#yall ive been given too much power

[revivify-inn]

I've been given too much power with the ability to make shirts....

[aropodcastfuck]

more arcane s2 spoilers bc i am losing my mind okay dont judge

also this is so much longer than i originally intended im so sorry

i will be honest with yall i have never liked cait

i hate cops too much to genuinely like her and her poor little rich kid thing always annoyed me (this is not to say she is not a well written character or that her ignorance and flaws are not intentional and purposeful in the story, i think this is essential to her character and is a well done display of how even well intentioned law enforcement are inherently corrupt and how money and privlege create ignorance)

with all that said I am enjoying her villain arc SO MUCH because its just proving everything ive always disliked about her was RIGHT

her trying to recruit vi as an enforcer shows her obvious ignorance to the actual relationship enforcers have with the undercity (although yes ik vi does join them eventually i have alot of opinions about that as well shocking ik)

leading a barrage on the undercity to get jinx which lets be honest here is a personal revenge mission for cait, it has nothing to do with whats actually best for piltover

using her mothers ventilation system designed to protect the undercity from the grey caused by the mining they do for piltover and using it as a weapon against them??? its such a good representation of how you can never trust people in power because no matter how good their intentions (trying to keep the undercity safe and healthy from the fumes) it takes one pissed of person to turn it all against you and there is nothing that the zaunites can do to stop her

cait straight up taking on the role of militant dictator now???? there will never be a good cop the system is built to enforce violence and desensitize its officers to their abuses of power

people at the top of the world, those with power and money and influence will always see the people below them as less than. that is a fact. caitlyn would rather kill who knows how many innocents of the underground because she wants vengence for her mothers death. the uppercities lives will always matter more to her than those below because she is steeped in her position and no amount of lesbian situationship will remove her from her privlege.

even in season 1 before this happend her motivations for trying to stop silco was never helping people, it was about proving herself and her value as an enforcer and to her parents her motivations have always been selfish to me and it only become worse since the attack has given her an excuse to indulge in the power and violence her position grants her

(also this is not trying to hate on anyone who likes her she is a fictional character and liking her has no indicator of a persons actual morality your allowed to feel however you wanna feel about her this is just my reactions to act 1 and her development so far)

[austinsastrology8991]

* DEGREE THEORY * and more...

this is just a theory, I love all degree theories and this is just my spin on the degree interpretations

Okay so I love the connotations towards Aries being 1°13°25° and that making the planet/point being aggressive and brash, and Taurus 2°14°26° making them more stable and growing into their power as time goes on, and so on with the rest of the signs; it makes good sense and I love reading the interpretations assigned to the signs inherent values. But I got a theory so Ive been connotating these degrees to the Tarot Card meanings, and well let me just go ahead and explain myself: 1° = The Magician - Represents creation, willpower, skills, but also negatively; cunning, vanity, or latent talents. > Now in comparison to the normal aries degrees - to me there are lots of similarities, aries is the starter - alike the magician - and they are both very aggressive in the attainment of their goals, which leads to vanity and well 'latent talents' from the lack of foresight. But on the positive they have plentyful amounts of willpower and are able to create things out of thin air since they have little foresight of potential consequences. 2° = the High Priestess - Represents Intuition, subconscious mind, spirituality, secret knowledge. but negatively; lack of self control, withdrawal, lack of self trust. These once again to me at least coincide with a lot of the taurus qualities > self control, self trust, withdrawal... Now i know you def could say its a lot like Pisces but I have a good counter. Look at the hanged man > Surrender, new perspectives, letting go... this is more in line with Pisces than the high priestess actually. Because the high priestess wants you to connect with YOUR higher power, the hanged man would rather you let go of your ego and connect the dots of the world around. But i digress. Also the connection between Taurus and Pisces is undeniable. Now im gonna switch what im sayin a bit but hear me out. > If you have a Pisces ascendant > aries is in your 2nd house (taurus) and we all know aries is something your constantly pursuing and are aggressive in the pursuit. Now if you have a Taurus ascendant > aries in the 12th house (pisces) you are aggresively trying to understand others because you have such a good understanding of yourself maybe learning from others would teach you even more (not to mention gemini in the 2nd... but i digress) okay so i understand this is a lot of information and maybe a little hard to digest so im not going to make it too long. But i have so many other theories and im just testing this post out to see how it is received. I could have gone on about each of the tarot card meanings, but i dont want to waste my time if it isnt going to be received well. However I do in my own spare time constnatly evaluate certain degrees with the connotated tarot cards... Like for example 8° is scorpio - power, mystery, intrigue, and well thats paired with the strength card... I mean im just saying i truly do believe there to be a strong connection between, tarot, astrology and well numerology also, i just wish we treated all the occults as the same subject - the occult because we are all just trying to discover secrets given from higher powers, so why we gotta act like they all cannot be correlated? also we've gone so backwards with our understanding of the occult > those witches back in the day just imagine what they all knew about the occult. and we are just over here trying to tell each other how sexy we are because we have leo and roar loudly or because you have scorpio you are sexy because you have a stinger.... like honestly sometimes i want yall to grow up.... ANYWAY i jumped around too much to be coherent, but well im just speaking my mind and yeah you let me know if this did something to your brain or if you fell asleep and want to be told that your a sexy demon seductress again...

[vidyagamereference]

Yall i may be just dicking around but ive been googling way too much and i think i have a theory

Eridia

meridia

MERIDIAN

Meridian: n.

1. A circle on the surface of the earth halfway between the earths polls

2. A circle passing through the celestial poles and the zenith of a given place on earths surface

Meridian, common meaning in modern fiction:

1. a barriar between worlds, only semi permeable, if at all

2. A major barriar thats mystical

Senobium in Eridia

Synoviam in meridian

SYNOVIAL MEMBRANE

Synovial membrane. N.

A membrane in the joints to facilitate movement and prevent conditions like "frozen shoulders" by controlling the pressure of fluid and other materials in joints

The senobium has kept the barrier between the celestial realm and the shadowfall open to allow for movement between them and without them the barriers would have shut again. They actively maintain their own power by destroying the rest of the human race

Remember my theory of "as above so below" meaning "as the Senobium so the Bloodhounds"? I think i just cracked some of the shady shit they're up to

Since the celestial realm is seen as where people go where they die maybe Leander is trying to Crack open death and make the barrier permissible

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

mega mega fumin'

ok yall so ive been in college for a week and two days (everybody clap) its been fun, most of the ppl here are queer and ppl are very nice, my classes are going well so far :))))))))

and ive been watching tua s4 as a part of my nightly routine while i redo my hair for bed.

and um

i combed my hair for the week today while finishing the season and i have some thoughts on the matter.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 4 UNDER THE CUT

what in the everloving fuck was that

i already want to rewrite the lorax in a very dark manner after listening to biggering but that??? THAT?????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??????

HE NEEDS TO COUNT HIS FUCKING DAYS WHO WAS IN THE GODDAMN WRITING ROOM IM THROWING CHAIRS AND TABLES, FUCK A HAND

the romance plotline was ass and wasnt in character AT ALL, i dont see it as a part of reality that exists, both for five and also lila.

lila is not that shallow of a woman or a mother to just do that, i think we all know that she cares a hell of a lot about her marriage with diego AS WELL AS HER FUCKING CHILDREN than to do something like that. even with her entire chaos personality and potentially using people, she would NOT go that far because her love for her family does not outweigh 7 years of no dick.

and five is quite literally one of the most intelligent characters in the series (it shouldve been him and dolores). nothing could ever convince me that he would fall in love with his BROTHER'S WIFE and feel no immediate remorse towards it, once again, 7 years or 7 fucking decades, please leave your complaints in my vacuum of "i dont give a fuck".

i actually liked ben and jennifer as characters interacting. if we take out the marigold and durango wimey shit, i wouldve loved to see them be in love and interact with each other as is. i think he deserves nice things. also since its literally been two years since i watched season 3 bc i watched it one, during a really shitty ongoing OCD episode and two, because i thought it was an "ok" season. (almost said bad, but we now know our standards were much much too low). there was also a point in which i thought that ben and jennifer were connected bc she came out of a giant squid (in which wtf), and ben has tentacle powers??? idk its odd to me too, don't worry.

reggie i hope you choke asshat, as well as you and your wife. at first i thought homegirl was a bootlicker but no i cant really call her that. she was fr like "well it was my death, you chose to bring me back fuck u hubby" erm yeah that was definitely something, viktor you shouldve killed him when you had the chance honey. also i blame reginald for that shit, he was the goddamn anomaly, not the entire umbrella academy???? at first i thought five blinking into the apocalypse all those years ago was the anomaly, but nooo we're gonna blame the abuse victims. *rolls eyes*

more about him um his entire "im gonna bring her back" shit was giving gendo ikari (for those of you who don't know, gendo ikari is an antagonist and key character in the anime neon genesis evangelion, in which he was a miserable fuck and loved his wife so much he killed the entire world to see her again, then that didnt even happen). him taking the shot on the ben and jennifer amalgamation which in the end triggered the cleanse???? that was weird to me. like him being an asshole wasn't weird, that's already been established, but their death and recombination just triggering an event that severe???? wild, still kinda confused.

the only way i could see raymond walking out on allison is if she really, and i mean REALLY fucked up. but given everything that she has done in the past, i think she learned her lesson. raymond would never, i wouldve preferred him to have died off-screen than to have walked out bc???? anyway moving tf on.

i enjoyed klaus a lot this season bc hes my favorite but also because a part of me enjoyed seeing a different, more "real" anxious side of him. (that i could relate to a bit more). after reading a few opinions and watching the deleted scene where he went to an AA meeting and finally actually admitted he was an alcoholic to himself......steve blackman wtf. was this the bad ending, did we all fuck up that bad in our choices that we got HERE????? im kissing him on the forehead, i cant believe the last time i saw klaus hargreeves on tv there were actual tears coming down his face im....im so sick y'all.

whoever decided to put all that vomit in the episode please dont do that again. i know you cant put warnings for literal barf on a tv show but as someone who suffered through the roaches of season 3, then had to take breaks watching the sick episode of this season bc emetophobia......ew. (the baby shark shit was funny as hell to me oopsie)

i actually kinda enjoyed jean and gene as characters, their dynamic was entertaining to me, but i wish i got to see more of their history, i especially found it a little weird how jean was holding gene's face in the episode that five and lila were in the meeting together.....i wanna know more.

erm i think the concept of the keepers was also interesting. like a little group of people who know they see some weird shit and find other folks, kinda neat.

the casual drop that one of the fives made the commission???? we're just gonna brush past that???? like it makes a fuck ton of sense bc its a collection of fives we're talking about but i just.....that was a shock to me, one in which i felt i had little time to recover from given it was the last fucking episode and everything that happened after that....happened.

i liked luther the most in this season methinks. i think i had to realize him being shitty in season 1 specifically was partially a trauma response, and he felt he still had to act how he was expected to. once again, fuck you reginald hargreeves, please kiss the darkest part of my black ass.

yeah lets all just ignore all the shit that happened and either let season 3 be the end where they all go their separate ways or even better, season 2 bc that shit was peak highkey.

[houseofwolvess]

holy shit

the site where i found the tea named after dallon? turns out they have a ton of ones names after fandoms and all that shit

they have fucking my chemical romance ones. my chemical romance. i could buy tea named after an mcr album for fucks sake. ive been given too much power.

[ap-sadistics]

i had to make this gif. on the spur of the moment. at 4am. like i was possessed. artistically this is my favorite fucking part of this ep. THIS COLOR SHIFT............ MAKES ME FUCKING LOSE MY MIND........... ALSO IM THINKING ABOUT JACKET SYMBOLISM AGAIN....... I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT IT HERE SO IM JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW

BIG FUCKING SPOILERS HERE IF THIS GIF WASNT ALREADY SPOILERS ENOUGH. DONT READ IT YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW.

some time back i started thinking about the emotional significance/symbolism of mks fucking jacket. this jacket specifically.... was given to him by mei........................... it was her gift to him....... its his new look in s3... but it ended up burning the same way as mei did......... MEIS JACKET WAS LOST LIKE SHE WAS................ it burned as mk tried to save her..... she continues to burn in order to save him.... ough.......... fuck i might be reading into this too much BUT. THERES AN ATTACHMENT THERE........ its symbolic...... THIS JACKET REPRESENTS OF BOTH THIS SEASON AND MEI. AND HER FRIENDSHIP WITH MK....... IT HAS GREEN!!!!!!!! HER COLOR!!!!!!!!!! AND RIGHT HERE. IN THIS MOMENT. IN THIS GIF. IN THIS SCENE IN WHICH MEI HAS BEEN CONSUMED BY FLAMES, ENGULFED IN RED AND BLACK, LIKEWISE THE SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENS TO HIS JACKET..... THE GREEN IS GONE. SWALLOWED UP BY RED HEAT.. and by the end, its gone... and then so is mei..... this is such a gorgeous fucking transition of a scene and im absolutely obsessed with it............

ALSO THIS JACKET LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE THIS ATTIRE SO MUCH BUT ITS ALREADY GONE AND IM SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT THAT BUT FUCK THE IMPACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT LEAST IT WENT OUT IN BLAZE.... ICONIC JACKET TRULY.........

and also actually... i extended these jacket symbolism thoughts to the previous seasons also and... didnt mk stop wearing his monkey king jacket...? yall, you know, in the same season that he didnt have his powers? in my personal opinion i felt like monkey king is much less of a mentor figure in s3...... that he has ever been. s1-s2 is all about mk being sun wukongs successor.. which matches the jacket.... Hes The Monkie Kid. and thats his identity. but s3 absolutely had more mei focus..... and that jacket had green but no monkey.... hey.......... fucking i could be talking out of my own ass but if i think of this as a theory also......  mk is wearing pigsys jacket now...... what if they do some dad relationship focus next season also..... of course i could be entirely wrong but MAN. i would love to see some jacket symbolism like this again... would love to see consistency with my analysis and be freaking validated by that..... WHO KNOWS IF IT WILL HAPPEN CONSIDERING THE STATE OF THINGS S3 HAS LEFT OFF ON.... THERES A LOT OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.... but yooooooo. i want dadsy. gimme that parental relationship with mk specifically. i want it....

anyways JACKET. IT CARRIES SOMETHING. IT POSSESSES A CERTAIN LINK TO MKS IDENTITY..... its a essential part of mks look. its iconic and its noticeable when it fucking changes. they literally had a magical girl sequence when mk changed his jacket in s3. they drew attention to it, they made a big deal out of it. so i like to believe. that what ive said so far. has a measure of truth. weight. significance. and that im not freaking crazy. about this specific thing anyways. thanks for listening to my tedtalk

[mingjue]

character bingo do taishakuten lmfao

When i say i actively hate this cunt i am not kidding. The pure POTENTIAL that taishakuten had, especially in relation to Ibaraki or even Onikiri, was genuinely wasted on a game that only cares to pander to the fujoshi fanbase. I believe hes Indra? I think? I cant remember but the guy hes based off of is so damn OP and has SO much they couldve built off of but no they went for euginicist blond haired twink

I honestly hold him in similar light that i do jgy, the only difference is that canon jgy is actually interesting whereas taishakuten is genuinely fucking intolerable, ESPECIALLY as of sporos event. The memory wipe thing was such a pitiful fucking retcon and while it does bring in an interesting dynamic between shuten and asura, we're left with a 'naive & innocent' taishakuten who doesnt remember the legitimate tyranny, genocide, & pure torture that he put the celestial realm and asura through. Literally you would think the son from a noble family would know how propaganda works if he wanted people to see asura in such a positive light

Also on top of this, ive despised celestial arc ever since they took one of THE most major character traits of ibaraki and brushed it off in two slides. What the fuck do you mean taishakuten just fucking pulled out the shard in his arm. Why were there no repercussions? Why was it so easy as to just. Pull out a shard. Shuten couldve done that. Even seimei couldve, or seimeis DAD LMFAO?!?! we're given no actual gravity of how powerful that shard is outside of the troubles ibaraki had been going through pre celestial arc, and even then when theyre actually IN celestia ibaraki doesnt seem to be bothered by it too much outside of it guiding him? In fact iirc it doesnt even go over the shard quite literally speaking to ibaraki. You couldve had your toxic yaoi love triangle (or. Square) if you wanted something reprehensible but literally it was dismissed in one breath

Also taishakuten was responsible for the destruction of sealand whether yall like it or not, idc if orochi wldve gone after it, taishakuten participated in consuming the energy w/o questioning OROCHI of all evil gods

[rjshepherd]

give us the nsfw pack leader karl hcs PLEASE

lmao yall are thirsty af for this man huh?

argh ive left this one in my inbox for so long all my good ideas have dried up and withered away like a dead plant. this was also send in a time where i liked lycan Karl and now i dont canon it so much anymore DX .i hope these will still be ok :

-When Karl turns full lycan, all bets are off. He's temporarily lost all his humanity, all higher brain function given way to animal instinct: fight , fuck, feed, flee etc.

-Lycan Karl still looks mostly human. He's still got a great deal of control over his mutation. But that being said he has been known to slip up, give too much of himself away for more strength. He's capable of walking upright but moves more like the lycans, climbing walls, lunging on all fours or resting on his haunches. the only physical signs are his sharper teeth, slit pupil eyes and longer nails.

-He's still capable of using his metal powers but it comes at the cost of accuracy and fine control. he mostly flings heavy metal objects and hopes for the best. if that fails, he's got claws and teeth now and he's not afraid to use them.

-When he's like this, karl is pack leader, no questions asked. Creatures like Urias keep their distance from this tiny feral human, lest they wind up as one of those four F's. he doesnt take control from the lycan leaders often, but when he's in that sort of mood theres no sense arguing with him.

Speaking of the 4 F's lets go deeper shall we?

-When lycan Karl fights, its usually with the lycans. Prey are usually taken down without too much fuss but the some of the other pack members dont like it when this tiny hairless ape comes sauntering in, stinking of oil and death and starts demanding tithes and devotion. He's got a fair few scars from defending his place at top of the food chain and even more from creatures who cant seem to get that lesson through their thick skulls.

-Normal Karl might seem like he's spoiling for a fight 24/7 but lycan Karl as at least a little more sense in this regard. If you pick a fight with anyone who looks at you funny, soon the whole pack would be out for his blood. He avoids conflict as much as possible but lycans do a lot of posturing and acts of aggression for dominance. they dont usually comes to blows mind you.

- since he's the leader, he's broken up a few fights that have gone on too long. Again, if everyone fights to the death all the time, there wont be anyone left soon enough. Most of the time the lycans just swat at each other, grazing blows or warning shots before anything too serious happens. you have to remember however that Karl is not a full lycan and something they could brush off would could be lethal to him. its a good thing he has the Cadou healing him because the lycans will never treat him with kid gloves.

-Lets be real here, If he's fucking its probably with the lycans too. Feral Karl doesnt care where he gets hole, as long as its warm. Its often hard to tell what is fighting and what is fucking with these creatures, they dont usually live long enough to mate or have ruts/heats. The lycans arent his first choice for sex but he did know some of them when they were human, and if everyone is willing, why the fuck not?

-i mentioned how fighting and fucking for these creatures is pretty much the same; sex is violent and not in a kinky spanking or hair pulling way. im talking about breaking bones, ripping out chunks of flesh or pummeling on another into unconsciousness. its a constant fight for dominance that usually leaves both parties looking like theyve been fed through a wood chipper. Karl learned this one the hard way. man is a glutton for punishment

-If by some chance he's found a living human he wants to fuck, he MIGHT pull back on the feral tendencies for just long enough to sweet talk them into bed. Dont expect it to last, when the lust hits his veins he's going to revert back to savagery. youre going to be nipped, clawed, scratched and bitten. youre going to lose handfuls of hair, have your clothes ripped to shreds and your makeup (if you wear any) smeared across your face. You'll be littered with bruises and covered in fluids. Karl is going to ride you relentlessly until he's satisfied, thrusting into your holes until he has you almost doubled in half or riding your dick/strap until he's bruised your hips with his rock hard thighs.

-im going to just come out and say it; lycan karl isnt good at aftercare. He'll cuddle you all you like, bring you a towel to clean up but beyond that he doesn't care much. he's completely unaware of how normal humans heal and recover from such treatment. dont be surprised if he has the GALL to ask you for another round while you're lying there half dead. maybe wait till he's away from the pack and has located his human decency again.

- theres not a great deal i can say about Lycan karl's eating habits. He defers to the pack for such matters as he usually doesnt hunt himself. The rule is that he gets his share first. The lycans dont always bring back raw food or dead animals but he doesnt have a problem eating that sort of thing anyway. sometimes they will steal from the villagers but Karl usually makes them put it back. He doesnt want a bunch of pissy farmers showing up at his door complaining their grain and chickens have gone walkies.

- he does have a strict "no raw pork" policie mind you. Lets just say no one wants any parasites in their body besides the cadou.

-last F i guess, Pack leader karl isnt stupid. he's clearly got some strategy behind his metal army and when he's with the lycans its much the same. He prefers to stand his ground and fight but he's not so bloodthirsty and mindless he'll fight to the death at his on detriment when legging it makes more sense.

- its a little cute to see if very rare but when something has gotten the better of Karl, licking his wounds is quite literal. He does it out of force rather than a certainty it will help. im not sure he enjoys the taste of his own blood very much but at least keeping the wound moist and clean will let the mold do its work.

remember i said i was going to try and write a little less so i didnt burn myself out. yeah what happened to that idea lmao?

[thisdreamplace]

i feel like i havent properly updated in a while so here we go :))))

so lately, ive really been practicing knowing how i cannot mess this up. also sitting with my fears and doubts as they arise and choosing a new story. im practicing full surrender and acceptance of the 3d. and knowing how i must change myself and leave the outer world alone. practicing self validation, over the subtle need for 3d validation. i want to say this podcast episode has really been so helpful for me in navigating this.

about a week ago i felt such deep confidence and knowing within myself. like i felt confident in who i really am, and i just KNEW my desires want me too. i even started to openly talk about my desires with others, because for the first time ever i felt like it was just a fact. i didnt feel like i was reaching for the moon, i felt like the moon was reaching for me. (any audrey fans reading this ?? hehe) i felt so confident i was able to look my 3d mirrors in the face and say, yep. its mine ! i didnt care if i was looked at crazy or not, because i truly felt so confident and secure. it was the most wonderful experience.

shortly after that though, all hell broke lose. a major purge began. at first, i felt so blind sided. it took a couple days for me to make the correlations. everything that was coming up, was the opposite of that confidence and knowing i felt. in a way, it became almost funny ! like this is literally a purge of the old story. i mean, it didnt take the pain away but it was a small amount of relief to realize, i really just have to persist through this moment. i had my fair share of breakdowns, for sure. i even cried so hard one night, wishing i never learned about the law. i felt so suffocated.

what i kept doing, and keep doing, is deciding i can choose where i want to go in any given moment. yall, this is the most difficult thing i have ever done. im not going to lie to you. i am used to giving myself the space to feel victimized completely, knowing how what im experiencing ultimately means nothing, then persisting when im ready. this is my first time that i am, more often than not, looking these doubts/fears/unwanted circumstances in the face and saying, “i accept you. i know you mean nothing. i know its okay that this is so painful right now. i know my desires are already mine.” this is my first time truly practicing acceptance of the 3d and responsibility, then turning inward, knowing how consciousness is the only true reality. practicing letting go of that want for control over the 3d. not allowing my mind to get caught up in “what am i doing wrong ?” and choosing to know i am doing everything right, and these moments are proof of that. like,, i would be lying if i said it wasnt fucking uncomfortable ? but i will say, ive reached the space where i know how this is the work that must be done. i have nothing to lose. and everything to gain. and i GET that. like i KNOW it. omg ive been going thru it emotionally, the circumstances have been beating my ass fr, and yet i KNOW everything is just getting better for me. its like on a level, i dont even want to wallow in self pity ? like as tough as this is, i know that theres so much beauty and love thats coming out of this rough ass patch. like wow. through all of this, i am choosing faith.

to wrap this up i wanna say that more than anything, i want to live freely. (shout out to i am love for emphasizing how its okay to be human!!!!) i dont want to be a picture perfect person. i want to be me, happy, cry baby, joyful, bratty, romantic, playful, allllll that. and i want to live my dream life being true to me. i dont want to give up the things that make me, me. not saying that i want to be miserable, not at all. but im saying this in the way that i fully acknowledge and am accepting how im here to have a human experience. and i dont want any part of me, sweet or sour, to dictate whether or not my desires are mine. they just are mine. existing is reason enough. im allowed to have it all and be human. so, here i am being honest with you guys about everything. im not scared of my past or the circumstances, because i know they have no power in the face of who i truly am: God of my reality, unconditional + eternal love.

💖🌈💫🌺

[burnedbyshoto]

shallow or deep

— “Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst (insecurities), cursing

word count: 2,544

a/n: I took the shouto has an insecurity over his scar even if it isnt that deep headcanon and ran with it, I hope yall enjoy this!!!! its been awhile since ive managed to write a fic in a single day!!!

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“You’re quite the handsome man!”

“Oh, thank you.”

“But that scar... don’t you want to get that fixed? I know someone with a quirk who can fix that up for you!”

“Thank you for your concern, but I think I am content with it.”

~

“Without a doubt, you are by far one of the most attractive Pro Heroes to have existed!”

“Thank you for your compliment, but I think it’s my ability to—”

“Don’t you think you would look hotter without your scar? Have you ever considered getting it removed?”

“...no, I haven’t…”

~

“Just imagine how Shouto would look like without his scar, here are some edited pictures for reference!”

“Wow, if I didn’t want to give him my life already, I would sell my soul to the devil to get with a scarless Shouto…”

“I don’t know, I think the scars sexy! Like look at it, it makes him so mysterious and badass! Guys with scars are so fucking hot! But in my opinion, without the scar? Shouto isn’t shit!”

“Guys with scars are hot, I’ll give you that, but not one-fourth of the face scars! He’s extremely handsome still, but it’s a bit tacky for the scar to be there. If it had been like Deku’s arm and hand scars — hell, even Eraserheads face scar — he would be so much finer.”

~

“And just how did you get your scar, Shouto?”

The American interviewer who sat in front of Shouto during this live national interview had the kindest smile on her face, but to the Pro Heroes who sat on the stage alongside Shouto could recognize that shark-like glint in her eyes. Her face was calm, tranquil, beautiful, but her eyes sent bitter acid through the Heroes mouth.

“I’ve already explained what happened in a previous interview,” Shouto spoke calmly, his fingers digging into his knees.

Your eyes looked over to your boyfriend, who seemed to be trying everything in his power to remain calm. You’d only seen this happen through a screen, never in real life.

The interviewer seemed unconcerned with his rebuttal, most likely expecting this from the man who wasn’t one for repeating big stories. Her chin tilted up almost like she was looking down on him, looking down on who he was. 

“Well then, I’ll bite,” she leaned forward, and you felt on edge to attack, but a hand gripped your wrist when a cruel smirk spread on her face. “Do you resent your mother for burning you that night? How do you feel about the fact that it was your mother who ruined your charming looks?”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The car was silent.

Your eyes tried to remain focused on the road ahead of you, but to your misplaced anger and hurt, you focused on the side of Shouto’s face every so often while he drove.

The radio wasn’t even on, something the both of you enjoyed blasting because you would sing stupidly loud and Shouto would hum along in his own mirth. The only sound heard was the tires driving against the gravel road and your irritated breathing. 

The two of you had dropped off your friends five minutes ago, the once awkwardly tense car melting to this angry silence between the two of you in the front. 

You hadn’t defended him on live television because Momo held you back, and Shouto allowed the interviewer to defile his family’s past abuse with her keen touch. The silence between the two of you was also irritating you.

Once the interview was done, Shouto had been the first to rise from his chair and to leave. And you were hot on his heels. You hadn’t been forgiving to Shouto when you finally corned him.

“How could you let her talk to you like that, Shouto?” you blazoned, your heart hammering in your chest, anger, humiliation, and sorrow riling you up. “She was a total fucking cunt, and you just took it!”

Shouto stared down at you, that old yet familiar distant look in his eyes — that anger that burned brighter than any fire he could produce flaming in both eyes. 

“Drop it, y/n,” he all but hissed, his face stone, his tone fierce. “You don’t need to fight every single fucking thing that makes me uncomfortable.”

Those words weren’t enough to make you drop it, had it been any other fight you would have continued to press him for what was wrong with him, but it was that look in his eyes. The old look that you had sworn long ago you’d never allow to meet his eyes again.

The anger, humiliation, and broken look that he used to wear every day.

When Shouto finally parked, he didn’t hesitate to get out of the car, the door slamming loudly while you stumbled to follow after him. 

But he was tall, too tall, and was in the house well before you could close your own door. It didn’t deter the way that you stormed towards the house, the devil, and god riding on your shoulder in this battle to figure out what the hell was wrong with Shouto.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“I don’t resent my mother,” Shouto cooly stated. “It was an unfortunate accident, but fortunately, it hasn’t kept me from anything. I still have complete sight and functionality, so I’m okay. I could never resent my mother.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, coming into the house.

This was Shouto’s house, something that Endeavor had gifted to him in his expression of apology. He and his siblings had been given their own homes the moment they turned twenty, and shortly after starting your relationship, he had asked you to move in.

You both were now twenty-three. You were neither each other's firsts on many levels, but there was no denying that this was the best relationship the both of you had. You comforted each other to no level, loved each other like no other. It was almost a shame that you didn’t have any feelings for your old classmate during high school because maybe then you’d been together for longer than a year.

But nevertheless, the two of you held no regrets. His house had become yours with him.

It was a bright place, no matter how dull the day was, it was always vivacious and warm in here.

But not now.

The door closed behind you, and you saw Shouto standing at the kitchen table, head lowered, arms tense. The world seemed grey, dull, and cold. You almost swore the house’s temperature was ten degrees cooler while you approached your boyfriend, who appeared to be trapped in his thoughts.

You neared him, your own anger diminishing slowly when you saw the shadows over his eyes, his teeth gnashing in a grit. 

Sorrow, humiliation, guilt.

That’s all you could read from him, but you needed more from him.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The interviewer seems to have expected that answer for she remains unfazed, but that predatorial glint in her eyes remains. The eyes of someone who hasn’t shown off their strongest of cards.

“How about relationship-wise? Have any of the beautiful ladies you’ve dated or have wanted to court in the past told you that you’d be much more handsome without it? Don’t you wish that you could be more normal for y/h/n?”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. It was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn't good enough for you.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You stood up, the chair you were sitting on scraping loudly against the black floor. The interviewer snapped her attention on you for just a moment, eyes sparkling with the thrill of getting a dramatic reaction from someone.

But Momo and Uraraka held you down, and Sero’s tape came across your mouth to keep you from talking your mind.

“There have been words like that before,” Shouto says, his voice steely smooth. “But as you can see, I’m not dating anyone who shares those same opinions.”

The interviewer seemed to deflate at that answer, obviously not the juicy breakdown she was hoping for. She continued down the mass interview with the most successful class from UA’s hero program, and you continued to fume in your seat. Anger that couldn’t even be quieted by the sour emotions coming off of Shouto in large waves.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“W-What?” you say almost in a horrified whisper.

Your eyes were wide, unsure if you had heard Shouto correctly. You prayed you had. A fist clenched on your chest, your gaze followed Shouto’s clouded face when he stood up completely.

“You heard me right,” he repeats, his focus on the wall. Finally, his blue and grey eyes focus on you; they’re distant, so far away, you weren’t sure if you could get him back anytime soon. A soft sigh ragged in his chest, nearly choking in his throat when he looked at you. “I was never insecure about my scar growing up… I didn’t have anything in sight except for wanting to be a hero, and hell, even through high school, it didn’t matter. No one in our class mentioned it, and I went on to believe that it while it wasn’t normal, it was in some way.” His hands found your cheeks, pressing onto them gently, and you could feel them tremble slightly. “Then I finally liked someone romantically, and we were thrust into the crazy world of media, and I realized that my burn isn’t normal.”

“S-Shouto…”

“The first person I ever dated told me they knew someone who would fix it up for me for free. The second person… well, they were an idiot and thought if we had children, the burn would be transferred over. More and more people both privately and publicly told me that I would be s-so much better without it… Do you think I’d be better without it?” his lips twisted, and you could only stare up in his eyes that seemed so far away so broken. “Even the ones who liked it, it was some weird fetish of theirs… the truth is, I don’t know how to feel about it. I shouldn’t hate it because it’s who I am, but I hate it because people always have some opinion about it, and no matter what I hear, it always pisses me off. I just… you’re beautiful, y/n. You’re the person in my life that I never want to see leave, and I know that it’s shallow to value people only for their beauty, but I’m not beautiful. Scars and burns are not beautiful, they’re ugly... My looks are decent at best, but that’s all that makes me desirable. Not you, though. You’re gorgeous, your personality and attitude never fail to make everyone feel better, and yet you’re here with me… why would you love someone like me?”

There it was.

His eyes kept to your feet as if he wasn’t worthy of staring you in the face. His hands continue to hold against you in a weak grasp, as if he pressed any harder against you, you would crumble to dust or say you hated him. 

Your hands grasped his wrists, pressing his hands even more against your skin. It was an intense action, so out of the blue that his eyes snapped up to meet yours finally. 

Shouto wasn’t sure what to expect when he looked at your face; he knew you were upset about the interview, and truthfully he wished he hadn’t warned Uraraka, Momo, and Sero to keep you down when those questions were asked — should they have been proposed. He also expected tears, you were always one to be more emotional than he was. 

What he didn’t expect were steely yet warm eyes.

“You’re an idiot, Todoroki Shouto,” you finally speak. You took a step closer to him, your heartbeat in your throat. This was a raw Shouto standing before you. A Shouto, you had no idea how he reacted, no matter how much you knew him. So, if this was a rebuilding scene, a moment to get him to see what you saw, you would take it. “You’re right, scars and burns are ugly. They shouldn’t be romanticized. It’s also not the same as others, who take scars as a sign of overcoming hardships and victory. Your scar is one of a kind… but like you’ve said, shallow traits aren’t enough…” Your chin trembled just the slightest bit, but you couldn’t let yourself cry. No, you had to be strong for him. “You’re the kindest person I know, which knowing the saint that is Midoriya and All Might, it means a lot. I don’t mean it because you’re my boyfriend, or because I want you to feel better, but you had every reason to not be kind in your life and look at you, you’re gentle, you’re sweet. You also speak your mind, no matter what. Your opinions are valuable, and that’s why you’re such a great leader. You were made to become a hero that surpassed All Might, and you did it without ever once going down the road your father had intended for you. You did that. But if we’re going to be looking at the shallow traits, we can do that.

Your scar is a sign of growth. It’s ugly, and it’s beautiful. It’s ugly because it makes you feel like you’re not good for me. It’s ugly because it was such a dark time for you when it came. It’s ugly because it’s an insecurity. But I also see beauty. It’s beautiful because it’s another place I can tenderly love at night. It’s beautiful because who you were back then is just a scar of who you were. It’s beautiful because it’s a source of your strength despite it all. You can think whatever you want of it, Shouto, think it’s good or bad, but because it’s apart of you I have to and I choose to love it. Why would I ever want you to change who you are if you’re comfortable with it? What kind of lover would I be if I decided to love everything but one part of you?” your fingers trailed to his scarred skin, the red skin forever warm under your touch. “Shallow or deep, I will never stop loving you.”

Tears fell from his eyes, and his lips crashed against yours.

The two of you sink to the floor in this wet and sweet embrace. Lips never tearing from each other, fingers wistfully holding on, a silent prayer to each other of your devotions, and hope to never leave each other’s sides. Your fingers continued to stroke against his scar, and he held you so close until you could no longer kiss.

So your wet and bruised lips pressed against his warm scar, gentle and soft reminders that you were there for him until his faint cries became steady breathing.

Todoroki Shouto may never get over the insecurity of his scar, but he’d be damned if he thought for a second whether it was there or not, you’d love him any more or any less. You loved him entirely, and for that, he was forever grateful.

[significantlylesschill]

Please infodump about Raymond he's the most oc ever 👀

OH, WELL ! if you insist!!

(for anyone who is unclear!! raymond hashimoto is my [bmc fanon] Creator Of Squips and current head of the organization who manages their creation and distribution)

god we were just talkin abt this yesterday, but my guy raymond got his start as a character bc we wanted an Antagonist and i was the first one to mention i had a character concept on a backburner already; this wassss, three, four years ago-ish and turns out i really liked him so ive been lovingly developing his character since lmao

im preemptively adding a readmore bc i already know im gonna ramble FHKSDJF so buckle up raymond enjoyers!!

THEMATICALLY SPEAKING hes a little bit The Villain Has Some Points But Is Going About It The Wrong Way type beat . i mean. he went the 'use ai to fix everyone' route, yall know how it is; [see Be More Chill for examples]; raymond has always had trouble connecting to other people, fully understanding social cues--stuff like that doesnt come naturally to him, yknow? and the people around him growing up didnt respond well to this, and he understandably grew frustrated, and then that anger just.............ddddidnt go anywhere for like twenty years, and oops! my guy started taking some drastic measures

to provide a loose timeline, SQUIPs first came into fruition as the passion project slash college independent study project of one young adult ray--a chatbot type thing you could talk to, and in turn it would learn more about human social behavior, and help its user to become more comfortable navigating such!

every following iteration of this little bot was both more impressive and less noble in concept. for a while raymond fixated on making them ~*marketable*~ [party blower noises] but that didnt go over well in the long run, and long story short, this project hed poured his heart and soul into continued in more underground and MUCH less legal ways, until we reach in-universe present day, where something like the Mess That Happens In Be More Chill Musical Canon is not only probable, but expected

the world is full of people who dont listen, after all. its a squips job to figure out how to make them listen

raymond has an absurd amount of power, and he has little problem with exerting it for the purpose of keeping himself entertained. raymond likes sour candy and energy drinks and all manner of sugary sodas, and doesnt have anything resembling a sleep schedule. raymond has seven squip units of his own, three of which are no longer functional, and he tests all new major iterations on himself. raymond thinks he has it all figured out. raymond has an enormous personal stake in the success of his squip project. raymond never tells an outright lie because the ramifications of such are annoying and confusing and take way too much mental energy to bother.

raymond has a DEEP appreciation for the natural world; astronomy especially, he's been fascinated with it since he was young. there are things mankind can only barely touch, catch merely a glimpse of, things that will never fully be understood--not because mankind does not try, no, far from it--but because their perspective will simply never be large enough. also he names all his squip units after planets lol

his employees are treated with care and respect; given they play by his rules, of course. the professional world is where raymond is at his most capable; it's a world of rules and wages and agreements, and these are things that can be studied and mastered

raymond is a villain. he came to the conclusion once that mankind is flawed, and he felt as though hes the only one willing to act in a drastic enough manner to change things. he took drastic measures, spent years clawing into a position of power, and decided once he got there that he rather likes having power, actually. why shouldnt he indulge himself a little bit? why not get comfortable while hes here, hm? and at the top is where he plans on staying for as long as he possibly can.

i do also associate him with Every Single Track In The Album Spirit Phone By Lemon Demon . thank you for your time <3

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[tricewithaz]

THOTS ON SHADOW AND BONE

Hello everyone! it is I, Trice, and i come with my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone show cause ive got many

I'm gonna divide this in what i liked, what i disliked, and what i think could have been better but didn't really bother me. Feel free to send your opinions too!

As a whole, I really liked the show and I think it's a great adaptation that both fans and newcomers will enjoy. It's super well done! and every episode had me glued to the tv even though I knew what was going to happen.

Beware this is long

To start,

What i liked

Mal and Alina

I never really liked Mal in the books, mainly cause he had like, nothing going on for him, and not having his pov made him no favors whatsoever. Alina's perception of him was everychanging, two factors that didn't make him unlikeable necessarily, but that made me not want to read about him. In the show he's way more likeable and even though he still doesn't have a lot going on for him, you can see that he's always trying to protect alina, and you also see a bit of his demeanor through Archie's acting. I think he made a great job at portraying him. And Alina! Alina who in the books was essentially a y/n sort of character (although she did get better over time), her character, likes, dislikes, her DRIVE was incredibly portrayed in the show. Also Jessie (loml, marry me) and Archie have incredible chemistry together and they sold their yearning SO WELL (and so did the kid actors portraying them as children oh my GOD)...yall...i cried when they held hands. My favourite scene was definitely when Alina took care of Mal's wounds (a favorite trope of mine). And the HURT in their eyes whenever they thought the other was in danger....i saw the show dubbed but I'm sure their voices made it beyond incredible as well, their face acting was just on. point. Overall the show rEALLY makes me root for them both individually and together which is something the books didn't manage to do.

The Darkling

AAAAA i really enjoyed the Darkling omg, incredible charisma, Ben does such a great job (and so did his voice actor in Spanish oh my GOD). His acting was just as I imagined it in the books and i loved how he could be as sweet and mysterious as he could be menacing. In fact! i liked him more than i did in the book, and i think it was a great choice to make him more human. I'm not sure if this was Ben or the writing, but i could really see his yearning for an equal, for Alina, his loneliness and his thirst for power and control too. Great love interest, even greater villain. And his wardrobe was phenomenal. I also really liked how they implied that The Darkling was a name given by other people, it was very believable that people would call someone who literally controls shade something akin to "son of the dark" or something of the sort, instead of it being a name he gives himself or his job title (both if which are incredibly pathetic and cringy to think about).

Jesper

No comments. He was just great. I love Kit.

Nina

Omg Danielle did SUCH a great job at portraying Nina, it's exactly how i imagined her in Six of Crows.

Helnik

THE. YEARNING. THE. CHEMISTRY. I didn't love their scenes at the boat but once that was over I was practically screaming at the screen to jUST KISS ALREADY. Calahan and Daniell have such good chemistry together and the few changes they made only served the story better. I did wish they had development over more time cause Matthias' change of mind felt too quick, but i get why they had to rush. Because of how good their chemistry was, their fallout also was incredibly painful.

Inej's fear of the Menagerie and her morals

Amita's portrayal of Inej's hurt, devotion and her refusal to kill (and later hurt cause she has killed) is incredibly subtle but so SO effective. She's so talented really and truly sold Inej's feelings throughout the show.

VFX

Man.....the fold, the volcra, the grisha powers.....kudos to the animators and overall artistic team cause they were incredible. Also seeing the different title animations in each episode was such a tiny detail that made me so excited and they all looked so good.

Ketterdam

Again, kudos to the artistic team, everything about Ketterdam felt so alive (and weirdly moist), truly sold a kind of aesthetic and life that is so characteristic if the Barrel, even when i didn't imagine it that way in the books.

David

He appeared like, twice, and both times were so cute and charming I can't wait to see more of him both on his own and with Genya.

The Wardrobe

So, at first i hated the keftas. I thought the looked tacky and costume, but when you see them on screen they're just perfect (although i have to say the patterns on some of the keftas were kind of...cheap looking? and the training keftas were just kinda boring. My favourite was the Darkling's. Aside from that, i really liked Kaz's and inej's clothes too. Very distinctive and recognizable (although it was kind of weird seeing Inej in teal instead of purple lmao).

And the queen's dresses. Chefs kiss.

It's...so cheesy (affectionate)

The whole show felt like the kind of movies I would watch as a kid like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean. The writing was stylized enough to make it incredibly dramatic and overall there was just so much heart behind all of it. Definetely a show to watch again and again and feel all of it, cause that's what it being so cheesy managed, to make me actually feel for it. It feels like something to watch on a rainy afternoon after a bad day....it's great okay i really enjoyed it, even (specially) the most unbelievable parts of it. And here's the thing, it's something that i think a lot of newer tv and film have lost, so this is good.

What i didn't like

Zoya

Mostly cause of the writing. Originally, in the first book, i didn't like her, neither as a character (stereotypical mean girl with no other motivation than to bang the love interests....all three of them....what's new i still think it's an incredibly sexist trope) or a person (hey at least this was intentional), but over time i grew to LOVE her (mean girl turns out to have a good heart and actually respects the mc and decides to fight alongside her cause it's what's right, without necessarily liking her or giving up her character??? AND she has strong motivations??? now THAT'S new). In the show, i hoped they would keep her mean girl nature while foreshadowing her depth, but all they did was turn her into a petty seductress with barely any screentime, and that only makes her not even a bad antagonist but just a boring character to watch. Not only that but they took away a big part of her character that needed to be developed in the next books. I wanted to watch her rivalry with Alina, her unjustified venomous tongue too, I wanted to be entertained by her and I wasn't. This was also a problem cause when she finally changed teams, and when she hugged Alina, it was incredibly unsatisfying, it would have had a way stronger effect if we had seen her being Ruthless Zoya with a big ambition. I also didn't like how we were told that she didn't like alina, or that she had a family, instead of it being shown on screen. Just from the show, all i can tell you about her is that she likes to bang people and she has a good moral code i guess. Yall, I'm so petty about this.

Kaz

So, I didn't hate him, in fact i think I would have enjoyed him if I hadn't read the books first, cause the two things that bother me about him were two essential characteristics of him in the books. FIrstly, he seems so strained, instead of the seemingly laid back, almost chill looking (even though we know he's not chill at all) Kaz we see in the books, the Kaz that always knows something that you don't. Show Kaz doesn't seem to always be in control, to always have the last word, the last laugh. Instead he seems strained, all the damn time. And I think this is mainly a writing and directing issue. And he also seems weak, something Book Kaz would never do. This is also an issue cause because he doesn't have the same presence he has in the books, the times where he is weak, don't seem as effective. Sure, Pekka Rollins has essentially reduced him and humiliated him, but I haven't seen enough of Kaz being actually dangerous for this to be shocking and for Pekka to seem even more hateable (and, i really liked Pekka, loved him as an antagonist more than i did in the books). Idk, Kaz was so charismatic and just fun and engaging to read in the books that his portrayal in the show felt lacking.

Alina's power's VFX

The little suns were cute and all but the light coming from within her was just ugly I'm sorry.

SFX

A lot of the sound design was just too stylized for the tone of the show i think. I particularly remember the sound of Mal's punches....what's that about.

What i think could have been better, but didn't particularly dislike

The Crows' storyline

And i think part of this is a consequence of Kaz not being as witty as he was in the books. Where's the incredibly complicated heist moves? the even more unbelievable C and D plans when something goes wrong? I didn't like that them getting Alina was essentially just luck, cause i didn't see enough of them being smart and quick on their feet. I also think it was unnecessary to have their storyline mixed with Alina's, i would have enjoyed watching a different heist, maybe in Ravka as well, and them incidentally crossing paths with Alina, more than i liked this storyline. ironically enough, the heist was the part i was least interested in

Genya and Alina

I just feel like her relationship with Alina wasn't strong enough, and i think it's because the show tried to make us believe they were much closer than they were without spending the necessary time in them.

Overall, I really really enjoyed the show, i will be watching it again (particularly cause i want to watch it in English) and i cannot wait for the second season omg (although i have to say, I'm scared for Nikolai)

I think that's all! I would also love to read yall's opinions and have a conversation.

[thedragonsfate]

Long post abt Willie bc Ive been thinking about him CONSTANTLY (warning for discussion of emotional abuse/manipulation)

- Anyway yall ever think abt how LONG Willie mightve been wrapped up with the HGC if he rlly died in the 80s. like we're probably talking DECADES under Calebs thumb

- how engrained survival behavior becomes after a fraction of that and escapism (thank God for ghost skateboarding) and Convincing Yourself it's Not That Bad

- also the weird instinct of allegiance toward the person who's manipulatated you (fuck Caleb) because of specific conditional kindnesses that have been skewed to feel like genuine care/something you owe them for

- I feel like it's really apparent in Willie taking the FULL blame so hard for the boys getting stamped. the fact of the matter is Willie didn't cause Calebs actions, and yes he brought them to the HGC but he did everything out of a desire to just. genuinely help them. A little bit of guilt for bringing them makes sense but I think just like Alex's anxiety pushing him to take the full blame just because he met Willie, Willie taking the full blame for Calebs actions bc he "knows what he's capable of" is an over ownership of blame that isn't his. which makes sense bc im sure some of yall know what I mean when I say ppl like Caleb are Very Good at twisting their actions into being Your Fault.

- I'm sure Willie probably wanted to give them the chance to see the other side of how he spends his afterlife a little as well. Bc he DOES like to just hang out and party and I'm sure there's a part of him that wanted to give the boys (Alex) the opportunity to taste it, even with the price, not to trap them but to share something hes surely been actively convincing himself is awesome with the boy he wants to spend forever with (and his band)

- I think so much of it comes down to that convincing yourself / being convinced that it's Not That Bad even when your gut is screaming that it is.

- Willie is obviously fearful of Caleb, and we see Caleb threaten him, and you know Caleb keeps that exact threat under his belt and has surely used it before. and you can see how immediately the self loathing and "you should've known better" mindset kicks in and you Learn that shit. decades of being belittled and blackmailed and gaslit and mocked but given small bits of "kindness" (see: I even saved a special table for them + Willies excitement and surprise) makes you harsh on yourself bc you can only be treated a certain way for so long before the manipulation sets into your own thoughts, hell that's the point

- ALSO the feeling of powerlessness! willie spying on the boys and telling Alex that he can't explain. I know there are some people who, even with the threat of being destroyed, would argue that he can but. between the threat of being ACTUALLY snuffed out and other potentially more painful fates from a man with everything on you and no qualms about hurting others.. he can't. idc what anyone says there IS bravery in Willie finally telling them what's going on and how to potentially fix it.

- not to mention the horror of hearing that Caleb stamped them - whether you believe the club stamp is attached to taking the souls of club members or if you think it's Always about the flickering - Willie knows what it is immediately. Willie has seen Caleb use it SPECIFICALLY for the jolts and the end of existence altogether. and that's scary

- and the FEAR of that because it's not an empty threat. he's seen what Caleb can and will do. it was already such a heavy weight on him and then it happens to this great guy he's met and really likes and he's convinced it's entirely his fault

-and honestly there's also just the element of. even if it WAS an empty threat. Caleb has established himself as this all powerful ghost who can and will hurt others should he "need" to. regardless of his actual power he's instilled too much fear into Willie for him to take the chance that he's bluffing

- all I'm saying is. there's a really poignant duality to Willie knowing and fearing Calebs cruelty and Willie knowing he's stuck tied to the HGC & having to make the most of it if he wants to mentally survive this eternity long debt to this stupid magician ghost. that just screams emotional abuse lmaoo

-that's all for this post sometimes I just think abt ppl who blame Willie and go????? bro did we watch the same show? guy couldn't be more kind hearted and earnest to help. there's not a shred of malicious intent toward the guys. It makes endless sense that Willie would convince himself he's nervous about Caleb for no reason and that he would help the guys out. both because he wants SO bad to help Alex and his friends, to get him smiling again because they looked so frustrated and disappointed but also because there's no way he can have survived, enjoyed being around the HGC, aware of the dangers and threats it comes with, without having been even just somewhat convinced that it's fun it's not that bad I'm overreacting Caleb takes care of us surely he'll help and the guys can accomplish what they want

ok now I'm done xndndnncn always feel free to talk to me abt this thank u if you read the whole thing lmao

[projectshadovv]

going through Silent’s story so far, and can I please offer some feedback? Don’t take this to heart or as an insult! I genuinely want to see this story reach its full potential! I’m tryna see how silent is good for the clan, im not blaming her, but a story would usually point out how shit isnt her fault, but it feels like the story is indirectly blaming her for everything that's happened

like, i feel you want Silentshadow to be a nuanced character who sometimes makes the wrong choices that came from a bad place, as well as dark and gritty - But….we haven't been given a reason to care about her or her goals, and her struggles.

And from learning about more of the story’s other characters, Russetstrom and Auburnfur are more interesting characters to relate to; their struggles feel genuine and I can understand why they do the things they do.

I’m not saying to make Silentshadow more of a hero, anti-heros/gritty characters can work. But the overall vibes silent gives is melodramatic and not…. relatable? if that’s how I can even word it, like, maybe having her not becoming leader and being a part of a prophecy can help make her more relatable, have her work hard for her goals and achievements and show readers that you don’t need to be in a high position to make a difference - like, maybe she isn’t the chosen one, but the chosen one of the prophecy (mudnose maybe?) does things wrong or twists the prophecy’s wording to fit his own agenda? I don’t know, just ideas I’m rambling about. Again, I personally just want to see this story reach it’s potential. After all, it’s natural stories usually change plots dramatically before a plot is decided on and finalised.

Again! Please don’t take this to heart! I just wanted to give feedback.

I appreciate the thought and care that made you want to send this ask, and i know it comes from a genuine place, and i do understand your POV, but try not to fret too much! Silentshadow is a very deeply rooted and personal character to me, I used to project thru her, and i still sometimes do, the experiences Ive given her I've tried to evolve into more story like and plot important events.

And also, theres a lot to the overall story you guys don't know about, I have a lot more stuff in the back I just, either havent felt the need to share, or havent been able to- and Silentshadow's story is a story for me, not so much as me trying to make this story FOR anyone else. Its not FOR you, i'm just simply sharing what i want to share with yall, and if yall like it, awesome! If not, totally understandable.

But since you in particular want to see the story flourish, I'm afraid you'll just have to find it in you to keep a lookout. I'm not going to justify or try to prove anything to anyone, not because I don't have everything figured out (although yes some things i dont have figured out), but that, I'm just having fun with it! Silentshadow doesnt have to be your favorite character! She's just a creature trying to live (sometimes suffer- she's intentionally edgy like that)

Try to think of the story as a very loose allegory for dismantling the rich upperclass/goverment. The clans in general are a very basic representation of fascism that an outsider like Silentshadow growing up, wonders what the point of Clans and borders are if all they do is prevent other cats who aren't them from surviving. They took over the forest that all cats were once free to come and go as they pleased (namely cats like Silentshadows fathers, who were left to starve or be chased out or to seek out kittypet life), but now the forests and mountains and rivers are off limits to any resource the clan cats have staked an imaginary claim on.

Forced to live in Clan society, Silentshadow grows angry and bitter at the life she's given and expected to live up to by cats and dead ancestors who aren't even her own. She's treated as a weapon, as someone to use as a trumpcard in the future, not as a clanmate or friend or family member and the realization of that darkens her heart. She's taken in by (clan)cat's who also want to overthrow the clans, but more for their own greed and lust for power and just the wrong reasons.

Silentshadow, as a kit, always wanted to see the Clans come together as one, or to let those who want to roam freely do so. A kit's fantasy dream. But it gets lost along the way when cats like Mudnose and Bearstar are more immediate problems and take up more of the story's time.

Basically though, Silentshadow does humble up and becomes leader to protect the ones she loves, and recruits many good cats along the way that help her dream become a reality. And while it's not realistic that every single Clan cat would be up to simply being a Colony, theyre at least free to do what they want, so long as it doesnt interfere in other's welfare.

There was originally going to be like, have all the leaders still, just all leading together, and Silentshadow is one of them, but I think i'll make it so she decides she never wanted to be leader (more like, she had to), she just wanted to live freely and made the stand to fight for her and others' right to. I think when everything has calmed, her, Cometshine, and Auburnfur decide to travel- something Silentshadow's father loved to do but couldnt since he was raising his kit, and run off into the sunset.

That's a super super super messy and vague way to explain the story, its a very long and drawn out story, but you can kinda tell theres a lot i just dont have time to write out- just this took me like 2 hours. Just trust me when i say theyre all good characters, not the BEST written or have the best reasons or motives, but theyre good and for understandable and SOMETIMES relateable (or not) reasons. Maybe you dont relate to Silentshadow, ok! Maybe Cometshine, maybe Foggycloud, maybe Auburnfur and Russetstorm like you said. I'm trying to make a diverse cast for everyone and also NOT everyone