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deadcactuswalking · 7 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27/04/2024 (Taylor Swift's THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, Drake's "Push Ups", Headie One/Stormzy/Tay Keith)

Let’s talk about Taylor Swift.

#4 - “Down Bad” - Taylor Swift

Produced by Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift

Yeah, I’m cactus, welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS, blah, blah, blah - I don’t like bending the format of this series, which actually fares quite well for a massive artist who will inevitably debut on top as it ensures a build-up to the big smash hit, but I also like reflecting the culture I write about. Taylor is such a cultural monolith in much of the English-speaking world and outside of it that despite the episode now having to end with her biggest competitor, Drake, he still doesn’t even stain this week’s biggest story, and really, only news story in an industry less and less important, and further removed from the concept of monoculture outside of freak accident white women like Taylor or Barbie than ever. Regardless of my opinions on her output, I may have to respect and reflect her sheer capability to produce discourse, reaction and most importantly, for people to actually give a shit about analysing music.

Now if we’re talking opinions on her output… you can probably get more out of me from looking at my first impressions account of listening to the new Taylor Swift album on RateYourMusic in my 2024 listening log (the account name is exclusivelytopostown). Oh, yeah, if you somehow don’t know, Taylor Swift released an album called The Tortured Poets Anthology and then two hours later, reissued it with the subtitle The Anthology, and naturally, broke all kinds of Spotify records, got a billion streams in a week, what have you. I have less to say about these individual songs than I do about the album, so I’ll try to weave it in but the crux of my takeaway is that this album’s title naturally leads to polarising results and it’s no surprise that she has compelled and practically controlled pop music and celebrity discourse for the entire week… it’s also her worst album attached directly with my favourite piece of full-length work she’s ever released.

Whilst there are plenty of in-depth reasons to compare and contrast the two releases, from here on referred to as ‘sides’ even though I’m not actually sure how the physical releases for this one worked out, the primary reasons for my stark difference in opinion lie in two fundamental components, both of which are not night-and-day between the sides, but have such a detrimental effect on my enjoyment when the two factors are combined that it ends up just as effective.

For “Down Bad”, I’ll focus on the first, and perhaps most important, reason for my preference of The Anthology: lyrics. Do not get me wrong, the second side has its fair share of strange lines and choices, as with any Taylor album, especially in her current obsessive, wordy over-sharing era, and some of its most befuddling are present on this half, making it stand out even more because of the array of lyrical perspectives that are actually on display. The second side lives up to its name, it allows for further exploration of the narrative perspectives Taylor adopts, the subtler details of decidedly unsubtle songs. I’m not saying that Taylor isn’t writing from her own perspective on all 15 tracks - there are 31 in total, of course, thank the Heavens for arbitrary singles chart rules - because she’s absolutely making parallels to if not directly referencing known moments in her life and career. The approach is adventurous, the charm returns to her clumsiness that was my favourite part of Midnights, and there are moments that can be genuinely biting and, well, poetic.

The standard edition is, for lack of a more accurate term, cringe. Again, there are absolutely moments where that is the case for side B, and I’m not claiming there’s a void of good lines… but there kind of is, isn’t there? We will always gravitate to clunkers, but what I’m more bothered by is the deadpan delivery of these lyrics, that don’t feel very Taylor-esque at times yet don’t establish themselves as a separate perspective. This is exemplified in “Down Bad”, which could be written by anyone outside from some Swiftisms in the verses, which really sound more like derivatives of her prior work rather than a signature style at this point, and really, I don’t need to explain to you why Taylor Swift should not have wriitten a song called “Down Bad”. Musically, this album spends much of its time in dull adult contemporary lightened up by Jack Antonoff synth wank that fails to distinguish the record from what came before it, so when the lyrics don’t feel like Taylor outside of when they’re at their worst, most petulant and bratty, which she fails to consistently sell because of said musical backing, it becomes a slow exhaust of four minutes… this song should really not feel this long. Hopefully now, you’ll understand what I mean in how the two components are mediocre by themselves and fail to constitute a complete package. We’ll talk more about the sonics with…

#3 - “The Tortured Poets Department” - Taylor Swift

Produced by Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift

Musically, the first side of this album feels uninspired, a retread of steps Taylor’s been tracing alongside Mr. Antonoff for years now, with its most unique textures reminiscent of 90s adult contemporary and soft rock… it could work as utter background music if that weren’t a complete misunderstanding of why Taylor Swift works as a singer, songwriter, musician and cultural presence: an imperfect mess that has achieved unbeatable status not through style or character but through ability to craft a narrative regarding herself and everyone involved, or in some cases, allow others to craft that story for her. Taylor, despite me not enjoying a large amount of her catalogue, admittedly never made it off of bad songs: those came after the good songs, and those bad songs - the “Shake it Off”s, “Bad Blood”s, “ME!”s - were risks, paying off not in acclaim or sometimes even notable chart success, but for developing and evolving the mythos. An unstoppable force - of fans, acclaim, criticism, ex-boyfriends, cultural osmosis and Kanye - has finally made her the immovable object, and it sure sounds like it on this first side of the album, especially compared to the organic, risk-taking and more ambitious, often minimal, instrumentation that Aaron Dessner brings to the second, alongside some work from Antonoff that feels more delicate and refined, unless Taylor really wants to bring the punch in because when she takes a swing, she does it with mesmerising grace. When she misses… the album just kind of sounds like twinkly soft-rock ass.

I’m sorry, this song is fundamentally fine, but it is lost both in its production, a meandering piano jog with no compositional drive, and in its lyrical conceit of megastar Taylor having an affair with some nerd from a band I’ve been a proud hater of for years - check the archives - and mirroring Drake’s inability to explain who the fuck Jason is in “Away from Home”. I know who Lucy and Jack are, do I want to? No, do I dig the farfetched historical comparisons? Kind of, it adds texture lyrically, but it’s also as tacky as saying Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist. He’s big enough. He’s fine. I don’t even think HE wants to be a bigger artist. If it’s sarcasm, then it feels mean and if it’s genuine… maybe you should start listening more closely to the art of your friends - if that’s still accurate here - and fellow musicians that you reference in your music. Maybe there’s something there you haven’t fully grasped in all your security as the biggest artist alive: the ability to truly fail. I’m not sure Lucy Dacus, or Charlie Puth, or even Matty Healy, could survive an album as polarising as this, but once again, that mythos, that fanbase, that tree branch connection to every record and radio executive in the damn Anglosphere and beyond, it’s a comfy king-size bed to sleep on. Is the poet really tortured when they can go through the Hell of showbiz and come back to that? I don’t know, but what I do know is that the song fades out instead of ending properly, you fucking cowards.

#1 - “Fortnight” - Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone

Produced by Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift

Inevitably, it’s her fourth #1, his second, and it has a well-directed video to wrap it all up. Self-directed, too. There’s a relatively solid foundation of this being about her relationships with Joe Alwyn and you know who. I think there’s a fascinating dichotomy that can be made if you interpret the song in different ways: the breakdown of her relationship with Alwyn, or the closing of the distance between her and bitch-face. I think the wham line of “I love you, it’s ruining my life” develops on one of my favourite songs of Taylor’s, “You’re Losing Me”, even if it doesn’t reach the same heights - or realistically, lows - instead going for a typical Antonoff synth pastiche that frankly disappoints. I think Post Malone’s presence, whilst perhaps underused, is best fit to haunting backing vocals to establish that looming male presence, and he sounds great here. The song largely goes nowhere, planting seeds it refuses to grow, but that’s a problem with the production more than anything. Like “Anti-Hero”, it’s a strong-concept, nuanced lead single that I don’t like primarily because of reasons outside of her control, and I’m just glad to wrap it up in a simpler bow that I can compare to her previous album… because Lord knows that’s what the first side of the album really doesn’t want you to do. Seriously though, this is absolutely lethargic, I can assume this felt like the best way to represent emotional numbness but there are much more unique minimal textures and patterns on the back-half, this feels cheap. Perhaps a good lead single, but terrible opener in my opinion, it really set the tone in a frustrating way. Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” is at #5, Hozier’s “Too Sweet” is at #2. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So other things happened, more than I expected, actually and to be honest, the intention is to be relatively brief. You know what the notable dropouts are but I’ll say that I cover the UK Top 75 anyway and that they are songs exiting out of the region after five weeks or a peak in the top 40, so we bid adieu to “Supersonic” by Oasis, “so american” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Been Like This” by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain, “Never be Alone” by Becky Hill and Sonny Fodera, “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” by YG Marley with uncredited appearances from Ms. Lauryn Hill, “Houdini” by Dua Lipa, “Water” by Tyla, “Asking” by Sonny Fodera, MK and Clementine Douglas, “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift and of course, rest in peace, “Lil Boo Thang” by Paul Russell, and welcome back to “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers. Camila Cabello’s “I LUV IT” featuring Playboi Carti is our other re-entry at #65 which is just funny if anything given this week.

As for our gains, there aren’t a ton, but a surprisingly fair few considering the amount of new entries, so I’ll note down the boosts for “Cry” by Benson Boone to #55, “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #53 - good week to be whatever species Carti is, I suppose - as well as “Never be Lonely” by Jax Jones and Zoe Wees at #50, “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli at #49, “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #47, “Back to Black” by the late Amy Winehouse at #43, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #21, “Tell Ur Girlfriend” by Lay Bankz at #18 and finally, one I’m very happy to see, the scrunkly Shaboozey at #16 with “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”. I can see top five in this one’s future, but speaking of… oh, wait, we’ve already covered it. Seven new songs! Speed round!

New Entries

#69 - “Joga Bonito” - AJ Tracey

Produced by Remedee and Nyge

The bar for cover art is in Hell. That is a PlayStation 2 model of a flag-wearing Brazilian lady showing leg, and that is now a charting single. It’s no surprise to me that Tracey is hopping on Jersey club-influenced beats, particularly with the mellow, filtered R&B sample and incredibly mundane flexes, as whilst he’s always been fun, and occasionally latches onto excellent hooks, he’s ultimately tied very heavily to trends and guest features, and this just feels a bit… empty, without a real “hook” outside of, well, its hook. He’s chatting the girl up, he says that she would look sexy in his merch, and he has the incredible bar of “I like Japan, so do you”. It must be true love. Look, if I’m going to critique Taylor for lazy writing over empty production, I can’t really give this a free pass either, even if it has some vague energy - none of it feels palpable or driving. ‘tis a shame, I tend to like Tracey’s output more consistently than other UK rappers.

#67 - “Pedro” - Jaxomy, Agatino Romero and Raffaella Carrá

Produced by Jaxomy, Agatino Romero, Steffen Harning and Reinhard Raith

Okay, this one might need some explaining. Raffaela Carrá was, and still is, a beloved icon in Italian pop music, LGBT and women’s culture, and seemingly the entire country. I’m not familiar with her at all, but that’s purely my bad: she’s sold millions upon millions of copies internationally, and released a prolific amount of albums worldwide in multiple languages. A gay icon and self-proclaimed Communist, Carrá’s classic hit “Pedro” never made it to the UK charts from release in 1980 until now, long after her passing in 2021. Latin disco by an Italian Communist sounds like I’d adore it, and for the record, I do. The original song is infectious, silly and brimmed with bombast from its obnoxious horn section to percussion so incredibly layered, especially with the snaps and claps, that it feels almost claustrophobic. Whilst far from a bad singer, Carrá brings a childlike clumsiness to the song’s hooks that define the song’s infectious personality. As someone who’s been introduced to this song literally today, it kind of feels like it’s been here for all of my life and that I’ve heard it at like seven school discos. Sicilian DJ Agatino Romero joined forces with Berlin-based Jaxomy for a pretty faithful remix that may pick up the pace and replace its rhythm section with pounding hardcore kicks, but the horns remain, because how couldn’t they? In fact, they sound even more full of life when placed onto much less organic instrumentation, from being just one element of a cacophony to a disco ball shining in your direction whilst you’re on the worst, most pounding, migraine-inducing high in a rave. It doesn’t change the song structure or even its fundamental instrumental texture a ton, probably out of respect, but that one change to the song’s arguably most important component does a lot to flip it on its head and I can really appreciate how skillfully it’s done here. Rest in peace to Raffaella Carrá, and I really hope this ends up sticking around. It’s just too infectious.

#62 - “Starburster” - Fontaines D.C.

Produced by James Ford

This is Irish indie rock outfit Fontaines D.C. with their new single about accidentally eating the Starburst with the wrapper on. Jokes aside, this is a great song. I’m not particularly invested in Fontaines as I am for some other indie and alt-rock acts that pop up here and there on the charts, in fact, I’m not familiar with their work at all, but it doesn’t mean this can’t stand on its own as one of the leading single for their next record, which I might actually have to listen to if it’s in this vein. I was initially worried given the sprinkle of pianos over lo-fi strings and James Ford production that this would be a late-era Arctic Monkeys rip but as soon as the dejected drums came in alongside that droning lead vocal from frontman Grian Chatten, it became obvious that this would functioning in a hip hop structure through way of indie rock, with Chatten actually rapping, in full Irish accent and all, over the instrumental as if it were a collection of loops instead of a live band with some smoky if typical riffs to back him up. Lyrically, Chatten details several violent analogies that seem to coalesce into sexual desire, or at least some kind of euphoric rush, intended to be purely momentary and necessary, even if it intrudes on others, if there’s a moment of bliss to be found. It’s difficult not to see this as kinky, and I honestly get a lot of mileage out of that interpretation given how its bluntness isn’t relegated to the lyrics, before of course, the strings trickle in for an ethereal bridge about swallowing and following, and Chatten asking for someone to “hit [him] for the day”, before returning to the gnarly mantra of the hook with a sly chuckle. Come on, it’s a sex jam. A weird one, for sure, one wrapped in grotesque metaphor, but I dig this on the smoky, grimed-out level it presents itself as, and maybe I’ll have to listen to whatever comes of this upcoming project.

#58 - “Gata Only” - FloyyMenor and Cris Mj

Produced by Big Cyyu

It’s rare to see Chileans chart anywhere outside of Latin America, let alone the UK, so I do want to give this some more of a chance, especially since the synth-led production at the start is a nice, promising ambiance… that gets immediately washed out by some of the shrillest synths and cheapest reggaeton percussion I’be heard in the genre. I’m not intimately familiar with the scene but I’ve heard plenty with more character, and even reggaeton that’s relaxing and ethereal. That could have been the play for these two auto-crooners, if it wasn’t for… THAT sound they keep repeating. Translating the lyrics, though of course this can lead to miscommunication, we get little of substance to chew on either. The most mush-mouthed appearance here is from Cris Mj, who was criticised by his own fans for his overly-reverbed, robotic performance before other fans convinced him that it was cool, actually, preventing him from deleting the song or at least removing himself from it as promised. I guess it turned out well as this is both acts’ biggest worldwide hit - it’s a massive deal to get a reggaeton song of all genres to cross over to little ol’ England - but if it weren’t for its inexplicable viral success, maybe he had the right idea initially in staying humble and listening to feedback. This is rote and droll in the worst kind of way because it’s in a genre that can be so exciting and weird… yet that stuff wouldn’t dare chart over here so we have these guys. I’m sure they’re nice, talented guys, but this is not compelling in any way. I can weirdly see it growing on me through some kind of subliminal hypnosis… but I don’t see myself revisiting it enough for the brainwashing to have its effect quite yet.

#41 - “Malicious Intentions” - Pozer

Produced by RA Beats

…really? Pozer? Of all possible guys in UK rap to give a second hit, it’s Pozer? The “Kitchen Stove” guy had that much potential? Whilst I have nothing against the guy, and “Kitchen Stove” is completely fine, it’s a viral breakout hit which finds its main appeal in a novel ambient sample flip taking advantage of the Jersey club wave. He does not feel built for another #41 peak, let alone however long this ends up lasting afterwards. Ironically enough, Pozer himself was the most out of place element of that song, and he seems to have understood that. Does that mean he’s changed his flow and delivery to fit a more chill and atmospheric tone? No, not at all. He’s ditched the ambient sample, replacing it with a wave of synth strings that sound pretty triumphant and play off pretty well against incredibly bass-heavy and driven Jersey rhythms less bothered with fancy percussion additions, and more with the sheer intensity of the 808s, slowly and gradually developing into a more traditional drill beat through the eventual addition of enough additional drums, it’s a really cool idea for an instrumental, especially when it reverts to pure numbing intensity for the chorus, and serves well for what Pozer is going for: an incredibly consistent flow delivered much livelier and with a significantly bouncier, funnier grit than before, and bars that really aren’t bad. Pozer also adapts very seamlessly to the changing rhythm of the beat, and his more introspective moments stick out as perhaps surface-level but particularly potent when delivered with the same restlessness as any other bar. Unrelenting feels like a good way to describe the song, always punching and punching a bit beyond its weight and getting reversed back - and that’s the rhythm. Whilst it’s not reinventing the wheel, this is genuinely pretty infectious and difficult to not get excited to, in spite of - or because of - Pozer’s acquired delivery that takes a while to get used to but shares its realm more fairly than you’d think with such great production and a rapper I didn’t think much of until today. Well done, man, this is an unsettling piece of production that is transformed by the confidence of the rapper on it, and for that, I really dig it.

#33 - “Cry No More” - Headie One featuring Stormzy and Tay Keith

Produced by Tay Keith, Pooh Beatz and Tommy Parker

Speaking of promising UK rap, here we have Headie One with yet another single from an upcoming project titled The Last One. Whether this is a full retirement, we can never tell with rappers. But would this be a strong farewell verse? Well, yeah, it’s impeccable for Headie, it feels like a perfect example of what he does well: a cold staccato verse that runs like a train, punctuated by dejected ad-libs and delivery and paranoid, detached bars revolving around gang violence over tight drill percussion and some of the best mixes I’ve heard for a drill beat: it all sounds crisp to me, especially that warping bass. The sample may not be the most interesting melody to go for over this beat, but its sing-songy tone reassures its ability to be both eerie and anthemic, alongside the incredibly clever implementation of Asake’s “Lonely at the Top” - which peaked at #90, though weirdly I did review this one - in Stormzy’s verse. How it doesn’t feel tacky is beyond me, it feels like a genuine shout-out that matches the tone of the song perfectly and leads into the flex in a subtler way than he probably would have done without it. Notably, Stormzy goes for a similar flow to Headie but kind of shelves him in the wordplay and rhyme scheme departments, even if neither are too lyrical here, mostly showcasing a clash between the images they have to maintain and the real people behind them, though some of that may be unintentional given all the flexing that surrounds it, especially in Stormzy’s verse where they’re so well-intertwined. I was expecting to like this, but came back with even more to chew on than I thought I would, so I’m glad that, even if only for that big debut week and a few more, it can land on the chart, this is great stuff. Hyped for whatever forms out of this and “Marvin’s Sofa”, honestly two of Headie’s best singles leading up to this forthcoming record so expectations are high.

#14 - “Push Ups” - Drake

Produced by Boi-1da, Tay Keith, Preme, Fierce, Dramakid and Noel Cadastre

I’m not Kendrick Lamar so who cares what I think about a Drake diss? Genuinely, what purpose would it be for me to sit down and analyse bars that have been thoroughly annotated on Genius already, discussed and taken apart by hip hop podcasters and influencers, if not other rappers, and in some cases, went completely viral? There’s a mix of corny and clever bars here, mostly in the latter which is impressive for late-era Drake, and I hate to say he has some points regarding what seems to be a convenient, preplanned attack on Drake that just confirms his suspicion and contributes to his own narrative. The beat is hard, the mix is rough but it’s a diss track so that is the least of anyone’s concerns. I assume the abrupt beat switch, after a DJ Akademiks meme inserts itself into the song like the leech he is, is a demonstration of Drake having more bars to come, but given there’s only one real punchline in that section, it feels like a long build-up to nothing and a strange decision to include overall as an epilogue. Otherwise, it’s a fun, venomous track with some of Drake’s most well-thought-out and honestly, well-delivered bars in years. It’s crunchy, it’s to the point, and I’m excited for what Kung-Fu Kenny has to say in response.

Conclusion

He’s not getting Best of the Week though. A cool diss doesn’t always equate to a memorable or replayable song, and for me, I think Pozer of all people has the most infectious here, colour me surprised, with the evil-sounding “Malicious Intentions”, but I’ll tie him with the more joyful “Pedro” by Jaxony, Agatino Romero and the late Raffaella Carrá for a more balanced Best of the Week. Hell, there’s enough good stuff here to tie the Honourable Mention up two between Headie One, Stormzy and Tay Keith for “Cry No More” and “Starburster” by Fontaines D.C. As for the worst, it should unsurprisingly fall out quite easily: Taylor Swift has Worst of the Week for “Down Bad”, with the Dishonourable Mention going to “Gata Only” by FloyyMenor and Cris Mj. For what’s on the horizon, I mean, hopefully more good to look forward to but knowing my luck… I don’t know, Bladee? For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Mike Pinder, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #post malone #drake #push ups #headie one #stormzy #tay keith #raffaella carrà #agatino romero #jaxomy #fontaines d.c.#floyymenor #cris mj #pozer #aj tracey

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theboy-thebitch-thelegend · 3 years ago

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Friennndd Ok so I keep seeing Måneskin on my dash and I am Curious, so which say three songs of theirs would you recommend a person listen to first, as an introduction? Cause I’m wondering if I’ll vibe with their music but would like a recommendation on where to start, if you don’t mind. 😊👉🏻👈🏻

friennnnddd!!!!! (okay but that's literally what i think when i see your icon XD)

first of all, sorry this reply took me a little bit, i meant to answer it yesterday and then i got busy with stupid college stuff 🙄

OKAY so. i am not going to lie to u, when i first started hearing about them, i just... went to spotify and listened to the top 5 that were right there... not the most creative method, but it got me hooked!

so, those ones are

1. I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE

this one's HUGELY popular right now, and with good reason. it rocks, it's great, makes me want to stomp around in big boots and flip my hair around. not my personal favorite from them, but a good song. (they do say the fuck word quite often, in this one and others, so y'know, in general i wouldn't listen to any of their songs in hearing of folks who might be offended by that.)

2. Beggin'

this one is a cover with some history behind it, the original song popularized by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons in the late '60s, also more widely known recently by the cover Madcon did (i don't remember the year off the top of my head). Måneskin's cover resembles Madcon's cover more than the original in terms of lyrics, and they put a really great, heavier rock & roll feel into it. They included it on their 2017 EP, and it's gotten pretty popular again since Eurovision. Definitely one of my favorites to dance around and sing into a hairbrush when no one's home XD

3. ZITTI E BUONI

OOOOOOH BOY this song SLAPS. It slaps so hard it made me look up the translation (sidenote, before I started listening to the music, I saw a bunch of memes about people wanting to learn Italian because of Måneskin, and I was like "lol simps". then i listened to the songs. and yeah. i get it now). "Zitti e buoni" means "shut up and behave", and damn. it really fucks. This is the song Måneskin chose for their Eurovision performance and, obviously it worked, considering they won. 🎉🎉

4. CORALINE

also one of my favorites, and also from their most recent album (btw, all the songs from this album, Teatro d'ira - Vol. 1 (2021) , have the song titles in all caps, if you were wondering). This one has a more wistful, melancholy feel, but picks up the energy in the middle and rocks out... but like, in an emotional way. definitely worth looking up the translation and learning the backstory behind it; there was a post around here about it somewhere; i'll send it if i can find it.

5. Torna a casa

probably my favorite at the moment, Torna a casa, meaning, roughly, "(turn, or come) back home", is also a little mellower, and really beautiful. i tried to learn the intro on guitar, but my fingers were not cooperative... oh well. gives me "sitting on the rooftop" vibes, and it's one of the inspirations for a song i'm writing right now, so, i guess that just goes to show it's a really beautiful song, in my opinion. This one's from their 2018 album, Il ballo della vita, which means "the dance of life", and I actually just listened to the full album all the way through last night while considering your ask XD

Some of my other favorites at the moment are:

VENT'ANNI - from the new album, the lyrics really resonate with me right now, and it's well written

Are You Ready?- from Il ballo della vita, this one's in english and has a really great dance beat to it, different feel from the others i've mentioned. i listened to it on repeat about a dozen times last week

Close to the Top- also from Il ballo della vita; actually, i personally don't like this song as much, on the whole, but it comes to mind because i do really like the guitar sound

alright that's... perhaps a bit more than you were looking for? But hey, you did ask me about my current obsession... so... here we are 😅

I hope this helps!!! 😊🎵🎸💛

#asks #ilygwilym #måneskin #i know u said like top 3 I'M SORRY i just couldn't help it #maybe top 3 for me would be: zitti e buoni; torna a casa; and are you ready?#i feel like that's a good representation of the range of style/sound they have #can u tell i like this band #like a lot #?! 😆

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lunebinnie · 6 years ago

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(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! ��😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

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trash-the-tozier · 6 years ago

Text

Dog Days (1/7)

Title: Dog Days

Length: ~36.6k words (5k for this part)

Summary: Richie Tozier is twenty years old, over halfway through a Chemistry degree at the University of Maine, and in love with his best friend and roommate, Stanley Uris. And he figures that it's fine, with no cause for change, until he finds an injured puppy near his apartment.

Warnings: Explicit language, small amounts of smoking/drinking, vague description of a dead animal, mentions of animal abuse (the animal stuff is all about the injured puppy, it’s not like... a recurring theme or smthn) and like... one punch is thrown (it's a cute fic I promise)

Pairings: Stan/Richie, background Ben/Beverly

A/N: I have a bunch of losers club x dogs headcanons, so I finally wrote one! this fic was originally written for the @itbigbang, and while the exchange ended up falling through, I did have a wonderful time writing this fic ♡ also posted to ao3 here

"Oh, here." Richie pulled Stan's phone from his hands, who let out a dissenting breath from his nose, but didn't attempt to stop him. "Beverly just sent me the mix she made. I'll put it on while we study."

"What's it called?"

"Uh..." Richie plugged Stan's phone into the speakers he'd left on the coffee table, opening up Spotify. Beverly's playlists usually had hilarious names long enough to rival Fall Out Boy themselves, but this one was unexpected. "It just says 'idiots'. No capitalization."

"Sweet, isn't she?" Stan asked, amused, pulling a notebook and a pencil from his backpack, tucking the writing utensil behind his ear so he could use both hands to pick up his Statistics textbook. That thing was heavy, Richie knew; Stan had dropped it on his head once. He frowned, scrolling through the tracklist.

"These songs are weird."

"Yeah?" Stan slid the textbook to the edge of his knees, beginning to open it.

"Yeah." Richie frowned, reading out the first song. "This Guy's In Love With You."

Stan dropped his book on his foot, cursing loudly as Richie laughed.

"...excuse me?" He finally asked.

"Do you know that song?" Richie asked back, instead of repeating himself. "It came out in 1968! Justify My Love? What is all this stuff?"

"Isn't Justify My Love that really risque Madonna song?" Stan asked, and Richie gave an incredulous little laugh, pressing play on the playlist and laying back against the couch. He nudged Stan lightly with his elbow.

"You're so gay, Stanley."

"Right." Stan raised an amused eyebrow, nudging Richie back. "You kissed four different guys at a party last week, and I'm the gay one."

"That was just for spin the bottle! Besides, I didn't say I wasn't the other gay one."

Stan rolled his eyes, turning to his Statistics homework. Richie was supposed to be working on an English essay but he felt painfully distracted, staring at his laptop screen every couple of minutes before picking up his phone. Justify My Love was, in fact, an incredibly risque Madonna song, and Richie ended up leaning forwards and skipping it because Stan was turning so red that Richie worried he might explode. Thankfully, Richie knew the next song inside and out.

"Def Leppard!" He exclaimed, as the opening guitar notes from the iconic 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' began. Stan glanced over at him.

"Don't pretend you're some classic rock fan." He said. Richie opened his mouth in offense.

"But I am!"

Stan tried to go back to his books but Richie interrupted almost immediately, splaying himself across Stan's lap and singing along in a terrible, dramatic voice, his face screwed up in a way he probably thought was 'punk rock'.

"I'm hot, sticky sweet! From my head, to my feet."

Stan glanced down at him, pursing his lips, but he did look amused.

"You're not hot, Richie. Especially if you're sticky."

Richie pouted at him.

"But I'm sweet!"

"...right."

A huge grin spread across Richie's face, catching Stan's eye and sticking his tongue out.

"Why don't you give me a taste and find out?"

Richie expected an eye roll, already imagining the dramatic position he wanted to land in on the floor when Stan inevitably shoved him off his lap. Instead Stan leaned in close, a nervous jolt racing up Richie's chest when his eyes began to close. His lips were mere centimeters away, Richie's heart hammering, when Stan stopped.

"Shut up, Richie." He murmured. And then he shoved Richie off his lap, but Richie was caught so off guard that he didn't manage to stick his landing, letting out in undignified yelp as he hit the coffee table on his way down. That had Stan laughing, laughing so hard that he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes, and in spite of the dull throb Richie now felt in his shoulder, he had to grin. He crawled back up onto the couch, staring hard at his computer screen, trying to use the assignment as a distraction to get his heart rate back to normal. He got about a paragraph of something barely intelligible written, his fingers freezing when he heard Stan murmur a curse under his breath. Richie wasn't sure if he should say something or not, but it quickly became too much to handle.

"Fuck!" Stan finally growled, Richie trying to ignore the way his breath hitched and be a sympathetic friend instead. He'd been doing that a lot lately, when it came to Stanley.

"What?"

"I've tried this problem three times." Stan said in frustration, stabbing at the paper with his pencil tip. "And I've gotten a different wrong answer all three times. I swear I'm using the formula correctly, but..."

Richie leaned over Stan's lap, glancing over his work. He pointed at the third step of his most recent attempt.

"There. You forgot to carry the one."

"Carry the one?" Stan asked in slight disbelief, and when he realized Richie was right, he let out a groan and collapsed onto Richie's shoulder in defeat.

"I hate it when you make me feel stupid." Stan mumbled, his voice slightly muffled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Because you're stupid."

In spite of himself, Richie chuckled.

"Why are you majoring in Accounting if you suck at math?" Richie asked. "You're so much better at other stuff."

Stan sighed, pulling himself upright. He turned back to his homework, twirling his pencil between his fingers. Richie watched his hands.

"A stable job, Richie."

"A stable job? In this economy?" The question was more of a joke than anything, and thankfully Stan laughed. Richie got to his feet, his shoes already on by the time Stan spoke up.

"Isn't that essay due by midnight tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll get it done." Richie waved a dismissive hand. "I can't focus right now, anyway."

"Going on a walk?" Stan asked, but it wasn't really a question, the answer already obvious. Richie took walks off campus when he needed to de-stress, or exhaust himself enough to get his brain to calm down and focus on an uninteresting task. This essay definitely qualified as uninteresting. Richie nodded.

"I'll probably be at work then, when you get back." Stan told him, Richie nodding a little when he realized Stan was right.

"Good luck during your shift! Don't die, or whatever." Richie said, pulling on a jacket. He took his cell phone from his pocket, showing it to Stan. "Feel free to text me if you want."

Stan nodded, Richie giving him a salute, checking his pocket for his keys and his cigarettes before stepping out the door. He kept his phone in his hand, and when he'd made it down the apartment complex steps, he called Beverly's number.

"Hey, punk." She greeted, and he grinned. "What's up?"

"Not much. Just on a walk."

"And you missed the sound of my voice?"

"C'mon sis. I always miss you." Richie told her, and she laughed a little.

"Ben and I live on the other side of campus. You can come over any time, you know that. I gave you a key to our apartment for a reason."

"Yeah yeah, I know." Richie held his phone to his ear with his shoulder, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. "Bev, about that playlist..."

"Did you like it? Did you and Stan make out or something?"

"That's what that was about?" He asked, amused by the excitement in her voice. “I threw myself in his lap, and but he didn't go for it.”

“Oh, damn.”

Richie laughed. “C’mon Beverly, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t like Stan?”

“You can’t fool me, Richie.” She sounded slightly reprimanding. “You want him to stick his tongue in your mouth so badly it’s insane.”

“No!” Richie insisted. “I don’t. I don’t like Stan, and I have to keep telling myself that. I have to, because if I don’t then I will definitely kiss him, and it will definitely ruin everything.”

The line was silent for a few moments, Richie watching his feet as he walked. He veered off the sidewalk and the pavement turned to drying grass underfoot, taking himself in the direct opposite direction of campus and towards a distant patch of trees.

“It might not, you know.” Beverly said quietly. “Ruin everything, I mean.”

“Yeah, but it could. We’re roommates, and we’re friends, and that has to be good enough for me.”

Richie heard Ben’s voice in the background, sounding like he was asking some sort of question, and decided he didn’t want to interrupt their afternoon any further.

“I’ve gotta go, alright? I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Rich--”

“Bye Bev!” Richie hung up before Beverly could protest, slipping his cell phone into his pocket and taking a long drag on his cigarette. He appreciated Beverly trying to help him in her own, playful way, but he needed to be deterred from kissing Stan, not encouraged. Beverly just didn’t understand the complications of love, Richie supposed. She’d met her Prince Charming when they were all thirteen, and while the two of them had taken a while to get together, they’d always liked each other. It hadn’t been that way with Stan.

Richie had thought for years that Stan didn't like him at all. Stan tolerated him, maybe, but didn’t prefer his company. They never hung out one-on-one. Stan was transparent about Bill being his Loser of choice, always next to him, always close to him. Stan liked Eddie too though, connecting with him over things like calling Richie an idiot, or being clean and neat (though Richie knew that truly Stan was the neat one; Eddie was a germaphobe, sure, but he was still a chaotic teenage boy with a unorganized room and backpack full of loose papers. Stan grew up creating alphabetized binders of bird polaroids.)

Richie made an effort, though. When he learned that Stan wore that little circle thing on his head because he was Jewish--and that Jewish people spoke a different language, which was so cool--he studied up to make puns in Hebrew, made probably too many jokes about birds, and learned that poking Stan on the cheek made him blush. Despite all this though, they didn’t hang out independent of the others when they were fifteen, and the rest of the Losers (a group which now included Mike, Ben, and Beverly Marsh) weren’t able to make Richie’s impromptu sleepover. The two of them had stayed up until nearly four in the morning, half watching the Die Hard movies and half talking about nothing and everything all at once. Stan confided in Richie that night that he was gay, not telling him until later that he was the first person he’d come out to.

“Do you like me?” Richie had asked, almost immediately after. He didn’t realize the terrible timing of his question until Stan had turned red and punched him in the shoulder.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I mean… I meant as friends.”

Stan looked incredibly surprised.

“Of course I do. I always have.”

“...oh.”

Richie’s cigarette burnt itself out between his fingers, a cold gust of wind bringing him back to the present. It was chilly for March, even by Maine standards, Richie bringing his jacket in closer around himself, fumbling with the zipper. He closed the jacket up to his chin, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn't remember when his crush on Stan had developed, if he was being honest. Stan was just… Different. Different from all the other Losers. Different from anyone else Richie had ever known.

If Richie was in the mood to go out and save the world, he went to Bill. If Richie wanted to recline on a couch and laugh his ass off, he went to Mike. But Stan made him feel balanced. He was just deadpan enough to take in Richie's chaotic energy, just sarcastic enough to be amused when Richie made a joke, but still bite back with a retort of his own. Stan made him feel happy, made him feel right. He couldn't explain it really, but he knew it was a feeling he couldn't lose, and if all he could be to feel like that was Stan's friend, then so be it. Friend could be agonizing at times, but it was infinitely better than nothing at all.

The sound of rushing water registered in Richie's ears a second before his shoe landed in the creek. He cursed and jumped back, losing his footing and pinwheeling his arms in a desperate attempt not to fall entirely into the water. The creek was a familiar route in his walks, the body of water a full mile from campus, and Richie turned to follow along the bank. He kept a safe distance, stepping carefully. He already had one soggy shoe; he didn't need another.

Richie forced his mind to focus as he lit a second cigarette, trying to stop daydreaming about Stan and start planning out his essay, which was much less enjoyable, but much more productive. He didn't know why he needed a literature class, being a Chemistry major and all, but he had to take it, so he was at least going to try to pass. Good grades would help him keep his scholarships, and he needed those; his job at the pizza place he and Stan worked at was barely enough to cover his share of the rent for their tiny apartment.

There was a dark pack of birds up ahead. They looked large, all having landed by the creek bed, huddled close together. Richie had to get a little closer to them to see what kind of birds they were, but once he did, they were easy to identify. Vultures. A group of them, with their wide, dark wings and ugly bald heads. Richie didn’t realize until too late what a committee of vultures must mean, the unmistakable stench of rotting meat hitting him full in the face only a few paces later. He staggered back, his face scrunching instinctively, trying not to gag. But curiosity got the better of him, approaching slowly, wanting to see what it was the vultures were all crowded around.

He couldn’t tell what animal the carcass used to be. It was decomposed, waterlogged, and in the process of being ripped apart, but he still squinted at it in confusion. The bits of fur that remained were fuzzy, dark brown and black, the creature roughly the size of a dodgeball. A rabbit, he supposed. Something like that. It was too round to be a cat, and too dark to be a raccoon, and he couldn’t think of any other animal that would find its way to the creek to drown. Feeling unsettled, and unwilling to get between a pack of vultures and their prey, Richie turned tail and headed back home.

As he said he would be, Stan was gone to work by the time Richie returned. He kicked off his shoes and peeled off his socks, both feet freezing--though the wet one much more so--tucking them under his body as he pulled his laptop into his lap. He'd left it open with the screen on, and there was a little message at the bottom of his essay that Richie realized must be from Stan.

Man, you have to analyze Grapes of Wrath? Sucks to suck, that book is terrible. I’m like 99.9% sure you didn’t read it, seeing as I never saw you holding it, so make sure to talk about the multiplying effects of selfishness and altruism, and the symbolism of the dead dog. You’re welcome. And also... good luck! c;

Richie couldn’t stop smiling and he didn’t even care, taking a picture of the message with his phone, and attaching it in a text to Stan.

To: S(a)tan You flirty little bastard

From: S(a)tan ;)

To: S(a)tan ;D

From: S(a)tan If you send me the eggplant emoji I will block you istg.

Richie bit his lip to try to stop grinning but it was futile, leaning back on the couch.

To: S(a)tan What’s wrong with a harmless vegetable? I hear they’re quite NUTritious

He could almost hear the eye roll.

From: S(a)tan I hate you. Also, since you’re only looking at theme and motif for that essay, you probably don’t have to mention that part in the book where the teenage girl breastfeeds the dying old man in a barn

To: S(a)tan Excuse me the WHAT

From: S(a)tan I told you the book was terrible. But you have an essay to write. I’m not texting you back until it’s done.

To: S(a)tan But stanleyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Richie didn’t get a response. He sent a few more whiny messages (and even the eggplant emoji for good measure) but true to his word, Stan didn’t text him. So Richie turned to Beverly instead.

To: Lavagirl Bevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv im lonely and bored

From: Lavagirl What, your other half went to work?

To: Lavagirl ***Stan. My Stan went to work. And I have a stupid essay to write

From: Lavagirl I know. He told me. He also told me not to text you until you finish it. Bye!

“Fucking Stanley.” Richie grumbled, when after a few attempts, Beverly didn’t respond either. Out of distractions, Richie stared down the word document for a few moments, sighed, and got to work. But Stan didn’t text him back even after he’d finished and submitted the paper, so Richie assumed he was simply busy, taking Beverly up on her offer from earlier and making the trek to her and Ben’s apartment, picking up a pizza on the way.

He knocked when he arrived--he’d walked in on too many compromising situations not to knock at their door--beaming brightly when Ben answered.

“I didn't want to only invite myself over, so I invited myself and a pizza.” He explained, Ben laughing a little as he stepped back to let Richie in.

“I was literally just about to text you.” Beverly said when she saw him, getting up from the couch in greeting, her cell phone extended in his direction. Sure enough, an in-progress message To: Sharkboy shone on the screen. “You got that Steinbeck essay finished?”

“Yep!” Richie set the box of pizza down on the small table in the kitchen. “Didn't read the book and submitted the first draft without revising it, just like my momma taught me.”

Beverly slapped him a high five, while Ben looked disapproving. Richie caught the expression.

“C’mon, Ben! It was Grapes of Wrath. That book is terrible. It doesn't deserve a good essay.”

“How do you know it's terrible? You just said you didn't read it.”

“I was told that it was bad by one very reliable source, thank you.”

“But it's Steinbeck!” Ben sat down at the table next to him. “He’s an award winning author. The way he puts prose together--”

“Steinbeck is a dweeb.” Richie said flippantly. Then, when Ben opened his mouth to protest, he continued. “And so are you, Ben.”

“Yeah, but he's my dweeb.” Beverly interjected, walking up behind Ben to come to the table. Ben looked back at her.

“You think I'm a dweeb?” He asked, Beverly grinning and looping her arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek. He turned pink and the conversation was effectively closed, Richie grinning and moving to open the pizza box.

“We already ate.” Beverly interrupted. “Ben made dinner. It’s just chicken and pasta, but you can have some if you--”

“Thank god.” Richie closed the box again, getting up with it in hand and walking to the trash can. After working at a place that made pizza, he didn't enjoy the pseudo-Italian food as much as he used to. He would still eat it if there was no alternative though, unlike Stan, who would rather starve. “I really--”

“Woah, hey! What are you doing?” Beverly intercepted his path, taking the pizza box from him. “Not everyone here works at a pizza place. I still enjoy eating one of the greatest food inventions of the century.”

“Good for you then.” Richie helped himself to the aforementioned leftovers, the healthy food causing him to frown and turn back. He’d just remembered something, how Ben had slowly but surely been slimming himself down. “Wait, are you sure you want that, though? Isn't there some diet thing you guys are doing?”

“It's not a diet.” Ben said quickly. “It's just… I'm just making my own food, instead of eating that processed, high sodium crap I was fed all the time when I lived at home.”

“Well, it's working for you, buddy.” Richie put the plate in the microwave, turning to give Ben a wink. “You're looking good.”

“He's getting really good at cooking, too.” Beverly said in excitement, sliding the pizza box into the fridge. All of the praise had Ben's face slightly pink again. “That is the best way to a person's heart, you know.”

“I've heard that between the fourth and fifth rib is a pretty good way, too.”

Ben frowned at his pessimism, Richie sitting down. Beverly sat down across from him.

“You're just jealous because you don't have a dweeb.” She declared.

“Stan isn't a dweeb.” Richie said quickly. A grin grew on Beverly face.

“I didn't say anything about Stan.”

“Sure, but you were thinking it, and he was thinking it--” Richie pointed his fork at Ben with a sigh-- “and I was thinking it, so…”

“Why don't you just tell him?” Ben asked. “What's the worst that could happen?”

Richie stroked an invisible beard, pretending to think.

“Let's see. I confess my feelings--probably by kissing him because let's face it, I'm hopelessly in love and rash action is very much my style--and he's so freaked out by his roommate having a big gay crush on him that he changes his name, moves to Yemen, and I never see him again.”

“Don't give yourself so much credit. You're not so bad of a kisser that it drives people to move to another country.”

“Bev, I kissed Cynthia Anderson in ninth grade, and a week later she moved to Canada.”

“That was a coincidence!” Beverly exclaimed, as Ben laughed. “Just be charming! You could… I don't know, write him cute notes or something.”

Richie rolled his eyes.

“I'm not Ben.”

“Hey, it worked.” Ben pointed out, Beverly nodding.

“If I leave him love notes like Ben did, then he'll probably just think the notes are from Bill, like Beverly did!” Richie pointed out. He frowned. “Bill is cool. Stan would probably go out with Bill.”

The following silence lasted a little longer than Richie liked, neither one of them rushing to his defense.

“C’mon, guys!”

“You won't know until you try, and that's all I'm going to say.” Beverly said. “Speaking of Bill though, I talked to him today. We talked about possible tourist stops for The Road Trip.”

“Oh, tell me.” Richie said excitedly, stuffing a bite of chicken in his mouth in preparation to listen without interrupting. The Road Trip was a dream hatched up by Mike, an idea to get a van after graduation and drive around the country, fueled purely by nothing more than the desire to get the hell out of Maine. None of the Losers, aside from Ben and Eddie, had ever left the state before. But Ben had simply moved in from a different state in middle school, and Eddie was out of the state now, at a pharmacology school in New York with his tuition, housing, and meal plan all controlled by his mother's money. He claimed to like the freedom of the city, though.

They spent the next couple of hours brainstorming about things they could do, and places they could go. Most of it was simply amusing and unrealistic (in truth, the whole trip was unrealistic, but they tried not to think about that) Richie in the middle of explaining just how they would get away with stealing the world's largest boot out of Minnesota when his phone began to ring. It was Stan.

“King Stanrick the Third!” He answered grandly, putting on a rather bad British accent. “How was your shift at the pizza palace?”

“Monotonous.” Stan answered. “You finished that essay, then?”

“All done with time to spare, thanks to you!” Richie told him.

“Yeah, you're welcome. Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

“Yeah.” Richie said apologetically. “Ben and Beverly took pity on me and gave me their table scraps.”

Ben looked a bit disgruntled at his home cooked meal being called table scraps.

“That's awesome, actually.” There was a smile in Stan's voice now. “I am craving sushi, and now I can get some without you complaining.”

“You disgust me.” Sushi was about as abhorrent as asparagus, which Richie lovingly referred to as 'the green stalks from hell’. Stan laughed.

“Anything we need from the store while I'm out?” He asked. Richie thought for a moment.

“We are out of ice cream.” He said. The line was quiet for a moment, Richie able to hear the background noise of the road as Stan drove.

“...anything essential we need from the store?” Stan tried again.

“Ice cream is essential, Stanley! It shaped me into the man I am today!”

“Really? Then maybe you should never eat it again.”

“Fuck off.”

Stan laughed again, a quieter and more private kind of laugh that had Richie grinning, holding the phone a bit closer to his ear.

“Alright.” Stan allotted. “We're broke as hell, but I'll see what I can do.”

“See you soon?”

“Yeah.”

Then Stan hung up, Richie slowly lowering his phone. He'd all but forgotten about his friends, and Bev had a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Oh, fuck both of you.” He said, the words made infinitely less menacing by the light blush on his cheeks. “Also, thank you for having me over, the food was delicious, I love you both so so much, and I'm going home.”

He said it all quickly, rushing around the table to give both Ben and Beverly tight hugs, then made his way out the door. Richie showered and put on comfy clothes, and about thirty minutes later Stan was home, a half-eaten roll of sushi in one hand and a small grocery bag in the other.

“Hey.” He greeted, but Richie made a show of scrunching his nose up.

“You smell like raw fish.” He said. He couldn’t actually smell the sushi, but knowing it was there was bad enough. Stan rolled his eyes.

“No I don't. I smell like pizza grease, and I need a shower.”

Stan was right, and soon disappeared into the bathroom. When he re-emerged he was clean and warm, soft in a loose t-shirt and old pajama pants as he sat next to Richie on the couch, his curly hair a little damp and slightly frizzed from drying.

“Well Stanley, it's nearly nine-thirty on a Sunday evening. Ready to get crazy?” Richie asked.

“Crazy. Right.” Stan gave him an amused look. “I have class tomorrow, so no. And you have work.”

“I do?” Richie didn't remember being put on the schedule. Stan nodded.

“The manager asked me if you were free to cover an opening shift tomorrow, and I said yes, because you are.”

“Opening shift? Those are so early though!”

“Ten-thirty is not early, Rich. Just because you only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays doesn't mean you can spend Monday doing nothing.”

“I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it means, actually.” Richie countered. “Real talk though, anything you want to do?”

Stan thought for a moment.

“I still am only on season three of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.” He said, and Richie gasped.

“Yes, that, we’re doing that right now.” He quickly pulled up a streaming site on his computer--prompting a “we really need a TV” comment from Stan--hurrying off to get his laptop's charger cord. When he returned Stan was holding a half pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and two spoons.

“You said you wanted ice cream. Want to share?” He offered, and Richie felt his heart melt into a puddle of goo on the floor. The episode started and they settled in in front of the computer screen, Richie remembering something almost at once. He pointed his spoon at Stanley in excitement.

“Stan! Can I spoil something from season five?”

“What? No.”

“It’s really important! Please? Please?” Richie repeated the word eleven more times, and finally Stan relented.

“Fine! What is it?”

“Rosa is bi! She’s bisexual.”

“Oh.” Stan smiled. “Cool.”

“Yep.” Richie winked. “Me and Rosa Diaz, two badass bisexuals.”

Stan laughed, shaking his head.

“No, you cannot compare yourself to Rosa. You’re more of a Scully than a Rosa.”

“Hey!” Richie protested, eventually convincing Stan that he was much more like Jake, the show’s main protagonist. After some hilarious back and forth Stan was likened to Amy, the character Jake just happened to be in a relationship with. If Stan noticed the comparison he didn't let on, and Richie sure as hell wasn't going to say anything about it.

“That was fun, but let’s not do the other Losers.” Stan requested.

“Oh! That Was Fun But Let’s Not Do The Other Losers: title of your sex tape.” Richie exclaimed, knocking his spoon against Stan’s. Stan laughed at the reference, leaning back into the couch cushions and resting his head on Richie’s shoulder. Richie’s breath caught in his throat, and he tried to slowly ease into the contact, Stan staying cuddled close to him for the entirety of the episode, even after the ice cream ran out. This was Richie’s third rewatch of the comedy, but for those thirty minutes, he couldn’t have said a single thing the episode was about.

#stozier #stozier fic #richie tozier #stanley uris #it 2017 #myfic #I'm so excited to post this fic #dogs #dogs!!!!#all the animal stuff sounds bad but this is a really cute n domestic fic #where pining idiot richie is front and center #dog days

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johnhaos · 6 years ago

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first impressions on the tracks of ly: answer?? 💖💖💖💖💖

i can’t believe tumblr wouldn’t let you send this ask until you took out the ily RUDE but ahhhh thank you for continuing to try we got there in the end!! ily

ahhhhh ok here we go!! so i’ve actually talked about all the songs, except the ones from tear, because i’ve never got to talk about the ones from her before (although i didn’t say much about some of them since i’ve heard them a lot so idk what to say really) so this is pretty long lmao

ahhh and like last time i listened again w/ lyrics and some of them a couple more times so it’s not exactly ~first impressions but close enough,,,, also this is a mess^tm and really inconsistent in terms of how much i say about everything (like, half of it is about trivia: love, epiphany and answer: love myself tbh omg)

ok firstly the progression on the first disc from euphoria to answer love yourself is incredible you really do get a sense of the journey that this series takes you on wow

euphoria: full studio version of euphoria i am YELLING i really love this song and jk’s voice sounds so lovely and ofc i loved the version we got in the video but with the extra parts it’s just beautiful, i love the ‘euphoria’ at the end of the last chorus, the way it rises is just lovely and hmm i’m,,,, not actually sure whether i’ve actually looked at the lyrics before?? but ofc it’s a beautifully written song

trivia just dance: JUNG HOSEOK OMG I’M !!!! holy shit my mouth literally dropped open like 5 seconds in lmao THE BEAT AND HIS RAP AND THE VOCALS OHHHH MY GOD wow this sounds incredible he did that!! it’s so,,, hobi?? g o d and the bit at @2.50 when he’s doing that low rap and repeating the word ‘baby’ hahaahah rip me

serendipity: g o d i adored the intro version i was so excited to see we were getting a full version and ahhh the additional part wow,,, i really love the sound of this song and jimin’s voice is so soft and beautiful i could cry tbh,,,, oooh and the little drum bit at ~3 mins nice,,,,, idk, listening to this song feels like being wrapped in a blanket?? like the combination of the music and jimin’s voice is just really comforting and ahhh it has such beautiful lyrics

dna: ahhh ok idk what to say about dna but g o d it’s really such a bop i always wanna get up and dance (i use that term loosely because i cannot dance lmao) and g o d tae’s voice still completely and utterly kills me in this whew,,,,, and i love the bit that alternates between yoongi and jk

dimple: asdfsa ok i remember being really unsure how i felt about this song when i first heard it but it’s kinda grown on me,,, the ‘so i call you illegirl’ bit always kills me though lmao but it always puts a smile on my face and it’s cute!!

trivia love: oooh i love the piano intro wow nice KIM NAMJOON K I L L I N G IT the background music is soooo nice i’m loving this vibe omg and he sounds amazing,,, ok i just read the lyrics and notes [x] before listening again and i am also so blown away by the depth of namjoon’s lyrics and the thought that goes into them, the way he can play with words and incorporate details about the pronunciation and written form of the language is truly incredible g o d,,,, and then also using the difference between live and love in english?? and god i remember him talking about both of those similarities during the interviews in america as well daaamn. he,,,, i,,,, i’m really struggling to put into words how i feel about this song and joon rn it’s a lot but god i have so much love and respect and admiration for him,,,,

her: THE TRANSITION from love to this ooof,,,, this is my fave rap line song tbh, i love the music they use and their flows are amazing and the chorus (and using wonder, answer, her and tear PLS) i honestly love it so much such an underated song can people please stop sleeping on the rap line tracks istg and appreciate them pls it’s what they deserve

ok god i wasn’t gonna talk about the ly: tear tracks but singularity really owns me and i still cannot get over this song and how absolutely perfect it is for tae and how good he sounds and asdfdsa possibly my fave intro tbh and just a fave in general wow,,, ok right moving on

trivia seesaw: *whispers* suga HE’S BACK asdfgsa,,, HIS VOCALS HOLY SHIT MIN YOONGI !!!!! GOD this is soooo good the music and the mix of rap and vocals i am YELLING he really did that and his voice at the end fuck i am dead

epiphany: (ok the bit until // is what i wrote after the mv dropped and then i added some stuff listening to the album) you know how we both said we were !!! every time jin sang on tear?! this was a whole song of that wow truly blessed!! ok so firstly, the style of song is the kind of style that i really like, i’m always drawn to their more ballad-esque songs and this is no exception. and god it’s so perfect for jin?? he voice sounds heavenly and just works /so/ well with this style of music (the same for the other intros & euphoria, they really killed it with showing the individual voices of the vocal line throughout the love yourself series bless) ahhh and the lyrics are so beautiful and the message of love yourself within them just wraps the series up so nicely like ‘i’m the one i should love in this world’ and ‘not so perfect but so beautiful’ are so meaningful,,,, // OMG AND THE BITS THAT WEREN’T IN THE MV I JUST GASPED and god the lyrics for the new parts as well this whole song and message makes me so emotional i,,,,,

i’m fine: ok i read the description yesterday that this drew on save me but i literally had to pause like 3 seconds in because i was not ready for that DAMN though this is so good,,,, tae’s voice at the beginning and joon’s verse !!!! hobi saying hope world my heart soars tbh and damn yoongi’s verse my god he sped off it made me breathless just listening to it what a legend and the vocal line ahhhh this is a bop,,,, ahhh right ok second listen with lyrics, i actually listened to save me again with lyrics first gosh and the parallels [x] esp. w/ joon’s verse in the two i’m,,,,, these boys are really something else this is amazing

idol: ahhh i always end up struggling to talk about the title track because i always watch the mv a few times first but don’t note down any thoughts rip,,,, but i love the use of traditional instruments in this and it has such a good beat i cannot wait to see a full choreo for this,,,, and the lyrics!! THE LYRICS!!! (wow i’m so good at explaining my feelings rip) like ‘i know what i am / i know what i want’ [x] and ‘i do what i do, so you just focus on yourself / you can’t stop me loving myself’ but YEAH i really love this and it’s so high energy i was jamming away lmao

answer love myself: was that a *whispers* suga i heard?? i love that this has become a thing i really do,,,, the vocal line sound so beautiful and the rap line parts are incredible,,,, AND i just burst into tears ok wow i’m not even listening with lyrics so i bet that’s gonna make me sob even more gosh what a beautiful way to round off the ly series. oh god and magic shop right after?? this is unfair i was already crying and now it’s gonna be even worse asdfdsa,,,,, ok here we go second listen with lyrics helP god ok so i just read them to begin with and i’ve got goosebumps these lyrics are really,,,, just pretty relatable tbh like ‘perhaps, more so than loving someone else / it is even more difficult to love myself / let’s honestly accept what needs to be accepted / the standards you set are stricter for yourself’ [x] just,,,, yeah,,,,, and the ‘you’ve shown me i have reasons / i should love myself’ part sounds gorgeous,,, oh and hey guess what?? i’m crying again god this song is really something

best of me: i,,,, don’t know really,,,, it’s not my fave track tbh but it’s still a bop,,,, the transition from magic shop to this is cool though with the ‘you gave me the best of me so you’ll give you the best of you’ / ‘you got the best of me’ lyric parallels though

go go: BOP!! BOP!! BOP!! ahhh i really love the music used and wow all of hobi’s noises and backing vocals really add to it this song would sound so different without them,,,, ohhh and this followed by anpanman?? iconic incredible amazing

mic drop: god this always makes me start jamming out and mic mic bungee remains iconic ok that’s all

dna pedal 2 la mix: OH OK i mean i had no idea what to expect because wtf does pedal 2 la mix mean?? and i would not have imagined that but HOLY SHIT?? god this goes so hard i’m yelling and tae’s voice works so well with this mix wow

fake love rocking vibe remix: ok we’d already heard this but ahhh i do love this version

mic drop steve aoki remix: i am so glad we’ve finally got this version on spotify because i really enjoy the remix but i don’t listen to the version w/ d*siigner and this has the dance break bits as well!!! so this is what i really wanted!! good stuff!!

and we’re just gonna ignore idol feat. n*cki m*naj ok good,,, bye

overall conclusions, g o d the new songs are incredible and exceeded any expectations i had of them tbh i’m really just super emotional about the boys at the moment i love them so damn much

#q and a #suaboras #bangtansofts #thought i'd tag you as well ginny hope that's ok!!#long post //#thank you thank you #i really enjoyed doing this #i feel like it makes me appreciate the album more than i would otherwise #also i copied this into word #and it was almost 2000 words asdfdsa #(if only i was putting this much effort into my dissertation rn oops)#but ahh thanks again ily!!#ahh and there's a lot of rambling about tae and the rap line #who's surprised?? not me!!

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago

Text

How artistic are you? Ha, I can color. That’s all I got.

Do you want to go to Africa? I’d loveeeee to visit giraffe manor.

AC/DC or Aerosmith? Aerosmith.

Do you know what Armenia is? Yes, it’s a country.

What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Ew, none.

Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? Well, I had to Google it because the artist didn’t ring a bell, but I am actually familiar with their song.

Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have two brothers.

Which bank do you use? Noneya Bank.

Which comedian do you most enjoy? I don’t have a favorite comedian.

Would you ever live in California? I’ve lived here all my life.

Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? *Dog lady, yes.

How many different countries have visited? Just one.

Do you believe there’s a devil? Yes.

Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? No.

Can you legally drive? Nope. I haven’t gotten my license. Nor have I ever taken any lessons.

What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? I don’t want to get into all that.

How often do you drink energy drinks? I drink Starbucks Doubleshots pretty often. That’s the only energy drink I like. Where did you live when you were 11 years old? Different house, but same city.

Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie? Why not say Johnny Depp?

Have you ever felt an earthquake? I’ve only felt effects from the aftershocks. This past summer was the first time I’ve ever felt it and it was such a weird feeling. I felt myself swaying and I had to lie down.

When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Last night.

Do you think French is the most beautiful language? Uhhh, sure.

Is Friday your favorite day of the week? I don’t have a favorite day of the week. They’re pretty much all the same to me.

Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ Doesn’t sound familiar.

Do you have real gold jewelry? No.

How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? I never watched it.

Is Google your homepage? Yes.

Do you like Geico’s commercials? I thought a couple were cute.

When did you last feel happy? Hm.

Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? Hot Topic.

Did you dress up last Halloween? Nope. It’s been a few years now since I’ve dressed up. I’m over it.

Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? Yeah, and I do.

Have you ever been on an island? No.

Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? Maybe.

Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Greenland, right? I thought they were actually opposite of what their name is or something.

Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? No.

Do you enjoy jogging? No.

On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? Piano.

How much do you know about John Lennon? I know he was in The Beatles, I know a couple of his own songs, I know he was married to Yoko Ono, and I know he was shot.

Do you know how Jell-O is made? I know how it’s made when you buy the powder stuff from the store, ha.

Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) I have. I’m not a big fan, honestly. I like cake donuts better.

How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? Zero. Lol, that reminds me of Jake from Statefarm.

Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Yeah.

Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? No.

Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No. I have no reason for one.

In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? Besides English, I can also count to 100 in Spanish.

What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? I don’t care for lollipops.

Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? Yes.

What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? Dumb.

Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? I didn’t know they did. I’ll have to check that.

How did you form your opinion of marijuana? The research.

How often do you sleep naked? Never. I would find that incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t like being naked. Like literally after a shower I quickly put my clothes back on.

Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? Sometimes, just out of curiosity.

Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nirvana.

How nerdy are you (in what ways)? I like to read and I love superhero movies and Star Wars. Some see those things as nerdy *shrug*

What do you think about olives? I like black olives.

Are you much of an outdoorsy person? Nope. How big of an Oprah fan are you? I wouldn’t say I’m a fan. That doesn’t mean I don’t like or anything, but I just don’t keep with her.

How often do you shop online? All the time.

Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? It was cool. I got to dance a bit with my crush at the time, so that was nice. ;)

How are your local policemen? They’re swamped because there’s a lot of stuff going on that keeps them busy.

What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Just good ol’ creamy peanut butter and grape jelly.

What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? I thought it was so stupid.

How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? Not always, but yeah pretty accurate.

Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? I don’t think I’ve been to a Quiznos, so Subway I guess. Not a big fan of that either anymore, though.

Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) Yeah, back in middle or high school. Is that the ax^2 + bx + c = 0?

What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who? Hmm.

How many rooms are in your home? 2 bedrooms.

Do you like raspberries? I like some raspberry flavored things.

What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? Getting caught out right in the middle of a rain storm while at an outdoor festival. I got soakedddd.

Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? Yes, my freshmen year in high school.

Do you know any Sign Language? Only a few things.

What is your sleeping schedule generally like? Shitty. I’m typically up until 4AM and wake up around noon, waking up a few times in between. How well do you sing? I can’t sing well, but I still do it.

How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? I have a mix of genres from different decades on my Spotify, so it varies.

What do you think of Twitter? I like it.

How much do you value the Ten Commandments? I value them greatly.

Are there many trees where you live? Yeah.

How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? “I wish I was a little bit taller.”

Where do you usually buy your underwear? Kohl’s.

How do you define ‘ugly’? Something unpleasant.

Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? I’ve only been to an actual store a couple of times, but I’ve been on their website several times and while they have some cute stuff, they’re way too damn expensive.

Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? I wouldn’t be described that way.

For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? At a reasonable level.

Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? Nope. It’s cancelled now anyway.

Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? Yeah.

Are you currently on wireless Internet? Yeah.

Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? Nope.

Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar’? We don’t have a White Castle here, but the stores do sell their burgers in the frozen food section. I’ve only had those, not the real, fresh thing.

Have you gone to Washington, D.C.? Did you like it? (OR-do you want to go?) I’ve never been.

Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? I needed a CT Scan for something.

When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? I read it as “hugs and kisses.”

What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? 10. 9 is IX. Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? I remember playing those in music class sometimes in elementary school.

Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? They’re opposites. Yin is the negative, dark one and yang is the positive, bright one.

Did you know that yawning is contagious? It’s not always.

Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? I liked the little box container thingy where you poked a straw in the top, ya know? The strawberry flavor is best.

How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? I don’t know.

What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Hercules.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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joons-expensive-gurl · 8 years ago

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Underrated BTS Songs (but ironically are the best)

So I've decided to put together a "small" list of BTS songs that I think are so underrated. I'm not really sure how many are gonna be on here, but I'm gonna try and put them all with little annotations as well. While I was writing, I realised that all of these songs don't have music videos and shit, which might be why they're so underrated. I also noticed they mostly come mid album and after, but still get a LOT of love. Anywho, enjoy~ 1 - Dead Leaves So, Dead Leaves is my ultimate favourite BTS song. However, I think the reason for it being so underrated (which it is in newer armies) is the fact that it's the very last song before the outro in TMBMiL: pt 2. I really feel that this song had the potential to be a title song, but being at the end meant it was overshadowed by other songs such as Silver Spoon. Even so, many older armies will tell you it's one of their favourite songs. It just does something to us. (I think another reason has something to do with the fan war over plagiarism of this and They Never Know. Despite Dead Leaves having another level of brilliance, I think fans just stayed away to keep away from the drama) 2 - I Like it Another one of my absolute favourites. I Like it is on their first album, and is one of our first looks at slow, more-pop-than-hip-hop BTS. It's a gorgeous song, which I really think the vocal line just slaaayyy at doing. But it's definitely underrated, seeing as many fans wanted a hip hop BTS, not more of a singing pop BTS. 3 - Circle Room Cypher This outro is BEYOND underrated. Not only is it the first BTS cypher, it also features every member having a little go over at rapping over another member's beat boxing. It's great. And if you watch a lyric video, the lyrics are actually pretty funny. It's a great outro, and I'm really upset that I only discovered it a few months ago. It's by far an amazing song which deserves more than it gets. 4 - If I Ruled the World Any song that starts with V's deep vocals is a good song. And If I Ruled the World is a very good song. It's old school BTS, on the O! R U L8 2 album. It's fun, quirky and has this weird (but cool) machine-y noise in the background, kinda like in EXO's Playboy. It's such a great song but I don't hear it often and I don't hear people talking about it often either. 5 - Tomorrow Tomorrow holds a very special place in my heart, and many other army's hearts. But that doesn't stop it from being so underrated. Part of the Skool Luv Affair album, it takes a different route from Attack of Bangtan and Jump. It's slow, with a loud beat, layered vocals and amazing rapping from our beloved rap line. It's lyrics are just amazing, ensuring you it's okay to give up but only until tomorrow when you can try again. Since it's in an older album, though, many newer armies don't get to listen to it's beauty for quite some time. 6 - Triptych (Cypher Pt 2) I LOVE TRIPTYCH. It's an amazing cypher by the boys, kicking off with J-Hope rapping (which is unusual., but we love it). Mony has a massive rapping section entirely in English which I may or may not be able to do... and Suga as usual kills it. But this doesn't stop it from being one of the most underrated BTS tracks ever. When Killer and Pt 4 came out, it was overshadowed and of course, forgotten, but if you haven't heard it, go and check it out. It will not disappoint. 7 - Hip Hop Phile I love Dark&Wild. It's my favourite BTS album, with probably the most underrated songs ever. And we'll start with Hip Hop Phile. This song is amazing. It's a song dedicated to the love of Hip Hop that each member holds. Our rap line have great flows as usual and the over song had a very dark feeling to it. It fits right in with the overall theme of the album, but I feel it definitely doesn't get enough love. 8 - Rain Rain, originally to be called Seoul Rain, is a beautiful song. It definitely does justice in being a more slow song on such a hyped album, and is easily a favourite if you finding yourself struggling to sleep in the night, it's a go to song simply for it being so calming. Definitely go and listen if you haven't all ready. 9 - Could You Turn Off Your Cell Phone? This song tackles a pandemic sweeping across the world without us knowing. The anti-social pandemic caused by cellphones (or as us Brits call 'em, mobile phones). The song is about putting our phones away for just 5 minutes to have an actual conversation with people, and that our boys are SICK of seeing people mindlessly using them to get likes on social media. But it doesn't get talked about a lot. Not sure why, but I'm guessing because of the album it's on (sadly). It hits hard to anyone who listens but it's such a fun, kinda bouncy song that will have you pressing repeat a gajillion times. 10 - Look Here THIS. SONG. IS. FUCKING. AMAZING. Easily one of my favourites for having this very summery, light hearted theme. When I listen, I imagine a beach party somewhere hot with people dancing along to BTS singing on stage. It definitely has this kind of tropical island party theme with guitars which I just adore. The bridge is literally Jimin making sex puns and the whole song is about them being into you and wanting to make you theirs so "이기 봐". However, every song on D&W is overshadowed by Killer... so yeah... 11 - Does That Make Sense? my favourite outro of all time is easily D&W's Does That Make Sense. It will make you body roll. It has such a beautiful beat and the music atop of that is slow, sensual and it all comes together with the vocal lines amazing voices. Jimin especially. There's also a part with Mony's voice all deep and kinda distorted and it honestly makes the song so much better. Howveer, Again, because it's on the wrong album (D&W being sooo underrated) it just didn't get much attention. I really can't explain the song so I'll just have to let you go listen if you haven't. (It's great it reminds me of my holiday to Whitby where I first heard it and it shocked me sm. it was and still is a gorgeous song. I really wish they'd made a full version with the rap line. That would've been e v e r y t h i n g). (Also Jimin's high notes at the end slayed me) 12 - Move This. Fucking. Song. If you haven't heard Move, go listen to it right now. Also knowing as Moving On, it's slow and sweet (which I think is why it's underrated - because it's so slow compared to other songs in the album). The lyrics are about simply moving houses and letting go of the memories there, though with Spotify translating it as Moving On, I got confused and thought it was about moving on from a relationship. Lol nope. In the right moment, it can actually make you cry, so just be weary. Overall, it is a brilliant song and takes a two back from Run and Dope with a slow, steady beat. 13 - Whalien 52 This song is MY song (lmao). It's simply about being on your own and they use the metaphor of a whale which is a solo creature to describe how they're feeling. If you don't take the lyrics literally and have a little knowledge on whales, the lyrics are easy to understand. I'm not really sure why it's underrated. It just is which is honestly so upsetting. The music itself is so gorgeous. It fits right in with the message that the song is trying to portray and I really do think that everything in this song just works. It's definitely worth listening to. 14 - Silver Spoon Silver Spoon is one of those BTS songs that once you listen to, you love (like all of them). It's old school BTS, though you can still hear their newer style. The rap line kill it as usual and with the vocal line coming in strong with the chorus, its overall a great song. The only thing that makes it even better is the dance practice. You know, where your precious lil Yoongi twerks. Seriously, the song is amazing especially if you're into rap. The beat on this song is amazing - it's really strong and at the same time blends in really well. However, no matter how much praise it gets, I strongly believe it's underrated. It doesn't get as much love as what it should do. Still, only Min Yoongi can write a masterpiece like Silver Spoon. 15 - House of Cards Or more appropriately named 50 Shades of BTS. This song takes sexy to a whole new level. I don't care who you are, if you don't body roll to this song, there's something desperately wrong. House of Cards is phenomenal. Featuring only the vocal line, it finished TMBMiL: pt 2 off right. With a piano, violin and great beat, you can't help but drown in the beautiful, sexy vibes of this song. Again, this song just doesn't get love. I think because of how slow it is, but ask any older army and they'll tell you House of Cards is one of their faves. 16 - Hold Me Tight Hold Me Tight is yet another masterpiece. Pianos and vocals. The song features this beautiful piano at the beginning which is gorgeous and transforms into this beautiful beat, with Mony's beautiful rough, whispering raps taking off. You know exactly which vocals I'm on about. The rapping overall is softer than usual, with Hobi starting off with this kinda singing kinda talking with will actually take your breath away. Suga actually sings a little and my heart dies a tiny bit every time. It's so out of the normal for BTS, seeing as the rappers are more singing than rapping, but it only adds to the song and makes it even more perfect. Fans definitely need to listen to it, since it doesn't get a lot of love. 17 - I Need U (Remix) Okay, don't kill me but I actually prefer this remix to the original. It just has this more electric, EDM-y feeling to it which is simply stunning. However, I think fans are just skeptical of remixes. Y'all shouldn't be scared this remix kills it. They've even performed it live, for fucks sake. That's when you know it's good. If you haven't yet listened, off you go. You won't regret it. 18 - First Love Whatever Min Suga produces, it should be loved and for some stupid fucking reason, First Love isn't loved! First Love is Yoongi talking about a piano. His first piano. It's a beautiful song once you get round the lyrics. And yes, it's slow, it's different to Begin and Lie. But it's fucking beautiful and if you skip it on Spotify, you're missing out. Just because it isn't normal Min Suga like ducking Tony Montana and him boasting about making you cum with his tongue technology, it doesn't mean it's a bad song. In fact, I think it's even better because it shows Yoongi can have variety. APPRECIATE IT! 19 - Reflection Okay, Mony as well?! Reflection is one of my favourite solos simply because of its slow, beautiful beat. The lyrics at the end "I wish I could love myself" hit hard to home and you know you can count on Namjoon to make you feel the feels. His rapping is flawless and he even sings a bit which only enhances the song. It's perfect and fans overlook it so much. Even though they shouldn't. 20 - Am I Wrong I have no idea how to explain this song apart from "Cowboy EDM". This song takes some cowboy-esque music and some lyrics from another singer and makes it into the song we know (and should love). Trust Yoongi to come out with something so western and yet so modern. I love it. The guitars, the beat, the drop, the vocals, the rap. It's all great. But it again, gets overlooked because it's different. Believe it or not, this song is great. It deserves all the love.

#my opinion #underrated BTS songs #this is so sad #all these songs r faves #love them and appreciate them

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years ago

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Stars Align 2

The first episode I saw at the anime club, so I’ve skipped straight to ep 2 for the coverage.

Hmm? I thought this would cut to the OP…it didn’t.

Oh, poor Maki! He has a slap mark on his face!

Why is it uniforms are so gendered anyway? Not just sports ones. (It might be because I’m so used to wearing other people’s hand me downs, regardless of their gender, but…yeah.)

The real tennis-playing dude is Kei Nishikori…LOL.

That’s the 3rd Ishigami for this season, methinks. (The others hail from Dr Stone.)

Come to think of it, the most I’ve ever done in one shot is 10 laps of a court (and that was with lots of practice). 20 would be torture…

The animation…where it goes black and white…that’s awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee, y’know???

I like how Maki’s just splat on the ground without his hands to support him.

Windows tablet with stand. I’ve seen those in stores and catalogues before…they should run Windows 7 at the bare minimum, 8 or 10 if they’re newer.

Maki’s top says “continue” on it. It’s a good shirt for a boy that really does continue, despite his hardships.

I-Is Maki’s mother having an affair…? With Shou? Or is Shou a good friend of hers who happens to be male?

The way Toma wears his jacket…it reminds me of Chuuya (BSD). Pretty badass for a middle school kid, don’tcha think?

Kenkou = health, so a squishy ball is a health ball…makes sense. It’s good for the circulation and all that.

When Toma started explaining the grips…I realised I’d fallen into what I just called the Tsuritama trap…that is, when I watch a show for entertainment and end up learning about skills I’ll never need in the process.

Both boys are righthanded, I noticed.

Didn’t notice at first, but Toma put the ball in his pocket.

Is it just me or is there CGI in this show…? (That’s a feeling I’ve had since ep 1, but haven’t been able to confirm since it’s so well integrated.)

Hmm…I heard there was plagiarism going around with this show’s choreography…I didn’t see the Chika dance in context, so I wouldn’t know if it was copied from there. Still, it’s interesting how the guy on the left (if there is one) generally does better than the one on the right. Some of them just give up in the end, LOL.

Hmm…Hoshiai no Sora means “The Sky where Stars Line Up” or something of the sort…hence, “Stars Align”.

“Even in an ever-changing world, the starlit sky will not change.” – That’s the words that sometimes accompany the title.

BnHA 65

Yeah, how are the League any different to the yakuza anyway?

The interesting thing is that Deku also has “power he can’t control”, but we see more of that narrative.

I love how Mic’s words were put into the visuals too, culminating in the “HA!”.

Okay, so Togata’s pun is that he’ll ittemirio, a pun on his name (obviously) and ittemiro (let’s go see). The English says I Togata see, which keeps his name in there and keeps the level of cheesiness to boot! Good job subbers! (By the way, that pun’s not in the manga.)

I already know what happens in this arc (thank you, free Viz chapters!), so now I have this sinking feeling when it comes to talking about Nighteye…

Apparently Bubble Girl was a winning design from a competition. Sorta like how Horikoshi appeared in One Piece one time and that, you could say, was the start of his career in print (so it’s a legacy in a sense).

Iruma-kun 3

Oh hey, I just realised Asmodeus’s nails are bright red…that’s kinda cute, actually. (In that “boys are hot” kinda “cute” sense, people.)

I have no idea what the lyrics to Clara’s song are meant to be in Japanese…not that I could track down whatever the heck she’s singing anyway.

Okay, so “play house” appears to be mamagoto (literally “mother’s thing[s]” (in a metaphorical sense, playing house is replicating mothers’ chores, so…yeah, mothers’ things), but it’s got the character for “demon” twice instead of what it should have. Hence “murder house”.

Hey, couldn’t you at least make Azz-Azz (as you call him) your husband?(!) (small LOL)

Demonathon = marathon, but with the character for “demon”. That’s actually straightforward in both languages…for once.

The alarm clock is a cute bird with horns!!! So cute!!!

I feel sorry for Opera. Which reminds me, why would Sullivan need a butler if he was living alone?

Whoa! Iruma actually refused before Clara said “please”! He’s growing a spine! So early…(whispers “My boy is growing up so fast…” as a joke)

Clara’s nails are a bright pink…a few shades off from Asmodeus’s red, but still really bright.

*vending machine appears* - Now that’s what I call “getting Yocchan some cold drinks”!

Azz isn’t dressed in white, he’s in pink! Dang colour palette, going against what Clara says!

I just realised Asmodeus wears two jackets…or is that a jacket and a long shirt?

There’s no pun in that segment title…it’s just “Akuma no Otomodachi”.

Poor Opera…it looks like he’s wearing two pairs of pants…or maybe that’s his shirt? Or his boxers? Who knows?...Actually, when I think about it, that might just be his shirt. Sorry, Opera.

Wait…so if most of the demons fly to school, why do Asmodeus, Clara and Iruma walk…? (Well, Iruma can’t fly, but the other two might be able to…) Update: We do kind of address this in the next ep, but that doesn’t answer why Clara hasn’t shown she can fly in that ep.

Oh, if it isn’t Sna-er, Kalego…(LOL) But seriously, Kalego’s hairdo is actually kinda nice for a guy. Then again, I’m the one who likes dudes with long hair, so…eh. I can take it or leave it.

Did Kalego never meet Clara…?

Eggie-sensei…no kidding, that’s what she says. It’s from the –ego in “Kalego”, of course. (But I have no idea if “Azz-Azz” is what Clara actually says for Asmodeus…) Similarly, the school store guy is called Kamukamu-san, so it’s literally “Comecome”...as in “come and buy from me”. Update: Yes, Azz-Azz is what she calls him.

There aren’t a lot of girls in that crowd, Eggie-sensei and Clara…

Eggie-sensei really is shaped like an egg! So fluffy! I wanna plushie of him in that form!

Wait, the sticker costs 333 bills? Iruma’s gonna have to pay for it later…Update: 2 stickers = 666 bills.

“Pay me.” – LOLLLLLLLLLLL! I’m so sorry, Fluffy Snape, but you were hilarious in that scene!!!

Demons don’t even have the concept of “friends”…? That’s…cute! Way too cute!

The mochi Clara refers to is because tomodachi is the word for friend (it has “mochi” in it, see?).

There’s Sullivan’s face on his stamp, LOL.

See? Asmodeus does have black wings like the demons you see in all those morning shots of this show!!!

Dr Stone 16

Byakuya (Senku’s dad)…his face keeps getting censored, even though it’s right there on the spinoff promo material…! *points to the spinoff page on Viz*

The piano music in this scene is nice…I heard the OST is on Spotify too, so I’ll chase it up later.

“Senku, the science guy” doesn’t have as much of a ring to it as Bill Nye does.

Taiju’s just got this proud face, like he didn’t really know what he was doing but he claimed the credit anyway…the big oaf. (LOL)

There’s a banana on Senku’s phone, LOL.

Hmm…where’s Senku’s mum? Did he ever have one?

Shamil’s face looks like Tsukasa’s so much, it almost unnerves me…

[TMS Football Stadium] - TMS is responsible for this anime adaption, I’m pretty sure…LOL.

A Byakuya reboot just started in manga form. I wonder if the Dr Stone anime will cover any of it…?

BnHA 66

Notably, “hero work studies” = hero internships. Those two translations seem to be interchangeable.

Normally, the end of the phrase would be “Boy Meets Girl”, right? There’s an important girl in this arc, y’know?

The contract is kind of hard to read, but I did make out the word “Nighteye” in katakana.

Technically, Midoriya should be in possession of a funny bone - the humerus, y’know??? (<- comically missing the point)

Mirio kinda reminds me of Araki (Area no Kishi), for some reason…it must be because they both like comedy. Then again, Midoriya at the moment is reminding me of Bakugo, because of all the mouth shapes being similar…

This is interesting. In the manga, the scene pointing out Ochako and Tsuyu weren’t going to be at their original internship places wasn’t at the dorms.

Ooh! They’re even foreshadowing Hawks, which wasn’t even in the manga at this stage!!

I do believe this “Hado and Amajiki talking to the students who’ll be relevant to this arc” is also anime-original. Todoroki’s joke was definitely AO (anime original).

Shinchou Yuusha 3

…can we not with the boob jokes??? Rista doesn’t have a flat board, people. Update: She also acknowledges this…we don’t know Aria’s size, but Rista is a D cup.

Oooh, oooooooooooh! I spy a ponytail boy in the back there and me likey! (I guess I’m still feeling a bit bummed out because I attended a wedding yesterday and ended up crushing on a cousin’s younger brother-in-law – precisely because he had long hair, but then he put it up into a man bun and I went, “Nope, I can’t have him,” not to mention he’s married already. Plus the Area no Kishi episode I found today – ep. 30 – had a kinda chubby Araki, so I noped out of it and as a result, I need me some bishonen to appease the eyes. Good thing Seiya does the trick.)

Marth, eh? *thinks about the blogger* Then again, there’s my reaction when it comes to Ariadoa…

Oh, this is like a PreCure dance ED. I see…then it turns out to be Rista’s figure alarm. The logic checks out.

Iruma-kun 4

Seriously, Azz doesn’t sound like he should be Iruma’s age…but that’s part of the joke, I guess. *gets pelted with tomatoes for revealing said joke*

So “The Misfit Class” is technically the “Problem Child Class” (Mondaiji Kurasu), but the alternative reading given to mondaiji says “Abnormal”.

It seems “devi” is an alternative way to say “very” in this show, hence the ED being “Debikyu” (Devi Cute).

I…think these demon ranks may actually be Phonecian letters (which I learnt about from Star Driver)…

That “thinking reed” business I knew from somewhere, but…turns out it’s just a person called Blaise Pascal.

A “heugh”? Wassat? (It just sounds like some noise you’d make when you barf…) Okay, I’m joking, here’s the real meaning: “a steep crag or cliff” or “a ravine or glen with overhanging sides.”

Clara, stop fiddling with Sabrock’s tail…!

Oh, demon birds are cute! Like regular sparrows, only with a different colour scheme! The demonitors are cute too!

So many cute birds~. I’m so spoilt~!

Hmm…if humans cause demons to heal…no wonder they’re delicacies.

Hmm…I suspected this episode would end with a cliffhanger. The plotline was running far too long for just 23 mins.

Stars Align 3

Geesh, Toma’s got a huge bag…Update: (They all have huge bags, what are you saying???)

Lemme guess – I know nothing about tennis, but the best tennis doubles need good communication. I learnt that sort of thing from the Amazing Race, to be real with you.

Come to think of it…it’s always the mother with her unconditional love, huh? Any single fathers in anime? (No, I don’t mean like Father Fujimoto in Blue Exorcist – he’s an adoptive father.)

Judging from the cacti and fossils, Toma likes paleontology and biology. Or maybe that was from Ryoma…who knows?

Toma appears to have green frames for his glasses and then standard black frames.

Dang, it cut in the middle of that revelation! If this were a manga, I would’ve been chomping at the bit for the next chapter! However, it does get finished at the very end, so keep watching.

Update: There’s not a lot of music to this show…not that that’s a bad thing. It’s good for tense moments, in fact.

No Guns Life 3

This OP rocks, man!

Ayatsuri Ningyo = Manipulated Puppet. Or Puppet for Manipulation.

That thing on the door says “best luck” (daikichi). It’s a very Chinese thing to do.

His apron says “meat”. He’s probably a butcher or something.

How does a guy with a gun for a head drink coffee? (small LOL)

I remember someone called Juzo with Basket “a Nezuko cosplay”.

Does Tetsuro’s voice change for the Extended he affects with Harmony?

I noticed in the ED Juzo has an arm missing…must be important later.

I believe Mary’s shirt in the ED says “skill” or “technique” (read as “gi” or “waza”).

#simulcast commentary #Boku no Hero Academia #shinchou yuusha #kono yuusha ga ore tueee kuse ni shinchou sugiru #No Guns Life #Mairimashita! Iruma-kun #Dr Stone #hoshiai no sora #stars align #Chesarka watches Dr Stone #Chesarka watches BnHA #Chesarka watches NGL #Chesarka watches M-Ik #Chesarka watches Stars Align #Chesarka watches Shinchou Yuusha

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qualiteabullshit-blog · 7 years ago

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5 Pints

“This is all the sun’s fault.”

“Barry, you can’t say that for everything.”

“Why not? If it weren’t for the sun we wouldn’t have any plants or food, we would fail to exist.”

“And by extension, it’s the reason there is a figurative mountain of vomit in the sink and 14 Harp cans beside it, yes?”

“Precisely.”

“By that logic it’s also the reason we have crippling student debt, but you can’t exactly tell the bank that can you?”

“I dunno, I think I could make a great case for it.”

“You are a right twat you know that?”

“A hungover twat” He corrected.

“I’m surprised you’re even alive, or have insides for that matter.”

Simon inspected the ant hill of (he hoped) human digestive juices putrefying in the sink.

“Has the Uni got in contact with you yet?”

“What, about the noise complaint?” Barry peeled himself off the sofa, shielding his eyes from the previous night’s escapades and

“No not that, just thinking they might want to use you in some biological studies. ‘A study on the escape velocity of 4 kebabs and a case of beer’ might be a good title. “ He said, in his best Brian Cox impression.

“3 kebabs. Maybe a burrito, not sure, it was all just a blur of cholesterol and bad decisions.”

“Well whatever it is, clean it up, we’re going out in 30 minutes.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, what time is it?”

“5:30. PM, before you ask.”

“Oh Christ. I’m not going to make it. Leave me to die here in peace.

“You’re going. You already promised Kate you would be there.”

“Shit I did. Right, time to do what I do best. Cleaning up after things I could have easily prevented. “

While Barry wrestled with a bottle of Domestos and a rather sorry looking mop, Simon went upstairs to get ready. Kate said she would be bringing a friend, and he had been single for long enough, even if it was a rough break up. But that was months ago, and apparently, this new girl was cute. Sometimes when a friend who is a girl says their friend is cute, it doesn’t normally end well. However, he had seen a few photos of her, and his judgement was the same. While Barry cleaned up with the efficiency of a pigeon escaping a bottle bank, Simon prepared as best he could for meeting someone new.

6pm rolled on, and Simon and Barry had managed to get to the bar in time. Once in a blue moon there was a bouncer on, and today it seemed to be a lovely shade of navy. He stood the same height as he was wide, similar to a barrel of whiskey with plenty more punch.

“Evening fellas, in for the night?”

“We’ll see, depends how the match goes.”

Barry kept his head low, desperate not to catch the bouncer’s attention.

“Why do you look so shifty all of a sudden?” Simon asked.

“Look, I may or may not have asked him last night if he was an extra in the hobbit, I’m not sure.”

“Jesus Christ Barry, you can’t just ask people that.”

They went to the bar, ordered two pints of whatever was cheapest, and looked around for friendly company. “There’s Kate, in one of the booths. She’s got us decent seats for once. “

They wandered over past eager fans and armchair pundits, to their sanctuary for the night. The two women sat on one side, the two men on the other.

“You’re finally here, I thought you wouldn’t make it.”

“Yeah well this prick didn’t exactly help.” Simon replied.

“I’m sure he didn’t. Where are my manners? Simon, this is Chloe. Chloe this is Simon.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Simon.” Chloe said, in an accent so Northern English it could be considered fake. It was charming, he thought.

“The pleasure is all mine Chloe. “He smirked.

As the drinks flowed, so did the goals. The crowd ‘ooed’ and ‘ahhed’ and booed and cheered. Barry was enthralled with the match, so to keep himself busy, Simon tried his best to entertain Kate and her charming companion.

Chloe stood 5 foot nothing tall, with long, curly locks of brown hair, seemingly untameable by even the best hairdresser, but she seemed to have a decent grasp on it. Her smoky eye shadow accentuated her piercingly green eyes. A small button nose and thin lips helped complete her cute aesthetic. While he was certainly enjoyed her physical appearance, he relished in her wit and humour.

“What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?” She asked him.

“I’m not sure. What?”

“It only takes one nail to hang a picture.” She could barely get it out of her mouth before she burst into a fit of laughter, her eyes becoming little lines from her squinting, yet were open enough to let that mischievous sparkle in her eye shine.

They shared more laughs and drinks, quickly becoming engrossed in each other’s company. There was something in her that he wasn’t sure about however. At times, she seemed withdrawn, not wanting to participate in conversation, keeping her cards close to her chest. Then other times you could hardly get a word in. She had a vague sense of mysteriousness about her. He liked mysteries.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is that blood?” Simon asked Barry.

“No?”

“That’s not a question that should be answered with another question, Barry.”

“Look, it could be jam, it could be blood, it could be prune juice.”

“I don’t know what’s worse.”

“Well I’m allergic to prunes so it might not be that.”

“Yeah, solid deduction there, fucking Sherlock Holmes.”

Simon walked around the remains of Barry’s bedroom. In every space that had enough space for him to place a foot, there was also a stain that was maybe the reason for the space.

“Barry, you need to tidy up a bit.”

“Simon, you need to go away. Leave a dying man in peace.”

“Certainly smells like there’s a dying man.”

“Yeah sure. Anyway, how’s Chloe?”

Simon tried to act surprised by this question, however he had been anticipating it for the past 3 days. She was always on his mind, but was he occupying hers? He wasn’t sure.

“She’s fine.”

“Fine? You seemed to be a big fan of hers the other night.”

“What do you mean?”

“While I do tend to get completely smashed Simon, I have the memory of an elephant. You wouldn’t stop going on about her when we were waiting for our chips.”

“She wasn’t there was she?”

“Thankfully no.”

“Great, I won’t seem like such a stalker.”

“You, worrying about what people think about you? Never in my life. “Barry sarcastically remarked.

“Oh shut it. Look, I need you to clear off tonight, she’s coming over.”

“Oooh are you gonna try to impress her with your best Gordon Ramsey impression?”

“Yes, although hopefully with less swearing. Can I count on you to be gone?”

“Yeah of course.”

That was one less thing he had to worry about, striking one entry off list of possibly thousands. Why did he have to invite her to dinner? He just had to let his mouth run away from him, rambling on about how he loved to cook. While it wasn’t a complete lie, he never really cooked for anyone other than himself. He vaguely remembered her saying she liked Italian food, so he tried his best to make up a nice three course meal that wouldn’t be too difficult to make. Bruschetta to start, steak for the main course, then some tiramisu. Some light acoustic playlist on Spotify, a bottle of red wine, it had all the makings for a romantic evening. He put on one of his shirts, one that didn’t really fit him right but would get a few compliments on a night out. Dark jeans and his casual dress shoes would complete the ensemble.

As he was putting the finishing touches to the bruschetta, there was a knock at the door.

“Hey!”

“HI, come in, come in.“

He was worried what he thought of his outfit.

“You look nice!” She said.

This was now the best shirt in the world, he would die in this shirt. This shirt would be known as ‘The greatest nice shirt’.

“Thank you. You look.. amazing.”

This was an understatement, but he didn’t want to seem to eager. She wore a dark navy dress, in perfect contrast with her viciously green eyes. She wore high high-heels, yet still managed to be just a smidgen smaller than him.

After eating their three beautiful courses, they retired to the living room, wine and an acoustic playlist following them. They talked and talked, every subject that came to his mind exhausted and without breath. She didn’t seem to struggle though. What was a once shy girl, barely able to say more than a sentence, was now able to carry a conversation with a rock. As she rattled on about her favourite books, he was mesmerised with her. Maybe there was something here that would last. It’s too early to tell, he thought, but that didn’t stop him contemplating it.

“Can I ask you something?” She asked.

“Of course.” He wasn’t sure what to expect.

“What do you think the Labyrinth is?”

He certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“You mean like the labyrinth in Looking for Alaska?”

“Ok, that was just a test to see if you’ve read it, but yeah.” Her small, cheeky smile emerging again.

“Well, I think it is the emptiness that people feel. We all have this void in us that we try to fill, so we run around the Labyrinth trying to find something to fit the space. Maybe its religion, or friends and family, or maybe something more sinister like alcohol or skinning people. We all are trying to fill this gap, maybe as a distraction from the rest of life’s troubles. “

“That interesting.” She said.

They sat in silence, one that had become more and more comfortable as the evening went on.

“What do you think it is?”

“Pretty similar to Alaska’s interpretation. We spend the majority of our lives trying to escape suffering, escape the labyrinth, and sometimes it becomes too much of a wild goose chase. Then it

overwhelms us, we become lost in its maze, and we can’t find any way out. When that happens, we find the only way out of it. Death.”

Simon was taken aback by this. They were having a perfectly pleasant evening, and she had made it dark and twisted. He liked that. He liked this darkness that was in her. Her mystery was slowly being unravelled, and he liked what he saw.

The wine had run out, but it wasn't the sort of evening to encourage binge drinking. It was the sort of evening that wants you to have fun, but not go overboard, and by the end of it will be there to wrap you up safe in a warm blanket. They had moved to the sofa, lit only by the small lamp on the coffee table. The sofa was there since Barry and Simon moved in, worn out from its previous owners, now reduced to the sleeping arrangements of whoever ended up in the house that night. Or for Barry when he leaves his keys in the front door.

They sat beside each other, in perfect view for the other. As the night had progressed, they were each falling for the other, and did not want to be caught. He looked at her and saw many things. A new person to know, to cherish, a new life to begin. He was giddy at the thought, but didn't show it externally. He tried to be as relaxed as possible, even if he wanted to just grab her and kiss her right then and there. It wouldn't be appropriate, he thought. He was worried that she wouldn't like him, that she didn’t feel the same way. But her eyes told a different story. She was transfixed on him, only moving her gaze from his eyes to his lips. He was always cautious to make the first move, in case it went horribly wrong, but this time, he was sure.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I like you."

"I like you too."

There was an awkward pause, one less comfortable than the others.

"I guess this is where I say some cheesy or smooth line and then kiss you."

She let out a small laugh, not wanting to break her gaze or her smile.

"Well, we could just skip the formalities."

"Yeah, maybe we could."

He awoke to another dull, grey Sunday. Rain was pelting down on the skylight, of which he forgot to pull the blinds over. This was a slightly different Sunday however, because he had a guest. He slept with Chloe, and he wanted to make it perfectly clear that they did not have sex. They did make out though for what seemed like ages at the time. But now she was in bed, with him, on a gloomy afternoon. He lay back down beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist and her arms. He traced his thumb over her bones, a tactile feeling he had come to crave. He moved up her arms, and up to her wrists, his thumb being met by small, raised lines stretching longitudinally over her arm. Scars. Scars from not being loved enough, from being entrenched in darkness. While he loved the dark side of her personality, he knew it would have its costs. While his thumb began to learn their shapes, he let a single tear roll down his cheek. How cruel does the world must be to drive someone, so capable of compassion and warmth, to the cold reaches of harming themselves? He never understood why people did it. Then again, he could count himself one of the lucky ones to have not experienced anything like depression or anxiety. He was curious to know what was going on inside her head. He wanted to go in, have a look around its dusty bookshelves and hidden passages, get lost in its mazes.

By now he was fully awake, and feeling a tad restless. He usually gets up as soon as he wakes, to get some food and some tea, but it felt like a waste of a moment to leave so soon. So, he sat up on his bed, and ran his fingers through her soft, curly hair, maybe a little bit too roughly, causing her to finally wake up.

She flipped around, and looked up to him.

"Did I say you could stop?"

"Well I was only doing it to wake you, and I think I succeeded in my mission."

"Well Houston we have a problem, I'm not fully awake, so get back to your mission."

"I could go back, or I could make us some tea."

"Actually, that would be swell right about now."

He got up from his bed, feeling her eyes following him around the room. He didn't mind being perved on a little bit, he would do the same.

While rooting around for a jumper, he asked

"How do you take it?"

"We're still talking about tea, right?" She said cheekily and with a wink.

"Yes, still about tea." He said, slightly oblivious to the innuendo.

"Milk and one sugar."

He went downstairs to prepare their morning brew. He retrieved two mugs from the cupboard, a plain white one, and his favourite one. A light blue one with thin edges, just about big enough for a digestive. He brought the hot cups of joy to the room and handed her the blue one.

“What the fuck is that?” Simon said, examining Barry’s current attempt at ‘modern fashion’.

“Its five different Hawaiian shirts stitched together.”

“It’s a god damn monstrosity.” Chloe said.

“Before we even get to the why, how the hell did you get five Hawaiian shirts?”

“Primark were trying to get rid of them, not many people buy them in October so I thought I may as well snatch a few up.”

“For good reason. How much?”

“£10 for the lot.”

“Not bad, still a bit much for looking like a berk.”

“Also when did you become such a good seamstress?” Chloe asked.

“Well when you’re broke and have a rip in your jeans to rival the San Andreas Fault, you learn to fend for yourself.”

The three of them sat down at the island in the kitchen and ate the muffins Chloe had made that morning. He loved her being in the house, she was constantly baking or cooking something delicious, the scent of her efforts making the house a much nicer place to exist in. His waistline however, was not as thankful.

“So what are you two love birds up to today?” Barry asked.

Not sure, maybe just go around town for a bit.” Simon replied.

Just as he said that, his phone buzzed with a notification.

“Hey, its been a while. Wanna catch up?” the message read.

He hadn’t spoken to her in over year, not since the breakup. Yet here she was, trying to get into his life again. He knew if Barry found out he would go crazy, maybe rightfully so. But he didn’t want Chloe to find out.

“On second thought, something has come up in work, I’ve got to go for a few hours. You don’t mind staying here, do you?”

“That’s fine, I’ll just read for a bit. I hope it isn’t anything to serious. “

He couldn’t bear to lie to her, but it was a necessary evil.

“No I don’t think so. I’ll see you later.”

He kissed her goodbye, hoping there was slightly more meaning in it than normal.

“What, no kiss for me?” Barry remarked. “You can kiss my ass if you want.”

They met in the café just on the corner, beside the cinema. Now you would think it was a bit hipster, back then it was just trendy. Filled with a mismatch of furniture, it felt cosy but spacious at the same time. A long table lined the front window, accompanied with wooden stools with copper legs. In the corners were smaller tables, next to old bookshelves filled with books no one here has read, but likes to say they’ve read. Large wing-backed armchairs sat beside them, waiting to be occupied by some sorry soul wanting their caffeine fix.

It was where they first met, where they went on their first date, the café where she told him about her cheating on him. It brought back painful memories that were now flooding his brain. Maybe now he could get some closure. He pulled up a stool by the window, and watched the world go by while he waited. They used to sit in the corner, away from prying ears, in their own little alcove away from it all. Here was more open though, he thought there would be less drama sitting here. And besides. If being here was flooding his head with painful memories, sitting in that unchanged armchair would feel like a tsunami.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hi.” He said.

She looked as gorgeous as ever. Her eyes as strikingly blue as they were when they first met. Her perfect smile bringing out her little dimples by her cheeks. She wore a light tan leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, contrasting well with her golden-brown skin. She’d been away somewhere, not that he cared.

“How have you been?” He asked.

“I’ve been alright, ups and downs I guess. You?”

“I’m good”

“Good, that’s good.”

An awkward silence reared its head. It lingered, poisoning the air with tension and hatred. What was she doing here? What was her goal in all this?

“Jessica, what the hell are we doing here?”

“Something has come up, and I need help with it, but I don’t know who else to turn to.”

“What about Sarah, or Kristie? Your two best friends?”

“You don’t understand Simon, after everything came out about us, everyone abandoned me.”

Part of him was glad to hear that. She broke his heart, betrayed him, so she deserved punishment for it. He was still sympathetic. He knew what it was like to be completely alone. Before he met Barry, he was never a sociable person. Sure, he had friends, but no one he really connected with. He knew how horrible that felt.

“So what’s going on? What do you need help with?”

“Things haven’t been working out with John.”

John. The bastard she cheated on me with. He could never make her feel the way that John did, her attraction to him so strong that it overrode her feelings for him. And now she was sitting in front of him, asking for help.

“Why the fuck do you think I would help with that?”

“Because I have no one else to turn to. I know It was a bit far fetched, but Jesus Simon, we were together for 5 years, we’re bound to still care about each other. “

“You threw those 5 years away when you decided I wasn’t good enough for you.”

He was seething, how does she still think he was wrapped around her finger, primed and ready to bend to her will?

“So what the hell do you need?”

“I just need somewhere to stay for a few days, I need to get away from him.”

“Why, Prince charming not so charming is he?”

“Si you don’t understand. “

He used to love the way she said his name, like a calming melody across his ears. Maybe he still loved it.

“So help me understand, then.”

“I should have known from the start. When I talked about you, or our relationship, he would get really angry. Like, tip over tables and scream type of angry. At first I thought it was just a touchy subject, like you should never talk about your exes with who you’re dating. But it didn’t get better. If I didn’t wash something properly, it would set him off. He is just this bomb of rage with the shortest fuse. Two nights ago, we were in his house, and I said a passing remark about something to do with him, just taking the piss you know? He throws another tantrum, then he.. he…”

She was starting to cry now, and as he saw the tears roll down her once rosy cheeks, her past betrayals melted away. She needed him, not in the same capacity as she once did, but that didn’t matter. None of it did.

“Hey its ok, everything is going to be ok.”

He didn’t know that. He didn’t know what was going to happen. But maybe a few lies would help her feel more calm, maybe she needed some certainty in her life.

She rolled up the sleeves on her jacket, revealing the dark bruises across her wrists.

“Jesus Jessica. Did he do anything else to you?”

“No, that’s it.”

Whether he believed her or not, he knew he had to help her.

“We have a spare room. You can stay there for a few days. Just until you get yourself sorted.”

“Si thank you, thank you so much.”

She embraced him, she was wearing the same perfume she was all those years ago. It was almost sickly sweet now, hinting at a future life that was never going to be reality, at a life he thought he had under control. He wasn’t sure how he was going to explain this to Barry and Chloe, but it was something he felt he had to do.

Jessica went back to her hotel room. She could only afford to spend a few nights there, so she packed light, in case things didn’t work out. In the meantime, Simon called Chloe.

“Hey babe, how’s things?”

“Hey, I miss you, when are you coming home?”

“I miss you too. I’ll be home soon. Listen Chloe, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Oh shit, what is it? You’ve bought another new set of knives? Or a new TV?”

“No, nothing like that. I didn’t go into work today, I lied. I met up with my ex from a year ago. Nothing happened, she just needs my help with something. I should have told you in the first place, and I don’t know why I lied. But she needs somewhere to stay for a few days. I tell you the details later. Again, I’m really sorry for lying to you.”

“Hey its ok, its ok. Is she in trouble or something?”

“Abusive boyfriend.”

“Jesus, ok. When is she coming over?”

“Wait, so you’re ok with her staying?”

“Yeah of course I am. She needs your help, I’d expect you to help her.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Yeah you mentioned once or twice, bone head. Now, when is she coming over?”

“Today, she’s just getting her things now.”

“Ok, should I tell Barry?”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll do it. Thanks for being so understanding.”

“Its ok, I’ll see you in a bit then?”

“Yeah, hopefully. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Jessica was now beside him, suitcase in hand, just about catching the end of the conversation.

“Who was that?”

“My girlfriend, you’re going to meet her today.”

“Oh, ok.”

He could tell she was disappointed. Maybe she was hoping this would rekindle their relationship, but the fire had long gone out. He wasn’t planning on giving her any hope; meeting Chloe was part of that plan.

Jessica had been in the house for three days now. She was settling in well to the household, she had taken a few days off work and was helping around the around the house as much as she could. Barry originally objected, but once Simon tells him about her situation, he was fine with it, assured that it was not a permanent thing and that it was only for a few days.

Simon arrived home from another dreary day at work, and was greeted to a sight he hadn’t seen in 2 years. Jessica was plating up a delicious meal for him and the others. He was thrown back to that golden era of their relationship. When their future was intertwined, stretching far across the horizon. He turned when he entered the kitchen and saw his other future, sitting on the sofa, embracing a mug of tea. Even if he missed what he had with Jessica, he loved what he had with Chloe. No stupid arguments, no stupid compromises, she had been with him through thick and thin, he only hoped she was willing to go through more. He worried that he had overstepped some boundaries with letting Jessica stay, but Chloe seemed fine with it. If it was bothering her, she wasn’t saying.

Chloe got up to greet him.

“Hey, how was work?”

“Oh awful as always.”

They exchange a quick kiss, him unsure if they should do that in front of her.

“Do you still work at the same place?” Jessica asked.

“Yeah, still the same job too.”

“Maybe things haven’t changed much.”

He didn’t like what she was hinting at.

“I’m gonna go shower before dinner.” Chloe said, winking as she made her way out of the kitchen.

He gave her a look, saying with his eyes that he’ll be there soon. He left his bag down by the sofa, but when he turned around, he was greeted with Jessica in the way of the door.

“I missed you.”

“Jess, what are you playing at?”

She gets closer, running her fingers along the collar of his shirt.

“Just a quick kiss, just for old times’ sake.”

“For fucks sake Jess, no. We’re done.”

“She doesn’t have to know.”

“I don’t care if she doesn’t know, this is not happening.” He was close to shouting now, but he didn’t want to worry Chloe. She always did that.

“Just get out my way.”

He pushed her away, and made his way upstairs. He walked in to his bedroom, where Chloe was getting ready, wearing just a dressing gown and with her hair tied up in a bun. It was an untameable mass of curls, her hair, yet she always seemed to be in control of it.

“What’s up? You seem annoyed” She said. How could she always tell, he wondered.

“Oh its nothing. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Just as they were about to kiss, three large bangs had rippled their way through the house.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked, unsure of where he expected an answer from.

He ran downstairs, joined by Barry in yet another Hawaiian disaster of a shirt.

“Stop trying to make it happen.” Simon said.

“I am at the forefront of post-modern fashion.”

“Post-modern shit more li-“

Three more bangs echoed from the front door. Jessica came out the kitchen to see what was happening, even if she knew.

“Simon, don’t answer that.”

“If someone is banging on my door I want to know who the hell it is.”

“SI seriously, don’t answer it.”

He was already at the door, and opened it to be greeted by what looked like a watsit jacked up on steroids.

“Where the fuck is she?” The Watsit asked.

“First of all, who the fuck are you?”

“John, get the fuck away from here.

So this was John. The person she left him for. He seemed like quite the catch.

“Look, I think you should leave.”

“And I think you should shut the fuck up.” “Barry, call the police.”

“I’m not leaving here without her!” The Watsit had become the same shade as a prune, clearly frustrated that his demands were not being met.

“Well I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed.”

“Oh fuck off would you?” John said, and as he said it, he swung for Simon’s head, connecting a clean punch across his jaw, knocking him out.

He woke up 4 hours later, with a headache from hell and someone’s hand in his. He gave it a quick squeeze, just to make sure he could still feel anything. He felt a squeeze back. He opened his eyes, wanting to see Chloe by his side, but instead, it was Jessica. He pulled his hand away, revealing a long IV drip trailing from his wrist.

“Where is Chloe?”

“She’s just getting some snacks. She loves to eat, that girl.”

“Jessica, unless you want to tell me what happened, shut the fuck up.”

“I think the others might be more willing to help.”

She got up from the light blue armchair beside his hospital bed, storming off down the corridor. Chloe and Barry came back a few minutes later.

“Oh thank god you’re awake!” Chloe said, running to his side

“That was some punch. “Barry said.

“You say punch. Why do I feel like he had a few other goes?”

“That maybe because he did. He layed a few into your chest I think. I managed to wrestle him to the ground like the good friend I am and return the favour. Luckily the police arrived shortly after that.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t arrest you for some crime you’ve yet to stand trial for.”

“I’m a bit of an idiot, but I’m not a criminal.”

They laughed, while they did he saw Jessica through the little window in the door. She didn’t look happy. Maybe he didn’t react the way she thought he should have. He didn’t care.

Friday night. Simon and Barry had taken themselves off to the pub. Chloe would have joined, but her depression was bad that day, so she stayed in for the night with Jessica. They had become good friends over the course of her stay. They would talk about books and film, something Simon was never really interested in. He was glad she had someone to talk to when he wasn’t there, he worried about her being lonely. Truth be told, he was more worried with her being alone with Jessica.

“So you woke up and she was holding your hand?” Barry asked.

“Yeah, weird, isn’t it?”

“I’ll be honest, she seems crazy.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to think that.”

“Look, I’m all for her staying until she’s back on her feet, but she pulls any of that shit infront of me, I’m gonna have some words to say about it.”

“And I’ll let you say them.”

They drank their weekly stress away.

Chloe had sat down in front of the TV, ready to browse through the Netflix catalogue for the 7th time that day. Her depression had become a bigger issue over the past few weeks, slowly dehabiltating her. She felt like doing nothing at all, even if it was so unfulfilling. The only good part of her day was seeing Simon, but at least she had that.

“Hey, why the long the face?” Jessica asked, sitting down beside Chloe.

“I’m just not feeling the best, that’s all.” Her default excuse.

“Do you often feel like this?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Ah its just all in your head isn’t it? You’ll get over it. Sure, there’s way more people worse off than you.” She said, in a matter-of-fact manner.

Of course its in my head, where else would it be Chloe thought. She didn’t seem to grasp how horrible it can be. Yes, so many people had it worse off than her, that’s what made her feel worse. Here she was, in a lovely home, with central heating and enough food to feed 5000, living with one of her best friends and someone she adored, and who adored her back. How lucky she was. Yet despite all that, here she was, wishing the world would swallow her up, leaving not a trace of her existence. Here she was, unable to do the things she loved, to love the people she loved, over a few misfiring chemicals in her brain. She was beginning to like Jessica, that was slowly eroding.

“Well if only it were that simple. Anything you want to watch?” Desperately trying to move the conversation on.

“Actually, I was thinking we could talk.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Well, something happened in the hospital that I thought you should know about.”

“Why, did Simon say something funny when he woke up?”

“Not exactly.”

“Well what is it then?”

“Well, he opened his eyes a bit, and looked around the room. When he saw me sitting by his side, he said ‘Jess’, I said ‘yeah?’, then he said ‘I love you.’”

Chloe was enraged. She knew she shouldn’t have let her into this house. But maybe this was proving all of her insecurities right. Maybe he didn’t want to be with someone who had no ambition, no drive, no love for life. Maybe when he saw Jessica, he knew what he could have instead. She was on the verge of tears, barely able to contain herself.

“I know it’s hard to hear, I just thought you should know. I don’t want it to be a shock when it happens.”

At that moment, Simon came back from the pub, looking for his wallet.

“Hey, just getting somet- Wait, what’s wrong?”

“You fucking tell me.” Chloe shouted.

“Woah, what the hell is going on?”

“She told me about what happened at the hospital.”

“Right I see. Jessica, could you give us a moment?”

“Sure, I’ll be upstairs.” Winking as she walked by. What did she do now?

“Chloe, what did she tell you?”

“She told me that you said you loved her, not me.” She said, her words struggling to get through the tears.

“Oh god fucking dammit.” He was furious, how could she lie about this? What was she trying to gain?

“Chloe, that did not happen. I woke up, she was holding my hand, I pulled away and told her to fuck off. That’s it. “

“So you do love me?”

“Yes, of course I love you.”

“I just thought you had enough of me, that you were sick of me being a depressive bitch.”

“I can never get enough of you. I love you every bit of you, even if some of it is a bit broken.”

“I love you too.”

They embraced, Chloe sobbing into his chest. He just got that jacket, but it was worth the sacrifice. Now he had to deal with Jessica.

He went upstairs, where she was waiting on his bed.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

“Wait, what?!”

“Jessica, get the fuck out. I don’t care if you end up staying on the streets, just get the ever-living fuck out of here.”

“But, I thought with her out of the picture, we could be together again. Just like the good old times.”

“Really? You think I would drop a girl that I’m in love with, who treats me far better than you ever could, just because you came waltzing back into my life? No, that’s not happening, and it’s about time you realised that. Jesus Jessica, I knew you were mental, I didn’t think you were this bad.”

“Simon, please, just let me stay a few more days, I swear I’ll-“

“Get. The Fuck. Out.”

Simon and Chloe watched from the sofa as she packed her things. Traveling light has its advantages, at least when you get kicked out for being a crazy bitch you can do so in a timely manner. 10 minutes is all it took, before she was out the door. Barry was coming home when he met her on the street.

“You’re off in a hurry.”

“Oh piss off.” She stormed off into the night, as fast her heels would let her.

“Nice to see you again!”

He arrived to a home he had become used to, one that was different, changed for a few days, before settling back to its natural resting point. It was just the three of them.

“So did I miss much while I was gone.”

They looked up at him, then at each other, and smiled.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

5 Pints Part 7

His desk a graveyard of hobnobs and cuppas, he looked across the battlefield and saw the corpses of old and rotten ideas. Scrunched up in an undignified manner, he couldn’t get one idea to stick. He was sick of waiting for one good idea to come along, he was going to force it out, even if it killed him. Sadly, it had pulled a few good punches, so he lay his head down and waited from something else to spring up to the stage of his attention. This article was going to longer than one night, who even cares about locally sourced cappuccino cups anyway? Maybe he was at the wrong magazine, or in the wrong industry all together. He fantasised about giving everything up, moving to a cabin in the woods or the mountains, just living off the land and off the grid. Now was not the time, things were good here.

He went downstairs to the kitchen. Chloe was there, baking some brownies, dancing to Bruno Mars. He was beginning to get better at telling the good days from the bad. During the bad days, eh would feel helpless. He’d try his best to understand what she was going through, but it all seemed so… wrong. The bad days were accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and despair, crushingly low self-esteem, and a hatred of all mankind. He tried hugging her, kissing her, hoping that any affection would help her feel better, but in the end, it was time that was the best healer. These episodes would last a few days, and when they ended, it was like the sun had come back into her life of eternal winter. She had a spring in her step, she hummed and sang, even if she wasn’t any good. It was a sight to see, and he was glad every time he saw it. Today was a good day. He lurked in the door way, her unware of his presence. She did this little dance while sifting the flour, he couldn’t help but let out a giggle. She turned around like a frightened deer.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.”

“How’s the wiritng going?”

“Ehh its not going well, I need a break from it all.”

“I’m sure you figure it out, you always do.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before returning to the task at hand.

“Wanna help?” She asked, while adding what seemed like a disproportionate amount of coco powder.

“Well I could give it a go I guess.”

He never liked baking. Cooking he could do. Throw a few things in a pan, add some seasoning then bam, you’ve got a meal. But baking was more like a science, one wrong measurement or badly followed procedure, and you’ll end up with a pancake when you were looking for a Victoria sponge.

“Just grease the pan, will you?”

“Now that I can do.”

They had been in a relationship for a year now, their anniversary fast approaching. He couldn’t think of what to get her, or what to do for her. He just hoped she felt well enough to feel happy. That’s all he ever wanted now, anything to make her feel safe and content. But right now, he was greasing a pan for her. Maybe that is all she needed, someone to be there, to help any way they could.

Barry came home from the gym, something Rachel had suggested a few weeks prior. He left a bundle of energy, he returned a panting, sweaty mess.

“My… Legs.. Are… Dead” He said in betwwen sharply inhaled breaths.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” Simon asked.

5 pints Part 8

Three years they had lived in that house. Simon didn’t think it was a good idea at the time, eh thought it was another crazy idea from Barry. It was only meant to be a temporary place, until he and Jessica felt like it was the right time to find their own place. That time never came, maybe for the best.

“Is that everything?” Barry asked.

“Yeah I think so, did you remember the box full of dead babies?” Simon replied.

“Yup its right next to the box of dead hookers.”

“As long as they don’t mix that’s fine.”

“You two are fucking gross.” Rebecca said.

“Yeah, you both know you’re meant to keep them refrigerated.” Chloe said.

“Ah I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Simon said.

As Simon loaded the last box, filled with Chloe’s vast amounts of books, he started to feel light headed, his view of the world was being turned on its head.

“Hey, are you alright?” Barry asked. He wasn’t alright. He was passing out.

Over the next few hours he came in and out of consciousness. He was on the ground beside the van, then he was in the ambulance, then in hospital. He didn’t dream, he didn’t hallucinate, it was almost like he was teleporting to these different places. He woke up after what he assumed was a few hours. Chloe was by his side, holding his hand. Not having enough energy to speak, he squeezed it, giving her as much assurance as he would that he was fine.

“Oh thank god you’re awake! I wasn’t sure you would make it.” She said, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She looked tired, like she hadn’t slept in days. Maybe that was right.

“Hey, how long have I been out for?” He asked.

“3 days.” Chloe said.

“What the hell, what happened?”

“We don’t know, you just passed out outside the house, the doctors said you might have a head injury or something, I don’t really remember. “ She said. She sounded frustrated, almost helpless.

“Hey, its alright. “

“Don’t say that, we don’t know yet.”

“Ah Simon, you’re awake. I’m Doctor Shard. “

Shard was a tall man, almost exceedingly tall, bowing his head to get through the relatively small door frames. He wore thin glasses that he pushed up with this middle finger. His hair was black and neatly combed to the side. He had a reassuring voice, he had to in the place he worked in.

“Uhh hi.” Simon said.

“Simon, do you have any memory of getting here?”

“Bits and pieces. Nothing from the past few days. “

“Ok, that’s to be expected. Have you had any serious injuries over the past few months.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“What about the fight with John?” Chloe asked.

“Well yeah, but they didn’t find anything wrong with me when I was here.”

“Ok, interesting. I’m gonna put you through some tests, just to make sure that everything is fine.”

“Ok, thank you Doctor.”

Over the next few hours he was under examination, he had an MRI scan, something he had only seen in TV shows and movies, tt was surreal to actually go though one. He had his memory tested, who was the prime minister, what year was it, who he was, the usual questions that you would ask someone who has a major head injury. He was put back into his room, with Chloe still there, like she was a part of the furniture.

A few more hours had passed, and Doctor Shard returned with the test results.

“Hi Simon. I was wondering if we could talk alone for a second.”

“Look, anything you tell me, she is going to know at some point, so you might as well do it in one go.”

“Ok, fair enough. From your results, it seems like that fight you got into caused a lot more damage than previously thought. I’m going to be blunt about it, you basically have a blood clot in brain. The reason you passed out was because it was stopping almost all of the oxygen in your body to go to your head.”

“Jesus Christ. How come it didn’t show up the last time I was here?”

“We didn’t test for it.”

“Well shit. “

“Is it serious?” Chloe asked.

“Yes, very. We need to operate as soon as possible. There is only one slight problem.”

“Well what is it? It can’t be worse than what you’ve already said.”

“Well it is. The operation is very risky. There’s a 60% chance you will make it.”

“Right, ok.”

He was face to face with his own mortality. The way he saw it, he was going to die anyway from this clot, so why not die trying to get rid of it? He agreed to the surgery. Before he went under anaesthetic, he grabbed his notebook from his bag and wrote a few things down.

“Chloe, I need to talk to you.”

“Ok, what’s up?”

“If I don’t make it, if something goes wrong in the surgery or it just doesn’t work, there is a notebook in my bag that I want you to read. “

“I don’t really want to think about that right now.”

“I understand, just don’t forget about it ok?”

“Ok, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He was curious of last words. What a coincidence it seemed that people would say such brilliant things when death came knocking at the door. While what might have been his last words were not smart, or sarcastic, or wise, at least they meant something to someone. At least he meant something to someone. He was wheeled off to the operating theatre, his life in the hands of some guy with a scalpel. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave Chloe behind. He didn’t want it all to end so abruptly. He thought of every regret he had in his life. Why did he have to let Jessica stay in the house? Why didn’t he just tell her to go to the police about John? Maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation if she didn’t turn up. Maybe he wouldn’t be fearing for his life.

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