#yeah I’m gonna make some fucked up comments about a character today

[clqoo]

cw: mentions of gr00ming, explicit situations w minors.

me vs reporting a pro shipper account because wtf

More below the cut

Just reported a proshipper account who was posting about obikin and talking abt Obi-wan taking all of minor Anakin’s firsts and it destroying him 😃😃😃😃 nah because wtf

[quiet-onset]

seeking refuge

pairing: carmen berzatto x reader

wc: 1.5k

summary: carmy is having a day, and you want him to get lost in you.

warnings: 18+ minors do not interact!!!, unprotected sex, overstimulation (character and reader)

a/n: is this realistic? probably not. but that's why it's fanfiction! i truly do not remember writing most of this, but i was looking through my wips to find something work on and came across this already finished fic from last year lol. enjoy!

He had the look in his eye. That look had him curling in on himself, shoulders slumped as his mind ran wild. Every once in a while, he’d get lost in his own thoughts, a complete mashup of all the anxiety-inducing shit he’d ever encountered. Money, renovations, Michael, don’t miss NA meeting, walk-in door handle, Ma, menu, run menu ideas by Sydney, Sugar, and oh shit, Sugar’s baby, right, I’m an uncle—

“Carm?”

Like some sort of psuedo-siren, your voice called him back to stable ground, away from troubled waters. Still, he was merely wading when his eyes focused on you. His lips pulled up in an anxious smile, the best he could give you at the moment. “Hey, sorry, hey. I’m here.” He said, nodding his head. Then, his brow furrowed, and he shook away the confusion. “Wait, what are you doin’ here?”

“Richie called, said you might need the rest of the day off.”

Carm rolled his eyes and stood from the office chair, stepping past you to yell at Richie from the doorway. “Cousin!”

“Uh-uh, you are not fuckin’ up my flow today, cousin. I’m in the zone. Take that anxiety bullshit elsewhere, heard?” Richie dismissed him before he could make his defense.

“Hey, fuck you.”

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you, too. See ya tomorrow.” Richie replied. “I need hands, chefs!”

You chuckled behind Carm, wrapping your arms around his waist. You pressed your cheek against his back and immediately felt some of the tension there roll away. “That training did a number on him.” You commented.

“Too smart for his own good now.” Carmen added.

You leaned up to press a soft kiss against his ear. “Come home, bear.”

It was only a matter of time after that. He’d explained the issue on the way home, or at least tried to. “I dunno, there’s just too many thoughts and not enough time or space. Feel like my brain’s gonna fuckin’ explode, just get lost in my goddamn mind.”

He almost pulled over and dragged you into the backseat at your reply. “Get lost in me instead.”

And he did. He managed to keep himself contained long enough to get home, but once there, he wasted no time. A mere fifteen minutes later, and he had you on your back, legs spread about his waist as his thick, hard cock stretched you open. You held on for dear life as your pussy clenched around him, wet and sticky with your arousal.

“Fuck, you feel good, baby. ‘S exactly what I needed.” He panted. “So fuckin’ wet.”

You could barely form the words to respond, hips canting up with each thrust, chasing the pleasure. Not that it mattered to Carmen, he was content with the sweet moans and whimpers that fell without pause from your lips. He adored the sounds you made and strove to pull them out of you as he pounded you into the mattress. He stopped for a brief moment when he felt your walls tighten, groaning deep in his chest. One hand gripped at the back of your thigh and pushed, spreading you wider. The other slid forward until his elbow was pressed against the mattress next to your head, and he buried his face in your neck.

“Gonna make me come ‘f you keep squeezin’ like that, baby.” His lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, his breath hot and wet against your skin.

“Can’t he-help it.” You whined prettily. “Feels good. Please don’t stop, gonna come.”

“Yeah? Gonna come on this dick?” His hand reached down to toy with your clit, eyes rolling to the back of his head when you cried out his name.

All you could do is nod, your moans getting louder as your orgasm approached. And then, pleasure so good, tears pricked at your eyes. Your back arched, your breasts pressed into his chest, you moaned his name. That white-hot bliss pulsed in every part of you, almost like it was being torn from you. Your cunt clamped around him, and you’re sure if you looked down, a ring of your arousal would coat the base of his cock.

Like all he needed was your pleasure, his finish hit him like a truck seconds later. An unending string of fuck, fuck, fuck as he pumped his come into you, the white, warm streams of him coating your walls. His balls pulsed hard as he gave you long, slow strokes, the head of his cock nearly kissing your cervix with one particularly deep thrust.

And even though his pace had slowed, his hips didn’t stop. The overstimulation was starting to set in, your stomach flipping deliciously at the continuous pleasure. Still, he was strangely quiet, so you wanted to make sure he was okay.

“C-Carmy,” You whimpered out. “You still with me, bear?”

You expected a pause, a wait, but the answer was immediate. “‘F course I am. Nowhere else I’d rather be. Goddamnit.”

“Carmen?”

“Gotta have you again.”

You didn’t have time to process his words before he was pulling out of you and flipping you over. He hastily grabbed a pillow and lifted your hips to slide it under. Even in the orgasmic-haze that fogged his brain, he wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Still-hard cock in hand, he stroked himself firmly as he kneeled behind you. His free hand gripped at the fullness of your ass, pulling lightly until he could see the mess he’d made of your pussy, a mixture of yours and his come dripping out of you. It might've drenched the pillowcase, but the thought hadn’t even passed Carmen’s mind. He just leaned over you until his nose was buried in your hair, pressing himself into your sweet cunt once more. You let out a loud moan of his name, your tight walls still fluttering post-orgasm.

“Didn’t want your legs to get sore.” He mumbled as he started fucking you again, slow and deep. “Shit, I need to keep goin'. Need to fill you up again.”

“‘S too good, oh my god.” You cried out. At this angle, the tip of his cock brushed against your g-spot with every thrust.

“Gonna let me keep goin’, right? Let me keep fuckin’ my cock into you, fillin’ your sweet little cunt with my come? Gonna let me get lost in you, pretty girl?”

On one hand, you weren’t sure where this Carmen came from. It wasn’t like he was silent during sex, but he never talked this much. Never this filthy. It was like his pleasure controlled him, the overstimulation working double-time to control his body and mind at once. With every word, his pace got faster, his thrusts deeper, inhibiting your ability to speak. 

It wasn’t made better when Carmen wrapped his arm around your neck, his bicep pressing lightly against your throat. A ragged gasp passed through your lips as he gave an experimental squeeze, timed perfectly with a deep thrust of his cock. He pressed his cheek against yours as you nodded eagerly, hoping the response would suffice.

“That’s it, baby, that’s fuckin’ it. So good to me all the goddamn time.” He groaned, hips bouncing off your ass with every thrust. “Pullin’ me out my head, makin’ me feel good. Perfect girl for me. Perfect girl with a perfect fuckin’ cunt, shit.”

He kept going and going and going, only relishing in a short rest each time. A setting sun and four orgasms later — five, for him — he was still burying his overstimulated cock in your overstimulated pussy. You were on your side now, facing him with your leg thrown over his hip. Each slow thrust of his dick and every pulse of your puffy cunt was laced with pain, but the pleasure was still there, too, making it hard to think. But for Carm, his mind was clear, the only thing left a vision of your sweaty face contorted with mind-numbing pleasure-pain.

One hand pulled you closer by your ass, the other brushing your hair off your sweaty forehead. “So pretty like this, baby. Could do this all fuckin’ day.”

“Carm, ‘s too much.” You gasped, eyes wide as you looked up at him. “Feels too good.”

He wiped a tear from your cheek, feeling his balls throb hard, almost painfully, as he plunged his cock deeper into you. “I know, I know. Just need another one, need to keep going till I’m fuckin’ empty. You can do that, right? You can take it.”

And sure, the overstimulation may have been clouding your judgment. But one look at his blue eyes, glazed over and needy, and you wanted to keep going. You wanted to lay there and let him take what he needed until he was spent, till all the anxious thoughts he ever had faded from memory. Your pussy tightened at the thought as you wondered how long it would take before he fucked his mind completely empty.

And just like that, he was coming again. Your sticky walls coaxed it out of him, pulsing around him until his hips stuttered. With the number of loads he’d already pumped into you, you couldn’t even feel the new warmth of his come. You only knew it was there when his cock pushed back inside, and come dribbled out of you and down your thigh.

And not a moment later, you were on your back again, and he was fucking you headfirst into your sixth orgasm. You and Carmen had a long night ahead of you. 

[stevie-petey]

episode two: trick or treat, freak

 “Why do you only ever care about me when I’m some kicked fucking puppy?” Steve’s words are vicious, and you flinch at his tone. “You know that’s not true,” “It’s not?” He scoffs at you. “Then explain what happened this summer.” “I…” You can’t.  Steve sees your reluctance to say anything and lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, whatever. Some real fucking friend you were.”

Summary: you and nancy have a bonding session in the library (kinda hot tbh), billy gives jonathan and steve a common cause to unite on: Protect Y/N, you're a chauffeur to a very sad steve harrington, and dustin uses will's trauma to his advantage.

Rating: general, slight cursing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, slight sexual harassment (billy corners reader and is gross), cursing, alcohol

Words: 7.9k

Before you swing in: hello ! new chapter, we've arrived at halloween !! i finally get to have a fun authors note comment: i crashed my car lol. i'm fine tho and i hope yall enjoy and like what ive done and changed a bit with this episode. i had fun coming up with costume ideas for the reader, i think the character fits her well :) and before i go: i start school next week, so updates will def be coming a bit slower after this. anyways, happy reading !

-

The Henderson house is pure chaos morning of Halloween. 

Dustin is running around the house, screaming about how his costume has to be absolutely perfect and that if you don’t hurry up with the jack-o-lantern pancakes then he’s going to just leave without eating breakfast. Meanwhile your mother is running after him, straightening his suit and tidying his hair. 

“The pancakes are almost done, my god.” You flip the last pancake, but in your rush the jack-o-lantern’s smile turns into more of a grimace, but hey, food is food. You quickly set Dustin’s plate down on the table and practically shove him into the seat. 

“Eat.”

“But my proton blaster–”

“Is on the steps, I’ll grab it. Eat, I want pictures with you.” You kiss the top of your brother’s head and then run over to grab his costume’s prop. 

“I’m thirteen now, I don’t need my sister doting on me–” Dustin complains, but then his eyes land on the mini Reese’s Pieces you’ve decorated his pancakes with and quickly changes his tone. “Oh! Candies! Yummy!”

You laugh at him and bring his backpack over. The Ghostbusters matching costume idea that boys have planned for today makes you want to just sweep them all into your arms and kiss their tiny little faces. They may be getting older with crushes and angsty feelings, but they’re still the same nerdy little boys you met when you were twelve. 

Dustin wolfs down his pancakes and your mom prepares her camera. You woke up earlier than usual this morning specifically so that you could make Dustin’s annual Halloween pancakes and then take pictures of him with his costume on. As soon as he’s done eating, you and your mom whisk him towards the fireplace for pictures. 

“Oh, I want to see those pearls!” Your mother squeals as she takes a million pictures of Dustin. When he smiles, she loses her mind. “Yeah! Lovely, I love it!”

You’re just as ecstatic as your mom. “Who you gonna call Dustin?”

“Ghostbusters!” He sings along, holding up his proton blaster with an even wider smile on his face. 

It’s a happy morning. 

Dustin puts on a show as he poses for your mom, and you even join in for some. Sure, you aren’t in costume, but who knows how many more mornings like these you have left? Dustin is getting older, all the boys are, so you plan on cherishing these mornings for as long as possible. 

You and Dustin are giggling as you now stand back to back, him holding his blaster and you holding up finger guns, and your mom is taking multiple final pictures when Jonathan arrives. He knocks on the door before letting himself in. When he sees you and Dustin posing, he starts loudly belting the Ghostbusters song. 

“God, bee. At least let my coffee kick in before you subject me to your horrible singing.” You playfully groan, grabbing your own backpack and pancakes to eat on the road. 

Jonathan ignores your teasing and ruffles Dustin’s hair. “Nice costume, bud.”

Dustin, seemingly still holding a grudge against the guy after your conversation from last night, slaps his hand away and glares at him. “Don’t mess up the hair.”

Your brother proceeds to stare Jonathan down, gives him an “I’m watching you” gesture, and then walks out the front door without any further words. You, Jonathan, and your mom all stand in the living room in varying states of emotions. You’re trying not to laugh at your brother’s antics, your mom is happily looking at the photos she took, and Jonathan is standing there in complete confusion. 

“What was that about?” He asks you, slightly hurt by Dustin’s rebuff. 

“Shhh,” you hand him a plate of pancakes and then walk towards the front door. “Let’s get to school, bee.”

– 

At school, the mullet guy from yesterday finds you at your locker as soon as Jonathan has walked away. The two of you had been running behind schedule, so you’d told Jonathan to head to first period so at least he’d be on time while you tried to find your history textbook. 

As you’re digging through your locker, the mullet guy stalks up behind you. 

“I never got your name,” he says with a breathy voice, standing way too close behind you. 

You straighten your back, but don’t turn around. You know that if you do, the guy will only get a kick out of having your face close to his. “You never asked.”

“So there’s some sass to you underneath all that sweetness.” His breath hits the back of your neck and you shiver, but in a way that makes you feel dirty and unclean. 

“What do you want?” You ask the guy, your fingers wrapping around the textbook that you’ve finally found. If needed, you’re sure it’ll make a handy weapon. It’s only you and the guy in the hallway. Everyone else has holed up in class and you’re now regretting sending Jonathan away. You feel trapped, vulnerable, and you hate it. 

Mullet man chuckles deeply, his voice reverberating against your back. “Nothing yet. Just thought I’d introduce myself to such a pretty face.” 

You don’t say anything, your fingers only tighten around your textbook. If he gets any closer, you’ll swing. 

Though you can’t see him, you can feel his eyes flicker to your textbook and he lets out another cruel laugh. “Loosen up, sweetheart, I won’t hurt ya.” You don’t move, and he seems to get another kick out of this. “My name is Billy. Remember that for me, alright?”

Finally Billy steps away from you and you slowly release all the tension that’s built up within you. You still don’t turn around, he hasn’t left yet, but your hands are shaking a bit and you feel unsteady. 

“Would you do me a favor, Billy?” Your voice is steady, there’s no trace of the fear within you.

“I’m listening,” Billy is practically purring and you want to gag at how much his cockiness oozes around you. 

You turn, now finally facing him, and slam your textbook against Billy’s chest. “Learn some fucking personal space.” 

Billy’s only reaction is a smile, which only makes you more uncomfortable, but you refuse to show him this. Instead, you square your shoulders and walk towards your first class. You’ve dealt with assholes in the past; you’ve known Steve Harrington since you were twelve. But Billy is different. 

You’re not sure if you want to find out just how different he is from Steve. 

– 

Another small highlight of your school year so far has been your study sessions in the library with Nancy resuming. The two of you had drifted apart this summer, you just rarely ever saw the girl in between your hectic work schedule and her dates with Steve, but from the first day of junior she’s helped you with your math equations and you’ve helped her with her English essays. 

It’s a good trade off and you’ve enjoyed spending time with the girl. Unlike last year, Jonathan doesn’t join anymore. He can’t be too close with her now that she’s back with Steve. So, it’s just you and her for an hour every day during study hall. It’s nice, if you’re being honest.

Today though there’s something off with Nancy. 

She’s been tapping her pencil on the table for the last few minutes. Right before you can politely ask her to stop, the tip of the pencil snaps in half. She sighs. “Shit,” 

“There’s a sharpener over by the window,” you point towards the general direction. “Sharpen your pencil before these equations officially end my life.”

Nancy laughs, excusing herself and walks over to the sharpener. 

You focus back on your homework, the equations swimming around in your brain. It’s not that you’re necessarily bad at math, but you’re no whiz at it either. You get lost in the practice problems, erasing and re-erasing frequently, and you don’t realize just how long Nancy has been gone until she returns. She sits down, and you’re about to make a horrible joke about how stupid it is to find x, when you notice how shaken Nancy looks. 

“Woah, hey.” You set your pencil down and turn your attention to Nancy. “Are you okay? You look upset.” 

Nancy looks towards one of the library’s private study rooms and you see Steve’s retreating figure. You gather that something’s happened between them, but it confuses you because they’ve been nothing but lovey dovey ever since they got back together. What could possibly cause strife between them? 

“C’mon, you can talk to me. I’m known for my fantastic advice.” You probe again, and this time Nancy lets out a soft chuckle. 

“It’s… complicated.” 

“Take all the time you need. I’ve been stuck on question five for like, twenty minutes now. Any distractions are welcomed.” 

Now Nancy lets out a genuine laugh and you find yourself laughing as well. The storminess behind her eyes from earlier has lessened, she looks more relaxed now. Once she’s done laughing, she takes a deep breath and starts from the beginning. “Steve and I have been having dinner with Barb’s parents.”

When Barb’s name leaves Nancy’s lips, you feel your stomach twist with guilt. Had you known this would be about Barb, you wouldn’t have pestered Nancy so much into speaking. You know how much she misses her best friend still, no one blames her. 

“Well that sounds nice,” you try to comfort. “I’m sure they appreciate your company.”

Nancy bites her lip and looks away from you. “They wouldn’t if they knew Steve and I killed Barb.”

Shock washes over you. “Can I ask for some context?”

“Steve and I… When I forced Barb to come to his stupid party with me, we–we left her alone that night. By the pool…” Nancy’s voice cracks, and you grab her hand to encourage her to keep going. “We went upstairs to have sex, and Barb–she didn’t want me to leave her alone but I–I did and–”

You remember the photos Jonathan took last year, specifically the one where Barb had been sitting all by herself along the pool’s edge. Behind her had been a shadowy figure, a monster you soon would learn was from an alternate dimension with an intent to kill. 

“You think Barb died because you left her alone to go have sex with Steve.” You finish for Nancy, her tears rendering her unable to say more. 

She nods, looking away again as more tears stream down her face. You feel horrible for her, knowing first hand just how cruelly guilt can eat away at someone. Jonathan doesn’t know this, but you still think you’re the reason Will disappeared last year. You were the one who left him alone that night. If you had been there, if you had dropped him off at the Byers’ doorstep, you’re sure that he would’ve never ended up facing the horrors that he did. 

As for Nancy, you understand everything she’s feeling and more. It isn’t fair how one simple choice, one moment of selfishness, can lead to such tragedy and pain. 

Cautiously, you ask Nancy a question. “Does Steve know about the guilt you feel?” 

“He knows, but he doesn’t understand.” Nancy’s voice laces with grief and bitterness. “He found me by the pencil sharpener. There was this girl, she looked so much like Barb and I just… I zoned out. I was stuck there, thinking about her, when he found me.” 

“Did he notice you were upset?”

“Of course he noticed. He’s Steve, I could shed a single tear and he’d be all over me like I’m some baby.” Nancy scoffs, which makes you frown. You’re not sure what’s so wrong with that, having someone so attuned to your emotions because they love you that deeply. 

You push aside your thoughts, however. “What happened, then?”

“We went into a study room and I snapped.” Nancy’s close to tears again. “I just… I want to tell Barb’s parents what really happened. They’re selling their house, Y/N. They’re selling their own home to afford this private detective who promised them he’d find out what happened to her. What–what kind of person would I be if I let my best friend’s parents go bankrupt for being worried about their only child?”

“Nancy…”

“And Steve, he just… He told me it was a bad idea, that–that our families could get hurt and all that bullshit, but what am I supposed to do? I’m trying to figure something out, to fix this, and Steve just wants to go to some stupid party and pretend everything is okay?” Nancy is almost shouting now, and you nervously look around to make sure you're not disturbing anyone. It’s still a library, after all.

Nancy takes a few seconds to collect herself, to steady her breathing and control her anger. You let her take all the time she needs, and when she seems calm enough, you speak. “I understand where you’re coming from and why you’re upset. What happened to Barb is despicable, but… Well, I also agree with Steve.” 

“Y/N–”

“No, okay. Listen for a second,” you pause, trying to figure out exactly how to say what you’re thinking. “I think Steve means well, he doesn’t have a malicious bone in that silly body. The Halloween party can be a good thing for you if you let it, a way to destress. You have to move on, you have to allow yourself to move on.”

Nancy tries to argue some more but you continue. “I understand your guilt better than anyone else, I was the one who lost Will that night. But we all signed those contracts, Nancy. If we told anyone what really happened to Barb… It wouldn’t be fair to everyone who gets hurt, all our family members, because we broke a legal oath. You understand that, right?”

“I understand, but it’s not fucking fair.” Nancy’s eyes have a determination in them that startles you. You’ve always known that she was fierce, but seeing the edge in her eyes almost scares you. She’s angry, more than you’ve ever seen her before. 

You sigh. “I know, I wish I could do more, but…”

Nancy nods, understanding that there’s not much else you guys can do. You hate to let her down like this, you know she needs to hear something else, to feel supported, but you don’t know what else to tell her. 

Steve’s right in his own way, and so is Nancy. 

“Can you at least come to the party tonight?” Nancy softly pleads. “It’s just, I’ll feel more comfortable with you there, like I’m less crazy… I mean, that is if you even want to come and–”

“Of course I’ll come, Nance.” You don’t even hesitate to promise her this, nor do you realize that you’ve just called her “Nance”. It slipped from your tongue naturally, as if solidifying your friendship with the girl. You hate parties and loud crowds, but if Nancy needs you there by her side, to hold her hand and remind her of how brave she is, then you’ll happily do so. 

Nancy sinks into her seat, relieved. “Thank you, I owe you one.”

“I’ll hold you to that, you know.”

Nancy throws a piece of paper at you and you dodge it, throwing your pencil at her in retaliation. The two of you break out into a fit of giggles until the librarian eventually snaps at you guys and reminds you to be quiet. 

You reluctantly get back to work, and as you’re writing down more complex equations, you notice that there’s still a far off look in Nancy’s eyes. You know that she’s still thinking about Barb, the guilt eating away at her, and you know that the topic is far from settled.

–  

Halloween has arrived when Jonathan drops you off at home from school. There’s already kids milling around up and down your block in an assortment of costumes, all squealing with joy as they collect their candy. 

“Meet you in two hours?” You ask Jonathan as you unbuckle your seatbelt. 

“Yeah, but remember that I’m not wearing a costume.”

“C’mon, bee! It’s Halloween, where’s your holiday spirit?”

Jonathan groans. “Nag at me all you want, I’m not dressing up. I will, however, offer to be your arm candy.” 

“That’s the spirit!” You kiss Jonathan’s cheek and run out of the car and straight into your house. You have two hours to wrap up goodie bags for the neighborhood kids and then get dressed in your costume. It’ll be a tight schedule, but luckily you’re off of work tonight. 

It takes you about an hour to assort all your gift bags, separating the boys’ bags from the local kids’ bags, and before you know it you’ve successfully hand packaged goodie bags for an entire army. Once you’re done, you run to your room and throw on your costume. The dress slips over your head and settles gently over you.

You stand in front of your mirror and smile. 

It’s perfect. 

You’re going as Princess Buttercup tonight for Halloween. You read the Princess Bride around the end of summer and quickly fell in love with Buttercup. You’re not sure if you fell in love with the character because you read the book right after pushing Steve away, or because you saw yourself in Buttercup, but you came to adore her. 

Buttercup may have been a bit ditzy, but she loved with everything within her, and with such a passion, that you couldn’t help but admire her. It was her love for others that ultimately drove the story further, and you think there’s something beautiful about that. 

The red dress fits perfectly around you and you grab the gold chain that will serve as your belt. Once you’ve secured it around yourself, you place Buttercup’s golden circlet around your head. The costume had been pricier than you would’ve preferred, but as you stand in front of the mirror, you truly do feel like a princess. 

Your bee necklace, a wonderful gift from Jonathan, catches light from your window and you smile, bringing your fingers up to the pendant. It’s the only jewelry you need.

“Y/N! Are you almost done? Will radioed that they’d be here soon.” Dustin pounds on your door. 

You fling the door open. “I’m done, I just need to put on some makeup.”

Your brother makes a face as he walks into your room and plops himself down onto the beanbag. “You own makeup?”

“Yes, dear brother. I’d wear it more often if I had the time, but between herding you around and my school assignments, I can’t.” You dig through your makeup bag, opting for just mascara and a shimmery pearl eyeshadow. You’ll put on your lipstick in the car to save some time. 

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Jonathan, does it?”

You roll your eyes at Dustin. “No, believe it or not I can choose to do things without the influence of others.”

“Hmm, alright. Hurry up though, Mike had this awesome plan to hit up every house with the big candy bars and–”

“Dustin!” You throw a pillow at the boy, shutting him up. “Shush so I can focus.”

He grumbles but remains silent, now watching as you put your makeup on. It’s been a while since you’ve last worn any, so you’re slower than usual. Just as you’re finishing up your mascara, a car honks outside. 

Dustin runs out the room and you quickly grab your lipstick and follow after him. You’re wearing your mother’s mary janes again and they pinch your feet as you run, but whatever. You feel pretty tonight, you’re somebody else for now, a princess free from any burdens and stress. 

Jonathan is standing outside his car, waiting for you, and when you see him you practically fling yourself in his arms. “You dressed as Westley!”

He spins you around a bit, his plastic sword hitting against his leg. “You wanted me to wear a costume, right?”

You nod, inspecting his costume with glee. He looks amazing, dressed in Westley’s iconic all black attire, his sword by his side, and a mask tied loosely around his neck. To anyone else, Jonathan would look like a regular guy with an affinity for black, but to you, he was dressed as your knight in shining armor. 

He’s the Westley to your Princess Buttercup. 

Jonathan kisses your knuckles. “Well then, as you wish.”

His words are smooth velvet against your skin, they warm you as the late October air encases you. As you wish, words that became their own I love you within the book. A promise, similar to the one Jonathan made you last year in the passenger seat of his car, pinkies intertwined. 

Something stirs within you, seeing Jonathan’s proud smirk on his face because he’s once again managed to surprise you, and the feeling is sickly sweet like syrup. It runs through you slowly, covering every inch of you, and you bask in it.

For now, he’s still yours. 

“Can we go now? You guys are gross.” Dustin calls from the car, annoyed. 

You and Jonathan spring apart in embarrassment. He laughs, rubs the back of his neck, and tells you, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Why thank you,” you curtsy. “You look rather dashing yourself, good sir.”

“I wasn’t kidding. You look… you’re beautiful.” The sincerity in Jonathan’s voice cuts through you, it cuts through everything between you, and you can only smile. 

“Thanks, bee.” You try to keep your voice playful, light and airy as always. “Now, open my door like the brave hero you’re dressed as.” 

Jonathan opens your door with a bow, causing you to laugh. You’re sitting in the backseat with Dustin, Will is in the passenger seat, and once you’ve buckled up, Will spins around in his seat to talk to you as Jonathan starts the car.

“Do you think it’s lame that you and Jonathan trick-or-treat with us?

You blink. “What did I miss?”

“I think it’s kinda lame,” Dustin voices next to you, but he lets out a pained squeak after you’ve elbowed his ribs. 

Jonathan turns onto the main road and scoffs at the boys. “You think we’re lame?”

“No, but…” Will sinks into his seat, and you watch as he begins to fiddle with the strap of his bag. He’s nervous. “It’s not like Nancy’s coming to watch over Mike, you know?”

Jonathan’s silent, and you catch his eye in the rear view mirror. You know what he’s thinking: Will has been having even more problems in school, he’s sick of being babied, and yet here you guys are, babying him. 

You sigh. “Look, Will. We like trick-or-treating with you guys, we don’t go are your babysitters. We go because it’s fun and I get to enjoy free candy as a sixteen year old.” 

Will looks out the window and doesn’t acknowledge what you’ve said. You sigh again, knowing that nothing will appease him. He’s only allowed you to see a small portion of how much he’s struggled this year, but you can see his foundations crumbling. 

How is he expected to adapt if you and everyone around him refuse to let him do so?

You catch Jonathan’s eye again in the rear view mirror and he seems to be thinking the same thing. 

Mike and Lucas run out the Wheeler’s house as soon as you guys park in the driveway. Dustin immediately bolts out the door to greet them, obviously uncomfortable with all the tension, leaving you and Jonathan with Will.

Jonathan looks at you one last time and you nod your head in encouragement. He has to do this, he has to let Will grow on his own. 

“Hey, listen.” Jonathan says, stopping Will from leaving. “If I let you go on your own, you promise to stay in the neighborhood?”

Will’s face lights up. “Yeah! Yeah, totally.”

“And be back at Mike’s by 9:00.”

“9:30?”

You reach over and pat Will’s back. “Now you’re pushin’ it, buddy.”

“What Y/N said. Be back by 9:00.” Jonathan instructs, but there’s a fond smile on his face. “Deal?”

“Deal!”

The brothers shake on it and you watch them with a smile. Jonathan hands Will one of Bob’s cameras and makes a poor Dracula joke and you love these boys so much. You wave goodbye to Will as he quickly gets out of the car and runs over to his friends. There’s a new skip in his step, he’s happier than you’ve seen him in a while.

“Alright,” you crawl over the passenger seat and plop yourself in rather ungracefully. “I’d say that went well.”

“We made the right choice, right?”

“I hope so.”

Jonathan sighs and watches the kids, who have now started hitting each other with their candy bags. You flip down the windscreen and use the small mirror in it to apply your lipstick. When Jonathan sees what you’re doing, he does a double take.

“Wait, are you putting on lipstick?”

“Mhm,” you knit your brows together, focused. “We’re going to a party.”

“We are?”

“Nancy begged me to come, and we just left the boys to go trick-or-treating on their own, so what else are we supposed to do tonight?”

“Nancy begged you to come–”

You finish your lipstick and flick Jonathan’s nose to shut him up. “Stop asking so many questions and just start the car, doofus.”

– 

The Halloween party is in full swing by the time you and Jonathan arrive. There’s a bunch of drunk teens in an array of costumes, ranging from classic heroes to dumb movie references, and the music is so loud you could hear it while you were still five blocks away. 

Jonathan parks the car and looks around wearily. “Are we really doing this?”

“Unfortunately I hate disappointing people, so yeah. We are.”

“One day your people pleasing needs will get you in trouble.”

“I will stab you with your plastic sword.”

“So sweet to me,” Jonathan quips, which you roll your eyes at. 

As you’re walking to the front door, you hear a crowd chanting Billy’s name. You freeze, knowing it could only be that awful mullet guy from earlier, and quickly shove Jonathan inside the house. 

“Who’s Billy?” He asks, confused.

You shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, let’s try to find Nancy–”

“Nice costume.” A girl dressed in goth attire interrupts you, her eyes only on Jonathan. 

Oh great. Another girl interested in Jonathan. 

Jonathan looks between you and the girl. “Huh?” 

“Nice costume. Going as a goth with a sword?”

“Actually,” you step in front of Jonathan now, forcing the girl to acknowledge your presence. “We’re matching. He’s Westley, I’m Princess Buttercup. Do you like it?”

The goth girl rolls her eyes. “Yeah, totally.” She steps past you and faces Jonathan again. “I’m Samantha.”

Jonathan is again looking between you and the girl, this time with even more fear and confusion on his face, and you almost want to laugh at him in pity. He’s never had a girl so blatantly hit on him, it’s almost hilarious if you ignore the fact that you’re in love with him. 

You leave Jonathan to handle the situation himself, scanning the room for Nancy. When you finally spot her, your heart sinks. She’s dancing with Steve, who looks fucking criminally good in his costume. You’re not sure who he’s dressed as, but he puts his Raybans in his mouth and smirks at Nancy and suddenly you understand why so many girls whisper in the halls about his lips. 

Nancy looks even better, her white blouse accentuating her beauty even more. She’s dancing with her arms around Steve and now you suddenly really want a drink. Seems like they’ve made up, then. 

Right as you’re about to pull Jonathan away from that Samantha girl and call it quits for the night, defeated and pride wounded, you see Steve and Nancy begin to argue over by the punchbowl.

Shit. 

You head towards them, shoving past hoards of people who seem to refuse to move. Nancy sees you approaching and only seems to become more upset. Her movement is unsteady, her eyes droopy and glossed over, and even before you walk up to her you know she’s heavily drunk. She’s in a tug of war with Steve and a cup. It’s clear he’s trying to cut off her alcohol intake.

“Hey, Nancy is everything okay–” Your words are cut off as punch splashes all over her white blouse.

Everyone around the couple gasps, and you wince at all the attention. Everyone stares between you, Steve, and Nancy. You quickly find some napkins and begin blotting at her blouse, trying to get as much of the punch out of it, but she drunkenly bats you away. 

“Don’t need help,” she slurs, but you shush her. 

“I got it, why don’t we go get some water?”

Steve steps in front of you now, aware of the fact that everyone is still staring, and says his first words to you in months. “She’s my girlfriend, I’ll take care of her. Just… just go, Y/N.” 

He dismisses you with a wave and you feel hurt wash over you. He hadn’t even spared you a single glance, he just treated you like some annoying fly in his way. You watch, defeated, as Steve guides Nancy to a room and you’re left alone at a party you hadn’t even wanted to go to in the first place. 

How fun. 

You crumble up one of the napkins in your hand and will away your anger. You don’t deserve to feel angry at Steve’s actions, you’re the one who was so dismissive of him in the first place. He’s just following along, doing what you’ve forced him to do. 

As you’re lost in thought, Billy corners you in the kitchen.

“We meet again, sweetheart.” His breath reeks of alcohol and you cringe, the smell burning your nose. 

“Didn’t I tell you to learn some goddamn personal space?” 

Billy laughs dryly, stepping forward every time you take a step back. Too late, you realize what he’s doing. Before you can stop it, he has your back pressed against a nearby wall. “Now where’s the fun in that?”

You look around, but everyone who had been in the kitchen earlier seems to have left or are far too drunk to realize what’s happening. Billy is peering over you and every part of you wants to run away, to cower. You’ve never been able to handle aggressive men well, no matter how much of a front you put on around Lonnie, you always trembled when he was near. 

Billy is no different, and he sees your unease. “Aw, is the princess nervous?”

“I’m surprised Max taught you what a princess looks like.”

At the mention of Max’s name, Billy’s cocky grin slips. Confusion masks his face now, making him appear more human than obnoxiously handsome. “So you know my little sister?”

You try to shove past him, but Billy plants his feet down and places both arms against the wall, trapping you. He’s surrounded you, he wants a reaction out of you. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to steady your heartbeat and appear indifferent. 

“I have my ways,” you shrug, but your heartbeat still pounds rapidly. 

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Pretty and intelligent. Why, look at you. I’m impressed, and yet I still don’t know your name.”

You try again to move, but Billy leans his head down and brings his lips to your ear to whisper, “I’ll beg for it, if you want me to.”

“Get off–” He’s too close. He’s too fucking close and his lips against your ear makes you want to throw up, you don’t like this and you feel so fucking pathetic being cornered by such an egotistical asshole. 

“Tell me your name, and I’ll go.” There’s a smile in Billy’s voice, you can hear it without even having to look, and it enrages you. You fucking hate men like him. 

“Just get the fuck off of me–” You’ve closed your eyes now as you shove harshly against his chest.

Suddenly there’s a thud, a loud “oomph”, and a collective gasp from onlookers at the party. Your hands meet the air, there’s now no one there to push against. Slowly, open your eyes. There, standing in front of you, is Steve holding a very angry Jonathan back while Billy is on the ground.

Jonathan yanks his arm free from Steve and stands over Billy, who is laying on the ground with yet another unnerving smile on his face. Your friend shakes his fist out, which you now see is red, Billy’s face showcases a matching mark. “She told you to get off of her.” 

A silence falls over the crowd.

Billy slowly stands up, wipes himself off, and then takes a bow. “Not bad, loner boy.”

Jonathan tries to step closer to him, but Steve grabs his shirt and shakes his head. “He’s not worth it, man.” 

“And what do you know about worth, Harrington?” Billy chuckles, now practically in Steve’s face. “Where’s that little girlfriend of yours? You should go ask her what she thinks you’re worth.” 

Steve’s face hardens, but you can see dried tears in his eyes. Seeing him about to crumble, you step between the boys. “Enough.”

They look at you, but you ignore them and then wave to the crowd of people still watching. “Show’s over! Go back to drinking away your sorry fucking lives.”

Jonathan pulls you close to him. “Bug, are you okay? Did he hurt you? We need to go home, I’ll bake you brownies and we can just–”

Jonathan’s concerned rambling is enough to make you smile, albeit faintly. “I’m fine, bee.”

Billy observes the interaction, he notices how Steve’s eyes flicker between your interlocked hands with Jonathan and the way your hair frames your pretty face. He sees it all, and he understands exactly what’s happening here. 

“Oh, Harrington.” Billy can’t wait to see what happens next. “You’re fucked.”

Steve watches as Billy leaves, confused by his words but too tired to think much of them. He’s had the worst fucking night of his life. His girlfriend just told him she doesn’t love him, then he came outside to see Billy pressing himself against you like some fucking creep. He hadn’t even gotten to help you, Jonathan had beaten him to it. All Steve could do was hold the guy back afterwards. 

Now Jonathan is holding your hands and whispering comforting words to you and you’re dressed in Steve’s favorite color, your lips an even prettier red, you’re wearing a goddamn tiara on your head like the princess you truly are, and Steve’s had just about enough of tonight. 

“I’m glad you’re okay, Y/N.” Steve tells you tiredly. He then turns to Jonathan. “Uh, Nance and I sorta… Can you just, give her a ride home? She doesn’t…”

Steve’s words catch in his throat and you grab his hand before you can stop yourself. “He’ll take her, won’t you, Jonathan?”

Jonathan stumbles over his words. “Sure, uh. Yeah, I can do that… What about you, though?”

You think about your conversation with Nancy earlier, how she seemed so upset with Steve, and how not even ten minutes ago they’d been fighting over by the punchbowl. There’s a hurt between them, one you think may be too big to patch up with just one conversation, but Jonathan doesn’t know all of this. 

“I’ll drive Steve home.”

Both boys stare at you like you’re insane, and honestly? You can’t blame them. 

You haven’t spoken to Steve in months, and Jonathan knows this better than anyone. 

“Y/N,” Steve lowers his voice. “I haven’t had anything to drink, there’s no need–”

“Too bad. I’m taking you home. Jonathan, go find Nancy and make sure she gets back okay.”

Jonathan and Steve try to argue, but you yank Steve’s hand and make him come with you. It’s long past time the two of you had a talk, anyways.

– 

When you exit the house, the weight of everything that’s just happened catches up to you. Your skin still feels raw, Billy’s presence lingering on you. Steve’s hand is warm in yours, but he isn’t holding on the way you secretly hoped he would. Jonathan’s confused and concerned eyes remain in the back of your mind, the image of him standing alone in the party makes you feel guilty. 

But you have to do this. You’re tired of being a coward.

Steve is silent as he guides you to his car. He’s parked pretty far, which you hadn’t been expecting. “What, do you not get a special parking spot as King Steve?”

He ignores your attempt at a joke and instead drops your hand. 

Okay. You deserved that. 

When you get to his car, Steve throws you the keys and silently gets into the passenger seat. You inhale, willing this to end well, and get in the driver’s seat. You start the car and the engine warms your fingertips. 

You start to drive. 

Steve is looking out the window, and you’ve never seen him appear so small. He’s closed into himself, his shoulders are hunched and his carefree smile from earlier is gone. 

“Not to make this awkward, but I kinda don’t know where you live.” You break the silence.

“Make a left up here.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened tonight–”

“Why do you only ever care about me when I’m some kicked fucking puppy?”

Steve’s words are vicious, and you flinch at his tone. “You know that’s not true,”

“It’s not?” He scoffs at you. “Then explain what happened this summer.”

“I…” You can’t. 

Steve sees your reluctance to say anything and lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, whatever. Some real fucking friend you were.”

You take a shaky breath. You knew this would be hard, but it still hurts more than you thought it would’ve. While you can’t tell Steve everything, you can offer him a half truth. It’s all you can afford, and it isn’t nearly half of what he deserves, but it’s all you can do. “I got scared.”

Your confession causes Steve to turn to you. “Scared?”

“Yeah, scared.”

“Gee, Y/N. That really explains a ton.”

You’re losing him again, so you offer him more. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really am. It’s just… I got scared, I’ve never been good at letting people in. I know it doesn’t excuse my actions, and you didn’t deserve any of it, but you just… You scared me.”

Steve is silent again, only mumbling a quiet, “Turn right after this light.”

“Look,” you push down your fear, you need him to hear you. “You came crashing into my life in such a violent way, and it became the best goddamn thing that happened to me. There you were, spending every day at my job just to talk to me. You asked me questions about myself and noticed things no one else had before and I just… I couldn’t do it.”

You look over at Steve and soften your voice, putting every ounce of your guilt and sincerity into your words. “I missed you.”

“Missed?” There’s something in Steve’s voice that you can’t quite decipher, it’s almost too delicate to examine. 

“Miss. I miss you,” you correct, and it takes everything within you not to confess more. To tell him you miss how his eyes turn a warm toffee in the late afternoon light, that you miss his obsession with his mom’s banana bread and that you have a recipe at home that you never got to make for him. You almost tell him that even though you pulled yourself away, you can’t seem to separate him from you. He’s everywhere. 

But what you can’t tell Steve, what would break you if he ever found out, is that you’ve come to love how he’s everywhere.

Steve is silent, and you swallow down your tears. It wasn’t enough, but at least you tried. 

As you turn into his driveway, Steve finally speaks. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was for people to like me.”

“Steve…”

“And every time I think someone finally likes me, I’m wrong. They leave me. I mean, you left me without a fucking word, Nancy lied about loving me, and my bullshit friends at school have replaced me with Billy.” 

Nancy lied about loving him?

Steve looks down at his hands, his eyelashes are wet with fresh tears. “I don’t know what I keep doing wrong.” 

You throw yourself across the car’s console and wrap yourself around the boy. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Steve places one arm around you, then slowly he places his other, and for the first time in months you’re finally back in his arms. He’s surrounded in you again, and he never, ever wants to let you go. 

“You won’t leave me again?”

Steve asks this so softly, as if too scared to bring the words into the light and risk them scaring you away. You tighten your arms around him and bury your nose into his neck, his cologne making your brain dizzy. “Never. 

And it’s enough for now. 

The pieces settle between you and Steve. Something clicks into place and you know that he feels it, too. He tightens his own arms around you, draws small circles against your back, and you stay like that for what feels like hours. 

Eventually the two of you break apart and head into his house. He offers you something warm to drink, but you decline. It’s late, you should be heading home soon. You ask Steve where his phone is and then call Jonathan, telling him to come get you from Steve’s.

Jonathan doesn’t ask any questions, his own voice sounding off on the phone. You know that tomorrow you’ll have to explain to him what happened with Steve, and he’ll have to explain what’s happened with Nancy. But tonight, you both settle on ignoring the topic for now. 

Steve waits with you downstairs for Jonathan. 

“If we’re going to be friends again, then I demand my nickname.” 

You look up at the boy and laugh. “What if I told you I still haven’t figured it out yet?”

“Can you at least give me a hint?” Steve bats his eyelashes at you and you shove him away with another laugh.

“Hm,” you think for a moment, reveling in the simplicity between you two again. “It’s lovely. That’s all I can say.”

Steve makes a face. “Lovely? That’s all I get?”

“Mhm.” You poke his face. “For now, please just trust that I’ll stay.”

Steve looks away for a moment, and you admire his lovely side profile, before he finally seems to settle on his thoughts. “Fine, but I expect some type of baked good every day from here on out.”

“Deal.” You raise your pinky and offer it to Steve, who smiles and shakes his head, but wraps his own pinky around yours.

Steve’s eyes are still red, from exhaustion and heartbreak, and yours are probably no better. You know there’s so much the two of you have to face tomorrow morning, to talk about and deal with. Nancy, Jonathan, Billy. But for now, Steve’s pinky is around yours and you couldn’t ask for a better end to your night. 

It’s a start.

It’s all you could’ve asked for. 

Jonathan arrives later and waits in the car, seeming to sense that you want some privacy as you say goodbye to Steve. 

“That’s my ride.” You nudge him. “Oh, don’t think I forgot about the Nancy thing. We’ll talk about that tomorrow.”

“What–”

“We’re friends again and I nag all my friends about their emotions. You were spared last year, but this year? Buckle up, buddy.”

Steve lets out a tired laugh. “Do I have to sign another contract?”

“Nah, you just have to trust me.”

“I do.” He says, no ounce of hesitation. 

You squeeze his hand. “Then that’s all I need. Goodnight, Steve. Get some rest.”

Steve nods and watches as you walk towards Jonathan’s car. He stays outside for a while, long after the car has faded in the distance. The cold air makes him shiver, but after everything that’s happened tonight, he welcomes it. His mind is spinning, he’s not sure if he feels more heartbreak or relief, but he decides he doesn’t care. 

For now, he’s content. 

Now that he has you in his life again, no matter what happens between him and Nancy, he knows he’ll get through it with you holding his hand. 

– 

The drive home is quiet. Both you and Jonathan seem to be lost in your own thoughts. When you get to your house, you simply tell your friend, “Tomorrow. We’ll talk about it all tomorrow,”

Jonathan nods, his eyes as tired as yours. “Tomorrow.”

You walk inside your house and notice all the lights off. You’re home later than you originally planned, your mom must be asleep already. You kick off your shoes and sigh tiredly. Tonight has exhausted you. 

However, you feel bad about skipping out on the boys, so you walk towards Dustin’s room and quietly knock on the door to apologize. After a few knocks, Dustin cracks his door open. “Yes?”

“Hey, just wanted to ask how tonight…” You notice Dustin’s stance, how he seems to almost be trying to block your view of something. “Is everything alright?”

Your brother quickly repositions himself. “Fine! Nothin’ to see here!”

He’s definitely acting suspicious. 

“Open the door, show me what’s inside.”

You go to shove your way in, but Dustin scrambles and ends up shouting, “Will had another episode tonight!

“What?” You freeze. 

Dustin lets out a breath of relief. He knew using Will’s episode would be a good distraction from what he has in his room. “Will, he had another episode. He’s fine, though… Just thought you should know.”

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Actually,” Dustin lets out a yawn. “I’m kinda tired. Ya know, trick-or-treating is hard work. Can we just call it a night and talk about it tomorrow?”

“I mean, I guess?” Your list of things you need to talk about tomorrow keeps growing. 

“Sweet! Goodnight, Y/N!” And with that, Dustin slams his door in your face. He presses his back pressed against his door as he steadies his heartbeat. That was close, too close. After a couple seconds, he walks over to his turtle’s tank and greets Dart again. “Sorry buddy, had to get Y/N away. She’d freak if she found out about you.”

Dart lets out a small screech in response. 

“Wonder how long I can keep this from her.”

Meanwhile, you stand in the hall for a moment, completely bewildered as to what’s just happened. It feels like you missed a few important details. There’s something happening, but you have no idea what.

You go to your room and make a plan. Tomorrow, you’ll order a code blue with Dustin and demand information. For now, all you can do is get ready for bed and hope that whatever he’s hiding, it isn’t as monumental as El had been. 

Tonight, you go to bed thinking of Nancy and Steve, worried about them both.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[seastarblue]

Incorrect Quotes Tag!

thanks for the tag, @ominous-feychild !

Rules are to use this generator with your characters!

Last time I did the cast of AGGTRH, so today… Interwoven!

Very Long so under the cut!

———

Kaiden: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.  Felix: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

~~~

Li Hua: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

~~~

Harper, watching Noha: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Noha, so demure…  Harper: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes?  Noha: *screaming*

~~~

Felix: This is a safety pin.  *cuts off end*  Felix: It is now a danger pin.

~~~

Evangeline: But that place is haunted.  Noha: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!  Evangeline, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

~~~

Kaiden: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?  Harper: wHat?  Kaiden: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.  Harper: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

~~~

Felix: Guess what number I’m thinking of.  Mehri: 420?  Felix: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.  Li Hua: 69.  Felix: Yeah it was 69.

~~~

Mehri, texting Harper: Harper there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?  Mehri: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry  Mehri: Harper  Mehri: Harper  Harper: Harper is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

~~~

Kaiden, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

~~~

Kaiden: Hold the fuck up.  Felix: Excuse me?  Kaiden: I said hold the fuck up.  Felix: Kaiden: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

~~~ Kaiden, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The plot, please.  Lloyd, reading an annotation on the cover of a book, unfazed: A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New York Times Bestseller.  Lloyd, now looking directly at Kaiden: Go fuck yourself.

~~~

Harper: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*  Harper: Oh my god, is this expired?  Harper: *Takes another sip of milk*

~~~

Lloyd: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

~~~

Kaiden: *casually taking four stairs at a time*  Evangeline, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

~~~

Lloyd: You’re alive.  Kaiden: No need to sound so disappointed.

~~~

Aleksi: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it.  Noha: Aleksi, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Felix?

~~~

Li Hua: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

———

no comment these are all canon 😌

Tag Game List! Lemme know if you’d like on/off <3

no pressure ofc:

@sableglass @dioles-writes @ash-thedrawer @allaboutmagic @paeliae-occasionally

@astor-and-the-endless-ink @vsnotresponding @nightlylaments @glbettwrites

@thebookishkiwi @verdant-mainframe @threedaysgross @fifis-corner @bamber344

and as always, open tag!

[aurorawritestoescape]

A Villain’s Monologue

Pairing: serial killer!Joel Miller x f!reader

18+ DEAD DOVE!!! Heed the warnings!

Tw: dead dove, non-con, allusions to smut, mentions of SA, mentions of death, bondage, gagging, swearing

Word count: 650

A/n: if you’re sensitive to any of the warnings, do not read the fic! I don’t condone the actions of the character. It is all fictional!

——————————————————————————

Silly girl… You really thought you’d be the one to get me? Have some balls on you; I’ll give you that. Sneakin’ into my home like that... snoopin’ around. What were you tryin’ to find, Nancy Drew? Some kind of evidence—an earring, a set of teeth?? Haha... I’d never keep anythin’ like that. I’m not dumb! Been doing it for what now? Hmm, 7 years? Haven’t been caught. Not even suspected…

Oh! A cop came over once to ask about that girl. What was her name? Melissa, Melody? Fuck it, doesn’t matter. Real pretty, gave it to her good. She was beggin’ me to fuck her. Yeah, choke me, daddy! She’d been enjoying herself, for sure. Well… until…

And that cop...See, I’m Joel fuckin’ Miller! A single dad, thanks to that bitch! A workin’ man, always charmin’, nice. I showed all my concern! No, officer, I haven’t seen her around. Yes, of course I’ll join the search party. Damn it was fun being the only one to know we’d never find her in those woods.

And you, baby. Ugh! How long have you been suspecting me? Sorry, forgot you’re gagged. I bet it’s since that night. Did you hear her scream? Right? Nod if I’m right, slut?! Yeah, that bitch was loud. It’s a pity you couldn’t just forget about it. Look the other way. Began stalking me, got so fuckin’ close! I’m the one who stalks, sweetheart.

Remember that night when I caught you in the alley behind the bar. Were you followin’ me and that chick? Did you think I was gonna…? Nah, she had similar hair to Her, but… somethin’ was off. Lost interest. But you! Fuck, you were hot. Scared shitless. Did you think I was gonna kill you? Strangle, like all of them? No. You look nothing like her. You were safe. Well…woulda been safe if you hadn’t begun your sleuthin’.

A pity, really. Been such a good playthin' for daddy. That first time. Your heart was beatin’ so fast, like a little bird’s, flutterin’ under my fingers. Felt it when I was gropin’ your tits. Hell, I love ‘em. Look at you! Tied up and helpless. Want me to play with your tits? If I just slide my dick between them like this, shhh! Sit still! I’m sure I could come just fuckin' your boobs, sweetheart. My cum on your beautiful face. Here. I’ll make you eat it all up, every drop. Shhh, stop flinchin’! Don’t be shy on me all of a sudden.

You’re such a slut. Came all over my cock in that dark alley. Your neighbour, your dad’s friend, made you moan like a filthy whore. Still can see my cock slidin’ in and out of your tight cunt. Ah, the sounds! Fuck, you were so wet. You bitches are always so wet for me.

But you just had to go and ruin all of it. Have you been snoopin’ around for a long time? Since you started comin’ here, so I’d fuck you? Began noticing it. You’d ask hella weird questions. What do you have in the basement, Joel? Where do you go after work, Joel? Haha. Cute. I thought, "Well, even if you suspect somethin’. You have nothin’ on me.” Just your pretty mouth on my dick. Haha… You give a mean blowie baby. Pity really.

Today you really pissed me off. Breakin’ in like that? What if Sarah were here?! You’d scare her to death! I should’ve dealt with you the moment I found you in my bedroom. Well… maybe it’s for the best… Should daddy play with you one last time? Your last time… yeah, I’ll bend you over that table, ruin your little hole. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure you come and soak my dick real good. Gagged, tied up—just how I like you, sluts. Promise you, you’ll enjoy your last minutes.

Thank you for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[carmenized-onions]

Okay so I loved the last chapter (I was speechless)

The one before this I'd vented in the comments but now I'm like okay fine I'll do it is your asks AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Black turtleneck, blue pants— To match the stupid fucking Executive Chef’s eyes, or whatever, shut up! The pants are not actually that bright, but you think they’d still pair well with Carmen.

SO CUTE I MEAN 😭

Yeah, fuck it, hard launch this situationship. You toss it over your shoulders. Okay, okay, one last last final fit check. Hm. Yeah, you’ve definitely gotta put the necklace away. You kiss the plastic pendant for good luck, before tucking it under your shirt. Not ready for that story, just yet. You will be, eventually. But you certainly don’t want Carmen to notice and ask about it. Soon, though. You will, soon.

AHHHHYH (CAUSE JACKET) AHHHHHHHH (PENDANT)

Alright, you know it’s not the shoes you’re worried about. Just get out the door, Chip. It’s gonna be fine, Chip. Dinner’s gonna be good, and normal, actually, because two people having their first real one-on-one conversation after their mutual best friend killed himself just under a year ago is historically always super calm and chill and normal, actually. That’s how that works. It’s not gonna be tense, at all.

Not tense at all :)

Syd puts a hand over her mouth, heavy exhale of laughter still escaping through her nose. Schadenfreude.

Okay I laughed for two reasons

1. I love Syd

2. She voices Envy in inside out and they were going to add a character named Schadenfreude who was going to have a German accent and chuckle (of course you know the meaning so I won't explain why chuckle lol)

“Don’t talk about your sex life like it’s a restaurant.” He waves his hand in the air, immediately regretting asking. Listen, it was just the first metaphor on the brain.

RICHIE ITS FUNNY YOU ASKED

Doesn’t make you a fan of the slicked-back hair look, though. That’s what made you yell— Like when a dog or a baby doesn’t recognize their parent. Like when Mikey shaved for the first time after you met him, and you considered him completely unrecognizable. You practically ignored him until some stubble came in. What did he expect?

Good. Mikey with beard >>>>>

Ew slicked back hair

You also just don’t like it. Clean-Shaved Mikey nor Hair-Gel Carmen. The pomade is overpowering your shampoo, and now he doesn’t smell like you. Doesn’t smell like him. His curls are all gone— Man, his pattern was just starting to revive, too. He looks just too clean, too cookie-cutter, too… Someone else. He just doesn’t look like— “No, Bear, you look good— I just— You look— Don’t look like the Carmy I’m used to, is all.”

He doesn't smell like you was so AHHHHGG

Doesn't look like "my carmy"😭

Who are you to tell him what he looks like? You don’t know why, but the energy today is just making you feel like… You’re intruding, you’re stepping in on a space that has nothing to do with you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth, right?

I WAS SO SCARED

“You’re certainly trying—” “You’re fucking this up tremendously.” At least Richie is honest, and usually you are too, but, when it comes to a trainwreck, you’ve gotta tell the train they’re doing a great job. You just can’t bear to let it know it’s on fire.

Yes you do 😭💀😂

When your glass of water starts to overflow, you take the pitcher from Fak’s hand so he can’t keep overpouring it in his fugue state. Jesus Christ, what happened in the kitchen? Who died? Actually, probably don’t joke about that.

Mikey.

Richie looks to you, letting you make the call, here. You look at him and sigh, your plan has been utterly ruined, your speech— Dashed. He adds. “Intermission?”

This is sweet

Carmen stops short of his aggression, when he sees you. You can’t tell if you like that. You’re pretty sure you don’t. What’s that stupid idiom? Mean to the world, good to your girl? Don’t like that. Don’t like two faces. Don’t like the shade on the old sandwiches— Mikey’s sandwiches, either.

I hate the mean to the world good to your girl thing like you can't ever tell who the person is

“Oh.” You take a beat, then remember this is what your job is, “Oh!” You feel around the pockets of your pants. Should’ve expected to bring a screwdriver, at the very least, it’s The Bear. Get with the program. The tools are in your car, to be fair, but for a quick simple check-up—

ITS THE BEAR CARRY A SCREWDRIVER SHIT IS ALWAYS BROKEN 😂

Jealous, is he? Oh, that’s cute. That’s very cute. He’s the one that said he wanted to host— Whatever, no time to tease or bicker, you’re pulling the oven out, trying to lift as much as possible with Syd’s help, to keep from scrapping tile, but it’s inevitable.

I laughed so fucking hard

“I already know what’s wrong with the oven.” You pull out your wallet, flitting through the bill fold with your fingers— You keep band-aids there, in case of emergency, because of course you do. Syd tries to tug her hand away, again. Her blood is rubbing onto your fingers. It’s not a big cut, but it’s enough. You can’t help remember the ye old days of you as teens, hearing about the concept of blood brothers for the first time, and genuinely considering going through with it. Funny what time does. Funny who it brings back.

Microwave expert Tony

“The Miles Morales feels racially targeted.”

I love Syd

“Love you, Inky.” Oh my God. Chippy’s a flashback, Inky is like a history textbook.

This is so so cute

“Love ya, Squid.”

I need a back story!!!!

You should put oven expert on your business cards, when you eventually get to making new business cards. This is like, the third oven fix you’ve done in two weeks? And you just changed a thermocouple a few days ago! It takes you maybe five minutes tops, to switch the old wire for the good one.

GO TONY EXPERT

When you push the stove back against the wall and test the burners— It works, thank God. You might’ve hyped yourself up a little too much before even checking that. Once you do, though, before even saying it’s fixed, Syd violently shakes your left shoulder, as a point of approval. Tina, on your right, slaps you on the back several times as her vow of praise, too. This is like riding a roller-coaster, and not in a good way.  

PRIDE

You nod back, happy. You don’t wait for him to change his mind. You take one quick overview of their wine rack, noting what they do and don’t have, and then you’re off, out the door, to the front of house, to a warzone.

I love this so much (I probably had more thoughts as to why I copied this bit but I think I've forgotten the aggression)

The motherfucker at Booth Twelve sticks out like a sore thumb. There’s something about the aura he radiates, that tells you immediately that it’s him, despite not knowing his face or name. Bet it’s fucking Tony, somehow.

LMAO

He’s doing his best to peer into the kitchen window without being obvious about it, which, he’s currently failing at that. Richie sat his party in a good booth, it’s just the worst booth for a good view of the kitchen. Smart. This guy is an asshole, and it’s clear from his stupid equally punchable looking friends, that he’s doing all of this on purpose.

LOVE RICHIE

The big party, unexpected. The him, unexpected. The asking for a wine menu. He wants you all off guard, he wants Carmen off-guard, he wants Carmen’s breath to hitch, he wants Carmen to sweat, and most importantly, he wants to watch.

No but fr what an asshole

You stand in front of his view, on purpose. “Hi, pleasure to serve you lovely people tonight, I’m—” No shot you’re giving this guy your real name. “—Jack, I’m your sommelier. I heard you wanted to look over a wine menu?”

The Tony to Jack pipeline is real

“Well, actually, we don’t carry a wine menu because we at The Bear believe in a personally curated dining experience.” You don’t miss a beat, you don’t hitch, he hates this and you can tell. “I like to think that I’m your wine menu, flip through me at your leisure.”

THATS SUCH A LINE

Your eyes crinkle, as you do an expert customer service smile. This stupid fucking table laughs at the lukewarm joke, he just smirks, because rich men don’t have time for laughter. So, their cronies do it for them.

I love tony

Oh, that’s the one Carmen made for you, weeks back, you know that one. “Ah, one of my personal favourites. I’d recommend a young Pinot Grigio, maybe a 2006 Gravner?” How the fuck did you remember that? Doesn’t matter. What matters is this motherfucker is not getting under your skin.

YES GO TONY

“We have a fantastic Barolo Brunate to pair with that, Giuseppe Rinaldi 2019.” You have no idea if it’s fantastic. Who fucking cares. It’s expensive, you know that much. You only bothered to review the top rack.

YES AGAIN MAKE THE ASSHOLES SPEND

It does not end there. No, why would it? No, he and his compatriots go about naming every single fucking thing on the menu, asking you to pair it. And not to toot your own horn too much, but this is, really, the one job you feel the most trained to do. All those games with Syd, all those men at Eden’s, all the parts and tools and forty different types of wrenches you have to keep track of and memorized as a repairman— Your brain is trained for this. This isn’t easy for you, sure— But you are maybe more equipped for this than any other person you could possibly think of. Good think you don’t have to think of people, you have to think of wines.

I LOVE HER

But seriously the level of asshole

“I want him dead.”

Truth (let's kill him)

He daps you up, it is difficult to hide your pride. “That’s my fuckin’ Chippy!”

YES MAKE RICH ASSHOLES SPEND MONEY

“You didn’t see it?!” Carmen’s always liked it, when the two of you speak in unison. Carmen hates it, when you and Richie speak in unison. “You’d love it, Carm.”

JELLY

Despite the fact that both of you are just as nice as the other… This fucking guy is absolutely giving Richie more attitude, in comparison to you. You have a feeling the only reason he didn’t shut you down earlier with the menu is because you’re a hostess. Yeuch. Gross man senses are tingling, but maybe it’s just you.

Ew

Richie whispers to you, when you’re walking back to the kitchen, “He’s a fuckin’ creep, eh?”

Yikes 😭😭😭😭 men noticing it

You open the card, flitting vision between the dish, the note, and Carmen. Digesting the recipe he’s written for you and your eyes, only. He knew he wouldn’t have time to explain it verbally, so he wrote it down for you. You could throw up, honestly.

I could cry honestly (I was puking my guts out the night I read this)

…Did you just think love?

NO STOP

You already made your decision, when you saw the plate. When you read the note. When you saw the frantic scribbles at Carmen’s station, loose pieces of paper everywhere, all crumpled. He can’t come up with shit for the man in his head. You already made your decision, when the four other plates showed up on expo for his table, and all that’s left is the surprise dish, for The Man.

I cried so hard PLEASE NO TONY

You will not be eating the most perfect, most complex, most personal, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever made for you. The man out front, the man in Carmen’s head, will.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Syd was, though. She looks like a puppy watching another puppy get kicked. You swallow the feeling down, ignoring her stare. You don’t need to reread the card, it’ll stick in your head, for the rest of your life.

Plus she's got those big eyes so I bet she looks like a puppy 😭

“Lamb saddle, roasted, pink. Aigre-doux eggplant, means sour sweet sauce, with lamb confit, fresh spring garlic, Montmorency sauce— It’s a dark red cherry sauce, topped with cherries and baby basil.”

😭😭😭😭

You wouldn’t know any of the French terms, if they weren’t defined for you in the margins. There’s a parenthetical, next to the lamb— Mentioning that it’s roasted, explaining why saddle is a superior cut of lamb, noting why it’s best served pink— Mentioning that it’s similar to pork. Your favourite. There’re exclamation points next to the cherry additions, because it’s your favourite Italian ice flavour. They need to be emphasized, in the recipe. There’s another parenthetical, next to baby basil, ‘(yours)’. It’s your basil, from your balcony to his, now to his kitchen, now to your plate.

I COULD SOB REALLY

THE BASIL THE CARE

But he is. It hurts, because he is. Carmen is still under him, and so, you, being by his side, are under him too. You know you made the right call, giving the plate up, but the meaning behind it all hurts insurmountably.

😭

“Heard, Chef?” The crowd is confused but they’re not gonna stop you.

I laughed so fucking hard

Syd eyes you, on the sidelines, perplexed. You shrug, “You and Carmen are not the first people that tried to get this fuckin’ kitchen in order, check yourself.”

😂💀

You didn’t do all the French bullshit, but some days at The Beef definitely ran better when they had a former Lead EMT barking at them— With love, though. Always with love. Syd just laughs, shaking her head. It’s a delight, to always be learning new things about you. How overarching your handful of talents are. You really are a Jack of All Trades.

AWESOME

“Just, just kinda… Made fun ‘a—” Richie pauses, clearing his throat. “He made fun of my voice. To his fuckin’ friends. Called me unprofessional, said the suit’s prol— Probably a knock-off— Which, it is, but—”

DON'T BE MEAN TO RICHIE YOU'LL CATCH THESE HANDS

“I’ve been reading her Frog and Toad, almost every night, by the way, Mickey loves it.”

UM??????????

But there’s a handful of film photos with the two of you— Just the two of you— Richie’s in one or two, but it’s mostly just you and Michael. His arm, over your shoulder, in again, most of them. Mikey looks non-plussed in half of them. You’re always holding some sort of cupcake or cake, in all of them, and there’s always a numbered candle, being blown out. There’re a couple different times there’s a One candle, a few Twos, only one Three.

EXPLAIN

Carmen is going to fucking throw up. Why are there multiple ones? One week-iversary? One month-iversary? He has never imagined his brother to be some fucking sap sentimentalist, and it’s making his skin crawl. You dated his fucking brother? He is just a fucking gap filler, he is.

NO NO NO NO NO

I dont believe they dated at all

Max they kissed and it was one of those ewwww type kisses like kissed sure but there were no feelings so laughing it off and continuing to be best friends

You fucking trusted him with your credit score— You loved Mikey enough to ruin your life— You wanted to go under together. That’s what you fucking wrote, isn’t it?

Omg😭

I love mikey so much

Every fear Carmen ever had is more than affirmed. He is here to fill a void, he’s here because his brother isn’t. He is nothing but a series of stories his brother has told you, to you. Nothing but another Berzatto man that you desperately try to rehabilitate and fix and inevitably fail with, because they’re all fucking hopeless, before moving onto the next.

NO NO CARMY NO

Oh, so it’s a fucking Beef thing, too? That’s so fucking cute. It’s so cute, how you’re everywhere, in everything. It’s so goddamn tender how he finds you carved into tables, finds you in filing cabinets, finds you under his booths, finds you in his walk-in, finds you in his shower caddy each morning, finds you on his balcony in a plant pot, finds you in his fridge in a spray bottle, finds you with Syd, finds you with Richie, finds you with Tina, Marcus, Jimmy, Mikey.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Carmen Berzatto doesn't need anyone to ruin his own life except for him. He'll prove it.

CARMY NO WDYM

I do love this--- I will say, i promise I will always remember the context LMAO you don't have to copy the whole paragraph, but it's cute, i just feel bad clogging people's feeds AH

Thank you for being made speechless.

Always love making Tony's fits. Base them on my own, half the time. Turtleneck + palazzo goes HARD dude. Also his eyes or wtv.

Secretpendantsecretpendantsecretpendant

not tense at all.

I did completely forget Ayo voices Envy, but that is very fun in retrospect. Is that movie out yet? Cried like a motherfucker watching the first inside out, if they let me down i'll sue pixar

IF YOU ASK YOU GET AN ANSWER RICHIE!!

Genuinely, watching the S3 trailer and seeing Mikey no Beard just made him fully just Jon Bernthal to me and not the character he's portraying and I went WHAT THE FUCK IS JON BERNTHAL DOING HERE?

Slick back sucks. Burn it. I've gelled my hair back before, it just don't feel good. don't smell good neither DONT SMELL LIKE YOU!! dont look like her carmy!!

I do not think Claire is a great character for Carmen in the first place, but I also do think the way he acts like a completely different fucking person around his partner was SUCH a sign that that shit was not gonna work. NO FAKERS CARM!!!

I said before, I'll say it again, Fak, where are you. Mil for Mil this time bro. SQUARE UP!!!!

.....Microwave? let me make fun of you let me do it it's only fair i'm sorry

Can you tell me they WEREN'T targeted band-aids? Yes I know it's hard to see through the parchment, what's that got to do with anything.

The Squid/Ink backstory is so boring I promise it's essentially the same back story as me and my real life Cyd. You'll see.

Just yelling pride during pride month for the Syd Tina Tony moment did make me think you were decreeing all of them gay. And you know what. Why not.

I would like to state for the record, it's more like Jack to Tony-- Jack's the first nickname she was ever given. It's honestly more like Jack to Inky to Chip to Tony pipeline.... no one cares about this---

I'm glad the lines I intentionally write to be like mid like the flip through me still come off as very cool. Thats nice.

But yes yes yes, tony's a good egg when it comes to biting her tongue around these mfs

If Carmen just saw ratatouille he wouldnt need to be jealous frfr

gross man just dropped! GET HIM!!!

SORRY, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SAY LOVE IN A ROMANTIC FIC? No problem. Let me just take it out for ya,,,, Ya want a pizza with nothin!!!

I wonder if anyone cried in the literal tears sense, reading this chapter. I don't think I got all the way there, yet. I don't know if that dog is in me or my writing. Though I try.

Syd's got probably the most shattering puppy dog eyes frfr. So much care in that dish. AGAIN THANK YOU LE PAVILLION I STOLE IT FROM THEM

AND THE CROWD GOES CONFUSED!!! But really Tony is a fixer and an emt, I can only imagine how much watching the way Mikey led stressed her the FUCK out she had to take a shift

I DIDN'T DO SHIT TO RICHIE THE GUY DID I JUST WROTE IT MAN OKAY

I will clarify: Frog and Toad, fully Nat saying that in the background. I simply did not make that clear enough apparently lmao.

I will also not explain any of the other stuff, though. TOUGH! (soon though, soon)

GIRL WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK HE MEANS HE'S GONNA NUKE US ALL !!!!!

thank you for enjoying the chapter <3

[sillylotrpolls]

I could never turn notifications off on these polls; I love all y'all's comments too much. ♥

#hold up lemme google something#the eagle?? the fucking bird?? the head honcho bird????#fuck it. marry. why not.#it nearly landed on grima wormtongue and i got super excited for a second#but sure we can have the bird. it’s fine.#at least it’s reliable#i know sweet fuck all about it btw sorry if it turns out the bird is jesus reincarnated and i’m a fool and a moron for not wanting some @jellydragons

#today I'm heading to real jail and not horny jail 😞 @elanna-elrondiel

#anyway that wheel has more names on it than i thought there would be @hummingbirdgf

-- Note: So you know, this is the edited list. I removed most of the more obscure names, and also the kid.

#shelob. i hate to say it but im gonna have to go with kill on this one as unfortunately i am gay @limedtown

#i almost got aragorn. but did not. and for that i kill. @joyflameball

#haldir? idk who that is tbh but it sounds a dwarven name? @deeisace

-- Note: This is hilarious specifically if you know who Haldir is/the one thing he does in the story.

#listen#i have not actually read or watched all of lord of the rings#i do not know who the character i got is#but when i google Gríma Wormtongue#i get the greasiest#evilest#little guy ive seen#and listen#what else am i supposed to pick#when the guy has a name like wormtongue#fuck 👍 @ghostly-nobody

#in the spirit of the game I must regretfully marry a tree @skulkingwriter

-- Note: There are three different characters this could refer to, and that's only because I edited out several others.

#the watcher in the water#aka the tentacle monster outside the gates of Moria#hahahahahaha#oof#i chose marry @lasenbyphoenix

#legolas. I'm gonna snap him in half like a twig#wait i forgot this is fmk. #Sexually. to be clear @charmcoin

#celeborn#I would not marry Celeborn (prejudiced against dwarves)#but I would fuck him. I wanna know what the fuss is about that he snagged GALADRIEL without any dynastic advantage to offer#my first love @silentstep

-- Note: this is a very good point, actually; how DID he land Galadriel?

#i got gorbag. which was a gollum near miss. i will not tell u which i selected but you can take my humiliation as a hint @subtly-shakespearean

#SHELOB? THE SPIDER?#well. I take her on as a beloved wife now @catboirights

#the watcher in the water#hang on gotta google something#i don’t know lotr#ah okay i see#i mean. try everything once right?#i’m on monsterfucker.website i don’t think i should have to explain myself @yeah-thats-probably-it

#King of the dead#Marry#He's flawed#but committed to growth and making amends#and really that is all you can ask for in a life partner @thecupsmith

#the witch king of angmar#he's hot but only because of the armor so kill. i'm stealing his helmet. @crystallinehorror

Before voting, spin the wheel and get a Lord of the Rings character.

Not sure who your character is? You can look them up on this Tolkien Gateway character list, or just vote based on vibes.

For the purposes of the game, assume your vote is not "LaCE compliant." (That is, fucking an elf does not instantly mean marriage or death for that elf.)

Poll concept from @pollsnatural.

[lcnelyghost]

Can you do the Evan’s dating a plus size girl? 🤭🫶🏻❤️

all that you are//the evan’s

pairings; fem reader with tate langdon, kit walker, kyle spencer, jimmy darling, and james patrick march

rating; pg13!

warnings; slight harsh language, body shaming, bullying

a/n: sorry to everyone that might not like what i’m gonna say, but i only write for the evan’s until they go up to season five with james. yes, i have watched the other seasons. i LOVE gallant and edward mott, but i won’t be pairing them with a female reader for obvious reasons. rory and jeff didn’t satisfy me all that much, and i still have mixed feelings on kai. yeah, i also like austin, but i don’t really know if i have that special little connection to his character yet. and no, am i fuck gonna write for jeffrey. that’s something that i’ll never feel comfortable doing.

Tate Langdon;

• Tate couldn’t give a shit about how you looked, he loved you for how you truly were. From the way you treated him, he already knew that you had a heart of gold.

• He loves how you guys have the exact same style. You enjoy wearing baggy sweaters and jeans, much like himself. And he adores how confident you are when it came to wearing what you wanted.

• If any school girls even dared to make fun of you, well.. i’m pretty sure we know what would happen..

Kit Walker;

• If Kit falls in love with someone, it’s not for the breathtaking looks they’ve been blessed with. No. It’s simply for the fact that they have such a kind heart and a beautiful soul. That’s what Kit is truly attracted to.

• He admires every last bit of you. Size isn’t important to him, not at all.

• Kit fell for you, because you’re just you. You’re not hiding behind some mask or going around with a full face of makeup, nor trying to fit in with everyone, you’re you. And that’s certainly enough for him to love and cherish.

Kyle Spencer/Franken Kyle;

• Truth be told, the little soul can’t even tell the difference between you and other girls. Right enough, not that he would even care in the slightest.

• He gets really upset when he overhears Madison saying her usual shitty comments about you. Though that soon turns into a fit of laughter when Queenie punishes her for it.

• Kyle doesn’t have the kind of feeling to care enough when it comes to you’re size. You treat him in a way he’s always wanted to be treated, and he doesn’t need anything more than that.

Jimmy Darling;

• Uh, I think we’re aware that Jimmy couldn’t give a shit if you were big or not. We’ve seen enough to prove that, trust me..

• Most of the freaks respect you and treat you no differently from the others, Jimmy makes sure it stays like that.

• If Elsa even has the nerve to ask if you could be part of the show seeing as she thought you’re figure could be quite the ‘entertainment’ for some people, Jimmy would hit breaking point.

James Patrick March;

• James isn’t one for body shaming. His mother raised him to always respect a woman, and that her size shouldn’t matter to him. If she treats him right, then by all means he should show her the love and respect she deserves.

• He isn’t fussed about you’re weight. Mr March still buys you the best of the best. Including the fanciest clothes, jewellery, perfume, everything he’d buy for the woman he loves most!

• When the time comes around for his monthly dinner with the Countess, he’s sure to fire back at her sneaky, vulgar comments. Even Miss Evers will defend you as much as she can.

“And should we be expecting you’re new partner, James? I suppose the word ‘little’ isn’t a way to describe her.”

“You mean my loyal, new partner? Ah, yes. And I suppose that word isn’t something that we should mention when you’re the topic of conversation, hm?”

Yeah, he ain’t up for her bullshit today folks.

[writingsfromhome]

Endgame III

A/N: Long awaited final part of Endgame!! Thanks to everyone who read it all and waited ages (oops). I really enjoyed going back to the characters for this final scene, hope you do too <3

Part 1 / 2 /

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There’s a pit of dread that sits in my stomach, it’s made a home of it there all of Sunday while I work on Angels, and into Monday. It’s 8:30am sharp and I’m sat in the meeting room, nervous as fuck about this meeting with Mr. O’Neil. I’m scared that he hates me because I reacted too emotionally on Friday sending the manuscript back to him. I’m worried he’s going to find my comments on his new chapters worthless. And most of all, because I know it won’t go well, I’m scared about the way he’s going to react to the cover designs.

I don’t expect him to look so…giddy when he arrives 15 minutes later. He looks sharp in a crisp black button up and black slacks. I check my watch again, Harry was officially late which was unusual of him. I guess this was going to be a one-woman show until then.

“Mr. O’Neil,” I shake his hand. “Thanks for swinging by today.”

“Thank you,” he grips my hand tight. “You’re a spark Ms. Y/L/N.”

“It’s just Y/N,” I sit down once he finally lets go of my hand. “Now, I’m hoping those files in your hand are the last chapters?”

“They are,” he says slowly. “I brought them myself so they wouldn’t be sent back.”

My smile drops, “Ahm yeah about that, I-“

“It was the punch I needed,” he grins. He plonks down in the chair and begins pulling out more files from his bag. “Miriam has always treated me delicately, stern woman but always so delicate. You were the spark I needed, those chapters showed back up at my flat and you wouldn’t believe I wanted to chuck them across the room first--well, I did chuck them. Then I picked them all up because I’m afraid of my girlfriend. Then I laughed for five minutes solid, because nobody has slapped me like that without touching my face in a long time.”

“I…” didn’t know what to say. I was expecting major conflict today but this version of him is pumped and creative as he shows me his last chapters, takes in my feedback, and disagrees with me here and there. We flow well, that is until about an hour later. We’d done the copy edits live on the last two chapters together and he was going to take it back to fix everything Miriam and I had circled and underlined. But now it was time to reveal the cover options.

I glance miserably outside the glass room, but Harry is nowhere in sight. Leave it up to him to leave me presenting his shite.

“So…these are some of the options we have so far,” I flip over the mock-ups like I’m reading his tarot. From the look on his face, he hates what the future has in store. “They’re just some-

“No. No. These are shite. Steaming pile of shite, Y/N what is this?”

“Well,” I rack my brain for something. Anything. “We were trying for a modern and trendy cover as an option-“

“I hate all of them, why the fuck is this neon? It’s gonna blind my reader before they can even read my book! Is my book that bad?”

“No of course-“

“So why do the covers make my book look like something I’d wipe my arse with?” He stands in his chair, quickly collecting all the mockups. “These are insulting.”

“Right, okay well we’ve still got time to work on more!”

“I know we do,” he looks me in the eye and it’s intimidating, any traces of the happy-go-lucky O’Neil is gone. “But even presenting these to me is a fucking insult. I know you’ve read my book cover to cover so what’s the meaning of this?”

Ugh, it would be so easy to throw Harry under the bus. Shift the blame, say I told you so. But that wasn’t how I worked, I never wanted to create that kind of dynamic in the workplace.

“Look, Mr. O’Neil…I do sincerely apologize. If I’m honest with you, I don’t think they’re right either. But you know the book business is also now a marketing business and readers do judge a book by its cover. Our department was just trying to make something trendy, but I see very clearly now we should stick to an authentic cover that will show someone the heart of the book.”

He nods along to what I’m saying, and when I’m done he give me a once-over. “I like you kid, you know how to kiss up too.”

“I’m good at my job,” I say before I realize the weight of those words-I was good at my job and a man like Harry Styles wasn’t going to undermine the hard work I do like this. “I meet with you next Friday with your finished edits right? I’ll have new mock-ups then.”

“That’s grand,” he calmy folds over the neon cover, reopens it and tears it in two. I watch with a removed shock. “This is awful, worst of the bunch. Eh, I don’t hate the direction…just tone down those fucking colours.”

“Will do Mr. O’Neil.”

“And I want to meet this Friday for the covers and this fancy marketing bullshite. This book is my baby, I want to make sure it looks beautiful.”

I agree, mentally making a note to make room in my schedule. I shake his hand again and walk him through the office to the lift. He tells me again we work well together, and I remind him that I’ll see him next week.

Then I walk back to the meeting room, kick my heels off, and melt into my seat. What a fucking morning.

“Y/N?” I don’t know if I dozed off but my name startles me out of position. I blink the tiredness away and see a nightmare: Harry in the flesh way after the meeting’s done. “How did the meeting go?”

“What?” I look at the time, almost 20 minutes since I saw O’Neil out. I feel the familiar rage flare up inside me. “Are you asking me how the meeting went? The meeting you were supposed to attend?”

“I was supposed to be there?” Harry steps into the room. Almost sensing my impending explosion, he closes the door behind him. “I wasn’t informed.”

I laugh but nothing is funny. “You weren’t informed? So let me get this straight: we work on this together, we’re told by our director we’re on this together. And our client comes in and you didn’t think to attend? Did I have to personally email you to attend? Send you an email, a notification, maybe even an RSVP?”

“Hold on,” Harry holds his hands out as I stalk closer to him. He glances outside and it catches my attention, a couple of our colleagues stare at the entertainment. I move to the centre console and black out the windows.

“I’m holding on, what genius excuse are you coming up with?”

“No Y/N, I honestly didn’t know. I rarely attend the editing meetings, unless I’m told directly. I attend marketing meetings and-“

“You knew we were presenting the stupid mockups in today’s meeting right? Isn’t that marketing?”

“Right,” he doesn’t meet my eye. “I guess I could have came-“

“Yeah you guess?” I’m back to cornering him, my rage rearing its ugly face. “You gave me the worst covers ever, even though I asked and begged you to change them! Because you were too fucking stubborn to read the damn book or listen to anyone but yourself! And you left me all alone to present the covers I knew he would hate! And guess what? He hated them! And if I was any worse at my job, he would have eaten me for breakfast! All because you wouldn’t bloody listen to me!”

“I listened,” he crosses his toned arms. “I read through your notes and I tried! And you hated what your own notes produced!”

“Oh my god the notes?” I walk away from him, I was shaking. I take hold of the cover ripped in half and throw it by his feet. “You clearly don’t read shit if you’re saying this hideous cover was from my notes! I do my job well, and whatever this thing is, isn’t a product of my notes! It’s a product of your shitty work! And that’s exactly how O’Neil felt about it!”

He stares at the two pieces in front of him. And I don’t know how he’s still so calm, but he looks back at me with a blank face. “I’ll make new ones if he didn’t like them. I can call him personally if you want. It’s not that big of a deal at this stage!”

“Oh my god,” I whisper to the table, balancing on my clenched fists. I had moved past rage, past frustration, and into ballistic. He just didn’t get it: he was undermining my work with a client while I was trying to make a good impression for upcoming promotions, even stripped back he was a man undermining my skills as a woman, making me look like a fool while I presented his shitty work. He just didn’t get it.

“Just leave,” I say to the table because I couldn’t even look at him. “I can’t even look at you Harry just get the fuck out.”

The door opens, he hesitates, and then leaves, the door slams behind him. Only then do I go back to my seat, slide down under the table, and let the tears run freely.

This meeting, the pressure of this client, dealing with Harry and his brick wall…it was a lot but nothing I couldn’t handle. But I think seeing my ex on Saturday, reliving my past and realizing Harry giving me a hard time was an outcome of my toxic relationship. That a relationship I ended five years ago was interfering with my career today. That all men were the same…It got to me, and it just broke me.

***

I don’t plan on seeing let alone talking to Harry for the rest of the day but as I leave the office after staying later than I needed to, the lift doors open to him and him alone. He makes nervous eye contact with me, and it takes me back a little. That he was nervous seeing me. Usually he didn’t give a fuck no matter what happened between us, even bordering on snobbish and cocky.

The silence is a large presence in the small space. Since seeing him this morning, I’d cried under the table and then reapplied my makeup in the bathroom. I downed another coffee and got started on another one of my manuscripts. I could work hard as much as I cried hard.

“Y/N I’m-“

The door opening interrupts Harry which makes it ten times more awkward when someone from the third floor gets on and stands in between us. They must notice the tension because they step forward away from us, ready to bolt as soon as the doors open.

When they do, I hustle off but Harry and his damn long legs catch up. “Wait, I need to apologize.”

I glare at him but lead him out the door to our building courtyard. “Fine. Talk.”

“I am genuinely sorry. I can’t believe I let all that happen, and I don’t know why I let it get that far for something I…”

“What are you apologizing for exactly?” I ask. He was rambling, and some part of me understood what he was apologizing for, knowing what I knew from Saturday. But I wanted him to say it.

He hangs his head, “A lot. I’m sorry I didn’t have your back. I let…other things cloud my professional opinions and I didn’t support you when I should have.”

For a guy who worked with pictures all day, he wasn’t too bad with his words. But I needed more. “What ‘other things’?”

He looks at me with puppy eyes, begging me not to go there. But I wanted to, I needed to. I raise an eyebrow, he could talk.

“The past.”

“You mean other people’s opinions?” I demand clarity.

“I-sure. Yeah, just holding onto what happened in the past and I know it shouldn’t even matter anymore. We’re both adults, well you’ve been acting like one. I’ve been clinging onto the past and I know I should let it go. Even though it was…painful, I know I should put it to rest now. You could have thrown me under the bus and called me to defend my own covers but you handled it. I…thank you. And if I haven’t already said it I’m sorry.”

I don’t exactly follow him but I let my guard down a little. He didn’t need to know my past was clinging onto me, but if he could let go, maybe it would shed itself slowly.

“You owe me so hard,” I say. “Like, the weight of what you owe me indebts you for life.”

“A bit harsh,” he begins to argue but one look at my face and he puts his hands up. “Whatever you say.”

“Great, glad we’ve sorted this.” I move to shake his hand in a silly gesture of good faith. “Apology accepted by the way; thank you.”

“Great, you drive a hard bargain but...nice doing business,” he clasps my hand in his and-oh.

A warm tingle moves through my body and when I make eye contact I can’t look away. I don’t know what was happening, but I was in zero gravity and the only thing keeping me moored was the strong hand that held mine.

He drops our hands first, like he was burned. He looks down, staring at it. I’m embarrassed, and confused, so I do what I do best-confront it head on. “What the hell was that?”

The only way to describe Harry’s expression is wistful. “That wasn’t just me.”

“I think we just like, altered time and space by getting along.” I laugh it off.

“Who knew we were so powerful together,” he grins and I’m fucking floored by how much I wanted to kiss the grin off his face. I take a shaky breath in.

“Fuck,” I take another breath. “We could run this place.”

“Oh that reminds me,” he digs into his pocket for his phone and taps away until he finds what he’s looking for. “I want to change the font but I have a design to show you.”

He turns the phone towards me and I immediately love it. A warm semi-circle goes from orange to golden towards its edges, emitting a transparent glow over most of the cover. A faint moon is present on the back, and the background is an off-white.

“And the shape will actually be raised, either that or the font will be…still workshopping it but,” he scratches his head. “I re-read your notes. You don’t have the neatest writing so I might have…missed a few words. The way you write moon looks kind of like neon?”

My jaw drops, “An apology, a re-read, admitting to being wrong, and a new design?”

“Don’t get used to it,” he nudges me with his shoulder and I ignore the inner waves crashing against my beating heart. “Anyway I gotta go, meeting some friends but I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow?”

I wave goodbye and walk towards my station. What the hell was happening.

***

The office is a lot calmer now that Harry and I have called a truce. And he surprises me with this new side of him. He can still be stubborn, and a bit stuck up. But he’s more agreeable and willing to collaborate with me. And when he turns his dimpled smile at me, I can’t help but beam back. We made a bloody good team.

I sit in the conference room 8:30 sharp on Friday. I put in some more effort this morning, feeling good about everything. Harry comes in just minutes before Mr. O’Neil but we settle down after getting him a tea.

“This is the ‘marketing department’ huh?” Mr. O’Neil winks at me when Harry hands him the new cover. His eyes roam over the whole thing and I hold my breath until I hear him say it: “It’s fucking fantastic.”

“There’s nothing you want to fix?” Harry asks for feedback as I grin from ear to ear.

“My name could be bigger, you know I wrote the book.” He taps at it. “But this is it, you two.”

We chat a bit more about the final version of the book, Harry pretends to know what’s going on since he’s never read the full thing. And finally, Mr. O’Neil calls an end to the meeting to continue working on his manuscript. I walk him to the lift. When I get back to the room, Harry’s organizing the papers that had traveled across the desk.

“We did it!” I shout after I close the door. I walk towards him with both hands raised high. “He loved the cover and the manuscript is on track!”

Harry returns my high-five, but instead of the quick touch, he slips his fingers in between mine and lowers them to our sides. The mood shifts from joyous to…dangerous.

“Who would have thought,” he says to me quietly. “We make a good team.”

I keep the eye contact otherwise I would be making eyes with his lips. And I didn’t want him to know how curious I was to how that would feel. “Who knew respect was a two way street.”

“It…” he looks down at my mouth. “It is. I’m glad I left our disrespect in the past.”

“Right,” I’m barely paying attention as he moves closer to me. But then his words hits, “wait, our disrespect in the past?”

I disentangle myself so quickly he has to balance himself on the table so he doesn’t pitch forward. He blinks away the desire, leaving a puzzled look. “I’m joking…kind of. I mean, it did feel a bit disrespected but we were kids so like I said the other day I’m glad I let it go.”

“I don’t get it,” I feel an oncoming storm, and it kicks my anxiety up a notch. “I don’t get what you just said.”

“I’m just talking about that party it’s-“ he chuckles. “It’s not a big deal Y/N. Anymore. We’re both different people now right?”

“What party?” I demand.

Realizing I had actually known Harry from my first day of uni was one thing, but I didn’t remember him anywhere else. If there was a party where something happened…something that caused him to misjudge me…I needed to know.

“Like, around the end of our second year? Spring. Jared and Dru had this huge year end party? And, this is embarrassing. I don’t care anymore seriously. But Dru was being my wingman, he came up to you to tell you that-jeez saying this is more embarrassing than I thought-“

“Just say it!” I urge, feeling sick. I knew this party. It was the night my whole life changed for the worse but I don’t remember this version of events. I needed to hear this.

“Okay, so I had this massive crush on you? From that first day. When…y’know behind the shed.” Harry chuckles. “Anyway I was too nervous to ever actually ask you out I’m sure you caught me staring at you a lot. All my friends knew how much I liked you and they were sick of hearing about it. So, well Dru was convinced you weren’t my type but he agreed to check you out and ask if you wanted to give me your number?”

I listen numbly as he tells me his version of events. That Dru asked me about his flatmate Harry who had a crush on me, if I would give him my number. How I’d looked at him sweetly and then kissed Dru. My jaw is on the floor but I can’t stop him from talking.

“And it’s whatever now but it felt cruel, I was so sure you were this one person and you ended up just making out with my best friend. And…dating him. And don’t get me wrong, it was your prerogative I didn’t own you or something just because I liked you first but…when you’re 20 everything is just more personal right? Hey, are you alright?”

I wasn’t alright. My head was spinning and yet it was cataloguing everything Harry said against my own memories. And when I think harder, I pin him down; he was the one staring at us when Dru came up to me. Of course he was staring so intensely, he wanted to know if I liked him and Dru manipulated both of us. He fucked us both up.

“That’s not what happened,” I croak. “Harry you have to know I-“

“It doesn’t matter,” he laughs it off but I see the hurt in his eyes. I unknowingly hurt him, left a deep scar, because Dru had manipulated us both. Fuck Dru.

“No Harry listen, Dru is a fucking liar-“

“Okay I don’t want to shit-talk Dru.” Harry interrupts. “He’s a friend, I know you ended up dating him and breaking up but he’s still my fri-“

“Would a friend date the girl you had a massive crush on? If you were in that position, doing that for Dru? Wouldn’t you have pushed me away and feel sorry for Dru that he had to see that?”

“Yeah but Dru and I are different-“

“No! No, Dru is different. He’s not decent. Harry I’m telling you that’s not what happened on my end at the party!”

“You were probably too drunk,” Harry denies my truth. “Anyway it’s not a big deal!”

“I wasn’t drunk. I remember everything!” I insist.

“So you remember seeing me there waiting, and still kissing Dru?” He pauses and this is how I know he was still not quite over it.

“Yes, no-just listen. Dru manipulated both of us-“

“Do you remember it or not?” Harry asks again, his eyes blazing with hurt.

I touch his arm, try to get him to calm down and understand even though feeling gaslit again was driving me crazy, “Harry, Dru isn’t who you think he is.”

Harry shuts down but I try again. “Dru used both of us,”

He grabs my arm so suddenly, jerking me away so my hand falls off. He keep it gripped as he says, “Dru’s my friend, just because you had a shitty relationship doesn’t mean you can turn me against him.”

“I’m not-” I begin to panic as his grip tightens. “Oh my god, Harry please just—let go. Harry let go of me!”

I don’t realize how loud I shout, but the moment makes me feel trapped and small like I had time traveled five years back. The silence echoes my frightened emotions in the spacious room and Harry steps back, almost shocked by his reaction. He looks at where he’d grabbed me, ashamed and scared.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just got…”

“Is everything okay here?” I hear our director say as the door opens. “I heard a shout…what’s going on?”

“Sorry, we got carried away.” Harry plasters on a quick smile. I arrange my face into one too, turning to face her. We lie about celebrating too loudly, she relaxes and congratulates us on the small success before closing the door behind her once more.

“Y/N,” he chokes. “I’m sorry.”

I’m shaking so hard I can’t look at him, I was so fucking weak like this. He comes closer but I shrink away.

We stand in our aftermath in silence, I don’t know what he looks like, I can’t take my eyes off the stray red thumbtack on the carpet. If I break my focus from it, I was going to fall apart. I couldn’t freak out, not here.

Finally, I get through breathing normally, and my eyes dry up. I feel okay enough to look up. Harry’s already looking at me, his jaw set and his hands curled into fists. For a second, I think it’s because of me but when our eyes meet his gaze softens, his fingers uncurl and flex at his side.

“Did he hurt you?” He asks. When I don’t answer he takes a tentative step towards me. “Y/N. Did he hurt you?”

I swallow, my throat suddenly feels parched. “My scars aren’t on the outside, he knew better than that.”

His throat bobs up and down, his face hardening into something fearsome. I always thought Harry gave me his worst side because he had some issues with me, but seeing him look like this, I’m glad I never had this directed towards me. “Dru is…”

“Dru is a fucking narcissist,” I finally say and it’s so freeing. Carrying this around was so heavy, finally saying my truth out loud even if it’s to his friend feel good.

“He fucks people up Harry, including you-wait let me finish.” I hold out my hand when he tries to interrupt. “I only remembered you last Saturday, when you helped me through…my attack. It triggered the memory from our first day--you have to know I used to get so confused and lethargic after an anxiety attack, so I never remembered who you were. I didn’t even see your face! I looked for you a few weeks later because I remembered your jersey number but it was someone else-“

“I was kicked off the team for showing up drunk…” Harry pauses, seeming to process something but he doesn’t voice it so I take it as my cue to continue.

“I actually didn’t remember you at all from uni. I guess because I didn’t remember you from that first day, you never made a first impression on me.” I take a breath. “And as for that party, that awful party. That’s not what happened. When Dru came up to me, he told me he had a bet with his mates-you guys, that a ‘girl like me’ wouldn’t kiss him. So I thought I was helping him by proving to his mates that a girl like me might.”

With the revelation, Harry folds into the chair behind him, processing everything I’m saying. And I continue, telling him what happened that night from my end. I don’t tell him how Dru slowly began to gaslight me, manipulate and isolate me, toy with my feelings. I don’t want to tell him how much he really broke me, I just tell him what he needs to know.

Nobody speaks for a moment, and then several moments pass. He gets up in a rush, running his fingers through his hair. It had grown in the two weeks since he’d cut it and it grows volume as he runs through it again.

“He tried to convince me you were-” he cuts off. “You were high maintenance, you just wanted attention. He told me I didn’t want someone-I didn’t want endgame at 18 but…” he looks at me, crushed. A million thoughts must flicker through his mind as he looks at me for a loaded minute. “I did.”

My words are caught in my throat as I understand how he had felt. How fucking different both our lives could have gone if he was the one to approach me that night at the party.

Before I can say anything he grabs his phone and checks it, he grabs all his things in a frenzy and pauses. “I’m going to fix this Y/N, I’m gonna make it right.”

“Wait what? Harry!” I try to call him back but he moves past me. I rush to move around him, stopping him with a hand to his chest. “Harry don’t do anything crazy. C’mon, let’s just talk.”

“Y/N, there are so many times......” his jaw flexes as he swallows his words.

His hand reaches out to me but they freeze in mid-air before they reach my face. He clenches them, dropping like dead weight to his side. I almost grab them, place them where they would have gone if he had the courage to carry the action out. But he just look at me, a painful faraway look on his face. “I’m sorry.”

His long legs carry him to the door before I can speak another word. I reach for the centre console that make the windows transparent, but he’s out of view by the time I do. I rush out of the room and see him in the doorway of our director’s office. Before I can call his name again, he’s shot off and our director walks out behind him. She notices me, “Y/N. Bring me your notes on Angels--if you’re free right now. Let’s go over it while we still have the momentum.”

God the last thing I can think of doing right now is work but I have nowhere to go, no excuse to give. I get back to the desk and pick up my notes and my laptop, I breathe in and think of all my fragmented pieces reigning back into my chest. I breathe out all the confusion, I put it to the side. Then I go two doors down and present my progress like everything was fucking okay.

***

Rowan’s shows up with wine on Saturday afternoon. I’d been ignoring her calls all of Friday and Saturday because I didn’t know how to break it to her. There was so much I had to hold back from her because I’d never told her the truth about Dru. And it scared me when I thought about coming clean.

“You’re screening my calls now?” She asks, her pup in hand. She lets him down and he shoots through my flat, familiar with it from all the times I dog-sit.

“I’ve just be-I’ve been-I-” I burst out crying before I can finish that sentence. She wraps herself around me and holds me tight and I hate myself for never telling her the whole truth. She holds me until my sobs turn into sniffles.

“Got it all out?” She asks when she pulls away.

“Probably not,” I say miserably. “But come in, sorry for being a shitty friend.”

“Shut up,” she makes herself at home. Unloading the tote from her shoulder that’s filled with food. “I’m going to make you lunch and you’re going to tell me everything about Dru and Harry.”

“What?” I sit on a stool at the bar. “How do you know this is about-“

“I’m with Jared now? I have an ear to the ground!” I look at her shocked. Her and Jared were together? She answers as if she could read my mind. “Yes! Can you believe it? He asked me the morning after, if I wanted to have a serious go at all this. I was like, it took you long enough! But…anyway this isn’t about me. Tell me what happened.”

“No you tell me,” I lean over the countertop. “Did Jared say something? What happened?”

“Okay,” she puts down her ingredients and I take the moment to pick her pup up before he scratches a hole in my jeans. “So I go over to Jared’s on Friday and the house looks like it went through the war. Not like, physically. Well there were things everywhere, but the atmosphere was so dead quiet. Jared takes me to the room and we pass by Harry in the hall. Jared’s like, where are you heading are you alright? And Harry’s all like, I need to get out of here-“

“Harry was there?”

“Yeah he lives in their spare attic bedroom?” She surprises me with the information like I should have already known that. “So I ask Jared what happened when we go and he said Harry came back from work early on Friday. And y’know Jared has odd hours so he was home. And he said Harry was just like a maniac. Jared tried to talk to him but it was like he was going to kill Dru and nobody could talk him out of it. And Jared knew it was serious, because even though they’ve drifted a lot since uni Harry still acted like Dru was his best mate. Jared said…”

Rowan trails off, looking at me curiously. She had this way of telling stories that jumped from one place to another but I couldn’t handle the suspense. I nearly shout, “What?”

“Well Jared said Dru has this way of getting underneath people. He knew how they ticked and he used that against people sometimes. Apparently they used to fight a lot because of that until Jared really put his foot down…Y/N, did he do that to you? Fuck you up like that? Jared said he tried to talk to Dru once when you two were dating but Dru like, got up in his face and nearly bit his head off. He always felt like that’s why Dru and you broke up because that was like the day before you two broke up. Anyway, you never said anything but…did he?”

I swallow. I guess this was it.

Through a brave face, and then a crumbling snotty one, I tell Rowan everything. Everything Dru did, and everything he didn’t technically do. At some point she comes around to sit beside me, holding my hand, my shoulder, and finally pulling me in to hold me while I blubber about how hard it had been.

“I’m so sorry,” Rowan says gently once I quiet down. “Y/N...why did you keep all this to yourself?”

“I just-” I wipe my nose with my sleeve, not caring at this point how disgusting that was. “He took everything away from me, even my identity. I thought if I didn’t tell anybody, nobody had to know how little he reduced me down to. If I didn’t say it aloud, maybe it was only in my head.”

“Oh love,” Rowan’s bottom lip quivers.

“Don’t you dare cry or I’m going to find a whole new waterfall of my own.”

“I won’t!” Rowan laughs but tears trail silently down her face. “That piece of shite. And I...oh god and I always told you to get over it. No wonder you...”

“I always thought it was curious,” Rowan stares off into space when I only shrug. “I only remember Harry from uni because I always found him looking at you, no matter what room we were in, how many people were in there I was always like, this bloke must really like my mate an awful lot because he’s always looking! That or he was a creep. But when you started dating he-who-must-not-be-named, I never looked into it.”

“I didn’t remember him,” I tell her. “He was actually the footballer that helped me my first day. I didn’t realize until that party last weekend.”

“Shut up!” Rowan looks shocked. “That’s so cute.”

“Is it?” I hesitate, realizing Rowan still hadn’t finished her story. “Finish your story, about Dru and Harry.”

“Oh yeah,” Rowan glances to the other side of the kitchen. “I should get back to lunch too.”

She heads around, chopping the vegetables and finishes telling me what happened.

Harry:

I feel fucking on fire, I can’t sit still and the more I move the more I want to punch the living shite out of Dru.

“Just, hold on!” Jared tries to stop me for the fifth time. “What’s this all about?”

“Dru’s fucking-he’s-he’s dead!” I roar. “How did I not see it earlier Jared? That little weasel got in between me and everything I ever loved!”

“What? Har, I know he’s a dick but what did he do?”

“Everything!” I shout. “He’s the reason I showed up drunk to football, he got me kicked off the team! So she never found me! And that internship in first year, he convinced me to be young and free and turn it down! He-Jared he lied to me about her! He knew how I felt and he took her, he fucked her up! He fucked her up!”

“Wait, who is this about-” Jared tries to dig deeper but I push past him when I hear the door open. Jared’s barely taken his jacket off when I have him pushed against the wall, my arm pressed against his throat.

“Harry, mate, what’s-”

“You’re sick, you’re fucking sick for what you’ve done.” I let him go, and he gets a moment to glance from me to his brother before my fist connects with his face.

“What the fuck!” He falls to the floor, clutching his face. “What the fuck’s wrong with you!”

“You lied!” I push him back up. “You lied through your fucking teeth about everything!”

He shoves me in the chest and the narrow hallway catches me on the opposite wall. That only pumps me, I shove him back and with no more words between us we’re a tornado of fists, one to my face, another to his abdomen, his head in a lock, Jared trying to break us apart and gets clipped in the face by his brother.

By the time I have him laying flat on his back, I deliver another fist to his face, but Dru spits blood up at me and laughs. He has the fucking nerve to laugh.

“It’s got to be about a girl,” his voice is hoarse, his breath comes out shaky. “It’s about her isn’t it?”

I lift him by his shirt and crash him back down onto the floor. I vaguely hear Jared, his hand catching my fist before it hits Dru again. I get one more punch with my other hand but Jared is pulling me away from Dru’s defeated form on the ground, sitting my ass on the staircase. But Dru’s sick enough to still have an amused smile on his face.

Everywhere hurts, but I can’t even focus on my own pain when I still want to cause Dru more. Jared holds me back like he knows. Dru props himself slowly on his elbows, shaking his head.

“Did you two talk? Did she finally give you that number Styles? What did she say about me? I’m a monster, I fucked her up? She’s a manipulative bitch-”

“Shut the fuck up-” I jump up but Jared pulls me back again and his hand presses a sore spot on my ribs, I crumple on the step.

“She really did a number on you didn’t she?” Dru sits up. “She knows how to get in your head. Did she tell you I lied? She was obsessed with me Harry, she was a clingy bitch and you don’t know her-”

“I know her,” I use the banister to stand up. “I’ve been working with her since I started my new job, I know her more than you ever did. You were wrong about her. About everything, you only ever gave me shitty advice.”

It gives me satisfaction, seeing the look on Dru’s face. I’d caught him by surprise, he really never knew. “So you’re keeping secrets from me now? You’re letting her come between us?”

“I don’t owe you shite. You’re nothing to me,” I walk over to him still sitting on the ground. “Don’t you ever put her name in your fucking mouth. And if I ever see you talking to her, looking at her, you won’t be able to tell your face from your arse. I know exactly what you are, I can’t believe I was so blind this whole time...you’re fucking dead to me Dru.”

It takes a moment for Dru to focus on me, “I’ll see what happens when she breaks your heart, you won’t have me around when that happens. And it will happen, she’s a slut who’s going to-”

I’m out of body when I swing my fist at his face and it makes a sickening crunch. Dru howls in pain and I stumble back, my fist throbbing in hot flashes.

“Enough!” Jared shouts, jumping in between us. When Dru goes to say something about me Jared blocks Dru from my view. “Enough you fucking dick! Enough! You’ve done enough!”

Dru shuts up; in all the years I’d known them, Jared never raised his voice at his younger brother. I’d heard them bicker plenty, arguing behind closed doors, but Jared never shouted at him like this. The shock is enough to push me out of the fog I was in.

The pain comes to me all at once, I was pretty sure my ribs were badly bruised, and blood gushes down my cheek. My hand feels useless, like the bones had turned to dust.

“Both of you are shutting the fuck up, and getting into the car. I’m driving you both to hospital because Harry’s taken a beating and Dru your nose is broken at the least.”

“I don’t-”

“No,” Jared says calmly to his brother. “In the car. Now. Not a word out of both of you.”

“Shotgun,” Andrew says weakly. Jared throws his jacket in his face and looks back at me. I follow him silently and get into the backseat. ***

Y/N:

I knock and knock but nobody answers the door. I stare at my phone, but I didn’t even have Harry’s number. I move the bottle from one hand to the other, knocking and I take a step back when a face I wasn’t expecting answers the door. It’s Dru, his face is massively discoloured, his nose is bruised and a gash on his cheek is stuck closed with steri-strips.

His grin sends cold dread through my body.

“Looking for your lover boy?” he asks me when I go silent. I stare at his face, at everything that Harry had done and he notices. “He’s good with his hands, but I’m sure you already know that.”

“Y/N,” Jared’s voice comes from behind Dru. “Sorry I was in the shower. Are you looking for Harry?”

It was unreal, how Jared walks up to the door like Dru wasn’t even there. He steps around his brother and in front of him, as if he’d been the one to open the door. I head Dru scoff, mutter something distasteful and move back up the steps.

“Yeah,” I clear my throat when the word gets stuck. “Yeah, uhm, is he here?”

“He moved, you haven’t got his number?” I shake my head no and he texts it to me along with his new address, I have no idea how Dru had my number. He look behind him before stepping towards me, closing the door behind him.

“Y/N, I just want to say I’m sorry. The way my brother treated you, it was wrong. And I should’ve said something to him earlier, but by the time I did it was too late. And then you two broke up and...I know Dru’s younger than me but growing up the way we did...it’s not always been the easiest to stand up to him.”

“Oh,” I wasn’t expecting such a confession.

“Too little, too late—I know. Rowan...she’s not happy with me. I would never hurt her—I’m not trying to get you on my side or anything but I just want to let you know. She said she needed space and it’s made me realize how stupid I’ve been not paying attention to her earlier and...” Jared trails off when he noticed my surprised face. Jared had never said this many words to me, and I also didn’t know Rowan had asked him for space. It was touching.

“I’m talking a lot aren’t I?” He laughs, ducking his head. “You’re probably itching to get to Harry but...I just want to make sure you know I’m sorry. Truly sorry.”

“Thank you,” I say stiffly, not quite sure what to do with his apology. This was the most we ever spoke and he got vulnerable very quickly. Maybe I would speak to Rowan about this break she’s on.

We depart awkwardly and I map out Harry’s new address, it’s less than a 20 minute walk so I go on foot.

My hands nearly drop the bottle in my hand twice, slick with sweat and distracted as I turn the last corner to Harry’s street. A housing complex with a staircase leading to the top level leaves me even more winded by the time I get to the top. I knock and wait a few minutes, just when I think I’m out of luck a movement behind the door stops me from going back down the horrible stairs.

“Y/N,” Harry says from behind the crack in the door he’s opened up.

“Hiya,” I say awkwardly, waiting for the door to open the rest of the way. When it doesn’t, I continue. “Jared gave me your new address...are you free?”

“I don’t know if it’s a good time,” Harry says.

“Right,” shite. “Right, of course sorry I should’ve called. I’ll go, talk to you later. Oh wait, this bottle’s for you and...” Harry still doesn’t open the door wider than a crack so I leave it on the doorstep and scurry down the steps.

What the fuck was that?

By the time I reach home, takeout in hand, my phone lights up with a notification:

Thanks for the wine, I can’t drink it right now with the pills I’m on but maybe I’ll wait to drink it with you.

I don’t know what to say to it, I had this whole speech planned to say in person and now it’s got nowhere to go. I simply heart the message and put my phone away, confused and a little heartbroken.

***

Harry doesn’t show up to work on Monday, apparently he’s out sick. He’s also not in a Tuesday meeting and I would’ve gotten worried but my manager tells me he was working from home. He’d had an injury.

“By the way,” she tells me as I head back after the meeting. “I’m liking the cooperation between you two. I don’t know what you two did to finally get over being enemies but I owe Miriam a big thank you.”

I choke out a laugh, “We realized we’re on the same team.” And even as I say it I realize it, we were on the same team now; he knew about Dru. But I still felt unsettled that he didn’t let me in on Sunday.

I get back to work, happy with the acknowledgement and hoping it gets me somewhere with a promotion. But work is slow moving without Harry, I realize I miss working closely with him. Or popping by his desk to bother him. I take out my phone to text him but upon rereading his strangely removed text he sent on Sunday, I decide against it.

I pour myself a glass of wine as soon as I get home, putting in a load of laundry and taking the work day off. As I’m going to heat dinner, there’s a knock at my door. Somehow, I think I know who it is.

Harry, bruises fading on his face and stitches on his cheek, leans on the doorframe with a massive bouquet in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he says as soon as I open the door.

“I…” I suddenly don’t know what to say. “Do you want to come in?”

He peeks behind me, into my safe space. His expression is unreadable but I don’t know if that’s because of how nervous I am. He looks at me for a solid minute.

“I can’t,” he sighs. “I just want to give you these. And say I’m sorry. About everything. And for shooing you away on Sunday—I looked fucking grisly, I was embarassed and…yeah. I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Okay,” I say tentatively. I take the flowers from his outstretched hand. He flashes me a smile, pushing away from the wall to leave. “Wait.” I stop him from going. “Why can’t you come in? It’s not my murder house.”

“No? Is that a few doors down?”

“It’s actually in the basement if you must know.” I grin. This felt okay.

But he sighs, “I can’t come in Y/N. Not right now, okay?” He brushes back a lock of my hair back and I realize I was no longer wearing any makeup, and my sweatpants definitely had a few questionable holes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” I whisper. I watch him hobble off.

The bouquet goes in two vases of water because they’re too big for just one. I keep them on my coffee table and I can’t stop staring at them all night long.

***

“It makes you look rugged, just hit up a few pubs with that mug and you’ll have yourself a girlfriend in no time,” a few colleagues stand around Harry in the kitchen examining his fading bruises. Even though my own floor has a kitchen, I came to his for a tea in hopes of bumping into him. I don’t think he’s noticed me yet since his back’s to me.

“Who’s telling you I need a girlfriend?” Harry laughs.

“Mate,” a few people laugh too. “You’re oozing single bachelor. You never come out to drink with us either, you’re the resident mystery man.”

“Yeah he doesn’t ever come out with us does he?”

“Maybe he does have a missus at home.”

“Not with the way him and Y/N are always going at it, those two are like an old couple. Have you heard ‘em?”

“Yeah what is it between you two?”

“Harry’s a pain to be around,” I finally say. Everyone turns towards me, and when Harry’s eyes finally meet mine there’s an inside joke there.

“I’m in pain when you’re around,” he shoots back.

“That’s because someone finally did something about your face,” I motion to his bruises.

“Oh there they go,” someone grumbles and it doesn’t take long for them to disappear.

“Hello,” I say as Harry approaches the counter. “Was that last hit too fresh?”

“My doctors say it’s healing.”

“Mmm this team of doctors you seem to have.”

He smiles at the reference to an old joke and we stand in silence until I ask him.

“And you? You alright?” I busy myself with steeping my tea, not wanting to know if he wasn’t okay with me anymore.

“Yeah, it’s an oxymoron but I got most of my healing done with some violence. Don’t recommend it but it did feel good. You?”

“Oh,” I look up. “I’m…closer to alright than I was before.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Harry briefly touches his pinky to mine. I get we can’t do anything right now in the workplace, but my sudden urge to go around the counter and hug him tightly scares me.

“You’ve already done a lot,” I link my pinky with his instead when he doesn’t move it away. “It’s just…a me thing.”

“Y/N I am sorry I-“

“Harry,” I cut him off. “It’s okay.”

“But I should’ve-“

“Stop,” I tug his pinky. “It’s neither of our faults.”

“Imagine how different everything could’ve-“

“Don’t do that either,” I pick up my tea and finally walk around to his side. “Trust me, you won’t come up for air in time if you drown yourself in that.”

He sighs. “I think I have been.” We begin walking towards his desk in silence, thinking about this last week. Even though I’m left reeling with all the new information, with the what-ifs and could-haves, I also feel like I could finally close a chapter. I had read it aloud to people I trusted and they believed me. They had my back. I felt supported and I felt stronger in the face of my past than I had in a long time.

“This is me,” Harry says outside his department. When I notice none of his team was around I motion my head towards his desk. We walk in.

“You don’t have to punish yourself y’know that?”

Harry puts his mug down on his desk and stares at me with so much sadness it makes my heart hurt. I realize on the way to his desk that’s what he had been doing, that’s why he wouldn’t let me see him. I’d done enough self-punishing, I knew it wasn’t effective at all.

“I sort of feel like I deserve it.”

“Oh Harry,” I put my mug down and finally give in to that hug. And it nearly takes my breath away when he wraps his arms around my waist, rests his head on mine. It felt so right. Dru had fucked both of us over, but we had found each other even if it was just as friends.

“I’m sorry-“ Harry chokes out before his body shudders and I squeeze him even tighter. I pray nobody walks in because I needed this as much as he did. I keep my own tears locked up tight, not prepared to ruin this morning’s makeup. I just hold him for as long as he needs.

“I should be comforting you,” Harry says, his voice a bit stuffy.

“Nah, things are getting better,” I say as he sits down. Now I’m looking down at him. His eyes are pink but it only adds to his bruised look. He takes ahold of my hand, strokes my knuckles.

“You really squeezed my broken rib,” is not what I expect him to say but he always knew how to surprise me.

“I’m so sorry,” I take a step back. “Are you okay? Did I break it again?”

“As if you could break my ribs, you’re too weak for that.”

“Who are you calling weak?” I demand. “I could flip you over now if I wanted.”

“The only flipping you’re capable of is-“ Harry holds up both fingers and I can’t stop my mouth from falling open.

“Seriously you two?” Harry’s teammate walks in on the scene, Harry flipping me off. “It’s bloody 9am.”

I laugh, and so does he. I apologize for the early morning profanity and head towards the door.

“Y/N,” Harry takes two long strides to reach me, away from his colleague who’s settling into her desk. “You forgot your drink.”

“Right,” I take it from his hands, mischief twinkling in his eye. We had inside jokes now.

“I’m okay by the way,” he says to just me. “My ribs were only bruised. I’ll see you later okay?”

I don’t even hide my smile as I walk to the lift.

***

“Y/N,” my name snaps me out of the focused state I’d been in. “Have you finally lost your mind?”

“It’s perfectly intact thank you,” I roll my eyes at Harry, leaning over my desk. “Did you want something?”

“Ehm yeah, it’s end of the day?”

I look at the time: 5:10. When did that happen. “Lost track of time.”

“I’m following you home,” Harry says as I gather my things and start walking to the lifts.

“Did you just invite yourself over?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Sort of,” he has the decency to blush. “I just want to be around…” he trails off as a few of our colleagues join us in the wait for the lift. I want him to finish his sentence so bad but we file into the lift silently and listen to the chatter going on in front of us. Harry brushes his hand against mine but when I glance at him he stares ahead. I can tell he notices me looking when his lips twitch.

I pinch his hand and he yanks it back, “Ow!”

The group quiets and turn to him. He gives an awkward smile, “pinched my finger.”

As soon as the chatter resumes he glares at me but I smile sweetly and stare ahead.

“How did I ever think you were sweet?” Harry says as he follows me out of the building and towards the station.

“I am. You force me to forget my sweet nature,” I shrug.

He bumps into me, “I think I romanticized you too much in my head. You’re really a prickly cactus.”

“Me!? A prickly cactus??” I push him playfully, not entirely forgetting the rest of his words. We part as the crowd sheppards us into the station and onto the tube. We stand side by side close to the doors. “If I’m a prickly cactus, I’m just protecting myself from assholes.”

“That’s not me.” Harry wraps his arm around my shoulder in the close quarters of the tube and my insides go liquid. “Let me in little cactus. We can protect each other.”

I look up at him as the tube rushes to its next destination, and smile. Because even though we’re joking he’s still serious. And it’s seriously sweet.

He notices me looking and raises an eyebrow, “Well?”

“Fine,” I say with a smile on my face. It falls when he presses a kiss to my forehead, my body flushing with heat.

“Good,” he whispers to me. He pulls me closer into the ring of his arms and I have to say it’s the safest tube ride I’d ever had.

***

“Here’s home,” I say once we reach my flat. The 5 minute walk to my flat was pretty silent. Harry had grabbed ahold of my hand as soon as we left the station and with my insides buzzing I couldn’t think of a single thing to talk about. Harry seemed content in the silence.

“It’s very you,” Harry comments. “That’s a lot of books. And blankets.”

My sofa had half a dozen throws and behind my sofa were stacks of books growing up from the ground; impractical but I never got around to installing shelves. Eventually I liked the way they looked and kept them on the floor.

“I’m in publishing,” I shrug. “Books are my life!”

He flicks through the top few and suddenly I’m nervous that he’s here. So much has happened. He was twenty-one, my innocent saviour on a memorably bad day. He was a thorn in my side, and then he wasn’t. He saw me for who I was, not who people said I was. I think I loved him for it. The intensity of that last emotion sends me into my room, mumbling about changing into something more comfortable.

I sit on my bed, making sure my thoughts were actually my own. This was really something I thought.

But it comes to me so easily, it’s like the drawbridge had lifted and the ship carrying all my baggage was on it’s way out. It left behind so much space and I finally saw so much so clearly. Harry and I had a boatload of twisted history, we were always in each other’s peripheral. Now he was here. In front of me. It was scary and exhilerating.

“Do you want dinner?” I ask as I walk back out in a sweatshirt and leggings.

Harry’s standing by my gallery wall, my certificates and art, and photos of loved ones all gathered above my desk.

“I remember her,” he says sadly. He points at me in a photo from a Halloween party in my second semester. It was the first time I went a whole night with zero anxiety, I loved the new friends I made. It held a special place in my heart. “Look there’s me.”

“What?” I move closer, there’s no way I’ve had a photo hanging on my wall with Harry in it for the last 3 years.

But he’s right, in the background slightly cut off is Harry with Jared and someone else I don’t know. Him and Jared are dressed as what looks like Peaky Blinders characters, he’s smiling and when I take the frame off the wall and look closer I notice he’s smiling in the direction he’s looking in and that happens to be where I’m kneeling. He had been right there and I never even knew.

“Wow,” I say. “I never recognized you there.”

Harry takes the photo from me, he stares at it for a long time.

“Dru, he told me back then I wouldn’t have wanted Endgame at 18, 19 whatever. But I don’t think I would have minded.”

“What?” My mind slows down, trying to understand.

“When he was…manipulating me. He told me I wouldn’t want someone like you. I was young! I could be free and not tied down. I didn’t want endgame at that age. But I think I did. I was just too blinded, and scared, to go for it.”

“Are you scared now?” I ask him.

“What? No.”

“So go for it now,” I point to him in the photo. “He’d be proud.”

He looks at his younger self for a moment, lost in thought, and then slowly puts the frame down. He stares at me, a million thoughts behind his eyes. He was overthinking it, I realize. I link my fingers through his belt loops and tug him towards me and it snaps him out of it. His hand cups my face gently and he finally kisses me. It’s unlike any kiss I’d ever have, I feel every emotion he’s trying to say as he presses into me. I feel every heartbeat that ached for me in the way he holds me. It’s gentle, yet passionate, and I was drunk on it.

“Wow,” I breathe when he pulls away. From the dazed look on his face I can tell he feels the same.

“I think I lo-“

I shut him up by pressing another kiss to his lips and he reacts by pushing me into the wall. When we part again I brush his hair off his forehead.

“I love you,” I say even though it makes me want to shit myself.

He freezes for a moment before closing his eyes, a smile creeping onto his lips. “That’s not fair.”

“It is,” I grin. “I said it first.”

“You stopped me from saying it first!”

“I win,” I pull him back to me but he tilts his head to the side so my lips brush his cheek instead. “Sore loser!”

“That was not fair play,” he whines again.

“Who said I play fair?” I challenge him. “I love you! I even said it to you second.”

“No wait!” I slip away from his arms and saunter away. I hear him come up from behind and he pulls my waist back so my back is flush against his chest. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

With each time, he presses a kiss into my neck and I’m jelly in his hands.

“3-5 is me,” he says as he turns me around.

“I was still first,” I say but with less conviction as I come to face him this close.

“Cheater,” he mumbles into my neck.

“I’ll break your ribs again,” I threaten but it sounds like a joke the way it comes out of my mouth.

“As long as it’s not my heart,” he says and even though it’s a joke I can hear the doubt. The past seeping into the present.

“Hey,” I push him away so we’re looking at each other. “I never would have. And I never will.”

He nods but I hold his face in my hands. His hands come up to grip my arms. “Harry, I might be a prickly cactus but you know I’d never hurt you. That wasn’t me.”

He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I know. And I’m not him. You’re the air in my lungs Y/N, if I can have you, I’ll never let you go.”

“You have me,” I swear.

This time the kiss is slower, a promise to each other, to stay tender. We move that way into the bedroom, under the covers. He’s perfect. His hands roam every inch, and then his lips. By the time his hands grasp mine in the sheets, I’m blissed out of my mind. But he takes his time and I savour it, even when he whispers about forever.

***

Harry:

“Something’s changed.” O’Neil states in the middle of our last meeting with him. “You two are calmer together. Have you finally slept together?”

Y/N’s cheeks burn with embarassment but before she can speak I laugh, “we finally figured things out.”

“Good.” He nods. “I like you two together. Even though you didn’t read my book.”

Now I turn red and Y/N barks a laugh. This makes O’Neil grin and Y/N kicks me under the table.

“He’s very good at reading notes,” she says, gloating that someone other than herself has finally called me out. “Unless you write moon, then it’s neon.”

“It’s all good,” O’Neil claps my shoulder as he stands. “You did my book justice. I know she’s the one that deserves the credit but you two are finally a team. Stay that way.”

“We plan to,” Y/N says. I stand with her as we see the author out of the final meeting. He shuts me up when I try to apologize and tells me privately to hold her close. I intend to.

“That was a success,” Y/N says as we tidy up the meeting room. “The book’s on shelves in four weeks and we made that happen.”

“We did,” I can’t help but lean over and plant a kiss on her cheek. I loved when she got flustered at work.

We thought nobody had noticed the change in us at work until last week when our manager asked if we had gone to HR yet. That was an awkward conversation but she didn’t seem too bothered so we’d made the trip to make our relationship work-official. Y/N and I had been spending a lot of time in her flat, wrapped in each other. Sometimes we went out with Jared and Rowan, and Rowan threatened me many times to be good to her. I told her to do the same with Jared.

After everything with Dru, Jared moved out as well because Rowan wouldn’t date him if she had to see Dru around every time she went over. I wasn’t sure what Dru was up to but I know Jared got lonely sometimes. I could never understand their relationship but I was happy to see him with Rowan, they were good for each other.

“What are you thinking about?” Y/N snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Stuff,” I say.

“Sounds juicy,” she teases.

“Might be,” I walk over to her, unable to keep my hands off of her. It was a problem at work since we tried to stay as professional as possible but here in the blacked out room I took the risk.

“Tell me more,” her eyes are glued to my lips as I lean into the table, towering over her.

I draw her into a deep kiss, her hands tangling in my hair which usually tips me over the edge. She knows it. She knows I know she knows it. So I step away instead and her sweet smile vanishes.

“Come back,” she reaches for me.

“I’ll see you at home,” I peck her on the lips and grab my laptop.

“Not fair!” She says after me.

“I’ve got a meeting and you,” I grin. “Have to learn to play fair.”

“You’ll regret this,” she crosses her arms, trying to look menacing.

“You look cute when you don’t get your way,” I say before opening the door and shifting into work mode again. “Great meeting!” I shout back as I leave the room. I wouldn’t see her until the end of the day and with her mounting frustration at me, I couldn’t wait for 5pm to come around.

[anonymous-dentist]

Yeah, I just have a hard time passing this off as ‘just a joke’ because… what’s the punchline? A former Trump supporter and his friend brought a 2024 Trump flag to be seen by thousands as a Christmas joke? Twitter is being ‘triggered’ again?

Dream has a history of picking the most immature option. He’s accused of grooming, and he decides to post ‘joking’ Tiktoks of doing things in the bathroom of his best friend’s little sister. He’s accused of cheating, he hires a fucking astrophysicist and refuses to take accountability. Someone says something mean about him, he responds publicly knowing that his fanbase is extremely loyal and willing to harass the person into deactivating.

Dream, at the very least, is an immature asshole. I think it’s real telling that not a single one of his peers publicly defended him or his character during the grooming allegations, especially considering BBH, when also accused of grooming, had several other peers come to defend his character. Sorry, I just get so frustrated thinking about Dream. How hard is it to not be an asshole? How hard is it to do some self-reflection?

I’m not gonna be someone who posts exclusively about how much Dream sucks because it’s pretty much common knowledge that he’s extremely immature at best and a literal criminal at worst.

But the thing with Dream and his current fanbase is that they’re effectively bully-proof. After years of having the entire internet set against them, they’ve developed this sort of mentality where they can’t be bullied. And I’m not saying that us bringing these points up is bullying, I’m saying that- to these people and to Dream himself- it is bullying.

All the things you mentioned have been brought up by people outside the community- by so-called antis. To Dream fans, these allegations have always been baseless. It’s just bullying. To an extent they’re right (the aftermath of the face reveal video, for one), but also? They aren’t! Nobody is immune to criticism. Is it bad to bring up things from ten years ago just to make someone look bad now? Yes, and cancel culture is a disease. But Dream is not immune to criticism just because he pretends that he cares about his community. He doesn’t even care about his job considering he hasn’t done it since the last time he was in MCC back in the summer.

The parasocialism involved in Dream’s fanbase is terrifying to see as an outsider. It’s even a little disturbing to see literal children defending someone accused of grooming because they see him as someone they actually know. And this was encouraged by Dream, as anyone who has seen his twitter literally ever knows. And his Snapchat.

Today on tiktok literally an hour after I posted my thing on the flag ordeal, I saw a video saying that giving a British man a Trump flag was a joke. It’s a gag. Twitter is too parasocial. It was just a joke.

Big surprise, just glancing at the profile showed the user was white and a minor. For that reason, I will not be revealing their identity (because, unlike some people, I don’t encourage the bullying and doxxing of minors.) But then most of the comments agreeing with them were also white and also minors. Many were queer, though not all.

It’s a worrying trend! I’m not a fan of it.

[fangirlwithlou]

OMG new chapter 😍😍

“Shut up, I barely know her” he was blushing, - love their sibling banter 🥺 and him maybe liking wheezie 🥰

“Why did your family move to OBX?” - dude … really the first thing you ask god

“No I am, and you should really fix that attitude, nobody likes a girl with a bad attitude” - hostile much haha but really can hear him saying this xD

Rafe looked confused as to why she didn’t even try to believe what he was saying, her new friend is a stranger to her, but she believed you were telling the truth. To Rafe it wasn’t important that you were really telling the truth, according to him you had no reason to tell Sarah about the interaction. - I love delusional rafe haha the audacity haha

Why was his dad praising a girl he had met once? Obviously, there was something wrong with you, for you to be able to trick Ward into liking you - Aww baby boy is sad bc his dad liked her better than him make sense for his behavior haha

and even though he was trying to cause problems, who was she to call him out for it? - love that we get his inner monologue

“I’m sorry, does that normally work on girls?” You asked him, you couldn’t help but giggle and remove his hand from your thigh. “I’ll see you at the party, yeah?” - they are both so feisty haha love the banter especially her being all fierce 😍

“Then why are you here”? He wondered who else here you knew, maybe some other boy, you were wearing a different and shorter skirt than earlier today, he wondered if you had worn that for some other boy. - the fact that he likes her or atleast is attracted to her but also do not like her bc of his dad. Hmm really feeling his inner struggle here haha

Everything about him was actually stupid, except maybe his face, that was quite attractive. - I live for this sentence hahaha

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you - he is very aggravating haha but smart to try to get between her and Sarah

He did believe you were a slut though. - so aggravating aghh he really has that whole girls who sleep around are sluts but boys who do are kings mentality!! Also like I said before love his inner monologue haha

(ps the smut was not bad keep going 😘)

Rafe briefly considered stopping, but he knew you thought he should stop, even though your body was disagreeing.  - he really is an asshole haha

“If you want to cum, you better earn it” Rafe whispered into your ear, he wanted you to moan. “Come on, be a good girl, let me hear those pretty little moans.” He was back to leaving marks on your neck and breasts, it was all too much for you. “I’ll stop if you start making some noise” Rafe threatened you, you should stop this, you were risking your friendship with Sarah over this, just so Rafe could make you cum. You let out whimpers, hoping Sarah was gone because you couldn’t hold your moans in, Rafe was overstimulating you. - darling so hot 🥵 I am gonna forgive him haha bc this was hot the dirty talk 👌🏼

“Good girl, you should always be this obedient” - ofc he thinks this aghh

“No it’s fine, don’t worry about me” He interrupted you, smiling at you, again with that smile that resembled Wards too much. What was in this for him if he didn’t get something out of it, boys were always so needy. - omg yeah he does 100% have an alternative motive bc god this is not how most guys work haha and the comment about him looking like Ward that shit is scary 😁

Darling this was great!!! Aghh I am so fucking invested, can not wait to get to know more about these character and what the fuck rafe want with her and what will happened if Sarah finds out about this and omg 😍😍

meeting rafe

summary: Your life is turned upside down when your family moves to the OBX with your mother's new husband, who is close friends with Ward Cameron. While you befriend Sarah, Rafe becomes obsessed with you and everybody knows he’s willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, which happens to be you. warnings: drug use, toxic rafe, drinking, violence, smut, dysfunctional families & mommy issues, slight dub-con

a/n: This is a part of series, I linked the series <3 this felt rushed, but I hope y'all like it!!! also sorry for my betrayal of Sarah towards the end... I promise I'll make up for it <333 Also there's cringy smut towards the end, I tried my best to write it.

series

It had now been two days since you met Sarah and her family, and while you and Sarah had been cooped up in her room, you found out your brother and Wheezie had become good friends, she was supposed to come over today. Sarah said she would show you around town later today, so now you were just waiting around till she got here. “So you and Wheezie, huh?” you questioned your younger brother, “Shut up, I barely know her” he was blushing, you knew there probably wasn’t anything going on between them, but you couldn’t help but make fun of it. “She’s actually on her way right now, so please don’t say anything embarrassing” He pleaded, and then the doorbell rang. Your brother wanted you to get the door, apparently opening the door is too embarrassing. 

When you opened the door you were met with Wheezie and a tall boy dressed in preppy clothes was looking accusingly at you like you had already done something to offend him. You welcomed Wheezie in, asking Wheezie why Sarah wasn’t dropping her off.

“Sarah wasn’t home, so I had to drop her off” the boy who you assumed to be Rafe, “I’m Rafe, her brother, we didn’t get a chance to meet the other day” He introduced himself, with a smile that resembled his dads too much. “Yeah, nice to meet you I’m Y/N” you introduced yourself, as Wheezie and your brother hurried away to the living room. 

You expected Rafe to leave, but he stayed put. He was still looking at you with the same accusingly look. “Why did your family move to OBX?” He asked you bluntly, you wanted to get out of this convo, the last thing you wanted to was be integrated by some strange boy in a stupid polo and a backwards cap on. If looks could kill, you would definitely be dead right now, there was absolutely no reason for him to have this attitude towards you.

“My mum and her new husband wanted to move her,” You told him, “Why do you ask?” You questioned him now, he stepped inside and stood way too close to you. “I like to know what goes on around here, not much happens without me knowing,” He told you, he reeked of arrogance. He still stood too close to you, he was way taller than you and you should definitely move away, but you weren’t going to make it seem like you were intimidated by him and his stupid preppy clothes. You could already tell why Sarah told you to stay away from him.

“You know, Outer banks isn’t so welcoming to outsiders, especially not the ones that don’t keep to themselves” He was staring down at you at this point, and you deeply regretted opening the door. You stepped away from him, you were so close to him you could smell whatever preppy cologne he was wearing. “It seems like you’re the one that’s not keeping to yourself?” You mirrored his attitude, you weren’t going to let him talk to you like that. “No I am, and you should really fix that attitude, nobody likes a girl with a bad attitude” He was basically lecturing you on your behaviour, maybe he should take a look in the mirror, who was he to correct you? and who said you wanted him to like you, so yeah you were definitely going to be keeping up with this attitude.

“Well this was nice, but I really gotta go now, I’ll see you around Y/N,” He said, looking you up and down before getting in his truck. 

You didn’t even get a chance to say anything back before he was in his truck, you were left dumbfounded over this ridiculous interaction. Never had you ever met someone as arrogant as him, you figured he could act as he wanted because of who his dad was, but that just made it even worse. You couldn’t wait for Sarah to pick you up, so you could tell her all about your meeting with her brother. If you had learned anything about what Sarah told you about kooks, he was absolutely the ultimate kook.

“I mean what’s his problem even, he’s acting like I already did something wrong? It wasn't even my choice to move here,” You were complaining to Sarah about your meeting with Rafe, she was driving the both of you to meet her friends. “I do a nice thing and open the door, and then I get told I have to keep to myself?” You were truly surprised at his behaviour, but no longer surprised about Sarah's attitude towards him. “Is he always like this? He was literally looking at me like I already tried to ruin his life, just by opening the door.” You kept complaining and Sarah was just agreeing with what you were saying, his behaviour didn’t seem to phase her.

“He always says he’s going to be better, that he’s changing, but yes, he’s always been this way. Rafe doesn’t like new people, but luckily for you, he doesn’t get to scare off friends.” She told you with a comforting smile, she told you not to think about your interaction with Rafe, it was meaningless and he had probably already forgotten about you, but for some reason, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

After Sarah had brought you to meet her friends, she had dropped you off at your house, now driving back to Tannyhill. She wasn’t sure if you liked them or if they even liked you, JJ made some comment about kooks outnumbering them in the friend group soon. Sarah thought you were nice, and she hoped they were going to be accepting towards you, but she knew it was going to take some time for them to open up to you, but she didn’t mind. 

“What are you doing here?” Sarah asked Rafe, he was in her room, which was unusual. “Who is your new friend?” He asked her, leaning on her dresser. “I met her when I dropped Wheezie off, terrible attitude, not someone you should hang out with,” Rafe criticized as if he was trying to look out for Sarah. Rafe disapproved of Sarah's pogue friends, and now he disapproved of her new kook friend, but he was the last one she would ask for advice for, especially when it came to friends. “Y/N told me the same thing, that you were rude for no reason.” Sarah defended you, Rafe was the last one to be a judge of character, he certainly wasn’t anywhere near perfect. Rafe looked confused as to why she didn’t even try to believe what he was saying, her new friend is a stranger to her, but she believed you were telling the truth. To Rafe it wasn’t important that you were really telling the truth, according to him you had no reason to tell Sarah about the interaction. 

“She’s lying, I try to be nice and make small talk, I ask her why her family moved to OBX and she acts like I was insulting her for being curious.” Rafe was defending himself, lying straight to Sarah's face. Rafe didn’t actually care why you moved to OBX or what your family was doing here, he wanted to know why an old friend of Ward's suddenly is back in his life, doing business with him. When Rafe overheard Ward telling Rose how happy he is that you and Sarah were friends because you seemed like such a clever and bright girl, it bothered Rafe. Why was his dad praising a girl he had met once? Obviously, there was something wrong with you, for you to be able to trick Ward into liking you. “Rafe, why would she randomly lie, she just moved here. It would be weird if she just started making things up?” Sarah wondered if you maybe had over-exaggerated about the incident, she knew Rafe was defensive, so maybe you were also defensive, or just a simple misunderstanding happened between the two of you. Whatever Rafes problem with you was, Sarah really didn’t care, there was only a handful of people Rafe could tolerate and only a handful of people that could tolerate Rafe.

“Can’t believe you’re taking her word over mine, you always think I’m trying to cause problems” Rafe argued and left her room, and even though he was trying to cause problems, who was she to call him out for it? 

He didn’t even see it as him trying to cause problems, he was just trying to figure out why your family was so determined to be close to his family. You shouldn’t have ran to Sarah and told her about what he said, there was no reason for you two. He knew he wasn’t the one creating problems, you were. He shouldn’t let your presence bother him, he had better things to do than worry about some new kook bitch. 

“Hey, hey wait up” you heard a voice behind you as you were about to get in your car. You were out running errands for your mum by yourself and didn't expect to see anyone you knew so you were confused, but then you saw it was none other than Rafe Cameron coming towards you. You wanted to just get into the car and drive away, but your curiosity always got the best of you, so you waited for him. You knew what everyone always said curiosity killed the cat so you were probably dumb for waiting.

“So about the other day, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.” He lied, but you didn't know that, Rafe didn’t believe he ever had anything to be sorry for, Rafe thought that if anyone should be saying sorry, it should be you. He wasn’t even sure why he was faking an apology, but he did know he didn’t want his dad to hear about how he was rude to you.

“It’s fine, don’t sweat it,” you told him, wanting this conversation to end.

“I’m just not used to new people moving here, most people that just randomly show up and try to get close to my family don’t have the best of intentions, but I’m sure your family is so different” He was smiling at you like he didn't just insult your family. You were confused why he would apologise about the other day, just to make the same kind of comments. “You don’t have to worry about my family, we don’t have some kind of ulterior motive for coming here.” You told him, getting in your car. He was way too interested in your family, you didn’t understand why he wouldn’t ask his dad if he was so damn curious. Suddenly your car door opened, “Wait, you know what, I swear I’ll be on my best behaviour, no comments anymore” He told you, with a sweet smile. For some reason he was trying to get you not to leave, he couldn't possibly think you wanted to continue with this conversation.

“There is actually a party tonight, you should come, that way we can get to know each other better,” He said, looking you up and down. Why was he inviting you to a party and why was he looking you up and down? You certainly weren’t going to go, Sarah told you to stay away from him and there was no reason for you to ignore that advice.

“I don’t know, I have plans tonight, sorry,” You thought a party sounded fun, but going to a party he invited you to, did not seem fun. “Please, I promise it will be fun” He pleaded, putting a hand on your exposed thigh, why did you have to wear a skirt? You were surprised he put a hand on your thigh, you couldn’t help but laugh at it.

“I’m sorry, does that normally work on girls?” You asked him, you couldn’t help but giggle and remove his hand from your thigh. “I’ll see you at the party, yeah?” Rafe ignored your question and closed your car door and walked away.

God, why can’t you have a normal interaction with this boy? On the drive home, it felt like Rafe's hand was still on your thigh, his smell from being too close to him, it felt like he was all over you, and you wanted to shake the thoughts of him. How does he go from telling you to keep to yourself, to putting his hand on your thigh, the worst part of it was how undeniably attractive he was, but you refused to think about him that way. He was an attractive asshole, and you had dealt with enough of those, OBX is a new start and no boys will distract you. Even though he was already distracting you, polluting your thoughts.

You just arrived at Sarah's house and you get a notification from an unknown number with the details of the party, how did he get your number? You didn’t answer the text, leaving him on read. There is no way he wanted you at this party, it seemed like a trap, you didn’t know why you even thought he was trying to plan a trap, but you Rafe didn’t exactly give off the vibes that he was trying to be your new best friend.

“So, there’s this party tonight,” Sarah interrupted your thoughts whilst she was picking out an outfit. “And I definitely think we should go.” She insisted, with a big smile on her face, not knowing her brother invited you first. Now that Sarah invited you, you wanted to go, but what if you went and Rafe thought you came because he invited you?

You didn’t know if you should tell Sarah that Rafe already invited you, luckily Sarah didn’t know you well enough to read your face, so if you decided to lie about why you didn’t want to go to the party, you could shrug it off as not being comfortable being the new girl. Going to a party did sound nice though, and you would love to get to know other people, not that Sarah being your only friend here was a problem. You could dress up cute and get way too wasted, isn’t that what summer is all about, maybe even find a cute summer fling.

“You’re thinking about it way too long, you have to go.” Sarah said, and she was right, you shouldn’t even be thinking of not going, it didn’t matter if her stupid brother was going to be there or not. “I’m just weighing the pros and cons, but yes, I’ll come.” You told her and her face lit up. “Perfect, I’ll help you pick out the perfect outfit and I luckily have a fake ID, so we can pick up some alcohol and get tipsy before we get there.” 

The two of you had just arrived at the party, after using too long to get ready and since you had snuck alcohol to drink while you were getting ready, the both of you were tipsy and giggly. "So, so is this the kooks?" you whispered or tried to. You were bad at whispering, especially after having a few drinks and Sarah nodded. "So your pogue friends coming?" You asked her, you still couldn't quite understand the kooks vs pogues thing, it seemed childish. She gave you a look like you said something insane, "God no, they would laugh their asses off if I told them I was going to a kooks party, but anything for you" She joked, but frankly it didn't make sense the wealthiest girl was best friends with the pogues, who were dirt poor. "Okay you stay here and mingle, I'll get us drinks' and before you could go with her or protest she disappeared through the crowd of people. 

You looked around, you felt so awkward. It wasn't like you were some shy girl, but you quite literally knew nobody here and being the girl nobody knows standing all by herself has to look embarrassingly sad. 

"You came" You heard an all too familiar voice, and of course, it was none other than Rafe Cameron smiling at you. 

“I didn’t come here because you invited me” You felt the need to make sure he didn’t think you were here because he invited him. “Then why are you here”? He wondered who else here you knew, maybe some other boy, you were wearing a different and shorter skirt than earlier today, he wondered if you had worn that for some other boy. “Sarah invited me, she said I had to come.” You answered him, really needing a drink, how long could getting two drinks take? “You look like you need a drink, come” He was right, you needed a drink but you were waiting for Sarah and no way you were going somewhere with him. “No it’s fine, Sarah is getting me a drink” You couldn’t wait for Sarah to come back, it really couldn't take this long to find something to drink, maybe she had run into some people she knew. 

“Are you sure? I just saw her out back talking to some of her friends,” Rafe asked you, “Just come on, I’ll get you something to drink” Rafe seemed annoyed at you being reluctant to go with him, but who could blame you, he was a complete stranger, an attractive stranger, but a stranger. Fuck it you thought and went with him to get something to drink, Sarah did tell you to mingle with people. You couldn’t help but wonder why Rafe was suddenly being so nice and open towards you, inviting you to a party and now getting you something to drink, maybe you had just come off the wrong foot.

“How long has your family known my dad?” Rafe asked you while pouring a drink, with a little too much vodka. You weren’t even surprised at his questions now, what was his plan? get you drunk and get you to confess all your deepest darkest secrets, because jokes on him, you have none. “I don’t know Rafe, I think Ward and my mum's bf have known each other since they were kids” You answered him, you really didn’t know much about Roger's personal life and you really didn’t care.

“Why are you so obsessed with my family?” You questioned Rafe, you definitely would have asked nicer if you were sober, but you weren’t. There is no way he was this protective over his family and fromwhat you heard from Sarah, and the fight between him and his dad you overheard, you couldn't understand why he went so much out of his way to protect them.

“Why are you obsessed with mine?” Rafe just repeated your question, god he was aggravating. Being drunk didn’t help, his stupid preppy clothes suddenly didn’t help, his stupid cologne and his stupid attituide. Everything about him was actually stupid, except maybe his face, that was quite attractive.

Why did he even think you were obsessed with his family? You literally just befriended the one girl your age you knew in this town, he is the one that kept coming over to bother you. “Don’t answer a question with a question, you’re the one that is obsessively asking me questions.” You expressed your annoyance with him while sipping your drink. You were definitely not drunk enough to forget about this conversation tomorrow, but God you were trying to get there, why were you even entertaining a conversation with him, must be the alcohol you told yourself. 

“Let’s talk somewhere more private” He didn’t ask you, more just telling you what to do. You were thinking of getting a cute summer fling, it’s not like you had to stay away from him, Sarah didn’t even say you had to stay away from him, simply advised you to.

“I should find Sarah,” You told him, starting to walk away. She was definitely looking for you, it has been more than 15 minutes since she went to find something to drink. “No, no wait. Don’t be clinging onto Sarah, it’s sad really. If she wanted to hang out with you, don’t you think she would have found you by now? She left your side the moment you arrived” Rafe was lying to you, trying to make Sarah seem like the bad person. In your drunken state his words made sense, why would she just leave your side and go outside to talk to other people, she could have texted you where she was or came to get you before she went to talk to her other friends. You had known her for not even a week so it wasn’t even like she had to stay by your side, you couldn’t be mad at her, she didn’t owe you anything.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you” he was suddenly way too close to you, holding onto your waist. You should walk away, but there was not an inch in your body that wanted to move while your brain was screaming at you. 

Suddenly you were in a stranger's bathroom with a stranger, or well with Rafe. His hands were all over you, his lips on your neck, hands on your body. Ending up with Rafe leaving marks on your neck was not the night you had planned, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

“Good thing you wore a skirt” and suddenly Rafe's hand was between your legs pressing at your clit and you let out a moan. Suddenly he plunged two fingers into you and started to fingering you, you closed your eyes trying to hold in your moans, you couldn’t believe Rafe was making you feel this way.

“No no, open your eyes and look at me” He grabbed your chin and forced you to look him in the eyes, you felt pathetic at how easy it was for Rafe to get you into a bathroom with him. You were trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to risk the party going on at the other side of the wall hearing you moaning over Rafe fucking you with his fingers, but then he started rubbing your clit and you buried your head in his shoulder to muffle your moans, “Rafe please” you pleaded, it was too much, it had been too long since somebody fucked you properly. “Please what, use your words” He grabbed your chin again, God he had a thing for eye contact. 

As Rafe hadn’t known before, he still didn’t know why he had an interest in you or why he was even fingering in a bathroom at a party. He was sure this interest would pass, you were just his new interesting toy, nothing more, the new a figure 8s slut. And he didn’t believe you were actually stupid enough to believe his lies about Sarah not wanting to hang out with you, he had told Sarah the thing as he told you, Y/N is out back looking for you. Maybe you were naive enough to believe his lies, but he didn’t think you were that dense. He did believe you were a slut though.

Suddenly a knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts, “Occupied” he yelled out, not even slowing down while he fingered you. “Rafe, get out” shit it was Sarah, you were mortified, shit shit shit, you couldn't believe out of all the people who were knocking on the door, it was Sarah. “Find another bathroom” Rafe yelled out and started rubbing your clit, you had to bit your lip hard so you wouldn’t make a sound, whimpers escaping. You tried to push Rafe's hand away, but he wasn’t moving, somehow he found humour in this, your new friendship being ruined if Sarah found out what was happeningon the other side of the door. Rafe felt you clenching around his fingers, you were close.

Rafe briefly considered stopping, but he knew you thought he should stop, even though your body was disagreeing. 

“If you want to cum, you better earn it” Rafe whispered into your ear, he wanted you to moan. “Come on, be a good girl, let me hear those pretty little moans.” He was back to leaving marks on your neck and breasts, it was all too much for you. “I’ll stop if you start making some noise” Rafe threatened you, you should stop this, you were risking your friendship with Sarah over this, just so Rafe could make you cum. You let out whimpers, hoping Sarah was gone because you couldn’t hold your moans in, Rafe was overstimulating you.

“Rafe please, I’m going to cum” You couldn’t get enough, forgetting how Rafe's arrogance and attitude, right now you just wanted him to make you cum and before you knew it, you came around his fingers, trying to catch your breath.

“Good girl, you should always be this obedient” Rafe took his fingers out of you, “You should get decent before we leave,” Rafe told you, fixing your shirt he had pulled up over your breasts just moments before.

“You don’t want to-” you were about to ask if he didn’t want to fuck you, it seemed unusual for a guy not to want something in return. “No it’s fine, don’t worry about me” He interrupted you, smiling at you, again with that smile that resembled Wards too much. What was in this for him if he didn’t get something out of it, boys were always so needy.

“Let’s get you home,” Rafe said and grabbed your hand and led you out of the bathroom, you tried to spot Sarah but luckily you couldn’t see her anywhere.

taglist

@deliciousrunawaywinner

@rafecameronsslxt

@fangirlwithlou

[shotorozu]

you like their hands

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (1/?)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

post type : headcanons; accompanied with a small scenario [fluff, the mildest of spice not nsfw]

note(s) : i was thinking about todo’s hands today— also i’ll be adding pictures of what i think their hand looks like so.. 😳

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

i’d like to believe that shouto’s hands would be long and pretty— kinda like how i’d imagine akaashi and kageyama’s hands

but have y’all seen that man’s hands in the anime and manga 😳 they’re not really what i’d call them “long”

so i had to find a mid point, kinda like a fusion of both.

his hands are either really pale, or the knuckles are just really red

moving on..

you have a weird infactuation with his hands, and you were gonna tell him! but you just didn’t know when

he didn’t really get it at first??

yes, he will respect and properly entertain your interests. but.. his hands? he doesn’t get that part yet

shouto can say he takes care of them well. washing his hands at least 3 times a day, and applying lotion on them with the slightest mint scent in it

and he takes care of his hands because he needs to rely on them everytime he uses his quirk.

speaking of quirk— his hands are either scorching to the touch, or cold.

so the first time he reaches out for your hand, you just.. freeze?? you were talking about something random while walking with him

then he just suddenly reached for your hand

seeing your reaction, he’s like.. “oh. my hand must be too cold for them. gotta switch.”

then he switches hands, holding your hand with his left. and you’re still the same, and it appears to be that switching didn’t really help

scenario

“what’s wrong, love?” he pulls you aside, staring at your expression— seeing that you became stiff when he reached for your touch.

you want to downplay the entire situation, really. but shouto doesn’t budge, that’s just who he is, and he’s still left wondering what’s wrong, and if he did something.

that is until you mention his hands, and that you like them

“your hands.. are really nice i guess,” you avert your gaze “i like them.” you say in almost a whisper like tone.

he sighs in relief. and he feels better that it’s not about the fact that you hate the temperature of his hands, since they’re either abnormally sahara desert hot or cold like fresh snow on a december morning.

his cheeks flare pink for a moment, in sudden realization “y-you like my hands?” shouto asks this as a confirmation, hoping that he actually heard it correctly.

but when you nod, he takes full advantage— entertaining your interest in his hands to his best abilities

he smiles when he sees your expression change when he brushes the back of your hand with his own. then, he finally holds your hand— the coolness of his right hand is making you hyper aware

your heart only pounds faster against your chest, when he presses his lips to the back of your hand, maintaining eyecontact as he does soz

after dating you, he paints his nails with clear nail polish. it makes him feel better knowing that they’ll stay clean even with all the hectic training

to calm you down, he likes to rub his thumb against your cheek— his quirk slightly activating while he stares into your eyes

a little spicy; but whenever you eat your desert during a date, he will wipe the excess off the side of your lips, and ask you to lick it off.

is he teasing you? or is he serious? we will never know.

bakugou katsuki

SCREAMs

bakugou’s hands are big, and his veins are prominent— but not too veiny to the point it’s concerning.

he sometimes likes wearing rings but.. that’s just sometimes

his hands are strangely soft, especially the palms— but he could say there’s some rough spots here and there, but he’d guess it’s because of his quirk.

bakugou’s hands are always warm and sweaty, which he never actually cared about— until he started dating you

he’s kinda worried that you wouldn’t wanna hold his hand, but you can say it’s actually the opposite?

you really like his hands.. but you’re just scared of getting judged

so when he reaches for your hand, you try to pretend that he wasn’t? you turn your head away— trying to not look the slightest bit of dazed

scenario

“what’s up with you?” bakugou interrogates you, his ruby irises glaring into your eyes— his voice gruff

“what?” you question, the sudden action was out of the blue— and you hold in your breath when his hands cage you in, large hands pressed on the wall behind you

“HAH?” he yells, not amused by your sudden oblivion, “don’t act dumb,” he grits his teeth “spit it out, and tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothing’s wrong, suki— i don’t really follow?” you try to convince him that no, i’m totally not afixiated with something about you, even though you’re my boyfriend; i don’t wanna admit that. however— you’re not very slick.

“tch, fucking liar.” his eyes narrow, “if you hate my fuckin’ hands, then i prefer it if you were honest about it.”

“sorry, but what?” you blink, suddenly appalled by his words, “hate.. your hands?”

“because that’s what it is, huh?” he moves even closer to you, practically inches away; and you can only pray that he can’t hear the rather loud beating of your heart. “my hands are so sweaty that you don’t wanna touch em, is that it?”

you’re agitated by his misunderstanding, and you sigh; finally deciding to come clean. “fine! fine. i like your hands.”

you didn’t mean to make it sound that upfront.

bakugou blinks, the sudden tension releasing into thin air, his expression left almost as equally surprised as you.

“tch. so that’s how it is,” he smirks, and by the way it looks— you suddenly regret telling him that.

well.. not really?

he actually takes advantage of that, making sure you remember his hands nicely.

when he sits next to you on the couch, he’ll throw his beefy ass arm around your shoulders like usual. then, he’ll run his hand up and down, making sure you’re aware of his touch.

bakugou will be THAT BITCH that’ll gesture you to come over so he could kiss you,

and when you’re leaning in— he’ll pinch your cheek, a sly grin on his face.

a little spicy; but he’s the type to rest his hand on your neck when you guys kiss <3 ugh

but overall— he’s really glad you actually like his hands, and it wasn’t like you hated them at all

but GOSH he just wished you told him from the start >:T

midoriya izuku

less veins, but.. DAMN THEY’RE KINDA THICK?? not too thick but.. have you seen his hands in the manga??

of course— his hands are rough, with a bunch of scars from his quirk. which he was kinda conscious about

but he tries hard to take care of them outside of combat things in fights; if they’re damaged then.. oh well

he definitely fiddles with pencils, and when he’s studying— the chance of him having a silver’s hand is likely (the thing where the graphite smeers on the back of your hand) he hates that shit

he definitely has a writer’s callus. PROVE ME WRONG!! that man writes a lot, and so do i so 😌 twinsies

but he tries to keep them clean, and he wants to make them feel less rough— so he will invest in some hand cream

compared to the other two, midoriya’s hands are normal in temperature.

but his grip is firm but he doesn’t really realize it sometimes.

you like his hands because.. the detail on his hands leave you mesmerized

but you don’t really wanna weird him out or make him uncomfortable. since he gets really flustered quick.

and you don’t want him to just stare at his hands and think about your fascination about them. no distractions

but he gets real pouty when you pull away

scenario

“hey Y/N, do you.. hate holding hands with me?” izuku asks one day, when you guys are studying in your room

“what?” you tilt your head, really surprised by his question— since you guys sat in silence for the last few minutes. you can feel the edge in your stomach grow when he mentions his hands.

“you always pull away when i try to hold your hand.” you gesture him to continue what he’s saying, and he continues “ but i get it though! my hands are.. scarred, rough. they’re kinda ugly compared to the rest of the guys.” he’s rambling, and you can’t help but feel really saddened.

“izuku, no.” you shake your head, “your hands aren’t ugly. yeah, they may be scarred and all— but they saved a lot of people, it saved eri, and it helped you get to where you are today.”

izuku’s cheeks flush with red, and he can’t say that you’re wrong. but; though he’s provided with reassurance, that’s not the answer he wanted

“but why won’t you hold my hand?”

“because i..” averting your eyes to the wall behind him, you’re looking for the right words. “i like your hands. i didn’t want to make you feel weird because of me.”

you look at his face after the confession, and it’s just ingulfed in a red shade.

on the contrary, this makes him like his hands more. everytime he looks at his hands, he’ll be motivated by your words.

but he’ll be a little shy with acting on it at first; especially in public

but fear not! izuku may seem innocent, but he also knows what he’s doing so.. don’t be decieved

when he’s studying, he’ll write with his right hand, and feed you little snacks with his left hand— urging you to open your mouth and take the snack

after sparring with you he’ll comment on how you did so good, also while placing his hands on your shoulder— massaging any sore parts

a little spicy, but when you guys are kissing, HIS HANDS WILL ROAM TO PLACES. pulling you closer as he attacks your lips

overall— he might be a little shy at first, but he can say he’s pretty accepting of your interest in his hands. it makes him feel better about the appearance of his hands.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i don’t profit off of my hobby.

do not reupload, translate, and use my work for any reading videos without my consent. do not plagiarize my work :))

[hitnran]

OBSESSIVE EX (gender neutral! reader)

how they deal with you having an obsessive ex

includes: ran, rindou

CW: obsessive behavior, cursing, stalking (ran), phone harassment (rindou), the haitani brothers lowkey kinda scary here (not to the reader) 💀 but i’m just trying to make it fit within their character

— RAN HAITANI

Getting into a relationship with someone like Ran, half of the charismatic brother duo that ruled Roppongi, almost means guaranteed safety wherever you go. His title itself is one that is feared when murmured. Whenever you two leave, he always has an eye and a hand on you. Ran knows well that even if he is feared, he can also be challenged and the last thing he wants is for you to get involved — you would make an easy target for his enemies.

You two were out together on a stroll around the city. Although there was nothing neither of you needed, Ran’s favorite thing is showing you off. Sometimes you start to feel similar to his younger brother, thinking that you’re just a shadow and only known as ‘Ran’s partner.’ But Ran’s intentions were opposite. He wanted everyone to know that it was him that belonged to you and it is him that people would have to deal with if you were ever tested.

As you two are walking, Ran noticed your eyes consistently checking itself to the side. He took note of that and eventually brushed it off since you stopped. But then he noticed that you were being especially keen and scanning the whole area.

“Are you okay, love?” Ran slightly hunches down, getting your attention as your face turns his way. He lightly smiles at you. “Did you see something you liked?”

You swallowed down hard. You could’ve sworn you saw a familiar face, but after trying to scan the area numerous times for the past few minutes, you thought it was just you being paranoid. The last thing you wanted was to worry Ran and cause a scene.

“I’m okay,” You shook your head, returning a light smile. You grabbed on his arm, this time a little tighter. “Let’s turn into this corner.”

Ran knows when you’re lying. He knew something made you uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to force you to tell him. Instead, he’ll make it his own problem too and deal with it himself.

This area was his territory and everyone knew it. It was almost as if Roppongi, a city known for liveliness, calmed down ever so slightly if one or both of the brothers were out. Everyone’s gaze wound be kept low and their conversations would go mute as they walk by.

At that moment, Ran could feel a pair of eyes staring your way. He won’t make it obvious though.

“Love,” Ran called out to you. You looked up his direction and he placed a hand against your lower back. “Rindou’s gonna throw a fit if I don’t bring back food for him. How about you go into the restaurant and order first while I call him and ask what he wants?”

You felt at ease hearing that you two were finally going to be in somewhere indoors, but it made you nervous that he would be separated from you for just a little while.

“Don’t wanna bring something back he won’t like and have him complain,” Ran lightly laughed, trying to ease your clear discomfort. He placed a hand over your head. Taking out his phone to add to his act. “I’ll be quick.”

After some hesitation, you gave in. It was a public space after all, so it shouldn’t have been anything to worry too much about. He watched as you entered the place before turning around, sending chills to the person who had been following you two around this whole time.

“Would be a shame if I left them alone for too long, wouldn’t it?” Ran gave off a sinister grin, slowly walking towards the person. “Wouldn’t want anyone to take them away…especially someone like you.”

Ran knew who this person was. He was an obsessive ex of yours that just would not leave you alone and accept the separation despite it being years passed. He gulped hard, nervously stepping back, not thinking that he would get caught.

“You were so bold to even follow us in the first place, why so shy now?” Ran smirked, hiking up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “This is the first time you’ve heard of me or something? I should introduce myself to you well and hard then.”

Almost ten minutes had passed since you’ve been waiting for Ran. You sat patiently and waited. Your best guess as to what’s taking him so long revolves around Rindou. Maybe he was complaining about how he wanted food from a different place or being picky about menu opinions. Just as you were about to raise yourself from your seat to check up on Ran, you saw him enter.

“Did I make you wait too long?” Ran appeared, seating himself in front of you. The worse case scenario you had in mind was that he got into a fight, but in front of you, he looked just as how you last saw him. “You know how Rindou is.”

Your chest became relaxed and you gave a small smile, shaking your head, “What did he want from here?”

“I didn’t even listen to what he said,” Ran teased, opening up his menu and leaning back against the chair. You felt his legs sandwich your calves from beneath the table. “He can order it himself. All my money is going to you today.”

And that was how Ran liked it. Although Ran wanted everyone to know that he belonged to you, he knew how important it was for others to know that you belonged to him too. The image of the face of your ex is burned so clearly into his brain — face all bloodied up, mauled almost, as he failed to even whisper for forgiveness.

“I think there’s only one way I’m gonna let you outta here alive,” Ran kicked his body down with force, hearing something shift in his jaw. He couldn’t give half a damn about it. “Do you know what that is?”

Your ex was visibly beaten and weak now, barely able to even blink or properly form a sentence. Though, with his adam’s apple slightly moving from fear, Ran took it as a response.

Grabbing him by his hair upward, Ran bent down, looking straight at him, “You’re gonna leave them alone and never show your goddamn face again. If it wasn’t fucked already before, it sure is now. I promise you I’ll know if you’re even barely visible or a mile away, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

Ran thought it was so disgusting how someone like you could ever have your time wasted on someone low like this ex of yours. Even if Ran saw him and his brother above everyone else, he always put you above him.

“Maybe even after this, I’ll send one of my men to go and beat the shit out of you every day so you could suffer for as long as you’ve tried to bother Y/N.”

— RINDOU HAITANI

Rindou can’t even remember what it took for you two to even reach this state of your guys relationship. He convinced himself that it was Ran, his older brother who wouldn’t shut up about how he was going to take you if Rindou didn’t make a move.

It genuinely surprises himself even whenever he looks your way, observing every detail and soaking in the idea that you are someone he can call his.

You two were watching a movie, or rather, supposed to. Rindou was too focused on side-eyeing you every now and then. You caught him a few times, but he would brush it off with comments like “this movie is boring” or “I’m just checking to see if you fell asleep.”

He would snap himself out of a trance after hearing your phone ring beside you. You eyed it once, looking at the caller ID and ignoring it. It wasn’t enough to cause Rindou to worry - it’s not his problem if you just didn’t wanna answer a call, it was your guys’ time anyway.

But then it rang once more again. Your ringtone dragged itself out halfway through before Rindou slightly raised his hand from your hip, pointing to the phone on the side of the couch.

“You not gonna answer that?” He asked.

You shook your head, eyes focused on the TV, “It’s fine. It’s an unknown caller ID.”

Rindou shrugged, ignoring it once again, but after a few more calls and your phone receiving back to back text messages, it was starting to irk him. He was close to just grabbing your phone and answering the call himself, but you were quick to act before him, just shutting it off.

“It must be spam or something,” You sighed, sitting back down.

“Yeah, well whatever it is, good thing you shut that damn thing off. That shit was annoying,” Rindou sighed, curling his arms around you again. “Let’s change the movie too or something. This one is boring.”

One thing about dating Rindou is that he seems uninterested in absolutely everything he does. Although you avoid thinking like that when it comes to your relationship with him, you always remind yourself that Rindou is someone who deeply cares for you. He shows it very differently compared to others, but you know.

He can recall a memory from a few weeks ago where you kept getting calls in the middle of your guys’ date. It annoyed him, but not as much as it annoyed you. You’ve pressed the red decline button at least five times now, stressing over it and spilling out everything about your previous ex.

At the end of your rant, Rindou grabbed your phone, picking up the call and saying words as simple as “leave them alone.” It was so simple, but for the next few weeks, it was silent. You finally thought you were free of harassment thanks to your boyfriend, but recently, they’ve been coming back as unknown caller IDs and more frequent than before.

Halfway through the movie, Rindou felt your body become more loose and relaxed beneath him. Your breath became slower and more steady. You had fallen asleep. He thought it was ironic to have someone as angelic as you in the arms of someone like him - a gang member always involving himself in trouble, even just for fun.

He stared at your phone just a reach away and then back at you. The last thing Rindou wanted was for you to be uncomfortable, or really, anything that isn’t where you aren’t happy.

When you woke up, the TV was shut off and you felt a blanket drape over your body. You realized you had fallen asleep from earlier, but you were expecting to find your boyfriend with you as well. That was when the door swung open and you were greeted with Rindou.

“Rindou?” You slowly let out, still adjusting from waking up. “I didn’t know you left.”

He raised a bag up midway in the air, it’s a bag from a bakery you often bought from, “You kept murmuring about it in your sleep. Didn’t want you to wake up all grumpy.”

“I don’t wake up grumpy!” You protested, watching as he took his seat next to you and unpacking all of your favorites.

“Yeah, okay,” Rindou joked. He listened to you puffing out before wrapping yourself around his arm.

“Thank you though,” You murmured out of embarrassment - maybe he was half right.

“It’s nothing,” He replied, softening his face into a grin. “Must’ve been hungry though if it got you talking in your sleep and drooling on my arm.”

You didn’t even know about half of the things he does for you, but he didn’t mind it, because if you were happy, then that was all that mattered.

It made Rindou feel guilty to turn on your phone and look through it. It wasn’t something that he ever felt the need to do - he trusted you and it felt wrong if you weren’t aware that he was using it. Though, at this time, he felt like it was for the better.

While you were silently sleeping, he browsed through your texts. It’s that same person - your ex back again to bother you. Rindou scoffed, making sure it wasn’t loud enough to wake you up, but he was angry. He clicked his tongue whilst composing a message.

Rindou knew you would never be so stupid as to meet up with someone like this, especially not after already experiencing it once. It was a good thing that it was just Rindou posing as you though. How delighted your ex felt to have finally received a response to you - ‘Let’s meet up here.’

Rindou thought it was so pathetic. This guy had no idea what he looked like, let alone that you even had a boyfriend. So when Rindou’s immediate reaction upon seeing him was to throw a punch, he was shocked.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Your ex cried out, trying his best to dodge his attacks but failing in between his words and attempts.

“Me?!” Rindou snapped, pushing him to the ground and twisting his arms. “Speak for yourself.”

The man beneath him screamed in pain, “I-I’ll call the cops on you and have you arrested!”

“Yeah? You think they’ll give me less time if I tell them I was just trying to teach a creep a lesson?” Rindou pulled back on his arms a little harder, tendons and muscles stretching themselves out of place.

“T-The hell are you talking about?!” He stuttered out.

“Don’t bitch around. Might end yourself up in there if you keep this act of yours up - I’ve been once before,” Rindou smirked, pulling back more and more on his arms. “It was fine for me. My big bro and I even got some respect while in there, so what’s gonna happen when they hear about your name from me? You’re fresh meat to them.”

“W-Who even are you?!”

Rindou scoffed, “The same guy who warned you once to leave Y/N alone. I should’ve honestly went to find you myself personally and beat the shit out of you, but I hate wasting my time.”

Your boyfriend let the man go. If his arms weren’t all bent out of place and dislocated, he’d be crawling away by now. It was a sight that Rindou would laugh at. Upon seeing that his phone had fallen out of his pocket, the same phone used to consistently harass you, Rindou stomped down hard, breaking it into bits and pieces.

“Don’t waste my time again. Next time you do, call the cops, I promise you I won’t care if they catch me killing you,” Rindou turned his back around.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr. 

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic 

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 

There’s a pause full of tense silence. 

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

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The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[fae-sdv]

Ok half of this is copied and pasted from the comment I left but I had more to say so here we go!!

STOP NO THIS IS PERFECTTTT I love it!!! It’s so funny you chose Shane first because he was actually the first person I ever married because we are SO similar. And it’s true! My farmer is a self insert and I agree with every single little headcanon you made for me and Shane’s relationship :3 and it’s SO cute you added the Jas part, I never even thought about how she and I would totally connect on stuff like that 🥹 and ABIGAILLLL!! I haven’t married a bachelorette yet but she’s 100% my first choice for when I do. I think it’s so cute you added that she would do my hair, because I would LOVE that. I used to dye it a lot when it was short, but I’ve grown it out and have became super emotionally attached to it, so I only dye it (black) every few months or so. I would ABSOLUTELY trust that girl to dye my hair a fun color. She has experience in it AND her hair is long too!

And Sebastian (//▽//)

He and I for sure would make a good couple, fun fact I’m having a hard time deciding between him or Sam during my next farm. The fact that he makes video games is like a match made in heaven for me, I’ll happily design/draw whatever character he needs as long as he will make me whatever mod for whatever game I’m wanting to play :) I think it would be so cool for him to watch me play ToTK and help me with some of the builds and physics heavy shrines!!

This is so cute and I absolutely would never be upset that you didn’t choose my personal choices :) you actually did a really great job considering Shane was my first haha. Also the part about everyone liking my dresses is fr making me kick my feet rn 🥹 it takes a lot for me to get dolled up like that and I’ve never thought about what their reactions would be to that and it’s SO FUCKING CUTEEEEE

Everything from this point on is Headcanon and NSFW!!

This is already long so no worries if you don’t read past here :)

My heart belongs to Harvey only because I just wanted someone who was nice and would rub my back and he’s a doctor, so he truly understands mental illness. For my farmer self insert, he’s just the perfect amount of opposite from me :) he’s like a cozy blanket you get to come home to after a particularly rough day.

And it’s so cute because I still love Shane SOOOO much, that on my Harvey farm, Shane and I are best friends (and heads up nsfw!!!! And a headcanon since I can only play the vanilla switch version LMAO) someeeeetimessssss Harvey and I like to have Shane join in the bedroom and honestly very much like to take shane out on dates. It’s really cute hahaha it’s nothing too serious though, just a couple of queer friends who are a bit too friendly with each other 😅

Harvey will say: do you think Shane is available to for the movies today? I just think it’ll be good for his morale! (He’s obviously turning red, I know my husband well enough to know he’s got a crush on Shane)

Me: yeah sure whatever I’ll call him and tell him to make sure he brings truffle oil

Harvey will almost pass out from my statement, and I will call Shane and tell him all about my timid husbands crush on him, and Shane will laugh and laugh and laugh knowing damn well he’s gonna have both of us an absolute begging sweaty mess later 😭

(SORRY IT GOT SUPER NSFW TOWARDS THE END I WSSNT EXPECTING TO WRITE SOME FIC BUT HERE WE ARE LMAO)

WAIT NO CUTE CAN I GO FIRST

Personality:

-bit of an introvert (agoraphobia is strong with me 😅)

-pretty happy most of the time!! I try to be as optimistic as I can be

-that being said of course sometimes I crash really hard and just need a few days to get myself back into that happy mindset

-people pleaser, but not in the sense that I have no boundaries. I just really enjoy seeing people happy with life and if I can help bring some of that happiness to them, I will!!

-actually extremely insecure which makes me recluse

-more of a couch potato, sure I like to be outside and stuff but I’m not much of a hiker. I’d rather lay on a blanket outside n watch the clouds or something

Likes/interests:

-pink. Anything stereotypical “girly girl” (I hate overly gendered stuff but it’s the best way to explain it. Glitter!!! Pink!! Butterflies!!! Flowers!!! All of that stuff

-this doesn’t usually reflect in my style though because I v much am a drabby tshirt and sweatpants person 😭

-that being said I also DO love dresses!! Like a lot, just not super short ones. I feel like I’m too exposed 😭

-I v much do art, I like to read but I’m not HUGE into it. Prefer to read manga over novels for sure

-unfortunately a weeb

-cats!!!

-my fav foods are queso, Alfredo, and any kind of soggy rice 😅

-I prefer psychological thriller kind of movies that make your head hurt!!!!

-dnd/Sanrio/care bears/ I FUCKING LOVE COWS

-I’m also just about in my late 20s but idk if that’s an interest at all? 😅

-and obviously video games, but stardew is actually the only ‘cozy/life simulator’ game I’ve ever played. More into Zelda and assassins creed :)

I think that’s it :) I’m bisexual so I will be happy with a Bachelor and bachelorette!!

Ily thank u for taking ur time to do this 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Oooh my first one ! This one is a bit tricky as I can see multiple matches for different reasons 👀 I’ll go with my gut feeling:

-Shane:

- I’m torn on him because there is a possibility of you two not being good for each other as you share some traits, but it could also be a possibility for you two to come to terms with your struggles (like insecurities) and find an open ear in one another.

-You both are homebodies and like similar kinds of food :D I could see you both ordering takeout and watching some new thriller that just released.

-Your more happy-mindset would also be a nice contrast to his more pessimistic outlook on life, but your “off-days” would show him that it’s ok to not always be 100% positive.

-He thinks you look so cute when you doll up and get all euphoric at your new clothes. Your interest in Sanrio would also be a good base for you and Jas to get along, two women in his life that mean a lot to him.

-he would be SO DOWN to play Tears of the Kingdom with you. Of course it’s a single player game, but just sitting next to each other and helping one-another out doing the quests on their respective switch, or just watching the other play and laugh at whatever stupid shit they can come up with instead of playing the main story hehehe.

-he likes chickens, you like cows, you two share a fondness of a cute farm animal, and it helps a ton with building up that relationship as you two like talking to them, or about them with each other.

-Abigail:

-It’s pretty clear why I chose her. She is a gamer, she loves adventures, she’s an introvert.

-you’re more a homebody, she’s kind of something in-between. You both can spend lazy Sundays together playing video games or you can go outside and wander around in nature or do something fun (if your agoraphobia allows it of course)

-the girl eats rocks…it’s save to say she’s more than happy to eat anything with you, so if you wanna eat rice or pasta every day, so be it.

-she’s not a girly girl, but I think she’d love to dye your hair at least once! You like pink, so why not get some colour in there that matches some of the dresses you wish you wore more often?

-I’m not sure whether she’d be a weeb, but she’d never say no to watching a Shonen anime with you, or even read the manga 👀

-Sebastian:

-why? He’s a nerd, he likes to be inside and play video games and code as his job.

-He’s an introvert like you, so he’d understand when you want to log off and be alone for a bit.

-You could watch movies together ! I HC that he isn’t that much into movies, but once he gets into it, he is very invested, so it could still work out !

-if you draw (because you said you do art), he’d be more than happy if you made some character models for the game he’s working on, or for his discord server etc. he isn’t the artsy type, so he’s more than impressed you are able to cook something up that looks incredible !

-he wouldn’t want to hike with you lmfao 😭 but he’d want to ride on his motorcycle with you, if you want to. Some adventure, but not too much physical activity, yet a lot of fun.

-He’s a weeb, your honour, I feel it in my bones. Do I have to say more ?

——————————————————————————

-all of them seem to be cat people (Shane might be a dog person, but for our sake I say he’s a chicken person and likes both cats and dogs alike, but chickens win) , so that’s also a plus for all :3

I hope you can sort of agree with my picks. Im sorry if I didn’t pick anyone you have hoped for, but I think these 3 are the best matches out of all the marriage candidates. I thought of maybe Leah, but your interest in art would be about one of the few things you’d have in common I fear. I think there are some others that COULD work, but when I read your summary, these came to my mind instantly lol.

Thanks for your submission !

[proserpina-magnus]

yayy you take requests 🥺 I really love your writing it’s one of the best I’ve come across on the internet I swear

was wondering if I can request a poly!marauder where reader is really snappy/irritated before her period and the boys don’t realize why she acts like that cause she’s usually really kind and loving. she may sometimes not even realize she’s being mean/scary?

she could then out of sudden break down crying over something very stupid - maybe because something or someone really annoyed her

and the boys are literally clueless

Hii! I’m so sorry this took so long 😭😭 this has been in my request for awhile but luckily I finished it today! I hope you don’t mind the delay, anyways I hope you enjoy it! Mwah.

P.S: I also included Peter! I hope you don’t mind (since you didn’t specify).

P.S.S: this is also really bad :)

Irritation (poly Marauders)

Reader: female (she/her)

Warning: irritation (described and displayed), swearing, fighting (mention of blood like once), intrusive thoughts, anxiety (displayed in characters, such as biting nails, words, etc), “baby, love, dove,”, mention of sex (not described though), talk of losing appetite and eating, hurt/comfort, comment to add more.

Word count: 3.6k

You woke up irritated, body aching slightly and adjusting to your upcoming period. You pick at your food, tapping your foot angrily as you listen to every chat. A good 1000 students talking was enough to give you a headache... or at least add onto the one you already had. The littlest sounds, like a fork scraping against the plate, sent you into a fit of rage and you snapped at Remus.

"We get it, the book’s good," you say, staring deep into your plate. Remus let his mouth hang open, mid sentence before closing it. The boys gave you a look, James trying to quickly figure out what the problem was. “…uh, something bothering you? No need to snap at Remus,”

“No need to snap at Remus,” you mocked, James eyebrows scrunched as he made a confused expression. Peter, who sat beside you, had his eyes slanted as he tried to figure out what your issue had been. “James wasn’t trying to-“ Peter had started, But you quickly cut him off.

“Peter, why don’t you just mind your business?” You question, you never had been mean to Peter, not as much as you joked around with the others. This banter confused Peter, and he looked away and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Hey now, don’t get bitchy,” Sirius tuned in, James had sucked in a breath as Sirius uttered the phrase. The boys stayed quiet, even Sirius knew he had said something wrong. You dropped your fork to the plate, it clanked loudly. You stood up, grabbed your bag roughly as the chair scraped against the floor from your quick movement.

“_____, love,” Peter began, trying to clear the miscommunication up with what Sirius had said. You waved him off, eyes glaring around at each of them. Remus had begun to shift awkwardly, not liking the tension, while Sirius had tried to stutter out that he didn’t mean it. James was a bit flushed, hating the anger that was now appearing. Peter had lost his appetite.

You pondered what to say, mouth slightly opened to spew out some insult but you felt ridiculous and teared up slightly. The boys just looked at you, not knowing what to say and somehow that made the situation worse.

“Why don’t you just fuck off,” you rushed out, not really knowing who that was directed towards. Before any of them could get a word in, you had walked quickly out of the dining hall.

“Why’d you say that?” Peter was the first to ask, Sirius feeling attacked over his words. “Well she was being bitchy, Peter you need to stop being such a coward and stick up for us once in awhile,”

“Pads,” James called, Peter rolling his eyes. Sirius snapped his head around, looking at each of them. “Well I’m right! She was making Moony feel bad,”

“She wasn’t making me feel bad,” Remus sighed, and Sirius shook his head and began to get a bit angry. “Yes she was, she had no right to start acting the way,”

“I don’t think we need to focus on what she said, we need to know why she acted that way,” James said, rubbing a hand over his chest. “Did she fail a test or something? Did she mention anything that was bothering her?” He pondered to them.

Everyone shook their heads, they all were confused on why you had acted that way. They had completely forgotten about your period. You never acted so vile on your period, you usually just acted the same. Yet they forgot to realise that not every period was going to be the same and emotions were heightened.

“Maybe Snape said something,” Peter thought, and Remus nodded his head. “True, I did hear that they got partnered for a project in herbology,” Remus said, and all of the boys sorta grumbled at the thought of you working with Snape.

“Yeah if I was partnered with him I’d be bitchy,” Sirius said, nodding his head like he understood now. James hit Sirius on the back hard, and Sirius shot him a look. “Stop referring to her as a bitch,” James said, upset. He never liked the degrading words used against you, there were much better words to phrase your reaction.

“Alright alright,” Sirius said in surrender, feeling guilty now for upsetting you further. Remus stayed quiet, he wasn’t upset about you snapping at him, he was upset at the fact that you felt the need to snap at him.

Peter felt wiry, he didn’t like when you were upset. He always felt like he was to blame, especially since you were always so loving. He decided to go check on you, not liking the tears he had seen in your eyes.

“Where are you going?” Remus asked, he knew exactly what Peter was intending to do but he just wanted confirmation. Sirius and James were deep in conversation, planning on pranking Snape to make you feel better (they had confirmed the issue was Snape, before even asking you what was truly wrong).

“I’m gonna go check on her,” Peter said, cleaning his plate as much as he could as he stacked the dirty dishes together. “I’ll come with,” Remus said, sitting up and Peter took Remus's plate and stacked it with his. “We’re going to go check on her,”

Sirius piped up, standing up before Remus sat him back down with a hand to his shoulder. “Not you, not yet,” Remus told him, and Sirius pouted.

Remus and Peter walked out of the dining hall, and Sirius and James conversed about the prank.

“I don’t think it’s Snape,” Peter said, and Remus nodded. “No, me neither,”

“I just can't figure out what it could be,'' Peter sighed, looking down halls and out windows to see if he could spot you. Remus nodded, sighing as well.

They stayed quiet for a bit, Peter more hyper fixed on finding you (Remus felt the same, but was much better at hiding his worry). Peter stopped, looking over at Remus. “You know she didn’t mean it,” Peter told him and Remus nodded.

“I know, I’m not mad at her,” Remus spoke, and Peter nodded like Remus had. “And you know she didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s not your fault she’s irritated,” Remus said, knowing Peter's thoughts.

Peter nodded, though half doubted it as they continued on their look for you.

—

Peter and Remus hadn’t found you, they had arrived late to transfiguration, Professor McGonagall gave them an eye and told them to sit.

“Where is she?” Sirius asked, James listening in as he leaned closer to where Remus and Peter sat in front of them. Next to James, was an empty seat. Sirius sat opposite of the empty seat.

“Couldn’t find her,” Remus said, James grew worried.

“We will look at the map later,” he said, reassuring the group but it was more for reassuring himself. They all nodded, trying to focus on class, yet they kept wondering about the thought of you.

“No I’m worried,” Sirius said after a while, Remus looked behind them as Peter bit at his nails. “Pads it’s alright; she’s fine,” James stated, but Sirius doubted him.

“You don’t know that, what if what I said made her upset!” He whispered, and Remus turned back around and let James handle Sirius.

“She’s not like that, she was clearly irritated before you talked with her, she’s probably just having a bad day,” James tried to make up any safe possible scenario, he didn’t want to think about dreadful things.

“But-“ Sirius said, and Peter whipped around. “Just shut up Sirius, alright? We will find her after class,” he grew irritated and Sirius grumbled and stayed quiet.

—

They had found you quickly with the help of their invention, but you had put up a wall and just shrugged them off.

“Baby, listen if it’s about what I said this morning,” Sirius began, but you continued to look down at your open book. The library was quiet before, and students listened in to hear the drama of the group.

“Can you just go away? I can't read when you’re talking to me,” you said, mouth in a frown. Remus was the first to realize you really did just want space and he decided it was best to let you get over your irritation, but convincing the rest of the boys was the hardest part.

“She just wants to read guys, come on,” Remus said, grabbing Sirius arm to pull him away from hovering over you (which Peter had noticed was pissing you off). James stayed in place, so did Peter.

“She can’t skip class Remus,” James said seriously, looking down at you as you continued to stare at your book, not sparing a glance at them.

“_____,” James warned, reaching out to hold your shoulder gently and you twitched and removed his hand from your shoulder. “You can't skip class love,”

“Fuck off, you never give Peter or Sirius any shit for skipping,” you scoffed, and James began to get a bit irritated with your rude behaviour.

“Yes I do-“ James was quick to defend himself, and you rolled your eyes.

“Can you seriously fuck off? Like what do you not get about me wanting to be alone? That doesn’t mean I want you around,” you snapped at him, turning around and glaring. “All of you need to fuck off,”

They stayed quiet, looking at you again such as how they did this morning. James stepped back, “alright,” he said, walking out of the library as Sirius followed behind with a grumble.

“We will see you at lunch?” Remus asked and you just ignored him. He decided to follow behind Sirius and James.

Peter stayed, weight going between each foot as he swayed back and forth. You looked over at him, an eyebrow raised as you waited for him to leave, he didn’t.

“I want you to leave,” you said, staring at him like he was incompetent. Peter shrunk slightly against your harsh gaze. “I know what you want,” Peter said, “but don’t you care what I want? What we want?”

“I don’t owe you sex,” you scoffed, misinterpreting what he meant. Peter shook his head, “No, you don’t. that’s not what I meant,”

“What could you possibly mean then?” You asked, huffing. Peter sat down beside you and you slid your chair away. Didn't you get that they were worried?

“What’s wrong,” he asked, “how can I make it better?” He felt completely hopeless. You just shrugged, the wall you had blocked them with slowly falling a bit. But then you remembered that they didn’t even know why you were upset, how could they even forget you had a period? The fury built back up again, all they cared about was themselves. It was always Remus's monthly, never yours.

“You can make it better by fucking going away,” you swore, and Peter did just that.

—

Two days went by, without much effort to talk to the boys. They all tried their hardest to catch your attention and make you feel better, yet their proposals were quickly dismissed.

James had got you many gifts, him and Sirius even snuck into Hogsmeade to get you sweets from honey dukes. You took the sweets, but dismissed them entirely.

Remus tried to talk to you about the books you had been reading, but you told him you weren’t interested in talking with him and left.

Sirius got frustrated pretty easily with not being able to hold hands with you and locked you in the broom closet with him. James had found him an hour later, knocked out.

Peter followed you around, you found many flowers left in your dorm. You had received about 10 letters from him, each every morning, before your first class, during lunch, at dinner, and before you went to bed. You had read them, cuddling with your blankets.

On the third day, you wanted attention and affection. Cramps had made you emotional, you just wanted some attention from your boys. But when you had sat by them at the table, hand going to hold Sirius’s, he had pulled it away from you. You frowned, trying again but he pulled it away. You knew something was wrong, even this morning you haven't received a good morning letter from Peter.

“So what, you think you can just come hang out with us and think nothings wrong?” James asked you, they had all grown irritated with your behaviour. You yourself hadn’t really noticed the way you had been treating them.

“What do you mean?” You asked confused, looking between each of them as they laughed. You felt hurt, knowing they were making fun of you. You tried to hold Peter's hand but he was too quick and pulled it away before you could even touch him.

“You wanted to be left alone,” he reminded you. Remus nodded his head, “you even ignored all of our gifts,” James said, and Sirius laughed and made a joke.

“I didn’t want gifts,” you told them, “when have I ever asked for gifts?” You continued, and they became quiet. Had you been rude to them?

You began to think over the last few days, some things you had done were questionable but it was justified. Couldn’t they see you were emotional?

Did they even care? Of course with these thoughts, your brain forgot to realize all the attempts they made, all the worrying they felt, all the times they talked in private and grew concerned for your well-being.

“You kept snapping at us, you can’t just be rude to us for no reason and then expect us to be okay with it, you don’t get cuddles _____,” James told you firmly, but you tilted your head, you began to get angry again.

“So when I don’t ask for something you give it to me, but when I want to hold your fucking hand that's not allowed? Do you even care what I want?” You asked, you realised how unreasonable some of what you were saying was. You had remembered what Peter had said in the library and you grew quiet.

“Nevermind,” you snapped quickly just as they were about to argue with you. You got up, saddened that you couldn’t get the affection you wanted. You left, heading to herbology.

—

The first class, along with the banter from this morning, ruined your whole day. You had to work with Snape, already in a bad mood.

He had been pretty quiet, so had you, only talking to each other about the project and what was necessary. It was all going fine until the end of the class, when he had said something that made you feel terrible.

“You and the Marauders hadn’t been hanging out recently, I guess they came to their senses that you weren’t really worth it,” he began, who knew why he had said it, but it was enough to trigger some deeper emotional rage. You screamed at him in the hallway, completely losing it at him. At some point, both your wands had been drawn and just before something bloody happened, the professor had stopped it. You had been given detention and since you had been the one that had started the duel, Snape got off scot free.

The Marauders had heard about what happened and what made it worse is that they didn’t try to find you. You passed by James and Sirius in the hall, hoping to talk to them and get all of the anger out about what Snape had said. But they just said a simple “we don’t really want to talk to you right now,”

You watched them walk down the hall, they hadn’t wanted to know if you were okay? They were always curious about any drama revolving around Snape.

You had cried in the bathroom, moaning myrtle was the only one who cared enough to ask you what was wrong. You felt pathetic relying your emotions on a ghost that lives in the bathroom, but it was somehow comforting listening to her weep along with you.

Maybe Snape was right, maybe they did come to their senses.

—

After detention, you passed by the Gryffindor portrait. You had debated for several minutes if you wanted to go see them and finally the fat lady decided to just let you in and told you a “Stop weeping outside my door, I have a date soon and you’re going to ruin it, go in go in,”

You had climbed up the steps, you were going to leave once you reached their door, but it was already open with James waiting for you.

“We saw you on the map,” he said once he noticed you were confused. “Oh,” you said, you looked completely drained and James showed a soft remorse that made you crumple.

“Shh it’s okay,” he comforted, bringing you close as you shakily sighed into his chest. Your arms came to wrap around him, lips trembling as you started to cry. “Let’s get out of the hallway,” James told you, leading you into their dorm as he closed the door for privacy. Your face still buried in his chest, weeping uncontrollably as Sirius sat up from his lying position at the sound.

Peter and Remus piped up as well, as Sirius walked over and took you in his arms. He glared at James, thinking he did something.

“What’s wrong baby?” Sirius whispered gently, guiding you over to the bed as he sat you down on James bed. “It hurts,” you say, not giving much context as they all look at you confused, high in alert and they felt guilty for ignoring you in this state.

“What hurts?” Remus asked, Peter and him had come to stand close as James sat down on the other side of you. James pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, “she doesn’t feel warm,” he told them.

“Love what hurts?” Peter repeated, you sniffled and tried to calm down enough to tell them what was wrong. “My period,” you choked, you thought they had realised by now. The boys became aware quickly that that’s what had been making you upset the past few days.

“You’re periods don’t usually make you this emotional,” James questioned and you scoffed but they decided to let it slide.

“They aren’t always the same,” you told them, wiping your eyes as your uterus twisted again. You let out another sob, you didn’t want to go through this alone.

“I’m sorry dove, we should’ve realised sooner,” Remus said, crouching down as he took you in his arms. You curled yourself into him, he picked you up and switched so he was the one sitting down.

“Snape said something,” you sniffled, face resting in Remus's neck as your nose brushed up against his neck. They all became a bit angry, not liking the sound of that.

“What did he say?” James asked, rubbing your back. You took a moment to try and phrase it, it felt embarrassing to admit that his words had worried you. “He said… that the reason you guys were ignoring me was because you came to your senses,”

“Senses to what?” Peter asked, they all had been confused. “That you didn’t like me anymore,” you whimpered the words, tears welling up again. Their hearts stopped for a second, squeezing so tight they all thought they would pass out. James was angry with himself and Snape. James and Sirius felt horrible for ignoring you right after what Snape had said, they didn’t want to prove his statement.

“That fucking bastard,” Sirius fumed, standing up but peter pushed him back down. “She needs us, going off and throwing a few punches won’t do any good,” he whispered and Sirius looked over at James, but James only agreed with Peter. “Not right now,” he mouthed before they pulled their attention back to you.

“We’re so sorry,” Remus coo’s, rocking you gently as you cry into his neck. They all feel pity and a sense of guilt. “So sorry,” you tell them, feeling horrible for snapping.

“You don’t have to apologise,” James assures, rubbing your hair as he pulls it away from your soaked face. “we didn’t know, that’s on us,”

“I didn’t tell you,” you cried, “I was so mean to you, I didn’t mean it. Snape is right,” Sirius fumes at your thoughts.

“Don’t fucking say that bastard is right, he’s a-“ remus shoots Sirius a dangerous look, telling him to shut up before he upsets you more.

“We shouldn’t have just assumed every period is going to be the same, that's on us love,” James said, kissing your temple. “It ain’t right we care for Remus on his monthly and then ignore yours,” James said and Remus shot him to look like he had Sirius.

“It’s okay,” you say, calming down as you rub your face. “It’s not,” Sirius said, kissing your shoulder. Peter cleans up your face, rubbing gently with a warm cloth.

Without saying a word, they had concluded to spoil you. James had filled a heating pad with hot water, Sirius went down to get a potion to soothe your pain, Remus was helping you into a comfy jumper and pyjamas as Peter was getting the junk food.

After everyone got back and situated, you had found yourself between Remus and James, a black dog cuddled between your legs; it’s head over your lap, while a rat was curled under your chin. A heating pad rested on your stomach, junk food around the bed. You sigh happily, resting your head on James' chest while one hand is running through a thick fur coat, your other hand occupied with Remus's. You felt comfortable, all fights dismissed and forgiven, before you fell asleep, James had whispered “you deserve us, we aren’t going anywhere, not even when it gets rough,”.

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