#yall cannot be normal about this man

[kishiqo]

y'all have to got to realize that the autism comes from somewhere

[waltzing-rats]

HELLO THERE i am taking a break from the Mob Psycho asks to absolutely GUSH about this opm fanfic i just caught up with by @mistakeandcheese

Please mighty author take this fanart and some messy watercolor Badds i did yesterday this was one of the most fun fics ive read in a while

[undefeatablesin]

In other news, I finally acquired my Platinum trophy for LoP today and I feel deeply accomplished lmao ✨

[standamianwayne]

yandere!batfam/damian’s twin!reader

cw: mentions of death + murder, implied creepy men being creepy men, damian loves his sissy idk what to tell yall

an excerpt, from a certain Damian Wayne’s journal—

“—my sister. One of us would become the heir to the League of Assassins. What would happen to the other, I cannot say as I never found out. We were both perfect. The genes of Talia al Ghul mixed with The Batman— there was no question one of us would be ruling one day. It was only a matter of who got here first.

She was born only a matter of minutes before me. If everything went to plan, she’d rule over the League and I, she had promised me when we were children, would be right beside her. Growing up, she was always trained just a little harder for a little harder. She was praised just a bit heavier, as well as disciplined harsher.

I pitied her some days, others I was much more bitter. Bitter at her, hardly. I was bitter angry with others around us. We’d be studying together, and she’d be pulled away. We’d be training together, and she’d be pulled away. Any time we were together, she was pulled away from me. I look back and wish I had attempted to keep her by my side. Alas, she was going to rule over the League, so I had no other choice than to let her go.

One day, I overheard some guards speaking about us. She’s supposed to be the heir, “but she’s too soft,” one of them said. It gave me pause. My sister was nice to me, though that definition must differ from those here in Gotham (monsters, I remember them calling us). Was she nice to everyone? Was she hesitant to kill? I had yet to see my sister in action, but I knew her. Much more than they did. She was fond of the arts and animals, but she was as assassin regardless of what those guards said. The thought lingered for a few more days, each morning I thought over it even more.

She was not ‘too soft’ I decided. My sister, my twin, the other half of my soul. No, I thought, she was not soft at all. She was sweet, she smiled at others without a hint of mockery or deception. She made sure I was alright after missions, kept up with our studies, ate sufficiently. She was not too soft— she was simply kind.

To the others in the League, that was seen as weak.

I never asked mother about these labels. Perhaps I feared what it meant for my sister. After all, if she could not take over the League due to this ‘weakness,’ what good was she? Would she be forced to harden? Would she be exiled? These scenarios haunted me for many nights. I could never see myself without her. A world without my sister by my side will never be a world I wish to live in.

In a way, I was relieved when we were sent to live with Father. A place, a haven almost, where I did not have to fear my sister leaving me. Maybe here she would be accepted as she was. I had no care for how others saw me. As long as I was not looked down upon, I was indifferent to any impressions one may have of me. With my sister, however, I simply wished she would be treated as normal. To me, she was is an angel, and I was content with being the only one to see that, so long as she was not seen negatively.

The people of Gotham judged us quickly. Father introduced us to his colleagues at some gala, and the news spread quickly. We were born out of wedlock, children of an affair, children of a prostitute, children of a stranger. We were beautiful, angry, exotic, disgusting. We were monsters, though perhaps the fault of that label falls on me (I had punished a man for speaking to her in a manner so disgusting he should be glad he is not dead).

She was weak back in the League, too soft. Here, she was scary, too mean. She was honest and blunt, yes, but she smiled at them. Did they not know what that meant? In Gotham, killing at all made you horrible. In the League, killing quickly made you kind, made her ‘weak.’

My sister and I grew up, and the rumors dwindled down. Nobody knew who our mother was outside of those Father trusted with the information (which was very few). My sister, already perfect, became even more beautiful. Sickeningly so. I hated when a male our age spoke to her, but I let him do so as I knew she wouldn’t mind. She enjoys talking to others freely, about anything other than death.

There was no feeling comparable to when I would see a man speaking with her. One much older than us, who had known her for years. I saw the leering, the flittering of eyes from her eyes to her mouth and then lower. It is comparable to lava burning hot in my veins. I wanted to snap their necks, rip their eyes out, claw at their faces until I saw bone. I wanted to kill them.

I do not doubt our other siblings felt the same. I’m sure even Father thought of it a few times. I hardly spoke to some of them, even then I knew one thing, one person, was keeping us together. I would do anything to keep her safe, happy. I would burn down the world if she asked. I know I am not the only one.”

happy new year 😛 thank you for the support, bye byeee ❤️

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[m0chis-cafe]

Can I request twisted wonderland first years or dorm leaders react to mc who have a small exhibitionist habit (but not in an extreme way).

Like the characters are going to a beach and mc just wears a unbutton white blouse that exposed their cleavage and without wearing a bra.

I'm sorry if this request is uncomfortable for you

your so good, i may have strayed a little from the original request, but i actually love this😚

housewardens reactions to more skin showin.. ⋆⑅˚₊

'i cant stop lookin at her t-t-t-t-face!'

word count: 3k

warnings: more so leaning towards feminine reader, more so just saying that your chest is more exposed but that can be seen either way (all of them think your the hottest thing in the world, cause yk, u are duh) suggestive (no nsfw), sitting in lap, swearing, leona being suggestive and the little freak he is, all of them are a bit handsy, cuddling

characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, and malleus

riddle rosehearts🌹

-tries to be so calm, but his face is bright red

-this is gonan be a real difficult unhappy birthday for him with you wearing a low cut and open formal wear (a dress or button up, whatever you guys prefer<3)

-ace and catter get on his ass about how flustered he gets (usually when his face is this red hes about collar someone..)

-yells at ace when he inevitably tries to make flirty remarks, even though its just to rile him up

-tries to play resonsible and collected housewarden in front of the others.. but he loves it

-physically cannot make a move or comment because hes too nervous, would keep his hand in yours or on you in some way just cause hes glad your his (ur so nice lookin)

when ace had suggested that you and the main group from heartsyble took a trip to the beach, it was a excuse to finally go swimming. finals had been stressing you all out and with a little persuasion from you, riddle was ok with a beach day reset.

that's how you got here, laying on a towel under a beach umbrella talking to cater about your guys magicam feeds as riddle and trey horribly beat ace and deuce at a game of beach volleyball.

after a while riddle called cater over to take his place, he walked over and sat next to you. as you glanced over you saw he was more rigid than normal, "you ok riddle.." you set a hand on his shoulder and he jumped. "y-yes! im completely fine" you spoke quickly and turned his face away from you.

your eyebrows scrunched as you sat up, placing a hand on his jaw and turning his face towards you, you almost laughed once your realized how red his face was, "oh my.. did they first years make you upset?" you noticed his eyes widen before flicking to your chest and back up to your eyes quickly, realization dawned on your face as you smiled at him, "seriously?"

he groaned and leaned forward, resting his forehead on your bare shoulder, "its not my fault, you look really good, my rose" he mumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. you giggled, running a hand through his bright rose colored locks, placing a kiss on his head, "thank you, love".

leona kingscholar🦁

-could not care less

-i mean he does, but hes so nonchalant about it

-hes not nervous or anxious, he openly makes sly comments the whole time about how good you look (little shit thinks its just for him)

-constantly keeps a hand on your thigh, around your waist, resting on your hip, this man doesnt care he will show to everyone your his if yall are in public

-so grabby..

-will make you lay with him/on him while he takes a nap

you sat in savanaclaw, as usual most days where you ended up after classes. typically leona would already be with you, dragging you to his room right after classes so he could nap in his own room with his partner. but today he got dragged to a housewarden meeting by ruggie, so that left you waiting in his room for him to come back.

what youd never understand was why it was always so hot here.. you get its a dessert but the heat is ridiculous considering they have magic. the heat caused you to wear less than normal, shorts and a lose top that was leonas that slid down and showed collarbone and parts of your chest.

you layed sprawled across his bed, trying to beat the heat by scrolling on magicam, stalking caters perfect page. your scrolling was interrupted by his door opening, looking up to see leona striding his way in and slamming the door behind him. he crawled onto his bed and leaned over you, "been waiting long herbavore?"

you shook your head, smiling as you leaned up to peck his lips "not at all.. just hot as fuck" he smirked, letting out a low chuckle as he flopped down next to you, "yeayea, i know, you sensitive humans"

you slapped his chest, flipping over to set your chin on his chest to glare at him, "its not my fault, its always so-" you were cut off as leona captured your lips with his, holding your hips. you groaned and rolled your eyes while kissing him back, annoyed at being cut off.. this little shit.. when you pulled back he was smirking, "whats that for? miss me or something?".

he let out a small 'tsk', pulling your hips to straddle his waist. you smiled and leaned down, crossing your arms on his chest and resting your chin on your arms, "you know i did, you also happen to be wearing my shirt, and showing a little more than usual herbivore.. was it just for me?" he smirked at his own words, laughing as your face flushed and you hit his bicep, "leona-!"

azul ashengrotto🫧

-he knew something was up when the twins were acting shady all day (more so than normal)

-the monstro lounge had an event that night and the twins had gotten you a uniform with more skin showing, saying it was for the theme

-doesnt know what to do with himself, locks himself in the VIP lounge for a majority of the time cause hes just sat there with his head on his desk, completely red faced

-this poor man is rocked to his core when he does come out, and floyd wont let up on fucking with him

-"dont you think shrimpy looks good boss?" than suddenly the twins turned to an only child (JOKING)

"floyd, can you lay off his for like two seconds" you scolded, arms crossed over your chest as you watched azul walked away from floyd and back towards the VIP lounge. ever since they put you in this stupid revealing uniform for tonights event floyds been tugging on azul, constantly. "c'mon shrimpy.. its funnyy~" he teased as he leaned onto your shoulder.

you rolled your eyes at him, shoving his elbow off your shoulder, "jade, watch him" you spoke behind you as you made your way back to the VIP lounge, back to his office to check on him.. these idiots are trying to kill him

you knocked on the door before hearing a small 'come in', cracking open the door to his office you saw azul sat at his desk. hand tangled in his hair as his elbow leaned on his desk, the other hand holding a pen that was frantically scrawling across an agreement paper he was working on,, guaranteed trying to rope another first year into a deal.

your lips quirked into a small smile as you shut the door and locked it, no way in hell were you letting the twins fuck with him more tonight. you walked to his desk, sitting in the chair opposite of him, "you seem stressed az..". you almost laughed at how hard his head snapped up when he realized it was you.

"ah- hello angelfish.. h-how are you?" you quirked an eyebrow at his words, leaning back in your chair as you watched his eyes flash between your chest and eyes, "your playing this real calm". he groaned and buried his face in his hands. you rolled your eyes before walking to his side of the desk standing between his legs, pushing aside the documents on his desk before sitting on the desk in front of him.

he kept quietly groaned as he rested his head in your lap, arms wrapped around your hips, "those stupid shady twins, im gonna kill them.. theyre on busser for a month.. they did this.." he mumbled almost incoherently into your uniform. you just sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "ah yes.. cause your absolutely hating this.." you remarked to his complaints. "maybe i wouldnt mind it if it was just for me.. you look good angelfish..", you giggled at his response "just for you next time, promise"

kalim al asim💧

-hes so energetic about it

-our favorite golden retriver

-will hype you up the whole time yall are at the dorm, the second you walked out in slightly more revealing clothes.. he was all over you

-hugging you, kissing your cheek, he doesnt care, he just thinks you look so good

-jamil is so over hearing him talk about you (he secretly grateful you take some things off his plate.. hed never say that though)

-would proably be at a dorm party that he was throwing

you were in the kitchen talking to jamil about your classes, asking him about his family- this was a normal occurrence between you two. both of you tended to stay in the shadows while kalim stayed in the light before everyone.

as you sat on the counter, trying samples of the food he was making for the dorm party, you heard the door to the kitchen slam open, "where have you guys been?" he ran over to you, standing between your legs, "i missed you so much.. and you look so good!", a big smile covered his face as his hands slipped around your hips, his lips placing quick kisses on your cheeks.

you giggled, playing with the hair at the base of his neck, "i was just keeping jamil company.. do you want me to come out with you?". he just shook his head, leaning forward to lean on your chest as he spoke, "nah, i know you guys like the quiet.. id like to see you afterwards though.. you look very nice". you knew he was being a little extra clingy cause you were showing more skin today.. it was nice though.

you smiled at his compliment, noticing a small blush on his cheeks as he pulled away from your chest. you opened your mouth to speak before you saw a wooden spoon hit kalims head, he winced and held the back of his head, "jamil~". you looked past kalim and saw the vice with his arms crossed on his chest, "stop being freaky with the prefect in my kitchen". you giggled as he turned away from you, suddenly whining to jamil about how pretty you were while he just stood there looking unimpressed.. these boys

vil schoenheit🧺

-he couldnt care less (like hes not possessive about it like leona would be, he absolutely does care tho)

-will show skin with you lowkey

-helps you pick out the outfit that shows skin

-he loves it when others think his partners attractive (power couple who?)

-would break his own rules just to stay with you longer

-yall would be getting ready for an event together thats for vils modeling jobs

-(almost dont make it to the event)

you sat at his vanity, touching up your makeup (still gender-nuteral kids, whatever you prefer) as he got changed. whipping a hand to the corner of your lips as you saw his reflection come to vision in the mirror behind you. his outfit had his collarbone and a bit of his chest out, similar to yours..

you smiled, moving a piece of your hair out of your face and pinning it back "vil.. my love, are you trying to match with me?" he feigned shook, a hand on his almost bare chest, "i would never poison, who do you take me for?"

you rolled your eyes at his theatrics as you stood, standing before him as you looked up. wrapping your arms around his shoulders, "ok maybe i was trying to match. can you blame me? you look divine.." you rolled your eyes at his flattery, brushing a stray hair from in front of his eyes. as your hand was coming down he caught it in his, pulling your knuckles to his lips.

he placed a kiss to your knuckles, keeping eye contact with you as he left a small red mark behind on your hand, "would it be that much of a shame to miss this event..". you looked at him unimpressed, leaning up to peck his cheek, "yes, yes it will.. and your manager will kill me" you attempted to reason with him as you turned away.

before you could get far you felt his grab your wrist, puling you back into his chest. his fingers brushed under your chin, making your eyes meet his, "we can be a little late though" you rolled your eyes while smiling, giving into him, "fine.. a little late." you mumbled before pushing your lips to his.. (yall got yelled at so bad for being 30min late)

idia shround🎧

-are you trying to set the ignyhide dorms on fire?

-are you trying to set yourself on fire?

-are you trying.. alright ill stop

-nah seriously though, it was a thoughtless decision

-it was just hanging around his dorm with him playing video games in pjs and you didnt even think about it

-man is gonna pass out with like an anime nosebleed type shit

-does it matter that you guys have been together for so long and hes actually normal and comfortable around you? nope. hes fine until he realizes how much skin is out

-would never admit it out loud.. but he loves it

you walked into his dorm room, pj pants and hid hoodie on top, "idiaa.. what we playing tonight?" you questioned as you flopped onto his bed getting out your switch. you looked up to see him locked into the game he was already playing before you got there, rolling your eyes you starting playing your own game. a comfortable silence covered you two as it did most nights.

after a while it started to get hot in his room.. i swear its his hair.. you set down your switch and slipped his hoodie over your head, a tank top on underneath. you rolled your head, yawning as you glanced at his clock, 1:27 it read, shit it was late already.

you knew it was smart to go back to rhamshackle soon, but you wanted to spend some time with your boyfriend before that. you stood from his bed, walking to be behind his chair, your body sluming forward. your arms fell around his shoulders, laying on his chest as you tucked your head into the crook of his neck, "idia.." you mumbled, placing small kisses on his pale neck, "i gotta go soon.. cmere"

he jumped slightly at your kisses, his hand coming up to rest on yours, "i-i didnt relize it was so late.." he finished up his raid with you wrapped around the top half of his body. when he was done he got up to switch off his light, following you to his bed so you guys could lay down together for a bit before you left.

he got under his covers, opening his arm for you to lay on his chest. you quickly look his offer, laying your head on his chest, your arm laying across his waist, and your leg hooking onto his. you hummed at his warmth as his arm wrapped around your waist.. only than did he realize that he could feel your.. bare skin? once the realization set in that you were wearing a tank top he froze, blushing profusely, "you- you didnt say you were- i- this is boss level actions-" his hair flared slightly at his words as he buried his face in your hair, he cant handle all that without warning (your too fine)

Malleus draconia🐉

-is so excited

-smiles so brightly as you stand by his side

-lilia happily watches as he spins you around and shows you off to him, silver and sebek

-happens during a little picnic he planned for you

-he got distracted staring at your chest a couple times.. not in like a creepy way though, in a, he doesnt realize its bad and thinks hes just admiring his partner way

you giggled as you stumbled a little, malleus hands covering your eyes as he guided you to a 'surprise', "are we almost there mal..". he didnt say a word as you guys stopped walking and he let his hands drop from your eyes, resting on your hips as he stood behind you.

your eyes widened as you took in the scene, a picnic blanket and foot set out under a tree in the gardens of diasmonia dorm. fairy lights hung from the surrounding trees. you turned to face him and were faced with a small wrapped bouquet of your favorite flowers, you took them slowly as you looked up at him, "mal.. this-this is perfect" you reached up, cupping his jaw and pecking his cheek.

he smiled softly, his hands resting on your waist, "only the best for you beloved.. you look perfect". you smiled up at him, resting your head on his chest as you hugged him.

after your thanks were over he moved you guys to the blanket, sitting across from each other. you went back and forth trying the different foods he brought and talking about your guys weeks. as you were talking about your potions class with silver you noticed his eyes continue to wander between your eyes and chest.. you leaned forward and waved a hand in front of his eyes lightly, "you ok? you seem.. out of it", you let your hand fall to hold his in his lap.

as you looked up you were shocked, you never thought youd see a day where you made him flush, but here it was. you locked eyes with him as it registered that he was blushing. your malleus was blushing. his eyes widened at you calling him to attention, his hand squeezing yours as he avoided your gaze quickly, "y-yes. im quite alright beloved.. i didnt think id be so affected by you this evening is all."

you let out a laugh at his words, "im yours mal, your aloud to look when i dress up for you." he nodded at your words, "i see.." you rolled your eyes, smiling as he brought your hand up to his lips to brush a kiss to the top of your hand. he kept your hand up as he looked at you, "does this mean i am aloud to request that you wear that top more often..". you flushed at his words (back to normal), "of course mal.."

[i-cant-sing]

Okay okay, I have another idea-

Yandere dad Nanami x Nanami reader

I've made yall see the menace Fushiguro reader who we all love and adore, but let's talk about Nanami's daughter who is an absolute angel and polar opposite to Fushiguro reader.

Child reader is just the most well behaved kid, listens to her father always, and since Nanami is raising her, she's also going to be very good in her studies because papa Nanami is a very good teacher. I mean, reader is definitely on top of her class and has a whole wall dedicated to her awards and medals. She just has to show off her math skills when she plays cafe (because obv she's gonna be a baker who bakes fresh bread daily for Nanami to buy and make sandwiches) and uses Monopoly money.

And when I say reader is polite, that is the understatement of the history. She just cannot bear to offend anyone! She has to put "-san" with everyone's name and has to address them correctly. "Yuji-san! Megumi-San!" And "pervert-San!" Which is Gojo, because of course Nanami has told her to beware of him and only address him as "pervert-san".

"But my name's Gojo!" He tells you, but you're so distressed because dad told you to call the white haired man wearing a blindfold/glasses "pervert-san" and it'd be rude to address him as anything else!

And Nanami adores his kid so much. She's such a perfect child, never breaks rules (don't talk to strangers or Pervert san.) and is such a goody-goody. He is a present father, he makes time for you. The Jujutsu sorcerers can wait, the world can be saved by someone else, but he needs to attend your school play at all costs. And even when hes not around for the day, he has raised you to be a very responsible child- like you even go get the groceries on your own when dad is late! (Like that Japanese show in which they send kids to shop on their own)

But of course, there are times when he needs to be away for longer periods, so he needs to hire a babysitter. His top choices: Shoko(although hes a little hesitant since you have a morbid curiosity learning and Shoko would happily let you accompany her to the morgue), Yuta, Maki, Megumi + Yuji + Nobara.

Who is NEVER allowed to babysit you? Gojo.

Gojo babysits anyway. (He fr steals you from Megumi trio)

And Nanami just comes home to Gojo and reader eating takeout and he's just like "Y/n, how could you let Pervert san in your home and eat with him?" And reader's just on the brink of tears and is trying to defend herself "b-but you said to be polite to guests! And Pervert-san bought food for me. Wouldn't it be rude to not share it with him?" *reader's teary eyes* and then Gojo is like "you'd rather let your child starve? Can't you see how tiny she already is?!" *Gojo's teary eyes* and Nanami pops a vein "it's not cute when you do it!"And then kicks Gojo out of the house.

Even though reader can dress herself up appropriately, she still has to have her hair done by Nanami, no matter what age. At some point, reader probably realises that it's something Nanami needs more than she does. It's a tradition, you think, but it's actually a coping mechanism for Nanami to deal with the fact that you're "growing up" and don't ask him to watch cartoons with you or read you bedtime stories anymore🥺

And Sukuna??? He takes one look at you and he's already decided he's gonna be mean to you, but then the more time you spend with him and Yuji, the more he realises.... its just not worth being mean to the only person who is so sweet to him and actually greets and talks to him like he's an individual person and not just a parasite inside Yuji's skin. Like reader just goes "Sukuna-san! I'm painting Yuji-san's nails but he can't pick a color. Will you help?" And he's like "Alright, fuck it I'm taking this brat with me when I comit mass murder. She's safe."

I feel like Nanami will allow reader to have a fairly normal childhood, so he keeps his yandere tendencies at a bay. It's when you start growing up and as he says "the others try to taint you with momentary pleasures" that his yandereness begins to show. Honestly, it's just more of his protective tendencies coming to light than anything else. He thinks people don't have your best interests in and sometimes he's right, but how else will you learn if you don't experience it?

Also, if you do end up having cursed energy and the ability to see curses, I think that's when Nanami starts spiralling down. He does not want you to become a Jujutsu sorcerer, he wants you far far away from the Jujutsu world completely. He can't- he can't allow what happened to Haibrara happen to you. He can't allow your innocence and naivety to be tainted by the horrendous world of curses. He'd rather risk you hating him forever as he locks you away than allow you to put your life at risk for others.

You are his priority. Your safety is his priority. You'll understand in due time why he did what he did, so while his heart does break hearing you cry and beg to be let out of your room, he doesn't regret putting you in there one bit.

Nanami sighs as he continues prepping your dinner. Guess he'll have to add some crushed sleeping pills so that you don't get sick from crying your bodyweight out (or more like he can't bear to see you in such a pitiful state.)

God save the poor souls who do end up kidnapping you.

[classiccowboy]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow joe and his wife evie as they go through his football career.

series masterlist

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and others

evie: peaked at 0°

@alo @millyg

view all 829 comments…

user: winter cutie

> evie: ⛄️

lahjay10_: you know how to ride those things???

> evie: don’t be projecting your insecurities…

> lahjay10_: imma take that as a hell nah 🤣💀

user: wow looks cold

> evie: very observant of you. it was indeed cold.

alo: 🩵🩵🩵🩵

joeyb_9: snow princess. ❄️

joeyb_9: come home soon.

joeyb_9: and never leave me again.

> evie: i have a velcro hubby.

user: not joey missing his mommy 😉

> evie: PLEASE! I cannot do this. 😭

millyg: maybe getting drunk and skiing down a mountain was not our brightest idea. who’s going to tell joey that you sprained your ankle.

> evie: you apparently..

> evie: jb im okay i swear. its not that serious baby.

joeyb_9

liked by evie and others

joeyb_9: still having fun

view all 967 comments…

user: good to hear

user: @evie i thought we talked about the pink?

> evie: guys.. i’m sorry okay? sometimes when your man looks that good you’ve just got to take the chance.

> evie: what i mean is.. i was very distracted when he walked out in this.

> millyg: she’s literally just a girl yall.

user: we aren’t

user: as you should my guy!

evie: love you baby!

> joeyb_9: i love you pretty girl.

> evie: also.. it’s very much giving patrick star (iykyk)

user: blink twice if you are being held hostage

user: your stylist has you right

user: MVP fr

> evie: ‼️

evie

liked by bengals and others

evie: nashville 📍

view all 472 comments…

user: this game was so ?????

> evie: truly a roller coaster of emotions

user: i love ja’marr

> evie: i also love ja’marr

> user: weird thing to say about your mans bff

> evie: i think you’re the one making it weird. 🥴

joeyb_9: are you following me?

> evie: am i one of those girls that stalk their celebrity crush?

user: feels good to get a win. WHO DEY

> evie: yk what.. hell yeah!

user: rough game

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and others

joeyb_9: professional playmaker

view all 2,811 comments…

lahjay10_: 🎱 mile

user: sick play

user: what a dog

evie: my pookie king joey. ur so cool.

> joeyb_9: why do you do this to me???

> evie: love you pookie. 🤪

> user: this is great.

> user: so are we trading in jb for pookie???

> joeyb_9: pls don’t.

user: GOATED

bengals: SUPERMAN! 😤

user: mvp and it ain’t even close

evie

liked by joeyb_9 and others

evie: once upon a christmas..

view all 821 comments…

user: you skipped joes birthday.

> evie: i would never skip my baes birthday!

user: this is cute

lahjay10_: tell me why joe snowman is mute

> evie: he just skipped that part 🤣

> joeyb_9: in my defense i couldn’t focus because ja’marr and amelia were screaming at each other in the next room over mario cart.

> millyg: don’t bring me into this my snowman has a mouth…

> user: the kids are fighting

user: merry christmas to the burrows!

user: ev i love your slippers

user: i love that you so casually post your relationship. like it’s so normal?

> evie: it is normal????????

joeyb_9

liked by evie, sam_hubbard_, and others

joeyb_9: smooth operator

view all 2,551 comments…

user: smoothest operator in town

user: MVP

evie: sometimes babygirl is a 6’4 cincinnati qb, and that’s okay.

> joeyb_9: sometimes babygirl is my wife, actually no sometimes about it. love you babygirl.

> user: this is very important to me

> user: i fear i will never get over these two.

> user: they could never make me hate jovie

user: 🐐

user: all that to still miss the playoffs

evie

liked by bengals and others

evie: well, that’s all folks. #yearfive

view all 1,830 comments…

user: you are the ultimate wag

lahjay10_: you are the best of the best ev, always our biggest supporter.

> evie: love you j.

user: words can’t express how sad i am

joeyb_9: i’ll say it every time, i couldn’t do this without you. no matter how tough things get you always show me the bright side. you cheer for me even when i don’t deserve it. thank you for being you ev.

> evie: i’d support you even if you were the shittiest qb of all time. obviously that’s not true, you’re the best and anyone who thinks otherwise is just jealous. they know their wives would leave them for you.

> user: EV 🤣

> user: you always say the most out of pocket stuff I CANNOT!

> evie: okay so maybe i took it too far.. nobody’s wife is getting my husband. sorry not sorry.

user: get my guy a defense

user: the saddest send to the saddest season.

joeyb_9

liked by lahjay10_, and others

joeyb_9: Season to remember, sorry you won’t get to watch anymore. Year 5 in the books.

view all 8,640 comments…

lahjay10_: MVP LOADING

> evie: let them know mr 👑👑👑

user: continue to inspire, 9.

evie: it’s okay.. you’ll finish the story one day.

> joeyb_9: i know damn well..

> evie: okay, jokes aside.. i’m proud of you always jb. you are the most inspiring and resilient person i know. i’m lucky that i get to have you forever. love you more than words.

> joeyb_9: my wife. 🧡

user: chiefs were scared

user: it’s always a pleasure to watch you play

user: until next season joe!

evie’s stories..

[goldfades]

Omg omg omg I just thought about uconn wbb team with their manager on live moments. Can we get a headcannon or fic for this?

I like to think that despite being the manager, she is best friends with the team and tends to be with them (they totally didn’t pull her from her work cuz she works so much noooooo, not at all)

(^ this could also possible be why people are suspicious of she has something going on with one of the team members cuz she’s almost ALWAYS with them even outside of school and it’s to a point where ppl are like “um🤨 she’s around y’all a lot to JUST be a manager.”Just food for thought👀)

BUT IN THIS CASE, as i mentioned before we can’t expect manager-baby to be in tiktok’s and other videos and just (somehow) not being pulled into their live shenanigans.

BUT this is where people see a. just how done the manager is with the girls and b. THEIR PERSONALITY

I guarentee the girls always say how the manager is like “she’s very witty/sarcastic/a smartass/sweet/hyper.” and ppl at first are like “??? you mean that manager with a mean ass death stare?? no way.” And this is where the live moments come through.

You can really see how much she cherishes the team and her bond with them, and no matter how much they may bicker and tease eachother. They love one another.

There’s 100% a tiktok compilation of the manager being sassy/a smartass in lives you cannot convince me otherwise. Also I think manager has a MEAN ass side eye.

Along the sweetness you can also see how much they fuckin bicker.

“KK, you’re delulu with or without a man involved.”

KK: “Okay you’re off the live.” *shifts camera*

—-

“Paige you have the confidence of a much taller woman.”

Paige: “Bro I’m LITERALLY taller than you.”

“That’s what makes it more embarrassing.”

——-

Also, THE TEAM PULLS OUT MANAGERS SOFT SIDE!!!! Manager may be strict but is very sweet and loving. I also personally headcannon that they’re one of those people that call their friends pet names like “baby” “babes” “darling” “love” “sugar” “pumpkin” etc. on instinct cuz of their sweet nature. And it’s not like they’re TRYING to fluster people, it’s just what they do. Manager loves platonic love!!!! They’re also the girls safe place.

Manager can’t help but melt when it comes to the team because she just cares for them so much and they just easily take away her tough guy mask.

Also more rare clips of manager lowkey (high key) flirting with the team, which is something she tends to do off camera but sometimes slips out when the cameras rolling. (There’s 100% someone on the team that calls the manager their wife. The “yall argue like a married couple.” people)

-🐹

yes, nonnie!! manager is really close with the team because she's known them for so long and she spends sooo much time with them, it's kinda bound to happen

at first i feel like people would not like manager just because she's the friendilest (AT FIRST!!!!) but when they begin to make tik toks/do lives with her, everyone falls in love with her!!!!!!!

she's very much the glue of the team and like, she has a dynamic with everyone on the team. her and nika are like BEST friends, kk and her have a little/older sister dynamic, paige and her have an old married couple dynamic, so on and so forth. every loves a good dynamic so everyone just falls in love with her!!

oh my god, YES. she becomes a staple in UConn "fandom" bc like, she's just so iconic like??? there's like a million compilations of manager side eyeing people bc its sooo funny

the whole petname thing is SO real, thats also why people start to believe that she's dating one of the players😭😭 ALSO, when she meets fans and stuff, she will call them petnames (again cus it's like normal for her) and again people just fall in love w her

there are more random manager headcanons coming soon promise 🫶🏼

SEND MORE THOUGHTS, I LOVE READING THEMMMMM!!!!!!

[basicallyhenry]

I need to dissect TFP Optimus Prime's brain, i need to learn everything about him possible. Like ,, it's funny to see a clerk turn into a cool hero. Its hard to believe that transition. Do yall like think Optimus Prime would love Frank Sinatra because he would LOVE FRANK SINATRA, hes more of a smooth jazz and classical man and i love that about him. Wait wait wait hear me out he would read love novels, or just fiction in general.. maybe history too, hes such a nerd about history and i think he would be interested in human inventions in the past and the medivial times

like LOOK AT HIM, you cannot tell me hes not a history nerd. I mean he loves learning about the history about cybertron which is his planet he grew up in BUT HE WOULD LOVE EARTH'S HISTORY AND ITS INVENTIONS!! he will be interested on how smart and creative us humans are trust me.

Oh for Primus' sake take me away from this man i am not normal about him

LOOK AT HIS SMILE MAN UURGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[sssilverstoned]

spinback season ꩜ ln4

type: instagram/twitter au

It's your birthday, Lando would never miss it.

lily said: final part of this! i've got some drafts going on full length fics so i am excited to finish those up soon. thank you all for the warm welcome :)

part 1 part 2

yoursister posted a story 28 seconds ago...

yourusername posted a story 1 minute ago...

yourbestfriend posted a story 4 minutes ago...

Liked by alpinegoss, paddocktea, and 53,805 others

f1gossipcentral submission from a fan today in dubai:

y/n and lando in the club in dubai tonight!!!!! based on her post at a meal with a guy i thought she was with someone new, but it was 1000000% lando. they're still so in love, everything seemed so back to normal!!!! her best friend, sister, and other friends were in the section with them, it was so lovely to see!

user1 WHAT THE HELL?

user2 Oh I just know I missed a damn chapter

user3 YNLANDO TRUTHERS RISEEEEEE

user5 broke up just to be right back together...they just like us

user6: get back with your ex when the opportunity presents itself? yeah those my twins fr

user7 ok but in all seriousness, i hope everything's alright with them now

View more comments...

Liked by landonorris, yourmom, and 36,938 others

yourbestfriend My heart outside my body is 25! So much to celebrate, so let's do it forever. To so many more y/n/n!

yourmom Pretty girls!!! Keep having all of the fun

yourusername Where would I be without you :')

yoursister not hungover, more stable financially, with much more closet space yourbestfriend fair enough across the board

user1 She's such a good friend to her

user2 lando in the likes...don't start

user3 they're childhood friends, no? she played matchmaker for them user4 this gives me hope user5 commoners talking amongst themselves booooring

View more comments...

Liked by lilymhe, kyliejenner, and 2,166,968 others

tagged: lando.jpg

yourusername Quarter of a century on this planet and a lot of joy to show for it! Grateful for the people who make me, me. Here's to getting a bit older, wiser, and lotssssss of martinis

emmachamberlain happy birthday y/n! see you soon!

user1 LANDO.JPG?

matildadjerf Mwah! The prettiest bday girl

user2 This is crazy how are they all this pretty

user3 minding your business, being a girl's girl, and loving your man user4 her man is the photo cred on this photo so you might be right

user5 "the people who make me, me" babygirl you don't even gotta name names just let us know when he takes your last name

danielricciardo Dawww they grow up so fast

View more comments...

Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 1,682,938 others

landonorris The day you were born is my favorite holiday. I love everything about you, from the way you scrunch your nose when you eat something sour, to the way you wake up extra early on saturday's to get your favorite flowers from the farmer's market. You've been there for all my best memories, my hardest times, and through it all, I'm most thankful to be loved by you, y/n. 25 looks perfect on you.

user1 so mom and dad made up? lets mf go

user2 jaw on the floor knees on the pavement eyes bugged out my head at this you two are insane especially you

yourusername Thank you for dancing with me even when I step on your nice shoes

carlossainz55 be honest he cannot dance alex_albon at all

user3: I prayed on this btw yall are welcome

user4: Okay spin back! lemme text my ex real quick

View more comments...

[nightunite]

Sooooooo…how does that conversation with Konig go? That there’s a bun in the oven? 👀👀👀👀👀

Sincerely Agent L

🕵️‍♀️

I'm gonna take this ask and gently cradle it before destroying everyone with angst at some point, so here goes. With any luck this gets posted before the New Year, so let's all mentally hold hands and beg for a better 2025 because holy shit was 2024 rough. @itsa-me-lily @beloveds-embrace eat up yall

Konig cannot handle crying women. Despite growing up with both fists firmly latched onto his mama's skirts and an older sister who refused to give him peace, he never figured out how to respond to a woman sobbing that didn't end in them crying harder or turning to rage. The best responses he ever got were them crying themselves dry on his shoulder, all while he sat there offering platitudes that he felt were insincere despite wanting to provide comfort. This is why he feels a lead weight settle in his guts when he hears muffled sobs and sniffling coming from the cellar. It's late, everyone in bed (or supposed to be) and the barony still, candles dim if not extinguished. The only reason he was up this late was to have a soothing cup of tea, a mid-afternoon nap putting him behind schedule for the rest of the evening. Well no matter, as the 'man of the house' as his mama liked to joke, he would handle this. He grabs one of the nearby lanterns, glad the candle inside is still lit, and opens the door, the sobbing growing louder without the barrier- Oh. It's his ricke. She's curled up on the floor, face damp with tears as she wipes at her nose, looking up at him in shock. "Mein liebling, what has happened? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?" He's checking her over, eyes scanning for even the faintest trace of blood or bruising. His overprotective nature has only grown since she began to show, the fear of anything happening to her outweighing his anxieties about being too bold in entering her space. "No, no it's just-" She cuts herself off, hiccuping and taking in a shaky breath, starting to hyperventilate. "Breathe, mein sonnenchein, you need to breathe." Konig gently grasps her hand, pressing it to his chest to encourage her to breathe with him. His pulse is steady underneath, and his heat passes through the fabric of his nightshirt to warm her fingers. It takes a few minutes, the two of them sitting in the dimly lit room surrounded by stores of food, breathing together. When she's back to normal, he gently pulls her hand away from him but continues to hold it. He fishes out the handkerchief he always keeps in his pocket, sending thanks to his mama and sister for forcing him to always carry one as a child, and gently tilts her head into the light. Lightly wiping away her tears, he asks her again "What happened, mein ricke? You were so happy this morning?" (It's a startling contrast, how euphoric she had been this morning. A tint to the apples of her cheeks, her eyes alight as she came bounding into his office. He was seated at his desk and checking his ledger, ensuring the staff would receive a nice pay for the holidays, especially as a handful were briefly returning home to handle personal affairs. His lumber yard was doing well this season, keeping his coffers plenty fat with coin. "Lord Konig, the baby is kicking! Would you like to feel?" Before he could respond, she had already grabbed his massive paw of a hand, her dainty fingers settling his palm over the curve of her stomach. He felt a nudge against his palm and blinked, surprised at the force, before looking up at her and feeling his breath leave him in a rush. Konig had never been too religious, between his birth and the battlefield he was disillusioned with the concept of a God watching over them. In that moment though, seeing how the light danced in her eyes and across her face, her smile making his heart skip a beat, he could see how mankind believed in angels.) To see her here, tucked away in a dark room to hide her cries, it wrenches at something in him. Like a fox digging for mice in the dirt, his chest clawed open and his heart plucked by something with fangs, leaving him to bleed out. He continues to wipe her face clean, cradling it and running his thumb over her cheekbone.

The very tips of her lashes brush against him as she looks down, trying to compose herself.

"I am happy, I promise. I was in my room thinking about the baby, and feeling them kick and it just feels so real now." She sniffles, cradling her bump, "I knew it was, but it felt far away. But now it's here and I-"

The tears start up again, her cries nothing more than wheezy exhales but heartbreaking all the same.

"I can't do this on my own." She lurches forward, throwing herself into his lap and wetting his shoulder, her own shaking. Konig wraps his arms around her, settling her fully onto him, careful not to press on her stomach or lower back. "You are not alone. You have the others, they are excited for the baby, ja?" He reaches to rub her back but hesitates, unsure if his touch would be welcome in this way. She shakes her head, "Not like that. They can't protect my child from what others will say." "Is the father refusing to step up?" He has his suspicions on who the babe 'belongs' to. "He doesn't know, sir." She croaks out, coughing from her raw throat. "Why have you not told him?" "It would change nothing." She is resigned to this fact, immutable from the moment she suspected the affair would bear fruit. Such is the way of their world, where a man's station reigns supreme above all else, no matter the cost. "The baby's father...it is Duke MacTavish's then?" He feels her stiffen, nails digging into his sides like a spooked cat, but she doesn't scramble away. Instead she tucks her head into his shoulder, hiding further from the truth unfurling. "Yes, my lord." She whispers, eyes clenched shut. God above, she begs in her mind for the Baron to not cast her out, to not tell society at large how she has lain with her employer, been so loose with her morals that she now carries his bastard inside her. "You were so scared, that first day. When I mentioned him, you startled so harshly, like a deer spotting a hunter. Easy, ricke. There are no hunters here." Propriety be damned, he runs his hand along her spine, the solid weight easing her nervous shiver, his fingers trailing up and down while his mind races back to his own family. (He knows all too well the curse of being born a bastard, his fate sealed the moment his eyes opened and were the wrong hue, his hair too fiery. Nobility granted only because of what was between his legs and not what ran through his veins, despite the fact that all men bleed the same colors when split open. Sent away under the guise of gaining valuable skills in the military, of becoming a true man when it was merely a punishment for his mother daring to love another. His mother, who bore the brunt of her husband's wrath, standing strong against his hatred like a mountain in a storm. Shielding him as best she could from the cruelty of their neighbors, their hypocrisy and delight at finding someone beneath them to point and jeer at. She refused to bow under the pressure, brushing off the scorn in public with an ease he wished he had, resting once sequestered in her chambers. Her shoulders downturned, face weary from the brave front she put forth, a war waged without a physical blade in hand whose wounds spill crimson all the same. His sister, tangentially tainted by his arrival. Forced to watch as the man she loved turned his back on her in favor of a better life, one free of scandal and strife. So easy to simply toss her aside, to leave her sobbing and chase the skirts of a woman with greater privileges, a weightier title. He had watched as she gave everything she could to him only to be discarded once her utility was done, her own reputation tarnished by rumors. Konig had never felt like less of a man than when he let the man escape with his teeth intact, choosing to be a pillar for his sister to lean on rather than a battering ram.)

Forced to watch as the most important people, the most important women in his life suffered consequences for actions of men, he can't help what slips free of his mouth. "Marry me." She wrenches herself backwards, hands slipping round his front to fist his nightshirt, red-rimmed eyes wide. "What?" She gasps. Surely he didn't- "Marry me." He repeats, the idea taking shape in his mind. "I-my lord, that's-I couldn't-" "You need a father for the babe. I need a wife and heir. Protects us both, no?" He didn't care what attacks they levied at him, he could endure, but he would be damned thrice over before he let one of his workers (perhaps his favorite) suffer the way he had. "But your reputation! You're a Baron! I could never!" The scandal of it all! She stands, wringing her hands, breath coming quick at the thought. Her, a Baroness, how absurd! A spit in the face of their society, a simple maid ascending to a position of power, however small it might be. And yet, he only shrugs, rolling his massive shoulders as though he's commenting on it raining later. "They gossip anyway. Let them. What do I care for their opinions?" From what he'd witnessed in his time here, all nobles were the same; using their status to take from those 'below' them, then absolving themselves of their sin by blaming their victims when denial failed. "I do not ask that you love me, mein ricke. Nor to share a bed with me. Only be my wife and mother of my child" He stands, keeping his distance as to not loom over her. The candle in the lantern flickers, ready to sputter out, casting them into darkness for a moment or two. Maybe it's the stress or the pregnancy causing her to not think through this harebrained scheme of his. Perhaps it's the reminder that there's no father waiting to enter from the wings to save her, a knight in shining armor on bended knee. It could even be the late hour, the darkness elevating her fears and twisting them into something that will make her regret her decision when daylight stretches it's fingers across the sky. Or maybe she's just tired of having to be strong on her own, and here is a man, a good man, offering his hand to her, a refuge from the animals lurking beyond the door. "Yes." It slips from her mouth like a gentle tendril of wind through a crack in a wall. When he tilts his head, she swallows down the apprehension as best she can, wincing slightly at the sting in her throat. "Yes, my lord. I will marry you." And so it is sealed here in this crevice, tucked away from the rest of the barony (never mind the rest of their pompous neighbors, tucked cozy in their beds amongst their secrets as numerous as the thread count of their sheets). A Baron marrying his maid. As the flame dies out, he opens the cellar door, gently ushering her out and towards the kitchen. It would appear that night-time tea would be accompanied with much discussion. He would make sure there was enough tea for the three of them. Translation: Mein ricke - My doe Mein Liebling - My darling Mein sonnenschein - My sunshine

[captain-n-crunchies]

Miles 42 Headcannons ( We got a man yall 🤭🤭

Miles 42x Black Reader

OK first off, THIS IS A 15/16 YEAR OLD CHILD HE BROKE AS HELL

Like he not broke broke but, hell shadow box for $5 and win ts. To me I feel he got a little money saved form how his dad taught his savings, and he got a back account because remember he's like a hitman he gets paid, but he's not like rich enough to the point he buys you like Rolex watches, Catier, Dior vintage bags from the 70's spring collection.

Next, I feel like to me evry says hes like some bad boy to me i just think hes troubled but, hes a good kid. In the first movie Miles acted the same way and in the second movie he's more mature I feel like Miles-42 matured faster since his dad died; he could never play with action figures when no action was taken to save his dad

It very sad how they describe him in fics as like a drug dealer bad kid when really, I think he's just a matured yet still goofy version of Miles like imagine Hobie attitude with miles it practically the same!

Also, more on the dating side of things Miles-42 I believe would not trust his s/o til 3 months later or even more. Miles-42 is a hitman, and he may have been taught people are going to burn your bridge when they have the chance so, Miles stays clear of really revealing his inner turmoil's til he can fully trust you.

But, when Miles does open up he's like a little flower all nice and smells good yet can still have you in the bed sick and tired if tried hard enough, I feel like his emotions would turn more gentler like he wasn't neglecting you but he kind of was condescending when you show a lot of affection and until you prove your real, hell just make the relationship picture worthy and not living worthy.

But an opinion I know people would say is true is that Miles both of them cannot flirt. Remember than most likely Miles-42 dad and Miles-1160 uncle died at or around the same time which means they both experienced the same ' I almost messed up my chances with this cool girl because my uncle/dad didn't teach me how to be a smooth criminal' but to me with how he put his hand on Miles-1160 shoulder..that man had one girlfriend in the 5th grade and he's been feelin himself since then.

Now before you two started dating you have crushes, Miles didn't have many crushes to my idea. I feel like he didn't see it like he thought of kids as friends and if he did like smb it would be like quick and over with simply because he would try to be friends more.

Like imagine you tryna shoot your shot with him and he just asks you what your favorite power ranger...that what I mage would happen but he's 15/16 so instead it him saying ' cool but, not interested' like he's not rude about it but, you would feel he not messin with you,

Buttt if he does have like a real crush on you, I feel like he would try to get to know you by socials than irl, like asking Ganke can he ask for your socials and then following you and from there trying bag you by cheesy but smooth texts. He would ask about your day, what was the homework, what clubs you do ask a conversation starter but, if you feelin him hell asking about music because I feel like Miles-42 and Miles-1160 both have a music bone in them, and you know Miles-42 listens to good music (won't ever catch him listening to mf Lil Pump ass) I also feel like Miles would ask about pop culture opinions to see how you are as a person like do you watch any popular tv shows? Ohhhh your favorite is Greys Anatomy... so you have nothing to do in your time? That what hell thinks.

My last little head cannon is more of what he would do if Ms. Rio liked you, which because he respectful baddies she likes us quickly, so What would miles do if Rio likes us 🧐

First, Miles wouldn't tell but shell know simply because Miles never smiles at a text, it doesn't matter if he won $128302 million, he not smiling until he met our lovely baddie reader now, he is giggling and kicking his feet. To Ms. Rio that's not normal, it gives her a sense of his old self and she doesn't pry into his social like a helicopter parent but, she doesn't take a peek over his shoulder and when Miles does get the courage to tell her she just smiling acting like she aint know.

Miles seeing his mom like would take a big relief off his shoulders because he thought about the reddit stories where the mom is crazy and now, he thinks his momma gonna run us over with a truck and blame it on the next-door neighbor (true miles fashion)

His mom liking you also lets him know he picked the right one, mothers know best when it comes to fake people for some odd reason and if Rio didn't side-eye you when she met you then your good and he's inviting you to his house more often. I'm not going to talking about Uncle Aaron because I feel like they not as close like that but that a head cannon for a sad day.

But, at the end of the day Miles wants us bad 🤭🤭

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Draco malfoy headcannons

flavor: fluffy and smutish but they're separated so you won't get jump scared

Also I'm returning to my roots with this stinky mf okay I have writers block

Sfw

Liked you in the hallway crush type of way yk like when there’s that one person in the halls that you're like “god damn, anyways where’s my next class”

Never even tried to speak to you was just like ” I'll gaze from afar”

The only problem is that he has major resting bitch face so you were sat there racking your brain over what you could’ve possibly done to this random daddy’s money kid (like this isn't set in a private school but LOOK OVER THERE)

Confessed by just standing in front of you and 👁👁 before handing you an outdated birthday card with a 100 dollar bill inside with a note inside that was basically just him like “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE-“

You did give him a shot and he did actually speak words to you

bitchest bitch ever yall bicker (lovingly of course) 24/7

“did you for real just copy off of me?” “Okay well at least I don’t have daddy issues” “You cannot be talking and you know it”

He gives stick bug vibes yk

does not comprehend normal human life you could be complaining about doing laundry and he is like “Just have one of the elves do it?” and you are like “😶right so-“

just assume you have the answer to everything bc like you’re his partner? tf?

“how far away is Saturn in kilometers?” “They don't measure distance with kilometers, Draco, you dumbass. It’s called lightyears.” ‘right so in lightyears then?” “How tf am I supposed to know?”

he’ll hear a crash and look to you like you know what’s going on and you’ll turn his head back

I'm not one to assume someone’s sexuality but it's very much bisexual for the both of you (he likes guys and you know it)

a hot guy will pass and you both turn to each other like {insert Bratz meme here}

has created mustard gas on accident

laughs at his own jokes unironically (he is the only one laughing)

will try to be relatable and it's just like “yk that moment when your Prada shoes get gourmet chocolate on them”

makes up new names for your stuffed animals bc he thinks all the ones you picked were “lame”

his beauty sleep comes above everything else

Once Theo woke him up (there was a fire they had to evacuate) and the next night you found him hovering a pillow over Theo’s face you tackled him to the ground

Only knows how to play dominoes no card games or anything only dominoes

Bought you guys matching sleep masks

And embroidered PJs

And bunny slippers

PDA hater

He’ll sit next to you at max when you're around lots of people when you're just around his friends he's down with hugs and hand-holding maybe a cheek kiss but that's it

Alone is a different story he's attached to you he's actively trying to crawl under your skin as we speak

Terrified of bugs he's standing on a chair and screaming the second he sees one

Pays you in kisses when you take the bug outside (after you wash your hands)

Prefers baths over showers

Hates dogs and growls at them more than they growl at him

Only likes cats in theory bc they leave hair on his clothes

He's a reptile man

has owned a bearded dragon and will own more

Cold mf you wanna look me in the eye and tell me he has good circulation

Presses his cold ass feet against you while you're on the brink of sleep so confused when you swing your hand back to smack him

“I'm just cuddling you?”

“Cuddle somebody else fucking ice cube bitch ass”

Every single night

He sleeps on his back with his hands on his stomach like he's going to get lowered into his casket it's embarrassing

Thinks he knows how to shake ass and then when he tries (and fails) he considers never speaking to anyone ever again

Has gotten flirted with while he was with you and he just stared at them blankly bc he couldn't tell if it was happening

And then he left the room entirely

Walks in on people butt ass naked bc he has not learned how to knock (only child syndrome)

Stares a lot

He has nothing better to do so he’ll just come join you in your dorm and 👁hi👁

You've learned to block him out so he’ll scare the shit out of you

Sure he doesn't know how to flirt but he has money so he makes up for it

If you look at anything longer than three seconds he's following behind you with his card and the other twelve bags you have

This does have you ending up with things you didn't want so your friends love your random gifts

One of them will walk into potions with a luxury purse and one of the other kids will be like “tf Did you get that?” and your friends are like “🫵” And you're like “I didn't want it” So some of the student body does hate your guts just a little

favorite food is plain white rice

Thinks that acrylic nails go under the skin yk like in those videos with the fake hands pushing the nails up the finger yeah he thinks that actually happens to people

Jaw on the floor when you explain to him that's not what happens

Nsfw kinda

Down to three-way and will NOT let you forget

“I met this cute girl at the-” “I'm down. 😐”

“Oh did you see Harry this morning he was-” “Do you think he'd hook up with us?😐” “Babe. We've talked about this” “just once please”

Has asked you to peg him

unless you have a dick then he's asking for one of those two-way dildo things (tell me you know what I'm talking about 🙏)

Sub SUCK MY DICK DUDE HES A SUB SHUT UP

Actively begging sobbing on his knees “Please baby Please being so good please”

Would be a swinger and he'd have a pineapple on his front porch

Sorry

Has dabbled in the lockerrooms

Will ask you if the boys can watch him hit and you said only if they see him at his lowest begging and pleading for you he is silent as of now (give him two weeks)

Type of bitch to be covered in hickeys and when someone is like “What happened? To your neck?” and he's like “Literally what are you talking about?” will gaslight them into thinking there's nothing on his neck

Prefers cuddling naked but hates not immediately being in the bath after sex so he has to battle himself in his head

Can't dirty talk he's like “You look so nice when you're not in clothes? Do you like my wee wee?” and you're sitting there “bitch your what?”

Have resulted in him not being allowed to talk

Quickies number one hater

Needs his time to get into pussybitchboy mode

Okay bye

[stqrgirlie0]

⋆toxic!theo⋆

now we’ve all hear of theo in a healthy and loving relationship, however in a toxic one? Probably the worst. Things would start off good, you guys would be all over each other, all the time. Everything would be great, unit it wouldn’t. After a few weeks, theo would grow bored and tired of you. He’d talk to other girls right in front of you, on purpose. And then when you’d confront him about it he’d get all defensive, make you think that you’re the one who’s wrong. He’d accuse you of being controlling and that he’s allowed to have ‘friends’ who are female. Despite being emotionally done with you, he wouldn’t break up, because he lovees getting you all riled up to the point where you are so mentally exhausted with his mind games, that you just give up. You give up, and you let him win, again and again and again. You guys would argue every single day, and it would always be in his dorm- because there’d always be something to go confront him about, no where other than his dorm. Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t easy, and when it’s with theo-it’s even harder. All your friends say to get out of it before it’s too late, but you’ve already ran out time. Confrontation doesn’t affect him, all the more reason for you to not leave him just to accept the challenge of making him care- just once. You would be screaming your lungs out and he’d just stand there, with a stupid smirk on his face as watches you pace around the room while shouting, and wonders what your thighs would look like locked around his head, your hands brushing out his fluffy curls and your mouth chanting out his name instead of whatever you were saying right now. Eventually the previous becomes a reality. It was almost like an indirect apology, yet theo had no intention of apologising, he just wanted to keep you hooked on for the next few days until he would do it again. suddenly everything’s fine. Well it’s not, but that’s how he’ll be pretending it is for the next few days. It’s this and his love bombing that made it so hard for you to leave, you hate it but you don’t. It’s a tricky one, but the cycle goes on, and on, and on. And oh my god this man is so stubborn, he cannot and will not change himself for you. During the honeymoon period of your relationship, his smoking didn’t really bother you, he wouldn’t be smoking all the time, maybe once every two or three days (sounds very unlikely I know). But after things got a bit more strained, he’d smoke multiple everyday- maybe even finishing the whole pack in a day. It was horrible. You hated the smell, and the worst thing was that it was everywhere. on nights when you and theo would supposedly ‘make up’, every corner of you would be infested with the scent, lingering on your clothes for the next few days. on the other nights when you’d go back to your dorm, alone and crying, you’d toss and turn in your bed. The scent would arise, from your pillows, duvet, hair, clothes, and it’d remind you of him. Shamefully you’d admit that sometimes the smell mixed with his signature cologne, would automatically drop you to your knees (don’t worry girl, me too), not that he minded. Honestly he loves seeing you from above, it just engraves the power dynamic between you two into his psychotic little brain, inflating his ego more than it already is. god he hated you, but oh how he was in love with you even more, infatuated and obsessed- feeding his desire of seeing you crying your pretty eyes out because of him, shouting with your pretty voice at him, pulling at your pretty hair because of him. Yeah, he’s (very much more than) borderline insane, but girl, as soon as you learn the rules of his games, he’ll wish he never started it.

a/n: guys if your s/o reflects any behaviour above- LEAVE. this is not meant to be normal!! This piece is not in any way condoning toxic behaviour- just a little writing task seeing what I can come up with

#something I started ages ago and decided to finish #YALL IM SORRY BUT IM GON HAVE TO HOLD OFF PART 4 FOR A BIT LONGER #work is killing me and I have easter break to catch up😭😞 #pls take this as a peace offering🙌🏼🙂

[shellxrls]

okay let’s talk about how John b fucks. because ohmyfuckinggod

he has such and incredible, immaculate, crazy, aneurism inducing stroke game I cannot even begin to describe it. he just gets it. like ughhh.

he’s so thick and girthy and his VEINS!!! ugh. like I swear it just makes it even better. he has this one vein that runs alll the way down the underside of his cock NMFJFJDH. perfection.

okay I’m going off topic. when John b fucks. he takes it seriously. he will never, and I mean never intentionally neglect someone that he loves. and he is very very firm about that rule in the bedroom.

he always takes it slow at the beginning. he is amazing with the foreplay. sloppy kisses and HEAD!!! AMAZING HEAD!!!! and fingering. oh the fingering.

he knows he’s big, and he knows that it’s nearly impossible to get used to like ughhgh. has to spend minutes jst using his fingers to get me stretched out and ready.

and yall already know HE TALKS THROUGH IT!!! he uses the nickname ‘dolly’ which honestly I wasn’t expecting but I did not complain I can tell you that.

he lovessss pretty noises, and honestly acts like he’s not expecting it and maybe he isn’t but like.. ?? you really expect me not to whimper when ur four fingers knuckles deep inside??

but genuinely, he’s so soothing and lovely. comforting works and always coaxing sweetly.

the foreplay varies by instance but the sex is almost always the same. medium paced, gentle but rough, and soooo just ugh. makes the brain go to mush on autopilot.

he’s just so daddy. like omg. omg. ugh. daddy. he is daddy. daddy is him. I cannot exaggerate this enough.

he is dick is so perfect literally every time he goes in he hits that spot. you know the spot.

he makes these little grunting noises every time he thrusts in it’s so hawt like omg.

he LOVES a good mating press.

he’s also a titty sucker. and. he is. a. TOTAL. munch. he’s so sloppy when he’s suckin on the clit all perfect.

and you bet he does not EVER struggle to find the clit either. this man has experience.

he is also HEAVY. like his whole person he jst pins me down so effortlessly ugh. he literally radiates dominance.

he’s also a chronic clit rubber 🤞🏻always had a thumb on my clit over my shorts or under my skirt.

and he reeks of casual dominance. if I’m being bratty or just whiny he’ll just cup my pussy like it’s nothing. talking in that low voice like SLUT ME OUT.

he lovesss receiving head. normally he’ll be sitting down, me on my knees infront of him. he holds my hair back and guides me <333 ugh he is just SO daddy.

he also loves dry humping <3 ugh like if we’re outside the chateau at sunset n ill just hump on him for ages like YESSS.

also this surprised me but he has a mild choking kink, not like hardcore but he’ll wrap a hand round the throat definitely, even if he doesn’t apply too much pressure.

he’s also a pretty moaner <3

massive breeding kink too!!!! like ugh mhh ohh I love it. he shoots BIG loads so those creampies are immaculate.

when it’s all finished he’ll dip and hand down and scoop some of his cum up and feed it to me <333 mhh

and he is the KING!!! of aftercare. the absolute sweetest. has a checklist in his mind of things to make sure we both keep up our personal hygiene during and after sex. always wiped me up and is very avid that I don’t do too much very physical stuff after cause he fucks for a long time and he fucks deep so bet I’ll be tired af.

lots of cuddles and kisses <33 ugh love him.

okay I think that’s all the points but if I’ve missed anything out or if there’s anything else yall wanna know lmk!!

- rafe shifter

CRYING SCREAMING THIS IS MY BIBLE. this is my holy text oh my god.

PLSS i know that one vein must jut out and feel so fucking GOOD ohmygosksjsjdk.

i can’t even function him just being casually dominant and so daddy mode is making me SICK . clenching my thighs i knew he wld be like this <33.

‘dolly’ IS SO CUTE IM SICK PLEASE. it’s def the grandpa in him and i’d say it to his face no shame 🙏🏼.

i can imagine the grunts i know they’re practically punched outta him with every grind and thrust AGH !!

love that he uses your clit like a little fidget toy that so cute !! i’d never stop wearing shorts and skirts around him tbh bcuz that’s daddy wdym !!

also jeez i need to write a breath play drabble with him now bcuz i’d never though ab it before but i bet those biceps are perfect for choking someone out <3.

i love him so much and once again THANK YOU BABES !! cannot ever say it enough honestly this has been the highlight of my week and i love talking ab it with you <3.