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peachy-wolfhard · 2 years ago

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He’s an asshole but he’s MY asshole (V)

A/N: ngl i cried writing the beginning of this, rewatching the season for this series has been rlly fun (except for the scene where Fei dies rip my queen), OH MY GOD DONT USE THE SCHEDULE THING BC THEN THE TAGS DONT WORK!!!

Taglist at the bottom, feel free to ask to be tagged in upcoming parts!

Warnings: ANGST, girlie u are going THROUGH it, Reggie’s a douche, more angst, y’all almost break up, reader is said to wear a dress but its only a passing comment, drinking, swearing, eating, five might be ooc bc i havent written for him in so long, smoking, sex implications

Word Count: 4.2k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7

Laying on the pool table yet again in the Hotel Obsidian after your brother and other sister died. Can't seem to fucking escape this place. It's like Hotel California. Great now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head. Laying on your back, head against the lip of the pool table, you admire the necklace Fei had got you when you were a teenager. Yours had said ‘Best’ while theirs said ‘Friends’. Originally they were black with white lettering but due to time, they had faded to a bronze color with black lettering from the years of filling them in with sharpie. Tearing up you curl into a ball and start to sob. My fucking family is dead, my fucking best friend is dead. Now in the fetal position, you full-body sob, not caring if anyone sees.

Ignoring the ongoing argument in the other room, you go to the buffet trying to find something small to snack on, finding an apple. Using your knife you peel and slice the apple, cutting it into little cubes. The thought of cubes breaks you again, dropping your knife on the floor and dropping to your knees. I want my family back, I want my fucking family, I NEED them. I need Alphonso’s shitty jokes, I need Jayme’s daily existential dread talk, I need Chris’ happy disposition, I need Fei. Sobbing you slide down the wall silently munching on the apple cubes. After a cry sesh, your arms fall to your sides, brushing the matted-down carpet. Looking forward all emotions drained out of you, feeling empty. Deciding to see what the other idiots are up to you head back toward the balcony.

Before walking into the room you hear Ben and Diego arguing. Leaning on the column you watch them argue, numb. “Hey, you guys done? The universe is disappearing outside. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too late,” Five says. “Come on, Five,” “It's over Luther, we failed.” “Come on. It cant be over over,” Viktor says. “Yeah, come on, Five. We gotta figure this out, man,” Diego insists. “Okay. How about we take a step back? Look at the big picture here. Most of us have spent the last 28 days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?” The room goes silent, the Umbrella’s reflecting on their past 28 days. 28 days ago I wasn't in this shithole and had all my siblings. Walking from your column you stand next to Ben, his arms wrapping instinctively around you. Normally, this would make you smile but not now, not after half of your family died. “Well, we made some friends along the way,” Luther says positively. “Incorrect! You know what we’ve done? Nothing. We made things worse every single time,” Five corrects Luther. Leaning closer to Ben your head leans against his bicep sighing. “Don't save the world.”

“Well, on that…super happy note, we’ve um--oh, what the hell,” Luther says as both he and Sloane stand. “We’ve got a little announcement to make,” “We’re engaged!” they say in unison. “Kill me, Jesus,” Ben mutters making you smile for the first time. Taking the flask out of his hand you take a long drink before giving it back. “Now?” Allison asks. “Yeah. Look, we realize the timing is less than ideal. But, obviously, it's now or never. Am I right, Five?” “Don’t drag me into this, please,” Five says while looking away. “What…Whatever time we have left, we wanna spend it with all of you. So we’re super pumped if you would join us in the banquet hall at 6:00 p.m. for a celebration of our love, and the official union of what's left of our two great families,” Sloane explains. “Dress code is creative black tie.”

Sloane goes around handing out their wedding invitations when Reggie and Klaus return after being gone for days. Klaus explains that they were tangled up in a father-son end-of-the-world road trip. Klaus’ long explanation ends with him saying that he’s now immortal. Huh, so that's what Diego was talking about. After accusing Klaus of getting into bath salts, Reginald asks why we’re playing with jars. “They’re invitations. Luther and I are getting married,” Sloane says to Reggie. “If he goes to their wedding I'm gonna be even more pissed off,” Ben whispers to you. Ah, your wedding was a magical time full of arguing and absent fathers. Sloane hands him an invitation before Luther tells him space is limited and taking it back. Ben picks your invitation up and looks at it, “Ours were better,” he jokes. “Well I mean it's not like they have marketable powers like us,” you continue joking.

“Dad, have you been taking your pills?” Sloane asks. “As a matter of fact, I haven't. And I can confirm that I’ve never felt better in my life. You thought you could dope me up and slow me down, take control of my affairs and squander my fortune,” Reginald says, looking directly at you. He’s always hated me, accusing me of only being with Ben to get a hold of his money, the feelings mutual. “Well, Klaus here was good enough to wean me off that wretched poison, and now that the fog is lifting I can see all your dastardly designs with a bracing clarity.” “You took him off his meds? What were you thinking?” Sloane asks upset. Reginald is then sent into another spiel about how he's the only one thinking and then calls him an impressive young man, causing Diego to laugh. “As for the rest of you, your training is to resume post-haste,” Thank fuck some normalcy in your last couple of days. Ben and you quickly tell him that you're ready. You can tell he’s been waiting for this, to go on a big grandiose mission since the last huge mission was years ago.

Five and Reginald start going back and forth; Five mentions that he talked to Pogo. God, I can't remember the last time I saw him let alone heard his name, I miss him. “Nobody wants you here, Dad,” Luther tells Reginald. “Hey, you don't speak for everyone, big guy,” Ben replies holding your entwined hands up. I don't even wanna be around him, he’s done nothing but make Ben and me feel like shit. I mean he didn't even come to our wedding when it was at his own house! “Feel free to join him.” Before Reggie can continue with another one of his long tirades, Klaus interrupts taking him to ‘have a cup of tea’ in his suite. Diego leaves as Lila quickly follows him; Sloane then leaves presumably to go see what’s up with Reggie, leaving you, Ben, and the Umbrella’s alone.

Walking past Luther and Viktor, Ben holding your hand and pulling you along with him, he overhears Luther mentioning his bachelor party and how “not everyone is invited.” “What was that?” Ben stops making the three of you look at him. “Nothing man, nothing,” Luther shrugs off with a quiet chuckle and smile. Ben quickly continues with you in tow, walking even faster than before. Getting to what you have claimed as your room Ben flops on the bed and sighs deeply. Flopping down next to him you ask “Is everything alright? You’ve been pouting since we left.” Ignoring you and rolling on his side away from you, staring at the wall. “Well, when you want to tell me I’ll be open, not gonna force it out of you,” you say walking towards the door baiting him to say what’s wrong. “Okay fine you pried it out of me,” he says with his usual dramatic flair, rolling onto his back, and staring at the ceiling. “It’s just…why wasn't I invited to the bachelor party?” he asks, completely serious. “Babe, are you joking?” you ask smiling thinking it’s just another one of his pranks. “No, why would I be joking?” he says turning and looking at you now sitting on the bed. “Well I mean you’ve been an asshole to them the entire time they’ve been here,” you tell him. “Listen, I’m gonna find Sloane and see if she needs anything before we get ready.”

Walking to what you remember is Sloane and Luther’s room, you start reflecting on Ben’s actions. Being that you were the only person that truly got to see who Ben was or wanted to be. For everyone (and even sometimes you) he wears a mask of a confident, arrogant leader but in those times when his mask slips you can truly see him. An affection-starved man craving any and all affection and recognition he can get. A man that just wants to be loved and seen by his father. Someone who has played a character so long that he himself doesn't know who he is. Finally, you made it to their room, knocking to the tune of ‘Shave and a Haircut.’ You can hear Sloane yell to come in, walking in you see her sitting in a chair hemming a dress. “Need any help?” you offer secretly hoping that she would say no. “Um, not at the moment but thank you,” she smiles. “You know I can't even believe it,” she confesses. “What the wedding or the end of the world?” “Oh shut up, you know what I meant. I just can’t believe I’m getting married,” she says smiling down at her dress. “I mean I always thought and dreamt of this day and now it’s finally here. Did you feel like this?” Sloane asks looking up at you like a little kid asking for their mom’s advice. “Well truth be told no, but that’s just because Ben and I aren't romantics, unlike you and Luther,” you say playfully rolling your eyes at the last part.

“So it’s official. My ears are broken and the idiot with knives really can’t sing,” Ben says barging in on you and Sloane’s alone time, the first part making Sloane jump at his sudden appearance. “Diego. You know his name is Diego.” Caught in the middle yet again. “Maybe you should try and be nice to him and the others,” Sloane says running out of patience for Ben. “And why would I do that?” “As much as I’d love to work through your anger issues right now, I have to get back to this. The wedding is in an hour,” she exasperatedly said, patience wearing thinner by the moment. “Fei is dead,” Ben says, reminding you about half of your family being dead and you soon too. “Yeah. I know. And so are the others.” “Oh, so that's it? You’re just gonna turn your back on the Sparrow Academy? I mean you heard Dad. we have training to do. Something big is about to go down.” “Ben, shut up,” you jump in, defending Sloane. “I wish you were talking about my wedding,” Sloane says sadly. “Okay, Sloane listen to me--” “No. You listen to me. I’m sorry they didn't invite you to the bachelor party,” Sloane says ever the nicest person in the room. “I don't…I don't care about that.” “yes, you do,” you and Sloane say in sync. “You care more about being invited to the bachelor party than Fei or the others or even saving the world.” “That's--that's... That's crazy,” Ben says chuckling awkwardly and looking at the ceiling before putting the mask back on and going back to his serious leader act.

“Is it? The three of us have never been alone. It's always been the eight of us. Now it’s just you,” Sloane says, Ben scoffing at her. “So congratulations, Ben. you're finally number one of one.” Ben looks at you incredulously, “So you’re not a Sparrow anymore?” “Why would I wanna be one?” you say about to cry for the millionth time today. Ben’s face drops for a second, looking you directly in the eyes, sadness written all over his face. “You don't mean that,” he says quiet enough that Sloane can’t hear. “Maybe I do,” looking at him tears in your eyes. “What’s so damn special about them anyway?” Ben resumes the conversation with Sloane. “They’re a real family. They don't exist to sell action figures and tote bags.” “We were more than that,” Ben tries to defend. “Were we?” No, we weren't. We were only a thing to deter crime (which didnt work) and sell merch. Hell, my own wedding had merch. “Why is it so important to you to be a Sparrow?” that's what pushes Ben to leave, quickly he walks out the door just before trying to grab your hand and pull you along unsuccessfully.

Time for a wedding! Dressed all fancy in a black gown that you found in one of the abandoned hotel rooms. You haven't spoken to Ben in an hour and a half, only seeing him here for the first time in that hour and a half. “What’s the deal with them?” Klaus leans to Five and asks. “I have no idea, could be because we’re all gonna die,” Five says matter of factly. Standing next to Allison, Ben walks toward you, “You look…so fucking good,” Ben says hoping to make amends. “Thank you. You look good too,” you say smiling while taking a drink of your champagne easing yourself into your night of hard-drinking. Standing next to you Ben grabs your hand and starts playing with your fingers smiling. “Hey. I love you,” he whispers, leaning into your neck causing you to smirk. “Love you too,” you say now giving him a sip of your drink. After that Luther and Viktor arrive, “I don't know. Normally, my tush looks good,” Luther says walking out of the elevator with Viktor. As soon as they walk out Allison and Viktor are already quralling. Luther whispers something to the both of them before raising his voice, saying “Bah, bah, bah! My day! Two hours. Do you think you can manage that?” Viktor replies with a ‘fine.’

The elevator bell rings and everyone faces toward to elevator. The seconds that it takes for the doors to open are painstakingly long, making you anxious and excited to see your sister. This was the day she would meticulously plan out when you two were in your teens, documenting everything she wanted in a large binder down to the lighting, and now it's finally here; albeit at the end of the world and planned over a night and a few hours. Looking at her you smile, “Let’s get this over with before I die of cringe,” Ben interrupts the beautiful scene of Luther seeing Sloane in her dress and the sweet moment the two of you were sharing.

The marriage was ordained by Klaus who gave a very eventful but meaningful officiant speech. Sitting on the left side next to Ben, you interact whenever Klaus says something that warrants it, such as him yelling “Can I get an amen?” to which everyone except Ben makes noise. Glancing towards him he's pouting again. I’m not his fucking mom, I’m not gonna babysit him the entire night. I actually want to have a good last day. “I pronounce you married as shit! Viva la apocalypse!” Klaus yells as Sloane and Luther kiss, making the tiny crowd cheer. After watching Sloane and Luther have their first dance, you start looking at the food spread; the cookies and brownies catch your eye more than the other foods. After putting the food on your plate (and grabbing a bottle of vodka) you turn around to look where to sit. You could sit with Ben and Allison and have the joy sucked out of you or Diego and Lila and have to deal with their mushy love talk or you could sit with Five, someone who you haven't gotten to know yet.

Sitting down across from Five he looks up from his food and nods to acknowledge you. Looking back toward Allison and Ben; the latter staring at you. “So I take it things aren't going so good with Ben and you,” Five comments chowing down on a pastry on the table and taking a looong drink. “Rather not talk about that, right now I just wanna get as fucked up as possible,” you say smirking while sitting the bottle down on the table. “Okay, I have some questions,” you say watching as Five pours himself another drink. “Are you actually like a kid or is it some time-travel fuckery?” you ask the burning question that’s been on your mind since you saw him and Ben fighting. Five goes on to explain the first apocalypse and him being stuck there for 40 years and how he’s actually a 53-year-old man. “Huh. so you’re a little old man,” you say as Viktor sits down next to you.

Getting up from your seat after talking with your new in-laws, bottle in hand you walk toward Ben’s table and flop down in the seat next to him, setting the bottle between you two. The elevator bell chimes making everyone look over and see Reginald walking in, making the room so silent, even the music. Reginald walks over and gets himself a plate and starts looking for a seat. “What is he doing here?” Ben asks rhetorically. “But who invited him?” “just sit and suffer with me,” Allison says making you giggle. “I can’t even get invited to a bachelor party and he’s invited to this?” “Wow. you really can't relax,” Allison comments making you giggle again. “Y/n, are you okay?” she asks, making a confused face at you now laying your head on the table. “Oh my god, how are you already drunk?” Ben asks in disbelief. “Well you see, in my grief, I perhaps stumbled upon the open bar and perhaps may have started the celebrating earlier than the rest. I mean come on, we’re on the edge of oblivion and you people expect me not to day drink,” you say smirking “And! I’m not drunk yet.” Leaning on Ben’s shoulder, you watch how awkward the wedding has become, no one making eye contact with Reggie. The awkwardness is semi-broken by Lila and Diego, Lila wanting Diego to introduce them. Watching them was nice, Lila and Reginald actually had things in common and got to talking, impressing Diego.

After the nice moment between Lila and Reginald, Allison had gotten up leaving you and a now pouting Ben alone. Ben and you had managed to drink almost half the bottle in addition to the numerous glasses of champagne. Now you both were laying your head on the table staring at each other, Ben laying on his plate of shrimp. Klaus soon made his rounds to your table; he had been doing this all night walking from table to table and person to person trying to convince them Reggie is good now. Guess it’s our turn. “Hey, Ben-ihana and lovely little eight,” Klaus starts. “Don't hit me!” he jokes sitting down at your table. “I know we all ain’t been best buds in this timeline or whatever, but man, do I have a mission for you--” Ben interrupts him by belching verrry loudly in his face making you giggle, still laying on the table. “Eleven people,” Ben says ominously making Klaus question. “There are only eleven people left,” “Ten and a half, I’m not all here at the moment,” you say making Klaus chuckle. “Okay. Drunk Ben clearly likes numbers and… shrimp,” Klaus says still trying to recover from Ben’s shrimp burp.

“And you couldn't even invite me to your stupid bachelor party.” “Oh. Have we finally flicked off bad Benny’s hard candy shell?” Klaus says rubbing his arm. “Why don't you like me? Or us?” Ben asks making you move next to his shoulder, cheek touching his jacket looking at Klaus. “Because you’re huge puckering assholes.” “Okay, but you like the other Ben and y/n,” Ben says annoyed and clearly sad. “Yeah, we love the other yous,” Klaus says with a hint of sadness. “Why? What’s so special about them?” “Because he was a know-it-all. He was a scold. He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day,” Klaus laughs after that. “What about me? What was so special about the other me?” you ask now becoming increasingly curious and intrigued. “Oh my god, they were a pain. An emo with a preference for sulking and being pretentious in a corner. Know-it-all just like Benny,” Klaus explains about you, well the other you. “Those.. those are all bad things about us,” Ben says after looking down at his shrimp. “Yeah, and they looked great on you two.” “Okay, you know what? We are so much better than that other Ben and y/n. I was number one--” “Twice,” you interject. “And-and they ripped people’s throats out.” “Oh yeah, did that all the time in my timeline. Does Dad give a shit?” Klaus says before asking Ben. “No. he was busy hanging out with you” Ben whispers poking Klaus. “Oh, man, methinks you might be trying a little too hard. Look around. Nobody’s polishing their boots or pressing their tights. We’re a complete and total shit show. Ya get it? And our Ben and y/n, my Ben and y/n, were just that kind of disaster and it made them ridiculously easy to love,” Klaus says, sighing at the thought of his deceased siblings, before getting up to leave you two alone.

The speeches started after Klaus left and went back to Lila and Diego’s table. Reginald was first, talking about Sloane when she was little, calling Luther adequate, and talking about how he wishes that his shortcomings will be seen only as a rough patch. “I’m proud to call you my children, even those I raised in a revenant version of myself,” Reginald continues, glancing around the room before stopping on you, making you look toward Ben in disbelief. Holy shit, the man that wouldn't even acknowledge that Ben and I are married called me his child! Reggie’s speech continues and finally ends with a poem, Allison leaves making everyone look toward the walking woman. “Makes, no sense,” Ben says still eating his many shrimp as everyone starts applauding at Reginald’s newfound kindness. “All right! All right! Time to turn those frowns upside down. This one is for all my party people in the place,” the concierge turned now wedding D.J says, as everyone gets up and starts dancing on the dancefloor.

Dancing around with your new family and husband felt nice, it felt like it was just a normal wedding on a normal day. After all of the fast and upbeat songs played then started the slow songs. Arms wrapped around Ben’s neck while his arms around your waist the both of you sway drunkenly together. Looking up at him, you plant a small kiss on the end of his scar making him smile, and put his face into your neck and start kissing it. “Noooo, stop,” you say smiling and pushing him away jokingly. “No, come back here,” he says pulling you back before snuggling his face back into your neck. Leaving the dancefloor you and Ben go back to your seat. While sitting and drunkenly talking Klaus shows up and the three of you start walking around the hotel property.

Towards the end of the night Klaus, you, and Ben arrive back at the wedding noticeably more drunk than before. “Oh no no no no no!” someone shouts. “Klaus, why are you bringing Ben here?” Five asks. “Hear me out before--” “Hear him out,” you and Ben shout in sync as you take your shared cigarette away from Ben. “The brother that you all knew as Ben is gone. And not-- I don’t mean our Ben, the nice Ben. I mean this Ben, he’s gone now. The asshole, he’s gone now,” Klaus exclaims. “But that's what I liked about you, my asshole,” you say sadly looking at Ben. “Klaus, what are you talking about?” Luther asks. Klaus ignoring his question continues, “And the man that stands in front of you is new new Ben, and he’s one of us, and he’s a member of the team. And he’s part of the family!” Ben and Klaus shout the last statement in unison. “And as a welcome gift, I suggest we throw him off the roof,” Five says making you laugh. “Ha! They like me more!” you gloat at Ben. “Yeah, I’ll help,” Diego agrees with Five. “You know what. You know what. He can stay. He can stay,” Luther says. “And baby eight?” Klaus says holding your shoulders and giving puppy eyes. “They’ve been welcome to stay,” Diego says making you smile as you walk over with Klaus and Ben.

Almost as soon as you sit down everyone starts heading to bed. Standing up you pull Ben along with you, “I’m ‘sleepy’ if you get my meaning,” you say to Ben too loudly. Taking a moment to understand what you meant, Ben then realizes it, “huh? Sleepy? But-- Oh!” he says before speed walking with you toward to elevator.

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#masterlist #ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow!ben x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #tua x reader #umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy spoilers #ben hargreeves imagine

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abessive-art · 2 years ago

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Holy fuck every single character becomes so genuine and interesting. This thing’s emotional and Inter character conflicts put other modern shows to ABSOLUTE shame like.

I feel insane saying this but I am being sincere here. Which is wild for a show that has so little actual time to tell a story, eps are short man!! But the emotional gut punches are hitting me all the same!!

Ouhhh just got to Monkie kid season 3 first ep and this shit is so good please please plEASE tell me it’s still going and hasn’t been suddenly cancelled or something I’m begging

#WAGHHHHHH DONT TALK TO ME IM ON THE THIRD SEASON OF MONKIE KID #I’m fine and normal about stuff I watch I swear I swear #but this shit is fucking wild to me #this is the same series whose first season I compared to “teen titans go but with gourmet animation #the fuckinG GLOW UP???? THE AUDACITY???#I am telling y’all I am struggling to find a SINGLE character I don’t like by now #I feel like I’m injecting good writing and gorgeous animation directly into my bloodstream #someone sold their soul for this. someone did.#monkie kid #taelks

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sl-ut · 3 years ago

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i wanna be your girlfriend

PART FIVE

pairing: rue bennett x reader, rue bennett x jules vaughn, jules vaughn x reader (platonic), oc!piper x reader (mentioned)

description: rue and y/n are working on their friendship, but they soon realise that a broken friendship is much harder to fix when they both have feelings for each other. y/n and jules come to a disagreement.

warnings: canonical warnings; drug/substance abuse, sex, nudity, swearing, etc, etc. jules slander (not sorry), y/n is pretty bitchy (but not wrong)

words: 2.8K

date posted: 07/02/22

omg y’all don’t even know how fucking long this took me and how many times i rewrote this! it’s been almost two weeks since the last chapter, and i really am trying to get more chapters done more frequently, but i would also love love LOVE to diversify my blog a bit more by branching out into other fandoms. nearly all of my requests rn are for euphoria, and as much as i love them and will be working on them soon, i would love to see some other fandoms thrown in. just send a request, and if i know the fandom then i would love to do it, and if not i’ll try my best lol. ily all and tysm for all of the support on this series!!!!

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The opinion that Halloween was objectively the best holiday was a hill that Y/n was willing to die on. She used to tell me that it was all about the candy, and I’m sure that for a time, she truly believed that. But as we got older and the costumes became more emphasised on tighter fabrics and low necklines, the idea of Halloween changed for her in a jarringly drastic way.

Instead of chasing a high that came only with a lethal amount of sugar, Y/n sought the comfort that came with shedding her own skin and becoming someone else for just one night. For her first high school Halloween party in freshman year, she went as “Oops! … I Did It Again” Britney, and after two shots of tequila and a Four Loko, Y/n no longer felt like she was wearing a costume, but like she was now in her truest form. Each and every Britney song that played (which was quite a few once Y/n found out who was controlling the AUX cord) was performed on the coffee table with not one ounce of energy wasted. The next morning, Britney was laid to rest and Y/n was revived. The next year, she was Black Widow, and once again, her normal persona disappeared into that of the Russian spy’s. I wasn’t sure what I could expect from Y/n every year once Halloween rolled around, but with how secretive she was actually being about it this year, I was actually starting to get a little scared.

Things were going relatively well between Y/n and I, all things considered. I guess you could say that we sort of went back to how it was at the beginning of the summer, with the additional awkwardness of less than platonic feelings, my sobriety, and whatever the fuck was going on with Jules.

The weeks following the carnival were, to be completely frank, really fucking weird. Nate Jacob’s suspension and potential arrest shook the school to its core, and Jules had been relatively scarce ever since, and when she actually bothered to show up, she was much touchier than usual, especially when I had anything to say about the whole “she fucked Nate’s dad” situation. Additionally, Y/n and I had barely gotten to spend any time together as we had planned, so all-in-all, I was having a terrible time.

“Hang outs have to be twice throughout the week and once on the weekend, minimum,” Y/n stressed, “And that doesn’t include groups, like Jules and Piper. Just us.”

Y/n had struck up several conditions as to what they should do in order to restore their friendship, and though they weren’t exactly unreasonable, it was just strange for her to be so uptight with Rue.

“Sounds fair,” Rue hummed, “But I have a condition of my own.”

“And what’s that?”

She smirked over at Y/n, already anticipating the reaction that she was about to get from her oh-so-controversial opinion, “No Megan Fox movies, seriously.”

“Rue, I swear to God, you better be fucking joking right now.”

These hangouts seemed to be pretty limited to whenever we could see each other outside of school, which was averaging out to be twenty minutes between the time the school ended until she would eventually answer Maddy’s call and go over to her place. Not to mention, most of the time that we did have together in school was always interrupted by Piper’s constant need to be feeling Y/n up at every given moment.

The week leading up to Halloween changed. Y/n’s time was suddenly all freed up, claiming that Maddy had decided on taking some ‘alone time,’ and suddenly, most of our afternoons were spent together, which, strangely enough, was around the same time that Jules was officially MIA. Anyone else would almost feel like they were just swapping them out for one another, and to be quite honest, I like the consistency of having just one person to worry about, though I had to admit that it was nice to hang out with Y/n and not have to listen to her drone on and on about some guy she met online.

Jules reemerged on Friday of that week, just in time for Halloween. I wasn’t entirely sure how it would play out with both Y/n and Jules together, especially considering that the last time they really interacted with each other, both of them were both pretty bitchy.

Something felt off about that Halloween, though. I’d gone to the party that Saturday night with Jules, Kat, Cassie, and Lexi, and all things considered, each of them were acting pretty fucking strange. Y/n, for some reason, really enjoyed handing out candy to the few trick-or-treaters that came to her place, and planned to meet us there, and I’m not sure that anything could have prepared me to see her walk in the front door as–

“Officer Judy Hopps!” Lexi shouted as she spotted Y/n.

“Reporting for duty!” She saluted the infamous painter, “Glad to see you could make it, Mr. Ross.”

Looking back on it, I don’t know how Y/n and Lexi have gone so long without hanging out on their own.

“Who?”

“Oh, come on, Rue. Zootopia?” Y/n placed her hands on her hips and did a small twirl, shaking her bum to show off the small cotton tail attached to the back of her shorts, “Don’t say you haven’t watched it.”

Rue pursed her lips and glanced over at Kat, who shook her head, “Uh, no.”

“Well then, thank you, Lexi. For making me not feel like I’m crazy.”

“Hey, if it's any consolation, you do look really hot.” Kat offered as she slid a red cup across the counter to her.

“You know what, I’ll take it.”

Y/n turned to Rue, smiling up at the taller girl as she lifted the cup to her lips, “Where’s Jules? I thought you said you two were coming together?”

“Well, not like together together, but…” Rue glanced around the kitchen of the large house, shrugging, “I don’t really know. She’s around here somewhere.”

Rue wanted to say that she was able to pick up on a small look of relief on Y/n’s face, her heart skipping a beat at the notion of Y/n being glad that she and Jules were not together. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she tilted her head back to swallow the contents of the red cup before she threw it aside, fingers wrapping around Rue’s wrist as she pulled her out of the kitchen and into the busy living room.

“What are you doing?” Rue watched as the girl whirled around, tugging her close enough that their chests touched as she began moving her limbs wildly to the beat of the music.

“Dancing, what does it look like?”

“Honestly?” Rue laughed, “It looks like you’re having a seizure.”

Y/n’s head tilted backwards as she let out a loud chuckle, though her bizarre movements did not falter. Instead, one of her hands interlocked with Rue’s, swinging her arm with enough force to cause her entire body to begin shifting from side to side until eventually, Rue began to copy her motions on her own. The two girls remained like that for what felt like hours, swaying in close proximity to one another, cheesy grins across their faces as their bodies moved against one another.

Rue raised Y/n’s hand over her head, twirling her around repeatedly and gasping out a laugh as their bodies were forcefully pressed together as Y/n struggled to keep her balance. Y/n grinned up at Rue, winding her arms around her slim waist as they continued to rock back and forth. For the first time in a very long time, it felt as if nothing had ever happened. Their eyes remained locked on one another’s as they swayed, foreheads touching as they leaned closer.

Y/n gulped, parting her lips as her breath quickened. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt so close to Rue. Even before she went to Maui and Rue was put in rehab, there was a period of time where things just felt different between them, where Y/n put a bit more effort into how she looked when she was with her, the way she snuggled so much closer while they lay in her bed at night. She hadn’t even noticed the shift in dynamic until she thought of Rue during one of her typical hookups, and even almost let her name fall from her lips as she tipped over the edge into ecstasy. Rue was like a drug to Y/n, and she hadn’t truly acknowledged how intense the withdrawals were until that moment. None of the other women made her feel the way that she did when she was with Rue, not even those who she had genuinely believed herself to like. Her eyes stung and became visibly glassy as she stared up at Rue, relishing in the whispery breaths that brushed against her warm cheeks.

“Rue…”

A third body slammed into the two of them, long, slim arms wrapping around their shoulders as they were forced out of their embrace, “Hey, guys!”

Jules was drunk, there was no denying it. Her body was unsteady as her fingers gripped into both Y/n and Rue’s shoulders for support, and her rosy cheeks were starkly contrasting against her otherwise pale flesh and bleach blonde hair. Y/n stumbled slightly as Jules shifted her weight against her, struggling for a moment to keep them both on their feet.

Rue’s face exposed the mixture of emotions that had struck her at the sight of her friend; Confusion, concern, disappointment… The corners of her lips tugged downwards, and in that moment, it dawned on Y/n how difficult it must be for Rue to be near so many different substances that were readily available for her consumption, and yet here she was, completely sober, and until just then, she didn’t even seem to be minding it all that much.

“Oh, hey Jules,” Y/n braced a hand against her back, “You doing okay?”

“Totally,” She slurred, “I just wanna party! Come on, Rue!”

Discomfort was clear on Rue’s face as Jules waved a red cup around in front of her, meeting Y/n’s concerned gaze over Jules’ shoulder.

“Rue, do you maybe wanna go grab her some water? I can stay with her.”

Rue nodded, pushing her way through the crowd frantically in the direction of the kitchen, leaving the two girls on their own. Jules stumbled slightly at the lack of support on her left side, red liquid sloshing over the side of the cup and dripping down the front of her long white dress.

“Jules, I’m not usually the one to rain on someone else's parade, but I really think you need to take it easy right now, for Rue’s sake.”

Jules chuckled humourlessly, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

“Since when have you been doing things for Rue’s sake? Cause you definitely weren’t thinking about her anytime up until now. I knew I didn’t like you for a reason, I just didn’t realise that you were so fucking selfish.”

Y/n reached out, snatching the cup from her and dumping the contents out onto the floor behind her carelessly before she let the cup clatter onto the floor.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m selfish? You’re the one throwing liquor around in front of your so-called best friend, who’s a recovering addict.”

“You don’t get to say that to me,” Jules stumbled forward to sneer at the other girl, “You don’t know a fucking thing about me, so don’t ever tell me what to fucking do.”

Normally, anyone else would have had a broken nose for talking to Y/n like that, but this wasn’t just anyone, this was Jules. She would never admit to it, but I always knew that she put up with her simply to avoid upsetting me.

“You’re right, I don’t know a fucking thing about you, and honestly, I’d rather keep it that way, but we both know that this shit isn’t easy on Rue. You’re being a really bad fucking friend right now, man.”

“Fuck you.”

Jules shoved her away, storming through the crowd and completely ignoring Rue as she called after her. Rue turned to Y/n with a questioning stare.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I just tried to get her to sober up.”

Rue shook her head, “Something’s wrong with her, I can feel it.”

Y/n ran her hand over the back of Rue’s suit jacket comfortably, scanning the crowd for the tall blonde. She easily spotted her across the room with Kat, who appeared her normal level of tipsy. She pointed her out to the brunette, who seemed comforted at the fact that she wasn’t just stumbling around on her own, though her body quickly tensed up as her eyes fell on the familiar frame of her younger sister, slumped into the couch next to the same kid who’d gotten her high at the carnival.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Y/n weaved through the crowd in an attempt to keep up with Rue’s rapid pace, almost slamming into her back as she came to a sudden halt in front of the couch.

“What are you doing here?” Gia sat up straighter, eyes shifting between her older sister and the girl standing just next to her.

“What am I doing here?” Rue scoffed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Y/n recognized the boy as one of Chris McKay’s younger brothers, though she couldn’t decipher which of the twins he was.

“Getting lit,” He grinned up at the pair, tauntingly.

“I’ll deal with your ass later,” Rue turned to him with a dark look in her brown eyes, “Get up.”

“What?”

“I said get the fuck up.”

In hindsight, it may not have been my best idea to interrogate some prick who was trying to get into my baby sister’s pants with the two most ridiculously dressed people at the party. I’m sure that my intimidation attempt was slightly foiled at the sight of Officer Bunny behind me, though anyone with a single brain cell knew well enough to be kind of scared when an addict threatens to sic her addict friends on them.

Rue and Y/n watched in amusement as the boy, who they had learned was Troy, scrambled over to Gia, glancing over his shoulder at the pair of them every few moments. They shared a soft fist bump as Gia’s face lit up in glee as he began to flood her with compliments.

“Do you wanna get some air?”

Rue nodded, and allowed Y/n to lead the way through the living room and out through the large sliding doors that led out to the pool deck. The pair found an unoccupied loveseat on the opposing side of the pool, and quickly sunk into the soft cushions.

“You okay?”

Rue let out a shuddered breath, shrugging her shoulders as she leaned into Y/n’s warm embrace, “Fine.”

“Do you wanna go home?” She whispered, “I didn’t even think about how hard it actually is for you to be here until I saw Jules.”

She shrugged, “It’s fine.”

The pair fell quiet for a few moments, basking in the comfortable silence that came so easily to them.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Rue tilted her head to stare up at her with furrowed brows.

“That I wasn’t there for you. I can’t believe that I just let our friendship go so easily.” Y/n muttered, “I blamed you for so long, I even wanted to hate you for just ghosting me, but I didn’t fight for us either, and I can never tell you how sorry I am for that.”

Rue leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Y/n’s gently, not breaking eye contact, “You don’t have to apologise. I think both of us know that it was me who really fucked everything up. The drugs, the lying, that text…”

Y/n frowned, “Don’t apologise for the text, please. An apology is a shitty way to admit that you didn’t mean it.”

Rue watched her for several moments, scanning her face for any sort of humour. Not finding any, Rue inched forward just an inch, ghosting her lips over Y/n’s for a brief moment before finally laying a gentle kiss on the soft flesh. Both girls grinned widely as they pulled away, faces hot with blush.

“Okay. I won’t.”

MY WORK IS, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, TO BE REPOSTED OR SHARED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING SHARED, SO IF YOU SEE ANOTHER ACCOUNT POSTING MY CONTENT PLS LET ME KNOW.

tags: @ariianelle @charliesdaze @imdumbhi @a-wimpy-kids-musings @supmydudeswheresthedepression @7thavenger @paetonnn @buckysjuicyplums @babadowie

(willing to tag anyone else in this series, but i will not be maintaining any major taglists for the rest of my work)

#rue bennett #female reader #imagines #reader insert #x reader #euphoria #hbo euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria imagine #rue bennet x reader #rue bennet icons #rue bennet #rue bennett imagine #euphoria season 2

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nastybuckybarnes · 4 years ago

Text

In a Heartbeat - Epilogue

Pairing: Fireman!Bucky X Reader

Summary: You’ve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you don’t exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you don’t plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.

Warnings: Angst, Language, Minor Fluff

Word Count: 1.2K

A/n: Grande finale! Oof plz don’t kill me but it’s so cute I loved writing this series so much and low-key I’m sad it’s over but it was so fun to write. If y’all have any ideas for anything you want me to write in the future, send em my way!

Series Masterlist

~*~

The wind is crisp, biting at the exposed skin of his face, his fingers.

He doesn’t mind too much though.

The sky is gloomy, like it might rain later in the day. The clouds are a deep grey colour and there's sorrow on the wind. He can’t help but feel like it’s fitting.

“I uh, I’m not sure what to say, I guess. Bonnie said it would be good to come swing by for a little while but uh I’m not sure if she was right.” His voice is shaky and he closes his eyes, hating the silence that meets him.

“I got you flowers. Didn’t wanna get roses cause it didn’t feel right, so I got you some carnations. Nat said that they last a while too which is nice. They’re real pretty. A light yellow type. Maybe peach is a better description of the colour but-” he cuts himself off with a laugh, shaking his head.

“Here I am, trying to describe the colour of the flowers to you when I’m sure you’ve got other things you wanna hear about.”

Deep breath in, deep breath out, just like the two of you always practiced.

“She uh, she turns two in a few weeks, but you know that. I don’t know if I can do it though. Not without you.”

A cold drop of water splashes against his cheek and it’s only then that he notices the warm tears falling down his face.

“I miss you, doll. Every day it feels like it gets harder, and Bonnie says that’s normal, but I don’t know. I feel like it should get easier with time.” He huffs a breath and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Doesn’t help that Beccs is the spitting image of her mom, that’s for damn sure. But you knew that from the first moment you laid eyes on her. You were all smug about it too, said you gave her all the good genes.” He chuckles softly and shrugs his shoulders, “you were right about that.”

He stuffs his free hand into his pocket, rocking back on his heels and trying not to break down right then and there.

“She’s beautiful, (Y/n). Absolutely gorgeous. She’s stubborn, just like you. Real talkative too. I asked Steve when to expect this kinda stuff but he says each kid develops at a different speed.” He clenches his jaw tightly, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I miss you so fucking much. So damn much. I wish... fuck...” He stops, wiping away the tears and leaning his head back to allow the rain to clear his thoughts.

“I wish you were here. This whole ‘parenting’ gig would be a lot easier if you were here to do it with me. I feel like I can never do it right. And Beccs needs her mom. She’s got Nat, but she needs you.” He sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, doll, I swear. I just... I can't keep it in. I feel like a failure. I need your help.” His bottom lip trembles and he makes the split-second decision not to hide it. No, he opens the floodgates and he lets the tears fall.

“Her uh, her favourite word is still ‘mama’. Got her sayin’ ‘dada’ though. And she absolutely adores Tommy. That’s her partner in crime.” He chuckles once, thinking about how the two interact.

A fresh wave of sorrow washes over him and he drops his head, looking down at the ground and letting out a shaky breath.

“I uh, I still can’t sleep in our bed. Steve says I should try but... I can’t. I need you there and I can’t sleep without you. I stay on the couch most nights. Nat gets worried but I think I’m okay. Yeah... I think I’ll be okay.” He lets out another pained breath then shakes his head and falls to his knees, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

“I miss you. I fucking miss you so much. And some days it just hits me so damn hard that I’ll never see your smile o-or hear you laugh. You won't be there t-to see Becca on her wedding day... you won’t hold your grandchildren... you won’t be there when she graduates and we won’t grow old together. No, you won’t see me all gross and wrinkled and old and you won’t tease me when I can barely lift my own damn body. Fuck, I’d give anything to have you back. I would give absolutely anything to see you again. I miss you so much and it’s so hard to live without you.”

He puts his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with sobs as he finally lets himself break.

And break, he does.

He shatters there on that gloomy Thursday morning, heart out for the gods to see, to pick apart. He bears his goddamn soul and he cries. He sobs and he all but screams out his sorrows.

It’s agony.

Living without you has been the hardest thing he’s ever done.

He’d lose his arm ten times over if it meant he could see you again.

When you died you took a piece of him with you, and he knows he’ll never get it back.

“I love you, Doll. So damn much. To the fucking moon and back.”

He kneels there for a long time, long enough for the rain to come and go, the sun peeking through the clouds and the birds emerging from their hiding spots.

He kneels there until his tears have run dry and his heart has stopped aching, his shoulders lighter even if the bags under his eyes are heavier.

“Daddy!” He glances over his shoulder, a wet smile spreading on his face as Rebecca bounds over to him clumsily.

He opens his arms and she runs straight into them, giggling madly and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Do you wanna give mommy the flowers this time?” He asks, handing her the bouquet of carnations. She nods eagerly, sliding out of his grip and gently placing the flowers down in front of the headstone.

“Love you, mommy,” she says quietly, pressing a kiss to the polished granite.

A gentle hand pats Bucky on the shoulder, and he looks up at the source.

Nat stands over his shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

“You’ve been here for a while. Thought we should come check up on you.” He nods, pushing himself to his feet and taking a deep breath.

“I’m okay now. Therapist said I should really talk to her, not just... lay down the flowers.” Natasha nods, pulling the man into a hug.

“We all miss her, it’s okay.” Bucky huffs out a breath, trying to fight the tears but they fall anyway.

“I want one too!” Rebecca exclaims, tugging on his pant leg. He chuckles and pulls away from Nat to pick up his daughter, holding her tightly to his chest and trying with all his might to keep it together, if only for her.

“C’mon. Let’s go get ice cream. My treat,” Nat says, ruffling Becca’s hair then leading the way to her car.

Bucky follows after, pausing for a moment and glancing over his shoulder, eyes tracing over the writing carved into the stone.

(Y/n) (Y/m/n) Barnes.

Beloved Mother, Daughter, Wife, and Friend.

Always on our minds.

Forever in our hearts.

~*~

Fin

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adorethedistance · 4 years ago

Text

Come Over? - FWB!Reader x Luke Patterson (18+)

JATP masterlist

Kinda requested: I was just asked to write another Luke smut. lol.

Words: 2665

Warnings: NSFW!! this is a heavy smut, 18+, swearing, a fight/confrontation

Summary: It doesn’t matter if it’s with Luke Patterson, having a friends with benefits relationship is a bad idea. Someone is bound to get hurt. In this case, it’s you, and Luke will have to make sure you know just how much you mean to him.

A/N: I cannot believe I just wrote a 5 page (SINGLE SPACED) smut for y’all’s h*rny asses. It was gonna be longer but the longer I worked on it the more I hated it so here's this version. Hope you enjoy, I’m working on a fluff next probably with Owen.

Come over?

It’s crazy how two simple words can consume my every thought for hours on end. I keep telling myself to stop giving in to Luke, and that I was done with our arrangement. How long has it been? Not that long, just the start of senior year. A few months maybe. Luke and I agreed at the end of Freshman year that if we were both still virgins by the time we turned 18, we’d lose our virginities to each other. I thought he was joking until the clock struck midnight on his birthday, and I received the first of what would be a series of “come over?” texts. I didn’t know they would become recurring messages.

Sure but can we talk first?

I didn’t mean to catch feelings but it all just happened so fast. It’s hard not to fall for someone who’s extremely attractive, talented, bound for success, funny, and... well endowed for lack of a better, non-vulgar term. It’s hard to ignore the warm feeling I get when he’s got his fingers in my mouth, and he’s calling me his “good girl” while he coaxes another orgasm out of me for the third time that night.

What’s up?

My friends have told me hook ups and friends with benefits situations always end in someone getting hurt. Like most of my mistakes, I’d gone against my better judgement and done it anyways. Maybe I’m an idiot for letting myself fall in love with my best friend, or maybe I’m an idiot for ever making a pact like that in the first place. Regardless, I fell, and I’m bound to get hurt.

We’ll talk when I get there. Give me 15 min

Hitting send on that text prompts me to collect my things. Bag, keys, license, condoms, and spare clothes. I shaved last night, I have deodorant on, I’m wearing a cute set. I just need to tell my parents I’m sleeping over at Luke’s. We’ve been friends since we were born, so my parents don’t think us still having sleepovers in senior year is sus, thank god. Luke only lives a couple streets down, but since I have to leave from his house in the morning I decided to drive. Sitting in my car, I’m more nervous than I was for the first time we’d ever fucked. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel to a rhythm of my own invention before switching off the engine. I just have to be strong; tell him we can’t do this anymore. Should I tell him before we do anything? Is it manipulative to do it after? What should I do?

Dude stop talking to yourself and come in already

Looking up to Luke’s bedroom window, I see him pull an impatient face at me before disappearing. No going back now. I grab my bag, lock my car, and I’m just about to step onto the porch when the front door swings open.

“I was starting to think you were gonna bail on me,” he teases. I puff out a fake laugh, and right as the door closes behind me, Luke’s kissing and biting along the contour of my jaw bone. I don’t respond as I normally do, and he’s immediately off put by my distracted demeanor. “You okay?”

“We need to talk.”

“Yes… you’ve already said that.” We stare at each other in silence. Luke looks at me expectantly as I am the one who brought it up.

“I uhm…”

“You’re being super weird, Y/n,” he speaks up after a long pause, “did something happen?”

“We can’t do this anymore. After tonight, that is.” Luke is surprised by my statement, and it becomes abundantly clear that that possibility had never crossed his mind.

“...Why? What happened?” I didn’t think this far ahead! I can’t just say I’m in love with him!

“Nothing happened.” “Then why can’t we do this anymore? Did you… have you met someone?”

“No!” I jump in much too defensively, “No, I haven’t met anyone.”

“What’s going on with you, Y/n? We don’t keep shit from each other. You know that.”

“I know.” “Why can’t you just tell me?!” He’s growing upset, rightfully so, but that doesn’t keep me from boiling over as well.

“I don’t have to justify myself to you!”

“I at least deserve an explanation!”

“You don’t deserve shit from me! God, you’re such a fucking idiot.”

Silence fills the Patterson house.

“I’m a fucking idiot for wanting to know why we can’t hook up anymore?” “Luke, I-”

“Just stop.”

“No, really, I-” “Save it, Y/n! I don’t want to hear it.”

“Please, let me-”

“Just go!”

“I LOVE YOU!” I didn’t want to scream but it was the only way he would hear it.

“What?”

“I am in love with you, Luke. And that’s why I can’t do this anymore!” I sigh out a curse when I realize what I’m about to do next. “In the heat of the moment, you always call me baby or princess, and I pretend to hate it but truth is I think about it for WEEKS after you’ve said it. You don’t understand the kind of hold that your words have on my heart, and I can’t do this anymore because I know you don’t feel the same way.”

Luke stares blankly for a second before growing angry. He doesn’t speak. Instead, he marches past me, into his bedroom. I expect the slam of the door like he always does when he’s mad, but when it never comes I follow to find out what he’s doing. When I step through the doorway, I find Luke tearing his closet apart. What is he looking for?

“Luke?” He’s grumbling to himself a passive-aggressive remark that I can’t make out.

“Get on the bed. Now.” He commands without even looking at me.

“No, I-” “That wasn’t a question.” I decide to obey, and set my bag down at the foot of the bed. Sitting in the center of the bed, I look up to try and figure out what he’s looking so intently for. I don’t see what he grabs, but he stands up and approaches the bed.

“You think I don’t feel the same way about you?”

“Why should I? You’ve given me no inkling-” “I wasn’t really asking, but since you think I’ve given you no clue as to whether or not I feel the same way, I’ll just have to show you.” My breathing shallows,

“H-how?”

“Y/n, how many times have you been able to have consecutive orgasms?” He seemingly ignores my question. “Never…?”

Luke purses his lips, and nods with furrowed brows, his hands busy unlocking a dark colored wooden box.

“Okay,” when he finally gets the box open, he places his hands down on the bed on either side of it, and looks into my eyes, “I can fix that.”

My mouth runs dry in shock.

“I don’t know if I can-” “I’m sorry, what part of ‘I didn’t ask’ don’t you understand?” His patience is running thin and I shut myself up in response. Luke places the box off to the side, holding a neck tie between his calloused fingers.

“Strip.” I comply and remove my shirt, but Luke stops me before I can remove my bra. “Lay down.”

“What are you doing?” He doesn’t reply. He doesn’t speak or even look at me. Instead, he grabs my both wrists in one of his larger hands, and begins to tie a soft rope around them. Once my hands are bound together he prompts me to tug at the restraint. My inability to escape is satisfactory enough, and he retreats back to the foot of the bed.

“Judging by your reaction, you clearly lack the willpower to endure consecutive orgasms. This is just a little precaution to make sure I achieve my goal.”

Cradling my body in his larger hands, Luke kisses my soft lips gently. The way he’s kissing me is somewhere between desperate to have more of me, and hyper-cautious of taking anything. Luke slips his hands down my waist and over my hips. He breaks our kiss to pull my shorts down over my legs, tossing them carefully into the floor. Looking back up he inhales on a hiss upon seeing the lace floral panties I wore.

“These new?” He looks into my eyes, tracing his fingertip over the waistband.

“Are you actually asking this time?” Luke laughs at my question for clarification before snapping the elastic against my skin.

“Easy there. You’re not in any position to get sassy with me young lady.”

“I’m literally older than you.” Luke exhales a humorless laugh with his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek.

“Okay. I see how it’s gonna be.” Luke retrieves something from the box on the corner of the bed.

“What the fuck does that mean? You know, if you’re trying to be intimidating maybe-” I cut myself off due to a huge gasp that’s torn through my body. Luke had grabbed a vibrator and switched it on right as he pressed it into my clit, over my panties. I let out several short sighs and moans against my will, soaking in the vibrations.

“Jesus. If I had known the off switch for that mouth of yours was your clit, I would’ve taken advantage of that ages ago.” I can tell he’s smirking larger than life, but I’m in no state to quip back. The sensation has consumed all rational thought and all negative emotion. Just as I’m getting adjusted to the vibrations, Luke switches off the toy. I whine loudly and involuntarily.

“Oh, come on princess. Don’t you want these off?” He hooks a finger under the elastic band, against the skin where my thigh meets my hip. I nod furiously and Luke slides the material all the way down my legs.

“That’s better, yeah?” Why he’s being so sweet instead of teasing, I’m unclear.

“You got this wet from just a few seconds of the vibrator?” And there it is. I can feel the heat of a blush crawling across the surface of my skin. Luke presses my knees apart, and draws a single fingertip through my arousal, rubbing it over my entire pussy. He then switches the toy back on, and presses the object directly onto the sensitive pearl. My entire body shudders in response to the pleasure.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive,” he holds the toy against me and I whine. Luke evilly kicks up the vibrations from low to high which leaves me gasping for air. Shockwaves of pleasure and adrenaline disrupt the patterns of my breathing, and I can’t keep myself from spewing a long line of profanities.

“Luke please, I-”

“I know. Shh it’s okay, just relax into it.” I nod in place of a verbal response as I feel myself climbing higher and higher. I’m so worked up, it’s embarrassing how quickly I’ve reached my high.

“Fuck,” I whisper after a few seconds of hovering over the edge. My abdomen starts convulsing and the tidal wave-like orgasm consumes my entire nervous system. I begin to come down from my first orgasm, but Luke isn’t letting up. He’s pressed the toy firmly against my sensitive heat. I squeal and try to push him away with my bound hands.

Luke continues to hold the vibrations to my aching clit and a second orgasm is forced over my body. My throat has gone dry due to my labored panting; a strangled yell claws its way through my vocal chords. Involuntary spasms tear through my abdomen for the second time, and only after the forced orgasm does Luke take the vibrator off.

“Good girl,” he coos, brushing away the strands of hair that were stuck to my face from sweat. I’m still incapable of forming words through my heavy breathing, but the rush of endorphins causes me to laugh. A full genuine laugh. Luke looks up confused but amused and begins to laugh along.

“Oh my god!” I sigh whilst still recovering.

“Is that what you needed? You just needed me to vibe the negative energy out of you?”

“Shut up!” I laugh, looking up to the ceiling. He’s got band posters all over the walls, but the Blink-182 Enema of the State album cover is the one he chose to be directly above the bed. Awesome.

“Untie me you bastard.” Luke laughs and carefully undoes the knot, slipping the restraint off of my wrists. He re-ties it to keep it from getting tangled, and tucks it back into the mystery box.

“Luke, I don’t think I can handle any more,” I smile behind a sigh as I push myself up off the bed. He sets the toy down and looks me in the eyes.

“Really?” I nod in response. “Well, I think you’ve got one more in you.” Before I can put up any feeble attempt of a fight, Luke pushes me back down onto the bed. He crawls up to my face, resting a toned arm on the headboard.

“You’re gorgeous when you’re overstimulated,” he then leans down to press a heated kiss on my lips. Grazing my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, Luke pulls it into his mouth to bite down, and then presses a gentle kiss to the afflicted area. Pulling back, Luke’s eyes lock with mine and he flashes me a sly but genuine smile.

“What?”

He doesn’t respond. Instead he slides down to press loving kisses against the skin of my stomach, working his way downward. Luke settles himself between my legs, placing a kiss on the surface of both of my hip bones. Rolling the skin between his teeth, Luke leaves symmetrical love bites on both sides. He continues his trail of hickeys down across my inner thighs before the teasing becomes too much.

“Luke, I can’t-”

“I know, I know.” He quiets my chirping, by placing one last kiss right above where I need him most. Then, he moves down to lick a single pass over my pulsing hole, up over the entire area. The gasp that follows is beyond my control. In acknowledgement of my sensitivity, Luke leans down to thread his arms under my thighs, cradling my pelvis in his hands. As he flicks his tongue over my swollen clit, I feel him hold my hips tighter to keep me from squirming.

“Oh, fuck,” I groan, and tangle my hands into his brown hair. When I tilt my head back against his pillows in ecstasy, I can feel him smirk against me. The consistent rhythm of his tongue over my clit pulls me closer to another high; then, I moan Luke’s name as he sucks the enlarged bud between his teeth, where he continues to flick his tongue over the surface.

Once again the sensational pleasure is becoming too much. I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes. I try my hardest not to openly sob, I really do, but the feeling is too great. Through blurred vision I look down to see the most erotic sight of the evening: Luke’s arms hooked onto my lower half holding me still, his lips wrapped around my overworked and oversensitive pearl, and his sparkling hazel eyes peering back up into mine.

I’m dumbstruck by the sight, and consequently reach the peak of my high, hovering for a blissful moment before crashing down abruptly. I’m convulsing and squirming and practically crying, but Luke hasn’t let up. He’s continuing his assault on my poor clit. I try to get away, uselessly pushing at Luke’s much stronger arms and head.

“Luke, please stop, it’s too much, I can’t-” tears of euphoria slide down both of my temples, and upon seeing this state of desperation, Luke takes his lips off of me with a salacious pop.

“Still don’t think I feel the same way?” he asks in an increasingly pointed manner.

“I believe you.”

***

JATP taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @heartbreakcurve @dream-a-little-bigger-x

Luke/Charlie taglist: @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6

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puckngrind · 3 years ago

Text

Leave Her Wild: Chapter 19 - N. MacKinnon

Summary: MacKenzie and Nate attempt to handle the pause and pandemic

Warnings: smut, swearing, human emotion, mention of injury, pandemic....

Word count: 3,437

Series masterlist / Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

Together.

“Are we even supposed to be hangin’ out y’all?” Remy’s voice echos off the walls of Kenzie’s hall as he kicks off his shoes and makes his way into the living space. Kenzie just looks up at him from her cocoon of blankets with a smile.

“Would ya shut up and sit down already?” Mosi lifts up the wine glass to place in his hand. Remy finds some wall space and slithers to the ground. Drew and Nate emerge from the kitchen with plates of cheese, fruits and meats.

“This isn’t Gus’s pizza that’s for sure.” Drew mumbled then eyes Kenzie as Nate wedges himself between her and the end of the couch.

“They don’t know when they can open again. I miss them too and are worried this may be what shuts them down for good.” Kenzie leans into Nate who she can hear holding his breath. “I am trying to find a way to help…”

“We know.” Nate whispers in her ear then clears his throat to address the room. “So, Kenz and I have been talking and if the quarantine, lock down, pause, whatever the hell it is called keeps happening we thought it would be best for all us if we do it together.” Nate pauses and flexes his muscles into Kenzie.

“Oh, yeah.” She looks back at him. “So if it becomes an issue where we physically need to stay together, you all can stay here. If ya want. We have this couch, the guest bed, and a blow up mattress. We can make it work.” Kenzie looks at her friends all nodding in agreement.

“I’m calling the couch!” Drew shouts with a pat to the cushion. “Only surface I know you two haven’t screwed on.” The burst of laughter rang through the living room.

"So everyone knows about your rule then?" Nate closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"Yuppers. Mac's rules applies to all those who inhabit the space." Mosi tips her glass towards Drew.

"Oh, and we thought about adding Tyson to this group. He's single and his family is in Canada." Nathan chimed in.

"Single, huh?" Remy's creole accent thick insinuating more.

"That's a good idea." Mosi agrees with a sip of her wine. “Some of us could stay at his place I’m sure.”

"We are still pretending here I see?" Drew tips his glass towards Mosi and sips his wine in a gulp.

"I don't know what you mean by that." Mosi snips.

“You know.” Drew starts.

"Stop you two. Josty is in. Nate text him about it later, kay?" Kenzie's voice was stern. "We are all on edge being at home and the total unknown but we need to stay together. Let's eat and watch a movie. Pretend this is a normal Easter.”

"So we've decided who the mom sha is dare?" Remy smirks.

"I may need a Remy dictionary if his accent gets any thicker." Nate's face contorted.

"And you work with how many men from different parts of the world?" Mosi chuckles.

The friends banter back and forth for awhile before settling in for a movie. Kenzie falling asleep on Nathan's chest before half way into the movie. She was only woken up by Nate's hand slipping up her back. She hummed at the sensation.

"No sex on the couch Naters." Kenzie mumbled out. Nate laughed.

"We are in bed and I'm just taking off your bra so you can sleep comfortably." Nate kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep, Kenz." Nate pulled the covers over her and walked around to the other side of the bed.

"Thank you." Kenzie cooed.

"Thank you?" Nate snuggles in behind her.

"Yeah, for accepting my weird group of friends. Being exactly what I need and when I need it." Kenzie moved her head to kiss his jaw. "You know for loving me for me."

"Oh, Kenz. I need you and these friends of yours more than you know. Let's sleep while the wine is talking." Nate's arm heavy on her side.

"Not the wine, this is only me, your wild and crazy girlfriend talkin'." Kenzie whispers to silence.

“Is it now?” Nate smiles into her hair as he pulls her tired body into him.

“It is. Relationships aren’t my cup of tea. Past men have thought of me as intimidating, too busy, or other words not coming to my head. You, Nathan Raymond, take me as I am.” Kenzie hums.

“Take?” Nate giggles.

“I’m tired.” Kenzie groans. “You know, we work.”

“We do. Now, let’s sleep my love.” Nate whispers.

Kenzie moved her wayward curls out of her face and reached for Nate. The coffee hit her nose before her hand hits his empty pillow. She swung her feet off the bed while reaching for her robe. At some point at night she managed to strip her shirt and shorts off. She was known to do this when the weather was all over the place. One of the other reasons she always had a robe or something near her.

Kenzie could hear Nate talking but this had become a normal thing the last few weeks as he would work out and talk to himself. Their living space had been moved around to add a sliding board, synthetic ice square, and other rehab things that he was given by the trainers in anticipation of being released from their care. It was mid-April, the teams were told they could return to their off season homes but those who were injured when the league shut down could still be treated. Nate hadn't mentioned going home and Kenzie was so tied up in working from home that she didn't question Nate's almost constant presence. They were functioning as if they lived together for must of the month.

"Yeah, no. I know. But..." Nate's voice becomes clear as she emerges seeing him sitting at the table. Nate being one of the faces of the team he was asked to do interviews frequently but never this early. She rubbed her eyes and toed over to Nate who hadn't heard her yet.

"I think regardless training here as you always do is best. It doesn't have to be WITH me but consistency, you know?" The voice on the phone sounded familiar.

"Uh..." Kenzie didn't mean to interrupt but her brain was still waking up.

"Kenz, baby. Imma FaceTiming Sid." Nate looked her up and down then his eyes shot to the propped up phone. Kenzie looked down to see her robe wasn't really closed exposing most of her front. She tightened it up.

"That's Sidney fucking Crosby, right?" Sid chimes in. Kenzie moves to Nate and he wraps her up to place on his lap. Sidney's deep laugh echoes from Nate's phone.

"Yeah, clearly when you and Nate are talking doesn't equal my best moments." Kenzie nodded with a smirk. "So what are you two talking about?"

Nate face contorts as Sid speaks up, "If Nate would be coming home to train with this the league allowing us to travel away from our team's city." He gulped as both Sid and Kenzie looked at Nate.

"You are thinking of going back home?" Kenzie tried to control her voice with the audience.

"Well..." Nate shot a look at this phone. "I... um..." "Spit it out Nathan." Kenzie demanded.

"I was going to see if you could come with me." Nate blurts out.

"Well, on that note, I'll talk to you later. MacKenzie, nice to see you." Sid ended the call leaving the couple in the quiet.

Nate's lips ghost Kenzie's stiff shoulders. "You gonna tell me what you are thinking?"

"How long have you thought about this?" Kenzie doesn't look over at him but still as the now blank phone.

"I've been tossing it around in my head since the pause. Before we knew we could go home. You know, we talked about spending time in Cole Harbour. So you could see where I grew up." Nate kisses her shoulder as his fingers graze her collar bone.

"But can I? Isn't the border closed if you aren't citizens? In case you weren't aware, I am completely American." Kenzie's phone pings in her pocket.

"Do you need to get that?" Nate looks at the illuminated phone through the fabric. Kenzie shrugs. "And I know you are American. I also know there are plenty of loop holes to getting you to Canada I'm sure. Now could you tell me if you need to attend to your phone right now?" Nate jingles her pocket. Kenzie slides her phone out and reads it.

"Nope." She pops her p as Nate lifts her by her armpits over his head and then back down so she is straddling him. "Hi. You think sex is going to solve our problem?" she giggles as Nate's lips find her neck.

"No but it might remind you how much you love me." Nate nibbles at her collarbone.

"You think I love you because of the sex?" Kenzie leans back. A look of mischief on her face.

"Yes, that, my romantic gestures, witty remarks, and cooking skills." Nate's hands slip under her robe letting it drop over his legs.

"I always tell you not to sell yourself short on the romance department, Mr. MacKinnon. You are more romantic than you think." Kenzie tugs at his shirt removing it from his body. Nate pulls her towards him hard. Kenzie moaning as she feels Nate growing under her. "Now before I let you bend me over the table, answer me. Do you need to go home or do you just want to?" Kenzie pulls back to release the pressure on Nate's hard cock. He groans. "Answer? And you can have your way with me. Communication is key in a healthy relationship."

"Only one brain is thinking at the moment, Baby." Nate huffs out. Kenzie moves her hands to encourage him to continue. "I want to go. I miss home and want to... oh fuck... show you what made me, me." Kenzie rolls her hips towards Nate then back again.

"And if I cannot?" Kenzie kisses his lips.

"Can we cross that bridge when we get there? Please!" Nate takes a deep breath trying to control himself. Kenzie laughed.

"I guess. Now, you may need to help as I'm not that tall." Kenzie stands up letting her robe fully drop to the ground. Nate slowly stands up removing his compression shorts allowing his cock to spring out.

"Here, place your leg here." Nate moves the chair and taps. He slowly kisses down her body.

"I was gonna do... OH!" Kenzie stops as Nate's mouth reaches her core.

"Yeah, I'm ready to go. You, you need a little attention." Nate looks up at Kenzie as he spreads her lower lips and finds her clit kissing before sucking it in. Kenzie braces herself against the table while Nate makes her dripping wet. His fingers scissoring her inside then curling to send an orgasm ripping through her body. Nate's hand moves from her clit to help support her shaking body. Kenzie moans out his name. "Ready?" Nate whispered as he kissed her stomach. Kenzie nods. Nate pulls her body to him, kissing her passionately. Her hands coming up to find his hair and her hips rolling into his. They released. Nate turns Kenzie placing her other leg on the chair. she lays on the cold table placing her hands under her head. Nate's lips slide down her spine before his hands run between her legs lining himself up to slowly press in.

"Oh, Nate!" Kenzie leans up to look over her shoulder. Nate leans into her placing a hand next to her face. "You feel so damn good." She bites at his knuckle causing Nate to snap into her.

"Hey! I'm trying to not blow in two seconds." Nate moaned.

"Ah, wanna savor it. I see. Continue." Kenzie giggled and tightens herself around him.

"Not helping." Nate grunts.

"I'm sorry, you just feel so good. My body is reacting." Kenzie moves her hips back. Incomprehensible words escape from Nate's lips as he rolls his hips back and forth into Kenzie. She presses herself into him encouraging Nate knowing he was close.

"How close are you?" Nate leans down to Kenzie's ear with a kiss.

"Press your unused hand into my clit and I'm sure I'll be right there with ya." Kenzie pants out. Nate leans back up to follow her directions. His hand snakes around her to find her clit. Finding his high almost immediately after Kenzie moans. He pumps a few times before Kenzie climaxes too. Both deep breathing in the silence.

"So, ready for our run-skate?" Kenzie wiggles under Nate. He kisses her neck.

"I already worked out." Nate finds Kenzie's lips and kisses her hard.

"You called that a work out?" She giggles with an overstimulated clinch.

"Ouch. No. I meant that." Nate points to his hockey space as he pulls out.

"So no? I'm gonna go alone? I thought about running to your place to check on it. Seems wrong to leave that penthouse empty." Kenzie leans down to pick up her phone and robe.

"We can stay there whenever you want." Nate follows Kenzie who was occupied with her phone. "We can go for our run-skate after we shower." Nate continues. "Kenz?"

"Oh, good. Sorry, my brother. His alarming CALL ME texts are always interesting." Kenzie shakes her head. "Start the shower and I'll be right there. She dials as Nate heads to her bathroom.

"That was quick." Nate greets Kenzie in the shower.

"That's Cam for ya." Kenzie leans up to kiss Nate's lips.

"And what did your brother want?" Nate washes Kenzie's body.

"Wanted my opinion on how our parents would take him getting Aaliyah pregnant." Kenzie turns so he can get her back. Nate turns her back around. His mouth gaping open.

"MacKenzie!" Nate shouts.

"Yes?" Kenzie looks up at him.

"Why are you so calm about this? I mean, I've heard stories about your parents and well, have met your mom." Nate states still in shock.

"Yup. And the golden child just fucked up." Kenzie giggles. "Don't get me wrong, I love him but in the eyes of my mother Cameron has only ever done what has been expected of him. Don't get me started on the shit I've covered up for him. I mean, remember the board?" Kenzie finishes washing herself then gets out to retrieve a towel.

"Kenzie!" Nate whisper yells. "So you are going to be an aunt?"

"Sounds like it. I wish I could see the look on her face when they tell her and with the pandemic they cannot just rush a wedding. At least Cam will graduate in May." The sinister grin still across her face.

"Well, okay. So this is going to be interesting. Wanna get ready now?" Nate towels off.

Their workout paused at Nate's condo. Kenzie found her way to his balcony taking in the mountains. She hears Nate behind her. "You know people here are still in coats but a day like today back home we would be in long sleeves and shorts."

"Same in Nova Scotia." Nate hands her a bottle of water. "So, I know we've talked a lot about your mom and growing up but you really think Cam is the golden child? Kenzie, come on?"

"I will never be what she wants me to be. I’m sure she expects the baby out of 'wedlock' from me." Kenzie quotes while she leans against the railing.

“I mean… it could be. We have enough sex.” Nate matter of factly states.

“My IUD prevents that.” Kenzie retorts.

“Always effective? I’m sure you researched it.” Nate leans next to Kenzie who is staring off into the distance.

“Over 99% effective. This is an amazing view. It's a waste since we are always at my place these days." MacKenzie changes the subject.

"You know your mom is missing out on the amazing woman you are." Nate kisses her temple. "And maybe we should sell both our places and get a new one, together? Get a yard. A dog maybe? Something that is ours not yours or mine."

Kenzie swallows her water hard. "Wh-a-t?" Her eyes were huge.

"Kenz, stop over analyzing. We practically live together so why not officially do? Let me ask you this, when is the last time we slept in different beds?"

"Your last road trip." Kenzie answers quickly.

"And before that?" Nate smiles.

"Maybe my work trip or your road trip. Okay, I see were you are going." Kenzie admits placing her forehead on the railing and leaning back.

"Yeah, we live together but own two condos. Isn't that fiscally irresponsible?" Nate laughs.

"Did ya google that?" Kenzie looks up and rolls her eyes.

"No." Nate fakes being offended. "But seriously, Kenz. Let's think about making a space for us."

"Big step there." Kenzie gulps again.

"Is it though?" Nate moves to wrap his arms around Kenzie's midsection. "I don't think it is. If you haven't gotten sick of me yet, I don't see you doing it ever."

"Ditto." Kenzie looked up at him.

"So..." "We can talk about it. Let's get going before my legs get tight, m'kay?" Kenzie wiggles out of his grip.

"We can take my Jeep back." Nate starts to head back in and she grabs his wrist.

"Huh?" Nate's smiled at her.

"Tyson met me here for some gaming one day when you had meetings all day. I left my Jeep here and rode back with him. See, you haven't even noticed. If we had a house, I could game in my man cave while you worked." Nate kissed her forehead. "Let's go home, m'kay?"

The whole way back Kenzie stared out the window as Nate hummed along to the music. He pulled into the spot next to her car. "So what have you decided in the drive home?" Nate turned off the car.

"Nothing." Kenzie whispers.

"Do you want me to guess?" Nate starts. "I'm guessing you cannot decide how we got so serious so quickly? Or if a house makes sense? Or what your family will say about your incoming niece or nephew? Let me see... what else..."

"Nate." She stops him. "I love you."

"But?" He turns her face to his.

"But nothing. I feel like you expect me to push back. Yes, I'm calculated about so many things but I've realized to just take us as it comes. You are my safe place." A tear starts to run down her cheek.

"Then why are you crying?" Nate rubs his thumb across her face.

"Our love scares the shit out of me. It's so right but seems too good. You seem too good. You getting me seems unreal. I'm so broken." Kenzie pulls her knees to her chest.

"MacKenzie, we are perfect. Crazy, kinda awkward, but so fucking amazing. How long has this been brewing?" Nate holds her face in his hands.

"I was in a zoom with the Seattle stuff and one of the girls was talking about postponing her wedding coming up. Drew for some reason asked her how long they had been dating and they met last summer. I just wondered in that moment how someone knows that quickly. Or is it just a me thing. Do I just not know how to do this love thing?" She sucks in a deep breath, lowering her eyes from Nate's intense stare.

"Oh Kenz." Nate pushes her chin up. "Kenzie, I..." Kenzie presses her lips to his hard, he returns the passion by pulling her towards him. Nate pulls back, "I hate to break of this moment but your phone hasn't stopped buzzing." Nate pulls Kenzie's phone out of his pocket to hand to her. She looks at it.

"Mom, Cam, Mom, Dad, Cam... I wonder if they told them but why so many calls in what 5 minutes." Kenzie looks up to Nate as Cam calls again. She answers. "So you told 'em?" Kenzie looks at Nathan. Her face went from joking to not. "Cam, I... thanks for telling me. Tell Dad I'll call him later. Love ya." Kenzie's voice breaks as she hangs up.

"Kenz?" Nate leans forward. A stream of tears appear down her face. "Sweetie." Nate jumps out of the car and runs to the passenger seat. "What is it?" Kenzie is almost hyperventilating.

"My... Gram. She's... gone." Kenzie chokes out in sobs. Nate wraps his arms under her lifting Kenzie's limp body up.

"I got ya." He whispered. "Just cry." Nate carries Kenzie towards the door.

#leave her wild fic #nate the great 29 #n mackinnon fic #nate mackinnon #nathan mackinnon #happens in 2020

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brekkerism · 4 years ago

Text

BASIC INSTINCT (Part 1 - A Spencer Reid Series)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Summary: (Y/N) has recently joined the bau through non conventional and rather privileged means. Couple that with a dark and troubled past, all she really wants is a fresh start. What she didn’t predict getting in her way of that, was one Special Agent Dr Spencer Reid. She thinks it’s hopeless and he’ll hate her forever. That is, until she sees Dr Reid on a rather...unusual place.

A/n: I kinda can’t believe this is my first Spencer Reid/Criminal minds fic. I’ve been obsessed for so long but I never got the courage to post anything. Well, we’ll see how this one goes. I really do hope all of you enjoy this, since I’m planning to make it multi chapters and I’m too in love to abandon it! Forgive me for not giving y’all the smut right away but good things come to those who are patient! And also huge thanks to @imagining-in-the-margins for being such a wonderful human and helping me beta this first one. Shout out to all the lovely people in the discord for encouraging me enough to write this. And also for my sweet liv, bc if she didn’t like this I would def not have posted.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word count: 2320

Rating: R-no actual hard smut. For now.

Content warning: 12+ years age gap, description of bdsm scenes and play, swear words, brief fingering

*********

Since the first day I stepped in the bau, I knew Dr.Spencer Reid would not like me one bit.

Call it a gut feeling, a hunch, or maybe my justified pessimism.

I knew the moment my dad told me, fresh out of the academy and not even slightly experienced at 24 years old, that I ‘mysteriously’ got a generous offer for a job with one of the best teams the FBI had to offer, that I wasn’t going to be liked by a lot of people. Because it wasn’t a mystery how I got the position. It was actually really plain and simple, and could be boiled down to one word:

Nepotism

I didn’t ask for it; I didn’t want it (no matter how much I actually wanted the position, but by my earning it on my own merits), but I completely understood something like this was likely to happen. I knew it the moment I moved back home and decided that the only thing worthwhile I really wanted to do was join the FBI. My dad was a good guy who was just trying to help me, his intentions were just a little misguided. It happens.

What doesn’t ‘just’ happen is that my dad is the deputy director of the FBI. His helping me was ‘making calls’ and ‘pulling strings’, which instantly gives my peers every reason to doubt every achievement I have.

But I was completely ready for it.

What I wasn’t ready for is for everyone on the team to be normal and so welcoming to me, like I was any other agent. It was everything I wanted.

Well, everyone did that except him. I couldn’t figure it out why, but from the first minute he turned those eyes towards me, looking me up and down but never quite reaching my eyes, I could feel the scrutiny under the stare. Almost like he was saying “Really? This is it?”.

But with a blink it was gone, and he turned away from me and put his attention to the book in his hand so fast I almost thought I imagined the whole thing.

But I knew, I knew I saw it. And I knew that even if I didn’t want it, my body and brain would spend days trying to make him acknowledge me again, to look me up and down again, to try and prove to him what I’ve been trying to prove to everyone:

I deserved to be there. I could earn it by myself. I just need the chance to do it.

And so, my journey to try to not only be useful but a valuable agent, someone he would have to notice began.

And it was shit.

Everyone was so willing not only to teach me, but to listen to my input.

Luke always had my back, both of us being the newbies in the team. JJ and Tara were always open to listening to theories, doubts and rambling, besides being totally badass inspirations. Penelope always had a eager and friendly attitude that could comfort me immediately, and she welcomed me with open arms. Emily and Rossi were patient, while also pushing me to be so much better, and being the best mentors they could be.

None of them even seemed to have even a passing thought of giving me special treatment or harsher judgment. It was almost perfect.

If it wasn’t for Special Fucking Agent Doctor Reid. He wouldn’t even be an asshole towards me, oh no, It was much, much worse. He ignored me.

He was almost happy to pretend I didn’t even exist. Of course there were situations that he couldn’t avoid socializing, as minimal as it was, but it was like he was talking to a wall. He looked at me like he was surprised that I was even there. He wouldn’t acknowledge me unless he was made to. He wouldn’t even correct me when I was wrong. At this point I was sure that I could be screaming bloody murder at him and he wouldn’t take his eyes off whatever he was doing.

It was the most frustrating and irritating thing that has ever happened to me. It made my blood boil over. It made me cry with sorrow.

And I couldn’t even figure out why. I didn’t know what it was that made me crazy because Spencer Reid wouldn’t look my way.

So I did what every angry and frustrated normal young adult does.

I went to a sex dungeon to drink my mixed feelings away and watch BDSM scenes. Duh.

Even though I wasn’t going there to play, and I thought I would never be able to play again, it was still a safe place for me. A place where I could see people that once knew the real me and provided a place free of any judgement. People who didn’t know who I was outside of those walls, who thought of me as just another person in that safe and different little world.

It also helped that watching, as much as it wasn’t my preference before, was the only thing that could properly get me off these days. And after everything, I thought I still deserved the ability to enjoy some parts of it.

And so, after saying my goodbyes to Pen, JJ amd Emily, and finding flimsy excuses not to join them at the bar for Friday drinks, I hopped the elevator, wondering how long would it take me to get properly dressed and drive across town, and if I was going to be able to call more of my old friends.

But all my happy thoughts of getting to immerse myself on a world I still loved were immediately clouded when a hand stopped the elevator and went in with me. His hand.

Great, just the perfect ending to an shitty day. A awkward elevator ride with Spencer Reid. And as always, he didn’t bother to acknowledge me, even though it was just the two of us riding down.

I was trying so hard to be in a good mood; to ignore the shitty end to a shittier case and go somewhere where I could try to be happy. But I just had to be met with his silence, his awkwardness, his existence in general. I didn’t want to feel like that today. So before I could stop myself, I did something stupid

“So, what are your plans for the weekend, Doctor?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Like he would voluntarily participate in small talk with me, something he already didn’t like, with someone he didn’t even bother to not like.

“I think I’m going to go to a party with a friend today.”

Now that took me by surprise. No short replies? No one syllable answers? He actually told me something out of his own free will? He engaged in small talk?!

“O-oh? I didn’t know you were one for partying... like, at all. Which friend are you going with? Do I know him?”

Talk to me. Keep engaging in small talk, please.

“You don’t really know me well enough to judge if I am one for partying or not, now, do you? And you definitely wouldn’t know her. I don’t only hang out with people on our team, contrary to popular belief.”

Well that was extremely uncalled for. And rude. I thought that it was the first time he ever referred to me as part of the team, but that was an small detail to analyze later.

“No need to be defensive or rude, I was just asking.”

“Well, don’t.”

He was back to having that stupid blank expression on his face, back to not dignifying me with a proper answer, and that just wouldn’t do, would it?

I had a response. I had an excellent, spectacular comeback to use, but before I could actually defend myself in any way, the elevator dinged open. He couldn’t get out fast enough.

It was infuriating. So I did the only reasonable thing:

I followed him to his car to give him a piece of my mind.

Because of those immensely long legs, he almost got there quick enough to drive away and avoid me, but I would not let my stubby short legs get in the way.

I got my hand in before he could close his door, much like he did with the elevator. He still refused to look up at me but, the cheer disbelief and confusion on his face was enough of a response. Can’t ignore me now, asshole.

“You know, the only reason I don’t know anything about you, is because you pretend like I don’t exist. So don’t be needlessly rude to me. It’s better to keep not saying anything at all.”

And there it was. It was just tip of the iceberg, but at least I acknowledged it. I could actually feel a smirk forming on my face.

“Remove your hand please.”

And he finally looked up at me. All the disbelief and annoyance on his face were gone, replaced by that utterly bored and blank stare.

I actually wanted to scream. How was this the same guy that couldn’t stop talking and rambling enthusiastically about any and everything to anyone, the same person who had a perfect smile and warmth on his eyes for everyone else. How.

It was too frustrating. So I stepped back, removing my hand from his car door and walking towards my own car. It was better to just let it end already so I can wallow in my humiliation over this failed attempt at confrontation.

It almost put me in a bad enough mood that I didn’t want to go to the ‘club,’ but I had already promised Amara, who was not only one of my best friends but also happened to be dating that particular BDSM dungeon’s Mistress. There was no getting out even if I wanted to.

And I didn’t really want to.

****

A hour and dress change later, I was ready to go. This was absolutely nothing like the old outfits I used to wear for this events, but then again, I wasn’t the same girl. Not entirely.

So I opted for a silky black dress with a cowl neck and the best heels I had. It was sexy enough for a night of normal clubbing, but rather tame for a night at a dungeon. It was exactly what I wanted. It was less likely in that type of dungeon for anybody to approach or proposition me if I didn’t look experienced and in my element.

Even if I secretly was.

So I got ready, took my time to properly breathe, and left everything that wasn’t this night or positive thoughts behind the locked door of the apartment. I could come back to them later.

Right now, I was going to be happy and have fun.

*****

I was not having fun anymore. It was unfortunate, and I felt like somehow that this had to be the bad mood I was in from a particular encounter earlier. I just couldn’t find anything that excited me the way I wanted it to. I had made the rounds with Amara, and she had showed me all of the new rooms and new toys before every space got occupied with busy couples and groups.

It was beyond fun exploring before the spaces were being actually used, and imagining what each person would get out of those rooms. It was a pleasant and happy feeling.

But soon enough the dungeon got filled with more and more people, and each room was occupied and used. Most were open for all that wanted to watch, but each scene I passed failed to get my attention. It was especially more daunting and lonely when Amara left to put on a show with her girlfriend in the main room.

And as pretty and wonderful as they looked, I just didn’t feel like watching a couple as in love as Amara and Celeste performing tonight. It was just... a little too much for me. After everything, most loving was.

No, what I was looking for was not that. I was looking for the thing I used to crave. The thing that used to keep me going at all times of the day.

I was looking for fucking. Not couples making love, not couples having sex, not pet play, not elaborate scenes or people using toys so strange and complicated I couldn’t make out what was what.

I was looking for someone completely fucking dominating their partner.

It shouldn’t be impossible to find. Not on a Friday night, and not in a club this good.

And I did. I finally found it.

The dom had his back to the audience and the door with the little window I was watching through. He was turned toward his sub standing on the side while she spread her legs on the bed, her hands tied up to the headboard, showing her pussy to the audience along the wall. It was the perfect scene for me. In fact, too perfect.

She even looked a little like me, in fact. Same build, similar hair. It got me even more excited to watch this through. I took a deep breath and finally opened the door. Stepping in, I leaned against the door, having a direct view to the bed.

And god did I want to watch.

The dom still had his back to us,but I wasn’t watching him. Rather, I watched the girl’s cunt and how he was fingering it, not saying anything for her or us yet.

He has really nice hands.

Really, really nice. In fact I don’t think I’ve seen such nice hands since –

Not the time!

The girls face looked rather blissful, and I imagined three of those pretty and long fingers should be doing just the trick for her.

But then she did something that displeased him.

She moaned. Loudly.

The sound was immediately followed by a sharp slap in her face.

Fuck, that made me wet.

But before I could even entertain the idea of getting my hands inside my panties, the dom spoke.

He spoke in a voice I almost never heard directed towards me, but could pick out in any crowd.

He spoke in the voice of the man that made me so mad I almost didn’t come to the club in the first place.

“Are my fingers inside you too much? Cause I’ll fucking stop if you can’t obey and stay quiet.”

And I froze. I froze and panicked and had to stop myself from screaming by bringing a hand up to my mouth.

Because that was Spencer Reid, in a BDSM dungeon, dominating a girl right in front of me.

Taglist: @imagining-in-the-margins @spencer-reid-in-a-pool @gretaamyk @prettyricky187 @sunlight-moonrise @fanficlibrary82 @blazinvixen @samanddeanstolethetardis221b @httpnxtt @reidetic @hyper-fxation @blushingspencer @reidlusts @wishingwellwriting @redbullchick

I feel like I missed a lot of peeps but please know I’m still thankful ma loves

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thisbeatchachinglikemoney · 4 years ago

Text

So Far Away (part 2)

Part 7 of the Boys with Luv series

Pairing: Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin x reader; Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin x Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Jin; Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung x Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung

Summary: We have some make ups, some losses, some fluff and a tiny bit of angst

Warnings: Mentions of smut, some swearing

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @fic-recs-by-moon, @luvtaeha, @aretha170, @xicanacorpse, @kookieebangtan, @fangirl125reader, @seoul9711, @channiespup , @lindsayjoy444

AN: I decided to make this a 3 part chapter because I like leaving y’all in suspense. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist and what you think of the series so far :) I purple you guys!

Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Yoongi POV:

As soon as the words left Y/N’s mouth, my eyes widened and my grip on her hand tightened. This was not going to be good. For all I knew, they could yell at her and make her feel like she was unwanted, which is completely untrue.

“Jungkookie, take Y/N to the food place and get yourselves something to eat.” I said, making Jungkook frown at me in confusion. “If it is them, I don’t want her getting hurt by any argument that might happen.” I explained. “Now go and get some food, and I will meet you both there later.” I kissed Y/N’s forehead and Jungkook’s cheek before watching them walk off hand in hand. I let out a breath and readied myself for the confrontation, knowing that there was going to be arguing that we may not be able to come back from.

Jimin was pouting slightly. “Pretty boy, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“I hate all of this fighting.” Jimin admitted. “I just want all of us to go back to normal... Or as normal as we can be.”

“Well, we just need to talk to them and see if we can sort out this mess.” Jin said, rubbing Jimin’s back. “So let’s go talk.”

We approached them slowly. They didn’t realise we were behind them until I cleared my throat.

The three of them turned around, eyes wide. It was then I realised Taehyung looked awful. He had bags under his eyes that were still visible under the concealer and his lips were drawn in a small permanent pout. Whatever was going on between us had to be sorted now.

“Hyung, w-what are you doing here?” Jimin asked, playing with his fingers as he attempted to try and start the much-needed conversation.

“Fuck, Yoongi hyung, I am so sorry.” Namjoon said, looking down at his shoes in shame. “I should have never kicked you out of the dorm. I should have let you explain and let you make the decisions. I never wanted to make you feel unloved and unwanted by us, or to make our whole dynamic awkward.”

“And I should have stood up for you and said something against what Namjoon said. Fuck, hyung, I should have come to you the second I knew something was wrong and we had upset you.” Hoseok apologised, his eyes wide and pleading. I bit my lip, my eyes sliding towards Taehyung who was trembling, his eyes filling with tears.

“Hyung, we’re so sorry-” Namjoon started to speak again.

“Just shut up you two and come here!” I allowed them to come towards me and I leaned up and kissed them both. “I accept your apologies, but I don’t fully forgive you yet. I’m just going to need some time. What you said really hurt me.” I said.

“Of course, hyung. Of course. Take your time.” Hoseok said, hugging me again. He released me, going over to Jimin, who still looked unsure. “Hey baby boy.” He said, making Jimin let out a small sob and jump into his arms. Hoseok sighed in relief and held him close, his face buried in his hair.

Namjoon was embracing Jin, leaving Taehyung stood there, looking unsure of what to do.

“Taehyung, let’s go somewhere else to talk, okay?” I said, extending my hand for him to take. He gingerly reached out and took it, allowing me to lead him to a more private place.

We ended up at the food courts. I led us over to a small cafe and stopped just outside. I sat him down in a chair and sat down opposite him. “Why do you look so sad?” I asked.

“I’m a horrible, disgusting person. That’s why.” Taehyung said, not making eye contact with me.

“Taehyung...” I reached over and grabbed hold of his hand. “You said some things that were hurtful and not nice but you will never, ever be a disgusting or horrible person.”

“Yes I am, hyung! I told you to reject your soulmate, knowing full well how much pain it would cause both you and her.” He said. “I didn’t give you a chance to explain what you were going to do, and what your plan was, and I’m sure if I had, I would have heard that you had planned to do something that made both parties happy. And to make matters worse, I lost my soulmate. After I saw you both in the mall, I could suddenly see colour. Me, Joonie hyung and Hobi hyung could.”

“Tae, you know that someone can have multiple soulmates, right?” I said, making him cock his head to the side, tears dripping down his face. “That’s what happened with me, Y/N, Jiminie, Kookie and Jin. It happens when people are very close.”

“So, me, Joonie hyung and Hobi hyung could be her soulmates as well?” Taehyung asked, his voice small.

“Yes, Tae baby. We are all soulmates with her.” I said, making him slowly smile and sniffle slightly.

“I missed you calling me that.” He whispered. “I missed you so much, hyungie, I’m so sorry for what I said to you.”

“Baby, come here.” I stood up and opened my arms, allowing him to run into them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He said over and over again.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” I said, stroking his back. “It’s okay, don’t cry.”

“It’s not okay. I was jealous.” He said, his head resting against my shoulder. “I didn’t want to lose you or have less of your time.”

“Taehyung baby boy, you were my first, you are so important to me. You’re never going to lose me.” I held him away from me for a second to look at him. “You’re so beautiful.” I said, stroking his cheek. He leaned into the gesture. “My beautiful baby boy.” I leaned forward to kiss him gently. He made a noise as our lips connected, sounding like a needy whine.

As I pulled away, I wiped away his tears. “I want to apologise to Y/N.” He said. “And I want to meet her properly and let her know that I don’t hate her.”

Y/N POV:

I sighed as I stirred the straw around my empty milkshake glass, my head resting in my hand. I stared over at Jungkook, who was sat opposite me, looking equally as bored.

“Do we have to stay here?” I asked, making him look at me slightly confused. “Like we’re at Disney, let’s go on some rides. I don’t want to be stuck in a restaurant all day.”

“I don’t know, gorgeous. They might get annoyed.” Jungkook looked unsure.

“We’ll be fine, Koo.” I got up and tugged on his hand. “Please.” He still looked unsure. “Please, oppa, I will give you lots of cuddles when we get back.” I said, doing an aegyo. He chuckled.

“Okay, fine. Fine.” He allowed me to pull him up from the table. “I’ll text Jimin hyung and tell him what we are doing.” He pulled out his phone and typed out a quick text before pocketing his phone and grabbing hold of my hand. “Where to first?”

It was then I got a sneaky prank idea to pull on Yoongi, Jin and Jimin oppas. “Let’s start from right at the back of the park and ride every ride there and take our time. But don’t tell them where we are going exactly. Let’s prank them.”

Much to my surprise, a cheeky smile flooded Jungkook’s face. “That sounds like a great plan!” He said. “Let’s go!”

After we had been on a few of the rides in the Magic Kingdom, Jungkook led me to the Cinderella castle and sat down on a bench, pulling me down beside him. The sun was beginning to set, the light reflecting off his necklace that was settled just under his collar bone, between the tips of his pectorals, that were exposed from his half-buttoned shirt.

“Are you having fun?” He asked, cupping the side of my face in his hand and stroking my cheek. I smiled gently as his soft, brown doe eyes made a comfortable contact with mine.

“Yes, thank you.” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“Good.” He said, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone. I leaned into the gesture, his hand supporting the weight of my head. “You look so pretty in the sunlight.” He took hold of my hand and pulled me up. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” He set up his phone and stood us in front of the castle. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine before kissing me gently.

“Kookie.” I breathed as he pulled away, resting our foreheads together. My stomach felt weird, like there was a nest of butterflies living there. I cleared my throat, pulling away from him slightly, not liking the unfamiliar feeling. He frowned at me, trying to decipher what was going on with me.

“What’s wrong, carrot?” He asked, making me raise an eyebrow at the nickname.

“Nothing’s wrong. Just worried about the others.” I replied. They had been gone a long time and I knew it wasn’t because they were looking for us; they would have called us if they couldn’t find us.

“Yeah, they haven’t tried to find us. Maybe they have forgotten about us?” Jungkook shrugged.

I hummed. “What was that nickname before?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to call you that, because hyungs call me bunny, and bunny’s like to eat carrots, and I like to eat you out so...” My cheeks flushed red as I thought back to how he had woken me up that morning, with his head buried between my legs and his tongue inside me. He chuckled when he saw my expression. “Aww is my little carrot embarrassed?” He teased, making me slap his chest playfully. He looked at me in surprise, making me giggle.

“You look like a lost bunny.” I commented, making him laugh. I looked around for a second. “You know what I am really craving? A churro.”

“Me too.” Jungkook rubbed his stomach. “Shall we go back and get some food, we haven’t really had lunch.”

“Mhm.” I agreed. “Don’t forget your phone.” I reminded him. He grabbed it and smiled at the screen.

“We’re cute.” He said, showing me the picture of us kissing in front of the castle. “We might be the cutest pair.” I giggled and kissed his cheek before holding his hand as we walked back to the food court.

Jimin POV:

Yoongi hyung was in a state of panic. We had all met up at the food court, but Y/N and Jungkook were nowhere to be found. Yoongi had tried calling them both, but neither of them had replied.

“Where could they have gone?” Yoongi sat down on one of the chairs, pulling at his hair in frustration. I knew why he was so worried - Y/N’s abusive ex could have found out where she was and taken her, hurting Jungkook in the process.

“Maybe try calling them again?” Namjoon suggested. Yoongi opened his phone and called Jungkook again, but it went straight through to voicemail. I bit my lip as I checked my phone to see if I had any messages from either of the youngest ones.

“Ah hyung!” I said, waving my phone around. “Jungkookie texted me about an hour ago. He and Y/N have gone on some rides because princess was bored.” I said, reading the message aloud.

“Did he say where?” Yoongi asked. I scanned the message again and shook my head. “Of course he wouldn’t.” He rolled his eyes and tried Y/N again. Still no answer. “Well, at least we know they are safe...” He blew some air out through his mouth. “I’m going to go and find them.” He said.

“I’ll come with you.” I volunteered, standing up and taking hold of his hand. Yoongi nodded and together we walked out of the food area to try and find the missing two.

We didn’t have to go very far as we found them walking together, hand in hand, laughing with each other. They froze when they saw us, knowing that they were in trouble from the look on Yoongi’s face.

“And what do you two think you have been doing?” He asked, his voice deep and dangerously calm.

“Going on rides...” Jungkook said slowly, knowing that he was going to get punished for this. Y/N looked between the two of them, her throat bobbing as she swallowed.

“And what is the rule about answering your phones?” Yoongi folded his arms across his chest.

“Always answer them when they ring, but hyung, our phones didn’t ring, so I really don’t understand why you are so mad.” Jungkook said, shrugging.

“You don’t understand why...” Yoongi scoffed. “Both of you take out your phones now and check them.” They both did it, shaking their heads.

“No calls from you to either of us.” Y/N replied. “Oppa, really, I don’t understand what’s going on.”

“Yoongi hyung has been calling you for the past hour.” I replied, making her frown at her phone.

“Then there is something wrong with my phone.” She said. “I have signal, I’m connected to the park wifi, but it’s not picking up your calls or texts...” She frowned as she tapped the screen a few times. “Or your contact...” She tapped and scrolled a few more times before she started shaking her head and murmuring no under her breath.

“Princess, what’s wrong?” I asked, rushing to her side. I saw that it was open on a contact who had sent a picture of her getting buckled into a ride. She was smiling and the sun was giving a golden hue to her skin. She looked beautiful. But I knew it wasn’t Jungkook who had taken the picture because I could see his hand on her thigh.

“What’s going on?” Yoongi asked, walking over to us. “What the hell? Who is this?” He looked at Y/N, his eyes softening once he saw how traumatized she looked.

“It’s my ex.” She said, her voice shaking. Yoongi’s jaw set in anger. “I think he was here in the park. Yoongi he has my number and my location. I’m scared.”

Yoongi wrapped an arm around her waist protectively. He turned off her phone’s location and blocked the number. “Jimin, go tell the others that we will meet them back at my apartment. We’ll talk to them there. Jungkook go with him, make sure he’s okay.” As Jungkook and I walked away, I heard Yoongi talking to Y/N to comfort her. “I promise you, jagiya, no one is ever going to hurt you again, I promise. Not while I’m around.”

#Poly BTS #bts poly #btspolyau #dom!yoongi #dom!hoseok #dom!namjoon #sub!taehyung #sub!jimin #sub!jungkook #sub!reader #switch!jin #soulmate au #so far away #angst #fluff

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chidoroki · 4 years ago

Text

TPN - “Dreams Come True”

What better way to cheer up the TPN fandom after the second season’s final episode than with the special exhibition chapter finally being fully translated. I caught glimpses of a few pages here and there over the past couple months but seeing all the children live happily together in the human world in their own little village that they made close to Emma and Alex warms my heart. Of course I would’ve loved if we got to see more of the GP Resistance (because the anime denied us of them) but following the GF kids around the world as they experience their dreams is fair enough. We started the series alongside them so might as well finish strong with them too. I really loved seeing everyone grow up but no matter how old they get or how much time passes, I’ll probably never get used to seeing Emma without her iconic “63194.” It’s a bittersweet feeling for me, but her smiles bring me so much joy and I’m beyond happy that she accepted everyone into her life as they accepted her without her memories.

I haven’t a clue on how much time passed since everyone found Emma in ch181 to now, but seeing her call out everyone’s names is a little detail that I love so much considering she had no idea who anyone was at first. Trying to remember 60+ names doesn’t seem like an easy task to me. No doubt I was just as shocked as our girl upon learning these mere children bought a goddamn plane! We learn in a couple pages that it’s because of Norman’s company that they can afford it, but still, he’s like 15 or 16 now? He’s still a child! And I’m impressed! Not only at him, but that Oliver and Violet became pilots as well! It’s especially cute when you remember that Lucas gave Oliver a little toy plane during their time at Goldy Pond.

Speaking of GP, is it just me or does Emma’s current outfit resemble her GP one just a little bit? Sure we have no idea what color scheme this one has but come on, the short jacket, the dark shirt and jeans.. just imagine it! Jemima, Yvette, Alicia and Mark remade Gillian’s original GP outfit sometime before the Grace Field Raid arc (ch137 extra page) so I don’t doubt they could’ve done the same for Emma. Of course that’s just me being completely hopeful and missing the Goldy Pond arc to death but yeah! I’m also so happy to see Chris up and moving again! Seeing him wake up briefly in ch181 was nice but this is so much better. I imagine he and Emma have a lot to catch up on in terms of stories, with him being unconscious since ch105 and Emma not remembering anything.

But here we go, the original 15 escapees plus Norman, Phil, Sherry, I believe I saw Carol somewhere and a couple other random kiddos ready to see the entire world. They get to accomplish so much.. and in a single day too I believe? At least that’s what Phil and Alicia say a bit later about everyone’s wishes, but aahh what a lucky bunch. Hell, I’ll say we’re lucky readers too to be able to see such a great story. Can’t thank Shirai and Demizu enough y’all. I wish we got to see more of Alex though. He’s such a kind soul but I’m sure he’ll be just fine staying behind with everyone else.

This entire page where we learn about Norman as a CEO is gold. I still can’t believe this child successfully built up an entire multipurpose company not only to help their search for Emma but also because he didn’t want to live off the Ratri clan. I wish I knew about this last week when writing out Norman’s birthday post because hell yeah this deserves some praise! AND he managed to graduate school as well during all that! Well, by skipping grades which totally makes sense. I mean, if he managed to pass all the Grace Field and Lambda tests effortlessly I’m sure normal human world school was a piece of cake for him. Holy shit dude, keep on impressing me why don’t ya. Not only him but Nigel and Sonya too! I’m not surprised that Vincent helped out but I’m glad those two got a tiny moment to shine as well! Ray is another obvious choice when it comes to helping Norman, as they’re best friends and he’s always been good with machines.. but boy, I can’t take you seriously when you’re just sitting there unamused and eating chips! Hahah I love him so much! And the fact he replies to Norman’s idea with just a simple “kay” is an eternal mood.

Okay boys aside, can we talk about our fabulous girls now? Because oh my god, they’re so darn beautiful! They’re more fashionable than I’ll ever be and it’s so cute how they drag Emma along to take advantage of the 3-for-1 deal. But our girl pulls off that sporty look so well! (r.i.p. goldy pond outfit ver2.0). I’m not at all surprised that Nat wanted to go see the opera. That's perfect for him and I’d like to think the anime did something similar with that one shot we see of him in the human world. We don’t see him in a theater like this but to me it looks like he’s on the streets of Broadway? At least that’s the vibe I get from it. I’m sure there was something music related on one of those signs.

I can’t get over how adorable all the children look and how happy they are fulfilling their wishes, even if some of them aren’t as extravagant as others. Like eating a fluffy pancake and a ton of ice cream? We can do that whenever we want. But for these kids, it means everything and they absolutely deserve to experience such simple joys like that after all the harsh nonsense they’ve been through. I also love how Ray continues to be such a great older brother by still looking out for them too. The fact he remains completely unfazed by the haunted house is perfect. This boy has been haunted by his own nightmares and demons his entire life, there’s no way a couple of lousy jump scares are gonna spook him. Though I do find it funny that Alicia and Rossi still manage to get scared while Yvette is having the time of her life. I can’t help but laugh at Thoma’s “Shirai face” as well.

I find it interesting that out of all the different kinds of exhibits they could’ve shown us while Rossi visits a museum, they give us dinosaurs.. like that seems so silly to me. Y’all have seen several demons in your young lives already and yet dinosaurs manage to amaze you too? God these kids are precious. And then our boy Phil finally gets to see and ride a train! Just look how happy he is! The poor kid can’t even sit still he’s so darn excited and I can’t help but smile with him! Thankfully the anime showed us this too.

We eventually get to Ray’s wish and guys.. oh my fucking god. Tell me that this is not the absolute best and prettiest smile we get to see from him!! It honestly leaves me speechless okay? Ray never imagined he would ever get to see the outside world, let alone live past the age of 12, and yet here he is, seeing such a beautiful sight such as this, right in front of him instead of from inside a book. You can’t believe how happy and proud of him I am right now. Did you see how ecstatic I was when the anime kept Isabella alive? Multiply that feeling by ten and there ya go. That’s my level of happiness upon seeing my favorite boy smile like THAT! AAHHH!! That panel is gonna live rent free in my head until the end of time. I can’t get over how damn perfect it is. His smile is so pure and how he looks like he’s in complete awe is beautiful. He’s about to burst into tears and I swear I might do the same because I’m making myself emotional over this fantastic boy. Someone hold me.

No seriously, hold me because we’re about to get into some angst as we move onto to Emma’s wish. We all know that ever since 2039 her one dream was to ride a giraffe once they got outside, so here we are, about ten years later and the animals in question are within reach. Our girl should be totally excited, right? Ha, not quite.

That wish was something the old Emma wanted, but since demon god had to be such a bastard, this Emma doesn’t know what to think, let alone what to even feel. She hasn’t experienced the same hardships as her family. She hasn’t gone through hell and back while holding onto that one wish that would make all the suffering worth it. The amount of joy everyone else felt upon living out their dreams, she wonders if she would be able to feel it too.

They brought her here to make her happy, but is this truly want she wants as well? This is old Emma’s wish after all. What about her and what she wants? Could this wish make her just as happy as her old self? She knows her family is only trying to help, but seeing her doubt herself does a number on my heart. Even without her memories, she’s still the same Emma deep down, as she doesn’t want to disappoint her family. She spends so much time worrying about living up to her family’s expectations, to try and be that Emma they all love so dearly.

Little does she know that she acts the exact same as usual, almost as if nothing has changed when she finally expresses how much she wants to ride a giraffe. And that’s great considering when they first arrived at the giraffes, no on had even mentioned riding them. She came across that feeling all on her own and everyone else can’t help but laugh and feel relieved. Her mind may have forgotten but her heart remembers everything. There is no “old Emma” and “new Emma” to her family, just “Emma” and words can’t express how wholesome that is because they love her regardless. All that matters to them is Emma’s happiness because if anyone deserves to feel and experience that, it’s her.

I just made myself tear up, damn it. I started this series with season one okay? I heard about this precious girl’s dream within the first minute of the first episode and here I am, a little bit over two years later, finally reading about it coming true and seeing that bright as hell smile on her face. Do you know how amazing it is to come full circle like that? My heart feels so full right now. I’m beyond proud of her and love her to death. Say what you want but I believe this to be the true manga ending in my eyes.

(damn this series for always getting me emotional)

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #tpn norman #tpn ray #tpn emma #norman #ray #emma #chidoroki used chatter

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nancydfan · 4 years ago

Note

So I have been a fan of resident evil for a while now and I have to say without a shadow of a doubt Ethan is my favorite protagonist. I feel like the rest of the protagonists in the series are kinda the same, you’ve got the police/army guys (Leon and Chris) who are determined to save the world, and then with the rest of them they’re kinda the same, badass people willing to give their all to get rid of evil and return the world back to normal. And that’s fine, except it’s a kind of story that’s been told over and over again and not just in resident evil.

That’s why I love Ethan so much. He is a breath of fresh air that the series needed. And while yes, you can argue that his type of storyline has also been used a lot, it’s something that has never been explored in resident evil.

With the rest of the protagonists, they choose to fight. They volunteer to put themselves in horrifying scenarios for the greater good.

Ethan isn’t like that.

He’s literally just your typical average dude. He has a normal job, and has a relatively normal life which he was happy to spend with Mia until she went missing.

In RE7 Ethan doesn’t volunteer to deal with the horrors that he faces. He just wanted his wife back, and even after 3 years he still loves her enough to drop everything and rush out to find her.

When I finished RE7, I liked Ethan as a main character, but it was RE8 that made me fall in love with him. In RE7 there were a lot of times when he just didn’t respond or kind of reacts underwhelmingly, but I think this is less of his character and more of Capcom trying to make you feel more like Ethan and having him react too much might take you out of feeling like the main character is you.

Of course his actions are still very reflective of him, like when he first enters the house and has to “kill” Mia the first time, when she reaches out to him he reaches right back, implying that he regrets what just happened and that he still wants her to be okay, no matter what is wrong with her.

I know Jacksepticeye said one of the reasons why he doesn’t like Ethan is because he doesn’t have a character arc, but I disagree. Like I said, Ethan goes from not being very vocal at times/ underwhelming reactions in RE7 to I feel the exact opposite in 8; he talks a lot more with lines that make sense, and you can feel his emotions at times even with just seeing his hands. Now one can argue that Capcom just wrote Ethan differently, which I can see.

But I feel as though Ethan has changed- in the first game, he’s scared and confused, and finally ends on frustration as the game nears its end. In RE8 he is angry, angry that his life keeps getting turned on it’s head because of some stupid mold. He is angry, and fueled by his grief and determination to save the only family (he thinks) he has left. He is 100% done with everything and has honestly given his last fuck a long time ago.

And again, this is what makes him special- he doesn’t necessarily care about the mold, about Miranda or any of the “bigger issue” things- he just wants his family. In 7 he just wants to get his wife and get out of there, and In 8 he just wants to save his daughter. He didn’t sign up to be a hero, to save the world from it’s own creations. He just wants his family.

And honestly that’s what makes him more human and alive to me than the rest of the protagonists- the rest of them kind of just feel like characters with their (almost cheesy) need to take on insurmountable problems to save the world. But Ethan is different, he’s just a man who probably just wants to do his taxes in peace and have a normal, quiet life. The rest of the protagonists, though I’m sure would love to quit, wouldn’t change their jobs or their situations because they know someone has to do it and it might as well be them. But not Ethan. If he had the choice than he’d make it so none of this ever happened, and that he and his family never have to be involved in something like this again.

Which is why I think this is what makes his sacrifice so much more tragic. With any of the other protagonists yes we would be sad but we’d find comfort in knowing that they died doing what they loved (saving people), and wouldn’t have it any other way.

But Ethan is different.

He didn’t want to sacrifice himself- we can see that in the way he struggles with Chris to get out, to stay in one piece for his daughter because he wants to be there for her. He went through hell and he just wants to see his little girl grow up. And when he hears Mia’s alive that want only grows more because he has a chance to have his family back, but I think he knows he can’t. He’s falling apart, his body has dealt with so much and kept him alive but not for much longer. And so even though he desperately wants to go back with Chris, after hearing Mia’s alive he knows he can let go. I think another part of why he was fighting so hard to escape with Chris is because he didn’t want Rose to live without both of her parents, but when he hears Mia’s alive he realizes that Rose will be okay, she will at least have one parent. He is so tired, so tired of fighting that even though he hates the fact that he can’t go back with her (you can physically hear the pain in his voice when he says “Goodbye Rosemary”), he knows that it’s something he has to do.

And he isn’t happy or content with sacrificing himself. In fact this is the last thing he wanted, which again is what makes it so heart wrenching. After all the pain he’s been through he doesn’t even get to see his daughter grow up, doesn’t get to grow old with his wife, his painful adventure to get his family back ends just as painfully as he pulls the trigger to destroy the mold.

This is why Ethan is special to me. Ethan is just a man who wanted to be happy with his family, not some stereotypical stone cold hero who would gladly give up his life for the greater good. He is truly unique and in a way I saw myself in him and his personality, which is what crushed me so much when he died. I wanted him to have a good ending and he got handed a shitty end. I really hope Capcom gives him a good resolution, one where he doesn’t have to be a main character at all but at least give us something where we know he’s okay and reunited with his family.

Sorry for getting weepy and deep lol, it’s just I really love Ethan and have no one to talk about how upset I am at his ending lol. Thanks for listening to my rant!

Oh my dear nonnie you’re always welcome to rant in my inbox. Long or not, thoughts, etc. that’s why my box is always open :)

And just so you know, I’m currently crying in an airport lobby over Ethan Winters 😆

I’m on mobile so I won’t be able to properly respond probably except to say you are absolutely right on all of these things. He really is such a stark contrast to the rest of the RE heroes and that’s what makes him so special to me too. He is just a man. A man who does everything he can for his family. All he wants to do is be left alone to love his wife and raise his daughter. I keep thinking of that scene in re8 where he’s talking to the doc. That is the Ethan Winters Capcom refuses to let us see all that much. Easy, happy, carefree moment. There’s a lightness to his voice. He doesn’t care about the problems of the world. That isn’t his job too. And it’s unbelievably tragic that not only does he get pulled into this twice (with three years of suffering for Mia before Dulvey and then the heartache of her “murder” and Rose’s kidnapping), he then dies in the end???? He doesn’t even get the reward to live with his wife and daughter? WHAT DID ETHAN WINTERS DO TO YOU, CAPCOM!!?

also overcome? Miss me w that bullshit. Y’all blew him to smithereens.

I swear if Capcom doesn’t bring him back in some way I don’t know how I’ll proceed w this series. I love Leon and Claire and Jill a lot too but nothing like Ethan. And I’m super not interested in getting my heart ripped out every few years. Especially w a new protagonist.

Ethan is just the perfect representation of deserved better. He pays his taxes on time, probably helps that old lady down the street whose husband just died. Tells the same joke we’ve all heard a thousand times to the point only Mia and him are laughing at it. He would be there for every parent teacher conference and up at 130 with a flashlight chasing away the monsters from Rose’s closet. The world may be crazy somewhere but he’s content to just be here with his family.

And Capcom took all of that away. I don’t think I’ll ever not be angry about it.

#thanks for the ask nonnie 💜💜💜#resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil spoilers #Ethan winters #Ethan Winters Defense Club #mrs joe speaks #long post

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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years ago

Text

Cliche Mini-Series: Patronus

Draco X Reader

Requested: @shadowsingeraxolotl Okay, so they're all in 8th year or something and everyone are practicing their patronusus and they match and everyone is in awe because they are the most powerful ones they've ever seen? Like an alternate soulmark but better because they realize that Draco is so soft

A/N: Y’all sure do have a lot of cliches you want to see, so here’s the first one that sparked my interest. It will not be the last I promise, but please enjoy these two kids falling in love and healing after the war.

Okay so it’s 8th year

Everyone is a little tense, and the castle looks new but everything just feels wrong

McGonagall created an entire new wing for the 8th years so that they could get away from the haunting that the war left in the old castle

And the House Cup was done away with and first years were allowed to pick houses and others were allow to declare house-less or switched as they saw fit fight me on this I dare you

Which meant that the few 8th years who decided to come back all declared to be house-less because f*ck destiny and who they were supposed to be. They just wanted to be kids goddamnit

That doesn’t mean that you’re not a little surprised when Draco declares house-less. You thought he’d want to stay Slytherin

You catch his eyes and there’s no light in them and your heart just hurts

War was hell, and being trapped on the wrong side had to be the depths of Tartarus

McGonagall keeps a dozen Mind Healers on staff this year, for obvious reasons

Which is where you run into Draco often. You’re craving a therapy session and he has to—court mandated.

You wave and he gives you a curt nod. He’s in most of your classes now that you were both house-less so you’re peers, maybe acquaintances

True to Harry’s nature, he’s suspicious of Malfoy at all times, and well maybe you pick up a few habits of looking after Draco as well—but in a different manor

You make sure he eats, and gets to class, and stays awake in class for that matter, then you make sure he gets to bed. All by gentle questions or offering to go with him to meals or class etc (“hey, I haven’t eaten dinner, wanna come with?” “You have Flitwick with me... wanna walk together?” “It’s late, I’m sure the book will be there in the morning,” “I made too much tea, do you want some?”)

He notes your kindness but only mentions it to his Mind Healer. He’s confused as to why you’re being kind and doesn’t know if he likes it or not (he’s also a bit better with his emotions since he’s in therapy) y’all get therapy it’s amazing

“Well, you could ask her about it,” the Healer suggests. Except he didn’t understand how much Draco could not do that because he wasn’t confrontational anymore

Instead he decides to extend the same kindness to you. As an olive branch. You spill ink all over your paper in shock when he asks you to dinner. He quickly vanishes the ink with a flick of his hand

Now you two sort of get dinner together. Like all the time. It’s just something that normal and routine. You talk about your days, your classes, and Draco feels... normal. Like you’re not gawking at him, not afriad of him, you don’t hate him, and he’s pretty sure this isn’t some sort of ploy

fuck canon. Remus Lupin isn’t dead and neither is Sirius. I am the queen of this blog and my word is law.

Remus teaches DADA because he loves teaching and now that the job isn’t jinxed and McGonagall knows he needs a break from 24/7 Sirius to maintain his sanity, he teaches

And of course he adores his 8th years

He teaches a wide range of defense spells, but to pass his class with full marks all you have to do is summon a patronus. Corporeal or not.

Draco, though still quite flawless in about everything else, struggles with casting a patronus. A lot of 8th years do as well, so he’s not singled out, even if he is a bit frustrated

Remus understands that after a war this is hard for his kids, so he allows them to take a day and go to the lake instead of class for fun in the sun and to make new and safer memories

“Aren’t you coming?” You ask Draco who’s sitting alone in the common room sulking. “No,” he mutters. “Why not? Lupin is taking attendance, you have to come,”

“No, I don’t.” He snaps.

He really doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to swim. He doesn’t want to take his shirt off or wear short sleeves. He doesn’t want to be gawked at because of his Mark or his numerous scars. He’d rather save himself the panic attack.

“Come with me?” You try weakly. “You don’t have to swim. I’m not going to, but maybe just sit out there? We can read? Or talk? Or something?” You know it’s a lost cause. You sigh. “We’ll miss you Draco—I’ll miss you,” you offer a small smile and head down to the lake downcast.

And maybe Draco misses you with each step that you walk away from him. Maybe it’s so unbearable that he curses himself and you before stalking down the the lakeside beach.

Meanwhile you’re perched under a tree reading a book. “Couldn’t get him to come down huh?” Lupin asks. “Sorry Professor,” you give a weak smile. “Don’t worry about it. I know it’s gonna take Draco a bit longer to get on his feet again. In fact I’d be surprised if—” Lupin stops mid sentence.

“Professor?” You ask. “Well I’ll be a mandrakes uncle,” Lupin grins, nodding to someone in the distance. You turn and see a familiar head of white blond hair heading towards you.

Ignoring Lupin completely you jump up and run over to Draco, pulling him into a hug, before remembering yourself as you take a step away awkwardly.

“I’m glad you came,” you stammer. “Me too,” his cheeks are flushed slightly pink as you two sit under the tree together.

True to your word, you two do read. He reads some sort of wizard classic literature and you read a muggle classic: Pride and Prejudice because you need a break from magic and spells

Draco asks you about your book and you explain a bit of it to him, saying that he would probably enjoy it, despite its muggle origins. He eyes the book and you skeptically but asks if he can borrow it when you’re finished with it

You two are mostly left alone for the afternoon, except always under the watchful eye of Harry who is still convinced that Malfoy is up to something

Your patronus charm is now incorporeal. You jump excitedly and the charm falls. Draco, who’s next to you, is quite surprised by the hug he gets tackled with by a very elated you.

Which leads to more awkward blushing and apologies.

“So you and Malfoy?” Harry asks one night while you’re alone. “I... I don’t like it.” “Oh come on Harry, don’t you think if he was going to do something he would have? He’s just trying to move on like the rest of us,” your voice is venemous and cold as you glare the golden boy down.

Draco sees you and Harry talking alone at night and gets the wrong idea before rushing away not understanding why that hurt so badly. He feels betrayed. You were the one person he thought was on his side and now you were skirting around with Potter.

You notice immediately that Draco has closed himself off to you and you worry. “Is everything okay?” “Ask Potter,” Draco snaps. “You seemed pretty cozy with him the other night.”

Then it hits you. “We’re you spying on me?” The thought is quickly dismissed. “Draco, Harry came up to me bitching about you. And I told him to drop it and leave you alone because you deserve your place here like the rest of us,”

Well you hadn’t said exactly that, there was a bit more swearing involved but the sentiment was there

“You... you defended me,” he’s in disbelief. “Yes,” you groan. “Now will you stop sulking and come and get dinner with me?”

“I’ve already eaten,” he mutters. You raise an eyebrow at him. “Draco,” you press. “Please,”

“I’ll never understand how you can tell when I’m lying,” he grumbles, standing. “You don’t look me in the eye,” you laugh, walking towards the great hall.

The trips to the lake become a Friday thing for 8th years and Remus. To give the kids a break and to let them blow off a little steam.

You know Draco isn’t comfortable going again and you don’t want to either so, you talk to Lupin and work out a deal.

“Are you coming?” You ask him, dressed in your old quidditch robes. “You’re going to the lake in that?” He asks skeptically. “And no I’m not going,”

“I’m not going to the lake,” you smile, perching on the back of a couch. “So, are you coming?”

“Where are you going?” He asks. “Oh come on you’re a smart bloke, put two and two together.” You laugh and take off down the hall towards the quidditch pitch.

You’ve done a few laps when Draco joins you in the air. “This is stupid,” he declares. “Yeah,” you smile. “But it’s fun!”

Draco sighs and his resolve fades and soon he’s smiling and chasing after you in a one on one game of catch-the-snitch

And honestly it is fun. Draco’s laughing and flying with you and he almost forgets that he’s supposed to be Seeking.

And when you fly closer to him, staring into his eyes, beaming, he does everything he can to remember to keep flying. You’re inches from him. You reach out and his heart is stammering.

Then you grab something next to his head and laugh victoriously showing him the snitch.

“Oh come on that was cheating!” He whines, chasing after you towards the field floor.

“It’s not my fault you were staring at me like I was Potter!” You call back. “Although I hope you don’t hate me,” you land softly on the grass and Draco is caught off guard by your words and why would he ever hate you and he crashes into you

“Draco!” You scold, and he thinks he’s hurt you and that you’re crying but no you’re laughing hysterically beside him

“I—are you okay?” He stammers, gaping at you. “I’m fine,” you laugh sitting up. Until you put pressure on your wrist and well maybe then you’re not fine

Draco feels awful and takes you to the infirmary, letting Pomfrey heal your broken wrist. All the while the roles are reversed and you have to convince him to calm down and that you’ll be okay man that boy is a mess

“B-but I hurt you!” He exclaims. “It was an accident Draco!” You fold your arms. “I’m not mad, please don’t be mad at yourself,” your voice softens as you take his hands. “Please?”

His eyes catch yours and he nods and you smile at him.

Since this is an every week thing, you and Draco have a rivalry going on of who’s won more matches. (The smack talk and banter is real, but all in good fun. It leaves you both laughing and smiling and onlookers completely confused because “uh, he just called you slower than a spider in roller skates” “Yeah, and he knows that it’s still faster than his blond arse” “My arse has nothing to do with it” “Oh I beg to differ,”)

Winter turns to Spring and now showers are 100% necessary for you Friday afternoons after you matches with Draco.

You pause in the locker rooms after one match and notice that Draco has shed his robes and is now shirtless before you, his back turned. Your breath catches in your throat as you see the scars that paint a gruesome image on his skin.

You don’t think he knows you’re there but his tired voice barely speaks: “I know you’re staring. It-It’s okay. I’ve... I’ve come to terms with it myself. And I think I’ve come to terms with you knowing as well.”

He turns to face you, a mask of calm on his face, his eyes holding yours.

“Harry did this?” You breathe out, taking a step toward him, your hand coming up and hesitantly tracing a scar that bends around his shoulder.

“Harry, my father, my aunt... you stop keeping track after a while,” His eyes are downcast letting you know that he knows exactly what scar is from whom.

Your hand trails down and brushes over his Dark Mark. He flinches, but his eyes don’t leave yours.

“Thank you,” You whisper. “For showing me... for trusting me enough.”

Draco’s patronus is now incorporeal.

You cheer and he wraps you into a hug this time and you’re shocked for a moment before hugging him back

You’re currently tied on your catch-the-snitch matches and today marks the tie breaker and the winner it’s just too hot to keep doing it during class time in the afternoon.

“D-Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me, tomorrow?” Draco stammers one Friday afternoon. “Sure,” You smile, “A bunch of our friends are going, were you planning on not going?”

Draco purses his lips because of course you’re going to make this hard for him.

“I meant with me. Just me. As a... date?” He’s flushed bright pink and it has nothing to do with the heat.

“I thought you’d never ask,” You grin and zoom off after the snitch and he’s left chasing you wondering and asking what the hell you meant by that.

He ends up catching the snitch and is completely distracted from his victory because what did you mean you thought he’d never ask????

“Draco, stars above you’re so dense,” you dismay and grab the front of his robes and pull him over and press your lips to his

It causes him to let the snitch go and pull you closer. And maybe the two of you spend the afternoon kissing thousands of feet above the ground.

You two enter the Common Room, hand in hand and a cheer is let up as well as bet money being exchanged. Draco is flushed pink, and so are you, but you just smile and roll your eyes back Hogwarts is starting to feel like home again

And oh he absolutely spoils you at Hogsmeade the next day. And you have to admit, as much as you like gifts, it’s so much more to see him happy about buying them for you.

Harry is sulking about the entire thing, and now has been jeering at you and Draco and most times Draco stops you from punching the golden boy in the face.

“I did it to him for years,” Draco murmurs. “Doesn’t make it right,” You hiss back, glaring at Harry.

A few others take the same idea as Harry and start to taunt Draco about his long sleeves in the warm weather. Draco never rises to the bait but you can see that it wears at him. You just hold his hand a little tighter and maybe send a few wandless, nonverbal hexes their way,

It draws the line one day when Harry with a few other 8th years stop you and Draco in the halls. Draco, you can tell is close to having a panic attack because it’s not the first one of his that you’ve witnessed and you just go off

“What is wrong with you!?” You scream at Harry. “At least he’s trying to get better! At least he’s changed! You might have saved the world but you’re nothing but a bully!” There are tears in your eyes as Draco places his hands at your waist, steadying you and himself. “And maybe he would wear a t-shirt if you hadn’t tried to kill him a few years ago with Dark Magic that left its mark all over him! Did you ever think of that!?”

Harry is gaping at you, shocked. Draco pulls you down the hall and it’s not far before he’s breaking down into a panic attack in your arms. You stroke his hair as you let him cry out all his tears, then you walk him through breathing exercises and five-things-five-senses (Grounding)

After this Harry backs the fluff off (and eventually apologizes and goes to Mind Healing himself because you were right, he needed to get better too.)

You and Draco become more comfortable around another and in public. Which leads to cuddling in the common room or kissing in the halls And no one can deny that you and Draco are just sweet and perfect together

Out of the blue but not really because Harry had a hand in it Lupin talks privately to Draco about his scars and they sort of have a therapy session themselves. Sirius talks to you and gives you advice about how to help Draco through overcoming his fears and self doubt about his scars and now you two have sort of been adopted by these two dads)

It’s the last day of DADA and Lupin makes all of his 8th years cast a patronus and you and Draco do it together and everyone stares in complete and utter awe at the two dragons coiling around each other filling up almost the entire room

You and Draco are in shock too, but soon, smug smiles fall on both of your faces because, yeah... those are two souls sworn and bound to protect another. Two fighters. Two dragons.

You also tease Draco about his name and the dragon for the rest of his life which always ends with him growing frustrated and kissing you to shut you up and then the both of you get a little carried away... but it’s fine. The castle is enormous and there are plenty of empty classrooms

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @memalfoy-spidey @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @darcypotter-blog @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @okaydraco @the-queen-of-hell-things @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing @sunflowerxsadnessw @fattycooter @angelotakunerd08 @thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @strawberriesonsummer @gaysludge @cleopatera @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby @shadowsingeraxolotl @peters-legos @quillsareforwriting @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo @wollymalfoy @lilpieceoftoast @paper-cats @floweryjh @sdicapriox @slothgirl22 @peachesandpinks @hufflautia @livize75 @annie-mcl @riathearora @live-like-luna @justathoughtfulangel @coconutdawn @skteaiy @wannabeskinny-thinspo @naughtygranger @queenofmankind @dragonsandbread @abundantxadorations @moony-artnstuff @myforeveryoungblog @and-then-a-girl-with-luv @1-800-luvsick @pandas-rice-field @strawberriesonsummer @jjustsomerandomgirl @mrvlfangirl3190 @in-slytherin-we-trust @emmaa-t @introvertedrae @infinity1o1 @stoleurmomsvan @echpr @sunkissed-hufflepuff @dekulover @marshmallowtraver�� @cereuselle @lonely-skywalker @xlosttdreamss @sleepysnapesnake @hoeforthefictional @coldlilheart @helen-paris @romance-geek @rosie-starlit-sky @californiaa-babyy @vulture-withafile @hogstupefy

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xwing-baby · 4 years ago

Text

Impulse: El Ojo (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: Top of your class, the DEA have sent you to Colombia to be the poster child for their new ‘placement program’. You’re thrown in at the deep end into the drug war. With Agent Peña as your mentor, what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: swearing, injury to reader, alcohol and drug abuse, threatening with guns, brief mentions of torture, description of injury and blood, unwanted touching, flirting, bad thought processes (addiction). PINK SHIRT

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Had a little change of plan last week, this is now the final chapter of this series. I am so sad to end it now, I’ve loved writing this so much. My first time writing for Narcos so thank you so much for all the support y’all I’ve given me with this. I love you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

<-- Previous Chapter // Masterlist // Next Chapter -->

You were on a winning streak. Since you’d found the list of sicarios and matched that up with the more current information, you’d presented it to Carrillo and surprisingly he was on board. With his help, you had brought down five, admittedly low level but increasingly more valuable, sicarios. If you didn’t think about the torture and abuse each of them undertook once captured, used to break them into more telling more information, you could say you were doing a good job. Escobar’s organisation was shaking. You were coming for him.

You and Steve leant against a wall, soaking up the sunshine chatting amongst yourselves when you saw Javier arrive. You hadn’t expected him to come at all, having disappeared without a word early on in the morning. He parked his truck close by, walking over to you and Steve with his vest in hand. You grinned and jabbed Steve when you saw the shirt Javi was wearing.

The pink shirt had been a long-standing joke since you’d found it in his closet a few months ago. He had many colourful shirts, was known for them, but the pink one always seemed like another level. You and Steve teased him about it constantly, though you had to admit it did look good on him now. Javi scowled when he saw you and Steve’s mischievous grins, immediately realising his mistake.

“I know you get called the Whore of Bogata but you don’t need to dress like it! Jesus christ Javi!” You fanned yourself with your hand, grinning at him, “really I’m going to need a minute,” Javi flipped you off as you laughed hard.

“Shut up, I look great,” He grumbled.

“Just thinking about the poor flamingo you rinsed for that colour,” Steve joined in the teasing, shaking his head sadly.

“You are just jealous you could never pull this colour off,” Javi said smugly. You laughed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t come out today, could be quite distracting,” You said, pretending to be thoughtful. Javi’s frowned, only making you and Steve laugh more, “Aw don’t get pissy, Baby. We love you really” You teased him in a mocking voice, pouting at him. “You and your flamboyant choices,” You ruffled his hair up as you passed him. He tried to duck out the way but you caught him. He shoved you away, muttering expletives under his breath. You skipped a few paces out of his reach, flipped him off.

“L/n!” Somebody called your name across the street, one of the technicians you’d been talking to before Javier arrived. You left Steve and Javier to talk.

The technician explained the problem again, showing you the options for moving forward. It was quite common that things would go wrong before any kind of mission. Today was no different, the technicians had lost a signal and were now not sure that the address you had swarmed was correct.

You chewed your nails while you thought. You could risk getting the wrong house, letting the sicarios know you were on to them and you’d lose them again. You could come back another day, but risk losing them again. Or you could ransack some innocent person's house and have Carrillo on your ass for ruining his reputation in the one week he’d left you in charge.

If you messed this up it would mean your stronghold would be lost. There would be time for them to work out what was going on and move everything again.

At a loss, you excused yourself needing to take a break and a few minutes alone to think without soldiers trying to put in their two cents.

As your work life had become more stressful over the last months. You had found some relief in, ironically, coke. It wasn’t a habit you were trying to form, but you had learnt just what good taking just a little bit could do for you. It quietened down your worried brain and made you simultaneously more aware of everything. You were better when you were just a little bit high.

You had started keeping a small amount in your pocket. Hidden in a small sewing tin in your jacket pocket, you had started keeping a little coke on you especially for moments like this. You could take it, have a breather, and come back with a solution. It was fine. Nobody would know.

You’d spotted a cafe across the road, and hoped they had a restroom. You gave an excuse to the soldier you’d been talking to and walked across the street.

“Oi Rookie!” Javi called as he noticed you walk past on the opposite side of the street. “Where are you going?”

“Going to the bathroom. Women’s issues,” You called back, Javi and Steve grimaced. That was always the best excuse.

While you wouldn’t do it at the compound you didn’t have any reservation here. You’d been itching for a hit all morning and there was only so much more you could take. You walked into the cafe, asked for the direction of the restroom, and locked the door behind you once you were inside. Small, dark and stinking of pee, it was not the best place but hygiene wasn’t particularly an issue you were worried about.

You tipped a small amount from the box onto the sink counter, lined it up with a card from your pocket, bent down and took it up your nose. You grimaced, while it had burnt your nose somewhat it still stung. But it was worth it when the feeling began to kick in. You smiled at your reflection and double-checked your appearance in the mirror, wiping your nose. Nobody could ever tell.

As usual, the drug kicked your brain into gear again and everything fell into place. The raid went brilliantly, by pure coincidence you’d bagged two sicarios in one as your original target had invited your next round for dinner with his new girlfriend. Your plan well into the swing of things now, much to everyone’s surprise.

—

Like every weekend for the last three months, you were going out. The line between enemies and friends was long since blurred, hanging out with ‘Isabela’s’ friends was not an issue. Most of the time you weren’t even trying to get anything from them, you’d got what you needed months ago. As fun as Javier and Steve were, it was much more enjoyable to hang out with people your age. And they wouldn’t give you cocaine, María had it on tap.

You were dressed up, recently treating yourself to a new outfit as a job well done. A black off the shoulder top, covered in lace, and a little black mini skirt. You felt sexy, you were going to have a very good night.

“Rookie!” Javier called out to you as he came out of the apartment building. You were standing outside waiting for a taxi, smoking a cigarette.

“Javi, baby, you’re looking slick! Where are you going?” You checked him out. He wore his signature tight blue jeans and an equally tight black shirt that was almost bursting at the seams. He looked incredible, as he always did.

You were thankful that things had gone back to normal between you and Javier. The awkward stepping around each other had gone, you weren’t jealous. You acknowledged you would probably always like him a little more than was professional but that had fallen into a fun flirty banter that more than anything just wound Steve up.

You found yourself calling him Baby more than his name, it’d started as a joke to get back at him for always calling you Rookie but now it was so commonplace people had stopped picking you up on it if it slipped out while you were working.

It was fun. You cared for each other, that was clear to even a blind man, but there was no romanticism to the relationship anymore. There was no need. It wasn’t good for either of you. You’d found a comfortable rhythm and were going to stick to it.

“Out,” He shrugged, “That’s a new top,”

“You noticed?”

“Course, can’t keep my eyes off you,” He purred, happily playing along with your game.

“Thought you’d be more interested in the skirt,”

“Will you two quit it?” Steve’s voice interrupted your flirting as he walked down the stairs. You barked in laughter.

“Steve! So it’s a boys night I see? Where was my invite?”

“Figured you’d have your own plans,” Steve said.

“And you are correct Murphy but it’s always polite to ask,”

“Next time,” He assured you. “Where are you going tonight?”

“I don’t know. Some club, El Ojo or something?” You shrugged, “Seeing as this is maybe Isabela’s last time out I am going to go out with a bang, literally,” You raised an eyebrow, insinuation of your worlds made Steve roll his eyes.

You were hoping within the next few weeks to be able to close in on some higher level sicarios and associates to Escobar. Drawing the noose in slowly so he wouldn’t notice until it’d choked him. That meant your position as Isabela was going to have to come to an end to keep you safe from your own program. You’d discussed it at length with Peña and Murphy, while you didn’t agree you had to listen to them. They were still your superiors after all, no matter how close friends you were.

“If you told past you you were going to willingly sleep with a Narco I think you would have passed out,” Steve laughed.

“I’m a changed woman Murphy, what can I say,” You smirked, “Imagine what I’ll be like by the end of the year,”

“God help us,” Javier shook his head, a smirk plastered on his face. You laughed and stubbed out your cigarette with your shoe as your taxi pulled around the corner.

“Here’s my ride. Have a good night, boys. I will be back in the morning,”

—

El Ojo was just as María had told you. Modern and smoke-filled, people were filling every inch of the space. You walked in and couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face. This was exactly what you needed. Crowds were anonymous, nobody cared who you were or what you were doing. Everyone was just there for one reason, to have a good time.

You ordered a drink at the bar, flirting with the man next to you briefly before taking the drink and finding your friends. As usual, they were up in the VIP area, courtesy of the Parreño name. You walked up and were let inside the cordoned-off area to find Diego stood up on his seat, wild-eyed, shouting about something. It wasn’t until you got closer that you heard what he was saying.

“I’m telling you Isabela is lying!” He shouted above the music.

“What’s going on?” You asked. None of the ten people surrounding the booth noticed your approach, their eyes shifting awkwardly when they saw you.

“You! You’re a liar!” Diego pointed down at you, hatred burning behind his eyes.

“What is going on?” You asked again. You looked around for María, she was usually the one to step between you and Diego, but she was nowhere to be seen. This was not the kind of conversation you’d wanted for this evening.

“You were the only one to survive that raid at Carlos’,” He continued, jumping off the couch to your level, “That fucking maniac Carrillo killed everyone but you! You’re working with them, aren’t you?”

“You’ve lost it,” You rolled your eyes, “Completely lost it,”

“You don’t deny it!” He yelled. You gulped, trying not to look scared of the man but the rage in his eyes was shaking you. You stepped backwards as he advanced toward you

“You’re insane!” You laughed in his face, “I’m not a fucking spy, especially not for Carrillo,”

“Bullshit,” He spat, Suddenly he pulled a gun from his back, waving it in your face. People shouted and screamed around you, scattering as the metal glinted in the light. Your eyes remained on his, not saying a word as he pressed the barrel into your neck. You didn’t move, barely breathing, “You’re a fucking rat,” He growled.

“Diego!” Finally, María stepped in, running over when she heard the commotion. “Stop it, put it away. Idiot,” She pulled the gun from his hand, standing firmly between you and him. “Ignore him. He’s paranoid. Someone’s leaking information and he thinks it's you because he’s a jealous asshole,” Maria explained, swiftly pushing him backwards until he sat back in the booth again, “How fucking ridiculous would that be? You? A spy!”

“Insane,” You agreed through a clenched jaw. Diego continued to glare at you dangerously, leaning over to whisper something to a friend.

“I swear if we get banned from this club because of you Diego I am leaving you,” María said angrily, “Come on, I want to party,” She linked her arm through you, not caring that you were still in shock from having a gun held to you, and dragged you to the bar.

Fortunately, copious amounts of vodka and tequila were great for calming your nerves. In a few hours, you had nearly forgotten the entire ordeal. You couldn’t think about anything more than the music ringing in your ears and how good it felt dancing on the stranger behind you.

After a while, María pulled you back up to the booth where Diego and his friends were still sitting. You did your best to ignore him, chatting to one of the girls at the table instead. You laughed and did a few lines, generally relaxing into the evening. So relaxed you didn’t notice the newest member of the group until he finally addressed you.

“Don’t I know you?” You looked over and panic spread over you like a bucket of ice water over your head sobering you almost instantly. He did know you. The man before you was the first man you had arrested, almost six months ago. He must have been bailed out for jail.

“No,” You answered confidently. You didn’t lie. You didn’t know him, not really.

“Gabriel, sit down!” María cheered, “Isabela this is my cousin, Gabriel. Gabriel, Isabela,” She introduced you. Her cousin. Of course. You smiled politely, praying the dim lights would hide the nervous sweat that had overtaken you.

Gabriel looked confused but didn’t say anything if he did recognise you. Not that that would matter anyway, as soon as he spoke to Diego his memory would no doubt be jogged. If he found out you were a DEA agent you would be dead. You had to leave.

“Here take my seat, I’ve got to get some air for a minute,” You stood up, letting him take your place next to Maria. You caught Diego’s suspicious look as you walked past, spotting the nearest exit door.

Your hands were shaking, your body not sure what to do with itself. The cocaine and alcohol said to go back inside and take them all out. What was left of your rational brain was consumed by fear and kept you outside. It was bad enough if someone like Senator Parreño had suspicions about you but Diego? Gabriel? Diego had already shown he wasn’t afraid to threaten you in public. Of the two of them joined heads they would connect the dots and your cover would be blown wide open. So would you, you thought morbidly. Coke and anger never mixed well.

You took breathes of the warm summer air, leaning against the wall of the club as you tried to calm yourself down. You shouldn’t have taken the last shot, now verging over the edge of blacking out; your vision was spotty, sound not registering properly and your tongue felt heavy in your mouth.

You wondered if Steve and Javi were nearby, the fresh air having the opposite effect than you’d wanted. You would blackout and you were going to need help to get home if you did. But you didn’t recall either of the men telling you where they were going, they could be anywhere in the city.

Stumped for the moment, you decided to wait it out, lighting a cigarette hoping that might help sober you up. You pulled the packet from your purse

“Need a light?” A man appeared next to you, lighter in hand. You nodded and he flicked the flame up, you bent over and lit your cigarette between your teeth.

“Thanks,” You mumbled, turning away from him, hoping he would leave. He didn’t. Instead, the man continued to stare at you, following you into your personal space as you shuffled away from him.

“Can I help you?” You snapped, immediately getting a bad feeling about him. You crossed your arms over your chest, frowning at him.

“No need for that tone baby. Come on, I wanna talk to you,” He purred. His eyes dipped to your cleavage, a lustful look in his eyes.

“I’m not interested,” You said, stepping backwards away from the man. He seemingly didn’t hear you, continuing to get into your personal space, arms reaching out to grab your hips.

“You were interested earlier. Come on, baby,” He purred, pulling you close to him, pressing his hips against yours.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You yelled, pushing him off hard enough to make him stumble backwards.

“Fucking bitch,” He growled.

If you were sober the situation would have a very swift end. You would punch him square in the face and he would leave you alone, scuttling away with a broken jaw and a shattered ego. However, you were not in a state to do that now. He had the upper hand. All you could do was run, hoping once you were back amongst people he wouldn’t attack you. You looked up the alley, the open street was just a few feet away.

You bolted.

Unfortunately just as you didn’t have enough coordination to punch the man, you didn’t have enough to run in heels on the uneven floor. Not even ten foot away your legs wobble, heels falling into a pothole sending you forward. You fell into a dumpster, head hitting the corner of the metal with a thud. You yelped, vision going black for a moment as you lay on the concrete.

“Hey hey hey,” A man ran over, instantly scaring the man off of you. He knelt by your side and helped you up from where you’d fallen. You groaned and pushed yourself up, head throbbing harshly, warm liquid trickling down your face. Your world was spinning even with your eyes closed. “Y/n, Fuck are you okay?”

“Get off me!” You exclaimed, trying to push the stranger off, not that your shaking arms were very effective.

“Y/n hey it’s me, you’re okay!” You looked up and saw Steve through a haze of blurred vision. You squinted as something dripped over your eye. Steve then saw the cut to your head, “Oh shit,” Your eyes are glassy and blown out, you mumbled something to him and pushed yourself out of his reach again, wobbling and tipping backwards. He caught you before you hit the floor again. “Y/n what are you doing out here? Weren’t you with your friends?”

“Her brother was the first guy,” You said, your speech slurred so much Steve barely understood what you were saying.

“Rookie, you’re not making sense. What are you on about?”

“I’m so fucked,” You sighed, letting your head rollback. You giggled as the world spun.

“Yeah, I can tell, come on let’s get you home,” Steve stood up, holding his hands out to you and pulled you up to standing again.

“Where’s Peña?” You asked.

“At the bar,”

“I want to go talk to him, let’s go talk to him!” You exclaimed. You began to walk in the opposite direction, dragging Steve along by the arm. He pulled you back with ease.

“You can talk to him in the morning, we’re going home,” He insisted.

“But I have to tell him about the brother he’s going -,” Your rambling was interrupted as you threw up, barely missing Steve’s leg. He grimaced and jumped out of the way, “I have to talk to him,” You said quietly once you were done.

“Tomorrow, Kid,” He repeated himself.

You pouted, tears of frustration welling up in your eyes but you didn’t fight him. Despite how drunk you were you knew that going home would realistically be the best course of action right now. You could barely string a sentence together let alone get anything important out coherently.

Steve got you into a taxi, luckily the driver paid no attention to the blood dripping down your face. You were falling asleep on his shoulder as you pulled up to the apartment, Steve pulled you out of the car and up the stairs to the apartment. Only when he opened the door, he was met by Javier and Vanessa also on their way inside.

“Woah!” Javier instantly turned his full attention to you when he saw the state you were in, hanging onto Steve’s sleeve, “What happened?”

“Some guy tried to touch her up, she hit her head, I’ve got it covered,” Steve explained.

“Hey Baby,” You grinned, obviously giving Javi a once over.

“She doesn’t look alright,” Vanessa commented, “Did she just call you baby?”

“It’s a long story,” Javi dismissed the comment. “She doesn’t look okay,”

“I’ve got it covered. I’ll get her to throw up and get some water to sober her up,” Steve said, “We’ll be okay, won’t we Rook?”

“Fine and dandy!” You grinned.

“If you’re sure,” Javi said hesitantly. You were gone, hanging onto Steve’s arm to hold yourself up. Your eyes were blown out and blank, if you remembered anything in the morning it would be a miracle. His first reaction was to help you, not sure Steve could handle you alone. Steve wasn’t exactly sober himself, sinking a good few beers with Javier in the bar before he’d left. However, his decision was made for him as you and Steve began walking up the stairs, Vanessa’s hands were back on him and any worry was squashed as she dragged him into his apartment.

Upstairs, Steve took you into his apartment. He took you to the bathroom, sat you on top of the toilet and rooted around the medicine cabinet to find some cleaning supplies so he could patch up your bleeding head.

“Connie’s probably got something in here,” He rooted through the cabinet. Connie had gone back to Miami for the week to see her family, inconveniently right when her skills were needed. Steve’s tipsy attempt at first aid would have to do,“Ah-ha! Here we go, clean that cut out with this,”

“Ow!” You whined, flinching away from him quickly when he showed you the antiseptic bottle.

“I didn’t touch you,” Steve chuckled, “Hold still,” Carefully he poured the liquid over a cotton ball, took hold of your face in the other hand and dabbed the cotton on your cut.

“Ow! Steve that fucking hurt,” You complained, flinching away from him as the alcohol stung the wound on your head. You frowned at him, tearing up a little.

“Don’t be a baby,”

“I am a baby!” You exclaimed. Steve grabbed hold of you again, he needed to clean the wound if it was going to heal properly. You whined and hissed at him but eventually, it was clear.

“Look, all done, got the grit out,”

“Thanks, Steve,” You kissed his cheek quickly.

“You’re welcome,” He laughed awkwardly. “Come on, you can’t sleep on my toilet. Bedtime,”

“You’re not my type,” You scrunched your nose and leant away from him.

“Ouch way to break my heart Rook,” Steve chuckled, “No, you’re going to your own bed, by yourself,”

“It's so far away!” You whined.

“It's across the hall!” He copied your tone making you laugh.

Steve pulled you up from the toilet and managed to wrangle you across the hall. Half asleep, leaning into Steve before you even got inside the apartment, you fell into bed without protest. Steve pulled off your shoes, throwing them on the ground before stumbling back to his apartment to collapse in his bed.

—

Waking up in your apartment unsure of how you got there, was a strange feeling. What was even stranger was the harsh throbbing on your head. You blindly brought a hand to the sight, recoiling instantly as you touched something sore. You sat up, slowly opening your eyes to the daylight and looked at your reflection in the mirror opposite your bed.

You groaned when you saw the gash on your forehead. Dried blood sat in the creases of your neck, and underside of your jaw as well as being crusted into your hair. You tried to remember how you’d gotten the injury but came up blank. You couldn’t remember anything from the night before. Not unusual for your almost nihilistic habits, but it was concerning given the infliction.

You looked at the clock. 9 am. You’d slept in. Since you were up you decided to clean yourself up. You padded to your bathroom, wincing at the harsh light inside and the grinding sound of the extractor fan. You filled the sink with warm water and gently cleaned the blood from your face with a cloth, only once stopping to throw up into the toilet.

You showered, hot steam help clear your brain fog but not helping the cut on your forehead which now stung immensely. But that wasn’t the feeling you were concentrating on.

A new kind of hunger, one you weren’t yet familiar with had settled in on the back of your tongue. A repeating idea chanting over and over in your head. It had partly been cocaine’s fault you’d got into this mess, but it would get you out of this hangover now.

You remembered you had some in your jacket pocket from the day before, leftover. Once you’d thought about it there was no stopping you. You didn’t have to take it all, you could stop yourself if you wanted. You pulled the tin out from your coat, sit it down on your dressing table while you pulled on some clothes.

You sat back at the dressing-table again once you were done and stared at the box. You’d not done it here more than once or twice. Never by yourself. Something about being at home with it made you feel guilty, possibly because you were surrounded by your friends who also happened to be DEA agents who would kill you if they found the stuff in the building.

You picked up the box, contemplating it. You could get something done if you took it. Wouldn’t have to sit in your hungover state and wallow in self-pity until the headache left. You could go for a walk. Do nice things. Taking the cocaine would bring you nice things, as it always did.

You opened it.

“Morning,” Javier’s voice inside your apartment suddenly startled you, causing you to spill the contents of your box all over your dressing table.

“Fuck,” You swore out loud.

“Okay in there?” You regretted giving him a key. You did not need the interruption. His voice snapped you back to reality. You decided you didn’t have time, or rather not wanting to be caught red-handed, you decided to leave it and greet your surprise guest.

“Good morning,” You said brightly, opening and closing your bedroom door tightly behind you. Javier was standing in the middle of your living room, a book in hand flicking through it. He discarded it back to the coffee table where he’d found it when you appeared.

“Just wanted to check you were alright, you looked rough last night,” Javi said, “that cut looks sore,”

“It stings but it’ll be ok in a few days,” You shrugged. Javi looked at you strangely, “Did you come up here for something?” You asked.

“You don’t remember what today is?” He asked. You frowned and thought for a moment.

“It’s your birthday?” You asked slowly.

“No,”

“It’s my birthday?”

“I don’t know when you’re birthday is,”

“Javi I’ve obviously forgotten please just tell me,” You pleaded.

“Searchblok, you and Steve swapped. Remember?”

“Shit!” You exclaimed. How could you have forgotten?! You scrambled back into your room to get changed, boxer shorts and a hole-ridden t-shirt wouldn’t cut it.

“I should write you up for the mess you were in last night,” He called through the door as you rushed to get dressed, pulling on the nearest jeans on your floor. That’s not the only thing you should write me up for, you thought looking at the cocaine on your dressing table.

“I should write you up for sleeping with hookers,” You said back.

“Nowhere in my contract does it say I can’t! You however have a reckless behaviour clause,” He said. Your heart stopped at that, opening the door quickly to pop your head out.

“Javi-“

“I’m joking Rook, don’t worry!” Javier laughed. You rolled your eyes and shut the door again, pulling on a fresh shirt. A few seconds later you stepped out, buttoning the last of the clasps on your shirt. “I was worried about you but you’re fine so we’ll forget it ever happened,”

“Thanks, Baby,” You grinned at him. Javi rolled his eyes.

“You need to stop that though,”

“You love it,” You teased him. He didn’t reply, turning on his heel and walking out. You hesitated for a moment, glancing back at your bedroom door. The coke was still lined up in there, calling to you. It would only take a few seconds to do it and get rid of your hangover for a few hours.

“Rookie, hurry up!” Javi called you from the hallway, audibly impatient. You decided against it, grabbing your keys and a jacket and running to catch up with him. He was already waiting by the truck by the time you got downstairs. “Did anything interesting happen last night, then?” Javi asked. You tried to think for a moment, you remembered something important had happened, something you’d wanted to tell him last night but you couldn’t remember what. You shrugged.

“Apart from getting this,” You gestured to the injury to your forehead, “I can’t remember. There was something but I don’t know,”

“Can’t have been very important then,” Javi added. You shrugged and shook your head.

“Guess not,”

Next Chapter -->

Finally we’ve come full circle, I am so sad it’s over I have absolutely loved writing this series. Again I want to say a massive thank you to everyone’s that read the series, it means more than you could imagine. I love you all. I’m going to have a cry and make a start on all the other things I’ve been neglecting to write this.

The ending is already written and posted so if you haven’t read it go enjoy :))

tag list: @beskar-falcon @peterssweetpea @beskarbabs @all-hallows-evie @harrys-stan @wille-zarr @danniburgh @rentheisopod @urbankaite2 @whataloadofmalarkey @ahsofka @yeetus-my-feetus @sara-alonso @xiao-lusi @all-good-things-have-an-ending @eternallyvenus @ajeff855 @mayangel19 @1950schick @pedrosmustache @wantingtobekorra @balmasedas @angelsunflxwer @brujademente @kingsmanandqueens @igotissueswithfictionalmen

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your-eternal-muse · 4 years ago

Text

Wish I Were....

Heather Series Chapter 12 (FINAL PART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader no longer wishes she were someone else

Words: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Birth, just pure, tooth aching fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Y/N: This is it y’all. This is the final chapter of the Heather's Series. I started this journey a little over a month ago, and my god, has it been amazing. I never thought it would pick up the traction it did, and I am so glad I decided to start posting in the first place. I’m gonna take a short break from posting any writing just to recuperate and stuff, but it won’t last longer than a week, and I will still be interacting on the platform itself. I want to thank every single reader who has liked and/or reblogged my work. It means so much to me, and I would not have gotten this far without your support. I love you all with all of my heart. There will be one more bonus “chapter” that I will be posting within the next couple days, but it’ll be mostly headcanons, and answering any questions you may have about the series. I hope the ending is worth it.

With love, your eternal muse,

Frankie <3

~~~~~

I used to be a night owl.

I used to live in the night, sit under the stars and soak it all up.

I used to not go to bed until hours after the sunset, perfectly content to not waking up until hours after it had risen.

Now, I’m lucky to sleep for a few hours between dusk and dawn.

But I’m okay with that.

The ringing of trembling tears echoes through my ears, and I stir awake.

I rub my face, looking at the clock as I push back the comforter.

4 am.

Oh goody.

“I’ve got her baby, go back to sleep.”

Spencer whispers in my ear, planting a kiss on my shoulder, and I’m not one to argue.

I fall back into the pillows, pulling the blanket back up to my chin, my eyes closing without much resistance.

I wake an hour late, expecting to feel his body warmth against my back.

I turn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, realizing that the blanket is still pulled back from when he got up the hour before.

Oh dear lord please tell me she didn’t get sick.

I climb out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the soft glow of light emitting from her room.

I pause at the doorway, watching as he holds her close to his chest, a smile draped across his face.

I can’t help but stand and watch as he sways back and forth, watching her sleep in his arms.

I notice her tiny hand is clasped around his ring finger, the gold of his wedding band glowing in the dim light.

I love that ring on him.

I never thought I’d be the one to put it on him.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

Why am I so nervous?

He’s not going to leave me stranded.

Right?

Jesus, get a grip, y/n.

“Are you ready y/n?” Hotch walks around the corner, fixing his cuff links as he walks up to me.

I take a deep breath in, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to throw up.

“Yep. I’m ready, I just….” I fan myself. “Is it normal to feel like you’re going to pass out on your wedding day?”

He smiles, coming forward and taking hold of my hand. “It is. And I guarantee you, he’s worse than you are.”

I laugh, just imagining the state he’s in.

He hasn’t seen me in three days, since I’m a stickler for tradition.

It was my bachelorette party, than his bachelor party, and now here we are.

“When Haley and I got married, I was a nervous wreck. I don’t think I took a normal breath until hours after just because I was so worried about everything going to plan.”

He brushes some of the curls framing my face out of my eye sight.

“But, when I met her eyes, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was just us, and I knew, at that moment, that everything would be okay.”

I nod, exhaling. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He loops my arm through his, turning to the closed doors where my future waits for me.

“Thank you, Aaron. For giving me away. You’re the closest thing to a father I’ve got.”

He pats my hand. “It’s my honor, y/n.”

I hear the start of the music, and my heart jump starts.

I grip his arm, trying to control my breathing.

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.”

The doors open, and for a moment, I panic.

But then my eyes meet his.

And everything else disappears.

His hands are clasped in front of him, and I see him look me over, taking in everything.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and god, I never realized how much I missed him when he’s gone.

We reach the altar, where a proud Rossi stands, and Hotch hands me off with a kiss to my cheek.

I hand JJ my flowers, turning clasping Spencer's hands in mine.

When my hand touches his, my breathing returns to normal.

However, before I even notice, JJ is handing me a folded piece of paper that holds my vows.

Weddings always seem longer when you’re not in them.

I unfold the paper, clearing my throat.

“I don’t have an eidetic memory, so I need this so I don’t make a fool of myself.”

A couple laughs from the crowd.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“The first time I saw you, you were sitting at your desk, while Derek and JJ sat around you, watching you explain the scientific inaccuracies of Star Wars.”

He laughs, and Derek pats his shoulder from behind him.

“I was awestruck to say the least. The way your eyes lit up with excitement, how your hands couldn’t stay still.”

I take a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I fell in love with you at that moment. But I knew I was done for when you looked at me for the first time.”

Rossi produces a tissue from his pocket, and I laugh, accepting and blotting at my tears.

“You are my best friend. You are there for me in my darkest times, and are often the cause of all my light ones. You hold me when I cry, and you laugh when I’m angry at something stupid. You never make me feel stupid. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.”

Christ, why was this so hard?

“I love you. And I promise to cherish you, and not get annoyed when you ramble on about god knows what, because I love to listen to you talk. I promise to never make you feel like you don’t matter, because you matter so much. I promise to love you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until the end of time itself. I choose you, forever and always.”

I fold the paper up again, dabbing away my tears.

“Well, look at that, I still made a fool of myself.”

More laughs, and I hear a few sniffles here and there.

Spencer wipes his own eyes. “I don’t know if I can top that.”

I giggle.

He goes into his jacket, and pulls out a white envelope, and my face scrunches in confusion.

“It’s not what you think it is.” He whispers.

He opens it, pulling out a car, and begins to read from the inside.

“You told me once, in a card similar to this one, that the moment you admitted to yourself that you loved me, was on a road trip to visit my mom. I thought it fitting that I tell you that, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I loved you in the same way. So here we are.”

I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the ugly sobs that threaten to spill out.

“We had only known each other for a month, but you were easily taking over every brain cell in my mind. I was terrified of you saying no, but I asked anyway. Those two weeks were some of the best of my life. I fell in love with your laugh, your smile, the way your hair looks in the sunlight. I fell in love with you from the driver's seat and I’ve loved you ever since. You deserve to be reminded of that every day for the rest of your life. I promise to hold and cherish the heart that you have given me. I promise to catch you, every time you run away. I promise to protect you with my life. You mean everything to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you. I love you, forever and always.”

He closes it, and it takes a moment for me to gather myself.

“I promise I didn’t look at your vows before writing mine.”

I laugh.

Rossi clears his throat. “The rings please, Henry.”

Henry walks forward, our rings sitting on the pillow as he smiles at us.

“Thank you buddy.” I say, taking hold of Spencer’s between my fingers.

“Alright. Y/n, repeat after me. I, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid, to be my husband.”

I repeat the words, a smile growing bigger and bigger on my face.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until the end of time.”

Can I kiss him yet?

I say the words, like casting a spell, before slipping the golden band onto his finger.

Rossi repeats the phrase, and Spencer’s smile is as big as mine, if not bigger.

“Until the end of time.”

He delicately slips the ring on my finger, and my heart starts pounding.

“One more question for each of you. I promise, we're almost there.”

He smiles at each of us, before turning back to me.

“Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Not even a question.

“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/n Y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

I start bouncing on my toes, too excited to care.

“Then it is my great pleasure and honor to pronounce you, husband and wife.”

He turns to Spencer. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cradling my face in his hands as he places his lips on mine.

It’s just me and him, in an empty room.

I move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

It’s only when we break, that I remember people are here, and the room is filled with applause.

With our hands clasped together we walk back down the aisle, and I swear I am never going to be this happy ever again. And that’s okay.

My eyes fall from his arms, to the dresser sitting next to her crib.

The top is covered with photos, personalized trinkets, and books.

One picture is framed with her name in gold lettering down the side.

My first sonogram.

Through the glass I can see wrinkles in the film.

Spencer carried it with him until the day she was born.

He had always mentioned how he wanted to have kids someday.

It didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him, though.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Is this Mrs. Y/n Reid?”

I stop writing, my pen mid stroke on my paper.

“This is she.”

“Hello! This is Nicole calling from United Health with the results of your pregnancy test.”

Jesus that was fast.

“Oh! That was quicker than I expected.”

I set my pen down, closing my file, pushing some hair behind my ear, looking around to see if anyone was in ear shot.

They weren’t.

“We get that a lot. But, I’d like to say congratulations! You are pregnant!”

I stop breathing for a moment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you!”

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

“You’re so welcome! Congratulations again! Have a great rest of your day!”

I hang up, still trying to grasp the words that have just been spoken to me.

I’m pregnant.

I’m fucking pregnant.

Holy fuck.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I snap out of my daze to see Spencer standing beside my desk, a look of skeptical worry on his face.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Um…”

I have to tell him. I can’t keep this a secret from him, even if I wanted to try and surprise him.

I stand, running my hands over my pants.

“Okay, somethings wrong. You do that when you’re nervous.”

I can’t help but laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothings wrong, Spence. Um, I just got a call from United Health.”

He’s confused, setting the file in his hand, down on my desk.

“Why would United Health be calling you?”

There are days when I can't believe he has an I.Q. of 187.

“I went in yesterday, to get a test done. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been getting sick in the mornings. I also skipped my last period.”

I can sense the wheels beginning to turn in his head.

“Wait. Are you…”

I nod, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Spencer.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in his brain, but then he’s yelling in excitement, throwing his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around.

He sets me down, his eyes red rimmed, his smile one I will never forget.

“You’re pregnant. Oh my god we’re having a baby.”

His hands are placed on either side of my face, and I can’t help but laugh at his infectious excitement.

“Who’s having a baby, now?”

Derek walks up, and Spencer turns, and I know Derek knows just by the shit eating grin on Spencer’s face.

But I just love saying it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes light up as he claps his hands together, before pulling Spencer into a hug. “My man!”

JJ and Emily gather around, all smiles and squeals as I’m captured in the middle of a group hug.

Penelope walks into the bullpen then, confusion written across her face.

“What’s going on out here? Why are you guys screaming? Who won the lottery?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“I’m pregnant!” I all but scream.

Penelope’s expression changes in an instant as she practically runs forward.

“Oh my god! Holy crap! Baby genius! That’s so much better than the lottery!”

She catches me in a bone crushing hug before suddenly pulling back.

“Crap. Sorry. Fragile baby.”

“Congratulations baby girl.” Derek swaps places with Penelope, who is now hugging Spencer with everything she has.

“Alright, why are you guys hugging each other?”

Rossi and Hotch walk through the glass doors, taking in the commotion.

I feel Spencer wrap his arms around me from behind, as he kisses my shoulder, my neck, my cheek.

“I’m pregnant!”

A smile immediately forms on Rossi’s face as he comes forward, grasping my face between his hands, kissing me on each of my cheeks.

“Congratulations, principessa.”

“Congratulations, to both of you.”

Hotch is smiling, waiting his turn to give hugs.

“It’s decided, celebratory dinner at my place tonight!” Rossi announces and we all cheer.

I turn my head, placing my hands over Spencer’s which are now resting over my stomach.

“I love you.” I smile.

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

Soft humming breaks the silence of the room, and quiet words float through the air as he sings to her sleeping form.

“Come Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up she goes, up she goes.”

I enter the room then, tip toeing over to stand by his side, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gently stroke her hair.

“Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh! My! The moon is on fire! Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up, all on, goodbye!”

She’s tiny.

I couldn’t fathom how tiny she was a month ago, and she has grown, but she’s still so small.

Has it already been a month?

“Jesus fuck, I promised myself this wouldn’t happen at work.”

I shouldn’t have come in.

I know that.

I know that waking up with contractions is a tell tale sign that you should not go to work.

But she isn’t due for another two weeks. Two weeks is a long time. Hopefully enough time to get a grip on myself so I don’t panic that I’m gonna fail as a mother every time I think about it too hard.

I thought maybe I could just get through the day, but the warm stream trickling down my leg is a big fuck no to that.

I’m trying to steady my breathing, the cup of tea I was making abandoned on the counter as I grip the edge with a force I didn’t know I had.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Hotch walks up, worry creasing his brow.

He places a hand on my back, a comfort as pain ripples up and down my spine.

I shake my head. “I need Spencer.”

I shift my weight from leg to leg. “And a towel.”

He nods his head, looking around for a chair, frowning when he comes up empty.

“Aaron,” I say, turning my head towards him. “Please go get my husband.”

“Right.” He nods, taking a second to make sure I wasn’t going to topple over before almost running towards Penelope's bat cave.

A hiss escapes my mouth as I feel a jab in my side.

“Yeah, I know baby, I wish he would hurry the fuck up too.”

A plethora of footsteps fall upon my ears, and Spencer immediately places a hand on my lower back, taking hold of mine with his other.

“How far apart are they?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’m fine, honey, thanks for asking.” I say as we start to make our way towards the front glass doors.

He gives me a look and I sigh.

“I don’t know. I thought if I didn’t count they’d go away and I could pretend this isn’t happening at work.”

“I wish it worked like that.” JJ laughs, holding open the door and what I presume is my go bag.

“Me too.” I grit, squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“Remember our deal. Not one statistic, or fact is to be uttered from your mouth today. You are not a doctor once we enter the hospital.”

I can see the panic start to form on his face, but he laughs.

“Yes ma’am.”

~~~

I’m never doing this again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain before.

I’ve been in this room for what feels like forever, because she’s taking her sweet time being early.

No amount of pillows or soothing rubs can help the aches that are washing over me.

My hair is falling from the bun I threw it up in, sweat coating every inch of skin I have.

I feel gross in every sense of the word.

I lean forward and groan as another contraction rips through me.

How do women do this?

Spencer brushes some hair out of my face and lays a cool washcloth on my neck as I grip the side rails of my bed.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

It feels like I can’t breath.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He knows there’s not much he can do right now to help, but he holds my hand, trailing his hand up and down my back.

“Just a little bit longer. I promise. She’s almost here. You’re doing so good, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”

If only he knew about the panic flowing through my veins, the thoughts that I’m not ready to be a mom bouncing around my skull like an insistent headache.

A knock at the door, and my doctor walks in, smiles and bright eyes. “How are you feeling, y/n?”

“Like a,” I groan, trying to move away from the pain, shifting forward and backwards. “Like a million bucks.”

She laughs, and I don’t have the energy to be nice and laugh with her.

“Well, I still need to check, but I’m pretty sure you’re ready to push.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to look as she sticks her fingers in a place that will need some R&R after this.

“I was right. You’re ready. Now, your body knows exactly what to do. It’s best to not fight it, and just listen to what it’s telling you okay?”

I start to move myself back away from her, my breathing picking up pace.

I can’t do this.

“No. No. I can’t. I’m not ready.”

She doesn’t seem phased at all, but Spencer easily notices the fear in my voice.

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Look at me.” His hands stroke the sides of my face, and his fingers are wet from my tears and sweat.

I shake my head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not ready. What if I fail? I don’t want to fail her. I can’t. No. I’m gonna be a horrible mother.”

“Y/n, baby, breath with me.” He takes my hand, and places it on his chest.

I can feel his breaths beneath his breastbone, the frantic heartbeats that give away his true state of mind.

I hate that I’m stressing him out.

“You are going to be a great mother. One of the best. I don’t think you could fail even if you tried.”

He brushes my tears away. “But you can’t force your body to stop. You need to let go. I’m right here.”

“Alright, were ready, y/n.”

My eyes pass between Spencer’s and I know he’s right.

I just need to let go.

I nod, and I move back to where I was.

My left hand grips the rail, while my right is situated inside Spencer’s.

I feel the next contraction start.

“Alright I need you to push for me.”

I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, but I take a breath and let my muscles do the work.

I hear that groaning and screaming can actually help, so that’s what I do.

With every push, my voice grows louder, words lost in the back of my throat.

But I’m getting tired, and I can feel myself crashing.

So when another contraction pulses through me, I push myself forward, and use every muscle in my body.

“Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!”

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud, but it seemed to work.

It felt like a gush and then crys fill the room.

I fall back onto the bed, tears streaming down my face.

“She’s beautiful!” I hear my doctor say over her screams.

Spencer kisses my forehead, his own tears coating his face. “You were amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Here she is!”

My doctor lays a bundle of white blankets onto my chest, and when I see her face, my heart stops.

The world could be burning around me, but I wouldn’t care. Even covered in gunk and red faced, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I sob, holding her close to me, Spencer right there beside me, his hand gently stroking the top of her head.

“Hi, Ettie.” I whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

I can’t take my eyes off her. I never want to let go of her.

Nothing else matters anymore, nothing but her.

Juliet Diana Reid.

Born at 6:08 am, on the third of December.

He places her in my arms, and I clutch her close to my chest as I move back towards her crib to lay her down again.

I don’t understand how I could have ever doubted how amazing my life would be with her in it.

Soft snores emit from her small mouth, and Spencer wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, only moving when he hears me sniffle.

“Why are you crying, love?” he whispers

I wipe my face, turning around so I can face him.

His hands are on my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin.

“For so long, I was jealous of so many people.” My hands play with the fabric of his t-shirt, rubbing it between my fingers.

“I was jealous of Heather. Of what she had.”

My hands move up his chest, coming to rest at the base of his neck.

“I dreamed about this. About having this with you. And I never thought I would get it. But here I am.”

I smile up at him. “I have everything I have ever wanted. I wouldn’t wish for another life even if it was offered. I have you, and Ettie, and the life I wanted so bad. I’m just…”

I swallow the noise threatening to spill from my throat, so I don’t wake up the sleeping girl behind me.

“I’m just really happy is all.”

He smiles softly down at me, and he brings up a hand to cup my cheek.

He leans down and kisses me slowly, gently, in a way that always leaves me paralyzed.

“I love you.” He whispers.

I nuzzle my nose against his, before laying my head against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him.

“I love you, too.”

I love you, Spencer.

I love you.

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