#yah and while we’re at this it let’s also let the history books say they were friends
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
padfootastic · 1 year ago
Text
yeah so it’s not like my codependent james & sirius don’t love or care for other people. it’s that, when it comes down to it, their default is the other and sorry if u don’t think that’s different but it is.
they’re not putting the people in their life on a twisted graded hierarchy, they’re just?? each others?? most important person?? like bro why is it that the most common tropes on fucking earth are a problem when it’s prongsfoot????
#if u couldn’t tell already#i keep going onto the anti pf side of things#and ykno what i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna take the plunge. do what i dislike. and block.#(no but i’ll try to. really)#lEt tHeM bE bRoS#dOnT cHeApEn tHeiR fRieNdShIp#yah and while we’re at this it let’s also let the history books say they were friends#because we don’t have enough male friendships so we need representation 😀#(sometimes??? do they realise??? they’re regurgitating older homophobic phrases or???)#like bro. ur not the only one w life exp.#‘sometimes i think these people don’t/can’t—‘ shut up shut UP#i hate romance irl. can’t do it will never do it don’t like it.#but that’s not my fictional consumption now is it?#and won’t be either#j&s occupy a space more than friends OR lovers#also don’t know why some people r seeking realism?? in this universe?? esp considering what they’re writing usually??#like. some self awareness pls?#if y’all can’t tell. i’m annoyed lmao#i’m just sick of seeing j/s treated like. idk. it’s the first or only ship to romanticise friendships or wtv#WHILE and this bit is imp WHILE loudly shipping w*l farar and j*gulus like???#just say u like those ships and go??#but also. that last point is just me being frustrated. i get the bitching bc i do the same w those two ships#so like. yeah. respect their right to rant. but won’t respect the rant lol#also…this isn’t @ like anyone in particular . it’s just many people on the anti pf mwpp side i’ve seen who have similar arguments#and they’re always the stupidest#which i wouldn’t care for so much it if they didn’t constantly bring up ‘real life! realistic! not how it works!’ etc etc#yah#that’s it for now#i’m sure i’ll come back later lmao#pen’s whining
43 notes · View notes
athenasbloodyspear · 3 years ago
Text
Don’t Make Me Beg Now Baby
CHAPTER ONE: EDGE OF DARKNESS
Hello fellow Greta Van Freaks. This is my very first Greta fic! I hope you enjoy.
MASTERLIST
Note: This fic contains mature themes, discussions of past non-con (no members of GVF involved) and drug use. Minors DNI. 18+ only and please take care of yourselves. (See Ao3 for full tag list)
You can also read this fic on Ao3 if you prefer!
Jake Kiszka x Original Female Character
Picture this: The boys are in Northern Michigan to write the new album and they meet a wild young woman who works at a local record store who has a rough history with rock bands.
She doesn’t want to fall into the same traps she fell into before. He doesn’t want to hurt her.
The rest of them just want them to figure their shit out.
Note: While this fic is based on the members of Greta Van Fleet, I obviously do not know them personally (lol) and nearly 99% of this is a fever dream I decided to write down. Some tid bits are based on things said in interviews/photos/songs but please do not come for my neck if you dislike my portrayals as this is a STORY that I have entirely made up.
This will be a slow burn, overly dramatic, cliché fest of me missing my Mitten State and wishing more than anything I could move back home. Their music makes me homesick and for that I’ll never forgive them. ;)
Chapter Under the Cut
CHAPTER ONE: EDGE OF DARKNESS
The tiny bell on the door to “The Edge” clanked as Jake pushed his way in, followed by Josh, Sam and Danny. The afternoon sun streamed through the slats in the windows at a harsh angle, illuminating the swirling dust. The boys all immediately took a deep breath. They all loved the smell of this place. A mix of dusty old vinyl's, incense and weed. 
The Edge was the shop owned by an old friend, Levi, who had been a longtime family friend of the Kiszka’s. The boys had made the near three hour drive to the shop whenever they had a spare weekend in their younger years. They bought Levi out of his guitar strings and drumsticks and always looked through the boxes of vinyl's hoping to find treasures. Levi sold an eclectic mix of music equipment, records, books, home goods and comically horrific coffee. 
The Edge is where they had each bought their very first instruments, had their first beers and even smoked their first joint. It was a special place for them. 
The old wood floors creaked with every step, the wood walls were covered with old articles from Rolling Stone, photos Levi had taken and autographs from the artists who had cycled through the place over the years. There were stacks upon stacks of vinyl's. Shelves of old autobiographies and music theory books. There were speakers stacked from floor to ceiling, and the whole right side of the store was jam packed with basses and guitars. The back corner had a few keyboards and a drum set, but plenty of catalogues to pick even more instruments from. There were cases of drumsticks and guitar picks and strings. The middle of the store had tables full of incense, candles and interesting home goods. There were tables where local artists sold jewelry, art pieces and furniture. It was full to the brim, most shelves rising way up to the ceiling. Most needed a ladder to reach the top. The basement had a sound studio with even more equipment set up to be used to record, or to test out. 
Levi had inherited the place from his father, who had built up quite a legendary roster of friends over his years. The shop was just off Front Street on the main drag of Traverse City. Levi’s father had made a name for himself as a great host to bands looking to escape to northern Michigan to hole up in cabins and write albums. Levi continued the tradition and took it a step further by buying the space next door and turning it into a club with live music on the weekends. 
If you were lucky, you could catch some super huge bands playing for only about 100 people in the dark side room of The Edge. 
“You bastards finally made it!” Levi called out as he came sauntering out of the back room. Levi looked the exact same as the last time the boys had seen him. Tanned skin from his days paddle boarding and hiking along the Lake Michigan shore, sandy blonde hair that was brighter in the summer, perpetual 5-o-clock shadow because he just couldn’t be bothered to shave, shell necklace around his neck, light wash jeans low on his hips with the same old cowboy boots he’d been wearing since the boys were 12. 
“Is that grey hair I see Levi?” Josh leaned forward with an exaggerated squint. Levi laughed, snagging Josh’s head to give him a noogie. 
“I may be older than you punks by a few years, but I’m not greying yet.” Levi released Josh from his headlock and gave him a shove. 
“I’d say 37 is more than a few years older than us, grandpa.” Sam snarked. 
“You’re makin me regret extending my hospitality, kid.” 
Jake felt himself relax fully for the first time in a really long time. It was just like old times. Exactly what the boys needed. 
“Welcome back dudes. I’m surprised I’m still cool enough for you Rockstar types.” Levi crossed his legs and leaned back against the front counter. 
“We’ll never be too cool for The Edge. This place will always be way cooler than we could ever be.” Danny piped up, walking forward to wrap Levi in a hug. 
“It’s been too long man.” Levi commented as he smacked Danny on the back. 
“We know.” Sam said “Way too fuckin long.” He hugged Levi next. Josh and Jake followed up with hugs next. The room was heavy with a tinge of melancholy. Old friends who had missed each other finally reunited. 
“Well, have you guys been to the house yet?” Levi stepped around the counter and started pouring four cups of the famous nasty coffee. 
“Yeah we dropped our bags off before we headed into town.” Danny spoke up. 
“Isn’t it sweet?” Levi asked enthusiastically. 
“It’s wicked man. Thanks so much for getting that set up for us.” Josh grinned as he snagged a cup off the counter. 
The house was a mid century modern cabin right on the east bay shore. It came equipped with a huge garage studio, front deck and a dock out into the bay. Levi had bought the house in foreclosure and along with help from a bunch of locals (in exchange for beer of course) they turned the house into a perfect getaway for any artists looking to come take a break up north. The place had five bedrooms and three bathrooms with a giant living room with overstuffed couches and velvet chairs. The walls were covered in art and the shelves were full to bursting with plants. It was a kaleidoscope of colors and textures,  with mix matched rugs and lamps. It was Levi’s pride and joy. 
“I’m so glad you guys like it.” Levi smiled even bigger as he passed coffees to the rest of the boys. “Once you’re a little more settled, feel free to send me a list of equipment you want me to set up downstairs and you can start coming in whenever to work. But also, I think you should probably take a week or two off first. You all look about two seconds away from collapsing.” 
“Yeah we’re pretty fuckin beat dude. But we’ll send you a list ASAP.” Jake said, taking a burning sip of the coffee. It singed his nerve endings and he couldn’t have been happier about it. 
Levi opened his mouth to speak again, when a voice filtered through the window to the loft above the store. 
“Yo Levi!” the person shouted “Can you please get off your fuckin ass and pick music to play? I know Wednesdays are your day to pick but if you take forever I’m just gonna put on whatever I want and you can suck it.”
All four boys' heads snapped up to the window to the loft, but whoever was up there couldn’t be seen. All they could see was that the loft had clearly gotten a makeover. What used to be an upper level where Levi stored surplus supplies now looked like it had a plush velvet couch, lava lamps and plants in it. 
“Alright alright! I’ll get on it.” Levi called back up, shaking his head and chuckling to himself as he walked toward the central sound system behind the counter to scroll through Spotify playlists. 
“Who the fuck is that and what have you done to the loft?” Josh asked, hopping up to sit on the counter. 
“That would be the very best thing that’s ever fallen into my lap. A.k.a my new store and venue manager Maven. She moved back to the area after living in Hollywood for a few years managing bands and she completely changed my life. We finally have consistent stock, a longstanding line up at the club and I have had the time to start photography again. Truly a godsend, if not occasionally a pain in my ass. She turned the loft into a breakroom of sorts.  There’s a couch and table up there now. She practically lives up there sometimes.” 
“Damn she must be some woman if she finally got you to get your shit together with that club.” Sammy piped up. 
“She’s hellfire, I’ll tell yah that.” Levi chuckled, finally hitting play on a playlist. The first bars of Surfin USA by the Beach Boys came on the surround system and matching groans came out of Jake downstairs and Maven upstairs. 
“Not this shit again!” Maven yells. Jake chuckled to himself. Hellfire indeed. 
“It’s my day to pick so suck it!” Levi called back before faux stage whispering to the boys “I mostly just play this to piss her off.”
Levi clapped his hands together once “Well boys, It’s close enough to five o'clock and I owe you a beer. Let’s head over to Little Fleet for some grub and beers and we can catch up.” 
Josh grimaced as he sucked down the last bit of his coffee before lobbing the empty cup into the trash at the end of the counter. “You still make shit coffee Levi.” 
“It’s the one thing I wouldn’t let Maven fix.” Levi said with a grin as all five men exited out the back door. 
                                                           ~0~
The boys took a week to relax, as per Levi’s request. They spent the days hiking the shore, kayaking and drinking beer around the fire. It had been way too long since they’d done this. The release of The Battle at Garden’s Gate had been exhilarating and the fans' response had been everything they’d hoped for. People seemed to love the album and they were all so proud. But with press interviews and touring, they hadn’t gotten more than a day or two to relax at a time. And they certainly hadn’t gotten a chance to get back to their favorite old haunts in years. 
They stopped by the store almost every morning for a cup of coffee strong enough to jumpstart their hearts. Sometimes Levi joined them on their escapades, and sometimes he stayed behind to help out at the store. The boys spent a few afternoons sifting through albums and strumming on some of Levi’s vintage guitars. 
Mostly they caught up on each other's lives. The boys recounted their more personal lives that happened outside the coverage of the album and Levi talked about the past few years of his life in Traverse City. Levi told them all about Maven and how she was practically his little sister. They laughed. They drank. They had a blast. 
The boys noticed Levi was a little on edge occasionally, typically when they heard someone shuffling upstairs or equipment moving around in the backroom of the shop. They assumed it was Maven but weren’t sure, since they had yet to see her in the flesh. A week from their arrival they were all sitting in lawn chairs in the alley behind the store, smoking cigs and drinking their coffee when Sam finally asked. 
“So, why haven’t we met your precious Maven yet? Hiding her from us or something?” 
Levi shifted a bit in his chair. “Um..” he coughed out a laugh. “I am actually. Yes. But it’s the other way around, I’m hiding you from her.” 
“Afraid she’ll fan-girl or something?” Josh commented as he ashed his cigarette.  
“In… a sense.” Levi coughed. “But in quite the opposite way you’re imagining.” 
“She’s a fan then?” Sammy piped up.
“She loves your music. A lot.” Levi sniffed and coughed again. “It’s a real safe haven for her. When she’s having a bad day I catch her upstairs laying on the floor smoking a J with sound cancelling headphones blasting your albums as loud as she can.” 
“Exactly how it’s meant to be enjoyed. With a joint in hand.” Jake chimes in.  
“Yeah..” Levi toes the asphalt a bit with his boots, but doesn’t continue.
“Soooo” Sammy drawls “Why can’t we meet her? We’re no stranger to super fans. I’m sure she’s cool.” 
“Um, well. It’s a bit complicated.” Levi heaves a sigh before flicking his cigarette butt into the coffee canister at the center of their little circle. “I suppose I can trust you guys. You’re friends. Do you remember the huge lawsuit that the band Undercover Heart went through last year? The one about the um” He coughs again, “Rape of one of their staff members by the lead singer Ryan?” 
“Yes. That shit was horrific man.” Danny spoke up. “I read all the details I could. They kept the poor girl's identity private but goddamn I felt so bad for her. She was a badass for filing that suit though.” 
“Yeah. She was.” Levi breathed. “So, this is strictly off record and if you repeat this to anyone I will skin you all alive, famous rock stars be damned.” 
“Jesus Levi.” Jake said. 
“It was her.” Levi choked out. “Maven. That’s why she ran back from Hollywood and ended up here. That dude messed her up and she just… she struggles with meeting famous bands now. You know how many people cycle through this joint writing stuff. She just… has a really fuckin hard time with it sometimes. Particularly bands she likes. I think it’s because once you meet someone, and in her case, discover how much of a monster they can be, their music isn’t… safe anymore.” 
“Fuck.” Jake said, flicking his cigarette into the canister. 
“Well I feel terrible for joking about her being a fangirl.” Josh mutters. 
“She just genuinely loves you guys a lot. I never really told her I was an old friend because I didn’t want her to be worried about y’all stopping by. I just know that if she knows you’re here she’ll take off and avoid coming by the shop as much as she can and not only do I need her here, but I think she needs the safety of the shop too. I didn’t want to wreck it.” Levi sighs again. “I know she’ll find out you’re here eventually, it’s inevitable. I just was a coward and didn’t want to break the news to her.” 
“She was a pretty well known band manager wasn’t she?” Danny asks. “She like… completely made Undercover Heart what it was. Before they hired her they were slated to be a one hit wonder but she hauled them into relevancy basically by her will alone.” 
“Yeah. She basically built that man's career for him. She gave him everything, and he took everything from her. If I ever see the man I’m liable to get my ass thrown in prison.” Levi mutters.
“I’ll help.” Danny says immediately. 
All five sit in silence for a few minutes, smoking the last of their cigarettes. When they’d all finished, they stood and stretched to head back inside the shop. 
“So yeah. Anyway, If you see her that’s fine, just… well now you have context for… her.” Levi says as he yanks open the door. 
A few steps into the back hallway, Levi suddenly halts, causing all four boys to nearly bash into each other. The front door to the shop had crashed open and there were footsteps stomping across the store toward the front desk. 
“Listen Levi,” Maven’s tense voice carried down the back hall. “I know Wednesdays are usually your day for music but I’m having an absolute shit fucking day so I’m playing Greta all day and there’s absolutely nothing you can fucking do about it, kapeesh?” 
The very opening chords of Edge of Darkness scratch through the speakers after she finishes her sentence and the boys all exchange a slightly amused look, grins spread on all of their faces. 
“Kapeesh.” Levi calls out to her. He spins and silently nods to the boys to head toward the back door. The boys attempt to be as quiet as they can as they creep toward the door. 
“Also, Levi?” Maven calls again. Everyone halts in their tracks. “You said there was a band coming in soon. Are they here yet? Do you need me to set up the backroom?” 
“Uh, yeah they’re here.” Levi squeaks. All five men share nervous looks. “They’re uh… up at the house.” He cringes at his lie. “I’m getting an equipment list from them today and then you can get started. 
“Cool cool.” Maven calls back. “Do you think I’ll like their stuff?” 
“Uh. Yeah.” Levi grins then. “I think you will.” 
“Wicked.” Maven calls back. 
All five men repress giggles as they skedaddle out the back door and into the alley. 
                                                        ~0~
The next morning the boys wake up to a group text from Levi. 
COME BY THE SHOP ASAP. COME IN BACK DOOR. HEAD DOWN THE STAIRS TO THE BOOTH. BE AS QUIET AS YOU CAN. 
A weird request, but they did as they were told. They all piled into the SUV they had rented and headed to the shop. Danny peeled open the back door as quietly as he could, and Sammy opened the door to the stairs. They tiptoed down and through the door at the end of the stairs that opened into the booth of a sound studio. Levi sat in front of all the mixing boards with a cup of coffee to his lips. He glanced over at them and softly said “coffees on the table.” 
“Why the weird text?” Jake asked. 
“Because of that.” Levi responded softly, pointing through the dark glass into the soundstage. 
The sound stage was littered with mismatched rugs, and a few milk crates that doubled as tables. There was a gorgeous seafoam green drum set toward the back wall and stands full of various guitars and basses. Along the left wall was a piano and a Mellotron set up exactly to the specifications Sam sent over. However, with all these beautiful instruments to look at that would normally catch their eye, it was the woman sitting on stool in the center, cradling a dark purple Fender guitar that made Jake stop in his tracks. 
Maven, Jake had to guess that’s who it was, was wearing checkered distressed pants, with a ripped up old band t-shirt cropped at her ribs, revealing a sliver of the rounded part of her stomach. Over top she was wearing an orange leopard print cardigan that ran down to her thighs. Around her neck was a series of long necklaces, and her wrists were adorned with interlacing leather bands. 
She was plucking out a melody with her eyes closed, rocking back and forth on the stool. Jake had seen countless numbers of people playing the guitar before. On the road, in the studio, studying old masters on YouTube. There was nothing overly special about the way she was sitting or playing, but he felt a little bit like he couldn’t breathe. 
“She never fuckin plays anymore man.” Levi whispered. “It felt like magic hearing music coming out of the basement this morning. I just felt like you should see it.” 
The melody she was playing was sad. Haunting is a better way to put it, and Jake couldn’t look away. Not even when Sammy placed a cup of burning hot coffee into his hands. She was moving her head along with her playing, the strands of her dark messy hair shaking back and forth. The group watched in silence as she played out the riff a few times, Levi cranked the volume of the mics in the space and they could hear her humming softly. 
“She has a strong presence.” Josh murmured. 
Maven suddenly stopped. Everyone froze as she heaved a sigh and stood from the stool to put the guitar back on it’s rack. 
“You in there Levi?” Maven said then. The boys still didn’t move a muscle. Jake’s head was spinning, having finally seen the face that went with the voice he’d heard in the loft for a week. She was beautiful. He couldn’t even really put his finger on why, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Even seeing her through the thick dark glass of the studio. 
Levi hit the button to the mic in the booth and responded “Yah.” He paused before adding. “Sounded good.” 
Maven snorted in a self-deprecating way and said “Thanks.” 
Levi hit the mic button again and said “You should play more.”
“Don’t push it Levi.” Maven snapped back. Levi released the button to his mic and let out a heavy sigh. “Can you check some levels on the lines for me? I think I have everything pretty good but I want to make sure before they get here today.” 
“Sure.” Levi replied. 
Maven pulled the amp cord out of the Fender she had been playing on and plugged it into another guitar, one more similar to the guitars that Jake regularly used while they wrote. 
“Are we looking for a punk or a rock-y sound?” Maven asked. 
“Um.” Levi hesitated. “Rock. Their sound is like…” He tossed a small smile over his shoulder at the boys. “Like Greta’s actually.” 
“Dope. I hope they’re not just copying the boys. They’ve got a mellotron in here and everything.” The boys smiled. She pounded out a few chords on the guitar. “Good?” 
Levi looked over at Jake for confirmation. Jake, who still had not taken his eyes off Maven, nodded. 
“Yeah, that should be good for raw sound. They can play with stuff too. They’re a pretty well educated bunch.” Levi called back.
“Thank god.” Maven snorted. “Not like that indie punk bunch you booked last month who needed me to do fucking all their sound mixing for them.” 
“Maven, I don’t think they kept asking you down here because they need help with their sound.” 
Maven just rolled her eyes at that.  
They repeated the process with each instrument, Levi silently asking for confirmation from the respective Greta member until they were sure the sound lines were all functioning properly. 
“Great work kid.” Levi called into the studio. 
“Ew don’t call me kid. I’m a 27 year old woman.” Maven called back. 
Levi chuckled. “You’re a kid to me.” 
“Whatever.” Maven muttered. “I’m gonna go take a walk along the beach. Smoke a little. Text me if they need me.” 
“Will do.” Levi called back. The boys all tensed, looking for places to hide, or to run up the stairs and back into the alley. Luckily, Maven took the back door out of the studio and up another hallway instead.
“Well boys, it’s all you.” Levi said. “Text if you need anything.” 
Sam piped up and said “Yeah actually, can you pick my brother’s jaw up off the floor?” 
“Jake see pretty lady play guitar and Jake brain break.” Josh teased. 
“You guys suck.” Jake grumbled. 
Levi cackled. “I thought you’d like her.”  
                                                        ~0~
Maven walked along the coast of the bay and absentmindedly smoked a joint. It was an overcast and drizzly day which meant there was no one around, which she preferred anyway. She was feeling on edge. The drizzle was very slowly building a small sheen of water on her arms and hair, but she didn’t mind. The cool water and gentle breeze combination was perfect. 
Maven sat her butt down in the sand and stared out at the waves. She normally wore headphones on her walks, her world was a near constant stream of music, but she had opted for silence today. 
Levi was being weird. He was edgy around her all week, sending her out every morning for tasks and disappearing without saying where he was going around 4:30 every day. She had come to the conclusion that whatever band was in town this week was a pretty big name. Or big enough that he was nervous about her being around them. She sighed. She hated when he tiptoed around her. Maven didn’t blame him. When she first started working at the shop she had had a couple pretty bad PTSD episodes that had scared the shit out of him. She owed him everything for staying with her, talking her down and making sure she was fed and had water when she got into one of her states. 
Levi was her best friend, to put it mildly. He cared for her, kept her safe and in return she busted her ass at his store making sure they had the best products, the best shows and that their artist getaway was something that people would go back and tell their friends about. She loved Levi like an older brother, and he cared for her like his little sister. She would forever be grateful to whatever power in the universe made her stumble into The Edge two years ago. 
She had been high out of her mind, as she had been most days after she came running back to Michigan with her tail between  her legs, and Levi had been struggling with an amp in the shop. She had walked in, spotted his struggle and didn’t even say a word to him, just walked over and fixed the wiring so that it was functional again. Levi had looked up from where he sat on the floor and said “You don’t happen to need a job do you?” 
The rest was essentially history. It only took two months of seeing him every single day, and him not letting her sour moods go by unnoticed, for her to spill her guts over some bourbon one night. About Ryan and Undercover Heart and how badly the whole situation fucked her up. How after she’d recorded her testimony she’d boarded the next flight to Grand Rapids and hightailed it up north. She came crash landing into Traverse City because she’d always loved it as a kid, and figured it would be a great place to start over. The small town she’d grown up in had too many people who knew her. 
He was extra careful with bands for a while. Never letting her be alone in a room with too many male band members, and carefully vetting everyone who came through. Eventually she told him off about treating her like a porcelain doll and he backed down a bit, giving her free reign over lots of the equipment set ups and giving her plenty of hours in the shop by herself. She was happy to do so, so Levi could focus on fixing up the artist house and starting his photography again. 
But he was still very gentle with her sometimes, and she’d always love him for it even when it pissed her the fuck off. 
Once she’d smoked the joint down to the roach, she tucked the end into her pocket. It was sacrilegious to litter near the lake. It was too precious to be fucked with. She meandered back toward the shop. Her plan was to grab her bag and head back to let her Pitbull, Stacy, out for a walk and pee. The girl had been cooped up all morning and Maven felt bad. 
She threw her whole body against the front door, as the latch often stuck, and the loud sound of the chimes clanged in the empty space. She rolled her eyes. Of course Levi left the shop unattended and unlocked. It was Traverse City, no one was gonna rob them, but what if someone wanted to buy something? 
She was humming softly to herself as she made her way around the edge of the counter and plopped down on the stool by the register. She whipped out her phone to ask Levi where he was. She had the message halfway typed when the door behind her, the one that led to the staff restroom, popped open. 
“You know, crime is especially low in this town but that doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t come in here and try to steal your precious coffee maker.” She tossed over her shoulder. 
“Oh.” Was all that came back. It was decidedly not Levi’s voice. Maven spun back quickly. 
“Sorry I…” But that’s as far as she got. She was suddenly face to face with Jake Kizska and all thoughts quickly left her brain. 
They both stared at each other for a long moment. Maven couldn’t quite figure out why he looked just as shocked to see her as she was to see him. He also almost looked afraid for some reason that Maven couldn’t figure out.
He was dressed in an outfit she’d seen him wear plenty of times. A black button up, half unbuttoned, loose fitting light wash jeans and a pair of well worn boots. His wrists were full of bracelets and his hair was longer than the last time she’d seen footage of their concerts, well past his collarbones at this point. 
“Hi.” Jake finally broke the silence. “I’m Jake.” He reached out his hand for a handshake. 
“I know.” Maven replied, and then coughed. Why did you say that you freak? 
Suddenly the front door bell chimed again, and Maven whipped her head to see Levi coming in the front door. She stood abruptly from her stool, skirted around Jake’s outstretched hand, and out from behind the counter. She scooped up her leather satchel on her way. 
She headed straight at Levi. He glanced over his shoulder and saw an apologetic Jake looking forlorn and lowering his hand back to his side. 
“Oh hey Maven-” 
“Hey dumbass, don’t leave the store unattended again. I’m going home to check on Stacy. Probably won’t be back for the rest of the day.” Maven spit as she stormed past him toward the front door. 
“Maven wait-” 
But she was already outside, the hinges bringing the heavy wood crashing back into the frame. The chime of the bells rang through the space. 
“Sorry.” Jake muttered. 
“Not your fault. I knew she’d find out eventually. Right now she’s probably just pissed I didn’t tell her. Which she has every right to be.” Levi sighed. 
After a few more beats of silence Jake spoke again. “Who’s Stacy?” 
Levi huffed a laugh. “That would be her Pitbull.” 
“Oh.” Jake said again. He felt crazy because his brain couldn’t come up with anything else to say. She was prettier up close. She smelled like the Lake and weed and sandalwood. He really wished she’d taken his hand. He shook his head trying to find his brain in it somewhere. 
The other three boys came clambering up the stairs and into the store. They all looked between Levi, who was still standing in the middle of the shop, and Jake behind the counter. 
“Are you two playing freeze tag or something?” Sam quipped. 
“Jake met Maven.” Levi responded. The boys' heads whipped toward Jake. 
“And… I’m guessing it… went well?” Danny questioned.
Levi finally walked back toward the counter. “She left for the day. This is on me. I should have told her y’all were here.” He snagged his keys from below the counter and walked toward the front door to lock up. “I’m closing early, boys. Let’s go get a beer.” 
“Kowabunga baby.” Josh said with a grin.  
                                                     ~0~
Maven sat curled up on her velvet couch, Stacy was her little spoon. There was incense burning, a bottle of wine open on the side table and a lit joint in the ashtray. She had changed into a giant t-shirt and boxer shorts. The soft sounds of John Denver playing off her record player. 
However, none of these things were easing her mind. 
She was pissed, mostly. At herself. At Levi. She was pissed he didn’t tell her they were coming. She was pissed that he felt he couldn’t tell her. She was pissed that she had acted like a freak in front of Jake. 
The anxiety was an endless pit in her stomach. She couldn’t go back there tomorrow. She couldn’t see any of those people. Not when she felt like this. 
She whipped out her phone and quickly shot a message to Levi, before chugging her whole glass of red wine and snagging the joint out of the ashtray. 
                                                        ~0~
Levi’s phone dinged on the table where all of the guys sat drinking beers and chatting. Levi glanced at it and quickly picked it up when he saw her name. 
“It’s Maven.” He said. 
“What did she say?” Jake asked, sitting up a bit in his chair. 
“Fuck.” Levi said, tossing his phone on the table, still unlocked. 
All four boys leaned in to read the screen. 
CASHING IN ALL MY VACATION DAYS. I’LL BE OUT FOR TWO WEEKS. 
“Fuck indeed.” Josh said, pounding back the rest of his beer.
54 notes · View notes
itachi-with-a-chicken · 3 years ago
Text
Come be my teacher pt 2
Aish we're back
Link to part 1
Jung Hoseok nearly died to actually make publishable Yoongi's book
But eventually he made it
He hoped the day at the luna park was enough for Jungkook to be forgiven after spending nearly every afternoon with Namjoon and his kid brother
Mostly, he hoped Namjoon could forgive him to have to deal with both his child and his own kid brother
When he mentioned it, Namjoon has a variety of emotions.
Surprise, then recognition. Eventually softness.
"they have been good, all things considered." He laughs a little "Just warning you, Jungkook took a passion for Just Dance"
Well, Hoseok considers when he watches his son weirdly dancing in front of the television, there are worst things that could happen
Also, now that he has a life back, he can discard Min Yoongi in his man cave or whatever he likes to call his attic and go back to his routine
Which means, pick up and drive is kid to school
And see again the cute teacher
Not that he cares
But you know
He does
That day Kim Taehyung was wearing a dark green vest and a white shirt and looked as an absolute old man
His housemate confirmed it and if Kim Seokjin tells you you look bad, it's true
The thing is, Taehyung didn't want to look hot, he just wanted to look comfy and cozy to his kids
When he steps outside to collect the kids, he regretted every choice made that morning
Because there it was. In all his elegant glory. Jung Hoseok.
The two exchanged a small wave and Tae nearly forgot he has something to say to him
"Come on Taehyung" he tries to say to himself "he's just another parent. Nothing to worry about. Nothing special. Not a crush, no sir"
"Hoseok-ssi" he calls him. By his name, because the first thing Jung Hoseok told him as they met is "you're taking my son most of the week, we can at least call each other by our own names"
"yah?" He was already moving towards the car, dammit.
Stumbling at bit at the beginning, Tae tells him about the little recital he proposed to the school board that year
Hoseok beamed at him
"that sounds wonderful! kids will have loads of fun"
Taehyung was positively gloating, but tried to hide it
"so this week it's going to be parents-teachers conference, so we can explain every detail"
Nobody will pry from his cold hands the knowledge that the reason why it was happening that week was that Taehyung knew as a fact that Hoseok was busy until now
And also, that nobody knew about the meeting in the first place
The thing is, a meeting was supposed to happen at some point, and Taehyung was a very considerate teacher, okay?
He needed to tell the principal about the meeting, tho
Ugh
On the other hand, Hobi was quite serene.
The wonders of a full night sleep, he guessed
Nope nothing to do with the cute teacher and the cute vest that made him look cozy and cuddly and all the stuff a grown up should not look like
It would be a lie to say that it didn't do anything to Hoseok.
But then again, Hoseok can be a good liar
His phone chimed in, showing a text from Yoongi
"so did you ask him out?"
"who?" "What do you mean who" "i mean who would I ask out" "the teacher, dumbass"
Hoseok stared at the phone for a solid five seconds
"you don't even know what day of the week it is" "And yet I know you brought the little monster to school, so you've seen him"
For someone who forgets to eat, Yoongi can be really persistent about stuff
"why" he just asks, glancing away from his computer. If anything, he knows Yoongi has little to none interest in his love life by itself
Not after he finished all the people he could set him up, anyway
Including himself
That was so weird that both kinda decided it never happened
So back to the text, Hoseok patiently waited for whatever was the real reason behind such concern
"I may or may not started planning the next book based on whatever vibe you and your lovely teacher give off"
Hoseok shrieked, but just a little
"but you know!!! Most of the time the final product have nothing to do with the beginning!!!" Yoongi continues
Six exclamation point usually mean that he's either lying or trying to convince him of something he didn't actually believe in. So lying, after all.
"and what's the plot" hoseok asks, but then "no, nvm. Don't tell me. Just. Idk. No"
Yoongi didn't reply, but then his editorial instinct won over all his better judgement
"okay, tell me the plot"
Yoongi answer arrived after less then three minutes and it was a shit ton long. He basically already planned everything and all he needed was the main characters
"and they would be me and Kim Taehyung?" Was the only answer Hoseok managed to cave
Because yeah, if life was a written book maybe they could have been the perfect romance
Even by changing some basic stuff - "don't worry you're all idols here" - and making some unrealistic concessions - "your character is the greater dancer of all times" - the way Yoongi was telling the story
A story that didn't exist
makes him want to fall in love for real
But here's the catch: they were real people, and crush on your child's teacher is problematic at best, creepy at worst
So no, he won't be pursuing that. Thank you very much
(but gave yoongi permission to work on the story nevertheless because, you know, it's his job)
And he r e a l l y is set on his mind the day of the meeting after school
Doesn't matter that he exited work early just to go home and shower
And definitely didn't have anything to do with his choice of wardrobe that saw some neat jeans he had brought but never wore and his best fitting pastel red shirt
Along with a leather jacket because what the hell he was still young after all
And if some heads turned to check him out, when he entered the classroom, well. He couldn't blame them
He sat gingerly on his child desk and waited. Mr Kim still nowhere to be seen
Talking about Kim Taehyung
His day started the night before with his housemate that, in order to forget his impossible (only according to him) crush decided to have a drink
And since it would be too sad to drink alone, he had to bring Tae down with him
Little mattered he had to work the morning after and kids were not merciful with headache
He enters the room with the parents with eyes fixed on the floor, trying to remember everything he needed to say and--- oh
Of course Jung Hoseok was there
Of course he was stunning
And of cour-- no wait he was talking to Namjoon? What was he doing here?
Oh right. Mixed classes. His kids and mr Lee were together in this project.
Having the ten years old doing the talking and the eight years old doing the dancing was his idea after all
Mr Lee smiles at him, like the old turtle he was, and sat down, waiting for him to speak
The old turtle seemed frail and sweet but he remembered being a child with him. It was all a play
Which makes him perfect for this project, he guess
So, let's convince the parents he knew what he was doing and what he was talking about despite never producing any school play
It went fairly well for the most of it
Every time he met Hoseok's stare, the other man was smiling, and that made him feel both excited and incredibly shy
But mostly gives him enough confidence at least finish the presentation of the general idea
When parents asked questions - price, time needed, how the parts would have been distributed - he tries to be as clear as he can
And hopes nobody will actually spot how much he still doesn't know
Eventually, the questions are over and the meeting is too, with a copy of the project to take home and a promise to see each other as soon as possible
Tae was putting in order his papers, trying carefully to not perceive either Hoseok nor Namjoon, but of course karma hates him
So a few of his pages fly down the desk, right in front of. Well. Of course Hoseok. Who else
It's not like he could have the worst face in the history of faces and just have his life passing by
No, he had to live his 5-hours-sleep-10-hours-work while wearing his most anonymous clothes and have something less of a Idol staring at his face
Wait
He was staring
He said something
He said absolutely something and Tae was just too far away in his head to hear anything oh my--
"everything alright?" Hoseok asked, and the question clearly triggered Namjoon attention, because he came close too
"ye-what-ye sure. I'm sorry, I must be a bit tired. Hi, Namjoon-ah"
Hoseok smiles at him, but Taehyung makes a weird face at the other man
Well, they clearly knew each other enough to drop some honorifics
Probably wasn't the first time Namjoon came instead of his parents to school stuff like this, Hoseok always knew he was a good big brother
"You did great" the young man says, to which Taehyung smiles a little. Namjoon walks over them but doesn't stop, heading towards the door
"I gotta go now, Hoseok-ssi, see you Tuesday. Tae, see you around"
"Watch your steps" both Tae and Hoseok say, which surprised them, but proved them right when Namjoon bumped into a desk
Then it was only them. And Tae knew it's gonna be awkward really soon.
"so, how you know him?" He asks. Oh, Jungkook babysitter. Makes sense
"and you?"
Taehyung makes a weird face, half displeasure.
"I'll tell you in the parking lot, I'll feel less irresponsible if I'm not at work"
Hoseok felt he has to decline and go straight home
Also stop asking about the private life of his kid's teacher and babysitter
Because that was none of his business
But he was a nice person and nice people listen to what others have to say, right?
43 notes · View notes
mgsdays · 4 years ago
Note
Thank u for always being so sweet and insightful with your asks!!! i love you 🥰
AnYWAYSs, I wanted to ask you a question particular to the timeline of 19days. We have about 300+ chaps of current flashbacks and present time. Do you think, little by little, we will see more present time dynamics? I know this is the SLOWEST of slow burns and I’m wondering that maybe this is how OX wanted to write; maybe they wanted to show that the past is a reflection of their current present selves? Idk im just rambling here but I think that the past connects to their future selves; it explains to us WHY ZZX and JY have that dynamic in the current time, why MGS and HT still banter, etc. i think OX shows us flashbacks from the past to let us understand how these characters really FEEL about their love interest. its a very interesting way to show character development. I think all these flashbacks are building up to something- I don’t know what but they seem really important and we still dont know HOW JY and HT left so yah thats my theory. What do you think? Another question; how do you think MGS and ZZX will realize their feelings in the future time? A lot of the OX art, as you said, shows these boys comfortably loving their partners so Im wondering as well 🤔 We even see HT and MGS with the couple rings so will we see that too?? I hope we do :(( I think it makes sense that we’ll see them as partners eventually- I mean, we have seen a lot of character development till now with only 300 chaps. Little by little, I think we’re gonna get the end product ☺️
I just hope Im alive to see it happen!
Hey love! Thank you for the message, you were so sweet 😊
I am… more pessimistic about future chapters. More than you, in either case haha
I believe we are building up to the boys leaving, but I do not believe we will see much of a future where the couples have figured things out. I’d love to be proven wrong, just to make it clear, but I don’t think so.
I love your point about the past being a reflection of their futures selves. My theory is that the past chapters serve as a way for Old Xian to give us enough info to presume what happens in the future. Kind of a ‘fill in the blanks’ kind of thing. The past chapters show us the boys’ desires and fears and they explain the motivation behind the boys’ actions. The little snippets into their lives allow us to understand a lot about the characters.
They also give Old Xian a way to write a BL without ever really going there.
Chinese censorship is strong. I don’t think we understand the extent of it from the outside. Some BL authors have been sent to jail. There’s a news story from Nov. 2020 that Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, author of the novel for The Untamed, has been sentenced to 3 years. The details of the case, if true, were not disclosed and we don’t know if they were found guilty or not. A woman who wrote a gay themed novel was sentenced to ten years, that one we know for a fact. China allegedly decided to pull The Untamed from streaming services and to halt production of shows that were being made based on BL books.
This is serious deal. Nothing even happens in those stories. The Untamed is based in a romance novel but it completely removed all explicit romance references for the show. Nothing happens it was still pulled! (after it was done! You make zero yuans by censoring a show that already exists. And yet…).
It really sounds like China is cracking down on content that goes against their morality code. Imagine you’re an artist there. Would you risk everything to make your characters date?
For Old Xian, their art is their livelihood. They make 19 days for the exposure and then use their official platforms to post ads that they draw through Mosspaca Advertising Company. If Old Xian explicitly drew the boys in relationships they’d be risking that platform and could even be putting themselves in danger. (Sometimes Old Xian draws relatively tame art and still deletes and reposts an even tamer version. Old Xian is impacted by censorship. The exposure they have doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be safe. Imagine them drawing two explicit relationships.)
TL; DR:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Or, TL;DR: HT and JY leave before the boys have enough time to figure things out. The past gives Old Xian plenty of room to write a beautiful story without crossing censorship laws, and leave us to fill in the blanks about their future.
About how I think it happens, I answered earlier today about zhanyi. For tianshan, I think they get together without Mo ever confessing, exactly. In the future Mo has been aware of He Tian’s feeling for forever. Mo knows. I’ll die on this hill. He knows. When Mo really goes through puberty, really starts experiencing desire himself, I think all of his wants unavoidably circle back to HT. Mo would be somewhat aware of his own feelings for years. 
After HT comes back, one day Mo is just so tired of the frustration, the tension between them, He Tian’s years apart, everything, that Mo just kisses He Tian.
He Tian’s surprised for five seconds. 
Then he catches up. 
He pushes in until he has Mo pressed against a wall. Mo’s gasping, a filthy sound echoing low in the space between them, Mo’s fingers sink into He Tian’s hair for the trouble, pulling tight against He Tian’s scalp. It only spurs He Tian on, He Tian groans against Mo’s lips and presses in even harder- rest is history. Mo allows their dynamic to shift from there. 
I think the sexual part may be easier for Mo to deal with in the future than his own feelings. They stay in this kind of relationship for a long time. 
I imagine X many years into it Mo blurts out his love like it’s obvious, like they both have know about it for forever. I loved this text post. I imagine something like this, Mo says he loves He Tian while cursing He Tian out for whatever and saying a million other things. He Tian freezes in the doorway. He knew but still. Hearing it out loud makes his heart race in his chest. Mo loves him, Mo loves him, Mo loves him. He Tian would be whistling to himself the rest of the year. Mo would find it the most annoying thing ever.
(But, secretly, he’d like it. Mo would like being able to make He Tian feel this way, a warmth blossoming on Mo’s chest at the thought.)
60 notes · View notes
moneymingyu · 4 years ago
Text
Like in The Movies
summary: in which hoshi watches way too many romance movies and has too many friends who like to watch him suffer.
word count: 2.7k words
pairing: nonidol!hoshi x reader
genre: fluff, comedy
a/n: not very proof read bc i’m super exhausted and my eyes are barely opened atm.
master list
Hoshi has always had this romanticized version of himself playing in the back of his mind.
The cool dude next to the jukebox with a leather jacket who flips a coin then plays the soundtrack to his life. The guy who you spill coffee all over in a Seattle coffee shop then exchange numbers as a form of an apology. The best friend you ask to fake date before realizing he’s been the one for you since day one. The enemy to lover, the boy next door, the childhood best friend you reunite with after years of separation. He partly blames it on all of the movies he watched growing up. A guilty pleasure of his has always been romance movies that he’d watch deep into the night when everything was still and calm. His favorites were the kinds that had him struggling to keep his hiccup at bay, the kinds that made him cry so hard that he’d wake up the next day with swollen eyes and a headache.
“Aren’t you tired of these movies?” Jihoon, his long time best friend and roommate, would ask.
“Never,” Hoshi would reply, unashamed.
He’s seen them all. The Notebook, More Than Blue, The Names of Love, Love Actually. Hoshi can quote them line by line with the same blocking. His friends think it’s impressive but Jihoon is tired of walking into the kitchen at 2AM just to see a Broadway musical in place.
So you’d think that somebody who is basically a book smart Romeo would have a better dating history but...Not Hoshi.
Look. It’s not Hoshi’s fault he’s so awkward. He didn’t ask for the lonely life! The lonely life chose him! So what if romance movies are the only way that he can feel butterflies in his stomach. Whose business is it other than his own?
“Hey Hosh! Remember that time freshman year your crush asked you to the spring fling and you responded by doing a tiger growl at them?”
“Oh my god, I almost forgot about that!” Jun covers his face, bursting into giggles at Jihoon’s trip down memory lane. “He got called a furry for the rest of the year!”
“Oh yeah? And who sat and ate lunch with said furry for the rest of the year?” Hoshi crosses his arms. “Till the day, you’re still eating lunch with the said furry!” A few head turn their way, giving the table an incredulous look. Hoshi sinks in his chair, silently wishing that the floor open and swallow him hole.
“Well maybe that’s because said furry is paying today,” Wonwoo smirks, swiping a fry from Hoshi’s plate.
“Aw, not you too!” Hoshi pouts. “Wonwoo, I put all my faith into you and this is what I get? Slander like a salamander?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Jun (who, in Hoshi’s opinion, has said way more questionable things) asks with raised eyebrows.
“Nevermind. It sounded better in my head.” Hoshi sighs, pressing his fingers to his temples.
“C’mon Hoshi,” Wonwoo leans his head on his shoulder. “You know I was kidding. I would sit with you even if you were a real furry.”
“Can we stop talking about furries?!”
“Yo. What do you got against furries? We don’t kink shame around here.”
“Jun, if you say one more thing, I’m going to do an eagle screech right here.”
“That’s not really helping with the furry situation,” Jun mumbles under his breath.
Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.
-
“I’m sure somebody likes you, Soon!” Seungkwan offers. “What about the dance studio? Lots of potential there,” he shimmies his shoulders while Dokyeom nudged him from the other side of the couch.
These are his people, he thinks as they watch My Sassy Girl for the tenth time this week.
“He’s right! You’re always a ball of confidence there! Why not try to pick somebody up? Oh!” Dokyeom looks like a lightbulb has gone off inside his head. “What about the receptionist? They’re cute! I heard they’re single too and with Valentine’s Day coming up-“
“Dokyeom! Don’t talk about the V word!”
“Virginity?”
“The other V-word!”
“V-vagi-“
“VALENTINES DAY!” Seungkwan smacks his hand over his mouth like the saying had seared his tongue.
“Oh my god, Valentine’s Day is coming up!” Hoshi whines, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. “I’m going to be alone again!”
“Hey! You always spend Valentine’s Day with us!” Dokyeom frowns.
“We’re going to be alone again!” he moans out.
Seungkwan scoffs. “Speak for yourself. I have a date.”
This causes Soonyoung’s head to snap up. “Huh? A date?” Seungkwan nods, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. “Ah, c’mon! Who is it! You know you wanna tell us!”
“I would tell you if I knew who it was,” Seungkwan sighs, falling back into the couch. “Vernon and Dino set me up on a blind date. Wait? Should I ask them to set you up on one too? You know, Dino’s really good at using Tinder. He made me a profile and then swiped with matches for me and now I’m going on a blind date! Wait, should me and Dokyeom make you one? Quick Dokyeom, what would be the anthem to Hoshi’s life?”
Hoshi gawks at how quick his friends are to move. Seungkwan already has the dating app open while Dokyeom searches up the Les Misérable soundtrack. “Can you guys not?” Hoshi frowns.
But it’s too late. His words are unheard as Dokyeom starts to belt out the words to “Do You Hear the People Sing?” all while Seungkwan is editing pictures of Hoshi for his profile picture.
Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.
-
“Thanks for inviting me out, Joshua! I needed some new shoes.”
Joshua is one of the sanest people Hoshi knows. Hoshi thinks it’s because he’s from LA and the people from LA in all the movies he’s watched are super carefree and accepting.
“Don’t mention it,” Joshua smiles while shoving his feet into a pair of slides. “Jeonghan broke my slides yesterday while taking out the trash and tried to pin it on Kkuma. Seungcheol then lectured us for two hours about how we shouldn’t blame things on his daughter then made Jeonghan transfer me the money.”
“Isn’t Kkuma a dog?..” Hoshi smiles from the bench across from him.
“You know Cheol,” Joshua chuckles. “Actually, I also invited you out because I have to ask you a favor! You can object, of course, and I won’t be mad.” Hoshi nods, signaling the older to go on. “Well, actually...The three of us are going away for the weekend. And we usually ask Mingyu and Myungho to watch Kkuma when we’re gone but Myungho has this giant art exhibition and Mingyu’s working double shifts at his bakery so-“ he shrugs. “I think you know where I’m going with this. Could you dog sit Kkuma for us? I’m sure Jihoon will be fine with it. But if you have plans for the Valentine’s Day weekend-“
“No!” Hoshi sighs in relief. “Please give me Kkuma. I’m begging at this point!” Joshua laughs, nodding his head. “You really saved my ass, hyung. The guys are trying to set me up on a blind date but I checked out Seungkwan’s phone while he was in the bathroom and none of them were my type.”
“Consider it a deal,” Joshua smiles, reaching across and ruffling his hair. “Knew I could count on you, Soonie.” Hoshi smiles. He’s so glad to have a friend like Joshua. He really keeps his sanity in tact.
-
Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest new friends for the sake of his sanity.
Kkuma has been barking nonstop all night, whining and crying and even peed in Hoshi’s brand new pair of shoes.
Hoshi doesn’t even know why Kkuma hates him so much but the dog’s antics are enough to have Jihoon packing up and telling him he’ll be back Monday afternoon before leaving to Jun and Wonwoo’s apartment. To make matters worse, Joshua told Hoshi that their trip was technology free so that they could “become spiritually woke.” So any hopes of calling for advice is hopeless.
Hoshi doesn’t understand why Kkuma hates him. He’s a very likeable guy, in his opinion. Bobpul (Mingyu’s dog) would never treat him like this.
“Kkuma, please!” he whines. “I’m standing up a date for this! Please spare me some mercy!” he cries out. The dog jumps up and barks repeatedly. He rubs his eyes over his face. “I don’t understand how something so tiny can make so much noise!”
He rubs his temples. “Okay. If I were Seungcheol, what would I do? Think like Seungcheol. What would Seungcheol do?” Hoshi pouts his lips, puffs out his chest and lowers his voice. “Yah! Kim Mingyu! Watch where you’re walking!” he imitates him from the thousands of times the group has hung out.
He holds the position for a couple of seconds before deflating. “I can’t even hear myself think!” he groans over the barking. “You haven’t even slept yet! Aren’t you tired?” Suddenly an idea pops into his mind.
“I know! Let’s go to the park! Maybe that’ll tire you out! Would you like that? Let’s go!” And they’re off within ten minutes.
It’s a nice day out, thankfully. Warm but not too hot. And though Kkuma is jumping with joy to be at the park, Hoshi thinks he’d rather be at home listening to the dog’s endless whining when he sees the grassy area is packed with couples having a picnic.
He can’t hate, honestly. Picnics are cliché and Hoshi is all for clichés. But it does remind him that today is Valentine’s day and he’s the only one here without somebody to hold hands with.
“Kkuma, you’ll be my Valentine. Right?” he asks as he unclips her leash. But sadly, the dog has other plans as she runs off to play with another dog.
He sighs, plopping down in the grass and picking at the blades. He can’t believe that Kkuma ditched him. After Hoshi bought a new frisbee just for them to play with! He’s deeply offended and will not let Seungcheol live it down when he comes back.
He gives up trying to braid the grass and leans back on his hands, watching the other couples and making up stories about them in their head. He guesses how they met, what their plans are for the day and almost plays it out like a movie in his head.
He’s contemplating becoming a director but then decides that’s too hard and decides maybe he should try writing fanfiction on Archive of Our Own. He’s already picking out his favorite ships from Monsta X when he suddenly hears a shriek from behind him.
“Oh no!” the person whines. “I can’t believe I stepped in dog-“
“Shit!” Hoshi pops up as he sees Kkuma standing at the sidewalk. He sees the disgruntled look on your face then looks down at Kkmua, who looks the happiest she’s been since Hoshi got her. “Hi!” he says rather worriedly. “I’m so sorry! This is my fault! I wasn’t watching Kkuma and to be honest, this dog kind of hates me but here!” He shoves a packet of tissues he had in his back pocket into your hands. “You can have these! Wait I think I have wet wipes in my bag. Just give me a second and,” he drops to his knees, fumbling with his backpack, “Kkuma is just a baby but I promise she’s not usually like this! She’s so well behaved but I think she has some kind of hidden agenda against me because her dad took me out to eat pork belly the other week. Oh! Here they are! Here, do you want me to wipe it off for you? I don’t mind! It’s my fault and plus, I’ve been picking up Kkuma’s dog poop all day. For somebody so small, she sure does poop a lot! And-“ Hoshi suddenly freezes, a heat rising up from the back of his neck onto his cheeks and into his ears.
Seriously?! he thinks. You seriously went on a rant about dog poop! Just when I thought I had some hope in you, Soonyoung, you prove me wrong again! You’re gonna die alone! You hear me? ALONE!
Hoshi slowly brings himself up from his kneeling position. “I mean...” he awkwardly laughs. And to his surprise, you laugh back. But not in a mocking way like people usually do. You seem genuinely amused by his rant.
“Hey, it’s fine. I’m over it,” you giggle. “I just have to be dramatic about it first.” Hoshi nods slowly, too scared to say anything else. “My names YN.”
“Soonyoung,” he bows slightly. “But my friends call me Hoshi.”
“Oh! Like tiger gaze?” you ask, making claws at him for emphasis.
“Oh! Uh! Exactly, actually!” he grins.
You nod. “I think I’ve heard of you actually,” you explain. “My friend works at Seventeen Dance Company and he’s always talking about his funny friend Hoshi.”
“Oh? Who’s your friend? I must know them!”
“It’s Minghao,” you reply. “I was actually on my way to his art exhibition.” Hoshi nods his head, understanding. “Were you not going to go?”
“Myungho doesn’t like when our friend group goes to his art exhibitions. We got fired after Mingyu had one too many drinks and started to strip talking about some ‘life imitates art’ while standing next to a bust.” His face flushes an even deeper red. “I’m sorry! I don’t know when to shut up sometimes. I’m not good at this.”
You shrug, “I’m having fun.”
“Really?” Hoshi gasps.
You nod. “Yeah. Now c’mon, give me those wet wipes. You’re gonna come with me to Hao’s event. He told me I can bring a plus one and the venue is pet friendly!”
-
“And that’d how I met YN!” Hoshi grins at the round table of his friends.
“I can’t believe romance movie enthusiast met the person of his dreams over dog poop,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I’m taking full credit for this relationship, by the way. I call best man at the wedding.”
“What? Why do you get credit?!” Seungkwan rebuttals.
“Because the weekend get away was my idea,” he smirks.
“Yeah well Kkuma is my dog so I should be the best man!” Seungcheol argues.
“Hold up. If it weren’t for me and Seungkwan making Hoshi a tinder, who knows what would’ve happened this weekend while he was avoiding us,” Dokyeom points outs out, crossing his arms.
“But Vernon and I were the ones who taught Seungkwan how to even use tinder!” Dino retorts.
Jun scoffs, “You guys wouldn’t even know what tinder was if it weren’t for me and Wonwoo.”
“But I’m his roommate so I get automatic best man rights,” Jihoon says.
“Yeah but YN is my friend and she was heading to my exhibition so by default, I’m going to be the best man because I didn’t even kick Hoshi out when he showed up.”
“Yeah, still offended,” Mingyu rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say sorry until you accept my apology?!”
“Until I’m not known as the artist who had a quote unquote ‘model’ take his clothes off in the middle of my show so that I could prove that life can imitate art!”
Hoshi shakes his head and laughs as the argument wages on with you tucked under his chin.
“Are they always like that?” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes.
“Yeah but...I don’t think I’d trade them for the world,” Hoshi replies, smiling.
It’s right then and there that Hoshi decides that he has all the friends that he needs and for the sake of his sanity, he will have to keep them. They did, after all, lead them to you.
49 notes · View notes
barbika1508 · 4 years ago
Text
Hiwaga (Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader)
Part 3
Words: 13,9k
Genre: Soulmate AU, Reincarnation AU, Enemies to Lovers, Action, Romance, Smut
Pairing: Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Gore and Blood, Beheading - Violence, Fighting, Death
Summary: Life was good, playing out better than it has been ever before. My future was bright and full of promises and wishes coming to realization. All up until she showed up. She stormed though the front doors ruining everything along the way by her mere presence derailing my goals and purpose in life. A puny mortal, a child, a complete nuisance, and yet…The key to an unimaginable life, to the truth all along.
Author's note: Hiwaga – mystery; full of wonder Words in italics are dialogues or thoughts that Jeongguk reads from others. Dictionary is down bellow if anyone is interested by certian words Appearance of Monsta x, K.A.R.D., Got7
Tumblr media
Jeongguk’s POV:
‘’Well isn’t this very ominous. Not a vibe.’’
A deep sigh follows ‘’Can you stop with the vibe meme thing?’’ curiously I glance towards Yoongi hyung who is for the first time actually looking annoyed by the human’s behaviour. I’ve always expected her to act as she is right now actually, having been laughing and joking around with Jimin and Hobi hyung not even 5 minutes ago, the three of them watching a comedy special. I did join them mid-way having gotten used to her less now bothersome laughter, that I think I can pick up on from anywhere in the house.
But this is the first time that hyung - who showed favouritism and defended her even when she was acting like a complete brat – is actually annoyed. Glancing at my brothers they’re all looking grim the situation demanding us all to behave accordingly and serious. But looking at the girl she keeps on a bright grin having arrived last – human’s bodies are useless, having to eat, sleep and go to bathrooms is just time consuming and at have inappropriate timings too.
She raises her hands up in surrender lips going into a thin line in an attempt to stop smiling.
I hold back the eyeroll in favour of focusing onto the meeting instead – and acting accordingly. I’m standing near the corner of the table, with Yoongi hyung standing on my left in the middle of it and Taehyung having staked claim to stand on his left side. Jin stands at the head of the table, the human opposite of him clearly missing the whole point as she loudly tugs out the heavy wooden chair having clearly underestimated its weight as it rattles against the ground loudly. She does have some decency and blushes but makes quick progress of sitting herself down, not making any extra noises after that. Across us are Hoseok hyung, Namjoon is in the middle with scrolls stacked before him and his notebook that’s scribbled to the brim it looks like. Jimin hyung is next to him standing relatively serious, hair looking brightly neon orange as he re-dyed it yesterday.
The table the last time I saw it was a chaotic mess of stacked books, papers and random things strewn around it like cups, scattered pencils and so on. The library reflected the chaos the last time I’ve helped Y/N moving things around, and sort of cleaned piles of books she’s gotten out carelessly…okay we’ve gotten preoccupied discussing Overwatch strategy, and talking about music and filming things in general. It was odd to find her interests being so similar to my own and her actual knowledge at some points that greatly preceded my knowledge.
Back to the matter at hand – the library was put back in place. I know it was dusted and whipped down as the smell of a wood cleaner is present and lingering in the air. The table has improved as well containing much less contents and miscellaneous items, while books and like I’ve mentioned some scrolls remain. But the topic of our sudden meeting is the purple and golden detailed piece of folded paper that has been placed in the middle of the table. It’s staring at us menacingly in a way.
‘’We’ve all been graciously invited to the Crown Prince’s ball, as you might have guessed yourselves from the bold invitation that was sent to us.’’ Jin hyung starts standing straight but has both hands placed onto the table ‘’Its due to happen in South Chungcheong Province. 3 days from now.’’
At the human’s obvious movement, my eyes almost automatically dart down as I watch her sort of crawl over the table, hand reaching for the letter. Nobody stops her to my surprise as she snatches it and backs into her seat, her lazy-like manner now gone as she sits straightened up eyebrows furrowed as her eyes dart over the paper, examining it all around.
‘’That’s a very short notice isn’t it? Unorthodox.’’ Hoseok murmurs standing with one arm crossed over his chest while the other resting atop of it, as he’s propping his head with his hand looking lost in thought.
‘’Doesn’t it usually take a week for the word to get out?’’ Jimin asks eyes focused on Taehyung who is nodding, and shifts onto his left foot.
‘’I’ve already asked around, but judging by the tone of the messages the lower tier covens and some individuals weren’t invited.’’ He explains the whole circumstance suspicious making my stomach churn which in usual settings wouldn’t be even a bother ‘’They laughed at the mere location when I mentioned it more to detail.’’
‘’Well they all have good reason to!’’ Jimin states ‘’It’s very unconventional of Wangja to organize anything in a smaller city as Nonsan is!’’
I simply nod in confirmation not having much to say about the matter. I’ve found it’s usually best to listen to Namjoon and Yoongi hyung who always know the ins and outs on any sort of manner. Crossing my arms, I shift on my legs out of habit to look more human than for convenience.
‘’The Prince has some ties to that province.’’ Namjoon hyung starts ‘’I’m sure he has bought out a business there, farms of strawberries or rice. But I doubt that’s the reason that he wants to brag about.’’ He looks at Yoongi hyung who has his eyes averted. I try following his eye line and at what he’s staring at – a pile of books? But as I narrow my eyes, I do get an inkling of which books he’s interested in. The golden one.
‘’Nonsan you say?’’ Y/N says for the first time in a while. She has slumped back into the chair, holding open the invitation one hand propped on the table the other one sort of wrapped around herself. Silly human, even though we’re going through summer in the midst of it, this mansion is big and luxurious, the marble providing coldness rather than containing heat. So, it can get cold for the human if she’s underdressed, the night providing more of the difference in temperature than day. And currently it is night-time.
‘’Modern equivalent of what used to be Deogeun and Hwangsan.’’ Yoongi speaks up gently, his eyes like a hawk watching the mortal, as she places the invitation onto the table atop of papers carelessly. She meets hyung’s eyes briefly, both of her hands sort of hugging herself, the white spotted blouse she has on clearly not providing enough heat. She’s sort of in a business attire today, the pants being grey-ish beige, meaning Taehyung must have dressed her. The particularness of the blouse is that her chest is sort of just there, two of the top buttons undone. Her collarbones nicely stand out, the golden necklace’s she’s wearing a perfect addiction to highlight her sun-kissed skin. The scars aren’t even bothersome, they just add something more to her. And unlike her usual pulled back hairstyle, she has actually put effort and has curled her hair, that fall over her shoulders nicely in waves.
‘’That’s oddly specific, history wise.’’ Hoseok is the first one to comment on their exchange, everyone starting to look between the two in confusion. Y/N sigh still looking unbothered frowning, as she fiddles with the edge of the book that’s closes to her. Something is bothering her.
‘’History buffs.’’ Yoongi replies ‘’Its why she’s here.’’ Everyone turns to look at him. But even as nerves are starting to eat at me, I can’t take my eyes away from her, noticing more details like the makeup which she put on. I kind of prefer her without it. Of course, the mascara lengthens her lashes, but the powder hides her natural tone and small imperfections that she has. Her lips do look plump the rosy nude lipstick making me think that she must taste like peaches for some reason.
‘’Yah Y/N-ah not only do you speak languages as in plural and many, you’re also learning our history as well?? Next thing you’re going to tell us you were a general in your previous life!’’ Hoseok jokes, prompting everyone to smirk, as they stare at her.
But the smile she puts on is fake and half-hearted. I’ve learned how to read though her facial expression rather easily, and how she can mask away her inner feelings which reflect on her heart beat, and breathing steadiness.
‘’You wish.’’ She mumbles almost awkwardly ‘’So the invitation…’’ she straightens up, goosebumps rising over her forearms ‘’…he wants me to come.’’ Her expression hardens like I haven’t seen before. She is sort of glaring at hyung in accusation.
‘’Yes, and that comes out of the question.’’ He immediately states crossing his arms, as I let my own fall to my sides, finger itching to the end of the bombard jacket I’ve put on earlier, wanting to try it out finally.
‘’I second that.’’ To I think everyone’s surprise Namjoon speaks up.
‘’Agreed.’’ Jin nods, staring seriously at the human girl.
‘’It’s not like he’s giving us the option.’’ She replies back almost through grinded teeth as she crosses her arms, hands briefly running up and down her biceps as to warm up.
‘’No Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi persists, while I start to shrug off my jacket ‘’You do realize you’re a lamb wanting to walk straight into a pack of bloodsucking leeches, right?’’
Silently I had her the jacket, which she accepts without questions sparing me a glance. Her eyes seem to have hardened, lips in a thin line briefly softening once her gaze is on me. But she’s quick to sober up so to speak, slipping her arms into the too long sleeves.
‘’Not to be rude or anything, but where exactly am I as of right now?’’ she narrows her eyes at him. To everyone’s surprise Yoongi hyung growls, the action prompting me to take a step to the side towards her. It isn’t until a moment later when hyung’s red eyes find my own, that I realized what I’m doing.
‘’Its different Y/N-ah. We want to protect you, that’s not that hard to comprehend.’’ Jin speaks up as I continue and hold onto Yoongi’s glare ‘’It’s obvious he wants to take advantage…’’ he doesn’t directly say but we know he what he means and why exactly the prince wants her for himself ‘’…and we are not going to let him do that. He isn’t entitled to you or anyone. He isn’t even a member of the ancients for fuckssake he doesn’t have that much power.’’
As Yoongi’s gaze flicks away I turn to watch the human as she rolls up the sleeves until her hand peek out. Tugging the front together she sorts of disappears into the jacket, looking smaller and younger all of the sudden. Anger begins to crawl underneath my skin, at the mere thought of the prince having his way with her. Even if she knows how to fight with a sword, she is defenceless.
‘’He really doesn’t.’’ Taehyung starts standing with his hands in his pockets looking very serious and almost angry ‘’I can get the guards of the ancients to pay attention to this matter. Just need a few days, but in the mean time I’ll get you the best of the best to keep you safe…’’
She’s already shaking her head ‘’I’m not staying behind.’’ She says standing up, the chair that she pushes away making a gods awful noise of protest in the tension of the room ‘’And this is reason enough as to why I cannot, and most definitely won’t stay behind.’’ she grabs for the invitation and raises it up, her hand quick to grab for the lighter that was discharged on the table, next to the candle on the candle stand. Nobody stops her as she turns the lighter up hovering the flame over the corner of the fancy paper.
I simply blink a few times tilting my head, as I watch it not take aflame. Instead the purple starts to fade out, a mark making itself present to all of us. I’ve missed that completely earlier when scanning the page – sparing a glance to the others so have they.
Just as she’s done burning the page, Namjoon is at her side taking the paper gently from her delicate fingers. I don’t miss once she lets go of the lighter, she rubs her fingers together. Careless human.
‘’A lion with an open and closed book. Side by side.’’ I frown at the symbol not being familiar with it. Shouldn’t it be a tiger as they are a symbol of Korea? Why are lions making so many appearances?
‘’What does that mean?’’ Jimin asks right behind Namjoon, who is examining the invitation once more, making sure he’s looking at every inch of it.
‘’Lions? Aren’t they tied to Europe? Egypt? Iran?’’ Taehyung mumbles walking human speed over to the three while Hoseok’s gaze is fixated on Yoongi, who is glaring at the golden book, Jin hyung’s jaw set tight.
‘’Venice.’’ Y/N replies instead holding a defensive position as she has her arms crossed as well, looking indifferent at this whole situation ‘’A lion with an open book means peace. Closed means war. Its rather simple.’’
‘’Start a war or maintain peace.’’ Jin states gathering everyone’s attention back to him. He looks conflicted eyes darting from one to another ‘’If Y/N-ah doesn’t come, that means we’ll be engaging ourselves into a war. And if Y/N-ah does come…’’ he trails off nose scrunching up for a moment as he looks away.
‘’A spoil of war.’’ Yoongi speaks up finally voice low ‘’In either case.’’ He glances at me briefly but his eyes snap to Y/N. She’s actually pacing back and forth side to side, a spring to her step confusing me. She was all grim and serious a moment ago, that typical stubbornness she tends to show more often than not newly present – and now replaced with something that I can’t exactly put my finger on.
It has me itching to move, itching to just shake her. Shake everyone else. We are being blackmailed. Nobody dares to do that to our coven, to Jin hyung let alone Yoongi who is a well renowned elder a general, a fighter and great conqueror even.
‘’It’s not going to end like that.’’ Jimin says upset stepping back over to the table ‘’He won’t just outplay us like that! We’re better than these petty mind games and childish treats.’’ He snarls in the end, Tae at his side, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
‘’We’re not going to bow down that easily.’’ He confirms eyes for a moment flashing icy blue the motion showing how upset he really is.
‘’We can’t just defy him either.’’ Hoseok states angrily ‘’I don’t need to remind you what happened the last time, that prick didn’t get his way.’’
His words only spur my anger on, the helplessness that floods me for a moment enraging me as this whole situation has my lungs losing air. It’s suffocating. Not having entirely, the upper hand its odd – we’ve worked years to establish ourselves in the world and for others to leave us alone. Right now, all that hard work is toppling down. And all due to a mere human. She’s going to die in two decades either way! Why is everyone stressing out so much to protect her?! Why am I filled with so much dread, that it stops me from breathing, or moving at all as I feel like any wrong more, I’m going to cause a domino effect and cause it all to head to ruin.
Thinking about Hoseok words we’ve all heard the slaughter of the whole town that happened 60 years ago. The prince wanted a newly turned vampire girl that was supposedly destined to her maker. The Crescent Moon coven, was a strong one fit with warriors from the Joseon Dynasty – they were all ready to lie their lives down. And that’s exactly what happened. The prince a weakling himself armed with a measly ability of brief paralysis never gets his hands dirty – he bid other covens sister covens of the crescent moon coven to kill them all off. So, in the end he got his toy, and in the process a reputation that has even other covens on other continents hesitate.
‘’Well, with that lovely set of bad news, I’m gonna go get drunk. Who’s with me?’’ her voice is way too cheerful for the situation and the mess she’s in the centre of. I look at her incredulously as she lulls backwards clapping her hands once, the smile unfitting to rest over her softened features. Even though her eyes seem to remain stony her whole demander changes.
‘’Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi mutters sounding exasperated and very tired, looking paler than usual as he looks at her in defeat.
‘’Hey, I know this is a lot right now, but I really don’t think that...’’ Jin hyung is cut short as she waves her hand in dismiss smirking.
‘’Oh, no, I was going to do it anyway. This just gives me a better excuse.’’ She replies cheerfully, her heart speeding up slightly, which she’s trying to mask by patting her thighs, as her hands keep moving around. She even winks as she glances at me. That’s what gets to me. All the dislike I’ve felt since she entered is back hitting me full force. This pesky mortal, this bug, this menace, this poor excuse of a human…
‘’Oh, so now you’re just going to go drink, are you?’’ I snap not holding myself back ‘’Drink away your sorrows and troubles, acting like a child instead of dealing with what seems to be your impending death?!’’ my voice rises in the end as I turn towards her properly ready to just…ugh!
‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ I pick up on Namjoon’s voice which usually I’d listen to and turn to him but it’s too late. This is between me and her.
She simply stands there and blinks at me perplexed heart beat picking up in speed ‘’Aren’t you afraid mortal?’’ I step forward right into her space glaring down at her ‘’You want to die, don’t you? You are just asking for it? You hide behind your neatly crafted masks, talking so much but not saying anything that matters! Nobody can say that they know you, the real you as you keep avoiding questions and situations…who even are you?!’’ I laugh manically in a way gaze hardening as she glares at me ‘’You’re disregarding everyone right now, you are spitting in their faces and laughing in the process at us!’’
‘’Don’t…’’ she starts sound angry, her chest almost rumbling like a growl for moment, but I’m not sure as my chest feels inflated ready to burst from how angry I am.
‘’Every single one of them cares for you! They are trying to come up with a plan, a fucking plan to keep you away and safe while you flaunt yourself without a single care in the world! I can end it all right now!!!’’ before I can properly think it through my hand reaches out fingers curling around her throat without actually putting any pressure.
But my sudden action has everyone jumping towards us, ready to intervene – with a single thought and expansion of my mind they all stop in their tracks their angry thoughts filling my mind at first, before I silence them up ‘’Just say the word and I’ll end your pathetic life, that you are so happily wasting away without a care of the men that practically took you in as one of them. I dare you.’’
Throughout this whole exchange, since the moment my fingers came in contact with the warmth of her skin, she hasn’t even flinched. Not even as I forced her head higher bending it awkwardly meant to frighten her. She keeps glaring at me in defiance, breathing harsh as I’ve got a hold on her oxygen path but that’s just her body’s natural reaction rather than fear. There’s no fear in sight. Just matching anger that radiates right back at me, and something akin to hurt, that’s brewing behind the wetness that’s slowly but surely gathering across her lower eyelids.
That’s slightly unexpected in the fact that this is such a human response. Despite the brief hesitance that washes over me, I don’t loosen my hold making sure she has enough air to breathe semi-normally. He nostrils are flaring breathing sounding extra harsh in the silence surrounding us. Hyung’s remain like statues locked in place around us.
‘’Do it.’’ her words are brief monotone. I hesitate again not expecting this outcome and acceptance ‘’This is your go ahead, so do it Jeongguk-ssi! End my misery which you seem to know all about huh?’’ she bites in the end, the way she addresses me has me flinching again. The others have gotten used to the her informal friendly manner of addressing them while she keeps being so formal to me…when all I want is for her to be more comfortable with me…specially with me ‘’What are you waiting for?!?’’ she bellows hands coming up to grab at my wrist but not to move it away, but to tighten my hold on her ‘’DO IT THEN!!! END IT! Save yourself and your hyungs! You claim I don’t care, but this is its Golden boy.’’ She snarls ‘’This is me handing you all the reigns to solve this! I know that you’ve hated my guts from the moment I’ve walked in, so here’s your chance.’’ Her hold is minuscule compared to my own the tightening of her hand doesn’t do anything ‘’Do it.’’ she grinds through her teeth glaring at me looking completely pissed off and ready.
Every never in my body is on edge, every cell has come to a standstill at the last two words that she snarls. She’s being serious about this – she’s serious about dying. Her eyes as hard and cold – a complete contrast of the warmth that’s always there - legitimately frightening frankly. She looks like a completely different person…I don’t know this Y/N. It’s just so surreal that a look from a regular human as herself has me cowering almost.
She doesn’t falter as she simply waits for me there’s no flicker of anything on her expression or in her eyes. Humans are fickle creatures; they can be strong headed one moment and in the next they change their whole behaviour and point of thinking and attitude.
I’m completely startled and thrown off by her. The hurt that is spreading all over me is so foreign that I have no idea how to deal with it. How to deal with her. It hurts so much.
It’s not even anger anymore entirely - I despise her I know I do right now especially, the carelessness the obvious and easy acceptance of her faith her destiny…I hate her. I fucking hate her, don’t I? Why does it hurt so fucking much? My heart having been stopped all those year ago aches…feels like it’s going to burst. It gets overwhelming all of the sudden…her skin feels blazing hot.
I let go of her, taking half a step back as if she’s fire itself. Her body falters but only for a moment – she’s up on her feet posture straightened as a soldier almost, head rising up pridefully.
Her eyes are glossed over as she blinks and what breaks my heart further is them darting behind me. She looks towards Yoongi. But no tears leave or fall her down her cheeks no. Her breathing seems to calm down, heart still hammering against her chest, painfully sounding. She ends up nodding some sort of determination, washing over her.
‘’And I’m the pathetic one then huh?’’ it just feels like a punch to the gut the anger that starts to radiate of her. She takes a moment to glance around at hyungs that have remains the same, my control of them having shifted into subconsciousness. I’ve never achieved this before. ‘’I’m going whether you like it or not. The time has come.’’ She takes a step back hesitating briefly ‘’My time has come.’’ She mumbles more to herself, glancing away and back at me blinking away fallen tears but she’s quick to turn around and march outside, hitting the heavy wooden doors with more force than its necessary but also more force than a human can display, as both swing open with ease.
Maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me. We all listen to her march away, her footsteps echoing in the spacious corridor. I let go of my hold of the others, having to really concentrate and even close my eyes to figure out this newfound strength that seems to be awakening. Once I hear them start moving, the dryness of my throat that hits me isn’t unexpected.
Nobody says anything at all, as I pull myself together gathering the mess that others thoughts have left in my mind. Blindly stepping forward I reach for the pushed back chair and sit myself down on it, hand automatically reaching for my temples. I don’t have a headache per say, but it sure does feel like one, dull throbbing paired up with hunger.
The hurt still lingers, it lingers like a freshly cut wounds from a sword or from a whip. A painful reminder of my human life ghost over me, over my back but it brings back the memory of Y/N back. Fuck. Fuck!!! Why am I aching all over? Why is it so hurtful to even think about her? I can’t shake off the memory of her shouting, and screaming so desperately for something, or someone. It suddenly fills my mind, the sigh of her in terror, but also the relief and the way she said ‘my love’ as she looked straight at me.
My dead-unbeating heart aches, longs for something. Something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. Maybe I felt it briefly with Na-yeon, but this is in a different way and thousand times more intense. More real. I can’t wrap my head around it what’s so ever, it doesn’t make sense. This anger, this hatred this pain this agony that has my knees shaking, and has me wanting to sob, and shout and scream. Just as I’m on the verge of doing so, hands settle over my knees.
‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi’s voice calls out softly ‘’Hey listen to me. Just focus on my voice okay.’’ he starts the notion, his position very similar to the time when he turned me. I was so confused and absolutely terrified with the burning, and blinding hunger that was taking over every part of my being. It’s almost as overwhelming as whatever this is now – the spiralling thoughts about the mortal won’t stop. The added images of her in armour, and her grins and cheers of my name make no sense. Did hyungs think about her like this?!
Dressed in a simpler dress running across a field of flowers? A flower crown on her head, brightening up her being? The image of her naked body, decorated with less scars but cuddled up to my own? The sight of tears of joy that spill from her eyes, as I find myself on my knees offering a humble looking golden ring?
‘’…you’re alright Jeonggukie, you’re alright. Nobody is mad at you okay? Just focus on me, I’m here like I always was and will be remember?’’ Hyung still continues to talk bringing memories back when he turned me, and how he helped me calm down.
I was such a hot head, wasn’t I? I still am just more focused on my actions. Specially since she came into our lives, wreaking havoc.
‘’In another life.” the declaration is full of sorrow, voice cracking at the end as tears spill and glint in the sun. It’s a very similar image to the way Y/N acted before walking away.
‘’In another life, things are going to work out with us. There won’t be duties nor any betrothed nor anything else to keep us apart.’’ The promise is meant wholeheartedly, even though the voice sounds faint as if losing battle.
‘’In another life’’ The echo was melancholy, full of emotion full of…of…
‘’Hey.’’ I didn’t even realize I opened my eyes until I realize I’m staring at Yoongi hyung, his eyes full of concern glowing brightly red as he stares at me frighten as well.
‘’Hey.’’ I sigh realizing that I’m half slumped forward. Looking up all the hyung’s are still in the room, none looking angry. They are relatively unmoving only Namjoon hyung listing through a thick red book.
‘’You alright there maknae?’’ Hoseok asks trying to put on a smile of reassurance, others doing the same. I simply blink a few times trying to see what book Namjoon is listing through but give up as I straighten and turn to Yoongi. He remains kneeling a moment further and then stands up, hands leaving from where he rested them on my knees.
‘’I think so.’’ I mumble glancing towards the doors.
‘’We might have an upper hand here boys.’’ its Jin that speaks up suddenly. Unlike others I can’t find it in myself to turn to him, but continue to stare at the ajar doors, trying to listen and pin point where the human went. It feels off not hearing her. I know she found a room at the very top of the mansion, a small quarter that belong to a maid previously – we can’t really hear here from here.
‘’That might actually work.’’ Namjoon says as I turn to the hyungs all huddled together next to Jin, that looks actually hopeful others slowly following suit ‘’We just need to figure and calculate the odds.’’
I’ve clearly missed a bit chunk of the conversation, rather focusing on locating the mortal. Some sort of panic rises in my lungs, my throat closing in at the lack of heart beat.
She left. Glancing towards Yoongi he’s already staring at me but with a softened expression Took a car and probably went for a drive. She’ll be back soon enough, I’ll send Jimin and Hoseok to keep an eye out. Don’t worry we’ll get her back safely.
I simply nod at his thoughts only slightly pushing down the panic. It’s weird. What occurred, and the words that were spoken and…it’s all just weird.
In another life huh. Those words bring an additional heaviness that settles, lodges itself into my soul…what’s left of it anyways.
*D-Day*
‘’Déjà vu much? Or is that just me?’’ I can hear the smirk in his tone. Sparing a glance to my right I watch as Yugyeom smirks cockily, clearly very amused by me.
‘’Hm, the song, or?’’ he chuckles shaking his head pushing me slightly playfully as he comes to a still at my side. I half laugh along with him, readjusting my posture keeping an eye out on the smaller ‘throne room’ the scenery unchanged as vampires keep on dancing. Of course, the ones higher in rank are mostly in the middle of the room whilst vampires as myself sort of bodyguards are positioned all around the spacious place. Seeing most of the Prince’s coven around has my nerves tingling uncomfortably. The positions they’ve chosen to stand in are very strategic – something that Namjoon hyung predicted impeccably.
‘’So, what do you recon my fine less handsome than me friend?’’ the question is expected. I glance over to the Prince’s people trying to see if anyone is interested in us. Remaining silent for a few extra moments, I focus on their thoughts finding out nothing but boredom and uninterest in most of what’s going on. Specially once the Prince’s laughter rings out the ballroom.
Something’s very wrong isn’t it?
‘’The usual. Anything caught your eye??’’ I reply out loud The prick has his eye on our human. My guess he called you just to rub it in our faces when he attempts to take her.
‘’That girl in the green dress. From Busan supposedly.’’ He wiggles his eyebrows annoyingly, putting on a boyish demander He’s testing JB-hyungs and our covens’ loyalty. He knows we’re close. He just wants theatrics doesn’t he.
‘’Hmmm. Decent.’’ Unimpressed I take the pointed-out girl in, spotting another red head dancing next to her ‘’Dibs on the Illsan chick.’’ I don’t know exactly what he wants, but he isn’t getting anything tonight. Specially not Y/N.
‘’The one in purple? Ah Jeongguk-ah have your standards fallen?’’ he’s quick to tease me placing one hand over my shoulder nudging me You’ve grown fond of her, haven’t you? What happened to you absolutely despising her guts my friend? Even though she’s rather very attractive for a mortal.
I hold back the growl that threatens to leave my throat at his mere thoughts, and quickly turning erotica images of Y/N ‘’What’s the issue is that you’ve raised your own too much.’’ I manage to stiffly say turning my head to glare at my friend, who raises his eyebrows in surprise and the narrows them, looking knowingly at me.
You like her. I immediately start glaring at him and his thoughts That’s very poetic sort of there Jeonggukie!
‘’Are you sure it’s me?’’ he adds out loud daring me on all of the sudden fully leaning onto me. I glare at him in anger, hating that he’s quick to read me even though he doesn’t have any mind related abilities, having been graced with an elemental ability of controlling the earth.
I do not like her! We’re not 5 you oaf! Ridiculous. Hyung’s have taken a liking to her, and it wouldn’t be fair to them to not stand on the same page it’s all. ‘’Judging by your ex-es I’m 100% sure.’’ I reply to which he feigns hurt stumbling a step back hand placed over where his heart is.
‘’Oh, you wound me brother. Wound me deep!’’ he ends up giggling peering at me with one eye closed the other peeking. I shake my head at his antics glancing around the room meeting Yoongi hyung’s eyes. Whatever makes you sleep better, as they say.
His amusement is annoying as he ends up gigging stepping closer to me again. I keep my mouth shut waiting for hyung to approach us, my eyes unwillingly shooting over to the loudmouth Prince that is shouting praise holding hands with a very clearly uncomfortable Y/N. To everyone else her mask is perfectly crafted the big grin reaching the sky, her eyes cutely crinkled, the blush fitting for a human look of innocence – to me I can see that she just wants to get away desperately.
‘’Hyung.’’ my best friends voice brings me out of my slight daze as Yoongi reaches us as well as Jaebeom, the leader of the White Moon 7 coven. I quickly greet him and bow down respectfully to which he simply smiles looking more relaxed that Yoongi who has kept a serious face all evening. It’s weird seeing and knowing that he’s nervous.
‘’It is nice of Wangseja to have invited us together once more. We don’t see each other enough as it is.’’ Jaebeom starts politely with a friendly smile on his face as he looks between me and Yoongi that finally cracks a smile.
‘’We should change that somewhat.’’ Looking at hyung I simply observe as the two older vampires start up a conversation with ease, completely distracted at the moment.
Jeongguk-ah are you there? ‘’Yes, very charming when he wants to be.’’ I’m left startled for a moment figuring that they are talking about me the two other chuckling quietly.
‘’Sorry.’’ I apologize out loud and in mind quick to set up a link between Yoongi and Jaebeom. Outside our own coven, Yugyeom and Jaebeom are the only ones that know about my ability. Everyone just assumes I’m stronger than the average vampire, and that is how Yoongi portrayed me ever since changing me, keeping my mental ability as a secret which turned out helpful in many situations.
‘’Where is your lady at? Surely you didn’t leave her at home.’’ Yoongi teases the younger leader, crossing his arms as he smirks eyeing the sudden shyness that Jaebeom portrays.
‘’Yes well, we’ve agreed for her to stay behind…’’
‘’Much to her dismay.’’ Yugyeom adds smirking earning himself a smack over his head flawlessly so may I add. I quickly spare a glance barely finding the human girl trapped between two chatty vampire ladies.
‘’…and take care of things at home in peace. Vampire royalty and gatherings as these aren’t really the right scene for her in my opinion. Politics can be draining, mortal or not.’’ my eyes remain on the human girl now standing at the side of the dancing vampires clapping along to the lively song, as others dance. A guy is talking to her, leaning in to close for comfort. But she’s not pushing him away.
Forcing myself to look away, I make work of focusing and expanding my mind; it’s hard to explain how my ability works its sort of like an expanding bubble sometimes – other times it’s like a bungee rope expanding and shrinking. Tonight, it’s a mix of both, as I make sure that whoever is paying attention to us or has at least a suspicion of anything - I slip a random thought into their brains averting them completely.
Glancing between the three vampires I set the link between our leaders trying to maintain the enclosed radius keeping guard of others thoughts while, I shield away their minds.
‘’…we’d be glad if you came over. I’m sure your human will get along with my beloved just fine.’’ The sentiment is genuine and welcoming, but I cannot say the same for the second ongoing conversation. As Yugyeom starts to explain on what renovations they did, I tune the outside world to out focusing on the conversation in my head.
…you can’t ask me that hyung. I blink in confusion at the strain that’s coming from Jaebeom.
I’m not. I wouldn’t ask that of anyone. But you will have to pick a side as a leader. Yoongi remains calm, face twisted in a gummy smile which is far from what’s boiling on the inside.
You know friendship wise…no brother wise I always have your back. I could never replay you for what you’ve done for us, for me… I glance past Jaebeom not wanting to be obvious, seeing the brief hurt on his features before he smooths it out with calmness as he adds in commentary correcting Yugyeom that continues to blabber providing the perfect coverup.
Jaebeom’s words have me curious. I know Yoongi knows his from way back…I mean he isn’t that old as a vampire but he’s old enough, and has been through things. I’m not surprised that Yoongi helped him, just at the gratitude that’s coming from the White Moons coven leader.
Friendship aside Jaebeom-ah you need to think what’s best for your coven. You’re the only one that can decide on it. You cannot ask neither Jinyoung neither Jackson on this. They will agree with you, with hesitance at first but your opinion matters in the end. I look at Yoongi whose own eyes skip and meet my own. Well there goes plan B sort of.
Like Yugyeom said previously that prick invited mostly people that are loyal to him – covens known to be cutthroat and eager to reach higher statues as quick as they can doing whatever the need to, to reach their goals. While they keep up appearances of wanting peace and good grace, everyone knows them. It’s why everyone leaves them alone and are befriending them. My friend’s coven makes sense as in added theatrics as well as drama and flare putting them in the position of choosing their loyalty. There’s of course our sort of sister clan from Busan named Kard. I know Namjoon secured their support just earlier having seen him convers Matthew. A big guy easily distinguished from the crowd, loud but generally friendly.
I’m not sure about the point of view from Monsta X as they call themselves. Nice dude’s but not sure why they were invited exactly. Maybe Jimin or Tae will work their magic on them.
Why so invested in her? Judging by the carefree nature… Jaebeom trails off gaze trailing over to Y/N. To my surprise she’s standing with the Shownu. He is known to be friendly as well on a human level nice despite looking like an absolute giant specially now standing before her in comparison. I know most humans wouldn’t dare approach him – neither some vampires.
I watch sort of entranced at the way Y/N smiles genuinely ending up in giggles, hand not really covering her mouth as most girls do.
Her dress tonight is more modern, still draped from her waist down but unlike her proud showing of her scars and skin the last time, this time the top does hug her curves precisely, but the boat neck cut prevents from showing extra skin. The colour doesn’t make her stand out being a dark navy blue, with golden detailing woven into the torso. Compared to other women here it’s rather simple at first glance. She has once more a cuff strapped to her bicep showing of her slightly more built figure. Hair pulled back, only a few curled-up strands are elegantly falling down.
She looks royal in a sense. She holds herself as one actually and not in an arrogant way. Her attitude is much calmer than it was back home…actually it’s been tamed since the argument from the library 3 days ago. Nobody expected for her to retract in on herself, barely speaking to anyone of us.
What hurts the most is her blatant ignorance for me. It stings like an open wound thinking about it. My main anger lies in her wish for death. She revealed much of herself – the wish for death not expected from any one of us. Maybe with the exception of Yoongi. It always brings a bitter taste to my mouth, sour uncomfortably at the thought of them together. Seeing her so cheerful across us spewing jokes making vampires thrice her age laugh is the perfect illusion isn’t it?
There’s always more than meets the eye. I can’t help but to say silently in the back of my mind. I feel both hyungs eyes on me, while I keep my own on her. The agitation like a small tidal wave begins its climb, masking my emotions with it. This is not the time nor place to rethink my past decisions, let alone hers and her actions. No weaknesses.
‘’A pleasure but I’m going to have to decline.’’ I pick out her voice though Yoongi mind. Just as I was about to back away from them let them talk more, she comes into the front. I think all of our eyes dart towards her standing near the opening that leads to the side and Japanese inspired garden that’s not at all anything to brag about.
I don’t recognize the vampire but judging by his posture which seems to be overbearing her and his sort of puffed out chest he’s clearly underestimating her and undermining.
‘’…just one dance, mortal. To show you how a real dance occurs, show you the magic of it.’’ que Yugyeom fake throwing up noises next to me.
‘’Who does he think he is?! Ugh.’’ My best friend adds sounding annoyed. I can feel Jaebeom’s eyes on me, but I keep staring at how the male vampire takes a closer step hand reaching out for Y/N’s hand her arms remaining at her sides, fingers fidgeting. Her right hand is bent where her sword would rest on her hip.
‘’I’ve been shown quite enough of magic that will last me my life time thank you sincerely for the offer but my answer is still no.’’ She shots him once more, bowing to him respectfully but half-heartedly taking a step back with the intention on clearly moving away, but he simply steps before her preventing her from leaving.
‘’You’ve never been with me, little lamb. Can’t say that until you try me.’’
I don’t even wait for hyung or anyone to give me permission. My body starts moving forward on its own as I avoid vampires moving around swiftly, hand reaching up grabbing onto the prick shoulder.
‘’Is this guy bothering you?’’ I find myself asking tugging him aback gently enough to dislodge him and break his bravado, as I stand sort of in between them acting as a shield to Y/N, her eyes darting to me. I put my hands together before me, squaring up my shoulder not being able to help myself but to up him puff my chest out a little bit. He’s leaner in posture than I am, and judging by the immediately brief snarl he’s an entitled brat.
‘’No, no, no.’’ Y/n shakes her head, her hand that wraps around my left would make my heart flutter up my throat if I were still alive, specially her proximity as she steps forward and stands next to me ‘’The gentleman was just politely asking for a dance in your absence it’s all.’’ her smile is Oscar worthy as she looks at me.
Barely composing himself he nods his head and puts on the fakest smile achievable ‘’Indeed, the lady looked lonely. Nobody should ever leave something as delicious looking all alone.’’ The comment has me narrowing my eyes, body tensing. The caresses coming from Y/N’s hand that’s running up and down my forearm do help.
‘’I’d suggest that you step away before I punch you in the face.’’ his cocky demander disappears, into one of shook and offense as she glares at me. Giving him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow he’s quick to start moving away without even properly bowing or anything. Glancing after him he’s running of to his sire, I’m sure.
‘’That was unnecessary.’’ Her comments irks me to no end from the get go as I turn down to look at the girl. She’s shorted than last time, not wearing any heels unusually so. She still tall enough to be able to reach my lips…hmm her lips do look nice too…snap out of it Jeongguk-ah!!! You hate her, right?!
‘’But very welcomed.’’ I simply blink at her baffled once more at the change in attitude from annoyed looking to a genuine smile which she offers looking up at me, still not having unhooked her hand from my own.
‘’So, I take it that you’re done with dances for the day?’’ I ask instead treading on what feels like a millimetre thin ice. Last time she paid me any mind it ended up bad. The ache returns of course, even though I thought to myself that I’m not going to let it get to me – with a single touch, I’m back at square one.
‘’Yes.’’ She half groans throwing her head back, the action childish as she closes her eyes briefly exposing her bare neck to my eye and my eyes only. It has my blood speeding up so to speak, the sight of her flawless neck so close to my hands offering such temptations…close to my mouth ‘’Done with dances forever.’’ The mumble follows which has me chuckling quietly again at the kid like reply. Straightening up I notice how her chest expands and deflates eyes taking her surroundings quickly ‘’Maybe one dance would hurt.’’
Her cheeks are quick to intensify in colour and warmth that she radiates, her hand that has come to a stop over my own suddenly lays there noticeable. Her fidgeting is back as she bends and stretches her fingers slowly.
‘’Is this your way of asking me to dance with you?’’ I ask grinning immediately completely enamoured for a moment at the sudden shyness that she’s portraying not meeting my gaze even though I’m standing right in front of her in her personal space.
‘’Bad idea huh? I’ll just go…’’
‘’No, no I accept.’’ I quickly interrupt her as she’s quick to let me go and untangle herself away. But it’s easy to capture for her hands, readjusting one over my shoulder and the keep a gentle held off her right one her fingers for a moment tapping against my hand. She looks up at me almost bright red, blinking sort of innocently as I lull us to the side trying her out more or less.
Her eyes remain firmly on my own feet easily following my movements, as I take charge and lead the dance, keeping us to the side but still in the circle of the ongoing dancers, music still being played by the live orchestra that’s situated on the other entrance of the mirroring garden. Cocky of that bastard to hire more musicians that we had. It’s the little details of pettiness.
‘’I’m surprised you’re not drinking tonight.’’ Instant regret!!!!!! I straight out start to shout at myself in my mind every curse word that I know of resurfacing and aimed at myself. What the fuck was this!!! I was given a chance to make things right and here I am fucking it all up asking her the one question that should never have left my mouth!!!
She hums instead shrugging her shoulders ‘’They supposedly bought the best of the best red wine for me. The label best doesn’t always mean or guarantee quality though.’’ I smirk at her quick dismissal of their pitiful efforts ‘’Besides red wine gives me acid reflux so that’s just a bummer.’’
I legitimately laugh at her predicament the genuine misery in her tone adding to it. She smacks her lips together portraying her detestation ‘’As lacking as our…’’ the last word goes unspoken masked with a slight cough as we both glance towards the Prince, that’s at the side chatting with his advisor vividly. The seriousness the older looking advisor has and calculating eyes ranking the vampires gives me all the bad vibes as Y/N would say. Twirling her around, I make effort to perfectly spin her out, and receive her back in my arms. The fond smile that has made itself present remains on, as I watch completely smitten by the share grace she effortlessly embodies, her dress floating along making it seem like she’s gliding along, moving in tune to me. Once I pull her in the second time, her dress gently brushes against my front, her arms arched in such a way as if she’s a professional dancer and has been doing this with me for years.
For a moment I’m left mesmerized as she easily picks up the pace and keeps up with me, body pressed tighter and closer to my own, the tuxedo I’ve got on feeling restricting after a while.
‘’I swear…’’ she starts and sighs sounding very annoyed out of the blue ‘’Firs the lack of beverages, then no functioning bathrooms, and the tip of the iceberg is the lack of Chrysaor. Aish.’’ She whispers the last part angrily almost looking at me pointedly.
Chrysaor is the name of her kopis, that she had to leave at the entrance. Even though others have weapons some as mere decorations on them, others just out of habit she wasn’t one of the very few guests that weren’t allowed to carry their weapons inside. To be fair someone had a spear, thinking it would make him look cooler than he is – it’s a fact because I’ve accidentally read his mind.
‘’I’m curious.’’ I speak up curiously watching as the annoyance disappears and she looks at me with an open expression easily maintaining her composure switching the steps up ‘’Why the Greek elements?’’ everyone has been wondering her relation to what seems to be a seemingly Greek background. But she never specified it, and upon certain situation she reacted completely differently, indication another proposition and notion of her belonging to other cultures. At one point, it was debated if she was from Canada. Another one someone placed her, to be Italian. I think Taehyung even propositioned that maybe she grew in Japan, as that’s another language which she showed in being extraordinarily fluent in a mere week ago.
Yoongi merely smiled at any of our questions, ignoring Jin’s persistent nature in finding out the truth as upon the first initial question of ‘Where is she exactly coming from?’ he was left puzzled, and realized that he forgot, and mixed it up in his head.
She snorts at my question I think having expected it at one point or another ‘’Its same if I’d ask you why are you so Korean?’’ she shoots back gaze piercing through me ‘’People could easily confuse you for something else with a different cultural background. Same can be applied to me I agree with you on that.’’ I glance away out of embracement and awkwardness at her rather defensive reply.
‘’But also, to answer your question, I do have lineage reaching years, centuries, millennia back to Greece. Like Yoongi has to the royal family.’’ It’s a well-known fact in our coven that Yoongi by birth right is actually higher up that Wangseja himself is. And I think other covens know this too, but due to hyungs blunt nature they are wise to back off and not engage into political games with him.
‘’You’ve done research about it?’’
A small smirk draws itself on her lips, face turning away to the left. For a moment she gets this faraway look, but then turns to look at me ‘’You could say that.’’ Before her answer can puzzle me further and raise more questions, she’s quick to return the favour ‘’What about you? Are you curious about your history, your ancestors, previous lives all that?’’
For the first time I feel as if her complete attention is on me, eyes unmoving having softened actually. Her heart remains steady, breathing having calmed down, and even her feet are lighter than before, sliding against the polished floor like a breeze ‘’Once upon a time, yes I was curious.’’ I find myself admitting looking in between us as the closeness we’re holding one another at, her hand feeling warm in my own ‘’But I didn’t get many answers.’’ due to the chandeliers above us, the light reflecting in her eyes resemble stars.
‘’Yes, humans do have a poor way of recording history. And have a reputation of destroying it as well as replacing it.’’ the curt laugh gives away the tinge of bitterness that’s she’s feeling about this matter.
But what’s intriguing is her wording. The way she keeps addressing humans as if she’s isn’t one herself. I know I must be overthinking, it’s probably nothing. She’s tired of her race as we are of our species at times when idiots poke their heads out into the sunlight – literally.
‘’Maybe one day I’ll find out more. Yoongi lived through most of the history, and from what he’s been telling me about certain stories not much made it to the light of day.’’ Her smile widens at my words, body moving and moulding as I bend her over for a moment, following along the other dancers the difference between us that we are both half-ass-ing it sort of, the others seemingly putting effort. And yet the two of us are the ones most in tune with one another.
We fit like puzzle pieces in a sense, as she moves and I follow right on point, and with a slight nudge from me she’s already adapting just as I’d imagine it in my head. It feels right, how harmonious we actually are.
‘’I bet…’’ she quickly shuts up, as everyone goes quiet the music ending, claps suddenly rising in volume. Startled I look up around us, not even following along as everyone has turned towards the orchestra, fake smiles present. I quickly spot Taehyung and Jimin in the front, both with dancers of their own while Hoseok is hanging back with Namjoon. Yoongi is standing near Jaebeom still across the room, while Jin is somewhere in the middle.
I look at him in confusion feeling Y/N shift in my hands. Glancing down she offers a nod towards hyung, understanding whatever message he sent her whilst I wasn’t looking.
‘’Thank you for the dance Jeongguk-ah.’’ The thanks is unexpected along with the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. If I were still alive this would be the time when my heart would just jump out of my chest, and I’d be red head to toe. She called me Jeongguk-ah. Hehe.
‘’Ah your welcome, thank you.’’ I reply completely perplexed and awkward taking a step back still holding onto her hand as I bow down properly almost 90 degrees. She chuckles at what a dumbass I am, nodding her head simply hand leaving my own with hesitance. At least it feels like hesitance.
I put on a smile easily because it’s her, but maintaining it once she walks away is tricky. I can still feel her hand on my own, as it remains warm. Placing both hands before me I take a step back, my intention is to back away and sink into the ground, from how dumb I am.
How does she have such a big impact on me? A fucking smile has my knees weak and wobbly.
You are totally into her, pfff what a softie!!! instead of sparing my best friend a glare I look back into the crowd completely ignoring the Prince as he begins another speech addressing everyone, probably ready to close the night off by bringing in humans. Maybe that’s why Jin hyung got Y/N’s attention, wanting to get her out. She shouldn’t see this ever. Or be a part of it!
‘’Ah JK, JK, you won’t even look at me.’’ Yugyeom states disappointed immediately after ending up chuckling clearly amused by my predicament.
Just making sure she’s safe that’s all I reply back frowning to myself, as her back is turned to me. But judging by Jin hyungs agitated expression something must be happening ‘’I’ve seen your ugly mug enough already.’’ I reply back looking around the room, noticing the lack of “guards”. The area near the main entrance is sort of empty.
Aha that’s what they all say. That’s what Jaebeom hyung said too for his mate I raise my eyebrow turning to him briefly the word mate suddenly ringing in my head. Mate.
‘’Oh, what’s happening?’’ just as he asks that and I tug my mind back from going into overdrive at an inkling I get in my gut, the lights get suddenly cut off. Some ladies even though are vampires do shout out like humans do in their horror movies. What’s surprising is that most of the chandeliers were lighted up by candles. As far as Namjoon’s hyung research went the Prince had a wind manipulator in his guard.
I immediately look towards the centre of the room air getting sucked out of my throat as the boulder of nerves that makes itself present once more with full force sinks his claws more into me. As people shift around, I completely lose sight of her in the crowd barely picking up on Jin hyungs purple hair. Before I can run after them, a hiss gets my attention a man dressed in the royal guard’s officer clothing raises his arms up holding a sword steadily between his hands.
There’s moonlight faintly shining inside enabling us to see enough not to be left completely blind. The advantages and disadvantages here are also that some vampires have better and worse night vision from one another. And they don’t call me Golden Maknae for nothing.
It’s easy to push Yugyeom away and take a step back intercepting a dagger in its wake of lodging itself into my heart. I’m met with glowing red eyes, as the man hisses mind screaming KILL loudly. He acts fact moving back and reaches forward again, the larger blade of the sword rendering a hinderance to his intent of cutting me, than the dagger he holds in his other hand the image of him cutting of my head with it very unrealistic. As I reach forward this time using his hesitance to my advantage I grab onto his forearms, and simply squeeze my ability coming through.
The scream he lets out is sort of a human habit, pain half reduced thanks to our genes. The scene is what gets to him more likely, bones sticking out as his forearms and limp hands sort of dangle, the crushed and bent shape of his forearms moulder to my fingers plainly creepy looking.
As his hands give out, the blades start falling down immediately. I headbutt him unnecessarily so yes, but it has him stumbling back while I kneel to pick up both blades before they can chatter to the ground.
And it’s just in time, as another man is suddenly at my right-side dagger inches away from the side of my throat. But it’s Yugyeom that pulls him back, the ground around us shaking. Nothing happens expect that the man’s neck cracks as my friend takes care of his previous attacker, who lays on the ground with a weirdly bent leg and neck. Turning to the fallen guard, the dagger in my hold mimics the image he had in his mind – it gets swiftly lodged in his chest instead of my own.
For a moment I want to leave it in, but decide against it switching the weapons in my hands, knowing I’ll do better with the Geom he wielded, dagger at the ready for extra damage or to deflect attacks.
The goal is simple really – get to Y/N. I bet my hyung’s are on the same thought as I am, but what fuels me is much deeper than they could ever understand.
It’s weird that the guards and the men fighting against us, let go most of the guests to run to the gardens as the entrance seems to be blocked completely. The colour of a blue dress gets my attention mid-way as I stare bewildered at the human girl cursing out loud not keeping quiet at all. She’s banging against the door, shouting ‘’GIVE ME BACK MY KOPIS YOU COWARDS!!!’’
I can’t even take a moment to shake my head at her, or call her out on it as a woman jumps onto my back, her hiss sending a cold shiver down my spine fangs close to ripping into me. This is what happens in war or in fights – you lose your focus for one second or stop moving and you are done for.
I half expect the blood curling scream that rings in my ears slightly painful only a second after. But the dead-beat weight and gurgling that follows is welcomed. Shaking my shoulders, she falls down, behind me hands tearing at and into her own throat, blood spilling from every nock and cranny of her face I’ll put it like that. Glancing up Yoongi offers a brief nod my way, as he moves to stand behind me. A cold shudder runs down my spine, the sight of him using his abilities rare for a reason.
Focus Jeongguk-ah focus
This is exactly why he has trained me for all those gruelling never-ending one on one hand combats lessons lasting years – they are paying off tremendously. Just not in a way I’d expected them to, having Y/N as my main priority to protect and not myself.
We need to get to Y/N hyung
I barely can focus on replying as I intercept more blades going our way, guards seemingly doubling number wise as well as individual attackers. Besides having a vague sense where my brothers are, I’m tremendously grateful for the handpicked friends that have chosen to fight by our sides, Jaebeom’s choice in standing with us, bringing warmth to my heart.
Upon punching and knock a man into a half dead state watching as he falls heavily to the ground, I turn up ready to lodge the dagger into the next asshole that is planning to stand in my way. I’m met with a composed fellow that has his tuxedo ripped and is breathing heavily as he glares at me with bright red eyes, fangs out. Isn’t he the leader of the newest clan with the unorthodox name? An orange hair man stumbles behind him confirms my thoughts, as I know Jooheon hyung, having met him through Namjoon and Hoseok. He’s the one that nods his head urging his leader forward.
Getting frustrated with the nonstop attacks, I’m tempted to just force everyone to a stop quick to rile myself up more by imaging Y/N – the memory of her smiling at me encourages me with ease. But the man that stands before me and grins cockily ready to fight, suddenly has his eyes rolling to the back of his head body crumbling on the ground, something bursting as blood splatters hit my trousers.
‘’Now is not the time Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi growls ‘’You need to go get Y/N and get out of here.’’
For once I don’t hesitate or second guess his notion. Not that I ever did, but at some requests you have to stop and rethink things. But this time, I’m in sync body and mind. Making way for him, I move past Matthew who sends a wink my way continuing on to crush a guy’s skull with his bare hands, his second in command a grey-haired girl right next to him, pushing away another girl with ease.
I notice that the entrance has been busted open by force. Our library doors come to my mind briefly, wood splintered at the handles like back home. But these are much, much heavier doors than ours, this house having been a fortress and armoury a long time ago. Meaning the walls are thick, as well as the passages, and these doors included.
And yet someone managed it – what’s so shocking is that I’m the one that’s considered being one of the strongest vampires maybe in the world - and I know it myself that I’d have a great difficulty achieving whatever happened to the doors.
A shout of anger has me backing towards its direction voice falling quiet, but cuts and grunts persistent. Once I manage to get myself out of a noose that I find myself in with another girl that’s clearly on our side I do take the chance to look towards Y/N.
The lower part of her dress has ben sort of torn and half cut away, her bare feet peaking specially as she kicks a man very Spartan style, while her bronze blade glints magically almost in the cascading moonlight that’s peaking from the gardens, the huge open walls proving a disadvantage somewhat from the removed previous doors that guarded this room.
She’s standing rather close to our way out luckily and for all my doubt she looks like she’s holding perfectly fine on her own, the many bodies that are disintegrating into ash at her feet are a huge indication that she is no stranger to carnage as this one. She skilfully even more skilful than Yoongi or Hoseok hyung combined are, glides across the ground dodging the quickly paced attacks of what I know seem like blurred figures and movements to human eyes. And yet here she is intercepting every blow as if she’s one of us.
That’s not right. By logic she shouldn’t be able to see us move so quick, let along deflect fatal blows like that. A growl leaves from her lipstick stained lips, as she mercilessly cuts down another woman similar in height leaving her crying out in pain pushed harshly to the ground. I watch as Y/N moves her kopis as if it is an expansion of herself, easily across the woman’s head, cutting it clearly off. Her eyes lift up meeting my own in the massacre.
But it’s as if the cosmos slows down, and connects the pieces of a giant infinite puzzle that for the first time slots together into one.
Because her eyes…I’ve seen them before. I’ve admired them many, many times. In more serene times, and much bloodier than this.
‘’Duck!!!!!!’’ her shout is quick face turning into one of panic. I blindly follow her words, falling to my knee’s half turning back to see a rapier being thrust just above my head. Hand shooting up, I twist the guys own hand completely pulling his arm out of his socket as I turn and stand around lodging the dagger into one of his eyes. I’m not sure in which as I don’t bother making sure, Y/N being in danger bringing my own panic to the front.
Before my brain can process what’s happening, my body freezes tiny bits of shocks of electricity force my muscles to tighten up. I groan through my teeth, falling down onto my right knee as my body clamps up. The hold that’s on the juncture where my neck meets my throat is the strong, long nails digging into my skin but not piercing it.
I try to move immediately, despite my body wanting to curl in on itself I fight against it achieving no difference in the end as my body continuously gives out. I do manage so semi-successful tugs but nothing prominent, as I freeze up all the more, the static intensifying making me cry out as fuck this shit hurts.
‘’I’d advise you to stop dear.’’ The Prince’s voice is condescending. I try to get a look at him, but he has me in his grip in a way that forces me to stare forward, eyes darting around trying to find my hyungs – no one is in sight. Only Y/N that’s twisting and turning her blade which is lodged in a man’s chest, her hand holding him up somehow by his throat. I bet she’s responsible for the doors – but more importantly she lied didn’t she. The display of strength…
‘’Ah just when I was starting to have real fun.’’ Her voice is heavily sarcastic as she spares the Prince a glare, and then pushes the disintegrating body away, her blade remaining covered in fresh blood that she brings to hold on her side.
‘’Indeed fun. It was well worth hiring extra lackies for you to play around with.’’ The Prince brags happily almost ‘’Your reputation precedes you daimones. I hope you’ve been appeased by my gifts.’’
I stare at Y/N as she clicks her tongue looking very unamused as she swings her sword around for my guess a dramatic effect and examines it for a moment. She nods her head more to herself as she walks towards the middle of the room actually keeping her distance from us ‘’Wouldn’t call whatever you’ve presented necessarily gifts, Cheob.’’
The word she addresses him with, I think has not only me rising an eyebrow in interest. It’s a highly unusual insult to use on a male let along on him. She could have literally used any other name, or cuss word to degrade him and yet this one in particular seems to hold meaning.
‘’Now, now no need for immediate name calling. We’re all civil beings here.’’ He tries to approach this in a polite way not even denying her implication.
‘’Says the man that’s holding my protectee under his hand.’’ I stare at her with widened eyes. Protectee is a term I’ve heard from Jin hyung before when he explained about titles and some laws, we as vampires have. This word reaches out globally, and can have any creature stake a claim of protection to their own species or another one.
‘’Its only out of precaution, you can understand that from my point of view can you not, general L/N? Or should I follow in your footsteps and address you by your real titles huh?’’ she doesn’t even flinch at his teasing as I think he expected her too ‘’The famous Death bringer, Reign ender, Atlantean leviathan and the of course the most known one; the Ghost of Sparta. Just to list a few names ladies and gentlemen.’’ He cheers in the end, clearly wanting to clap but he’s currently preoccupied with having me paralyzed and hostage.
But even without his “help” in the matter of incapacitating me, I’d definitely have to take a moment to process this information as my mind starts running a thousand miles per hour. All of those titles…I’ve heard them. Some from games and the current pop culture, some from Namjoon hyung as his random discoveries during out years together took him around the whole world. He even took time to explain to me whenever I was curious about his studies. None of this makes sense. When I look at Y/N I can’t even begin to imagine her as either one of those things that the titles hold myths about.
‘’Should we add former protector of lowline vampires as well to that list?’’ the shout crawls up on me unexpectedly as his fingers dig into my flesh deeper, nails piercing skin blood quick to raise and start flowing from the open wounds. But that’s barely noticeable in regards of pain tolerance – what fucking gets me to tremble and shake is the amplified pain the electric current that seems to be frying off my nerves is entering my system directly. My body has barely time to heal itself before its being wounded. Besides all that to worry about, the sensation feeling and sort of state of mind fogginess is what creeps me out. Even if I wanted to read into his mind and stop him, right now it feels like it’s next to impossible to even attempt.
The asshole twists his fingers deeper masochistically forcing me to brace myself on my hands as my legs fold into a kneeling position. He keeps me upright enough head still twisted to the right, my neck exposed to anyone. He’s positioned me like a fucking dog, ready to have his head chopped off at any moment.
‘’Spare us the theatrics Cheob, you’ve lost your audiences and so-called loyal followers a while ago. Stop trying to gauge my interest.’’ She replies keeping up a relatively indifferent attitude.
It does cross my mind as things are now coming up to light that she might not even care about me, as much as I care about her. I might be considered a bystander her main goal being Yoongi. Maybe after all she really is involved with him romantically. She seriously might be doing this just because he’s my sire and my death would hurt him more.
‘’C c c, did old age bring you impatience darling daimones?’’ he doesn’t let himself get phased voice turning unnecessarily higher, my breathing remaining harsh due to the constant zaps and what feel like small wildfires spreading and crawling over every inch of me ‘’The night is relatively young. And we haven’t even brough snacks in yet.’’ I bet his grin is menacing – I bet the prick is trying to look intimidating for no good reason. The twitch in Y/N lips is evident to it, as she shifts from one foot to another, bringing her sword to her side properly, still lifted up pointing finger that’s situated on the blade tapping against the metal. She’s imitating her heart beat. Hmm.
‘’Might be Cheob.’’ She says eyes meeting my own for only a second ‘’And as much as we are both fans of drama and its twists and turns it would be very much so appreciated if you’d let go of my coven. Along with Jeongguk-ah first. I’m sure any favours you wish to get granted aren’t worth by killing yourself slowly by holding the youngling hostage hmm?’’
I’m surprised that she knows of his weakness. Even though his ability has been added to the unofficial A list, it comes with a huge downside to it – he’s draining himself as we speak, of his energy and life essence actually. As much as it is threatening the ability is deadly more so for himself.
‘’On the contrary my lovely daimones. You’re worth every drop of blood even if it’s my own at the moment.’’ His reply is way to cheerful, the eerie silence breaking at again an unwanted shout that turn into growling and hissing noises as I breathe heavily, my chest starting to burn. My teeth sharpen unnecessarily, senses somewhat focused, body detached from my mind. This isn’t good. Shit. He’s managing to keep my mind hazy and distracted, and with the onslaught to my body he’s achieving a dissociation to start occurring.
Again, heeding to his warning, my head on its own falls limply forward, the small amount of control that I did have now gone. Even my thinking capabilities are getting leaden ‘’See?’’ he cheers ‘’It is so fun to have the drama the flare, the pain!’’ he taunts shifting me his breath fanning over my exposed neck, as he must have knelt down ‘’To control ones prized possession as a mere rag doll, or dog to be completely frank with you.’’ He’s pissing me off for real now anger spiking over the pain that’s being delivered steadily ‘’And I know that you’ve been looking for him for over a thousand and more years, haven’t you?’’
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, watching as something drips down from my face staring at the first droplet of darker coloured blood as it hits the polished stone floor ‘’You’ve pointed out twists and turns earlier fittingly my lady.’’ He continues on grip starting to become agonizing, the mumbles uncontrollable as is the hiss coming from my chest. His grip shifts to the back of my hair, head being forced to turn upwards ‘’They are unexpected and completely breath taking, aren’t they?’’ his head is close to my own, probably grinning widely like the clown he is.
Opening my eyes narrowly I can see that Y/N is absolutely fuming on the inside, her eyes evidently ablaze in the darkness, rimmed with gold. Her body is at a complete standstill, chest barely moving even thought her heart and breathing are normally functioning. That’s good, that small fact eases my worry. Her posture is exactly the one Yoongi hyung has taught me to hold. Good.
‘’Does he even know sweet Y/N-ah? Opps Y/N-nim. He doesn’t does he?’’
Y/N tilts her head instead the motion sort of familiar as hyung’s have pointed out that I tend to do that whenever I’m confused. She’s not even close to being confused or lost at the moment. Her finger tapping against the metal is still present in the stillness.
‘’You know…’’ she starts intaking a breath calmly ‘’The nickname’s as fun as you find them, do hold a meaning to them Cheob. Yours not so much for yourself but I’ve made peace with my actions.’’ One side of her lips stretches up into a crooked smile, the glint in her eyes frightening as her face shifts into a menacing expression ‘’So are you really ready to test my already thin patience and challenge me Cheob?!’’ she pronounces the last word clearly, and slowly her taunting way more efficient than his one was.
Because of the brief silence that follows it seems as if she struck a nerve, murmurs starting but ending quickly, as my body wants to bend down and over. I start to uncontrollably shake, teeth cracking under the pressure of how tightly my jaw is pressed together. Besides the complete physical shut down, I use my last energy resorts from not calling out to her, or making any noises. Even if she doesn’t care I don’t want her worrying.
‘’Stop calling me that!’’ he snaps the exclaim sort of echoing around ‘’I am Taewang of the Three Kingdoms of Korea, and of the existing kingdom that is today!!! You will address me as such daimones! You are below me in stature and as a being! You will bow down and pledge your immortal life to serve me or face the consequences of your foolishness with the price of your soulmate’s head.’’
His shouting tirade isn’t as frightening as one might think it’d be. Of course, his words do send my blood to run faster, the following probably not promising anything good for Y/N or even my hyungs. If I were alone…I look up at Y/N that looks unphased still. But the smile she was sporting is gone. So is her more leisure position. She has straightened up perfectly, like a soldier, like a fighter with her core balanced, mind in tune. She is ready for anything. Even though her kopis has been put and hidden behind her, the tapping against the metal of the blade still remains.
Wait…wait…soulmate? What is he on about?!! Did I hear him right?
My body begins to buzz when her eyes dart down to me irises bleeding golden. I’m not entirely sure if the room gets brighter or if she has put on a sheet of glow around herself – but I can say for sure that she is absolutely gorgeous, her aura shining, being draped in gold.
‘’Touch him, further and I’ll chop of your tongue.’’ Her tone is rid of the scratchiness that it usually contains ‘’I haven’t made a promise in over a thousand of years but I’m promising you this parasite.’’ I can feel how the Prince tenses behind me hearing the undertone clear in her now more melodic and entrancing voice ‘’If you harm one more hair on his head, I will end you all. And I will do so smiling while I bathe in your blood.’’
The promise sends chills over me, but I’m at my ends here. For the first time since I’ve been turned, I can easily describe this abyss that I’m falling towards as sleepiness. I feel sleepy, on the edge of being pushed or simply blown and sent over the edge into the darkness that is encompassing my vision. The only thing keeping me present is the sort of angelic aura that radiates from Y/N.
I should be concern for myself, for the wellbeing of my hyungs that faintly I start to pick out their voices that seem to be shouting in the back of my mind. But she’s the thief of my attention, my whole meaning of existence. An entity bound to the earth.
‘’Get her!!!!!’’ the man behind me shouts, but it sounds like it’s coming from a bubble. This time as the agony just forces my body to succumb and give in the fight, healing coming to a full stop no shout or call ring out into eeriness that’s replaced with a tantrum of warlike cries.
My gut twists in worry, mind wanting to remain awake and get up and fight – but I’m just so tired. I don’t want to leave her alone.
‘’Jeongguk-ah, Agápi mou closer your eyes.’’ her voice reaches my ears like a sweet lullaby. I can taste sweetness from peaches, and citrus from another fruit on my tongue. My eyes fall closed for a moment – still seeing her eyes which are so beautiful and breath-taking as they focus solemnly onto me. Looking like molten gold, and blazing sun they look at me with gentleness and what’s most important – love. And wanting, and endearment, and, and…
That’s when my word gets consumed by nothingness.
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Final)
Copyright 2020© by barbika1508. All rights reserved.
Dictionary: Taewang - meaning "Grandest of all Kings" Wangseja - Crown prince, the son of the king who appointed as heir to the throne. Kopis - a heavy knife with a forward-curving blade / the Ancient Greeks often used single-edged blades in warfare, as attested to by art and literature. Geom - is the generic term for "sword", but more specifically also refers to a shorter straight-blade, double-edged sword with a somewhat blunted tip Daimones - The word is derived from Proto-Indo-European *daimon "provider, divider (of fortunes or destinies)," from the root *da- "to divide". Daimons were possibly seen as the souls of men of the golden age acting as tutelary deities In Greek mythology, Chrysaor (English translation: "He who has a golden sword"), was the brother of the winged horse Pegasus Cheob /Korean/ - (in polygamous societies) a woman who lives with a man but has lower status than his wife or wives.
40 notes · View notes
mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago
Text
Your safety is my concern; 13th doctor x child reader
*Author’s note*
Hey guys well I have in store for you another Doctor Who fic request that came to me over 50000 years ago, so ti took me a bit but I managed to get a straight story plot in so to the anon who requested this fic, I hope you like it and thank you for being SOOO patient :) Not really any serious warning except for the alien threats, mild swearing and a bit of action so your typical PG-13 rating. Enjoy my lovelies :) Also there’s a fun face cast (until tumblr decides to stop being a little B***ch the face cast is Tom Ellis for our villain).
Tumblr media
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@psychosupernatural
@waddles03
@platawnic
@ixchel-9275
_____________________________________________________
“Wait, wait so those things actually exist?” Ryan exclaimed.
“Yep.” I replied.
“You’re actually serious?” said Yaz.
“Yeah. They live in a place call the Black forest. That’s where the Brothers Grimm wrote their histories.”
“You mean their fairytales?” Yaz tried to correct me but I just looked at her with a quirked brow and a grin. “No way……”
“Can we go?” asked Ryan.
“I would but—that’s the one rule my mom doesn’t allow. She doesn’t even allow me to go on my own. But I’m in my 11th stage at this point, she went there long before I was even thought of. So you know what—screw what she says. Let’s go!”
“Alright!” Ryan cheered as the two of us fist bumped.
“Uhh Ryan can I speak to you for a bit?” Yaz urged him.
“Oh Yaz don’t be such a spoilsport.” I argued. “I know what you’re gonna try to convince him that we all shouldn’t do this cause it’s my mum’s only rule. Well news flash. You guys have been in worse case scenarios before, so let’s just drop it and go there and you guys can see what inspired the Grimm’s history books.”
“Yeah Yaz. C’mon. This is a one in a lifetime opportunity.” Yaz was in a debate with herself before she finally said.
“Oh alright. But only because I loved reading their books growing up.” I cheered out a yes as I fist pumped into the air.  “Just tell me we don’t have to use the TARDIS to get there.”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous. You can get there practically in any universe or timeline. Just gotta know where to look.” I said.
“Okay so where do we find the entrance here in London?” Ryan asked.
“Well if you were an English writer or wanted to read a book in peace, where would you go to write?”
“The Park.”
“But which one? There’s over a hundred parks here in London.” Yaz said.
“Well the land where the Brothers Grimm came out of in order to begin writing “Little red riding hood” was turned into what is Hyde Park. So just a cab ride there and I can show you guys they exited. Some entrances can lead you out into another part of the world so we’ll have to make sure we exit out of that exact spot once we get there. Otherwise we’ll end up in Germany or Italy.”
“But how will we get pass the Doctor and Graham?” asked Yaz.
“Leave that to me. Now c’mon let’s get going.” We then left my room and we made it to the heart of the TARDIS.
“So there you three are, finally getting bored of reading eh?” Graham’s voice rung out.
“Oh not my girl Graham. My little (y/n) could just bury herself into books, call her my little Belle sometimes.” My mum said.
“Yeah, hey mum since we’ve had such a long few weeks of battling Daleks, evil hitmen and mind controlling robots, you think we could take a holiday?”
“I wouldn’t mind that. Yeah so where shall we go? The Bermuda Triangle?”
“Nah not after what happened last time.”
“Yeah you’re right very nasty business. What about the Capri islands?”
“Charming little places but no. I was kinda thinking in the lines of local holidays.”
“Oh okay then well umm……uhh fam what is there to do around here that’s peaceful and tranquil?” my mum asked the gang.
“Well there’s always the park.” Ryan suggested going along with my plan.
“The park! Of course good suggestion Ryan.”
“Which park shall it be?” asked Graham.
“Earlier (y/n) suggested Hyde Park.”
“Of course she would. Never did choose any other park after that, not after seeing Queen perform there back in ’76.”
“Hey that was a great concert and don’t pretend you didn’t love it in your previous regeneration!” I snapped at her.
“Oh of course I did. I may have been a sour angry Scotsman previously but I knew good music.”
“That you did mum.”
“Alright Hyde Park it is!” mum proclaimed and as we all began to head out Graham took me by the arm and he said.
“Wait so—she was serious? She used to be a man?”
“Oh yeah. Various generations of them too. I kinda preferred her 10th and 11th form though. He was much cooler and funnier in those forms. His last form it was like having a grandfather instead of a father. But oh boy was I surprised to see this, but she does get me better now as a woman.” Graham looked overwhelmed so I patted his back and gestured for him to follow us.
We left the TARDIS and decided that a simple cruise through cabbie to Hyde Park was the best thing.  It took us about 15 minutes to get there but we finally arrived at Hyde Park.  Graham paid our fee and we all exited the cabbie and stood before the park.
“Alright gang, what shall we do first? Do a little exploring? Skip some rocks? I’ve always wanted to try and skip rocks, I never could do that when I was a man. Maybe with these new wrists I could do it.” My mum said.
“You know Graham’s actually a master at rock skipping, aren’t yah granddad?” Ryan asked.
“Yep. I mean I don’t like to brag but once I managed to get seven skips right by the docks during the WWII. My old brothers in combat never let me hear the end of it, but it was worth it if it got their egos knocked down a bit.”
“Then it’s settled. Graham you can teach my mum how to skip rocks, while Yaz, Ryan and I go on a little hike. That okay with you mum?”
“Alright but you stay close to Yaz and Ryan alright?” she warned me.
“I promise mum I won’t leave their side. Cross my heart.” I said as I crossed both my hearts and raised my right hand.  She looked at me but cupped my face in between her hands, her thumbs stroking my cheekbones before placing her forehead on mine.
“You better not. Yaz, Ryan I’m entrusting you to protect my daughter. Make sure she stays out of trouble.”
“Don’t worry Doctor, we will.” Yaz assured her.  My mum hugged and kissed me one last time before Yaz, Ryan and I headed on out towards the hiking trail Hyde Park had to offer.
“See, told you it’d be easy.”
“You were right (y/n).” Ryan said with a grin.
“Alright let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Now where do we find this entrance at?” Yaz asked.
“Well if I remember correctly, cause as usual you humans always make changes to the forests in order to build your parks, I think it’s…..this way.” I went to the right part of the park that led to the forest.
As we tracked along, I looked carefully at every bush and behind every tree trying to remember where the entrance to the Black Forest was.  It was then when I came across the blackberry bush, something clicked.
“Hey guys, we’re getting close.”
“How can you tell?” asked Ryan.
“See that blackberry bush? The Brothers Grimm once spoked about a blackberry bush being the first thing they found after they back from the Black Forest.” I raced on ahead with Yaz and Ryan calling out my name.  It was then I found what looked like a small cave entrance. “This is it guys. We found it.”
“This is the entrance?” Ryan said.
“Yep. This is our entrance into the Black Forest.”
“So…..what do we just crawl through it.” Yaz asked me confused.
“Go in and see for yourself.” I said with a slight smirk.  Ryan and Yaz looked at each other and Ryan shrugged at her.  Yaz sighed and walked up to the entrance.
“I can’t really see any….any light at the end of the tunnel. (Y/n) are you sure this the entrAHHH!!!”
“Yaz!” Ryan exclaimed as he went after her but he too ended up falling down the hole. I grinned and crawled into the den before whispering to myself.
“Off we go.” I then slide down on my back and proclaimed happily like I was going down the slide.
I ended up lying on top of Ryan’s back and I heard him groan underneath me.
“Hello Ryan.” I said.
“Hey (y/n), do you think you could get off of me? I think you broke a rib.”
“No I didn’t you’re just being dramatic.”
“She’s right Ryan, if you had you��d be in a lot worse pain.” Yaz confirmed with me. We all stood up and she said, “So, this is the Black Forest?”
“Yep. We can look around if you like, there’s plenty to see here. But be careful, every single character the Brothers Grimm wrote, they are all real. And some of them are made even lighter by their standards so tread carefully.” I walked on ahead leading the way with Yaz and Ryan following cautiously behind me.  As we walked on Ryan asked me.
“So who should we meet first?”
“Actually Ryan it’s best we don’t go looking for them, in fact I didn’t want to scare you guys but they might have a feeling that humans have entered their world.”
“Wait so even the human characters aren’t really human?”
“Not exactly. They’re…..” it was then an arrow came right in front of my face, barely missing my nose by a centimeter.
“(Y/n)!” They both cried out.  They pulled me in between them and they both asked if I was okay as Yaz began to look me over.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” But it was then dozens upon dozens of archers came out with their arrows drawn out ready to fire at us.  We all held our hands in the air trying not to appear threatening.
“State your name and business trespassers!” the bear-like huntsman demanded as he drew his arrow further back.
“We are not a threat Huntsman.” Ryan tried to reason with him.
“Silence weakling! I speak to the girl!”
“No need to get your knickers in a twist Huntsmen dear.” An echo sounded off as we heard a flock of ravens flying ahead.  It was then every single one of the huntsmen all tucked down in fear trying to swat away the ravens buzzing around them.  The ravens gathered behind a tree and as soon as the last one went behind the tree, a man stepped forward.
His skin while looking like the skin of a toad, glistened like morning dew on the grass, or the sparkling of the stars in the universe.  Across his face was an impish smirk and his eyes were demon red and he had hair black as ebony.  It was then I knew exactly just who this guy was.
Tumblr media
The King of the Black Forest, the Fae King, Rumpelstiltskin.
“Rumpelstiltskin.” The Huntsman said fearfully.  He then bowed as did the rest.
“Oh my god.” Yaz whispered in awe.
“Shh!” I hissed lowly.
“Now then, who has the audacity in entering my kingdom without a request from me?” the Dark Fae king stood before us and looked at each of us one by one. “Ahh a couple of humans, been a long time since humans came. Now what were those two lovely yet odd gentlemen’s names again?” he hummed as he tapped his foot, pondering in thought till he snapped his fingers, “The Grimm Brothers. Lovely chaps they were.”
“This guy can’t be the Rumpelstiltskin.” Ryan muttered to Yaz.
“And just why can’t I?” Rumpelstiltskin snapped as his eyes flashed angrily.
“Oh well I—I-I-I didn’t mean any disrespect I was just…..”
“He only meant that….you looked so different, than what we’ve read about you.” Yaz tried to explain.
“Oh really?” he pondered. “And just how exactly am I portrayed?” Yaz didn’t respond back right away, all she did was just stare in awe at the Fae King.  
And I’ll admit in my previous stages, especially my teenage forms, I probably would’ve fawned over Rumpelstiltskin too.  Cause even with the toad-like skin color, he was still a very attractive fae (then again what Fae isn’t?).  
“Well judging by your gaping mouth I’d say not quite like this.” Rumpelstiltskin said as he gestured to himself.
“Begging your pardon, your majesty. What exactly shall we do with them?” a huntswoman asked.  Rumpelstiltskin looked at Yaz and Ryan and said.
“Take these two away.” It was then four huntsmen came down and two of them took Yaz while the other two took Ryan by their arms and held them back.
“Hey let us go!”
“Get your grubby hands off of me!”
“Yaz! Ryan!” I exclaimed.  Suddenly I felt this magical grip on me.  I couldn’t break free of it.  I was then hung upside down and forced to look in the direction of the King Fae. Knowing just how he had the power to affect children, I closed my eyes and tried to turn my head away.
“Ohh, a smart child aren’t you? You seem to know exactly what I can do. But you don’t have the same mortal aura as those two simpletons.” He cooed. “Why don’t you have a look into my eyes dear one? Let me see those adorable, innocent eyes?”
“No! I know exactly who you are! You’re a Djinn Fae! A creature from the Planet Drecarys that can bend reality and target solely children in order to obtain your long lives!” I heard him chuckle icily that sent shivers up my spine.
“A clever child you are, but then again you’re not any ordinary child, are you?” I felt his hand cup my cheek.  I tried to fight it but I felt myself being squeezed by the magical force and that’s when he said. “So that’s it. Now this is a surprise indeed. I think you a mere child but LOW! You are the daughter of a Time Lord.”
“Wait does he mean you know who?” I heard one of the huntsmen say.  That was until I heard the sounds of him choking and even gurgling? I don’t know what but I honestly didn’t want to find out, not if I risk falling under the spell of the Djinn Fae that is Rumpelstiltskin.
“The Doctor does not rule me!” Then I heard the snapping of bones and the collapse of a body. “Take the humans away, I have special plans for our guest of honor.” It was then I could hear Yaz and Ryan crying out my name and I called back to them till my voice was silenced as a gently shush was the only thing I could hear. “They don’t matter anymore my dear little Timelord, all you should be concerned about is us.” Then as I felt both sides of my face being cupped, I then began to smell something sweet.
It was like—honeysuckles no, no, no uhh….lavender. No oh stardust no he’s using the aroma Djinn Fae’s are known to use to put their prey under their spell. Wait hey….why are my eyes closed? Shouldn’t they be open? I then opened my eyes and that’s when I was looking into warm brown eyes.
“There’s my girl. Now come, we’ve got a lot to discuss.” I then felt myself being carried like a baby in his arms and I guess he looked safe so I clung onto him and he smiled down at me before I closed my eyes and fell asleep in his warm, protective embrace.
*3rd Person POV*
He finally had it.  Out of all the children he’s sucked the life out of, Rumpelstiltskin finally had the key to eternal youth.  With the regenerative abilities the timelords have been blessed with, even he could surpass any other Djinn Fae that came before him.  Even if he were near death, all he had to do was regenerate and he’d continue to live his life.
Rumpelstiltskin grinned down wickedly at the young timelord he finally had in his grasp before fading off into a beam of light and disappearing from the forest.
Meanwhile with Yaz and Ryan, they were being escorted by the hunts-people feeling beyond worried about what Rumpelstiltskin wanted with (y/n).
“What is he gonna do to her?” demanded Ryan.
“Quiet nave!” said the leader of the huntsmen scouts.
“No you don’t understand that is our friend he just took hostage! She’s important to us! Important to someone else!” Ryan snapped.  At that point the leader stopped which caused the rest of the guard to stop.  He turned around and said as he held up his ten inch hunting blade right before Ryan’s nose.
“One more word out of you, and I’ll feed you to the wolves!” he threatened.
“Please. That little girl is really important to us. Don’t you have children? Did any of you have children?” Yaz said as she looked to all the hunts-people. They were all silent until one woman stepped up and said.
“I did, once. But then Rumpelstiltskin came along and took her away from me.”
“I’m so sorry, how—how old was she?”
“Younger than your friend. He caught her when she wondered too far from home.” The huntswoman answered solemnly.
“My two boys, Isaac and Ferdinand. That—damned imp stole them from me. And it was me Ferdinand’s first hunting lesson. I should never have let his brother go on his own.” Answered another huntsmen.
“My husband and I once had a pair of twins. Two baby girls. They were the lights of our lives. Until that—devilish son of a bitch came and stole them in the night. My husband’s never been the same after that.” Another huntswoman replied. Yaz and Ryan felt heartbroken hearing these stories, but they were surprised when they heard the leader say.
“Even though I had asked for sons, seeing those tiny little things wrapped in their blankets, I—wanted to protect them. I should’ve protected them.”
“If you all want to avenger your fallen children, then help us rescue our friend back.”
“It’s impossible to fight the likes of Rumpelstiltskin. We’ve all tried, and many of us had lost comrades in battle trying to kill him. I won’t risk anymore of my people.” The leader answered.
“There has to be a way to kill him.” Ryan said.
“There’s not. No one can kill the imp that is Rumpelstiltskin. Even the knights from kingdoms have tried. Other sorcerers, and he just turns them either to dust or a part of his werewolf and dragon army.”
“Well if you won’t help us, do any of you know where he would take her?” asked Yaz.
“His castle is five leagues from here.” The leader said pointing West.  He then let out a whistle as he called out “Gregory! Gretel!” it was then two horses came in.  One was a brown stallion and the other was a khaki color mare.  “These horses once belonged to two great warriors. Before they too died at the hands of that imp. We named them after their riders. May they lead you both into battle, just like they did their former masters.”
“Thank you……”
“Hansel.” The leader introduced himself.
“Hansel? Does that mean…..” they both questioned.
“Yes, my sister—after she lost her son she tried to avenge him alongside with her husband. May my sister bless you and guide you in a way that she could not in life.”
“We won’t let you down Hansel, thank you.” Ryan and Yaz mounted the horses but before they took off riding a huntsman called out,  
“Hold on brave heroes,” He walked up to Yaz and Ryan and handed them each two things. A piece of mushroom and a vile of liquid.
“Wait is this…..”
“Since you come from the world where we are stories yes. Eat the mushroom and you will grow, drink the vile and you shall shrink to the size of a field mouse. Be cautious. His goblin spies and werewolf watch dogs patrol all of the castle.” They nodded before finally urging their horses and took off riding Westward.
“Good luck, and my God have mercy on your souls.”
Far into the West where a decayed old castle stood up along a mountain, Rumpelstiltskin had tied to a sacrificial table (y/n) bound and ready for the ceremony that would begin at the moon’s highest point.  As he prepped his potion and sharpened his dagger, he turned towards the young timelord child and said.
“With your powers no one will ever stop me. Not even death.” He poured a vile containing red liquid into a cauldron and the green potion turned red before he stirred it up.  
“Uhh…..mum? Mum are you there?” (y/n) softly groaned starting to feel slightly more conscious.  Rumpelstiltskin turned wide-eyed but remembering in her memories of how the Doctor was now a woman, he walked up to her and disguising his voice, he spoke as the Doctor.
“I’m here sweetheart. Just go back to sleep for now, mummy’s cooking up a special something for her favorite little Time lady.” He then kissed her temple and using his sleep magic, he once again had (y/n) under a sleeping curse.  “All to easy.” His voice spoke normally once again.
Meanwhile inside the lower part of the palace as a goblin guard was walked through the hallways and corridors doing it’s patrol.  It stopped and sniffed the air before looking towards a small crack in the wall.  He walked right up to it and looked inside it before sniffing it again.  After a few sniffs it turned away and proceeded with its patrolling.
It was then peeking out of the wall were mouse sized Yaz and Ryan.  Ryan looked around to make sure it was all clear before he said.
“He’s gone.” He said to Yaz as the two of them came out of the hole and walked along the stone railings.
“Okay, now how do we find (y/n)?” Yaz asked.
“We just—gotta think like an evil mastermind in any other fairytale, where would you keep a young female at?”
“The highest tower point.” She replied.
“Bingo.”
“But do you think we can get there in time? If this is anything like the fairytales then by midnight Rumpelstiltskin is gonna suck her life out. And either time moves faster here or my watch is broken but it’s 5 minutes till midnight.”
“Okay, okay let me think uhh—do you think we should drink the vile?”
“Do you think we can sneak past every guard, get up the tower and get to (y/n) normal sized?”
“We gotta try, otherwise the Doctor’s gonna really be pissed at us for having her daughter killed by some psychopathic fairy.”
“Alright Ryan, but you better be right about this.” They then took the pieces of the mushroom and took a small bite of it before the two of them grew to their normal sizes.  They then took off and hid behind a stairway just as two more goblin guards came their way. The two of them holding their breaths so that the goblin wouldn’t be able to smell them, then once it took off, they quickly and quietly raced on ahead.
As they came to a throne room, they noticed something behind the throne.  Yaz walked up towards the black and skeletal throne and moved it aside before pressing against the wall behind it to reveal a secret passage.
“Secret door, nice.” Ryan commented with a grin.
“This might lead us to the highest point of the castle. Now c’mon we’ve got four minutes left.” Both Yaz and Ryan quickly raced on ahead as fast as they could up the stairs.  When they finally reached the top, they were now standing before some ritual room but it was the young girl sleeping on the floor on top of an engraved symbol.
“(Y/n)!” they both cried out.  They both knelt down beside her and Ryan grew worried.
“Is—is she…..”
“No, no she’s still alive.” Yaz said as she took her pulse.
“Then what’s wrong with her?”
“Sleeping curse. Like snow white and sleeping beauty.”
“Great, so only a true love’s kiss can wake her up. But the Doctor’s not here.”
“Maybe not, if we can get her out of here, maybe that could cause the curse to fade away.”
“It’s worth a shot, let’s go.” Yaz picked (y/n) up and the two of them took off running back down the stairs.  But as they came down, a raven flew in front of them and began flying out cawing out an alarm.
“Oh shit!”
“Run!” Yaz and Ryan proceeded to run out of the palace as quick as they could with a goblin army chasing after them.
Flaming or non-flaming arrows were shot at them as they tried to dodge each one of them.
“Quick the forest!” but just before they could enter the forest, a firewall blocked them from the entrance and there a spiritual form of Rumpelstiltskin appeared.
“Taking my meal ticket away? I wouldn’t dream of it. You should’ve left when you had the chance, but now you will be delicious treats for my darling puppies.” He let out a wicked laugh as soon jumping from the fire were about seven werewolves, snapping with teeth and claws ready to devour Yaz and Ryan.
The two of them took off running as fast as they could as one werewolf was literally breathing down their necks.  Ryan reached the edge of a cliff, but before he could even react Yaz bumped into him just as the werewolf pounced right where they were just standing.  Sliding down the bumpy slide-like path that send them down the cliff before sending them flying through the air and landing in the forest.
“C’mon this way!” Yaz said as she adjusted (y/n) in her grip and took off running. From on top of the cliff, Rumpelstiltskin proclaimed.
“Don’t let them escape this world!” the wolves and goblins soon all poured down out from the palace and into the woods.  He also transformed into a large spiritual raven and took off gliding in the skies to track down the thieves who were the key to his eternal life.
As Yaz and Ryan kept racing through the forest, all they could hear were the sounds of goblin snarls and werewolf howls echoing through the forest.  Their adrenaline pulsing and their fear rising.  They didn’t know whether they were surrounded or about to walk through a trap.
“C’mon we can lose them this way!” Yaz proclaimed as she ran to the left through a thick patch of bushes.  But as they went deeper and deeper, the bushes soon turned into a hell trap of thorns and vines.  Even though they were getting scarred up and bleeding from their hands or cheeks, they kept pressing forward.
Suddenly like a bomb setting off, Rumpelstiltskin landed right behind them in the form of a dragon.  Yaz ran on ahead but as Ryan tried to keep up, he ended up getting tied up in the thorns. He tried to push on ahead but inch by inch he was being dragged back.
“Yaz! YAZ COME BACK!! I’M STUCK!” All the while Rumpelstiltskin kept opening and closing his dragon mouth trying to reach Ryan through the vines and thorns that he too was caught in.
“RYAN!!” Ryan looked up to see Yaz reaching out her hand for his.  He reached out and took it and she began pulling as hard as she could to free her friend.  Rumpelstiltskin roared and tried with all his might to grab a hold of Ryan, but then like a spring chord, Ryan was free and the vines shot out like a whip towards the King Fae’s eyes and the thorns went right into his left cornea which forced him to shoot up and roar in agony.
Yaz and Ryan continued to race on ahead, that’s when things began to look familiar to Ryan.
“We’re close to where we came from Yaz! Go right!” she nodded and the two ran ahead but just before they jumped down the small hill, something exploded from behind them and the three of them went flying.  When the smoke and dust cleared, Yaz and Ryan coughed and groaned in pain.
“Ryan, you okay?”
“Maybe feeling a bruise tomorrow but other than that I’m just fine. Where’s (y/n)?” It was then Yaz noticed that she was no longer holding (y/n).  She and Ryan gasped as now standing over (y/n)’s unconscious body was none other than Rumpelstiltskin.
“I’m gonna enjoy draining the last bit of life from this time lord’s very soul. Then you two,” at that point goblins held onto Yaz and Ryan as Rumpelstiltskin said in an almost ecstasy tone, “I’m gonna enjoy tearing you both a part. Nice. And slow.” He then picked up (y/n) by the collar and his eyes glowed pure red as he was ready to suck the lifeforce out of (y/n).
“NO!!!” Both Yaz and Ryan proclaimed.  Suddenly echoing through the forest was a thunderous roar.  A tiger’s roar to be exact.  It was then shooting out from the bushes was a large tiger.  It frightened off the goblins forcing them to tuck tail and run away, meanwhile the werewolves tried to fight back but with a single thunderous roar and show of it’s long canines, the werewolves backed away submissively.
The tiger then stood before Yaz and Ryan and hissed and mocked charged at any werewolf trying to get near them.  A few more thunderous roars left the entire forest shaken and even Rumpelstiltskin stood there in shock.  The tiger turned towards them and actually spoke.
“Don’t you even dare think of taking them away from me!”
“Oh my god.” Yaz muttered.
“Impossible.” Ryan said in shock.
“No, Doctor. Never. Never again.” He then carefully set (y/n)’s body back down like he was bringing a sacrifice to a God.
“This is your final warning Rumple. Stay. Away. From my family, or you’ll come face to face with something far worse than me being a tiger.” The Doctor lowly snarled as she stood over her daughter before turning back to face Ryan and Yaz. Both of them in shock at seeing the Doctor like this.
She then looked back down at her daughter and lowered her head and gently licked her cheek.  Slowly her chest began to rise and fall as a small groan came from her mouth before finally her eyes were starting to open up.
*My POV*
Whoa, that was—that was a seriously long sleep. Where was I? I mean last thing I remember was…..oh god Rumpelstiltskin, Ryan and Yaz. I slowly opened my eyes but I got an even bigger shock when I saw my mum standing over me.  Her eyes hard with sternness and anger.  Uh-oh, busted.
“Now keep that promise, we’re finished here!” I was then picked up in my mum’s arms. I turned to look at the Fae king who looked at my mother with a suspicious look.
“I promise Doctor, this is all behind me.” He eyed down at me wickedly as his eyes briefly flashed, almost like he just wanted me to see it, before finally disappearing into a beam of green light and fading away.
“Doctor we—”
“Not. Now Yaz! We’re going home now!” she kept hold of me in her arms as we proceeded to head back in the direction we came in.
Next thing we knew, we were back at the park.  Graham was standing by a tree and he said.
“There you three are, just what the hell were you two thinking!?” he snapped worriedly.
“Graham, I will handle this.” Said my mum.  “Now we’ll discuss this in the TARDIS, so everyone let’s head back now and get out of here.” As my mum and Graham walked on ahead, Ryan, Yaz and I lagged behind and I said to them.
“Sorry I got you into this guys.”
“It’s okay (y/n).” said Yaz.
“We’ll try to have the Doctor go easy on you.” We took a cabbie back to where we had left the TARDIS at and let me just say the car ride back there was so tense, it was like waiting for a black hole to devour the entire universe.
When we got back to the TARDIS, mum activated it and we were once again traveling through time and space.  She had Yaz, Ryan and I sitting on the steps as she paced back and forth as she said.
“I don’t know what any of you were thinking. You all could’ve been killed had I not stepped in!”
“Speaking of which how did you turn into a tiger?” questioned Ryan.
“Not the time Ryan. I’ll be dealing with your punishment later.” Graham lectured him.
“I just—I don’t know who to be madder, madder is that even a word? Anyways I don’t know who I should blame more! Yaz, Ryan I told you to watch over her and not let her out of your sight! And you young lady, you deliberately disobeyed me! You knew that the one world I’ve forbidden you to go to and yet you went ahead and did it. And what’s worse is that you put Ryan and Yaz in danger!”
“We’re sorry Doctor.” Yaz said solemnly.
“Just—the three of you please leave the console room, I need to have a word with my daughter alone.” My mum said in a disapproving tone.
“Don’t you worry Doc, I’ll give these two a proper talking to.” Graham said as he guided Ryan and Yaz out of the room and into one of the many rooms that TARDIS had. My mum came up to me and she knelt down in front of me and said.
“Seriously what were you thinking? Do you realize the damage you’ve done? You nearly surrendered your Timelord energy to one of the darkest and most dangerous Fae’s in all of time and space. Do you have any idea what could’ve happened had he succeeded in draining your life force?”
“I get it mum I screwed up okay? I’m sorry! I was just—I just wanted to show Ryan and Yaz that the Grimm Brother’s stories weren’t just stories.”
“There are other ways of showing a reality is real, especially one as dangerous as that. (Y/n) I—when you, Ryan and Yaz didn’t come back I grew so worried, then when I remembered that a Grimm world entrance could be found in this park I was terrified. If something ever happened to you I wouldn’t know what to do. You’re so important to me, and I can’t bear to lose you.”
“I know mum. The last of the timelords is us. You spared me the night I was born from the extermination of our planet when you ran away. I screwed up, I know. But don’t blame Yaz and Ryan, they were just curious. I was the one to goat them on and let them go with it. Hell Yaz was against it at first.”
“First of all language missy, you’re no longer a 24 year old anymore, you’re 11 and I don’t want any swear words coming out of your mouth while in this state.” I cheekily grinned at her. “Second, thank you for telling me who was really responsible for this. I’ll—try to be light on Ryan and Yaz.”
“Yeah, they had nothing to do with this. It was all me. So if anyone should be punished for it, punish me.”
“And you can bet I will, but for now come here.” She held her arms out and I went up and hugged her and she hugged me back. “I’m just so relieved that I found you when I did.”
“But—I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Rumpelstiltskin.” I muttered frightenedly.
“I know.” She said gravely. “He’s not one to give up so easily, but he’ll have to kill me first in order to get to you poppet. I promise.”
“Thank mum, I love you.”
“I love you too (y/n). I love you so much.” She kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter.
After all that, mum apologized and let Ryan and Yaz off the hook since they really had nothing to do with going to Grimm world.  And of course I was punished with no mission going for an entire month. I was forced to stay in current time London 2019 and forced to stay with Yaz’s family, yeah I know it may not seem like much of a punishment but to a timelord who can’t travel and save the world, it’s torture.
But I had sickening feeling that we would soon come in contact with Rumpelstiltskin again, I don’t know when and I didn’t know how but I’ve been getting visions of him. It’s almost like there’s this—psychic connection between us.  I can see him and he can see me, and it frightens me to no end.
I only just hope we can find a way to stop him before my visions come to pass.
78 notes · View notes
2lessfishinthesea · 7 years ago
Text
Preparing For Our Trip
If you’ve reached the end of my last post, you’ll remember that I shared with you how long it took us to plan that trip. Six months.
Tumblr media
Yup, it took us six months--from the time we booked our flights to the day we leave for Brussels, Belgium.
We were lucky to have gotten our tickets at the height of Qatar Airways’ end-of-the-year promo. Well I’m not really sure if it’s an end-of-the-year promo, but a roundtrip ticket from Manila to Brussels and back just cost us about USD 650. I don’t know if you’ll agree, but to me, that’s cheap AF. And that’s rounded up! A ticket to and fro Brussels was like USD 630, but meh… let’s just say the extra 20 dollars was for the coffee we drank while waiting at both Manila and Brussels airports! Or as payment for the free (Qatar Airways lounge realness!) breakfast we got at the Qatar Airways business class lounge at the Doha Hamad International Airport.
HOLD UP, BUSINESS LOUNGE?!?! I’ll make another post about my FIRST business class lounge experience so stay tuned for that!
Anyway, so we booked our tickets around December 2016. Or early January 2017? I’m not really sure. But what I’m sure of is that by December 2016 the four of us were sure that we were going to Europe after our college graduation.
And, boy, we did!
While some of us were doing undergraduate thesis (I didn’t), writing 10 papers for a class, practicing for our final Philo/Theo orals, we were also gathering all the necessary documents to acquire a French visa. We were gonna get a French visa because we were gonna stay in France the longest (10-11 days, I think). We could have gotten a Belgian visa (Belgian… is that right? To me it sounds like I’m getting fries or waffles, hahaha!) because that’s our point of entry, but I was told by our travel agent that a visa to France is actually much easier to acquire. So we made sure that we were gonna stay in France the longest.
Tumblr media
Outside the Louvre
Actually, thinking of how to stay the longest in France wasn’t a problem for us--or for me, as I was the one who planned the itinerary (our routes). I knew I wanted to visit Spain as well, and in the name of cheapness, we had to stop by other cities in the south of France to get from Paris to Barcelona. So, to get from the capital of France to Barcelona and then to Italy, we had to make stops in Toulouse, Marseille, and Nice.
To give you an idea of our route, see this photo:
Tumblr media
THE famed itinerary for our one-month backpacking trip across Western Europe
I just knew that Nice was a beautiful beach city. I’ve seen a couple of posts on Instagram; celebrities in Nice, Cannes, and St. Tropez. I thought, if we have to make stops anyway, might as well visit Nice! But damn. Nice was just something else. And so were Toulouse and Marseille.
Tumblr media
Me and my friends at the beach in Nice, France #VeryGoodVeryNICE
I have never heard of Toulouse. Marseille, I only know because Dr. Jose Rizal passed it at some point in his Europe ~expedition~ (if I remember correctly from my History class in college). So when we got there, we really had no expectations. We were there for two days max, actually, but after that trip, we were so bitin. If I were to translate bitin in English, it’s “not enough” or “hungover”. Hungover because those little towns were beautiful! The people were so nice. And even if they were kind of sketchy (we were four girls walking from the train station to your Airbnb in the middle of the night so we thought it was sketchy), the scenery and camaraderie of the people truly made up for it.
Anyway, back to our itinerary!
Tumblr media
Just some of the perks you get from taking trains: #ViewsForDayz
After figuring out where we’re gonna go, we looked for the famous landmarks in each city. We also booked cheap tours and tickets--like city passes in Barcelona and Berlin (you know those hop-on/hop-off buses, yeah we got those). We also looked for Airbnbs that gave us the best deals: free breakfast, with washer and dryer, and the likes. We were gonna be backpacking, which means we can’t bring a lot of clothes (or things) with us, so we needed places to live with washers and dryers to remain fresh and clean, haha!  It’s also a plus if it’s near the city! Oh, lawd. I remember our Airbnb in Zürich. We went down the wrong stop on our first day so we had to walk to our Airbnb and it was SO. FREAKING. FAR. At least the lake was near our place, and it was really really quiet there? That small town vibe, is what I’m saying. Or our Airbnb in Hoofddorp. It’s like 20-30 minutes away from Amsterdam, and we had to take another bus then walk (which was so freaking’ far from the stop as well) to our Airbnb. We had free breakfast there, though.
We’re also lucky to have booked Airbnbs with full kitchens. We were able to cook our own food (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). I’m forever indebted to Carrefour and Monop(rix), by the way.
Actually, most of the landmarks in Europe have no entrance fees. Unless it’s a museum, or a castle of some sort, then that’s when you’ll have to pay. In Paris, if you get a city + museum pass, you can get free rides to the subway/bus system PLUS free entrance to its many museums. For Marseille, for example, a tourist card gives you free bus rides and a free trip to Ile de Frioul, a nearby island. It also gives you free access to museums, free coffee/tea, free soap, and etc. A Milan tourist card, on the other hand, gives you free tram/bus rides, one free Uber ride, and more! I say tourist cards are worth your money, especially if you’re staying at a certain place for 48 hours or more.
Tumblr media
Ile de Frioul
With the hop-on/hop-off pass, which we got for Barcelona and Berlin, we basically just used it so we can see all the famous landmarks and go around the city in a short span of time. For Barcelona, however, we had to purchase tickets to get inside La Sagrada Família. But like in Berlin, we were there for less than 24 hours only, so we figured that the best way to see Berlin was through a tour bus. We were also able to go shopping… ayayay! And we were able to eat at one of the BEST restaurants in Berlin (and for cheap!), so I’d say we got a pretty sweet deal.
Meanwhile, securing our visas was a breeze, tbh. We applied for visas in April (after Holy Week). We could have applied sooner, but you can only submit your applications at least three months before your departure date. We were slated to leave in June, so we can’t submit it in January or February, even if we had already completed our documents. We would have submitted in March, but we all had to leave the country during Holy Week, and we didn’t wanna take a risk. If we had problems with the visa processing, we wanted to wait at least after we’ve come back from Holy Week break. After that break anyway, our next trip was to Europe.
Because we hired a travel agency to help us with our visa processing, we had to pay for the processing fee PLUS the visa fee. But if you’re going to do it yourself, you just have to pay for the visa fee. I think you can also submit your application online (not requiring an appearance before the embassy), but in our case, we went to VFS Global in Makati and submitted our documents there personally. VFS checked all our documents and they were the ones who sent it to the French embassy. I think it took about a week before we were granted a tourist visa and got our passports back.
Fast forward to one of the most difficult parts: a few days before our trip.
I bought a 44L backpack online from Cabin Zero. It’s orange, and pretty small compared to my friends’ backpacks, which were 60L! You might think filling a 44L backpack was easy. For me, however, it wasn’t. I had to really think about what to wear, what to bring, and all that crap. I mean, I was so used to bringing huge luggages! I used to bring the same number of tops and the same number of jeans and the same number of everything as the days that I’m going to be away. The same jacket on my photo at the Golden Gate Bridge and the Statue of Liberty? No thanks!
Tumblr media
That’s me in the middle with my orange backpack from Cabin Zero. I had to tie all my dirty clothes outside my backpack LMAO. (Thank God I brought a laundry bag, hahahaha! We did a round of laundry the night before, but I think I didn’t wash everything so yah...)
But that was me before. Oh, boy. How this trip changed me.
Because we were gonna go backpacking, we had to bring ONLY the essentials: a few neutral-colored tops, shorts, leggings, jeans, a dress… basically one or two of what I’d like to wear on my trip. I learned how to fold my underwear properly so they wouldn’t take a lot of space, how to mix and match the same pieces. But most of all, I learned to pack less. I think with this trip, I learned how to be less materialistic? I dunno. Again, maybe it’s just me, but after that trip, I don’t really think that much about clothes anymore. I used to go shopping all the time and have the latest trending pieces for myself, but now, I’ve learned to wear and wear again the same thing. I’ve learned to buy the classics; the essentials. I’ve learned that comfort really is better than trends. But don’t get me wrong. You can be comfortable and stylish (SWAGGY) at the same time.
Through the whole packing process, I think that’s when me and my friend spoke on the phone the most. “What are you gonna bring?”, “How many of this are you bringing?”, “Did you bring this?”, “Dude, I don’t know!”, “OMG, how do I fit all these in my bag?!”. Those were just some of the questions we had, and thankfully we’ve answered all of them.
Anyway, I think I’m ending my post now, but before that, I’m giving you guys a summary of what I’ve learned from planning and preparing for this trip (yay, tips!):
Pack light. Pack only what you need. Black, white, and gray shirts, leggings, denim shorts, a white OR black dress, slippers, and comfy white sneakers--all the clothes you’ll ever need. Five or six pairs of underwear. Three pairs of socks. Medium bottles of shampoo (so you won’t have to buy from there). Don’t think to much about fashion. Go for a minimalist yet polished look.
A 44L backpack is enough. Okay, I may or may not have bought an extra luggage in Amsterdam (but that was because I went shopping for my family? Hahaha!). But if you’re not one to bring home A LOT of goods, a 44L backpack is just right. With a 60L, you’ll have lots of space, but if it’s full, it’s gonna be a bit hard to take with you since you’ll be walking and walking and jumping on and off trains.
Book Airbnbs that give the best deals--free washer and dryer, free breakfast, a full kitchen, and close to the city center. But if you want to be in the city AND get the feel of the countryside, then go book an Airbnb that’s like 30 minutes away, haha! You can book hostels as well, but imo, Airbnbs are A LOT cheaper, especially if you’re traveling with a big group. And you’ll have your own place, meaning it’s a hundred times safer. Sure, you’ll get other awesome perks from living at hostels (you’ll meet fellow backpackers [and cute ones, lol], up your networking game, and etc.), but it’s a whole new city for you to discover… but meh! Your choice, really! Just make sure YOUR SAFETY IS YOUR PRIORITY.
That being said, allow me to reiterate that YOUR SAFETY IS YOUR PRIORITY. Don’t trust ANYONE that easily. Sure, go have fun and let loose a little, but make sure that you’re not out giving your personal details to just anyone. If you’re going home with someone… go to their place instead? LOL Or you know, just bring a taser and/or pepper spray and/or Swiss knife with you always! (Except for when you’re going to museums and stuff because that’s not allowed!)
Have extra copies of all your flight bookings, passport details, visa/s, accommodations, and tours (if applicable) in your backpack. Although I’m for being environmentally-friendly, you can’t be too sure. Have copies of everything IN YOUR PHONE and IN AN ENVELOPE hidden somewhere in your backpack. That way, when something happens (you lose your passport or whatever), you have proof of legal entry into Europe (or wherever).
Leave an extra copy to your family back home so they know where you’re going or where you’ll be in case of emergency. And last, but definitely not the least,
Take advantage of all the free stuff! Free landmarks, free perks from your tourist card, free museums, free EVERYTHING. But be safe, okay? Don’t trust people that easily (especially when it comes to free drinks), so use all those perks from government-accredited/esteemed providers.
Well, that’s it! They’re all I could think of for now. If I do think of more, I’ll be sure to update this post. :)
If you have anything to add, you can leave a comment or reblog this post with your comment! You can also message me privately; I’ll be happy to chat with you.
HAPPY PLANNING!
2 notes · View notes
zibizuba · 6 years ago
Link
Today we present: Best Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates. You can chose your best one and also update your facebook status to funny.
List with Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates!!
I know the world isn’t going to end in 2015 cuz my yogurt expires in 2016!
I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
Hello, everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “
Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Most Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
sometimes, not remembering may be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a Rubiks cube… This could take a while.
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe I’m moving in circles.
Read also Unbearably Funny Bear Puns
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Dear Santa, let me explain…
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty-second lover.
My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Statistically, 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
More Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
I’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
Cut here —————–✄———————-
Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Best Friends Listen to what you don’t say.
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret.
More funny articles on Homepage
I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
what has two ears and can’t hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
I’m not a racer….But I can fly.
press the star below and watch it glow 
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
I think my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course, I like my own comments. I’m awesome.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Tumblr media
pense lol funny facebook status
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were giving me a dirty look…I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
too cool for school.
trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
definitely not watching what not to wear.
forcing my dog to learn how to google.
kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
X is Loading ████████████ 99%
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to Life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish can’t Drown.
X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
a day late and a dollar short.
Insert coin to view my status message.
If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
We have so much in common. You want to travel, I want you to go.
happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
> $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
20/20 hearing!
Short funny joke
Boy: So, sex at my place? Girl: Yah! Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder. Girl: OK? ~Later~ …Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE! Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
why do we need school??? music~we have YouTube for that. Spanish ~I watch Dora. English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol). geography~i will buy a globe. history~they are all dead anyway. math~that is why we have the calculator. spelling~we have spell check on the computer.
People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”
“how do you spell gay?” “g.a.y?” “noooo! j.u.s.t.i.n b.i.e.b.e.r!” (;
what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD
Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.
Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.
We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich ! 
Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me.. Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist? Me: Eminem Mom: The candy? Me: no the rapper Mom: What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?
status: I can’t log into facebook 
A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser
*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNANT* Doctor: your pregnant Blond: *smiles*  Doctor: your having twins Blond: *crys* Doctor: is’ant that good? Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!
Did you know in Japan girls keep their phones on vibrate and put them down their crotch? Don’t feel bad if they don’t answer. It means they’re busy  All i want to know is, where can i get a number? 
Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!
My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”
Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling
Guy: Did It Hurt? Chick: Did What Hurt? Guy: When you fell from… Chick: Heaven Awww :’) Guy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down!! Chick: ………. Guy: Hahaha BITCH!!
Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.
honk if you love Jesus Textwhile driving if you want to meet him.
Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.
How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….
I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me.
I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me, he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new.
I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. His tombstone may read – iDead…
Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.
A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!
Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!
One day a chicken crossed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!
Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!
I’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not sluts & bitches !
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself.
Check also Tree Puns Funny Memes, Birch Please
Artykuł 100+ Best Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates pochodzi z serwisu PENSE LOL.
via PENSE LOL
0 notes
emily-r-oswan · 8 years ago
Text
Yo ho, A Pirate’s Life for Me?
~ A compliation of an ic interaction between Agent Siren and Director Rook ( @director-rook ) ~
There was a light hum in the air, an electricity of excitement which thrummed like a heart beat, spiking quicker the closer Siren arrived upon the scene. Called upon by her Director, personal invitation to join the woman hidden away in the dock yard of the Stormwind Harbor - in the very least to say, Siren was almost positive one of two things would occur.
One, she would have her throat slit and her body disposed of into the waves, to be buried at sea. Or two, some serious lip action was about to undergo and it assuredly wouldn’t be the sort which conversation was held.
Personally, Siren was routing for the latter. Her infatuation for the stone cold kaldorei was alittle beyond just teasing. That theory could be derived from how her throat tightened upon the approach, the shrouded elven maiden by a shilouette against the changing colors of the horizon, the pinks and purples of the setting sun vibrant.
I bet she’s gonna kill me. 
Within the instant had Siren’s work boots brought her to stand just to the left and behind Director Rook, a tangled plastic bag griped within her gloved hands, the reek of greasy Pandaren noodles a heavy scent - about as heavy as the salt of the ocean water.
“Alrigh', if yah gon' drown me in th' ocean, can I atleast get a last request? One las’ kiss good bye?”
The joke on the woman’s tongue would be laced with a minor, delicate sprinkle of underlying confusion and caution.
The Kaldorei hadn’t even need to turn for Siren to know there was a scowl upon her face, given the tone of voice she wielded was no more than a scoff paired with sharp sarcasm, "You're hilarious. And to think noodles could've been your last meal."
In an instant had Siren’s features would scrunch up from beneath her mask, the noisy to-go bag at hand rustling with the sway of her body.  She glances towards her supper, the taste of the wriggly, over cooked noodles still a familiar texture on her tongue, as only moments prior was she enjoying the authentic cusiine before being called upon.
"Egh... Too greasy. Sad last meal."
Rook snorts a bit. "Indeed. But you're not in trouble. On the contrary.....I have a task that I believe will greatly interest you."
Task? Bet she’s gonna ask me t’ fall off th’ face o’ Azeroth.
The confusion, however, would be replaced with enthusiasm and excitement. That electricity would return, causing her heart to speed up in rate with anticipation - she hadn’t even cared to try and conceal her giddiness, inquiring, “Wha’ task?”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
~ Tada! Siren’s mission: Infiltrate the piracy world, build hard cases against the most extreme, and tear them from the inside out.
This is open to everyone apart of, as well as not secluded to, the Dead Sun Harbor. Aassuredly the Siren will be lurking here often for leads to ships dealing in drug trades, human trafficking, or the general illegal activities that’ll get your ass grassed if caught!
So please, contact me, or specifically Director Rook for plots and story arcs!
This is a chance to prove your character and their crew are beyond superior than even the simple Spectre, that they are the true makers of the night, phantoms in the shadows- Untouchable!
So please, make friends or foe out of the soon-to-be Captain! Lets make this a history for the books!
Rook, as per keeping to her teasing, bitchy persona, stands at attention, proceeding to question the erratic Siren: "Remind me....your ship, the Silver Reform. Military? Or Pirate?" 
Her throat constricts at the mention of the past, her eyes fluttering closed as to recall her old life.
“... Neither. We was a band o' guards which sailed a group o' explorers to n' fro' between dig sites all 'bout th' world. T' some extent, towards the end of m' reign, we devolved into some form of piracy- Stealing the treasures o' others, fighting o'er ruins for th' valuables.“
Seemingly satisfied, Rook lets off a short grunt and a nod. "And you left for your own reasons. To work here. But you seem like most sailors....the call of the sea can only be resisted for so long."
For six years, actually.
Within reason, the SIren would begin to shift uncomfortably atop her boots. Rook wasn’t wrong, the ocean was always the long lost lover whom was neglected due to bad decisions. Siren missed it. It was her life since she was eleven years old.
There would be a hint of depression to her voice, soon to begin gnawing the inside of her cheek to replace her saddness with pain. She would not cry. “ I didn't leave voluntarily, ma'am.”
“I know.”
There would be a moment of silence.
Rook speaks once again, this time in a manner to clarify: “But you still feel the call of the sea.”
“It ne'er left, even six years later,” remarks the Siren, matter-of-fact in tone.
“Good. All the more reason for you to be here.”
The hint of Rook preparing to further the conversation, Siren would fall into a state of comfortable posture. This would consist of the woman rolling her weight to reside in one leg thus cocking a hip, her arms folding beneath her bosom, her fingers curling into the arms of her armor.
“Current estimations of our world put the sea at sixty percent of it-.”
“Tha’s a factoid I coulda lived without,” Siren sasses, incapable to prevent it.
As if she hadn’t even spoke over, Rook continues, “And yet it's an area the best inteligence agencies fail to cover. The number of sea-based crime and threats are significant. Between the naga, pirates, even monsters lurking Vash'Jry. The navy, try as they might, makes little impact in the criminal activity sea borne. They can only delve so far.”
There was suspicion in the Siren’s eyes, which is soon to be replaced with bubbling giddiness upon Rook’s remark: “We’re going to fix that.” 
It was too good to be true. It must be.
To refrain from blurting out her thoughts, the Siren would struggle to keep her voice calm and collected, inquiring, “ ... we are? Dare I ask jus' 'ow yah figure tha'?”
“ You've the skills and the dedication-.”
A doubtful tone leaks form the human’s lips, a brow cocked and head canted, “I do?”
The kaldorei turns to fixate the human with an even, unblinking, unhumored stare. “Your record implies it.”
“I haven’t much agent work on th’ high seas. Yah referrin’ t’ a record based on land operation-...”
“ I'm offering to give you your own ship,  Siren,” interjects the elf.
“I’m down,” expels the breathy reply, her chest squeezing with excitement, heart thrumming wildly against her rib cage so hard and so fast Siren was convinced the elf would be able to hear it.
A ship. Her own ship...
Rook lets out an amused grunt. "I thought so."
A ship. A-... A ship?
“... ma'am, no' t'... Yah know, doubt yah wisdom, o' wha' e'er... Bu' yah are aware tha' it takes more than one loud mouthed girlie t' sail a ship?”
Matter of fact, the woman answers and, albeit, fails to quell the Siren’s worries: “ In the coming weeks, we are going to find you and capture a neutral vessel for you to commandeer under an alias.”
“So's am I hiring confidants aware o' m' genuine affilitations, or acquiring an entirely new persona fit to the regime of piracy, n' allowin' m' crew to be mislead on who’s leadin’ ‘em?” There was hesitation now, her eyes clouding with fear. There was no worse thing a captain could do besides misleading her crew, after all.
“We will find a limited but trustworthy crew. Either someone who can be paid off enough or is loyal. You will be operating as a privateer, but look like a pirate.”
Upon Siren’s silence, Rook would continue, likely satisfied that for once the human was speechless. “We have a few....targets I want you to build relationships with. Your job will be to get in the know so we can minimize Alliance casualties, and eliminate threats as need be. You will serve here when possible, but your priority will be this.
While the elf was quickly debrief the human, Siren found herself incapable to focus.
Piracy. She was returning to the life as an undercover agent... The life of espionage would follow her anywhere, it seems.
I think I still have m' old n' worn fisher's hat, too. Wha' good'll do me, I imagine little.
Stirring from her thoughts, the human straightens and refocuses upon her director.
“You will report to me as often as you can. But first, we need to establish yourself. So for the first part, I need you to find a ship you like; that's worth your time. Then we'll work on commandeering it.“
Silence.
“Any questions?”
“... Any other agents I'll be workin' with? Or is this minimized crew all I've go' t' watch m' back? Th' world o' piracy is a dangerous one. E'en if they happen t' buy m' guise and ruse, tha' don' mean I'm protected.”
“Unfortunately, getting you a full crew of agents is unlikely. But I will strive to find one or two who might be willing to step up as First mate or second. We will also be 'modifying' your ship to maximize power and security.”
There would be a dry chuckle upon her lips, along with a joke, along with crinkles in her eyes - such a manner that could easily be tell tell signs of her grinning wide beneath her mask. “ Nothin' like a pimped ou' ride.”
No other agents to have yah back, deadlier than gettin’ fisted by cho’gall...
“This shi's gon' 'ave m' life on th' line. In the likely event tha' I die, can yah ensure Oakley get's a normal childhood?”
The silence to follow was one filled with somberness, the Siren sobered by the thought of orphaning her son so young. Deep in her heart, she knew her faith in Rook is not easily misplaced. But a mother tends to worry.
“ We will do everything in our power to make sure that never happens. But we already have protocol in play to make sure it does. Why do you think I inquired about him at first meeting?”
There is a small smile to her lips, a joke to her tone, “I genuinely jus’ though’ yah was bein’ nosy.”
Rook's mask shifts. "I don't have to be nosey if I already know. I may be a....what's the phrase you humans use? 'cold-hearted Bitch'...but I always respect the wishes of a mother."
Confidence. Rook’s assurances gave Siren confidence, fueling her with the necessary positivity to keep her sain. Siren inclines her head in return, "Righ', s'long as Oak and his pup ain' separated. Do y' have any information on a couple possible candidates subject t' their boats gettin', uh... ‘Confiscated’?”
It seemed Siren wasn’t the only one eager to shift the topic, as soon the kaldorei answers, “I have reports of ships that I believe are prime targets for acquisition. But it is your call, Siren. You have to find a ship that fits you. Like a good sword.”
Her mission was clear: Find a ship to take. Infiltrate the world of pirates.
Contacts would be required, valuable contacts that could give her alias as Captain enough credibility to not be killed the first chance anyone got.
“But if you are caught, we will deny your existence.“
Oof... there went that confidence. Siren’s shoulders would sag, her eyes wide upon how... Blunt the remark was, of course who could expect any less of Rook. Siren proceeds to formulate her fingers into mock pistols,"Plenty time, I imagine- Time I care no' t' waste, surprise surprise."
“Well get to work. If you require anything, contact me immediately. I expect great things, Siren. Don't let me down.“
Cockiness would replace the sudden overwhelming feeling of impending doom. That cockiness would surely be enough to keep her head on straight, as with high spirits... She was capable of anything.
Siren was soon to stalk back up the hill and through the dock yard, a huge grin hidden beneath her mask. "I ain' capable o' failure, dawlin'!" 
... Shi’, I ‘ope I can’ still fit m’ ole tights...
47 notes · View notes
lovesarangfirst · 8 years ago
Text
Destiny::GD::Part 19::Mino
[Your POV]
Seeing Mino’s smiling face irritated you. After the nurse left you wheeled over to his side of the bed and pinched him.
“Ah!”Mino cried,”What was that for?!!” “Yah,”You growled,”You risked your life for me! You could have died!” “Wah,”Mino snickered in disbelief,”So I should have let you die?” “Yes.”You blurted out,”If that’s what was going to happen then it has to happen.” Mino shook his head,”You’re crazy. And I don’t care what you say, I would do it again.” You sighed and looked away,”Well thank you regardless. Now you’re injured though.” “I will be fine. I will just take it easy.”He replied. “But you guys are going to be promoting soon.”You reminded,”How are you going to perform?” “I can just stand or sit.”Mino shrugged,”Just no dancing for a bit.”
You groaned and put your head down on his bed. As soon as WINNER fans find out he risked his life for you, you knew you would be ripped apart. That’s when you felt your hair getting stroked, Mino was doing the same you did to GD. It felt so relaxing but you knew you had to stop him. You lifted your head back up and Mino’s hand fell back beside him, to his disappointment.
“So how are you paying me back?”He asked, trying to break the ice. You made a thinking face,”Uhm...I don’t know. What do you want?” “Let’s go on a date.”Mino suggested with his smile back again. “Mino-yah,”You sighed,”I told you-” “Just one.”He said with a sad look. 
You haven’t seen him that upset in a long time. The last time was when he left Block B as a trainee all those years ago. You were trying to think of what to say.
“I just want one.”He finished. You stared and him and finally sighed,”Okay. But it’s not a date, just dinner for the 2 of us.” Mino smiled with a face,”Uhm...isn’t that basically a date? Have you not dated in a long time?” “Tsk.”You snickered,”Take it or leave it.” “Fine, fine, fine.”He said,”I will take it.” “We’ll have to be super careful.”You reminded,”Especially since the media is going to go crazy about this accident.”
As Mino was about to say something, his phone went off. 
“Well, I guess we’re madly in love and dating already.”He joked as he showed you his phone. 
Taehyun had sent Mino a screen shot of an article from Dispatch titled,’WINNER’s Mino and girlfriend, 24/7′s leader and fellow labelmate, Hyorin injured in car accident.’ *NO!* You figured it was going to happen, media loves to jump to conclusions about possible idol relationships but to see it in real life shocked you. You quickly took his phone and clicked on the link that was sent after. Apparently an old trainee you two used to practice with shared photos of you and Mino together, some where they purposely cut out other people, and talked about how close you two were so it was not a surprise you were dating or that Mino saved you. You groaned after you finished and Mino took  his phone back to read the article too.
“Am I really that disgusting?”He asked, with that same sad look again. “What?”You asked. “I understand you turning me down.”Mino started,”But you seemed to be disgusted by any type of suggestion that we could be a couple or dating.”
Seeing his sad face you wanted to tell him so bad. You wanted to be honest and let him know that you were already dating someone. That if you didn’t have GD then Mino could maybe have had a chance. But you knew you couldn’t. You wouldn’t do it.
“You are not disgusting.”You reassured,”Mino you have shown me that you would take care of me. You always have. That’s why you’re one of my closest friends. But I just can’t.” Mino forced a smile,”It’s okay. I stlll have hope.”
He was so sweet.
“So, where do you want to go for the date?”He asked.
[GD POV]
GD rubbed his temples as he sat at his desk in the hostel they were staying in Japan. Everything was happening so fast, which seemed to be the normal ever since he started dating Hyorin. He texted her back after he grabbed something from the kitchen.
GD: So how did the talk with Mino go? It took a minuted but Hyorin replied: It went well. But... GD: Ugh. What is it this time? He confess to you again? Hyroin: No...but I did tell him that I would have dinner with him. GD held his breath and sighed: So let me get this straight, you went to go thank him, and ended coming out with a date? Hyroin quickly replied: No, I made it very clear it wasn’t a date. It is just dinner. It’s the least I can do for what he did for me.
GD thought for a second. Mino did risk his life and one dinner wasn’t much to as for. But GD couldn’t help but feel the jealousy. He had to admit he was already jealous of Mino’s history with Hyorin but their personalities went well together so they could easily make a well matched couple. But GD let it go. Hyorin is still here because of him.
GD: You’re right. It’s the least you can do...but how are you feeling? Hyorin: I feel better. Just disappointed. The members saw me earlier and I know me not being able to perform is a strain. But luckily this weekend is last promotion for our album.  GD: You had no control over it. I hope they were understanding. Hyorin: They were but I feel like I am causing more issues than anything.
GD knew how she felt. That’s how he felt about his members whenever a scandal broke out about him. 
GD: It will be okay, these things blow over...for the most part. But anyways, Minhyuk talked to your doctor and you are cleared to fly in a couple days for the last concert.  Hyorin: Yeah he told me, I’m excited! You better take care of me during our date too. GD: Of course, just make sure you feel better. That’s what is important.  Hyorin: I will. But I am going to go to sleep, so I will text you or call you tomorrow? GD: Yeah you should rest. But hey Hyorin: Yeah? GD: Just remember I make more money than Mino. Just saying. Hyorin: Oh I won’t ever forget that. I do want a free Lambo you know.
GD smiled to himself and they said goodbye one last time... Maybe one day his Lambo will be hers. 
[Your POV]
You were scrolling through articles all about you dating Mino or GD dating Kiko and sighed to yourself. *This is just crazy* Irritated, you carried your MacBook with you as you went into Insook and Jiyeon’s room, and laid on Jiyeon’s bed with your head on her back.
“I thought you were done stressing out over that unnie.”Jiyeon sighed as she continued reading her book. “It’s kind of hard when our careers are also affected.”You sighed,”How can you guys not be freaking out about this?” Insook rolled over and looked at you,”As soon as we found out about you guys, we knew it would problematic every once and a while. Just like how one day someone is going to notice Jiyeon and B2ST’s Gikwang similar jewelry.” You both looked a Jiyeon. “It’s a coincidence is all.”She quickly explained,”Our stylists-” “He’s clearly not in YG.”You reminded her. “-are really good friends is all.”Jiyeon finished, starting to blush.  “And you know they are good friends because you ask about Gikwang possibly?”Insook guessed before drinking some water.  “Wait,”You started thinking,”...Do you actually go running after practice? Because I remember you said practice was enough exercise and then suddenly-” “I just felt that I needed a little more since neitzen’s pay such close attention and-”Jiyeon said. “Yah,”Insook snickered,”Just admit it already. You are normally sarcastic and stern but you’re blushing and stuttering.” Jiyeon put her book down and sat up,”Fine, fine. I just wanted to keep it a secret as much as possible.” “Wow.”Insook nodded,”You guys work fast. How long has it been?” “It’s still new.”She admitted,”But he’s nice and just as thoughtful and sweet as he seems.” You made a throw up noise. “Oh please.”Jiyeon shot rolling her eyes,”You���re one to talk.” You just stuck your tongue out at her when Bibi walked in. “Unnie,”Bibi said as she sat next to you,”What’s this I hear you’re going on a date with Mino? I thought you said the articles that you were dating was fake??” “What??”Insook said looking at you wide eyed,”Yah you said you shot him down!” “I did!”You sighed. Honestly you were hoping the girls wouldn’t find out about that date. Actually...”Wait how do you know? It was only between us two?” Bibi made a face,”Well I talk to Seunghoon every once and a while and apparently Mino told him.” “Oh now you’re talking to Seunghoon??”Insook gaped,”Am I the only one not talking to someone??” “No, no!”Bibi denied,”We’re just friends. He’s really nice but we’re just friends...We can be friends you know, I know we’re still rookies but we run into other artists all the time.” “We’re getting distracted here,”Jiyeon reminded and looked at you,”You are going on a date with Mino?” You sighed,”It is just a dinner. To pay him back for yesterday. May I remind you all that he saved my life.” They all looked at each other and had guilty looks on their face.  “Exactly.”You continued,”It’s all he wanted and I was fine to agree. I did make it clear it was not a date.” Eunseo walked into the room with a bag of chips and she plopped onto Insook’s bed,”So you guys left me out I see.” “And I see you don’t care for our diet.”You joked as you snatched the bag from her. “Hey this is our last week of promotions,”She reminded,”I think I can take a-hey!” You started eating some and said,”As the leader I will sacrifice my diet to eat these and ensure you did not waste your money. You can thank me later.” Insook held out her hand for the bag and you passed it to her while Eunseo made a face. “The eldest members will take the burden.”Insook said in a serious tone as she ate a couple chips.
The night continued of shenanigans and you were reminded what you were working for. For you, your members, and your passion to perform. Life was amazing.
2 notes · View notes
nsschaintale · 6 years ago
Text
Link 4: Perseverance Draws The Line
CHAINTALE Extra
Chain Link: The Fallen Royal Scientist
Link 4: Perseverance Draws The Line
It had been years since the previous human fell, and things have settled down. There had been some monsters whose time had come for them to be Fallen, and there had been some funerals that were performed. Attempts were made to save some of the monsters, but there was nothing to be done. Nowadays, things have calmed down. By this time, Tether and Catena became old enough to do entry-level things related to what they wanted. Tether was still a bit of an errand boy, but is allowed in the restricted areas alone and learning how to help with low-level tasks around the laboratory. Catena also became an errand boy, but still not close enough to fully join the Royal Guard. Tether sometimes help the guards in the snowfields with deliveries when not at the lab. He was about to return to the lab when he heard something coming from the forest from the direction of the Ruins. He rushed to hide behind the sentry station and when he peeked over, he spotted a human. The human has shoulder-length light brown hair, hazel brown eyes, and wearing black fullframed glasses, a shortsleeved purple shirt layered over a white longsleeved button shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. The human was trudging their way in the snow and noticed the station. Curiously, they went to investigate it and when they got closer, Tether popped up to say hello, startling the bespectacled human. By the voice, Tether realized it was a boy.
Human: M-M-MONSTER!!
Tether: Yeah, I know I am. You a human?
Human: Y-Yeah. What's...your name..?
Tether: I'm Tether! Tether Gadwyn! You?
Human: I'm Percival, but you can call me Percy. You...won't hurt me, will you?
Tether: You didn't hurt anyone, did ya?
Percy (shakes his head): No.
Tether: Then I won't!
Percy: Hmn...Hm? (cleans his glasses and put them back on) Whoa, you're a walking skeleton?
Tether: Yeah. Why?
Percy: I've never seen one before. They're usually buried underground when someone dies. (opens a purple notebook and takes a black pen out; starts writing) Monster Type Number..... Living Skeleton...
Tether: Really...? (glances in the notebook) Whatcha writin' in there?
Percy: Oh.. would it be okay if I wrote about you?
Tether: About me? Sure! Oh, I gotta warn ya. The other monsters are really into catchin' humans, so ya better watch out.
Percy: Are you gonna catch me, too?
Tether: Not really, but you did catch my attention!
Percy: I did?
Tether: Yeah, because I didn't catch you, you caught me!
Percy: ….
Tether: Uuh...wait...Maybe it should be... (clears his throat) The only thing that is caught here..is my attention!
Percy: Um...
Tether: Nevermind, I'll..work on it.
Percy: Were you trying to make a joke?
Tether: Yah, but it didn't work. But I got a...skele-ton..of others to try!
Percy: Pft haha, there's one.
Tether (throws his fists up): Yes! I did it! Ah, but I gotta go. Catch ya later!
Percy: Bye, Tether! (watch him run off) He seems nice. I hope the other monsters are nice, too.
They weren't.
Like the humans before him, he was also chased by the monsters. But unlike them, Percy was getting some unexpected help. From snowballs mysteriously flying at the monsters to seeing them being directed away from him, he was grateful to his mystery helper. At times, he had ran into Tether in the snowfields and was often asked about what he writes in his notebook. Percy was willing to share his findings and observations with him when he's not trying to dodge monster attacks. While he was getting afraid of the monsters' actions, he's begun to trust Tether. Tether wanted to show Percy around Snowdin, but knowing that the monsters and the Royal Guard are actively hunting the human down, they didn't have much time to do so. Once they did manage to reach town, they had to sneak around to avoid the searching monsters. As they did, Percy tried to take as many notes as he could, causing Tether to question his insistence in writing as they hid behind a restaurant.
Tether: You're writin' again. Why do ya do that? Is that what humans do?
Percy: Not all of them, but it's what I do.
Tether: Really?
Percy: Yep! I love history, and I want to learn about everything that happened in the past and how it shaped our future.
Tether: But why did ya come down 'ere?
Percy: Because I wanted to see if there was any truth to the legends I've heard of, mainly the Monster-Human War. (frowns) But it looks like I won't be able to get any answers from everyone here since they're chasing me...
Tether: Hmm...Maybe ya should talk to m' Papa! He's old enough ta know stuff 'bout that!
Percy: He does?
Tether: Yeah! He's a scientist, so he's smart!
Percy: Good idea! I wanna meet him!
Tether: We betta go then!
Leaving their hiding spot, the duo snuck their way out towards the snowstorm out on the outskirts of Snowdin. Realizing it was time for him to go, Percy was about to leave Tether but not without giving him a gift.
Percy (hands Tether a blue covered notebook): Here.
Tether: A book?
Percy: A notebook! I wanted to thank you for helping me so far.
Tether: Err, welcome! Thanks fer the notebook! Oh, ya goin' through Waterfall, ya gotta watch fer the Head Guard!
Percy: The Head Guard?
Tether: Yeah, ya know those Royal Guard dogs? The leader is 'round Waterfall. He's a horse.
Percy: Okay, I'll watch for- a horse?
Tether: Of course.
Percy: Oh, that will be easy.
Tether: Huh?
Percy: I'll be able to hear him coming from a mile away. See you soon!
Tether: Eeer, okay. Bye.
Once they separated, Percy entered into Waterfall. This sent Percy into a writing frenzy as he documented everything he came across. The gem-encrusted walls, the flower bridge, even the waterfalls. As he traveled, he didn't realize he was being followed. He noticed a few stone panels on the wall and studied them. He noticed they had the story of the Monster-Human War engraved on them. From what he read, Percy begin to question the truth behind the legend and whether or not the monsters were even bad in the first place. As he was thinking, he was startled by a shout from nowhere, turning to see a horse-headed monster clad in black armor and cloth with chains. That was what Tether meant by the leader being “a horse”. Percy dodged the spear thrusted at him and took off running. Along the way, he had run into areas where there are stone panels on the walls. Whenever he felt safe enough, he would read them and get even more disturbed by the story. He realized they had notes of the legend he had heard of, but not in the way he was taught. Something about Souls and the way they're handled between monsters and humans. Percy was feeling like the war wasn't a war. Rather than the monsters attacking humans out of evil intentions, the humans were attacking the monsters out of fear of their power.
Percy: “Not a single Soul was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust...” It wasn't a war...it was a...what's that word....massacre..? No way..... (writes in his notebook) This isn't right... The legend was wrong...
Percy was bothered by this revelation during his walk. He definitely has to get this information out. Distracted, he found himself in a room full of blue flowers and Tether was standing among them.
Percy: Whoa, I've never seen flowers like these before..
Tether: I 'eard they're Echo Flowers. They can repeat anythin' ya say to 'em. We monsters use 'em to make wishes!
Percy: Ooh, I want to make a wish. (crouches by the closest one) I wish I can tell the truth of the monsters.
Tether: Eh? The truth of the monsters?
Percy: Yes. I found some wall panels and they told of what really happened to the monsters. I'm beginning to understand why you all are wanting to leave. I want to bring this truth out to people on the surface.
Tether: What if they don't believe you?
Percy: Then I'll find a way to make them believe it! That's a promise!
With that declaration, Percy made his goal: he will escape the Underground and bring the true story of the monsters to light. Percy decided to explore more of Waterfall and had discovered more stone plaques, found a cracked statue, dug around in the trash area (he realized a lot of it came from the surface and figured it was how the monsters got their things), played around with the mushrooms that lit up the ground, and escaped from more monsters. He even discovered a little village with little dog creatures that he found were called Temmies. He had a bit of a field day with that one, but was a little disappointed when trying to get the “rich history” from them. Most of the them were saying strange things or just “Hoi, I'm Temmie!” and the like. At least they were cute, if not for the strange feeling he got from them. Leaving the village happy yet confused, Percy pressed on. At one point, he ran into Tether again and they wandered through a rainy area. They chatted for a while before reaching an area where they can see a distant castle.
Tether: That's where the king lives.
Percy: A king? Really? Is he nice?
Tether: Real nice! Papa works for him as the..uh..the Royal Scientist, yeah!
Percy: So cool! You think he'll let me talk to him?
Tether: If ya can get past the guards, but I'm sure if ya can show 'im yer notes, he'll let ya through!
Percy: I hope so! Hey, maybe I can show you what the surface is like. You wanna come with me?
Tether (lowers his head): I can't..
Percy: Why not?
Tether: Papa says there's a barrier and no monster can leave through it. We're stuck 'ere...
Percy: Oh... I hope there's a way to get rid of it so you all can come out.
Tether (looks at Percy happily): Actually, Papa's workin' on somethin' like that! I don't know what or how, but I know he is!
Percy: Awesome! Can't wait to see it working!
Tether: Me too!
As this went on, in the laboratory, Aden was taking a break from studying the human Souls when he was hearing about a new human roaming around. He also heard some disturbing rumors about a monster helping the human.
Gadwyn: What utter nonsense. Who in their right mind would ever help a human? (looks at the clock) I suppose I should check on my boys, see if they're doing all right. Especially Catena, I worry that the Royal Guard might be a bit too much for him. Tether should have been back by now, unless the guard needed him for something, too.
Figuring his colleagues can carry on the tests without him should he fail to show up on time, Gadwyn left to go to Snowdin to check on Catena and Tether. He found Catena and Darius heading towards the station outside the Ruins with supplies. When he got close, he noticed Darius acting strange upon spotting him and Tether nowhere to be seen.
Gadwyn: Hello, Darius, Catena.
Catena: Hi, Daddy!
Darius (nervous): H-Hi, Dr. Gadwyn...
Gadwyn: Is something the matter?
Darius: No, sir! Everything's good..
Gadwyn: Right... (turns to Catena) Are you doing all right?
Catena: Yep, we're takin' supplies to the Ruin post!
Gadwyn: Is that right? Have you seen your brother? He was supposed to be back to the lab by now.
Catena: I dunno. I was with Mr. Darius. We were s'possed to meet him here when we came back.
Gadwyn: And he wasn't here...?
Darius: He was. I told him to wait, but maybe another guard called for him while we were gone?
Gadwyn: Hmm, I suppose if that's the case, I'll ask the sisters.
Darius: Okay..
Catena: Bye, Daddy!
Gadwyn: See you soon. (walks away) Something's off...
While Gadwyn searched for Tether, Percy was having problems of his own. When he found a series of panels describing how a monster's soul disappears after death, except for a Boss Monster Soul, and how a human can absorb that soul, Percy was startled by an echoing voice.
???: And another....
Percy: Ah!
???: Another Soul brought to us.... Yours is the fourth we need....
Percy: Wh-What?! (turns around to see the equine Royal Guard behind him) AAAHH!!
Keldin: You will not escape from me this time, human.
Percy: W-Wait! The fourth? What's that mean?!
Keldin (aims his spear at Percy): Three human Souls we have so far, you will give us yours.
Percy had heard of this. Three kids had disappeared into the mountain over the past several decades, never to be heard from again. And now, he was about to become the fourth child to disappear in the Monster World. He did not want that. He had a promise to keep. As he saw the monster prepare to pierce him with his spear, Percy felt something rise within him and he screamed.
Percy (eyes glowing purple): STOOOOOP!!
Keldin (freezes): Agh?! What...I can't move!
Percy: Huh..?
Keldin (struggling): What...did you do to me...you....damned...ergh!
Percy: I...It works on him, too? All right! All right, put away your spear!
Keldin (feels his body move and watches his spear vanish): H-How...you...!
Percy: Turn around.
Keldin (struggling but turns around): How are you doing this?!
Percy: Um...Go back to Snowdin!
Keldin (feels his body moving): What?! No...stop!
Percy: Faster!
Keldin (running): Gaaaah!!
Percy (watches him disappear further away): …..That was close... I better get out of here quick... But at least it still works!
With a newfound confidence, Percy kept going. He felt he was close to leaving when he found more panels. When he read them, he was becoming more fearful. The monsters had surrendered to the humans and were sealed underground by seven powerful magicians with a magic spell. That barrier Tether told him about kept them all here. The only way anyone can leave is with a powerful enough Soul and if seven of them comes together before the barrier, it will break.
Percy: ...No human could come here? ....Is this why the monsters were chasing me? ...Those kids disappeared...? Are they trapped here? This is.....What's going on..? No entrances or exits...but I came in through the ruins....Am I trapped here, too?
His confidence now turning into confusion, Percy wandered. He managed to write down the words, but the sentences were becoming even more unnerving. He trudged past the field of Echo flowers and spotted a single panel.
Percy: “But there is a prophecy.” A prophecy...? “The Angel...The One Who Has Seen The Surface....They will return. And the underground will go empty.” The Angel....am I...? (shakes his head) No...I don't think I am. I hope that empty part means everyone will escape here... Seven Souls...If I find the kids..err, maybe they're adults by now? Then maybe we can help the monsters go free!
Percy rushed across the bridge towards an opening and he can see a glowing red light up ahead. Once he passed through the path, he can feel the heat increasing as he entered a new area. He was shocked to see lava under the bridge ahead of him, but was also spotted by a guard manning the station by it.
Guard: A-A human! A human is here!
Percy: Uh oh! Uh, stop!
Guard (freezes): Guh, what?!
Percy: Run to Waterfall!
Guard (runs away): Huaa!
Percy: Gotta keep going!
Percy took off running across the bridge, spotting a large white building ahead. He had stopped but he felt something bad about the place and went north. He found an elevator and used to escape the now pursuing monsters. Once inside, he pressed the L3 button without questioning why it was labeled “Left Floor 3”, he didn't really care. He just had to get away. From a moment's peace to being determined to escape, Percy ran the moment the doors opened. He found himself running past an area where he spotted some cobwebs and into a large area where there are many arrow panels on several rocky platforms.
Percy: How do I get through here...? (steps on a panel, gets launched) WAAAAH!!! (lands on his side) Ooww... I guess...that's how...
Percy had to do this several times while noticing the monster guards standing nearby, watching him struggling with the puzzle. They commented on how he'll never get past the puzzle and that he might as well give up and surrender. Upon hearing this, Percy decided to prove them wrong. Once he calmed himself, he studied the areas and the arrows, planning out the course and adjusting as he went. To the amazement and horror of the monster guards, Percy made it through. He kept going as the cobwebs increased in number, until he reached a dark area where he noticed his movements were slowing down.
Percy: Ugh, why am I moving so slow...? (looks down, sees the floor covered in white threads) What is this stuff? (tries to lift his foot but it barely moves) I'm stuck? (hears sounds of skittering) What was that...?
(giggling is heard)
Percy: Laughing? From where...? (looks down again to see spiders crawling around) Gah! Spiders! No! (tries to kick them away) Go away!
???: There's no use struggling, dearie! You might as well relax while you're here~.
Percy: Who..?
Percy watched as a monster descended down on a silken thread. With an arachnid grace and polite poise, she curtsied before Percy.
???: My name is Kæde, the spider queen. I've heard of a human roaming around the Underground, but I never thought I'd get to meet one~.
Percy: Um, hi, I'm Percy, uh, can you let me go?
Kæde: Let you go? Ahuhuhu~! Why should I let you go?
Percy: Because I have to get to the surface! I have something to do!
Kæde: Aww, but why not stay a while and have some cider? You must be famished.
Percy: I am kinda thirsty...but I don't want anything right now, thank you. Just...let me go!
Kæde: Huhuhu... I'm finding it hard to let go of you, human.
Percy: It's not working..?(eyes glow) Let...me...go...
Kæde: Maybe I will. But let's have some fun, shall we? (snaps her fingers)
The area around them went dark, save for Percy's soul, which is of a purple hue. During the battle, Kæde sent spiders, various pastries, even a giant muffin monster tried to eat him. Percy had to study and dodge them all while running and climbing the spider webs that covered the battlefield. He also discovered why his power didn't work on her; her Soul was purple, too, although mostly white. His power may have been canceled out by hers. He was beginning to grow exhausted, but his desire to leave, the desire to accomplish his goal, kept him going. He had to escape, he just had to get his discoveries out there to the world, to tell the monsters' true story. Even as he was getting ensnared by the threads, nothing was going to stop him, nothing at all-
???: I see you've captured the human, Miss Kæde.
Kæde: Oh! Dr. Gadwyn? I wasn't expecting you to be here.
Gadwyn: Yes... (approaches Percy) So...this is the human that was causing trouble.
Percy: A skeleton monster..?
Gadwyn: Hmph, you don't look as tough as I had imagined. I was expecting something worse. Pathetic.
Percy: You're Tether's dad, are you?
Gadwyn (glares): I am.
Percy: I'm Percival. I'm trying to leave the place so I can-
Gadwyn: I do not care who you are or what you want to do. Your life ends here, human.
Percy: Wait! Why will my life end? What did I do wrong?!
Gadwyn: There are many things that you've done wrong. You exist. You tried to escape. You even went so far as to poison my son's mind with your words.
Percy: Poison his mind? I didn't-
Gadwyn: I had a feeling something strange was going on when Tether didn't come back to the laboratory today. I heard rumors of a human being helped by a monster. I thought it was just absurd. But then I talked to the Royal Guards and my other son, Catena. Then it hit me; Tether must be the one helping you. My own son, brainwashed into protecting you.
Percy: I didn't brainwash him! He wanted to be my friend- (gets choked) Aagh!
Gadwyn (choking Percy with one hand): You may have been able to do it with the other monsters, but I will not allow you to trick me with your poisonous words. There is no way a monster can ever become friends with a human. You are all heartless, lying, bloodthirsty betrayers, and I will not allow my sons to become tainted with your disgusting ways.
Percy: Aggh..b..but..I want...agh..to...I want to...tell the..truth...
Gadwyn: The truth? (loosens his grip) Ha! The last human who did that paid with her life after she took one of our own.
Percy: Wh-What..?
Gadwyn: She thought that telling the truth would let us spare her. It didn't work, so we took her Soul as I will do yours.
Percy: But...that means she's...
Gadwyn: Yes, she is dead.
Percy felt the dreadful weight of terror crash onto him. The previous humans who fell in the mountain were now likely dead in his mind. This threw him into a panic as he violently tried to break free of the spider web cocoon.
Percy: NO!! I can't die!! I don't wanna die!!
Gadwyn: Cease your screaming, no one will come to your rescue. I made sure of that.
Percy: Please!! I can't die yet! I promised I would leave to get the truth to the surface!
Gadwyn: You promised? Promised who?
Percy: Tether... I promised him that I.. (notices his notebook on the ground) ..I would take what I found here and tell everyone what really happened. I learned in school that you monsters terrorized humans to where you had to be sealed up in the mountain. But it's not true! It was us who hurt you! The humans must have started the war because they were scared of your power! If you can let me go, I can at least tell your story! Please, at least let me do that!
Gadwyn: Hmm...So he was telling the truth... You would do that much?
Percy: Yes! That's why- (felt the hand tighten around his neck) Guh! Wha-
Gadwyn: I can't say I believe you. You could be lying for all I know. And besides, your Soul is needed for the project, so it would be pointless to listen to your deceitful droning.
Percy: No...Pl-please...I can...help...free...
Gadwyn: Yes, you will. With your Soul. That way, you will never trick my son again.
Percy: Ugh...Te..ther...
Upon hearing his son's name, Gadwyn squeezed the boy's throat hard enough to audibly break his neck bones and cut off his air, choking him to death. Kæde watched this with fear as she hadn't realized how capable Gadwyn is in simply ending another person's life. She made a mental note to not get on his bad side whenever possible. Gadwyn drew out Percy's Soul and demanded the spider girl to release his body so he can take it to the laboratory. He also took the boy's notebook to read through it once he returned. Unbeknownst to him, the whole exchange between Gadwyn and Percy was seen by Tether. Before Gadwyn met Percy, Tether was found heading towards Hotland to meet the boy by his father and was taken back to the lab. They argued, Tether told him about how Percy was not as bad as Gadwyn made humans out to be, and Tether was locked up and guarded so he wouldn't escape. The scientist hadn't counted on his son learning how to teleport like him. Tether only managed to escape through the door, but it was enough for him to rush past the guard by his door and to the elevator. Once on the lobby level, he almost made it to the exit past the monitors when he saw Gadwyn with Percy. He watched as his father broke the boy's neck without hesitation after telling him to not trick his son again. Tether was unsure of what happened afterwards, but he could have sworn that everything went blurry and it all went to black.
Four Souls down, three to go.
TO BE CONTINUED
0 notes
drippeddaily · 7 years ago
Text
Album of the Year #11: Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
Album of the Year #11: Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
Artist: Kendrick Lamar
Album: DAMN.
Listen:
Spotify
Apple Music
Tidal
Google Play Music
Background by /u/King_CornShucker
As the dust settled following one of the most important hip-hop releases in recent years (2015’s To Pimp A Butterfly), all eyes were on Kendrick Lamar. This jazz and funk infused masterwork was both socio politically fierce and introspectively vulnerable, typifying Kendrick’s (familiarly) conflicting nature. The album’s strength spilled into the subsequent year’s untitled, unmastered., an EP of compiled demos originating during the recording sessions of TPAB. Together, these works established what Lamar had been working on perfecting since 2011’s Section.80. and 2012’s good kid, m.A.A.d city: his ability to craft a lyrically impressive body of work dense with storytelling and concepts begging for repeat-listens.
But as Kendrick said in his late-2016 interview with Rick Rubin, “It will always have some type of DNA in my music. But me as a person and just knowing who I am, I grow, I’m like a chameleon.” And nobody knew what to expect, especially after producer Syk Sense called the beats in consideration “some of the hardest shit I’ve heard.” He also described the sounds saying, “It’s not like the jazzy tape you would think, it’s like...fucking Memphis. It’s LA, it’s Memphis.” In an interview with The New York Times, Kendrick prefaced the topics he was exploring by saying, “We’re in a time where we exclude one major component out of this whole thing called life: God.”
But all the guessing was suddenly interrupted by the March release of “The Heart Part 4”, an exciting single concluding with the line, “Y’all got ‘til April the 7th to get y’all shit together”. The day came and Kendrick Lamar’s fourth studio album was available for preorder. It was soon announced to be DAMN., a fourteen-track album featuring Rihanna, Zacari, and U2, as well as a talented line-up of producers such as Mike WiLL Made-It, The Alchemist, and 9th Wonder.
Review by /u/King_CornShucker
The album begins(?) with “BLOOD.”, an eerie introduction where Kendrick tells a story over a mellow instrumental produced by Bēkon and Top Dawg. Bēkon’s bone-chilling vocals kick off the song, offering what seemingly comes to be the album’s thesis,
Is it wickedness? Is it weakness? You decide. Are we gonna live or die?
These lines carry a listener-hooking sense of mystery that leads into the story. To summarize, Kendrick is taking a walk when he encounters a frustrated blind woman who appears to be looking for something. Soon, he decides to help but is then killed by the woman as a result. This macabre climax is abruptly concluded by a gunshot. While “BLOOD.” is basically a bare-bones introductory skit, I believe it shows Kendrick’s ability to craft artistic brilliance beyond just rapping. A clip of FOX News reporters criticizing the lyrical content of Kendrick’s “Alright” epically transitions into “DNA.”, which is literally the hardest song I’ve ever heard. Kendrick begins by proudly listing both the good and bad in his history and heritage that makes him who he is. The entire first verse is an aggressive yet honest analysis of his personality and beliefs (“And I’m gon’ shine like I’m supposed to, antisocial extrovert”), as well as his current accomplishments (“At 29, I’ve done so well, hit cartwheel in my estate”). An intense, bass-heavy beat crafted by Mike WiLL Made-It carries on for the first verse until it halts into the bridge, featuring a clip of Geraldo Rivera condemning hip-hop’s effects on African-Americans. In response to the FOX News comments sampled here and previously on “BLOOD.” regarding “Alright”, Kendrick said this:
How can you take a song that’s about hope and turn it into hatred? The overall message is ‘we’re gonna be alright.’ It’s not the message of ‘I wanna kill people.’
This sample paired with Kendrick’s repeating of the words, “I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA”, bring on an incredibly aggressive and in-your-face beat switch. Kendrick’s second verse is urgent and even angrier than his first. The passionate delivery of these apocalyptic lyrics (“Tell me when destruction gonna be my fate”, “Look up in the sky, 10 is on the way, sentence on the way, killings on the way”) gives the song the feeling of a grand finale, even though it’s basically the first song. The last line of the song is “Sex, money, murder-our DNA”, saying that these sins are in our blood. It is a very intentional moment, as it helps introduce the album's biblical theme of sin, and the punishments we face because of it. Mike WiLL Made-It reportedly created the second part of the instrumental after Kendrick rapped the second verse a capella. He stated:
Just imagine him a cappella rapping the second half of “DNA.” and I had to build a beat around that. I didn’t want the beat to just sound like a regular boom-clap, boom-clap. I wanted that shit to sound just as crazy. I wanted it to sound like he’s battling the beat.
Which he clearly accomplished. Not only one of the album’s highlights, “DNA.” is in my opinion one of the best songs of Kendrick’s discography.
The next song is “YAH.”, and the first thing we hear is the album’s debut appearance of legendary DJ and rapper Kid Capri. His inclusion gives off a classic mixtape vibe, calling to mind older eras of hip-hop.
New shit, new Kung Fu Kenny
Introduced earlier on Mike WiLL’s track, “Perfect Pint”, Kung Fu Kenny is a new nickname mentioned numerous times on DAMN. whose motif is seen in videos for the album as well as other promotion and concerts. It is inspired by Don Cheadle’s character from the 2001 film, Rush Hour 2. The most noticeable thing on “YAH.” is the sudden and drastic tone change. In contrast to the previous track’s intensity and unwavering confidence, Kendrick sounds forlorn and paranoid. Kendrick is rapping slowly and melodically over strange and smooth production by Sounwave, DJ Dahi, and Top Dawg.
Buzzin’, radars is buzzin’, yah yah, yah yah, yah yah, yah yah, yah yah
This hypnotizing chorus is a bit unclear in meaning, but it seems to be about his awareness. His “radars” are detecting who is untrustworthy, which connects to the paranoid lyrics (“I got so many theories and suspicions”, “My girl told me don’t let these hoes get in my head”). “Yah” may be in reference to Yahweh, the Hebrew name of God used in the bible. In verse two he raps about struggling with temptation even though he believes God is real and curses those who are unfaithful. The repetition in the chorus could be a calling out to God for help or forgiveness. <My cousin called, my cousin Carl Duckworth said know my worth, and Deuteronomy say that we all been cursed
This is the first we hear about Deuteronomy, a book of the Bible commonly referred to by Hebrew Israelites, people of colour who believe the Israelites are their historic ancestors. Kendrick’s cousin subscribes to this belief, and we later hear him on “FEAR.” educating Kendrick on the Book of Deuteronomy, detailing the curses that await the disobedient. This is a recurring and apparent theme of DAMN, from the album and song titles to the lyrical content.
Next up is “ELEMENT.”, which reverts back to a style more reminiscent of “DNA.”.
New Kung Fu Kenny! Ain’t nobody prayin’ for me! Y’all know what happens on Earth stays on Earth!
Kid Capri kicks off another track, with some strange lines that are very recognizable at this point. He had this to say when asked about them:
To tell the truth, I never asked Kendrick the meaning of it. I said what I said and I never asked him the meaning. He told me to say that part.
I think it’s meaning is simple, saying you can’t bring anything with you when you leave Earth, whether it’s materials or relationships. When the first line of Kendrick’s verse is, “I’m willin’ to die for this shit”, following multiple repetitions of “I don’t give a fuck”, the sentiment exudes a sense of risk-it-all confidence. While the lyrical content alone on this song isn’t as conceptual as most of the tracklist, it’s still a highlight. Kendrick takes shots at his rivals and boasts his skill, sounding smooth and precise while doing it. At the end of his final verse are these lines:
Last LP I tried to lift the black artists, but it’s a difference between black artists and wack artists
His last LP To Pimp A Butterfly focused on self-love and empowering the black community. There is a much different tone on this song, where he puts his competition in their place. When asked about this line, Kendrick had this to say:
A wack artist uses other people’s music for their approval. We’re talking about someone that is scared to make their own voice, chases somebody else’s success and their thing, but runs away from their own thing. That’s what keeps the game watered-down.
James Blake, Sounwave, and Ricci Riera produced this sharp and menacing instrumental that features numerous beat changes. It perfectly pairs with Kendrick’s style throughout the song, similar to how “DNA.” sounded like a back-and-forth between Kendrick and the beat.
Kid Capri and a slowed down version of the chorus take us into the next song, “FEEL.” Another stark contrast from the song before it, this track is Kendrick’s most stripped down and painfully honest since “u”. It’s a dive into the pessimistic emotions Kendrick’s feeling, performed like the mic is his therapist.
Ain’t nobody prayin’ for me
The song starts with a sad line that is heard throughout the album. Even with all of the critical and commercial accolades, Kendrick obviously has feelings of loneliness. He gives the world all his time and energy with his music, but in his position, people are still constantly asking for something. They aren’t even close enough to be real with him, let alone pray for him.
I feel like it ain’t no tomorrow, fuck the world, the world is ending, I’m done pretending, and fuck you if you get offended
If these lyrics are any indication, Kendrick is not lying when he says he has a chip on his shoulder. During both verses on “FEEL.”, Kendrick denounces the world, going so far as to condemn his family and friends. Like “ELEMENT.”’s lyrical content, what you hear is what you get, with not much interpreting needed. But that is only to it’s benefit.
I feel like this gotta be the feeling where Pac was, the feeling of an apocalypse happening but nothing is awkward
Tupac, one of Kendrick’s biggest influences and role models, has shared the same feelings of depression, frustration, and paranoia that are expressed in “FEEL.”. He even had predictions of disaster and bloodshed at the end of Kendrick’s last album, from an interview which Kendrick said had “answers for today’s time and age”. The beat on “FEEL.” was produced by Sounwave, and features bassist Thundercat who appears on “LUST.” as well. Sampling Loopmasters' royalty-free Organic Future Hip Hop sample pack, it is a relatively simple instrumental. However, it captures the mood Kendrick was in lyrically, and is a perfect platform for him to vent over.
“LOYALTY.” is next, a radio-friendly song featuring Rihanna. It is sequenced well in the tracklist, as it is a very light track between two of the most heavy. They rap about loyalty, a quality shown to be very important to Kendrick through his career. Not only does he make sure those he surrounds himself with are trustworthy, he has made himself a good example of the trait. He is still with his fiancee, Whitney Alford, a woman Kendrick’s been dating since high school.
Tell me who you loyal to, is it anybody you would lie for, anybody you would slide for, anybody you would die for? (That’s what God for)
Kendrick said this release would be about God, but also exhibits a sense of being done with religion earlier in the album. We hear him sneak a line nearing the end of “LOYALTY.” that reminds us of Kendrick’s loyalty to God. To quote 2016’s *untitled 01”:
I made *To Pimp A Butterfly for You, told me to use my vocals to save mankind for You, say I didn’t try for You, say I didn’t ride for You
The beat was made by Terrace Martin, Sounwave, DJ Dahi, and Top Dawg. Bruno Mars’s song “24K Magic” is the sample, which DJ Dahi decided to reverse, change key, and add a third harmony to. It feels uplifting while still sounding slightly eerie and fitting in with the recurring “reverse” theme. While “LOYALTY.” is, in my opinion, the least interesting song on DAMN., it still has a lot going for it and definitely does not warrant a skip.
Bēkon kicks off another song, “PRIDE.”, a hypnotically depressing highlight of the album.
Love’s gonna get you killed, but pride’s gonna be the death of you and you and me and you and you and you and me…
Kendrick raps in this song and throughout the album about his difficulties with putting trust and love in people. But as he’s said in the past:
When are we gon’ understand we are put on earth to love?
He believes in the importance of love, but recognizes people will take advantage of this and hurt you. This 20-second intro is saying it will harm you in the flesh to extend love, but the original sin of pride could lead to damnation and the death of the spirit. Another chillingly honest track, Kendrick goes through his and the world’s imperfections, as well as the pride that’s making Kendrick bitter and numb towards people. His vocals change pitch throughout the first verse, perhaps to capture the out-of-body numbness he’s describing. The chorus of “PRIDE.” appears to be an admittance of his lack of love and empathy for others. He is cold the to the world because of his ego. As he raps about in the second verse, pride isn’t allowing him to own up to his own mistakes, so he blames others. The idea of “a perfect world” is hypothesized, and at the end of the song, Kendrick raps:
See, in a perfect world I’ll choose faith over riches, I’ll choose work over bitches, I’ll make schools out of prison, I’ll take all the religions and put ‘em all in one service, just to tell ‘em we ain’t shit, but He’s been perfect, world”
A perfect world would be completely fabricated because people will always sin. Kendrick puts God as the focal point once again, saying He is only thing people should strive for, as God is free of sin. Steve Lacy of The Internet produced the beat for “PRIDE.” on his iPhone using GarageBand. Another example of questionable production choices that lead to a sound working perfectly for Kendrick’s performance and subject matter.
“HUMBLE.”, the lead single of DAMN., is the complete antithesis of the last song. The slow, cold sound of PRIDE is opposed by the loud, quick flow of HUMBLE, with the music video even including imagery of fire. The title of the track is an interesting choice, because the lyrical content of the verses is very braggadocious and prideful. When asked by Rolling Stone if the chorus of the song (which repeats the command, “be humble”) was directed at himself, Kendrick responded:
Definitely. That’s why I did a song like that, where I just don’t give a fuck, or I’m telling the listener, “You can’t fuck with me.” But ultimately, I’m looking in the mirror.
Even with a party-friendly banger like this one, Kendrick pays attention to detail. Thematically “HUMBLE.”’s lyrics fit in with the other tracks, but in terms of tone, are a wild and boastful deviation from the majority of DAMN.’s eeriness and pessimism. The instrumental, originally meant for Gucci Mane, was produced by Mike WiLL Made-It. It features a driving, menacing piano and trap drums. After recording the song, it was agreed that it would be released on Mike WiLL’s album, Ransom 2, but Kendrick was convinced by others to keep it. It’s a good thing they did, because “HUMBLE.” is still a memorable and recognizable moment on the album.
“LUST.”, the second song named after a deadly sin, comes next. It is an examination of of lust, and critique of those living for themselves and falling into a cycle of sin.
I need some water, something came over me, way too hot to simmer down, might as well overheat
The first line in the song shows the lustful feelings (or thirst) Kendrick has. But it also introduces the spiritual side of the song. Reminiscent of “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst” from good kid, m.A.A.d city, Kendrick is using the need for water to symbolize man’s need for God. Verse 1 documents the daily routines of a man and woman and their vices. Kendrick’s delivery intentionally makes the events sound uninteresting and repetitive, in a “Groundhog Day”-esque cycle of trivial living. The second verse delves into an unexpected point of view. He criticizes those who were initially outraged about Trump’s inauguration for eventually accepting it and being silent. The bridge immediately after connects this to the theme of lust.
Lately, in James 4:4 says “Friend of the world is enemy of the Lord”
Kendrick quotes a bible verse to illustrate that accepting worldly ways and seeking worldly things is to reject God. The incredible instrumental was made by Toronto jazz and hip-hop trio BADBADNOTGOOD, Sounwave, and DJ Dahi. It’s smooth yet intense, and features a reverse drum sound similar to “Vibrate” by Andre 3000, a song with very similar subject matter.
“LOVE.” comes next, and is another contrast to the track before it. It is a relaxing and easygoing jam that is welcomed after the steamy and urgent nature of “LUST.” It features Zacari, a newcomer who was on both Ab-Soul’s and Isaiah Rashad’s latest albums. His vocals compliment the beat, making for one of the most enjoyable choruses or hooks on the album. The lyrical content is relatively simple, much like the other singer-assisted song on the album. It is Kendrick rapping melodically, most likely about his fiancee. The main producer was Teddy Walton with additional production credits to Greg Kurstin, Sounwave, and Top Dawg. Easy to digest and vibe to, “LOVE.” is a much-needed rest from the heavy substance in the tracks surrounding it.
After this comes “XXX.”, which features Irish rock legends U2 and production from DJ Dahi, Sounwave, Mike WiLL Made-It, and Top Dawg. One of the most captivating moments on DAMN., it is a three-parted rollercoaster of a song. Kendrick had this to say in an interview with Zane Lowe regarding the song.
It’s an idea of complete chaos and madness. Organized madness and controlled madness; us trying to control this madness.
It begins with Bēkon introducing one of the song’s topics: America. Then, Kendrick offers two analogies.
Throw a steak off the ark to a pool full of sharks, he’ll take it. Leave him in the wilderness with a sworn nemesis, he’ll make it.
Both are images of hunger and temptation, with the second line referencing the story in the Book of Matthew where Jesus, who had been fasting for forty days, is tempted by the devil. It is interesting to think what this imagery metaphorizes in the context of the song’s message of America’s controlled chaos and corruption. Kendrick then uses “Johnny” to personify youth in America that fall into temptation and end up in violence. This point of the song might be the most experimental on the whole album, with the beat cutting out in moments and old school hip-hop sound effects. The beat then explodes into the second part, which features sirens and heavy breathing to help visualize the rage and chaos present in Kendrick’s verse. It’s about a man whose only son was killed and calls Kendrick in drunken desperation for advice and closure. Kendrick, even though his “spirit do know better”, tells him that he would seek revenge. After the phone call, Kendrick attends a convention to talk about gun control. It is an admittance of hypocrisy, reminiscent of 2015’s “The Blacker the Berry”. In my opinion, the storytelling on this verse is more vivid and powerful than any Kendrick’s ever done. The last part of the song is relaxing and takes a broader view of the topic with an analysis of America. The beat has live sounding instruments and sounds of birds in the distance. Bono sings a bit of an esoteric chorus that concludes the track. This song is absolutely a highlight and one of Kendrick’s bests.
Speaking of highlights, “FEAR.” comes next. It begins and ends with the phone call Kendrick referred to in “YAH.”. His cousin Carl Duckworth speaks to him of his and other Hebrew Israelites beliefs, stemming from Deuteronomy 28. People of this belief commonly use this passage to explain why minorities like Africans, Latinos, and Native Americans have dealt with such hardships like slavery, poverty and disease. The inclusion of this is interesting as Kendrick doesn’t explicitly say he subscribes to this belief. I think the general message of God cursing us for our lack of faith is one Kendrick believes in, which is why it is such a central theme on the album. The concept of the song is simple, but the execution is incredible. Each of three verses has Kendrick taking the perspective of himself dealing with fear at ages of 7, 17, and then 27. At the age of 7, Kendrick felt fear from his mother’s severe threatenings. At 17, his fear was death, as the verse follows Kendrick going over hypothetical scenarios where he dies. Finally, at 27 (which happens to be the year he released To Pimp A Butterfly) his biggest fears were losing his wealth, being judged, and being forgotten. Verse 4 very neatly wraps everything up, and could have easily been the last verse on the album. He alludes to many of the song titles on the album, and summarizes his emotions as of late. The instrumental crafted by The Alchemist is, ironically; considering the song’s name, the most chill on the album. A faster version of it was momentarily present on “The Heart Part 4”. The bassline and background vocals brilliantly compliment the emotions in Kendrick’s storytelling, making for one of the best tracks on the album.
“GOD.”, which is in my opinion the strangest and most unexpected song on the album, comes next. It features a pretty simple beat by Ricc Riera, Sounwave, DJ Dahi, Cardo, Bēkon, and Top Dawg. On surface level, the song is basically a reminiscent, confident Kendrick going through his accomplishments. It has a spiritual tone of self-love and being above worldly things. But it’s eerie undertone mixed with the repeated line, “This what God feel like!” gives off a story of Lucifer vibe, which would connect to the theme of sin and pride found throughout the album. Regardless, “GOD.” is a very interesting song and one that has grown on me especially.
Concluding the album at track 14 is “DUCKWORTH.”, which is the last name of Kendrick Lamar. Originally titled, “Life is Like a Box of Chicken”, it plays as a sort of climax to the album. It’s top notch storytelling over soulful, ever-switching production of 9th Wonder. It begins with Bēkon just like “BLOOD.” did, which could play into the famous (or infamous) “reverse theory”. This theory suggesting the album has a different story (or “feel” as Kendrick said) when the tracklist is reversed lead to the recent release of *DAMN. COLLECTOR’S EDITION.”, which features, well, a reversed tracklist. The sample, Ted Taylor’s “Be Ever Wonderful”, takes us into the first verse. To summarize the story, Anthony, AKA Top Dawg, planned to rob a KFC. “Ducky”, who is Kendrick’s father, worked at this KFC and decided to give Anthony free chicken and extra biscuits. This decision caused Anthony to let him slide, which leads Kendrick hypothesize what could have been. This generosity caused a butterfly effect where Kendrick, Anthony, and Ducky “meet inside recording studios where they reaping their benefits”. It is a powerful, true story which beautifully encapsulates the message of the album. Kendrick’s hypothetical storyline where Ducky is too weak to be generous and Anthony kills Ducky out of wickedness leads to all of their demises. A gunshot is played which is followed by the sound of the album being reversed to the first track. It gives the album a cyclical nature, similar to that of “good kid, m.A.A.d city”.
To conclude, DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar is an extremely dense work of art, which justifies it being possibly my most listened to album ever (wow that sounds weird). Many people seem to consider it to be a poppy downgrade from To Pimp A Butterfly but I couldn't disagree more. While I might prefer TPAB musically, I would argue that there is just as much, if not more artistic depth to DAMN.. It is a ghostly, brooding, intense, honest, and artful installation to what is, in my opinion, one of the best discography runs in hip-hop. This is definitely one of the best albums of the year, and possibly the decade.
Favorite Lyrics by /u/King_CornShucker
I was born like this, since One like this immaculate conception
I transform like this, perform like this, was Yeshua’s new weapon
I don’t contemplate, I meditate, then off your fucking head
This that put-the-kids-to-bed, this that I got, I got, I got, I got-
“DNA.”
Now, in a perfect world, I probably won’t be insensitive
Cold as December but never remember what winter did
I wouldn’t blame you for mistakes I made or the bed I laid
Seems like I point a finger just to make a point nowadays
“PRIDE.”
Fear, whatever happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can’t take these feeling with me so hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Searching for resolutions until somebody get back
“FEAR.”
Life is one funny mothafucka, a true comedian
You gotta love him, you gotta trust him
I might be buggin’, infomercials and no sleep
Introverted by my thoughts, children, listen, it gets deep
“DUCKWORTH.”
Talking Points
What hidden themes/meanings did you catch in DAMN. that could’ve been intentional?
What do you think the encounter with the blind woman in “BLOOD.” represents?
What do you think about the “reverse theory” that Kendrick co-signed?
Do you think Kendrick sacrificed quality to make the album approachable to the mainstream?
Did DAMN. live up to the standards set by To Pimp A Butterfly?
Favourite and least favourite songs, lyrics, and beats on the album?
What direction do you think/hope Kendrick will take with his next album?
Artist: Kendrick LamarAlbum: DAMN.Listen:SpotifyApple MusicTidalGoogle Play MusicBackground by /u/King_CornShuckerAs the dust settled following one of the most important hip-hop releases in recent years (2015’s To Pimp A Butterfly), all eyes were on Kendrick Lamar. This jazz and funk infused masterwork was both socio politically fierce and introspectively vulnerable, typifying Kendrick’s (familiarly) conflicting nature. The album’s strength spilled into the subsequent year’s untitled, unmastered., an EP of compiled demos originating during the recording sessions of TPAB. Together, these works established what Lamar had been working on perfecting since 2011’s Section.80. and 2012’s good kid, m.A.A.d city: his ability to craft a lyrically impressive body of work dense with storytelling and concepts begging for repeat-listens.But as Kendrick said in his late-2016 interview with Rick Rubin, “It will always have some type of DNA in my music. But me as a person and just knowing who I am, I grow, I’m like a chameleon.” And nobody knew what to expect, especially after producer Syk Sense called the beats in consideration “some of the hardest shit I’ve heard.” He also described the sounds saying, “It’s not like the jazzy tape you would think, it’s like...fucking Memphis. It’s LA, it’s Memphis.” In an interview with The New York Times, Kendrick prefaced the topics he was exploring by saying, “We’re in a time where we exclude one major component out of this whole thing called life: God.”But all the guessing was suddenly interrupted by the March release of “The Heart Part 4”, an exciting single concluding with the line, “Y’all got ‘til April the 7th to get y’all shit together”. The day came and Kendrick Lamar’s fourth studio album was available for preorder. It was soon announced to be DAMN., a fourteen-track album featuring Rihanna, Zacari, and U2, as well as a talented line-up of producers such as Mike WiLL Made-It, The Alchemist, and 9th Wonder.Review by /u/King_CornShuckerThe album begins(?) with “BLOOD.”, an eerie introduction where Kendrick tells a story over a mellow instrumental produced by Bēkon and Top Dawg. Bēkon’s bone-chilling vocals kick off the song, offering what seemingly comes to be the album’s thesis,Is it wickedness? Is it weakness? You decide. Are we gonna live or die?These lines carry a listener-hooking sense of mystery that leads into the story. To summarize, Kendrick is taking a walk when he encounters a frustrated blind woman who appears to be looking for something. Soon, he decides to help but is then killed by the woman as a result. This macabre climax is abruptly concluded by a gunshot. While “BLOOD.” is basically a bare-bones introductory skit, I believe it shows Kendrick’s ability to craft artistic brilliance beyond just rapping. A clip of FOX News reporters criticizing the lyrical content of Kendrick’s “Alright” epically transitions into “DNA.”, which is literally the hardest song I’ve ever heard. Kendrick begins by proudly listing both the good and bad in his history and heritage that makes him who he is. The entire first verse is an aggressive yet honest analysis of his personality and beliefs (“And I’m gon’ shine like I’m supposed to, antisocial extrovert”), as well as his current accomplishments (“At 29, I’ve done so well, hit cartwheel in my estate”). An intense, bass-heavy beat crafted by Mike WiLL Made-It carries on for the first verse until it halts into the bridge, featuring a clip of Geraldo Rivera condemning hip-hop’s effects on African-Americans. In response to the FOX News comments sampled here and previously on “BLOOD.” regarding “Alright”, Kendrick said this:How can you take a song that’s about hope and turn it into hatred? The overall message is ‘we’re gonna be alright.’ It’s not the message of ‘I wanna kill people.’This sample paired with Kendrick’s repeating of the words, “I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA”, bring on an incredibly aggressive and in-your-face beat switch. Kendrick’s second verse is urgent and even angrier than his first. The passionate delivery of these apocalyptic lyrics (“Tell me when destruction gonna be my fate”, “Look up in the sky, 10 is on the way, sentence on the way, killings on the way”) gives the song the feeling of a grand finale, even though it’s basically the first song. The last line of the song is “Sex, money, murder-our DNA”, saying that these sins are in our blood. It is a very intentional moment, as it helps introduce the album's biblical theme of sin, and the punishments we face because of it. Mike WiLL Made-It reportedly created the second part of the instrumental after Kendrick rapped the second verse a capella. He stated:Just imagine him a cappella rapping the second half of “DNA.” and I had to build a beat around that. I didn’t want the beat to just sound like a regular boom-clap, boom-clap. I wanted that shit to sound just as crazy. I wanted it to sound like he’s battling the beat.Which he clearly accomplished. Not only one of the album’s highlights, “DNA.” is in my opinion one of the best songs of Kendrick’s discography.The next song is “YAH.”, and the first thing we hear is the album’s debut appearance of legendary DJ and rapper Kid Capri. His inclusion gives off a classic mixtape vibe, calling to mind older eras of hip-hop.New shit, new Kung Fu KennyIntroduced earlier on Mike WiLL’s track, “Perfect Pint”, Kung Fu Kenny is a new nickname mentioned numerous times on DAMN. whose motif is seen in videos for the album as well as other promotion and concerts. It is inspired by Don Cheadle’s character from the 2001 film, Rush Hour 2. The most noticeable thing on “YAH.” is the sudden and drastic tone change. In contrast to the previous track’s intensity and unwavering confidence, Kendrick sounds forlorn and paranoid. Kendrick is rapping slowly and melodically over strange and smooth production by Sounwave, DJ Dahi, and Top Dawg.Buzzin’, radars is buzzin’, yah yah, yah yah, yah yah, yah yah, yah yahThis hypnotizing chorus is a bit unclear in meaning, but it seems to be about his awareness. His “radars” are detecting who is untrustworthy, which connects to the paranoid lyrics (“I got so many theories and suspicions”, “My girl told me don’t let these hoes get in my head”). “Yah” may be in reference to Yahweh, the Hebrew name of God used in the bible. In verse two he raps about struggling with temptation even though he believes God is real and curses those who are unfaithful. The repetition in the chorus could be a calling out to God for help or forgiveness.
0 notes
zibizuba · 6 years ago
Text
100+ Best Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates
Today we present: Best Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates. You can chose your best one and also update your facebook status to funny.
List with Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates!!
I know the world isn’t going to end in 2015 cuz my yogurt expires in 2016!
I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
Hello, everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “
Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Most Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
sometimes, not remembering may be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a Rubiks cube… This could take a while.
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe I’m moving in circles.
Read also Unbearably Funny Bear Puns
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Dear Santa, let me explain…
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty-second lover.
My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Statistically, 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
More Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
I’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
Cut here —————–✄———————-
Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Best Friends Listen to what you don’t say.
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret.
More funny articles on Homepage
I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
what has two ears and can’t hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
I’m not a racer….But I can fly.
press the star below and watch it glow 
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
I think my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course, I like my own comments. I’m awesome.
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Tumblr media
pense lol funny facebook status
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were giving me a dirty look…I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
too cool for school.
trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
definitely not watching what not to wear.
forcing my dog to learn how to google.
kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
X is Loading ████████████ 99%
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to Life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish can’t Drown.
X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
a day late and a dollar short.
Insert coin to view my status message.
If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
We have so much in common. You want to travel, I want you to go.
happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
> $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
20/20 hearing!
Short funny joke
Boy: So, sex at my place? Girl: Yah! Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder. Girl: OK? ~Later~ …Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE! Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!
why do we need school??? music~we have YouTube for that. Spanish ~I watch Dora. English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol). geography~i will buy a globe. history~they are all dead anyway. math~that is why we have the calculator. spelling~we have spell check on the computer.
People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?
NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”
“how do you spell gay?” “g.a.y?” “noooo! j.u.s.t.i.n b.i.e.b.e.r!” (;
what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD
Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.
Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.
We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich ! 
Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me.. Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist? Me: Eminem Mom: The candy? Me: no the rapper Mom: What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?
status: I can’t log into facebook 
A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser
*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNANT* Doctor: your pregnant Blond: *smiles*  Doctor: your having twins Blond: *crys* Doctor: is’ant that good? Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!
Did you know in Japan girls keep their phones on vibrate and put them down their crotch? Don’t feel bad if they don’t answer. It means they’re busy  All i want to know is, where can i get a number? 
Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!
My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”
Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling
Guy: Did It Hurt? Chick: Did What Hurt? Guy: When you fell from… Chick: Heaven Awww :’) Guy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down!! Chick: ………. Guy: Hahaha BITCH!!
Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.
honk if you love Jesus Textwhile driving if you want to meet him.
Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.
How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….
I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me.
I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”
A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..Doesn’t bother me, he responds..actually once u get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new.
I wonder what will happen if Steve Jobs dies…. His tombstone may read – iDead…
Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.
A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!
Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!
One day a chicken crossed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!
Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!
I’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not sluts & bitches !
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself.
Check also Tree Puns Funny Memes, Birch Please
Artykuł 100+ Best Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates pochodzi z serwisu PENSE LOL.
source https://pense.lol/100-best-hilarious-funny-facebook-status-updates/
0 notes