#xander hawke nightingale ╱ 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

[whileurmine]

@icarian-carrion liked this for a random starter or two or three lol (1/2)

"okay, yeah, no, i, hm. i will be stepping outside for... some air. and i'll not be back for... a few weeks."

[whileurmine]

"i'm trying not to be." well, that wasn't true. he already was mad. he was trying very hard not to show it. pacing around the room instead of speaking. "i just— i don't fucking understand you, hailey."

''please don't be mad.'' / @whileurmine

[whileurmine]

@miidnighters liked this for starters with dramatic brazilian lyrics

"You know, there was a time where I couldn't even see you without feeling like I was getting stabbed through the chest. But now I can stand here in front of you and—" Xander shrugged, "I don't feel anything anymore. Isn't that great? I get to be the one to tell you to go fuck yourself after everything you did."

[whileurmine]

@th-angelical liked this to watch a grown men cry.

"did i ever tell you about my dad?" he was drunk, just very drunk, waving the bottle around, every movement large and spacious. "he was such a fucking asshole. one time, one time we were at party, right? big fucking party. everyone is dancing, he is bragging about liam. always about liam, never about me. i was clearly annoyed that i was made to be there, he just turns to me and goes, maybe if you weren't such a disappointment i could brag about you and you would stop pouting."

[whileurmine]

@godqveens like this for my character saying some dumbass shit.

"no, see, i really thought i could fix it, and when i couldn't i just—" he swung the hammer a few too many times to illustrate his point. the bottle in his other hand moving along side. — xander turned to them with a smile. "be honest, do you think it's weird that i have a pet raven?" he was most definitely drunk.

[whileurmine]

"warned?" xander couldn't help but laugh. that felt harsh, but then again, it wasn't like he didn't have a reputation. he went through girlfriends far too fast. "well, i don't think i am that bad, maybe it's the pet raven, it really gives people the wrong impression." he chuckled, taking a step closer. lopsided smile on his lips, "i didn't get any warnings about you though... should i have?"

open to: anyone !

"i've been warned to stay away from you," blair said shyly, only having encountered them a couple of times before in passing, interest always piqued. "but you don't seem all that bad, not like what the others say about you."

[whileurmine]

@unapxlogeticme liked this for a lyric starter or two. (2/2)

"How am I supposed to love you when I don't love who I am? How could I give you all of me when I'm only half a man? I'm a sinking ship that's burning, you should let go of my hand."

[whileurmine]

@trxuvaille liked this for a one liner or two

"what? i wasn't mean. i was nice! i said he looks like a human. he does." no way that sounded jealous. "he looks like... a man. with man... features? i don't know. i mean, a little short."

[whileurmine]

@th-angelical liked this for a lyric starter or two.

"You know what's funny? What's funny is that you said you'd never fall in love again because of me. Then you moved on immediately. No, no," Xander chuckles, "It's not just funny, it's hilarious."

[whileurmine]

@pcrtrait liked this for a grown man saying 'im baby' bc of the flu.

"I'm gonna die," Xander pouted, curling in on himself. "I'm dying actually." He had gotten up from bed to make himself a sandwich, and before ever reaching the kitchen, he laid down on the carpet. Too tired and sick to move in any significant way. "How much do you want to heat up some milk for me? And please, before answering, consider that I'm having a near death experience as we speak."

[whileurmine]

@deamours liked this for a random lyric starter.

"you think you're funny, right? calling me drunk when it's too late at night, telling me truths that you know all are lies. i bet you think you are funny, right?"

[whileurmine]

@ruinedsoulsrp liked this for a lesser used muse/test character (this turned out to be lyric too) character: xander hawke. deeply traumatized man who would rather die than deal with a single thing happening in life.

"maybe i'm just a masochist. like, alright, fuck up my life, lie to my face, kiss me goodbye. i swear, you know i can't handle this. maybe you should call your therapist."

[whileurmine]

"I don't know!" He almost yelled that part out. Because he didn't. He didn't know, he didn't know, he just didn't know what to do with all that. And wasn't that almost worse than everything else? To be stuck in an impossible situation knowing only that whatever he chose, no matter what it was, would end terribly. "How can I be part of her life when I'm—" Xander waved his hand vaguely. "You want her seeing me getting shit face drunk on a random Tuesday because I heard a car speeding and suddenly I can't stop fucking thinking about terrible shit? Isn't that, isn't that worse? Kids need stability, right? Your, your job is to take care of her. Maybe taking care of her means keeping her away from me."

Jo softens, tight shoulders loosening, hand reaching out to lace her fingers with his. She’s always ready for a fight, always ready for the worst. “I know who you are, Xander.” She says firmly. “And if I thought this was a question of shouldn’t… I wouldn’t be asking at all.” Jo isn’t sure that’s true. She hopes it is, hopes she’s smart enough, rational enough, that she’d be able to blow up what she has for her sister if that was the right thing to do. “I just don’t see how we can be together without you being part of her life, practically speaking. I mean, how long do you want us to be like this, how long do you want to wait to live together, to… four years? Six? Ten? Years of seeing me once a week between my job and me looking after her?”

[whileurmine]

She is fourteen, she is fourteen and she is alone in the world. He can't even pretend that he doesn't remember the date of his accident, that being twenty one and alone already felt like too much. fourteen. that is just downright unbearable. "I'm not, I'm not asking you to do that, I'm not, I wouldn't ask you to leave her behind, Jo. I'm telling you..." Words failed him when he needed them the most. He was never any good at the whole feelings thing, was he? "I just... I get in street races sometimes, alright? And I know how bad car accidents are. I'm— My brother is like ten years younger than me and he is the one who has the world on his shoulder 'cause I can't wear a suit and tie without feeling like I'm choking around it. I, I'm not telling you to not do it. You should do it, you, you have to, I get it. I'm telling you, I'm gonna fuck this up. And with fourteen year old's fucking it up means doing permanent damage."

“Xander, she is fourteen and she is alone in the world. It’s me or foster care. My dad isn’t going to step up, he’s not even on her birth certificate.” Jo points out. It’s not that this is what she wants either, she’d been planning on continuing to keep her distance, but that’s not an option anymore. “It’s not like I’m asking you to be her dad! But I can’t let her go into the system, which means her living with me, and that’s going to change things.”

[whileurmine]

The problem was, well, Xavier was a lot too. A whole lot of lot. The type of a lot that ever so often blew up without a warning. The kind that would sometimes disappear without a reason. A ticking time bomb without a clock, a minefield with no signs posted. "I can barely take care of a bunch of cows, Jo. I have two dogs so they will force to wake up in the morning, because they work on a schedule. I can't get in a car with someone else behind the wheels without shaking like a goddamn chihuahua. I can't help my siblings—" That part coming out just a little too weak. "And they are both twenty somethings. How the hell do you want me to help you with a teenager?"

“Yeah. I’m a lot. I’ve always been a lot. My life is a lot. I’ve never pretended that it’s not. Cassie needs me. If you don’t want to get involved, that’s your choice, but I don’t have one.”

[whileurmine]

the night air prickled at his skin, drunkenness numbing away some of the bite in the feeling. "murder!" xander yelled out into the quiet night of his ranch, whistling the tune that always got him an answer. "she must be asleep." he tried explaining, but soon enough, the raven answered, flying by with a caw and the batting of her wings. "there you go! that's my girl!" he turned back to megan with a smile. "she can talk." xander said, profoundly excited as though sharing that information was his favorite thing in the world. he pulled a berry from a nearby bush, yelled out again, "murder!" and she perched on his shoulder. "pretend to cough." he prompted. "she'll do it too."

she laughed and shook her head, "brings you shiny rocks..." she snorted and bit into her lower lip. "yes, i get it," megan snorted and stood up before following him outside. "show me murder, please." a sigh escaped her and she folded her arms over her chest. it was cold outside and she inhaled sharply. "holy shit..." she whispered and leaned into xander as they made their way outside.