#yeah december was a very rough month for me :)))

[somethingsomethingcomic]

deadnamed at my father's funeral

[foxmulderautism]

that post i made on my writeblr about how there's this one story i have out with a mag that i want rejected because i have a story i think suits the mag better.....live cam footage of me receiving the rejection email on my rainy evening walk

[hisunshiine]

—revelations under the moon

🌙 pairing: alpha!namjoon x omega!reader 🌙 au/genre: ABO au, fated mates au, angst, smut 🌙 series rating: M 🌙 wc: 9,468 🌙 series warnings: mentions of an off-screen character death (barely a character tbh), brief male masturbation, thoughts of 'cheating' (if they aren't true mates though..is it?), cursing, retelling of a fake historical fable that includes VERY brief mentions of murder and suicide as the consequence of a tragic hero's hubris explicit sexual content: biting, marking, knotting, semi-rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare 🌙 an: wow, i did not think i would get this out in time, january was a rough month for me, but my grandpa just finished his last lung cancer treatment last week, and im trying to just balance all the stress of real life, but yeah, i think it's getting better. thank you to my beta readers, @downbad4yoongi @moonleeai and @peachiilovesot7 i appreciate all your help, whether you helped in december or in february, it is much appreciated, as always. you're the best hype squad. this is also my first ABO story, so if you hate it don't tell me. LOL 🌙 summary: "When crescent rises, we shall rise as one, Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun." Alpha-heir Namjoon and his long time sweetheart are thought to be the next pair to rule Highscrest, but when Duskfall is attacked, the heir makes a decision that changes the course of not only his and his girlfriend's destiny, but yours as well.

This story is part of the "New Year, New Me Love" @bangtanwritershq gift exchange, written for the lovely @colormepurplex2! Happy Valentine's Day!

🌒🌒🌒 Tuesday - Waxing Gibbous

The loud chatter of the crowd irritates you; your senses are on overdrive after the past two weeks you’ve had. Packing and moving everything you own across the river during the New Moon was unexpected—almost as unexpected of it being a result of a peace treaty signed by the Beta of your old pack after the death of Alpha Tyvrin. 

A Beta jostles you in an attempt to move closer to the raised platform at the far end of the civic center, and you shoot him a quick glare before turning your attention back to the men on stage to avoid any drama. An Omega glaring at a Beta isn’t as bad as if it was an Alpha, but insubordinate enough still. The new tribe members do not know your previous role in Duskfall and have every right to challenge any hierarchical disrespect.

“Quiet, please,” a voice rumbles quietly, but everyone in the room follows the directive. You recognize the Alpha Father, or the father of the Alpha-Heir and most recent Pack Alpha of Highcrest, at the podium. Your irritation drops as your senses can finally focus now that the room is silent. The smells of so many new pack members still suffocates your olfactory system, but it’s bearable now. One scent seems to overpower the rest, a clean forestry smell that seems to dilute the others. “Good evening, and thank you all for coming tonight. We hope you all have been acclimating to the changes these past few weeks. If you have any concerns, please reach out to any of us here.” 

The Alpha Father waves over his son, stepping aside to let him take the lead of the rest of the meeting. Your eyes drink in the lithe movements highlighted by the fit of his suit. “Thank you, Alpha Father. For those of you who are joining us from Duskfall, at the time of the New Moon three months prior, I began the ascension steps. Right before your arrival, I had just finished the last of the three trials. All that remains is the bonding.”

You look around the room to see if anyone else is having the same reaction to his voice as you are—the crowd is transfixed; all attention is on the Alpha Heir Kim Namjoon. He’s young, almost thirty, but commands the stage. It’s not just because he’s handsome, though the blue suit and his dark brown hair help. His aura oozes from afar, your inner wolf screaming at you that this is a man you would follow and it’s your turn to receive a dirty look as you bump into the person in front of you. You turn back to the stage, ears attuning to his baritone as he continues.

“—final ceremony will take place in three days, and as you all know, I will be selecting my mate. I know that there are many newcomers who may be wary of joining the pack with all of these changes happening so soon, but please have faith in us. Highcrest will protect you all, and we will be at full strength as soon as the full moon rises in a week.”

Some applause breaks out, and his confidence soothes the wolf inside you that worries about this treaty. Highcrest sits on the eastern side of the Twin Rivers split, atop the range that leads to Twin Falls. Your previous pack, Duskfall, was integrated into Highcrest two weeks ago after Shadowhide attacked and killed Alpha Tyvrin under the cover of the New Moon, in a successful attempt at taking the land between the two streams. 

The fertile soil and access to the freshwater source has been a source of contention between Duskfall and Shadowhide for decades, and while a group consisting of the Alpha, Beta and his best warriors patrolled your western border, Shadowhide attacked. The Beta and a few others escaped by the grace of the moon, which gave the pack enough warning to prepare and kept Shadowhide at bay now that the act of surprise was gone. With the Alpha slain and the clock ticking before Shadowhide invaded, the Beta had no choice but to reach out to Highcrest for help. A peace treaty was signed, allowing all pack members of Duskfall to join Highcrest in exchange for their commitment to the pack. Any members who were against the treaty were allowed to leave of their own volition and go back to the main city, or find a pack of their choosing, but with the danger of Shadowhide’s takeover imminent, everyone agreed to travel east across the river and up the mountain range to the safety of Highcrest.

“Thank you to all of Duskfall’s former pack for all of your patience with us as we’ve worked to create a space for all of you here in Highcrest. After the ceremony, which is open to all unmated Omegas, everyone from Duskfall will officially be of Highcrest, and those who have not yet finished their commitment rites can do so at that time.”

You watch as Kim Namjoon waves over a tall, slender woman with sleek hair falling down her back. She is the picture of elegance, her walk stalking forward in a hypnotic fashion as she steps beside the Alpha-Heir and speaks to the crowd. You recognize her from the Apothecary you’ve been training in ever since you’ve settled into your new life here.  

“Good evening, everyone. I’m Min Everlight, an Omega of pack Highcrest. I am the head healer for the pack, and if Alpha Namjoon is ever unavailable, please come see me down at the Apothecary. I’ll help in whatever capacity I can in his absence.” Her hand moves almost subconsciously towards his, and they intertwine fingers. “We have committed our lives to this pack, and all of us up here will do our best to provide for Highcrest. Please stop by the apothecary this week if you haven’t yet received the Aconite to remove your Duskfall markings in preparation for your Highcrest one.”

Everlight stays linked to Namjoon as he takes a slight step forward to end the meeting.

“When the crescent rises,” he begins, and the people around you intone their response. 

“We, too, shall rise.”

Walking under the waxing gibbous, you and your Beta roommate, Sana, wave goodbye to one of your elderly neighbors. You’ve been checking on all of the members of your old pack, helping them in any way you can to get them acclimated after work. You go home tired every night, but you want to make sure this merger works.

Sana skips ahead as your new home comes into sight, singing the Alpha-Heir’s praises. “He’s so brilliant, I promise you this is the best thing that could’ve happened to us. And Min Everlight? She’s amazing, right? You’ve been working under her these past couple of weeks, isn’t she effervescent?”

You laugh at her excitement, answering her vaguely as you unlock the door to your shared home. “She knows her stuff, that’s for sure. I’ve learned a few new things already since we’ve been here, but most of it I already knew.” Sana dreamily wanders to her bedroom, ignoring your slight diss and chattering mostly to herself about how wonderful tribe Highcrest is. You plop onto the couch unceremoniously, thoughts on Min Everlight. 

Everlight is effervescent, with an inner glow that makes her the perfect Omega as mate for the Alpha-Heir. You’ve heard from the other women at the Apothecary that she and Namjoon have been dating for years. Longtime sweethearts and—if their little show on stage meant anything—his choice for his mate. This thought makes you feel sick, because ever since you walked away from Duskfall and followed him to Highcrest, your heart has thrummed for him. 

Taking a deep breath that you let out with a sigh, you change your line of thinking before you venture towards a vitriol hatred of your soon-to-be female leader. Min Everlight has been nothing but motherly and nurturing to all of you since your arrival, but the more you see her all over the Alpha-Heir, the harder it is to like her. Not just because of her romantic relationship with Namjoon, either, but that she represents everything that you almost were, and reminds you of everything you lost.  

You scratch at your upper arm over your shirtsleeve, where the Aconite serum you rubbed on earlier dissolves your Duskfall tattoo in preparation for your Highcrest one. The Aconite is diluted and mixed with other herbs to prevent poisoning that would weaken you before the ceremony. Sana disappears into the shared bathroom to shower, and you close your eyes for a moment not meaning to fall asleep as you wait for your turn.

The moon goddess blesses you with dreams of Duskfall past, memories of your destined path as the tribe’s Luna-to-be—the Omega paired to the now fallen Alpha Tyvrin—and you wake to the reality that all you have trained for was for naught.  

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Or, more like you wake with the sudden slam of a door, sitting upright as you squint to keep back the sunlight. 

“Damn, you slept on the couch?” Sana questions, looking cheery and well-rested.

You clear your throat to answer. “Yeah, I guess so. What time is it?”

Sana glances at her watch. “Um, it’s half past eight.”

“Shit, I overslept, and I’m supposed to meet with Everlight again today.” You stand abruptly, and begin organizing all of the large pillows on the couch, laying the blanket just so until you hear Sana laughing at you. You look up at her with a glare. “What?”

“I think you might be in pre-heat. You’ve fluffed that pillow at least three times, and that blanket cannot be folded over the back of the couch any more perfectly unless you’ve got a protractor in the cabinet.”

“There’s no way, it hasn’t been enough time since the last one.” You ignore her as you clamber back onto the couch, tucking your legs up under you seemingly forgetting your plans for the day.

“Your heat is probably gearing up because of some Alpha at the meeting last night. With Tyvrin gone, rest in moonlight, you’re no longer taking the suppressants are you? With everything that’s happened, it makes sense that you’d forget,” she theorizes, “and apparently Highcrest doesn’t have that practice here.”

You can’t believe you’ve forgotten. In Duskfall, you were chosen by Alpha Tyvrin to be his mate, and asked to take suppressants until the ceremony. This was to help to prevent you from having a heat, decreasing your pheromones from triggering any non-bonded Alpha’s into their ruts and endangering you. These past few weeks since the move, you haven’t been taking any suppressants, and you’re sure by now it's run its course and is out of your system.  

“They don’t practice that here?”

“No, weren’t you listening at the meeting? The Alpha-Heir doesn’t choose his mate the same way like in Duskfall. Highcrest has a different ceremony. All unmated Omega’s can be part of it.”

“But isn’t Everlight most likely going to be chosen anyways?”

“I hear there’s blindfolds involved, so maybe instead of sulking, and filling the apartment with your sour scent, you can just join the ceremony and give it a try.”

The news fills your chest with what feels like sunbeams, and you smile at the Beta as you relax into what you’re now realizing is a nest.

“Ah, the room smells so much nicer now. Also—you’re late.”

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday - Waxing Gibbous

Kim Namjoon sits patiently outside the Apothecary, waiting for Everlight to finish for the day. He can sense her inside, her scent a fresh scent of clean linen, just brought down off of the line after soaking in the sun. It’s always been the strongest scent to him, out of all of the women in Highcrest, and he’s sure that the Moon Goddess will prove her to be his mate this weekend when he ascends to his Alpha status. 

Fingers drumming along his clothed knee, he hums to himself as he watches the sunrays filtering through the trees as it sets. The small bell above the door chimes as small groups of girls and women of all ages trickle out from the shop—Everlight hosted a gathering after work for all of the newcomers to review the Highcrest ceremony procedures for women, and they all bow respectfully when they catch sight of him seated in the chair near the door. 

Namjoon can’t help but wonder what else they were working on today, his nose itches to investigate whatever new tonic or serum she’s put together this time—the smell is amazing. Like a warm honey coating his tongue, hints of bourbon with small bursts of brown sugar peaking his interest. He hopes it’s not something inedible, like the Aconite serum, and his curiosity getting the better of him, he stands, unbuttoning his suit jacket and moving to peer through the small glass windows framed in the center of the door. 

Ah, he thinks as he takes in one of the new pack members, Everlight must have let one of the Duskfall women teach a new tonic. Namjoon recognizes you through the dusty glass standing in front of the group, and remembers that his Beta, Seokjin, had pointed you out from afar when you first arrived.

🌑Two Weeks Ago 🌑 Monday - New Moon

“That’s Alpha Tyvrin’s mate, er—was his mate. They hadn’t actually had the ceremony yet, the attack happened before the full moon ceremony could happen, but she was set to be Duskfall’s Luna.” Seokjin’s finger points down the lane from the window of City Hall, connecting to a woman walking towards the villager housing area. Namjoon eyes you warily before posing a series of questions to his Beta.

“Will it be an issue to have two mature Luna’s in a pack? Should we offer to place her with another pack to mate with an Alpha?”

“I don’t know…I haven’t ever heard of something like this happening. Typically the Alpha has already mated the Luna, and since one cannot live without the other—”

“I see.” Namjoon understands why the Moon Goddess would create such a fate for paired leaders. “Had the ceremony already happened, she would be buried next to him. It could be a help, now that we have so many more people, to have two strong healers in the pack. Maybe she could travel on patrols in case of an attack?” He wonders how Everlight would react to finding out that there’s another Luna-trained Omega in the pack, and if this would be a way to spin it to lessen any blowback. 

Seokjin looks thoughtful, eyebrows lifted as he tilts his head and gathers his words carefully. “That could be a good option for the second Luna, so that their training and skills do not go to waste, especially now that our pack has grown…It could also be worth mentioning—with so many new members, it would be a good show of faith if you were to perhaps choose the Duskfall Luna as your mate—”

Namjoon’s growl silences Seokjin momentarily but he presses on when he sees no claws being barred. 

“I’m just saying, nothing helps unite two packs better than having one of their own integrated into the upper levels of the hierarchy. If we want to keep peace and help Duskfall feel loyalty to Highcrest, taking their to-be-Luna as your mate would be the smart move. You and Everlight aren’t fated, so it’s not like our pack would frown upon it under the circumstances—”

Namjoon’s eyes cut like daggers as he stares his Beta down, almost dragon-like in ferocity as he contains his inner beast. “Everlight is my mate, Seokjin. I would never betray her like that.” 

🌓🌓🌓 Wednesday (present) - Waxing Gibbous

Looking at you now, Namjoon is glad to see that you and Everlight seem to have no issues working alongside each other. After reading through previous Alphas’ historical notes and reviewing the history of the packs of the Twin Rivers Valley, he decided that it would be best to keep you around, as he worries his newest constituents would revolt if they thought he had banished you from Highcrest. He spent the first couple of weeks talking to other elder members of Duskfall, and learned that a lot of the pack had come to rely on you as they became acclimated, that you had been going around to visit with them and check-in, and keep them all calm with the changes happening. 

He appreciated that you had taken this on as a duty, especially when you were dealing with the biggest blow of all. Namjoon meant to meet with you to thank you, but the longer he took, the more it felt fake, rehearsed, and like an afterthought instead of what it really was: an Alpha-Heir not yet familiar with his role, and learning about you from afar made him feel like a weird stalker of sorts that he had all this knowledge of you and your skills from others.  

Your skills would be most useful to their pack, and though you were meant to lead the pack by an Alpha’s side, you could still maintain some modicum of that role, just as the second to Everlight. Namjoon is sure this plan will work. He plans to have a meeting with Seokjin and Everlight tonight, that way he can make sure that they will follow his plan without any issues. 

He knows he could just order everyone to follow along, but using his Alpha to force others to do what he wants doesn’t always work out in the long run. The history of the tribal lands and the fact that there were three distinct tribes from the original one, up until Tyvrin’s death, is proof of that. 

It’s much better for a leader to have the consenting loyalty of his pack, instead of forced fealty that brews contempt and derision. Namjoon steps back from the door to allow another person to exit, and once again, the honeyed bourbon seeps through the opening. It’s much stronger this time, urging him to his feet almost against his will. 

He feels his blood thrumming, pounding through his veins like a rushing river. Namjoon checks his forehead, as if feverish, and notices his hand comes back with a sheen of sweat. It’s like he’s gone into pre-rut, which would be crazy. He’s pretty regular when it comes to his ruts lining up with Everlight’s heats, and she’s still not due for a little bit…

Namjoon stumbles backward, taking the three steps back to solid ground quickly as he tugs at the collar of his buttoned shirt. He’s too hot, it’s all too much, he has to do something, move, but he’s in the middle of the town, there are people who look to him to be more restrained than this standing all around…Namjoon trips a little on the gravel beneath his feet as he takes off back towards City Hall and away from Everlight, afraid that if she is due for her heat and his pre-rut was triggered by that, he would mount her right there in front of the last few people in the store and fuck her hard against the counter, not caring if everyone saw the powerful way he drove his cock in and out of her until he filled her with cum and knotted her.

He’s locked himself in his office, blinds closed with his fist wrapped around his thick length as he imagines it: his hands firm on the plump rounds of ass, spreading the cheeks apart as he spits between them, Omega slick lathering his cock with every stroke and the tight walls sucking him back in with every pump out, and when he cums—copious amounts leaking around his large hand—it’s only then that he realizes that it wasn’t the clean linen-scented Everlight he was imagining taking his knot.

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

You’re irritated—more so than you’ve been since your entire life was turned upside down two weeks ago. The Beta that’s always around the Alpha, Seokjin, randomly showed up at your place in the morning saying you were tasked to go on a supply run to the nearest city. It makes sense—Seokjin explained that the Alpha had handpicked everyone in the group to help new pack members meet others and start to learn their ways, and you appreciate it, except for the fact that you don’t want to be far from home right now. 

In fact, because of the upcoming ceremony, Everlight had let all of the women training in the apothecary have the next few days off, as she expected to be chosen and wanted to prepare herself and her home for what was to come. You had mixed feelings when she initially announced this to everyone, because while you enjoy the respite from the constant go-go-go of changes around you, the reason behind it left you feeling miffed. 

All of yesterday, you spent time working at the Apothecary and were even asked by some of the others to show them some tonics and potions that they had never heard of, and while you enjoy teaching others, it’s quite draining to go through the motions while talking through every step you make, and why. The girls quietly scribbled down your words in their notebooks, committing your teachings to paper, which made you feel good about yourself, until reality hit about your future. 

It almost didn’t feel fair that you were so new to the pack and already others were looking to you to train and teach them new things, meanwhile another person is slated to take the position you’ve wanted and trained for your whole life. 

Shaking away your thoughts, you tap back into the moment, finally having arrived in the bustling city a little past mid-day. You hate all of the smells; the odor rising from the sewer grates and scents from the people who jostle you as they rudely push past your group. You hold back the urge to plug your nose, sighing out a weighted exhale as you follow Seokjin through the automatic sliding doors and into a grocer’s market. 

🌔🌔🌔 Thursday - Waxing Gibbous

Back in the forest, a half day’s trip from the city, Kim Namjoon spends his time in his office again, hiding out from his duties by disguising them as last minute studying and planning for the ceremony. 

He couldn’t bring himself to meet with Everlight the previous night, instead calling Seokjin only to discuss the plans for the supply run. He looked over the list of items Everlight needed in the apothecary, and only because the winter months were starting to fade away into spring meant this would be the last expensive trip until winter came again. 

Bees do not make honey in the winter, so why can’t he explain away the coincidence of the honey bourbon smell and the note written in Everlight’s scrawl next to the requested item underlined twice: Honey — we’ve been out for ages!! He doesn’t want to believe that he could be feeling this way for someone other than Everlight, but of two things he knows for sure: he smelled honey, and Everlight is distinctly NOT a honey smell. 

Seeing that on the list had Namjoon rise with a wild idea, to send the other Luna far, far away for the day, to help him clear his mind. In reality, he paces his office, wearing thin the once plush carpet with his worried steps until he can’t take it anymore. Crossing the room, he walks with such a force that no one dares to question where he’s off to. 

He knows where you live, knows that your Beta roommate Sana should be home, and when he knocks on the door with authority, he expects Sana to fling the door open so hastily that the movement sends the mixed scents of the apartment wafting out at him. Instantly, he expects his spine to straighten as his whole body is overwhelmed by the truth—except that never comes. No one is home, as a kind older woman politely points out to him after his third attempt at knocking. 

“Those girls went into town today, it seemed like the Luna had to drag Sana along with her,” she chuckled, clearly a pack member who was fond of the two women. “Did you want me to tell them you stopped by?”

“No! I mean—no need to worry them about my visit, I can talk to them tomorrow, thank you.”

He swiftly departs, deciding to just head home instead of back to the office for some peace.

“Joonie!”

Barely having set foot in his residence, Namjoon is bombarded with the irritating scent of laundry detergent. It’s too pungent; overwhelming in a way that he’s never experienced before. He catches himself before his nose wrinkles and Everlight ascends into his arms. He hugs her back, planting a soft kiss to the side of her head in an endearing manner before she pulls him into the dining room for an early dinner with his parents. 

Namjoon spends the evening engaged in conversation with his parents and Everlight, avoiding talks of the ceremony as best he can—despite his mother and girlfriend's best attempts. His dad eyes him warily—in that cunning way that only another Alpha can—sensing the change in the dynamics within the room. Namjoon is grateful his father remains quiet, simply watching the conversation over the nightcap of barrel-aged Cabernet Sauvignon from their cellar.

Once they call it a night and his parents disappear to their room, Everlight begs Namjoon to stay over, and unable to say no to the woman he’s never said no to before, he relents. He regrets this decision almost immediately, as his hopes that Everlight would help him take his mind off of the one thing that’s been at the forefront of it are crushed.   

“She’s just really good at healing. She knows a lot, like I can’t believe I’m even admitting it, but she knows things that I don’t. And the things I have been able to teach her, she learns it so quickly and easily. I’m actually kind of jealous.”

Namjoon can tell; Everlight’s face is scrunched up in a way that makes her look unattractive, and he doesn’t know what to do or to say to make her feel less insecure. 

“Maybe it’s a good thing she is joining our pack. It’s important to learn and grow continuously.” It’s as diplomatic as he can be at the moment.

“Yes, but she’s trained as a Luna, just like me. It’s a little like she’s trying to take my spot. Yesterday, while I was teaching, the other girls asked her to teach them something I didn’t know, and I just had to stand there and let her take over my lesson. The girls were so focused on her and taking notes, it made me kind of hate her.”

She’s looking at him, her eyes trying to find something within his, but he looks away, reaching for the light next to his bed.

Everlight reaches for him, aligning her body to his as her fingers grip his shoulders so she can position herself atop him.

“That’s why I can’t wait for the ceremony, baby. We can finally be a true, mated pair. Start our forever, with me as your Luna. No room for confusion from the pack about who will bear your pups.” Her eyebrows waggle up and down suggestively as she lowers her lips to his plump ones. “We can practice now if you want, you can scent me, let all the bitches in heat know to back off.” She kisses him again. 

Namjoon kisses her back, but her laundry odor fills his nasal cavity and her words are so off-putting for the role she hopes to take on for the pack. He can feel her hands travel down his ribcage, but nothing about her touch turns him on. Pulling away from the kiss, he catches his breath as he readies his excuse.

“Babe, I think we should wait,” his large hands hold her shoulders firmly before his touch grows softer, palms smoothing up and down her arms in a soothing motion. “The ceremony is so soon, and I want it to be sacred…I know that might sound cheesy and un-Alpha-like but—”

“No, you’re right.” Everlight smiles softly at him, but he can see the hurt in her eyes at being rejected. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed with all of the new pack members and the changes happening, I think I got a little over excited.”

“I love that about you, you know? You’re excitement over things, and how you want to be the best version of yourself for our pack. You’re already an amazing Luna in your own right.”

Everlight excuses herself to the bathroom, and Namjoon clambers off his bed, bare feet leading him towards his cracked bedroom window. In the light of the almost full moon, he can now see the noises that drew his attention moments ago: returning members of his pack walking down the path to their homes. 

There’s no mistaking it now. A warmth blooms from his groin, spreading higher until his neck grows hot from it as his nose and mouth feel thick with the sweetest bourbon honey scent. With you unaware of his gaze as you laugh with Seokjin and Sana, he feels jealousy boiling into his chest.

“Mine.”

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon

You wake up late on Friday morning, your body a little stiff and sore. You feel as if you slept with a heater on, sleep clothes clinging to your body due to the sweat that covers your skin. You try to shake it off, but the feeling doesn’t go away, even after a cold shower.

You’re not surprised you woke up mid afternoon after arriving back at Highcrest near midnight, but you suppose the excitement of what’s to come will keep you awake the rest of the evening. You have to meet the elders for the pre-ceremony rituals at the start of moonrise, so you eat a light snack in the hopes it won’t trouble your stomach too much. 

You know now that Sana is right. Your heat will kick in no later than tomorrow afternoon, with the confirmation of the night sweating and soreness symptoms appearing today, but you worry about what it will mean if you end up not being chosen…you’ll begin cramping and sink into Omega-space, leaving you vulnerable to other higher ranking pack members without a plan prepared to get you through your heat.

At quarter till six, you leave your home with a small bag of items and head to city hall, where Elder Aline waits for you and the other Omegas who planned to join the ceremony to arrive. Elder Aline was old—she worked closely with the Luna three times removed was in power, and lived to prepare both of her successors, and now would be helping to prepare this ceremony. 

You hug your bag to your chest as the last of the group arrives: Everlight. She only looks slightly surprised to see you in the group of seven Omega’s, but she fixes her facial features quickly and offers you a bright smile. 

“I didn’t expect to see you in the group!” Everlight’s tone is friendly enough, but the undercurrent of her words screams out territorial.

“Oh, yeah, my roommate said I should come as an unmated Omega to take part in the ceremony. It’s different from our previous pack’s tradition, and if I hope to carry out my duties and help with future ceremonies, the best way to learn is to be part of it, right?”

Your answer makes sense, perfectly curated to help push away any questions that dig too deep into your motivations, including yourself. Part of you knew that it would be beneficial to you if the worst comes to fruition, but the other part, the more primitive part, knows the real reason is because the wolf inside of you longs for your mate to be Kim Namjoon.  

Elder Aline calls for your attention, her weathered voice a calming stillwater that acts as a soothing balm to the nervous energy in your chest. She speaks to the group, sharing some information about how the rest of the night will play out before she leads your small group towards the outskirts of Highcrest, to the south of a small lake on the edge of the forest. The walk takes a bit of time to navigate the terrain, especially with an Elder leading. 

You allow her moments to pause and rest, clearly fatigued from traipsing through high grasses and uneven dirt, but soon enough you are there, and placed along the treeline, a small clearing awaits you. She makes quick work of explaining the first ritual’s steps, and you allow her voice to lead you through the routine. 

The cleansing ritual itself takes the better part of an hour, as everyone planning to participate strips down to enter the water under the light of the moon which now grazes the top of the trees. A small pouch filled with herbs and petals is handed to each of you to rid you of any lingering outside scents. You lather your skin, taking the time to clean every inch before stepping out to air dry. It’s colder than you expected, but no one wants to risk masking their scent for the ceremony. 

The elder had laid a simple white dress on the shore of the lake near your bag, and once dry, you sheathed your body with it, happy for the fabric to provide some warmth. She pulls a thermos from her bag along with small cups.

“Purified under the new moon,” she intones, handing you a steaming cup of tea. “Red azaleas, to pull out your emotions and attract your true mate.”

You sip it slowly, letting the heat warm your hands. The other women join you after the elder gives them each a cup, and you huddle in a circle, trying to stay warm.

“I think it’s good that we have so many of us for the ceremony,” Everlight speaks, her voice light and airy. “It would be a boring ceremony if I was here by myself.”

Her words were clearly chosen carefully, meant to sound like a compliment to the others for their company, while laying claim to the role not yet given to her by the moon. You bristle, feeling your body heat up. Her comments were starting to annoy you, because a true Luna was not insecure or haughty. She was a healer, a person that others could go to when they needed strength, compassion, or empathy. Everlight seemed to have forgotten this. 

“I think it is great that Highcrest’s tradition is different from ours, it feels more…pure.” You don’t know how else to describe it, but the act of having the alpha choose his mate through this ceremony feels like how it used to be. The elder hears you and her words confirm this. 

“This is the true ceremony. But come now, it is about time for us to begin.”

She leads you around to the north side of the lake. A small copse of trees had blocked the incoming sight, and now that you were closer, you could see the small gathering of pack members standing in a crescent.  

Directing you to step into the open space, she takes your cups from each of you as the seven of you line up with ample space between each other. You look around nervously. The cold you felt earlier when you were wet and naked exiting the lake was gone; you notice that you feel hot. You’ve felt hot since drinking the tea.

The crowd murmurs quietly to one another as you look around for Sana, finally finding her to the right near the top point of the moon shape they were standing in. She waves at you, a smile breaking across her face as she takes you in. 

All at once the noise in the forest dies out. The muttering follows suit, and Elder Aline steps before the crowd. 

“Before the great divide of the tribal lands, the Alpha’s mate was never set in stone until the ceremony was completed. Even if the Alpha had taken many lovers as a young pup, it matters not, for what the moon reveals is the truth. And an Alpha dare not disobey the moon, lest the pack fall weak.”

She then begins her tale of the history of the original tribe they descended from. 

“Many, many moons ago, we once existed as a proud and noble pack led by an Alpha of unmatched strength and wisdom named Lycaon. Under his reign, our pack thrived, united as one for the good of the group. We honored the ancient laws dictated by the phases of the moon, for we knew the moon's power was both a gift and a curse. Before the divide, we could shapeshift along with the phases of the moon.

But Lycaon, with his pride swelling within him like a thunderous storm cloud, began to question the moon's choice for his fated mate. He refused his fated Omega, instead choosing who he wanted, and not who our celestial goddess knew our pack needed. Ignoring the warnings of his most trusted Betas, Lycaon decided that his unborn son would also choose his own mate, not the moon.

At first, this defiance seemed to have no negative impact. But before long, cracks began to appear between pack members. By refusing the moon's guidance, the pack ended up with an Alpha-chosen Luna who was not prepared for her role. The rejected Luna fell melancholy, and took her own life, saying she could not watch the ruin of her pack. Some wolves found themselves unable to control their shifting, and began to attack their own kin in fits of madness. Other pack members grew weak—their bodies unable to withstand the impact of their dual nature.”

The entire crowd was enraptured hearing the tale, as Duskfall members did not know the history, and you are among them in learning the true history of the divide.

“As chaos descended upon our once-proud pack, Lycaon's authority waned as the full moon wanes. Desperate to maintain his grip on the pack, he resorted to ruling the pack with fear instead of respect. But his efforts only fueled the flames of discord, and soon, the pack was torn asunder by fights and betrayal.

In the aftermath of our pack's collapse, three new packs rose from the one, each led by a different wolf claiming to be the one true Alpha. They fought for the lands we stand upon today, with Lycaon’s son, Claudin, taking the hills to found Highcrest, and the other two packs fighting over the lower grounds.  Claudin knew that in order to reclaim the strength and glory we had lost, he must not allow pride or the greed for power seduce him into betraying the moon.”

A low murmur swept through the crowd. You knew your former packmates had the same thoughts running through their mind as you did—could this really be true? Was Alpha Tyvrin’s downfall predestined to happen in order to reunite the original pack? Elder Aline coughs, and you focus back on her.

“And so, this tale of Alpha Lycaon and our pack serves as a tale of caution for generations, a reminder of the dangers of hubris and the importance of respecting the ancient laws that govern our kind. Alpha Claudin rectified the treachery his father had done unto the moon, but we shall never shift again as punishment.”

A quiet settles upon the crowd, and the elder gestures to a group of children you didn’t notice before. They step towards each of you, and she asks you all to kneel. The small child before you has a face like a cherub, full cheeks pulled tight as he shows his teeth to you, eyes disappearing in his delight. 

He bequeaths a length of dark fabric, and his hands move so as to wrap the ends around your face, deftly knotting it behind your head. When you feel him step away, you stand back to full height. Your other senses are heightened, anxiety blossoming at what comes next. You hear footsteps, and sounds of awe and admiration sweep across the crowd stealing your nerves. You freeze in anticipation. 

“Alpha Namjoon has done what we once thought impossible, uniting two tribes where whence was three, and we must continue to follow the moon’s guidance. We must not deceive ourselves. The moon will not lead us wrong. It will not lead him wrong.”

Seconds tick by as you wait, eyes furiously trying to see through the thick material stealing your sight. Seconds turn into minutes and you can hear the faint rustling of bare feet traveling across the grass, the weighted foot falls accompanied by heavy inhales of the still air surrounding the area. You know the Alpha has entered the clearing—can feel a palpable shift in the energy as your body grows hotter by the second. His scent sings to you, and you whine lowly, wanting to follow it.

Again, the crowd responds to something unseen by you, this time it has your inner wolf crouching, tail down and ears back—showing submission. Another whine escapes you, a little louder this time. Your distress must be filling the area around you, you can sense the crowd’s movement, reacting to your scent. You begin to panic, fearing that a distressed scent would push the Alpha to choose another, not the scared, submissive and pathetically whining bitch in heat—

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon 

Namjoon walks up to the clearing surrounded by his closest advisors, some of whom had been absent patrolling the borders and securing their land the past several weeks, and returned in time for the ceremony. As he approaches, the sounds in the forest quickly fade, as if sensing his arrival.

He waits for his signal to enter the clearing, far enough away that he can only smell the crowd of his pack members standing between him and the clearing where the Omegas will stand. Namjoon spent all day in the forest, away from town preparing for the ritual by hunting for game to be used for the meal to feed his mate before the knotting. He also had to follow the same cleansing tradition, bathing under the light of the full moon, drinking the purified new moon tea, and dressing in loose, white linen pants.

He tried his best to clear his mind from the events of the previous evening, and once he was away from the bustle of the town square, he found it easier to convince himself it was just a fluke. After years of being with Everlight, the idea of being fully committed must have made him feel a bit scared, so he latched onto the idea of something new, someone different…you. 

Now, after his mindful afternoon in the forest, he knows he just has to trust the moon will lead him to Everlight, his mate. He knows her scent, knows it like he knows the taste of his mom’s cooking or the sound of his father’s favorite whiskey bottle opening.

As the moon climbs higher, he waits, steadily listening as the crowd quiets and Elder Aline speaks, recounting the tale of the original tribe. As she gets close to finishing her tale, Namjoon is tapped on the shoulder by Beta Taehyung, who motions to the blindfold in his hand. 

“It’s time, Alpha.”

Namjoon nods, taking the blindfold from the younger male and covering his dragon-shaped orbs. He fastens the knot, and he senses when another one of his trusted Betas approaches him. 

“I have the pouch here. Make sure to smell it deeply before—” 

Beta Jungkook is interrupted by Namjoon. “I know, I know. Smell it deeply before I let my inner wolf out to track my mate.” He lifts an open palm so Jungkook can place the small, organza fabric reticule into his hand.

When he hears his name, he knows that’s his signal. He follows the sound of the elder’s voice to enter the clearing.

“Alpha Namjoon has done what we once thought impossible, uniting two tribes where whence was three, and we must continue to follow the moon’s guidance. We must not deceive ourselves. The moon will not lead us wrong. It will not lead him wrong.” 

Raising the small sack to clear his olfactory senses, he inhales a piece of his own clothing, a small handkerchief he kept on him all week. A trick using olfactory habituation to cleanse his palate from the surrounding smells, allowing him to only smell his mate. The crowd shifts, he can hear stilted murmurs about his physique being on display since he was shirtless as he walks past his pack. 

Stepping fully into the clearing, he inhales deeply, and instantly he picks up the laundry scent that he’s so used to being surrounded by. It’s definitely Everlight’s scent—he’s almost positive—but it has an edge to it, a slight tinge that he’s not used to smelling. The longer he stands there, the more the scent morphs into a cloying, headache inducing smell. It’s almost fake, a manufactured scent that doesn’t entice him. 

He steps away from the smell of it, noting an undercurrent of something nice. The crowd reacts, confused at his actions, but he doesn’t care. He knows he has to trust the moon. And that bourbon-honey scent? He wants more of that. Lifting the pouch again to his nose to rid it of the sickly sweet smell, he drops his hand after a few inhalations, allowing the soft honey smell to seep into his pores. It’s alluring, growing more seductive by the moment, but then it takes on the additional bitter scent of anxiety, and Namjoon worries that something is wrong. 

He can feel his inner wolf scratching to get closer, to protect, to save his mate—when he steps closer, the crowd reacts again, so he grabs at his blindfold, tearing it free so that he can get to you. He needs to calm you down, you need to feel safe, to know that your Alpha is here to protect you. He’s closer to you than expected, and the whine you let out calls to him in more ways than one. 

His body feels alight with flames, he can see you’re trembling. His hand moves without him thinking, gripping the blindfold and tugging it up and off your head. 

🌕🌕🌕 Friday - Full Moon 

The light of the moon feels blinding as you blink to adjust your eyes to the sudden return of your sight before it’s eclipsed by the broad body of the Alpha. His breaths are almost frantic, a heavy panting that moves his shoulders with each exhalation as his wild eyes roam your face. His neck gland is hidden by a tied piece of cloth, masking his scent partially and you want to bury your face into him, seeking safety and comfort. 

Your body responds to his proximity almost immediately, a simultaneous calming of the mind’s anxiety as physically you feel engulfed in a blaze, a sweat finally breaking out along your hairline as you’re thrown into full heat. Namjoon’s nostrils flare as he inhales you, his face looking triumphant as he kneels on one knee before you. He reaches for your hands, which tremble as he locks eyes with you. 

“Namjoon, what the hell?!” Everlight stands several omegas down from you, her face free of the blindfold, which now dangles from her fingertips at her side. She doesn’t move for a moment, not until she realizes the Alpha was not responding to her. Her steps don’t falter as she gets closer to you, but your scent grows sour as you take in the murderous look on her face.

Namjoon’s movements are quick and fluid. He stands and postures himself, keeping you protected behind him as he shoves Everlight back with one hand.

“Mine,” he growls. Everlight drops the blindfold, confusion blossoming upon her face. 

Namjoon turns to you, grasping your cheeks gently in his hands. “Mate.”

He throws his head back, and lets out a loud howl to the moon. 

Chaos ensues. The entire field grows loud as some pack members celebrate the ceremony’s success, while others gossip about the outcome. You can hear snippets of the conversations until another voice grows louder, shouting at the Alpha. It’s Everlight, your brain registers, she’s angry, her sour scent wafting in your direction as she screams. 

Some Betas you’ve never seen before hold her back, preventing her from coming closer to you and Namjoon. You back up, jostling into him, and the urge you had earlier grows so strong you don’t hold back. Jumping into his arms, you bury your nose into his neck, and you instantly melt against him, fatigued. Namjoon is startled but holds you tightly, and you can feel when he begins to walk swiftly away from the crowd.

You don’t question it, you just let your Alpha lead you to someplace safe. It takes a few minutes before you arrive at a small cottage, its windows lit with a soft glow. You recognize it for what it is—a mating cabin. Set far enough away from the town square that a newly mated Alpha and Luna can have alone time to get through the next few days. 

Namjoon sets you down, but doesn’t let you go. Opening the door, the first thing you see is a pack of water on the small wooden table. It’s one large room, like a studio with an open concept. There’s a small kitchen set up to the left, and straight ahead is a large bed. The sheets are clean and welcoming, and you can feel your body beginning to cramp as your heat kicks in. 

You knew it was coming—the low-grade fever, mild cramping, and more recently, increased slick and pheromone production ever since Namjoon touched you in the clearing. You shuffle, uncomfortable as slick leaks out of you, trailing down your thigh slowly.

You can hear Namjoon inhale sharply, before he’s kicking the door shut and grabbing you firmly. He doesn’t speak. His eyes say everything though, the adoration and lust sparkling in the low light in the room. 

“Alpha.” It’s a statement. It’s a request. 

His lips are on yours, devouring, tasting, suckling as if he can’t get enough of you.

“Honey. You taste like sweet bourbon infused honey…it’s intoxicating.” Namjoon kisses you again, this time his lips trail from yours to your neck. He teases you, teeth nipping at the skin as your thighs rub together seeking pleasure as he pulls sinful mewls from your throat. Your hands grip his upper arms, and you try to tug him towards the bed. You need him. You need his knot. 

“Please, Alpha,” you beg, and he shivers in your hold, aroused by your submissiveness. “Need you.”

Namjoon lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. You grind against him, biting his bottom lip aggressively. You feel so hot—burning up—and he’s the only thing that can cure you from this growing pain. 

Your heat is in full swing, and you can tell it’s triggering your Alpha’s rut. He’s trying to hold back, be gentle and slow, but when you push your leaking core against him, he gives in. His hands fumble with the waistband of his linen pants before his heavy cock springs free, fully erect and searching for your entrance. You move your waist to help the angle of his cock, as one hand holds your hip and the other holds the base of his shaft to align himself. 

When the slight pressure on your slit gives, you thrust forward, forcing him inside you with ease thanks to your copious amounts of slick. You feel full, the head hitting in just the right spot. Attempting to create friction, you try to undulate your hips, but the resulting shockwaves from the tip meeting that sensitive spot causes you to clench around him. 

He freezes, feeling the quickening of your walls and you yelp in surprise when he throws you on the bed. The loss of him inside you feels unfair, but he steps out of his pants and soon crowds your body with his own as he climbs over your body. A firm hand presses into the middle of your upper back, before he grips your hips and pulls them upwards. The dress slides down, revealing your bare backside to him and you feel more than hear the growl he lets out. 

He leans against your body, ripping your dress up until you are able to slide the garment off your arms and throw it to the floor. A smack jolts you forward, but he adjusts you back into place. You feel his thumb drag over your slick covered folds, taunting you. 

“Alpha!” you whine, and he chuckles before realigning his length to your throbbing core. At this angle, he reaches deeper inside of you, and he begins to rock his hips, thrust after thrust inside you. His large hand grips your chin, turning your head to the side. 

“Want to see that pretty face as you cum on my cock, want to hear you cry for me when you take my knot.” His low baritone promises you pleasure beyond your imagination. 

He licks up your spine, kissing and nuzzling into your neck, and you know it's the spot he wants to mark you at. You beg him to do it, but he just shakes his head against your skin. “Not yet, my love.”

He kisses you with every thrust he takes, before sitting up more to pin you down to the bed. His movements grow sharp, hands grabbing at your ass cheeks as he pounds into you. Switching up his movements, you can’t believe he fucks so well when he begins to rotate his hips and slips his thumb into your mouth. You suck on it, drool leaking from your mouth onto the sheets as your legs shake. 

You clench again, involuntarily spasming every few seconds and you know you’re close—you tell him as much. 

“Fuck,” he curses, and you grip the bedsheets as he adjusts his hold on you. His hands move to your hips and he arches your back even more as he speeds up his own movements. They're fluid, your slick making it almost effortless for him to please you, to take you from behind like this until he’s so deep he could feel himself poking through your stomach—

“Take my knot, want you to have my pups, fuck—”he presses his hips flush to your ass, streams of his cum filling you up endlessly as your body wracks with euphoric release. You whine as you feel the intense pressure of his knot filling you before the pain of his marking bite overtakes your senses. 

You feel overwhelmed in a good way, pain giving way to pleasure as the bite seals your mated status and his knot begins to slowly deflate. Once able, Namjoon rolls you over to face him, nuzzling into you as you hold him close. Your heat was sated for the time being, but you knew that soon you would be climbing him once again to meet your needs. 

You wince as his nose grazes your fresh mark and he makes an apologetic face. Standing up from the bed, he grabs a bottle of water for you, twisting the cap off for you and proffering the drink. 

You take a full swallow, quenching the thirst you didn’t realize you had. Heats have a way of making you forget to take care of yourself in that way. The fatigue consumes you, and you drop back down to the bed. Namjoon takes the bottle from you and places it on the side table. His hands massage your calves, working his way along your thighs. His movements could put you to sleep, but you knew as well as he did that this reprieve would not last long. The moon shone through the window casting a faint glowing halo around Namjoon’s head.

He was yours. 

In the moon's tender glow, we're born anew,

The night's canvas echoes our ancient call,

Omegas and Betas, to their knees they fall,

For the Alpha, bound by destiny's fate.

To lead, to fight, to protect, to mate,

In lunar hours, gaze upon the sky,

Let Luna's wisdom be your guiding light,

Her soothing touch to mend wounds that cry.

When crescent rises, we shall rise as one,

Aligned with moonrise, our time has begun.

↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine 2024. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.

[keikikait]

Hi!

I loved Home Movies so I was wondering if you could do another Steve smut. Something where he gets jealous and gets really rough with the reader?

Thanks!

ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴍɪɴᴇ (ꜱᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʜᴀʀʀɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

if you want to read my other steve smut, click here!

pairing: steve harrington x f!reader (au (but still the 80's), but both are early to mid 20's)

word count: 3.3k

summary: you wouldn't actually go out with jason...would you?

warnings: SMUT WARNING 18+!, friends/coworkers to lovers, jason is a shithead, VERY SLIGHT reader x jason, dom!steve, sub!reader, p in v, birth control is not mentioned but is implied (wrap it b4 u tap it gang), use of the word 'slut' once, cunnilingus for a second, nipple play, steve can get kinda rough, SLIGHT orgasm denial, creampie, cum eating mention (?), not proofread

a note: i don't think i slayed with this...

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

It was an abnormally quiet Friday night.

You sit at the counter of Family Video, making paper stars out of a McDonald's straw wrapper, waiting for either a customer or for the clock to strike 10pm so you could finally close. Whichever came first.

Steve walks around the store, sweeping up quite literally nothing, just trying to find a way to kill the last 15 minutes before close. He had already faced the VHS tapes, restocked the candy, and put away the returns. Part of him wishes he just didn’t do it all so quickly.

“Where is everyone?” Steve finally breaks the silence, leaning against the counter, setting the broom against it. “I thought it was Friday night.”

You shrug. “Maybe at the game.”

Steve scoffs, propping himself up on his hands. “Who would pick spending their Friday night watching a basketball game over watching a movie? I mean, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge just came out last month!”

You sigh, folding over the strip of paper, continuing to craft your star. “Maybe they don’t want to watch a horror movie in December.”

Steve groans, dramatically leaning against the counter again. “Save me from this boredom, please, pretty girl. I just want to go home.”

The door opens and the bell dings.

“Hi, welcome to Family Video.” You both say simultaneously. 

You look over the counter, pushing on your elbows to see around the shelf. Jason Carver lazily walks in, hands shoved in his letterman’s jacket pockets as he glances around. You immediately lose interest, sitting back down on the stool. You start to work on your paper star again.

“Hey man, what's up?” Steve greets Jason casually, leaning back against the counter. All things considered, they were friendly with each other. They were old teammates in high school, after all. He glances at the clock - still ten minutes left until closing time. “What happened to the game?”

Jason shrugs nonchalantly as he approaches the counter. “The game ended early and now everyone's heading to the after party.” He pauses, glancing between you and Steve. “You guys coming?”

Steve frowns slightly, looking over at you, still engrossed in your origami project. “Uh, I'm not sure yet. Might head home, actually.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Really? Passing up free beer and babes for a night alone? That's not like you, Steve.”

“Yeah well…” Steve trails off, shrugging. Jason’s gaze shifts to you. He leans on the counter, tapping his hands on it. 

You sigh, sitting up straighter. You hated these stupid fucking barstools. “I’m not going either, Jason.”

Steve’s eyebrows raise as he leans closer. “Oh yeah? Got plans tonight, then?” His tone was curious, but there was something else there…jealousy perhaps?

No. Of course not.

You shake your head. “Nope, just not feeling up for it. I’m tired.” You look back down at the straw wrapper, continuing to fold it. You were almost done.

Jason scoffs, tapping the table. “Well, that’s shitty. The hottest girl in our entire college is sitting my party out. What’s the world coming to?” Your nose scrunches slightly. You already didn’t like Jason, but the way he was talking about you was leaving a sour, vinegary taste in your mouth.

You sigh, rolling your shoulders. “It’s not my scene, Jason. You know that.”

Jason stares at you for a moment, taking you in. He wasn’t admiring you, he was looking at you hungrily. “Come on, sweetheart. Not even for me?”

“Not even for you,” You say. “Parties just aren’t my thing.”

Steve frowns at Jason's comment, crossing his arms. "Dude, come on. Don't be a creep." He glanced over at you, trying to convey sympathy through his expression.

Jason laughs, waving a hand dismissively. “What? I'm just inviting her. No need to get all defensive.” He turns back to you, smirking. “You know, if you change your mind, you're always welcome at my place.”

“I appreciate the offer,” you reply dryly. “But I think I'm good.” You finish folding the straw wrapper into a tiny star and set it aside, trying to find something else to do. Anything to avoid looking at him.

Jason turns his attention back to Steve momentarily. “You know, Nancy’s gonna be there.”

That causes Steve to tense up slightly, his jaw clenching. “She is?”

“Yeah, man.” Jason says. “Heard she and Byers are taking a break. This is your shot, man.”

Steve clears his throat, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, I guess I might swing by for a bit then. Do you think I could convince her to get back with me?”

“Yeah, dude, totally.” Jason says, picking up the star you made. He rolls it between his fingers. “She’ll be all over you before midnight. You know, I heard she still wears underwear with the days of the week on them.”

Steve chuckles, standing up from the counter. “She wasn’t when she was dating me.”

Something in your stomach twists at the idea of Steve getting back with Nancy. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Nancy, you did, you just thought they were over. You thought that you and Steve were starting to feel something for each other, always sending each other flirty glances during your shifts. He even called you ‘pretty girl’. Apparently you were wrong.

You press your lips together. Might as well shoot your shot with Jason, right?

“You know what, Jason?” You suddenly interject, leaning across the counter. “Maybe I do wanna go.”

Steve looks surprised at your sudden change of heart, raising an eyebrow. “You do? I thought you weren't feeling it…”

Jason grins, tossing the star back onto the counter. “Told ya, Steve. My parties are where it's at.” He leans closer to you, your faces almost touching. His breath smells of menthol cigarettes and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and you dig your fingernails into your palms to stop from gagging. “You wanna come with me, baby?”

Gross. “Yeah, I’d love to.” The lie flows off of your tongue quickly. 

Steve watches the exchange between you two, a mix of confusion and disappointment on his face. He places his hands on the counter. “You want to go with Jason? Of all people? You don’t even like Jason.”

“I’m right here, man—”

“Maybe I like him now.” You cut Jason off. “You don’t know me better than I do.”

Steve scowls, clearly unhappy with the situation unfolding before him. “Whatever, suit yourself.” He straightens up, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just don't say I didn't warn you.”

Jason reaches out, lightly slapping your cheek. “I’ll let you close up, sweet thing. I’ll be outside.”

He leaves as quickly as he arrived, the bell dinging as the door shuts.

You both close the store in silence. You count the register before putting the money in the safe as Steve shuts the door, puts up the barricade, and turns on the alarm. 

You can feel him staring at you as he approaches the counter. You look over at him. “What?”

Steve huffs, running a hand through his hair. “You're really going to go with him? After everything we've...talked about?” He steps closer, his brown eyes intense. “I thought maybe there was something between us. But I guess I was wrong.”

His gaze drops to your lips briefly before meeting yours again. There's a flicker of hurt and confusion in his expression. “Fine. Go have fun with Jason then. See if I care.” He turns away, dismissing you.

“I’m only going with him because you’re going to get back together with Nancy.” You admit, walking around the counter to stand in front of him. You had no reason to lie. “As if I would actually be caught dead with Jason out of my own volition.”

Steve stops in his tracks, turning around to face you fully. His eyes narrow, a hint of anger flashing in their depths. “Excuse me? You think I'd choose Nancy over you?” He takes a step closer, his voice lowering. “Is that what this is about? Jealousy?”

The air between you crackles with tension as Steve looms over you, his presence overwhelming. You can smell the lingering scent of aftershave, mixed with a faint hint of cologne. His jaw clenches, and for a moment, you worry he might lunge at you.

But instead, he reaches out, gripping your chin firmly. His thumb brushes against your lower lip, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Listen to me. If I wanted Nancy, I wouldn't be wasting my time with you.”

“You say that yet you never do anything, Stevie.” You say. “Jason is at least honest that he wants me.”

Steve's grip on your chin tightens slightly, his brow furrowing. “Honest? Is that what you call it?” He releases you abruptly, stepping back and raking a hand through his hair in frustration. “Jason doesn't give a damn about you beyond using you for his own entertainment.”

He sighs. “And as for me, maybe I am hesitant to make a move because I don't want to ruin what we have. We work well together, pretty girl. Let's not screw that up over some misplaced feelings.” Despite his words, you notice the way his gaze lingers on your lips, the slight flush creeping up his neck. Steve is struggling with his own desires, torn between caution and the undeniable attraction between you.

“My feelings aren’t misplaced.” You say. 

Steve's eyes search yours, a mix of longing and uncertainty in their depths. For a long moment, neither of you speaks, the silence heavy with unspoken emotions.

Finally, Steve exhales slowly, dropping his arms to his sides. “Okay, fine. Maybe they're not.” He takes another step closer, until he's mere inches from you. “But what happens after we admit these feelings? We both know our lives are complicated enough without adding romance to the mix.”

He reaches out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch sends shivers down your spine. “Tell me, pretty girl, what do you want from me?”

“All I want is you.” You say softly.

Steve's breath catches at your confession, his hand stilling against your cheek. His eyes darken with desire, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he struggles to maintain control. “You don't know what you're asking for,” he warns, his voice low and rough. But despite his words, he leans in closer, his face mere inches from yours. You can feel the heat radiating off his skin, the intoxicating scent of his cologne enveloping you. Your heart races, anticipation building in the pit of your stomach.

“Last chance to back out,” Steve murmurs, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. “Because once I kiss you, there's no going back.”

You lean up and kiss him. 

As soon as your lips meet, the world seems to fade away, leaving only the electric connection between you and Steve. He groans softly into the kiss, his hands coming up to cradle your face as he deepens the embrace.

Tongues dance, tasting and exploring, the passion between you explosive. Steve pulls you flush against his body, his hardness pressing insistently against your belly. You can feel the heat of his arousal, stoking the flames of your own desire.

Breaking the kiss, Steve rests his forehead against yours, panting heavily. “Fuck,” he whispers hoarsely. “I want you so bad it hurts.” His hands slide down to your hips, squeezing possessively. “But we need to talk about boundaries and expectations. This isn't just a one-night thing for me.”

“Fine by me.” You say breathlessly. 

A slow, wicked grin spreads across Steve's face at your agreement. He captures your mouth in another searing kiss, his tongue delving deeper as he pushes you against the counter. 

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Steve whispers against your lips, nipping at them playfully. “I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” 

With that, he claims your mouth again, kissing you with a fierce intensity that leaves you breathless and aching for more. His hands slip under your shirt, palming your breasts as he teases your nipples into hard peaks through the fabric of your bra. You moan softly, pressing against him as your thighs clench. You reach out to grab his biceps.

Steve grinds his hips against yours, letting you feel how hard he is. “Feel what you do to me, baby?” he purrs, nibbling on your earlobe. “I'm gonna make you feel so good, you won't ever want anyone else.”

His hands slide down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze as he lifts you effortlessly. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, the heat of his erection pressing against your core. He carries you into the manager’s office, shutting the door behind him. He clears a space with one hand before setting you on the edge.

"I want to taste every inch of you," Steve murmurs huskily, trailing kisses along your jawline and down your neck. He tugs at the hem of your shirt impatiently. "Can I take this off? Please?"

You nod eagerly, lifting your arms to allow him to remove your shirt. Your chest heaves with each ragged breath as his hungry gaze roams over you. You bite your lip, watching him with wide, eager eyes.

The sight of your perfect tits encased in lacy lingerie makes Steve's mouth water. “Goddamn, baby,” he breathes reverently, reaching out to trace the swell of your cleavage with a fingertip. “You're fucking gorgeous.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Unable to resist, he dips his head, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the tops of your breasts. His tongue darts out, teasing the sensitive skin above the cups of your bra. “Let me see all of you,” he pleads, looking up at you with smoldering eyes.

His hands find the clasp of your bra behind your back, deftly unfastening it. The garment falls away, revealing your hardened nipples to his appreciative gaze. “Beautiful,” Steve whispers, cupping the weight of your breasts in his palms.

“All yours.” You say breathlessly. 

A low groan rumbles in Steve's chest at your words. Leaning in, he draws one taut nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. His other hand kneads your neglected breast, rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

He lavishes attention on first one breast, then the other, sucking and licking until you're writhing beneath him. Your fingers thread through his hair, holding him to your chest as jolts of pleasure shoot straight to your pussy.

“Stevie…” you whimper, arching into his touch. “Please…”

Releasing your nipple with a wet pop, Steve looks up at you with a devilish smirk. “What do you need, baby? Tell me what you want.” His hand drifts lower, teasing along the waistband of your jeans.

You lift your hips, biting your lip.

Steve chuckles lowly, the sound sending vibrations through your heated skin. He pinches your nipple roughly. “Words, pretty girl.”

“Please eat me out!” You blurt out.

“Mmm, someone's eager,” he purrs, popping the button of your jeans and slowly dragging down the zipper. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of both your jeans and panties, tugging them down your legs in one smooth motion. Tossing them aside, he settles between your parted thighs, his breath ghosting over your slick folds.

“You're so wet already,” Steve marvels, running a finger through your slit. He brings it to his lips, sucking your essence clean with a groan. “Fuck.”

Spreading your thighs wider, he lowers his head, flicking his tongue out to taste you directly from the source. “Oh fuck, yes,” he moans against your pussy.

You let out a sharp gasp, your back arching as his tongue delves into your pussy. Your hands fly to his hair, gripping tightly as you grind against his face.

Steve laps at your dripping pussy like a man starved, his tongue plunging deep to claim every inch of you. He suckles on your throbbing clit, the suction making your vision blur with pleasure.

Your desperate grinding against his face only spurs him on, his hands gripping your hips to hold you in place as he devours you. Moans vibrate against your sensitive flesh, adding to the intense sensations overwhelming your senses.

Suddenly, Steve withdraws, leaving you panting and bereft. He rises to his feet, his eyes blazing with lust as he quickly sheds his clothes. His thick cock springs free, already leaking precum. “Hold onto the desk,” he commands gruffly, positioning himself between your thighs. “I'm gonna fill you up so good, baby.”

He spits on his cock and grips your hips, lining up with your entrance.

You grasp the edge of the desk, bracing yourself as he pushes forward, sheathing himself inside you with a single, powerful thrust. A loud cry tears from your throat at the sudden fullness, your inner walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, you're tight!” Steve grits out, his hips jerking as he buries himself to the hilt within your slick heat. He pauses for a moment, savoring the exquisite sensation of being fully enclosed by your soft pussy. “I know, I know. You’re being so good, letting me stretch you out.”

After a few seconds, he begins to move. He starts out slow, nearly pulling out completely before pushing in all the way, but the feeling of your cunt is too addicting, and he picks up speed. "Take it, pretty girl," he gasps. "This is what you needed, isn't it? To be stretched wide open on my cock?"

As if in response, your pussy clenches even tighter around him, milking him. Your voice is breathless when you speak, “Yes, yes, fuck, I need it!” 

Steve's fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips as he pounds into you mercilessly, the force of his thrusts pushing you further up the desk. 

Leaning over you, he changes the angle of penetration slightly, allowing him to drive even deeper. One hand snakes up to pinch your nipples while the other dips between your legs, finding your swollen clit.

“You like that, don't you slut?” he pants harshly in your ear. “Having your little cunt stuffed full of my cock while I play with these perfect tits?” He rolls your nipple between his fingers roughly as they continue their punishing rhythm.

“Oh god, oh fuck, yes!” You moan loudly, your body trembling. Your pussy clenches harder around his cock, your mind going blank except for the urgent need to cum.

Steve's thrusts become erratic as he chases his own release, his balls drawing up tight against his body. "Gonna fill this greedy cunt up," he rasps, his voice strained with impending climax.

With a final, brutal slam of his hips, Steve buries himself to the root inside you. His cock pulses violently as he unleashes a torrent of hot cum deep within your tight cunt. “Fuuck, baby!”

The intensity of his orgasm triggers your own, your pussy rippling around his cock as waves of ecstasy crash over you. You scream his name like a prayer, arching your back and pressing against him. 

As the afterglow sets in, Steve collapses against you, his softening cock still nestled inside you. He nuzzles into your neck, panting heavily. "That was... fucking amazing, baby." You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him, going nonverbal for a second. He rubs your back gently, pushing your hair out of your eyes before kissing your forehead. “You okay?”

You nod. “Just need a second.”

He holds you closer, his cock now completely soft inside of you. He kisses your forehead again. “I was serious, you know. When I said I didn’t want this to be a one time thing.”

“So was I.”

Steve hums, cupping the back of your head. “Good.”

You sigh, nuzzling him. “Are we still going to Jason’s party?”

“Oh, fuck no.” Steve says, chuckling. “Come over to mine instead.”

You nod. “Okay.” He pulls out of you and your pussy clenches as his cum starts to dribble out. “Ah, shit.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve says, kneeling again. “I’ll clean you up, baby.”

You throw your head back as you feel his tongue on your clit again.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

let me know what you think! <3

[fushiglow]

How's it gloing?

I haven't spent much time on here recently, so I thought I'd check in with you guys! I don't tend to speak about my personal life online, because I don't really want to. However, I've received a few messages that seem easier to answer with a little (long) update.

In short, if you ever want to know how I'm doing, simply check how long it's been since my last update to Over the Threshold! We're currently approaching three months between chapters so ✨ yeah ✨

Work got Very Bad™ to the point that I had to take time off with stress. They hired a consultant to help me with my "ADHD specific struggles", only for the consultant to turn around and say "yeah, the issue isn't with the employee, no one can do all that". wbk.

Employers are at least trying to take appropriate action but the transition period is rough. I fully burnt out, so easing back into my responsibilities without getting frustrated and self-conscious about how little I can now manage each day is hard. Of course, mum has been undergoing cancer treatment throughout all of this too. Though the worst is (hopefully) behind us now, it's been rough, pals!

I'm doing my best with Over the Threshold, but that story is a different beast. I try to follow the inspiration wherever it takes me, because I've never found forcing it to be helpful, but I really want to move forwards with this fic now! I'm determined to make some significant progress once chapter 12 (the biggest problem chapter yet) is out of the way, so wish me luck!

It also hasn't helped that my special interest series came to an end rather unexpectedly during this time. As embarrassing as it feels to admit it, I've spent quite a bit of time grieving the end of JJK. I found my feet in the fandom here on Tumblr, and I'm sad knowing it'll never be the same space now it's over. Without the yapping and theorising and nerding out, I'm not sure how to make use of this place really, but while BlueSky seems promising, I miss Tumblr a lot. I really want to spend more time here again, so I think it's time to dust off the old queue. Reckon I've got stuff from last December sitting in there!

I know I've left a lot of people hanging in this time, and I'm genuinely sorry for that. However, I've been preserving every last drop of energy for the thing that gives me most joy: writing. My fics have brought many wonderful friendships my way, and I'll never stop being grateful for that, but trying to keep on top of all the different things demanding my attention is a huge part of the reason I burnt out.

At the end of the day, I'm here to create first and foremost, and I have to prioritise that for my own wellbeing. I really hope you understand ♥️

Okay, enough of that! Let's end on something less serious! A lot of the content I used to create here is no longer viable or appealing, so aside from unwanted yapping about my own writing, I'm not sure what to post about! Is there anything you'd like to see from me on Tumblr specifically? And last but certainly not least, how are you?

A reminder that my asks are always open — love you guys!

[to-thelakes]

built to fall (5)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; MDNI (minors do not interact) sexual content, fluff, tired reader, tired team, jj being nosy (we love her), smut, fingering, squirting, praise kink, soft!dom luke, self-indulgent smut, needy reader

notes; okay, hello my lovelies, i'm literally just dropping this and then crawling back into my hole because i woke up feeling atrociously tired and worse than i have since i got the flu in december, i will save you from the grim details but safe to say, i'm exhausted, but i gave this a little edit this morning and it's literally just self-indulgent smut and like just a little hint of what is gonna come for these two, we get a very very small smidge of luke worshipping reader hehe. like this is written entirely to my taste so whoops but anyway, i hope you enjoy <3

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

You were the last one to arriveto the jet after you had to stop off at your apartment to get a to-go bag together. You had rushed around like a headless chicken, regretting not being more prepared for this but it served as a good distraction from the wetness between your legs. 

By the time that you had clambered aboard the jet and dropped into the seat beside Emily, you had completely forgotten about the ache that Luke had left behind. Then when Emily began to talk you through the case, any arousal that still lingered was squashed. It was hard to think about how much you needed Luke when you were staring at pictures of mangled corpses. Really, your job was the biggest buzzkill.

Garcia popped up on the scene as the jet took off and the usual routine ensued. You discussed the case and came up with any preliminary theories before Emily told you where all of you needed to go when you landed. And you weren’t entirely sure if it was a curse or a blessing that she sent you and Luke to assess the latest crime scene.

Part of you was glad to spend the time with Luke but the other part of you didn’t want to have to try and keep your composure around him because you knew that would basically be impossible. 

However, you kept your mouth shut and the team then split off to do their own private theorizing and reading of the case file or just take a short nap before you landed. That meant that everyone was sufficiently distracted enough for JJ to quiz you about your late appearance and what Garcia had told her about you being at Luke’s.

“You got something you wanna tell me?” JJ asked, cocking an eyebrow with a wry grin on her face. You looked up from the casefile, furrowing your eyebrows as you ran through every possible scenario that she could be talking about. At first you assumed it was something about the case but then you caught how her eyes drifted to the mark on your neck.

The mark that you had forgotten Luke had left on you.

“I stayed at his place,” You shrugged, looking back down at your casefile. You wanted to talk to JJ about it but also you didn’t want the entire team knowing your business. You and Luke had just spent the weekend together and you hadn’t even discussed what the two of you were. For now, it was simply the two of you enjoying each other’s company in a less than conventional way.

“You just stayed over?” She asked. You glanced around and noticed how Luke’s gaze had lifted. He had clearly caught on to you and JJ’s whispering and you sent him a smile but that just made him lift an eyebrow.

“Yeah, stayed over, met Roxy, we went on a few walks and he cooked for me,” You forced your gaze away from the man in question to look at the blonde in front of you, “His cooking isn’t as bad as you’d think.” You had to bite back the smile that spread across your face. JJ narrowed her eyes before she nodded her head, “And we obviously kissed,” You said, lowering your voice even more. JJ grinned.

“Just kissed?” She asked and you nodded your head.

“We got… interrupted,” You mumbled as you stared down at the case file. JJ couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped her lips.

“What? By Garcia?” She asked, baffled. You nodded your head.

“Duty calls,” You mumbled. JJ bit her lip, hiding her amusement as she glanced over at Luke. He had returned back to his work, reading through the file and pretending like he wasn’t listening to the two of you gossip.

“No wonder he seems so frustrated,” JJ commented. Your head snapped up and you stared at her. She was quick to throw her hands up defensively, “I’m just saying what I see.” You scoffed and looked back down at your case file.

“He at least got a release,” You muttered under your breath but JJ caught it. Her gaze flicked to Luke and then back to you before she felt herself internally cringe at the image that popped into her head. But she didn’t bother to say anything else, it was a conversation for another time when the two of you were alone and not looking at mangled corpses.

-

To put it simply, this case was exhausting. The team had been up for most of the night, investigating and setting up with the local PD. You and Luke had checked out the scene and gathered everything you could about the sadistic killer. But then you had returned back to the station where you settled in for the next few hours. It was a long night and your investigation dragged out long past the rise of the sun.

By the time that night fell again, the team was exhausted and had hit a brick wall in the profile. It was clear that nobody was really feeling their best so Emily ordered everyone to head back to the hotel and get some rest so they could take another crack at the case the next day. You were glad of the break. The exhaustion had made you feel brain-dead and you needed to switch your brain off for a few hours.

You, JJ, Luke and Emily took one of the cars back to the hotel and when the two women had taken off to their rooms, Luke walked you to yours. It was the gentleman thing to do - he had said - which just made you laugh. Both of you were exhausted and you couldn’t help giggle at him. You also knew that he wasn’t just being a gentleman.

He had dropped his bag into your room earlier so you didn’t even bother discussing whether Luke would stay with you. He was going to and he let you tug him inside once you had slipped into the room.

“I feel like my brain is melting out of my skull,” You muttered as you closed the door behind the two of you. Luke walked over to his to-go bag, an amused chuckle escaping his lip at your comment. You watched him from the bedroom door, a smile spreading across your face. He looked so cute. He was clearly just as tired as you were but he was keeping a brave face. You assumed that he was probably used to not sleeping amazing. 

But you wanted him to sleep well tonight. So you wandered over to him and leant up to press a kiss to his lips. He smiled down at you before he pecked your lips again. Then he told you to get ready for bed. So, the two of you switched into your pajamas and you curled up on the bed. Luke was still in the bathroom as you buried your face in the pillow.

Now that you were alone with Luke again, that familiar ache had reappeared between your legs. It was really not the time and you just wanted to sleep but seeing him shirtless and looking so domestic as you brushed your teeth together had you reminded of the weekend. The way he held you, kissed you and his moans and whines and the way that he had used you for his own release. It had all been so much in the best way and the memories were making you want him so bad but you were on a case, you couldn’t do it now. As much as you wanted to.

“Everything okay?” Luke’s voice brought you from your spiraling thoughts. You nodded, sending him a slightly fake smile before you shuffled to the side on the bed so that he could get in beside you. You hadn’t even realized that your thighs were squeezing together to get some sort of relief until you had to shuffle. The ache was worse now. 

Once he was comfortably under the covers, you moved towards him, ignoring the wetness in your panties in favor of snuggling up to him. His arm wrapped around your back, tugging you closer and you settled down, letting your eyes fall closed.

“Luke,” You muttered after a moment. He tilted his head down as you looked up, meeting your gaze, “I didn’t cross a line when we got called in, did I?” You asked softly. You would have asked him earlier but between the case and the rush to get to the jet, you hadn’t really got a chance to check in with him.

“No.” He said firmly. You nodded and rested your forehead back against his chest, “Just wish I could have repaid the favour,” He mumbled. You shrugged,

“You’ll just have to make up for it when we’re home,” You retorted. He let out a ‘mhm’ of agreement but his mind seemed distracted. You glanced up at him, feeling a sudden change in how he was holding onto you, “What’s wrong?” You asked quickly. He looked down at you, a devious look in his eyes.

“I want to fuck you in my own bed but I can still repay the favour in a different way,” He said as he moved his hand to cup your jaw. Your eyes fell closed, the thought of him finally giving you the release that you desperately craved just making you wetter, “And it might help you sleep a little better. I can feel how tense you are, carina,” He whispered in your ear. You bit your lip before you forced your eyes back open, looking at him.

“Please,” You whispered softly. He grinned and then he moved to sit up, his back against the headboard. He tugged you between his legs, your back pressed against his front and your legs hooked over his, spread out for him. Your head moved to rest back but the tension in your shoulders was still present. He leant down and slowly began to kiss against your neck, hoping that the soft kisses would relax you a little.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” He asked, his voice low in your ear. His hands were resting against your thighs, open for you to take. You bit your lip before you shifted your hand to grab his, slipping it under your pajama shirt. His hand engulfed your tit and he gently squeezed it, “Just there?” He asked, teasing a little. You shook your head and took his other hand, slipping it under the waistband of your pajama pants and underwear. His finger nudged your clit as you guided him to your slit and you twitched against him, “Fuck,” He breathed out. Your hand slipped away from him as his fingers began to move of their own accord.

He ran his fingers through your wetness, collecting it between his fingers before he dragged the fingertips up to your clit. He circled the bud and you let out a breathy whine. Your head fell back against him, your shoulders relaxing.

“Good girl,” He whispered into your ear as he began to move his fingers into a steady circle over your clit. It was a little slower than what you usually did to get yourself off but the slow build up of pleasure was tantalizing. He then shifted his hand against your tit to gently pinch your nipple. You let out a shaky breath, eyes falling closed as he moved, “Tell me if it’s too much,” He said after a beat. You nodded your head vehemently.

“It’s good, it’s so good,” You whimpered as he continued his movements on your clit. His head moved down to press a kiss to your hair before he shifted. His hand that had been pinching and playing with your nipple, trailed across your stomach and down to the waistband of your pants.

“I wanna take these off,” He said as he fiddled with the waistband. His movements on your clit hadn’t let up and the build-up was making you squirm. Part of you wanted him to go faster though. You knew that if he just went a little faster, you’d get that release you’d been craving, “Carina,” He whispered against your ear and you groaned softly, tilting your head up. You forced your eyes back open but they were half-lidded as he looked at you.

“Go a little faster, please,” You begged. It quickly became clear to him that you hadn’t comprehended his request which only made him smirk.

“Okay, baby, I can do that.” He was quick to comply, moving his fingers a little faster. You bit your lip, throwing your head back against his chest. Your back arched against him and he grinned against your skin. He was going to have fun with this. You were breathing heavily as your hands fisted into the sheets. 

The pleasure was building in your gut and you could feel that familiar pull of release but you didn’t want this to end. A low moan of his name fell from your lips when he suddenly began to flick across your clit rather than circling it. His free hand shifting from the waistband of your pants up to your neck. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered as he gently squeezed on your neck. You were practically panting as you moved one hand from the sheets up into his hair. You did your best to nod your head, panting out ‘yes, yes, yes’. His lips were resting against the shell of your ear and you felt the breathy chuckle that escaped his lips at your whining and moaning.

“Oh God,” You whined as your back arched further, fingers tugging at the root of his hair. Your walls were contracting around nothing, clit throbbing with each flick of his fingertips.

“You’re being so good for me, baby. Cum for me, carina. Let me give you what you need,” He whispered against your ear as his fingers squeezed around your throat. You were panting, eyes falling closed and his mumbles of praise was the last straw. 

Your thighs were shaking as you threw your head back, moaning his name as you came. The slick gushed out of you and his fingers were quick to dip down to catch it. He smirked against your ear, letting his hand slip from your neck to your stomach. You felt completely boneless and relaxed for the first time in months. It barely took anything for him to have you whining and keening for him and he couldn’t deny that he was high on the power.

As you came down, he pressed soft kisses to the skin of your neck and his hand that had been on your clit settled to rest in your underwear  but away from your sensitive clit. You had sounded so pretty moaning his name and he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to truly repay you for what you’d done for him, “Do you want another one?” He asked softly. His lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You bit your lip, eyes still closed but you did. You really did.

“Please,” You whimpered. He chuckled and slipped his hands up to tug at the waist of your pants and underwear.

“Gotta take this off then,” He said. You nodded and lifted your hips up so that he could slip the fabric down your legs. He didn’t bother stripping them completely and instead let them settle just above your calves. It gave him enough room to work and he was quick to slip one hand to your cunt and the other to your clit.

When he pressed his fingers against it, you shivered. It was still sensitive from your first orgasm but the pleasure from the slow circles he ran around it made the overstimulation easy to ignore. His hand on your cunt ran two fingers through your slit. You were so wet for him and it made slipping a single finger into your weeping hole that much easier.

The feeling of his fingers inside you had you keening but you knew that you could take more than that. It seemed Luke quickly understood that too and slipped a second one inside. His thick fingers filled you up just right and he curled his fingers inside you. Your walls contracted around him and he smirked against your hair.

“Oh, carina, you're desperate for it, aren’t you?” He whispered. You nodded your head, biting your lip as you canted your hips forward slightly. His fingers buried deeper inside you and he smirked, “Want me to move my fingers?” He asked. You nodded, begging him with soft whimpers of ‘please’ and ‘yes’ and he slowly began to move them in and out. His other hand was still circling your clit and the combination of pleasure was making you melt into him. Whimpers and moans falling from your lips as one of your hands buried further into his hair. You were gripping at his curls, canting your hips in time with his thrusts.

“Do you need me to be faster, baby?” He asked. You nodded your head, letting out a needy whimper as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were hooded, blown-wide with lust as he took in just how destroyed you look. Mussy hair, parted lips, half-lidded eyes and the squelching of his fingers as he shoved into you, you looked beautiful.

“I-” You tried to say something but then he changed pace on your clit again. He began to flick it, moving side-to-side and all that came from your lips was a moan of his name. Your head falling back against his shoulder, “I’ll- your fingers-” You wanted to tell him, you wanted to warn him but the quicker he moved, the harder it became to speak. 

Your mind was becoming a hazy mush as he slipped a third finger into you. Your walls tightened around him, thighs shaking as you lifted up slightly. Body pressed against him, “You’re gonna- make me- fuck your fingers will make me squirt,” You finally managed to get out between breathy whines and moans. Luke smirked and it just seemed to make him move faster. His fingers slipped in and out of you quickly. Your walls were squeezing him, hips meeting his every movement as he flicked your clit quicker.

You felt it. The tendril of pleasure that was about to snap and then it did. It was like everything shunted forward and you squirted. His hands were soaked with it and it dripped down to your ass, soaking the bed beneath you as you panted, whined and moaned his name. He was pretty sure he’d never seen such a pretty sight.

“Fuck,” He groaned as he slowly pulled his fingers from you. They were shining with slick and he couldn’t help grinning. He hadn’t expected to make you cum like that but he couldn’t say it wasn’t a beautiful sight.

“Should have- should have warned you,” You mumbled as you fell back against him. Your head was lolling to the side, rested against him as you panted against the skin of his neck. He leant forward and pressed a kiss to his temple, shifting you forward so that you curled up against him. 

Your legs were shaking still, your pussy throbbing as you turned to the side to rest your head against him. His hands were covered in your slick and he was mesmerized by it, “I’m sorry, it’s messy,” You muttered, clearly you were fucked out. Your eyes could barely stay open as you rested your cheek against his chest.

“Don’t apologize,” He suddenly said. His voice was low, stern and serious, “Nothing wrong with messy,” He mumbled before he leant down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He wanted to hold your face and kiss you properly but he needed to clean up his hands first. You also needed to go to the bathroom.

“Thank you,” You muttered. He pressed another kiss to your forehead before he coaxed you out of your post-orgasm bliss. It wasn’t long before he had taken you into the bathroom and while he washed his hands of your slick, you sat on the toilet. You were so tired but you pissed, wiped yourself up and joined him at the sink. You washed and dried your hands before you trudged up to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso.

He wrapped his arms around you, tugging you against him before he connected your lips into a soft kiss. It was just a few pecks before you pulled back, eyes half-closed. The sleepiness was making its presence known and he knew that you both needed to get some sleep. Also, your post-orgasm bliss had only seemed to make you even sleepier. You seemed more relaxed than you had been all day. He felt bad for leaving you so worked up but it wasn’t going to do that again.

With a gentle tug, he took you back into the bedroom and he checked over the bed. There was only a small patch of wetness which he was quick to avoid as he tugged you under the covers. Part of him felt bad for making such a mess and not having the forethought to lay a couple of towels down before he fucked you with his fingers but he had seen you squirt tonight and so, he wasn’t really sorry at all.

When you both got back into the bed, Luke let you curl up on top of him. Your head rested against his peck, the soft thrum of his heart lulling you into serenity.

“Can’t wait to be back home. Wanna see what else you can do,” You mumbled softly against him. He chuckled, his chest vibrating with it as you smiled against his skin. He moved his hand to rest against your back, running patterns along your skin.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” He responded. You hummed back before finally letting yourself succumb to sleep. Within seconds, you were conked out and he just watched you for a little bit. Your chest rose and fell steadily as you snuggled against him in your sleep. It was soothing to have someone after so long. He wanted you to fall asleep against his chest for the rest of his life and he loved you even if he wasn’t ready to tell you that yet.

<3

next chapter

[cherrylng]

Matt Bellamy interview - Muse [ROCKIN'ON (December 2000)]

"If you ask me, our first album was a youthful rock experience at its ultimate limit….. Thanks to that, we've now reached a point where we don't even want to know what happens if we keep going."

So where are these horrid kids headed now that they've buried the ‘first Muse’, who froze the whole of the UK with their unbelievable live performances and insane falsetto? Matthew Bellamy, 22, talks about his next ambition!

Interview: Erica Yamashita / Photography: NAKA

Muse's performance at Akasaka Blitz on October 14th was a speedy one hour and 12 minutes long performance with 18 songs. There was no encore. At the end, Matthew rolled around at the feet of drummer Dominic and started messing around, waving his hands and disappearing to the side of the stage, and then bassist Chris went around destroying the drum kit one by one, so there was no time for an encore. But that was also a happy ending, with Matthew whispering something to the two of them just before. Matt was waving his guitar around a lot, but it was only the first day of the Tokyo show, so I guess he was thinking that he couldn't smash it here. Instead, he ran around the stage.

The show on this day was also very loud from the beginning. To be honest, it was a bit rough. Of course, as usual, their performance was impressive, but they seemed a little slack and were trying to intimidate others with their strength. The two ballads in the middle of the show, sung by Matt, sitting beside Chris with an acoustic guitar, completely changed the wavelength. Interestingly, what followed was a stage full of shadows and storytelling, even though it was a fast and loud world again. There was a relentless pull that is the essence of a Muse show. An unidentifiable energy emanates from Matthew, who is tiny even in Japan. A mass of emotion that you find yourself unable to take your eyes off.

Some have expressed concern about the future evolution of Muse, saying that they are too technically accomplished for their young age, that they are doing stage actions that are like rock conventions, and that they are becoming musically stylised. However, 22-year-old Matt Bellamy is wavering. This was his third visit to Japan in seven months, which inadvertently confirmed his wavering and self-examination. He has all the talent, technique, and brains. He has both desire and confidence. I would like him to soar into the second chapter of Muse, which is as bold as he can.

"With "Showbiz", I wanted to destroy purity and innocence. But on the next album we're going in the opposite direction."

Last night's gig was really intense (laughs). 「Yeah. I admit it. Sometimes we have gigs like that where we just blow it from start to finish. It depends on the mood of the moment.」

What was your mood like yesterday? 「Well, I was a bit confused and restless.」

Oh, why? 「Haha…… I had a lot of interviews and stuff during the day, so by the time I got on stage, a lot of things had built up inside me. Also, I changed the set of songs since yesterday.」

I see. You played four new songs, didn't you? 「I think three, to be precise. The opener was a new one and an old one that we did as a test for this tour.」

That was a very hard opener. Are the songs for the new album almost complete? 「Yeah, almost. The songs themselves are done, we just need to decide what form we want to take with each one. When we go into the studio, we listen back to everything we've played live and change the details and decide on the arrangements and instruments. I think a couple of the songs will be harder than any of the songs on "Showbiz", but overall I think there's a wider range. From the hard stuff to the softer, more subdued songs. There are at least two very mellow, emotional, and quiet songs. There are also about three songs that are not disco or dance music, but are more like early 80s electro-pop, with a lot of synths.」

One of these songs, "Plug in Baby", already has a title and was played yesterday. It sounded hard live, but it's quite a melody-driven number, isn't it? 「Yes, yes. We've already recorded that one. That one, and the one that doesn't have a title but starts with the keyboard that I played yesterday, we've finished recording those two songs. "Plug in Baby" is quite hard on bass and drums, but I think it's very melodic in its recorded form, including the vocals.」

By the way, what's a Plug In Baby? 「Hehehe…… (chuckles to himself). It can mean a few things, but, er, it might be a little strange…… There are various systems, like governments and big companies, and the idea is that the handful of people at the top of those triangles are all connected and have huge control. There are many smaller triangles in the world, and I am at the top of a very small triangle called Muse. And I'm learning what control is. What kind of influence can I have on the band members, on the crew, on the recording site, etc.? How my ideas flow through all these different people. And eventually, when the record comes out and people start talking about it. Some people take the time to raise their children and spread their influence. At the moment I don't want to have kids at all, but instead I can come up with ideas and concepts about the situation and observe how they flow through people and how things change.」

Does that come from the recognition that controlling what and how is a big issue in being in a band? 「Originally someone was trying to exert control over me, telling me to do this or say that. I've learnt little by little how to stand up to that and make the situation happen the way I want it to happen. That's one theme. But there's also a slightly weirder theme in the song "Plug In Baby", which is the theory that the people who run the big governments and royal families and stuff are not actually living things on Earth (laughs). It's not so much that they are actually people, but that forces we don't know about are controlling their thoughts. People at the top are always targeted and manipulated by these mysterious forces. I don't know if it's true or not, and I know it sounds stupid, but it happens sometimes. It's like you're being controlled by an uncontrollable force, or a creature, or something.」

Hmm (laughs). In our last interview, you mentioned that you sang a song in which you put yourself in the position of a young mother. Have you finished that? 「Yes, but it hasn't been recorded yet. It's just guitar and vocals at the moment, and I'm thinking about how to incorporate the band into it. I think I'll use a very quiet, acoustic guitar, and maybe a harp…… or some kind of tuned percussion. I'd like to make a sound that somehow conveys a sense of childhood happiness. But I haven't really settled on a concrete idea yet.」

Do you have any other thematic trends for the new songs? 「There are two or three songs, and the lyrics are about someone who I really love and want to love because of their personality, but at the same time I feel envious and jealous because the ideals they have are so pure…… I've got a song that goes something like this. I think the songs on the next album are very meaningful to me when I sing them now. But I also felt that way about the songs on the first album when I wrote them. So, well, I think it's normal for my feelings about songs to change over time.」

Is that feeling of envy for the ideal of perfection in others something that's been on your mind recently? 「Hehe…… For example, I think there are people who listen to Muse's music and get a sense of pleasure, but there are also people who find it painful and unbearable to listen to. So…… Hmmm (laughs)…… I think that's true. For example, if you didn't know what human sex is, you might think it's very painful to hear the voices and noises, right? But it's not like that, it's just a pure expression of humanity. But I think for some people it's too graphic or unacceptable or something like that…… Um…… Well, that's a matter of course (laughs). Well, what I was trying to say about ideals is that sometimes you meet people who aren't broken at all, right? They believe in certain things even when they grow up. It can be something very simple, like family ties. My parents divorced when I was 13 and I think that's the way it is, but some people don't know what it's like because they haven't been through it themselves. You're talking to someone and their reaction is that they don't know about it and they don't want to know about it. They don't want to hear about it. Well, that can't be helped. I think that if you don't have to see everything through in reality, that would be the best thing. Sometimes it's better to be able to believe in something like a dream.」

When you come into contact with something so pure and innocent, do you admire it and want to be like it? Or can't help wanting to destroy it? 「Oh yes…… I admire them and want to be one too. Probably. I think on the first album I was more of a person who wanted to destroy it (laughs). But on the next album, I'm going in the opposite direction.」

I always feel that way. I feel that you have a duality or two extremes in you, and that you just can't seem to separate the two. 「Yeah. Yeah, that's true. There's a part of me that always sees both sides of things.」

On the one hand, you want to believe in something really pure and good, but on the other hand, your experiences have made you feel that you can't? 「Another example of this ideal is religion. Something unscientific. I really think how nice it would be if, when you die, you could believe that you're going towards something. I wish there was something like that. Maybe there is, I don't know. But I can't believe in anything that isn't true, no matter how I try…… hehe…… But I wish I could. And maybe I can make myself believe that.」

It feels like that frustration and irritation is transforming into the extraordinary heightening of Muse's music. 「(laughs)…… It's like that for everything. It's also about life itself. Like love. I just can't believe that you love someone and you think it's going to last forever. For anyone.」

"Right now I'm choosing to do caricatures of rock. I think I'm still trying to figure out whether that's a creative situation or not."

I was struck by the fact that you said that your ideal gig experience would be one where you could experience imaginary death on stage, the ultimate ecstasy… 「I mean, I'd like to do more of a theatrical performance. But I still don't know how to incorporate that element and put on a good show. One possible way would be to go out on stage and change costumes and scenes to suit the mood of the songs, so that each song is a theatrical experience. Then each song would be closer to an extreme experience, and there would even be an experience of death in it (laughs). I'd like to do some theatrical performances, not just rock geek stuff.」

Even today, is there a certain amount of drama and theatricality in Muse's performances? 「Yes, that's what I'm trying to bring out. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's a mess. Because sometimes you get into one character and you try to change into a different one, but it doesn't work. That's why I take a lot of time to decide on the setlist. Sometimes it determines the success or failure of the stage. Sometimes, depending on how the songs are arranged, I can't change the mood right away.」

How was last night, by the way? 「Hahaha…… Hmmm. Well, I think the middle part went well, very well. But the beginning and the end, I don't know, maybe it was a bit muddled. The middle part was focused and went as intended, and I think I was able to express what I was feeling about the song really well. Especially "Falling Down" and "Unintended".」

Ah, that ballad spot. Actually, something changed there, or rather, it became easier to understand what you were trying to do. After that, when you went into the storm again, it felt like you could see the flow. 「Oh, really? For us, it was totally the same. Especially with "Unintended", there was a feeling that you don't get very often. Most shows we're like, we slowly build up and get intense, then drop off and get intense again, but last night it started out intense, dropped in the middle, and then built up again at the end. So from the beginning I was in a whirlpool where I didn't know what was going on, and when it finally got quiet in the middle, I was able to calm down and grasp the situation, and I was able to return to that state.」

I see. You play with such tremendous energy that sometimes you get sucked into it and can't quite get yourself out of it. 「Hehehe…… Yeah.」

Are you at all worried that what you're doing might be perceived as a caricature of rock? 「……No, I don't think so.」

And what do you think spares you guys from being seen as caricatures? 「That's…… The fact that I know and have allowed myself to look that way, you know. It's something I've wanted to do. Yes, I think I've deliberately gone that way at some gigs and stuff. But I also know that I can always do something completely different. Other than just playing rock music. I can go in any direction at any time. But right now I'm choosing to do something like a caricature of rock. Because I want to try it. I want to know if it's really a creative situation. I think I'm still trying to figure out if it's a good thing or not.」

Destroying instruments, running around the stage, that sort of thing? 「That was probably the last time I did that, last night.」

Hmm. I've heard that before. 「What, did I say that?」

Not exactly, but something similar. 「Pfft. I see. I might have said that (laughs).」

I'm not criticising you, because even though there are some elements of that cliched tactic, Muse's stage is… 「(interrupting) No, but I agree with you. If I was in the audience, I would feel the same way. But everything I do, I do it because I want to. And I don't really think about whether other people will see it and think it's stupid or not. I do it for my own learning, and I'm still in the learning process. I don't think you can really decide if you want to be that person until you've experienced certain things. Sometimes what you see in people's eyes may not be my true nature, sometimes it's just something I'm doing on a trial basis. Sometimes, when I want to do something like this, I apply the idea to my surroundings and experience the situation. And it's something that, as I said before, you can stop at any time and move on to a different situation.」

Do you really want to stop performing like that, even if it wasn't just last night? 「But right now, I'm riding the acceleration of the first album, so it's hard to stop. We've done a tremendous amount of touring up to this point, and no matter how you do it, you have to become a caricature of rock ‘n’ roll. Life on tour has an effect on both the mind and the body. It's difficult until you cut it off somewhere. I'm trying to do that in November, when this tour is over.」

While you've written a whole new set of songs, you've also been re-experiencing the B-sides of your first and previous singles almost every night on stage. How do you feel about those songs that were released over a year ago? 「I still think they're good. But they've developed into something very different from the album version. It's changed so much over the course of the tour that it's become very extreme. But actually, most of the songs can be played just acoustically. Not for the next album, but at some point in the future, I'd like to release an album based on acoustics without using any electronics at all. Really, my main goal is to try different approaches. Our first album is about youthful rock taken to its limits…」

(laughs). 「There's always the temptation to want to know what life is like at least once. And then to experience it yourself, to experience touring this hard, including all the stereotypical aspects of band life. I've done that too, and thanks to that I've reached a point now where I don't want to know what's going to happen if I keep going like this…… ahaha……」

"As musicians of the same generation as our audience, we are shining a light on the extreme emotions of living in these times. I think that means how to accept yourself as you are."

(laughs). If you're done with the extreme rock of your youth, can you give us a preview of the tone of your next album? 「Everyone keeps asking about the new album—」

Everyone wants to know. 「Yeah, I know. No, I mean it's hard to predict the future, because if you try to force it, you get accused of being different in the end.」

What would you like it to be, in your opinion? 「Hmmm…… Music always reflects how I'm feeling at the time when I'm making it. So I'm sure it will be an honest reflection of how I've been feeling over the past year or two. What I care about more than anything else is honesty. I want it to be as honest as possible about what I'm feeling and what I want to say. I can't really say what that's going to be like until the moment the album is finished.」

You said that since you started writing again, you've lost all sense of who you thought you knew completely before, the path you were on, etc. Does that feeling still persist? 「I've recorded two songs and I've calmed down a lot (laughs). I'm still writing songs, but two or three months ago I was working so hard on them that I didn't know what was going to happen. But once we started recording and rehearsing and playing a few shows, I knew where I was going. I was able to explain "Plug in Baby" a little bit, like I did before. But I didn't really know what the hell I was talking about until I recorded it. I also want to do the artwork for the next album myself, and I've got some ideas for that now. So I'm thinking that after this tour, which goes from Japan to Australia to Scandinavia to Dublin, I'm going to go to the countryside for a couple of weeks in November, where I won't see anyone, to chill out a bit and really think about what I want to do and how I want to do it.」

When you say you don't know where you're going when you're writing, does that mean you don't know where you're going in life itself? 「Yes, it can be like that. You know, when you're writing a song, you just let your feelings out, it's a totally subjective state. I don't try to be objective about myself at all. But in general I try to be objective, most of the time. I keep my distance and think about what I'm doing. The only time I don't do that is when I'm writing songs. That's the only time I go inwards and get closer to myself.」

In a way, it's time to allow yourself to do that. 「Yes, yes, that's right. And in the process, you can't explain your own behaviour. In interviews, you probably try to interpret them as someone else's work, to understand the meaning and background, just like you do.」

Hmmm. Does the act of looking at your own work and creative activities objectively in this way help you? 「Yes, I think so. Trying to be objective…… I mean, I don't think it's good for the mind to be in a position like mine and be subjective all the time. This job can turn even good people into bad people.」

From that point of view, I sense a mysterious duality within you, or rather a sense of balance. 「(laughs) Well, I try to be as careful as possible to be like that.」

You look like you're on the verge of jumping off a cliff, but at the same time you seem to have learnt from history and have the good sense not to do anything really reckless. 「……There were some bad moments. I think. I did some things that I'd like to pretend later that they didn't happen. I mean, mistakes, you know. But basically, that wasn't my intention. Because, after all…… I don't want to die, haha…….」

You mentioned last time that you would ideally like to change the producer of the new album with each song, but how is it progressing in reality? 「Yes, that's reality, hahaha. I've finished two songs with Dave Botterill, who worked with Tool and Deus, and we've got two more to record. That's as far as I've got with him. Then we're going into sessions with John Leckie as well. For the first album, Paul Reeve recorded a lot of the demos and Leckie re-recorded them, but this time we're going to do a session with Leckie alone and record five or six songs. If that goes well, we'll probably continue and do the whole rest of the album with him. But Paul Reeve is not much older than us, and he's very innovative in his ideas and approach. Last time, I asked Leckie to join because he was still inexperienced, but I'd like to record a whole album with Paul someday. Maybe I could be a co-producer then.」

You're already used to playing to every size crowd imaginable, from clubs to festivals, but do you have any set goals for future success, such as how big a venue you want to play at? 「Well, for the next album we'd like to take it to a bit bigger level than what we're doing now. At least in Europe/USA we want to aim for 3-4,000 people. Then we'll do a show based on some kind of concept and see how it goes. But after that, I'd like to keep the audience size small again. I'd also like to be a bit more selective with our festival appearances.」

I heard that you played at 48 festivals this summer alone? 「I heard so (laughs). That's what I've been trying to figure out about the future, whether it's going to work out that way or not.

When I saw you guys on stage in Reading and at the gig yesterday, I thought that there is an overwhelmingly Muse generation audience. It's different from both the Radiohead generation and the Oasis generation. So what do you think your music speaks to and gives to these people? 「Yeah…… I think…… I think that artists of that generation, be they musicians, film directors or whatever, are reflecting back to them what they see around them. It's a reflection of the times. That's why I also…… (laughs) I'm shining a light on the ultimate emotions of living in this era. In other words, I think it's about how we accept ourselves as we are.」

Translator's Note: I actually like what I've scanned so far with this issue. I mean, Matt's blue eyes with his fading blue-dyed hair? Cute 💕

Please do support me on my Ko-fi! ☕

[moody4world]

You idk if you taking requests but you know that one award show moment where Nicki Minaj is like “Shoutout yo Donatella for custom making this dress for me and shoutout to Michel B Jordan because he gonna be taking it off me tonight” PLEASE do one where Jack says something along those lines omg 😭😂 I just feel like Jack would say that about the reader

Big shout out

A/N: This is rapper!reader i hope that’s okay. I got this request a while ago but im glad i could finally get to it.

Jack and You have been friends for a couple years now. Both your careers started around the same time and you two became close after being part of the XXL freshman class of 2020. Jack was always very supportive of you and you of him.

He would give you advice on how to deliver your bars and flow while you would give him advice on his lyrics and beats. Things tended to get a bit hectic when albums had to be dropped and tours had to be done but the two of you always made time for each other.

Whether it’s a facetime or a brief text or a voice recording, you guys did not go a day without hearing from one another. Most people believed that the two of you were dating until you made an instagram post revealing your brand new relationship with Polo G.

That was your first mistake. Posting a brand new relationship was never a bright idea and unfortunately you learned that the hard way. You and Polo had a rough start to your relationship due to claims of him talking to other women while we he had you convinced that he was loyal. The two of you would break up and make up constantly and your business would be on gossip pages every few weeks.

On the other hand, Polo always had an issue with Jack being the friend you confided in during your fights with him. It ended up with him dissing Jack in one of his songs which simply lead to another fight between the two of you even though Jack never gave any reaction in return. December 2021 you finally had enough and posted an official announcement that Polo G no longer have or want anything to do with one another. Your comments were flooded with mixed reactions but sadly, most of them were saying how this is just another one of your stupid fights and you would take him back again.

This time you had put your foot down and wanted to start your 2022 peacefully with brand new goals ahead. Throughout all your drama, Jack never treated you any differently. In fact the two of you got even closer after your break up and dropped an album together in March. You had made an instagram post wishing him a happy birthday and it went viral unintentionally.

“The guy she tells you not to worry about.” Was what everyone but mainly men were saying. The thing is, you and Jack had never crossed any lines of friendship. Everything between the two of you has always been strictly platonic except for a couple suggestive jokes here and there but that was normal between friends. Everyone around you and Jack always say that there’s a spark and lots of tension between you two but neither of you ever acted on it.

Around may you noticed Jack started flirting with you a lot more and the lines of friendship began to blur. It wasn’t surprising but at the same time you were never prepared for the things he would say. “Megan asked you to perform at her birthday party right?” “Yeah, i’m excited.” “Isn’t it at a strip club?” “So?” “If I come will you do a dance?” He said it with such a straight face and that only made it more shocking to you. No smug or goofy smile that he usually had when he was joking.

The flirting went on for months and you were definitely flirting back.

September rolls around and it was soon to be the VMAs. You were set to perform your new song with Flo Mili and Jack was opening and co-hosting the show. You were getting ready in your hotel room with the help of your team when your phone started ringing and of course it was Jack.

“I’m getting ready what do you want?” You say while your makeup artist applied your eyeshadow. “Damn. No hello? Let me see you, all I see is the ceiling.” “Jack I can’t move too much i’m getting my makeup done.” You lifted the phone facing you and Jack let out a loud whistle that even startled your make up artist. “WHEW you look so fine my goodness.” He had a giant smile on his face just like a kid on christmas. “That color looks beautiful on you.” You were a giggling and flustered mess. “Thank you. Now show me your snazzy suit Mister Givenchy.” Jack panned the camera down to his all black suit that was snug around his small waist and just right around his wide shoulders. He looked so good you could just eat him up.

“You like what you see huh?” “Yeah I need me some of that.” You flirted back with no hesitation. “You don’t need Givenchy, you need jesus.” “That was disgustingly cringe worthy Jack.” You shook your head at him. “I’m gonna let you finish getting ready. Can’t wait to see your beautiful ass in that dress.” “You just saw me in the dress.” “Yeah but I didn’t see your ass cause you’re sitting on it.” Both of you couldn’t hold back your laughter this time as you hung up the call.

Once you got to the VMA’s black carpet everyone went wild over your dress and how beautiful you looked. The night went very well and you were having a good time. You enjoyed Jack’s opening performance and the two of you were sitting not too far from each other so you would dance to songs together and lip sync to one another.

Jack was nominated for multiple awards and he had already won 2. This next category was his last nomination and it felt as if you were more nervous than him. “And the award goes to…JACK HARLOOOOW” You screamed of excitement as Jack got up, hugged you and dapped dj drama who was sitting next to him up, before going on stage to receive his final award of the night.

“Wow…three in a row that’s a new record.” The crowd cheered loudly as he took a moment to admire the trophy. He let the crowd calm down before yelling into the mic. “BITCH I TOLD YOU” and the crowd went wild all over again. “I just want to thank everyone on my team, my producers, my parents.” “And just before I go I wanna give a big shout out to Givenchy for custom making this suit for me and shout out to y/n cause she’s gonna be taking it off of me tonight. Thank you.”

The stadium was louder than ever. Your hand was covering your open mouth in shock of what Jack had just said live at a world known award show. You could feel your cheeks get super warm as everyone else was cheering at his boldness. You two definitely had a lot to talk about later that night. Once the show was over and you guys left together, not much talking was done. Unless body language counts….if so, more than enough was said.

[marengogo]

Silver Lining - What If #7 : Solstice & Equinox

Listening to This is V - As Friday is Tae Day

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Hello my Dearest Gurls, Bois and Enbies.

It’s been a while since I made an actual post right? Oh and, for the time being, forget about that chapter 2 post, every time I resume writing it, I think about the present state of this fandom and I get so VEXED that I close the file soon after … so yeah, there’s that So, here I am, wanting to share something I thought of yesterday, something completely delulu but quite fun at the same time. 

AS ALWAYS, before we get off on DeluluLand, here is a message from our conductor *clears voice*: “Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, I trust I’m finding everyone well and ready to embark into this new trip. As today’s destination is particularly delulu and rather wishful-thinking-esque, I highly suggest bringing the toughest, biggest and shiniest tin hat in your possession, as well as your best clown clothes, with you when you disembark. Now, alas, the temperature is undesirable cold, the skies are pretty foggy and the waters are pretty rough, nonetheless, I do hope you still enjoy the journey, godspeed, this was your captain”. 

And now that we are all readily equipped let me welcome you without further ado to:

Jikook Travel Vlog Theory by Marengo! 

This isn’t a discussion about what I think the vlog will contain, but more of when I think it/they might be released, or rather, if I were jikook, which I’m obviously not, hence this being a delulu post, I would do it in the way I am about to explain. BUT FIRST, let’s see what knowledge we currently have available:

CONNECTICUT, JEJU, BUSAN, SAPPORO

Now, we know for a fact that they went to Connecticut and Sapporo to film this vlog, as eventually mentioned by JK on Suchwita. In Connecticut no thanks to an asshole we saw them with GoPros and also on their way to, and from, Sapporo, as always “courtesy” of airport warriors. So we have no doubt about those.

Jeju was a rumor that some k-jikookers had began some time last year, which was shutdown as quickly as it came out, but which, none other than our dear Tae confirmed a few months later when he made his Chuseok post on IG. BUT the question is; is the Jeju trip part of the Jikook Travel Vlog?

Last but not least is Busan. Admittedly, Busan is a super filler, guessed and projected destination as we don’t have any sightings of the both of them together last year. In fact, we only have confirmed sighting of JK with his 97 friends, thanks to a local restaurant. YET, yours truly Marengo feels that there might be something worth looking in there🕵🏾‍♀️. Considering that they are both from Busan, city that they don’t seem to despise, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think that they would want to add it to their travel vlog … but would nobody notice them walking around the big city of Busan? I highly doubt it. Yet more shocking things have been known to happen, so who knows right?

But Marengo - you might be wondering - what’s with the title of your post then?! … WELL

You might remember the terms Solstice & Equinox from a very distant Science/Geography lesson in your memory, their definitions are not very complex, but do not worry, it is not in my interest to shove my geeky ass upon you today. What you need to know is that we basically use this particular “occurances” to practically determine the beginning of each season. We have 2 Solstice (Winter and Summer) and 2 Equinox (Spring & Autumn), which usually occur, give or take one day around the same time of the year as follows:

WINTER SOLSTICE - DECEMBER 20/21

SPRING EQUINOX - MARCH 21

SUMMER SOLSTICE - JUNE 20/21

AUTUMN EQUINOX - SEPTEMBER 23

… So, if we follow my VERY DELUSIONAL REASONING we would have 4 DATES (or time periods) and potentially 4 DESTINATIONS.

This year's Spring Equinox has been “taken over” by VHOPE so I don’t think that we would get anything, and even though Jin will be back with us on this year’s Summer Solstice, I doubt he would be promoting right off the bat (like ... I would think he would need time to adjust a bit … BUT WITH BANGTAN WHO KNOWS RIGHT???) … Which is why, in my head, the first VLOG would come out around this year’s Summer Solstice and proceed gradually as follows:

SUMMER SOLSTICE - JUNE 20/21 2024: CONNECTICUT VLOG

This was clearly a summer themed vlog, they were on a yacht, we saw their naked backs, thanks to Jimin, basically it screamed SUMMER

AUTUMN EQUINOX - SEPTEMBER 23 2024: JEJU VLOG ??

This was part of Tae’s Chuseok post, which as we know is a fall korean celebration so yeah, basically it screamed AUTUMN

WINTER SOLSTICE - DECEMBER 20/21 2024: SAPPORO VLOG

For those who don’t know Sapporo is known for it’s snow before the beer 🤡. It holds an annual winter festival which unfortunately the boys were too early for but …, so basically is screamed WINTER

SPRING EQUINOX - MARCH 21 2025: BUSAN VLOG ????

I got nothing for you y’all 😬😬😬, I’ve never been to Busan and once again other than being their birthplace, I couldn’t tell you if there’s anything related to Spring in Busan, but who knows, it might be a … beautiful place to visit in SPRING???

As you can see, the Solstices are rather certain, but the Equinox are hella shaky. YET if you think about it, what would be happening SUMMER SOLSTICE 2025? 

ALL THE TANNIES WOULD BE BACK HOME.

… And there you have it.

Now obviously this is all baseless theories, as we have been left to go off on nothing 🤡 and for all we knows they could drop it ALL TOMORROW 🤡 or even make it a weekly thing in May 2025 before they get back to us 🤡.WHO KNOWS RIGHT? THE POSSIBILITIES STILL REMAIN ENDLESS I’m afraid,

If you ask me however, If they did anything other than what I just rambled on, they’d miss out on making this a very instructive and seasonal thing 🙄😒 … BUT, again, THAT’S JUST ME.

Anyways, time to leave DeluluLand y’all, before the wrong people, or worse it’s inhabitants, find us!

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾

Marengo.

[cosmicpearlz]

last christmas

summary: a small reminder of the last christmas season has you feeling way better this year.

pairing: percy hynes white x reader

day 5 of ficmas! (december 23rd, 2022)

…………………………………………………………………………….

-last year-

if someone had told you that you’d be spending christmas alone in a park, you would have laughed right in their face. but here your were sitting a bench in a park feeling miserable but your outcomes. you were supposed to spent christmas with your boyfriend of six months and his family but once arriving to the house, you found your boyfriend making out with another girl in one of the rooms. the same girl he had told you not to worry about.

to say you were hurt was such an understatement. it wasn’t even just the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you but the fact that his family knew and let you walk into the house without telling or warning you. too embarrassed to go to your family for christmas dinner, you just ran. feet taking you to where you were now.

“rough night?” a voice coming from behind you. you could also hear the shuffling of their shoes on the gravel to the swings.

“that’s one way to put it.”

the stranger sits next to you on one of the other swings and you take one good look at him. long brown hair, green eyes, pretty tall and long legs. you thought he was cute but you quickly shook your head of those thoughts.

“why are you out here alone,” he stares at you for a minute taking in how your eyes were slightly puffy and red before looking ahead at the trees that blew from the wind.

“why are you out here alone?” he chuckled and looked down at his shoes.

“ah a question with a question. technically i’m not alone if i’m sitting with you.” you sighed because he was right.

“i was supposed to spend christmas with my boyfriend well now ex-boyfriend and his family. then i caught him in the act of cheating on me,” your voice was wavering through each word.

you cleared your throat quickly to hide the hurt that was in your voice, “now you gotta tell me why you’re here.”

“first of all, he’s a dick. what kind of coward does that? and secondly, i just got a little overwhelmed at a christmas party my friends threw. i needed a second to be alone i guess.”

“yeah, what’s worse is his family knew he was cheating and made me look even stupider for showing up. but i feel you parties can be overwhelming.”

“my name’s percy.” you turned your head to the boy who was sticking his hand out for you to shake. you sent him a small smile and grasped his hand shaking firmly.

“y/n.”

who knew one person you met at your lowest would change your life for the better.

-

-this year-

“percy we are not getting that as a christmas decoration,” you pushed his hand away from your face with a laugh. he had shown you a ornament of a deer with a santa hat while on a stripper pole.

“babe, c’mon it’s funny!” he puts the ornament in the cart anyways as you guys still looked around the thrift store.

“you are a hot mess love.”

“oh stop it, you love me and i’m your hot mess,” he kisses temple making you grin up at the boy.

“yeah, two very true statements.” you patted his cheek and continued looking at all of trinkets.

“y/n?”

you and percy turned around in sync to find the source of who called your name. your eyes widened when seeing it was in fact your ex boyfriend. you hadn’t seen him all year and of course coming up on the year anniversary of the tragic betrayal, you see him.

like a sixth sense, percy was able to take one glance at you and know you were uncomfortable. meaning this was the dick that broke your heart.

“y/n, i haven’t seen you in forever. how are you?”

“fine.”

“not much of a talker, huh?”

“listen man, how about you leave us the hell alone,” percy steps in front of you like a protective shield.

“who exactly are you?” you knew where this conversation was going and frankly you didn’t wanna see the outcome.

“perc we should just go. it’s not worth it baby.” you tugged on his sleeve to get his attention. he looks down at you and nods. he moves to grab your waist and pulls you into him before walking away. you heard your ex huff and turn the other way. funny how he’s not the one that should be upset.

“you okay sunshine?”

“mhm, thanks for being there with me. i dunno what would’ve happened if you weren’t.”

“always gonna be here for you,” he says while leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

-

the ride home was silent and percy wasn’t sure what to do. you’d never been this quiet before. he helped you place the bags of decorations in the house sighing to himself.

“sweetheart you gotta talk to me. i can’t help you if you don’t talk to me and it’s honestly killing me.”

“there’s nothing wrong.”

“baby, you were my best friend for months before you became my girlfriend. i think i would know when something’s wrong,”he grabs your hands waiting for you to feel comfortable to spill your thoughts.

“it’s just that seeing him was hard. being reminded of that awful time.”

percy picks your head up with one hand, still holding on your hand with his other hand. he cups your cheeks gently, “i know my love but it’s okay. you’re okay and he won’t bother you again.”

“i love you so much percy. what would i do without you.”

“be boring.” you hit his shoulder and playfully rolled your eyes. you began to walk away from him, “hey! you know it’s true.”

“yeah yeah yeah, leave me alone loser.”

[michellemisfit]

Weekly Tag Wednesday Thursday

Thanks for the game @jrooc and thanks for the tag @blue-disco-lights @deedala @energievie @lingy910y @creepkinginc @crestfallercanyon

Name: Mys

What is the most listened to artist in your music app of choice this month?

The Libertines - They’ve just released a new album

What song do you know all the lyrics to?

Erm… most? Well, at least most songs I regularly listen to. Back in the day when we’d still buy CDs I would get a new album and sit in my bedroom listening to it beginning to end, while reading along to the lyrics in the booklet. And oooooh, I would get so furious when bands had a booklet that did not include song lyrics. Wtf is wrong with you?? SO ANGRY! haha

What song do you pretend to know all the lyrics to and sing along to even though you don't?

It’s the End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M. I get to ‘eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn’ and then I’m lost until we hit the chorus lol But it’s such a fun song to pretend to sing along to, and really just making vaguely appropriate noises at the right time, until the chorus kicks in again… and of course we’re all ready to shout LEONARD BERNSTEIN! Hahaha

If you were to be crowned Queen/King/Royalty of listening to a band or artist, who would that be?

That would have to be Dirty Pretty Things. I fell in love with The Libertines just as they were falling apart and a few weeks away from calling it quits for good, so when Carl Barât announced the first tour of his new band Dirty Pretty Things I wasn’t gonna miss out again. So I flew to Ireland and then to England and attended the first 5 gigs of their first tour. And that pretty much set the tone for the next couple of years of my life. I ended up flying to the UK so much and meeting so many people that in the end it only made sense to move to London. Dirty Pretty Things had a tour booked starting two days after my moving day and we were gonna go to a few of the gigs. Then the day before I got on a plane they announced it would be their farewell tour, so we bought tickets for every single gig, which meant that I moved to the UK and then spent all of October, November, and half of December on tour… I didn’t start job hunting and thinking about real life until January lol

So yeah. Them. They’re my boys. As coined by the NME in their ‘sad to see them go’ article… “They were well fit and nice!”

What band/artist surprises you the most on your frequently listened to artists?

I’m ongoingly surprised by how much I managed to trick myself into liking Taylor Swift

Favourite line from a song (or one you have been thinking about lately?

Fame and Fortune by The Libertines

The deal was done, the trade was rough, Doubloons down for a double bluff, Dip your quill in your bleeding heart, Sign there and there and there

Guilty pleasure band or song?

I don’t believe in guilty pleasures.

Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch.

Okay let's talk fandom music:

Fave band or song you've discovered from a Fan Fic?

The Libertines lol My friend really wanted me to get into this band she liked, and I just wasn’t massively into music at the time, so she sent me a Libertines fanfic, and that, as they say, was that. Oh, she knew me very well… hahah

Fave Fanfic Playlist?

Right now I’m REALLY into The Menagerie playlist!

Fave Gallavich song?

Do you listen to music recommended by the writer or an included playlist? 

Almost always, yeah. Though sometimes that can go terribly wrong. When someone’s like OMG THIS SONG!!! and you’re just like ‘eh, I don’t see it’ lol

What song do you think is Gallavich coded?

Well, thanks to @deedala this will never not be Season 5 Gallavich

What’s a bop you want to share with your mutuals today? 

Love the original, but I also love Darren Criss

And this, because I’m dying for the next season of The Bear!!!!

Oooookay… I’m late and I’ve been way too busy, so if you’ve already played and I didn’t see please tag me in yours so I can check it out!! If not, and you’d like to do it, I’m tagging @heymacy @heymrspatel @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @palepinkgoat @vintagelacerosette @crossmydna @captainjowl @mikhailoisbaby @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @loftec @sickness-health-all-that-shit @deathclassic @rutherinahobbit @faejilly (you can skip the Gallavich questions!!! Hahahahah)

[asa-do-your-thing]

Asa's December Rec-list

I've often reblogged fics where I feel like I should have written paragraph reviews but couldn't. That's why I thought I'd gather some of last month's faves <3

Aegon II

Docile - @bucknastysbabe

After seeing the Teaser you've just gone and written down what I felt for s2 aeg :D I've read this like thrice already, it's so good!

Aemond

Tooth-Rotting Bliss - @the-common-cowgirl

I'm usually not a Modern Au girlie but this has just melted me into a puddle.

Sweet Dreams (Are made of this) - @valeskafics

Demmon Daddy? Fuck yeah.

Cregan Stark

Princess - @axelsagewrites

I love the idea of rough Cregan, you've nailed him perfectly :3

Jon Snow

The Lady of Crab Isle - @valeskafics

BOY, i AM UNWELL IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE.

Theon Greyjoy

Your Eyes - @valeskafics

There's not enough Theon fics around and yours is just *mwah* chef's kiss. "I don't beg." "You will."

Ramsay Bolton (not proud of it but hey Iwan Rheon is hot)

"Just Getting Started" - @valeskafics

Bel, I have been binging your stories and I am IN LOVE with your GOT works, especially this. I was just curious when I stubled upon this but in the End you made me feel things for Ramsay that I never thought I could feel.

Michael Gavey

When it Rains it Pours - @aemonddtargaryen

This was strangely sweet and hot at the same time, it felt very real, me likey :D

[theartfulv]

The Making Of My Lockwood & Co. Animatic!

Some people wanted to know about the process on Discord (and I’ve said most of this on there though I think this will be a little more coherent) but I thought maybe the lovely folks on here might be interested too!

This will probably be quite long so bare with (it was over a month of my life 😂)

maybe I’ll be cool and split this into sections

The Beginning/ Scripting Phase

Originally I’d planned for it to focus solely on George and the bone glass, so all of The Whispering Skull, and scripted as such.

(If you want to see the first rendition let me know I’ve still got it all saved 👀)

Generally when I approach lyric based projects I copy down the lyrics, separate them into sections and then write a description of what I want to happen on each line with camera angles and any general cinematography or editing notes.

(I will say though I’ve switched to writing on top of my music file so I can describe everything to the beat and see the timing of each sequence)

So after planning it all out, collecting screenshot references, making numerous Pinterest boards and the thumbnail… I scrapped it.

Peak planning on my end. 🫠 So I scripted the second rendition which was a total of…

Yeah…. That’s it. That is all I scripted and just made sequences up as I went along! Though I did take heavy reference from my original script for the bone glass sequence.

As you can see it was to a completely different section of the song and some of it differs from the final, i.e I didn’t end up using a canted angle in this sequence or any shallow focus.

The Boarding Process

Again I made up sequences as I went! So I started with the beginning for once?! Drawing in Sketchbook Pro and editing the frames together using HitFilm.

(FLASH WARNING)

I planned it so I’d spend half of my time on rough boarding and the other half on finalising it, so 8 seconds per day, which is a lot of work and can range from anywhere between 2hrs and 8hrs… commitment 💪

I did the majority of it during my Christmas break but other than that I just worked on it whenever I wasn’t at college.

So this is what all of my original boards looked like!

Anyway! Onto the first dilemma… The Bone Glass.

After boarding about 20 seconds of the start and one Combe Carey frame (the outside of the hall) I decided to work on the Bone Glass section, originally I’d planned for all the 7 spirits the fly into the frame and merge together to create the bone glass that didn’t happen… but I was inspired by kaleidoscopes and thought that’d be cool too. So I attempted to create that sequence and it was so stressful 😂

Somehow I miraculously figured out how to spin all the different layers in different directions and then inverted each one every second alternating! Then I had to export the file and put it into my actual Animatic which HitFilm did not like at all…

Eventually I managed to export it and that allowed me to zoom out/cut outwards whilst the sections were moving and inverting and then I created the second section with the spiral which HitFilm also did not appreciate so I had to make the file much smaller but I think it worked out anyway!

Then I continued to work out of order…

I did parts of Combe Carey (which is actually quite different from the final version) and then got to work on my favourite sequence!

(Or rest of the sequence) George’s section/ The Bone Glass, and just had this image mixing the original papers taped up in his room with a suspect board, I had visions of Roxanne in Megamind working out Megamind’s next plan/ superhero Titan and the intro of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

I think I’m always very heavily influenced by other media and material and thought it’d be a fun nod to some of my previous hyperfixations.

And I think this is when my plan of ‘do the rough half first then the final half later’ failed… because I finalised all of these frames before even finishing the rest of the roughs 😭

At this point it was about the 27th December and I had about a minute of footage.

After that I realised that I actually had total creative freedom and that’s when I did the first half of the Combe Carey sequence with Annabel’s shadow and the Red Room door!

This then led me to take much more liberty with the rest of the animatic including Annabel hovering over Lucy, The Spiral Section of The Screaming Staircase and The Monks!

Throughout this project I studied so many different pieces of concept art and different storyboards, beats and random animatics to gain insight and inspiration which led me to create a new Pinterest board!!! 🥳

Then…

Disaster struck (except it didn’t but it felt like it)

My PC decided to stop working… then… My GPU broke!?!

Yeah… so no drawing for me!

Oh and all of my files turned blue!!!

Somehow I managed to transfer all of my files onto another family member’s PC who thankfully let me draw on it for the foreseeable/ until it was done (absolute legend) but I’d still lost 3 days working time… which at this point was the equivalent of 24 seconds… and it was not looking good for me and the deadline.

In my head I just had to finish it for the anniversary of the show.

But life went on and so did my college work aka. I had exam week… yeah did I revise for it… (the answer is very little but I actually was only 2 marks of an A so I think that I was pretty iconic) and I also planned all of my coursework (due on the 29th… yikes). But I did it!!!

Then I had a power cut…

But it was okay!!! And I finished it (had to do 14 seconds worth of work on the day of but I finished it!!)! There were a lot of sequences that I’d had to cut or shorten which I’m not too happy about but I finished it!!!

And I guess that’s it really!

As a final thing I thought I’d share a few of my favourite frames :)

That’s All!! If you’d have any questions or thoughts let me know!!!

I LOVE YOU LOCKNATION 😭😭😭

[carsonian]

November '23 SteveTony Fics Recap

This month was really rough. Not all the way through! There was just an undertone of rough over the whole affair with a few days verging into holy-fuck-this-is-rough territory. But! We still ball.

While I technically managed to write five fics this month, they're all 3k> each so I don't know if I'm too happy with the turnout. Total word count comes to only 10,521 words. Yeah :( Really not too happy about that buuuut it's alright! It's over now.

Now bring it back ➡️

"Got So Much Honey, the Bees Envy Me" | 1,891 words | G | 4 Nov

Tony takes a hit in a battle, and comes out of his surgery a little confused. Thankfully, his husband, Steve, is there to talk him through it.

First time I've gone back to it and I saw it's got 165 kudos! Wow! For a fic I really didn't give much thought and was intended to just, as I put in my author's note, "shake my hands loose", that's crazy! How lucky am I, ay?

"Just About Starving Tonight" | 3,080 words | M | 14 Nov

Tony is just trying to get through an evening of courting and dancing when Steve, the new Alpha in town, approaches him for a dance. Tony tries to turn him down, thinking the Alpha’s mistaken him for an Omega, but is taken aback when Steve assures him that Tony’s exactly who we wants to dance with. (A.K.A. a non-traditional A/B/O meet-cute.)

First foray into A/B/O since the series I did way back when, and I enjoyed it! Maybe I should write more.

"The More Things Seem to Change" | 2,123 words | T | 16 Nov

The prince comes to their base in the twilight hours of the night, asking to talk to Steve. Bucky already knows where this is going to lead. (A.K.A. Medieval-cyberpunk fusion AU where Tony is a prince, Steve is a gang leader, and they used to date.) Stony Bingo 2023 Round 2: "Historical"

"The More They Stay the Same" | 1,088 words | G | 21 Nov

Bucky was meant to take Tony back to the station twenty-five minutes back. (A.K.A. Medieval-cyberpunk fusion AU where Tony is a prince, Steve is a gang leader, and they're dating.)

These two drabbles came as a brainworm that just wouldn't leave me alone. Had I the time and energy this month, I could've churned out a 20k> fic but as it is, I think I've scratched the itch with these two ficlets.

"Hyperballad" | 2,339 words | T | 29 Nov

Steve's going through something. Tony tries to talk to him about it. (A.K.A. Established relationship, Depressed!Steve Rogers, Recovering Alcoholic!Tony Stark, and a decent amount of emotional hurt/comfort)

Very special one to me because it's got the shortest title of any fic I've written so far :D

Do check out the fics if you haven't yet had a chance to! I'm sorry that it's maybe not up to my usual 'standard' as far as complexity and duration of plot, characterisation or even just length. It's just not been a very good month for writing, unfortunately. I hope to have one or two decent fics out in December at the least! We'll see. Thank you for being here in the meantime!

[brimbrimbrimbrim]

Forever My Queen (Eddie Munson/F!Reader) Part 4/4

Parts 1/2/3/4

Summary: Eddie and you do this thing every month: booze, weed, and music. It's usually no big deal, even if both of your eyes wander a bit, but tonight is different. Either it's the chilly December air, the weird pentagram cassette, or your daisy dukes that brings all the unresolved sexual tension to a boiling point, but whatever it is, you're eternally grateful 'cause Eddie Munson rocks your fucking world.

Tags: friends to lovers, best friend!reader, eddie munson lives, drug use, drinking, body worship, jealousy, inexperienced!eddie, virgin!reader, choking, fingering, uncircumcised dick, oral m!receiving, oral f!receiving, multiple orgasms, cum swallowing, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, so much babbling praise it's sickening...

The air is an electric thing full of stratospheric doom metal and spent hormones with a tang of cum, sex, and love. You slowly rock backward to feel Eddie Munson groan and hiss into every other kiss until his lips slacken from the friction of your ass across his naked boner. Cool wintery air caresses the wet trails of precum that streak your bottom cheek, proof he was right about getting hard in under ten minutes… and not just hard, but rock fuckin’ hard.

So much for ‘one and done’ like all the other girls say.

“Did you… before—say you wanted to—I mean, are we…” Eddie stares candidly with loving longing in his polished browns, “Do you want to… you know…”

“Fuck each others brain’s out?” You smirk.

Eddie’s sweet smile thins, and his brows furrow, “That isn’t all this is to you, right?”

You scoff, “No…" and then swallow at the anxious look that digs beneath his eyes, "I mean, I legit confessed my undying love for you and sucked your dick in the same hour. We don’t… ya know, have to do anything if you don’t-“

“Woah,” Eddie nearly shouts, eyes widening, “ Woah… that’s not it, sweetheart… that’s definitely not what I meant. It’s just…”

He props himself on his elbows, thumbs massaging your kneecaps, paying unusual attention to the healing scab leftover from stumbling on the dock at Lover’s Lake with him and the Scooby Doo gang a couple of weeks back. 

“Look,” he swallows, “I’ve been dreaming—literally wet dreams every night—about this, but,” he gulps again and clutches the top of your thighs like you’ll vanish if he doesn’t latch on, “... you sure? Once you pop, there’s no unpopping.”

Your lips quirk into a blushing smile. How can he be so… so… Eddie at a time like this? 

“Elegant as always, Mr. Munson. And yeah… I’m sure.” With a tilt and scoop of hard, ruddy cock, you get his half-skinned head against your clit—holding your breath—about to just... drop upon his intimidating meat before Eddie snatches your hips up in two rough, hot hands, halting your descent. 

“Wait! Shit… ”

“W-what?” You freeze, heart pounding.

“I don’t, uh… have any condoms. Threw the last roll out.”

You arch a brow.

“Expired,” Eddie explains, looking like he just took a 2d20 crit roll to the face, but you snort and kiss his nose, finding his confused expression adorable.

“I've been on the pill since junior year. You know how my folks are.”

Eddie nods, looking awe-struck. "R-right... those damn hippies... Jesus —I love hippies."

“So…” you giggle, swiping his raw dick through your drenched pussy and hiss, “since you wrapped it before. This is okay, right?”

Eddie shudders, “ … fuck me. I mean, y-yeah.” He nods in the affirmative so forcefully that his long, chestnut mop fluffs around his face. He grips your hips tighter, near-bruising them as your slick heat soaks down the veiny weight of his dick, catching in the curly bush at his base. 

“Good,” you breathe, trying to appear carefree even though your heart is racing a mile a minute; just thinking about plunging on Eddie’s marvelously massive cock, popping your cherry, and shredding the line between best friends and the very gray area you’re both in right now. “Guess that means we can do it raw, and I hear it feels better that way anyway.”

Eddie’s eyes light up like it’s fucking Christmas of ‘83 and Halloween of ‘86 all in one. “Like, I can… cum inside-” his fingers dent, and his cock twitches against your sopping pussy, “-inside you?”

“Please,” you exhale, trembling over his dick as it pulses against your fingers—against your folds—adding silky precum to your wetness. It’s all so slippery between your grip and… and it’d be so easy to just sink down and-

“Oh. My. God.” Eddie growls, looking just like he did in the Upside Down, running headfirst into a swarm of demo bats, but he’s yanking your body forward so his cockhead presses against your entrance, thrusting up an inch that just barely stretches you open. A slight twinge of pain bequeaths a pool of pleasant anticipation, feeling him so fucking close to being nestled inside you... so goddamn close...

“Tell me you want it—you want my cock, yeah?” Eddie groans, staring at your pussy drooling over his cock.

Unable to speak, you just nod.

“Like—I just,” Eddie’s lashes flutter as your body moves with his guiding hands, scrubbing over his oozing tip, “I need to hear you say it. Please… shit —please? Say you want my dick, an’ I’ll… goddamn give it to you. However you want it.”

“I want it—I want it so hah-“ you squeal as Eddie lunges up and forward, palm on the back of your head, grip tight on your right hip as your back hits the mattress with a bounce. He’s all over you in an instant—everywhere—hitching your leg around his side, urging you apart. Everything smells like him, that sweet skunky odor of sweat and aftershave that makes you whimper, spreading your legs wider, heels on his bare ass as his dick pushes through your narrow, wet passage. 

You whine, wrap your arms around his back, and cling as the burning tension expands, pussy stretching and tightening, and then… then, with an exhale, Eddie’s flared head pops inside. 

“Baby,” Eddie pants, untangling his fingers from the back of your head to move some stray locks off your sweaty face, “… so fucking tight. Are you-” he gives you a kiss that melts away some of the ache, “-you good? Does it… does it hurt?”

Instead of lying, you kiss him back and lock your ankles around his ass, forcing him an inch or two deeper, his shaky exhale damp against your lips. If the two of you could survive the Upside Down and graduation, you can survive Eddie’s colossal halbert. Oh, God… now he has you talking like a dork while losing your fucking virginity. All his fault, you think, because this dick of his is making you dumb and desperately horny. 

Shiny, kiss-puffy lips part with a gasp as you rut against him, plugging your searing pussy with another inch of superheated cock. Somehow, you can feel the drag of his foreskin gathering beneath his mushroom tip as he fills you up, massaging the greedy grooves within with every short thrust forward. It’s a little too much— a lot too much —but it’s Eddie. 

You beam, relishing the burn and the thrill as he bottoms out with several inches to spare.

“ Fuck… ” you blubber. “Isn’t it… all supposed to… f-fit?”

“I, uh- ” Eddie tries, but your insides tighten as he gropes your heaving breast, pussy clamping around him like a cranked-up vice. “Jesus! Fucking christ… ” 

Eddie keens against your mouth, “… sweetheart— fuck —can’t… I can’t go any deeper.”

“But, it’s-” you gasp, pressing your tits up, focusing on the little licks of pleasure as his thumb worries your nipple with a particularly rough callus, “-not… even-”

“Yeah, but… still feels good, right?— so perfect, " he gushes, looking totally wrecked and red, "Fuckin’ knew you would be… so soft’n tight… ” He pulls away at a molasses pace that has you whimpering, nails digging into his bare back.

Eddie breaks swollen eye contact to look down at your joined bodies as your insides clutch his swollen cockhead, hugging it tightly so it doesn’t slip out. His pink, near-crimson tongue peeks between his lips, pinched and wet. You wanna nip it with your teeth but can't do more than hug him close, shivering over his dick from the intensity and need for more...

“We’ll get there, baby,” Eddie coos. 

You dare to look down yourself and almost laugh in disbelief at the sheen of moisture clinging to his dick—the sheer fucking size of it; it seems much bigger in this context. 

“Soon, you’ll be taking all of it… every fucking inch.”

How? You can’t imagine, but then you let your eyes flutter close and picture a dozen vivid scenarios: getting bent over in the back of his van after a gig with his hips spanking against your ass as you take him like you were born to, held up in the kitchen against the counter and railed until his dick kisses your heart, rolled up in a sleeping bag out camping with everyone while you both muffle each other’s moans as he fucks you like this just like this, riding every inch of his cock until you’re drunk off it... and then your eyes snap open as Eddie thrusts into you again, your pussy quivering, making the both of you tremble.

“You like that?” Eddie asks. He sounds like he’s been outrunning the cops for miles and miles, but it’s just this—just you—and something about that fuels your ego just a teeny tiny bit. Poor Eddie, you think, all overwhelmed by your body hugging his. Who would have thought?

“ Mhmm! ” You moan because... what even are words?

“Yeah— fuck —yeah,” Eddie babbles, kissing down your chin and throat, “... know you do... can feel it.”

Your ankles tighten in a silent request, and thankfully, Eddie knows you well enough that words usually aren’t necessary. Hell, you could throw him a single look over a crowd at The Hideout, and he’d know whether it was an ‘I wanna ’nother drink’ or ‘I wanna ’nother hit’ kinda look. You still can’t figure out how he knows the distinction, even when you don’t even know what you need half the time, but he knows it—knows it now too, and his hips give a slow push, stuffing you back up to nearly too much.

“ Shit… ” he curses, “it’s—you’re too fuckin’ much. Can feel you fluttering around it. Feel it all… every single…” another languid thrust, “heartbeat around my cock.”

The dirty talk works you open just as well as his steady thrusts—just as much as his open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbones, leaving trails of saliva that cool in the chilly air. Someone outside slams a car door and shouts, but you’re so lost around Eddie’s cock you don’t even care if it’s Wayne coming by for a midnight snack… nothing really matters but this… just you and Eddie and-

“ Mmn! ” His dick strikes that spot, and you jerk your hips, meeting his motions… making room for it all, just like he said. “Ed-Eddie… god. Oh, god… ”

“ Shh, I got you, princess,” he promises, lips skimming your ear, kissing the shell. His tongue carves against your jawline. His palm squeezes your breast and pinches your nipple.

“Let Eddie the Banished make it all better.”

You nod, voiceless. 

“Then… m’gonna pump you full of cum.” Eddie slides in another inch, deep enough you can feel the tickle of his pubic hair with each gentle rock. “Gonna get real fuckin’ deep and… god, wanna see you leaking my jizz…”

Everything is so fucking hot. It’s mid-fucking-December, but it feels like July. Your grip on his back is slick with sweat. His bangs lay plastered against his forehead, and your whole everything breaks out in a flush that sweeps your brain into a puddle of mush, losing all control to the steady, relentless thwack of cock on that particular patch against the roof of your cunt. And with every dirty phrase and curse that leaks out of Eddie’s mouth as he pounds you into delirium, your pussy opens up more, welcoming the entirety of his cock, until his hips are spanking between your soaked inner thighs.

Oh, shit. Oh, fuck… oh god, it’s… it’s all in…

“Th-there you go, baby… feel that?” Eddie’s just as bad as you are. His filter’s fuckin’ gone—obliterated, “Gonna fill ‘er up an’ s-stuff it—all that cum back in ‘n finger fuck you ‘till it’s so… so fuckin’ deep.”

An absolutely pathetic whine squeaks out of you as Eddie’s pelvis meets your own, pausing to grind his cockhead into your cervix and then yanks back to pound you into a hiccuping shambles.

Oh, shit. Oh, fuck… oh god, it’s… it’s all in…

“ Fuck. You’re taking it all. B-baby… so good… yess—fuck! ”

Eddie never stops running his mouth. He’s constantly jabbering about any and everything until someone's on the cusp of a stroke and throws the nearest object at his head, but you’ve never gotten sick of listening to him, and now… now he’s going on about how amazing you feel ‘all snug and cuddly around my big, uncut cock’ and how he wants to spend the rest of his life just ‘pounding your soaked cunt, basting you in servings of cum until you’re knocked up and swollen.’ 

It’s all dopey talk, but as soon as he says, ‘fuck, you’d look so hot… fuckin’ big with my baby inside you…’ you arch your back and tell him , ‘fuck me, do it!’ as if that’s possible.

“You wanna get knocked up by the freak, huh? ” Eddie’s hips snap. 

You shake your head, hating how he calls himself that, like he’s trying to take back that shitty insult, but all you can utter is his name and a string of gibberish. His palm sweeps over your throat, squeezing like before, except this time, his thumb pulls on your chin until your mouth opens. Unable to bite down your moans now, a cacophony of pornographic squeals echoes into the bedroom and out the window. It’s an accident when his thumb pokes over your bottom teeth, but it’s you that closes your lips around it and sucks like you had his dick…

“ Jesus Christ, baby…”

That gentle, rhythmic give of cock goes rough and ragged, and you fuckin’ love every inch of it. Sucking on Eddie's thumb, you hold on tight, gripping the back of his head, fingers tangled in his locks, and relish the scrape of your nipples as your tits slide against his chest with every slap and grind. Each meeting of skin rubs his springy pubes against your clit, eating away at whatever grip on reality you had left.

“Wanna take my loads?” Eddie asks, but you can't answer, too busy silencing your screams around his thumb as everything gets wetter… even hotter—even better. 

“ Oooh fuck… “

Your insides flutter.

“You’re into this, right? Please… ”

“Y-yah,” you manage, his thumb hooked in the corner of your mouth. You half-gag happily, getting railed against his mattress as the springs screech, but nowhere near as loud as you shriek and wail, using the momentum from his plunging cock and the push back from his bed to meet his thrusts. A bolt of pleasure shoots whenever his hips meet your inner thighs, drowning your brain in endorphins.

Eddie lays a messy, haphazard kiss over your pried-open lips, tonguing you all nasty and slippery, then pops his thumb free, lifts himself up, and grips the metal bedframe over your head. His muscles tighten, and with a groan, he rears back and pounds the ever-loving fuck out of you. 

“Jesus- Jesus Christ… can feel your pussy dancing, sucking me in.”

You scrape your nails down his chest, then immediately fist the bedsheet beneath you. It’s a fumble that doesn’t give you much purchase, so you go for the metal headboard in his fists, trying to move into every fucking thrust, and when you do, it’s like someone cast Meteor Swarm on your nerves.

“You gonna cum? Gonna cum on my cock?”

Yes!  

“Please, fuck… shit! ”

You nod, chin to your chest, as your tits start to prickle with friction from bouncing vigorously over your ribs. Eddie throws his weight to his left arm and grabs at your right breast, clinging to it, massaging it, using it to help you meet each plunge of dick like you both can’t get him deep enough. It’s like… like you need more and more and everything…

Eddie senses it right away, whatever it is, “What-what do you need… please, tell me, baby.”

“I-I don’t know, I— mmph! ”

Eddie releases the headboard and scoops you up under the ass, hauling you into his lap. You gasp, scrambling to get your arms around his neck as he braces a broad palm on your upper back, watching you with wet brown bulbs of love as you sink effortlessly over his dick, right to the fucking hilt. You whine and bounce up immediately, needing that glorious friction as the dam inside you cracks open.

“That’s it,” Eddie rubs your spine, tipping you just a bit so his lips can fall down your chest to lick over a nipple. “Relax…” his tongue swirls, and it’s there—your orgasm—so close…

“Just me—just Eddie,” he continues, giving your tits kisses and haphazard licks while he pumps up into you. “I got you. Let me feel your sweet pussy take it all in.”

You do; you fucking take it all.

As Eddie’s lips seal around your nipple, the pressure multiples by tens of thousands of somethings that has you half-strangling his neck, bouncing on his dick like someone pogoing to the finish line of the world’s most ridiculously sexy race. Ever as your insides ripple and clamp—even as a flood of arousal makes his lap a soaked mess—you wonder if this is how all sex is or if it’s only this good because it’s Eddie. The thought makes you grin because you know it’s just Eddie… knowing it’s all him and you—the two of you—as your body gives into the high, cumming hard on his jackknifing cock.

His sticky pubes chafe your clit as you hit that zenith, rocking roughly in his lap, his dick tormenting that magical spot so deep inside it boggles what’s left of your damn mind.

“Holy shit…” you rasp, throat all raw and scratchy from filling Eddie’s ears (and the rest of the trailer park) with broken, piercing cries.

“Ed-Eddie…” it comes out soaked in mindless pleasure, “cum inside me.”

His mouth opens against your breast, forehead all slick against your sternum as both hands rush to lift up your ass, picking and dropping you down in his lap as his hips rock back and forth. You plant aimless kisses across his face, catching his lashes, nose, and lips as his fingers curl, body tensing, cock slapping up so fast it suspends you a few inches above his thighs until Eddie releases a string of wonderful nonsense.

“ Ahnn! Hn—uh’huh! ”

It’s a heated geyser overfilling your every sense when he cums—it’s a megahit of lava and guitar solos that tug at your heartstrings, and it's fucking everything. 

You yank on his curls and feel his chin bruise in the fat of your breast as his jaw drops, breath heating your nipple, releasing a broken hiss as the force of his orgasm makes your joined bodies even sloppier and stickier, filling his bedroom with rhythmic squelches as the excess gets fucked out of you, matting springy pubes. And then… Eddie groans like someone just murdered him. 

He falls back to the bed with your ass still death gripped in his palms. You squeak and fall with him, barely avoiding a nose-to-nose collision as Eddie swallows air like a beached wastrilith.

“I’m dead,” Eddie bellows loudly over the din of pentagram metal, making the music that much better, or Eddie’s deafening moans that much hotter? Who knows…

‘And baby you're gonna be my Queen…’

It’s the second time you’ve listened to this song… or the third? Who’s keeping count anyway, but you like it—think you’ll never forget tonight when you listen to this jam—this band… whoever the fuck they are…

“If you’re dead, I’m a fucking corpse…” you mutter into his pec, right over the decapitated demon in faded pigment and old holidays.

Eddie blows some air on your face to get your attention and grins at the weak glare you throw up at him, but it’s pointless because you’ve spent way more time than you wanna admit wondering what Eddie looks like when and after he cums to focus on pretending to be annoyed at his antics. He’s flushed a pretty pink with red splotches and droplets of perspiration. Frizzy bangs, usually all fluffy and full, are damp and dark strings against his forehead and cheekbones. Those Bambi eyes are glazed over… still a little red from the weed but focused on you, maybe in the same way you are on him.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, confirming your hopes and melting your heart a bit more. 

“So are you, and that was…”

“Please, tell me it wasn’t horrible…” He actually looks like you might say it was disappointing, which just makes you kiss him, and then again when he tries to speak, and again until he’s rubbing mindless designs into your back with his fingers and pinching your ass, lazily making out with you while his cock softens, and all his cum begins to ooze slowly out of your throbbing core.

Eventually, Eddie rolls you both on your sides and kisses your nose before carefully sliding himself from your sore pussy. It stings, but you bite your lip to stifle a hiss, not wanting Eddie to feel bad for the inevitable ache that comes with getting your cherry popped… and by a cock like his, no less. The halbert, you think, giggling.

“Care to share with the rest of the class what’s so funny, sweetheart?” Eddie hugs your naked, sweaty body into his and grins until all you see are dimples and burnt-umber eyes shining at you. 

“I’m gonna call your dick The Halbert from now on.”

He laughs, shoving his nose into the crook of your own, and folds around you as the air starts to grow chilly. “So, hang on. Does that mean I’m allowed to refer to your pussy as the Altar of Venus? Follow-up question: that means you liked it, right? The uh… the sex part…”

You scrunch up your face, “No, and yes. Obviously… I came like three fucking times. Also, you were there; you know you rocked my world, dude.”

“ Hmm, ” Eddie grins, nosing up to you as the wind outside howls, “fine. I’m just fishing for compliments at this point. Oh! How about Majestic Whispering Eye? ”

You think about it for half a second, “Fuck no. Altar of Venus is way better…” Kinda flattering, actually… in comparison to the other abominable phrase he uttered.

Some of that poetic doom metal eventually cuts back through the buzzing high of your orgasms, and just as your lashes touch, Eddie flings the covers over you with a kiss on your shoulder. “Do you think it’s this devil’s music that made you confess your undying love for me? Or am I just a butthead for waiting so long to spill my guts?” It’s supposed to sound humorous, but there’s an edge of insecurity at the end.

“No to both,” you smile and snuggle closer, wrapping an arm around his waist to dig your sticky self more firmly against his brimming body heat, “Was it responsible for you babbling about how you wanna get me pregnant and shit?”

Eddie grins, shrugs, and snuggles close until all you can smell is his cum and the rich tang of shared sweat. The both of you desperately need showers, and these sheets are fucking ruined, but right now you don’t wanna move, and neither does he, so… fuck it…

“Hey," you whisper.

"Hey, you," Eddie says back with a tired chuckle.

"I love you, Eddie,” you giggle, feeling light and free and high.

“Love you too, princess…” and then, once you’re dozing and too sleepy to do anything else but smile, Eddie exhales, “One day, I’m gonna put a baby in you, and then we’ll see who’s laughing.”

Bring it, Mr. Munson…

AO3 Link

[quarter-life-crisis2]

2023 nail journey

I'm just gonna document my progress because there's been some standouts this year. Excuse the extremely professional photos.

No one asked, no one cares, but this was fun for me to document given I have put in days of work on these over the year (insane honestly).

5th of May

We started the journey a bit rough when I went back to trying to do anything other than a plain colour, but the vision was there.

27th of May

Now this is where I felt my passion come alive again. This took an ungodly amount of time but I was so proud, I knew we were back baby!

21st of June

A day of failed attempts, so they were scrapped.

27th of June

Fucking loved these. First time using metal appliques and still figuring out the cuticle game but these gave a vague superhero vibe and I loved them. I did eventually peel those metal squares and left them in a little pile on my nightstand a few weeks later.

21st of July

Here I wanted to switch it up. I was finally over the white, wanted something simple and wanted to try out the eyeshadow ombre trick, which did indeed work but wasn't very memorable.

8th of August

Following is another simple one, nude with chrome powder. These were birthday + beach holiday nails. Additional photos because these nails lasted so long, even during a move and only broke when I was hoovering.

On the 3rd of September they were still going strong and let me tell you I did a lot of manual labour for that move

9th of September

Another great one, honestly loved these ones. Still experimenting with chrome powders.

3rd of October

The months before Christmas were a bit more basic. I was enjoying the nude and was learning how to better shape the builder gel and the cuticles and still struggling.

24th of November

Last nude set of the year, still trying to get a better shape on the builder gel and playing with glitter.

16th of December

Finally, the Christmas nails. These took the length of two full shifts only no one paid me, and really should not take that long given the intricate gold is just sticker (play the 127 flute). I did apply on some of them individual glitter specks which you can barely see...

And yeah, that's the end of 2023, but just gonna squeeze in last night's nails cause why not.

8th of January 2024

I'd say a fair bit of improvement on the builder and cuticles and the pattern wasn't too hard and it actually looks like the reference I used. Also, finally down below 50% on the electric file casualties, only stabbed 4/10 fingers.

bonus on the builder fix for this tragic nail