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raineydays411 · 4 years ago

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And the adventure begins

Bruce Banner x daughter!reader

A/n: yay! Another part out! Finally lol. Now time to work on my Loki fic and ignore this one for two weeks lol💀 jk I’m trying to keep up y’all I promise. Anyway hope you like it💕💕

Masterlist

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Now that you think about it, maybe you shouldn’t have skipped school today. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

....On another planet. Watching Thor be forced to fight some old dudes “Champion”, whatever that means.

Let’s go back to the beginning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nerves filled your body as you walked to school. You had an audition in the school play today and you were determined to get the part. Tony had offered to take you to school today but you decided to walk as it would give you extra time to learn your lines. As you pushed through the busy streets, occasionally bumping into a random pedestrian, you heard some girls whispering.

“Oh my god is that..”

“Yes! oh my go, he's so handsome”

“Ask him for a selfie”

“No you go ask hm”

At first you rolled your eyes, thinking it was just some youtuber or Tik tok star, you kept walking, eyes down re-reading your script. Then you heard the girls speak again.

“Thanks Thor, I’m sorry Jane dumped you.”

Hearing the name, your head swiveled up. You scanned the crowd looking for the blonde man, at first missing him as he wasn’t in his usual outfit of a cape and battle armour. But then you saw him, in a hoodie and some jeans. Picking up the pace, you jog toward the god not noticing the darker clothed man next to him.

“....it was a mutual dumping”

“I didn’t know the renaissance fair was in town” you say, a small smirk making its way on your face at the quip.

Both Thor and ...Loki?! Turn around in surprise at the sudden voice behind them. Only to see you looking up at them with a arched brow.

“Lady Y/n! How wonderful it is to see you” Thor boomed as he brought you into a bone crushing hug. Over his shoulder you could see Loki roll his eyes.

“Honestly, had I known this trip would consist of young woman flocking to you, I would have allowed your hammer to kill me.”

Thor ignored his brother as he put you down. “My how you’ve grown.”

You smile and say, “Well the last time you saw me I was twelve.” Then you eye Loki with distrust. “Um Thor, why’d you bring brother dearest back to New York?”

Loki looks at you with distaste, “ Who is this child, and why is she conversing with us?”

“Brother” Thor warns and then turns to you, “ Lady Y/n, we are searching for our father, it seems as if my brother” Thor harshly pats Loki on the shoulder, “ Has misplaced him.”

You look at Loki and then look at the building that has been demolished

, “ Woah, I didn’t know Gods put their parents in nursing homes” You say “ If you want we can go back to the Tower and try to track him down”

Thor smiles at the suggestion, “ A wonderful idea, tell me, how have my comrades been in my absence?”

You cringe at the thought of explaining the events of the so called “Civil war”. Then notice a ring of sparks forming around Loki.

“Uhh Thor” You say as you nod your head

“What’s this..wha.what are you doing?” He asks in alarm. Loki looks confused as the sparks get larger and more erratic.

“ This isn’t me” Loki says in confusion. Then suddenly the ground opens up beneath him and he falls through with an alarmed “Oh!” only leaving behind a business card. You and Thor look at each other, confusion written on both of your faces.

“Loki” Thor whispers as he nudges the card with his umbrella. You look at him with concern and think to yourself

“Does..does he think the cards Loki?”

You bend down to pick up the business card and read it out loud.

“177a Bleeker St” you look at Thor and ask,” Do you know anyone from there?”

“ No” He says, ‘ i don’t even know where that is.”

You sigh, looking down at your script and making a decision. “ Well, lets go find your brother.”

And with that, you turn around and start walking to your destination.

“Oh well, school can wait”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Thor find yourselves in front of two big black doors. You stand near Thor as he raises his hand to knock. Suddenly, before his hand is able to touch the door, you find yourselves inside the building.

“What the fuck?” you mutter to yourself as you look around.

“Thor Odinson” a deep voice says. You look up to see a floating figure in the shadows coming towards you both. Thor pushes you behind him as he holds him umbrella threateningly. If you weren’t in potential danger, you would have laughed at the sight. The figure floated into the light and you saw it was a man.

He was wearing a cloak and some weird robes with yellow gloves. He was relatively handsome, salt and pepper hair that was slicked back, high cheek bones and a goatee. He wasn’t horrible to look at. His deep, baritone voice was soothing.

“God of Thunder” He said looking at Thor. He glanced at the umbrella. “ You can put down the umbrella.” Then his gaze turned to you.

“Y/n Banner. I wasn’t expecting you here” He said eyes narrowing at you,” Shouldn’t you be in school?”

You chuckled nervously, “ Eh, how can I abandon a friend in need?”

The man smiles and looks back at Thor and suddenly your in a different room. Looking around in awe you hear Thor start talking.

“So..Earth has wizards now” He says, picking up a dagger from a display on a table, then dropping all of them trying to put them back. You try to hold back a laugh, feeling embarrassed for the god.

You might have failed though because Thor looked at you with an unimpressed glance. You giggle out loud this time, as you watch him struggle with the knives. Everytime he managed to put one back, another fell.

“The preferred term is Master of the Mystic arts...” Clank! another knife falls. The man looks very unimpressed, at your giggling and Thor's clumsiness.” You can leave that now.”

At those words Thor leaves the knifes, trying to regaine his cool, he leans against the table.

“Alright wizard, who are you and why should I care?”

“Thor! That’s rude!”

Ignoring you, their conversation continues,

“My name is Dr. Stephen Strange and I have some questions for you.” He says as he eyes you and Thor. “Have a seat”

Within a second you’re in another room in the building...or least you think it is. The wind blows your hair back as you are suddenly dropped into a chair. You can see Thor look around startled and confused at the sudden setting change. You’re sure your face mirrored his as well.

“Tea?” Dr. Strange asks nonchalantly, a cup of tea appearing in your hands. You look at it in awe, not used to this level of magic, or magic at all. Thor on the other hand looked unimpressed with the cup.

“I don’t drink tea.” He says examining the cup that looked small in his hands.

“Well what do you drink?”

“Not tea.” Thor says shaking his head. You roll you eyes as you go for a sip of tea, but before you can a large pitcher of beer was in its place. You look up at the two men with a raised eyebrow.

“I hate to be a bother, but I do drink tea”

Strange looked at you in amusement as he returns the beer to tea.

“Jesus made water into wine, you make beer into tea. Interesting..” You say as you sip your tea. It was perfectly brewed of course. Dr. Strange smiled at the comparison

“Well its not exactly like that” Then he turned to Thor, “ So, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from the realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother Loki is one of those beings.”

You scoff and roll your eyes and mutter, “Yeah no kidding.” Then you finish the last sips of tea, as you bring it down, the glass is already refilled

Thor looks up from his glass that he basically chugged,”Thats a worthy inclusion” His beer is refilled as well. He looks at it in astonishment.

“Then why bring him here?” Strange asks leaning forward.

“We’re looking for my father.”

“So..if I were to tell you where Odin was..all parties concerned would return to Asgard” He then looks at you, “ or upper Manhattan.”

“Promptly” “Try and keep me away from this place.”

“Great then I’ll help you...and get to that later”

You smirk at the doctor, knowing that it’s basically impossible to squash your curiosity once you get started. Then you realized something.

“Wait, if you knew where Odin is, why didn't you tell anyone?”

“Well he was very adamant he was not to be disturbed,” He turned to Thor, “Your father had chosen to remain in exile. Also you don’t have a phone.”

“Hmm, no I don’t have a..a phone but you could’ve sent an electronic letter. It’s called an email.”

“Thor you don’t have a computer.”

“What for?”

You lock eyes with Dr. Strange and share a look.

“Uh huh well, my father is no longer in exile, so if you can tell me where he is, the quicker I can take him home.” Thor then takes a sip of his beer.

“Okay, hes in Norway.” Suddenly your on your feet again standing an a library of some sort. You’re a bit unbalance and catch yourself on the self. Strange is muttering to himself as he looks through a book. Then again, you’re in another room with a shelf. Nearly falling over you cling onto Thor, but he’s in no better shape than you, beer spilling everywhere.

“Oh we don’t need that” Boom, in another room, this time you do fall and Thor breaks another shelf. He places the glass on a table, shaking the spilled beer of his person.

“Can you stop doing that?” He asked irritated

“Please” you add in, looking up from your place on the ground.

You’re on your feet in a blink of an eye, feeling dizzy at the continuous movement.

“Can I..I need a piece of your hair.” Strange says looking at Thor.

“Let me tell you something, my hair is not to be --OW”

You smile sweetly as you pass the yanked out hair to the Strange. “ Here you go Dr. Wizard.” He makes a face at the nickname but takes the hair with a nod of thanks. Thor looks at you in betrayal.

“Don’t be such a drama queen” You say rolling your eyes. You then walk away from the duo, examining books and artifact that were in the room. You were too caught up in looking at all the cool stuff you didn’t pay attention to the rest of the conversation. Suddenly you were in the front room again. You managed to stay on your feet as Thor tumbled down the stairs. You watched in amazement as Dr. Strange did some hand movements and created a shape in sparks.

“Could’ve just walked.” Thor muttered as he brushed the dust and wrinkles out off of his clothes.

“He’s waiting for you.” Then Dr. Strange turned to you,” Would you like to go home Ms. Banner?”

You looked at him with consideration,” Um Mister Strange, do you think you can help me find my dad?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Then he turned to Thor,” Don’t forget your umbrella.

“Oh right.” Thor sticks his arm out like he’s summoning his hammer. You look at him confused. Then you here several bangs and crashes, as if something is being thrown around the rooms.

“ohhh thats where your hammer went”

Dr. Strange looks at Thor unimpressed again.

“Sssorry” The umbrella lands in his hands and he brushes the glass off the hammer.” I suppose I need my brother back”

“Oh right”

The a portal appears a few feet off the ground, in comes Loki screaming as he falls and hits the ground.

He flips his hair back as he catches his breath, “ I have been falling..FOR THIRTY MINUTES”

You snicker as you go to help the god of mischief up,” Come on reindeer games, lets get you up”

He doesn’t decline your help but he doesn’t thank you either. You turn to see Thor and Strange shake hands.

“Handle me?!” “Oh boy” “ Who are you?”

“Loki..”

“You think you’re a sorcerer? Don’t think for one minute--”

“Alright bye bye” The portal then is thrown to them as Loki charges with two daggers.

It’s silent in the room as you whislte,” Well he’s very catty.”

Strange laughs as he nods,” Come on kid lets find your dad.”

You’re then taken back to the library and you give him a piece of your hair.

“You have had quite the adventure today.” Dr. Strange says as he looks through the books again.

“Ehh, when you live with the Avengers stuff like this is an everyday thing.”

“I could imagine” He says smiling at you. “ Well..it seems like your father is off world”

“Off world?” You question,”why would he be...?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Then a bag appeared in front of you.

“I have a feeling you won’t stop searching until you find your father.” He nods to the bag. “ Everything you need to survive in Sakkarr is in there, I trust you know how to use knives?”

“Yeah, Bucky taught me.”

“Perfect, now you must try to get on the grandmasters good side, that’ll give you the resources you need to find your father. Don’t get caught by scavenger or scrapper , you’ll either get eaten or sold into slavery.”

“Slavery?” you ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Sakkarr is known to be the ‘dump’ of the universe. It’s filled with people you must be weary of. The main entertainment are these gladiator type fights the Grandmaster puts on.” He thinks for a bit the conjures up a portal. He pulls a amulet out of it then hands it to you. “If you find your father, or need a quick escape, rub this amule three times t and I’ll make a portal for you to come back home”

You nod, nervous to go on your personal mission. You look up at Dr.strange and hug him. “ Thanks Dr.Wizard.”

He pats your back uncomfortably,” It’s Stephen.”

You let go of him and smile,”Well, beam me up Scotty”

He rolls his eyes and creates a portal, you take a deep breath and look at him. He sends you a reassuring smile and you’re filled with determination. Then you step through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You step through it to see...the steps to some weird looking palace. You look around to see an even weirder looking city. It looks like its built out of scraps of metal or parts. You walk up the steps and into the palace. You look around, astonished at the amount of people??

Beings. So many different kinds of aliens. All different colors and shapes. It was like a Star Wars movie. Then you see a familiar face.

“Loki??”

He looks up at you in confusion, you speed towards him, happy to see a familiar face. Even if it is Thor's evil brother.

“Ah Thor's child friend. This doesn’t seem like your type of setting.”

“I’m looking for my father, Stephen says he’s here.”

He scoffs, looking around the room. “It seems everyone is looking for their fathers.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in Norway with Thor and your dad”

“Well it seems that father dearest has been hiding a secret daughter. Who appeared after my father died. And is destined to destroy Asgard.”

“Well shit” you blurt out. “Are..are you okay?”

Loki looks at you like you’re a puzzle.

“What.”

“Well..” you start nervously, “it sounds like a traumatic experience, so..are you okay?”

He’s quiet for a few minutes, just staring at you. Suddenly he turns around. “We must see the grandmaster. He’s the only one who can guarantee your protection, and I’m sure you would prefer not to be slaughtered brutally in the competition.”

He walks ahead of you, and you stare after him wondering what just happened. Then after he noticed you’re not following him he turns and says

“Well, come on. I haven’t got all day.”

“Oh right.” You catch up to him and walk by his side. Looking around in wonder.

“Why are you looking around like that?” Loki asks as he makes his way through a crowd of...pink women. They had their hair in very intricate styles and weird metallic unitards. They eyed you as you passed by them.

“I feel like I’m in a Star Wars movie.” You pass by a man, he looked almost reptilian. He had pale yellow skin with green slits as his eyes. He looks like he was gambling or something.

“I don’t know what that is. Why would stars commence in battle? It makes no sense.” Loki scoffs as he turns to look at you. You laugh at his misunderstanding.

“I just..never seen..” you trail off not knowing how to explain. Luckily, Loki seems to get what you were says.

“ I can see this is a bit of a change for you. But..you have seen people from other planets before.”

“ yeah..it’s just a lot to take in.” You smile at Loki, “ I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I can freak out about it after I meet the Grandmaster.”

He nods his head and starts walking again, but this time he’s closer to you. Finally, you reach a large room. It’s filled with guards all wearing different colored armor. They part as Loki walks through them, confident with long strides. You follow him, shrinking under their gaze. Loki leans down to whisper to you

“ when you meet the grandmaster, do not be too meak . And do not mention anything about your father till I tell you. Actually, just follow my lead.”

You look up at him and before you say anything, a large woman appears in the room. She looks normal to you. Stocky, a stern face with white markings. A slicked back bun. She’s wearing yellow armor with black accents. She’s holding a large staff with an orb attached to the end.

“ Didn’t the Grandmaster just see you” she says to Loki, glaring at him. Loki smiles charmingly and says

“Oh yes, but it appears that I have found a...friend.. of mine. She, like I, has arrived here on Sakkarr by accident and is hoping to meet with the Grandmaster.”

Then Loki nudges you in front of him, and into the view of the woman. She looks at you with distaste.

“ Poor child is skin and bones. She’s puny.”

You look in offense, but before you can say anything Loki spoke for you.

“Yes, and that’s why I have decided to take her under my wing.”

“ Can she not speak for herself? You expect the Grandmaster to—“ “ Easy Topaz”

“Loki! How wonderful to see you again, even though it’s been about twenty minutes”

A voice cut through the air. Suddenly everyone in the room stood up straight. Topaz immediately stopped talking and turned. A man came in on a floating throne. He was wearing red, blue, and gold robes. He had a blue line down his chin and blue under eye liner. He...he looked like..

“Jeff Goldblum?”

Loki looked at you like you were insane and the Grandmaster and Topaz just looked confused.

“What did she call me?” He whispered to Topaz, she looked at him in equal bafflement. She then tries to hand him the staff.

“ Why are you handing me the melty stick?! She had a slip of a tounge! That’s not a capital offense”

“What is wrong with you?” “I’m sorry! It just slipped out!” “ Do you want to die” “To be fair, that was the biggest compliment I could have given him. Jeff Goldblum is basically a god of cinema.”

Topaz looked at the Grandmaster, “ apparently this..Jeff.. is a god from her world.”

“Hm, child.”

You and Loki stop your whisper arugument and turn to the Grandmaster.

“Come forward.”

You look at Loki in fear and step up to the floating throne.

“Hm” The man says as he examines you. You suddenly feel self conscious about what you’re wearing. A Jurassic park shirt (ironically) with a turtleneck under, some plaid pants and converse. To be fair you weren’t expecting to end up on a different planet.

“I don’t know what Jurassic park is, but look there’s a big lizard on her shirt” he says to Topaz, “ you like lizards?” He asks you. Your eyes widened at the question not expecting it.

“Oh I think I’ve embarrassed her, it’s okay if you like them. I don’t personally like them, they’re all scales and fast and blegh” the Grandmaster rambles then Topaz chimes in

“ and they can grow back limbs”

“Yes! That’s disgusting”

“ I’m sorry, it’s not a lizard, it’s a dinosaur ” you explain. “ it’s from a movie, it has Jeff Goldblum...”

You trail off as they stare at you.

“ Go on, you keep mentioning this Jeff Goldblum, I’d like to hear more about him.”

So there you were, explaining all the different movies Jeff Goldblum was in. From the Fly to Jurassic Park. Everyone seemed...intrested. The Grandmaster somehow got it in his head that you were this great storyteller. So now you were on his good side, just like Loki.

“ Storyteller, I welcome you to Sakkarr! I have never met a child with such interesting stories!” He turns to Topaz, “ Aren’t they entertaining?! So adventurous!”

“ I think they’re weird.” “ Oh don’t be such a buzzkill”

“ I thank you Grandmaster, for being so gracious with my...ward” Loki says, “I assure you that I will keep her out of trouble.”

“ Yes yes, now go, if she is going to stay here, she’ll need to fit in. Topaz, see if you can find a tailor for the child, she’ll need a change of clothes. You as well Loki”

She nods and gestures for you both to follow her. As you walk through the futuristic castle, you are completely in awe. Even though you live with Tony, this is a different kind of technology. Topaz gives you both a tour. She mentions the fights and the arena, but you don’t pay too much attention. Finally you make it to the tailor. After being fussed over and much debating, you finally come to an agreement.

You end up with a sort of body armor. With a black catsuit made out of a leather like material, there were pieces of armor covering your legs, hips, torso, shoulders and arms. Blue fabric was wrapped around your waist, draping down the front and under the armor there. There was also fabric wrapped around your upper arm and shoulders preventing the straps from rubbing against your skin. Finally, to top it all off, a long blue cape drape down your shoulders. You felt awesome. You took the daggers Stephen gave you out of the bag and attached them to your hips. And the amulet around your neck.

“What do you think?” You asked Loki. He looked at you for a bit.

“Your daggers should be attached to your thighs, that way the hilts are at your fingertips and not your shoulders.” He squints for a bit, “ that cape looks ridiculous.”

“Fuck off man I look awesome.”

Loki just laughs and goes to put his outfit on. “ Such foul language for a child.” Then he comes out fully dressed. With a yellow cape.

“ oh? My cape was ridiculous?”

“Hush.”

You smile, and a silence falls between you both. You sigh and look down, playing with the end of your cape. Loki looks at you, examines your face, then looks away.

“ Why...why did you ask if I was alright?” He questions, “when you first saw me..?”

You looked at him your face scrunched in a puzzled expression, “ because.”

“Because what?” Loki asks, not understanding where your coming from.

“ I don’t know, because like I said, something that traumatic must’ve been shitty. I know I wouldn’t be okay.”

“I do not understand you. Why care about someone you never met? Nevertheless someone like me?”

“Someone like you?” Now you were really confused. What does he mean by that?

“No midgardian would trust me. Especially after...” He stops, hinting about the attack of New York. “ I am not... not a good person. Nor a good influence. Not for a child.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Your words seem to startle him.

“I beg your pardon?”

“ That’s. Bullshit.” You stand to face him.

“Loki, I’ve known you for about six hours. And in that time, you managed to help me gain favor of a ruler, enough for him to give me a room to stay in and new clothes. You also helped me when you could’ve just left me alone. From what I’ve seen, you’re pretty chill.”

“Chill?” He asks quirking an eyebrow.

“A good person.”

He stops and looks at you, “ you think I’m a good person? Even though I nearly destroyed your planet?”

“ Sure. We all make mistakes.”

He stares at you for a while. Smiles briefly and then gets up from where he was leaning.

“ You, my dear, are one odd child.” He walks out of the room. “Come along, I must get you to your room. It’s late and I am certain you e had a long day.”

You follow him to your room, turns out someone was paying attention to the tour. He leads you to your temporary room, shows you how to open the door and lock it, then makes sure your settled.

“Well, it’s time for me to retire. Good night child.”

When he doesn’t get a response he turns around, he sees you’ve fallen asleep on the bed. He chuckles at the sound of you muttering in your sleep.

“ An odd child indeed.”

Then he covers you, turns out the lights and shuts the door. Leaving you to go to his room.

( he promptly freaks out over how quickly he’s grown fond of you.)

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Taglist: @ella-ivanov

#thor ragnarok #bruce banner x daughter!reader #loki x teen!reader #marvel x reader #loki x poc!reader #avengers x teen!reader #bruce banner imagine #bruce banner #hulk #marvel #thor odinson #reader insert #poc reader #thor odison x reader #dr strange

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kirishimas-manly-eyeliner · 4 years ago

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A full, entire list of headcanons for a day with:

1. ☼ waking up with him ☼6am-8am

LISTEN UP Y’ALL

IF YOU DON’T SIMP FOR EIJIRO, JUST THINK:

YOU WAKE UP EVERY MORNING TO SEE HIS BEAUTIFUL, MESSY, CHAOTIC BED-HEAD WITH HIS HAIR DOWN AND HIS ADORABLE TIRED LIL’ SMILE

now if THAT doesn’t make you simp, you CONFUSE ME

anyways, so-

if there’s one thing that kirishima chooses to do, it’s to wake up early. i am so sorry to those who enjoy sleeping in, but hey, it’s the price we gotta pay to simp 😔✋

but omfg y’all, is the sweetest baby ever when you wake up with him! kirishima would most likely cuddle you first thing in the morning (…as in like 5 am-) and pull you in closer, planting a kiss on your forehead

“’morning, my beautiful pebble, d’ya sleep well?”

butcanwepleasetalkabouthowcutehisvoicewouldberightwhenhewakesup

you’ll also probably wake up to an insane amount of talking and chatting with him, and by six o’clock, he makes sure that you’re ready to be on your way

the sun is still rising where you guys are, so it’s actually pretty dark where you guys are

he ruffles your hair as he takes you on walks outside, hand in hand, no matter how tired you are

expect him to piggy back you, saying that it’s manly bc IT ISSSSS

2. ✎ doing online school with eijiro ✎ 8am-12pm, 2pm-4pm

“i think i’ve lost complete and utter trust in everything,” you groan. “i can’t even trust my video and mute button, and i need to trust those!”

kirishima grins at you as he plants a kiss on your forehead. “how ‘bout i buy you something tasty during break, huh?”

“kirishima, we’re literally broke,” you deadpan, half-joking but half speaking realistically.

“so what?” you’ve been working so hard lately, i figured that you at least deserve something as a reward.” he squeezes your shoulders from behind your seat (don’t worry, your video’s off for now :))

you raise an eyebrow. “…something?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“yeah! like maybe we could go for a walk, or-” he stares at your expression before he realizes what you implied. “baby, this is a sfw blog, we’re not allowed to-”

kirishima also most definitely pulls up a chair next to you in class, even though he doesn’t even know what you’re doing. he might not be in that class, but he’ll be right next to you the whole time in case you need help

when you do need help, he peers over your shoulder and helps you solve whatever problem you have right away

the sweetheart also gives constant reassuring reminders to drink water, i LOVE HIM

but when he leaves, he also says, “study and work hard, y/n! i’ll be right here for you during break!”

he promises you a kith and a hug if you keep on striving during online classes 🥺

kirishima likes to come in during class when your video is very much on, and he peeks his head in, waves, and then smiles before heading back out of the frame

“y/n, how do you fight villains, kick butt, literally stand up for an entire school, but you still rehearse how to say here?”

“shhhhh, i’m trying-”

another scenario, “y/n, can you please answer question four?”

“sure. the book that i chose for my report was the fault in our stars by john green, which implies the message that-”

“BABY, YOU GOTTA SEE HOW LOUDLY I CAN CLAP MY HANDS IF I USE MY QUIRK-”

you mute yourself, “DON’T YOU DARE-”

he makes online school almost exciting, and he just makes everything so much more enjoyable

kirishima also takes your hand, squeezing it tightly as he kisses your knuckles. “i’ll start making lunch. good luck baby!”

3. ♨ meals and afternoon walks with eijiro ♨ 12pm-1pm

HATE YOU BREAK IT TO Y’ALL BUT EIJIRO KIRISHIMA CANNOT COOK FOR THE HECK OF IT

y’all have seen him in the training camp thing,, right??

kirishima might not be the best at cooking, but you can count on him to take you somewhere!

man knows the best places where you live, and he just about literally gets whatever you want

you guys probably leave for a walk during break at noon, and kirishima makes sure that you feel safe and comfortable around him no matter what

afternoon walks are probably the most interesting part of your day, and the way lets you put your hand in the pocket of his hoodie just- 🥺🥺

i think something that isn’t stressed enough is people who seem less vulnerable being attacked by predators, so if anyone even dares to approach you, kirishima will LITERALLY POP OFF

not like the quirk pop off-

“HEY! that wasn’t very manly of you!”

as you walk along the way, kirishima makes sure to never let go of you and make sure you feel completely safe with him

you two probably stop by a nearby restaurant and get some sort of food to-go before heading back and eating during class, but shh your teacher doesn’t have to know-

he’s such a sweetheart like honestly

kirishima makes every meal taste like 50 times better, and he makes sure that you eat and drink lots of water!

but if you’re honestly having trouble with your appetite, kirishima makes sure not to push you too hard

he holds your hand if you ever get scared, he tells a joke ease your mind a lil’ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

eijiro makes sure that no matter what happens, he holds your hand and tells you to take it easy, but also encourages you whenever you need it

he’s so sweet, please keep him

4. ◪ crying + evening naps ◪ 5pm-7pm

crying

kirishima knows that crying is just something that’s natural, whether it’s that you’re frustrated or just feel so tired, he understands

and it’s not even like you’re having a full blown panic attack or anything. you just gotta have your daily cries, ya know?

please tell me i’m not the only one who has like scheduled daily cries-

“it’s okay, crying’s healthy for you, anyway! it’s definitely better than keeping it bottled inside you. c’mere.”

he kisses your scalp as he rocks you back and forth, occasionally wiping away a tear

kirishima reminds you that reacting some way to a bad situation is natural

“if someone was in your shoes, they’d most definitely feel that way, too! don’t feel like you’re the only one, baby, because you’re not. i’m here whenever you need me.”

after, he takes your hand and drags you to get a glass of water. “if you ever nee to cry again, you gotta stay hydrated,” he winks

he’s also so caring and soft when he sees you upset, he gives you the best cuddles as he plays with your hair. kirishima occasionally, when you’re crying, whispers in a compliment.

“your eyes are so magical.”

“you have such a beautiful smile.”

“you’re so… beautiful.”

naps

for naps, kirishima omg please jUST BE REAL FOR ONE SECOND

PLEASE HOW DID MY LIFE COME TO BEING IN LOVE WITH A COLLECTION OF PIXELS-

that beautiful, loving, emotional support shark is who i’m in love with and it’s insane

you rest your head on his chest, breathing in his scent as he places his hands around your stomach

(also kirishima would most definitely adore plus-sized people and stretch marks/acne. he loves every insecurity that people growing up may have, and that just gives me SO MUCH HOPE-)

everything is just so insanely peaceful as he has soft music playing in the background, kissing your nose and cuddling in closer with you

the blanket is directly over you, and after a long day at work, you two decide to take a break together

kirishima also most definitely makes sure to wake up earlier for the nap than you so that he could get you a cup of water

he plays with your hair and gently shakes you when you need to get back to work 🥺🥺

5. ☾ going to bed + cuddling headcanons ☽ 10pm-12am

OKAY SO I KNOW I ALREADY DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS HERE

but i literally canNOT STRESS HOW MUCH LOVE I HAVE FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL

he usually doesn’t mind if you stay up late, but as long as you take care of yourself while you’re at it, that’s completely okay!

kirishima usually likes to make sure that you have a consistent sleep schedule though, even if you look at him in the face and go,

“excuse me? sleep schedule? who’s that?”

eijiro just laughs in such a pure way before he helps you tie your hair or keep it up when you’re brushing/rinsing

while you brush your teeth though, he kinda just wraps his arms around your waist in such a gentle way 🥺🥺

he’s such a gentleman and just wants you to be happy

after, he gets you a cup of water and sits next to you on the mattress

he sometimes likes to play old rom-coms or films while cuddling next to you, or maybe some fancy lil’ disney movies

sometimes he’ll pick horror movies and say “i’m manly enough, i can take it!” and then you’re completely unfazed while kirishima SCREAMS

“b-being vulnerable is manly!”

“oh golly i love you so much.”

something i absolutely adore about kirishima is that he has so much respect for women, enby’s, whatever it is, he just wants them to feel safe and comfortable

he makes sure that it’s okay for him to wrap his arms around you, and makes sure to respect your boundaries

there’s no better place to be than in his arms when he’s wearing a hoodie and your face is rested in the crook of his neck

his chest rises and falls as he turns off the lights, and he might play some light music in the background

kirishima likes to play with your hair and makes raspberry blows into your neck aND I PERSONALLY THINK THAT’S HILARIOUSLY ADORABLE

he’ll make sure that no matter what, you feel safe and comfortable around him

you two sometimes end up having really deep conversations at like 2 am with him

for no apparent reason, you two just start talking away like it’s nothing

he holds your hand and runs his hands through your hair, before whispering comfort into your ear

“you’re so, so beautiful,”

“you have the most beautiful smile,”

“has anyone told you how nice your eyes were?”

“i love you.”

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godkilller · 4 years ago

Text

@izzabizz139

I wanna hear you rant about the Gin vs Hitsugaya anime fight bc I love seeing your pov and you clearly write better than whoever extended that scene :) pretty please

out of character. DON’T ENABLE ME SO MUCH !! No but I cackled when I first saw this ask because oh my god, clearly you saw a taste of my annoyance about the anime adaptation -- no, adaptation implies it was accurate, I’ll say the anime’s take was “inspired by” the manga’s quick run-in. I’ll start by saying this moment is supposed to be a bit important considering, via the audience’s point of view, THIS IS THE FIRST WE SEE OF TWO CAPTAIN-RANKED SHINIGAMI CLASHING. The only other captain-involved fight we’ve seen thus far in the manga is Kenpachi ( who is an outlier and should not be counted... no, I joke... but, still, Ichigo was not an equal to him, his sword was sliced through like butter. ) The whole reason I enjoyed this encounter between Toshiro and Gin was simply this; it wasn’t some fancy multi-chaptered fight. IN THE MANGA, THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLOWS MADE. One, by Toshiro, to begin the fight. The second, to end it, is Gin’s strike.

I want you to know that I’ve rewatched this specifically to answer this ask, and only due to this, as I wouldn’t have ever sought it out otherwise. HONOR MY SACRIFICE.

Read more for length. I’m merciful.

In the anime, they monologue at each other, and it’s mostly a combination of Toshiro making three separate death threats ( he starts this off by saying “I’ll kill you before Hinamori arrives” and then goes on rewording it each time, and then also repeats the death-threat he gave Gin prior to this conflict about “I’ll kill you if Hinamori bleeds” ) and then also Gin and Izuru talking about how truly powerful and amazing Toshiro is -- no, this isn’t me being bitter or petty, I literally shit you not, Gin has a line that is legit “AS EXPECTED FROM HITSUGAYA TOSHIRO, CAPTAIN OF THE TENTH DIVISION, A CHILD PRODIGY OF TH' SORT THAT ONLY COMES ALONG ONLY ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. HOW VEEEERY DANGEROUS. YOU’RE SERIOUS, AIN’T YA?” like don’t get me wrong, love a good sarcastic little shit comment like that, but the amount of times the anime pumps Toshiro up like he’s their shinest new cash cow ( and he is, at this point, it is not even 50 episodes into the series and they’ve realized everyone likes him and he’s jumped to high ranks in popularity polls... earning him filler spotlights, and eventually his very own non-canon movie ) so everything coming out of Gin’s mouth feels like more bullshit than necessary. Izuru’s already literally monologued, internally, how powerful and amazing Toshiro is anyways. Why this ?

Not to mention that, prior to saying that long-winded shit, Gin’s haori changed length three times ( and once it was longer than his entire body by several feet, and no not in a ‘to show motion’ way ) and most importantly Shinso was drawn, consistently, at katana-length for the duration of their little spat where the following, too, happened: Gin frog-leaps after doing a backflip, Toshiro gives Gin two (2) haircuts, Gin ruins some floorboards and gives Toshiro at least one splinter in his arm, Toshiro whilst wearing socks lands on Shinso’s blunt edge and pushes the sword down with his footsie because that’s how that works, there’s another backflip somewhere in there that Gin doesn’t need to be doing, twirl, twirl, and ballet, Gin’s face elongates until his chin is bigger than his face, Gin spends ten+ seconds purely dodging very close strikes to his face as Toshiro is the only one making breathy growly and ‘tsuuaaah’ sounds, there is a brief moment of no gravity as Toshiro keeps hacking at Gin midair and Gin blocks it over and over again but they still stay in the air but they’re not standing or jumping or using reiatsu they’re just like, momentum-locked I don’t fucking know, Gin frowny faces as he blocks because like somehow this kid who doesn’t even have more reiatsu than him, whose arm strength should not be an issue, is like. making him nervous?? as sword sparks fly. if you know me at all you know I hate when they fuckin’ firework sparkler-ify swords clashing.

Anyways, all of this happens whilst Shinso is the wrong length and Gin’s hair is getting purpler by the second and this entire thing is somehow a big jack-off to Toshiro’s immense strength even though he’s screaming and wailing at Gin like a child and Gin’s just a vessel at this point to Enhance Toshiro, which, fine, okay, but at least be more accurate with it god damn. ANYWAYS,

THEY JOUST. They literally run at each other, swords centered, and run past / to the side of one another. Jousting. “Cause that’s how that works. No slashes, no cutting motion. Just swords centered, because the animators were like “no worries guys I know swordfighting basics that’s a legit pose” yeah it is WHEN STATIONARY. Not rUNNING IT DOWN.

And then Gin’s sleeve is cut, somehow, from the Jousting, because wow Toshiro wow wow wowowowow, and then Toshiro comes back and starts wailing at Gin again and Gin blocks it, again, and it’s all very annoyingly repetitive, and Gin’s frowning and sparks are flying and Gin’s using Shinso, the katana-length wakizashi I guess, with two hands because like I said, the animators knew basics and basics are “katana are used two-handed” like. Okay, you’re not wrong, but I cannot stress this enough: SHINSO IS NOT A KATANA. It’s shorter and meant to be used single-handed!!!! sTop!!! So then Gin rips off the tattered part of his sleeve and throws it at Toshiro, who swipes it away from his face using his Zanpakuto because that’s intelligent and a piece of cloth was definitely threatening enough to use your sword to bat it away ( btw, Hitsugaya wasn’t holding his sword with two hands at this precise moment, so he could have just... used his other hand ) and then Gin goes in for the classic “stabby stabby rapidly at you while the animation gets a little breather because we repeat this cycle a few times with flashy bgs and phew money made” ... WE ARE FOUR MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS INTO THIS FIGHT BY THE WAY. Gin does this for seventeen (17) agonizing seconds straight. Yes, I counted. That was sixteen and a half too many seconds for me, personally.

Toshiro somehow lassos Shinso whilst Gin is stabby stabby-ing with Hyourinmaru’s chain component. I say component like it’s somehow some type of beauty guru’s lipstick holder, but really am I that wrong ? When else has he ever used this feature ? Anyways, he lassos Shinso because yeehaw I guess, god I’m falling apart at this point can y’all tell????? I need a drink.

and so, because now Toshiro has Gin’s sword somehow trapped with chain even though it’s just looped around it, he backflips over Gin for a cool trickshot, no blow issued, just vibes, and Gin uses a big brain moment to tug Shinso and the chains slide off. okay now what. We’re past five minutes into this fight, nonstop.

SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR GIN TO PAUSE AND APPRECIATE TOSHIRO AGAIN! “I see, I shouldn’t have underestimated you, HItsugaya Toshiro” I’m starting to have a feeling Gin’s VA was told to just wing these lines because the amount of times he fills silences / Gin’s mouth movements with Toshiro’s long-ass name is astounding, he’s definitely drawing blanks here but he sure as hell knows one thing: that damn ice-boy’s name. He continues by saying “I suppose I’ll end up regretting it afterwards.”

Toshiro says that’s not enough, and it’s really dramatic and cool. His eyes even glow all icy and blue and pretty, like his flowy reiatsu. Aesthetic points were gifted entirely to Toshiro’s animations in this scene. Gin was finished in MS Paint and each new scene they had to draw Shinso from memory and try to remember what hue of purple his hair was at gunpoint. Toshiro lets off a big wave of reiatsu and then it vanishes, and he jumps up reaaaally high. like this guy’s flying. his eyes arent glowing anymore that’s sad. Bring Back Glowing Eyes For Strong Shinigami 2k21.

Toshiro releases his Shikai, and it’s badass, the sky darkens, Izuru looks distinctly more worried than usual, and Gin’s frowning with his teeth out like Bugs Bunny’s having a bad day, all is right in the world. Toshiro and his released Shikai have a nice moment for the Pics, and a big epic freeze frame blur moment happens with it all coiled and swirling around him. Wrow! ( click the ‘wrow’ it’s a link to my exact reaction ) Izuru narrates for the third time about how powerful Toshiro is, his reiatsu, his Zanpakuto being a deity who is only unlocked every few centuries. The strongest ice-type sword. Pardon the pun, but that’s... you could say, so cool.

It can even control the weather. So hey, next time it’s rainy, cold, icy, or snowing and you’re unhappy, it’s time to direct a big fuck you at Toshiro.

Gin dodges the first dragon, and blocks the second with Shinso because blocking water and ice with a sword makes sense right? This actually takes a solid amount of seconds as Gin cuts through the entire length of this ice dragon noodle. Things dissipate, and pause, too, to really drag this out. Surprisingly, this reveals that Gin’s made a boo-boo, his left arm’s frozen, which doesn’t even mean anything because Gin is right-handed, and Toshiro teleports himself behind Gin in true fighty fashion.

We have arrived at seven minutes and just under twenty seconds of this fight, and Gin turns, DOES THE UNTHINKABLE, gasp! He opens his eyes. His red, dull, evil, gray-eyebrowed with purple hair eyes, and shoots Shinso through its hideout spot behind his haori. This nearly takes off Toshiro’s eye and upwards of his head, but the little guy dives down fast. The rest happens in slow motion, supposedly, because it takes an eternity and people talk entire full sentences in its span of time.

Gin asks Toshiro if he’s sure he’d like to dodge that ( it’s a little late for that ) and says that Momo’ll die if he does. SHINSO SCRAPING ALONG AGAINST HYOURINMARU STRANGELY MAKES NOT A SINGLE SOUND. Mute. Even though before they had no problem animating and adding sounds to them smacking blades earlier. There are soundless sparks though, so there’s that. Yay. Can you tell how exhausted this’s made me? I need a nap.

Shinso is already more than halfway towards Momo, still unconscious, she most definitely has a serious concussion via Toshiro backhanding her midair consider she’s been unconscious for longer than ten minutes. Toshiro has time to get up off the floor where he dropped to dodge, realize with a shocked gasp, turn, shout her name, and watch as Rangiku arrives in a random glow of gold which never happens ever again and blocks the attack with Haineko. Haineko almost cracks on the impact, and continues growing in damage as Rangiku holds Shinso there, implying that she’s stopped it from reaching one-hundred sword’s lengths to pierce Momo. Yes I’m including that implication / note in here because we love to see Rangiku succeeding in life and being Not-Helpless, all while potentially damaging Haineko severely if it wasn’t able to hold him off. Yikes, Gin!

Rangiku threatens to join the fight if he doesn’t withdraw his sword. Gin smiles, withdraws it, and then Shunpos away.

Whatta mess. Oh, and the anime fight was pretty fucked up, too.

This is a long post, but here’s the manga version:

Toshiro leaps into the air,

This is where the fight actually starts between them:

And end.

Five pages. Two blows. Does not equate to ten minutes of non-stop fighting and monologues. Sometimes, and I mean this in the most unbiased way possible, less is more.

#[ out of character ] masquerade; hide your face #me: i wanna reply to things!!#also me with eyes glowing red: no.#long post #LOOOONG POSTTTTT...#4 pages.#of text.#im so sorry.

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justahopelessssromantic · 5 years ago

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Sorry for all the request but I just came up with another one for angel. Where y’all are doing a gender reveal party with his family and urs and also the M.C also but your toddler will help u Pop the balloon??

*Never apologize for requesting Daddy Angel 😂. Anyways here it is and I hope you like it! I had a little fun with this one if you can’t tell haha. Like always I hope you enjoy and let me know what y’all think ☺️*

*gif not mine*

Warnings: Fluff and a little steamy

You laughed along with your sister and mother as you watched your son running around your backyard engaging in a squirt gun fight with his father and a few of his many tios.

Angel had a devilish look in his eye as he made his way towards you, squirt gun locked and loaded. You gave him a look as in ‘don’t you dare’ but he had no intentions of abandoning his mission.

Your son looked between his father and you. Sensing what was about to happen he quickly ran in front of you holding his arms out as wide as he could in hopes of shielding you.

You smiled down at the boy and rubbed his hair as Angel smiled too, proud of his little guy for defending his mama.

He taught him well.

Still his gun was ready to shoot and someone had to take it. He aimed at the tiny chest of your boy drenching the middle of his shirt with water.

Your son squealed at the burst of cold water but still stood firm. He gave his father a glare with which Angel responded by putting his hands up in surrender and setting the gun on the ground, laughing.

“Don’t worry Mama I’ll always protect you,” he said, triumphantly as he turned to face you.

“My very own little hero,” you cooed, heart melting from the sweet little being you and Angel had created together. You rubbed your swollen bump, happy to be expanding your family by one more.

You bent over and scooped your little man into your arms and onto your hip. Resting his head on your shoulder he rubbed your belly with a huge grin on his face.

“Daddy told me we always protect our queen and mi hermano pequeño” he said proudly having fulfilled his duty, still rubbing over your bump with his tiny hand.

“Really now?”

“And that it’s my job as the big brother to help teach him all the things Daddy taught me.” His smile grew showing off the little dimples in his cheeks.

“Hey are you telling Mami all my secrets,” Angel teased as he came up behind you wrapping his arm around you and his children, one hand on your bump the other on the back of your toddler, chin resting on your shoulder.

“I told you to stop telling him it’s a boy, he’s gonna be so disappointed if when we pop the balloon the confetti comes out pink.” You chastised him softly as your little boy hummed to his little sibling in your belly.

“Well he’s not gonna be disappointed because it’s a boy,” he said confidently, “Trust me, mi dulce.” He kissed the side of your head, “But speaking of you ready to find out you're having a little brother?” Angel addressed your son, scooping him into his arms.

“Or sister,” you reminded, shooting Angel a glare as he rolled his eyes.

“Alright everybody shut up!” Angel called out to the crowd, consisting of both your families, “It’s time for the big reveal!”

Everyone gathered around as your sister brought the big black balloon with question marks all over it out and handed you the small pin.

“You said I get to do it right?” Your little boy exclaimed excitedly wiggling in his father’s arms.

The crowd laughed at the little one's excitement and you smiled over at your husband.

“Yes baby, but be careful and you let Papi help you.” You passed the pin to Angel who carefully helped your son with it.

You stepped up behind them so that everyone had a good view and said to the crowd and your son, “Okay on the count of three,” you covered his ears so the noise wouldn’t bother him too much as the crowd began the countdown.

“One. Two,”

POP!

Blue confetti came flying out everywhere and landing on the grass all around you. Your son squealed in excitement and wrapped his arms tightly around Angel, as Angel looked at you with the biggest smile on his face. He pulled you close and kissed you before setting his son down and kissing the top of your stomach.

However happy your little family was not everyone else seemed to share the the joy in the crowd. There was an audible groan of disappointment from the many patched members.

By the end of the party most everyone had gone home, some of the members of the club stayed back to help clean up after the joyous event.

You were lounging in a chair, hands resting protectively over your belly as you watched Angel and your father having a hushed discussion, your father patting him on the shoulder before heading home as well with your mother.

Then you watched as EZ came up to Angel and begrudgingly handed over a large stack of cash, before making his way over to you.

“What’s that all about?” You asked your brother in law, eyebrow raised.

“We had a bet going within the club, about the gender.” He explained, “Angel won. Fuck he was right about your first one and then always going on and on about how this one was also a boy. I just really wanted him to be wrong.”

You laughed, you knew exactly what he was talking about. Almost since the moment you two found out you were expecting again he was constantly going on about how he was sure it was another boy.

That night you tucked your son into bed kissing him on the forehead. Shutting the door all but a crack you walked out into your kitchen pressing your hands into your lower back to relieve some of the pain from being on your feet most of the day.

“Come sit,” Angel said, patting his lap as he sat at the table, two piles of money stacked neatly in front of him.

You strolled over to him and settled down into his open arms across his lap sideways. His hands instinctively found their way to your ever growing bump as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your comforting scent.

“So EZ told me you had a bet going about the gender of our child,” you smiled as he hummed into your neck as his response.

You glanced over to the two piles set out before you and pointed to the much smaller pile, “So I’m guessing this one’s your cut, and that one's mine?” You finished by pointing to the larger pile.

“Actually that one's your Dad’s,” he said tapping the smaller pile with his index finger.

“But he couldn’t be a part of the bet, he’s the one who-”

He smiled as he watched your face, seeing the exact moment when everything fell into place in your mind.

“No! Angel Ignacio Reyes, you didn’t!?” You scolded looking him in the eyes to see if he was for real, “I just know it’s a boy, it’s just a feeling, mi dulce. Father’s intuition,” you mocked him.

“I really did think he was a boy, I just needed the proof for my plan to be solid.”

You gave him ‘that’ look and he went on to explain further.

“It took a bit of convincing, your Dad’s a tough negotiator,” he added, “But even without his cut there’s still enough for that new tv I was talking to you about. And of course that was another stipulation, that he can come over and watch all the games here.”

You were going to have to have a little talk with your father the next time you saw him.

“The plan was foolproof baby,” he continued relaying the details of his great scheme, “All I needed to do was annoy EZ enough for him to come up with the idea of the bet all on his own and then with enough of my gushing about how right I am and annoying all the other guys it wasn't long before they were all betting against me. It was like taking candy from a baby.” He grinned at you.

“They underestimated me. I’m more than just a pretty face, mi amor.”

“That you are.” You stood from his lap opening the cupboard and pouring yourself a glass of water from the sink.

“Just think of it (Y/N). The flatscreen will look so great on the wall,” he turned in his chair sideways so he was looking at you again, “And you are gonna be able to see every detail. The games are gonna look fucking amazing, and (Y/S/N)’s movies are gonna be so bright and colorful he’s gonna love it! And it’s a spectacular model for gaming.”

You stared him down drinking your water as he gave you his sales pitch, which had so far been rather unconvincing.

He smirked at you as he licked his lips, “And maybe we can even make a few movies of our own, have a private viewing.”

You almost choked on your water, almost, but kept your cool exterior.

Setting your glass down you swayed over to him. He ran his hands over your bump and then behind you to rest on the small of your back as he brought you down straddling him.

Running your hands up and down his chest you whispered, “How about we make one now?” You teased, biting your lip.

He groaned already growing hard beneath you. Smirking you leaned in kissing him feverishly as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth while you started grinding your hips against his.

Fuck you knew exactly how to mess with him.

You broke your kiss smiling sweetly. His eyes had darkened and he was ready to pick you up and carry you straight to the bedroom.

“Not so fast, baby.” You removed yourself from his lap and for a second he thought he was gonna get to take you right here and now.

Until you reached over onto the table taking the two piles of money he had counted and stacked so neatly into your hands.

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Oh just consider this my inconvenience fee.” You gave him another sweet smile.

“Come on querida. Of course I was gonna share, we could get that new mixer you’ve been wanting too.”

“Oh I will be getting that new mixer,” leaning in you kissed his forehead, “Goodnight Angel.” With that you left him and made your way down the hallway counting your money.

“Can we at least talk about getting the tv?” He called out.

“Goodnight Angel,” you sang again as you turned around blowing him one last kiss before disappearing into the bedroom.

He shook his head and chuckled to himself, you would be getting your mixer and much to his and your father’s dismay you would not be getting that new flat screen tv.

Tagging: @cind-in-real-life

Everything Taglist: @jad3djay @fairygardenss

#angel reyes #angel reyes imagine #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #requests

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wherearemyglassesbro · 4 years ago

Note

ooh ooh!! can you do more characters in your genshin au?

Yeah!! ;-; I’m surprised y’all like it alsjalsksk thank you for humoring me :)

Sadik: Pyro, polearm, *

Yells a lot in his voice lines and despite having a whole polearm, he still uses his hands in combat as well. He switches attacks from a good ol polearm whack to a full on sucker punch. Such a variety

Sadik is the best chef at the finest restaurant in the Pyro region of Natlan

He runs the kitchen with an iron fist, nearly making his chefs cry cause he’s like...A muscular Gordon Ramsay. But he will soften up if he actually sees tears

Because of this discipline, his restraunt has 7 stars...When 5 is usually the best of the best. The food there is above and beyond! And only the richest can really go because it’s $5,000 for one serving of spiced chili slime secretions...it tastes better than it sounds

He has full sleeves of tattoos on both arms which show ingredients, dishes and scenery from all of the regions he studied in. His ink pretty much tells his life story so far. Once he runs out of room on his arms he’ll move on to his back

He does interviews for the newspaper and the reporters are like ‘how do you cook so well?’ And he looks at them and goes ‘I don’t burn it’ wow fantastic insight

He isn’t really into combat but he’s a playable character anyway! We have a (soon to be) playable nun so anything is possible

Abel: Pyro, claymore, *

Another hard hitting character who tends to be on the slow side cause of his weapon but his power move would inflict a lot of damage

Abel is a pro bounty hunter, hired by all kinds of people from the varying regions of Teyvat. He gets paid a lot but his line of work is scaryyyy he takes on like 3 ruin guards at once sometimes. His skin is littered with scars from hilichurl claws, burns and stab wounds. He doesn’t care. He looks super cool

His cabin is tucked away and it’s location is unknown to the general public. Only his brother and sister know but they aren’t allowed to go unless it’s an emergency. Whenever he meets them it has to happen at night within the walls of a city. He doesn’t want criminals or monsters finding out he has siblings

He has a map of each region tattooed somewhere on his hand or arm instead of using a paper map. Fire powers and paper dont go well together

Lilli: Geo, catalyst, Springvale Mondstat

She’s a healer and her attacks consist of meteors flying out of the sky and hitting enemies! Best used when enemies are not right up in her face cause she literally can’t do hand to hand combat at all so that’s her only drawback

She’s still a kid but her brother trains her to be the best she can be! Vash is visionless but he expected to get a Geo vision. He didn’t, his sister did. So he’s helping her get stronger and learn about her power. She is so grateful for him :’)

She goes to school as she should and does all of her work and on her days off, she practices out in the fields with her brother. Vash throws rocks at her and she uses her powers to stop them in midair and hurl them back in his direction. She’d never ever hurt him and if she did she’d literally stop using her vison forever

Her idle voice lines are mostly about her brother or getting home before sundown “Hm...I wonder what my brother is doing right now” “The sun is setting! We better get moving” “Ah...The breeze feels nice tonight...” “Let’s get moving! There’s so much to see out here!”

If she dies from fall damage or something her ‘death’ voice line is “Big brother...Please...Dont forget me...” OUCH

Raj: Geo, longsword, his ship

Super fast and attacks jump from one enemy to the other super quick!! Downside is that it’s hard to focus on one enemy if there’s multiple around you cause his attacks go from enemy to enemy

Raj is the captain and owner of a huge cargo ship. He has a crew of 40 strong fighters, all with visions. He carries cargo back and forth from Liyue to Snezhnaya and Inazuma. He carries minerals, food supplies, textiles, anything that pays well!

His sword looks super old and that’s cause it is! It belonged to his great grandfather and has been passed down allllll the way to him! He wields it proudly even though it needs a bit of fixing up here and there every other month

To pass the time while traveling by sea, he plays his flute and his crew sings songs! It warms his heart to see everyone get along

You could hold up any rock and he’d tell you what it is. He has studied up on everything he sells and I mean...He is a Geo vision holder so he takes rock knowledge seriously

Xiao-Mei: Dendro, archer, Liyue

Fast attacks that will knock enemies over for a few seconds, giving you time to run up to them and land a blow while they’re down

Xiao-Mei is a jewelry maker! She and her mother run a small shop under the docks of Liyue harbor. The placement of the shop is actually beneficial cause as ships dock, the crew will hurry in to buy something for their lovers before seeing them on the streets above! Very slick :)

Xiao-Mei works did metal and makes her own beads for her pieces. She incorporates a lot of shapes or colors from natire, often inspired by flowers like glaze lillies :)

She wears tons of necklaces, rings and bracelets at all times!! If someone likes something she’s wearing, she’ll sell it to them!

Antonio: Hydro, longsword, *

Attacks tend to focus on one enemy at a time and isn’t good for multitasking... Groups of hilichurls are his weakness but he’ll excel during big boss fights since it’s just one to focus attacks on!!

He has really flirty voice lines though jeez sir calm down...

Toni is an entertainer!! A sword fighting entertainer! People place bets on him and his opponent and it’s exhilarating work! Is it legal? Maybe! Maybe not! Everything is technically legal in the woods right?

He flirts with the ladies in the crowd and thinks he’s so slick but his pick up lines are just the worst “I’ve got a hydro vison :) I can make you...hehe...wet” STOP-

He tends to stay within the borders of the hydro region(Fontaine(?)) but will venture to other regions if his ‘career’ requires it!

He isn’t the smartest so he has a lot of moments where you’re like ‘wow...theres not a thought behind those pretty green eyes’ so...I mean he’s kinda a comic relief :)

Michelle: Hydro, catalyst, Raj’s ship

One of her power move things is a water shield!! She can shoot through it but things can’t hit her for like 30 seconds! Then the shield can be deployed again and can be used on other characters on your team

Michelle fishes and cooks for Raj and his crew! She was picked up off a beach, lost and disoriented. She’s made a family out of the ship crew and thinks of Raj as an older brother :)

She is a very talented chef but always makes more than needed so they have a lot of leftovers :0

She buys something from Xiao-Mei’s every time they dock in Liyue :)

#genshintalia au #in order:......#aph turkey #aph Netherlands #aph liechtenstein #aph india #aph taiwan #aph spain #aph seychelles #aph #hetalia #ask away!#headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #always up for hc requests

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makeste · 5 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 247: Todoroki Angst

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko started some kind of procedure on Tomura to make him even more powerful, because that’s what we were all asking for at the end of the last arc, isn’t it? “Horikoshi can you go ahead and make the homicidal nihilist even stronger please and thank you.” Well not to worry, because he’s got our backs! Meanwhile Hawks poked around the villain HQ trying to find out more details about That End Of The World Thing That’s Happening In 4 Months, and came up with squat. But he did successfully pass on his secret message to Endeavor about how “THE CHILDREN ARE OUR ONLY HOPE,” so Endeavor shrugged and was like “fine, HEY CHILDREN, LET’S GO FIGHT CRIME.” Anyways, so I was thinking, do you suppose they all just figured out they’re actually in a shounen manga? Because that would explain a lot.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor gathers the kids together and is all “so tell me about yourselves.” Deku is all “I have two quirks shut up it’s not weird” and says he wants to get better at harnessing his power so that he can use it without it being destructive. Kacchan is all “I’m already strong but I want to become better as a person” and I appreciate how the other characters are able to hold themselves back from exclaiming, “THIS KID’S REDEMPTION ARC... IT’S TOO POWERFUL...!” because I sure the fuck would have if I was there. And then Shouto is all “hey dad, friendly reminder that I’m here because I want to get stronger to reach my own goals, but you’re still a shitty dad and I hate your guts.” Endeavor, to his credit, reacts very appropriately to all three kids (including a resigned “got it” to Shouto, which was in fact the only appropriate response, so props to him for that), and dives right on in to mentoring the shit out of them. He then delivers a challenge -- defeat at least one villain without him beating them to the punch. So that should be fun, and I mean that with complete sincerity. Bring it!

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

oooooh shit we’re starting right on a continuation of the Fuyumi panel from last week. TODOROKI DRAMA ARC INCOMING. THIS IS IT BOYS. THE BIG ONE

omg omg omg

friendly reminder that chapter 242, in which this internship was first announced, came out on September 6. that is six whole weeks that we’ve been waiting for this internship to actually get started for real. I WAS PROMISED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND UNUSUAL INTERACTIONS AND UNLIKELY BONDS BEING FORMED. and I have been patient, because In Horikoshi We Trust, but is it finally that time now? I just need them to stop hinting at it and finally get to it before I lose my mind okay

so Endeavor is asking Baku and Deku for their character profiles

Deku: “I used to break bones on demand, now I shoot wind from my fists along with the occasional Venom Symbiote”

Bakugou: “I blow shit up and I also have your character development arc, but fast-tracked so that it kicked in before I could fully become a massive prick like you”

meanwhile Shouto just sits there pouting because as we know from the Babysitter’s Club arc (and also from the Sports Festival arc, during which he dragged Deku into a hallway and was all “time to tell you about my tragic past” completely unprompted), he actually has his own character profile on standby ready to go at a moment’s notice, but everyone just keeps it benched all the time. poor Shouto

(ETA: he will not be silenced!!)

so Endeavor is phrasing this in the weirdest way possible, asking them to state “their current ‘assignments’” lol what. at least the second part of this is clearer, with him asking what they want to gain from this internship

okay so Deku says he wants to control his power so that he can “move at max performance.” yes that’s a very good goal for you, World’s Last Hope

lmaoooo

“weren’t you the kid who broke every bone in his arms several times in succession while attempting to KO my youngest child.” way to make an impression Deku

so Deku patiently explains that, yes, but we’re WELL BEYOND the whole bone-breaking stage now and currently at the “trying to master my new SECRET POWER which is still under wraps” stage. get with the times, Endeavor

hahaha here we go. this is so painfully awkward

“yeah so I kind of have a second quirk now. you know. as one does. please ignore how the only other known person to ever have multiple quirks just so happens to be the greatest villain of all time who is currently incarcerated in Tartarus following his last stand during which the number one hero lost all his power. that’s not relevant. anyways so yeah, two quirks, it’s totally normal and not a big deal at all”

what the actual fuck is he going to do once quirks # 3, 4, 5, etc. come along? this is such a disaster it’s not even funny. and by the way, this whole time I’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room that is Katsuki’s face while Deku nearly spills the beans about his so-called secret. but let’s all just acknowledge that it’s amazing and it belongs in a museum

thankfully Endeavor has had more than enough of exercising his brain today after all of that codebreaking, and isn’t even bothering to ask any questions. instead he’s just like, “show me.” probably the right call; easier to just see wth he’s going on about rather than keep listening to this strange and incredibly suspicious explanation

here we go guys time for some BLOOP

that’s because you’re still scared of it! boy if you’re not going to listen to Katsuki then I hope Endeavor can knock some sense into you at least!

you know, Endeav may be scowling so hard his face is gonna get stuck that way, but so far he’s not half bad at this mentoring/coaching thing

really appreciate how he jumps straight into asking pertinent questions about what Deku wants to do with this new quirk, rather than being all “how the fuck do you go from breaking all of your bones to THAT”

so now Deku’s explaining how it works and says he’s been applying the same principles that he uses with Air Force

LMAOOOOO

this right here is the most accurate introduction to Deku that Endeavor could ever have possibly received. THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE CHARACTER

and it also neatly sums up his whole problem with Blackwhip as well, which is just that he’s way overthinking it. no fucking wonder he can’t do anything with it yet! he’s trying to run NASA-level calculations in his head in real time while using it, like wtf. just let loose boi

also can we stop and appreciate how both Bakugou and Shouto are just fucking done. like, Bakugou is one thing, but just look at Todoroki fucking Shouto, Deku’s #1 fan and admirer, being all “wtf I hate Deku now”

LMAO AGAIN

Burnin’ is quickly rising through my favorite character ranks. meanwhile Shouto has gleaned, quite correctly, that those were in fact words coming from Deku’s mouth. what kind of words is a mystery, but at least it’s something

omfg Endeavor can speak Deku

(ETA: one of the things I’m noticing on a reread is how Endeavor is approximately twice the size of the kids. and it’s not like they’re small or anything. but they look like toddlers next to him. he’s only 6′4″ how is he towering over them to this degree.)

I feel like Endeavor’s intelligence levels fluctuate from week to week. or even from panel to panel. enigma

so blah blah blah he’s thinking to himself “his raw power rivals All Might’s” and then -- ! LOOK AT THIS SHIT

SOFT ENDEAVOR ADOPTING DEKU WTAF. holy shit. if anyone says they saw this coming, I’m calling you out as a fucking liar. BUT I’M HERE FOR IT OMG

AND NOW THIS ONE’S TURN!

(ETA: Kacchan is 5′7″. pretty sure Endeavor is actually 8 feet tall.)

lmao Deku’s face. trying to work out what this means and whether it’s good or bad

meanwhile, after the multiple pages of extensive rambling from Deku, Endeavor is about to get an introduction from Bakugou which will likely just consist of “I WANT TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE” with absolutely no introspection whatsoever. basically the polar opposite of Deku. gotta love it

HERE WE GO

ooh, unexpected! though still brusque. but to be fair, he’s gifted when it comes to saying a lot in few words

(ETA: out of the three, Kacchan definitely took up the least amount of time with his introspection. not bad for a kid who used to think the entire fucking world revolved around him. growth!)

now he’s bitching at Burnin’ for not having anything better to do than stand around heckling them lmao

SHE’S HERE TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY KATSUKI SHHH. in other news, today I learned that Burnin’ is actually me. huh

OH MY GOD KATSUKI IS METAING -- !! [ELBOWS MY WAY INTO THE FRONT ROW] EVERYONE FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!!

OH MY GOD

y’all Katsuki really just fessed up and admitted to needing to work on his growth as a person rather than his physical ability. along with a NEW ADORABLE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, EXCUSE ME WHILE I ORDER PRINTS OF THIS TO PUT IN MY WALLET

AND HERE WE GO NOW, THE WHOLE “I WANT TO SURPASS THE NUMBER ONE” PART. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN I EXPECTED, KATSUKI YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME PROUD! LOOK HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO BE A BETTER PERSON

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU’RE NOT ROOTING FOR BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS MANGA HONESTLY

OMG ENDEAVOR

“this kid...” REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE, DOESN’T HE! OH MY GOD I NEED TO SIT AND CALM DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER

anyway so do you love him. YOU BETTER SAY YES!!

LMAO SHOUTO COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER

LET’S HEAR IT THEN, FIVE PEEPEE MAN!!

Endeavor is whipping back around on him all “I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO MASTER YOUR NEW TECHNIQUE” with this look of borderline panic on his face that implies to me that it’s one thing to take on two new kids with no familiar baggage, and quite another to have to deal with his own son’s personal angst which is directly related to his own worst personal shortcomings and sins! but that’s just too bad, Endeavor! also, fuck you!

OH MY GOD TODOROKI SHOUTO HAS THE SOFTEST SADDEST EXPRESSION AND THIS SPEECH IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WHAT THE HELL

even Kacchan has gone soft. meanwhile, is somebody cutting onions in here or

(ETA: also, Kacchan really has been promoted to best friend status, hasn’t he? or co-best friend at least. Shouto really does value their time training together, huh. “spending time with these guys.” anyways so this officially is the TodoBakuDeku arc, sorry everyone I don’t make the rules.

also! I really love how Shouto’s character development has been all about him finally figuring out what it is that he wants. one way or the other, Endeavor has been the focus of his life since childhood. everything he did was centered around him, even when it was centered around defying him. it was still always him, and never Shouto. because he’d been raised as his father’s tool, he struggled with feeling like anything he achieved was just giving his father exactly what he wanted. so he never really had the freedom to strive toward his own goals until Deku finally broke him free of that mindset. it wasn’t until he was surrounded by others who shared the same dream he’d once had that he was able to move past the toxic part of that resentment. not to say that it wasn’t justified, because it was! and is, still. but all the same, it was hurting him at least as much as it ever hurt Endeavor, if not much more so.

so I really like the message his arc sends here, which is that forgiveness is not so much for the benefit of the one who hurt you as it is for yourself. and that’s obviously not the right word for it, by the way -- “forgiveness” -- but it’s just a placeholder for lack of a better one. because obviously as we can see, he hasn’t forgiven him, but what he has done is put that part of his past behind him. for his own sake, for his own peace, which he deserves. anyways guys Shouto is so fucking strong and I love him so damn much. shit.)

“y’all didn’t think I was gonna put the Terrible Trio together with Endeavor and not follow through on it with piles and piles of Todoroki angst,” Horikoshi says, casually filing his nails with one eyebrow raised. “c’mon”

here it comes y’all

ain’t no force on this earth more dramatic than a Todoroki. did he somehow get a wind blowing in from somewhere. aren’t they indoors

loool Endeavor getting DRAGGED LIKE AN UNTIED SHOELACE in front of these kids he just met two seconds ago, oof. “don’t forget dad, just because I’ve mellowed out a bit and accepted that I need to learn how to use my fire side doesn’t mean I don’t still hate your guts because BOY DO I.” oh damn

so your kid is justifiably pissed at you for your decade and a half of abuse, not to mention annoyed that you’re just putting it all behind you now and acting like it never happened. but it’s not like it’d make things any better if he just went back to acting like a jerk with these new kids! so here we all are, with no easy answers for this situation. what’s a 45-year-old man trying to make up for his past sins to do

(ETA: boy I just took a stroll around the ol’ fandom and a lot of people have really strong feelings about this huh. the most common sentiment seems to be “YAASSSS SHOUTO”, which I can 100% get behind. but it seems like a lot of people are also angry that Shouto is in this situation to begin with. specifically, we have the usual faction of people who are upset that Endeavor is getting any kind of redemption arc at all, and would prefer if he remained eminently hatable and shunned and detested for the rest of his days.

and look, I get it. humans are hardwired to want things to be fair. we want karma. kindness should beget kindness, and cruelty should net you the same treatment in return. reap what you sow. and while some crimes occasionally fall into a grey area, it hardly gets more black and white than Endeavor’s case. not only is there the child and spousal abuse, there’s also the incredibly dubious consent issues that arise in the case of an arranged marriage. like, there’s really no question that what he’s done is bad. so to see behavior like that “rewarded” by his becoming the number one hero, and to see people actually admiring him, and to watch him taking steps to turn his life around even as his wife and children struggle to gather the shattered pieces of their own lives -- yeah, that’s gonna trigger something in a lot of people. because it’s not fair. he hurt good people who didn’t deserve it, and all of this makes it seem like he’s getting away with it.

but here’s the thing -- there are different types of penance. there’s punishment, but there is also atonement. and Endeavor is getting his just desserts in some ways -- by being forever denied the chance to reach the goal that he worked his whole life toward, and by finally developing a conscience, the better to fully experience the remorse of knowing the pain he brought about to his family. but what’s arguably more important than that is that he also has the opportunity to try and atone for some of the terrible things he’s done, by doing good in the world now. he is a hero. his job is to help people. every day he is making the world a little better by doing that. and that, to me, is such a fascinating idea: a terrible person doing good things. and it’s something that feels almost counterintuitive, and that’s part of why a lot of people have so much trouble accepting it, I think. but it’s a fact of life, isn’t it? if good people can do bad things, then it stands to reason that the reverse is true as well.

and I’ll just come right out and say it -- for me, if it comes down to a choice of having someone be punished, or having them be forced to do good things to atone, I’m gonna go with the latter just about every time. because while it may not feel quite as viscerally satisfying, it’s the option that produces the greatest net benefit for the world. without Endeavor, the world would have one less person out there battling evil. and as I suspect we’re going to continue to see in this arc, there are other, subtler ways that he can still do good as well.

so yeah. it’s a tricky thing. but to be honest, the ability to explore this type of complexity is one of the things I respect the most about Horikoshi’s storytelling. he’s not taking the easy way out here. he’s not giving us easy answers one way or the other. no matter what kind of resolution we get to this character arc, it’s not going to be something that will satisfy everyone. but that’s just how it is. anyways, apologies for the rant.)

hmmm Endeavor

yeah you really read that one wrong. anyway I guess it’s your turn to make a speech now

...

classic Endeavor

(ETA: actually truth be told, that was quite eloquent, and pretty much the only thing he could have said in response to all that. it’s not like he can even begin to justify all of his actions, and pretty much anything else that came out of his mouth would have come off like an attempt to dismiss his son’s feelings, or him trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. there is pretty much nothing else he can say here except for “I understand. that’s valid, and I fucked up.” which this is pretty much acknowledging. anyways this whole chapter is basically the sequel/continuation to 192 and I’m loving it omg.)

so he says he’ll watch over the three of them as a hero, and lead them in hero stuff

oh, I wasn’t going to post this panel, but now Endeavor’s saying “those are the three fundamental skills sought after from a hero” so I guess I should, huh

ooh he says that generally heroes will choose to specialize in either rescue or battle, but his policy is to kick ass at all three. well that’s one similarity between him and All Might, at least. if you’re not here to both win and rescue then what are you even doing with your life am I right

damn there really is a reason why this guy is the number one huh

okay, like. not to knock like 99% of the other heroes out there, but is anyone else sitting there thinking “wow, finally someone competent” or is it just me. like, I really do get a sense of “he’s got it all under control” from him which is lacking with pretty much all of the other heroes. no wonder society is on the verge of being in shambles. what we really need is for all heroes to be this capable, and not just All Might or Endeavor or whoever happens to be the current number one

okay, Endeavor is really out here being a genuinely good mentor, I’m speechless

holy shit

-- WHAT, NO! ARE WE ALREADY DONE?? WHY

okay but I do love that, though. it’s a perfect goal for them. difficult, but not impossible at the rate they’re growing. and it also just so happens to be something that they need to be able to do if they really are going to be the shoulders that society is resting all of its hopes upon. and last but not least, it’s something that all three of them will be able to set their minds too gladly. kick this old man’s ass, kids

anyways. ladies and gentlepeople this chapter was only thirteen pages. shortest chapter we’ve had in a minute. but at least it was densely packed! even if Shouto took up like half of it with his Daddy Issues Speech. that’s okay Shouto we always welcome your daddy angst

all in all I am satisfied. character development, and finally a clear goal for the arc. though part of me would also love it if they manage to achieve this in like the very next chapter. you never know with these wunderkinds lol

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 247 #endeavor #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha meta #makeste reads bnha #well here I am back from six flags at 1:30 a.m. and ready to rant about bnha in the middle of the night #I guess technically speaking it's not *that* late #in tumblr time anyway #anyway my bad sorry guys!

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sailorsei · 6 years ago

Text

John Seed x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit! 18+ Only!

Word Count: 6.8K

Summary: After a month and a half of fighting her feelings, the junior rookie gives in.

Warnings: Smut, blow job, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, etc.

Author Note: Also this contains side Staci Pratt x Reader!

UPDATE: 3/30/20: I didn’t originally have this fic in it’s entirety posted cause I thought tumblr had a character limit and was getting rid of smut fics but I guess that isn’t the case lol full fic under the cut

~Prologue~

It wasn’t a secret that you and the Seed family had some tension between each other. It had been over a month and a half since you had tried (and failed) to arrest Joseph Seed. It felt like years since you had a taste of “normalcy”. Once you had grouped up with the resistance, you refused to leave Hope County until you were able to bring all of the Seed family to justice.

But. That was the thing. That was the weird, fucked up thing. You didn’t know if you wanted to do that anymore. Even though you had saw what they had done, as you fought them, escaped countless times from them, you started to just pity them. You just wanted them to be healed by what had brought them to this horrible cult.

This wasn’t something you could voice, however. Especially to your closer friends in the resistance. Your crew consisted of Hudson, Pratt, Sharky, and Hurk. Sharky and Hurk helped you spring both of your colleagues a few weeks in to this whole fucked up situation. It took a while for them to be “normal” again, if you could even call it that. Pratt still woke up in the night with night terrors, and Hudson was very against physical content now. It was tough for the both of them, but you were helping them through it.

~Now~

Riding on your four-wheeler, you sped down the road towards Fall’s End. You had some Intel about a potential Peggie attack to steal back Falls End that you needed to tell Pastor Jerome and Mary May. Hanging a left onto the main road to Fall’s End, your walkie crackled to life on your shoulder.

“My, my, deputy. Letting your hair down for once. And a dress! You’re beautiful.”

John Seeds voice softly came through the speaker. You hit the brakes and whipped out your pistol, looking for him.

“Where are you at, you fuckin’ well-dressed weasel?” You yelled. Obviously he could see you, since he was commenting on your appearance. You hoped he was far enough away that he couldn’t see how flustered that had made you.

John Seed, you found, was the most attractive of the brothers. His piercing blue eyes, accompanied by his darker hair, and his good taste in fashion. His words dripped like honey. Even when he had you captured, you would stop paying attention to what he was saying when he was monologing because you were too distracted by his movements.

Of course you tried to hide it the best that you could, but he had picked up on it. The last time that he had had you in his grip, he made sure his touches, and eyes, lingered a little bit too long, sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t let him get to you though. The last thing you needed was to tell your crew that you had slept with the enemy. But you knew it was just going to get harder and harder.

“You think I’m well dressed? Thank you. And don’t worry about where I am. I’m not here to stir the pot. Just here to observe. Until next time.” The walkie went radio silent. You scanned around you a few more moments before driving away, flipping off the trees behind you.

Walking into the bar, Mary May and the pastor were chatting away over some food.

“There’s my favorite Deputy.” Jerome leaned in for a hug and whispered, “Don’t tell Hudson that.” He chuckled. Mary May waves as she had her mouth full.

“Just wanted to stop in and let y’all know to be in the look out. Peggies might be rallying to take back Fall’s End. Don’t know how credible this is but, better safe than sorry.” You leaned against the bar as you spoke. Mary May rolled her eyes at the thought and kept eating. Jerome nodded in thought.

“Thank you. It’s good to be on our toes at all times. I’ll make sure we have some extra patrols around.” Jerome patted you on the shoulder and went back to his food.

You said your goodbyes and headed back to your four-wheeler and headed towards Dutchs Island. There was a reason you were “dolled up” today. You had been seeing Pratt for a week now, and you had a date today. Was it to fill the John sized hole in your heart, or did you genuinely like him? Who was to say? You both had agreed to keep it causal since you both could die at any time. No use getting attached.

There was a perfect beachy spot by where you had first destroyed a Bliss Shrine, and you two were to meet there and soak up some sun. It had been a while since you had had a day to yourself, and everyone practically forced you to take it. Hudson even playfully kicked you out of the bunker you two called home so that you could have a break.

You waded through the water and began walking up the dirt hill to see Pratt laying out a picnic blanket in the grass patch in the distance.

Your speaker crackled to life once more.

“Don’t have too much fun on your date. Not that you could, since it’s not with me.”

John Seed went as quickly as he came. Your radio was silent once more. You turned off your radio so he wouldn’t disturb you again. But now you knew he was watching you, from somewhere in the trees. Maybe from the bridge? You had no idea, and honestly? It excited you a little bit. You continued walking towards Pratt.

“Hey! You’re just in time. Was just about to bust open the picnic basket.” Pratt reached in and pulled out some sparkling water, which you loved, and handed it to you.

“Thank you, Staci. This is exactly what I needed right now.” You sat down next to him and opened the can, chugging it. Water dripped down your chin to your neck. You could feel Stacis eyes on you, hungrily watching you.

You knew you were being selfish and unfair. But right now, you didn’t care. You needed some sort of release and the idea of John watching you get off drove you wild.

You set the can down and stood up. Staci went to ask you what you were doing when you lifted your dress up and over your head, throwing it to the side. Staci just stared at your body, mouth agape. You hadn’t been wearing a bra, and were wearing sheer, lace panties. You straddled Staci and began to kiss him. He quickly came back to earth from whatever was going on in his head and kissed back, hands latching onto your hips.

You ground against his hips, erupting a growl from Staci. He squeezed your ass with one hand and massaged your chest with the other, eliciting a groan from you. You broke the kiss and latched onto his neck, grazing your teeth against a sensitive spot.

“Oh dear god...” Staci whimpered.

You left a sizable hickey and pulled back, while pushing him down to lie on his back. You slid off of his lap and grabbed onto his belt. You looked up at him with your big doe eyes for the go ahead. You had never seen someone shake their head so fast in their life.

You unbuckled his pants and pulled them down, along with his boxer briefs. His cock sprang up from its confine. He was average size and girth. Just what you expected from a guy of his stature. He had a few beads of pre cum leaking from the tip. You eyed it hungrily. You leaned it and gave it a light lick, eliciting the sluttiest moan from Staci. Must have been a while, you thought.

You jumped right in and took his whole length in your mouth, causing him to buck his hips. You bobbed up and down a few times before he had to stop you.

“Let me at least get you off before I embarrass myself and come within 2 seconds...” He sat up and it was your turn to be pushed down. He hooked his fingers around the sides of your panties and pulled them down, tossing them with your dress. Your confident streak must have been all used up on going down on Staci as when he turned back to you, you instinctually covered your face.

“Don’t worry, I got you. Let me see you.” You uncovered your beet red face to see Staci in between your legs. He maintained eye contact as he licked a long stripe along your folds, causing you to groan. You got yourself off regularly, but to have someone else doing it for you was godly.

He gave your folds a few more licks before diving in and suckling onto your clit. He inserted one finger, then two into you and began pumping. You grabbed onto the picnic blanket for dear life and didn’t bother to try to quiet yourself.

You felt your orgasm building and you began to roll your hips in tandem with his finger pumps. You moaned out Stacis name as you came on his tongue. He moaned into you as you did so. You’re surprised he didn’t come on the spot from you doing that. It wasn’t that Staci was a virgin, but he seemed the type to come fast, and unexpectedly.

“Oh my god, you’re so gorgeous.” He wiped his mouth off on his sleeve and came up to kiss you. You kissed him back and lifted your hips to his, hoping he would get the message.

“Oh, I, uh, didn’t bring a condom or anything...” He said, a little defeated.

“I don’t care, just please, I need you.” You groaned into his ear. He whispered “oh god...” under his breath and positioned himself with your entrance.

As he pushed in, you both moaned in unison. You needed this so badly. You hugged his cock so well. You knew it wouldn’t last for long, so you asked him to flip you over so that he could do you from behind. It was your favorite position and it was a guaranteed orgasm for you.

He grabbed hold of your hips and began snapping his hips against you. You moaned into the blanket and reached your hand in between your legs to massage your clit.

The sounds that you two were making were absolutely sinful. If a Peggie saw you two, they would probably faint.

He continued to thrust into you. He must have found the confidence you lost as he pounded into you, and started some dirty talk.

“You like that? You take me so well.”

You let out a faint mumble in response.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you. I need to know how good I’m doing.” His hand came down onto your ass, making you yell out in both pain and pleasure.

“Oh god, yes, Staci. I’m almost there.”

You could tell he was close too, his thrusts were starting to become erratic.

“Staci, please, fill me up.” You groaned. It was something you liked to save for the end. You didn’t like to tell your lovers about your cum kink, as most people just assumed you were trying to land a baby, which you were not.

Staci came inside you, coating your walls. This was enough to send you over the edge, you yelled into the blanket. He continued fuck you through your orgasm, cum dripping down your thighs as he did. Once you had stilled, he slowly pulled out, causing you both to whimper. You rolled onto your back, Staci lying beside you. You both said nothing as you watched the clouds go by. It was so peaceful that you both had fallen asleep.

After you and Staci had woken up from your little cat nap, you had lunch and said your goodbyes.

You hopped onto your four-wheeler and turned your radio back on. The radio crackled as you did. You hoped it was John, but it wasn’t.

“Hey, you on your way home yet, Rookie?” Hudson asked.

“Yeah, just got back to my ride. Shouldn’t be too long.” You replied.

“Just got back, huh?” She purred over the walkie. “Did you guys have some fun?” She teased.

“You know what? I’ll indulge you. He blew my back out. Pratt may look innocent but he knows his way around a person’s body.” You smugly said. That ought to shut her up. Hudson gasped on her end. “Oh my god! I was kidding! But you slept with him! Oh my god! Just wait until I tell—“

“Don’t tell anyone! We’re trying to keep this casual. Don’t need all of Hope County to know about my dick appointment. Anyways, I’ll tell you more when I get home. See ya.” You revved up your four-wheeler and took off towards the bunker.

Your hair bellowed through the wind, erasing any signs of sex. Even though it was almost 5 o’ clock, the air was still warm. Looking at the river next to you, you could almost imagine what it was like to live here before it all went to shit.

You pulled over to the shoulder and got off your four-wheeler and walked over to the river to get a better look at some deer that were drinking. You got out your phone to take pictures when the radio crackle scared them away, causing you to cuss, loudly.

“Now, Now. A Lady shouldn’t cuss.” John Seed’s voice came out of the speaker. Groaning, you took the radio from your shoulder and help it up to your mouth.

“I’ll cuss whenever I damn well fuckin’ please, thanks. Also, fuck you for scaring away the deer I was looking at.” You put your free hand on your hip as you paced. Why did he feel the need to just call you up whenever he pleased?

“Such a foul mouth. First cussing, and then sucking your friends cock in the open. I think you need to learn some manners.” You froze. So he was watching. Your cheeks flared up. You were at a loss of words.

“What, no witty remark? Interesting.” He chuckled.

“I’m an adult. I can do what I want. And if that means cussing, and sucking dick in the wilderness, then that’s what I’m gonna do. You’re not my dad.” You replied, stomping as you paced. Who did this prick think he was?

“You know what, Seed? Where are you at? I’m getting sick of this cat and mouse game. I can show you what this mouth can do and say—wait, that’s not what I meant, fuck.” You instantly regretted it after it came out of your mouth. Of course you meant you wanted to cuss him out, and maybe kick his ass, but of course, that wasn’t how it was interpreted.

“Oh, I would love to see what your mouth can do. I’m sure I could put it to good use. My men could be there for you in minutes.” He purred. Your cheeks, as well as your pussy, started to heat up. This was your chance. You could say you went to beat him up, that’s why you were going to let yourself get captured. The perfect cover story. You bit your lip and looked around. You made up your mind.

“Fine. I would love to settle this. I’m sure you know where I am already. I’ll wait by my four-wheeler. Anyone gives me shit, I’m whooping some ass, just letting you know.” You started marching towards your ride.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon, Little Lamb.” You shivered at the pet name. The Seed boys all called you by it, but the way John said it had a different effect on you.

You rested your hands on your ride to catch your breath. Were you really doing this? You needed to let Hudson know you were going to be gone for the rest of the night. Didn’t need her poking around more than she already did.

“Hey, uh, Hud. I’ll be actually home a little later. Something came up. Don’t wait up.” You said and turned off your radio. You hoped that she would assume that maybe you met back up with Staci.

You leaned against your ride when you saw a black SUV coming towards you. You instinctually rested your hand on your gun. The SUV pulled up slowly and came to a stop in front of you. A well-groomed Peggie got out of the passenger door and opened the rear passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. You hid your four-wheeler behind some bushes and tucked the key into your bag, as you headed for the SUV.

“Any funny business and I’ll pop y’all.” You said as you got in. The SUV smelled like it was brand new. You crossed your arms and looked out the window and they pulled off back onto the road. The ride was quiet, save for some low volume gospel music. You knew you were headed to John’s ranch by the route you were going.

As you got closer to your destination, the anxiety set in. What if this was a trap? You shifted uncomfortably in your seat and looked at the driver, to the guard in the seat in front of you. They were armed, but they hadn’t done anything yet. You rested your hand on your gun, hoping it would bring you some comfort.

You pulled up to the big, red fortress. Guards paced around the outside. Peggie flags rippled in the wind. You looked at the entrance into the living room and that’s when you saw him.

John stood on the porch, arms behind his back. His sunglasses sat on his head. He was wearing a blue button up (Which was only half buttoned, revealing his chest), a black vest, and some black jeans. You’re sure they were all designer. He began to walk up to the car as you parked. He opened your door for you, taking your hand to help you out. You were only 5’4” so it was kind of hard to gracefully get out of the SUV without help.

“You’re even more stunning in person.” He said.

“T-thank you.” You were flustered, to say the least. He looked at you with such adoration that you forgot that this wasn’t a date. That this wasn’t a normal get together. You looked at each other for a moment longer until you looked away, at the ground, trying to conceal your blush.

“Let’s get inside. I have dinner set for us.” He rested his hand on your lower back as he guided you to the house. You couldn’t believe it. Dinner?!

Entering the house, you saw a table set on the other side of the fire place. The table was adorned with all sorts of foods. You simply just stared at it, in astonishment.

“I didn’t know what your favorite food was, so I made it all. Please, sit.” He pulled out a chair for you, and you sat down. You didn’t know where to start. There were steaks, roast, mashed potatoes, pasta, fruit, veggies, you name it. You went to stand to dish yourself when John pushed your shoulders back down.

“No, let me. You’re my guest.” He dished you up a little of everything and then himself. He sat at the other end of the table. You took a bite of the steak and groaned, unintentionally.

“Ok, I’ll admit, this steak is fucking amazing—oh sorry. I’ll watch my mouth since you went to all this trouble.” You smiled sarcastically, and went back to eating. John smiled, raising his glass as thanks, and began to eat himself. You two sat quietly as you ate. It was actually pretty nice to eat real food at a dinner table, in a house, with no gun fire in the distance.

“So, tell me, what is your favorite food? I hope this lives up to whatever it is you fancy.” He asked.

“This is going to make me sound like a child, but honestly, its cheese pizza.” You said, a little embarrassed. You loved most food, but pizza would always have your heart. John chuckled.

“No, that’s perfectly fine. I haven’t had my favorite pizza in a long time. There was this place in LA that had the best pizza.” He lost himself in thought for a second. It was as if this was the first time he had thought about his past in a long time.

“What made you leave your past life? What made you come here?” You asked. You only knew John through what you had been told by the resistance. He looked at you with those big baby blues, and looked a little sad, but just for a moment.

“Joseph needed help, and being his brother, I felt it was my duty to be there for him. Anyway, pizza is a perfectly fine food to be your favorite. I hope you saved room for desert.” John stood and walked into the other room, which you assumed was the kitchen. He was gone for a moment and reappeared with some small bowls with spoons. He handed you one and went back to his seat. You looked and saw that it was some sort of either frozen yogurt or ice cream.

“This is gelato. It’s one of my favorites.” He took a bite of his and smiled to himself. You used your spoon and take a small bite to make sure it wasn’t laced with bliss or anything. But what you found, was that it was one of the best things you had ever put in your mouth. You took another bite and said “Oh my God” under your breath as you ate. John seemed pleased with himself.

You cleaned the bowl, and set it down on the table. As you had ate the delicious gelato, Peggies had cleared the table. Some gave you dirty looks, which you happily returned. John stood and offered his hand to help you up. You reluctantly took it and he walked you over to the couch and sat down. You sat on the opposite side of the couch. You took this chance to look around the room. It had high ceilings and a pretty chandelier above where the table was.

“This place truly is a gift. I was so happy to buy it. Makes you feel one with nature with the big doors to the back yard, with the view of the mountains.” John looked past you to the outside. The sun was starting to set, casting sun rays into the living room onto you and John.

“You look ethereal in the sun light.” You turned to look at him and he had somehow scooted across the couch to be closer to you. He was inches from you when you looked up at him.

“I-Uh, thank you.” You stuttered. He raised his hand and caressed the side of your face, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You shivered. You weren’t sure if he was going to kiss you or just stare at you. You waited for him to make a move. His hand moved down from your cheek to your shoulder to your neck. His palm rested on your throat and you suddenly started to panic. Was he really going to choke you out right here? After going to all that trouble for dinner? You went to start cussing him out when he spoke.

“Now. I think we need to do something about that mouth of yours.” He squeezed a little bit against your throat. “I think we need to teach you a lesson about respect.” He ran his thumb over your pulse and released your neck. You swallowed and instinctually went to reach for your throat when he grabbed your hand and stood.

He led you up the stairs to his room. Light peaked through the curtains and dimly lit the room. His bed was lined up with a fire place on the opposite wall, and was parallel with another door which you assumed was to the bathroom. As you looked around the room, John shut and locked the door. You turned to look at him when he harshly pushed you against the wall, his hand finding your neck again. He picked you up by the hips and held you against the door, his hips against yours. His eyes, now looking so hungry, met yours before he crashed his lips against yours.

You melted into the kiss. You had waited for this for so long. His hands gripped your ass hard, you knew it was going to leave bruises. You ground your hips against him, causing him to growl in response. You ran your hands through his hair and tugged lightly. He broke the kiss to kiss your neck, nipping along the way. You angled your head so he could get better access. He bit down hard, causing you to yelp.

“John! What the fuck—“ He pulled away and threw you onto the bed. You went to push yourself up when his hand came down across your ass. You let out an “Ah!” collapsed onto the bed again.

“I’m going to punish you every time you cuss. You’re going to learn.” This turned you on a little. You turned onto your back and looked up at him.

“I’ll promise to be a good girl.” You purred. Your dress and ridden up and exposed your panties. You went to go touch yourself when he batted away your hand.

“You’ll do as you’re told. And I don’t want you pleasuring yourself at all. Understood?” He removed his shirt and vest and looked at you expectantly. You nodded and waited for him to do something. You needed some kind of friction. He leaned down and put his knee right up against your pussy, causing you to whimper.

“Use my knee.” Was all he said, and you happily obliged. He bent down and started kissing you again and he took hold of your wrists and heled them against the bed. You started to grind against his knee. You needed more but this had to do. He held both of your wrists with one hand so that the other could pull down the front of your dress. He grabbed your breast and ran his thumb over your nipple a few times before using his mouth and teeth. You whimpered and arched your back. You needed him inside you.

“Just fuck me already!” You groaned and then he released you, and got off of you and the bed. You looked up at him, frustrated. He looked at you.

“What did I say?” You rolled your eyes and put on your best kiss ass tone of voice.

“I’m sorry. I forgot. Please come back?” You pouted. He didn’t move. And that’s when you took the situation into your hands. You got up and shed your dress. You tossed it to the floor and turned to him. You ran your hands up his chest, admiring his tattoos, before pushing him on to the bed. Before he could say anything, you started unbuckling his belt. He watched you tug down his pants and underwear. He lifted his hips so that you could fully take them off.

You got onto your knees and in between his. His cock was larger than Stacis, and thicker. You looked up at him as you took him into your mouth. You could tell he was burning this moment into his mind. To think back on once and a while. You bobbed up and down as best you could without gagging yourself.

“I told you that you could put that mouth to better use.” He said. You licked a long stripe up his shaft and circled around the head, before taking him back into your mouth. He tilted his head back and began to fuck your mouth. You gripped his thighs to prevent yourself from touching your pussy. You moaned onto his cock and he looked back down at you. He lifted your chin off of him and brought you up to kiss. He grabbed you by the ass and brought you up to straddle his head. He urged you to lower yourself onto his face. You did so and had to grab the head board to support yourself.

He went straight for your clit and you threw your head back in ecstasy. You had good head before, but straddling someone’s head was some next level shit. He tongue fucked you as you felt an orgasm building. You rode his tongue as you came, yelling his name as loud as you could. You didn’t care if the Peggies outside could hear you.

He suckled on your clit as you rode out your orgasm. He slowly raised you up so he could slide out from under you. You stayed where you were as you were still coming down from your high. John pulled your hips towards him and flipped you onto your back. He kissed you lightly, and then looked at you. You were flushed, hair sticking to your forehead, as you panted.

“W-what?” You asked, annoyed. He shook his head and kissed your neck. He lined himself up with you and entered you at a painfully slow pace.

“Please… Go faster.”

“Since you’ve been good, I’ll indulge you.” Without skipping a beat, he thrust his entire length into you, filling you to the brim.

“Oh dear god… This is amazing.” You felt so good you just had to say it out loud. He pumped a few more times, slowly.

“You feel even better than I imagined, Little Lamb. I’ve wanted this for so long.” He rested his head in the crook of your neck, kissing.

“Me too…” You finally admitted.

“I’ve wanted you since I first laid eyes on you, when you came for Joseph. I imagined you just like this, under me, at my mercy.” His thrusts grew more powerful as he reminisced. “Tell me, Little Lamb, just how long have you wanted me?” You ran your nails down his back and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Ever since the baptism.” You said breathily.

“Tell me how you felt. What you wanted me to do to you. Don’t leave out a single detail. Confess to me.” It wouldn’t be John if he didn’t throw in some of his Eden’s Gate spiel.

“When you held me under the water, I wondered what it would be like to be held under you. I just wanted you to take me then and there. Ah…god.” You could feel another orgasm building, it was getting hard to talk.

“Is that it, Little Lamb?”

“I wanted you to fill me up. I wanted you to mark me up, make me yours. Oh, god, John!” You started to come and John took this opportunity to kiss you. His tongue made its way into your mouth and danced gracefully with yours. The bed creaked and hit the back of the wall as he fucked you through your orgasm.

As you came down, John flipped you over and started taking you from behind. He reached both arms around you and hugged you from behind. His mouth nibbled on the back of your ear as he fucked you into the mattress.

“I feel the same way Little Lamb. I want to be the only one you love. The only one that sees you like this.” He lowly laughed. “The only one that fucks you. You’re mine.” You were caught off guard by him cussing, when he sank his teeth into your shoulder, drawing blood. In a weird, fucked up way, this sent you to orgasm instantly. His hips slammed into you as he came with you. You could feel his cum filling you up, coating your walls completely. He fucked you through both of your orgasms and slowly stopped, but not pulling out. He rested his head against your back and caught his breath. He kissed your shoulder and pulled you with him as he laid on his side, him still inside you.

You both laid there, basking in the afterglow. He finally pulled out, causing you to groan. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. You closed your eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

You opened your eyes and for a second forgot where you were. You turned to see John sound asleep next to you. He had draped a blanket over the two of you. You looked at him as he slept. He looked so peaceful. You let yourself forget all the things he and his family had done. You let yourself pretend that you were just an ordinary couple. You let yourself forget, even if it was just for tonight. You moved closer and snuggled into his chest. He put his arm around you and snuggled back. You listened to his heart beat as it lulled you back to sleep.

Before you knew it, it was morning. You felt next to you for John and found that you were alone. You sat up, clutching the sheet to you and looked around. You could smell bacon coming from downstairs. You got up and went to grab your dress, but it was gone. You were about to get seriously pissed when you looked at the chair by the fireplace.

A blue and white striped summer dress was draped over it, with a pair brand new panties, as well as some flats. A little note was pinned to the dressed. It read:

Good Morning Little Lamb I had these bought for you as you slept. I hope you like them. Come downstairs when you’re showered and dressed. -John

You blushed at the note and made your way over to the bathroom to shower.

After you had showered and dressed, you made your way downstairs. John was setting the table when he turned to look at you. He smiled and brought his hands together like he was going to pray.

“Stunning. Absolutely gorgeous.” He walked over to you and brought you into the most passionate kiss. You kissed him back. He guided you to the table and helped you into your chair.

“I made you some bacon, and eggs benedict. I hope you like that.” You nodded hungrily. You had worked up quite the appetite from last night’s activities. You waited for him to sit down before you dug in. It was amazing.

You helped him clean up and do the dishes. It was very domestic, to the point where it made you feel sad. You wanted this so badly. But you couldn’t have it. John picked up on your change in emotion and grabbed your hands.

“What’s wrong?” He looked sincere. You didn’t know if you should tell him. This was crazy, wasn’t it? You couldn’t want to be with John fucking Seed. All the things he and his family had done to the people of Hope County. You took your hands back and walked over to the window and looked outside. You imagined living here, hell, maybe even raising kids here. You grew teary eyed. You looked back to John.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me. I should go.” You went to leave when he grabbed your shoulders and turned you to face him. Concern all across his face.

“Tell me, Little Lamb.” The nickname was all it took for you to collapse and start sobbing. He picked you up and brought you to the couch. He held you as you cried, and cried. You didn’t know how to convey how you felt without making him upset. You wiped you tears away and took a few breaths.

“I…” You sighed. “I want to be with you.” You looked at him. He looked confused cause, obviously, this was something he wanted as well.

“But I can’t. What would the resistance think? I don’t even agree with all of the things that you and your family do. But I just can’t get you out of my head.” Your lip started to quiver again and John pulled you into a big hug. He rocked you back and forth until you weren’t on the verge of tears and pulled away.

“The decision is yours, Little Lamb. I would love to have you here, with me, and my family. We would love for you to help with Eden’s Gate.” John kissed your forehead. You leaned into the kiss and closed your eyes in thought. Would his family accept you? After all that you had done? And what about your friends? Surely you would be shunned. And that would put a big target on your back. You needed some time to think. You looked at John and gave him a peck on the lips, and stood.

“I need some time to think. I will let you know my decision… Once I figure it out.” You grabbed your bag and hurriedly left the ranch. You decided to walk back to your four-wheeler to give yourself more time to think. You turned on your walkie and Hudson immediately bombarded you with questions. You told her you didn’t want to talk and turned your walkie back off. You rode your four-wheeler for what seemed like hours. You ended up in Faith’s region and you decided to stop and dip your feet in the water at a dock you were near. You sat there, watching the ripples in the water from the fish when you felt someone behind you. You looked and saw Faith, or perhaps an apparition of Faith, approach you. She sat beside you in her signature dress, humming.

“Did John send you here to talk to me?” You asked, staring back at the water. She was humming some gospel tune.

“No. He confided in me about your situation. I wanted to offer some advice.” She took your hand and intertwined your fingers. You let her. She continued to hum for little while longer before turning to you.

“I think you need to follow your heart.” She said. You looked at her.

“But if I do that, my life may as well be over. My friends would hunt me down. I know too much for the resistance, and I in good conscience couldn’t help you guys against them. God I wish I would have never taken this stupid fucking job.” You began to get tear eyed again. Faith pulled you into a hug and you cried into her shoulder as she rubbed your back. She pulled away after you were cried out and went back to looking at the water.

“I know you know my story. I know you may not trust me but let me just tell you something. Not following my heart was what almost led me to my demise. Until I met the Seeds, I always did what I thought everyone else wanted me to do, so that I would get some love from them. But eventually I couldn’t do it anymore. And I almost died. Follow your heart. It won’t steer you wrong.” You went to look at her and thank her, and she was gone.

Something she said resonated with you and that’s when you snapped. You knew what you wanted. You wanted John. You wanted to help the Seeds turn Eden’s Gate around. You didn’t care if your friends hated you. You knew in your heart that this was your lifes purpose. To help this family better themselves. That’s why you took this job. To help people. You ran to your ride and revved it to life and headed to Johns Ranch. You started happy crying on your way there.

You pulled up and practically flew off your four-wheeler and ran towards the porch. Peggies looked startled but didn’t try to stop you. You’re sure you’re on their “Don’t Fuck With” list now cause of John. You ran inside and didn’t see John.

“John! Where are you! It’s me! John!” You yelled. You heard him call for you from the back yard. You ran out and saw him with Joseph, sitting on some lawn chairs. You froze. You didn’t know how much Joseph knew, but you were still afraid. You slowly walked up to them. They both stood. You stopped in front of them and looked at your feet, playing with the ring you were wearing, not sure on how to tell them what you decided. Joseph put a hand on your shoulder, and you looked up at him.

“I know why you are here, Little Lamb. I am happy to have you in our family.” He pulled you into a hug and then into that weird forehead touch thing that he does with the others. He placed a kiss onto your head. He pulled away and nodded to John and made his departure.

You looked at John after, and you could see the hope, the pleading in his eyes. You began to cry again and threw your arms around him. “I’m following my heart, and it led me to you.”

#my fic #john seed x reader #john seed #far cry 5 #joseph seed #faith seed #staci pratt #joey hudson #staci pratt x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #my fics

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canaryatlaw · 6 years ago

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alright time to get writing because it’s past 1 am now. today was kinda wild, especially for a day when I didn’t actually leave my apartment or really interact with anybody (except my roommate for a few minutes when she came home, but she pretty much just showered and went to bed). So I’d had my alarm set for noon but ended up waking up way early and not being able to fall back asleep (like 8:15 or some bs like that) but I tried to until like 9 before giving up and getting up. I made some nice breakfast at least and ate that while chilling out and getting some stuff done. I did another face mask thing because for some reason I have like, out of control acne only on my forehead???? it’s really bizarre, I have like 4 pimples elsewhere but like 20 (not exaggerating) on my forehead???? like this is really bizarre and I haven’t really started using any new products or anything that you would think could trigger something like this. weird. to make the mask though they recommend using apple cider vinegar to mix with the powder (it’s like a clay thing, it has super good reviews on amazon) but you can also use water, and I’d been using water up till this point but I got some ACV at the store yesterday so I used that for the first time and it was way different. the consistency was a lot better and made it much easier to apply, and it was like fizzing when I added it and I felt like worked better so hopefully that will help. but yeah I was going around doing stuff until 1:15 which was the time scheduled for the conference call! Okay so context- we all know Time’s Up, the organization born out of the #MeToo movement, but what you might not know is one of their projects is a legal defense fund where lawyers sign up and they will get sent cases regarding sexual harassment/assault/etc. to do pro bono/reduced fee. So I signed up maybe like, 2 weeks ago, and ended up getting an email about a case like a week later, but with another attorney on the email as well, and we agreed to do a conference call today. I obviously can’t talk about the details of the case because that’s all attorney-client privileged info but we discussed the case and going forward with a case (it’s somewhat related to the same general issues in the Title IX case I worked so I have *some* idea what’s going on) and set a time to meet in person. I talked to the other attorney for a bit afterwards about my involvement and basically I have to decide if I want to just kind of help on the case and such (because I don’t know what I’m doing here and was very open about that fact, luckily he seems much more experienced) or if I want to actually be an attorney of record, meaning I’d have the client sign my own retainer agreement and such. So I have to decide what I want to do with that. I’m tempted to go for attorney of record, but there’s a solid chance I’m going to get a job at some point soon (god willing) at which point my ability to work on the case would be reduced, so if I was more just helping that would be a lot more feasible. Idk, I’m gonna think about it. But after getting off the call I spent a while making a letterhead online that I can use for any potential retainer agreements I may need to make. But yeah, this is kind of my first official case??? I was expecting it to be straight up pro bono (which I was fine with) but the type of suit it is means we might recover attorney’s fees from the other side if it goes in our favor, which means I would actually get a cut of the money, which would be awesome being that my income is pretty much $0 at this point. So that’s all very exciting! Once I was satisfied with the letterhead I watched the last few episodes of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel which I am so sad I’m done with, and I chatted with my dad about the case and plan going forward, and a bit about the NY abortion bill that’s been blowing up my facebook feed all fucking day (I mean a solid chunk of my facebook friends are both from New York and Christian so just about all of them were posting about it) and of course the vast majority of them were missing the actual facts about the circumstances under which it allows “late-term” abortion....and the whole thing is just a great example of why I’m very much done with the pro-life movement after spending quite a while entrenched in it (I attended 3 “March For Life”’s, y’all) and while I no longer identify with that label I wouldn’t exactly call myself pro-choice either, I think a world without a need for abortion is a better world for everyone, so we should be working to eliminate the things that create a need for abortion (i.e. effective and affordable birth control accessible to everyone, and support for working mothers who need assistance in affording a child) rather then fighting restrictions for access, and I believe that’s a cause people on all sides of the issue should be behind. But the whole thing blowing up on facebook has been....exhausting to say the least. but anyway, I digress. At 8 I watched Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place, both of which sadly had rather sad endings, I won’t spoil anything more than that but they were still quality episodes. Once I finished MMM I switched over to The Americans which I ended up watching the season 1 finale of, and it’s been somewhat less than thrilling up to this point but oh man that finale had me on the edge of my seat so I guess I’m sticking with it for now. Once I was done with that I was gonna go to bed shortly and was mostly just waiting for my roommate to get out of the shower so I just went to netflix to turn on something as background noise and ended up finding the new Netflix original cartoon series “Carmen Sandiego” so I turned that on and I only watched the first episode but Y’ALL. THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING GREAT. It was seriously very enjoyable to watch, and now I’m gonna have the theme song from the Carmen Sandiego show that aired when I was a kid stuck in my head for the rest of my life. but I very much liked that. Once that was over I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here, it’s currently 1:34 am so I think that’s just cause to get to sleep now. Goodnight dears. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #January 2019 #Rachel's lawyer adventures

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mnemehoshiko · 7 years ago

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi [BULLETPOINT TRASH EDITION]

A SPOILERS AND OPINIONS ABOUND AND POOR FORMATTING CHOICES

(with bonus citing of external canon sources mainly the visual dictionary leaks)

Short version: I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE ON SO MANY LEVELS AND IASDFSDFDASFASDSFDSFDSFSSAFDSADFSDF

Long version:

I enjoyed TFA. But it was very much a safe remake movie because JJ can literally only do remakes and monster movies. I’m also still bitter over Into Darkness BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE HERE FOR SO I’M GONNA MOVE ON.

I really enjoyed Rogue One. It broke new ground etc etc but it had the freedom to do that because it wasn’t dependent on anything ultra important.

TLJ had the awkward positioning of figuring out how to move the main story forward in new and interesting ways AND not remake ESB. And I’m going to be super honest, I was 20% certain they were going to go Rey Skywalker??? Mainly because fanboys are amazingly uncreative but also because it would be a very safe way to go. Ohhhhh, of course Rey has the force. It’s because she’s of the Skywalker bloodline. ALL MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.

As soon as Luke tossed that saber off the cliff, I knew that all my expectations were going to be subverted. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

AND ON THE TOPIC OF LUKE, there seems to be two camps the

HELL YEAH LUKE SKYWALKER camp or the

OMG RIAN YOU RUINED STAR WARS AND LUKE ANDFS@#EWREWRWE camp, to which I’m like

so like did you watch the Original Trilogy my dudes?

No really did you watch the “OMG SHE’S PRETTY WE TOTALLY NEED TO RESCUE HER!!”

the “WELP BRB HEADING TO DAGOBAH WITH NO WARNING BECAUSE REASONS!!!!”

“NO WAIT MY FRIENDS NEED MY HELP SORRY GOTTA GO”

“BRB I JUST GOT MY WORLD VIEW TRAUMATIZED AND I NEED TO FALL IN THE ABYSS LIKE AN EXTRA (TM) BITCH”

“OH HEY I’M GONNA FIGHT MY DAD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER BECAUSE YOLOOOOOOOOO”

like Luke Skywalker lives on impulse

much like his father

like according to the visual dictionary, Leia was supposed to be his first student and she like said no due to like politics and family stuff

but lbr she probably looked at Luke YOLO Skywalker and was like....yeah no my dude you are a messssss

never be the first grad student

also like IF REYSKY was a thing

you’re basically saying

YES I WANT MY HERO LUKE SKYWALKER

TO DROP A KID OF A SANDY WASTELAND THAT EVEN HE BELIEVES IS NOWHERE

which like my dude, he’s from Tatooine and if he’s saying Jakku is nowhere. then like that place is like purgatory

like I STRONGLY BELIEVE if like Rey was his kid he AT LEAST would have dropped her

somewhere with reliable foster parents

and like water

LOTS OF WATER

OKAY I’M DONE RANTING ABOUT THIS

ANYWAY like I can totally believe with like Luke seeing the #darkness + probably Snoke’s influence in his head his immediate response was OMG WE GOTTA KILL IT and then went...oh wait this....is not a chill idea maybe we should talk shit out first/meditate etc

and like IMMEDIATE REGRET AFTERWARDS

honestly this is like textbook Male Skywalker bullshit 101

I HAVE DONE A THING!!! i regret everything now

THIS IS A HORRIBLE SEGUE BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY AVENGING SPACE ANGEL LEIA ORGANA!!!!!

*CRIES A LOT*

RIAN JUST LOVES LEIA AND CARRIE SO MUCH

*UGLY SOBBING*

LEIA USED THE FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

EAT IT FANBOYS!!!

FUCKING IT!!!

LIKE I KNEW BUT LIKE PURE PROOF IN FUCKING CANON

LEIA! IS! FUCKING! FORCE! SENSITIVE!!!!!

also i’m 99% certain Luke didn’t teach it her that trick so like my homegirl literally DID THAT

i just love leia so fukcing much and yes okay the cgi was kind of wonky BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE MY GENEARAL/PRINCESS JUST USED THE FORCE LIKE A BOSS THAT SHE IS

Also i just love Leia so much in this

like That Shot on Crait with her eyes over the collar is like

POETIC CINEMA

no really someone hook a girl up and give me that shot as a lock screen

Also that scene post mutiny showing up in a 3000-thread count couture bathrobe, a matching cane, and blaster? #AESTHETIC

also personal opinion but Billie Lourd in that scene wasn’t acting as much as oh god i’m in trouble face that all children go through

**MORE UGLY SOBBING*

OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT POE ONLY BECAUSE IT’S MY BLOG AND I DO WANT I WANT

*steps on step stool*

I DID NOT CARE ABOUT POE DAMERON IN TFA BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND ONLY GOT TO LIVE BECAUSE OSCAR ASKED JJ TO LIVE AND OSCAR ISAAC IS PRETTY BUT LIKE THAT’S ALL I GOT OUT OF THE MOVIE.

*climbs off soapbox* Poe in this film GAINED SOME DEPTH, sadly it seems to be very polarizing and I think that’s in part due to the fact that it’s pulling on backstory from the EU, primarily Shattered Empire and the Poe Dameron Comics. Shattered Empire doesn’t directly include Poe but it involves his parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. His mom, Shara, went on a mission with Leia and some others for some reason I can’t remember BUT ANYWAY SHE’S A BOSS. A HERO OF THE REBELLION. Poe literally grew up around heroes. One of his squad mates in Poe Dameron is another hero from the rebellion. He has a very wide-eyed view on the concept of heroism? For him it’s daring deeds and important war-changing missions, he’s very much a soldier and not at a leader. At least not yet. You get this immediately from the fight scene with First Order and the bombing run and the aftermath of it.

Poe sees what’s in front of him which is a destroyed Star Destroyer (?), Leia sees the whole picture which is a single ship destroyed at the cost of a significant part of their fleet. Yes, there were heroes but a resistance can’t survive on dead heroes.

You see this again in his willingness to go after the high-risk plan to somehow hack the main ship to get them to stop tracking them. He’s thinking YES THIS IS THE BOLD PLAN MISSION OF MY DREAMS!!! Except it fails, and yes I completely understand that this could have been avoid with like communication but to embark on communication? You need to let go of your ego. Ego is not a BAD THING, but sometimes it can prevent us from being our best self. The best leader we can be. And Poe does learn this as you can see with Leia passing the baton of leadership to Poe on Crait. As Poe realizes that a dramatic last stand isn’t worth the loss. It’s better to run to let the rebellion live than to die in a burst of glory. Those are the hard choices a leader has to make.

OKAY MOVING ON BECAUSE I SUCK AT TRANSITIONS, LETS TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY SONS, FINN TICO

I LOVE MY SON AND HIS TRANSITION FROM BEING A MERE FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR TO A MEMBER OF THE REBELLION !!!!!!! First I loved the fact that his characterization followed naturally from TFA which TO RECAP consisted of:

realizing that the First Order is a horrible idea;

getting the fuck out via some convenient pilot dude who (supposedly) dies;

meeting a girl who STRAIGHT UP ATTACKS HIM under the hearsay of a droid

realizing she’s the BEST THING SINCE TROOPER RATIONS and attempting to flirt because running away from a organization is best done in at least a pair

getting caught up in Resistance nonsense you are 1000% Not Here for because YOU KNOW THE FIRST ORDER and you know losing odds

aforementioned Girl is taken by the First Order and you’re like WELP GUESS I GOTTA TEMPORARILY JOIN this horrible idea to save girl

Tries to save girl but gets knocked out

END OF MOVIE

TLJ PICKS UP immediately after this in which his first and only thought is FIND REY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. THIS IS NOT WORTH DYING FOR Y’ALL ARE CRAZY. Which lets be real, you’re dealing with an organization.....that can destroy an entire space system that you have personal experience with. You’ve just been attacked by the First Order, the Resistance is worse off than they were BEFORE YOU WENT TO (attempt) SAVE REY. Finn’s main priority is WELP THIS IS A LOSING CAUSE GONNA GET MY FRIEND AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO DIE.

Then it hit’s him like a shock. Figuratively and literally because Rose shows up.

BEFORE I TALK ABOUT ROSE I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PAIGE ALSO KNOWN AS i was pretty sure she was gonna die but it felt natural-ish and I also know need to buy Cobalt Squadron for like TICO SISTER FEELS. But during that bombing run you immediately got the sense of

what she was doing was already extremely risky

YOU’RE IN SHIP FULL OF BOMBS

and that her last moments were of someone incredibly important to her

and like eventually TO ALL OF US AND MEEEE

I’m going to be honest and say that this plot was probably the weakest for the audience and for me. I understood what they were trying to cover but I feel some sections got cut for the final version.

BUT BACK TO CHARACTERS, FINN!!!!

had to deal with the struggle of moving past Rey as his sole guiding focus of his story?

Also people are like OMG WHY IS HE SO WIDE EYED ON CANTO BIGHT?!?! THAT’S OOC!!!

and i’m like my dudes

he’s never been outside of the pod of stormtroopers like EVER

HE’S FROM A LIFE OF MONOCHROME AND NOW INFUSED IN A LIFE OF COLOR

Finn: OMG THIS PLACE IS AWESOME Rose: this place is trash and I’m gonna fight it

Also can I give a shout out to that section where he’s explaining the plan to Poe and like Rose is like AHEM I’M HAPPY TO HAVE A FELLOW NERD BUT ALSO I CAN TALK!!!!

Poe on the otherhand is like....ah yes...cute nerds are talking....OH WE CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR FREEDOM!!! YES SOUNDS GREAT!!!

Also his interactions with DJ are essentially him seeing a potential future for himself

and like trash meta moment, unlike Kylo “I Make Poor Life Choices” Ren, he makes the decision to reject that future for himself.

Like Finn’s arc in this movie I would argue is to stop being a passive observer in the narrative and to start CLAIMING his space in the narrative that is Star Wars

like FANON!Finn is very much the Resistance automatically accepting him and him become The Dude in The Resistance

this movie ACTUALLY DID THE CHARACTER WORK for him to become a leader in the Resistance

Look I really love Finn and he finally got the character development he deservessssss

MOVING ON TO MY NEWEST DAUGHTER!!!!

ROSE!!! TICO!!! BEST DAUGHTER!! GOOD DAUGHTER!!! MY SMOL ENGINEER!!

Okay, first off. I will like forever and ever be thankful to Rian for casting Kelly Marie Tran SO JOT THAT SHIT DOWN

BUT MNEME SHE ABUSED--

finish that sentence and i will unhinge my maw to consume your filthy soul

AHEM, I mean you’re entitled to your opinions

which are wrong

SERIOUSLY THO, every time someone goes “Rose straight-up shocked a black boy till he passed out!!!!!” I’m like

okay one, he’s canonically 23 years old

like as a black woman and one with a little brother I’m very cognizant of the impact of black violence in media and the constant view of black boys as adults

but also HE’S 23

two, Rey straight up clobbered him under the hearsay of BB-8 saying that “oh that dude has my dad’s jacket” compared to Rose catching him escaping via escape pods after catching 2/3 people doing the same thing earlier that day + losing her only living family

like if this is the hill you want to die on!?!?!?!?

I JUST REALLY ROSE BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENGINEER TAKE NO SHIT DISNEY PRINCESS OF MY COLD DEAD HEART SPACE

I just she’s so quick and smart but get put into the ANTI-SOCIAL ASSHOLE BOX???

like yes she’s very good and detailed at her job

She also wants to fight everyone

like if i wrote an academia au (but Mneme you do---) she would be like the HELLO CLASS THIS IS OUR EXAM ALSO BONUS POINTS IF YOU GO ON A FIELD TRIP WITH ME ^_^

Student: Dr. Tico, that field is a protest.

Dr. Tico: I HAVE SIGNS AND HANDCUFFS!!!!

I just really loved her arc on Canto Bight and her care for the little people and also the emphasis it’s not the wide dramatic actions that make the resistance but the people that make it thrive.

“We win by saving what we love.”

Mneme that kiss was sexless--

THE GIRL JUST KNOCKED A SHIP OUT OF THE WAY OF A CANNON, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK

She’s be more than down to climb him like a tree later.

OKAY WHILE WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE RESISTANCE

I UNDERSTAND WHY ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO DIED AND THE SHOT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AND JUST

#POETIC CINEMA

but also *UGLY SOBBING*

so like yes I understand that this probably could have been solved via OPEN COMMUNICATION but

Poe has literally just been demoted for flyboy antics

Poe initial interaction with Admiral Holdo consists of “soooo do you understand the situation” in front of a bunch of upper level brass

like maybe if he was like HEY HOW CAN I HELP it would have been better but he literally goes

HI ADMIRAL PLEASE LET EXPLAIN YOUR JOB AFTER I JUST MANAGED TO GET A HUGE CHUNK OF THE FLEET DEMOLISHED

cue Oscar Isaac’s prettiness

so like I understand but also I DISAGREE

also when Amilyn talks to Leia when Poe is like being carted onto the transport saying “I like him!” I’m 99% certain it was implied that she was also down to bang

actually knowing what I know from Leia, Princess of Alderaan

she’s TOTALLY DOWN TO BANG

OKAY LETS FINISH UP THIS NONSENSE WITH REMAINING TWO CHARAS ALSO KNOWN AS THIS IS A BIASED REVIEW AND IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO YOU CAN LIKE STOP HERE AND GO

......

.....

....

*looks around* okay they’re gone?

*TAKES OUT MIC*

FIRST THING FIRST, I HAVE BEEN REY NO ONE SINCE FOREVER AND NOW I AM VALIDATED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD~~~~

It also follows from what Maz said in TFA, “you know they aren’t coming back.” This movie is Rey coming to terms with the failure that her parents inflicted on her, abandonment, and realizing that she doesn’t need some grand legacy to save the galaxy. Being herself is enough, and that’s so so beautiful to meeeeeeeeeeeeee. *weeps*

#POETIC CINEMA

SECOND, KYLO’S ARC WAS GEARED TOWARDS MEEEEEE!!! THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ALL THE CHARACTER SHIT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT KYLO REN SINCE TFA THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!!

Them: KYLE RON WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO KILL HAN AND UNREMORSEFUL. Me: ???? did we watch the same movie??

did you like look at the lighting in that scene???

the facial expressions??

LITERALLY EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT SCENE ABOUT BEING SEDUCED BY THE LIGHT?!!?!?

Kylo himself in TLJ: i didn’t hate him

THIS CONFLICT, THIS UNBALANCEDNESS CONTINUES THROUGH OUT THE FILM!?!? Also, I’m going to be hella honest

pre-TLJ: Renperor is such a horrible trope because Kylo Ren is a disaster human being who has no business and no interest (see Bloodline) in ruling??? LIKE YOU ARE ASSIGNING COMPETENCE TO MY SON WHERE THERE IS NONE

post-TLJ: alright, I can Work With This and I’m 99% certain he is going to be ousted because the FO is like who is this human disaster with the political savvy of a blunt post

like any credibility was lost as soon as he decided to have force tantrum when Luke showed up

and the SHOOT THAT SHIP OUT OF THE SKY!!!! moment

like my son leads wears his trash heart on his sleeve and EVERYONE KNOWS IT

honestly the fact that he managed to lie about killing Snoke is a miracle

but this CANON!renperor

this Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, which i am like laugh my ass of over, is not some triumphant Dark Fuck Prince??

He’s broken man who has thrown so so much into rejecting the light, becoming the monster that his uncle he feared he would become and realized that he done fucked up.

He tells Rey, Let the past die, kill it if you have to.

LITERALLY CANNOT LET THE PAST DIE

does copy his namesakes dramatic robe dropping so like there’s that

Also pre-TLJ: meh there’s a 50/50 chance he’s a virgin but lol it will never but touched on in canon

Post-TLJ: oh god he’s a virgin i will fight you on thissss

AND NOW BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON REY AND KYLO’S OVERLAPPING ARCS

*SCREAMS* FORCE BOND FORCE BOND FORCE BOND

oh did i mention FORCE BOND!?!?!?!?!

Okay yes Snoke helped it along but like THAT LAST SCENE WITH THE DICE AND KYLO LOOKING UP AND SEEING REY

Snoke is dead bitches

what is it

it’s the Force

it was so good to meee

Honestly that face was peak “I’m disappointed but not surprised, I left all your shit on the porch. *SLAMS DOOR IN FACE*”

Like THE INTIMACY OF THOSE FORCE BOND SCENES

and like the evolution and like ASDFDSFSDAFDS

this was so good to me y’all

so good

no really i like never rec meta but like this *kisses fingers* http://corseque.tumblr.com/post/168629533017 good shit

THAT REGENCY TRASH PROPOSAL OF FAILURE

so good

so awful

congrats Kylo, you’ve surpassed your granddad in poor wooing skills

Like literally I can see Anakin standing next to him Force Ghost!Stylez and is just like appalled

so appalled

okay i’m done I’m going to think about star wars and start throwing all my money at the EU YET AGAIN

#tlj spoilers #reylo #finnrose #star wars #STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI #i just loved this movie a lot y'all #it was so good to me on so many levels #I AM LIVING

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santheweird · 7 years ago

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Hey Sarge! (Chapter 1)

Summary: Due to the lack of jobs because of World War 2, Alexander Sami Hale joined the army to keep her family’s head above the water.

She falsified her enlistment form, convincing the officials that she was actually a boy named Alexander Hale.

When her sergeant, James Barnes, was captured by the German forces during a battle in Azzano, Alex went AWOL to aid a man named Steve Rogers to rescue his best friend.

This is her story.

(That eyebrow tho)

“Get the hell outta here! I’ll hold them off!”

“Sarge! No-” Alex cut herself off, wincing as another wave of pain shot through her arm. Her head throbbed painfully and her vision flickered as she tried to look for Bucky through the thick curtain of rain. Fear flashed through her as there were several gunshot sounds and flashes of blue light.

“James!” She screamed over the thunder, pushing away the soldier who tried to bring her to the trucks nearby, hot tears streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the rain.”Bucky!!”

Two months ago: Alex panted heavily as the mid-morning sun beat down on her, her hands on her knees, sweat dripping from her forehead onto the ground. Her legs trembled slightly from exertion as her fingers fumbled for her water canteen. She took a long swig from it and let out a long sigh.

“Yo, Alex.” Alex turned her head and saw Timothy not too far away, hand outreached. “Gimme some of that.” He wheezed.

“What ‘bout yours?” She heaved out, handing over her canteen.

“Stuck. Too lazy to get it.”

Alex rolled her eyes and stumbled over to Timothy’’s pack, reaching for his canteen and with a sharp tug, pulled it out with a tug. She uncapped it and downed half of the contents before handing it back to him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Timothy also handed her back her canteen, this time almost empty with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Every time, Dugan.” Alex grumbled, tucking her water canteen back into her pack. “Every fucking time. You better watch ya hat next time, or you’ll find it hanging off the roof of the barracks one day.”

“Now that’ll be a sight.” A hand clapped Alex hard on the back, and she nearly bowled over. She turned and saw the wide grin of their squad sergeant.

“Sergeant Bucky.” She drawled, mimicking the deep voice of their camp commander, placing her small finger under her nose to imitate his limp mustache. “What brings you here to this rat-infested swamp?”

James paused, not expecting that reply, before his grin widened. “Well, I dunno.” He replied, putting on a lady’s voice. “Just wanted to ask if any of you charming lads have any water to spare for this thirsty dame.” Alex bit her lip savagely at James’ impression of a lady, batting his eyelashes and pulling down his collar a little to show some ‘cleavage’

“What happened to your water, Sergeant Buck?” Gabriel Jones, who was nearby, snorted when Timothy adopted a nasally voice and held his water canteen protectively to himself.

“Gave it to that dashing young man over there.” James replied in a breathless voice, taking off his helmet and grooming his ‘long’ hair. “He looked pretty hot, in more ways than one.”

There was a moment of silence, before the four of them dissolved into giggles, collapsing onto one another like a bunch of schoolboys. Alex reached up, snatched the canteen from Dugan and tossed it to James.

Camp was tough. Waking up as early as 4.30 am and 10 to 20 mile treks before breakfast. Gruelling training from the afternoon to evening, pausing only a few times for meals in the mess hall. Showers under cold water before falling asleep in cramped barracks and on thin mattresses, only to wake up and do it all again tomorrow with sore legs and aching arms. It didn’t help when Alex couldn’t take off her shirt when it was particularly hot, or her identity would be revealed.

Alex admitted to herself that the conditions were vastly different than back at home, perhaps better. She didn’t need to do a god-awful amount of push-ups in the early morning, but she appreciated the fact that she had a bed to rest on at the end of the day. And it was great having friends too. When she was still in Brooklyn, she was solely focussed on work to earn money and making sure her employers didn’t find out about her real gender.

However, being in the army was different. Alex was already being paid, whether she was working hard or not. She didn’t have to worry about needing to rush from one job to another. Just had to stay in the camp and follow orders. Bunking in close proximity with strangers brought everyone, quite literally, closer to each other. It brought a sense of camaraderie through the entire squad, and three men and one girl four men were even closer.

“In more ways than one…pffffftt- AHAHAHA!!” Jones snorted when he redid James’s impression of a lady, sending the other three into hysterics again. Alex clutched her sides as she tried not to land her face into her food. Even though the mess hall was always loud and noisy at mealtimes, she was sure that their table was one of the rowdiest.

Wiping away the tears from her eyes when the laughing fit was over, Alex finally started on her breakfast, which consisted of a bowl of bland, mushy oatmeal and an apple. She shrugged and ate it anyway. At least it was better than nothing.

“Whoa, look at the rat eat!” Alex turned at the voice behind them. It was Cameron, also in their squad, looking down at her in distaste. “I guess he’s really considered vermin, considering that he can stomach this trash.” He sneered gesturing to the bowl before walking away.

James stood up abruptly. “Hey! What did you just say-”

“Sarge! Calm down!” Alex cut in, coaxing him to sit back down on the bench.

“Are you sure about that, Alex?” Dugan asked. “He’s been real annoying to you ever since the start of camp, and it’s getting to be really irritating.”

James nodded angrily, and Gabe started cracking his knuckles threateningly. Alex immediately started trying to convince the three of them to calm down.

“I’m really fine about this. I’ll fight my fights when I want to. 'Sides, I think he’ll get bored and leave me anyways.”

Dugan, Jones and James conceded to lay back, but Alex could see that they weren’t so convinced.

Alex lifted her head, ears straining to hear any noises outside the barracks. She slowly moved up from her lying position on the bed, pausing every so often when one of the soldiers shifted in his sleep. She reached under her bed and grabbed a small bag of toiletries which she had hidden underneath.

Alex padded past the snoring recruits and slowly pushed the barracks door open. She stuck her head out, looking for any officers who might be patrolling the area, and then scampered off towards the showers.

She settled in a cubicle most hidden from the entrance, and turned on the tap at a minimal flow. Stripping down, Alex gave her hair a quick rinse and dampened a a towel to wipe herself down. Drying off, she dressed and washed her bra, the design adopted from an old newspaper advertisement when the flapper style was all the rage.

After wringing it out, Alex gathered her items and crept back towards the barracks, the whole ordeal only lasting her at most twenty minutes. She heaved a sigh of relief and grabbed the handle of the door, only for it to swing out towards her!

A small squeak of surprise escaped her as her amber eyes met a startled blue.

“Alex?! Whatcha doin’ out here?” James exclaimed, his voice lowered to a whisper.

“Uh, I mean- what are you doing out here as well?”

James paused, and then shrugged nonchalantly. “You got me. I couldn’t sleep, so I came out here for a smoke.”

“I-I didn’t know you smoked.”

“Not very often. What ‘bout you? Couldn’t sleep too?”

“You could say that.” Alex replied, suddenly thankful that she chose to rewear her pajamas so that there wouldn’t be a bundle of suspicious looking laundry, and her small bag of toiletries along with her bra was hidden in her pocket. “But I’m goin’ back in now.”

James nodded before opening the door slightly wider for her to pass through. She slipped in with a nod of thanks and power-walked as quietly as she could to her bed. She climbed into bed, heart beating furiously, only relaxing when she heard the door close.

After hiding away any incriminating evidence, Alex’s mind went back to their conversation:

“You got me. I couldn’t sleep, so I came out here for a smoke.”

Now that was strange. Training was so tiring that everyone usually immediately fell asleep once the day was done. Homesickness?

As Alex let her mind drift, she imagined James standing outside in the chilly night, with only the smoke of a cigarette for company. The thought brought an unknown ache to the bottom of her stomach as she slowly drifted to sleep.

Notes:

- Lets write Alex, Bucky, Dugan and Jones all fooling around after training immediately after a potentially angst-filled scene, shall we? ;)

- I read that “Dum Dum” Dugan and Gabriel “Gabe” Jones were in the 107th, just like Bucky, and I thought it would be best that all four of them would be friends.

- Alex is used to sleeping on just some cardboard at home, and not eating for days when there isn’t enough money for food, so she’s not complaining as much as the other recruits.

- Oooohhh, Cameron made an appearance. Ooooohhhh, Protective!Bucky has also made an appearance! Maybe because Alex is of a small stature, so (s)he kind of reminds Bucky of Pre-Serum Steve, making him go Mother Hen!Bucky.

- But I know y’all aren’t worried about Cameron, ‘cos just like what the sneak preview said, Alex is gonna punch him in the sucker one day :)

- As Alex has learned in the streets that bullies would leave her alone once they’re bored, she becomes mostly unreactive to taunts and blows so that they would go away sooner. Which is why she asked Bucky, Dugan and Jones not to go after Cameron. Also, three-on-one? Isn’t that kinda overkill?

- Alex showers when everyone is asleep, for obvious reasons. She also does it as quickly as she can so as not to get caught.

- About the design of the bra she saw in an old newspaper advertisement. I wasn’t actually lying. Check out the Symington Side Lacer from the Roaring Twenties. Alex’s version is mostly made out of cloth scraps and some help from Aunt Grace, made with the sole purpose of hiding her breasts during work, and in this case, the army.

- When Alex accidentally bumped into Bucky outside the barracks, she was wearing another makeshift Side Lacer, so he didn’t suspect anything. Thank goodness.

- Oooooohhhh what’s this? Alex is developing feelings for Bucky? Not blaming her though. That man looks delicious in the uniform ;) (She won’t be realizing her feelings until much later though)

- Any questions, just ask! Any feedback? Tell me! Comments are greatly appreciated!

Prologue Chapter 2

Masterlist

Tags:

@mizz-kraziii @cami23593 @beautiful-aravis @buckybarnesneedscuddles @dottirose @katykyll @frittiefries @chipilerendi @fandomsandahintofmagic @jaditestuff

#ca:tfa #captain america #steve rogers #winter soldier #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #1940s bucky

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eminentfocus · 4 years ago

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Bravery Despite The Wilderness

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you are not enough. You will always find it because you have made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are live in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you do.” - BRENE BROWN. BRAVING THE WILDERNESS.

Full transparency: I am tired y’all! Not just sick of the “new normal” tired. Not I had a busy week and need a quiet weekend, tired. Not the kids have been rambunctious all week, we need a vacation, tired. I am tired, tired. I am tired of physically battling chronic illness. I am tired of mentally rationalizing that any of this “new normal” is normal. I am tired of emotionally shutting down because it’s “all just too much right now” while new blows continue landing. I am battle worn and it clearly shows. My hair hasn’t been washed or combed in almost two weeks. I have masses of hair on areas of my body where there should not be any. I change from running leggings back into lounging sweats and live there. I haven’t scheduled an appointment with my doctor in almost a year. I haven’t seen friends in months now. I. Am. Tired. and it shows by my lack of self-care.

Everyone wanted to make a big deal when Brittany Spears chopped off her hair. They said she was crazy, off the rails, unstable. What if? What if she had forgotten to take care of herself so long that she had no choice but to cut it off? What if her shaving her head was the first step she took toward loving herself in months? What if what you thought was the downward spiral for her, was actually the start of a healing journey, by caring for her hair for the first time in a long time? I may have gotten to the point of the big chop myself. We all forgo ourselves when we feel bad, scientifically proven. So how does one exactly go about walking bravely through the wilderness when they look and feel like a homeless crackhead? Where we always start: exactly where we are.

Merriam-webster.com defines “bravery” as: “the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : the quality or state of being brave : COURAGE.” Brittany was courageous. She looked in the mirror and realized where she was. She knew exactly what she had to do to fix it, and she just did the fucking work. She knew she would become a mockery before she cut it. Honestly, I don’t think she wanted to, but knew she had to. That’s why I personally think she sat window side in the salon. She was inviting the world in to watch her transform, knowing y’all would mock her. She moved forward despite the fear. She is brave. She walked in her wilderness. Her truth. Be like Brittany. Go chop your hair- Er… I mean go do self-care!

Wait, wait! No. Not bubble baths, candles and cheat meals. Yeah, okay. I mean those are good too, but they are not really the self-care I’m talking about. That’s marketing mumbo jumbo to get you to purchase the hope of “feeling better” so they can make some money. The self-care I’m talking about involves YOU, not THINGS for you. Down the rabbit hole we go!

Caring for our feelings. Western society teaches that you become stronger when you push your emotions down and bury them. You show maturity or valor for not having a biologically programmed response to a trauma. They paint an image that as you pick up all this emotional baggage you become stronger, wiser and smarter. The actual truth without the sprinkles: You are turning yourself into a trash dump for toxicity. Pushing down feelings does not do anything but create a pressure cooker. Be brave enough to hit the release valve. Sit with your feelings and find the value/moral that is being triggered. Remember yesterday’s message about emotions- feelings are just signposts to keep us on the path toward our values. Seeds fall to the ground in nature all the time. They do not grow from the fall, but from the nurturing of water and light. Your feelings too need airing out to stop weighing you down and inspire growth. Bring them to light and water them by setting healthy boundaries when your values are being tested.

Caring for our boundaries. Everyone pushes our buttons from time-to-time. We sometimes offend people when we don’t mean to. Sometimes people have the best intentions but lack an adequate understanding to actually help. People are people. We are all broken. That’s why I talk so much about the importance of giving and receiving grace. But what about the people or situations that aren’t just annoying or confusing? What about the people who no matter the time of day, they leave you drained? The ones who consistently go on doing the things that directly trigger your values, after you’ve told them it hurts. The ones who exhibit behaviors by choice. Do you know who they are? No? Start a journal of your emotional triggers, you’ll find them quickly! Once you do know, create a cushion, do not go on a blocking rampage. I mean it! Just create a space for you to be in control of how their bullshit comes through the fan of life at you. That’s what it is, a bullshit storm that they know will draw you back into their castle so they don’t have to be alone in misery. Don’t fall for it. If it’s not helpful to you, it’s just distracting bullshit. Dig a moat and stay on your side. You do not have to answer that facetime call. You do not have to respond to that text message. You. Can. Say. No. Especially when you really mean it. You have to control the fan here, not the shit flying through it at your face.

Opening to vulnerability. I know we all HATE, hate, hate this emotion. We loathe it. We conjure up images of death, disappointment, fear, loss of control. We hide it and bury it until an “acceptable” breaking point, usually a tragedy. I personally struggle with vulnerability. The second you see me fall off the social radar, I’m struggling. I shut down and close out. I suffer alone as to not spread around my negativity. Sound familiar? What really is this monster of an emotion that we all want to keep a light on at night around? Mark Manson so eloquently describes it as: “Vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from others. That’s it. You just freely express your thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions regardless of what others might think of you.” Vulnerability is simply authenticity. Do you still hate it?

Times of fear and uncertainty. I’ll say it just because we are all already so sick of it: RONA. It has been 299 days that our family has been social distancing, working, schooling, eating, exercising, growing and bickering, through a global pandemic. 299 days of news and media propaganda spewing. 299 days of losing the very things that we thought were safe. 299 days we have been watching the economy dump wondering if our financial situation would turn. That is uncertainty. That is palpable fear- a signpost that our values are disrupted. So what do we do? We feel, decide and adapt; just as we were created to do.

Every positive has a negative. Our brains automatically work on a negative feedback loop. Western social norms go against the way we are organically wired. Most of what we think we know is wrong and it has been scientifically proven. We learned all of this together since the beginning of the new year. We have grown. Now that we know better, we have to choose to do better. That’s the work. We cannot go on doing the same things and expecting a different result, that’s insanity. Take the first step into your wilderness. Instead of seeing the losses of 2020, see the opportunities that it made room for. Take one step forward from exactly where you are today. Take another tomorrow. Every day take one step. Prioritize your time to include yourself. Be brave. Hit that do not disturb button. Tell a friend that you are struggling and honestly answer their questions of concern to sit with your feelings. Schedule that walk with a friend you’ve put off for too long. It takes bravery to prioritize yourself but you and your values are worth it. Do the fucking work and ignore the superego!

That’s self care. Not bath bombs.

#TheRabbitHole

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ziggykazenzakis · 8 years ago

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i heard medium is a dyieng website so imma drop here all i had there just to have it somewhere

Schedule

12:02 — Get up slowly, smoke the first cigarette. Find out you’re out of toothpaste.

12:10 — Watch the new episode of Men Are Important, a show about the world where Men Are Important.

12:32 — Fall asleep in the middle of Men Are Important.

13:11 — Wake up nervously, smoke the second cigarette. Eat something.

13:17 — Download a collection of short stories by someone incredibly obscure, some comic books, bit of contemporary french cinema. Never open downloads.

14:00 — Go to the store to get groceries and toothpaste, come back with cigarettes, white wine and frozen pizza.

14:23 — Write post for Community Buzzfeed, titled “28 reasons my God is better than yours”.

16:00 — Go outside.

17:00 — Point fingers at journalism majors.

19:27 — Tell strangers at a bar how comic books and radio are close as mediums.

20:52 — Get hit in the face.

22:12 — Come home, write an essay on cultural significance of 400 Blows (never watch 400 Blows). Smoke fourteenth cigarette.

23:49 — Look in the mirror.

00:28 — Read Batman comics, open another pack of cigarettes.

01:02 — Read Batman comics, but ironically.

02:37 — Think of your own grandeur for prolonged periods of time, do absolutely nothing.

03:58 — Find the strangest porno possible.

04:49 — Try to fall asleep, cry silently.

12:02 — Get up slowly, smoke the first cigarette. Find out you’re out of toothpaste.

bad joke from 2014

a man walks into a bar man drinks and drinks as he tries to drown his sorrow in cheap yet over-priced liquor which is probably watered down too he comes to a realization epiphany, perhaps not even that though because he spent the most of his adulthood trying to shrug off that idea deep back into the ether he comes to a realization that whatever he does is meaningless meaningless beyond the point of comprehension he doesn’t care for dead philosophers mind masturbation nor for the idea of time and space being the same intertwined thing all he knows is that his actions have no impact on the world around him none

after that setup you might expect a cheerful twist or an absurd one nihilism is intensely boring you might think, “it’s not about the journey it’s about the destination, honey” well first of all, don’t patronize me secondly, we can still get back to the base of this anecdote some slapstick comedy, maybe? or salvage the entire thing with some pop-cultural references that y’all hate but pretend to love it’s actually quite an art, to be pretentious whilst talking about Batman of all things

man keeps on drinking he looks up at the tiny TV atop the bar it’s a rerun of some sports game is that what they called? sports games? the whole thing is ridiculous and way past my control over it commentator says, “stop wallowing in self-pity” man is confused he looks to his left he looks to his right he looks right at the screen and gulps a shot of whiskey “that is what you’re doing with your life? little cry-baby anyway, back to you Johnson” “the game is quite a race today, folks…” and the voice trails off barkeep already saw the game he doesn’t care it’s not like there was much to care about in the first place man pays the bill leaves a tip not too much, not too little he goes home he’ll try to forget and he’ll inevitably fail

the bar was called “Huge Sweaty Balls” are you happy now that’s the punchline that’s the joke you’ve been waiting for everything is fucking great

Banned Names

Amir left the subway, avoiding stranger’s gaze, awkwardly tapping into it ever so often, apologizing as much as he can for snow-covered ten gallon hat using only his eyes. Through side streets and backstreets, which lead to crooked steps, which lead to a heavy door, which leads to basement. Hit aperture with his hat, bowed a bit, came in. Through hallway, and must shake hands with everyone, came. “Sorry guys, slept through”, Amir said. “What’s with the hat, did Haggard die?”, said Jim. “I’ve decided, that the band is called Astral Cowboys”.

“No”, said Thrasy. “Why?”, said Amir. “Cause that’s some fucking bullshit. I disagree”, said Thrasy. Thrasy was sure that the might one is the right one. Not many people agreed with him on things but less have tried to argue.

“Your will and we would have been called Wacky Eugenics”, said Amir. “I like it”, said Jim, not expecting spited glances from both sides. “And what would that be, in your idea? Delta Witchhouse?”, said Thrasy. “Nah, pretty casual psychedelics”, said Amir. “Why not just post-punk”, said Jim, fully expecting spited glances from both sides.

“Alright”, said Amir, “Astral Cowboys, gimme something better”. “Heinous Crime”, said Thrasy. “Circumstances”, said Jim. “No, Complications”. “Upvotes From The Underground”, said Jim. “If you won’t take it seriously then shut the fuck up”, said Thrasy. “A Kilo Of Potatoes”, said Jim.

“You got some bad ideas, Astral Cowboys”, said Amir. “Where does this preconception comes from, that you got the final word?”, said Thrasy. “Main vocals, lead guitar, lyrics — who else?”, said Amir. “Richards rules the Stones”, said Thrasy.

“Imma smoke”, said Jim, and left. “And one who dares to think that Astral Cowboys is a good title for anything should not write anything let alone songs”, said Thrasy. “It’s a good title! Intentionally kitsch but comfortable, relaxed, some chick shit, in a good way”, said Amir. “Here’s what’s going to happen”, said Thrasy. “Justice will be accomplished. Great, strong people been showered in mud by the weak, time and time again. Because they were allowed to. We’re going to punk. And it won’t be a riot. It will be anger. My holy mission is to continue what the Ramones started, convinced conservatives and a bunch of beautiful, rare bastards. I’m going to hit you, and you are going to hit the ground, and the band shall be called Circumstances. Or whatever the hell, Jim had some good ideas, but not Astral Cowboys, chief”.

Jim looked at the falling snow under the light of the street lamp. As he was lighting up a cigarette, he thought that he should learn to draw. He opened up a two years old text file on his three years old phone which was titled “bandnames.txt” and contained such as “Damn, A Burger? Don’t Mind If I Do”, “The Whatnots”, “No Weekends” and so on. He added “Ciet Vong”, which put up the file at the top of the list, threw the cig into a snowdrift, and walked back.

Jim walked in on a couple of grown children, trying to wrestle somewhat, and to hit, and not to damage all the appliance around. “How about Homoerotic Subtext? For a band name”, said Jim.

The band was standing and smoking. “We wasted three paid hours without touching the instruments”, said Amir. “Next week, same time?”

et in arcadia ego

looked barely dead and the cats started chewing on my thigh. They are sure that I’m dead, that I have no need for it, and that the still warm flesh is much more enjoyable than dry feed. The screens around blink with bright imagery of sin. Pick up the phone, look at the list of recent calls, which consists of the same number. After a click, beeps, before someone could reply, say “large pepperoni”, tell address, say, that I won’t need the change. Full cats fell asleep under the warm screens. After an hour to the dot, knock on the door. A kid paler than me holds a large white box the content of which is covered in sand round-shaped bread. He left without saying anything with his ten percent tip (cause death isn’t a reason to be uncorteous). Someone vaguely familiar comes in, full of energy, greets, tells how someone somewhere robbed a bank and uploaded the video of it on one of those sites. Says that if you take a city map and connect all the banks and their subsidiaries you’ll see a pentagram made of pentagrams which are made of pentagrams. “Dude, the main problem with you-know-who is that he didn’t transform hell into heaven but just sits there being a cog”, he says. After a brief pause, I say “we gotta call some five acquaintances and play some basketball”. “Good thinking, dude, good thinking. If all’s well we gotta smash some ATM afterwards. I don’t know why people don’t do it all the time, those things don’t look that hardy”, he says. We leave, the weather is perfect.

untitled

Sportscaster screams “verbiage” when I’m on a stroll Decribing empty vistas filled with horny patrols My dead self is my best self mind not in Malcolm’s way Beware of feedback loops every step of the way Give me a reason to leave my poorly assembled set To this very day les tricoteuses make content

Well you have ears and you have eyes Don’t listen to me look at some other guy There’s some courage to be had Writing down history of victorious empty heads It must be side effect of broken sleep patterns Finding rhythm and beauty in fecal matter

Stinging bland colors exorting a laugh Soundbites of worst to offer, what a fun life I’m asking others how to feel Plateauted yet again it’s no big deal When there’s light again over parks and backdoors I’ll try to mute proclivities towards bromide and havenots

My Dear Friends

The only thing here separating a lion and a man is a lousy moat. Jack Drowsey stands alone in Miami Zoo and stares at the animal. The sun is high on this weekday, Jack ignores a text from his boss, the lion looks back at Jack serenely, Jack puts phone on silent when boss calls, the lion yawns and stretches, Jacks turns the phone off when his wife calls. Jack leaves the zoo and gets in a car for which he has a key. Turns the ignition on, rips off BMW Dealership sticker off the glass and drives. He spent four years in Florida and never seen an alligator, but plenty of idiots. When Castro died, he saw a miami cuban and a skinhead hug. He drives among palm trees and potholes and thinks of his childhood in rural California. He had two friends, Barney and Billy. Barney now lives in San Francisco doing “some gay bullshit”, as Jack calls it. Billy died a few years back, OD’d on Xanax. It gets dark as he crosses the state line. Back in Bakersfield, Jack, Barney and Billy had a game. There was this guy everyone called just Dirty who had a real oxy problem. He was about twenty, but no one knew for sure, while Jack and the gang were all thirteen at the time. The goal of the game was as follows: get Dirty in a cage. They had a cage. The game was usually lost, except for that one time, when Billy told Dirty that if he stayed in the cage for an hour, they’d give him twelve dollars. Dirty walked into the cage, the boys locked it and left. From then on, Dirty was the wiser. Jack has been driving for three days straight now. Once, Barney had a Problem, he wanted to enlist. This curly pudgy kid, the kind who listens to Talking Heads, seventeen at the time, decided he had enough. He shaved his head, started running in the morning, talking about some evils from abroad gathering upon our doorstep, with nothing but vile intentions under their brown skins. Jack didn’t really care, he was happy for his friend to lose some weight and get a better chance at getting laid, but Billy was fuming. For three weeks there were constant arguing, until the two stopped talking and shaking hands altogether. Two months later, Jack’s birthday, which he saw as an opportunity to reconcile his buddies. They spent most of the night at the opposite ends of the room until they were drunk enough to get into some altercations. The previously routine arguing quickly turned when Billy yelled “Bash the fash!”. He must’ve forgotten that previously an artsy cunt spent time working on his body, while Billy was smoking weed and telling young women that they should all look more like Suicide Girls. Barney broke Billy’s nose, who was then smiling and coughing blood laying on the ground. Barney cried a bit. Everything returned to normal. Jack is approaching LA. He hadn’t slept, he hadn’t eaten, he stopped at a gas station once and got a bottle of water. He shuts his eyes for a second at an intersection and a truck is swift and merciless. Now he’s in LA, of sorts. It’s snowing. Dirty approaches him, but he’s clean, and he’s dressed up as Elvis. “Hi, Jack, remember me?”, says clean Dirty. “It’s me, Bruce”, he says. “You’re dead, buddy. Billy is here too, you wanna meet him? Or maybe someone famous first, how does a date with Rita Hayworth sounds to ya, huh, old pal?”, says Dirty. Jack keeps walking, Dirty follows. There’s no sunshine, only snow. There are no cars and Dirty is the only person around. Where would be banners and posters and billboards that advertise a multibillion industry of boredom is nothing; all of them show nothing. “Where are you going, you little shit?”, says Dirty, and Jack finds himself to be thirteen. He keeps walking. “You think I don’t remember? Here it’s hard to forget. All you do is remember”, says Dirty to the kid. “Where the fuck did you even find a cage?”, says Dirty, stops walking, mumbles something, pulls out a cigarette. Jack stops walking too. “We were just kids”, Jack says. “Whatever, asshole. I don’t care. There isn’t some lesson to be had here. Just go”, Dirty says, puffing on a newport. Jack is adult again, and he keeps walking. Until he sees Billy, whose skin is whiter than the snow around. “Why did you leave them?”, he says. Jack punches Billy in the shoulder. “Why did you leave us?”, he says. Billy can’t handle the punch and falls on his ass. “You and Barney seemed to have it figured out, somewhat. He with his art, you with your wife and a job. Not a great job, but a real job, doing something, being able to afford shit and all. I had absolutely nothing. I had no one. I did not leave you two, you did that before. I had bills, I had no fun, I had an easy way out. I took it. What’s your excuse?”, says Billy. And Jack has none.

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

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4 Surprising Stories About Masturbation In The Workplace

I work on the internet, so you can safely assume that every word you’ve ever read that I wrote here, or on Twitter, or on my personal blog “Things I Plan to Burn,” was written while I was knuckle-deep in furious masturbation. Don’t act surprised. But did you know that masturbation is a huge, turgid part of the working world around you too? I know, pop that monocle! Turns out lots of people are trying to corral the tadpole while on the job. 39 percent of people admit to tweaking the ham nubbin at work, according to one survey, and that simple statistic is only the beginning. So come (so to speak) and learn what’s happening around you.

Robert Pattinson Wanked It On Film

There’s a 60 percent chance that your favorite film with Twilight in the title which also stars Robert Pattinson is one of the Twilight movies. And Pattinson’s star has just continued to rise, thanks to him also acting in pieces of cinematic not-diarrhea. In 2008, he was able to thrust himself balls-deep into the role of Salvador Dali in the film Little Ashes. You’ve no doubt watched and rewatched it, because who wouldn’t want to see a sparkle-pire with a Dali mustache choke-slam Mr. Cyclops for a few minutes whilst sipping a Pepsi and contemplating their life choices?

According to Pattinson, the movie required a lot of nude scenes, which may shed some light on why Dali painted so many floppy, wilty clocks and whatnot. One of said scenes also required Dali to tubthump his chumbawumba, and being the consummate professional he is, Pattinson opted to do his own stunt work. You or I would have surely let Andy Serkis don a motion caption suit and fill in for Dali’s dong, but hey, this is Robert Pattinson. Dude gets the goddamn job done.

The experience was so moving for Pattinson that it made him quit acting for a while, since his O-face had been permanently set to film. And why didn’t he opt to just not do it for real? Because “it just doesn’t work” — with “it” being flogging the boglin, since it’s hard to pretend to have a handful of chubmeat without actually having a handful of chubmeat. Hollywood is where dreams come true.

People Get Paid $36,000 A Year To Wank

Obviously we’ve all taken a moment at work to think “Why are my genitals not out right now?” That’s human nature. But have you ever dared to dream of a job for which whipping out your giblets and setting them all a-twitter with various googahs and crotch-related bric-a-brac was actually what you got paid for? Dare to dream no more, my throbulous readers, for the future is now! And it’s damp!

LoveWoo, a company obviously named by a European who’s under the impression that “woo” in any way lends itself to sex and not half of a Homer Simpson impression, requires a sex toy jockey to try out their wares on a full-time basis. The position (heh) pays about 36,000 U.S. dollars a year, and includes health benefits (because you’re going to get a repetitive stress injury and we all know it).

The job has a good deal of other perks, including holiday leave, birthdays off, two days a week you can work from home, and also your entire job consists of inserting things into yourself or inserting yourself into things. Five days a week. For actual money. I dare anyone to last a month without constantly being haunted by the vague scent of pan-fried ham.

They say you should do what you love, and they also say that you should love yourself, and yet other people say “I wonder if this fits in here,” and it looks like all three of those people were the same person in this instance. Maybe that means this crazy world of ours still has a little magic left in it.

Freelance Writers Did Rubbing-Out Research

Mark Sergeant, senior psychology lecturer at Nottingham Trent University and not technically a doctor, has said that a workplace masturbation break would be a very effective way to relieve stress at work. This is something which I figure anyone jacking off in a back alley over a stained Teddy Ruxpin could have told you, but I guess the “lecturer” title gives this guy’s opinions a bit more weight.