#yapping about asher

[the-wiggler]

everyone talking about the wedding next month are we not gonna talk about the fact asher and baabe SNUCK into david and angels pool and, when caught, GASLIGHTED them into thinking they had been invited ????

[indigo-greer-collins]

so i know the misogynistic milo thing is generally a joke (i hope), but i was thinking about it and like honestly i think he’d be the type to remind the others of their own internalised misogyny within the pack.

i’m taking this from the perspective of when they’re like teenagers/high schoolers mind you, i think presently they’ve all grown to be very well adjusted and the patriarchy doesn’t like have them by the balls.

i’ll elaborate under the cut!

there was no way under marie’s roof that milo would be caught dead treating a woman like shit, he learned from his father that doing so wouldn’t slide.

we also know that milo’s generally a pretty blunt, “feisty” guy, and that’s not really changed — so he probably called out misogynistic BS as he saw and heard it(and still does).

we also know that teenage boys have a tendency to spout misogyny when around each other (even if they don’t fully believe it, to fit in). and yk it’s kinda taught for them to think that way.

also factoring in that they grew up in the 90s/early 2000s which was better than most years, but people still got away with being pretty bigoted/saying fucked up shit.

i don’t think asher and david were overtly misogynistic. like they weren’t on any “all bitches are the same”, type shit (maybe cuz they’re fruity), but there might have been hints of it without them realising because the two haven’t necessarily been taught to unlearn things that the patriarchy teaches.

so we got a teen!milo holding his friends accountable!!

this is also why i kinda love imagining fem!darlin. i love every gender interpretation of darlin don’t get me wrong, but having a female friend around to also help them remember to reject red pill ideologies is very chefs kiss

[vind3miat0r]

David is left-handed. send tweet

[mayowayo]

aroace todoroki *I am instantly booed off the stage*

[grilledcheezy92]

Brain too buzzy, can't figure out what to write on (work is slow)

[ashertickler]

(*^o^)／○o。.•° hellooosss!!! °•.。o○＼(^-^*)

welcome to my Redacted Audio sideblog!

i'm plum (no that's not my real name, it's a nickname someone gave me as a joke that stuck) and i hope to be the cerified silly™️ blog that makes you giggle

👋😸🎀✨️

just like my bestie Porter (smacks him), i'm british.

desi (MY FELLOW DESI RA FANS RISE UP 🕺)

i've been in the Redacted fandom since 2022, but only started this side blog recently to yap about it 🗣

(pspspsp: if i'm in your asks, 🍑 is the personal tag I have that's the closest to a plum to say that yes it would be i, the tickler of asher goofy ass talbot, in your askboxes😈

but for those curious: if you see an account with a brett hand pfp interacting with your posts... that's my main account 🙈)

My faves:

Asher (unsurprisingly.)

Milo (pretty and sassy what more could i want)

Aaron (can he return from war please 🙏)

Lasko (🌝)

Tags list:

#plum posts - just a normal(ish) post nothing goofy

#plum rambles - spontaneous brain shart post (is it a headcannon? is it a shitpost? is it pure silly? or even braindead? tbh it's a pot luck of what you'll get)

#plum goes insane - uhhhhhhhhhhh... feral. insane. unhinged. losing the plot. (mild nsfw warning/ suggested nsfw)

#plum yaps - asks! chatterboxes, yappers, silly stuff

#my wife - Asher. asher post making me 😍🥰💖

#normal/ and tags that mention "normal" - very much not normal, my inner freak is trying to break free I fear. (mild nsfw warning/ suggested nsfw)

dni/ things i don't tolerate:

homophobia, transphobia, racism, terfs, isreal supporters, caelum sexualisation, proshippers

under 16s dni‼️

ﾟ+.•☆•.+ﾟ oki ty have a great day

(blinkie banner by @/milogreer)

[imslowlydisintegrating]

me when i see an aro post and then theres just an allo couple in the reblogs talking about how gay they are for eachother.

who in their right mind

[daveys-angel01]

i just saw a tiktok with that one sound where the kid is crying bc he doesn’t want to marry his friend(?) n she’s like “I WILL MARRY YOU” except it was david and asher as little kids and i think that is so canon

[euphorial-docx]

leila and spencer are messy as hell the fuck

[mywilltoliveisdecreasing]

???

My running theory for the wedding is that Asher will have a heart attack and die on the day of the wedding. None of the vampires will be there yet so he permanently dies and his playlist is marked as complete. The fandom begins to theorise that Quinn will ambush the funeral.

[sharkenedfangs]

What do I need to do to get a fic of sub crossdressing male pc begging Bailey to be their first time ( first everything really)? I don't even care about wether PC gets railed like we wish, I honestly highkey just want your take on it.

— ☆ “SIMMERING BENEATH.”

— sucks when your annoyingly bratty, yet pretty bastard of an opthan manages to get past your tight-held clutches, doesn’t it? mister bailey. 1.8k wc

— “the fuck do you want, asher?” : wrote this on the way back home, so on the sort of.. subway thingies, it’s not called that where I am, but they do resemble that and felt fucking nauseous, so apologies in advance if it’s shit. was too good to fully pass up on this one, though couldn’t turn it into a full-on lengthy one due to being busy with other current things. still tried to input every aspect you’ve asked for. yeah, may it be up to your standards then, anon.

Fucking fuck.

No, hell— that wouldn’t truthfully encapsulate the sheer idiocy of his muddled actions even then, because god— fucking shit, why would a man of the likes of Bailey — relatively known, if not factually remembered as the cold, logical one in town — stupidly fall for some mere trickery, childish ploy fabricated by your own stubborn whims? Or, to be quite precise, those pathetic taunts of yours that any man possessing the slightest nerve of a goddamn functional brain, wouldn’t have dumbly caved in to.

Talking about the depraved perverts that’d foolishly slip between the evidently, way too small cracks unfitting for their same, way too fucking large bodies — of the barely opened windows the dumb orphans would forgetfully leave behind. Shakily pawing with sweat slicked hands at some brat’s snoozing body before they’d eventually be chased off by the mere sight of his approaching figure inevitably barging in, hastily mutter on about their prestigious status and so on— fuck, never really truly listened to the shoddy bastards. How Bailey was no man to rudely kick ‘em out of the own crappy establishment he was sloppily running with a twinge of cruelty ever present in his cold gaze.

Yeah, he’s no damn better than those perverted fuckers right about now— possibly worse, but shit, no way in fucking hell will he potentially admit to that despite the cooling air annoyingly caressing his bare skin, sticky sweat clinging onto his flushed flesh nor the disheveled mess of his habitually, slicked back hair partially obscuring his hazy vision of this.. well, fuck— say it or not, admittedly, fucking hot sight shamelessly greeting him in return. Loosened, pristine white dress shirt untucked in face of this, to give forth to a discreet glimpse of one of the numerous tattoos snaked along the surface of his toned figure.

Slightest pout of your rosy, puckered lips he’d unconsciously find himself eyeing for far too long when thoroughly denied for the day by your daily, insistent questioning. Pop your cherry, you had confidently said with a noticeably excited shake of your fists. Might as well endlessly yap his ear off with that unrealistic request of yours— a pitiful plea that somehow, without fully realizing as to how and why — is currently happening within the otherwise narrow confines of his private office. Solely dedicated to calmly concentrate on each and every one of his gruelling tasks. Namely, neatly sorting out the thin sheets of paper openly displaying pertinent information to the numerous orphans residing here, registering the missing few that’d either go in running like some mindless moron or be plainly sold off to a godforsaken hell he held no genuine interest in— Fuck, fuck. You get the gist by now, there.

A well-deserved punishment is what this all is, simply was for that matter, and hah— you seem to be willingly taking it, although, can’t truly say he’s all that suprised. Brat. It’s what you are. Stupidly nosy brat who couldn’t hope to obediently keep his supple hands to himself for the shitty life of him. One that’d so ironically, perfectly fit all too well underneath the weight of his calloused palms restricting your bashful squirming— now contentedly facing the eventual consequences of your impulsive actions with a gleeful smile tracing your curved lips. Rhythmic squeaking of the wooden, chipped desk the man had sworn to fucking god, promised to dearly replace whenever was soonest possible and, well, he’s received his all-time excuse to be snidely given to those thugs.

A cum coated piece of furniture is just about a good reason to be neatly reinstalled with something sharper, newer— something along the lines of that, the bigger the better, probably.

Speaking of big.. Shit, he’s undeniably fucked.

“Don’t you fucking look at me like that, you ungrateful little bastard. I’m putting a roof over your head and a place to stay so— fuck, the least you can do is fucking pay me back on time, but can’t even do that, can you?” Habitually stern is what he’s evidently known best for amongst the nosy orphans, yet that usual bite in his gruff voice is almost.. pitifully lacking in face of whatever the fuck this is— yeah, actually he’s got a clue what it is. Inwardly cursing at how his hips automatically snap back in one sharp motion to then, merely slap forward— flush against your reddened ass. Riddled, fresh marks traced along the entirety of your curved back nor your spread asscheeks for that matter, shouldn’t be looking so infuriatingly pretty after all that harsh spanking he’s had you withstand. Take it as the start of your relatively tame punishment coming from a stone cold man like him, that’s what.

“Like what? A satisfied client? Hah— this is the best day of my life, y’know. Feels so fuckin’ good, Bailey— please don’t stop..” Of-fucking-‘course you’ve already had whatever comment prepared to hurriedly retort back within your noisy mouth, despite being so crudely bent over a flat surface like this. Particularly whiny moan drawn out at the feel of his thick cock satisfyingly stretching you full, sinfully defiling you from virginity itself. Pervertedly spread open with your dizzyingly warm, honeyed— fuck, did he really just think of your hole like that?? Must be losing his goddamn mind. Correct, your fucking hole is the one irreversibly altering his unwavering principles. So fuck you, really.

Sloppy, squelchy noises, all too annoyingly addictive to hear, of your tight, puckered heat fervently sucking his fat cock in, coating it all sticky and wet with your slippery, pink insides. Instinctively hissing at the knee-buckling sight of his veiny length repeatedly remerging and disappearing deep inside because shit— can’t get enough of it. So much so his rough thumbs are subconsciously spreading that tender flesh wide open for his unrelenting, stern gaze to gawk at. Not to mention, those frilly lines adorning that stupidly short skirt, bouncing in tandem with each ruthless thrusts slapped to your backside. Admittedly adorable, cute cock clumsily bobbing from the ruthlessly loud smacks of the caretaker’s fat balls sloppily slapping upon the flush of your ass, teasing— no, irrefutably taunting him by the subtle glimpse of your dribbling, wet dick peeking from beneath that skirt.

Like to play dress up, don’t you? Sneakily slip in those overly feminine, lacy garments the elder man would’ve notably poked fun at the sissies that unabashedly wore such clothings back in his day— ironically enough, now he’s finding himself, balls deep into said ‘sissy’. Meanly tugging at the silken material snugly encircling your flailing legs, neatly tied bows bound to predictably come undone given the unrelenting bounces of your shared figures. Unable to keep still when you’re being fucked or something?

Little, incompetent brat. Constantly managing to crawl underneath his skin, reach the deepest parts within him the caretaker has progressively learned to conceal beneath this ruthlessly heartless facade. Not that Bailey’s the nicest man to begin with, but hell— favouring a good for nothing, admittedly appealing to the eyes— meddling boy like you wasn’t on his fucking wish list either.

Should be crudely wiping off that joyous grin etched upon your features if you actually know what’s good for you. Though, doubt you will.

Fine. He’s not necessarily against doing the honours for you. Frustratingly fuck out the undeniable audacity ever so present in your every movements when carelessly distracting him during work hours— time meant to be initially spent for focusing and godfuckingdammit, merely thinking back on it has him obscenely gritting his teeth, further tightening his unrelenting grip planted along your — sure to be bruised later, which you’re naturally paying the price of it — hips. Heaving groans mixed along with some curses which are presumably directed at you, if not at himself, that he’s uncertain of, really. All he’s stupidly conscious of is the undeniable fact that you might’ve coincidentally, if not intentionally, gotten him dizzyingly drunk off your previously undefiled hole.

Fuck, must be that then. Overly aware of what you’re currently doing to him, aren’t you?

‘S that it? Your admittedly, badly thought out plan simmering deep within your mind, happily tugging at his heartstrings in hopes of getting your mean caretaker to fuck your virgin holes full of cum? Well, all to say— you’ve graciously received what your bratty, stupidly pretty ass has fervently been desiring for all along, huh? Ain’t that right? So in return, it’s only fair that he greedily takes whatever he so pleases, whenever or wherever— that is of no importance then, whether it be comfortably settled atop his lap during office hours or slung along your knees to dutifully service him. “God, don’t you dare fucking move— just— just fucking stay like. Yeah, just like— hah, that.” Got no qualms whatever position that might be in, too caught up in the tender feel of your soft flesh underneath his punishing grasp to sluggishly catch on what’s spilling forth from his swollen red, oozing tip because.. shit, got him cumming— not just plain ol’ cumming, but mortifyingly enough, squirting prematurely too. Effectively painting your stretched walls in a sticky, white mess of his seed, inwardly cursing at himself for potentially letting things stretch on further than they were initially meant to.

Yet as ironic as it may be, his unwavering pride naturally beckons him in turn or is it the petulant whine longingly drawled out from between your rosy lips at the sole thoughts of your time together being cut short? Right— ‘course, what else would it be that’d have you miserably whimper so? Didn’t cum yet, did you? Obediently took his fat load sickeningly dripping free from your sore, used up hole without any sort of complaint, gaze momentarily flicking downwards to the pearly droplets of his cum progressively trickling down the length of your suspended legs laid along the precarious edge of his oaky desk.

Similar to how an opportunist excitedly pounces on every chance set before him— hah, he’s never been much like Eden to cowardly hide amongst the oaky, wooden trees to begin with. Huddle within the shadowy forest in a futile hope that mere distance might erase the muddled past; the foggy, far-away town altogether from their collectively minds.

Rather take part in the animalistic feast even if it would’ve eventually spelled utter ruin for himself, inevitable defeat one cannot simply crawl out of sheer will. And maybe, that said ruin, is delicately staring at him right in the face with a fucked out look stretch upon your features, pupils blown wide with a hint of saliva gracing the corner of your pouty lips that he— fuck, can’t help it, really— have his calloused thumb stroke at, soon swiftly followed by the immediate puckering of your overly attentive mouth suckling along the digit. Incidentally coating it in a slippery wet layer of your spit that you, of course, joyfully take advantage of by stifling a wanton moan right ‘round it.

Shit, going to be the goddamn death of him.

That eventually faith patiently awaiting for him, doesn’t sound so bad when your cum stained, little needy self is notably factored in that messy equation after all.

[qhoaaaa]

SO *claps hands* MILO GREER HUH 💛

I feel like if Erik ever does a flashback of Milo/Sweetheart becoming mates

I just

KENDOWHWOEDN

Think that Milo would be so fucking nervous

"Yeah, I just....see you... as my mate... yeap! And I know we've talked about this before and I just... wanted to say that... uhm... no, wanted to ask if... you'd wanna be my... mate?"

(Insert more lovey dovey shit he is yapping abt how amazing Sweetheart is and has been to him and how they have affected his life)

100% Asher would be more awkward but Milo's nerves are fucking SHOT because he's like holy shiiiiiitt I'm gonna fuckign do this aren't I yes I am

Trying to see if Milo would ask/say it in his apartment or the place where they hunted the Shade down together

Bc he's sentimental

Fucker (I love him)

"My ma is gonna be so fuckin happy"

He's crying your honor

Love a man whose in touch with his emotions

When Sweetheart says yes he's like,

"No shit... WAIT what did you say... yea, that's what I thought... (he's like how the fuck did i get to this point)... w-well what do I do now? I DONT KNOW IVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE"

Ahem (NSFW 18+ AFTER CUT)

Tagging! @annahxredaxted @moronkyne

He mounts them.

This is shameless smut you've been warned. 😈

They fuck first in the woods (if he asked in the woods) , then later at his apartment bc we all know these two can't keep their hands off each other...

Hands gripping their hips, it just comes natural to him, especially after they said yes to being his mate.

Let's out the most feral and gutteral moan when he presses inside them

And erm,,, 🥺

Bites.

Tons of biting, claims he wants to have his scent all over them and loves to see his teeth prints on their sweet neck and shoulders

If Sweetheart is on their belly, he bites at their nape, as if trying to keep them still (RHSIDBDJEJE PLEASE PELASEE EPWLSLSLEELEJR)

"My mate... my fucking mate! Mmhh, gonna... gonna fuck you nice and deep... just how my mate likes it..."

He legit won't stop touching them, his hands sliding over their sides, nails lightly pressing into them, he presses his cheek to their neck to smell them, to smell their pleasure, to hear their gasps and moans: he's worshipping them

Milo kinda likes to manhandle them, so there's times where he grips their hips up off the bed/surface and it makes them shiver, he flips them over onto their back to touch their chest and belly, and scoots closer between their legs to fuck them senseless

He does that thing where he moves Sweetheart's legs straight up and holds them and fucks between their thighs before slipping into their hole, he also spanks their thighs while he fucks them a bit

Kinda like honeymoon sex except they're not married, they're mates

And the whole time, he's just rambling on thanking them for being in his life, for being his mate, and being super cute and sappy while he's about to cum inside them

HE LAUGHS DURING SEX, BE STILL MY HEART

They fell asleep with his cock still inside them and in the morning when they're both up, Milo gently fucks into them again, holding them tight to his chest and he has the honor to see them cum on him AND to cum in them again

If they're feeling it, Sweetheart asks Milo for the good old 69 and Milo's like....

"I fucking love youuu"

Milo's on the bottom (they actually push him on the bed and are like "you better fucking stay down and let me please you" and hes like "ooh... hell yeah Sweetheart" (heart eyess)) , Sweetheart is on top and they're fucking deep throating his cock so well he tells them to go slower or else he'll cum too quickly and they're like, ok and?? , he just laughs and then they just plant themselves on his face

Then Milo's got his hands wrapped around their thighs and is NOT letting them go, occasionally he'll have his hand caress up their spine to see them squirm and he'll wrap his hand in their hair, pulling back gently, to see them arch

Even like this he can't resist to spank and grab at their ass, especially if they're fucking SITTING ON HIM (insert that one meme of Doja Cat about big noses)

When they finally cum, Milo kinda shakes his face against them to get every last drop, his tongue swirling everywhere. This man needs their cum.

And Sweetheart makes him cum when they take his cock as far as it'll go and stay there until that cock is done pumping in their mouth.

They are both cum slutsI MEAN WHATAATTEEJEJDIEJOJ

I'm done yapping goodnight

[meowtus]

Redactedverse Lesbians!Relationship HCs :3

Obviously, pronouns will be changed to fit said headcanons. If you’re uncomfortable with she/her or they/them being used on speaker characters, please proceed with that in mind!! (Though I don’t think I used she/her all that much 😭)

• Sam & Darlin: Butch4Butch. Very obvious…I’ve been thinking about them a lot smh. Sam’s on the incredibly masc leaning lesbian side. Cmon…the flannel?? Lumberjack-lesbian-ass behavior. They both make me so ill. Darlin’s more of a leather-wearing Butch, but they switch outfits and share clothes every now and then.

• Milo & Sweetheart: Genderqueer Lesbians. Milo uses whatever pronouns, they don’t really have a preference, since they’re leaning whichever way whenever!! Sweetheart’s the same way, essentially. When they’re going out, they’re coordinating to the other. Either they’re both wearing dresses or suits no exceptions☝🏽☝🏽

• Gavin & Freelancer: Genderfluid! Gavin, Enby!Freelancer. Very obvious choice with Gavin, I think. They KILL it in a dress and they make it everyone’s problem. (/j) Gavin’s very fluid identity wise, and adhering to the binary is virtually out of the question. Fem! Gavin could easily put Freelancer into a coma. Freelancer’s more of the middle category, integrating masculine and feminine traits all the same.

• Vincent & Lovely: Tfem! Vincent, Femme! Lovely. Through meeting Lovely, Vincent’s explored so many different things relationship-wise, and expression wise!! They do eachother’s makeup for special events, and the two are giggling the entire way through :3 Lovely’s incredibly supportive throughout the transition and helped integrate fem-leaning clothing into her wardrobe

• Vega: THE lesbian. That’s the headcanon guys. /j Thank you user Vegafan69 for opening my eyes to lesbian Vega—that’s what inspired the lesbian headcanons in the first place 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

• Asher & Baaabe: Golden Retriever Lesbian! Asher, Black Cat Lesbian! Baaabe. THEY. THEY. THEY. Asher’s the golden retriever masc of all time, actually. Don’t have much of a backing to this one, but I feel like this dynamic’s also applicable to Lesbian! Guy & Honey

• Blake & Bestie: Highschool Situationship. Lesbian canon event I fear…they definitely were thinking about eachother after they distanced. The first lesbian relationship is always the messiest 😭

• Porter & Treasure: Classic Masc & Femme dynamic. I just think it’s fitting for the two!! BUT in this relationship consider Femme! Porter and Masc! Treasure. ESPECIALLY after that argument from the most recent video…something girlkisser was in the air. Also think Femme! Porter struggles/used to struggle with comphet sometimes and it leaks out conversationally from time to time 💔

That’s all I’ve got for now!! If you have any fem! Speaker HCs yap about them NOWW I need them so bad guys smh

Taglist: @vegafan69 @escapisttt

[ashertickler]

LUCID PLEASE WHY 😭😭😭😭😭

I don't know shit about that hawk tuah thing but the SOUND of saying "hawk tuah" is something Asher and Guy would do.

[mayowayo]

tomorrow is 70 days without bina btw

[azzyangelfish]

Redacted Characters As Things My Coworkers Have Said:

(For context I’ve been coaching competitive swimming for a month)

David: What do you think you did wrong? The colour of your suit does not determine your time.

Sam: Wait how old do you guys think I am? 56- *takes a deep breath* moving on!

Alexis: God I hate kids- Oh hey that was an awesome race kiddo!

Asher: Listen, we can debate all we want about what the best character in Mario Kart is. But, if someone can win Rainbow Road at 150cc we will play sharks in minnows instead of doing the main set next practice!

Angel: And remember! If a man ever tells you that you’re hysteric I give you full permission to punch him in the nose.

Milo: That is an objectively wrong opinion. I don’t care that opinions can’t be right or wrong- your opinion is wrong case closed, end of story, see you later alligator.

William: Back in my day we didn’t have technology to keep track of our sets and swimmers *yaps about the good old days*

Darlin: Ok listen up! Since I don’t want to be here, and yall don’t want to be here because it’s a warm Friday afternoon, let’s go ‘do dry land’ outside! *takes the group on a walk instead*

Bonus (things that coaches have said to me):

Quinn: All you guys do during practice is slack off and I’m sick and tired of- *his dentures fall out of his mouth and into the pool*

William: You there! With the Russian name!

Kody: I had to go through this as a swimmer so now I’m getting my revenge by making you guys do it too.

Huxley: Do you guys want to go and play capture the flag or would you rather do pushups- ok ok capture the flag it is!

Quinn: It’s a shame that they don’t let us do punishment sets anymore. I mean athletes these days have no discipline, your group had punishment sets and you guys turned out fine!