#yay fandom experiences

[soulsam]

1 & 14 for the ask game!

ray omg thank you for indulging me...

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

oh, man...i guess it was uh. south park? or fruits basket? the first fanfiction i ever wrote was a crossover between those two things. i can't believe i'm making this information public but. well. there it is

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

brotps, huh...the first one that comes to mind is sam and rowena (from spn obviously), i don't really ship them romantically but i love their scenes together and i loved watching them slowly build trust over the course of rowena's time on the show and i wish she had taught him more witchcraft :(

another one is vash and wolfwood from trigun, i actually do like them romantically but they're not my primary ship (looking at you, plantcest) so i really enjoy them as besties. honestly vash and meryl too, give that boy more friends please

this last one is a weird one but. shen qingqiu and shang qinghua from the scum villain's self-saving system. they are brothers in isekai and i love watching them bicker and deny their feelings for their respective hunky demon beaus. they're just hilarious together

special mention to rinne and himeru enstars i have a lot i could say about them probably but i can't. i can't do that here so i will just leave it at that

[deepdwellingsteamboat]

DISHONORED (2012) Office of the High Overseer ☛ Kennels

[moeblob]

lil meow meow (affectionate)

[soullessjack]

not a samgirl not a deangirl not a casgirl but a fourth secret and far more sinister thing

[dorianbrightmusic]

an interpretation of kieran’s mental health in the indigo disk

One thing that’s me very consistently while playing through the Indigo Disk DLC is how Kieran’s behaviour, though erratic, feels horrifyingly believable through a certain lens. Many of his behaviours are painfully reminiscent of my own memories of having anorexia nervosa—and while that’s absolutely not the sole reason someone could break down into an antithetical version of themself as dramatically as Kieran does, I think that as a reading, it can actually coexist very nicely with the actual plot reasoning of ‘competitive tunnel vision’. If anything, it would complement his competitive frenzy quite effectively.

I’m aware this is a risky and hyper-specific interpretation to share, but I’m posting my reasoning beneath the cut, since I think it’s worth sharing not just as a reading of Pokemon, but also as an intersectional look at ED pathology that doesn’t focus so much on either food or figure. Every time I’ve headcanoned a character as anorexic, it’s been because their behaviours seemed painfully perfectionistic and inflexible (see Seto Kaiba), rather than because they looked a particular way. Obviously, massive trigger warning for discussion of restrictive EDs as attempts at self-destruction.

(n.b. None of this is necessarily based on what I've read in scientific papers so much as on experience and observation of others with this disease. As such, if this feels a bit Freud-y-mumbo-jumbo-y, it probably is.)

Let’s start by looking at where Kieran starts out. In Kitakami, he’s stunningly isolated at the best of times. He thinks in extremes—good, bad; hero, villain; strong, weak. His relationship with his sister isn’t bad, per se, but she’s tempestuous and brash, whereas he’s sensitive and fearful. Her attempts to protect him from the worst of the world reinforce his sense of weakness—she shelters him in the harshest way possible, simultaneously expecting him to be tough enough to bear her toughness and weak enough to be able to tolerate nothing else. And though he attends a specialised school for battle, he’s long been the designated weak sibling; as such, he cannot, by nature, be considered admirable at Blueberry Academy. At home and school alike, he feels less than, and desperately lonely. 

To cope, he renders weakness and loneliness as part of his identity, and latches onto the idea of Ogerpon as a courageous outcast, rather than as a villain. It’s an awkward, immature means of coping, as its sole mechanism of granting him any sense of worth further entrenches his isolation and inferiority complex. In defying conventional wisdom on local mythology, he’s choosing to distrust others’ judgement, cutting off any chances of accepting others’ approbation, and locking himself into his own estrangement. His sense of self is constructed around total denial of the fact that being isolated still hurts. So long as he takes up in fantasy, he can’t acknowledge the reality of hating loneliness; and, every time this loneliness and weakness is brought to his attention, he’s suddenly dealing with years of feeling worthless, as compressed into a single moment. As such, he takes defeat awfully, and, having built up very few other ways of coping over the years, gets stupendously angry.

When somebody who’s not from the village comes along, however, maybe he has room to be seen as sensible, rather than contrarian—and, when the player is accepting and kind, he realises that maybe, maybe, there’s room for him to be likeable, worthwhile, in someone’s eyes, after all. So, it’s little wonder that he clings hard to the player, and becomes painfully attached after one day. The player’s affirmation is basically all he has by way of a positive sense of self outside of his own distorted interpretation of legends. Then, cue the player lying to him and taking away Ogerpon. This moment has removed both of Kieran’s last bastions of positive self-image, of ‘maybe it’s okay to be weak, maybe I’m worthwhile anyway’. To him, this isn’t just a minor betrayal—it’s the destruction of his ability to have a sense of worth. It’s pressing on a pain that he’s been systematically ignoring, and reminding him just how much it hurts. 

All he knows, though, is denial—so, to deal with this, he needs to create a new sense of self that can ignore the pain of being weak. But since identifying with weakness hasn’t worked for him, he now attempts the opposite, and takes to pursuing strength at any cost. If he’s strong, then how can weakness hurt him, right?

Except this time, the denial is more extreme, more overtly compartmentalised. He assumes a new team, a new hairstyle, a new manner of talking, dressing, acting. He builds up new rules for life, strict as can be, and brooks no exceptions for any weakness. He is trying, in every way possible, to obliterate the existence of the boy from Kitakami.

An obliterated existence/A dual self

I’d like to pause for a moment here to discuss the compartmentalisation of identity that takes place in anorexia nervosa, as I think it’s relevant here.

Anorexia is a coping mechanism—specifically, the disease promises that by supplanting some part of the self that is currently extremely distressed, it can remove the pain and control the situation. The anorexic personality comes from the original personality, but promises to fulfil its ideals by any means possible. So, seeking a sense of security, the afflicted person compartmentalises—the anorexic personality deals with this thing, the healthy personality with that thing—and reserves the healthy personality from having to deal with distress. The problem is, the illness doesn’t usually fix the problem it promised to, but creates many more. But because it allows one to deny psychic pain, it feels comforting—‘I’m in control of this situation, and the powerless part of me has been obliterated’. Rather than resolve the issues created by the illness by attenuating anorexic behaviours, the person tries to instead brute-force fix things with more anorexia; and onward goes the vicious cycle. In doing this, the afflicted person cedes control of their life to the illness, and, over time, comes to identify with it. While it blocks out their source of pain, it also bonds them to it, forcing them to acquiesce to, if not actively seek out, the increasing physical and emotional toll of the illness.

(I promise it gets better.)

The anorexic personality is split into pieces—the healthy self, and the anorexic self—and the healthy self is usually still dealing with something, so doesn’t feel healthy enough to deal with the things the anorexic self deals with. At first, these selves can be very distinct—the anorexic self often be strict, perfectionistic, and tight-lipped, unwilling to burden others with the original self’s vulnerability. Strict rules and schedules often come to dominate the person’s life while they’re ill—must work this hard, do these things and these times. Over time, the boundary between the healthy and sick selves becomes increasingly murky—one’s mind is invaded from the inside—and the original personality changes further to accommodate the illness. To complicate things further, anorexics tend to not only conceal their distress from themselves, but conceal their illness—and the underlying upset—from others. This is much easier to pull off if you’re isolated to begin with. Recovery thus isn’t merely physical, but psychological, trying to rehabilitate and reintegrate the original identity after a period of being compartmentalised and fragmented. This involves abandoning a coping mechanism and confronting pain that had been abnegated throughout and prior to the illness, so is more complex than just trying to attenuate anorexic cognitions and behaviours. 

Another look at Kieran

Kieran is unbearably lonely, and has long been trying to deny this loneliness in some way or another. Even when he’s identified with the loneliness, he’s done so in order to try to avoid the associated pain. It’s not really acceptance, in that it’s volatile, so much as unsophisticated avoidance hidden by a veneer of acceptance. This unbearable loneliness is his underlying problem—and even back on Kitakami, he’s very much trying—and failing—to push it down. The events of The Teal Mask are enough to show him that denial through surface acceptance isn’t going to cut it, as his relationships with the player and Ogerpon (or at least the idea of Ogerpon) have reinforced how incredibly alone he is.

When he flips on his axis to pursue strength, he’s not pursuing any more sophisticated a means of coping than before, but he’s being much, much more overt about it. Though the source of his angst is, in fact, loneliness and an inferiority complex, he’s convinced himself that the problem is not that he’s alone, but that he’s weak. If he can deal with the weakness, why would he care about feeling lonely? And since the boy from Kitakami was weak, that personality has got to go. Kieran develops a second self, and hands control of his life over to this self, expecting it to resolve the problem that he’s weak. He becomes brutal, because if he can tolerate his own brutality, why should anyone else struggle? He used to be weak, weaker than any of them, after all. 

Pokémon training, realistically, is a form of exercise. And as weak a kid as he’s always been, he’ll make himself stronger, now, so he’ll train, however much hell it is for his team, his classmates, his sister, however much strain it puts on his body, as he barely rests, barely sleeps, barely stops by his room to cook himself anything. Does he need sustenance, when the whole point of this work is to bury his weakness, starve the kid inside himself of his own name and face? Externally, he’s attempted to obliterate the appearance of the kid he used to be – not just in the sense of changing his appearance and his demeanour, but also trying his best to alter his reputation. Physically and behaviorally, he needs to change, he thinks, to block out his weakness, lest it be obvious to an onlooker. Anything less than being a perfect champion will destroy him. 

What happens, then, when the player takes his title, and Drayton ridicules him as ex-champion? Kieran has been hoist with his own petard—with his title in shreds, his identity, too, is in pieces. The player has destroyed him. He’s destroyed himself. And years, years, of abnegated misery now come crashing down once again. So, he makes one final attempt to seize glory with Terapagos, for indeed, other than glory, he has nothing. For the first time, he has to confront the fact that he has nothing. That’s terrifying. What can he do but lash out? He’s been pressing down the scared kid inside for a long time, and as such, that scared, angry part of him is in a state of prodigiously arrested development. So, he screams and he screams. And then, at last, he can start to repent. So, he helps the player. And then, the two of them get to start over—as friends, rivals, family. 

This is recovery: desperately clinging to dysfunction, only to reconcile with being powerless, and, at last, to choose to come back, to walk away from the wreck made of oneself. Kieran must go home to Kitakami—he had no choice, because there was where his real issue—loneliness—had started. (If he didn’t attend a lot of therapy throughout this time, I’ll be amazed.) And, in his time away from school, after finally breaking down and admitting before Terapagos, before the player, before Briar and Carmine, that he had nothing, nobody, he was always going to have to learn, somehow, how to have something, someone, and how to pay respects to the absent space left for both in the meantime. And when he finally comes back to Blueberry, he’s integrated bits of both of his selves. The timid boy from Kitakami is still there, but now has a spine. The tough, one-track-minded champion helps him stay focussed, but doesn’t seep into his personal life—or at least, not to the exclusion of the kinder part of him. He’s not the same kid he used to be—part of that kid died somewhere along the way, in some sense—but at last, he can acknowledge what he really was—scared and lonely—and, with the courage and strength he once misapplied, he can finally move forward, and learn how to breathe again. 

[hoe4kai]

still not getting over the time when my ex (bf at the time) went on call with his ex gf and her 5 other friends, which all liked him and they took loads of screenshots on call and put it on their story. then he proceeded to tell them that he'd fuck them all. can't trust any man istg.

shout out to my bsf for telling me about it <3

[loverboybrightsideghost]

oh fuck good omens s2 comes out in two days

[hyperfixated-homo]

its so weird transitioning from sasi to other fandoms on tumblr,,, at first i was like "damn, nobody in this fandom reblogs things, that's weird" but then i realised its more like the sasi fandom is REALLY GOOD at reblogging things. especially with little comments in the tags? i haven't really seen that in any other fandom. wild

[c-nan]

ohhoho work on my upcoming fics/fic updates are in full steam

[llilyrose]

llilyrose spends her time analyzing aroace stuff. yay.

isat spoilers afoot

what i especially like about the way adrienne wrote mira's orientation is the lack of room for interpretation. yes they snuck aroace talk into fantasy france, but just stop and think for a minute. what would happen if mira just said "i'm aroace" or "i don't feel love the same way" instead of all the nuance we got to her character in the friend quest convo?

we know she's sex repulsed, we know she's romance repulsed. we know she loves fiction that has those things in it, loves interpreting fictional characters that way, but can't bare to see herself in that situation. it makes a lot of sense with regards to her location (vaugarde, a very sex-positive and romance-adamant country) and also with regards to herself (the way she feels about her environment). Of course she wouldn't blame other folk around her for engaging with their religion the "correct" way, of course she'd internalize all her feelings of being outcast and turn it back on herself.

The fandom respects this! Nobody ships her romantically, or sexually, because we know she's not into that. We know she would never and i know a bunch of people who would punch you for even thinking it!

Now what if Adrienne hadn't put this in the game? What if they had just said on their tumblr one day, "mira's aroace," or something. where would we be now? aspec shipping discourse would definitely take the reins. we'd have people shipping her in all kinds of different ways, bending the aroace character to the best of their ability because they could still be into sex, or romance, or whatever. this is TRUE, it's POSSIBLE, but there's no nuance. We wouldn't know the way Mira really feels about these things unless Adrienne told us, so a lot of people would either ignore/"work around" her identity or just wouldn't even know about it to begin with!

Introducing mira's orientation in the way adrienne did leaves no room for discourse. we know if she's sex-positive, sex-negative, how she reacted to finding out she was, etc. It provides so much more representation than a simple "I'm aroace" ever could. It's such a wide label, so finally having CONCRETE information about a canonical aroace's experiences with their orientation is so, so freeing and honestly quite refreshing. and it's worked into the story seamlessly!!!

She's not an emotionless carcass with no capacity for love, she's not outwardly detesting sex or romance at every possible moment, she's simply a well-rounded character who happens to be aroace. You have time to warm up to her before ever even finding out about her orientation! Or having any clue at all (barring maybe the suspicious sketches)!!!!! Aroace people are real!!! We're so real!!!!

Speaking of the suspicious sketches! We know siffrin's alloace (from, like, one line of dialogue), but we don't know if he's sex-repulsed. Adrienne's gone on record to say "aces can still have sex" in reference to siffrin, so I'm inclined to believe he has at least some sort of libido.

When looking at the sketches, both him and mira have a repulsed reaction. I think there are three possible reasons for Siffrin here!

Siffrin is sex-repulsed and has a visceral reaction to them because he thinks it's gross.

Siffrin has no libido because the stress overrides everything in his system. That combined with his ace identity would probably lead to a distaste for the papers.

Some people would NOT GET THE MEMO from the act 3 friendquest. Sometimes when you're writing you have to account for the gamers being really really dense. Some people didn't even understand the Isa friendquest was him coming out as trans basically. Since Ace characters are hard to "prove" unless they explicitly state they dislike sex, this line of dialogue might've just been there to drill it in that Siffrin is ace because the only other place we see that implication is one line in the friendquest. It could even have no tie to his relationship with sex, who knows?

one of these options is not like the others! /silly

I couldn't tell you which one of those it is, but i think at least one of them had to have hit the mark. It's a lot harder to decode siffrin's sexuality when we only get like 5 lines of dialogue total that vaguely even reference it

With this we come back to the issue from earlier: He could be demi, he could be ace, he could be sex-repulsed, he could not! Most people write them sex-repulsed and I'm personally on that bandwagon, but interpreting them a different way isn't any less correct unless you completely ignore the fact they're ace in the first place.

Even sex-positive aces have complicated relationships with sex. Some do it for the gratification, some simply have higher libido and can't think of a different way to get it out, and others only do it to please their partner.

I think writing an ace character as sex-positive should be seen as a character study instead of an excuse to ship two characters together. Is this character the type to even enjoy it in the first place? How often? How do they interact with it? Etc. Which I think is what Adrienne was talking about when she said "aces can still have sex." We don't know about siffrin's identity, we don't have a grasp on the nuance, but we do know he's ace and that he experiences love differently from the way mirabelle does, and the way isabeau does, and the way odile does, and what have you.

I love love love the representation we get in isat. An aroace, an alloace, and someone that a lot of fans headcanon as aroallo though it's unconfirmed. Even if Odile's not aro, we still get that line of dialogue about not finding romance suitable for her at the moment, which speaks true to a different experience altogether. No two characters experience love, experience life the same in isat. That's why i get to make a tumblr text post that's a bit too long exploring the different avenues adrienne took when writing the characters lol :')

[dancermk]

I’m a little disappointed to see so much discourse, fandom competitiveness, and plain arguing going around at the moment in regards to queer film/TV. People complaining about too much sex, not enough sex, too cheesy, made for the hets, too happy, too sad, too realistic, too unrealistic, and a million other petty issues. I, for one, am a queer person in my 50s and I grew up with practically zero representation! Yes, we want to continue onwards and upwards with quality and varied shows BUT let’s be HAPPY we now have representation! Like, actual shows where the central characters are queer, not just a side character who gets f*cking murdered! There is room for all different types of representation - so enjoy the types you like, and let others enjoy what they like.

And on a side note: progress is progress and film/tv is a business that has to turn a profit! If some queer content is made to appeal to the straight community, and will also act as a means of reducing homophobia and increasing understanding, then that’s a good thing. That means in the future more and more content will include queer stories and representation. If only 10% (ish) of the population is the maximum target audience then shows won’t keep getting made!

There is a huge backlash all over the world right now - a “push back” by conservatives and religious groups that want to wind back the clock, and specifically the last decade of advances.

So stick together queers and LGBTQIA+ allies.

I’m super happy knowing I don’t have to wait years between content anymore. And I’ve loved all different types of shows over the last 5 years, for lots of different reasons!

Interview with the Vampire - is giving me the toxic, passionate gothic love affair I’ve always wanted. And addressing interracial relationships.

Heartstopper - is filling me up with pure joy and hopefulness for the future.

Shameless - gave me Ian and Mickey - unique, anti stereotypical gays with a tragic yet ultimately beautiful love story spanning 11 years

Lone Star 911 - is giving me TK and Carlos whose sexuality barely factors into the storyline! Yay!

Looking - gave me an authentic queer experience and an intoxicating love triangle.

Red, white and Royal Blue - gave me a sweet, cute romcom that allowed reality to be sidelined. Fun escapism!

Young Royals - had me captivated by first love and intense angst.

Fire Island - an underrated romcom that made me laugh so hard I cried.

Sex education - shoved the realities of sex in our faces and provided me with laughter and drama and a range of queer identities.

Gentlemen Jack -gave me historical lesbians with spectacular wit, and feminine power.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg- because there’s SO SO SO many more shows I could mention! Don’t at me because I didn’t mention YOUR favourite. This is my point! There is SO much great content it would take all day for me to include everything. This is just a sample - and that’s f*cking brilliant!!

So maybe we could all start posting/tweeting etc about what WE DO LIKE / LOVE / MAKES US FEEL LOVED AND SEEN and put down the device if we’ve got nothing nice to say.

Sending everyone a love filled week! 💜

[ouchmyghostskin]

Season 2 predictions regarding payneland:

I've been having thoughts since seeing the cameo where George said that there was a deleted scene post confession/ pre Crystal saying goodbye, where Edwin encouraged Charles to be honest with her about how he feels (which is kinda insane character development compared to episode one??? But good for him). Granted , they deleted it and we don't know why, but I'm going to assume it was for space/time etc. Originally I wasn't really sure if Edwin had picked up on the open-endedness of Charles saying that they had forever to figure it out, though I suspected he hadn't, but I thought that if he *had* that he would most likely wait. But now I think that Edwin probably saw that as "I don't reciprocate but don't worry we'll figure everything out". So I think the likelihood that Edwin might pursue something with someone else in season 2 is a definite possibility. Fully accepting Charles "rejection" and consciously deciding to address his loneliness and desire for romantic/sexual connection, despite his feelings for Charles. And....I suspect it's going to be the cat king. And I suspect that Charles is going to be caught between his interest in Crystal and insane jealousy about Edwin, and it's going to be the catalyst for him realizing that his jealousy is romantic in nature.

There is always the possibility payneland isn't endgame but I'm an optimist 👌

Now for some personal thoughts about the above that has some mildly negative feelings about catwin so if you would rather not read you can scroll now. 👍. Yay for curating your fandom experience!

So I'll be honest, there isn't even a small part of me that ships catwin. I thought the plot line was interesting, and I think the cat king is an interesting character that functions very well as a catalyst. I don't *hate* it and I have absolutely zero negative thoughts about people who enjoy it, just to be clear about that. Ship whatever you want, it's all paper dolls in a sandbox to me. For me personally though, I found the dynamic coercive enough to put me off it entirely as a ship. (For some people that's fun to explore, or ignore, in ships for a wide variety of reasons that I have zero desire to police, so again, I'm not criticizing catwin shippers). Secondarily , I actually don't ship characters all that often, but when I do Im pretty OTP about it, so that's contributing. But if that's the direction they're going in , it makes sense for them to continue with the cat king since it's established that Edwin is attracted to him, and has appeared to forgive him for manipulating him in season 1. So....I'll not be thrilled to see catwin content in season 2? But I can grimace through it if it's not endgame. Also...I've seen whispers that indicate some parts of fandom don't enjoy the jealousy plotline specifically bc they feel jealousy is harmful? I get it if it just doesn't interest you or brings up bad memories, but emotions don't harm others. Being angry or jealous is an almost unavoidable part of the human experience. Only your behavior motivated by those emotions can harm people. So ...I'm ALL for Charles continuing to grapple with emotions like jealousy and anger and coming to terms with realizing they don't make him an abusive person. Even if he handles it imperfectly that's still an interesting flaw, and there's an extremely large sliding scale of behavior between "that's something to work on but you are a great person" and actually harmful/abusive. Yay nuance!

[whump-obsessed-less-stressed]

Umm... hi! ?

I've been lurking around here for almost a year aand I've finally built up the courage to make my own blog?? Idek? oh wow never expected that tbh I'm surprised of myself

Name: My name is Em, Ems or Wrath, pick your poison lol

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Umm old enough but also young??

About me: Ummm- I'm in multiple fandoms (like A TON), average whump enjoyer (maybe a bit more than that but shh), I like writing (duh), I do fencing?? (Whumpy sport??? I mean I get to stab people with swords-), I've got adhd and way too much free time! Chronically online. Book & fanfic addict

Whump: I've always enjoyed whump since I was a little kid but I was always veery much embarassed because I thought it was wrong ("Oh yes let's play doctor but you're actually an evil psycho who wants to do experiments on me" "..........." "WHAT THE-"). Then I found that there's people like me in here! Love me some whumper friends.

TROPES/WHUMPY STUFF I ENJOY YAY:

Lady whump

Used as a bait

Pet whump

Bound/gagged

Lab rat whump

Magic whump

RESTRAINTS!!!!

Betrayal whump

ENVIRONMENTAL WHUMP

MAGIC!! Eg. Supernatural whumpees/whumpers etc.

Probably a ton more but those are the most important ones?

Blogs: So, my fav blogs are @painsandconfusion @whumpninja @whumblr @whump-is-love-whump-is-life @whumpshaped @whumperofworlds @jump-in-the-whump @jordanstrophe aand many other ones though--

Might make a post about my whumpees/whumpers/caretakers and WIPS later?

[bloggingboutburgers]

I think everyone will benefit from properly tagging posts. xreader fics abd ship fics ONLY include the relevent _x_ tags but none of the character's name on its own, allowing all the usual fanart, theories and such to stay on the main name tag and not be crowded out by horny fanfiction (I say this as someone who very much enjoys very horny, very smutty xreader fanfictions. I want to be able to search the fics I want directly without having to trawl through headcanon posts, fanart, unrelated ship posts, etc.).

No one really has a tailored experience on the internet (I'm glad tumblr is at least a little more user dictated than advertiser algorithm based), but I do get the frustration and discomfort that comes from the abundant hornyposting feeling inescapable.

It's tempting to take offence to persistent cries against xreader stuff. I like special POV episodes of shows for the same reason I like xreader fics. My favourite characters WERE the company I kept, my only real form of companionship (albeit simulated) for many many years. Not because I am allo, basically. I sought something to meet my social needs growing up where I was unable to find community or companionship in real life.

Unfortunately, because they are usually sexual in nature I just came to associate a need for human connection with sex (so am I allo or just conditioned to blend sexual, platonic and romantic feelings and actions together?). I was just happy to feel like I had someone to hang out with. I knew they weren't real and that I needed to find real people to connect with (not for lack of trying, kids are just cruel. Finally made friends as an adult, yay).

Didn't intend for any of that to be so sad or pathetic, but hopefully it gives context for the prevalence of xreader fics. Alongside the varied reasons people write / read them (no just blind allo horniness), especially in light of the widespread loneliness epidemic over the past decade.

It's still more than ok to not want anything to do with them either (be it due to being aroace or not - I know plenty of allos who find xreader fics cringe).

Something I need to clarify here – we get it. Well, we don't fundamentally get it, but trust me, we've been told time and time again why people would write/draw/be into xreader content (it's all part of the package of "aroaces MUST put themselves in allo people's shoes at all times"), and we know they're perfectly legitimate reasons, and we don't find it sad or pathetic, or cringe. At the very least I don't at all. That's not what it's about. It's not something as surface-level at that.

The thing is... The same kind of understanding effort is VERY rarely put forward in return for us. And the fact that we're perceived as naysayers is symptomatic of this. We're not crying against xreader content. People are free to do whatever they want. We just want it to be tagged to keep ourselves safe, and so we can appreciate some variety and find fandom content we can properly connect with with the identity we have.

The issue isn't that there is xreader content, or heck, that there's lots of it. It's that, as @kaoruko-han put it, "everyone is assumed to be into this", and that you can't express something as simple as "I'd rather read something else" without being finger-pointed as a villain.

Yeah, no one has a tailored experience online, but there's still a very clear lack of balance on what is acceptable to tailor to or not (and for us, that includes tumblr). And trying to find fan-content while being sex-repulsed? Bruh, you'd better pray on your lucky stars and be ready to trudge through an ocean of stuff that's loaded with the very thing that makes you scared, uncomfortable or downright triggers a feeling of sickness in you, because a lot of it ain't tagged. An alarming amount of people don't bother, because why would people like you exist, right? There's only ever them, and puritan bigots. It's that black and white in a lot of people's heads.

Here's the difference though: we, too, want people to be able to vibe to whatever fan content they want. We just wish "people" included us properly in this case. As it stands now, trying to find fan content that won't give you an uncomfortable feeling as a sex-repulsed person feels kinda like this (I'll try to illustrate that to the best of my ability as a vague comparison, please no one take that as a clear parallel, I'm literally just trying to explain how it feels in a way people who have no idea how it feels might understand): you're not into gore at all, you don't wanna look at it, but your streaming platform keeps recommending you those series that are loaded with gore. You try to filter it out, but no matter where you go, you keep being recommended those series. And no one ever gets your discomfort and you're being branded as nothing but a wet blanket for not wanting to see gore. It's kinda like that.

At this point I admire sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed people who still TRY to find anything at all in fandom spaces. I've stopped reading fanfic altogether and I've largely stopped engaging with the large majority of fandom spaces for those reasons. And that wasn't an easy choice, or one that I find fun because it feels incredibly lonely, but it's the result of years of exhaustion and strain on my mental health trying to navigate something that's so hostile to me at its core, even if it's unintentional.

So... Yeah. We know the reasons, just like the content itself, they're kinda impossible to ignore. But we are largely being ignored in this, and it's not just something at an "ick" or "picky" level ; for a sex-repulsed person, being spammed with sex entails much more than that. It's not even frustration anymore at this point, it's downright despair a lot of the time. So... Yeah, like you said, everyone would benefit from stuff being more properly tagged. For us it'd be so huge to know our safety is taken into account – that we're taken into account at all. Thing is, we're not, and we're so invisible in this and most other things that at this point, I don't have much hope. Sex-related controversies allo people can understand would sooner create a change than anything done for our sake.

[whiskersz]

Ok yay someone who writes for husk!

So could you(if you don't wanna that's fine)

Do an x reader for husk where the reader works at the bar with him

I'm so new to the fandom, people don't write for him? Don't worry, I'm here to save the day!

This is kind of a ficlet, I could write a sequel if anyone is interested, left it somewhat open ended.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Actions speak louder

Give a beer glass a scrub, rinse, pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and then repeat; check the counter for stray stains, then wipe it down with a cloth dampened with dish soap and warm water in case there’s any; mix the occasional cocktail, wishing you’d be the one downing it on some days.

This is how most of your time is spent at the Hotel, working behind the counter of the bar with grumpy Husk, filling your days with repetitive tasks you were used to even before ending up in Hell. You’re comfortable here, some might even say it’s your own element.

You remember what it was like during your life, working at the bar, and the only word worthy of describing the experience would be ‘boring’. Chaotic on some particular days, yes, but it was mostly dull as your co-workers were a bit too accustomed to leaving all the hard work to you.

At the Hotel though, you find it almost therapeutic. Not too many residents, and you get along with the few that are there, plus it means no constant drink making nor cleaning; although the personality of your only co-worker is what you find most pleasing about this job.

There’s no use for useless small talk between the two of you, you’ve grown accustomed to each other enough that silence is well accepted during most of the day, and especially at night. It’s not rare for both of you to stay up late, anxiously waiting for the return of one of the other residents of the building, Angel Dust.

There’s no hiding that he struggles a lot, and you and Husk can do nothing but be there for him, unfortunately.

But once even he’s off to bed, you can finally give the bar one last quick clean and close it up together. And so again, give Angel’s glass a scrub, rinse, and then pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and put it away; he takes up the task of checking for stains on the counter and cleaning them up, telling you to hurry up and go to sleep.

You refuse, and say you need to tidy up the glasses one last time, something looks out of order.

It’s not true though, but you can’t simply say you’re waiting for him, surely that would make things between you a little awkward.

Which is why you’re surprised when you feel a light pressure on your back; Husk is shorter than you, shorter than most at the Hotel actually, and there seems to be nobody else around, so the only possible explanation for the pressure you’re feeling in the middle of your back is, well, your co-worker.

Relaxing into his touch you let out a soft sigh;

“Turning into a softie?” you say it mostly to cover up your shyness, glad he’s facing your back so he’s unable to see the tint of your cheeks.

“Shut up.” He retorts, voice low and tired.

The dim lights of the bar are soon after turned off, and a slow, drowsy kiss is shared on the top of the stairs leading to the various rooms of the Hotel. You and Husk depart for the night, both excited to scrub, rinse and repeat with each other tomorrow, though with newfound unanswered questions this time.

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 20

When I first started this story a year ago the only goal in mind was to get a sexy blood drinking scene between Steve and Eddie. Which yay! I achieved TWICE!

But then the story began to grow and twist and things kept getting more and more interesting. Plot deepened, twists turned sharper and characters began to take shape.

I'm grateful to everyone who held on this one even as interest for it waned. I'm happy that it started to gain more interest again at the end, because that's what kept me going all the way to the end.

I'm currently having someone read it (not in the ST fandom) to see if they think it has the potential to be an original fiction that could be published. I know she loved the story, but I have gotten back all her notes yet. So we'll see.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19

~

“It’s good thing that worked,” Brian said scratching the back his neck sheepishly. “I wasn’t sure my song worked on werewolves.”

“It doesn’t work on selkies?” Nancy asked.

Brian just shrugged.

“We were under water,” Barb explained, “we didn’t hear the song.”

Nancy eyed her suspiciously, but wisely said nothing to her friend.

“So now that everyone’s lives are no longer in danger,” Wayne said dryly. “You want to explain the whole ‘they don’t belong here’ statement?”

Nancy jumped at suddenly be addressed. “Oh, right! I knew there had to be more to the story than what the newspaper and the VHS report said.”

“Video Home System?” Jeff asked in confusion.

Wayne snorted and Eddie badly hid his grin.

“That’s what I said!” Eddie crowed.

Nancy rolled her eyes and decided to ignore the idiot vampires. “Van Helsing Society. They’re a secret police force that investigates these types of things.”

Alexei slowly inched out of the boathouse and everyone kept their eye on him.

“Dr. Brenner was doing a lot of experiments and not just on werewolves. He was looking into other dimensions as well.”

“What was the point of it all?” Steve asked.

Chrissy landed on the beach and said, “He was trying to create the perfect supernatural being. One without any limitations at all. But he didn’t want keep using people from our world to do it because it would raise too many questions. So he was opening worlds and pulling out test subjects. But always werewolves.”

“That’s insane!” Steve cried. “You have to see how insane that is, right?”

Chrissy nodded. “When the cat sìth arrived at the Creel House to tell us of our Dominus’s death, I started looking into the previous Dominus’s experiments thinking it had answers to what was going on in this town. I was right and disgusted.”

Nancy nodded. “They,” she jutted her chin at Alexei and Murray, “are the ones that survived because at the same time they were brought over, Dr. Brenner was being investigated by VHS and had to stop temporarily, so they slipped into the wide world accidentally. This world’s Dr. Oborin killed those kids because they were teasing this world’s Mr. Bauman’s baldness. But when they saw the two that looked exactly them, they hatched a plan to use them as scapegoats and are currently on the run in Mexico.”

“Who told you all this?” Jonathan asked, speaking for the first time.

“I did,” and final person emerged from the tree line.

“Sam...” Wayne said warningly. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“That’s actually a funny story,” Sam said sheepishly. “So apparently our investigations did overlap?”

“Sam...”

“Right,” Sam said with a grimace. “Do you mind if I take over the story from here?” he asked Nancy.

She waved her hand at him. “Go ahead. I’m interested to hear what more you may have gleaned.”

“So my original investigation was whether or not there was a descendant of the original Karl Van Helsing from the female line was in the Harrington pack,” he said with a wince.

Steve frowned. “What does ‘female line’ mean?”

“There is the male line,” Sam explained, “where you keep the last name. Harrington for example. You are a descendant of the original pack leader, Clarence Harrington. That is the male line. The female line is when, let’s continue using Harrington as an example, say Clarence had two sons and a daughter. The daughter marries and has children. Those children are still related to Clarence but their last name has changed.”

“You think Greta had children?” Wayne asked incredulously. “Because like hell she did.”

Sam shook his head. “No, not Greta. Her aunt Vanessa, who married Peter Kincade.”

Dread pooled in Wayne’s stomach. He knew that name because he had been trying to find out why Murray would murder a non-werewolf. Not that he knew it was Murray at the time. Peter Kincade was Allison Harrington’s great, great, great, great, great however many it was grandfather.

“When Benjamin Kincade was murdered and subsequently his daughter and husband,” Sam continued, “the blood was sent to our lab by an anonymous source, a source we now believe to Dr. Alexei Oborin.”

The assembled turned to the doctor who was now cradling his mate to his chest. He stroked Murray’s head. “I didn’t like all the murder. I found a neater way to get Harrington out of the pack. Show the VHS that he was their missing link and he’d be whisked away and have experiments done on him so they can strengthen their ranks. Then you’d be alpha, my love.”

Murray whimpered.

“I’m sorry,” Alexei whispered back. “They didn’t move fast enough.”

“So that’s how it intersects,” Eddie said. “If Murray hadn’t killed the Harringtons and Mr. Kincade, you’d never had been in town looking for Steve.”

“It would have been easier,” Sam agreed, “but there is some really power magic on Steve that prevents VHS agents from being able to detect him. And it is absolutely due to his Van Helsing blood. They were purported to have all sorts of abilities and immunities that made them perfect watchmen of the supernatural communities. The blood magic used to create the spells that will protect an agent makes it impossible to mate with supernatural creatures.” Wayne bristled, but Sam held up his hand. “Note I said mate, not couple. It’s the act of producing a child that is disastrous.”

“Why’s that?” Barb asked from the dock, still the only part of her that was human was her head. “Supernatural creatures mate with humans all the time. I mean some times it can have some pretty strange results, but no one would call them disastrous.”

“It’s the anti-magic of the spells used and the innate magic of the supernatural being mixing and slowly driving the poor child insane,” Sam said, looking side-long at Steve. “We actually had long suspected Steve might have some connection to the Helsings because–”

“Because he should have gone crazy twice!” Eddie said with a gasp. “The first time was when he changed for the first time at age eighteen. The Franklins were banking on him going off the rails so they could paint him some rabid beast that needed to be put down. But he was lucid.”

“And then again when the Hunters tried to kill him,” Nancy finished. “He should have gone mad from the amount of silver he had on him. Even for that short a time. Being alpha would have only protected him so much.”

Steve pointed to himself in shock. “What? Me? There’s no way, there has to be another explanation.”

Wayne shook his head. “Nope. You’re the descendant of two very powerful lines, Steve.”

“Back to the problem of Murray and Alexei,” Brian said, raising his hand. “Because Steve is cool and all, but all this new information doesn’t really change that. It just confirms what smart people have known for years.”

Steve blushed.

“They can’t be in this world anymore,” Sam said, sadly. “Their very presence is what’s causing the sharp increase in supernatural suspicion in the normal populous. The whole being just out of step is sending out shock waves across the world that they’re dangerous.”

“I understand,” Alexei said, “I always knew there was no place for us anywhere.” He leaned over to kiss Murray.

“Maybe we can–” Nancy began when two gunshots went off in quick succession.

Then Alexei slumped over Murray’s body. There was no doubt what had happened. Alexei must have picked up the gun when Chrissy landed. Then he shot Murray, finishing the job that Robin had started then turned the gun on himself.

BA-DUM! BA! DUM!

“Oh,” Robin said softly. “Now that they’re dead you can actually feel the difference.”

Nancy let out a frustrated whine and stomped her foot. “I was going to suggest finding a way to send them home. Not for them to die.”

Sam came over and put his hand on her shoulder. “This is was the best. Even though they were innocent of the original crime of killing the kids, Dr. Alexei Oborin killed the Hunters in his own universe and then all the deaths on Murray Bauman’s hands are far too many. To merely send them back would be a grave miscarriage of justice.”

Her lip quivered, but she nodded. It galled her. If they hadn’t been pulled here by Dr. Brenner than they would be lauded as heroes in their home world, only to be branded villains in this one. But they had caused so much harm.

Sam turned to Steve. “So about that linage...you are wasted here as a mere alpha. You could head the entire Van Helsing Society. You would be incandescent there.”

Steve shook his head. “No. This is where I want to be.”

Eddie let out a little whine of relief and even the golden wolf that was Robin looked relieved.

“I am making Robin Buckley my female alpha,” he continued. Nancy let out a breath of relief of her own. “I’m changing the name of the pack to the Roane County pack. No more Harrington crap. I am the last and it will end with me. Same goes with the Van Helsing line.”

Sam’s eyes nearly burst out of his head with that. “You can’t mean that, surely!”

Steve shook his head. “I can. I will donate a single vial of my blood to the Society and allow you to test the limits of my abilities for one week a year, but the rest of the time I will be here. Taking care of the people who matter most to me. On one condition.”

Sam’s hands were clenched in rage. “You dare to make even more demands?!”

“Yes,” Steve said coolly. “The Society will come out of the shadows. You lot being a secret society is precisely why there is rise in Hunters. If people knew there was an actual policing body that would bring rogue cryptids to heel, they would be less likely to want to take matters into their own hands.”

Wayne and Sam shared a look of shock between them.

“Oh.” Sam gulped heavily. “Deal.”

Steve shook his hand, then he turned to Chrissy. “I’m assuming you’re the new Dominus.”

Chrissy blinked. “Oh shit. I guess I am.”

“Good,” he said primly. “We’ll meet later in the week to find you a new home and to lay out a new treaty between the Coven and Pack.”

She nodded gravely. “It will be done, Alpha.” She turned to Jeff. “Come, we need to find places for our Coven in the mean time.”

Jeff nodded and they both transformed and flew off into the air.

“Robin,” Steve said, turning to his new alpha female. “Take the rest of the pack back to the compound and explain everything that has gone on. Let them know I will be back shortly to reassure them. I will mete out Tommy’s punishment when I get there.”

The golden wolf nodded solemnly. Nancy and Hopper changed back into wolves. Tommy climbed back on Hopper’s back and then looked behind him at Steve. He had misjudged everything and no he must pay the price. Then they followed her back to the compound, Jonathan bringing up the rear.

Steve walked up to Barb and Brian. “The Roane County Pack owes the sirens and selkies a debt of gratitude. Name it and if it’s in the power of this alpha it will be yours.”

Brian and Barb looked at each other and then they both shook their heads.

“You continuing to advocate for us will be a far great boon then any other thing you could do for us, alpha,” Barb said sternly.

Steve nodded.

Brian reach out and took Barb’s flipper in his hand. “Plus, there’s this, too.”

Gareth and Eddie let out wolf whistles.

Brian blushed, but Barb smiled softly.

“Yes, this is a good reward as well,” she murmured. She removed her hand from her skin and took his hand.

Brian smiled up at her. They both transformed again. She slipped under the water as Brian flew over it, humming to himself.

Steve turned back to the remaining four. He walked up to Gareth.

“What is it the gwyllgi want?” Steve asked, getting down on one knee so he could look the large black dog in the eye. No preamble. Just straight to the point. He knew the Graveyard dogs had a lot of grievances against his pack and he was going to change that starting now.

“Agree to meet with my father to work out restitution for our pack,” Gareth said seriously.

“Done,” Steve said, bowing his head. “I will make sure Robin contacts him for a meeting.”

Gareth shuffled forward and hugged Steve with his neck. “You’re a good alpha and a better man.”

Steve pinched his nose and then rubbed the end. “Thank you, Gareth.”

Gareth loped over to Eddie. “You take good care of him, won’t you? He tends to get caught up in his head sometimes.”

Eddie nodded, giving a watery chuckle. “Just whose friend are you, mine or his?”

Gareth tilted his head to the side.

“Both.”

The dog turned and vanished into the tree line.

Wayne turned to Steve. “I’m thinking of retiring from this whole supernatural guardianship. I’m going to let Eddie take over. I’m getting too old for this shit.”

Sam let out a sound that was combination between a whine and clearing his throat. “If I–I mean, if I haven’t completely ruined things between us. I–”

“Just spit it out, Sam,” Wayne growled.

“This was my last investigation for the Society,” Sam said, looking down at his feet. “I told them after our last meeting. I hate lying to you. It kills me every time. So I want to spend my time with you. If you’ll have me.”

Wayne huffed and then grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him in close. “You’ve got a lot grovelling to do. And I have a long list of ways you can start making it up to me.”

Sam eyes went wide at the low sultry tone. “Oh. I am very willing.”

Wayne transformed and flew off with his arm securely around his waist.

“Gross,” Eddie sniffed.

Steve pulled him into his embrace. “I too have a list of things, but mine is more about the lovely things I want you to do me.”

“Ooh, I do like the sound of that, big boy,” Eddie said with a feral grin. “And I’m pretty sure my uncle won’t be at the trailer for awhile.”

“I like the way you think,” Steve pulled him in for a long kiss. “I’ll meet you there. I just have make sure Robin hasn’t set the compound on fire and then I’ll be right there.”

“Are you sure you want her as your alpha?” Eddie asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine once she gets over her nerves,” he said with a smile. “Plus no one will be asking if we are going to mate. Having a lesbian best friend really does have its perks. You don't have to come with.”

Eddie through his head back and laughed. “Nah, I’ll come with. I want to see their faces.”

Steve smiled and took Eddie’s hand.

They walked past Lucas, who was on guard duty, hand in hand, a werewolf and a vampire. Both once outcasts even in their own communities, now leaders in their own right.

Steve smiled.

The future never looked brighter.

~

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