#yaz is not supposed to be at the back of the group

[swan2swan]

Brooklynn Unboxes: "Actually I Am Not Qualified To Unbox Any of This".

[manchesterau]

helloooo for the fic prompts thing… cat and bear halloween 2009? pls (no pressure) 🐱🐻

thank you anon! i love this prompt!

send fic prompts to keep phan high on the fandometrics pls

quick little halloween gathering fic under the cut 🐱🐻 ! hope you enjoy!

“Do you think I look silly?”

Phil stops in his tracks, turning to give Dan a once over.

If Phil were a little braver he’d say he thought Dan looked hot. The ears, haphazardly done eyeliner, and poorly drawn bear features would have anyone cooing over Dan. It made Phil want to kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, and even though their relationship was way passed the point of just being friendly he still finds himself hesitating when it comes to Dan.

So Phil settles on, “Uh, I think you look adorable.” And tries to stop his heart from beating out of his chest.

Dan rolls his eyes and continues walking. “I’m not trying to look adorable,” he says. “I’m a bear not a bunny.”

Phil runs to catch up with him, it’s night and they’re walking around London without a care in the world. They’re supposed to be meeting up with some friends for the Halloween gathering but Dan wanted to make a quick detour and get some coffee to warm them up.

“Well I think bears are adorable.” Phil mutters, his face is heating up and he hopes with the chill in the air he can blame it on being cold.

Dan bumps their shoulders together, his fuzzy covered hand briefly makes its way into Phil’s, squeezing lightly, and it’s so sudden he can barely react before it’s gone again.

If Phil were as brave as he thought he was he’d reach out and hold Dan’s hand again. Maybe if he were back home in Manchester he’d have kissed him already, but they’re not in Manchester they’re in London. Phil’s only been a hand full of times and while the city is so big and he knows no one is paying them any mind be can’t bring himself to do it. To bridge the gap and make a move, to qualm his beating heart.

He can tell he’s been quiet for too long because Dan taps him on the shoulder.

“You alright?” he asks. He’s giving Phil a look as if he’s scared he’s just done the wrong thing.

Phil quickly shakes his head and smiles. He is happy tonight, his best friend is with him and he’s out in London without his parents or his brother watching over him. Most importantly it’s Halloween, his favorite holiday. Tonight will be a good night, he just knows it will.

“I’m alright,” he says, just as they round the corner and see two zombies and a witch run up to a person dressed as Scooby Doo. Just down the road a bit, near a small fountain are growing groups of people and judging by the volume of the crowd that starts to steadily grow by the second, he can tell they’ve made it to the gathering.

His nerves start to dissipate when he spots a couple of mates. He grabs Dan’s arm and pulls him along.

“I see Aaron and Yaz.” Phil says, he hopes Dan can hear him over the loudness of everyone. They reach them and quickly say their hellos, a couple of people stop to chat with them. Video cameras have been pulled out, and Phil briefly wonders if he should have brought his to capture the night but he’s glad he gets to live in the moment instead.

Dan is chatting with someone dressed as a lady bug and Phil has somehow gotten someone to give him a plastic sword to wave around. The night has just started but he can tell it’s going to be a good one.

Somewhere in between chatting with a pirate about collabing on a Youtube video and trying not to lose Dan in the thick crowd, someone proposes they catch the tube to go get some good and walk around the shops.

Phil spins around to try and talk to Dan about the change in plans and finds that he’s already beside Phil, smiling at him.

“Are you hungry?” He yells, crowding in closer so that they can hear each other. Phil is well aware of the cameras lurking around but he can’t seem to care because Dan is looking at him with a twinkle in his eyes from the lights hung around and he’s so beautiful. Phil wishes they could have a moment alone so he can kiss this boy breathless.

Dan shrugs, “Yeah.”

They say goodbye to his mates and walk with a slightly smaller group of people to the nearest station.

Their shoulders bump as they walk, as close as they can be around a group of people they barely know.

“Are you having a good time?” Phil asks, just as someone walks by videoing the group as they walk.

Dan makes a small noise, “Yeah, I guess I didn’t expect it to be so many people.”

Phil nods, “It is a lot. Hopefully we can make it on the tube.”

They begin the decent down, going down the stairs in a crowd of people trying to go down and others just trying to leave is a bit of a hassle but soon they’re swiping their cards and making their way into the station.

It’s congested and a bit confusing, Phil almost trips over someone and their spider costume when he feels a hand on his back. He looks over at Dan who’s looking ahead and guiding them onto the proper tube with the group. Soon the hand on his back turns into an arm around his waist and Phil can’t help but lean back into it.

They’re standing together, holding onto the railing and Dan still has his hand around Phil’s waist. No one is paying them any attention and it’s too crowded for anyone to really see or care.

“Is this alright?” Dan asks quietly in his ear.

Phil can feel himself blushing, and judging by how red Dan is he can tell he feels the same. The butterflies he’s held in his stomach all night start to flutter and even though he’s nervous he’s also incredibly happy.

“Yeah,” he whispers back, slightly breathless and giddy with excitement. They don’t really do pda all that often if at all. They haven’t defined anything outside of promises to be in each other’s lives for as long as possible. There is something growing between them that both fills him with thrilling anticipation for what will happen next but also scares him to his core.

Growing up Phil always thought that when he was older he would be brave enough to go after the things he really wants.

He realizes he doesn’t have to be brave all the time, because sometimes Dan is brave enough for the both of them.

🐻🐱

[petitemistletoe]

The Concert

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Warnings: smut, angst, dom! James x Regulus, some hate fucking sort of? enjoy this!

Word Count: 5K+

A/N: This is a part 2 to Hate, hope you all enjoy it :)

“I have such a good idea!” You said with a large grin on your face as you dropped yourself down at the table in between Marlene and Remus. 

“Where did you come from?” Sirius asked, turning fully around to look behind him. 

“Stayed to help Binns after history,” you grinned, helping yourself to a large piece of the meaty pie that was on the table for dinner.

“What’s your idea?” Lily asked, sensing the excitement radiating off you.

“I heard from Yaz who heard from Dorcus who heard from Daniel who heard from Michael who heard from his cousin who lives in Soho that Queen is doing a pub concert in London on Friday and we have to go!” You beamed. 

“I don’t care for Queen.” Remus shrugged.

“The Queen sings?” Marlene cocked an eyebrow. 

“No! The band Queen! Freddy Mercury, Roger Taylor, Brian May, John Deacon. Come on! They’re the biggest band in the world right now! How can you guys not want to go?” You were severely displeased with your friends’s lack of enthusiasm. 

“Hey! I know I would love to hear the Queen perform. I’ve never been to a muggle concert before.” James said, getting up from his place across the table and squeezing himself between you and Sirius so he could wrap an arm around your shoulders. 

“It’s just Queen, Prongs, and your opinion doesn’t count you would do anything to keep your girlfriend happy.” Remus rolled his eyes as he looked at you and James comfortably seated together. 

“Uh, Remus? She’s not the only one who would be happy to see Queen.” Lily said with a grin, pointing her fork at Sirius. Remus turned to look at Sirius who was red faced with excitement and had somehow transfigured his sweater into a Queen t-shirt.

“Oh no,” Remus sighed, “don’t tell me you’re a Queen fan? Padfoot! What happened to taste?”

“I don’t know why you don’t like them, Moony. They’re amazing and you’re a snob. Also I’m excited for us to listen to a great band, get pissed, and snog uncontrollably.” Sirius crossed his arms and glowered at Remus. 

“I don’t want to go if all you’re gonna do is snog,” Lily sighed. 

“Yeah! I don’t want to watch the Potters and the Lupins snog all night. I’m out,” Marlene said, tossing her napkin on the table and crossing her arms across her chest in a pout. 

“I’ll come if I can bring Roman. We’re supposed to go on a date but I’ve been wanting a dastardly little rendez-vous in a pub bathroom.” Mary shrugged, standing from the table and making her way over to the Hufflepuff table.

“Hold on, what makes you think I would take James’s last name?” You asked. 

“Yeah! What if Moony and I wanted to hyphenate?” Sirius protested. Before Remus could rebut, Yasmine made her way over to the table and grinned at Marlene.

“Marls are you going to the Queen concert in London? I’d love to see you there.” She smiled at Marlene again who could only offer a goofy wave and a nod in return, her eyes trained on Yaz’s ass as she walked out of the great hall. 

“Okay so what is the official headcount for the concert then? Who’s coming?” James asked, surveilling the group.

“We’re going,” Sirius said quickly, sending Remus a look. Remus rolled his eyes and nodded. 

“I’ll come!” Peter said, his mouth still full of mashed potatoes.

“Roman and I will be there,” Mary said with a nod as she walked past the table, arm in arm with Roman. 

“Marlene, you coming?” You asked. Marlene still had a dumbstruck look on her face as her fingers ghosted over her shoulder where Yaz had rested her hand.

“What about you Evans?” James asked, looking at the final member of the group who had yet to respond

“No! I’ll be the,” Lily took a second to count the people in the group, “ninth wheel. I’d rather stay back and do almost anything else.”

“Peter will be alone. You can go with him,” Sirius offered but to everyone’s surprise Peter shook his head and squeaked, 

“I’ll be going with Dorcas.”

Lily looked like she wanted to die. You cleared your throat and sent a look Lily’s way.

“Lily, why don’t you bring Severus?” You offered her a gentle smile and you slapped one hand against James’ mouth and the other against Sirius’. You could feel both of their mouths moving against your hands but you weren’t letting go any time soon. You forgot, however, that there was another person in the group who despised Snape just as much as James and Sirius and you were out of hands. 

“Why the hell would we want Snape at a concert that I don’t even want to go to?” Remus said with a look of disgust. 

“Yeah!” Sirius said after biting your hand. You snatched your hand back and wiped it on Sirius’s shirt with a scowl, “That little snake will probably bring my brother too just to piss me off.”

“You think Regulus will be there?” James asked. You and James hadn’t really spoken about your incident with Regulus a few months ago where Regulus had watched you and James fuck. You tried to bring it up a few times but James shut it down, though you could’ve sworn you heard James murmur ‘Regulus’ under his breath a few times during sex. Regulus had been avoiding you and the Marauders like the plague since. 

“Regulus would never be caught somewhere with that many muggles.” Remus shook his head. 

“Lily is our friend so we have to baseline tolerate her friends. Lily why don’t you ask Severus if he’d like to come.” You said. Lily shook her head and sighed,

“I should stay home.”

“Lily you love Queen. Either come with us on your own or ask Severus.” You placed your hand over Lily’s and she made a face, 

“Your hand is wet.” 

“Sirius.” You rolled your eyes. Your other hand was still over James’s mouth and you finally looked at him and he smiled at you with his lust blown eyes. You moved your hand down so it was on James’ tie and pulled him up. 

“We’re going now,” you said, looking at the group, “I’ll get us twelve tickets. We’ll talk more at breakfast tomorrow.”

“Walk him like a dog!” Sirius called after you both. You led James to the prefects bathroom and started undressing. James fell back into the steamy, bubbling baths and you set yourself down on top of him. He was kissing up your neck as you seated yourself on James’s cock. 

James moaned into your open mouth as he helped move you, guide you up and down on his cock. 

“God, I love you so much baby,” James was babbling, the way he usually did when he was close. He was moving you faster and faster and he choked out a desperate “don’t stop!” His hand was fisted in your hair and he stumbled out a “Regulus,” before he came. He took several deep breaths, resting his forehead on yours and smiling. 

“I think we need to talk about something, James.” You said, getting off him and sitting next to him. 

“Alright? What’s up?”

“Have you realized that since the incident with Regulus-”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” 

“I know. But I think we need to. Every time we’ve had sex in the last two months you’ve moaned Regulus’s name. I think you want him James.” You said. You could practically see the gears turning in James’ brain.

“I…this is really confusing.” James shook his head. 

“You don’t need to do anything, James. Just think about what you want.”

“I want you!”

“I know you do. But you can want more than one thing.” You said with a small smile. You and James did not discuss it further.

Finally, Friday was upon you all and you were more than excited to see Queen. You had been ready for hours and you were sitting up in the marauder’s dorm watching the boys get ready. Remus was pouting as he sat on his bed wearing a normal pair of jeans, sweater, and tennis shoes. Sirius, on the other hand, was going all out. He was wearing a tight pair of trousers and a leather jacket with no shirt underneath. He was currently lining his eyes with a dark eyeliner and snapping at Remus, 

“Moony so help me god if you don’t change I’m going to hit you.”

“I don’t even want to go!” Remus protested. You sat down on the bed next to Remus and laid your head on his shoulder, 

“Remus. Just change so you can shut Sirius up.” 

“Fine!” Remus got up and started rifling through his trunk.

“Where’s my boyfriend?” You asked, looking around the dorm. Peter was looking between two graphic tees that his sister must have sent. One was for the Beatles and one was for Bowie.

“Which one do I wear?” Peter asked, obviously bewildered. 

“Bowie.” You nodded.

“I’m here!” James said, walking out of the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a smart looking sweater, and a leather jacket. He was also walking uncomfortably, presumably finally breaking in the pair of doc Martens that you had bought him for Christmas a year back. 

“You look good,” you said with a smile. 

“So do you,” James winked at you. You were dressed how you assumed most girls at the concert would be, a Queen shirt that Mary had cut up for you, a leather skirt, and your own doc Martens. 

Remus had finally changed and was now in a stiff pair of jeans, a thin long sleeve t shirt and a leather jacket. You had never seen so many wizards in leather. There was a knock at the door and you knew it could only be the other girls, finally ready. You let them in and Mary ran immediately to Sirius, helping him finish his eyeliner. Mary was dressed like you, with a cut up t shirt and a pleated mini skirt. 

“Mary, is that your skirt from third year?” You asked. 

“Yes! I needed a skirt I could cut shorter and Marlene knew a spell to expand the waistline!” Mary beamed. Marlene and Lily were dressed a little more conservatively. Lily was wearing a v-neck sweater and a pair of jeans and was twisting her ring on her finger nervously. Marlene was wearing leather pants and a tight top that rode up at times to show off her toned stomach. Marlene reached up to grab a flask that was sitting on a high shelf and Peter gasped and said,

“Marlene! Is that belly button piercing?” 

Marlene blushed bright red and immediately tried to pull her shirt down. 

“Ah ah! Too late McKinnon!” James said and laughed. 

“How did I not notice that before? Did you guys see that?” Lily said, turning and looking at you and Mary, who both shook your heads. 

“Yaz did it over the break,” Marlene mumbled, her face staying that same unnatural shade of red. 

“So Lily,” you could sense that Marlene was getting uncomfortable so you changed the subject, “is Severus coming?”

“Ah, sort of,” Lily shrugged, “he’s going with a few other Slytherins. Said he’ll see me there.” 

“Who are the other Slytherins, Evans?” Sirius asked, his eyes even more piercing now against the thick black eyeliner. 

“I think Barty and Regulus.” Lily sighed. 

“Oh my god! My damn brother! Get over here Moony! You’re wearing eyeliner.” Sirius commanded. 

“What? No!” Remus protested. 

“If Regulus is going to be there I need to make him as angry as possible. Seeing my boyfriend at a concert with thick eyeliner will do it.” Sirius snapped. 

“Just let him do it, Remus. He’ll poke out your eye before he backs down.” James said with a head shake. So twenty minutes later, Remus’s eyes were thickly lined and you all were on your way to Hogsmeade to apparate into London. You and James apparated first, since Yaz had left the tickets at will call for you and as a half-blood you were one of the few in the group who were familiar with the muggle world. 

“Hiya,” you greeted the man at will call, “picking up tickets. They were left by Yasmine Patel.”

“What’s the name on them?” The man asked. You gave the man your first and last name and he shook his head, “Sorry. I don’t have them under that name.”

“What!” You looked at James a little panicked. 

“Is it under Potter?” James tried. 

“Yep. Enjoy the show.” The man handed you the tickets. 

“Why would Yaz leave them under your name? She told me about the tickets.” You said, taking your ticket from James as you waited for the others to arrive. 

“Look again at the name on them,” James chuckled. He handed you the sticky note that was stuck on the tickets. Written there was your first name but instead of your last name there was Potter.

“Oh she’s hilarious.” You said with an eyeroll, crumpling up the sticky note. The rest of the group made their way over and took their tickets. 

“What’s that in your hand?” Sirius asked you as you made your way into the pub. It was pretty crowded but your large group was able to spread itself over a few tables comfortably. Marlene ran off almost immediately to see Yasmine, Mary and Roman had disappeared, and you could see Peter and Dorcas chatting with a few Hufflepuffs. Seated at the table was just you and James, Remus and Sirius, and Lily. Lily offered to grab a round of drinks first, but you knew was looking around for Severus. It didn’t seem like any of the Slytherins had made their way to the pub yet. 

“Oh, nothing. Look what Yaz left the tickets under at will call.” You handed Sirius the crumpled paper against your better judgement. Sirius immediately started laughing and said,

“Mrs. Potter! Thank you so much for arranging this visit!”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Lupin.” You teased back. Lily returned with a tray of drinks for you all as you heard a man tap a few times on the microphone. 

“Hello everyone, thank you for coming to our pub. All shots of well liquor are half off for the rest of the night. Without further ado, Queen.” The man stood back to let the band run on stage. Sirius started screaming at the top of his lungs and grabbed Remus by the hand, running to the stage. 

It was only 11:30 when Queen left the stage and everyone had had a great time, even Remus who nodded his head a few times during Get Down, Make Love. You all agreed to stay and continue drinking as a smaller local band took the stage to play some background music for the pub. 

Remus and Sirius disappeared at one point in the evening and they returned to the table with Sirius's eye makeup smudged, Sirius was wiping his mouth crudely with the back of his hand, and Remus had a dumb little grin. Sirius took his seat back at the table as Remus disappeared off.

“Did Severus not come, Lily?” You asked. You were secretly a little upset that you hadn’t run into Regulus again. 

“No, I don’t think so.” Lily said, a little crestfallen. 

“Don’t worry,” Remus said, holding a tray of shots that he got from the bar for you all, “Snape, Reg, and Barty all have a table near the bar. Don’t worry, Lily, they’re as enchanting as ever.” 

“Oh!” Lily shot up and ran over to the table. 

“If they come over here, I swear.” Sirius said, grabbing his and Lily’s shots off the table. 

“You think Regulus will come over here?” James asked. You could detect the glimmer of hope in his voice. 

“Why?” Sirius teased, “Got a crush? Better watch out Mrs. Potter.” 

“So,” James said hastily, “are we going to take this shot or what?”

“Sooner is better than later,” Remus said, nodding his head over to the group of Slytherins that were following Lily back over to your table. You all clinked the glasses together and took the shot, chasing it with sips of your soda, or in Sirius’s case chasing it with Lily’s shot. 

“Look who’s here!” Lily said with a nervous smile. Snape was glowering at the group as was Barty. Regulus was only glaring at you. 

“Reg,” Sirius said coldly. 

“Sirius. You look like Bellatrix.” Regulus said, He hadn’t meant it to be funny but you all burst out laughing.

“You do!” Remus said between gasps for air. 

“I’m going to go buy,” Sirius took a minute to count, “eight shots for myself.” 

“Don’t be like that, Black!” Barty called after Sirius as he took a seat next to Remus at the table. The energy was a little uncomfortable at first but you quickly learned that the Slytherins had no experience in holding muggle liquor and they were very, very drunk. But, you all were very drunk to the point were words were being slurred. 

“I can get the next round,” you said, standing up and immediately stumbling. Regulus reached out to steady you. 

“Thanks Mrs. Potter!” Remus called. 

“I’ll help,” Regulus said, following you to the bar. 

“Thanks Reg. You know, you’re not so bad.” You said with a giggle, reaching up to ruffle Regulus’s hair. 

“I hate you,” Regulus said. He had been chuckling so you chuckled back but his face became stony as he looked at you again, “I hate you so much. So much. It eats away at me. It makes my stomach hurt. Every time I see you I think about how much I want you dead.” 

“Regulus,” you breathed in sharply and wrapped your fingers around the wand that was stuck in the waistband of your pants. You didn’t want to think about the consequences of using magic in front of a giant group of muggles but if Regulus really did mean you harm, the consequences of not using magic would be much worse. 

“Everything okay over here?” James asked, his hand on your lower back. 

“Fine,” you said, your heart still hammering inside your chest, “I’m going to get some air.” You walked out the back area of the bar where a few people were out there smoking cigarettes and talking on the payphone. There was a couple that were furiously making out and looked like they were near the point of stripping layers. You looked a little closer and saw it was Mary and Roman, unsurprisingly. You leaned back against the wall and fished a cigarette from your pocket and started patting up and down your pants for your lighter. 

“Fuck,” you cursed, looking around to see if anyone around looked kind enough to lend their lighter. The scarce few smokers didn’t seem very friendly and more and more people were leaving the creepy back area by the minute. 

“Need a light?” you heard a voice ask. You looked up gratefully but immediately drew your wand when you saw that it was Regulus. He was holding out a lighter but you refused, pointing your wand directly in his face.

“Get away from me, Regulus.”

“You didn’t let me explain,” Regulus took a step towards you but you snapped, 

“Don’t come closer.” 

“Okay,” Regulus said, his hands up. “I hate you because I’m so jealous. I’m so jealous of you and James.”

“Me and James?” You said, lowering your wand slightly. 

“I just,” Regulus pressed his fingers to his temples, “I haven’t been able to think since that night in the history classroom.”

“Oh,” your heart was thudding in your chest but for a different reason now. James made his way outside and said,

“What’s going on?” He looked between you and Regulus and saw your wand drawn and he stood in front of you, drawing his own wand, “What did you do, Regulus?”

“James.” You finally lowered your wand and put your hand on James’ arm. “He wants you.”

“What?” James looked at you like you were insane. 

“He wants you.” You repeated. James looked back and saw Regulus’s expression. It was odd, Regulus had a look of yearning and desire and a it was a little pathetic but you thought it was also kind of attractive. And it was certainly having a similar effect on James. His brown eyes were lust blown and he was breathing heavier than usual. He lowered his wand and looked at Regulus, 

“Is that true?”

“Yes,” Regulus nodded. Before you could discuss anything further, Sirius stumbled out, laughing drunkenly. 

“Hey, so I,” he paused as he took stock of the situation, “everything okay?”

“Fine.” You said quickly. 

“Anyway. Peter threw up everywhere so they’re kicking us out of the pub. You all ready to apparate back?” 

You all apparated back to Hogsmeade. There was an odd energy between you, James, and Regulus but everyone else seemed to be too drunk to notice. Sirius was practically hanging on you with his arm heavy over your shoulders. You had your arm around Sirius’ waist and you were using all your strength to keep him upright as he spouted his drunken nonsense. 

“Oh Mrs. Potter you’re so good to me.” Sirius giggled, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Oh Mr. Lupin I wish you would walk on your own.” You responded. You saw in your peripheral vision that Regulus made a face when Sirius called you ‘Mrs. Potter’. 

“I think I can get him upstairs,” Remus said, pulling Sirius’ arm over his own shoulders and heading upstairs towards the Gryffindor dorms, Peter trailing behind them. Barty and Snape made their back downstairs towards the Slytherin dorms and you, James, and Regulus were left alone in the corridor. 

“We should talk,” James said. 

“Let’s get out of the corridor before we get a detention.” You said. James nodded and pulled out the marauders map.

“Looks like the charms classroom is open.” James grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the charms classroom. You stretched your own hand out to Regulus but he shook his head and followed a few paces behind. 

“What did you look at?” Regulus asked, looking over at the map that James was pushing back into his pocket. 

“Just a map,” James said quickly. You made it to the charms classroom and you sat on top of one of the tables and just watched James and Regulus. 

Regulus was nervous, you could practically hear his heavy heartbeat. James, curiously, did not seem very nervous. He was looking at Regulus with a calm and even expression.

“What did you say to my girlfriend?” He asked. 

“What?” Regulus was gasping for breath. He looked uncomfortable under the piercing gaze of James’ dark eyes. 

“You must have said something to her to make her draw her wand at the bar,” James seemed completely calm but you could see that his knuckles were white as he tightly gripped the edge of a desk. 

“I, I…” Regulus was just gaping and struggling to form thoughts. 

“He told me he hated me.” You said. 

“That’s unacceptable,” James shook his head. “Take your shirt off.” He said it so suddenly and which such force that you had your fingers on the hem of your own shirt before you realized that James was talking to Regulus, not to you. Regulus tore his shirt off and you took a moment to appreciate his delicate, blemishless skin. His skin was so fair you could almost see every single blue vein underneath. Regulus looked back up at you before looking back at James, waiting for the next command. 

“Take your panties off,” James said to you this time. You obeyed, pulling the red panties off and holding them in your hand. James walked over to you and took them in his own hands. He held them up to his nose and sniffed before focusing his attention back to Regulus.

“She smells good, Regulus. So good.” 

“Can I,” Regulus wet his lips and cleared his throat, “Can I taste?”

“On your knees.” James nodded and Regulus dropped to his knees. James walked over to you and stuck two of his fingers deep inside you. You gasped and grasped James’ wrist in surprise. He didn’t keep his fingers inside you for long and he took them out almost as quickly as they were in. He walked over and held his outstretched fingers in front of Regulus’ lips. Regulus wrapped his lips around James’ fingers and sucked like his life depended on it. James grabbed Regulus’ jaw roughly and pushed his fingers down deeper into Regulus’ mouth. Regulus took them well at first but James pushed his fingers farther and Regulus began to gag and his eyes were starting to water but he showed no other signs on resistance. 

“Good,” James said, a little breathless, as he removed his fingers. Regulus had a little bit of spit rolling down his chin as he kept his eyes trained on James. You felt soaking wet at the whole display and you shut your legs and started rubbing them together, trying to find some friction. Regulus’ eyes shot over to you then back to James. James then looked over at you. 

“I’m sorry, darling,” he said, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’ve been neglecting you.” He sunk down his knees and carefully parted your legs. He sent a look back at Regulus before diving into your pussy. His tongue entered and exited you quickly as his nose bumped up against your clit. Your fingers reached for his hair and you locked eyes with Regulus. Regulus was studying you like a painting as you moaned and bucked against James’ face. James added his fingers and pushed his mouth up to your clit and you were done for, panting and moaning until you came. James came back up and kissed you, his hand in your hair this time. He broke away and rested his forehead on yours, just staring at you. He stretched his arm out behind him and snapped his fingers at Regulus. 

“Come here.” He said, without even looking over at him. Regulus scampered over and sat on his knees again, looking up at James. 

“What do you want?” James asked Regulus, finally turning away from you. 

“You,” Regulus responded, his eyes big and starry. 

“Just me?”

“Just you.”

“Well you can’t have just me,” James said, gesturing to you, “we’re sort of a package deal.”

“I don’t want her,” Regulus pouted. 

“Hey!” James slapped Regulus across the face, ”watch your mouth.” 

“If it means I can have you, I’ll have her too,” Regulus said, swallowing against the lump in his throat. You felt awkward, uncomfortable, like you were intruding on a very private moment between James and Regulus. 

“It’s not entirely dependent on your terms,” James exhaled through his nose.

“No, no! I can be good. So good I swear,” Regulus said, sticking two of his own fingers in his mouth to wet them before sticking them inside you. You gasped and looked rapidly between James and Regulus. “I’ll be so good!” Regulus repeated, using his free hand to pull James pants down and spitting in his free hand before stroking James. 

Regulus was very talented with his hands, as evidenced by yours and James’ simultaneous moans. Regulus made you cum quickly and he pulled his fingers out of you to focus his attention on James. You got up off the table and joined Regulus, taking the tip of James’ cock into your mouth and kitten licking it. James was looking at you both, beneath him, with lust blown eyes. You outstretched your hand and gently pushed Regulus’ mouth towards James’ cock. Regulus took James into his mouth and you could hear him control his breathing as he took James as much as could. James was rougher with Regulus then he was with you and you could tell Regulus was trying to control his gag reflex but James was borderline fucking Regulus’ face. 

“James,” you said softly, putting your hand on James’ stomach to slow him, “be gentle.” James slowed his movements and let Regulus pull off and take a gasping breath. 

“I’m sorry,” James panted, “your mouth just felt so fucking good oh my god.” James ran a hand through his hair. 

“Don’t be.” Regulus said, “It was hot.” 

You were overcome for a moment and you pulled Regulus in and kissed him. Regulus was shocked at first but he kissed you back. It was sweet and gentle, lots of lips and tongue and soft breathy moans. You broke away and you pulled James down to your level. You gently pushed Regulus and James closer together until James finally crossed the distance and kissed Regulus. This was rougher, harder. More teeth and light biting and desperate moans. Regulus and James pulled away and James said, 

“I want to try something.”

“Anything for you,” Regulus responded. James positioned Regulus so he was above you and Regulus pushed into you. Regulus’ body was a contrast of yours. His sharp contours against your soft ones. James watched as Regulus fucked you. Then, James pushed himself into Regulus. Regulus released a strangled moan and practically collapsed on top of you, his face in your neck so you could hear his moans. You locked eyes with James and James leaned over Regulus’ body to kiss you. 

Regulus came first, inside you, an action that you would think about later. You came shortly after still around Regulus’s cock and you were far overstimulated but Regulus couldn’t pull out of you as James was still chasing his own orgasm. James finally came, pulling out Regulus quickly and cumming all over Regulus’ back. Regulus pulled out of you and you all just laid in the charms classroom for a few minutes, breathing and savoring the silence. 

“Sirius is going to be so mad when he finds out about this,” you said, chuckling at the shocked expression of the two men in front of you. 

Taglist: @skyesayshi

[deadassluv]

18 days until chaos theory

That trailer killed me y’all. BROOKLYNN WHEN I CATCH YOU BROOKLYNN. The way she burned their photo without caring is crazy (kinda glad she did cause they need to retake that photo) and YAZZZZZ! If something happens to Yaz I’m gonna lose ittttt, like the girl is doing better give her a break :( The Benji fight will kill me too, but I know I will a 100% be on Kenji’s side. Not that I don’t like Ben I love that stupid blue eye angel. I really need some answers about that Yaz scene cause it’s making me worry. I don’t know if the part where she’s shouting “run” to Sammy is after or before the entire situation with the Suchominus. I hope is not before cause that would mean Sammy actually ran and left Yaz alone. I really want to know more about the new character. Ngl she seems interesting. People say she might be Mae’s daughter, or Ben’s girlfriend, even freaking Darius new love interest 💀 I don’t think any of this “theory’s” (If you can call them that) are genuine. She looks like a 12-14 year old, so I don’t think she’s Mae’s daughter or nobody’s love interest.

Now the reunion…the freaking reunion. This young adults are going to need therapy after that. I know damn well the only ones who might take the situation calmly will be Yaz and Ben. Darius, Kenji, and Sammy are not gonna be okay. We already know Kenji has some anger issues, he literally seems like he was going to punch Ben during that fight, so he’s not going to be happy with Brooklynn. Darius is going to feel sad, betrayed, disappointed. My boy is going to cry, the girl he loves is literally against him. Same with Sammy, just like Darius we can tell that Sammy has suffer a lot because of Brooklyn, and knowing that Brooklyn has been hiding herself from her! And their friends will destroy her. The poor girl hallucinates Brooklynn likeeee yeah she’s not gonna be happy either, she might be mad too.

Actually can we talk about Sammy’s treatment, like what’s up??? Why is the character that cares the most for the group the one letting left behind, like the people she considers her family and her actual family abandoned her. I feel like everyone just puts her in a position that she’s not supposed to be in. Like yeah she’s still the same happy girl but her happiness is so toxic. During the fight between her and Yaz I was nothing but feeling a little disappointed towards Yaz. Don’t get me wrong Yaz’s reason wasn’t bad but abandoning your girlfriend wasn’t the best option, Sammy has problems too, they should be there for each other. And when Sammy says “You sit here and you blame me for not knowing how much you grown? But you left me in the dark, you did that!” And Yaz responds by saying “I did that” she doesn’t denies the fact that she left Sammy in the dark….that’s kind of messed up. I know they “fix” their problems later on but let’s be real…did they actually fixed anything? When everything is over Yaz is gonna want to go back to her island because at the end of season 1 she still wants them to go to her island!! even after what happened?!!

Also I better see more Kenji and Sammy duo in season 2. We didn’t get enough of them in season 1, they’re so sibling coded so I need moreeeee. Same with Ben and Yaz.

Anyways some thoughts and things I wanted to share. Are we ready for Chaos theory season two? Cause I know I am! (I will cry with the first episode)

[myfandomrambles]

C-PTSD & BPD Thirteenth Doctor pt. 3

(Doctor Character Study part 3E.3) E.1, E.2

An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you read my ADHD & Autistic doctor posts you will notice some symptoms overlap mostly with impulsivity. I chose to put C-PTSD and BPD as one post because symptom overlap is strong, and the disorders are highly comorbid

[Thirteenth Doctor will be in 3 parts due to length. Find the whole thing on AO3]

13th Doctor 3: Relationships, Grief, Neurodivergence Overlap & Conclusion

Her struggles with agitation, anxiety, hypervigilance, identity issues and her alienation from those close to her directly affect her relationships. These relationships are very hard for Thirteen, she cares very much but has a disjointed affect and struggles to take in information related to social connections. To some degree, this overlaps with her other neurodivergence. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, TV: Can You Hear Me, TV: Eve of The Daleks, & Comic: A Little Help From My Friends)

The Doctor still shows a need for connection and to combat abandonment fears. But her continuous struggle with letting them in. In TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth she attempts to leave without having any of her companions with her. Not openly inviting people who share a stressful event with The Doctor to become companions.  In TV: Arachnids in The UK we see how she is still anxious to have them come along, even if she clearly was saddened by being alone and then happy to be invited to go with Yaz for tea and them wanting to come with her. 

“Doctor: Proper goodbye this time.

Ryan: About that.

Graham: Do we have to? You see, Doc, the thing about grief is it needs time. I don't want to sit around my house waiting for it to go away, ‘cos that house is full of Grace and it makes it so much harder. But, er, being with you and seeing all these things out there, it really helps.

Doctor: What about you?

Ryan: Do you really think I want to go back to working in that warehouse? No way.

Doctor: Yaz, you wanted to come home.

Yasmin: I know. I love my family, but they also drive me completely insane. I want more. More of the universe. More time with you. You're like the best person I've ever met.

Ryan: You're pretty awesome.

Graham: You're all right, I suppose.

Doctor: I can't guarantee that you're going to be safe.

Yasmin: We know.

Doctor: Do you? Really? Cos when I pull that lever, I'm never quite sure what's going to happen.

Ryan: That's okay.

Doctor: You're not going to come back as the same people that left here.

Graham: But that's all right. I think that's good.

Doctor: Be sure. All of you, be sure.”

It's easy to see how this relates to previous Doctors who lost many companions in upsetting endings even if they ended up okay in the long way round. But those losses and Grace dying make inviting people to go with her anxiety provoking, even if she loves having them with her. 

Her need for connection and anxiety when alone even when she has been struggling with connection can be seen in In TV: Can You Hear Me we see her consider jumping in time to be able to be with her friends instead of staying with her anxiety and loneliness. She also continues trying to show off while on her own. Showing off her knowledge and prowess as a hero I believe supports The Doctor’s egoic state and is a way to push down her anxiety. (TV: Kerblam!, TV: The Witchfinders, TV: Spyfall pt1, TV: Praxeus, TV: Can You Hear Me, TV: Village of The Angels, TV: The Vanquishers, TV: Legend of The Sea Devils, TV: Power of The Doctor, Prose: Molten Heart, Prose: The Secret in Vault 13 & Comic: New Beginnings )

In Comic: Hidden Human History the group ends up involved in a time situation connected to a podcast which taught people about history. When they end up in places where the companions know about it before The Doctor notices she becomes slightly grumpy and Yaz and Ryan note that she is jealous of the podcast. This I believe references the way The Doctor generally wants to be admired and how being able to guide them through history is how she seeks connection. 

The Doctor feels a responsibility for her companions. Examples show through in many moments where she puts herself between her companions and the person trying to hurt them or tries to be alone to fix the problem by herself. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: Kerblam!, TV: Resolution, TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, TV: It Takes You Away, TV: Orphan 55, TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: The Timeless Children, Prose: Combat Magicks & Comic: Old friends)

Ryan Sinclair and The Doctor become friends saying as much in TV: Revolution of The Daleks

“Ryan: So, when we're done with this Dalek problem, you find out about your own life. Confront the new, or the old. And then everything will be all right.

Doctor: Will it?

Ryan: No doubt. What?

Doctor: Thank you, Ryan, for being my friend.

Ryan: Thank you for being mine.

Doctor: Always”

This scene shows their affection for each other, another example is Thirteen telling Ryan’s dad off for him missing Grace’s funeral when she knows Ryan wanted him to be there. This scene shows growth in Ryan being more open with people, something he learned through the courage and compassion travelling with The Doctor brought out of him. The comments Ryan makes have a  good portion, reminding The Doctor change is inevitable and not always bad. But him telling her that everything will be alright feels a bit hollow as we know It won’t be okay, not during any of Thirteen’s subsequent stories. Even when we get to Fifteen he is willing to acknowledge the facts of their history but feels they are all alone. And we know adventures and traumas never really stop for The Doctor. However It shows Ryan’s empathy, kindness and willingness to help friends, which are part of his motivation for leaving the TARDIS. 

Graham O’brien and Thirteen have an interesting connection in the sense that Graham is one of the older companions. Most of the companions start travelling with The Doctor in their teens and twenties, making the way he viewed The Doctor a bit different than many of the younger companions. They share the trait of being grandparents and having lost partners. To some extent Graham does see her as a fully adult in a way he doesn’t with the other companions. An example is during TV: Can You Hear Me where he tries to seek emotional support from The Doctor which she struggles to return. By the end of his time as a companion he clearly loves travelling, adventure and new places. He only stays because he loves Ryan and won’t let him be alone, a trait that I believe Thirteen does respect, and they share a sweet moment. 

“ Graham: we do get Aliens in Sheffield”

One of the most core relationships Thirteen has is with Yasmin Khan. Yaz spent the most time out of any of the companions or ‘fam'. She is with Thirteen from the first moments till the start of Thirteen’s regeneration into her next body. They are very good at working together as time goes on being able to be in tandem. Yaz gains a lot of self-assuredness, changes in her goals and even uses phrases like ‘result’ (TV: Praxeus). The Doctor shows her care for Yaz, teaching her to fly the TARDIS and giving her the hologram when they get separated (TV: The Halloween Apocalypse & TV: Survivors of The Flux)  Yaz does her best to keep The Doctor on level with her and not hiding or lying but never loses her belief in The Doctor. This ends with Yaz saving The Doctor's life. (TV: Power of The Doctor)

Why they do have a tight bond this relationship often falters when The Doctor is in her worst headspace. Her anxiety, agitation and tendency to hold her emotions come out as manipulative behaviours.

“Yasmin: What are you doing?

Doctor: Checking all systems for malfunctions. Also, quick MOT check on my mind. Had a little glitch earlier.

Yasmin: What sort of glitch? You didn't mention it.

Doctor: You know what, Yaz? I don't mention everything.

Yasmin: No kidding.

Doctor: Are you being mardy?

Yasmin: What sort of glitch?

Doctor: A glitchy glitch. What does it matter?

Yasmin: Because I thought we were friends.

Doctor: We are friends.

Yasmin: Then why won't you let me in? What's going on with you?

Doctor: Nothing's going on with me.

Yasmin: Don't lie.

Doctor: Have we not had a good time together? Since Ryan and Graham left, have I not taken you to amazing places?

Yasmin: Of course, but...

Doctor: I thought I was showing you experiences of a lifetime.

Yasmin: You're hiding something about him [Karvanista]. About why you tracked him down in the first place. Tell me.”

(TV: The Halloween Apocalypse)

The love The Doctor has with Yaz is often threatened by these behaviours. Telling someone who's upset with you that they should be happy since you have done good things together invalidates emotions and perceptions. Yaz is rightfully upset here. Even though Yaz does love travelling with The Doctor it appears to make Yaz feel very left out. There is the above reference to lying but it is very clear that The Doctor lies as a protective measure so she never has to let herself feel. 

Their romantic tension is slow and stressful for both of them. Yaz is afraid and won’t face her emotions, not even fully accepting the connection is romantic. Yaz does start to notice they are special to each other commenting she has a similar feeling as another person in romantic love (TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati) They are forced to look at their feelings by Dan Lewis. (TV: Eve of The Daleks) Dan had lived for a long time with Yaz both with and separate from The Doctor making their connection stronger than even his relationship to The Doctor. Dan notices Yaz’s feelings kindly, gently offering that she should understand herself. Whereas with Thirteen he is much more of a ‘don’t play with her feelings’ style comment. He knows The Doctor is aware and is choosing not to do anything about it. 

An interesting connected situation can be read in the Comic: A Little Help from My Friends The Doctor goes back in time to where Martha and Ten are in the 60s waiting for an option to come for them to escape. Thirteen can with time watch that Ten was being unfair and overall not treating Martha well. She can see the infatuation Martha is experiencing while refusing to notice Yaz’s and her hiding things from her companions again. 

The Doctor promises more than once that Yaz and her will be able to communicate about what happened, on a beach, since TV: The Vanquishers. An above-mentioned quote from that episode has her promising to tell her everything, The Doctor wants to fix a lot of the loneliness and alienation she had fallen into when trying to cope with her trauma, a behaviour which started in the beginning but only got worse over time. 

The Doctor tells Yaz she wants her to stay but that they won’t be able to have their relationship exist in a new type.The major parts of this conversation appear in TV: Legend of The Sea Devils. 

“Doctor: ...you know what I said earlier about not being a bad date? Well, dates are not something I really do, you know. I mean, I used to. Have done. And if I was going to, believe me, it'd be with you. I think you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. Including my wife.

Yasmin: Your what?

Doctor: Ah. Wasn't going to mention that. It was a long time ago. I was a different man back then. But the point is, if it was going to be anyone, it'd be you. But I can't.

Yasmin: Why not?

Doctor: Because at some point time always runs out...”

&

“Yasmin: You okay?

Doctor: Yaz, I can't fix myself to anything, anywhere or anyone. I've never been able to. That's what my life is.

Yasmin: Yeah, of course.

Doctor: Not because I don't want to because I might. But if I do fix myself to somebody I know, sooner or later, it'll hurt.

Yasmin: My nani says, courage is knowing something will hurt and doing it anyway. Mind you, she also said it's the definition of stupidity.

Doctor: Can we just live in the present? Of what we have, while we still have it?”

There would be more kindness in this if she more explicitly gave Yaz a chance to leave. It also shows the kind of thinking Thirteen has, she already loves Yaz and finds her attractive, but can’t bring herself to make a more clear declaration of commitment. I think this comes from the trauma of what happened with people like River Song as well as her dealing with her trauma in a way that she doesn’t facilitate relationships. Her knowing this regeneration will end soon due to the prophecy of Time I believe also fuels her not wanting to do anything new and just enjoying what she has left. The fear is palpable in Thirteen and it causes her and Yaz hurt.  

It’s perfectly understandable and fair of her to say she can’t be in a romantic relationship, no one owes anyone romance. But the way she goes about it puts Yaz in a difficult situation, knowing your friend does return your feelings but can’t do it and still wants to have the same relationship you had before the sharing of feelings. Yaz is not very put off by this as they continue travelling and she goes out of her way to save The Doctor when The Master attacks. It’s clear Yaz is okay with it, but I believe it still shows difficulty communicating feelings and how fear is part of what keeps The Doctor’s relationships struggling. (TV: Power of The Doctor)

Yaz and The Doctor both deal with trauma from their childhoods. Both what The Doctor Can’t remember (TV: Timeless Child & TV: Survivors of the Flux) and the alienation The Doctor does remember from her childhood (TV: The Empty Child, TV: The Girl in The Fireplace, TV: Listen, TV: Heaven Sent/Hell Bent, Prose: Power to the People, Audio: Must-See TV). We also have before Thirteen the myriad traumas when she was young in timelord years. Having companions die of others taken from them, being exposed to violence and whatever version of why they had to leave Gallifrey. 

Yaz references that she dealt with severe bullying and anxiety as a teen. Understanding how trauma and loss can make you physically ill in TV: The Witchfinders, 

“Yasmin: I think I know what it is that's making you sick. I had it at my school, where I am from. When Izzy Flint turned the whole class against me. Every day I'd wake up, feeling this... dread. Fear.

Willa: How did you get rid of it?

Yasmin: I didn't. I just took it, had the year from hell. When I say hell, I don't literally mean hell, I mean it was really awful. And I told myself when I got bigger, I'd stand up to the Izzy Flints of this world.”

They also have similar experiences when it comes to facing both having a history of running, and depending on how you read their stories, suicidal thoughts. (TV: Twice Upon A Time & TV: Can You Hear Me) While not directly discussing the need to be 'anywhere but here' animates both of their experiences of being in the TARDIS. Connecting threads of their arc include both the alienation Thirteen often felt from her friends causing friction and the happy moments like when they are reunited in TV: The Vanquishers and Yaz carrying Thirteen back to the ship in TV: Power of The Doctor.

The Doctor and The Master always have a complex and dramatic connection and that is true during Thirteen’s era with Dhawan!Master. They start with a lie and a ruse on The Master’s part which is a common Master behaviour, he’s having some degree of fun while Thirteen seems pretty over it. She is willing to act very cruelly to The Master who appears as an Indian to the Nazis. This happens after they have their requisite back-and-forth about their history. 

“Doctor: When does all this stop for you? The games, the betrayals, the killing?

Master: Why would it stop? I mean, how else would I get your attention? When did you last go home?

Doctor: What do you mean?

Master: I took a trip home, to Gallifrey, hiding in its little bubble universe. Not sure how to describe what I found. Pulverised? Burned? Nuked? All of the above. Someone destroyed it. Our home, razed to the ground. Everyone killed. Everything burned.

Doctor: You're lying”

This conversation is normal Master/Doctor back and forth, it is interesting how virulent they are with each other in TV: Spyfall pt2 compared to the way Twelve and Missy interact. The most coherent view is that due to not knowing Missy wanted to be with him, The Doctor could feel abandoned. The Master claims to want to kill The Doctor during TV: Spyfall pt2 but then leaves a message for The Doctor to find, they both know at this point either one of them dying fully isn’t likely. They always find some way to survive. This sets up The Master's part in the Timeless Child. 

During TV: Can You Hear Me we have the legend of these two space creatures who are eternally linked and always come back together and cause mayhem when they are there and when they leave. I believe this has an analogous sentiment to The Doctor and The Master due to both being linked so strongly it can never fully be split and the fact that they fight with each other across planets often leaving pain behind them. 

When The Master brings The Doctor to Gallifrey she originally treats The Master as more of a nuisance before the more distressed anger. The Master attempts to hurt her and damage her sense of self. He is angry about what was done to him, but now there are no Galifreians to take it out on; he directs it at The Doctor for the crime of being part of him. This is interesting as The Doctor and Master over time have linked their sense of self to each other. But this time there is also a power imbalance, they are no longer both renegades The Doctor is now special. The fact that the kind of special she is came with horrendous abuse doesn’t seem to compute for The Master. He fundamentally believes that he can break her and make her hurt. In some ways The Master is correct, he did cause her pain and confusion. But The Doctor won’t show it to The Master, they can’t. Even if as explained above, her identity was shaken by the Timeless Child story. 

We see some of his thoughts in TV: The Timeless Children:

“Master: I do believe you're appealing to my better nature. And we both know I don't have one. I'm not going to help them, and neither are you. And the history between us does mean something. It's the rage and pain in my hearts. I'm sending you deep into the Matrix to understand the truth of Gallifrey and of the Time Lords. Brace yourself. This is going to hurt.”

&

“Master: This is no time to be sleeping. Is it hurting, Doctor? I hope it's hurting because it really hurt me.

Doctor: It's all lies. None of this is the truth.

Master: For the first time in my lives, I can honestly say every word is true.

Doctor: I know my life. I know... I know who I am.

Master: No, you don't. You never have. Your life has been hidden from you.”

&

“Master: Wake up. I know you're broken, but it's all over now.

Doctor: What do you mean?

Master: When I said I killed everyone here...”

&

“Master: What have you got left anyway? You don't even know your own life. Look how low I have brought you. I have won, Doctor. You may have made me, but I have destroyed you. Become death. Become me. Come on. Come on, come on!”

(She lowers the grenade.)

Master: For just a moment there, I thought maybe. Argh. Oh, Doctor, the universe will suffer for your weakness. I'll make sure of it.”

The Master can lure The Doctor in TV: Power of The Doctor into what he wants to happen by introducing himself, the Daleks and Cybermen, something The Doctor couldn't refuse. She does her best to manage him, letting UNIT help and giving Yaz a weapon. It’s pretty intense for both of them. 

His grand plan here is to try and take her very identity from her. Breaking and suppressing her consciousness, leaving him more himself than The Doctor as their consciousness is not melding. You also have the Cyberium as a factor in the way The Master is not acting coherently with that much fracturing. But he does kill her, leaving The Doctor’s body alone and stealing the TARDIS. The Doctor has to decide to not give in to letting her mind be taken with the help of her past regenerations trying to get her to not jump into a symbolic pit. 

Yaz and Vinder are able to save The Doctor with the help of a new hologram that Thirteen gave her friends so they could receive a form of consciousness should she be unable to help because of death. The use of this and her trust in Yaz being able to fly the TARDIS and pull the best parts of The Doctor in leadership. 

The hologram was also given to Tegan Jovanka and Ace Mcshane. If you read these versions of the Hologram having The Doctor’s current memories then she was unnecessarily mean to Ace. Ace was not the person who was in the wrong for most of their situations, it was very much Seven's fault as he was much older and he even references that he thinks of her as their child. Giving some kind of back and forth that they both made bad choices would have been much kinder and more realistic. Now for pure characterization, it’s not inherently wrong, The Doctor tends to not see her relationships clearly. 

The Doctor's obsessive pain about The Master leads to her death as she stops to watch The Master die. This attack from The Master and not the forced regeneration ends up killing her. 

Connected to her relationships, is her experiences of grief. Her early time is highly steeped in loss. At the end of TV: Twice Upon a Time she lost most of what she loved. Once we get to TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth she then is separated from her TARDIS which is her home and best friend. Of course, then we have Grace die on her watch, The Doctor does feel guilty to some degree and feels upset about her death. The Doctor stays for the funeral, putting off leaving and talks with these people she’s connected with on her loss and grief and home.

“Yasmin: Have you got family?

Doctor: No. Lost them a long time ago.

Ryan: How do you cope with that?

Doctor: I carry them with me. What they would've thought and said and done. I make them a part of who I am. So even though they're gone from the world, they're never gone from me.

Graham: That's the sort of thing Grace would have said.

Yasmin: So everything we saw, everything we've lied to people about, is this normal for you?

Doctor: I'm just a traveller. Sometimes I see things need fixing, I do what I can. Except right now, I'm a traveller without a ship. I've stayed too long. I should get back to finding my Tardis.”

The Doctor can relate to other people who have lost a lot of things which can sometimes come out as frustration but is still a part of her experiences. Seen in episodes like in TV: It Takes You Away;

“Doctor:...Cos the Solitract doesn't want a husband, you want a whole universe. Someone who has seen it all, and that's me. I've lived longer, seen more, loved more and lost more. I can share it all with you. Anything you want to know about what you never had. Cos he's an idiot with a daughter who needs him. So let him go and I will give you everything.”

During TV: Demons of The Punjab we see how she can connect with Prem and the Thijariand in the history of strong loss of home and complicated interplay with the people they do love. Self-sacrifice as part of grieving and loving also connects to The Doctor. 

In Comic: Old Friends she has a collection of items in her TARDIS that seem to relate to previous friends and adventures. After viewing the call for help she had received from the Corsair asking for help. This incident (TV: The Doctor's Wife) hurt them greatly as he realised there were no more Time Lords and that the body of their friend had been torn for parts. Remembering these events pushes her to agree to an adventure with the Corsair.

Thirteen is also neurodivergent in that she has ADHD & Autism. There are some definite overlaps. Social difficulty, sensitised stress system, anxiety, impulse control, fear of rejection and others. Generally feeling different from other people and having thoughts considered weird is quite common for people on the autism spectrum. A moment that illustrates the way being neurodivergent affects her social experience is in TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror

“Tesla: You're an inventor!

Doctor: I have my moments.

Tesla: I knew it! So you... so you can understand how it feels, you know, when you have an idea and... and to make it real. I don't think there's any greater thrill.

Doctor: I couldn't agree more.

Tesla: You... you spoke of aliens. People, you know, laugh at the very idea.

Doctor: But not you.

Tesla: Well, apparently I'm not like other people. It can be difficult, you know, to feel no one else sees the world the way you do. It's like you're, er...

Doctor: Out of place.”

Her being alone in how she processes the world is shown in Tesla as also being out of place in his life, due to most likely being neurodivergent. This is deeply important in examining her character as it very effectively points out that the alienation Thirteen feels comes from her trauma, her neurodivergence and the toxic stress being different from those around her.

Thirteen will have dissociative and shutdown experiences. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: Once, Upon Time, & Prose: Combat Magicks) This is seen strongly in TV: The Ghost Monument, when she can’t keep just keep moving forward at the apparent loss of her TARDIS she shuts down and gives in to a shutdown space even when the companions haven’t reached there first. After traumatic instances, shutdown tends to follow a fight response, like in TV: Fugitive of The Judoon and TV: The Timeless Children.

This dissociative factor interplays with hypervigilance and can play out in The Doctor in having the ability to function well in many stressful situations but it is very hard to maintain the social situations that would be best for her and her friends.

The regeneration for Thirteen is a relatively calm and peaceful one. Closes to Four, Nine or Eleven’s regenerations when it comes across as bitter-sweet. While wrapped up in so much trauma dealing with The Master, Daleks and Cybermen she takes it more in stride than others, wishing she had more time but moving to a calmer state making better final memories for her and Yaz.

“Doctor: Why's the Cloister Bell ringing?

Yasmin: Doctor, look at your hand.

Doctor: No. No. That's not right. I need more time. I want more time! Ah! You know what this means, right? Yeah? It's all right. It's all right, Yaz. One last trip. Where would you choose? What flavour ice cream?

[scene shift]

Yasmin: How many times do you think you've saved Earth?

Doctor: I've lost count. But look at it. How could you not love a planet like that?

Yasmin: I don't want it to end.

Doctor: A wise person once said to me, goodbyes only hurt because what came before was so special. Oh, and it's been so special. You, and Graham, and Ryan, and Dan. Nobody else got to be us. Nobody else got to live our days. Nobody. And my hearts are so full of love of all of you. Oh, I have loved being with you, Yaz. And I have loved being me. I think I need to do this next bit alone.

Yasmin: Let's not say goodbye.”

& 

“Doctor: Oh, the blossomiest blossom. That's the only sad thing. I want to know what happens next. Right, then. Doctor Whoever-I'm-about-to-be. Tag, you're it.”

Choosing to go one by herself comes across as a bit positive in choosing to let Yaz remember her as her and not create more stress on them. And a bit of sadness on her part, while not afraid to regenerate, I think she still feels a bit lost. 

Thirteen is a very interesting look at C-PTSD due to her showing more than one reaction over time in a more drastic way then Ten or Eleven. The fact that she appears female also causes some watchers to not be willing to view as fully ‘The Doctor’.  People paradoxically going from seeing her as too anxious and flighty [flight response] to disliking her level of anger and coldness [fight response]. 

She is a version of The Doctor who is more openly anxious while being one of the most closed-off one's when dealing with her deeper thoughts and a lot of the complexity of their psychological state. Thirteen in the early episodes it is often characterised by the fandom as being ‘healthy’ and healed, mainly due to her not having the same visible and expressed scars from the Time War. But this analysis hopefully shows that she always had clear trauma symptoms; hypervigilance, anxiety, identity issues, grief and social difficulty.

When going through her arc there are many moments where they are subjected to trauma, starting with the loss of Grace tied to her and ending with dealing with The Master and other long-term enemies. Understanding that she already had trauma as part of her core along with the layered new trauma is a full view of the characters. Looking at Thirteen through this lens is important to be able to see her motivations and everything she does.

[justabackroundcharacter]

Thoughts while watching Wish:

- base princess personality trope

- Never getting over the face that the goat is named Valentino

- 7 dwarfs vibes with the friends

- Hans type character

- Weird ass love song to wishes

- Evil Chris Pratt went from 1-100 really fast

- The wife was 1000000% the kings wish and he used magic to get it

- Angry guy is played by GIZMO MY BELOVED

- 100 year old man move like a 60 year old fr

- Asha also goes from 50-100 real fast

- My favorite song was a little disappointing:(

- What she’s singing and what the animation gives dosent match

- Wifey is CLUELESS

- We could’ve had A STAR BOY INSTEAD WE GET THIS THING

- Star is still cute

- When you are a Star and accidentally make a devils trap in the tree lol

- IM A STAR ⭐️

- thanks for not eating me John

- Throwing books like your cramming for a test

- King is bipolar like actually tho

- EVERYTHING IS FINE

- What are you five ?

- DANCING CHICKENS

- Best friends help each other commit crimes against the kingdom

- King really is evil he made everyone go to an assembly and they aren’t even in school

- WAIT WAS KING SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALIEN

- how old is the king ? Do we know at all ?

- Casually dooms yourself to an eternity of pain because you got insecure

- HE HAS A SECRET LAIR LIKE HAWKMOTH

- ok how do wishes work again ? Was gramps not free to still inspire people

- Not the mom pleading for her daughter to only get her wish trampled on (definitely don’t need to look at how accurate that is)

- Star said SQUARE TF UP

- He’s literally just your king hit him with your bookshelf

- Returns to your stable if anyone asks pLaY dUmB

- when you have to speed run the 5 stages of grief bc you are the main character damnit

- I know what your thinking- WELL I DONT girl that star doesn’t have an expression on his face

- I can not swim *proceeds to jump into the water with reckless abandon *

- You’ve been hit by, you’ve been stuck by LOSS OF YOUR WISH

- ‘AMYIA darling your just in time come meet my new TOY’ why would you WRITE IT LIKE THAT

- Hot take anyone who calls their partner darling is on THIN FUCKING ICE

- King man went insane that is fun

- HANS KNOCK OFF BETRAYED THEM I FUCKING KNEW IT

- Dont worry im a talking mouse but very clean

- When you only want to be a loyal knight but you end up betraying your friends- happens to the best of us dude

- Good find Valentino - my butt found it

- introverts deserve sanctuary— louder for the people in the back

- STRIKE, STRIKE newsies vibes

- YES fulfill your Sabos wish

- doc and dopey slayed

- They all did

- They are like any queer friend group fr

- the chase scene is cool

- YAZ QUEEN GET YOUR HUSBAND

- I was fooled by the love I felt- Its ok queen you were definitely manipulated not your fault

- Don’t destroy never land you bastard

- A stick ? What am I supposed to do with this ?

- The MUSHROOMS 🍄

- Poor gizmo can’t catch a break no matter what universe he’s in

- a dress on a tree more likely than you think

- Dude bro dear got into the mushrooms fr

- Sometimes a plan is just you and your six friends jumping from a high place

- FUCKING HANS GOT ME AGAIN

- thanks John

- Your so right bunnies are terrifying

- Nope nope nope nope nope

- StAr GeT aWaY fRoM tHeRe

- WAIT IS HE MAGIC MIRRIR GUY

- Yay singing again

- THE power of collective singing will always save the day

- GREEN SMOKE

- MyWiShEs dude get a grip

- Simon and queen should be besties now

- LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

- Peter Pan origin story 👀👀

- ZOOTOPIA ?!?

- bippty boppty boo the magic wand is fixed

- Give GIZMO THE WAND 😭he deserves it

- Fireworks yay

- 5/10 movie

[headcanonsandmore]

Little Dark Age

Summary:  Tegan tries to support Yaz through her grief over the Thirteenth Doctor. However, there's grief in Tegan's past that she hasn't ever admitted openly to...

~~~~~~~~~                       Read on FFN.                             Read on AO3.

~~~~~~~~~

Martha Jones opened the door, her face lined with worry.

‘Thanks for coming,’ she said, ushering them inside. ‘She’s been in her room for hours…’

Yaz had mentioned in the last meeting that she had been sharing a room with Martha for a few weeks now. Yaz’s parents apparently knew where she was, which Tegan was glad to hear. From what Martha had mentioned, they had visited a few times.

However, that morning, Martha had sent an urgent message to the group chat they had set up. Tegan, Ace and Graham happened to all be in the area, and had all responded with offers of help.

‘Thanks, Martha,’ Tegan said, patting the young woman on the arm.

‘Yeah, thanks for the heads-up,’ Ace elaborated, now pulling things out of her bag. Tegan had suggested bringing food, and Ace had immediately volunteered. She had clearly raided a nearby cornershop, because most of the snacks seemed to be biscuits. ‘Wonders of modern technology, eh.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Graham said. ‘Back in my day, we would have had to ring round.’

‘Your day?’ Ace chuckled. ‘You only left the TARDIS a few years ago. I knew the professor back when I was a teenager.’

‘Same difference.’

‘Where is Yaz’s room, anyway?’ Tegan said, cutting across Graham and Ace’s continuing flirtation (or was it just bickering?). Whatever it was, it was starting to get on her nerves.

‘Here,’ Martha said, leading them down the hallway. ‘I’ve left food outside for her, but she seemed too far gone at that point to talk to me. That’s why I thought some reinforcements might help…’

They all came to a stop in front of a door. There was the unmistakable voice of Adele playing on the other side of the door.

‘Oh, dear,’ Tegan sighed. ‘That’s never a good sign…’

Graham and Ace exchanged worried looks. They had known that Yaz had been in love with the most recent version of the Doctor, but they hadn’t expected her to feel the heartbreak as keenly as this. Yaz was normally very composed. The amount of anguish she was presumably going through was... well, it didn’t bare thinking about.  

‘Yaz?’ Tegan called, knocking softly on the door. ‘Yaz? Me, Ace and Graham are here; can we come in?’

The music dipped slightly in volume. There was a few seconds pause, and then a soft click as the door unlocked, revealing Yasmin Khan, eyes red from tears, wearing pyjamas and a very weak smile.

Without thinking, Tegan reached out and pulled the young woman into a hug, patting her softly on the back. The younger woman seemed a little shocked at first, but did not recoil. Tegan hoped this was helping; she wasn’t normally good with the touchy-feely stuff. Certainly not by herself. Back in the day, she had always been supported by-

No, she thought, stopping that train of thought before it could reach its inevitable destination, you are not thinking about her.

‘We thought you might like some company,’ Ace said, placing a supportive hand on Yaz’s shoulder.

‘And we were worried about you,’ Martha added.

‘Ta,’ Yaz mumbled, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjama top as Tegan let her go. ‘Sorry, Martha; didn’t mean to block you out. Please… please come in…’

Yaz’s room wasn’t messy, but it did have the distressed look of someone who had been cooped for a good deal longer than they would be ordinarily. The duvet on the bed was askew, and a bunch of CD cases were scattered across the desk, with the current Adele album left haphazardly on top of the combined radio/cd/tape player. Tegan had been under the impression that Yaz, like a lot of women her age, preferred digital music, but she supposed maybe it was the nostalgia factor that was a help in times like these.

Yaz sat down on the bed, sniffling. Tegan and Martha took a seat either side of her.

‘We brought some food…’ Ace said, holding out a tube of biscuits. ‘I always find the right snacks cheer me up...’

Yaz took one look at the packet of Custard Creams Ace was proffering and, to the immense shock of the two older women, broke down in a fresh set of tears on Tegan’s shoulder.

‘Why did you bring them?’ Graham asked, snatching the offending biscuits out of Ace’s hands. ‘Which biscuits did I say that, under no circumstances, you should bring with you?’

‘Sorry!’ Ace said, sending an apologetic grimace towards Yaz, who was still sobbing.  ‘I thought it was an inside joke!’

‘Some joke,’ Tegan muttered, patting Yaz on the head in a manner that she hoped was consoling. ‘I knew I should have gone with you to Tesco’s…’

‘I think I best go make us all some tea’ Martha said, squeezing Yaz’s shoulder before standing up. ‘Ace, Graham; can you give me a hand?’

‘Sure.’

The three of them left the room, leaving Tegan and Yaz alone. Given that Ace and Graham had developed a habit of bickering about everything in the last few weeks, Tegan imagined that Martha had suggested this partially to give Yaz some much-needed breathing room.

‘Tegan, I appreciate y’trying…’ Yaz said, taking her head off the Australian’s shoulder and rubbing her eyes with her sleeve. ‘I imagine you probably went through something like this when you left the D-Doctor.’

‘What?’

Yaz stared at her in confusion.

‘I thought you said you and Ace were like me back in the day?’

‘Yeah… friends of the Doctor!’ Tegan said, urgently. ‘Not… not like that with him!’

‘So… you never….’

‘Urgh, no!’ Tegan replied, aghast, before realising that this probably wasn’t being very tactful. Yaz had been in love with the blonde lady version of the time lord, after all. ‘Sorry, but… no, the Doctor was like a dad to me. A very annoying dad.’

‘And… and Ace?’

‘Same for her, I think. Although her Doctor seems to have been more manipulative than mine ever was. Mine was a smug git, mostly.’

‘Rude!’

With an electronic beep, the hologram of Tegan’s Doctor booted into life, glaring down at the Australian from where he was stood in the middle of Yaz’s room.

‘Are you still here?’-Tegan rolled her eyes-‘I’m gonna have to ask Kate about getting that thing removed.’

The cricket man put his hands on his hips.

‘Oh, really, Tegan.’ he exclaimed, irritably. ‘At least apologise to Ms Khan for causing a scene!’

‘Yeah, yeah…’ Tegan said, waving her hand lazily. ‘Get lost, Doc.’

With another glower, the cricket man vanished, the hologram making another beep.

Yaz chuckled.

‘Your hologram Doctor still working, I see.’

‘Sorry about that. Stupid time lord always shows up when he thinks he’s being mocked.’

‘That must happen a lot w’you.’

‘Cheek,’ Tegan chuckled, hoping to cheer the younger woman up. ‘But accurate. How… how is yours?’

Yaz sighed, patting her own arm.

‘She appeared t’other night; I was watching summat, and I said that I wished she were here. And… and there she were…’

Fresh tears streaked down Yaz’s cheeks.

‘Oh, Yaz,’ Tegan said, cursing her own rabbity mouth. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve-’

‘No, it’s fine,’ Yaz replied, softly. ‘It just… seeing her brought back a lot of things. I haven’t seen ‘er since; I think she knows how much it ‘urts me at the moment.’

Tegan squeezed Yaz’s shoulder, softly.

‘Someday, the pain will go.’

‘Yeah,’ said Ace, who had just walked in with Graham, holding cups of tea. She handed one to both Yaz and Tegan, before sitting down on Yaz’s other side. ‘If we’re talking trauma, half the people I fancied ended up dead. Including one cat-woman.’

‘Y’what?’ Graham said, mouth falling open.

Yaz let out a watery chuckle.

‘So… neither of you got choked up after you left the Doctor?’

‘No,’ replied Tegan, as Ace shook her head. Graham, presumably guessing that Ace wasn’t going to elaborate, sat down on Yaz’s office chair. ‘But… well, I suppose I had a similar reaction, but it wasn’t after I left the TARDIS. It was… well, when I travelled with the Doctor, there was… another woman there.’

Tegan sighed, staring in the middle distance. Good grief, that was so long ago, but the memories blossomed in her mind. Of beautiful curly brown hair, of bright grey-green eyes, and of a delicate, sweet smile…

‘She was… my best friend. After she left, I felt awful. Like a part of my heart had been wrenched away along with her. We didn’t have Adele back then, but I did listen to “S.O.S” by ABBA a lot. I cried a lot, but… it helped. I dunno. I’d never really had such a close friend before that point. And I wasn’t ever going to see her again, so no wonder I was so upset.’

Tegan turned back to look at Yaz, and found the younger woman’s brow creased in apparent confusion.

‘That kinda sounds like what I’m like with the Doctor,’ she said, softly.

‘I don’t think it was nearly as strong as that,’ Tegan chuckled.

‘Sure sounds like it was.’

Tegan stared at Yaz, mouth falling open.

‘What?’ Tegan gasped. Was her face burning? ‘No! That’s… that’s completely different. Me and… well, we were just very close. Best friends, we were. I swear, we were basically joined at the hip. Shared a room and everything on the TARDIS. Best friends, definitely.’

Out of the corner of her eye, Tegan could see Ace rolling her eyes.

‘What?’ she exclaimed, hotly.

‘Nothing,’ Ace said, munching on a jammy dodger. ‘You carry on being an oblivious lesbian; why break the habit of a lifetime?’

Yaz giggled.

 *

 ‘I think that about wraps it up for this meeting,’ said Graham, clapping his hands together. ‘Thank you all for coming; we’ll arrange another one for about a months time.’

Tegan watched, as Yaz turned in her seat and began chatting to Martha. She was glad to see that Yaz had come to the meeting. Their intervention the previous week had clearly helped Yaz a fair bit. The poor girl was clearly still not okay, but she was better. And that was all that could be asked for. Tegan knew that the pain of that parting would never disappear completely, but Yaz would live a full life despite that. Despite living without the woman she loved.

Not that Tegan knew what that felt like, of course.

‘Hello…’

Everyone looked towards the door. Kate Stewart had poked her head through.

‘Hi,’ said Ace, cheerfully. ‘You’re a bit late today.’

‘Got held up at work,’ Kate said, opening the door slowly. ‘Actually, we had a skyfall event earlier today.’

‘Er… what?’ Tegan asked, confused.

‘Someone teleported into Heathrow Airport,’ Kate explained, holding the door open. ‘Actually, they used to travel with the Doctor. They’re here, actually. They said they had a feeling they might know some of you…’

A woman walked into the room. She had slightly greying bushy brown hair, grey-green eyes, and a nervous smile.

There was a crash, as Tegan’s chair fell backwards onto the ground. She was now standing on her feet, but she didn’t remember standing up. Her eyes met the newcomer, and Tegan’s heart seemed to leap into her throat.

‘Hello, Tegan,’ said Nyssa of Traken.

As if in a daze, Tegan slowly walked across the room.

‘N-Nyssa…’ she whispered. ‘Is… is it really you?’

‘It’s me,’ Nyssa replied. ‘I… oh, I’ve missed you, Tegan.’

Without thinking, Tegan darted forward and threw her arms around her. Nyssa let out a deep sigh of contention, her own arms coming around Tegan’s back. Almost four decades worth of buried hope seemed to rise like a firework in Tegan’s heart. She didn’t think she would ever see Nyssa again and here she was, arms wrapped around Tegan as they embraced for the first time in… oh, so very, very long. And, just like with their goodbye on the Terminus space station, Tegan found herself almost unable to speak, overcome with so many confused and heightened feelings that she couldn’t even begin to describe.

Eventually, Nyssa’s hands loosened, and she pulled away slightly, staring into Tegan’s face. The grey-green orbs met Tegan’s own brown eyes.

Tegan began to shake, tears streaking down her cheeks as she sobbed.

‘Sssshhhh…’ Nyssa said, tears dripping from her own eyes as she cupped Tegan’s face, stroking the Australian’s tears away. ‘It’s okay… I’m here…’

‘Oh, Nys…’ Tegan whispered. ‘Oh, Nyssa…’

‘Like I said,’ whispered Ace, nudging Yaz with her elbow. ‘Oblivious lesbian.’

~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this fic!

[pages-of-us]

Skiing Trip

The Zane family had been looking forward to their week-long skiing trip for months. It was Ralph’s idea, naturally—his childhood winters spent on the slopes in Colorado had made him a near expert on skis and even better on the ice. Andrew, on the other hand, was less enthusiastic. His relationship with winter sports had always been lukewarm at best, but he couldn’t deny the excitement in the kids’ voices when they begged him to come along.

Adding to the fun, Dimitri and Kathrine—Andrew’s longtime best friends—were tagging along. They had booked a cabin next door and planned to join the Zanes for meals and occasional activities, adding to the festive atmosphere.

**********************************************************************

Nestled in the snowy mountains, the cabin was straight out of a winter postcard. Logs crackled in the stone fireplace as the Zanes unloaded their bags, snow tracking behind them. The kids had immediately claimed their shared room upstairs, with Yazmin and Ellias diving onto the bunk beds. Elliot, meanwhile, sulked.

“Do I have to share?” he grumbled, staring at the chaos of his younger siblings.

“You’ll survive,” Ralph teased, patting his shoulder. “Think of it as an adventure.”

Andrew, setting down a bag of books and snacks, smiled sympathetically. “Just remember, the faster you fall asleep, the less you’ll notice them.”

“Not helping, Dadda,” Elliot muttered, earning a laugh from Andrew.

**********************************************************************

The next morning, Ralph wasted no time hitting the slopes. Clad in a sleek navy jacket and reflective goggles, he looked like he’d stepped out of a skiing magazine. Yaz and Ellias, eager to follow their dad’s lead, wobbled behind him on their beginner skis. Ralph was patient, guiding them with encouraging words and showing them the basics.

“Bend your knees, Yaz. Ellias, lean into the turn!” Ralph called as he skied backward effortlessly to demonstrate.

Elliot, standing on the edge of the bunny hill with Andrew, muttered, “Show-off.”

Andrew chuckled nervously. He had reluctantly strapped on skis himself but hadn’t budged from the flat starting point. “You think he’s bad now? Wait until he starts showing off his hockey moves.”

And Ralph did just that later in the day, joining a small group playing impromptu hockey on a frozen pond. Yaz and Ellias watched in awe as Ralph weaved through the players, scoring with a casual flick of his wrist.

“That’s Daddy?” Yaz gasped.

“Daddy’s cool,” Ellias said, wide-eyed.

**********************************************************************

Andrew’s experience, meanwhile, was less graceful. Determined not to be a party pooper, he had finally attempted skiing. Ralph stayed close, trying not to laugh too hard when Andrew fell for the third time.

“You’re supposed to slide, not sit,” Ralph teased, holding out a hand to help Andrew up.

“Funny. You’re hilarious,” Andrew grumbled, brushing snow off his jacket.

When Ralph suggested they try an easy slope together, Andrew reluctantly agreed. It didn’t take long for disaster to strike. Halfway down, Andrew lost control and careened into a snowbank, sending a spray of powder into Ralph’s face.

As Ralph wiped snow off his goggles, Andrew groaned. “I’m retiring. This is ridiculous.”

But Ralph only grinned. “Retire after this,” he said, scooping up a handful of snow and lobbing it at Andrew’s chest.

Andrew blinked in surprise. “Oh, you’re starting something now?”

Moments later, a full-blown snowball fight erupted. Andrew, though less agile, was surprisingly accurate, managing to hit Ralph squarely on the back. Ralph retaliated with a flurry of snowballs, laughing as Andrew ducked and shrieked.

“You’re going down, Vleugels!” Andrew shouted, using Ralph’s maiden name as he hurled a final snowball.

“Not today, Zane!” Ralph countered, tackling Andrew into the snow, both of them laughing breathlessly as the kids cheered from the sidelines. Andrew didn’t get discouraged though, and pelted Ralph’s face with something resembles faintly like a snowball.

“Nice shot, Dadda!” Yaz cheered before scooping up her own handful of snow and launching it at Ellias.

“Hey!” Ellias yelped, dodging and diving behind a snowbank. He quickly retaliated, hitting Yaz in the back.

Elliot, who had been watching from the sidelines, joined in with a tactical strategy. “Dadda, flank left! Ellias, cover me!” he shouted, rallying his team into a coordinated attack.

The snowball fight grew into an all-out war, with Ralph and Yaz on one team and Andrew, Ellias, and Elliot on the other. Dimitri and Kathrine, who had just arrived, joined in too, laughing as they ducked and threw snowballs.

“Team Andrew for the win!” Dimitri shouted, pelting Ralph with a snowball.

“You’re going down!” Ralph yelled, chasing Dimitri across the snowy field while the kids erupted in laughter.

By the end, everyone was breathless and rosy cheeked.

**********************************************************************

After long days on the slopes, the family found solace in the cozy book café near the resort. The warm interior was filled with shelves of books, the smell of freshly baked pastries, and the comforting hum of a crackling fireplace.

Elliot was in his element, thumbing through fantasy novels while sipping on a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Andrew, equally delighted, found a corner chair and curled up with a historical fiction book he’d been meaning to read.

Yazmin and Ellias, less interested in the books, devoured marshmallow-topped hot chocolates and entertained themselves by trying to build towers out of sugar cubes.

Ralph, seated beside Andrew, watched his family with a contented smile. He wasn’t much of a reader these days, but the peaceful atmosphere and the sight of his loved ones made his heart full.

“Happy?” Andrew asked, nudging Ralph gently.

“Always,” Ralph replied, pressing a kiss to Andrew’s temple.

**********************************************************************

The week passed in a blur of snowy adventures. The kids’ skiing skills improved dramatically, with Yaz leading the way, her competitive streak shining as always. Ellias, quieter but diligent, surprised everyone with his steady progress. Elliot stuck to the easier slopes but excelled at building intricate snow forts with Andrew.

Dimitri and Kathrine joined the Zanes for several meals, bringing their signature baklava and adding their own warmth to the trip. The kids adored their honorary aunt and uncle, especially when Kathrine taught Yaz a trick for layering marshmallows in hot chocolate and Dimitri jokingly offered to “adopt” Elliot for his trivia knowledge.

By the end of the trip, the Zane family was tired but happy. As they packed up the cabin, Yaz declared, “Best trip ever!”

Andrew, rubbing his sore legs, glanced at Ralph. “Next time, maybe somewhere warm?”

Ralph laughed, pulling Andrew into a hug. “Deal. But admit it, you had fun.”

Andrew sighed, smiling despite himself. “Okay, fine. Maybe just a little.”

As the car pulled away from the snowy mountains, leaving the cozy cabin behind, the Zanes carried with them memories of laughter, love, and the occasional snowball war—proof that the best adventures were the ones they shared together.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (867): Fri 2nd Aug 2024

Tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks which featured Dillon confiding in Tom that he wanted to learn how to drive. During the exchange where Dillon said he couldn't find a suitable driving instructor Tom replied "Enter Tom" which obviously prompted me to post this on Twitter: Tom: You thinking about taking driving lessons? Dillon: Yeah but they're so expensive Tom: Well, enter Tom Dillon:……uh, Tom I know you've been lonely since Yaz left but I'm not going to fuck you in exchange for teaching me how to drive a car I was shocked this evening to read reports that happening just a few miles away in the town centre of my home city of Sunderland rioters were causing all kinds of pandemonium. There were quickly videos surfacing of crowds throwing bricks at police officers, overturning cars and threatening to storm a mosque next to where my Nana Jenny's care home is. These riots have allegedly kicked off out of reaction to the poor young girls killed at the Taylor Swift dancer class in Southport even though it's been confirmed that the attacker was not a Muslim so now the rioters have switched to making out that this is a "peaceful protest" to get the government to finally stop the boats. Personally I'm not seeing how looting a vape shop is supposed to alert the government to previously unnoticed levels of illegal immigration. The one horrifying shot from the whole riot is a man walking into view of a group of rioters with a Swastika tattoed on his back so there goes the whole "we're not anti-immigration we're pro-controlled immigration" BS, this isn't about immigration this is about stiring up hate. I had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before something like this kicked off. After the fifteen years we've had of austerity, recession, Brexit, Covid etc I figured it was inevitable that eventually a group of nutters were going to decide enough was enough and try to fix their problems through violence. I'm not making excuses for these dickheads because while I think peaceful protests are the way to do I would never want it to escalate into any form of violence. I'm happy to report most of the people of Sunderland are decent people who know you don't cure violence with more violence but apologies on behalf of my home city for the dickheads, lunatics and literal Nazis that have put people's safety at risk with their "protest" tonight. I hope that all those involved end up getting arrested and as many people escaped unscathed as possible but I have a terrible feeling that this is just the beginning.

[swan2swan]

Thinking about how all three times I've watched "Evasive Action", the Sammy's Indecision Subplot has weirded me out and failed to grab me...

And I think I figured it out.

I think there was supposed to be a "Hey. I just killed a man" plotline there. The episode prior, Sammy and Yaz both disabled the control chips in the raptors--who promptly tore Kash apart.

The guy who had blackmailed Sammy and her family.

They probably wanted a "Revenge makes you Feel Empty" plotline for Sammy in that episode, but Standards and Practices said "Oh, you can't do that in this children's show, actually, the kids aren't allowed to kill people, and certainly can't say they did."

Which, admittedly...yeah, that would have been a little heavy.

So they had to cut it, whilst still on a time crunch. Heck, it could have even gotten to boards before that plotline got nixed. Then they needed to fill in three minutes of time in this episode, and the only thing that could really mesh was "Um, Sammy is upset at the group dynamic."

This is why her plotline felt unfulfilled: because they had something, but then they weren't allowed to do it. And, given a choice between "Let Sammy Be a Murderer" and "Let the Girls Kiss", we know which one they chose.

Granted, I still need to finish the rewatch and see how her dynamic with Kon plays out (especially because he's the Bigger Bad), but I would first like to submit further evidence to the jury:

-Darius and Sammy spend the episode that she should be processing her guilt together. They've had a few episodes before, but their main--and first--bonding moment was in the kayak. Wherein Sammy dropped this line:

Imagine if they'd called back to that line here. Sammy just killed a man to protect her family--the man who was also threatening her own family. When Sammy says she'd do anything, she meant anything. Sammy could be guilty, and Darius could say something like "You once said you'd do anything to protect your family...and you protected us." Then she could call it back to Kenji. Or something. Look, I'm speculating now, let's move on to EXHBIT B:

-Yaz and Sammy are not shown stabbing the batteries into the heads to disable the chips. If the "No, Sammy can't kill!!!" mandate was brought down on them, that might have been a shot they cut to comply. There might have even been more tie-in reactions. Note that Sammy's not looking enthused here. She's very hesitant. Maybe there would be a moment where she looks over at Kash, then steels her face and frees the raptor before running. But: The Action That Sammy Takes That Leads To Kash's Death is never shown on-screen, and whether it was for the purpose of the Reveal or not, she is Innocent by Children's Show Standards.

FINALLY, EXHIBIT C:

The reactions to Kash's death, the man who blackmailed Sammy's family, is...Brooklynn and Darius. Again. Yasammy frees the raptors, but Dinostar gets the reaction. Why? Why would that be? Perhaps because Sammy's expression was something setting up the next episode's plot. Vindication. Guilt. Pleasure. Maybe Yaz hugs her to her. Hides her face. Realizes it. I'm giving art and fic prompts here at this point. Whatever the case: we don't see Sammy's reaction to Kash's death. Which suggests--to me--that there was something they wanted to show, but couldn't, and decided to let it be an offscreen still-canon reaction that we just don't get to bear witness to.

Ladies, gentlemen, and the rest: I urge you to consider that the lack of resolution to Sammy's arc with blackmail is not the result of negligence in writing, but overambition that was shot down by the censors. They gave Sammy a Revenge Arc that was ultimately deemed Too Dark, so they gave her a rushed "I Am Not Going To Have Feelings About Anything Right Now" plotline, instead.

[esonetwork]

Timestamp #306: Flux – Village of the Angels

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-306-flux-village-of-the-angels/

Timestamp #306: Flux – Village of the Angels

Doctor Who: Flux Chapter Four – Village of the Angels (1 episode, s13e04, 2021)

The Weeping Angels return to form.

In a basement laboratory circa November 1967, Claire Brown tests a lie detector. Professor Eustacius Jericho is amazed when she claims her birth year is 1985, and she quickly corrects it to 1935. Outside, Reverend Shaw looks for a girl named Peggy with a group of people and a note marked “Leave Now.” The experiment is interrupted when Claire adopts a deep voice and warns about the end of time. When she recovers, she states “The Angel has the TARDIS.”

The time capsule in question is hurtling through the vortex as the Doctor pulls glowing cables from the walls and triggers a dimensional compression wave that reboots the TARDIS and ejects the Angel. As the TARDIS recovers, the travelers decide to investigate their new landing place: The village of Medderton in 1967.

The team meets Gerald and Jean, and Yaz and Dan talk to them while the Doctor follows her sonic screwdriver. The Doctor’s sonic leads her to the basement laboratory and Claire, the source of the sonic’s perturbations. Claire feels ill and retreats to the restroom where she sees Angel wings sprouting from her back. The Doctor finds drawings of an Angel and the TARDIS.

Mrs. Hayward asks Reverend Shaw to count the church’s gravestones. During his count, he is taken by an Angel. Yaz and Dan also encounter an Angel while searching for Peggy.

The Doctor continues her investigation of Jericho’s home, finding broken glass everywhere and a field of Angels surrounding the house. The Doctor and Jericho secure the home while Claire explains that before she met the Doctor in 2021, she started receiving visions. Those visions led to the discovery that the entire population of this village will disappear, repeating similar events from 1901. The group retreats to the basement with a television while the Doctor sets a trap. Claire finds stone dust in her eye.

Yaz and Dan materialize in the village of the past. The place is deserted, but since the Weeping Angels are involved, Yaz and Dan decide to search for Peggy. They find the girl and a warning: The Angels left her behind so long as she didn’t explore beyond the village boundary. Yaz and Dan discover that the entire town is floating in space, something Peggy relates to “quantum extraction.” The village also appears to be shrinking.

In the present day, Gerald and Jean discover that their village is also floating in space. They find an Angel and are transported back in time. Mrs. Hayward then approaches with no consequence.

The Doctor, Claire, and Jericho monitor the Angels using a primitive CCTV. As the Doctor mentions that images of Angels can become Angels, one attempts to emerge from Claire’s sketch. The Doctor defeats it, but soon finds Claire transforming into a Weeping Angel for housing the image in her head. The Doctor decides to make psychic contact with the Weeping Angel in Claire’s mind.

The Doctor finds herself on a blue beach between parted waves. The Angel inside Claire is the same one that hijacked the TARDIS, and it asks for help to escape from others of its kind. The Angels hunting her are searching for a rogue as part of an extraction squad sent by the Division.

In the past, Gerald and Jean find Dan, Yaz, and Peggy. The elderly couple encounter an Angel and are turned to stone after touching it. No being can survive two touches from a Weeping Angel, and the couple shatter into pieces.

In the present, the Angels taunt Jericho with his supposed failings. The rest of the squad moves when one of them affects the television and tries to emerge from it. Jericho smashes the television and the squad breaks into the basement.

Inside the psychic vision, the Doctor questions the rogue Angel about Division. It offers an ultimatum: Stop the squad from obtaining knowledge of Division and the Doctor’s forgotten lives and it will spare Claire and answer the Doctor’s questions. The link is broken when Jericho wakes them up, and the trio is forced to escape through a hidden tunnel. Unfortunately, the walls are covered in Angel arms, and the trio is trapped between two Angels.

In 1901, Peggy tells Yaz and Dan about a Stone Age burial site that suddenly appeared overnight. They find a split in space-time where Peggy sees Mrs. Hayward, the woman who is actually Peggy grown up. The burial site is a collection of Weeping Angels who want a witness to their quantum extraction.

In 1967, the trio struggle with the Angels. Claire escapes, but Jericho is sent into the past. The Doctor continues through the tunnel but is left untouched by the Angels. She emerges from the burial ground next to Claire and sees the rift. The area is surrounded by Angels taking joy from the Doctor’s struggle. The quantum extraction is a process to take the village out of time to capture the rogue Angel. The rouge makes a deal to capture the Doctor, passing a message that she is recalled to Division.

The Doctor slowly transforms into a Weeping Angel, sprouting wings and adopting the typical stance. She turns to stone and joins the rest of the squad.

While all the Angel shenanigans are going on, Bel continues her search for Vinder. She lands on the former resort planet Puzano and is offered safety as a refugee by Namaca Ost Parvess Po. Bel and Namaca join a large crowd searching for safety from the Flux. Azure and a Passenger appear and take the entire crowd away. Bel throws Namaca to the ground, leaving them as the only survivors. Azure tells them to bring others, and Namaca is furious for missing his chance at sanctuary. Namaca later finds Vinder and leads him to a rock wall with a holographic message hidden within. Bel’s coordinates are lost in the message, but Vinder promises to find her.

All of his faults aside, Chris Chibnall (and Maxine Alderton, the only co-writer for the Flux miniseries) succeeded in making the Weeping Angels scary again. After their introduction in Blink and their evolution in The Time of Angels & Flesh and Stone (in which we learn about the image of an Angel becoming an Angel), the villains lost their narrative power as they became bit players and goofy antagonists. Despite the sad game-changing ending, The Angels Take Manhattan (and its Statue of Liberty Angel) is the epitome of the effort to make a monster more menacing by escalation.

This story gets back to basics with a temporal twist. The Weeping Angels stalk the main players as they play a vicious game in a unique twist on their mythology. The story cleverly plays with elements of their background – don’t blink, draining of power, temporal dislocation – while returning them to their horror roots. The Division angle adds to their mystery, as does the Doctor’s peril at the end.

This flow is disrupted by Bel and Vinder’s story, which feels like filler that tries to keep Azure relevant. I’m sure it will mean something in the remaining chapters, but the inclusion here threatened to derail the powerful “A” plot. This was exemplified by the glitchy mid-credit scene that interrupted that spooky rendition of the Doctor Who theme.

Other than that, I found this story to be a treat to watch.

Rating: 5/5 – “Fantastic!”

UP NEXT – Doctor Who: Flux – Survivors of the Flux

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

[codenamesailordarillium]

Oh, both mentions are terrible. So bad they might as well have ignored her like they did Martha (justice for Martha). 13 telling Yaz (YAZ) that she likes her even better than her wife, 15 grouping River in with Adric (ADRIC) as ‘people we’ve lost’ rather than with Sarah Jane and Rose as ‘people we’ve loved’. On balance, 13´s mention might be very very slightly better? At least it highlights the nature of that relationship. 15 might as well have said ‘Professor River Song, archaeologist, Luna University’ for all the personalisation in that mention lol.

Oh trust me, I am very much in agreement about both, my friend.

I was gonna hold off until actually watching the sea devils ep, but honestly might as well say it here that errything I've seen so far of the 13&Yaz "romance" seems to have been heavily shoehorned into Flux & the rest of 13's specials. Specifically, mentioning "her wife" seems to me kind of a half-assed shorthand of trying to make it seem like 13 reciprocates whatever feelings Yaz suddenly has for her without actually putting in the work to actually show it. Basically it's like: ooh yeah, Doctor have wife, Doctor love wife, we mention wife for purpose of showing Doctor love this person too! Which, while obviously heavily colored by the embittered shipper goggles I wear, still objectively isn't the most impactful way to communicate romantic feelings. If anything, the impression I had when I first saw gifsets of the infamous "even my wife" line read more as 13 awkwardly trying to let Yaz down easy seems like it'll probably hold.

And I mainly say it seems shoved into Flux because my honest impression of 13 & Yaz's interactions in the prior two seasons to overall not be much materially different than those 13 has with Graham or Ryan. Other than the scene in the Mary Shelley ep where she's talking to the girl involved with Byron and mentions that her "special person" is kinda different, there's nothing there that would've explicitly made me think Yaz had feelings for the Doctor (tho I'm sure some would strongly argue for her screaming at the end of Spyfall p.1 when Dhavvan!Master yeets 13 out of the plane).

As for 15, yeah, unfortunately Ncuti's delivery of the way he says her name does come off rather detached and so I'm struggling a bit with it. I'll be honest, I don't love all the promo that seems to be hinting that 15 could potentially end up having something going on with Ruby. Don't have a ton of hope there, honestly kinda worried Rusty's probably gonna recycle his "Penny" concept of the companion that was originally supposed to come after Martha that 10 was supposed to fall head over heels for.

Honestly, it's been a bit of a frustrating time as a River & Doctor/River fan. I'm not out here looking to hate on Chib or I guess Rusty at this point for no reason, but the continued erasure of River's character is demoralizing as time goes on. Especially when sentiment in overall DW fandom in the past seemed to have been that we should just get over her because her story was "done". DW tends to be a veritable parade of previous characters making their glorious returns all the time, yet for some reason wanting River back in that capacity is unacceptable, even tho technically speaking that was the whole intent of her character originally, knowing the Doctor throughout all their past & future faces.

I think I'm just rambling at this point, but there are a lot of repressed feelings regarding all this that I haven't deigned to express in the past because I try my best not to dwell on fandom shit that I know will inevitably upset me. I guess I've hit something of a breaking point, so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to let off this particular steaming kettle anon.

[theargentwolf]

Unpopular opinion time, give me back the days of Steven Moffat. RTD only cares about himself and his characters and his golden actors of the moment (which feels bad bc Yasmin Finney is beautiful and wonderful). These specials were supposed to celebrate 60 years of the show, and all they celebrated was the RTD era with a sprinkling of mention of past companions shoe-horned in, so long as they weren't recent. And then the ending literally says "fuck the last 60 years, we're starting over now we have fancy Disney money".

The fact that I can't watch episodes with Rose because she was overused and now I'm the same with 10. The fact that my plans to rewatch episodes start exclusively with 11's run.

And I loved 10 at the time. I really did. I remember sobbing at his regeneration because I couldn't picture anyone else doing it. But then in seconds of 11 showing up, I knew that was wrong. And I'll admit I didn't give 12 a chance, but I wholly plan on going back to him now. And 13 has my heart forever, and I wish she had a better writer, and better circumstances, because I don't mind the Flux, but between episode inconsistency and COVID and everything else, her run felt very stunted and didn't give people the time to warm to her. And I can't see there ever being another female Doctor because people will point to all that and declare that it didn't work.

I don't know. I just feel bad for Ncuti getting done so badly that he isn't the only Doctor in the world for his run. I feel bad for all the companions that have to miss the Doctor when he's put one above all the others. There's a literal companion group that meet up. His final scene could've been him going there. Catching up. Having all his past companions be his found family, not just one. I love Donna, but she isn't more special than Yaz, or Ryan, or Martha, or Jo, or any of the other currently surviving companions. They all deserved a mention. They all deserved better.

[diamondwaters]

❝ love is a choice ❞ chapter i

summary: what was meant to be a simple, calm trip to an intergalactic museum ended up becoming a a trip through memories the doctor rather wanted to forget. only they weren't her memories. they were yours.

pairing: thirteenth doctor x reader (primary), eleventh doctor x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: a whole lot of angst, implied kidnapping, angry doctor

A museum! Not the most exciting trip when compared to the other places the Doctor has taken her companions, but ! But it was definitely needed after their last adventure. Two out of the three humans on said adventure nearly lost their hair to ultra powerful vacuums following a pretty nasty encounter with the locals. This misfortune was promptly apologized for. Several times.

Even so! The Harikane Intergalactic Museum of Rarities! Settled on the planet Earendel, it seemed like the perfect place to go for a lazy day. The Doctor had heard good things about it, but she didn’t feel the desire to ever check it out. She know she'd groan the entire time as she’d likely seen everything that the place had to offer, and probably knew more about it too! But she had promised the Fam something calming after… that. That promise had also definitely been an integral part of the numerous apologies she dealt out.

“Welcome, welcome!” A tall figure greeted the crowd of several dozen patrons at the museum’s entrance. Towering over most of the people present by several meters, the man in front of them had skin tinted a dark blue. Tusks sprouted from around his mouth, though the two that poked out were nothing in comparison to the horns that wrapped around his head. Dressed and groomed finely, it was evident that the man before them was high-profile. “I am the museum’s curator, Hacell, and I will be acting as your tour guide today. Welcome to the Harikane Intergalactic Museum of Rarities!”

The museumgoers clapped enthusiastically while the Doctor begrudgingly slapped her hands together. All it took was a nudge from Yaz to straighten up; a reminder that she promised this would be a quiet- extra emphasis on quiet- and peaceful endeavor.

“Behave,” Yaz snickered.

“Oi,” The Doctor playfully rebutted. “I’m supposed to be the one telling you lot that, you know.”

“We have many wonders for you all to see today! From the beautiful islands of Delta Cancri, and the battlefields of the Locomotion District of Van Maanen 2! We shall take a glimpse into the various corners of this universe we all call home! However ,” Hacell paused. He swept his gaze across the crowd for a dramatic effect. “What I think you’ll find yourselves most enthralled by is our most impressive installment: The Convention of Earth’s Humanity!”

Now, this piqued the Doctor’s interest. It wasn’t often Earth was included in museums like this. Really, a lot of alien species ignored it unless they were trying to invade it or watch it blow up. To have an entire exhibit dedicated to the little ball of rock and water was unheard of to the Doctor. Perhaps this trip wasn’t going to be as boring as she’d thought.

“And ,” Hacell spoke with another dramatic pause. “The most exciting of all! The centerpiece! The Muse!”

It had been just as everyone had expected: most of the museum was composed of relics from different places, but rather than being from across the globe like the three humans were used to, they were from across galaxies. And the Doctor? Well, the Doctor was really struggling to hold in all the comments she so desperately wanted to make. It was a visible struggle too.

And while all that was good and well, there was a clear desire for a specific exhibit while they were perusing. From the bits and pieces of conversation that could be picked up from the other patrons, it was apparent that nearly everyone wanted to see what this exhibit entailed. While the three humans apart of this group were no stranger to humanity and all it had to offer, curiosity filled their system. This “Muse” thing that he hyped up so much was niggling in the back of their minds. 

“Ah! Here we are!” Hacell announced, throwing his arms out.

The other patrons gasped in awe of the series of human artifacts. There were some that were easily recognizable to the humans like an older iPhone model or some of those reusable Starbucks tumblers. Some weren't so familiar, like an object that looked like a regular headband, but had circuits and wires running throughout the fabric. At the very ends, there were what appeared to be headphones of some sort. Yaz seemed rather focused on it if the crease in her brow said anything.

“The Apple Neural Headphones,” The Doctor spoke over Yaz’s shoulder. It was clear she was still trying to reign herself in for the sake of her humans. “Makes it easier to go on all your socials without having to touch anything. They marketed it as a more hygienic alternative to phones, but it’s a total scam. Have to get the special contacts that go with it to even work it, can you believe?”

Before Yaz had the time to respond, a child’s voice sounded out from behind them. It drew their attention to whatever they had seemed eager about. “Look at this thing!” 

Yaz gasped at the marvel in front of her. A crowd, including Ryan and Graham, planted itself in front of a pane of glass that took up the entity of the room’s back wall. Inside said glass was a moving display of a party, one that must’ve been from a time long before the 2020’s. The clothes the people were wearing, ironically, like they belonged in a museum. At the center of a room was a dance floor that was lit with red, blue, yellow, and green spotlights. Surrounding that was a series of tables, all lit dimly with small candles. In the far back, a jazz band was nestled in the corner, plucking and playing their instruments so that a vibey melody filled the empty space.

The closer one got to the glass, the more one could realize that it was so much more fascinating than looking at it from afar. The people were far too detailed, much too three-dimensional to have been mannequins moving on a track. The sheen of their skin, all the little imperfections, and the raw emotions that painted their faces showed what could only be described as, well, life-like!

“Wow…” Yaz gasped, her gaze settled on who was at the center of it all.

It was clear that they were the one whom the entire display was focused on. And if it wasn’t, it would be absolutely insulting. Amidst the cigarette smoke and twirling skirts on the bright dance floor, there was someone with a smile that combated the radiance from the spotlights. It took up the entirety of their face. It was unrestrained. An airy yet full laugh escaped their lips while they danced the Watusi, although she took the liberty of clutching the sides of their skirt to flap against her legs with every step they made on a pivot. It didn’t seem to be the right way to dance based on a couple judgmental glares received from some of the people around her. They didn’t seem to very well care.

“This must be the Muse the curator guy was talking about,” Ryan concluded.

“Wouldn’t be surprised,” Graham agreed.

Every so often, they would glance over their shoulder at a man with untimely long, dark hair who had tucked himself away at a table close to the dance floor with a couple gentlemen. He didn’t seem to be making conversation with them, choosing to keep his eyes trained on the grinning Muse. His intentful gaze never wavered. There was something in that look alone that told a long, detailed story about whoever these two were.

Yaz looked at the Doctor. She probably expected a long and detailed explanation about how they were able to create such a scene. What she was met with, though, was a decidedly unfamiliar version of her, one whose mouth was agape, eyes wide with an emotion that was near indecipherable. 

“Doctor? You alright?”

The other two pairs of eyes turned to look at the Doctor, except she couldn’t make herself look at any of them. At anything. Well, anything other than who danced around the ballroom, eyes glistening with a type of glee that could only be defined as pure. 

“Oh my stars…” She exhaled, like she was fighting back a more uncontrolled reaction. She placed her hand on the glass, right where the Muse was twirling about the dance floor. “Y/N… what have they done to you?”

The look of raw pain on the Doctor’s face caused Yaz’s own to scrunch up in concern. She didn’t recognize the name and she wouldn’t, at least not in relation to the Doctor. She was smart enough, though, to recognize that something was horribly wrong. “What’s-”

“A beauty, hmm?”

The Doctor remained motionless while Yaz, Graham, and Ryan swung their bodies to the source of the new voice. Hacell was standing beside them. He wasn’t looking at any of them in favor of keeping his line of sight solely on the Muse. On you.

“U-Uh,” Graham was the first to find the courage to answer. “Yes. W-What’s their name?”

“Name?” Hacell scoffed, as if it was a stupid question that was utterly beneath him. “They have no need for a name. They are simply The Muse. That’s all she needs to be.”

There was something sickening in the way Harcell spoke. He assumed that everyone around him thought you were just an object to gawk at. He probably would’ve been right, too, and probably had been countless other times before. Were it not for the distress on the Doctor’s countenance, the three humans would have smiled at the pretty moving display and moved onto the next.

Justified assumptions aside, the controlling dominance lacing his every word sent a jolt through the Doctor. Each individual nerve in her body lit up with a long buried intensity. She was shocked that her subconsciousness, which told her to keep still and silent, was winning over her consciousness, which was itching to go against one of the very principles she set as a foundation for herself: violence doesn’t help anything.

“How, um, how long has the Muse been a part of the exhibit?” Graham asked.

“Nearly eleven Earendelian years!” Hacell replied with pride. “Been through a lot of exhibits with us. This is just one of many scenes we like to show! We want to do more but- Well, this seems to be the one that attracts the most people… They are truly my most prized possession.”

Yaz was the one to notice it, out of the corner of her eye, the slightest movement. So slight, that if it weren’t such a new, unseen action, it wouldn’t go noticed at all: the Doctor’s fists clenched. And because those fists clenched, Yaz’s eyes trailed up to the Doctor’s face. That face… usually overflowing with energy and joy. And there it was, an ocean of unbridled rage covered by a cloudy blanket of false composure.

“Um,” Yaz fumbled with her words. She knew that she needed to get this man as far away from the Doctor as possible. In her line of sight, she saw a hoverboard encased in glass. It was the furthest artifact away from the display, so an idea formed in her head. She pulled Ryan in front of her. “Would you be so kind as to show my friend here that item over there? He wanted to know more about its history a bit earlier.”

“Wha-?”

Yaz gave Ryan an expression that was practically screaming at him to go along with it. She gave a tight nod of her head towards the Doctor in hopes that Ryan would notice and Hacell wouldn’t. 

Thankfully, Ryan’s eyes flickered to the seething statue of a woman without the other catching on. He straightened his back and plastered 

“Yes!” Ryan exclaimed through clenched teeth. “Please tell me. All about it.”

“Right then! In 2014, a man by the name of Shane Chen came up with the idea that humans needn't have to walk, but rather...”

Once the two of them were out of earshot, Yaz gripped the sleeve of the Doctor’s coat. She tugged on it so that the Doctor would get closer to Yaz so that she could hear what she was going to say, but the Doctor’s feet remained firmly rooted on the marble floors.

“Doctor-”

“A possession?” The Doctor spat. She remained still, but she didn’t need movement to convey the storm of emotion that was crashing against her insides. “A possession ? Y/N is not a possession. Y/N is-! Eleven years- And I- This is my-”

It almost felt wrong to be in this position. The Doctor wasn’t someone who broke down this easily; she was the one who was supposed to be calm, cool, collected or at the very least, her own disorderly version of that. To be so bare in front of the people she had promised she would keep safe wasn’t right. It wasn’t right that Yaz was leading her over to a bench, her hands on her shoulders in a calming motion. It wasn’t right that the cracks the Doctor had patched up were starting to show once again, the contents inside slipping through in the form of shaky hands and inability to form words.

“Okay, Doctor, listen,” Yaz said softly. “I need you to calm down. Breathe. If you get any louder, he’ll hear you over there and for some reason, I’m under the impression that that would be a very bad thing. Can you do that for me?”

The Doctor nodded silently, though her face said all the words that were needed. She wanted to say more, much more, but she was just as much aware as Yaz that allowing herself to speak at even a decibel higher could cause more issues. There were plenty of those as it were.

She took in a few deep breaths, effectively slowing her rapid heartbeats. She tugged at the roots of her hair to ground herself. If she focused on the slightly painful sensation, she could pull herself out of the sudden hurricane of emotion that surrounded her.

Maybe it wasn’t all that sudden.

This storm, this constant thrashing inside her body, it had been with her for years. Since her 11th face. It wasn’t the usual hum of chaos she felt, no. This one had a name, and it was yours. If she thought about it, and you were so hard not to think about, it would grow. So, she did what she always did when she felt the clouds begin to form: she ran. At one point, she even became a monk just to sequester herself away behind brick and mortar so that the storm couldn’t get in. Or maybe it was to keep the storm from hurting others, she never really knew.

For so long, it was a dull ache in the Doctor’s chest. It never fully went away, and a small piece of her didn’t want it to. She deluded herself for a time into thinking that it was a good thing. If she still felt the pain, she would always remember to look for you. Every adventure would double as a search for the companion she so stupidly lost. When, in reality, it was just her way of punishing herself over and over and over again.

The Doctor thought that if she found you, the storm would dissipate. Yet, there you were, and it was as if the storm had consumed her and ripped her apart to the point where even a regeneration wouldn’t save her.

You were trapped, as far as she could tell. Forced to live in this memory for eleven- the mocking irony was not lost on the Doctor- years! This memory that was supposed to be one of the most cherished you had, and it could soon become a nightmare once the Doctor figured out a way to get you out of there. A thousand possibilities of just how filled every centimeter of matter in her brain with the most prominent being her taking the antiquette hoverboard Yaz sent Ryan and Hacell to and smashing it against the glass.

“Who is this?” Yaz asked once she thought the Doctor was sufficiently stable. She didn’t have to look at you for the Doctor to know who she was talking about, but Yaz couldn’t help but examine you.

You were no longer dancing, simply opting to grab something from the bar at the back of the club. With a glass of clear colored liquid in your hand, you brought it up to your lips. Over the rim, you made playful eye contact with the man the Doctor no longer recognized as herself. She remembered that gleam of your eye. When your loss was still a fresh wound, that gleam would replay in her head like a DVD that scratched in just the right place.

“That’s Y/N,” The Doctor began slowly. If she spoke any quicker, her grip on her control would’ve loosened. “They… They were a companion of mine not too long ago.”

“What happened? I mean…” The crease in Yaz’s brow returned as she searched for the right words. “How did you two get separated?”

The Doctor studied her hands. Those hands. Two sets of hands ago, they were the ones that put you in this position, even if indirectly. “I lost them.”

“They passed away?” Graham asked.

“No, I lost them,” The Doctor corrected with a self-repulsed tone. “We had a… Something happened and they went through a rip in the time stream. Ended up somewhere in all of time and space. And I… I looked everywhere I could but- but all of time and space is a lot of ground to cover. So I just… I couldn’t find them. Until now, I suppose.”

The Doctor always made it clear that these excursions were dangerous. Taking her hand that she offered as she promised you journeys across the stars meant more than trips to the museum or drinking alien mojitos on a beach with blue sand and pink waters. There were always things at stake. They knew that, she made sure they did if Grace’s death hadn’t already. More often than not, the Doctor would stare those stakes in the face with that smile of hers that said “everything’s gonna be okay.” This was one of those rare moments they’d seen the weight of it on her shoulders.

“That must’ve been hard, Doctor,” Graham said empathetically. He knew the pain of having someone you love slip through your fingers, the Doctor knew that. But he didn’t know this pain and she doubted anyone did. “But you have to know that it wasn’t your fault. They fell. You couldn’t have known.”

The Doctor slowly stood to her feet. Shaking her head wistfully, she put a hand on the glass, thankful most of the other patrons had found other things to ogle at. She sighed, “Yeah… Except they didn’t fall. They jumped.”

[pages-of-us]

The Surprise Plan (or Lack Thereof)

The Zane household was never one for quiet, but in the week leading up to Andrew’s birthday, the chaos levels went nuclear. Ralph had concocted an ambitious plan to surprise Andrew with a full-fledged birthday party, complete with decorations, cake, and all his favorite foods. To pull it off, he had recruited the kids: Yazmin, Ellias, and Elliot.

What Ralph hadn’t fully considered was the sheer unpredictability of his team.

**********************************************************************

The planning session began in the living room with Ralph standing in front of a whiteboard he’d brought down from the study.

“Okay, team,” he began, tapping the board with a marker. “This is Operation: Surprise Dadda. We’ve got one week to pull off the best birthday party he’s ever had. No slip-ups, no spilling the beans. Understood?”

“Understood!” Yazmin said enthusiastically, saluting him.

Ellias raised his hand. “What if he asks questions? Dadda’s really good at figuring stuff out.”

“We lie,” Yazmin said bluntly.

“Yaz!” Ralph groaned.

“What? It’s for a good cause,” she said, shrugging.

Elliot, ever the practical one, adjusted his glasses. “We could just act normal. If we’re too weird, he’ll get suspicious.”

“Good idea,” Ralph said. “Now, the first step is decorations. Yazmin, you’re in charge of balloons and streamers.”

“On it!” she said, already bouncing in place.

“Ellias, you’ll help me pick up the cake on Friday, and Elliot, you’ll handle the banner and table setup.”

“Why do I have to do the boring stuff?” Ellias grumbled.

“Because Yaz is already on balloons,” Ralph said.

“And I’ll do it better,” Yazmin added, sticking her tongue out.

Ralph pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a long week.

**********************************************************************

The next day, Ralph took the kids to the party store while Andrew stayed home, happily oblivious. The trip was supposed to be quick and efficient, but Ralph quickly learned that efficiency was not in the Zane children’s vocabulary.

“I want these!” Yazmin said, holding up a pack of sparkly unicorn balloons.

“Dadda doesn’t even like unicorns,” Ellias pointed out. “We should get cricket stuff.”

“Boring,” Yazmin said, tossing the cricket-themed banner back onto the shelf.

Ralph stepped in, attempting to mediate. “How about something neutral? Like blue and gold?”

“Fine,” Yazmin huffed. “But we’re getting these sparkly ones too. For flair.”

The struggle continued in the cake topper aisle, where Yazmin argued for edible glitter, Ellias lobbied for a cricket bat-shaped topper, and Elliot quietly picked a simple “Happy Birthday” design that ultimately won Ralph’s approval.

By the time they got home, Ralph was juggling three shopping bags and a headache.

**********************************************************************

Keeping the surprise under wraps proved to be a monumental task. Andrew was naturally curious and, as Ralph had warned, “too observant for his own good.”

“Why is there a receipt from a party store on the counter?” Andrew asked over breakfast.

Ralph froze mid-bite, exchanging panicked glances with the kids.

“Oh, uh… that’s for… a school project!” Yazmin blurted out.

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “A school project that involves balloons and streamers?”

“Yes!” Yazmin said, nodding furiously.

Elliot chimed in, trying to steer the conversation. “It’s for a group presentation. Very hands-on.”

Andrew’s skeptical gaze lingered, but he shrugged. “All right. Just don’t leave your ‘project supplies’ in the pantry again.”

Ralph glared at Yazmin, who looked sheepish.

**********************************************************************

Ralph decided it would be a good idea to test their baking skills before the big day. The kids insisted on making the cake themselves, which Ralph reluctantly allowed under strict supervision.

“Okay, first we mix the batter,” Ralph instructed.

Yazmin cracked an egg directly onto the counter. “Oops.”

Ellias dumped flour into the bowl, creating a white cloud that coated everyone in the kitchen. Elliot, the only one reading the recipe, sighed. “You’re supposed to sift it first.”

By the time the cake went into the oven, the kitchen looked like a war zone. The end result was lopsided and slightly burnt, but Yazmin proudly covered it with sprinkles.

“It’s perfect,” she declared.

Ralph stared at the cake, then at the mess. “Let’s call this a trial run.”

**********************************************************************

Friday arrived, and the house was a flurry of activity. Ralph had sent Andrew to a spa day under the guise of “treating himself,” giving them a few precious hours to set up.

“Streamers go here,” Ralph said, pointing to the archway.

“I got it!” Yazmin said, climbing onto a chair.

“Careful!” Elliot warned as she wobbled precariously.

Ellias, meanwhile, was in charge of balloons but kept getting distracted by Yazmin’s antics. “Are you sure that’s straight?” he asked, tilting his head.

“It’s artistic!” Yazmin shot back.

By the time Andrew returned, the house was decked out with blue and gold balloons, streamers, and a massive banner reading Happy Birthday, Dadda! The lopsided cake sat proudly on the table, surrounded by snacks.

Andrew stepped inside, his jaw dropping. “What’s all this?”

“Surprise!” the kids shouted, popping out from their hiding spots.

“We planned it all ourselves!” Yazmin added, beaming.

“Well… with some help,” Elliot admitted, glancing at Ralph.

Andrew’s eyes filled with warmth as he pulled everyone into a hug. “You’re terrible at keeping secrets, but this is perfect. Thank you.”

As they sat down to enjoy the party, Ralph leaned over to Andrew, smiling. “Happy birthday, love. You deserve every bit of this chaos.”

“And I love every bit of it,” Andrew replied, squeezing his hand.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (813): Fri 7th Jun 2024

I read a story about a group of soldiers who, during World War Two tricked the Nazis with an army of inflatable tanks. This sounds like an episode of Dad’s Army and as I read on I was expecting to read that the wind picked up and it turned out there was a hedgehog taking a nap next to the inflatable tank. A better plan would've been to fill the tanks with helium and the Nazis would go back to Hitler screaming “Mein Fuhrer, the English they have flying tanks”

Tuned into tonight's Hollyoaks who are apparently employing some sort of subliminal advertising. I mean tell me we're not supposed to fancy a Happy Meal after seeing Cindy dressed like this: 

The episode mostly focused on Tom trying to patch things up between Misbah and Zain. I think Tom is determined to fix the Mallik family's marital problems because he feels guilty about banging Peri behind Yaz's back but why hasn't Misbah told Tom to swivel on her mid didge? He's the last person she'd want help from and after she found out he'd broke her daughter's heart she should have shut him out of her life forever. I have to say I'm not digging this Misbah affair storyline at all. I know it's a bit silly to talk about what a fictional character would / wouldn't do but Misbah Mallik is a very disciplined and devoted Muslim woman whose priority in life has always been her family. She would never WANT to have an affair much less have a moment of weakness where she'd allow herself to kiss another man. So this entire storyline is based on a flawed premise and as such the fallout doesn't make sense. This would be like Big Bird from Sesame Street becoming a drug smuggler, it just wouldn't happen.