#yaoi used sarcastically

[quibaited]

finding raileon fanart is like scrolling through a million drawings of them shirtless and then striking real gold when you find something that really emphasizes the rivalry yaoi slowburn

[linipikk]

I am gonna say this once before everyone revokes my VC, IWTV and Good Omens cards:

They really Neil-Gaimanied my loser journalist Daniel Molloy

[faru-itsok]

This is a little post regarding today spoilers and revelations.

Well it ended up not being so little but… little opinion

Please don't take it bad is just a wish?

Here we go

Guys im am well aware that is sad to lose a ship to family bond or forced partner. But you can still ship it, canon divergence is a thing! Even tho these franchise exploit a bit the Yaoi coupling to gain more fans, we all know from the get going who is going to end up with whom in this series. Gosho had made it clear in a number of occasions what his intentions regarding the couples are, we can like it or not. But that it's no excuse to Hate on him, or in other fans, no body is holding you hostage to enjoy this series and to say that you were mislead is goinga bit too far? I mean we all knew.

I have my own experiences accepting that my ship is not and will never be canon 🥲 and ye is sad but that hasn't stoped me from keep liking the ship or the series, also i kept writing and creating for them because as long as we like it is fine.

This new revelation is not a ban on the art or the fics or Doujinshis, is just a fact that you can maneuver around 🤷🏻‍♀️

The point of all this is please don't start spreading hate, we are all here because we love DCMK maybe different ships yes, maybe a bit tired of the different levels of bullshit 😅 but all DCMK fans at the end.

I have seen a couple of comments about hating Gosho and the franchise for taking advantage of them, but, in my opinion, even tho he gave a lot of candy to some Yaoi ships, he was never private in saying what the canon ships were.

Now I'm not saying “i don't be sad! Don’t be mad” you can! as i said in a previous post, it was a low blow! But to go from there to spread hate is a bit much.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that no one here take this as an attack, I'm just trying to express my wish to not have conflicts here. I know X is completely different from this place, but i have seen there the hate soil the beautiful community of DCMK fans and i’d be really sad to watch something like that happen here too.

I want you all to know that i love all your art and it’d be a real boomer see a great part of it lost due a silly little thing like new Canon (it's not a sarcastic comment btw, we as fans should be used to do what we feel is right in our own creations fics/comics/art, and i insist canon divergence Is a thing! You can keep on and ignore canon)

Well that's it. I'm sorry for the long rant but I really enjoy it here and I was a bit worried

Lots of love for everyone!

And to the Kaishin shippers that were affected, a big hug and keep going guys! Lots of strength for this difficult times

[coolbeesbro]

Sinners and Fallen Saints Update!

I was originally planning to have chapter 6 uploaded by last night, but it ended up being much longer than I expected (almost at 5000 words right now) and I'm only about 1/2-2/3 of the way through! I'm hoping to have it done and posted some time this week though! Until then, here's a small excerpt!

Chapter Title: Old Man Yaoi? Niffty No.

Consciousness came to Lucifer slowly; curled up in a space that wasn’t his large and luxurious bed, head resting at an uncomfortable angle on something stiff and solid. Slowley, he blinked his eyes open and let out a large, sleepy yawn. 

This wasn’t his room, and this wasn’t a bed he was sleeping on. The King of Hell let out a miserable groan as he shifted in the armchair he didn’t remember falling asleep in; his fingers gripping a plush red throw blanket as he pulled it further around himself and curled up tighter, face now buried against the back of the chair. It didn’t matter that this was the most uncomfortable place he’d probably ever slept in, he just wanted 5 more minutes. 

Somewhere through the few hours he’d been asleep in Alastor’s strange sitting room, he’d managed to get tangled in his robe; which in turn bunched up his pajama shirt around his chest and armpits. Between the 3 layers of fabric, his body was warm and uncomfortably clammy. Every part of this situation was not ideal; leaving Lucifer to wonder what he was doing with his life. 

Bits and pieces of his conversation with Alastor last night were coming to him; and muddled with the delirium of exhaustion and the vague memory of the dream he had, he was questioning what was and wasn’t said.

Did Alastor tell him he was a vegetarian, and wanted to open up Hell’s first ever fully vegetarian Cat Cafe? There was this cookbook he pulled out of who knows where, full of vegetarian based recipes passed down from his grandfather to his father, then to him? A family tradition full of veggie frittatas and cranberry walnut pancakes?

Wait no, Alastor hated his dad, so the Cat Cafe was definitely a dream. Which was a bit of a relief because Lucifer didn’t want to debate the ethics of feeding cats a vegetarian diet. 

Oh and also Alastor ate people, so that might have been his first que to the authenticity of the idea. Definitely nothing vegetarian about that. 

Lucifer had to consciously stop himself from snickering at the thought that Alastor would be anything but a psychopath. The guy had a hotel resident fully bound to a chair last night for an interrogation. Even going so far as to play light jazz music for some sort of serial killer ambiance. But then again,  Lucifer was also a participant of the incident, so what did that make him?

Damn.

The King of Hell cracked his eyes open once more, training them on the red cretonne upholstery his face was pressed up against. He used the knuckle of his pointer finger to trace over the dips and loops of the gold flowery pattern, the smooth embroidered design feeling ever so slightly different from the rest of the thick fabric. Doing anything and everything but getting up and going to his own room to get ready for the day. 

His ears picked up the sound of a door opening from up above, followed by heeled shoes coming down steps, making Lucifer still his movements. 

“Ok you’ve been out long enough.” Alastor chastised under his breath as he approached the chair the King of Hell was curled up on. The lights in the room flipped on, assaulting his tired eyes with bright warm orange light, “Come on, up up up.” Alastor commanded, clapping his hands loudly.

“Nooo…” Lucifer’s voice was muffled against the back of the seat.

“No whining like a child.” Alastor’s said as the radio on the bookshelf next to him turned on, and Katie Killjoy’s sarcastic voice began to prattle through the crackly speakers:

“—gas station caught fire due to the negligence of a dickhead smoking at the pump. Local crackhead, Morison Morris, says he was there just getting a .98$ coffee at the time of the event.”

“I guess you could say his morning was off to an explosive start!”

“Shut the fuck up Tom—”

Irritably, Lucifer peered over the armrest at the radio and grumbled, “Please stop.” And the radio did just that. Thank you Alastor for the fun new power he held.

“Oh and I bet you think you’re rather cheeky.” Alastor said in a mock-congratulatory tone, “But really, it's 7:30am and Charlie expects us down at 8am sharp for the start of today's activities.”

Lucifer let out a long, tired sigh, “Just 5 more minutes.” He complained, not really registering the words coming out of Alastor’s mouth.

“As flattered as I am that you seem to be so dedicated to staying in my room, you need to get up and go to your own to get ready.”

“Fine fine, I’m up.” He grumbled miserably as he righted himself,  “When did I even fall asleep?” 

“Some time around 4:13am, I believe. Mid sentence you passed out, I was very impressed.” Alastor went on as he watched Lucifer close his eyes and slouch back in the chair, the King of Hell frowning deeply. Alastor walked over to chair Lucifer was still seated miserably in and took the plush red throw blanket off him in one fell swoop, all but pulling Lucifer off the chair and stumbling on his feet, “You now have less than 25 minutes to get to your room, get dressed and be down in the lounge before Charlie starts the day off without you.” He stated as he folded up the blanket and set it on the other seat.

It finally registered in his brain how little time he actually had, Lucifer frantically searched for his slippers— “They’re by the door, now shoo.” Alastor grabbed the shorter man by the shoulders and pushed him in the right direction.

Lucifer jammed his feet into the slippers before swinging open the door to make his leave; and as he dead-sprinted down the hall, he didn’t notice their resident housekeeper by Alastor’s door inspecting the fresh new claw marks carved into the carpet. Niffty, however, noticed him running and completely disheveled in his nightwhere. 

Her interest in the claw marks dragging back to Alastor’s door was now gone, and in its place grew gleeful speculation over what Lucifer was doing spending the night with Alastor. As her large red and yellow eye watched the King of Hell stumble over his slippers, almost face planting in the hallway before catching himself again and continuing his sprint, she let out a devious giggle before running back down the other way and crawling into an open air vent she’d scurried out of originally. Her quickest form of transportation.

[that-starry-freak]

What is your favourite TSAMS ships?

anon, you have opened the floodgates oh my god- I have so many favorites (im a HUGE multishipper)

This is ordered into favorite to least favorite of my favorites!!! Pretend that made sense

Moonchips: ... wew boy- the flavors bro- the flavors- moon x v4? He said he'd like to date someone sarcastic and a bit sadistic if he ever tried dating, Eclipse fits the bill fucking perfectly. Moon x solar? Holy shit they're stupid and gay and awkward and have neither done this before let them cook let them experiment they're both scientists they're perfect that this. Moon x v1? Toxic, oh my god so fucking toxic such an interesting concept im not even going to go into it thats too crazy for main (i keep all my toxic ships on my tsams side blog 😔). Moon also includes new moon/nexus! Meaning, v4 Eclipse x Nexus? Yup, a flavour of moonchips, and holy fuck do I love v4 Eclipse x Nexus bro- also, v1 x nexus? He could have treated him SO much better. Also also, v2 x moon? Bro, they had a partnership already- like- auwnjsnssdnd AND ASH (eaps moon) X V4?? bro how can I be normal about moonchips-

Nexus x Eclipse x Sol: ... if you know, you know *looks to Zee* we have an au with this ship and it goes crazy bro. again, another au/ship too toxic to relaly yap about on main. But basically Sol abused Nexus and Eclipse and once they leave him they're very dependent on each other. Its a really interesting dynamic and its fun to play around with the characters

LullabyNight: chat, chat hear me out- listen Moon would be able to understand him if he really tried. And they could be sciency together- and experiment because Nexus did say that one time he wasn't sure about his sexuality (which makes sense!! Him questioning his sexuality is actually a nice part of his character arc, since he's not Moon) and Moon said he'd be willing to experiment with someone who was like him?? Bro, they're perfect. Let them kiss

Lord Eclipse x His Bm: he keeps them as his pet- thats- that's about it

Eclipse x Nexus x Solar (lullabychips, Eclipse², and Solarnexus): obviously my main ship i talk about a lot. Im not asss obsessed over it as I used to be (that is Zees fault, they got me obsessed over other ships <3) but when I rant about characters I think out of all the poly couples, they're best suited for each other. From Eclipse and Solar's moon trauma, to Eclipse and Nexus both being copies of someone else, to Eclipse and Solar both being eclispes. They could all understand each other very well, as well as compliment each other. Plus, cmon, Eclipse has been borderline defending Nexus-

Rumini (ruin x Gemini): a crackship that happened on a thread about who Ruin is shipped with and people were making art for it and I started thinking about it and im obsessed wnsdnsnsd they'd be so great for each other but also terrible. Secretive old man yaoi <3

Obviously just because they're on this list doesn't me I ship ship it (and if it isn't on this list that doesn't mean I dont relaly like it, it just doesn't mean I'm not obsessing over it rn. I really like bloodysun too) The only ones I think would actually be cute and good together are Solar, V4, and Nexus. Or v4 and Ash. I just think toxic ships can be really interesting!! It complicates things in a way that feels more real

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 3

Propaganda:

Sheo/The Nailsmith:

It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending

The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]

They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”

Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.

THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri

Statler/Waldorf:

is there anything gayer than being a hater with another gay old man. Those two queers have done so much for the lgbt community

Waldorf has a wife, but it's literally just Statler in drag. In the wiki it says "Astoria often wonders why her husband keeps coming to this 'irritating, mindless, incessant nonsense' while he could stay home with her. The only answer from Waldorf was 'no comment.'" And I like to think it's because he gets to go on dates with his boyfriend. Every show they're always heckling the Muppets but end up sitting back in their balcony seat every show, meaning they must have to enjoy it enough to come back. They're, like the kids say, a little tsundere. -"The internet is a completely different culture isn't it." -"You said it. Everything here is immediately followed by sarcastic comments and nasty responses." -"Yup, we're finally where we belong." -"Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

They hate everything together

[neotrances]

also as an autistic person the whole “im autistic so i actually cant learn critical thinking” is sooooooo dumb and stupid and dumb and stupid. why r u being ableist towards urself like just cuz i cant understand sarcasm in conversation doesn’t mean i cant read some dialogue and consider if the character/narrator/author is being sarcastic based on the contexts

literally this like certain things i have to work harder to understand but if it’s a basic thing that i need to get then im gonna figure out how to understand it like??? and im gonna sound like a cunt here but in my experience it’s always “high functioning” autistics that say stuff like that like no sorry that is not an excuse when ur not like our brothers and sisters that need 24/7 care and guidance like u are posting essays about steven universe and ur new favorite yaoi ship and ur acting like u can’t do media analysis don’t piss me off, and i only ever see that “tehe i don’t get it oh well” under serious post about white ppl using xyz status as a shield to not be informed about basic things

[crescentpaws]

OK CAR RIDE QUESTIONS 4 U (you don’t have to answer all of them im just also bored rn)

do you like to listen to music/podcasts on a car journey?

if so any recs?

favourite gas station snack?

hmmm…. what do you think fintan would do on a road trip… he seems like a doritos guy 2 me…

GETTING OFF TOPIC. what’s the best fast food place/place for road trip lunch?

worst road trip Event that makes you wanna commit arson

(like him… IM GETTING OFF TOPIC !)

ok man i give up i canf think of anything else roadtrip related. do you have a favourite fintan line/moment?

do you think he qualifies as doomed by the narrative?

whats your ideal shannon-be-damned fintan endgame (purposely vague— death/redemption/yaoi/all at once/secret fifth thing whatever you desire)

whats the funniest theory you have for unravelled? personally ithink keefes gonna meet alvar at the pride parade

when you rotate fintan in your head is it like a smooth 3d animation or the pear wiggler or a washing machine or?

1. yes i am an avid music enjoyer

2. idk man i just listen to set it off

3. can’t go wrong with candy & potato chips

4. i dunno about snacks but. he would be the guy in the passenger seat that props his feet up on the dash…. but in an annoying & distracting way. if he had the back seat all to himself he would sprawl out dramatically. & if he was the one driving he would definitely do random swerves & sudden accelerations/breaks just to annoy other drivers/the other people in the car. he is an asshole.

also i think any elf on a road trip would be complaining “are we there yet” because they’re too used to light leaping and don’t know how to wait more than a few minutes to travel somewhere.

but fintan would definitely prefer car drives over plane flights…. specifically because he would find it agonizing to be that high up in the atmosphere (therefore closer to the sun & everblaze) without being able to use his ability. he would squeeze himself into the tiny plane bathroom and have a breakdown.

5. augh i don’t know….. i’m a picky eater so there’s not many places i’ll go tbh….

6. any bathroom inconveniences…. i will kill someone

8. fav fintan line has got to be “sorry i’m late. the security here is murder” bc he had no right to say that wtf 😭😭😭 actually worst person ever he sucks so much. other fav peace summit lines are “there’s no need to be offended. being superior isn’t all it’s cracked up to be” and “how predictable of you” because i love it when he is an arrogant sarcastic bitch.

top 3 fintan scenes are the peace summit, his memory break, and his healing i think (not in any particular order). but also i love his “surprise” when he reveals that he’s still alive in book 4 becahse WHY IS HE SUCH A SMUG LITTLE FUCKER. hate that bitch (i love him so much)

9. i think it depends on how you look at it. young baby councillor fintan is definitely doomed i think. but evil bitch neverseen fintan has deliberately chosen all his actions and therefore i think is more doomed by himself than the narrative if anything. obviously though the series hasn’t ended yet so. we’ll have to see.

10. ALL AT ONCE‼️💥💥 in all seriousness though i have conflicting opinions…. i wouldn’t like a redemption arc because i know all that would mean would be him helping out the main characters from within his prison…. and i am not content with him rotting in prison for all of eternity. but i KNOW if he breaks out the series will have to end with him dying… which i also don’t want…. but i’d be more ok with his death if it was actually intense and emotional and dramatic unlike literally all the other neverseen deaths so far……. i think bronte should kill him homoerotically i think that would be neat.

11. keefe gets rabies 🔥🔥 maybe he somehow gets a british accent also…. idk. also if i’m forced to read a whole keefe book he better mention fintan at least once… just for me…….. (i need him to recap his time in the neverseen pls that would actually make me excited to read the book)

12. low quality image of him spinning around like he’s on a spinny chair (but there is no chair & he is just floating)

[real-total-drama-takes]

I hear so much about Total Drama needing toxic yuri, but forget that–we need some toxic yaoi.

Give me Duncan x Harold, where Duncan has a steamy love affair with Harold behind Courtney’s back and still wedgies and punches Harold in public to not make things suspicious.

I raise you one “Alejandro x Owen”, where Owen continually tries to impress his one true love, but it’s never enough because he keeps calling him “Al”, so Alejandro just beats the crap out of Owen relentlessly and reminisces about his relationship with Izzy–who was equally physically aggressive but did it with a smile on her face, at least.

How about some Scike? In which Scott blackmails Mike into staying with him by lording his DID secret over his head, along with the fact that he secretly uses the exact same spray-tan as Anne Maria. And in turn, whenever Vito or Manitoba front, they aggressively flirt with a severely uncomfortable Scott in their respective New-Jersey and Australian accents.

Or maybe Dave x Leonard is more your style? Dave can emotionally abuse Leonard by continually discouraging, disparaging, demeaning, and diminishing Leonard’s LARPing and wizardry with sarcastic insults, and Leonard can physically abuse Dave by wacking him over the head with his wand whenever he does so? They both hate each other, but as the only two queer boys on that fake Cree island, they’re all the other has.

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

ttwt episode 9

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: we laughed, we ate, we danced, and some of us even lost in beautiful Quebec. Bonnie accepted their fate as the team’s emotional support dog, while both Max and Kelly grew more suspicious of a certain environmentalist. Julia went ham on Team Yaoi in hopes of getting Patrick eliminated, but fell short when the challenge turned out to be a reward one, saving him another seat aboard the S.S. Drama. Who will be electrocuted this time? Will Phillip ever be able to absorb the moon’s power? Stay tuned to find out right here, on Total Takes: World Tour!”

The galley is full but slow this morning, everyone trudging along to help themselves to another inedible meal before the plane’s descent. The metal hull itself creaks and groans, sending a chill up everyone's spine.

“I wonder what torture we have in store for us today,” Max comments sarcastically, pushing around the soggy toast on his tray. 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle, heh,” Phillip responds. “I’ve been working on my... abilities. Be warned...”

Staci’s head pokes out from around the corner. “Phillip, you left your drawings in the confessional again!” she holds up a few crude drawings of werewolves staring forlornly off into the distance. 

The entire cabin bursts into strained laughter and Phillip sulks. Max ignores him. Bonnie grumbles and faceplants into the table. 

---

First class is tense, but this time, it’s not the usual suspects. 

Ass and Courtney are rather… civil this morning, going about their daily tasks without a peep from either of them. Julia, on the other hand, is pacing the entire length of the cabin, grumbling and cursing to herself, only stopping to throw darts at a picture of Patrick’s face taped to one of the seats. 

Mal is smacking gum loudly, typing on her phone and ignoring the darts whizzing past her head. 

“Stupid, stupid…” Julia grumbles, tossing another projectile. It hits Mal in the thigh. She has no reaction as she scrolls. 

“We need to think ahead,” the blonde insists, slamming her fist to her hand. “Where’s our next challenge going to be?”

“An island. Tropical,” Mal says, not bothering to look up from her phone. “In about… sixteen minutes.”

Julia blinks, then looks out the window over the great expanse of ocean. She turns back with a perplexed expression while Ass raises an eyebrow from across the cabin. “What? How would you even know that?”

Courtney’s eyes widen. “Don’t-!”

“May I present to you-” Mal says, standing and rushing across the cabin. She pulls down a screen map of the world with numerous pins in it. “Mal’s 100% full-proof Total Drama Predictinator!”

Ass and Julia stare. Courtney smacks their forehead. 

“Every season, I create a highly complex AI program that predicts each location, challenge, and eliminations with startling accuracy,” Mal says, pacing between the ends of the map. She speaks matter-of-factly. “According to my findings, we’ll be on an island in the Atlantic ocean.”

The intercom crackles to life. “Wouldn’t be so sure about that, Einstein!” Chris says merrily. “We’ll be landing in Waterloo, Belgium, in-”

The plane suddenly lurches, sending all unbuckled passengers flying. A sputtering, mechanical screech forces everyone to cover their ears and look around at the metal beast nervously. 

“Uh, Chris, you might wanna take a look at this,” Chef says. The intercom then dies and the lights in the plane flicker out seconds before it begins plummeting. 

“Brace yourselves!” Courtney yells. “Assume your positions!”

“Um…” Julia shouts, looking between Ass and Mal as they stare nervously. “We didn’t actually read your guide!”

“WHAT! I spent all night writing- AHHHH!”

The plane plunges, growing closer and closer to the ocean. 

---

Economy has all but buckled in, ducking and covering their heads as luggage and rats fly around the cabin. A loud siren begins to blare, forcing everyone to plug their ears. 

“I can’t die here!” Bonnie yells, pleading with the universe. “Anywhere but here!”

Phillip screams in terror, his high-pitched shrieks out matching the siren in volume. Staci grits their teeth and Kelly, Max, and Bonnie lean away. Patrick rocks back and forth in his seat. 

Only Albert seems unbothered, still flipping through his book without a midst of panic about him. 

---

ALBERT: “What? Everyone was too preoccupied crying for mommy to notice me. What does sudden and terrible death matter, anyway?”

---

At the very last second, the plane deploys a few massive parachutes, and lands softly on the beaches of an island. 

Mal looks out the economy window. “See? Island!”

Julia’s jaw drops. 

---

JULIA: “Okay, she may be crazy- like, class A crazy, nuttier than a nutbar dipped in peanut sauce nutty- but she isn’t stupid. I just have to find a way to use this to my advantage…”

---

The teens uneasily exit the plane, groaning and holding their heads. Most of them are a sickly shade of green, and even Chris looks tussled. 

“That was a nasty trick you pulled,” Courtney says, pointing an accusing finger at Chris and wheezing. “You could’ve killed us!”

“Hey, man, this one wasn’t me,”

Chef walks out from behind the plane, holding a wrench that’s bent in all kinds of wrong ways. He shakes his head. “It’s not looking too good,” he says. “We’re gonna need someone qualified to handle this.”

Chris shudders. 

“So, it’s fixable?” Max asks, crossing his arms. “You guys just don’t want to pay for it?”

“Hey! We’re on a budget!” The host snaps. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out- I’ll call the producers. In the meantime, uh… I guess we’ll do our challenge here. Wherever this is.”

The teams look around the island, taking note of the sandy beaches and lush vegetation. 

“St. Helena,” Mal comments. “We’re off the coast of South Africa, east of Rio de Janeiro. Coordinates 15° 58′ 0″ S, 5° 42′ 0″ W.”

Everyone turns to her, blinking. 

“Oh, great. She’s doxxing the island now!” Ass shouts. Julia shoves a finger to their face and approaches Mal cautiously, smiling widely. 

“Mal,”

“Hm?” the brunette asks, back on her phone. 

“Do you think your… um, geographical knowledge might actually help us?”

“Duh,” she scoffs. “But it’s not like anyone ever asked me!”

Julia grits her teeth and smiles wider. “Well, we didn’t know. Think you could help the team this time?”

Mal thinks for a moment, then shrugs. 

---

MAL: “What? I’m not stupid. I know a lot of things besides fandom and phones- I know where all the challenges are going to be, I know that Bonnie still keeps a picture of Caesar with them, I know Frollo is in the cargo hold-” she sighs. “You know, fandom bloggers really are the most oppressed people in society. I-”

The camera goes static. 

---

Chris stands before the three remaining teams as they organize themselves across from each other on a grassy field. The host himself is on the phone, grumbling to himself. 

“Yes, well, the hot tub was necessary, so- hello? HELLO?” he sighs, tossing the phone behind him. It hits an intern in the head and they collapse. The teams look between each other awkwardly. 

“Looks like we’re on our own. Luckily, due to a quick wiki search- we can stay on theme! Welcome to St. Helena- island in the middle of nowhere. Best known for being Napoleon’s final resting place after he was exiled here way-back-when. Since we were originally going to Waterloo, we can just do the same challenge here. You kids will be recreating the historic battle that sealed Bonaparte’s fate. Team Friendship-”

The aforementioned look up. 

“You’ll be playing the part of the French army. AKA, the LOSERS!” he chuckles. “Team Yaoi, you’ll be the Prussians, and Team Mojo, you’re the British.”

The respective teams watch as Chef begins rolling out cannons. Courtney raises an eyebrow. “What exactly is our angle here?”

“Um… don’t get blown to smithereens by a cannon?” Chris chuckles. “I was kinda just hoping you guys would get your hands on weaponry and go crazy.”

“You’re letting us have real weapons?” Phillip asks, eyes widening. He grins maliciously. 

---

PHILLIP: “I believe I’m destined to kill a man. Basically it’s like, my destiny and stuff, and this show seems like my best shot. Whoever I attack should thank me- dying in combat is the highest honor a man can achieve!”

---

“Historically accurate weapons... mostly!” Chris corrects. “Last team standing wins, yadda yadda… hey Chef, we still have that inflatable pool, right?”

Chef nods. 

“Sweet! See you all in a few,”

Staci sighs as she watches the two walk off. Turning back to the team, she crosses their arms. “We need a plan,”

“You think?” Bonnie asks, staring at the ginormous canon. 

“I do, in fact!” she beams. The goth rolls their eyes. “Now, I’ve read about this before… it’s been a while, but I think I remember enough to have us not obliterated instantly. First, we’ll need a stand-in Napoleon,”

Phillip’s hand shoots up. “Ooh, me! Pick me!” he then coughs and artificially lowers his voice. “I mean… or whatever.”

Staci paces back and forth. “It’s gotta be someone smart…”

Phillip trails behind them, casually whistling. 

“Competent. Organized!”

He clears his throat and begins casually leafing through his journal, mumbling his poetry under his breath. 

She looks between the group. “How about… Max?”

“WHAT?” Phillip and Max chime in unison. 

Bonnie raises an eyebrow. “You know… I could see it,”

“It’s because of my height, isn’t it?” he lowers his eyes. They shrug. 

Staci interjects. “No, no! You’re… I mean, you’re a natural leader! You’re smart! And romantic!”

Phillip seizes. “What? Napoleon wasn’t a romantic, he was like, a military guy!”

“But he was really into romance novels,” Staci says. “I used to be muts with someone who kinned him, but then there was a bunch of callouts for people who kinned real life people, so I had to softblock them and they sent a death threat to my workplace. But it’s all good now. Anyway…”

---

PHILLIP: “I am a lot of things, but I am NOT a romantic! I mean, I’m a chick magnet, sure, but I don’t let the ladies lead me astray. It wouldn’t be very sigma of me. I’m fine with being second in command, then,”

---

“All in favor of Max?”

“Wait!” he snaps. 

Everyone raises their hands and Max sighs, defeated. 

---

Julia watches the teams divulge and turns back to hers. “Alright. Game plan, anyone?”

“Don’t get blown up,” Ass comments dryly. They are ignored. 

“Mal? Anything?” the blonde asks. 

She shrugs. “Eh, whatever you guys think. I’m busy- #saveourshow is trending on Twitter, and-”

Julia nabs the phone out of her hands and holds it above her head. Mal pouts. “FINE! We should like… hm…” the brunette scans the field. “I guess we should attack Team Mojo first. We outnumber them, and they really only have the one decent player. Everyone’s been calling them “Team Losers- and Michela” on Tumblr, and it-”

“I am down for that!” Julia interrupts, tossing Mal back her phone like it’s a dog treat. “Team Mojo it is. Courtney, Ass, defend our ground. Mal and I have this covered.”

Courtney and Ass both raise a cautious eyebrow and turn to each other slightly. 

---

COURTNEY: “Is it just me, or are those two getting awfully chummy lately?”

ASS: “Definitely not just you. Something’s up- I smell an alliance,”

---

Patrick plays with the cannon while Michela and Albert try to discuss their angle. He chuckles as he loads the barrel full of heavy projectiles and aims it at Team Friendship. 

“Okay, if we just focus on defense, maybe we can scrape by,” Michela ponders, pacing back and forth. “But we only have the one cannon, and we’re surely going to be everyone’s first target…”

“Maybe we should offer them the princess as a sacrifice,” Albert mutters, gesturing back to Patrick as he lights the fuse. “I’m sure Team Yaoi would ignore us altogether if we let them chew on him for a while.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, cupcake?” Patrick snaps, glaring. 

“You can’t be serious- Julia’s been trying to get you eliminated for days now,” Albert says, waving at Team Yaoi. “And it looks like your odds aren’t good today.”

He scoffs. “As if I’d let some girl-” 

A sudden cannonball flies through the air, whacking Patrick in the back and sending him flying forward with a long shriek. Julia cheers from afar. Michela massages her temples. 

---

Phillip scans the teams, looking between them for weaknesses. 

---

PHILLIP: “Trying to choose a target is pretty hard. Team Yaoi is pretty scary… I mean, lame! I wouldn’t wanna waste my ammo on them,”

---

Staci and Bonnie shove the cannon around, aiming it at Team Yaoi. “Ready?” Max yells. “Fire!”

Kelly lights the fuse and the team ducks, covering their ears, waiting for… nothing. The flame disappears in the breeze, leaving their cannon unfired. 

“Okay, let’s try this again,” Max sighs, lighting another match. “Ready? Fire!”

Again, the breeze blows it away. He grumbles to himself. 

“Maybe we should aim in a different direction,” Staci says. “Team Mojo-”

“Out of the question,” Max snaps.

Bonnie sighs. “You and your moral high ground with that girl. Listen, if we aim for Albert…”

After a long, drawn out silence, he relents. “Fine. But be careful!”

Just as Patrick peels himself off the ground, another cannonball- this time from Team Friendship- hits him in the gut. Max shouts “Damn it!” from afar. 

Albert smirks as he lights the cannon and fires in Team Yaoi’s general direction. “Duck!” Ass shouts, pulling Courtney to the grass as the ball flies overhead. 

The two wait for it to pass, but just as Courtney begins to stand, Ass pulls them back down. “We should talk,”

“About?”

Ass nods in Julia and Mal’s direction as they load the cannon for another shot at Patrick. 

“If they team, one of us is next. And if Mal makes it further in this game than me, I’ll kill myself,” Ass snaps. “As much as I hate to say it, if we wanna stay, we’re going to have to work together.”

Courtney thinks for a moment, and then grins. “Anything to take her down,”

The two shake hands with equally big smiles and then rise just as Julia fires another cannonball at Patrick, nailing him in the back of his knees. He shrieks again and she laughs. 

A shot from Team Friendship flies past them, narrowly missing Mal’s head as she taps on her phone, ignoring the commotion around her. She doesn’t even flinch. 

“Man, that chick is crazy,” Julia grumbles, loading the cannon for another round. 

“Patrick, GET UP!” Michela shouts. “This isn't the time for napping!”

Patrick, face-down in the grass, groans to himself. It takes a few seconds for him to peel his body off the ground, spitting out a mouthful of dirt as his bruised and battered form limps back to the team. 

“Call me crazy, but… I think Julia might be mad at me,” he says to Albert. The latter rolls his eyes. 

“Well, you’d better patch things up, cause we’re getting wailed on over here,” Michela snaps as another shot from Team Friendship narrowly misses Albert. A faint dinging catches their attention and the team grumbles.

Patrick sighs. “I miss the way, Julie said hello- by punching me, in the stomach,” 

“I miss the nights, when she didn’t pick up the phone,” he continues.

“Oh, oh,” Michela and Albert chime in as another cannonball flies overhead.

“Cause other times, she’d wreak havoc”

Patrick places a hand over his heart and gestures towards Team Yaoi. Julie watches him, mortified, while the rest of the team looks between each other awkwardly from behind her. 

“Oh, Julie, oh Julie, I, I miss you so… Oh my Julie, my violent Julie, why’d I ever let you go?”

“I dumped YOU!”

“I miss her smile, and the tables that she threw- at me, when she was moody-”

“Your fault!”

“Oh, I miss the way, we’d never seem to agree,”

“Oh, oh,”

“Cause arguing, always brought out her beauty,” he continues, ducking another round of shots from Team Yaoi. “Oh, Julie, oh, Julie, I, I miss you so… Oh, my Julie, my scary Julie, why’d I ever let you go? Why’d I ever let you go?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Julia says. “Okay, number one goal- Team Mojo has GOT to go!”

Ass ducks a cannonball from Team Friendship. “No offense, but we’re kinda getting pummeled out here- Team Losers is the least of our concern!”

“Team Losers and Michela,” Mal says, matter-of-factly. Ass grits their teeth. 

“They have a zero-sum chance of winning. This is the smartest move. I need him GONE!”

Courtney and Ass make nervous eye contact, but relent. 

---

Phillip watches as Team Friendship misses another shot at Team Mojo. 

“They move too fast,” Bonnie huffs, wiping the sweat off their forehead as they move the cannon back around to Team Yaoi. “We’re never gonna hit anyone at this rate.”

“Hey, it’s not so bad! We got Patrick a few times!” Kelly smiles, putting a hand on their shoulder. 

“...Which makes no difference at all, since he has the relevance of a sack of potatoes,” Max snaps. “Let’s just focus on Team Yaoi- they’re not even looking at us now.”

Phillip nods, pulling out his notebook to scribble something down. 

---

PHILLIP: “You know, I’m actually glad I didn’t get to be Napoleon. Now I can observe the teams and mark my target!"

---

“Faster! We need more ammo!” Julia shouts, commanding her troops in a fitting military fashion. “Hurry up!”

“We’re trying!” Ass snaps, then turns to Mal as she ignores the challenge altogether. “Maybe if SOMEONE was helping, we’d be going faster!”

“Mal has already helped enough. You two, on the other hand, could stand to pick up some slack!”

Ass and Courtney make eye contact, but turn back just in time to see a cannonball flying at them. “DUCK!”

The three drop to the ground and cover their heads as the projectile lands behind them with a thud. Mal remains none the wiser. 

“Damn! Missed again!” Bonnie huffs. “This thing is killing me!”

Phillip chuckles maliciously. “Not yet…”

They glare at him and he sighs and walks away.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Kelly puts a hand on their shoulder. “At the very least, none of our team has been hurt yet!”

---

PHILLIP: “Perhaps I’ve been looking in the wrong directions… maybe my true target has been here all along- the weak must perish!” he chuckles to himself and then screams at a spider in the booth.

---

“You’re not loading the cannon fast enough,” Max says. “Or moving it, or… anything. We need to be faster!”

“We’re going as fast as we can!” Staci insists. 

The team bursts into shouting, bickering and pointing fingers at each other. As they’re distracted, Phillip puts his full weight into turning the cannon around and facing it in Kelly’s direction as they try to mediate. 

“Here we go…” he grins, lighting the fuse. 

“And if YOU hadn’t been yelling, maybe we could’ve focused and gone faster!” Staci shouts, jabbing a finger in Max’s face. He swats their hand away and the two begin slap-fighting. 

Kelly gasps and rushes in to pull them apart, moving out of aim just in time- the cannon fires, sending a ball straight past Team Friendship, and right into Team Mojo’s barrel. 

“That’s not good,” Michela says, seconds before ducking as their cannon explodes. 

Team Friendship stops shouting and turns to the commotion, then to Phillip. 

“Holy…” Bonnie mumbles. “That’ll do it.”

---

As Julia, Ass, and Courtney take their hands off their ears and rise from the ground, they stare in bewilderment at the shredded remains of Mojo’s cannon. 

“So… now what?” Courtney asks. 

Before Julia can respond, however, a rain of cannonballs from Team Friendship showers them. The teens drop to the ground and cover themselves, bracing for the worst, but the balls simply bounce off them. 

Ass stares at one of the cannonballs, then lightly kicks it. It rolls away. “Huh. Imagine that,”

“They’re FOAM?” Phillip shouts in bewilderment from across the field. 

Chris walks back onto the field, holding a coconut drink with a tiny ornamental umbrella in it. He takes a long sip. “You guys done yet?”

“They’ve been foam this WHOLE TIME?” Bonnie shouts. 

“Uh, duh! Can you imagine the lawsuits?” the host scoffs. “The canons are real, though- and they pack a real punch!”

“But- what about Patrick?” Michela asks, pointing to her bruised and battered teammate. 

Chris shrugs. “Soft skin? Anyway… looks like Team Friendship has the most players standing, meaning they win the challenge!”

“What? None of us even got hurt!” Ass snaps. They are ignored. 

“And looks like Team Mojo took the hardest hit, soooo… see you guys tonight!” he chuckles, walking off. 

Michela and Albert look down at Patrick while Julia cheers and does a little dance around Mal. "Gooooooodbye, Patrick!" she hollers.

---

JULIA: "Finally- with that twit gone, I can focus on the game! Maybe having Mal around isn't so bad after all..."

---

“Did everyone have fun today? Yes? No?” Chris asks, looking between the three. Michela rolls her eyes. Albert turns a page in his book. “Anyway- it’s anyone’s game today! Three players left, who will lose, who will lose? It’s-”

“Just kick him off already!” Michela snaps. 

Chris huffs. “Geez, FINE! Patrick, you’ve been eliminated. See ya on the flip side, pal!”

Patrick whines and gets up, holding an ice pack to his head. He takes the parachute and jumps from the plane, landing face-first in the sand below. 

“You know, I usually hate out ground landings, but that one’s okay by me,” Chris says, peering out the door. “Who will be battered next time? Will we ever get off this island? Find out here, on Total Takes: World Tour!”

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group L Round 3: #L5 vs #L6

#L5: Underground boxer loves vampire doctor (BL)

#L6: Three girls and their (not) girly talk

Details and poll under the cut!

#L5: Mignon

[Note on video: Lots of blood. Slight NSFW at the end. Turn on CC for English subs.]

Summary:

After losing his parents at a young age, Mignon lives as a mechanic by day and a cage fighter by night at an illegal arena. Living a life of exploitation and violence, the only person who gives him any attention is Oh Young-One, the resident doctor at the arena.

Despite accidentally discovering Young-One’s true identity, Mignon continues to love him, and it’s this pure kind of love that lets Young-One slowly open his heart. But when the hellish reality surrounding Mignon starts threatening the stability of Young-One’s life, can these two ever find happiness?

Propaganda:

Mignon is an independently-made BL aeni (Korean anime). There are only 12 episodes, and each is around 5 minutes long, except for the last one which is at around 8 minutes. Watching everything is like watching a short film, and not just because of the length, but also because of its quality.

The story is really short, so much so that we don’t get to see how Mignon and Young-One develop feelings for each other (It’s easy to guess why though). We’re thrusted right into the turning point of their relationship, with episode 1 ending with a shocking revelation that immediately propels you into the rest of the story. And by “shocking,” I don’t mean it was unexpected. It’s shocking in a way that its execution ingeniously builds up the tension before exploding right in your face. 

The plot is nothing new in the yaoi genre, but Mignon makes up for this by delivering each aspect to perfection. The colors are purposeful, setting the tone of each scene while also telling us the significance of the place—loud, vibrant colors for the noisy arena, calm whites in the clinic where Mignon finds solace in Young-One, drab blues and greys in Young-One’s apartment where he’s lived alone for years, etc. Seriously, the backgrounds look like stand-alone paintings.

And oh, don’t get me started on the scene direction/arrangement. Every episode is impactful and unforgettable despite being very short. Episode 10, especially, is a cinematic masterpiece. Lastly, the music. There’s a lot of 80s synth-pop vibes that just work so well for it.

Mignon is really the kind of show you can call “art.” It’s a passion project by one person, and it took them three years to complete. You can just see how much thought is put into it. It’s not rushed at all, unlike a lot of weekly anime nowadays that would sacrifice the quality on unimportant scenes. And just for that, I think it’s worth checking out. 

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Physical Abuse, Gambling

NSFW Warning: Tongue kissing and some explicit sex scenes. The parts are pixelated, but it doesn’t really leave much to the imagination.

#L6: Please tell me! Galko-chan (Oshiete! Galko-chan)

Summary:

At first glance, Galko, Otako, and Ojou are three high school girls who seem like they wouldn’t have anything to do with each other. Galko is a social butterfly with a reputation for being a party animal, even though she is actually innocent and good-hearted despite her appearance. Otako is a plain-looking girl with a sarcastic personality and a rabid love of manga. And Ojou is a wealthy young lady with excellent social graces, though she can be a bit absent-minded at times. Despite their differences, the three are best friends, and together they love to talk about various myths and ask candid questions about the female body.

Propaganda:

Galko-chan is a short anime about 3 girl-friends, each representing a trope (the gyaru, the nerd and the lady) being friends despite their differences.

The episode generally kicks off with a taboo question—nothing’s really deep, but it works as a way to just deconstruct prejudices. Girls of all types and non types are welcome, it’s heartwarming.

Trigger Warnings: Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination. Galko is a gyaru, and it’s implied how she’s seen as a “slut”. But deconstructing these tropes are what the anime is all about.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[c0ffeeboy]

cw: really really really long piece, cursing, mentions of crime and drugs, violence (?)

[i've been thinking so much about about toxic dark academia yaoi fall lately just- agh! so not normal about this.]

we're both in a prestigious law school. i'm this broke ass scholarship kid and he is from this old money bourgeoisie family who happen to be long time sponsors for the school. we both hate each other's guts and we both battle each other for the top position in class.

we hang out in different social circles too. he thinks my friends are too rebellious and i think his friends are way too out of touch with reality (which they are, actually). most of our interactions consist of sarcastic insults, name calling, and arguments about the course material in class.

i take an internship at this local law firm where my mentor happens to be the defense attorney in a case where his family could lose their wealth & reputation. i hesitate to work on this assignment, but then i realize that i hate him with a burning passion, and i decide to work diligently on it.

i'm sitting in the library one chilly evening, working on the case documents and sipping my masala chai when he suddenly materializes next to me. i quickly shuffle the papers away and pray that he doesn't ask me about them. "remember the group report we got in today's class?" he asks. "yeah, what about it, shitface?" "we're partners, dickhead!" he smiles, sarcastically.

"oh. great." i involuntarily roll my eyes. i totally forgot that we would be paired by the professor. "did you ask to change our grouping?" "yeah, actually! he said no." "well, he can go to hell. and so can you." i tell him, nonchalantly opening my laptop to download the reference papers for the report. "i happily would, but death hates me, so you have to wait."

i scroll over to the contents list. " i do the first half, you do the second half, i send you my document, you print it and turn it in. done deal." "i wish. we have to work together other the bullshit you will produce will not coherently go with the bullshit i produce. and then we will both fail. because this is worth 50% of our final grade." i totally forgot that. oh fuck, this is a total nightmare.

"fine, fuckwit. we start tomorrow. your house, because there's a party in my dorm." i close my laptop, shove my papers into a binder, take my cup and get up, walking away. i don't even realise it, but my heart is hammering like crazy. tomorrow arrives way faster than i thought, and i am sitting in the library of his absurdly huge mansion, enviously staring at the tall shelves of leather bound volumes. i hear his footsteps, and i go back to work.

"oi, here's some coffee." he pushes a cup of steaming black coffee and a sugar packet towards me. "thanks." i mumble, ignoring it and typing away at my laptop at the speed of light. "it's going to get cold." he says. "mhm." i hum, pirating a few reasearch papers that i need to cite. "for fucks sake, could you take a fucking break?" "no." " go fuck yourself." "why don't you fuck me yourself, you coward?" i reply, trying to not laugh too loud.

"oh. my god." he facepalms. "please, just do me a favour and drink the coffee. it's a special arabic blend apparently." "only if you let me borrow those criminology volumes on the top shelf for however long i want." i point towards them, not looking up. "yeah. now can you take a break? you're going way too fast for me to keep up." "you can look over it, if you'd like." i reply, showing my screen to him. i take a sip of the coffee, and it tastes absolutely wonderful, even without sugar.

"here, you can look at my work. edit it in places you think need it." he says, giving me his ipad. i look over it, and i fall in love with his writing style. it is neat and concise and it wonderfully connects concepts i didn't even know were related. it definitely does not need editing. "this is fine." i give it back to him, and he returns my laptop too.

"we'll continue tomorrow?" i ask. "yeah, sure. let me get those volumes for you." he walks over and pulls them out, handing them over to me. "promise me you won't give these to anyone else." "i am way too much of a gatekeeper to do that." i reassure him.

i stay up all night, studying the books with my noise cancelling headphones in, and i make notes in my journal. this continues for 3 weeks, and we both fall into a rhythm that we like. i can sometimes feel admiration for him, but i ignore it. i wonder if he feels the same way about me.

i keep working with my mentor on the case too. there aren't a lot of details, just that a gardener had died, and it was either a manslaughter or a murder rather than an accidental death due to poisoning. one of his parents was responsible, and the distraught widow was suing them in hopes of closure. what hurt most was that he had a child going through chemotherapy, and they were too poor to afford it.

the hearing date arrives. i decided to attend the hearing because i don't want to go to a celebratory brunch or socialize with the other interns. it goes well, and the judge declares that we need another session with forensic experts to determine the proper cause of death. i think it went well, and we have a chance of winning.

he runs up to me after, clearly in distress. "i thought we were friends." he looks at me with puppy eyes and i feel a bit of my anger fade. "we're not. i'm just doing my job." "do you really hate me that much? why are you helping these guys sue my parents? this could ruin everything for me." he says, on the verge of tears. "do you even know what happened?" "what happened?"

i sigh, and tell him every single tiny detail that i remember. "i know you think your life is over, but there's a chance for you after all of this. this kid gets only one strike, and i'm not going to let him down." i tell him, and walk away.

i get an invite to a party in the afternoon. its for the evening, and a lot of people are invited. i choose to go, even though i don't know the host, because i need a break from reality. what i was not counting on was the fact that he would also be there. and the venue was way too small and too crowded for me to pull an irish exit. oh, crap.

i stay in a corner, away from the alcohol and cocaine. he approaches me. "we have to talk." "okay." "outside." "why?" "oh, god fucking dammit." he grabs my arm and pulls me away to the back garden, the trees devoid of leaves and the air a little too cold. "what is it?" i almost yell at him. "why the hell are you always so rude towards me?" "well maybe if you weren't a piece of shit, i would be nice to you." "go to hell." "promise me i won't see you there." "you might." "then i wont go. piss off."

he tries to punch my stomach. i stop his fist and twist it behind his back. he uses his other hand to hit my shoulder, and i punch his ribs. we continue this, and the almost wintry air burns my lungs. my nose is bleeding, and his cheekbones and collarbone have a few bruises. i gasp for air, tired from the unexpected attack, when he crumples next to me.

"i- i can't." he breathes out shakily. "can't what?" i snap, not expecting an answer. "i can't keep lying. to you, to myself, to everyone else." "okay then, stop lying. simple." "do you want me to stop lying?" "please, asshole. you'd be doing the planet a favour." i don't expect him to bury his face in my shirt and start crying. i also don't expect my dignity, hatred and resolve to completely melt at this sight.

"i don't want to fight anymore. i don't want to live with my parents anymore. i don't want to be a part of someone's troubles. i don't want to hang out with these pricks that call themselves my friends." he rambles, and i can't help but bring my hand up and stroke his hair.

"i don't want to pretend that i hate you. because i love you so much." he says, completely breaking down. "hey, hey. ssh. its okay." i softly whisper, hoping that my heart doesn't leap out of my chest. suddenly, everything makes sense. why i stopped burning when i saw him, why i wanted to help him, why i wanted to hang out with him more often.

he looks up at me, his adorable features tinted red from all that crying, and i softly wipe the tears away, careful to not hurt his bruises. "i'm sorry i hit you. please don't hate me." he takes my hand in his. "its okay, i don't hate you." i tell him. he softly rubs his thumb under my nose, trying to clean the blood. i gently plant a kiss to his palm, not knowing how to apologize.

"you're so mean to me" he whines, cupping my face and kissing me. "yeah, duh. you suck." "you suck more. i hate you so much." "i want to kill you." "well, i'm already planning your murder." "you're lucky you're cute otherwise you would be six feet under." "you think i'm cute." we bicker, until i burst out laughing. "yeah, i think you're a cutie. sue me." i chuckle. he kisses me again, and i let it consume me this time. i want to spend the rest of my life with this man. i could burn the world for him. i would crawl through hell and back for him. i love him so much.

"hey, i found something that might be evidence." he tells me, breaking contact. i internally curse him. "you should've told me sooner! what is it?" i ask. " i found an old audio recording in the trash file of my drive. i don't have it on me right now though." holy crap. this could change everything, literally. "what does it say?" "i think its my dad threating to kill that guy with um, detailed descriptions of death. it matches with quite a bit of the autopsy."

"damn, dude. this is big." "yeah, it is. this could like, shut our entire family companies down." "school too?" "nope, there are many other patrons." "what about you?" "oh, please. my parents have a net worth of 700 million USD. i think we can afford to steal about 50 million."

"i'm sorry, we?" i ask. "yeah. we. us. your swedish hacker friend does this for a living and she owes you a favour. yeah, i know about that even though you didn't tell me." he smirks. "you went through my laptop." my jaw drops. of course he did that. the audacity of this bitch. "i'm sorry, i couldn't help it." he pleads, those eyes destroying my resistance piece by piece.

"fuck you." "fuck me yourself, you coward." he responds, using my words against me. "is that a threat?" "i don't know, is it?" oh god. this man. i clear my throat and change the topic. "i have to go to work after class tomorrow. you should bring the recording with you, preferably on a pendrive. we can't directly turn it in as evidence, and i need it to gloat in front of the others. also, we need to finish our report by wednesday." "its saturday right now, isn't it?" "more like sunday." i reply, pulling my phone out to check the time. 1 AM on sunday. i managed to bag evidence and get kissed by a hot guy. best weekend ever.

"mhm, okay. i'll do that." he says nuzzling into my neck and pressing tiny kisses along my jaw. i wrap my arms around him and kiss his forehead, taking advantage of his shorter height. "you want to come over? there's nobody in my dorm because everybody's here." i tell him. "you're rather bold, aren't you?" "yeah, well, i was thinking we could grab something from that korean convenience store and finish our work." i deadpan. "i'm okay with all that except the work part. we could binge something." "sounds good to me, let's go." we tangle our fingers, and walk away. i finally take a deep breath, admiring the chilly autumn moon and this gorgeous guy i totally wanted to marry.

🫀(blackbird)

PS: I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ANY AND ALL MISTAKES!!! I AM SLEEP DEPRIVED AND THIS TOOK ME 90+ MINUTES TO WRITE!!! PLEASE LEAVE HONEST FEEDBACK AND PLEASE CONVINCE ME TO STOP YAPPING AAA-

i’m…going to think about this for the next few months and only think about this and nothing else

EVERYONE COME THANK BLACKBIRD FOR BRINGING US MORE AND MORE FOOD

dude i’m going to go make four vague posts about this i’m so sorry this is all i’m going to think about

i worship the ground you walk on for even a semblance of the ability you have to writes *insert chanting to the blackbird gods*

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Teresa Diamandis

"Sometimes all you need is a positive attitude and a knife"

---+---

BASIC   

Name: Teresa Diamandis

Nickname(s): Teri (by close friends), Teri-Teri (by Satori), Love, Dear, Honey (all by Wakatoshi), T, Harpy (by best friends).

Alias(es): Shiratorizawa's most beautiful Swan, The Succubus, Aphrodite (in Shiratorizawa), The Huntress (in St. Trinians).

Gender:  Female

Sexuality: Straight

Ethnicity: Greek

Blood Type: O+

Age: 17-18

Birthday: November 23

---+---

APPEARANCE  

Hair:  Back length snow white hair in space buns with bangs framing the upper sides of her face.

Eyes: Ruby red eyes with black eyeliner and mascara.

Height:  166cm

Skin: Snow white

Body: Lean but curvy

Tattoo(s): None

Piercing(s): Gold star dangle earrings.

Scar(s): Faded bullet wounds on her shoulder

Other: She wears pink lip gloss and her left leg is amputated so she has prosthetic. On her neck she wears two chokers: a black fabric gold crescent moon and a simple gold near her neck.

---+---

SCHOOL  

Occupation: Manager

School: Shiratorizawa Academy

Year:  3

Class:  3

Club(s):  Boy's VBC

Number: None

Role/Position: None 

Attendance Record: Good

Average Grade: B

---+---

STATISTICS (out of 5)

Power: 4/5  

Jumping: 5/5  

Stamina: 5/5  

Game Sense (ability to 'predict' or 'sense' the opponents next move): 3/5  

Technique: 3/5  

Speed: 5/5  

Overall (total): 24/30

---+---

CHARACTER  

Personality: Teresa is a kind, caring, organized and supportive girl who is also determined and sometimes persistent, frank, as well as adventurous. Generally easy-going, she's a positive individual who is straightforward, she doesn't keep anything hidden in her heart. She's compassionate and honest, Teresa can bring out the best in people and has a way of getting what she wants.

She may not look like it but she has great intuition and sensitive to the emotions of others, this makes her adaptable to many people but feel exhausted from too much stimulation and will stay in her room for hours to recharge.

She's family-oriented due to having such a large family, though in some cases she can get embarrassed by them. Such as the time when half of them visit Japan to see her and spend time with her, though flustered she appreciated the gesture.

Teresa is proud to be the manager of a powerhouse team though not to the point of arrogance and bragging. She's highly protective of them especially her juniors. One time when she witnessed Tsutomu getting bullied, she threaten to stab his bullies with her heels in their crotch if they don't leave him.

Behind her pretty exterior hides a very sadistic, sarcastic, and hilarious nature. Teresa is a skilled huntress and finds pleasure in her prey's pain, she gets particularly excited when her prey runs as it makes more exciting for her, especially to hear their pained screams.

Though not she's cruel, she will be as a form of retaliation to bullying if they continue, this especially applies to entitled and toxic fangirls who are delusional in thinking she wants all the boys in VBC team to herself, promising to disfigure they're faces if they continue to bully her.

Her relationship with Wakatoshi is similar to an 'old married couple as they often act like parents to the team. She's supportive of her boyfriend and often stays behind with him to help him practice and encourages him to take breaks and relax. Due to his popularity, she's quite possessive of him and would subtly lay her claim on him whenever other girls flirt with him. However, deep inside she fully prepared if he ever chooses volleyball over her, caring about his happiness over hers.

Likes: Family and friends, Wakatoshi, grilled squid and octopus, hardcore yaoi, music, flowy dresses, strong sunblock, sewing, fashion, volleyball, pom-pom pens, knives, her turtle Chelone.

Dislikes: Harm to her friends and family, her ex, toxic and entitled fangirls, her juniors and friends bullied, ginger, forgetting to use sun block, her leg acting up, her extended family being too much, her younger brothers taking things without her permission, entitled people, people saying she should need more sun on her.

Hobbies: Impalement arts, volleyball, shopping, cooking, roller skating, spear fighting, sewing, watching anime and movies, hunting, kick boxing, reading, pottery, playing video games.

Goal(s): To make sure the team is in top form and figure out what she wants in life. (Hopefully to marry Wakatoshi).

Current concerns Hiding her more extreme mangas from Satori.

---+---

SOCIAL  

Mother(s): Tula Diamandis

Father(s): Niko Diamandis  

Sibling(s): Percy, Hector and Jason Diamandis (younger triplet brothers)

Relative(s): Numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.

Friend(s): Shiratorizawa VBC, Shoyo Hinata ,Yukie Shirofuku, Kaori Suzumeda, Shinobou Murasaki, Elise Fontaine, Sara Feng, Josie Sanchez and other girls in St. Trinians

Best Friend(s): Bridget Fortuné, Heather O'Cleary, Irene Song, Juliette Chaveleir, Skyla Barretto, Cat Tamami.

Love Interest(s):  Wakatoshi Ushijima

Rival(s): Any who thinks they have a shot with her boyfriend or tries to replace her as manager with ill intentions

Pet(s): A common box turtle named Chelone.

[paperpeachy]

i hope your last tag wasn't sarcastic because i for one would really like to hear more details about how mimi and the bleck gang sounded in the original dialogue (i don't know where to find this stuff and there's always been misinformation abound in the fanbase)

OMG...! omg ok straightens jacket. fixes hair. WELL IN THAT CASE.......!!!

i used to sit down and translate random pm lines all the time back in da day, but i have no idea where i jotted them all down but i will try scrawling a few things i remember off the top of my head... i am going to start off strong w dimentio, i think a lot of ppl already know he speaks in a fairly feminine-way-for-a-man, with ♡'s and ~'s n all... he also has lil variations of referring to the cast (eg: L-rin, mademoiselle peach. he drops this habit by the end of the game, simply calling them by name) generally polite, mixed w some french. there is also this infamous line that i see a lot of both jpn fans/lpers going ?!?! at:

「フフフ…キミはボクだけのものだ…ルイージ！ だから一緒に…」

^ for anyone who wants to play arnd w google translate lawll. in eng, he simply says, 'i have you now…luigi!!' or something. but here i think he's saying 'hehehe, you belong only to me…luigi! so, let's do this together'. i've watched lpers be like 'what?? does he like luigi/whoaaa yandere...' and his fanwiki is tagged under 'ホモ疑惑' so.....make of that what u will....yaoi wins <3

-

mimi uses 'atashi' to refer to herself, somewhat casual/feminine, speaks in third person in front of the count, and switches to an exaggerated kansai dialect when angered. basically the punk anime boy voice (the english trope equivalent would usually b a brooklyn or texan accent)

((i think the best examples i can think of that fit this archetype are aquarius from fairy tail(speaks in kansai when berating lucy, but speaks all cutesy in front of her bf), or keima's mum from twgok (speaks in a fairly pleasant way, switches to kansai when angered bc of her past of being involved in a biker gang.) maybe a better known one would be celestia ludenberg's whole situation, but I'm not sure if hers is kansai <--going off topic))

for perspective, like i mentioned, tape speaks in the exact same way. they even repeat similar crass phrases: " カクゴしとけや～！！" (which i think means 'be prepared/to die' IDK IN ALL HONESTY but they sound v similar in audio. which i think is fun ovo)

her fanwiki brings up 'burriko' in re: to all that. it's a term for women who put on a childish act 'in front of men', but have a completely different personality in other settings. which i think is rlly inch resting.. the wiki page for this term calls this 'a set of tools employed to mask the self...' so i think it rlly adds an extra layer to the whole 'mimi acts fake to get what she wants' thing. slay honestly

i'll try making a separate post of other small things i discovered...like, i know something mimi says to set peach off is calling her 'oba san' which i thought was a lil hysterical. anyway disclaimer im not a jpn speaker so i may not be the most reliable but ! this is just for fun anyway ! im rlly glad ur interested anon and i hope this was insightful to u !!!

[gegengestalt]

I decided to do this tag game because @annamikhailovna tagged all his mutuals indirectly!

Are you named after anyone? I am not.

When was the last time you cried? Hmm... Perhaps last week. I don't really remember why. I was probably upset.

Do you have kids? No... Unless you count all my neglected creations...

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm guessing sports at school don't really count, so nothing. I never went to competitions anyway.

Do you use sarcasm? Not really. I don't like being sarcastic.

What is the first thing you notice about people? I don't know. Some kind of general impression, I'm very bad with faces.

What’s your eye colour? Dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? I like scary movies.

Any talents? I don't think I'm a talented individual, but the way I have worded essays and exams to make myself sound smarter and the way I manage to connect dots surprises me sometimes.

Where were you born? ... Paris. But there is nothing French about me.

What are your hobbies? Drawing and painting, reading, maybe working out if I find it fun, trying to write, recently got into videogames again. I tried to get into crotcheting but I haven't picked up a ball of yarn in ages.

Do you have any pets? Nope.

How tall are you?... I'm coming out as an almost 160cm short king.

Favourite subject in school? Philosophy, maybe literature, History was great too

Dream job? No, a job is not in my dreams. I need a job. But in an ideal dream, I don't.

Hmm, maybe I can tag some people... @sagapulastation @alyshkas @jstorboy @yvehattan @yaoi-convention and whoever else is mutuals with me consider yourself tagged

[rv2xlga]

another rant: not persona related for the first time i think lol

ok so im back to rant on here as per usual, this time on my sister's computer which is where i do most if not all my websiting and not on my phone which is when you know it is very serious!

ok so as the title suggests, this rant ISNT! about persona 5 as ive been playing kingdom hearts and its been on my list for many, many years but my other sister finally got us a ps4 in nov of 2022 after so very long of us wanting one with her fafsa money and i managed to finish final mix.. now! very productive and not adhd-pilled of me whatsoever (i say incredibly sarcastically) but anywho, i finally finished final mix, as i've stated before and am now playing re:chain and i absolutely hate kingdom hearts' combat because it is so god damn unnecessary and pointless and horrible! but the long time hyperfixation and yaoi grind is so serious which i did not know soriku was so heavy in the game lmfao, my poor girl kairi she deserves so much better omg ToT but that's a whole different, much bigger conversation rant for another day..

but enough with long ass stupid intros, as a long time riku fan seeing his character and just how the overall story has played out so far aside from the ridiculous ass writinggg, i've been really impressed ngl! it has a lot of potential that it actually reaches, again, aside from the horriddd writing, the plot and ending in particular was very similar to revolutionary girl utena which is like. absolute peak everything for me lmfao honestly i wouldn't be shocked if it was inspired by it cuz they are soo many similarities, i kept even pointing it out to my sis (who HASN'T watched it yet very unfortunately!) cuz im such a nerd lmao. and especially with riku, im very happy he's even IN the game first of all cuz compared to most of my other sillies... like rip to my girl akechi you deserved so much better.. but anywho anywho, i really love riku's character and everything his character represents ESP from what i've seen in the com gba ver which i don't know if that passes to re:com, which is the ver im playing but i really hope so cuz i've seen some clips and he is, ugh such an amazing character so yes. im going to deep dive here with revolutionary girl utena, specifically anthy and akio as my basis for most of this lmaosdbhh (rgu spoilers and kh too of course)

i know im very crazy with how i jump to conclusions and try to "analyze" characters and all that, even from as young as i can remember myself i've always thought like. wayy too much its honestly very embarrassing but there's personally a lot of similarities between akio and anthy's whole dynamic that reminds me of riku and diz and ansem, whatever that whole mess is. i know diz isn't essentially a villain from what i've heard and seen and searching more about it now to double check what i'd be saying on here isn't complete nonsense, i forget kingdom hearts is legit nonsense and i clearly do not know much to anything at all about diz and ansem and whatever tf is happening there omglj ToT but but i will try my very best and to differentiate, ill be calling the actual ansem diz and the ansem in final mix just ansem so its easier for everyone involved lol and again ill mostly be focusing on parallels of rgu to final mix but overall, talking mostly about riku (my baby :3) yayy!

its so crazy how the final mix plot went to me, again im actually just very shocked with kingdom hearts' storylines and stuff in general. i imagine not much thought was put behind it as the writing. speaks for itself but it is actual very nuanced and again, has a lot of potential it actually reaches or could reach which is like. gold mine for me! we know that in rgu, akio is very blatantly harassing and abusing anthy in all forms, even the people around her, succumbing to the abuse he had endured throughout all his life really giving him no purpose or real reason as we see and are made to imply in episode 39 and the last scene with anthy as she leaves the school, he has nothing to really back up why anthy should stay, as of course they never will be any real reason to it aside from the abusive cycle that they're in specifically he is stuck in, having to make it everyone else's problem from lack of growth and realization (which still doesn't excuse any of his horrid actions, but was practically impossible for him to do but that is a pretty bigger conversation for what we have here to discuss today). it reminds me a lot of ansem and his connection with riku, how he used riku's body and how ansem's "motive" is never really mentioned in final mix, not that much can really be deciphered with all that darkness-hearts talk anyway but you know. and mind you, i know there's a lot more lore that goes into ansem and the reason for his existence, him being a heartless and all, same with diz and the actual ansem so again, i won't be really going into how ansem and akio are similar as individuals but just as their roles in the respective main storyline of final mix (ive stated that way too much times by now, curse you adhd) riku's body being used as just another vessel to ansem and the "darkness" that was inside of him was only really possible because riku was an easily susceptible child, as children are obviously going to be, and ansem used this position of innocence and hashtag childlike wonder lol to be able to use him and manipulate him to do his bidding, essentially. even after everything, when sora is inside that egg (for reasons i havent yet to know!) which can parallel what happens to utena at the end of rgu, riku/anthy are still in the shadows of their abusers to even save their loved one, as unfortunate as it is. it is just like the door scene with riku and sora which is extremely similar to the rgu door scene (which is when all these similarities really hit me lol), both riku and anthy are inside the door or coffin or whatever the case and they are the ones that have to be saved but it ends up being the other way around as again, the abusive cycle is continuous and unfortunately, ever affecting but it is a very big part to break free from this cycle that you try to grow, into a better person as riku and anthy did. again, they were still connected to their abusers, each to their respective cases but they were actively seeking freedom by putting love first and not just romantic love, but love at all, in all of its forms (such a nuanced thing, lol no pun intended but yes i do love that topic very much) which is something abusers do not have, as someone who is currently in a situation like this, a lot can be said from personal experience.

i think it's interesting to view how riku viewed the "ansem in his heart" as just an amalgamation of fear and abuse of all those unfortunate things. the ansem that he was scared of, not diz/the real deal, was a lot more of a disgusting type of person, someone who was "darker, more foul" as the ansem he knew was a literal heartless being, literally. and diz was able to use this fear to his advantage by being insanely creeping and threatening to him (which is where we can see abusers are still human at the end of the day) when riku could've "choose between darkness and light" or he could've realized his specialness, in a much nicer more peaceful way lol and i don't just say that cuz the combat is awful or as jokes, i genuinely mean it. and in all that, that is the literal definition of abuse! same as what akio did and even with akio's character as his prince self and his present self, we are made to believe they are two different ppl bc of how much he gave into that abuse and let it consume him, he became a monster, someone completely different in his entirety (which i fucking love that btw). and again, i know that is not the case with ansem and diz because they are literally two different people but you can't argue the general ideas are similar and the nuisances/themes are and could be there, i think it works really well for an abuse allegory. using sora, what he held very dear as anthy did utena or just the general idea of a genuine love and connection for them both which is obviously what the care and love stems from, to get riku to do his bidding, changing riku by almost entirely just to discard him later and only focus on what really threatened his power, or abusive cycle in reality (cuz ik the ansem drama goes a lot more serious and family oriented and all that lol), which was sora and in akio's case, utena (by keeping them in "eternal slumbers" in the places that they are situated in or around/familiar with). even to the way that riku treats sora in final mix, which i know isn't really him but his sort of detachment to him is very similar to anthy and how she would treat utena. which really isn't just comphet but it is something much, much bigger than that that doesn't really involve utena much when you really look at it. it is a very general sort of detachment and indifference that comes with abuse i really wished more people talked about because abuse is not just some funny little joke or something to be easily looked over! for the love of god, i am ating at so many things rn good lord. but his detachment towards sora was just his brain numbing to the abuse, losing that sense of love and almost sanity and even humanity to look at it that way, just as what happened to anthy and her barely-any-sense-of personality. like unfortunately it's still riku and it was still him, even if very little but he was still there and what we were seeing there was just the abuse and manipulation taking him over or the abuser and abusive cycle taking them over just as what akio became due to his abusers and cycle, once again as it is continuous, and what ansem's literal existence was and meant. they were or had just become amalgamations of the "darkness" in ones' hearts, the bad things and i think the game like com itself showing that you are a mix of them both and you have to balance them both is very beautiful because yes, unfortunately you can never be truly cured even more so when it has affected you even from childhood, you have to just live with it but you can grow and be a better person because you are human and you have broken free from this cycle and have control over your own life. hopefully this makes sense, i really don't wanna come off any sort of way. writing this all makes me realize it is a very messy and nuanced topic even to describe it which.. makes me love it even more lol.

ima attach some lines here i got from this website online of a let's play lmfao cuz im lowkey losing my train here ugh, fuck adhd omg. but update while writing. i am currently rereading after like an hour and it kinda came back to me. sorry if the next paragraph is kinda random and already has some topics i have already introduced previously I REALLY DO HATE ADHD but i wouldn't be here without it would i now....

seeing more of the lines now, the words and nuisances of the things he says are genuinely soo abusive oml. there's just a lot of potential like i've stated so many times at this point, within the game. as someone with a few personality disorders, black and white morality is such a big issue with me and i feel like the whole darkness and light thing especially with how they handle it with riku can fit really well into that too. i headcanon riku with ocpd, something i have because i was really shocked with how much i resonated with his character and how much i see him struggling with that. him not being able to understand how him and sora and kairi could've came to one (agreement terms i mean, lord) and taking such drastic measures with everything and being so avoidant with the things around him, even with how he had such a want for a bigger worldwide and viewed himself as if he had so much more hopes and dreams compared to kairi and sora due to the simplicity of his innate thinking and again, took such drastic measures to achieve that and even prove it, even if it was mostly unwillingly, he was able to be easily manipulated because aside from being a child, his "larger worldview" was easy to crumble because it is just built on excessive thinking and the constant need for answers (which very much reflects perfection and obsessiveness that is the biggest issues with ocpd) which is very unstable because life isn't really like that and when you can't snap yourself into this realization or have no one else to really do it for you, trust me if you don't suffer through ocd or similar things like that yourself, it is difficult asf lemme tell you that. obsession doesn't really get you anywhere and that even goes into abuse and abusers' obsessions with whatever their "motives" are. it's strange because it doesn't really make any sense as their "motives" are never really real motives and can never really be described but that is just its nature because it is nonsensical and is just a result of overdrive and it kills, as simple as that.

ok so i have a lot more kingdom hearts related-thoughts and analyses aside from all my various other cringe, nerdy thoughts (we don't discuss the intrusive or sexual ones my friends) but i think i've ranted enough for today, another mid-way update but lost my train again, but this is the longest i've ever ranted for, definitely had to get it off my chest that's for sure lol. but aside from the ranting, i hope to use tumblr more, just to be on my own but i hope to post more doodles and art related shit on here as i hopefully figure out how to work my tumblr around and all that so it's easier to post from my phone and stuff without getting the computer and eventually losing all my energy :P yes, i will be cooking up rgu au for kingdom hearts like just doodles is what is to take from all this. sorry if it doesn't make much sense i tried my best fhfdshk