#yeah I do stupid quizzes. I LIKE TO HAVE FUN SOMETIMES

[flowerboy11300]

Wait why the hell is this so accurate to me???

HOWD THEY KNOW I LOVE ENEMIES TO LOVERS. I’m basic that’s why.

[planetkiimchi]

i knew it first | z.cl

"i'm in love, i'm in love, i'm in love with the boy next door." (series masterlist)

featuring: neighbour!chenle x gn!reader, cameos by johnny, winwin, joy, suzy, dokyeom, renjun, jisung, ningning

word count: 15278 words

warnings: a little bit of swearing (i tried to keep it to a minimum), food mentions, some angst bc would it really be my fic if i don't give my characters major issues am i right 🤩

summary — chenle's pretty sure his crush on you is obvious. it's a little stupid, really, just how in love he is with you. but it's even more foolish how you don't seem to realise until he confesses properly. you can lie and say you knew he liked you all along, but he'll stand by the fact that he knew you liked him first.

author's note: happy birthday, my wonderful zanna @slytherinshua <3 thank you for being the most supportive friend EVER, for always being open to doing face quizzes (and for being so patient when i get them wrong), and for always trying to engage everyone in the server or the community. i hope you have the most wonderful month and that you get all the good things you deserve!

At 22, you were accustomed to solitude. Your career path as an actor had started ever since you were a child, and you were one of the few kids on set who didn’t cry when your parents left. Your parents took this as a sign to enrol you in acting classes, and you joined theatre in high school.

By the time you graduated high school, you were performing in musicals locally, often practising with the rest of the crew late into the night. Each run needed to be as perfect as possible, and the pressure could get to your head sometimes, which was when you would take a step back, speak to your friends—especially Winwin—and find your footing before you went back to practising.

You had quite a strong support system within the performers, but outside of them, you didn’t have anyone else.

You moved out of your parents’ house shortly after you turned 22. While it was, in some sense, a financial burden for your family, you and your parents had agreed that it was worth it, especially since your schedule was erratic and you often came home late, disrupting their sleep. It wasn’t like you saw them often anyway, so you all came to the conclusion that it would be better for you to move out.

“Sicheng,” you called, winding through the house with a mug in your hand. “Sicheng, where are you?” Winwin emerged from the living room, phone in hand, his eyebrows raised. “What?” “Oh, I just had a question.” Winwin turned away, taking a seat on the couch and crossing his right ankle over his left knee. “Sit.” Once you were seated, he turned his body to face you, and with a posture of attentiveness, asked, “What’s up?” “Should I have a housewarming party? I don’t know if it’s a good idea, what if the neighbours are my fans and they harass me for the entire time I live here once they find out who I am?” Winwin looked at you curiously. “Okay, wait, slow down. You don’t even like parties.” You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Well, yeah, but—” “No buts. If you don’t want a housewarming party, then just don’t hold one,” Winwin concluded, leaning back into the couch.

“But… It's not that I don’t want to host a housewarming party either. I do want to celebrate having a new house, it’s just…” “Socially exhausting?” Winwin supplied.

“...yeah.” Winwin picked up a pen from the coffee table, spinning it around as he hummed. “What kind of party do you want to have?” “Maybe potluck?” “That could work. You could send invitations to whichever friends you want to come, and ask them each to bring some food. It’ll just be food and talking, and maybe some wine. I’ve got a karaoke machine at home, I could bring it over and we could set that up. It’ll be fun!” “Really?” you asked. “You’d do that?” “Yeah, why not?” “I mean, it’s not like you like parties either…” “You’re my friend, Y/n. It’s not socially exhausting being with you.. The rest of them are my friends too. It’ll be just a hangout for us,” Winwin promised.

“Okay.”

Two weeks later, cars started pulling into the carpark near your apartment, and you watched the familiar cars on the street from your window. “They’re here!” you exclaimed, going into the kitchen where Winwin was removing the lasagna from the oven.

“Oh?” Winwin placed the lasagna on the table, just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Winwin let out a laugh at your jittery state as you hurried to the door to open it. Jaehyun stood there at the door, a bouquet in hand, with Joy by his side.

“Welcome! Come in, come in,” you told them, gratefully receiving the flowers. Winwin led them into the house as you went to find a vase for the flowers. Joy set the food down on the dining table, remarking that the lasagna smelled heavenly.

Slowly, the guests began to arrive, first Suzy, followed by Dokyeom shortly after. Johnny, the company manager, was among the last few to arrive, but he was easily forgiven by virtue of his dazzling smile and the expensive wine he had brought.

Once everyone had arrived, the plates were distributed and food was served. Over the hot, steaming meal, everyone shared their congratulations, and you received a number of compliments on the lasagna.

The conversation proceeded to take the direction of the musical you were currently practising for, and several jokes that you should end practice earlier were made, but Johnny shook his head and smiled knowingly (you all knew that meant practice could very well be extended instead of shortened).

Once the food was finished, Winwin headed to the living room to set up the karaoke machine, while the guests brought the soiled cutlery to the kitchen, where they placed it in the sink before visiting the washroom.

As they started heading towards the living room, the doorbell rang, and you furrowed your brows in confusion.

You made your way to the door, not bothering to look through the peephole before opening it. In front of you stood a young man about your age, his hair slightly dishevelled, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt.

“Who’s that?” Winwin called. When you continued to remain silent, he set down the microphone and went over to take a look.

“Hi,” the man said. “I’m Chenle, your neighbour. My family and I noticed there were some guests earlier, are you having a housewarming party?”

You swallowed your saliva and nodded hesitantly. “Yes. Sorry, were we being too loud? I can tell them to keep their noise level down.” Personally, though, you hadn’t thought that you had been noisy. Was your neighbour one of those people that could only function in absolute silence? “Oh no, no,” Chenle laughed, waving his hands in front of him to dispel the thought. “You haven’t been noisy at all. We just wanted to pass you some pizza—my family runs a pizzeria, you see—to say welcome to the neighbourhood! Our flat is just opposite yours,” he pointed.

“Oh, wow. Thank you!” you replied.

“It’s no problem. Well, I’ll be going. Enjoy your party! I’ll see you around.” Smiling, Chenle waved at you and went back home.

You turned to Winwin, shutting the door before you whisper-yelled, “He’s cute!”

Winwin rolled his eyes and pulled on your ear, ignoring your cry of pain. “Honestly. What goes on in your head?”

Before you could reply, a screech from the living room caused both of you to turn your heads. You burst out into laughter as you caught sight of Johnny attempting to belt out a high note, his face red with exertion. Your friends were gathered around him in a circle, legs crossed, with Johnny being the sole exception. He stood in the centre, fist clenched, bent over as he sang into the microphone—that is, if it could be considered singing.

Breathless, he handed the microphone over to Joy, who blessed your ears with her melodious voice, amidst the dying laughter. Dokyeom handed him a glass of water, and he gulped it down, leaning against the sofa with a dramatic sigh.

You brought the pizza with you as you and Winwin headed over, settling onto the carpet as the song continued to play.

Dokyeom raised his head, locking eyes with you. Once you were seated, he tilted his head towards the door. “What was that about?”

“My new neighbour.”

“He’s cute,” Dokyeom commented.

“I know!” you replied, rolling your eyes. Opening the pizza box, the smell of freshly cooked pizza filled the air, and you handed a slice to Joy, who was staring at the pizza hungrily.

“Want one?” Dokyeom nodded, and you handed him a slice, before biting into a slice of your own pizza. The gooey, cheesy slice melted in your mouth, and you sighed happily.

“I told Winwin that the guy was cute, but he brushed it off,” you tell Dokyeom.

“He probably doesn’t want you replacing him,” Dokyeom said. “Want a lollipop?”

You received it, sucking on it contemplatively. After a moment, you took it out of your mouth, reaching over to tap Winwin on the shoulder.

“You know I’d never replace you, right?”

Winwin’s brows knitted together in a moment of confusion, but that expression was quickly replaced by one of amusement. “I know.”

“Good.” You retracted your hand, leaning forward to squint at the lyrics as the microphone was passed to you.

As the night came to an end, your friends gathered up the empty containers strewn about, collecting their belongings. More than one of them downed a glass of water, proceeding to head to the bathroom afterwards.

You wiped down the table before sending your friends off, waving at each one of them in turn.

“Thank you for coming,” you repeated.

“Thank you for inviting us!” Suzy smiled.

“Tell us about that cute boy,” Dokyeom said with a wink, scurrying off before you could respond.

“What— Seokmin!” Winwin reached out to place a hand on your shoulder, and you turned to face him.

“Do you need help with anything else?”

You shook your head. “Go home and get some rest.”

Winwin gave you a quick hug, waved and left.

With a sigh, you plopped onto the couch, gaze trailing over the empty house. The exhaustion was just beginning to catch up to you, and you let out a tired yawn. You ran a tired hand through your hair, sweeping it out of the way as you went into the kitchen, taking up a wet sponge and squeezing out a bit of dish soap before scrubbing at the dirty dishes.

Once that was done, you wiped down the table, swept the floor, and threw all the trash into the bin. Then, you bagged your trash and took it out.

As you locked your door, you noticed a piece of paper hung to the doorknob by a string. You removed it, taking a look at the words written on it.

dear neighbour,

i realised i forgot to get your name! anyway, here’s my number so you can contact me whenever.

chenle

You pocketed the piece of paper, and as you passed by Chenle’s house, you smiled a little at the shoes neatly placed on the shoe rack—mostly sneakers—wondering which ones were his.

After taking out the trash, you took a long, hot shower, letting all the tiredness dissolve from your body. You blow dried your hair, clambered into bed, and looked at your phone, which was blowing up with pictures from the earlier party.

You sent a quick ‘thank you’ message, resolving to go through the photographs slowly the next day, and sent a text to Chenle instead.

unknown: hey chenle, this is y/n, your neighbour :)

He replied almost immediately.

chenle (cute boy next door): hey y/n! it’s quite late, get some rest first? i’d love to hear how you're settling in y/n (neighbour): yep, you too

Placing your phone on the nightstand to be charged, you soon drifted off to sleep.

Hands braced against the floor, you did two back walkovers while the music slowly trailed off. The last note faded as Dokyeom’s voice quietened.

“Halt!” The two of you turned to the direction of the sound, and you took a few tentative steps back until you were next to Dokyeom. Dressed in a shirt and jeans, Winwin wasn’t very intimidating, but his tall stature and serious expression made up for it.

The silence ensued for a few seconds before Winwin sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “Sorry. Line?”

The lights blinked on, and Johnny emerged at the foot of the stage. All eyes turned to him as he spoke, not loudly, but clear enough for his voice to travel.

“Alright, let’s take 5. Sicheng, you okay? Do you need to read your lines?”

Winwin nodded, then leapt down from the stage, grabbing his water bottle from one of the front row seats. He drank slowly before replacing his bottle and snatching up his script. The neon yellow highlights blurred as he shook out the script in frustration, flipping to the page he needed.

“Halt, what do you think you’re doing, you street rat?” he muttered, repeating it over and over again under his breath.

You sat on the edge of the stage with Dokyeom, catching your breath. You took a swig of water and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. Dokyeom nudged you, and you turned to face him. “Hm?”

“How are you getting home? Is Sicheng still going to drop you off?” When you lived with your parents, you would always carpool with Winwin, since your house was on the way home for him.

You shook your head. Since moving house, it was no longer convenient for Winwin to drop you off. “Suzy offered to drop me off,” you told Dokyeom.

Dokyeom nodded. “That’s good. It isn’t safe to make your way home alone when it’s dark.”

“I know, Mum.” Dokyeom rolled his eyes at the jab. Checking his watch, he got to his feet, extending an arm to help you up. You took his hand and he pulled you to your feet with ease, the two of you setting your bottles down out of the way before assuming your places again.

Winwin hurried up the steps to the stage, eyes scouring the floor for the yellow crosses that demarcated his spot, and heading into the wing just next to it.

Johnny clapped his hands thrice, the loud sound resounding throughout the studio. “Ok everybody, breaktime is up! Let’s get back to rehearsing.”

The rehearsal ended at 10pm, which meant it was already 11 when you stepped out of the elevator at your floor. You were slightly delirious from the lack of sleep, having stayed up late the night before to tidy up your house. Rocking on your heels, you pressed a hand to your temples to ease the headache building up behind your eyes, taking a few steps forward.

Walking proved to be a challenge, as your foot came into contact with an obstacle. Blinking your bloodshot eyes, you identified the obstacle as a delivery box.

Several delivery boxes, in fact. No less than 10 delivery boxes were strewn across the corridor between your apartment and Chenle’s. You shut your eyes for a brief moment of reprieve, and when you opened them again, the boxes remained.

So you weren’t hallucinating. Frowning, you slowly weaved your way between the cardboard boxes. At your door, you braced one hand against the door frame as you removed your shoes, placing them on the rack and locking the door behind you.

You contemplated asking Chenle to move the boxes, but it was late and you didn’t intend to disturb him. You hadn’t actually seen him for the whole day, you realised. Perhaps his working hours and yours didn’t overlap.

y/n (neighbour): pls move ur delivery boxes 🙏

Not long after sending the text, you drifted off to sleep.

You woke the next morning to banging against your door. Concerned, you flipped your phone screen up, only to realise that it wasn’t even noon yet. With a long, drawn out groan, you rubbed your eyes as you slid into your slippers and padded across the room.

You pulled the door open, stifling a yawn, seeing your friends outside.

“It’s too early for this,” you mumbled, heading back inside before they could say anything. Dokyeom hurried inside after you, yelling for you to hurry as you disappeared into the toilet.

You emerged from the bathroom, dangling your earrings against your earlobes as you looked at yourself in the mirror, deciding which accessories fit your outfit best.

Dokyeom stood by the door with his arms crossed, shouting, “Hurry up! We’ve got to get there before they break for lunch!”

You groaned, putting the other sets of earrings back into the drawer and slipping the ones you'd chosen into your piercings. You pulled your socks on in a hurry, not even bothering to put your shoes on properly as you rushed out after your friends. Your fingers slipped a couple of times as you tried to insert the key into the keyhole, until you finally managed it, while Joy yelled at you from inside the elevator to move quickly.

You rushed into the elevator, kneeling to tie your shoelaces and put your shoes on properly. Then it hit you.

"What kind of lunch place closes during lunch time?"

Dokyeom scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, about that... I kind of just said the first thing that came to mind that I thought would make you hurry, and it worked, didn't it?"

"Seokmin! Ah, never mind. It's fine." You stood up properly, adjusting the strap of your shoulder bag as you followed your friends out. You got in Jaehyun's car, with Dokyeom navigating in the passenger seat.

The ride wasn't long, and you pulled up to a deserted building, with "One Minute Pizza (一分钟披萨饼)" written in a deep shade of red.

You stepped out of the car, followed by Joy and Dokyeom, while Jaehyun drove off to find a parking lot in the carpark. Dokyeom took the lead and you followed behind him as he headed to the counter to look at the menu.

"Chenle?"

To your surprise, one of the workers at the counter taking orders was none other than the neighbour you had messaged the night before.

His expression remained friendly, the customer-service smile fixed upon his face as he finished attending to the customer in front of you. As you and your friends moved forward, he caught sight of you, breaking into a genuine smile.

“Y/n! Welcome, what can I get you?”

Dokyeom launched into his order, ordering enough pizzas for all of you to share. Joy would be stealing everyone else’s food anyway, so Dokyeom didn’t bother ordering anything for her. Once he was done ordering, Chenle repeated the order back to him, and Dokyeom took the receipt and went to sit down.

You lingered a little while longer, standing by the side so the next customer in line could move forward. After calling out the order to the kitchen, Chenle looked at you, eyes rolling up as he recalled something. “Oh, right! I moved the boxes. Did you get my text?”

You glanced at your phone, realising that you had several unread texts. You clicked on the one from Chenle, which read:

chenle (cute boy next door): mb 😓😓 just cleared them!

“Yeah, I did! Thanks for that, by the way.”

“No problem. My mum has a bit of a consumption problem, so the delivery boxes are a common hazard. Just let me know next time, and I'll move it for you, yeah? Don't want you to trip and fall.”

“Okay.”

Chenle smiled, apologising to the customer for the wait before taking their order.

Jaehyun joined you as you walked to your table, nudging your shoulder and whispering conspiratorially, “Who’s that?”

“My neighbour.”

“Oh, the cute one?” You whipped your head, hair smacking into your forehead. You brushed your bangs out of your eyes as you gaped at Jaehyun, mortified.

“You heard that?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “You were speaking about it with Dokyeom while you were sitting right behind me. It wasn't hard to overhear."

"Jae!"

Jaehyun grinned, sitting down opposite you, half his ass off the chair as he squeezed in next to Joy, stuffing a slice of pizza in his mouth. His voice was muffled as he said something about you being one of the most obvious people he'd ever met.

Joy leaned forward, elbows propped up on the table, chin resting on her hands as she darted her eyes pointedly in Chenle's direction. "So, what's the plan?"

"What plan?"

Dokyeom squinted at you, brows furrowed. "Y/n, please don't tell me you're that dense." When you continued staring blankly at him, he pulled away with a sigh. "I guess you are. The plan to make Chenle your boyfriend, of course."

You choked on your drink, coughing violently while Dokyeom patted your back. Sputtering, you turned to face the culprit, who only looked at you innocently.

"Lee Seokmin!" you whisper-yelled. "Can you please not say that while he's right there?"

Dokyeom nodded appeasingly and waved a hand at the food. "Okay, okay. Go on and eat, we're actually going to be late if you're slow."

You checked your watch and scarfed down the pizza. However, Joy, who had already finished eating, had other priorities. Leaning back, she crossed her arms and said seriously, "I personally think you should find out if they have neighbours’ meetings. It'd be great in helping you assimilate into the community, while also getting to know a certain someone a little better."

Between bites of food, you considered this proposition before deciding that it wouldn't do you any harm. You nodded to acknowledge Joy's suggestion, before you finally finished eating and everyone stood up to return the trays while you wiped your mouth clean with a napkin.

"So," you started, while the four of you briskly made your way to the car, "I'll do what Joy says and update you all once I've done it."

Jaehyun let out a laugh. "Why do you make it sound so serious?"

You frowned, offended, but your conversation was interrupted when you locked eyes with Chenle, who smiled and waved at you. You waved back happily, a happy glow settling on your cheeks.

“Dear God,” Jaehyun groaned. “He’s already making you delusional.”

You swatted him, and he quickly amended, "Not delusional! A perfectly sane human who will be telling us all about their attempts to gain Chenle’s love!”

You harrumphed, taking long steps with your legs straightened out, until Joy wrapped her hands around you and laughed joyfully. “Come now, Y/n! They're just teasing.”

You stuck your tongue out the side of your mouth and glared at Jaehyun. He shrugged uselessly and you finally relented.

“Fine, I’ll tell you all about it. If anything happens.”

“When anything happens, you mean. Have some faith in Joy’s plan,” Dokyeom interjected, winking at Joy.

She grinned back at him and you rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

The studio was warm with the body heat radiating off the few of you piled up on each other, limbs strewn out in a tangled fashion, heads resting on anything soft you could find. Your head was buried deep within your sweater, which you had laid upon the wooden floor, and Winwin was snuggled up into your side. Somewhere, Suzy and Dokyeom were also lying among the scripts and pens lying on the floor, heads supported by their forearms and each other’s legs.

Nobody dared to move much—if they did, they might tickle whoever they were leaning on, and if they breathed too deeply, the person lying on them might shift away. Anyway, everyone was too tired to move much, mouthing their own lines to themselves, occasionally thumbing to the next page or groaning in frustration. You propped your elbows up and struggled into a half-sitting, half-lying down position, glancing over at Johnny, who was speaking to one of the stage crew while gesturing wildly to the stack of props next to them.

Joy awakened from her nap, rubbing her eyes as she looked around. “What time is it?” she asked, spotting you as the only one who wasn’t busy with something else.

“5.50,” you replied. Joy nodded, pulling her shoes back on, before tucking her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket and getting to her feet.

She walked over from her corner of the room to your spot on the floor, crashing next to you, causing Winwin to look up at the sound, eyes rolling up. Joy waved at him and smiled.

Winwin smiled back, rolling over onto his stomach as he surveyed the studio. He rubbed his hands together, then pressed the back of his palm against your neck, and you shuddered at how cold he was.

His body was warm, but his fingers weren’t, so you passed him the sweater that you had been lying on, and he buried his hands within it to gain some of the warmth you had transferred to it.

Your phone buzzed as you clambered to your feet. You pulled it out from your pocket, mouth widening in shock when you read the message.

“Joy,” you whispered urgently, tugging on her sleeve, “What does it mean when someone says they have a surprise for you?”

Joy let out a sharp, delighted gasp. “What?” Her shocked reply pulled Dokyeom out of his trance, and your friends gathered around your phone while Winwin stretched his legs out, a short distance away, weight resting on his palms as he watched you with an amused smile playing on his lips, head tilted to one side.

Joy skimmed through the messages quickly, her smile fading when she finished reading all of them. “I don’t think it means much, since he said his friend bought it for him. It kind of sounds like he’s just using you so he doesn’t feel guilty about letting the gift go to waste.”

“Ah,” you sighed, disappointed. “So it’s nothing special?”

Joy shrugged. “I mean, he’s giving you something, and that means he at least remembers you and is friendly towards you.”

“Can’t take care of these kinds of things well?” Dokyeom interjected, reading off the message, and you smiled inwardly at how delayed his reaction was. “What, is he giving you some kind of living organism or something?”

“... Shit.” You pressed your hand to your forehead. “You don't think he got me a plant, do you?”

Nervous laughter escaped Joy’s lips, shortly followed by Suzy’s full-on chortling. Soon, the sound of laughter in the room was so loud that you could barely hear Johnny calling for the actors to come back to the centre. That was, until his voice, amplified by the microphone strapped to his body, clearly enunciated, “Lee Dokyeom and company, if you’re not over here in one minute, you can all kiss goodbye to your current roles.”

The laughter soon died down to smothered giggles as you ran over to the sides of the studio that you were starting on, Jaehyun nudging you as you rehearsed your lines by the side. “Didn’t you kill the bean sprouts you tried to grow in elementary school?”

You rolled your eyes. Ever since Winwin had given you a plant for your birthday and your parents had let slip that you were notoriously bad at taking care of anything living, including yourself, your friends had never let you live it down.

“Yes, Jae, that’s old news. Shouldn’t there be other things for you to think about right now? Say, like making sure you don’t accidentally start rapping your lines?”

Jaehyun groaned. “That was one time, Y/n–“

Before he could say any more, you were scurrying into the middle, one hand on Dokyeom’s shoulder as you bounced on the balls of your feet. You pretended to lose balance, falling forward into a front roll, and Dokyeom rushed forward, peering over the half-completed balcony prop.

“Abu!”

You got to your feet, dramatically dusting off your shoulders before grinning widely at Dokyeom, head cheekily cocked to one side before you leapt back behind the balcony prop.

All thoughts of Chenle were soon pushed to the back of your mind as you immersed yourself in the role.

Those thoughts never left the back of your mind, however, and they still plagued you as you sipped the ice-cold water from the water cooler and swirled your noodles around, taking slow bites while Suzy ate contentedly.

“You okay?”

You shrugged, forcing yourself to take another bite before looking at the empty bowl and sighing heavily. Rehearsal had ended earlier than expected, and it was barely 10pm, yet you felt more tired than usual.

“I guess I’m just a little tired of life.”

Suzy raised her eyebrows, reaching over to hug you wordlessly. When she pulled away, her hand remained on your shoulder as she made eye contact with you. Each word she said was intentional and carefully enunciated as she told you, “That’s normal. We all get a little tired of life sometimes, especially when we’re nearing a big production and hours are long, making it easy for us to lose sight of what the goal is. Just remember that you have us—” she gestured vaguely in the direction of the empty studio—“and that we’re always here for you.”

You nodded, slumping against the table and burying your head in your hands. “It’s just– I want to love and be loved, you know? And it’s so hard to do that in this day and age.”

Suzy smiled ruefully and hummed in understanding. “I know it’s tough. I won’t lie and say it gets better, but at some point we all figure out something that works for us. Just hang in there for a while, you’ll find your way too.”

Her words hung in your mind the entire ride home, even as you stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for your floor. You took advantage of the short elevator ride to take a break, shutting your eyes until the “ding” sound of the elevator doors opening called you back to reality. 

You were greeted by a potted plant sitting next to your shoe rack when you came up to your door, and you slipped your shoes off and picked up the plant, pushing open the door to your house. You set the plant down on your dining table, glad that there was a plate underneath to prevent the water from leaking onto your floor.

You left the plant there while you went to wash up, and came back afterwards with your phone in hand.

Sitting at the table, you turned the plant around aimlessly, contemplating what to do with this “surprise” your neighbour had given you with pure intentions. A white sticker caught your attention, and you began to search up the name, looking up what kind of care it needed. Fortunately for you, it was a succulent and fairly low maintenance; although you knew that you were still perfectly capable of killing it.

You decided to put it on your window sill, where it was sure to get plenty of direct sunlight while you were fast asleep, and watered it sparingly. You sat at the table, admiring the view of the plant anyone else would have if they were to step foot inside the house, a smile breaking out across your face.

You caught yourself, shocked at how quickly you had come to accept the gift, despite your earlier protests about owning a plant.

Before you could think any better of it, you were dialling Winwin’s number.

He picked up the video call, groggily wiping at his half-closed eyes. “Honestly, Y/n, have you ever heard of this thing called ‘sleeping’? It’s really good. You should try it.”

“I have a succulent. On my window sill. And I'm happy thinking about how it’ll look every time I come home.”

“Wow,” Winwin drawled. “What a tragedy.”

“I’m serious, Sicheng. I’ve never managed to keep a plant alive before. But the moment Chenle gives me one, I'm staying up late trying to figure out how best to take care of it. Do you know how terrifying that is?”

Winwin rubbed his face tiredly. “Do you need me to come over? You sound like you’re having a crisis.”

You shook your head. “No, can you just… Stay on the call with me?”

Winwin nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

A moment of silence ensued before he asked, “So, what’s up? Suzy told me you were feeling a little tired of life.”

You shrugged. “I don't know, I'm just… thinking a lot, I guess. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship.”

Three years, to be exact. Your high school sweetheart had lasted all of four years before deciding halfway through university that your “high commitment to theatre” made it “impossible” for the two of you to work out.

Since then, you had never been in a relationship, though not for lack of trying—you simply had high standards that were difficult to meet, and all your previous dates had barely met the bare minimum. Once, you had jokingly suggested that you and Winwin date, but he had turned down the offer without blinking. In hindsight, dating within the troupe would have been messy whether or not the two of you broke up.

“Y/n,” Winwin called, pulling you out of your stupor.

You blinked at him. “Yeah?”

“Nothing. Just, talk to me, yeah? You know I can’t read your mind.”

You nodded. “I know. I was just thinking.”

“We’ve discussed this. If you want to talk to me, you’re going to actually have to talk. You can't just be silent and expect me to understand.”

“Can't we just sit in silence for a while?” you asked pleadingly.

Winwin shook his head. “You know what comes from sitting in silence. Those thoughts in your head never go silent, do they? You’re going to have to voice them aloud for me to know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m just wondering if I really like Chenle, or if I’m seeking out love to the point that I mistake any form of human interaction outside of our group as a potential romantic relationship.”

Winwin’s gaze softened. “I think you’re being paranoid. Your feelings are completely valid, don't discredit them like that. Why don't you just wait it out and see? There’s no harm in getting to know him better.”

“But you know me, Sicheng. You know I’m scared to commit. I'm scared to lead him on and then dip when he reciprocates.”

Winwin smiled ruefully. “Haven’t you ever heard of facing your fears? You’re good at stepping out of your comfort zone. What changed?”

You shrugged, playing with the hem of your shirt. You stood from your spot in the dining area, making your way into the bedroom, where you snuggled under the covers as Winwin watched you expectantly.

“I guess you’re right. There’s no harm in getting to know him better. I am planning to stay in this place for a long while.”

Winwin grinned. “That’s the Y/n I know. Get some sleep, you’re going to have to talk to Chenle tomorrow.”

You frowned, mouth opening to ask what he meant, but you were too slow. As always, Winwin was one step ahead, hanging up before you could say anything.

sicheng: don't think i’ve forgotten about your promise to execute joy’s plan sicheng: i'll make sure you carry it out tmrw

You sighed. You weren’t sure whether to be grateful to have a friend like Winwin.

It was drizzling when you stepped out of the elevator, a light breeze blowing into the lift lobby. Other than the quiet whistle of the wind, everything else was silent—just how you liked it.

You took your time taking off your shoes, leisurely unlocking your door, when you heard the click of someone else’s lock and the sound of a door opening. You turned around, only to see Chenle dressed in a hoodie and shorts, his tousled hair obscuring his face.

He ran a hand through his messy hair, barely managing to tame it, when he finally looked up from his feet to you. His slippers remained forgotten on the shoe rack by the door as you made eye contact, breathing out a soft “oh”.

Chenle froze, hand groping about for the doorknob, then deciding to forget about it and slipping his feet into a pair of slippers. He stepped away from the door frame, shutting the gate behind him, and jerking his head at you.

“Just got back?”

“Yeah.” There was a pause while you contemplated asking Chenle if he was drunk, but he answered your question before it was even out of your mouth.

“I’m sober, by the way. Just hungry. I was going to head out to the store nearby to get some noodles, do you wanna come?”

You looked down at yourself, then back at the open door, into the empty apartment where there was nothing waiting for you anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to go with Chenle, right?

“Sure.”

Both of you stopped just before exiting the apartment building, opening your umbrellas as you stepped out into the rain, one after another, The wind had picked up, and the rain was starting to grow heavier, blowing into your face.

Chenle tugged the hood of his jacket up, cocking his head to one side. You followed him, staying silent on the walk there until Chenle spoke up.

“So, what’s your job? Do you often end this late?”

You side-stepped to avoid stepping into a puddle, not looking up as you replied, “I’m an actor.”

“You act in movies?”

You shook your head, then remembered he probably couldn’t see you with it being so dark outside. “I’m preparing for a musical.”

Chenle came to an abrupt halt, and you stopped walking, tearing your eyes away from his worn trainers to meet his eyes. You tried not to think too hard about the amusement in his black eyes, or the way it made them sparkle just a little, even with the sky being pitch black all around you.

“SorryIwasbusylookingatyourshoes,” you mumbled, all in a rush.

“What?” Chenle leaned in, and you took two frantic steps backwards.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said!” you yelled, then covered your mouth immediately. Nothing was going to plan!

Chenle let out a chuckle and you glanced at him, trying to decipher the look in his eyes as he smiled at you. “Am I making you nervous?”

“No.” You tried not to let your voice waver when you repeated it. “No, I’m not nervous. What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really talk to people much unless they’re customers, or when I’m playing on the court. It’s been a while since I’ve had a conversation. I didn’t want to cross a line, so let me know if anything I’m doing is making you nervous.”

“You’re not– you’re not making me nervous, Chenle. I’m fine.”

Chenle’s lip curled up slightly. “You remembered my name.”

“Yeah.”

Chenle started walking again, and you matched his pace, trying not to think too hard about what was coming out of your mouth, or why he might have gone silent.

“What kind of noodles do you like?”

You frowned, trying to think of all the noodles you had ever tried. Winwin had definitely taken you out to some Chinese restaurants before, but the only thing you remembered was that noodles were “mien”, which wasn’t helpful in your current situation at all.

“Um, I’ll eat any kind? Chow mien, maybe?”

“Chǎo miàn,” Chenle repeated, and you weren’t sure if he was correcting you. “Yeah, I can do that. That just means fried noodles, though. What kind of noodles do you want me to fry?”

“Oh, uh–“ you stuttered anxiously. “I’m not– I’m not really sure? I’m fine with whatever, really.” I don’t know what the names of the different noodles are, and I don’t want to sound like an idiot in front of you, you added to yourself.

“Okay. Lā miàn it is, then.”

You repeated it softly to yourself under your breath, and were surprised when Chenle corrected your pronunciation. You hadn’t expected him to have such keen hearing, nor had you expected him to actually care about how you pronounced it. Winwin had never really cared; you thought that he had probably given up a while back, after hopelessly trying to get you to say “nǐ hǎo” for one of the jokes he had made to you.

Chenle was quite the opposite.

He was extremely persistent, to the point that it should have been annoying, but you were honestly just happy that the conversation wasn’t dying down.

While he led you through the noodle aisle, confidently making his way to where the lā miàn was, he pointed out the other kinds of noodles, making you practise saying the name of each one before he moved on. By the time he finally reached the lā miàn boxes, you were on the verge of snatching a box of uncooked noodles off the shelves and dragging Chenle out, just so he would stop criticising the way you struggled to pronounce the tones.

As Chenle scanned the noodles, you finally mustered up the courage to ask, “Chenle, do you guys have neighbourly meetings?”

“What?” he replied, distractedly tapping one of the options on the screen and tapping his card to pay for the noodles. He tore the receipt off, barely looking at it as he folded it and put it in his pocket, before turning his attention to you. “What are neighbourly meetings?”

“You know, like when you meet up with your neighbours and, I don’t know, discuss stuff pertaining to your apartment flats, or maybe just play pool?”

Chenle raised an eyebrow. “Did you have that in your previous building?” he asked, walking out. You weren’t far behind, inwardly letting out a sigh of relief when you noticed that the rain had lightened up.

“…no?”

Chenle let out a laugh that had your heart pounding in your chest, youthful and genuine, and you wondered why you had never seen him outside with his friends. If you were his friend, you would want to spend every waking second with him, just to hear his cheerful laughter and infectious joy.

“Then what makes you think we would have it?”

“I don’t know.” You decided not to tell him that Joy had suggested it, and you had never really stopped to consider if it was something that people even implemented anymore.

“I guess we do have something similar, but we haven’t held them in a while. We call them ‘Fifth Floor Film Fridays’, or F4 for short.”

“Sounds a little cringe, don’t you think?”

“Hey, watch your words. I came up with the name.”

“My bad. Didn’t know you were cool like that,” you said, tucking the handle of your umbrella under your armpit so you could raise both hands in a gesture of surrender.

“Thanks. Anyway, Renjun came up with the idea so we could speak to Jisung, since he had just moved into the flat at the time. You know how each floor only has four flats? Well, Renjun and I lived in two of the flats, and there was an old man living in yours. He used to give us candy when he saw us coming back from school,” Chenle reminisced.

“He always had his door open, with only the gate closed as he sat on his rocking chair and read the newspaper. He passed away a year ago, and his children have been trying to sell the flat for a while before you bought it. Either way, at the time the only other kid on our floor was Jisung, but he was shy and kind of awkward and always looked the other way when we saw him in the corridors in school.”

You couldn’t imagine what that would be like. If Chenle ever tried to speak to you in high school, you were sure that you would eagerly reciprocate his energy, even if you were later teased by your friends about it.

“So, Renjun and I talked loudly about F4 when we passed by him one day, and I pretended to remember that Jisung lived on our floor too, and ‘conveniently’ asked him to join.”

“…and it worked?”

“Of course! We just haven’t had them in a while, since, you know, we were all in university. But Renjun and I have both graduated, and Jisung’s never been one for studying, so I’m sure I could tell them to make time this Friday.”

When you didn’t reply, Chenle added, “You’re free then, right?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I am,” you lied. You weren’t sure if Johnny would let you take the time off, but you were sure if you tried to beg, you could probably pull it off.

“Then it’s set,” Chenle said, unlocking his door. You left your shoes outside by the door, padding softly across the floor, too scared to make any noise. Chenle locked the door, then pressed his index finger to his lips in a shushing motion, leading you into the kitchen.

He turned the light on, glancing at the bedroom door, presumably to ensure that his parents hadn’t woken up.

“You can just take a seat,” he told you, taking cutlery and two bowls from the cupboards. You took them from him, setting them on the dining table while he retrieved the various ingredients for the fried noodles and set a pot of water on the stove to boil.

“Last time I cooked for someone else, I was trying to impress someone I had over,” he said, conversationally.

“Oh yeah? How did that work out?”

He shook his head with a quiet laugh. “It didn’t. I just felt the need to cook for them because they only ever came to the family pizzeria to see me, and they would always compliment me on the pizza, but I don’t actually make those. I just collate orders and tell my parents what the customers want.”

Rolling his eyes, he continued, “So obviously, it hurt my ego that they didn’t know all about my cooking prowess. And because I’m so painfully Chinese, of course I subjected them to all the Chinese vegetable dishes my parents made for me growing up. They barely touched any of it because, as it turned out, they didn’t like eating their vegetables.”

“What were they, five?” you scoffed.

Chenle grinned. “I know, right? My parents told me not to invite anyone else who couldn’t eat the food I cooked after that.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I don’t like your cooking?”

Chenle smiled threateningly. “I’ll kick you out without hesitation.”

“It’s good that I’m not picky, then.” You stood up from your chair, walking over to watch Chenle strain the hot noodles and cool them down with ice before tossing what felt like random sauces into the pan and stir-frying the noodles.

“Can I help?”

Chenle hummed. “Not really. I mean, you’re still a guest.”

“Okay.” You watched him from a safe distance, stepping aside when he turned off the fire to allow him to walk towards the dining table and scoop half of the noodles into each bowl.

“Enjoy.”

You picked up your chopsticks, clicking them twice before thanking Chenle for the food and taking a bite.

Chenle, for all his bravado, didn’t move to take a bite until a smile broke out on your face, and he looked visibly relieved when you didn’t criticise his cooking. He began to eat his own noodles, not forgetting to compliment himself, and you agreed with raised eyebrows and a sigh. 

Afterwards, he walked you to the door, waiting until you had closed the door behind you to return into his own house, beginning to wash the dishes.

Meanwhile, you stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror with shampoo running down your neck, wondering how the hell you had ended up eating stir-fried noodles at Chenle’s place at midnight.

Once out of the bathroom, though, you had come to terms with the fact that it was a real thing that had happened, and not just some kind of hallucination. When your hair was dry, you lay down in bed, burying your face into your pillow and screaming.

Then, before you could think too much about it, you resolved to go to sleep.

Blocking was your worst enemy. It always had been for someone like you, who always forgot that the stage had limited space and you all had to move around while being aware of each others’ presence.

You did a cartwheel for what felt like the hundredth time, wobbling on your feet as you tried to regain your balance, hand pressed to your forehead in an attempt to ease the headache caused by the blood rushing to your brain. Johnny glared at you and you realised that you were half a metre away from where you were supposed to be. Still dizzy from the amount of time you had spent upside down, you took a few shaky steps to the yellow cross demarcating the spot you were supposed to be in.

“Stop, let’s take 5. Y/n, you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I just can't do it full-out, my hands are shaking,” you told him softly, holding your hands out for him to see that they were trembling.

Johnny took one long, hard look at you and shook his head. “You’re taking tomorrow evening off.”

“What?”

“We’re all taking tomorrow evening off, in fact. Let’s make it a long weekend.”

Still confused, you stared at him as he announced it to everyone, gesturing for you to drink water. You came back right after, tapping Johnny on the shoulder as you asked, “Why are we having a long weekend?”

Johnny smiled warmly. “I forget you guys are still young sometimes. You shouldn’t be spending your early 20s burning yourselves out like this. Get some rest, watch a movie or something.”

“That’s what he said,” you told Joy, who had just asked how you managed to get Johnny to call Friday evening off. She smiled, hugging her knees close to her chest as she looked at you.

“He really has a soft spot for the younger ones,” she mused. “So, how are you spending your Friday off? Any plans?”

You laughed softly, thinking about how you’d asked Chenle if there were any neighbours’ meetings you could attend. “I do, actually. Turns out my neighbours do this thing called ‘Fifth Floor Film Fridays’ sometimes.”

“Tacky name,” Joy commented.

“Chenle came up with it.”

“Ah. Then it’s tasteful.”

You let out a snort. “No need for the switch-up. I thought it was pretty tacky too. But that’s not important, what’s important is that I'm going over to his house tonight for it.”

Joy leaned forward, a glimmer in her eyes as she said, “Run it by me. What you’re bringing, what time you’re going to be there, who’s going to be there. Tell me all about it.”

Later that night, you were holding down the lid of your frying pan while you popped the corn kernels you had just bought in a pan full of butter, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t end in catastrophe.

After what seemed like forever, the timer on your phone finally rang, and you removed the lid triumphantly, tossing the popcorn around so they wouldn’t stick to the pan. Luckily, the method you had used seemed to work, and you only had to throw out a small amount of unpopped kernels while pouring the popcorn into an open container for it to cool down.

You washed the pan and checked out your outfit in the mirror one last time before spraying a mild perfume on your wrists and pressing them against the sides of your neck.

Carrying the container of popcorn and precariously balancing a pack of sour strips on top of it, you pressed the doorbell to Chenle’s house, wondering if anyone else had arrived yet.

Your question was quickly answered by the man sitting in the living room, barely visible from the door when Chenle opened it and greeted you with a smile, but perfectly audible as he spelled the name of the movie aloud.

You entered the apartment cautiously, feeling unexpectedly nervous, but your fears were soon eased when you made eye contact with the man sitting on the sofa. He paused his struggle with the remote for a second while trailing his gaze up and down your figure, before breaking out into a smile.

“Hi, I'm Renjun.”

“Hi, Renjun. Do you need help with the TV? Oh, I’m Y/n, by the way.”

“I know,” he replied cryptically. “Chenle’s mentioned you before.”

You looked at Chenle in surprise, and he stared back at you. “What? I had to explain why I suddenly wanted to revive F4.”

Right. So that was all it was. Nothing to overthink about, you reminded yourself. You found a seat on the sofa, holding your hand out for the remote, and Renjun grudgingly handed it to you. “I can do it myself, you know.”

“Oh, I know. I just thought I’d help and speed up the process a little,” you quipped. Chenle let out a high-pitched giggle, squeezing between Renjun and the armrest, teasingly nudging his friend.

“Y/n’s calling you slow,” he said, as if Renjun hadn’t already gotten it. The latter rolled his eyes and rested his chin against his hand in a bored fashion, while you triumphantly displayed the movie that Renjun had been trying to find.

The doorbell rang again, and Renjun got up from the sofa that time, warmly hugging Jisung as he entered.

The tall, lanky man followed Renjun into the house, shutting the door behind him and giving Chenle a wave. Catching sight of you, he stopped in his tracks, tugging on Renjun’s shirt and mouthing, Is that Y/n?

Renjun nodded, almost imperceptibly, and you cracked a smile at their silent exchange. “Yes, Jisung, I'm Y/n. Nice to meet you.” You extended a hand to him, and the introverted man hesitantly took a few steps forward before taking your hand and shaking it.

Jisung set the grapes he had brought down on the table, mouth widening as he caught sight of the packet of candy. “Sour strips? Those are my favourite,” he gushed, reaching one hand out for them. “Can I open them? Who brought these?”

“Yeah, sure, you can open them.”

Jisung turned his big-eyed stare to you, and you found yourself melting in his gaze. “You brought it?”

You nodded, and Jisung raised a palm to cover his mouth. “Ah, really! Thanks.”

You nodded to acknowledge him, and Renjun stood up to turn the lights off, while Chenle turned the television on. Somehow, with all the movement going on, you ended up in the centre of the sofa, wedged between Jisung on your left and Chenle on your right, while Renjun sat on the right-most with his elbow propped up on the arm rest. 

With the cosy atmosphere and the lights turned down low, it was easy for you to forget that you barely knew the other neighbours, leaning forward while stuffing popcorn into your mouth, fully invested in the storyline. You almost forgot that the others weren’t your group of friends, who liked to talk loudly during the movie about the cinematic lighting or the expressions the actors made.

When you made a comment about the delivery of a specific line, Renjun turned to glare at you, but stopped when he saw the way Chenle watched you. A delighted smile on his lips, he watched your expressions like it was more entertaining than the movie, only turning his attention back to the screen once you stopped speaking.

Renjun tapped his finger against his chin, observing you more carefully.

You weren’t making a lot of physical contact with either of the men seated on either side of you, but you were very vocal, unafraid to voice every thought that crossed your mind aloud. You easily matched Chenle’s energy, nodding seriously and fuelling him whenever he started talking about one of the scenes, even when he got to the point that usually Jisung would sigh and smile exasperatedly, reaching out to place a hand over Chenle’s mouth to shut him up.

When this continued for an hour straight, it became too much for Jisung to bear. With a soft cry of frustration, he ran his hands through his hair, scrunching it up in irritation before he stood and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Renjun rose from the sofa not long after, following Jisung’s lead into the kitchen.

In a hushed whisper, Renjun spoke to Jisung. “Do you see what’s going on out there?”

“It’s like there’s two of them,” Jisung complained. “We should never have said yes to tonight.”

“No,” Renjun replied. “That’s not the important part. Have you seen how Chenle looks at them?”

Jisung cocked his head in confusion. “No?”

“He looks at them like they're glowing, or something like that. He’s infatuated! I’ve never seen him let someone else speak without trying to interrupt them constantly to say his piece before. It’s almost like he agrees with everything they're saying.”

“Which is impossible, because Chenle never agrees with anyone,” Jisung gasped in realisation. “Do you think there’s something wrong with him?”

“What? No! Ugh, you’re so clueless.”

Jisung pouted, and Renjun folded immediately. “Fine, you’re not clueless. I think Chenle likes Y/n, whether he knows it or not.” Renjun stuck his head out, peeking at the two sitting on the sofa, then nodded to reaffirm his point.

“So… what are we going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Renjun sighed, with a roll of his eyes, “That’s how good dramas play out. Sometimes, you’ve got to let the characters figure out what to do on their own. Has our interference ever helped Chenle get into a relationship?”

Jisung opened his mouth to say yes.

“A long-lasting one,” Renjun hastily amended. Jisung reconsidered each time they had tried to set Chenle up with someone, including the disastrous last time when the person they were trying to set Chenle up with only liked Italian food, and never ate any sort of vegetables.

Jisung slowly shook his head.

“Exactly. Let’s just leave them alone this one time, okay? We’ve got to have a little faith in Chenle.”

Almost as if hearing his name, Chenle looked up from the sofa, eyebrows furrowing as he caught sight of his two friends standing in the kitchen and whispering to each other.

He raised one hand, beckoning his friends back, and they set down their glasses and went back to join the two sitting in the living room.

Noting that you were still absorbed in the movie, Chenle leaned over to Renjun and murmured, “What was that all about?”

Renjun shrugged innocently. “I was just asking Jisung how his last year was.”

“I want to know too, why did you guys have to go over there and act like it’s a secret or something?”

“Once the movie is over, we can talk all about it, ok? I want to hear about Y/n too.”

“Deal.” Chenle raised his pinky, and Renjun reluctantly took it, hooking his pinky with Chenle’s.

“Did you never grow up?”

“Nope,” Chenle said cheerfully.

A feeling of dread began to overcome Chenle as he saw you stumbling into his family’s pizzeria with nothing but a six pack of beer and your phone, collapsing at a table near the counter. Business was slow at 9am on a Wednesday, especially since they had just opened, and Chenle found himself swearing under his breath before walking over and sitting down opposite you.

You cracked open your first can of beer, sipping slowly at it while staring straight at Chenle, who couldn’t be bothered to hide his disgust.

“Seriously? It’s 9am on a weekday. What’s got you like this?”

“You forget that my sleep schedule is royally fucked, so this is basically 3am to me,” you told him, one finger pointing vaguely at him.

“And that gives you the right to come in here and drink to your heart’s content? I’m not having you sitting around here drunk. It’s bad for business.”

You smiled bitterly. “What business? The place is empty anyway. I'll be sober before lunchtime, don't worry. The alcohol content in the beer is pretty low, and I still have to go to work after this.”

You managed to gulp down an entire can, cracking open a new one, before Chenle sighed and took the rest away from you.

“Seriously, Y/n, what’s wrong?”

“It’s not about my ex,” you said immediately. “I’m well and truly over him.”

Chenle couldn’t help the pang of jealousy he felt, but he squashed it down, gritting his teeth and saying, “Don't care. Didn’t ask. Don't answer my question with a negative.”

“I can't tell you who it’s about,” you said. “It would be mad embarrassing.”

“You must still be somewhat sober then,” Chenle muttered. “Can I leave you?”

“No.” You grabbed his wrist, and he promptly sat back down. “Don't go. I'll tell you.”

“Okay.”

“It’s about me, selfishly.”

“It’s not selfish to have problems,” Chenle said, trying to comfort you, but you waved it off.

“Don't interrupt. I didn’t ask for your opinion.” Chenle shut up pretty quickly when you said that, so you continued, “I had this conversation a while back with Sicheng. Told him I was scared I was just looking for romance, and that a crush I thought I had was just me trying to push myself into a relationship. But now it’s no longer about not being sure of my feelings.”

Chenle didn’t know why, but some part of him wanted to get up and leave the conversation before he had to hear any more about the guy who had your heart. He didn’t want to hear you talking about some guy you liked unless it was him, because it was making him so jealous he could hardly breathe.

“I’m scared to commit,” you confessed. “I know I like him and I'm fairly sure he likes me back, and I don't know if he knows but I'm scared to tell him in case it all becomes too real for me to handle.”

Chenle felt his heart rate grow impossibly slow. There was, in his opinion, the slimmest of chances that the person you were talking about was him.

And while Chenle had always been an opportunist, he was also practical. He wasn’t about to jeopardise his chances by confessing while you were drunk, especially not when he was fairly certain you would forget the whole interaction by the time it was night. That would be simply humiliating for him, and his pride wouldn’t be able to handle it.

So to keep his pride at least somewhat intact, Chenle only said, “I think you should confess.”

“Really?” You looked at him sceptically, reaching for another can of beer. Chenle would have stopped you a second time, but instead of trying to drink it, you started lining three cans of beer up, stacking another two cans on top of it. Although you tried to place the last empty can atop the other two to finish the pyramid, your shaky hand made it hard for you to achieve the feat.

After three failed attempts, Chenle grew impatient, and held your wrist to steady it while you placed the last can on top of the pyramid. With one hand holding your wrist in place, he used the other hands to loosen the death grip you had on the can, moving your hand aside so the can would stay on top of the pyramid.

You slumped over on the table, staring at your masterpiece happily.

“I like–”

Chenle reached over and placed one finger on your lips to shush you, shaking his head. Chenle wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t to hear a confession while he was working, on a Wednesday morning, while you were half-drunk only a few hours before you had to head to work at a studio half an hour away.

His heart wasn’t ready for it, anyway.

He stood up, left to get you some water, and came back while you continued to stare into space dazedly, forcing you to finish a cup of water before repacking the unopened cans of beer and throwing away the empty ones.

“I appreciate your openness,” he said sincerely. “But I’d rather hear it when you’re sober. I'm confiscating this—” he held up the remaining four cans of beer, putting them in the fridge before coming back to you—”and you are going for a walk with me.”

You followed limply as he took you out, walking one round around the block while you leaned on his shoulder for support. Chenle, having established that you were sober enough to take the bus to your studio, was taking you back to the pizzeria when your phone began to ring.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, I thought you were kidnapped or something! Are you okay?”

You nodded, then remembered that Winwin wasn't able to see you. "Yeah. Why?"

"We agreed to meet up, remember? This is the third time you've stood me up in two months."

You slapped your forehead. Of course you remembered! Just not when you were drunk and trying to confess to someone who had just rejected you because you weren't sober. You cast a glance at Chenle, who raised his eyebrows at you.

"Um, yeah. About that. Sorry?"

“I've literally been to this arcade three times to wait for you already, people are going to start thinking I'm a loser whose date never shows up!"

"Don't be dramatic, Sicheng. Didn't you call Jaehyun to accompany you the past few times?"

“Yeah, after you were a no-show for two hours because you overslept!"

You winced apologetically. It really was your fault, but there was nothing you could do about the past few times. "I'm coming now. Can you hold on for a while?"

“You'd better hurry."

 As you hung up, you turned to look at Chenle, but he was busy looking away.

"So, Chenle–"

Chenle shook his head. "You're still not fully sober yet. I don't want to hear anything from those lips. Go and catch Sicheng, I'm sure he's been waiting."

"Can we... talk about this some other time?"

Chenle nodded. "Whenever you're free."

You weren’t expecting to see Chenle sitting on the step in front of his door, phone in his hands, when you arrived back home that day after a long day out. It had been a tiring day for you, having gone to the arcade and then to the studio afterwards, and all you wanted was to take a hot shower and go to bed.

But there Chenle was, his phone screen brightly lit up, although he switched it off the moment you stepped into view. He flipped the phone in his hands carelessly, looking up to meet your eyes.

You gave him a long, hard look, then headed inside, dropping your things off in your bedroom before taking a shower. Minutes later, you emerged from the bathroom, towel around your neck as you dried your hair, leaving the main door open when you took a seat at your steps, directly opposite Chenle.

No one spoke for a few moments, and it was just the two of you existing, surrounded by an atmosphere of comfortable silence. The stars blinked at you as you stared aimlessly out the side, watching the moon glow dimly, shrouded by the cloud cover.

Finally, after a long silence, you stretched out your legs, your breath whistling softly past your teeth, and Chenle looked straight into your eyes and spoke.

“How’s life?”

There was a certain understanding that rippled through the air—you weren’t going to talk about the almost-confession that had happened in the morning. He probably thought you didn’t remember it, and even though you did, you weren’t going to bring it up. There were some things better left unsaid.

Anyway, if he didn’t want to hear it, it was probably because he didn’t want to reject you twice. You set your towel on your lap, hands clasped, leaning forward as you said, “It’s fine.”

“What play are you preparing for now?”

“Aladdin.”

“Ah.” Chenle was silent for a while, and when you didn’t speak, he asked, “Aren’t you going to invite me to come watch it?”

“Johnny hasn’t given us our allocation of tickets yet, so, no. But I can invite you in advance.”

“Wow. You sound like you’re being held at gunpoint to say that.”

You laughed hollowly. “Sorry, I’m not really in the best mood.”

Chenle scoffed. “Oh, yeah? Then when are you in the best mood? At 9am in the morning?”

“Wow.” You took a long, slow breath and buried your head in your hands. “You’re right. Sorry. I won’t show up like that again.”

“It's not about the business, Y/n. I was kidding when I said that. It’s about me being worried about you. Why do you have to drink all by yourself? Is there no better way to resolve your problems?”

“Now you’re making me feel in need of a drink.”

“Seriously? So that’s just your default response to anyone asking you if you’re okay? That’s fucked up, Y/n. You’re halfway there to being an alcoholic at this rate.”

“Actually, you’re wrong.” You could almost hear the pleading tone in your voice, begging him to please believe you, to please stop being mad over an issue that didn’t exist. “I don’t drink. Today was the first time in a few months.”

It was the first time drinking and not thinking about your ex, anyway. Hence your opening line.

“Then? What’s up with this ex of yours, and why was the first thing you said to me that it wasn’t about your ex? It sounded highly suspicious to me.”

There it was. The real root of the problem, the reason Chenle was acting the way he was. Curiosity and misplaced anger, and if you read far into it enough, a hint of jealousy. But of course you didn’t read into it, because that had never been your strong suit. You preferred to take things at face value, then drive yourself insane over the “what if”s, analysing hypothetical scenarios instead of the body language that was perfectly real.

“My ex and I were high school sweethearts. He was my first and only real relationship, and I’ve never let myself get too close to anyone since. I guess I’m scared to commit, scared for everything to be so real and then to lose another person. Again.”

Chenle huffed a sigh, getting to his feet and sitting next to you. You shifted over, squeezing with him on the small step, and his hand landed on your shoulder. A silent tear rolled down your cheek, and Chenle’s other hand wrapped you in a warm, wordless hug.

“I don’t want to let myself get close, Chenle. That’s why I was drinking today; I was torn between my desire to be loved and my fear of not being loved.”

Chenle pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, listening to your muffled words as you mumbled into his jacket, and he loosened his hug to look at you, eyes trailing down your face.

“Give it a chance,” he said, slowly. “Give loving a chance. I promise it’s not as scary as you’re making it out to be.”

“That’s a great line,” you sniffed, wiping away your tears. “Have you ever considered becoming a playwright?”

Chenle shook his head. “No, but maybe after I watch your rendition of ‘Aladdin’, I might change my mind.”

You grinned weakly. “I’ll do my best, then.”

The screen in the dressing room was black, with Johnny occasionally walking onstage with a microphone strapped to his head. His low heeled boots clicked against the floor, and though the microphone didn’t pick it up, you had heard the sound often enough to imagine it as you watched your director walking across the stage.

Clipboard in one hand and his phone in the other, Johnny’s eyebrows were knotted together as he spoke rapidly into the microphone. Most of it was for the stage crew, so you couldn’t hear what he was saying down in the dressing room, but occasionally you would get startled when he walked back into the wings—presumably going to call the actors back onstage—only to emerge again a few seconds later.

Finally, it was almost time for the show to begin, and you went to prepare in the wings.

”Oh God.”

You heard Winwin’s strangled whisper even with the thunderous applause resounding in the echoey chambers of the theatre, watching the lights slowly dim through the gap between the curtains. You turned to face him, momentarily pulled away from scanning the audience, only to see his face ashen and pale, mouth agape.

”What?”

“She’s there,” he breathed, more like a sigh than actual words.

”Who?”

”Ningning. My junior from university. The one that brought me flowers on graduation day?”

Ah, that one. You clearly remembered her, even though you had only met her once. That specific incident had been a core memory of yours, back when your group had gone to attend Winwin’s graduation ceremony. As a bunch of theatre kids, you were the only ones dressed in brightly coloured jeans and turtlenecks, among the other students in graduation gowns and the iconic black hats.

Jaehyun ruffled Winwin’s hair, and he ducked shyly, hands reaching up to smoothen out his curls. The gel in his hair made this a difficult feat, so he eventually gave up, as Jaehyun laughed at him delightedly.

The commotion only got louder when one of Winwin’s batchmates called for a photo, and the graduates hurried to find a place on the steps, Winwin making his way to the back naturally. Several cameras flashed, and someone yelled for them to stay still while he swapped out his phone for another one, and the chorus of “cheese” sounded once more.

”Shī gē!” A Chinese girl with a bright smile and her hair in a high ponytail came running up to Winwin as he made his way back to you, a bouquet of yellow carnations in hand. “Happy graduation!”

Winwin’s face flushed red at the sound of someone calling him “senior”, and laughter burst out at the uncommon sight of someone chasing after Winwin. Although you would admit that your best friend was rather attractive, his features also made him too intimidating for anyone to approach. In your years of friendship, only one person had made a move on Winwin, and they had been politely rejected—if you could call being dismissed with a confused tilt of Winwin’s head “polite”.

Ducking his head and covering his eyes with his too-long fringe, Winwin handed his phone to you, mumbling something about you taking a photo of them.

A wide grin spread across your face. “Of course!” You cheekily took a picture of them, watching the way Winwin immediately eased up, putting one hand around the girl’s shoulder, holding the bouquet in his other hand. The girl threw up a peace sign and you snapped the shot, returning the phone to Winwin.

“I hope to see you around!” The girl told him, waving before running off, and you nudged Winwin while raising your eyebrows teasingly.

“Senior, huh?”

Winwin buried his face in his palms. “Please don’t call me that!”

“Who is she, anyway?”

“One of my juniors. She came up to me after our performance, said she admired me a lot, and since then she’s been kind of vocal about her crush on me.”

“Ah.” You nodded in understanding. “She seems like a nice girl.”

Winwin shrugged. “I guess. She’s not my type.”

“I thought she wasn’t your type?” you asked, recalling the conversation the two of you had had. Winwin rubbed the back of his neck nervously in response.

“I thought so too.”

You let out a snort, just as the distant clapping in the audience died off and Suzy ran onstage. “Well, you’d best put on a show for her then.”

The curtains slowly parted, and Suzy began reciting her lines, while Winwin stared straight at the spot where Ningning presumably was. “You too,” he replied. “Chenle’s there too.”

It definitely wasn’t nerve-wracking to hear that.

You were definitely cool and collected when your turn to go onstage came, and you did a dramatic cartwheel into the scene, just like you had practised many times before. The blocking that had been drilled into you by Johnny's constant tireless corrections and hours of effort had ingrained itself into your muscles kept you from crashing into anyone, dancing around the “guards” onstage in an intricate choreography that had been practised ceaselessly.

For once, you were grateful for having gotten a role where you didn’t have to speak, schooling your face into the exaggerated expressions you had spent hours practising in the mirror. Your body was your medium, conveying a message without words, moving all over the stage, managing to interrupt dialogues comically without having to deliver a punchline.

You no longer cared about how foolish the costume looked, concerned only with how the play worked as a whole, determined to give your best. Even if that meant acting as a monkey, ignoring the audience’s laughter. It was a testament to how well you were playing the role, you reminded yourself. Their laughter wasn't an indication of how bad you were. Rather, it was the exact opposite.

The two hours passed in a flash, with intermission as your sole break in between. In the dressing room, you had time to catch your breath, drinking water and going into the green room for a bite of the sausage buns that had been prepared beforehand.

Before you knew it, thunderous applause was sounding, your sweaty hands holding tightly onto your friends as you took your final bow. A wide smile broke across your face, triumphant and ecstatic, filled with pure, unadulterated pride.

You had completed it, the play that you had been working so hard for for months.

It was finally over.

The dressing rooms were a mess, with people poking their heads in everywhere. Johnny walked through the corridor in his suit, a proud smile dancing across his lips as he hugged people and shook their hands, congratulating all of you on a wonderful show.

Hasty hands plunged through door cracks, holding costumes and water bottles and other paraphernalia. Winwin poked his head into your dressing room, duffel bag slung on his shoulder, casting a glance at your almost-empty room. Most of the actors were in a hurry to meet their parents, but your and Winwin’s parents weren’t watching the show, so you took your time to pack everything back in your bag.

“C’mon, Y/n, hurry up!”

“What for? Everyone else is having a meal with their parents, but I’m not.”

Winwin clenched his teeth and looked over his shoulder. “Chenle, remember?” he hissed through gritted teeth.

Oh. Right. That singular name had you zipping up your own backpack, grabbing your phone off the counter, and staring at your stage makeup in the mirror.

“I look like a clown,” you complained, as Winwin dragged you outside and up the stairs.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m fairly certain he doesn’t care.” Winwin wasn’t paying attention to you, though, too busy scanning the crowd to take a good look at you.

“There!” You followed Winwin’s finger to where Chenle stood, holding a bouquet in his right hand, his other hand tucked into his pocket as he listened to Jisung. He was dressed in a sweater and black slacks, a stark contrast to the casual clothing you were used to seeing him in, and you felt your chest tighten.

He looked up just as you appeared in front of him, eyes sparkling, one hand tightly clutching your bag so it wouldn’t fall off your shoulder. He took the sight of you in, your heart pounding when he didn’t speak, until he finally said, “You looked better as Abu.”

What? You let out the breath you were holding, about to curse him out, when he laughed, that high-pitched giggle that you had grown accustomed to hearing.

“You should see the look on your face! Here, this is for you.” He pressed the bouquet into your hands, and you received it thankfully, admiring its beauty.

Next to you, you were vaguely aware of Winwin accepting Ningning’s hug, and she handed him a rose that he held gently in his hand, turning to you. With his eyebrows raised high, he looked pointedly at Chenle, silently asking if you were going out to dinner with him.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to get ramen?” You looked down at your white shirt, cringing inwardly, but nodded anyway.

“Sounds good.”

Renjun glanced knowingly at Jisung, teasingly saying, “Good job on today, Y/n. You did well.”

You nodded absently, maintaining eye contact with Chenle, and Jisung nudged Renjun subtly. “What do you say we dip after tonight? Maybe give them some space?”

Renjun nodded in relief. “And here I was scared you’d never catch on.”

The four of you walked towards Renjun’s car, and as you slid into the backseat, you slipped your bag off your shoulder and onto the floor. Once your seatbelt was fastened, you began toying with the flower petals, and Chenle pointed his thumb at it. “Renjun chose those, and it’s a gift from all of us. A token of congratulations.”

“Oh.”

You were sure the disappointment was evident through your voice, because Chenle’s lip curled up into something resembling a smirk.

He leaned over, hand pressed into the middle seat separating you, close enough for you to smell the gel he had used in his hair and the cologne he had sprayed. 

“Why do you sound disappointed? Could it be that you were expecting a gift from me?”

Your brain short-circuited.

You moved away from him, squishing yourself against the window, croaking out a tentative “no”, only causing his smirk to deepen as he backed away, glancing at his phone. “That’s too bad, then,” he remarked, offhandedly adding, “Because I did get you a gift.”

Renjun cleared his throat, making eye contact with you through the mirror before saying, “Seriously, Lele, why are you like this? Stop teasing Y/n.”

“Their reactions are just too entertaining,” Chenle replied.

It was true. Your ears were as red as a tomato, and your cheeks were hot. You averted your eyes, studiously staring out the window until Jisung turned around in the passenger seat and beckoned you to come closer.

“He acts very confident, but he’s nervous too,” Jisung whispered.

“I heard that. I'm not nervous,” Chenle called.

“Yeah, right. I saw you psyching yourself up before the performance earlier. Who’re you trying to fool?” Jisung retaliated, immediately turning on Chenle.

The latter smiled sheepishly, turning away from you and facing the window.

“...and now he’s sulking,” Jisung announced, to which Chenle flipped him off, causing Renjun to laugh, lightening the atmosphere.

“Seriously, though. Don't be fooled by him,” Jisung stage-whispered to you. You shot him a knowing grin and nodded.

Renjun pulled into the parking lot, and you got out of the car, trailing after them.

That was, until you came to a fancy restaurant. Chenle was ahead of everyone else, but you tugged on his sleeve, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“Chenle,” you whispered. “I’m not dressed for this.” You gestured at yourself, forcing him to take a good look at what you were wearing, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What’s wrong? I don't get it, you look fine.”

“I’m dressed in a T-shirt and pants! This is the kind of place you wear a blazer to! Or at the very least, a collared, long-sleeved shirt!” you whisper-yelled.

“Okay, firstly, calm down. Look at what I'm wearing. Look at what Renjun and Jisung are wearing. None of us are dressed formally, alright? Secondly, you look perfectly fine dressed the way that you are. Thirdly, I reserved a room. With a door.” He paused to let it sink in. “So no one is going to look inside and judge you for what you’re wearing, okay?”

“I just feel like you should have told me,” you muttered.

“Y/n, darling, do you even hear yourself? How could I have told you? It’s a surprise! Telling you would ruin the whole point of a surprise.”

You would have retorted, but the pet name that he had called you made you too flustered to respond. You pressed your lips together and looked down to hide the growing blush on your cheeks as you nodded. “M’kay.”

“Okay,” Chenle repeated, opening his hand for you to take. When you didn’t notice, he slipped his hand into yours, tugging you towards the counter. “I have a reservation for four under Mr Zhong.”

“Right this way, sir.” A waiter held several menus in his hand as he directed you to follow him, weaving through the restaurant.

“Keep your head up,” Chenle murmured softly. “It’ll take their attention away from your clothes.”

You inwardly said a prayer that the colour of your cheeks had gone back to normal, lifting your chin and doing your best to mimic Chenle’s confident strides and the relaxed gait of his walk. His grip on your hand tightened momentarily, and just as quickly as he had squeezed your hand, he let it go, smiling at you reassuringly.

“Here’s your room, sir.”

The four of you headed into the room, removing your shoes before sitting cross-legged on the rattan mat.

Chenle handed out the menus, and you took your time to look through it, trying not to think too hard about the price of the food as you looked through it nervously. When no one spoke, you gently tapped Jisung on the shoulder.

”Jisung?” He looked up, and you asked, “Um, what should I get?”

“Why’re you asking me?” he asked with a disbelieving huff. “Ask Chenle.”

“Ask me what?”

“… Nevermind.”

Chenle looked up from the menu, narrowing his eyes. Renjun stood, jerking his head to the side, and Jisung subtly excused himself. You looked at them, confused, but Chenle’s gaze remained trained on you.

”Y/n, are you okay?”

You opened your mouth, about to speak, then closed it again. You rarely found yourself at a loss for words, but at the moment you had no way to express yourself. It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful for the effort Chenle was putting in, but you simply weren’t used to it.

Chenle’s expression softened. “Shall we go back home?“

You hesitated, licking your lips anxiously. Then, you nodded.

”Okay. Let’s go, darling.”

The door handle jiggled as you stood up, and Renjun and Jisung stood awkwardly in the door frame, and Chenle waved them over. “We’re going, enjoy your dinner.”

When they said nothing, he sighed. “Yes, I’ll pay for it.”

Renjun grinned. “Thanks, Lele!”

You only realised that your bag with all your costumes were still in Renjun’s car when you passed the carpark and Chenle didn’t slow down, but the way he slipped his hand into yours made it hard to focus on anything else. You decided that would be a problem for another time.

The restaurant turned out to be near the apartment building, so you and Chenle took a nice, long stroll through the neighbourhood, his gaze fixed on you while you looked anywhere but at his face: the asphalt, the stars, the trees casting creepy shadows on the pavement.

You paid attention to the way the soles of your shoes sank under you with each step, listening closely to the sound of Chenle’s steady breathing and the feel of his fingers between yours, thumb rubbing circles against the back of your hand.

“Y/n.” When he said your name, everything else went silent—from the crickets chirping to the wind rustling through leafy trees, the world fell quiet until all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears and the thumping of your heart.

“Chén lè.” The silence was excruciating, his name falling from your lips like a promise, a question, an offer all at once. Spelled out in the two careful syllables, pronounced perfectly in the same tones he’d introduced himself in.

He tugged on your hand, pulling you into his embrace, burying your head against his shoulder. There you stayed, tilting your head to the side so you could admire the view of him, the moon casting shadows on his side profile.

“I like you.”

Chenle smiled, and you could feel the way his lips curved up when his jaw moved against your head. “I know.”

“Since when?”

“Since you called me ‘cute’ the first time we met.”

“No. Way.” You pulled away, scouring his eyes for answers. “You’re kidding.”

He smirked. “I’m not.”

“You heard that?”

He shrugged. “You weren’t exactly quiet.”

Oh, hell. You buried your face as deep into his jacket as it would go, the fluffy material muffling your embarrassed mumbling. Chenle patted your hair, still smiling.

”Don’t worry.” When you didn’t move, he continued, “I like you too.”

“Since when?”

“Since the time you woke me up in the middle of the night, stumbling into your apartment, crashing against the gate and falling to your knees. You broke your own plant that time, the one that you keep outside the apartment, did you know that?”

“The one you gave me?” you asked, horrified.

”No, the other one. The one you bought like a month after. Anyway, I cleaned up the broken pot and the spilt soil by the light of my phone torchlight while you watched me, your sleep-deprived self blinking away sleep. That’s when I knew.”

Chenle leaned away from you, tilting your chin upwards, whispering, “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, moving in to press his lips against yours, wrists behind his neck. His hands found their way to your waist, holding you tightly as his lips moved against yours, soft and tentative and warm.

You sighed when he pulled away, causing him to quirk an eyebrow and ask, “That bad?”

“No,” you murmured, pressing kisses along his jaw. “That good.”

You would have continued kissing him, but he only grinned cheekily at you, moving your wrists away and interlacing his fingers with yours.

Chenle held onto your hand the entire way back, only letting go when you needed to dig into your pocket for your keys. The plant that he had replaced for you still sat on your doorstep next to your shoes, and it held a whole new meaning for you when you left your shoes on the rack and headed inside.

Chenle immediately noted the succulent resting on your window sill, but he said nothing until you stopped short in the middle of the living room.

”Ro…ses?”

The roses had been left in a vase on your dining table with a little bit of help from Winwin, who had asked you for your keys a couple of days before. You tenderly touched the velvet petals, struck speechless by the thoughtful gesture.

Chenle opened a small box, lifting your wrist up so he could fasten a bracelet around your wrist.

”Do you know what shǒu liàn means?” You shook your head. “It means bracelet in Mandarin. But the words for protecting your love have the same pronunciation. Shǒu liàn. Your name is engraved on the band, and there’s space for more charms,” he pointed out.

”There’s a pizza slice,” you commented. He nodded proudly. “And a monkey.” He nodded again, his proud smile growing wider.

“Do you like it?”

You swore you could hear him holding his breath as he waited for your answer.

”Not as much as I like you.”

”Oh, I know.”

And there was nothing else for you to do but to wipe that confident smile off of his face with a peck to his lips that left him blushing.

- fin -

series masterlist

[uponawhitehorse13]

Arcueid Brunestud SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Any way she wants. Doesn’t matter if it’s private or public. Why shouldn’t she kiss you and cling to your arm? She is your girlfriend after all.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You’d probably be out running an errand or doing something else when she’d approach you and ask what you were doing before promptly deciding to tag along. The same situation would repeat itself until she started seeking you out to do things together. So now she’s just always following you around.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She loves cuddles. She’s like a big cat. Always splaying herself out on top of you or laying her head in your lap.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She doesn’t know anything about either cooking or cleaning. However she is eager to learn. Be ready to deal with quite a few burnt meals or having your clothes dyed pink by accident.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

You die.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She doesn’t really get it. There are way more meaningful ways to express eternal dedication to one another according to her.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She will probably bonk you on the head if you say something stupid but also get upset if you do the same. Her comments also tend to be pretty blunt but she means no harm.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Anytime she’s excited she pulls you into a bone crushing hug. She also likes to surprise you with hugs and loves when you also do it to her.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She has no problem saying it. Wouldn’t understand if you got flustered about it. Isn’t that the reason you are in a relationship?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She can get kinda jealous when she sees you talking to other girls but when you assure her you still like her she’s content. She honestly wouldn’t mind sharing you if it’s someone she could trust.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

She’s pretty aggressive with her kisses and she likes giving you cheek kisses in public to show people you’re together.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Yeah she probably isn’t the best choice around children. She’d have fun with them but there would definitely be a lot of shenanigans for you to deal with.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

She’s most often up first trying to wake you up to make you take her somewhere. Either if you two were sleeping together or she somehow got into your room (no matter which floor you’re on).

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

She doesn’t need to sleep that much so she sometimes stays up watching over you. But she does enjoy getting to snuggle up with you and sleep together.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Yeah she probably wouldn’t have any problems loredumping on you. The only thing you’d need to do is ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She is unreasonably forgiving. Even if you really piss her off a simple gift and an apology is more than enough.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She’d remember a lot, especially anniversaries. But sometimes she’s mad you didn’t remember a completely random anniversary. Like the first time you went swimming together or the first time you two “lady and the tramp”-ed a bowl of spaghetti.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably the moment she realized she fell for you. It was such an unfamiliar feeling for her but she knew she wanted to feel it more.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Oh she’d definitely be very protective of you. Won’t let you ever put yourself in danger. And also won’t let you worry about her. She can handle whatever’s thrown at her.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She honestly really wants to do nice things for you but she just doesn’t know what to do. Really needs your direction.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She often doesn’t know when to stop. When she realizes you don’t have the same amount of energy as her she apologizes and finds you a place to rest. She’d probably carry you if you couldn’t walk anymore.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She very much enjoys dressing up but she forgets not all outfits are for all places leading to you reminding her to dress more appropriately.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

She’s never really had someone this important to her so she doesn’t know it but being without you would hit her pretty hard.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I think Arc would really love metal and going to metal shows. Like really heavy stuff like death metal, grindcore or black metal. She wouldn’t care about the unintelligible lyrics or abrasive instrumentals. She would just love screaming her lungs out and going crazy in a moshpit. She’d also be very interested in all the art on merchandise and album covers. Going around before the show asking random people what the unreadable logos on their shirts and battle jackets say.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Affiliations with the church.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

She takes up a lot of space when she’s sleeping so unless you’re cuddling she’s taking up way more than half the bed.

[itsbenedict]

Games I Played In 2023 And Whether Or Not I Thought They Were Good (Part 3/4)

Well, it's 2024 now, and I'm still at these mini-reviews. Definitely gonna be four parts, I think.

[1] - [2] - 3 - [4]

Pikmin 4

I've already posted my thoughts about this one, but... I think this one's my game of the year. Tunic or Disco Elysium would have it, except they didn't come out this year- which leaves Pikmin 4, which is just such a tour de force of good interaction design. There's so many QoL improvements and bits of time-saving polish in it- I can't remember the last time I played a game with so few interface frustrations. (And they nailed all the usual good things about Pikmin, too.)

Master Detective Archives: RAIN CODE

Man, this fuckin' thing... so this is the new IP from Kazutaka Kodaka, the Danganronpa guy, who decided he didn't want to keep making Danganronpa games. So obviously the first thing he did was just make another Danganronpa game.

It's mechanically almost identical. A murder happens, you spend some time combing the crime scene for evidence, then you go into an extended deduction segment where you use evidence on contradictions and play tangentially-relevant minigames to break things up. It's very the same thing- you go to the Class Trial Mystery Labyrinth and use Truth Bullets Solution Keys to attack wrong statements in Non-Stop Debate Reasoning Deathmatch, spell the word "knife" in an obnoxious hangman minigame (except this time it's an anime girl striptease), mind-snowboard down multiple-choice quizzes, and even do the exact same fill-in-the-blanks-of-the-comic-pages-to-recap-the-case finale thingy.

This isn't a bad thing, necessarily! (Except the stupid spelling minigame, my beloathed.) Danganronpa's formula works, and (with one egregrious exception in the form of the awful case 3 with the resistance guys) the deduction is all pretty solid. Rain Code falls down where it deviates from that, mainly. The new things it's trying almost universally don't work.

Firstly... it's sort of inverse Danganronpa in that instead of a fairly stupid and contrived setup and ending that don't really matter and bookend some satisfying and dramatic cases in the meat of the game... it's a satisfying and dramatic setup and ending that bookend fairly stupid and contrived murder cases that don't really matter in the meat of the game. Rather than having a core cast that develops and interacts throughout the story, the core cast (really bad, incidentally; Halara is the only good character, and the obligatory comedy pervert boy is the worst he's ever been in any Kodaka work) is totally ancillary, and all the cases involve random sometimes-nameless NPCs introduced specifically for that case. You could cut the first four chapters of the game and leave just the prologue and finale, and you'd have a better game. The central plot mystery is actually really cool! Shame you have to faff about with Junko Enoshima Shinigami for four boring cases in between.

Special shout-out to the mini-mystery sidequests the game is crammed with for you to do between cases- they achieve the impressive distinction of not-having-a-single-one-of-them-be-interesting. If you play this game, skip them entirely- the only reward is EXP to spend on a thoroughly useless skill tree.

Ori and the Blind Forest

Already posted about this, so I'll just copy-paste what I said when I finished it- it's a very polished and enjoyable little metroidvania! I kind of love how saving the game is an anytime action you cast with mana like any other spell, that’s a fun little gimmick- and the “bash” power that lets you use enemy projectiles like boost pads is so fun. The story’s very simple and straightforward but accomplishes what it set out to do, with a very effective final moment, emotionally speaking. Not a game that’s going to really stick in my brain for longer than a couple hours after finishing it (e: yeah nope I'd have forgotten I played it if I hadn't been keeping a record), but very pretty and very pleasant.

(Except those godawful instakill gauntlet escape-the-dungeon sections, oof, those are overlong and so pointlessly mean. Why the hell would you give the encroaching wall of instant death rubberbanding so no matter how fast you go, you never win any breathing room and you’re never more than one slipup away from having to restart the damn thing?)

Raft

I posted about this one a couple years back:

It’s a survival-crafting game like so many others, except instead of a big empty asset flip wilderness, you’re on a raft drifting through the wreckage of an apocalyptic flood that destroyed civilization. The basic loop of “reel in trash” -> “expand raft” is pretty satisfying, and the islands you can visit to progress the story have some pretty fun things going on. I’m waiting to play it in a group with some friends before I finish it.

and I finally got a chance to do that this year. I get the feeling it would've been substantially more annoying solo, since the engine and fuel logistics that become necessary lategame are so complicated and time-consuming, and the later islands are gigantic and want you to pick up like a dozen tiny collectibles scattered across them.

Then again, maybe it would've been substantially less annoying if I didn't have to keep CONSTANTLY CRAFTING BLUE PAINT because SOMEONE thought it'd be FUNNY to keep REPAINTING ALL MY SHIT RED, PYRO

Grounded

Likewise, I got to finish Grounded with a group, too- again copy-pasting my take from when I finished it:

Grounded overall has good voicework and a simple but well-executed story and does a lot with the Honey I Shrunk The Kids concept- but I think it was substantially dragged down by all the gear crafting nonsense, grinding for parts to upgrade the best armor sets that have slightly bigger numbers so you can survive hits from bigger bugs. Subtract all the pointless crafting of globs and plating and whetstones for marginal stat bonuses and just balance the game around the base weapons and armor, and you’ve got a much tighter experience, I think.

Also- small thing with an outsized impact- the base-building element is fun, but building a new base requires a specific array of crafting materials that just aren’t available in most regions of the yard (egregiously, acorns, which seem to find their way into every crafting recipe but only exist at the oak tree.) Building materials for anything except grass/weed bases are way too scarce (and necessary for other things) to have much fun building bases in remote parts of the yard, where earlygame starting resources (nonetheless fundamental to building anything) are harder to find.

Also dandelions shouldn’t take up the one accessory slot and thereby make all other accessories mostly unusable because they implicitly come at the cost of You Die If You Fall Off Stuff, in a game with a ton of verticality. They’re so indispensable that they basically lock off all the most unique rewards in the game.

There’s a lot to praise (Wendell Tully is a very fun character, the setpieces are super cool, the way a little backyard becomes a world of adventure is the core concept and does a lot of heavy lifting) but it’s a game that’s weirdly choked by a handful of very small nuts-and-bolts game-design-level decisions that seem to have been made thoughtlessly and could’ve been easily fixed. Mixed feelings, overall positive.

Pokemon Too Many Types

It's a Pokemon Emerald mod that does three main things:

Randomizes the parties of non-gym NPC trainers

Allows you to see the summary page of enemy pokemon

Adds a shitton of extra types to the game, and retypes a bunch of pokemon (including extra mon from up through gen 8) and moves to use those new types- often giving pokemon three types at once.

It is... fucking wild. And one thing I didn't realize I was missing from Pokémon in general is... not already having the types and type chart memorized introduces this fun element of guesswork, trying to determine what types are probably weak to other types. Do we think "Furry" is weak to "Gender"? What happens if you hit "Crab" with "Guys"? Was that "Angy"-type attack super-effective against "Baby", or "Gun"? It's hilarious and injects a lot of life into an old game.

Super Mario Bros. Wonder

Just managed to finish 100%ing this one December 31st. It's... uh, it's a 2D Mario game. People are freaking out about it because the art style is slightly different, but it's really just a 2D Mario game. Nothing to write home about. It's got this gimmick where each level has a hidden "Wonder Flower" that makes the level into something crazy and wacky, but it's really nothing that couldn't have just been... its own normal level in a different 2D Mario game. Like, they hold back on the level designs so they can hype them up when you get the flower. Some of them are cool but mostly they're just standard fare.

The main thing of note is that this game has a badge system, where you can equip one of a selection of unlosable powerups for each level, which can sometimes break the game wide open. Maybe you get an extra wall jump, or you can use your hat to glide, or you start each level full-size, or... well, none of them are as good as the one that just straight-up gives you a double jump, so it hardly matters in the end.

(Also, all my hate for that fucking super-duper secret special double-final bonus level where it keeps switching up what badge you're using. Why would you make the final segment the one where you have the invisibility badge on so you have no feedback on how exactly you fucked up and died?! You can't get better at it with practice, because you never have any idea what you did wrong! You just have to get lucky!!!)

Cuisineer

Another one I have a more in-depth post on- it's a roguelike action game crossed with an arcadey restaurant sim game, which I have mixed feelings on. It's very visually polished, and if you use the right weapon and approach it the right way the combat is pretty fun, but its level design and upgrade economy kind of force you into playing it that one specific way. The restaurant management half of it is a lot better than the dungeon-crawling half, IMO.

Cavern of Dreams

This one's a retro-looking N64-style collectathon platformer, and it's just a really nice time. The dragon's various movement abilities feel satisfying, there's all kinds of fun shortcuts and secrets to discover... and it does this cool thing that you wouldn't expect from an N64 game, where items you can pick up in levels can be carried through loading zones and used in other levels. There's just a lot of very clever level design, charming creatures, and good vibes. Not too long, either- I put in about 7 hours. Very cute, very polished, worth a look.

-

Going to finish up these reviews in a bit with a fourth post, which is going to be all the games I played but didn't finish.

[1] - [2] - 3 - [4]

[jennahmariawrites]

So as a writer, one thing that I’m frequently asked is “how do I come up with so many ideas?” And “how do I develop my characters?” And honestly? I don’t entirely have answers for this. My characters and my ideas come to me, they speak to me in the white void of space that lives in my head. My stories are so much a part of me that coming up with ideas and creating characters is second nature.

But, I do have a few tips that I, personally, find helpful.

1. The first step is becoming obsessed with your characters. You must be to them what a YA love interest is to the spunky heroine. “I think about you constantly, you’re the last thing I think about when I go to bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up, the mere thought of you consumes my every waking moment, and even then, you sometimes slip into my dreams” - yeah that but it’s just you about your own characters.

2. Talk to them! I can’t stress this enough, nothing helps me get to know my characters more than holding conversations with them. I constantly imagine conversations between myself and my characters, or I’ll even write our conversations as well. Heck sometimes I voice them and switch between me and “my character’s” voice. Is it probably stupid? Yeah, but it’s fun, I enjoy it, and nobody else has to know…except all of you people now, I guess.

3. Put them in everything! By this I mean, find incorrect quotes that fit them, make them kill each other in hunger games simulators, make quizzes for them, take quizzes for them, make alignment charts for them, aesthetics, moon boards, playlists, figure out their wardrobe, sort them into anything and everything, heck, find out what kind of bagel they would be! Literally just put them in anything, trust me, it helps.

4. Ask them questions! So back when I was like, idk, 15? I made a list of 80 (it was supposed to be 100 but I gave up, maybe I’ll go through one day and add 20 more) random questions to ask my characters, and then I’d just pick a number and answer that question for my characters. I’d do this however many times I wanted until I had to stop, and let me tell you, these questions ranged from “what is an irrational fear they have?” To “what would their funeral be like?” And the wide variety of questions really helped me get to know them better. I still go back and answer these questions whenever I want.

5. Listen to them. Listen, at the end of the day, these are your characters, and while I can tell you all the random, borderline obsessive stuff I do with my characters, I can’t promise these will help you. Take my character building tips as a grain of salt, but listen to your characters. If you have OCs, you know that they don’t listen to you, they do whatever the heck they want and you just gotta keep up with them, but I guarantee that those characters are in that head of yours and they know who they are, so don’t try to fight them, don’t try to force them to be something they’re not, listen to them and do whatever feels natural when it comes to them.

Alright, these have been Jennah’s tips on how to obsess over your own characters, feel free to add your own in the comments!

[arlecchno]

that . dream sounds disturbing :D for some reason nowadays ive started to get more disturbing dreams as well ? they cant be described as nightmares because well i wasnt exactly scared ?? by them but they were ,,,, yk . disturbing . idk maybe im too desensitized to things my brain just either emotionally damages me or is like HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT [ throws random disturbing thing / content ] in my “nightmares” sometimes -

NOT THE LONELINESS 😭😭 i relate except im may or may not be legitimately lonely lmfao . a lot of those frickin popular uquiz quizzes call me out for it and im like “🤠⁉️”

lmao haitham is picking up cynos humor ?? not clickbait real ???? memes aside thanks for more portrayal validation i love rping alhaitham ( esp with kavehs ) theyre so fun - oh yeah i also have this

ngl since i have an alhaitham pfp on discord , i was kinda reading my messages in his voice cuz i was slandering language LMAO ( imagine alhaitham pronouncing “balogna” the way its spelled . made me giggle ngl )

im pretty sure aster has been my oc for almost a year now ( I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS THAT LONG BEFORE GODDAMN - ) so they have . an unholy amount of lore at the moment . i rlly need to modify the lore though because me and my friend ( we both made genshin ocs and theyre like partner ocs ) made our ocs before the release of sumeru where we got more information about irminsul and the leylines — which was vvvvvv important for my friends ocs lore — so now a lot of our stuff is either minorly outdated or some of our lore would just make a lot more sense done a different way 😭😭

even tho asters forever home ( well , as long as dilucs around ig ) is dawn winery , they travel teyvat a lot , which ties into their original name :D they wander the world too lmao ( its totally not an excuse to make them friends with all the character i like wdym hahahahahahahhaha ) . NGL THEY PROBABLY ALL MET AT THE TAVERN - whenever asters in mond ( a lot of the time bc obviously their house is there ) they work at angels share and like aster would walk into the tavern for the first time for like . a drink . dunno what kind of drink but then they just SEE this random ass kid from THEIR FALLEN ASS NATION and go “WTF” and promptly find out he is a fucking dumdum stoopid head and then regret ever coming to this place /j at the beginning kaeya and aster probably did argue at the bar a lot , these two khaenriahns WILL cause diluc to lose his sanity but its okay because then they can all cuddle by the fireplace when theyve all agreed that theyre okay with eachother ( they love eachother /p theyre just all in denial . ) . overall ragbros + aster relationship is just pure chaotic fluff and angst - sometimes they go out to murk all the fatui outside in mondstadt ! fun !! and oh god i typed WAY TOO MUCH ON THIS LMFAO

THE VOID BRICK WALL LMAO ah yes such a beauty is the unknown of the brick wall , it contains all the vastness of the universe in one block and you may observe every galaxy in its grain . also NOT THE TREE CRASH 😨

WHEKJDKDND YEAH I NEED A THOMA ROOMIE IF I EVER DECIDE ITD BE OKAY TO MOVE OUT IN THE FAR FUTURE BECAUSE I DONT THINK ID HAVE THE MENTAL ENERGY TO CLEAN THE PLACE ONCE A WEEK - and if i didnt id probably go crazy because i cant stand the feeling of dirt or sand on floors ….. bleh .

I ALWAYS STRUGGLE NO MATTER WHAT NATION LIKE . THERE WAS AN OCULI NEAR DAWN WINERY THAT I ALWAYS SAW THE DUMBASS SPARKLE TO ON THE MAP AND THEN IT TURNS OUT I NEED TO FLY A L L T H E W A Y UP SOMEWHERE TO GET IT LIKE . ARE . YOU . KIDDING . ME - it took me one whole year to figure out how to get that oculi . maybe im just stupid

omg you can NEVER mention dragonspine / winter patches around me im . IMPOSTER ALBEDO AND FELLFLOWER . they make me insane . i fucking USHXISJDIEIHDHSHAHAAAAAAAAA albedo / rhinedottir lore . alchemy in genshin impact lore . i am so . i will go feral the next time dorian / rubedo ( impostorbedo ) appears in story , wether it be event or not im . im insane thats what i am ………… hahaha …… 🤠

sometimes i forget people farm friendship exp .. im a super duper lazy player who absolutely despises grinding with my entire soul ( im the definition of “lore player” /hj ) i almost never switch out my team unless for fighting elemental bosses or enemies lmao -

DUDE MY CLASSES HAVE BEEN ACTUALLY SCREWING ME OVER WITH PROJECTS RN IM LOSING MY SANITY /nsrs im suffering so much . im losing so much precious sleep …… starts sobbing uncontrollably

i really like milk and white choccy too lmao - probs bc i just cant rlly handle bitter things but OH WELL ! my absolute favorite kind of chocolate is like any kind with strawberries / strawberry flavor in them , recently one of my friends shared some valentines chocolates she got from her boyfriend with our friend group and i gotta say that strawberry chocolate they had in there was ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPDIDDILYUMPTIOUS . it had pieces of dried strawberry too it was just . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

DUDE where i live we have these things called mochi donuts and theyre so good ( ngl you can probably guess where im from just from googling mochi donuts lmao - ) regular donuts r yumyum good but mochi donuts are so satisfying to consume LMAO - but man i havent had a cinnoroll in AGES .. i think im just a pastry enjoyer in general lmao , strawberry , apple , and guava pastries are my life .

tbh i dont think any reply would ever be too long for me to read , like you could probably write me a 3 page essay as a reply and id sure as hell read it LMAO i ramble a lot too so that just makes the both of us 😋

HEIDJEKJD favorite song questions are so hard , right now id have to say either undercover martyn - two door cinema club if you just wanted my music taste im gonna list a bunch of artists now because i am a free advertising machine when i like things : owl city , the neighbourhood , chase petra , lovejoy , everybodys worried about owen , and uhhh everything from the epic: the musical sagas

ZE QUESTION ! whats your favorite like ambient sound ( city noises , water , leaves , etc etc ) and why :0

wOOO SATURN EMOJI 🪐🪐🪐🪐 I LOVE SPACE !! CYA NEXT TIME 💫💫

- jellyfish ( or alex idk lol )

oh my god HI AGAIN ALEX i'm sorry that i wasn't able to reply to this sooner 💔💔 my inbox has been wonky for some reason and it finally worked today (thank god), i hope this won't happen again 😔🤞 i miss talking with you so here's a really long reply hehe hope you don't mind!

i've had my fair share of disturbing dreams lmao, and i've also heard that if you get those kinds of dreams then it means you're dying early??? i don't really believe in superstitions though so i'm not exactly worried about it LOL

your alhaitham rps are hella funny LMFAO i always think of alhaitham of someone who'd slander a lot of things especially when it comes to languages (since he canonically speaks 20 languages), i also see him as someone who'd mispronounce words or pronounce words as exactly what they're written (like you said) and say it with such a straight face 😭 i feel like if you ever tried explaining it to him he'd be like "what do you mean this is pronounced as baloney? why is it even spelled as bologna if you're going to pronounce it so wrongly? what has this system become?" and i'm just going to be in the corner laughing my ass off at how blunt and unintentionally funny this man is

aster lore is back again!!!!! seeing you mention that aster was created before sumeru and how it's already been a year since their existence made me realize how long sumeru has been out for,, sooner or later we'll be getting fontaine in no time 😵 but back to aster! it always interests me how you have this whole background story of aster which is HELLA cool and stuff and how you keep up with the genshin lore too! i think it's such a nice touch for them to be related with the ragbros too— i can just see their silly little arguments and silly little moments they have together. i'm also sure as hell the moment aster sees the khaenriah eyes (well,, eye... to be specific) in kaeya they'd be like "oh hell no." too SJDJKJS it's just so funny thinking of the many scenarios of their first encounter could play out

oh trust me, i hate cleaning my room. if i ever have a roommate one day, i am praying to the lord that they're the most strictest person on earth so that they can make me move my ass around 😔 i'm just not the person who has the energy to do all that often

don't get me started. the oculis in mondstadt are actual hell. like i'm literally not kidding. how can they call it the nation of freedom when i have no freedom trying to get all those oculis when i was in such a low ar? /j

jokes aside the locations of those oculis in mondstadt were so... brutal. i remember using those oculi compass things and the locations they showed at stormterror's lair were so????? some of them were up at the sky and my low ar ass was so confused on how to get up there,, i also remember there was this one that was hidden in like a pillar and i actually had to get my ass up the highest hill there to fly down into that pillar because somehow they won't let me climb the pillar up... those were truly my darkest times lmfao

WINTER PATCHES!!!!! i really miss them haha i was so excited during the snowman event back then and i made a bunch of cute snowmans and taking pics of them with kazuha. hope hyv bring back the winter patches ASAP ‼️‼️ WE NEED MORE ALBEDO LORE ‼️‼️ also idk if you have done the windblume story event but just in case i'm still adding a spoiler alert;;

i'm guessing we got some rhinedottir lore? well it was only mentioned that she's apart of the hexenzirkel and she called herself a mother to albedo (despite the many things she's done that would say otherwise lmao). but fetus bedo in the cutscene is so cute hsjdjdjjs and it basically implied that his hair wasn't tied like that but instead he was created with that hair style 😭 bros really just magnificent without even trying

i'm so very interested with rhinedottir/albedo/durin/dorian lore like i just know that there's more to what we know currently.... but we probably won't be getting much anytime soon considering how deep rhinedottir's lore is sobs

LMAO i get what you're saying with being a lazy player,, i myself have been detaching myself off from genshin impact recently and it's quite relaxing‼️ i don't panic that i missed out on daily's anymore and i hope it continues that way 😭 i log in once in a while to do the events and disappear again for the next week

ahhhh the thought of school projects and assignments makes me squirm kwdjdjdj my break basically ended and i start school on monday so hahaha.... i'm back to hell again </3 so not ready for the heavy workload . hope you're getting enough rest!!! school is always so hectic hhhhh hope you're managing well

dried strawberries in strawberry chocolates????? SIGN ME TF UP(!!!!!!!! i love anything related with strawberries they're literally the best. thing. to ever. EXIST! mochi donuts sound so good looking at the pictures on google made me want to just . chomp them following the shapes one by one. donuts are absolutely scrumptious.

guava pastries?? :0 never heard of them but i'd definitely try them if i could ever get my hands on them, any pastry MUST be tried out by me‼️‼️‼️‼️ *evil laughing intensifies*

glad that i have someone to ramble stuff with!!! at least i won't suffer by keeping all this excitement to myself while rambling stuff on this blog ☝️

just listened to undercover martyn!!! i think it's kinda stuck in me now LMAO the sick beats are getting to me,,, and the beats lowkey remind me of remember when by wallows which is one of my favourite songs by the band!!!

OMG OWL CITY?? HAHA this is truly ironic because i used to love his wreck it ralph song when the movie came out!! this gave me so much nostalgia and kinda made me want to watch the movie again LOL 😭😭 overall your music taste is so>>>> you made me discover new artists like chase petra and lovejoy!!! i'm currently in love with beabadobee shdjdh some of my favourite songs from her currently are you lie all the time and dance with me 😋🤞

oh this question is interesting— i pretty much love oceans the most, if anything. the sound of waves and the chilly wind gives me so much comfort for some reason, and somehow the smell of saltwater never bothered me,, despite my dislike towards salt in general LMAO.

other than that, i think this might sound weird . but i kind of like the sound of the hustle and bustle of flea markets too. they can be kind of overwhelming sometimes because of screaming children and whatnot- but for some reason i enjoy listening to people talking with each other whilst buying stuff sjsklk very odd but it's interesting to see what other people are up to. it's so very fascinating to see the human life evolve and for me that's comforting somehow 😵‍💫

a question for you!!!! what's your favourite season and why :D

i better not get ahead of myself with my rambling and end this off here. hopefully my inbox won't shut down again like last time!! i was so upset that i couldn't reply to your ask and ended up replying this really late 💔 thrilled to see your reply soon!!! have a nice day alex 🪐🪐🪐🪐 (YES SATURN EMOJIS WOO!!!)

[softguarnere]

Anyways, I had a horrible day, so I think we deserve to have some Stark-St. Claire family blurbs . . . as a treat

Ranked below the cut according to how badly they hurt my feelings to write :)

"This would be fun to write!" -- No emotional damage because Chiara's sleepwalking shenanigans are funny to me

Tony is not an idiot. Quite the opposite, actually. But for some reason, the second he realizes that Chiara sometimes talks in her sleep catches him so off guard that he feels pretty stupid. And weirded out, if he’s being honest. Because, as if the fact that his daughter is a sleepwalker wasn’t already enough, now she can talk while she stands in the middle of his lab all Blair Witch style at one in the morning. 

“What did you say?” Tony asks. Admittedly, he’d been so taken aback by the fact that Chiara started talking that he didn’t bother to listen to what she was saying. “Sorry, kid. I didn’t catch that.” 

“Gotta . . . get Dad to help,” the teenager slurs in response. “Need to find Dad.” 

Okay, it’s probably rude of Tony to not comprehend anything Chiara said for the second time in a row, but the second she says the word dad his brain immediately blue screens. In all the months that Tony has known his daughter, they haven’t gotten to that point yet – she’s just been calling him by his name ever since she moved in here, and he really can’t blame her for that.

Yet here she is, at her most vulnerable, referring to him as her dad. From the depths of the kid’s subconscious, here’s the word that neither of them have worked up the nerve to really toss around. 

Sleepwalking is weird. (Hell, Chiara is weird enough on her own, but that’s a different conversation.) Tony’s not entirely sure if Chiara can see him, but he hopes for his own sake that she can’t. Because he actually smiles a little when his brain finishes buffering and the full weight of her words hits him. 

“Yeah, okay kid,” he says when he collects himself. “What am I helping with?” 

Still fun to write because it reminds me of that one B99 episode, but it hurts my feelings a little that neither of them is brave enough to acknowledge what was said

Finding out one of the richest and most powerful men on earth is your father is great for things like getting you taken out of public school. Which is great if you hate going to public school.

Yeah, Chiara definitely doesn’t miss those weird school lunches. Or gym class. Or pop quizzes. Or trying to remember locker combinations. 

Or this – everyone staring at her like she’s some sort of thing to be dissected under a microscope. And she certainly doesn’t miss the confusion of not knowing what she’s done to earn such a look. 

“What?” Chiara asks, slumping down in her chair a little to ignore the way heat rushes to her cheeks as Peter gapes at her.

For a second, the other teenager just stares at her with wide eyes before a somewhat mischievous grin spreads across his face. 

“Nothing,” he replies easily, shrugging. “I just don’t think I’ve ever heard you call Mr. Stark that before.” 

“What?” Chiara repeats, exasperated. “What’s wrong with calling him dude? I do it all the time.”

Peter’s eyes widen. “Ari . . . That’s so not what you just said.” 

“Yes, it is!” Chiara protests. “I said, ‘Okay, dude. See ya later.’” 

“You called him Dad,” Peter deadpans. 

There’s a beat of silence where Chiara considers jumping across the workbench and strangling him for that accusation. Which Peter must seem to realize, because he sets down the web-shooter he’s been working on and takes a step back. 

“FRIDAY?” he calls as he does so. “Can you roll back the tapes, please?” 

Chiara rolls her eyes. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do this courtroom style. Have FRIDAY play back my remarks and you’ll see that I never –” 

One of the holographic screens above the workbench comes to life, already playing the footage from a few seconds before. 

Good thing they’re not actually in court, because the tape does nothing but prove that Chiara has accidentally just perjured herself.

It hurt my feelings, but I wrote it anyways and had a fun time doing it

Any time that FRIDAY announces that there’s a problem with Chiara well after midnight,  it’s never a good sign. But at least it’s usually just to tell Tony that the teenager is sleepwalking and has gotten herself stuck in the stairwell again, since apparently she’s afraid of elevators even in her sleep. 

This is the first time that the AI has ever felt the need to preface an announcement by reading off statistics from the Department of Health telling him how many of Chiara’s classmates are currently absent from classes as they battle the newest stomach bug that’s terrorizing the public school system. 

Tony sets down the gauntlet he’s been working on, crosses his arms, and narrows his eyes up towards the ceiling. 

“FRI,” he sighs. “Is this a fancy way of you telling me that the kid has gone and gotten herself infected with the plague?” 

“Yeah, Boss.” If artificial intelligence could sound relieved, then that’s definitely the adjective that best describes how FRIDAY sounds right about now. “She appears to have a temperature of one hundred and one degrees, although she seems to be talking in her sleep, asking me to turn up the heat.” 

Cold chills, then. Any time Tony experiences that kind of thing, he usually just tries to sleep it off, not die, and hope it goes away. But that’s him being responsible – or, arguably, irresponsible – for himself. This is the kid’s wellbeing he’s got to consider now. 

As if she can sense his hesitation – which she probably can – FRIDAY pipes up again. “Boss, I’ve pulled together some references, including one from a parenting blog.” 

Parenting blog. Jesus Christ! Who would have ever thought that Tony Stark would be at a point in his life when he would have to consult a parenting blog, of all things, to figure out how to take care of his own child . . . A child he didn’t even know existed for fifteen years, but still. 

“Alright, FRIDAY. Lay it on me.” 

It’s a good thing that Chiara has got those little fairy light things that teenage girls seem to be obsessed with strung over her bed, or else Tony would A) trip, break his neck, and drop the glass of water he’s carrying while trying to find her bedside in the dark, or B) have to turn on the lights and risk scaring her awake. Because that one would probably involve accidentally triggering the kid’s freaky-ass shadow powers, and that’s really the last thing anyone needs right now.

“Chiara,” Tony whispers as he crouches down beside her bed, setting the water and the pills he carries on her nightstand. When she doesn’t stir, he places a hand lightly on her shoulder. “Hey, kid. Wake up.”

In the faint light, Chiara’s eyebrows scrunch together faintly. Then, without warning, she shoots up so that she’s propped on her elbow, her eyes glowing purple as she peers through the darkness. 

“Whoa! Hey, hey. hey. It’s okay,” Tony says, leaning back a little on his heels, as if that can somehow save him from Chiara’s line of fire. “It’s just me. You’re safe.” 

Chiara blinks a few times, and her eyes go back to normal. She squints at Tony through the darkness. 

“Dad?” she asks, her voice faltering as her body is wracked with a cold chill. “Dad, why is it so cold?”  

It would honestly hurt less if the kid actually had animated the shadows and hit him with their full force. Because the way Chiara asks that is . . . so unlike Chiara. It makes her sound vulnerable, like she needs help. Help, which is something she rarely asks for. Just like her mother. Hell, just like Tony. 

Maybe it triggers some sort of paternal instinct buried deep in Tony’s subconscious, because before he fully realizes what he’s doing, he reaches up and brushes Chiara’s dark hair back behind her shoulder, then gives her shoulder a gentle push to get her to lie back down. 

“It’s not cold, Ari,” he says, not even registering the use of the nickname he knows she has but that she seems to think is a big secret. “It’s just cold chills from the fever.” 

Chiara’s eyebrows knit together as she gazes up at him. “Am I sick?” 

“Yeah, kid. With whatever version of the plague all your classmates seem to be passing around.” 

“Oh.” Chiara frowns. There’s a beat of silence before she asks, “Can you fix it?” 

What a simple yet complicated question. He’s Tony Stark. He’s Iron Man. He’s supposed to be able to build or fix anything he sets his mind to. But taking care of his own daughter? That seems like a bit of a stretch. 

He’s not about to let anyone else know that, though. 

With all the confidence he can muster, Tony grabs the glass of water and the bottle of pills from Chiara’s bedside table, holding them out to her as if in offering. “Let’s find out.” 

"This will be fun to write >:)" -- and it hurt my feelings so bad to do so actually!

“Something’s happening,” Mantis informs them all in that way she has about her that’s completely open and honest. Lying to spare their feelings never seems to occur to her. And before it can, she turns into a cloud of dust and ashes before their very eyes, each little piece blown away by a sudden breeze.

Chiara’s heart plummets. She takes a step back from the scene, hand automatically reaching out for Peter’s. Her grip is so tight that you would think she was the one wearing a suit of iron.

One by one, people fade away, as if they were never there to begin with. Each disappearance is so horrible that Chiara can feel her heart rate increase every time. Because they all seem to know what’s happening before they go. And could they?

“Tony,” Dr. Strange says, making her father turn to him. “There was no other way.”

Then, he too fades to ashes that scatter themselves to the winds.

As the Doctor – Sorcerer? Wizard? She’s never been clear on what he actually is – fades away, something floods Chiara’s chest. Not the anxiety of watching those around her fade from existence, but something much different. It’s a deep, primordial feeling of dread and of knowing that feels somewhat akin to pouring boiling water into a cool glass and watching it shatter. And there is no mistaking what it is.

Peter’s grip on her hand loosens. His face is covered in a sheen of sweat. His eyes have turned glassy.

This is the one time, she realizes, that Peter Parker won’t – can’t – have her back. Not even Spider-Man can save the Dynamic Duo from this.

But maybe someone can. Someone who so casually adds genius to their own epithets. Because if someone’s own father can’t save them, then who can?

“Dad!” Chiara gasps. She staggers forward as he turns to face her, his eyes wide at the tone of her voice.

“No,” he says, stepping forward to meet her. “No, no, no. Chiara!”

Not even on the news after the Battle of Manhattan did he look afraid. Now, though, his eyes are brimming with fear. With concern, she realizes, for her – the daughter he’s only just been getting to know.

A sentence that Chiara has never before said in her life, because she’s had no one to say it to, slips past her lips. She feels helpless, like a child, when she hears her own voice, too loud and full of echo, as if she’s yelling into a fishbowl. “Daddy . . . I’m scared.”

“Chiara,” her father breathes. “Chiara – “

Whatever he tries to tell her is lost. Something shifts within her, as if something has dislodged in the very core of her being, and then – there is nothing.

Tony Stark is rarely speechless, but he’s stuck staring into thin air, at the place where his daughter was just a second before. Not for the first time in his life, the girl has slipped through his fingers.

I have about 3.5 different thoughts on how my Marvel OC calls her bio father "dad" for the first time, and they range from "This would be fun to write! :)" to "This would be fun to write! >:)"

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[blu-joons]

When Their Best Friend Suddenly Holds Their Hand ~ Ateez Reaction

Seonghwa:

Your eyes looked across at Seonghwa as the nominees were read out for the award. You could see how nervous Seonghwa was, leaning across to him.

Instinctively, your hand rested against his, squeezing the back of it gently. “Don’t worry,” you whispered as his head span around to look at you.

“I’m not,” he smiled, staring down at the hold you had on him, feeling a heavy breath run down his throat. “Are you nervous?”

Your head shook, squeezing his hand once again, “I know that you’ll win, so there’s no need for me to worry about anything. I’m just here to support you.”

“I’m glad I’ve got you to support me,” he responded, altering his glance so that he looked across at you, “what would I do without you supporting me?”

“I reckon you’d be just fine,” you chuckled, tapping against the back of his hand.

His head shook as the VT ended playing out all of the nominees. The two of you sat closely to each other as there was a short pause before Ateez were read out as the winners.

“I told you,” you smiled, feeling Seonghwa squeeze your hand, “I knew you’d win.”

“You must be my good luck charm.”

Hongjoong:

Your body jumped yet again as the movie played out, Hongjoong had warned you the movie had several jump scares, but you never imagined it would be this bad.

As another one came, you reached across to hold onto his hand, trying to hide your face. “I don’t like it,” you whined, turning your face away from the screen.

“Y/N,” he whispered, unable to take his eyes off the tight grip you held onto his hand. “If you’re that scared then we can just turn it off.”

Your head shook, reluctantly turning back around to watch the screen. “I’m fine, we don’t need to turn it off, I just wish you’d warned me about all the scares.”

“I didn’t think you’d be this scared,” he chuckled, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand, “none of this is real though, it’s all just a movie.”

“If I have nightmares tonight, you’re the one to blame,” you scolded.

Hongjoong chuckled, nodding his head back at you. “I’ll look after you,” he assured, “you can just sleep with your hand in mine and I’ll be able to keep you nice and safe.”

“Oh,” you muttered, as you’d realised what you’d done, “do you want me to let go?”

“No, don’t be silly, I don’t mind.”

Yunho:

Your heart broke as Yunho let go of yet another sigh as he messed up his routine. You stood up from your chair, walking over to him before he could try again.

You reached out to take a hold of his hand, stopping him from moving. “Just take a moment,” you instructed, keeping a tight hold on him.

“It’s impossible,” he whispered, glancing down to your hand in his, enjoying the warm feeling it brought. “Nothing is working.”

Your head shook, smiling widely up at him. “You’re just having a bit of a rough day. Why don’t you just come back tomorrow and do something else today?”

“What do you suggest?” He quizzed, raising a questionable glance at you. You tightened your grip on his hand and pulled him towards the studio door.

“Let’s head out somewhere, grab something to eat,” you suggested, tugging him along.

His head nodded, happily being pulled in the direction that you led him. “That might be the best idea you’ve come up with in a long time, I swear you can read my mind sometimes.”

“See,” you laughed, “I know you a lot better than you think I do.”

“Maybe you do know me well after all.”

Yeosang:

Yeosang groaned at the loud squeal you let go of as you reached the shopping centre, looking around at all the open shops you would spend the next few hours browsing.

In your sudden excitement, you held onto Yeosang’s hand to try and make him smile. “I promise, shopping with me won’t be as bad as you think it is.”

“You’ve trapped me now,” he joked, lifting your intertwined hands into the air. “I wouldn’t even be able to escape if I wanted.”

Your hip stretched across to nudge into his, “we can go to a few places for you too, but I really need to find some new outfits, and you are here to carry my bags.”

“I’m just a slave,” he clarified as your head quickly shook. “The only reason you’ve invited me here is because everyone else was too busy, or not stupid enough to say yes.”

“Stop making this sound like a chore,” you teased, squeezing tightly onto his hand.

Yeosang groaned, rolling his eyes across at you. “I know at the end of today I’m definitely going to end up agreeing to ever come shopping with you.”

“You’ll have fun,” you smiled, “time with me is never boring, I promise.”

“We’ll soon see about that.”

San:

Your stomach dropped as the rollercoaster went up, barely able to open your eyes and look down at just how high the carriage was taking the two of you.

San smiled as he glanced across at you as you reached the top. “I don’t like it,” you whined as the ride paused before tilting you closer to the drop.

“Just let yourself go,” San laughed. You reached across to hold his hand at the sound of his voice, holding onto him for dear life.

Your body tensed up as the ride finally flew, feeling San lift your connected hands into the air. “No!” You yelled, screwing your eyes tightly shut as it fell.

“You’re alright,” San chuckled, as the ride slowly came to an end, allowing your eyes to open. “Were you really that scared you had to hold onto me.”

“Well, there’s nothing else to hold onto that high up,” you groaned in response.

San frowned, keeping his hold on you as you climbed out of the carriage. “Why did you agree to go on it if you were that nervous, you should have just said no.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you sighed, as his eyes widened at your honesty.

“You never disappoint me, ever.”

Mingi:

Your eyes lit up as the boys all ran off the stage, glancing around straight away for Mingi. As soon as he saw you, he ran down to you, pulling you into a hug.

Just as he stepped away, you grabbed onto his hand to pull him back. “You can’t walk away without letting me tell you how amazing that concert was.”

“I don’t need you to tell me we’re amazing,” he teased, nudging your hip with his free hand. “Am I not allowed to go and see anyone else now?”

Your hand quickly let go of his as he nodded down to the grip you had on him. “I don’t know what I was thinking, sorry, it just felt like the right thing to do.”

“Don’t apologise,” he joked, moving his hand to rest against your shoulder. “I’m not complaining, you just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

“I didn’t want you to walk away from me just yet,” you whispered down to the floor.

Mingi frowned, taking your hand once again. “I didn’t ask you to let go either, in fact, I want you to hold onto me for the rest of the night so I can keep you nice and close to me.”

“Seriously,” you chuckled, as he held onto you tightly, “you’re not going to let go?”

“No way, you’re staying right here with me.”

Wooyoung:

Your feet stopped as you reached the large step up to the arena. Wooyoung leapt up with ease, glancing back at you still stood in front of the hurdle.

Without thought, your hand reached out for him to take to pull you up. “There’s no way I’m going to be able to pull myself up this, give me a hand up, please.”

“Hold tightly,” Wooyoung instructed, offering his hand out for you to take, pulling you up the step with ease, catching you as you stumbled.

You smiled across at him, carrying on walking without much thought. “Steps like that aren’t built for people like me, they’re for strong people like you.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, noticing that your hand was still firmly holding onto yours. “I’ve got you up the step now though, do you still want to hold onto me.”

“Do you want me to still hold onto you?” You queried, taking him by surprise.

His head shook, squeezing your hand gently. “It’s actually not, weirdly it feels quite normal to just hold your hand,” he smiled, carrying on walking down the street with you.

“I never realised how big your hands were,” you joked, “I’ve never held it before.”

“There’s a lot that you don’t know about me.”

Jongho:

The room erupted into laughter as Jongho told the group the joke he’d been dying to share for most of the afternoon, sending everyone into fits of giggles.

You threw your head back as you felt your stomach hurt, gripping onto his hand to steady yourself. “That was such a stupid joke, it’s not even that funny.”

“Y/N,” he sniggered, noticing your hand resting over his. “If you didn’t find it that funny then why are you sitting in tears right now?”

Your head shook, barely able to look across at him as a result of the tears in your eyes. “It was just so dumb, that’s why it’s funny. I don’t even get the joke.”

“You’re impossible,” Jongho grumbled, trying to subtly move his hand away from yours, but instead you kept a strong hold around him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” you stuttered, as you suddenly realised what he was trying to do. “Sorry.”

His head shook, grabbing your hand as you tried to move it away. “It just took me by surprise, that’s all. You’ve never really held onto my hand like that before.”

“You’ve never been funny before,” you teased, “I can let go, it’s no big deal.”

“Don’t, you just do what makes you comfortable.”

---

Masterlist

[worstloki]

Here’s the convoluted story!

so my sister and I both have pretty strong ADHD. We get hyperfixations all the time, among other stuff. We’re nerds, our hyperfixations usually show up in the form of a sudden obsession with one fandom or another.

We have this little…thing we do, where when one of us has a hyperfixation that they need to talk about or they will explode, we’ll call a meeting. Whichever one of us is a time bomb of obsession explosion will go to the other sister’s room, sprawl out on their couch, and unleash. The other sister will listen, ask questions, and just let the other one talk, usually while drawing (her) or writing (me) or doing something to occupy their attention while the other person is spewing random rambling. Typically we’re okay if the other person is only half listening- just being allowed to dump all of our fandom feelings out works for us.

So recently, we’ve both developed a new hyperfixation. I didn’t know what hers was. But mine happened when I randomly picked up Agent of Asgard at Target last week. Since then I’ve read all of it plus Journey Into Mystery and watched the first two Thor movies. I’ve also been manically scrolling through a lot of blogs like yours. (I did try the first episode of the Loki show- gotta confess I did like it, but I doubt that’ll stick if I keep going from what I’ve heard about it.) It’s one of the most extreme hyperfixations I’ve ever had. I think I’ll like Loki even after the obsession passes.

Anyway, I’ve developed some…strong opinions of some of the characters. And I was feeling that urge to talk about it. So yesterday I texted my sister and said I needed to unleash.

We did our usual setup- I crashed on her couch, she got out her sketchbook. And I went off. I was rambling for a solid half-hour, just going completely crazy. I was talking so much that my sister didn’t even ask her usual questions, she just drew and let me keep going.

But eventually I got to my feelings on Odin and Frigga, particularly Odin. And I noticed that as I kept talking about them, she was drawing slower and slower. Eventually she stopped altogether and was just staring at me.

I finally got really curious and asked her what was going on.

“You said you grabbed this at Target?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“And these sort of adoptive parents are jerks? With the guy being kinda more obvious with it?”

“Yeah…”

And then she started grilling me. Not in a bad way, she was just quizzing me on the characters. Sometimes in a weirdly specific way.

“Is there another kid in the picture? A boy?”

“Yup,” I said, thinking of Thor.

“Blond?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Big?”

“Yeah.”

“Stupid?”

“…sometimes.”

“Okay, so the main character is your favorite, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Dark hair?”

“Yes.”

“Kinda scrawny?”

“Definitely.”

There were a lot more questions. She was having fun, I was having fun, so I just let it keep going even though it was a little weird.

But then she got to the last one.

“So your favorite…he’s magical, right?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s a significant character trait.”

My sister slammed her sketchbook down and shouted, “WE HYPERFIXATED ON THE SAME THING!”

Now this doesn’t usually happen. We have very different tastes. And while I’ve read a few comics before, she typically tends to like more mainstream things (she’s twelve, I’m twenty.) So I was very surprised, and I was like, “We did?”

And she’s grinning all over her face at this point, and she goes, “YES! Look!” And she reaches down under her bed and pulls out…

The first Harry Potter book.

And I was like, “What.”

And she was like “…is this not what you just described?”

And I almost said “what the heck are you talking about?” But then I thought about it, and…she’s kinda right.

So then I had to go grab my book and show her, and explain things in a slightly less rambly way. And then of course she got really excited about her fandom, so she started explaining the whole plot to me (yes, I’m twenty and have never read Harry Potter.) and we collectively decided that there are definitely similarities if you mess with canon slightly more than a little bit. We were in her room just talking for three hours until we both got thirsty and stopped to go get water.

She tends to get big ideas a lot, so now she wants me to rewrite the first Harry Potter book using solely Marvel characters while she draws illustrations for it. She already did a few doodles, and they’re awesome and hilarious- her art style is very overexaggerated, and while I have no idea what the Dursleys look like in either the movies or the books her doodle of Odin and Frigga as them is some of the funniest art I’ve ever seen. don’t know if we’ll end up doing too much with it, but we’ve both kinda bonded over this completely ridiculous misunderstanding of fandoms.

Anyway, that’s the story of how my sister and I somehow managed to think each other got into the same fandom and it was great and confusing and one of the weirdest experiences of my life. *inserg dramatic bow here*

-🦦

AMAZING - though now I'm questioning describing the stories/characters to each other without using their names even once skfjhvsdvds

[wonniesmile]

❥ playground! (ep. 1)

⤷ ellie’s moments in playground episode 1! (ft. txt <3)

⤷ bulletpoint format !

⤷ read ep. 2 here!

ellie was like...extremely nervous.

not only was it one of the first variety shows they were ever filming, but with TXT TOO??

she has been a massive fan of theirs since debut and she was quite literally starstruck seeing them in person.

they met backstage before the recording and she couldn’t move a muscle.

if you asked her to recall what happened before filming, i could guarantee you she wouldn’t be able to.

(she might have the tiniest crush on mr. choi beomgyu and the members tease her for it relentlessly.)

had to freestyle dance in front of everyone and could not keep a straight face bcs she was so nervous.

“she’s so cute!” (said by yeonjun himself)

at that point the poor girl’s heart almost stopped.

“i want ellie on my team!” (said by yeonjun yet again)

thinks her life flashed before her eyes at that very moment.

hey...do u remember when i mentioned her tiny crush on beomgyu? yep! as it turns out...jay actually forced her hands up for his team when picking groups!

great job jay! (from me of course...ellie was mad)

anyways, she tried pulling it back down, but obviously she gave up after remembering how strong he was lol.

so here she was...standing next to the one and only choi beomgyu...face literally tomato red (good thing makeup is a thing!)

“hey ellie-” , “don’t talk to me rn.”

that was her conversation with jay by the way, she was mad (at least on the outside, her heart was pounding very heavily on the inside).

“hi! i’m beomgyu, and you’re ellie right?”

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

he knows her NAME? HER DAMN NAME.

alright, ellie calm tf down.

“yeah! i’m a big fan of you guys!”

why in the hell would you say that? are you literally stupid-

“aw thank you! you’re very good at dancing, we should collab sometime!”

...

what?

no.

there’s no way that just-

wait...

come again?

“wh-? oh- uh- u-”

“she’d love to collaborate!”

thanks jungwon, she owes you one.

“yeah! what he said!”

good god, that was the most embarrassing thing she has ever experienced in her life.

back to the actual show, they were put into desks.

ellie tried sitting in between jungwon and taehyun, but of course, jay being the literal devil he is, forced ellie to sit next to beomgyu.

jungwon giggled and she gave him a death stare.

was red the entire time.

kinda carried the group, along with mr. yang.

knew all the questions during the quizzes and beomgyu would compliment her each time.

i think her ego went straight through the roof every time gyu complimented her.

she would make eye contact with sunoo from across the room and they’d both start laughing their butts off.

“why are you laughing so hard?” (jungwon)

“oh its nothing.” she says this as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

after the quiz missions, they had to do the blindfold challenge.

jay (being the annoying ass he is) tried to get ellie to do it with beomgyu, but she didn’t budge.

“you know you want to ellie~” (jay in a mocking tone)

“shut up.”

ended up doing it with jungwon.

giggled so much at the feeling.

held jungwons hands bcs she was “scared”.

“WHAT IS THIS.”

it was cold and- “HARMONICA!”

ellie won the round (as she most def should)

then it was time for the tennis game shat.

OH GOD. what a game.

they went second, after ni-ki, sunoo, yeonjun, and heeseung’s team, so they had time to prepare.

made “small talk” with beomgyu.

(it was literally just her blushing, nodding, and staring in awe the whole time, but beomgyu didn’t seem to mind.)

got really immersed in the game being played in front of them and started clapping every time the other team failed.

sucked at the game (oops).

they almost came in last, but thankfully, she had good teammates.

tripped on her own foot like 80,946 times, suprised she didn’t break a bone.

she would hear one of her members laugh from the sideline and she’d have to try so hard not to laugh.

the next game was ~easy~ as stated by ellie.

“we are the one!” beomgyu said in english, made ellie burst into laughter.

first word was crab, she got that one right (or at least the majority of her teammates picked the same one as her (majority=jungwon and taehyun)

if she was being honest, her team sucked at the game.

its alright though, it was fun.

she liked watching the other teams fail, it was so entertaining to her.

“JAKE ISN’T DOING THE SAME HAND!”

got really defensive for some odd reason.

others found it adorable.

sadly, the episode had to end there.

but THANKFULLY, they were gonna shoot more.

she said her ending ment. and threw finger hearts at the camera.

after the shooting for the first ep. ended, she became close to huening (after finding out he brought his nintendo switch).

they played for so long in the dressing room.

won every time...yep.

“WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD?” (this is hyuka as ellie is absolutely crushing his dreams)

“i dont know, hai.” (ellie with the biggest smug smile on her face)

“its her secret talent.” (heeseung mentions next to her)

“everyone, get ready for the next shoot!”

“darn, let’s play again later!” hyuka says.

ellie nods her head so aggressively (it legitimately almost snapped).

that pretty much sums up the first episode!

(someoneee got a little jealous with the whole beomgyu and ellie ordeal, but i wont name names rn...figure it out for yourself ;))

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Hi can I ask for fixit x chopshop headcannons pls ps I hope you have a great 4 of July...♥️🤍💙

You absolutely can, and happy forth to you too! I'm celebrating by making some stuffing and chicken!

Fix it is the brains of the relationship. Chop Shop is clever and conniving, but he gets angry and he's super impulsive, so he does stupid shit and needs a small mech to tell him 'no you can't steal car parts'.

Chop shop, in return, teaches Fix it to have a little more fun. As in, he totally sneaks him into shows even though they hadn't paid for tickets or whatever. is it bad? yeah, but Chop Shop is trying to be sweet, so Fix it just picks his battles.

Each member of chop shop is pretty similar, but righty is definitely the most affectionate, and is most likely the one to bug (ba dum tum tst) him compared to the rest of the team.

Fix it and Chop Shop have a lot of date nights. Sometimes it's them just hanging out and doing personality tests (Fix it unfortunately likes buzzfeed quizzes), and sometimes it's just Chop Shop napping while Fix it works. Believe it or not, them just relaxing together is more than enough of a date for them.

They love camping dates! So much! Chop Shop gets yummy s'mores, and Fix it gets to look at the cool lizards and bugs in the area.

Fix it is a romantic, but he doesn't do nicknames. He just feels awkward about it. he tried 'Choppy' once, but it didn't stick. Chop Shop however, is nicknames aplenty. 'Mini', 'wheels', or even 'tools'. fix it likes ALL of them, especially when Chop Shop winks at him as he says it.

They're in a serious relationship (as serious as you can get with Chop Shop), but they still flirt. A lot. Honestly Fix it acts like such a fangirl towards him, and Chop Shop likes the attention.

Relationship is SUPER secret. Chop Shop sneaks into the base often, and Fix it knows its bad, but uh...well. Chop Shop is a big boy, sooo-

[cali-holland]

Risky Quizness- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Requested by Anon: meeting tom at one of the pub quizzes he goes to at his local pub, he and his mates need more people on their team to sign up, so they asks you and a couple of your friends to join, you and him connect. Xxoo

Prompt: When you meet Tom at a pub quiz, sparks fly between the two of you.

Word Count: 1800

A/N: Huge shoutout to @saysomethingspiderman​ for being a major help with this one. I’m hella American and never experienced a pub quiz before lol aka brits dont hate me for this

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

“Damn it.” Tom muttered, looking at his phone with a frown.

“What?” Harrison asked, sitting next to him at the table with their two pints.

“Harry just texted me. He’s sick.” He replied. “And Sam’s with his girlfriend and you know mum would never let me take Paddy.”

“So it’s just us then?” The blond let out a sigh.

Pub quizzes weren’t much fun with two people. Normally, they’d go with Tuwaine, Harry, and Sam- sometimes even Sam’s girlfriend would tag along, but Tuwaine had a family thing come up, and now the twins had bailed.

“We could always try to find someone to join our team? Right?” Tom offered weakly, and his friend shrugged.

“We’d have to find people willing to actually join us.” He stated and Tom nodded. The pub was already filling up with hopefuls for the pub quiz, there was no way they’d find others to team up with them-

“You can’t do a pub quiz with two people! It just doesn’t work like that!” You let out a frustrated groan as you passed by Tom’s table with your friend. And just like that, a light bulb went off in Tom’s head as he jumped after you.

“Hey, wait!” He called out and you and your friend paused, turning to him skeptically as you held your drinks.

“You only have two people for the quiz? My mate and I are also a team of two. Did- did you want to, maybe, join us?” Tom asked, realizing how stupid it sounded to ask that out loud- to ask a couple strangers to be on his team for a pub quiz. Your friend looked at you and you contemplated it for a moment.

“Sure, but we better win.” You stated, following a triumphant Tom back to his table (much to Harrison’s surprise). You sat down in an empty chair, leaving one open between you and Harrison, and Tom slid into it. 

“I’m Tom, and this is Harrison.” He introduced the two of them.

“Y/N, this is Jess.” You replied with a smile. The quizmaster quickly made his way around the pub, handing out a sheet of paper to each of the teams.

“What should our name be?” Tom asked, looking at the paper in front of him.

“Risky Quizness.” You said simply and Jess let out a laugh beside you.

“Risky Quizness?” Tom and Harrison both repeated, and you nodded.

“Every time we’ve used that name, we’ve won the pub quiz.” You stated.

“That’s because the only time we’ve won it was our name!” Jess added, and you rolled your eyes at her.

“We still won. Maybe we wouldn’t have been second last time if our name was Risky Quizness, not Universally Challenged.” You picked up the pencil from the table and grabbed the paper from in front of Tom.

“Risky Quizness, like the Tom Cruise movie?” Tom asked you, a small smile on his face.

“I’m writing it!” You announced and Jess groaned, but the boys just laughed.

“In case you couldn’t tell, she runs the quiz.” She teased.

“Shove off.” You groaned, “I’m competitive.”

“How many of these have you won?” Tom inquired. He honestly wasn’t sure how well he and Harrison would do with their usual team; by the end of the night, he would have always had enough beers to be a bit hazy on how many he actually knew on his own. He wanted to do well though because who didn’t love winning? And he also may have wanted to impress you a little.

“Just the one.” You mumbled, not wanting to fully admit it, “But we keep coming in second. There’s this group at our usual place called Let’s Get Quizzical and they win every single time. So we’re here in hopes that they won’t be.”

“What about you two?” Your friend asked.

“We’ve won a few times, but honestly, I don’t remember if I got any of them right.” He laughed.

“So, it’s up to you then, blondie.” You joked, and Harrison smiled with a grimace. “You two are lucky you’re attractive.”

Before either could respond, the quizmaster began to speak, announcing the general knowledge round. Some were easy questions like name the longest river in the U.K., complete the line from Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” (which you knew immediately), and how many hearts does an octopus have (that one you and Harrison got in a heated debate about whether it was two or eight, when Jess stepped in as the marine biologist to tell you it was three). 

The next couple rounds went by smoothly, the four of you working together to make sure you got the right answers. By the time you were on the final round, the movies round, you felt fairly confident that your answers were like 90% right (you still weren’t sure if you trusted Tom and Harrison in saying that the DeLorean in Back to the Future had to hit 88 to time travel because you definitely thought it was 85 like the year the first movie came out).

“Which Star Wars character gets namechecked in Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom?” The quizmaster asked, making the four of you pause.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie.” Harrison stated.

“Yoda?” Tom suggested, thinking it was a fairly iconic Star Wars character.

“It’s Obi-Wan.” You said as you wrote down the answer. “I just watched the movie like two days ago, and trust me, you’re not missing out if you haven’t seen it.”

“Two hours I’ll never get back.” Jess shook her head with a sigh.

“That bad?” Tom asked and you both nodded.

“The worst.” You shuddered just thinking about it. 

Though that question stumped Tom and Harrison, it wasn’t until the last question of the round that you really didn’t know the answer.

“Last question. This sequel film is the 10th highest grossing superhero movie of all time.” The quizmaster read off the question, and you turned to the rest of your team, unsure of the right answer.

“I don’t know? Captain America?” You asked, wracking your brain for any good superhero sequel films you’d seen. You watched Harrison try to nudge Tom inconspicuously, who was blushing beside you. He mumbled something to you, but you couldn’t hear it at all. “What movie?”

“Uh, Spider-Man: Far From Home.” He spoke up louder, the blush on his cheeks darkening as he shot Harrison a glare.

“Oh, right, never saw that.” You replied, and Tom laughed nervously.

“You really never saw it?” He asked.

“Nope.” You shook your head, “I don’t even think I saw the first one, honestly. Not that big of a Spider-Man fan.” As you wrote down the answer Tom had given you, you missed him sending a look back to his friend, trying his best not to be slightly offended by your words.

“You should watch them. They’re really good movies.” Tom said with an encouraging smile when you looked back up at him, ignoring Harrison’s kick under the table. It wasn’t until then that he realized you had absolutely no clue who he was, and it was the best thing ever for him; you were treating him like just another random guy who invited you to join his pub quiz team.

The quizmaster announced the end of the quiz, and everyone went over their answers. Much to your familiar disappointment, your team ended up second again.

“Maybe, it’s just you.” Tom teased you as Harrison and Jess went to go get more drinks.

“Rude.” You playfully scoffed, though you were still a bit upset by the loss. “Maybe if you had known that Wisconsin was the dairy state then we would have won.”

“You didn’t even know that one!” He refuted. It was true- the American geography round just about wiped your team out. Tom shifted a bit closer to you, leaning on his arm, flexing it almost, “So you think you’ll be back at this pub for next week?”

“I think I could be convinced to return.” You replied slyly. Before Tom could ask for your number, you already had your phone unlocked, sliding it over to him. “Here.”

“You already knew.” He chuckled, handing you his phone in return. You both typed in your numbers and switched phones back.

“That one Spider-Man question. How did you know that?” You asked, thinking back to all the sigh’s the erupted throughout the pub when the answer was revealed- most had gotten it wrong, so how did Tom know so quickly that he was right?

“I just know.” Tom shrugged in an effort to play it off.

“You know off the top of your head the 10th highest grossing superhero movie of all time?” You eyed him suspiciously.

“They said it was a sequel, so it had to be either that or Incredibles 2.” He joked, but you weren’t too amused. He leaned in closer to you, creating an intimate distance between your two faces, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What, are you Spider-Man or something?” You asked teasingly, but his smile never faltered.

“Yeah, I am.” Tom replied. You laughed before you realized the complete seriousness in his voice and his face.

“Seriously?” You managed through a fit of laughter.

“I really am! And you said you didn’t like my movie.” He teased.

“I said I never saw it.” You corrected him. “That has to be cheating for it to be your movie as the answer.”

“No, it definitely isn’t.” He shook his head with a laugh.

“How much did it gross? How much?” You asked, wiggling your eyebrows at him jokingly, “You check the box office daily, don’t you?”

“I do not!” He protested, chuckling, “And it made over a billion, thank you very much.”

“Did you drop your pants for that to happen or something?” You quipped, and his face heated up. You gasped, “You didn’t!”

“It was just for one scene and I had my underwear on!” Tom insisted, “You’d know that if you saw the film.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll watch it- both of them.” You laughed.

“How about I quiz you on them next week?” He joked, and you groaned.

“No, that means I’d have to pay attention.”

“Fine, I won’t quiz you on them on one condition.” Tom rested a hand on the back of your chair, leaning in closer to you. You raised your eyebrows at him, telling him wordlessly to continue, “Go on a date with me?”

You nodded, laughing as you spoke, “Yes, but I gotta say, I really thought you were going to make me watch your own movie with you.”

“Trust me, darling, we can do that, too.”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​ @hellomoveonby​ @heyitsshrez

Tom Tag List: @quaksonhehe​

[childishfluff]

Little Kitten- [TommyInnit Pet Regression Oneshot]

Pet Regressor/Kitten!TommyInnit, CGs/Handlers!Wilbur and Tubbo

Tommy liked feeling small. But more then that, he liked feeling like a small kitten. He liked cat ears and playing with balls of yarn, and curling up in a little ball to take a nap. None of this was a problem until Wilbur and Tubbo came to stay at his house for a week, and he had to hide both a littlespace, *and* a kittenspace. And when Tubbo continuously calls him a "kitten" due to his results on a stupid internet "what animal am I" quiz, and Wilbur literally pets him while cuddling, he realizes he wasn't going to last a day. He was simply a little kitten. And now his friends knew that. -- This is non-sexual, sfw age+pet regression, dni if your nsfw/abdl/ageplay/petplay/cgl/ect. If any of the creators included in this work say *anything* about being uncomfy with fan fiction/of agere content including them, I will take this down and/or modify it appropriately. If they have already said something that I'm unaware of, please let me know.

A/N: so I was reading some tommy centric fics and the idea of Catboy!Tommy popped in my head, which eventually evolved into Kitten Regressor!Tommy as I brainstormed and this 4000-something oneshot happened. To my knowledge, there are no other pet regression fics in this fandom, and this is my first pet regression fic. If I misrepresented something, or you just wanna tell me something cool about pet regression in the comments, feel free too lmk in the reblogs/replies/in my ask box after reading!

For those who don't know, pet regression is similar to age regression. Pet Space (kittenspace,puppyspace,ect) is a separate headspace that someone can slip into, where they act like a different critter or creature. It can be used for all the same reasons as agere, and the online communities overlap a ton! You can look into it more, but that's the gist of it! It's nonsexual, safe for minors, and it ISN'T P3TPL@Y! also warning for a very brief mention of kinks and "getting off" (tommy basically saying that he's not into petplay) at the beginning.

--

Tommy liked feeling small. But more then that, he liked feeling like a small kitten.

Figuring this out was confusing for him. Even after discovering why he liked acting like a toddler sometimes, and why it helped him, he had to figure out why he also found comfort in pretending to be an animal. At first, he thought that this cutesy cat-like headspace was just him playing around while little, pretending to be one of his favorite creatures.

But then, he noticed how different his behaviors were when he got like this versus when he was just being a kid. It was really annoying, because he could research anything without stumbling across kinks that he was sure he wasn't into.

Just because the thought of wearing cat ears and curling up in someones lap and being pet softly made him happy, didn't mean he got off on it. Eventually, though, he discovered pet regression.

The pet regression community was overlapped, heavily, with the age regression and age dreaming ones he already secretly took part in. He was shocked he hadn't stumbled across it during his late-night scrollings through the "littlespace" tumblr tags.

Just like when he discovered his littlespace, he bought things online with money saved up from streaming, telling his family it was supplies for a video, and created a secret little box that sat under his bed for whenever he wanted to indulge in that headspace. Choker necklaces that resembled kitty collars, cat ears, certain sensory toys, different snacks.

Now, none of this would be a problem, if it wasn't for the fact that Wilbur and Tubbo coming over to stay at his house for a week while his parents were on vacation. Yes, he had pushed to stay home, preferring that he was babysat by someone he saw as his older brother, instead of being forced to go on a boring trip and go on a forced streaming break.

But he didn't quite think out how he'd pull off not regressing in front of either of the two of his friends, for a whole week. Tommy regressed the most when his parents weren't home, and now he couldn't do that.

All he could do is hope that he wouldn't slip, and that they wouldn't discover either of the two boxes under his bed. He'd quickly find that that was really hard when he had two friends that constantly teased and babied him.

"So, what should we do this week? Besides streaming and gaming, of course," Tubbo questioned from his spot where he laid on Tommy's bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tommy shrugged, spinning a bit in his gaming chair.

His parents had left a few hours ago to catch their flight, after Tubbo and Wilbur were dropped off early that morning. Tubbo had gotten settled, and Wilbur took the responsibility of making them lunch. So now, the two teenagers sat in Tommy's bedroom.

"I don't know. We'll obviously film some videos," Tommy spoke casually, biting the inside of his cheek. All the excitement and anticipation had worn off, and now they were bored. Yeah, they could start a stream or boot up a game, but it felt right to just enjoy each others company. They had sat in silence for a while, their previous conversation falling off when they ran out of things to say, until one of them tried to start another.

Tubbo had gone through a lot of trouble with his parents to be there, doing everything he could to convince them that Wilbur was responsible enough to watch over him for a week. Tommy wasn't just gonna shove a mic in his face and tell him to entertain his twitch viewers.

"I have an idea!" Toby gasped, sitting up suddenly.

"What is it?" Tommy laughed a bit at his sudden realization, and how his friend had replied to it.

"We should take online quizzes together," he suggested. "Hogwarts house, personality type, whatever you want, and compare our results. You in?" he questioned, standing up and coming over to sit in the wooden chair to the left of Tommy's.

For now, the blonde had two of his kitchen chairs in his room, so that the three men could huddle up together at his PC for streams throughout the next week. "Sure," Tommy nodded a bit, booting up his computer.

"We should start with the Hogwarts House quiz, don't ya think?" Tubbo asked, watching him open his browser.

"Sounds good to me," Thomas agreed, following his suggestion and searching up the desired quiz.

After a handful of quizzes, most of which Tommy deemed "inaccurate" due to results that didn't make any sense to him, they took a "what animal are you" quiz. Tommy knew what his results would be, he's taken tests like this a million times.

It'd most likely label him as a cat. He figured that Tubbo would be none the wiser, clicking through the test and answering honestly. He was a little taken aback when the result screen specifically told him that he was a "kitten".

"Aww," Toby cooed in a teasing voice. "I thought that you might've gotten 'cat', but kitten? That's so cute." he laughed a bit.

"It's probably because they just put kitten in place for cat," Tommy scoffed, hoping with every ounce of his soul that he was pulling off the "shocked and annoyed" act, which he hoped covered up his nervousness.

"Let's see," Tubbo took control of the mouse, click on the drop down arrow next to the blue text that read 'All Possible Results'. "See! There is an option for cat, and it called you a kitten!" he cheered, causing Tommy to roll his eyes a bit.

"Whatever," he said, "It said you were a Golden Retriever, so..."

"Tom-Tom's a little kitty!" Tubbo ignored his statement, talking loudly in a sing songy voice. Tommy knew that he wasn't doing this to be mean, and that he was just joking around, but it did hurt a bit. Because he was a kitten sometimes, and it felt like his friend was making fun of it.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, but the food is ready," Wilbur's voice joined the conversation, the older man suddenly appearing in Tommy's doorway. Tommy jumped to defend himself, but Tubbo got there first.

"We took an online quiz that said Tommy was a kitten! 'Cat' was an option, but it said that he was a little kitty," he laughed again.

"Oh, don't tease him." Wilbur said, "Those tests are crap anyway, I'm sure there was a question you misunderstood or something." he claimed as he came closer to them, standing behind the two chairs as he looked at Tommy's monitor. He could tell that the teasing was making Tommy a bit uncomfortable.

He didn't know why for sure, figuring that it had something to do with being called a 'kitten' feeling to childish for him. "Maybe," Tommy agreed, looking up to Wilbur thankfully. Tubbo must've realized that he accidentally upset Tommy when Wilbur intervened and Tommy immediately seemed relieved, because the next thing he did was apologize.

"I'm sorry, Tommy," he spoke up. "I was just teasing, I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's all good," Tommy smiled a bit, shrugging, feeling a little better with the reassurance that it was all just a joke. "Most of the tests were crap anyways."

The three of them shifted their conversation to other topics, making their way out to the kitchen to eat the food Wilbur made. Later on, they all gathered up blankets and pillows and snacks to watch movies in the living room.

Tommy was a little worried that the Disney movie Wilbur picked would make him go into littlespace, but that seemed to be the least of his worries as they tried to figure out their cuddling positions for the movie. Of course, they didn't need to cuddle, but it seemed that they all silently agreed that they would be.

"I wanna lay down," Tommy whined, re positioning a pillow near one end of the couch.

"Come here, you crybaby," Wilbur ordered, grabbing his arm. Tubbo was curled up to Wilbur's side, one of the older mans arms around him as he settled into the warmth of the embrace.  Wilbur guided him into laying down so that his head was in his lap, a few layers of soft fabric between their skin.

Tommy didn't fight against this, blushing just a bit as he curled up, letting Wilbur lay a blanket over him. "Is this okay?" he asked in a soft voice, looking down as him. Tommy nodded softly, glancing up at him for a moment before he looked away shyly. Why was he so bashful right now?

"Cuddly," he mumbled simply, settling into the position mindlessly. Wilbur seemed pretty amused by this, using his nails to scratch his scalp, the action not unlike how he'd scratch a kitten's head if one curled up in his lap. Again, Tommy didn't protest, leaning into the touch a bit.

Wilbur continued doing things like this as the movie played, sitting back and lightly petting the boy. He'd play with his hair, or run his fingers over his skin in simple patterns. It was just a cute way of showing affection, and the blonde teenager seemed to enjoy.

Meanwhile, Tommy was holding back kittenspace and trying to focus on the childish movie. His petspace was voluntary, to his knowledge. But Wilbur treating him like a cat, giving him the simple affection he's secretly wanted for so long, made him want to regress to the state of a kitty so bad. He was halfway there already.

He just wished that he could put on his little cat ears. He always looked to cute when he did.

His friends did notice that he stayed very quiet throughout the movie, not really replying to their joked or adding onto their commentary of the movie. They didn't say anything, though, assuming that he was just sleepy earlier than usual, joking amongst themselves as the plot of the movie played out on the screen.

At one point near the end of the movie, Wilbur reached over and scratched the patch of hair closest to Tommy's ear, earning a hum from him. It sounded much closer to a kitten's pur, which shocked Wilbur. He looked over to Tubbo, leaning close to him and whispering, "He really is a little kitten, huh?" as he continued to scratch his scalp.

Toby giggled a bit, nodding in agreement. Tommy seemed to suddenly realize what he was doing when Wilbur pulled his hand away for the time being, cutting out his low hum and burying his now-red face in the blankets across Wilbur's lap.

Wilbur could help but think about how cute he looked doing that, immediately feeling the need to cuddle the boy close and protect him.

Eventually the credits started rolling, and Wilbur told the boys to get off of him. Tubbo did it with little complaining, stretching a bit and standing up with a yawn. Tommy, however, completely lost in his kitten space as this point, whined, pouting.

"I know you're comfy, and probably sleepy, but it's time to get up, Toms." Wilbur told him, fighting against the urge to just push him off the couch. Yes, it'd be funny, but it'd also be mean. Wilbur didn't wanna upset him.

When Tommy didn't reply, remaining curled up with his head in Wilbur's lap, the pet his head softly once again, pushing back the blanket that laid over him a bit. Immediately, Tommy switched his position so that he was laying on his back, swiping his hand at Wilbur's, scratching him a bit.

Like a playful kitten.

Wilbur gasped, seemingly confused as he tilted his head. He dropped the blanket, pulling the attacked hand to his chest defensively. Tommy didn't hurt him all the much but he did just try to scratch him in response to his blanket be taken away. It was funny, and cute, but also confusing. "Ouch! Why'd you do that?" Wilbur asked, pulling his hand away immediately.

Tommy pouted up at him, not knowing exactly how to verbally apologize. He decided on his next actions, rolling over so that he was on his stomach and stretching out. He then adjusted himself so that he was on his knees and hands, looking at Wilbur with a slight head tilt.

There was still a clear pout on his face, his eyes innocent and cute. "What are you doing?" Wilbur chuckled, not understanding his behavior. He couldn't blame all these absolutely adorable actions on being sleepy, surely. He was acting like a kitten, undeniably.

"He's a kitten!" Tubbo said, coming closer to him and scratching Tommy's head. Tommy nuzzled into his hand as he leaned into the touch. "Pet regression," he remembered the name for it, saying it suddenly a few moments later. "I thought Tommy might've been a little but I didn't know about this."

"What?" Wilbur questioned, only more confused than before.

"I think Tommy's an age regressor, and a pet regressor, too, apparently," Tubbo looked to Tommy for some sort of confirmation. Tommy nodded a bit, shyly, confirming both of his guesses. "He can revert back to the state of a child, and also a kitten! He's in a cat-like headspace, so he's going to act like a baby kitty." Tubbo giggled, wiggling his fingers over Tommy's head and watching as he swatted at it. Toby pulled his hand away at the last second.

"I researched age regression because Tommy was acting a bit childish during a late night call a while back, and came across petre too," Tubbo added. "I was planning on asking him about the little thing while I was here, actually."

Tommy didn't know that Tubbo already knew. If anyone could've guessed, it would've been him. They were best friends. He'd call him a lot when upset, or stressed, to talk about what was bothering him. It wasn't a shock that the main person who saw him when he needed something to help him feel better had started to pick up on the traits that hinted toward the coping skill he used to feel better.

Wilbur seemed to understand. For whatever reason, Tommy liked acting like a cat. It was a sort of headspace that he could get into, that Wilbur must've accidentally triggered. Tubbo continued to play with and pet Tommy, explaining the basics of both age regression and pet regression to Wilbur.

"They can both be done for coping, voluntarily or involuntarily. It seems that all the cuddling and petting made him slip. I think he's nonverbal, too, at least as a kitten," Tubbo said, running his fingers through Tommy's hair. At some point, Tommy had sat down, still playing along and swiping at his hands here and there. Tubbo seemed so excited to play with him, and that made him happy!

"Agere and petre can intersect, too. So he might just act childlike with kitten-qualities mixed in," Tubbo continued to explained. "There's also pet gear and little gear, stuff you use when you get into those headspaces. Do you have any of that, kitty?"

Tommy nodded a bit, reaching over and pressing on Wilbur's shoulder, as if telling him to follow as he stood up. He didn't like traveling on all fours all the time in kittenspace, and would only crawl short distances. Otherwise, he would just walk like he would usually. Maybe skip, if he was in a good mood.

Wilbur followed his nonverbal request, following the two teenagers to Thomas's bedroom. Tommy dropped to the floor next to his bed, Tubbo following suit. Tommy pulled out one of the boxes, Toby grabbing the other. "So what is pet and little gear for?" Wilbur asked, curiously.

"I'm sure Tommy will be willing to tell you more when he's up to talking," Tubbo's words earned a slight nod as the regressor opened the box. "But it's basically stuff to help you according to the headspace your in. Comfort items, childish things for littlespace, stuff to make you feel more like a pet for petre."

"Like cat ears or collars for kittyspace!" he added with a chuckle as Tommy pulled those items out of the box, waving them around as an example. His cat ears were all on headbands. He had white and orange ones, black ones with little ribbons, another set with little bells, he didn't know which ones he wanted.

Tubbo realized that his box was little gear, sliding it back under the bed and focusing on Tommy, who seemed happy.

He bounced in place a bit, very excited and playful now, despite being sleepy before. He was happy! When Tubbo believed that his friend might've been different, instead of judging him, he researched a ton and then jumped in to help him when he needed it. And Wilbur, who didn't completely understand what was happening, was still being supportive, just asking questions.

He thought that they were gonna weird about it, or judge him. But here Tubbo was, playing with him and answering questions for him because he understood his nonverbalism. "When will he be....not a cat, anymore?" Wilbur pondered.

"Depends. Regression can last a few minutes to a few days, who knows. But while he's like this, we should make him comfortable, don't ya think?"

Wilbur hummed a bit. He could ask more questions later, directly to his friend that actually experienced this stuff and would be able to tell him more. For now, he'd do his best to make Tommy comfortable, like Toby had said.

Tommy grabbed the cat ears with the bells, white furred ones with pink inside the ear, little pink bows and gold bells on them. He shook it in his hand, like a rattle, listening to the music it made. He made a squeak that sounded suspiciously like a "meow", before giggling. "Did you cat those ears, Tommy?" Wilbur asked, softly taking the headband from him.

Tommy pouted, nodding as the ears were taken from his very pa- hands. He wasn't actually a kitten, he had human hands. He giggled at his own thoughts, snapping out of it when he felt the headband slip onto his head. Wilbur adjusted it.

"There." he stopped after a second, looking him up and down. "You're adorable," he complimented. Tommy blushed, smiling. He looked back down to the box, pulling out a white choker, which had another pink ribbon in the front, with a larger, silver bell hanging from it. He immediately put it on, fiddling with the bell.

"Did you wanna change? There's some clothes in that box," Tubbo asked. As expected, Tommy didn't verbally reply, digging through his box and pulling out a white adult onesie, designed to resemble a real baby one. It was plain, with pink lining, obviously picked out to go with the choker and cat ears.

"Aww," Wilbur cooed, immediately. "You want the onesie, sweetheart?"

Tommy nodded a bit, also grabbing pastel pink shortalls. He might've been happy, and seemingly comfortable, but he was not walking around in just a onesie. "That'll look cute together," Tubbo approved of his outfit choice. Tommy grabbed a few more things from the box, either setting it in a pile, or holding it in his arms.

He left to go to the bathroom, pushing the box back under the bed and leaving without another word. "What all did he pull out?" Tubbo asked, looking to the pile with curiosity.

"A stuffed kitten," Wilbur stated, looking at the white stuffed toy. "It seems that he dressed up to look like this toy," he chuckled. Tubbo laughed, too. "Uh, there's a ball of yarn, and a little white ball?" he sounded curious, picking it up. Quickly, Wilbur realized that it rattled.

"Oh, he likes things that make sounds," Tubbo reasoned. "Rattles and bells. That's cute," Tubbo smiled. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, a pink scarf." Wilbur replied. "Does he just play with anything?" he laughed.

"Isn't that what actual cats do? They scratch at and play with anything in sight," Tubbo joked.

"Fair enough."

They kept talking until they heard shuffling by the door. There, stood Tommy, clad in his cute little, perfectly planned-out outfit. Just his presence earned coos from his friends, who immediately complimented him. "You look so adorable, kitten!" Wilbur said, motioning him over. Tommy approached them, dropping to his knees and hands when he got close to them, 'pouncing' across the carpet.

He giggled, returning to his previous sitting position next to his pile, grabbing the stuffed kitty. "You look just like your toy, y'know." Tubbo told him. Tommy smiled wide, as if he was proud of this fact, nodding quickly. He wore knee-high socks with his out, white and pink striped to match the rest of the outfit. It seemed he took pride in color-coordinated, cute outfits, unlike when he was in his usual headspace. He usually just threw on a baseball shirt and jeans.

"She kitty, and m' kitty too," he mumbled, speaking for the first time since entering his kitten space earlier that day. He didn't talk much in kittenspace, he always had to pull himself into an "in-between" headspace to do so, but he could if he wanted or had to.

"Aww, the kitty can talk. Yes, you are both very adorable kittens," Wilbur cooed from his spot next to the regressor, wrapping his arms around him. Tommy melted into the embrace, nuzzling the side of his face into the part of Wilbur closest to him, his arm.

Tubbo didn't interrupt their moment, waiting for one of them to speak. After a bit of silent cuddling, Wilbur spoke up. "How about we all move back to the living room and set up a little play area for you, yeah? I'll turn on some cartoon, and make some snacks, and we can have fun until bedtime. Does that sound nice, kitty?"

He swayed in place a bit, moving Tommy with him. Tommy nodded excitedly. "Snuggles," he mumbled when Wilbur pulled away from their hug, pouting. "Snuggle me! M' a cute kitty!" he giggled, pointing to himself. He scrunched his nose a bit.

Tubbo and Wilbur knew that the boy was very different off camera. Sometimes, he was still loud, and cursed a lot, but others, he was chill. And apparently, he could be soft sometimes, too.

"I have no doubt about that," Wilbur chuckled, tapping the button of his nose with his index finger, Tommy swatted at it, a bit confused on what to do next when he successfully got ahold of his finger. He put his other 'paw' around it too, dragging his hand to his mouth and biting on his finger.

Wilbur pulled back his hand quickly, shocked. "Bad kitten! We don't bite," he scolded, tapping his head lightly with his hand. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to let him know that he wasn't supposed to do what he just did. Tommy pouted again, his eyes immediately glossing over.

Again, he felt like he couldn't verbally apologize, to upset to pull himself out of headspace enough to talk. This frustrated him and only upset him more. He took the hand he had bit by the wrist, nuzzling his hand into it.

The main difference between Tommy in kittenspace and a real kitten is that he still had, at the very least, a child's level of emotional intelligence. Which meant that he was able to tell when people were upset with him. And he didn't like it when someone was upset with him.

He didn't have kitty teeth! Which meant that his bites hurt a lot more then a kitten's, he reasoned mentally. Wilbur was upset because he hurt him. Cuddles would make it all better, because cuddles made all boo-boos better, he decided.

"Oh, you're okay, baby," Wilbur assured, scratching at his scalp and playing with his hair again. "You didn't really hurt me," he said, as if he was able to read his mind. "You don't need to cry, little kitty."

Tommy kept nuzzling his hand, blinking away his unshed tears. Tubbo leaned close to Wilbur, whispering into his ear.

"Call him a good kitten."

Wilbur nodded, figuring that that made sense. Wilbur had reassured Tommy in every other sense, but he was still guilty. There was a good chance that his emotional response was to the term "bad kitten!".

"You're such a sweet, good kitten."

As predicted, his head perked up at that. He tilted his head, as if to ask 'really?'. "A very adorable, sweet baby kitten," Wilbur ran his fingers through Tommy's hair, his words and affection earning a smile from the pet regressor. "Let's gather up these toys and go set up in the living room, kay? Is there anything else that you need?"

Tommy nodded shyly, crawling over to the edge of his bed and pulling out the little box. He located a light pink plastic item, holding it up. "No more bitin'," he said, slipping the adult pacifier into his mouth. It only added to the childish look.

Wilbur and Tubbo smiled at him. Wilbur was glad that he picked the right cuddling position that somehow led to this, and Toby was glad that he did all that research over the past few weeks. And they were all glad they had planned this one week meet up.

They moved out to the living room, where they played and watched cartoons late into the night. The following morning, Tommy thanked the two of them for everything, and they had an honest conversation about it, telling them everything. How long he had been regressing, both for little and kitten space, how often he did it, when he got all the little and kitten gear.

Wilbur and Tubbo asked a ton of questions, and Tommy answered every single one. Over the next week, between streams and video-filming, Tommy would regress and let his friends learn more about little him, and kitty him. Who Wilbur and Tubbo started calling 'Tom-Tom', by the way.

Eventually, Wilbur would become Tommy's caregiver and handler, after babysitting him over discord calls many, many times. All thanks to that one week visit.

Tommy was so glad he ended up slipping that night, even if it was inconvenient at first. Everything worked out in the end, and he wouldn't change the events of that night if he could.  

It all led to him being Wilbur's 'good kitten'.

--

A/N: let me know if you have requests for any agere/age dreaming/pet regression fics involving some of the DreamSMP members, lmk! I may not write it, due to not knowing to much about a specific youtuber or being uncomfy w/the prompt, but I always love hearing ideas! Please leave feedback/your thoughts on this in the reblogs/replies/my ask box too, I definitely would like to hear them! I hope y'all enjoyed, I spent a while writing this and I hope it makes *someone* happy!

-Apple

[grazieschillivera]

Bad Liar

Summary: You and the boys have to spend the Night somehwere in the nowhere because of a failed mission.Billy is pissed and blames you for their situation, thats when you want to know what his problem is

Word count: ca.2500

,,Anal Wanderer.'' you said breaking the long silence in the car, that lasted since you had ran to the car to flee from your failed mission.

The original plan was to get information from a supe, whose hero career was is total flop, but Vought somehow had managed to know about your plan and almost catched you ,when you left the supe's house.The question whose fault that was would be a huge discussion later on - you had a feeling for that.

,,What?'' asked Billy, who only gave you a brief glance before he continued his grumpy look on the street. Eyerolling you looked outside of your window again, getting the ungood feeling your attempt to light up the mood wasn't about to work out.

,,My sister and I used to do that ,when we would do our vacations on caravan places.Always putting the word 'anal' before every caravan's name.'' you said already searching for another good one from all the caravans your car passed on the huge camping place.Even though you managed to get rid off Vought, Billy decided that he had no interest in driving for another six hours , he wanted to sleep.

,,Oh Anal Open Gear.'' said Hughie from behind, slightly giggeling.

,,Anal Pegasus.'' you added pointning outside.

,,Are we driving with two fucking kids?'' Billy asked M&M , looking to him through the mirror, above him, earning an unimpressed ''Yep''.

,,I got almost killed.I'm just trying to light up the mood, even though I have a reason not to do that.'' you said to Billy.

,,You wouldn't have to do that if I didn't had to save your ass.'', said Billy.

There was your hint, whose fault ist might be for the rather failed misson.

,,Maybe if someone hadn't decided to cancel the plan, I wouldn't have been caught by some stupid soldier fuckers'' said you and turned your glance to him showing your swollen arm to Billy, that had blocked a hit with the gun on his head from him.It wasn't that you were only there to cause trouble.

You could still feel the pain in your head, from being smashed on to the ground multiple times, when you fought back, and the weakness in your knees, that first came up ,when Billy helped you up and brought you to the car.

With a kick down on the brake the car stood still forcfully and you thought Billy had stoped to start screaming at you but he didn't.He just went out of the car and was gone.You were on a free place now, some meters away from the rest of the caravans.When you went also outside ,the silence continued, the only things you heared were Hughie and M&M talking and the Ocean.

,,Fuck.'' you said to yourself, when you realised that you wanted to apologize to Billy but also had no interest in giving in.

M&M was the first that went to sleep, when you arrived it already was sunset.After the last orange clouds were gone Hughie also went to sleep, after he had tried to distract you a bit from the situation with Billy and the fact that someone almost killed you.But without much success.You liked Billy but sometimes you could really punch him in the face and the shook still run through your body, when you thought about it.You knew you didn't even had to try go to sleep.

You followed the little path and the sounds of crushing waves, until you reached some small hills.The whole beach started to spread underneath you.You just searched for a nice place to sit, when you noticed Billy, sitting only some meters away from you.The first idea that crossed your mind was to just ignore him, since he still seemed pissed, but then you decided otherwise.

,,From a scale from one to ten – how much of a cunt am I to you?'' you asked when you sat down next to him, offering him one of your cigaretts, even tough he just had finished one.

,,You're not a cunt.'' he said, after he had decided to accept your offering.,,You're just fucking emotional.'' said he once he had lighted his cigarette and gave you his lighter.

,,What do you mean?'' you asked ,reaching out for it.

,,Listen when I mess up the plan then cause the plan actually sucks.But you always seem to mess up, cause you try to fix every upcoming problem.'' Billy said.

With raised eyebrows you took a drag.

,,Too caring huh? Didn't know that might be a bad thing.You're the one, who started this whole team thing.'' you said still in a calm tone, due to Billy's composure.

,,Yeah but I trust everyone, that he wont mess up except you.You just run to everyone trying to do his job.'' said Billy.

,,You mean for example preventing you from getting knocked out?Its not that I had something else to do than protecting your asses.'' you said.Billy just grumbled.

,,You think I can't do better, right?'' you asked, but deep down knew the answer.

,,See here is the thing.You're not a supe nor ,pardon, very strong.If I hadn't knocked this cunt out, you might wouldn't be here.We didn't take you as an all-around wonder, just someone for the technical work.'' Billy said.

,,And yet you took me with you for this mission.There must be some other reason, cause I had no direct job today.You're a bad liar.'' you said and threw your cigarett in the sand.

,,Careful love, I fear you're not in the position to call me that, when you're doing an awfull job of hiding your emotions.'', said Billy.,,And there we have it again.'' he added and took another drag.

Then again silence.That was again for you a sign ,that some topics could be discussed untill the end with Billy.Sometimes you had to find your answer on your own.

,,I hope when this is all over, I can find something near the beach.I could spend hours listen to the waves crashing down and looking up in the night sky.'' you said.

,,Maybe you should talk to the Fishhero, when we meet him again.'' said Billy, not really intrested in admiring this place.

You laughed unintenionally.

,,God that sounded like a possible answer from one of those quizzes to get to know which Hero would be your match.'' you said.

Billy had to snort.,,Please tell me you have a good excuse to know ,that some bullshit like this exists.''

,,Its just that Annie and I discussed which 90s singer would be our match – that had to be claryfied.It was Eddie Vedder'' you added when you had stood up.

,,Eddie Vedder, huh?Ahh careful with the arm'' said Billy, stoping in his cocky answer, when you leaned on your arm, to stand up from the sand.He stood up before you could,to take his offered hand.

,,I'm not out of glass.'' you said.,,Its the other arm, by the way.Left handed.The ones who are more creative'' you added with a smirk on your lips.

,,Right.Maybe that's the reason you should fuck Eddie Vedder'' said Billy scratching behind his ear.

,,Or the reason why I'm actually good in adapting to your off- plan actions.'' you said back, earning a silent grin from Billy.

,,So no night swimming for us than?'' he asked having a last glance at the water.

,,I'm way too hungry for that, but you can come and join me.'' you said.

,,I fear I don't have enough money left for that.'' Billy said.

,,Pity, I can't give you money.The boss hates it when I care about our colleagues.'' you said but gave him a smile and nod to follow him.

,,Boss?Could get used to you calling me that way.'' he said with a smirk, when you both started your walk.

Since Hughie and M&M already sleeped in the car, you both had to walk to the next diner.You remembered that you saw one, only a mile away from the caravan place.To your suprise the diner was also half of a karaoke bar.When you read the shop sign, you weren't sure to go inside but your stomach told you, that listening to bad singing was the smallest problem right know.Fortunatly it turned out that the almost the whole dinner was empty, leaving a small chance of hearing any singing.

You just enjoyed eating something properly and the peaceful athmosphere until your left arm ran into the table and the small pain forced you back into the memories from today.A blackout almost reached every brain cell from you until you remembered how Billy thought about you and you forced yourself too become calm again.Besides you didn't want that – to be scarred to life just because of some idiots.

Your gaze wandered across the diner and Billy.He was right, maybe, if he hadn't saved you today, god knows where you would have ended.With that on your mind you stood up from the table.

Billy had noticed your changed behavior and had a look on you when you went away, thinking you just needed some time alone.He even noticed how he thought about following you, just in case you couldn't calm down by yourself, but when you stoped at the little stage instead of the restrooms he freezed in his motion to stand up, just to sit back again in defeat.

And his fears turned out to be right, when a song started only seconds after.

You focused on the upcoming beat and high pitched voice from your low key favourite song ,,She is on my mind'' and ignored every negative thought, that came up.The next thing you felt was how you had started to sing, even before you noticed it and how your body swinged to the music.Full of disbelieve you looked into the small crowd, spreaded across the diner tables.No one seemed to really like your singing but that didn't stop you from having your fun on the small stage.You sometimes even dared to look at Billy, but you were far to buys to try to understand what kind of look he gave you right now.

When the song was over you made an exaggerated bow and walked back to Billy , acting as if nothing had happened.

,,Maybe you and Starlight could start a girls group.Didn't know you were into that stuff, since your cheeks already turn red when you order something to eat.'' Billy said when you had paid for the food and walked back to the car.

He had a point there, you could still feel your hot cheeks, or rather again.

,,I don't know.Maybe I'll regret to did that.I just had no interest in falling into a black pit just because of today...I just wanted to use my time again.'' you said in defense.

,,With doing something totaly stupid?'' asked Billy with a grin in your direction.

,,No.Doing something I always wanted to do but never dared to.'' you admitted.

,,See there it is again.Those little things no one else really does in our group, you're even worser than Hughie.'' Billy said.

,,But you like Hughie.'' you said with no effort in suppressing your smile.

,,Oi would you stop that.'' said Billy stoping in his walking and giving you a serious look.,,I tell you what.I'll kiss you when you promise me to stop putting you in danger all the time, alright?'' he asked.

Just as Billy mentioned the word 'kiss' you could feel the blood shot up in your cheeks.Your heart beat even harder against your breast, when you had answered immediatly, knowing damn well that he just wanted to tease you.

,,You think this is a good deal?'' you asked with too much mocking in your words for your liking afterwards,when you saw how Billy leaned himself against the nearest wall of a building, already all confident.

,,You will have to tell me that love.'' he said with his familar smirk on his lips.

You steped over to him and with every step closer to him you could see how his smirk widened while his eyes stayed curiously on you.Your breast almost brushed his open jacket, when you stood infront of him and looked up at his lips, savouring this moment.Because you knew that would be the first and last chance.

,,Maybe thats a good deal.'' you said.,,Didn't know you could be so generous.'' Those words made him smile once again.At first your body flinched once Billy laid his hand carefully on your waist and even though your heart skipped one beat after another, you liked this.

,,Didn't know you could be such a tease.'' he said, when you had pulled away and leaned against his grip around you, that stayed.His fingers drew small circles on your back when he eyed you up.

,,Not a tease.I just sayed no '' you said and turned around to walk out of his grip.

,,Clearly not.I would do an even bader job in this group than now, I don't think I want that.'', you said referring back to his offer and continued your walk but Billy wasn't done with you.

,,Try again.Dont you think I hadn't noticed?'' Billy asked to stop you from walking any further.,,Your looks and how you act.You might fool everyone else but I fucking know that if you follow someone like a little pup into every stupid situation you love that person... or you're just Hughie , and you're not Hughie.'' he added the last part with an eyeroll but still more serious than the rest of the night.

And even though the last part made you smile for Hughies loyality , you freezed on your spot once more, as Billy said that.

He pushed himself away from the wall and crossed the distance to you.Your eyes were filled with guilt and you had no defense to offer.

,,Listen I don't think I want this.I fear I'm not good at protecting people.I mean just take a fucking look at your arm.Nor am I a good partner.So just let me kiss you that you can come over all this fucking lovesickness and we can go back to work.'' he said.

Each word punched you in your stomach, until you stood there with tearfilled eyes.That was enough for you to grab him by his neck and kiss him,finally showing that you wasn't the only liar.

Your lips moved together and you felt that when you wanted to move back, Billy stoped you by planting his hands on your waist and held you even closer.After some seconds you leaned back and looked up at him.His eyes were never so full of warmness before.

,,You are the worst liar I know Billy.'' you said after you could find your voice again, still standing infront of him, waiting for his reaction.

One of his hands carresed your cheek, he had to grin at your words, but this time it faded away instantly.

,,What am I gonna do with you?'' he said while eyeing you up deep in thoughts.

,,For now.Fucking keep me.'' you said demandingly but still with a smile on your lips, now that you gained a bit of hope again.

,,Just fucking promise me to take better care of you.'' he said before he pulled you back in his embrace, as if you were about to vanish otherwise.In that moment you both realised your dilema and cursed it, while you also enjoyed the truth.

[anxiouslyfred]

Stubborn Words

Summary: Remus can’t get the words to work for this years letter to his soulmate so he decides to colour instead. He is not expecting to see those pictures framed on the wall of his friend’s home the next time he visits.

/\/\

The soulmate letters were a waste of time, if you asked Remus at least. You couldn't share any personal information or even anything that could remotely help your soulmate to find you and generally that meant people could only write vague descriptions of what's happening in their lives or recount specific situations with everything from names to place descriptions edited into nothing. Completely pointless for getting to know anyone, let alone somebody as important as your soulmate was meant to be.

Instead Remus decided to throw the entire 'getting to know you' idea out of the window and just write a story instead. As long as everything was fictional then it would get sent and he had a long list of stories people around him refused to listen to. Each year he could perfect at least one, but more often a few, stories to send off for his soulmate to read.

They even went along with it, usually replying with stories of how his letter had helped over the year, and occasions where they'd used something from Remus's stories to end an uncomfortable conversation. It was a fun exchange to get that kind of feedback in return and he loved it.

Words weren't working for Remus this year though and he hated it.

They felt clunky or fell flat. The descriptions were forced and nothing seemed to fit with the images in his head. It was a battle to get a sentence written and even then Remus felt like he had lost it.

So he turned to paints, to colour, and just let his hands rush over the pages, trying to capture the images in his thought in any form, even one he wouldn't usually turn to.

The first page that Remus covered in colour showed a vague figure in a fighting stance. It was blurry, made mostly of shadows and coloured shapes but clearly there, as were fallen forms of other people and he just had to carry on colouring, and find out what other forms might appear on a new page.

The style carried on with no outlines and it surprised Remus as much as it thrilled him to see an actual story growing on the pages.

He didn't need words this year to share a story with his soulmate. 

/Let's visit a Friend's house\

Virgil had been friends with Remus for years, and he could only describe that friendship as an adventure, but they'd never spoken about their soulmates at all. It had put Virgil on edge when Roman had spent a month quizzing everyone he met on insignificant details his soulmate had mentioned, and that had been the time when he'd met Remus. The other had picked up on it and decided they shouldn't talk soulmates unless Virgil wanted to bring it up, which would never happen.

Now however he was beginning to think perhaps talking about their soulmates, or at least the letters they sent would have been a good idea.

At the very least it might explain why his friend has been frozen in the doorway of his home for 5 minutes, just staring at the picture he'd framed.

His soulmate had sent something of a comic strip this year and instead of carrying it with him to read in times when the pressure got too much, Virgil had decided to frame the pages and hang them around the entrance and hallway of his home. Now he could move to work out excess energy and lose himself in his soulmates story at the same time, with the added benefit that the pictures wouldn't risk being damaged from getting carried around.

Virgil did not anticipate having a friend frozen in his doorway as a problem that might come from hanging pictures up. Actually it had been one action he couldn't think of causing any problems at all so this was very concerning.

“Remus, I really would like to y'know, shut my door sometime today?” He tried asking again. He'd been ignored the first time he spoke, but now had a wild and lost gaze snapping onto his face.

Before he could ask what was wrong, Remus had pulled him into a hug, arms under his so Virgil was hanging in the air. “It's you. It's actually you! I dreamed and wondered so many times, but thought you'd be uncomfortable but it is really really you!” The words were muttered into his hair, almost trilling, like a song and a whisper joined together.

“Yes, it's the wonderful, worthless Virgil. You've known me for years, so is this a Remus method to say we haven't hung out enough or is there something else happening?” Virgil tried to pat his back, hoping to be put down, or at the very least given an explanation over what was happening. Somehow this didn't seem to purely be about the pictures any more and Virgil was not letting his thoughts go in that direction any further.

“No! Well Yes! Definitely! All the Hangouts, hook-ups, catch-ups, movie nights, everything! I need everything, every minute you'll let me be around and I'm gonna be here.” Remus was bouncing them now, as well as twisting his head every which way to try and look at Virgil while still tightly holding him close. “It's YOU! You're my soulmate! My wonderful story reader! Wait, have I been the cause for you hiding in my stories? I'll stop if things are too much for you, you know that right?”

He was suddenly put down, his friend now very concerned and searching his face but Virgil was still a few steps behind in the conversation. His soulmate was Remus? Actually, really Remus, this mad, energetic Remus, 'jumps from subject to subject faster than blinking but somehow knows when to just slow down and let Virgil zone out for a while if he's struggling' Remus?

But the door was still open and Remus was looking increasingly concerned and upset the longer Virgil tried to process that revelation. They didn't need an audience of any passers by for this scene so that became the immediate concern, turning away from his friend to shut and lock the door. Usually Virgil wouldn't lock it when guests were over but he was more focused on having security for the moment.

“You already do that before I even say anything Remus. I know.” Virgil said first, another glance to him showing that Remus had been wriggling uncomfortably in place since asking his last question.

He didn't say anything more though, heading through to his living room since he'd be laying on the floor if he didn't sit down soon. The table was at least clear so he could have a good perch to continue the conversation from.

Remus had followed him through just flopping onto the ground and staring up at him now. “Soulmate?” He asked.

“Yeah, I erm, was that why you were complaining about words being useless last month? Because you were struggling to write a story for me?” The memory had jumped into Virgil's mind from the last time they met. He'd listened to Remus brainstorming ideas a lot of their friendship, but knew, now completely, that from the things Remus would chat about with him to the stories that actually got written everything could change.

“Stupid things didn't co-operate at all. Your letters always talk about how my stories help so I just wanted to write something, give a story somehow. I loved it when the colours decided to tell the story the words ran away from.” He grumbled, pulling a face again at the issues he'd had trying to write.

Virgil snickered. “Look at it this way, you'd never have realised we're soulmates without having the change in what you sent.” It still felt unreal, but the more Remus mentioned the things he'd written in reply, the more he could believe they really are soulmates.

“I'm not going to thank my words for going on strike if that's what you're aiming for.” Remus stuck his tongue out, but grinned a second later. “You know, I could just move in and we can start figuring out who we are as soulmates with that.”

If they hadn't been friends for years, it wouldn't even be a consideration. If Remus hadn't shown time and time again an astute understanding of what helped when Virgil got stressed, anxious or simply upset, it still wouldn't be likely. But they had been and he had proven it, and Virgil found himself nodding. “Just separate rooms. You can have my spare room and if we want to change that later we can talk about it then.”