#xiaoge could easily stop it from happening

[unforth]

Jumping in with some Iron Triangle OT3 outside pov for @polyshipweek!

Today is day six, and one of the themes is drabble, so here, have a drabble.

Fandom: DMBJ Ship: Iron Triangle OT3

*

"Who's that?" asked Wu Erbai. The fat man flashed a smile at Wu Xie, then stared murder at Wu Erbai.

"My boyfriend Pangzi," Wu Xie replied brightly.

Wu Erbai frowned. "I thought that..." Murderous twink? "...slim fellow was your boyfriend."

"Xiaoge is too," agreed Wu Xie. Wu Erbai's frown deepened into a scowl. "Is there a problem, Er-shu?" Wu Xie and Pangzi shared a look and turned back at Wu Erbai, both staring murder at him.

"No," Wu Erbai sighed. Even if they didn't kill him, that twink would. "As long as you...three...are happy."

So much for grand-nephews.

[soundingstars]

Dark eyes frowned as the man was cursing up a storm in front of him. Xioage stayed quiet, not moving (not daring if he was being honest) as Wu Xie went on and on about how he disappeared and came back with only a hello. Of course, he understood that his lover was worried and upset, but he figured Wu Xie would understand him as he tended to disappear a few weeks at a time.

Xioage now realized that maybe, he should stop worrying him. He was still getting used to having people, having someone think about his well-being, and that he was safe.

With a sigh, he waited patiently for him to finish before he spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, Wu Xie."

It didn’t take long before Wu Xie started to voice his opinion once Xiaoge had returned after being gone for weeks. It was the reason why he was clearly speaking his thoughts as a simple hello wasn’t going to cut it since he disappeared without saying a word. He couldn’t bring himself to ignore his worries when it came to Xiaoge despite knowing that this was something that could easily happen. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to stop worrying about the man who he cared much about. Someone had to since Zhang Qiling did not have a lot of people to rely on until the two managed to cross paths that day. 

He knew that this was something new for him to experience, but he wanted to know where he was going at least. That would help ease his worries just a bit. Even a simple message would help as well if he was able to send one. 

A small breath escaped from him resting his fingers against his forehead for a moment 

“Just let me know where you are going next time. It will help ease my worries a bit if I know.”

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[humanlighthouse]

6 and 13 for the fanfic asks. :)

6. What's the detail you waited on bated breath for readers to notice?

Honestly, it happens more often than not that I accidentally put in something, readers pick on it, and I go pikachu face at the comment box lol but I really liked the way people seemed to stop at the ending lines of my last qipao fic, The White Fur Denouement, because I absolutely loved writing them. They're very sentimental but they felt right, you know? I do think that this is something Wu Xie could have considered, and that his abandonment issues would appreciate visible signs of their relationship and even more so the fact that he could trust in them even without making them permanent.

13. Do you have a favorite character to write for?

I joke often that I always write Wu Xie with adhd like me but there is a reason I imprinted on DMBJ so hard lol In the longer fics like my slave au he feels very natural for me to write because of this, his dialogues with Pangzi also come very easily because they're conversations I could have with my friends. But I gotta say that my favorite is, unsurprisingly, Xiaoge my beloved lol I have no idea if I do him justice or anything but every fic that I write from his pov ends up as one of my favs somehow? I love writing him so repressed and have him slowly and unwittingly unfurl into happiness. I wrote fics for 3 other fandoms before dmbj, one for Anne with an e, one for a small webseries, and one for SongXiao (currently on hiatus), and all of them started with a deeply, severely depressed character slowly growing back into their skin and coming back to life and joy, it's just my favorite thing to write :)

Thank you for the questions hun!! Feel free to send more if you wanna play again :p <3

[redxblueihateloveyou]

1/2 "Explore the fuck was that" Xiaoge is not Xiaoge and talking is not the problem here. It's literally everything thats the problem. Also like you I've also read all the books, but failed to put into words why Xiao Yu Liang's and Huang Jun Jie's Qilings didn't give me any divergence from the original character despite the changes, while others did and pretty drastically. I thought it was a bit irrational on my part, but you just sorted it all out so effortlessly I'm a bit jealous

Lol I said the exact same thing, the talking and the phone was not a problem as some say, he has a phone in the book too at some point and talks more than you'd actually think, it's just that literally nothing about him is Zhang Qiling. Literally not one vibe or even tiny feeling. I don't know how that happened honestly.

AAAAAAAAA I saw the smile comments too lmao. I was like who's gonna tell them. Not only he smiles, he's full on laughing in the 2nd book already, when Wu Xie is using his spit as a lotion lmao. And Wu Xie was so happy about, he was like "I saw him smile before, but it was always so bitter and cold, this was the first time he smiled genuinely, he just needs to spend more time with him, we'll get him there" T_T Before that his smiling was legit a bit scary tho, sometimes brash, like when he told him about the stairs and he went "oh really?" haha

I thought about it and I honestly have no idea about the reference point for some people. I think maybe they go from that first adaptation? Maybe they think it's how he is in the book? Idk. It just weirds me out that I feel like some created some their own picture in their head and then judge everything from there throwing "thats ooc" left and right. Like this "Xiao Ge doesn't smile thing". Maybe it's because of the "Poker-face" thing, but do they know that "Men You Ping" doesn't actually mean that, it was just the closest thing you could come up with with english alternative to keep the nickname short (like I doubt it would read well if he kept calling him a bottle xD). Like according to Wu Xie since the very first book, his hubby can't even lie, so he's definitely not a poker face at all. He also gets pissed pretty easily and he likes to fool around sometimes too (like troll Wu Xie and Fatty obviously).

He's also not emo and not the "mysterious hero from some romance", not a stone and not a zooty. I don't know where this all came from tbh.

I can really debate 24/7 about this, but they're 100% Qilings, just slightly changed and softened accordingly to what they'd be like at this point of their relationship, if he did write it in (and I'm like pretty sure I'm right about this). It's the way they behave, how they act in certain situations, how they're with Wu Xie, how they're with other people, the right amount of sass and being done with everything, just the overall picture, the "you're an idiot, but you're my whole world". But also you know, that strange feeling that Wu Xie describes, like "when he's there, everything is suddenly alright" lol (just the magical safety vibe esp in SOP). I literally don't know how ppl who read the whole thing watched them and thought "thats not right". It's the fucking overall feeling of.. yes, i'm watching Zhang Qiling.

Just change the book's impending doom of tragical "you're my whole world, but I can't stay and there's no way for this to work" to "we actually have a future and I want to stay in our home with you" and that's basically Yuliang's and Junjie's versions (one on the way, one fully there by the end). But even if for some reason you can't accept this, I still don't get how some could hate it, cause overall they still have basically everything they need. Unlike others who are way off in my opinion, bc of the weird templates they are.

And about "Explore the fuck was that" (lol I'm gonna use this title from now on) seriously, no offense to this creation and everyone who liked it (no judging here for real, everyone likes what they like), I'm not gonna heavily diss anyone or anything, I don't really care for the thing, just telling the truth. No one who's participated in this thing have a fucking idea about the characters they're playing or writing about.

I mean, as a fan many things that were adapted from books, I already do not care for minor divergence or even bigger once, if it makes sense and you see the care and understanding of the characters, but sadly here it felt like no one cared. Like for example honestly if someone asked me what would you choose "watching wu xie and xiao ge but not 100% sticking to the plot" or "loosely watching the plot, but it's not wu xie and xiao ge", I'm gonna pick the first option.

And some will say that's it's only the writers/directors mistakes for not explaining or guiding actors etc, but to be honest it's not completely true, bc as we know many actors if they really care before taking on the role actually try to do a research about the character and read the material to understand what they're playing. Especially if it's such iconic characters of a franchise Сhina's been going crazy over for like a decade.

Like how the hell happened that Zhu Yilong for example while playing embodied all the Wu Xie's traits througout the whole book series from behaving exactly like young Wu Xie did in certain needed parts to going to the cold, strategic and rational old self in others, I mean, they could've just go with the "Restart" one, where not much happens and he could've played just that. But literally each time he did something, I was like "yeah, that's my boo". And that wasn't the part of this exact book, it was part of Wu Xie. Like the way he behaved, acted in some previous situations that you know its him. That's happening only when the actor knows who he's portraying.

Or Yuliang knowing and loving and feeling the character he plays, because he wanted to know and cared.

It's just strange to me, bc if they're not making it for the fans, then for whom do they even make it? For themselves? It's really stupid no matter how you look at it. Like your success depends on it, so what's the point in sinking your own ship I will never get.

I also do not get how could they just fail literally everything. Like casting was a miss already, but good acting and chemistry and putting character's soul in it could've make it great still, but they have literally none of anything, it's just fascinating to me. I just don't think I ever seen something like that, it's kinda funny.

But this is like once again just my opinion. Like everyone is free to think what they think, but maybe just stop yelling "OOC" without knowing the original character, cause maybe it's not really OOC. Like book Xiao Ge is not exactly what many ppl claim him to be really.

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 2

Okay, I wasn't sure if I'd get to ep 2 today, but I need Iron Triangle shenanigans to cheer me up after the feels fest that was Train to Busan

So here we go! DMBJ S2 Ep 2!

The counts at the start of ep 2! 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 1 for Wu Xie, 1 for protagonists, 2 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 11 for Wu Xie, 16 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- Opening with Wu Xie wandering around somewhere, so I'm guessing this is another dream/nightmare 

- 'Somewhere' turns out to be a sunken ship 

- Minus all the water 

- I'm expecting a jump scare any moment now

- Not as bad a one as I expected, but still 

- a wild Sanshu suddenly appears! 

- This dream Sanshu being just as creepy as the dream Sanshu in the previous ep 

- And just as murderous 

- And now he wakes up thanks to Pangzi, and it's daytime now 

- Looks like the storm is over, too

- OMG Pangzi that is not how you're supposed to meditate 

- lol @ Wu Xie's confused reaction to it 

- Hahah, A-Ning was not successful in hiding the booze from Pangzi 

- Wu Xie, baby, I love your confidence here about there being no complicated traps, but it's entirely misplaced

- He definitely has to suspect that that's Xiaoge after the whole ghost ship thing, he wouldn't be giving that cute little smile otherwise

- Oh god, the English dubbing is so bad. The words and lips don't sync at all 

- And it looks like her boss is a foreigner this time? 

- This water is so murky 

- This swimming around underwater making exaggerated gestures bit could have been much shorter than it is 

- Like seriously

- It wouldn't be quite as bad if the water wasn't just this constant murky green so that you could actually see properly 

- But as it is I'm mostly just looking at this dirty green screen with some shapes moving past sometimes

- I get padding out an episode, but it's been almost five minutes of this now 

- Oh, at least now we're at least getting little flashes of Wu Xie recognising this stuff from his grandfather's notebook 

- But still 

- HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE TOMB

- 5 1/2 mins before something even marginally interesting happens >.< 

- Because apparently now the statue is opening its eyes. Maybe. 

- Wait no, I counted wrong 

- 7 1/2 MINS 

- 8 1/2 mins before they get to any breaking and entering 

- 8 1/2 mins to do what should have taken 2

- It wasn't even marginally interesting filler >.< 

- Just....dirty green screen with some dark shapes, and the occasional close up on faces or wrist notepads 

- And this knife is cutting through the mortar holding these bricks together suspiciously easily

- Oh, the evil hair is making its first appearance 

- Evil Hair Count: 1 

- Yes, touching it is a great idea! Well done! 

- Oh, it scared it away this time 

- Apparently, the evil hair being scared away is what triggers the brick door to automatically open for them

- Oh, I like this shot of the wetsuit hood almost looking like a hoodie hood. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but I still like it.

- SUDDEN CORPSE APPEARANCE 

- Oh, sudden thing swimming real fast into/around them 

- Most of this episode has just been...murky green

- Like. They've been in the water for 10 minutes so far. And the only important/interesting things that have happened have been finding Sanshu's stick, finding the statues that reminded Wu Xie of shit in the notebook, Wu Xie thinking the statue eyes opened, the appearance of the evil hair, the door opening, the corpse appearing, and now this thing swimming by them. All of which could have been done in, like, a third of the time.

- Since they all took only a few seconds each

- Oh, it was evil hair lady, who is now swimming away super fast when Pangzi shot at her. 

- I'm amazed he could see clearly enough in the murk to even aim, tbh 

- Oooh, dramatic music 

- It would be nice if I could see clearly enough to know the reason for the dramatic music

- PANGZI. WU XIE. YOU HAVE NOTEPADS ON YOUR WRISTS. 

- YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE OUT YOUR OXYGEN MOUTHPIECES TO TRY TO TALK UNDERWATER 

- YOU ARE WASTING YOUR OXYGEN 

- OH HI EVIL HAIR LADY 

- I will make that Evil Hair Count: 2, because it was a lovely shot of her hair as well

- Oh, they've made that maelstrom-like tunnel the entrance to the tomb in the drama 

- Oh god, the greenscreen 

- I think Chongqi is the only one I've seen so far that does greenscreen even halfway well 

- It took them 11 1/2 mins to get into the tomb

- An entire quarter of the episode was just them fucking around underwater where the viewer could barely see what was happening at the best of times 

- Since the ep is 45 mins including opening and ending credits

- Oh, they've come out into the room with the pots, except it has a pool in it this time 

- Sigh. Of course they gave A-Ning pink-accented gear.

- They all have a different colour on their goggles to tell them apart, but in the underwater stuff it was too dark to tell what colours she and Xiaoge had. Now that they're out of the water, I can see that hers is pink. 

- And I'm like 

- WHY 

- PLEASE 

- STOP

- Why are there spiderwebs in the underwater tomb? 

- The babby zombie footprints! 

- Yes, Pangzi, those tiny little footprints are Sanshu's 

- Hahah, I love little shit Wu Xie 

- Apparently spiders even have to be built into underwater ones. Either that, or spiders can now dive

- Maybe when they built the tomb, they made sure to have spiders in there. Which also means they had to ensure there was spider food in there. 

- Oh, hey, in the drama they actually think to look inside the jar! But babby zombie is not in there this time.

- Oh, it was in one of the other jars instead 

- Okay, time to follow the baby in the jar 

- Oh, this hallway 

- A-Ning is about to be a very bad girl 

- Also, so many cobwebs 

- So many

- I think that lends credence to the 'spiders were put here when the tomb was built and so have lived here for thousands of spider generations' 

- WHY ARE ALL THE CANDLES LIT 

- WHO LIT THEM SO RECENTLY THAT THEY'RE STILL BURNING

- I still can't get over them subbing 'Sanshu' as 'Uncle San' 

- And random English because why not

- I was about to say the traps are stupidly obvious in this hall, then I remembered the Starfinder adventure I ran where the trigger was a giant mosaic on the floor that practically screamed 'trap' & the PCs just walked over it. And then were surprised when the trap triggered.

- Oh, here we go, A-Ning's about to do the thing 

- Complete with evil villain smirk as she does so 

- I wish there was better lighting in this hallway, because A-Ning's moves are amazing and I would like to be able to see them better

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone

- Those are some wuxia-esque spinny moves from A-Ning there 

- Nooooo, Xiaoge, don't leave Wu Xie there without you! 

- I wondered how they were going to have Wu Xie get hit by them since Xiaoge stopped him from being hit by the initial shots 

- Dammit, A-Ning

- I appreciate that Pangzi's first reaction is to run to check on Wu Xie 

- Even though that got him shot himself 

- lol, these two dummies sitting there screaming once they notice all the arrows that they hadn't noticed before

- Good Pangzi, showing off that you're actually smart by realising Something Is Up with these arrows 

- "Does it feel this good to be shot to death?" 

"I've never died before, I have no idea" 

 - Hahahah, waving the arrow to see it that would attract more firing

- Then oh so carefully peeking up over the edge 

- Ah, finally Xiaoge reveals himself properly! 

- That face mask is just ridiculous 

- lol, Wu Xie's reaction 

- Those wide puppy eyes 

- lol, Xiaoge's little smirk at Wu Xie

- And again. THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

- Here we are at the first chamber switcheroo 

- I wish they'd subtitle at least the important parts of Wenjin's notebook when Wu Xie reads it and gets clues 

- They were good with subtitling the wrist notepads when they were aimlessly swimming around for 11 mins 

- But nothing else

- "Do you have Alzheimers" OMFG, Pangzi 

- Pangzi gonna Pangzi 

- I seem to say something along those lines about all of the Iron Triangle 

- But it's true 

- Ahahah, Wu Xie's facial expressions when he's brushing off Pangzi here 

- It's little shit Wu Xie all over

- Look, okay, flashbacks are fine and all, but does it have to be a flashback to the FUCKING GREEN MURKY WATER 

- Okay, at least that part wasn't too long 

- That container is not sealed, that paper should not have been dry

- Certainly not so dry that exposure to air made it crumble and blow away

 - Professor Zhang? 

- HOW WERE THE IMPRINT OF WORDS LEFT BEHIND IN THE DUST?! 

- IDK why they needed two archaeological teams in this flashback 

- Also, hi, flashback Xiaoge 

- Hey, it's the copper snek fishy

- Oh, that was a good cliffhanger to leave this episode on! 

- Xiaoge remembering that he has been there before

So! Ep 2 ends with: 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 2 

 Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6 

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 5

Okay, now that my workshop is finished, time for DMBJ Explore with the Note ep 5! Otherwise I will spend the entire afternoon just fucking around in WoW instead (one day I will show you screenshots of my Iron Triangle-as-WoW-toons).

We start ep 5 with the usual counts 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 3

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- It's been a few eps since we had updates to the rescue or swoon counts, so here's hoping for Ep 5 

- Ah, yes, the baby archaeologists just discovered the heavenly palace 

- At least this girl is marginally less annoying than she was in the novel 

- ...okay, I take it back

- Sweetie, it's a fucking tomb, why are you upset that there's a corpse in there? 

- Those are some impressive fingernails 

- lol, and they were all so distracted by the girl that no-one noticed 'Xiao Zhang' going all Zhang Qiling to get up there to check out what freaked her out

- I am disappoint that they didn't keep the present time crew in form-fitting wetsuits for the whole underwater tomb investigation like they did with the flashback crew 

- OMG the look on Wenjin's face, I love it 

- I think she's starting to realise that he knows what he's doing

-Very good questions, Wenjin 

- Oh, so that wasn't just better set lighting, the tomb was actually fully lit somehow? The better question in this case is not 'why is it suddenly so dark' but 'how the fuck was this underwater tomb so well lit?'

- THEN you can follow it up with 'why has the mysterious lighting suddenly gone out?' 

- WHY would you bring such a group of easily scared kids on an archaeological expedition to EXPLORE THROUGH TOMBS? 

- That seems like a bad idea even if you didn't think anything weird would go on

- ISTG, Sanxing, Wenjin, and Xiaoge are the only level-headed ones of the bunch 

- A mural. They were in hysterics over a mural. 

- I mean, yeah, there's a lot of high mountains, so not surprising you can't tell which one it is

- I was gonna say she's super judgey for an archaeologist but...nah, yeah, that tracks for academia, speaking from experience XD

 - This episode has been taunting me with potential rescues that never quite get there, so it better actually pay off with one of them this episode

- Oooh, bitty shadow 

- Wonder if it's the baby corpse from the jar earlier 

- ...oh, right, Sanshu's still running around in some weird trance

- Awww, the lights go out in the heavenly palace room, and the entire set lighting goes from lovely and well-lit so you can actually see what's on screen, to super dark and shadowy, even outside that room

- Sorry, sanmei, I know I said I’d stop talking about lighting, but...I live in eternal hope of good lighting. The flashbacks here were actually GOOD up until now. So I am sad they've gone back to bad lighting. 

- I'm embarrassed to say that it's taken me the entirety of Guardian, Granting You A Dreamlike Life, DMBJ 1, and now partway through ep 2 of DMBJ 2 before I've realised that I can pause Viki playbacks by hitting my space bar.

- OMFG, how many rooms are there in this tomb with a set of porcelain vases arranged in a particular order?

- Smart, Wenjin, conserving flashlight batteries like that. 

- I know that this Wenjin must be older than the Wenjin in the Chongqi flashbacks, but why couldn't we have had this Wenjin in those flashbacks as well?

- Chongqi Wenjin is ok, but this one's more level-headed and competent. And much better at de-escalating semi-hysterical girls. 

- Then again, I suppose if Chongqi Wenjin had this Wenjin's skills, they wouldn't have been able to have had that dumb ~DRAAMAA~ with the love triangle

- Tunnel floor is suddenly wet again instead of dry. Wish they'd make up their mind 

 - Evil Hair Count: 4 

- This time creeping on random guy at the back of the party 

- Who is mildly disturbed that he's suddenly got water down the back of his neck. Don't blame him

- Judging by the way Xiaoge just clapped a hand over his mouth and nose, I'm guessing that they all just got gassed. 

- And it must be a REALLY FAST acting gas if they all collapsed like 5 seconds after Xiaoge covered his nose and mouth, and he seems to be fine

- Oh, no, spoke to soon, down he goes 

- Okay, Sanshu. A) That's creepy, and b) why aren't you also affected? 

- ...something that takes down Xiaoge for long enough that he wakes up in a hospital bed concerns me 

- I do not blame him one bit for looking so perturbed

- OMG, that GRRM roast, that's fantastic 

- I hope Xiaoge is just leaving out all of the unnecessary family stuff that he doesn't think Wu Xie and Pangzi need to do, otherwise he just implied that the Zhangs have just, like, misplaced him for 20 or so years and not looked for him?

- Wu Xie is always so desperate to believe the best of Sanshu, it's really cute 

- Ah, I see we're back to the requisite pingxie staring for the episode. Excellent

- Here's the clearest sign yet that S2 does not follow on from S1 at all, as it completely ignores changes that S1 made to the plot and instead is referencing novel events that did not happen in the drama. 

- I would have been SO FUCKING CONFUSED if I hadn't read the first novel

- lol, Xiaoge. Giving a tiny almost-smile and clapping someone on the shoulder after dropping a bombshell like that on them is NOT how you're supposed to talk to your crush

- And it looks like we're now back to Wu Xie's nightmares from the first ep 

- ...is that last one supposed to be Xiaoge? It's hard to tell with the angle and (yes, sorry, sanmei) the lighting 

- Way to ruin the moment, Pangzi 

- ...omg Pangzi 

- I'm kinda cringing now

-  Hahah, the look on Wu Xie's face. Like, same 

- Those are good points, Pangzi, but wouldn't you still have the problem of being underwater without oxygen tanks? That tomb is pretty far down and mostly buried in the sea bed, after all 

- ...Wu Xie that maths made no sense at all

- Rude. Pangzi has said useful things before now! 

- LOL at all the "don't touch anything" "i mean it" "also" "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING" 

- Because we all know that Pangzi is gonna touch stuff and try to steal at least one thing 

- Oh, there you are, A-Ning 

- How did you get in there?

- This is an unnecessarily long sequence of Xiaoge running his fingers over the door and Pangzi messing with his hair, set to super annoying BGM. Was it really necessary to have a full 1 minute 40 seconds of that? 

- That should have been done in, like, 30 seconds tops.

- I do like how excited this Wu Xie is to see the cool architectural stuff like the moving doors in here 

- After that first hallway, they all seem so unconcerned about traps 

- Tombs are usually, quiet, Wu Xie. Hence the saying 'quiet as the tomb'

- Xiaoge's tiny smiles at Wu Xie and Pangzi's banter are just adorable

- OMG THEIR FACES

- But guys, you really should have looked for traps first 

- Before the walls started trying to squish you like pancakes 

- "Start climbing", says Xiaoge, as he just fucking leaps up the sides of the walls

- Good thing these walls are conveniently not smooth and straight, with regular hand and footholds 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 3 for protagonists

- Not quite the dramatic rescue I was hoping for, but I'll take it since it's been so long 

- The closed walls has now made them a cute little tunnel to crawl through

- Oh, wait, annoying girl was from one of the Nine Gate families? 

- Which one? I'll have to look her up later, I've completely forgotten her name.

- Xie Lianhuan is talking Sanshu into taking him along on the original expedition. Honestly, dude, you dying is all your fault, you weren't even supposed to be there

- Oh, Qiu Dekao was involved in the 20 year ago bullshit as well. Why am I not surprised? 

- And with the tomb from S1, too, also 20 years ago

- Wait, if Wenjin was the leader the whole time, how come she kept deferring to Sanshu? 

- Dramatic bgm! Dramatic reused footage! 

- Oh yeah, the looks on their faces, I know exactly who just popped into mind for Pangzi and Wu Xie at that 

- Because who else could have done it?

- ...okay, except Sanshu, point 

- Oh noooooo, more fucking underwater diving scenes 

- This show is instilling in me a visceral loathing of underwater diving scenes. They're awful

- Like, seriously, after 5 eps they've already shown enough underwater goddamn diving scenes to fill up a full half of an episode 

- An entire quarter of one episode was made up of them 

- Oh my GOD that bgm. That was...something

- Okay, Xie Lianhuan was supposed to have dug this passage? Seriously? 

- He was only missing for a day before they found his body, how the fuck was he supposed to dig a loooooong passage, high enough for a fully grown adult to walk crouched, in less than a day?

- Ah, and that's ep 5. 

 Count updates: 

 Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 3 for protagonists, 4 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 4

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 18 for protagonists, 19 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6 

Season 2 is decidedly lacking in swoons so far. It better up its game.