#wyldstyle is a very pretty character i really like her

[sweetpotatowo]

I dont draw lucy as much as i should i think

also benny and rex are there too i guess

[yeonjunsvape]

friday nights: sub jooyeon

genre: smut

w/c: 800

pairings: sub!jooyeon, dom!fem

warnings: degradation, cursing, jerking off

xdh masterlist

a/n: i looooove submissive jooyeon so much, i might make another one where he’s bratty, but i wanted to see how this did first.

my ask is open so message me anything!!

movie nights are you and your boyfriend jooyeon’s favorite night of the week. every friday after the both of you get off work, you cuddle up in bed and watch your favorite movies.

tonight was different, jooyeon suggested you make a pallet on the living room floor so there was more room and also the tv is bigger.

you agree and happily help him stack enough blankets to be comfortable then lay both of your pillows down while jooyeon got all his favorite snacks.

you admire how adorable he is when he does a little happy dance with a handful of snacks, plopping down next to you. “which movie tonight?”

you hum and flip through random streaming platforms then hear a gasp from your boyfriend. “THE LEGO MOVIE PLEASE!!” he shouts unnecessarily loud, as you were sitting right next to him.

“we watched that the other day baby.” you laugh at his love for childish movies and kiss his temple. “but i really like it…” you nod at his soft voice and turn on the movie, laying down so you could cuddle with jooyeon.

“can i lay in your lap?” he was looking up at you, his long blonde hair already messy even though he just laid down. “of course my honey.” he spread your legs and made himself comfortable on your lap, resting his head against your shoulder.

jooyeon being so much bigger than you and laying on your lap may look odd on the outside world, but to you, it was your entire world.

halfway through the movie you begin dissociating and feeling sleepy, then look down to see your boyfriend watching the screen intently with chips in his mouth.

you giggle to yourself and lean down to kiss his cheek, “i love you my baby boy.”

“i love you too,” his voice was muffled considering the food in his mouth and he points at his favorite character on the movie, telling you everything he loved about him. you listen, but have to admit, you were feeling bored.

you grab a blanket and throw it over your bodies, then, as jooyeon continues to ramble on, you rub his exposed belly slowly. he was only wearing his boxers which was perfect so you could execute your plan.

his story continued about the lore of the movie as you wrap your arms around his waist and at a leisurely pace, slide your hand in his boxers.

jooyeon immediately stopped speaking then looked up at you with a whimper, which made an evil smirk crawl on your face.

“keep talking baby, tell me about your favorite character.”

jooyeon nods and continues, “h-her name is wyldstyle but her real name is luCY-fuck…”

his voice went up an octave on account of you brushing your fingers over his very sensitive and semi-hard shaft.

he dug his head deeper in your shoulder with a whine as you tease him, “mommmmy.” he drawls out, attempting to buck his hips but you held them down. “focus on the movie.”

jooyeon does as he’s told, watching the movie with a pained expression and lets you play with him.

“it’s so pretty and big for me.” you whisper in his ear and grab the base of his cock in your hand, jerking it steadily.

“spit.” you command after pulling away from his dick and put your hand to his mouth so you had lubrication to jerk him.

he spits on your hand, leaving a trail on the side of his mouth which you lick up, and then go back to your hand in his boxers.

jooyeon gssps once you make contact again and involuntarily bucks his hips when you start jerking him. “patience baby boy.”

he mutters curses as he watches the movie, “you want to cum, slut?” you mumble in his ear sexily, the sloppy wet sound of your fist beating him fast was the only thing he could pay attention to. “y-yes mommy please.”

jooyeon clenches the fabric of your shirt until his knuckles were white and you knew he was close. “cum for me like the little whore you are.”

your hand never wavered speed as you jerk him the way he loves and you look down to see the outline of his tip in his underwear, then his white liquid seeping out as he came.

jooyeon curls his toes and breathes heavy while you continue to stroke him slow. “so pretty.” you giggle and pull your hand out, licking your fingers clean.

“take off your boxers and i’ll clean you up.” you command, which he complied with, standing up to take off his boxers.

you lean in, still laying and lick him all up until he was clean. “good boy, now let’s cuddle and finish the movie.”

[askthechronoverse]

Write a little snippet set in this verse, but with a character you haven't used so far. (Or if you've used everyone, one you haven't utilized much.)

The morning normally made Master Frown gag. The sunlight was too sunny and bright and the birds that found their way to Frowntown from the Unikingdom sounded too cheery. Still, he sprung from his bed and rushed to the small kitchen for some cereal. Brock nudged a bowl towards an empty seat and lifted an eyebrow.

"Ya look chipper, bro. Ya feelin' alright?"

"You know that Syspocalypstarian popstar? WyldSyle?" Frown said most of these words with a lot of disdain, but there was an underlying excitement behind them.

"Uh... yeah. Isn't she coming to the Unikingdom to look for talent for her label?" Brock's eyebrow stayed lifted. He gasped in realization. "Oo! Are ya gonna show her your sick wooden spoon moves?"

"NO!" The reply was quick and harsh. "I have an opportunity to make everyone miserable!"

"I'm glad you still do this stuff as a hobby, but can you take a break for once? I totally wanna go to see if she has some demo records, but I don't wanna get kicked out." Brock moaned as he finished his cereal.

"No! I have a plan, Brock! A method to my means. You can still get some records while we're there if you come in after me!"

"Alright, babe. Let's go." By this point, Frown had finished his cereal and was running for the modest beat up car the two drove. "Oh. Yeah, I'll lock up. Pretty sure we've got some cookies left. I'll bring those." He grabbed a plate of two or three cookies, dumped them in a plastic bag, then left for the car.

It felt like a very short drive, of which Brock was glad since all Frown wanted to talk about was the chaos he was about to spread. They pulled into a small building close to the edge of the city. A crowd had already gathered as a banner flapped in the wind that announced that Running on Caffeine was looking for new talent. Three minidoll vampires with crystalline hair zipped through the crowd, grabbing different discs and thumb drives. Brock waved one over and handed her the cookies. Frown shook his head, which Brock saw.

"Everyone likes cookies, Casey," was all he said as the crystal vampires began to sing in a chorus.

"Single file! Single file! You all may not be able to see the heads, but we've got your demos!" Most of the people in the crowd filed in a haphazard line that was already starting to wrap around the block. At first, Frown's eyebrows furrowed. Soon enough, he had pushed his way into the line. A chorus of 'hey! no cutting!' chimed behind him, but he turned around and blew the crowd a raspberry. Brock followed behind and waited for his boyfriend's next move.

This move was to pull out a megaphone.

"Hey! We listened to your demo tapes and none of you have any talent!" Frown really didn't need the microphone. He was loud enough on his own to make a good portion of the crowd disburse. Some musicians that wore their genre on their sleeve remained, glaring at Frown. " None of you have what it takes to make it in the industry!" The crowd thinned a little more. " You may as well give up now! It's all downhill from he-!"

Frown was suddenly thrown from his position to the rainbow colored concrete. A woman stood above him, her ponytail whipping in the wind that kicked up as she moved. Her dark eyes looked down upon him, the aura she exuded making most of the people closest to him back off. One name was whispered as the crowd looked on: WyldStyle.

" I'm gonna need you to leave. These people are nervous enough without you heckling them." The woman cracked her knuckles as Frown scrambled to his feet.

" I'm not going anywhere until he shows up." He folded his arms and stomped one foot.

"Who? My partner isn't a guy. Everyone you're going to deal with is female, if that's your problem." She rolled her eyes and pulled her arm back to throw a punch.

"Isn't your buddy Rex Dangervest?" There was silence for a beat before WyldStyle spoke again.

"What does he have anything to do with this?" Her words hung in the air like a sword on a thin wire.

" Aren't you gonna call him?" WyldSyle grabbed Frown by both shoulders.

"Why would I call him?"

"He... He's usually the guy Queen Unidork calls when Hawkodile isn't available?" All of the resolve Frown had dissolved. WyldStyle rolled her eyes and threw the threatened punch.

"And I'm usually the one he calls when he needs someone's butt kicked." With one swift throw into their car, WyldStyle returns to her post and Frown was driven home.

[fairydraws04]

The Afterlife Of A Time Traveler

(hey guys! I wrote this fanfic and AU! it’s currently 1AM, I just finished it and it probably sucks but I don’t care!)

Rex was terrified. No Lego he knew had ever died. Even Vitruvius had come back from the dead, proving in some way there was no Lego afterlife - and yet he had just disappeared from existence. Everything was black around him. He started crying.  “H-hello?” he said into the darkness, barely even trying to use his tough guy voice, plus his voice cracking due to him crying. Information was fed into his head. He had a choice he could make. He could stay there and suffer for eternity, or start a new life in a completely different universe. He was given a minute to decide. He felt bad about his mistakes, and stopped crying, but still with a shaky voice said “I want to sta...start over.” with that very sentence, his minifigure body glowed with pain. Everything hurt. He could feel things he had never felt on his body before. And then, in an instant, he wasn’t in the darkness anymore.

 “Who are you?” said the voice of a young teenager. He sounded defensive. Rex opened his eyes, which had been closed because of the pain, and looked around. Seeing not only how different his surroundings were, but seeing Legos - Emmet - no, his whole universe on the grass he was standing on at a smaller scale, drove him into a panic attack. He fell to the ground on his face, crying and shaking, which freaked out this young teenager and his sister even more. “Bia you go get mom, I’ll stay here and make sure he’s okay.” said the teenager. The girl nodded and ran off, and the boy walked over to Rex. “Hey dude are you okay? You kinda just appeared out of thin air” he asked. Rex couldn’t move. A woman ran through the door to the backyard. “What happened?” she asked the kids. “He just appeared out of thin air mom!” said the girl. “Finn, what happened?” she obviously didn’t believe her daughter. “Mom, you’re really not gonna believe this but he just appeared out of thin air.” said the boy. “Really? Have you seen this boy before?” the siblings looked at each other, shrugged, and look back at their mother. “No mom” said the girl. “You’re sure he doesn’t go to your school?” she asked the boy. “Yeah I’m pretty sure, I know most of the kids in my grade and the ones I don’t I think I would at least recognize.” responded the boy. “Huh. well we can’t just leave him lying here, Finn, can you drag him to the couch?” said the mom. “sure mom.” said the boy, picking up Rex by the hands which he then put around his neck in a fireman carry. He then carried Rex, who was knocked unconscious upon hitting the ground, to the couch in the living room of the house. He laid him down face up, noticing his nose was bleeding. “I'll umm… go grab tissues to help him” said the girl, running off. Rex's face was now clearly visible and very different from his Lego face. His hair was mostly the same shape and color, but his yellow plastic “skin” was now pale. He also had freckles and acne in the place of where stubble use to be. He looked like a normal 13-14 year old boy. 

“And you swear you’ve never seen this kid before?” said the mom, putting tissues up Rex's nose to help stop the bleeding. “yes mom” said the boy. The girl nodded. Rex had been breathing out of his nose, so it now being clogged by tissues woke him up. His eyes opened quickly and he started to panic again, trying to sit up but not having enough energy to. “its okay, its okay,” said the mom, trying to calm rex down. “What’s your name?” she asked once he was calm. “...Rex.” Said Rex, his voice shaky. Just then, the Mom got a call on her cellphone. “Hang on, sorry I gotta take this. Kids, can you try to help him out?” she said, picking up her phone and holding it to her chest while walking away from the kids. “My name’s Finn and this is my sister Bianca. So… Rex.. Where are you from?” Asked Finn. No response. “What are your parents names?” Asked Finn, again. No response. “Do you have amnesia?” asked Bianca. “Sis, if he had amnesia he wouldn’t know it, and I don’t think that’s an appropriate thing to ask him.” Finn looked back at Rex. “Sorry about her. But, do you have amnesia?” He asked Rex. Rex shrugged and shook his head no. “Well, what do you remember then? You have to be able to tell us something, right?” asked Finn. Rex thought about it for a second, and then noticed the Legos were still visible through glass door to the backyard. He pointed at them. “Legos?” said Bianca, confused. “Legos… is that it?” asked Finn. “I umm.. I don’t think you want to hear the full story…” said Rex, his voice still cracking. “Can you give us a short, believable version of it?” asked Bianca. “I...I can try.” replied Rex. “I am… or I at least was, a Lego.” he said, serious as he could be. Bianca snorted. “Yeah right, you were a Lego, next thing you’re gonna tell me is that you know Emmet and Lucy right?” asked Finn, doubting Rex. The very mention of Emmet’s name sent a dagger into Rex’s heart. “Yeah, they were my best friends. Wyldstyle, Unikitty, Metalbeard, Benny, Batman, Emmet, all of them. Even Vitruvius, y’know before he died. I even helped defeat President Business 5 years ago! Everything is Awesome will always be my favorite song, and Bricksburg, or apocalypse burg, or whatever you two are calling it now will always be my true home.” he said, his voice cracking and his old voice seeping in. Finn and Bianca couldn’t believe their ears. “Wh..Who..What..” Finn was in shock. This wasn’t really happening. A Lego minifigure didn’t just come to life, no, this kid was just crazy. “Who are...Who were you?” asked Bianca. This question confused Rex, but he answered the way he wanted to. “My name is Rex Dangervest.” Said Rex. “sounds like a name you would come up with bro.” she said to Finn. “how to you believe this so easily Bia, it’s impossible!” Finn said, raising his voice a little. “Well nothing is impossible if you just try” she said, quietly. “She’s right” Rex said, agreeing with Bianca. Finn sighed. “As much as I don’t believe this whole thing and as impossible as it might be… you do have a point” he said. Rex sat up, now having the energy to do so. “So... how close were you and Emmet?” asked Finn, now curious what Rex might know about the character he had spent the last 5 years creating, despite not remembering Rex’s existence at all. Rex hesitated before answering the question. “...We were super close. He was basically like a little brother to me.” he didn’t want to tell anyone about his true past, or that he was Emmet just yet. He needed them to trust him for some amount of time before that. “Uh huh.” said Finn, not believing Rex again. “What’s wrong with that?” asked Bianca. “Sis, him saying that is basically saying that he was… Queen Whatevera Wana’bi’s sister or daughter. It doesn’t make sense in the story.” Finn explained. “...oh.” replied Bianca. “Yeah. who are you really?” asked Finn. At this point, their mom came back, stopping this conversation. “I am so sorry about that Rex.” she said, then she turned her attention to her kids. “Kids, Dad had to go to an important business meeting and won't be back till next weekend.” she explained. “Okay.” said Finn. Bianca nodded. “Now, Rex, do you, I don’t know, remember anything before you “magically appeared” in our backyard?” asked the mom. “He’s a Lego from a different dimension!” exclaimed Bianca. “Bia!” Exclaimed Finn, knowing his sister didn’t understand how crazy this sounded. “Really?” said the mom, trying to tell herself that her kids weren’t crazy but knowing full well that they probably were. Rex nodded. “Yeah, sure, what else did he say?” asked the mom, not buying it. “He knew all Finn’s character’s names! I bet he even knows mine! He says that he was Emmet’s brother!” exclaimed Bianca, excited. “Well today is just a day of very interesting events I guess. Rex, if your parents don’t show up here by next Monday we’re kicking you out on the streets.” said the mom. “...okay…” said Rex, worried. What could he do in a week? 

A lot. As he learned, he could do a lot in a week.

That week, Bianca and Finn both happened to be on spring break, so they and Rex spent the whole week playing with Legos. Rex even made his own character to play with them as! A dog trainer named Ripley who trained Dinosaur-Dog hybrids. Mainly raptors. He learned more about what Finn and Bianca thought of the characters, and how they saw his whole world. It was hard for him to watch at some points, knowing he ending things as he did, and there was no way Emmet knew that Ripley was actually Rex. Sure, Emmet knew about Finn’s existence from the whole kragle thing when he was taken out of his world before, but there was nothing linking that kid and Rex together in anyway. 

In Emmet’s world, Ripley had the same voice as rex did and it freaked him out. Rex had been sleeping on the couch the whole week. He didn’t mind it. The kid’s mom gave him acne cream because his acne was bad. He didn’t mind it. He didn’t mind anything that they did to him that would seem bad, because he had been through so much worse. But to know these people were part of the reason he was stuck under that dryer for so many years? He did mind that. That 

Sunday, the day before Rex would inevitably be kicked out on the street, Bianca went over to a friend’s house, meaning it would just be him and Finn. 

The perfect time to tell Finn the truth.

 “Hey Finn?” asked Rex. had been fiddling around with some Legos while Finn texted someone. “Yeah Rex?” Replied Finn. “Can I talk to you about something?” asked Rex. “...Sure, what is it?” responded Finn, a bit confused. “Can we go inside?” asked Rex, unsure of who would be listening if they were outside, and still in the body of an anxious 13 year old. “...Sure” replied Finn, still unsure of what was going on. They went up to Finn’s room, Rex sitting on the bed and Finn sitting on his swivel chair. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” asked Finn. “a week ago, you asked who I am… Who I really am…” said Rex, looking down at the carpeted floor. “Yeah, and?” responded Finn, confused. “Finn… I lied.” Said Rex. “I knew it!” exclaimed Finn. “So what are you, some weird kid who’s been spying on me for the month or something?” Said Finn, both mad at Rex but happy that he was right. “No Finn…” said Rex, taking something out of his pocket. He held up a plastic Lego minifigure of a construction worker. “I am Emmet.” Said Rex, with a serious look on his face. Finn just stared at him in awe. Well, at least it looked like Awe. it was more of a mix of fear, confusion, and somewhat surprise. “That’s impossible.” He said, now sounding mad at Rex. “I’m from a different dimension. One where my ship got blown up and I landed on-under the dryer. You and your sister never made up and I was stuck under the dryer for years. And eventually, something in me died down there. I built a time machine to go back and save my past self from blowing up the ship. Of course, not without getting a team of raptors and building a ship to protect the galaxy beforehand.” explained Rex. Finn didn’t believe a word of this. “What the hell. I thought we were friends, Rex. but if you’re just going to lie to me more, well then maybe I’m glad mom is kicking you out tomorrow.” Finn yelled at Rex, ripping Emmet out of his hands. Rex went into another state of panic. But this time, he felt something different. As if he shrunk down to the size of a Lego. He looked at his hands. He was a Lego again. “REX????!!” Exclaimed Finn, his chair backing into his desk. He couldn’t believe it. Rex had been telling the truth this whole time. He did the only logical thing he could think of. He took Emmet (who was sleeping anyways so this was probably just a weird nightmare to him) and Lego Rex back to the backyard, putting Emmet back where he had been before doing anything else. Rex came back to life as a human on the grass of the backyard. “Rex!!” exclaimed Finn, now happy as ever to see the human counterpart of the alternate timeline version of his favorite Lego character. “See kid, I wasn’t lying.” Said Rex, sounding just like his old self again. Without a second thought, Finn gave Rex a hug. “Kid?” Rex was confused by this. Finn was crying a little. When he was done with that, he explained himself. “You’re the closest thing I’ll ever get to meeting Emmet Brickowski for real. You’re the closest thing I’ll get to me meeting my best friend.” this made Rex start crying too. The two boys came up with a plan, once they realized Rex could change from human to Lego and Lego to human whenever he wanted to. He transformed into a Lego and waited in front of Emmet and Lucy’s house. 

Rex cautiously knocked on the door. “Coming!” said a familiar voice. Emmet opened the door. “R..Rex?” he said, staring at Rex. “Hey...Emmet…” replied Rex. “how are you still alive? I thought you disappeared forever! Wait, were you Ripley the whole time?” “Emmet, who are you talking to?” said another voice familiar to Rex, except it was a girl’s this time. Wyldstyle. “Rex?” she just looked at Rex in shock. And so, Rex explained what happened to him to them. “So, let me get this straight. You became human, became best friend’s with the man upstairs’s son, and then found a way to become a Lego again?” Said Lucy, still in shock. “Yeah well he didn’t believe the Lego side of the story either so.” Said Rex. “well I believe it.” said Emmet. “Emmet, you can’t be so trusting of Rex” said Lucy. “Lucy, you haven’t seen the man upstairs’s son. Rex and I have.” said Emmet, trying to find a way to trust Rex. “yeah, well I’m pretty sure I’ve seen his daughter!” Lucy blurted out. “You what” said the two boys in unison. “After you destroyed everything, a...human girl picked me up and just stared at me before throwing me into the abyss with the others.” explained Lucy. “Bianca.” said Rex. “that was Bianca.” he continued. “And the Boy’s name is Finn right?” asked Emmet, remembering Rex’s story. “Correct.” replied Rex. “hmm…” Lucy was In just as much disbelief as Finn was, and Emmet was acting more like Bianca had before when Rex explained his backstory to her. “You have no proof!” Said Wyldstyle. “And you have no way to disprove me.” said Rex. Lucy did not like this fact. “Emmet, he tried to trap you under in the undar system of dryer. You can’t trust him.” “well maybe you can’t, but I can.” said Emmet.  And from that day on, Rex lived a double life, in the Lego and human worlds. Mostly in the Lego world. He befriended the rest of Emmet’s friends and apologized for ruining Queen Whatevra Wana’bi’ and Batman’s Wedding. Eventually Lucy learned to trust Rex. Back in the human world, Rex would tell Bianca and Finn about what he and the others would do, and how their imagination was just the start of what really happened in the Lego world. 

[calypsolemon]

How did each character in the ghost au die? :00 (rubs my nasty little hands together i love character death)

HOOOG THANKS FOR ASKING ANON

for a little context, in this au, everyone is living in our world rather than the lego world, so things are a little more realistic. none of the characters have met each other before except for a select few, and some of them have died already before the events of the au really kick off. Also, in this au, lord business is the same as the man upstairs/finn’s dad

this about to get long and also sorta fucked up so,,, you have been warned 

Emmet in this au is much the same as he was in the movie; a normal construction worker with no friends and not much of a life, but deep inside a longing to be recognized and remembered. He dies in an accident on the job, falling from high up on the construction site and landing directly on a broken pole. Because his death was so sudden, he doesn’t realize his state for a long time, and believes people cared so little that they didn’t notice or bother to help him and let him die there (in reality an ambulance was called but the nature of his death meant it was pretty much instant and there was no saving him). His soul remained on earth because of his desperation to be cared about.

Wyldstyle and Batman in this au are indeed dating, but they’re not really kick-butt heroes or anything. They’re dumb college kids who mostly waste their life getting drunk/high and throwing parties at Bat’s parent’s house. Wyldstyle does have ambition to make a career out of her art but getting there is hard and her mentor/adoptive father Vitruvius just died (of natural causes in this au lol). She dies in an accident involving her doing drunk motorcycle stunts at one of the parties, though she never really specifies what happened exactly. The cause of her death is her secret shame, because she doesn’t like to admit she was falling behind in her own life, and it hurts that she never really got to get her art out there for such a stupid reason. She stays behind because she can’t admit the truth about her struggles with her self esteem.

Benny is sort of obvious, he is an old astronaut who died in a challenger-like disaster in the 80��s. Being largely forgotten and not interacted with for a long time, he’s slowly forgotten who he is and why he’s even here beyond some basic personal information. Due to this his ghostly form doesn’t have a face, and he floats around in his astronaut suit. However, because he’s not clinging to his humanity as much, he’s also a little more powerful as a ghost, and will mess around with people/haunt places for fun.

Unikitty is actually a child in this au, and is probably the most fucked up death out of all of them. She lived in a house of neglectful parents, whose carelessness eventually led to their house burning down, with Kit in it. Because she is so young her soul is less attached to her physical body’s form, and will change uncontrollably with her mood and her imagination. Usually she takes the form of a cute cat-themed pink princess, because that’s how she liked to see herself. But when she’s upset/angered/reminded of her death, she becomes surrounded in flames, and sometimes can be so powerful as to set physical things on fire.

GCBC were brothers, and both “cops” in their own right, GC being a security guard, and BC being a detective. Their careers had the unfortunate circumstance of crossing paths while BC was on the tail of a suspect, who ran into GC’s building. The suspect shot GC, and walking in to see his brother on the floor bleeding was so shocking, that BC didn’t have time to react to the suspect pulling a gun on him as well. They died on top of each other, concerned for one another, which lead to their souls intertwining into one. Later on, they discover this has a side effect of creating a new personality from their combined spirits, Scribble, who works as a mediator between their souls.

Metalbeard was actually an old disabled man, who grew up on pirate stories and dreamed all his life of sailing the ocean. Unfortunately, due to being born without the ability to walk, he never got around to pursuing his dreams, and eventually died of old age. Once realizing nothing was holding him back in death, he decided to present himself as an old pirate and explore the world as a spirit. However, he does have to return to his place of death frequently or else he starts fading. He is terrified of disappearing before he “sees it all.”

Finally, Lord Business was actually once just Finn’s father in this au. However, he has basically similar problems that LB has in the movie. A need for control based in insecurities about being insignificant in the world. He copes by having total control over his lego collection, and also by having total control of his son, who he often takes his anger out on unfairly. Before his death, he and Finn had a horrible falling out, which led to him storming off for work early without apologizing. Due to being so distracted by his anger while driving in a rainstorm, he ended up in a car accident and died traumatically. He awoke as a ghost with no memory except that he was to “take care of business,” and that he was very very angry, and needed to control… something. This leads him to take the name “Business” and start working towards taking territory from other ghosts.

Aaaaand that’s everybody. I know Batman isn’t here but it’s because he also didn’t die (for a while I entertained the idea of him dying of a drug overdose but honestly it didn’t fit well enough with his character or the story, even with the changes). Yeah I know all of this is angsty as FUCK but that’s the fun of this au, and also I promise there are lots of funny moments too, it’s just the deaths sort of…. are not very funny because they all need to be sad/traumatic for the characters to have reason to stick around after death.

[weekendwarriorblog]

THE LEGO MOVIE 2: ED’s Very Important Thoughts on the Animated Sequel

It’s hard to believe it’s been five years since Lord and Miller’sThe LEGO Movie blew everyone out of the water with the fact that an animated advertisement for the LEGO brand could turn out to be an enjoyable and funny family with a nice message about playing with your toys. (Sure, Pixar kind of beat them to the punch with three Toy Story movies, but whatever.)

Lord and Miller are back to write the sequel with Mike Mitchell (Trolls) directing, and as the title suggests, it actually takes place right after the end of the first movie when the main boy is told by his father (Will Ferrell) that he has to let his little sister play with the LEGOs, too. The results are these toddler-created monsters threatening Bricksburg, which is a great gag, sure, but not one you might think worthy of a five-year cliffhanger. Those alien creatures are the wards of the Tiffany Haddish-voiced Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi, who wants the Chris Pratt-voiced Emmet’s friends to come to her royal wedding, but Emmett decides to save his pals from the queen’s brainwashing instead.  On the way, he meets Rex Dangervest, a tougher and cooler version of himself (also voiced by Pratt), and the two of them travel to the Queen’s planet, mainly to rescue Emmett’s ongoing love interest Wyldstyle/Lucy (Elizabeth Banks).

So how did this turn out?

In a nutshell, I HATED IT.

I’m not trying to be a Cranky McCrankerson here, but before I get into my review in more detail, let me paint a picture for you: I go to the screening room, presuming it will mostly be press (or the press that hadn’t already left for Sundance) seeing the movie early so they can review by the time the embargo breaks. Instead, it’s mostly made up of parents with small children who talked all the way through the movie… and that wasn’t even my biggest issue, because the movie was supposedly MADE for kids. No, I was sitting next to this older guy who was laughing and reacting so loudly to EVERY SINGLE SMALL GAG that I could barely hear the dialogue being said sometimes. After about fifteen minutes of him and a couple others behind me cackling like hyenas, I thought I was going crazy. Am I missing something here? Was that small gag really THAT funny?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as I’ve been a fan of Lord and Miller for a long time, and up until this movie, I thought they could do wrong. They’ve even managed to avoid the sequel slump TWICE with two decent sequels, but this time? Not so much. Clearly, their focus may have been more on making Spider-Verse great, because this one ended up just being a lot of recycled one-joke characters – yeah, we get it… Batman has an ego, Benny loves spaceships – and a bunch of new characters who didn’t do much for me. Tiffany Haddish basically just does her usual schtick, voicing the film’s pseudo-baddie with the filmmakers expecting that audience members will be along for the ride. 

And then there’s the songs, which were somewhat endearing in the original LEGO Movie, but now seems to be making fun of its own silliness by including a song sung diabolically by Haddish about her not being evil and others which are are similarly inane. (There’s a song called “Catchy Song” that’s meant to be super catchy… get it?)

Chris Pratt is still having a good time now voicing two very different roles, although Emmett’s bright enthusiasm in the face of horrible occurences wears itself thin pretty quickly. Elizabeth Banks is also great, and sure, it’s hard to hate Will Arnett voicing Batman, but it always feels like everyone is trying too hard while not pushing the envelope nearly enough to make Part 2 stand apart as its own movie.  (The real world stuff is overused, whereas in the original, it was a nice change of scenery/environment.)

Clearly, Lord and Miller know what worked so well from the first movie, and they make very little effort to reinvent said money-making wheel, plus new director Mike Mitchell also doesn’t seem to have an idea what’s working humor-wise or not. (True confession: I HATED Trolls, too.)  Basically, everything and the kitchen sink is thrown at the viewer until they no longer can resist being dragged along for the ride. That’s right. The viewer themselves are being brainwashed, and while the first movie made an effort to avoid or create humor out of its obvious consumerism, this one goes so overboard as to have a recurring joke of showing the product ID of some of the bricks being used in the builds. In other words, no one involved making this movie can ever make a joke about product placement or Disney’s merchandising in movies ever again. (It partially reminded me of 2017′s The Emoji Movie, though not quite as flagrant.)

When all else fails, it falls back on the cameos and inside jokes that only adults will get and only dimwitted fanboys and girls will laugh at. In other words, it’s playing down to the rubes – people who will mindlessly laugh at anything that connects with their own personal worldview. Normally that would be fine in a family film, but there’s so much that will leave the kids out in the cold. A Mad Max: Fury Roadgag? Twilight? Back to the Future? Really? It just feels like Lord and Miller have lost touch with the primary audience this movie is supposed to appeal to—kids—and instead want to make sure their parents i.e the ones that make the money to buy their kids all the movie-related LEGO toys, are having a good time. I don’t think me not being a parent was why it didn’t necessarily work on me.

There also generally seems to be too many messages from the typical “be yourself, cause that’s what people like” (not always true) and even worse is the one to “play nice with your little sister.” As someone who spent four years begging my mother for a little sister and then realizing what a nightmare she would be for the next 20 years of my life (I kid, sis!), it’s hard to give a thumbs up to a movie that’s probably eschewing the same message that will probably be the message of the upcoming Toy Story 4. Sure, there is some third act cleverness with a time travel twist, but it feels like younger kids will probably be scratching their heads trying to understand that, as well.

With an uninspired plot that pummels the viewer with jokes only the simplest of minds will laugh at -- and I’m not even talking about kids here! -- The LEGO Movie 2 is a lot like the animated version of the Fyre Festival. So are we having fun yet?

Rating: 5/10

[jillmckenzie1]

Everything Is (Slightly Less) Awesome

It’s very difficult to be surprised by movies these days. You’ve seen trailers released by major studios that seem to leech most of the drama out of the film they’re promoting. If you go to certain corners of the internet, you can piece together marketing materials, leaked screenplays, and footage and basically get the gist of a film before it’s even playing theatrically.

That sucks, so I cherish those moments, particularly in studio blockbusters, when I get blindsided. One of my favorites from 2018 was the last 30 minutes of Avengers: Infinity War. If you haven’t gotten around to seeing that particular cultural juggernaut I won’t be so churlish as to spoil it. I will say that I admired the courage it took on the part of the filmmakers to allow the audience to leave on those particular notes.

Back in 2014, I was flattened by The LEGO Movie. Can you blame me? From the outside, it looked like little more than an extended toy commercial. We had already endured several appalling Transformers movies, and what were the odds a movie about toy bricks would be anything approaching good?

Turns out the odds were pretty good! A blend of strong visual storytelling, whip-smart writing, and a voice cast game to go as ridiculously as possible is why I maintain The LEGO Movie is the best film of 2014. It made over $400 million at the box office meaning that a sequel was required by federal law. Now that sequel, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part, is upon us. It may not have the blazing creativity of the original, but it’s still good, good stuff.

Picking up five years after the events of the first film,* the candy-colored metropolis of Bricksburg has been overrun by squeaky-voiced invaders from the Duplo galaxy. In a clever nod to Mad Max: Fury Road, it’s now known as Apocalypseburg, and the inhabitants have adapted accordingly. Surfer Dave has become Chainsaw Dave. Sewer babies are a part of the morning commute. Lucy/Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks) has become a hardened warrior who spends her mornings staring out upon the wasteland and brooding.

Well, almost everyone has adapted accordingly. Emmet (Chris Pratt) is still sunny, industrious, and perky. In the middle of this dystopian nightmare he’s built a cute little house to impress the tough-as-nails Lucy. He’s also started having mysterious dreams about an impending “Our-Mom-Ageddon.”**

There’s no time to worry about signs and portents, not with the arrival of General Mayhem (Stephanie Beatriz), the commander of the Duplo forces. She announces that the alien Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi (Tiffany Haddish), supreme leader of the Duplos, is intent on marrying Batman (Will Arnett). In short order, Batman is kidnapped, along with Lucy, Unikitty (Alison Brie), MetalBeard (Nick Offerman), and Benny (Charlie Day). What’s the hapless Emmet to do?

Well, he grabs his trusty plant, Planty, he builds a spaceship, and he heads off to the Systar System to rescue his friends, naturally! Along the way, Emmet encounters Rex Dangervest (Also Pratt), a hilariously “edgy” adventurer accompanied by an army of tennis-loving velociraptors. From there we’ll get lots of music, a blizzard of pop-cultural humor, and some interesting observations about how we play and who we play with.

Last June I caught the boringly titled Incredibles 2. A little distance from that film tells me two things: first, it isn’t quite the thunderbolt of pure imagination that the original is; second, it remains a nearly impeccably made film that remains true to the spirit and ethos of its predecessor. I feel exactly the same way about The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part.

 You can be forgiven for feeling apprehensive about director Mike Mitchell considering some of his past films were Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Shrek Forever After, and Trolls. There are definitely moments where you can feel the pacing lag noticeably as well as sequences that are a little repetitive. Mitchell strikes me as a filmmaker who doesn’t necessarily have a distinctive directorial voice. Rather, he’s a team player who rises to the level of the team around him. Here, he’s got a strong script to shoot from and producers who know exactly what the finished film should be. He may not be the driving force, but he’s delivered some solid filmmaking results.

Christopher Miller and Phil Lord are the driving forces in this particular case. Last time out they directed, produced, and wrote the screenplay. While they have handed off the filmmaking duties, this feels like their baby, primarily due to the script. Lord and Miller excel not only at transforming bad ideas into great ones, but they also have a solid understanding of how stories are told. That understanding allows them to tweak common tropes and spin them off into something unique, and you can see the results of that in the wildly creative Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. However, they haven’t quite cracked sequels. You can see that in the very good 21 Jump Street and not quite as good 22 Jump Street, and you can see that here. True, it’s not fair to penalize them for failing to recapture the magic the first time around. Their script is still crammed with a metric ton of clever jokes and tunes, including the appropriately named “Catchy Song.”

Just like last time, the cast has come to play. I give Chris Pratt a lot of credit for not only recapturing the sweetly zany energy of Emmet but also having a great sense of humor about his career playing the try-hard explorer/archaeologist/raptor trainer Rex Dangervest. Will Arnett’s Batman is still hilariously narcissistic, and Elizabeth Banks as Wyldstyle gives possibly the best performance, combining exasperation, determination, and hidden sweetness. I say “possibly the best performance,” since Tiffany Haddish gives her a run for her money. As the shape-changing Queen Watevra she’s delightful, particularly in a scene where she tricks Batman into proposing to her by implying she’s really into Superman.

I can live with The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part occupying a slightly lesser level than its predecessor. I’m pleased we’ve got a sequel that’s still motivated to do more than simply coast on the goodwill gained from the original. Plus, how can you get cranky when you have an end credits song by Beck, Robyn, and The Lonely Island about how great end credits are?

    *If you haven’t seen the first movie, this plot synopsis will sound insane. Plus, if you haven’t seen the first movie by now, why not?

 **I desperately want a movie where the main character has ominous visions that turn out to be nothing.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/everything-is-slightly-less-awesome/