#johnkri log

[effluentbalatron-blog]

-- circuitousGrievance [CG] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:45 -- CG: J9hn may I c9me 9ver? EB: yeah of course. EB: you okay? CG: I am fine, I just desire t9 6e in y9ur presence. CG: I will 6e 6y y9ur 6l9ck sh9rtly. EB: okie dokie artichokie! CG: *He is there a few minutes later, just as he said, and kankri knocks on the door to John's room. Whenever he anwers he will see Kankri standing there, tired looking, like hes been aged years by whatever is weighing on his mind. The end of his conversation with Horuss may have been light hearted, but that hadn't full errased the weight of the cloud of depression that had formed over Kankri.* EB: *Is it because he's gotten to know Kankri so well that he can take one look at him and immediately tell something is wrong or does Kankri just appear that shitty rn? John HAS A CONCERN, but instead of saying it right off the bat he offers a welcoming hug.* hey! CG: *He welcomly takes the hug and returns the embrace.* Hell9. I h9pe I am n9t interrupting y9u fr9m anything 6y c9ming 9ver. EB: *lol he has no social life lately.* 'course not. rules is sleepin. -squeezes Kankri to his tid an extra time and also offers a hair ruffle.* CG: *His hair is ruffled and Kankri offers a trying smile for the effort.* That is g99d. EB: ...-that pathetic attempt at a smile confirms his suspicions.- EB: you said you're okay but... EB: sorry man, you don't really look like it. EB: you wanna uh, sit down and talk? CG: *Hes been found out. Kankri sighs and rests his cheek on John's chest.* If it is alright 6y y9u can we start with the sitting and see where it g9es? CG: I ap9l9gize, I am feeling rather w9rn 9ut. EB: okay. fair enough. *releases him long enough to lead him towards the bed where they can chill.* CG: *Hes greatly appreciative of this, and when he can finally sit on it, Kankri feels like he could melt into the bedding. It smelled like John and that in itself was extremely comforting.* EB: *Plops on his belly, stretching out and scooting over to make room, though he can't help but grin a little at the way Kankri...collapses. RIP*. CG: *Rest in peace indeed. Hes very content with just laying here with his eyes closed for a few well appreciated minutes of silence.* CG: ........................... I traveled int9 the v9id with H9russ. EB: uh..... EB: what? EB: *o.o* CG: Yes that was my 9riginal reacti9n as well. *He sighs again and rolls over onto his side to better face John, even if he is still keeping his eyes closed.* He wanted t9 speak with me a69ut s9mething, 6ut his r969t f9rm w9uld n9t have 6een a6le t9 withstand the em9ti9nal distress he was feeling s9 he used a device t9 9pen up s9me s9rt 9f rift. CG: Its in the engineering department. The rift that is. I have n9 idea if any9ne else kn9ws a69ut it. EB: *gives him a wide eyed stare* well ...yeah i knew about it i guess. but i didn't know that regular people could just walk through it. i thought you had to have some kind of special powers or something. CG: Well....either I have s9me s9rt 9f unkn9wn p9wer dwelling within me. 9r the m9re likely senari9 is that just a69ut any9ne can g9 thr9ugh it. EB: *Files this information in the back of his mind for later...but right now he's more concerned about how this fucked Kankri up so badly.* EB: okay....so what happened? CG: 9nce we made it thr9ugh the terrifying travel 9f cr9ssing thr9ugh pure darkness 9n a seemingly destinati9nless path. We just appeared in this r99m, 9ne apparently H9russ had made bef9re c9ming int9 9ur relm 9f reality. CG: A w9rksh9p 9f s9rts. CG: 9nce there we sat and talked. He was highly upset a69ut having met the previ9us Empress 9f 6ef9rus earlier in the day, and claimed the intr9ducti9n did n9t live up t9 his expectati9ns and that he felt inc9mplete and p9intless as far as his existence g9es. CG: And then he pr9ceeded t9 ask me if I felt like my j96 here 9n this ship was w9rth anything, if my pr9fessi9n was truly making a change 9r difference, 9r if I als9 felt just as p9intless 9r inc9mplete since it is n9t as th9ugh any9ne ever c9mes t9 me with pr9fessi9nal advice. CG: He t9ld me a69ut h9w he wanted t9... fade 9ut 9f existence s9 t9 speak. And 6r9ught up the challenges and d9u6ts that c9me with merely existing in life 9r in his case death. CG: I managed t9 settle him eventually. CG: *Slowly opens his eyes to a squint. He has a small headache forming.* CG: It was a l9t t9 take in. EB: *listens to all of this carefully, his frown deepening as Kankri talks. Ouch.* EB: yeah...*rubs the back of his neck* you're not kidding. EB: that'd be a lot for anybody. CG: *Nods slowly.* Im s9rry t9 burden y9u with all 9f this s9 suddenly. EB: *pokes his cheek*. it's not a burden! CG: *Puts a hand to the poked cheek.* Are y9u certain? EB: *pokes him again, more firmly.* yes!!! EB: cuddling is nice and all...but talking is the main point of this thing we got going on, right? CG: *So much poking.* Mhh. Yes, that is true. EB: *releases his cheeks, although honestly he could poke them all day...they're chubby...* EB: so it's not a burden. it's just part of the package. EB: and...normally i'd say someone you haven't known very long unloading on you like that wasn't being very considerate but... EB: the guy is new here. he's lonely and desperate. EB: it sounds like he didn't have many other places to turn. EB: hard not to feel sorry for him too. CG: That is it exactly. He seems t9 have g9tten t9 6e rather f9nd 9f me rather quickly, that 6eing said I appreciate his friendship t99. I was just n9t expecting f9r 9ur c9nversati9n t9 6ec9me s9 seri9us s9 quickly. CG: I think I helped him res9lve... part 9f whatever was upsetting his m99d. And he seemed rather greatful. 6ut I am 9ddly really drained fr9m it. EB: maybe it was because he directed some of the questions back at you instead of just focusing on himself? CG: Perhaps that might 6e it... EB: or...? EB: *raises eyebrows.* CG: 9r.... *He trails off for a moment, looking away from John.* D9 y9u think that I'm d9ing s9mething, making a difference 9r just 6eing pr9ductive at all, with my j96 in c9unseling? EB: hmm..*pokes his tongue into his cheek, thinking about this. He knows better than anyone how few patients Kankri has had, since he's the Medical Director. And he knows how it makes Kankri feel too, even though he's never come out and said it bothers him.* EB: it's hard to say...because it's not my life. do you think if you got more patients, you'd feel more fulfilled? 'cause in that case it's a matter of fixing that problem. EB: but if not, maybe you shouldn't even be a counseler. you can do other things, you know. everybody all over the ship is switching departments and learning new things. CG: Im n9t sure. 6ut even if I did have m9re patients what if I didn't feel anym9re fufilled then I d9 n9w? And if I'm n9t a c9unsel9r then what else? I d9nt happen t9 have any 9ther skills that w9uld 6e deemed useful in any department. EB: well, regardless of skills...what do you like to do? EB: 'cause skills can always be learned. EB: i mean you don't have to have an answer right now. and you don't have to switch departments either. EB: but maybe it's something to start thinking about. CG: May6e. Als9 y9u are right, I pr96a6ly sh9uldnt attempt t9 make a decisi9n right n9w. CG: I will think a69ut it f9r the time it takes t9 answer th9se questi9ns. EB: ...*pauses for a sec and then brushes his palm against kankri's.* EB: by the way, you're not useless. even if you didn't do any kind of job on the ship you wouldn't be useless. a person's job isn't what makes them worth something. CG: *Without missing a beat when John's hand brushes against Kankri's he makes the move to interlock their fingers. And as he listens to what John has to say Kankri's eyes become misty to the point where he needs to blink the threat away.* Thank y9u. EB: *holds his hand as he lays there* it's all good, dude. -- circuitousGrievance [CG] ceased pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 01:07 --