#y'all know what this is going in main tags cause yeah

[dungeonrabbits]

"chilchucks a real hater"-wrong! chilchucks a lover!!

[callsign-datura]

a/n: y'all not a word. just literal ghost!simon for those who like this trope <3 tags: cunnilingus, ghost sex, ghost simon. yeah he's a literal ghost and eats you out.

ghost!simon riley. ghost that died, and is now a ghost. you were his wife-- so he haunts your new home. ghost!simon that scares away the men you try to hook up with after he dies. breaking things near them, flickering the lights whenever they're alone. you're his, not theirs. in life and in death, his. of course he's going to make them piss their pants before you can fuck them. he doesn't blame you, though. he blames them.

ghost!simon who can pass through walls and objects at will and touch them, too. so, when he finds out he can touch you? best bet he does.

ghost!simon whose main hobby in the afterlife is watching you. other ghosts may cause trouble... but he's not that type. he wants to watch his gorgeous wife, all the time, no matter what she's doing. ghost!simon who's a little too eager to watch you possibly touch yourself when you get horny. it's been years at this point, and he knows you- your tells. the way your thighs started to rub together as you laid in bed, tossing and turning.

ghost!simon who gets the idea to try and let you know he's there... watching. "bird," he mumbles. he knows you can't hear him, but he'll talk to you anyway. "so pretty." he brings a hand to your leg, dragging it upward gently-- testingly. he's surprised that he can touch you at all, so he continues. ghost!simon who leans down to kiss your arm. ghost!simon who recognizes the way your body freezes at the contact. who snickers when you curse about it. you know it's him... you know you're haunted by him in the back of your mind, even if you're in denial. --- "simon?" you whisper, sitting up. you know in your logical brain that this isn't happening-- you're just imagining it. but when the bedlight lamp flickers twice, your heart sinks and your stomach flutters. "...s'that you?" you ask, and the lights flicker twice once more. you feel more fleeting touches along the outer sides of your legs, and suddenly the bed dips at your feet. you feel something nudging your legs apart, and you curse yourself at how easily you follow suit and spread your legs. you're not the spiritual type... this can't be happening. maybe you're dreaming? maybe you're already asleep?

--- ghost!simon who moves between your legs and leans down, kissing your leg just above the knee. his hands move up to the waistband of your pants, and he tugs lazily. sure, he's been a ghost for a while-- but it takes ghost energy to move things! you should do it for him. and he hums when you do, watching the way your hips shift as you pull them down, panties following. you know it's him, and that makes him smug. even after all this time you haven't forgotten his touch. his love. he moves and lays down, and the bed dips further beneath him. his weight, still tangible somehow even in the ghost plane, or whatever the fuck it's called. ---

you're questioning if you've gone crazy. you feel hands move up your legs yet again, stopping at your hips as you feel a few kisses at your hip bone. your head falls back and your chest swells. you shut your eyes and try to ignore the fact that simon always kissed you there before he went down on you. more proof that this was him. ---

he can't taste you. all of his senses are gone now, but at least he can feel you and at least you know it's him. his tongue darts out, leaving over the flesh at your hip before he nibbles there. he can use most functions of his body, some at will, others are just defunct. saliva is one that he still has. why? he has no idea. it's not like he can eat in the afterlife.

...well, not actual food, at least. ---

your eyes flutter. it's an odd sensation. you feel him kiss closer to your cunt, and you've fully succumbed to the feeling. your chest swells more and you feel countless emotions-- you knew he was with you, in one way or another. feeling his touch, his kisses. it almost makes you cry. you suck in a breath and lift your hips, and you feel vibration against your flesh, as if he laughed at you. you just wish you could hear it... see his face between your legs... the feeling is enough.

---

his tongue dips out again, moving between your folds, flattening against your clit. his hands find the bottom of your thighs, gently hoisting them up to give him better access as he tilts his head, swirling his tongue in slow circles like he always did. two slow swirls, four quick flicks. he knew how quickly it got you to cum when he was alive. he hopes it's still the same.

---

your hips twitch, and your back arches, soft sweet moans falling from your lips. the friction is odd, but lord if it isn't intense, your pent up body relishing the feeling of whatever the fuck this is. if you were doubting that it was simon before, you fucking knew it was now. you whimper and your hips buck, a heat swirling in your lower stomach. you feel another vibration against you and your clit twitches, another whine leaving your throat.

---

he's never forgotten you or your body. he's never forgotten the memories he had when he was alive, and even though he can't taste you now he remembers it. sickeningly sweet, he remembers. like honey. "pretty pussy," he grumbles, more to himself since he knows you can't hear it. his tongue flicks against your clit again, relishing in the way it makes your back arch and your hole clench. neglected. he knows you haven't had any since he died. dammit he's made SURE you haven't. of course he can only control things within the bounds of this home, but he knows you prefer having sex in your home-- where you can control things. the setting, the ambiance. one thing he loved. you always controlled all of that, and all he had to do was love you. and if he knew anything, it was how to love you. he decides now to just use his tongue. he didn't want to overwhelm you.

---

you were already overwhelmed. your clit twitched again with each flick, your back arching further and your legs twitching as you got closer to your orgasm. you know, you never thought it was possible to get eaten out by a ghost, but here you were.

---

you mumble his name, and he's done for. his pace increases suddenly, and he grunts to himself at the way your body writhes beneath him. his grip on your thighs tightens, and he pins them down to keep you in place, opting to flick his tongue against your clit to just get you to the edge. when you start whimpering and wailing, he slows down-- smirking when you whimper at the loss. he keeps doing that for a few moments before speeding up again, flicking his tongue against your clit and swirling it at the same time, squeezing your thighs once or twice. ---

you fold your hand over your mouth, head falling back against the pillow beneath your head. you cum seconds after he speeds up again, gasping and writhing still. it comes over you in waves, vision dotted and mind hazy with pleasure. your orgasm ebbs, and his movements slow until you're panting. you barely notice when he detaches himself from you, the bed dipping a bit more as he leans over you and kisses your head. "still as pretty as ever. haven't changed a bit, my wife." --- ghost!simon who breaks all rules of the afterlife to get between his pretty wife's legs again.

[sanjiismystinkybaby]

💖Introduction 💖

To my non sharing Sanji doubles..

*non shares harder* >;)💞

No, but seriously block me. Please and thank you 😭

Here is my StrawPage

Banner art below is made by grubcakes

💖Hello I’m Moxie. You can also refer to me as Fork. (I use the name as my self insert cause I kin her) I’m an 18 year old bisexual lady thingy. I have a slight personality disorder so if you see me texting in a tone that is different or acting in a way that is different, it’s NORMAL. I just can’t really decide on my personality somedays XD.

💖This entire blog is a self ship blog. I kin my one piece self insert and will often “pretend” to be her and talk like I am her. I ship Moxie with Sanji from One Piece and consider myself a yumejoshi, selfshipper, oc x canoner and fictosexual. I’m in LOVE with Sanji and consider him my soulmate to put it simply. And yes, I am caught up on One Piece in case you’re asking.

💖My blog is 100% SFW! I don’t do NSFW! I’m too shy to post that stuff. Also I won’t be reblogging nsfw too! Minors of all ages you’re free to interact! Just don’t make any… sexual comments/jokes please and thank you. That’s my only rule! I prefer wholesome shit on my blog! 😤💞

💖Asks are open. I have a lot of lore of Sanji and my One Piece self insert. Keep in mind my One Piece self insert isn’t me irl but I do kin her. That's why I’m called Moxie.

💖 I’ll only follow back if you have a solid introduction posted. I need to see your f/o list first! I’d prefer to only have self shippers follow me but if you like my content hell idc what you are. I’m just grateful.🤣

💖Sanji is my only f/o and I’m madly in love with him. I’ve shipped with him since I was 8 with my self insert and as years passed I still did. (Obviously I had done a lot of work on my self insert over the years but shhhh) I loved him for more than half my life and I still love him too. I’ve loved him before One Piece became super popular in other countries so I consider myself a true One Piece fan and Sanji lover. Without Sanji I don’t think I’d still be alive, he saved my life, my little hero. :’D💞

💖 I’m autistic as absolute fuck and I LOVEEEEEEE giving people my love and support. I NEED to make others happy- y'all don’t realize! 😤💞

💖If you have a One Piece f/o or if you are just a casual self shipper or do oc x canon please interact with me! Seriously, it would make me so happy!!! I’d love to be your friend! And don’t worry about me not responding, I’ll fucking respond and I’ll respond amazingly too 😩💞. I’m an extrovert! I know… spooky… we don’t see these a lot online lmao.

💖My current hyper fixations are One Piece, The Golden Girls, the Sims 4, Bleach, LPS and morbidly obese animals

💖 I’m an artist, (not a really good one) and I do art trades and draw my self ship. Yes you can ask for a art trade and no I’m not picky on skill.

💖DNI: If you’re a Proshipper who supports incest or pedofillia or beastility. Sex worker, only fans person. If you’re a Minor who self ships with Sanji or simps for Sanji and posts nsfw content about him etc (Minors themselves can interact but not ones who lust after Sanji.) If you write sanji x reader fanfiction. If you constantly reblog Sanji x oc/self insert content or Sanji x Zoro, Sanji x Pudding and Sanji x Ace.

💖Policy on Doubles: Doubles? Yeah you can interact. Might not support your relationship but you can interact! If you’re comfortable with it give me a Sanji tag to block from your account if he’s not your main f/o. I am NON SHARING with Sanji. Oc x Canon with Sanji? Don’t wanna see it and will block on the spot if I come in contact with Oc x canon art of Sanji if I don’t know you. But if you want to support me you can because I do appreciate the support! (And hell, I’ll be willing to support your other ships. Just not the sanji one.) I just think I need Sanji more than anyone here. Literally he is the only thing keeping me going 😭

💖 Sanji and Moxies self ship tag name is Moxanji

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty one : te mirci't

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 9.0k

summary : reader does a lot of thinking, and a lot of expressing of said thoughts

warnings, etc. : language, angst, canon typical violence, smut smut smut smut, p in v smut, food play sort of kind of, din djarin nearly creams his pants over the concept of domesticity, sort of a dom/sub thing, switch!reader & switch!mando, din has a breeding kink and it's addressed, reader has like zero chill this chapter, dirty talk, men whimpering (hooray!), light bondage, use of handcuffs, unprotected sex

a/n : ik y'all are hype about breeding kink din but i'm gonna real quick say that i will not throw in like a surprise pregnancy in this fic, cause it hasn't been tagged with that thus far and sometimes it irks me when i'm knee deep in a fic and suddenly the reader is pregnant without warning and it wasn’t tagged,, so yeah. it would be different if i advertised this as a pregnancy fic from the get go but i didn't so i'm not gonna spring that on people. (reader could still potentially end up pregnant at the END of the fic (possibly maybe who knows) but there will not be any surprise pregnancy, sorry!) that's it lmao, just wanted to throw that out there.

“It means I love you.” 

You aren’t entirely sure how long you stare at him, looking rather silly with your jaw practically on the floor. 

How many times has he said it without you even knowing? How long has he loved you? Maker, your mind is racing as you try to recall when the first time he said it would have been.

You’ve already said it to him. 

Albeit you didn’t realize what you were saying but you’d said those words to him. And hearing you say them had worked him up so much that he’d fucked you like it was his last night alive. 

He doesn’t seem to have much to say now that he’s dropped that bomb on you. You just stare at each other in this blistering silence for an eternity. Until the smell of burning has you shooting out of bed, scrambling towards the oven as you grab the lone oven mit off the counter, removing the smoking baking trays quickly, propping open the single window above the sink and tossing the ruined cakes under the faucet.

“Kriff.” You lean up against the counter, staring at where he’s currently getting up from the bed to join you. Are you a terrible person if you just ignore it? Because currently the last thing you want to do is think about it. “I’m gonna start a new batch, I lost track of time with this one.” You whisper towards him, never actually meeting that thin black line of his helmet. 

“You don’t have to say it back.” He whispers back to you, taking a seat at the table. 

You know you don’t have to. 

Honestly the pressure of having to say it is the least of your worries. The most troubling part of this situation is the question that now plagues you which is, do you love him? 

You rinse out the last batch of batter from the bowl before starting a new one.

You’ve always been so hesitant with him. Even from the start. You wouldn’t let yourself think about him, then you wouldn’t let yourself feel for him, care for him, want him. At one point you wouldn’t even let yourself like him. 

So to think about if you love him? 

The only thing you’ve ever let yourself do is hate him. And you never even really did that. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He leans forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees. 

Shit. You’ve been quiet for too long.

“I’m fine, sorry, just… upset about the cakes.” You both know it’s a lie. But neither of you says a thing. He just nods. You work in silence, willing your mind to think of anything else as you scrape the burnt cake tin off into the sink before refilling it with the new batch of batter. As you slide the tin into the oven you turn, unable to face him you turn your gaze elsewhere, to the single shelf in his home. 

A few days ago when you were here it was covered in assorted pieces of metal and scrap. Now it’s mostly bare. In a desperate attempt to change the subject you walk over, picking up one of the few remaining scraps. 

“What happened to all your stuff? You hold a small metal ball between your fingers as he walks up behind you, resting his head on your shoulder as he leans down. You feel the chill of beskar against your skin. 

“I used it all.” He’s still being far too vague about all this and you frown, holding the ball up in front of his face. 

“You forgot this piece.” He takes it from you as you say it, you don’t remember him taking his gloves off but they are, his bare hands holding it like it’s a precious gemstone. 

“This isn’t a part of my secret project,” He murmurs, rolling the ball between his fingers. “this belonged to the kid.” 

You have to remind yourself not to pry, that you promised yourself you’d let him talk about it on his own. His free hand snakes around your waist as he stares longingly at the metal piece, you say nothing, giving him the option to go on if he wants. After a brief moment of pause, he continues. 

“I tried to buy him a proper toy. Just once. He used to play with this, I thought maybe he was just bored because we spent so much time on the Crest. On one of my jobs I stopped and got him this little stuffed frog toy.”

You think of the frog he picked up from the lake all those moons ago. A pang of sorrow in your chest.

Every time he talks about the kid it seems like he’s talking more to himself than to you, this time is no different. He adjusts himself, standing up straighter so his chin rests atop your head now. He sways you gently to a song that only he hears.

“He tried to eat the damn thing, I tried to explain that it wasn’t for eating but he didn’t seem to care. Once he realized I wasn’t gonna let him eat it he lost interest, threw it into the fresher and went off to find this again.” He sets the ball back onto the shelf and just holds you for a moment. Just when you’re about to reach down to touch the hand he’s resting on your stomach he speaks again, in a whisper, like he isn’t sure he wants you to hear what he’s saying. “I used to worry that he was bored. Spending so much time on the ship with just me, without any of the things a child usually grows up with.” His grip on your waist tightens. “I thought for the longest time that he’d be happier somewhere else. Now I wonder if maybe he was content with what we had.” 

The more you let him talk out his feelings the more you realize that deep down Din is one thing above all. 

Someone who doesn’t think he is deserving of love. 

You turn around in his grip so you’re facing him and don’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his waist, holding him tight. You might not be ready to tell him you love him but that doesn’t mean you can’t show him that he is cared for. He doesn’t move for a moment but eventually holds you back. 

He makes no effort to pull away so you don’t either. Staying like that until you have to get the cakes out of the oven before you burn another batch. He follows you in silence as you set the new batch on the table, he reaches for one and you smack his hand away. 

“You’re gonna burn your hand, stop that. And I still need to frost them.” 

You turn back to the book for the recipe, happy that the two of you seem to be in mutual agreement to not talk about the current situation. As you start pouring the sugar to make the icing you hear a hiss of air, on instinct you turn to face the noise, not realizing until it’s too late that you shouldn’t. 

You should feel regret.

But Maker, how could you. 

Your eyes fixed on the way he parts his plush lips to take the chunk of pastry he tore off into his mouth, his finger lingering on his bottom lip and that tongue. Darting out to lick his fingers clean. The way the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. You know you shouldn’t look, he’s got the helmet pulled up just enough that you can see the tip of his nose which means he doesn’t even know you’re looking, there’s metal between his eyes and you. You can’t, this is so bad, shit. You just keep finding reasons to not look away, especially now that he’s smiling. You always thought his smile would be condescending, maybe a triumphant smirk, but it’s so… dorky. He’s got such a dopey grin.

Stars, he’s got a dimple. 

Are you still breathing?   

And you can finally see the facial hair you’ve only ever felt brush up against you. Surprisingly well kept, with a few small bare patches. You want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss each one of them but you’re quickly reminded of how bad this entire situation is as you hastily turn back around. Stirring the bowl in front of you, acting as if nothing happened. Only a few seconds after you’re facing the counter again do you hear the airlock reseal. 

You hear a sharp inhale and a part of you worries he knows you accidentally looked but he hisses again before cursing.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” You can hear him breathing heavily through his mouth into the modulator.

Thank the gods.

“I warned you.” You chastise him, turning around and pouring a generous amount of the cinnamon sugar icing onto each of the cakes while they’re still hot so it absorbs into them. “These need to sit overnight in the conservator.” 

“Okay, should I put them in now or when I get back tonight?” 

You know what he’s really asking. 

He wants to know if he’ll be staying with you or coming home alone.

The answer is obvious to you as you nudge the conservator open with your foot, sliding the tins onto one of the shelves. 

“I’ll do this now since you won’t be around to. Should we go?” You slip your shoes back on, watching as a bit of tension leaves his shoulders. 

“Sure.”

★

It’s a quiet walk back but it isn’t really uncomfortable. You just want to get him back to your room, where he’ll hopefully help you forget about this whole mess. 

You waste no time when you get to your chambers. You drag him to the closet, struggling to remove his armor, carefully setting each piece on the floor while he simultaneously lifts your shirt up over your head. Once you have every piece of beskar removed, you find yourself tumbling to the floor as he practically tackles you into the blankets. Both of you fumble for the lamp until finally you manage to flip the switch and it’s like he can’t get the helmet off fast enough because in what feels like a single second, you’re shrouded in darkness, you hear the the sound of air, a thud onto the ground, and his lips are on yours. 

You’re waiting for something more to happen, he’d been so urgent just a moment ago but now that you’re here he’s just kissing you.  

Of course you aren’t complaining. Every kiss with him feels like a blessing from the Maker themself. You’re just a little surprised. 

You had sort of hoped he had plans to ravage you solely for the purpose of distracting you from the question, still searing your every thought, demanding your attention. But instead he kisses you one last time before laying atop your chest, arms wrapped around you. You think about teasing him but there’s something cathartic about this. His willingness to just be with you without searching for more. So you let him.

And when he inevitably falls asleep, his monstrous snores filling the small space, you’re left alone with your thoughts. 

Well, thought. 

Do you love him? 

Do you want to love him? 

Loving him means too much. 

You tangle your fingers in his curls, in an attempt to soothe yourself. 

Loving him is complicated. It means you’ll have to finally answer the rest of the questions you don’t want to so much as think about.

Kids? Marriage? Kodo? Any sort of future.

Loving him puts him at risk. 

He’s always been at risk. His choice to love you meant putting his life on the line. Everyday he wanted to be yours was a day that he could be dragged off by one of your husbands unlimited guard members and killed. 

Loving him means understanding that you’re on a clock. A clock to get off of Naboo as quickly as possible, to somewhere far away to hunker down. To hide from the inevitable onslaught of search parties that would come after a missing royal. 

They’d send bounty hunters.

Kodo doesn’t even like you, but if you ran off with the man he hired to protect you? He would stop at nothing to get you back. The thought of what he would do to Din when he inevitably found the two of you makes your blood run cold. 

But you need to push those thoughts away. Yes, they are important but they shouldn’t impact your feelings. Because at the end of the day you either love him or you don’t. 

And you can’t even seem to figure that out. 

You’ve never been in love before, you don’t really have a frame of reference. 

You’ve certainly never felt for anyone the way you feel for him. 

Is that love? 

If you weren’t already married would you have said it back?

You aren’t even really a wife at this point. 

You’re a prisoner. 

You aren’t sure when he woke up but he brings you back to reality with a kiss to your chest. 

“You should be asleep, princess.” His voice is gravely, still thick with exhaustion. You run your hands along his vast shoulders in an attempt to soothe him back to sleep. 

“So should you.” You whisper into the darkness, he hums softly in response. 

It goes quiet again. His arms tighten around you and you know he remains awake, every so often he’ll place a chaste kiss to your breast. 

Would it be cruel to bring it up again?

At this point he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest that you didn’t reciprocate the sentiment and you can’t keep fighting these battles alone. 

If you love each other, talking about these things is something you would do. 

It might be nice. To not be alone with these thoughts for once. 

“Din?” 

He hums again in response. You feel the scratch of his stubble against your chest as his head turns in your direction. 

You should let him sleep. Shut up and not bother him with this. 

“What does love mean to you?”

It’s such a corny question but you really are curious.

“What did you say?” For a moment you’re worried you’ve upset him but his tone makes you think he genuinely didn’t hear you. 

“What’s it like, to love someone?” 

He chuckles softly and a wave of relief washes over you. 

“That’s an awfully complicated question, cyare.”

“Okay, then, how did you know?” You purposefully avoid saying the words, “that you loved me.” 

“It sort of snuck up on me. It started my first week with you, when being with you started feeling less like a job and more like an honor.” 

Does he have to be so good with words? Even in this state, barely awake, he manages to be a goddamn poet. 

“Eventually it got to a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” He mumbles his words into your skin. 

“When was that?”

“When you gave me a birthday.” 

Right before he had ended things. 

You don’t have to ask to know now that that's why he did it. 

“And that was when you were sure?”

“Yes. That was when I knew I loved you.” 

If he’s upset about you not saying it back he doesn’t make it known, he says it so casually.

“What does it feel like?” You run your fingers along the scar on the back of his head. 

“It feels like being afraid. There is a certain vein of fear that I had never known prior to meeting the kid, when I los-“ He hesitates. “When he left, I didn’t think I’d ever feel that fear again.” He sighs. “When I met you I learned how to be afraid all over again.” 

You sort of understand that feeling.

You felt it when you thought Kodo knew. And you felt it when you imagined Kodo’s reaction to your hypothetical children with Din. 

You felt it just moments ago. When you asked yourself if you loved him. 

“It’s like all the air leaves the room, replaced with terror. That terror eats away at everything until there’s nothing left.”

All you can think of is the night you found him in the hallway, and you’re certain you’ve never felt that level of fear.

“It’s not all fear though. I assume it’s different for everyone but the fear is only a part of it. For me it mostly feels like devotion and temptation. I know what it is to be devoted, for decades I followed my creed without question, and when I finally did abandon it, it was a matter of life and death, fueled by that fear.”

He sounds half asleep as he says it, like he’s telling himself a bedtime story, and you don’t dare interrupt. 

“That’s how I feel about you, except in your case, nothing could make me question my devotion to you, not even a matter of life and death. And as far as temptation goes…” He laughs quietly to himself. “I was unfamiliar with that feeling before you.”

“Temptation?” You whisper to him.

“When will you understand what you are to me, sarad’ika?” He sits up a little, you can’t see him but you feel his nose bump against your jaw as he rests his face in the crook of your neck.

“I know how you feel about me, you tell me quite often.” You’re only half-joking.

“Not how I feel about you, what you are to me. You are so much more than the one I never meant to love, I swear you were created just to tempt me.” You let your hand rest on the nape of his neck as he absentmindedly brushes his lips up against your throat. “If you asked me to remove my helmet, I would.” He murmurs against your throat. 

That’s a rather serious claim.

“You could have asked me from the moment I met you. It took time for me to realize I loved you but I have always, been sworn to you.” His fingers trail up and down your torso. “From the moment I first saw you, when you tried to remove my helmet, I promised myself that if you ever tried again, that I wouldn’t stop you.

Maker. 

How the fuck do you respond to that?

“We can talk more in the morning. Get some sleep.” He kisses your temple and lays back down against your chest.

He can be annoyingly eloquent when he wants too. You can’t help but wish you were as capable of putting your feelings into words the way he does. Seriously, how are you supposed to top, “When I met you I learned how to be afraid all over again.” 

Maybe tomorrow you could try and show him how much he means to you. Since you can’t seem to find the right thing to say, and even if you could he’s already asleep again, snoring at an ungodly volume like he didn’t just profess his profound love to you.

But talking to him helped, from how he describes it, you might just love him too.

★

This morning is much more coordinated than your last. 

Din wakes you up before the girls arrive. You have plenty of time to pick out one of the simpler pink gowns in your collection, along with a matching pair of slippers. You leave him there with plenty of time to spare. 

The girls don’t question it this time either. Neither of them tries to go into the closet and they waste no time dressing you. Lysa finds you a nice pink nightie from the dresser but you honestly aren’t all that thrilled about it this time around.

It’s getting harder and harder to care about this. 

Being dressed up like a doll every day.

Din certainly doesn’t care about what you look like so why even bother at this point? You’re antsy to get back to him and you’re about to hastily thank and dismiss the girls as they finish but Elaine speaks first. 

“Princess, would you join me for tea this morning?” 

You have no logical reason to refuse and you do enjoy time spent with Elaine.

You just want to be with Din.

But you can’t tell her that. 

“Certainly, shall I meet you in the gardens again?” 

“I will see you there, my lady.” Both girls give you small bows before leaving. Only a few seconds after they’re gone the closet door opens and there stands your Mandalorian. He makes his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

“Shall I escort you to the gardens, my lady?” He leans down a bit so your eyes are level with the line of his visor.

“Lead the way.”

It’s a short walk and you’re once again surprised by how quickly Elaine has set things up, a table and chairs wait for you in the gazebo.

“Do you think you could find something to do for a few minutes on your own?” You say quietly enough that you know only he can hear it as you approach. 

He doesn’t respond but as you step into the gazebo he doesn’t follow you in, once you’re seated he walks off into the garden. 

“Seems like things are better between the two of you?” She pours you a cup, making it the way you like it before handing you the saucer. 

“Much better.” You smile as you take a sip. 

“May I speak freely ma’am?” She sets her cup down and crosses her arms, staring at you. Her tone has gotten so serious so suddenly you’re a bit stunned. 

“Of course.” 

“Lysa and I stopped coming to help you undress in the evenings many moons ago, we stopped waiting for you to summon us.” 

What a strange thing to say. 

“Okay?” Is all you can manage, still unsure as to what she could possibly mean by that statement. 

“Well, my lady, we just assumed you didn’t need the help anymore…” She stares at you expectantly but you’re still giving her a confused look. “You know…” Her eyebrows are raised but you just shake your head slowly, giving her a blank stare. “With getting undressed.”

Oh.

Oh.

Not much you can really say about that, she’s right, and you hadn’t even noticed because someone else was undressing you. Still, she can’t expect you to outright admit that. 

“I don’t need you to say a word, my lady, I just needed to talk to you, to warn you.” Something about her tone makes you shiver, even out here in the sun. 

“About?” 

“You’ve been reckless, princess.” You set your cup down. 

“Spit it out Elaine, you’re making me nervous.” You laugh anxiously but her expression remains stern.

“Kodo won’t take your absence from dinner lightly. And you’ve been too blatant about your friendship with the Mandalorian. You should act with more caution.” 

Well, you had wanted her to be blunt, you can’t be too shocked about that. 

“He is not a man who takes kindly to disrespect. He will retaliate if you aren’t careful, that’s all.” You nod as she takes a sip of her tea.

That’s all she says on the subject, quickly moving on to another topic.

Her warning was genuine and you’re thankful for it but you push it from your mind. You will right this wrong and attend dinner with Kodo this week.

★

Tea is short after that.

You aren’t in the mood for small talk anymore, you just want to spend the rest of the day with Din.

You whisper a genuine thanks to her before she departs, and you rush over to where he stands in the flowers.

“Cabin?” He asks. Thankfully he doesn’t risk holding your hand in broad daylight but he lets his knuckles brush against yours. 

“Cabin.” You follow him towards the pond and once you’re close enough he scoops you up into his arms to keep you out of the water. “Din! What if someone sees?” You whisper yell at him, eyes scanning the vacant gardens. 

“This isn’t any less damning than you walking in on your own. Besides, no one’s around, promise.” He pushes open the door before setting you down, locking up behind the two of you. “I’ve lived here for long enough to know that nobody comes out this far except us. Now, what do you want for the rest of the day?” He kicks off his boots and you set your slippers next to them.

It’s past noon at this point, you have nothing planned. 

“Do you want to just stay here? I think today I just want to stay here.” You walk over to the bed, lifting your skirt and taking a seat. 

“Works for me, I’m going to get some chores done if you don’t mind.” He removes his gloves, tossing them on the table before kneeling beside the dresser. 

“I don’t mind at all.” You scoot back a bit to rest against the wall, you’re actually quite curious to see what he’ll do, and you need time to think of how you’re going to show him how much he means to you. 

You watch as he takes out different weapons and tech that you don’t recognize. He tosses his gloves to the side and starts methodically cleaning every item. 

You’re sort of hypnotized by his attention to detail, it lets you think.

What does he like? 

Green, you, the kid, classic ships. 

None of those things can really show him how much he means to you though. 

He’s setting different things aside as he finishes any maintenance required, every so often he looks up at you before returning to his work. You feel a little useless just sitting here so you get up to take the cakes out of the conservator. 

Suddenly you have his attention. 

You don’t dare say a word, letting him just observe in peace. He drops whatever he’s working on, you don’t look but you can feel his visor trained on you. 

You take the tins out, setting them on the table before finding a dull knife. Each cake is small enough that you can fit your hands around each tin if you hold your fingers in the shape of a circle. You carve each cake out of its tin and he watches you intently the entire time, you can see him in your peripherals. 

So he likes… watching you do a shitty job at taking cakes out of tins?

It’s crass but you go through the list of things that have worked him up before. Things you’ve said to get him to give you what you want during sex. 

Two instances come to mind. 

The time you unknowingly said I love you.

And then last night, when you told him he could finish inside you.

And now? Your head tilts up just in time to watch him adjust himself in his trousers before sheepishly tuning back to his work when you catch him watching you. It takes a second but eventually things start to click.

He likes watching you look at home in his cabin. He likes the intimate feeling of a simple life. Watching you bake, saying I love you, having kids. 

Things a normal couple might do. 

He tosses something up onto the bed, you stare at it for a moment as he starts putting other things back into the dresser.

Handcuffs. 

Thick, padded, and metal. 

You know he intends on using them on you but you act fast, hurrying over to him, taking his hand. 

“What are you doing mesh’la?” He chuckles as you sit him down on the bed.

This is gonna be a shot in the dark, but if you’re confident enough, (and right) it’ll be worth it.

“Just, let me take care of you.” 

“You already take care of me.” He insists, starting to get up but you firmly plant your hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down. Your plan is rapidly forming in your mind.

“I mean it, now stay put.” He sighs loudly but nods, tilting his head to the side in confusion. No sense in being coy, might as well be clear with your intentions to see if he’s actually into it. “Don’t be a baby, I know you get off on this kind of thing.” The moment you say it he scoffs but you’re already across the room, taking one of the little cakes and putting it onto a plate. 

“Excuse me?” “His voice is already terribly defensive but you just laugh it off. 

“You’re not the only one who can make observations. You think I didn’t notice the way your tone switched when I offered to bake for you?” He starts to argue but you cut him off. “And I’m definitely not going to ignore how quickly you came when I told you you could finish inside of me.” That surprisingly shuts him up. This might actually be the only time you’ve caught him so off guard that he doesn’t have a response. 

You bring the plate over to the bed, setting it on his nightstand.

“You like domesticity.” You lean in to whisper to him. “You want me to take care of you, don’t you Mr. Tough Mandalorian?” You can’t gauge his reaction because of the helmet but you can gauge the tent in his pants perfectly fine. 

“Djarin.” He certainly doesn’t sound stern now. 

“Djarin?”

“Din Djarin.” You hadn’t even realized until just now that you didn’t know his last name. 

You straddle one of his thighs, spreading his legs with your knees.

“Well then, let me take care of you, Din Djarin.” You like the way his name feels in your mouth and based on the way his cock twitches against your leg you’d reckon he does too. 

He’s always been so open with you and you’ve always kept him at a distance. 

Right here right now, if you weren’t dealing with the worst possible circumstances (your husband), you know that you’d tell him you love him, that you ache for him, that you know fear because of him. You know you love him. And you’re pretty sure he knows it too.

You just aren’t ready to say it. 

So you’ll have to show it. (And maybe say a few things that you are ready to say.) 

You love each other, at the end of the day you can’t keep censoring yourself when you think about him, he doesn’t deserve that. 

You want to show him what he deserves. 

You reach behind him and grab the cuffs. As you do his hands wrap around you to tug at your corset strings, an act that he’s getting rather good at. 

“You gonna put those on for me, mesh’la?” He drawls. Once he’s loosened your corset enough so that you’ll be able slip out of it you lean back again.

“No.” You grin at him and he immediately shakes his head. 

“Absolutely not.” He says the moment you start smiling.

“You’re always in charge, just let me be in charge, I’m doing this for you.” You grab one of his wrists but he easily pulls it away. 

“You were in charge last time.”

True, but irrelevant.

“Do you love me?” You stick your bottom lip out a little. 

“You’re terrible.” 

“I know.” But it works, because when you grab his wrist again he doesn’t pull away. 

“You know I can get out of these right? Very easily.” He says, watching you close the first cuff around his wrist, removing the belt around his torso and the one around his waist. 

“I know that too, but you love me, so you’re going to leave them on until I take them off.

“This feels less like you’re taking care of me and more like I’m your prisoner.” He mumbles. 

“Oh hush, you’d be happy either way.” Once again he seems at a loss for words as you cuff his other wrist, he sets his hands in his lap. You smooth out the fabric of his cowl before carefully removing it, folding it and walking it over to the table and setting it down. “I’ll make you a deal.” You say, turning back to face him. “If you don’t like it then I will stop and we can do this your way. But if you don’t then I will assume I was right, and you do want me to take care of you.” You straddle his thigh again and play with one of the releases on his chest plate.

“You’re being purposefully vague. What does taking care of me entail?” The impatience on his voice trails off as you start releasing his chestplate, finding the little locks, undoing them one by one. 

“Well… I just think that you like certain things, and I think you’re too embarrassed to admit it.”

“What things?” 

You click the last release and remove his chest plate, walking over to the dresser to set it down carefully before returning.

“You like that I baked for you.” You remove his gauntlets, setting them on his nightstand.

“Who wouldn’t like that?” You swear you almost hear him stutter. 

“Oh but I think you really like it. Because you know I did it just for you.” You remove his pauldrons and kneel between his legs to remove the pieces of armor on his thighs. “You like when I hold you, you like seeing me here, in your home, in your bed.” You slide his remaining armor down his legs, setting them aside before standing again and spreading his thighs with your knees to slot yourself between them, your hands grip the edges of his helmet. 

“Can I?” You whisper. 

After a moment's hesitation he nods. 

Your fingers snap the airlocks and you gently lift. 

Before closing your eyes you allow yourself one peek. 

You’re graced with a bashful smile, and you know that it’s okay, so you squeeze your eyes shut and completely remove the helmet, setting it on the bed beside him. Almost as if on instinct he leans forward and you feel his lips on yours as you gently push him back. 

“Let me do it, Din.” You laugh softly. “You don’t have to do everything.” You lean forward this time, hands on either side of his face, running your tongue over that bottom lip you wish you could see. “I’m going to take my dress off.” You mumble into his mouth before pulling back, you turn around and quickly slide your gown down your body, you grab the plate on his bedside table before closing your eyes and turning back around. His restrained hands play with the front of your nightie. 

“What are you-” His unfiltered voice is like warm honey, deep and raw, but you silence it by putting two fingers from your freehand to where you assume his mouth is. He starts to speak again so you gingerly slide your thumb between his lips and you hear any more questions he might have flicker out. 

“Can you go more than five minutes without asking me a question?” The moment you say it his lips purse like he’s going to ask again, you place your thumb over his tongue. Once you’re certain he isn’t going to interrupt your actions again you remove your hand from his face and tear a chunk of the cake off of the plate. “Open.” You laugh softly as you bring your hand towards his mouth, he immediately starts to protest again but you take the opportunity to stuff the pastry into his mouth, you get lucky and actually manage to get it in on the first try. 

If you’re being honest, you aren’t completely sure if this is going to work. You’re still acting on a hunch. A very presumptuous hunch, that deep down he wants nothing more than a quiet, soft life. 

A home. 

Unless of course you’re wrong. In that case you’re going to be rather embarrassed. Which is starting to be a worry as you realize he isn’t moving, two of your fingers just barely past his lips, he still hasn’t moved and you fell you nerves starting to get the best of you, just as you’re about to withdrawal and apologize for the entire silly affair, his lips close around your fingers. You can’t help but gasp at the feeling, accidentally taking a step back in surprise.    

His fingers immediately grasp at what fabric they can on your undergarments, trying to pull you closer again. You’re about to say something smug, along the lines of “I told you so.” But you’re stopped dead in your tracks.

Because Maker, he whimpers. 

You let him tug you back between his legs. The cold metal of the cuffs brushes against your thighs. 

You reach down and tear off another chunk of the cake, his bound hands guide you back to his mouth, which you're shocked to find is still open as you gently feed him. This time you don't flinch back, his lips close around your fingers and his tongue licks them clean.

This is the temptation he spoke of. 

You respect his creed. You’ve sort of taken your own creed, a vow to yourself not to look. But right now it takes all of your restraint to not look. Nothing could possibly make you happier than knowing what he must look like right now, lips wrapped around your fingers, trying to pull you closer. 

But just like him, you resist those temptations, finally pulling your hand away. 

“I told you I’d take care of you.” You whisper, a slight teasing edge to your voice.

“You’re a strange woman, sarad’ika.” He whispers back.

“So you don’t like this?” You tear off a piece for yourself, popping it into your mouth, feeling the icing coat your tongue. You bask in his silence before picking up the remaining pastry, gently feeding him, tossing the plate blindly onto the bed.

The only answer you need to your question is the way his tongue drags across your palm when he’s finished, you waste no time after that to push him down into the mattress. Letting your lips find his.

His mouth tastes just like it did the first time you kissed.

Vanilla. 

His arms go over your head, trapping you in his embrace. 

“Tell me I was right.” You pull back from him, grinning.

“I wouldn’t exactly go so far as to say that you were right.” His mouth latches to your chin, peppering a trail of kisses back up to your lips but you pull further back, as far as his arms will let you, eyes still shut.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right? Because about thirty seconds ago you were quite literally eating out of the palm of my hand.” He continues trying to kiss you to silence you but you keep turning your head to the side, he settles on your jaw eventually. 

“That doesn’t prove anything, I’ve barely eaten anything today, maybe I was just hungry.” He mumbles against your skin. 

“Mhmm, sure. Are you sure you don’t like playing house? I think you like imagining me as Mrs. Djarin.”

Whoops. Where the hell did that come from? 

“Don’t say that.” His voice isn’t playful anymore as he sits up, keeping you in his lap. 

“Kriff, I’m sorry Din, that was too fa-” You hear a metal thud behind you on the floor and his hands are no longer cuffed, they hold your waist now. 

“If you don’t mean it, don't joke about that.” His breath is hot on your face and his grip on you tightens. 

If you don’t mean it. 

So you were right. 

Your mind screams at you to be rational. You have a husband, there are a million reasons to apologize and to move on from this. 

Stop using the husband that was forced upon you as an excuse.

You can’t keep holding back when it comes to Din. It isn’t fair to him. Not when he gives you everything. 

“If I do mean it, can I joke about it?” Your voice is the quietest it’s been all day. 

He takes your hands and brings them up to his face, so you can feel him nod. 

“I’ll keep joking about it if you tell me I’m right. I’ll joke all night long.” You laugh a little as he brings one of your hands to his mouth so he can kiss your wrist. 

“You’re right.”

You can’t help yourself.

“About?” 

“I like this.” He drags his lips down your arm before dropping it. “I like when you take care of me.” 

“Turn the lights off.” He doesn’t hesitate once you say it, the curtains are all already closed 

Once the lights are off he flips you onto your back, you hear everything on the bed clatter to the floor as he tosses it aside.

His bed is lower than yours so his hands grab you by your hips, lifting your bottom half into the air a little, making you squeak in surprise. 

“Tell me another joke.” He says under his breath as he spreads your legs so he can grind his still clothed erection against you. 

“I thought you were going to let me take care of you?” You scoff at him, hearing his zipper.

“I am,” You gasp as he drops you back down onto the mattress, climbing on top of you. “I’m letting you tell me jokes.” You can practically hear his grin as he guides the blunt head of his cock into your folds. Lazily rubbing it against your clit and leaning down to whisper to you. “You started this with all your talk, is that all it was? Talk? I thought you said you meant it?”  

You’re trying to remember how he got the upperhand so quickly but it’s hard to concentrate when he keeps nudging himself against your most sensitive spot.

Everything always happens so fast with him, just once you’d like to turn things around on him and have it work.

“I-I meant it.” Is all you really manage to get out, he brings his cock down a bit to tease your entrance, never actually pushing in. His voice has that condescending tone to it that tells you he’s willing to play this game for a while and you hadn’t really factored in just how aroused you’d get during your display a few minutes ago. You’re soaked and there’s a good chance he’s going to draw this out in retaliation. He swipes his tip back up to your clit, the both of you hiss in unison. 

You still have one ace up your sleeve as you recall your conversation from last night. 

“So you liked one of my offers?” 

“I might have been interested in one of them”

One thing you know he wants. 

“Come on, sarad’ika. Where are your jokes?” He chuckles against your skin as he kisses your shoulder. 

“I was just trying to think of a baking joke. Can you give me a second?” You gasp out as his free hand reaches underneath you to squeeze your ass before coming up to rest on your hip. 

“I know you can do better than a baking joke.” You can feel him grin against you now, his teeth lightly graze your shoulder.

“It’s a shame, you would have liked it.” He goes back to teasing your entrance, pressing himself into you just enough to make you squirm but not enough to actually be inside you. You try to shift your hips downwards but his hand keeps you pinned in place. 

“I liked your jokes about Mrs. Djarin.” 

It’s now or never.

“Well you liked my cooking as well, so I thought I’d make a joke about a bun in the oven, you’d like that wouldn’t you? Filling me u-”

His hips buck forward and his grip on you tightens to the point of a sharp pain. To seemingly both of your surprises, in an instant he’s buried nearly to the hilt in your heat. 

“Maker, Din!” You’re gonna have a brand new set of bruises tomorrow. 

“Sorry! I, fuck- sorry.” He’s grunting in your ear, not bothering with your shoulder anymore, burying his face into the pillow next to your head. 

“Dank farrik, Din…” You’re reeling from the sudden motion, your head tilted back into the mattress. You need to catch your breath but the muffled groans coming from him distract you. The sting from the sudden stretch you're experiencing is quickly fading and you bring your hands up to his head, one resting in his hair and the other at the nape of his neck. 

He wanted to make this a game so you’re going to play, and you’re going to win.

You’re still panting a little as you turn your head to the side so you can whisper into his ear. 

“Stars Din, it’s that easy to get you worked up, huh?” His breathing is starting to level out, his grip on you lightens up. “I thought I was easy to rile up but look at you, all this just at the thought of a bun in the oven.” 

He isn’t making noise anymore, he’s still against you, listening intently as you run a soothing hand down his spine and back up again. 

“I can’t imagine what you’re going to be like when you actually get me pregnant.” 

You’re surprised by your own words, like your brain is on auto-pilot and you can’t filter yourself but he fucking whines so you don’t care in the slightest. High pitched and needy, muffled by the pillow. His hips start slowly rocking into you and you bite back your moan, wanting to maintain your advantage. 

You tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling his head out of the pillow, savoring the whimper that comes from his as you do.

“Oh come on, you can’t even  handle the thought of it?” You breathe out the words and his head falls downwards as you release him, he bites your shoulder. “What does it for you?” He unclenches his jaw, starting to bury his face back into the pillow but you pull him back up again.

“Is it just the idea of finishing in me?” 

He doesn’t answer, to be fair you’re barely holding it together either at this point.

“Or do you just want everyone to know I’m yours? Want everyone to see that you knocked me up?”  

You get your answer with that because he’s trying to bury his face back into the pillow. A low wail leaves his lips as he frantically ruts into you. How quickly everything’s escalated has you hurtling towards your climax and you can tell by the desperate whine that leaves his lips as he presses them into your collar bone that he won’t be far behind. 

“I know you can do better than that, Din.” You mock his tone from earlier but he’s unfazed, pounding into you until finally you can’t tease him anymore because he’s reduced you to gasps and moans.

It doesn’t take long after that. 

One after the other.

You first, when his hand travels downwards, it takes only a few precise circles rubbed into your clit and your grip tightens in his hair, your walls flutter around him.

Just like that he’s going over the edge with you.

He pulls out, finishing on your stomach. 

You shouldn’t feel upset but there's the tiniest bit of disappointment as you feel his cum against your skin. 

He collapses onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I love you.” He presses a kiss into your hair. 

“I know.” 

★

You sit in the quiet dark for a long while, until finally, you have to ask.

“Do you actually want kids someday?” Your voice breaks the silence of the pitch-black room. “Little Djarin’s running around?” 

He rolls over so he’s hovering above you now.

“Are you trying to start round two?” He chuckles, resting his forehead against yours, your nose bumps against his. “I’ll need a few more minutes before I can go again, sarad, but I can keep you occupied until then.” He kisses you quickly, already starting to move his mouth south but you stop him. 

It’s so effortless right now. To be happy with him, in the darkness, pushing away thoughts of royal responsibilities. Letting yourself be with just Din, even if it’s brief. 

“I’ll take that as a yes?” You ask.

“Yes. Someday.” He kisses your sternum, laying down on your chest.

“With me?” 

“No, with Elaine.” You smack the back of his head when he says it, he laughs against your skin. “Yes, with you.” 

You let him lay on top of you as you nod to yourself. 

“Is it weird that everytime we have sex it turns into a competition?” He starts to laugh once more as you say it.

“It’s weird that you keep losing.” 

You smack him again.

★

Your peaceful break from reality is brief, as always, as you sit up. 

“We have to go. I can’t be out all night.” The last thing you want to do is return to your room right now, you want to stay here, the cabin feels more like home than any room in the castle ever has. 

He seems as unhappy with this as you are. The two of you dress in silence once he flicks the lamp back on, you turn around until you hear him reattach his helmet. 

You hold his hand on the walk back. You don’t have much to say right now, you’re certain at this point that you’ve made it clear that you love him.

That you just aren’t ready to say it. 

And he doesn’t seem to mind. 

You’re ready to just sleep. Your blanket nest seems more and more inviting the closer you get to the castle. 

The two of you sneak in through the back entrance and as always the castle is quiet at night. You keep your hand in his as you make your way up the steps. 

It isn’t until you get to the hallway where your chambers are located that you hear it. 

A persistent banging sound and someone yelling incomprehensibly. 

Din immediately drops your hand. 

Neither of you speaks as you walk but he shifts himself so he’s walking ahead of you, as you get closer you recognize the distinct, nasally voice. 

In the dim light of the hall you see Kodo, banging on your bedroom door.

“Wife, come now, you can’t ignore me, I’m your husband.” He hisses, you can smell the alcohol on him from here.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Kodo, are you okay?” You plaster on a faux look of concern as you approach, Din tries to put his hand up to stop you but you ignore it. 

He turns to stare at you, his clothes are askew and he isn’t even wearing his crown. 

“Wife! Where have you been?” He slurs, leaning in for a kiss that you sidestep, he doesn’t seem bothered by your rejection. 

“I went on a walk.” You answer quickly and he takes hold of your waist, you try not to look too repulsed.

“You skipped dinner yesterday, dear wife.” He teeters a bit, leaning towards you as you again try to avoid his kiss but this time he holds you firmly in place, it’s sloppy and you have to wipe a bit of spit from your face after.  

“I did, I wasn’t feeling well.” Your voice is getting smaller and smaller as you feel fear bubbling in your chest.

“Where are your guards?” There’s no respect in Din’s voice, no “your highness” or “your grace.” No one speaks to Kodo that way, not even you, but he’s too drunk to even notice. 

“I dismissed them, as is customary when one is visiting his bride’s chambers.” Kodo lurches forward, his hands sloppily grope the fabric of your skirt and you make an audible groan of discomfort. 

“We should get you back to your own chambers, come now dear husband.” You try to sound patient, you know he’s capable of violence and you don’t want to push him in this state.

“Why would we do that, wife? Come now, tonight I shall join you in bed. I missed you last night.” He hisses the words and you know he didn’t miss you in the slightest, this is a punishment.

This is what you get for disobeying. 

For skipping your dinner with him.

This is the inevitable thing that has made you unable to tell Din you love him. This looming promise of Kodo.

There’s nothing you could possibly do right now to escape the fate before you. The fear you feel right now is certainly not the fear of love that Din described to you. 

But that quickly changes.

You don’t get a chance to react as Din takes a step between you and Kodo, he doesn’t even wind up, he just drives his fist forward and you hear the sickening crunch of your husband's nose just before he slumps to the floor. 

As you stare at Din, you know your fear has changed. His shoulders heaving, his rage fills the corridor as you listen to his ragged breaths through the modulator. He turns around to face you, but you just stare at his hand, where the evidence of this potentially deadly mistake is dripping down his fingertips. You have never been more terrified for another person's life the way you are right now for Din. 

You’re mesmerized by the little speckles of your husband's blood, a stark contrast to the yellow fingertips of his gloves.

And suddenly it feels like all the air leaves the corridor as you finally look into his visor, you don’t see Din though, all you see is what they’re going to do to him for this.

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[creatingblackcharacters]

Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).

1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.

Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.

So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*

Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.

We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?

2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.

If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"

Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.

I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.

Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"

As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.

If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?

3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.

Thank you!

Hm. And you're welcome

[trippiexlove]

Serendipity - Ch.8

story master list

Druitt POV

I was currently in the locker room changing into my gear. Tonight I had a match against Raquel with my title on the line. 

I was lacing my boots while talking with Bianca & Jade.

"Y'all ready for your tag match tonight" I asked as I rubbed some lotion on my arms.

"You know it, Chelsea & Piper about to get this work" Jade said high-fiving Bianca. 

"They better hold on to those belts tight, cause we're coming for them"

I laughed at them, putting the final touches on my gear.

(ignore the fact it says Chelsea Green)

I heard my phone ding, picking it up and seeing I had a text from Jey 

Main Event 💙 : "Come meet me at our spot"

"omw ☺️" 

I turned my attention to Bi and Jade, "I will be right back ladies, meet in catering?"

"yeah we'll see you there" I nodded as I walked out the room quickly. 

After a couple minutes of walking, I finally made it to Jey & I secret spot. When I turned the corner he was standing there in his ring gear, and his new merch shirt cut into his usual crop top. 

"Hey main event" I walked up and he grabbed me into a hug, his hands rather low. 

"Hey beautiful, I missed you" I laughed and pulled away.

"Boy its only been a day"

"It felt longer than that for me," I shook my head at him "You look good though ma" he looked me up and down while biting his lips. That's when I noticed he had his grillz in. 

"Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself, I like the new shirt" I admired the the different prints on his shirt, spelling out MAIN EVENT. 

"Thanks ma, its been pretty cool getting my own merch"

"I am going to have to get me a shirt" 

"I got you, but I just wanted to see you before our matches tonight" 

"Go out there and kill it Main Event" 

We did our handshake, ending with him pulling me in for a quick kiss. 

"I'll see you later?" He gave me a questioning look. 

"I'll give you my room number" I winked at him as I walked away. Heading to hair and makeup. It didn't take long and by the time I was done, it was time for my match. 

I made it to Gorilla right as Raquel music started playing. I hyped myself up, quickly getting into character. 

I heard the beginning of my music and quickly got in place. I did my entrance, slapping the hands of fans as I made my way down the ramp. 

I hopped in the ring raising my title, as the crowd cheered me on. I handed the title to the ref getting into a corner hyping myself up. 

ding. ding. ding.

As soon as the bell rang, we locked up. I quickly got the upper hand and drove Raquel into the turn buckle.

She slid down as I took ahold of the ropes and began to send kicks to her mid section. 

"1 .... 2 .... 3 .... Alright Rhyan!" I felt the ref pull at my arm. I quickly snatched my arm back.

"I have until 5!" as I turned around, Raquel quickly grabbed my arm and swung me into the corner, sending kicks to my mid section. 

*End of Match*

Raquel had rolled out the ring, after giving her a clothesline, and was facing the announce table. Before I could make my way over to her, the ref stopped me.

"What are you doing? Get out the way!" 

"You need to stay in the ring!" 

I heard the crowd start getting louder, and I seen in a flash Raquel being dropped on the outside of the ring. 

The ref finally got out of my way and I grabbed Raquel pulling her back into the ring. 

Raquel stumbled around a little bit, until I ran, putting my knees into her back, rolling us over and hooking my hands under her chin, pulling her up applying pressure on her back. 

Raquel quickly tapped and I threw her down, smiling, I stood up breathing hard. I snatched the title away from the ref as I lifted it up in the air. 

I soon felt a presence beside me, I looked and saw a returning Nia Jax. I could hear Michael Cole on commentator now.

"The irresistible force meets the most dominant woman! This stare down will be legendary"

We starred at each other, both walking up to each other slowly.

"This is what you want huh?!" I lifted the title between us "No one can take this awa-" She sudden headbutts me and I immediately fall to the ground with my head ringing. 

I felt her grab me and lay me in-between the bottom ropes. She executed a leg drop on the back of my head and at this point I am seeing triple. 

She drags me over to the corner, goes to the second rope and drops down on my chest, and at that moment I am done. The last thing I hear are the bunch of ref's and officials surrounding me. 

"Rhyan, Rhyan can you hear me" 

"Rhyan stay with us"

"Get her on the stretcher, quick!" 

After feeling myself getting lifted onto the stretcher, I completely passed out. 

Jey POV

I quickly rushed through the halls, my adrenaline running through blood trying to find Druitt. 

I quickly made it to the trainers area, finding Jade, Bianca and the Street Profits there. 

"Where is she?" Jade looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"They just loaded her on the ambulance and took her to the hospital" 

"What hospital? I got to get there"

Bianca stopped me before I walked off "Are you crazy? you have a whole main event match, you can't leave" 

"I don't care about none of that, I got to make sure she's ok" 

"I am sure she will appreciate that, but we will keep you updated, you need to go clear your head and get ready for your match" 

I sighed and walked away. I made it back to my locker room when I heard my phone ring. 

I saw it was Jon and answered it. 

"Aye is Druitt alright?"

"Man, I don't know, as soon as I got to the trainers room they already took her to the hospital"

"Damn man, I hope she alright, what you about you, are you good?"

"I'm trying to clear my head before I go out there tonight, Bianca just told me to chill and she will update me when she can"

"Yeah that's your best bet, go out there, handle your business, and just update me tomorrow when you can"

"got you twin, talk to you later"

"later" 

I quickly hung up and leaned my head down. After a few minutes I felt better, heading to the gorilla getting ready. 

As soon as my music hit I was in the zone. 

*After the show*

After winning my match, I quickly made my way backstage to my locker room. I quickly freshened up and headed out. 

I seen Jade and quickly made my way towards her, "Hey what hospital she at?"

"She's back at her hotel now" she took out a piece of paper and pen and wrote something down and handed it to me "This is her room number and what floor she is on"

"Thanks, I owe you one" I quickly made it my rental car and made my way to the hotel, getting there in no time. 

I walked through the doors and quickly made my way up the elevator. 

I found her room and knocked. She opened the door a few seconds later. 

"Hey beautiful" 

"Hey Main Event, what you doing here?"

"You know I had to come check up on you" I pulled her into a light hug.

"How sweet of you, you didn't have to do that"

"I wanted to come as soon as I heard you were here, but Bianca told me you would rather me not miss my match"

"She's right, don't miss it because of me, I'm fine"

"Yeah now you are, that was scary to watch"

"It looked worse than it actually is"

"So what's the verdict?" I slid in the bed beside her. 

"Well, I got a concussion, have to go see the trainer this weekend, but most likely will be out for a couple weeks"

"I am so sorry for that, if I could get Nia myself I would, matter fact I could call up Tamina"

"No, don't call Tamina" she laughed "it's ok, when I get back she got hell to pay"

"Hell yeah she does" 

We spent the rest of the time watching shows on the TV, until we both fell asleep. 

*Next Morning*

We were both up, gathering our stuff since both of our flights leave soon. We ended up riding together to the airport, quickly making it through TSA. 

We were walking together until she stopped and turned towards me "My gate is the other way so I guess this is where we have to part" she gave me sad puppy dog eyes. 

"Don't give me them eyes, this won't be forever, think of it as a two week vacation" 

"I know, I will just be bored at home with nothing to do"

"I'm sure Trin will come see you, plus I got some time off next week, I'll come through"

She smiled as I said that "Would you really?"

"You know I will" I pulled her into a hug, lingering a little bit "Plus you get to watch your favorite wrestler on TV"

"OMG Dwayne is coming back?!" She pulled away looking all shocked, then busted out laughing looking at my face.

"Girl don't play with me"

"I'm just kidding, I'll be watching you Main Event"

"You lucky we in the middle of the airport right now" I shook my head, getting the thoughts out.

"Mhmmm, text me when you land"

"You the same ma" I gave her another hug as we parted ways. 

AHHH here's the next chapter!

If you want to be added to the tag list please comment below!

Please remember to like, reblog and comment!

tag list:

@xbriexx , @tribalchief2112 , @mindairy , @yana3sworld

[wyked-ao3]

Hellooooooooooo my dear ,

I'd like to know what are the inspirations for TPKODR.

I know that is a big project and something that you had in mind for several years.

What was for you the first idea, input, the origin of it?

If there is one, or multiple ones

Thank you!!

so I suppose I'll go more in depth this time...

The pirate's cursed god series (TPCG) started at least to me as a fantasy world which is why the fae might be just a little more developed lore wise than the pirates...at times.

TPKODR was the missing link of how to start it all—so I was not tossing people into the deep end of the lore.

My fascination with mythology and pirates is probably what inspired most of it that didn't come to me in nightmares and or odd dreams caused by fevers...

The spirit fae and the gods were the first to be created in a way...then came alo g the earth and fire fae...air and water were the last to be made really culturally wise.

What exactly was the first idea...of the series well it's been scrapped as it didn't work so well with everything else going on and that was the tree people being a more active participant of the story. Yeah I couldn't figure out how to blend the lore and that smoothly without throwing a it's magic with no explanation so it was the first part to be erased as I wrote the first book.. eventually y'all will get to meet a few but they don't like to wander to far from the places they live.

Braith, Jade, Adoh, Solace and Kieran (some were recently named) were my first OC's to come to me a bit over seven years ago...but some of the lore was created well before that lol.

the shadow realm was the next part crafted along with the swords.. and then the crafting of my own twist on the Davy Jones lore.

A lot of the lore was crafted when I was in a mythology phase (I haven't left that one btw) but sometimes it will have symbolism that has to do with trees or fae or herbology....

I hope that answered your ask and here is a bonus answer

What inspired me to write my original story versus just letting the story remain in my head to be tweaked to death when I was bored or trying to go to sleep.....well that would be the friends I made while writing fanfiction... You @gioiaalbanoart as well as @lillybaaaka and @the-golden-comet along with several others who will be acknowledged in the dedication... Y'all inspired me to give it a try— especially when y'all were actually interested in the few plot points I mentioned ....y'all were kind and supportive even when it was some subpar fanfiction that I was writing and each of you have taught me something different that has helped pave the way. 🫂

So In a way the fanfiction writing led to this ... It taught me a lot even if I'm still pretty far from good especially with run on and fragmented sentences and I still probably overuse dialogue tags (I have acknowledged that's a weak point for me)

But we each have our own journey and process to writing and I think all author's are learning something new as the go.

A special thanks to my beta readers for pointing out things I was blind too mainly due to knowing everything that happens or what I meant by a line...🫂

Honestly I never really intended to write it out...but alas here we are and to save people some sanity I broke it up into the main storyline being 4 books versus it being one book about 2000pages long 0_o (my brain hurts at the thought of editing that)

Tagging the tag list Incase they were curious

@thatuselesshuman @gioiaalbanoart @lychhiker-writes @thecomfywriter @evilwriter37

@saebasanart @the-golden-comet @mauannacreates @kind-lion @alinacapellabooks

@kuebiko-writing @kaeru483 @theink-stainedfolk @unstableunicornsofasgard @mysticstarlightduck

@demon-sneeze @fromthenortheast @smellyrottentrees @honeybewrites @the-letterbox-archives

@illarian-rambling @paeliae-occasionally @leahpardo-pa-potato

[tellmegoodbye]

Thank you @eclectic-sassycoweyes and @lemonlyman-dotcom for tagging me! This is the first time someone beat me to this, but I've been a little sick so thank you for starting this off for us this week. 🩷

I'm doing a rather bleak theme today. Songs about losing people you love. Songs about death. Songs about grief. It's time to get emotional, y'all.

Lifetime - Three Days Grace

The thought is unimaginable That I saw you for the last time and didn't know

Now, I'm walkin' 'round in a haze There's no color, only darker shades of gray You showed me the way when I was lost and alone But you never really showed me how to let you go

Never again Will I look into the only eyes that knew me Feels like a bullet running through me

You were the one that I wasn't supposed to lose I thought I'd have you for a lifetime Have you for a lifetime You were the one that I wasn't supposed to lose I thought I'd have you for my lifetime Have you for a lifetime

This song reminds me of Push when Carlos is sitting at TK's bedside and watching as he dies, or so he thinks. Carlos saw him for the last time in that furniture store and didn't know it was the last time he'd look into his eyes. This song can also be applied to Carlos mourning their relationship and being unable to move on, because he knows in his heart TK is his soulmate and he was supposed to have him forever.

One More Light - Linkin Park

The reminders pull the floor from your feet In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there If they say

Who cares if one more light goes out? In the sky of a million stars It flickers, flickers Who cares when someone's time runs out? If a moment is all we are We're quicker, quicker Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do

I chose this song specifically for the line "in the kitchen, one more chair than you need" because it made me think of the scene at the end of 3x08 where after TK, Owen and Carlos go to get Chinese food in honor of Gwyn, we see that flashback instead where TK and Owen are eating with her. It also reminds me of the dinner scene in 4x17 where they have an open seat just for Gwyn, because even when she's gone she's still there watching over them. Overall this is a song about dealing with an unexpected death, but that line in particular is what made me relate this to Gwyn.

Neon Grave - Dayseeker

Neon grave Illuminate the life you took away Your heart expired And now the hurt keeps coming Silver lines I don't think that I will ever find How to make it right when you fade into the night Yeah, the hurt keeps coming

I wanna know the way it feels You cheated death, but now it's real When your eyes roll back And the world turns black

Can heaven fall into my lonely Earth? 'Cause hell is when I know you won't return Can heaven fall to Earth? I wanna feel it come down

Heaven and hell is the main theme in this song. Immediately I'm thinking about the hell Carlos experiences while grieving his father's death. I've always thought "can heaven fall into my lonely earth" was such a gorgeous line, and I think it's a perfect representation of Carlos in 4x18 because he's stuck in an obsession he can't get out of, and even though he has family around him he feels alone. The murder of Gabriel and the search for his killer is hell, but the choice to put his happiness first and marry TK is heaven. His happiness is one way he can honor Gabriel even if he can't find justice for him.

Tags!

@strandnreyes @bonheur-cafe @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet @goodways

@paperstorm @guardian-angle22 @reeeallygood @emsprovisions @literateowl

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @theghostofashton @reyesstrand @freneticfloetry

@toomanycupsoftea @messymindofmine @fandomswonderland @kiwichaeng @carlos-tk

@carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader @thisbuildinghasfeelings @ironheartwriter

@tailoredshirt @chaotictarlos @lutavero @reasonandfaithinharmony @sapphic--kiwi

@welcometololaland @rmd-writes @decafdino @firstprince-history-huh @fitzherbertssmolder

[quitealotofsodapop]

I wanna introduce y'all to an oc/story concept I've had for a while now.

Oc created using the "Bright's Picrew Hell" since I am terrible at drawing.

Basically its a parody and deconstruction of an Isekai story - aka "character is teleported/reincarnated into another world" (for example KonoSuba, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Digimon etc.)

The main character of this idea is Sekai Ishida; a gloomy shut-in with cerebral palsy and spinal bifida who's dealing with having aged out of the foster system and finding supports for his disability. Sekai was minding his own business going to career training when;

Sekai, being physically disabled, is unable to climb out of the way of a speeding subway car when he stumbles (or was tripped) onto the tracks. He closes his eyes.

He awakens to find himself dumped through a portal to a magical fantasy world.

When the many gods greeting him in the space between worlds ask him if he wishes for a boon to bring with him into this new life; Sekai impulsively replies "Give me back my crutches."

Well shit now he's just some Japanese guy with severe mobility issues in a dnd-inspired medieval kingdom with no fighting experience or magical add-on. What's a guy to do?

Wormwood; an Aberrant demon looking for a host: "

Wormwood: "Hey you wanna-" Sekai, already fed-up: "Whatever, sure." (*shakes hand*) Wormwood: "Damn, ok. Didn't even need a sales pitch." Workwood: (*painfully merges into Sekai's body*) Wormwood: "...damn bitch, you live like this?" Sekai: "Yeah." Wormwood: "I can't even look into parts of your brain." Sekai: "Yeah those don't work." Wormwood: "Screw this, I'm finding another off-worlder for my plans." (*nothing happens*) Wormwood: "...why can't I leave?" Sekai: "HAH! You're trapped in here with me!" Wormwood, tentacles waving frantically: "I can't even move your legs!" Sekai, gestures to crutches, laughing manically: "Neither can I!" Wormwood: "You are evil."

So now Sekai has one thing going for him; an inky symbiote-esque demon thats trapped in his body that's pretty keen on keeping Sekai alive. For now.

Also, you know how the demon mentioned "off-worlders"?

Yeah. Sekai isn't the only one.

It's a frequent phenomena in the magical kingdom, to the point that there are new laws in place to deal with people that fall through.

Notably:

Report immediately to the King.

Surrender all technology and/or organics to the crown.

Any accompanying animals will be quarantined or destroyed.

If it looks like nothing fell out of a portal hole - no it didn't. Evacuate the area immediately.

Off-Worlders should avoid making deals with spirit and/or demons, as they are an untapped source of raw magical life force (Sekai: "Oops"), and can cause the world around them to glitch and break down since they're essentially aliens.

Its not always human either. Dogs, cats, birds, and trilobites frequently wander/fall in. Imagine the utter terror of villagers used to dragon when they see a saltwater crocodile for the first time.

It's not always humans or organic things that fall in though. Like in Digimon where a subway car or a fridge full of eggs would randomly glitch in.

The ultimate common denominator is people and things that have experienced "glitches in the matrix"-style disappearances and have just... disappeared back in their home time/dimension. Oh yeah, people from completely different cultures and universes can fall through too.

Sekai (and his tag-along wormwood) occassionally fall into other universes due to Wormwood's own research into interdimensional travel. It was the very reason he sought out a host - someone proven to be able to handle the trip. Sekai hates this. HATES THIS. Let him have junk food and video games again!

[mysticstarlightduck]

Character Voice Tag!

Thanks for the tag @willtheweaver (here)!!! I'll go with the main cast from Of Starlight and Beasts for this one (:

MY LINE WAS: Yeah, I deserved that.

YOUR LINE IS: I don't know what I was expecting but I'm disappointed in your decision either way - because what the heck was that?

Corah - "Well, one thing's for sure: that wasn't undeserved - I really should've seen it coming, that's on me."

Arammys - "Oh Gods, that went so wrong - I deserve what happened, that was a terrible idea, and I take full responsibility for it but still... that was such a bad plan, oh Gods."

Eidan - "I should've known that this would be the outcome but I was too hasty to notice. I deserve to face the consequences for my actions."

Nimwen - "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh, goodness, oh Gods that went so wrong so fast. If someone is to blame for what happened that person is me, but I still should've been more careful. I'm so sorry!"

Tomasa - "Yep, no use running from the inevitable. Time to face the outcome of my poorly planned decisions. Lay it all out for me, and don't be shy. I'm a tough cookie."

Masen - "Fuck. Yeah, I'm not sticking around to find out what that's gonna cause, sorry not sorry. So, no hard feelings whatsoever guys, but I've gotta bounce. See y'all around? (winks)"

Kyran - "Oh. That... isn't ideal. Okay. Okay, okay, I can handle this, I should've seen this coming after all. I hope I can handle this. So...here's what we're going to do: we're getting the fuck out of here, right now. Because I don't deserve whatever they've got in store for me. Does anyone have explosive powder? I think can improvise a plan."

Maryon - "That was well deserved, I will admit. I made a mistake and it caught to up to me. I guess it is only fair I face whatever comes next - running will only drag things out. It's best to just get it over with., like ripping out an old bandage"

Florynce - "(In a drawn out, wispy voice) Somethings gone wrong. (squeaks) Somethings not as it should be and it's not right and it's my fault. Should I stay and face my fate? Is it what would be proper? (gives a little vampiric squeak, clearly starting to panic) I don't know what to do anymore"

Rin - "Hells no I'm not facing the consequences of that. (pats the person next to him in the back) Sorry pal, this was nice while it lasted, but you know what they say - survival of the fittest, and all that. Oh and be a darling: do tell the guards I said hi, I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about if you still have your head after this. Don't be a stranger! (flies away)"

Elias - "Oh, sink me! (groans, exasperated) I told you this was a bad idea, but who the fuck listens to me in this fucking shithole, eh?! Where the hells is my cutlass?! I'm going to fix this mess - one you should've fixed yourselves but never fucking mind that - properly this time. That's what I get for listening to you bufoons. I deserve this one. Lesson damn well learned."

Leora - "This was the worst idea I've ever had and the execution of this plan made it even more atrocious. I admit my wrongdoing and sincerely apologize. These circumstances are to be expected after what I did - and what terrible leader would I be if I didn't admit my own mistakes. Tell me what I can do to fix this, and consider it done."

Bastien - "My actions were suboptimal and their consequences deplorable. I accept full reponsibility for whatever trouble my actions may have cause and am willing to atone for it fully, whatever your verdict should be it will have been deserved."

Scarlet - "Shit. Okay, yeah. That one is on me - I screwed up big time, I really did. That seriously didn't go the way I thought it would, I don't know why I'm still surprised."

Tagging (gently, no pressure):@littleladymab @cabbojage @lassiesandiego @little-peril-stories @oh-no-another-idea @thepeculiarbird @rickie-the-storyteller @crowandmoonwriting @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gummybugg @forthesanityofstorytellers @doublegoblin @aalinaaaaaa @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @elshells @illarian-rambling @clairelsonao3 @conkers-thecosy @anyablackwood,and OPEN TAG

[lunarbuck]

This song is literally perfect for a bucky one shot! Probably a sad and angsts one 🥺👀

Thank you so so much for the request!!

this song is legit so sad 😭 i'm sorry in advance y'all

Our Song

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader (any race)

WC: 977

Summary: nothing is the same after the snap

Warnings: THIS IS SAD!! ANGST NO HAPPY ENDING, takes place post-infinity war… , mentions of death and loss, grieving, referenced death

A/N: legit cried while writing this.... and yeah i said no happy ending but in reality, we all know what happens during end game so like,,, you catch my drift? all I'm saying is that eventually things will get better but they don't in this one shot lmao

main masterlist | bucky one shot masterlist | requests are OPEN

The dog tags around your neck sway and clink as you climb through your bedroom window onto the roof. 

The moon is high in the sky on this beautiful cloudless night, and you can’t help but stare at it. 

You find your way to the middle of the roof and lay down flat, pressing yourself against the plaster. Your fingers mindlessly fiddle with the dog tags, running the pads of your thumbs over the words pressed into the metal.

It’s only been a week, and it still doesn’t feel real.

Wakanda is nearly silent tonight, still mourning all the lives lost. It happened so quickly. You didn’t even get to say goodbye.

You weren’t even there to make sure he wasn’t in pain; you were cooped up with a few families in town, staying safe.

Your mind constantly replays what you think happened, the way he faded away in bits and pieces like sand in the wind. He must’ve been so confused, so scared.

You’d met Bucky a year ago after his deprogramming ended. You worked in the palace, and he often visited T’Challa and Shuri. It was inevitable that your paths would cross.

Bucky was perfect. So kind and caring, he would go to the ends of the earth for you. He’d pluck the stars from the sky; he’d keep the world from turning. And you’d do it all for him too if only he asked.

“I’m so sorry,”   Steve choked, face twisted in pain.

“No,” you whispered. “No, no, no.” Arms wrapped around you from behind as your legs collapsed, slowing your descent. You couldn’t breathe. There was no more air in the world.

Steve fell to the floor in front of you and placed his hands on the sides of your head. His tears cleared tracks in the dirt on his face.

You still couldn’t breathe.

“He- he- he put up a good fight.” The arms holding you released you, and you threw yourself at Steve, burying yourself in his chest.

He held you tightly, shaking with his sobs.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Steve held you tighter, and you gripped him harder like you were the only thing tethering the other to earth.

Steve didn’t speak for a long time, only whispering, praying, “‘Till the end of the line. ‘Till the end of the line. ‘Till the end of the line.”

‘Till the end of the line.

You struggle to take a full breath as tears spill from your eyes. Your chest shudders, your heart aches. The Wakandan grieving process is a celebration of life. It recognizes the pain but reminds everyone of the beautiful life the individual lived.

As you suck in gasping breaths, you try to remember Bucky the way he’d want you to remember him.

Smiling, laughing, happy. You try to remember the way he’d wink at you after telling a dirty joke or making you blush. The way he’d wrap his arms around your waist and lift you up, spinning you around. The way his lips felt pressed against yours, soft and sweet.

You can practically see his eyes in the stars, gleaming down at you.

Even though it’s difficult, you push yourself up, standing and stretching your limbs to the sky. You pull out your phone and scroll through your playlist until you find the song you’re looking for. 

Won’t you lock me in your heart 

And throw away the key

Cause I love you forever

Through eternity

You sway with the breeze, holding the phone close to your chest. Images of Bucky’s bright eyes and beautiful smile flash through your mind at the sound of the song the two of you would dance to nearly every evening.

He’d spin you around the kitchen and sing along, always the hopeless romantic.

You know that even though he’s gone, he’s still yours. He’s still your knight in shining armor, your beautiful Bucky. And you’re still his, his best girl. But it’s hard to convince yourself that as the weight of his absence presses down on you.

You don’t know how you’ll move on, how you’ll ever open yourself up to someone like you did with Bucky. There’s no one out there like him, no one for you now that he’s gone.

Today, Steve left Wakanda to head back to New York. He offered to bring you back with him, but you can’t bear to leave behind the place where you’d met Bucky, where you’d fallen in love. You can’t fathom living in a world without Bucky, one where he’s not at your side.

Each night this week, you’ve repeated the ritual. You hold on to whatever you have left of him, a ratty old henley, his dog tags, a hairband. You listen to the song even though it tears you in half, and you stay up all night. Each night, you wait for a sign, something… anything that will tell you that he’s okay.

Tonight, it still hurts, but the song brings you a new comfort. The stars shine down at you, and this time you can see his eyes, his smile. His soul, etched out in the constellations. 

He’s there, just harder to see. You can live with that.

I have searched for a lifetime

For the one I could call my own

Now I found you, my darling

And I’ll never be alone

Every night, you dance with the ghost of what used to be, what you used to have. Maybe one day, the pain will lessen. Maybe one day, it’ll all make sense. Today is not that day; today doesn’t need to be that day. All you know is that tonight, Bucky is with you in the stars, and that’s all you can ask for.

We’ll be sweethearts forever

Through eternity

—

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost.

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost.

please message me to be added to a taglist! mucst be 18+

Everything tags: @peaches1958 @pono-pura-vida @emi11ie @paulasocean @silverfire475 @lovingchoices14 @nekoannie-chan @jen-with-a-pen

All Bucky taglist: @prettylittlepluviophile @writerwrites @w0nderw0mansw0rld @hawsx3 @meetmeatyourworst @harrysthiccthighss @goldylions @late-to-the-party-81 @luxeavenger @cloudyfeel @searchf0rtheskyline @keliiii @urmom4130

strikethru means I couldn't tag you for some reason :/

p.s. i intend to write a part 2 bc I want them to have a happy ending!!!

songs referenced in this fic:

Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Alex Sloan

Through Eternity: Jerry Fuller

[whump-thoughts]

My brain is scrambled eggs at the moment but i am in a good mood so i will share with y'all a very whumpy idea that's actually in a story i am making! (which is actually a very small part of it but i still want to share it with yall).

Okay so setting? Medieval low fantasy but with magitek, main idea? aight so big daddy's from bioshock? Like the whole idea of people that had their skin and organs grafted into an armored diving suit? Yeah what if those were knights?.

TW: apart from usual pet whump or tropes associated with it (such as dehumanization, conditioning, etc), one prompt contains gore involving bugs, while i not go into detail it is still pretty fucked up, so if ya want to keep reading be careful, btw ask me to tag stuff because i have never written whump stuff before + i am writing this one my phone and can't put in the read more thingy

During war time high ranking officials within the army and people in the royal court conspired to try to make basically unstoppable killing machines by kidnapping peasants and nobels or soldiers that were suspect treason or other crimes, destroying their individuality, then grafting them into magically enhanced suits of armor to use as basically killing machines in the war, his plan went surprisingly smoothly, that's until the whole kingdom found out that people were being kidnapped and turned into the killing machine knights and also the war ended, so now they are stuck with non-human knight creatures that while super obedient are also far removed from human society and also cannot be killed due to how full of magic they are, aight sorry for the ramble, now onto the actual whump ideas

A knight whumpee who while they have lost their voice and most of their previous self personality they still have little memories of their past and the people they use to care about, which causes a lot of trouble for "caretaker" since they now have a scary human-shaped thing following them around and have no idea why (it's because whumpee is convinced that "caretaker" is a person that meant a lot to whumpee back when they were still human, plot twist they are not but hopefully stuff works out in the end)

A Nobel whumper's decides to get their hands on a knight whumpee to use as their personal punching bag, one idea i had is of whumper just prying open whumpee's helmet and since they have no skin just letting flies and maggots feast on their flesh for their own amusement, knowing that they cannot die until the magic inside of them is snuffed out, but not knowing that while whumpee cannot feel most sensory stimuli they do feel the flies and maggots eating their flesh away

A knight whumpee with the sweetest voice and most cheery demeanor who is nearly fully severed from human society and ideas such as self preservation or individuality and will not think twice about mutilating themselves or maiming others at the mere suggestions of their master, it's not that they are inherently evil or whatever their mind has just been destroyed to the point that blind obedience is a integral part of their existence, of course they also have a caretaker that is slowly regretting letting basically a feral animal get attached to them and then letting them into their own home and life, hopefully this also works out in the end but like, doubt

Two caretaker's, one a mage/doctor and the other a former soldier, knight whumpee is slowly having their magic core burn away meaning that they are slowly dying, the mage/doctor believes that it's a abomination against nature thats existence is painful and the only thing that should be done is to let them peaceful be snuffed away, while the former soldier is trying to convince them that while whumpee is not human anymore they are still a person and that they really should try to find away to light their magic core once again

A knight whumpee and an actual knight caretaker! Real Knight caretaker was a soldier that grew attached to whumpee during the war and basically became their handler, now that the war is over caretaker managed to pull some strings to let them get basically custody over whumpee, whumpee while still able to speak they prefer to communicate through simple gestures and even if they kept most of their humanity stuff feels very hazy for them, basically caretaker trying to reintegrate themselves and whumpee into their old town, and both of them sometimes regretting it but still trying to pull through

Okay writing this has just, drained my of all my creative thoughts but feel free to reblog and add in more ideas! I am going to pass out now

[fromkenari]

Taking your shirt off in the vicinity of a known gay man and saying, "Oh, honey," to him without having any physical contact with him in your 3-minute scene in an independent film as a "gay character" is like the slimmest, low bar example of "playing gay" you could possibly give me and does not in any way constitute the amount of intimacy and physical contact that would be required of a man to "play gay," on a show like 9-1-1 but you know, maybe my expectations are too high because even with the mlm (and the wlw) relationships that are on the show we have gotten scraps compared to the mixed gender relationships.

The last network had Tarlos rolling around and making out all over the place (Hallelujah!) in a show in the same universe, and this new network has had plenty of queer romps on its shows. I mean, they even have whatever the hell is going on with the threeway on Doctor Odyssey, which airs directly after 9-1-1. So it's not the network. Also, you have an actor on 9-1-1 asking for sex scenes with men for his character, who is a newly out-of-the-closet bisexual. I don't hear the other actor in y'all's fanon ship saying that. However, I do hear the other actor from the brief mlm canon relationship for the bisexual character saying he wanted more, too.

But oh yeah, that actor is so okay with "playing gay" that y'all are gonna scream it until you're blue in the face while all the signs and his own words point to him being a staunch conservative who only considers relationships between men and women to be valid, but only as long as that woman is staying quiet and uplifting her man. It's really unbelievable how ridiculous y'all sound when you defend him anymore. He even said he is "celibate," which is a hell of a thing to say in the same interview where he spits out misogynistic and incel-ish rhetoric.

I used to like that fanon ship. I was there when it was being built. He is the main reason I don't ship it anymore, and the secondary reason is how that part of fandom acts. By all means, ship what you want to and have your theories about his character being gay, but quit harassing the shit out of people who are just stating facts or don't agree. The "ship war" is not necessary. I mean, yeah, some fans of the canon mlm ship have crossed some lines and there are also some fans of the fanon ship who are actually normal about it, but neither of those groups bullied an actor off of a social media platform or tried to actually cause real-life, psychological harm to people who don't ship the same thing and the other actor in the ship.

Also, this isn't aimed at any of my mutuals because my mutuals who ship either ship or both are not the ones causing all of the chaos that seems to crop up on a daily basis. Reblogging a theory on Tumblr is not the same as going into someone's ask box or DMs on other platforms and harassing them. I just scroll. If I find out anyone is harassing someone about ships on social media, they are gone from my dash and don't exist anymore to me. Avoiding someone because they sometimes reblog from a person you don't like is why blocking, filtering, and blacklist all exist, but again, to each their own, but that doesn't mean the person agrees with the person you don't like unless you ask them about it and do it respectfully. I do it every damn time someone on my dash reblogs something from a certain Zionist doxxer. Most people don't even know about these things, and if they don't like being respectfully educated, then I just unfollow/block.

The lack of communication on social media is somehow ironic, you know? But now I'm rambling away from the original thought I had while looking for something in a fandom tag and wading through eight tons of shit to get the thing I wanted.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Rubbish and Probably a Podcast Q&A! Transcript

[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen the show too many times…

G: And I, someone who also has seen Season 1 and 2 of Good Omens, discuss every single episode of- Good Omens. [laughs] I still have no idea how to do that intro.

C: Yes. But for today's episode, we are discussing our predictions and wishlist for Season 3, and answering some of y'all's questions. Or I guess all of your questions. We didn't exclude any of them. So yeah!

G: Yes. Hell yeah!

C: Hell yeah! Alright, so it's been like, two weeks since we last recorded, and you're no longer in active Good Omens mode. So how's it going? What are you thinking? What's your life?

G: You know what? While Good Omens was happening, I rarely had any funny thoughts about it. [laughs] [C: Uh-huh.] You know, I would talk about it in the podcast, and I would, you know, joke about. But like, outside of that, every time I thought about Good Omens, it was always like, thinking about it seriously. I feel like now that it's over and it's like, done with, and I'm not in the podcasting mindset anymore of like, "Oh, I have to talk about this in the podcast, and I have to have something worthwhile to say," [C: Yeah.] I feel like [laughing] I like Season 2 better!

C: What??

G: I'm like, "That's funny!" I mean, okay, maybe not Season 2 specifically. [C: Uh-huh.] Actually, I have not engaged in any content that's like, Season 2-specific. More of like, my anger for the season has like, dissipated. [C: Huh.] You know, like, okay, whatevs. 'Cause it's over. It's done. [C: That's true.] I feel like it's just going to rise back up when Season 3 comes out. God. I hope Season 3 doesn't happen. Let's just end it right here. [both laughing] [C: So true.] But yeah. I still have not involved myself with the Good Omens fandom. I'm like, scared. I'm gonna talk about it later 'cause there is a question in our Q&A that made me look something up on Tumblr, [laughs] and it will be with so much rage and upset, so I just am never doing that again.

C: Yeah, I mean, the tag is a difficult place to be.

G: It is. I mean, I feel like this is so mean to say, like, [laughing] at the first five minutes of our Good Omens recap ep.

C: What, that no one in there's funny?

G: No, because, like, I mean, probably the people who listen to us are like, people who are on Tumblr, blogging about Good Omens and stuff. [C: Mm.] But like, I just mean, like, I feel like when you go to the main tags, it's always the [laughs] worst of the worst that gets filtered to the top. So yeah.

C: Is the thing that you looked up that filled you with rage the coffee theory?

G: The coffee, yes.

C: [laughing] It's so bad! [both laugh] Yeah, we'll get to it.

G: I am so grateful that the person who sent us that question asked it and then said their thoughts. [C: Yeah.] Because I feel like I wouldn't be able to interface with it well if they just asked it with the assumption that they agreed with it. [laughing]

C: Right, I'd be like, "God, [laughing] I need to be nice to you, but I don't agree with that theory!" [G laughing] Yeah.

G: But anyway, yeah. [C: Anyway.] Also, I think I've been more just thinking about Aziraphale and Crowley in the Season 1 context, even until now. I don't know. Season 2 is fine, but- I keep on dillydallying. I just said it's fine, I like it, but also, it's not real to me. Like, I refuse to read fanfiction that is set in Season 2 or even has aspects of Season 2 in it, you know? FUn stuff! How about you?

C: Huh. What about me?

G: 'Cause I mean you, you're like, you watched Good Omens, and [laughs] you didn't exist to create content out of it for a really long time, and then, you know, for a whirlwind three months, it was the only thing on your mind. So how was that? That's not even an exaggeration. [laughs]

C: This is true. I mean, it was wonderful. [G, laughing: Like it literally-] It was wonderful. It's all I've ever wanted. [both laugh] I don't know. It was nice to get to do like, a deep dive into it because I feel like I gained a much better understanding of the characters. Because I think before, it's like, I watched it, I had feelings, and then I relied on like, fic and the occasional post to like, shape my deeper interpretations of things, but then I got to come up with stuff on my own. Congrats to me!

G: I do also quite like that about my experience of watching Good Omens. I mean, in general, I'm not a person who involves myself in fandom. That's a complete lie.

C: Yeah, we went to Supernatural together.

G: I mean, for Supernatural, I obviously involved myself- [laughs] We literally went to- But Supernatural was kind of more of an exception. Like, a lot of other stuff, I either do not involve myself in the fandom-

C: What was the Ace Attorney Twitter?

G: Yeah. And that one I literally hated everybody [laughing] I ever met in that place, so like, [C laughing] you know what I mean? So I'm not fond of that kind of stuff. But it it is miserable sometimes when you're like, "But I do want to talk about it, but also, I feel like every single person available that I can talk about with it doesn't interface with it the way I wish to." I don't know. Having this podcast is like, I think you're generous enough to interface with me the way I want to interface with, like, Good Omens, and also, the people who opt in to listen to us, like, our episodes, are so long and arduous. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] [laughing] Like, if they're listening in until the very end, it's like, they probably agree. You know what I mean?

C: Yeah. [laughs] I mean, we could have hate-listeners, but if so, hiii!

G: Yeah, if you're a hate-listener, I really do really wanna know. [C laughing] Like, it's my dream that someone listens to an episode of- like, waits for an episode to drop and then texts their friend-

C: Someone, yeah, listens to the six-hour episode that is 12.2.

G: - texts their friend that "Oh my god! In 4 hour 30 minute mark of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast [C laughing] Episode 12, they said that blah blah blah, and I vehemently disagree. Crystal and Grey are the stupidest motherfuckers alive!" And like, that's my dream. If you do do that, thank you so much.

C: I do imagine, like, the time when we called Aziraphale and Neil Gaiman people with like, 15-year-old on Tumblr reading comprehension, I know in my heart that someone was like, "Yeah, and so do you guys." [G laughs]

G: It's important to me. I wish people hate-listened to us. [laughs]

C: So true. None of this is a Season 3 prediction or wish, so.

G: [laughing] The only wish is that people hate-listen to us. God. I want everyone to know that that episode is like, 6 hours long, and the raw footage- "footage"- the raw recording is like, [overlapping] 8 hours and 50 minutes. It's crazy! Almost 9 hours, and it was split through two recording sessions because I couldn't- I couldn't hold out. I couldn't. I cannot.

C: This is true. It's so crazy that our original plan was to have all of Episode 12 be like, in one recording session. That would have totalled to like, what? Like, 14 hours? 15 hours?

G: Yeah. I mean, the moment we ended that one, I was like, "No, I can't do it." [laughing] So I was right. I was right. I mean, the last episode we did a two-parter on, [laughing] I literally fell asleep in the middle of recording of the second one, so like-

C: You did?

G: I literally did.

C: Okay, Season 3 predictions? When do you think they're gonna see each other again? Which episode number? Oh, okay, I don't have predictions, I guess. I was just gonna ask questions, but do you have real predictions?

G: What do you mean "When are we gonna see each other again?" What are you talking about? When are they?

C: When are they gonna see each other again? [G laughs] Which episode out of 6?

G: [laughing] I was like, [both laughing] "Are we gonna completely disappear from each others' lives despite also having another podcast responsibility?" C: Yeah, as soon as this Q&A ends, I'm blocking you. [G laughing]

G: The moment they unblock me, the podcast is back on.

C: Real and correct.

G: That's a very interesting question. I've actually not thought about that. I don't think it's going to be Episode 1.

C: I think the 2 or 3 mark.

G: I think maybe it will be fun if it's like, Episode 3 so we have one episode that's Crowley and then one episode that's Aziraphale.

C: Mm.

G: And then we get the meetup episode on Ep 3.

C: Yeah, though, I mean, I feel like the style of Good Omens is that they loove cutting back and forth so much, so I don't know if either of them would get a solo ep.

G: They can cut back to Anathema or something. [laughs] I don't really give a shit.

C: God, yeah. Pleaaase. Please. [G: Pweaaase. Yeah.] Anathema, pleaase.

G: No, literally, the first thing on my Season 3 wishlist is, "I want Anathema back." I sincerely do. I've been thinking about her a lot, and it does frustrate me because I'm- like, when I read fic, I'm very very very very very- like, I filter out everything, you know? I do not like to see what I do not like to see. My preferences are listed to the tee. So Newt is always out, Anathema x Newt is always out. And so I feel like I just have missed so many fics where like, Aziraphale and Crowley are there and then Anathema is like, also a character. Recently, out of the goodness of my heart [C laughs], and also missing Anathema. I- like, exited those X's on the preference. [C: Wow.] And now I've been reading fics with like, Aziraphale and Crowley and Anathema in it. So yeah, I miss Anathema. Want her back, etc.

C: It would also be nice to see Adam again, but [laughs] I feel like that child actor probably has school to do or something, so, unlikely.

G: I mean, the kids are probably like, 17 now.

C: Oh, yeah, that's true. Well.

G: Like, he's about to graduate high school. He doesn't have to go to college, I think. [both laugh] He can become a full-time actor.

C: [laughing] For the sake of Good Omens Season 3.

G: [laughs] Exactly. I mean, I want to see Adam less than I want to see Anathema because I feel like bringing back those kids would be a little bit like-

C: "We're getting the gang back together"?

G: Yeah, and, I mean, the fics about it are nice, but like, the show does not interface with them, as like, people who even like each other, [laughs] you know? Like-

C: You mean Aziraphale and Crowley and the kids? Yeah.

G: Yeah. So I don't know about that.

C: I mean, she did tell him to shoot, and then he did shoot.

G: [laughs] Recently, I've been thinking about the fact that, like, so many fics have, like, you know, Crowley be nice to Warlock or whatever, [laughing] which is so funny to me because he literally told Aziraphale, "You should just kill that kid" in 1.01. [C laughs] So true!

C: Yeah, it's true. [laughs]

G: He literally sang that kid to sleep like, every single night for years. And [laughing] he's like, "Yeah, we should just probably shoot him. I don't know."

C: He had bad vibes.

G: Exactly. I have no predictions, actually. All of these are like, wishlist stuff. So do you have any other predictions?

C: Predictions? Huh. I mean, the only thing I know properly about Season 3 is that Neil Gaiman was like- he considered Season 2 gentle and romantic [G: Oh yeah, I've seen this.] and Season 3 as decidedly not. I mean, I think he just means there's gonna be plot that happens.

G: [laughs] I thought you were gonna say there's gonna be porn, [C laughs] which is so funny! Well, maybe there is. Maybe they would fuck raw in the street.

C: Maybe they would fuck raw in the street. I don't know. Okay, like, I think Jesus is gonna happen. I think I think the baby Jesus headcanons are cute, but I feel like it would just be sort of hard to do on a set. So I feel like they're just gonna have Jesus be like, full-grown in his 30s or something.

G: Yeah, they're going to create Jack Supernatural, which is wonderful. Wonderful character! I love Jack Supernatural. [C: That's true.] But also, don't recreate Jack Supernatural. [C: Yeah.] That's Jack Supernatural. You will never be Jack Supernatural.

C: I think it's, yeah. I think it's unlikely that Adam's gonna come back because it'll make it too clear that it's like, "So you did the Antichrist in Season 1 and now you're gonna do the Christ in Season 3?"

G: They're gonna fight it out, yeah.

C: Yeah. If Anathema's actress has the time, I think there is a way that they could incorporate more Agnes Nutter.

G: I think so too. I mean, she threw away that that fucking paper, and that's very important to her journey. [C: Mm-hm.] Let's bring her back, though. Like, [laughing] IDGAF.

C: Yeah, let's destroy her journey. I wanna see her again. [G laughs]

G: I feel like it will be interesting for Anathema's character to be like- and even without the you know, even without the Agnes stuff, even without the prophecies, she's still like, a capable person. She's still an occultist, as she says. She can probably sense that something's up, and she knows that there's an angel and a demon in Soho.

C: Though, I mean her memory of that's pretty hazy, but it's still somewhat.

G: She remembers. IDGAF. [both laugh] She remembers somewhat.

C: Yeah, yeah. And I feel like that having a new apocalypse happen and her be prophecyless is a way for her to like, grapple with the decision she made on a larger scale than just like, [G: Exactly!] having to make like, monthly life choices. And then she can drop off Newt, or she can open with like, no Newt already!

G: I mean, I would like her to open up, [laughs] and then we just never acknowledge that guy. Like, he's just never mentioned. That's my dream.

C: Yeah. Well, now, we're back at wishlist. [laughs] We can pingpong between. It's fine.

G: I would like Anathema. I think it is very nice to be like, she threw away that piece of paper, that book, the second set of prophecies, and like, now, they're at a time where like, "It would be real nice if we had that book!" And, you know, like, grappling with that, like, maybe guilt, but also, like, saying that "I don't need it." and being like, "Wait. Actually, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I did do the wrong thing." Again, like, one of our main complaints for Season 2 is they paralleled everything to Aziraphale and Crowley and it got tiring real fast, but like, if they really want to do a parallel to Aziraphale, like, let's bring Anathema in! You know? [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I think her questions of faith with like, Aziraphale being like, "All of the heavenly commands and dictates are very clear, but, like, God, is this nebulous thing. Like, I don't really know what God's asking of me." That could be, you know, applied to Anathema, where, like, all the dictates are so clear, but also like, "I don't really know a lot of the time what Agnes is actually saying," you know? And then, "Now I really don't know, 'cause I threw it away." Which is something that Aziraphale did. You know. You know. I think it's important that we bring back Anathema.

C: Mm-hm. I agree. I agree. [G: Yeah.] Okay, what's Crowley even been doing in between Season 2 and Season 3? First off, I guess I don't know how long the timeskip is, but I feel like it's gonna be like, basically zero.

G: You know, I don't think there's going to be a timeskip at all. I think we're going to pick back where we left off.

C: Ough. Alright. In that case, it doesn't really matter what Crowley's been doing, because it's just been like, a day, and she's just been getting white girl schwasted in her flat.

G: One of my other wishlist is the Crowley mane, of course. [C: Oh, yeah.] But you know what? [C: What?] I'm doubling down. I want to see Aziraphale have a beard.

C: No! No, god, it'll be so bad!

G: I wanna see it. It probably will be very bad. [laughs]

C: You want to look at the screen at your special little guy and be reminded of Michael fucking Sheen?

G: I mean, not particularly, but I think I do wanna- I think I've said this. I do want to see something change in Aziraphale's looks in Season 3.

C: Yeah. His outfit will be different. You did it. It happened.

G: Boo! Well, what if we put like, I don't know, golden tattoos on his face or something? You think that'd be fun?

C: Sure. Yeah. A lot of people have his eyes go purple, but that's a Gabriel-specific thing.

G: No, that's what I'm thinking! No but like, is it? 'Cause like, maybe it's a heavenly host/commander of the heavenly host thing.

C: No, I mean, [sighs] according to Neil Gaiman's Tumblr, I think he just saw purple eyes on a human and then stole them, like, I think that was what the question was.

G: Yeah, and he should steal it again for Aziraphale.

C: Aziraphale should go to Alpha Centauri [both laughing] and steal Gabriel's eyeballs. [G laughs] Yeah, and Crowley will just be like, [fake-teary] "You went to Alpha Centauri without me??" like, not even giving a fuck about the eyeball-stealing

G: Oh, speaking of Gabriel, I'm unsure how much presence him or Beelzebub-

C: I don't want him or Beelzebub in Season 3. They're out. Goodbye. [laughs]

G: Do you think so? Or is that a wish?

C: I don't see why they would be back.

G: They like to employ John Hamm in this show. I feel like John Hamm will be back.

C: I just think if no one from Season 1 came back, [G: Oh, yeah.] I don't see a reason to do like a "And now we have to go consult Gabriel and Beelzebub about the Apocalypse."

G: Okay, they're gone. Okay. Here's my only condition. If we never see Gabriel and Beelzebub again, we should never, ever see Nina and Maggie again. Like, it should not happen.

C: We're gonna see them again, though.

G: Are you sure? [laughing] If you fucking say that "Neil Gaiman said on Tumblr," I will fucking disappear into the void.

C: No, he didn't say anything. [G: Okay.] I think it's just because in the final fifteen, Crowley waves goodbye to both of them [G: Yeah.], it seems like an odd move if they're not gonna come back.

G: Yeah, he said goodbye, because, you know, they're never gonna see each other ever again. [C laughing] That's the final goodbye. It's a big one.

C: Well, if we're talking about side characters, we know that Muriel and Shax are gonna be in Season 3.

G: Of course, yeah. We need to do a Furfur and Shax torrid love affair situation. [C laughs] Why not?

C: Yeah. Why not? Okay for Shax, it's like-

G: Wait, we're already doing a Michael/Shax torrid love affair situation. [C: Polyamory's real.] Well, they can be a throuple, just like House and Cuddy and Wilson.

C: Mm-hm. [laughs] But yeah, obviously, she's very pro-Apocalypse, and she's gonna win that Dark Council seat. I don't really see like a "redemption arc" for Shax, but I also don't see a, like, "They shove her off a cliff as she yells 'noo!'" ending, [laughs] so like.

G: I mean, obviously not. It would be a bit weird if they do like a "And then they die" [C laughs] ending for anyone, 'cause I mean, like, in even in Season 1, right? Like, they don't. hurt Gabriel, they don't hurt Beelzebub, like, no one- Ligur was literally the only casualty.

C: Do you think Heaven and Hell are gonna end reformed at all? Or is it just like, "We've held them off for another century"?

G: Season 1 paints this as like, "the big one," you know, "us versus them." So I think maybe they would lead more into the like, human aspect of the saving the world. Whatever.

C: Mm-hm. Which is why we need Anathema back so hard and so raw?

G: It cannot be a Season 1, "We're gonna go back to the status quo, therefore delaying the inevitable new Apocalypse in the future." I think there will be a big change by the end.

C: Yeah, I mean abolition of Heaven and Hell, Perhaps

G: I don't- do you think Neil Gaiman-? [laughs] I don't think Neil Gaiman-

C: - has the courage to say that? No, he doesn't even have the courage to say that God is bad, so, [laughs] [G: Yeah.] I don't think it's happening. He will never be Philip Pullman.

G: I have only two other things on my wish list, and also predictions, which is "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" [C laughs] plays in this fucking TV show. But also, I want an expansion of Crowley's music tastes. [C: Yeah.] I want to see what other stuff they're into, you know? Can we play some Velvet Underground in this thing? We should.

C: Is the bit that, like, every single CD in their car turns into Queen- that's not canon in the TV show, right? And like, when Aziraphale brings out the Velvet Underground, Crowley's not like, "Oh, that'll be Queen by now." So like, I guess, like- So in the show, Crowley does listen to all the Queen, like, on purpose. In the book, Crowley doesn't even like Queen, I think. [G laughs] That's just what happens to their music.

G: The Bentley likes Queen. That's a very different thing than Crowley liking it. Yeah. I don't know. They're going to be back in the flat. God! It's gonna be so miserable. Or will it be? Who knows?

C: I feel like it's gonna be not that miserable 'cause I feel like Season 3 is gonna focus more on the plot, and like, once, Neil Gaiman's like, "I'm no longer writing a romance primarily," he'll just like, drop a lot of the emotional baggage that we ended Season 2 with.

G: We actually have a question regarding this later. [C: This is true.] So I'm going to talk about that in that question more, but I mean, in Season 2, right? "Write Aziraphale and Crowley with the intention of making it a romance" is like, I feel like it's not as effective as it could have been. Or, I mean, it's not as good, I should say, as it could have been. I don't know. Maybe it will actually help if it's not so romance-centric.

C: Yeah, we can get back to the Season 1, Episode 3, which was the height of romance.

G: Yeah, that shit was crazy. I'm still thinking about that. I'm still there. I'm still in Rome, baby. I'm still in Rome. [C laughs]

C: Okay. I mean, wishlist, like Aziraphale memory-wipe blast 100, go. But yeah, I feel like if this is gonna be a more human-centric apocalypse, I feel like Aziraphale getting his memory wiped would just derail all of that, and we wouldn't get Anathema back or anything so like, maybe not. If there was like, gonna be a Season 4, which, like, luckily, there will not be, please? [knocking] Knock on wood. Then I would allow Aziraphale to get memory wiped, but I think we don't have the time for it. The Book of Life, I don't know if it's gonna come into play in Season 3. Like, it seems like it should, but also it's fully possible that he just made this thing up to create fake consequences and fake stakes in Season 2 and then drop it immediately, so [laughs], I don't know. Aziraphale erases Jesus from the Book of Life, not clickbait, question mark? I don't think it's gonna happen. Would be funny, though.

G: I mean, we've been introduced to the idea of like, removing the angels' memories from like, the time of angelness, but I feel like to implement that on a large scale is incredibly mean, and like, very bad. [laughs] So probably not.

C: Oh, you mean a form of Heaven abolition is just like, wiping every angel's memory and dropping them down to Earth to be humans?

G: Yeah. That's disagreeable.

C: Yeah, that would not be niceys.

I mean, it'd be nice if they talked it out, but I don't think they're gonna talk it out.

G: No one has ever talked.

C: Yeah. Should we get to the Q and the A?

G: Yeah, let's get on the Q&A!

C: Alright. Oh, I guess you should ask the first two, [faux-egotistical] 'cause I'm the one answering them, 'cause they're just for me, 'cause I'm like, special or whatever.

G: [laughs] Okay, fine. [C laughs] Well, so the first set of questions is like, about canon-related stuff, so I mean, if you're like, "Oh, but you asked one of my questions, why not the other one?" It's because the other one's like, on another category, that's why. Well, so our first question is from anonymous. "What are some aspects of Good Omens you preferred in the book, and what are some you preferred in the show?" This is a Crystal-specific question because I still have not finished the book.

C: Yes. Yeah. Okay. I feel like- I think it's mostly stuff that I've talked about during Season 1, where I think that the, you know, the scene where they wrap up everything with Adam is much better in the book because they actually like, give him lines that make sense, and he talks about free will and all that shit, whereas it's "you're not my dad" [laughs] in the show. I guess they just turn it into something interpersonal that wasn't there before that also has no real canon backing. So yeah, I really really prefer Adam's speech to the Metatron and Beelzebub in the book. I also think that book does like, a more- it does like, a better job at like, Heaven and Hell equivalency, I suppose, where like Aziraphale and Crowley both consider their sides sorta meh, especially Crowley. I feel like there's a focus on how like, Heaven and Hell are just as bad as each other in the narration and in like, Crowley's POV. In the show, I feel like sometimes, they try to say that, but it still doesn't come across, really, because of- I don't know if it's like, the visuals or the whatever. You could definitely make the argument that, like, Heaven and Hell and the show, are equally sinister or whatever, but I feel like they're not portrayed as equally sinister. Like, imagine if there was a battle scene where, like, they killed off like, 60 angels. Like, it wouldn't happen 'cause I feel like people would be like, "Oh, no, that's bad!"

G: Yeah. Okay, I get what you mean.

C: But like, it's fine to kill off 60 demons, right? Like, demons are portrayed as "less than" angels in the show, and that's not really an aspect that I get in the book.

G: Also just the visual aspect of it, right? Like, when Aziraphale was being- I keep on thinking "crucified," but that's just just for crucifixion specifically. [laughs] You know what I mean. Aziraphale was being- what's the term? Sent to die? What's the term for that?

C: What, sentenced to death?

G: Annihilated? There's a specific term. Assassinated? It's not that. [laughs]

C: Executed?

G: When he was being executed! Like, when Aziraphale is being executed, it's a very corporate thing where it's like, "You did something bad, so now I'm punishing you. And I am pissed at you, but only because you did something real bad." But with Crowley, it's very vindictive.

C: I mean, Crowley did kill someone. [laughs] I feel like that's a more valid reason to execute someone.

G: Yeah, but like, they have all of those demons watching on the other side of the bathtub window, and it's like, that also adds a layer to what you were saying that like, "If they killed a bunch of angels, it's like, you'll go, 'Oh. Whoa.'" You know, because, like, the demons that we do see in the show, like, we see more of them, but like, as fodder, you know? We more of them, but just shouting in the background-

C: - in the background to have blood on their face and like, be menacing, or whatever. Yeah, demons are treated as a lot more disposable, and Aziraphale has this whole line about "Even demons aren't that stupid!" and also like, apparently, there's like, demons that are "practically the damned" that, like, I guess, are are treated as less than people like, 'cause of- I don't know exactly what it is. Yeah, it seems like it's like- they seem to be acting like there's a group of demons that are less intelligent than other demons, and that makes them more killable. [G: Yeah.] Which is pretty fucked up.

G: Can I also add something?

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause I have read some of the book. 'Cause in the show, Nanny Ashtoreth is Crowley, and Brother Francis is Aziraphale. I suppose I do like it when it's not them. [C: Hm.] I like it better because then, like, having Crowley and Aziraphale talk about-

C: "Kill that kid."

G: And it's like, there, you have a more understanding version of it, because you're like, "But they're not personally connected to this child. They're, you know, they're just observing this child from the distance. It's their people who are connected to this child." I mean, I joke about it earlier, like, "Maybe Warlock just really had bad vibes because Crowley sang that kid to sleep every night for years and like, is still like, 'Okay, let's kill him.'" But like, it makes it worse from like, Crowley's perspective, that, like, they were with this kid for a long time, and still is like, "No, I don't really give a shit."

C: Yeah, it's unfortunate.

G: Also, the line in the book of like, "They would just meet occasionally in like, theaters and on tops of buses and stuff and giggle over their reports" [C: Yeah, in museum cafes.], it's soo corny! [laughs] Yeah. And it's wonderful. But yeah, I've been thinking about this. Like, we never really see Aziraphale and Crowley, be like, attached to humanity specifically. You mentioned that one line in the book where Aziraphale goes, "I mean, we should do something, 'cause there's people here," but like, even then, it's not like, a personal basis, you know? It's just that general benevolence towards humans. It's never a-

C: Yeah, part of it is him feeling responsible for having messed about and caused a lot of this to happen. But like, yeah, it's not that he likes any of them particularly.

G: You just assume it's because both of them don't interact with people- one person, you know, specifically- that much, so they don't really give a shit. But with, you know, the reveal that actually, Crowley is Nanny Ashtoreth and Aziraphale is Brother Francis, it's like, "Wait, they do interact with people, like, on a prolonged period of time," specifically, this one person, and they still do not GAF. So like, okay, well.

C: This is true. I mean, I guess, back to my Heaven and Hell equivalency point, I really wish that they had somehow kept in the paragraph where Crowley maintains that, like, most demons are fine, and they're just doing an unpleasant job like tax collectors do, and Hastur and Ligur just happen to be like, total assholes [laughs] and not representative of demons as a whole. I feel like that does not at all come across in the show, and it adds to the whole, like, "Hell is worse, and Crowley is an exception to the rule in a way that Aziraphale is but also isn't entirely." Stuff that I preferred in the show... I mean, it's nice to see David Tennant's face. [laughs] [G: That's true.] I mean, I guess, you know, the 1.03 montage/cold open doesn't happen in the book, and in some ways, I think that it's good because it allows people to form their own headcanons on like, what they were doing throughout history, but, like, on the other hand, that thing, like, reinvented cinema for all time forever, so like, [laughs] I think I still do like it better being there.

G: I mean, Good Omens the show, I don't think was ever supposed to get a Season 2. I do appreciate that, like, the book was published, what? '89.

C: 1990, I think.

G: 1990, yeah. And then, like, 2019, TV show comes out about like, the book. And then you just have this, you know, added insight into their life. And it's like, that must have been real nice for the people who like, have like, liked the book for a long time, you know?

C: Yeah, yeah, unless they're like, "This totally ruined all my headcanons and my fanfiction." [G: That's true.] I think I do like that Heaven is more involved directly in Aziraphale’s life and in surveilling him in the show even if it created some new character traits that I wish were more similar to book Aziraphale's, just 'cause I think, you know, in the book and in the show, like, Hastur and Ligur are both there to surveil Crowley, and they have, like, an active hostile presence in their life, so it helps to also have Heaven be more present in Aziraphale's, and I think it makes his faith journey better, more interesting to watch.

G: I mean, I've said it many times, but, like, I really like Aziraphale's journey of faith in Good Omens, so I think they lean more into it in the show than they do specifically in the book. [C: Yeah.] And yeah, I appreciate it. I appreciate it.

C: And I like that Anathema has a little bit more agency in how she chooses to burn the prophecies at the end of Season 1.

G: Yeah. For our second question, [C: Yeas.] this for Crystal again. So "Have you listened to the Radio drama at all, and if so, what do you think of it?" I'll answer first 'cause my answer is very short. No. [both laughing] I asked for a link once and Crystal sent it to me, and then I just never clicked on it. Yeah.

C: Yeah. Oh, you don't even know what Crowley's voice sounds like! Wait, just click on the link and listen to what Crowley's voice sounds like, please!

G: [laughing] Okay. Wait, is it in our pinned messages? God! Our pinned messages are tru- [laughing] [both laughing] Why did I pin, like, every single photo-

C: No one can ever see this.

G: of David Tennant I've ever- [laughing] [C screams] Wait, okay, it's here. I've clicked on the link. Radio Episode 1. Should I start with Episode 1?

C: Yeah, I think Crowley should show up pretty fast.

G: Is this Aziraphale?

C: Talking first?

G: Yeah. Aziraphale!! [C: Yeah.] I like the Aziraphale voice, actually.

C: Yeah, I mean, they really just need to get someone to play a gay man, and they really did.

G: Ew! Ew! Ew! [laughing] Ew!

C: [laughing] Did you get to Crowley's voice?

G: Ew! [laughs] I just heard Crowley speak-

C: How are you doing? How are you feeling? [G laughing]

G: [laughing] Ew! [both laughing]

C: You good?

G: [laughing] Stop this at once! I literally- he goes, [deep voice] "Ssso," and I just paused completely! I can't do it! Okay, I'm going to click okay now.

C: Yeah, your brain can do this.

G: Oh my god, I can't do it! [C laughing] Why is it so deep? Why is it so deep? [laughing] What the fuck? [C: Well.] What a jumpscare! [C: Well.] Jesus Christ!

C: Well, how do you feel? What do you think?

G: Why is he doing ASMR? [laughing] Why is he doing ASMR? [C laughing] I'm like- [laughing] I cannot explain the state that I'm in. I'm in shock. [C laughing] Okay, well.

C: Well, I don't know how you're gonna edit that to have it work, but anyway. [both laugh]

Yes, I have listened to the radio drama. I think it's a good, fun time. I mean, it was a bit of a shock when I first heard his voice [G: Okay.], but I got used to it. And, I mean, it's fun. Like, if there was no TV show, I feel like, and I didn't have an idea of Crowley's voice, I feel like that would make sense. Like, they're just leaning into the snake aspect with the acting, right? Like, that makes sense. Aziraphale's voice, great. They just had someone play a gay man.

G: It's wonderful, yeah.

C: Anathema's VA. Call me. [laughs] I like radio Anathema a lot. I'm not sure-

G: Is radio Anathema British? No.

C: Yeah, radio Anathema is British. [G: Yeah, okay.] I mean, I love Anathema's American accent in the show, and I also love her British thing in the radio. [G: Yeah.] I think the radio play is really fun, 'cause it's like, you can sort of see the seams of like, where they tried hard to like, adapt the narration into a radio format because they don't have God or anything.

G: Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, that's why I asked, like, "How long will I have to skip?" Because I thought there would be a God thing.

C: Oh, no. No God. In order to like, introduce Crowley, it's like, Ligur and Hastur and hanging around the cemetery, and like, Hastur's like, "Pop quiz. Do you know what Crowley used to call himself?" [laughing] Like, so true. That is how you do exposition.

G: [laughing] You do a pop question about every character that shows on screen.

C: Yeah. I think, right, this is the adaptation that introduced the idea of Crowley being Nanny Ashtoreth and Aziraphale being Brother Francis. Yeah, you said that you didn't really like, but I mean, I think it's fun, most of the time, so.

G: I mean, it is fun. It is fun.

C: Yeah, but it's fun-ish, but also, I don't know. I think it does work better without that. I think that there are some iconic moments. Like, I think, the way that this Crowley delivers, "Nice dress. Suits you," like, good job. They have in fucking raw in the street every day. [G: Yeah.] I don't know. Other fun moments... when the paintball fight happens, and Crowley's like, "Oh my god, Aziraphale, you actually have blue blood?" : So yeah, I don't know. It's a fun time. I enjoyed it. It's been a while since I've listened to it, and I think I've only like, listened to it like, three times, so I should probably revisit it sometime. But yeah. I guess what I think about it is that it is fun.

G: Okay. I've been convinced. I'll listen to it.

C: Alright. Cool! Good luck with Crowley's voice. [laughs]

G: Thank you. [laughs]

C: Okay, the next question is from my friend Ansel, and he asks, "If you could change just one thing about Good Omens Season 2, what would it be?" The difficult part of this question being the "one" part, [laughs] not the rest of it.

G: Yeah. You know what? I'll just change Maggie and Nina. I don't know. Something else.

C: As in remove?

G: Maybe it's still them, but like, just changed. I don't know if I- 'cause the thing is like, changing Maggie and Nina, they're such a big part of this fucking season, so like, if we're talking one thing in the broadest term, I'll say Maggie and Nina. But like, if we're talking like, one specific thing, like, I don't know. The whole thing is a fucking mess.

C: Okay, yeah, I read it as more of like, one specific thing, and I feel like what like, really ended up frustrating me in the end is just like, the lack of stakes in terms of them not giving a fuck about how Shax was gonna raid the bookshop, and then, like, the Book of Life threat just going nowhere, and like, Crowley not even caring about it.

G: After Episode 11, you said one thing to me that I was like, "Yeah! That's true!" Which is that if they just had a throwaway line after the demons like, threw in that rock into the window, where Aziraphale goes, "Oh, I didn't think they'd actually go through with it." and Crowley's like, "Wait. You knew about this?" and Aziraphale's like, "Yeah, they told me." [C laughs] And then Crowley's like, "Yeah, I mean, that's fine. They also told me." And it's like, yeah. They just didn't think it would go this far.

C: Yeah, both of them are just like, "Oh yeah, I didn't think they were gonna actually do anything. I thought Shax was full of shit." That would help a lot. I think on the other end of it, it's like, if they had them be a bit worried- like, I think if it was just like- if we just got a brief scene after, like, Shax came by and threatened to declare war on Aziraphale where like, Crowley was like, checking the protections of the bookshop around the door, or like, was drawing- Oh, yeah, I think I was thinking about, like, Crowley could have hidden like, a sigil thing or something in the bookshop after like, Shax came and told them about how she was going to declare war on Aziraphale, and if that was the thing instead of the halo that, like, set off a bunch of alarms, I feel like it would help with the "Crowley doesn't give a fuck" issue and with the halo, it's such a- Oh god! I forgot how to pronounce it. [both] Deus ex machina. Ex machina? Ex machina? [G: Yeah.] Yeah, I feel like that would solve two issues that I have with the season. [G: Wow.] So that is a possibility. Yeah, another thing that I would also take is the thing that you said during or 12.1 recording- or 12.2? Yeah, 12.2. Where it's just like, if Crowley was standing next to Aziraphale during the Book of Life threat and also looked very scared, and like, they were like, on the verge of action or something before the Metatron came in, that would also help a lot with how frustrated I was with the last two episodes.

-

G: Okay, our next section of the Q&A is like, stuff about like, Good Omens like, fandom/playing with canon, you know?

C: Headcanons and such.

G: Predictions, even. So our first question is- Oh my god! [both laugh] So this is from anonymous. It goes, "sorry if this has been asked or answered before"- Never be sorry about asking us a question that may or may not have been answered before, because we will probably answer it again and just say the exact same thing with as much enthusiasm.

C: Yeah, we'll come up with new shit.

G: Yeah! [laughs] "- but do you subscribe to any of the theories that there was 'more' going on in the final fifteen? [C laughs] coffee theory, the Metatron was listening so they’re doing elaborate kayfabe, crowley stopped time and they were able to talk before he left the shop? i see why people can see evidence for some of them, but i think i settle on this always being the way the conversation was going to go, in terms of results at least if not the exact words. aziraphale was always eventually going to go where crowley couldn’t follow, he still hasn’t let go of the idea of being part of heaven. and i think maybe the emotional integrity of the conversation depends on there not being a lot of other trickery going on?" You're so correct.

C: Yeah. Correct. Yeah. Yeah.

G: I looked- I mean, I was reading this, and I was like, "I don't even know what the kayfabe means." So I looked that up, and I was like, "Okay, that's weird that people think that." And then I looked up "coffee theory good omens" on Tumblr [C laughing], and I was filled with rage that I had to click out. And then, yeah. I didn't bother searching up the others because I mean, they're pretty easy to figure out.

C: I mean, I don't wanna be mean about it, but also, I do hate it so much.

G: I don't wanna be mean about it, but it seems to be like, it originated from like, one person or one group of people. So I don't want to be like, "And they're all stupid." [both laugh]

C: Yeah, [laughing] but also, what if I do wanna be like that? But I don't. But I don't. I just- okay. If this is- I don't know how mean this is gonna come off. I think that this is what happens when, instead of spending like, a good time on Adam and on actually like, doing your themes in 1.06, you waste a bunch of time on an elaborate fake-out bodyswap thing that doesn't really make sense when you like, look at it very closely and was never in the book. I think you start getting people, like, expecting there to be [G: Fake-outs like that, yeah.] trickery and stuff like, at the end of Season 2 as well, which I just- I don't think is happening. And like, I don't know. This is like, the shit that you get with like, the Sherlock Fandom, and TJLC too, right? Like, the writers like, pull one thing over on you, and you're like, "Oh my god, they must be so smart. They must have stuff up their sleeve like, all the time, and like, there must always be something going on underneath the surface," but it's probably just like, they came up with one idea and thought it would be fun, and like, don't actually intend on doing a plot twist every single time. They've just like, created an expectation for it. And then, like, that's just what happens. I blame Neil Gaiman for this mostly. I think it's- I just don't like the headcanon. I think that anything that lessens the emotional impact of the final fifteen, I'm not particularly a fan of, because I feel like it relies on people being like, "Oh, but like, Aziraphale wouldn't really do that," or "Crowley wouldn't really do that, 'cause they're like, so in love." But it's like, they do have other shit going on, and they do have problems in their lives, and like, that is the point of the final fifteen, is to be like, yeah. Like, they- yeah. Yeah, Aziraphale still hasn't gotten over his connection to Heaven, and it just- I don't know. I just don't subscribe to anything that- yeah, I mean, I already said everything. Just anything that cheapens the emotional impact.

G: Yeah. I think for me, I mean, two things. One is that this made me realize that people- I mean, not made me realize. I knew this already. But like, people really do watch things differently. Like, 'cause for me, the big part of why I love Aziraphale is the, you know, the faith journey of it all. So Aziraphale entangling himself with his faith in this way is like, something that appeals to me. But like, I suppose if it's not something that appeals to you, you'd be like, "Well, I don't like it. Let's make it be not that." And it's like, "Okay, fine." [C laughs] Another one is that I think the reason why- I mean, the way I said it is just like, "I looked it up, and I was just like, so mad." [both laugh] And a big part of it is that you're saying two things with this kind of stuff which is that, 1) You think Aziraphale did the wrong thing, and 2) You don't even think that Aziraphale is capable of doing the wrong thing. Like, there must be a reason why he did the wrong thing that isn't because he's wrong. We know how I feel about the "Aziraphale is wrong" situation which is that I think it remains to be seen. My opinion on whether Aziraphale can do no wrong or not is that well, he should be able to. I mean, isn't the point that, like, I don't know. Free will? Part of having free will is, you know, making mistakes. That's just how it goes. I mean, it's so stupid to say that like, "Oh, agency, blah blah blah." Like, none of these people- none of these characters have agency. They're characters being written in a story. But it does frustrate me because, I mean, I've had experiences in my life where when I tell people how I have dealt with, you know, my faith, and they have reacted in a "Oh, you're like, being brainwashed," [laughs] you know? [C: Aw. Yeah.] And it's like, I think I'm a completely reasonable person when it comes to my faith. It's been a super long journey for me. People tend to hear it and then reduce it instantly to like, "Oh, but like, you know, your religion hates gay people, and you're gay, so like, what's up with that?" And it's like, a lot of things are more complicated than, you know, those very simple statements. I see Aziraphale also as more complicated than the statement "He wouldn't do that because" and whatever comes after that, you know. And I feel like sometimes, you- I mean, there are times when a story is written, and you're like, "Okay, that's written bad." But there are times when you have to also look at the story and go, "Okay, maybe I don't agree initially, but let's interface with it in a way where I'm trying to understand what it's trying to tell me." 'Cause I feel like that's kind of the missing part in a lot of how we look at things now. It's like, what I get from it is different from what it's trying to tell me. And it's like, even if what the story is trying to say, you don't want to hear, well, it's still the thing that it's telling you. [C: Mm-hm.] I feel very fiercely protective of Aziraphale's character and character's decisions. So yea. I mean, it's a big reason, again, why I have mostly stayed out of Tumblr, specifically, circles of Good Omens. Because, I mean, with AO3, you can filter to hell and back. [C: Yeah.] Like, "I don't like this, I don't-" But like, with, you know, those more scrolling-scrolling stuff, it's harder to do.

C: I didn't even bring up coffee theory in the recording. Like, I'll bring up things that other people have like, interpreted, even if I don't agree with them just as talking points, [both laughing] but coffee theory just doesn't deserve the time of day.

G: I mean the "Metatron was listening so they're doing elaborate kayfabe," like, you're insane. [both laugh] I'm sorry. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you doing? Did you really look at Crowley's face in that scene and went, "Oh, yeah, they're doing a very heightened production of this situation."

C: I mean, the Metatron came in, and he expected them to have a giant blowout crying fight ending in a kiss. [G laughs] Like, you're right. They were like, "What would the Metatron want to see? What would he expect?" And they were like, "That one? Let's do that one." [laughs]

G: I mean for the Crowley stopped time, I just- I don't think it's true that they were able to talk before he left the shop, but-

C: I think the reasoning for that is because of, probably, the clock ticking sound. 'Cause like, when it's absent and when it's happening, people are probably like, "Well, why is the sound gone? Does it indicate something about time?" Which I think is like, a reasonable thing to think, but I feel like it was just like, for the effects of it.

G: It's reasonable. And I mean, I've talked about how like, that scene where they were like, looking at each other before Aziraphale steps into that elevator is like, slowed down. It's in slow-mo. [C: Right.] I was thinking of that, and I was thinking of this, and I was like, "But never in a million years would I have been like, 'And that's because Crowley has stopped time so they can talk before Aziraphale steps in that elevator.'"

C: Yeah, I don't think so.

G: I just don't think it's true. Yeah. And like, again, if there is evidence of this, fine. But I feel of this the exact same way I feel about Raphael, which is that, "Okay. There's evidence, okay. If it does happen, okay, I hate it, though. [C laughing] Like, I still hate it. Like, I still think it's stupid." You know? [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I still think it defeats the purpose.

C: Yeah. Oh, also, I feel like in our previous recordings, it seemed like I was like, "Yeah, he probably is doing Raphael!Crowley. Ugh." But actually, I've changed my mind. I don't think he is. [laughs] I don't think it's happening. I think Crowley was just higher-ranking, and that's it.

G: I mean, I really doubt that it would be Raphael specifically, but if it does play that Crowley is a higher-ranking angel, I'm like, okay, fine, fine.

C: Yeah, I don't even think Crowley is an archangel. I think Crowley was just like, bit higher than Aziraphale.

G: Yeah. But also, I feel like Crowley's a bit of a "thinks she's more important than she is." [both laugh] Like, "Oh, I didn't work on the plans, but like, we really worked close for this one!" [C, laughing: That's true!] And then, like, gets fired a year later. [both laugh] Like, okay, go Crowley!

C: For real. For realsies.

G: That shit is so funny.

C: "Yeah, like I worked really closely with upstairs on it," and it was just like, God accidentally, like, cc-ing Crowley on an email.

G: For real. Oh, our next question is actually from poprockringpop, but [laughs] for some reason, I wrote-

C: [laughing] You wrote "popcockringpop."

G: - for our questionnaire. [both laugh] No, but the thing is, every time I read this username- amazing username, by the way. poprockringpop. I read it as popcockringpop, which, you know, if you want to change your username up, spice it up a little bit [C laughs], that's a very viable option for you, poprockringpop. [C: Mm.] But the question is, "I think we all have thoughts about how our ethereal faves, as characters, would or should reconcile." First of all, Crowley is occult. [C laughs] Put respect on Crowley's name [both laughing] as an occult being. "but what’s your best guess for how Neil will have them start out season 3 and make their way back to each other, hug, and then do it in the street?" [C: Real!] Why are you not brave enough to say "fuck it raw in street"? But for fucking real though. "I keep thinking it’ll be more lighthearted than we’re all imagining but tbh I have no idea."

C: I mean, what I want and what I think will happen are quite different. [G: Yeah.] I have difficulty imagining what it will be. I feel like they're gonna be forced together by plot circumstances around Episode 3, and I feel like- I don't know, I think they'll probably form a begrudging ally thing.

G: I don't think they're going to reconcile immediately. Yeah, exactly.

C: I think they're gonna cross their arms and huff at each other and like, snipe at each other. Like, it's gonna be like, like, a divorcees vibe.

G: Yeah, it's going to be Season 15, Episode 9 of Supernatural: "The Trap." Is that what it's called? Or is it "The Rupture"? Is it "The Rupture"?

C: No, it's "The Trap." "The Rupture"'s the one Rowena dies in.

G: [laughing] And then "The Rapture" is in Season 4. Okay, yeah.

C: Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about, [G: Of course you don't.] because I only know about the apology.

G: There's the prayer in that one. Ahhh! The one where Dean kneels.

C: Yeah. But like, what do you mean it's gonna be like Season 15, Episode 9? Oh, do they bitch at each other a lot first?

G: Yes, very much so. They're mad at each other. I mean, the entire season from Episode 3 to Episode 9, they're mad at each other, and they're just like, you know, fighting and bickering and all that. And then Episode 9 is the one where they're actually forced together to like, do something because the other times it's like, they break up, Dean calls, you know, stuff like that. So they're fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting, and then Cas gets like, [laughs] kidnapped by some guy or whatever. I mean, they're in Purgatory for this one. And then, at the Dean, at a moment of fear-

C: Yeah, does the apology prayer.

G: - "maybe Cas is gone for good," just kneels and prays. [C: Uh-huh. Yeah.] Well! [laughs] It's Crover!

C: Okay, right, they're gonna bicker a lot. Every fic where it's like [laughs], "Crowley sells a book out of spite, and that forces Aziraphale down to Earth to yell at her and that's the first time they've talked since the end of Season 2" is wonderful. That should happen. I don't think it's gonna happen, though.

G: I think it's going to be funny, is what it is. Like, that may as well happen. I think- I mean, I think it would be funny. 'Cause, I mean, Good Omens purports to be a funny show.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Purports to be indeed. [G laughs]

G: I mean, Season 1 was funny. Season 2, not so much.

C: Season 1 was sometimes funny. I feel like after the plot stuff ends- I think Neil Gaiman is corny as hell in a bad way. [G laughs] I feel like they're probably just gonna go to the Ritz, and then like, kiss, and like, not talk about anything. That's what I think it is.

G: The thing is, I would like a nice quiet moment between them, just like the bench before the bus ride in Season 1.

C: Yeah, that would be nice.

G: Or you know, something akin to the morning confession. I'm still stuck on the fact that that thing happened in the morning. [C laughs] Like,I think about it sometimes, and I'm like, "Oh my god! It happened in the morning." It would be nice if their reconciliation happened in Crowley's flat. Do you think that's a weird thing to say?

C: [laughing] Why would it be a weird thing to say?

G: I don't know! [laughs] Yeah, they should reconcile in Crowley's flat so they have a bed to fuck in.

C: They should reconcile in Crowley's flat. [laughs] But like- no, yeah, I mean, you mean just because, like, the bookshop was the site of the last divorce, so it's good for them to reconcile it like, a place that isn't-

G: No, I think it depends on what the reconciliation is going to be like, which again, as I've said many times, is still up in the air regarding how Season 3 pans out. But, I don't know. I feel like a lot of the confession, even though we frequently talk about it from, you know, Crowley's terms, like, a lot of it was like, Aziraphale asking for something, and then Crowley denying. Because, I mean, even Crowley's confession, because of how the conversation went, even though it was the initial intention to confess already, it became like, more a response, then, to Aziraphale’s ask. So like, do you understand? Like, we're at Aziraphale’s home base.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: And like, I think it would be interesting to do a conversation where it's Crowley's home base and therefore, Crowley's conversation. And I think- you know. I mean, I'm not even saying that I want it to happen in Crowley flat. Like, that's just kind of like a- I want it to be like, Crowley's. [C: Yeah.] I don't know what I'm saying. You get it, though. Just like basketball.

C: Yeah. Well, perhaps it can happen in the Bentley.

G: Oh god! [laughs] Yeah, it could! It could happen in the Bentley! Oh god! That's miserable.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, god, do you think Neil Gaiman's gonna make one of them do the fucking apology dance? I don't want it. I don't want it. I hope it's dead and gone.

G: I don't want it. Keep your divorce out of this show, Neil Gaiman. [both laughing] Is that so mean? Should I cut that out? It's funny.

C: No, it's literally- Everyone was thinking it. Or at least everyone, meaning me, was thinking it. [G laughing]

C: Right, another anon asked, "Question for the Q&A: have you guys seen and/or how do you feel about various disabled!Crowley headcanons?" I haven't, really. Sorry, I haven't seen many.

G: I did a quick scroll through AO3, and most of it is alternate universe, which I do have [C: Dislike.] X-ed out most of the time. [C: Yeah.] So that's probably why I haven't seen a lot of it, but I have read a fic where, when they do the bodyswap - so this is like, you know, Good Omens universe - when they do the bodyswap, Aziraphale goes, "Why are your shoulders lopsided?" And Crowley's like, "That's not true. That's a lie, you're lying to me." And Aziraphale’s like, "Yeah, it is." And I don't know. I like that. Go scoliosis queen! Other than that, I don't really- I haven't really seen a lot of it. But, you know. I think it's wonderful. [laughs] I think it's wonderful to be able to project that onto fictional characters. I think it's wonderful specifically for Aziraphale and Crowley who are ethereal and occult being to have to be like, "Yeah, they're, you know, they're immortal, blah blah blah, and they, you know, still experience-" for example, chronic pain, or, you know, other kinds of disabilities. One of my favorite things I have ever done in fandom is write a Cas psoriasis fic. I found that very- I don't know. It was very nice. It was very nice for meto do it. And then, when I put that fic out into the universe, like, so many people, were like, you know, saying like, "Oh, this is so wonderful! I also have some semblance of a skin disease," whether it's psoriasis or otherwise, "and the scenes presented in this fic, like, really touched me." [C: Yeah.] It's, you know, I feel like disabilities still are one of those things where people are uncomfortable to interact with it in a positive way because the implication is always like, "But like, why would I do that when it's a cause of suffering?" or whatever. And it's like, but it's also like, a part of my life, though. You know? [C: Yeah.] So like, for me, I think I have- even though it sucks, and I know it sucks- like, I have to be able to deal with it in some semblance of a positive way of channeling that through headcanons or fanfiction. I'm sure it like, helps a lot of people, so, including, you know, the people making it and the people consuming it. So, wonderful! I think it's wonderful.

C: Yeah. Next question from another anon, "If Crowley and Aziraphale had been played by female actors, how differently do you think the fandom would’ve responded to their characters? For instance, do you think certain character choices would be more harshly scrutinized or that they’d be a less popular pairing?" Yeah.

G: This is such an interesting question.

C: It's a good question.

G: When I read that I was like- I've been thinking about it since it's been sent in, and I still don't really know how to answer it. What do you- I mean, you just said "Yeah," immediately.

C: Yeah, I think so.

G: For both? You think both is true? For me, I think it depends. Harshly scrutinized- If Good Omens book is Aziraphale as it is, and like, Aziraphale and Crowley in the book are seen as men, I think Good Omens the TV show Aziraphale and Crowley would be more harshly scrutinized than the book. For a less popular pairing, perhaps, if it was like, the book Aziraphale and Crowley are seen as men and then played by female actors, I think maybe it would garner some more attraction. To people like me, I mean, [laughs] I don't know to other people, but I would have definitely watched it earlier. [C: That's true.] But I don't know. I think if it was like, they were female-presenting in the books and then female-presenting in the show also, it would be definitely less popular, I think, to the point where there wouldn't even be a TV show at all.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Which is highly unfortunate.

G: Unfortunate. And also, I mean, we've talked about this- well, in passing, we have like, one line about it in, I think it was like, in 1.06 where I go, "I know Neil Gaiman wrote Aziraphale and Crowley thinking of them as men in his head because he wrote them like people." [C: Yeah.] And you look at all the other women he's written, and they're not written like people. So I don't know.

C: Though I feel like it would mostly be okay with these two characters, because he already like, wrote them out. I think if the script is close enough to the book that I don't think he would add in like, shitty things after he decided he was gonna cast two women

G: No, I'm talking mostly about if the book itself was different. [C: Oh, okay, right.] Like, original way of writing Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens book, thinking of them as women. I think it would be completely different than the book as it is right now.

C: Yeah, I think the jokes made would be quite annoying to look at.

G: Definitely.

C: I feel like the fandom reaction, I feel like they were cast as Aziraphale as like, a lot- like, as motherly, which, like, I don't think he is at all as a character.

G: Yeah, definitely not.

C: And that would be pretty irritating to see.

G: You know how like, when there's literally any woman who's hot, [C laughs] and then people don't like, engage with the woman character as a character.

C: Yeah, and they just make fancams? Yeah.

G: Yeah, and they just go like, "Step on me, mommy," or whatever.

C: Yeah, that's what Crowley would become.

G: That's what Crowley would become, definitely. [laughing] Even thinking about it is filling me with so much rage, but yeah.

C: Yeah. I feel like Aziraphale’s faith journey, people would be more predisposed to call him brainwashed, so yeah, I guess that's more harsh scrutinization.

G: They would definitely go like, "Oh, they're like, I don't know, you know, those lesbians who can't talk to each other." Fucking- [laughing]

C: Oh, right, like, "useless lesbians"? That thing? [G: Yes.] Right. The approach to them and like, Adam and Warlock. [G: Hm!]I don't know. There's gonna be posts that are like, "It's so important that Good Omens said that women can want to kill children." [both laughing] That's what I perceive.

G: For fucking real. "It's feminist that they want to shoot that kid." [both laughing] Well, maybe it is!

C: Yeah. Right, I feel like for Aziraphale, they would vary between calling her like, motherly and stuff and calling her like, a girlboss [laughs] because she's a business owner and an entrepreneur. [G laughing] And yeah, I mean- the interpretations of their characters would just be a lot more flat. I feel like people would like- Yeah, I feel like people would still ship them, but like, less people would watch the show at all. [G: Yeah.] Their dynamic is already- like, people already sort of impose weird gender norms on their dynamics in fic already, I feel like it's gonna be worse if they're women because of the flattening of their characters that would occur. It would indeed be worse, and that would be sad. Though, I mean, I guess there's also the fact that you're right that probably a different audience would come in if they were both played by actresses, and that could change how the fandom reacts to them. 'Cause I'm just thinking about the current fandom and not like, the imaginary other fandom that would happen. And like, I don't know. I feel like there's- there's enough- The thing is, we sort of- we have femslash Aziraphale and Crowley.

G: I mean, I don't know what the hell Good Omens fandom is like, first of all, but I don't know why I'm saying "yeah" to all of this, [C laughs] but yeah, go on.

C: We have femslash Aziraphale and Crowley on the AO3. And they're great.

G: Oh yeah, of course. I mean, I've read pretty much all of it, yeah.

C: They're usually great. But it's like, is that- I do wonder if- I feel like for some people, that depth of character for femslash Aziraphale and Crowley was more easily accessible because they were men first, but I feel like not everyone is like that. I feel like people would be better at interpreting them- like, for a few people, and if that is the audience that is being drawn in via this casting like, maybe it would, in fact, be a wonderful place to be, and there would be none of the issues we said. Yeah, but if it was like, at the level of Tumblr popularity that it is now, and they were both women, it would be pretty bad.

G: Yeah, unbearable. Yeah.

C: If it was like, niche as a result of them both being women, I think it could be- it could be nice.

G: Yeah. But isn't it so frustrating to think, "Oh, if they're both women, it would be niche"?

C: Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] It is pretty frustrating.

I mean, I guess I also wonder what their outfits would be if they were both women.

G: Yes, I do also. Like, what would Crowley's look be like?

C: We've seen them style women in Good Omens, and like, it's pretty great. Like, their outfits are all great, so.

G: No, but like, we're talking like, Aziraphale and Crowley.

C: Yeah, if it was Supernatural, I would have like, so much fear about like, how they were just gonna give Crowley a-

G: No, not even thinking of that. Not even thinking of that. The common question too, when you're reading lesbian Aziraphale and Crowley fanfiction,which is like, "How are they going to play with the gender presentation in this one?" And like, I feel like that is a very interesting thing to ask about Aziraphale and Crowley, especially if we are to assume that the book is written as they're both male-presenting.

C: Yeah, that's what I'm assuming.

G: 'Cause like, you know, like, Aziraphale is all often portrayed as like, you know, gay, [C: Mm-hm.] and like, obviously so. And it's like, "Okay, so how do we translate that to a woman?" A female presenting person. How do we do that?

C: I believe in like, butch Aziraphale rights, but I don't know if that is how they would adapt it.

G: For our next question, it's from our wonderful friend Wanni. "for the Q&A"-

C: Yeah. Hii!

G: Hi! "first of all love you both <3."

C: Heart emoji back.

G: "for my question if you could put az ( sorry still can’t spell his name ) [C: Real.] and crowley in any fictional universe what would it be?" Wonderful question. Can I put them in the fictional universe of Manila, Philippines? [both laughing] I think it'd be wonderful.

C: I was literally gonna be like, "the fictional universe of my life." [G laughs]

G: Literally. The fictional universe of the street where I frequent, yeah. [C laughs]

C: I mean, obviously, they should do a Much Ado About Nothing AU at some point, [G: Oh, of course, yeah.] but I don't think that's like, the best answer.

G: I don't think it's a one-to-one thing, though, for Much Ado. Like, who's who? We've had this conversation before? Let's have it again 'cause I forgot what I said.

C: Aziraphale is Benedick.

G: Why did I say that? Did I say that, or did you say that?

C: You said it in 1.04 because I was talking about how, after he hears that from the Metatron, he decides he can't be a part of this any more, and it's similar to Benedick quitting Don Pedro's company after the shaming Hero shit.

G: I think I said at some point to you that I want Crowley to go, "Alas, poor heart." So I want Crowley to be Beatrice.

C: Mm-hm. Though I guess in this case, Hero is like, the Earth, [both laugh] so like, I don't know how that's gonna play out.

G: Yeah, no, I also don't know. The thing about Aziraphale and Crowley is like, they're barely enemies to lovers. Like, they're not. They're not. They're begrudging co-workers to- I mean, I've said this before, but like, Aziraphale and Crowley is not like, "don't fuck your coworker," it's "do not start a business with your love interest." [both laugh] And yeah. We should do a Succession AU [C laughing]. It's literally not Succession at all, they're just two normal people who start a business together. [laughs]

C: I think there are other shows about that, but none that I can think of.

G: I mean, in Fleabag, they start a business together, and then the best friend kills herself, right?

C: That's true, but not for the business-starting reasons. And not on purpose.

G: Not on purpose, yeah.

C: Neither- they can't do Fleabag because I feel like it would be too Crowley-centric to have them be like, the only narrator.

G: Yeah, there's a lot of vampire fics on the AO3s for them. Usually, it's Crowley as the vampire. I think Aziraphale would be the vampire, though. I think that'll be more fun. It's more fun! Or maybe they're both vampires, and they're just, you know, annoyed at each other, which is also possible. You know, when I was first brainstorming about this, I thought to myself initially that like, it's essential that they're in a universe where they're immortal in some way, because, like, I think a big part of their relationship- it's not even the fact that they're an angel and a demon, and have [overlapping] nothing whatsoever in common!

C: "I don't even like you!" [G laughs] Yeah.

G: Yeah. It's about the fact that they always think that there's next time, and I think that's what shapes the relationship the most, the "next time." "One day." And like, I mean, I'm softened up to the idea of them not being immortal, with that in mind, because I feel like I thought I was thinking of it in a like, comparing and contrasting 6000 years versus normal human life span of 60 to 70 or 80 years, but now that I think about it, I feel like it does happen in life, too. Like, you and me. You know? Us people. We do still tend to think, "Okay, maybe next time." Like, we always still tend to think that we have more time than we actually do. [C: Mm-hm.] So I think it's it's reasonable to put them in a timeline where they're bound to die.

C: And then, I mean, I guess the obvious crossover is Supernatural, but like-

G: Booo!

C: - the way Sam and Dean fling holy water around, like, Crowley would be gone like, first episode, so let's keep her out of there.

G: Yeah. I do not want them near Aziraphale and/or Crowley

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. It would be fun if Aziraphale and Crowley killed them [laughs], but like, I don't think it's gonna happen.

G: The whole time, Dean would be like, "Okay, Cr-ow-ley." [C laughs] And Crowley is like, "It's Crowley!" I also want them to be in the fictional universe of a 7-11. I've been saying this. They need to be like, in a 7-11.

C: They should be in a Costco. The ceilings are really really tall.

G: Yeah, there's like, beams and shit, yeah.

C: They should fly around in the rafters of a Costco. [both laugh]

G: Exactly. There's like, giant like, air stuff in there. You know, those giant like- you know what I mean? It's like, the air conditioning is like, giant pipes. [C: Oh, yeah.] They should fly inside of those pipes. [C: Yeah.] They should sit on the corner of a pipe and just like, look down at the people

C: They should.

G: Ohh! I've been thinking about what it would be like for Aziraphale and Crowley to grocery shop. They would be the most annoying couple in the grocery store. And 'tis be the truth.

C: I mean, neither of them have cooked a day in their life also.

G: Yeah. But like, Aziraphale's like, "What if we make a charcuterie board?" [both laugh] And then they're in the fucking cheese section for six hours, and then a worker comes in and is like, "Um, we're closing." [laughing] And Aziraphale's like, [C laughing] "Crowley stop the time so we can have more time to choose the cheese."

C: For real and actual.

-

G: Our next question, two-parter. Two-parter. It's a duo. It's a group of the two of them. [both laugh] And the first one is from anonymous, and it goes, "Oh I would LOVE to hear that Destiel vs A/C comparison/debate," which is something we mentioned in, I think, Episode 11. If you don't know, after our episode ends, after the music stuff at the end, we have like, extra stuff. We just talk some more. And we talk about it in there. And, you know, they requested it for the Q&A. And then the other part of this question is from another anon, "Age old question-"

C: Wait, we're doing those together? They're very different.

G: No no no, I'm just connecting them together. [C: Okay. Okay.] So the age-old question for the Q&A is "Aziraphale or Castiel?" So first, let's do the Destiel vs Aziraphale and Crowley.

C: Okay, Aziraphale and Crowley, I'm on their side, and you're on fucking Destiel's side, I'm assuming.

G: [laughing] I'm on Destiel. Well, it's not that-

C: Well, okay, try to defend yourself. Just try.

G: Shhhh! [C laughs] It's not a debate, more like, you insist that-

C: They're not best friends, and they aren't.

G: - [laughing] Okay, maybe it's a debate. Yeah, like, if you were to say, "Oh, Aziraphale and Crowley are better than Destiel," I'm like, "Okay, that's fine." And you're like, "Aziraphale and Crowley is better than Destiel 'cause Destiel aren't even best friends!"

C: And they aren't.

G: - and I will fight you to the death. [C laughs]

C: And they aren't.

G: They literally are best friends, though!

C: Why?

G: "You're my best friend, but I just let you go, but it was easier than admitting that I was wrong."

C: Okay, like, he said that. So what? Does he even know what friendship is? I don't think so. [G laughing]

G: Who cares?

C: People can just say things. It doesn't mean anything.

G: Who cares? Who- Love represents itself in different ways for different people; we all know this; we all like, can we conceptualize this.

C: Do they respect each other?

G: Why cannot we conceptualize this for best friendship? It's different for everyone. It's different for everyone.

C: Do they respect each other? Does Dean respect Castiel? Does the "Your Dog" AMV that you yourself made indicate that Dean respects Castiel? [both laughing]

G: Season 15 changes the deal! That AMV ends- the last scene is from Season 15, Episode 3. But the show does go out of its way to go "But Dean is trying to be better. We will proceed-"

C: Is he trying to be better by pressuring Castiel's son into sacrificing his life to like, do that Adam and Seraphina thing, also by like, saying Jack isn't part of their family? [G laughs] Is that Dean trying for his best friend? [G laughs]

G: That's separate! You have to sequester that shit!

C: They're not separate! They're not separate!

G: No, yeah, I know.

C: A lot of their relationship ruptures because of Jack. Dean was gonna fucking kill that kid!

G: Yeah. [laughs] But that's a different question. The question isn't "Do they treat each other right?" The question is, "Are they best friends?" And you know what? You can have a toxic best friendship with someone.

C: Okay, fine. Okay, you think that they're best friends, but they don't treat each other well, [G laughs] and Dean tries to kill Cas's kid at every opportunity. But you think they are still best friends?

G: Yes.

C: It's different from like, your closest friend! [laughs] It's not the same thing.

G: Of course it's not the same.

C: Yeah, I know. And okay, I guess your point is that their lives are intertwined enough that you would call them best friends? Are their lives that intertwined?

G: Yes.

C: Like, are they? Like, why?

G: [laughing] What do you mean "why"?

C: Or, why do you claim that?

G: Why do I claim that their lives are intertwined? Because it is!

C: Uh-huh. And?

G: They're a family, etc etc! "Lebanon," Season 14, Episode 14, I think.

C: Yeah, I guess "Cas was like our third brother" is what he says. [G laughs] Is that what he says?

G: Which is- Cas is the third brother of the show. [both laugh] Words will come out of those guys' mouths. No, but the thing is- this isn't a discussion of Destiel vs A/C now.

C: Aziraphale and Crowley are better best friends than Destiel. We can do that.

G: No, here's my thing. Here's my thing, right? Aziraphale and Crowley are able to exist in both high-pressure situations and low-pressure situations. Like, they experience those like, harsh highs and lows of life, but they also get to like, just show up into each other's spaces, hang out, not a care in the world, you know, etc etc.

C: Hm-hm. Which is important to best friendship.

G: Yeah. And with Dean and Castiel, you cannot hold it against them that they're never given a break. They make do with what they have. You cannot compare Dean and Castiel's relationship to the normal best friendship of-

C: [laughing] The normal best friendships of the 6000-year-old-

G: - the ones that you have or that I have.

C: - angel and demon in Good Omens?

G: No, yeah! Exactly! You cannot compare them to those relationships because those relationships have room to breathe.

C: Not really in the present-day actual whatever. The only time they've sat together-

G: It does! They have four years! Four years hanging out!

C: Yeah, but we didn't see it. I'm talking about stuff we see. Like, I mean, off-screen, we know that Dean have watched movies together, whatever.

G: Well then, they're not best friends then! [laughing] If we're just talking entirely of the shit we see on screen! What's your proof, then, that Aziraphale and Crowley-

C: We see bookshop drunk scene! Bookshop drunk scene is everything! It's the most important thing that's ever happened!

G: Booo!

C: We see Rome. We see him inviting Crowley to have oysters with him in Rome. That's best friendship, like, budding best friendship.

G: Yeah! And, okay, the Rome scene, I've talked about this in my own personal life, [C laughs] but, like, the whole point of the Rome scene, is like, that's one of the few moments in their life that they're not both in there for a job against each other, and like, Aziraphale is like, literally just hanging out. So they're able to have that fun banter-

C: They don't have jobs against each other on-screen that often. Like, what times in the flashback were they directly opposing each other besides Wessex?

G: No, listen to me first!

C: [laughs] Okay! Okay!

G: [laughing] Listen to me- So in that scene, they're not opposing each other, and also, there's no other issue at hand. And then that scene, like, you see that Aziraphale is so bright and so happy about seeing Crowley, etc etc, 'cause like, it is just an opportunity for them to hang out. And like, do you not think that if Dean and Castiel just had an opportunity to hang out, like, that they wouldn't?

C: No, I don't think they would. [laughs]

G: Well, that's on you. That's not on me. That's on you, [C laughing] and that's not on Destiel; that's on you. Booo!

C: No, it's on Destiel being the worse ship.

G: Boo! Boo!

C: It's about Destiel being the worse one.

G: Boo! Boo!

C: Were they best friends for 6000 years? I don't think so.

G: What, were you best friends with your best friend for 6000 years? Fuck off!

C: I just think that- okay, how long were- First off, Destiel were never best friends. [G laughs] How long do you claim they were best friends?

G: I think they were best friends since...

C: Season 8?

G: Season 12.

C: 12. Okay. [G laughs] Yeah.

G: So three years. Yeah.

C: Okay, that's nothing!

G: Yeah, but it's everything to me.

C: Well, it's nothing to me. And it's nothing to them. [both laughing]

G: It's literally not nothing.

C: I mean, not to just- I know that this is just bad writing, but like, he sure got over it really fast, didn't he?

G: You can't count that in. That's unfair. You can't count that in.

C: I mean, okay. So okay, then, you can't count that in-

G: Crowley was just sitting there watching Aziraphale about to give Booked of Life, but we're not counting that in, are we? We're not counting that in, are we?

C: I am counting that in!

G: Well then, they're not best friends! He's literally just gonna watch that angel die.

C: I mean, he was blurry. Like, we don't know exactly what she's feeling in that moment.

G: Boo! That's not true, that's not true, [C laughs] that's a lie, you're lying to yourself!

C: There was a shot afterwards, right? Like, there wasn't a shot during the threat.

G: No. He literally is just lounging on that thing.

C: Okay. We can keep that [laughs] if I can keep Dean getting over Cas's death so fast at the end of Season 15. I think one of those is more damning. Okay, whatever. We will never agree on whether or not Dean and Cas are best friends [G: Yeah.], so we can argue on other points, I suppose. Like, is there any femslash Destiel out there that's good? I don't think so.

G: No, absolutely none, yeah.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah. Do they get to magically switch genitals and pronouns and like, just gender presentations whenever the fuck they want? I don't think so!

G: Well, you can't either! [laughing] Are you-

C: [laughing] Wait, what does that have to- We're comparing them to Destiel! Why am I here? We're comparing Aziraphale and Crowley to Destiel! What? This isn't about whether or not they're best friends! [laughing] You don't need to be able to swap genitals to be best friends. What are we talking about? What?

G: [laughing] I don't even know! [laughs] Okay, go on. Proceed with your tirade against me, personally. [C laughing]

C: [laughing] You're right. This is against you, personally. I'm going, "Grey, can you swap your genitals? I don't think so. [G laughing] Therefore, Aziraphale and Crowley are better than Destiel." This is logic. [both laughing]

No, okay, like, I think that the possibilities with Aziraphale and Crowley are so much larger than the possibilities with Destiel. Aziraphale and Crowley, like, have lived every historical AUs that you could have and every like, gender combo that you can have, and like, both have powers.

G: This is true.

C: I just think that they're just so much more interesting because of that.

G: Yes, I do agree with that one.

C: Okay.

G: I think a part of it is, like, with Aziraphale and Crowley, like, I would never read an AU. For Destiel, I probably would.

C: Yeah, 'cause they're lacking.

G: It's because the universe of Good Omens is already so full. Like, anything that you can throw in there, you probably can apply. With Destiel, it's a bit different.

C: Yeah. And worse, one might say.

G: I mean, one of those things appeal to people- would like, appeal to different people differently.

C: You can still have AUs for Good Omens, like, you just have less things-

G: Yeah, but they're not.

C: Are Destiel AUs good?

G: [laughs] I have not read a Destiel fic for a long, long, long, long time.

C: Yeah, me neither. I don't think I will again, honestly.

G: Probably me too.

C: But like, yeah, I don't know. Okay, I guess the other avenue- Okay, I'm glad we're agreed on that one. The other avenue is who's more in love, and it's Aziraphale and Crowley, thank you, next! [both laughing]

G: Yeah.

C: Oh, wow! You're not gonna argue that one?

G: I don't know. It depends, I guess, on what we define love as. If it's an emotion, I do think I can make the case for Destiel. If it's an action, Aziraphale and Crowley love each other more.

C: Yeah. And if it's an emotion, you can make a case for Destiel? I just- I truly think that both Dean and Cas could get over it, and I don't think Aziraphale and Crowley could get over it.

G: Yeah, I think Aziraphale and Crowley can get over it.

C: Really?

G: Yeah.

C: How?

G: I think you can get over anything, including the both of them.

C: Okay, I think Destiel could get over it a lot faster and a lot easier.

G: Hmm. I don't think the easiness of moving on or the quickness of it defines anything, so I can't engage with that-

C: Okay, so you mean I'm right? [laughing] So you mean I'm correct?

G: I mean, you're probably right, but I don't see it as relevant.

C: - but you're saying that's not a valuable point.

G: Yes. Yes.

C: Okay. What is a valuable point regarding the strength of the emotion?

G: What you're willing to do for each other? And I do think, like, Dean and Cas are in the more self-sacrificial avenue than Aziraphale and Crowley. When I think about like-

C: Yeah. It's also the fictional universe that they're in, though. [G: Yeah.] Like, people are trying to kill themselves, like, every episode in Supernatural.

G: Yeah. And, I mean, I can say the same thing about Aziraphale and Crowley and their epic highs and lows of their relationship.

C: That what?

G: I mean, like what I said earlier, how like, they're given room to breathe, and they're able to be better friends because of it.

C: Okay, yeah, fictional universe, blah blah blah, yeah.

G: Yes. I think in 12.1, we talked about how- You were like, "Oh, maybe Crowley went up there," like, "According to my friend, they thought Crowley went up there to like, offer themselves up before Heaven so that they wouldn't touch Aziraphale." And I was like, "That's not true. Crowley wouldn't do that." because Crowley isn't self-sacrificing like that. Now, we can talk about whether love is supposed to be self-sacrificing or not, but if we are to define it as such, Destiel is a bit higher in that category.

C: Yeah, I agree with that. Though I still don't- I don't know why you were so fast to say "Crowley wouldn't do that."

G: You think Crowley would?

C: I would not be as fast to say that Crowley wouldn't.

G: Well, I'm quicker. [C laughs]

C: I think there are circumstances under which Crowley would-

G: [laughing] I've suddenly just become the greatest asshole when we reached this question.

C: I mean, we were asked to debate. I think both of us have have leniency to be assholes.

G: [laughing] No, my argument earlier. "Well, you can't, either!" [laughing] That's so fucking petty! [C laughing]

C: Yeah, and you also asked me how long I've been friends with my best friend. Yeah, you were very quick to turn this personal, Grey. Tsk tsk!

G: No, because when we first brought up this argument, it was personal! You name-dropped people.

C: Yeah, I name-dropped Hilson, mostly.

G: Yeah! Yeah.

C: Which is not a person from my life.

G: [laughing] No, actually, you're right! I think I name-dropped Danica [C laughing] in that conversation!

C: Are you looking through our history? Or-

G: No, I'm not. I'm just remembering it in my head. [laughing] I literally said, like- I think I said, "You cannot compare Dean and Castiel to like, someone with a more stable existence like [C laughing] House and Wilson and you and Danica." [both laughing]

C: God. So true.

G: [laughing] I'm literally a fucking asshole. [C laughs] Okay, well-

C: Okay, what were we on? We were on the point that- Oh, right. I think there are circumstances under which Crowley would self-sacrifice. I guess you could definitely argue that the bodyswap was like-

G: But that's equal.

C: Both of them were willing to risk death for each other.

G: Yeah, but that's equal.

C: That's true. I'd say- yeah, and both of them could be trapped in Heaven or Hell. Okay, wait, so you're saying self-sacrifice has to be unequal?

G: Yeah, 'cause it's self sacrifice if like, "Either I die or I don't die, and I'm choosing to die for you."

C: Okay.

G: But like, with Aziraphale and Crowley's bodyswap, it's like, "We're gonna die both ways, so let's try this thing out where we can possibly not die."

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. They're both going into the unknown depths, though. But you're right, that it's just like- it's an equal exchange or whatever. Though I guess the way that this is being defined is making me want to turn to the like, "Should we even define self-sacrifice as part of love" thing, though, because currently, I feel like it shouldn't be. Anything that you're claiming is one-sided, I don't think should be a main component of love.

G: I mean, that's true. I mean, I'm furiously on the side of "You cannot be in love if it's one-sided." [C: Mm.] Yeah. I just don't think that's being in love.

C: Right, okay, so what are the components that we're actually arguing based off of?

G: Nothing! Love is different for every single person. [both laughing] We've been arguing for like, I don't even fucking know how long, and I'm like, "And there's no argument even going on!" So true.

C: I- I still want to win. [laughs] But if you're like, "Well, there's no true winner or loser here 'cause love is different for every single person, and love is love is love," then I don't know where to go from there, so yeah.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So, I mean, the next question is, of course, "Aziraphale or Castiel?"

C: On this one, we're more agreed, I think. It's Castiel.

G: Castiel, yeah.

C: Sorry Aziraphale! It is Crowley over Castiel, though. But like, yeah.

G: Oh, for you? I think Castiel is-

C: Well, you have to remember that I met both of these people before I met Castiel.

G: Earlier. Before you met Castiel. Yeah. I've known Castiel for forever. Like, Castiel is like a brother for me, for fucking real. But also, I've known Castiel longer than I've had my little sister. You know. Like, Castiel has been in my life. Yeah, so I feel like it will take quite a lot to beat Cas. And Cas is kind of like the- like, characters come and go. Castiel, for me, is like tthe backdrop. And then I get into something real, real, real, real deep, and then I get out of it, and then Castiel's still there. [both laugh] You know what I mean?

C: Yeah.

G: So that's kind of the situation I have with Cas. And also because we just see more of Cas. Like, there's more of Cas. And Cas, throughout the seasons, you can make a case that, like, all those Cas-es are different people going through different stuff, different mindsets, you know. There's no like, one journey for Cas. I don't think it's just for me. I think, for many people, it's easy to relay your experiences on him a bit better because, like, [laughs] he's just been through so much, and you've seen it all. And like, I'm not saying that the only way to love a character is to relay your experiences onto them, but I think it does affect their staying power when you're able to go through something in life and think, "Ah, just like Castiel for real." [C laughing] You know what I mean?

C: Yeah. I mean, why Cas over Aziraphale for me? I mean, I had a period of being deeply, deeply obsessed with Cas that I never really had with Aziraphale, so like, I guess that's still pinging around in my brain.

G: Again, like, you've said it, right? Like, if it's Crowley vs Castiel, like, Crowley is the answer for you. [C: Yeah.] So I feel like this question is really more targeted towards me because it's like, Aziraphale’s my fave [C: That's true.] in Good Omens, so I think that's reasonable.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Also, I just don't think that Aziraphale's gonna, like, Season 3, come into a church, choke a homophobe to death, and then like, turn Jesus into him on stained glass. Like, I just don't see it for him

G: [laughs] He's so funny! Castiel is the funniest guy ever.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale will just never have a Godstiel arc, and I feel like that was- yeah, that pussy cunt slay is quite important to me.

-

G: So our next question is from [laughs] the frequently name-dropped in our last question, Danica.

C: Hii!

G: And the question is, "pressing question that i want you to answer on air i wanna know like eeeevery thought youve ever had about afterparty!omens like [laughing] i really wanna waste every one of ur listeners time with like afterparty!omens shot by shot descriptions." Again, this is a-

C: [laughs] I'm so glad you asked.

G: - Crystal-specific question. [laughs] I have no idea what any of these words mean.

C: What? No? [laughing] Danica meant this question just for you, Grey! You answer it! [both laughing] No, but-

G: I know about Afterparty solely because of Danica. Like, [laughing] Danica was like, "Grey, you should watch it," and I literally didn't, so. [C: Yeah.] That's the literally the only way that I know it.

C: Yeah, yeah. Afterparty!Omens, okay, I guess the point is that The Afterparty- I've only seen Season 1 'cause apparently, Season 2 is so bad that Danica doesn't want to do that to me or to anyone living [laughs], is that it's a murder mystery set at like, a high school reunion party, and each episode is like, a character being interviewed by the cops about what happened at the party, and like, they give, like, their perspective on what's happening, and they all like, view their life through a different genre. Like, Aniq views his life as a romcom, and Brett as like, this action movie, and Zoe as, like, a cartoon, etc etc. And like, it's all, you know, giving different perspectives on what happened that night, and how like, each of them saw different interactions or like, pieces of interactions, and then, like, you know, some of them are concealing things, including who did the murder. So yeah. But I guess the point of Afterparty!Omens is just that, like, I think Season 2 would be better structured like that where each character gets an episode-

G: Oh, yeah! You've mentioned this to me! The first one is Aziraphale, yeah.

C: Right, so Danica and I were on the phone discussing Afterparty!Omens until 3AM, and then you messaged me and were like, "You know we're recording in like, four hours, right?" [both laugh] And I was like, "Fuck!" So, okay, that was my night. Right,and we made a Google Doc for it, and Danica sent me the link, but like, I'm clicking it right now, [G laughing] and I don't think she added my email, so I can't actually access it to answer this question.

G: Yeah.

C: So okay, I'm gonna go off memory.

G: No, but I think you've mentioned this to me that like, it starts with Aziraphale.

C: Yeah, I put in an ask, I think.

G: And the confession is like, removed, yeah. [pained sounds]

C: Mm-hm. The primary characters, it's gonna have 8 episodes instead of the- Good Omens is 6, 'cause I feel like it's just important. And the POV characters are going to be, I mean, Aziraphale and Crowley, obviously, Maggie and Nina, Gabriel and Beelzebub, and Shax and Muriel. I think I've changed it around so that Muriel is actually the last one because they were standing outside at the window during the whole final fifteen, and I feel like they're someone who would give like, a generally objective account of that. So I feel like that would make sense as the last episode. So like, yeah, okay, Aziraphale’s version, I think, is like, him writing in his diary or whatever, and it's gonna be like- His genre is like, you know, like a Jane Austen romance thing where I think that he's sort of just covering up everything, including a lot of the helping Jim stuff and like, just being like, "And I wanted Maggie and Nina to fall in love, and I made this ball, and it was wonderful, and Crowley was there, and we danced. And that's it. Nothing else happened those weeks. Stop asking me questions." So that would be like, how we open, right? So we just don't really get that much, but there is like, a sense of something wrong underneath it all. And then I think-

G: I love how you just told us that like, you already talked about this Danica. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, and this question is from her, so there's literally no point in me going through all of it. [G laughs]

Okay, Crowley's genre is like, like, a James Bond movie, right? So like, Crowley is like, providing the general action of the last few days. And like, clearly is like, just not saying a lot of stuff about like, her emotions during that time and is just being like, "And I was so cool, and then I was so cool," but like, is definitely crying on the couch every time you cut back to like, present-day Crowley talking. Right. Crowley would also leave out the final fifteen. I think Crowley would end it with like, Hell leaving and like, the battle ending and all that stuff. We'd get some fun stuff with, like, them sneaking into Heaven where they make it seem like it was a lot more difficult than it was.

Okay, Maggie's genre is like, romcom. And that's like, gonna be fun because when we cut to Nina's POV, it's just gonna be like, "And this woman is so annoying." [both laugh] But like, in Maggie's POV, she's like, "And we were trapped together, and it was so nice, and I think Nina's like, really into me." Blah blah blah blah. Okay, right, we'd settle on Nina being like, sort of like the straight man in an Office-style romcom where she's constantly looking at the camera like "Can you believe this shit?" And we would see a lot more of her relationship with Lindsay behind the scenes, and like, what's going on with her there, which I think would help flesh her out a lot. And also, I think it would help Maggie and Nina be less annoying because for Maggie's one, like, you're watching the whole time, and you'd just be like, "Oh, like, she's just making shit up. This is funny." And like, we're not really supposed to like her or find her sympathetic that much. This is just like, an exaggerated version of like, what she thinks is going on with her and Nina.

Okay, Shax I think her part, she's gonna be giving like, a political speech to Hell about like, why she should be on the Dark Council and take over Beelzebub’s seat. A lot of her stuff is gonna just be narrating like, the threatening Crowley, threatening Aziraphale, and then storing the bookshop. Everything's gonna be shot like a war movie, with like, heroic music and all that shit. [G laughs] But it'll have her narration where- well, you know she's not very like, well-spoken and stuff, so there'll be a lot of fun contrast between that and like, the way that the battle is filmed.

Gabriel is mostly just gonna fill in, like, what happens with the Jim story. Like, I think he's talking to Beelzebub, like, while they're on Alpha Centauri- I think Gabriel and Beelzebub are going to be talking to each other. But, like, Gabriel's episode is gonna come earlier, and you don't know who he's talking to, and like, he'll leave off after the battle ends, so like, before he gets his memories back, so like, when Heaven and Hell pop in but before he gets the fly, so like, you don't know until Beelzebub's episode that- and Beelzebub's gonna fill in the flashback love story stuff. Yeah, so you don't know that it's Beelzebub until then. Gabriel's genre- Did we- I don't think we got there. What do you think Gabriel's genre would be? I mean, Sound of Music parody would be hilarious.

G: [laughing] Succession.

C: [laughing] Succession! No, for real, though.

G: Corporate, yeah. [laughs]

C: No, but if he's just narrowing like, Jim stuff- I mean, it would be really funny if it was Succession, but like, as an assistant bookseller.

G: For real.

C: But like, I don't know if that's mindset that he's in while he's Jim.

G: Oh, yeah, 'cause he's just Jim.

C: Well, if he's telling the story afterwards, he could be trying to make himself as Jim seem really cool to Beelzebub 'cause he's like, back to being an asshole, right? So like, he could be trying to Successionify it. But yeah, I don't know. Is Succession the one you're gonna settle on? Because I don't have a better option right now.

G: Huh. I mean, I don't know any genres. I have no idea what the genre is. [C laughs] [C: Fair.] I've never heard of a genre.

C: Yeah. Right, Beelzebub, I think we were thinking, like, horror comedy.

G: I think that would be it, yeah.

C: Which would be fun. I guess Beelzebub's just sort of reminiscing about like, what they were doing before and how they got here. We could probably see the ending of like, the Beelzebub and Gabriel reveal from like, Maggie or Nina's perspective 'cause they were there before Michael threatened to turn them into salt, so like, that would give us like, probably more. I think I think it should be Nina's [laughs] because I want her to look into the camera every time they say something corny.

Muriel, I think it's gonna be mostly in the form of like, a report to Heaven. Or, I think, okay, I think Muriel is gonna be mostly like, documentary-style, like, "Muriel's adventures on Earth," like, discovering bugs and shit.

G: [laughing] A vlogger! Yeah.

C: [laughs] Yeah. And like, stuff that they've written down in their notebook and stuff like that, but like, I think the final fifteen will be relayed fairly just true to what actually happened, just as a report, without that much narration. Yeah. And then, you know, it'll just end with them going into the bookshop. And then that'll be season. And that means that there will be no minisodes, but I feel like that's fine, even though there's not that much present-day plot, because the point of having a bunch of POVs is that you can do the same scene over [G: Yeah.], but like, make it seem very different. And it would be better than Season 2, I think.

G: [laughing] That would be so funny, if we saw the breakup through like, a fucking [both laughing] vlog camera outside of the bookshop. [C: Yeah!] And Muriel- you can see Muriel's thumb covering the lens every once in a while. [C laughing] So true!

C: Yeah. So, so true. Yeah, like, would it lessen the emotional impact? Maybe a little.

G: Probably.

C: But also, I think the emotional impact would be lessened because of the way it's shot, but I feel like the realization that this is what Aziraphale and Crowley were hiding during their episodes would like, make up for it a bit. Like, that would help.

That's the Afterparty!Omens. I'm glad that I was able to waste every one of my listeners' time with Afterparty!Omens shot-by-shot description! [G laughs]

-

G: Exactly. Well, so our next category is just Crystal and Grey talking about themselves extravaganza.

C: Meaning two questions.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So our first question is from an anonymous person asking, "Finally! Asking again for fanfiction recommendations! I really liked the one about Crowley having a daughter and the one about Aziraphale mysteriously becoming a human with amnesia, do you have any other recommendations that have that similar vibe?" Crystal explained this to me as like, these fanfics are like, kind of less romance-centric and more like, book-ish.

C: Yeah. Well, I'd say the plot is like, as important as the romance. Like, it's not the ones where, like, they just sit around and pine a lot.

G: Yeah. I do not read fanfic for plot, [C laughs] so I have no recommendations.

C: Yeah. Okay, so, first, anon, the fact that you read over 200,000 words of content on my recommendation is very flattering. [laughs] Thanks. And I'm really glad you liked those ones.

G: You don't know that. Maybe they already read it-

C: Maybe.

G: - and they were like, "Oh yeah, I like those ones that Crystal recommended."

C: Maybe. That's true. That's true.

G: You never know. You never know.

C: That's true.

G: They already listened to like, multiple hours of our podcast. [laughing]

C: Yeah, yeah, they don't have the time to also be reading 200,000 words.

G: Yeah. You don't have time to read fanfiction when your number one priority should be [both laugh] listening to Crystal and Grey talk for hours and hours on end.

C: Yeah. For fucking real. Okay, so, I don't really read that many long, plotty things either, so I only really have one that I think like, is actually what you're looking for, if I'm interpreting what you mean by "have that similar vibe." It is a series called "The Place You Need to Reach" by Zetared. First fic is called "The Persephone Clause," and second is called "The Orpheus Cure." Do spoilers matter? Like, how much like, how do I give a plot summary without spoilers? Okay, it's like- okay, I guess part one is sort of like, an Orpheus and Eurydice thing, where Aziraphale's getting Crowley out of Hell, and then part 2 is like, it sort of starts as like, Aziraphale recovering from that time, and then becomes like, an apocalypse part 2 plot thing that gets pretty wacky, but I think that overall, it's like, a fun time, and I really like a lot of the ideas introduced in like, part 1 of part 2- like, the first half of part 2 of the fic a lot, too. This is fully a book fic, which hopefully is what you're looking for. And I also enjoy fully book fics more than show fics a lot of time. And it was published in like, 2019 before Season 2, so it's not like, a Second Coming Apocalypse Part 2. Yeah. I mean, it's a good time. There's plot. There's the characters. I enjoy it. There's like, a Rape/Non-Con warning on part 1, but like, I guess if that scares you off, like, what that scene is is that an apparition of Crowley in Hell kisses Aziraphale, and then- like, sexually assault Aziraphale by kissing him- but like, that's the end of that. So like, nothing worse than what's happened in the show already.

Okay, so that's the main one that I think actually suits what you're looking for. Another book fic that I've read semi-recently that I think you could enjoy just because I think I think the style of it works pretty well with what you've liked in the past is called "By Permission of Heaven" by ImprobableDreams900, and that one's just like- it's just Aziraphale and Crowley during the Great London fire of 1666. It's nice. It's nice to see them in that historical setting and to see them earlier in their relationship like that.

I guess this probably isn't really that vibe, and I've already mentioned this in the podcast, but I would like to push "Before the Water Rises" by Vitreous_Humor one more time, which is the Noah's Ark one where both of them like, find a village and help them build boats in preparation of the flood. I think it's wonderful. I think it's great. [G: Hell yeah!] Yeah, I enjoy the plot elements and the lore elements of it that are sprinkled throughout, as well as the them being so in love and stupid about it.

Last question is from poprockringpop. " For those of us who are new to Crystal & Grey Enterprises, can we get some of your friendship lore and how you decided to start podding together (if you’re comfortable!)." So we went to Supernatural together. [laughs]

G: We literally did. We met in 2021 in Supernatural.

C: Yeah, yeah. We met via Discord and then got closer because we like, both made Supernatural AMVs. So like, we ran in the same circles regarding that.

G: Yeah. If you're unfamiliar, like, AMV culture in Supernatural, especially when it was big when Supernatural was real big-

C: Yeah, that was crazy.

G: Like, 2021 to 2022, I guess. Like, mid 2022s. It's unimaginable what it was like. Like, [laughs] I don't know how to explain it, because, like, Good Omens, if you're like, with us for Good Omens only, Good Omens is so not an AMV fandom. It's really not.

C: Yeah. There's more animatics than AMVs, and it's like, "But you don't have to draw all of that. They already did it! You're doing so much extra work!" [both laugh]

G: Supernatural is a AMV fandom. Like, it is. Like, the AMV circles are big,and you kind of find your specific niches with it within that circle itself. So like, AMV-making isn't a niche in itself, but the types of AMVs people make, you know, you kind of like, group together. [laughing] Crystal and I have never made an AMV that is alike to one another whatsoever. But, like, you know. For some reason, we just kind of like, ran in the specific circles in those areas.

C: Right, yeah, so I guess we started talking because of that. And then we became friends. And then on January 6th, 2022- [laughs] Not 2021-

G: Which is like, less than 6 months since we've known each other, I think. Because we started talking-

C: Yeah, I think we checked, and our first discord message was in [G: September.] September 2021. Yeah, but I thought that we DMed on Tumblr earlier.

G: We knew each other- no no no, we didn't. But like, we kind of knew each other from like, other areas. Like, you know, I see you on my timeline, Discord. But like, that's different. That's different.

C: Yeah, yeah, 'cause your first Discord message to me was like, "I hope it's okay that I'm messaging you here" was how it started, right? So we hadn't talked on Tumblr yet?

G: We were already talking in other places. But like, I feel like Discord DM is like, more personal, so I guess that's why I said-

C: Okay, that's true. 'Cause I feel like we had that conversation about the book of Job via Tumblr.

G: Did we? Oh, that's real fun!

C: I don't know. Did we? I'll look up Book of Job in our regular DMs. In April 2022-

G: Oh, so that's way later.

C: - you mentioned putting Cas into the Book of Job, and then I said, "Isn't Job set in prehistoric times?"

G: Yeah! That's the one.

C: So you're misremembering. You said this was one of our first conversations. No, it happened way later. We'd already had BABPod. But yeah, anyway. We talked about Job a bit-

G: January 6, 2022-

C: January 6, 2022, you sent, "Let's do a podcast." as a joke.

G: No, here's the context. Here's the context. You go, "Oh, I have, like, all of Supernatural on like, a hard drive, because I make AMVs with it. I have never actually like, sat down and watched every single episode. Maybe I should do that." And I was like, "Yeah, you should do it. And like, we should do make- let's do a podcast. And like, let's talk about every single episode of the show." And the thing is, I've been saying this to people all the time. Like, I've invited many people to do a Supernatural podcast with me. It's something I really wanted to do. [C: Yeah.] But, like, every single person like, just rejected me. [C laughs] Like, nobody wanted to do it [laughs] for, like, completely obvious reasons. It's so long and arduous, nobody likes Supernatural in my life, you know?

C: Yeah, I think I think the fact that I hadn't watched Supernatural yet [laughs] is what really allowed me to say yes to that.

G: Really, what I wanted to do was me, someone who knows about everything about the show, and someone who like, knew nothing, just like in our Good Omens podcast. But you were the only one who said yes, and you already knew a lot about it.

C: Yeah, I knew many things due to being in the fandom and making AMVs.

G: Yeah. So yeah, that's what happened. Like, you said, yes, and I was like, "Well, I mean, the opportunity has presented itself. We shall commit to the bit." And you know what? I do think that if it was with anyone else, we would have done like, I don't know, seven episodes and quit. 'Cause like, you and I, I don't think we understood what we were getting ourselves into [C laughs] when we started. Like, definitely not. [C: Yeah.] I don't want to complain about like, being- like, making a podcast. I like doing this. I really do. I like doing the podcast stuff. It is a lot of work, though. [C: Mm-hm.] And like, especially during the first, like, couple of months, it's like, we were doing two podcasts a week 'cause we wanted to get it over with.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: And then, like, at some point, we realized that like, "Okay, we can't keep on doing this, because, like, it's actually difficult. Like, this is like, so much work." And like, it was working for me at the time - 'cause I'm the editor - and it was working for me at the time 'cause like, a lot of this stuff was like, you're in your house, you know. Our economy and our schools and everything hasn't opened up yet at the time.

C: It was very fast. We came up with the name and made like, an official email and shit, like the day of that conversation. Like, I think, within an hour. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, we committed very quickly. And yeah, it was pretty insane of us to do given that [laughs] we had never spoken on the phone before.

G: We had never called prior. [laughs] I didn't even know what Crystal sounded like. So- I remember you sent me like, an example of what your audio would sound like, and then I heard it, and my immediate thought was like, "Holy shit! Like, Crystal really sounds like an American! [C laughing] Like, Crystal really sounds like an American." And like, I think I replied to that audio clip like, "Oh my god! You're an American!" [both laughing] Well, I was surprised. I was shocked to my core.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: I think it is really like, a big luck situation to that.

C: Yeah, it could have been not good.

G: Like, speaking- Yeah. 'Cause like, you can message someone and like, have good rapport in messaging someone, and like, when you talk to each other, it's like, you just don't vibe or you like, you don't understand each other well. I mean, I've had friends who like- I have a British friend. [laughs] I've talked about this so much. [C: Yeah.] I have a British friend, like, the first time we called, we literally could not understand each other. [C laughs] Like, we were on the call, she could see my face, I could see her face, I could see her lips mouthing the words, and I still couldn't understand anything. Like, we had to type shit to each other. [C: Aw.] We had to message each other anyway to be able to understand each other. I don't know. Good thing you have a viciously American accent [C laughing] that I could understand, I suppose. So.

C: For fucking real.

G: Yeah, that shit was crazy, too. I mean for me, specifically, like, I'm I'm fluent in English, obviously, but being fluent in English in a way that people who don't also speak Filipino can understand is different than being fluent in like, English the way I was at the time. When you're thinking, "Oh, I'm speaking English, but if I slip a Filipino word here and there, the person will still understand me," that's different from like, speaking entirely in English. And like, it was very very very like- I was so scared that someone was going to point out my accent, [C: Aww!] and it will like, destroy me completely, which is, you know. [C: Yeah.] I think I've grown out of that insecurity. [C: Mm.] And I think I'm funnier, too, because I'm less nervous about everything.

C: Hell yeah!

G: But yeah. Podcasting- It really was a journey. [C laughs] We were crazy to do this. But you know what?

C: It worked out.

G: It worked out. It will continue to work out, hopefully.

C: Yeah, yeah, I believe it. So yeah.

G: I believe it too.

C: [laughing] We've been talking about ourselves for so long. Maybe- It really is an extravaganza.

G: I love to talk about myself.

C: This is true.

G: Well, that's actually the end of it. We- I love how we like, ranked this- I mean, I ranked the questions, [C: Ordered.] but like, I ordered the questions to be like, most relevant to the show to the least relevant to the show Good Omens, [laughs] but now it just seems like I left the "What are Crystal and Grey's backstory is?" like, for last, because it's the most important. [both laughing] [C: Yeah.] Well, maybe it is.

C: What if it is?

G: What if it is so? So- yeah.

-

C: Okay. Oh my god, we're not gonna talk to- like, we're not gonna do this for like, four year now.

G: RubbishPod, yeah.

C: Some people like, are only RubbishPod listeners, so we won't see them for four years.

G: Yeah. I know a lot of you guys don't listen to BABPod.

C: Oh my god, that's so sad! Yeah. I will miss the asks.

G: That's so sad. Yeah, because we do get a lot more Tumblr asks and interactions like that with Rubbish.

C: Yeah, just 'cause every episode of Good Omens is important, so there's things to say about them.

G: Yeah, and BABPod is like "whatever" per episode. [C laughs] Even though I think we do have a little more listeners generally in BABPod, like, immediately. But you know, it's a different kind of show. Which is fine. It's completely fine. But it was fun to like, interact with, like, every single ask as if it was like, a [laughing] theological debate that we were having. It was really fun! Like, truthfully, yeah.

C: Yeah. This was like a 24/7 engagement for me. Yeah, 'cause we were like, talking about the episode all the time throughout the week [G: To each other, yeah.] too, and I was reading like, Good Omens fic all the time during the week, too. But, like, it was great. It was great to have like, a honeymoon with Good Omens for 3 months.

G: Yeah, that's what it felt like, yeah.

C: And it was great that all of you audience people were there. 'Cause, yeah. It was very nice to answer the asks and like, think more about character interpretations and shit like that with all of you. So.

G: It's less about like, the actual the doing it and more like, the mental like, [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] state that you have to be in to do it, which is, for me and Crystal, it really was like, I wake up in the morning, [both laughing] I message Crystal about Aziraphale and Crowley. [C: Yeah.] Like, it was that serious for us. It was crazy! This time was crazy!

C: Yeah. Yeah. And I look forward to doing it again in four years, or however long it takes for Season 3.

G: Do you think it will take four years?

C: Um, he's writing it right now.

G: Yeah. If he finishes writing it by- I think maybe it'll take longer, actually.

C: I would rather he take his time to write it, given that [G: It's the last one, yeah.] Season 2 was bad and it was written fast. In some amount of years. [G: Some amount of years.] Unless it gets cancelled, [laughs] which would be really funny.

G: If it gets cancelled- it would be so funny if this is our last like, [laughs] episode, and like, all of it is just like, "Oh my god! See you guys in four or so years!" [C: Yeah.]And it just never happens.

C: Yeah, well, let's hope that that is not the case. [G: Yeah.]

That's it for this week's episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, in four years, we'll be talking about Season 3, Episode 1, which will probably be titled "Fucking Raw in the Street." [both laugh] Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts!

G: Follow us on social media. We interact through the social media set up for our Supernatural podcast, Busty Asian Beauties, so we're on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail- Ah, bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com, and you can email us at bustyasianbeautiespod.gmail.com. No, it's- [both laugh] bustyasian- No. [laughing] What the fuck is our email? bustyasianbeautiespod@g-

C: bustyasianbeauties@- bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com.

G: @gmail.com. Well, okay, and I would like to say that just because we have released our final episode, you can still message us. We'll still reply sincerely.

C: Oh, yeah, you should still ask us things about Good Omens. [G: Yes.] Yeah, literally, if it's two years later and you have a thought about Aziraphale and Crowley, [G: Yeah.] and you're like, "I want to hear Crystal and Grey's opinion on this," like, I will be there. [laughs]

G: Yeah. And also like, there are times throughout this recording that, like, our opinions have changed, so probably, like, some of the stuff we say here probably will change also. [C: Yeah.] That's just how thoughts go. [C: Yeah.] And, you know, contact us. We love the interactions. Really. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] Thank you.

C: Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. See you guys next time in four fucking years! [both] Bye!

[Garageband version of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday” plays]

[wakkoroni]

Ayooo thanks for the tag! I love learning new things about my friends

Alrighty so

Relationship status: ya girl is single. Which isn't that surprising? But I usually call my friend "babe, darling, my love" irl which confuses people but I am single.

Favorite color: so many favorites. Purple is usually my go-to. Also the color black, gold, and red. But like a deep red. It's so pretty

Stuck in my Head: I have no idea what this means. Like what's stuck in my head? Cause usually songs are stuck in my head. Recent songs have been a combination of musicals (I may or may have not fallen back into a theater phase) as well as scenarios and scripts. (There's a lot stuck in my head)

Last song I listened to: Stick Season- Noah Kahan. I may have uh... Listened to this song on loop? I really like this song.

Three Favorite Foods: you know when someone usually asks this your mind goes blank? Yeah uhhhhhhhhh. Estofado Peruano? Amazing. 10/10. Beautiful. Hm what else.

OH. Ritz or Saltine crackers. I always have a bag on me.

Cherries are pretty good and I'm pretty sure this counts as a food (unless it was asking for meals. In which case oops)

Last thing I googled: "Why does my cat lick their bed" and it was a reasonable question okay? My cat just kept licking their bed and I was so confused. If anyone is wondering: they like the texture on their tongue.

Dream Trip: I wanna go to Greece or Rome. That'll be fun. But within the U.S? I really wanna go to Maine. For no other reason than to just explore.

This has been fun to do~ okay time for tags: once again I do not know 10 people. I'm surprisingly not that social lmao but uhhhh tags (if y'all see my lil mention :) )

@killingmyfavcharacterbcilovethem, @batmoniker

I've probably never talked to y'all but we are mutuals so hello! <3

Got tagged by the lovely @uncertainwallflower Thank you! Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

Relationship Status: The heck does this mean? Uh, I'm a daughter and a sister and a friend and that's all I am atm and am happy with it.

Favourite Color: Sometimes, the ghost of Stephanie Brown possesses me and compells me to say: purple

Stuck in My Head: I have so much and at the same time no work to do. My mind has been in the mode of "work" and "wait, there is no work" for the past week. Hopefully, it solves itself by the time I finish my Math test on Thursday

Last Song You Listened To: Waves by Dean Lewis. I've been tryna learn the lyrics so I can record it and package it to this thingy I do with a friend, so that's the only song I've listened to for the past three days. And I love it.

Three Favourite Foods: I had pizza today so pizza. I also had sausage in bread today so that too. And as always, Biryani.

Last Thing I Googled: Word for word: "hkjbvf". I'm collecting points to get a free $5 gift voucher.

Dream Trip: Saudi Arabia/Dubai. So I can have halal junk food. Especially Al Baik. And also, 'Murica. So I can give some friends a hug.

TAGGINGGGG: (If I tagged you and you weren't aware that I existed or i had never tagged you before, it's because I've read ur fanfics and loved them or i just met you and would love to get to know you, but no pressure) @mispeltnostalgia @tristicorde @wakkoroni @cygnusdoesthings @sardonic-sprite @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @motleyfam @birdybat @ah0yh0y @spiiderpunk

[lightkrets312]

me: hehe hoho what if I make funny little tiktoks that I post only to my tumblr

my brain: mmhmm, okay, I see that and raise you - what if you use those tiktoks to talk about all that negative shit in your head and post them >:)

me:

me: bro what the fu-