adhddevorak

[adhddevorak]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

[adhddevorak]

I hate having to put on a happy face for everyone's bullshit at present time :)

I love getting less presents because I'm not in the polycule :)))

Fuck this shit so hard I fucking hate Christmas here

[adhddevorak]

i think i push back so hard against the valorization of the like "codependent momfriend empath who always puts others before yourself" phenomenon bc of how much it specifically sucks to deal with as a disabled person. people like that will run themselves ragged trying to help you (even when you not only dont ask them to but actively discourage it) & then inevitably when its too much to deal with lash out like its your fault. its just kind of something that happens if you struggle visibly, first the pity & then the inevitable frustration that all that help didnt just fix you forever. its not a noble sacrifice its just bad boundaries!

[adhddevorak]

[adhddevorak]

I’d be long dead in a ditch somewhere or just an absolute shell of myself if I internalized even a quarter of the things people said I was after I didn’t give them what they wanted from me. This period of my life keeps reminding me of Baldwin’s: “You have to decide who you are and force the world to deal with you, not its idea of you.” And Audre Lorde’s: “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

Getting closer to 30 has been about realizing how deep self-betrayal runs in me and how profoundly I want to be liberated from acting like this. It’s boring and predictable. Sacrificing myself has never led to any real growth, fulfillment, or strength… I would much rather the discomfort of loss. I love and respect myself too much now to lay down for people. They will kill you if you let them.

People are going to decide who you are based on a myriad of factors completely out of your control and relevant only to their perspective and experience. I’ve learned it’s best just to say that ain’t got shit to do with me and move on for your peace of mind and spirit.

[adhddevorak]

[adhddevorak]

they should invent a memory that works

[adhddevorak]

"there is something wrong with me" would imply theres something right with other people. which i dont believe

[adhddevorak]

psychiatry’s popularity has made complaining about real, material, corporeal problems awful because everyone will just respond to you with “have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy? have you tried coping? have you tried to avoid negative behaviors reinforcing the problem?” like minds have been so thoroughly colonized that we can only understand problems as something internal to the individual, who is also the only one capable of/responsible for lifting themselves out of their problems.

[adhddevorak]

Does anyone else go into autistic shutdown when you're spoken over when trying to share about a special interest and the people in the room are committed to not understanding and making jokes

[adhddevorak]

[adhddevorak]

I'm sorry it's just really fucking bold to complain that I apparently talk about sex and kink too much

But you're going to have a whole drag/burlesque persona centred on rope

🤔🤔🤔🤔

[adhddevorak]

they should invent a constructive feedback that doesnt make me feel like the guy on the ten of swords tarot card

[adhddevorak]

It's been 7 years. This is now a body he hasn't touched.

[adhddevorak]

[adhddevorak]

so you steal my steal my gender and now the fucking hair colour I was planning on changing to fuck you get your own things

[adhddevorak]

saw this on twitter and wanted to save it here