#xieyaohuan

[telperinquaar]

Noirlander

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Noir was his mentor, of course. That didn't develop into feelings until later, but that's how it started.

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Homelander was, I think, impressed by Noir, if for no other reason than Noir had the experience and credentials that he himself lacked. (Mirrorlander, of course, saw him as a threat, but that wore off when Noir offered to help him out.) Noir, on the other hand, saw this wide-eyed (and quite frankly terrified) naive kid getting worked over by Madelyn and decided NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT and decided "Welp, this is my son now"

3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Canonically, of course, they don't get together. In my little AU though, nobody cares as long as Homelander is leaving them alone. (And of course everyone is too afraid of Noir to say anything :'( )

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Noir, although I'm not sure either of them are emotionally aware enough to realize they're in love. I don't think Homelander would realize that he had a boyfriend (in a similar way that I don't think he ever thought of Stillwell as a girlfriend) and I'm not sure Noir could articulate what exactly was happening with his feelings--the mixture of parental/platonic/brotherly/romantic love baffles him. If asked, he just shrugs and says he loves the Homelander, and then goes back to his doodles.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Nah. Like I said, I don't think either of them actually realized there were feelings like that.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Noir would just shrug; he doesn't believe in soul mates. Homelander would make That Face. You know the one.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

I think both of them would both be far more ensnared in Vought. Homelander would have been completely at the mercy of Stillwell, and Noir would have simply become Stan Edgar's lapdog.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Okay so I've got this whole little AU where Noir lives (you can see it on my AO3) and that's what I'm going with 😤 Neither of them did. Noir intended to leave, but didn't make it out of the building before turning back around and showing Homelader exactly what Soldier Boy had done to him. The night before the showdown, they had sex in an effort to comfort both themselves and each other. Although thinking about it, Homey moved in for the kiss first 🤔

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Not really. They're not actually aware they're in a relationship 😭

3. What was their first kiss like?

Noir was terrified because he had his mask off and I'm not sure Homelander was sure he was going to do it. (They obviously enjoyed it though.)

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

They were both each other's first experience with a man. Noir, dealing with his own traumatic childhood and self-esteem issues, hadn't ever actually had a relationship before at all.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Noir is 6'3". Homelander is 5'11". Noir is in his early 70s, and Homelander is almost 40.

6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Noir was more than happy to put Soldier Boy back in the box, and he absolutely adores Ryan. He also doesn't have any family for Homelander to get to know.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Homelander, obviously. It's easier to take the lead if you're the only one who can talk.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Again, Homelander. But Noir doesn't have any (real) relationships besides Noir, so there's not really anything for him to get jealous over. 😭

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Noir literally cannot speak so once again, Homelander 😭

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Noir, although they both flash each other the sign fairly regularly.

2. What are their primary love languages?

Noir shows his love by... what do you call it. Acts of service. He actually knows how to cook (although he's got his own way of doing things) and likes to make people meals. Homelander does have to check on him though, because the only thing worse than dissociation in the kitchen is dissociation in the kitchen while the stove is on. Homelander is... he listens to Noir, asks questions, engages with him, and makes Noir a part of his life. His love language is treating someone as an equal, even though (to him) they wouldn't be otherwise.

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Neither of them.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

In public? They don't. In private though, they're very touchy.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Generally Noir. There have been a few times that Homeland has tried initiating smooches when Noir was zoned out and it... did not end well. 😭

6. Who’s the big and little spoon?

They switch. Noir likes being the big spoon though. He sees Homelander as his responsibility, and when Homey's little body is curled up against his, he feels like he's actually able to protect him.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

They enjoy playing with Ryan. It makes them feel as close to a normal family as they're ever gonna get.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Noir is better at it simply because Homelander has the emotional skills of a potato. He tries though, and for Noir, that's enough.

9. Who’s more protective?

Oh, both of them. The most frustrating thing is that there's only so much each of them can do for the other.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical, absolutely. Noir loves the way that touch makes him feel less monstrous and scary, and Homelander is just a very tactile guy.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

I don't really do this whoops 😭

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Again, they don't really do that, whoops

13. Who remembers the little things?

Homelander remembers things like dates, anniversaries, etc. Noir generally just has a vague idea of what day it is. But he remembers things like if you offhandedly said you liked a movie or a certain type of music. They both remember little things, just... different little things.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Time to break out the Momlander and Dad Noir AU (ft. nonbinary Homelander) Noir proposed. Homelander got pregante and Noir proposed a publicity wedding. It was meant to help keep Homelander's ratings up, as well as protect her reputation from the fact that she was having a baby out of wedlock.. It very much started off as a "fake relationship" thing.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

It's a very thrown-together affair, just something so there are photos for the news. They literally just wear their costumes and a bridal veil and tie. There were other members of the Seven, a few other big-name supes, and some Vought employees and and actors who filled out the world's strictest NDAs.

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Just Ryan, and he's... Ryan. He's a sweet kid who's a little shy. They've done their best to keep him out of the paparazzi, to the point where they actually do keep a house in the suburbs they retreat to. Neither parent enjoys going out in civvies, but Ryan is their precious perfect angel bab and they would do anything for him. 😔❤

4. Do they have any pets?

Ryan has an incredibly fancy aquarium when he's staying at the Tower. A gift from Uncle Kevin. He takes care of them when Ryan is off being a normal child. (The Homelander is not happy about this, but see question 3.)

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

Probably Homelander, simply because she... doesn't exactly know better. But she tries, and Noir manages to be a counterbalance to that so it generally works out okay.

6. Who worries the most?

They both worry 😭 Noir is worried that he's going to accidentally hurt Ryan--he barely held him at all at first--and Homelander is afraid that she'll screw him up. But again, their worries and strengths help balance the other one out, and things work out fine because it's my story and I said so :@

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Homelander would kill them, Noir would ignore them, but Ryan was very intent on the fact that they should take them outside, so lately, that's what they've been doing.

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

In addition to having their little suburban home, they've also got a cabin out in a more rural area, which is where they go to celebrate holidays, especially the ones involving fireworks.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Oh they both do this. Noir was very sure to teach Ryan about Saturday Morning Cartoons so that they could get just a bit more sleep. :'(

10. Who’s the better cook?

Noir, but Homelander is learning.

11. Who likes to dance?

Noir, obviously. Look at those moves 😭

(questions)

[tearueful]

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog <3

Fuck, uh.

3 more facts.

I use to hang out at a BDSM and play Cards Against humanity.

2. I use to work for the Library of Congress, the DC site and the SUPER(Not) secret site in the side of a mountain with their super creepy cold vaults with all this nitrate film.

3. According to my grandmother, I purred when I was a baby cause the 3-legged cat my family owned would climb into the crib and cuddle me.

[jethrowest]

✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

thank you so much!! between you, @deliciouskeys and @bisexualhomelander i am well-fed by in-depth and intriguing meta. love seeing you on my dash!! 🥹🥰

[devilander]

✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

thank you, you're too kind and wonderful 💕

[sehtoast]

✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

YOURE WONDERFUL

THE WONDERFULLEST

[deliciouskeys]

Holy fuck. @xieyaohuan and I are yappers. This is very much unplanned freestyle stream of consciousness conversation about Homelander and Homelander-adjacent things. No promises on the quality, but I thought the conversational flow was pretty good. Topics are timestamped (do not look at the total time, please).

And apologies for the laptop microphone (sounds like at least one of us is speaking out of a jar and no in silico dialogue enhancement could rescue it). I only have one good microphone and that would not work for a 2 way conversation -_-

00:00:00:00 We are recording a podcast, apparently

00:00:57:07 How we discovered The Boys

00:05:40:01 How we became obsessed with Homelander

00:13:28:20 Madelyn Stillwell

00:16:01:14 Nerfing of powers

00:16:57:03 How Xieyaohuan started writing fic

00:20:06:06 How Deliciouskeys started writing fic

00:27:48:15 Deliciouskeys’ previous fandoms compared to The Boys fandom

00:29:52:17 Xieyaohuan’s previous fandoms compared to the boys fandom

00:37:33:02 Reading incoming questions live

00:40:13:00 When did Butchlander click for us

00:47:47:12 Xieyaohuan’s ao3 name: Frenchcroatiansquid

00:50:36:00 “Fears” about season 5

00:56:46:01 Kripke’s idea for an ending (and puritanism)

01:00:14:24 Morality of The Boys as revealed by Termite scenes (yeah...)

01:03:40:02 Homelander getting depowered ending, supe culture wars

01:08:24:20 Homelander & Ryan

01:16:36:14 Billy Butcher’s ending

01:20:31:13 Mothers

01:23:46:27 How fandom has affected our real life

01:28:04:01 Sticking around until the end of a franchise

01:30:06:06 What's stalling Xieyaohuan's fic All God’s Children Took Their Toll

01:36:05:11 What's stalling Deliciouskeys' fic The Selfish Gene

01:43:16:17 Homelander’s behavior in the B6 lab

01:47:46:17 Maevelander

01:50:22:20 Homelander’s various parents

02:00:37:06 Back to Maeve

02:05:27:16 Starlander

02:07:48:07 Viclander

02:09:24:21 Sagelander

02:18:57:17 Soldier Boy x homelander

02:20:38:14 NOTP’s (if there are any)

02:26:16:18 Hughlander

02:27:27:12 Firelander

02:32:35:27 We attempt to come up with underutilized tropes in HL fics

02:36:52:27 Beccalander

02:41:20:06 Homelander x Todd

02:42:49:02 Would we be fans of Homelander within-universe?

02:44:49:14 Homelander-is-a-nerd fanon theory

02:47:34:18 Public vs private display in Homelander’s apartment

02:50:22:14 Kripke’s heavy hand with themes

02:51:29:13 Favorite scene of season 3 and 4

02:53:08:14 In conclusion, we are yappers about The Boys

[merry-andrews]

THE MUN AS MEMES! exactly what it says on the tin. post 6+ memes that you, the mun behind the screen, can relate to so that we can get to know you a little better!

Tagged by: my dear, sweet, darling, my tumblr crush, my favourite blogger, this amazing human being @vergeltvng 🖤

Tagging: (my rp friends) @traumamor (my cutie!) @thcrealheroes @vghtsupes @antioceas @iobartach @astridnorddottir @burnmemories @tracingink @twiicetheheart @chaosfindsaway @chaoticjoke @rottingkiss @soulxremains @mo-mo-and-porkchop @feralweapon @inhumanhacker @a-muscle-the-size-of-your-fist @joyfulmagic @omniterror @shieldshawk @someflareoutwithlove @fandomtheferret @h-a-unted @dollhidden @jigsawscarred @vyrulent and dear @eutz !!!💜

(My fandom friends!) @deliciouskeys (my love!) @xieyaohuan @darthdisco @edwardnashtons @esperata @newlacesleeves @gottaread2 @hija-ck @hotmessteaparty @kosmochlor @bisexualhomelander @blastedheadhk @lady-hammerlock @plague-cattle-burial-ground @russolaw @tokillaking13 @himelander @angelicvee @v0rdell @vimesbootstheory and my dear @vanshoundd !

[telperinquaar]

@xieyaohuan

That's adorable but also makes a decent amount of sense! Regional accents affecting both how a person says a word and how they read it!

Also that's hilarious about your "alter ego" 😭 Are those by someone who has the "misspelled" version of your name, or do you actually have some stuff published? 🤔

[cozycornerevents]

Cozy Corner Domaystic

Inspired by Domaystic, this Cozy Corner event celebrates fic/art/edits/etc. that shows the caped blorbo in everyday life situations. That includes some classic domestic trope and potentially fluffy prompts, but because we all love to see Homelander in situations, I've also added plenty of everyday hassles.

The event includes 31 prompts, one for each day of May (though you don't have to stick to the order), plus a few alternatives for those who want to fill 31 prompts but find no inspiration in some of the main prompts.

A big thank you to @bisexualhomelander for brainstorming prompts with me -- and especially for coming up with the glorious "mundane use of powers" prompt!

As always, rules are minimal. Fill however many prompts you want, in whichever order you want, with whatever medium you like: fic, art, headcanons, gif sets, video edits, etc. Fills can be for a ship or for gen, and most of the prompts are sufficiently ambiguous to allow for either. You can also combine prompts and fill a prompt twice if you feel particularly inspired.

As a general tag for the prompt fills and so I can find and reblog them, I would suggest #cozy corner domaystic. All fills will be reblogged to the freshly renamed @cozycornerevents blog (unless you say that you don't want reblogs, of course). You can start filling prompts before May 1, but I won't be checking the tag as regularly until the beginning of May.

If you have any questions, drop me a line here on this blog or over @xieyaohuan!

Prompt list

Morning routine

Making tea/coffee for a loved one

Grocery shopping

Fighting for the remote control

Zoom call

Laundry

Thunderstorm

Skin care

Crossword puzzle

Mundane use of powers

Unexpected gifts

Sourdough starter

Sharing a toothbrush

Somebody is wrong on the internet

Taking a flight

Going through immigration

Parallel parking

Snow day

Filing taxes

Glorious Five Year Plan

Road trip

Noise complaint

Coupons

OCD

Correct use of capes

Identity theft

Biphasic sleep

Fireworks

Peace offering

Doing the dishes

Calling in sick

Alternative prompts:

"Are you coming to bed?"

"You forgot to turn the light off."

“Oh, what's this?"

"I'm not wearing that."

"It's your turn to do dishes tonight."

"Ryan's teacher called."

"Where are my keys?"

"You're bleeding."

"You forgot the milk."

"We'll be late."

[blindmagdalena]

Anyone else hl content you recommend?

YEAH absolutely!

x reader/oc writers i recommend: @venus-haze | @hom3landr | @sehtoast | @theonlymanintheskyisme | @themeraldee

@irenadel | @jethrowest | @digitalbath2008 | @homelanderbutbig | @devilander

@andrigyn | @moopiter | @teastainedprose | @flaggermuser

also check out possumbones' works on AO3. they're the reason i started writing x reader fic! 🖤

bonus blogs for general homelander content/meta/fics: @xieyaohuan | @deliciouskeys | @homeb0ys ( their rp blog @hom3land3r too! )

@kosmochlor | @bisexualhomelander

i get anxious doing recs because i'm sure i've missed some folks but these are the most active blogs that came to mind when i think of being geared specifically towards Homelander, or at least having multiple Homelander fics/work i really love!

[moopiter]

Thank you for tagging me @andrigyn! It's so funny because i was just organizing these yesterday to make a WIP list post:

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then you post a snippet or tell them something about it!

Hands Ready to Bleed

John the Baptist

Stars Dancing on the Water

Scalpels and Leucotomes

American Muscle

The Cowboy and the Poet

Hollywood Nights

Morbid Curiosity

Shadows of Eternity

Six Times a Day

Ragged Old Flag

I have too many WIPS to tag that many people lol. No pressure tags: @merry-andrews @hoodlander @frankthesnek @dollerinna @mialander @pink-sativa @xieyaohuan @incrediblyawkwardgremlin

[ayspooky1]

Who’s a dog person?

Mix: ___ / ?

@ddosq @xieyaohuan @theaudacitytowrite @ev-ngelion

[homelanderbutbig]

I got tagged by @redchikittymeow and @xieyaohuan in this "Get to Know Me Better" game, so here I am.

Last Song I Listened To: "Come On" by Mushroomhead. One of my favourite metal bands, up until both of their vocalists Waylon Reavis and Jeff Hatrix left.

Currently Reading: The Chucky comic series they did at Devil's Due. I got it for Christmas, it's a fun little four part mini-series.

Currently Watching: I just finished rewatching the English dub of Hamtaro. I used to love it as a kid, very nostalgic. They used to air dubbed anime on YTV in Canada as the voice acting was done in Vancouver. My shit was the dubs of Hamtaro and Cardcaptors. It's funny to hear the Ed, Edd n' Eddy voice actors in there too.

And here's a crappy little gif of some drawing I'm working on. Black Noir has entered goblin mode.

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober prompt #5: Blindfold

Love Me Blind (Butchlander)

Warnings: Just the usual E rating. Short. Why did it take me this long to post a butchlander Kinktober fill lol. I feel like I have to fill this prompt. This is set in ZMverse, post-fic timeline. No AO3 link because I may or may not slide this into the next ZnMoO4 installment.

TL;DR of ZM: HL spent a few months in captivity/bondage, including a zinc plate over his eyes, he and Billy Butcher got physically and eventually emotionally intimate to the point that when HL got free, rather than killing his captor, he remained attached to Butcher, eventually convincing him to take Compound V.

“Come on, close your eyes,” Billy whispers in his ear.

Homelander tries, but he simply can’t. He’s barely managed to force himself to close his eyes to go to sleep, but he can’t bring himself to close them here, not with Billy in front of him. Not just in front of him, around him, inside him, everywhere at once, his hips snapping forward, his rough broad hands firmly gripping his legs near the insides of his knees and pressing them down into his chest, his beard scratching against Homelander’s collarbones and neck as those places are getting marked up with hickeys. Homelander loves it. Billy on V is truly a gift— well worth the days of taking care of him during the illness the slow dosing causes. He’s strong and durable, maybe too strong. Homelander’s not sure he could throw him off the bed right now, if he wanted to. But he doesn’t want to. He wants them both to be right here, to be pressed down, to feel achingly full, to have his skin sucked on with bruising strength. He wants to feel uninhibited, no longer having to take care and keep his own motions contained, no longer afraid to accidentally snag Billy’s body. But he doesn’t want one thing.

Billy’s orgasm somehow rocks through his body too, muscle tremors, rapid heartbeat and all, so that Homelander almost questions if they had somehow become physiologically connected. But no, his stomach is dry, cock still begging for release.

Billy unclamps his grip from his legs but doesn’t slump down on top of him, doesn’t pull out.

“Come on. Close ‘em for me,” Billy repeats, his voice husky, still breathing heavily, and runs a finger along Homelander’s jawline, tapping him under his chin.

“Why.” It would be so cruel of Billy to take advantage of him now, after having his life spared and even being gifted the V. But Homelander can’t help being wary.

“Want to see you trust me.”

Homelander sighs and closes them. Even though he can see through any material, when he closes his eyes— really, honestly closes them— they seem to automatically shut off, roll up, refuse to relay visual cues. He can’t peek through his lids. He’s plunged into the darkness again, sickeningly familiar, and suddenly he can’t bear it for a single second longer, and opens his eyes frantically. He hates to admit it, but he’s terrified.

Billy’s watching him, eyes full of something sorrowful, maybe tinged with curiosity and pity.

“I’ve gotcha,” he says, lowering his body down until his weight rests on Homelander’s body, caressing his face before kissing him. Homelander feels himself relaxing and letting Billy sink lower between his spread thighs, his erection getting pressed between their abs. It’s not exactly comfortable, but it’s comforting. Homelander feels his heart rate and breathing returning to normal when he’s feeling compressed. Feeling that Billy might be able to hold him down against his will is a weird thrill, a turn-on, but also a paradoxically calming feeling.

“Close them. For just a bit,” Billy coaxes him, even as one his hands approaches his eyes and gently covers them.

Homelander arches almost reflexively, despite the weight on him, and lets out a panicked breath that might count as whimper because there was some voice put behind it, but he doesn’t toss his head or do anything to throw the hand off his face.

The darkness is here again. But so is Billy. Close to him. Touching him in so many places. Weighing him down into the mattress. They lie in silence for what must be seconds, but to Homelander it feels like hours.

“You have to promise,” Homelander says, his voice hoarse and small. He’s afraid to finish his demand aloud.

“What’s that?” Billy nudges his nose under his chin and kisses it. He’s stayed inside Homelander’s body the whole time, and Homelander can feel him becoming ready for round two, growing, swelling, feeling less comfortable but in a way Homelander wants.

“You have to promise you won’t … you know. Keep me against my will.”

Billy stays silent and Homelander’s breathing speeds up when he doesn’t hear an affirmation. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’s imagining that Billy has stashed piles and piles of ZM coated wire under the bed, ready to secure him there, just waiting for the right opportunity. He so badly wants to push the hand off his face and see for himself.

“Okay,” Billy breaks the silence. “I promise you.”

Maybe it’s because he took so long to consider it, but Homelander actually finds those few words believable, relaxing his spinal muscles and sinking into the bed. “You want to fuck me with my eyes closed?”

“No,” Billy says. “But I want you to trust me.”

Homelander smiles wanly. “Who else am I going to trust?”

“That’s sad, mate.”

Homelander shrugs.

Billy removes his hand and Homelander blinks in the light before wrapping his arms around his partner’s shoulders, wrapping his legs around his waist, squeezing him closer, further inside, pressing up together so they almost feel like one body again.

Yes I cheated, there was no blindfold. I wrote blindfold for like 40k words as backdrop that’s relevant. It’s not a kink, it’s a way of life 😎

[digitalbath1988]

No cheating! You’re starring in a movie with the last celebrity in your camera roll. The last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

It’s obviously Anthony Starr and the title is The Only Time. Which I was listening to while I was writing another chapter of “Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me” starring Jealouslander. 🫣. Some big shot thought it was a good idea to send OC flowers and a note making fun of him- now she’s gotta try to manipulate/talk him out of killing the guy…

Thank you to @emptychests and @xieyaohuan for tagging me! I’m gonna tag @homeb0ys @hom3land3r @darkdahl @blindmagdalena @plasticfangtastic @hopecountyisforlovers @sehtoast

[deliciouskeys]

The torture might just keep him hard, in which case, great. I’ve always wanted to read about HL’s cock coming like an intermittent sprinkler, every 30-60 seconds for hours on end. Just keep him hydrated.

POT 👉👈

Lol that's just a dumb smutty outtake from my Homewell verse where she's responsible for teaching him about normal human stuff, and he's using it as an excuse to ask her to fuck (for purely educational reasons, of course!), but he never lasts more than a hot ten seconds, so she's like, we really have to practice this self-restraint thing, don't we. Title is exactly what it says (link nsfw); don't ask me where she gets the courage to do this, I'm just the chronicler of events here.