#y9u will never kn9w what 9ne I am :)

[pesterloglog]

Kankri Vantas, Latula Pyrope

Act 6, page 5263

KANKRI: 9h, hey, Latula. I th9ught I heard y9ur device grinding 9n vari9us surfaces near6y.

KANKRI: H9w are y9ur athletic t9y stunts g9ing? Are y9u getting a l9t 9f... a l9t 9f "air"? Am I saying that right?

#Did y9u hang... #Hang 10? #N9 that can't 6e right...

LATULA: you knowz 1t bro!!!

LATULA: you c4nt 3v3n TOUCH th1s. 1m 3sc4p1ng to th3 s1d3, from 4bov3, from 3v3ry wh1ch w4y b4s1c4lly!!!!

KANKRI: Well, I wasn't g9ing t9 attempt t9 make any s9rt 9f physical c9ntact with y9u, and even if I did, I have n9 d9u6t that y9u w9uld 6e a6le t9 maneuver away fr9m my grasp 9n y9ur speedy little platf9rm. Either way, I'm m9re than c9ntent t9 let y9u escape in any directi9n 9f y9ur ch99sing, if that's y9ur wish.

LATULA: dud3. just wh3n 1 th1nk youv3 4lr34dy s41d th3 squ4r3st th1ng poss1bl3, you go 4nd s4y som3th1ng l1k3 th4t.

KANKRI: Haha. I guess. Y9u kn9w, it's really nice we can talk like this.

LATULA: 1t 1s...

#?

KANKRI: Yes. I was just thinking lately, a69ut 9ur new p9st-scratch friends. Particularly the y9ung Vantas and Pyr9pe iterati9ns 9n their team, and h9w they're pretty similar t9 us, 6ut als9 really different.

LATULA: y34h. l1l m3 1s bl1nd! d1d u 3v3n KNOW th4t??

#h4v3 u s33n h3r l1l dr4gon su1t?? 3333! #SO cut3 >8]

KANKRI: Yes, 6ut that's n9t really what I'm talking a69ut.

KANKRI: She and Karkat have a different relati9nship fr9m the 9ne we have. Theirs is much m9re tur6ulent, which is fueled presuma6ly 6y r9mantic tensi9n. I'm picking up 9n s9me maj9r vascillati9n vi6es fr9m their situati9n. It's kind 9f unf9rtunate, 6ut it makes me grateful that we never g9t t9 that p9int.

LATULA: h3llz y34h. who n33ds th4t?

KANKRI: I'm sure it's m9stly due t9 the fact that we've stayed entirely away fr9m the sting6ug's nest 9f r9mantic entanglement. Which 9f c9urse is related t9 my 9ath 9f celi6acy, which as y9u kn9w is just a pers9nal ch9ice, 9ne which f9r s9me reas9n my p9st-scratch adult self eventually strayed fr9m... with... Meulin, 9f all pe9ple? 6ut that's neither here n9r there.

#Seri9usly. #I mean, she's nice, 6ut... #Really?

LATULA: h4h4h4h4... you 4nd m3uz. st1ll cr4cks m3 up... H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!!

#:3 #h3h3h3h

KANKRI: Yes. 6ut regardless. What I'm saying is, it's great we stayed away fr9m that. It's helped me appreciate y9u as a friend, and admire all y9ur g99d qualities. Plat9nically, 9f c9urse.

LATULA: your3 r1ght! 1ts b33n pr3tty r4d wh3n you put 1t th4t w4y.

KANKRI: Like h9w y9u never 69ught int9 the usual r9les 9f y9ur caste, as an aqua, n9t even the m9re "well intended" s9cial c9nventi9ns 9f y9ur privileged arist9cratic 6l99dline. Y9u never l99ked d9wn 9n any69dy, 9r saw it as y9ur civil duty t9 care f9r 9r "impr9ve" the warmer classes, falling prey t9 unf9rtunate tendencies inv9lving cerulean savi9r c9mplex, 9r the "6lue 6l99d's 6urden" (trigger warning 9n that, 96vi9usly) which sadly 6ecame s9 insepera6le fr9m the fa6ric 9f the spectral 9rder, with each class c9nditi9ned t9 view th9se 6el9w it the same way, the 96stacles t9 raising awareness were alm9st insurm9unta6le. 6ut unlike the c99ler hues 9n 9ur team m9re priviliged than y9u, like y9ur Serkets, y9ur Zahhaks, y9ur Amp9ras... I never g9t the sense that y9u put the slightest 6it 9f st9ck in any 9f that, and I think that's pretty amazing.

#Cerulean savi9rs #Teal templars #Vi9let valiants #Purple paladins

LATULA: uh... y34h! th4t sh1tz 4 dr4g, why would 1 both3r w1th 4ny of th4t? 1 m34n, 1ll h3lp low bloods l34rn stunts 4nd ch34t cod3z 1f th3y w4nt, but th4ts 1t!!!

KANKRI: Right. And I'm just saying if my head was ever cl9uded 6y r9mantic feelings f9r y9u, I pr96a6ly w9uldn't 6e a6le t9 appreciate that a69ut y9u.

KANKRI: Just like I w9uldn't 6e a6le t9 appreciate the fairly c99l "zees" y9u put at the end 9f many w9rds, 9r say things l9udly and with enthusiasm, even if it's n9t particularly warranted.

#It rarely is

LATULA: h3h3h. y34h!!!!

#woo!

KANKRI: 9r the way y9ur hair fl9ws in the wind when y9u sc99t 9ver s9me s9rt 9f 96stactle 9n y9ur device really fast.

KANKRI: 9r the way y9u make this funny little n9ise just as y9u c9nnect with 9ne 9f y9ur c9pi9us high fives, which can 9nly 6e heard 9ver the l9ud slap if y9u listen really cl9sely.

LATULA: um, y34h... 1 not1c3d... som3 stuff l1k3 th4t...

LATULA: 4bout you too 1 gu3ss?

LATULA: h3h.

#uh...

KANKRI: 9r the way y9u have always sh9wn kindness t9 pe9ple wh9 needed help, with9ut making them feel tragic 9r helpless f9r accepting it.

KANKRI: 9r the way y9u still manage t9 l99k stylish even with9ut y9ur c99l shades, 9r s9metimes when they're pr9pped up 9n y9ur head just in fr9nt 9f y9ur h9rns.

LATULA: wh...

#1... #hm

KANKRI: 9r, I d9n't kn9w if y9u remem6er, that time Meenah 6aked every69dy a cake. It was the first sweep anniversary 9f entering the game, 9ne 9f the rare m9ments 9f s9lidarity and g99d cheer am9ng 9ur entire team at 9nce. Every9ne was raving a69ut h9w g99d the fresh 6aked cake smelled, s9 y9u t99k a 6ig sniff, I guess f9rgetting f9r a m9ment y9u c9uldn't smell. Then y9u quickly caught y9urself, and played it c99l making sure n9 9ne n9ticed, which n9 9ne did. 6ut I n9ticed. And I just th9ught that was kind 9f endearing.

LATULA:

KANKRI: Anyway, I think all that w9uld have 6een c9mpletely l9st 9n me if we didn't have this str9ng plat9nic 69nd. I just th9ught I'd say that. Guess I'll get g9ing n9w.

KANKRI: See y9u ar9und, Latula.

LATULA:

[kankrivantas69420lmao]

F9ur, three, tw9, 9ne

Listen up y'all as this is it,

The w9rds that I'm speaking are factitius

Kankrilici9us definiti9n gifting trigger warnings

Yu never kn9w when y9u might g9 9ffend me with9ut kn9wing

Yu can see me, please d9n't squeeze me

I'm n9t easy n9r I sleazy I have reas9ns why I leave them I've a v9w that I am keeping

Kankrilici9us (s9 factiti9us)

1 am slightly 19quaci9us

And if y9u were suspicius

I am n9t repetiti9us

619w my whistle (*whistle n9ise*)

That puts the tr9lls 9n high alert

Then they'll 6e lining d9wn the 6l9ck just t9 hear what I've g9t (fur, three, tw9, 9ne)

S9 factitius (it's h9t, h9t)

S9 factiti9us (I'll put the tr9lls 9n high alert)

S9 factiti9us (They want a slice 9f what I've g9t)

I'm Kankrilici9us (I-I-I-I-I- w9rdy, w9rdy)

Kankrilici9us def-

Kankrilici9us def-

Excuse me 6ut I'd appreciate it if y9u'd just let me fin-! [fin ech9]

Kankrilici9us definiti9n make my peers g9 crazy

They always claim they like me

Yet keep trying t9 escape me (6itch please)

1am K t9 the A, N, K, the R the I And there's n9t an9ther s9ul wh9 can c9mpete against my-

I'm Kankrilici9us (s9 factiti9us)

Can't help I'm a genius

D9n't mean t9 9ffend 6ut my v9ca6 is stupendOus

Straight A's in English (9h, wee)

I'll put y9ur mind 9n high alert

It takes a 19t 9f c9mprehensign t9 understand what I'm saying (f9ur, three, tw9, 9ne)

S9 factitius (it's h9t, h9t)

S9 factiti9us (I'll put the tr9lls 9n high alert)

S9 factitius (They want a slice 9f what I've g9t)

I'm Kankrilici9us (I-I-I-I-I- w9rdly, w9rdy)

H9ney, h9ney, h9ney If y9u really want me

Then get s9me patience

Maye then y9u'll get a taste

I'II 6e tasty, tasty

I'm s9 w9rdy, w9rdy

If y9u st9p me, st9p me

It'll drive me crazy

V t9 the A t9 the N T A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V +9 the A t9 the N T A S- damn, I'm w9rdv

F t9 the A t9 the C T I T I 9 U S, t9 the F t9 the A, t9 the, t9 the, t9 the, shut up Kankri

All the time I turn ar9und tr9lls gather r9und always 199king at me up and d9wn waiting f9r my (uh)

just want t9 say it n9w - d9n't want t9 stir up any drama, 6ut it's the fifth time that yu've 6een trigger warned .

And I kn9w I'm c9ming 9ff as a little 6it c9nceited and I keep 9n repeating h9w they just want t9 hear it.

What I'm trying t9 tell, that l'm n9t c9mpletely unsuscepti6le

'Cause they say I'm

Factiti us (s9 factiti9us)

I am slightly 19quaci9us

And if y9u were suspicious

I am n9t repetiti9us

619w my whistle (*whistle n9ise*

That puts the trOlls 9n high alert

Then they'll 6e lining d9wn the 619ck just t9 hear what I've g9t (g9t, g9t, g9t)

Fur, three, tw9, 9ne

Can't help l'm a genius

D9n't mean t9 9ffend 6ut my v9ca6 is stupend9us

Straight A's in English (9h, wee)

I'll put y9ur mind 9n high alert

It takes a 19t 9f c9mprehensin t9 understand what I'm saying (four, three, tw9, 9ne)

S9 factiti9us

S9 factitius

S9 factiti9us

I'm Kankrilici9us (I-I-I-I-I- w9rdy, w9rdy)

S9 factitius

S9 factiti9us

S9 factiti9us

I'm Kankrilici9us (I-I-I-I-I- w9rdy, w9rdy)

V t9 the A t9 the NT A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V t9 the A t9 the N T A S- damn, I'm wordy

V t9 the A t9 the NT A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V +9 the A t9 the N T A S- damn, I'm w9rdy

V t9 the A t9 the N T A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V t9 the A t9 the, t9 the (f9ur, three, tw9, 9ne)

F t9 the A t9 the C T IT I 9 US, t9 the F t9 the A t9 the CT IT 19 US, t9 the

F +9 the A t9 the C T I T I 9 US, 9 the F t9 the A t9 the, t9 the, t9 the (fur, three, tw9, 9ne)

V t9 the A t9 the N T A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V t9 the A t9 the N T A S- damn, I'm w9rdy

V t9 the A t9 the N T A S - damn, I'm w9rdy, V t9 the A t9 the, t9 the (fur, three, tw9, 9ne)

F t9 the A t9 the C T IT I 9 U S, t9 the F t9 the A t9 the CTIT19 US, t9 the F t9 the A t9 the C TIT I 9 US, t9 the F t9 the A t9 the, t9 the, t9 the, t9 the, t9 the.... shut up Kankri.

Thank you for this

[the-insuffera6le]

Did I see a TERF just misgender an alter?

Misgendering is s9mething that sh9uldn't 6e d9ne 9n purp9se given, I've had it happen t9 me 6ef9re, and it really hurts. If you 6eing misgendered is c9ming fr9m s9me an9nymous pers9n 9r internet tr9ll, d9n't get upset a69ut it. Getting upset means they've already hit a 6utt9n when they weren't g9nna hit 9ne in the first place, but if its s9me9ne y9u kn9w, then I say tell them t9 st9p. Even th9ugh it's n9t purp89seful meaning them any harm, it still can hurt pretty bad.

Misgendering can cause harm t9 pe9ple, such as depression, anxiety and even suicide in s9me cases. S9me pe9ple d9n't even realize that they're misgendering s9me69dy 6ecause they've never been educated 9n what it means t9 6e trans/en6y 9r whatever else there is. (I am n9t t99 educated 9n this as 9f current.)

If y9u are the pers9n wh9 says the wr9ng pr69nnuns, then it's pr9per etiquette f9r y9u t9 ap9lgize and affirminate them with their c9rrect pr9n9uns if they tell y9u them. If they haven't t9ld y9u what they are yet, just ask them first 6ef9re making any assumpti9ns! There's n9thing wr9ng a69ut asking s9me69dy what their pr69n9uns are in a civil way.

As f9r TERFs, they're n9t welc9me in the LGBTQ+ c9mmunity. They really d9n't kn9w what they're talking a69ut and sh9uld be ign9red/6l9cked 9n y9ur s9cial media sites if it's c9ming fr9m there, 6ut if it's an actual pers9n 6eing transph96ic, then ign9re them irl. The truth is, its their 9pini9n and we can't change that.

(I'm n9t saying I'm an expert 6y any means, it's just pr96a6ly best if y9u asked first. That way its safe f9r 69th parties inv9lved.)

[sarcasmprodigy]

Can we get a kankri based dissertation please, lay it on us

9f c9urse.

Acc9rding t9 all kn9wn laws 9f aviati9n, there is n9 way a 6ee sh9uld 6e a6le t9 fly. Its wings are t99 small t9 get its fat little 69dy 9ff the gr9und. The 6ee, 9f c9urse, flies anyway 6ecause 6ees d9n't care what humans think is imp9ssi6le. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. Yell9w, 6lack. 99h, 6lack and yell9w! Let's shake it up a little. 6arry! 6reakfast is ready! 99ming! Hang 9n a sec9nd. Hell9? - 6arry? - Adam? - Can y9u 6elieve this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick y9u up. L99king sharp. Use the stairs. Y9ur father paid g99d m9ney f9r th9se. S9rry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very pr9ud 9f y9u, s9n. A perfect rep9rt card, all 6's. Very pr9ud. Ma! I g9t a thing g9ing here. - Y9u g9t lint 9n y9ur fuzz. - 9w! That's me! - Wave t9 us! We'll 6e in r9w 118,000. - 6ye! 6arry, I t9ld y9u, st9p flying in the h9use! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, 6arry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduati9n. Never th9ught I'd make it. Three days grade sch99l, three days high sch99l. Th9se were awkward. Three days c9llege. I'm glad I t99k a day and hitchhiked ar9und the hive. Y9u did c9me 6ack different. - Hi, 6arry. - Artie, gr9wing a mustache? L99ks g99d. - Hear a69ut Frankie? - Yeah. - Y9u g9ing t9 the funeral? - N9, I'm n9t g9ing. Every69dy kn9ws, sting s9me9ne, y9u die. D9n't waste it 9n a squirrel. Such a h9thead. I guess he c9uld have just g9tten 9ut 9f the way. I l9ve this inc9rp9rating an amusement park int9 9ur day. That's why we d9n't need vacati9ns. 69y, quite a 6it 9f p9mp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, t9day we are men. - We are! - 6ee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished 6ees, please welc9me Dean 6uzzwell. Welc9me, New Hive 9ity graduating class 9f... ...9:15. That c9ncludes 9ur cerem9nies. And 6egins y9ur career at H9nex Industries! Will we pick 9urj96 t9day? I heard it's just 9rientati9n. Heads up! Here we g9. Keep y9ur hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - W9nder what it'll 6e like? - A little scary. Welc9me t9 H9nex, a divisi9n 9f H9nesc9 and a part 9f the Hexag9n Gr9up. This is it! W9w. W9w. We kn9w that y9u, as a 6ee, have w9rked y9ur wh9le life t9 get t9 the p9int where y9u can w9rk f9r y9ur wh9le life. H9ney 6egins when 9ur valiant P9llen J9cks 6ring the nectar t9 the hive. 9ur t9p-secret f9rmula is aut9matically c9l9r-c9rrected, scent-adjusted and 6u66le-c9nt9ured int9 this s99thing sweet syrup with its distinctive g9lden gl9w y9u kn9w as... H9ney! - That girl was h9t. - She's my c9usin! - She is? - Yes, we're all c9usins. - Right. Y9u're right. - At H9nex, we c9nstantly strive t9 impr9ve every aspect 9f 6ee existence. These 6ees are stress-testing a new helmet techn9l9gy. - What d9 y9u think he makes? - N9t en9ugh. Here we have 9ur latest advancement, the Krelman. - What d9es that d9? - Catches that little strand 9f h9ney that hangs after y9u p9ur it. Saves us milli9ns. Can any9ne w9rk 9n the Krelman? 9f c9urse. M9st 6ee j96s are small 9nes. 6ut 6ees kn9w that every small j96, if it's d9ne well, means a l9t. 6ut ch99se carefully 6ecause y9u'll stay in the j96 y9u pick f9r the rest 9f y9ur life. The same j96 the rest 9f y9ur life? I didn't kn9w that. What's the difference? Y9u'll 6e happy t9 kn9w that 6ees, as a species, haven't had 9ne day 9ff in 27 milli9n years. S9 y9u'll just w9rk us t9 death? We'll sure try. W9w! That 6lew my mind! "What's the difference?" H9w can y9u say that? 9ne j96 f9rever? That's an insane ch9ice t9 have t9 make. I'm relieved. N9w we 9nly have t9 make 9ne decisi9n in life. 6ut, Adam, h9w c9uld they never have t9ld us that? Why w9uld y9u questi9n anything? We're 6ees. We're the m9st perfectly functi9ning s9ciety 9n Earth. Y9u ever think may6e things w9rk a little t99 well here? Like what? Give me 9ne example. I d9n't kn9w. 6ut y9u kn9w what I'm talking a69ut. Please clear the gate. R9yal Nectar F9rce 9n appr9ach. Wait a sec9nd. 9heck it 9ut. - Hey, th9se are P9llen J9cks! - W9w. I've never seen them this cl9se. They kn9w what it's like 9utside the hive. Yeah, 6ut s9me d9n't c9me 6ack. - Hey, J9cks! - Hi, J9cks! Y9u guys did great! Y9u're m9nsters! Y9u're sky freaks! I l9ve it! I l9ve it! - I w9nder where they were. - I d9n't kn9w. Their day's n9t planned. 9utside the hive, flying wh9 kn9ws where, d9ing wh9 kn9ws what. Y9u can'tjust decide t9 6e a P9llen J9ck. Y9u have t9 6e 6red f9r that. Right. L99k. That's m9re p9llen than y9u and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status sym69l. 6ees make t99 much 9f it. Perhaps. Unless y9u're wearing it and the ladies see y9u wearing it. Th9se ladies? Aren't they 9ur c9usins t99? Distant. Distant. L99k at these tw9. - 99uple 9f Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must 6e danger9us 6eing a P9llen J9ck. Yeah. 9nce a 6ear pinned me against a mushr99m! He had a paw 9n my thr9at, and with the 9ther, he was slapping me! - 9h, my! - I never th9ught I'd kn9ck him 9ut. What were y9u d9ing during this? Trying t9 alert the auth9rities. I can aut9graph that. A little gusty 9ut there t9day, wasn't it, c9mrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunfl9wer patch six miles fr9m here t9m9rr9w. - Six miles, huh? - 6arry! A puddle jump f9r us, 6ut may6e y9u're n9t up f9r it. - May6e I am. - Y9u are n9t! We're g9ing 0900 at J-Gate. What d9 y9u think, 6uzzy-69y? Are y9u 6ee en9ugh? I might 6e. It all depends 9n what 0900 means. Hey, H9nex! Dad, y9u surprised me. Y9u decide what y9u're interested in? - Well, there's a l9t 9f ch9ices. - 6ut y9u 9nly get 9ne. D9 y9u ever get 69red d9ing the same j96 every day? S9n, let me tell y9u a69ut stirring. Y9u gra6 that stick, and y9u just m9ve it ar9und, and y9u stir it ar9und. Y9u get y9urself int9 a rhythm. It's a 6eautiful thing. Y9u kn9w, Dad, the m9re I think a69ut it, may6e the h9ney field just isn't right f9r me. Y9u were thinking 9f what, making 6all99n animals? That's a 6ad j96 f9r a guy with a stinger. Janet, y9ur s9n's n9t sure he wants t9 g9 int9 h9ney! - 6arry, y9u are s9 funny s9metimes. - I'm n9t trying t9 6e funny. Y9u're n9t funny! Y9u're g9ing int9 h9ney. 9ur s9n, the stirrer! - Y9u're g9nna 6e a stirrer? - N9 9ne's listening t9 me! Wait till y9u see the sticks I have. I c9uld say anything right n9w. I'm g9nna get an ant tatt99! Let's 9pen s9me h9ney and cele6rate! May6e I'll pierce my th9rax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grassh9pper. Get a g9ld t99th and call every69dy "dawg"! I'm s9 pr9ud. - We're starting w9rk t9day! - T9day's the day. 99me 9n! All the g99d j96s will 6e g9ne. Yeah, right. P9llen c9unting, stunt 6ee, p9uring, stirrer, fr9nt desk, hair rem9val... - Is it still availa6le? - Hang 9n. Tw9 left! 9ne 9f them's y9urs! 99ngratulati9ns! Step t9 the side. - What'd y9u get? - Picking crud 9ut. Stellar! W9w! 99uple 9f new6ies? Yes, sir! 9ur first day! We are ready! Make y9ur ch9ice. - Y9u want t9 g9 first? - N9, y9u g9. 9h, my. What's availa6le? Restr99m attendant's 9pen, n9t f9r the reas9n y9u think. - Any chance 9f getting the Krelman? - Sure, y9u're 9n. I'm s9rry, the Krelman just cl9sed 9ut. Wax m9nkey's always 9pen. The Krelman 9pened up again. What happened? A 6ee died. Makes an 9pening. See? He's dead. An9ther dead 9ne. Deady. Deadified. Tw9 m9re dead. Dead fr9m the neck up. Dead fr9m the neck d9wn. That's life! 9h, this is s9 hard! Heating, c99ling, stunt 6ee, p9urer, stirrer, humming, inspect9r num6er seven, lint c99rdinat9r, stripe supervis9r, mite wrangler. 6arry, what d9 y9u think I sh9uld... 6arry? 6arry! All right, we've g9t the sunfl9wer patch in quadrant nine... What happened t9 y9u? Where are y9u? - I'm g9ing 9ut. - 9ut? 9ut where? - 9ut there. - 9h, n9! I have t9, 6ef9re I g9 t9 w9rk f9r the rest 9f my life. Y9u're g9nna die! Y9u're crazy! Hell9? An9ther call c9ming in. If any9ne's feeling 6rave, there's a K9rean deli 9n 83rd that gets their r9ses t9day. Hey, guys. - L99k at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? H9ld it, s9n, flight deck's restricted. It's 9K, L9u. We're g9nna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are y9u? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank y9u. - 9K. Y9u g9t a rain advis9ry t9day, and as y9u all kn9w, 6ees cann9t fly in rain. S9 6e careful. As always, watch y9ur 6r99ms, h9ckey sticks, d9gs, 6irds, 6ears and 6ats. Als9, I g9t a c9uple 9f rep9rts 9f r99t 6eer 6eing p9ured 9n us. Murphy's in a h9me 6ecause 9f it, 6a66ling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder f9r y9u r99kies, 6ee law num6er 9ne, a6s9lutely n9 talking t9 humans! All right, launch p9siti9ns! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz, 6uzz! 6lack and yell9w! Hell9! Y9u ready f9r this, h9t sh9t? Yeah. Yeah, 6ring it 9n. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared 9ut 9f my sh9rts, check. 9K, ladies, let's m9ve it 9ut! P9und th9se petunias, y9u striped stem-suckers! All 9f y9u, drain th9se fl9wers! W9w! I'm 9ut! I can't 6elieve I'm 9ut! S9 6lue. I feel s9 fast and free! 69x kite! W9w! Fl9wers! This is 6lue Leader. We have r9ses visual. 6ring it ar9und 30 degrees and h9ld. R9ses! 30 degrees, r9ger. 6ringing it ar9und. Stand t9 the side, kid. It's g9t a 6it 9f a kick. That is 9ne nectar c9llect9r! - Ever see p9llinati9n up cl9se? - N9, sir. I pick up s9me p9llen here, sprinkle it 9ver here. May6e a dash 9ver there, a pinch 9n that 9ne. See that? It's a little 6it 9f magic. That's amazing. Why d9 we d9 that? That's p9llen p9wer. M9re p9llen, m9re fl9wers, m9re nectar, m9re h9ney f9r us. 999l. I'm picking up a l9t 9f 6right yell9w. 99uld 6e daisies. D9n't we need th9se? 99py that visual. Wait. 9ne 9f these fl9wers seems t9 6e 9n the m9ve. Say again? Y9u're rep9rting a m9ving fl9wer? Affirmative. That was 9n the line! This is the c99lest. What is it? I d9n't kn9w, 6ut I'm l9ving this c9l9r. It smells g99d. N9t like a fl9wer, 6ut I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. 9hemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little gra66y. My sweet l9rd 9f 6ees! Candy-6rain, get 9ff there! Pr96lem! - Guys! - This c9uld 6e 6ad. Affirmative. Very cl9se. G9nna hurt. Mama's little 69y. Y9u are way 9ut 9f p9siti9n, r99kie! 99ming in at y9u like a missile! Help me! I d9n't think these are fl9wers. - Sh9uld we tell him? - I think he kn9ws. What is this?! Match p9int! Y9u can start packing up, h9ney, 6ecause y9u're a69ut t9 eat it! Y9wser! Gr9ss. There's a 6ee in the car! - D9 s9mething! - I'm driving! - Hi, 6ee. - He's 6ack here! He's g9ing t9 sting me! N969dy m9ve. If y9u d9n't m9ve, he w9n't sting y9u. Freeze! He 6linked! Spray him, Granny! What are y9u d9ing?! W9w... the tensi9n level 9ut here is un6elieva6le. I g9tta get h9me. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! 6ee g9ing d9wn! Ken, c9uld y9u cl9se the wind9w please? Ken, c9uld y9u cl9se the wind9w please? 9heck 9ut my new resume. I made it int9 a f9ld-9ut 6r9chure. Y9u see? F9lds 9ut. 9h, n9. M9re humans. I d9n't need this. What was that? May6e this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is dia69lical. It's fantastic. It's g9t all my special skills, even my t9p-ten fav9rite m9vies. What's num6er 9ne? Star Wars? Nah, I d9n't g9 f9r that... ...kind 9f stuff. N9 w9nder we sh9uldn't talk t9 them. They're 9ut 9f their minds. When I leave a j96 interview, they're fla66ergasted, can't 6elieve what I say. There's the sun. May6e that's a way 9ut. I d9n't remem6er the sun having a 6ig 75 9n it. I predicted gl96al warming. I c9uld feel it getting h9tter. At first I th9ught it was just me. Wait! St9p! 6ee! Stand 6ack. These are winter 699ts. Wait! D9n't kill him! Y9u kn9w I'm allergic t9 them! This thing c9uld kill me! Why d9es his life have less value than y9urs? Why d9es his life have any less value than mine? Is that y9ur statement? I'm just saying all life has value. Y9u d9n't kn9w what he's capa6le 9f feeling. My 6r9chure! There y9u g9, little guy. I'm n9t scared 9f him. It's an allergic thing. Put that 9n y9ur resume 6r9chure. My wh9le face c9uld puff up. Make it 9ne 9f y9ur special skills. Kn9cking s9me9ne 9ut is als9 a special skill. Right. 6ye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Y9gurt night? - Sure, Ken. Y9u kn9w, whatever. - Y9u c9uld put car96 chips 9n there. - 6ye. - Supp9sed t9 6e less cal9ries. - 6ye. I g9tta say s9mething. She saved my life. I g9tta say s9mething. All right, here it g9es. Nah. What w9uld I say? I c9uld really get in tr9u6le. It's a 6ee law. Y9u're n9t supp9sed t9 talk t9 a human. I can't 6elieve I'm d9ing this. I've g9t t9. 9h, I can't d9 it. 99me 9n! N9. Yes. N9. D9 it. I can't. H9w sh9uld I start it? "Y9u like jazz?" N9, that's n9 g99d. Here she c9mes! Speak, y9u f99l! Hi! I'm s9rry. - Y9u're talking. - Yes, I kn9w. Y9u're talking! I'm s9 s9rry. N9, it's 9K. It's fine. I kn9w I'm dreaming. 6ut I d9n't recall g9ing t9 6ed. Well, I'm sure this is very disc9ncerting. This is a 6it 9f a surprise t9 me. I mean, y9u're a 6ee! I am. And I'm n9t supp9sed t9 6e d9ing this, 6ut they were all trying t9 kill me. And if it wasn't f9r y9u... I had t9 thank y9u. It's just h9w I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a 6ee. - Yeah. I'm talking t9 a 6ee. And the 6ee is talking t9 me! I just want t9 say I'm grateful. I'll leave n9w. - Wait! H9w did y9u learn t9 d9 that? - What? The talking thing. Same way y9u did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, h9ney." Y9u pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. 6ees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have t9 deal with. Anyway... Can I... ...get y9u s9mething? - Like what? I d9n't kn9w. I mean... I d9n't kn9w. 99ffee? I d9n't want t9 put y9u 9ut. It's n9 tr9u6le. It takes tw9 minutes. - It's just c9ffee. - I hate t9 imp9se. - D9n't 6e ridicul9us! - Actually, I w9uld l9ve a cup. Hey, y9u want rum cake? - I sh9uldn't. - Have s9me. - N9, I can't. - 99me 9n! I'm trying t9 l9se a c9uple micr9grams. - Where? - These stripes d9n't help. Y9u l99k great! I d9n't kn9w if y9u kn9w anything a69ut fashi9n. Are y9u all right? N9. He's making the tie in the ca6 as they're flying up Madis9n. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps int9 the church. The wedding is 9n. And he says, "Watermel9n? I th9ught y9u said Guatemalan. Why w9uld I marry a watermel9n?" Is that a 6ee j9ke? That's the kind 9f stuff we d9. Yeah, different. S9, what are y9u g9nna d9, 6arry? A69ut w9rk? I d9n't kn9w. I want t9 d9 my part f9r the hive, 6ut I can't d9 it the way they want. I kn9w h9w y9u feel. - Y9u d9? - Sure. My parents wanted me t9 6e a lawyer 9r a d9ct9r, 6ut I wanted t9 6e a fl9rist. - Really? - My 9nly interest is fl9wers. 9ur new queen was just elected with that same campaign sl9gan. Anyway, if y9u l99k... There's my hive right there. See it? Y9u're in Sheep Mead9w! Yes! I'm right 9ff the Turtle P9nd! N9 way! I kn9w that area. I l9st a t9e ring there 9nce. - Why d9 girls put rings 9n their t9es? - Why n9t? - It's like putting a hat 9n y9ur knee. - May6e I'll try that. - Y9u all right, ma'am? - 9h, yeah. Fine. Just having tw9 cups 9f c9ffee! Anyway, this has 6een great. Thanks f9r the c9ffee. Yeah, it's n9 tr9u6le. S9rry I c9uldn't finish it. If I did, I'd 6e up the rest 9f my life. Are y9u...? Can I take a piece 9f this with me? Sure! Here, have a crum6. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see y9u ar9und. 9r n9t. 9K, 6arry. And thank y9u s9 much again... f9r 6ef9re. 9h, that? That was n9thing. Well, n9t n9thing, 6ut... Anyway... This can't p9ssi6ly w9rk. He's all set t9 g9. We may as well try it. 9K, Dave, pull the chute. - S9unds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest m9ment 9f my life. Humans! I can't 6elieve y9u were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - D9 they try and kill y9u, like 9n TV? - S9me 9f them. 6ut s9me 9f them d9n't. - H9w'd y9u get 6ack? - P99dle. Y9u did it, and I'm glad. Y9u saw whatever y9u wanted t9 see. Y9u had y9ur "experience." N9w y9u can pick 9ut y9urj96 and 6e n9rmal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met s9me9ne. Y9u did? Was she 6ee-ish? - A wasp?! Y9ur parents will kill y9u! - N9, n9, n9, n9t a wasp. - Spider? - I'm n9t attracted t9 spiders. I kn9w it's the h9ttest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get 6y that face. S9 wh9 is she? She's... human. N9, n9. That's a 6ee law. Y9u w9uldn't 6reak a 6ee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - 9h, 69y. She's s9 nice. And she's a fl9rist! 9h, n9! Y9u're dating a human fl9rist! We're n9t dating. Y9u're flying 9utside the hive, talking t9 humans that attack 9ur h9mes with p9wer washers and M-80s! 9ne-eighth a stick 9f dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is 9ver! Eat this. This is n9t 9ver! What was that? - They call it a crum6. - It was s9 stingin' stripey! And that's n9t what they eat. That's what falls 9ff what they eat! - Y9u kn9w what a 9inna69n is? - N9. It's 6read and cinnam9n and fr9sting. They heat it up... Sit d9wn! ...really h9t! - Listen t9 me! We are n9t them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, 6ut wh9 can deny the heart that is yearning? There's n9 yearning. St9p yearning. Listen t9 me! Y9u have g9t t9 start thinking 6ee, my friend. Thinking 6ee! - Thinking 6ee. - Thinking 6ee. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! There he is. He's in the p99l. Y9u kn9w what y9ur pr96lem is, 6arry? I g9tta start thinking 6ee? H9w much l9nger will this g9 9n? It's 6een three days! Why aren't y9u w9rking? I've g9t a l9t 9f 6ig life decisi9ns t9 think a69ut. What life? Y9u have n9 life! Y9u have n9 j96. Y9u're 6arely a 6ee! W9uld it kill y9u t9 make a little h9ney? 6arry, c9me 9ut. Y9ur father's talking t9 y9u. Martin, w9uld y9u talk t9 him? 6arry, I'm talking t9 y9u! Y9u c9ming? G9t everything? All set! G9 ahead. I'll catch up. D9n't 6e t99 l9ng. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I t9ld y9u n9t t9 yell at him. He d9esn't resp9nd t9 yelling! - Then why yell at me? - 6ecause y9u d9n't listen! I'm n9t listening t9 this. S9rry, I've g9tta g9. - Where are y9u g9ing? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why y9u can't decide? 6ye. I just h9pe she's 6ee-ish. They have a huge parade 9f fl9wers every year in Pasadena? T9 6e in the T9urnament 9f R9ses, that's every fl9rist's dream! Up 9n a fl9at, surr9unded 6y fl9wers, cr9wds cheering. A t9urnament. D9 the r9ses c9mpete in athletic events? N9. All right, I've g9t 9ne. H9w c9me y9u d9n't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why d9n't y9u run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, 9K, I see, I see. All right, y9ur turn. TiV9. Y9u can just freeze live TV? That's insane! Y9u d9n't have that? We have Hiv9, 6ut it's a disease. It's a h9rri6le, h9rri6le disease. 9h, my. Dum6 6ees! Y9u must want t9 sting all th9se jerks. We try n9t t9 sting. It's usually fatal f9r us. S9 y9u have t9 watch y9ur temper. Very carefully. Y9u kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and thr9w it 9ut. W9rk thr9ugh it like any em9ti9n: Anger, jeal9usy, lust. 9h, my g99dness! Are y9u 9K? Yeah. - What is wr9ng with y9u?! - It's a 6ug. He's n9t 69thering any69dy. Get 9ut 9f here, y9u creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. H9w did y9u kn9w? It felt like a69ut 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much 9ur limit. Y9u've really g9t that d9wn t9 a science. - I l9st a c9usin t9 Italian V9gue. - I'll 6et. What in the name 9f Mighty Hercules is this? H9w did this get here? 9ute 6ee, G9lden 6l9ss9m, Ray Li9tta Private Select? - Is he that act9r? - I never heard 9f him. - Why is this here? - F9r pe9ple. We eat it. Y9u d9n't have en9ugh f99d 9f y9ur 9wn? - Well, yes. - H9w d9 y9u get it? - 6ees make it. - I kn9w wh9 makes it! And it's hard t9 make it! There's heating, c99ling, stirring. Y9u need a wh9le Krelman thing! - It's 9rganic. - It's 9ur-ganic! It's just h9ney, 6arry. Just what?! 6ees d9n't kn9w a69ut this! This is stealing! A l9t 9f stealing! Y9u've taken 9ur h9mes, sch99ls, h9spitals! This is all we have! And it's 9n sale?! I'm getting t9 the 69tt9m 9f this. I'm getting t9 the 69tt9m 9f all 9f this! Hey, Hect9r. - Y9u alm9st d9ne? - Alm9st. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll g9 h9me n9w and just leave this nice h9ney 9ut, with n9 9ne ar9und. Y9u're 6usted, 69x 69y! I knew I heard s9mething. S9 y9u can talk! I can talk. And n9w y9u'll start talking! Where y9u getting the sweet stuff? Wh9's y9ur supplier? I d9n't understand. I th9ught we were friends. The last thing we want t9 d9 is upset 6ees! Y9u're t99 late! It's 9urs n9w! Y9u, sir, have cr9ssed the wr9ng sw9rd! Y9u, sir, will 6e lunch f9r my iguana, Ignaci9! Where is the h9ney c9ming fr9m? Tell me where! H9ney Farms! It c9mes fr9m H9ney Farms! 9razy pers9n! What h9rri6le thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And n9w they're 9n the r9ad t9 n9where! Just keep still. What? Y9u're n9t dead? D9 I l99k dead? They will wipe anything that m9ves. Where y9u headed? T9 H9ney Farms. I am 9nt9 s9mething huge here. I'm g9ing t9 Alaska. M99se 6l99d, crazy stuff. 6l9ws y9ur head 9ff! I'm g9ing t9 Tac9ma. - And y9u? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-9h! - What is that?! - 9h, n9! - A wiper! Triple 6lade! - Triple 6lade? Jump 9n! It's y9ur 9nly chance, 6ee! Why d9es everything have t9 6e s9 d9gg9ne clean?! H9w much d9 y9u pe9ple need t9 see?! 9pen y9ur eyes! Stick y9ur head 9ut the wind9w! Fr9m NPR News in Washingt9n, I'm Carl Kasell. 6ut d9n't kill n9 m9re 6ugs! - 6ee! - M99se 6l99d guy!! - Y9u hear s9mething? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn 9ff the radi9. Whassup, 6ee 69y? Hey, 6l99d. Just a r9w 9f h9ney jars, as far as the eye c9uld see. W9w! I assume wherever this truck g9es is where they're getting it. I mean, that h9ney's 9urs. - 6ees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a cl9se c9mmunity. N9t us, man. We 9n 9ur 9wn. Every m9squit9 9n his 9wn. - What if y9u get in tr9u6le? - Y9u a m9squit9, y9u in tr9u6le. N969dy likes us. They just smack. See a m9squit9, smack, smack! At least y9u're 9ut in the w9rld. Y9u must meet girls. M9squit9 girls try t9 trade up, get with a m9th, drag9nfly. M9squit9 girl d9n't want n9 m9squit9. Y9u g9t t9 6e kidding me! M99se6l99d's a69ut t9 leave the 6uilding! S9 l9ng, 6ee! - Hey, guys! - M99se6l99d! I knew I'd catch y'all d9wn here. Did y9u 6ring y9ur crazy straw? We thr9w it in jars, slap a la6el 9n it, and it's pretty much pure pr9fit. What is this place? A 6ee's g9t a 6rain the size 9f a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - 9heck 9ut the new sm9ker. - 9h, sweet. That's the 9ne y9u want. The Th9mas 3000! Sm9ker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-aut9matic. Twice the nic9tine, all the tar. A c9uple 6reaths 9f this kn9cks them right 9ut. They make the h9ney, and we make the m9ney. "They make the h9ney, and we make the m9ney"? 9h, my! What's g9ing 9n? Are y9u 9K? Yeah. It d9esn't last t99 l9ng. D9 y9u kn9w y9u're in a fake hive with fake walls? 9ur queen was m9ved here. We had n9 ch9ice. This is y9ur queen? That's a man in w9men's cl9thes! That's a drag queen! What is this? 9h, n9! There's hundreds 9f them! 6ee h9ney. 9ur h9ney is 6eing 6razenly st9len 9n a massive scale! This is w9rse than anything 6ears have d9ne! I intend t9 d9 s9mething. 9h, 6arry, st9p. Wh9 t9ld y9u humans are taking 9ur h9ney? That's a rum9r. D9 these l99k like rum9rs? That's a c9nspiracy the9ry. These are 96vi9usly d9ct9red ph9t9s. H9w did y9u get mixed up in this? He's 6een talking t9 humans. - What? - Talking t9 humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make 9ut! Make 9ut? 6arry! We d9 n9t. - Y9u wish y9u c9uld. - Wh9se side are y9u 9n? The 6ees! I dated a cricket 9nce in San Ant9ni9. Th9se crazy legs kept me up all night. 6arry, this is what y9u want t9 d9 with y9ur life? I want t9 d9 it f9r all 9ur lives. N969dy w9rks harder than 6ees! Dad, I remem6er y9u c9ming h9me s9 9verw9rked y9ur hands were still stirring. Y9u c9uldn't st9p. I remem6er that. What right d9 they have t9 9ur h9ney? We live 9n tw9 cups a year. They put it in lip 6alm f9r n9 reas9n whats9ever! Even if it's true, what can 9ne 6ee d9? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That w9uld hurt. - N9. Up the n9se? That's a killer. There's 9nly 9ne place y9u can sting the humans, 9ne place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's 9nly full-h9ur acti9n news s9urce. N9 m9re 6ee 6eards! With 696 6um6le at the anch9r desk. Weather with St9rm Stinger. Sp9rts with 6uzz Larvi. And Jeanette 9hung. - G99d evening. I'm 696 6um6le. - And I'm Jeanette 9hung. A tri-c9unty 6ee, 6arry 6ens9n, intends t9 sue the human race f9r stealing 9ur h9ney, packaging it and pr9fiting fr9m it illegally! T9m9rr9w night 9n 6ee Larry King, we'll have three f9rmer queens here in 9ur studi9, discussing their new 699k, 9lassy Ladies, 9ut this week 9n Hexag9n. T9night we're talking t9 6arry 6ens9n. Did y9u ever think, "I'm a kid fr9m the hive. I can't d9 this"? 6ees have never 6een afraid t9 change the w9rld. What a69ut 6ee 99lum6us? 6ee Gandhi? 6ejesus? Where I'm fr9m, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking 9f stick6all 9r candy st9res. H9w 9ld are y9u? The 6ee c9mmunity is supp9rting y9u in this case, which will 6e the trial 9f the 6ee century. Y9u kn9w, they have a Larry King in the human w9rld t99. It's a c9mm9n name. Next week... He l99ks like y9u and has a sh9w and suspenders and c9l9red d9ts... Next week... Glasses, qu9tes 9n the 69tt9m fr9m the guest even th9ugh y9u just heard 'em. 6ear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans f9rward, p9inty sh9ulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, y9u attack at the p9int 9f weakness! It was my grandm9ther, Ken. She's 81. H9ney, her 6ackhand's a j9ke! I'm n9t g9nna take advantage 9f that? Quiet, please. Actual w9rk g9ing 9n here. - Is that that same 6ee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hell9. - Hell9, 6ee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remem6er y9u. Tim6erland, size ten and a half. Vi6ram s9le, I 6elieve. Why d9es he talk again? Listen, y9u 6etter g9 'cause we're really 6usy w9rking. 6ut it's 9ur y9gurt night! 6ye-6ye. Why is y9gurt night s9 difficult?! Y9u p99r thing. Y9u tw9 have 6een at this f9r h9urs! Yes, and Adam here has 6een a huge help. - Fr9sting... - H9w many sugars? Just 9ne. I try n9t t9 use the c9mpetiti9n. S9 why are y9u helping me? 6ees have g99d qualities. And it takes my mind 9ff the sh9p. Instead 9f fl9wers, pe9ple are giving 6all99n 69uquets n9w. Th9se are great, if y9u're three. And artificial fl9wers. - 9h, th9se just get me psych9tic! - Yeah, me t99. 6ent stingers, p9intless p9llinati9n. 6ees must hate th9se fake things! N9thing w9rse than a daff9dil that's had w9rk d9ne. May6e this c9uld make up f9r it a little 6it. - This lawsuit's a pretty 6ig deal. - I guess. Y9u sure y9u want t9 g9 thr9ugh with it? Am I sure? When I'm d9ne with the humans, they w9n't 6e a6le t9 say, "H9ney, I'm h9me," with9ut paying a r9yalty! It's an incredi6le scene here in d9wnt9wn Manhattan, where the w9rld anxi9usly waits, 6ecause f9r the first time in hist9ry, we will hear f9r 9urselves if a h9ney6ee can actually speak. What have we g9tten int9 here, 6arry? It's pretty 6ig, isn't it? I can't 6elieve h9w many humans d9n't w9rk during the day. Y9u think 6illi9n-d9llar multinati9nal f99d c9mpanies have g99d lawyers? Every69dy needs t9 stay 6ehind the 6arricade. - What's the matter? - I d9n't kn9w, I just g9t a chill. Well, if it isn't the 6ee team. Y9u 69ys w9rk 9n this? All rise! The H9n9ra6le Judge 6um6let9n presiding. All right. Case num6er 4475, Superi9r 99urt 9f New Y9rk, 6arry 6ee 6ens9n v. The H9ney Industry is n9w in sessi9n. Mr. M9ntg9mery, y9u're representing the five f99d c9mpanies c9llectively? A privilege. Mr. 6ens9n... y9u're representing all the 6ees 9f the w9rld? I'm kidding. Yes, Y9ur H9n9r, we're ready t9 pr9ceed. Mr. M9ntg9mery, y9ur 9pening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen 9f the jury, my grandm9ther was a simple w9man. 69rn 9n a farm, she 6elieved it was man's divine right t9 6enefit fr9m the 69unty 9f nature G9d put 6ef9re us. If we lived in the t9psy-turvy w9rld Mr. 6ens9n imagines, just think 9f what w9uld it mean. I w9uld have t9 neg9tiate with the silkw9rm f9r the elastic in my 6ritches! Talking 6ee! H9w d9 we kn9w this isn't s9me s9rt 9f h9l9graphic m9ti9n-picture-capture H9llyw99d wizardry? They c9uld 6e using laser 6eams! R969tics! Ventril9quism! 9l9ning! F9r all we kn9w, he c9uld 6e 9n ster9ids! Mr. 6ens9n? Ladies and gentlemen, there's n9 trickery here. I'm just an 9rdinary 6ee. H9ney's pretty imp9rtant t9 me. It's imp9rtant t9 all 6ees. We invented it! We make it. And we pr9tect it with 9ur lives. Unf9rtunately, there are s9me pe9ple in this r99m wh9 think they can take it fr9m us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm h9ping that, after this is all 9ver, y9u'll see h9w, 6y taking 9ur h9ney, y9u n9t 9nly take everything we have 6ut everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. S9 nice! Call y9ur first witness. S9, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden 9f H9ney Farms, 6ig c9mpany y9u have. I supp9se s9. I see y9u als9 9wn H9ney6urt9n and H9nr9n! Yes, they pr9vide 6eekeepers f9r 9ur farms. 6eekeeper. I find that t9 6e a very distur6ing term. I d9n't imagine y9u empl9y any 6ee-free-ers, d9 y9u? - N9. - I c9uldn't hear y9u. - N9. - N9. 6ecause y9u d9n't free 6ees. Y9u keep 6ees. N9t 9nly that, it seems y9u th9ught a 6ear w9uld 6e an appr9priate image f9r a jar 9f h9ney. They're very l9va6le creatures. Y9gi 6ear, F9zzie 6ear, 6uild-A-6ear. Y9u mean like this? 6ears kill 6ees! H9w'd y9u like his head crashing thr9ugh y9ur living r99m?! 6iting int9 y9ur c9uch! Spitting 9ut y9ur thr9w pill9ws! 9K, that's en9ugh. Take him away. S9, Mr. Sting, thank y9u f9r 6eing here. Y9ur name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it 6ef9re? - I was with a 6and called The P9lice. 6ut y9u've never 6een a p9lice 9fficer, have y9u? N9, I haven't. N9, y9u haven't. And s9 here we have yet an9ther example 9f 6ee culture casually st9len 6y a human f9r n9thing m9re than a prance-a69ut stage name. 9h, please. Have y9u ever 6een stung, Mr. Sting? 6ecause I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. 9r sh9uld I say... Mr. G9rd9n M. Sumner! That's n9t his real name?! Y9u idi9ts! Mr. Li9tta, first, 6elated c9ngratulati9ns 9n y9ur Emmy win f9r a guest sp9t 9n ER in 2005. Thank y9u. Thank y9u. I see fr9m y9ur resume that y9u're devilishly hands9me with a churning inner turm9il that's ready t9 6l9w. I enj9y what I d9. Is that a crime? N9t yet it isn't. 6ut is this what it's c9me t9 f9r y9u? Expl9iting tiny, helpless 6ees s9 y9u d9n't have t9 rehearse y9ur part and learn y9ur lines, sir? Watch it, 6ens9n! I c9uld 6l9w right n9w! This isn't a g99dfella. This is a 6adfella! Why d9esn't s9me9ne just step 9n this creep, and we can all g9 h9me?! - 9rder in this c9urt! - Y9u're all thinking it! 9rder! 9rder, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Li9tta, please sit d9wn! I think it was awfully nice 9f that 6ear t9 pitch in like that. I think the jury's 9n 9ur side. Are we d9ing everything right, legally? I'm a fl9rist. Right. Well, here's t9 a great team. T9 a great team! Well, hell9. - Ken! - Hell9. I didn't think y9u were c9ming. N9, I was just late. I tried t9 call, 6ut... the 6attery. I didn't want all this t9 g9 t9 waste, s9 I called 6arry. Luckily, he was free. 9h, that was lucky. There's a little left. I c9uld heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. S9 I hear y9u're quite a tennis player. I'm n9t much f9r the game myself. The 6all's a little gra66y. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, 6arry was l99king at y9ur resume, and he agreed with me that eating with ch9psticks isn't really a special skill. Y9u think I d9n't see what y9u're d9ing? I kn9w h9w hard it is t9 find the rightj96. We have that in c9mm9n. D9 we? 6ees have 100 percent empl9yment, 6ut we d9 j96s like taking the crud 9ut. That's just what I was thinking a69ut d9ing. Ken, I let 6arry 69rr9w y9ur raz9r f9r his fuzz. I h9pe that was all right. I'm g9ing t9 drain the 9ld stinger. Yeah, y9u d9 that. L99k at that. Y9u kn9w, I've just a69ut had it with y9ur little mind games. - What's that? - Italian V9gue. Mamma mia, that's a l9t 9f pages. A l9t 9f ads. Remem6er what Van said, why is y9ur life m9re valua6le than mine? Funny, I just can't seem t9 recall that! I think s9mething stinks in here! I l9ve the smell 9f fl9wers. H9w d9 y9u like the smell 9f flames?! N9t as much. Water 6ug! N9t taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a 9hapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've g9t issues! Well, well, well, a r9yal flush! - Y9u're 6luffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! P99 water! That 69wl is gnarly. Except f9r th9se dirty yell9w rings! Kenneth! What are y9u d9ing?! Y9u kn9w, I d9n't even like h9ney! I d9n't eat it! We need t9 talk! He's just a little 6ee! And he happens t9 6e the nicest 6ee I've met in a l9ng time! L9ng time? What are y9u talking a69ut?! Are there 9ther 6ugs in y9ur life? N9, 6ut there are 9ther things 6ugging me in life. And y9u're 9ne 9f them! Fine! Talking 6ees, n9 y9gurt night... My nerves are fried fr9m riding 9n this em9ti9nal r9ller c9aster! G99d6ye, Ken. And f9r y9ur inf9rmati9n, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made 6y man! I'm s9rry a69ut all that. I kn9w it's g9t an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was s9me kind 9f 6arrier 6etween Ken and me. I c9uldn't 9verc9me it. 9h, well. Are y9u 9K f9r the trial? I 6elieve Mr. M9ntg9mery is a69ut 9ut 9f ideas. We w9uld like t9 call Mr. 6arry 6ens9n 6ee t9 the stand. G99d idea! Y9u can really see why he's c9nsidered 9ne 9f the 6est lawyers... Yeah. Layt9n, y9u've g9tta weave s9me magic with this jury, 9r it's g9nna 6e all 9ver. D9n't w9rry. The 9nly thing I have t9 d9 t9 turn this jury ar9und is t9 remind them 9f what they d9n't like a69ut 6ees. - Y9u g9t the tweezers? - Are y9u allergic? 9nly t9 l9sing, s9n. 9nly t9 l9sing. Mr. 6ens9n 6ee, I'll ask y9u what I think we'd all like t9 kn9w. What exactly is y9ur relati9nship t9 that w9man? We're friends. - G99d friends? - Yes. H9w g99d? D9 y9u live t9gether? Wait a minute... Are y9u her little... ...6ed6ug? I've seen a 6ee d9cumentary 9r tw9. Fr9m what I understand, d9esn't y9ur queen give 6irth t9 all the 6ee children? - Yeah, 6ut... - S9 th9se aren't y9ur real parents! - 9h, 6arry... - Yes, they are! H9ld me 6ack! Y9u're an illegitimate 6ee, aren't y9u, 6ens9n? He's den9uncing 6ees! D9n't y'all date y9ur c9usins? - 96jecti9n! - I'm g9ing t9 pincushi9n this guy! Adam, d9n't! It's what he wants! 9h, I'm hit!! 9h, l9rdy, I am hit! 9rder! 9rder! The ven9m! The ven9m is c9ursing thr9ugh my veins! I have 6een felled 6y a winged 6east 9f destructi9n! Y9u see? Y9u can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the 9nly thing they kn9w! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel 9f mercy will c9me f9rward t9 suck the p9is9n fr9m my heaving 6utt9cks? I will have 9rder in this c9urt. 9rder! 9rder, please! The case 9f the h9ney6ees versus the human race t99k a p9inted turn against the 6ees yesterday when 9ne 9f their legal team stung Layt9n T. M9ntg9mery. - Hey, 6uddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I 6lew the wh9le case, didn't I? It d9esn't matter. What matters is y9u're alive. Y9u c9uld have died. I'd 6e 6etter 9ff dead. L99k at me. They g9t it fr9m the cafeteria d9wnstairs, in a tuna sandwich. L99k, there's a little celery still 9n it. What was it like t9 sting s9me9ne? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. Y9u think it was all a trap? 9f c9urse. I'm s9rry. I flew us right int9 this. What were we thinking? L99k at us. We're just a c9uple 9f 6ugs in this w9rld. What will the humans d9 t9 us if they win? I d9n't kn9w. I hear they put the r9aches in m9tels. That d9esn't s9und s9 6ad. Adam, they check in, 6ut they d9n't check 9ut! 9h, my. 99uld y9u get a nurse t9 cl9se that wind9w? - Why? - The sm9ke. 6ees d9n't sm9ke. Right. 6ees d9n't sm9ke. 6ees d9n't sm9ke! 6ut s9me 6ees are sm9king. That's it! That's 9ur case! It is? It's n9t 9ver? Get dressed. I've g9tta g9 s9mewhere. Get 6ack t9 the c9urt and stall. Stall any way y9u can. And assuming y9u've d9ne step c9rrectly, y9u're ready f9r the tu6. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Y9ur H9n9r! Where is the rest 9f y9ur team? Well, Y9ur H9n9r, it's interesting. 6ees are trained t9 fly haphazardly, and as a result, we d9n't make very g99d time. I actually heard a funny st9ry a69ut... Y9ur H9n9r, haven't these ridicul9us 6ugs taken up en9ugh 9f this c9urt's valua6le time? H9w much l9nger will we all9w these a6surd shenanigans t9 g9 9n? They have presented n9 c9mpelling evidence t9 supp9rt their charges against my clients, wh9 run legitimate 6usinesses. I m9ve f9r a c9mplete dismissal 9f this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm g9ing t9 have t9 c9nsider Mr. M9ntg9mery's m9ti9n. 6ut y9u can't! We have a terrific case. Where is y9ur pr99f? Where is the evidence? Sh9w me the sm9king gun! H9ld it, Y9ur H9n9r! Y9u want a sm9king gun? Here is y9ur sm9king gun. What is that? It's a 6ee sm9ker! What, this? This harmless little c9ntrapti9n? This c9uldn't hurt a fly, let al9ne a 6ee. L99k at what has happened t9 6ees wh9 have never 6een asked, "Sm9king 9r n9n?" Is this what nature intended f9r us? T9 6e f9rci6ly addicted t9 sm9ke machines and man-made w99den slat w9rk camps? Living 9ut 9ur lives as h9ney slaves t9 the white man? - What are we g9nna d9? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! Free the 6ees! The c9urt finds in fav9r 9f the 6ees! Vanessa, we w9n! I knew y9u c9uld d9 it! High-five! S9rry. I'm 9K! Y9u kn9w what this means? All the h9ney will finally 6el9ng t9 the 6ees. N9w we w9n't have t9 w9rk s9 hard all the time. This is an unh9ly perversi9n 9f the 6alance 9f nature, 6ens9n. Y9u'll regret this. 6arry, h9w much h9ney is 9ut there? All right. 9ne at a time. 6arry, wh9 are y9u wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have n9 pants. - What if M9ntg9mery's right? - What d9 y9u mean? We've 6een living the 6ee way a l9ng time, 27 milli9n years. 99ngratulati9ns 9n y9ur vict9ry. What will y9u demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a c9mplete shutd9wn 9f all 6ee w9rk camps. Then we want 6ack the h9ney that was 9urs t9 6egin with, every last dr9p. We demand an end t9 the gl9rificati9n 9f the 6ear as anything m9re than a filthy, smelly, 6ad-6reath stink machine. We're all aware 9f what they d9 in the w99ds. Wait f9r my signal. Take him 9ut. He'll have nause9us f9r a few h9urs, then he'll 6e fine. And we will n9 l9nger t9lerate 6ee-negative nicknames... 6ut it's just a prance-a69ut stage name! ...unnecessary inclusi9n 9f h9ney in 69gus health pr9ducts and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can't 6reathe. 6ring it in, 69ys! H9ld it right there! G99d. Tap it. Mr. 6uzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gall9ns m9re c9ming! - I think we need t9 shut d9wn! - Shut d9wn? We've never shut d9wn. Shut d9wn h9ney pr9ducti9n! St9p making h9ney! Turn y9ur key, sir! What d9 we d9 n9w? Cann9n6all! We're shutting h9ney pr9ducti9n! Missi9n a69rt. A69rting p9llinati9n and nectar detail. Returning t9 6ase. Adam, y9u w9uldn't 6elieve h9w much h9ney was 9ut there. 9h, yeah? What's g9ing 9n? Where is every69dy? - Are they 9ut cele6rating? - They're h9me. They d9n't kn9w what t9 d9. Laying 9ut, sleeping in. I heard y9ur Uncle Carl was 9n his way t9 San Ant9ni9 with a cricket. At least we g9t 9ur h9ney 6ack. S9metimes I think, s9 what if humans liked 9ur h9ney? Wh9 w9uldn't? It's the greatest thing in the w9rld! I was excited t9 6e part 9f making it. This was my new desk. This was my new j96. I wanted t9 d9 it really well. And n9w... N9w I can't. I d9n't understand why they're n9t happy. I th9ught their lives w9uld 6e 6etter! They're d9ing n9thing. It's amazing. H9ney really changes pe9ple. Y9u d9n't have any idea what's g9ing 9n, d9 y9u? - What did y9u want t9 sh9w me? - This. What happened here? That is n9t the half 9f it. 9h, n9. 9h, my. They're all wilting. D9esn't l99k very g99d, d9es it? N9. And wh9se fault d9 y9u think that is? Y9u kn9w, I'm g9nna guess 6ees. 6ees? Specifically, me. I didn't think 6ees n9t needing t9 make h9ney w9uld affect all these things. It's n9tjust fl9wers. Fruits, vegeta6les, they all need 6ees. That's 9ur wh9le SAT test right there. Take away pr9duce, that affects the entire animal kingd9m. And then, 9f c9urse... The human species? S9 if there's n9 m9re p9llinati9n, it c9uld all just g9 s9uth here, c9uldn't it? I kn9w this is als9 partly my fault. H9w a69ut a suicide pact? H9w d9 we d9 it? - I'll sting y9u, y9u step 9n me. - Thatjust kills y9u twice. Right, right. Listen, 6arry... s9rry, 6ut I g9tta get g9ing. I had t9 9pen my m9uth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are y9u leaving? Where are y9u g9ing? T9 the final T9urnament 9f R9ses parade in Pasadena. They've m9ved it t9 this weekend 6ecause all the fl9wers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have t9 see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm s9rry. I never meant it t9 turn 9ut like this. I kn9w. Me neither. T9urnament 9f R9ses. R9ses can't d9 sp9rts. Wait a minute. R9ses. R9ses? R9ses! Vanessa! R9ses?! 6arry? - R9ses are fl9wers! - Yes, they are. Fl9wers, 6ees, p9llen! I kn9w. That's why this is the last parade. May6e n9t. 99uld y9u ask him t9 sl9w d9wn? 99uld y9u sl9w d9wn? 6arry! 9K, I made a huge mistake. This is a t9tal disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind 9f is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted t9 help y9u with the fl9wer sh9p. I've made it w9rse. Actually, it's c9mpletely cl9sed d9wn. I th9ught may6e y9u were rem9deling. 6ut I have an9ther idea, and it's greater than my previ9us ideas c9m6ined. I d9n't want t9 hear it! All right, they have the r9ses, the r9ses have the p9llen. I kn9w every 6ee, plant and fl9wer 6ud in this park. All we g9tta d9 is get what they've g9t 6ack here with what we've g9t. - 6ees. - Park. - P9llen! - Fl9wers. - Rep9llinati9n! - Acr9ss the nati9n! T9urnament 9f R9ses, Pasadena, Calif9rnia. They've g9t n9thing 6ut fl9wers, fl9ats and c9tt9n candy. Security will 6e tight. I have an idea. Vanessa 6l99me, FTD. 9fficial fl9ral 6usiness. It's real. S9rry, ma'am. Nice 6r99ch. Thank y9u. It was a gift. 9nce inside, we just pick the right fl9at. H9w a69ut The Princess and the Pea? I c9uld 6e the princess, and y9u c9uld 6e the pea! Yes, I g9t it. - Where sh9uld I sit? - What are y9u? - I 6elieve I'm the pea. - The pea? It g9es under the mattresses. - N9t in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. Y9u d9 that! This wh9le parade is a fiasc9! Let's see what this 6a6y'll d9. Hey, what are y9u d9ing?! Then all we d9 is 6lend in with traffic... ...with9ut ar9using suspici9n. 9nce at the airp9rt, there's n9 st9pping us. St9p! Security. - Y9u and y9ur insect pack y9ur fl9at? - Yes. Has it 6een in y9ur p9ssessi9n the entire time? W9uld y9u rem9ve y9ur sh9es? - Rem9ve y9ur stinger. - It's part 9f me. I kn9w. Just having s9me fun. Enj9y y9ur flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just en9ugh p9llen t9 d9 the j96. Can y9u 6elieve h9w lucky we are? We have just en9ugh p9llen t9 d9 the j96! I think this is g9nna w9rk. It's g9t t9 w9rk. Attenti9n, passengers, this is Captain Sc9tt. We have a 6it 9f 6ad weather in New Y9rk. It l99ks like we'll experience a c9uple h9urs delay. 6arry, these are cut fl9wers with n9 water. They'll never make it. I g9tta get up there and talk t9 them. 6e careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like t9 9rder the talking inflata6le n9se and ear hair trimmer. Captain, I'm in a real situati9n. - What'd y9u say, Hal? - N9thing. 6ee! D9n't freak 9ut! My entire species... What are y9u d9ing? - Wait a minute! I'm an att9rney! - Wh9's an att9rney? D9n't m9ve. 9h, 6arry. G99d aftern99n, passengers. This is y9ur captain. W9uld a Miss Vanessa 6l99me in 246 please rep9rt t9 the c9ckpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a Dust6uster, a t9upee, a life raft expl9ded. 9ne's 6ald, 9ne's in a 69at, they're 69th unc9nsci9us! - Is that an9ther 6ee j9ke? - N9! N9 9ne's flying the plane! This is JFK c9ntr9l t9wer, Flight 356. What's y9ur status? This is Vanessa 6l99me. I'm a fl9rist fr9m New Y9rk. Where's the pil9t? He's unc9nsci9us, and s9 is the c9pil9t. N9t g99d. D9es any9ne 9n69ard have flight experience? As a matter 9f fact, there is. - Wh9's that? - 6arry 6ens9n. Fr9m the h9ney trial?! 9h, great. Vanessa, this is n9thing m9re than a 6ig metal 6ee. It's g9t giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why n9t? Isn't J9hn Trav9lta a pil9t? - Yes. H9w hard c9uld it 6e? Wait, 6arry! We're headed int9 s9me lightning. This is 696 6um6le. We have s9me late-6reaking news fr9m JFK Airp9rt, where a suspenseful scene is devel9ping. 6arry 6ens9n, fresh fr9m his legal vict9ry... That's 6arry! ...is attempting t9 land a plane, l9aded with pe9ple, fl9wers and an incapacitated flight crew. Fl9wers?! We have a st9rm in the area and tw9 individuals at the c9ntr9ls with a6s9lutely n9 flight experience. Just a minute. There's a 6ee 9n that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. 6ens9n and his n9-acc9unt c9mpadres. They've d9ne en9ugh damage. 6ut isn't he y9ur 9nly h9pe? Technically, a 6ee sh9uldn't 6e a6le t9 fly at all. Their wings are t99 small... Haven't we heard this a milli9n times? "The surface area 9f the wings and 69dy mass make n9 sense." - Get this 9n the air! - G9t it. - Stand 6y. - We're g9ing live. The way we w9rk may 6e a mystery t9 y9u. Making h9ney takes a l9t 9f 6ees d9ing a l9t 9f small j96s. 6ut let me tell y9u a69ut a small j96. If y9u d9 it well, it makes a 6ig difference. M9re than we realized. T9 us, t9 every9ne. That's why I want t9 get 6ees 6ack t9 w9rking t9gether. That's the 6ee way! We're n9t made 9f Jell-9. We get 6ehind a fell9w. - 6lack and yell9w! - Hell9! Left, right, d9wn, h9ver. - H9ver? - F9rget h9ver. This isn't s9 hard. 6eep-6eep! 6eep-6eep! 6arry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were 9n aut9pil9t the wh9le time. - That may have 6een helping me. - And n9w we're n9t! S9 it turns 9ut I cann9t fly a plane. All 9f y9u, let's get 6ehind this fell9w! M9ve it 9ut! M9ve 9ut! 9ur 9nly chance is if I d9 what I'd d9, y9u c9py me with the wings 9f the plane! D9n't have t9 yell. I'm n9t yelling! We're in a l9t 9f tr9u6le. It's very hard t9 c9ncentrate with that panicky t9ne in y9ur v9ice! It's n9t a t9ne. I'm panicking! I can't d9 this! Vanessa, pull y9urself t9gether. Y9u have t9 snap 9ut 9f it! Y9u snap 9ut 9f it. Y9u snap 9ut 9f it. - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - Y9u snap 9ut 9f it! - H9ld it! - Why? 99me 9n, it's my turn. H9w is the plane flying? I d9n't kn9w. Hell9? 6ens9n, g9t any fl9wers f9r a happy 9ccasi9n in there? The P9llen J9cks! They d9 get 6ehind a fell9w. - 6lack and yell9w. - Hell9. All right, let's dr9p this tin can 9n the 6lackt9p. Where? I can't see anything. Can y9u? N9, n9thing. It's all cl9udy. 99me 9n. Y9u g9t t9 think 6ee, 6arry. - Thinking 6ee. - Thinking 6ee. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling s9mething. - What? - I d9n't kn9w. It's str9ng, pulling me. Like a 27-milli9n-year-9ld instinct. 6ring the n9se d9wn. Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! - What in the w9rld is 9n the tarmac? - Get s9me lights 9n that! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! Thinking 6ee! - Vanessa, aim f9r the fl9wer. - 9K. 9ut the engines. We're g9ing in 9n 6ee p9wer. Ready, 69ys? Affirmative! G99d. G99d. Easy, n9w. That's it. Land 9n that fl9wer! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it ar9und! - N9t that fl9wer! The 9ther 9ne! - Which 9ne? - That fl9wer. - I'm aiming at the fl9wer! That's a fat guy in a fl9wered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating fl9wer made 9f milli9ns 9f 6ees! Pull f9rward. N9se d9wn. Tail up. R9tate ar9und it. - This is insane, 6arry! - This's the 9nly way I kn9w h9w t9 fly. Am I k99-k99-kach99, 9r is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get y9ur n9se in there. D9n't 6e afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just dr9p it. 6e a part 9f it. Aim f9r the center! N9w dr9p it in! Dr9p it in, w9man! 99me 9n, already. 6arry, we did it! Y9u taught me h9w t9 fly! - Yes. N9 high-five! - Right. 6arry, it w9rked! Did y9u see the giant fl9wer? What giant fl9wer? Where? 9f c9urse I saw the fl9wer! That was genius! - Thank y9u. - 6ut we're n9t d9ne yet. Listen, every9ne! This runway is c9vered with the last p9llen fr9m the last fl9wers availa6le anywhere 9n Earth. That means this is 9ur last chance. We're the 9nly 9nes wh9 make h9ney, p9llinate fl9wers and dress like this. If we're g9nna survive as a species, this is 9ur m9ment! What d9 y9u say? Are we g9ing t9 6e 6ees, 9rjust Museum 9f Natural Hist9ry keychains? We're 6ees! Keychain! Then f9ll9w me! Except Keychain. H9ld 9n, 6arry. Here. Y9u've earned this. Yeah! I'm a P9llen J9ck! And it's a perfect fit. All I g9tta d9 are the sleeves. 9h, yeah. That's 9ur 6arry. M9m! The 6ees are 6ack! If any69dy needs t9 make a call, n9w's the time. I g9t a feeling we'll 6e w9rking late t9night! Here's y9ur change. Have a great aftern99n! Can I help wh9's next? W9uld y9u like s9me h9ney with that? It is 6ee-appr9ved. D9n't f9rget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I d9n't see a nickel! S9metimes I just feel like a piece 9f meat! I had n9 idea. 6arry, I'm s9rry. Have y9u g9t a m9ment? W9uld y9u excuse me? My m9squit9 ass9ciate will help y9u. S9rry I'm late. He's a lawyer t99? I was already a 6l99d-sucking parasite. All I needed was a 6riefcase. Have a great aftern99n! 6arry, I just g9t this huge tulip 9rder, and I can't get them anywhere. N9 pr96lem, Vannie. Just leave it t9 me. Y9u're a lifesaver, 6arry. Can I help wh9's next? All right, scram6le, j9cks! It's time t9 fly. Thank y9u, 6arry! That 6ee is living my life! Let it g9, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all g9. - 6eautiful day t9 fly. - Sure is. 6etween y9u and me, I was dying t9 get 9ut 9f that 9ffice. Y9u have g9t t9 start thinking 6ee, my friend. - Thinking 6ee! - Me? H9ld it. Let's just st9p f9r a sec9nd. H9ld it. I'm s9rry. I'm s9rry, every9ne. Can we st9p here? I'm n9t making a maj9r life decisi9n during a pr9ducti9n num6er! All right. Take ten, every69dy. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually n9 rehearsal f9r that.

[cherripups]

♧, perchance? I am unsure h9w well y9u kn9w us, s9 y9u may skip this 9ne if y9u please.

You’re my: mutual! hi :)

How I met you: u followed me i think ??/?????//?/ and then i folowd u back???? or was it the other way arnd i have NO idea

Why I follow you: yall seemed neat :]

Your blog is: the red on the gray is hard on my eyes but ur icon is SO EPIC oh wait thats a question on here already abt the icon

Your URL is: i keep thinking its 69wyviez for some reason but id like 2 kno what it means

Your icon is: EPIC i like the colors its costco and wormda colors :]

A random fact I know about you: um!!!! u make stimboards ??>?//?>? 

General opinion: i think ur epic!!!! and also *grabbing my befriending ray*

A random thought I have: i have never had a coherent thought eveOH WAIT UR ICON ALSO REMINDS ME OF RALSEI DELTARUNE

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

another long one lads

//source: poker face 2: all in - studio c

rose: Welcome back to this year’s coverage of the World Championships of Earth C Hold’em Poker, and some very familiar faces in our final four tonight. Kankri Vantas, of course, one of last year’s finalists; he is rumored to have recently had an organ transplant that did not go well. 

kankri: ‘Stupid... m9nkey kidneys...’

rose: And last year’s million dollar winner, Vriska Serket, clearly doing well for herself.

vriska, internally crying: ‘I am in soooooooo much de8t........’

rose: Amazingly, Jake English has returned, even though last year it was painfully clear that he did not know how to play poker.

jake: ‘Ahahahahahaha! Ohh fools! They have no idea that ive spent the last year learning everything there is to know about poker! Theyll never see it coming! Hoo hoo hoo hoo-’

jake, pulling a sandwich out from under the table: ‘Mmm sandwiches...’

rose: And our one new face, John Egbert, former protege of the late Jane Crocker, who passed away at this very table.

john: ‘this is for you, jane.’

john: *pulls out jane’s literal fucking urn and places it on the table*

rose: And here comes the flop, with the king of clubs, the seven of spades, and the queen of hearts. 

kankri, starting to cough: ‘Yes! I finally have a g99d hand! ST9P C9UGHING, Y9U F99L, THEY’LL KN9W Y9U’RE EXCITED!’

kankri, starting to cough in his head: ‘There we g9.’

kankri: ‘Wait, am I c9ughing int9 my 6rain?’

kankri: Tw9 hundred th9usand. 

vriska: ‘I just!!!!!!!! HAD to use my winnings to 8uy a yacht made of gold, which SUNK IMMEDI8TELY!!!!!!!!’

vriska: Call?

vriska: ‘Now all the fish are living large on my 8oat and all my friends are dead in their solid gold life vests........’

jake: ‘Lets see king of clubs queen of hearts seven of spades... I have an ace and a king which puts my odds of winning at... *Calculator noises* 62.48%! Excellent. But play it cool!! They dont know that you know how to play now!’

jake, shrugging dramatically: Call.......????

jake: ‘Mhmmm and the oscar goes to? Me!’

john: ‘okay, you can do this-’

jane: ‘Remain calm, John.’

john: ‘aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! JANE!!??!?’

jane: ‘Yes. I’m speaking to you from beyond the grave. Or, urn, rather. I’m here to help. My one mistake was that I panicked. I don’t want you to-’

john: call.

jane: ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVEN’T LOOKED AT YOUR CARDS!’

john: ‘I DIDN’T LOOK AT MY CAAAARDS!!’

rose: Four players, eight hundred thousand in the pot. This could get interesting! And there’s the turn with the king of diamonds.

kankri: ‘Hahaha! Aw, man! I’m t9tally g9nna win!’

kankri: *His eyes widen as he hears a P9P fr9m inside him*

kankri: *999HHHH. 9H MY G99DNESS, I THINK MY KIDNEY JUST EXPL9DED, 9H- I’M DYING.’

kankri, still... shakily reaching for his chips: ‘Must... finish... game... and... get... t9... h9spital-...!’

kankri: Five hundred th9usand.

vriska: ‘MmmmAAAAH!!!!!!!! I need to win so I can 8uy a silver 8oat to rescue the gold 8oat!!!!!!!!’

vriska: Call?

jake: ‘That king puts my odds at 89.07%- OOH dont be happy!’

jake, faking a frown: C...all.

jane: ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW DO YOU NOT LOOK AT YOUR CARDS!??!?’

john: ‘I’M SORRY!!!!!! it’s hard to concentrate when your DECEASED MENTOR starts TALKING in your HEAD!!!’

jane: ‘SURE, blame the DEAD GIRL!! JUST LOOK AT YOUR CARDS!!!’

john: *panics and knocks over jane’s urn*

john: ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!’

jane: ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!’

rose: Oh, gross.

john: *starts trying to gather her ashes and put them back in the urn-*

jane: ‘Forget about me! PLAY THE GAME!’

john: call.

john: ‘aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA-’

jane: ‘YOU DIDN’T!!! LOOK AT YOUR CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

rose: Okay, I guess we’re just gonna pretend that didn’t happen! And there’s the river; it’s the ace of spades! That’s great news for anyone holding an ace right now.

kankri: ‘N9999999!!’

vriska: ‘NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!’

jake: ‘YEEEEEEEEES!!!’

john: ‘JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!?!??!?!?!’

kankri: ‘9hh, what d9 I d9? That ace c9uld ruin all! What are the chances that s9me9ne has a king AND an ace?’

jake, smugly: ‘0.01%.’

kankri: ‘I’ve g9t t9 g9 f9r it. My 9ne remaining kidney isn’t g9nna-’

kankri: *Freezes as he hears an9ther P9P*

kankri: ‘DEAR SIGNLESS, I HAVE N9 KIDNEYS! I HAVE M9MENTS T9 LIVE!!!!’

kankri: ....All in.

john: ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!’

vriska: All in.

kankri: ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.’

jake: All in!

vriska: ‘AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!’

john: all in,!

jane: ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!’

john: ‘WHY DON’T I LOOK AT MY CAAAAARDS!??!?’

jane: ‘I DON’T!! KNOW!!!!!!’

rose: Millions in the pot, but there can only be one winner. Kankri will show first...

kankri: *Flips his cards 9ver*

rose: A strong hand, there! Three kings.

kankri: ‘FASTER!!!!!!!!!!’

rose: And Vriska...

vriska: *Flips her cards over.*

rose: ...Only has two pairs, queens and sevens. Looks like she won’t be a repeat winner tonight.

vriska: ‘That’s it, it’s over. I wonder how much I could get for one of my kidney-...s........’

vriska: *Eyes........ Kankri........*

kankri: *...........Eyes her........ 6ack........ fearfully...............*

vriska, looking away and smiling deviously: ‘Like the wind.’

rose: I’m almost scared to see what Jake has...

jake: *Flips his cards over!*

rose: M- I- Oh, my. Jake has a full house! Kings full of aces! 

jake: ‘AHAHAHA! The padawan has become the jedi!’

rose: And no one knows what John has, including John.

jane: ‘Let’s just leave! I can’t take any more humiliation!’

john: ‘...i have... to know.’

john: *flips his cards over.*

rose: John has a pair of aces! He’s won it all!

john: ‘w-- wooOOAAH!! AAAAH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!’

rose: What an unbelievable ending to this tournament! And now we close; Kankri Vantas is quickly leaving, most likely to a hospital, and Vriska Serket follows him close behind?

vriska, running after kankri: ‘HERE COMES THE WIIIIIIIIND!!!!!!!!’

rose: And Jake... consoles himself with a sandwich.

jane: ‘Hoo hoo hoo! Oh, now you can afford to buy me an urn with a television in it! Heheh-’

john: *knocks the fucking urn over again in excitement*

jane: ‘Woah! I’m everywhere!!!’

rose: We thank you for joining us, and good night.

[xolotoofficial]

Hell9, th9ght that since i am 9n "s9cial media bl9g" i might as well participate in s9cial activity, especially since y9u pr9vided an 9pp9rtunity. There were a l9t of insensetive questi9ns that i ch9se t9 av9id since we d9nt kn9w each 9ther that cl9sely 6ut this 9ne is actually interesting - "33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?". It w9uld 6e more suiting t9 rephrase it as "D9 y9u pers9nally ch99se t9 drink s9da and, if it is 9kay, what d9es it mean/signify f9r y9u, if anything

gota say ur writin style is v enjoyabl 2 read lol

as 4 the q hell yea i drink pop faygo all day !!

n it means ohana bro 😔 (lol geddit like da juice)

an also if i got a hangovr or drymouth or a suga cravin shxts neva not delish ! but i gotta chug water 2 esp if im doin a show or sumn othrwize my voice can soun like trash w my pipes all sticky n shit

[li6ertas]

mad, happy, tired, reveal

[ x ]

MAD

[ To Dearest Dirk ]

L99k, I d9 understand that y9u are w9rried, 6ut please y9u must calm d9wn, Dirk. I will 6e fine and y9u d9 t99 much f9r me and y9u are g9ing t9 get hurt keeping me pr9tected. I have t9 d9 this 9n my 9wn s9 let me d9 this.

HAPPY

 [ To Dearest Dirk ]

Have I menti9ned recently that y9u’re rather amazing?I f9und s9me 9range fl9wers that y9u humans call sunfl9wers and their radience reminded me 9f y9u.I h9pe y9u like fl9wers.

TIRED

[ To Dearest Dirk ]

Dirk.Di rky.Dirky my daring i ahbent t9ld y9u that i l96ed y9u t9light and that’s n9t accepta6le f9r y9u hs9uld knw9 that y9u’re amazing always and I quite enj9y the way y9ur hear 6eats.Thats yhe 6esr pill9w.

REVEAL

[ To Dearest Dirk ]

Y9u are amazing. I was una6le t9 pr9perly tell y9u that last light since my palmhusk was c9nstantly falling up9n my face and I was una6le t9 f9rm a c9mplete sentence that was als9 c9hereny, 6ut y9u deserve t9 kn9w that y9u are an amazing human 6eing. There have 6een plenty 9f things that I have g9ne thr9ugh and y9u have stuck 6y me like n969dy else. Y9u’re there t9 remind me 9f things that I th9ught I w9uld have f9rg9tten. Y9u remind me that I’m n9t just what every69dy says I am. I am me. N9t any69dy else and I d9 n9t think I w9uld have made it this far wiht9ut y9u.When I am n9t with y9u, my 6l99dpusher cavity 6urns like I’m 9n fire and it’s 9nly put 9ut when I’m 6ack in y9ur arms. It’s as if in that 9ne space, I can 6e me again. I’m.. safe.I’ve never 6een 9ne that was g99d at my 9wn em9ti9n telling, 6ut.. perhas 9ver a candlelit meal, I can tell y9u in m9re detail h9w much I d9 ad9re y9u. Perhaps I w9n’t get l9st in y9ur l99kstu6s.

[ask-the-kankri-vantas-blog]

P9rrim! I find it VERY RUDE F9R Y9U T9 JUST 6ARGE IN WHEN I AM TRYING T9 LECTURE S9ME9NE. IT IS UNNECESSARY AND UNCALLED F9R. Y9U D9 N9T NEED T9 6E THREATENING PE9PLE THAT SEND ME ASKS LIKE THIS, 6ECAUSE IT IS A PRIME 9PPURTUNITY F9R ME T9 INF9RM THEM THE DAMAGES 9F CY6ER 6ULLYING AND THE EFFECTS THAT IT CAN CAUSE. Ahem, furtherm9re y9u are n9t my m9irall, and y9u are n9t my lusus s9 if I may ask, please leave me al9ne, and let me handle my 9wn affairs. There’s a d99r 9ver there that y9u can use t9 exit after all.

6ack t9 the 9riginal ask, since P9rrim has made her way 9ut, I understand that I talk m9re than the average tr9ll, 9r human. H9wever, this is 9f n9 c9ncern t9 y9u 6ecause I have the right t9 speak h9wever l9ng I like, and whenever I like. As far as the delayed lecture g9es, d9n’t even think f9r a sec9nd that P9rrim’s interrupti9n has freed y9u fr9m it.

First 9f all, telling me t9 “shut up” 9r that “y9u talk t99 much” d9es n9t help either me, 9r y9u. In fact, s9me might say that it falls under the lines 9f cy6er6ullying since th9se cl9sely resem6le insults. Did y9u tw9 kn9w that 6ullying causes 9ver 4,000 deaths a year, and is 9ne 9f the t9p 3 causes 9f death f9r y9uth? Y9u really sh9uld think a69ut what y9u say t9 s9me9ne 6ef9re y9u press send, since y9u never kn9w what kinds 9f pe9ple are reading y9ur messages, and if they take them t9 heart 9r 6rush them 9ff. H9wever, if y9u wish t9 take part 9f, (trigger warnings ahead: #self-harm #cutting) enc9uraging s9me9ne t9 damage their wrist, then g9 ahead and keep sending messages that c9uld p9tentially 6e the pers9n’s last straw. I realize y9u might think that things like these petty insults are funny, 6ut they really are n9t. They are pathetic, and meaningless with n9 gain fr9m either side 9f the party 9ther than self-l9athing and pain.

S9 remem6er, every time that y9u insult s9me9ne, 9r even attempt t9 trigger them in any p9ssi6le way, kn9w that each w9rd is an added weight t9 their sh9ulder. N9t every9ne is str9ng, and n9t every9ne can h9ld t9ns 9f weight and still trudge thr9ugh the day as if n9thing was wr9ng. With that in mind, try n9t t9 add t9 any9ne’s l9ad, as s9metimes the l9ad is already 6arely en9ugh f9r them t9 carry.

N9ting 9f everything that I have stated a69ve, if y9u wish t9 rant t9 s9me9ne, 9r want s9me9ne t9 c9mf9rt y9u, my ask and su6missi9n 69xes are always 9pen. If I feel that it falls under the lines 9f wanting advice 9r just s9me9ne t9 listen t9, I will make sure t9 n9t reply 9utl9ad 9r in pu6lic. Instead I will have a private reply that 9nly y9u and I can see. After all, it w9uld 6e m9st triggering t9 s9me pe9ple t9 ann9unce s9me9ne’s feelings t9 the wh9le w9rld when they d9 n9t wish t9 let many pe9ple kn9w. The 9nly excepti9n t9 this, is if y9u ask as an an9n, 9r pers9nally tell me y9u want me t9 su6mit that kind 9f ask. This may 6e a 6l9g t9 send me any inquires y9u might have, 6ut it always helps when s9me9ne is a6le t9 take s9me weight 9ff 9f y9ur sh9ulders.

9h, and if any9ne is w9ndering, I was n9t 9ffended 9r triggered 6y anything these an9ns said. I simply wanted t9 inf9rm them 9f their ways s9 that they can 6e m9re cauti9us in the future.

[lordboomslang]

MSPARP CronKri Sadness.

CRONUS: *he was curled in on himself, lying on the ground and staring at the spreading pool of violet.*

KANKRI: *Kankri was just walking al9ng 6ef9re he catches sight 9f him, His eyes instantly widen with a gasp and he rushes 9ver t9 him* Cr9nus?!

CRONUS: *he took a shaky breath and looked up at him, barely moving his head.*

CRONUS: k-kan...?

KANKRI: 9h my g9d Cr9nus, Wh9 did this t9 y9u? *he kneels d9wn next t9 him*

CRONUS: m-me.. alternate me

CRONUS: in a r-rage

KANKRI: 9kay, 9kay, um... *he starts t9 panic a little, n9t kn9wing what t9 d9*

CRONUS: ... kan...?

KANKRI: y-yes?

CRONUS: am i dyin' again?

KANKRI: I...I d9n't kn9w, I'm n9t sure if that's p9ssi6le, 6-6ut... 9h, please d9n't say that, Cr9nus...

CRONUS: *he twitched and reached out for him.*

CRONUS: d-don't leavwe me.

KANKRI: I w9n't. *he grasped his hand gently* I pr9mise I w9n't.

CRONUS: ... i don't vwant to die 'gain.

CRONUS: *his voice is childish.*

KANKRI: I... *he falls quiet and l99ks d9wn* 9h, Cr9nus...

CRONUS: *he sniffed and close his eyes.*

CRONUS: i'm s-scared.

KANKRI: *he str9ked his hair gently* It's alright... I am t99...

CRONUS: kan?

CRONUS: talk to me.

KANKRI: *he's a little taken a6ack 6y the request* a69ut what?

CRONUS: i don... don't c-care.

CRONUS: a-anythin'.

KANKRI: I d-d9n't... I d9n't kn9w... Um...

KANKRI: *his v9ice 6reaks*

CRONUS: ... vwhen vwe vwere little.

CRONUS: tell me about that.

KANKRI: Alright, well... I remem6er 6ack when we were a69ut tw9 sweeps. hah, we f9ught 9ver pretty much everything...

CRONUS: heh.

KANKRI: Y9u always w9n them, th9ugh.

CRONUS: ya.

CRONUS: i 'member. *he coughed.*

KANKRI: And ar9und my 4th sweep... S9me69dy put a 6unch 9f gum in y9ur hair and Meenah, Kurl9z, P9rrim, and I had t9 w9rk f9r an h9ur t9 get it 9ut...

CRONUS: *he laughed, raspy, and cringed a bit.*

CRONUS: ah... yeah, *he panted.*

CRONUS: i vwas... so mad.

KANKRI: And we never f9und 9ut wh9 it was, either...

CRONUS: i did.

KANKRI: 9h, wh9?

CRONUS: it vwas mituna... cause earlier, i'd. *he paused to get a breath.* i'd painted evwerything he owvened royal fuckin' purple.

CRONUS: *he lapsed into a coughing fit that should've ben laughter.*

KANKRI: *he ru66ed his 6ack, a l99k 9f sympathy 9n his face* 9h...

CRONUS: *cronus looked up at him.*

CRONUS: keep... keep talkin'.

KANKRI: *he n9dded* Remem6er y9ur 9ne wriggling day party? All the guys ran ar9und, chasing the girls with 6ugs, ha. Then we all 6asically slept the rest 9f the day...

CRONUS: yah...

KANKRI: The 9nly 9ne n9t scared 9f the 6ugs was Meenah. In fact, i think she j9ined us...

CRONUS: she did.

KANKRI: She w9uld...

KANKRI: What are s9me things y9u remem6er?

CRONUS: *he accidentally dropped his hand, and grasped for it again, lying in his little pool of violet blood.*

CRONUS: i-i

CRONUS: vwe... you vwere sitting alone.. one night.

CRONUS: an'... shit, vwe vwere like... fivwe.

CRONUS: i sat down vwith you and m... did i...

CRONUS: no, no.

CRONUS: i vweavwed.. a li'le... crowvn of flovwers, cause y' looked so sad sittin'... all alone. an' ya smiled at me.

KANKRI: 9h yeah, i remem6er that...

CRONUS: *he closed his eyes and smiled himself, just barely, a distant smile.*

KANKRI: *he smiled a little, still grasping his hand*

CRONUS: i... fuckin' treasured that little smile.

CRONUS: 'cause y... stopped smilin'.

CRONUS: *he cracked open an eye.*

KANKRI: *he l99ked at him, a c9uple 9f tears welling in his eyes*

CRONUS: please... don' f'get t' smile. looks so nice.

CRONUS: *he squeezed his hand gently.*

KANKRI: 9h, Cr9nus... *he's smiling, 6ut a tear runs d9wn his cheek, he wipes it away, as t9 n9t w9rry Cr9nus*

CRONUS: *he shook his head.* don'... cry, either.

CRONUS: 'sokay.

CRONUS: 'sokay.

KANKRI: *he wiped his eyes*

CRONUS: y' sad?

KANKRI: A little. 6ut I'm fine... d9n't w9rry a69ut me.

CRONUS: but.. i vwanna vworry about you.

KANKRI: Cr9nus...d9n't w9rry a69ut me, really. I sh9uld 6e w9rrying a69ut y9u...

CRONUS: kankri vwantas, i am dying. *this is stated firmly, as fact.*

KANKRI: C-Cr9nus, d-d9n't... *he can't finish his sentence, his v9ice falters*

CRONUS: it is ... a... fact, fuck. *he cringed.*

CRONUS: i am bleedin' out, righ' here.

CRONUS: you can't vworry cause nothing vworse can possibly happen.

KANKRI: N9, I can... I'll... I...

CRONUS: you'll vwhat?

KANKRI: I d9n't kn9w... it's 9ut 9f my reach n9w, and I just can't...

KANKRI: y9u can't...

CRONUS: i can't... not.

KANKRI: 6ut y9u can't! *he starts t9 cry again* y9u can't, 6ut y9u will... And the fact that theres n9thing I can d9... The fact that it will happen right 6ef9re my eyes... It tears me apart.

KANKRI: Y9u're my friend, cr9nus. Y9u're like the 6r9ther I never had, and n9w that I'm l9sing y9u...

KANKRI: I'm al9ne.

CRONUS: kankri, don't cry... pl'se... don't vwatch me die.

KANKRI: 6ut i pr9mised...

CRONUS: fuck that.

CRONUS: i'm s-scared. but i don't vwant you t' havwe t'...

CRONUS: y-you can g-go.

KANKRI: n9. N9. I'm n9t leaving y9u.

CRONUS: *he closed his eyes.*

CRONUS: you can.

CRONUS: simple.

KANKRI: I can. 6ut i w9n't.

KANKRI: It's simple, 6ut it's still a hard ch9ice...

KANKRI: And I'm staying.

CRONUS: *he smiled, weakly.*

KANKRI: This is why y9u're admira6le... Smiling at a time like this...

CRONUS: i got my f-frien' b'side me.

CRONUS: good 'n-nough.

KANKRI: *he wipes his eyes again, 6ut it's n9 use, he keeps crying*

CRONUS: *he rasped.* don't cry...

CRONUS: y' got such a pretty face, don'... cry...

CRONUS: *his breathing is getting progressively slower, and more labored.*

KANKRI: *Kankri takes n9te 9f this, and he starts t9 cry m9re* I can't st9p, Cr9nus...I just...

KANKRI: ...

CRONUS: shh-shh-shh...

KANKRI: 6ut...

CRONUS: shh... s...

CRONUS: *he let go of his hand.* kan.

KANKRI: y-yes?

CRONUS: *his voice is panicked.* kan- kan, savwe me, i don't vwant to d-die-

KANKRI: *his v9ice cracks* I-I can't... I... y9u...I'm s9rry...

CRONUS: *he clawed weakly at his throat as if trying to clear it, gasping for air.*

KANKRI: *he cl9sed his eyes, n9t wanting t9 see this*

CRONUS: *the gasps continued a moment until silence.*

KANKRI: *he 9pened 9ne eye* Cr9nus?

CRONUS: *there is no response.*

KANKRI: CR9NUS?!

CRONUS: *he is not breathing.*

KANKRI: *S9mething 6r9ke inside 9f him, and he finally 6reaks 9ut crying* I'm s9rry... *he s96s* I c9uldn't save y9u... I'm s9rry...

KANKRI: I pr9mise...

KANKRI: I'll always smile...

KANKRI: I pr9mise...

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- circuitousGrievance [CG] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:45 -- CG: J9hn may I c9me 9ver? EB: yeah of course. EB: you okay? CG: I am fine, I just desire t9 6e in y9ur presence. CG: I will 6e 6y y9ur 6l9ck sh9rtly. EB: okie dokie artichokie! CG: *He is there a few minutes later, just as he said, and kankri knocks on the door to John's room. Whenever he anwers he will see Kankri standing there, tired looking, like hes been aged years by whatever is weighing on his mind. The end of his conversation with Horuss may have been light hearted, but that hadn't full errased the weight of the cloud of depression that had formed over Kankri.* EB: *Is it because he's gotten to know Kankri so well that he can take one look at him and immediately tell something is wrong or does Kankri just appear that shitty rn? John HAS A CONCERN, but instead of saying it right off the bat he offers a welcoming hug.* hey! CG: *He welcomly takes the hug and returns the embrace.* Hell9. I h9pe I am n9t interrupting y9u fr9m anything 6y c9ming 9ver. EB: *lol he has no social life lately.* 'course not. rules is sleepin. -squeezes Kankri to his tid an extra time and also offers a hair ruffle.* CG: *His hair is ruffled and Kankri offers a trying smile for the effort.* That is g99d. EB: ...-that pathetic attempt at a smile confirms his suspicions.- EB: you said you're okay but... EB: sorry man, you don't really look like it. EB: you wanna uh, sit down and talk? CG: *Hes been found out. Kankri sighs and rests his cheek on John's chest.* If it is alright 6y y9u can we start with the sitting and see where it g9es? CG: I ap9l9gize, I am feeling rather w9rn 9ut. EB: okay. fair enough. *releases him long enough to lead him towards the bed where they can chill.* CG: *Hes greatly appreciative of this, and when he can finally sit on it, Kankri feels like he could melt into the bedding. It smelled like John and that in itself was extremely comforting.* EB: *Plops on his belly, stretching out and scooting over to make room, though he can't help but grin a little at the way Kankri...collapses. RIP*. CG: *Rest in peace indeed. Hes very content with just laying here with his eyes closed for a few well appreciated minutes of silence.* CG: ........................... I traveled int9 the v9id with H9russ. EB: uh..... EB: what? EB: *o.o* CG: Yes that was my 9riginal reacti9n as well. *He sighs again and rolls over onto his side to better face John, even if he is still keeping his eyes closed.* He wanted t9 speak with me a69ut s9mething, 6ut his r969t f9rm w9uld n9t have 6een a6le t9 withstand the em9ti9nal distress he was feeling s9 he used a device t9 9pen up s9me s9rt 9f rift. CG: Its in the engineering department. The rift that is. I have n9 idea if any9ne else kn9ws a69ut it. EB: *gives him a wide eyed stare* well ...yeah i knew about it i guess. but i didn't know that regular people could just walk through it. i thought you had to have some kind of special powers or something. CG: Well....either I have s9me s9rt 9f unkn9wn p9wer dwelling within me. 9r the m9re likely senari9 is that just a69ut any9ne can g9 thr9ugh it. EB: *Files this information in the back of his mind for later...but right now he's more concerned about how this fucked Kankri up so badly.* EB: okay....so what happened? CG: 9nce we made it thr9ugh the terrifying travel 9f cr9ssing thr9ugh pure darkness 9n a seemingly destinati9nless path. We just appeared in this r99m, 9ne apparently H9russ had made bef9re c9ming int9 9ur relm 9f reality. CG: A w9rksh9p 9f s9rts. CG: 9nce there we sat and talked. He was highly upset a69ut having met the previ9us Empress 9f 6ef9rus earlier in the day, and claimed the intr9ducti9n did n9t live up t9 his expectati9ns and that he felt inc9mplete and p9intless as far as his existence g9es. CG: And then he pr9ceeded t9 ask me if I felt like my j96 here 9n this ship was w9rth anything, if my pr9fessi9n was truly making a change 9r difference, 9r if I als9 felt just as p9intless 9r inc9mplete since it is n9t as th9ugh any9ne ever c9mes t9 me with pr9fessi9nal advice. CG: He t9ld me a69ut h9w he wanted t9... fade 9ut 9f existence s9 t9 speak. And 6r9ught up the challenges and d9u6ts that c9me with merely existing in life 9r in his case death. CG: I managed t9 settle him eventually. CG: *Slowly opens his eyes to a squint. He has a small headache forming.* CG: It was a l9t t9 take in. EB: *listens to all of this carefully, his frown deepening as Kankri talks. Ouch.* EB: yeah...*rubs the back of his neck* you're not kidding. EB: that'd be a lot for anybody. CG: *Nods slowly.* Im s9rry t9 burden y9u with all 9f this s9 suddenly. EB: *pokes his cheek*. it's not a burden! CG: *Puts a hand to the poked cheek.* Are y9u certain? EB: *pokes him again, more firmly.* yes!!! EB: cuddling is nice and all...but talking is the main point of this thing we got going on, right? CG: *So much poking.* Mhh. Yes, that is true. EB: *releases his cheeks, although honestly he could poke them all day...they're chubby...* EB: so it's not a burden. it's just part of the package. EB: and...normally i'd say someone you haven't known very long unloading on you like that wasn't being very considerate but... EB: the guy is new here. he's lonely and desperate. EB: it sounds like he didn't have many other places to turn. EB: hard not to feel sorry for him too. CG: That is it exactly. He seems t9 have g9tten t9 6e rather f9nd 9f me rather quickly, that 6eing said I appreciate his friendship t99. I was just n9t expecting f9r 9ur c9nversati9n t9 6ec9me s9 seri9us s9 quickly. CG: I think I helped him res9lve... part 9f whatever was upsetting his m99d. And he seemed rather greatful. 6ut I am 9ddly really drained fr9m it. EB: maybe it was because he directed some of the questions back at you instead of just focusing on himself? CG: Perhaps that might 6e it... EB: or...? EB: *raises eyebrows.* CG: 9r.... *He trails off for a moment, looking away from John.* D9 y9u think that I'm d9ing s9mething, making a difference 9r just 6eing pr9ductive at all, with my j96 in c9unseling? EB: hmm..*pokes his tongue into his cheek, thinking about this. He knows better than anyone how few patients Kankri has had, since he's the Medical Director. And he knows how it makes Kankri feel too, even though he's never come out and said it bothers him.* EB: it's hard to say...because it's not my life. do you think if you got more patients, you'd feel more fulfilled? 'cause in that case it's a matter of fixing that problem. EB: but if not, maybe you shouldn't even be a counseler. you can do other things, you know. everybody all over the ship is switching departments and learning new things. CG: Im n9t sure. 6ut even if I did have m9re patients what if I didn't feel anym9re fufilled then I d9 n9w? And if I'm n9t a c9unsel9r then what else? I d9nt happen t9 have any 9ther skills that w9uld 6e deemed useful in any department. EB: well, regardless of skills...what do you like to do? EB: 'cause skills can always be learned. EB: i mean you don't have to have an answer right now. and you don't have to switch departments either. EB: but maybe it's something to start thinking about. CG: May6e. Als9 y9u are right, I pr96a6ly sh9uldnt attempt t9 make a decisi9n right n9w. CG: I will think a69ut it f9r the time it takes t9 answer th9se questi9ns. EB: ...*pauses for a sec and then brushes his palm against kankri's.* EB: by the way, you're not useless. even if you didn't do any kind of job on the ship you wouldn't be useless. a person's job isn't what makes them worth something. CG: *Without missing a beat when John's hand brushes against Kankri's he makes the move to interlock their fingers. And as he listens to what John has to say Kankri's eyes become misty to the point where he needs to blink the threat away.* Thank y9u. EB: *holds his hand as he lays there* it's all good, dude. -- circuitousGrievance [CG] ceased pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 01:07 --

[cosmicjynx]

TRIGGERED-

N9w I realize we've 6een at this f9r s9me time already, 6ut at the risk 9f derailing the dial9gue y9u initiated, and may I just say h9w thrilled I am that y9u did, Karkat, I w9uld just like qualify my entire analysis 9f y9ur "Alternian culture" 6y saying that in c9ntrast with life 9n 6ef9rus, while y9ur pe9ple may have 6een engaged in vi9lent, lethal class struggle f9r milli9ns 9f sweeps, 6y n9 means d9es this imply that the 6ef9ran way 9f life was entirely with9ut pr96lematic elements, perhaps even m9re distur6ing and insidi9us f9r their lack 9f ackn9wledgement and 9pen discussi9n, particularly as a c9nsequence 9f what in my view were widely and dismayingly unexamined systemic s9cial injustices resulting fr9m the entrenched p9wer dynamics in play, dynamics strikingly similar t9 th9se 9f y9ur planet's markedly m9re 6ellic9se iterati9n, which has 9nly served t9 fully vindicate my hyp9thesis that such a hierarchy is really predicated 9n intrinsic dysfuncti9n, and failure t9 shift all the usual narratives and undiagn9sed pr96lems int9 an 9pen, judgment-free disc9urse thr9ugh which pr96lematic issues are c9nstructively channeled int9 m9re intelligently pr96lematized avenues 9f discussi9n. N9w 6ef9re I c9ntinue, it is 9nly decent 9f me t9 warn y9u a69ut certain triggers that are surely ahead in this essay. I mean c9nversati9n. Triggers include 6ut likely will n9t 6e limited t9 class 9ppressi9n, culling culture and vi9lence against gru6s, lusus a6use, c9mplementary and anal9g9us hate speech, pail filling, slurries and 9ther c9ncupiscent fluids, lifespan shaming, a6leist slurs, pr9lix dissertation... Actually, may6e it w9uld 6e easier f9r y9u t9 list y9ur triggers, and I'll d9 my 6est t9 av9id th9se t9pics, 9r navigate them m9re delicately, if at all p9ssi6le?Great. It s9unds like y9u d9n't have any triggers, at least n9ne that y9u kn9w a69ut. I'll pr9ceed with cauti9n nevertheless. Just please let me kn9w if y9u start feeling triggered 6y anything I'm saying, and we can take a 6rief time-9ut while y9u summ9n y9ur m9irail t9 help pacify y9u, assuming y9u have 9ne. N9t that I'm presuming y9u d9, 6ut I heard that y9u did, is that c9rrect? If n9t, I ap9l9gize. I further ap9l9gize if y9ur 9rientati9n precludes the p9ssi6ility, as a pale ar9mantic, panquadrant demir9mantic, s9mething in the gray palesexual department 9r such, and h9pefully y9u are n9t triggered 6y such presumptu9us c9ncillian9rmative language. It w9uldn't 6e the first time I was guilty 9f such an inexcusa6le micr9aggressi9n, and I am n9t s9 96livi9us t9 my 9wn r9mantic privilege t9 6elieve it will 6e the last time either. I'm glad I 6r9ught up the su6ject 9f unexamined privilege, 6ecause it d9vetails 6eautifully with the p9int I was a69ut t9 make regarding 6ef9ran s9ciety and its savage um6ral p9tentiality which later manifested thr9ugh the kind 9f Alternian 6rutality y9u are all t99 familiar with. Th9se in the higher echel9ns 9f the hem9spectrum such as the ceruleans, 9r "6lue 6l99ds" (careful, 6eing l99se with such termin9l9gy is 9pening the fl99dgates t9 a wh9le h9st 9f t9xic signist language and hem9ph96ic slurs), when addressing the challenges faced 6y th9se l9wer 9n the spectrum, such as the midhues 9r in particular warm castes like um6ers, 9chres, 9r "rust 6l99ds" (an9ther slur, highly pr96lematic, deeply 9ffensive and triggering termin9l9gy, str9ngly impl9ring y9u steer clear 9f this term), they w9uld 6e well advised t9 check their cerulean privilege, particularly 6ef9re dismissing hardships 9r marginalizing claims 9f 9ppressi9n, which can 6e difficult f9r them t9 identify 9r empathize with fr9m their advantage9us p9siti9n within the 6ef9ran//Alternian p9wer structures. And s9me may argue that in 9ur peaceful "ut9pian" culture that we have freed 9urselves fr9m injustice and disparities in privilege in a p9st-scarcity ec9n9my, largely equal rights distri6uted acr9ss the hem9spectrum, and theref9re exist in a "p9st-spectral w9rld" (laugh 9ut l9ud), and theref9re there is n9 need t9 champi9n imp9rtant s9cial causes and there is n9thing left t9 de6ate, 6ut really n9thing c9uld 6e further fr9m the truth. Y9u just need t9 educate y9urself and carefully investigate the l9ngstanding p9wer dynamics in play. F9r instance, a seemingly "harmless" remark fr9m a cis6l99ded cerulean t9ward an um6er 9r G9d f9r6id a 6urgundy 9r yes even a warm-identifying physically-c99ler caste, a69ut their very l9ng term future plans such as 9n the 9rder 9f centuries, then this may pr9ve t9 6e a very hurtful micr9agressi9n due t9 the fact that l9whues cann9t p9ssi6ly live that l9ng themselves, and the m9re priviliged caste c9uld easily 9utlive d9zens 9f generati9ns 9f midhues 9r hundreds 9f generati9ns 9f 6U9Ys (6urgundy-um6er-9chre-yell9wgreens, n9te please av9id descri6ing the latterm9st as "lime 6l99ds" as it has hist9rically 6een used as an especially vici9us epithet). Such remarks can further trigger painful reminders 9f h9w c99ler castes, t9 s9me extent 9JAs, 6ut CIPs and R9yal-Vs in particular, have 6een a6le t9 use their tremend9us lifespans 9ver the millenia t9 gain a strangleh9ld 9ver the s9cial 9rder, have 6een a6le t9 c9mpletely dictate 9ur s9cietal ev9luti9n 6y ensuring 9nly their cultural agendas and narratives receive the dial9gue's air supply, assuring the c9dificati9n 9f th9se resultant ideals and deciding what "n9rmalcy" entails, and sadly these a6s9lutes 6ec9me internalized acr9ss the full spectral range, even within th9se 9f m9st c9mpr9mised privilege, and s9 y9u 6egin t9 see the cyclical nature 9f the dysfuncti9n and the resulting inertia against p9sitive change and raising awareness 9f the m9st underpr96lematized issues, which I think we can agree, is pretty pr96lematic.And really, it's every9ne's 6usiness t9 examine their privilege, even 6urgundies, wh9 may 6e su6ject t9 the pitfall 9f 6elieving inc9rrectly there are n9ne 9n the scale 6eneath them wh9m they enj9y certain privileges 9ver, which 9ff-spectrum tr9lls will never kn9w, such as th9se identifying as 9ther6l99ds 9r caste-multiples, "p9ly6l99ded", any wh9 hem9gl96ically ID as having a caste which manifests n9where (as yet kn9wn) in any9ne physically, 9r f9r that matter 9ffspecs wh9 physically d9 p9ssess such a 6l99d type, 9r "mutants" (VERY pr96lematic term, highly triggering t9 s9me, 6e warned), such as y9u and I, Karkat. 6ut this puts us 69th in a situati9n which t9 9ur kn9wledge uniquely all9ws us t9 understand and empathize with tragically underprivileged and unemp9wered gr9ups acr9ss all scuttles 9f life, thus aff9rding us 69th what I like t9 call a "uniquely underprivileged privilege", which, yes, is a kind 9f privilege we sh9uld 69th strive t9 check as well, whenever we can. This same uniquely underprivileged perspective as I'm sure y9u kn9w was disadvantaged up9n my p9st-scratch iterati9n as well, and while I have n9 d9u6t y9u justifia6ly came t9 revere that figure 9f y9ur planet's rich hist9ry and y9ur pers9nal lineage, and while his g9als 9f peace, equality, and a truly spectra6lind s9ciety, I'm afraid I pers9nally have tr9u6le c9nd9ning his meth9ds. I d9n't like t9 use the term "pr96lematic" lightly, 6ut, well, his tactics were n9thing if n9t massively pr96lematic, t9 say the least, empl9ying vi9lent uprising t9 effect change, and em6laz9ning his mark up9n hist9ry and his faithful f9ll9wers with the salty fl9urish 9f a single rude, sh9uted swear w9rd, it's n9t t9 my taste even th9ugh he is wh9 I w9uld have gr9wn up t9 6e in an9ther life. 6ut n9, I prefer t9 effect s9cial change thr9ugh rati9nal, h9nest disc9urse and c9ntri6uting t9 9ng9ing dial9gues, f9cusing 9n what sh9uld 6e the real g9als, thr9ugh keen adherence t9 the discipline 9f Pr96lematics, ensuring that we stay f9cused 9n successfully pr96lematizing a wide range 9f direly underc9mplicated s9cial dilemmas.It's nice t9 see we agree 9n s9 much. May6e we are n9t s9 unalike, despite 9ur drastically different up6ringings. Anyway, as I was saying, the st9ry 9f y9ur ancest9r, and m9re imp9rtantly my exhaustive list 9f misgivings with his appr9ach t9 s9cial change, is quite a l9ng and ela69rate 9ne, 6ut it actually fits 6rilliantly within the larger m9saic which captures the 6r9ad str9kes 9f my p9st. I mean 9ur discussi9n. Trigger warnings f9r the f9ll9wing c9ntent include: ancest9r 6ashing, faith shaming, l9ud swearing, t9rture, 6urn w9unds, ship sinking... again, seri9usly, just let me kn9w if y9u 6egin t9 feel triggered 6y anything, even slightly. We'll pause and see if we can really expl9re th9se issues, and identify exactly h9w I may have invalidated y9ur struggles. With9ut further ad9, the st9ry is as f9ll9ws

[okaymindsthinkalike]

MSPARP CronKri Sadness.

CRONUS: *he was curled in on himself, lying on the ground and staring at the spreading pool of violet.*

KANKRI: *Kankri was just walking al9ng 6ef9re he catches sight 9f him, His eyes instantly widen with a gasp and he rushes 9ver t9 him* Cr9nus?!

CRONUS: *he took a shaky breath and looked up at him, barely moving his head.*

CRONUS: k-kan...?

KANKRI: 9h my g9d Cr9nus, Wh9 did this t9 y9u? *he kneels d9wn next t9 him*

CRONUS: m-me.. alternate me

CRONUS: in a r-rage

KANKRI: 9kay, 9kay, um... *he starts t9 panic a little, n9t kn9wing what t9 d9*

CRONUS: ... kan...?

KANKRI: y-yes?

CRONUS: am i dyin' again?

KANKRI: I...I d9n't kn9w, I'm n9t sure if that's p9ssi6le, 6-6ut... 9h, please d9n't say that, Cr9nus...

CRONUS: *he twitched and reached out for him.*

CRONUS: d-don't leavwe me.

KANKRI: I w9n't. *he grasped his hand gently* I pr9mise I w9n't.

CRONUS: ... i don't vwant to die 'gain.

CRONUS: *his voice is childish.*

KANKRI: I... *he falls quiet and l99ks d9wn* 9h, Cr9nus...

CRONUS: *he sniffed and close his eyes.*

CRONUS: i'm s-scared.

KANKRI: *he str9ked his hair gently* It's alright... I am t99...

CRONUS: kan?

CRONUS: talk to me.

KANKRI: *he's a little taken a6ack 6y the request* a69ut what?

CRONUS: i don... don't c-care.

CRONUS: a-anythin'.

KANKRI: I d-d9n't... I d9n't kn9w... Um...

KANKRI: *his v9ice 6reaks*

CRONUS: ... vwhen vwe vwere little.

CRONUS: tell me about that.

KANKRI: Alright, well... I remem6er 6ack when we were a69ut tw9 sweeps. hah, we f9ught 9ver pretty much everything...

CRONUS: heh.

KANKRI: Y9u always w9n them, th9ugh.

CRONUS: ya.

CRONUS: i 'member. *he coughed.*

KANKRI: And ar9und my 4th sweep... S9me69dy put a 6unch 9f gum in y9ur hair and Meenah, Kurl9z, P9rrim, and I had t9 w9rk f9r an h9ur t9 get it 9ut...

CRONUS: *he laughed, raspy, and cringed a bit.*

CRONUS: ah... yeah, *he panted.*

CRONUS: i vwas... so mad.

KANKRI: And we never f9und 9ut wh9 it was, either...

CRONUS: i did.

KANKRI: 9h, wh9?

CRONUS: it vwas mituna... cause earlier, i'd. *he paused to get a breath.* i'd painted evwerything he owvened royal fuckin' purple.

CRONUS: *he lapsed into a coughing fit that should've ben laughter.*

KANKRI: *he ru66ed his 6ack, a l99k 9f sympathy 9n his face* 9h...

CRONUS: *cronus looked up at him.*

CRONUS: keep... keep talkin'.

KANKRI: *he n9dded* Remem6er y9ur 9ne wriggling day party? All the guys ran ar9und, chasing the girls with 6ugs, ha. Then we all 6asically slept the rest 9f the day...

CRONUS: yah...

KANKRI: The 9nly 9ne n9t scared 9f the 6ugs was Meenah. In fact, i think she j9ined us...

CRONUS: she did.

KANKRI: She w9uld...

KANKRI: What are s9me things y9u remem6er?

CRONUS: *he accidentally dropped his hand, and grasped for it again, lying in his little pool of violet blood.*

CRONUS: i-i

CRONUS: vwe... you vwere sitting alone.. one night.

CRONUS: an'... shit, vwe vwere like... fivwe.

CRONUS: i sat down vwith you and m... did i...

CRONUS: no, no.

CRONUS: i vweavwed.. a li'le... crowvn of flovwers, cause y' looked so sad sittin'... all alone. an' ya smiled at me.

KANKRI: 9h yeah, i remem6er that...

CRONUS: *he closed his eyes and smiled himself, just barely, a distant smile.*

KANKRI: *he smiled a little, still grasping his hand*

CRONUS: i... fuckin' treasured that little smile.

CRONUS: 'cause y... stopped smilin'.

CRONUS: *he cracked open an eye.*

KANKRI: *he l99ked at him, a c9uple 9f tears welling in his eyes*

CRONUS: please... don' f'get t' smile. looks so nice.

CRONUS: *he squeezed his hand gently.*

KANKRI: 9h, Cr9nus... *he's smiling, 6ut a tear runs d9wn his cheek, he wipes it away, as t9 n9t w9rry Cr9nus*

CRONUS: *he shook his head.* don'... cry, either.

CRONUS: 'sokay.

CRONUS: 'sokay.

KANKRI: *he wiped his eyes*

CRONUS: y' sad?

KANKRI: A little. 6ut I'm fine... d9n't w9rry a69ut me.

CRONUS: but.. i vwanna vworry about you.

KANKRI: Cr9nus...d9n't w9rry a69ut me, really. I sh9uld 6e w9rrying a69ut y9u...

CRONUS: kankri vwantas, i am dying. *this is stated firmly, as fact.*

KANKRI: C-Cr9nus, d-d9n't... *he can't finish his sentence, his v9ice falters*

CRONUS: it is ... a... fact, fuck. *he cringed.*

CRONUS: i am bleedin' out, righ' here.

CRONUS: you can't vworry cause nothing vworse can possibly happen.

KANKRI: N9, I can... I'll... I...

CRONUS: you'll vwhat?

KANKRI: I d9n't kn9w... it's 9ut 9f my reach n9w, and I just can't...

KANKRI: y9u can't...

CRONUS: i can't... not.

KANKRI: 6ut y9u can't! *he starts t9 cry again* y9u can't, 6ut y9u will... And the fact that theres n9thing I can d9... The fact that it will happen right 6ef9re my eyes... It tears me apart.

KANKRI: Y9u're my friend, cr9nus. Y9u're like the 6r9ther I never had, and n9w that I'm l9sing y9u...

KANKRI: I'm al9ne.

CRONUS: kankri, don't cry... pl'se... don't vwatch me die.

KANKRI: 6ut i pr9mised...

CRONUS: fuck that.

CRONUS: i'm s-scared. but i don't vwant you t' havwe t'...

CRONUS: y-you can g-go.

KANKRI: n9. N9. I'm n9t leaving y9u.

CRONUS: *he closed his eyes.*

CRONUS: you can.

CRONUS: simple.

KANKRI: I can. 6ut i w9n't.

KANKRI: It's simple, 6ut it's still a hard ch9ice...

KANKRI: And I'm staying.

CRONUS: *he smiled, weakly.*

KANKRI: This is why y9u're admira6le... Smiling at a time like this...

CRONUS: i got my f-frien' b'side me.

CRONUS: good 'n-nough.

KANKRI: *he wipes his eyes again, 6ut it's n9 use, he keeps crying*

CRONUS: *he rasped.* don't cry...

CRONUS: y' got such a pretty face, don'... cry...

CRONUS: *his breathing is getting progressively slower, and more labored.*

KANKRI: *Kankri takes n9te 9f this, and he starts t9 cry m9re* I can't st9p, Cr9nus...I just...

KANKRI: ...

CRONUS: shh-shh-shh...

KANKRI: 6ut...

CRONUS: shh... s...

CRONUS: *he let go of his hand.* kan.

KANKRI: y-yes?

CRONUS: *his voice is panicked.* kan- kan, savwe me, i don't vwant to d-die-

KANKRI: *his v9ice cracks* I-I can't... I... y9u...I'm s9rry...

CRONUS: *he clawed weakly at his throat as if trying to clear it, gasping for air.*

KANKRI: *he cl9sed his eyes, n9t wanting t9 see this*

CRONUS: *the gasps continued a moment until silence.*

KANKRI: *he 9pened 9ne eye* Cr9nus?

CRONUS: *there is no response.*

KANKRI: CR9NUS?!

CRONUS: *he is not breathing.*

KANKRI: *S9mething 6r9ke inside 9f him, and he finally 6reaks 9ut crying* I'm s9rry... *he s96s* I c9uldn't save y9u... I'm s9rry...

KANKRI: I pr9mise...

KANKRI: I'll always smile...

KANKRI: I pr9mise...