#y’all love being inclusive until it actually has results!!

[blorboy]

the education system only cares about disability accommodations until they actually start to work and we become competitive with the “normal” students. then suddenly we’re “over exaggerating” our own struggles and “abusing the system” when all we’re doing is trying to survive in a system that constantly abuses us.

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.22 (The Untitled Stan Jansen Project)

Miranda just broke one of the ultimate #bestfriendcodes i.e. Do Not Spill Each Other’s Secrets! Especially in front of a camera...smh

- Stan Jansen, a famous movie director is at Hillridge Junior High to film a documentary on the lives of the students there. While Lizzie and Miranda are thrilled about it, Gordo feels the opposite because he thinks that Stan will most probably put a spotlight on just the popular kids like Ethan and Kate.

- Moreover, Gordo prefers to be behind the camera instead of being the one on camera. For some reason, Gordo catches the attention of Stan and pulls him aside to introduce himself. Stan tells Gordo he loves his refreshing energy and wants to “keep an eye on him”; I still don’t understand why he’s drawn to Gordo.

The height difference between the two is insane

Gordo Throws Shade

- The next morning, Lizzie isn’t happy about what she’s wearing for school and wants to change outfits for the third time. Well, you know what they say; Third time’s the charm. 

I love Miranda’s shirt; It’s very punk rock and futuristic looking. 

- In school, Stan finds Gordo and refers to him as his “leading man”. Okay but when Animated Lizzie said that Gordo is one of these three attributes, ‘tall’, ‘dark’ and ‘handsome’, which one was she talking about? Was it ‘dark’ or ‘handsome’. Gordo is certainly not tall and doesn’t ‘dark’ mean tanned? So, it has to be handsome right? If so, that’s so cute how she thinks Gordo is handsome.

- Anyways, Stan wants Gordo to add a little drama to his performance in front of the camera. So when Kate comes into the frame and asks Gordo if he could walk her to class (which is obviously not what happens in real life), he throws her the ultimate shade and tells her to her face how he really thinks about her and it’s not good...

I kinda feel bad for Kate 

- Unexpectedly, Kate didn’t clap back at Gordo and I guess it’s because they’re on camera and she eventually leaves. Yikes! I mean, Gordo is right but he didn’t need to be that honest, especially when the cameras are rolling. 

- Well, Stan is very happy with Gordo’s performance but Lizzie and Miranda are kinda surprised by how brutally honest Gordo was to Kate. Gordo doesn’t feel any remorse because he feels like honesty is the best policy.

Gordo Crosses Over To The Dark Side

- After school, the trio are on their usual three-way phone call and Lizzie and Miranda really want for Gordo to find a way to get the both of them on camera. Gordo doesn’t think it’s a good idea but regardless, he tells them he will try to ask Stan.  

- Gordo also advises them that in order for them to get themselves noticed by Stan, they need to find their own voice and be themselves in front of the camera. Easy for him to say. 

Miranda needs to be more observant next time lol

- It seems like everyone at school is trying really hard to get their own chunk of screen-time because Hillridge Junior High basically looks like a circus now with everybody dressed up in colourful costumes and trying to showcase their talent. 

- Stan asks Gordo to go up to Larry Tudgeman and to “create conflict”, which means be mean to him. He asks Larry to describe himself, which he does in his quirky, ‘Tudgeman’ kind of way; Stan immediately gets bored and calls cut. Stan really wants Gordo to go in on Tudgeman and Gordo actually does what he says and proceeds to insult his looks and personal hygiene. 

- Lizzie and Miranda walk up to Gordo and they tell him that he was being mean to Larry. Gordo doesn’t listen to them because he’s been told by Stan that directors aren’t usually the ‘nice guys’. 

- This is when things get pretty interesting and not to mention, just plain awkward; Stan asks Gordo to introduce Lizzie and Miranda to the camera and we go down this rabbit hole, starting with Miranda saying that they keep each other’s secrets. Gordo becomes curious as to what these secrets are and Miranda, with her loose mouth accidentally reveals that Lizzie had a crush on Gordo in the 4th Grade! Shut the front door and say it ain’t so!

Miranda should have known better not to reveal that secret to Gordo, especially when in front of a camera!

- Lizzie freaks out and couldn’t believe that Miranda just blurted that out. She gets her revenge by telling everyone that Miranda used to snack on dog biscuits in the 4th grade. Basically, Lizzie and Miranda are now mad at each other and it’s all Gordo’s fault. Umm, it’s not his fault that Miranda can’t keep a secret.

Don’t Y’all Think That Stan Is A Creeper?

- Back at home, Lizzie feels really down about the whole situation and confides in her mom about what happened. Jo advises her to talk to them without the pressure of having to be filmed, which is the most obvious answer you can give. But, we do see Lizzie telling her mom that she used to like Gordo and Jo was like I KNEW IT! So, her mom ships them together I see. Good choice.

- We then see Lizzie and Miranda make up pretty quickly, which is for the better because I don’t need them to drag out their conflict any further. Meanwhile, Gordo is now targeting Ethan Craft and basically calls him good-looking but lacks any substance, which is highly offensive if you ask me. 

- Anyways, Lizzie and Miranda confront Gordo and tells him he’s being mean to people again. Gordo defends himself that him being that way is what’s gonna help him become a director in the future. Well, that’s what Stan is feeding into his brain. 

- They want Gordo to realize that the director is just using him and asking him to be someone he’s not. They also give him an ultimatum that they won’t want to be his friend anymore if he continues this mean streak of his and they head off into the girls’ room, which can I say it’s the perfect escape for them.

- At the Digital Bean, Gordo tries to talk to them again but his friends don’t want to deal with him until he stops listening to Stan. But the thing is, even when Gordo asks Stan to leave him alone, Stan doesn’t listen and continues to film him. It’s creepy how this grown adult is literally following and stalking a teenager with a camera and his crew. If I were Gordo, I would call my parents and give this guy trouble. 

Time To Make Things Right

- This is when the A-plot intersects with the B-plot. Matt and Melina are also at the Digital Bean because they also want to get the chance to appear in the documentary. 

Gordo is done with Stan, as he should be

- Gordo, who is frustrated with this whole thing gives a mini speech in front of the camera and calls Stan out by saying that he’s been encouraged by Stan to act mean to his friends. Stan is obviously not happy with Gordo at this point but Gordo doesn’t care because he wants his friends back. Luckily for him, Lizzie and Miranda saw the whole thing and they are happy to have the regular Gordo back as well. 

- Melina decides to play another prank on Matt by framing him for putting ketchup all over Stan’s video recorder. Stan sees Matt holding a ketchup bottle given to him by Melina and we then get a chase sequence between the two, which involves loads of ketchup and is that, cream and chocolate? This sequence resulted in this moment:

Attack of the Killer Tomato Sauce

- In the end, Gordo apologizes to his best friends for how he has been acting and Stan tells Gordo that he will never do business with Gordo ever again. Oh, what a shame.

B-Plot: Meet Matt’s Friend/’Girlfriend’, Melina Bianco

- Melina is first mentioned by Matt during breakfast when he informs his mom that he needs to stay back after school because he was framed by Melina for putting a rubber snake in the teacher’s desk. Matt doesn’t seem upset by this because he is somehow impressed by what she did. And of course, we suspect that he has a crush on Melina as well.

- We fast forward to later in the day (I think) and Matt is showing Melina his house and some of his fake accomplishments to which she immediately picks up on them being made up. However, her eyes set on Sam’s gnome statue, which is currently drying from a paint job and asks him about it. 

- This is basically when Melina sabotages Matt again. When Matt leaves the kitchen to set up his video game, Melina sneakily paints all over the gnome’s face, ruining Sam’s work. 

- Sam and Jo notices the butchering of the gnome statue and confronts the kids. Matt suggests to Melina that they both take the blame so that they would go easier on the both of them. Well, Matt should know by now that he cannot trust her like that and to no one’s surprise, she blames Matt and Matt admits he did it lol. 

- I thought Jo was smart enough to realise that Melina was the one who actually did it? I mean, she already knew from Matt that Melina framed him for the rubber snake incident. Or maybe she does know and she’s just doing this to teach Matt a lesson? I don’t know.

- We eventually get a montage of the both of them trying to frame the other for playing pranks on their teacher and classmates at school. And they seem to be having lots of fun; It’s such a weird relationship dynamic they have going on, no?

Overall Thoughts

- This episode was very packed, in a good way. The inclusion of Stan’s character generated a lot of drama within our main trio friend group. I hate to say it but I’m pretty sure there are real people in showbiz who are like Stan and they will do what they can to manipulate minors to get what they want. 

- He fed Gordo lies about how being mean and creating drama/conflict will make you a successful director. And it’s unfortunate that Gordo was caught up in all of that but at least he got out of it in the end. 

- We also know from watching this episode that Lizzie does indeed has or had a crush on Gordo. We got hints of it in episode 1.19, when Lizzie felt a little jealous about Gordo dating Brooke Baker. In terms of Gordo liking Lizzie back, there is no clear indication yet so far in the series but boy, we are going to get there pretty soon.

- The B-plot is actually pretty good. It’s nice to see Matt interact with a female friend (I mean girlfriend lol) from his age group just because we’ve seen Matt only have guy friends like Lanny and Oscar. Obviously, their relationship is portrayed in a silly, comedic way since they’re only kids. So, I won’t get into my deep thoughts about their strange relationship lol. 

[nyruratchet]

Notes 4 - The Morning After

“People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

There are pills for straight couples to avoid pregnancy after a few moments of bliss, there are pills to help people stay safe from contracting HIV, there are pills to recorrect the chemical imbalance for people struggling with mental issues; there are pills for EVERYTHING, but no one has derived a magical pill to fix the pain one feels when forced to wake up the morning after valentine’s day alone.

Actually, this problem doesn’t just exist on Valentine’s day. But, seeing as how I’m perpetually single, I can attest to the fact that this day is the most painful (all other holidays come second). Just yesterday, someone asked a question, “yall fall in love with niggas y’all meet on apps??”

My response: Honestly, what are the other options? This is a legitimate question...

Him: Go meet someone in real life...apps aren’t real life! You don’t know that nigga til u see him. In real life, u see everything you as over and over on the app.

Me: You do (meet them), but those are the same guys on the apps. And no one gives you the time of day at bars, events, etc. So, ur stuck with friends of friends, coworkers (nope) and apps...really (WTF?)

Him: Idk who y’all meeting but niggs stay tryin to see wassup on the low when I’m out...especially the damn gym!

Now, I then had to check him and remind him that, just because YOU are so attractive and have thousands of followers that men just flock to you, THAT IS NOT the average gay man’s reality. Just recently a black man on Grindr says he doesn’t like black men. Only whites and latinos. Yep, this is the world I live in. So when you all think I’m crazy to think I’m not in someone’s league, please know there are factors in the chess game that I’m aware of that you have NO CLUE about. Being the darker brother in the gay community is not easy and constantly I am made to feel like I’m not worthy of inclusion in it. Being dark is not acceptable. Nor is being skinny. Nor is not having a BBC (which is all anyone seems to value from us). Nor is being open to love; I’ve been faulted way too many times for that tbh. Almost as many times as I’ve been skinny-shamed or considered fem. Guys in our community are looking more for TS girls than black men. Period. I see “girls” on Grindr far too much. THERE, I said what I said. Grindr’s way of dealing with this influx...ask me to list myself as a CIS man. NO THE FUCK I WILL NOT! I’m a man. These labels are too much. can’t meet men in bars or apps or work. So, let me know...HOW?

To lose my virginity I had to get on craigslist and whore myself out like a rentboy (no money involved) only to get this catfish older man to respond. I was 21 years old and saw this as my only chance before moving to NY. Guys throughout my life up until this point (as i wrote about in my last post) had been ignoring me. I was invisible in the world of gay sex. I might as well have been a eunuch or a monk. I was always the “friend”...still am. So, I took this less then adequate gentleman and let him penetrate me for the first time; give me my first kiss (yuck, it was awful); and teach me a few things. I thought, after this, I’ll never have to settle for less than I deserve...BOY was I wrong.

Back to the part about me being invisible for a moment. Throughout high school, people knew I was gay. I told a few guys and expressed interest and they paid me no attention. COME TO FIND OUT, my (at the time good) friend Jonathan, had slept with a quite a few of them. (Backstory, I fell for Jonathan, he spurned me too, we became great friends, he then transitioned into being a woman, and now we don’t really talk). So, When I found this out, I was devastated. TO THIS DAY, I will never understand why I was not enough. I was SOOOOO nice to these guys. Dustin used to get picked on in middle school, and I used to stand up for him. Nick was the most beautiful boy in the world in high school with a smile that could like up the darkest soul and I would always root for him, etc. But, I wasn’t who they wanted. I mean, You think I’m a good guy now, you should have known me back then. I was such a kind spirit. My soul is so dark now and I don’t think that will ever be rectified.

These next instances are the reasons I will never be untainted. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. If you don’t want to cry, feel sorry for me, or worry, stop reading now.

I have been abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These stories are in sequential order.

When I was traveling once, I was drinking and felt like fulling one of my fantasies. I don’t remember why, but i know that I hadn’t been touched in a WHILE. And for a person who needs that, just a moment where someone can use you to “get off” is enough to make it through the night. One fantasy that is very popular in the gay community of being fucked by visitor who comes in the unlocked door and fucks you, then leaves after he finishes. No strings attached (NSA), photos presented beforehand (pics), usually some time of safeguards in place. I was new, and it was my fault. This guy sent me pictures on whatever app I was using, think it was Craigslist. He told me all his information, I told him where I was staying and said I’d be blindfolded, ready for him to fuck me when he walked in. As SOON as he walked in, I heard the door close and lock and I had a feeling something was wrong. He came up behind me, naked and grabbed my neck chokingly and SHOVED into me. And this guy’s body was WAY bigger than what he said. He was chub/stocky and nothing like what he had sent me. I tried to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want HIM. But clearly, he had done this before. And this was before catfishing was a THING. So, he wasn’t going to stop no matter how much I struggled. So, I resulted that this was a part of the “fantasy” that I had signed up for. I could NOT call this rape. I will never call that rape. Yes, someone lied to me, wouldn’t stop when I said so, but I was totally in the wrong here. I put myself in a situation to be taken advantage of by a stranger. That is one of the things that makes this fantasy so hot. Just happens in my case, that it went terribly awry,  So, I went limp and let him finish. He left. I locked the door and took down the posting I had made. My throat was on fire and he had pulled my hair too hard. But he was gone and I was alone again. 

Another time in a hotel room, laying over in Washington, Dulles I was getting ready for bed. I was hungry, so put my iphone on the charger, grabbed my food and went for the microwave on another floor. When I came back, my phone was charged enough to check my facebook. As soon as I opened it up, on my timeline it says “PAUL IS IN A RELATIONSHIP”. I said, wait...what? My Paul? the one who I helped move? The one I got a xmas tree for? The one I held while crying? The one I protected from himself? The one whose bed I was JUST in? The guy I had been talking to like every day? My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Now, I’m not nor have I ever been naive. We weren’t a couple. He wan’t mine. But I wanted him, made it known. He said lots of things that didn’t add up to much. But, I was in his life, so I accepted that until he could give me more. But when I saw THAT status. I LOST it! Why? because he had told me WORD FOR WORD: “I don’t want a relationship right now. I have some little twink guy from this broadway show who likes me, but I’m not interested.” I always did status checks to make sure I didn’t get blindsided. But alas, here I was despite all my effors. My body went NUMB. Tears ran down my face. I dropped to my knees and asked God or whomever was in charge of things WHY the FUCK was it not me?? Am I not cute enough? Am I too poor? Not successful enough? What did I do? I immediately texted my friend Ant and told her what was up and that I was ready to end it. Before I knew it, I was on a 3 way call. What no one knows is, at one point I was bathroom, in the tub, with a razor, a full bottle of advil, a bottle of wine to hopefully make the blood run faster. I had never contemplated killing myself. This was a knee-jerk reaction to someone I loved with every fiber of my being choosing to give his love to someone else who didnt even have to try! If he could throw me away after I gave all I had and more that I didn’t even know I had in me, and he STILL didn’t want me, how is anyone else gonna love/choose me? So, I was ready to end it. Cuz I knew, this would not be the last time this would happen; guys don’t seem to care who they hurt or how. Paul texted me and said he didn’t owe me any explanation “dude”.  But my friends talked me down from that ledge I was prepping to jump off. I also was terrified of doing it. I didn’t know if it would even work. And I didnt want my family to go through that. Till this day, that is why I could never commit suicide. I do think about it, yes. My life sucks. And try as I may, I don’t see a reason for me being here. And yes, I’ve been to many therapists ever since college. Its not a problem that can be talked out. I suffer from depression that can only be assuaged by fixing the problem; the problem is my life. (love, money, music). So, I just try to keep on. I’m not bi-polar; although, sometimes I wish I were. That is a diagnosis that can be managed with medication. My life, cannot be managed. But I’m trying...I am trying.

Now, as I mentioned before, not a big fan of coworker dating/fucking/etc. HOWEVER, there are 2 people I have always said I’d try if I had the chance. Because they may be reading this (doubt it, but I will fight my petty urges), We’ll just call them Trip and Kurt. Now, Trip and I have been messaging off and on doing this whole cat and mouse thing for years. He winds up telling me he’s interested but we couldn’t tell anyone at work; which I agreed to. And would have tried to keep his confidence, FOR HIM. He is really against work relations as well. This all started with grindr and just escalated to us talking off and on. Finally one day, he texts ME and asks “Hey sexy, you in NY?” I wasn’t. Was working. But I never post my whereabouts on FBOOK so, the question was warranted. He said he really wanted to fuck. Our paths kept not being able to cross. So, LONG story short, I rearranged my schedule and we set up a “date” at his place when I got back. I was working a redeye. Told him I’d get home, run my errands take a quick nap and be over to make a full day of it. Trip agrees with everything. I do exactly what I say (I’m a Leo, it’s what we do. We’re consistent. We’re straight forward). I pick up a bottle of $20+ wine to show him I really give a shit and to be courteous because a good southern boy doesn’t arrive at someone’s house empty handed. I knew he had been done wrong and I wanted to put my first foot forward, even if it was just sex he wanted. I message him when I was on the way back home...no response. Ok, I wanna shower. Text him again...tells me he’s out. I say, “ok well just tell me when to head over. I’ll be at home” He says “ok sounds good baby.”  Ok, so I take my hour nap so I don’t miss his text. (For me, you KNOW that is no small feat!) I get up and he still hasn’t messaged me. So I wait...and wait...and wait for 5 hours. Then I text him “Ok...well, headed to bed I guess. Hope you had a good night. (he’s scheduled to work the next day so I KNOW no late fun was happening)  But beforehand, my spidey senses were tingling. So, I got on facebook. OH, he’s out living his best life! Fuck MY time right? Awesome. I had a drink then went to sleep. Next day, he messages me that he fell asleep after getting home. BOO, so...you left your friends (after you went out...yeah, I saw the check-ins), hopped a train, got home, and never NOT ONCE thought to text me to tell me a damn thing?! But you say “sorry” and I’m supposed to just accept that? No. I wanted you past the point of that barrier I placed up barring all guys I worked with. You just took a big dump on that AND made me feel shitty in the process. I took that bottle of white wine to the head by myself at some point btw...

Now Kurt, he’s special...I met him and was immediately entranced. To keep this one shorter, he also told me HE DIDNT WANT TO DATE ANYONE. Guys need to stop telling these motha fuckin lies!  Ok, so I’ll be your friend. But I really like him. So, I’m minding my own business and facebook again notifies me, Kurt is in a relationship. OH? with WHOM? Oh! someone we work with? Someone you met AFTER ME?! Interesting...now, when this boy confessed a secret to me, I was totally loving and told him my past experiences and that he’s and amazing person, etc. So, the next time we work together, I don’t mention his new BF. He brings it up and explains how and why he fell for him. WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT, the boyfriend said the same thing I did about his secret but just BEFORE he happened to conceal it. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes when he told me that. It was like a smack in the face. If you don’t think I’m cute, just say that. But don’t talk about how someone’s heart won you over. Cuz I was here loving on you before. I went back up to my room (tipsy) turned on some Aaliyah and cried myself to sleep. I am never gonna be enough for these boys/men. I saw that now. Paul had recently resurged and re-exited my life after telling me he loved me. I WAITED for that! He was the first man to ever say those words. And they were supposed to mean something! And shortly after...he ghosted me again. So, I’m feeling pretty worthless at this point.

No matter what I do, I’m never good enough. I keep trying to be the best me and there is always someone there saying, nah...this other dude is better. Swipe left. “Thank you, Next” (I don’t like Ariana Grande btw.) I have this fear that when I’m old, some guy I’ve loved forever will find me and say, I married someone else. He’s gone now, he did me wrong. We can be together now. Like I’m only going to be someone’s choice after their first choices have bit the dust. That is NOT okay with me. 

So, here I am on Valentine’s day trying to explain to all of you who have someone to “come home to”. EVEN if you don’t like Vday, do not pretend that this day doesn’t matter or make people feel a certain way. I’m alone AND I’m lonely. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this unless you tell me how to not feel that way; and your explanation better not involve friends. Sorry, friends have their own issues and while checking in and venting is great, they can’t be your life support. They can’t help you take care of your heart. Especially if they are married, have kids, etc. You’re the single 3rd wheel. 

I tried to take myself to the movies. The movies I wanted were all sold out by couples. Dinner, tables full. So, I ate leftovers from yesterday’s dinner I cooked and am halfway through this bottle of wine. You cannot fault a person for wanting love. Finding it may have been somewhat easy/happenstance for you. And I try not to fault YOU for that. Everything has been hard for me. Literally, everything. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Because when something happens, I yell, scream, vent, handle it like Olivia Pope, then continue on. No one is there at night when i lay down. No one said Happy Valentine’s day to me today. No one is gonna smile at me when i wake up in the morning.  Nope, I have to survive my morning after by myself. No pill in hand to help.

“Children needing other children, yet letting our grown-up pride hide all the need inside...acting more like children, than children.”

[canaryatlaw]

alright, so today’s been a bit of a whirlwind. sadly my laziness (or chronic exhaustion, if you prefer that label) got the best of me and I slept through the middle church service and ubered to the last one since I was signed up for the nursery. this is why it’s better when I’m signed up for the middle service so I’m not tempted to skip out. but I made it there with a bit left in the service and got to watch it for a bit so that was nice. it was centered around joy, and the part at the end I got to witness involved a dancing christmas tree, menorah, and dinosaur onstage while they handed out krispy kreme donuts, because how else would you define joy??? (for context, they had their annual Christmas store event yesterday where they have low income families from the communities our church support come in and be able to buy presents for their children and families at very reduced prices, with all the proceeds going to charity, and while the adults are doing this they also do entertainment for the kids, so the costumes were leftover from that and I suppose they decided to put them to work. I heard that the little kids were very much NOT a fan of the dinosaur 😂) service ended and we had our volunteer huddle before heading over to the room where I helped with the pick up of kids from the last service and drop off for our service. I think we ended up with 4 helpers so that’s a decent number, and I think we had like 8 or so babies so that’s a pretty good ratio. things were fairly calm for the most part, a few of them were crying on and off but were ultimately consolable, didn’t have to call any parents so that’s always a win, especially when we found out at the end that one of the little girls we had had been having issues the last few weeks that resulted in calls to parents, and this was the first time that didn’t happen, so that’s encouraging. At the end of the service we cleaned up and I waited for the last parents to show up (always the ones that are volunteering in some capacity themselves so they tend to be the last to pick up) then headed out. The plan was to go to the place to get brunch for the date after church. I’m gonna try to explain the route of the blue line and the bus route the best I can because my navigation in this got a bit complicated. I can take the bus right from my corner to basically a straight line down. my church is right off the blue line, which intersects the bus twice, as the blue line makes a V in and out of downtown, traveling southeast until it hits downtown, then traveling southwest out of it, with church being on the southwest prong. I generally take the bus to the first intersection and take the V down to the church because it tends to be faster. the second intersection is only one station west of my church, but for some reason the bus service is really spotty from that station so I tend to avoid it. but this brunch place was right off the bus route, and it was before the first (northern) intersection of the blue line, so it made sense for me to take it one stop west on the southwest prong and take the bus from there, so that’s what I did, except the bus service was spotty and I ended up taking an uber from the train station to the place so I didn’t end up being late. Met up with the guy, there was a bit of a wait so we walked over to a coffee shop nearby and hung out for a bit until we got called. this place was entirely Ron Swanson themed (from Parks and Rec) which was really just so flipping fantastic, and the food was very good. He was a self-confessed nerd, so we talked a lot about comics and superheroes and all that good stuff, and at some point the conversation migrated to the various systemic problems in child welfare and criminal justice (probably because he was saying he tends to lean libertarian on some issues but still supported social services and such) which is always interesting. overall it was nice, I’m not sure if I’m feeling any romantic attraction but I guess we’ll see where it goes from here. Once we finished I got on the bus with the intent to take it the rest of the way home (and here’s where things get really complicated) until I got a phone call from who turned out to be the guy who had done the custom fitting for the suits the law firm I was working for was paying for us to get, and he had the suit and was passing through Chicago tonight and said if we could meet up I could try it on and get it. There was a tense moment when I was like “you know I’m not with the firm anymore, right?” and he said he did but the suit was still made and paid for so it’s mine. he was heading west into the city and was hoping we could meet before he hit downtown where he was meeting with the other women from the firm who I definitely did not want to see, and I knew there was a starbucks a few blocks from my church that would be in his direct path, and at this point the bus was just coming to the northern intersection of the blue line, so I hopped off the bus and got back on the train and took it down to where my church was (I told you this was complicated). So I bought a snack and sat down to wait, he showed up a few minutes later and gave me the suit to try on, so I went to the bathroom and like. guys. it’s so perfect. I love it so much. like I can’t even tell you. I like actually had been really sad about it because I thought I wasn’t going to get it anymore since I don’t work there but it’s made and it’s mine and I love it so much lol it’s great. the only thing I was kinda meh on was the button, but that’s super easy to get replaced so I’m not concerned about that. and like, it’s a fucking super nice suit, custom made, like that shit retails for like $1,000 so this was QUITE the bonus from a company I no longer work for 😂😂😂 so this was pretty awesome. I took an uber pool home because I didn’t want to deal with having it on public transit. when I got home I chilled for a bit and got ready for the first night of the crossover, which I was going to be livetweeting from the Batwoman Podcast account for the first time. Overall I thought the episode was pretty solid, I have to fangirl about what was by far the best part for me, which was of course the inclusion of Clark and Lois which they filmed on the Kent farm from Smallville, and when they transferred to that scene they played the iconic Smallville theme song that’s all like SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEE and y’all, I actually died. my soul left my body. I was legit screaming, like I CANNOT believe they actually did that. if we get more Smallville references in this crossover as its been hinted we might in the preview clip I will actually die and probably remain so. So I was completely overwhelmed by that lol. But I did of course watch the scene with the introduction of Lois to the universe and man, I love her so much already. Between schooling Clark on some sexism to being ready to fight off Oliver and Barry with a hammer to saying “go get him Barry!” because Oliver’s “kind of a joke” I just totally fell in love with her. she’s perfect. Of course then I absolutely died again when she called Clark “Smallville” in the same exact way that Erica Durance as Lois Lane did on Smallville which is a thing that was completely unique to Smallville, I screamed again and it was just so damn good. so that was obviously the highlight of it for me. the Barry and Oliver training stuff was interesting, I’m not sure how I feel about the whole “Barry has to draw on darkness to use Oliver’s skills” thing which just seems a bit unnecessary, but maybe they’ll pull it through. I thought the beginning was pretty funny with Oliver waking up to Iris and them all being so thoroughly confused about everything. Then there was the fight scene at the end which was pretty good all around, very inventive with the number of heroes participating in the fight and how their various power sets were used. Of course it peaked my interest that this was “Ivo” labs and the robot was named “AMAZO” which is intriguing because it’s a very different interpretation than Arrow took on the subject, yet it’s much closer to the overall DC universe lore about the character and his creations. I found it particularly interesting though that they were linking the mirakuru to the robot, which was of course something that came directly from Arrow’s plot regarding Ivo and the Amazo (ship) so I’m curious as to where they’re going from there on that subject (if it’s not just a throwaway line, anyway). The ending where they decided to go to Gotham and the shot of Batwoman on the roof was really fucking epic, and definitely a great place to end the episode. So yeah, excited for tomorrow’s installment and of course the Legends episode airing right after it that is sure to be fucking hilarious. Once that was over I watched this past week’s episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Blindspot before watching the last episode of the newest season of Great British Baking Show and I just want to say I’m very proud of Rahul and I hope he truly knows how talented he is and goes far in life. and yeah, shortly after finishing that I started getting ready for bed (and definitely wasted time in there somewhere) and now I’m here and it’s almost 2 am because I’m bad about this stuff, so I should really be getting to bed now. Goodnight my dearies. Hope your Monday doesn’t suck. 

[dinakaplan]

Holiday Stocking Stuffers 2017! (and surprise giveaway!)

Hello my friends & happy Wednesday! We’re ONE DAY away from the kickoff of my 5th annual 14 Days Of Giveaways!

Here’s the REVEAL of all the giveaways on YouTube today!

To get in the Holiday Gift Giving spirit, I’ve got a few of my top choices for Stocking Stuffers & any extras you may be looking to get your loved ones! (along with a surprise kick off giveaway below!)

1) Nuzest Protein & Hot Cocoa Recipe

Obviously lovin’ my Nuzest Protein as always and one of my new favorite ways to have it is as Hot Cocoa!

Just add about 1.5 cups of almond milk into a sauce pan & heat on medium heat until steam starts to form.

Then whisk in 2 scoops of Nuzest Chocolate Protein & pour into a mug, let cool, & add some (optional but amazing) whipped cream.

It’s a perfect thick & relaxing drink for the colder months! As always, you can use code “POWERCAKES” for a 15% off discount!

2) Fa La La La Lashes!!

My adorable friend from home, Kati, is an Physical Education teacher with an adorable little family. I noticed her beautiful lashes and she mentioned how she had been using/selling Lash Boost and loved the results.

My best friend Sarah also was using Lash Boost & she would be the first to say if she loved it or not and she LOVES IT. I was sold & started using it a few months back.

Here are Sarah’s results — crazy right!?

I personally don’t have naturally long lashes as you can see on the left image.

On the right is 3 months in & I’ve definitely noticed a difference in length & fullness.

ok, it’s also super hard to take a picture of your OWN eye! ha sorry for the lovely photo.

Right now there is a special for 2 Lash Boosts & 2 exclusive lash boost cosmetic bags for $243.00 where individual lash boosts are $135 so you’ll save! 

You can get the bundle to gift one to a friend & have one for yourself.

*If you order through my girl Kati by 12/20 you will also get to choose an essential item for FREE (a foaming sunless tanner, daily body moisturizer, lip shield, or body sunscreen!).

You can order through my girl Kati by contacting her at KatiAltieri35@gmail.com or on her website, KAltieri.myrandf.com

3) Chef’s Foundry Ceramic Knives

Ok y’all…it’s like the internet elves heard my wish list. I JUST told my parents a few weeks back how some new knives for Christmas would be wonderful since mine are legit from my freshman year of College & starting to…yes…rust!

Corey and I were in need of some “adult” knives in our apartment so when Chef’s Foundry reached out about their P600 knives…I was like, YAAASSSS please!

These knives are 10x Sharper & Harder Than Steel with the Zirconium Ceramic blades being made from is the hardest material known to man other than diamonds. This means faster, more precise cutting.

These knives are AMAZE. I’m a huge fan.

Not only do they look sleek but they also cut anything and everything with hardly any effort.

We made a turkey breast for Thanksgiving…cut through that like “buttah”.

I also use them for everyday things like hard boiled eggs & potatoes — perfect every time.

You can get yours at Chef’s Foundry for an awesome launch special of $69!! (Originally $276).

  4) KNOW Better Foods

KNOW Better Foods has been one of my favorites for a while now.

Their bakery type items like breads, muffins, donuts, & waffles are KILLER yum and made all-natural, minimal ingredients, non-GMO, grain-free and great tasting alternative to traditional grain-based bread that is gluten, wheat, dairy, peanut, soy, yeast, & preservative free!

I recently got to try their pasta, cookies, & syrup. Their pasta is high in protein and made with one ingredient —-> Chickpeas!!

I put together a chicken noodle soup in my Instant Pot (obsessed with this thing) yesterday and made the noodles on the side to add in after the soup cooked. Perfect combo!!

5) KIS Jewelry

KIS Jewlery has a unique story to their name. As time marched on KIS® evolved into their nickname, then their brand and finally their mantra, “Keep It Sensational”.

Whether it’s inspirational or fashionable, they hope that you feel extra special when wearing their one-of-a-kind jewelry creations.

I was instantly drawn to the Inspirational products that they offer. My eye latched onto the Bolo Adjustable HOPE Necklace & the Crystal Feather Hooked Bracelet because I love the word HOPE & I love feathers.

All of these pieces are SUPER affordable and would make an awesome stocking stuffer.

6) Matcha Muscle (and a GIVEAWAY!)

Matcha Muscle is just what you may think….Matcha that also helps rebuild those beautiful muscles with the inclusion of 10g of Organic Pea Protein per serving! Genius.

Matcha has been all the rage lately, and with good reason, as it has the nutritional equivalent of 10 cups of regular steeped green tea leaves.

When drinking Matcha, whether it’s as a tea in hot water or mixed with drinks, you are consuming the entire tea leaf. This means you get 100% of that green tea goodness as opposed to the 20% of nutrients actually consumed with steeped tea leaves. 

Matcha Muscle is giving away a prize pack of their products so you can have your matcha & build recover after your training as well!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This will only last for a few days so make sure to get your entries in, friends!

Also – make sure you’re subscribed to the blog so you don’t miss any day of the giveaways starting TOMORROW!! ;]

Be true to you,

xo Kasey

          All items have been reviewed and all opinions are my own, as always! #betruetoyou

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