#yanited

[storyshark2005]

New obsession, I'll take questions now.

[pmrashford]

feeling extra 🔴⚫️⚪️ today

[yudgefudge]

sorting footballers into hogwarts houses (yanited edition)

I got the idea from my friend @childishfirmino's fic wingardium guardiola that you need to go read immediately.

Gryffindor

Bruno Fernandes

Lisandro Martinez

Raphael Varane

Mason Mount

Andre Onana

Anthony Martial

Hufflepuff

Marcus Rashford

Victor Lindelof

Tyrell Malacia

Casemiro

Harry Maguire

Fred

Rasmus Hojlund

Slytherin

Jadon Sancho

Alejandro Garnacho (although I could see him in Gryffindor as well)

Diogo Dalot

Marcel Sabitzer

Facundo Pellistri

Ravenclaw

Erik Ten Hag

Luke Shaw

Aaron Wan-Bissaka

David De Gea

Sofyan Amrabat

Donny Van de Beek

Jonny Evans

I'd love to do more clubs if anyone wants to see that + explanations maybe. if you ask.

[trentybenty]

Casemiro’s so ass I’m sorry 😭😭

[moomin279]

I want United to win this bc I don't want them coming into Sunday having been knocked out of Europe and just lost 3-0 to Bournemouth

[cryingforcrocodiles]

The revised book of Genesis says that United is the best club in the world and if y’all disagree you’re going to hell. Can’t be disproved as gen is amazing and I don’t make the rules 😌

BAHAHAJAJA ALIII. SO TRUE!!! IT DOES.... ill pull out the bible rn. it's a new copy n everything. has the embed united logo in it as well, underlined in red text. ill give you the verse number dw

the book of genesis has this exact song in it. right before eve eats the apple. she sang the liverpool anthem under the breath and look what happened to her... poor gyal. should've sang the right song.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: United 4-1 Chelsea

A comfortable win on paper for Manchester United, but another awkward scuff of a game that could have gone very badly.

In the first half, United started and ended strongly with goals from Casemiro and Anthony Martial, but the controlling start quickly turned into disarray and confusion following Antony's injury, with the Red Devils seemingly lacking any tactical sense or composure. Any top 6 team would likely have scored 4, 5, or 6 goals past United in this abysmal spell but Frank Lampard's Chelsea look lightyears away from being that competent.

A good half time team talk from Erik Ten Hag can be inferred given the drastic change of fortunes for United in the second half. Decision making returned and United looked assured in and out of possession.

Patience was rewarded in the 73rd minute with Bruno Fernandes coolly slotting home a penalty, and again five minutes later with Rashford squeezing in goal number 30 for the season - an impressive milestone.

A momentary lapse in concentration allowed a tidy finish from Joao Felix to bag Chelsea a consolation goal, but all in all it was a solid result for Manchester United. A dicey first half atoned for with a professional second half.

[ugartecoco]

what r we ???

[hedghost]

me two days ago: begging for united to do something

the something in question:

sjr calling the men’s team ‘the first team’

mary going to psg

getting moved into portacabins for training

lucia leaving

[vicstenius]

[storyshark2005]

#can u imagine united v chelsea fa cup final that would be so funny#both top 6 team historically but it would feel like a battle of the basement#

we could be the kings of the basement... xD

United v Chelsea 2024 FA Cup Final (AI generated simulation)

[keepscrollinghun]

[trentybenty]

TAKE THAT YANITED

[moomin279]

Onana making saves and Maguire goal

I fear the apocalypse is upon us

[ynwa4eva]

Why is rio ferdinand even still alive?

[ugartecoco]

kids + jenga