#y’all’re awesome

[cb-writes-stuff]

i'm gonna yap to you because you're cool and i wanna tell somebody about my day (feel free to ignore this, it has positive and negative parts of today)

TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY! which i'm really excited about (i'm not saying how old i'm turning for. privacy reasons) but i think my mom got me tv girl merch which is really exciting.

i also got second in my bracket for tennis! but i locked in too hard and now i'm tired and achy :(

but my friend hung out with me today while i played, he's the person that introduced me to isat and he's the only person in my church (that i'm technically not a member of my parents just make me go) who i'm out to

Oh my stars, that’s awesome! Happy almost birthday!

Congrats on your tennis thing! I saw you posting about that earlier, and second place is nothing to sneeze at! (I don’t know why that’s a saying, but it’s really funny to me.) Hoping your aches and pains go away soon!

Hanging out with friends is always fun. I was supposed to hang out with one today, but then that kinda… didn’t happen. But that’s really cool! (Because he introduced you to ISAT, and we’re moots because of ISAT, in a way, he introduced us to each other, so I’m glad y’all’re friends!)

Oh, also! I just posted a picrew chain thing that I forgot to tag you in. I don’t know if it pings you when I edit it, but consider yourself tagged!

[morals-and-florals]

“Y’all’re doin’ an awesome job!”

Akira comes home one Saturday evening. He seems sad.

- @morals-and-florals

Monokuma was spending time with the cubs when he hears the door.

🐻"Oh! This must be Akira!" He runs happily to the door. "Welcome home, My Love! Hm? Is everything okay?"

[bookbeani]

Probably the weirdest skill you pick up as a worm biologist is how to pick up a microscopic worm with a stick bigger than it is, without hurting it.

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Cosmosaurs update!

Thank you everyone so much for all the enthusiasm on my last post! I hoped you would enjoy them but I was surprised by how much positive feedback they recieved!! Y’all’re awesome.

I’ve put together a few mockups of how I plan to colour these! The space background I think will be in watercolour, and the swirly clouds I will attempt to make in gold leaf! Haven’t used it before so we’ll see how it goes!

[namesetc]

if it’s no trouble, could i get a name and pronoun test? azido or azide as the name, and acid/acids, toxic/toxin, ka/boom, and haz/hazard for pronouns? thank you wayyy in advance! y’all’re awesome (^_^)

woa azide has such cool pronouns. maybe toxic knows a lot about poisons. i bet acids favorite pokemon type is poison. do you think ka play pokemon? in any case, hazard's pronouns are super cool! <3

[sexy-velociraptors]

WELCOME TO THE NEW KINK-BLOG-IN-PROGRESS

What’s up? I’m Leo. 25, submissive, transmasc. I use he/him pronouns IRL but u can call me “it” here.

I was super active on tumblr before the Purge, my url was velociraptors-jerkin-it. I’m looking to get back into the game, but it seems the game has changed, so please LMK if I’ve got any faux-pas or red flags going on.

THE BORING STUFF:

A DNI list has always struck me as kinda silly (have they ever stopped anyone, ever?), but they seem to be standard, so I’ll get the basics out of the way.

Minors, get your jailbait asses out of here.

Right wingers GTFO, centrists are on Thin Fucking Ice.

ED/Self-Harm/Suicide/etc blogs. If you’re personally struggling, please seek help, but I’ve been there and I’m not talking about you. I mean the proana/thinspo/whatever-the-fuck-y’all’re-calling-yourselves-these-days types, and those who glorify harm to themselves and others.

People who are into hard limits of mine can still interact, but please don’t send messages/leave captions pertaining to them.

Likewise, straight men and lesbians can follow, but I’d really not hear from y’all.

On the tumblr #disc-horse front, asexuals are fantastic, so are people of any and every gender, pronouns, and presentation. Liking weird porn doesn’t inherently make a person immoral or harmful, IRL immoral and harmful actions do.

MY HARD LIMITS INCLUDE (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO):

Dick pics

Incest (including daddy kink and stepfamily)

Vomit/scat/watersports

Blood (as well as knives, needles, etc)

Misgendering/detrans/sissification

Breeding kink

Ageplay

Guns

Bestiality (as defined by the Harkness Test)

Necrophilia

Anything that violates IRL people’s consent (fictional people are fair game)

I’m in charge of curating my own online experience, if I follow someone on my own DNI list that’s my fault. If one of those things applies to you and you’d like to let me know, that’d be awesome, but is not mandatory.

That being said, I can and will block with impunity. If you send me anything to do with my hard limits you will get an instablock. If you send me dick pics you will get an instablock. Age stuff is iffy, but if I deem you too old or young for me I may politely ask u to lay off (unless you’re under 18, in which case, instablock)

THE FUN STUFF

My kinks are too numerous to list, and I discover new ones all the time. I’m a masochistic service sub into bondage, degradation, objectification, and god-knows-what-else. I also have what I like to call a “möbius kink”: indulging other people’s people’s fetishes gets me off, even/especially when they’re not my own. For example, I have zero interest in feet, but I’ve had a great time sucking the toes of someone who did.

I have a toybox I’m rather proud of, if I do say so myself. I’ve got plenty of restraints, vibes, hurty-things, the list goes on. I’ll probably post more info about it soon.

Captions on my photos are welcome and encouraged!

REMEMBER THE OLD BLOG?

The old blog was largely kinky reblogs, but I had a system for my original content. Anyone could send in a request for any photo (within my limits), and I’d post it. I want to bring that back! With a few caveats:

A. My living situation limits my ability to take creative photos. I may be simply unable to get every photo from every angle like I used to.

B. This is probably not going to be sustainable. At some point the photo request rules will change to make the workload manageable, and you all have to promise to be cool about it, ok?

C: I worked way too hard on the old blog for zero money. I’ll likely work out an honor-based tip system. This is also under the banner of “I warned you in advance so you have to promise to be cool about it”

If you have any old pics/posts from the old blog, I’d love to see them! Most of those nudes are lost to time AFAIK

ABOUT MY BODY/GENDER:

I’m a trans man. Transmasculine. FTM. If you don’t know what that is, Google is free. If you don’t think that exists, the unfollow and block buttons are right there.

If you have “men DNI” “cis men DNI” or similar in your bio, I won’t be interacting. You have the right to draw boundaries, but cis men and I are the same gender.

I got top surgery in Jan 2022. I don’t have nipples anymore. I think this is extremely sexy of me and I’m correct.

I’ve been on and off testosterone since Feb 2016. I’ve been off it long enough (due to circumstance changes, not gender ones) that I’m not as hairy as I used to be. This is relevant bc the old blog got popular among body hair fetishists (my möbius kink at work)

I have a clitoris, T made it much larger than a cis woman’s. You can call it a clit, or a cock, or a shrimpdick, or just about anything else. I also have a vagina, which I tend to call my front hole or my cunt. You can call it a pussy, but please don’t call it anything feminine or things like “pretty”.

I’d like to think that’s all, but I’m sure there will be more I’ll have to add at some point. Consider all of the above subject to change.

[superphantom]

Superphantom Saturdays #13

Welcome welcome and happy Dannyversary(/pocalypse)!! And oh boy am I excited to be bringing yall this fic today, I think it deserves a holiday debut. Please get ready to read;

Hunters and Halfas by @wolfeyedwitch 

on ao3. This is an absolutely enthralling series with three installments (1, 2, 3) to date. Now, this is where I want to start literally GUSHING about this series, because for me it checks so. many. boxes! In the interest of no spoilers, though, I’ll be as hype (but vague) as possible.  

Excellent big sister Jazz, the phandom classic, dissection, clever mixing of lore, Bobby, and spot-on characterization to boot! It cleverly takes so many good tropes, twists em into a bow and gives em a dash of lemon juice. Seriously, I cannot get enough! Plus, it’s a recent and ongoing series, we get to see this created in real time. Go ahead and follow the author so you can keep up with this, and all the other things she’s up to, she’s got a pretty well-curated blog.

As always remember to review!! Whether it’s an emoji or a personal essay, there is nothing better you can do for your fav writers than give feedback. Fandom is an ecosystem of sorts, writers put out content, we show them support, and they feel inspired to do more things, as well as the countless readers who will look up to said writer and start their own projects. Take some time to contribute, if for nothing else than to brighten someone’s day, really, no matter how small, reviews are hella appreciated. 

Okay, I’m headed over to the comments section on Hunters and Halfas so I can talk in depth about what I loved about this fic, please, join me. And most of all, Thank You!! It’s your engagement with my blog that really keeps me going. Having people who care for this crossover as much as I do makes me a very happy guy. If you’d like to be featured on a future Superphantom Saturday, have any ideas, drawings, WIPs, or just want someone to discuss with,  y’all’re more than welcome to DM me!! My inbox is always open. See you next week, untll then please stay safe, and have an awesome day!!! :) 

[sweetpeachesink]

My Cthulhus are back in stock!

Thank you guys sooooo much for your support! I can barely keep up with the demand! Y’all’re awesome! <3

**

Etsy Shop: Sweet Peaches Ink

Cthulhus: Here

**

DO NOT REPOST!!!!

[custom-emojis]

Hey raz i think youre awesome 🥺

aww thank ya luv i ‘preciate it. I’m havin a bit’a moment right now so its nice to see y’all’re so sweet. -Raz

[bloodysinkk]

hi hello :) fellow system here!

just reminding you all that you all matter and that u as a whole are valid. y’all’re very awesome and an epic mutual of ours!!

hope yer halloween bopped, and we hope yer having a good day today as well

have a funky sunday!! -tvs

Nice to meet you. Thanks

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

------

Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

------

Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

------

Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

&

@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

&

Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[s-o-a-p-ing]

PSALMS S.O.A.P.

PSALM 35

Thursday, 2/18/21

SCRIPTURE:

With every bone in my body I will praise Him: “Lord , who can compare with you?  Who else rescues the helpless from the strong?  Who else protects the helpless and poor from those who rob them?”   Psalm 35:10

OBSERVATION:

Consider myself among the "helpless and poor" needing rescue from the "strong... and those who rob" - after all, I do tend to wander despite my own best intentions... get distracted by "time thieves" that rob me of the only thing I cannot replace - Thanks, always, for Jesus's (continued) rescuing and protection... (and why/how do I keep putting myself in that/those positions...?) Who else, indeed, can provide the true rescue and protection I need - from the enemy, AND my selfish, self-centered, self?

APPLICATION:

Praise Him with EVERY bone in my body...  Continue to call out to Him for protection, for help - remembering it is ONLY through Him that I can be rescued...

PRAYER:

Rescuing Father God - Forgive my continued wandering off - grant Your rescue from the strong powers that entice and lead me down wasteful side-roads - As Your Word says in verse one, "oppose those who oppose me, fight those who fight against me" including and especially myself. I know You know all - but I confess to You my desire to praise You with every bone in my body - Nothing and no-one compares to You or the grace provided through and by Your Son Jesus... remind me of Your Spirit's power and presence to rescue and protect me from the distractions that would rob me of my focus on Your will and my thankful, praising worship of You... In Jesus's matchless and awesome Name... In His Name...  His Name...

**^**^**^***

Hope y’all're warmer/drier than I am today... remember and pray for those who aren't or can't be - because of work or circumstances...

Yours in, through, and because of Him and His grace...

g

<))><

[badolmen]

@billy-hoepe @bonniebunz @softupshur, @bandtrees everybody else who liked/reblogged the first, second, and third chapter- y’all’re awesome and cool and your tags and comments inspire me to keep writing! I hope something nice happens to you this month!

“Not gonna lie Upshur, that kid’s weird,” Piper said, pulling the curtain around the table. Miles swallowed the lump of fear in his throat, hoping those shadows licking at the edge of Billy’s frame were just his sleep deprived and traumatized mind playing tricks on his eyes.

“Doesn’t say much though, seems pretty quiet,” Billie muttered, swatting Miles’ hands away as she undid his button down, the shirt sticky with half dried blood. “We don’t need to worry about him talking, do we Miles?”

“No – no, he won’t-”

“Will you?” Piper asked, voice sing song soft as she pressed stinging antiseptic solution to the stubs of his fingers. Miles flinched away, but in spite of her small stature, Piper firmly held his hand in place.

“I wouldn’t have come here if – you know I wouldn’t do anything like that, right?” His words were strained, calm forced into his face as Billie turned to a table of tools.

“You’re a – well, you were a big shot reporter, buddy,” Buddy. Piper barely noticed Miles’ breath hitch.

“Relax Miles,” Billie said, tapping the needle in her hand, bubbles floating to the top. “Pip’s just being a jerk,” She brought the needle to his hand, giving him a glance. “It’s a local anesthetic, we need to clean up those cuts, you’ll feel the pressure but not the pain,”

Miles gave a grim smile, watching Piper set out scalpels and clippers and gauze. Billie set to work at the bullet buried in his shoulder, prodding the wound cautiously.

“By the way Miles, who the hell were you fucking with? Must be big fish if you’re here and not a hospital,” Piper asked, Miles looking away and ignoring the warmth of fresh blood as she began work on his left hand.

“Mount Massive,” He managed through gritted teeth, Billie still cautiously picking at the bullet wound. Piper looked up, eyes bright with recognition.

“Oh, cool! I had a girlfriend who worked there a while ago, think she got laid off recently actually, or maybe it was maternity leave? Haven’t talked to her in a while, we aren’t that close anymore.” There was a clatter as she set a bloody tool back into the metal tray.  

“The hell were you doin’ up there? Not officially reporting ‘em or something, right? Thought you got fired or whatever after that stunt you pulled overseas,”

“Murkoff-” Miles inhaled sharply, Billie’s knife hitting a nerve. The sisters shared a glance. Piper sighed, cauterization of wounds filling the air with an all too familiar stench. There was an uncharacteristic rush to Billie’s movements as she continued to work the bullet from his shoulder.

“You two can’t come back here, got it? Soon as the sun’s up you’re on your own,” Her voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. Miles gave a stiff nod. “We don’t fuck with those guys, they’ve got a hand in every pocket; they’re real serious about whistleblowers and shit, they’ll ruin you, if they don’t outright kill ya,”

“They sure as hell tried,” Miles said with a dark chuckle, wincing as Piper began working on his right hand.

“Yeah, but they like to be thorough,” Piper glanced to her sister as the other woman finally pulled a chunk of bullet from Miles’ shoulder. “They’ll track you down, find everybody you talked to and do worse to them,” Miles’ eyes flashed to Piper as she snipped a jagged fingerbone to a cleaner cut. “Basically, Billie and I might be fucked for helping you,”

“I don’t – I don’t think we were followed,” Miles managed, Billie stitching his shoulder with a practiced hand. Piper gave a shrug.

“Good thing your mama’s way back in the East, wouldn’t want any of those goons visiting her,” The smaller woman said, holding one of Miles numbed hands still as she began to bandage the wounds. Miles jerked on the bench, but Billie held him down as she set a bandage to the wound on his chest, pressing against bruises and broken ribs.

“Easy, you might not be feeling much now, but tomorrow you’re gonna wish-”

“No, no, not that,” He said with a groan, already feeling the aches of his new stitches. His head looked to the curtain, the room outside very still and quiet. “He’s been talking about going back to his mom’s-”

“Don’t,” Piper said, voice soft as she took the tray of bloody tools away from the table.

“I know, but-”

“Listen, Miles, if you went to Mount Massive, found that kid, and took him…Murkoff is gonna consider you for one, a thief or kidnapper or whatever depending on how important that guy is, and two, an insurance nightmare. They’ve got a lot of money they’d rather not part with in lawsuits.”

A rhythmic knock rapped at the door. Billie glanced at her phone.

“Kev’s here,” She said, wiping blood from her hands and setting aside clean bandages. “I texted him earlier, to bring some stuff for you two, when you first knocked. Clothes, y’know? So you’re less recognizable.”

“And you told him to stop by Lee’s, right? For dinner? I’m starving,” Piper said, wrapping Miles’ hand in clean, white gauze.

“Yeah, yeah,” Billie said, pulling the curtain away and walking to the door. Miles looked to the couch, Billy’s form small and shivering. He swallowed a lump in his throat, hoping the sisters didn’t notice the darkness swarming behind the younger man’s blank eyes, the tendrils of nanites writhing across his body and blending with the shadows.

The door opened with a click, and Billy snapped out of it, the darkness dissipated by a single cough, eyes unfocused but clear.

“I got the stuff,” A new voice said, the crinkle of plastic bags accompanied by the smell of grease and spices. Kevin stepped through the door, Billie planting a kiss on her husband’s cheek. He nearly took up the whole door frame, ducking to keep from hitting his head on the light fixture that dangled in front of the door. He gave a nod to Miles, who could only give a weak smile in return.

“Gimme!” Piper squealed, Billy flinching away as the woman darted across the room to acquire a container of Chinese food. “Sorry Billy boy, a girl’s gotta eat,”

“Hold up Pip, we’ve gotta finish up with Upshur first,” Billie chided, Kevin pulling the bags of food up to the ceiling. Piper groaned, sulking back to Miles with comical disappointment. “Kev, could you, uh, hang out with Billy over there ‘til we’re done? You got some stuff for him, right?”

“Yeah, had Chris go through their things, pick out stuff they wanted to donate to the thrift store, figured this was about the same kinda charity, right?” Kev said, holding out a different grocery bag to his wife. Billie nodded at the contents.

“Cool, I’ll finish up quick, make sure Billy’s good, but then these two gotta stay the night,” She said, giving Kevin a tight smile. “Date night tomorrow night sound good?” Kevin grimaced.

“Chris’ got-”

“Right, SAT practice…damn, well, we’ll figure it out,” She pulled the curtain back across the divider, Kevin setting the bags of food on the table.

“Hey little guy,” He said, voice quiet and movements slow as he approached the couch, bag of clothes in hand. Billy recoiled at the words, shrinking deeper into the cushions. Kevin stopped walking. “Just got some stuff for ya, mind if I sit next to you?”

Billy’s eyes darted from the curtain to the giant of a man. Where did Mom go? How did he find her if he never left?

The man repeated his question. Billy nodded. It was better to let him do what he wanted. Safer. It couldn’t hurt worse than the ache in his chest.

“Here,” He said, setting the bag of clothes between them. “Chris is pretty big for their age and you seem a little small for yours so there should be some stuff in there that’ll fit you. Miles will just have to make do with the baggier stuff.” His smile was encouraging, gentle. “Sorry if it’s a little…unique. Chris has been going through some phases lately, but that just means more variety for you,”

Billy slowly leaned toward the bag, eyes catching glimpses of clothes. Stripes, plaids, polka dots, and sequins. Crop tops, flannels, button downs, sweaters, and vests. Shorts, jeans, cargo pants, sweat pants, and skirts. He glanced back to Kevin.

“Take what you want, it’s for you and Upshur, the rest is going to Good Will,”

Billy sifted through the clothes, trying to remember what he liked. When was the last time he picked out a shirt? Asked for a new pair of pants? Most of his clothes at home were hand-me-downs. He knew he didn’t like the uniform they gave him at the asylum. And that he didn’t like the shorts he wore in the cold place.

He liked Miles’ jacket. It was warm. It smelled like coffee and smoke, under the sickening scent of blood. Billy picked out clothes like that. Clothes that reminded him of Miles. A pale button down with plaid patterning. A cozy blue flannel. Worn but comfortable looking jeans. Soft socks with rubber grippers along the sole.

Kevin had taken out a container of food, picking at the contents with chop sticks as Billy sorted through the articles and compiled his favorites around him. On the table, Miles slowly sat up, blood and grime wiped away to reveal a patchwork of stitches and bruises and clean bandages left behind from the sisters’ work.

“You look like shit Upshur,” Kev said, gesturing with his chopsticks and eyes settling on the man’s hands as the reporter tried to push himself to his feet.

“Take it easy,” Billie hissed, grabbing his good shoulder. “Let’s get you to the couch. We’ll give Billy boy a quick check up then let you two rest up. You’re gonna need it.” The woman walked Miles to the seat, Kev reaching over Billy to pass on the bags full of clothes to the dazed patient.

“Kid, leave your stuff on the couch and come over here so we can get a better look at you,” Piper’s voice was friendly. Soft and inviting. And every fiber of Billy’s body screamed that it was a trap. Another test. Soft voices always led to numbing needles and suffocating quiet and then he would be underwater again, drowning but not drowning and breathing without air –

“Easy kiddo,” Kev’s voice rumbled beside him, a hand gripping his shoulder. Billy’s own hands were shaking, pins and needles loosening his grip on the clothes in his grasp. Darkness flickered at the edges of his vision, the ghostly afterimages from the Engine blurry against the white light from the makeshift operating room.

“Billy,” Miles. He knew Miles. Miles was safe. Never a trick. Never a lie. Not yet, at least. “You need to breathe,” He couldn’t see Miles, his vision crawling with those half corporeal insects that always seemed to eat his eyes and burrow into his skull. But Miles was there, a hardly felt warmth beside him. And Billy needed to breathe.

With a shaky inhale, chest aching for air, Billy blinked tears from his eyes, vision refocusing on his numb, shaking hands. And Miles’ hand, a mangled mess of bandages and bruises, gently rubbing some sensation back into Billy’s unfeeling palm. He lifted his eyes slowly, Piper and Billie and Kev seemingly unperturbed by the disturbance.

“They’re gonna help, okay? Not gonna hurt you,” Miles forced a smile, nodding to the sisters. Billy looked over Miles’ face, not quite meeting his eyes as he scanned the fresh stitches and bandages.

Eventually, he managed a stiff nod. Miles hadn’t hurt him yet, and the icy shadow that breathed down his back when the doctors lied and the nurses muttered under their breath was a distant chill. The people here were yet to pose a threat to him, at least, as far as the static specter in the back of his mind was concerned.  Billy stood on shaking legs, shuffle toward the waiting women.

“Easy, easy,” Piper said, hands hovering around him without making contact as she guided him to the operating room. “Can you sit here on your own?” Billy managed himself up onto the cold, metal table, his own body far away and actions automatic. He focused on his breathing, chest hollow and rattling with every exhale.

“It’s alright, you aren’t the first to freak out, won’t be the last,” Billie muttered, a sincere attempt of comfort him somewhere in her tone. He could hardly hear her, keeping his focus on Miles, who seemed equally anxious that they finish looking over Billy’s bruises and cuts.

“You’re in rough shape kid, but you’re doin’ a helluva lot better than Upshur,” Piper said, smile across her face, hands gentle as they held Billy’s head up to force his eyes to meet her own. “A lot of water, some food, and sleep will do you a lot of good.”

“Really?” Miles’ voice was hoarse, a whisper in the quiet room that drew all eyes to him. “He’s okay?”

“Far as I can tell,” Piper said, giving the journalist a shrug. “Physically speaking. Bruises, cuts, easy antiseptic wash and band aid. Throat is raw as hell but the best he can do is take it easy.” She guided Billy back to the couch, her hand gently resting on his shoulder.

“We need to clean up for the night, then we’ll put the lights out. I’ll take first watch,” Billie supplied as she stepped back into the operating room, moving a tray of bloodied tools to the sink. “Get some fresh clothes on and get some rest.”

“I’ve got to go make sure Chris’ sleeping well. I’ll pick you two up in the morning,” Kev said, pulling his wife into a hug before heading back to the door. “Night,”

“Night,” The sisters echoed back, softly rummaging back in the operating room.

Miles was already asleep, breathing deep and slow, broken ribs aching against bandaged skin. He looked cold. Billy shed the blood stained jacket, placing it over Miles’ sleeping form. The clothes were warm and dry and smelled of fabric softener. Mom never used fabric softener; it was too expensive to buy regularly.

But there was something comforting in the floral scent, the freshness of the clothes compared to the dingy couch beneath him. How long had it been since he had dressed himself? Without doctors and nurses buzzing around him like anxious mosquitoes, needles at the ready full of sedative?

He curled into a ball at the opposite end of the couch, listening to Miles’ breathing and the sisters’ quiet murmurs. Eventually the room grew quiet. And the light went out.

[lilydvoratrelundar]

4, 8, 12, 16, 24

what is your Gender Euphoria Outfit: i used to wear skirts occasionally but now they give me legg dysphoria sooooo... i don’t have one

how did you pick your name: I saw it in a d&d names list and was like “that’s better than the last one i chose. Mine.”

favorite trans headcanon: Romanadvoratrefuckinglundar

song that gives you Big Trans Feels: Rebel Rebel by David Bowie has the like “got your mother in a whirl, she’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl” (given that iirc he was genderqueer that makes sense). also the like “she was born Georgette but the name didn’t suit her well, so she flew out of Wisconsin as Dickey Chapelle” from Pearl’s Eye View by Nanci Griffith has trans vibes (i somewhat doubt the real person it’s based on was trans but ah well, i’ve claimed it now)

give some love to your trans friends/mutuals: you’re all fuckin amazing im just gonna tag a bunch of epic people (even if we don’t even talk or anything you’re all the coolest) @the-munchy-one @radmona @my-gender-is-glow-in-the-dark @zagreus-eats-your-bread @a-very-spooky-enby @dykethirteen @lovethellamas @randomclustermissile @hallelujahmomentz @shakestickatgod y’all’re awesome ❤️

[ask-chef-teruteru]

I don't normally go off of anon when saying stuff like this, but.... just stopping by to say that your blog is awesome and following you has been one of my best decisions on this site thus far! :)

“Oh! I feel so honored! It’s beyond sweet of y’all to give me a face n’ name to go alongside such an encouragin’ message! Im glad y’all’re enjoyin’ your time spent with me, and I hope y’all know I enjoy havin’ y’all here! It’s visits from sweethearts like yourself that make it so easy to wanna keep comin’ back here every day n’ gettin’ new posts out for all y’all! I hope I don’t sound like a broken record when I say this— though in a sense I hope I do because I want y’all to know, to have it so ingrained in mind it’s an obvious fact of life— I love y’all! Truly n’ completely!

Thank you for stoppin’ on by just to be nice to me! I really appreciate it and I’ll do my best to keep bein’ a great decision!”

[suitboxers]

Sketch portrait commissions for the amazing @fivefriendsinfiction <3 <3 Y’all’re awesome!