#yeah and what has that man proven himself to know? literally fucking nothing lmao

[danthropologie]

wow so you're saying that maybe the problem wasn't actually with the proven race winner and instead with the technical director that couldn't design his way out of a paper fucking bag if he tried? shocking

[everything-laito]

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't! 

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are. 

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc 

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut! 

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well. 

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as: 

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it. 

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been  but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections. 

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz 

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits. 

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate: 

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her.  Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive.  Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat. 

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.” 

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section. 

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person. 

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic. 

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven. 

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact. 

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more. 

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part. 

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions. 

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am!  -Corn

[hatenostorms]

aoc spoilers under the cut !!!! like, please don't read if you haven't finished the game !!!!

hi yeah so ive seen some posts about the way revali was written in aoc and like i just wanna,,, ramble a (very tired and incoherent) opinion.

so yeah, revali could've been written better in aoc lmao uhh... while i understand that he's an asshole, and i think his hostile attitude towards link is understandable, whoever wrote him decided to just... crank it up 10x from botw which i don't know how to feel about.

Like i was kind of taken aback when he was insulting link (before they go to the korok forest and you play with vah medoh) because like it felt insanely uncalled for? and yeah of course the bitterness of link just kinda being there when he hasn't even proven himself, i can get that. but he called him pathetic or some shit (i don't remember lmao) and i just ???

In botw revali wasn't as much of a dick, and in the memory link has of him, his gripe with link didn't feel as weirdly aggressive?? like in aoc he was just aggressive for not much of a reason and it was like,,, oh okay i guess

flash forward a bit, link gets the master sword. revali is still kinda like,,, whatever idk he didn't really even mention it for some reason (that i can remember). but when you help him on vah medoh, again his reaction is like, weirdly aggressive. this interaction wasn't as bad for me, as it felt like something he'd say tbh but also when thinking back to botw and you freeing vah medoh, he was so much more encouraging and not as bad? like i get his pride and stuff but... whatever i don't know what else to say on that lol

also, they really focused revali on link, and not him interacting with the other champions, impa, or even zelda. He feels insanely underdeveloped in comparison. even when he was with teba, they barely gave any sort of reaction from revali like they did with the other champions meeting riju, yunobo, and sidon. like he barely spoke to anyone and it feels like we were were robbed of that. a heart to heart with link after vah medoh, with teba, even zelda or mipha??? ANYTHING would've been nice. it felt as if he was there just to be the jerk of the group, almost like comedic relief except now people are gonna hate on him more :,,,) they didn’t have to make him the most “uwu i love everyone” type of guy but ffs give me SOMETHING. 

also yeah that, it feels like the writers wrote revali with the intention of making people hate him more than they already did. like you give him no development, barely any interactions with the group aside from him insulting link, and aside from the absolutely hilarious "don't screw it up!" line at the end, we were robbed of him feeling like an actually fleshed out character. to be fair, the other champions weren't exactly the most fleshed out, but they were made to feel, in comparison, more likeable; and they had more genuine conversations and interactions as i mentioned. 

then we get to the end of the game, and i feel like ive barely seen revali the entire time other than when i played as him (which was often but that's not relevant sjsndkwndj). aside from idle unvoiced text that was shown during missions with him (which doesn't exactly count because it's not plot or story based), he barely got enough screentime in game. it's disappointing, im ngl.

i know nothing is this serious and revali is just a fictional bird man but i do love him a lot and feel like the way he was written in aoc was just not very good, and will only fuel people's dislike of him and once again they'll ignore the more complex parts of his character and dub him the "asshole that bullied link". revali is so much better than that and he deserves better writing. they tried to make king fucking rhoam seem more likeable than revali like are you deadass... that mf gets a “redemption” but revali, one of the MAIN CHARACTERS gets jack shit????? lmao ANYWAYS.... 

also its 4am so if there are any general inaccuracies or grammar mistakes don't roast me im literally exhausted AJSJEKSBEJ i just needed to talk about that because while I've seen some posts about this some of that was on my mind. 

[yeunbins]

fuckboy!yoonbin

no fucking in my christian minecraft server + this was so uncalled for but he radiates big fuckboy energy so here we are:

so yoonbin as a fuckboy right,,

his usual attire is big ass hoodies and black skinny jeans (neither ripped or not)

you least expected him to be a fuckboy due to his high grades and quiet persona

but nah sis, we’re both WRONG

you see,, being quiet is just a persona he keeps up

esp. the persona he’s best known for in school

drum roll pls

a tsundere!!

bro like, he’s so nice but at the same time he’s not????

some days he’d be helping literally everyone around him

some days he’d tease them or push them over

and thats why girls fall for him LMAO

he’s like every girl’s dream man

I’M NOT WRONG THIS IS PURE FACTS. TESTED AND PROVEN

the way he hits on girls is like,,

the most stereotypical way how boys hit on girls

ya know??

like the obvious pushing them against the locker scenario

intentionally dropping their books

this causes girls to hate him right?

WRONG

he flashes his infamous gummy smile™️ right after

which makes girl’s heart fLUTTER

like mine uwu

he has also taken a liking on producing music

“like every typical white boy” — u sigh to ur bff mashiho

so this literally means he gives out random mixtapes to girls,,, who pass by his locker

JDJJSJS

did i mention he was the foreign exchange student from australia?

yeah he is sis

so anyway

literally this boi is so full of himself he just knows all the girls in school has fallen for him

tho he tries to like decline,,, when ppl run up to him like: “i like u uwu”

he would highkey be like: not interested bye

but like that’s what makes the people want him more

since they know he’s like playing cold and stuff

but sis he really ain’t interested !!

that was when his attention was on u

like wow the player-ish is falling for like a person who doesnt give a fuck

who would’ve known !!

he tries so hard to get your attention

but obviously failing at most

he’d attempt to drop your things but you dropped his instead

or he’s like making his way towards u

and ur like leaving

and his plan was that he’d bump into u

but u bumped into him first

nd he stumbles n stuff

makes him lowkey PISSED that he cant get his moves

!! right !!

right when he was abt to give up on u

his bff jihoon hypes him up

we love best friends

“U CAN DO IT BINNIE!! WE AINT FUCKBOYS FOR NOTHING!!! – jihoon, in the middle of the cafeteria

“bRO SHUT THE FUCK UP” – yoonbinz

and on a random ass day

he finally got the courage to ask u out

or attempt to

the fuckboy way ™️

“ur cute” he winks @ u

“aand you suck at this” – u counter

my man lost all the color in his face

he’s: embarrassed

“here’s my number since i know you’re gonna ask for it. better luck next time” – u hand him a piece of paper before leaving him in shock

and jihoon pops up out of no where

“so did u do it???” he asks

“no. she did it for me” – yoonbin

“BRO WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO OUR FUCKBOY CODE” – jihoon yeLLS out again

and that was when yoonbin knew,, he had a weak spot for u

tune in next time!!

the end!!!

[hangjie]

holiday blues (3). [ timothée chalamet ]

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART FOUR

summary: reader slips up that she has a boyfriend and begs timothée to be her pretend boyfriend during the holidays

warnings: i tried being poetic or some shit like that (oh and swearing

word count: -

author’s note: happy new year, everyone! hope you all enjoy 2019 and enjoyed 2018 (bc i’m sure i didn’t lmao) 💙 y’all thought that this was the end? lmao well guess what? this has another part bc i’ve reached the text limit ;(( hdjdkskskdkf i know that this sucks so much (i feel delusional bc i’ve stayed up until 5-7 am for a more or less than a week just to write this).

(y/l/n) - your last name

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

the soft light seeping through my curtains illuminates the room, setting a white warm glow around the room. i could hear the blows of the cold breeze trying to get into the room. i could see the tiny snowflakes falling from the sky and landing on the blankets of snow on the ground.

i rub the sleep from my eyes before turning around in bed. i expected to face the pile of stuffed animals i arranged last night as a border between timothée and i, but instead, i face the sleeping brunette boy who not only had his arm wrapped around my waist but also is inches away from my face.

i feel my cheeks burn as i move away from him. he only groans and pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist tighter.

a few seconds later, his eyes start to open to reveal his green eyes. though they were sleepy, they were still beautiful.

timothée yawns and unleashes one arm from my waist to rub his eyes. “good morning,” he says, smiling sleepily.

gosh, he’s so cute.

“can you let go of me, timmy?” his face turns into a confused expression until he looks down and notices his arms around me. he looks back at me with pink-tinted cheeks, but his flustered face quickly turns into a smirk.

he shakes his head and says, “no.” as i was about to say something, he gets on top of me and tickles me. i start to laugh out loud, hitting timothée repeatedly and trying to get away from him, but his legs were at my side, making me unable to escape from him.

“t-timmy-y, stop i-it!” i say in between laughs. he stops and puts his hand on his chin, acting like he was thinking. “hmm, no thanks,” he says before going back to tickle me again. “y-you’re such a f-fucking child-d!”

i grab one of my pillows and hit timothée with it on the head. he finally lets go of me and lays on the bed, with his arms raised in an attempt to protect himself from my hits whilst laughing.

i climb on top of him and continue hitting him until he says, “okay, okay! i give up!” i return the pillow to its original place and do a little victory dance. “take that, chalamet! who’s the boss of you now?” i say, victoriously and my small victory fades away when timothée rolls us over and gets on top of me, pinning me against the bed.

he smirks when he sees my confused gaze. “obviously not you, (y/l/n).” i roll my eyes as he chuckles.

after his laughter tones down, i couldn’t help but stare at timothée’s eyes, him doing the same with mine. he quickly glances at my lips then to my eyes, slowly leaning in. i could hear my heart pounding in my ears as his hot breath fans my face. our noses touch and we slowly close our eyes, ready to feel each other’s lips on one another before i hear the door burst open and mom’s voice calling for timothée and i.

“(y/n), timothée, get up! we're—oh!”

timothée quickly gets off me and i sit up, our faces even redder than before. “i’m not interrupting anything, am i?” mom asks, raising an eyebrow. “no, no, no, no! nothing happened. i swear, mom!” i cover my face with my hands, trying to hide from the embarrassment. “please don’t tell dad.”

mom looks between timothée, who was looking at somewhere in the room, too embarrassed to meet my mom’s eyes and me, who was covering my face with my hands.

“okay,” mom says, dragging out the ‘o.’ “i’ll see you two downstairs.” she glances between us again before walking out the room.

as soon as mom is gone, i grab my pillow and groan as loud as i can. it’s only the morning and i’ve already managed to embarrass myself.

i can’t wait to embarrass myself even more today.

***

after breakfast, i decide to relax with the rest of my family in the living room. a smile grows on my lips as i watch timothée play with my baby cousins (who were asleep the whole day yesterday). my 11 months old cousin sits on his lap, staring up at him as my 5-year-old cousin leans over to put a princess crown over timothée’s head.

i cannot help but feel my heart do flips as i watch the scene in front of me. timothée who can be so goofy and cheeky when with me, can be soft and gentle when with kids makes my heart flutter.

i wonder how he’ll be when he has his own kids someday.

“are you in love with him?” i hear my aunt ask.

i snap out of my trance and nearly choke on my own spit when the words register inside my head.

“what?”

“with timothée. are you in love with him?” she clarifies.

“i-i don’t know, auntie. it’s too early in our relationship to say that.”

“but do you love him?”

that question strikes me even more than the previous one because i honestly don’t know if i love timothée or not. i mean, i love him as a friend and i certainly do have feelings for him, proven through his stay at my parents’ house, but do i like or love him?

i look away from her and glance back at timothée, who was now laughing along with my 5-year-old cousin as he tries to apply lipstick on her lips.

i chuckle, the smile staying on my lips as my laughter fades. “yeah, i do love him.”

“oh my god!” a loud yell erupts in the room, making us all turn our direction to the corner of the room where my cousins are sitting on the floor, looking between timothée and the tv screen as it plays ‘call me by your name.’

oh no. here we go.

my youngest cousin, rose stands up from the ground and points at timothée. “you’re elio from call me by your name!” she points then to the tv where timothée’s scene of elio watching oliver play volleyball is playing.

“you’re an actor?” i hear the voice of my dad ask as he comes into the living room with a mountain of gifts on his arms. timothée’s cheeks redden and before he could answer my dad’s question, rose immediately comes up to him with the rest of my cousins and starts asking him questions.

dad approaches the christmas tree and puts the gifts underneath it. when dad leans back up straight, he watches the movie for a while until he says, “he’s a great actor.”

“dad, i can explain—“

“no, (y/n). no need for explaining. clearly, he can take care of you financially if he ever decides to marry or have kids with you.”

i open and close my mouth, but no words come out of it. dad approaches me and takes my hand with an apologetic look on his face.

“(y/n), i’m sorry for being rude to timothée. i was only doing that because i thought that he had no job and that when you two get married and have kids, he won’t be able to make you and your family happy.”

“dad, i don’t care about money and financial stuff. i only care about love, happiness, and trust in our relationship. he could be the poorest man alive and i would still love him.”

he sighs and looks down. “i know. i’m sorry for only caring about money.” he looks up at my eyes. “i’m really sorry, honey.”

i pull my dad in a tight hug. “it’s okay, dad. on behalf of timothée, you’re forgiven.” i rub his back, comfortingly before pulling away.

as if my mom was listening to our conversation, she comes into the room and calls for everyone to come in the living room.

my cousins finally leave timothée alone and i approach him as he gives back my baby cousins to my aunt. i take a seat beside him and he wraps his arm around my shoulder. “hey, so how did your small meet and greet go?” he rolls his eyes and chuckles. “it was fine. turns out that rose actually wants to be an actor and asked for tips on how to become one.”

i open my mouth to say something, but my mom shushes me. i pout at her and cross my arms around my chest as she laughs.

“so, we will start with the gift-giving!” mom gets several gifts from underneath the christmas tree and distributes them to almost everyone in the room. she gives me her gift and i thank her, kissing her cheek.

“timothée, i’m so sorry that i don’t have a gift for you. i didn’t know that (y/n) would be bringing her boyfriend and i didn’t have the time to buy a gift,” she says and timothée reassures her that it’s fine and that the best gift he could get is being able to be with me and my family.

it goes on for a while until it was my turn. i stand up and get my presents for my family from under the tree. i then give the gifts to my family and then i turn to timothée who looks up at me with a smile on his lips.

i hand out the remaining present in my hands to timothée. he looks at me with surprise and says, “(y/n), you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“just shut up and open your present.”

he tears the christmas wrapping and opens the box inside to reveal a polaroid camera (a/n: idk but this kinda suits timothée’s aesthetic and i literally can’t think if anything else okay shush).

his eyes sparkle in excitement and he jumps up from the ground, pulling me into a tight hug. “oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you!” he lifts me from the ground and spins me around, making me laugh.

“okay, okay. cut it out, lovebirds. go get a room.”

he finally sets me down on the ground and he kisses my cheek. his mouth goes to my ear and he whispers, “thanks for being a good friend.”

friend.

“it’s the least i could do for getting you to be my pretend boyfriend.” i try to hide the sad smile and i sit back to my previous spot.

my eyes glance over to the tree and notice that there are three presents left, but i get confused because i’m pretty sure that everyone has given their gifts, but my thoughts are interrupted when timothée approaches the tree and picks up the presents.

he brought gifts? even if he’s pretending to be my boyfriend?

before he goes to give his gifts, he stands in front of us with a guilty look on his face. “i’m sorry that i didn’t get everyone gifts. i didn’t know that (y/n)’s extended family would be attending and i expected it to be only her mom and dad.” he chuckles, making everyone chuckle as well.

he approaches my parents and gives them two of the gifts as my parents look at him in awe. my mom stands up and hugs him and when they pull away from each other, my dad stands up and shakes timothée’s hand.

“i’m so sorry for being so rude to you,” my dad apologizes. “it’s okay, mr. (y/l/n). i completely understand.” timothée smiles at my dad and unexpectedly, my dad gives him a hug. timothée stands shocked for a while, but nevertheless, he hugs him back. when they pull away from each other, dad says, “welcome to the family, son,” only making timothée’s smile grow even wider.

he walks away from my family and walks in front of me. he smiles down at me and places his gift down before helping me up. timothée then hands me his gift and i raise an eyebrow at him.

“timothée, you really didn’t have to—“

“just shut up and open the gift,” he says, mimicking my words earlier. i chuckle and playfully hit him on his shoulder before opening the gift.

my eyes widen and my jaw drops to the floor when i see a beautiful sparkling necklace. the necklace is white gold and has a small heart as a pendant (a/n: cliché af but uGh i would die if someone gave me this i swear).

“open the heart,” he quietly says and i do so, opening the heart pendant to reveal a picture of timothée and i. the picture is from the time timothée and i went on a “friendly date” to celebrate the first year of our friendship.

“so that you wouldn’t miss me too much if i’m away shooting a movie,” he claims.

timothée grabs the necklace from my hands and puts it around my neck. i lift my hair from behind as he chains the necklace on to my neck.

“timmy, it’s beautiful.” i grab the necklace and admire the simple yet meaningful gift. “thank you.” i pull him into a tight hug and bury my face into his chest. i inhale the scent of his cologne as i feel myself melt into his arms.

i truly treasure this moment because although he’s pretending to be my boyfriend for my sake, he doesn’t fail to show me love and his gratefulness of our friendship.

snap!

timothée and i pull away from each other and see mom holding her polaroid camera in her hands. “you two are so cute!” we back away from each other with red cheeks and smiles on our faces.

***

the rest of the day goes smoothly contrary to my words earlier.

i‘m catching up with my uncle who i haven’t seen a long time due to him working overseas and timothée is playing with my baby cousin alongside rose who tells him stories about her “theatre adventures” as she would call it.

i laugh at a joke my uncle says until i hear one of my cousins call for timothée and me. i excuse myself and approach my cousin as timothée walks to my side.

my cousin smiles at us mischievously and i ask him, “what’s up?”

“see for yourself.”

he points above us and i nearly faint when i see a mistletoe above timothée and me. my cheeks turn into a deep red and i look over at timothée, noticing that his red cheeks match mine.

“we don’t have to do this, you know,” he says, approaching me with anxious eyes. “we can just kiss each other on the cheek or—“

“just kiss me.”

“what?” timothée’s eyes widen at my statement. “(y/n), are you sure?” i nod my head and the next thing i knew, he leans into me and i feel his lips against mine. i wrap my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in his curly hair as his hands grip my waist, pulling me closer to him.

i wouldn’t lie, i’ve always wondered what it’s like to kiss timothée and wondered how i would feel if he did and as cliché, as it sounds, the kiss felt like fireworks and i felt a warm feeling inside my chest.

i pull myself away from him and open my eyes to see his green ones staring back at me.

as much as i enjoyed the kiss, i couldn’t help but feel guilty and anxious. i just kissed timothée, my best friend.

i open my mouth to say something but quickly close it when nothing comes out. i look around to see my family who’ve gathered around us then i look back at timothée who looks back at me with a worried expression.

“(y/n), are you okay?” he asks, but before he could say anything else, i grab my coat and walk out of the house, murmuring, “i need some fresh air.”

MASTERLIST

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 026: Obstacle Course Part 2 (Conclusion)

Previously on BnHA: The kids of class A busted their way through the sports festival obstacle course like the young gods-in-the-making they are. Everyone was like, whoa, these kids are kicking ass. Momo made a gun and I may have cried a little. Some girl from the support course macguyvered her way through with moon shoes and a utility belt. Fucking Deku tore through the entire thing carrying a giant metal plate and just whomping robots left and right and shimmying across the floating islands of Pandora like fucking Spider-Man. He then catapulted himself onto a bunch of mines in a fucking minefield and fucking surfed the resulting explosion and I’m fucking done you guys.

Today on BnHA: Deku nearly commits a murder but it nets him first place. Todoroki spits in the face of continuity. Everyone in class A advances to the second round of the festival. Midnight announces that round 2 will be a cavalry battle. Deku has a target painted on his back because no good deed ever goes unpunished.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 48 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh my god look at these huge text boxes. are these all Deku?? this kid is fucking twacked out on something right now I swear

yeah I guess this is Deku’s POV from when he was like “RARRRRRRRR [BOOM]” from before

seriously this kid is out here channeling the Hulk or something

holy shit he actually dug up the mines in order to jump on them??

All Might what have you done. look what you’ve created

more like blasting shounen maniac

also I forgot Kacchan’s arm was frozen and I had to stare at it for a sec before my memory filled in the blanks there

so we’re all in agreement that Deku has actually gone crazy right?

“yup this is intense” totally fucking bananas

Kacchan has such an over the top wtf expression that for a moment I actually thought Deku had hit him in the head on the way down

he didn’t think about the landing. of course not. shounens never think about the landing

well maybe this guy can inadvertently help you out with that somehow

wow look at his face. Deku what have you done

now Todoroki’s making an ice path

by the way, so Todoroki apparently doesn’t need to physically touch whatever it is he’s freezing, then? because here he’s just stomping on the ground and it’s immediately turning to ice, but he’s wearing shoes. I can’t remember if he’s done this before, but I feel like up till now it’s always been his hands

in fact, I just went back and checked his intro in chapter 11 and it specifically said he freezes things with his right hand (left hand is the fire one). so I consider this panel a plot hole unless Horikoshi decides to come along and explain it later

(ETA: not only did they not explain it, they didn’t change it for the anime either. WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ENTIRE SERIES IS RUINED JUST LIKE THAT OMG.)

Deku seems more worried about losing time on his landing than he is about, you know, landing badly and breaking every bone in his body. I guess once you’ve already done that a few times, you kind of become accustomed to it and it’s no big deal anymore

(ETA: let’s not talk any more about Deku not giving a shit about his own broken bones holy shit.)

why do shounen people always take such a long fucking time to fall

lol the other two are rushing past him while he’s slowly drifting into the frame upside-down

grab onto them and use them as your sled dogs!

holy fuck what is he doing lmao

this kid is really out here with his HEEERE’S JOHNNY face deadass about to commit murder live on camera in front of 100,000 people

oh thank god he didn’t actually hit them. though I feel like it wasn’t for lack of trying

he hit the ground again and of course, more land mines

I feel like he ended up murdering them anyway tbh

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TEACHING THOSE KIDS ERASER HEAD” lmao sob this chapter is epic

and EH is all “I didn’t even do anything they’re just like this”

Deku actually made it back first! holy shit. and all he had to do was go completely off the deep end and murder two of his classmates to do it

oh my god his mom is watching

I mean, of course she’s watching, but it only just occurred to me. is he actually going to use his quirk here at some point or what? and if he does, just what the hell is she going to make of that?

I hope he comes clean with her afterwards, honestly. I have faith in her ability to keep a secret that would put her child’s life in jeopardy otherwise

(ETA: Deku is a liar and a thief and his poor mom deserves better)

and speaking of that, scrolling back up to the panel above Izumama, there’s this other random guy watching Deku who seems to also recognize him

what’s this about exactly? a year ago would be right around the time of the Sludge Incident. does he remember him from that? or does he somehow know Deku from back in his middle school days?

(ETA: it’s the former, I overthought this)

actually there are a lot of people who went to school with Izuku and specifically knew him to not have a quirk, come to think. what are all of them going to think if he suddenly busts one out here in front of the entire country? I feel like that’s going to seem really fucking suspicious and raise a lot of questions

anyway, moving on here, it seems Tomura is watching too. what a creep

and his hands are gone, just like when he visited the school that day and (presumably) broke in

aww. Deku sought out All Might’s face in the crowd and he’s grinning at him and he looks so proud. he’s crying again sob. and All Might looks fucking ecstatic

now All Might is having an internal monologue about how so many modern heroes are in it for the fame and so they’re selfish, but Deku isn’t like that, and that’s why he chose him. and interestingly he says he thought that quality would be a potential weakness, but he’s happy to be proven wrong

“but you gotta stop crying all the time!” aww, let him be, he’s emotional, there’s nothing wrong with that. I was gonna add “and he’s still a kid”, but that implies that there’s anything wrong with an adult being emotional which isn’t the case either. I know he’s all about the whole “smiling through the pain” thing, but Deku’s not the type to keep his feelings so hidden, and honestly I think that’s also a strength rather than a weakness

people from the business course are discussing Deku’s draft stock now, and speculating on how they would market him

yeah All Might I kind of see what you mean here. it’s all about the PR, and the actual hero stuff has almost been taken out of the equation

there’s a panel explaining how the business course members don’t participate in the sports fest directly and instead they just walk around doing boring business things. I’m not at all interested in this but I am dutifully making a note of it

(ETA: though I would be interested if they did some more shit dealing with sudden fame and celebrity and marketing deals. it’s still ridiculous to me that a country with as huge an idol culture as Japan would not be attempting to do this with at least some of these U.A. kids.)

(ETA 2: finally in the latest chapter I read we at least had someone filming a commercial.)

Kacchan and Todoroki have arrived back at the stadium out of breath as losers. sorry losers

poor Todoroki. IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMOUS DAD AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan’s super pissed but what else is new. is your arm okay bud. also you probably could have blasted your way across that final part of the course similar to how Deku did, but you didn’t. you literally have only yourself to blame

oh wow, Ochako and Iida rounding out the top five! what a pleasant surprise

(ETA: yeah this misconception will be rectified shortly, so I’m leaving it)

Iida’s depressed because being fast is His Whole Thing and he still came in like fifth. honestly I feel like that does hurt him a little more than the rest, because if any heroes out there are on the lookout for a speedster, they’re probably going to be less taken with a guy that didn’t even manage to make the podium in the speed competition. but you still have the rest of the festival, Iida. and if all else fails, you’ll still have two more chances after this

Deku is literally hiding his face because Ochako came right up to him and started talking about how great he was

it was not close, Deku

now he’s saying he got lucky. that was part of it, sure, but dude you were a fucking beast out there. honestly it was scary

Momo made it in sixth! along with this piece of drifting garbage that seems to have gotten stuck to her somehow

I’m sorry you had to see this, everyone. Momo is brilliant, but I feel like she missed a golden opportunity to make another gun or something and solve our Mineta problem for good. they did say no rules, after all. any lawyer worth their salt should be able to work with that

oh wow, I thought Iida and Ochako were fourth and fifth, but apparently that Poison Ivy girl came in fourth! Ibara, huh? I like her a lot

and this Dia de Muertos guy came in fifth!!

MY GOD IIDA, SIXTH?? YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

and Ochako is #16?? EVERYONE, WE’RE GONNA RIOT

class B seems to only have a few standouts, really. thank god tbh. it was hard enough trying to memorize the first twenty kids’ names

(ETA: for a brief moment it looked like this might not be true, but then it was true again lol)

can’t believe Kaminari’s all the way down at #24. what happened?

are there... two invisible kids here?

(ETA: this literally never came up again??!)

and Aoyama barely made it. the cutoff was at #42 for some reason. they could have easily set it at the much more normal number of 40, but they just liked you that much, Aoyama!

Midnight’s about to announce the second event, but she’s dragging it out so damn much and I can’t take it

“Cavalry Battle”! yay! what’s that

Tsuyu says they’re teaming up but imma need more deets

“participants will form, on their own, teams of two to four members each” okay I can already foresee a few problems here

-- and get into a horse and rider formation, oh my god

I LOVE IT

for a brief moment I was like “wow this is really tame compared to the first event.” but then I remembered that they all have powers and will presumably be trying to kill each other and I can see this getting really fucking violent actually

that said! I’m definitely here for it lol

damn she’s still going on. apparently each kid has been assigned a point value based on the results of the previous event. so that means Deku has the highest value I guess. well, he wanted to stand out

TEN MILLION POINTS wow. this seems a bit broken to me

Deku’s face is

pretty good

what kind of fucked up olympics punishes you for doing well though

ten million points, though. damn. and meanwhile that lucky s.o.b. Aoyama is only worth five

and wow, we’ve reached the end of volume three already! well that sure was fun

BONUS:

Mt. Lady again?

she’s ordering takoyaki

she’s trying to get it for free omg

it worked omg

that’s it. that’s the comic

wow

now there’s a second comic that seems almost identical to her first comic from an earlier volume. this accountant guy is complaining that she’s lost them so much money

she can apparently grow from her normal size up to about 67 and a half feet. and that’s it. nothing in between

aside from that slight bit of additional detail, this is literally the exact same comic strip from before. I want those twenty seconds of my life back damn it

[ryouverua]

Chapter 5 Investigation (2)

Are you telling me Shuichi is not the picture of silence and grace?

LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CREEPY BEAR

1 is here

 I.... I spent so much time moving slowly, with my heart just beating strongly against my chest - AND I’M NOT EVEN THE ONE THAT WAS IN DIRECT DANGER I DID THAT ALL FOR NOTHING

Is it bad that I’m enjoying Shuichi getting progressively more flustered and angry as we go on?

it’s a guilty conscience - all those forbidden trysts are weighing on him -

I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! KOKICHI WAS GUARDING YOU WASN’T HE!!!

Yeah, so he makes an interesting comment about making things a level playing field. Why? And it seems... a bit vague... like, is the other person that knows this information the culprit, or the mastermind?

“You’re just attacking all of my flaws today, aren’t you.”

shuichi torrents old books and crime dramas pass it on

Now onto Maki’s lab, where to no one’s surprise we find the black bags with the crossbows one short. Could it possibly be the one from the bathroom? MAN I’m glad it’s Shuichi here so we’re not stuck wondering where the other could possibly be like we have video game-convenient amnesia

And we’ve confirmed Himiko was seen bringing a black bag...

Ah, man, I’m beginning to wonder if both Himiko and Maki were roped into Kaito’s plan. Had Kaito really not fully gotten over his personal issues with Shuichi? Was he still a bit uncomfortable, or did he not want Shuichi to feel responsible if something went wrong?

Are you putting together the same pieces I am, Shuichi? We had an awfully convenient scene with Kaito and Maki here a few nights ago!

How many trips do you think it took Kaito to carry all those weapons to the gym. 8′D That’s what, two flights of stairs between the lab and the gym? Damn boy, guess your muscles haven’t atrophied after all!

Shuichi how in the world did you notice that discrepancy in liquid! It’s minuscule!

This... sounds like the perfect poison to tip a certain weapon’s arrows with. 8/

With that said, what was the poison bottle in the bathroom for, then? A red herring? But it was empty, right?

Wait... wait wait wait - are those puns? For like, arsenic, hemlock and nightshade? 

*one google later*

OH STRIKE-9 IS STRYCHNINE! omg that’s actually really good 8′D Bless you translators, you’ve done good work here.

So basically there’s one, maybe two poisons in play, and possibly antidotes in case something went awry? So... where’s the Strike-9 antidote? Or is there one?

I do like Shuichi making some of the connections for us, like him making the (most likely correct) assumption that for every poison we have, there should be an antidote. I feel like I haven’t shown my appreciation for his evidence and mystery-solving side recently - I will say this again, once, twice, twenty times, but when it comes to the technical bits of the mystery, he is fantastic. Motive and emotionally? Not so great at it - but I think that’s because that involves a lot more abstract thinking. This is where he really shines.

So this is where we differ - he’s talking about how all the evidence points to Kaito being dead, and Kokichi being alive. I think that’s true on a surface level, but there’s a few key places that I may be ahead of him on that lead to a split in our thinking.

Which brings me to this - I’m surprised he hasn’t made the connection about Kokichi not being the mastermind like I have - but I think that’s because I have an outsider’s perspective. Once that basic premise flips, things are going to get a whole lot more ambiguous!

MY BOY!!! MY DEAR!!! MY SWEETCHEEKS!!!

.... D... Did I miss something???

You mean like EVERYTHING that was on the floor??

I mean, unless he can activate the hatch of the red exisal with the remote? Maybe? He’s proven really good at hiding around the campus though, so who knows. 8′D maybe he’s in the exisal wash clinging to one of those giant brushes lmao

But if he was... then we’d have to account for Kaito.

Unless they were both dead under there.

....

don’t you fucking do it DR.

I... sort of... understand Shuichi’s feelings, only because he clearly cared for Kaito so much...

but on the other hand, what a cruel way for Tsumugi to put it. Not, “do you think Kaito is still alive,” but “do you think Kokichi died,” do you prefer it that way - the connotations are completely different.

T.... Tsumugi... it may be best to stop talking now....

I’m starting to wonder if she can act so calmly because he isn’t dead, and she knows it - but I’ll save those thoughts for the end.

Kaito’s body is (probably) still warm Himiko, are you about to jump ship to Saiibo already??? 

OH HOLY SHIT

(BUTT NAKED?!)

What a brave, brave soul.

Y-Yes but, um, er, what would you have done if it... hadn’t... been a clue...???

Man, Shuichi’s first solo investigation since Chapter 1 when he discovered the mastermind’s door...

Actually, that might not be true. K1-b0 and Tsumugi have both been helping in small ways - well, K1-b0 much more than Tsumugi - so perhaps I can at least designate K1-b0 as his minor assistant in this chapter?

OW -

OW?!?!

Those are definitely the marks of a kid attacked by a crossbow!

So if they were both hit, then... was there a struggle? Kaito shot him, Kokichi managed to shoot him back? But if he was shot with two, and there was poison involved... would that be enough for Kaito to overcome him, illness and all?

Dear lord Shuichi I know you want Kaito to be alive but don’t act so happy about Kokichi being dead!

“MY NEW PARTNER!! AIBOU!!!”

LMAO K1-B0 WEREN’T YOU THE ONE THAT PULLED IT OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE

Yeah, now that’s the point I’m stuck on - though I do have a few ideas, one of them involving him being too weak to show himself at this point. 8(

Oh Shuichi, you’ll get there soon. I feel like that’s going to be one of the first illusions we need to dispel going in.

K1-b0 what in the world do you think Shuichi’s going to do in here?

In painful, awkward silence.

AND OH SHIT, THAT’S IT! IT’S GO TIME, BABY!

And whoever it is.... is going to have a lot of explaining to do. I mean seriously, that’s the thing I’ve been wondering - a lot of the issues have been dependent on not knowing who is dead. How can they maintain that mystery during the trial? Monokuma isn’t going to break his own rule for this - attendance is mandatory!

WHELP -

If.... If this is going where I think this is going... 

Man, I know you and Shuichi weren’t as close as you and Kaito, but would you be willing to throw him away so easily? I guess it’s easier when you know there’s nothing left outside of this place, but...

With a murderous aura rolling off of her in waves, glowing blood-red eyes glittering under thick, dark bangs and venom lacing every word out of her mouth: “Don’t you see Shuichi? I am hope, personified.”

“U-Uh, um -”

“H O P E , P E R S O N I F I E D !”

YIKES...

“Collateral damage falls under the same big ‘hope’ umbrella tbh.”

Who knew that Kaito would be the one acting as a sober second thought. Kaitoooooo we need yooooou D:

SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU SO NERVOUS??? HOW MUCH DID YOU KNOW ABOUT KAITO’S PLANS WITH THE CROSSBOW???

Oh Tsumugi, you always know just what to say. 8′/

You are literally the only one with a peppy attitude right now, K1-b0! I guess robots really can’t read the mood

“Well, I mean, they may have, but the word ‘hope’ kept cropping up so I blocked it all out.”

Which means what, exactly? The world will still be reduced to ashes. There’s just a handful of you left. What is the point of victory now? 

Now that’s an interesting thought. Hope as a burden...

.... Aaaaw. Fair, but aaaw. :(

SMASHES that fourth wall like it’s no big thing

OMG they’re.... really not here?!?! Kokichi.... or Kaito???

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID EVERYONE HAD TO SHOW UP!!!

“Look, only I’m allowed to make grandiose speeches about despair and hope, okay? ONLY ME!!”

To think that after the last chapter’s events, Shuichi would be relying so strongly on his gut feeling, despite the evidence he collected pointing him in the opposite direction...

THEY’RE PURPLE? W... We’re really going in without knowing then?!

Alright, notes time!

Oh man, which section do I begin with. Important facts of the case? The basics? We don’t even have an established victim, so...

Alright, location. Top left of the sheet, just to start things off, I wrote down the three important areas: the exisal bay, the bathroom (and window), and the open area in the hallway. There were supplies taken from the two different labs, but the majority of the action happened in those places.

Suspects... well, ruling out Shuichi, there’s Himiko, Maki, Tsumugi, and K1-b0 - but there’s also Kokichi and Kaito, depending on who died! Man! That does throw things off quite a bit, doesn’t it?

Now for the victim... well. Okay. I divided them into two sections, each with a yes or no column.

Kaito Momota - Victim?

Yes

Shirt sleeve was visible from the press

He was sick/unwell - an easy target to kill, and on top of that -

If he died, he wouldn’t be considered a person by the press and would be crushed without a problem (aka a callback to the K1-b0 scene)

No

Shirt sleeve was conspicuous

He got confirmed help from the outside via crossbow, if not more

His illness he has nothing to lose - that could give him strength, and it could also push him to kill someone and become the blackened for the ‘greater good’. If he’s going to die anyway, why not?

Kokichi Ouma - Victim?

Yes

Can’t be found

Monokuma is back and the killing game with it

His clothes were hidden, a stark contrast to Kaito’s visible clothing in the press, and had bloodstains

The power cord was cut to hid the body’s identity, which is strange considering the shirt sleeve situation

No

He was in control of everything. How did he get overthrown?

Just like with Gonta, I’ve circled my decision... I think Kokichi may be dead after all. Shit.

Before I go on though, some more important evidence outside of the hangar include the exisals being powered down and Maki’s hammer being at the scene of where they were circling Monokuma and Himiko being spotted bringing a crossbow to Kaito. I really think this is all pointing to a rescue attempt being staged last night, without everyone’s knowledge!

Right, so to add onto the ‘Kokichi is probably the victim’ hypothesis, I need to establish that he isn’t the mastermind because a lot of the evidence hinges on that (aka Monokuma’s return and the killing game being back). Honestly, seeing the exisal formation around Monokuma really made me confident in that - it really just seemed like they were guarding him, not protecting. Actually, with that in mind, the real mastermind has a very strong reason to want him dead! They would definitely help with the escape/coup effort with that in mind!

So... if it went something like this...

Kaito hears about the escape plan from Shuichi. Fully convinced that Kokichi is the mastermind along with the others and suddenly with his own motivation to move as fast as he can because he doesn’t want the others to risk themselves against Kokichi and the exisals, he formulates his own plan. Maki visits him - he asks her to bring him a crossbow from her lab. Or... Himiko, maybe. Either way, a decision is made by either Kaito alone or Maki, if it’s through her, to have Himiko bring him the bag because Maki skulking around would immediately raise Kokichi’s suspicions.

I think the crossbow bolts were tinged with poison, though? Would that be with or without Kaito’s knowledge? I can see Maki maybe doing that without Kaito knowing - I don’t know if he would aim to kill, even if the crossbow to Kokichi’s back suggests otherwise. I’m sure his aim is pretty poor either way. Maki does seem very intent on ‘killing the mastermind’ and the fact that it’s Kokichi is almost convenient for her, honestly. Kaito certainly wouldn’t want her to kill again, but if she can do it through him she’d be able to kill Kokichi without giving Kaito a chance to stop her, as well as take on the responsibility for his death... I don’t know. I might need to workshop that. 8′D

Anyway, there was definitely a scuffle of some sort - that’s the only way they would both have wounds. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more tragic it’s all becoming - it’s really starting to seem like Kokichi was trying to stop the game in his own strange way, but couldn’t find a way to do it without building up this huge target on his back - and now, just when he’d managed to steal control of the whole thing, Kaito may have killed him while making the exact same mistake as Kaede...

Ah, right - so I think I’ve been waiting for this moment where Kaito gets pushed off the pedestal of hero, but I shouldn’t be surprised he would do it in a way where he would think he was doing the right thing before getting the rug pulled out underneath him - he would take on the role of the culprit, the embodiment of the ‘self-sacrificing hero’, and die thinking he saved everyone, or even worse, die knowing he fucked up in his attempts to be a hero for Maximum Despair. ffffff

Any last things... oh, no matter the situation with the poison, Maki was definitely involved in that. I’m sure she was the one who brought the antidote just in case Kaito got himself poisoned. I also think she was the most involved third party - I don’t think Kaito would have the strength to bring Kokichi to the press by himself, and I can see Maki tampering with all the evidence after the fact like the cord for the press and the marks on the panel outside. Maybe she did a lot of the work with one of the exisals? But in order for her to enter in the first place, she would have to have someone on the inside to open the shutter for her, and if Kaito had fought Kokichi by that point he’d be able to do it. It would explain why she’s acting so cagey right now - she’s covering for him! Though... if Monokuma is back, would she risk everyone dying to save him? Does she think he doesn’t have the power to enact the punishment if his controller is dead (even if they really aren’t?).

With that said... I still... think... Kaito is the culprit, despite Maki’s involvement. Maki seems desperate to help him survive this (pushing that Kaito’s the culprit, continuously bringing up Kokichi despite Monokuma being a functional AI), but Kaito knows there’s no time left for him, and the whole reason he took the role on of culprit in the first place was because he knew that. Is the reason he hasn’t shown up because he’s too weak to appear at this point? ooooh boy oh boy oh boy, this is... bad.... W-What are they going to do when they figure out Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind......

Anyway, man we’ll see how much is right and how much is wrong - will this be right on like my conclusion with Gonta, or tragically, hilariously wrong like my attempt at guessing Korekiyo’s motive? still better than the game’s

oh right but if Kaito is still alive this is still relevant

STOP DEATHFLAGGING KAITO 2018!!!!!

ps

that theme of every character taking at least one second distinct role/alias/persona continues - I had said Kaito was wearing both his actual role of ‘Ultimate Astronaut’ and as well as his proclaimed role as ‘Hero’, but I think ‘Culprit’ will work just fine here.... 8′(

[backwardabyss]

i’ve been free of the sh*rlock fandom for many blissful years now and i try not to like, write things on this useless blog of mine but i’ve seen more reactionary anger to the season four finale than i was expecting so i feel compelled to Share My Thoughts regardless of whether or not anyone wants to hear them. full disclosure: i am not a fan of j*hnlock or the conspiracy movement it has inspired so you may not want to read this if you are. 

i guess the major thing for me is.........confusion. shipping holmes/watson i wholeheartedly understand, of course, there’s a long and beautiful history of doing it and i’ve always adored the ambiguous queerness of the Canon’s holmes and how that’s been adapted or not adapted in the thousands of films/tv shows/pastiches/etc that have followed it. what i dont?? fucking understand??? is the people who genuinely thought it would become canon, on bbc sh*rlock (2010) OF ALL FUCKING THINGS????

i’m pretty damn far from being a “casual” viewer of the show, it was my primary fandom for several years and i was once-upon-a-midnight-fuckin-dreary completely consumed by my love for it. so as someone for whom that is true but who, unlike most fandom people for whom it is true, has not been sucked into the J*hnlock Meta Echo Chamber, i feel pretty confident in my assertion that there has been really very little in the series itself to suggest a romantic john/sh*rlock endgame. sure, their relationship is at the center of the show and they ofc have been shown to care for each other deeply and enduringly, as holmeses and watsons always do....and, sure, there are without question lines and moments that could be read as revealing a romantic undercurrent to their devotion to each other (particularly on sh*rlock’s end, i think). but that there was a legitimate conspiracy movement convinced beyond all shadow of a doubt that they were going to explicitly get bbc’s sh*rlock and john making out onscreen...i just do not get it, and do not see it, and yes i’ve read the metas, and no they did not convince me and i’m not entirely sure how they convinced anyone but whatever, it’s fine, that’s not the point.

like, for example, i keep seeing people shocked that after the ~EXPLICIT TEXTUAL GAYNESS~ of the lying detective they couldn’t believe the final problem would follow. and i’m just like??? huh? you mean, the hug? the one that happened in the context of a) john mourning his dead wife who he clearly loved very genuinely and b) john hearing sh*rlock receive a text from irene adler and urging him, quite explicitly, to go fuck her and telling him he’d be an idiot not to?? that explicit textual gayness?? WHAT? (i know the Conspiracy People have composed all these half-assed metas about how irene isn’t Really A Character and is just a mirror for sh*rlock or a symbol of his desire to bone john or something, but, lol no offense but fuck that misogynistic bullshit that treats every woman on the show as a literal empty signifier only sitting there to reflect something about sh*rlock and/or john. it’s just not a good reading or a valid interpretation and it’s so sexist i don’t even know where to start lmao. john genuinely wants sh*rlock to find the love of A Good Woman bc he is a hetero and well, the worst, and there was nothing about that scene that felt like a lead-up to the two men in it falling in love like ohhh my god. oh my god.)

and like ok, i got off course there, but how did ANYONE expect a different outcome after this interview, in which gatiss and moffat both told you all in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that they had no romance planned and in fact seemed incredibly miffed by the refusal to be believed when they said that?? gatiss literally says that there is no conspiracy and that even tho they lie about some things in interviews they are not lying about this. and look, i don’t want to defend them, i think the writers of this show are assholes and bigoted in ways they can’t see, but how anyone could accuse them of “baiting them into thinking j*hnlock would be endgame” when they’ve been saying it won’t be the case (often in unnecessarily rude and offensive terms) for literal YEARS??? i don’t get it. I REALLY DON’T. and no, gatiss doesn’t Owe you a holmes/watson relationship just because he’s a gay man himself lmao and when he’s expressed his feelings on the matter countless, countless times. you all chose not to believe him, for whatever reason, so i mean i’m sorry if some of you are hurting but i’m also feeling very congratulationsyouplayedyourself.jpeg about the whole thing.

which brings me to my last major point really, which is: WHY WOULD YOU WANT THESE HORRIBLE PEOPLE TO BE THE ONES TO DELIVER YOU YOUR QUEER REPRESENTATION?? moffat in particular is just, UGH, i mean, for fuck’s sake, the man wrote an adaptation of a scandal in bohemia where irene identified herself as a lesbian and yet, in the very same episode, fell in love with sh*rlock to such an all-consuming degree that she Lost Her Head and made a silly mistake in their game and got humiliated in defeat. like, what kind of lesbophobic, misogynistic fucking NONSENSE that btw completely deviates from the plot of the actual story in which she beats holmes’ ass and flees away into the night, victorious and safe. that’s the writer you thought was orchestrating a queer endgame for his beloved sh*rlock holmes???? that’s the writer you wanted orchestrating a queer endgame for his beloved sh*rlock holmes?? l o l....ok. that’s not even taking into account all the nasty things he’s said in interviews, like how sh*rlock is ofc not interested in men and ofc he’s not asexual bc asexual people are BORING, sh*rlock is just a latent straight man repressing his urge to bone women!! maybe he’ll marry mrs. hudson in the end tho!! lmao. i....cannot.

and i guess i’m also irritated by this guilting wave on my dash, like i’m obligated to feel sympathy for all these shippers who get duped, or whatever. like, look, even putting my personal feelings about the j*hnlock fandom aside (YOUR SMUG ASSES MADE THE FANDOM LIVES OF ALL RAREPAIR SHIPPERS HELL FOR YEARS, YOU ASSHOLES), after going through what, say, the 100 did to lexa, i’m just.....having a hard time feeling sympathy, i am sorry. oh, your two favorite characters get to live happily together raising a baby in 221b in a scenario that leaves them ripe and open for no end of headcanon and fic that can be totally canon-compliant? boooooo frickin hoooo. HEARTBREAKING. 

i realize this probably is like, rude and condescending and invalidating or whatever and well what can i tell u, i’m a rude bitch, but i am tiiiired of reading all these posts like this is the biggest slight against the lgbtqa+ community in media history. it’s not. yeah, you should all be expecting better from your media, for sure. but you should not have been expecting better from this shitpile of a show, which has proven its disregard for women, racial/ethnic minorities, and queer ppl for seasons upon seasons now. it’s 2017, and the tv landscape still isn’t great but there are so many shows out there with actual canonical lgbtqa+ characters that you can be looking to for the representation you want, deserve, etc. 

sh*rlock isn’t the queer love story you all wanted it to be, and if i’m not empathetic abt that it’s bc i’m SO DAMN RELIEVED that’s the case, bc it and most of the people involved in its production are hmm, what’s the word.....THE. DAMN. WORST.