#yea this is the best one yet
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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Hello!! Been a while since I sent an ask, back during your peak milk cookie phase 🫣. Your TWSB art are a blessing to my eyes (tho I haven't read yet, it's on my list).
I see you're using procreate now!! Your lines are just extra krispy, I was wondering if it'd be ok to ask what brushes you use?
OH HELLO!! MY PEAK MILK COOKIE PHASE AMDBSKD I NEED TO DRAW HIM AGAIN MY SOUL YEARNS FOR IT. 😫 AND TY FOR LIKING MY TWSB ARTS and for having it on ur list🫣🤭 hehe... all according to plan...
and thats right!! ive been trying to get used to using procreate and not just phone lately! I also recently bought a foam tube after reading this post and its been hard to adjust to but hopefully this helps in the long run🫠 (getting off topic)
BRUSHES... YES OFC TY FOR ASKING. i wanted to talk about it. I've been using the syrup brush (with stabilization turned down to 13%) for everything, lining and coloring/rendering! (and use the narinder pencil for sketching). I like that it has a crunchy anti-alias finish that gives it a pixelly look when zoomed in LOL
i used to use the gelsinki ink for lining but lately switched to the syrup one and find it easier to use mfbfn i used gelsinki ink to line these:
#ask#that brown hair jung yeseo bday art is the last one i used gelsinki ink on kdjfnd#now syrup brush is my new best friend#BUT IMPORTANTLY W THE SMOOTHING TURNED DOWN#I USED TO HATE IT BC THE DEFAULT SMOOTHING MADE IT SO SLOW AND HARD TO CONTROL#AND THEN IT DAWNED ON ME TO JUST TURN IT DOWN LMAO#oh and yea as u can see these r all default brushes cmdnfn#itd be nice to find good custom brushes tho#but idk#I HAVENT POSTED THAT HERB COOKIE PIECE YET SO ENJOY THAT SNEAK PEEK LOL
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The good old brainrot has been very real so have a 5min Sanji costest 🚬💀
#haha hello op fandom how are we doin#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#one piece#anniilaugh#cosplay#costest#Yet another angsty smoking blonde idiot from a series as old as time you say? Hell yea#I’d love to cosplay him for real but urgh making suits not my forte. Closet cos sometime maybe..?#I should reeeeally be sleeping#2AM is the best time for these I swear
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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hi I kinda miss the feeling of being in love okay bye
#look i blame the renee rapp songs right they r making me feel things#and its 4 am and im still working away on school shit#but um ayun. i dunno my friends like to call me the most emotionally unavailable person alive which is true!#because like i have my responsibilities and this has been quite the fucking year#so like as much as i treat dating apps as my past time like i have no intention on anything serious or committed because like yea#but also i have been in love once not too long ago. and i miss that that feeling was all i cared about - compared to like i dunno adulthood#and yet here i am at a cafe at 4 am typing away trying my best to keep myself awake#so woo anyways yea i blame the spotify recap for this#personal shit#like i dont miss the person- just the feeling of like allowing myself to indulge in something i can potentially call mine#i dunno how to describe it but yea#anyways do u guys think i should order one more coffee cup
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why was dylan a smash hit on both here and bsky. get em king
#i do really like dylan's design it's probably one of my best 'simple yet effective' designs.#i feel like his general vibe is clear from his outfit alone. which yea i usually try to subtly go for but w/ dylan the energy feels blunt#so that's not a positive or a negative just smth i noticed#and the outfit itself works the more modern fantasy + late 90's/early 2000's mix i was going for
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yay yippee yay :3 🎉
#just me hi#making things i will never ever show to anybody: 💫💫💥💫💫 pfshvbh#you know when you personal-art so hard it could literally be nuclear if anybody saw it. Yeagh kfhsvhjgs#:3 ehehehe [<- pleased]#i love you writing + art combo. i Am giving you a very deep grave though i won't lie <3#//anyway thought i was gonna get flamed today cuz i wouldn't let my mom look at some doobles i had in my sketchbook lmfsvhghs#gay 😔#but we just went out for snacks and she was just talking about a lot of random stuff lol :) chilling comes out on top yet again 👍💥#//anyway i gotta do some studies ᴗ.ᴗ [<- the urge to do it and the desire to Never Ever]#wanna get better at anatomy :/ and shading lmao :/ [<- does not want to do it so bad]#and also backgrounds :// but one step at a time man i don't know what a lighting is lfmvshj#shaking myself by the shoulders like you are GOING to enjoy it at some point it's not the end of enjoyment forever !!#me n mine are going to argue back and forth about it until i finally get it done so [tosses hands in the air]#hopefully i get to it today :) i haven't been trying to do timelapses this past year but maybe i'll do that when i get around to it :>#getting the funk out of the Lagoons means i realized i have been dropping a lot of things i thought were neat over time and i'm tryna pick#them back up lol :3#downside is that where i was dropping things i was picking up anxiety which is Really Cool and Epic#the Most counterintuitive function of the brain i think. doing their best but man it's like putting a rat in a room made of cheese while#it's pouring rain outside and expecting it not to start chowing down lmaoo#//anyway yea!! my things :33#kinda Do want to do studies now Yippee !!! i win yet again ehe >:3#so toodles ciao pop toodles >wó
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thinkin abt how logan reallyyy doesnt fully grasp how much of a bitch he is. like. hes mean!!! hes got no filter!!!!! then gets surprised when people get pissed off at him!!!! i feel like he doesnt even know that he comes across as someone who sounds like he wants to start a fight, then when someones mean BACK to him hes like. ok well u started it (no they didnt).
and then hes like 'well at least im not as bad as victor' girl u are not the saint u think u are lol
#wolverine#logan howlett#is that the people are using? idk#but yea obv this isnt about every version. just from the ones ive seen so far.#tbh i kinda like it when hes written as mean...this guy is barely a hero and yet its somehow his job#i mean hes also for sure got some awareness that hes not really the best choice for the role#but at the same time he keeps staying the same too#he can be nice and really care about others hes just got a problem with like. teasing? mean comments? poking fun?#and doesnt fully realize that its actually affecting others
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this new AU has taken over my brain
#feral kelly i love u#literally all i have thought about for the last 48 hours#is this AU#letting kelly kill his parents was the best idea i ever had#i had to let him do it at least once yk#he didn’t get to do it in mbz bc by the time the apocalypse started he’d already been estranged from them for a couple of years#also. mbz kelly is very weak lol the poor guy#slaughter house kelly though….. that guy….#yea. he’s somethin#i’m still trying to figure out the like. basics of this AU though#i have the premise down & i mostly know how the boys’ relationship is gonna be but#i’m still trying to figure out how we get there#in particular i’m trying to figure out one specific incident & how kelly managed to get away with it#i have a few ideas but none are solid yet. getting there though.#i need to draw some stuff from this AU immediately#i haven’t quite settled on how dhes looks yet though#rainyrambles
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just saw the 'if ur oc was canon what discourse would there be' post and suddenly i remember that actually i dont want Celia & co to be seen by a large audience.
#Cecio would be woobified#Cecio would be the best & worst bc he would be treated like a baby that did no wrong#and anyone who went “no hes a bad person thats the point” would be hated#'bad representation' slapped on every single charecter#Celia... yea no im glad this is just some ocs in my head#Celia would be framed as a bitch and the true villan but for none of the right reasons#or a girlboss but i doubt it- shes to genderfuckery for that#she would be the woman when ppl talk about hating a female[*] charecter for what you love in a male one#Rametto...#would be made into a femboy. bc nonbinary amabs dont exist and ppl hate trans-femininity#ignoring that they would be happy as a girl/woman if not for the extremely toxic masculinity environment they are in#NEED to write the Rametto travels somewhere fic where she decides to be seen as a girl instead of being openly genderfucky#and is very happy#but yea ppl would ignore how Rametto & Celia are both people who dont fit the gender binary and cannot yet be who they truly are because#of the world around them#also just so few people would engage with the fact that these people live in poverty and in a society structured around denying them the#opportunity to get out#anyway its kinda fun to think of but also ive seen to many fandoms to not know how it would go and i dont like it
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What it’s like to plan your grocery shopping days and hours while your country is on strike
#my first option would be to wait until we run out of water (so 1/2 days) and then either die from dehydration#orrrr risk it and spend hours on a road that usually takes 10 minutes at best#or wait until tomorrow and hope it will be a bit better#there’s another road than the principal one but I guess everybody that lives nearby is using that today#and it’s so tiny yet two way so it’s very annoying when you cross another car in front of you#so anyway guess I’ll wait for now#and yea you could say this country does protest and strike a lot#but until now it didn’t really reach my town#at least not like that
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Jerrod, we know damn well tyler & u got the same types in men and both of yall are Not included in that, that was a MASSIVE jerror & yall KNOW that. just get dicked down by the 'mysterious' masked man whose identity none of us know (....sure) , him & his giant hands are right there, hugging you in your tidy widies for some reason
#bro got topped one time and is on his knees like girl.. stand up#he did not do that shit out of genuine love and he knows that 😭😭#and YOU know that but you just wanna act like u dont#this is the one out of the many scary things abt coming out the closet#bcs REAL queer relationships havent been had yet at their fullest potential in ur life#u romanticize or underprepare or overprepare for them in a way thatll cripple ur crushes from now on#relationships in general are scary#love is pain yea#but love is also both sides working through the pain because of love#one side wont work on its own#it's a clog that says it fits out of fear of discardment#even though theres a million broken machines out there and a million lonely little parts#or a machine that just wants one#just waiting for its proper piece to find its best work
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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Serenity now
#us heath insurance nonsense#i need a specific test done which I was told is just a blood test yet the package I was given a quote for includes other tests I don't need#and my insurance is like we'll tell you if it's covered after you have it done#and I have one of the best plans#just bro wtf#and out of pocket all that would be $6k and I don't need all that! just a blood test!#so I have to call my specialist Monday to get that sorted because the secretaries only know what's on paper and what's on paper isn't correc#also it took 2 months just for my insurance to tell me 'yea we may or may not cover it' :/#vent
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before I sleep, here is my definitive ranking on all the NPMD songs and some rambles on why I placed them there - also the ranking is based on how much I vibe with them (music production and lyricism have different rankings)
1. Hatchet Town (aka the hatchetfield trilogy theme song like this tune perfectly encapsulates the chaos Hatchetfield has to go through with every Starkid project pos-2018 and I love it - kinda wish it was a number that is more integrated with the plot with the kids tho BUT I REALLY DID LIKE that this melody was quite prominent in the other songs too)
2. High School is Killing Me (I've watched many teen centered musicals and believe me when I say that this song is one of, if not, the best introduction numbers out there for this genre - also it's a really great opening hook for a show)
3. Nerdy Prudes Must Die (FUCKING AMAZING HONESTLY - amazing way to REALLY re-establish a villain back from the dead and to establish the main theme for the nerds here: "I'm Not A Loser" (tho i fucking wish that motif was used a bit more))
4. Just For Once (everyone cheer for Lauren Lopez flexing not just her high tier soprano skills, but also how amazing of a fucking actor she can be like the concept of this song is quite layered and to pull it off both comedically and emphatically takes great lyrical and acting prowess)
5. The Summoning (a well-anticipated onstage introduction to all 5 of the LiB that balances out befuddling neon-entertainment with genuine fucking menace)
7. Cool As I Think I Am Reprise (A FUCKING GENIUS REPRISE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL I FIND THEM RECONTEXTUALIZING THE OG SONG AND IF I LOVED YOU TO FIT THE SITUATION AND BOTH OF THE CHARACTERS GROWTH. LIKE IN TERMS OF THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS WITH CHARQCTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS SONG AND ITS SCENE WOULD BE THE TOP)
6. If I Loved You (I think this song could be a bit more honestly like I know how much Starkid has explored Steph and Pete's relationship in their other projects and I was really hoping that they would have it more portrayed here - however the song is a bop nonetheless and it matches neatly with their themes and the harmonies are top tier. I placed this higher than the next just due to my personal bias like I really do like the song)
8. Dirty Dudes Must Die (A GREAT TWIST THAT MAKES ME WANT ANOTHER MUSICAL ABOUT GRACE CHASITY'S DERANGED SELF - also the new context of the song Grace is reprising here makes her a villain even scarier than MAX of all people but that's just me)
9. Literal Monster (A very catchy beat and well structured song that provides a good introduction to a jock-bully with the god complex. also kinda foreshadowing to nerdy prudes must die)
10. Cool As I Think I Am (the instrumentation reminded me of Dear Evan Hansen ngl fjsjd but it really does sound like an I-Want song from a teen-musical which is of course what they are going for - it sounds very nice and earnest though and I loved how it was utilised in the reprise. However I still fucking wish that the I'm Not A Loser motif was used more)
11. Dirty Girl (look I'm sorry for ranking this quite low on the list but like there is no fucking way I'm using this as bait to lure other people in like they'd be scared away I'm sorry fjdjs BUT I love how Will and Angela perform this though like top tier starkid performances ever - its not just what I would listen to on repeat personally jgjdjs)
12. Go Go Nighthawks! (This one gets plus points because of FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED. otherwise its nice and cheery and perfectly shows how happy everyone is without Max but um I kinda wish it could be a bit more especially in terms of showing how happy the other nerds are now that Max is gone but that's just me)
13. Bully The Bully + Bury The Bully (Look I couldn't decide which was better like they both are the same melodies so like gjxjs these two are cute though and I liked seeing the 5 kids bonding in Bully The Bully since we don't get that many scenes with them)
14. The Best Of You (the pop-punk happy number is a staple of teen-centered musicals and it does really sound nice - just isn't that much of a standout compared to the others.)
#also for the best of you i have like a bone to pick with that one as much as i find it a fun song#but that is once again a rambly critique on how steph was utilized in the show sO WE'LL SAVE THAT BONE FOR ANOTHER DAY#but yea that's my NPMD ranking#the music prod here is on another level honestly#like they stepped up their game here#as for lyricism hmm given the genre it's more or less as I expected - i like it but there are some parts where i expected more#but they did a good job in having nuance in some of their songs like Nerdy Prudes Must Die and Just For Once like those r GOOD DEEP DIVES#hmmm maybe i'll do a full review soon of NPMD to just consolidate all my critiquey rambles#rn it's sittiing at a score of 8.5/10#and is probably my top 3 fav starkid musical of all time - tgwdlm and twisted are top 2 and 1#(i cant say much about black friday yet cause i havent watched it but um i have a feeling it could technically be a tie with npmd)#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#npmd spoilers#starkid
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for the record i love punny fic titles and i think 'Laps in Judgement' is perfect
#going back to my roots in this flight...#did you guys know jeddy was actually my first hp ship ❤#i have all the love for them. also their dynamic is soo fun#and weirdly enough i sort of prefer albus as thr side character than when he's the main one.. esp in fics..#no problem against it but i feel like people try to overexplain his teen angsty shit wuth other reasons than the fact that#he's just a middle child. sorry i have not yet met a middle child that didn't picture themselves in a music video in the rain#anytime they were going through literally just a Situation. my best friend ran away from home (for 2 days) bc he painted his nails n#instead of celebrating it n declaring it a national holiday his mum just went good for u while doing the dishes. he is still embarrassed#anyway yea personally not a fan when people sort of mirror james n albus interactions as james f n severus interactions.#like yes you've got the gryffindor n slytherin but what abt the fact that they are brothers. what do you think about that#and they arent even evil and old yet. you want me to believe james bullies his brother? he saw him when he was a baby. he loves him.#fav dynamic is actually them as brothers. that is all that should be. we've got plenty of sad n doomed in the fandoms.#← hiding my boys so they can take a warm nap while i read abt the marauders Going Through It
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