#yeah I fell into a depression slump AGAIN

[weministertomonsters]

"Dad!" You gasp and rush over. "What the hell are you doing to him?"

The casino employee frowns at you, clutching a clunky piece of equipment that looks like a vacuum cleaner.

"He lost his soul, but it won't come out. It's really stuck in there."

"Because I bound it," you reply.

Your dad mumbles into the gag, shaking his head. You almost wish you could take that information back, but he would have figured it out sooner than later, since he keeps coming back to this place. The employee raises his eyebrows and stares hard at you. You know exactly what he's seeing. A human woman in her twenties with messy hair, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt (with a suspicious white crust on it) and wearing damp slippers.

"Who are you?" He frowns. "You're not supposed to be here."

"I know. Just release my dad and we'll be on our way," you reply.

"He bet his entire soul."

"Shit."

"And lost it. In the first round."

You rub your forehead and try to think fast. Maybe you can trade something for it. How much will his soul be worth? The employee lets out a sigh and hefts up his Soul Sucker 3000.

This reminds me of that skill stealing machine from The Sims 2 and I think it's hilarious.

This snippet is from a story I'm writing called Casino of Souls. It's on my patreon (it's free) and I don't know if I want to post it here because updates will probably be slow and that's kind of embarrassing as a writer.

[pjsk-headcanons]

i have decided that there is no such thing as too ooc when it's me because I'm the best at characterization and can never fuck up <3

anyway onto the headcanon

major tws for suicide, sh, and discussion of a major depressive episode. no one died, however someone did harm themself.

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alright, yet another minori hc!

back when she was younger, minori first discovered haruka and idols in general. she instantly fell in love with them, and decided that she wanted to become an idol, in order to give others hope!!

and obviously, as is stated in canon, that didn't work out so well. especially in middle school, it got to her very badly. to the point where she herself started losing hope in her ability to even live happily!!

because of this, she grew depressed and started to lose motivation for a while. it wasn't burnout, persay, but more of a "slump", or at least, that's what minori called it. she was eventually diagnosed with major depressive disorder under the criteria of having at least one major depressive episode that lasted longer than two weeks.

and she was prescribed antidepressants!! only, they made her a little bit off. just a little. she, as is implied above, began having frequent thoughts of suicide. she never did before! it was difficult to manage. minori didnt tell anyone, since she was afraid of them getting even more concerned for her.

so she did what any rational person would do to cope! and that is sh. a very irrational thing to do.

minori only cut very small scratches into her upper thigh before getting nauseous and quitting, but it hurt enough for her to wince when she walked, thus alerting her family. they never confronted her, but she knew they knew.

nowadays, she has obviously gotten out of her depression, but she still sometimes gets those skin itches that you always get when you go clean.

however, she vows to never stoop that low again, its unbefitting of an idol!

so, yeah, now she's doing better and stuff!!!

anyway. hopefully not too ooc. but just like they always say, its called PROJECT sekai for a reason

- ☘️

(goin thru it)

‎

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

NEW YEARS DAY- P.B PARKER

Pairing: Best Friend (with benefits)! Peter x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: your best friend peter practically begs you to be his date at his works new years party, as a friend and a lover. new year, same benefits. 

Warnings: SMUT, teasing/ sexual tension, heavy praise kink, some mocking and slight degradation, daddy kink, petnames, hair pulling, swearing, alcohol consumed, really just two lovebirds pretending they arent in love for their own sake

“i want your midnights, but ill be cleanin up bottles with you on new years day. hold onto the memories- they will hold onto you.. and i will hold onto you”- new years day, taylor swift

The lights glimmered brightly, the soft white glow mixed in with the ferns that were draped across your fireplace. You watched them intensely, observing the patterns they followed. 

They were on a timer, every other little light glowing brightly, to then fade out and let the other pairs shine. 

The tv remote you had once clutched was now tossed back in the cushions, hidden away as your attention had strayed from endlessly flicking the channel to find a holiday movie for some form of white noise. It was depressing in here, despite the decorations that were scattered across your apartment. 

No amount of sugar cookie-scented candles could mask the fact you reeked of sorrow, and a sense of self-pity that hung over you like mistletoe. 

The holidays were terrible alone.

 You should be accustomed to it by now, not having anyone to really rely on but yourself and your best friend Peter for the past couple years. But you didn’t want to bother him now- it was break after all, and you presumed he was with his family. 

You admired that about him, how close he was with his family- how much he loved them so dearly. 

Still, you felt lonely and isolated. 

The snow continued to fall outside, and you dreaded the fact you knew you would have to shovel it all in the morning. It was a cycle that never ended in your mind as the fireplace crackled to life, the faux flames seeming to laugh at you. 

You huffed, slumping back into the pillows. 

This sucked. This really fucking sucked. 

It was laughable, in all honesty. The fireplace was right about that. It was New Years Eve, everyone out drinking and partying- and here you were staring at decor you had no energy to remove. 

You contemplated on making yourself a cup of hot coco as a distraction, knowing the chocolaty goodness would tingle your taste buds. But before you could decide on what flavor you wanted, the phone rang.

 It was an old telephone from the 90s that hung up on the wall, with its long curly wire. You kept it because you thought it was cute, and even ended up painting it a deep shade of red, with little pink hearts to adorn it. Peter often teased you about it, and your funky old-school tastes. 

No one ever called your landline except for Peter, because he was the one and only person you had given your number to. You felt a sudden sense of excitement bloom in your stomach as you hopped over the couch, nearly bolting to the phone. 

“This is the Y/L/N residence, how can I be of assistance?” you chirp out giddily as you twirled the cord around your finger, feeling like a lovesick teenager as you heard him laugh over the other end. 

“You free tonight birdy?” he asked, though he sounded breathless, a loud clatter following his question. He was in a rush. “Yeah sorry, I made plans with my Christmas lights to stare at them all night. You’ll have to book another time.” you joked. 

“Hah hah. Very funny-” Something fell in the background again, and you heard him curse under his breath. “Everything good there?” you asked with a slither of worry in your voice, the banging making you anxious. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m just in a rush and I’m tripping and knocking over everything and I need you.” You froze, eyes widening as you slumped against the wall behind you. 

He needed you? What could he possibly need you for on a Thursday night? 

The only time he ever said that was when the two of you played the sex card. The best friends with benefits card. A card that was getting dealt more often, as the two of you grew closer and closer. 

Yes, he was your best friend, one you had cherished for years and one who understood you like no other. But he also was something more, a caregiver, an outlet. The friendship was amazing. The sex was even better. 

But this was different, the fact he was calling you out of the blue. The two of you decided on no ‘you up?’ fiascos. You were classier than that. 

Before you could speak, he cut off your thoughts, words coming out faster than you could comprehend. “That came out wrong sorry. I just have a work party tonight and everyone's bringing a plus one and I told them I was bringing someone but in reality, I didn’t have anyone andnowI’mju-”

 “So you need me to be your date. Is that what you're asking?” you finished for him, heartbeat picking up speed as you clenched the phone tighter. Maybe you had plans tonight with him after all. The idea of being in his presence soon made you dizzy. 

“Yes. God yes please birdy. Please.” he muttered out, and you could hear him attempt to shove on his shoes, balancing on the front closet door. “How soon?” 

“An hour. And we still gotta get parking, so get ready like… yesterday!” You started to panic, brain shortcircuiting on how to get ready in that amount of time. 

Not only to impress Peter but to impress his colleagues too. First impressions were always important. They were life lasting, and impactful. And the pressure of having to dig that out of your closet gave you a sense of uneasiness. 

“Wait Peter wha-”

 “Okay see you soon, love you birdy!! Thank you sweetheart mwah mwah mwah-” He kissed the phone a few times to cut you off before quickly hanging up- giving you next to nothing to work with.

 No dress code, no ideas for hair and makeup. You mindlessly hung up, plopping the phone back to its colourful home on the wall. Staring at the lights, you sighed. 

You were so, so unbelievably screwed.

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 Saying ‘you were screwed’ was an understatement. 

A huge one. 

The outfit you had originally thought of to wear was nowhere to be seen. You had dug through every drawer, had searched each closet high and low, and had even dug through your dirty laundry hamper in hopes to find it. 

No luck. 

It was as if the gods had rooted against you, refusing to knock on wood in your favor. Your makeup was done, hair done up with pearls to match- but the key part you needed was missing. Time was running out, and you felt your anxiety skyrocket. 

If it was a flutter of butterflies in your stomach before, it was bumper cars at the fair now. Bumping, smashing, and twisting your insides as you tried to calm yourself down to no avail. Thumb brought up to your lips, your teeth dug into the cuticle and you tasted the hot metallic taste of the blood you drew. 

It was sweet in a way, the slight stinging bringing you comfort as you paced. You were practically out of ideas, and the hands on your clock ticked louder and louder like cicadas the longer you waited for another idea to come to mind. 

After minutes of mindless ‘thinking’, all you and your blood-stained lips could ponder was the idea of your mother's old vintage red dress. It was classy, almost too classy- which was exactly what you were afraid of. 

But it would have to do. 

What other options did you really have? Going naked? 

A quick tap sounded from your front door, Peter stepping inside before you had a chance to hobble over to open it. Your dress was slung on your body, zipper and buttons undone as you stumbled out of your bedroom in your unfastened heels. 

“Hi!” you stammered out breathlessly, attempting to brush your hair from your eyes that had fallen out of place. “Hi birdy. Wow you look…” He trailed off, looking you up and down with a look of awe plastered across his face. 

Something burned brightly in you as you ducked your head, trying to hide the smile that bloomed on your face with failure. “I look?” 

“So pretty. So fuckin pretty.” he laughed, making you beam brightly, happy with the validation he gave you. “It's not too much or anything?”

 “Oh it's so much. But in the best way, gosh you look beautiful. I'm gonna shut up now.” he blushed, cheeks turning a bright shade of rose as you walked over to him, unable to hide your giggles at how flustered he could get sometimes. 

He ran a hand through the messy chestnut locks on his head, all grown out and sticking out at weird angles- as if he forgot to brush it properly. But you liked it. You liked these little details about Peter, when his hair was extra messy, when he accidently got dried toothpaste on his shirt, or when only one shoe was untied and he refused to bend down and fix it. 

You didn't bother to notice it, even if it was a good thing because you knew Peter would just act self-conscious and freak out that he didn’t have enough time to fix it. Which he didn’t- really, but you didn’t want him to anyways. 

“You need me to zip you up?” he asked softly, to which you just nodded, turning around in front of his tall figure to reveal the opened back of the garment. A breath whooshed between his clenched teeth as he saw your bare skin, no lacy, frilly bra underneath. 

Just soft, delicate skin.

 His fingers trailed up your spin gently, the back of his knuckle coaxing the skin before he snapped out of his trance, remembering the two of you were on a time crunch. The both of you were already running late.

 He looked up at the ceiling, so very tempted to peer down at the curve of your ass he adored so much and zipped you up as quickly as he could. All he could smell was soft roses and sex that washed off of you in waves. 

It made him sick with desire and he wanted nothing more than to say fuck the party, and start a new party with you in your bed. Or on the couch. Or the counter. 

Peter stared down at his watch, watching the hands tick by as you tried to do up your shoes. Out of the corner of his eye he saw you struggling, using the wall as support- something he did almost an hour prior.

 Before he knew what he was doing, he was down on one knee. “Cmere. Up.” he scolded, and you laughed as he grabbed your foot, propping it up on his knee so he could work at it. 

“Am I that slow bug?” 

“Yes. Yes, yes painfully slow. My grandma can move faster than that.” he teased, which resulted in his head being lightly smacked. 

“I’m trying!” you huffed, the two of bickering like children on the schoolyard. “I know, I know. I’m teasing you bird.” he smiled, patting your calf as he fitted the heel to your foot, standing up with a start. 

“We got somewhere to be.”

 “That we do.” you nodded, watching as he swung the door wide open, bowing as he allowed you to pass. Your hand was grabbed, the two of you flying down the hall, laughing so hard you could barely breathe as the door slammed behind you.

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“Prepare yourself.” Peter muttered under his breath as the two of you stepped into the front foyer, the glass doors shutting out the chill wind that had followed you here. 

It was beautiful here, the ambiance of piano music trickling out near the bar, people in fancy dresses and suits lingering on the grand staircase. It felt like a hotel lobby, with all the modern elements, little pieces of gold engraved into each surface. 

“Wow this is… something else.” you mumbled, the two of you clearly out of your element as you glided through the entryway, arms linked so tightly as if you thought he'd run away. 

“It's a lot. They always go all out on New Years, which is good and bad.” 

“Good because more booze?” you assumed, nodding with a smile plastered on your face to a couple as they passed by. “Exactly. It's like… bottomless here.” 

Your eyebrows raised, knowing that could never mean anything good. Especially on New Years. “Did you want a drinking buddy?” 

He smirked. “Perhaps.”

 “Oh you're bad Parker. Such a bad, bad influence.” you giggled as he pulled you along, past the dozens of twinkle lights and traces of white tulle that made the space seem mystical and bright despite it being cold and modern.

 People stared at the two of you as he pulled you up the stairs, and you laughed as you struggled to keep up with his eager footing. Suddenly, you didn’t care what others thought of you. You were with him, and you were happy. 

Let the other couples look. You didn’t know them, and even though Peter did, he didn’t seem to care either. Let them be jealous of your happiness and the fake plastic wrinkles in their own relationships. It was their problem- not yours. 

The upper level of the building lingered with even more people, and you feared you'd get sick of them before the night even started. Still, you kept a smile plastered on your face as Peter introduced you to some of his colleagues, and though they were beyond friendly and welcoming- you continued to sip your drink. 

You were happy to be out of the house, and with Peter most of all- but there came a time when there were too many people, too much noise. Music constantly trickled from the speakers, the conversations overlapping as you drew warry. The air was thick with the smell of booze and melted chocolate, the taste still sweet on your tongue as Peter had fed you a chocolate-dipped strawberry from the fountain a few minutes prior. 

The two of you lingered in a corner somewhere, bones shaking with the vibrations of the music as the city lights washed over your skin. Hands were tight as they dug into Peter's suit, the sudden amount of drinks catching up to you all at once. 

“You doing okay birdy? Still chripin away?” he mummed down to you softly, and you nodded.

 “Yeah. Everyone is super nice and I’m having a good time I’m just..” 

“Overwhelmed?” he asked, knowing you often felt that way in a room full of people. That's why he liked to be with you- always, to protect you. To be able to pull you away and to comfort you, in times like these. 

It was darker in this spot of the room, less stimulating near the back windows, away from the bar. 

“Well I’m so proud of you for making it this long. Seriously, you have no idea what this means to me. You're doing amazing. Thank you.” he smiled, kissing the top of your head gently, making you giddy. 

You weren't sure if it was his sudden clingy affections he was portraying, or the champagne in your bloodstream that made you woozy. You felt as if you were on cloud nine, your mouth an endless stream of word jumbles that needed to spill over. 

“I love you. I love doing things with you b-bug.” you hiccuped, squeezing him around his middle even tighter, his white undershirt wrinkled from your sentiments. 

“I love you too baby. You know that, yea?”

 Baby.  

Your heart fluttered as fast as a hummingbird's wings as the pet name consumed you whole. “Yea. You’re the best Peter.” you exclaimed, hand starting to trace the buttons of the crisp shirt he wore, feeling the warmth radiate off his smooth skin as he sharply inhaled. 

He knew the game you were starting to play with him. And he indulged in it.

 “Mhmm birdy. You smell so good.” he mumbled into your hair, kissing the top of your head as you giggled. “Do I taste as good as I smell?” you teased quietly, your warm breath tickling the shell of his ear as you yanked on his shirt for him to bend down, causing goosebumps to break out across his pale skin now deep with flushed pink.

 The bulge in his pants was evident, and it took everything in him not to bend you over the nearest surface to spread your legs to show off what was his. 

“Do you wanna find out?” he slurred, breath slightly tinted with the smell of booze as he kissed your skin, anywhere he could reach. You knew it was wrong, sneaking off like highschoolers at a dance to go fuck in some corridor, but you didn’t care. 

All you knew was that his hands felt too good on your body, the way he had started to slowly feel you up, groping your tits through the dress. His words sounded too pretty when they slipped from his mouth, like silk sheets as they slid over your body. 

Doe eyes wide, you nodded innocently, knowing it would get an even bigger rise out of him. He growled, grabbing your hand as he weaved you through the crowds, bolting for the washrooms. 

The smells of perfume, the body heat and the buzz from the clusters washed off you like water as you were whisked away into the washroom, door locking behind you with a click. 

Occupied. 

You survived the spacious washroom, knowing this one room was probably worth as much- if not more than your entire apartment. 

 “They're clean don’t worry baby. I wouldn't want my whore getting all icky, now would I?” he smirked, beckoning you over to where he stood by the large vanity.

 “Although she's got such an icky mind, filled with those dirty little thoughts. Just couldn't wait could you birdy?” You felt your body get hot at his sly, mocking comments, turning you on more than you thought was even possible.

 “How could I wait Daddy?” you giggled,  giving him a little twirl before you pranced over to him, the tile cool to the touch as you leaned against it. The air was stolen from your lungs as he spun you around, bending you over the counter before you could bat an eye possessiveness coursing through his blood like hot coals crackling. 

He was needy. He had been waiting to touch you, feel you, destroy you all night. He wasn't ashamed to admit it. 

“You're such a silly girl baby. Needy lil thing..” Peter trailed off as he took you in, the soft, hazy lighting making you feel secluded and inscrutable. 

The way he looked at you made you feel beautiful. It sparked something in your chest only he could truly light, making you feel needy yet empowered. You craved the feeling, the eagerness making your thong a puddle as his once soft gaze turned ravenous. 

Pupils dark and dilated, the concentration evident on his face as he tugged at his bottom lip, as if he was scared you'd ever leave his memory.

 “I’m your needy little thing. Don’t you want me to be needy for you daddy?” You pouted, batting your eyelashes at him through the mirror as he towered over you from behind, hands squeezing your waist. 

“Always birdy. Only mine.” he smiled, and you watched as he unbuttoned his pants, a quick smack to your ass making you whimper.

 “Off.” he commanded, unzipping your dress, watching as it slid down past your shoulders, revealing your breasts to him as he tugged down your panties. 

“You're such a mess baby. Such a messy, messy girl.” he clucked his tongue as his finger glided across your folds, the sweet juices coating the pad, making him smirk. 

Your head folded down, forehead resting against the chill marble of the edge of the sink, Peter's dirty talk never failing to make you slip between his fingers like sludge. He always knew what to say, how to touch you. It was almost as if he had been keeping track, taking little notes of the slight little moves he would make before the two of you started hooking up, finding out what words made you just that more flustered. 

“Peter please jus-” Your words were cut off as he yanked your hair, forced to look back up at him.

 “I want you to look at how pretty you are when I stuff you full baby. Eyes up here- yea?” 

An O was formed as he grabbed your hips once more, wasting no time as he slipped inside you. “Fuck. Fuck birdy, look, look at me.” he stuttered, a moan slipping from your parted lips as your heated gaze met his own through the reflection. 

It was a dirty scene, the sight of the two of you making you want to squeeze your legs shut. Peter was always vocal, tonight more than usual, whether that was from the booze in his system or simply because of the fact he had you under his control like this. 

“Peter I can’t I can’t!” you babbled as you clenched around him, his cock brushing your g-spot as he fully sat inside you, slowly beginning to slip out of you to repeat the motion anew. 

“Yes, yes you can birdy you're doing so, so good for me. Just keep chirpin for daddy okay? Keep on lookin at me.” he whispered, his hand finding its place weaved in your locks, pearls shinning dimly in the light as the blush stained his cheeks. 

The moans that slipped from you drove him crazy, and he hoped to god the people outside could hear how beautiful you sounded, how pretty the slapping of skin was as he thrust into you harder. 

“I-I love you-” you breathed out as he grinned, clenching around him tighter.

 “I love you too birdy. Such a sweet girl. You gonna cum for me?” he asked mockingly, and you nodded, unable to form the words. Bliss consumed you, making you cathect as he murmured soft-spoken praises that tickled down your spine, the fullness you felt causing you to grip the counter until you swore your nails would break. 

You came with a cry of his name, clamping your hand over your mouth to try and muffle the sounds. 

“No, no sweetheart let them hear you.” he insisted, your eyes rolling to the whites as he stilled, growling as he released inside of you. Warmth spread down your inner thighs as you felt him slowly adjust, the sounds of the muffled music booming even louder through the walls. 

“Thank you bug. I needed that.” you cooed softly, sighing as he stroked your back in soothing circles before helping you get dressed again. 

“We both did.” Peter's hands were warm, his grip sweet and tender as he hugged you around your middle, leaning down to rest his head in the crook of your neck as you touched up the pearls that had fallen loose in your hair. 

“Do you think anyone noticed we were gone?” you asked, eyeballing the door that had somehow still remained locked and still- no one trying to find their way in. 

“Oh probably. They were most likely looking for you in the crowd for eye candy. I know I would be.” he shrugged and you laughed, smacking him gently. 

“You are really beautiful birdy. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” he whispered, kissing your exposed skin, making you flustered even though he had just seen you in your most vulnerable headspace two minutes earlier. 

His compliments never failed to make you feel giddy, because you knew he truly meant them. “You're not too bad yourself handsome.” you patted his cheek, linking your hand with his as you unravel yourself from the tangle of limbs, leading him back over towards the party outside. 

He paused. 

Confusion was written across your face as he held you back from unlocking the bathroom door, and you were unsure as to why he was being so hesitant to walk back out to the crowd of people who adored him. 

“Bug?” 

“Do you wanna ditch? Go to the diner and get some food or something?” he asked, chewing on his lip as he waited for your response. It was like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

Well, a second one, considering the most of the stress had been taken from them when he had fucked you like a bitch in heat. You were so happy to do things for Peter, but it was even nicer when they were with him. When the two of you were one on one. This was more like the night you had hoped for with your best friend.

 “Vanilla milkshakes?” 

He smiled, waltzing over to unlock the door, pulling it open, the colder air from the main floor hitting you all at once as you shivered. “Deal. C'mon birdy, I know a way out of here- away from everyone.” he divulged, tugging your arm as the two of you ran out into the night- clock striking midnight the second your foot stepped out onto the worn pavement. 

Fireworks shot up, all their bright blazing colours shimmering throughout the skyline as they exploded, the bell reaching its toll. You squeezed his hand a little tighter, watching the awe on his face as the shades of reds, blues and pinks shimmered in his eyes. 

New year, same man. And you wouldn't have it any other way.                                                                                                      

[mothybean]

Average

Jinx x Fem!Reader

a/n: A buddy of mine recommended me to post my fics here sooo...

This is a MA story!

Explicit Sexual Themes

Minors DNI

Both characters are 18 years old.

(Y/N is depicted as 5"1 with mid length hair.)

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Chapter 1. Ordinary

There’s nothing worse than being average. Being average never won anyone an award. It never allowed one to be picked first for sports to join their team. Most of all, being average almost always drove my thoughts to make me feel as if I wasn’t important; as if I didn't deserve to exist with the rest of the society. Not quite a nobody, but not quite somebody: a depressing limbo.

Average. 

The way the word rolled off my tongue made me want to rip it out, tainting my mouth with such a despicable word. I’ve been average pretty much all of my life. I would rather be super nerdy if that allowed attention from someone other than my small knit group of friends. I yearned to be something other than what most would consider an NPC. It was a curse. 

I huffed silently as I let the negative thoughts thunder inside my head, each pessimistic worry bouncing back and forth against my skull like a rabid squirrel trying to escape animal control. I slumped in my chair, my arms dangling off the sides with my cheek squished against my notes staring off into a bookshelf across from me. I really should be studying, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pick my head up. I was too busy drowning in my dismal self-reflection.  As I stared at a random thick leather book spine, another intrusive thought appeared. Did studying in the school’s library during my free period make me even more average? Should I study underneath a busy overpass? Or maybe in the middle of the street?

“You look lively.” I heard a familial voice say behind me. 

Still too upset to move, I lazily lifted my arm to give them a half-assed wave before letting my arm go limp again. I heard Calista snort before she stood in front of me, blocking my intense staring contest between the leather book and me. She placed her hands on her hips, giving me her infamous look of disbelief.

“Goin’ through it again, huh?” Her displeased look softened into one of empathy, taking the seat in front of her.

I nodded softly, my cheek slightly sliding the paper beneath it. “Oh, Y/n. There, there.” She sighed, giving my head a couple of pats. “Is it the usual Y/n thought special a la carte?” She chuckled, leaning on the table with their head supported by her hands.

“Yeah…” I trailed off, flashing her a pair of somber eyes. “When is it not?”

She dropped her pastel pink satchel onto the table, the thud resonating between the table and my head. Calista started to dig through her bag, various sounds emitting from it as she blindly searched for something. A few more seconds of noisy clutter clashing around echoed before she exclaimed, “Aha!” She triumphantly pulled out the item, hiding it within her closed fist and extended it out towards me.  “Give me your hand.” Calista demanded.

I pinched my brows together with curiosity as I held my palm under her fist. She opened her hand and a small blue wrapped candy fell into my palm. A Blue Raspberry Warhead. I should have known. Were they my favorite? Yes. Did she only ever give them to me when I was being “sour”? Also yes. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I unwrapped the citric acid coated shell, my mouth already salivating from thinking about it. I finally separated my cheek from the table, sitting up straight in my chair as I popped the vibrant blue candy in my mouth.

“Better?” She beamed, closing her bag before dropping it at her feet.

I rolled my eyes, trying to regulate the amount of saliva I was producing and nodded slightly. She knew me better than anyone else. I was grateful for her.

“Yeah. Thank you.” I replied, moving the candy to my opposite cheek.

She watched as I enjoyed my little sour delight, her face visibly concerned before giving a forced shutter.

“I don’t know how you can just eat those with a straight face. Any normal person would be puckering until their whole face was sucked in.” She stuck her tongue out and let out a low, guttural sound of disgust.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her comment, sticking out my blue stained tongue at her. I guess I wasn’t completely “normal” after all. Even if it was over something trivial as being sour resistant. I’ll take it.

“Our free period is almost over. Wanna walk to class with me?” She asked, glancing at her matching pink smart watch while simultaneously reaching for her bag.

“Mhm.” I mumbled, gathering my loose notes sprawled in front of me. 

As I gathered my belongings, the raucous laughter of a group of girls reverberated through the library, their footsteps echoing loudly as they made their way towards the exit. Not wanting to look like a weirdo, I discreetly stole glances at them, envying their perfect hair and bodies swaying with each step. They were the epitome of popularity in our school, often referred to as the It Girls given by yours truly. I felt jealousy surge through my veins. They looked like fucking models while I’m over here looking like Plain Jane’s sister, Basic Betty.

There was one girl in particular out of the bunch that stood out to me, Jinx. Not only was her name super edgy, but she was the most gorgeous girl to me. Her strikingly long blue hair was typically meticulously woven into two flawless braids, cascading gracefully down to her ankles. Her complexion? Flawless. Her outfits were always so trendy, constantly wearing a mixture of alternative, yet stylish comfy clothes. And, probably one of my favorite attributes about her, she had a sleeve of baby blue cloud tattoos going down her right arm that were almost always visible. That girl was just effortlessly oozing perfection. She was so lucky. 

“Ready?” I asked Calista, tearing my eyes away from the girls, hoisting a single backpack strap on my shoulder. She replied with a smile and started towards the exit.

As I tailed a few steps behind her, my mind once again started to plummet into a tumultuous sea of self-deprecating thoughts, each wave crashing against the shores of my consciousness with a relentless force, dragging me deeper into the abyss of despair. God, I wanted to be her.

[myfandomlikesandstories]

Successful! Llewyn Davis AU headcanons

Llewyn Davis x gn! reader

Genre: fluff, slight angst

Summary: what if Llewyn became a famous musician?

Warnings: mention of murder

Word count: 1088

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It was just another slightly drunken, shitty night at the gaslight for Llewyn. Nearly empty bucket, scattered clapping that died out after a second. Except it wasn't. He didn't know it was the night that would change his life.

You were sitting in the audience. You weren't a regular at the gaslight, not at all, but tonight you were just craving a strong drink and company. The other bars in the neighborhood were too loud and bright for you that night, so you settled on the dim, depressing, "folk song playing" place.

You clapped politely for everyone, not listening, as you nursed your bitter drink and bitter mood. Until something caught your attention. A handsome (albeit a bit shabby) man with the voice of an angel, who you likened in your mind to a wet cat.

You didn't listen to the words he said. Not that you didn't try, but his voice awoke something within you. As a songwriter on a slump, you jumped the chance and started scribbling on a napkin from the table. Just whatever came to mind. Nothing would come of it anyway, but it's good for your writer's block.

When he left the stage, you downed the rest of your drink and hurried towards him. You slowed before he saw you, trying to maintain your cool.

"Davis, right?" You asked.

"Yeah," he answered and you extended your arm to him while introducing yourself. He shook it tentatively.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Llewyn thought about it. He automated to say no, but reconsidered. He had nothing better to do, could definitely use that drink, and you looked pretty damn good. So he accepted.

After some conversation (he didn't remember anyone being that nice to him for a long time), you asked him what were his plans for the night. He told you that he was staying with a couple of friends, those Jim and Jean couple, and they happened to pass by.

Jim was nudged by Jean towards Llewyn and awkwardly told him that actually, he couldn't stay on their couch tonight. Jean made some plans. You could see Llewyn's face fall, and when Jim left he just stared downwards quietly, in embarrassment.

"Correction: I'm not staying with them tonight." He mumbled.

You took a deep breath. "You could stay with me, if you'd like. My boyfriend-" you cleared your throat, "Ex boyfriend, just moved out and took all his shit from the study with him. So I got an empty guest room." (Why were you doing this? He's a stranger for fuck's sake!)

He looked at you, surprised. A quick mental calculation showed he had no one else to turn to that night. What's the worst that could happen? You'd kill him? He'd been thinking of joining Mike anyway. So he accepted.

Suffice to say, you didn't murder him. A while has passed, and Llewyn has become your roommate, practically. Yeah, he couldn't help much with the rent, but he did make that up by cleaning a lot, which sometimes is even better.

(Also, it was the 60s, rent wasn't that fucking high. It was about less than half of what it is today.) ANYWAY

One day, while dusting around, Llewyn found a notebook of yours. He didn't mean to peek, it just fell open or something. It was your poetry and songwriting notebook. By the time you came back home he had composed 3 of the songs there and was flooding you with questions about the chorus of a fourth.

You never thought to show it to him, you were just writing to your drawer! They weren't even good, or complete! You wanted to snatch it away from his hands and tell him to forget about it, but you've never seen him so happy. So alive.

He begged you to let him take your songs to his agent. How could you say no to him? Especially to those puppy eyes.

His agent was glad to hear Llewyn has partnered up again. He heard him out, and set him up with some producer. Finally, Llewyn Davis seemed like a good enough investment. And that's how it started.

From then on, Llewyn's career blossomed. He recorded an album (didn't sell away the rights this time) and the money started flowing. He preformed in front of larger and larger audiences, and you were always at his side.

He often felt like he didn't deserve any of that. He was told, so many times, that he was absolute crap and he started to believe it. But you were there to remind him. He deserved the world. Little did you know the only thing he truly wanted to deserve was you.

You inspired each other, creating more music and flowing with good energy. It took him a while, but when he finally found the courage, finally deemed himself worthy, he took a risk.

He asked you out.

When you started laughing at him, Llewyn's heart dropped. He's fucked his life over, again, in the worst way possible. You're going to leave and everything will go down the drain.

"Of course!!!" You said. "I'd love to go out with you, I thought you'd never ask! But oh my god your face..." you giggled. He sighed in relief, clutching his chest. You came closed and hugged him. He held you very tightly, smiling at your laughter.

That night you shared your first (and long awaited) kiss. A few months later you put out an album very different than both your writing so far. It was passionate, sensual, romantic and warm. One of the songs from it became the hit of the decade, and was played at countless weddings. You thought it was a beautiful way to immortalise your love.

And your love was immortalised alright! With two rings, nonetheless. Your wedding was covered by every newspaper in the country. Llewyn didn't like the attention all that much, though.

His solution? Another, more quiet and private wedding. This one ended up being your real anniversary.

Ever since Llewyn started earning a reasonable income, he insisted on paying for everything. Doesn't matter that you both earned a significant amount from the music, and that you joined bank accounts. He wanted to thank you for all that time you took care of him. So no, lunch is on him. Finally being able to provide for you made him really happy and proud (not that you needed any help).

You were one of the only "celebrity couples" who were genuinely happy together. You truly, deeply, loved each other, and when things would become too much you would take a vacation. Just the two of you. As it always was.

Llewyn made it in life, that was all agreed upon. Yeah, he became a famous musician, but the only thing he cared about - was you.

--------------------

No pressure tags:

@eyelessfaces @alwritey-aphrodite @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @romanarose @spider-starry

I hope you like it, everybody❤️

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Burnin’ Up - Firefighter!Chris AU (Part 11: How You Get The Girl)

Summary: Chris pulls out all the stops to try and win you back

Word Count: 7.9k

Warnings: Angst! Language! FLUFF!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​​

Meet the Characters!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 11: How You Get The Girl

The one part of Rom Coms that Chris always took issue with was the scene where the protagonist has gone through a breakup and is sat moping in their apartment with a pint of ice cream, and an alcoholic beverage of their choice while listening to sad and depressing breakup songs. He just didn’t think it was that believable, people had jobs and other responsibilities they needed to focus on. People may want to just mope around but life just didn’t work that way.

He could add that to the growing list of things he was wrong about.

Because after running into you at the store that was the exact mood he fell into. If he was still working he would probably be fine but he wasn’t, he was still suspended so his days were spent sitting on the couch watching movies that didn’t make him feel good about himself and eating whatever junk food was closest to him. At least he was off the painkillers meaning he could actually drink again now.

So here he was sitting like a sap on the couch, beer bottle in one hand, a bag of chips not too far out of his reach as he slumped back against the back cushion. Letting out a long sigh he grabbed the TV remote, he started scrolling through all the movies before deciding on his all-time favourite ‘Legend of the fall’, the movie has barely played the title card and Chris had to turn it off, remembering the last time that he watched this movie.

“fuck” he growled out throwing his head back, screwing his eyes shut in frustration and anguish.

No matter what he did there was always some reminder of you. When he watched Zootopia with the kids and could only think of that photo of you and Benny, whenever a cop appeared on whatever show he’d stuck on. Whenever his mind would wander and he’d start picking at the label of his beer and remembering you would do the exact same thing.

“Well that answers the question I was asking myself” he heard someone mutter behind him.

Looking over his shoulder he spotted Scott standing just behind the couch, his nose scrunched up as he frowned down at his older brother.

“When did you get here?” Chris huffed.

“just a second ago, Ma asked me to check in on you since you’ve been acting strange again,” Scott says walking around the back of the couch to stand in front of Chris.

“I’m fine” Chris states keeping his head low.

“yeah, I call bullshit so we’re gonna go….” Scott says a smirk playing on his lips as he glanced over to Dodger who was instantly interested.

“don’t” Chris warned sending a look up at his brother hoping to scare him off.

“for a walk!” Scott announced clapping his hands together making Dodger leap up like a shot.

“I hate you” Chris grumbled glaring up at his brother as Dodger pranced between the two of them.

“no you don’t, c’mon it’ll be good! You can work off all those chips” Scott says grabbing the bag of chips in question, and munching on a couple.

“fine but just a quick one, I’m still sore if I do too much” Chris sighs pushing himself up from the couch knowing there was no way Scott was going to let it slide.

He grabbed a hoodie that had been dumped on the side and slid on his trainers before grabbing his Nasa cap, securing it low on his head. He turned back to Scott who had already put Dodger on his leash.

“What?” Chris muttered when he saw the smirk on Scott’s face.

“oh nothing, you just have the angsty teen look down to a tee” Scott smirks giving him a sarcastic thumbs up.

“you’re an ass” Chris huffs as he opens up the front door and steps outside not bothering to look behind him to see if Scott was following.

The three of them made their way into the wooded area nearby, both the Evans brothers walking in silence as Dodger ran through the trees. The tension was palpable and Chris knew it was only a matter of time before Scott started asking questions and prodding Chris for answers. So he decided to delay it as long as possible.

“how’s Steve?” Chris asked looking down at his feet, focussing on putting one foot in front of the other.

“he’s good, we went bowling the other day which was fun, we’re thinking of trying to find a team to join, or set up our own” Scott tells him shrugging his shoulders.

“That sounds nice” Chris hums “did he say anything about how it’s been at the station?”

“same old same old, nothing dramatic has happened since well… since you,” Scott says shrugging his shoulders “they miss you though and I know they can’t wait until you’re back”

A small smile tugged at Chris’ lips hearing that there was always a little voice in his head that told him otherwise, that his crew would barely notice his absence, maybe even welcome it “me neither, I hate being stuck in the house”

“a good thing I got you out and about then hey?” Scott smirked nudging Chris with his elbow.

“yeah, I guess” Chris sighs shrugging his shoulders as he stuffs his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“plus you’ll be back in no time, it’s been what 4 weeks already?” Scott points out.

“closer to 5 now” Chris mutters.

“Exactly, and you’ll be back at work saving lives, fighting fires in no time,” Scott tells him putting a hand on Chris’ shoulder.

Chris just hums in agreement keeping his gaze on the floor in front of his feet. He could feel Scott watching him but thankfully silence fell between the two of them once more. Chris hoped that it meant Scott wouldn’t pry anymore.

“oh guess what I saw Y/N the other day,” Scott says making Chris internally groan, so close.

“Really?” Chris hummed trying to act casual and not like he was clambering for any information he could get.

“yeah, she was in this super intense pursuit! It was like something out of a cop film, jumping over stuff, dodging in and out of pedestrians! She tackled this massive dude, the both of them tussling on the floor, hands and feet everywhere! She finally subdued him though but god it looked rough!” Scott exclaims blowing a large huff of air as he shook his head.

“shit is she okay? Did she get hurt?” Chris demanded unable to stop his concern for you from showing.

“yeah I made it all up I just wanted to see whether you were still moping over her” Scott smirks victoriously.

Chris’ jaw ticked as he clenched his fist trying to stop himself from doing something rash like slamming Scott into the nearest tree in response to the near heart attack he almost gave him. He barely controlled his anger as he pointed at his little brother “don’t you dare joke about that sort of thing!” Chris growled.

Scott held up his hands “okay, okay I’m sorry, it was a low blow but it was the only way I could get you to open up”

“there’s nothing to open up about!” Chris exclaimed throwing his arms out “I blew every chance I had and I’m not going to get another! Ever!”

Scott sighs his shoulders slumping as he looked back over at Chris “that can’t be true”

“it is” Chris shakes his head, “she told me so herself”

Scott sighs pursing his lips in thought “are you sure, tell me everything that she said, word for word” he presses, Chris, sighs dropping his head and shaking it about to protest “Chris please, you might have missed something”

Chris sighs reluctantly agreeing, he runs through the last time he saw you, what had happened, and what had been said. Scott listened intensely, never once interrupting as he took in every piece of information Chris provided him.

“and then she said she couldn’t let it happen again so I should just leave her alone and forget about her” Chris finished with a shaky breath.

“whoa” Scott mutters biting at his lower lip.

“yeah so it’s a lost cause, I just need to do as she says and try and forget” Chris sighs rubbing his forehead tiredly.

“I dunno… I think you still might have a chance” Scott says shrugging his shoulders.

Chris scoffs shaking his head “you did just hear exactly what I said right?” he asks in disbelief.

“yeah and she said she could never hate you, she still has a lot of love for you” Scott points out.

“she doesn’t trust me though” Chris sighs shaking his head.

“yeah well, you just have to try and explain it all, show her why she can trust you despite all of this” Scott reasons.

“I don’t think that’ll fix it” Chris mutters kicking a small pebble.

Scott sighs “you know that family meeting ma called a few days back? the one where she told us all about her and dad?”

Chris nods remembering the meeting well. The day after Chris had gone over to apologise she called all the Evans siblings in for a family meeting to completely clear the air about what had really happened in the divorce. It wasn’t an easy meeting to say the least, a lot of feelings were aired, and many emotions were processed.

“well do you know where I went after that meeting?” Scott asks arching a brow in question, Chris shook his head in response “I went straight to Steve’s” Scott says making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise “I told him everything and he said he understood it, that he’d seen there were walls inside me because of it and he said he wanted to help me break them down together”

Chris was stunned into silence, blinking a couple of times as he processed what Scott had told him “and I bet Y/N has seen the same walls in you but you need to let her in if you want to break them down” Scott sighs shaking his head gently.

Chris nods swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat “but how? How do I even get the chance to tell her? she won’t listen to me” he says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

“I think it’s time you stopped burying the hopeless romantic in you,” Scott says with a knowing look “let him take charge on this one, and hey if you’re stuck there’s a million different songs and movies out there with romantic gestures, just take a leaf out of that book”

Chris looks back at Scott unconvinced “do you really think that will work?” he asks uncertain.

“you’ll look like a madman but at least you’ll have her attention long enough to say your piece, and it’ll be on your terms unlike in the grocery store when it was sprung on you,” Scott says squeezing Chris’ shoulder.

Chris nods feeling somewhat optimistic for the first time in days. He knew it was still a slim chance but it was a chance and that was all he needed and as long as he had that chance he would fight every day to win you back.

“Thanks Scott,” Chris says with a small smile.

“It's nothing just make sure I’m your best man” Scott smirks winking over at him.

Chris laughs, properly laughs for the first time in what feels like weeks “you’re my best man no matter what”

You let out a long tired sigh closing your front door behind you, slumping against it as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Today had been a long day, you had been looking for evidence all day trying to find a way to catch this drug ring leader but it had been dead end after dead end.

Pushing yourself up from the door you trudged over to your bedroom, quickly shrugging off your jacket and dumping it on your bed. stepping inside your bathroom you turned on the shower, and stripping down you stepped into the shower letting the hot water run down your body.

Closing your eyes you counted to ten, you knew this case wasn’t going to be easy. You were trying to tackle a large-scale drug ring, this could be a case you would work on for years, only ever arresting the small-time drug dealers who would refuse to spill any intel.

You decided to spend longer than you normally would in the shower. You needed a pick me up so self-care was the way forward, it was almost embarrassing to say you had let a few things slip in the last few weeks since the whole Chris thing.

By the time you stepped out of the shower, the sun had set and rain was pattering against the windows. Even though you were scared of storms there was always something cosy about rain, you enjoyed wrapping yourself up in a blanket, a hot cup of cocoa and a book in hand.

So you did just that, you got on your comfiest clothes grabbed your favourite blanket, made yourself a steaming cup of cocoa and settled down on the couch with a book.

You had only gotten a couple of chapters in when you hear something against your window. You flinched at the noise, freezing for a moment to assess what you’d just heard. You gulped slightly, and the worry that a storm was rolling in washed over you. the last storm you dealt with was the one at Chris’ house and while that started off terrible it was the first time you managed to get through the night not completely frozen in fear, you’d felt safe.

You waited a couple of moments to see if something happened but it didn’t, there wasn’t a flash of lightning or clap or thunder. You were about to snuggle back down into the couch when you heard the noise again, this time it was much clearer and you could hear a definitive ping.

Frowning in confusion you slowly push yourself up from your couch, you crept towards your window hearing a couple more pings as you got closer. It was only when you reached the window that you saw it was tiny little rocks being thrown at your window. Blinking a couple of times in surprise you looked down at the street groaning when you saw who it was.

“oh for fuck sake” you grumble pushing the window open “what the hell are you doing!?” you shout down at him.

Chris was standing there staring back up at you as if he was shocked you had even responded, a smile tugging at his lips “I’m trying to win you back, like in the movies!” Chris shouted back holding his arms out.

“what the hell?” you exclaim looking down at him with a bewildered expression.

“This is how it goes right, you know me standing here like a ghost shaking from the rain” Chris calls up doing a fake shiver “you’ll call me insane and open up the door,” he says pointing up to you.

“you are fucking insane Chris!” you shout pinching the bridge of your nose unable to believe this was actually happening.

“I know but I thought the ink on the cue cards would run and it wouldn’t be good to use a stereo in the rain, so standing here proclaiming my feelings in the rain is my only option” Chris shouts back up with a small chuckle.

You roll your eyes at him “I know exactly how you feel Chris and I don’t want to hear anymore!” you shout down at him.

Chris was about to shout something back but was interrupted when your neighbour opened his window and shouted “what’s going on out here?” the old man questions as he pokes his head out.

“nothing Mr Jenkins I’ve got it handled,” you tell him forcing a smile, nobody irritated you more than your elderly neighbour.

“Are you sure dear I can call the police?” he offers pushing up his large bifocals.

You gritted your teeth in annoyance, you had told him multiple times that you were a police officer yet he never seemed to pay attention. Always more than willing to call the cops no matter how small the situation or the fact that you, a police officer lived in the building.

You were about to shout a snarky response back to him but Chris beat you to it “hey! You do realise she is a cop” Chris shouts glaring up at your neighbour.

Mr Jenkin's eyes widen in surprise glancing over at you before looking back at Chris “are you sure?” he questions making you growl in frustration.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Chris fires back, fury clear in his eyes as he glared at the old man “she’s the fucking best in the business! She is not just any cop she is a sergeant and she’s the best kind of cop because she cares! It isn’t about stats or arrest numbers with her she actually wants to help people!” he bellows.

Your jaw drops in surprise, you hadn’t expected him to defend you like that and even though you were still very hurt and angry with him you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell. Jake had never done anything like that, if anything he’d played along with Mr Jenkins.

“oh I’m sorry dear you should have told me,” Mr Jenkins says looking over at you “I’ll leave you to it, just holler if you need me to call for back up”

You force a smile nodding quickly as he went back inside and shut his window. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath to centre yourself before looking back down at Chris. You were about to thank him but you couldn’t open that door, you couldn’t let him in you had to shut him out.

“Y/N-“ he started but you interrupted him.

“Chris can you just leave me alone please!” You shout down to him, moving to shut the window

“I lied!” Chris shouted

“I know Chris you told me already!” You scoff shaking your head at him.

“No in the hospital, I lied when I said I didn’t love you, because fuck… I love you Y/N so fucking much it terrified me” Chris says shaking his head.

“I- I don’t believe you” you stutter in shock.

“It's true, and I said it because I was scared, scared that I’d hurt you, that I’d break your heart” Chris explains “my parents were my definition of love for practically all my life! So when they got divorced my faith in love was broken because all I’ve ever heard is how I'm just like my dad, I tried to not believe it but with every failed relationship it just me more and more hopeless because if he broke my ma’s heart I was destined to do the same!” Chris exclaims gesturing wildly with his hands, pausing for a moment as he took a steadying breath “but I’m not my dad, I’m my own person and I know I’ve hurt you so many times already but I’m begging you please to give me another chance because I’ve never felt this way about anyone else and honestly… you’re it for me and I know I’m gonna find it terrifying, scared that one day my job could take me away from you and the pain that could cause but that fear is the exact reason why I know I should do this… because it just shows how much I care and love you”

Your mouth opened and shut repeatedly as you tried to process everything that he said “Chris i-“ you start unable to find anything else to say.

“Y/N please just let me up and I’ll answer any questions you might have, let me show you that you can trust me” Chris begged holding his hands together in a pleading motion.

You slowly nodded your head “oh-okay let- let me just buzz you in” you stutter going to step back from the window.

“wait no! it's okay I can climb up” he shouted quickly moving over to the fire escape.

“Chris no it's okay I can just buzz you-“ you start but it was no use, Chris had already jumped up to reach the ladder with a small grimace and started climbing.

Soon enough Chris was climbing into your apartment through your window, quickly shaking the rain from his hair before shutting the window. The two of you stood a couple of feet apart in silence just staring at each other, neither really knowing what to say.

“hi,” Chris muttered.

“hi” you whispered back, your voice cracking.

Silence fell in the room once more and you knew Chris was just waiting for you to say something but you didn’t know what to say. He had just proclaimed his love for you, told you that you were it for him, and you needed a bit of time to process it all.

“Y/N um-“ Chris starts wrapping his arms around himself hiding a small shiver.

“you’re cold” you interrupt “you’re gonna catch a chill, wait here while I get you a change of clothes or something,” you say completely flustered “do you want a hot drink?”

“Y/N,” Chris says gently.

“A shower? I can put your clothes in the dryer?” you continue to ramble turning to move.

“Y/N” Chris says with a gentle chuckle reaching out to take your hand stopping you from your flustering.

You bit your lip slowly turning around to face him, as soon as your eyes met his and tears welled up in your eyes. Chris’ face fell when he saw your tears.

“shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry, please don’t cry” he muttered shaking his head.

Your hand shook as you quickly wiped away your tears “no- no its okay-“

“no it's not, fuck I keep making it worse and I’m sorry, I just love you so much and I want to make this right but if you need more time,” Chris says quickly dropping your hand and taking a step back.

“no- please don’t- I-“ you stutter before taking a deep breath “I love you too Chris” you whispered.

Chris’ jaw dropped and tears welled up in his eyes “you do?” he mutters in disbelief.

You nod your head sniffling back the tears “I never stopped, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop” you admit.

Chris lets out a watery chuckle, taking a couple of steps closer, and closing the distance. His hand slowly and shakily moves to cup your cheek, his thumb gently brushing over your skin “can I kiss you?” he whispers.

You chuckled nodding your head “please do”

Chris smiled down at you, he slowly leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The kiss started off slow and hesitant, the both of you just waiting for the other to pull back but that never happened. Meaning the kiss only deepened, all the pent-up feelings spilling out making up for lost time.

“I missed you so so much, and I promise I’m all in,” Chris says once you finally broke for air.

“I missed you too” you whisper your hands resting on his chest “and are you okay? It sounds like you’ve been through a lot”

Chris lets out a small chuckle “I had a lot of growing and relearning to do, and admittedly there’s still a lot to do but I would do it a hundred times over if it meant I got to have you” he says brushing some hair out of your face, his fingers gently trailing over your skin.

You smile up at him “so are we doing this? Us?” you ask him.

“I’m in if you’re in” Chris promises.

“I’m in, but you have to promise me that you’ll be completely honest with me, we need to be able to communicate, no outbursts because it’s been all bottled up,” you tell him, pointing up at him.

“deal I will try to be as open and honest as I can” Chris promises putting a hand on his heart “and look about your father” he starts but you stop him by putting your finger to his lips.

“I don’t want to talk about him,” you say shaking your head.

Chris sighs gently, his hands running up and down your arms “I know, and I promise I won’t bring him up if you don’t want to but we kinda need to address the fact that out of everyone I’m the guy he’d hate the most dating you” he points out.

You sigh nodding your head, he was right after all “you’re right, but I don’t want that to stop us, I’ll work it out and in the meantime, we’ll just keep it on the down low, keep it professional at work and only tell the people we trust” you suggest.

A smirk grows on Chris’ face as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer into his embrace “keeping you all to myself I like that”

You chuckle pushing back “you’re making me all soggy” you complain “let me go get you a change of clothes before you get ill”

“fine but as soon as I’m changed I’m never letting you go ever again” Chris smiles leaning down to kiss you.  

“I wouldn’t mind that one bit” you grin stepping out of his embrace.

It didn’t take long to find some spare clothes for Chris to wear, you hadn’t realised you were starting to build a small collection already, it hadn’t even occurred to you that the hoodie you were currently wearing also belonged to him.

“here you go, and um stay as long as you like, I know you probably need to get back for Dodger,” you say as you pass him the pile of clothes.

“my ma is looking after him,” Chris tells you as he takes the clothes, quickly pulling off his sodden clothes and slipping on the dry ones.

You arch a brow in surprise “were you really that confident?” you ask him.

“no” Chris chuckles shaking his head “well actually I guess it was more 50/50, I knew that I’d either end up here or go back to my ma’s to drown my sorrows,” he says with a lopsided smile.

You laugh shaking your head at him “well you are more than welcome to stay the night, I have tomorrow off so there won’t be a rush to leave in the morning and I promise I won’t make you sleep on the couch this time” a small smirk playing at your lip.

A grin grows on Chris’ face “now that sounds like my idea of perfect, but… I have to be completely honest with you as much as I’d love to show you exactly how much I missed you, I want to do this right… I want to take you out first, on a proper date”

“you do realise none of what we’ve done is conventional so far” you remind him taking a step closer, and resting your hands on his chest.

“I know” he chuckles “but I wanna start it off right this time and well… my chest is still kinda sore so I wouldn’t be at my best and you deserve nothing less”

Your face falls slightly with realisation your hands quickly moving off his chest “oh shit I completely forgot, how could I forget? Do you need anything painkillers? How are you? and the burns?” you say beginning to fret over him.

Chris chuckles gently, grabbing your wrists to stop you “I’m fine, burns are healed and the ribs nearly are too, I just can’t do anything strenuous” he says his thumbs brushing over your skin to calm you.

“oh.. okay good, but you tell me as soon as you need anything okay?” you tell him, giving him a stern look to show you were serious.

Chris smiles down at you “all I need is you” he whispers as he cups your cheek and brings your lips up to his.

Ta-thump, Ta-thump, Ta-thump.

You slowly woke to the sound of a steady and reassuring heartbeat, a blanket of warmth enveloping you making it near impossible to wake up. Slowly but surely you managed to open your eyes, tilting your head up and smiling when you laid eyes on Chris.

You had your head resting on his chest, nuzzled right underneath his chin, both his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he was scared you’d disappear in the night. You wouldn’t though, despite everything there was nowhere else you’d rather be right now.

This wasn’t the first time you’d woken up in Chris’ arms but this was the first time you could really appreciate it. you didn’t have to sneak out to get to work or act all flustered because you were ‘just friends’, this was really happening, you and him. It was exciting and terrifying, but so much still needed to be discussed to give this the best shot possible.

“I can hear you thinking” Chris murmured pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You let out a small snort of laughter lifting your head from his chest so you could look at him, smiling when you saw the sleepy smile on his face “oh yeah what did it sound like?”

“you know that noise that an old laptop makes when it sounds like it’s about to take off?” Chris hums a small smirk playing on his lips.

You gasp slapping his shoulder as you sat up “how rude!”

Chris lets out a loud laugh wrapping his arms around you tightly, and pulling you back down into his embrace “I’m joking, did you sleep well last night? The storm didn’t disturb or spook you too much did it?” he asks his fingers gently running through tendrils of your hair.

You frown pushing yourself up again to look down at him “storm? What storm?”

Chris blinks a couple of times, confusion clear on his face before slowly a smile replaces it “you slept through it” he mutters before shaking his head slightly “I wasn’t sure because you flinched a couple of times, I’m so proud of you” he smiles brushing some hair out of your face.

“but- but I didn’t do anything” you stutter shaking your head.

“you got through it, and maybe knowing that will help with the next one”  he smiles, his hands moving to rest on top of yours, fingers weaving between yours.

“whoa” you mutter under your breath, never in your entire life had you been able to sleep through a storm, even at your best you’d still wake up and remain wide awake until the final crack of lightning.

“so what do you want to do today? My ma said she’d look after dodger for as long as needed so I’m free all day?” Chris says as you shifted back down to lie down with him.

“I don’t know, I haven’t had a proper lazy day in a while, but you’re probably sick of doing nothing” you hum glancing up at him.

“a little, but doing nothing with you sounds perfect” he smiles kissing the top of your head “so why don’t you go grab a shower and I’ll put the coffee on?”

You smile nodding your head and quickly pecking his lips before climbing out of bed, and making your way over to your bathroom you paused at the door glancing over your shoulder at him. You smiled to yourself as you took in the sight of him laying in your bed, smiling back at you.

“enjoying the view?” he asks with a smirk, you fail to hold back a smile nodding your head in response “good because me too”

Once you were showered you made your way out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen, following the scent of coffee and breakfast. Rounding the corner to your kitchen you spotted Chris standing at the hob, tea towel draped over his shoulder as he scrambled some eggs.

“ah just in time, I made my famous scrambled pesto eggs” Chris grins as he begins to plate up your breakfast.

“you cooked?” you ask in surprise as you sat down.

“of course, I made you your coffee too” Chris smiles passing you a steaming cup of coffee, kissing the top of your head.

You smile gratefully as you take a sip of your coffee, your smile growing when you realise it had been made in the exact way you like it “thank you so much Chris you really didn’t have to”

Chris shrugs as he sits down opposite you “I know but I wanted to” he smiles sipping on his own cup of coffee.

“well thank you anyway, it looks delicious” you smile.

A comfortable silence falls in the room as the two of you eat breakfast together, sipping on coffee and just enjoying each other’s company. A couple of times you wanted to bring up all the thoughts you’d been thinking since you woke up, but you just didn’t know how and you didn’t want to burst this perfect bubble you found yourself in.

“I was thinking we should probably talk a few things through, make sure we’re on the same page,” Chris says setting his cup of coffee down.

You breathe out a deep sigh of relief “yes, I was thinking the exact same thing, I want this to work and I don’t want to wait for an issue to crop up” you say.

“Exactly so let's air any concerns we have now and come up with solutions” Chris nods.

“okay well we already kinda covered communication last night, no bottling things up we need to be honest and open about how we’re feeling, so I guess we should talk about our jobs,” you say shrugging your shoulders slightly.

“yeah I mean we both know how unpredictable our schedules can be, plans might change last minute, and we could go days without having a full day off together” Chris points out gesturing with his hand.

“I would suggest a date night but that hasn’t really worked for me in the past, something can always crop up” you sigh shrugging your shoulders.

Chris hum pursing his lips in thought, glancing off to the side “how about a shared calendar? My sister has one for her husband and the kids, helps them keep on track of where everyone is and they can plan stuff, we can try and find at least one evening a week that we do something and easily move it around our work schedules” he suggests looking back over at you.

“what if we have to stay late or something though? Like you get called out in the last half hour of your shift” you point out.

“we’ll text, send a code or something so the other person knows what’s happening” Chris suggests making you chuckle.

“like our own dispatcher code?” you smirk.

“exactly like that, we could have some fun with it… call in a code 69” he smirks.

You gasp laughing at him and shaking your head “Christopher!” you couldn’t deny the sudden warmth you felt in your body, making you shift in your seat.

“don’t act like you don’t love it” Chris winks.

“okay fine” you concede smiling over at him “a code it is” you agree before reaching out across the table to take his hand “we should probably also talk about the dangers associated with our jobs”

Chris swallows quietly nodding his head “yeah we should” he breathes out.

“it’s going to be impossible for us not to worry about each other, I won’t lie and say watching you go into that building and getting hurt wasn’t the scariest moment of my life,” you tell him.

Chris nods looking back at you full of remorse, his hand shifting underneath yours so he could hold onto you, squeezing your hand gently.

“but we have to trust that we’ll be okay, promise that we won’t take stupid risks,” you say with a pointed look, the corners of Chris’ mouth twitching upwards for a split second.

“I promise, no more running into buildings without the proper equipment” Chris swears putting his free hand on his heart.

“and we can make a code for it too, so whenever there’s a high-risk call out we text the other saying that we’re safe” you suggest.

Chris nods “that sounds like a really good plan, and I am so sorry again about that,” he says squeezing your hand.

“I know it's fine, I understand and I forgave you, I know why you made your decision to go in and honestly I probably would have done the same” you sigh.

Chris smiles lifting your hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles “god I love you” he sighs.

“I love you too” you smile.

“Another thing I want to clear the air on and I promise I won’t bring it up again” Chris starts shifting slightly in his seat.

“my father?” you guess with a heavy sigh.

Chris nods with an apologetic look in his eyes “I just-“ he sighs looking down for a moment “I’m sorry for what I said about him, we clearly see the situation differently and I just want to let you know that I support whatever you want to do”

You take a deep but shaky breath nodding your head “thank you…” you sigh, nibbling at your lower lip “I know he wasn’t the best parent… and he is an ass sometimes… but he’s the only family I have left and I think he still did the best job he could raising me, he isn’t a monster” you say shaking your head.

“okay” Chris sighs nodding his head “you know the situation best so I’ll take your word on it”

“thank you, Chris, that really means a lot,” you say squeezing his hand.

He gives you a reassuring smile “it's nothing now c’mere” he says tugging your hand and pulling you out of your seat and towards him, he then tugs you down onto his lap, burying his head in the crook of your neck and kissing your neck.

“We have one last thing we need to discuss” you whisper as you snuggle down into his lap.

“what’s that?” he murmurs against your skin.

“Can I call you my boyfriend?” you ask a grin tugging at your lips as you turned to face him.

Chris smiles back up at you, his hand moving to cup your cheek “only if I get to call you my girlfriend” he whispers against your lips before capturing them with his own.

You smile into the kiss nodding your head in answer, your heart swelling with so much emotion you think it could burst. You had never been happier in your life and you couldn’t wait to see what was to come.

You couldn’t recall having a day as good as the day you had today. Because it was perfect, everything just fell into place perfectly, like how it was almost meant to be. You and Chris had spent the entire day in domestic bliss, you watched TV cuddled up together, and read books with your feet in his lap. You cooked lunch and dinner together and cleaned up afterwards together.

And it all felt so natural. Like you had been doing this for years already.

It was so perfect that you tried to convince Chris to stay another night. But he just gently shook his head kissing your forehead, telling you softly that he should go pick up Dodger and he wanted you to get some rest before work the next day. Only giving you a small smirk when you told him you slept better with him there.

“I’ll see you soon, sleep well sweetheart” Chris smiles pulling you closer “go catch some criminals for me” he mumbles against your lips.

You chuckle gently nodding your head as you kiss him once more “I promise, see you soon I love you” you smile.

Chris beams down at you pressing yet another chaste kiss to your lips “I love you too”

You watch as he steps back, opens the door and steps outside closing the door behind him. Almost immediately you walked over to your window, pulling back the curtains so you could watch him step out onto the street. You watched as he walked to his car across the street, pausing when he spotted you at the window. A smile grew on his face as he blew you a kiss before climbing into his car.

You watched him pull away out of view before closing the curtains and stepping back into your apartment. You had barely taken a few steps towards the couch when you heard your phone ringing. Reaching for it you hoped it was Chris but let out a small sigh of disappointment when you saw it was Ben.

“hey Benny, you alright?” you ask as you picked up.

“hey I’m nearby your neighbourhood and I think I left something at your apartment is it alright if I come round and grab it?” Ben asks.

“oh uh yeah sure, what is it and I’ll start looking,” you say glancing around your apartment trying to spot if there was anything out of place.

“Nah it's fine, I’m practically outside so I can look when I get there,” Ben tells you making your brows furrow in confusion.

“oh okay alright, I’ll um see you in a minute then,” you say before the call disconnects.

You had barely had time to put your phone back in your pocket when you heard your intercom buzzing, surely Ben couldn’t have gotten here so soon.

“Hello?” you ask when you pick up the receiver.

“hey it's me” Benny calls back making your eyebrows raise in surprise.

“oh wow, you weren’t joking when you said you were practically outside” you mutter.

You hear Ben chuckle back to you “yeah now hurry up it's cold out here” he laughs.

You quickly buzz him in and unlock your door so he could just walk straight in. your mind then started to race, if he was that close by could he have seen Chris leaving a few minutes ago? You trusted Ben, of course, you did, and you would tell him about you and Chris but you were still getting your own head around the past 24 hours.

“heya, did you have a good day off?” Ben asks as he opens the door and steps into your apartment.

“Hm? Oh yeah didn’t really get up to much, just lazed around mostly” you say scratching the back of your neck “so um what is it we’re looking for?”

“oh yeah, it's uh-“ Ben asks before frowning, sniffing a couple of times “what’s that smell?”

You furrow your brows in confusion “what smell?” you ask, not smelling anything unusual at all.

“It's this kind of musky, ashy smell? Did you burn something?” Ben asks walking towards your kitchen and peering inside.

“no I mean I had a candle going earlier but it was a lavender one” you explain pointing to the candle in question on the coffee table.

“no it's definitely not that,” Ben says turning back to face you, sniffing deeply a couple more times “its smells like fire…. Or should I say firefighter?” a shit-eating grin growing on his face.

You narrow your eyes at him “you little shit” you grumble crossing your arms over your chest.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, that little moment by the window where he blew you a kiss was cute” Ben laughs holding his hands up in surrender.

Your jaw drops “you were spying on us!” you gasp in shock.

“no, well yes… technically it was a stakeout” Ben points out.

“Benny!” You complain.

“I’m sorry, but I was worried okay? Your texts sounded odd so I decided to swing around to make sure you were okay, and then I spotted him here closing your curtains” Ben explains as he walks back towards you “and the last I heard you wanted to rip his throat out so I stuck around in case it went south, and I’m guessing by the look on your face it went a different kind of south” he smirks.

“benny, oh my god no!” you say hear flushing your cheeks “we didn’t, I mean we wanted but he’s still sore from his accident so we-“ you realised you were rambling and snapped your mouth shut.

Ben gave you another shit-eating smile as he moved to sit down on the couch “alright then, tell me everything, are you guys together?”

You let out a long sigh as you sat down next to him, a smile creeping on your face at the thought of Chris “yeah we are, we’re taking it slow and not really telling anyone except his family and our friends” you explain “I was going to tell you tomorrow at some point”

“so what changed?” Ben asks tilting his head slightly in question.

“he told me he lied in the hospital because he was scared and wanted to protect me from himself because he loved me,” you tell him letting out a small sigh.

Ben nods his head “questionable methods, but I understand, it’s a fear we all have working in this line of business” ben sighs “so how do you feel about it all?”

You purse your lips taking a moment to gather your thoughts and work out exactly what it was you were feeling “Happy… warm… scared” you sigh looking back over at Ben.

“what scares you?” Ben asks gently.

“how much I love him already… I’ve never felt like this with anyone before and it's scary and exciting and seems too good to be true, it’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop” you admit fiddling with your fingers in your lap “and that when it does it will hurt so much I don’t think I’ll survive it”

Ben nods reaching out to take your hand and squeezing it “that fear is there to tell you how real it is and what it means to you, so grab it by the balls and don’t let go” he says making your snort with laughter “and honestly I don’t think Chris is stupid enough to fuck it up again which means he’ll be there fighting with you if and when the shoe drops”

You give Ben a small smile “thank you, Benny”

Ben smiles back at you wrapping his arms around you to pull you into a tight hug “it's nothing, you know I’d do anything for you and I have to say” he says pulling away enough to look you in the eyes “I’ve never seen you so happy, you’re practically glowing”

A wide smile grew on your face as nodded because you couldn’t deny it, you had never felt so happy. It felt like your heart was bursting and it was only the first day. So like Ben said you were gonna grip it by the balls and never ever let go.  

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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[reallydumbdannyphantomaus]

Switch

danny and jazz are such siblings. even when under a secret identity, danny cannot stop being an annoying younger brother. also, spectra! (ao3) (masterpost)

Part 3 Chapter 2

Something was wrong with Kwan.

If asked, Danny couldn’t exactly say what had concerned him in a way that made sense to most people. Kwan didn’t seem angry or sad. He wasn’t yelling all the time or too depressed to get out of bed. If anything, he seemed almost aggressively happy. Like the moment Danny started to worry that he was upset, he smiled bright and made a joke.

Maybe that was what did it. No one was actually that happy all the time. But all of a sudden, Kwan stopped complaining. He never sat down at the lunch table with a groan and launched into whatever stupid thing Paulina had done in Algebra. He never whined when he died in Doomed. He never put his feet in Danny’s lap and switched the channel from National Geographic to whatever sports game was playing. He didn’t make fun of Danny at all.

When exactly it started, Danny wasn’t sure. But he’d first noticed about a week prior, when he, on reflex, sneezed into his hand instead of his elbow. Kwan had always hated it when he did that. “That’s nasty, dude. Go wash your fucking hands,” he’d said every other time. One of the things about being a doctor’s kid was that he was particular about sanitization.

This time, though, Danny was already off the couch before he noticed that Kwan hadn’t said anything. Instead, he was staring at the pillow in his lap, mouth twitching in a grimace. Kwan, noticing his stare, turned and smiled up at him.

“Are you good, dude?” Kwan said. He was so fucking earnest, too. Like a goddamn puppy. Staring up at him with big ol’ eyes. So goddamn concerned because Danny stood up suddenly.

“Yeah. Yeah, no, I just…” Danny let the sentence trail off before sitting back down.

It didn’t hit him until he got home that night: Kwan hadn’t said anything about his sneeze.

So something was wrong, but what was he supposed to tell anyone? “Oh, he’s too happy”? “He didn’t make me wash my hands when I sneezed”? They’d call him a lunatic. Maybe he was. How could he know what was wrong if Kwan wasn’t going to say anything?

He could talk to Dr. Huang, but that felt too close to snitching. He didn’t even know for sure that something was wrong beyond just a feeling. This whole thing just felt… nuts.

Well, if he was crazy, maybe he needed to go to an expert.

—

“Any reason you insisted we meet in the mall and not at home?” Jazz said, slurping on an Orange Julius.

“Because Mom and Dad are somehow simultaneously the least involved and the nosiest parents in the world?”

“Fair enough.” Jazz took another slurp. “So what’s going on?”

Danny pinched his nose. “Okay, look, I’m going to tell you all this in confidence and if you ever tell one single other person about this I will never tell you anything ever again for as long as I live, okay?”

“Are you… okay? Like are you in danger? Because even if you hate me, I’m not going to let you—”

“No! Jesus,” Danny said, pointedly ignoring the fading bruises under his shirt. The hunter ghost—Skulker—had come after him again, but at least this time he’d managed to get the asshole in the thermos. Kwan had looked sick when he saw the mark, though Danny wasn’t sure why. Kwan had seen him worse before and had never come close to vomiting. “It’s just personal, is all, okay? And I don’t want to hear anything about it from Mom or Dad or Lancer or—or anyone!”

“Okay, okay.” Jazz held her hands up in surrender. “Are you finally going to tell me what happened between you, Sam, and Tucker?”

“Nothing happened, we just… don’t hang out anymore.”

“Uh huh.”

“I mean it!”

“Danny, the three of you have been best friends since fifth grade. You didn’t gradually grow apart; you suddenly fell apart. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but I’m not an idiot.”

Danny crossed his arms and slumped in his chair. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jazz took another sip of her drink. “Okay, okay. Then what did you want to talk about?”

“Kwan.”

“Ah. The new friend.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t talk about him much.”

It was true enough; Danny figured that talking about Kwan would only draw attention to the fact that Sam and Tucker weren’t around anymore. Of course, Jazz had noticed anyway.

“Well, he’s just—weird lately.”

“Weird how?”

“Gah, I don’t know! It sounds dumb if I say it out loud.” Danny slumped even further in his seat.

“Dumb or not, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything.”

“It’s—he’s too nice!”

Jazz tilted her head in confusion. “And that’s a problem?”

“No! I mean, yes!” Danny groaned. “Look, he wasn’t being mean to me before, you know? But… he teased me sometimes. We teased each other. But now it’s like he can’t be anything other than perfectly nice all the time, even when we’re just messing around. Like, the other day I sneezed into my hand—”

Jazz wrinkled her nose. “Gross, Danny.”

“That’s what he always said! He always told me to wash my hands and that it was disgusting and stuff. Now he just sits there awkwardly even though I know he noticed.”

Jazz hmmed. “It does sound a little strange, but not overly worrisome. Can you think of anything that happened recently that might have impacted him?”

Danny thought back for a moment. “Well, he was friends with the kid that died.”

“You see? It could very well be a response to the grief he was feeling, then. Something that just needs to run its course.”

Danny shook his head. “But he wasn’t acting like this at first. It only started after—” The words died in his throat.

“After what?”

“The shrink.” Jazz gave him a look. “Sorry. Grief counselor. He started seeing her around when this whole thing started.”

“Danny, Dr. Spectra is a highly trained specialist. She’s trying to help Kwan. Correlation is not necessarily causation.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means that just because two things happened at the same time, it doesn’t mean they’re linked. He could just have other things on his mind.”

Danny groaned. “Ugh, I know it sounds silly and—and small! But he’s not acting like himself. Maybe it has nothing to do with the—with Dr. Spectra, but something’s wrong, Jazz. I know it.”

Kwan didn’t seem sad, it was true, but—shouldn’t he? His friend just died! He should be upset. Conflicted. Instead, it seemed like Kwan was going out of his way to seem entirely unaffected. It couldn’t be normal.

Jazz slurped the dregs of her Orange Julius. “Are you sure you aren’t just looking for problems to avoid thinking about something else?”

“Am I—what?”

“Are you sure this isn’t about whatever happened with Sam and Tucker?”

Heat flushed his face. “Yes, I’m sure. And I told you I didn’t—”

“I’m just worried—”

“—want to talk about it! I know exactly what happened! I don’t need you to therapize me about it!”

Jazz shrank in her seat. “I’m only trying—”

“I don’t care! Why don’t you listen to me for once?”

“I am listening—”

“It sure doesn’t feel like you are.” Danny jolted out of his chair, knocking it over. Heads snapped over to their table, and his face reddened further with embarrassment. He picked the chair up and jammed it back under the table. “Whatever. I’m done with this.”

“Danny, wait!”

He ignored her and stalked away.

—

Danny wandered Amity Park in a fugue of fury for twenty minutes before he calmed down enough to start making a plan. The conversation with Jazz, frustrating though it was, had also brought him to his first lead: the shrink.

Okay, so it wasn’t much of a lead. Correlation, causation, blah blah blah. But even if it wasn’t actually her, this Spectra lady might have some idea of what was bothering Kwan, right?

As the thought crossed his mind, Danny shook his head. No. No. That was the sort of shit that had pissed him off about Sam and Tucker. Invasion of privacy and shit. He could not turn around and be the world’s biggest hypocrite about it now.

Maybe he could just… look her up. Spectra didn’t sound like a common name; maybe he could find something on the internet. A school she used to work for, or something. If she was legit, she should have credentials online, yeah? A thread to pull at. Something.

Tapping in “Spectra” to the search bar led him to a brand of breast pumps. Damn it. Looked like he’d need a first name at the very least.

He could ask Jazz, but she was kind of the last person he wanted to talk about this with. He could ask Kwan, but he was definitely the last person he wanted to talk about it with. He could go by her office on Monday?

That would be reasonable, he supposed. Just wait.

It was Saturday, so the school was closed. He was supposed to head over to Kwan’s in an hour, but he hadn’t planned on leaving the conversation with Jazz so abruptly, so now he was stuck wandering around the city until it was time to go over there. He could go home, but Jazz would just corner him again. He could show up early, he supposed, but since Kwan was the one he was so worried about…

Danny put his phone away and started back down the street. Mindless wandering it was. He walked for another five minutes before he stopped and faced a brick wall.

“I hate waiting,” he said, resting his head against the wall.

Well, he had ghost powers. He had an hour to kill. He could just… sneak into the shrink’s office. Take a peak at her name and maybe see if she had anything incriminating lying around. Like cult robes or human bones or something.

The thought had barely formed in his mind before he was slipping into an alleyway and transforming into his ghost form—into Phantom. 

(He’d started referring to his ghost self as Phantom out loud, even. Kwan didn’t even tease him for it.)

He flew toward school, flickering on his invisibility. One of those things he’d been practicing with Dr. Huang: using two powers simultaneously. No more falling unconscious from exhaustion. Dr. Huang insisted that if she was going to let him fight ghosts, even provisionally, then she was going to do her best to make sure that he was as prepared as possible. If he wasn’t hanging out with Kwan, then he was training with her.

(You aren’t gonna die, she said, not on my watch. Not if I have anything to do with it.)

(Danny whined and complained, but there was a little warmth in his chest at how blatantly she cared.)

And he could see the payoff now, flying while invisible like it was second nature. He had enough brain space leftover to obsess over what was wrong with Kwan and that terrible conversation with Jazz, even.

He practiced holding intangibility, too. If he didn’t have the brain space to obsess anymore, that was an unrelated consequence.

It can be forgiven, then, that since he was putting so much effort into not thinking, he didn’t notice that, when he flew into Spectra’s office, someone else was already there.

He flicked off his invisibility and intangibility all at once, hovering over Spectra’s desk, and someone screamed.

“Ahh!” he screamed back. The bright light of a phone flashlight blinded him, and he pawed at the light switch with his eyes squeezed shut.

“Who—Who’s there?” a thin, familiar voice demanded.

Danny blinked away the spots in his vision to see fucking Jazz, trembling but trying to pretend she wasn’t, one hand on her hip. Which, seriously? He’d tried so fucking hard to avoid Jazz and her big sister disapproval, and where did he find her but breaking into school. If he wasn’t currently a ghost and also breaking into school, he would so be lording this over her head for forever.

“Uh, Phan—Phantom.” He tried to make his voice deeper, but it cracked in the middle of the word. Fucking puberty.

“Who’s Phan—are you glowing?”

“Um. Yeah.”

“Are you floating?”

“Yeah?”

“No.” Jazz shook her head, stepping back. “No, no no no, this can’t be real!”

“Look, I know it’s weird, but can you please freak out more quietly?” Danny flicked his head back and forth, like someone would spring out of the darkness. It was stupid; who else would be here, anyway? But he’d already had one big surprise and he wasn’t looking for another one.

“You’re a ghost?”

“...Yeah.”

Whatever reaction he was expecting her to have (fear? anger?), it wasn’t for her to kick the wall and shout, “God dammit!”

“Are you okay?”

“No! If my parents find out that they’ve been right about ghosts this whole time and I’ve been wrong, they are going to be so insufferable. My brother, too.”

Danny couldn’t help it. He pointed and laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, yuck it up,” she said, because she was exactly the kind of teenager to say “yuck it up” without a hint of irony. “Can we, like, agree to call you a ghoul or something? Literally anything other than a ghost?”

“Absolutely not,” he said. Just because she didn’t know he was her kid brother didn’t make him any less her kid brother.

“Ugh, fine. You’re not gonna, like, kill me or anything, though?”

“Nah, you’re good.”

“Well, at least my parents were wrong about one thing.”

Danny felt a blush rise up to his cheeks and he turned away from Jazz. She was really willing to trust him despite him being a ghost that she just met. He’d never tell her, but it was nice.

“Yeah, I’m just here to—wait, why are you here?” She’d been so dismissive of the idea that the shrink could be involved, but now here she was not even an hour later, breaking and entering at the school when she’d always been the most obnoxiously well-behaved person he’d ever met. It made no sense. Was Jazz secretly a rule-breaking badass this whole time?

No. No way.

“None of your business!” Jazz reared back and crossed her arms. “Why are you here?”

If that’s how she wanted to play it… Danny stuck his tongue out at her. “None of your business.”

“Jeez, I meet an actual ghost, and he’s a freaking child.”

“You started it.”

Jazz groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Fine. I’ll tell you why I’m here if you tell me why you’re here, okay?”

“Okay,” Danny lied.

“Look, I've been… shadowing Dr. Spectra for a couple weeks now and—something's off about her. She keeps being confused when I mention stuff about psychology that she should know. She hides it well, but she always changes the subject when I bring up any specific theory or practice.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. This was a very different story than “she's a highly trained specialist.”

“So she sucks at her job?”

“Well, that's what I thought at first. Like, definitely bad, don't get me wrong, but not… intentional.”

A hand reached into his chest and squeezed. “But now?”

“My little brother. He's worried about his friend, and I—well, he came to me and said his friend started acting weird when he started talking to Dr. Spectra, and I thought it had to be a coincidence, because she’s not a great therapist but that doesn’t make her evil, and I didn’t want to badmouth her to my kid brother, so I didn’t say anything to him, but then I was curious so”—she took a deep breath and unlocked her phone—“I googled her name, and, well, there was only one result that seemed to be about her.”

It was a blog, homemade, with a glittery pink header that read “Justice for Sarah” in curling font over a blue background. The most recent post read:

The IDIOTS at WXKZ still refuse to print the truth about Sarah’s murder even though we showed them her diary. So I just have to keep posting about it here, I guess. My daughter was depressed, yes, but she was getting better! She was seeking help! She even went to her school’s guidance counselor all on her own. And this ““““““Doctor��”””””” Penelope Spectra started telling her lies and making her worse all over again.

Sarah wrote about it in her therapy diary. “Dr. Spectra says I need to not worry my parents so much” “I have to make sure I’m not a problem anymore” She was NEVER a problem! She was my baby! And I don’t care that she swallowed the pills on her own, this Spectra lady is the one that killed her!!!!!

But the cops won’t listen, and the journalists won’t listen, so I just have to keep her story alive here. Please, help me get justice for my daughter. She was 15. She liked drawing bunny ears on all our pictures of her. Don’t let Spectra kill someone else.

Danny could imagine, for a moment, a woman sitting at her desk, furiously typing this post, scrubbing tears from her eyes. There was no filter. No clever designs to enhance empathy, to draw his attention to just the right places. No well-crafted language to make him just the right combination of angry and sad. Whoever made this blog clearly had no experience with this sort of thing. It was honest, in a way that very little on the internet was anymore.

“Oh,” he said. “Oh shit.”

Was this real? Was this the same Spectra? Was she saying this garbage to Kwan?

(If Jazz was right, then he almost felt bad for Spectra, because Dr. Huang would definitely, definitely kill her.)

(He thought about the tightness of Kwan’s face when he insisted that he had nothing to be sad about, really, don’t worry about him, and he didn’t feel bad anymore.)

“Yeah,” Jazz said. “And, I don’t know, it could be a lie. I found an obituary for Sarah, but it doesn’t mention cause of death or anything. It could just be a grieving parent, looking for someone to blame.”

Danny coughed. Act normal. Act normal. This didn’t affect him personally. “Or it could be something worse?”

“Pretty much. I just can’t figure out why. What would someone get from intentionally being a bad therapist? What possible motive could there be?”

There was a pounding in his skull and his chest. It felt hot, but he couldn’t stop to focus on it. He was pretty sure he knew what it was, ultimately, and it would only make Jazz suspicious of him if he let it out now. “Maybe some sort of cult thing?”

Was he speaking words? Were words coming out of his mouth?

Jazz shook her head. “That seems like something that would involve more people, y’know?”

“I’m all out of guesses, then.”

She rolled her eyes and moved to the desk, tugging at one of the drawers. Danny pushed down the fire in his head, the red swamping his vision and floated forward to help.

They made quick work of the desk, skipping through a bunch of innocuous files, some fidget spinners, blank notebooks and planners. For someone who had been in town for weeks now, Spectra really didn’t have much personal stuff in her office. Danny wasn’t sure if that was suspicious, or if he was inclined to see everything as suspicious right now.

“So, why are you here?” Jazz said as they moved on to the filing cabinet. It was locked, but a simple tug with an intangible hand pulled it right open. “You never did say.”

Danny winced. “Uh. Same thing.”

“Oh, your little brother also made you suspicious that the therapist you’ve been shadowing might not just be bad at her job, but actively evil?”

“Something like that?”

“Hey! The deal was: I tell you my story, you tell me yours!”

Danny opened his mouth to say something smart that would deflect all suspicion, but he was cut off by the sound of the office door handle turning. Before either of them could panic, he grabbed Jazz’s shoulder and turned them both invisible.

The door opened and in stepped Spectra’s odd little assistant, the short man with the green eyes. 

“Now,” he said, voice soft, “I know we didn’t leave those lights on when we left yesterday. Is someone in here?”

The little man swerved around to look under the desk, stopping right in front of Danny and Jazz. Jazz let out a little whimper before Danny got his hand over her mouth and the man’s eyes whipped up.

“Ah,” he said, “so there’s a little ghostie in here. Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m not here to muscle in on your turf. Why don’t you come out so we can talk? Face to face?”

Danny said nothing, clenching his hand harder around Jazz’s mouth. He felt something wet soak into his palm, but he couldn’t tell if it was Jazz’s sweat or tears. 

“Oh, come now. We can work together! Look,” and there was a bright flash of light and instead of the man, there was now a green blob ghost. “See! I’m one of you. More or less.”

Jazz got impossibly tenser against him.

Yeah, Danny was now willing to say that Spectra was probably evil.

“There’s no need for any… hostility between us. We won’t get in your way if you don’t get in ours.”

There was cement in his mouth, binding his jaws together. There was lava in his chest, burning holes in his heart. He couldn’t afford to be either afraid or angry right now, though. Not with Jazz right there, so very scared that he could feel her heart beating through her shirt.

“What is in your way?” he said at long last. His voice sounded like gravel, but it should help to disguise him.

“Oh, very little. We’ve got our own set up here in the school. Honestly, we’d be glad to have you around. More ghosts means more misery for us.”

“Misery?”

“Yes, well, you see, this is what I meant when I said more or less. My boss and I—we need to feed on human emotion. Misery really does the job for us, and what better place than a high that’s beset by ghosts?”

Danny said nothing, horror wiring his mouth shut.

“So you see, we have absolutely no reason to interfere with whatever your plans are for this town, and we pose absolutely no threat. Honestly, we should be friends.”

Jazz trembled in his hold. That was enough information gathering, then.

“Uh, okay, then,” he said. “Bye.”

Maybe not what a cool, mysterious ghost would’ve said, but he was too strung out, too terrified, too furious to care. He tightened his hold on Jazz, turned them both intangible, and flew them out of the school and into the night.

[minhosimthings]

Hold Me Without Hurting Me

Chapter 2: Germanium and Gin

A/N: In which an old friend fills your life with flowers again, along a bumpy sided road.

Pairings: Ceo!Jay × Ceo!fem!reader, includes rest of Enhypen and certain other groups

Warnings: angst-fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to enemies to fake dating to enemies to lovers, Mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, nothing much but it's a bumpy story.

Story prompt: If I had a flower for every time I fell in love with you, I would walk in my garden forever. (This story is based on the language of flowers.)

A/N: second part y'all there ya go have her all to yourself. Im feeling kinda DEMOTIVATED by I still wrote it cause hot girl thangs. (It's actually depressed girl things but whatever) I'm currently writing both the third chapter and fourth chapter and once I finish both of them I'll post the third one. Cool bye love y'all.

SERIES MASTERLIST

"Hey Y/N." You had never expected the evening to go like this. Most of the times whenever you attended things like these, your words would be completely ignored and undermined by your fellow heads of companies, because apparently a woman has no right to power. But this time, they actually listened, hanging on to each word you said, like a child handing onto her teddy bear. And now here you were, alone in the meeting room, with Jay sitting opposite you. Everyone else had gone already and you had told Jungwon to go and sort out the paperwork with Heeseung, whom you had successfully joined businesses with.

"Mr Park there must be a reason as to why you asked me to stay back so please spit it out." Jay looked at you with a sad smile. His mind was swirling around and he couldn't wrap it around his brain that his best friend was currently sitting in front of him.

"Y/N, stop calling me that." He said, to which you scoffed. "Why? Isn't that your name." He glared at you and you glared back. If he was going to act like he hadn't left your heart broken, then so be it. "Y/N why are you acting like this?" You rolled your eyes and got up from your seat, swiftly moving towards the vases stuck to the walls. You plucked out some of the flowers, arranged them and threw them into Jay's lap. Germanium, Hydrangeas and Yellow Carnations. "Figure it out Jay. Just fucking figure it out." You left the room, leaving Jay speechless and slightly heartbroken.

"Ma'am? You really shouldn't drink that much." You were sitting in the bar along with Jungwon, who seemed very concerned. "Jungwon, what's the meaning of life?" You asked him, to which he silently took your glass away from you. "Ma'am we really shoul-" "WHAT IS LOVE?" you shouted out, startling the few people at the bar. Jungwon sighed heavily and hid his face behind his hands. "Is she ok?" A man crept up behind Jungwon. "I honestly don't know- Mr Park!" Jay was standing behind Jungwon, hands in his pocket and a bouquet in his hand. He looked over at you, slumping your head over the bar table and smiled. "I assume you are her assistant? Well would you allow me to take her up to her room? Suite 186 I believe?" Jungwon stood shocked with his mouth open and could do nothing but nod at Jay, who had already went over to you, putting his hand over your shoulder. "Y/N? My yarrow? Come on we have to go now. You're too drunk." "Jay?" You gasped and clapped your hands, "JAY! I MISSED YOU WHEN DID YOU COME HERE?"Jay chuckled at your behaviour and grabbed you by the waist. "Come on my yarrow. Let's go. Jungwon wasn't it?' he turned to a blushing Jungwon, "Could you come up later and give her this bouquet in the morning? Oh and give her basil water when she wakes up. It usually gets her out of her hangovers." Jungwon stuttered a yes and took the bouquet, turning back to the bar while Jay gently guided you to the elevator.

"Y/N? Hey. Hey woah!" Jay caught you before you fell to your knees. "Jay-" you whispered, letting the alcohol get to your system. "Yeah I'm here. I'm here." Jay whispered back, gently lifting you up and letting you support yourself on his shoulder.

Jay's heartbeat increased at an alarming rate as he gently put you on your bed. You looked so pretty, he thought, more prettier than you looked when he had left and as he brushed your hair out of your face, he felt a pang of regret hitting him. Of course you would give germanium and yellow carnations. You hated him with every cell of your body and you wanted him to know that. "Don't remember any of this in the morning alright my yarrow?" Jay gently kissed your forehead and left, gently closing the door behind you, leaving you in troubled sleep.

"Jungwon what the fuck." You breathed out. You were sitting in the living room with Jungwon whose eyes were on the verge of tears. "Ma'am he told me to give these to you. Mr Park." "Oh my fucking god." You slumped onto the sofa. This was definetly not how you were expecting your Friday morning to go. In your mind, you would have been cheerfully sipping a margarita along with Jungwon, and going to cat cafes. But the universe never really bent to your will, so here you were with a baby blue bouquet of pink carnations and forget-me-nots wrapped in a silk bow.

"Jungwon do we have another meeting tonight?" You put your hand up to your head, running your fingers through your hair, and untangling all the knots made in it, due to you sleeping with unmade hair last night. Jungwon checked his phone, quickly tapping his fingers against the glass. "Uh no ma'am. But-" he looked up at you sympathetically, "Mr Park has requested a meeting with you. Privately." You groaned as you picked up the coffee cup in front of you and sipped it. Well atleast something was bringing you comfort right now. "Oh and Ma'am, he has another request." Jungwon said, his face filled with worry. "Just spit it out Jungwon, I'm already dead." "He wants you to bring him flowers."

You adjusted the collar of your coat as you made your way up to the bar. You had met Sunoo and Sunghoon on the way, who seemed to have been catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. They gave you sympathetic smiles as you told them what had happened and advised you to just get it over with. But as you stood in the elevator, with a bouquet in your hand, you had the feeling in your stomach that this was definetly not going to get over quickly.

You stepped out the elevator and entered the bear to find hundreds of men and women sitting and drinking merrily. The smell of whiskey and lime juice hit your nose as your eyes searched for Jay. You spotted him sitting near the bartender in what seemed to be the center of the bar. He was wearing a blue polo shirt with white pants which tightly fit his legs. You bit your lip, to remind yourself that you are supposed to be angry at him.

"Jay." You swiftly sat down beside him. He raised his eyes from his glass to look at you and smiled gently. "You actually came?" He chuckled and called for the bartender. "Yes I did because I assumed you wanted to talk buisness." You stated, "I'll have a Gin and Tonic please, no ice with a bowl of cherries on the side." You said to the bartender, who quickly disappeared to get your drink. "You've changed you know that?" Jay's eyes averted to you again, as he sipped his drink. Whiskey, you assumed, judging from the strong scent coming from the crystal glass. "Well was I not supposed to?", you scoffed, "Was I supposed to remain the same girl that I had been seventeen years ago?"

Jay's eyes faltered for a moment, before he cleared his throat and looked at you firmly again. "I want you to collaborate with my company." You choked on the cherry you were eating as you heard his words. Jay patted your back a few times and as you stopped coughing, you turned your face up to see him smirking. "Do I fluster you that bad, my yarrow?" "Don't you fucking call me that." You slammed your hand on the bar, catching the attention of some of the people around you, "Give me one reason as to why I should collaborate with you." Jay smirked again and took a sip of his whiskey, calling for another glass, this time, on the rocks. "Because my yarrow-" he leaned forward, "You're collaborating with Heeseung anyways. And his company is sponsored by mine. So why not just directly do buisness with me?" He took one of your cherries and ate it, showing off his jawline in the process, "It's much more efficient Y/N."

You gritted your teeth in order not to get angry. But before you could bite back-

"Is this man bothering you pretty?" You felt someone's hand touch your back. Naturally you flinched at the touch and looked back to see one of the pig headed men at the meeting. An ugly personality, you thought, both inside and out. He was definitely not less than forty eight. "Um- no. We are just-discussing." You told the man, turning back to Jay, who looked like he couldn't care less about what was happening. "Why darling?" The pig man chuckled and lowered his hand down to your waist, "Tell me if he's bothering you. I can get you out of here. Got a lot of dough you know?" "Thank you, but I am ok." You stated, trying to keep your demeanor calm, "Could you please not touch me?" The man obnoxiously laughed again and only lowered his hand further, making you shout 'Hey!'. "Oh come one don't play hard to get. You little whor-" He didn't get the opportunity to finish his sentence however, as Jay got up from his seat abruptly and held the man by his collar, holding him against the bar. All the attention of the room was on you now.

"Perhaps I should phrase it better for you." Jay growled, gritting his teeth tightly, "You. Won't. Lay. A. Fucking. Finger. On. Her." He let go of the pig man, who fumbled with his words for a bit, before quickly scantering off towards the exit stairs. Jay turned to you after everyone stopped looking at both of you, and instead of seeing a thankful face like the one he was expecting, he saw one of anger.

"I could have handled that myself Jay. Why the fuck did you have to cause a scene?" Jay raised his eyebrows at your words. "Not even a fucking thank you for that? Wow you really did change." You scoffed at the words coming out of his mouth. You picked up the bouquet you bought and threw it at him. "There you go." Your words were laced with sweet venom, "Take the fucking bouquet you asked for. And don't you talk to me again, except for in the meetings got it?" You finished your glass of cold gin quickly, and went away, biting your tongue as you got into the elevator. Columbine, daisy, hydrangea and orange lily, Jay counted as he looked at the bouquet properly. A rather ugly combination, he thought, not in physicality but in the meaning. He looked down at his whiskey, and swirled it, gulping it down in one swift motion before heading out the bar, a plan formed in his mind.

[domesticatedanimal]

FFXIVWrite 2024

Prompt 30: Two Heads are Better Than One

Set vaguely between Heavensward and Stormblood

Back from the Abyss

Small drifts of snow were starting to gather around the corpse as a gentle wind breezed along the streets of the Brume. The body was still warm enough that the snow would melt against it, dampening the thick wool of the knight’s gloves. Soon, the bitter cold would overtake the last of the body’s heat, setting into the chainmail and locking the whole thing up into a grim frosty statue.

Sif sat across from it, her back pressed against dark stone, her breathing calm but shallow.

Footsteps approached.

“You had better have a damned good reason for dragging me out to this frigid hell,” Thancred greeted her. His eyes followed her gaze, to the dead temple knight currently freezing over in a crevice between two stacks of wooden crates. “Well, I daresay that counts.”

Thancred quickly assessed the scene, taking note of the wide gashes in the temple knight’s cuirass, and Sif’s conspicuous lack of weaponry. They were far from the trafficked areas of the Brume, but in this maze of alleys and hovels, there was no telling when some urchin would pop around an inconvenient corner. He was truthfully surprised that it had not already happened.

“I wasn’t sure who else I could trust with this,” Sif spoke, her voice an exhausted whisper. She held something out for Thancred to take.

“What is this? An insignia?”

“A badge, I think. He was high ranking. A commander or some equivalent,” she replied.

Thancred exhaled sharply. His jovial attitude dropped. He fell to his haunches, squatting loosely by her side.

“I’m not sure we can just make this one go away,” he murmured. “What offense was worth this? Did you think about what this would mean for the rest of us? If the Scions are…”

“Six times,” she interrupted.

“What?”

“He’s been tried six times. He’s been cleared and returned to duty six times. And every time, another two or three girls end up dead by his hand.”

“I… see.”

“I’m tired of waiting, Thancred.” When she turned to him, there was a burning darkness in her eyes that even he could see. “Tired of powerful men doing harm while the knights spend their time chasing down starving children to lock up for theft.”

“Can you not go to the Lord Commander? I had thought you were close.”

“It’s not enough. I’ve seen how the knights are treated in their own dungeons. I had to end it. Are you going to help us with the body, or not?”

“Us?”

Sif seemed to glance over her shoulder, to nothing in particular.

“I think you should stay out of Ishgard, for a while,” Thancred offered. “This is starting to get out of hand.”

Sif opened her mouth to protest, but didn’t. She slumped a bit, and nodded.

“Yeah. You may be right.”

“I ran into an unusual gentleman, in Ul’dah. A Miqote whose name I cannot quite recall. He spoke to me about joining a group of some sort. Crimson Duelists, I believe? Truth, justice, helping the downtrodden. Very much your sort of thing.” He smiled. “Maybe you can do some good in a less depressing town.”

She nodded again. “I’ll look into it.”

“Right. Well, then. That just leaves the unpleasant bit. Do you want the legs, or the shoulders?”

“Legs.”

“I should have guessed.”

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

You Just Put the Dick in Your Mouth - Part 3.2

Yang Jeongin

Word Count: 712

Contents: innie crying, innie’s self deprecating thoughts, some of innie’s thoughts are starting to verge on depression - please proceed with caution

Notes: yeah its, uh, its getting a bit worse before it gets better haha oops

Previous | Next

It was funny.

Time could pass so quickly and yet so painfully slow. Somehow, each second dragged on with painful agony but those seconds built up so quickly you might miss it if you blinked.

Blink.

And Jeongin had spent half an hour slumped on the floor, sobbing as quietly as he could. The only thing to punctuate the moments soaked in anguish was a knock at the door. There was no voice, no words; just uneven breaths. Jeongin didn’t need any words to know who was on the other side. 

It only made him cry harder.

Blink.

And his room was even darker. Forty-five minutes had ticked by until he was shivering on the floor, tear stains leaving what felt like permanent tracks on his cheeks. Head pounding from a headache, the result of so much crying. Something in the back of his mind, the only part of himself he could count on to take care of him, reminded him that he should clean up sometime.

Blink.

Another fifty-two minutes before Jeongin managed to stand up with shaky legs. His head was spinning a little. He listened carefully at the door for anyone in the hallway. He knew if he saw him he’d collapse in on himself all over again. He couldn’t bear to see the look on his face, to know what he felt when he had finally processed Jeongin’s idiotic words. Words that ruined everything.

Silence laid heavy in the hallway and Jeongin cracked his door open. He gazed into the darkness and saw no one. A small sigh of relief passed his lips as he opened the door a little more. Before he could step out he noticed something on the floor. A glass of water, pain meds, and a folded piece of paper. 

He knelt down, taking them into his hand. He didn’t think about it, simply taking the meds and downing a few gulps of water to soothe his throat. With a sniff he opened the paper.

I know you get headaches when you cry, I thought this might help. Please come talk to me when you can, okay? - Seungmin

Jeongin slammed the door shut, strongly enough that it shook the wall as he dissolved into tears again.

Blink.

Was it an hour? Was it more? Maybe a little less? Who was counting, anyway? Jeongin’s head rested against the cool wood of the door as he tried to take even breaths. Small, torn up pieces of paper were scattered on the floor around his knees. 

Blink.

Jeongin’s legs trembled as he pushed his door open. He stumbled quietly into the hallway and then down the hall with his pyjamas in hand. He was quiet when he closed the bathroom door, hoping not to draw attention to himself. His body was sluggish as he cleaned up. Too exhausted to take a shower he stuck to wiping himself off with a washcloth. Maybe if he felt clean on the outside it would wash away everything on the inside. 

Maybe.

Dragging himself through cleaning up was a slow process but eventually his body was wrapped in warm pyjamas, his skin was clean, his teeth were brushed. Eventually he felt clean enough to be somewhere other than his bedroom floor. As quietly as he could he slipped back into his room.

Blink.

An hour had passed by now, surly. Maybe even two. Jeongin didn’t know anymore. His fingers curled into the duvet, face pressed into the pillow as tears started to wrack his body again. 

This time they were silent, but the silent sobs always hurt more.

He couldn’t stop the plague of thoughts that ran through his mind. How stupid he was. How pathetic he was. How he couldn’t even manage to control his own words. How his heart had been torn to pieces and it was entirely his fault. This whole thing was his fault. He’d managed to ruin his own life and his best friendship with three stupid little words.

His pillows soaked up each tear, no matter how many fell, and they seemed endless now. Maybe they would never stop. Maybe these seconds would stretch out into eternity, endless heart-wrenching pain in a night with no morning.

The tears only stopped as he fell into sleep.

[wandaluvstacos]

THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

“Sarah,” he began with a puffed up chest. But then he deflated slightly as he slumped and fell silent. “Uh.”

“Yeah?” Sarah took a long toke of her cigarette and watched him with expectant eyes.

“I am bisexual,” Johnny forced out much louder than it probably needed to be.

Sarah had no reaction to the news beyond a slow smile. “Damn, took you long enough.”

“You already knew?”

“I’ve always wondered since high school. You remember that senior Logan you were obsessed about? You were always talkin’ about fuckin’ Logan like he was your boyfriend, and at most you hung out like five times.”

“Logan?” Johnny paused to think. “Oh right, that guy.”

“I think he’s in jail now for armed robbery.” She shrugged. “Smoked too much meth.”

“Seriously?”

“You didn’t know?”

“I haven’t thought about him in a long time.”

Sarah snickered and kicked the leg of the nearby lawn chair with a foot. “Sit your ass down. I got some questions.”

Johnny collapsed into a chair like a puppet with cut strings. Victor also sat, trying to keep a smile at bay. Johnny coming out shouldn’t have brought him such joy, but it felt good for it to be out in the world beyond what existed between the two of them.

“How long have you known you’re bi?” Sarah asked.

“Since puberty, I guess.”

“And you ain’t ever tell me?”

“My daddy called me a faggot like once a week, so no.”

Sarah’s smile faded and her faced looked pinched with disgust as she sucked on her cigarette again. “I aint’ happy about how he died, but I’m glad he’s dead, no offense.”

Johnny said nothing, only stared at the fire with that blank expression that he tended to wear whenever he talked about his father.

“So what about after you left from home? What then? You do anythin’ with anybody?”

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 8

October - November 2023

Hello again!! Soon December will be upon us (or maybe it already is by the time I finish this lol. We'll see) and before you know it, 2023 will already be over. Sheesh. But we still have a few days of November and some big things in December to go through so let's take it one step at a time, okay?

Had an interesting time during October as I was finishing some RPGs and fell into a bit of a funk / gamer block after some junk. But thankfully I managed to pull myself out of it and I'm happily chipping away at my next RPG as we speak! I ended up playing a good amount of shorter stuff these past 2 months, so let's go ahead and talk about some of it!

Per the norm, these aren't reviews. Just my thoughts I'm slapping up here. You should play everything I talk about regardless of what I say and form your own opinion. Cool, let's begin!

Pikuniku (January 24, 2019) - Xbox One

As I said earlier, I fell into a bit of depressed slump for a little. And I decided that replaying Pikuniku would fix me. I played this back around the time covid started, so it had been a long while since I played it. And, yeah, it's still REALLY good! Cute visuals, one of my favorite OSTs ever probably, super charming script and story. It's such a good time honestly even if can be a little rough at points. If you haven't played this game before, I've played it twice now and it 100% gets my seal of approval.

Hatsune Miku Project DIVA F 2nd (March 27, 2014) - Playstation Vita

But... Pikuniku, despite how much I adore it. Didn't fix me. No, sadly, I was still in a bit of a slump and not sure what to play next after being drained of my gamer energy. Then I dug through my games to fetch a console for my sister, and happened to accidentally find out my other sister owned a Miku game on vita. I had no idea we had this! And I've been getting more into vocaloid lately. So what the heck? Why not play it?

I used to hate rhythm games but lately I like them a lot more and, yeah, I had a great time with this! Staying up late in bed playing it late at night was a ton of fun. I discovered a lot of new vocaloid songs I hadn't heard before (off the top of my head I really liked Melt and the spooky themed one but I'll have to relisten to them all to say which were favorites). The game is super cute, I think it looks great, I LOVE that there's a lot of costumes for each of the 6 characters, I liked all the music, and honestly yeah this game really made me feel a lot better.

Only things I can say against it is that easy is WAY too easy, not even asking you to use most buttons of the system. While normal was just WAY too brutal, I couldn't even beat Melt on Normal. Maybe I just suck though. Also I think it can be a little difficult to figure out how to equip costumes but it's not that big of a deal. I like the magician miku outfit a lot, fun game :)

Paratopic (September 6, 2018) - Nintendo Switch

Hey! Here's a game you probably would NOT expect me to play because I avoid horror like the plague lmao. But my brother bought this a long while back, and I saw it sitting there unplayed. And it's like, less than an hour long. So I figured, what the heck? And gave it a shot (shoutouts to my siblings owning random games I guess lol).

Paratopic is interesting because it's meant to be played in one go, with no saving at any point. There's not really any losing either, so it's kind of like an interactive movie. It's told out of order and is also not super in your face about the plot which could be a drawback but it's very clearly the intention so I think it does it very well. Graphics were nice, story is odd and interesting, it's a very unnerving game. I couldn't even relisten to the OST while writing this cause I was too scared (still listening to miku). But again there's no major scares as far as I recall? It's similar to Fatum Batula in art, odd themes, and the fact that it's probably a good horror game for people who hate horror. Not my thing but happy I played through it!

SLUDGE LIFE : The BIG MUD Sessions (August 2, 2023) - PC

DID YOU KNOW I'M A SLUDGE LIFE FAN!? DID YOU KNOW THAT? DID YOU KNOW I 100% COMPLETED THE FIRST GAME THE DAY I STARTED IT AND I OWN A CIGGY TSHIRT CAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!?

Well anyway, I do. And somehow I missed out on the fact that there was a Sludge Life 2 demo that was free to play and had its own plot! So, naturally, I had to sit down and play it! Not a lot to say because it is a small story, taking place only in one building rather than a big city. But I thought it was a great way to get back into the swing of things with Sludge Life, and I had a blast completing this bite sized story! I even completed the full Gato Mago demo present in the game lol. If you're not sure if you'd like the games, I might honestly recommend playing this to give it a shot since it's easy to complete but has everything present in the main 2 games.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster Course Pass (March 18, 2022) - Nintendo Switch

I talked about the end of the Booster Course Pass a little bit on twitter. But just in case you missed it, I wanted to talk about it here. It's finally done, and honestly I had a blast with it. While this DLC was kinda rough at first, being pricey for some admittedly low quality tracks (at least in terms of graphics) I really think by the end they pulled it together and made this a very worthwhile package with LOTS of new tracks and even new characters that they didn't have to do! I really appreciated it!

This final set of stages was nice, DK Mountain is a classic and it's great to have it back. Rosalina's Ice World was a pleasant surprise! Bowser's Castle 3 seemed like it was gonna be the most boring one but I LOVED it! And Rainbow Road Wii was such a nice send off! Great remake of a great track!

For new tracks, Piranha Plant Cove stood out to me the most. I adored it, as it was brand new to me since I don't play Tour (my younger sister does and she hates this track lmao). But I thought it was gorgeous, has a great aesthetic with the beach/jungle ruins at night, and has great music. It felt like something out of a JRPG which love, and the music particularly reminded me of Sea of Stars a bit!

New characters were great too! Overall while there's still some characters and tracks I wish returned (Wario Stadium, ROB, stuff like that) I do think overall this DLC made MK8DX such a complete package and was totally worth the price of entry I payed however long ago. They brought back some of my all time favorite MK stuff such as Choco Mountain and Petey Piranha.

And honestly, it's looking like MK8 might finally be done. We might actually be moving onto Mario Kart 9 soon which feels crazy to me. MK8 is finished, Tour is done getting new content. I really truly think the next MK thing we see will probably be 9. And I wanted that for YEARS! When they announced the booster pass it rubbed me the wrong was cause I just wanted 9 already. But now that it's here? I'm gonna miss 8 a LOT. It's my favorite one next to DS probably. And it's been the latest Mario Kart for SO long. I remember going to gamestop the day it launched on Wii U to pick it up in 2014 (THAT'S 9 YEARS AGO, BTW. 9 YEARS OF MK8). I've gone through major life changes during the course of MK8's existence. Graduation, learning to drive, moving out (multiple times), presenting in public for the first time. Mario Kart 8 has oddly been a consistent part of my life for a while now. And I'm honestly a little emotional to let it go.

However, I'm very excited to see what comes next from this series. I'm waiting with baited breath for 9, and I'm sure that regardless of what the next game is like, I'll probably love it. It's hard to say goodbye, but I do really love MK8 more the more I think about it and reflect on my time with it. Late night playing with my sister, playing online with friends, playing with randos, driving around the tracks slowly to see all the little details. Thanks for all the good times Mario Kart 8. I'll always be using tilt controls :')

Super Kiwi 64 (December 2, 2022) - PC

Wow that last one got a little emotional, huh? Let's move onto something I haven't spent a large formative part of my adulthood playing. Siactro is a small indie dev I have become fiercely loyal to, playing just about everything they put out since I first played the original Toree! So when I saw they were making a new 3D Collectathon, I was VERY excited!

And this game lived up! It's great! Some GORGEOUS worlds that look so breath taking with these N64 styled graphics. Some fantastic music to accompany you. It feels WONDERFUL to play, I genuinely am OBSESSED with Kiwi's moveset. Gliding, dashing, stabbing into walls to climb up them. It might make exploring a little easy but exploring is absolutely the focus more than platforming is. And I think these tools make that goal very easy and EXTREMELY fun. In fact, it's so good I'm actually sad it isn't longer. There's only 8 worlds and they're all 100% completed rather quickly. Which is fine, Siactro games tend to be short. But this one was just SO good, I wanted more! That's a positive though I promise!

My only real negatives are that the game doesn't explain the plot too well, you have to play Beeny to understand what's happening. Which is fine for me, but it's odd they did that. I also think it's odd that there's NO ENEMIES! I don't think I took a single hit of damage through the game. I think some cute (CUTE NOT HORRIFYING) enemies would really elevate the game and make it a little tougher. Likewise, I know there's only 5-6 main collectables in each world, but I do think some way to keep track of them would be huge. Even just a hint list so you know what you're looking for. Regardless, super fun game, another banger from Siactro and if you're looking for a shorter 3D collectathon, do give it a look!

He Fucked the Girl Out of Me (July 24, 2023) - PC

I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to discuss this in this format as this is a deeply personal game for the creator that tackles real life serious subjects about their past. However, it is still a game and it's a game that's VERY good and I think everyone should play!

He Fucked the Girl Out of Me is a visual novel about the creator's life as a transwoman, and their time as a sex worker. It's a very sad game but that's exactly how it should be and it does end well. But I think it's a really interesting game just by the nature of it being an autobiographical game. That's something I've been interested in for a while and this game does it very well. Really putting you into the head of the creator as they take you through the story.

The graphics are nice, looking like a gameboy title. The story is told very well and did honestly make me cry a bit (I'm particularly sensitive though I cry a lot aha). It's a short game but I would love to see more games that tell people's experiences like this, I think getting to play it can give you a look into their life that a book or movie just can't do the same way. I really loved the scenes where you could pick snacks and see her thoughts on them, and I thought the scene where you see what people message you in this line of work was very well done. There's isn't a ton to say about the gameplay side of things, but I think that's fine since again, it is autobiographical and it manages to tell that story very well through a more VN styled approach.

The game tackles topics about shame, and hiding your trauma due to fear of getting in trouble and the trauma that fear adds on top of the shame. It's a something I think a lot of people can relate to even if you don't go through something as traumatic as what the creator of the game went through. It's an important message and I'll absolutely be keeping an eye on this developer going forward. If you've got the time, give this game a shot.

SLUDGE LIFE 2 (June 27, 2023) - PC

And here we are, Sludge Life 2! As a huge fan of the first, I couldn't resist anymore. I'm a little late but I just HAD to play SL2!! This game picks up RIGHT where The Big Mud Sessions ends off. Big Mud has gone missing after recording, and it's up to Ghost to track him down! All while tagging, making some new friends, and taking pictures of stupid stuff along the way.

It's very similar to the first, but now with the added Ciggy City attached the main town from the first game so there's a LOT more to explore now! Just like the first one it's a ton of fun to run around and platform about while tagging stuff and making friends with random taggers. A lot of them are new this time but there's some familiar faces too. It's still a blast, there's still lots to do, I like that the plot covers some more serious topics, it's very funny, it has great music, I love the graphics. Overall it's a blast! There's a fully uncensored penis in it which is awesome! This is random but I think more games should be allowed to have full uncensored nudity without getting an AO rating.

However, I personally didn't prefer it over SL1 or the Big Mud Sessions. It is fun. But like, I think it wasn't as fun. And it felt like they were leading up to something a little cooler than how it plays out. The death mold felt like it should have been a big thing leading to a big finale. But it's just the bad ending and it's quick and not addressed much, which is how the bomb worked in the first game. But the bomb wasn't teased and didn't feel like it may have been a big deal if that makes sense? I thought Ciggy City could be a little annoying to navigate at times, I don't like Gato Mago as much as the game in the first, I feel like they didn't improve some issues such as it being REALLY hard to find tag spots when you're near 100, I couldn't figure out how to spit in that guy's food! It is still good and I had a great time playing through it, but it just didn't feel as amazing as I was hoping a sequel would feel.

Regardless, I still recommend this series, and I hope we get a Sludge Life 3 that can maybe make good on some of its plot teasing? I am interested to see how the Death Mold will tie into a potential 3rd game as well seeing more uprising against the corruption in the world and the clops. I also would like to see a boss fight, because I really thought the health bar in the trailer meant there was gonna be a boss fight. Doesn't need combat or anything, I think the moveset present in these games could already make for an interesting boss.

Hello My Name is (Val)iant Or Val's Guide To Having A Broken Vag (June 1, 2023) - PC

Another short visual novel about sex and body stuff! This was also a game I randomly discovered a few weeks ago and had a great time playing through it! This game is more lighthearted than He Fucked the Girl Out of Me, but is still a great time and still has important things to say. You play as Val, a transman who has lived with extreme vaginal pain their whole life. And you see the struggles that comes from doctor negligence and trying to find love with that problem.

This one has some more gameplay like scenes, mainly 2 minigames you play twice. But the way they're handled is VERY interesting! I won't spoil it but there's a Tetris minigame used for talking to doctors, and a Rhythm minigame used for having sex. And the way it contrasts the feelings between 2 different experiences in both situations using these minigames is REALLY well done.

It's not autobiographical I don't think, but is more autobiographical in the sense that it capture's the dev team's past issues with doctors ignoring you, medical racism, and the lack of help and care for people with vagina's comfort in sex and just in their bodies in general. I'm not kidding when I tell you this game taught me more about vaginas than my entire life of sex ed in school. Drop out and play video games, kids. You'll learn more.

Great graphics, great music. I know I shouldn't compare it to HFTGOOM so much but I liked both of these a lot! I would love to see more games about real topics that affect real people in the future, and especially ones that maybe tackle more genres than just Visual Novel (though I understand it is the best medium for this)

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I (January 19, 2012) - PC

It's time... to talk about Sonic 4... I want to preface this by saying I LOVE SONIC, and I genuinely feel kinda bad whenever I trash on something Sonic related because the series gets so much undeserved hate. And I know I recently had some negative opinions on the Final Horizons DLC but oh my god... Sonic 4 made me appreciate that so much more. Guys, this game sucks. I'm not joking when I say this is probably the worst Sonic game I've ever played.

This game feels so absolutely soulless in a way no other Sonic game can even come close to imitating. It's trying so hard to be like a Classic Sonic game by copying its level themes, concepts, and music style. But it copies absolutely none of the charm in any way. The music just isn't very good (kind of a sin for a Sonic game?). The graphics are REALLY bad imo. It's trying to make all the 3D models look like 2D sprites but it fails MISERABLY. The effect only works on the final boss. I really can't explain it, you'll just have to see the final boss for yourself, it's clearly trying to look like a 2D sprite. The game plays like GARBAGE! Sonic is so slow, takes forever to reach any meaningful speed, and the homing attack doesn't work 99% of the time. It's truly baffling to me.

Speaking of the final boss, that sucks too. The bosses in this game are all rehashes of earlier bosses, but less fun! Big surprise! This game ends with the Death Egg Robot again but unlike the Generations fight with it which is cool. This fight is like, a massive slog that takes FOREVER to kill. I seriously think it may take like 10 minutes to get through if you do perfectly? And it certainly took me about an hour with all my deaths. And the story being like, just the Sonic 1 story is so boring, no one talks, the animations don't look that good. This game just SUCKS. And that's just the game, not even considering the fact it's uploaded to Steam with an error that makes it so you can't launch it without a fan made launcher!

I think what bothers me so much about this game is that people ALWAYS like to flame on the usual suspects when it comes to Sonic. 06, Shadow, stuff like that. But I will die on this hill, those games, while maybe not being GREAT and certainly lacking polish, are FUN and full of heart and soul. Why is this game NEVER brought up? It has barely any, if any, redeeming qualities. I know this was made for youtube reviewers who hated Sonic having friends and stories but I genuinely cannot believe that even they would enjoy just playing Sonic 1 but worse and shorter? Truly a game for no one. Let's move on.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II (May 15, 2012) - PC

So right out of the gate, this game is SO much better than the first it's actually jarring. I still don't think it's great. But it's more just, eh, rather than being terrible like Episode I. For improvements, they drop the art style which is a big help. I feel like the music, while still trying to sound like Genesis music, actually works this time and sounds pleasant and fun. And while Sonic is still REALLY slow and the homing attack still doesn't really work, it just feels better to play. And the addition of new content instead of just rehashing old stuff is VERY welcome. Sonic 4 Episode 2 opens with a brand new, gorgeous castle stage. Has Tails who is used for team up moves, and features ACTUALLY NEW BOSSES! Wow!

Overall it is a massive improvement over the first. But it still has a lot of issues. For one, the levels are SO long. Like, they just do not end ever. And they do kind of start to copy other games in the second half . The Tornado level is a SLOG and just not fun. I hate the stupid half pipes (does anyone really like these?) And the bosses are even worse, they're not BAD but they're SO long and all end on this big hit you have to land that can be a chore to get right (the trash golem boss). And the final boss, while it is WAY cooler, lasts SO long!! You have to walk through a not super short level to get to it, watch a not short cutscene, then watch a cutscene after EVERY PHASE. Unskippable, do this upon EVERY DEATH. Not every Game Over, EVERY DEATH!

Whatever, again, it is a LOT better than the first. It's not offensively bad like that one was. But still, kind of an odd game. The boss themes are great though.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode Metal (May 15, 2012) - PC

I probably don't have to discuss this as it's just Episode I backwards. But I do have to give some props to this one cause it is kinda neat. And probably the most interesting idea of Sonic 4. Letting you play as Metal is cool, I'm a sucker for stuff like this where you revisit worlds in a different context (you start at the final world and work your way back to the starting world.) It's neat! And even though it's pretty much identical to Sonic 4 Episode 1. It's way shorter, with no bosses. So it's more fun.

Overall I'm happy I tried Sonic 4. But these games just sucked man. If you wanna play one, just play Episode 2 don't even bother with Episode 1. I genuinely get a bit of happiness knowing there was never an Episode 3 I have to suffer through. 2D Sonic still has a place nowadays. But everything offered here is done better in LITERALLY EVERY OTHER ATTEMPT AT A NEW 2D SONIC!

Want classic gameplay with nice classic pixel art? Sonic Mania is there. Want classic gameplay with the modern designs? Sonic Advance Trilogy is better. Want 2D Sonic with homing attacks and boosting and stuff? Sonic Rush games are better. Oh but you can't play as Metal? YOU FOOL!! SONIC RIVALS 1&2 ARE BOTH BETTER AND ALSO HAVE SHADOW AND EVEN ROUGE IS IN THE SECOND ONE!

And when do these games take place? Is it trying to imply this ACTUALLY takes place between Sonic 3 and Adventure? Like is this supposed to be saying Metal is only in heroes BECAUSE of this game? That's nuts right? That sounds insane right?

Again, truly a game for no one. Go play Sonic Rivals.

Portal (October 10, 2007) - PC

Ah, Portal! You may be surprised to learn I've never beaten this game! And more surprised to learn I've NEVER beaten a Valve game prior to this! I started this game when I was young but got stuck during one of the puzzles (the only where you have to launch yourself across the barrier you can't shoot through?) and dropped it. But I own it again on steam and thought I should give it another go. And I'm glad I did!

This game was SUPER fun! It's short but every level is genuinely cool to try and figure out how to use the portals to their fullest. Which, in of itself, feels very impressive to me. I can't help but feel like programming and making those portals work must have been a NIGHTMARE! But it payed off because again, it's SUPER fun! GLaDOS is really funny during the whole thing, the credits song is of course fantastic, and the creepy parts where you see outside of the experiments were VERY scary and I had to mute the game during them cause they unnerved me so much lmao.

But without a doubt, the best part of this game was the final boss. I thought it was SUPER interesting trying to get the portals lined up to blast GLaDOS. And the context of the fight, with GLaDOS being obsessed with flooding the facility with toxic gas was very funny.

The only real drawback I can say the game has considering it's so short is that the final escape sequence is a little long. But GLaDOS taunting you during it and trying to sound like she's in control of the situation was fun and I did like the part where you have to fight a bunch of the turrets at once.

But yeah! Fun game! Glad I finally beat it! I still hold firm that Chell is the best choice for a Valve character in Smash Bros. cause I'd be SO interested in seeing them make the portals work in that game!

[geminixevans-stan]

Feels So Right

Pairing: Mechanic!Ari Levinson x Female Reader

Words: 3.9k+

Summary: w

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, angst, fluff, mentions of divorce, explicit language, explicit content, oral f, choking, pussy slapping, creampie,

A/N: Happy freaking 2k to me! Let’s start it off right. This was self-indulgent and little ode to some mutuals in a way! Like, comment, & reblog! ♥

Divider by @firefly-graphics

I do not consent to my work being copied, plagiarized, or translated in any way >:P

What were you thinking? No, seriously, what were you thinking? This wasn’t supposed to be your life. Yet, here you were pacing around your room, trying on dress after dress — for a date! You were supposed to still be married to the love of your life.

But the love of your life — or so you thought he was, decided to end your marriage and be with someone who he stated was just better suited for him. Good riddance right? Except for the pain that coursed through your veins stung for months.

You decided life wasn’t even worth living for after the divorce was final. At least your ex was nice enough to leave the house to you. The walls that held your memories were now bare. Walking passed those picture frames hurt each time and it reminded you of something that was no more.

For months you didn’t even leave the house. Your friends urged you to get up and move on with your life. God knows he did and it made you sick knowing he’d never love you again — like you still loved him.

Friends would come by and check on you and it was nice that they still cared. You were a shell and they hated to see you like that. The grueling months went by and you had used up all of your vacation time at work.

Your boss was understanding and you didn’t want to take her kindness for granted. It was time to go out into the world again, even the sun was surprised to see you as much as it was shining that day.

Taking your normal commute to work was a dream — until it wasn’t. You found yourself on the side of the road with a smoking car no less. Cursing at yourself for not getting it checked sooner. Luckily, you still had Triple-A on hand, otherwise, you would have had to call one of your friends and you didn’t want to be more of a burden than you already were.

The tow truck took you to the auto shop that you were familiar with and you had to do a double-take at how much it changed. Had you been gone that long? Depression will definitely make the weeks feel like days and the months feel like weeks.

The place even smelled better on the inside and as you took in all the new changes, you hear the door open, and… the universe had to be playing a sick game on you.

The man that walked out the door, was as tall as the frame, with feathered brown locks that framed his face just right and a body that you wouldn’t mind being under. Your eyes dropped down to his hands and… goodness. They were huge.

Your mouth dropped open slightly and if you stared any longer, a puddle of drool would be pooling at your feet.

The blood rushing to your ears muffled the sound of your name being called once. But the deep baritone of this man’s voice when he said your name twice, pulled you from your trance.

You snapped your mouth shut, gulping down the spit that almost fell from your lips. Gathering up whatever composure that you had left, look up at the towering stature of the Greek God.

“Uh- um, yeah that’s me,” you say in a quiet tone.

The man extends his hand and you could have died when he smiled at you.

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Walker, the name’s Ari,” the sound of that name made you wince and before he could get another word in, you squeaked out your maiden name.

Ari looks back at the paper and then back at you, “Oh but, it says..”

“I’m… recently divorced, I should’ve updated everything by now,” the shame setting in as your shoulders slumped a bit.

But your shame quickly turned into confusion when you heard his chuckle.

“I thought that was you,” his amused voice matching his beaming smile. There was no way this man knew who you were. Not a chance in hell. But as you looked up at the name on the new logo. You repeated his name in your head.

The cogs in your brain began to turn, “Ari… Levinson… Ari… Holy crap! Stick?! Oh my… You.. Grew up.”

His laugh bounced off the walls before enveloping you in a hug and God did he feel warm. You melt into his embrace, letting the smell of his cologne consume you. It had been so long since you were hugged like this, you wanted to stay there forever.

But it was over as Ari slipped his arms from around you, getting a good look at you, “You haven’t changed. Just got rid of some dead weight,” he said giving you a look mixed with sympathy and awe.

His last statement stung, but he was right. Your friends and family knew John was nothing but dead weight holding you down.

You chuckled nervously, wrapping your arms around yourself, “You heard about that huh?”

“My old man couldn’t stop talking about how a piece of shit he was. You didn’t deserve that,” you wish you could say he was wrong, but he wasn’t. John would never checked your car, let alone take it to get tuned up yearly. Stating you were a big girl and didn’t need him to hold your hand.

Every time that you would walk in the auto shop, old man Isaac would shake his head, muttering that a lady shouldn’t have to worry about things like this. He was even more annoyed the day you caught a flat because John refused to check the air in your tires.

He serviced you like he always did but didn’t charge you a penny. Instead, he charged John the full amount and left a nice note explaining why.

Something about “Only worthless men don’t protect their wives”

News of his death did get to you but you were too numb to even react. You did of course send flowers and thanks. As Ari mentioned his dad, your lip trembled as you gazed up at him.

“I’m sorry about Isaac. He was the best,” you say as Ari gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes this time.

“Yeah… Yeah he was. But! Enough of the sad talk, let’s get you up and going okay?” his voice softer now as he took out his clipboard, “So the motor is shot but I can have that fixed in a day. Your tires are worn a bit but I can order new ones for you so you don’t have to.”

That sounded like a lot of money that quite frankly you didn’t have. You knew that your car would have to stay until you got the money together so you stopped Ari, “Those sound expensive Ari and it’s something that I can’t afford right now..”

Ari’s brows furrowed but still looking at you with a softened look, “Who says I wanted your money sugar?”

Oh no… was this about to be one of those kinds of payments? Granted he looks amazing but you weren’t about to sleep with him to get your car fixed.

Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, “I’m no-not going to sleep with you! What the hell Ari!”

“Woah! Woah! I never said that” amusement lacing his words, “The only payment from you that I’m willing to take is one date. Just one. Two if you like me after the first one,” there was no way he was serious. But as the silence set in, not once did he laugh or say “gotcha”

Your mouth opened once, closed, and opened again. Shock had set in, “You? Want to go on a date? With me?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life sweetheart. Whaddya say?” his voice was laced with hope. He hoped you would say yes because deep down, he didn’t think he stood a chance. Ari wished he got to you first after all those years and life was giving him a second chance.

You stood there in disbelief, surely he would see what a mess you were as soon as you let him in. Doubt began to set in. What if he didn’t like you? What if he canceled after realizing he could do better?

“That would never happen,” his voice cutting through your thoughts. You must have said them out loud because he answered quickly, “You’ve been my crush since high school sugarplum. It’s time to do what I should have done years ago.”

Ari’s eyes pierced through yours and you could feel the heat in his gaze. John didn’t even look at you the way Ari did and it literally stole your breath away. What could one date hurt? It would be good to catch up anyway right?

You agreed to have one date with Ari. He planned everything down to the date, time, and place. He wouldn’t take your offer of just meeting up. No, he wasn’t going to let you lift a finger.

So, here you were on a group facetime with your friends, Dina, Arielle, Stephanie, and Audrey. Your room was a mess and you still haven’t found anything to wear. Only thing that you successfully had done was your hair and makeup.

“I knew we shoulda went over there,” chimed Arielle, “Poor girl is in shambles.”

“Just pick the tightest dress you can find!” shouted Stephanie.

“The girl can barely breathe with just her underwear on! You want her to suffocate?” spoke Audrey.

“Well it would get her laid that’s for sure,” muttered Dina.

“DINA!!” everyone shouted

Dina cackled, covering her mouth in laughter, “You were all thinking it! Those cobwebs need to be knocked off. Lord knows the dumbass couldn’t do it.

Murmurs of agreeance filled the room as you set out 3 potential dresses, “Okay… What about these?”

Silence filled the room again as everyone gave the most disgusted looks. Dina was the first to speak, “What are you a nun? Burn em.”

Audrey chuckled, “Yeah even I want you to never let those dresses see the light of day”

All the girls busted out laughing as you sank to the floor, “None of you are any help! He’s going to be here in 30 minutes and I’m still not dressed.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing. Less to take off,” Stephanie shrugged, getting a glare from Arielle.

You let out a huff of frustration as the time came closer and closer. This wasn’t going to work out and you knew Ari was on his way because he sent you a message an hour ago.

There was nothing in your closet that was date material. John never took you on dates so there was never any need to actually buy anything remotely sexy.

That was until…

“What about that strappy dress that I got for your divorce gift?” asked Audrey, “I haven’t seen you even take it out of the bag.”

Everyone nodded and agreed and you were just mortified, “I can’t wear that! It’s…”

“It’s perfect! Go on, try it,” urged Dina.

It couldn’t hurt, right? There was no time to even debate because in exactly 10 minutes, Ari would be knocking on your door.

You pulled out the dress bag, slowly pulling the zipper down. The black silk pulled you in the moment you laid eyes on it. The danger in having the fabric on your skin scared and excited you at the same time.

A lump formed in your throat as you tried to swallow but there was no time for doubt. 5 minutes had already passed. You quickly slip the dress on, tying the straps in the right place and slipping on the matching heels. It felt like they lifted you almost a foot off the floor. But as you looked in the mirror, the woman looking back at you was unrecognizable.

But in a good way. She wasn’t the shell of the person that you used to be. She was… hot.

“What are you doing?! Let us see!” screamed Arielle. You quickly came into the focus of the camera as everyone looked stunned.

You looked and them as they looked back at you, “Well? Say something!”

“Oh John is an idiot!” shouted Arielle.

“You’ve been hiding those tits this whole time?!” blurted out Stephanie.

“Fuck the tits look at the ass!” added in Dina

“Mommy? Sorry.. Mommy?” Audrey says in awe.

Heat rushed to your cheeks as they all spoke at once, “So it’s good?” you ask nervously.

They all say yes in unison, your accomplished smile reaching your eyes.

All the commotion died down with the sound of a knock on your door, “Shit! He’s here. Okay, guys love you!”

“Wait a minute!” Yelled Dina, “What’s this guy’s name?”

With everything going on, you forgot to tell them that your date was Ari.. “Umm Ari? Levinson?”

“STICK?!” they all yelled at once

You gave them a smirk, “Not anymore,” you hear another knock, “Gotta go! See ya!” You end the call, grabbiing your purse and keys and make it to the door, twisting the knob before Ari can knock a third time.

When he laid eyes on you, it was his turn to drool, “You.. Jesus… damn,” he stands there tripping over his words.

You hung your head down, not used to a man being lost for words for you.

Ari quickly lifted your head up with his finger, “None of that sugarplum, you’re gonna be the prettiest woman in the room. Damn… I’m the luckiest man alive right now.”

You preen lightly at his compliments, taking his hand as he leads you out the house and down the stairs.

The entire night went perfectly from beginning to end. Neither you or Ari wanted it to end. That’s why right now at this moment, Ari can’t make himself leave your doorstep and you don’t want him to.

To say you haven’t felt like this in a long time would be the wrong statement. You’ve never felt this way before. Your body has been on fire the entire night and all you want is Ari put the flame out.

You both stand in front of each other, Ari being the first to make a move. He cups your face, bringing his lips down to yours, sucking your bottom lip between his.

He pulls you to him by the small of your back deepening the kiss as you moan softly into his parted lips. You two stand there consuming each other for what feels like hours before he pulls back.

You whine from the loss of him as he shakes his head, “We should stop sugarplum. I don’t want to but we should…”

Your eyes roll up to his, “But I don’t want to stop Ari.. This is been the best night in my life in a long time. Don’t go,” you say the last word in a needy whisper.

Ari presses his lips to your forehead, “I get a chance with you sugarplum and I don’t want to ruin it.”

You step up to him, running your fingers up the back of his neck, raking your nails softly against his scalp, making him lightly growl

“So, take your chance…”

He didn’t need you to tell him twice. “Keys,” you waste no time handing over your keys to him. With a quickness you hear the door unlock and open, “jump,” he commands. Your arms lace around his neck while his hands run down the back of your thighs, lifting you effortlessly off the floor and wrapping your legs around his waist.

Ari smashes his lips to yours bringing you both into the house, kicking the door closed and swiftly locking it. He never takes his lips off yours, curling his tongue around yours as you whimper into his mouth.

He places you on the cabinet leaning up against a wall with a mirror hanging over it, bunching up your dress and kneeling before you. A fresh gush of slick added more wetness to your already soaked panties watching this man on his knees and it was all for you.

“Ari- what..”

“Shh,” those blue slate eyes rolling up to meet yours, “Only thing I wanna hear is my name and the pretty sounds I’m gonna pull outta you,” you clamped your mouth shut, watching his eyes return back between your legs.

He spreads your thighs with his thick hands, sliding them up and ripping your panties from your skin. You let out a breathy moan, catching his attention. Ari lays his eyes on you again, lifting each leg and draping them over his shoulders one by one.

“Eyes on me sugarplum, let me see you,” he whispers before diving his head between your thighs nudging his nose against your aching core. You let out a surprised yelp the minute his tongue licked up your quivering folds. Stars clouded your eyes and he was just getting started.

You squirmed in his hold, inching away from his face. The sensations you were feeling were too much but with an audible growl from Ari, he yanks your hips back where they belonged. He laid one slap to your pulsing clit making you arch your back and cry out.

“Move again and I’ll make you pass out on my tongue,” oh that made you clench and whimper. Ari smirked at you, sinking his teeth into your inner thigh and licking the bite mark. You preened, growing impatient with his teasing.

Lacing your fingers through his locks, you push his head back between your legs, hearing a muffle attagirl before feeling his lips wrap around your clit suckling your bud in his mouth.

“Ohfuck- Ari!” you scream, grinding your wetness in his face, pulling his hair as he adds his tongue to the assault of your jumping clit. You pull him closer, resting your head against the hanging mirror falling into his web.

Ari’s tongue flicks faster against your clit, feeling his lips add pressure to his sucks until the only noises to be heard are your broken moans and his audible suck. Pressure fills your core, blooming with every single stroke of his thick muscle until you break.

You never thought any man would ever make you come the way Ari did. Your sobs fill the room as your lower half convulses on his tongue. Ari drinks you up like he’ll never drink again, groaning against your folds as he tastes all of you for the first time.

He wants to see you do it again and again like it’s his mission. Ari holds your legs open licking up every drop before diving back in and sucking you back in his mouth but sliding two fingers inside your silken walls. His fingers creep, up, up, up until he finds that spot making you tremble in his arms.

Ari lets out a satisfied sigh, curling fingers at the spot, stroking it at the same pace as his tongue. Your eyes roll back, mouth going slack as Ari begins to pull another orgasm from you.

His fingers scissors you open never leaving your spot, your creaminess forming a ring around the thick digits. Your body arches once more, the pressure building again but faster this time. Your breaths become quick and Ari goes faster making the white flash over your eyes as your orgasm hits you out of nowhere.

You let out a silent scream, gushing into Ari’s waiting mouth, your legs clamping around his head as he drinks every drop from you. If he has to die between your legs, that’s what Ari will do.

Your body falls limp, as your high comes down. Ari kisses both your thighs before standing back up, looking at your blissed-out face. He takes your face in his hands, placing soft kisses to your skin, “Come back to me sugarplum, I got you,” he whispers smiling at the small smile you give him, “There’s my girl,” he says proudly, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

He leaves your juices on your lips, swiping your tongue over your swollen lips you become intoxicated, grabbing the back of his neck and crashing your lips to his, sliding your tongue over his as your taste yourself. Ari moans into your mouth, loosening his belt and pushing his pants and briefs down in one motion.

Ari grabs his aching cock in one hand giving it a few strokes before lining the leaking head to your slit. You let out a surprised noise in his mouth as he slides in, letting the tip stretch you out. You pull away from his lips, looking down at the thick veiny member about to wreck you.

Your eyes look into his, he pushes further as your let out a choked moan, your walls sucking him right in.

Ari leans his forehead against yours, knowing that he could come right now from just how tight you are, ���Sugarplum… fuck. Pussy’s so greedy for me. Let me give her what she wants. Ready?”

You give a nod, “Please,” you say desperately, “Need all of you, Ari…”

He lays one more kiss to your lips, “I’ll do whatever you tell me to sugarplum,” he surges forward filling you to the brim. You gasp against his lips, feeling fuller than you’ve ever been.

You grasp onto his back as he pulls all the way out leaving the tip in before snapping his hips over and over. Ari lifts you up, dropping you up and down on his cock as you cream all over his length. The squelching of your pussy can be heard the more he drops you down filling you over and over again.

Ari sets you down pinning your legs back as he looks deep into your eyes and thrusts into your creamy center, pulling the most inhumane sounds out of you. He angles his hips just right, hitting that spongy spot over and over.

Spurt after spurt of juices land on his pistoning cock as the cabinet knocks against the wall with every stroke he gives you. Your walls flutter and pull him in as he hits your spot over and over again.

Ari curses under his breath, wrapping his hand around your neck and squeezing lightly, “You here with me sugarplum?” you nod, unable to speak because he making you feel just that good.

He drops his hand down, circling your clit with his fingers until the dam breaks again, flooding his cock with your juices as you scream his name out.

“Ari! Fuck!” you call out, gripping onto his biceps as his fingers don’t stop rubbing your sensitive bud. Another orgasm crashes into the first and you let out a silent scream as your begin to milk him of every drop he’ll give you.

“Baby… baby, fuck!” he groans out, filling you with thick ropes of cum as you suck him in not letting go until he’s done.

Ari pulls you to flush to him as he keeps filling you up, kissing and suckling on your lips. You take his face in your hands, whispering to him, “Give me everything, there you go,” he whimpers against your lips painting your walls with the last drop.

You two stay wrapped up in each other until your highs come down. Ari is the first to speak, “You okay sugarplum?” he asks checking your face.

You give him a smile that let’s him know you’re more than okay, “Fantastic,” you look up at him innocently, “Stay? Please?”

Ari lets out a soft chuckle, “You’re stuck with me sugarplum…”

[weekly-fandom-rambles]

MC crying over one of the brother’s insecurities/fears

Older Brother Scenarios

Bulletpoint writing seems to get me out of slumps, so have some~. Also, there's nothing overtly romantic in these. Just some MC angst and comfort from the demon bros. (Younger Brothers found here.)

CW: gn!mc (they/them), angst, hurt/comfort, crying, self-depreciation, traits that could be read as depressive, happy ends, not proofread

*Obey Me Masterlist*

Lucifer

Lucifer had been exceptionally proud of the human exchange student that was living with them.

They worked diligently on their studies and followed his rules to the best of their ability.

He would often find them still at their studies late into the night, sending them to bed himself.

That was if they hadn’t fallen asleep on their work, which happened more than either would like to admit.

That night he had planned to do the same routine.

That was until he heard an unfamiliar noise coming from their room.

He gently pushed open the cracked door to find their room lit solely by their desk lamp.

MC was there, sat at the table, head in their hands.

Crying.

Their labored breath caught in their throat, stifling quiet sobs, as tears fell onto the scattered papers beneath them.

Lucifer quietly made his way beside them, neither hiding nor announcing his presence.

MC seemed smaller and more vulnerable than he had ever seen them, their hunched shoulders shaking with the emotions that racked their body.

He scanned the area to see the source of their distress.

Opened textbooks and nearly finished assignments littered the surface.

And glowing above it all was their opened D.D.D., displaying a text exchange between MC, Mammon, and Asmodeus.

“MC, ya hardly hang out with me anymore. Cant ya go out with me n Asmo tonight?”

“Yeah MC. This party is supposed to be fabulous. You shouldn’t miss out!”

“Sorry guys. I don’t want to fall behind in my school work.”

“OK, but dont be complainin when we have all the fun.”

“You should ask Satan to help you next time. It’s more fun when you're there. *blowing kiss*”

Though the messages were time-stamped for hours ago, it was clear that this was somehow the source of their current sadness.

Making his move, Lucifer gently placed his hand on their shoulder.

They froze at his touch but slowly turned to look at him, wiping at their flow of tears.

Without a word, he drew them into an embrace and their sobs resumed once more.

They clung onto him like a frightened child and let their tears soak his shirt.

Lucifer knew they needed this.

Needed to purge their raw emotions before they could explain or work through anything.

So he simply held MC as they cried until their tears were spent.

When their crying began to subside, he lifted them away from their workspace and positioned the two to sit on the edge of their bed.

“MC, please let me know what is wrong. What has you so sad? I’ll do anything in my power to fix it.”

“I-it’s nothing. It’s my p-problem”

Their voice wavered and they looked away from the demon before them.

“I just can’t. I can’t do everything! I want to do so-so much but-but I can’t do it all! I-I want to be - to be perfect, but I can’t! I hate it!”

New tears washed their face as they sobbed their confession.

On some level, he knew.

Lucifer knew exactly what you meant.

He knew because deep down, he had that same fear.

He wanted to be reliable and dependable for Diavolo while being connected to his brothers in so many ways that he was not.

The line between responsible and available was tough, and Lucifer failed to walk it more times than he could count.

Once again he gently pulled them into a hug.

“MC…”

He gently pet their hair as they practically curled into his lap.

“Nobody here expects you to be perfect. And as much as you may want it, you can’t be. That’s something that makes you human. But being human is all that we ask of you.”

Lucifer tried his best to remain calm and comforting.

“We don’t expect you to excel at your studies, just that you put in an honest effort. But your studies aren’t the only aspect of the exchange program.”

They looked with red, watery eyes up to his own steady, ruby irises.

“You should also engage with our culture and enjoy everything it has to offer. It’s okay to go out and socialize and have fun sometimes.”

He squeezed them just a bit tighter.

“It would pain me if your stay was only filled with stress and sadness.”

They nodded into his chest.

At some point during his comfort, MC’s sobs had turned into steady silent tears.

But he continued to hold them all the same.

He only let go after they had finally exhausted themself and had fallen asleep in his arms.

Mammon

Mammon walked through the halls of RAD toward the classroom he knew MC was in.

He had asked them to wait for him to finish the student council meeting so they could walk home together.

He was tired from all the talking they had done, so when he opened the door it took him a moment to register that MC wasn’t there.

At least, not immediately.

Their school bag and supplies were still scattered across one of the desks, so they would be sure to come back soon.

Amongst the rif-raf was an overturned packet of paper.

Seeing as he had some time to kill, Mammon didn’t see anything wrong with looking at what was out in the open.

He turned it over to see the test that had been handed back that day in Devildom History.

He knew that MC had studied all last week in preparation, so he was shocked to see the grade circled in red at the top.

13/100

And in the professor’s scrawl beneath it said “See me after class.”

Whatever thoughts were starting to form in his mind were interrupted when MC walked back into the classroom.

Even from the distance where he was, Mamms could see the redness in their eyes.

The confused look on his face paired with him holding their test was all it took for tears to overtake MC’s features.

“MC, what’s wrong?”

They didn’t answer him, instead opting to hide from his gaze by hiding behind the instructor’s desk.

Mammon stumbled out of his seat and raced to the other side to see MC kneeling on the floor.

Their arms wrapped around their torso as their shoulders shook with silent sobs.

“MC, stand up. Talk to me.”

He tried his best to hide the panic that was creeping through his system.

Their tear-coated face looked up to the hand Mammon extended to them.

With their hand placed in his, Mammon pulled them swiftly into him, cradling them against his frame.

“Well, you don’t have to talk right now. It’s okay if you need to cry. I’ve got you.”

And seemingly at his words, MC became jelly in his hands, bawling into his chest as he held the back of their head.

He didn’t care how long he had to stand there, for Mammon would be there for all of eternity to show MC that they were safe with him.

MC gently pushed away as their tears began to slow.

“Thank you, Mammon. I just… I… I tried. I tried my hardest and I still failed. I’m a failure. Just a disappointment.”

The hands that pushed him away moments ago gripped fiercely onto his shirt.

“I can’t keep up with Lucifer’s, or Diavolo’s, or anyone’s expectations. I’m just… useless.”

With those words, Mammon’s heart shattered.

How could these poisonous words come from his favorite human?

The words that echoed in his own head more times than he could count finally, truly wounded him when they were directed back at MC.

His hands cupped their face and made them look into his golden-blue eyes, even as tears began to fall on his face.

“Don’t. Just…how… how could you think that? You are… You…”

He pulled MC back into him, resting his head on their shoulder.

“If you did your best, that’s all you can do. That’s more than most people can say.”

His own tears stained MC’s shirt.

“You aren’t useless, or a disappointment, or a failure. You are so precious. To Luci, and Diavolo, and Me. We could never be disappointed in you.”

Whether he was telling these words for them or himself, it didn’t matter as the grip each had on the other tightened until they were both a ball of heartfelt sobs.

When the two finally cried themselves out, Mamms helped them gather their things to walk back home.

Leviathan

Leviathan knocked softly on MC’s door.

He wanted to invite them to his room to watch season one of the anime The Fairytail Pretty Boy is Actually a Secret Villain who Rules the School!!! in preparation for the second season that premiered tomorrow.

When he didn’t get a response he poked his head in through the cracked door to see if they were busy or wearing headphones.

Levi didn’t see MC, but he heard the sink running in their bathroom suite.

He made himself comfortable on their bed and waited for them to finish whatever they were doing in there.

He pulled out his D.D.D. to grind a round or two of the current raid event in Mononoke Land.

It wasn’t until Levi realized that he had been waiting for well over 10 minutes that a pit of worry grew in his stomach.

What if MC left the tap running, or they got injured, or worse.

Despite all of his otaku instincts telling him it was a bad idea, he once again knocked to see if MC was there.

After a moment without response, he announced his entrance into the bathroom.

Opening the door, he was greeted with the scared expression of MC sitting in the empty bathtub.

They were wearing the headphones he had gifted them, but their clothes and face were splashed with water.

No. Not water.

Tears.

MC had been blocking out everything around them and was crying.

After the realization dawned on him, Leviathan closed the door behind him and went to turn off the faucet.

He then slumped against the outside of the bathtub, not looking at MC.

There was a shuffle and sniffle behind him.

“Levi I-”

“It’s okay MC. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. Just… don’t send me away.”

He wouldn’t say it, but he was worried about them.

Really worried about them.

What would make them want to hole themself away from the world like…

…like him.

There was another shift in the tub and Levi felt MC put their head against his, sitting practically back to back.

“Levi… I-I just needed to get away from it. From the exchange program… The Devildom… Everything.”

He could feel their breath hitch behind him.

“I-I don’t belong here. I’m *hic* I’m too different. From everyone. I don’t fit in here.”

They drew away from him, likely curling into themself.

The thought chilled Leviathan.

He knew the feeling.

He had felt like that so many times before.

Of being other to those who were around.

The feeling that no one understood him, even if they tried.

The only reason he hadn’t felt that way recently was because of MC.

Because MC didn’t try to fully understand him; they just accepted him as he was.

Now was the time he had to return that kindness.

He moved from his slouched position to lean his side against the bath, draping his arm along the edge and staring at MC’s huddled, shaking body.

“I… I know I’m not good at saying it, but, MC, you do belong here.”

Levi closed his eyes.

“You bring so much joy to our lives… to my life… you listen to me when I rant about my anime a-and you talk to me about your passions too. That’s why we’re best friends. Why you’re my Henry. So, you can’t be all that different from us, right?”

It wasn’t until he felt a grip on his hand that he opened his eyes and looked at them.

Beneath their tears and the free hand that struggled to push them away, MC gave a small smile.

“Thanks, Levi. My Lord of Shadows a-always knows how to cheer me up.”

It was then, with that heartfelt line, that his otaku meter finally bust.

Levi could feel the raging blush spread across his face and he wanted to curl up and hide.

However, the soft hold of MC’s hand was enough to keep him there, just to comfort them.

[oneshotnewbie]

Reader is trying to get some peace (depressive) and after work she says down somewhere and tried to sort out her thoughts but then Olivia shows up and comforts her without knowing what's wrong?

For several hours you have sat on the cold bench next to a small park in Manhattan and didn't move, just looked into the far distance of Upper Bay as you watched the sun slowly fade into the water. The only thing you needed was the silence that you fished out of the increasingly empty environment to sort your thoughts and feelings that had haunted you for a while now.

To be honest, you didn't even know how to sort your thoughts, they flew through your head so fast that you forgot the first thought by the time the second one came.

The feeling you felt was comparable to the one you felt when you were in the shower - when you lift your entire head under the water and you can only hear the patter of the water on your own head. When it is so loud that everything else fades, although shortly before it could only be heard softly.

It is the only thing you can perceive in this moment.

And suddenly you open your mouth because you can no longer hold your breath and then the water runs into your mouth and you briefly feel as if you are suffocating. Exactly this feeling was pressing on your chest.

Shaking your head to get you out of your own trance, you sipped on the beer you got yourself earlier, hoping you would find out why you were so sad and empty, why you didn't feel like talking. With no one, not even your best friend.

"Have one for me too?" someone asked, making you flinch for a moment. Presumably because of your job, your hand immediately grabbed your gun in the holster on your hip out of reflex, but came off again when you noticed who was standing behind you.

Jesus..How on earth did you find me?"

The brunette giggled before leaning over you, stealing a beer from the six pack and slumping down on the bench next to you. With her keys, that she still had in one of her hands, the beer cap was opened within a few seconds and fell on her lap before she also took a sip and the bottle came to rest in her lap.

"I'm a detective. It's.. kind of my job."

"Yeah, right." you spoke in a scratchy voice as you bent forward - your elbows resting on your thighs as you looked into the distance yet again.

Olivia nervously scratched the manufacturer's label with her fingernails, not knowing how to start the conversation. The change of nature of your personality didn't go unnoticed by her either. Her usually cheerful, open-minded and talkative best friend and detective in her unit closed herself off and revealed very little to nothing about herself anymore and she knew immediately that something was wrong.

“Are you okay, though? You, uh, seemed like you didn’t want to be found.”

You cleared your throat, feeling almost overwhelmed with this question. How could you explain something, if you didn't even know what it was yourself?

The sadness that ached in your bones was bitter and you preferred to scream and cry but instead you fell silent, as if your body wanted to keep you away from liberation and to make you a prisoner of your own soul. Inside, everything was dark and cold, the colors of a rainbow you once had, were fading and blending into a swallowing black; your soul felt frozen.

Your body was feeling heavy with each step you took and your strength was dwindling every single day. "I don't know how to explain it," you stated with a shaky breath, thinking about all the times these past weeks you've pulled yourself together to escape the darkness. Every moment you headed for the abyss, you pulled yourself off the cliff again.

You struggled with the darkness every day and carried on, day after day, even though you knew that the next day would be the same and you didn't wanted to get out of bed in the morning. "I am just so tired."

With a look that she waved sideways into your glassy and teary eyes, she understood immediately. Carefully, she moved a bit closer to you and put an arm around you, pushing you closer to her. Your head fell on her shoulder and your gaze fell on the brown bottle in your hands, which caught the glow of the lantern and reflected them.

"Honey, if you are too tired to speak, that´s okay." she whispered to you. While her lips touched your temple leaving a cold kiss behind, one hand tried to secure the lost strand of your hair and tugging it behind your ear to have a clear view of you again. "Let's sit here and say nothing. I am fluent in silence too."

And then it hit you. Suddenly, you knew why you fought day after day.

You carried on, for the people that you loved and who obviously loved you- for Olivia and the others in your squad and especially for yourself. Because in Olivia's arms, you remembered the good times when the darkness wasn't a part of your life and you knew that you could get it out of the hole with her by your side and could cling to her when your world would start to crumble again.

[lotus-flowerz]

Hello!

May I request some scene where Genshin men (like Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli or Albedo) helping gn reader who's really demotivated to do anything for weeks?

I'm in a bit of a slump and i cant bring myself to do even basic chores like showering or eating properly.

Thanks again for your time! Have a pleasant day :)

of course! i hope you feel better soon :)

sorry this took so long, this is second time i'm writing this because my computer is a jerk and decided to restart in the middle of writing this plus im swamped with school

TW!! NEGLECT OF SELF CARE, NOT EATING, FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND HOPELESSNESS, DEPRESSION

"Love?"

Diluc gently knocked on your door. He had just gotten back from a 2 week trip to Liyue, an emergency business trip because some idiot doing the winery's taxes and funding slipped up and there were discrepancies in the bills for the tavern and winery.

Upon arriving home, he was bombarded by the maids begging him to check on you, since apparently you hadn't left your room for a week and a half except to eat, and that was only every two or three days.

Of course, this worried him, so he rushed up to check on you, only to find the door locked.

"Diluc?" you mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear through the door.

"Yes, it's me. May I come in?"

"Um. It's really messy.. I'm really messy."

"That's okay. You remember what I told you when you confided in me, yes?"

"Yeah.. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to deal with the more.. messy parts of it."

"I struggle with it too, Y/n. I understand."

"Alright," the door unlocked, "Come in."

He opened the door carefully, inspecting you guys' now messy room.

His heart dropped when his gaze rested on your dazed and shrunken back figure, looking down at the ground. He was quick to wrap you in a hug, pressing kisses on your hair.

"Um, I'm not trying to be rude by any means, but have you... uh... showered at all?"

"No.. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. How about I ask the maids to prepare dinner for us while I give you a bath, and then we can clean this room together?"

"That would be nice. Thank you, Diluc."

He squeezed you a bit harder, as if you would disappear if he didn't hold onto you.

"It's no problem at all, Y/n."

"Hey! Y/n, I'm home!"

Kaeya had been out on a mission for the past 2 weeks, something to do with the abyss and needing to fight a bunch of things.

"Hey, angel?"

He was walking around the dark downstairs of your shared house, unsure of where you were.

"Kaeya..?" came a familiar mumble from upstairs.

"Y/n! It's like a damn cave in here why is it-"

He stopped talking as he ascended the stairs, walking into your shared bedroom, which looked like a tornado had hit it. You were sitting on your bed, knees hugged to your chest.

"Uh, are you sick?"

"No. Uh, it happened again."

"Oh. Oh. Shit, okay." he came and sat on the bed, gently taking you into his arms.

"Kaeya, I'm gross right now, I haven't showered."

"I don't care, it's alright. Just relax, we can think about cleaning and stuff later."

You nodded silently, and he pressed your head more into his chest, stroking your hair and holding you close.

You closed your eyes and relaxed further against him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with each breath and hearing his steady heartbeat.

"Thanks, Kaeya."

"Anytime. If you start feeling like you're gonna go into another episode, just come get me okay?"

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you too, Y/n!"

"My dear, I am back!"

Zhongli called to the seemingly empty house you both shared. He had dealings to attend to regarding his gnosis and his contract with the Fatui, and he had been gone for the past two weeks.

"Zhongli?"

"It's me, where are you?"

"Our room."

He walked down the hallway to your shared bedroom, and his face fell when he saw you.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled "I tried to stop it, but I couldn't."

His face fell into concern. Your depressive episodes always got so bad, and he worried for you greatly during them.

"I'm sorry I didn't clean the house."

"Dear, it is not the house I am worried about. Are you alright? When did you last eat or shower?"

"Um, the day after you left was the last time I showered. I ate 3 days ago, I think."

"Oh, that is not good.. Hm, I will prepare a meal for you while you shower, alright? I will also prepare some herbal remedies for you, meant to boost mood and energy. We will get through this together, Y/n."

A small smile graced your lips.

"Thank you, Zhongli. I love you."

"I love you too, my dearest Y/n."

"Y/n, I've returned from the lab."

Albedo called out. He often left for long periods of time to go to his lab in Dragonspine, always needing to perfect some experiment or finish research.

"Y/n, are you home?"

You emerged from your room , stumbling out clumsily. Albedo's eyes widened.

"Are you sick??" he asked, his usually monotone voice laced with concern.

"No.. I go into depressive episodes sometimes. I'm guessing that you know how all of that works, chemical imbalances in the brain and stuff?"

"Oh. I do, Y/n. Why didn't you tell me you struggled with this before? I could have tried to find a remedy, or at least something to help.."

"I was afraid that you would judge me.. not because of something you did or anything, that's just how everyone else reacts."

"Oh. I would never judge you, Y/n. Is there anything I can do to help? I do not mean offense by this, but it seems you haven't had much motivation to do anything, judging by my surroundings, your appearance, and my previous knowledge of mental illness."

"I don't take offense to that, but uh, maybe next time sugarcoat that a little?" you giggled.

"Oh, right. My apologies, you know sometimes I do forget.. etiquette in holding everyday conversations."

You smiled again, walking over to him and leaning into his chest.

"It's alright, Bedo."

"Can I try something that always makes Klee feel better when she's sad?"

"Sure." you mumbled into his chest.

He sighed, and then began to hum something. It sounded like a lullaby, but you couldn't quite recognize it. But his smooth voice melted your heart and made you relax against him. You felt his hands settle on the small of your back as he continued to hum, leaning his head on yours.

"I love you." you said, squeezing him tighter.

"I love you too, my dove."