, en route to Detroit.

               Catalina’s mom was waiting for them at the airport when they landed. As soon as Catalina exited the gates, she ran, giving her mom a long hug.

               “Oooh, dios mio, how I’ve missed you!” her mom said, holding her tight.

               “I missed you too, mom,” said Catalina. She pulled away and looked over at Jungkook. “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook.”

               “What a cutie you are!” her mother said as she gave Jungkook a hug as well. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

               “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Diaz,” said Jungkook.

               “Ms. Diaz. Or you can just call me Lucía. Come, lets go home,” she said. “This place is too crowded.”

               Catalina sat in the passenger seat of her mom’s car on the way home. It wasn’t a long drive, their house was just outside of the city. During the drive, she wondered if she should reach out to her old friends. They had never once texted or checked up on her while she was away, so maybe it was best to leave them behind.

               The house looked exactly the same as when she last saw it and it gave her a sense of comfort to come back to the familiarity. After Catalina and Jungkook got settled into her old room, her mom called them downstairs to help bake cookies. While baking, Catalina and Jungkook told her all about their classes and professors. After the cookies came out, they had fun decorating them in weird and interesting ways. Jungkook decorated a gingerbread man with red eyes and fangs, which Catalina took a picture of to send to their friends.

               Later in the evening,  Lucía took them all out to dinner at a nice place in downtown Detroit. The restaurant was beautiful; bistro lights dripped from the ceiling, branching out from the twisting paper tree in the center of the dining room. Over dinner, Catalina told her mother about her friends in California, and about their trip to the lodge. Her and Jungkook left out the parts about their friends being vampires.

               “I want to know how the two of you got together,” said Lucía. “She didn’t date much in high school, so this is so exciting to me.”

               “I had a girlfriend in my senior year,” Catalina mumbled. Lucia waved a hand.

               “That doesn’t count,” she said. Catalina glanced at Jungkook, who was frowning after hearing this exchange. Catalina put a hand on his knee under the table and decided not to argue.

               “Well, we met in our French class,” Catalina started. “We became friends and we hung out a lot for the first few months of the semester. I mean, I never really knew I had a crush on him at first, I knew he was attractive, but I only saw him as a friend. Then one day, he kissed me, and we’ve been an item ever since.”

                Lucía had a hand over her heart as she listened.

               “That’s so sweet,” she said. “You two are a beautiful couple and I can see you’re so happy with each other. I’m just…so relieved that you found a nice boy and-“

               “Mom,” Catalina interrupted.

               “I just didn’t want you to fall back into those high school phases you were in,” she said. “I was so worried I would lose you to the wrong kind of people. There’s so many influences online these days and I just wanted you to be successful in life. That kind of lifestyle comes with drugs and-“

               “I’m gonna go to the restroom,” Jungkook said, standing up and giving her shoulder a squeeze.

               “Mom, stop it,” Catalina said. As soon as Jungkook was out of sight, she said, “My boyfriend is bisexual too. And so are some of my other friends at school. They’re all amazing people and I would do anything for them. I don’t like when you say things like this.”

               “Catalina, you know I love you no matter what,” her mother said. “I just want the best for you.”

               “It’s not something anyone can control,” Catalina said. “Whether I fall in love with a man or a woman, I’ve always hoped you could be happy for me no matter what.”

               “I am happy for you,”  Lucía said, reaching over to take Catalina’s hand. “You’re following your dream and you seem so happy with your life right now. I think I need to get used to the idea of my daughter being bisexual, there’s just so many bad connotations that come with that community. At least from when I was growing up.”

               “Things are different now,” Catalina said.

               “I know, I know,”  Lucía said. “I think I just need to get used to this. At the end of the day, I just want you to be safe and happy. I think a man would be able to provide for you better later in life.”

               “You of all people should know that’s not true,” Catalina said. “You raised me alone, and we were always pretty well off.”

                Lucía raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “You got me there.”

               Catalina giggled and squeezed her mom’s hand.

               “I love you, cariña,”  Lucía said. “Just remember that.”

               “I love you too, mom,” said Catalina.

               Jungkook came back and Catalina took his hand as soon as he sat down.

               “I’m sorry if what I said earlier was offensive,”  Lucía said to him.

               “It’s okay,” Jungkook said, flashing a smile.

               “I’m trying, it was just so different when I was young,” she said.

               “It’s really okay,” Jungkook said with a chuckle. “This sounds exactly like the conversation I had with my own mom when I was sixteen.”

                Lucía laughed and the conversation turned to the topic of Jungkook’s family. Dinner went on peacefully. Catalina was glad she got this conversation off her chest. She had been struggling with that topic ever since she came out in high school. It really sounded like her mother was trying to understand, and Catalina couldn’t be more grateful.

               The next day was Christmas Eve. Catalina and Jungkook took a day trip to Frankenmuth, which, as soon as they arrived, they realized was a bad idea. Frankenmuth was packed with people, but the pair still managed to have a good time. They ate dinner at the Bavarian Inn and took a carriage ride around the town. They walked the underground mall and the outdoor shops, but only bought gifts for Lucía, since everything was terribly overpriced. They didn’t even shop for each other, since they both confessed they had already bought each other Christmas gifts a long time ago. Snow covered the ground and everything was wrapped in Christmas lights in the little town. Just walking through the beautiful scenery hand in hand with Jungkook was wonderful. 

               They returned home late that evening, wrapping their gifts in Catalina’s room and going to bed afterwards.

               Christmas morning was pleasant;  Lucía cooked them a big breakfast, then they opened gifts in the living room. Catalina had two gifts from her mom. The first one was a Visa gift card and a heartfelt letter. The second gift was a quilt. Each patch depicted a different cat from t-shirts, towels and linens.

               “You’re grandmother started making this before she passed away,”  Lucía said. “You remember her nickname for you?”

               “Gatita,” Catalina said, tears prickling her eyes.

               “I found it just recently and I decided to finish it for you,”  Lucía said. “Just something to remember her by, something your children can use.”

               Catalina felt a tear run down her cheek. She wiped it away and got up to hug her mom.

               “This is wonderful,” said Catalina. “I love it so much.”

               “I’m glad you like it, cariña,” her mom said, hugging her back tight. “I know I don’t have a lot for you, like when you were a kid, but I didn’t want you to have to lug a bunch of stuff back to California with you.”

               “No mom, it’s perfect,” she said. “This is perfect.”

                Lucía then opened Catalina’s gift, which was a silver bracelet from Frankenmuth. Jungkook had gotten her a handmade scarf and hat set, and she had given him another Visa gift card.

               At some point during the day, Catalina made sure to find time for herself and Jungkook. Lucía went to pick up groceries in the afternoon, which was when Catalina took the opportunity to give Jungkook his gift.

               They were pressed together on the couch, both holding a little gift bag in their hands.

               “You first,” Jungkook said, handing her his bag. She took it and opened it, finding a little box in the bottom. Her heart beat fast as she opened it, revealing a ring with the moon in a glass bubble. She gasped and handed his gift over frantically.

               “Open this right now!” she said, pulling the ring out and putting on her middle finger. He did, his eyes getting wide as he opened the slightly bigger box.

               “No way,” he said, looking up at her.

               “How the hell did this happen?” Catalina asked, holding in giddy laughter. Jungkook pulled the necklace out of the box and put it on. The charm on the chain held the moon in a little glass bubble. The same moon as the one in her ring.

               “We bought each other the same thing,” he said, laughing.

               It was the waxing half-moon from the night they shared their first kiss in the vampire den.

               When Lucía came back home, they immediately showed her their unplanned gifts for each other. She laughed for about ten minutes. She then recruited them to help cook dinner, which was an exciting ordeal. Catalina was happy to learn how to cook all of her favorite dishes.

               The three of them ended up having a beautiful dinner together, bright with laughter and conversation.

               The next few days passed in a blur. They went out, cooked together, played games, and watched movies. Before they knew it, the week was over and it was time for Catalina and Jungkook to travel again for the next leg of their trip. Catalina was reluctant to leave her mom, but she was absolutely filled with anticipation for her stay in the cabin.

[archies-litterbox]

You keep mentioning the witcher, what’s it about? Is it worth the disappointments you’ve mentioned in tags?

:D oh you just asked my favorite question

okay... it's a MUCH more mature/graphic show than tales of arcadia. The show is TV-MA instead of TV-Y7 because of nudity/language/violence, so I'm putting it under a cut with the important tags over it.

I don't recommend it if you're on the younger side of this fandom. In fact, if you're under 16, do not click under the cut.

That being said, I run another sideblog about it @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account so I'm VERY glad I get this ask to talk about one of my other favorite shows!

[TW: Violence, swearing, mention of nudity (but only shirtlessness in the gif used), discussion of abuse/child abuse, death, ableism, sterilization, genocide]

Okay so:

There's this guy named Geralt of Rivia

(In s2 his armor is gonna have abs plated on it but we won't speak of that)

He's a Witcher

He got mutated as a kid because mages wanted him to be stronger than humans in order to hunt monsters

(...sorta like s3 jim ig)

His mutations turned his hair white and his eyes yellow (and also the process to be mutated into a Witcher is BRUTAL and only 3/10 boys taken to Witcher schools survive them)

His mom left him on a roadside to be taken to one of the schools when he was a little boy :( #mommyissues

He's very grumpy >:/

In s1 alot of his dialogue is either "hmm" or "fuck"

He's scared of needing anyone because he doesn't want to get hurt/hurt them so he's kind of a brooding loner

He does talk to his horse though

Her name is Roach. He loves Roach. You love Roach. We all love Roach.

And Roach loves him too :)

Much of the fandom has branded him a horse girl for it (and for good reason)

He's not actually from Rivia!

He almost named himself Geralt Roger Eric du Haute Bellegarde (but his mentor smacked him upside the head and told him it sounded pretentious) and... *John Mulaney voice* none of that matters, but it's important to me that you know that

He's very grumpy but when he does smile it's very precious.

In half the episodes of s1 he's tagged along by this cutie of a bard!

His name is Jaskier. It means buttercup!

Isn't he cute?

He's so cute :)

In the book series the show is based off of, book!geralt is MUCH NICER to his bard (Dandelion in the English translation of the books) but in the show he's like... this

Think... Shrek and Donkey

They're apparently friends for 22 years but the show never ages Jaskier in s1

(Cue MANY different immortal!jaskier headcanons)

(Also alot of Witcher fans like me got reminded of jaskier when Wizards showed us moppet!douxie with his lute)

It's VERY implied that jaskier is in unrequited love with geralt :( sad

One time Geralt says his singing is "like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling" and jaskier responds like >:0

also canonically Jaskier gives Geralt a bath before a court event and put chamomile oil on his "lovely bottom"

(yes that's what jaskier says)

And then there's a very forlorn bit of dialogue where Geralt is sitting in his tub getting all cleaned up and he's like "I need no one... and the last thing I want is someone needing me."

And Jaskier softly whispers "And yet... here we are."

Yeah

All this yearning happens while geralt is sitting in a tub without a scrap of clothing on him and that's a thing

Their friendship flips on a dime honestly one moment Geralt looks at Jaskier with puppy dog eyes and the next he's punching him in the gut. It's fun.

Jaskier isn't allowed to touch Roach

S1 basically centers around three storylines (which, full disclosure, is not handled very well at all)

It's centered around Geralt's storyline, as well as those of two other main characters: Yennefer and Ciri!

This is Yennefer of Vengerberg

(Aka Yenny Boo of My Heart <3)

She's a sorceress

She starts out as a very poorly treated farm girl with a hunched back and skewed jaw (it gets magically "fixed" which can be seen as playing into the "Magical Disability Cure" trope ://)

The Rectoress of this sorceress school called Aretuza senses that she can use magic (yen portals there on accident once to escape some bullies) and comes to her stepfather's farm to collect her

Her stepfather gives the Rectoress, Tissaia de Vries, four marks for her (which is barely anything, so he considered her worthless)

Yennefer is trained to hone her magic and she does get to ascend from her class (which is sort of like graduating except that tissaia would have turned her into an eel if she didn't)

The day comes where the sorceresses of aretuza get to choose which kingdom's court to join and Yennefer wants to go to aedirn but her lover betrays her *gasp* and tells this nasty wizard named Stregobor that she's quarter-elf

(If I get into how bad Stregobor is we'll be here forever so... think Merlin but Worse. Also he doesn't have the One (1) Redeeming Factor of raising Douxie and is a creep. Ew.)

Stregobor manipulates other mages into overriding yennefers own choice and sending her to Nilfgaard instead

And Nilfgaard is not good to it's mages so she was like um... no

Sorceresses are given a Transformation before they become court mages and yennefer uses hers to become more powerful. it fixes her jaw/back (even though it's not actually necessary to make her powerful.)

(This is where "Magical Disability Cure" trope comes in for some fans.)

She woos the king of aedirn into taking her into his court after all

(But one of her schoolmates gets sent in her place, Fringilla Vigo, and she ends up an Intimidating Villain. Her actress calls her Fringy for short. :) )

But it comes at the cost of her fertility - she's given an irreversible hysterectomy.

(Alot of misguided fans are like "oh it was her choice to give it up she shouldn't be acting like she was robbed" but it was either that or go to a court where she knew she'd be treated horribly so... shut up)

(Also the books are more clear in the fact that tissaia makes sterilization mandatory for aretuza students anyway so... shut up 2: electric boogaloo)

Her storyline in s1 is largely centered around trying to regain her fertility by means of 1.) a djinn 2.) dragon hearts

Also Geralt's eventually in love with her

(And so am I <3)

Her arc actually isn't about her thinking herself "monstrous" for being infertile *cough* black widow *cough* fuck you joss whedon *cough* but about her fighting tooth and nail to regain some of the autonomy taken from her, especially about her *choice* to have a child

Speaking of children, here's Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon... aka Ciri

She's a princess but her kingdom gets destroyed by Nilfgaard in s1, leaving her all alone ( :( ) and she spends the whole season running around the woods trying to find Geralt

Why?

The Law of Surprise

(...sigh)

(This is gonna be confusing no matter how good I explain it so let's go)

In the Witcher universe, there's a concept called the Law of Surprise.

It can be invoked/offered to someone else out of gratitude/desperation if they have nothing else to offer a person for their help.

It basically means that whoever offers the Law of Surprise can claim from the other person something they have but aren't aware of.

(Sometimes it's even explained as "give me what you see when you come home that you weren't expecting to find")

Geralt invokes this as a joke/a really Stupid Decision after saving the life of Ciri's father (in the books he's actually really methodical about it but... not in the show I guess)

He claims the law of surprise recklessly, completely unaware that Ciri's mother is pregnant. NO ONE is actually aware of this pregnancy until its indicated fifteen seconds after he invokes the law.

...so yeah he accidentally claimed (Aka surprise-adopted) ciri as an unborn child

He doesn't come back for 12 years until he hears that Nilfgaards coming for Cintra (Ciri's kingdom)

He comes and tells the queen, Calanthe, that he can protect Ciri but Alot Happens and he isn't There to take her to safety

So Calanthe tells Ciri to find Geralt because "he is your destiny"

She meets an elf boy named Dara in the woods (we LOVE dara) and learns that Calanthe, her grandmother, took part in the genocide of the elves and she learns alot of truths she was never told of

She spends s1 1.) Trying to find Geralt 2.) Understand her weird screaming powers 3.) Outrun Nilfgaard because they keep trying to capture her 4.) Learn the awful truth of what her family has done

(Also in s2 they give her darker eyebrows and fancy hair braids and honestly... it's Weird)

(S2 does give Jaskier a hat though)

(but apparently for about "47 seconds" according to his actor Joey Batey)

(He's also in that "The Amazing Devil" band that I hc Douxie likes :) )

(They're very good! I recommend.)

So... the whole first season is about Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri's storylines coming together! :)

So... yeah :> the reason I dread being disappointed next season is because the show has botched alot of charming elements of the book series (cutting a super important story that brings Geralt and Ciri together, making Geralt less witty/funny/kind to his Bard Best Friend, everything with the timelines of the first season (but they aren't doing weird timeline stuff in s2 I don't think), just alot of decisions to make the show edgier than the books), and between that and some Bad Rumors about how a beloved character from the books might get killed off, I'm preparing for some disappointment.

But! Who knows! I expected rise of the titans to be AMAZING, and it... wasn't, so obviously, Witcher s2, which I'm prepping to be disappointed by, is gonna be WONDERFUL. Because... PEMDAS :)

Anyway... I sort of went overboard, but if you like fantasy shows that deal with magic like tales of arcadia, but a bit more mature/violent/dealing with darker themes for older audiences, I recommend it.

Thanks for the ask! I was really happy to talk about another one of my favorite shows :)

[neo-crimson-palace]

How often had Chihiro been mistaken for a girl by futas or other guys? Have they tried breeding him?

More times than you think; and more times than the programmer could actually recall. Not that he could actually blame any of them. Since it was entirely his choice in wanting to dress up and act like a girl. How could people not assume he was of the opposite gender?

One of the said futas was none other than Toko, or rather, Genocide Jill herself. Who refused to believe in a sense, that Chihiro was a boy. Even after the boy himself had shown his dick out of desperation. Claiming that he was nothing more than a small dick futa. And that ‘she’ should be punished for trying to lie to her like that. 

Before Fujisaki knew it, he was pinned down to the ground. Held in place by Jill’s scissors. The mass-murdering psycho was quick to tear off Chihiro’s skirt and panties despite the programmer’s protest. Though any other words were silenced by the woman’s massive cock flopping down on the femboi’s petite, yet shapely rear. The heat radiating off it was enough to send shivers up Chihiro’s spine. A sense of panic filled his chest as Toko began rubbing her length between his asscheeks, knowing full well what was coming next. Any pleas that he tried to spew fell on deaf ears; feeling Jill spread his ass wide. He gnashed his teeth, his eyes shrinking with agony as Jill’s cock plunged into his tight little asshole. Barely a few inches made its way into the programmer and already Chihiro felt like his ass was being split in to from the sheer girth. Before the boy could even catch his breath, Jill started moving. Driving her hips down on the boy, each violent thrust forcing more and more air out of Fujisaki’s lungs as his insides were being rearranged. Any attempt to scream or beg for her to stop was replaced by a choked cry and sob of agony. His own cock, hard from the unwanted stimulation, flopped back and forth, smacking against the murderer’s heavy balls while Jill had the boy pinned down by his shoulders. The arched position allowing the futa to pump her cock deep into his depths as much as she wanted. “Damn, I gotta say, out of all the petite girls I’ve fucked. Your ass is by far the tightest.” 

The boy couldn’t answer, focusing more on breathing and not passing out from the intensity of the brutal assfucking. Clawing against the ground, drool ran down his chin, as his eyes started rolling into the back of his head. A stab against his prostate enough to send the boy over the edge as a cry managed to tear out of her throat. Echoing throughout the entire room as he came. Shooting his load all over the floor, his cock twitching and spasming uncontrollably. Jill couldn’t hold back either, once she felt the boy’s ass squeeze around her cock, it was over for her as well. Trapping the supposed girl in a headlock as she erupted with her own torrent of hot creamy spunk. Letting out a blissful sigh as her cock throbbed with its release, Chihiro’s ass milking it nice and perfectly. 

“Fuck~ yeah, you’re TOTES better than all the other girls I’ve fucked.” Jill moaned out, “I don’t know what’s your secret, but I think I’m gonna keep ya around for my own little fun from now on.” 

Pulling out, she allowed Chihiro to slump to the ground, spewing the last of her jizz all over the boy’s small back. 

Jill winked at the unconscious programmer. “See ya around cutie, hope you learn your lesson about lying about your gender.” 

With that, the Mass Murderer left, leaving an unconscious to stew in her own sauce and hilariously ironic statement. 

[bullshittierlists]

My thoughts: 

I see no god up here other than me: 

Ishimaru - I love him more than just about anything right now. His relationship with Mondo was so pure and I loved it, even without my shipping-crazed brain in the way, their friendship is so adorable. He didn’t deserve to get killed in Celeste’s plan. He’s such a cutie and I think it’s adorable how he’s obsessed with the rules. When I was watching a playthrough of this game on YouTube, I literally laughed every time he was on screen. I miss him so much. However, I do have one complaint and that’s Ishida. Ishida pretty much ruined Ishimaru’s character. While I did enjoy the concept of his soul fusing with Mondo’s, it wasn’t a good addition to his character. In all honesty, it’s what got him killed. If Ishida didn’t come about because of Alter Ego’s presentation of Mondo, Yamada wouldn’t have had a rivalry with him and wouldn’t have agreed to help Celeste in killing him.

Mondo - I like his relationship with Ishimaru, they have such a good dynamic and I really appreciate it. His whole story with Chuck, too, was so pure and I really felt for him once I found out about it. Every once in a while, I’ll go on an Ishimondo craze and it’s all I can think about for the most part, and every time it happens, I end up watching episode five of the anime (the one where Mondo gets executed) and I cry every time. Not only is his punishment harsh, Ishimaru’s screams just kill me every time. I really need to stop rewatching that episode since it always makes me sad.

You’re the best:

Hagakure - I think the reason I like him so much is purely because of Danganronpa panels because all of the one’s I’ve seen with Hagakure are hysterical because of him. Unfortunately, my favorites were removed from YouTube recently and I’m really sad.

Togami - Fun little inside fact, whenever I start a new show, I’ll look at a picture of the main cast and guess which one is going to be my favorite. With Danganronpa, I guessed Togami and Ishimaru, so I was half right. I had no idea I was going to like Mondo so much, but my love for Togami kind of faded with time. He doesn’t really have specific moments, like with Ishimaru and Mondo and the sauna, he just has an overall tone that you remember. I still really like his cynical attitude, though.

Hey, I think you’re pretty cool, I like you a lot:

Chihiro - I think he (yes, he) is a well-written character. I liked his whole arc with Mondo where he wanted to become stronger and prove that he was even kind of a man. Other than the part where he was killed, obviously. He had a good backstory and I really enjoyed his character.

Kirigiri - She’s the typical sleuth, who I wouldn’t usually like, but she’s pulled off really well. She always raises a lot of questions, but still provides answers when they’re necessary. I liked her as the unofficial leader, although you could argue that Makoto or Togami was the unofficial leader, I still think it was her. She got them through most of the cases and made sure that everybody was on board. She always made sure that nothing was overlooked and that’s very admirable.

Makoto - He’s a good protagonist, bland and boring with a hint of sensibility. I don’t think I like him as a protagonist as much as Hinata, but he’s still good. I just think he’s a bit too bland and being the protagonist is his entire character, there’s not really anything else there.

Fukawa - I loved the red herring she introduced in the second case with Genocider Sho, not to mention the idea of Genocider in the first place. It was a lasting red herring that actually mattered later, which is what makes a red herring good instead of just a time waster.

Sayaka - I thought she was super nice and sweet at the beginning, but then, you know, she tried to murder Leon and blame it on Makoto, so that wasn’t the nicest or sweetest thing to do.

I remember you:

Celeste - She was pretty cool, I really liked her design, and her ultimate ability was a cool concept. But she indirectly killed Ishimaru, so...

Asahina - Her character centered on the fact that she loved donuts. And she survived.

Sakura - Her character was so good in theory, I just didn’t love how it was executed. However, she was noble and I respect that, I liked her character, but she didn’t leave much of an impression on me, other than the fact that she was strong.

Yamada - Again, a good concept, but I actually kind of liked how it was executed. But he seemed kind of bland to me and he actually directly killed Ishimaru, so...

You’re literally the worst. Actual scum. Leave this planet and never return.:

Monokuma - He put my babies through this hell and then they died. Yeah, not a big fan.

Leon - I honestly can’t describe why I hate him so much, but I do. I think he was just obnoxious and didn’t get a chance to redeem himself since he was killed third.

Fun fact in case you didn’t notice: Junko and Mukuro are missing. I don’t make these templates, I just take other peoples and change the orders, so it’s not my fault. I’m still not going to talk about them, though, because they aren’t on the list.

My definitive list of favorite characters from Danganronpa:

1. Ishimaru

I don’t need to decide on the rest, he’s all that matters. He’s just best boy.

[youngmrkusuma]

The Naekawa Project - Part 8: Lasting Impressions

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139919

Summary: In which Syo and Naegi meet for the first time. (Setting: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair)

AO3 Notes: Of the story subjects I’ve tackled so far, this one in particular has been the most requested by my readers. Since ‘Genocider Syo’s Excellent Adventure’ was pretty well-received, I felt a bit more confident in trying to write for everyone’s favourite serial killer again.

Speaking of which, this piece takes place after part 3 and before part 6. I am terribly sorry that the timeline for this series is so skewed. I didn’t plan any of this beforehand, you see. I hope you can bear with me. Just pretend like you’re watching Memento or something.

Features include: The longest dialogue sequence(s) I’ve ever had to write, dear God.

There was something strangely familiar about Naegi’s room.

That was the first thing that came to mind, the moment Fukawa stepped inside. Very odd indeed, since she had never actually set foot in here before. And, at the beginning, she had dismissed it as a mistake of some kind; Naegi’s room was very much like something you’d expect from the average person; a small work desk, a thin-curtained window, a cramped bookshelf, with no posters on the wall or clothes left lying carelessly on the ground. So maybe that sense of Déjà Vu came from having seen something like it in her mind’s eye, or from TV, or a book or something.

Yet that sense of familiarity only became stronger as she went further inside, carrying with her a stack of study notes and the day’s homework under arm. It deepened and grew until she was almost completely certain that, somehow – in spite of what logic denoted – this wasn’t just her imagination playing tricks on her.

She had been here before.

“I’ve been here before,” she said.

Naegi – lying in bed with a slowly receding fever – didn’t seem the least bit surprised by this information. Merely puzzled. “Um, yeah,” he said, his voice small and weak. “You kinda have. Sort of. It happened like… a year ago, I think?” He stopped to cough, covering his mouth. “Of course, you weren’t exactly yourself at the time…”

All at once, Fukawa was terribly confused. “A y-year ago?” She eyed her surroundings. “But… that can’t b-be right. You hadn’t even asked me o-out back then. How could I ha–”

A swatch of memory came to her, the second her gaze came to rest at his window. Fukawa hadn’t paid it much attention initially – hadn’t so much as touched it the whole time she was here – and yet somehow, she knew; it slid open smoothly and quietly, as long as you didn’t use too much force. A sturdy pipe ran along the side of it, all the way down to the ground floor. It was strong enough to support the weight of someone climbing it. And with something long and thin, you could jimmy the window’s lock right out of place…

Something long and thin.

Like a pair of scissors.

“…Syo?” Her eyes grew wide.

Her boyfriend nodded, smiling a little.

This was by no means the only time something like this had ever happened. By and large, hers and Syo’s memories were kept separate (Which, taking into account all of the vile repugnant things her other half got up to, was quite a mercy). But sometimes, there were tiny fragments that slipped through. And Fukawa would recall things she had never experienced.

“You know, we did talk about this before,” Naegi said. “Don’t you remember?”

Come to think of it, they actually did. Though it felt like a lifetime ago.

“I don’t think I went into the details, though,” he continued. “Didn’t Syo ever tell you about it?”

“N-no.” Her hands balled into fists. “S-She didn’t even think to mention it, that miserable bitch.” Then a wild thought occurred to Fukawa, turning her cheeks red. “Wait a sec, s-she came into your room! Don’t t-tell me that you and she–”

“No, no!” He cut her off, laughing a little. He had grown to expect this by now, it seemed. “Nothing like that. Geez, keep your mind out of the gutter. All she did was talk to me.”

“…T-Talk?”

“Yeah. She said she was curious about me or something.” He started to sit up in bed, wincing. Immediately, Fukawa was at his side, gently pushing him back down. Even with the AC on full blast, and with him apparently in nothing but a tank top and shorts, his skin was still very warm to touch.

Stomach flu, Naegi’s mother had explained, before Fukawa came up here. He’ll be fine in a day or two, dear. As long as he gets some rest.

“You’re s-supposed to be resting, dummy,” she chided.

“Sorry.” He sank back into his pillow. There was a washbasin on the stand next to his bed, half filled with cold water and a soaked cloth. She grabbed the cloth, wrung it twice and lay it over his forehead.

“…So… then, that w-was how you found out about her?” She asked. “W-when she came here?”

“Mm-hm,” he continued. “Scared the hell out of me at first, to be honest. Here’s how it happened–”

*

Spring of 2015. Two hours past midnight.

Busting into the Naegi residence hadn’t been anywhere near as fun as Syo would have liked. Compared to every other hunt she had gone out on, this was too damn easy! It was pretty insulting and – in a strange sort of way – almost embarrassing. Like being made to use a kiddie tricycle after years of professional bike racing. Half the entertainment of these escapades was in the challenge; having to move fast while remaining unseen… having to plan an escape route in case things went south… chasing down cuties when they tried to make a run for it…

There was none of that here. No witnesses to look out for, no getaway options to take note of, no nothing! Just a bit of legwork to get up to that window and that was that. Lame. Though, to be fair, maybe Syo should have expected this, since she wasn’t out for blood this time (though she came armed all the same). No, this was just a little excursion. Meant to answer two burning questions.

Who was Tou-chan’s latest crush, and what did she see in him?

Little Miss Gloomy had made great mention of him many times in her diary. Almost as much as she wrote about Byakuya-sama, in fact. Initially, it was nothing flattering – mainly stuff about how he kept talking to her at school and acted nice to her. She had called him nosy. She had called him irritating. She had whined about how he wouldn’t just leave her alone (all while also complaining about how alone she was). In one particularly spiteful entry on a very rough day, she called him a blood-sucking sycophant.

And then things began to change. She wrote about how he was different from her other classmates. She wrote about how surprisingly kind he was. She began expressing doubts about whether or not he was doing this to trick her. And then one day she wrote – happily – that he had called her his friend. Not that he’d want to be anything more than that, she made sure to include after.

Syo had rolled her eyes reading it. Tou-chan could act all tsun-tsun if she wanted, but Syo wasn’t fooled. And she didn’t need to share feelings with her to know. Whoever this Makoto Naegi was, Touko was falling for him. Falling harder than she had for almost anyone else. There was only one other boy she had gotten the hots for this badly, except that didn’t end well, did it?

Up until this point, Byakuya-sama was the only thing that had occupied her thoughts. Now, he had been dethroned by someone else, though Touko wouldn’t admit it to herself.

So! Who was this wonderful, magnificent specimen that had somehow managed to snatch her gaze away from her beloved White Knight? Was he handsome? Sexy?? He had to be. Byakuya-sama was one glorious hunk of a man; this new contender had to be at least as good-looking, right?

Syo licked her lips, slipping in through the window. She couldn’t wait to find out.

Nothing about his room at a glance suggested he was anything special. And it wasn’t like this place was a mansion, so this guy probably wasn’t rich (His family might have bothered with sturdier locks, otherwise. Seriously; any jackass with the right tools could have broken in here if they wanted to). None of Tou-chan’s diary entries gave any clue about what drew her to him, except that he was real sweet on her. Maybe if she had a closer look…

She slinked over to his bedside, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. There was a penlight in her pocket, but she wasn’t about to start shining that into his face like some fucking moron. That would wake him up for sure, and she couldn’t have that. Ideally, this was just going to be a quick recon. Look but don’t touch. She moved in closer for a better view.

Messy, hazel-brown hair. Soft, delicate features. Judging by the form beneath his blanket, he wasn’t very tall or athletic either. She observed him for about a minute more, then quietly sighed.

This was the guy Tou-chan was falling for? Syo couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Yeah, he was kind of cute, in that huggable teddy bear sort of way, but honestly? He looked really plain. Not bad-looking, of course, but still. He was certainly not attractive enough to compare with Byakuya-sama. Hell, he didn’t even hold up that well compared to any of Syo’s previous conquests.

She closed her eyes and thought about doing him nice and slow in her standard fashion, hands drifting to her skirt. She imagined him with an expression of pure agony on his face. Imagined what it would feel like to plunge a blade deep into his flesh. Imagined burying her arms elbow-deep into all that blood and guts, then leaving it all for his parents to find. It just didn’t do it for her.

As a matter of fact, she found the idea… repulsive. Not in a physical sense, but an emotional one. Somehow, she didn’t want to hurt him. Not even a little.

A smile crossed her lips. Tou-chan must have cared about him very much then. Who’d have guessed?

Then again, if they were already friends, that made sense. Gloomy didn’t have a lot of those.

Well, either way, Syo wasn’t about to learn any more about him by standing there, gawking like a fish. Her attention turned to his bookshelf as she began to grin. Kind-hearted or not, Mako-chan over here was most definitely a growing boy. And all growing boys had, well… interests. Whether it was porno-mags or ero-doujins, the back of one’s bookshelf was more often than not a safe haven for such scandalous materials. At least, that was how it always happened in manga. Wouldn’t it have been amusing indeed if she found something naughty back there? Mm-mmm. You could learn a lot about a man from his taste in smut. She pulled out the penlight from her pocket and started inspecting.

And here came another disappointment. The shelf was flush against the wall. No space behind it to hide anything. The contents of the shelf were barely worth mentioning either. Textbooks, notepads, a series of YA novels… She got a bit excited when she saw manga, but it was just the standard Shonen Jump stuff. Boring. Two of Gloomy’s bestsellers were there, but she didn’t give a crap about that (Tou-chan would probably have been delighted at this information, she supposed).

“The hell, this guy’s as basic as a piece of cardboard,” she whispered aloud. What a let-down. Couldn’t there be at least something to make this trip entertaining? She was getting bored out of her skull.

His desk was next. None of the drawers were locked, and there was nothing juicy inside. Double boring. This guy was a total normie, maybe even more so than other normies. Like one of those Buddhist Koans; so normal that he wasn’t.

Heh. Guess that technically counted as something interesting.

In any case, the wardrobe was the only thing left that she hadn’t explored. Her expectations were low by this point. After everything else, it seemed unlikely that she’d find something in there worth her–

She heard the creak of bedsprings. A rustle of fabric. And the flicker of a lamp.

“Wh… Who’s there?”

Her instincts were immediate. Barely a second had gone by before she was across the room, her hand around the boy Naegi’s mouth and the blade of her scissors at his neck. Damn it, this had gone sideways in record time. She had gotten careless.

“Mhfm!!” He went rigid.

“Shh…” she crooned softly. “Not a sound, sweetie. I’d hate to make a mess out of you when we’ve only just met.” She suppressed the urge to cackle with a vicious grin.

Naegi’s eyes went wide. Now here was something remarkable! Those eyes of his were rather pretty. Not quite enough to make him stand out, perhaps, but they did make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You could get lost in all that green. Tou-chan’s attraction to him was starting to make a bit more sense.

More importantly, though, this was trouble. He had seen her. And unfortunately for him, the most practical solution to the problem, like it or not, was for her to slit his throat and disappear. So far, there were no other witnesses. This house was completely silent, meaning that they were the only ones here awake. No one would ever know it was her. Except for Touko, of course.

But Syo wasn’t about to do that. She didn’t want to.

So maybe it was best to appeal to his good nature instead. Convince him not to say a word. And possibly learn a little something about Makoto while she was at it.

“I’m gonna take my hand away now,” she said. “Keep your voice down and you won’t get hurt. Understand?”

He blinked twice, then nodded slowly.

“Good boy.” Syo removed her hand but held the blade steady. By now, Naegi’s expression was no longer one of shock, but recognition.

“…Fukawa… san?”

“Close, but no cigar, pipsqueak.” She said, grinning wider. “She’s a mutual acquaintance, though.”

Then came confusion. And fear. “Mutual… acquaintance? What is all this? Who are you? What do you want??” Poor boy looked about ready to faint.

“No need to get antsy now, I just wanna chat.”

“…Chat?”

“Chat.” She lowered the blade slightly, just enough to give him some breathing space. “A little birdy told me that you and Tou-chan have been getting real close lately.”

Relief. His fingers drifted to his neck where her scissors had been, and he relaxed a little.

“Yeah. We have,” he said. “At least I think we have. Honestly, it’s so hard to tell with her…”

He tensed up suddenly and there was anger. “Wait a minute, what the hell is going on here? What have you done with her??”

“Whoa, whoa,” she brought the scissor blade up again, laughing. “Settle down, hero.” He backed down, but the anger stayed. That was genuine concern from him. What a guy! Thinking more about Tou-chan than he was about himself. Syo had to admit; that was kinda hot.

“She’s perfectly fine,” she said. “Can’t you tell? You’re looking right at her.”

There was confusion again. “Wha…?”

“Pretty slow, aren’t ya? That’s okay; I’ll explain it to you. Without any big words.” She giggled. “Tou-chan and I are roommates,” she poked at her temple, “up here. And she isn’t in right now. Get the picture?”

He stared at her uncomprehendingly for a few seconds, then understood.

“D.I.D,” he said. “You’re her split personality.”

“Correctamundo. And you’re all she’s been thinking about recently. Aren’t you flattered?”

This must have been a lot to take in for someone who had only just woken up from sleep. Especially with a beautiful, saucy murderess distracting you with her feminine charms. Syo could almost hear the cogs in Naegi’s mind, turning slowly. Shaking off cobwebs and rust. Trying to piece everything together. She waited a few moments for him to gather his thoughts.

“What do you mean by ‘thinking about me’?”

She giggled again. “What do you think I mean, sweetie?”

Naegi’s cheeks slowly turned red as he tried to speak and faltered. It took him three attempts before he could actually say something.

“N-no… that can’t be right,” he rambled. “I mean, there’s no way! She’s already… but then again, maybe… I…” A bashful smile crept across his face. He seemed to have forgotten that a stranger had just broken into his house and started threatening him.

“Fukawa-san… likes me?”

“She sure does, lover boy. Of course, knowing her, she probably doesn’t realise it yet.”

Syo watched as the cogs turned again. Creek. Creek.

“Well… then, how do you know?” He asked. “Maybe you’ve made a mistake.”

“Uh, because we’re roommates?” She replied, as if it should have been obvious. “Here’s how it works, Mako-chan. Can I call you Mako-chan? Sure, I can. Okay, so! Tou-chan and I don’t share memories – All girls need to keep their secrets, you see – but her feelings come through to me all the time. Don’t know why that is, but basically, I know exactly how Little Miss Gloomy feels about the people around her.”

“And you…” she said, “boy oh boy, you… Helping her out when she drops her stuff, chatting it up with her like she isn’t a complete bore, giving her pep talks when she’s down… You’re her newest Prince Charming! Which brings me to my next point.”

Her face hardened. “What’s your game, kid? What are you trying to pull?”

“Pull?”

“Tou-chan’s diary says she told you about her past. No one’s ever chummy with her unless they want something.” Her scissors pressed into the underside of his chin. “Which is it for you? A prank? Lost bet? A desperate, easy lay–”

“It’s not like that!” He snapped. The anger had returned. “I would never, ever do anything like that to her.” Then his tone softened, becoming concerned. “Is that what she still believes? That I’m trying to hurt her?”

Syo studied him for several seconds, her gaze staying locked with his. Neither of them looked away.

Then she eased up, smiling.

“No,” she said. “Tou-chan doesn’t believe that, Ma-kun. And neither do I.” She put the scissors away for good, back into the sling pouch she kept on her thigh. “Guys tend to spill their guts pretty quick whenever I start squeezing. As far as I can tell, you’re telling the truth.” All at once, the tension in the room had disappeared. Naegi had calmed down, though he did still seem wary of her.

“I don’t get it, though,” she said. “If it isn’t for kicks and it isn’t for her body, then what are you hanging out with frumpy old Tou-chan for? Don’t you know there’re less lamer people you could be spending your time with?”

“Fukawa-san isn’t lame!” He pouted. “Her writing is incredible. She’s so talented…” his eyes became starry. “She’s really not that bad once you get to know her.”

“Uh, objection! I know her better than you, Ma-kun, and she really is that bad. She’s bland, she’s boring…”

“No, she’s not!”

“Yes, she is!”

“No, she’s not!” He folded his arms. “Besides, aren’t you supposed to be a part of her or something? You’re just insulting yourself at this point.”

“Pfft,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Wrong again! I happen to be the only part of her that’s cool, sweetie. You should be grateful that you got to meet me. Anyway, we’re getting way off topic. Why’d you end up being all buddy-buddy with her?”

“Why?” Naegi appeared to ponder before answering. His expression became sad and forlorn.

“Because she looked like she needed a friend.” He said, quietly. “Everyone deserves a friend.”

“Aha! So, it’s pity?”

“No!” His voice had gotten loud. He brought it back down. “I mean, fine, yeah. In the beginning, that’s what it was. I felt bad for her. She always seemed so lonely. But things are different now.”

“Hmm? How so?”

“I’m friends with her because I like being around her,” he said. “I like seeing her smile. I like seeing her laugh. You might think she’s lame, but I think she’s amazing. I’ve never met anyone like her.”

Syo let out an amused huff. This boy really was like Tou-chan had described in her diary. A bit soft in the head, perhaps (you’d need to be if you could put up with someone like her), but nice. Nicer than her diary said, even. And he wasn’t faking it. For the first time in God knows how long, Touko had finally met someone who was genuinely good to her. There was only one thing left to find out.

“And how do you feel about her crushing on you?”

“Eeh?” He was blushing again. “…Um, before I answer–”

“Assume that I’m right,” she said. “How do you feel?”

Naegi looked about ready to die from embarrassment. “I… um, well… uh.” He fell silent for a minute or so.

“…How long has she felt this way?”

“Tsk, rude! Answering a question with a question.” Syo was clearly enjoying this. “Hard to say for sure. It probably wasn’t a specific moment, but it might have been when you started calling her your friend.”

Naegi’s eyes widened. “That was months ago!” Surprise turned to sympathy. “That means that… this whole time… Fukawa-san…” He bit his lip. “I never thought I stood a chance. If I had known sooner, I would have asked her out by now.”

“So that’s your answer.”

“Y-Yeah.” His blush got deeper. “I mean, she’s always been cute. And if she wouldn’t mind having me…”

“Heh, of course she’s cute, sugar. Just look at who she’s sharing a body with!” She ran a hand along her braids and tossed them. “Anyway, what are you going to do now?”

“Ask her out, I suppose.” He let out a nervous laugh. “God, I’ve got no idea how to even start.” An idea came into his head. “Hey, you know everything about her, right? Couldn’t you lend me a h–”

“Nope!” She chuckled, before clapping his shoulder. “Sorry, hero. That’d be cheating. If it’s ever going to mean anything, you’re gonna have to woo her all by yourself, fair and square. Besides! Aren’t you besties with her? Just go talk to her or something.”

He made as if to protest, then decided against it. “…Yeah. You might be right about that.” He smiled at her. “Thanks for telling me. I don’t think I would have worked it out for myself if you hadn’t. Say, you didn’t come all the way out here just to tell me that, did you?”

“Hmm? Nah.” She smiled back. “I came here to learn all about you, Mako-chan!” She told him about Fukawa’s diary.

“…and so I said to myself, woowie! This guy must be a real hottie if he could get her over Byakuya-sama!” She chirruped. “Course, you turned out to be a huge let-down in the looks department.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, you ought to be grateful for that, Ma-kun. Trust me.” She winked at him. “Anyway, that reminds me; I need a tinny-tiny favour from you.”

“What’s that?”

She put a finger to her lip. “Keep this little encounter of ours a secret, yeah? You can tell Tou-chan about it if you want, but no one else. Things might get… troublesome for both her and me if people know I exist. Don’t get any clever ideas about talking to some Doctor to get us a psych-eval, either.”

“Um…” Naegi scratched the back of his head. “No offense, but wouldn’t that be for the best? I mean, D.I.D is a very severe condition. It can’t be healthy for either of you to live like this.”

Cheeky little monkey. He’d been thinking that after all. Looks like Syo was going to have to scare the notion out of him. Her grin became vicious once more.

“You never did ask me my name, did you, Mako-chi?” She said. “That’s some pretty bad manners, you know?”

A minute later and the tension had returned, stronger than ever. Naegi’s cheeks were completely ashen.

“You… y-you’re…”

“That’s right, sugar. I am. Breathe a word of this to anyone, and who knows what would happen? The police might come knocking at my door, and Gloomy’s life might become that much gloomier. She might end up in a padded cell. Or Jail. Or worse, community service! You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

Timidly: “N-no…”

“No,” She said, sombrely. “You wouldn’t. That’s because you’re a good boy, aren’t you, Mako-chi? All the other boys Gloomy fell for, they didn’t have much else going for them other than their looks, but you’re different. You really do care about her, don’t you?”

He said nothing.

“Sure you do. You’re just too shy to admit it.” Her tone turned jovial. “Oh, don’t look so glum! I don’t kill anymore, if it really bothers you that much.”

He blinked. “You don’t?”

“Nope! I’m on hiatus! Sort of. Been that way for more than a year now. Tell you what, Ma-kun. If we ever meet again, I’ll give you a more detailed explanation.” She stretched her arms out like a cat and yawned. “For now, it’s getting late and I need my beauty sleep. I’ll leave you with one last bit of advice.”

She looked at him affectionately. “Tou-chan would probably start going on about how risky it is for you to be around her if you talk to her about tonight. All you have to know for now is that I’ve got no intention of hurting you. Tell her that. If she doesn’t believe you, ask her to hit me up. I’ll set the record straight.” It’d be the exact same deal as with Byakuya-sama, Syo would say.

He nodded, uncertain. “…okay.”

“You can also tell her that I could have killed you any time I wanted, but I didn’t.” She laughed as he turned paler. “So, both you and her can trust me.” Syo turned to leave.

“Wait!” He said. “How do I know this isn’t some kind of trick?”

“Ooh, paranoid, are we?” She snickered. “Here’s the kicker, Ma-kun. You don’t.” In an instant, her hand went for his bedside lamp and shut it off, rendering the room dark once more. “Sleep tight!” She said.

By the time Naegi had registered what was happening, she was gone.

*

Most of the next day had gone by in a daze for Fukawa. She felt as if she had gotten no sleep at all the previous night. This did not bode well. From her experience, Syo’s nightly activities were the usual cause of this fatigue. It had been awhile since that wretched woman had last emerged, and there had been no news reports of murders for a long time, but who’s to say it hadn’t been her?

She was probably up making scissors again, Fukawa tried to tell herself. Or watching anime. Or reading that disgusting Yaoi garbage online. Syo had done these sorts of things many times in the past, after all. And there were no new scars on her thigh when she checked this morning. No reason to assume that she claimed another victim, right?

She dug her nails into the palm of her hand, willing herself not to think about it.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Fukawa whispered aloud, taking a deep breath. God, who the fuck did she think she was fooling? Since when did anything ever turn out fine?

“It might not have even been her.” This much was true. Perhaps the stresses of school, her authorial career and her family life were taking their physical toll. People simply weren’t meant to deal with this sort of pressure. But her gut was telling her otherwise. Something’s happened, her instincts told her. And Syo was a part of it, somehow.

The school bell jarred her out of her reverie. Although she could have sworn she drifted off for just five minutes at the very most, a whole hour long lesson had passed her by. Around her, Fukawa’s classmates stood from their desks and made to leave as their teacher made his closing remarks. “You’ll want to get started on your assignments ASAP, ladies and gents,” he said. “Believe me, there’s a lot of ground you’ll need to cover.” He swept up his things and left.

Fukawa lifted her glasses and rubbed her eyes. More than anything, what she wanted right now was to get some rest. She started packing her books in to her bag. By the time she was done, the classroom was almost completely empty. There was only one other student aside from her, and she didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“Um… Fukawa-san?” Naegi said. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“O-Of course there is,” she sighed. “Alright, what is it?”

Naegi looked around the classroom, as if scanning for anyone who might be listening. His voice was quiet.

“I…uh,” he scratched his head, “God, how do I put this… I had a visit from someone we both know last night.”

Her heart sank immediately. Without him having to elaborate, she knew who he meant. Vaguely, against the tide of raw panic in her mind, she heard him say the name ‘Syo’.

The worst had finally happened. Somebody found out the truth. Her life was over. Everyone would know, and she’d face judgement for crimes she never committed.

Except things didn’t add up. Why was he telling her about this instead of simply going to the police? The last thing he should want is to warn her about his intentions, lest she try and stop him. This conversation had no reason to happen, unless…

Her mind came to the simplest conclusion.

“T-this is blackmail, isn’t it?” She said, meekly. “Y-You want money. Or s-something else entirely.” Unconsciously, she drew her arms across her chest protectively and shrank back.

“No, no!” Naegi raised his hands shoulder-high. Gently: “Fukawa-san, you know me. I’d never do that to you. And I’m not going to tell anyone else, either.”

The fear in her eyes wavered a little. “Then, w-why bring this up at all?”

“I just thought that maybe you needed somebody to talk to about it.”

She could have sworn she misheard him. “Wha…?”

“You must’ve been carrying this burden all by yourself, right?” He said sympathetically. “I mean, it’s not like there was anyone you could turn to without getting into trouble. That must have been so terrible for you.”

Fukawa had no idea how to respond. This was the absolute last thing she would have expected. Why wasn’t he afraid of her? Why wasn’t he calling her a murderer or a freak? Why was he still bothering with being nice to her?

Didn’t he know any better?

“Naegi, i-if you k-know about her,” she said, trembling, “then you know it’s d-dangerous to be around me now. There’s no telling what she’ll do. Please, you have to–”

“Yeah, about that.” He told her about Syo’s parting advice.

“And you believe her??” Fukawa had become exasperated. “Y-You can’t honestly be that naïve! There’s no way she can be trusted!”

“Maybe so,” his response was strangely calm, “but either way, I can’t just leave you alone with this.”

He stepped closer, much to her surprise.

“Listen, as far as I can see, you’re in trouble. You’ve been in trouble for a long time now, and nobody was ever around to help.” There was conviction in his eyes. “But I’m here now. Maybe it’s dangerous and maybe I’ll get hurt, but I can’t just sit around and do nothing while you suffer. I don’t know if there is anything I can do to help with this, but you’re my friend. And I want to at least try, okay?”

There it was. That word again. Friend. He still thought of her as a friend. In spite of all the verbal barbs she had thrown his way. In spite of how awkward and anti-social she was. In spite of what he had learnt about her murderous other half. Naegi still thought of her that way. Anyone else would have given up on her long ago, yet here he was.

That must have been so terrible for you, he had said. Naegi had no idea how right he was. Nor could he know how grateful she now was that – finally – after so long, she had somebody that actually tried to understand.

She realized she was crying.

(Fukawa-san…?)

“I…” she faltered, not knowing what to say. Her tears fell heavier. “I…”

He pulled her into an embrace. (Fukawa-san?) Her heart felt like it was ready to burst – the way it did recently whenever she was around him – and she hugged him back, squeezing tight.

“We’ll figure something out,” he said. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

She wanted very badly to believe that. That there was still hope for her. But how could she? (Can you hear me?) Things always went wrong for her. And she didn’t see what he could possibly do that would solve the problem. Sure, Naegi was willing to stand by her side now, but when he learnt just how little he could do for her, he would leave. No matter what he said. And that was assuming Syo didn’t wind up killing him first.

It wasn’t fair. He was her only true friend, one she had grown to care deeply about. And no matter which way this went, she was going to end up losing him–

 “Fukawa-san!”

And suddenly, Fukawa was back in the cool conditioned air of Naegi’s room, hovering over his bed, while her boyfriend – sick with fever – eyed her curiously from beneath the sheets. She blinked, feeling disoriented.

“You were spacing out for a moment there,” he said, amused. “Is everything alright?”

She took a deep breath, allowing herself to collect her scattered thoughts, then shook her head.

“Y-yeah,” she said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Everything’s fine.”

Everything’s fine, she thought. Just as she had told herself it would be, that afternoon in Spring. And just as Naegi had promised. Who’d have guessed that they’d be right?

“What were you thinking about?”

She considered telling him, then shrugged. “Old stuff. N-nothing important.”

Naegi’s story hadn’t taken long to finish. Syo snuck in through his window, ran her mouth off about some asinine horseshit and asked him her stupid questions. As Fukawa listened, more memory fragments bled through. She could recall some of the observations Syo had made about the bookshelf and desk, as well as her theory about Naegi possibly having hidden salacious paraphernalia somewhere around here (That ridiculous woman hadn’t thought to search under Naegi’s bed, apparently. Fukawa was of half a mind to do it herself). On the subject of Syo unmasking her true feelings, Naegi had made a joke.

“You know, you and I kinda owe her for getting us together,” he said. She had responded by rolling her eyes.

“I refuse to t-thank her for a g-goddamn thing.”

Occasionally, he paused to cough or have her check to make sure no one was outside to hear any of the more compromising details. They were undisturbed. When the story ended, Fukawa found herself thinking back to how their relationship began.

He had stayed with her this whole time. Whether as her friend, or as her boyfriend, he had always been there. Finding out that she had a fucking serial killer cooped up inside her skull hadn’t been enough to scare him away. Here they were one year later, despite the odds, still going strong. He could have and should have gone with someone else already, yet he hadn’t, for reasons entirely beyond her.

Stupid boy, she thought fondly. Crazy, stupid boy.

Fukawa heard him chuckle. “Someone’s in a good mood,” he said.

“What do you m-mean?”

“You’re smiling.”

Ah. She hadn’t been aware of it until he said so. When he asked why, she cupped his cheek tenderly. She took her time deciding how best to say what she wanted to say.

“Has a-anyone ever told you,” she asked, after a full minute, “that sometimes you’re too n-nice for your own good?”

Naegi laughed. “Yeah. You do. All the time. Where’s this coming from?”

“Nowhere,” she gave him a quick peck on the forehead, stroking his hair. They shared a moment of comfortable silence.

“Hurry up and get better already,” Fukawa said. “It’s lonely at school without you.”

End Notes: On the topic of reader requests, one of my anons was hoping that the unveiling of Syo’s identity might lead to Fukawa crying and Makoto hugging her and promising that everything will be alright. I’ve kind of done that here, and I hope it turned out satisfactory. (Good lord, that was last year. Where did all the time go?)

I also took a bit of liberty with how Fukawa’s and Syo’s memory retention works for the purpose of the story. Hope that’s okay too.

[tsuki-sennin]

My honest opinions on the cast of DR1, as well as dumb nicknames I had for each one. (Spoilers, maybe.)

Makoto (The Main Boi): He fine. Both in the looks and character department. He represents the audience so that anyone can project themselves onto him, but he has just enough character to keep him from just being an observer/the resident Phoenix Wright. Rather fittingly, I didn’t have any strong feelings on Bryce Papenbrook before this game, but as I got to hear him talk more and more, I grew to really like him thanks to Makoto. Good job, man.

Hifumi (Random Nerd): Even after all these years, I still don’t like him. I just don’t. Matter of fact, I don’t think anyone did. Lucien Dodge deserved better than this guy. He’s got a killer tie, however.

Leon (Man who looks like he’s 20 more than the guy who actually is 20): He’s cool, but I honestly don’t like him either. He has a sick design, but I really wish I could’ve heard him try singing in game. Even if it sucked, I’d have loved to hear him try and move beyond his baseball problem.

Sayaka (Discount Maya Fey): T-H-O-T! Okay, I’ll knock her back up to the one who first caused me despair. I was pretty iffy on the game at first, but she convinced me to stick around once the first case came around. Still not a fan of her voice, with no disrespect towards Dorothy Elias Fahn intended.

Toko/Genocide(r) Jack/Jill/Sho/Syo (Novella, which I guess was a reference to Misao, and Man-Eater): BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! FUCKING BOW BEFORE HER, YOU SUBHUMAN TRESH! I WILL GLADLY DIE TO HER! AND I WILL GLADLY BE GREEN WITH ENVY AT THE MEN SHE WRITES! Amanda Celine Miller and Erin Fitzgerald really made this literary cutie come into her own in a game with such good female characters already.

Kiyotaka (AP Buttfucking): You know that no-fun motherfucker in your class with a stick shoved up his asshole, and every class he has is AP? That was Kiyotaka for me the first time I played the game. I just couldn’t stand him, even long after I got to know him. I barely felt a thing when he got bludgeoned. Yet despite this, for some reason, I got really pissed when I learned that Hifumi and Celestia were responsible for his death. Maybe that was when I realized how admirable this guy really was.

Aoi (Baywatch): She’s awesome, definitely. Not only is she relatable, but her interactions with Sakura were a real highlight for me.

Mondo (Kuwabara): Now him, I liked through and through. I was already a fan of Keith Silverstein, but the way he pulled off the tough guy act was a damn riot to watch. Chris Sabat in the anime was also a joy to listen to.

Mukuro (Regina/The Boss): I wish we got to know her a bit more than we got to, but she’s great too. Tied for second-best girl, in fact. Guess Amanda Celine Miller strikes again.

Junko (Charlotte the Harlot): Gotta be honest, I feel Junko’s sadism in hindsight. She’s a damn good main villain, and her design just makes me just go wild. Amanda Celine Miller and Erin Fitzgerald strike again with their god-tier voice talent, but Jamie Marchi’s interpretation is just as awesome. And Monokuma is fucking hilarious, if not disturbing. The other half of the tie for second-best girl.

Chihiro (Miss Shrimp/Mister Shrimp): As soon as I realized that this boi, voiced by Dorothy Elias Fahn, who had spent the whole first chapter of this game convincing me that he was a chick, was a dude, I was like “...why am I not turned off by him?” And from that day onward I blamed him for my interest in pretty men. Alter Ego is pretty great too.

Kyoko (Naoto Jr.): OMFG I LOVE HER. SHE’S SO AWESOME AND I WANT HER TO FUCKING THROTTLE MY NECK WITH HER BEAUTIFUL HANDS. THIS WOMAN IS A BOSS-ASS BITCH, AND SHE GETS SHIT DONE BECAUSE OF IT. NAEGI IS SMASHING THIS WOMAN, AND FRANKLY I FUCKING ENVY HIM! Erika Harlacher gave her the perfect voice, and Caitlin Glass just... BARELY falls short.

Celestia (Killer Queen): This woman just... scares me. Marieve Herington really did well here, but... something about her just... made my skin crawl. I didn’t feel that way with anyone else, not even Hifumi, but when I pieced together that she was responsible for Kiyotaka’s death, she made me swear to avenge my bro who I never appreciated. So I suppose Marie Antoinette has that going for her.

Hagakure (Cheech and Chong... no, I didn’t know his VA was Asian, so SHUSH): I didn’t like him much, similarly to Kiyotaka, but he won me over with funny dialogue and how relatable his thought process was to mine at the time. Even if I wanted Chihiro to live more, I can live with him being alive.

Sakura (Akuma): Her interactions with Aoi are great, and you could grind meat on those muscles. She’s so cool too, and I legitimately cried when I found her dead, and even more-so when I realized why she killed herself.

Byakuya (Japanese Malfoy): ...I tolerated him... I dealt with him... I developed a mutual understanding with him... I didn’t like him, and even from in front of the screen I could tell he didn’t like me. That was fine by me. But the fact that this was the guy who Toko wanted made me angry, and it was because of that I declared him my rival. I swore that once we got out of Hope’s Peak, I would personally track him down and fight him... at least until I met the rest of his family through supplementary material and now... I just feel bad he’s related to such bland/boring characters when he is so much more interesting and likable. So yeah, I have no quarrel with you, Jason Wishnov/Josh Grelle... fuck your family though.

...I might make a follow up with Super Dangan Ronpa 2, if this gets any traction.

[book-pirate]

I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN UP FOR 31 HOURS BUT WE’RE HERE WE’VE ARRIVED DEATHLY HALLOWS PT 2 Y’ALL

- 10 points from slytherin for snape looking dramatically out at the courtyard - Ah griphook you have changed so much from vern troyer to warwick davis amazing - “the wand chooses the wizard” means the wand can think wtf did you think it meant - hermione trying to walk in heels as bellatrix is literally me - my ace dragon-loving son Charlie Weasley lives on in Ron’s continued extensive knowledge of dragons - you would never know harry knows what the horcrux is if you had never read the book. instead it looks like he has a spidey-sense for it. fucking movies - “i’ve got something but it’s mad” have i mentioned i love her - somewhere charlie weasley is smiling - oh my god they’re soooooo pale - “we plan and all hell breaks loose” that’s it that’s all 7 books summed up - WHERE’S THE GODDAMN CLOAK YOU STUPID IDIOTS REASON #17 - THERE’S STILL NO EXPLANATION FOR THE MIRROR - god aberforth is just draaagggggiiiiinnnnngggggg his brother amazing - “i trusted the man i knew” okay but why - NEVILLE MY BOY - “i need your help” “for what” “i don’t know” seriously dazzling me with your wit here - ron is so disappointed ginny doesn’t care about him lmao - RIP alan rickman i miss him every day - WALK IN TO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP I GOT A BIG WAND - YES MINNIE GO MINNIE WHAT A BAMF - what the movies don’t tell you is she got SIX STUNNING SPELLS TO THE CHEST IN YEAR 5 YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER - “YOU BLITHERING IDIOT” there go allllllll minnie’s fucks - “escort all the slytherins to the dungeons” alright this is bullshit and has got to stop - seriously can i just have an entire movie devoted to mcgonagall - and luna. “you listen to me right now harry potter!” iconic - helena get over yourself seriously WE’RE TRYING TO STOP GENOCIDE - “who said that” “me, right now” alright remus calm down - FRED AND GEORGE I LOVE YOU - oh neville. you’re going to regret that in 15 minutes - i still don’t understand how horcruxes are made release the information rowling! - also i thought voldy couldn’t feel the deaths of his bits of soul anymore because he’s less human whatever the movies make no sense - aw cuties - oh noooo, ooooohhhhhh nooooooooooooooo - MAKE IT GO BOOM INDEED - how you gonna kill stone my dudes? - RUN FLITWICK RUN - oh neville sweetie don’t worry you’re gonna make it! you’re one of the 25% that do - omg the room of requirement hermione it exists god do boys make you stupid - haha good fucking luck trying to find that thing harry - they should’ve kept the tiara on a bust with a wig instead of a box like in the books - edge lord Draco strikes again - Goyle is stupid dumb. Fucking Fyndefire or whatever it is. We have a new winner for idiot of Hogwarts, finally displacing Harry Potter, previously in the number one spot - Yeah, because what Voldy really needs right now is to be killing off his supporters - you know i feel like harry is getting some pretty big mixed signals. do you want him in voldy’s mind or not make up your goddamn minds - This just in, Lucius is still a lil bitch - OLIVER WOOD SIGHTING THIS IS NOT A DRILL - oh nooo oh nooo oh no no nooooo - RIP lavender you’re definitely dead - ABERFORTH REDEMPTION ARC - “do you know who this wand answers to?” yeah harry potter you bitch - unpopular opinion snape deserved to die and is a fucking mother fucking fuckboy whose obsession with lily landed harry in this mess in the first place - FRED NO - AND STILL NO PERCY REDEMPTION SCENE BULLSHIT - no no no no no no - JK Rowling could apologize every day of my life an I’d still never be okay - TBH snape’s memories in the movie are very rosy-colored like where’s the part where he called her a mudblood? this is some bullshit - listen according to these flashbacks he does NOT have her eyes jesus - lily wanted NOTHING to do with snape and he fucking rocks her dead body??????????? i am disgusted - and in front of her crying son??????????????? wtf - people stan snape? can’t relate - “after all this time?” “always” is the creepiest exchange i’m ever heard in my life full stop end of sentence - this walk to his death was supposed to be a lot more emotional but whatever the book is dead i guess - oh shit remus has a son???? you’d never know from these fucking movies - ooohhhhhhh noooooooooooo hagrid you deserve better - oh that’s gross gross gross grossssss - “actually if i think about it, it doesn’t seem curious at all” OF COURSE BECAUSE SNAPE WAS AN OBSESSIVE MOTHER FUCKER SO HIS PATRONUS CHANGED TO COPY LILY’S INSTEAD OF BE ITS MATE LIKE JAMES’S WAS GODDAMN FUCK SNAPE - Narcissa putting her son above voldy is something i have to give her props for since Lucius doesn’t seem able to do so - fucking wish they’d show how voldy can’t hurt them since harry ‘died’ for them - IN THE BOOKS DRACO REFUSES TO WALK OVER AND THEN THROWS HARRY A WAND FUCK THIS - YES NEVILLE YES - Narcissa is literally like Draco come Lucius idgaf about you which is A+ on her part - you know I really would’ve preferred the book ending to this light show but w/e again i have to lower my standards - we get it voldy and harry are alike you don’t have to give me visuals - HELLS YEAH NEVILLE THAT’S MY BOY - aww that’s the harry/hagrid reunion i love to see - lmao filch it’s useless man give it up - could u not have fixed ur OG wand first like christ man - Albus Severus whomst? I think you mean Arthur Rubeus

What a ride. 20 hours roughly

Movie: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[monkey-network]

Two Cent Riffs: My Little Pony Movie, BAYBEE

#BackAtItAgain #TSPOILERS #PonyCinemassacre

Julien: Why is it “The Movie”? It can just be “My Little Pony”. We all should know this version and the superior version that was the 80s. Roy: Excuse me? Julien: Hey, the Smooze song made that movie for me.

Roy: Man, I’ll never stop liking stain glass windows. Julien: Hold up. Twilight has wings? ...Okay, I have missed a lot apparently. Roy: Yeah, but it’s nothing to worry............. Julien: I can sense a pause. What’s up? Roy: Oh, I’m just getting flashbacks....of people bitching online [shudders]

Julien: AH YES, MOVE the sun, and MOVE it back. Roy: Doesn’t seem like a big deal for this celebration. We’re just depriving people from some possibly needed sunlight and fucking with the tides to sooth the feng shui of it. Julien: Can I call the “Pony Privilege” card?

Julien: Huh, I forgot Applejack existed. Roy: She’s a main character, bruh. Julien: Yeah, it the background. Am I right lads, or am I right lads? Dom: “You’re all right, lad.” Julien: Cheers lad.

Roy: Guess we know which couple’s getting the focus this time. Julien: Do we really have to ship right now? Roy: It’s been 7 years, dude. Fans practically learned about “shipping” thanks to this show. Julien: Hmm...that sounds pitiful, but I’ve wanted Princess Bubblegum to melt on Marceline since the beginning so what can I say?

Julien: Looks like Pinkie had her climax.

Roy: Okay, I’m all for Sia pony here (does have a lovely voice), but are there any rapper ponies? Julien: They’re an underground niche of pony musicians after 2Pon and Biggie bit the bullet. Roy: What about DJ Pon-3? Julien: Dub is not rap, brother.

Roy: Bowser’s back?! Julien: And we’re only what...12 minutes in? That’s an academy record. Shit, this movie’ll be over in a blink.

Julien: Okay, I’m liking this new villain here. Design wise, very coordinated. Color scheme is on point. Roy: I just wonder how she’ll be forgiven. Julien: Come on, man. Villains aren’t always meant to be redeemed. Roy: Ye, you need watch the rest of the show.

Roy: Oh no, all the other 3D piloted ships are slowly coming this way. Julien: Yeah, Futurama’s done better.

Julien: Oh shit, that is a fucking sweep down and over Pele kick. Roy: She would be great in WWE.

Julien: Well there goes two of the most powerful ponies in this series. Roy: Well hold on. Maybe Celestia, and Luna are only powerful in the fields or cutie marks they’re given. Like yeah, they’re powerful, but only in raising the sun and moon and whatever Cadence does. So really, they probably couldn’t beat Tempest’s rock spells as much as any powerful unicorn could have... Julien: So, they were useless to begin with? Roy: Kinda, yeah.

Roy: Hey, it’s Crissy. Julien: Wha? I thought her named was Derpy. Why Crissy? Roy: Oh no, Derpy is her name; won’t deny that. But Crissy’s just short for Criss Cross, like her eyes that are the ONE DEFINING TRAIT FOR HER EXISTENCE. It feels like a better name, you know? Julien:...You got me there. That does sound better.

Julien: WELL, after a daring escape via a gigantic waterfall, now they’re on their way to go seek the hippos. Roy: Hippogriffs. Julien: Goddammit man! *sigh* I mean what if they were hippos and I could actually see some awesome hippos in this movie or show?....Fuck, you know?! Hippos are cool. They’re big, strong, and awesome and you jus- *sigh* tch, you’re a bastard. Roy: Jesus man, I’m sorry. Julien: No, I’m sorry but it’s like...I just think hippos are neat is all.

Roy: Oh snap. It’s Ray Donovan. Julien: Okay, this may be a screenshot, but I could already tell Liev Schreiber was tap dancing for his check and was just having a blast doing so; like Jason Mamoa in the Justice League movie.

Julien: How I feel about Michael Pena. Roy: Come on, he’s got his good roles. Julien: Name one that’s memorable. Roy: Well..........................................................

Julien: Woo, that place looks like shit. How come the ponies haven’t help them out, they could spare the resources. Roy: Maybe the town didn’t want any help? Julien: Dude, no. How can just ignore a town that looks broken down, industrial, probably impoverished, smoggy, with some pretty disgusting water surrounding it? HOW can any pony worth their riches just ignore this practically desolate area while continuously celebrating whatever they want? Roy: Let’s....never mind all that.

Roy: Oh no, 1/5 of the fanbase. ⁽ᵂᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʲᵒᵏᶦⁿᵍ. ᵀʰᶦˢ ˢᶜᵉⁿᵉ ᶜᵒⁿˢᶦˢᵗˢ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵒʷⁿˢᶠᵒˡᵏ ˡᶦᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ᶜʳᵒʷᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒⁿᶦᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃⁿᵈ/ᵒʳ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ. ᴬⁿᵈ ʷʰᶦˡᵉ ʷᵉ ʳᵉˢᵖᵉᶜᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿˢᵘᵐᵉʳ ᶠᵃⁿˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵈᵉᵈᶦᶜᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳᵃⁿᶜʰᶦˢᵉ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ʲᵒᵏᵉ ᶦˢ ᵃ ᶜᵒⁿˢᶦᵈᵉʳᵃᵇˡᵉ ᶠˡᵃᶜᶜᶦᵈ ᵖᵘⁿᶜʰˡᶦⁿᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᶜʳᶦᵖᵗ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ. ᴺᵒʷ ʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃ ᵏᶦᵗᵗᵉⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵘʳᵉ ʷʰᶦˡˢᵗ ʷᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᶦⁿᵘᵉ.⁾

Awwwww, she’s sleepy

Julien: Oh boy, we got attractive felines in this universe. Roy: Eh, furry love aside, I’m more attracted to the comic’s nubian felines

Roy: Hello “Friend like me” Julien: Oye, don’t go pointing out the better things others have done. We’ll be here all week.

Roy: Can I say, “Suggestive?” Julien: Hey, they’re old enough to get some pussy in their life.

Julien: Okay, best character in the movie. Roy: Eh, I’m not convinced.

Roy: Okay, now I am.

Julien: That...is gonna cost ‘em. Roy: Pfft, like they’re gonna pay for it. Julien: I thought the ignorant rich of America were annoying.

Julien: Okay, there’s one thing that’ll never make sense here. So they’re oppressed and they work under the Storm King’s rule and they couldn’t be pirates. But it takes ONE song and they decide “Fuck it. We’re pirates again.” Roy: Have you ever had a song dedicated to helping you get your confidence and groove back?

[Gasp] The lesbian call.

Roy: I love how they play dramatic angry music over the colorful destruction that is their ship.

Julien: Hey, this reminds me of my Steven Universe fanfic. Roy: What? Julien: I dreamed and started a fanfic about Connie being an Arcane Knight that is seeking the original gems that helped salvage the land from the tyrannical Homeworld generals and this was where Lapis resided because she was originally master of nature but went into hiding after she, Peridot (master of metal) and Amethyst (master of animals) had a fallout.

Julien: When she goes so deep, she’s feeling your sunken place

Roy: WE GOT OUT THE MERCH SELLER, BABY! Julien: WE GOT THE MONEYMAKEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Roy: Now to be fair, she was trying to save her civilization while her friends were fucking around. Julien: Yeah, stealing from a civilization that suffered from the same enemies they’re dealing with now. Why didn’t the ponies help the hippogriffs when they clearly could have? This feels racist in a way. Roy: Specist? Julien: Yes. Thank you.

Julien: Okay, I can see where both sides are coming from, you know? However, I have a neutralizer that, possibly(?), erases both sides of this argument. How did it take them (the ponies) this long to try and stop the Storm King’s reign when it started to affect them personally? Where were any of them when the Storm King’s armada took over the Hippogriffs, the pirates, that city? I mean, I wouldn’t worry about this so much if the movie wasn’t so full of its “Friendship Solves All” theme to drive home how this will resolve when it could’ve been resolved LONG AGO! Roy: Jesus dude, it’s not that big a deal here. Julien: NO BRO, it is a big deal. Because they made 4 comics, so much merch, got good players like Sia, Liev, Emily Blunt, etc. all for movie that barely tries to integrate its new universe to a series that’s been around for 7 fucking years!

Ah good, we’re entered the third act.

Roy: Song time. Julien: I’ll allow it. Tempest is honestly the only best thing about this movie. Also, was Emily Blunt in Chicago???

Julien: So...let me get this straight. This girl stood up to a fucking bear and she gets shunned for her suffering? Fuck those kids! Roy: Yeah, I can see where she’d want revenge.

Roy: Okay movie, these Hippogriff designs are good. You live this time. Julien: This time? It’s still getting the slaughter, honey. [revs chainsaw]

Julien: You know Twilight fucked up when Sia pony is staring you down. Roy: With what eyes? Julien: Eye. Roy: I didn’t know you were Scottish.

I won’t question how they could breath in there.

Roy: Aw jeez, she was out for blood today. Julien: He’s getting creamed out there.

Julien: JESUS CHRIST, they brought flames to the party. Seriously, they are burning these beasts alive without fear.

One got consumed in the flames. Like, damn movie.

Roy: Okay, I get that Storm King’s a playful villain, but now he’s just monkeying around. Julien: Liev just wanted his paycheck. He’s doing just as good as everyone.

Roy: Looks like Pinkie Pie is on her a game this time. Julien: When she’s not yelling all her lines. Am I right lads, or am I right lads? Dom: “You’re all right, lad!” Julien: Cheers, lad.

Roy: Betrayal, I never knew could the Storm King could do such a thing. Julien: All I can think of is Twilight yeeting her into the cloud.

Gone with the wind.

Julien: Jesus christ. Roy: Exactly.

Roy: HA. He didn’t expect somebody to jump in the way of the bomb, only to then tag them and infect them with the spell as well. This doesn’t make sense in a way. Julien: Who cares, he’s fucking dead.

That’s right. Dead. On Screen. Full High Definition. YOUR MOVE, “DISNEY”.

“YEAH, WHO WANNA RIDE THE WHITE THUNDER?!”

Roy: So wait, what if Tempest actually got her horn back? Julien: Mass Genocide, everybody in Equestria incinerated; but hey: SPARKLY, COLORFUL EXPLOSIONS RIGHT?!

Julien: And that’s the My Little Pony Movie, ladies and gentlemen. Final thoughts? Roy: Fizzlepop Berrytwist is one of the worst names you could ever give your child. But other than that, I enjoyed what I got, mediocrity and all. Hell, I’m just glad there’s a 2D animated film in American theaters again. Could spell potential for the 16 mil. it earned at the Box Office. 👍👍 Julien: I thought it was alright and could’ve done better for their story beats than taking stuff from other better movies. A fun romp nonetheless.👍👎 Well, what now? Roy: Well, it’s Halloween. Wanna howl at the moon together? Julien: Sure.