#xena and her fish...

[jennyandvastraflint]

That's it. That's the show.

[lucyllawless]

#xena definitely owns multiple "happy wife, happy life" t-shirts

[thesearchforbluejello]

I laughed so hard at Xena throwing a whole ass eel at Gabrielle that my downstairs neighbors definitely heard me

[normcore-tertiary-character]

I still think there's perfectly good chance for a Xena reincarnation to show up

[raisinchallah]

you know i think for the modern day xena episodes xena should have been like the leather jacket wearing and motorcycle driving type but like the coolness factor drops immediately when u realize all she ever wears under the leather jacket are extremely lame fishing themed t shirts for dads and she has a sidecar on her motorcycle dedicated entirely to fishing gear and she loudly grumbles about having to remove any of it (what if we run into a really great stream while running away) when hippie crystal hawker gabrielle has to ride alongside to get away from the big bad of the episode (callisto the yoga instructor with a dark side who still believes that xena totaled her car in a motorcycle hit and run) and they would just be like that lesbian couple thats entire personality is about camping and gabrielles like just a little too into astrology

[cipheramnesia]

If only Xena Warrior Princess would wiggle her fingers to tempt me into licking them as if I was a fat delicious fish

[sgiandubh]

Hello good afternoon! On Sam's part, we already have some speculation there in Mordor (will we have a Barbie Fitness revival?). But what about IFTA? Will we have a two-pronged attack this weekend?

Dear IFTA Anon,

The IFTA event is in Dublin, on April 20th. Next week, not this week-end.

For the moment, we have Landcon in Paris on Saturday and yup, he registered for the Cologne Hyrox on Sunday:

And so is Mrs. Xena, what a surprise:

Of course she geotagged herself, aaah-ing and oooh-ing near the Dome. Ha. Ha.

After all, she told Herr Lederhosen, her Bavarian fan Numero Uno, she was going to race PRO at Hyrox Cologne, hashtag lonewolf, hashtag Club Flamingo (but afterwards, LOL) - more about this, here: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/744955031835541504/out-of-the-ol-bubble?source=share

If you care to see the event's agenda, you'll notice Hyrox PRO women is very short (I have no clue why, ask me about Pre-Raphaelites, instead) and almost simultaneous with the beginning of the Men's race, where S competes. Cue in salacious comments from *urv, I think we should expect at least that.

On the flip side, a revival would be very farfetched, taking into account that Daily Fail article which portrayed him as a Raya lookin' for a hookin', elite available man (LOL for years). PR might be a bitch, but never does something like that without a reason.

Fingahs crossed for that Flamingo Club. Oh, and pour la bonne bouche, she even told us where she is staying in Cologne:

A 'full appartment with kitchen' and thank you Primal (paid partnership, of course) for today and the ESN hotel, starting tomorrow. Here is an interesting clue, just in case anyone pre-empts the fanfic and imagines a kama-sutra side event in one of the numerous hôtels de charme of Cologne.

There is no ESN hotel (yes, I looked, Deutschland and her beauty are not my forte) in town. The ESN she is talking about is Elite Sports Nutrition, a German fitness supplements company (https://int.esn.com/) prominently featured at FIBO 2024 (same dates, roughly, same place):

They pay for the room and she doesn't even know or care where the hotel is.

So long for the fish, Anon. That settles it for me. Also, for having participated several times at different high-level events organized by the German authorities (think EU ministerial summit level), I can tell you these people do not joke about accommodation, transfers and registration formalities: this is very strict and very, very effective. Best organization in the world and I know something about it.

*fondly and suddenly remembers her miraculous long week-end at the Adlon Hotel, in Berlin, circa 2007 *

[Later edit]: Told you. *urv already wrote Chapter 13 of Fitness at Dawn. It's based in Cologne:

*bangs head against wall*

[utilitycaster]

A few recent books I've read and disliked led me to this conclusion but it feels like there's been this switch over time with queer stories. It used to be that queer relationships (or queerness in general) had to be Show Don't Tell because, well, you could not make them textual! So you get, for example, shows like Legend of Korra, or Xena: Warrior Princess, where you have women who are clearly devoted to each other to a degree that goes beyond mere friendship, and a ton of effort and care is put into that depiction because they can't actually be shown in an explicitly stated relationship. And as a result, these relationships, while they never receive confirmation in the show, are rich and complex.

Now not only is it much easier to make explicitly queer stories outside of niche areas; it's even popular (and, cynically, a marketing tactic). The problem is I've run into a bunch of stories that are marketed very clearly as A Queer Story that forget to like...be a story, or show me why these characters should be in a relationship. It's All Tell No Show: I'm told that the characters are gay and are in a relationship, but no work is done to actually explain why I should care about this beyond "well they are gay and in a gay relationship."

I'm not going to rehash what I discussed here, but Baru Cormorant is an example of those books where I'm given no real reason to care. The protagonist is a lesbian but the prose reads like a phone book. On the other hand, while Starless has a queer disabled woman as a one of the two protagonists, it also provides her with traits other than "queer, disabled, woman, important" and grants her a rich interiority (even though the story is told entirely from the first person point of view of the other protagonist.)

And the thing about the good examples in that link (Starless, Teixcalaan): they show and tell. It's both explicit that these are queer stories with a canon romantic relationship, but the little moments that make up the tapestry of a relationship are given the time that moments in a subtextual - or frankly, even a queerbaiting work are. That's the real tragedy; for queerbaiting to work, you have to actually make the relationship compelling enough for people follow it until you pull the rug out from under them; whereas you can slap a cold fish kiss on a cold fish queer relationship and technically you are Better because it was Explicit Representation even though everything about it was poorly constructed. I would rather have an lazy and shoddy explicit relationship than queerbait just on principle; but honestly I'd rather have a good story that does neither.

One of my more cynical interpretations of this is that writers are either intentionally or inadvertently taking advantage of the legacy of the Show Don't Tell era of queer coding to place the burden of those small moments on the audience. They know that people looking for queer relationships in fiction are used to having to dig for moments and subtext; but instead of providing that subtext, they set up the clunky text and assume the subtext to support it will emerge from the fandom. Or perhaps, more generously, especially for younger queer writers, they are just so used to having to provide that work themselves that they forget they are doing the writing and are able to (and should) layer subtext and text together and weave something actually good.

Either way, it's this that's led to the "Lesbian necromancers in space, need I say more"* era of recommendations, taglines, and writing, in which explicit representation is, if not plentiful, at least available; but a worrying amount of it forgets to actually write realized characters or a relationship with chemistry or a plot that makes sense.

I should also note: there's obviously a TON of straight romances and books that range from mediocre to abominable. I am under no circumstances arguing that "gayboring" media shouldn't exist. But while I don't think queer stories should be held to a higher standard, I don't think I should be obligated to settle for a lower standard either simply because it's gay. I know it's fraught, in that we're at risk of publishers and producers taking away the message "people hate this because it's gay" rather than "people hate this because it's poorly developed," but like...at the very least, could we recommend things in terms of "this is a great book that has a wonderful queer romance" and "this show is gay but it is also deeply mediocre, and if it weren't gay I wouldn't recommend it at all; do what you will with this information."

*I should note: I happen to like The Locked Tomb (of Lesbian Necromancers in Space fame) a lot! I know it's not for everyone; I know it can feel very gimmicky at times. But no matter how you feel, that tagline is DIRE and does a miserable job of representing the books. Like, that premise could suck, actually (and plenty of people find it does) if you're not sold on the mere fact that it's got lesbians, necromancy, or space in it. Worth noting that neither Starless nor the Teixcalaan books were heavily marketed as Queer Romance Fantasy/SF even though both very much are, which does further make me think this is a case of people writing good books that are queer, vs. people writing books with the intention to be on some New Queer SF list or, god forbid, Booktok.

[roads-rise-to-meet-me]

Coral Island Farmer Questionnaire: Xena

Found this template from @coral-nerd and decided I could definitely use a moment to infodump about my girl Xena! ^^ Anyone else have this weird tendency to give their cozy game OC's backstories that...Really don't fit the genre? No? Just me? Oops.

How Does Your Farmer Feel About...

Farming In all honesty, farming might be the thing Xena finds most draining about being the newest addition to Coral Island. She didn't expect growing plants to come with so much...Expectation. A rather naive perspective, admittedly; but one that blindsided her nonetheless. And after she was caught off guard in her first year by the sheer competitiveness of the Harvest Festival, it took no time at all for imposter syndrome to start to set in. And it's endlessly frustrating for her! She spent so many of her early years on this farm that she's working now. Surely she should have picked up some kind of rough skillset, right? But for the first year or so farming is the one task that Xena seeks to get over with as quickly as possible each day, and she finds it hard to take pride in something she feels she is always lacking at. But as more people start to acknowledge her hard work, she learns to hold her head up a little higher year after year.

Mining Never expected herself to care for it much, but Scott's endless quest to restore the museum's collection is a cause Xena readily takes up herself. Thus, she finds herself blazing a mighty trail through the mines impressively fast. And with Scott's tendency to stay closer to the surface, his gratitude when Xena chooses to share her hard won bounty with him becomes rather addictive for her. Also, gold bars are worth a fortune? Seriously, why is she still bothering with crops?

Foraging Foraging is great! Especially when it's after dark and the other islanders are either asleep or cramming themselves into the tavern, leaving the trails outside town mostly devoid of anyone except for her. The islanders she does run into after dusk are usually the ones she clicks with better anyway, and the island is bountiful enough that even the most lightweight haul makes her feel like she's accomplishing something.

Catching Brings her right back to her years as a child on the island catching whatever critters she could get her hands on. It's nostalgic, and reminds her of the years before her own questionable decisions led her far from the only place she ever really was able to call home. But to outsiders looking in, she simply seems to find it fun. And as long as the museum's insect collection grows steadily, no one really minds that she seems particularly taken by this hobby.

Fishing Not as active as catching bugs and ocean critters, and she's a little too impatient for it most days. But it's slightly more engaging than watering crops. So when she's truly bored out of her skull with no time to really get wrapped up in anything else, she'll throw out a few casts. Becomes quite a bit more intrigued by it when she reels in her first big catch; a barracuda.

Ranching For someone so hyper aware of the way she acts in every social interaction, ranch animals are an unexpectedly pleasant escape. They don't expect a performance; they just want food and maybe a bit of affection. Both of which she is happy to provide in exchange for a place to vent out those frustrations she can't bring herself to talk about with anyone else.

Combat After residing in the city for so long with a job that had the possibility of landing her in the literal laps of some morally dubious people, holding her own in a scrap is something Xena isn't a stranger to. It feels a little more refined on Coral Island though, especially after she's made a member of the Band of Smiles. Learning to wield a real weapon instead of her keys threaded through her knuckles or a can of pepper spray has a positive effect on her psyche; especially when she's using her newfound skills to slay monsters, as opposed to warding off sleazy strangers seeking to overstep her boundaries.

Diving It feels like an obligation, but not one Xena is necessarily burdened by. When Xena returns to Coral Island after so many years away, she returns with lessons learned and quite a few knocks taken. The island itself looks like it can relate, and the sorry state of it is the first thing that starts chipping away at the walls of apathy Xena has put up over the past few years in order to get through every single day. It isn't farfetched to say that some part of her hopes throwing herself into healing the island might help her start to piece herself back together in the process.

Interacting With The Islanders It's stressful, for a good long while. There's so many familiar faces, and to Xena most all of them haven't changed a day. But she most definitely has, and not in a way she feels she can talk with all these quaint islanders about. So she makes up stories about college and a dead end finance position at Pufferfish that sucked the life and soul out of her, remembering just enough lingo from her former clients to keep her ruse convincing. It gets easier down the line when she finally finds her place in the community again, and the one person she finds it easiest to talk to learns everything there is to know about her. (And he still wakes up next to her the next day and asks if they can make falafel.)

Other...

What is their favorite building material? Stone. Sturdy. Gives her peace of mind that at least her structures will stand up to the test of time, and she can free her mind to worry about every single other responsibility she has instead.

What is their decor style? The most unholy hybrid of beach and disco you've ever seen.

Who's their love interest? Scott. There's a simplicity about him that Xena very quickly finds herself clinging to; even when she's still making herself walk on eggshells around the other islanders. She's not intimidated by him like she is most others, and his enthusiasm for his field is both infectious and a welcome distraction from her own thoughts and insecurities that she wrestles with daily.

What's their favorite thing to grow? Cranberries. As previously mentioned, it takes her much longer to actually enjoy farming. But she loves cranberry juice. And to be able to juice her own berries that she grew from seed does give her a small sense of pride, even in the early years.

What's their favorite animal? Outside of her and Scott's canine sons from their childless newlywed millennial dreams era? Probably quail. Their absurdly small eggs amuse her greatly when she sees them for the first time, and there is something so distinctly harmless and fragile about those itty bitty birds that makes Xena sort of obsess over them.

Bonus! What Do You Associate With Your Farmer In These Categories...

Color Burgundy. Her favorite color to wear when work still consisted of catching clients in high end lounges.

Season Winter. A little icy, like her. Little to no crops to worry about, and with everyone else mostly staying indoors she feels like isn't missing out on too much of Starlet Town's bustling social scene if she chooses to spend all day in the mines or the ocean instead. Though everyone seemed to notice her missing from the Winter Fair that first year when she was working her tail off to afford her wedding dress. Won't make that mistake twice...

Metal Silver. Makes for sturdy tools that can get her through most anything. I mean, isn't gold rather soft? Who's bright idea was it to make a solid gold pick axe anyway...

[marley-manson]

Xena:WP for the ask meme!

Thank you 💖

my favorite female character

Xena man. Untoppable. There will never be another female character as satsfying and gratifying to watch as her - not just because I'm cynical but also because the kind of power fantasy she is is tied to the tone and genre of the show, which is functionally dead now.

I love that she's not just the best most competent warrior and person in the room almost every time, but that everyone acknowledges it, and by season 6 it's just taken as a fact of the worldbuilding that Xena is the best mortal fighter in the world and cannot be defeated. I love that she has an evil past and still slips into it at times, sometimes with actual fucked up results (fuck yeah the rift). Love that she does have the capacity to be a danger to Gabrielle and it's part of their relationship that they have to deal with. Love that she's toppy in her het encounters (but it's also implied sometimes Gabrielle doms and that's hot), and watsonianly at least it's for her own gratification rather than for the men, who are generally less into that dynamic.

Love her stoicism but also love that she loosens up eventually and can be goofy. Love that she loves fishing, loves fighting, loves fucking, all unabashedly. She has shame but it's for her past evil actions as a warlord, not for her intrinsic personality traits, even the ones that contributed to the warlording. Love her body language, how she fights as a power house sword and sourcery style warrior rather than as a lithe acrobat (though she can pull out the acrobatics too of course), how Lucy Lawless makes her feel larger than life. Love that she's bi and has multiple female love interests pre Gabrielle.

etc lol. I could go on forever.

my favorite male character

So few to choose from lol, so I think it's gotta be Ares. Some of his episodes make me cringe (Ties that Bind eg lol) and he often sucks, but he's consistently an entertaining villain, I love the frenemy vibe he eventually falls into with Xena, I don't dislike most of his shit in season 5, love his mortal episodes, love that he never gets together with Xena but don't mind shipping them a little on the side.

Caesar has also kinda grown on me this rewatch after not giving a fuck at all about him the first time I watched. His dynamic with Xena is interesting.

my favorite book/season/etc

I think season 2 is probably the best season, but despite some lows I think my favourite is actually season 4. It has a few of my favourite episodes (Paradise Found, Crusader, Ides of March) and I love the overarching theme of exploring Xena's darkness and saying it's great, actually.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

God now this is impossible to choose. I've never fully thought about it lol. Have a list of some faves: A Day In the Life, The Price, The Debt, When in Rome, Crusader, Paradise Found, Ides of March, You Are There, To Helicon and Back

my favorite cast member

no opinion

my favorite ship

Xena/Gabrielle of course. They're one of those ships that's incredibly fun to watch to see how far they'll push the gay subtext, but also has extremely solid chemistry, a lot of drama and episodes revolving around their relationship and love for each other, and enough darkness and angst to be interesting. And the old fandom often actually leaned into the drama and darkness rather than ignoring it! Modern f/f fandom needs to learn from their elders tbh.

a character I’d die defending

I was gonna say Xena, but honestly I'm a lawyer for the prosecution there lol, I like to emphasize everything that makes her darker or evil, rather than exonerating her. My defense is 'she did all those things and it was awesome.'

Oh, Najara! I'll defend her to the death for sure, anyone who hates her is wrong, including whoever wrote her second episode lol.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

There are characters you're not supposed to sympathize with, like Alti who's just evil for the sake of evil lol, but that feels like cheating as an answer. Also Michael lol, love that he's a villain in season 6 and totally sucks. Can I say the God of Love in general lol? Fuck all that shit.

a character I grew to love

Joxer 😑 It took 4 whole seasons but I did eventually warm up to him enough that Livia (episode) made me sad lol. Love is a strong word but on rewatch I was fond of him and found him more funny than annoying.

my anti otp

Hmmm... Gabrielle/Joxer maybe?

ask meme

[sniperct]

with xena being from the 90s is there anything specificically dubious or of the time that people should know of ahead of time before going in? ie the similar vein to warning people of tng test of honor and other drek in 90s trek?

hope you dont mind the ask, youre just one of the few people I see around still chatting about xena

some of it is YMMV. the entire show plays fast and loose with all kinds of mythology and magic from not just Greece/Rome but as far away as brittania, norway, china and egypt. (all the gods of each culture seem to exist simultaneously and occasionally interact/chat with each other.) But generally plotlines are one of the following:

Xena's evil past has consequences

Warlord/God acting up and needs to be defeated

A god is being mischievous and needs to be outwitted (aphrodite, cupid, some others are common here)

something silly/over the top/campy

Gabrielle is trying to figure out her life's direction

Xena's Personal Beef with Rome and Caesar in Particular

sometimes multiple or all of the above (see Fish Femmes and Gems)

Up to season 5 on my current rewatch, I'd say The Way is still probably the most culturally insensitive (they actually had to record a PSA on hinduism over it). The two leading up to that didn't seem to get any backlash that I could tell when reading about it. (its a three part story that's super important to the plotline and character development of the show and hammers home the soulmate angle, especially the second one). But I'm no gonna speak for that culture or anything, just what I read on the wiki. But the third part I know enough to feel uncomfortable with it). Ripped from the wiki:

The episode was pulled from syndication after protests from Hindu groups. It was finally allowed to be reshown with the addition of a public service announcement at the very end by Lucy, Renée, as well as a spokesman for the Hindu community explaining that the producers took liberties with the Hindu religion.

In general, jokes and silliness overall tend to land well, especially if you enjoy camp.

While it can be clumsy in some respects overall it handles gender and race pretty well, there's a variety of women of various roles. They had someone in drag at a fashion show episode who (who late IRL came out as trans) that was handled really well. The Amazons are very much sexy but also deep and spiritual.

Casting generally appears to be race blind with regard to heroic roles, evil roles and the more complicated grey area 'seeking redemption' roles and mostly seems to try to cast appropriately on a cultural basis. Like warlord casting seemed to be like 'are you a big guy? you're hired!'

Nothing ever seemed to approach test of honor's level of bad IMO, except maybe The Way.

(I'd argue there's even some meta commentary with regard to centaurs and centaur culture and how its treated)

Its got some of your standard 'guy likes girl, does stupid shit for girl' type stuff but he gets character growth and ultimately he's family. He's the little brother, 'only we can bully him but god help you if you bully him' type of dynamic. Someone hurts our proto-himbo joxer and xena and gabrielle go for the throat. Then ten minutes later are roasting him.

The only episode I really skip is the gross one involving lice and a skin rash(but at least they let the lady heroes be gross, quite frequently in fact). Maybe also skipping the married ...with children parody episode too. The Way could maybe get by with a summary but I wanted to watch it again specifically to see where it fell on the character part. Pretty important to jumpstarting Gabrielle's peace arc.

[ageless-aislynn]

Back in the day, (around 2006 or so, I'd wager) I decided to try making a Bag End-inspired diorama display thing for my Lord of the Rings (and friends) figures out of plastic canvas and yarn. (No pattern, I was just winging it.) Here are some pics of how it turned out. 😉

The front with the famous round, green door. I also gave them some lattice-work windows and a couple of plant pots with greenery, just 'cause. 😉

Closer up on the door and one of the plants.

This is the wall that was beyond the window and plants, on the left side as looking in that orientation. I couldn't really do a hill without it looking weird so went with a tree motif on both sides.

The wall on the right of the door, this one with a "rope" swing, just for funsies!

Interior on the door.

Everybody needs a free standing closet to store your stuff in, right?

Yes, that's an Ian McKellen Magneto wearing Gandalf's hat and politely levitating his sword into the closet.😜

Behind the door standing open a bit is a coat closet.

I wanted a sort of marble inspired pattern. Plus, I really liked this variegated yarn so...

Everybody needs a table with a vase of roses on it! And yeah, that's a Nazgul wearing a tea ball strainer on his head. It was from a joke at the time. Also, we see our Hobbit guests putting their cloaks away in the closet.

Interior behind the big window. I thought of this as a combo kitchen/dining room area with a decorative rug.

Eomer CANNOT BELIEVE that we don't have his favorite brand of coffee! Storm thinks we should have a dance party. Boromir is heading over to lean on the fireplace mantel. 😉

Clearly Gandalf is HERE for a dance party! Oh and I do believe there might be a Boromir/Eowyn "leaning on the mantel" love connection going on back there? 👀👀👀😂

It's a little known fact that Darth Vader LOVES a nice tree swing! He even brought a droid friend, d'aww. That's my Xena poster on the wall in the background, btw. One of my most favorite Xena pics ever!

I also made Shadowfax, Gandalf's horse!

He can stand on his own. And yes, I made that fishbowl, including the Very Famous Fish Rear End on the side panel, lol! Nothing but UTTER ACCURACY around here, thank you very much. 😜

The chair was made from a kit. The cushion comes off and you can store things in the bottom box part. The mug of hot chocolate has marshmallows on top and also the rim raises up so you can store small things in it.

The flower vase was also from a kit. I famously got my hand stuck in it while doing the bottom stitch to finish attaching it to the base. I thought I might have to unstitch it a bit to get free but thankfully didn't have to. Absolutely no one who saw me with a plastic canvas vase stuck on my hand laughed. 😑🤣

(As well they should have. I laughed, too, once I got my hand out of there, lol!)

My mom loved lighthouses so I made her a day and night version. They're the same size but this was 2 separate pics edited together and the different angles made the night version look smaller.

Anyway, that's a few things I made back in the day. Nothing sophisticated but I just enjoyed playing around with it. The canvas got really hard to find for a while and then got very expensive once I located it again, so I stopped making things. 😢

Oh, almost forgot to add the pic that made me think to post these to begin with: Barbie with one of my ducks from my earthquake post.

I made a bunch of these little ducks for a project I never completed, then found them in a Ziploc bag the other day. Now there are little ducks all over the house, lol! 🦆💖

PS - I may have posted these pics before. I know I did on my Livejournal but couldn't find them on Tumblr. If this is the second time you're seeing them, though, apologies. Ais is old and the memory just ain't what she used to be. 😑😉

[hexnexusdan]

huh, how did I not post this here

Anyway, here's Xena, the dragon Jakkai of the @ehksidian system! decided to draw her after she posted that "draw me "poorly" mutuals" meme. But since I'm a rebel, I drew her decently actually

she's saying fish facts

[thesearchforbluejello]

I think the only appropriate reaction to this show is that I would kill several dozen men for Gabrielle (even though she wouldn't need me to).

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena reactions S1Ep11

"How can I feed my family when your taxes bleed me dry" It's giving very... 2023 I can't afford to pay rent AND food

Slay everyone pretending to be The Black Wolf

Bruhhhh...

Hoarse nees new shooos

Xena will always help a woman.

Where's Gabrielleeee

I love when Xena kicks ass

Ohhh, they know each other

We love rescuing women from dungeons

"They're sleeping" He's just resting... IN PIECES. THAT MAN IS DEAD. So sleepy

10k and boots lolll

"You want to make it look believable, don't you" xD

GABRIELLE 😘🥰😍

Her gf just got herself arrested AGAIN.

"You like my rock?" No. :|

HAH, PUNCH HIM YESSS

WOMA'AM

"I have many skills" I've said it before Xena 🤝 Vastra

Not the scam artist trying to sell shit to Gabrielle

PLS THEM ARRESTING THE MERCHANT AND NOT HER XDDDD

Omg Halloween decorations :D

Oh fuuuuuck... Are they trying to drown her???

HEHEHE >:)

And she JUMP

Ew, gross guy. Pls kick him.

Lol not the tunnel that won't work

Xena critiquing knots

"Times change people" "And people change the times"

Awwww... She admired Xena

AND THREE PROPOSALS SHDHSHS (I like to believe he had proposals from men bc he's gayyy)

HE HAS A CLOTHING LINE READY, PLSSSS

R they all gone. Yuuup

Heh, tunnel distraction.

"This was too easy" indeed...

Love how she reflects it badly on the guy

"I got no problem" Pffft she punch his noseee

Idk I don't trust the swooshy hair guy. Diomedes? Oh also. Stone guy.

"One is me, and one's a traitor"

Gabrielle's new plan to get inside the dungeon (PLS SHE'S SO HAPPY ABOUT IT)

"She's tall, beautiful, piercing blue eyes" DGDHSHSH GAY. YOU LESBIAN.

"you!" xDD

"You have a friend??" Pls

Tomatoes is not a metaphor

"But it was me you were talking about" AAAAAAA

He doesn't understand it.? WOW SHOCKER I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

This love thing came out of nowhere. Bisexual Flora ig? 😂

"Great plan, if you're a fish, which I'm not!" He's an icon he is the moment.

I kneeew it was stone guy

NOOOOOO, DON'T KILL THE FUNNY GUY

It's ok he ain't killed

Pls her absolute death glare

"You see the pointy ends of the sword thingys they're carrying? Stay away from them" Gabrielle I love you you're legit hilarious

AND HIS RESPONSE XDDD

Decapitation is so boooring (Hello cleavage, respectfully)

Damn what a weapon

Everyone's fighting again

Gabrielle babygirl I love you beating up men

Pls the salesman is so fucking funny

Awww.

"The Black Wolf chronicles" 😂

Mummmm, hugggg

WAS THAT A FOURTH WALL BREAK FROM GABRIELLE SHDHDVSH

[raisinchallah]

gabrielle would be so into trying to come up with some riddles three would take up her whole day trying to figure out weird enough riddles just to keep in the back pocket in case she ever got cursed to guard some kind of mysterious cave or pathway she would keep trying to get xena into it but all of xenas riddles were just about types of fish oh you return from whence you came and the air kills you are you a salmon xena very clever are you ever not a fish and xenas just like :)